#the urge simply called (and i realized i had never made one despite it being one of my favs)

[briankang]

see a better version of my side, i’m like a feather now i feel so light. what do you want? i’ll give you everything, for sure, I’m riBBon. now i’ve comeback to my spot, when i close my eyes, i feel so right. what do you want? i’ll give you everything, for sure, i’m riBBon.

— riBBon - bambam (2021)

[azen13]

CW: Yandere Themes, Power Imbalance, Mind Control

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

Yandere!Zhongli, despite his nature as the Archon of Geo, isn't as restrictive as one might think at first. Quite the opposite, actually. He'll say it himself, as he forces you to stay still in his strong arms, trapped inside his Adeptal Domain. He wishes he could give you more privileges, but he simply can't trust you.

Of course, you press him about this, you say he can trust you. With no other option but to fight for any scraps of freedom you can get, you're willing to grovel on your knees for anything, as much as you hate yourself for doing so.

At the sight of your desperation, Zhongli has to mask the way the corners of his lips twitch up, eyes predatory, draconic instinct seeping through a human facade. With the flick of a hand, a thick roll of paper pops into existence in front of your head. The very end of it unfurls, revealing what looks like a place where a signature is written.

For a contract.

Sign it, Zhongli says, and he will grant you multiple privileges listed in the contract: he'll allow you to leave his Adeptal Domain when possible, write to your family and friends, leave you alone for a set time if you so desire, and more listed in the contract.

Your hand itches for the crystalline, amber pen floating next to the contract, beckoning you to write your name, but you control the urge. You've already been played for a fool by a foe you once called a friend, and you won't fall for his foul ploys any longer.

So, you pull the contract to unfurl it. The paper flows like water, gushing across the floor like a wild stream down the bed to the floor, across the bedroom, through the door, into the kitchen, continuing on, and on, and on. It seems like days go by until finally, the contract is fully unscrolled.

Zhongli is less than pleased at your wariness, a disappointed sigh echoing through the still room. He had hoped you would be less uncooperative, but he will allow you a day to read the contents of the contract. After all, time is of the utmost importance, even for the immortal.

You glare at the god, but know that you cannot allow anger to cloud your mind. With only a day to read such a dense document, there's no time to spare.

When you look down to start reading the contract itself, though, your eyes widen in confusion.

The words on the paper are almost kaleidoscopic, warping and twisting and forming new phrases every second. One moment, you think you can read "the"; the next, those same letters have become "remain". Looking back up, Zhongli has a pitying smile on his face. "Dearest treasure, do you see now that this game is a fruitless endeavor?" He asks, a hand reaching to brush against your jaw, sliding tenderly across your skin. "I would not lie to you about these things. I have never lied to you," he says.

For a moment, you almost mistake his tone as kind, like you almost mistook everything about Zhongli—a polite, cultured gentleman who turned out to be a possessive, obsessed dragon—until you realize how patronizing his words are. You want to curse him to the Abyss and back, but hold back your hatred. "I'd prefer to read the contract." You look back down, and begin attempting to decipher the undulating paragraphs.

Hours pass by, and you've made no progress. Through it all, Zhongli has stayed by your side, whispering cloying words in an attempt at disarming your defenses. You've managed to stay strong in the face of his unending patience though.

But while you're smart, Zhongli is a god, with thousands of years of knowledge ingrained in his mind. And he knows eventually, one argument will break you down. So, he keeps trying.

"Time is running out, my sweet. But before this offer disappears, I will give you one last chance to sign," he says. "Besides, even if I am being dishonest about the contents of the contract, can things really get worse than this? At least by signing the contract, there's a chance your circumstances may improve."

His logic is sound, drowning out the dissonant thoughts scrambling your mind. You hate the idea of agreeing with Zhongli, but at this point, it's hard to see a reason not to sign it.

With trembling fingers, you pick up the pen. It's slightly warm in your hand, the way a rock in the afternoon sun would be. Smiling like he knew this would happen all along, Zhongli makes a motion with one hand, causing the contract to begin rolling up. After waiting several moments, all that's left unrolled is the space where you will sign your name.

The pen slashes against the paper, marring it with an ink-black scar that reads your name.

Then you feel it. The lightness in your chest, as though you're untethered to the world around you. Thoughts in your mind begin to pop like soap bubbles, fear dissipating into pure nothingness. You can hardly hear your spouse chuckling over the absolute blankness blanketing your mind.

Yes, Zhongli would allow you many more freedoms now. After all, you had sold your mind, body, and soul to him. Escape was impossible. You were clay in his hands, and he would mold you into a perfect, obedient lover.

[diejager]

I have been thinking about toxic dynamics with yan!König and I think that apathetic or unbothered reader is fun. It's based on the attachment theory and one of the dynamic include the anxious chaser and the apathetic avoidant who's being chased. KorTac operator!darling for the sake of another toxic cat and mouse game!

Hmmm maybe you're the first one to bond with him before Horangi, and you're doing it to satisfy your curiosity. You entertain the colonel, and you guys have a friendly relationship but to you, he's just another normal face in this life of yours. He's nice, but you feel zero spark nor passion in this friendship of yours. To König? You're his everything.

I think the yandere tendencies start to appear when he realizes that he's not a priority to you. Simply another face in the crowd although you never mistreated him. And since the reader is a problem too, reader doesn't see the value of investing time in the colonel, rather uses her time to invest on herself because poor colonel isn't a priority. Besides, he has Horangi and needs to learn the art of socializing.

Basically König overthinking everywhere and anywhere while reader's in her room doing her hobbies/taking care of herself, uncaring about the colonel.

You get bored easily, and need something to keep you grounded, keep you attached less you stumble into something people wouldn’t want you to with carelessly blunt words and an apathetic mind. Some have called you a psychopath, able to live a normal life, actively seeking gratification and fulfilling your ambitions despite the danger it brings; despite the pain it causes others; despite the lies and deception you use to achieve them.

Military was one of them. Some had normal, boring faces, whose minds were built like an intricately designed maze filled with possibilities and interesting things that made it worth pursuing, and others had beautifully scarred faces and unique traits, but were as boring as a wallflower, mundane and unchanging, normal and sane. All too boring for a curious mind like yours.

Then you met König, a giant with his face hidden - unknown - and fleeting moods that went from commandingly dominating and anxiously jumpy. You found him interesting, a nagging curiosity urging you to dig and unravel whatever curiosities he hid in that mind of his. He was an object of fascination to you, something you decided to invest your time into discovering, with lies and truths, promises and deceits, everything was a possibility as long as it served your goal.

The Colonel was a source of entertainment and power, but to him - as apathetic and cold as you were - you were a friend. Your little manipulation and charming words wormed it’s way into his mind the same way they did in your Ops, wielding a serpent’s silver tongue and the devil’s charm, you were something that he both admired and hated. It didn’t help that you acted the same around him, unbothered and unafraid —it made him feel normal.

So it’s not much of a surprised that he became obsessed with you, unwilling to part ways with you if he could, wanting to know you, your likes, your dislikes, your hobbies and your passions; and as long as he kept your interest going, this wouldn’t be the last of you he’d be seeing.

[padfootagain]

Something Good (XXIV)

Chapter 24 : Crying

Hello! Here is a new chapter for my Ben Barnes series!

My apologies for the angst of these two chapters… but not everything can go well!

Hope you like it, tell me what you think!

****

Pairing: Ben Barnes x fem!Reader

Warnings: Fluff, angst, Slow burn, professor AU.!

Summary: Coming out of a divorce and trying to get used to being a single mom, while teaching your classes at University, you thought your life could not get more complicated than it already is. But when you are asked to take care of the theatre club with the colleague that you really can’t get along with, you realize that everything can still get ten times more complicated in your life. And when you start actually liking Professor Barnes, the troubles only grow exponentially…

Word Count: 2327

Masterlist for the series – Ben Barnes’ Masterlist – Main Masterlist

Daniel looked up from his music sheet and blinked a couple of times, which only made you laugh.

Ben was being obvious again. It was a miracle that he had not called you ‘darling’ yet, you had noticed the way it had almost slipped a couple of times, but he had managed to hold it back. Still, with physical touch as his love language, it was difficult to be in the same room as you without touching you. And being seated next to you for an hour and not being able to reach out was actual torture.

Ben was glancing over at your hand so much, people were starting to notice, like Daniel over there, sitting opposite you. He noticed as well the way Ben tightened his hold on his pen to refrain his urge to simply reach out and touch you. You moved your hand away, earning a blush from Ben as he seemed to notice his own behaviour. And Daniel refrained a laugh.

God, this was a disaster… you would never be able to hide your relationship at work, this was terrible…

“So, how are we handling ‘Roxanne’?” Nathaniel asked, and it was your turn to notice how obvious he and Daniel were at stealing glances.

You couldn’t help but draw the comparison between you and Ben. Was that really how you were together?

There was a lot to be discussed, as always at the end of a session for the theatre club. February had arrived, and with its snow and bitter cold came the realisation that a good chunk of the year had passed already. And you had a lot left to do.

Roberta and Giselle, especially, seemed to start getting stressed because of the timelines to be met. You had started planning repetitions with the choir and the band affiliated to the university, and you were all anxious to make them all waste their time on your behalf.

“Don’t worry, we’ll be ready!” you reassured the group, but Ben didn’t say a thing.

“Ben doesn’t seem to agree.”

“We’ll have to be fine. Besides, these are rehearsals. Rehearsals are here so that we can all make a lot of mistakes while no one is watching.”

Despite his soft words, you could recognise a tinge of worry.

“That’s because he’s the pessimist in this team, and his job is to worry about every tiny thing that could possibly go wrong, while the rest of us have fun!” you answered in a grin, making everyone laugh, the air clearing again.

“Someone has to be responsible in this bunch…” Ben mumbled in faked annoyance, and you couldn’t help the tenderness that softened your gaze.

“A true worrier. Overthinker and too organized for his own good.”

“At least, I’m not a tidal wave of pure chaos.”

“The rules of physics have proclaimed that chaos always grows, no matter what you do. I’ve simply decided to stop fighting and go with the flow,” you fought back playfully, adding a hand-gesture to mark your point.

He was the first to break, unable to refrain a chuckle any longer, and you soon joined him.

“Well, as long as you stop messing my own stuff…”

You raised some surprised eyebrows.

“I do beg your pardon?”

“We should stop making our meetings for the club in my office, you always mess up my desk.”

You rolled your eyes, although a playful smile was tugging at your lips.

“Oh, poor Ben. I’ve displaced your red pen from its designated spot.”

It was his time to roll his eyes, but he bit his tongue and didn’t reply. You wondered why.

You planned out the rest of the month, giving everyone their goals and missions for the upcoming weeks. All the songs were integrated in the structure of the play now, but a few scenes needed to be rewritten, and you had not clearly worked on placement on stage yet, at least not for all of the songs or scenes. Costumes, decors, instrumentals… all of this was still to be planned too.

A lot of work to be accomplished, and yet, the students were still thrilled by the whole adventure. If they were sometimes worried, they were still highly motivated, and as soon as they got to play, they were excited and happy. It was a relief to find them all so enthusiastic still, you reckoned that you would have struggled with such a workload if it weren’t for the fun you were having with the group. And the fact that your boyfriend was participating didn’t hurt either.

As your students hurried outside the room to join their classes for the afternoon, Ben and you lingered for a while, finishing up planning and re-reading some scenes to make sure the dialogues were good to go. And as you were alone, Ben could finally reach for you and hold your hand in his. You couldn’t refrain a smile as he did.

“Okay! Done!” he proclaimed, closing his laptop and rubbing the edge of his nose. “I’m not working on that for the rest of the week.”

“Do you think we’ll be ready for May?”

He heaved a worried sigh.

“I don’t know, to be honest. It’s much harder than a regular play. But… as I’m the pessimistic one in this relationship…”

You giggled, leaning against his arm.

“You truly are!”

“A worrier, that’s what I am,” he nodded, but his voice lacked the playfulness it had harboured seconds ago, and you frowned at the sound.

“Hey… we’re in this together. It’ll be just fine…”

“Yeah… no… that’s…” he heaved a heavy sigh before speaking once more. “I’m not worried about the club. Not too much, at least. I’m… I’m worried about Saturday.”

“Oh…”

You looked down, averting your eyes, but you rested your head on his shoulder all the same, your thumb tracing a line across his knuckles. You had decided to tell Sally about the two of you this weekend. You would have been lying if you had pretended not to be worried about her reaction. Although there was no reason for her not to take the news well. After all, she loved Ben.

“I’m sure Sally will be happy about it,” you reassured him.

But Ben shrugged.

“I don’t know… It’s one thing that I spend time with the two of you, it’s another that I date her mother.”

“She’s young, she doesn’t really understand all this.”

“Perhaps you’re right.”

You waited patiently for him to speak again, feeling that he had more to say, but he needed time to choose the right words.

“I just… I know that you will always choose Sally. And I’m not complaining about it, that’s perfectly normal, she’s your daughter. But I… I’m afraid this will have to end if Sally doesn’t give me a chance.”

You tightened your hold on his hand without noticing.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

Ben nodded, deciding to change the subject, even though it was still obvious that he wasn’t convinced.

“Anyway, a coffee before going back to work, darling?”

You nodded enthusiastically.

“Let’s go to my office, I don’t feel like being interrupted by another colleague,” Ben proposed, and you nodded, but also remembered his strange reaction from your teasing earlier on.

“Ben? You weren’t upset when I teased you about being organised, right?” you asked as you stood up from your chair, and Ben picked up his laptop, tugging it under his arm as he stood as well. “You know it wasn’t meant as a critic, I was just joking around…”

“Of course, darling! I’m not that susceptible.”

“I don’t know you… you stopped yourself when you were about to say something.”

But he turned to you then, right before reaching the closed door, and a devilish grin informed you that he wasn’t upset at all, indeed.

“Hmmm… yeah, I couldn’t say that in front of the kids. They’re too young for that kind of things,” he joked, but you frowned, not fully understanding what he meant.

