#the truth is that I just wanted to draw a background

[softcenteregg]

// But what do you say to taking chances? // ❤️💛

[wigglebox]

Little Stroll 🍂

[tainted-esau]

Woa

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

The Telling Truth: When 'Show, Don't Tell' Doesn't Apply (You Don't Always Have To Show, Don't Tell.)

Hey there, fellow writers and beloved members of the writeblr community! 📝✨

Today, I want to talk about something that's been on my mind lately, and I have a feeling it might resonate with many of you too. It's about that age-old writing advice we've all heard a million times: "Show, don't tell." Now, don't get me wrong – it's great advice, and it has its place in our writing toolbox. But here's the thing: it's not the be-all and end-all of good writing. In fact, I'd argue that sometimes, it's perfectly okay – even necessary – to tell rather than show.

First things first, let's address the elephant in the room. The "show, don't tell" rule has been drilled into our heads since we first picked up a pen (or opened a Word document) with the intention of writing creatively. It's been repeated in writing workshops, creative writing classes, and countless craft books. And for good reason! Showing can create vivid, immersive experiences for readers, allowing them to feel like they're right there in the story.

But here's where things get a bit tricky: like any rule in writing (or in life, for that matter), it's not absolute. There are times when telling is not just acceptable, but actually preferable. And that's what you all will explore today in this hopefully understandable blog post.

Let's start by breaking down why "show, don't tell" is so popular. When we show instead of tell, we're engaging the reader's senses and emotions. We're painting a picture with words, allowing the reader to draw their own conclusions based on the details we provide. It's a powerful technique that can make our writing more engaging and memorable.

For example, instead of saying "Sarah was angry," we might write, "Sarah's fists clenched at her sides, her jaw tight as she glared at the broken vase." This gives the reader a clearer image and allows them to infer Sarah's emotional state.

But here's the thing: sometimes, we don't need or want that level of detail. Sometimes, efficiency in storytelling is more important than painting an elaborate picture. And that's where telling comes in handy.

Imagine if every single emotion, action, or piece of information in your story was shown rather than told. Your novel would probably be thousands of pages long, and your readers might get lost in the sea of details, losing sight of the main plot or character arcs.

So, when might telling be more appropriate? Let's explore some scenarios:

Summarizing less important events: If you're writing a story that spans a long period, you don't need to show every single day or event. Telling can help you summarize periods of time or less crucial events quickly, allowing you to focus on the more important parts of your story.

For instance: "The next few weeks passed in a blur of exams and late-night study sessions." This sentence tells us what happened without going into unnecessary detail about each day.

Providing necessary background information: Sometimes, you need to give your readers some context or backstory. While you can certainly weave this information into scenes, there are times when a straightforward telling of facts is more efficient.

Example: "The war had been raging for three years before Sarah's village was attacked." This quickly gives us important context without needing to show the entire history of the war.

Establishing pace and rhythm: Alternating between showing and telling can help you control the pace of your story. Showing tends to slow things down, allowing readers to immerse themselves in a moment. Telling can speed things up, moving the story along more quickly when needed.

Clarifying complex ideas or emotions: Some concepts or feelings are abstract or complex enough that showing alone might not suffice. In these cases, a bit of telling can help ensure your readers understand what's happening.

For example: "The quantum entanglement theory had always fascinated John, but explaining it to others often left him feeling frustrated and misunderstood." Here, we're telling the reader about John's relationship with this complex scientific concept, which might be difficult to show effectively.

Maintaining your narrative voice: Sometimes, telling is simply more in line with your narrative voice or the tone of your story. This is especially true if you're writing in a more direct or conversational style.

Now, I can almost hear some of you saying, "But wait! I've always been told that showing is always better!" And I completely get it. I'm a writer myself and prioritize "Show, Don't tell." in my writing all the time. We've been conditioned to believe that showing is superior in all cases. But we can take a moment to challenge that notion.

Think about some of your favorite books. Chances are, they use a mix of showing and telling. Even the most critically acclaimed authors don't adhere strictly to "show, don't tell" all the time. They understand that good writing is about balance and knowing when to use each technique effectively.

Take, for instance, the opening line of George Orwell's "1984": "It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen." This is a perfect blend of showing and telling. Orwell shows us it's a bright, cold day (we can imagine the crisp air and clear sky), but he tells us about the clocks striking thirteen. This immediate telling gives us crucial information about the world we're entering – it's not quite like our own.

Or consider this passage from Jane Austen's "Pride and Prejudice": "Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character." Here, Austen is clearly telling us about Mr. Bennet's character rather than showing it through his actions. And yet, it works beautifully, giving us a quick, clear insight into both Mr. Bennet and his wife.

The key is to use both techniques strategically. So, how can you decide when to show and when to tell? Here are some tips:

Consider the importance of the information: Is this a crucial moment in your story, a pivotal emotion, or a key piece of character development? If so, it might be worth showing. If it's more of a transitional moment or background information, telling might be more appropriate.

Think about pacing: If you want to slow down and really immerse your reader in a moment, show it. If you need to move things along more quickly, tell it.

Evaluate the complexity: If you're dealing with a complex emotion or concept, consider whether showing alone will be enough to convey it clearly. Sometimes, a combination of showing and telling works best for complex ideas.

Consider your word count: If you're working with strict word count limitations (like in short stories or flash fiction), telling can help you convey necessary information more concisely.

Trust your instincts (Important): As you write more, you'll develop a feel for when showing or telling works better. Trust your gut, and don't be afraid to experiment.

Now, let's talk about how to tell effectively when you do choose to use it. Because here's the thing: telling doesn't have to be boring or flat. It can be just as engaging and stylish as showing when done well. Here are some tips for effective telling:

Use strong, specific language: Instead of using vague or generic words, opt for more specific, evocative language. For example, instead of "She was sad," you might write, "A profound melancholy settled over her."

Incorporate sensory details: Even when telling, you can include sensory information to make it more vivid. "The room was cold" becomes more engaging as "A bone-chilling cold permeated the room."

Use metaphors and similes: These can help make your telling more colorful and memorable. "His anger was like a volcano ready to erupt" paints a vivid picture without showing the anger in action.

Keep it concise: One of the advantages of telling is its efficiency. Don't negate that by being overly wordy. Get to the point, but do it with style.

Vary your sentence structure: Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, more flowing ones to create rhythm and maintain interest.

Remember, the goal is to create a seamless narrative that engages your reader. Sometimes that means showing, sometimes it means telling, and often it means a artful blend of both.

It's also worth noting that different genres and styles of writing may lean more heavily on one technique or the other. Literary fiction often employs more showing, delving deep into characters' psyches and painting elaborate scenes. Genre fiction, on the other hand, might use more telling to keep the plot moving at a brisker pace. Neither approach is inherently better – it all depends on what works best for your story and your style.

Now, I want to address something that I think many of us struggle with: the guilt or anxiety we might feel when we catch ourselves telling instead of showing. It's easy to fall into the trap of second-guessing every sentence, wondering if we should be showing more. But here's the truth: that kind of constant self-doubt can be paralyzing and ultimately detrimental to your writing process.

So, I want you to understand and think: It's okay to tell sometimes. You're not a bad writer for using telling in your work. In fact, knowing when and how to use telling effectively is a sign of a skilled writer.

Here's some practical ways to incorporate this mindset into your writing process:

First Draft Freedom: When you're writing your first draft, give yourself permission to write however it comes out. If that means more telling than showing, that's absolutely fine. The important thing is to get the story down. You can always revise and add more "showing" elements later if needed.

Revision with Purpose: When you're revising, don't automatically change every instance of telling to showing. Instead, ask yourself: Does this serve the story better as telling or showing? Consider the pacing, the importance of the information, and how it fits into the overall narrative.

Beta Readers and Feedback: When you're getting feedback on your work, pay attention to how readers respond to different sections. If they're engaged and understanding the story, then your balance of showing and telling is probably working well, regardless of which technique you're using more.

Study Your Favorite Authors: Take some time to analyze how your favorite writers use showing and telling. You might be surprised to find more instances of effective telling than you expected.

Practice Both Techniques (Important): Set aside some time to practice both showing and telling. Write the same scene twice, once focusing on showing and once on telling. This can help you develop a feel for when each technique is most effective.

Now, let's address another important point: the evolution of writing styles and reader preferences. The "show, don't tell" rule gained popularity in the early 20th century with the rise of modernist literature. But writing styles and reader tastes have continued to evolve since then.

In our current fast-paced world, where people are often reading on devices and in shorter bursts, there's sometimes a preference for more direct, efficient storytelling. This doesn't mean that showing is out of style, but it does mean that there's often room for more telling than strict adherence to "show, don't tell" would allow.

Moreover, diverse voices in literature are challenging traditional Western writing norms, including the emphasis on showing over telling. Some cultures have strong storytelling traditions that lean more heavily on telling, and as the literary world becomes more inclusive, we're seeing a beautiful variety of styles that blend showing and telling in new and exciting ways.

This brings me to an important point: your voice matters. Your unique way of telling stories is valuable. Don't let rigid adherence to any writing rule, including "show, don't tell," stifle your natural voice or the story you want to tell.

Remember, rules in writing are more like guidelines. They're tools to help us improve our craft, not unbreakable laws. The most important rule is to engage your reader and tell your story effectively. If that means more telling than the conventional wisdom suggests, then so be it.

As I wrap up this discussion, I want to leave you with a challenge: In your next writing session, consciously use both showing and telling. Pay attention to how each technique feels, how it serves your story, and how it affects the rhythm of your writing. You might discover new ways to blend these techniques that work perfectly for your unique style.

Writing is an art, not a science. There's no perfect formula, no one-size-fits-all approach. It's about finding what works for you, your story, and your readers. So embrace both showing and telling. Use them as the powerful tools they are, and don't be afraid to break the "rules" when your instincts tell you to.

Remember, every great writer started where you are now, learning the rules and then figuring out when and how to break them effectively. You're part of a long, proud tradition of storytellers, each finding their own path through the winding forest of words.

Keep writing, keep growing, and keep believing in yourself. You've got this!

Happy writing! 💖✍️ - Rin T.

Before you go, why not join us at The Write Right Society? We're a supportive Tumblr community where writers lift each other up. Whether you're a newbie or a pro, we'd love to have you! Share your work, get feedback, and connect with fellow wordsmiths, writers and aspiring authors. 

[ideksams]

a rough fanart for this lovely fanfic that i think about a lot!

when he found out that anya knew the truth all long…

※ the writing in the picture is not mine. it belongs to one of my favorite (if not THE favorite) fanworks written by the lovely @piracytheorist!

a little out of the blue, this is along the line of things i've wanted to draw for fun since forever…! the latest chapter reminded me in a way… apologies for the quick roughness, it's like practice, or a trial run for these ✍️ i'd like to do more and practice different things! like backgrounds...

※ anywho- masterpost of the entire work here, for those interested in reading it too! (see warnings!)

https://piracytheorist.tumblr.com/post/720279101761552384/macabre-theme-and-variations-masterpost (i just really, really love it. and the way that twilight, yor, anya, and everyone is written. i shouldn't go in too much depth about it, but there's something about how it covers this aspect between loid and anya- can you imagine how loid would feel if he found out that anya knew since the BEGINNING that he's been lying to her? well, this fic covers it and i LOVE. IT.)

[p0orbaby]

Long Live the Local

summary: it’s all fun and games until the lights are dimmed and her name gets her nowhere

warnings: suggestive ish

a/n: the lovechild of my brain and this request

word count: 1.8k

-

You were never one for sports.

The idea of chasing a ball around a field for hours seems absurd. The thought of people giving everything for a game, the relentless training, the blind devotion—it’s always struck you as bizarre, quite frankly. And yet, here you are, entangled in the whirlwind that is Leah Williamson, a name that makes headlines almost every other day.

You remember the first time you saw her, standing on that pitch, chest puffed out, head held high—a lioness surveying her kingdom. Leah is everything you aren’t: confident, charismatic, and dripping with a cockiness that should’ve been off-putting but instead, was annoyingly magnetic.

You met at a pub, a noisy, crowded place where the scent of spilled beer and sweat mingled in the air. It was one of those boozers where the music is too loud, and the conversations have to be shouted over it. The kind of spot where everyone seems to know each other, and yet, anonymity can still wrap around you like a comforting shroud. Leah approached you with the swagger of someone who knew exactly what she wanted and was used to getting it. She leaned against the bar next to you, her presence commanding attention, even in the dim, flickering light.

“Never seen you around here before,” she said, her voice low and smooth, cutting through the background noise like a hot knife through butter. “You a fan of the game, or did you just get lost?”

You raised an eyebrow, taken aback by her audacity. There was a confidence in her eyes, a challenge almost. “I’m not lost, and I’m definitely not a fan,” you replied, meeting her gaze head-on. There was no way you were going to let her intimidate you.

