#the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy til all of the tricks don't work anymore || interactions

[local-magpie]

getting back out of bed to brush my teeth after all because im so sick of being sad about futures ill never have. time to drag myself into this one ive got properly

[hermesmoly]

Children of Agamemnon and Clytemnestra as Melodrama songs:

Iphigenia - Writer in the Dark ("Did my best to exist just for you / Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart / I am my mother's child / I'll love you 'til my breathing stops / I'll love you 'til you call the cops on me”)

Electra - Liability ("All that a stranger would see / Is one girl swaying alone, stroking her cheek / They say, "You're a little much for me / You're a liability / The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy / 'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me")

Orestes - Sober II ("You asked if I was feeling it, I'm psycho high / Know you won't remember in the morning when I speak my mind / And the terror and the horror / God, I wonder why we bother / All the glamour and the trauma / and the fucking melodrama")

Chrysothemis - Hard Feelings/Loveless (“Please, could you be tender? And I will sit close to you / I care for myself the way I used to care about you / 'Til I don't need fantasy, 'til I feel you leave / Bet you wanna rip my heart out / Well, guess what? I'd like that.")

+

Pylades - The Lourve ("I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush / Drink up your movements, still I can't get enough / Blow all my friendships / To sit in hell with you / Okay I know that you are not my type (still I fall) / I'm just the sucker who let you fill her mind")

[thecampbellowl]

CHARLOTTE CAMPBELL: A PLAYLIST.

Skinny Love - Birdy

And in the morning I'll be with you / But it will be a different kind / And I'm holding all the tickets / And you'll be owning all the fines

I Of The Storm - Of Monsters and Men

If I could face them / If I could make amends with all my shadows / I'd bow my head and welcome them / But I feel it burning / Like when the winter wind stops my breathing / Are you really gonna love me when I'm gone? / I fear you won't / I fear you don't

B a noBody - SOAK

You ring, you ring a bell to show / You're bleeding / I watched, I saw your mind fall, / Out of your head / Weekends and cheap thrills, / Risk it all for an inch of fun, / We'll never amount / To anything

Alien - Novaa

Everything is always so distant / When everyone thinks / That you’re a miracle / Everything is always so cold / When you’re busy / Keeping others warm

Vienna - Billy Joel

Slow down you crazy child / You're so ambitious for a juvenile / But then if you're so smart tell me / Why are you still so afraid?

Liability - Lorde

The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy / 'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore / And then they are bored of me / I know that it's exciting running through the night, but / Every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone / Better on my own

Drive - Halsey

All we do is drive / All we do is think about the feelings that we hide / All we do is sit in silence waiting for a sign / Sick and full of pride / All we do is drive

1994 - Cavetown

Say you're coming around / I need you lately, everything's been getting me down / I felt so much older than the kids 'round the corner / But I feel so much younger now / Overtook them all and slowed back down / Blamed a child in a daisy crown

People Watching - Conan Gray

I'm only looking just to live through you vicariously / I've never really been in love, not seriously / I had a dream about a house behind a picket fence / Next one I choose to trust, I hope I use some common sense / But I cut people out, like tags on my clothing / I end up all alone, but I still keep hoping

Heavy - Dizzy

I've been reading into programs / Relying on a romance / To get this feeling out from under my nails / And I ask where does all the good go? / I theorize a black hole and / Try not to get too sentimental

[achillyscomedown]

the dead poets as song lyrics pt.2-

neil: and everyone was confused, didn’t know why i was blue, couldn’t show them my wounds // had to bluff after the game, knowing it wasn’t the same, i put a smile on my face // ‘cause i looked like i owned the ocean, after 20 years of staring at the sea // and all i could think about was the sand at the bottom, and how i wish that it could bury me // 

todd: i have these dreams where i’m me again // and they almost feel like they’re real // it’s as if i have self esteem again // it’s as if i’m starting to heal // the chills and sweats grab ahold of me // and they pull me out of my dream // they just won’t seem to let go of me //

