#the wand fight in the bathroom

[wlwloverwrites]

Discrete Packaging

Pairing: Logan Howlett x Fem!Reader

Warnings: vaginismus, mentions of pussy jobs, use of sex toy (cock ring, fleshlight & wand vibrator), no penetrative sex, breast play, pet name (princess), overstimulation, thigh fucking, smut (18+)

Summary: Ready to try something new, you order some helpful toys and play with Logan.

A/N: shout out to people with vaginismus or just really tight pussies, yall gotta be one of my favorite genders! (Joking tone)

No pressure to read, just tagging some of my favorite writers for Logan: @moonlight-prose @joelsgoldrush @eupheme @inkedells @superhoeva @ozarkthedog @gh0stsp1d3r

Main Masterlist

DO NOT STEAL, REPOST, OR TRANSLATE MY WORKS ON OTHER PLATFORMS

The mansion’s hallways are lonely. So lonely, your footsteps echo as you climb up the stairs in search of your Logan’s bedroom. Three sharp knocks on the door serve as a warning before you twist the knob open and walk into the spacious room.

“You know, it’s so unfair,” you call out, making sure to lock the door as you make your way to the bed. You pout before continuing, “Your room is so much bigger than mine.”

“Perks of being a sub,” the voice of your mutant boyfriend calls out from the private bathroom.

Fresh out of the shower, Logan’s hair drips onto his bare shoulders. Loose strands of hair fall on his forehead as he uses the towel thrown over his should to dry the rest of his hair. A pair of dark sweatpants hang low on his hips as the tangled drawstrings fight to keep the thin fabric from falling down.

Your eyes are glued on him as he makes his way to you, sitting on the edge of his bed. The familiar smell of his shampoo fills your nostrils, the scent only getting stronger when he stands between your split knees. A smile creeps on your face when his hand gently tilts your chin up to face his towering figure.

Rough hands find your cheeks. Logan’s thumb brushes over your bottom lip and taps it when your eyes find his. His eyes are soft then closing as he leans down to press an innocent kiss on your lips, a ritual hello.

“Hi, Princess.”

A smile creeps up your face as you mumble your hello back. You reach for another kiss, but Logan twists away from your hold, the hands that found themselves playing with the drawstrings of his sweats fall.

“Got a package,” he states, handing you a bulky box.

Embarrassment creeps up your skin as you stare at the box sealed with a bright pink label reading an itemized list. Big, bold vulgar words paired with your full name make you cringe. Nervous eyes then find Logan’s amused ones staring down at you.

“They said they had discrete packaging,” you whine with shaky hands raising the box to one of Logan’s fists.

The sound of his claw extending and retracting is sharp. In one blink, the pink tape seal is broken.

“Just be glad it was me who got the package. Could you imagine if Charles-”

You jerk your knee, hitting Logan’s before he can finish his sentence. He only quiets downs when he sees what’s inside the box. A clear double-orifice and spongy-like sleeve stares at Logan as you pull out three other items out of the box. A small bottle, no doubt some type of water-based lubricant, a black silicon ring, and bulky device with a mushroom head and long charging cord attached.

“They are supposed help,” you mumble shyly as you discard the box beside you.

Reflecting on your failed attempts at having sex with Logan you remember nails digging into his biceps, hissing his name, and begging him to stop when the tip of his cock tries to shove itself inside you. Trying hard to ignore the flashbacks of the burning sensation that lingers between your legs after Logan’s pulls away as he apologizes profosely.

Even when you tried again a couple weeks later, you remember Logan’s painful groans when your walls spasm and squeeze uncontrollably around the head of his cock.

Because of these past experiences, penetrative sex has never seem like an option, hence the purchase.

“What’s that?” The question falls past his lips before he can stop it. His eyes glued to the toy you have in your hand, the sleeve only slightly bigger than your fist.

Throwing the toy aside and making a mental note to clean them, you stand up and wrap your hands around his waist, fingertips tugging on his elastic waistband. Looking up at him with a smile, “I’ll show you tomorrow.”

Tomorrow never came.

Logan got called to a mission, so days turn into weeks and the unpackaged, washed toys sat untouched in his top drawer.

So that’s how you find yourself in the middle of Logan’s bed, breathing in his lingering scent.

Hugging his pillow to your chest, tangling your bare legs in his sheets. Your night shirt clings onto your body, nipples pebbling through the thin material. Your sleep shorts failing to cover your ass when you stretch your leg over Logan’s second pillow. You try your best your best to ignore the heat between your thighs and let sleep take you.

Even in your sleep your mind wanders back to the time Logan suggested to try something new, reassuring you that he wouldn’t hurt you. His firm hands manhandling you so your legs are thrown over his shoulders as he grind his cock over the thin material of your underwear.

Remembering the way he cursed your name and teased you for soaking through your panties. The soaked material clinging onto your lips allowing Logan’s leaking cock to rub against your clit. His arms that hold his weight caged you in, his forehead pressed against yours as you breathe out his name.

Recalling how you bit your lip to stifle your moans every time his cock bumped on your clit, lifting your hips to chase your orgasm. With his lips on yours, you cried against his mouth as you came, further soaking your panties. It wasn’t long after that Logan groan out your name and spilled onto your panties making them all sticky.

With a loud huff you blink your eyes open. Throwing the bedsheets off your sweaty body and gasping when you see a dark figure by the door that’s getting closed shut.

“Logan?”

“It’s me, Princess.”

Still sleepy, you stand on your knees, reaching your arms out for him. Instinctively, his legs carry him to you, hands grip your waist, and lips kiss yours.

His ritual kiss isn’t soft nor sweet. Instead it’s desperate and harsh, almost bruising.

Groaning into your mouth, his teeth find your bottom lip, demanding you to let him in before his tongue is exploring your mouth. One hand on your waist, the other is cradling your face pulling you impossibly closer to his frantic lips.

“Missed you so much ,” you almost whine between kisses. Tugging that the roots of his hair, his lips now trailing over your jaw.

He groans into your neck, inhaling your scent. His mind wanders back to the way his body missed you when he was gone. Waking up with an achy cock which led him to spitting onto his palm and kicking off the sheets. During his late nights, he painted the shower walls with the loud curse of your name.

“Missed you more.”

Pulling away, you laugh when Logan frowns. Bare feet hit the cold wood floors as they take you to Logan’s nightstand. His eyes fail at following your curious hands, instead they focus on the skin peeking from your booty shorts as you bend over.

The sight of you bent over, the thin cloth doing a half-ass job in covering your pussy, has him shamelessly readjusting himself in jeans. He wants nothing more than to tug your shorts to the side and lick you up. Distracted, he misses your request to lie down.

“What’s that, Princess?” He asks softly, eyes still glued to your ass.

This time you’re on your hands and knees, a wire in one hand as the other holds your weight as you look for an outlet. A blind hand repeatedly misses the outlet you swore was just there. Dropping the wire, angling your head to see the outlet before trying again.

“Can you lie down for me and close your eyes?” Your voice comes from under the bed as you finally find the outlet and plug in the toy you’ve been wanting to try for months.

Blood rushes to your head when you stand back up, a wand vibrator in one hand as the other one digs for more in Logan’s top drawer. Curious eyes watch you as Logan kicks off his boots, tugs his shirt and denim jeans off. Lying on the bed, his lashes kiss his cheeks as he waits patiently for you.

The bed dips as you kneel your way over to Logan’s body. The muscles in your inner thighs stretch as they widen to accommodate his thighs. Instinctively, Logan’s hand find your waist and with his precision, you’d think his eyes are open.

The mushroom-tipped device rests by Logan’s steady arms as you sit the stretchy ring on his rising chest. Lastly, you place the clear toy, the one you’re most excited for, next to the wand.

“Logan.”

He hums, his fingers run squeeze your waist, eyes still closed.

“Wanna try something.”

“We can try whatever you want, Princess.” He almost purs. Dark eyes flutter open and meet yours, filled with love and longing. He missed you.

You smile at his nickname for you, holding your weight with the hand on his chest before leaning down to kiss him. The kiss is sweet. Another ritual hello.

“Tell me if it’s too much.”

Fingers dig into the meat on your hips as you shift over his body and reach for the small bottle of lube on the nightstand. In no time, you’re back on his lap, tugging his underwear down, and smearing a drop of lube on the head of his semi-hard cock.

Wrapping your hand around his cock, smiling when you hear a soft sigh of your name. You stroke his cock, once then twice before you reach for the black ring resting on his chest.

Logan stares down at you, using his elbows to hold himself up. His stomach flexes as he watches you drag the stretchy, yet stiff ring over the base of his growing cock.

“Does that feel okay?” You ask softly, eyes glued to his glistening cock.

“Yeah,” he growls, hips shifting beneath you when you work your fist over the tip of his cock.

You can feel him grow in your fist, his cock throbs in your hold. Logan’s chest falls with each huff and moan of your name. His abs flex repeatedly as your hand works faster.

Sneakily, you grab the orifice next to Logan and position the toy above his cock. Eyes try to find his, but his head is thrown back as he groans and shifts beneath you.

Logan can only suck in a deep breath when the tip of cock is swallowed by the textured orifice. Logan’s moans only get louder at the tip of his cock peeks out the other end of the toy.

“You’re so hard.”

The praise goes straight to his cock as he shifts once more. His eyes rolled to the back of head. His desperate and grabby hands have now slipped under your sleeping shorts. His hands find your ass and squeeze.

Mesmerized, you watch as you repeatedly pump his cock, squelching sounds fill the room as Logan’s cock leaks uncontrollably.

“Feels so good.”

You giggle before shushing him softly, worried his volume would wake the others sleeping just down the hall.

“So tight.”

A pang of guilt hits your stomach but Logan’s lips are quick to find yours. His sharp nose bumps yours as the hairs on his face tickles you. The soft sounds of his lips kissing yours fills your ears, one of Logan’s calloused hands caress your face.

He smells like cigars, but you can still smell hints of wood.

His groans only get louder when you squeeze the toy around his cock. Your weight traps his flexing thighs, his constricted movements cause you to bounce in his lap. The image of you riding his cock flood Logan’s mind as his hip thrust to meet yours.

“Let me look at you,” he begs beneath you, lazily tugging at your shirt.

Slipping his cock out of the toy, you giggle when it slaps against his stomach, almost touching his belly button. Quickly, you slip out of your shirt, allowing for his hands to find your breasts. You sigh his name softly when he tugs harshly at your nipples. The act making them harden under his touch.

Distracted by your breasts, Logan pays no attention as you reach over him for the bulky device next to him. It isn’t until soft sounds of vibrations make him perk awake. You laugh at his face. Sweat builds on his hairline, his neck is flushed, and his lips are swollen.

Eyes fall down to his cock, the tip of his cock, angry and leaking. He stares at you as you let the bottle of lube dribble onto the mushroom head of the device. The white top glistens softly before the vibrating toy is pressed against the base of his cock.

“Fuck.”

The curse escapes past his lips before he can hold it. Hands massaging your breasts fall and wrap around your wrists. His grip stops yours from trailing the toy up to his leaking tip. Rather then fighting against his hold, you drag the toy down and press it against his balls.

The sound that escapes his lips has blood rushing to your cheeks and squirming on his lap. The squirming beneath you gets more frantic, almost as if he doesn’t know if he wants to run from or towards the vibrations. The black ring around the base of his cock strains slightly as his cock twitches again and again.

“I want-” his words are cut off by a moan when you shove the wand past his hands and onto his tip.

Claws threaten to peek out when you whine his name and call his cock pretty. The praise goes straight to his cock as he dribbles more precome onto the already shining wand. “I want you.”

Before you can ask him anything, firm hands find your waist and flips you over so he’s on top of you. Your legs wrap around his waist as your heart pounds. The wand buzzes next to you as your hands caress his face. Lips smash together as his hips down to grind against you.

Most purring into the kiss, you take in how hard his leaky cock feels against your pussy. Your sleep short do little to protect you, sticky with your slick. Nails scratch at his back, painting pink lines that fade in seconds. Desperate hands pull at your shorts as he presses soft, wet kisses on your jawline.

“Want you to feel good.”

“But you can’t go inside.” You fight back pathetically, still you help him tug off your shorts.

“Don’t need that.” He reassures softly as he takes control of the buzzing wand and presses it against your throbbing clit.

Squirming beneath him, your nails dig crescents into his shoulder blades. Your thighs threaten to shut, but his large body stops you. Gasping when Logan finds a glowing button and ups the vibrations. The cord attach to the bulky device brushes over your sensitive nipples making you whine.

Another click reaches your ears and the vibrations get stronger. Subconsciously, your hand, similar to Logan’s, reaches down to grip the device. You don’t know if its because you wanted to shut it off or push it away, but Logan doesn’t allow for either. Instead his words send a shiver down your spine.

“Move your hand.”

His tone makes your hands fall limp as you have no choice but to moan his name. With a fuzzy mind, you reach for the clear toy and slide it over Logan’s cock. His grip on the wand falters causing the vibrations to travel lower. The unmistakable feeling of fear fills you as your muscles tighten. Your thighs trap Logan’s hips as your body subconsciously fights to cover itself. Embarrassment then floods your body as you shy away from his touch, you hate when this happens.

“Sorry.”

Logan shushes you with a kiss and pressing the wand back on your clit, a vibrating distraction. With a shaky breath, you fuck Logan’s cock once more with the toy. The sounds of his wet cock sliding in and out of the toy makes you whine. Slowly, your body relaxes and takes in the pleasure.

Your hand works faster as you feel your orgasm built back up and approaching fast. Logan takes in how your chest rises with each breath, how your free hand reaches to massage your left breast, squeezing as you beg for more. Quick to satisfy for your needs, Logan’s mouth works on your breasts. Sucking your nipple and letting it go with a wet pop. He presses wet kisses on your breast before sucking on your other nipple. Teasingly, his teeth bite at your nipple, the final straw.

Your mouth falls open as you let out a silent gasp. Your thighs shake as you gush over all the mushroom tipped toy, and over Logan’s leaky cock. The wand doesn’t stop, instead it’s pressed harder against your sensitive clit.

“Come on, princess, one more.”

Your head shakes no as your hands reach to pull the wand away. Logan lets you, but the wand is replaced with his cock.

The clear orfice is long forgotten as Logan hooks your legs over his shoulders and slaps his cock against your pussy. The wet smacks make you whine his name, your body jolting at every slap.

“So wet, Princess,” he praises, nudging the head of his cock against your clit. “Soak my cock.”

Your hamstrings ache when he leans down to kiss you, your knees now touching your chest. The stretch makes you whine and Logan groans at the new sensation of your thighs hugging his cock paired with your pussy wetting the underside of his cock. His eyes roll back, rough hands squeeze your thighs, closing them tighter.

For the last time you cry out his name as your clench repeatedly around nothing and gush on Logan cock once more. Your sweet moans push him over the edge and suddenly he’s moaning your name just as loud. Fingertips dig into your thighs, no doubt bruising them, as his cock spills all over your stomach and leaks on your glistening pussy.

You watch with a smile as Logan comes down from his orgasm. Sore legs fall to wrap around his waist as he stands on his knees. The look of admiration covers his face as he stares down at you.

“Did you like it?” Suddenly shy, you avoid eye contact.

Your eyes fall to Logan’s cock, watching as he removes the cock ring with an overstimulated hiss. The wand is still next to you, buzzing softly before you reach to turn it off. He didn’t know about your purchase, he only found out about the toys because the discrete packing.

“Loved it, Princess,” he approves softly.

With a genuine smile, you finger taps your lips twice, beckoning him for a kiss. Never has he made you feel like your condition has turned him off. Instead, he has always been the one reassuring you that penetrative sex is not necessary in your relationship, but you wanted to work on it he’s more than happy to help.

“Come on I’ll run you a bath,” Logan says sweetly, staring at you confused when your jaw drops.

“Your room is way better than mine. Can’t believe you have a bathtub.”

Logan smiles, pulling you up to stand on your feet as your name figure almost skips to his bathroom. Wide eyes stare at the other spacious room as you mutter a small curse against Charles.

“Only way to fix that is if you move in with me.”

“Might take you up on that.”

Please please please reblog!!! Leave a comment! Or send something nice to my inbox. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this fic :) Plus it encourages me to keep writing!

[talesof-old]

lay me down | r.l., s.b., j.p., & l.e.

pairing(s): poly!marauders + lily x fem!reader

warning(s): 18+, smut, sexual and nonsexual intimacy, mentions of war, near death experiences, mentions of child abuse, mentions of scars, talk of death, using potions for pain management, fingering (f receiving), piv, talk of pregnancy, Lily’s pregnant ???, the human need to fuck after a traumatic event, this started as one thing and then took a really weird turn — ends abruptly bc i needed to finish this :/

word count: 8.3k

masterlist

war leaves none untouched

Your hands shook as you smoothed a dittany balm over James’ newest magic induced injury.

Tonight has been a close call. Too close.

Lily was still arguing with the others in the living room, voice pinched and pitchy, eyes lined with livid tears. You sighed, rubbing a hand over your face as if to will away the adrenaline. Things were getting worse.

“Hey,” James caught your other hand, his thumb tracing gentle patterns into your skin. You observed the action with glazed eyes. All you could see was the Death Eater, wand spouting an all too familiar green spark before you were tackling James away from its trail. There’d been so many of them.

So many trying to kill you these past few months it was going to eat you alive. They’d keep coming, and you’d keep fighting, even if it ended with you six feet under.

“We’re alright, sweets. Alive and whole.” You glanced up at his face. Earnest, and worried, with a crinkle between his brows that nearly had you reaching out to smooth it.

“You almost died.”

The words were a broken whisper as they left your lips. His eyes softened further, reaching to pull you into a solid embrace as Lily continued to rant on about recklessness and careless stupidity. Tears burned at your eyes so you squeezed them shut, burying your face in James’ neck.

“I know we made some terrible decisions, but we’re gonna live to see another day, yeah? Promise.” You huffed, responding with a shaky giggle.

“I don’t know, Remus and Sirius might not with the lashing Lily’s giving ‘em.”

He chuckled and squeezed you against him, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. You breathed in deeply with the hope of settling your frazzled nerves. James’ scent washed over you, a combination of his favorite cologne and sweat, lulling you into a place of safety you never wanted to leave.

“There you are.”

Lily’s frigid voice drew you away from James. He turned towards her, watching her with a sheepish apology written all over his face. Remus and Sirius ducked into the bedroom behind her, both wincing at her tone. You moved, leaving James and crossing over to the other two, taking stock of any potential injuries. Lily had done a little, though you knew she could’ve done more. Holding your tongue, you grabbed your first aid supplies, motioning for the boys to sit so you could heal their scrapes and cuts.

Sirius’ were minor, a scrape along his left arm and a cut on his right hand, plus a few bruises here and there. You kissed his forehead when you finished, moving on to your tallest partner.

Remus at least had the decency to wince when you started working on his worst injury, though part of that might’ve been his increased sensitivity with the approaching full moon. You gnawed on your inner cheek. His upper left thigh held a deep cut still oozing blood, the skin red and angry around the wound. You slipped into the bathroom, ignoring Lily and James as you passed by them, wetting a fresh rag and returning to clean the offensive gash.

You were used to this. Lily and you were the healers of the bunch, normally passing around the first aid kit like it was your calling, healing and cleaning as you went. Your mouth pressed into a tight line as you worked, a silent, wandless spell already closing up the majority of the injury. A dollop of dittany balm across the now much shallower cut worked like a charm, and soon all that remained was a pinkish scar.

Remus watched you as you went, cleaning any wound and healing it just as fast, goosebumps covering his skin. It took you a few moments to realize that the room had gone silent, and that all of them were looking at you expectantly.

You blinked, mouth twisting into a frown. Remus reached for your hand, a gentle grasp on your wrist as he guided you to the bed next to him.

“Are you alright?” The words were soft as they left him, warm, honey colored eyes seeming to stare into your soul. You drew in a sharp, shaky breath.

“I’m fine. Promise.” There was a weak smile plastered onto your lips that you were sure looked fake, but you couldn’t muster any energy to make it look real. Exhaustion gripped your very bones, and all you wanted to do was take a quick shower and go to sleep.

“You don’t have to pretend-“ Lily was the next to speak, though James was already shaking his head, eyes never leaving you. If there was one person in the room who could pick up on when to press an issue, it was him.

“Come here, sweets.” You finished packing the first aid kit, leaving it on the bed as James tugged you towards the bathroom, the shower already started. The mirror began to fog up, steam rising to the ceiling as you undressed. James followed suit.

You stepped into the shower; time seemed to slow down and speed up all at once. Water rushed over your sore limbs, working better than any spell to ease the tension between your shoulders. You sighed as James entered the shower behind you, warm hands coming up to caress your ribcage.

“‘M tired, James. Tired of having to fight all the time.” He smoothed his hands over your shoulders, simply letting you vent as he lathered up soap and a wash rag before handing it to you. You went silent again, cleaning the dirt and sweat off of your body. A panic had settled into your chest when the war started, and it seemed as though with each passing month, it coiled tighter and tighter around your heart.

“I know.” Those simple words were enough to break the dam you’d been keeping strong. A sob bubbled up from your throat and before you knew it you’d thrown your arms around James and shook in his grasp. He held you close, rocking you through every sob and hiccup as though he could somehow soothe away the fear.

“You’ve been so strong, sweets, let us take care of you.” You sniffed, thankful you were in the shower and not out in the bedroom, where everyone would’ve seen you crying. There was not a part of you that hadn’t held steady since everything went to shit. You’d been the one to comfort, the one to help, the voice of level reason. You haven’t stumbled once.

But the thought of losing James, or any of them?

You would never recover.

He pulled away from you, pressing a watery kiss to your forehead before washing himself. You stepped out from the water to let him rinse off, though your fingers twitched with the need to comfort yourself by touching him. A lopsided grin made its way to his face, though it was obvious to you that he couldn’t see a damn thing. Some part of you warmed at the fact that James couldn’t really see you with his glasses off. Your shower cap and snotty face was not exactly an image you wanted out there.

“I’m gonna go check on the others, okay? Gotta get some food together.” He pulled you towards the warm water again, his fingers running over the skin of your arms.

“Take your time. It’s okay to need support.” He pulled the curtain to the side just enough to pop out onto the bathroom mat and dry himself off. You could already imagine his messy black hair and comfy clothing. An ache settled in you that had you turning off the shower and reaching for a clean towel.

It didn’t take very long for you to get dressed, the lotion you used a birthday gift from Lily that you had taken to rationing for special occasions.

You felt like using it.

It reminded you of a certain redhead, of her signature floral and ink perfumes. You breathed in deeply, willing that ache away. It did you no good.

Instead, you let your mind wonder to other things, like the upcoming full moon. Just four days away, not even a week into December, but you knew Remus was having a hard time this month. He’d been jumpy, sensitive to touch, spent. You hoped that the potion you’d been working on would help, but all it seemed to do was dull the pain. That counted for something.

You didn’t have the energy to deal with your hair, choosing to pull it into a loose ponytail at the base of your neck to deal with tomorrow. James had been kind enough to grab some of your clothes; loose pajamas were slipped over your body and socks pulled into your feet and then you were leaving the safety of being alone. The door swung open soundlessly.

Sirius bounded past you, whatever he’d decided to say muffled as he shut the door and turned on the shower.

You sighed. Briefly, you wondered if this is how Remus felt every full moon: every bit a stranger in his own body, aching from head to toe with skin that felt much too tight. You shook your head, wrapping your arms around yourself and making your way into the kitchen.

Lily was a whirlwind, putting together a meal of omelettes. James dutifully obeyed each of her commands, but you saw the way they both faltered. They were just as weary as the rest of you. Guilt bubbled in your chest as you turned away, choosing to approach Remus instead. You gently pressed yourself into his side where he was practically laying on the kitchen island. He glanced down at you, eyes bleary but far too seeing for you to handle. You buried your face into his arm. The pressure of your face against his bicep was enough to distract you from the tears that threatened to fall once again.

He cooed, shifting your body until your face was pressed against his chest and a soothing hand ran up and down your back.

The clatter of a plate near you had you startling. James rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, though he made a gesture to the plate.

“Eat up. You need food ‘fore you go to bed.”

You huffed, but reached for the fork he offered you anyway. None of you had eaten since early this morning, and even then it was nothing but granola bars and juice. Merlin, one of you needed to go grocery shopping.

Remus watched you eat like a hawk, making sure you ate every bite. Warmth spread across your face. You’d gotten better about remembering to eat, but they hadn’t forgotten about the mission that nearly ended with you in a casket because you went dizzy.

Lily set a glass of juice down in front of you and paused, hesitancy written across her features. You deflated. “Lily-“

Then she was crushing you, arms wrapped tight around your shoulders as she pulled you from Remus’ side into her, body trembling. Today could’ve ended much differently. If you hadn’t been fast enough, it would’ve been James or you that died. You melted into her touch, her soft body melding into yours until you weren’t sure where you ended and she began.

“I’m sorry.” Almost unrecognizable in tone, and filled with unshed tears, you said the phrase that all five of you hardly ever uttered. There wasn’t much else you could say. You wouldn’t promise to never do it again. If it meant saving them, you’d do it a million times over.

“I love you.” The words made you tighten your grip, burying your face in her neck. She still needed a shower, but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. It was Lily: she had been there for you the moment you stepped onto the train to Hogwarts, and she’d be there for you until she drew her last breath.