Leah’s grin widened, her eyes lighting up with amusement. It was as if she could sense your defiance and welcomed it. “So, if you’re not here for the game, what brought you out tonight?”

You shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant despite the fascinating pull of her presence. “Just looking for a good time, I guess.” It sounded lame even to your ears, but it was the truth. You were here to escape, to find something or someone to distract you from the monotony of your everyday life.

“Well, you found it,” Leah said, her confidence unwavering. Her voice had a way of making a statement sound like a promise. “Name’s Leah, by the way. Leah Williamson”

“I know who you are,” you said, unable to keep the hint of a smile from your lips. “You’re kind of hard to miss.” In the world of sports, she was a star, and even you, with your disinterest in the game, couldn’t ignore her presence.

She laughed, a sound that seemed to fill the entire bar, drawing eyes toward you both. “Glad to know I’m making an impression. So, what’s your name, mystery girl?”

Her question hung in the air between you, the noise of the bar fading into the background. For a moment, it was just the two of you, and you felt the pull of her gaze, like a current you'd happily stop swimming against.

You told her, and she repeated it, as if testing how it felt on her tongue. “Nice to meet you,” she said, extending a hand. You took it, feeling the callouses on her palm, a testament to her dedication to the sport she loved. Her grip was firm, the handshake of someone used to making first impressions count, the texture of her skin a contrast to the polished smoothness of the world you inhabited.

The conversation flowed easily after that, Leah’s brashness a constant undercurrent. She regaled you with stories of her exploits on and off the pitch, each one more outrageous than the last. She was a master storyteller, her words painting vivid pictures that made you laugh and shake your head in disbelief. She had a way of drawing you in, her voice animated and expressive, making you feel as if you were right there with her in those moments of triumph and chaos.

“You don’t believe me?” she asked, feigning hurt when you expressed doubt about one particularly outlandish tale. “I’ll have you know, I recovered 56 balls in one tournament. Google it.”

“I’m sure you did,” you replied, rolling your eyes. “You’re full of it, you know that?”

“Full of talent, maybe,” she shot back, her grin widening. Her confidence was almost tangible, like a force field around her. “But you like it. Admit it”

You couldn’t deny it. There was something intoxicating about Leah’s confidence, the way she carried herself as if the world was hers for the taking. And she made you feel like you were part of that world, like you were special just because she had chosen you to share it with. She had a gravitational pull that was impossible to resist, and you found yourself drawn into her orbit, fascinated by the ease with which she navigated life.

-

It wasn’t long before Leah’s flat became a second home to you, a place where the boundaries between who you were and who you were becoming blurred. The transition was seamless, your belongings slowly migrating to her space, until it felt as much yours as hers. She was intoxicating, and you drank her in, day after day, drawn to the allure of her bravado.

Every touch, every kiss was imbued with the essence of Leah’s unwavering self-assurance. She was the master of the moment, every moment, and she made sure you knew it. The way she kissed you, the way her hands moved over your body, it was as if she was claiming you, making you part of her domain.

But then, there were the nights. The nights when Leah’s cocksure attitude evaporated like morning mist, leaving behind a woman so different it was almost disorienting. She’d pull you into her bed with that same easy confidence, but as soon as the lights dimmed, it was as if she transformed. The bravado melted away, revealing layers of complexity and vulnerability that she kept hidden from the world.

You remember the first time it happened.

You were both lying on her bed, the city lights filtering through the blinds casting patterns on the walls. The silence of the room was punctuated by the distant hum of traffic, a soothing backdrop to the intimacy of the moment. Leah was beside you, her breath steady but her fingers trembling ever so slightly as they traced your burning skin. You turned to look at her, expecting to see that familiar fire in her eyes, but instead, you found something else: vulnerability.

Her cheeks were flushed, her usual smirk replaced by an uncertain smile. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out, only a soft, shaky exhale. You reached out, placing your hand over hers, and felt the tremor beneath your touch. It was a startling contrast to the confident, almost arrogant persona she projected when the sun was high in the sky.

In the darkness, stripped of her public persona, Leah was just a human, vulnerable and real, seeking connection and reassurance.

“Leah,” you whispered, not sure what else to say. She swallowed hard, her throat bobbing nervously. The Leah you knew, the one with a cheeky grin and a sharp wit, was nowhere to be seen. Instead, here was a woman who seemed almost fragile in her fragility.

“I… I don’t want to mess this up,” she confessed, her voice barely audible. “I know I can be… a lot.” The words hung in the air, heavy with the weight of her insecurity. It was a rare glimpse behind the curtain, a look at the person Leah hid from the world.

Her honesty was a dagger through the fabric of her carefully constructed persona. You saw her then, really saw her, and it broke your heart and healed it all at once. The mask had slipped, and in its place was a raw, unfiltered truth that made her seem more real than ever.

“You’re not messing anything up,” you assured her, squeezing her hand gently. “Just be you. That’s all I want.” You meant every word, the simplicity of your statement cutting through her fears like a balm.

Leah’s eyes closed, and she took a deep breath, her confidence fracturing and giving way to something raw, something real. She moved closer, her body pressing against yours, and you felt the shiver that ran through her. Her lips found yours, hesitant at first, then growing bolder as you responded, meeting her halfway. There was a tenderness in the way she kissed you, an exposure that spoke volumes.

In the intimacy of those moments, Leah was stripped of her armor. She wasn’t the star athlete or the charismatic leader. She was simply Leah, a woman who, despite all her bravado, was terrified of letting you down. Her hands, usually so steady and sure, fumbled with the buttons of your shirt, and she muttered an embarrassed apology that made you smile.

“It’s okay,” you murmured, guiding her hands with yours. “We’ve got all the time in the world.” Your words were a promise, a reassurance that there was no rush, no pressure.

You moved together, slowly, tentatively, exploring each other with a tenderness that left no room for the smug exterior Leah wore so well. Her kisses were soft, almost reverent, and when she finally pulled back, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. It was a moment of pure connection, untainted by the personas you both wore for the world outside these four walls.

“Why do you put up with me?” she asked, her voice breaking. The question was loaded with the fear of rejection, the uncertainty that came with letting someone see the real you.

You cupped her face in your hands, wiping away a tear that had escaped. “Because I see you, Leah. All of you. And I wouldn’t change a thing.” It was the truth, plain and simple. In seeing her, you saw everything that made her who she was, and you loved her for it.

She kissed you again, deeply this time, and you felt her relax into the moment, her feebleness transforming into trust.

You made love that night, slow and sweet, every touch a promise, every kiss a vow. Leah crumbled beneath your hands, her confidence unraveling until all that was left was the pure, unguarded woman she tried so hard to hide. It was a dance of faith and tenderness, a mutual unveiling of the selves you kept to yourselves.

In the aftermath, as you lay tangled together, Leah’s head resting on your chest, you felt her breathe a contented sigh. Her fingers traced lazy patterns on your skin, and for once, she was silent, no clever words or witty remarks, just the sound of her breathing, steady and sure.

[dreamescapeswriting]

Twisted Royalty ~ HHJ

WORD COUNT: 4k

GENRE: established relationships, cute, fluffy, a little angst, i hope this is okay, i didn’t have him kidnap her as i had no idea of a way to get it to end happy if he did T_T i’m sorry

PAIRING: Hyunjin x Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - August 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Hyunjin hated this sort of thing, he hated it and yet he'd willed himself to come along for one reason and one reason alone.

You.

He knew you'd be here tonight and so he forced himself to dress in his finest suit and got dressed up for you. The grand ball room he was stuffed in was filled with representatives from both the Sun Kingdom and Lunaris Kingdom - his own Kingdom. 

The air buzzed with tension, each hushed conversation weaving a sense of unease around everyone. No one knew exactly why they were there, just that a meeting had been called and that was never to be ignored. Hyunjin's eyes scanned over the crowd again to find you and he smiled when he saw you. Standing in a ball gown you seemed to hate - which you did and he knew that. He knew everything that there was to know about you. 

You stood beside your brother, Prince Felix, your eyes sweeping over the faces of those who had gathered for this pivotal meeting, you shifted your weight from one foot to the other and glanced up at your brother, whispering something. No doubt asking if you could leave but Hyunjin knew Felix wouldn't let you, not yet. The meeting was nothing like the others that were in it's place before it.

It was going to be a lengthy negotiation; it was a chance to end the long-standing conflict between your kingdoms. 

"Please! Sit!" Felix announced as people sat down along the great table, Hyunjin's eyes were on you the whole time as you nervously sat on the left of your brother. Quickly moving Hyunjin made sure his seat was across from yours. Anything to get even a little bit closer to you without seeming suspicious.

As the meeting commenced you did your best to appear interested in everything that was being spoken about but the truth was you had no idea. Slowly your gaze drifted across the table and landed on him—Prince Hyunjin of the Lunaris Kingdom. It had been years since you last saw him, but the sight of him was as striking as ever and had your heart racing outside of your chest. There was something about him that made you want to throw caution to the wind and jump into his arms but you forced yourself to look down at the table. Hyunjin was seated at the table beside Felix and directly opposite you, his posture relaxed, yet there was a palpable energy radiating from him. Glancing back up for a final look Hyunjin caught your gaze, and you felt a jolt of recognition pass between you. His eyes widened slightly, and for a fleeting moment, the bustling room seemed to fade into the background and he sent you a smile. Despite the composed exterior he projected, you noticed the subtle signs of his nervousness—the way his fingers tapped rhythmically on the table, and the slight sheen of sweat on his brow, something only you seemed to notice. It was as if he was struggling to maintain the mask of calm he wore so expertly.

Your heart raced, mirroring the anxious energy you sensed from him. Memories of past encounters surfaced in your mind—moments when you had caught glimpses of a softer side beneath his hardened exterior. It was clear to you that Hyunjin wasn't cold-hearted like many people had told you in the past, he was just worried about his Kingdom. You had always felt that there was more to him than the war-hardened prince your people feared.

Felix leaned in, breaking your trance and sending your eyes down onto the table again. 

“Ready to begin?” he asked quietly, his voice a steady anchor in the sea of tension. He followed your gaze to Hyunjin, then looked back at you with a knowing expression. It was his job as a big brother to know what you were up to at all times - or so he said it was.

“Yes,” you replied, drawing in a breath to steady yourself. The weight of your responsibilities pressed upon you, you knew you were supposed to pay attention to everything but it was hard. Especially when no one even knew why the two Kingdoms were at war anymore.

The stories had long been twisted and no one knew the true reason behind any of it anymore.

The meeting unfolded with formalities and strategic discussions and you did your best to at least appear interested to make your brother feel better. But as the representatives spoke, you felt Hyunjin’s gaze on you more than once, a subtle reminder of the connection that seemed to vibrate between you. His presence was like a magnetic force, pulling your thoughts back to him even as you focused on the matters at hand.

You felt yourself drawn to him, unable to look away even if you wanted to. You watched as he listened intently, his eyes scanning the faces around the table. When he spoke, his voice was measured and authoritative, yet you noticed the moments his gaze flicked back to you, the way his expression softened ever so slightly. You could sense his anxiety and his uneasiness towards all of this and Hyunjin didn't know if he hated you for that or not yet.

Ever since your first meeting together he'd done everything he could to learn everything about you. Your hobbies, favourite food, your routine, everything he could find out he wanted to find out and he had. For some reason you were stuck in his head and he was obsessed with you. 

All because you seemed to be warm toward his people when no one else had been before. It was years ago now, he'd bought his people to see your Kingdom and to try and convince your brother to help him and you were there. 

You took some of the children and took them to relax in the play area, giving them warmth and kindness none of them had ever experienced in their lives before.

The meeting was as they usually were... useless. No one could agree to any of the negotiations leading to everyone taking a long break and you did what you always did and ran to the gardens. They were your own little safe space, somewhere you could go to get away from everything and everyone that was talking about you and not to you.

You wandered along the winding paths, breathing in the sweet scent of roses and jasmine filling your nose as you tried to will yourself to relax. The sound of birds chirping overhead was soothing, and for a brief moment, you allowed yourself to forget the responsibilities waiting for you inside the castle walls and you let out a deep breath. For one moment you wished you weren't a princess, just a girl with no responsibilities.

As you sat in a secluded corner of the garden, you heard footsteps behind you and you could feel your heart racing. No one knew about this place except for your brother and some of the guards who had been forced to come and find you.

Turning, you found yourself face-to-face with Prince Hyunjin and your breath caught in your throat a little. The sight of him took you by surprise, and your heart skipped a beat. He stood a few paces away, the sunlight catching the glint in his eyes as he regarded you with a mixture of caution and something else—something softer.

“Princess YN,” he greeted, his voice a blend of formality and familiarity. There was a hint of hesitation in his stance as if he wasn’t sure how you would react to his presence.

"I didn't mean to interrupt your private time," He finally said before you shook your head at him.

