#the way home incorrect quotes

[yourmomsbookclub]

So I experienced a thought:

(Landry family + Elliot at dinner in 2025)

Jacob: So, I'm thinking about going to Sawcon this year.

Del: What's Sawcon?

Elliot: *trying not to laugh*

Jacob: SAWCON DEEZ NUTS!!!

Elliot: *wheezing*

Kat: *glares at Elliot*

Del: *sighs* I should've seen that coming.

[at1r1-p4rk3r]

Peter; at school and just got in trouble: I swear I'm innocent!

Principal; not amused: That's it. Your aunt passed? I'm calling your parents.

Peter: Haha, good luck with that!

Principal: What?

Peter: My parents are DEAD! *unhinged laughter*

Principal: but I have their phone numbers....

[hurtspideyparker]

Peter: I collect parental figures like they're pokemon cards

Stephen: How's that working out for you

Peter: ...I also collect parental issues

Stephen *facepalms*: You're an embarrassment

Peter: Hey! Don't make me look up to you and value your care

Stephen: ...

Stephen: Did you just threaten me with your love?

Peter: Yep. It's as deadly as a serial killer

Stephen:

Peter: It's actually caused a lot of attachment issues for me

[cosmically-incompatible]

Hannibal who spent 2 hours in the kitchen trying to prepare Will's favourite hamburger recipe.

Will: hmm... this is almost as good as Wendy's

Hannibal: *serious eye twitching*

[padawansuggest]

13 yo Obi-Wan: You guys are keeping me captive 🥺

Jaster: Ob’ika, we are bringing you back to the temple to reunite with your people.

Obi-Wan: 🥺 then why am I in a cage?

Jaster: *looks pointedly at Jango covered in bite marks, bandages and a torn kute*

Jango: Jas’Buir, he’s really cute, the bites didn’t even hurt 🥺

Obi-Wan: Yeah, I’m just making friends 🥺

Jaster: *soul deep sigh* I am not letting you out of the cell so you can maul my ad again.

Jango: Buuuir, he’s just an ad’ika, lookit his ik’aad fangs, he won’t actually hurt me!

Jaster: You we’re begging me to get his fangs out of your wrist five minutes ago.

Jango: He’s just teething!!

Jaster: Jan’ika, I know you want to keep him, but he’s not even house broken yet.

Jango: Neither was I when you adopted me!! He’s chosen me! Lemme keep him!

Obi-Wan: 🥺 I will be a good boy if you stick your fingers in my enclosure 🥺

Jaster: *physically holding Jango back* No. We will revisit this when the baar’ur has given him a Xanax omfg- *dragging Jango out of the ship hold*

[mysterylilycheeta]

MJ: why are you following me? Peter: because we’re dating now MJ: okay… what about Ned? Peter: we’re a package deal Ned: buy one idiot, get one free

[nicktoons-unite-incorrect-quotes]

Jimmy: I am going to pump cerebral spinal fluid through my braincells to remove the metabolic by-products of the day's thoughts

SpongeBob:

Danny:

Manny:

Jenny:

Timmy: ...What?

Jimmy: It's called sleep and it is my bed time. Nighty-night, y'all

[shit-people-probably-didnt-say]

Wylan: *Missing*

Jesper: He would never just go off with someone he didn’t know in the barrel. Never

Kaz: Witnesses say the man had a baby goat in the windowless carriage

Jesper: Oh Saints

Kaz: It was wearing pyjamas

Jesper: *Sighs* …Did they see what way this carriage went?

[angelofthenight]

Maguire!Peter: My (y/n) is ranked for top 10 on Pokémon Go.

Garfield!Peter: My (y/n) is top 8 in candy crush

Holland!Peter: My (y/n)’s top 5 on FBI’s most wanted list

[fandomnerd9602]

Peter 3 puts his hands on Peter 1 and 2…

Peter 3: I love you guys

Y/N, Spideypool, hugs him tightly…

Y/N: I love you too, you beautiful hunk of a man!

Peter 1: who’s this?!

Y/N: Spectacular Spideypool at your service my future bestie!

[harringroveera]

It’s canon that Steve writes in his diary about Billy

[theycallmeinterstellar]

BIRTHDAY BOY

God, now he's my same age... no way, NO WAY HE'S MY SAME AGE

[incorrectrotgquotes]

Jack Frost: Listen, let's just focus on the good news, okay?

Pitch Black: No, let's just focus on the bad news.

[lifeisstrange-incorrectquotes]

Max: When I was younger before I knew about gay people, my best friend called me “a homo” and I thought it meant homeless.

Max: And I was so confused — I said, “But Chloe, you’ve been to my house!”

[sodamnbored]

Jason: *mildly complaining about the war or his latest quest*

Jupiter, hands on hips: Oh, you think I’ve been unfair? You think you’re hard done to? You just wait until Juno gets home.

Jupiter: And then maybe you’ll have someone who sympathises with you.

[lilstephenlover]

Wong: how much longer are we going to let them do that? Stephen: *rubbing the bridge of his nose* just... just give him a minute Y/N: *still pushing the doors of sanctum that are clearly labeled pull*