Your heart stumbled in your chest as he leant closer, wrapping an arm around your waist, dark eyes flickering to your lips and then back to your eyes.

“I wanted to tease you about how you mess up my desk.”

You looked away, struggling to breathe as you pictured the scene... You and him pressed together, lips sealed, fingers looking for bare skin…

“Right… I see.”

“And even though I adore this activity, I couldn’t say…”

“No, you couldn’t!” you interrupted him, taking a step back as you tried to regulate both your heart and your breathing. Ben’s low chuckle told you he was enjoying your flushed self a lot.

“Come on, darling,” he went on, nodding towards the door and his smile was tempting as it grew brighter, something dangerous glittering in his black eyes. “Let’s mess up my desk before going back to work…”

You had rarely been this anxious in your life. And perhaps it was a little ridiculous, but then again, tonight was so important.

You had to tell Sally that Ben and you were more than friends. It was time. Ben and you were doing fine; you were doing amazing, as a matter of fact. You had no doubts left that he loved you, that he was ready to be responsible with Sally, that he was here for the long run. That you both wanted this to work, that you were ready to put your heart on the table, an offering of a wounded and vulnerable prey, and you trusted him to mend the organ instead of eating it raw. Perhaps it was silly, given that you had been together for barely three months. Still, it was real. It was what you wanted. And Sally needed to know.

That’s why you were now sitting with Ben in front of the sofa, Sally sitting on the furniture in her pirate pyjamas, holding her bunny and throwing suspicious glances at you and Ben.

It was the evening, you had eaten together, a meal Ben had cooked, nothing too fancy but delicious all the same. It was the evening, and outside the world was full of darkness and yellow lights.

“What’s going on?” Sally asked, narrowing her eyes.

“We… we need to talk with you about something, angel,” you spoke in a soft, quiet voice that you hoped soothing and steady enough to hide your nerves.

She seemed worried by your tone though, and you hated that. You struggled to swallow, and Ben spoke in your stead when you remained silent. You had planned out your speech. Ben had written it down when you had started spiralling the day before at lunchtime. You had learned it, and yet now, it seemed… so hard to say the right words.

“First, we need you to know that… this is changing nothing about your parents. And that your mom and dad are always going to do what’s best for you first, no matter what.”

You nodded, before diving.

“You see… Ben and I, we… we’re a couple now.”

It was a little blunt, more so than the gentle phrases you had eloquently written the day before. But it was earnest, and you couldn’t say it any other way.

Sally didn’t say anything, she just looked back and forth between you and Ben.

“It means that… Ben is going to spend more and more time with us, that’s all,” you tried to reassure your daughter, although her reaction was unreadable. “For you, that’s the only thing that will change for the time being. Ben is just… going to be around more. And help me take care of you sometimes, the same he’s already been doing, really. Nothing big is going to suddenly change, you don’t have to worry about that. But… we needed to tell you. Because we… we’re not going to hide the way we feel in front of you. I know that it’s complicated for you to understand, that it’s adult stuff but…”

You fell immediately silent when Sally started crying.

Tears fell quietly at first, and then a gentle hush sound, and then a true cry, and soon she was sobbing and wailing… and you remained frozen in place, staring at her tiny frame shaking and her cheeks wet with tears.

You blinked, it took you what seemed like forever to react, to reach out for your daughter.

“Sally, calm down, it’s not a bad news. Why are you crying?”

“Sally, it’s alright, nothing’s going to change,” Ben added, but Sally kept on crying.

You stood up and reached to hold her, but Sally pushed you away, and you heart broke at the sight.

“NO!” your daughter cried. “I DON’T WANT THAT! I DON’T WANT BEN!”

“Sally, calm down…”

“NO! NO!”

Before you could stop her, Sally had jumped from the couch and was running into her bedroom. You heard the door closing with force, and then everything was still.

Ben hadn’t dared to move, still sitting on the carpet, looking wide-eyed in the direction of your daughter’s room. When he finally turned to you, you exchanged a blank glance. He moved to sit closer in what seemed to be slow motion, as if reluctant, as if afraid of what would happen once he would have reached you. And he was right to be wary. You were crying when you looked at him again, and he knew too well why tears were staining your cheeks now.

Sally was everything to you. She prevailed over everything else in your life. You would have done anything for her, including sacrificing the man you loved, giving up on your own happiness.

If Sally couldn’t accept Ben as your partner, you would leave him.

When he reached out, wrapped his arm around your shoulders to hold you close, lips pressed to your hair, you both started crying.

And you wondered if this meant that it would be your last evening with the man you loved.

******************************************

Taglist: @reg-arcturus-black @sergeantbuckybarnes @wolfmoonmusic @idek-what-to-put @kpicard @rhapsodyonthethames @friendly-philosopher

[mc-lukanette]

Luka was in the middle of taking out the trash when his phone started vibrating. He stopped to reach into his pocket, pulling it out to check his notifications.

Rose was spamming the Kitty Section group chat, going off about how there was an interview starting soon about Ladybug's love life. Mylene responded from Ivan's phone to express intrigue, whereas Juleka replied her usual short reply of 'cool.'

Luka had to resist the urge to roll his eyes. He knew well enough that the relationship between Ladybug and Chat Noir - as well as their civilian selves - was more rocky than a concert. Knowing the news too, Ladybug hadn't been told what the interview was about before being called on; probably was called on her own specifically so she'd suspect nothing. It was scummy, but that was the way they'd treated her for a long time, always out for a scoop.

Somehow, despite keeping track of Ladybug for years, the news had yet to realize what Luka had a long time ago: that pressing the relationship actively made everything worse, and if they couldn't get together on their own then it simply wasn't meant to be.

That said, it was still something involving Marinette, so Luka wanted to see it. He finished up his task, then returned to his living room to tune into the channel Rose had mentioned.

He was just in time to catch the middle of the show "welcoming" Ladybug to the set. There was an audience too, because of course there was, and Luka's thumb ran anxiously across the remote thinking of how Ladybug must've felt figuring out where this was all going.

"So, Ladybug, are there any updates on the relationship between you and Chat Noir?" the interviewer asked. "The world wants to know!"

Ladybug didn't visibly react to the question, but Luka knew she was tired of hearing it. He was impressed by her immeasurable patience when her love life was no one's business.

"..Listen," she began carefully, fingers twitching against her lap, "no matter what anyone might say, or whatever anyone thinks happened in the past because of all those pictures taken out of context, there's nothing between us."

The audience let out dejected sighs, apparently having nothing better to do in life than fantasize over two superheroes dating.

"But Ladybug," the interviewer said, undeterred for the sake of their building scoop, "even if you say that nothing's happening now, surely there's time for that to change, no? After all, if the two of you had a fight, it's important for you to—"

"Nothing between us," she interrupted, raising a finger. "I'm sorry for constantly disappointing everyone about it, but that's just how it is. Chat isn't for me. Besides..." She paused, hesitating as her gaze grew distant. "I'm not going to date anyone. Not anymore."

"Ohhh~!" they leaned in upon finding their next point of attack. "A Ladybug with a frozen heart? What could've happened, and what guy could ruin things so much that—"

"He didn't ruin anything!" she burst out, offended by the implication. An awkward silence stretched out at the reaction, but Ladybug wasn't phased. She frowned, crossing her arms and averting her gaze. "He was amazing, actually; the only guy I've ever dated. Calm, sweet, and the kind of guy that could always make you feel at peace."

The remote fell from Luka's hands, and he didn't notice when it landed on his foot.

"I'd even say that he was too good for me," Ladybug continued with a sad smile. "People might look up to me, but I'm not a perfect Ladybug. I had a lot going on, no time to do much of anything, and I could never be the girlfriend he deserved."

The interviewer shifted in their seat, suddenly uncomfortable. They clearly hadn't been expecting such a response when they prodded.

"I avoided him for a while and a part of me still wants to, but I know that he's forgiving enough to miss and want to spend time with me even now." She chuckled bitterly. "It's still selfish to stop trying to get close to him like we used too, but he reminds me of everything I've dreamed about but could never have. I'm already married to my duty to Paris. There's no room for anything else."

The audience was silent. The story that the show had wanted hadn't been juicy or telling in the slightest; just... sad.

Ladybug, finally noticing the tense atmosphere, settled back in her seat and gave a practiced, fake smile to the interviewer. Sad, but gentle, she requested, "So, no more questions about me and romance. Please..."

Luka was already out the door by the time the interview ended.

——-

After texting Marinette as casually as possible, already anticipating the minutes of delay for Ladybug to leave the interview, Luka eventually got a response confirming that she didn't have any plans for that day. It was perhaps a little deceptive, but he asked her out for a casual time at a cafe, knowing that she wouldn't be able to say "no" to it. It wasn't a private setting, nor was there any implication that he was doing it for a date, and she knew that he knew that it would be suspicious to reject him when she'd just admitted to having no plans.

He'd always kept it a personal rule of his to never tell Marinette that he knew unless she told him herself, but that was before he became aware of how much it'd been holding her back. It wasn't either of their faults - they'd both been grieving over the break-up, as he'd now realized, and it had been awkward talking about it - but that didn't mean he felt any less obligated to fix it now that he was able to. It was late for it, but he couldn't leave things as they were while knowing what he did.

Luka idled on his phone while he waited, only looking up when he heard Marinette's distinct footsteps approaching. She wore a small, restricted smile that he'd made sense of in every wrong way in the past, but he wasn't going to make the same mistake again.

"Luka," she greeted, then added weakly, "S-sorry if I'm a little late."

"We didn't pick a time," he reminded her. Apologizing for "being late" was a norm for her, so he wasn't surprised when she did it out of habit.

"Oh. Right." She scratched her cheek sheepishly, turning her attention to the nearby cafe. "Anyway, is this the place?"

He nodded, putting his phone back in his pocket and promptly opening the door for her. She gave him an appreciative look, approaching to head inside, but he spoke up once more to warn, "I really need to talk to you."

She froze, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. He could almost see the flash of thoughts pass by with the way her expression suddenly shifted as she thought about how he's usually not this serious, wondered if it was something important, and then wondered if something bad had happened. He kept quiet through all of the unspoken questions though, so she headed inside and he followed after her.

They got a table, some drinks, and a small dessert for each of them before Luka felt like it was okay to start talking. "I know, Marinette."

She looked up, having just put a forkful of her dessert in her mouth. "H-hm?" She swallowed her food before asking for clarification. "You know... what?"

He placed his hands on the table, clasping them together as he eyed her. There were times where he'd suspected that she'd figured him out without putting it all together, and this was one of those times.

"Your stage name," he replied, which was about as blunt as he could be in a place where others could hear their conversation. Giving her a careful look, he stressed, "You didn't do anything wrong either. I've just... known for years."

She stopped breathing for a second, eyes leaving his to stare silently at the table. "Y-you—oh, so you..." She brought a hand to her mouth and set her fork down, losing her appetite for the time being. "Then, did you—"

"Yeah. I saw," he confirmed.

"You weren't supposed to hear any of that," she said in a panic. "If you're mad, I'm—"

"How could I be mad?" he asked, reaching to place his hand atop hers on the table. Seeing the baffled look she gave him, he explained, "I heard the girl of my dreams, who I've been in love with for years, say that she's been singing in harmony with me."

Her face heated. "S-still? But—no." She shook her head and pulled her hand from his, bringing it to her chest to cover it with her other one. "W-whatever you want, Luka, I can't give it to you."

"It's not about what I want." He gestured to her. "It's about you."

She looked up from the table to make eye contact, puzzled. "Me?"

"Marinette, I..." He trailed off, trying to figure out the best way to tackle the subject. Tapping a finger on the table in thought, he asked, "Have I ever told you why I didn't want to become a rock star?"

Though she was still in shock, she managed to respond, "I thought... I just thought you were an introvert?"

He chuckled. "I am, but there's so much more than that. I could force myself to do it if the job was appealing enough, but it isn't. There are a lot of expectations placed on you when you're a rock star, and... well..." He glanced at her meaningfully. "It's hard, finding someone who will let you play the way you want to."

He knew she got the metaphor when her hand gravitated to her ear. He could hear her legs shifting from the fabric of her pants rubbing together, her mouth a thin line as she took in his words.

"I..." She sighed. "That's already my life. I don't have a choice in what I play; I don't even have a schedule."

"Do you think you don't deserve to be happy, Marinette?" He knew it was a harsh question, but he needed to make sure.

"No!" she answered immediately, then hesitated with a more uncertain, "No? I just—I messed up all the time, and it's more stressful worrying about not making more mistakes to someone I..." She trailed off.

"You don't have to worry about that with me. I know what happened between us, but that was my fault for projecting my insecurities from what was happening with me and my mom." Looking back, he still didn't know why he'd even done that. Odd. "You can make mistakes, and you can be late. We don't even have to plan anything so you can't be late. It can just be us in our pajamas on the couch."

She cracked a smile at the mental image and he smiled in return, though the fact that such a simple thought made her happy hurt in a way even if it felt like progress.

Just barely suppressing her grin, Marinette pulled back into her Ladybug professionalism to argue, "I'm playing for an audience who'd be upset if I'm not paying attention to them all the time. This...this isn't about me, it's about everyone else. If I'm distracted or doing something else, then—"

"So you won't let yourself be happy so you can keep track of everything on days you might not even have to play?" he countered, his hand on the table curling into a fist.

She flinched at the accusation, biting her lower lip and looking down at her lap.

"J...Jagged can handle his job," she stated, clearly reaching.

"That's just it, Marinette." Pausing for effect, he then pointed out, "Jagged can play whatever he wants and loves his job, but even with all that, he still wanted to put himself back in my life. He still wanted to make it work. What does that say about what's going on with you?"

Her lips parted in realization. Troubled, her brows furrowed, eyes darting around the room at random.

"I'm not expecting or asking anything of you," Luka clarified. "I just want you to let yourself be happy, no matter what that looks like."