“Prince Hyunjin, I just...wasn't expecting anybody to join me. I didn't know anyone else knew of this corner of the gardens,” you replied, inclining your head slightly for him to join you on the bench across from you. Hyunjin shakily took a seat, he never would have followed you before but something just forced him to tonight.

He found himself wanting to check on you, to make sure you were okay after the hellish meeting that had just happened.

“I just needed a moment to clear my head after the meeting...The gardens seemed like the perfect place for that," he said, a small smile playing at the corners of his lips. It wasn't a whole lie, he thought to himself. It was true he wanted some time to clear his head but the whole gardens was only because of you.

You nodded, understanding all too well the weight of the decisions that had been discussed earlier. The path you were on had the potential to change the fate of your kingdoms, and the gravity of it all was not lost on you.

"I just wish there was a way we could end all of the fighting," You breathe out, finding yourself able to open up to him with ease.  Hyunjin leaned onto his knees.

“I have an idea as to what could help...But I wanted to speak to you about it before I suggested it to your brother or the rest of the representives.” His sincerity caught you off guard and you stared into his eyes. His eyes were softened as you searched them. Despite the political tension between your families, there was something genuine about him, something that had always intrigued you.

“What did you wish to suggest?” you asked, your curiosity piqued.

Hyunjin hesitated for a moment as if choosing his words carefully. He had to be careful with this, it would either bring you to him or push you further away. 

“I know our kingdoms have been at odds for a long time, and the meeting today was a step toward something better. But I wanted to tell you that my intentions... my interest in peace is genuine. I hope you know that.” His words carried a weight that went beyond mere diplomacy, and you could see the earnestness in his eyes, you nodded your head at him. There was no doubt in your mind that Hyunjin wanted there to be peace between the kingdoms.

“I believe you,” you said softly, feeling the tension ease slightly. “I’ve seen the way you’ve advocated for your people and mine. It’s clear you want what’s best for both kingdoms.” A breeze rustled through the trees, carrying the scent of blooming flowers between you and you took in a deep breath, letting the flowers relax you. At that moment, it was as if the garden existed in its own world, a place where the burdens of leadership could be set aside, even if just for a while.

Hyunjin seemed to relax at your words, his shoulders losing some of their tension. 

“Thank you, Princess. I’ve admired your strength and kindness for some time now. It’s part of why I suggested what I did during the meeting. I truly believe that unity could bring lasting peace.” His admission took you by surprise, and you felt a warmth spread through you at the sincerity in his voice. 

"But my sisters are too young for Marriage," You told him but he shook his head at you, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

"The unity would be between me and you...your highness," Your heart practically lept into your throat at the thought of it. The idea of marriage had been a shock initially you hadn't wished your sisters to marry for the sake of peace and yet now when it was you? You weren't sure how to feel, but seeing Hyunjin here, in this moment, made it seem less daunting.

“I need time to think about it as does my brother...It's not something that can be easily said and done,” you replied, your voice steady but gentle. 

“This is a decision that affects more than just us.” You finished as you watched him. It wouldn't just be a marriage, there would need to be an heir produced to prove that this marriage was real and something that would provide peace for both Kingdoms. He nodded, understanding in his gaze. 

“Of course. I would expect nothing less. Just know that whatever you decide, I will respect your choice.” Silence settled over the garden, comfortable and familiar. For the first time, you saw Hyunjin not just as a prince of a rival kingdom but as a person, complex and sincere. In the quiet of the garden, you both found a sense of peace, a connection that promised the potential for change.

"Before you make your decision...I would love for you to come and visit the Kingdom."

"Of Lunaris?" Your voice cracked a little. You'd heard stories of his Kingdom, of what it used to be but it was nothing like that anymore - or so you'd been told.

"One week. You'll have your own half of the palace and I won't bother you, I'll have someone escort-" He began to ramble a little, something he did when he was nervous and you shook your head,

"It is not that I don't wish to be alone with you, Prince Hyunjin." you placed your hand gently on his thigh,

"Would I be safe there? Would this be accepted by my brother?"

"I would burn anyone that even looked at you without your explicit permission," The words slipped out before Hyunjin had a chance to process them and you felt your body flame a little.

"That's very sweet, Prince-"

"Just Hyunjin...Just Hyunjin," He whispered as you smiled, taking in a deep breath.

"I'd love to join you, Hyunjin." You promised him. It was going to be difficult to convince your brother of it but you were sure you'd have a way with words if it meant bringing peace between the Kingdoms.

The stories of Lunaris Kingdom were either VERY wrong or you had heard them wrong. Everything was so broken down and dark. You knew it was the moon kingdom of course but you had been expecting some kind of light.

The carriage jolted to a halt, and you peered out at the landscape that stretched before you. Lunaris was a stark contrast to the vibrant lands of the Sun Kingdom. The once-grand buildings were weathered and worn, their facades marred by the passage of time and neglect, some of them completely broken apart and overtaken by nature. The roads were uneven, lined with people whose clothes bore the signs of hardship, your eyes flicked across every single person. A sense of unease settled in your stomach as you stepped out of the carriage, your gaze taking in the desolate surroundings.

Prince Hyunjin waited at the entrance to the castle, a stately structure that had seen better days. He'd done everything he could to make the place look presentable for you but it was hard with little gold. Despite the decay, it stood proudly against the skyline, a testament to the resilience of its people. Hyunjin approached with a welcoming smile, his presence as reassuring as ever.

“Welcome to Lunaris, Princess YN,” he said, bowing slightly and you felt your skin heating as he took your hand in his and placed a small and gentle kiss on top of your hand. 

“I hope the journey wasn’t too tiring.”

“It was enlightening,” you replied, choosing your words carefully as you took in the scene before you. The kingdom was in a state of disrepair, yet there was something more here, something that went beyond the physical state of the land. Hyunjin seemed to sense your unease and cleared his throat.

“I know it’s not what you’re used to. Lunaris has faced many challenges, but I hope you’ll see the spirit of my people. Let me show you around.”

As you walked through the town, Hyunjin spoke of the struggles his kingdom had endured—the long years of war that had drained its resources and the efforts to rebuild from the ground up. Despite the dire state of the infrastructure, the people you encountered greeted you with smiles, their eyes reflecting a quiet determination and warmth that belied their circumstances.

"Did Felix allow you to come willingly or did you run for the hills?" Hyunjin teased as you walked together. Both of you falling into comfortable conversation with one another,

"He put up a bit of a fight. He doesn't seem to trust your intentions with me," You giggled a little at him and he looked at you,

"He believes you plan on keeping me here and forcing me to stay until I agree to the marriage."

"And you don't believe that?" Hyunjin seemed surprised that you had come along despite what your brother had said. You stopped walking and turned to look at him,

"I know you'd never hurt me Hyunjin...I can feel it inside of me that you'd never hurt me," You spoke with so much conviction it made Hyunjin's chest ache. The fact that you truly believed that he would never hurt you and was there for good with you.

"You're one of the only people to believe in the good in me." He whispered a little, a peek of his vulnerability creeping out around you. You looked at him, squeezing his hand softly.

"You're good. Even if people don't see it Hyunjin." You whisper. The two of you stared into one another's eyes as the rest of the world and its problems melted away around you and you looked only at one another. Your heart raced as you leaned into him, your chest pressing against his as he looked down at you, his eyes flicking from your lips to your eyes. 

"Princess, I-" The words couldn't be finished since you heard a scream of a child ring out before giggles erupted and you both sprang apart from one another.

"This is, this er, where I keep some of the children without homes," Hyunjin cleared his throat as he spoke and took you through to the children. 

There was one huge home that stood in the street and it looked busy. Children played in the streets, their laughter ringing through the air, while vendors sold their wares with pride, even if the offerings were meagre. Everywhere you looked, there was a sense of community, of people banding together to support one another despite the adversity they faced.

"The markets are this way too," He took your hand in his, both of you walking and talking together like it was the most natural thing in the world for you to do. 

Hyunjin stopped by a market stall, exchanging a few words with the vendor and purchasing a small loaf of bread. He handed it to a passing child, who grinned up at him before scampering off, going to share it with a bunch of his friends. You watched the interaction, a warmth spreading in your chest at the sight of Hyunjin’s kindness.

“These people have very little, yet they give so much,” Hyunjin said, his voice tinged with both pride and sorrow. 

“I’ve given everything I can—my gold, my time, my heart—to help them rebuild, but it’s a slow process.” You were struck by the sincerity in his words, the depth of his commitment to his people. You'd known many Kings and Queens who did not care about the people in their Kingdom and who would rather be rich and powerful than even feed their own people. Yet Hyunjin was different. He was willing to give up everything in order for his people to eat.

In that moment, you saw him not just as a prince, but as a leader who had earned the love and respect of his people through selflessness and dedication. It was clear that Hyunjin’s heart was as much a part of Lunaris as the land itself.

You'd returned to the palace a few hours ago and had been held up in your room, debating everything going on in your mind. It was clear that Lunaris was everything to Hyunjin and he was doing whatever he could to bring peace to the lands and to the people there and you were going to do what you could to help him.

"This is lovely, but you didn't have to do this for me," You said as you sat across from Hyunjin. The dining hall was intimate, with a long wooden table set simply but elegantly. Candlelight flickered in the dimly lit room, creating a cosy atmosphere that was surprisingly comforting. As the meal began, you found yourself thinking about the events of the day, the resilience of Lunaris' people, and Hyunjin’s unwavering dedication.

"I wanted to, you're my guest and you deserve to feel at home here," He smiled as he poured you some water.

Throughout dinner, Hyunjin spoke passionately about his dreams for his kingdom and his people, the determination to see Lunaris flourish once more evident in every word he uttered. You listened, captivated by his vision, feeling your admiration for him deepen with every passing moment.

As the meal drew to a close, you looked across the table at him, your decision made. The future of Lunaris and the Sun Kingdom seemed clearer now, you weren't just going to stand back and let his Kingdom fail while yours flourished.

There was more than enough gold to go around, more than enough workers in the Sun Kingdom that could work in Lunaris and bring it back to working order.

“Hyunjin,” you began, your voice steady, as you placed down your glass of water and smiled at him.

“I’ve seen your kingdom and the strength of your people. I’ve seen what kind of ruler you are, and I know that together, we can build something better for both our kingdoms.” His eyes widened slightly, as he realised what you were saying but he wanted to be sure. 

“Princess YN, what are you saying?” He whispers, your hands reached across the table and to take his hands and stroke against his skin softly.

“I’m saying that I’ll marry you,” you replied, your heart was racing. What if he suddenly decided he didn't want to marry you?  

"I want to stand by your side, not just as your ally, but as your partner and I want to be here to help rebuild everything you've lost in the war...We can stop it together, we can end the carnage.” Hyunjin’s expression softened, a look of profound gratitude and happiness transforming his features. 

“Thank you, YN. I promise you won’t regret this decision. I'll make you happy,” He promised as you smiled sweetly at him, his hands cupping your face and kissing you softly wihtout thinking it thorugh.

Your hear practically threw itself into his hands as you wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him closer to you, whining a little at the table that was in your way.

"Closer," You whined moving out from behind the table and practically sitting on his lap as he chuckled softly.

"Your brother would kill me if he knew what we were doing right now, Princess." He breathed out as he pulled back, leaning his forehead against yours as you both caught your breath,

"He'd have to go through me first," You whisper before kissing him softly. 

"That's how you saved the Kingdom? Through true love?!" Your son gagged before Hyunjin hit him with the back of the book he was holding, scolding his son with a single look.

"True love isn't something to joke about," You smirk as Hyunjin moves to sit behind you, his hands holding your baby bump as your Son rolls his eyes at you.

"You roll your eyes but one day you'll be married to someone as well," Hyunjin smirked but he shook his head, running off to go and find his friends while you, Felix and Hyunjin sat together on one of the hills of the Sun Kingdom. It had been a few years since your union wedding and Lunaris was almost back to complete order, a few buildings were still in disrepair but they were almost completed.

Everything was going exactly as planned and perfectly too.

@chiisaiblog @sw33tnight @kaitieskidmore97 @laylasbunbunny @stayconnecteed @saymyspringrain @toplinehyunjin @katnisspeetaprim @acciocriativity @just-aelia @choisoorin @straykids5star @midnightfrog625 @beccaskz @scarletemeterio @halesandy @junhannies @gothic4under4lord @lixie-phoria @soulphoenix1618 @aerastus @jin-from-the-block @lensfilm @elizaschuyler18 @piratequeen-impact @kpopsstuffs @chaeyoungs @delulu18 @xyahrinx @katsukis1wife @anthropologymajorkpopmultistan @blairscott @4-chan-inpadella @niktwazny303 @moonlight-the-writer @armystay89 @hadassahchan @yxngbxkkie @s3ungm1nxxl0ve

[pitchsidestories]

antidote II Leila Ouahabi x Reader

a/n: dear readers, enjoy reading this little oneshot and thank you @taysappho for sending us the request. 🤍🤍

masterlist I word count: 1446

“Amor, have you seen?”, Leila asked, her face brightly smiling at you through the phone screen.