“I love you too.”

She pulled herself from you, a hand coming up to caress your face. Her eyes searched yours for a moment, and when she seemed content with what she found, she went back to her cooking. Your heart ached at the distance, like a mournful puppy, and you slunk back to Remus’ side. He had no problems tucking you into his arms.

“Mine ready yet?” Sirius bounded in like a burst of energy, loud and eyes sharp. Remus scoffed and nuzzled his nose into your hair.

“Dunno, are you finally done with the bathroom?” Sirius smacked a hand against his chest in mock indignation, eyes opened wide with a teasing look of shock. You couldn’t help but smile.

“Are you suggesting I spend too long in the shower?” Remus shrugged, lips quirked up in a lazy smirk. Another plate was placed on the island and your now empty one was whisked away, James using magic to keep up with Lily’s demands. Comfortable silence settled, interrupted only by the clatter of pans and silverware.

You sipped on your juice while the others ate, and before long, James was waving a wand to clean and put away the dishes. He pulled you away from Remus, ignoring both of your half-hearted protests. His arms wrapped around your shoulders like a comforting blanket, slowly guiding you back towards one of the bedrooms.

You sighed against him.

With the shut of the door and a, “Sweets, let me take care of you,” James lead you to the bed and tugged on your oversized shirt. You shook your head. His grin turned teasing, his eyes sparkling in the artificial light coming from one of the few lamps still on.

“How dirty minded of you, I didn’t even mean it that way.” You shook your head and laughed, pulling off your trousers to just sleep in your shirt and pants. It didn’t take much for you to settle into bed, eyes closed and breath steady.

“Let me hold you?” Featherlight fingers traced over your bare thigh, but nothing could hide the uncertainty in James’ voice. You peaked over at him, his eyes on you even though his glasses sat on the edge of the bedside table. Something akin to grief tugged at your heart. It took a lot to truly shake up James—you couldn’t remember the last time he’d looked like this.

“James.”

That one word, just his name, was enough for everything to come spilling out. A tidal wave of emotion on an already broken shore. Tears pricked at your eyes again and you inwardly cringed, wondering if perhaps your period was nearly here because there was no other reason for you be crying like this.

“You almost died.” James’ words were spoken with enough intensity that it startled you. Sure, James was often passionate about a great many things, but the fire in his eyes burned differently this time. You knew why.

In just six months, you’d almost been killed on three separate occasions, and that was just you. The others had run ins of their own that nearly went south.

Pain twisted James’ pretty lips, his dark brown eyes as focused on you as they could be.

“You could’ve been killed! And it would’ve been my fault. I chose to follow after them, I put us in danger even after you begged me not-“

You cut him off with a kiss far harsher than you meant it to be. He startled at that, but was quick to use his arm to pull you against him, ruffling the sheets you were laid out on. He remained tense despite it, so you continued, kissing down his prickly chin and neck. He’d complain later when he had to shave.

“It wasn’t just your fault, James. I love you, and I don’t blame you for what happened. Were you the one pointing that wand?” You might’ve murmured the words against the skin of his collarbone, but you pulled away to look at his face once you finished speaking. A faint blush warmed his cheeks and neck, a pretty flush on his brown complexion.

You raised a brow. “Well?”

A shaky breath left his lips and he shook his head, fingers coming to play with the hem of your sleep shirt.

“I love you, James Potter. And I always want you around, ‘kay? You can hold me whenever you like.” He nodded, face even redder than before. You nearly giggled, choosing to instead bury your face in his neck and breathing in deeply. “Goodnight, Prongs.”

You woke up to complete darkness.

Well, not complete darkness, if the moonlight shining in through the curtains had anything to say about it. A sigh left you. At least you’d gotten a couple of hours of rest before your body decided being awake was preferable.

Faint snoring could be heard from the other side of the bed, quiet enough to let you know it was Lily. For a split second, you wondered if she’d let you finally run some tests tomorrow. She’d been complaining about sore breasts and nausea she attributed to a late period and stress, but you weren’t of the same belief. It’s not that you wanted her to be pregnant, you were all still so young, but it was bound to happen eventually.

Better her than you.

You cursed softly at the thought before slowly sitting up, careful not to wake up James or Lily as you eased off the mattress and padded across the hardwood floors. The door hinges were silent as you opened it, and then the door was clicking shut behind you, leaving you alone. You breathed in and out deeply.

Water was first on your list of things to acquire, and you settled into the couch with the glass in your hand and a blanket around you. Your books on different kinds of healing littered the living space (much to James and Lily’s dismay), but you almost always knew exactly where each was. You rolled your shoulders.

The minutes ticked by, your books illuminated by your wand as you studied. It wasn’t unusual to find you hunched over a book, eyes scanning every inch of the page to ensure you remembered the information spread out in front of you. The chapter you were currently reading was about the mental effects of certain spells, and it was engrossing enough that you missed the creak of a door opening down the hall.

“You’re up late.” You jumped, your own hand slapping over your mouth to muffle your yelp. Your heart ached in your chest as adrenaline rushed through your veins. Remus chuckled quietly and settled onto the couch next to you. He stretched, wincing as his bones popped before falling limp on the cushions. You bite at your lip before placing your book on the coffee table, choosing to instead shift closer to him. He let you, honey colored eyes framed by dark circles watching your every move.

“Why’re you up, hm?” You gently laid your head on his shoulder, your entire body pressed to his. He let out a tired sigh, letting his head fall to rest on yours. Every inch of him was rigid, like one wrong move and his bones would snap. You reached over to trace circles along his bare legs, his boxer briefs riding up just enough for you to stroke the edge of a particularly brutal scar on his upper thigh. His muscles flexed underneath your hand.

“James didn’t fucking give me time t’see if you were alright.” There was no animosity coloring his tone, just bitter resignation that had you humming, fingers still tracing over his scars. You understood James’ need to confess his guilt, but you didn’t even utter a word to Sirius before you fell asleep. You ran your tongue across the back of your teeth.

“Are you alright? And Sirius?” Remus nuzzled into your head, the action similar enough to a dog you would’ve normally laughed.

“Jus’ tired.” You nodded, hand coming to a standstill on his leg. Remus shifted, not bothering to hide the pained gasp that built in his throat. You pulled away from him, ignoring his whine, and were already crossing the room when he rasped, “What are you doing?”

You opened the potions cabinet, pulling out the last vial from your tester batch. A hopefully potent pain relief you’d been formulating for months. It glittered in your wand’s light, a beautiful shimmering pale blue. You’d originally tried to make a potion to help Remus’ transformations, but when that hadn’t worked, you’d turned to managing symptoms instead. This was basically meant to be a cure all, and a dropper full allowed you to go without pain for a full 24 hours with no side effects.

“My next batch will be ready to decant tomorrow, so I’m making you take this tonight.” Remus nodded, though you weren’t even sure he’d attempt to argue. It didn’t take away the unsteadiness brought about by the full moon, or the discomfort, but the pain was the worst part so you’d do what you could. You handed over the vial, settling down next to him once again. He pretended not to grimace as he popped the lid off of the glass bottle. The smell of bitter greens wafted towards you but you managed to keep a straight face.

Remus brought the bottle to his lips and tipped it back, nearly gagging at the less than agreeable taste. You patted his shoulder. He discarded the bottle and pulled you back against him, arms wrapped around your upper body. One of his hands rested directly above your heart, thumping beneath his palm like a steady drum. His muscles relaxed as the potion began to work its magic.

“Can’t believe you f’cking did that, ya know? Think I nearly had a damn heart attack when I saw that bloody spell almost hit ya.” His thumb ran over the hem of your shirt, edging over your collarbone. You took his moment of silence as a chance to study him. Messy curly hair that had grown just a tad bit longer than he liked, softer waves turning into tighter ringlets the longer he let it get. A newer scar on his cheekbone to add to the few that spanned across his face. It was only when you met his gaze that you knew he was studying you just the same.

“‘M glad you’re alive, dove.” Affection bled into his words, a far more frequent occurrence as of late. You smiled softly.

“Me too.”

The moon slowly moved across the sky, but the two of you stayed sitting on the couch, wrapped up in the comfort of simply being next to each other. By the time you glanced at the clock, it read a simple 3:48am.

You groaned, choosing to instead move your body to straddle Remus, burying your face in his neck. He breathed a laugh, a large hand coming up to rest on your lower back as you got comfortable. You shimmied closer, ignoring his groan because you knew it had nothing to do with the moon. The potion had been working for nearly two hours now.

“We should go to bed.” He nodded sagely at your statement, though his fingers dug into your skin, pushing you down until your clothed cunt made contact with his half hard erection. Involuntarily, your hips rolled. He hissed. You smiled against his skin, arms wrapped around his torso as you pressed as close to him as possible. He let you, the sensitivity brought on by the moon turning him into something that craved intimacy and softness more than anything. Due to your and Lily’s curves, it wasn’t uncommon for Remus to hold either one of you close, basking in the comfort that you offered.

The week leading up the full moon normally saw an uptick to Remus’ sex drive, but two days before, he’d crash, needing nonsexual physical support instead. Any of you would jump through fire to make sure he got what he needed.

“Want you t’let me fuck you.” His soft voice hit your ears, breathy and hoarse with want. You rolled your hips again, cheek pressed to his collarbone.

“You sure?” He hummed, fingers coming to grip your hips. Nights like this made for lazy sex, nothing frantic or quick like what you’d often found yourself doing at school. You drew away from his chest, face to face. His eyes were half lidded, focused on your movements as though he already knew what you’d say.

You lifted a hand and carded your fingers through his hair. His eyes fluttered shut as you did so, and you wasted no time in moving in to press your lips to his. His fingers tightened against your skin, the fabric of your sleep shirt bunched in his palms. You smiled against his mouth. Remus sighed against you, melting into your touch as you trailed your fingers from the back of his head down his chest, all the way down until your fingers came to the hem of his t-shirt.

“Take this off f’me?” He was quick to oblige. You couldn’t help the girlish giggle that left your lips at his hasty attempt to remove his shirt. You’d had feelings for Remus the longest out of any of your partners, an innocent schoolgirl crush turned deep infatuation. Now, he called himself one of your husbands, and it sent your heart fluttering. He tossed his shirt onto the floor, not caring where it landed. Your eyes honed in on the small chub of his belly from his slouched position, the scars that lined his torso. He nearly jumped out of his skin when your fingers grazed over his happy trail, a soft groan falling from his mouth.

It took you just a few moments to discard your own shirt, your breasts exposed to the chilly air since you’d forgone wearing a bra to sleep. None of your partners ever made you feel anything less than beautiful, and right now was no exception. Remus’ pupils had blown wide, nearly drowning out their beautiful amber colour, dark with desire as he took in your heavy tits. You’d often complain to Lily about back pain from your larger breasts, and while Remus would never want you hurting, he loved the mounds on your chest more than anything. One of his hands came up to your breast, thumb flicking over your right nipple. Your breath hitched and you pressed further into him.

None of you had had the chance to actually be intimate in the past three weeks. Between missions, brewing potions, and healing people, there was simply no time. Exhaustion had sunk its claws deep into each of you, and none had a chance to escape it.

“Always so pretty f’me, dove, always s’perfect.” Remus’ other hand, the one not preoccupied with your breasts, splayed across your lower back, almost as low as your arse. You arched into him, trapping his hand between each of your chests, though you weren’t sure he minded. He let you grind against him, the two of you in nothing but your undergarments. You ran your hands over his back, his shoulders, his arms, anywhere you could reach, simply wanting to feel him.

Heat pooled in between your thighs, pulsing in time with your heart. Remus looked similarly affected.

“Come ‘ere.” He lifted you off of his lap, ignoring your pout, and began to pull down your panties. They were old, a ratty pair you’d normally wear on your period, but you didn’t care. They’d end up on the floor anyway. You moved your legs to pull them off and deposited them by the foot of the couch, Remus doing the same. His dick slapped against his abdomen, the same brown shade of his skin, though the tip was flushed a deep reddish shade that had your mouth watering.

Remus’ fingers gripped your chin before you could move towards it. Something sparked in his eyes.

“‘M gonna ‘ave to prep you first, dove.” You let your head fall to the side as if disappointed, but Remus was skilled with both his wicked tongue and long fingers. You squirmed and clenched your thighs, desperate for some kind of friction that you were currently deprived of.

He smirked, drawing you to him, lips soft against yours. He cupped your neck and jaw, thumb running atop your cheekbone. You were quick to run your tongue along the seam of his mouth. He parted his lips ever slightly, teasing you as if he believed you’d force them apart. Instead, you drew back your tongue and simply deepened the kiss, forgoing any need to breathe. Remus was all you wanted to know, all you wanted to think about.

He moved, lips trailing from the edge of yours down your jaw, coming to suck on the sweet spot at the junction of your collarbone and neck. Your head fell, baring more of your throat to him. He sucked and nipped as he pleased, and it was only when you were trembling beside him did he gently guide your thighs apart. You shivered in anticipation. Rough fingertips caressed the tender skin of your inner thighs, wandering higher and higher until they were right where you wanted them. You nearly keened as Remus ran his fingers over your lower lips, spreading them apart to thumb at your clit.

“Quiet.”

He chuckled at your near silent whine and buck of your hips, urging him to do something other than tease you. He traced along your slit before dipping just the tip of his middle finger into you, testing your wetness. You hummed, rocking onto it, taking him deeper. He tutted softly, palm grinding against your clit, the roughness enough to send little jolts of pleasure through your body.

It didn’t take long for you to take the entirety of his finger, body jerking as he added his ring finger. He curled his fingers, a quiet, broken moan leaving your lips. He chuckled against your skin. Remus let you ride his fingers, scissoring and curling them expertly until his fingertips grazed some spongy spot inside of you. A strangled gasp echoed through the dark room.

Something tightened in your abdomen, your walls fluttering around Remus’ fingers. He grinned, thumb swiping over your clit in a much more targeted manner. Your hips rolled uncontrollably. Remus kept up with the circling of your bundle of nerves, every inch of your body taut as the coil went tight. He smirked as you gripped his hair and pulled him over to you, a clash of lips and tongue as your orgasm washed over you. Your legs tightened around his arm as you ride out the waves of your orgasm, thighs slick with cum by the time it’s over.

Remus withdrew his fingers with a squelch, immediately sticking them in his mouth and licking them clean. You whined, pussy clenching on nothing as he rearranged himself, turning to sit with his back pressed against the armrest of the couch, the cushions to his left. Your grin was hazy with lust and sleep, but you straddled him all the same.

He gave his dick a few pumps, precum spread along the shaft to help ease any pain. Your eyes hungrily took in the way his fingers looked wrapped around his pretty cock. His hands shook as he aligned himself with your opening.

You whined with sensitivity as he gently guided you into his dick, the head prodding at your entrance. You slowly sink down, pausing every few moments to accommodate the girth of him. Remus’ dick was longer than the others, and fairly large all things considered. It took you ages to get used to the feeling. Your pussy stretched, stuffed full as you rocked your hips to ease any uncomfortable sensation.

Remus hissed as you did so, shallowly thrusting to help you along. Soon enough, you’d taken him completely, bodies flush to each other. You clenched hard around him, relishing in the throaty moan that fell from his lips. His hands palmed at your arse, urging you to still as he gathered himself. You tilted your head forward, forehead pressed against his, noses touching. He tightened his grip on you, arms coming to twine around your waist. The closeness had your heart aching.

A few moments passed before you gave an experimental roll of your hips, Remus responding with a sharp thrust. The two of you found a rhythm, grinding and thrusting against one another in an almost lazy manner, relishing in each other’s touch. Heat spread through your entire body, turning your limbs soft and your mind fuzzy. You pressed another kiss to his lips.

Remus adjusted his arms, letting one of his hands come down to your pussy and swiping across your clit. You shivered against him. Pleasure snaked up your spine as he circled your sensitive clit, his body responding in kind. With every thrust, his balls tightened and throbbed, urging him to spill inside of you. You clenched around him again.

“Fuck, fuck-“

Broken groans and gasps muffled only by locked lips filled the space, along with Remus’ murmurs. You let your head fall to his shoulder, the vibrations of his voice lulling you closer to your orgasm.

“S’good f’me, s’pretty, so tight.” He was babbling, his last word punctuated by a sharp thrust, hitting a spot inside of you that had you seeing stars. You moaned, thighs trembling as something deep inside you knotted and tightened. His thrusts turned sloppy and frantic. You rolled your hips in time with his movements, every swipe across your clit sending you hurtling towards an edge.

Remus’ dick throbbed inside of you, and then you were in free fall, gasping and moaning as your pussy clenched like a vice around him. He grunted, following you in climax. He coated your inner walls, still rocking against you as you both came back down to earth.

You shook, falling limp in his lap. He chuckled wearily, both of you hissing as he slid out, pliable in his arms as he nuzzled into your breasts.

“Moony?”

In your chase of pleasure, the two of you didn’t hear the opening and closing of a bedroom door, nor the padding of bare feet on hardwood floors. You nearly jumped out of Remus’ lap in surprise, your head whipping around to face Sirius. He stood in the entrance to the hallway with messy hair and an amused expression. You settled into Remus’ arms again.

“And what do you two think you’re doing?” You huffed, reaching out a hand and making grabby motions towards your husband. He smiled widely, quiet as he crossed the room and settled beside you. His gray eyes swept over your naked bodies, at the wetness that coated each of your thighs and the glow of your faces.

“Could’ve asked me to join.” The words came out petulant, and if it wasn’t 4am you’d be laughing loudly. You hummed.

“You could join us now?” Sleep lined his face, though it was rapidly leaving as the seconds ticked by and you both remained unclothed next to him. Sirius sighed dramatically before shifting his body to curl up next to the two of you. Remus remained quiet, his thumb tracing circles on your left hip.

“Dunno if ‘m up for it…” You buried your fingers in Remus’ brown hair, peppering kissing along his cheeks and forehead. He scrunched his nose at the affection, though his eyes bled a warmth you knew meant he enjoyed it. Sirius halfheartedly pouted next to you. You tugged on the hair at the nape of Remus’ neck, lips trailing down from his jaw to his bobbing Adam’s apple, ignoring the way Sirius squirmed beside you. Remus panted as you continued your ministrations, skin decorated in a mosaic of rapidly reddening skin.

“Nope, enough. My turn.” Sirius all but dragged you away from his lap, tugging you into him like a child would his favorite toy. You rolled your eyes. He nuzzled into your hair, which by now had turned into a haphazard mess from sleeping and sex.

“I’m glad you’re alive, darling.” You nodded against him, sleep pulling at you more harshly than before. You yawned, choosing instead to burrow into his chest and close your eyes. Sirius ran a hand up and down your back—a soothing tactic he’d learned from Remus.

“Tomorrow?” He murmured against your temple. You snuggled closer to him and hummed, blindly reaching out to grab ahold of Remus’ hand. Warm fingers intertwined with yours and you sighed contently, finally letting your body sleep again.

At some point during the early hours of the morning, one of the boys had wrapped you up in a blanket and moved you to lay down. Sirius curled his long body around yours, one arm draped around your waist to hold you in place. Soft voices rose from the kitchen, leaving you groaning as it pulled you from dreamless oblivion.

“Morning, love.” Gentle fingers grazed over your hair, tucking it behind your ear. You preened at Lily’s soft touch. She giggled quietly. James whispered something to Remus, to which the taller man elbowed him in the ribs. He yelped, huffing laughter filling the room. Sirius groaned, tightening his grip on you and forcing you back into the warm cocoon he’d created for you. Lily clicked her tongue.

“Here.”

She offered one of the longer pillows on the floor and the two of you maneuvered it to replace your body. You grimaced at the state of your body. Neither you nor Remus cleaned up afterwards, leaving your thighs a now crusty mess.

Lily laughed, tossing you your shirt as she sauntered into the kitchen. You padded towards them, all too aware of your bare lower half. Remus smirked at your shyness and ran a finger along the bare skin of your arm, shivers following in its wake.

“So what time do you want to leave?” You glanced at the clock. 11:28am.

By now, the sun had well risen, which meant you’d probably see at least one or two other people at the potions ‘lab’. It truly wasn’t even a lab, originally starting out as a storage room at Headquarters.

“Uh,” you scrunched up your nose. “Give me thirty minutes?”

You didn’t leave until an hour later, Sirius still asleep on the couch and the other two pouring over defensive spells to practice. Lily clasped your hand as the two of you apparated away.

The ground disappeared from under you and suddenly reappeared, shiny hardwood floors replaced with dingy old ones. Lily stumbled a little beside you. You eyed her, her pale face twisted from nausea and tinged a faint green.

“Lily, I actually wanted to ask you something.” Her eyes were wide as she turned to you, though you were already moving across the room and offering her a rubbish bin. She took it, a grateful and sheepish expression on her face, as though she wasn’t sure if she would end up puking or not. Candles lined the space, adding additional light to the small window. You breathed a sigh of relief. The two of you were safe here, and potions were something you understood better than any other.

The walls were lined with used and unused bottles, ingredients in large glass jars, and bubbling cauldrons. Vapor from the potions spilled out along the floor, seeming to wrap around the legs of the tables before dissipating. You hummed as you looked from the potion of pain relief you’d been brewing.

The sound of gagging drew your eyes to Lily, and just a few moments later, she was vomiting into the container. Her eyes watered as she chucked up her breakfast, grimacing at the acidic feeling in her throat. You offered a look of sympathy and a little bag you'd packed just in case something like this happened.

“It’s so gross.”

You can’t help but snort at her dejected words, intentionally ignore her pointed glare.

“Take this.” After pressing a vial into her palm (a stomach soother that had been used by pregnant witches for ages), you begin to gather up all the supplies you’ll need to perform a pregnancy test. You wanted to get this done privately, without the boys hounding you or anyone else noticing.

Lily frowned as you closed and locked the door, motioning for her to take a seat at the large table you’d set up everything on.

“So I have a feeling,” you’d have to broach the topic carefully. A child, in times like these? You were losing a magical war because the Order of the Phoenix refused to fight dirty—not that you would ever say that aloud. But to bring a baby into the world with no certainty that you’d be alive to see them grow? Lily had once mentioned to you that she did want kids. That she’d wanted to be a mother.

You didn’t necessarily share the same sentiment, though you knew the risks of unprotected sex just the same as anyone else. Luck has been on your side up until now.

“I think you’re pregnant.” Time stopped.

Lily’s lips parted and she seemed to be frozen, though the frantic look in her eyes was enough to tell you she hadn’t. You reached across the wooden surface of the table and grabbed her hand, squeezing her fingers. She squeezed back, green eyes glazed.

Her cheeks flushed and you moved around the table to sit beside her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder.

“Are you sure? It could just be stress-“

You raised a brow, motioning to the items before you. There was a chance it was simply a scare. It couldn’t hurt to test it, though the implications threatened to make your heart explode.

“What if…” Her voice was thick with something you couldn’t place.

“It doesn’t matter. It could be a scare, but even if it isn’t, we’ve got time to figure it out.”

Her messy braid bobbed as she nodded, though her face remained dazed. You sighed, running a finger along the shape of her arm. Goosebumps followed your finger but Lily ignored it. With most situations, she’d shake off how she felt and put on a brave face, but a baby was throwing her off more than she must’ve been prepared for.

“Let’s just see, yeah?”

Lily grimaced in discomfort as the two of you apparated back home, trembling with nervous energy. Her free hand and fingers were constantly flexing beside her, eyes still as glazed as they were several hours ago. The only difference now was the way her hand would occasionally drift to her belly, then drop back down as though she was afraid it somehow wasn’t real. You squeezed the hand you were holding, tugging her into you and wrapping your other arm around her shoulders.

“Lils, I’m gonna need you to calm down, yeah? Everything is gonna be fine.” She huffed, but all you could do was grin. Anything was better than the state of shock she’d seemingly gone into. Maybe if you hadn’t been so caught up in the woman before you, you’d have noticed the morose atmosphere of the place you called home.

She squeezed you tighter.

“You promise?” A breath of laughter escaped you before you responded with, “Of course.”

You broke apart, light finally entering her eyes again. A gentle, happy smile crossed her lips. There was movement in another room, but you paid it no mind as you crossed the living room floor, the potion bottles in your bag clinking together. Following a positive pregnancy test, you’d spent much of your time decanting multiple potions while Lily began to brew new ones. She didn’t seem to mind whenever you checked over her work to make sure she did it right.

“James?”

You heard muffled voices down the hall, but it was the lack of response that had you pausing and drawing your wand. Lily did the same.

The two of you pressed forward through the house, apprehension coiling in your gut. Had someone found you all? Were the boys alright? Were they hurt?

You rounded the hallway, entering the only lit bedroom with a resigned face. If they were hurt, or god forbid, dead, what were you going to do? The thought was pushed away as soon as it entered your mind. No, they weren’t dead.

It was the sob that alerted you to something wrong, something that perhaps didn’t involve Death Eaters torturing your husbands. The door swung open to reveal a blotchy faced Sirius, still devastatingly beautiful with his watery grey eyes. James knelt beside him, rubbing a comforting hand on his thigh as Remus half-held him.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

James opened his mouth as if to speak, but was cut off by both Sirius’ glare and voice.

“I’m fine.”

You sighed, pocketing your wand and shooing the boys away. Lily fidgeted, unstable in the emotional whiplash of the last twenty-four hours, and you grabbed James’ arm.