charlie: i wish that it was always said and done before // i don’t know when chaos became my core // for if i give another lie i swear // it’s only because i know that nothing is there // 

cameron: get a load of this monster // he doesn’t know how to communicate // his mind is in a different place // can everybody please give him a little bit of space? // get a load of this trainwreck // his minds a mess and he doesn’t know who he is yet //

pitts: the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy // ‘til all the tricks don’t work anymore // and then they are bored of me // i know that it’s exciting, running through the night // but every perfect summer’s eating me alive //

meeks: what you say tells me nothing, what’s the truth? // give me something, take me down a road i believe in // lost the way, lost all reason // give me something, search the past for redemption // broken glass, no reflection // take me to a place i believe in // 

knox: i’ve been falling much more deep than i wanna // i’ve been wishing i could breathe underwater // i hold my breath, i can’t see what comes next // i don’t know when i’ll see dry land again // another 40 days i’m lost at sea // i’m just gonna swim until you love me // hoping that your heart will rescue me // i’m just gonna swim until you love me // 

[spiritdreamt]

songs and quotes for the muse ♥ under the cut 'cause it's long tagged by: @shilohgreen tagging: @allevils, @publicabsent, @painmon, @slashaer, @dumbthink, @princetorn, and you!!

five SONGS for my muse:

—bag of bones by mitski. mercy on me, would you please spare me tonight? / i'm tired of this searching, would you let me let go? / and i can take a little bit more / let's shake this poet out of the beast.

—liability by lorde. the truth is, i am a toy that people enjoy / 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore / and then they are bored of me. / i know that it's exciting, running through the night, but / every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone.

—styrofoam plates by death cab for cutie. you're a disgrace to the concept of family / the priest won't divulge that fact in his homily / and i'll stand up and scream if the mourning remain quiet / you can deck out a lie in a suit, but i won't buy it / ... and just 'cause he's gone, it doesn't change the fact / he was a bastard in life, thus a bastard in death.

—fake out by fall out boy. do you laugh about me whenever i leave? / or do i just need more therapy? / love is in the air, i just gotta figure out a window to break out / buried alive inside my dreams, but it was all a fake-out.

—waiting room by phoebe bridgers. and when broken bodies are washed ashore / who am i to ask for more, more more? / but you're breathing in my open mouth / you're the gun in my lips that will blow my brains out / i want to make you drive all night just because i said maybe you should come over / i want to make you fall in love as hard as my poor parents' teenage daughter / she'll be the best you ever had, if you let her.

five QUOTES for my muse:

she does know the earth / is run by mothers, this much / is certain. she also knows / she is not what is called / a girl any longer. regarding / incarceration, she believes // she has been a prisoner since she has been a daughter. persephone the wanderer, by louise glück.

i'll hurt myself first. i know the places that are the most delicate. i'll do the hurting from now on, as long as all of this stops!!! the secret diary of laura palmer, by jennifer lynch.

i was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved." i felt starved of affection, starved of love and i felt that it wasn't ok to ask for it. maybe there was a sense that if i deserved it, it would be there. there must be something i'd done which meant i didn't deserve it. to die for, by carol lee.

i had a room to myself as a kid, but my mother was always quick to point out that it wasn't my room, it was her room and i was merely permitted to occupy it. her point, of course, was that my parents had earned everything and i was merely borrowing the space, and while this is technically true i cannot help but marvel at the singular damage of this dark idea: that my existence as a child was a kind of debt and nothing, no matter how small, was mine. that no space was truly private; anything of mine could be forfeited at someone else's whim. in the dream house, by carmen maria machado.

i'm a strange new kind of inbetween thing aren't i / not at home with the dead nor with the living. antigonick, by anne carson.

[diyasgarden]

your liability post....i really felt that. These lines specifically:

The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy 'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore And then they are bored of me

Not to mention when she sings about being too much for anyone in that song. I started calling myself a liability after hearing it for the first time.

Those are the lines which really get me too tbh. The song came out around the time I was 12/13 and someone I knew told me that “i was a lot to handle” and I think that really changed the way I viewed myself. So the song came out just as I fully realized I felt this way and it simultaneously felt like a slap in the face and a hug.

