#the tid reread is going well

[doctormichaelaquinn]

Jem saying "oh thank God. Thank God." after Tessa agrees to marry him...a stab wound would be less painful.

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

there's really no wrong answer they're all correct

[grudgecollector]

Afterglow | Nam-gyu / American!Reader

You're reading part five

Story Summary: Nam-gyu gets a new job and finds himself falling for the girl behind the deli counter.

Words: 2.3k

Tags/Warnings: Nam-gyu and Thanos have PTSD, canon divergence, Thanos lives, Nam-gyu doesn't know how to process negative emotions, angst, self harm, fluff, smut, dry humping, p n v, unprotected, creampie

A/N: Haiii what a whiplash of tags

It's been absolutely forever since I've written smut so I apologize if this isn't good LMAO

I just felt I might as well give you guys a little gift after last chapter

Anyway I'm not sure if this is going to be the last chapter. But I feel like it's a fitting end for these two. I might do some little tid bits in the future, I've got some ideas already, but you'll just have to bare with me.

I'm a little iffy about this chapter. I have no idea if it makes sense or if it's actually good, but I think that's only because I kind of struggled to write it and have been staring at it WAY TOO LONG.

MASTERLIST

Lightning strikes rippled through the dark rainy skies above Nam-gyu’s apartment. Streaks of yellow light blooming before each thunderous boom echoed above. The awning above shielded Nam-gyu from the downpour that fell in thick drops, smacking against the ground in quick succession. 

Nam-gyu’s chest felt hollow, emotions numb, but his head still had a storm raging inside. He felt terrible. You had been so excited to show him and Su-bong all that Halloween had to offer in America.

He would be lying if he said he didn't share your enthusiasm, but the events of this morning had ruined everything.

A particularly bad nightmare had woken Nam-gyu up. Sweat was covering his chest and the back of his neck. He blinked several times trying to register where he was, your horrified screams still echoing through his head. 

He had wanted to call you, to receive the comfort your voice always brought him, but he didn’t want to worry you so early in the morning.

Throughout the day his thoughts ran wild, the nightmare playing over and over in more and more gruesome scenarios. Nam-gyu felt like he was being sucked back into that nightmarish place with each minute that passed. 

Nam-gyu flicked the flimsy ashes of his cigarette onto the pavement below. He picked at the skin around his fingernails carelessly. His eyelids sagged a little, his lips downturned in a cold expression, irritation jabbing itself into his side. 

He honestly felt embarrassed, a brief insecure thought of “Am I overreacting?” passing through his head. Nam-gyu was used to acting like this around Su-bong, having witnessed each other at their very worst many times. But to have you see this part of him? It made him want to crawl out of his skin.

You shouldn’t have to be with someone so broken. 

Nam-gyu didn’t want to admit it to himself, but his friend was right. 

He couldn’t keep tearing himself apart like this. And he knew once he fell down that slippery slope, he would drag you down right alongside him.

He would become the worst version of himself all over again. The self centered, arrogant, careless asshole he always became when he was high. 

The cherry of his cigarette was so bright against the blackened night sky, the white paper burning back, peeling into a burnt black before turning grey as he took another slow drag. 

Just one more score… One more hit… Just one more bump… One last time…

The cigarette sizzled against Nam-gyu’s wrist, he sucked in a loud hiss through his teeth. The burning pain bloomed through his skin as he let the remains of the orange filter fall to the ground pathetically, an angry red burn staring back at him. 

~~~

The next few days dragged on at an agonizing pace. You hadn’t seen Nam-gyu or Su-bong since that night, and it left a pit of hopelessness in your stomach. You constantly had to remind yourself to put your phone away, rereading the text Su-bong had sent you over and over again. 

“Just give us a few days and I promise you’ll get some answers.”

Each passing second you waited for that chime to come. Glancing back to the black screen of your phone more often than you would like to admit. That nausea stirred by anxiety bit at the back of your throat for hours on end during the second day, tears threatening to fall from your eyes. 

In a way you were terrified that this would somehow result in the end of your relationship, overthinking every possible outcome that could happen once Su-bong finally does text you. 

You knew deep down that you were being ridiculous. But in the past your relationships have ended over much more trivial things. Stupid things that could have been talked about, solved with a simple conversation. 

No, this couldn’t be what ended things with Nam-gyu. You couldn’t let someone like him slip through your fingers like that. No matter how broken or bruised he thought he was. 

But as you sat on his couch listening to Su-bong recount the events they experienced while in South Korea, you finally started to understand. 

The blood and carnage they witnessed, it would have been unbelievable if Su-bong didn’t show you the articles to back up everything he said. 

“BREAKING: Underground deathmatch operation in South Korea finally comes to a halt, forty two people rescued, number of arrests unknown at this time.” 

You looked over at Nam-gyu who was at the other end of the couch, legs tucked into his chest as he smoked a blunt lazily, looking everywhere but at you. He hasn’t said a word since you sat down, his fingers dragging across his bottom lip softly as he listened to his friend talk. 

A tense silence hung in the air after Su-bong finished. His eyes lingered on Nam-gyu before looking at you. 

How does someone even respond to something like this? Where do you even begin? You have never watched someone die, let alone be murdered. In all honesty you thought that Nam-gyu might have just relapsed, and that he was too scared to tell you. 

You could have never guessed it was something as horrifying as this. 

Nam-gyu cleared his throat, “Please don’t feel like you need to pity me. The stuff we went through was… It was bad but-" He was quiet for a second, stuck on his own words, "Fuck I don’t even know how to talk about this shit, nevermind.” He laughed bitterly, going back to smoking. 

Being stuck in an environment like that can fundamentally change a person for life. Preyed upon at their lowest points, broken down into the worst versions of yourself. Hundreds of people ripping each other apart lest they fall first, having to fight your way out with no guarantee that you would live to see the sunlight again.

You couldn’t even begin to imagine what it must have been like for them. 

“All we’re asking is for you to be a little patient with us.” Su-bong said finally, picking awkwardly at the strings on his pants. 

You realize that they both must have felt extremely vulnerable right now. One of their darkest secrets finally out in the open, revealing the throbbing gash that was their minds. 

“Of course.” 

