#the unicorn goat is sending me.............

[lemonhemlock]

rules: go to pinterest and type in “[your name] core aesthetic”

tagged by @starstrucksnowing and @aegonette💖

this is such a neat idea so thank you for tagging me! let's see what pinterest has to say about my government name

and this is the version with my nickname

tagging @navree @branwendaughterofllyr @rabiosass @hellshee @elinor-bolton @aifsaath @ichooseviolence @esther-dot and anyone else who might be interested✨💫 🌟

[22-b]

welcome…

ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ⛆ ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ caution: this blog may contain flashing lights, moving/flashing gifs, bright colors, bugs, swearing, blood, and unsettling themes. be careful, and enjoy your stay.

matching pfps w @/woerm-town + @/purrfectnothing

This is my introduction, hello everyone!! i am a minor! DNI if you’re a primarily NSFW blog. i also request that you do not send me DMs or asks about donations, i am unable to help you, and it stresses me out.

I’m really scatterbrained, forgetful, low energy, and terrible at interacting with others, so if we’re moots or smth, I’m sorry I’m advance if it seems like I’m ignoring you!! That’s just me being a dumbass I love you and you’re always welcome here /gen

My name is Kepler , (<- sometimes i like other names) I go by a mix of he/it/ae/bug/nya + other neos. I’m transmasc, INTP-A, and my time zone is MST. 3-25

https://brainwreck.straw.page

https://toyhou.se/brainwreck

https://pronouns.cc/@brainwreck

Status: iugh we tired

I interact with a lottt of fandoms, so here’s a list of the ones that my idiot brain can remember atm: BSD, ENA, Lackadaisy, Murder Drones, TADC, Gravity Falls, TOH, Amphibia, Warriors, Webtoons (SBG, TIOS, Paperteeth, Cherry Crush + Marionetta are my favs rn), Furries, Legend of Zelda, ACNH, Possibly In Michigan, TMC, Kirby, The Last Unicorn, The Tea Dragon Society, etc

i LOVE music: the front bottoms, icp, marina, Madilyn Mei, mitski, AJDispirito, creep-p, cavetown, maneskin, Will wood, lemon demon, mother mother, tv girl, tally hall, Penelope Scott, Bo burnham, arctic monkeys, hatsune miku, rebzyyx, fish in a birdcage, the oh hellos, IAMX, IDKHBTFM, grandson, graham kartna, Toby fox, the oozes, the mountain goats, glass animals, I don’t like mirrors, etc

I love getting asks!! Anything you want to ask, silly asks, a simple hello, sharing about your day, whatever, it brings me a lot of joy. *Shaking you* IF YOU HAVE OCS. SHOW THEM TO ME I WILL DRAW THEM AND LOVE THEM AND KISS THEM GOODNIGHT /nf

oh! spam interacting is cool too!! basically you won’t upset me too easily, and if you do, I’ll let you know / block you if it's too serious :) My DMs are also always open

im nonhuman!!!! be nice

DNI: don’t really use one, you’ll be blocked if you make me uncomfortable.

also run @dogramagra-and-destruction . and @/you-worthless-cat (vent blog)

dividers by @cafekitsune

all my tags are below for navigation

[witchyfemking]

🌹🐉Queen/Mother Lilith master-post 🐍🦇

DISCLAIMER

There are many people saying that working with Queen Lilith is closed, id ask that you please go to the last link. A Jewish content creator goes into detail about why 1.) That's false and 2.) Why claiming this is actually antisemitic.

I understand that this deity may hold a negative context to different people/cultures(i.e. people of Jewish culture)/faiths etc. Please be respectful and mindful. Both the people and the divinity have the right to respect. Just because a divinity/entity has been the best thing in the world to you, doesn’t mean that’s the case for someone else(vice versa). Thank you for your consideration.

Mother Lilith is a divinity that I hold very dear. She has been a big help to me and has guided me in my journery of self love and reparenting myself.

Lore/mythology (briefly summarized)

Lilith originally was the first wife of Adam; made from the same primordial matter as her counterpart by the one who created her. She has left the garden in anger because she refused to lay under Adam; Lilith wanted to be seen as Adams equal but he refused. God sent angels to take Lilith back to Eden at Adam’s request. She was located near/in/at the Red Sea. Her children had been slain because of her refusal to return. ( I have heard conflicting info from different sources but I’ll recall what I think is to be more accurate at this point). Some of the fallen angels (a big figure being Lord Lucifer) had made themselves acquainted with her and they had gained each others’ trust. This is the point where Lilith had became a demon and was at least set on the path to becoming a highly ranked Infernal deity(if not at this point already). Lilith at some point after this whispered empowering thoughts into Eve during her dreams; leading her to eat the fruit.

Lilith also has an aspect tied to the Mesopotamian demon Lilitu.

Signs/Symbols of Queen Lilith(some i’ve personally experienced as well):

Snake imagery

Birds( robins, cardinals, blue jays, doves, owls or any corvid/black bird) I’d like to mention that she left me a robin who had passed, cause she knew I’d give it a proper burial.

Witnessing any of her other sacred animals (mentioned below) or frequently seeing imagery of them

Me and other devotees of hers have known her to send really animal that’s black as signs

rose imagery

sudden interest in her

sudden yearning desire to explore oneself/identity

speaking up/ standing up for yourself in circumstances in which you normally wouldn’t

for uterus owners; in my personal experience she had gotten terribly frustrated that i wasn’t noticing her so she started affecting my ‘moon cycle’. I experienced irregularities, increased pain and moodiness. I also got much more fatigued during my time of the month in the time she was trying to get my attention. She may or may not feel the need to do something of this fashion to get your attention; My only assumption that she did so in my case is because I was extremely oblivious. However I highly implore you discuss things with your doctor before concluding that this is the cause.

You may notice the wind howling louder

Vampiric/Succubus imagery/energy

Draconic and/or primordial energy

Energy of water or the ocean

Feeling of not necessarily one certain element (maybe all of them together)

feelings of a motherly energy

dreams/visions of red or dark haired woman( i’ve honestly had her appear to me as blonde). She may be a witch, possibly a queen. She could be protecting you during the experience ( if you’re on her good side ofc)

Sacred animals of Queen Lilith

Snakes

Dragons

Hyenas

Cats of various kinds ( domestic, wild, especially with black or dark coats)

Ostriches

Spiders

Unicorns

Owls

Goats

Bats

What does Queen Lilith specialize in? What can she help you with?

taking back your power

shadow work ( specifically the feminine side of the side)

tapping into/ welcoming your dark feminine energy

welcoming dark femme energy into your life

dark femme workings

defends women/femmes and children who’ve suffered abuse(especially s3xually)

Improving sexual relationships

asserting independence

support in women/womxn’s/femmes rights

fighting oppression/sexisim placed on women/fem identifying people by the patriarchy(or in general)

assistance in gaining respect and/or recognition for contributions

exploring/awakening sexuality (especially if you need assistance with you libido)

sex magic ( more specifically feminine dominance)

Assistance with menstrual magic/spells/rituals

Help in any women/female health issues ( menstrual issues, moods swings, feritility, MtF/FtM etc.)

( i recommend you be treated by a medical professional along with the last point; mundane before magical; magic/spirituality shouldn’t be used in place of medical treatment, simply as support.)

Correspondences/ Offerings

Herbs/Plants/Scents:

Belladonna (POISONOUS)

Nightshade (POISONOUS)

Mugwort ( still use with caution)

Sandalwood(Red + White)

Patchouli

Rose

Jasmine

Lotus

Dragon’s Blood

Cinnamon

Olibanum

Camphor

Myrrh

Jasmine

Frankincense

Amber

Saffron

Crystals:

Onyx

Fire opal

Diamond

Ruby

Obsidian

Topaz

Red Jasper

Red Carnelian

Black Moonstone

Black tourmaline

Jet

Garnet

Clear quartz

Food/Drink:

Chocolate ( Especially anything Dark and/or spicy )

Lime

Pumpkins/ Gourds(idk if gourds are edible tho, but to a deity it doesn’t matter lmao)

Red velvet sweets

Chocolate cake

In my personal experience, she loved these Sriracha Peanut Butter Chocolate Cupcakes I used to be able to get.