“Lily wants to make a cake. Help her?” He nodded, sending one last distraught look towards his husband before exiting the room with Remus and Lily in tow. You turned back to the raven haired man.

“I thought we promised not to lie to each other anymore.”

He ran a hand over his face, wiping away the tears that streaked down his cheeks. Something lit up in his eyes. A fire you knew well, too well, perhaps. You raised a brow at the anger that rose up within him.

“You weren’t here. Do you have any idea what it was like to wake up after last night and see that you were gone?” Your eyes softened and you moved to sit next to him. He flinched away from you. “I thought I’d made up the whole thing, thought maybe you’d actually died and I had fooled myself into thinking you were real.”

“‘M right here, Siri. I’m alive, and breathing.” He shook his head, shaggy curls frantically moving as he did so. Each of you deserved better than this, you thought. None of it was fair.

“You almost weren’t.” You nodded. Nothing you could say would change the fact that you jumped into harm’s way to protect James. You’d do it again in a heartbeat, though you knew for a fact they would hate to hear that. Sirius picked at the skin by his nails, prying at already inflamed and tender skin.

“Love,” you wrapped a hand over Sirius’ trembling fingers. His expression continued to flash between anger and distress, tears lining his eyes. He kept his gaze on your joined hands. Pots and pans were clinking in the kitchen, punctuated occasionally by Remus’ soft laughter. You glanced out the open door.

“You can be as angry as you want with me, but you’re not allowed to push me away.”

He leaned his head back, swallowing hard. Silence stretched. You let it, focusing on the steady drum on your heartbeat and breath. Sirius fell into your breathing pattern.

With a low, hoarse whisper, Sirius turned to you. “I can’t lose any of you.”

You sighed, opening your arms and drawing him close. He pressed his face into your neck, cold nose pressing against your warm skin. You hummed and threaded your fingers through his hair.

“I promise to do what I can to keep myself alive.”

As you attempted to move, he gripped onto your coat, fingers tight on the dark wool blend. It proved a struggle to get up with him latched onto you, but you managed. The two of you shuffled down the hall towards the kitchen. Remus had pushed James away in favor of helping Lily mix up the ingredients, bumping hips every few minutes and exchanging soft smiles. James pouted off to the side, likely exiled due to his overeager attitude towards anything kitchen related.

Nearly all the prep work had been done already, and you shared a knowing look with Lily. Leftovers from the day before would be eaten tonight, finished off with a cake you’d decorate to let the boys know they’d be fathers. Lily seemed infatuated with the idea, and after convincing you she insisted on using blue frosting in the middle. You sighed against Sirius, leaning into his body. The great thing about magic was you were able to see what the sex of the baby was far earlier. Lily’s gasp and subsequent teary eyes had you agreeing to just about anything.

You discarded your coat along with your bag of potion vials, gently tossing it over the side of James’ favorite armchair, shuffling next to the man. Sirius remained by you, clinging to your form. James wrapped an arm over your shoulders, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. You buried your face into his chest. The three of you stayed there, wrapped up in each other, as Remus and Lily finished stirring the box cake mixture and poured it into the pan. Remus dropped it gently back into the counter, hoping to remove any bubbles. The oven’s soft beep let you know that it was ready. Your heart turned gooey warm and soft at the sight of Remus putting the cake into the oven and turning to wrap his arms around Lily.

“Heat up the food, would you?” Lily directed the request towards your trio, settling into Remus’ warmth. Sirius huffed beside you. He complied with little complaints, exhausted from the day he’d had. You melted further into James’ side.

Dinner was a quiet affair.

The lot of you spent most of your time actually enjoying the food you’d previously rushed through eating, comfortable silence broken only by the quiet noise coming from the radio. At some point, Remus got up to take the cake out of the oven, setting it on a hot pad to cool.

You glanced at Lily as James asked, “How were the potions?”

She paused, taking a sip of water as her green eyes flickered between the both of you. You sighed.

“It was fine. I got my next batch of pain killers bottled.” James nodded along. Sirius narrowed his eyes at Lily before looking at you expectantly. You shrugged, choosing to get up to check on the cake. You patted Remus’ shoulder as you went. “Anyone fancy a cuppa?”

[vamptarot]

Yes or No? | PAC

pile one pile two pile three

pile four pile five pile six

pile seven pile eight pile nine

how to choose a pile . . . choose whichever you feel drawn to or ask your guides to guide your eyes to the one that is meant for you! ᡣ𐭩

— ⭑.ᐟ please keep in mind that this is a short pick a card, and that’s exactly why there is so much options! 🫶🏻 not proof read.

pile one : - blue ‘n beige

𐙚 : nine of swords, page of wands reversed, the chariot reversed

bottom of deck: wheel of fortune.

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

No, and I can see this hurting for most people reading this pile. Some more than others.

♡ ⢷Why?

Simply just not meant for you, it’s not something that is supposed to be in your life. Some of you are asking about a person or career opportunity, and even in that case the answer is still no. There are better things awaiting you, don’t give yourself up to things that serve you no right.

— ✮⋆˙ pink glittery eyeshadow , 2020 trends , night time , heart break , someone here is in love with a taurus man/masc woman , DD , 555 , j-hiphop , space buns , experimental hairstyles

I know hearing no can hurt sometimes and some of you might even wanna hate on me for it but I’d rather keep it real with you than to lie right into your face. I truly hope that regardless of the outcome, you will be happy. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile two : - japanese umbrellas !

𐙚 : ten of wands, ten of swords reversed, knight of wands bottom of the deck: two of cups reversed

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

This is entirely up to you. It can be a yes, and a no. It’s in your control.

♡ ⢷Why?

This isn’t something grand that you can’t pull yourself out of without the help of other people. You can, and you will. You just need to be persistent with it. No one controls your life but you, even if you might view it otherwise at times.

— ✮⋆˙ heart shaped keys, 10 of hearts / wands (?) , the nightmare before Christmas , ‘one, two, three, four, five.. I once ate a b!tch alive ‘ (????) , someone here is into horror genre (specifically mangas) , small business , gg stan , gee - girls’ generation , pink bows & laces

anxiety sucks, but so is wondering ‘what if I have done that?’, personally, that’s my advice for you. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile three : - rose-heart matcha !

𐙚 : five of wands, page of cups

bottom of the deck: eight of swords

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

A very strong no.

♡ ⢷Why?

You know this would create fights as well. I know it, and you do too. It’s not something that is meant for you. It sounds good now, but it would change your life and you would regret.

— ✮⋆˙ alt style , léon: the professional , france , age gaps , mental health issues - yes, yours - , tenten , owls , howl’s moving castle , teddy bears , a golden ring with a red gem ,(fake/self made/professional ect) tattoos , mascara running down your cheeks while crying , crying bathroom selfies , short blue hair

I know life is hard and it sucks sometimes but I believe in you even at times you do not. You can make better choices than this, and I believe that you will do so too. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile four : - flowers !

𐙚 : ten of pentacles, the lovers

bottom of the deck: knight of pentacles

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

Heck yeah! Yes. Strong yes. If this is an opportunity, go for it. If it’s a ‘what if’ question this is such a huge yes for you bby.

♡ ⢷Why?

Most of you asking this will ask about love.. the person is just head over heels for you!!! If this is a job opportunity please know that you have such a phenomenal and extraordinary talent, it’s so cool.

— ✮⋆˙ blond(e) , dyed hair , pink hello kitty nails - with charms for some of you - , cutesy style , shorter side height wise , crushes , led lights , subway - the sandwhich chain - , neck massages / rubs , jelly balls - food.. - , modern family , violin , glasses , tom boy

your energy is soo cute and excited!! thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile five : - glasses !

𐙚 : king of swords, king of cups, ace of pentacles

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

Yes!! A strong yes.

♡ ⢷Why?

You have got all the strength that takes to do this.

— ✮⋆˙ melancholic vibes , (dark) blue walls , glittery things , crying statues , images mother mary , hatsune miku , pretty wigs (smooth/silky ones.. like the pretty ones from china) , devil , white eyes , work opportunities , changes , accepting new challenges , feeling of anxiety , cowboy hats

I know you are anxious, and that’s valid. Everybody feels fear, but you got this. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile six : - birds

𐙚 : death , nine of cups reversed , the hierophant , ace of cups

bottom of the deck: four of wands

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

Yes. A sad yes.

♡ ⢷Why?

It’s for the better, you are worth more than this. This is the only thing your guides are saying.

— ✮⋆˙ dreaming of living near the sea in Italy , luca - the disney movie , the lion king - fondness for nuka specifically , pale skin & brown hair & greenish blue eyes , nightmares of monsters / the devil , the villian guy from princess & the frog , uncanny valley , dabi from mha , fondness for the unaccepted ones

please remember that being disappointed is better than being heartbroken. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile seven : - lunch !

𐙚 : two of swords reversed, the hermit reversed

bottom of the deck: six of swords

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

No, but you can definitely change this. Just don’t let opportunities slip out from under your hand.

♡ ⢷Why?

Put yourself out there more. You are introverted to the point it’s harming your health, both mentally and otherwise.

— ✮⋆˙ ‘hello sweetie with the long face’ , fanfics , boredom , white nails - frenchies most likely - , if you seek amy - britney spears , kali uchis , sasuke uchiha (king) , strawberries & pies , jungwon biased 🫵🏻 , ‘standing on business’ , 3D - JK

I would bet good stickers on the fact that most of y’all asked about your future spouse. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile eight : - window !!

𐙚 : five of wands, temperance reversed, the lovers

bottom of the deck: the chariot reversed

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

Sorry but no.

♡ ⢷Why?

You genuinely need to love yourself a little more. You are constantly at war with yourself and you are losing. Love yourself enough to win.

— ✮⋆˙ cherubs , chubby cheeks , crooked nose , red glasses , fuzzy socks / pjs , black kittens , new earrings / piercings , bunnies , honey & peaches & cream - food!!!! get your mind our of the gutter - , 10/10 , braces , itchy eyes , fake lashes , cracking bones - spine and knuckles -

I know it sucks to hear ‘love yourself more’ bc it’s annoying but this was not said with bad intentions. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

pile nine : - rose water

𐙚 : Two of Cups reversed, Seven of Swords

bottom of the deck: four of pentacles

♡ ⢷Yes or No?

A very gentle no.

♡ ⢷Why?

It’s just a much more scary / bothersome path than what you would think so. You are very trusting and have a too forgiving heart. Some people can just unfortunately take advantage of that.

— ✮⋆˙ under 18 🫵🏻 , acting , theatre , wanting to be in spotlight but being unsure about it , asking about crushes , having a favourite teddy / plush , bridgit mendler , tiktok , kesha , early 00s / early 10s , big doe / dolly eyes , big bang theory

I just wanna say that the spirit guides for this pile are so motherly 😞 this is my first time having a pile that consists of kiddos and adults all connected to their innerchild !! the energy here is so warm and nice 💓 I of course mean this from a good place of heart, it reminded me of a childhood home sort of feeling. thank you for reading.

if you liked my reading please consider checking out my paid readings! there is barely any topic I will say no to and with every penny you are helping me!

[hirukochan]

Stood-up

A Severus Snape x fem!reader Oneshot

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Pairing: Severus Snape x former student reader

Summary: Your former professor saves you from embarrassment when your blind date doesn't show up to the fancy restaurant you were meant to meet at.

Warnings: Smut, Loss of virginity, virgin reader

Wordcount: 5007

Read on Ao3 or below the cut

You did not expect life after Hogwarts to be…this. Whatever this is. Boring. That much is certain. You finished school five years ago with good grades and that was it. You celebrated your graduation with your friends who were already gushing about their future careers and their dream jobs, and you had nothing to offer to the conversation. You didn’t know what you wanted to do after school. And five years later you still don’t know.

You wanted to move out of your parents’ house and so you went to interviews for any job you thought yourself decently qualified for. You ended up working in a depressing little second hand bookshop in Diagon Alley. The owner, some rich fuck that doesn’t even live in London, pays you well to take care of anything that needs taking care of because the shop belonged to his wife’s grandfather, and she can’t bear separating with it. 

You also get to live rent-free in the one-room flat above the store. You have a kitchen, a bed and a bathroom and no controlling boss looming over your every move. Life is…good. It’s ok, nothing groundbreaking, but how many people get that? How realistic is an action filled, thrilling life actually?

Your friends seem content with life as it is and so you try to be content as well. 

In reality you feel lost.

You have looked into universities, but you aren’t sure if you’d be good enough and the fear of failing holds you back. Besides, what would you even study? In school charms had been your favourite, but was that because of the subject or your teacher? Professor Flitwick had made each class a delight to be in.

You shove the thoughts away, focusing on finishing up closing the store. A friend has set up a blind-date for you. Some guy she works with at the Ministry. She has gushed about him endlessly and you are sure were she not in a relationship herself - she would totally try to date him. 

That is a recipe for disaster, but you want to indulge your friend or perhaps just make her shut up and so you go along.

You lock up the shop and hurry upstairs to shower, change and put on some makeup. An hour later you are standing outside the shop, mentally preparing for the apparition. You are certain you’ll never get used to it.

Pleasant, classical music floods the street as you open the door to the wizarding restaurant and bar in central London. This is already outside your comfort zone. Too fancy and too full. Are you underdressed? Are you overdressed? Shit, what if he isn’t here yet?

“Reservation for Everett.” You say to the hostess who swishes her wand and looks through the list of reservations.

“This way, madam. Your partner is not here yet.” Shit. Of course, he wouldn’t be. You are early. Way too early. Pathetic, desperate early.

The hostess shows you to your table and you smile kindly as you sit down. A waiter hurries over to you and asks for your drink order.

“Wine. Red, please.” The waiter is gone before you can finish your sentence. A glass of wine floats to your table shortly after. You let your eyes wander over the room as you take small sips. A few couples sit at the tables, some more stand at the bar, chatting with each other.

You wait.

And wait.

Three glasses later you know you got stood up. You try to fight the tears stinging in your eyes and dig through your purse for some money to pay for the drinks and scurry out of the restaurant as fast as possible. 

How pathetic! Hot shame spreads through your chest, your guts twist at the mere thought of getting up and leaving. Your feet don’t work. They simply won’t respond to your command. With all your willpower you stifle a sob in your throat. This is your last straw.

All the disappointment over life after Hogwarts, the loneliness, being lost and left behind by the golden opportunities your future had promised you - and now not even your date could bother to show up! You didn’t even want to meet him. Prick!

“Ms. (L/N)?” You flinch. That voice. You are sure that voice would give you war-like flashbacks for the rest of your life. Running through corridors at night, blood pounding in your ears, already feeling safe as the entrance to your common room approaches just to be violently stopped by those words.

You turn and meet the dark eyes of your former professor for potions. 

Severus Snape has not changed in the five years since you last saw him. The same hooked nose, same pale skin. Black greasy hair falling into his face. The long black robes hiding every inch of his skin.

“P-professor Snape.” You reply, because you have to say something. His eyes wander over you, clearly made up for a date and then twitch to the empty seat across from you. They narrow as they see the three empty glasses and the slight redness of your eyes. Without saying anything he slips into the seat across from you.

“Two glasses of whatever the lady has been drinking.” He says as he grabs a waiter by the arm. He gestures towards the glasses. “And get rid of these. What kind of service is this?” The waiter apologises profusely and hurries away quickly. 

You stare at Snape in bewilderment. He is sitting across from you. He saw you got stood up and sat down. And he ordered drinks. 

He is looking at you. Say something. Anything. Shit shit shit.

“I was supposed to meet someone.” You say, cursing how meek you sound. You look away and try to subtly wipe the corner of your eye where a stubborn little tear tries very hard to run down your cheek. You know if you allow that one to pass your lashes, there is no holding back the rest.

“I gathered.” He leans back in his chair, his eyes still roaming over you. Instantly you feel like you are back in the dungeons of Hogwarts, trying your best to brew a potion while he stares at you, waiting for the moment you fail. You swallow hard as the familiar nervousness of being around Snape takes over.

“A boyfriend?”

“N-no. A friend set it up- never met him.”

“What do you do these days?” You blush. You were afraid he might ask that.

“I-I run a little b-bookshop in Diagon Alley…sir.” The ‘sir’ slips out before you can stop it. A smirk tucks at the corners of his mouth at the sound of it but dies instantly.

“A bookshop? And you’re happy with that?” You shrug. You aren’t, but you wouldn’t tell him that. You cling to your glass. This is worse than getting stood up and humiliated. Infinitely worse. Snape leans over the table, his dark eyes glinting with something you can’t quite place.

“I am not going to bite you. Unless-” You tense. Is he flirting? Merlin’s beard- You feel heat rise to your face and stare down at the wine in your hands. “I apologise. This is inappropriate and you clearly wish to be as far away from me as possible. I’ll leave you to it.” Snape says, an edge of self-loathing sneaking into his voice. He digs through his pocket and puts down a few coins on the table.

“Stay-” You have no idea how you manage to force the word out of your constricting throat but there it is. Out in the open. 

Snape stares at you in disbelief. You take a shaky, deep breath and look up to meet his intense gaze.

“Stay.” You repeat, firmer this time. That expression flashes through his eyes again and after a moment of hesitation he settles down.

“U-unless I am keeping you from meeting someone. I-” You hadn’t considered why he might be here. Shit, is he on a date? And instead of that he took pity on you? Does Snape date? 

He chuckles. The sound as foreign to your ears as kindness or praise from him. It goes straight to your core, and you gulp as you are violently tossed back into your old crush. That is the last thing you need now! 

Imagining him doing all sorts of things to you during class was bad enough already - mainly because it really messed with your grade - but imagining them now that you are no longer his student, no longer sixteen- You blush even more as you realise that - in theory - you could do these things now. 

It has been five years since you graduated, sure it is a bit weird maybe, but entirely allowed. You have not been in contact with him since graduation. He has made no inappropriate comment to you while you were his student ever- in fact he barely ever talked to you.

You feel Snape’s hot gaze burn through your skull. It’s almost like he knows. Which is entirely impossible. Or is it? He has the uncanny ability to know when students are planning mischief behind his back and such things as reading minds isn’t at all a ridiculous idea to wizards- shit.

Snape’s lips curl as you stare at him.

“Oh, yes.” His smooth voice says in your head. “I know. I know all the little fantasies you have been coming up with for years.” The colour vanishes from your face. You take a big gulp of your wine, downing the entire thing in one go to aid your suddenly parched throat. Snape swirls the wine in his glass, never taking his eyes off you.

“A-and is that some-something you’d…you’d want?” You ask. Your heart twists and turns in your chest, your insides clench almost uncomfortably. You have no idea where you take the bravery from to say it out loud. 

His grin grows, his eyes darken, snapping down to the neckline of your dress. In one smooth movement he gets up and holds his hand out to you.

This is it.

The one opportunity you’d get.

You take his hand. 

Your skin tingles where it touches him and a giddy feeling spreads through you. 

You are going to sleep with your Potions professor. Former professor. Dark, unapproachable, cruel Snape. The man you have been fantasising about since 6th grade. The man that terrifies you as much as he intrigues you.

Together you leave the restaurant. He guides you towards an abandoned alley and lets go of your hand to snake his arm around your waist.

“Hold on tight.” He whispers in his ear. You can feel his breath on your neck and a shudder runs down your spine. You take a shaky breath and put your arms around his waist. You are swept up in his scent, musky and herbal. It clouds your mind instantly and you bite your tongue so you don’t inhale deeper just so it can flood your senses more. His magic wraps around you and you squeeze your eyes shut, waiting for the apparition to pass. You can feel the chuckle rumble through Snape’s chest before you hear it.

“Still no fan?” 

“No.” You reply breathless and separate from him. He holds onto your waist, eyeing you as though he expects you to collapse. Right- You did. During Apparition training in your 7th year, you lost consciousness after your first successful attempt. He was one of the teachers overseeing the training. 

You blush as the memory of how embarrassed you felt waking up in his arms, your whole year watching, resurfaces in your mind. You clear your throat and look around. You’re in Diagon Alley, not far away from the bookshop. You dig through your pocket and get out the key as you walk towards it. 

You are going to have sex. 

You are going to have sex with Snape. He’s walking right behind you. Nervous doesn’t even begin to cover how you feel.

“This is it.” You say and close the door behind you. Your flat looks terribly small with Snape standing in it. 

“Do you still want me to stay?”

“Yes. I’m just-”

“Yes?” He steps closer.

“You intimidate me.”

“Is that a good thing? Or a bad thing?”

“Good.” You reply breathlessly. Your mind is already foggy just from him standing so close to you. His eyes roam over your face, as though he is determined to enter all its details to his memory. Your heart beats impossibly fast in your chest, smashing against your ribcage so hard you wonder whether Snape can hear it. He leans down, inky hair falling into his face, stealing your view of the room around you. 

Your insides clench and scream for him to kiss you. Finally kiss you. You bite your bottom lip to stop its pathetic quivering. His scent floods your senses and briefly renders your mind nonexistent. 

Snape runs his fingertips over your arm, starting at your wrist and drawing goosebumps across your naked skin, all the way up to your shoulder. Your breath hitches and you barely manage to withstand the urge to hold onto him.

“You’d have to take this off first.” He says, quiet, calm. His voice sends a shiver through your body. He drags his fingers over your shoulder to your neck. He takes the zipper and slowly pulls it down, the sound resounds in your room loud like thunder. 

He barely touches your skin when he peels the straps off your shoulder and gently tugs the dress down and over your hips. It pools around your feet on the ground.

Snape takes a step back and takes in your body. You aren’t wearing a bra, you own none that would have looked good with the dress and stand in front of him only in a pair of black lace knickers.

His eyes remain as unreadable as they always are. He seems to assess your body with the same impartiality as he used to look at your potions. You shiver, cold air swirling around your heated skin, goosebumps spread across your skin and your nipples harden. Your face is burning hot though, and you barely resist the impulse of covering yourself with your arms.

Just when you begin to think this is some cruel joke, he is playing on you to embarrass you, he closes the distance between you two - too fast for your mind to catch up. He grabs your waist and smashes your body against his. His lips crash against your collarbone, his teeth graze your skin.

You gasp and sink your hands into his hair, marvelling at how soft it feels. He kisses your skin, sucks and nibbles. White hot lust seeps into your skin from the saliva he spreads across it. 

He holds your waist in his surprisingly strong arms and attacks your chest, worshipping every inch of you as though you are some ancient artefact promising prosperity and luck to loyal devotees. He groans against you, and you join with a moan of yourself, arching your back, offering your chest up to him. He accepts without hesitation, with enthusiasm even. Snape licks broad, firm strokes over your exposed breast, roughly kneading the other with his hand.

His thorough attention is dizzying. Blood pounds in your ears and waves upon waves of merciless pleasure course through you, twisting your vocal cords into the strangest of sounds you have never heard yourself make.

“Are you a virgin?” He groans against your skin.

“Y-yes-” He stops, dead in his tracks. Slowly his head tilts back, his gaze snapping in on yours.

“Yes?” Hunger flashes through his eyes and he licks his lips. “How the fuck are you still a virgin?” You blush more fiercely if that is even possible. Your shrug and drops your hands to his shoulders.

“Um- nobody was ever interested in me like that.”

“You’re what? Twenty-one?”

“Twenty-two.”

“And nobody ever touched your gorgeous fucking body?” He sounds baffled, like your words are the most ridiculous thing he has ever heard.

“Touched, yes…snogging at parties in the common room and such, but-” Your voice trails off. 

“You are telling me.” He says, his voice growing to untamed deep turmoil of unabashed desire and feral lust. “Nobody ever sucked on these dainty, splendid nipples?” As if to emphasise his words he closes his lips around one, holding it between his teeth and flicking his tongue over it. You whimper. Your legs shake under the weight of your own body, and you cling to his shoulders. His eyes never leave you, the weight of them heavy on you, buzzing on your skin. You throw your head back, moaning like you’ve never moaned before.

He chuckles, the vibration of it ripples through the tissue of your breast and sinks deep into your body, melting into your bones. He kisses his way back up to your collarbone and neck.

“Fools. Every single one of them that did not realise what they are missing out on.” He gently sucks on the sensitive skin in the crook of your neck. He steers you backwards until your calves meet the frame of your bed and you allow your body to fall back.

Snape kicks his shoes off and slips out of his cloak before he follows you, crawling over the bed, up your body like a predator about to devour his prey. A shiver rushes through you at that thought. Yes- you want him to devour you, to worship you, to ruin you and build you back up. He braces his arms against the mattress on either side of your head.

“And you still want me to stay?” The words fall into the space between your bodies, filled with heat and want, desire and fear, buzzing with anticipation. His eyes are softer somehow, less intense, but not less hungry. They tell you how much he wants you, craves you but also tell you he’d stop. You just need to say the word and he will leave. Without shaming you, without a cruel word or ounce of disappointment. 

“Yes.”

“You want to give this first experience to me? Of all people?”

“I’ve always wanted it to be you.” Snape groans and closes his eyes. His head drops, coming to rest against your shoulder, nestling to the crook of your neck.

“Do you have any idea-” He is breathing heavy, clenching his fists in your sheets, his body one large, tensed muscle. “-what you do to me?” Before you can answer he grabs one of your hands and brings it down. He presses it against his upper thigh where his cock is very hard, straining against its confines. You gasp at which Snape smirks. He rolls his hips against your hand.