He meant it. While she had essentially said that she was in love with him over the interview, he would've approached her on the matter even if it'd been someone else she was interested in.

After a long silence, Marinette even taking a moment to pick her fork back up and stab at her dessert, she sighed. "I-it's your fault."

He blinked. "What?"

"This is why I didn't—!" She aggressively shoved a piece of her dessert into her mouth, then swallowed before saying accusingly, "You're always encouraging me, a-and making me want to do things for myself!"

She made it sound like a bad thing. It would've been amusing if it weren't so sad. She reached out, resting her hand over his and brushing her thumb over it.

"Making me want to be happy," she murmured with a pout.

He placed his free hand over hers, insisting, "You can be. Maybe it won't be the same way as everyone else, but you can be happy."

"With you?" she blurted out, a hint of hopefulness to her voice.

His heart skipped a beat at the suddenness of the question, but he nodded. "We'll work on it together, I promise. I don't know how long it'll take to convince you, but even if it took forever, I'm not going anywhere. I'm yours."

He could feel her hand shaking, worrying momentarily when she pulled back again. He watched as she ran her fingers idly along the edge of the table, as if in thought, then she pushed herself up and walked around the table to him.

Just as he was about to open his mouth to call her name, she bent down and kissed him. It felt like lighting going up his spine in every best way, and he reached up to cup her cheek while kissing back.

Given that they were in a public place, it didn't last long but was nonetheless full of emotion. Marinette was blushing pink when she pulled away and returned to her seat, at which point Luka realized that she'd been shaking earlier because she was happy.

"I-I guess—" She giggled, licking her lips in a way that he felt vaguely teased by. "...maybe it's okay if I'm a little happy."

He beamed. Marinette might've still had to deal with putting on a concert for all of Paris, but he'd always be waiting backstage for her afterwards.

[my-writings-and-musings]

We have our conclusion! Through the power of democracy we have arrived on IDW Swerve x Reader, heavy on the fluff! This was incredibly fun to do, I'm a bit of a data nerd so having numbers to go with ideas just makes me happy, you know? Also we had a pretty good mix getting here!

Without further ado, here's the fic!

No one who hadn't seen it would have ever believed you, but you'd learned from firsthand experience the secret Cybertronians were most desperate to protect; they were utterly adorable when they got sleepy.

Between the yawns and the clumsy rubs of their optics, the towering species somehow managed to shed every bit of their renowned intimidation when they felt the urge to recharge, and after countless late night escapades and sleepovers you'd gathered enough data to confirm the phenomenon applied to every single bot. Some were a bit more precious than others when the weight of exhaustion pulled on their heavy optics, but you'd decided the cutest among them had to be the mech you enjoyed hanging out with the most, and tonight he was in rare form.

Swerve had made himself into a partial blanket fort for the two of you atop his berth, settling you into his lap after draping himself with some of the many sheets he'd piled into a makeshift nest for maximum comfort whilst movie marathoning. After several hours of binging and snacking you were admittedly a little worn down, but the bot at your back was obviously struggling to keep his optics open. You could feel him sagging forward an additional inch every so often, and the occasional glance upwards revealed his visor dimming whilst his reactions to the story grew increasingly subdued. After taking a while to see if he would speak up (and appreciating the cuteness) you decided to give him an easy out.

"Swerve?" you said when an especially quiet moment in the film gave you a chance to pause it on the wall sized monitor, pocketing your remote and leaning forward so you could look backwards and upwards more easily.

The barkeep startled a little at the query, then blinked in confusion as he looked down at his lap. All of his usual smooth sass was nonexistent as he visibly wrangled with his exhausted processor to produce a single syllable; "Huh?"

"It's okay if we call it a night, we can finish the movie tomorrow." you offered helpfully, certain now that his shift at the bar must have taken far more out of him than it usually did. To your slight surprise, he gave his helm a shake and quickly plastered on an upbeat smile, holding you a little closer in a manner that was more protective than possessive.

"What? Don't be silly, I've got at least..." he trailed off in thought, something that looked quite difficult for him with so little energy to spare. "Two... Three more whole movies in me! Not tired at all..."

You'd never heard a more obvious lie in all of your life, and your heart felt a twinge of pain at his desperate bid to ignore his own needs for your benefit. It was hardly out of habit for him, but it always made you sad to think how he didn't believe you stuck around because you liked him, and that he was allowed to have his own needs and wants. Putting a hand over one of his, you spoke plainly to try and cut through the lie. "You look exhausted."

"Hey, this is just my face, nothing I can do about that!" Swerve countered quickly, fake smile growing ever less convincing. "Besides, you know me! I've stayed up way later than this, and we don't get to hang out that much as of late, so-"

You realized there was simply no way to get him to acknowledge his needs, so you changed strategy on the fly, knowing there was one easy way to get him to turn in. "What if I'm tired?"

That did the trick straight away.

"Oh, well uh... In that case, you should get some sleep." he agreed with a nod. When his shoulders slumped and he made to rise from the berth, you realized he was once again failing to realize you intended to spend the night, despite that always being your preference. "I can take you back to your room-"

"Can't I stay the night?" you asked quickly, smiling in affectionate exasperation at his inability to realize you enjoyed spending time with him. The question perked him up right away, and a genuinely happy smile cut right through the fog of his exhaustion.

"Sure, if you want!" he agreed straight away, trying and failing to untangle himself from the blankets as the temptation of sleep made movement increasingly more difficult. "Let me just get the screen powered down, then we can get comfy."

"I've got it, you go ahead and settle in." you assured him as you pulled out your remote, giving him the opportunity to rest at long last while you shut down the movie and the projector. Despite his weariness, you felt him perking up at your back, the fact that you were spending the night making him happier than any amount of words could ever convey. Still, he couldn't stop himself from yawning the second you turned back to the screen.

"Just going to rest my helm here..." he said with a bit of a slur, lying back when you left his lap and settling somewhat heavily on the nest of blankets. In what couldn't have been more than an instant the sound of gentle ventilations met your ears, and you chuckled softly as the screen offlined and the room went dark. Turning to see him already deeply powered down on his side, you felt your heart warm with affection. All of the stress of the day had evaporated from his frame, and he looked utterly adorable amongst the messy nest of blankets.

"Goodnight, Swerve." you whispered before tugging a blanket across his square frame, getting him as covered as you could before cuddling up against his chassis. Laying a pillow on his arm and pressing your back to his front, you let the soft hum of his spark lull you to sleep, and you didn't miss the smile that spread across his peaceful face as he subconsciously pulled you closer.

[mikuni14]

Be My Favorite Ep 12

I had serious fears about the finale of BMF, I worried that the drama would do what has already happened with so many of the other series: that it is great, even sensational… and it is all ruined by the final episodes. I liked ep 11 of BMF, as well as the previous 10, but there was something off about them, something that didn't fit the drama's vibe, which worried me that the series would waste its potential right at the end. Kawi being annoying in the previous episode worried me even more because Kawi, despite his "unusual" character, NEVER seemed annoying to me.

Well! I should have believed in this show because everything fell into place, including the annoying Kawi! 😁 (although how am I supposed to believe in BL dramas when so many of them don't know how to stick the landing???)

It turns out that Kawi being annoying, as if ...sort of hadn't completed his inner journey, hadn't used the full potential of time travel, still had subconscious doubts about himself, about Piseang, and their relationship. Perhaps this is the result of the fact that Kawi has made these journeys alone, "fixing things" only by himself, and Piseang just kind of reacted to them. After Piseang made his own journey into the past, he believed Kawi, saw what it's like to want to "fix things" and how to react to this urge (do it or let it go?), realizing that "fixing" can actually make things worse, only then both finally grown up and understood what it was all about. What struck me was how Kawi finally seemed genuinely… relaxed and carefree on their date, compared to the tension and downright avoidance or fear of "letting go" on their first version of their date.

To sum up BMF: in my opinion, this is one of the most interesting, most intriguing, most original BL series I've ever seen. The series made excellent use of Krist and Gawin's acting talents, allowing them to use their full potential and skills. I don't know if there was anyone who wasn't afraid of pairing these two 😃, especially since Gawin has a large fandom and Krist has, um, a "history", so to speak. Our fears turned out to be completely unnecessary, both gave it their all. Krist created one of the most interesting characters ever, Gawin as Pisaeng is simply a godsend, and he did a great job as ML. Both of them handled perfectly both dramatic and comedic scenes. The series for me was very original by BL standards, like their inner journeys, their development and growth, which they usually did independently of each other (!!!!), their unique personalities and imperfections, especially Kawi's, so rarely seen in BL series. That they talked a lot, that Piseang didn't hesitate to call out Kawi, that he always informed him about how he felt, if Kawi had done something that hurt him. That they were always honest with each other, that they argued and fought, that they apologized and did not run away from responsibility for their actions. You know what I was afraid of in the final ep? That Piseang would decide for himself, that he would leave Kawi so that he would never get infected from him. That although so far Piseang has never done a favorite BL trope, i.e. escape without a word of explanation, he will do it now due to "noble reasons". And Pisang yes! he thinks about it! but doesn't disappoint at the very end and like always, he talks about it with Kawi, he's honest with him, he lets Kawi react. The series also created very good side characters, good and bad, with their own stories. BMF also had a lot of good one-liners and life advices, but all done so… nice, without moralizing or lecturing. The final summary of the time travel theme, the punchline of the series sounds simple, but at the same time great 🥰

I have so many thoughts about the finale and the whole series, but I don't know how to put most of them in words, it's like.. I don't know how to describe what I feel... 😎

Ultimately, I have no objections, because the ones I had after episode 10 and 11 have been clarified. Be My Favorite is one of the most interesting and original BL series I've ever seen. I know it's not for everyone, because it's quite specific, because it's so different from traditional Thai BL and Kawi is... odd for the main character of the BL series 😉 but in my opinion BMF deserves the highest marks.

[arandomperson5647]

Encantober 2023 - Day 13: Fear

When the cracks in Casita had worsened, a sense of dread had filled the house. Julieta Madrigal stared in shock as Casita rumbled and the cracks grew more and more. The previous day had been so joyful, it was crazy to realize how much can change. She couldn't believe the stuff she heard her mother say to Mirabel. She'd have to have a stern talking to later, but now was definitely not the time. A strong shudder caught everyone off guard; Julieta and Agustín held onto each other to keep balance. Julieta heard a snapping sound that was particularly close, but she couldn't tell were it came from- "GUYS LOOK OUT!" Luisa shouted as she picked her parents up and ran just before a pile of debris could land on them. Despite loosing her gift, years of working out had still made her stronger than the average person. Julieta and Agustín glanced at her in thanks, there was no time for a verbal one. As they were let down, a yelp was heard from the other side of the courtyard. Julieta turned to see Isabela and Camilo fall from the second floor. "Are you guys okay? Are you hurt?" she quickly asked as she helped them up and led them to the front door. They could only nod before being interrupted by a loud thud. The trio almost screamed in horror at the sight of Antonio almost being crushed by his own door. Julieta quickly pushed her hija and sobrino in the direction of the front door before quickly scanning the scene. 'Alright, I just got Isa, Luisa is helping mamá, and…wait. Where's Mirabel?!' With her heart suddenly dropping to the pit of her stomach, Julieta desperately looked around to find her youngest daughter. It didn't take long to find her….ON THE ROOF?! Was her daughter trying to grab the candle?! "Mirabel!" Julieta cried, fighting Castia's urges to get her out. "MIRABEL!!" Either Mirabel didn't hear or she simply ignored Julieta. Casita's tiles finally caught a grip on Julieta, sending her, and anyone else trying to resist, backwards. The Madrigals were flung outside, away from the danger. Julieta quickly got up to see her daughter still going for the candle. "MIRABEL! Mirabel, LEAVE IT!" she desperately shouted, hoping her daughter would just listen. She watched in horror as more cracks surrounded Mirabel, debris threatening to topple down. Mirabel wasn't going to back down. There were distressed cries from the others, but none convinced the girl to get to safety. Julieta couldn't believe she's willing to risk her own life for the miracle. She couldn't believe everyone thought the miracle was worth more than their own lives… Julieta shrieked as Bruno's tower came toppling down and Mirabel slid off the roof, out of Julieta's sight. The sound as the bricks and tiles came crashing down was deafening. Julieta prayed that her daughter was alright. If something happened to her baby girl, she'll never forgive herself.

Not even a second after the dust cleared, Julieta raced through the rubble to find Mirabel, fearing the worst. "Mirabel!" The lack of response worried her, but didn't last long as she quickly found Mirabel. Oh, gracias a Dios, she was alive! Julieta wanted to hug her, but didn't want to risk worsening any potential injuries. It was already a miracle she survived. "Mirabel, are you hurt?" Julieta asked, cupping her daughter's face. Mirabel only shook her head. She seemed devastated about something but Julieta couldn't tell what. It didn't take long for her to notice the burnt out candle. "Mirabel…" Before Julieta could comfort Mirabel, she heard her sister calling for her. "Julieta, come quick!" Julieta hesitated before Pepa called again; it sounded urgent. "Don't move," she told Mirabel, "I'll be right back." Reluctantly, Julieta went to see the matter. Luisa had went in shock from the whole ordeal and Pepa called Julieta and Agustín to help. After calming Luisa down and deciding she'd be okay with only Agustín, Julieta turned to see Mirabel again….only to find she wasn't there. "Mirabel…?" Julieta's heart rate accelerated as she looked around. Where did she go?! "Mirabel!!" Julieta rushed around the debris, hoping to find her again. "Where's Mirabel? Where is she?!" Everyone could hear the panic in her voice as she called. "MIRABEL?!" Mirabel wasn't anywhere in sight. The entire family searched to find her, but there was no trace. It was already dark, something could happen and no one would know or could help her. If she got hurt, she couldn't heal with her mother's food and she could be suffering by herself. These thoughts only made Julieta panic even more. "No, nonononono, this can't be happening," she muttered to herself. She wished this was all just a nightmare and that she'd wake up to everything back to normal. It was a "nightmare", just not the type you dream. "She has to be here somewhere."