Spicy foods

Apples

Pomegranates/Pomegranate juice

Colors:

Black

Reds (Especially blood red or velvet tone)

Purple

Orange

Gold

Magenta

Dark pink

Silver

Dark Grey

Time/Days:

Wednesday

Friday

Witching hour (either Midnight or anytime 3-4 am)

Dark/New Moon phase

Beltane Sabbat/May Day ( sexual theme of the holiday)

Oct. 24 ( some sources claim this is the day Lilith left Eden)

Feb 29 (on leap year. Woman are known to break traditional norms during this time)

Miscellaneous:

Empress (Tarot)

High Priestess (Tarot)

Moon ( Tarot)

Strength (Tarot)

Any Queen Card ( More Specifically to my UPG, Swords and Wands suits)

Air and Fire are her main elements. However, she does not limit herself to one specific element, she has traits of all.

Vampiric/Succubus energy

Draconic/Primordial Energy

What is she like?

To me, Lilith is very much like a mother. Im sure you could probably guess by how I addressed her in the beginning of this post( which I call her Mother Lilith for personal reasons). She very much holds the energy of a firm mother who cares very much for her children. Lilith is very much stern when she feels the need, but knows when you need her to be gentle. Many times she has been a source of comfort and encouragement for me. If you show her the decency and respect she deserves, she will give it to you in return. If she sees you as her child (or holds you dear in anyway) she will go to distant lengths to protect you or to show your abusers not to mess with you again ( at times on her own accord). There are times where she made things difficult for people who wronged me on her own(probably a lot more I don’t know about). Mother Lilith is extremely supportive and will be there when needed, but she will not coddle you. She will not baby you. I see a lot of practitioners say “ she wont hold your hand” that’s true in a sense. Yes there are things you need to face alone, but a mother wont deny holding your hand if needed, she just wont do things for you. She will empower you to do things with independence. Lilith is definitely the kind of mentor to give you a rude wake up call when you’re not acting like yourself or doing things that wont benefit yourself or others. She is not afraid to be mean and wicked with you if need be.

Lilith’s energy generally feels airy and fiery. She carries herself regally and a sense of pride. Like i’ve mentioned, she doesn’t necessarily tie herself to one element, I’ve felt energy of all elements come from her, I assume this comes from her shapeshifting nature.

Sources and links

My own personal experience and UPG

Lilith Queen of the Night

Lilith and Witchcraft

Lilith: The Demonic Paradise Wiki

Lilith ( Occult world entry)

Tumblr users entry on Queen Lilith (i’ve honestly had a rocky history with the author of this post, I hadn’t realized who this was until after I recorded the information, but I still am going to give them credit where it’s due because it’s only right and their post gives solid information)

https://occult-world.com/lilith/

[imaginariumpress]

Finally uploading pictures of the books I made for the Fourth Annual Renegade Bindery Exchange! I'm really happy with how they turned out, and my giftee @robins-egg-bindery loved them!

The first is a compilation of the Teen Wolf fanfic series where thou art, that is home by @shanastoryteller. It's done in black goat leather from Siegel, and I used Cricut foil HTV on the cover. The title page was made in Canva because I have zero actual art skills.

The second was another fanfic series compilation, The Unicorn Frappuccino AU by @theplatinthehat, a Doctor Who/Good Omens crossover. The bookcloth is homemade using batik fabric from Joann, and the stickers and author name on the spine were once again done using Cricut, as was the wavy edge of the blue cloth. I forgot to take pictures of the inside before sending it off, but @quandtuniverse was kind enough to give me permission to use their artwork for the second fic:

This whole event was super fun, and I'm so glad I was able to be a part of it! I can't wait to do more events this year!

[artastic-friend]

Info Post!

Current account status: trying my best to post again!

Hi, my name is March, I'm a 21 yr old masc-presenting, non-binary artist and biology/ecology major. I like to draw.. mostly fandom stuff and OCs.. but also I love spiders and studying them! Many other animals too haha! Looking forward to potentially becoming an arachnologist in the future, or an entomologist or even herpetologist… idk- just someone who studies silly lil guys, yanno? Oh.. I'm also A massive simp for the Giant Robot DJ from FNAF SB...

My pronouns are they/them and it/its but I am also ok with he/him

Welcome! I post my art, and bug/spider photos here!

MUSIC MAN ART BOARD INFO POST + LINK (feel free to message me about it if you wanna join)

FNAF Art Board (Public, Free to join)

Here are some of my most-used tags:

My Art - any of my art or doodles!

DJ Music Man - self explanatory 💀 about 85% of what I post…

OC - any posts that focus on some original characters of mine ^^ (or others')

My Spider Pics - If you want to see pictures and videos of my irl spiders, or any that I find. You can see them here!

and here is my linktree including the link to my Etsy if you would like to find me on other platforms and/or support me!

My iNaturalist account is “marchh”

My ask box is always open! Feel free to send me an ask anytime, and/or a doodle request! No promises that I will draw the thing you ask though. And sometimes I might just take a while to respond!

@artastic-foe is my reblog/spam account! I like to reblog a lot of stuff but also don't want to spam my followers with it, so most of the stuff I reblog will be over there haha! Though recently I’ve been trying my best to reblog on my main more! Especially stuff from mutuals ^^

Here is my persona. This is how I draw myself. To clarify, I do see this character as an extension of myself, and they are very personal to me. Though I know ofc they are not literally me. I like to creature-ify them at times and sometimes will even make alturnate versions of them for fun.. but in the end I still see them as a representation of me. They share my name and are designed after me (but with added features) after all!✨

I'm honestly not too sure of what my sona is meant to be- but I see them as like... A satyr?? but if the goat aspect of said satyr was actually a deer mixed with a unicorn?? Hence the long tail and single "antler"..

Idk lol. Just.. I guess be careful with how you treat this character, because whatever you do with them I will interpret that as something you are doing to me 💀

Anyway!!! I'll also clarify that I don't mind people drawing this character! If you do, I will actually be eternally grateful! Just don't draw them doing anything weird or sexual💀

speaking of which..

Boundaries:

I am a sex-repulsed Asexual! So please do not comment or send me anything implying sex or sensual activities.. It makes me very uncomfortable. If it's low-key and just light joking then that's fine, just nothing explicit please. (For clarity, bodies are not sexual on their own. Nudity does not bother me. It is the sexual implications and behaviors and acts that bother me personally TvT)

Do not steal and re-upload any of my art! Even if they are just little doodles. If you would like to for any reason, DM me about the specifics, but If I do not respond, that is not permission to do so anyway!

Please do not refer to me with feminine terms. If it’s an honest mistake, you’re ok, but if you are doing it on purpose, I will either not acknowledge you, or if you continue to do so I will block you.

Just… don't be weird lol- Be kind and respectful of people!

[ask-de-writer]

WIND MEETS THE ROM : Part 3 of 27 :

MLP Fan Fiction

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WIND MEETS THE ROM

Part 3 of 27

by

De Writer (Glen Ten-Eyck)

Cover art by @wind-the-mama-cat

54212 words

© 2023 by Glen Ten-Eyck

Writing begun 06/01/18

All rights reserved. This document may not be copied or distributed on or to any medium or placed in any mass storage system except by the express written consent of the author.

//////////////

Copyright fair use rules for Tumblr users

Users of Tumblr.com are specifically granted the following rights. They may reblog the story provided that all author and copyright information remains intact. They may use the characters or original characters in my settings for fan fiction, fan art works, cosplay, or fan musical compositions.

All sorts of fan art, cosplay, music or fiction is actively encouraged.

///////////////////////

New to the story? Read from Part 1, here!

///////////////////////

Black Lotus snickered, “Good. That means that those pastries that I cooked up for you won't be wasted! Lucky for you, your mouth, stomach and guts are not restricted.

“For now, let me carry you. We don't want to put any stress on those nerves and the inflamed muscles. Yet.”

In spite of her reservations, Wind was impressed by the versatility of the unicorn magic that she could see in use. Not only was she being held without apparent effort, Black Lotus was loading up a pair of plates and drawing two mugs of what looked like tea.