“It’s big…” You whisper, more fear mixing in with your burning arousal.

“You can take it.” He leans down. His lips brush over your cheek. “I’ll make sure of it.” His breath dances over the shell of your ear, prickling. As soon as it passes your skin feels terribly cold, like it’s never going to be warm ever again just to be replaced by burning heat. Snape drags the tip of his tongue across the shell of your ear and back down to close his lips around your earlobe.

The whimper that falls from your lips at that is more of a high pitched squeak and finally, finally he kisses you. His lips are soft like silk and warm, reminding you of a mug of butterbeer in the Three Broomsticks in winter. 

You sigh and move your lips with his, threading your fingers through his hair. Despite the way he has been acting so far, he kisses you passionately, almost slow, but no less thorough. 

Severus Snape is nothing if not thorough. 

And he intends to savour you.

You part your lips for him, eager to move this along, eager to feel him and the pleasure he can bring you, but when it comes to actually deepening the kiss you hesitate. Snape senses your nervousness and takes over the decision making from you. The tip of his tongue meets yours and he slides it slowly over your own, easing you into the kiss and coaxing a small moan from you. 

You relax against him and surrender yourself to his touch once more. You have never been kissed like this. With want and need, with passion and hunger. He maps out your mouth as though he is trying to dissect a potion he has never seen into its separate components. 

His hands run over your body, your sides and stomach to your thighs. You whine at his touch and muscles twitch under your skin as if to reach out to his calloused fingers. The wool of his frock rubs against your skin when he moves. You reach out to work on the endless row of buttons but are rather abruptly interrupted by his fingers against your cunt. 

A surprised, shuddering gasp escapes you and your fingers tense against his chest. Snape chuckles into the kiss, never once stopping his assault on your mouth. Playful he circles your entrance, gathering you slick and spreading it to your clit. You cling to his shoulders and push your head back into the pillows. Pressure builds deep in your cunt, and you need him to ease it- need him to- to-

“Ahh-” You cry out and dig your nails into Snape’s shoulders. Your own fingers never felt that fucking good.

“Are we enjoying ourself?” Snape teases, watching the pleasure drunk expression on your face.

“Mhh…Snape-” You buck your hips into his hand. “Please- fuck me-”

“Patience, dear. I told you I would make sure you can take me.” He teases your entrance with a finger, coating it in your slick and then gently pushes inside you. “I will fuck you. I will fuck you so well nobody will ever compare to me, but first I’ll stretch this virgin cunt because as you so eloquently put it - It’s big.”

“There was this rumour back in school-” You murmur, blissful pleasure clouding your mind and rendering it utterly useless. “-that- that….oohhh-”

“That I’m a virgin?” He smirks. He pumps his finger inside you, curling it and pressing upwards slightly and a flash of searing pleasure explodes inside your cunt, and you squirm under him, rolling your hips into his touch to get more more more. “Does it feel like I am? Like I’ve never touched a woman?”

“Snape-”

“Dear, believe me, I know your body better than you.” You want to get offended by that statement. What a man thing to say but then Snape does something with his finger, twisting and curling at the same time or something else, interrupting your thoughts harshly with another mind-blowing ripple of pleasure. 

Snape adds a second finger, stretching you carefully and kissing you the entire time, then a third. You are hot all over. Sweat clings to you like a second layer of skin. You are shivering from unfulfilled need and the steadily building pressure deep in your cunt just outside of Snape’s reach.

It builds and builds, beyond anything you were ever able to do to yourself and you have no idea how it keeps building and where all this pressure goes because the thought of it all staying confined in you is absurd!

You whine at the loss of his touch and buck your hips in a futile attempt of stopping his fingers from leaving you. Snape looks very fucking smug, but you are to wound up and needy to even care. 

He watches you squirm, your slickness dripping off his fingers. He traces your lips with his ring finger, spreading your own arousal over them. You are too far gone to really care. Your tongue darts out and licks your lips clean, accepting his finger into your mouth. You suck his fingers clean, one after another, Snape’s dark eyes never leaving you.

“What a good girl.” He coos. His voice rolls over your skin and sinks into your body, causing your insides to clench. 

You watch Snape undo the rest of the buttons and toss the black frock away. He opens his belt, the quiet clink of the buckle echoes in your mind. You’re about to see Snape’s prick. Snape just fingered you. You’ve been kissing Snape! 

Your heart beats faster, like a hummingbird forced to forever fly on the spot in a too small cage. Anticipation takes your breath away and impossibly so, more slickness rushes to your entrance. Every second he takes to open his trousers feels like another fire being lit on your skin. 

He slides a hand in his pants and now you are sure he is doing it to see you squirm because who moves that slow?

You let out an impatient whine and squirm, bucking your hips to grind against him.

“So impatient.” He chuckles and finally, finally frees his prick. 

It’s big is a pretty accurate description, you don't know what Snape has against your eloquence. Jesus fuck, is another option but you doubt Snape would find that more eloquent.

His plush, purple cockhead is already leaking pre-cum. Snape mutters an incantation, you recognise as a contraception spell, before aligning himself with you.

“Don’t worry, dear.” He coos. “I’ll be gentle. Just relax.” You try. You really try, but Snape has your nerve endings running in circles, screaming, while on fire. Stop, drop and roll is not an option that they can think of, mainly because thinking is quite difficult when on fire. 

He pushes against you, and you tense further. Snape rubs your thigh, and you take a deep breath and try to relax your muscles. Slowly, inch after thick inch Snape enters you. Beads of sweat collect on his forehead from the strain of going slow. Inch after inch of your tight channel is mercilessly forced to yield to his girth, stretching you open with a small sting. 

Snape grunts and sinks into you to the hilt, sacking above you to give you time to adjust and also catch his breath.

You are so bloody full. How he isn’t ripping you open is a miracle to you. Your knuckles are white from holding onto his arms. The muscles in your thighs quiver. You give tentatively rolls of your hips, earning a low groan from Snape another wave of deep pleasure.

“You’re breathing really hard.” He mutters into your ear. “I like that - keep working so hard for me, dear.” Snape’s thrusts are long and controlled, massaging your inner walls and hitting just the right spots. You are reduced to a pathetic, needy moaning puddle of bliss and want. 

Snape isn’t doing too much better. His breathing is heavy and loud right next to your ear which drives you deeper and deeper into your trance-like state of ecstatic bliss. His rhythm falters more than once and his groans take on an animalistic edge. 

“So tight.” He grunts and drives back into you. “Just for me-”

“Snape!”

“That’s right. Saved yourself for me, didn’t you, dear?”

“Idiot.” You laugh against his jaw.

“No need to play shy - you can tell me.” Snape smirks and leans his forehead against yours. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.” He snaps his hips forward, hitting that spot with more force than before and your breath gets stuck in your throat. You tense and convulse, somehow simultaneously. Snape grunts when you clench around him and your inner walls spasm.

“Keep coming- keep fucking coming for me!” He reaches between your bodies and rubs your clit. A violent wave of pleasure smacks you right in the face and you scream in pleasure. Snape whispers reverent praise and fucks you through your release, coming shortly after with a long groan inside you.

Sweaty, sticky and spent you collapse on the bed, both trying to catch your breath. Snape runs his hand over your thigh absentmindedly. His cum slowly leaks out of you. Your eyelids are heavy. A heavy blanket of bliss and contentment settles over you.

“Thank you.” You whisper into the silence of your flat.

“Whatever for?” He chuckles next to you.

“It was nice.” You shrug.

“Well, I should be thanking you for even letting me touch you.”

“Let’s thank each other.”

“Fine.” You stay there a while longer, but eventually Snape disentangles himself from you and gets up to get dressed.

Lying on your side with your sheets pulled up to cover your still shaking body you watch him.

“You know-” He says but stops himself, a frown appearing on his face. “A career isn’t the only thing to measure how accomplished or fulfilled one’s life is. Your friends might think their jobs are great now, but in ten, twenty years they’ll realise they have never lived a day in their life. This job…” He looks around the flat. “It seems pretty comfortable to me. It seems to give you the freedom to do whatever you want. Create art or music, write, research or go to university. You can do whatever you want - fuck what other people think. Not everybody dreams of labour.”

“What if I’m not good enough?” Snape fastens his cloak. He looks up. His eyes seem heavy with a burden you can’t quite understand. The corner of his mouth twitches and perhaps for the first time in the years you have known him you see him smile.

“I think you can achieve anything you put your mind to. And either way. How will you know if you never try? The day will come you’ll regret having allowed your fear to hold you back.” His cloak billows behind him when he turns to leave. His hand already on the doorknob he stops.

“I hope you find happiness.”

“I hope you find happiness too, Professor.”

“For some of us it’s too late.” And with those words he disappears into the darkness of the night.

Three weeks later Albus Dumbledore is murdered by Severus Snape.

| Part 2 |

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

To Those Who Wait 2

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as non/dubcon, virginity loss, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: You are tired of being the safe one so you decide to pay for some excitement.

Characters: escort!Ransom Drysdale, Curtis Everett

Note: yeah, I couldn't resist.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. Thanks to everyone who reads this one and thank you for all your energy.<3

Love you all like Tony loves himself. Take care. 💖

“Busy?” Vivica hums with doubt. “Again.” 

“Sorry, Vic, I just... can’t,” you roll your eyes at your reflection. No, the eye liner is too much. You think mascara’s fine. 

“What’s going on?” Her voice rises from your phone as it rests amid the mess of your bathroom counter. “Ever since your birthday, you’ve been kind of a bitch.” 

She isn’t wrong. You twist the wand of the mascara and pop it from the tube. You sigh. 

“I know, I’m sorry. Better reason for you all to go without me,” you say. “I don’t want to bring you down.” 

“Hm, fine,” she lets her disappointment through. “But you’re getting coffee with me soon. I’m worried.” 

You nod and brush through your lashes. “I’ll let you know what I’m free.” 

You sniff as she tuts noisily. “Fine, I’ll wait.” 

“Go, have fun,” you insist. “Text you later.” 

“Right, sure.” 

You tap the red button and the call ends. You slide the wand into place and twist the mascara shut. You fighting a losing battle here. You drop the tube and throw your head back, heaving out a breath. 

You don’t even know why you’re doing this. It’s a joke. A date? You’ll just be letting down one more person. You hate to waste Curtis’ time. Hence, why you haven’t told anyone about it. You don’t need them to know about another fuck up. 

The phone buzzes. You roll your eyes and press your fingerprint to the screen to unlock. You expect another long lecture typed out by Vivica, instead, it’s Curtis. Is he already here? No, you’re not ready. You bend to read his message. 

‘Hey, if you got em, wear sneakers or hiking boots.’ 

You squint. Huh? Is he taking you on a hike? Wow. Well, you suppose you deserve that kind of effort. Besides, you’re really not in the mood for a crowded restaurant where you have to pretend to know the appetizer sharing etiquette. 

‘I can dig some out’ you type back. 

You step back and sift through your sparse make up. You pick out a shade of lip gloss closest to your natural hue. Is it really necessary? Why are you even trying? You know how this ends. You pop your lips and snap the cap into place. 

Maybe he’s a murderer. Somehow, that doesn’t scare you. Even as the pieces seem to fall into place. He’s taking you out alone. Somewhere he’s kept a surprise, and he told you to bring sporty shoes. You expect you might be running from an axe in the woods soon enough. Not such a dire end considering. 

You shake off the absurd thought. You don’t want to look like you went overboard. Curtis has been so casual about all of this. Yeah, casual. Just put on something simple. 

The black jeans could easily be mistaken for nicer pants. The turtleneck isn’t too much either. Blue cotton with little white daisies. You’ll put a cardigan over it and pull on your hiking boots. Wow, a dream come true. A date in Sorel avant garde. 

Your nerves begin to go wild. You don’t know why. It’s not a real date, it’s a courtesy. He asked so you might as well just go. You grab your phone and wait on the couch, a youtube video babbling unheard from the television. 

Your phone vibrates. You sit up. It’s Curtis. 

‘Here. I think.’ 

‘I’ll come down’. You type back. 

You get up and hurry around. You grab your crossbody bag and your keys. You shoulder out the door and lock it behind you. Your phone buzzes once more. 

‘Right by the door.’ 

You come out and look around, searching the cars parked along the curb. Your attention is drawn back to the motorcycle between an SUV and Honda Accord. You approach Curtis as he hugs a second helmet under his arm. 

“Hope you don’t mind.” He offers the helmet. 

You take it as you process the full picture. The matte black tank, the leather saddle bags in the same shade as his jacket and gloves, the steel gray exhaust and thick tires. You nod. 

“Not at all.” 

“I shoulda warned you,” he says. 

“I’ve been on one before,” you assure him as you pull on the helmet and loop the strap under your chin. 

“Oh?” 

“I know, I don’t look like the type. I’m not.” You flip the visor down. 

“Ah, well, whoever he was, hope he didn’t spoil the ride completely,” he says, “get on.” 

He turns and straddles the bike, kick back the stand. You hesitate then reach for his arm. You climb up behind him and swing your leg over. You wince as you land on the seat. Ouch, you’re still a bit sore down there. 

“Gonna have to hang on tight,” he pats his side. 

“Sure, uh... right.” 

You hook your arms around him. This is an easy gag for a man. Get a woman nice and close under the fear she might become road kill. Slick. 

“You ready?” He rolls the bike towards the street. 

“Ready,” you assure him. 

He starts the motor and revs. He angles around and speeds off down the road. You pull yourself closer as the wind tunnels around you. The smell of leather fills your nose as you close your eyes. It’s not awful, is it? 

When you look again, you’re head towards the town line. You watch the trees grow thicker as he steers along the country roads. That paranoia rises again. It would be just your luck. Look what happened the other night. 

You lift your head and peek over his shoulder. He rides up to a farm and comes a halt. He plants his feet in the dirt and kills the engine. A thrum lingers in your muscles as the roar of the bike dulls your hearing. 

“We’re here,” he proclaims. 

You take his cue. You get off first and he parks the bike with a kick of the stand. You wiggle the helmet off and look up at the farmhouse and the barn further back. Your brows pinch together curiously. 

“It’s not that lame, I promise.” He takes your helmet and hangs it with his on the handle bar.  “Friend of mine owns the place. He let me have it for the night.” 

“Mhm, good friend.” 

“Yeah, he can be,” he removes the saddlebags from the back of the bike and waves you on. “That way, just around the back.” 

You nod and turn away. You stride up along the side of the house. It’s an old-fashioned place. Faded wood and peeling paint. You pause before you can pass it completely. You look back at him as he nearly runs into you. 

“Everything alright?” He asks. 

You look him in his stormy gray eyes, “you’re not going to kill me, right?” 

He snorts and his cheek dimples. “I can’t guarantee no blood but that’s far from the plan.” 

You frown. What a strange answer.

You shrug and turn back to your path. You come out around the back of the house, sown fields in the early stages of growth behind a large board painted with circles. A ply wood target. A picnic table across from it with a clutter over one half. You cross your arms as you near. 

“Hatchet throwing,” he puts the saddle bags on the table. “Thought it would be fun. Something a little less... crowded.” 

“Oh?” You tilt your head like a squawking crow. 

He lifts one of the axes and holds it up. “Good stress relief.” 

“Mm,” you reach for one, less confident in your grasp. 

He turns to the target and extends his arm towards it. “You wanna keep a light but sturdy grip,” he says. “You don’t want it to catch.” 

He bends his arm back and swings it ahead again, letting the hatchet fly with easy. You flinch as it thunks into the target, just off-center. Your lips slant. 

“You got a lot of experience?” 

“Well, I started with darts at the bar but didn’t like all the drunks. There’s a place you can pay to do this in town but it’s pricey and loud,” he says. “So... I put this together.” 

“Yeah, probably not worth the money.” The words hang in the air, a question whether you mean the activity or yourself. 

“Go ahead.” 

“Uh, oh,” push your bag behind you and look at the target. “I...” You raise your arm, try to line up your aim, then drop it down. “I can’t.” 

“You want a few tips?” 

“Think I need them.” 

“Alright, no problem. It’s no biggy. Worst that happens, it lands in the dirt.” He comes close and lightly guides you by your shoulders, standing you perpendicular to the target. “Alright, bring it up.” 

You raise your arm and he helps you line up. He gets even closer and nudges your feet with his scuffed boots to get you in position. “That’s it, just like that.” 

You grip the axe tighter and your eyes widen. Those words hit you like the blade, slicing deep. The body on top of yours, his rasping cooes, and his cruel thrusts. You blink away the vision of Hugh and shudder. 

“Here,” Curtis touches your hand, “loosen up. Pull back. Yeah, you got it.” He steps back, “when you’re ready, let it fly.” 

He stands away from you and watches. You bite down and stare at the target. All your frustration and fear bubbles in your chest. You narrow your eyes and take a breath. You fling the hatchet without restraint. The thunk in the wood is deafening. 

Curtis whistles, “wow, good shot.” 

You turn straight to examine the board. Your shot is opposite of his, right on the line with the bullseye.  

“Lucky,” you say. 

“I dunno, you seem like a natural,” he crosses the ground and pulls out the hatches. “Wanna toss a few more? Build up an appetite?” 

“Uh, sure,” you agree. “It is kind of fun.” 

“I think so. Even more when you have company,” he approaches and offers the hatchet. “I packed a picnic so we won’t have to chew on seeds.” 

You glance at the sprouting fields. You laugh. It was a little fun. 

“Got one,” he spins the hatchet in his hand. “You go first. Since you won first round.” 

“What? No I didn’t.” 

“You were closer so... that’s a win. Champ.” 

“Alright, no need for the sarcasm,” you shake your head. 

“I’m a sore loser,” he winks. “So, take it easy on me and I might lighten up.” 

🎯

The rumble of the engine stays with you as you climb off the bike. Curtis cuts the engine and flips down the stand. He takes off his helmet as you descend back to earth. Literally. Somehow in those last three hours or so, he kept the world from invading your mind. 

“That was nice,” he says. “I think.” 

You hold the helmet in your hands, a good way to keep them still. You look down and crack a smile. He hangs his on the bike. 

“Another one huh?” He says and you pop your head up. “Got another smile.” 

You blush and shake your head, “I don’t know. I guess.” 

“You had fun?” He asks. 

“I did,” you contend and hand over the helmet. “Thanks. For everything.” 

“No, thank you.” He holds the helmet at his side and stares at you. The streetlights cast ominous shadows over him. He shifts so his sole scrapes the ground. “I hope maybe we can do it again.” 

“Er...” you’re struck by the suggestion. Again? Like a second date. That can’t be real. Not after everything. Oh bitter irony. “Sure, Curtis. I think next time I could let you win.” 

“Yeah, next time,” he rasps. He leans in and you realise what’s happening. He’s going to kiss you. Oh. 

“Ugh, oh,” you trip on nothing and hop up on the curb. “Oops, sorry, it’s so dark out here.”  

He recoils and clears his throat, “yeah, uh, you want me to walk you to the door?” 

“Uh, no, no,” you put your palms up. “I won’t take up any more of your time.” 

“Alright,” he says despondently. “Have a good night.” 

“Yeah, you too.” 

“I’ll text,” he mutters. 

“I’ll answer.” 

You spin and cringe at your building. You suck. You're a dork. Ew. Ew. Ew. 

You march up the walk and don’t stop until you’re inside. You blew it. So close but so far. Just like you expected. Well, then you can be that disappointed. 

You retreat to your apartment and slam your phone down. You won’t think about it. He has to drive home and he won’t text tonight anyway. You just hate a date. A date! 

Was it really real? After everything? You think so. 

You sink onto the couch. You hold your chin and pick your lip. Just another day and you’d be in la la land. This would be heaven. One more day and you may have let him kiss you. Before you were used up and tarnished. 

Ugh. Why couldn’t you have just let it happen? Because those things don’t happen to you. Romance isn’t for you. It’s for other people. And people lie. Even Curtis. Maybe he won’t text after all. 

You lean back and turn on the television in resignation. You put on an early 00s sitcom with a sadly departed main star. That’s how life is. When it’s good, it goes wrong, or it’s just over. When it’s bad, that’s when it seems eternal. 

You cross your legs then think better of that. Even with all the lube, there’s a lot of damage done. Nothing serious, just sensitive. It was your first time. You don’t imagine it gets better. 

Your phone buzzes at the end of episode two. You nearly jump off the sofa. Don’t be stupid. 

You get up, patiently, and get your phone. You sit down again before you unlock it. The message that comes up isn’t from Curtis. Or Vivica. Or Mila. Or Jerrod. 

It’s from WhatsApp. You only ever used that for... 

‘You lookin’ for another weekend fling?’ 

You stare at Hugh’s message. You deleted the conversation but you recognise the number. The two checkmarks turn green to show you’ve read the message. God dammit. 

You don’t answer. You can’t. You’re mortified. You crash back to earth with startling speed. You can’t undo that. Worse, you don’t think you’ll ever get past it. 

You clear all your apps and put your phone on do not disturb. 

You stretch out on the couch and focus on the TV. Not really. It just glares in your vision as you stare through it. As you can hear nothing but a distant whistle. You stay like that, fractured, until your consciousness slowly falls away. 

You’re back in the hotel room. Alone one minute then pinned to the bed. The ceilings tear open as Hugh fucks you. You’re gushing around him, the smell of blood fills the air with iron. You meld with the blankets, shrouded in them, then suddenly thunder roars through the space. 

Curtis rides in on his motorcycle. How? A hatchet flies and hit the headboard, glancing by your cheek. You look past Hugh’s writhing body, completely oblivious of the other’s man disgusted glares. 

“Slut.” 

The word wakes you. You jolt up and hold your head dizzily. The windows are glazed over with the soft tones of morning. You groan and turn your legs over the edge of the couch. 

You get up to make your coffee. The dark roast brew and the aroma eases your nerves. You grab you phone out of habit and sit down. You have another message. You put the phone down. 

You go back to the kitchen and fill a mug. You drink in silence. You take the cup into the bathroom and shower before you finish the dregs. As you sit to pee, you wince. It’s been a week. It’s still painful but you’re sure it’s all in your head. After all, your pride hurts worse than anything else. 

You rinse your cup, pick up your phone, and determine to delete the message. As the chat opens, you’re stopped by the image there. You nearly drop it. Instead, you lean on the counter is gasp. 

‘Thot I was ur 1st' the message reads beneath the photo of you and Curtis in the yellow cascade of the streetlight. 

The checkmark fills and three bubbles pop up. Fuck. The next text comes quickly. 

‘How would ur bf feel about u fucking strangers?’ 

‘Not my bf. Leave me alone.’ Your thumbs tap furiously and you hit send. 

He sends a laughing emoji and the dots appear again. ‘I got a discount. Just 4 u.’ 

‘No thx. Not interested’ 

‘Didn’t ask don’t care but think I know who would’ 

You huff and hang your head back. You don’t get it. Why is he doing this? He got his fee and you got what you paid for. 

‘No. Pls don’t message again.’ 

You bring down the menu and delete the conversation and block the sender. It isn’t until after that that you realise. He took that picture outside your building. He knows where you live. How? 

The police? Would they do anything? Would they believe you? You just deleted the evidence. 

He’s bluffing right. He just wanted more money. You’re not stupid. Come on. You are a wallet to him, nothing more. You’re not naive enough to think he enjoyed it any more than you did. It’s business to him. He did his job and he got a pretty penny. If you could get that much for a few hours, you’d be hustling too. 

It’s just a poor attempt at blackmail. A hail mary for any extra pay check. Too bad for him, you don’t have that type of money. You already splurge on regret. 

You’ll keep an eye over your shoulder but you really doubt it’s anything more than greed. He must have a dozen clients. Hm... that thought doesn't make feel you better. You don’t know that you’ll ever really feel good again. Did you ever before? 

📱

“I know it’s cliche but I told you, I’m not exactly the creative type,” you settle in at the table and look through the cafe window. 

“I told you, I trust your judgment. And can’t go wrong with coffee,” Curtis says. 

“Guess not, but I’ve had some shitty coffee in my day.” 

His cheek dimples and he tilts his head in agreement, “me too. I’m not some coffee snob but some of the water they serve around town.” 

“You’re talking about Smokey’s, right? They serve ash-flavoured piss. Oh, sorry, I...” you give a sheepish smile. “I got carried away.” 

“You’re right though,” he snorts. 

“Ha, thanks. Mila disagrees. She keeps trying to convert me.” 

“Sounds like Jensen but with those acid energy drinks. I told him, he’s going to have a heart attack.” 

“Ew, those things are worse. It’s like someone made mountain dew worse.” 

He chuckles. That doesn’t happen often. “Wow, I should bring you in as backup. Then he might actually listen.” 

The barista comes with your drinks and you thank her. You ordered a tea latte, not your usual fare. Curtis eyes it as he cradles his cup of dark roast between his large hands. 

“I’m not much of a tea person but that looks interesting.” 

“London Fog. Just very foamy Earl Gray,” you explain. 

“Ah,” he nods thoughtfully. Your bag vibrates and you elbow it back on your hip. Not right now, Mila. “Not to be socially awkward but you like horror movies?” 

“I like them but they still scare me,” you say. 

“Really? Something actually scares you?” 

“What do you mean?” You scoff. 

He stares at you. “Do you really not know?” 

“Know... what?” 