It was the middle of the night, and no one had found or heard Mirabel yet; not even the villagers. Pepa, Félix, Isabela, Dolores, Luisa, and Camilo agreed to take shifts searching for Mirabel. Pepa, Isabela, and Camilo took the first half of the night, then Félix, Dolores, and Luisa would take the second half into the morning, assuming she isn't found yet. Alma would stay with Antonio, who was too young to go searching and needed his sleep. Understandably, Julieta and Agustín persisted that they'd search the whole night. It took some convincing, as everyone knew they'd eventually need rest, but this was their daughter at stake and nothing was going to stop them. Julieta and Pepa both searched in the nearby field in different sections. They agreed to meet back at Casita's debris in a few hours. Even then, there was no sign of Mirabel. Pepa was on her way back, disappointed she couldn't find anything. She was very worried for her sobrina, but there was no time for panic. Julieta was already worried enough as it is. For once, Pepa had to be strong for her. Besides, she felt a little guilty taking Juileta away for a moment, letting Mirabel run off. As Pepa got closer to Casita, she could hear light whimpers, causing her to quicken her pace. She found Julieta sitting on a flat surface, tears flowing and lightly sobbing. Pepa's heart broke at the sight. "Juli?" she quietly asked, slowly approaching her sister. She did not know what to do; she was never the comforting type. Eventually, she spoke again, "…Would you like me to sit with you?" Julieta nodded, slightly moving over to make room. After sitting down, Pepa offered a hug, to which Julieta immediately accepted. While she didn't know what happened, Pepa could probably guess. Julieta had reached her breaking point. The stress and fear built up so much to the point where she broke down. Pepa knew what that felt like. "What if we don't find her?" Julieta suddenly asked. It was so quiet, Pepa had almost missed it. "What if something happened to her and we never know?" Oh no. Pepa was not gonna let her sister go down a spiral of "what ifs". It only led to even more stress. "Juli, look at me," she said, holding onto Julieta by her shoulders. "Trust me when I say this, she will be okay. We'll find her and she'll be safe. She's a smart girl and she'll know what to do if something happens. Everyone's looking for her, so we should be able to find her soon. She couldn't have gotten too far." She wiped a tear from Julieta's eye. "Don't stress yourself out too much. When we find her, she will be okay." Julieta seemed to have calmed down a bit, but she was still tearing up. "Come on," Pepa said, "Breath with me." Pepa started taking a deep breath in, and slowly exhaled. Soon, Julieta followed suit. Julieta would usually have Pepa breath with her if the latter needed comforting. Pepa was glad to realize it was just as effective on her sister. After a few moments, Julieta's eyes stopped watering and she began to breath normally. It was silent for a while before she spoke, "Thank you for doing this. It means a lot." Pepa smiled. "It's no problem, I'll do anything for you. It's about time I return the favor anyways." It wasn't long until Agustín came back, and Pepa briefly explained what happened. It was decided that the couple should rest before starting their search again.

The search finally ended the next morning. Julieta and Agustín were making their way back to Casita when they heard some kids shouting. "She's back! She's back!" They perked up at this, before sprinting to Castia as fast as they could. The church bells were ringing, increasing their hope. Agustín had tripped on the way but told his wife to keep going. "Mirabel?!" she called. She rounded a corner to find her baby girl, safe and sound. Neither Julieta or Mirabel wasted time running to each other. "Mamá…" Mirabel said as they warmly embraced. Julieta could feel the tears of joy in her eyes. That moment was the biggest wave of relief she has ever felt, and hopefully it stays that way.

[helly-watermelonsmellinfellon]

Real Intrusive Thoughts *CW Descriptions of Violence*

Every day on Twitter someone shares a screenshot of a TikTok where some woman is talking about how she is fighting her intrusive thoughts and it's just her thinking about getting a haircut or painting her walls a new color. Or one was some girl lying in bed and thinking about how she occasionally got the urge to go bungee jumping despite how heights scare her.

Real intrusive thoughts are dangerous. Not just something random that has no consequences or lasting trauma to anyone or anything. It's not changing shampoos or hairdressers, or rock climbing, or going to haunted houses for a thrill.

It's called intrusive because it forces your mind to travel in unsafe directions and makes you contemplate ideas you'd much rather avoid.

For instance, my intrusive thoughts center around harming myself and other people. The moment something of significant weight, that can fit in my palm, is in my grasp, my mind instantly envisions what it would be like to mutilate myself with it, or possibly bash a stranger's head in. This includes grotesques mental images with extreme violence plus what the results would be. I'm imaginative and my mind supplies very detailed scenes with ease, and they make me feel ill.

As a result, I don't like tools. I don't like being near toolboxes. I don't like having these thoughts. I want to not think this way. I want to not sound like a serial killer as I explain these thoughts I've had.

I hate how the one time I had an alligator wrench in hand and the thought of hitting someone came to mind, I almost struck my mother upside the head with it and managed to switch targets to my leg in the last second once I realized what I was about to do.

I was in full motion without even noticing. I almost did something incredibly fucked up simply because the thought came to mind. I had a bruise for weeks. I felt terribly guilty and never told my mom because I wasn't sure how to word it where it didn't sound fucked up.

Even now, when I avoid heavy things because of this, it still happens on a minor scale because palm-sized fruits have always made me think of lobbing them at people to cause harm. Every single time. To the point where I was talking aloud about hitting people with things and laughing at the potential pain it would cause them. And people would laugh with me. Until... It was funny when I was holding oranges, it wasn't funny when I was holding a santoku knife.

Maybe I'm irrationally scared, IDK. I haven't actually hurt anyone but myself so far. It's been over a decade but the thoughts still happen and I still occasionally end up acting before realizing.

I have Anxiety and Depression, and probably a few undiagnosed problems I haven't had a proper doctor check out yet. I am aware that my mental state isn't in the best of places half the time.

Intrusive Thoughts are dark and terrible. It's like my life is a YouTube video and every half hour I get a random ad that's just a terrible urge to cause harm of some sort, and sometimes it escalates to that point and my body is on the receiving end.

I'm so sick Ms. Mayo-Anne over here confusing impulsive with intrusive. If my problems were as simple as cutting my hair or going rock climbing, I'd be a much healthier individual mentally.

[movedtodykedvonte]

I wanna hear more addison and Spamton headcanons >:D

Okay, so this is a lot and is mostly about how addisons actually manifest and like are "born in a sense" I'll prolly make another post and link this with HCs specifically about my Spamton and my interpretation of the addisons later. Anyway, I actually made shitty visuals for this. Under a cut cause I realize this is fuckin long

Stage One: Baby Mode

Addisons start out as things called data sparks. Each spark consists of a different type of data collected from cookies, caches, search histories, and general internet activity. They create a soft glow due to all the energy compacted into them.

They can come in any color but the most common are Orange, Blue, Yellow, and Pink. White data sparks are leftover data, think of abandoned searches or misclicks on websites. 

Usually, they dissipate due to a lack of substance but are sometimes purposely thrown in the trash zone to avoid inconsistent data altering the more substantial sparks.

Each spark usually corresponds to whatever searches were most common. If you looked up a lot of information about plants then the data spark will consist of intel on plant care and products and gravitate toward other similarly colored sparks with the same data.

Stage Two: Fusion Dance

When enough of these sparks manifest, they will try to sync with similarly colored data, spinning around each other (kinda like a loading circle) to determine if they can sync and become a larger data clusters.

Clusters are a very short-lived period of the Addison manifest cycle where they stabilize and the product they advertise will be determined. Despite this, some ads do change what they specifically sell over their existence, though the same in the same industry.

Rarely, white data sparks will form into clusters and try to determine a product. This often fails due to the scattered data but instances of properly colored sparks syncing with the white clusters by mistake have yielded paler, inconsistent but stable addisons. 

Even rarer is white clusters forming into a stable addison, usually, they disburse due to their instability but occasionally they can get by with reprogramming or modifications.

Occasionally sparks may sync with the wrong colors. Usually, this just creates weirdly toned ads with odd tactics or pitches that seem confusing. This is usually hindered by those who monitor the syncing process.

Stage Three and Four: Ready 2 Sell & Bussiness Buddies

At this point, they are full-fledged Addisons and ready to sell whatever product they were manifested to sell. They still go through a training period by more established Addisons and general instructors to ensure there are no unidentifiable glitches

Often Addisons flock to similarly colored ads initially (blue with blue, pink with pink, etc…) but will gravitate towards ads that are in the same industry or sell similar products. This is both due to being a social species that like to have common grounds and the urge to create a connection for sales purposes.

Usually, sparks form clusters in mass and in groups. This means that typically 2-4 ads will form at the same time similarly colored or not that all are in the same advertisement industry. These ads will likely sell the same type of products and thus will feel a closer bond with each other. 

Though never related, ads determine what type of relationship they will have based on how and who they naturally gravitate towards. Some choose to remain strictly business within their groups while others develop more personal or intimate dynamics. Still, advertising takes priority.

Stage ???: You're fucked up

Of course, some ads are botched or just bad at their job. These ads most likely had an issue during the clustering phase in which not enough data was collected or they simply had too much conflicting intel.

These ads struggle to make ends meet due to not being able to attract customers, form connections, and the inability to manifest products in a lot of cases. They are not purposely ostracized but it is common for “proper” ads to avoid interaction out of fear of also being seen as “defective”, “glitched” or “corrupted”. For ads, it is also a superstitious sign of bad business.

These ads however retain their ability to glow (as when they were a spark) due to never fully stabilizing. This is often used to compensate for other deficiencies or in some cases find business in darker, deeper, and more foreboding parts of the internet… Some clients are desperate for any salesman to sell the “products” they need.

Otherwise, these ads just try to work for more successful business owners and lay low for the most part. They are often very defensive and close to addisons like themselves and live in very close-knit communities with each other.

This is just one part of like a much bigger web of info I have about the addisons and why color theory is an integral part of their culture but it's the dumbest thing ever. Will it ever get elaborated on? Maybe if I don't forget.

[saespeaks]

This isn't poetry or anything but I don't have any followers anyway and I'm not tagging this I just need to shout into a void.

It feels unfair to anyone who might call me a friend for me to be in their lives. And I don't say that as a, oh woah ehz me moment, I mean it like. Like, I've always been the way that I am. I am skittish, and jumpy, and often times irrational. I am isolationist in my habits, I am awkward and not easily understood when I talk to people. I have been waiting to "disappear" every day since I was like six, and even before then - before I understood that concept in even the most abstract of ways - I still knew there was something "wrong" with me. Something that can't be fixed.

And it's not fair to anyone who may care about me to witness that. It will often come across as lashing out when I realize that something I said triggered someone so I remove myself from the situation so as to not accidentally make it worse because I accidentally caused it in the first place. It will hurt them to see me hurting, even when I know I've always been like this and likely always will be like this. I've been in therapy for most of my life, I've done everything short of ketamine therapy - it doesn't get "better". This is what my brain is like. This is just what my brain is like.

And maybe that's okay, you know? Maybe it's okay that this is just the way that I am. I have a 100% success rate of making it through the day despite this being the way my brain is, and that streak will continue until something out of my control happens to me - something *no one* can fix. But until that happens, I'll be here. I'll be forcing my way through each and every day, not always happy but always here. And that's okay. For me.

For others? I'm less convinced. I think people have a tendency to want to see the people they care about thrive. They want to see them happy. It feels explicitly unfair to subject people to my company when I know that's simply and literally not in the cards for me. They're always going to be worrying. They're always going to be unsure if they should be stepping on eggshells or if they should just say what they mean anyway. They're always going to wish I was happier than I am. More comfortable than I am.

I can be content in my solitude. I really can be. But the people that care about me want more for me than that. They want me to be surrounded people who love me. They want me to feel like I don't have to be alone to feel comfortable. But that's the thing - I *do* feel more comfortable alone. I *do* *literally* feel most comfortable when I am completely alone. Every romantic relationship I've ever had has ended in abject misery and more trauma. Every friendship I've ever had has ended in an explosion at worst and dying embers at best, when they realize I just literally can't be what they see in me. The image of me they craft in their minds *is not me*, it's who they want me to be, and I am just simply and literally not that person. I've only ever felt truly safe when I am completely alone. My parents never made me feel safe, my sibling never made me feel safe, my friends never made me feel safe, my romantic relationships never made me feel safe. Putting myself in social situations is a constant practice in forcing myself out of my comfort zone. I have only ever truly felt safe when I am alone. When I'm alone, I can't accidentally hurt people with my words or actions. When I'm alone, people can't hurt me with their words or actions. When I'm alone I can trust my own intuition - when I'm around other people I have to manually and literally *force* myself to *ignore* my intuition just by virtue of being around other people - because EVERY fiber of my being, my every atom, doesn't want to be around other people to begin with. And sometimes I get a stray urge to be around other people. Every once in a while the hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution rear its ugly head at me and demands I not isolate because humans are social creatures.

But. Nonetheless. When I listen to that unholy impulse, it never fails to cause pain. Either to myself or to others. I am simply not built - not wired - to be a social person. And forcing myself to be someone I am not only causes pain. Actively, forcefully, consistently. It causes pain. If not to me, to the people around me. And the older I get, the less it feels worth doing. I am okay being alone. I am the okayest I ever am when I am alone. And maybe that's enough. Maybe it's enough to be a romantic with no where to direct that romance. Maybe it's enough to be a nerd with no one to nerd out with. Maybe it's enough to just exist, and get through each day as it comes, without relying on the company of others to fill a void within me I'm not even entirely sure exists to be filled. Maybe it's enough to never quite be happy, to always feel a dread and a longing for the end of myself, and still make it through each day anyway. Despite that. Because of that. It will come for me one day regardless, all I have to do is be patient. Be present where I am for what time I have, because no one has endless time.