As soon as she was done loading up, she trotted over to a shady spot under a broadly branched tree and set everything out, including Wind. She had even put a picnic cloth under it all.

Black Lotus busied herself, putting Wind's plate into easy reach and giving her a big mug of the tea.

Wind watched it all and felt the soft cocoon of magic slowly dissolve. She pointed out, “Mama Dragon didn't say anything about my wounds being too deep. They were mostly in the abdomen wall, though they did cut up those muscles pretty badly. Did she miss something?”

Black Lotus pointed with her horn to Wind's plate. “Eat up. You are right about the claw and fang wounds. A manticore's tail has a poison stinger that is pretty long. Lucky for you, it had a good hunt pretty recently, so it was out of venom. It hit you with the tail once. That puncture did go through into your gut but didn't do much damage at all. Mama Dragon fixed the small hole near perfectly. However, that is where the inflammation started. The nerves involved are pretty close to the surface and go around your abdomen to your spine. That is why they got cut by the claws.”

Wind chewed and swallowed her bite of meat pie before answering, “Um, Mama Dragon did send some medicines with me. Maybe you should look them over.”

Black Lotus had settled herself in the soft grass a and was nibbling around the edges of a largish iced pastry. She had a big mug of tea held in her magic. She took a leisurely sip and swallowed before answering, “That would be a good idea. We know good medicines for equines of all sorts and goats really well. We are pretty good at wolves and some other carnivores too. Not too experienced with cats and otters. I would bet that your Mama Dragon has a lot of experience in what works on you.”

Wind replied defensively, laying her ears back, “What would you know about that?”

Black Lotus tilted her head and batted her long eyelashes at Wind as she retorted, “Only that you have got to be as old as you are and will still attack a manticore without armor or a good heavy crossbow. Both would have been useful in that encounter. That speaks of really good medical care being available to take care of little boo-boos.”

Somewhat taken aback, Wind changed the topic while shifting her position to hide some of her other scars, “I think that I like the bunny pastie best, though the trout one would be great with some seasoning. How do you make gravy like these have?”

Black Lotus gave a mischievous glance and nickered, “Sheer skill, that and thickening with Ka'chek flour.”

More seriously she went on, “That last part, while true, is also a secret that we don't share. It is one of the things that make Rom cooking and baking in high demand at markets and fairs.”

Wind nodded thoughtfully. “I was indirectly told that you Rom were sort of isolated from pony society. Why not find a place to settle down and fit in?”

She could tell from the slightly shocked look on Black Lotus' face that she had accidentally hit a nerve.

“We couldn't do that! If we did, who would lay the stones on the lakes of our loved dead?” Far more softly, Black Lotus added, “Besides, if we settled somewhere, Dad might decide to leave us and go back to the Lake of Paradise. What would we do then? Who would watch over us? We would have to stop being Rom. We would just be, … ponies.”

Seeking a safer topic, Wind asked, “How come your horn is straight? I noticed that a lot of the others in the band have curved horns, like your mother.”

Black Lotus nodded, “You have sharp eyes. If any Rom has a horn, they are descended from Dad, our Ghost Who Guides. A straight horn like mine means that I am his direct filly. My foals will have a slight curve and theirs will have more. Our horns stop curving around four generations away from dad.”

Wind's forehead wrinkled in thought while she chewed another bite of excellent rabbit pastie. “You weren't kidding just now, were you? I mean about Marchhare being a ghost. I just realized that when we first met, he wasn't casting any shadow. Later, after you reminded him, he did have a shadow but he wasn't leaving any hoof prints. How can a ghost have . . . um, foals like you?”

Black Lotus grinned and asked in return, “What? Didn't your Mama Dragon teach you about that? Yes. Dad is a ghost, for real. Don't try to tell him that, though. He is as much here as he wants or needs to be.

“He still insists that he did not die on the desert of Celestia's Anvil while saving our ancestors, eight hundred years ago. He just took a nap. Caught up to the rest of the group after he was rested up.

“Some nap. Three days later, he caught up to our ancestors, the cast off slaves that he gave his life to save. He looked then, like he looks now. Instead of starved and dying of thirst like when he laid down in the shade of that rock ledge where his bones still are, he was plump and well fed. He guided us through the tricky mountain pass to Equestria and has guided us all ever since.”

Wind cocked her head skeptically. “Really? How do you know that he actually died on that desert?”

Black Lotus quietly wept a few tears while answering, “Because Hoof Dancer and I just came back across the mountains a few days back, up at Wayside 15. We pretended that we were gathering the rare yellow yew root bark that grows up in the pass. Actually, we went on across. We took him a fresh pot of water from the spring of Sha Ja Shehan and fresh browse from its banks. We left them by his bones and laid the stones for him.

“He did not just die and come back for us. He turned his back on the Lake of Paradise and all that goes with it to keep his promise to guide some cast off slaves. He is still keeping that promise.”

Wind nodded slowly while chewing another bite of the rabbit meat pie. “I can see how doing something like that might lead you to believe that he died there, all right. Especially since you have a dad that you have to remind about little things like casting a shadow or leaving hoof prints.”

It was obvious that Black Lotus caught Wind's sarcasm as well as actual observations of her dad's . . . umm, unique ways.

Several of the band's foals came over and spoke to Black Lotus in that almost musical language of theirs. She nodded to them and returned a short sentence. They curtsied to her and trotted off.

Wind saw them talking to old Marchhare. Soon the foals and the pegassi were deep into lessons of some sort.

Wind's eyebrows rose as the foals opened their books, flipping them up. They appeared to be bound across the top, rather than the side. The lesson was being given by the red roan mare that Wind had seen earlier. Watching the younger foals read, keeping their place by shifting little hooves let Wind realize that the writing went from the right margin to the left.

She turned to see Black Lotus regarding her intently. When she had eye contact she smiled and observed, “We write differently than ponies, too. I see that you noticed it. Rose is a really good teacher for reading and writing.

She has a wonderful heart. The Skydancers are so lucky that she was there to take them in after their parents were murdered. She adopted them and is raising them as her own. She has them almost ready to do their first public performance since it happened. Mom, that's Hoof Dancer, and I have been helping them too.”

Wind nodded thoughtfully as she replied, “I saw that when they did their dance today. I couldn't see any problem in the dance. I wondered where their parents were. So the red roan mare is Rose? Doesn't she find it difficult to raise foals that can fly?”

Black Lotus smiled softly, shaking her head in negation, “Not in the least. They are the finest family that Rose could ask for.”

Terminating a potentially unpleasant conversation, she asked, “May I examine the medication that your Mama Dragon sent with you?”

Wind shrugged off the fairly small and ordinary looking bag with its shoulder strap. Setting it on the ground, she opened the tie and reached her arm down into it, apparently far below ground level, as she fished out the packages with her medications.

Looking up, she saw that Black Lotus did not even appear to be surprised. Slightly crestfallen that her little showing off had not impressed her host, Wind explained, “It is a bag of holding. It can hold almost anything.”

A small smile quirking her lips, Black Lotus said, “I am familiar with the concept. Dad's caravan is sort of like that. You will be sleeping in there the first few nights, so that we can keep this inflammation under observation. Don't go back into the corridors or use the stairs without a guide. You can get lost.”

Black Lotus failed to notice Wind's indignant glare at the idea of getting lost in the little seeming four wheeled caravan. She was examining the medications. She gathered three of the four and shook her head happily.

“I know these. They are good! I will ask Dad about the pot of ointment. I don't know what it is. Likely it is something that only grows on your world. Dad will know, or failing him, De Writer will for sure!”

Getting up, she offered Wind assistance in standing. “It is important to get some limited exercise. Walk slowly. I know that you are chafing at the bit to be more active but really, don't do it yet.”

Together, they walked slowly down to the four wheeled caravan. Marchhare greeted them, “What are those packets and the pot? Are they Mama Dragon's medicines?”

Black Lotus agreed, “They are. I know the ones in the packets and they are good. I have never run across this ointment, though. I thought that you might know it.”

Marchhare opened the pot carefully, explaining with a grin, “With Mama Dragon's sense of humor, you never know. Might be a spring snake in here.”