~~~

Nam-gyu’s room was freezing. A fan humming loudly in the corner of his room, the notch turned to the highest setting. The curtain over his window fluttered, the streetlights from outside briefly lighting his sparsely decorated walls, illuminating your soft gaze. Nam-gyu could almost trick himself into thinking stars were in your eyes, sparkling as they stared into his soul. 

Your fingertips kissed the skin of his cheek, your lips a sweet caress against his as you whispered softly to him. Words that soaked into his skin like sunlight on a summer’s day, he could almost hear birds chirp in the back of his mind as his eyes slipped closed.

That storm raging inside of him slowly turned into a soft drizzle, and for a brief moment Nam-gyu almost felt like a rainbow could bloom from behind the grey clouds of his mind. 

You made everything feel right. 

Every thorny fear stabbed into Nam-gyu’s quickly beating heart kissed away by each touch. 

“I love you, Nam-gyu… More than I have ever loved anyone.” You whispered against his cheek. 

His blunt fingernails scratched oh so softly at the skin under your shirt, drawing meaningless patterns as you continued showering him in your adoration.

Nam-gyu swore that his heart was going to beat out of his chest, the only thing that plagued his mind now was you. 

“I’m really sorry…” Nam-gyu finally spoke up, his voice weaker than he had expected it to be. 

You looked at him curiously, fingers combing through his hair gently. Goosebumps rose up on Nam-gyu’s arms as he tried to think about what he wanted to say next. 

“I know that you were really scared a few days ago… And I just feel bad, I should have told you about all of this sooner, but…” He took a deep, shaky breath, “I was terrified that you would see me differently. Like I'm some broken… thing that needed fixing.” 

A kiss was pressed softly to Nam-gyu’s forehead, then to his cheek, there was a long beat of silence. Nam-gyu could tell you were carefully figuring out how to word your response. 

“Don’t apologize for not telling me. I’m just thankful that you felt safe enough to let me in like this.” 

~~~

Over the next month things started to settle back down. Nam-gyu still struggled, as any normal person would in his circumstance. But eventually your usual routines were slowly restored, and things felt like they were back to normal again.

Nam-gyu was smiling a lot more, his usual playful attitude finally shining back through. It seemed as though a weight was finally being lifted from his tense shoulders, allowing him to relax back into his life. 

And as a way to provide a helpful distraction from their troubles, you got them into one of your favorite shows that you watched as a teenager. 

It was an American show that neither man had heard of before, they were interested enough to start watching it, and now they were hooked. You wished so desperately you could watch for the first time all over again. Wishing you could share their shocked reactions when their wide eyes would meet yours. 

“Oh my god- get this bitch out of my face.” Nam-gyu groaned, a particularly annoying character walking on screen. 

“He’s really not that bad.” Su-bong commented, crunching loudly on a piece of popcorn, “At least he killed that one guy.” 

Nam-gyu glances up at you from where his head was laying on your thigh, as if to say “Can you believe this guy?” before rolling his eyes and saying,

“Yeah that was the most useful thing he’s done this entire season.”

A small laugh leaves you, your fingers softly playing with his hair. Your fingertips softly brushed against the shell of his ear, making him shiver a little. There was a certain heat to your touch, grabbing his attention as you trailed closer to the base of his neck and around to trace the side of his adams apple. 

You watched him carefully. Watched as his hand slowly came up to your thigh, gripping just above your knee, his body was more tense than before. But his eyes didn’t leave the screen for a second, not even as your fingertips dipped below the collar of his shirt and your fingernails scratched against the skin just below his collarbone. 

~~~

His lips whispered across your skin, fingers gripping harshly on your hips as he brought you closer. You could feel how hard he was against your clothed center. You could feel the heat of his cock pressing into you as you grind down against him, small moans slipping from his mouth between breathless kisses. 