“You’re terrifyingly hard to read,” he says. “You’re so lock and key that it’s hard to tell what you’re thinking. Easy to assume you want to scoop my guts out with a plastic spoon.” 

“I’m not much for slashers, I’m more into psychological scares,” you counter then catch yourself. You smile. “Sorry. I’m not... you know, I can be a bitch but I’m not really one.” 

“That isn’t what I meant.” 

“I know, I just don’t know how else to say... if I look at you like a rabid dog, I swear, I’m just thinking.” 

“Yeah, Jensen says I have RBF too.” 

“RBF?” You wonder. 

“Resting Bitch Face, although he started calling it Raging Curt Face.” 

You laugh. He does too. The last bit of ice melts away. 

“I’m on a roll today,” he says. “So I may as well ask, wanna come over and watch scary movies?” 

🍿

The mood is set. The curtains are drawn to darken the room and the television glows as the only source of light in the space. Not much of a beacon as the images on the screen remain in shadow as the grinding soundtrack drones from the speakers.

You sit on the couch, enthralled by the manic horror of the character’s shallow breaths. 

You jerk as something brushes over your shoulder. You quickly still yourself as you realise what it is. Curtis stretches his arm over your shoulders. 

“Scared yet?” He asks. 

You giggle, “only a little.” 

He stays close and you don’t push him away. It’s such a weird feeling. To have someone in your space but you don’t mind it. To be honest, it’s comforting. 

You stare at the screen as the tension builds. As a loud noise frightens you, you jolt and lean into Curtis. He curls his arm snug around you. Then the next startling twist comes and you turn your face into his shoulder. 

“You didn’t say you were a baby,” he teases. 

“Oh, hush,” you speak into his shirt. 

“Hey, it’s alright,” he grits and brings his hand up under your chin. “I’ll protect you from the boogeyman.” 

You glower up at him and he sighs, “don’t look at me like that.” 

“How can you tell how I’m looking at you?” 

“I can feel it,” his thumb rubs your chin and he leans closer. 

You swallow as he keeps coming. You don’t stop him. You’re stuck. Your body won’t answer the screaming in your head. He presses his lips to yours and you let out a soft noise. He presses his mouth against yours for a moment then pulls away. 

He’s quiet as you puff you, your heart racing. “Was that okay?” 

You cough, “uh, yeah... sorry, I... I’m surprised.” 

“Can I do it again?” He asks. 

You quiver and nod, “sure.” 

He kisses you again. This time his tongue traces the crease of your lips. You open to him, unsure what you’re supposed to do. He delves within as he cradles your head and squeezes you closer. 

A warmth creeps up your body. Cozy at first. Intoxicating either. But it keeps burning. Hotter and hotter as his hand slithers down your back. His groan triggers a tickle in your brain and nearly bite down.  

You touch Curtis’ chest and urge him away. He reluctantly parts and slackens his hold on you. You stand up without a word. 

“Everything alright?” He asks. 

“I need your bathroom. Sorry.” 

You hurry away, staggering through the dark, and close the bathroom door behind you. You flip the light on and stomp to the tub, sitting on the porcelain as you drop your head into your hands. What the fuck? What is wrong with you? 

That wasn’t bad. It was great. You were getting somewhere. You were having a normal experience. It’s like you just can’t let yourself win. 

You smack your cheek, then your other. You do it a few more times before you sit up straight. God! What a disaster. What a stupid woman you are. You can’t even blame anyone but yourself. You did this to yourself. 

You ran away from Curtis. You came in here to mope. And you hired Hugh. 

No, don’t-- that’s not relevant. You’re forgetting that. It didn’t happen. You’re trying to move on. You can move on. Curtis doesn’t have to be your penance; he can be your antidote. 

There’s a knock at the door. You stare at the wood. 

“Yeah?” 

“Are you okay?” Curtis asks. 

“Yep.” You call back. 

“I’m sorry if... if that was too much. If I went too fast,” he says. 

You huff and stand. You drag your feet to the door. You make yourself open it and face him. He turned the lights on. You ruined the night. 

“I think maybe I should just go. I’m sorry I spoiled the movie,” you say. He doesn’t move. 

“What? I paused it. It’s fine. We can finish it.” 

“No, Curtis, I’m just... I keep... aren’t you tired of me yet?” 

He shakes his head, “no, are you tired of me?” 

You clamp your lips and pop them in exasperation. “No.” That makes this harder. Because you aren’t tired of him. Because you do like him. 

“So why are you running away?” 

He grips the door frame. He’s a big man. He doesn’t have to let you leave but you know if you say you want to go, he will. For a moment, his size reminds you of another person. One who didn’t listen. One who didn’t hear your 'stop'. 

“This is really embarrassing but I’m just going to be honest otherwise you’ll just think I'm insane,” you throw your hands up. “I’ve never, uh, never... had... someone before. You know? Never been on any dates, er, until you.” 

He nods and his expression stays the same, “alright.” 

“So yeah...” 

He narrows his eyes, “is that it?” 

You stare at him. “Yeah, I guess that’s it.” 

“I don’t care about that. I care about us, you know? About right now. So then or whenever, it’s not important. But right now I can be patient. I can take it slow.” He drops his hand from the frame. “We can just watch the movie. That’s it.” 

You look down and slump, “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t be,” he gently touches your arm. “I don’t want you to be sorry because you did nothing wrong. Thank you for telling me.” 

You don’t say anything else. You’re too mortified to muster more than a grumble. You reach for the light switch but he stands as a wall between you and escape. 

“One more thing though,” he says, “I’m not just someone. I'm your boyfriend.” 

You falter and clasp your hands in front of your stomach, “boyfriend?” 

He smiles, “I can wait for my girl. That’s half the fun, isn’t it?” 

He offers his hand and you consider it as your lips curve without a thought.  You accept the offer and latch onto his large hand.  

“Guess I’ll find out,” you say.” 

[babybatss-blog]

CHAGRIN

Sirius black x reader, 850 words

Summary: After another fight, Sirius comes to you for support.

Cw: pre-developed relationship between Sirius and reader, Sirius is bleeding and has bruises. Kissing and alcohol consumption. Angst into comfort.

Some may call Sirius’ actions today a momentary lapse in judgement. Others may call it another predictable deed of his, just like many times before that couldn’t be contained and never will be. But you know better than that. You know that Sirius is truly a good person, someone who just doesn’t let others speak down on his loved ones with his unwavering loyalty. Are his clashes smart? No, of course not! But he does these things out of the goodness of his heart, not understanding the repercussions that they have and what other more successful methods there are to get out his anger.

It’s 10:18pm on a Friday when you are sitting in your dorm, alone. All of your friends went to a party out in the Ravenclaw common room, though after a long week you thought it would be better to stay in. Soft candlelight illuminates your room, the posters and rain flickering under it’s warm glow as you curl up on your bed, reading a captivating book. Even if your week hadn’t been rough you probably would’ve still found yourself alone tonight, as this book has been one of the best you’ve ever read. The plot twists, character development and world building truly transport you away, and you’ve been craving a good moment like this for a while.

Nonetheless, your euphoria is quickly ended by a knock at your door, which is strong and firm. If it was one of your friends it would’ve been softer, or they would’ve just called out as they unlocked the door themselves. So, who could it be? You get up out of bed and quickly walk over, opening the door to see… Sirius.

He seems awful. Theres blood on his lip and his eyebrow is puffy, a bruise clearly forming. “Sirius?!” You exclaim, confusion overriding your previously calm demeanour. Without hesitation you pull him inside by his hand, which he obediently follows until he collapses onto your bed. Usually in a situation like this he would be defending himself profusely, not letting you get a word of denotation in as he knows you hate when he gets in trouble like this. Sirius merely sits there as you quickly walk out of the room to the bathroom, grabbing a hand towel and running it under warm water.

Once you return he looks up at you, a sad look in his gorgeous eyes that makes your heart melt. “Sorry.” He mumbles. Well that’s unlike him. You sweetly smile at him and kneel in between his legs, his cold hands firmly holding your waist as a simple symbol of his affection. No matter what is going on Sirius cannot keep his hands off you, physical affection being his main form of love. “So, what happened?” You ask, not wasting a moment to clean the wounds on his beautiful face with the warm towel. He hisses at the sensation, yet responds anyways. “Lucius. He was making fun of Frank again, and I don’t know what came over me but it just… Enraged me. The poor guy was just minding his business, but that stupid Malfoy couldn’t help himself. Blabbering on about him being a loser or something.” As he says this, you can feel the anger building up in him already. His grip on you tightens and his brow furrows, quivering slightly under the sensation of the towel. In a disposition to him you merely smile, leaning in to kiss his nose. “Your so sweet. I’m sure Frank appreciated it, but you know that’s what you should do.”

“I know. Except I didn’t even throw the first punch! James Punched Barty first, and Lucius flung my wand out of my hand so I had no choice but to swing! Otherwise, he would’ve gone and-“ Your pointer finger presses against his mouth, stopping his divulgence before he goes on more. “Enough Siri. No excuses, we don’t need them here.” Although he doesn’t necessarily agree with you, Sirius keeps his mouth shut when you take your finger back.

“I’m sorry Darling.” He mumbles. If there’s anything you’ve taught him from the time you’ve spent together its that violence isn’t the best policy, and even if he doesn’t agree it pains him more than any bruise or cut to betray you. And when your hand with the towel drops and is replaced with one on his cheek he melts, understanding the words behind your silent gesture. You understand his actions, resolute in protecting what he finds important through a simple means that doesn’t take complicated words. You lean in for your soft lips to collide, tasting the alcohol on his breath and the blood on his lips. You’re a better medicine to him than any spell or liquid, invigorating him from the outside in.

As his hands explore your body once more the night dissolves away, safe in each other’s touch and far far way from any stupid bullying Slytherins, and issues of the real world.

[slytheringangstuff]

𝒞𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈

𝒯𝒽𝑒𝑜𝒹𝑜𝓇𝑒 𝒩𝑜𝓉𝓉 𝓍 𝐹𝑒𝓂𝒶𝓁𝑒 𝓇𝑒𝒶𝒹𝑒𝓇

𝐹𝓁𝓊𝒻𝒻

𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓊𝓃𝓉: 𝟣.𝟣𝓀

𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔𝓈: 𝓃𝑜𝓃𝑒

𝒮𝓊𝓂𝓂𝒶𝓇𝓎: 𝒲𝒽𝑒𝓃 𝓎/𝓃 𝒽𝒶𝓈 𝓉𝑜 𝓅𝒶𝓉𝒸𝒽 𝒯𝒽𝑒𝑜 𝓊𝓅 𝒶𝒻𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒶 𝒻𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓇𝒹 𝓉𝒾𝓂𝑒 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀 𝑒𝓂𝑜𝓉𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝓈𝓊𝓇𝒻𝒶𝒸𝑒 𝒶𝓃𝒹 𝒸𝑜𝓃𝒻𝑒𝓈𝓈𝒾𝑜𝓃𝓈 𝒶𝓇𝑒 𝓂𝒶𝒹𝑒.

𝐼'𝓂 𝓈𝓉𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓃𝑒𝓌 𝓉𝑜 𝓌𝓇𝒾𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 𝓈𝑜 𝓅𝓁𝑒𝒶𝓈𝑒 𝒷𝑒 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝒹! 𝒪𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓃 𝓉𝒽𝒶𝓉 𝐼 𝒽𝑜𝓅𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝑒𝓃𝒿𝑜𝓎 <𝟥

“You’re an idiot, you know.” y/n sighed, her back turned to Theo, as she searched for the first aid kit that she used far too much. Theo leaned on the bathroom door frame, arms crossed, and smiled softly at y/n. No matter how mad she was with him, she always made sure he was okay, which was more often than not recently. 

“You know, it’s not that bad, Tesoro.” He smirked as she paused, taking out the kit. It’s just a scratch, but I appreciate the concern.” At this, she turned around so fast she could have gotten whiplash, he thought, his expression changing to a more startled one. 

“You are not fine!” y/n snaps. Her voice was full of anger, yet her eyes showed the hurt and concern she felt. “Theo, this is the third time this week I’ve had to patch you up!” She scolded in disbelief. “It’s Thursday! Matteo has been in fewer fights this month than you have this week! Matteo! How is he more controlled than you!? HOW?! I mean, you won’t even tell me why! I don’t get it Theo!” He opened his mouth to speak, but Theo couldn’t think of anything to say; all he could do was stand there and listen, wincing whilst trying to ignore the throbbing in his head.

Noticing this, y/n sighed, calming herself enough to focus on fixing his injuries. There weren’t many, but she knew him well enough to know that he was in pain. 

“Come here.”

Walking towards her, he gives her an apologetic look before lifting her up onto the counter, the start of a routine that was almost second nature to them both by now. He stood between her legs, hands resting on her thighs, rubbing soothing shapes in hopes of helping her relax. Carefully, y/n lifted her hand to his chin so she could begin to inspect the damage fully. Slight cuts and bruising to his nose, cheek, and lip, and the worst being on his forehead; whoever he fought must have had rings, she thought. Taking a closer look at his nose told her he had once again broken it for the fourth time that month, but to her relief, it was easily fixable. Seeing this, Theo smiled, only to immediately wince, closing his eyes. The burning sensation was a painful reminder of his split lip. 

Frowning, she reached for her wand and pointed it at his nose. “Episkey.”

Gasping, he jolted back, his hand moving to his nose. Hissing in pain, he shot y/n a look that can only be described as betrayal while she giggled. “What happened to a warning?” he asked, still holding his now-fixed nose. "What happened to ‘no more fights’?”

“You know I don’t go looking to fight someone. I have my reasons.” Opening an alcohol wipe, she sighed. "With the amount of times I’ve patched you up this week, it wouldn’t surprise me if you were walking around with a ‘fight me’ sign on.” She smiled lightly as he chuckled. “This’ll sting,” she warned. “But you know that by now.”

Theo groaned, teeth clenching, as Y/N cleaned his cuts, paying close attention to the one on his forehead. She giggled quietly as she placed four butterfly stitches on the cut to help it close and heal. “What’s so funny?” he questioned, wondering what had lightened her mood.

“You’re lucky the cut isn’t deep; otherwise, you’d look like Harry Potter 2.0.” She teased. Hearing this, he gasped, hand flying to his chest so dramatically it rivalled Draco’s reactions. “How dare you say such cruel things!” Trying to cry, he ‘sobs’ out, “To say I look like that prick is to say I have been so horribly disfigured; you may as well end me now!” Trying to control her laughter, y/n chokes out. “You-you are-“ Theo interrupted, “Beautiful, a genius, immensely talented-“ She stopped him. “An idiot!” Seeing him pout, she continued. “But… you’re my idiot, and I wouldn’t trade you with anyone in the world.” 

“Liar.” y/n leans back, offended. “How exactly am I a liar? Who on earth would I replace you with?”

“I’ll give you one name.” She gestures for him to continue. “Tom Hiddleston.” She smiles wide, her head tilting back with laughter before wheezing out. “Okay! But… you’ve said the same to me about Ryan Reynolds!” Laughing with her, he yields. “Fine, but can you blame me?” “No, but you can’t blame me either.” Theo holds his hands up in surrender. “No, I cannot.”

Theo’s eyes soften as she finishes cleaning him up.

“It was about you.” Confused, y/n looked into his eyes. “What was about me?” He takes a breath, looking away, before answering.

“The fights. You'd be sick if you heard half of the things those boys said about you.” Looking into her eyes, he continues. “Pansy and Draco told me last week they were bothering you, and I’ve been keeping an eye on them since. I can’t and I won’t let them show such disrespect towards you amore, simply because they will never be able to have you.” Anxiously he waits for y/n to respond, her face a mixture of emotions that even he struggled to read. 

Her eyes glistened with tears as she tried to speak through the lump in her throat. “I understand why you did it, and I’m… I don’t know.” She pauses, taking a deep breath. “It feels good to-to know that you’ll stand up for me even when I’m not there. And I’m so grateful for that, but I don’t want you to keep getting hurt because of me. I love you so much; I hate seeing you in pain, Theo. I can handle it. I promise.”

Pulling her to his chest, Theo presses a kiss to her head. “I knew you'd feel guilty, so I didn’t want you to know. You do understand that I’d take a thousand wounds if it meant keeping you safe or defending you, right?" He holds her closer to him, if possible. Not waiting for an answer, he continues. “When you love something, you protect it. And I love you more than anything in this world. You’re the reason I get out of bed amore mio.”They hold each other for what feels like years before Theo speaks. “You said you love me… for the first time.” He feels her smile on his chest before she pulls away enough to meet his eyes. “So did you.”

[corkinavoid]

Hogwarts??? So you hate trans people then, if your supporting jk

First of all, it's 'you're', not 'your'. If you want to accuse someone of something, then at least do it in a grammatically correct way.

Second, that's a lot of conclusions for no apparent reason.

Third, don't like - don't look, the 'block' button exists for a reason, and I'm not here to provide a comfortable experience for you. You're the one responsible for that part.

With that out of the way, let me rant about how much I fucking despise J.K. Rowling.

Let me get this straight, though, her stance on trans rights is not the first or the main reason for my dislike. In all honesty, I don't have enough care in myself to touch internet drama with a ten foot pole, so all I know about it is that apparently Rowling hates trans people, which, yeah, fuck her.

By the way, what do you even consider 'supporting an author'? Buying their books or merch? Liking their Twitter posts? Defending them on social media? Because I've done literally none of that. I haven't even watched the movies, and I've never read the last book, because at the time it wasn't published (or written yet), and by the time it was, I was already into Eragon series and didn't care about Harry Potter.

Now, to the important part.

I fucking hate J.K. Rowling because of her absolute lack of comprehensive worldbuilding. She sucks at creating a logical system of magic, at her own world's history, economics, and politics. Nothing in her books makes sense.

Why do the wizards need wands? Why do they write with quills on parchment when there's paper and notebooks and goddamn ink pens and color pencils? Why don't they teach math in Hogwarts? Why don't the teachers have, like, some introductory lessons or at least books for muggleborn or muggle-raised students? What the fuck was that 'power of mother's love' bullshit? Where did that story about Peverell Brothers and Death come from, and why didn't anyone think to mention it when Harry first got the Invisibility Cloak? Why in the world is the entrance to the Chamber of Secrets in the girl's bathrooms of all places? Why is there a subject for Ancient Runes but no one fucking uses runes? Why didn't Harry sign up for Muggle Studies, it would have been an easy grade? Why was Hermione the only one to have a time-turner in the whole school, she was fucking thirteen, what was McGonagall thinking? Where are any kind of PE lessons? Why the everloving fuck was Triwizard Tournament held at a school, with teenagers participating? What's more, why couldn't they choose the champions beforehand so the visiting schools didn't have to transport their whole student bodies over for a year? Why were they fighting dragons when it's common knowledge that no sane adult person would dare to do that alone by themselves? What was that arch in the Ministry where Sirius died? What the fuck was even going on for the most part of the series?

None of it makes an ounce of sense. Every fucking event in the books is a product of poor imagination and lack of logic. Rowling is fucking dumb as a brick. I've heard five-year-olds come up with stories that had more reason than the whole Harry Potter series.

Have you seen the 'map of wizarding schools' she came up with? That thing makes me feel the rage of a thousand men. One single school for the whole damn Africa? Bitch, there are over fifty countries there, each with their own language, how do you expect them to communicate? Not to mention India and China having one school for both of them, do you have any idea of the population of both of those countries? That school must be, like, a size of a city, not to mention culture differences and language barriers again.

Also, what was that fucking thing about kids flying on whole ass trees instead of brooms in Koldovstvorets, that one offends me personally. Not to mention the actual name of that school, because it translates to 'magic palace', are you kidding me?

I can keep ranting about this for hours, and never run out, but this is getting rather long, so I'm going to wrap this part up. Just know that the whole of Rowling's worldbuilding is a ton of bullshit that has no right to be as popular as it got.

Yet, I do like the general idea that she had. The magic world that is hidden inside the real one, the whole charms and spells aesthetic, a castle full of secret passages, and all that old classic English vibe to it. It could have been good. It could have been marvelous, if Rowling had, like, a few more braincells. Alas, she didn't, and here we are.

A few years ago, I've found a fic on ao3, 'survival is a talent' by ShanaStoryteller. It's a Series Retold, and it's incomplete. If you haven't read it, I really advise you to, it's perfect in a way the original will never be. Ever since I've read it, I decided that that fic is my canon version of Harry Potter.

On a different note, I think that at this point, HP fandom and J.K. Rowling exist in two different dimensions. That woman had created a world, yes, but it doesn't belong to her anymore, it belongs to everyone who enjoys it. She clearly doesn't, she only enjoys the profit she is making from it.

If you've made it this far through my Harry Potter related rant, thank you, and have a beautiful day <3

[ash-whimsicalfanfic]

We Got That Love, The Crazy Kind

Mattheo Riddle X Fem OC/Reader

Word Count: 2153

Warnings: Suggestive, fluff, mild language, torture, blood…

Prompt: Mattheo is awkward about showing affection to you in public, so you both are in a bit of an argument. However, Lavendar has a crush on Mattheo and you’ve had enough. Oliver decides to flirt with you and Mattheo wasn’t having it.

*Y/N’s POV*

“How long are you and Mattheo going to keep up this silent treatment?” Pansy asks, the both of us walking towards the courtyard.

“Until he can start treating me like I’m his girlfriend. I’m tired of the way he treats me in public. It’s like…he’s embarrassed of me.” I say, shaking my head upset.

I saw that he was sitting by a tree with Lorenzo Berkshire, Blaise Zambini, Draco Malfoy, and Theodore Nott. Our friends, however since this whole argument with Mattheo and I started, I’ve been sitting elsewhere with Pansy.

She didn’t have to sit with me, but she was a good friend even though I knew how close she was with the guys. Not to mention, Draco is her boyfriend. Yet, she decides to sit with me so I won’t be alone.

“I heard he broke up with her.” I hear.

“Yeah. They did. Because he couldn’t get enough of me. Mattheo…he’s good.” Lavender says.

“Whatever you do, and whatever your thinking, don’t do it.” Pansy pleads, but I stand as she curses.

I start walking towards the table she sat at with her friends as Pansy started to speed walk towards the tree where the guys were. I grabbed Lavendar by her hair and she cries out in pain. I drag her off the bench and let her fall to the ground. I wait until she stands up, glaring at me. I lunge at her, pinning her to the wall as I punch her repeatedly.

All I saw was red.

I’ve heard girls talk about Mattheo, but typically they stop when they see the glare I give them. Lavender doesn’t know when to stop.

“I don’t know what your obsession with my boyfriend is, but I’ve had it.” I snap breathlessly between punches.

“Ms. Y/L/N, enough.” Umbridge warns.

I ignore her when I see her pull her wand out. She points it at me.

“Petrificus Totalus!” She shouts, but I pulled my wand free, pointing it in the direction of her and shout, “Protego!”

She gasps, seeming shocked I would fight a spell. I let Lavendar fall to the ground as her friends rush towards her. I look at Umbridge who looked red in the face and was ready to fire another spell off at me.

“Expelliarmus!” I shout.

Her wand goes flying away from her and I storm out of the courtyard, heading towards the Slytherin dorms. I get to mine, slamming the door shut and locking it before going to my bathroom. I close the door, locking it as I look at myself in the mirror.

What have I done?

I’m suppose to mad at him, yet I can’t ignore what Lavendar says…he wouldn’t do that to me. He wouldn’t be with someone else…right? No…that’s…that’s not my Mattheo.

Who said he was still your Mattheo?

I shake my head, ignoring the stinging in my eyes. I turn the water on and watch the water turn a red-pink color as it washes away Lavendar’s and I’s blood. I grab my wand, pointing at one hand.

“Episkey.” I whisper.

I watch the hand heal before I grab my wand and point it at my other hand, doing the same. I look at myself in the mirror. Who have I become?

I was forced to stand at the front of the class and receive my punishment from Umbridge. She grabs her chair and makes me sit.

“You’ll be punished for the fight you started and then you’ll be punished for ignoring orders from a Professor.” She says.

She gave me a notepad and a quill. I was very aware of what this meant.

“How many lines?” I ask.

“I’ll let you know when it’s finished. I want you to write, “I will not disobey orders”, understood?” She asks.

“Understood.” I say shortly.

I clench my jaw, starting to write my lines as if it didn’t bother me. I ignored the stinging at the back of my eyes and focused on the quill in hand as she taught away. I take in a slow deep breath before letting it out. Blood dripped down my hand and was dripping to the floor. My hands shook slightly, but I continued to do as asked.

“Alright. Good. It’s been half the class. How’s your hand?” She asks.

“Peachy.” I say bluntly, looking up at her with a blank stare.

“Is this you talking back?” She asks.

“You’d know if I was talking back. What next?” I ask.

“I don’t think your punishment is working,” she says as she pulls her wand out, “imperio.”

“What the hell are you doing?” I ask.

“Take the quill, write on your arm. Write mudblood. Until I say stop.” She says.

“You can’t do this!” Mattheo snaps.

“It’s against the rules.” Harry adds, looking quite frightened.

I grimace as I bring the quill to my arm and it digs into it as I write the saying I’ve heard all across my life. I close my eyes, my hand moving and continuously writing “mudblood” into my arm, going deeper each time.

“Mr. Riddle, Mr. Potter, enough. I can punish my students how I like. Maybe this will teach her a lesson.” She says, before going back to teaching.