<== PREVIOUS ~ NEXT==>

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[yume-tsuki]

Amber When young Galahad encountered with that strange talking light, what calls herself the white fairy she told him the right way to the place where his friends got prisoned. Luckily Meredith found him before he got into trouble. Together now they stood infront of an strange looking door. >699 …damn I don’t know that word probably the name of the place ?I guess…what old language is this anyway?...< >I wonder if grandma could read this?< >You believe she is old enough? I  think Lady Elisabeth would know that language better than her isn’t it Gal?< >Tha-ha-t’s Stormhold, an old place people used to feel safe back in days of wa-har.< Both looked around till they saw a sheepish like animal. >The name is Amber; a Unicorn.<  >What do you say; a Unicorn? You are not even more than a lil lamb.< > Just because you can’t see my ma-ha-gnificent being; does not meen I'a-am not.< >What’s with that nasty accent?... you even sound like a sheep or a goat if I say so. Your horn looks quite akward. Don’t you think too Gal…Gal?< >Are you real unicorn?< >Quiet excited  about me handsome boy.< >Stop talking to him like you knew him.< >Oho,I do! And you too.< Both looked puzzled at the sazzy smirking creature. >Now I remember! The voice, like the white fairie one.< >Right handsome. That’s one of my magic tricks," message from an angel". I can send a message far away across space to others.< >but why? Why havn’t you just showed me yourself in person< >mahaha I was busy watching your friends who got kidnapped. You were to injured back than, I had to hope my healing magic patchs you up. so at least you could walk and find help on your own. Luckily your own powers awoke too.< >So the Unicorn  I dreamed of was real and it was you.< >That’s right but now we probably should think about a plan to sneak in.< >Before that, could you send Sir Lancelot a message where we are. The holy knights are way to clueless without your help.< >Well,…not a pleasure but I’ll do it for you. We probably will win with them more than without them… Well that doesn’t ma-ha-tter now isn’t it. First a message than let's sneak in right!?< >right!!< came it from both Well Lancelot and the rest of his friends had followed Meredith's horse's footprints till rain let them loos them again. Luckily the white fairy apeared infront of him. Telling him about the place were they got to go. Finaly with the goal ahead the only fear what was left behind was that they wouldn't be to late to safe them! ________________________ Colored the one sketch with Gal and the white fairiy x) the fur is from the same kind of creature what Meliodas and Ban killed in hell. All the cloths are from the kind demon pair he meat The place the kids stand infront is again based on>> REdwall-Mattimeo<<

[svanhilde-superangelic]

Me and Bozechna are kind of mixed together right now, and she was listening to Jesus Christ Pose (presumably to taunt me) and I discovered that either I or both of us are a unicorn. We are pure, almost glowing white, more like the way they depicted us in the medieval age, closer to a cross between a deer and a goat, however we have no beard. We have four long yet blunt pointed teeth, four that just stick out of the sides of our mouth. Our horn is sizeable, firm and straight, a glowing white. I use it to anoint and to bless water, and touch it to demons while it's rumbling with holy magic to send demons back to Hell or destroy them.

I have a spot on my chest where my heart sits, appearing to bleed.

I am self-healing, as my throat is always cut on an altar, if I am able to be caught by a virgin. She takes me to the priest, tied up and with a halo, where I am slit in the dark, choking and bleeding out. I am then self-regenerated and sent to do the same thing.

I have feathers around my neck, fluffing up when indignant or receiving from God.

[truthandlove]

Condemnation Vs Faith & Love

Mark 16:16 Jesus said: “He who has believed [in Me] and has been baptized will be saved [from the penalty of God’s wrath and judgment]; but he who has not believed will be condemned.”

Contrary to the wishful thinking of the self-deluded masses, condemnation is very much a part of real love. Remember God “did not send Jesus to condemn the world” BECAUSE THE WORLD WAS ALREADY FULLY CONDEMNED. There was not need to re-condemn the already sin-condemned world.

John 3:16–18 “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that everyone who believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him. Whoever believes in Him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe has ALREADY BEEN CONDEMNED, because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.”

Father God sent Jesus to show us the heart and nature of HIMSELF. He sent Jesus to bring the sword of truth. Real truth is CONFRONTATIONAL; real truth brings WAR and DIVISION, not rainbows and unicorns, peace and love.

The tares will hate the truth and try to kill the truth. The wheat will love and respond to the truth. The Sheep will hear Jesus’ voice and respond in time to it. The Goats will not and will go to their already condemnation.

In the Bible, God calls His believers, not just saints but authorized and empowered AMBASSADORS. As such we speak the truth of God in the love of God to our neighbor — meaning to anyone and everyone we encounter.

The world needs “reconciliation” to God in Christ because it is LOST, it is DEAD, and it is ESTRANGED from the heart and life and love and truth and goodness of God! It is estranged from and devoid of any actual goodness. It is a condemn world in which exist the damned, because they have not chosen to receive the forgiveness, the life, the grace and the salvation that Jesus Christ IS and already accomplished FOR them and AS them. We need to be righeous IN CHRIST, precisely because on our own we are unrighteous and condemned. Only someone who loves you will tell you this inconvenient truth.

2 Corinthians 5:19–21 “…that God was reconciling the world to Himself in Christ, not counting men’s trespasses against them. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ: Be reconciled to God. God made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.”

And also:

“For we are to God the sweet aroma of Christ, among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To the one [the perishing], we are an odor of DEATH and demise; to the other [the saved], a fragrance that brings LIFE. And who is qualified for such a task? For we are not like so many others, who peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity (authenticity), as men sent from God.” — 2 Corinthians 15–17

Be careful to not present HALF the Gospel. And be careful to not confuse love with mere niceness and pleasantness, like America (especially) wants to do.

What is real love?

Love is that which does the greatest good to the beloved. This is the key. What stimulates and blesses the most DEPENDS ON the condition of the heart of the beloved. Love thus expresses itself by uplifting and NURTURING the humble/contrite/broken who admit their need for God. Likewise, love CONFRONTS and DISRUPTS the hard heart in denial of their condemnation status, to bring them to the truth of their massive and dire need for WHO Jesus is and WHAT Jesus did to save them from their state of condemnation before a Holy and Just God.

Jesus IS the heart of the Father God and IS the love/grace of God. And the life of Jesus clearly shows this love in action — either CONDEMNING the hard heart, or RESTORING the brokenhearted. (1) The proud NEED to be shattered, disillusioned and disabused, stripped of all self-righteousness and delusion (denial, rationalization, etc.). (2) And the shattered NEED to be restored to communion with God (through faith in Jesus of course).

With the goal of blessing most the beloved, love employs more than one strategy for best stimulating the deepest benefit and growth. This is what real love does and what the Gospels show us over and over. Jesus responded to the deepest need of the person based on their heart status: that is true love. He discerned their core issue or need, and then demonstrated whichever love-strategy they needed most. Accept no substitutes for REAL love. Real love will do anything it possibly can to provoke, help and encourage the beloved into maximum beauty of being.

If you need this unpacked more, the book “Bold Love” is an excellent resource, as is the book “Beautiful Outlaw.”

Jesus always told the truth: no whitewashing, no wishful thinking. No justifications or rationalizations. Pure truth in pure love is what Jesus lived out 100% of the time.

He called some “sons of hell”, and to some “you are forgiven” DEPENDING on their heart status. In each case, this is LOVE speaking the TRUTH. We are called to live and serve others with this real love, just as Jesus did.

Matthew 12:37 “For by your words you will be acquitted, and by your words you will be condemned.” (because as the Bible says elsewhere, your words speak out what is in your HEART)

And also

Matthew 23:33 “You reptilians! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell?”

This is what love speaking truth looks like when confronting an evil HEART. The world system of wishful thinking, anti-truth, fake love and pride resists this core reality.

God is looking at your heart very clearly. Live with the loving fear of the lord in wisdom and obedience. Because LOVE, God’s love, looks like OBEDIENCE to Father God.