Your neck was wet with his spit, bite marks already blooming into delicious bruises. One of your hands weaved through his hair, deepening your desperation as his tongue made its way past your parted lips. 

He guides your hips with precision, the press of him making your desire heighten with each salacious movement. You felt like a woman starved, every fibre of your being craving him. With every sound that left his lips, every time your name dripped from his tongue. 

“Fuck, honey.” He whispered against your lips, he braced a hand on your back as he flipped the both of you over, his hips working against yours harder than before, “Fuck…”

Nam-gyu separated himself from you for just a second, pushing his boxers down just enough. You were quick to remove your own underwear, throwing it to the floor. Your legs quickly found their way back to his waist, your hands pulling him back down for another kiss. 

You couldn’t keep your hands off of him. Your lips pressed soft kisses to his jaw when he leaned his forehead against your shoulder, pushing himself inside of you so slowly. The stretch of his cock made your lips part with a gasp, your nails bit into his shoulder as he started grinding into you, the tip kissing your cervix. 

“Shit, baby, always so fucking tight.” His words sent jolts through your whole body, “So good...” He whispered into your ear. 

His first thrust almost pushed the air from your lungs, a steady pace being set as his hands explored your chest. He squeezed your breast before he brought his hand to brush his thumb against your throat. 

Sweet moans poured from his mouth as he pressed messy kisses to the side of your throat. His hips slapped yours loudly, his cock ramming so deep inside you that it leaves you breathless. You felt like you were vibrating with pleasure. 

“‘S fucking good- shit.” His hand trailed down between your sweaty bodies, his middle finger finding your clit. Sparks traveled through your body to the tips of your toes, his fingers massaged against your bundle of nerves softly.

“Please…” You whine out pathetically. 

“You gonna cum baby?” You could see the smirk playing at the corner of his lips. 

His hips were slamming into you harder now, fucking into you like it would be the last time. He was savoring every single drag of his cock inside your velvet walls, squeezing against him so tightly, pulling him back in. 

“Nam-gyu, oh fuck!” Your thighs shook against him as your orgasm crashed into you, your fingers clawing against his shoulders. 

“Shit.” He gasped, his hips grinding into yours and you could feel him twitch as he finally came, hot spurts coating your insides. 

Nam-gyu’s eyes met yours. They were soft, swimming with unspoken emotions, a small smile tugged at his lips. His fingers brushed away the sweaty strands of hair from your cheek, fingertips grazing your jaw as he brought you into a crushing kiss. A kiss that said, 

I love you… I love you… I love you…

[thebitchforjemcarstairs]

I love reading your notes as you read Your way through the novels. What has been anything new or of note this time round rereading TAC? Especially since I’m assuming he older thus have a different perspective?

oooh I love this question, and I have a lot of things to say, as an older reader. The first time I read TMI and TID, and TDA, I was a wee child. Now I'm rereading the books as a woman in her late 20s, who gained in maturity since her first read (I hope) 😭 I'm not going to talk much about TMI, because I still need to read City of HeavenlyFire (maybe I'll make a post about it), but be prepared for a lot of unpopular opinions XD

Here we go.

I hate Sebastian with all my heart, I don't believe in his redemption, HOWEVER, the way Jocelyn talked about him when he was a baby is crazy. I genuinely think 30% of why Sebastian is like that is because of Jocelyn. I understand that she thought he was dead, but her reactions to seeing him in CoLS, as if he was the worst thing ever IS CRAZY, like girl be for real, you were in the Circle.

Jace should have stayed a Lightwood. I understand he wants to belong to his family, blabla, but his real family is the Lightwoods, not the Herondale. Also, we have Kit now to take the name.

Alec in TMI was a child going through a lot. He was not annoying or anything, he was insecure, like a lot of 18 years old are. And his break up with Magnus in CoLS was much needed for him to mature (thankful it did not last longer that one book though 😭)

CLARY IS NOT AN IMMATURE, ANNOYING FMC. SHE WAS 16 YEARS OLD WHEN SHE DISCOVERED THAT HER MOTHER LIED TO HER ABOUT HER WHOLE LIFE, HER FATHER WAS THE EQUIVALENT OF A NAZI, AND SHE DISCOVERED A NEW WORLD WHEN SHE WAS BEING CHASED BY SAID NAZI. She does take "some" bad decisions, BUT THAT'S BECAUSE HER MOTHER NEVER TAUGHT HER HOW TO PROTECT HERSELF. LEAVE CLARY ALONE.

Controversial, but Henry is the worst kind of husband a woman could ever ask for. Charlotte had to deal with the education and well being of 3 kids (one of them had an incurable chronic disease that fucking killing him slowly), the Institute and Clave work, and had to manage the household (the house keepers etc.) ALONE, FROM THE AGE OF 19 TO 23. Even in TID, most of the time he was useless as a husband, and as a person she could count and rely on , or take some responsibilities. Great inventor, worst kind of husband.