Of course, you had seen it. You had been sitting in front of your phone to watch the UWCL draw and had prayed to whoever might have listened that Barcelona and Manchester City would face each other. There was nothing you wanted more than to play against your girlfriend on the biggest stage of European club football.

“The results of the UWCL draw? Yes!”, you yelled back at her through the video call.

“We’ll be playing against each other.“, Leila summarized the obvious, seemingly still unable to believe it.

You nodded: “I can’t wait for it.“

“Me neither.“

“The first game is in October already.“, you said, checking the schedule on your phone again.

Leilas face grinned at you from the small square in the corner of your screen: “I can’t wait to have you in Manchester.“

“And in December you’ll be playing in Barcelona.“, you added.

“Only in December?”, Leila asked suddenly.

You frowned, turning your attention back to your video call: “Uhm, what do you mean by that?“

Pausing, you watched the background of Leilas video passing by behind her as she kept walking with her front camera focused on herself. You knew where she was.

“Wait, are you at an airport?”

She beamed at you proudly: “Just landed. Do you want a flat white or a cappuccino?“

“No way…“, you said incredulously and then added: “Cappuccino please.“

“Will be delivered soon.“, Leila winked into the camera.

You shook your head, still in awe about the surprise: “I love you.“

“I know. Love you too.“

With that she ended the call. Silence filled your Barcelona apartment with the exception of your heart beating loudly against your chest. You still couldn’t believe that she would be here soon.

You had been together for a few years now and long-distance worked surprisingly well for the two of you but you couldn’t deny that you often found yourself missing her. You both had tight schedules so visiting each other was a rare luxury usually reserved for the winter and summer breaks.

A ringing on your doorbell announced what you hoped would be the arrival of Leila a little later. You opened the door with a grin, making space to let her in: “Come on in, gentlewoman.“

“Thank you. Here’s your coffee.“, she laughed, while balancing two steaming to-go cups and her duffle bag.

You gratefully took the cup she offered you and took a sip. “Oh, it’s still hot.“, you remarked with surprise.

Leila dropped her bag to the floor and gave you an “Oh please“ - look.

“Of course, I know what I’m doing.“, she laughed before pulling you in for an embrace.

You could feel yourself melt into her, breathing in her scent. You had missed her more than you had realized.

“For how long you will stay?”, the question passed your lips without thinking.

“A few days.”, Leila replied smiling.

Relief flooded you in an instant, a few days was more than you were used to getting since the defender made her move to Manchester.

“That’s amazing.”, you muttered happily.

“The club gave me a couple of days off because of the injury.”, she explained more seriously.

Your heart sank at your girlfriends mentioning the reason why the dark-haired woman was able to be in your arms in this exact moment.

“How are you, Leila?”, you asked her concerned.

“I’m okay, really.”, Leila answered, lifting your chin so you could see the truth reflected in her beautiful brown eyes.

“Can I do anything?”

“Well, you can spend some time with me.”, the defender suggested. For a second, she paused. With a mischievous smile playing on her lips your girlfriend continued. “I heard that should help.”

“Does that help?”, you questioned innocently after kissing the only slightly taller woman gently.

“I think it does.”, Leila admitted grinning amused.

“Good.”, you nodded satisfied with her answer.

“Come here, amor. I missed you.”, she demanded softly.

“I missed you too.”, you whispered a quiet confession.

“Yes, I know.”, the fellow footballer responded cheekily.

“Bienvenida a casa.”

“Nice place.”, Leila observed, really taking in your new flat this time.

“It’s, huh? You can see the sea from the balcony.”, you rambled on excitedly, eager to show her everything of your appartement which your lover normally only saw through the small screen during your video calls.

“Show me.”, she requested. No more assurance was needed afterwards.

“Isn’t the view gorgeous?”, you beamed at her once the two of you have stepped on to the balcony.

It was decorated with a few green plants, a small table accompanied by two chairs, but the most thrilling part of it was indeed the fantastic scenery. The sounds of the buzzing city were audible, but underneath all of that you could hear the waves crashing to the shore. While the sight of the sea always mesmerized you.

“Very.”, Leila giggled, she was unable to take her eyes off you. After all those years together, the dark-haired woman was still enchanted by you.

“You’re not even looking at it.”, you protested weakly.

“I see something better.”, the defender countered in a flirty tone.

“You do?”, you raised an eyebrow teasingly.

“I do.”, your girlfriend confirmed, she cupped your face with her long and delicate hands and left hungry kisses all over your face it gave you fuel to your own desires too. Oh, how you’ve missed her presence and her touches. It’s been too long without it, you thought to yourself.

With innocent eyes you blinked at her: “It’s getting kind of chilly, don’t you agree? Maybe we should go back inside.“

“I agree.“, Leila smiled knowingly like she could read your mind.

As you walked back inside, followed closely by your girlfriend, you grinned: “I need to show you the bedroom next.“

“Oh please do.“, she laughed while her hand slid down towards your butt, her finger hooking into the waistband of your jeans.

“Follow me.“, you laughed and led her to your bedroom.

You spend the night between the sheets but wide awake. It was a blur of lingering touches and soft kisses on tender skin. You only fell asleep in Leilas arms when the sun started to rise again.

You decided to let Leila sleep when you had to get up for training the next morning.

Yawning you sat in the dressing room while you got dressed for training. You were basically still half asleep when Alexia appeared next to you, pulling on your training shirt.

“Looks like boyfriend Leila is back in town.“, she smirked.

You blinked at her against the tiredness: “How… Oh.“

Your hand shot up to your neck, covering up the visible hickie that you had forgotten to cover up. You could feel the blood rush into your cheeks and cursed yourself for being so inattentive this morning.

“Show us!”, Patri demanded while pulling on your arm.

Sighing, you let go. She whistled impressed once she took a look at the bruise: “Wow, looks like she missed you a lot.“

“Yeah, no make up could conceal that.“, Mapi agreed, teasing.

You groaned, wishing you could just disappear from the face of the world: “Chicas, please.“

“Is she still in Barcelona?”, Alexia asked curiously.

“Yes, Leila is here for a few more days… She obviously wants to see you all too.“

Mapi laughed: “Do you think you can make her leave the bed for us?”

“Yes, if we’re going to her favourite restaurant.“, you shrugged.

Alexia nodded once: “We can arrange that.“

Before you knew it, your captain whipped out her phone and made a reservation for the whole team the following night.

With relief you left the pitch one and a half hours later and were surprised by Leila waiting for you at the exit. She was in an oversized hoodie that you knew too well with the hood up, hiding her face.

She scooped you up into a tight hug and whispered: “Did they notice…?”

“Of course they did!”, you replied, hitting her playfully on her arm.

“Sorry.“, she laughed.

You grimaced at her: “You don’t look sorry though.“

“I’m not. Next time I will leave it somewhere more inconspicuous.“, she promised with a grin that verged on dirty.

You bumped her shoulder with yours: “We’ll have dinner with the team tomorrow, I hope you can behave for that.“

“We’ll see about that.“, she shrugged.

“Leila!“

“Sorry.“, she laughed.

Shaking your head, you took her hand in yours and started walking.

This girl really couldn’t behave, not even in public. Maybe going back to your bedroom was the better idea.

[art]

Creator Spotlight: @chaaistheanswer

Hi everyone! I am Clara, but you can also call me chaa! I am a digital artist based in Auckland, New Zealand, with a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production. After graduating from uni, I moved out to pursue my art career and I’ve been a freelance digital artist ever since. I love concept art, especially character design! Creating characters influenced by my love for fantasy is what I live for. Thank you for stopping by, and I hope you enjoyed my art! And thank you, Tumblr, for this opportunity!

Check out our interview with Clara below!

Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?

I specialized in art in high school and have a bachelor’s degree in Creative Media Production from Massey University with an animation pathway. For our thesis film, which I worked on with several of my classmates, I took on the role of producer, art director, and concept artist. Our short film was featured in the Wellington Film Festival Terror-Fi in 2020. After graduating, I went on to become a freelance artist, but my goal is to work for the gaming industry as a character concept artist. Ever since I first picked up a pencil, I knew I wanted to become an artist!

Have you ever had an art block? If so, how did you overcome it?

Art block is quite common among artists, and unfortunately, I too have fallen prey to the affliction. I have several ways of overcoming art block: watching movies, playing games, reading, or going out for a drive with my sister. These are just a few things I love to do to help keep my creative juices flowing!

What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?

I tend to obsessively research about completely unrelated topics while I draw. I find learning new things helps improve my concept designs, especially in creating backgrounds for my characters.

Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?

Video games and anime were my biggest inspirations! Anything with a captivating story that’ll send me to the edge of my seat, and loveable characters. I’m particularly drawn to high and dark fantasy.

How has technology changed the way you approach your work?

Technology has made a huge impact on us artists over the last few years. I used to draw a lot on paper, but since getting a tablet, I find myself searching for the undo and redo buttons and even trying to zoom constantly while I draw on paper. I used to only draw for myself as well, but after posting my art online, I now have an audience to whom I can share my art. Because of this, I am able to earn a living doing what I love by creating illustrations for clients.

What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?

I am very proud of this recent commission I’ve done for a client! Fortunately, the piece turned out exactly how I wanted it to look, and my client was very happy with the result. I am also in the process of working on a Webtoon, which is going as smoothly as I hoped it would be before its re-release!

What advice would you give to younger you about making art that's personal or truthful to your own experiences?

The best advice I would give my younger self is to never hold back! Try not to think about the negatives of creating and sharing art that you believe in. Embrace vulnerability, and don’t be afraid to dig deep into your own emotions and experiences. Always explore, and don’t limit yourself to your own bubble. And most important of all, stay true to yourself! Stay true to your values and beliefs, and never compromise your own authenticity for the sake of pleasing others. Your art is a reflection of you as a person.

Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?

@yuumei-art has been an inspiration to me since my early Deviantart days. I admire how she uses her skills to focus on environmentalism and cyber activism. @nipuni is another inspiration of mine. I found her when I was in the process of recovering from Dragon Age Solavellan hell. I admire how she manages to capture faces well while also sticking to her style. Her paintings are so beautiful and very pleasing to my eyes!

Thanks for stopping by, Clara! If you haven't seen her Meet the Artist piece, be sure to check it out here. For more of Clara's work, follow her Tumblr, @chaaistheanswer!

[reidsexual]

Forgotten II

It’s taking everything in you not to focus on the latest news circling Gotham. But everywhere you turn, there it is.

“Just in: Nightwing returns!”

“Nightwing reportedly seen battling against infamous KGBeast!”

“Peacemaker of the Night strikes back!”

So here you were - grabbing some coffee despite the late hour and the chilling breeze that accompanied it. You knew Dick wouldn’t approve, as Bludhaven wasn’t exactly known for its harmless background.

But who cares? He wasn’t here now.

Truth be told, you wanted to see Dick. Scratch that, that was an understatement. You were aching to see him.

But the questionability of the entire situation much outweighed that of your desire to speak to him again. How much of his life does he remember? Does he even want to see you? What would you say to him?

You take a sip of your coffee to calm your thoughts, the glow of the streetlights only enhancing the posters stuck on the walls. All of which were about Nightwing’s latest spectacle with KGBeast in Bludhaven.

You don’t even catch yourself staring until you feel your phone vibrate against your pocket. You peel your attention away from all the candid shots and bold words to look at the caller.

It’s Donna.

You pick up, holding the phone to your ear while simultaneously walking down the road. “Donna?” You speak her name, wondering to yourself why she’s calling out of the blue.

“Have you visited Dick?” She asks, cutting to the chase. You sigh dramatically, seeing your breath hang around in the air from the coolness of the weather.

“No.” Replying simply. It’s probably better to keep your words short and simple.

“No? Or not yet?” Garth butts in, taking you by surprise. You slap a hand on your forehead. Of course Garth is listening in.

“Garth.” Donna warns, and you can practically feel the seriousness of the stare she shoots at him.

“We’re not rushing you. Take as much time as you need to adjust. It can’t possibly be easy, trust me, I know.” Your friend reassures you, warming your heart quite a bit. At times like this, you were grateful to have a friend who understood you so well.

“I know. I know.” It’s been hard for you to focus on how you felt, especially since you didn’t want to give much thought to how devastated you were when Dick lost his memories.

You should be jumping with joy, but you feel so numb. So empty. And what scares you is the fact that you don’t know where it’s coming from.

“You still there?” Donna checks in after a long pause, finding your silence quite unnerving.

“Thank you for checking in, Donna. Garth too.” And with that, you hang up the phone. You toss your unfinished coffee into the nearest trash bin and put your head in your hands. You don’t even like coffee.