I opened my eyes, looking at the word that was carved into my arm. A word that haunts me far too much. Maybe that’s why Mattheo is so embarrassed of me. I’m a mudblood. That is who I will always be.

“Alright Ms. Y/L/N, you can stop.” She says and I felt a weight lifted off me.

I throw the quill and pad of paper in her direction as I stand, walking out of the room as I ignore her calls. I get to the Slytherin dorms and Snape stops me.

“It’ll scar, but let me heal it.” He says.

“It’s fine.” I mutter.

He grabs my arm with a sigh, using his wand to heal it. I nod before walking away towards my dorm where I close the door and lock it.

I pull my shirt off and pull on a long-sleeve, wanting to hide that horrid word before I lay on my bed. I hear a knock on my door, but I ignore it.

“It’s me.” Pansy says.

I stay quiet, staring at the wall. She sighs, knocking again.

“Let me in. Let us in. We want to make sure your okay. That wasn’t okay of Umbridge to do. That was…torture.” She says.

“I’m okay. I want to be alone, so leave me alone.” I say calmly, fighting my turmoil of emotions.

I couldn’t avoid them forever. I avoided them for a good two weeks, by holing myself up in my dorm. Snape brought me my work, but he said I had to return to my classes today.

I was dressed in a long-sleeve shirt and a pair of ripped jeans. I never wore long-sleeves, but I couldn’t get that horrid word off my arm.

I put my hair up in a messy bun, looking at myself in the mirror blankly. I’ve gotten paler over the past two weeks which could be from not eating like I normally should. I had bags under my eyes and my eyes in general just looked tired.

I grab my bag and wand before I began to head towards Umbridge’s class. I walk in and she looks at me surprised.

“And I thought you left Hogwarts.” She mocks.

“And I wish someone Avada Kedavra’d you. Yet, your still here.” I say tiredly, going to my empty seat at the back of the class.

“Do we need to repeat your punishment?” She asks.

“Go on with teaching. Your punishment did nothing the first time and I doubt it would do anything this time.” I snap.

“And detention, Potter. I said, Cedric’s death was a tragic accident.” She says, turning her focus on him.

“Like your birth?” I ask annoyed.

“Y/n, enough.” Mattheo’s whispers harshly.

“Y/L/N, leave my classroom now. I’ve had enough.” She says calmly.

“Gladly.” I say, standing to gather my stuff as she starts to lecture me.

“Umbitch. Lecturing me, and shouting at me, and telling me to hurry up isn’t going to get me to move faster. You should’ve been killed months ago cause you are such a pain in the ass. How did you end up here? Honestly because you are pretty fucked up,” I say, laughing before looking at her, “and you don’t own me.”

I walk out of the room as Draco whistles.

“Damn.” Mattheo mutters.

I was in the courtyard working on my studies as everyone else finally filed out. I was sitting at the table Pansy and I had been occupying before I holed myself up in my room. Pansy and the guys join us.

“Hey, how are you?” Pansy asks softly.

“I don’t need pity and treated like I’m so broken glass doll.” I say, flipping the page of my textbook.

“We are your friends. We care about you.” She says.

“Well care less.” I say annoyed.

“Snape said it scarred.” She says.

“And if it did?” I ask.

“I know how much you hate that word. Your a powerful witch though. Better than Granger. Let me see it.” She says.

“Y/N.” Oliver says.

“Yes, Oliver?” I ask, looking up.

“Can we talk…alone?” He asks.

My eyebrows furrow, but I nod slowly. I follow him towards a tree that wasn’t occupied, away from everyone. My eyes flicker to my table to see that they kept glancing over and Mattheo was watching intently. I didn’t miss the look of jealously.

“Would you like to go out with me sometime?” He asks.

“Your pathetic, Oliver! You called me over here, to ask me out when you know I have boyfriend!” I exclaim, glaring at him.

“He doesn’t have to know. And he acts like you both aren’t together anyway. I can treat you better.” He says.

“In your wildest dreams, Wood. Get away.” I snap, going to walk past him, but he grabs my arm.

I pull my arm free, backing myself up against a tree as he steps forward. He brushes a strand of hair out of my face that must’ve fallen out from the bun.

“It’s always been you, Y/L/N. Mattheo doesn’t have to know about this. You and I…we’d be a better couple. I could treat you better.” He says.

“You’re a real piece of work, Wood. I love Mattheo, even if he doesn’t show his feelings towards me in public, I love him. Nothing will happen between you and me. Now, let me go.” I snap.

*Mattheo’s POV*

“I think Oliver is flirting with her.” Draco says.

I watch her and could tell she was uncomfortable. She seems upset after whatever he says and was glaring at him. She goes to walk past him, but he grabs her arm and I clench my jaw.

“Don’t do it man.” Theo warns.

“Ah shit. He’s backed her up against the tree and is going in for a kiss.” Lorenzo says.

I get up, storming towards the two of them and I push Oliver down to the ground as Pansy pulls Y/N into a hug.

“Okay, motherfucker now you got my attention.” I say, grinning as I start throwing punches at him.

“Not again.” Lorenzo sighs.

“Mattheo! Come on man! Stop! Umbridge will flip!” Draco snaps.

He and Lorenzo were trying to pull me off of Oliver, but all I saw was red. He touched her and he knew she is mine.

“Don’t you ever fucking touch her again! She’s mine, Wood! Next time I’ll kill you!” I snap.

“Mattheo…please.” She whispers.

I freeze, before looking over my shoulder to see that Pansy and Theodore were holding her back from coming to me. I’ll thank them for that later. Oliver hits me, and I turn back to him and hit him again before getting up.

I walk to her, pulling her towards me. She looks up at me with watery eyes. I lose a hand in her hair, messing up the bun. I pull her closer to me as I lean down and kiss her roughly.

Her hands rest on my chest as she kisses me back. I pull away, resting my head against her forehead as I look into her gorgeous (your eye color) eyes.

“I love you.” She says softly.

“Your mine.” I snap.

“I’m yours.” She says, smiling slightly.

I pull away before throwing her over my shoulder. She gasps, hitting my back as she snaps at me to put her down.

“Not happening. I’ll put you down when we get to my dorm.” I say and her cheeks flush as Draco “ooohs”.

“Mattheo!” She exclaims embarrassed.

“They got that love.” Lorenzo chuckles.

“Yeah, the crazy kind.” Pansy teases.

[mercwiththem0uth]

he has risen, baby girl

warnings/themes; deadpool/wade wilson x fem!reader, detailed smut (18+), established relationship, strong language, missionary sex, no use of condoms, use of sex toys, dirty talk, phone sex, pet-names (lol), lowercase intended

i started writing this monthsss ago and i finally finished and uploaded it (you're welcome). anyway i love wade wilson i need him in a way that is unhealthy.

the ending is poor as i didn't know how to finish it lol p.s this is not proof-read as it's past 2am sorryyyy

you laid spread out on the bed, completely in the nude, waiting for your boyfriend to come out of the bathroom. it was often that the two of you would have sex when he returned home from a mission, because all that fighting and anger always got him so riled up and turned on. however this evening was slightly different. he came limping through the front door, hands clasped over his crotch, because in his words, the "crown jewels have been destroyed". he had been shot. through the dick.

and naturally he was extremely pissed off about it, because sometimes "the only dignity a male has is in his manhood"... but mainly because his girl had to wait even longer before she "got a good pounding". again, his words...

he had been in the bathroom cleaning up, and waiting (praying) for his cock to heal and regenerate. you were growing impatient, and increasingly horny, listening to your boyfriend's muffled moaning and grunting from the ensuite. you felt bad because you knew his noises were purely from his pain, but he had made it abundantly clear that you were not allowed in there to help him. "some things are just not meant for you to see, princess". you also felt bad about being ready for sex when your partner has a literal bullet-hole through his shaft, but you had been craving him all day, and you knew that wade would still try and fuck you on his deathbed if he could. besides, he literally instructed you to be out here ready and waiting for him, so you could hardly say no.

the core between your legs ached, and your attempts at squeezing and rubbing your thighs together were not cutting it anymore. "wade? everything okay?" you called out, and only received a "mhmm" in return. you huffed and rolled over, reaching into your bedside drawer and retrieving your magic wand vibrator. going to turn it on, you sighed at the low battery light flashing at you. you would have ignored it and used up the last of its power, but wade was going away for a few days tomorrow, so, much to your dismay, you decided to plug it into charge, knowing that you'd be grateful for this sacrifice right now when you're due to have a lonely night.

you lowered your fingers to your clit, beginning to lightly trace it with your fingertips needing to release some pressure, when you suddenly heard many excited "yes" and "finally"s coming from the bathroom. you perked up in excitement, moving your fingers against yourself faster through the eagerness.

the bathroom door suddenly swung open, your boyfriend's naked, muscular figure appearing in the doorway, arms outwardly expanded, with an erection on full-display. "he has risen, baby girl" he called out, like he was determined for the world to know. you smiled, biting your lip as you watched him slowly walk towards you. he stood over you at the side of the bed and sighed with deep relief, proudly looking down at his penis that he rubbed gently in his hand. "thank the heavens for that, sweet cheeks. i thought i'd never get to fuck you again."

"well that's what it certainly feels like" you teased, a hint of seriousness in your voice as you looked at him, still horny out of your mind.

"ohh, giving me a bit of attitude are we?" he snarked, climbing slowly onto the bed and laying down to face you. "well i'm sorry baby doll, but i don't think you would've wanted me to take you to pound-town with a gaping crater in my cock." you tried to resist a smirk at his silly remark, as you reached down to take him into your hand, your thumb rubbing over the fresh area of skin. his eyes closed as he began to relax, before you spoke up. "i don't think so, mister. no handjobs tonight. i just need you to fuck me." he opened one eye and raised an eyebrow at you, watching as you let go of his cock and laid down on your back, waiting for him.

he rolled to hover over you, resting his weight on his elbows as he leaned down for a kiss. you wrapped your legs tightly around his waist in an attempt to bring him closer to you to finally have him where you needed him the most. you felt him try and add some tongue to the kiss, but you pulled back breathlessly. "just put it inside me already" you weren't in the mood for foreplay, you were already too far past that point.

"that wasn't very polite, princess" wade said, pulling back to sit on his knees as he straddled your lap. "i think you'll have to ask nicely first."

you huffed and threw your head back against the pillows, a frustrated groan escaping your throat. that's the thing about wade, he gets off on teasing you and making you beg, even when it's most inconvenient for you. "please" you said half-bluntly, watching as wade shrugged and shook his head. "oh darling, i think you can do better than that."

you scoffed as tears brimmed in your eyes, having been pushed past desperation. wade watching closely, "you're such a spoiled brat, you know that?" he cooed in a hushed tone, leaning forward to brush some fallen hair out of your eyes. "i'll let you off, just this once." you didn't have much time to process his words before his tip was slowly entering you. you gasped at the feeling, your body finally getting what it wants. "so wet," he whispered to himself, "absolutely soaked".

he sunk all the way in, the both of you moaning loudly as he reached full capacity. you gasped, gripping his shoulders as you attempted to grind and roll your hips against him. "ah, ah," he tutted, grasping your waist tightly to halt your movements "patience, kitten." he leaned forward to hover over you again, your legs naturally raising in the air, as he began to finally rock into you. you moaned loudly, running your hands over his head and neck, finally feeling so much relief. "so needy for deadpool" he whispered into your ear, giving the lobe a gentle nip with his teeth. "aren't you?" he continued, "getting yourself in such a mess for daddy."

all you could do was nod your head, wade's quickening movements completely knocking the words out of you. he fully sped up, your legs weakening as they dropped down against the bed lazily. the loud sound of skin slapping roughly together was almost completely drowned out by your moans and shouts of profanities. "fuck," wade grunted in your ear as he continued to plough into you. "your whining is so fucking hot." his dirty talk only made you whine louder, nails digging roughly into his back.

wade eventually slowed his movements and sat back up on his knees, dragging you slightly down the bed with him. you remained on your back, the back of your thighs resting over his, as his hands hooked underneath your legs to hold you in place before thrusting into you again. the new position added new waves of pleasure, causing you to throw your head back and choke on a moan. he gripped your legs tightly, thrusting steadily, his large cock filling you up so deeply with each movement of his hips. "wade-... feels so... good".

something to the side of the bed on the floor caught wade's attention, and you didn't notice his eyes narrow with his exciting plan. you groaned as he stopped his movements and pulled out, lifting your head to look at him in annoyance, but furrowing your brows in confusion when you saw him leaning over the side of the bed. "what are you d-" your question was cut off when he sat back up holding your retrieved vibrator. he looked at you wiggling his eyebrows, causing you to smile and roll your eyes. "been having some fun today, princess?"

"i wish," you said sarcastically, tilting your head to the side, "i was gonna use it when you were in the bathroom, but it was almost out of charge."

he nodded, muttering to himself "naughty girl, running it dry" before turning it on to see the battery level. "just over half-way. that'll do nicely." he held the base of his penis and ran it over your pussy, smothering himself in your juices before entering you again, rocking his hips slowly. you soon heard the buzzing noise of your toy and waited eagerly. he remained on his knees, bringing the toy down to your clit as he continued to pump into you. as it made contact, your mouth gaped open with a gasp and your head flung back, your back arching slightly. he relished at the sight and couldn't help but speed up, fucking you harder and causing you to cry out.

"fuck! wade!" you almost screamed, eyes screwed tightly closed.

"yeah," he grunted, "you like that, don't you baby?" his voice was strained and rough, struggling to focus on anything but the pleasure. you just moaned in response, unable to form any coherent words or thoughts.

wade's thick shaft was bottomed out inside of you, his hips rolling and grinding against your own. his head was cradled in your neck as he leaned over you, gently moaning in your ear. his thumb remained over the control settings of the vibrator, pressing random buttons to increase the speed and send you over the edge. your thighs shook rapidly as you climaxed, the tight coil in your stomach finally unravelling, letting you see and feel fireworks.

you'd never orgasmed so hard in your life.

wade let you ride out your high before pulling out and ejaculating all over your lower stomach, moaning loudly. his hand dropping the vibrator and swapped with his cock, pulling every last drop out of himself.

you laid completely breathless underneath him, chest heaving and legs still trembling. wade leaned down and pressed a few kisses to your chest and neck, before heading to the bathroom. he returned with a warm flannel cloth and gently cleaned you up, chuckling lightly to himself as you squirmed under his touch. "oh kitten, so sensitive" he whispered.

he laid beside you, pulling you into his arms. "you did a number on me, wade wilson" you mumbled tiredly into his chest, already feeling exhausted.

you felt him smile against your hair as he pressed kisses to the top of your head. "when i go away, you need to use that during phone sex. need to hear those pathetic moans."

"noted", you yawned, using the last of your energy to lightly kick the wand off the bed, telling yourself that you'll clean it and charge it in the morning.

it was a few days later, you laid on your bed with your phone pressed to your ear and your fingers down the front of your panties, listening to wade talking filth to you.

"come on then sweetheart, get that vibe out" he purred, staring down at the tight tent that was forming in his underwear. you rolled over and reached into your drawer, beginning to rummage frantically when you couldn't find it.

"shit..." you cursed under your breath, leaning your head over the side of the bed to peer underneath it.

"fuck!" you exclaimed angrily, spotting the wand laying under the bed, where you had discarded and forgotten about it just days ago.

"what's the matter, doll-face? out of charge?" wade asked, and you could practically hear the smirk stretching across his face.

"... you knew, didn't you?" your voice lowered as you sat flustered and frustrated on your bed.

"i don't know what you're talking about, baby cakes" your boyfriend teased.

"why didn't you remind me" you whined, squeezing your legs together to ease the aching, just like you had done a few nights prior.

"it's more fun this way" his laugh crackled down the phone, a frustrated groan erupting from your throat as you dramatically laid yourself down against the bed.

"you're such an arsehole!" you cursed at him, listening as he continued to laugh.

"i'll see you tomorrow, sweet cheeks", he said teasingly, "have a fun night." he made kissy noises as he hung up, leaving you horny, annoyed and alone.

he had no idea that when he returns, he'll be in for a long night of teasing and silent treatment.

[bridenore]

HD eight year fic recs : less than 10k words

Here are a few drarry eight year fic recs that are less than 10k words. Posted in alphabetical order, as always.

All I Have to Do by @fluxweeed [9k]

The Patented Daydream Charm (Adult Edition) allows you to enter a top-quality, highly realistic thirty-minute sexual fantasy. Solitude and privacy spells advised. or: Draco finally has some alone time; Harry just needs to nip in for a book.

All We Want Is Danger by @cassiaratheslytherpuff [9k]

Something weird was happening to Draco. It wasn’t something Harry was used to being concerned about. He’d spent most of sixth year sure that Draco was up to something, yes, but this was different. This was – something was off. Wrong. Harry had never in his life been scared of Draco. And yet, something about him had changed enough to make the hair rise on the back of Harry’s neck every time he entered a room. The feeling was only made stranger by the rush of arousal that usually came along with it.

Alpha by @lqtraintracks [2k]

Finding out I’m Malfoy’s Alpha and he’s my Omega might have gone a lot differently had we not still hated each other. But we do, so here’s how it goes

Aurora by @wolfpants [5k]

Eighth Year at a half-built Hogwarts, and Harry is not following Draco Malfoy anymore. At least, that's what he's telling himself.

Awake in the Night by venis_envy [2k]

H/D Post war, eighth year Hogwarts.

Back to You by aibidil & daisymondays [8k]

The eighth years make Harry and Malfoy go head to head and back to back in a question-and-answer drinking game. The worst that can happen is they end up drunk, right?

Bare Feet, Giant Squid, and One Perfect Moment by bryoneybrynn [4k]

Gryffindor may be the House of the brave but Harry’s feeling a bit nervous. It’s one thing to face a dragon or a Dark Lord. It’s quite another to make a move on the bloke who’s been your nemesis for the last eight years…

Brandishing The Wand by @ladderofyears [2k]

When four Eighth Year boys overhear Draco and Harry having sex in the dormitory bathroom, each jumps to a very erroneous conclusion.

Checking out the Opposition by birdsofshore [6k]

Harry and Draco seem quite wound up after their latest game of Quidditch.

The Comfiest Armchair by @xanthippe74 [2k]

In which Harry and Draco won’t stop fighting over the best armchair in the Eighth-Year common room, Hermione takes matters into her own hands, and Harry sees a (ahem) side of Draco that he’s never seen before.

Empty Nights by  winterstorrm [4k]

Draco and Harry have had this ‘thing’ for months now. It’s ‘just sex’ though, right?

Erase the Shame by FleetofShippyShips [6k]

An Inter-House unity party is the last thing Draco wants to go to. It's not long into a game of Truth or Dare when he is reminded why. But maybe his dare is worth it after all.

Flutter by @shiftylinguini [4k]

Being back at Hogwarts is not what Harry expected, and neither is what’s going on between himself and Malfoy, but it feels good, and that? Well, that’s what Harry’s chasing this year. Amid the rebuilding of the school and the budding relationships of the other students at Hogwarts in spring, Harry finds that the flutter of change and the new feelings it brings are exactly what he wants ― and more.

Games Night by @agentmoppet [6k]

Harry has no idea why Hermione decided that an inter-house Games Night would be a good idea, but he’s here now, and he intends to beat Malfoy, no matter what game he chooses. But, who would have thought muggle games could be full of so much... tension?

A Ghost of Blissful Feelings by @alpha-exodus [6k]

Harry hadn’t expected to spend his eighth year fucking Draco Malfoy, but it’s the only thing that helps him let go.

A Good Place to Start by JET_Playin [2k]

Harry is finding 8th year rather dull until he goes to visit Hagrid and ends up helping him deliver Draco Malfoy’s baby. Now he has to protect Malfoy and keep his secrets and he might just be falling a little in love with both Malfoys just to complicate matters.

Good to Me (And I’d Be So Good to You) by AWickedMemory [8k]

Everyone returns to Hogwarts after the war, but nothing is quite the same. Harry’s groupies are creepier than ever, Ron and Hermione are snogging all over the place, and the once-proud Draco is shuffling around like a kicked puppy. But that’s okay: Harry’s got a plan.

Grow by @shiftylinguini [3k]

There’s an abandoned greenhouse, right at the back of the lot. There are unruly trees, and snagged brambles, and the grass is long and lush. It feels like the Forest, but tamer somehow, and Draco likes it. It feels like the spot where the castle meets the wild, or where the wild is trying to creep back in. There’s something mildly thrilling about it at night, the potential for danger, for something to look back at Draco as he stares into the dark, lush woods. Draco’s always loved that feeling.   This is where they meet.

Jump Into the Fog by taradiane [9k]           

Draco returns to Hogwarts for his eighth year carrying a secret that will change not just his life, but Harry’s as well.

Of the Heart's Fullness and Of the Coming Emptiness by tout a coup [9k]

Harry Potter is nineteen, and he's already peaked.

An Old Habit by fireflavored [8k]

The boys have changed a lot over the summer after the war, but Harry hasn’t got over the urge to spy on Malfoy. 

A Pain of Our Choosing by @lqtraintracks [5k]

It’s 8th year and everyone’s still a bit messed up. Harry and Draco fall into being messed up together.

Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kneazles by curiouslyfic [1k]

Harry sort of comes back to the world to the sound of sniffling, which strikes him as odd.

Room for Improvement by acromantular [2k]

Malfoy’s family-rehabilitation project is going so well. But is Potter worth risking all his hard work?

Sexplanations (Of the Horrible Sort) by @bixgirl1 [7k]

Harry’s willing to put up with a certain amount of injury, as long as he and Malfoy can keep doing… whatever it is they’re doing. Maybe. Mostly. Especially if there might be more to it than sex. Based on a tumblr headcanon.

Snug by @moonflower-rose [6k]

Potter can’t keep his hands off himself. Draco can’t look away.

Sores by mijeli [3k]

It’s been going on for weeks. They don’t talk about it.

Speechless by mayberry_rose [6k]

In which Draco can’t speak, and Harry learns to listen.

Starting Positions by @bixgirl1 [8k]

Later, Harry would wonder if Malfoy regretted that first, surprised mutter after three days of hard-pointed silence. Later, Harry would wonder about his own lack of regret over looking up when he heard Malfoy’s voice. But that would come after everything had already happened, the way events always seemed to, when even a Time-Turner couldn’t change things. The shape of a path, as Harry knew very well by then, once walked, was a lot like a paper crane — unfolded and pressed flat, you could try to fashion it into something different, but the original creases would always remain.

Storm in a Teacup by @faith2wood [7k]

For reasons he’d rather not think about, Draco is obsessed with Potter’s hair. This cannot end well.

swallow your words by icarusinflight [9k]

The truth is, not many things are known about the magic that is behind soulmarks. They’ll turn up when they want and not before. The truth is, you don’t get a choice in your soulmark. The truth is, not everyone is okay with that.

This Heart Shut Wide by @xanthippe74 [4k]

It’s New Year’s Eve and Draco refuses to talk to anyone at this wretched party in the Eighth-Year common room. He’s going to ignore Harry Potter and not think about snogging him in the staircase earlier. And he’s definitely not going to let himself fuck up both their lives by continuing the reckless game they’re playing. As usual, nothing goes according to Draco’s plan.

Trouble with your tie, Potter? by @tenthousandyearsx​ [6k]

The last thing Harry expects when Slughorn partners him up with Zabini is Malfoy shooting them furious looks throughout the whole class and then unceremoniously snogging Harry in the corridor.

the Veela codec by curiouslyfic [3k]

Potter wants obvious. Draco wants Potter. Clearly, some sort of plan will be required.

What Potter Wants by birdsofshore [3k]

Harry definitely didn’t want to do that to Malfoy. Not at all. So why did Malfoy keep saying that he did?

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[thebestofoneshots]

Gilded Constellations | (wolfstar x reader)

Series Masterlist | Previous episode

Pairing: Wolfstar x Reader Word Count: 7 K Warnings: None Prompt: It'd just one more day before it's full moon again, you must make sure you've got the smell of the pack... This IS a Wolfstar x reader fic, but it's incredibly slow burn. They won't start all dating each other until we're very deep into the story, but I promise the long wait will be worth it. Proofread by lovely: @aremuslupinsimp

Chapter 38: Let the Good Times Roll

Wednesday, December 22nd. 2:15 AM

When the party was over, you went up to your room alongside Lily to change. She wasn’t talking to you yet. You tried to give her some space, but you didn’t like not being able to talk to her. You weren’t even sure if you should apologise to her, and if you did, For what? For saying nasty things to Severus? You certainly weren’t sorry about that. Maybe for implying her in? That had been unnecessary, even if you knew it would spite him. 

You sighed as you walked in, Marlene and Mary were fast asleep, and you cast a quick silencing spell over their bed so neither you nor Lily would wake them up.  You looked at the redhead as you raised your wand and she walked towards the bathroom to change, avoiding your gaze altogether. 

Your gaze fixated on the closed door, a subtle crease forming on your forehead, and after a brief, contemplative moment, you bit your lip and walked over to your trunk to find something to change into yourself, giving one last look at the door before focusing completely on your task. She was out while you finished putting on your socks, leaning down on the bed as you stared at the floor. You missed the way she looked at you, only for a split second, but it was a longing stare. 