Tessa having sex with Will in CP2 makes perfect sense, and is very true to her character. She was scared of being "only" touched by Mortmain, and THAT'S VALID. She was sad, and overwhelmed, and wanted to have sex. Her trying to jump a Silent Brother after Will's death, MAKES PERFECT SENSE, AND IS VERY TRUE TO HER CHARACTER.

I do not mind that Tessa is not a big warrior like Emma, Clary and Cordelia. I actually, really like the fact that she fights when she needs to fight (and she is extremely badass when she does), but is a domestic FMC. I love that in TID it was emphasised that she loved reading, gossiping with Sophie, loves clothes and fashion, does not like training, but understands its importance. TESSA IS A ROMANTIC, and her enjoying decorating the Institute in TLH, and hosting parties, and becoming a mother and enjoying a domestic life in GotSM, MAKE SENSE.

Will being an ass in TID is not that big of a deal. He was like those 12 to 17 years old, who go through shit at home, and then they got older, apologise and mature. Yes, he was traumatised by the death of his sister, yes he thought he was cursed, yes his only best friend was dying, and that made him act like a total loser and asswhole , and read Tatiana's diaries when he was 12, and call Tessa a whore when he was 17 (he was trying to protect her, he apologised, and she married him). As an older woman, who deals with kids in middle school and high school, it's not a big of deal, and it's actually laughable. Now, if he was like that in his 20s, 30s and 40s, I would say, fuck that man, but he did all of that when his frontal lobe was not developed. He was a mean bully, but not a murderer nor a criminal.

Same for Jessamine, her being a mean racist, and ableist child, does not make her a monster. She hated her life in the Institute, and only wanted to leave. The only big monstrous thing she did (I think), is putting The Book of the White in Tessa's room, and almost falsely incriminating her (when she knew how Shadowhunetrs treat Downworlders).

Ke Wen Yu is a real badass, and it's sad we don't know much about her.

CORTANA WAS IN THE CARE OF JONAH CARSTAIRS, HE WAS SUPPOSED TO GIVE IT TO HIS SON WHEN HE TURNED 18 YEARS OLD, THAT DID NOT HAPPEN, AND IT WENT TO ELIAS' KIDS. AFTER EMMA RETIRES, CORTANA SHOULD STAY IN THE FAMILY, AND GO TO MINA. THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

Tessa wen through a lot in TID and we don't talk enough about it.

that's all I can think of for now :)

[cabeswaterdrowned]

book recs? My fav books are trc, aftg, soc, shadowhunters/riordanverse etc and the likes (so basically the most basic literature taste known to man) thanks!

well I enjoy all of those and trc is my fav series so will give you a couple of my main fantasy recs along those lines or not dissimilar and throw in one of my fav thrillers which is very gay and explores dark themes for aftg adjacent rep, and then another suspense book i love. I sort of went with books i could draw some type of lines of comparison to at least one of the books you mentioned.

•The Diviners series by Libba Bray — this is my go to ya fantasy rec these days, it’s historical urban fantasy with some horror and mystery elements. It’s set in 1920’s New York, book one opens focusing mainly on Evie and a specific case of a ghost serial killer but introduces other chars, after the first book it becomes more about an ensemble cast of Diviners who have different supernatural powers and their dynamics, also the main antagonist is bigotry and hate which I’m aware is a concept that can be done poorly in fantasy and I won’t pretend every beat of it is flawless but it is my favorite example of a fantasy series take on that concept that I’ve read. More importantly stunning character work I especially adore the female chars among the diviners Evie Theta and Ling, Ling is one of the most special characters ever and these books should be worth reading because of her INTP canon ace lesbian with autistic swag realness alone. 

I definitely would recommend it to TID/TLH fans for the historical setting and atmosphere as well as some of the playing with man vs machine + to TRC/TDT fans for the characterization and also the second book is largely about Henry and Ling learning about their dream powers and developing a friendship through this and also Ling has a narrative foil in dreamspace she’s gay with just think some of those idea would resonate with trcers + to SoC fans for the ensemble dynamics. 

•The Gemma Doyle trilogy by Libba Bray

This is one I used to describe to people as The Gangsey all girls au set in Victorian London and that’s not fully accurate but it works enough to be a pitch, but basically it’s about this group of four girls who go to a boarding school together and discover a sort of parallel world where they can bee free and realize their ambitions detached from society, but in the real world they’ve awakened horrors they must deal with too. I need to reread this one but it was deeply formative, if you love messy complicated female friendship dynamics and paranormal/mystical plots that are just creepy enough this is for you. Also my favorite character in it is a gay blonde mean girl character who is ambitious and wants autonomy above all else but does also love her friends fiercely Felicity Worthington you will always be famous <3 if you enjoy Jessamine Lovelace and Grace Blackthorn from TSC she has strong parallels to both those chars imo and is better written/handled arc wise. But I will tell you that the other wlw char in the book who is her love interest dies there is byg, just so you no one gets mad at me for that. But still very worth the read imo. 