There is therefore now no CONDEMNATION to those that are IN CHRIST JESUS. For the law of the Spirit of God, the law of the LIFE of God (in Jesus’ blood) has SET YOU FREE from the Law of Sin and Death (Romans 8:1,2) that condemns all those who have not abandoned their stubborn and fierce self-will and surrendered fully to Jesus as Savior and Lord of all.

If you are not in Christ Jesus, your sins are still condemning you, disconnecting you and lying to you about yourself. LOVE will tell you the truth about that. Only in light of truth and reality you can make a WISE and INFORMED decision.

God has not sent Christians to go “condemn the world.” There is no need to condemn the world when it is already condemned. That is like making a nuclear bomb even more powerful, when all that does is make that which has already been reduced to rubble bounce even higher.

You cannot “condemn MORE” that which is already fully condemned. Your own sins already have and will condemn you. There is ONE AND ONLY ONE WAY out of this state of deadness, lostness and condemnation. That is the total work of Jesus of Nazareth.

Jesus lived in full union and harmony — love / trust / obedience — to Father God. You cannot please God. Your nice intentions are meaningless to make God either life or approve of you because your intentions are POWERLESS to be TRULY good. Your intentions are PRISONERS of the fallen flesh. (Romans calls it being a slave and instrument of unrighteousness) That which wants to do as it pleases without regard to God, God’s heart, God’s word, and God’s law. These are all ONE and the same (echad).

The world KNOWS they are under condemnation. They try to live in DENIAL of this core truth. They build elaborate justification, self-justification systems to AVOID this reality. But the very fact that their lives are built as entertainment centers to COMPENSATE for the condemnation of sin, shows you that the reality of condemnation for sin is in fact at the core of their being! THIS explains why the lost of this world REACT so severely to any even HINT of condemnation and their favorite selective verse “do not judge” is twisted out of context on a regular basis.

God IS your judge. The Judge of all. God has STANDARDS for relationship. No SPECK of unrighteousness can get into heaven. God is looking for HIMSELF in us. He created man in His own Image. And he wants to see his heart/nature/being/life REFLECTED in us — we are literally His image inside time and space. We are to mirror God. We are to be God’s hands and feet in this universe. God will judge all souls and beings based on if they are in union with Himself — His righteousness, love, justice, truth, etc..

There is only ONE way to not fall horrible short of God’s standards. That is to be “in Christ Jesus”. The life of Jesus is PRECISELY and EXACTLY what God’s standards for relationship look like, lived out!

The New Testament has MUCH to say about being “in Christ”. Go read, look up, and research what God through the New Testament is telling us about escaping condemnation through being “in Christ.”

[witchysolfan]

Okay okay ever since you reblogged the Young and Beautiful song I haven't been able to stop wondering... How often does Vanessa and Sun and Moon in Princess and Jesters AU think about the differing life expectancies they have? Often? Once in a blue moon(hah)? When someone almost dies? Do they try not to think about it? Do they think about it a LOT? Are any of them actively trying to find a loophole or is that too deus ex machina This plagues me. It plagues me.

Love the AU, send help.

They don’t think about it too much. They try not to.

They just want to enjoy this while they still can, make the memories to hold on tight to and never let go.

I have several ideas on how it all ends.

But I seeing as this is a self indulgence au, I can honestly say I’m going for a bit more sweet here than bittersweet.

Immortality is never going to be an option here though. Since I have my own ideas on immortality being a curse and honestly, there would be certain problems with a human becoming immortal (there are creatures in the dark who would view a immortal human and salivate over it.) (Thor’s two goats who die to be eaten and resurrected at the start of each new day)

But I can say automations don’t last forever as well.

They just live considerably longer than humans.

Maybe if they asked for a favor from a spider, they can bind their lives together and have many more days. (If they remember to be careful with their words so as to not end up with a cicada in the end.) (Eos learned the hard way when asking Zeus to make Tithonus immortal but forgot eternal youth.) (Selene learned from Eos’ mistake)

Of course, they must exchange something for it. Magic does not produce something out of nothing. That’s not how magic works. That is how magic is not deus ex machine.

“Real magic can never be made by offering someone else's liver. You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back.”~ The Last Unicorn by Peter S. Beagle

[dozy-draws]

Hi y’all today I have three designs for sale, blind bag style to experiment! They’re all based on the color pallet themes!

🥧 pie design: $15, chubby goat pony [SOLD]

🌰 acorn design: (no acorn emoji,, F..): $9, thin unicorn [SOLD]

🎃 pumpkin design: $20 OR $15 w/ one fullbody art: stocky earth pony (this one’s my favorite design)

When purchased I’ll send u the revealed design! (Prices in USD) DM me if interested!

[raibebe]

Neo CreaTures

Hello and welcome to my first ever collab call to celebrate me hitting a huge follower milestone! This is dedicated to everyone who loves the supernatural – like me – and enjoys writing a little more interesting creatures than just vampires and werewolves – which of course are still lovely. Under the cut you’ll find a list of awesome creatures to turn our favorite boys into – or even the reader if that’s the route you want to go. Our main theme is it to have some fun and post a variety of different spooky or not so spooky fics throughout October to spread our love for the supernatural. To claim a spot, simply dm me @raibebe your member and creature of choice and I’ll add you to this post as long as the spot is still up for claim.

Reblogs are appreciated even if you chose to not enter the collab to reach a wider audience!

rules

As always: First come, first serve

The fic has to be about the chosen member, meaning he is supposed to be the main character, you’re of course allowed to add in as many of the others as you want

You can bend the lore/appearance of your creature of choice how you may seem fit. Just don’t start telling me dwarfs turn into wolves every full moon.

Deadline is October 31st 2021

Minimum word count is 2k. This should be doable, it’s a lot of time until October. If you choose to write it in multiple parts, just send me the part you want to have linked on the masterlist.

No timestamps/drabbles, bullet points, social media AUs or reactions. Fics. That’s it.

Open to all genres, it doesn’t have to be horror or gory but I would love to read some darker pieces that are perfect for the season

If you want to include smut in your work, you have to be of age. No exceptions.

Even though all NCT members are of age, please refrain from writing smut for Jisung, Chenle and Sungchang, since otherwise Jisung will call the police on us.

Tag your work accordingly if you have potentially triggering stuff in it. When in doubt – you should probably tag it. But you can always ask which brings me to the next point:

Joining the discord is not mandatory but I’d encourage you to because it’s a great way to get to know your fellow writers and maybe ask for advice or just to chat about our boys.

That’s also where I’ll post announcements and stuff

Please tell me if you’re changing URLs or want to step out of the collab or can’t meet the deadline, which is both fine and can be negotiated

Please reblog this post after getting accepted so we can reach a wider audience.

For further questions just dm me!

Members

Taeil - @fan-but-no-art  | Angel

Johnny - 

Taeyong – @ncteaxhoe | Fairy

Yuta – @sly-merlin | Naga

Kun - @moonctzeny  | Succubus

Doyoung - @just-come-baek | Mermaid

Ten - @jaesqueso | Werecat

Jaehyun - @127-mile | Ghoul

Winwin - 

Jungwoo - @heejinnien | Elf

Lucas - @justonedaywithmysunshine  | Genie

Mark -  @alreadyblondenow  | Zombie

Xiaojun - @key201303 | Guardian Angel

Hendery - @soliverse | Witch

Renjun - @moondustaeil | Kitsune

Jeno - @sparklysung  | Incubus

Haechan – 

Jaemin - @raibebe | Demon

Yangyang - @yangyanghater | Yokai

Shotaro - @chittapornswife | Nale Ba/Nishi Dak

Sungchan - @sichengscult | Warlock

Chenle - @flowerboykun​ | Merman

Jisung - @armysantiny | Shapeshifter

List of creatures to choose from. 

Some creatures are fairly similar but I wanted to give you as many choices as I could come up with without having to choose absolutely crazy creatures. As said before you’re free to bend the lore of the creatures, this is just a guide – mostly off of Wikipedia – to some of the lesser known creatures. Warning: Some creatures are darker and more gore-y than others. The descriptions are as ungraphic as possible.