You almost curse out loud when you see the words written in spray paint right above the bin. “Bludhaven is safe again! Long live, Nightwing!” It reads, with a drawing of his symbol right next to it.

Your eyes slide to the picture pasted below, barely handing on with a measly piece of tape. Your eyes mist over, a shot of Dick as Nightwing staring back at you.

“Handsome guy.” A familiar voice says, and you can feel your body immediately stiffen up. You can’t turn around. You shouldn’t. But your emotions get the better of you.

Your gaze shifts sideways and there he is. Dick Grayson. Not Ric or Nightwing.

“Dick?” You whisper uncertainly. He puts his hands up sarcastically, though his gaze on you remains intent and soft. “Caught me.”

The back of your eyes prickle and you can feel your throat start to close up. But you can’t cry in front of him - not when this is his first time seeing you after everything.

“How much do you remember?” You don’t know if you can even trust yourself to speak, with how foggy your mind is and how much effort it takes you to even utter a syllable in his presence.

“I remember enough.” He takes a step forward, and you don’t even notice that you take a step back before you see the distraught look on his face.

“You didn’t come to visit me.” His words carry no malice, no hint of accusation. Just plain stating. But your guilt still eats at you either way.

Your face falls, too ashamed to look into his eyes in fear that you might get sucked into them. “I didn’t know how to react.” You say truthfully.

“That’s fair.” Dick nods his head before nodding over to the trash can. “What’s not fair is wasting a perfectly good cup of coffee.”

You know he’s only trying to lighten up the situation, but it only makes you realize that he’s been watching you for longer than he’s been speaking.

“Dick, I just need to get my mind right. Set my thoughts straight.” You start carefully, the near-icy weather making you feel numb and frozen up. Or was it Dick himself?

“I let you slip away from me once. I will not let it happen again.” Before you realize it, you two are a step apart from each other. Your breathings are in sync, and you realize that he’s probably as nervous as you are right now.

“That wasn’t your fault.” You shake your head, your shoes being the only thing you can afford to look at for now.

“Then why are you acting so distant?” He sounds pained, and you know that if you look straight at him - you’ll be as vulnerable as he sounds now.

“A lot of things have happened, Dick. You can’t expect to just regain your memories and have everything work out. It doesn’t work like that.” You know you could be acting quite unfair right now, he’s just trying to make amends. But even ice melts when not taken care of properly.

“Can you look at me?”

You shake your head.

Dick gently tips your chin up, slowly enough to let you know that you can push his touch away. But you don’t.

He’s staring at you now, and you can see the faint rims of red in the corner of his eyes. He’s been crying. You can only hope it’s not noticeable on you either.

“I know you’re hurting. And you don’t deserve that. You deserve to be loved for - and I swear to you, I will make up for all I’ve missed. I can promise you that much.” His voice is so soft, his breath brushing against your lips in a way that threatens bringing back old memories.

It takes a lot of willpower for you to not let his words get to you. So you ask a question you know he’s going to avoid. “And what of Bea?”

He looks like you’ve taken him off guard, his gaze faltering. “I broke up with her.” He discloses, self loathing oozing in his words.

“Why?”

“To protect her from the lifestyle I have. She-she shouldn’t have to-”

“Handle it?” You finish for him, unable to hide your frustration. He doesn’t answer, looking at you like he wants to explain something in a way he doesn’t quite know how.

You grab his wrist and push his hand off your chin. Closing your eyes for a moment, you let yourself speak. Really speak.

“Dick, I love you. I’ve known you since we were kids, do you really think I’m capable of despising you? The affection I have for you will never leave my soul until I’m off this earth.” You ramble, months of holding in your tongue coming to a halt.

“So yes, when you couldn’t remember me or any of us, it hurt! I had to pick myself up, start fresh, throw my emotions on the backseat.” Dick looks like he’s about to say something, but he closes his mouth again to let you speak.

“I’m not blaming you for KGBeast’s actions. And I can’t express how much I want his head on a platter for what he did to you. But did you really think nothing would change between us? It’s unfair.”

You don’t even notice that you’re crying until you feel Dick’s hands on both sides of your face, rubbing your tears away as gently as he can with his thumbs.

The moonlight enhances his features, you think. Giving a soft glow to his facial structure, all the way down to the jawline you would press soft kisses to every morning.

“And you fall in love with this beautiful girl. Who makes you happy, even when you’re not you. You got yourself the life you deserved, and you threw it all away!” You know you’re shouting now, and you pound your fists against his chest.

You know even the strongest of your strikes can’t hurt him, which only frustrates you to no end. And the question rises - why do you want to hurt him?

“Why do you do this to yourself?” You cry out, sobbing in between words. “Why don’t you allow yourself to be happy, dammit, Dick!”

Dick does nothing to stop your punches against his chest, instead circling his arms around your figure and bringing you in closer to him.

You’ve missed this. You missed the feeling of him pulling you in, your bodies fitting together perfectly. But not under these circumstances.

Eventually, your punches slow down, weaken. You break into tears, frenzied arguments turning into broken noises and gasps of air as Dick holds you close. He makes sure you don’t fall to the ground, keeping you standing when you don’t have enough strength to do it for yourself.

Your tears make a wet patch on his shirt and he rests his chin on the top of your head, running his fingers down your hair the way he used to. “I know, baby, I know.” He says soothingly, even if the sight of you like this makes him feel like crumbling to the ground too.

“I’m sorry.” He repeats several times, and you are too. You’re sorry for the future you guys could’ve had together. You’re sorry for the missed time. You’re sorry for letting him go.

[frostbitedoesstuff]

I wanted to make this post not to address anyone in particular, but just for the sake of getting it off my mind.

I absolutely hate it when people in the Honkai fandom say that Welt is a terrible father and/or abandoned his family. The truth is, Welt loves his family so, so much, and still cares about them deeply even though he’s far away. There is clear and irrefutable evidence of this.

When you talk to Welt on the Express, you have the option to ask him about his friends. This is his response.

Here, he acknowledges that there are people waiting for him back home, and says that at some point prior to the game’s events, he asked Herta to send a signal to his home in hopes of being able to tell his family that he’s safe, and perhaps even tell them of his whereabouts (though that’s just an assumption on my end.)

When the Express is about to leave for the Xianzhou Loufu, if you talk to Welt, you can ask him what planet he would like to go to. This is his response.

Notice how his immediate answer to where he wants to go is home, as well as the word he uses to describe the fact that he cannot do so: sadly. He really could have said anywhere else, especially because he likely knew that probably wasn’t what the Trailblazer meant when they asked that question, but no. He answers honestly, and his honest answer is that he wants to go home.

This next section will have spoilers for the Penacony quest line, so proceed with caution.

For this next example, we’ll need some background information. What exactly is Ena’s Dream? Well, to explain in simple terms, Ena’s Dream is an escapist dream state meant to simulate what someone would view to be an ideal reality. The specifics of the dream varies from person to person, because each person has different desires, different ideals, different wants, different needs. But Ena’s Dream is meant to simulate what the individual TRULY desires, no matter how unrealistic or outlandish it may be.

In 2.3, if you talk to Welt, you can ask him what he saw in Ena’s Dream. This is his response.

In Ena’s dream, he goes home and reunites with his family. Do you understand what that means?

What Welt truly desires, more than anything else, is to find a way back home. What he saw in Ena’s Dream is blatant proof.

Another thing I’d like to draw attention to is how he says that realizing it was a dream was a “bitter truth.” The fact that he still had the Astral Express wasn’t enough for him to describe it as “bittersweet.” It was just bitter.

(No more Penacony spoilers from here on out)

Speaking of the Astral Express, I’d like to bring up something regarding not only Welt’s relationship with them, but the entirety of Star Rail’s world as a whole.

Something about Welt’s character that I really love is his ability to embrace the world around him and the people in it, DESPITE the fact that he also misses his home.

He’s engrossed himself deeply in the history and general ins and outs of Star Rail’s universe, to the point where whenever the Trailblazer finds something they don’t recognize, they ask Welt, and he can always provide a detailed answer.

Additionally, Welt has formed a strong familial relationship with the members of the Astral Express, and has a strong desire to keep them safe. For example, during the Jarilo-VI quest line, Welt expresses a clear desire to intervene when he sees the intensity of the situation Trailblazer, March, and Dan Heng are in, and when they return, Welt outright admits that there were more than a few times where he felt legitimate distress, making an off handed comment about having to “stop worrying so much.”

This is something that I feel like some people don’t understand; Welt can love this world and his home world simultaneously, and he does. Just because he isn’t constantly stressing out about going home and refusing to make connections out of fear of getting attached doesn’t mean that he isn’t thinking about his home or doesn’t want to find a way to go back.

I believe that the solution Welt wants is to have the best of both worlds, not to completely abandon one for the other. This is why his desired reality of finding a way home and him hoping that his journey with the Astral Express never ends can exist side by side. He truly does want both, and in the ideal ending to his story, he should be able to have both (at least in my opinion.)

I’ve never even played HI3, but I know of Welt’s lore and he is my favorite character in HSR, so I hate it when people mischaracterize him, ESPECIALLY when it comes to this. I hope that by writing this character analysis, this will help people understand him better, and show the people that think he doesn’t love his family that they are blatantly wrong. If you know someone who thinks that, please consider showing them this post.

(One last thing! If you read this entire analysis, then clearly you must like Star Rail. If you’re looking for more content, I’d like to make you aware that as of posting this, I have a Sampard and Astral Express chatfic, as well as a blog where I post Star Rail fanart (frostbitedoesfanart)! Please check them out if you have the time, and thanks for listening to me ramble <3)

[saturnville]

bite, l. hamilton

pairing: he (lewis hamilton) x black best friend oc (anvika dawson) content: in which two friends cross a line people have been waiting for them to cross. warning: 18+ content song: bite by njzoma an: y'all know I don't write smut fr, so ntm. but I hope y'all enjoy it. wc: 2,498 tags: the girlies who were hyping me up to post this @boujiestpoet @mauvecherie-writes @saintslewis @greedyjudge2 @vile-harlot @emjayewrites

“Just because we’re attracted to one another doesn’t mean we need to sleep together. I’m off that. Plus, we’re friends.”

Anvika prided herself on being a woman of self-control and discipline. Though it did not come easy, years of abstinence grew dreary and at times, very lonely, her hard work was not something she was willing to risk. Her decision to step into abstinence wasn’t one she took lightly, nor was it one that she planned, but once Anvika began the journey of healing from a heartbreak, intimacy with another man wasn’t the priority. Though that had been over four years ago and she was well over the situation, she could admit that while it was difficult to maintain her self-control, not having to worry about anyone’s snot-nosed son brought more peace than she could ever imagine. 

“Even more of a reason to let it happen. Everything happens better when you have a solid foundation first. Everybody thinks you two are together anyways. He truly cares for you, in more ways than one.” 

Anvika hummed and rolled her eyes as she brought the slender champagne fluke to her full lips. The liquid went smooth down her throat. She shrugged. “Then let them think that. Lewis is a good man, a good and attractive man, but…”

Her friend, Onyx, sighed and downed her drink with a wave of her hand. “I don’t know how you do it! I would’ve lost my mind by now. I commend you.” Onyx bowed playfully which pulled a light laugh from Anvika. Though she was joking, she couldn’t help but sense the truth behind her words. 

Though swearing off men and intimacy had become a more common practice among women, many people found it taboo and unrealistic. She soon began to ponder--what if she’d never find anyone that could give her what she wanted because of how she chose to navigate her dating life? She shook it off internally. That would be a problem, but none that would be hers. 

Before she got the chance to respond, her phone rang against the glass table that held their expensive lunch on it’s back. LH flashed across the screen. She smiled softly which caught the attention of Onyx, who gave a teasing smirk. For someone who was insistant on keeping a strong boundary between herself and her closest friend, she surely smiled like a fool whenever he called. 

“I told you I have a lunch date with Onyx today,” she reminded the racer lowly, using her index finger to draw doodles in the condensation her water glass sweat off on the table. “Everything alright?” 

“Everything’s fine, angel,” he spoke smoothly. “Just wanted to make sure you were still wanting to join me for the event on Friday.” Anvika hummed and nodded as though he could see her. He was attending a gala in London and of course, offered his plus-one to Anvika, as he had done since their friendship had begun years prior. What was his, was hers, including access to rooms and events that would grant her opportunities to further her career as a branding and marketing consultant. 

“Yes,” she replied excitedly. “I still haven’t found a dress. What color are you wearing?”

There was shuffling in the background before he spoke again. “Blue. Don’t worry about it,  I’ll handle it.” Her heart fluttered. “Enjoy your lunch. Tell Onyx I said hello and call me later, alright?” 

Anvika’s teeth trapped her bottom lip. “Alright. Talk soon.” 

“Bye, love.” 