•The Daughter of Smoke and Bone trilogy by Laini Taylor

this series is a mix of urban fantasy and high fantasy, the first book is set mainly in Prague but large parts of the other books take place in a fantasy world called Eretz so there is a fun parallel worlds element. But it’s about Karou who is one of theee protagonists of the 2010s yet got paid dust justice for my girl, and she’s an art student in Prague who was raised by a family of monsters (chimeara), her surrogate father is Brimstone and he has a business of selling wishes for teeth that Karou sometimes helps with but is frustrated that she isn’t allowed to know why or what they’re for. Karou’s dynamics with the chimearas and with her best friends Zuzana who is also a wonderful character and inspo for my letterboxd url rabidfairy09, are really lovely and the prose is so beautiful… but the story really takes off when the love interest Akiva is introduced I won’t go into details about that because spoilers, but they have one of my absolute favorite romances in the genre that does subvert and play with those paranormal forbidden star crossed romance tropes in ways I think are quite fascinating. Books 2 and 3 are more complicated to describe there is an essential conflict between chimeras or devils vs angels in this world so there’s your modern tsc connection, and very lyrical prose although I find Lainis even lusher and more elegant than trc prose. 

• Sawkill Girls by Clara Legrand 

Ya horror book that I remember reading over the summer in high school and I think it’s a good summer read tonally, part of the plot is one of those stranded on an island survival stories but it’s less intense than like Yellowjackets (no cannibalism), I don’t actually have much to sell about the plot I just enjoyed the vibes and also there are lesbians one of whom is an ambitious driven abuse survivor who had an arc I remember really liking.

•Wild Beauty by Anna-Marie Mclemore I actually really love all the books by her I’ve read but I think this is a great one to start with. Basically there are multiple generations of women who are all witches living together (300 fox way vibes), and Estella has several cousins and she and them are all in love with the same woman who is the daughter of the man who owns the estate, and there’s a thing where boys and this family keep disappearing and then one of them shows up and resulting drama. The main romance is m/f but like all the female chars being bi, it is a good romance from my memory but the main event is the familial dynamics, the main character Estella’s arc around dealing with her internalized self hatred and a lot of anti colonial themes those anti colonial themes and themes of multigenerational trauma are very relevant in all the Mclemore I’ve read so yes, very much would read her starting with this book. Also very gorgeous prose as is in all her magical realism stuff. 

•this one is already quite popular on tumblr so you may have read it but The Folk of the Air series by Holly Black, if you enjoy the cutthroat gang in SoC and that high fantasy world I think you would enjoy it I also get some Zoya vibes as well as Kaz vibes from Jude the main heroine. Won’t bother with detailed description because again, very popular books. 

•Wayward Children series by Seanan McGuire

basically a series of portal fantasies or fairytales for adults, they are all novellas and it’s an ongoing series following several different chars not all of whom appear in each book. But I enjoy them and I think if you like Riordanverse this is like an adult fantasy take on similar concepts in a way, even though it’s not directly mythology based.

•The Locked Tomb series by Tamsyn Muir

This is the other tumblr popular series on the list and has a good amount of overlap with trc/aftg/soc fans so will only give the brief pitch that it’s adult sci fantasy and about lesbian necromancers in space. You will be very confused at least some of the time but it is worth it, trust me. 

•Black Iris by Leah Raeder 

new adult psychological thriller with a sapphic romance that slaps so hard. Delaney Keatings is one of my favorite unreliable narrators and also just an A+ character, there’s not a lot I can say about the actual plot because a lot of it is psychological but will give one other plot hint: vigilantes. Definitely look up trigger warnings before reading this there’s a lot about homophobia and also references to sexual violence, drug use a lot more it’s very in line with Aftg in terms of like, grittiness in that regard. Do highly recommend. 

•Dare Me by Megan Abbott 

like with Mclemore I love this author in general and would recommend everything I’ve read by her but this was my first book of hers so it’s a good introduction, and also a lot of it is about girls on a cheer team having homoerotic psychosexual dynamics as well as the murder, so it’s also in line with aftg thematically in that way. gay sports media. 

There are a lot of others but I don’t want to make this list ridiculously long so… here are some recs <3 thank you so much anon for letting me ramble and I hope you like them!

[emmalovesfitzloved]

Last question, who are your fav downwolders and why?

Ahh… well it has to be….

The one….

The only….

💫Magnus Bane! 🥂

(Art credit: @cassandrajean )

Queue the music!

Now. Reasons reasons reasons. Where to begin.

I took my time thinking about this question bc there are quite a few downworlders I have an affinity to. But the showdown where it was REALLY hard to pick one or the other was the battle of the warlocks…

Tessa or Magnus.

On the one hand, I love Tessa So much (wrote a piece on why you can find here hehe) and I truly think she is a timeless character (well before she became literally timeless ie. immortal) and her influence throughout the shadowhunter world is iconic, relevant and enduring.