I think in the past couple years Lorde has been pretty open about how she feels she has to seem interesting and captivating, when in reality she views herself as inherently the opposite. This is so clear in the song and really what makes me love it so much because I feel the exact same way. That desire to feel loved but not feeling like you’ll find it just because of who you are is exhausting and the song shows that. But also pretending to be what others want to find that love is equally as exhausting and never works out either. How all together you’re just left with this feeling like you’re too much to handle, which is so easy to internalize. At least it was for me.

Also the ending where she talks about how she is going to disappear. I feel like when you feel this way sometimes it really does feel like the best thing you can do is just disappear. Take away the burden you view your existence to be from others and just rot with these feelings. The song takes you through all these feelings so beautifully, it’s like a natural progression. It reminds me of the stream-of-consciousness writing style except in song form. This whole song is a masterpiece, I think I could talk about it for hours.

But I also like to think about how the song was written in the first place. How Lorde perfectly captured what i felt because she also felt it. That the song is so popular because so many people also feels it. I don’t know if I will always feel this way (god i hope not), but there is comfort in knowing that I’m not the only one feeling like this. That no matter how isolating it is, I’m never actually alone in this. And neither are you.

[raayllum]

A LAST RESORT → a Callum and Ezran angst speculative arc 2 fanmix

i. and for every king that died oh, they would crown another, and it's harder than you think telling dreams from one another ii. two birds on a wire, one tries to fly away and the other watches him close from that wire iii. come in misery, where you can seem as old as your omens, and the mother we share will never keep your proud head from falling iv. the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy, til all of the tricks don't work anymore, and then they are bored of me v. this is my kingdom come, when you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide vi. well you look like yourself, but you're somebody else only it ain't on the surface vii. playing your part playing the game, i don't expect you to believe me, missing the mark we tear it apart, i never ask you why you need me viii. you hate my bad behaviour, you cut my lips and tongue, you play the part of saviour, i watch you come undone ix. but your blade it might be too sharp, i'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard x. icarus is flying too close to the sun and icarus' life, it has only just begun, this is how it feels to take a fall, icarus is flying towards an early grave xi. you lost your mind in the sound, there's so much more, you can reclaim your crown, you're in control, rid of the monsters inside your head, put all your faults to bed, you can be king again xii. i remember you said you were scared, and so am i

[youreonyourownkid]

the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore and then they are bored of me

[chaotic-theatrical-weaver]

The lines "I'll be your quiet afternoon crush / Be your violent overnight rush / Make you crazy over my touch / But it's just a supercut of us" hit so much harder with the context of "Liability" and "Writer in the Dark."

"I'll be your quiet afternoon crush":

"He don't wanna know me, says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm"

"They say, 'you're a little much for me / You're a liability / You're a little much for me' / So they pull back, make other plans"

"Stood on my chest and kept me down / Hated hearing my name on the lips of a crowd / Did my best to exist just for you"

The speaker wasn't "quiet" enough for her partner's satisfaction, leading to her own heartbreak in the present when she is abandoned.

"Be your violent overnight rush / Make you crazy over my touch":

"The truth is, I am a toy that people enjoy / 'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore / And then they are bored of me / I know that it's exciting, running through the night / But every perfect summer's eating me alive / Until you're gone / Better on my own"

"Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark / Now she's gonna play and sing and lock you in her heart"

While the speaker was expected to be more passive and quiet in the relationship, her partner's ability to "love" her was also based on her ability to thrill him. Hence, her memories now are indeed "just a supercut" of an unhealthy relationship, and regardless of what she's said previously of being "better on [her] own" or having "stumbled on a secret power," she establishes for herself a new unhealthy pattern of idealizing the past. (It's also notable that "Supercut" was placed directly after "Writer in the Dark," likely precisely for this reason.)