Anvika turned her phone on its face and looked up, catching Onyx’s playful eyes. Her thick eyebrow touched her forehead. “Friends, right?” Anvika gave her a look. Onyx raised her hands in defense, “My bad, my bad.” 

-

Lewis Hamilton was a gentleman. Sure, this was universal knowledge, but something about him being gentlemanly with her made her heart flutter and her stomach clench with desire. And it almost made her question Onyx’s point, “he truly cares for you; in more ways than one.” It’d typically be something she’d deny, but as she stood in front of the mirror with her hair done by a hairstylist he arranged to come, her nails done by a nail technician he’d flown out, and a dress he arranged to be custom-made to suit her body, how could she deny it any longer? 

“Don’t think too deeply into it,” she scolded herself, slipping out of her robe. She walked toward her dress, pulled it off the hanger, and carefully slipped into it. “You’re friends. Close friends who care for one another. That’s it, that’s all.” 

They met at the paddock six years prior. She was invited to her first Formula One race through her consultant agency, which took her team on an all-expense paid trip for their hard work. She wasn’t aware of Formula One, just of familiar names. Then, at the end of the match, she had the chance to put a face to the infamous name of Lewis Hamilton. 

“You raced well,” Anvika noted, taking in the slightly disheveled appearance of the raceman. “I’ve never been to a Formula One race; good job on giving me a reason to come back one day.” 

The man’s eyebrow raised in interest. He crossed his arms over his chest, his muscular build on display. “Is that so?”

Anvika nodded. 

“We can make that happen whenever you want.” 

It was Anvika’s turn to raise an eyebrow. A smirk played on her lips. “Is that so? Tryna be my friend, Lewis?” 

He shrugged his shoulders. Friends wasn’t too bad. Anything to get to know her. “Any man would be a fool to refuse that opportunity, Anvika.”

That marked the beginning of an inseparable union.

Anvika continued to mumble and grumble, doing whatever she could to keep her mind eased. Her self-conversations were halted by a knock on her door. Lewis. “Coming!” Holding her dress to her chest. She turned the doorknob, and the familiar scent of his cologne filled her nose. “Are you…oh. Oh.”

Closing the door behind him, Lewis’ eyes were trained on her, the most beautiful woman he’d laid eyes on. The dress, complementary to his suit, was perfectly designed and tailored to her. She was a fan of long-sleeved dresses, so that’s what she got. It was constructed with a heavy, luxurious velvet material and it hugged every riff, edge, and curve on her body. The neckline showed the swell of her breasts and her beautiful collarbone. The mermaid-like tail further accentuated her shape. 

Her hair was parted to the side and curled to perfection. The makeup complimented her features--thick eyebrows, full lips, and a round nose. And her scent, goodness, it suffocated him. The jasmine and almond notes filled his nostrils and he wanted to nuzzle his face in her neck and inhale like she was the air he needed to breathe. 

“You look beautiful,” Lewis managed to speak. His voice was so low that she almost didn’t hear his compliment. With a bashful smile, she thanked him and led him to her room where she wandered toward the bathroom, which had a series of jewels across the counter. “Help me pick a necklace?” 

Anvika turned to face the jewelry and fought hard to ignore the heat that radiated from Lewis’ body as he moved to stand behind her. From over her shoulder, his eyes followed the line of jewels the stylists brought. His eyes landed on a silver necklace; a thin chain with a multi-carat teardrop diamond. “This one.” 

Lewis took the necklace in his hands and placed it around her neck. Anvika lifted her hair to grant him easy access and shivered as his cool fingertips brushed against her skin. She inhaled deeply. “Stunning.” His breath was warm against her neck. They locked eyes in the mirror ahead of them. The tension was thick. Suffocating. His brown eyes, usually so full of love and warmth, were filled with something she couldn’t quite identify, but it made her body heat like wildfire. 

“I’m ready,” she announced, careful not to let her voice waver. She turned, purposefully ignoring the groan he released when she brushed against him. Her lips quivered as she tried to give a steady smile. What the hell was happening between them? Anvika placed her hands on his chest and soothed the non-existent wrinkles on his suit jacket. He was so handsome. “You look great, darling.” 

“Thank you…” his words came out as a whisper. He was too distracted by her. Six years of friendship and what he felt from the time he met her at the paddock all those years ago had reached a breaking point. He’d boiled over. 

Anvika tried to smile as she pressed a kiss against his cheek, but with how he reacted, her lips landed at the corner of his lips. She took a step back. “Let’s get ready to go, yeah?” 

Lewis swallowed thickly. He held his arm out for her, which she grabbed instinctively, and together, they were out the door with a million and one thoughts swimming between them. 

-

“And that beauty you’ve brought?” an older man questioned Lewis, who had his eyes on Anvika as she danced through the siloes of people in the room. The gala was nothing short of a popularity function, a random event on a random weekend for the host to flaunt their money and connections, Truthfully, his desire to attend dwindled once he saw her in that dress. She was the only thing on his mind. 

“Anvika Dawson,” Lewis said, nodding in her direction. “One of the best branding and marketing consultants in the industry. She’s amazing at everything she does. You’ve got a business, don’t you?” And that’s why he was a good friend, Anvika noted as she began to walk over, hearing him advocate for her in front of the man. 

“You flatter me,” she said with a smile as she took a position under Lewis’ arm, which slid around her waist. “Anvika Dawson, nice to meet you.” 

The older man, who had went by the nam Eli, shook her hand firmly and nodded in interest. “Well, pardon me, but the two of you would make a wonderful couple.” The young adult chuckled lightly; the comment was nothing new to them, but it seemed to bring them both discomfort given the fact that they had a very intimate moment just an hour before their arrival. Before Lewis could speak up, Anvika thanked the man sweetly then they were whisked in another direction. 

They were joined together at the hip for the remainder of the evening. And, on the rare occasion that they were apart, they stole glances from across the room like teenagers in a romantic sitcom. Soon, the event wrapped up and they were in the backseat of the car, sitting in a thick silence. 

Anvika sat at the right of the car, her knees turned inward and her legs crossed. With every bump in the road and swerve of the car, the tip of her heel brushed against Lewis’ leg. His breath hitched. She said nothing. 

The car came to an abrupt stop and the doors were opened for them. Before her foot could touch the ground, Lewis’ hand was awaiting. “Thank you,” Anvika said softly, and allowed him to guide her into the hotel. 

He still hadn’t said much. The walk to the elevator was quiet, yet, he hadn’t let go of her hand. What was he thinking about? If it was the sudden shift in their interactions, it didn’t go unnoticed by her either. 

The elevator doors peeled open and Lewis guided her in. He pressed the button, 10, that would send them to the floor their rooms were on. The elevator ride seemed slow as each ding indicated they’d entered another floor. 

Anvika cleared her throat and decided to speak up, “I enjoyed tonight. And again, you looked great. I love blue on you.” 

He couldn’t remember what happened between her compliment, her back against the elevator wall, and his lips on hers.  The only thing that forced him to key in was her hands pressing against his abdomen and his name falling from her lips. “Lewis…” What he’d heard time and time again in his dreams had finally become a reality. His stomach churned; could he get her to say it again? “What are you…” She cut herself off when she fell victim to the wonderful feeling of his lips against her jaw. 

“I just…” Lewis settled his face in her neck. “One night, Vi. Let me have one night with you…” Her heart pounded in her ears. What the hell was happening? 

“Lewis…” Her hand slipped and fell just above his belt. She extended her arm just slightly. “We can’t do this. I-I don’t want to mess up our friendship and you know I’m not going all the way with anyone--” 

Lewis hummed. His eyes sat low as he looked at her. She looked completely worn out as if he’d done to her what he truly wanted. Her forehead glistened with sweat, her lipstick was smeared, and her chest heaved. “Nothing will change for the worse, angel. And I don’t want to go there with you, just want to make you feel good…always have.” His left arm circled around her waist and his large hand palmed her backside. She whimpered. “Can I?” 

“Someone might see...” 

He ignored her. “Can I make you feel good?” His tone was stern as he repeated his question. Suddenly, the gala was out of her mind and the only thing that clouded her thoughts was him. Him and him only. Lewis Hamilton had infiltrated her mind and she finally stopped fighting it. 

The elevator dinged. “Yes…” 

-

“Should I…?” her hands reached for the necklace that shone beneath the dim lights of the hotel suite. Lewis shook his head and peeled his jacket off his shoulders, revealing a crisp white wife beater. He shed that too. Anvika’s breath hitched. “Keep it on. Lay back for me, angel.” 

Anvika looked like an angel surrounded by the comforter. Her undergarments were long discarded, save for her underwear which he kept in the pocket of his pants. The pure white of the sheets were a stark contrast to the richness of her complexion. Her hair was sprawled against the pillow with a few strands covering her face lazily. The look on her face was one of comfort, relief in one way or another. 

She welcomed Lewis’ body between her legs as he crawled on the bed and his lips against hers as he hovered above her. For the first time that night, Anvika’s hands didn’t tremble when she touched him. She welcomed the feeling of every ridge of muscle, every raised scar, and every mature tattoo. 

Their hands moved frantically over each other’s body, and it felt amazing. She hadn’t realized how touch deprived she was until she heard his chuckle in her ear. Her face warmed. She felt like a teenager. “It’s okay…” his lips ghosted against the shell of her ear. “Make all the noise you want.” 

Anvika didn’t respond--her mouth wouldn’t allow her to. As Lewis moved down her body, she sat on her elbows, watching and waiting. God, he was so handsome like this. His head was dipped between her thighs and his tattooed glistened under the dim lights. Slowly, he lips created an intentional trail from her belly down to the treasure just centimeters away from his mouth. 

Her fingers clawed at the bedsheets as the anticipation rose. She was becoming impatient. He was giving attention to every other place except where he wanted her. She huffed. “Lewis…” 

He hummed, clearly unbothered by her frustration. He glanced at her, “Yes?” She whimpered. “Talk to me.” He was amused, very amused. She was desperate for him. It was evident by the way her arousal seeped onto the bed. He gathered some on his fingers, using it as a lubricant as he finally began to touch her. 

Anvika gasped. His movements were slow and meticulated but they were enough to set her over the edge. He brought his lips to hers again, which she accepted sloppily. Her jaw fell slack as he continued to work her to her first release of the night. It came quickly, quicker than she would have liked. When his fingers hit that spot within her, her hips jerked and she squeaked his name. 

Lewis chuckled, “That’s it?” He prodded that spot again. “Right there?” Anvika nodded. He removed his fingers. She groaned in frustration, “Lewis, please!”

“Please what?” He brought his fingers to his lips and moaned at the taste of her on his tongue. If this was just the beginning, he couldn’t imagine how mad he’d go in the coming moments. “Tell me what you want.”

She clocked it. He wanted her to beg. Anvika wasn’t the begging type. She may have been far removed from having sex, but she always got her way, especially with Lewis. Her hands trailed down the muscular planes of his stomach. Her fingers hooked in his belt and pulled him forward. Her fingers curled around his neck and her nails toyed with the faded hair there. She brought her smeared lips to his ear, her tongue dancing against the shell of it. He shudder. “I want you to make my legs shake and rock my world. Can you do that, Lewis?” 

Her voice. The way her voice dropped in octave but increased in seduction had his head spinning. There were a few moments of silence as he fought hard to gather himself and the more she spurred him on, the most difficult it became. But then, she heard it, “Yes…”

-

“Right there, right there! Oh my…” He was a lover of music. Being in a studio, creating melodies to go with lyrics, was his favorite pastime. But this took the cake. She created her a song better than he could have ever imagined, and was it addicting. 

Her moans, cries, and screams were melodic and his name was the only lyric she knew. He hated repetition in music, but loved hearing hers. So addicting. So well created. So beautiful. 

Her legs trembled around his head and her hands were buried in his braids. He fought the urge to bend her over when she whispered out the faintest, “Baby, please…” She’d used terms of endearment before, but in this context, it was different. “I’m close!”

Her body, damp with sweat and covered in bruises created by his mouth, jumped and jolted as she grew closer to her peak. Lewis sat up, replacing his tongue with his highly skilled fingers. He used his arm to stabilize his body as he hovered over her. What a sight.

Her hair was completely sweated out, pooped and frizzy at the roots. Her makeup stained the pillows and her lips were swollen from her biting and his intense kisses. Her neck was dark with love bites. Her eyelids were hooded but he could see the fire behind her eyes. If only he could capture her and keep the picture in his pocket forever. 

“Doing so well for me,” he whispered, kissing against her cheek and jaw. His fingers made quick work of the huddle of nerves between her legs. “Taking it like a good girl.” Her moans grew louder, higher in pitch, and full of air. It was becoming too much—her hands pushed against his arm, trying to run. “Don’t run now. Isn’t this what you wanted?” 

“Lewis, I’m—“ she cut herself off with a high pitched scream that seemed to ring on forever. Lewis chuckled lightly and worked her through her orgasm. “That’s it, baby.” Her body shook as she tried to come down calmly.