(Art credit: @giannyfili )

However… her choices and inner narrative became a bit clumsy dealt with and a bit inconsistent unlike Magnus’s, as the shadowhunter novels went on. Of course, characters are allowed to change, grow, develop at any age, but her character felt slightly manipulated in the writing? All for the sake of peddling the plot. Not to get TOO into the whole herongraystairs touchy topic but I do think as I’ve grown up and done over a handful of rereads I do spot the slight manipulation that started then, which kind of set a precedence in her character throughout. I adore Jem but he as well was felt a bit clumsily. Topic for another time.

Meanwhile Magnus, while through his own self discoveries and through his own immortalities feels more cleaner in plot. He’s necessary, vibrant, witty and is that character that you ALWAYS look forward to reading. He is That character that just lights up a room and you wait with baited breath on what he’s going to say next. His air of lightness that he brings into every interaction makes you be able to read and listen to him all day long. With long promises made of laughter, sage advice, experience, history and adventure.

“I've got a stele we can use. Who wants to do me?""A regrettable choice of words," muttered Magnus (City of Ashes).

And because of this, when he is being serious, his words strike you when you least expect it and leave you stunned.

“You endure what is unbearable, and you bear it. That is All” (Clockwork Princess).

His bisexuality was handled wonderfully, and was truly one of the first stories I think our generation read where the sexual identity wasn’t about coming out but already at the stage of acceptance and fun loving. He remains respectful and doesn’t want Alec to rush out of the closet but rather does the best thing- inspire Alec to be the best version of himself in life which is finite. That’s the best thing a partner can really do for you.

However he isn’t a Mary Sue bc in every series he stars in the reader sees his vulnerabilities in pure daylight. And also has a plot line that challenges his Yodha immortal dogmas. Will being one weakness of his in TID, Camille and how she mistreated him and being alone in a very sad world. I don’t think these topics were explored nearly as well with Tessa.

“You left me. You made a pet out of me, and then you left me. If love were food, I would have starved on the bones you gave me” (City of Fallen Angels).

And of course, his relationship and development with Alec is my top 3 relationships in all the shadowhunter world. It felt natural, wonderful, sizzling, exciting and steadfast. Didn’t feel too young or naive like I sometimes feel when reading Clace, but new enough to feel like the honeymoon will never end. And I think in part it’s because of Magnus bringing out the best in people, and how Alec chose him. Of all the people Magnus helps out, he actually doesn’t really ask much in return. But for once Alec did a double take on him and let Magnus take the reins of where their relationship will lead them. With great readership payoff 🥹💍

“You could give me the past,“ he said a little sadly. “But Alec is my future” (City of Fallen Angels).

(Art credit: kasirose)

In fact, he has SO much to offer we got standalones, his own mini series with his partner and constant features in further novellas stories. There is no other character in the Shadowhunter chronicles who has been that centre stage as him. And he deserves all of it.

Favourite Swiftie songs that r HIS:

• BEJEWELED

• Begin Again

• Welcome to New York

• You’re in Love

• Karma

• You’re Not Sorry

• Ours

• I Know Places

• You’re on Your Kid

• Castles Crumbling

• The Last Great American Dynasty

• The 1

• Hoax

So yeah the superlative for the best Downworlder has to go to the delightfully and wonderfully written…

Magnus Bane <3

(Art credit: kasirose)

So yeah! I hope the answer makes up for the wait @imabitchforjemcarstairs ILY! And thank you so much for the lovely ask!

P.s. if any artist doesnt want to be affiliated, kindly DM me and I’ll remove your lovely art and mention from the post :))

[fairdale]

What is your LEAST favourite canon ship from each TSC saga? And why?

humm... i'm guessing you mean from more "main ones" so i won't go for the easy ones and say, for example, robert and maryse or charles and alastair.

SO, let's get started

tid: i think jessamine had something going on for a while right...? might be wrong, i still haven't reread it. ANYWAY, i have to say that i ADORE all the ship froms tid, but i'm gonna say cecily and gabriel only because we only see them in one book (though i love them a lot too and i was always hoping to get to their scenes).

tmi: can i say jordan and maia? i'm gonna say jordan and maia. i didn't hate them (let's see how i feel about them after my reread bc i don't remember a lot), but yeah... them. i remember feeling a little uncomfy with them idk why. again, i'll be back to say what i think now that i'm older.

tda: i genuinely love kierarktina and julian and emma and since those are the main ones from here (i'm not counting kitty)... huh, dru and jaime? can we even count that as a ship? or... and don't hate me, kit and livvy. *runs*

tlh: again, i like all of these so i'm choosing just bc i have to, but i don't dislike them. i think i'll say lucie and jesse. listen. i like them. i like them a lot. but i have to say someone djlgfkld (well... actually kit and grace... huh). i want to reread tlh to sort my feelings already jskldjsg i just have mixed feelings bc i love the books but idk *rambling*

and tec i won't do for obvious reasons and twp we don't know yet so! this is it

[darcyolsson]

In the shadowhunter universe i think the circle has the most amount of fucked up relationships. Like everybodys got complex outside the norm relationships with at least two other members. The circle is so fascinating to me. The most popular and charismatic guy is evil and the few people who figure it out takes forever to do so. People are properly rebelling against their parents. They make themself a big menace as teenagers. And on the other side youve got the downworlders reaction to this. Tessa and Magnus are heartbroken. They give up on Stephen. There is so much going on but we are given so little.