Vampire: A living corpse that feeds on the blood of the living to survive

Werewolf: A human with the ability to shapeshift into the form of a wolf

Werecat: A human with the ability to shapeshift into the form of a feline

Angel: A pure, benevolent intermediary between humans and god, protectors and guiders for humans, servants of god

Guardian angel: Godsend protector and guider for humans

Fallen angel: Angel that has become tainted by sin and fell from heaven

Devil: Ruler of the underworld, personification of evil and temptation

Demon: Supernatural creature usually associated with evil and sin

Incubus: Male demon that gains his energy from engaging in sexual activity

Succubus: Female demon that gains her energy from engaging in sexual activity

Yokai: Spirits and monsters in Japanese folklore, ranging from mischievous and malevolent creatures believed to cause misfortune and harm to some that are considered to bring good fortune

Ghost: Soul or spirit of a dead person that can appear to the living

Poltergeist: Type of ghost responsible for physical disturbance, often bound to the places the soul died in

Warlock: Male practitioner of witchcraft

Witch: Female practitioner of witchcraft

Necromancer: Practitioner of magic involving communication with the dead

Genie/Jinn: Neither innately evil or good spirit

Shapeshifter: A human possessing the ability to physically transform their body

Ghoul: Demon-like creature associated with graveyards and consuming human flesh

Zombie: Undead revenant

Siren: Creature half bird and half woman who lures sailors by the sweetness of her song

Mermaid/Merman: Aquatic creature with an upper body in human form and the tail of a fish

Nymph: Minor nature deity, generally regarded as personifications of nature, tied to a specific place or landform

Dryad: Tree nymph

Fairy: Magical creature with human appearance, magical powers and a penchant for trickery

Elf: Beings with magical powers and supernatural beauty, ambivalent to humans, capable of either helping or hindering them

Gnome: Diminutive spirit that typically lives underground

Dwarf: Entity hat dwells in mountains and in the earth, associated with wisdom, smithing, mining and crafting

Satyr: Bawdy male nature spirit with horse/goat like legs, ears and horns

Centaur: Creature with the upper body of a human and the lower body of a horse

Naga: Creature with the upper body of a human and the lower body of a snake

Harpy: Half human, half bird personification of storm winds

Dragon: Large, serpentine creature that breathes fire

Kitsune: In Yōkai folklore, all foxes have the ability to shapeshift into human form they have the ability to trick others but are also portrayed as faithful guardians, friends, lovers, and wives

Phoenix: Long-lived bird that cyclically regenerates or is otherwise born again, often through burning his body and being reborn from the ashes

Basilisk: Legendary reptile reputed to be a serpent king, who can cause death with a single glance

Unicorn: Beast with a single large, pointed, spiraling horn projecting from its forehead, often portrayed as horse-like

[littlebitshylittlebitangry]

So me and my discord group were once discussing what the other sides of ranboo could be, we came up with a few ideas

- Ghast (The first assumed option)

- A killer Rabbit (Wouldn’t really work out, No bunny ears)

- A mob that doesn’t exist within vanilla Minecraft (Yes a unicorn was talk about. No we refuse to bring it back up. Please we don’t need another discussion of tubbo pulling a wilbur and scarificing cat maid Hbomb for a fish to later birth his child. Just no.)

- skeleton (Me: But wouldn’t he burn in daylight? Friend: Fuck it he’s fire proof. Me: ...that’s a ghast. Friend: Shit, uhhhh he’s a living creature due to his Ender men side and thus due to not being undead is not burning in the daylight? Me: that works)[only me and F1

-A chicken (Me: why- F2/friend: we’re going off any white creatures, so a chicken counts. Me: he doesn’t even have wings- F3/friend: Chickboo)

-A polar bear (I mean it makes sense of how he’s able to take the cold of the area he techno and philza live in, long with snowchester)

-A skeleton horse ( F2: Nyah. F2: it’s it’s NAY. F2: alright. F1: it’s like the skeleton.)

-A sheep( in the words of F2 “he’s a furry, tubbo is canonly a goat, he’s a sheep there the same species”)

- A llama (floof boy)

-A Wolf ( F3: Becase he’s a good boy!)

-a panda (many questions)

- A cat (F1: but wouldn’t same not like him? F2: Catboo F1: Your right, I’m a fool. Three hours later a cult is being discussed about catboo)

-An iron Golem (F3: he protec, He attac, He make sure nobody knows bac. F1: that doesn’t make sense)

-a goat (F2 words after hearing a goat and a sheep weren’t the same thing. “My life is a lie, god is dead and goats and sheep aren’t the same thing)

- A wither (This all started because we were discussing how many withers it would take. To destroy foolishs summer home. And person said “just send ranboo in” “but he’s?? Not?? Wither??” “Fuck it he is now, Witherboo is the hill I will die on)

-Part of the in between (made by me, I love the tales from the SMP)

[therandomfandomgal-insta]

An (incomplete) list of my absolute favorite quotes from Rainbow Rowell’s Wayward Son.

“He looks like three kids in a trench coat pretending to be a complete wanker.”

“‘Surprise!’ Baz singsongs. ‘It’s your ex-boyfriend and his boyfriend and that girl you never liked very much!’”

“If you suggest brunch, they’ll be like, ‘Let’s change the world instead!’”

“It’s sitting in economy that’s making us gay.”

“If you can’t trust people with nose rings to be open-minded, who’s left?”

“‘Yeah. Do it, Snow. Live dangerously.’ Says the vampire teaching me how to drive.”

“I’ve never even heard of Nebraska.”

“‘For heaven’s snakes, Basil, I can’t believe you know what unicorns taste like.’”

“Illinois, land of the damned—a place that manages to be both hot and humid at the same time. You might well expect hell to be hot, but you don’t expect it to also be humid. That’s what makes it hell, the surprise twist! The devil is clever!”

“‘It isn’t a crime spree!’ Penny retorts. ‘We’re not robbing banks and murdering people.’ ‘Yet!’ I say.”

“Are we eating, I wonder. Or is this too tragic for eating?”

“‘Imagine the humiliation of dying at The Cheesecake Factory.’”

“Iowa is beautiful. It’s all gentle green hills and fields of maize. It reminds me of England. But with fewer people in it.”

“Iowa looks exactly like Illinois. I’m not sure why they bothered to separate them. Just an endless stretch of motorway and pig farms. (There’s the distinction: Iowa smells more like pig shit than Illinois.)”

“I must be being too English again. What a time to realize I should have been watching more Friends reruns.”

“That’s a very attractive way to die, I think”

“Something specifically American: a gun demon”

“Can coyotes drive cars? I know they can play poker, the Mage told me.”

“‘They might put up with you deviants wherever you come from, but this is Nebraska.’”

“‘I’m an American,” the goat-man says. ‘Fourth generation. My family came here to get away from the likes of you.’ ‘Magicians?’ she asks. ‘Indians?’ Snow says. ‘The fucking English,’ the goat replies.”

“I don’t know if goat devils have windpipes.”

“Oh. There’s the gunfire I was expecting.”

“(Because he was the least of at least six evils.)”

“I still don’t know what kills vampires—but I suppose I can rule out a chestful of buckshot.”

“‘I’m the most basic bitch possible.’”

“(I’m probably never going to have kids, because I owe at least three imps my firstborn.)”

“I was worried about who we were going to send into the lobby—the black guy, the white devil, the Middle Eastern girl, or the pungent vampire. (Probably the white devil, right?)”

[romanianwilkinson]

LESS IS MORGUE SENTENCE STARTERS

A collection of quotes from the podcast Less is Morgue, episodes 101 and 102. Feel free to change pronouns/wording as desired. CONTENT WARNING(S) FOR: Crude, gore, cannibalism, drugs, death.