You also didn’t notice she had walked over to your bed until you felt it dip by your side. The feeling prompted you to sit upright, turning to look at her as quickly as possible.  She seemed to be hesitant to speak so you broke the silence instead, “I’m sorry.” 

“Oh, love–” she said as her shoulders slumped. She was about to say something else, but then you interrupted her, speaking almost a little too fast as you attempted to order your thoughts at the same time as you spoke. 

“I shouldn’t have implicated you in my fight with Severus. I was very mad at him for pushing you and James but using your name and his pent-up feelings for you to piss him off was disrespectful. To you more than him. And I did not consider how it might have affected you then, and I’m really sorry if I made you upset–” 

“Hey,” she said softly, licking her lips before placing a hand on your arm, much like Remus did often. “I’m sorry too.” You let out a short, relieved breath at the contact, she doesn’t like it when we fight either.  “James told me how hard he was shoved,” she explained, “He broke most of it with his arm and the door so I wouldn’t get hurt, but you and Remus must have seen it first hand, of course, you’d be mad.” 

“It was pretty bad,” you agreed, if Lily had gotten the full extent of the blow, she might have been sore now. 

“And I shouldn’t have lashed out at you either. I’m not excusing you for saying the things you did but I wasn’t just…” she seemed to hesitate for a second, as if she wasn’t sure which words she should use. “I wasn’t just angry at you, I was angry at Severus and at how much he’s changed through the years. He’s insufferable now, and I’m sorry you had to be the one defending me against him when I should be the one standing up for myself, but you didn’t know him then, he was different.” 

“He called you a mudblood,” you said, “James a bIood traitor and Remus a–” You didn’t even dare to say it. “I shouldn’t have used you, but there will never be a moment in which I won’t defend my friends, Lily. Even if it’s from their own friends.” 

It was her turn to sigh, “I know, it’s what I admire the most from you.” 

You leaned your head to the side, a soft smile drawing itself on your lips. “I admire your noble heart,” you said. “And your ability to stay calm in these kinds of situations. You’re like Remus, all warm and calm and conciliating–” 

“Oh, come on, you’ve seen me mad plenty of times.”

“Well yes, but you still manage to keep your head cool, I mean if Severus had–” you stopped yourself, you did not want to upset her further, instead you mumbled. “Might have punched him.”

“And be the aggressive Mudblood?” she asked you, your gaze almost fell at her words. She smiled bitterly, “I don’t have the luxury to retaliate like that.” 

You swallowed thickly. “It would be more than justified I–” you sighed. And then gave her another worried look, reaching your hand to grab hers. “I never even factored that in.” 

The weight of your privilege, the one bestowed upon you by your father who was keen on keeping up appearances of bIood purity, suddenly bore down on you. The privilege of not having to worry about your abilities, or having to prove how good you were simply to belong had never been more evident to you.

Of course, you had your own battles to fight, the world was still not fair for you, for any of your friends, really. But what Lily had to go through, the kind of bigotry she was exposed to and how she had to behave because of it, made you see her in a new light. Hours ago, if anyone told you, you’d admire Lily more than you did, you would have called them mad, and here you were, looking at your beautiful redhead friend and feeling nothing but utmost admiration for her. 

She smiled at you. “Thanks for being my knight in shining armour.” 

“Thanks for being the pure heart that holds me down when I’m about to go mad,” you responded with a smile. 

And then, laughter rippled through the room, a shared moment of catharsis. You let yourself fall on the bed, both you and Lily now staring at the wooden headboards and red curtains surrounding it. “Lily,” you began, your voice carrying a genuine warmth, “I don’t want to ever lose you as a friend.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I’ll latch onto you like a leech, I’ll be worse than Sirius even, you cannot get rid of me that easily.” 

“Not even if I hex Severus?” 

“Of course not,” she said with a laugh, but she quickly turned to look at you. “You’re not planning to hex him though, are you?” she asked in a worried tone. 

You just laughed in return. “Don’t worry about that, he’ll be suffering his own little issues tonight,” you said in a rather mysterious tone. 

She gasped, “What did you do?” 

“Me? Nothing.” You answered honestly. “In fact, it was he who stole the treat I was about to eat.” 

She threw you a look, “And you had nothing to do with it?” 

You shrugged, “Not my fault he and his gang are such gits.”  

Lily shook her head disapprovingly even if she had a smile plastered on her face. You stayed next to each other for a while. Eventually, she yawned, and you followed closely after. “You can stay on my bed if you want.” 

“Mhm?” She asked as she accommodated herself so her feet would be up on the bed and not resting on the ground like they had been previously since the two of you had been sitting on the edge, “You’re going with the boys? Because of the moon and the experiment Peter suggested, right?” 

You nodded in response, and then realised her eyes were closed, “Yes.” 

“Good night then,” she said and yawned again. You stood from the bed and brought over some covers from hers to place them on top of her since you had both laid on top of yours. As you did you leaned over to look at her and accommodated her hair behind her ear, you could see some of the freckles she always tried to hide with potions but that you found truly endearing. No wonder James liked her so much, your friend was gorgeous, but that was something you’d always known. 

You were too emotionally stirred to see the difference, while you considered both Lily and Remus your closest friends, and while you were attracted to girls, you didn’t even once look at Lily the exact same way you had looked at Remus through the night. The hunger that you felt for the latter was nothing compared to the sheer love and admiration you felt for the redhead. Two very different emotions, and they were there for two very different reasons, but you were still too blind to see. The blindfold, although slowly becoming sheerer, was still there. 

“I’m glad we’re still friends,” you whispered as you finished tucking her in. Then you made sure the rest of the girls were asleep before going back to the boy’s room. 

Now, it’s not that you were eager to go back to Remus. In fact, you thought you had ogled him enough with the horny potion still running through your system throughout the party –and it wasn’t gone entirely yet– but, just like Lily had mentioned, tomorrow was full moon. 

And while the couple of nights you had bunked with the boys had been enough, according to Remus who confirmed Vixen smelled like part of the pack, you had all agreed that the night before the full moon would be the most important. For a couple of reasons: first of all, the closer you smelled to the pack when Moony showed up, the more chances you would have to be accepted by him. Second, after the party, there was a high chance other people’s smells had been mixed in with your own, and thirdly, Remus said it would make him feel at ease knowing that Vixen smelled like nothing other than the pack. 

You wanted Remus to be at ease, especially in the particularly complicated time he had just before the moon, so you had all decided you’d meet again after the party was over. James had even lent his cloak so you could sneak out of your room and into theirs quietly. 

“What are you doing?” You heard someone whisper in your ear which had you jump a few feet back as you looked around. You had the cloak on, there was no fucking way… “Saw your door open.” The voice explained. 

You frowned, finally recognizing him, “Richie?!” 

“Boo,” he said as he became visible right in front of you, you stayed safely under the cloak.

“What– what are you doing in the Gryffindor tower?” 

“Can’t a ghost roam around freely in the castle?” He asked, with a slightly dramatic tone, ever so characteristic of him.  And then looked to the side pointing at the spot where your voice was coming from. “Kinda rude you don’t show yourself after I have.” 

You rolled your eyes, even if he couldn’t see it. “Well, if you haven’t noticed, I’m quite literally in the middle of sneaking out of my dorm at three AM, of course, I cannot step out of my hideout,” you whispered.

He hummed at that, “I still think it’s rude,” he said with a shrug. 

“How did the portrait lady let you in?” 

“She didn’t, I sneaked in. You’re not the only one with secret passages knowledge,” he said, a little haughtily. 

You gave him an incredulous look, hardly remembering he couldn’t actually see it. “And you came over because…” 

“I was bored, thought of giving the first years something to talk about in their Christmas break,” he responded with a shrug. 

“Poor kids,” you said as you shook your head in disapproval. 

“What about you?” he countered. “Why are you sneaking out at three in the morning? Are you planning a new prank with your boyfriends?” 

You couldn’t quite tell Richie what you were going to do, let alone who you were going to do it with, so it was best to just lie. “Boyfriend, and yes, something like that.” 

Richie gave the nothingness a look of incredulity, you thought it was funny that even though he was the ghost, he was the one with a slightly lost gaze as he talked exclusively to your voice. “You keep telling yourself that, little witch.” He said the last thing on purpose, he had heard Remus call you that, and he wanted to tease you over it. Maybe then you’d fucking realise what he had seen a while ago, but you and your stupid boyfriends failed to see. 

You shuddered when he said your nickname, no one used that one but Remus. Not even Sirius that seemed to have about 10 different nicknames for you. You certainly did not like the way it sounded when Richie said it. Was it because it sounded a lot more patronizing rather than endearing? Or was it only you who perceived it that way? Of course, you weren’t about to tell him that you didn’t like it when he said it, he had already teased you about nicknames in the past. You did not want to give him yet another reason to be annoying. 

You sighed. “Anyway, I’ll let you torture the poor kids, I have somewhere to be.” 

“No, wait!” Richie said as he turned to follow your voice. “Where are you going?” 

“Boys dorms,” you said honestly. He gave you a look, eyebrows raised and a suggestive smile. You would have nudged him if you could actually touch him. “For the prank you dirty-minded ghost!” 

“Of course, of course,” he said as he moved his head from side to side, brows furrowed slightly, his voice dripping with playful condescence. 

You huffed at that, worst part was, with the potion that was –now you knew– clearly not gone entirely, you had easily gone back to the thoughts of Remus and Sirius and the fact that you’d actually be sleeping next to the two of them. Your only hope left was that said potion did not emit any sort of effect on Vixen. And that your fox thoughts would be cleaner than your human ones. 

“Don’t tell anyone you saw me here,” he whispered, “McGonagall has been getting on my nerves for sneaking into the Slytherin dorms last time. They think James convinced me to do it. As if.” 

“See what?” you asked, a complicit smile etched on your features, “I’ve been soundly sleeping on my bed all night.” 

He gave a pleased look at that. “Good luck with your boys. Have fun! Take your special teas and potions and all that.” 

“Richie!” you admonished. As if you needed warmer thoughts to enter your head. Enough had been your ridiculous admiration of Remus’ torso with how tight the navy-blue shirt fit him. Enough had been the thought that you’d probably end up sleeping right over it. No, not me. Vixen, you corrected yourself. You almost regretted sacrificing yourself for James, but being honest, he would have had it much worse than you did. At least your body wasn’t going to give any physical indication of your thoughts no matter how far they escalated. And honestly, Lily did not need more emotional strain in one night either. You weren’t sure how she would react to a horny James on a normal day, but it would definitely not be positive with the toll of the night. 

Richie just shrugged, gave you a wink, and disappeared through a wall. Your eyes trailed behind as you saw him go and then started to walk towards the boys’ dorms. The hallways were dark, and you had to be extra careful not to trip on your way down the set of stairs of the girls’ dorms and up the ones on the boys’. Thankfully you had already taken that same path a good deal of times and you knew how to get from point A to point B with relative stealth. 

Once you were outside of their door you had to take a deep breath, forcing the image of shirtless Remus you had seen a while ago off your head, and walked inside. The boys knew you were coming later that night, so you trust they were all presentable. When you walked inside, you spotted James thrown on his bed, tie loose and shirt slightly unbuttoned, snoring just slightly as he was half-covered with the sheets. Peter was on his bed, perfectly tucked and with a Gryffindor beanie that clashed entirely with his purple striped pyjamas.  He is cold, you realised, you were too. The cloak had never been that warm. 

Then you spotted your boys, the boys, you corrected yourself. Fucking Richie and damn Ackley’s potion, they’d made your mind all wonky. “No use in hiding luv, we saw the door open,” Sirius said, he was on the bed next to Remus who was reading a book you hadn’t seen before. Sirius was sketching something in a small notebook. Both boys stood rather close to each other, but Remus kept his gaze on his book, respecting Sirius’ earlier wish of not snooping on his drawing, even if the temptation was gnawing at him. 

You took part of the cloak off and placed it around your shoulders. “You’re drawing,” you pointed. 

“Mhm,” Sirius said in response. “Just practising expressions.” 

“How’s it going?” 

“Surprisingly great, wanna see?” He asked. Both you and Remus looked at him with a rather surprised expression. Sirius had never allowed either of you to see his drawings, and he was now so casually offering it, that it had the two of you puzzled. 

“Sirius, are you all right?” you asked as you stepped closer to the bed, letting James’ cloak fall over Remus’ trunk as you did. 

“Did you hit your head?” Remus intervened. 

“Or took a potion?” You added as you leaned over the bed and placed your hand on his forehead to check if he had some sort of fever. 

“What?” The boy asked with a frown as he gently pulled your hand off his head. “No, I– You know what? Never mind.” 

You let a disappointed “aw” in response. “Doesn’t mean I don’t want to see it, we were just a little surprised,” you said, even pointing at Remus, to show it wasn’t just you that had been taken aback by his offer. 

“You’ve never shown us your drawings. At least not the ones in your notebook,” Remus added. 

Sirius seemed to hesitate at that, and they were right, he never showed his art to anyone. He had tried to show it to his mother once and she had berated him with it. Telling him it was a useless waste of his time and that he should instead be perfecting his charms, that Regulus was getting ahead of him and that he was lagging behind. That, if he continued, he would lose his chance to get into Hogwarts and would end up cast out of the family like a squib. He was only 8 at the time, and since that day, his drawings, other than the doodles on his notebooks, had been kept to himself. 

Sketchbook after sketchbook, sent to him by Andromeda and sometimes even his cool uncle Alphard (who had never been too loved by his mother and who had at least kept in touch with Sirius even after he had been kicked out last summer). Sirius had kept them all hidden and lock-charmed so no one would be able to access his art. But of course, he continued on drawing, sometimes because he saw something he wanted to remember, sometimes because he wanted to get better at it, sometimes for the sake of it, and sometimes because he wanted to piss Walburga off. 

Sirius had a rather specific way in which he would sit in the drawing room of his house, and while Regulus studied diligently, he would prop out his sketchbook and draw for hours, waiting for Walburga to come over, just to see her walk out of the room displeased, he enjoyed that look on her face so much that he would draw for even more hours, just to see if she’d come back and make it again. 

At some point he’d even found some drawing books in the family library, he had taken all of them and hid them in his trunk, using them to improve his skill –not that the practice hadn’t already done that for him, but he learnt a lot about proportions with those. Later on owling them to James and asking him to hide them when things got rougher at home. That Christmas he’d gotten even more books, all thanks to the Potters who’d given him a few as gifts (he had stayed with them over the break while telling his parents he’d be at Hogwarts), James had given him a set of always-sharp drawing pencils that he still used to this day. James had also told Peter and Remus about Sirius’ passion for drawing. Peter had gotten him some colouring pencils while Remus got him a leather bound sketchbook, the same he was using today, in fact. 

“Yeah I–” Sirius was hesitant, he didn’t even notice how easily it had slipped off his tongue. How he had just offered the two of you to see his drawing. The more he thought about it, the more he realised, he wanted the two of you to see it. He trusted you, unlike he’d ever trusted anyone in his life, and it was scary, giving someone so much power over him and his emotions. 

“Hey,” you said softly, noticing his change in demeanour.  “I’m sure both me and Rem would love to see your drawing. See what that pretty mind of yours came up with,” you reassured as you pointed at his forehead with one of your fingers as you mentioned his mind. “But neither of us is going to pressure you.” 

“We’re okay if you keep it to yourself,” Remus added, for good measure. He was feeling all sorts of warm feelings as he saw you treat Sirius with such kindness, to touch him with such tenderness, Merlin knew that boy needed this kind of affection and he was thrilled, that even if he couldn’t give it to him himself –not in the way he wanted at least– you could still do that for him. You really were made for each other. And he really was in the middle of a tender moment and he wasn’t sure if he should stay in it, not that either of you seemed to mind, you never did, he realised. 

“I want you to see it,” Sirius mumbled and he handed the sketchbook your way, one of his fingers in between the pages, to mark where the drawing was. You took it in your hands and opened it slowly when you realised what it was you gasped. 

“It’s beautiful,” you said honestly. Both the drawing and the person he had drawn. Sirius swallowed thickly, he wasn’t insecure about many things, but he had never shown his art to anyone. “You’ve captured him perfectly.” 

“Who?” Remus asked, now intrigued and leaning over to see the drawing as well. 

“You,” you said as you tilted the sketchbook over so he could see it as well. Remus’ eyes opened wide with surprise as he saw himself sketched out in the notebook. 

When Sirius said he was “practising” his expressions, he really meant it, he had sketched out a perfect version of Remus’ side profile as he read a book, his brow just slightly furrowed as he was looking at a particularly intriguing section of the detective novel he’d been reading earlier. “You were… you were drawing me?” he stuttered, as his eyes widened and he drew in a sharp breath. 

“You mind?” Sirius asked as he tilted his head slightly. 

Remus wasn’t sure how to respond. Did he mind? No, if anything he was flattered, barely holding the blush starting to creep up his cheeks, he never thought he’d be the subject of one of Sirius’ drawings, let alone the many he had already been of and would be in the future.  “No,” he said honestly. “I just didn’t realise.” 

“You were very absorbed in your book,” Sirius said with a shrug. “Wasn’t even being careful about it.” 

You turned to Sirius then, he’s drawn him before, you thought, it was in the way the lines were so sure, confident as if he knew exactly what he was doing and had to focus solely on his expression. But it made so much sense, they were roommates after all. You then wondered if he had drawn you too, was it possible that you too had been so engrossed in yourself that you hadn’t noticed? 

The drawing of Remus was beautiful, it truly reflected him in every way, but Remus had never seen himself as beautiful as he had been plastered on the sketch. He was truly stunning in Sirius’ gaze, and if that was what he looked like to you, then perhaps it too made sense when you called him beautiful. You’d even called him beautiful when you’d first seen the drawing. Well, was that him or was it Sirius’ talent that you had been praising? He chose to think a little bit was because of him.  

“Sirius it’s incredible,” you repeated as you gazed at the drawing again. “I expected you to be good but–” 

“I’m always good with my hands,” he said as he threw a wink your way and you almost pushed him off the bed entirely. You did not need dirty thoughts added. 

“My love you wound me,” he said dramatically as he let himself fall back onto Remus’ lap.  Remus had reacted just fast enough to pull the sketchbook up, Sirius looked at him with a cheeky little smile. “Moony, you’re awfully comfortable,” he teased. The two of you praising his art had gotten him in a dreadfully good mood. 

His two favourite people on earth had seen his drawing and they had both thought it was beautiful. Or at least been kind enough to pretend it was, he was pretty sure the two of you were being honest with him, though. He wasn’t always good at seeing through lies, but he was good when it mattered. 

Wait– his two favourite people in the world? 

Remus rolled his eyes as he looked down on Sirius, trying not to think of how beautiful he looked and instead of how annoying he was by taking up his personal space so brazenly. Problem was, even that he found endearing. The urge to brush his fingers through his perfectly chiselled nose was almost mortifying. 

Sirius wasn’t in a much better position either, he had focused so much on his drawing that he had forgotten he had actual Remus Lupin –who for some reason he now considered insanely attractive– looking at him like he was the only person in the room. They locked eyes for a moment and Sirius swallowed. 

You looked at the scene curiously and he seemed not to mind much the kind of attention Rem was providing him with, you already knew he loved being coddled. Sirius had always been touchy and cuddly, searching for the lack of affection his parents had given him wherever he could find it, but he and Remus had gotten a lot closer –physically at least– since you all started doing the pack cuddling thing this month. And while you found it endearing, that Sirius could find love not only with you but elsewhere as well in case you weren’t around to help him out, there was something about the way they were looking at each other in that particular moment that made you do a double take, or at least to stare a little closely. Have you missed something? That look was an awful lot like–

Suddenly there was a stir on the bed and the sketchbook fell from Remus’ hands. When he picked it up, the page had changed, and when he looked at it, he couldn’t actually hide the blush that crept up his cheeks, “Sirius Black!” he said in an admonishing tone. 

Sirius, who had turned his gaze to you and was pulling onto your leg, turned his head quickly and gasped when he saw the drawing Remus was looking at, “Close it, close it!” 

Remus did as told in an instant, swallowing thickly as he remembered the drawing. Sirius now was blushing as well. “What– what was that?” You asked with a small frown, completely changing your train of thought, now focusing solely on the sketchbook.

“Nothing,” Remus said simply. 

“Don’t worry about it, Starshine,” Sirius said, but that was not his cool and controlled voice. You could see how nervous he was, whatever it was that Remus had seen in the sketchbook, he clearly did not want you to see it too, which obviously made you want to see it even more. Meanwhile, Remus was struggling not to think of the drawing now burned into his brain. 

You scrutinised their reactions, the only sound in the room the gentle rustle of the fabric as you shifted on the bed. Your gaze darted between them, before deciding to focus on the latter. “Sirius?” He swallowed. 

“You don’t want to see it, trust me,” Remus said as coolly as he could, but you could clearly see through his bullshit. 

“Your lies only make me more curious.” 

“I’ll show it to you later.” 

“How will I know it’s the same?”

“Because you trust me?” Sirius responded with a shrug. 

“Would you show it to me later?” You asked as you turned to Remus. 

He cleared his throat, he really did not need to think of the drawing again. “Yes,” he lied. 

“Okay fine,” you responded, and laid back for a second, Remus had the sketchbook still in his hands.

Sirius was looking at you attentively, not sure how you had let the subject go so easily when you jumped forward to try and grab the notebook from Remus’ hands. But Remus’ reflexes had always been faster and he moved the book out of the way as you crashed against him and caused him to fall back on the bed with you on top. You, being deterred not even a little bit, pulled your hand forward to try and grab it again when Sirius grabbed you by the waist firmly and held you from moving forward again. 

Remus, meanwhile was trying not to think of the image, and now also your body pressed against him, and you, being so engrossed in your task, didn’t quite realise exactly what you were doing. 

“Starshine please, I promise I’ll show it to you later,” Sirius pleaded as he held you back from reaching towards Remus’ long outstretched hand. 

“Why not now?” you asked as you continued trying to move. 

“Because!” he said. “You’re all over Moony, come on!” he added as he tried to pull you back. 

You looked down, he was right, you were all over Remus, more specifically, all over the broad chest you had been thinking about all night, and you couldn’t help but think how firm it felt underneath you. But you still wanted to know. 

“What was it?” you asked, squirming as you tried to get out of Sirius’ grasp. 

“Anatomy study.” 

Finally, you stilled. Looking up to see how red Remus’ cheeks had gotten, and how he swallowed thickly after Sirius’ words. Now actually noticing how close you were to Remus and the compromising position your legs had been in, and the way they had entangled onto Remus’ and how long you had been there and how Sirius had been trying to pull you back by the waist and how flustered the two boys looked and suddenly it dawned on you. 

You scattered back in an instant, falling on Sirius’ lap as you did, he stilled you easily since his hands were still on your waist and you turned to him, your heart hammering on your chest. The thoughts currently roaming in your head weren’t making this entire ordeal any easier for you. 

“Do you mean-” you swallowed. “That kind of anatomy study?” 

Sirius sighed and looked at the side, before turning his gaze back to you. Remus was looking at the entire situation, at the position both you and Sirius had ended up in trying not to feel things, let alone imagine other ones. 

“Yes,” Sirius answered, giving you a look. “You really want to see?” he asked. He was sure what your answer could be, that didn’t stop Remus from sending him a reproachful look, as if telling him what a terrible idea that was. 

And if it had been any other day, you might have said yes. But after the potion, whatever and whoever Sirius had drawn, would probably be a terrible idea to look at, you already had enough heated thoughts as it was. Only made worse by the fact that you were now sitting on his lap and had been right over Remus earlier. Godric! How much longer for you to stop sexualizing your best friend? 

A lump formed in your throat and shook your head. “Show me a different day,” you said as you stared at him. Sirius nodded as he looked at you and you missed the way Remus let out a relieved breath. “Let’s uh– Let’s sleep now.” 

Neither of the boys argued, Remus placed the sketchbook on his night table and waved his wand to turn the lights off. You instantly turned into a fox and walked over to the end of the bed to try and clear your thoughts. Sirius extended his hand to pull you closer but ended up holding back and turning into a Padfoot instead. Then he walked closer to you and picked up Vixen carefully with his snout. 

You stilled as he did and allowed him to drop you over Remus’ chest, as you accommodated you realised Remus’ heartbeat was beating abnormally fast and you couldn’t help but think of the picture again. What the hell had Sirius drawn to garner such a reaction? You shook your head then, don’t need to know, don’t need to know!

Sirius was getting comfortable on the side by now, and he placed his snout over Remus’ shoulder, close to Vixen’s, and closed his eyes. But even if the three of you had your eyes closed, and even if the three of you were really trying to fall asleep, you could not stop thinking about the fact that you were sleeping on Remus’ chest. He couldn’t stop thinking about the drawing he’d seen and Sirius could not stop thinking how adorable Remus had looked with the blush creeping up his cheek, let alone the compromising position you had both ended up in earlier. And it stayed like that, all of you attempting to calm your breaths, until at least half an hour later when one by one, you started to fall asleep. 

The next day had gone pretty fast, you’d woken up and walked back to your room to get changed into your flying gear, meeting Sirius and James just outside of the common room for the last flight of the year, since everyone would be packing their bags for home the following day. Well, everyone except for Remus who’d go back home until after Christmas. 