YEAH i think the circle is such an underexplored aspect of the tsc universe!! i highly doubt we'll ever get any sort of series or even a full side book dedicated to them but the tidbits of info we do have from the short stories are so fascinating. it honestly brought some much-needed nuance to the tmi parents, bc even though we do have a few details about what went down (like the circle originally not being anti-downworlders, but sort of gradually moving in that direction after valentine's father died) i did feel like tmi left me wondering a bit how they all ended up as a part of an extremist group.

my favourite thing about the circle is that, at least at the start, they all have very similar views to the tmi gang: that the clave is corrupt in many ways (objectively true), and needs to be reformed. especially in tftsa it's a statement we hear simon say over and over and over again and i just LOVE that juxtaposition, the implication that if a different kind of person had gotten a hold of simon & clary and even the rest of the gang they could've ended up exactly like their parents.

and tbh, i just love reading about the circle and their drama and misery, lol. i love it when characters act really terribly i love it when characters manipulate & get manipulated and are then eaten alive by guilt. the evil we love is a gem, just robert experiencing flop after flop and ruining everyone's lives. and then becoming miserable for the rest of his life because of it. genuinely very fun. i think cc does morally gray characters very well (when she wants to, which is rarely </3) and i just love to watch miserable people be miserable what can i say!!

also, so true what you said about fucked up relationships. the circle didnt fit into the big love web i made for all of tsc because there's nothing linking them to any of the tmi/tid/tda/etc characters (thank god lmfao), but behold, i made them their own tiny love dodecahedron for funsies:

is it more contained than the 74-people big tsc love web*? perhaps. is it any less insane? absolutely not.

*which, by the way, misses many people, as i've found out in my tmi and novella reread. but they dont fit on there so i'll have to recreate it in its entirety if i want everyone to fit, which is not something i want to spend my time doing, because i am insane but not that insane

[bearsinpotatosacks]

2 thoughts now I'm rereading Lady Midnight.

I feel that TDA as a series was more of a series to take us from the post TMI world of the cold peace, where the blackthorns were at etc, and take us to the world that TWP is going to take place in. Now I've read TMI and TID, I do feel TDA is the outlier for not having an external big bad to fight. TMI has Valentine and Sebastian. TID has Mortmain. From what I've read, TLH has Belial. TDA doesn't have that, I guess it has the Clave, or the Parabatai bond, but no singular figure. It feels different to me, the characters feel more isolated, there's less of a connection to traditional shadowhunter things I feel, like Alicante, the Silent City, etc are just missing. This isn't me being mean, just an observation.

Second thought is that I feel you can tell CC had written a few book series at the point of writing TDA because Julian and Emma are much more realistic. Now we're getting into more personal opinions here, but I am in two minds about Julian. On the one hand, I respect how devoted he is to his family and how endearing it is.

But on the other, rereading Lady Midnight knowing that Diana is trans, makes a lot of Julian's anger toward her occasionally hurt more. This specifically got to me when he lashed out at her for going away, after he and Emma had their night on the beach, and Emma's with Cristina following Sterling, he digs into Diana about they "shouldn’t depend on her" and "They don’t really expect you to be around" when she leaves. Yes, he's just lashing out from the pressure of running an institute and taking care of his siblings from age 12 but it's just heartbreaking because he's being so undeservingly hurting, but it only feels this way because of what I know in hindsight.

All of this is to say, Julian and Emma are more realistic, at least to me, because their flaws are shown and are more realistic. The way Julian says "you've always belonged to me and I've always, always belonged to you" and "If you die, I die". It goes as well with Emma, I think that's why upon rereading, I'm not a fan of blackstairs. I don't dislike them, I'm just not a fan of them and their vibe? I don’t know how to describe it.

Anyway, just some thoughts

[dreamofmysoul-tsc]

TSC characters as Taylor Swift songs because I’m rereading City of Bones and feeling nostalgic:

TMI

Clary: Fearless

Jace: Don’t Blame Me

Izzy: Style

Alec: couldn’t decide between The Archer (obv) and Delicate

Simon: Nothing New

Magnus: Long Live

Raphael: epiphany

Lily: I Think He Knows

Sebastian: Better Man (this was hard but i went with this song because i always think of Sebastian as what he could've been instead of what he was)