He spent a few minutes between her legs, caressing her gently as an act of comfort. Her loud noises had diminished to soft whimpers as she came down from cloud nine. When she finally opened her eyes again, he asked, “You okay?” 

She was better than okay. Though they didn’t cross all the lines, Anvika had gotten the best orgasm she’d received in her life from a man’s mouth and hands. She’d deal with the consequences later, but in that moment, she felt amazing. 

She nodded and smiled lazily. “I’m okay. Are you…do you want me to…?” Her eyes fell to the evident bulge that strained against his pants. He shook his head.

“I’m okay. Let’s get you cleaned up…”

-

What was supposed to be a shower to clean her up resulted in her on her knees giving him the most intense release he’d experienced in months. It left him panting, shaking, and whimpering like it was his first time all over again. 

Once again, she looked angelic with her now curly hair flat against her back and big brown eyes staring at him as she worked him like the expert she was. He came in her with with a groan, his fingers in her hair. She stood to her feet, smiling innocently as she showed him there was no remnant of him left in her mouth. 

“You’re nasty,” he announced, grabbing her jaw to place a sloppy kids on her lips. 

“Mhmmm, just the way I like it.” 

They migrated to her bed shortly after, laying together in a comfortable silence. Anvika’s head was against his bare chest and herfingers traced the tattoos on his body. Lewis’ arm was around her waist and his hand massaged her plump bottom. 

They were tired, exhausted even. But, they fought sleep like children, internally afraid of what the morning would bring. All actions had consequences whether good or bad. It was a mutual hope that what they’d done wouldn’t bring on the latter. 

“Lewis?” Anvika called after some time. 

“Yes, angel?” 

“Are we gonna be okay?” Her voice trembled slightly. They’d crossed a line--a big one. She had wobbled on her boundaries. There was a lot to discuss and a lot to consider. It was an amazing experience, she couldn’t lie, but her biggest fear was that she’d lose him as an important person in her life if reality didn’t set in the way they intended. 

Lewis gave her a squeeze and brought his lips to her forehead. Sensing her worry, he reassured, “We’ll always be okay.” And she believed it.

[lovelyjj]

maybe a mix of “i’m just afraid” and “tell me the truth”? 🫶

avoidance

jj maybank x reader

wc: 1.4k

a/n: I lowkey hate this.

You and JJ were the best of friends. You did everything together. He was your person you told everything to. He was your partner in crime. There were no secrets between the two of you.

You and JJ were on the couch that was on John B’s porch, enjoying the rain. The rain was blanketing the outer banks in water, soaking the grass and trees.

“I love the rain,” you stated.

“Really why?” JJ asked.

“I don’t know it makes me feel less alone, like the sky is crying with me.”

“That’s a really good reason,” JJ replied.

“Thanks,” you smiled.

“You want to dance?” JJ asked with a goofy grin on his face.

“In the rain?” You questioned surprised.

“In the rain,” JJ confirmed.

“Ok.”

JJ got up and reached his hand out for you to take, which you gladly accepted. The two of you went out on the grass and JJ held onto one hand. Then he put one hand on your waist and you put the hand not holding his, on his shoulder.

You guys danced and he spun you around and you got soaking wet. You were having a lot of fun though. You were having a blast and so was JJ.

When you were finished JJ ushered you inside as you giggled.

You both changed into dry clothes and afterwards JJ had an idea.

“Let’s make some hot chocolate,” JJ announced.

“Yes please,” you answered.

JJ whipped up two mugs of cocoa and you both sipped yours quietly.

“Tastes good,” you whispered.

“Wanna watch a movie?” you asked JJ.

“Sure,” JJ replied.

You both settled into John B’s living room and put on spider-man. You ended up falling asleep on the pullout couch.

——————

A couple days later you were all going out on the boat. The day was bright and sunny perfect for going out on the water.

JJ was looking at you in your bikini top. He knew he shouldn’t be looking at his best friend like that but he couldn’t help it. You looked hot and JJ could hardly look away from your chest.

You were oblivious to JJ’s ogling. You were happy to be on the boat with your friends.

“I can’t believe the weather is so nice,” you spoke.

“Yeah it’s perfect,” Pope responded.

“I thought it would be windy out here on the water,” JJ said removing his attention from your breasts.

“Hope we can catch some fish,” John B announced.

“Should be able to,” JJ commented.

While the boys were fishing, you Kiara and Sarah were on your phones. You were looking through your photos and you noticed how many you had of you and JJ.

There was one of you two at the beach with the waves in the background and a pretty sunset.

“Can I post this J?” you asked.

“Let me see it.”

You handed your phone to JJ and he took it. He scanned the image and smiled a genuine smile.

“Yeah that’s a good one. Go ahead fire away.”

You gave him a smile and decided to post the picture.

After a while you got a few comments. One was from Sarah that said, “Goals.”

You ignored it because you didn’t want to draw attention to it. The last thing you needed was people assuming your in a relationship with JJ cause your not. Your just friends and that’s all you ever will be.

—————

You were spending more and more time with JJ. Sometimes with the other pogues and sometimes just the two of you.

You were starting to catch feelings for him. You didn’t know how or why but being around him brought out the best in you. You started to fall in love with your best friend. You were scared you’ve never felt this way before. And what if he doesn’t love you back.

You decided to go to Kiara and ask for her help. She was working at the wreck, so you made your way over there.

“Hey Kie, I need your help,” you hesitated.

“Yeah sure y/n whatever you need,” Kiara replied.

“Here let’s sit down,” Kiara said as she directed you to a small table by the window.

You sat across from her and she gave you a kind smile with kind eyes.

“What’s up,” Kiara started.

“Well um I’ve sorta had these feelings for a certain someone and I’m not sure what to do about it. I just know I don’t want to tell them,” you began.

“Why don’t you want to tell them,” Kiara asked.

“I’m just afraid,” you bit your lip.

“What do you have to be afraid of?”

“Well first of all he could not feel the same way. He could reject me. He could laugh in my face. The list goes on,” you threw your hands up in the air.

“JJ wouldn’t do that,” Kiara raised a brow.

“How do you know it’s JJ?” You asked.

“Oh come on, who else would it be.”

“You’ve got a point.” you laughed.

“Speak of the devil,” Kiara whispered as you turned to the sound of the door opening.

JJ sauntered in to the wreck, Pope, John B and Sarah following suit.

“The gangs all here,” Kiara exclaimed.

“I need to go,” you whispered to Kiara.

“What why?”

“I just need to, ok!”

You slipped out the back door leaving the rest of the crew utterly confused.

—————

You have been avoiding JJ. It’s not that you wanted to, you hated the distance between you and not seeing him but you didn’t know how to act around him anymore.

You were getting worried because you thought JJ was on to you. Now JJ was getting worried because he hasn’t seen you in a while. He figured that you were mad at him. He hated it.

When the pogues would hang out all together you would not be there. You would miss the activities they had planned.

It was getting harder and harder hiding your feelings from JJ. You would always blush or your heart would beat really fast. So your only option you decided was to stop hanging out with him.

JJ was confused because of your absence. He was going to get to the bottom of this. He was determined.

He assumed you would be at your house. So that’s where he showed up. He knocked on your door a few times and after a few minutes you came to the door. You were shocked to see JJ standing there.

You wanted to run back to your room and hide. You were embarrassed by your actions. Just all of a sudden ghosting him. He didn’t deserve that.

“Hey um so I miss you. A lot. And I think we need to talk,” JJ scratched the back of his neck.

“Sure.”

You stepped outside and closed the door behind you.

“I need to know why your avoiding me,” JJ insisted.

“I’m not avoiding you.”

“y/n.”

“Ok ok I’ve been avoiding you because I didn’t want to see you.” You nervously crossed your arms and looked down.

JJ wasn’t buying it. “No. Tell me the truth.”

As you looked into JJ’s pleading blue eyes you felt your stomach flip. You couldn’t lie to him even if you tried.

“Fine. You want the truth? The truth is I’m in love with you. And I don’t know how to act around you anymore. I assumed you didn’t feel the same way so to save myself the rejection, I avoided you.”

“You thought I wouldn’t feel the same way?” JJ questioned.

“I’ve been in love with you for years,” JJ confessed.

“Really?”

JJ nodded his head.

“I can’t believe you did all that.” JJ said surprised.

You took a step closer to JJ and he took your face in his hands.

“Come here,” JJ whined.

You didn’t need to be asked twice. You leaned in and JJ placed lips on yours. Instantly you felt electrifying sparks shoot trough you. Your stomach erupted with butterflies. The kiss was gentle and delicate. JJ was excited and you were giddy.

Your lips were crushing together and moving against each other. JJ was feeling warm all over. Your hands were resting on JJ’s shoulders. One of JJ’s hand rested on your jaw and one hand snaked lower to your butt squeezing lightly. This caused you to gasp, allowing JJ’s tongue to slide into your mouth.

After making out you pulled away breathless. You wore a big smile and JJ laughed.

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” JJ broke the silence.

“I’ve missed you too,” you responded.

“Will you be mine?” JJ asked.

“Yes, I’ll be yours,” you exclaimed.

JJ picked you up and spun you around, your laughter mixing together to create a sense of harmony and happiness. Since you and JJ were best of friends your romantic relationship will only flourish because you loved each other wholeheartedly.

[holylulusworld]

Indecent Proposal (23)

Summary: Your boyfriend wants to be part of their empire. You are the pawn he’s willing to sacrifice.

Pairing: Mobster!Stucky x fem!Reader

Characters: M'Baku

Warnings: established Stucky, caring mobsters, pregnant reader, polyamory, fluff, angst, implied character’s death, gore (blood, multiple stabbing), implied torture

Indecent Proposal (22)

Indecent Proposal masterlist

Please heed the warnings for this part!

“What do think, Alpine? Will your daddies come back soon? It’s been a few hours now,” you press the white furball to your chest. You nuzzle the cat’s head and sigh. “You’re very fluffy. No wonder Bucky likes you so much.”

Alpine allows you to place them in your lap. The cat repeatedly nuzzles your swollen belly and purrs low in its throat. “You like the babies already, huh? I bet you will love it when they grab you with their chubby hands.”

You chuckle. “Be patient, sweetie. They won’t hurt you, promised. Maybe they want to cuddle you. You’re just so…fluffy and pretty.”

Kissing the cat’s head you sniffle. “Do you think they are alright? I hope so. I can’t raise two kids knowing their daddies are…” You shake your head. “No. We don’t think about it, Y/N. Steve and Bucky promised to come back to you, and they will.”

Alpine lifts its head to look at you. The white furball meows loudly before lying back down. “You think so too, right Alpine? Soon they will be back.”

“Come on, do your worst,” Rumlow laughs in Bucky’s face. He knows this is the end, but he won’t go down crying. “I have the truth on my side.”

“You see,” Bucky presses the tip of his knife into Rumlow’s chest, drawing the first droplets of blood. “I get that you wanted to avenge the woman you loved.” He circles Rumlow, while M’Baku aims his handgun at his head to make sure Rumlow doesn’t try anything stupid.

“I would’ve done the same if anyone harmed Steve, and I did,” Bucky stops right in front of Rumlow to ram his knife into the man’s shoulder. Rumlow winces when Bucky twists the knife. “I showed mercy when she tried to get rid of my husband.”

“Mercy,” Rumlow spits in Bucky’s face. “She’s dead!”

“Yeah, because that bitch was batshit crazy!” M’Baku growls. “Bucky and I had to drag her off Steve! She was like a feral animal only because Bucky’s dick was too good.”

“Thanks, man,” Bucky laughs at M’Baku’s comment. “I appreciate your praise, but we have more important things to do right now.”

“Buck—” Steve huffs.

“What I tried to tell you is that I understand where you are coming from, Rumlow,” Bucky slides the knife back out. He watches the blood paint Rumlow’s shirt red.

“But, you didn’t go after us,” Steve rams another knife into Rumlow’s side, stabbing him twice before retracting the knife. “You tried to not only kill our wife, but our unborn children too.”

“Stop toying with that piece of shit. He’s not worth your time. Bastard tried to kill the sweet woman and her babies because his girlfriend found a better dick and went crazy.”

In the background, the rest of the men chuckle. M’Baku is not wrong. There is no use in wasting time on Rumlow and his unjustified revenge campaign.

Rumlow wheezes, he feels lightheaded. He’s close to passing out when Bucky slaps him across the face. “Don’t you dare pass out on me? You won’t get away so easily. What kind of man goes after a woman and her unborn babies?”

“A pathetic little man not getting over the fact his woman wanted something more than him,” Steve wraps his hand around Rumlow’s throat from behind. “You see, no one gets in between me, Bucky, and Y/N. Not you. Not your girl. No one.”