After flying you had taken the last few classes of the year, which consisted of some teachers actually trying to teach, some final project presentations and some others of teachers who just allowed everyone to do whatever they wanted during the class time. On charms, you spent almost the entire class playing Wizards’ chess with Marlene and Mary while James and Sirius spent the class writing his essays for potions. Both using yours and Remus’ as a guide. 

On potions Slughorn had you present the essays and he congratulated everyone, even Sirius, got a slightly higher mark on that one than Severus, whom you’d heard had spent weeks working on, you couldn’t stop the slight mocking giggle that escaped your lips when he announced the grades. That was until you got yours and it was lower than Sirius’, who just shrugged awkwardly and gave you an apologetic smile. 

Sure, your head had been a little muddled while you wrote it (which was at some point after the friendly game with Neil and Nox) but you still thought your argument had been solid, even if Slughorn said that you didn’t have enough sources to back it up. 

“But where did you even get your sources? You literally used my essay as a base!” you asked Sirius as you read over his. 

He just shrugged, “made them up,” he said honestly and proceeded to show you the page where he had added them, which contained all sorts of ridiculous names like David Bowie, Freddie Mercury, Brian May, Steve Walsh, Brad Delp and even some surreal ones like Moonsmus Lup and Vixenia Starr.

“Oh, so you even gave us credit,” you said as you hovered your index over the ridiculous names he’d invented based on your nicknames. “How on earth did he buy that?” 

“Mom and dad used to have pretty rare books in the library,” he explained, “books rarely available to the general public…” 

You nodded as you pursed your lip. Half surprised, half admired by his boldness, “Next time I’ll add some myself.” 

“The weirdest the names, the more he loves it.”  

Herbology had gone by like charms, Mr. Folly was talking about properties of some curative flowers with the students who were interested in them –and who wanted to go for either medical or herboreal careers– and allowed the rest to do their thing. You had spent the time talking to Beth and Tom, planning to get together in London after the trip on the train to get some gifts for your friends. 

Remus had excused himself before the class was over and walked over to Pomfrey who took him straight to the shack. You had all agreed that you’d meet him there a little before 6 pm which was the estimated time for the moon to appear that night. 

After changing into the same clothes you had been wearing the previous night, just for good measure and according to Remus’ instructions, he said it would be for the best, to “maximize the smell of the pack” but also –and secretly– for his very own enjoyment. Not that it didn’t also translate to your and Sirius’ enjoyment, the three of you rather liked the way you smelled when your scents were all combined with each other. From Sirius always smelling slightly like leather, added to the light notes of your perfume that lingered on each other, all the way to the faint smell of Remus’ aftershave potion and the ever-present smell of chocolate that seemed to surround him. It was certainly an interesting mix, but one you had all grown to love.

“You ready?” Sirius asked while Wormtail sprinted towards the Whomping Willow, they had told you that the tree had a secret branch that if you pressed it right, it would calm him enough to let you through, and Wormtail was currently working on making it happen. 

You nodded in response, paying close attention to the way Wormtail walked and how after a small flick of his tiny rat-like hands, the Willow stilled. You looked marvelled at the sight of the usually bellic tree looking so serene. You let out a small scoff.

“What is it?” James asked. 

You pointed at the tree, “A trick like that would have saved my Nimbus.” 

“But we wouldn’t have ended up snogging under it,” Sirius said with a sneaky little smirk as he passed his hand over your shoulders. 

“Is that why you were late after the race?” James asked with a gasp. “We were all mad worried!” 

“We also had some things to discuss,” you said with a small shrug, “I thought Sirius hated me.” 

James genuinely laughed at that, “He was bIoody smitten!” 

“Yeah, I guess I should have seen the signs…” you replied as you turned to your boyfriend, “It was in those pretty puppy eyes of his.” 

He pulled his tongue out and then started running towards the tree, you smiled and followed shortly behind. James, on the other hand, lagged back just for a moment, noting how you chased behind Sirius with a bright smile plastered on your face, filled with only blithe thoughts as you walked towards the wolf’s den; as if you weren’t even slightly worried for the outcome of the night. 

And you really weren’t, as far-fetched as it was, you thought Peter’s idea of using scents to trick Moony into not wanting to eat you, made sense. You had been sneaking into the restricted section to look up some more werewolf-related tomes, sometimes with Sirius and sometimes by yourself, all in the hopes that you’d find something to back your claim up –and rip some more of those murder pages off of them– and even though you hadn’t found something that confirmed it, you had found some text that talked about how heavily werewolves leaned onto scents to hunt and track humans down. 

You had also taken some other “muggle animals” from the muggle studies section of the library and read about the normal wolves, and while you hadn’t found any stance in which they did something similar to what you had planned, there were some stances in which packs of wolves adopted stray and small dogs and raised them as their own. Now Vixen wasn’t either a stray, nor a dog, but she was canine, so that must atone for something, right? Either way, you had built a pretty strong case for Peter’s theory in your head, and while you couldn’t actually ask a teacher about it, you were about to do something that Lily had taught you was “the scientific method” in muggle terms. It was simple, you got a theory, and you tested it out to see if it would work. Now, according to Lily, the testing was in a controlled setting with proper security, your security would be Prongs, Padfoot and how fast you could move as Vixen, but you were still optimistic enough to go through with it. It had to work, otherwise, things would only get harder.

Series Masterlist | Next Chapter

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A/N: Hey everyone? How is it going? Hope you enjoy this chapter, it's one of the fluffiest we've gotten in a while hehe You guys were asking for a new Q&A so I'm working on it at the moment, send all the questions you may want to be added here, or directly on asks. Love, Lils xx

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“You’re a Disappointment,” An Analysis

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Seven years. Seven. Years. And it only just now finally hit me what Toffee truly meant when he called Marco a disappointment in Storm the Castle, and I feel pretty silly for not realizing it before.

Before Storm the Castle, Toffee has only seen Marco on two significant (canonical) occasions, Fortune Cookies and Mewnipendance Day. (As you may remember, Marco was MIA during Marco Grows a Beard, considering he was… physically trapped in that bathroom as his beard overwhelmed the house)

Fortune Cookies:

The entire plot of the episode, besides the ever enjoyable introduction to our favorite lizard, is Star once again being amazed by another Earth oddity: fortune cookies. She believes that the fortunes are genuine predictions of the future and are infallible and to be relied on for all of her future decisions (not helped by Marco who did influence this misconception by messing with her). This immediately establishes in Toffee’s mind— after learning from Buff Frog that she believes the messages in the messages in her cookies are fortunes— that she’s naive, impulsive, easy to stray, and immature. Of course, he very quickly learns about her impulsivity, fighting prowess, and stubborn will, but her naivety is what sticks out to him in this moment, and it’s what he takes full advantage of. (Note: I don’t think he actually looks down on her for these traits alone and expects her to be mature at all, I think he sees those traits going hand and hand with her age. She’s only 14, after all. Nevertheless, they are still traits he can use to his advantage to further his goals.)

This is something that Star has in common with the monsters Toffee has found himself within the company of. The only difference here? These are grown adults who he expects to have a bit more dignity under their belt, ESPECIALLY Ludo. While I’m sure he’s grateful that Ludo was naive enough to hire him with clever wordplay alone— overall assisting to further his goals— he can’t help but feel annoyed by the plain stupid amount of immaturity he possesses.

I think this is less so with Ludo’s army. Even if they share very similar traits, he knows they’ve been living under Ludo’s childish tyranny, and probably has a bit more faith that they can be molded into proper soldiers. Though, his patience is still worn extremely thin by their shenanigans.

Toffee takes advantage of this by planting a fortune in her bag, “Love is Always the Answer.” While I personally believe there’s a deeper meaning, it’s not relevant right now. But anywho, the core purpose is to let Star’s guard down enough so Ludo can gain ownership of the wand.

While Star believes the message hook, line, and sinker, Marco immediately sees past the ridiculousness of the fortune in such a dire situation. “What? Not in this case! Fighting is!”

“Really? Now??”

He immediately sees past the fortune, relying on logic to reason that such a simple trick is just that: a trick. Clearly Star’s pacifism isn’t working, and they need to make the rational decision to fight. He’s immediately proves himself to be the level headed one of the duo, the one who keeps his head on straight and is clearly the maturer of the two.

Marco saw right through the trap and displayed common sense and logic. And he was later vindicated when it was revealed to Star that the fortune cookie was a trap.

And I can guarantee you Toffee noticed this, and it was only further cemented in the next time Toffee sees him again.

Mewnipendance Day:

In this episode, Star is celebrating what she knows as “Mewnipendance Day”, also known as the Great Monster Massacre, where the first Queen of Mewni attempted to wipe out monsters from the face of the planet, an attempted genocide of innocent people who lived on the land she stole from them.

Star explains the entire story from the Mewman’s propagandized perspective, going through a pop-up storybook to demonstrate the beginning and the end of the massacre. She gives an explanation of the beginnings, skips past the actual genocide and fighting itself, and ends with “And the Mewmans won!”

And guess who’s the only person who notices and brings attention to it? Marco Diaz himself.

“Wait, but you just blew past all the important stuff.”

Once again, Marco is the one who’s calling out important things, looking deeper and more critically at the situation, opposed to everyone else who just goes along with it. He shows very clear and obvious signs that he’s more mature than his peers.

And let’s not forget, Ludo and Toffee are watching all of this through the surveillance device (the “all seeing eye”). Sure, Toffee is a tad distracted by the book he’s reading, but with how intelligent he is I’m almost positive that he’s multitasking here.

And Marco only proceeds to exceed expectations, actually going through the book and starting to see, at least in part, the true reality of the situation, calling it out and bringing it to Star’s attention.

“Star, I know the monsters are bad and all, but this seems… unfair.”

Marco demonstrates that he is willing to see past biases and to see reason. He sees past the blatant propaganda and revisionist history, at least in part.

Overall, he is actively more mature than the others with common sense that aids in critical thinking skills and nuance beyond what’d Toffee would expect at his age, especially contrasted against Star. And I think taking off rose colored glasses and seeing the monster massacre for what it really is (again at least in part) really helps with Toffee’s perception of Marco as some levity amongst the childish people he’s been surrounded with.

That is, until their third interaction in Storm the Castle.

Storm the Castle:

Toffee clearly sees Marco as a competent fighter, considering the double imprisonment with not only the chair that confines him but the crystal box prison too. He knows Marco is more competent and mature than most people in his vicinity

At least. He did.

During Storm the Castle while Marco is imprisoned, he takes on the traits seen with Ludo, his soldiers, and Star. He’s acting immature, he’s being impulsive, and he’s talking back with what he assumes is witty dialogue. He’s trying to act all tough guy, which clearly doesn’t work with Toffee. Toffee humors him a little bit during the sandwich dialogue, releasing him from the chair, and Marco immediately takes an impulsive swing at him, leaving him to punch the crystal and immediately writhe in pain at the impact. Marco then immediately throws away Toffee’s genuine attempt at offering him a meal. Toffee is a monster, and being a monster in Mewni means that food, especially good food, is invaluable, because it’s so hard to come by. Seeing Marco waste and make a mess of it without a second thought is probably the nail in the coffin.

Marco isn’t the slightly more mature young boy Toffee assumed he was. He had witnessed from afar Marco’s knack for nuance and critical thinking, a breath of fresh air amongst incompetence.

But as soon as they get one on one all of that is immediately washed away.

Marco is acting like everyone else he’s come across lately, openly defying the nuanced maturity Toffee had witnessed previously. He’s just like the others. He’s being childish. He isn’t special.

“You’re a disappointment”

It’s not some profound statement, there’s no weight behind it. Toffee had no expectations for Marco and wasn’t planning on using him for his goals. Marco just genuinely was not who Toffee assumed he was by his previous actions. Toffee was mildly genuinely disappointed to learn just how kiddish Marco really is. He really expected better.

I also think this explains why Toffee didn’t bother to put him back in the chair restraints. He really didn’t need to go that far with trapping him in the first place.

I don’t think Toffee is surprised, or even phased by it, Marco is a 14 year old child after all. I don’t even think Toffee’s expectations for his maturity were big, period, just the slightest bit of relief that Marco was a breath of fresh air amongst the sea of incompetence. But no. He wasn’t, as far as Toffee concludes at least. This one interaction completely killed any hope Toffee might have carried, and he would just roll his eyes for even allowing himself to put even a little faith in someone.

“Well, that’s unfortunate. Anyways…”

I know there were tons of theories on this, but the actual answer, as far as I’ve figured, is incredibly simple lol. And now that I’ve finally realized what that line really meant, I think it’s important to share.

[professorsnape394]

Day 8: A Cosy Night In

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC

Rating: 🥰

Prompt: Cosy

Summary: Severus has a question to ask Y/N after a long day spent bonding with her family.

A/N: Short lil fluffy piece for a change. Hope ya'll like it.

Warnings: Cuteness overload!!

Word Count: 779

Credits to Gif Creator

“God, it’s freezing in here!” Y/N exclaimed, blowing hot air between her palms as she and Severus returned back to their home.

Before Y/N even had a chance to ask, Severus set the fireplace ablaze with a quick flick of his wand.

“You’ll heat up soon.” He reassured her, taking her icy hands in his and pressing them to his lips.

“Thank you for today.” She beamed, staring up at her boyfriend.

“You don’t need to thank me, darling. It’s my pleasure.”

Their day had been spent at The Burrow surrounded by excitable Weasleys and friends; all fighting to get a word in edge-ways. While it wasn’t his ideal way of spending Christmas Eve, Severus would do anything if it made Y/N smile, and Molly and Arthur were the closest thing she had to family. It had taken the whole family by surprise when Y/N announced she was dating Severus, especially the younger generation, but now they welcomed the professor with open arms, something Severus was still trying to get used to.

“I know they can be a lot, but they mean well.”

“I had a good time.” He promised, trying to ease the woman’s mind. “Although I am grateful, I get you all to myself tomorrow.”

“And tonight.” She reminded him, a menacing grin creeping onto her face.

“First, let me take care of you. Today’s been a lot for you too.”

As promised Severus drew Y/N a warm bath, complete with a thick layer of bubbles, a rim lined with candles and a large glass of red wine. She happily plunged into the tub, the … water melting away her tired muscles and defrosting her once ice-cold skin.

The twins had insisted on the whole family partaking in a giant snow ball fight, which was mostly an excuse to pelt their potions master in the face with snowballs. Unfortunately for them, Snape used Y/N as a human shield and she took the brunt of the …. Yes, it had turned her nose into an icicle but thinking back it was worth it to see her boyfriend interacting with those closest to her. She knew it had taken a lot for him to come out of his shell around them, and she planned to reward him accordingly.

Practically drifting off in the tub, Y/N eventually emerged from the bubbles, wrapping herself in the warm fluffy robe Severus had laid out for her.

This is truly what bliss feels like. She thought to herself, thinking she couldn’t possibly get any happier than she was in this moment.

Upon exiting the bathroom she was instantly proven wrong.

The room had been decked out in hundreds of …, her favourite flower. Rose petals lined the cold wooden floor, leading through the jungle of flora to a perfectly laid picnic blanket sat out in front of the fire, adorned with …. And in the middle of it all was Severus, bent on one knee, an open ring box positioned carefully in the palm of his hand.

Y/N’s hands flew up to cover her face, unable to form a coherent thought, let alone strong a sentence together.

Slowly she stumbled forwards, liken to a baby deer learning to take its first steps, and met Severus on the blanket.

“Severus.” She finally was able to say, as he peeled her hand away from her face, clasping it tightly in his own.

“Y/N.” He started, allowing himself to clear the lump from his throat. “I never thought I’d feel a fraction of the love you have given me this past year. My whole life I was taught to believe I was unlovable and you were able to change that in such a short amount of time. You are an absolutely incredible woman, and now I could never imagine my life without you in it. You’re the one, Y/N. I never want to spend a second more without you by my side. And if that means taking a snowball to the face from those Weasley twins I will take it gladly.”

Y/N let out a mixture of a laugh and a sob, her emotions running absolutely wild.

“I would do anything for you, Y/N. But could you do me one thing in return?”

Y/N nodded enthusiastically, willing him to go on.

“Will you marry me?”

Words had become a foreign concept to the woman at this point, unable to answer she simply threw herself into the man’s arms and sobbed into his shoulder.

“Is that a yes?” He asked started to get worried.

“Of course it’s a yes.” She croaked through a steam of tears. “Of course I’ll marry you, Severus.”

[cozy-fantasy-stories]

Suvi is *by far* my favorite character in WBN. Like I get Ame and her idealism, and I get Eursulon and his passion, the Fox is hilarious and a fantastic foil.

But Suvi. My god Suvi.

I’m on my first relisten and she’s magnificent at every turn.

Children’s adventure and she stays inside. Does as she’s told. Doesn’t go out in the dark. Cleans up the bathroom! Waits. Alone.

She makes it in time—Grandmother Ren calls her my granddaughter and I am slain. Casts identify on the house!

Immediately says yes to helping Ame find the sword. No question. She doesn’t have to. But she does it.

Leaves a coin for the family and helps with the damn laundry! Do you know how practical that is?!

Immediately solves the being stuck problem for Eursulon. Terrifies that horrible little man with a Wild One under his boot. She rescues the music box, no question. Eursulon is free.

And Emliss.

Emliss.

Terrifying.

She ends Emliss, the Chalice, the shadow. The thing that *kills* Ame in a single turn.

The *indignity* of having to pay a hustler (FINLEY) for her mother’s coat lining. Yeah, okay, Eursulon went and made it all right (bet he never pays her back). But Ame talking about payment when she doesn’t even have money?!

Who fights for Suvi? Who defends her? Who thinks of her?

Ame making assumptions about the Citadel. (yes yes we get it institution bad we know what we’re listening to) But come on! Ame has no knowledge at this stage, just judgement!

Will Gallows. The Ace of Wands.

They never get the sword without Suvi in that room. Ice in her veins. Ice.

Who asked for “I’d like to count you among my friends.” Eursulon has the string in his pocket, but Suvi is the one who bargained for it.

Don’t even get me started on the Chantry and Morrow. I’m not doing it.

She gets them SAFE.

Resolves problems and defends her people with confidence and conviction.

She doesn’t deserve that dressing down from Steel. She doesn’t.

And Ame vanishes.

Off to talk to a murderess goddess that would end Port Talon in a heartbeat.

Of course Suvi goes to rescue her. Immediately! NO QUESTION. You think a search party would have found Ame?! With Orima of the Reaching Green as pissed as she was? HA. (but yes she’s thinking of Steel she doesn’t want to let Steel down not again not Steel)

Three days of walking and walking and walking.

(okay but Aabria having Suvi lose it is freaking brilliant and just absolutely incredible role play absolute perfection what a way to lean in)

And then Steel. Again.

Larger than life.

With the yelling. And the power. And the telemet.

Calls her a princess (dismissive) questions her like a prisoner (her adoptive mother really) and knows about the King of Night (suspicious).

And then.

Naram.

The Wild One heeds a call. The Witch arbiters consequences.

Our Wizard saves the godsdamned day.

She doesn’t run when it’s the derrick that’s at stake. She gets it. Even though she’s said awful things (you get what you get what a LINE trap a spirit and you get what you get bet she feels that way about Eursulon she trapped him she deserves it).

Suvi’s brilliance is not about what she says it’s about what she does. Galani mentions Orima and Suvi immediately moves.

Suvi’s quick thinking saves Port Talon.

Actually saves Port Talon.

She’s the one that does it. She’s the one that leads Orima to Naram. The reaching green and its *stranglers* and its indifferent cruelty to those in its way. ON THREE HIT POINTS.

And then Steel has the AUDACITY to act disappointed. (it’s not at Suvi not really but still).

Impossible odds.

Complex character choices and she carries the weight of the world on her shoulders. Always thinking, strategizing, anticipating.

SUVI.

Love Suvi.

She makes the right choice. Every time.

[mattyriddlesbitch]

The Mark (Chapter Eleven)

Mattheo Riddle x F!Reader

Warnings: Aaaaansgty

Even though Mattheo had been pushing you away since the end of the previous school year, making it eight months as it was now January, you still had a soft spot for him. You still left him the same sweets you got him since 3rd year outside his door. You still defended him when people would start talking shit about him. You still tried talking to him in class or saying ‘hi’ whenever he passed you in the halls.

Everyone just got back from holiday break and you figured you would leave the sweets you got him outside his dorm room again. You were about to put the sweets down in front of his door when you heard crying on the other side of the door. It made you frown and you knocked on the door instead, calling his name. When you didn’t hear a response, you tried the door, but it was locked. You grabbed your wand, casting the ‘alohomora’ spell, unlocking the door and walking in. You didn’t see him in his room, but you could hear running water in the bathroom. You dropped the sweets on his bed before opening the bathroom door, walking in quietly to see him through the glass shower walls fully clothed, sitting on the shower floor with the water coming down on him.

“Mattheo?” You said softly to get his attention as you approached the shower.

He flinched, moving to the back wall of the shower as he faced you, aiming his wand at you. You could see the scared look in his eyes and his fast breathing before he lowered his wand, sitting back down, the tears starting back up.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” You asked, opening the shower door as you kneeled in front of the shower. “What happened, Mattheo?”

He ran his hands over his face, seeming to try to wipe the tears off his face. You noticed a loofah and different types of sponges scattered on the shower floor.

“Matty?” You called his name softly to make him look at you. He moved his hands a little to peer at you between his fingers. “What happened?”

He hesitated, not saying a single word to you before lowering his right arm, showing you the skull and snake symbol on his arm. You recognized it. It was the death eater symbol. You covered your mouth with your hand, definitely not expecting that. You noticed the skin around the symbol looked all red and irritated. It looked like he tried scrubbing it off with all the stuff surrounding him in the shower.

“Oh, Mattheo.” You spoke softly.

“I don’t want it.” He finally said, probably saying that so you knew he didn’t want to be a death eater.

“I know.” You nodded, letting him know you understood this wasn’t his choice.

“I’m not him. I don’t want to be him!” His voice was shaky and hoarse, clearly holding back more tears.

“I know. I know, Mattheo.” You said, moving to climb into the shower with him, wrapping your arms around him.

He didn’t fight it. He just hugged you back, sobbing into your shirt that was now getting soaked from the shower. He pulled you closer, sitting you in his lap to keep you as close as possible.

“I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to kill. He’s going to make me.” He sobbed, only making your heart break.

You sighed softly, moving a hand to his hair to try to comfort him. “I know you don’t.”

“He’s going to make me do terrible things. I don’t want to really hurt people. I get into fights, but I don’t want to hurt them that bad. I just get angry and I can’t stop myself, but I don’t want to kill anyone.” He said, his head still buried in your shoulder.

“I know.” It was all you could think to say. You knew he wasn’t evil. You knew he didn’t want to hurt someone to the point of long term damage. He just had problems controlling his emotions and would hurt the person he was mad at, but it would be bruises or cuts, maybe a broken nose if pushed hard enough. But he wasn’t a killer. You knew that and you just wanted to assure him you didn’t see him as one.

“Everyone already hates me. If they find out…” You could feel his body shake as he cried.

“I won’t tell anyone. No one will find out.” You assured as you kept running your hand through his hair.

“What if I slip up? What if I roll my sleeves up without thinking? Or my teammates see it when we’re changing in the locker room for quidditch? I can’t hide it forever.” He said between heavy breaths, like he was trying and failing to calm himself.

“We’ll figure something out. Maybe we can find a spell to cover it temporarily or something.”

He suddenly pushed you back to look at you. “No, no, no. no, no.” He shook his head. “No. No way. You’re not getting involved. I already told you. I don’t want you hurt.”

“Mattheo-”

“No, no! You’re not even supposed to be here. What are you doing here?” He asked, frowning as he wiped the remaining tears off of his face.

“I was just dropping off some of that candy when I heard you crying.” You answered.

“(Y/N), I-I can’t-I can’t keep doing this. I…can’t have you in my life without you getting hurt. I need you to understand that.” He said, looking between your eyes.

“I do. I understand.” You nodded, trying to get him to understand that you don’t mind getting hurt for him.

“No. I need you to understand that my father is back. And he will use you against me. And he has no issue using the unforgivable curses against anyone.”

“Mattheo, I understand. But you’re important to me and I want to be in your life.” 

You both stared at each other for a moment. You could see his jaw clench and see the movement in his throat when he swallowed. “I will never forgive myself if you get hurt.”

“I won’t. I won’t get hurt.” You shook your head slightly.

“You’re stubborn.” He shook his head too, finally breaking eye contact to look away and sigh.

“I know.” You said with a small smile.

“Just…If I say to run or anything for your own safety, please, just listen to me.” He said as he looked back at you.

“Okay.” You nodded, dropping the smile to let him know you’re serious.

“Thank you.” He said quietly and you weren’t sure if that was for agreeing with him or for comforting him, but you were glad nonetheless. “You’re soaked.” He said, moving a hand to one of your strands of hair, letting it go and letting it fall back into place.

“So are you.” You smiled.

“Yeah. Let’s get out of here.” He said, helping you up off of his lap before standing up himself and turning off the shower.

He casted a quick spell to dry you two off and pulled his sleeve down to cover the dark mark.

“You should probably go before you get into trouble.” He said, shoving his hands in his pockets.

“Yeah, you’re right. Goodnight, Mattheo.” You said, giving him a small nod and smile before leaving his room.

He walked over to his bed, seeing the sweets you left, sighing to himself for a second before tossing the sweets into a drawer.

Chapter 10

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