I think being alone isn't the worst thing I could be. But I think being a bad friend is up there, and I think me existing authentically just the way that I am directly contributes to me being a bad friend. I'm sick of worrying people by just existing. I'm sick of accidentally upsetting people because I don't understand where a conversation is going until it's too late. I'm sick of always feeling like I'm always going to fall short no matter how hard I'm trying.

It feels unfair to anyone who might care for me to subject them to my company. Some people really are just better off alone, and I may be one of them, and that's okay. It's not a problem to be fixed. ***I*** am not a problem to be fixed. I just am. And maybe that's enough.

[byanyan]

ㅤsomehow, the silence feels worse now than it had before they'd spoken. gaze kept pointedly on the bar's surface, byan gingerly lowers the balled up tissue they've been using to nurse their bloody nose and chews at their equally busted lip. they're not sure what they're expecting in response, but it's not the quiet anger that seems to roll off of cassidy in waves, filling the already tense air and making it that much more stifling. it's the sort of anger that causes a panic of fluttering nerves in their chest and throat, builds up this skittish urge to simply run away rather than sit here and toil in the silent guilt and discomfort. they'd rather he outright shout at them for being a troublesome nuisance than force them to stew in it like this, not knowing what's going to come next...

ㅤ—fortunately, he speaks up before the instinct to take flight can fully kick in, reluctantly pulling their eyes his way. unfortunately, his words are not what they're hoping for, cleaving through them like a knife.

ㅤㅤ" that's not— "ㅤan argument begins, byan bristling as they watch the bartender resume his cleaning, biting their tongue to shut themself up as they seethe. for once in their life, they're trying to be honest with him, and he's not buying it. they can't blame him for it, considering the number of times they've gone out of their way to cause him trouble, not to mention how often they've openly mocked him for trying to be even slightly friendly with them or slapped his open hand away when he's only tried to help.

they can't blame him for not believing them, but that doesn't mean it doesn't piss them off. never one to bare even a sliver of their soul lightly, it's all the more infuriating to have it brushed aside as though it's just another lie, regardless of how well-founded that belief might be.

ㅤㅤ" this isn't about lena. "ㅤin fact, she had barely crossed their mind this whole time, their focus instead on cassidy, who had come to bail their ass out of trouble despite all the grief they've caused him. one call, one desperate call upon realizing they were in over their head was all it had taken, even with the most minimal explanation on their part before hanging up, and he'd come to the rescue. much as they didn't want it to, it's admittedly made them rethink a few things, even caused an uncomfortable knot of guilt to form in the pit of their stomach — something they're already starting to regret for allowing it to get the better of them.

ㅤthis is why honesty is never worth it. it only ever hurts. shoulda just kept your stupid mouth shut.

ㅤㅤ" whatever. "ㅤgiving up as quickly as they started, a voice in the back of their head hurling insults at them for being such an idiot, the teen's hand balls into a fist around the bloodied tissue within, and they shove themself off the barstool they've been perched upon with an irritable huff. turning their back, hair falling to cover their face as they bend down to swipe their bag off the ground, they don't bother to cast another glance back at cassidy.ㅤ" forget it. tell her then, i don't give a shit. not like she ain't used to it. "

@byanyan asked: ↪ Quotes from things I’ve written “I don’t hate you. I don’t blame you if you don’t believe me. I’m not askin' you to forgive me, either, but… I don’t hate you” (:

Even as reluctant and soft spoken as it is, their words rupture through the thick silence of the empty and closed bar like an EARTHQUAKE — causing a faulter in step as he moves behind the bar to finish his closing routine. But he doesn't spare them a glance...just continues grabbing glass after glass, from bin to shelf, bin to shelf in a monotonous way the bartender WISHED the night had started with.

But no — instead, it started with an unusual and CRYPTIC phone call, which was followed up by a wild goose chase to find the kid, just to have to break up an argument and ensuing FIGHT that could've easily ended up at the emergency room for any number of them.

And maybe it was the awfully quiet ride back to the bar that made them utter their finer feelings towards him now. Or how this is just another example of how they usually prove to be more bothersome to him than what they're worth — how it's an intentional thing, and they KNOW IT. Just to piss him off. Or perhaps it was the mixed look of disappointment and UNEASE he'd worn since they left the scene, Cassidy having always been stuck in a weird limbo of uncertainty with Byan — never knowing exactly where he stood on that friend to enemy scale.

It's why the silence between them briefly returns, Cassidy leveraging all these thoughts and reeling in some of that simmering ANGER left over from tonight's situation, for Byan's sake — leaving their statement to hang in the air a moment before he finally turns to address it.

" — 'least not when it's CONVENIENT for you, huh?" It's mumbled under his breath before he busies himself with clearing the counter, looking for a distraction before he ends up saying something he'll regret...

"Jus' cut th'crap, kid. If this is your way of tryin' t'keep me from tellin' LENA, you'll have t' try harder than that..."

[lupically]

#FFF8EA | XIAO. 

genre | fluff

word count | 2233

warning | mention of falling off a moutain​

note | i just have some ideas for xiao...

"the yaksha is fond of you."

madame ping was no stranger to you. the kind old lady roaming around yujing terrace, often seen admiring flowers or brewing a cup of hot tea, was someone you come across every afternoon after school when you head to the censor to make a wish to rex lapis.

the conversation you two have had always been brief, mainly because you were always in a hurry to get to work. she never minded your urgency, blissfully talking about how fast-paced and active young people these days are, and simply being happy that you even stopped to let her hand you some glazed lilies from time to time.

interestingly, though, she stopped giving you glazed lilies after a while and began handing you some pretty qingxin instead.

you never questioned it. it was just flowers. you could live without being gifted only one kind of them for the rest of your life. but after today's incident—after the burning down of your school located just outside the city, as well as what madame ping told you with hearty laughter laced in her voice, you were starting to think the switch to qingxin meant something.

"the yaksha is fond of you."

you tightened your hands around the weak strap of your school bag, made out of bamboo after lots of trials and errors, and you tilted your head with increasingly furrowing brows.

"pardon me, the what is fond of me?"

"the yaksha, my dear."

you stared at her. the corner of your lips was quirking up in confused twitches, and she could see that you were fiddling uncomfortably on your spot because you truly have no idea what she was talking about. it was not because of the history of the yaksha that might have made you feel jittery and out of place, you simply had no idea!

madame ping smiled even harder at your innocent oblivion then. how could you have such ample knowledge of rex lapis and the adepti, but nothing about the yaksha? especially the one with his mark, a jade green glow surrounding you like fireflies, all over your aura?

maybe that was why xiao chose you.

or, at least, it was one of the reasons why he liked you.

it was because you knew nothing of him. you never think about him, you never talk about him, and you would never suspect the string of random good luck and trails of safe travels that have been following you around.

while it must be tearing him down on the inside; the fact that he wasn't being able to approach the one person who made his good deeds a choice rather than an order. it must be plaguing his mind and patience every day.

but, even then, your surprising lack of information about his identity does save him the pressure of being chased down by you.

it saves him the problem of being even further attached to you. it was already pressing on his breaking point when he went out of his way to watch over you, leaving trails of his magic over your mortal soul to keep you safe when he was busy. any further interaction would be disastrous.

logically, he knew he would fall for you, so he was doing preventive measures. he has to keep his chest sealed so his heart wouldn't jump toward you involuntarily; he has to keep his chest sealed so you couldn't see all the mess inside.

"oh, sweet child," madame ping cooed as she walked toward you. she whispered to herself, "you're being protected by an adeptus and you don't even know."

she brought up a qingxin from her pocket, the petals slightly wrinkled from the confined space. she tucked it carefully in the pocket of your shirt before patting the bloomed flower, almost as if she was reminiscing.

"this is his flower," she said.

you hummed, looking down at it. "this is his favorite flower?"

"i'm not sure about his favorite flower, but this is his flower," she replied casually.

you pursed your lips together. well, at least now you knew the qingxin did have something to do with the... yaksha... or whatever.

"madame ping... may i ask–"

"you can find him at qingyun peak," she cut you off calmly. "during the lantern festival. he is always there during the festival. it was for the quiet, he said, that old man."

you shut your mouth, surprised that she knew what you wanted to ask. "uh... qingyun peak... is kind of... a big place..."

"you will find him if he wants to see you," she said. "you can speak his name–xiao. he might not show himself to you, but if you have something to say, he's likely there to listen."

qingyun peak. the lantern festival. the yaksha.

right.

that was how you found yourself bearing the freezing night cold with just a thin shirt and a ragged fabric wrapped and tied around your torso, your hands hurting from grabbing sharp edges and rough rocks, and your anxiety increasing with every jump that not only would the almond tofu in your bag fall, but you would as well.

as opposed to watching xinyan play for the lantern festival, being warm and cozy from the warm city lights and the tasty street food, and maybe even letting go of a lantern yourself after making a wish, you were here. you were alone, climbing mountains for a chance.

all for a random boy madame ping told you about! someone who was supposedly fond of you—if this xiao guy was so fond of you, he would have shown himself the first three times you called his name at the bottom of the mountain!

"fond of me–what a joke," you said through gritted teeth as you hoisted yourself up on a small ledge. "i'm going to kick his ass so hard when i find him."

you let yourself pant for a minute, regaining your stamina as you groggily accessed the higher peaks above you. your eyes squinted in dismay, but something inside you—the curiosity for the truth, as well as the longing for a friend, also the anger for playful revenge—urged you to keep going.

"he better eats the almond tofu i made," you muttered to yourself as you moved closer to the mountain. "i even picked some flowers... for him."

jump after jump, you were close to making it to the second ledge when suddenly, a slime jumped and appeared above you. it looked surprised, mirroring your expression, and as it prepared itself to attack you after seeing your hands move, it stopped when it saw you fumble about in the air before you began to fall further away from itself.

you had let yourself go. out of surprise, and an instinct to grab a weapon, your hands moved away from the edge and you fell.

your mind raced as the wind hit your face, your falling body heavy against the current that desperately tried to take you up from the ledge you just climbed up from. you would surely die from the impact if you drop. even without dropping down to the bottom, you would still suffer from a painful death.

was there something to do? how did this happen, you were doing fine! what should you do, what could you do? you were falling already—what was there to do now? anything, something?

"i–archons–" you heaved with the cold air, your lungs squeezing inside you with fear as tears began to drip out of your eyes.

anything? anybody?

xiao?

"you can speak his name. he might not show himself to you, but if you have something to say, he's likely there to listen."

"xi–" your voice broke for a millisecond when you could see the green grass approaching quickly. you squeezed your eyes shut, and your voice was louder than you have ever allowed it to be.

you called his name, loud and clear.

the first thing you felt was a lightning strike. you opened your eyes at the electric feeling to find a flash of green. it was bright, close and bright, in a way that was blinding. but then the tail broke into gentle fragments as a pair of arms circled your body to catch you from the fall.

one arm went around your waist, the other hand securely tightened itself around the back of your neck to keep it from breaking from the impact of his fast landing.

xiao growled under his breath when his feet struck the ground in a heavy blow. he pushed your head to his shoulder, shielding your face away from the soil that bounced upward as a result.

quietness ensued after a moment of calm. you took the moment to access the situation—you were fine. someone, likely xiao, saved you from the fall. you were fine.

he dropped onto the ground, sitting on the cold grass with your body pressed close to his, when he heard that you began to sob from the accident.

despite feeling awkward and unsure, he kept quiet and let you vent out the post-accident fear so you could slowly bring in the relief that you were still alive. but his quietness was unwelcomed when you suddenly curled your fist and hit him across the shoulder.

"screw you! why didn't you just answer me when i–when i was at the bottom of the moun–mountain! screw you!"

you blamed him and you hit his shoulder repeatedly. your weak fist was nothing compared to the pain he has endured in the past, but your cries cut through him like glass in the most seamless pattern when he realized he was part of the reason why you had to go through that traumatic experience.

if he had just jumped down from the peak when he heard you the first time, this would not have happened.

xiao looked at the empty spot before him. his golden eyes glowed with a softness that has long fallen into the abyss, forever gone and forever abandoned. but he brought it back out now because he cares about you, and he is, ultimately, attached to you, and he loves you.

"you're right," he said, holding you close to him. "i'm sorry."

ever since you discreetly left the almond tofu on the roof of the wangshu inn, your shy figure hunched over in an apologizing manner because you were told that you were giving food to an important, albeit weird, guest, and your blissfully ignorant words of encouragement as you told him to go out and explore the world, to give it a chance so he could find people he would like.

ever since then, he has loved you, in fragile and discreet ways, in unwavering and patient ways, in protective and caring ways.

"i love you, i'm sorry."

you stopped sobbing almost immediately, and he was afraid he might have said the wrong thing.

wasn't it what he was supposed to do? verr told him to speak his mind once. just be truthful with his feelings and nothing could go wrong. was he not supposed to show his affection blatantly, as he would his complaints and opinions?

"that... that is going a little too fast for me, xiao," you joked. "let's settle with appreciating each other for now."

he heard you laugh, causing the weight of his heart to drop, like finding lights in a fog, like seeing the lanterns in the night sky and realizing that there are more people alive with you than you think.

"thank you, for saving me," you said kindly then, your fist long stopped hitting him and was now patting his shoulder.

"always."

“but burning my school down is not the best approach for... whatever it was you were trying to help me with.”

xiao blinked in confusion, then realization hit him. he almost forgot about that! he was, shockingly, dwelling in the prideful fact that because he literally destroyed the building, you would be free of school for the day, and therefore not having to face all the hardships inside the walls he could not venture past. he thought it was the best thing to do, second to beating up everyone, which he politely opposed to.

“i am not sorry about that,” he muttered. “it was what i thought was best.”

he could feel you grin in his embrace. your laughter reverberated in the air, making his magic glow around you both. it was like nothing he has felt before. he wanted to stay like this—in this position where you were engulfed by him, where he could surround you with himself instead of the fireflies of green he has left behind, where he was with you in a way it was entire, in a way he could feel your beating heart against his own.

you are pressing onto his breaking point.

you are going to open him up, see him whole, and renovate his insides to your will. you are going to take his heart from his chest, breaking through his ribcage made feeble from his sheer affection for you, and claim it as your own. you are going to make him love, like sharp knives, like soft breaths, like tragic past, like warm blood, you are going to make him love.

you are pressing onto his breaking point.

and xiao lets you.

because you will be worth the tragedy, you will be worth everything.