“ Oh my gosh, so they can hear me? ”

“ Hey! How is everybody doing? What's Earth been like since I died!? ”

“ Do people still say “Cool beans”? ”

“ In 2012, a Florida man died after consuming two-dozen live roaches in a competition - this is fifteen fewer than my personal best. ”

“ Let’s keep this tight, the pizza guy will be here any minute now. ”

“ What toppings did you get this time? ”

“ We need to get to some kind of point, or the reviews are gonna tear us a new one! ”

“ I apologize for being the first person to diss Nickelback. ”

“ At least they played it as you were lowered into the grave, in front of all your friends and loved ones. That must’ve been cathartic. ”

“ You were already in the afterlife at that point, right? ”

“ Well, I filled out my paperwork for sixteen years. ”

“ Every time you tell me this, I just can’t imagine an amount of paperwork that would take sixteen years. ”

“ Oh, I could ace that. I remember everything. ”

“ On this day, five years ago, I ate two dead rats and half a pound of Chef Boyardee’s canned unicorn meat. ”

“ [NAME], you know I eat way more than eight spiders a year. ”

“ I ate her corpse out of her grave. ”

“ To be fair, I had no idea that being eaten by a ghoul would mean that my sixteen years of paperwork would be for nothing. It’s okay though, I still had seven years left to go. ”

“ Why did you eat my body, anyway? ”

“ In hindsight, the gaping wounds probably would have been easier to manage than this. ”

“ I don’t want the deep state to know any of those things about me. ”

“ Personally, I think the rules of this whole haunting thing are nebulous bullshit. ”

“ That’s like asking who’s a better blind date than Jeffrey Dahmer. The answer being: literally anyone but Jeffrey Dahmer. ”

“ [NAME]! [NAME]! Stop! You’re killing the pizza man! ”

“ There’s blood everywhere, [NAME]! Jesus! Why did you do that!? ”

“ He entered my space without warning me! It was self-defense! ”

“ No, no. I think the rules are different when “eaten by ghoul” is the cause of death. He’s probably in the great DMV in the sky already. ”

“ That - in addition to my hefty child support bills - is why I’m shilling Agamemnon Condoms, the only brand willing to overlook my many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many transgressions. ”

“ No, but these are probably the kinds of questions you should ask yourself BEFORE killing random people. ”

“ It’s not ridiculous! You just have to remember not to murder everyone so hard when you meet them! ”

“ Name five people you know that aren’t dead. Family don't count. ”

“ Come on! This is the one thing we didn't want to happen! ”

“ Please don't undermine me in front of the dead pizza guy. ”

“ I physically can't stop anything, which is something you're probably gonna understand soon. ”

“ We used to call it Hell, but the underworld is a little more tourist-friendly. ”

“ Well, [NAME], me and my associates have been crunching the numbers regarding the fate of your immortal soul, and you, my friend, are Hellbound. ”

“ Okay so, just last week you illegally downloaded three movies that are still in theatres. ”

“ So you're sending me to hell...for piracy? ”

“ Now, come along, we just finished polishing the slide covered in razor blades. ”

“ I mean, it's better than literal Hell. ”

“ Wait, was that it? I’m not complaining, but I feel like you should have done more to torment us. ”

“ I think we should probably wrap this puppy up. We digressed, we forgot to plug our socials, we committed second degree murder - ”

“ So no demons, no murder, no digressing. ”

“ Do you have any idea how hard it is to scrub ghost audio out of a file? ”

“ In Tokyo, you can pay the Family Romance Corporation to imitate your friends, co-workers, and loved ones. Me? I do it for free. ”

“ Who told you about Instagram? Wait, doesn't matter. ”

“ Only we could go from having too many guests to not enough guests in the span of a minute. ”

“ This jerk can’t even see me, [NAME]! ”

“ As a soothsayer, I can say the sooth, the whole sooth, and nothing but the sooth. ”

“ A witch will take your bones. ”

“ Beware the ukulele. Nothing good will come of it. ”

“ I was just getting to that! Point is, I heard tell that this basement is haunted. ”

“ Don’t mock me with your pity. ”

“ He literally doesn’t know...anything. It’s almost impressive. ”

“ Fuck this, I can’t die now, think of my investments! ”

“ I’m living in the real world - and that means avoiding disappointment by having subterranean expectations! ”

“ I feel like maybe you’re just used to people treating you badly so you always assume the worst. Sometimes, good things just happen. ”

“ Sorry I’m late. A Shoggoth was blocking Oak Street so I had to take the long way round. ”

“ You didn't tell me he was a zombie! ” “ I thought it was implied, with the whole "brains" thing. ”

“ So anyway, one day they brought in this rare Sumatran Rat Monkey that some collector wanted to buy, but the little bastard got loose and just ate my face off my skull. ”

“ Should have been expected, really - the mortality rate for employees at that PetSmart is super high, especially after they started selling those flesh-eating scarab beetles and the goldfish that can control your thoughts. ”

“ Overworked? Underappreciated? Harboring a dark soul full of terrible secrets? Then go to Hell! Literally! ”

“ You know, people are always saying that the wages of sin is death, but who can afford to die in this economy? ”

“ You like it hot? We’ll literally boil your fucking skin off. You like dogs? Ours have three heads! That’s triple the dog! ”

“ You may or may not have the time of your life! ”

“ I think I’ve got a family of dead opossums in the freezer to tide me over… ”

“ You barely even look dead, honestly! ”

“ Did you know there are whole twitter accounts that just have pictures of dogs? I hadn't seen a dog in sixteen years, then boom, dogs everywhere! ”

“ Dogs driving cars - can you believe that? Can you believe that there's a dog out there that can drive? I mean, how did the dogs learn how to drive? Is there a doggy driving school? I bet every dog that goes to driving school just aces it, because dogs are good at everything. ”

“ I am a mistake of nature, a mad beast. ”

“ STOP EATING OUR GUESTS! ”

“ Stop invoking fate to excuse your mistakes! ” “ It’s my right as an American! ”

“ That’s no excuse, I’ve been dead for over ten years, and I’m here! ”

“ So she likes to indulge in a little of the devil’s lettuce… Or even a lot of the devil’s lettuce, who are we to judge? ”

“ I can do a really awesome metal scream. ”

“ Are you speaking to the goat again? ”

“ Goats are pretty cool, I guess. But also not real. ”

“ I wouldn't make a habit of doing this. It’s kinda creepy. ”

“ Sorry, sorry, I haven’t used a body in sixteen years, I'm a little rusty. ”

“ Just don't break it. I don't need anymore ghosts in here. ”

“ I don't think I could have possessed her for much longer. It’s not a good feeling. ”

“ What I’d give to live in your world, [NAME], it always sounds so much nicer than mine. ”

“ Don’t make me call an exorcist, [NAME]… ”

[a-secret-bolton-vampire]

The Coming War for the North, Part 2: The Lost Wolves

In part 1, I talked about the coming battle of ice with Stannis fighting against the Boltons to take Winterfell. I discussed the situation there, the pink letter, and briefly speculated what the battle of ice will entail and who I thought would emerge victorious. If you read that, you know I argued Stannis would lose and the true battle for the North would be fought by Jon against Ramsay. In part 2, I'll dive into setting up the different factions left in the North (and beyond!) that I think will be integral to the northern storyline in TWOW.

A Trip to Skagos

Last we saw of Davos, he was not executed by Wyman Manderly, and Lord Manderly has sent him to retrieve Rickon from Skagos. Davos in TWOW is definitely going to be fun to read, as Skagos sounds like a very sinister place (or is it all that sinister?) and seeing Rickon again should be interesting. At the beginning of ADWD Davos was sent to parley with the Manderlys by Stannis, but the Manderlys imprisoned him, and per what we hear from in AFFC, executed him.

Of course, they didn't, and instead put him into the Wolf's Den, an ancient castle that is now used as a prison. Then Davos is freed and meets with Wyman in private, with Robett Glover in attendance, who say they are not with the Boltons, and were merely playing up the ruse so that Wyman's son Wylis would be returned safely without a hint of disloyalty towards the Lannisters. Instead, they are plotting revenge against the Red Wedding, and inform Davos that they found Wex Pyke, Theon's mute squire, who eventually revealed that Rickon has gone to Skagos. Wyman will support Stannis if Davos successfully brings Rickon back.

We don't know a lot about Skagos, and the little we do know paints it as a very sinister, savage place. They are rumoured to practice human sacrifice to the weirwoods and cannibalism in winter, and luring passing ships with false lights, more like tribes of raiders not too dissimilar to wildlings. They also rose in rebellion against the Starks during the reign of King Daeron II, which lasted years and claimed the lives of thousands, Lord Barthogan Stark among them, before it was finally put down. Also they ride unicorns, one horned shaggy goats.