[wanuy]

the truth is I am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore and then they get bored of me

[tallymali]

the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy til all of the tricks dont work anymore, and then they are bored of me

[rayofsunshinc]

FIVE SONGS - for steve harrington

yes i'm changing - I saw it different, I must admit. I caught a glimpse, I'm going after it. They say people never change but that's bullshit, they do. Yes, I'm changing, can't stop it now and even if I wanted, I wouldn't know how.

liability - The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy 'til all of the tricks don't work anymore and then they are bored of me. I know that it's exciting running through the night, but every perfect summer's eating me alive until you're gone. Better on my own. They say, "You're a little much for me. You're a liability."

are you bored yet? - What's wrong? You've been askin' but I don't have an answer. How come? I'm still thinkin' let's pretend to fall asleep now. When we get old, will we regret this? Too young to think about all that shit and stallin' only goes so far when you've got a head start.

everything is embarrassing - I've been hating everything, everything that could have been. Could have been my anything, now everything's embarrassing. Acting like it's nothing, such a bore. I saw the truth and I just can't ignore you're trying to hold the heart that can't be stored. Say I tried to give my best before. You wouldn't have the chance to give me more. You're only one step closer to the door.

and finally, a song i think steve likes

endless summer nights - Now you're looking back at me, searching for a way that we can be like we were before. Now I'm back to what I knew before you. Somehow the city doesn't look the same. I'd give my life for one more night of having you here to hold me tight.

tagged by @hawkinshellraiser

tagging @fcllederage, @corignem, @filmdesque, @dcwnthercbbithcle and YOU

[drowsysources]

𝐻𝑒𝒶𝓇𝓉𝒻𝑒𝓁𝓉 𝒬𝓊𝑜𝓉𝑒𝓈

╰┈➤ a variety of quotes taken from the heartfeltbot twitter account

‘in the dream i don’t tell anyone, you put your head in my lap.’

‘i know who i am. i’m not so sure i know who you are anymore.’

‘everyone’s fucked and they don’t even know!’

‘if i’d have known i’d mess up this many times, then i’d shut up for the rest of my life.’

‘i’m glad to be with you, (NAME). here at the end of all things.’

there’s some good in this world, (NAME). and it’s worth fighting for.

‘the truth is i am a toy that people enjoy ‘til all of the tricks don’t work anymore. and then they are bored of me.’

‘i have this terrible feeling it might not work out for us this time.’

‘i know. i know. the past haunts you. i know. let me kiss your fears away.’

‘if you’ll give me a minute... i think i can make this worse.’

‘losing is fine. everything is fine.’

‘there are some secrets i will take to my grave. but i don’t want loving you to be one of them.’

‘i know, you never intended to be in this world. but you’re in it all the same.’

‘the closest we could get to each other wasn’t close enough.’

‘when you see me next, you won’t recognize the motherfucker that i am.’

‘i don’t want you to change. i want you to always be you.’

‘i don’t care if i’m losing myself in the garden of earthly delights. i could drop dead right where i stand, and i wouldn’t mind.’

‘i carry around the body of someone that should’ve died.’

‘i think i fall in love with people, a little too much, just in the way they sound at 4am or how they look with that smile.’

‘you are a dash of sunshine in my otherwise dreary cup of life.’

‘i am tired of suffering. the sun doesn’t shine here anymore and no one understands how lonely it is to live through the misery alone.’

‘but i must admit i miss you terribly. the world is too quiet without you nearby.’

‘you are wonderfully, implausibly, extraordinarily you.’

‘i do not want to be a person. i want to be unbearable.’

‘you? you can’t save anybody, (NAME).’

‘why am i lonely for lonesome love? why am i lonely?’

‘you’re my best friend and we’re dancing in a world alone.’

[vangoghsearformusic-blog]

the truth is

i am a toy

that people enjoy

til all of the tricks

don’t work anymore

and then they are bored of me

[taaaaaaaaaatiana]

The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy

'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore

And then they are booooored of me

[dazzlebythelights]

The truth is I am a toy that people enjoy

'Til all of the tricks don't work anymore

And then they are bored of me