[todoscript]

how he would ask you out

request: pls some headcanons of how the boys (shinsou/tamaki/shouto) would ask the girl they like out 🥺

characters: shinsou hitoshi, amajiki tamaki, todoroki shouto

genre: fluff

word count: 3.3k+ total, 900-1200 per character

tags: pining, confessions, fem!reader

author’s notes: sorry if this sounds rushed?? i can’t write 

copyright 2021 todoscript, all rights reserved. i do not allow my creations to be published or translated anywhere else.

SHINSOU HITOSHI

two years after his enrollment into the hero course, shinsou had finally came to terms with the feelings he’s been holding for you for quite some time now.

what began as just friendly encounters and kind gestures felt like something more to him. after all, you were one of the key people that led him to transition smoothly into the class, with your helpful demeanor and coming to his aid whenever he was stressed and troubled by the new environment.

you went out of your way to organize study sessions and small arrangements to mingle and get to know the other students better.

you reiterated to him that if he ever had any questions about anything, he could always come to you.

initially, shinsou thought he was being a burden—that he was just heavy baggage that tied you down.

however, you assured he was anything but, and stated that you were more than happy to help him, even going to say you enjoyed spending time and getting to learn more about him.

at your response, shinsou was appalled at how genuine you were.

appalled… but also very grateful.

eventually, there came a point when he realized there was no mistaking the affection he felt for you—not when he subconsciously noted every one of your habits and intricacies, able to tell whatever emotions were running through you at a simple glance, or when he would stop to admire the way you decided to style your hair differently or changed your look, thinking you seemed even more charming that day by the confidence you exude.

no, at that point, he’s sure it was painfully obvious. so obvious, in fact, that kaminari and mina had chosen to skip today’s group study session in favor of letting the two of you have your “alone time”. whatever that could mean.

shinsou had grimaced over their excuse of “being too busy that day” when you had told him the reasoning they gave you over text, despite knowing their next exam was only a couple days away. recalling just how nosy and enthusiastic they could get when involved in these kinds of affairs, he had an inkling of what exactly those two were planning. you, on the other hand, seemed completely oblivious to their schemes.

however, what did latch onto your mind was the thought of spending the day with only shinsou, in his very room, sitting across from each other with your textbooks open in front of you. though you should be more attentive to your studies, you couldn’t help the palpitations beating loudly in your chest and your wandering eyes that snuck glances at him after every question you answered.

unbeknownst to you, shinsou mirrored your actions all the same, reciprocating the flustered behavior, albeit a bit more subtly.

keep calm, hitoshi. why are you getting all worked up? he would say to himself, putting on his usual facade.

although he came off as relatively calm and collected on the outside, it’s difficult to keep his emotions in check when actions never lie.

that was especially true as he reached his hand out for the eraser you two were sharing between each other. with his eyes continuing to gander down at his notes, he hadn’t noticed that you were lunging for the same thing—not until your fingers had suddenly touched and you both pulled away at a speed equivalent to making contact with fire.

his stare unfaltering, shinsou was surprised to discern the embarrassed look on your face that immediately fixed itself as you rummaged through your pencil pouch. a second later, you pulled out another eraser, one that was notably smaller than the one you were sharing.

“um.. i’ll just use this,” you offered, and shinsou rubbed the back of his neck, the whole situation more awkward than it needed to be considering you never had any trouble sharing your supplies with each other before.

through some examination of your demeanor, shinsou had made a… bold enough claim, thinking that maybe—just maybe—you held the same kind of affections for him as he did for you.

it’s like he recalled earlier—actions never lie—and shinsou didn’t let the quiver of your lips or the intense concentration at your work to avoid meeting his gaze go past his head. that’s what spurred him to finally act on his desires.

without warning, he leaned forward on his seat to lay his hand over yours that caught your attention. you met his eyes, astonished to say the least, but more so concerned by how your eyes widened before you were about to open your mouth to ask him what was wrong.

the violet-haired male beats you to your words, voice resonating firmly, “y/n.”

you blinked. “y-yeah..?”

“i know this might be a bit late coming from me, but,” you could feel his hand tighten atop yours, “after exams, do you want to catch a movie together? just the two of us?”

shinsou fought the urge to look away, bashful at how he made his declaration for your time. the warmth surging under his skin was alleviated at the smile that slowly curled on your lips as you rotate your wrist, your palm touching his. the expression washing over your features told him you’ve been waiting for him to ask you this for a while now.

“i’d love to.”

AMAJIKI TAMAKI

ever a shy and introverted individual, tamaki has never had the heart to ask you out despite years of harboring a crush on you.

every time the thought had crossed his mind, he’d reason poorly with himself that you wouldn’t be interested in him in that way.

it didn’t help that his low self-esteem only deepened that thought that had now rooted itself in his brain.

at such a prestigious school like u.a., you were bound to find someone far more compelling than him—someone with guts, confidence, and great social skills. not a guy like him who conjures the image of potatoes at every anxiety-inducing encounter he comes across.

he was relieved enough to settle himself comfortably as just your friend—a title that allowed him to stay close and keep within your circle, all the while subjecting him to simply admiring you from afar.

but his eyes that held a hidden longing for more weren’t overlooked by a fellow student of his. or to be precise, the ever curious and free-spirited, hadou nejire.

always aware of his surroundings, it was hard not to notice that peculiar stare she’d aim at him during moments where he might’ve just finished speaking to you, or when you’d pass by and his head would naturally drift in your direction.

it was like she was picking apart every detail laid on him and it made tamaki absolutely restless.

tamaki’s suspicions and anxiety were later raised during one instance at the lunch table. he was at his usual seat next to his other big three companions, mirio and the aforementioned nejire, who was eyeing him with a gleam in her eye.

even with his self-consciousness, tamaki did his best not to pay any mind to the undesired attention and munched on his plate of takoyaki—the octopus nestled in the batter sure to come in handy later in training that day.

to his dismay, you passed by their table with your tray of food in hand, and nejire did not waste any time calling you over in that cheery tone of hers.

she invited you to sit down with them. you gave her invitation some thought before ultimately placing yourself in the free spot next to mirio, with nejire and tamaki already seated across from you.

the girl was all smiles and hums while tamaki was in a state of distress, both at his friend’s odd behavior, which was starting to spell trouble, to having you pulled into all of this. mirio was just being mirio, welcoming as always.

you greeted everyone at the table, making eye contact with mirio and nejire, but tamaki evaded your line of sight. he simply waved his reply without breaking away from his balls of takoyaki.

luckily for him, you didn’t give his lack of words much thought and started digging into your own lunch. it was then that nejire found it appropriate to start up a conversation.

“y’know, y/n, i’ve been meaning to ask you this, from one girl to another,” she mused, finger waving around playfully, “are you interested in anyone here?”

upon hearing her question, tamaki almost choked on his bonito flakes, his cheeks puffed and eyes blown. meanwhile, your chewing slowed as you gave your answer some thought.

“uh… well–”

“i’d say fujita from class d is quite the looker! think you’d be interested in them?”

after swallowing the food in his mouth, tamaki began to subconsciously listen in on the conversation. he paid close attention to your responses with bated breath, a small part of him anticipating your answer highly.

“fujita’s nice and all, but i don’t think we’d really get along as a couple.”

tamaki mentally sighed, relief evident all over his face. it was then that mirio had started fitting the pieces together after watching his close friend’s brow wrinkle throughout the entire exchange before finally relaxing at your words. crossing his eyes with nejire’s only confirmed his suspicions as the girl sent him a wink.

as a friend, mirio wasn’t about to let nejire’s operations fall flat. getting up from his seat, he motioned tamaki to come with him.

“i heard they have extra yakisoba bread right now! we should go check it out!” he said as a guise to give the other two time to themselves, free from tamaki’s prying ears.

unaware that mirio had caught on so quickly, tamaki didn’t object to tagging along with him. mostly because he thought of this as an opportunity to get some fresh air and calm his racing heart, finally feeling the effects of the blood rushing to his face.

with tamaki supposedly out of earshot, nejire was free to go about her questions however she wanted.

“okay then, if not fujita, then who? there has to be someone, right?” the girl scooted further in her seat out of pure curiosity. “tell me, is it perhaps someone in our class?”

it was your turn to be stricken by her boldness. you tried picking at your food, stuffing it into your mouth to avoid answering, but nejire’s tenacity outmatched you.

finishing your lunch, you opened your mouth to speak, “actually, the person i’m interested in is pretty close to you…”

nejire feigned ignorance, innocently placing a finger under her chin. “who? mirio?”

“ah no, it’s tamaki, alright?!” you ended up blurting, voice hushed but frantic.

bingo. hearing exactly what she wanted, nejire returned to her original position, a triumphant grin plastered on her lips. replaying what you said out loud in your head, you buried your warm face in your hands.

unbeknownst to you, tamaki had ended up hearing the whole exchange around the corner coming back to their table as mirio lightly snickered at his revelation of an expression.

the blond patted his shoulder. “go on then, you know what to do.” he threw tamaki an encouraging thumbs-up.

the boy gulped in response before inhaling a deep breath of air to prepare himself for what would arguably be the most important yet stress-inducing moment of his life so far.

noticing you getting up to discard your tray, tamaki—through a final push from mirio—went to make his move.

hearing him suddenly call out to you, you were caught off-guard. after admitting to your crush on tamaki to nejire, you felt your cheeks get hot just seeing his face right afterward.

“oh hey, did you get your hands on those yakisoba breads?” you scraped up a way to start the conversation.

“right... that… mirio managed to get the last one in the cafeteria,” he answered. then he brought his hand to rub his elbow, fidgeting in his spot as he found it difficult to look you in the eyes again.

“tamaki? something wrong? are you upset that he got the last yakisoba bread?”

he shook his head. “no, i… it’s just… i’ve been meaning to ask you this for a long time now, but never had the courage to say it to you because i didn’t think you ever liked me that way. but…” he finally mustered the determination to face you head-on. “would you go out with me, y/n?”

at first, you were speechless—absent of words as you relayed his request in your mind over and over again. then, your eyes softened, lips easing into a smile as you reached out for his hand.

“i thought you’d never ask.”

TODOROKI SHOUTO

it’s no surprise to many that when it came to asking someone out, todoroki didn’t exactly know the first thing to do.

mostly because he’s never asked anyone out to begin with.

you were the first person he’s ever felt these kinds of emotions for, and to be frank, he wasn’t sure what to make of everything that had been going through him when that root of infatuation had started to bloom inside him.

rather than sulk or contemplate on his thoughts for too long, he surmised it was best to simply come clean and ask for advice.

but when he confessed to what had been on his mind lately, he wasn’t expecting such a vigorous response from his friends.

“i’ve been thinking about asking y/n out.”

there was a layer of uncomfortable silence amongst the group before all hell eventually broke loose.

midoriya, uraraka, and iida immediately sprung from their seats in the common room, yelling “what?!” in unison. tsuyu and her frog-like mannerisms were more idle, but still surprised nonetheless.

todoroki was unfazed by their reactions, actually expecting it to go that way considering he’s never brought up any topics of that nature before. at the very least, he’s thankful he decided to say this when it was just the five of them. compared to what the whole class’s reaction would have been like, this was incredibly tame.

todoroki was used to always listening to what others had to say and never being the subject of the conversation when it came to dating.

but now things were different. he was openly admitting to them that he was regarding someone romantically. that he possibly sought a relationship with this someone—wanting to be committed to them and become the very best person he could be right next to them. to the four, this was coming completely out of left field.

after everyone simmered down and let the news sink in, the dual-haired boy resumed his thought,

“but i’m not sure how to do it.”

though the entirety of the group never had any experiences when it came to dating, they knew enough from media and pop culture to get an idea on how to help him. more than todoroki could imagine on his own anyway.

“i know! how about we go with the romantic and suave approach!” uraraka suggested. the rest asked her to elaborate.

“it’s simple! it starts by you leaving a note on her desk right before class, saying to meet you on the rooftop of the school! before the designated time, you should wait there for her with a bouquet of flowers, and then when she arrives, confess your feelings and ask her out!”

midoriya rubbed a finger against his cheek, skeptical. “i don’t think that sounds as simple as you’re making it out to be.”

tsuyu chimed in beside him. “those kinds of ideas usually only work well in books, ochako.”

pursing her lips, uraraka gave her plan a once-over, and realized it did seem a bit more involved and out of character than what todoroki was used to.

despite sharing a few more ideas with one another, they couldn’t narrow it down to any perfect one.

that was when iida clapped his hand, bringing everyone’s attention to him.

“alright, i think we’re starting to blow this whole ‘operation’ way out of proportion,” he said.

“if you’re honest about the way you feel about her and show it sincerely, i’m sure she’ll consider your feelings. you don’t have to do anything extravagant when it comes to asking someone out.”

listening throughout every word, todoroki nodded. meanwhile the other three were astonished that their class representative could be so whimsical when it came to romance, which in turn, iida was conflicted by. however, at the very least he was glad they could help out a friend. and so, todoroki went about his day with their discussion in mind.

he found that in many occurrences, whenever he crossed by you and thought of it as a chance to ask you out, there would always be someone to come in and take your time away. leaving him to stand there awkwardly before dismissing the fated question for later.

eventually, the sky dimmed and evening arrived, and by then, the whole class was already back at their dormitory and about to have dinner.

through some rather convenient circumstances, you two were actually assigned on kitchen duty that night.

“it’s been getting pretty cold lately so i was thinking we should cook up a hot pot for everyone.” you gave your idea to him as you pulled out some ingredients from the fridge, waiting for his reply, but it came a few seconds later than you were expecting.