I'm not sure what Skagos will ultimately be like, but I think it's probably going to be a weird mix of wildlings and northmen. There is also the question of their relationship with both. The northmen hate them and view them as savages, and they are built up as sinister people, but perhaps they only play it up in order to be left alone. Their historical connection to the North isn't very positive, so they might enjoy being isolated from the rest of the North, so long as they aren't disturbed.

That said, it is interesting that Osha chose Skagos to hide with Rickon. Anywhere in the North is dangerous for a loose wildling and a young Stark to be in... except Skagos, apparently. Do the Skagosi have good relations with the free folk? They seem to live more like the free folk and the island is further north than the rest of the North (bordering on the lands of the Night's Watch & even stretching beyond the Wall). Plus, Osha went there with Rickon to keep him safe, so the idea that the free folk and Skagosi have connections isn't too unikely.

The real question I am wondering is; how is Rickon doing? Last we saw him, he was only 4 years old, wild and untamed. I somewhat subscribe to the theory that the names of the direwolves hint at their future, and while there is a theory that Rickon is a shaggydog story (a long winded, complicated anecdote that goes nowhere), I think Shaggydog more or less foreshadows Rickon's wild nature. There is nobody training his warging abilities, and he was already wild to begin with, and now he's on a remote island in the middle of nowhere, so I only think he's going to grow more and more wild.

And, how are the Skagosi treating Rickon? Do they like him? They don't have good historical connections with the Starks, so they may not like Rickon when they first met him. Maybe they revere him since he is a warg? Or perhaps nobody truly knows who he is, but some kid with a giant wolf who knows lives on the island, and people give him offerings? Since we have little to nothing to go off, we have no idea what exactly Rickon has been up to since his exit from the pages in ACOK.

Regardless, Davos might find himself in a difficult position to convince Rickon to return. He's a complete stranger and nobody is going to trust his agenda, least of all Osha who was tasked with keeping Rickon safe. Given George has "important plans" for Rickon, I doubt Davos will fail to bring Rickon back, but it won't be easy, and probably will take some time.

From there, I see two possible places for Davos to go. While he would be tasked with returning Rickon to White Harbor, there is a possibility that the storms will force him to land in Eastwatch. Rickon could have a reunion with Jon Snow if that is the case, but I tend to favour Rickon being returned to White Harbor and used to rally Manderly and their allies against Ramsay. Wyman tells Davos all the value of having his House as an ally against the Boltons.

"I have been building warships for more than a year. Some you saw, but there are as many more hidden up the White Knife. Even with the losses I have suffered, I still command more heavy horse than any other lord north of the Neck. My walls are strong, and my vaults are full of silver. Oldcastle and Widow's Watch will take their lead from me. My bannermen include a dozen petty lords and a hundred landed knights. I can deliver King Stannis the allegiance of all the lands east of the White Knife, from Widow's Watch and Ramsgate to the Sheepshead Hills and the headwaters of the Broken Branch."

Stannis Baratheon

One thing to note is what Stannis will be doing. Say he, as I think happened, was defeated by the Boltons and faked his death. What is his next move? It's entirely possible that Stannis just retreats to the Nightfort, a location that he intends on sitting at one day, and in his desperation, burns Shireen to wake dragons out of stone (apparently people hate this take but it's a possibility in my mind). However, this isn't to say he is completely out of the game yet.

The Manderlys are open to allying with Stannis (should Davos be successful in retrieving Rickon), and they are part of the army sent in the battle of ice to do battle with Stannis. Could they possibly help fake Stannis's death in battle and have him retreat to a secret location? There is potential foreshadowing for this.

"White Harbor would give me a ready source of supply and a secure base to which I could retreat at need."

Could they have him retreat to the Wolf's Den, an ancient castle turned prison? There is a secret passageway connecting the Wolf's Den to the New Castle that Davos was shown.

While it might just be simpler for Stannis to retreat and die, this story is anything but simple, and I feel George is still having him around for a reason. He did send Justin Massey to Braavos to hire sellswords and sent them to him through Eastwatch (which is how I believe Arya will return to Westeros), so those might come in handy in the future. So while I believe the Starks will be the centre of defeating the Boltons and retaking Winterfell, Stannis could still have a role in this. One idea is that he actually takes the Dreadfort.

While the original idea posed by Arnolf was to merely siege it, and was supposed to undermine Stannis, interrogating Theon would be of some great use, as could the fleet of warships Lord Manderly has been building. Theon once escaped the Dreadfort through a postern gate that is either lightly or not guarded at all, with the help of Kyra, only for this to all be a game devised by Ramsay to hunt them back down. His knowledge of the Dreadfort could prove useful for Stannis to take it, while the Manderly fleet rows up the Weeping Water and lays siege to it.

A Blaze of Boltons

Now it's time to look at the Boltons. Say Roose is successful in holding Winterfell and defeating Stannis, and he gets rid of the Freys and Manderlys. What then? The northern houses are still only tentatively loyal to him, and he knows it. But the danger that poses to him is temporarily dealt with. The true danger was the fact that there was an option to join a new side against the Boltons, but once Stannis defeated, they are back to being all by themselves, knowing the Iron Throne is backing the Boltons and not risking their ire.

However, there is a distinct possibility that the Boltons will still lose support eventually, and by none other than their own hands, specifically Ramsay's. As a psychopath, Ramsay has an enormous ego, and is very concerned about his birthright, hoping he will one day be Warden of the North and Lord of the Dreadfort.

"My lord has a new wife to give him sons." "And won't my bastard love that? Lady Walda is a Frey, and she has a fertile feel to her. I have become oddly fond of my fat little wife. The two before her never made a sound in bed, but this one squeals and shudders. I find that quite endearing. If she pops out sons the way she pops in tarts, the Dreadfort will soon be overrun with Boltons. Ramsay will kill them all, of course. That's for the best. I will not live long enough to see new sons to manhood, and boy lords are the bane of any House. Walda will grieve to see them die, though."

Roose is aware of just how unhinged Ramsay is. He knows Ramsay will be upset if Walda gives birth to a boy, and knows Theon is reporting back to Ramsay. But Roose doesn't really seem to care all that much. Perhaps he would be amused if this did happen. Or perhaps he's just trying to comfort Ramsay to prevent this happening. Regardless, he also knows that Ramsay was responsible for his half-brother Domeric's death.

"Yes, m'lord. Domeric. I … I have heard his name …" "Ramsay killed him. A sickness of the bowels, Maester Uthor says, but I say poison. In the Vale, Domeric had enjoyed the company of Redfort's sons. He wanted a brother by his side, so he rode up the Weeping Water to seek my bastard out. I forbade it, but Domeric was a man grown and thought that he knew better than his father. Now his bones lie beneath the Dreadfort with the bones of his brothers, who died still in the cradle, and I am left with Ramsay. Tell me, my lord … if the kinslayer is accursed, what is a father to do when one son slays another?"

It seems clear that Ramsay's murder of his half-brother Domeric is foreshadowing, not just for the eventual death of Walda's child, but for Roose as well. Ramsay is very close to one day snapping and doing something so horrible that he cannot go back from. And to make it more clear, there is a line at the end of ADWD that I completely overlooked that shows Walda is actually pregnant.

Roose Bolton entered, pale-eyed and yawning, accompanied by his plump and pregnant wife, Fat Walda.

Later Ramsay and Roose are seen arguing, and Walda seems very frightened, but Theon doesn't hear what they say. It's possible they were arguing about Ramsay's inheritance given that Walda is now pregnant (although I think they were more likely arguing about what to do with Stannis). Regardless, I think that Walda giving birth to a boy would drive Ramsay over the edge. Despite him being impulsive and angry, he's still quite capable of covering up what he does. So I think, just as he did with Domeric, he will poison Roose, Walda, and his newborn half-brother, leaving him the only Bolton left and asserting his dominance over the North.

Of course, this is going to have serious consequences for Ramsay, something I will get into in part 3, where I will talk at length about the coming Bastardbowl.