“You made one mistake,” Bucky twirls the knife before stabbing Rumlow’s other shoulder, “you came to our town and tried to hurt what belongs to us.”

“You don’t hurt a woman to avenge another,” Steve whispers in Rumlow’s ear as he slowly sinks his knife into Rumlow’s back. “Do you know why Bucky let her go after she tried to kill me?” He twists the knife meanly. “Because he would never hurt a woman.”

“To be fair, I killed that fake nurse,” Bucky smirks darkly. He twists the knife, earning a yelp from Rumlow. “I don’t know if it was your idea, or hers. But that one is on you. I’d never killed her if she didn’t try to kill our wife and babies.”

“Buck let’s end this,” Steve looks at his husband. He doesn’t want to drag Rumlow’s end out. “We are done here, aren’t we.”

“Not yet…”

You hear voices, and then heavy footsteps. Your heartbeat quickens and you hold your breath. Is this the moment you’ve been waiting for, or did your men’s enemies win the upper hand?

“Alpine, you punk,” Bucky curses in front of the bedroom. “Why are you wearing a diamond necklace? Hey, did you rob our wife?”

Steve chuckles while his husband fights with Alpine over the necklace. “Well, it suits the furry beast.”

“STEVIE! BUCKY!” You open the door to look at your men. Bucky is busy tugging at the necklace around Alpine’s neck while Steve watches his husband with amusement. “You’re back!”

Looking them up and down you frown. They look uninjured and are in a good mood. It seems everything went according to plan. “Why did you not call? Me and Alpine were worried sick. You missed lunch, and dinner!”

Hands on your hips you rant about missed dinners, worrying you and the poor cat, and anything in between.

“Aw, we have missed you too, Y/N,” Steve takes the chance to hug you first. His husband is still busy scolding the poor cat for stealing your necklace. “I see you found a way to kill the time.”

“Alpine kept me company. Giving the pretty kitty my diamond necklace was the least I could do. Doesn’t Alpine look good? I brushed their fur, and we watched movies together.” You hide your face in Steve’s chest, inhaling his scent deeply. “You smell good, Stevie.”

“I smell good too, baby doll,” Bucky pecks your neck. He hides that Steve and he showered and changed clothes after disposing of Rumlow’s body. “How can we make things up to you?”

You smirk. “I know a way…”

Part 24

Tags in reblog.

[whorediaries-09]

Can I request a remus lupin x reader? Where they go to an autocinema and end making out

hi dear, thank you for sending in the request. hope you like it.

wherever i go

pairing- remus lupin x reader warning(s)- fluff, making out, suggestive. a/n- okay so i searched up what an autocinema is cause i had no idea what the heck is that 💀anyways i hope i did it justice.

the slut club valentine's day event

wherever i go there's a shadow of you

the beautiful pink and orange hues melt away to form the most beautiful sunset. but nothing matches the beauty of the hazel peripherals of the lanky male who sits near by you. his caramel brown locks reflect under the setting sun, his usually pale skin painted a dusted hue of red. he fiddles with his fingers, drawing your attention to the several rings on his long thin fingers. he's wearing one of his brown, oversized sweaters which made him look like a grandpa. a very handsome grandpa if you were being honest...

you shook your head. no you weren't supposed to look at his hands on his steering wheel. the ones you'd prefer intertwined with yours. not that you'd tell him. it would be heinous, truly, you thought if he got to know about your very inappropriate thoughts.

you slowly licked the vanilla softy you'd gotten prior driving into the autocinema. truth be told, you had no interest in the movie. the movie was a background noise, to distract yourself from your fluttering heart and your very silly thoughts.

about kissing him. about tangling your fingers through his fluffy hair. about wrapping your legs around his waist and-

'do you like the movie?' remus' voice startled you. you stared at him blankly. shit. you didn't listen to what he was saying.

'yeah yeah, the actress and actor were paired perfectly,' he stared at you, his eyes bluntly reading through you. it was no secret remus could read through people, and the quiver in your voice told him you weren't actually paying attention. it was a plain white lie, but you'd played your cards right.

but how he wished he'd know why you weren't paying attention. did you find it boring? he played with a loose frayed string on his sweater, not quite meeting your gaze. his eyes were averted towards the movie screen, but he wasn't watching. not really.

he could only think about how the sun painted your already beautiful eyes. how your skin glowed under the light, your lips smeared slightly with the softy. how the dress you'd chosen to wear hugged you in the right places, highlighting your assets.

if he could, he'd rip it apart, even though he liked how it suited you. he never liked softies, or anything more sweet than his dark chocolates and teas, but he'd love to lick the treat smeared on your lips....

'remus, you want some?' your voice caught him off guard. shit, he hadn't been listening.

'i think it's quite boring...' he drawled, trying to hide the flush that came with his shaky voice and white lie. your eyes bore into his, and he could swear his heart jumped out his poor chest. it was agonizing, too fast, when he felt your warm breath coated with the scent of vanilla and honey tingle his senses.

or maybe he forgot the ticks of the clock when you climbed onto his lap, capturing your lips with his. your weight pushed down on him, and he moaned as you grinded your hips against his, entangling your fingers into his hair, rubbing his scalp on just the right places. his felt his remaining breathes pound against his lungs when he heard your little squeak against his mouth when he squeezed your hips, pushing his clothed crotch against your core.

it was hot, dirty and filthy, a mix of teeth, tongues and saliva. he felt his soul crush, as his dreams and thoughts crushed into a realm of reality, an abyss of love and lust that made the both of your breathless. he tugged at the zipper of your dress, as he felt you push him against his seat.

he's doomed he thinks, when you leave his mouth. a string of saliva connects your lips. you're flushed, and he can feel the heat radiating off of you. but there's a haze of lust with bloomed peripherals, kiss sick lips and your heaving chest. you bite your lip, encouraging him to flick the useless metal of your zipper. you want nothing but him, to feel him, to feel his skin against yours.

remus lupin was always good at reading people, after all.

[itsohh]

141 Leaving their partner to keep them safe

A/N: G/N reader, this was inspired by Eyes Without a Face by Billy Idol which I've been listening to repeat for like an hour. Such a vibe.

Warnings: Angst

Masterlist

Gaz

It had been a decision that had kept him up for nights. One her eventually went to Price about. "You have to do what you think is right Gaz. This isn't a decision I can make for you." John has told him, face soft with pity. He didn't envy the position Kyle was in.

So he took you out, gave you the best night he possibly could. On the now dark beach he took your hand, sat down the pair of you on a public chair. The roar of waves in the background. "I wanted to do everything I possibly could with you tonight." He swallowed and let out a deep breath.

"Kyle? Is everything alright." He couldn't look at you, couldn't look at those eyes of yours.

"I won't be able to see you anymore."

"You- huh? What do you mean?"

"I'm breaking up with you. You're a distraction at work, I can't focus when I'm thinking about you." His words had a sliver of truth to them, yes you distracted him sometimes but it was never a problem. It was never something he couldn't control. The real reason had been an attack on a number of SAS operatives' families. Leaked files that had compromised a number of people. Some had died. Kyle hadn't been compromised or had his file leaked but it was still a very real threat.

It has put his entire life into a new perspective.

Eventually he made up his mind. "It's not your fault, I don't think I can be in a relationship at all. It isn't a fit with my life anymore, I'm sorry."

"I... see." You looked over to the ocean. "I thought tonight you were going to… I don't know what I thought tonight was going to be. Not this. I hope your career works out well for you." Your voice went from broken to stoic. Almost emotionless. Kyle wanted to comfort you, to hold you close but he didn't. It wouldn't help you, it would only help him. Kyle knew he had been selfish enough that night.

So Kyle watched as you got up from the public chair. "You can get your stuff from my house tomorrow when I'm at work. I don't want it." From stoic to angry.

"Let me take you home, it's late."

"Piss off Kyle. I'll get an uber. You worry about where you're spending the night." There was an anger that bubbled in your chest, hand clenched. Despite your anger directed to him, it was more at yourself. That you ever thought he was going to spend the rest of his life with you.

Without looking at him you started to walk off, a mutter beneath your breath. "I hate the fucking beach."

Ghost

A single picture. One you would never know about. It was of you, a smile on your face as you candidly looked to the side. You had been drawing the curtains closed. A picture that you never knew and would never know was taken.

A single picture that had been sent to Ghost.

A single picture that had made him make up his mind.

Ghost had made sure to clean out all evidence of himself from your house while you were out shopping. That day he helped you unpacked. A smile had been plastered from one side of your face to the other. You had been so happy for his return, so happy to see him again. "I don't love you anymore." He had said those words when you sat down on the couch next to him. For a second you thought it was just a cruel joke. But you searched his eyes, searched that masked face of his.

"What?"

"Nothing more to it." He stood up from the couch and you jumped up after him.

"Is there someone else?"

"No, there's nothing that happened. Don't overthink it. People fall out of love sometimes."

"Can I do something to make you fall back in love? We can get through this, this doesn't have to be the end of the road. Simon if your scared if we are going too fast or-"

"-No. Nothing you say will change this." His movements were rigid, tense as he walked towards the door. Ready to vanish into the night to never be seen again.

"Simon-" Your bottom lip quivered and your eyes were big while you started at the back of his head.

"Don't call me that. Find someone that can love you the way you love me, because I can't."

Price

It had been a month. A month since work had been brought home. Back on your feet, the bruises had faded. Wrapped up on the couch a figure moved in the corner of your eye. "John?" No answer. You frowned and pushed the blankets off your body. The cool air hit your legs and you shuffled towards his figure. You could have sworn you heard the small click of the front door opening. 

"John?" He froze with his hand on the door, a bag slung over his shoulder. "Do you have another mission? I suppose I can't keep you here all the time." You smiled and he nodded. He returned the smile but there was something in his eyes. A sadness, a deep sadness. "Do you know when you will be back?"

"No." His eyes broke eye contact. "Let me go out this in the car and I'll be back to say goodbye." Before you could open your mouth he had pushed open the door and disappeared. 

True to his word he came back to the front door and opened his arms wide, welcoming you into him as he usually did. You hurried your face into his chest and your hands practically clawed into his shirt. A gentle kiss blessed the top of your head. 

Slowly you pulled back from him, eyes glazed as you looked into his. "You're not coming back are you?" 

He froze and his face turned into one of pity. "You always were a smart thing." His head gently started to stroke your hair. 

"Was it something I did John? Is there something that I didn't do? Is there-"

"-Shh shhh, I promise you. It was nothing you did. It's not you. You're perfect, too perfect for me. But I have to focus on work."

"John no please- don't-." You choked on your words, a sob ripped from your as you buried your face back into his chest. 

"I'm so sorry. Shhh shhh. Everything will be okay. You still have your whole life ahead of you."

"But I don't want that without you John please don't leave. I love you please, please, please, I love you so much I'll do anything please John." Your begs were interpreted as he grasped both sides of your face with his hands. His brows were furrowed and tears threatened to spill from his eyes. 

His lips pressed against yours only for a moment. "I love you too sweetheart. Please don't make this harder. I have to do what I have to do."

"John." He let go of you and started to turn but you grabbed his arm. "John please."

His shoulders tensed and his breath frosted in the cold air. John didn't try to pull from you, he didn't say a word yet the request to let go was loud in the air. 

"I love you John. I'll never forget about you."

"Forget about me. Please, it would be kinder."

"John!" You let go of his arm and sunk to your knees, watching him go. 

Soap

Graves's words rung in his head. Even after his death, the man still managed to make his life a living hell. "Heard you got a sweetheart back at home McTavish." If he hadn't been in the middle of throwing out the C4 there was a very real possibility that Graves's words would have made him freeze.

"Perhaps when I'm done here I'll go show them what a real man is. A real soldier. Perhaps be their shoulder to cry on. Then the second they get over you- make them mine. Will never think about your sorry ass again."

That final C4 has really made it truly satisfying to wipe whatever smirk that was on his face into smithereens.

The more Soap thought about it though, the more it worried him. If Graves knew you were existed then who else did? What if Shepard wanted to use you against him? What if someone else turned?

He could let that happen to you. At the same time, Johnny was scare. Terrified, he couldn't face breaking your heart. As much as he thought you deserved to be told face to face, he couldn't. "I'm a fucking coward." He hissed to himself, his handwriting messy as he finished scribbling down the piss poor excuse of a break up.

You were so peaceful in your once shared bed. Content. A mood that would drastically change at your wake. When you would find him long gone. Only a note for an excuse. Johnny taped the small note to his pillow and made the bed. You stired a little in the bed but didnt wake from your deep sleep.

In a moment of weakness, Johnny sat down on the bed. He lay down backwards so his head was on your chest. Eyes closed he could almost imagine the way your hands would thread through his hair. He could almost imagine that laughter that he would never hear again. "I love you." A small whiper into the darkness. With a deep breath he slowly moved forward. Still so peaceful asleep, he left, a final glance at the doorway.