“right. sounds like a good idea,” todoroki answered a tad late. upon realizing it was only going to be the two of you making dinner tonight, his mind was occupied by what he and his friends spoke about earlier.

that was when he started overthinking the situation and absentmindedly half-assed his work.

“todoroki, the cut on the tofu is slightly uneven.” you reviewed his cutting board. looking down, he saw the inconsistent slices of tofu limp in front of him. if bakugou were the executive chef for the evening, he would’ve had to hear an earful from him.

“sorry…” he apologized quietly, reaching out for another cube of tofu to cut.

“is everything okay? i know you’re still learning how to cook, but i’ve seen you show some significant improvement on your knife skills recently.” you voiced your concern for him.

the white and red-haired boy stared at the white bean curd while hearing your worried tone and couldn’t find it within himself to continue the task. it was now or never he thought. he laid the knife flat on the cutting board.

“actually, i wanted to ask you something.” he turned toward you. “do you… want to go out with me?”

nothing but the sound of the fire running on the stove could be heard in the kitchen. todoroki didn’t move his eyes away from you, watching you nearly drop the plate of siu choy and shiitake mushrooms out of shock as your mouth was hanging open.

when you caught onto your bearings, you let out a small laugh. “oh… i… wasn’t expecting that,” you admitted honestly, placing the ingredients on the counter safely.

the boy furrowed his brows. “is that a no?”

“n-no! i mean that isn’t my answer! i–” you fumbled with your words, cheeks warming up now that his confession had finally sunk in. in the meantime, todoroki found your reaction quite amusing. the corner of his lip quirked into a grin.

“what i mean to say is that yes, i’d love to go out with you.” you accepted the offer wholeheartedly. todoroki would be lying if his heart wasn’t throbbing from anticipation. he’s glad he’s able to rest and put that aside.

“now let’s continue making this hot pot together!” you cheered, smiling widely and he found comfort in your words before resuming slicing the tofu.

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

I liked the Eclipse idea and had Thoughts so like the previous person I’ll do a little writing since I probably should get back into practice anyways– Apologies for any weirdness, I have never-ever written Y/N stuff, or fanfics, mostly just stuff for me about my characters. So this may come-off as a bit inexperienced, and that’s because it’s true

You stood in the entrance of the pizzaplex before it’s officially opened, a building you honestly never thought you’d see the interior of. Almost everyone nearby knew the franchise of course, with it’s bright, flashy and distracting appearance and their undeniably incredible marketing team. Maybe also a few rumors. But the issue with you being here was… Well, money. You had enough money to buy yourself something new on a good day, and barely had enough to eat on the bad ones.

But this job is going to change that, you remind yourself. The pay was honestly incredible, if a little suspicious. Okay, maybe a lot suspicious considering they hired you over the phone right away but you weren’t going to question it. You’d probably be fine, right? They’d talked to you about what the job would entail (sort of) and they’d sent you some papers to sign but it didn’t quite look like you signed your soul away just yet.

You blink and shake yourself out of your thoughts, seeing one of the robots wheeling by. You assumed that this one was more akin to an employee than a main attraction since you’d never seen one before and it looked rather unassuming. Curiosity itched something in your brain- but you needed to focus! You were here to work. Maybe you’d get to investigate those staff bots later.

Slowly walking through the empty entrance hall it feels massive. You realize you don’t know where exactly you’re supposed to be when one of those staff bots rolls up to you and… Stares? You stare back, and the silence is deafening. As you begin to speak to apologize it suddenly shoves something into your face, which flaps around like cheap paper. It takes a moment for you to realize it’s speaking now. “PLEASE, TAKE A MAP. TAKE A MAP. FREE MAP.” It was almost scary if not for your overwhelming bewilderment at this first introduction. You take the paper from it gently and it quickly pulls away, borderline shouting a “THANK YOU.” before simply leaving you. You reach to call for it but pause when you look at the paper in your hands, and sure enough, it’s a map! …A very confusing one, albeit.

Despite getting lost a few times, running into a few staff bots, and almost smashing your nose against the floor when you tripped on what appeared to be nothing, you made it! The person who had gone through the hiring process with you on the phone spoke too quickly at times for you to understand, but you knew you were here to help with an animatronic in the daycare. Apparently there was two of them, but something happened, and now you’re supposed to fix whatever it was or build upon it. Whichever ended up easiest. But first-things-first, you had to clock in! You remember something about the daycare having a security desk you should go to, so that’s what your new mission is.

Walking inside the door creak loudly behind you, making you inwardly flinch a little. You think about snooping in some maintenance closets later for something to ease those hinges, as you remember your map had them marked, for some reason. Once inside you look upon the sanctuary created for children. As a kid you would’ve catapulted yourself right into everything in this room, and a part of you still feels the obscene urge to climb up the biggest slide in sight as of now.

Failing to calm your inner child, you shuffle to the desk. But just before you can touch anything you feel a looming presence behind you. You turn slowly, hairs nervously prickling on the back of your neck from just how silent this assumed entity was. You look up to see a much much much larger animatronic in front of you. It looked like a number of things, off the top of your head, but you didn’t remember it from any of the advertisements you’ve seen. You decide in your head that it sort of looks like a star, or something planetary and a huge smile erupts from your face in child-like glee and amazement, causing the animatronic to tense and even stumble backward slightly.

-

WELL NOW I WANNA EITHER WRITE THIS OR READ IT STOP THIS I CANT HANDLE MORE THAN ONE FIC AT A TIMEEEEE

also! for a first time, this is really good???? stop being more talented than me (im kidding pls continue)

[soulwillower]

housesitting •  richie tozier

(richie tozier x reader)

requested: no

had this in my drafts and figured i’d finish it and post it, sorry for being away, but idk if i’ll keep writing! hope you enjoy, i’ll prob still come back and update/post fics on this account on occasion. love u guys lots and i hope you’re all doing okay <3333

warnings: drinking, unprotected sex, oral (fem and male receiving), light deepthroating/face fucking, praise kink, degradation, use of the words slut, whore, etc, suuuper unedited

(losers + reader are 21+.)

4.7k words

♡

the moment you stepped back into your flat, dropping your bag heavily on the ground with a sigh, you finally felt like you could breathe. 

today and yesterday had been a nightmare - you and your roommate bill had gone home, planning to stay for a week with family and friends back home. 

you'd spent the first night out with old friends at the bar enjoying yourselves and  you'd even gone home with a handsome boy you'd had a crush on in high school. but just as he was about to go down on you, after you'd gone down on him despite how terrible his b.o. was, he said he wouldn’t because it was 'gross.' 

you hate to admit but you were slightly tipsy and horny, so you still stayed for ten minutes of awful, boring missionary before he fell asleep. then when you'd left in the uber, a voice message from your boss threatened to fire you if you didn't come in and finish a project - so you had to scramble for a flight home, leaving bill back with your friends in maine for a few days, and now you're just ready for a shower, a nicely packed bowl, and a large dinner. 

because good god, that was an awful trip. 

"hello?" you call, rubbing your eyes as you walk towards your kitchen, wondering if your roommate's best friend was still here - he was supposed to stay and take care of the apartment while you were away. 

but instead, your eyes landed on a complete mess in the kitchen; solo cups everywhere, trash, empty chip bags, furniture moved and counters sticky from spilt beer. 

"what the fuck?" you project, eyes landing on the figure who walks into the kitchen, towel hanging low on his hips as water drips from wet, shaggy curls of hair. you meet the bright eyes of richie tozier, your roommate’s best friend. 

he looks like a deer in headlights, his glasses slightly fogged as he blinks his eyes owlishly and you swear his eye lashes tangle together as he blinks. "oh, hey y/n, why are you here?" 

and honestly, richie has always made your fingers tingle and your abdomen clench when he so much as looks at you, despite bill’s groaning and glaring when you refer to him as ‘hot friend number one.’ (he had a lot of hot friends). 

but you’re wound up, stressed, frustrated, and exhausted so all you can do is look from the boy to the mess and then back, stunned, "this is my apartment." 

he chuckles, wiping a drip of water off of his chest. you have to fight to look away, feeling burning from irritation and also something else as your chest heaves. you're just so tired, and this boy who you don't know very well has trashed your place and maybe even had a party and you just want to smoke and go to bed and- 

"say, what are you doing back so soon, toots? thought i had the place to myself for the next five days." he says too casually, grinning like he's catching up with an old friend. his hand runs through his wet hair, droplets rolling down his bare skin and causing you to fight the urge to keep your eyes on his face.

you shake your head. "richie, why does my kitchen look like a scene from dexter?" you say, trying to keep yourself calm. 

he tilts his head in an irksome, handsome way that makes you want to scream, "pretty sure dexter was....murdering murderers, not slamming smirnoff at three am."  "clean it up! what gives you the nerve to have a party in someone else's fucking apartment? while they're gone?!" you yell, throwing your hands in the air. richie shrugs uncomfortably and you're briefly in shock at how much faith richie is putting in the small tuck he's made with the towel, barely keeping up on in his waist. he laughs somewhat nervously, "sheesh, doll, it would've been cleaned by sunday, you just surprised me and almost gave me a heart attack while i was in the shower. bill told me we could throw at your place as long as we were responsible." he sounds pretty genuine, but you're just so tightly wound and frustrated.

"well this," you gesture to your place, "is not responsible." you glare, "i'm going to shower. i've had a long fucking day, and when i get out the place better be fucking spotless and you better be gone. i'm not asking." you snap. 

he grins as you push past him, turning to watch you storm towards the bathroom with an apologetic grimace on his face. 

- 

you took as long as you could in the shower, savoring every warm drop until you stepped out of your bathroom, expecting to see an empty apartment. 

"what are you staring at?" the boy with the curls mutters as he fixes the wine glass he'd placed on the counter. you're pretty speechless as you look around, wondering how richie had managed to get your place more clean and inviting than how you'd left it. dishes are all clean, put away, the counters spotless; the oven is set with a timer for two hours, and the smell of lasagna invites your nose with a rumble of your stomach. two glasses of wine are poured, sitting at the counter as richie chews on his lip anxiously, hair glinting in the dark mood lighting from the lamp near the window. 

"i felt bad. you seem like you had a long day and i didn't mean to make it worse." he admits. 

you step forward, suddenly feeling hot as you watch him, his jaw clenched slightly and sharper than you remember it. he's actually really fucking beautiful, you realize. 

"you didn't have to do all this." you say, biting your lip as you take the wine glass from his hand. 

"i know." he says with a cocky smirk. your face feels hot as you watch him slide out the stools by your breakfast bar, sitting down and sipping on his own wine. 

with a smile, you sit next to him. he was always the friend of bills that made you the most flustered - he's a tall, loud, garish bartender who spends most his time doing stand up at the clubs on the weekends even though he studied applied mathematics in school. he's the kind of boy that everybody has a crush on, because he's got that dorky yet beautiful sculpt; dark, curly locks, pale skin with a splattering of bright freckles. his eyes pierce yours whenever you're in the same room and his grin makes your stomach flip on it's head. 

"so, why'd you come back early?" richie asks as he takes a sip, eyes staring at you brightly from behind the rim of the glass. you huff a small bitter laugh, "my boss told me i had to come back because we're understaffed. told me the extra hours are 'building charater' or something. but i was having a shitty trip anyways, so i may as well just volunteer my time." 

he laughs, muttering, "good girl. doin' the lords work." you almost laugh but his words have heat sent straight between your legs and you can't tind words, suddenly in a state of shock. oh, god, this wine is getting to you.

richie's always been so hot, you're not surprised that one casual phrase had you so frantic like this. you blink, richie muttering, "y/n?" gently. 

you shake your head, snapping to look at him, "y-yeah? sorry, i just- what did you say?" you're embarrassed. you're embarrassed because richie didn't even mean it like that and you didn't expect to like being called that by him and you're embarrassed because he knows now, god look at his smirk, you're done for. 

"i asked why your trip was shit." he says simply, smirk on his face causing your face to heat up even more. you sigh, eyeing him, "i tried to enjoy myself and then i have the worst hookup experience of my life. then i came back to a messy apartment." you admit, shaking your head as richie pours you both another glass of wine, "the worst? that's a shame. what'd he do, throw up on you?" 

you laugh, "no, nothing like that. he was a minute man, and he refused to..." you shake your head, wondering why you're admitting this to a guy you barely know. you've never hung out one-on-one before with him.  "-he made me do all the work. and then he fell asleep. the worst part is, i've liked him since high school." you admit, dropping your face into your hands as richie lets out a chuckle. 

richie's shaking his head, "see, those types are the ones who just shouldn't be allowed in the gene pool. lazy. missin' out on all the fun, especially with a gal like you." he says with a wink. you laugh, face feeling hot. "i'm no fun." you say bashfully. 

richie raises his brows with a grin, his smile making you melt, heat pooling in between your legs from the way he runs his fingers across the rim of his glass. "i highly doubt that, doll." 

his eyes dip down in a not-so-subtle way as he takes in your body, biting his lip and making you clear your throat with a heated face. "sorry you had to put up with a guy who couldn't fuck you the right way. and that your boss also fucked you. and that i ruined your night." 

you shake your head, "i just had so much pent up stress from the last few days." he's eyeing you, and you wonder if he wants to fuck you as bad as you want to be fucked right now. would bill kill you? yeah, he would, but richie is so damn fine and you were left so high and dry last night that you’re just about ready to jump onto his lap. 

as if reading your mind, richie hums, "bill's still in maine, yeah?" he asks casually, eyes fluttering to the timer on the oven that ready an hour. 

you nod, "yeah, he's actually hanging out with the guy i hooked up with tonight." you say with a light huff. richie groans a laugh, "no fuckin' way. i promise, not all of bill's friends are bad at sex." richie says with a grin, and you laugh. "you sure about that?" 

he hums, eyeing you but not responding. 

“guess i’ll just have to find out.” you say boldly, butterflies fluttering in your chest when richie shoots you a deep look, slicking his lips through a smile. he hums, "so i don't get it, what was so bad about it?" 

you sigh, "he wouldn't go down on me. said he was 'too tired' and ‘too much work’ then he wanted to lay down so i rode him for, like, five minutes and then he fell asleep." 

richie's laughing, and you swat his arm as your face burns, "it's not funny! it's humiliating, richie." 

he snorts, standing up to place your empty glasses in the sink, recycling the empty bottle. "sorry, doll. that's just shit. he should've at least had the decency to make you cum." 

you almost choke on your spit at his bluntness, face blossoming and thighs tingling. "y-yeah." 

"anyways, i can get going, if you'd like. guess i’m done being the house sitter. the lasagna will be done in an hour or so." he says with a nod, eyes staring at yours fiercely. you hum, standing up as richie walks closer. "or you could stay." you say, looking up at him from where he stands in front of you. 

"you lonely or somethin', doll?" he rumbles lowly, lifting a brow. biting your lip, you swallow, "something like that." you say, lifting a challenging brow. 

“so if it was stan here, or mike...” he starts, walking towards you until he’s close enough that you’re afraid he can hear your heart thump, “you’d want them to stay?” 

you swallow dryly, “if bill lived with someone else, would you want to stay?” his smirk makes you clench your thighs. his long fingers raise and curl around your jaw, tilting your head back before tucking hair behind your ear. you swallow roughly, his hands are so big. his rings that he wears are thick and ice cold and feel so good against your warm face. 

your heart pounds as he smirks, eyes challenging you. the waiting is killing you.

"you've got a pretty mouth." he whispers, sending shocks all around your body. "y-you've got a pretty everything." you stutter out, feeling extremely flustered and suddenly shy. "thanks, honey." he says with a laugh, making you feel even more bashful.  

"y'know..." he drawls, hand settled on your neck, caressing your jaw, "i've wanted you since i first saw you." 

you can't help the whimper as it falls from your lips. it's a small, shy noise of need and it makes richie beam a beautiful, sexy grin that has your knees weak. "please..." you whimper, eyes staring at his, the suspense making you anxious with need. 

"please what?" he asks quietly, clearly loving the tense air. you almost roll your eyes, "kiss me." you say, rushed. 

he pulls away slightly, giving you a stern look. “please.” he says, smirk creeping onto his face. you burn in slight humiliation because he knows what he’s doing. 

“please kiss me, richie.” you finally say, swallowing.

"good girl." he says with a smirk and you feel like you're burning up under his gaze. but then he’s leaning in and his lips are on yours and wow, richie is a good kisser. he’s pulling you towards him tightly, hungrily; his teeth bite gently at your lower lip as his tongue swipes your own, pulling you into him. he was needy in the way he kissed you, a dominance in him that you're not surprised to find. you craved it, you craved him; and then he's pushing you back, up onto the stool as he moves between your legs. 

his mouth is then marking your neck, claiming you, and you love it, the feeling of his teeth against your warm skin, the sweetness of his smile against you.

his hands brush up your thighs and past the hem of your shorts, legs spread so he’s pressed flush against you, his bulge so close to where you want him. "richie," you let out a mangled whimper, hair knotting in his soft curls. he laughs, lips finding your ear, "always wondered how you'd sound when i had you like this," he says quietly, "can't wait to hear what pretty noises you make when i'm inside you." 

his fingers find the damp seat of your panties, dancing across it and making your legs shake with anticipation and neediness. you’re already a soaked, mewling mess as you grasp for him, hungry and needy and you want him closer, closer. 

he pulls you off the stool, then, and you both stare at each other for a moment. he almost dies at the state of you; already fucked-out, hair mussed up and still wet, your eyes lidded and your lips kiss-swollen. 

you can’t believe your eyes, richie’s curly hair fluffy from being freshly washed, the taste of wine on his lips, the freckles, the collarbone peeking from his collar, the smirk that could melt black ice. he looks like he could tear you apart. you hope he will. 

“you’re hot.” you blurt. 

he rushes at you again, melding your lips together with a searing hot kiss as he shoves you backwards towards the bedrooms. 

"bill told me to stay away from you," richie says as he walks you down the hall, your feet nearly stumbling and shaky as you walk backwards, lips seeking his every moment, "he said i'd ruin you." he adds. 

you lift a brow, too flustered to say anything as you stare up at richie, inhaling sharply as his hand trails down to cup your ass lightly, still walking backwards. "he knows how pretty i think you are. how hot, how... perfect." he whispers into the skin of your neck, raising goosebumps. "but i want to fuck you so well you forget your name. i don't care about what bill wants." 

you look at him, desperate and needy. "i don't give a fuck what bill says. i want you, please." you say, pawing richie and kissing him needily. richie’s leaving dark love bites on the column of your neck and you know it's wrong, and you shouldn't, but you let him kick open the door into bill's room, guiding you to bill’s bed instead of yours. “please, wan’ you so bad,” you pant, the needy throbbing getting unbearable, desperate for some release. 

“how bad, pretty girl?” he asks, smoothing down your hair. biting your lip, you sit on the bed, eyes level with the zipper of his pants. the sight of you staring up at him from below his hard, clothed cock makes his pants feel even tighter and he hums, "you sure?" 

you nod enthusiastically, "wanna make you feel good, please." he lets out a soft noise as your hands go to pull down his fly, “filthy girl." he says lowly, making heat drip from your core. you shift, trying to relieve some pressure. you feel hot when you realize you want him to degrade you, that you love it. “god, say that again.” you moan, mouthing around his bulge. his hands come to caress your face, watching you, 

"you like being my little whore, huh? so good just for me. bet you’ve thought of my cock in your mouth before, haven’t you?" 

you nod, biting your lip. he grins and you’re moving to pull him out of his pants, trying to conceal your shocked face as you take in his size. your cheeks heat up, hand grazing his length and meeting his own hand as he pumps himself a few times, lining his tip up to your lips. 

“open.” he says simply and you comply willingly, laying your tongue out. he’s teasing his cock on your tongue and you’re whining, desperate to feel him in your mouth, to make him feel good. 

“just wait until i say so, baby.” he says, slapping your tongue lightly with his cock and making you shift on your legs, dripping wet.

he groans, one hand coming to hold your head softly, making you tingle. you watch as he stares at you, lips parted and eyes blown wide. his cock is glistening with precum as it lays on your tongue. “suck my cock pretty girl.” he mutters, caressing your cheek. so you close your lips, slowly sucking on his tip before taking a bit more, moving your head slowly. 

you lick a stripe up the base of his cock and up to his tip, swirling your tongue. he groans in relief and pleasure as you take as much of him into your mouth as possible slowly, bobbing your head and taking as much in as you can. he’s bigger than anyone you’ve been with before, and the need to feel him inside you and to make him fall apart has you taking him as deep as you can.

you take him deeper, your eyes clouding with tears as you try not to gag and he hums, hands pulling your hair from your eyes - you can tell he’s straining not to buck his hips as you bob up and down on him.

“god, you feel so good, y/n.” he groans. you pull back, sucking on his tip as you swirl your tongue, catching your breath. his hands fall to your head and he gently, slowly thrusts his hips slightly. you gag, mouth wet as he pulls out of your mouth and wipes the trails of spit from your lips. “do it again, please.” you gasp, and he grins. “such a  slut.” 

he guides your face back to him, “tap me three times if it’s too much.” you take him in again, holding as long as you can and loving the way he’s thrusting into your mouth. he groans, both hands on your head, his chest rising and falling shakily.

"god, that’s so perfect. my good little toy.” he rumbles and your chest flutters. you feel him twitch and you sense he may be close, so you start to bob your head again.

he stops you, "no, pretty girl. i'm going to cum inside of you, okay?" you swallow, mouth dry, "okay." please. 

he sinks to his knees, gently pushing you so you're laying down on the bed again, pulling your legs so they hang off the side of the mattress. he's pulling your shorts off, your underwear following as he spreads your legs wider, kissing your thighs. “look at that pretty pussy. soaked, all for me.”

you're breathing shakily as one finger rises to gently rub your slit, making you moan softly. his touch is feathery-light, teasing you and making you whine, moving your hips. "shhh." he says softly, bringing his tongue to lick up your slit. you moan out, relieved to have some sort of satisfaction. richie's hand moves up to push up your top, thumbing your nipples as he starts to suck your clit. he pins your hips down, "be a good slut and stay still for me." he says, burying his face as your toes start to curl in pleasure, the burning sensation of pleasure increasing. 

he rubs circles into your hips with one hand as he slides two fingers into your heat, making you whimper, his fingers start to pick up pace as he continues to circle your clit with his tongue. his long fingers curl up inside of you, still pushing into you fast and rough, hitting your g-spot. you moan, “richie, harder, please.”

he hums, lifting his head as you gasp for breath, "since you asked so nicely, doin' everything i say." his fingers are moving again, faster than before. his tongue runs over your clit, practically moaning into your heat, fingers moving faster. you moan unabashedly, feeling yourself clench and knowing you're about to cum. your legs wrap around his shoulders as your hips move slightly, 

“cum on my tongue like a good little slut, okay baby?” he says gently. you moan, eyes shutting as you see stars. you're hitting your high and then richie's watching you, praising you as you fall apart, letting out soft whimpers. 

then you're sitting up as he rises from his knees, licking his lips. pulling him into a searing kiss, he crawls on top of you, rutting into you a few times before pulling back. 

he's pulling himself out of his pants and you swallow around your words, resisting the shocked face that threatens to creep on to you when you see how big he is. you moan as you watch him pump himself, pulling off his shirt as you pull off your own. 

he grins as he looks at you, "so good for me, my little slut. you want me to fuck you now?" he asks and you eagerly pull yourself up to your elbows, "yes, please, rich, fuck me." 

he hums, pushing his cock against your slit, the tip rubbing your sensitive clit and making you moan sharply. he continues to tease you, one hand on his cock and the other holding your waist. "use me, please." you whisper in his ear, hand holding him to you from the back of his neck. 

he lets out a sharp breath, hand snaking to your neck and pushing you back onto the mattress. "you want me to use you?" he asks, thrusting against you slowly, teasing your slit. "like my little plaything?" 

"yes, god, richie, please-" but then he's sliding into you all at once, his large cock stretching you as he moves his hips, sheathing into you. you feel so full that all you can do is gasp, richie kissing your forehead as his hand rests on your throat. "gonna fuck you on bill's bed, okay? and you're gonna be good for me, right? my good little cockslut." 

you nod yes, "so good for you." you say, and he smiles. he starts to pull out, easing back in and starting a shallow rhythm, getting you used to his size. you're euphoric as he starts to languidly pump into you, one hand on your neck and the other on your chest, palming your tit. 

he starts thrusting into you, picking up speed - rough and fast. his hips buck up against you, pulling back fully before filling you up. his thumb gently grazes your sensitive clit and you grip his bare back, raking your nails down in pleasure. "do you walk around thinking of how it'd feel to get fucked by me, baby?" he whispers in your ear as he pounds you into the mattress. you moan, "yes, r-rich, i've wanted you for s-so long," you trail off into a moan. "feels so good." you mutter, panting, words babbling from your mouth incoherently. 

you barely have a warning before you cum a second time, clenching so hard that richie's hips sstutter, his moan ringing with your own. he looks down at you, thumb trailing into your open mouth, you eagerly sucking on it like a lollipop. "god, you're so tight, doll. such a good little whore for me. i bet you'd let me do anything to you, anywhere." 

your legs are shaking as he keeps thrusting you through your orgasm, feeling sensitive and euphoric. he smirks, "yeah? bet you'd let me fuck you anywhere, just my little fuck toy. so perfect for me." 

you nod, kissing him needily, tears from oversensitivity pricking your eyes. "want you filling me up richie, feels so good." 

"anywhere?" he asks, eyebrows knit in pleasure as he fucks into you. he's so possesive, it makes your face warm. you nod, "anywhere." 

he's smirking, and you know he's thinking about how shocked bill would be if he found out. it makes it that much hotter as you turn and see the picture of bill and richie on the wall near the door. 

then richie pulls out of you and you're being flipped onto your knees, richie's large hand pushing your face towards the soft sheets. you can't help the moans that escape you as he spits onto your dripping cunt, fingers playing with your used pussy as you moan, sensitive and still desperate. "pretty baby, all fucked out. can you take one more?" he asks, hands roaming your ass. you nod, yelping gently when a hand smacks down on your ass. 

"can you take one more?" he asks. "yes!" you moan into the mattress with need. he mutters, "good girl." as he pushes into you, the new angle making you moan loudly. with every thrust, he pushes you down on the mattress, making you grip against the edge of it with pleasure. one of his hands drops down to rub your clit, and you buck needily against his touch. after only a few minutes, the combination of the snap of his hips, the few slaps on your ass, and his hands on your clit push you over the edge, clenching around his cock as you whimper. your legs barely stay up after you cum, and his arm wraps around you to hold you as he pounds into you, chasing his own high. 

"yes, my pretty girl, so good." he praises again, hips speeding up. you think he's close because his breathing is faster, hands gripping your hips hard as he kisses down your spine, "take it." he whispers onto your back as he finally cums, pulling out and finishing on your ass and lower back, moaning lightly. 

you can't believe what just happened as richie disappears, returning at the speed of light with a damp washcloth to clean you off. you blush at how sweet the gesture is before he falls next to you on the bed, sighing. "i'll be honest, i didn't expect that." 

you laugh, "neither did i. i thought i was coming home to an empty apartment and some microwave ramen." 

he's staring at you, a smirk on his face, “i'd apologize again but holy fuck, you look so pretty when you cum.” you don't know what to say, feeling hot as you roll your eyes with a grin. he laughs and kisses you, “you’re cute, you know.” 

"says you." you mutter against his lips. you thank god bill won't be back soon as you watch his best friend rise, naked, from beside you and grab a spare hoodie and gym shorts from bill's closet, throwing them on before handing you his own shirt to wear.

"so, lasagna?" he asks, glasses askew slightly. you laugh as you stand on shaky legs, "it's the least you could do." you joke. 

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