TID

Tessa: Sweet Nothing or Last Kiss

Will: State of Grace

Jem: Forever Winter

Cecily: Hey Stephen

Gabriel: Daylight

Sophie: You Are In Love

Gideon: Untouchable

Henry: Paper Rings

Charlotte: Treacherous

Jessamine: hoax

TDA

Emma: So It Goes

Julian: Run

Kit: Innocent

Ty: Come Back…Be Here

Livvy: Bigger Than the Whole Sky

Cristina: Maroon

Mark: Today Was A Fairytale

Kieran: ivy

Helen: long story short

Aline: Dancing With Our Hands Tied

Dru: Out of the Woods

Diana: Wildest Dreams

Ash: You're On Your Own, Kid

Jaime: Midnight Rain

Diego: closure

TLH

James: betty

Cordelia: cardigan and champagne problems

Matthew: august or Anti-Hero

Jesse: the lakes

Lucie: Enchanted

Christopher: Everything Has Changed

Thomas: Paris

Alastair: All Too Well (pre-Thomas), Begin Again (post-Thomas)

Ari: Breathe

Anna: The Great War

Grace: The Lucky One

Eugenia: You Need To Calm Down

Tatiana: mad woman

Short Story Characters/Misc.

Robert: Haunted

Michael: Sad Beautiful Tragic

Jocelyn: tolerate it

Luke: Mary's Song

Amatis: This Love

Catarina: it's time to go

Hypatia: Bejeweled

Ragnor: cowboy like me

Maryse: We Were Happy

Valentine: This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things

Celine: illicit affairs

Stephen: Mr. Perfectly Fine

Rosemary: Never Grow Up

*i didn't include the little ones because we don't know much of their personalities yet! but i still adore them 💕

[idk-i-just-really-like-tsc]

anyway here’s my two cents on who’s making the cut for these 10 shadowhunter romance stories!! (See Cassandra Clare’s latest announcement about better in black)

tid: idk i feel like this could be a rogue Sophie/gideon or cecily/Gabriel moment. or wessa with jem existing too. who really knows but all of the above i would enjoy <3

tlh: um maybe hopefully plz thomas and Alastair we barely got to see them actually be a couple I feel like so that would be fun. I would also love a luciejesse or herondaisy moment <3

tmi: um well OBVIOUSLY this is what I’m most excited for because i have a normal attatchment to the characters of the mortal instruments. ANYWAY i want sizzys proposal in full detail. we got the clace and the malec ones give them the lovely proposal that i deserve to read. pay them RESPECT. i would also looooove a clace story like any at all. i love and miss them dearly. I would also love a malec story with the kids bc we have literally hardly seen into their family life after they got Rafael but maybe that’s what tec3 is for idk cassandra doesn’t acknowledge its existence. but also if they’ve had two books I’m not exactly sure if she’s writing more about them. DO NOT GET ME WRONG!!! I would loooooove more malec content im not an IDIOT but like idk. but also they’re fan favorites so i just don’t know. im trying to see into cassandra’s mind and it’s not working. i would also actually drop dead to the floor and cease to exist if it was centered around the tmi gang as a whole going on a date night all together triple date moment!!! THATS what i want but i think that’s a bit idk it’s j not gonna happen. unfortunately for me. whatever ill take what i can get and reread the brunch story. I love the brunch story.

tda: well Cassandra’s use of the word throuple makes me assume it’s a safe bet to think one of them will be kierarktina but there’s also the delusional thought that she’s talking about herongraystairs. so idk abt that but yeah kierartina. a Diana and Gwyn moment would also be like somewhat shocking but fun and fresh. idk there’s not that many tda couples tbh. emma and Julian already got their moment in sobh and i don’t wanna read about them so I’m hoping it’s not them. idk

misc: the thing is i feel like this project is very ambiguous bc the theme is just live and romance so it could be anything like people who were never officially couples. unrequited love is fun. kit and ty moment. but also they’re the focus of twp so im just not gonna go there and Cassie may not either. i was also thinking abt this and a malcolm and annabelle story would be reallyyy interesting. also they don’t really fit into one specific series but they’re around in tec,tmi and tda bc they’re awesome i would LOVE a Helen and aline centered story like tell me about their time on wrangel island because we know next to nothing about that seemingly important place and what the hell goes on there. and helen and aline get fuck all in these books. anyway. that’d be a good time. also like. she said there may be some spice . but like i want love confessions and silly goofy character moments and actual stories not just characters going at it yk. so liek what are the vibes here cassandra…

this post got really fucking long for no reason feel free to leave YOUR thoughts on what you want to see in these stories <3

[dragoncookies]

(PT 2) STELLARLUNE ANALYZATION: Chapters 3-5

(foreword) This is a series where I go through each chapter of Stellarlune and dissect it for y’all. I bring up things you might have missed, the importance of what is said and what happens in each chapter, how it might relate to the book as a whole or how it might relate to the series as a whole. This book might seem boring and useless, but when you look at it, it’s really just a book that steps back and reflects on the whole series. It’s like the series is taking a refreshing deep breath and putting everything from the past together, so it can go and deliver a WILDLY  wonderful ending. All I can say is that the book gets way sweeter on the second read, and it might be too early to say, but my guess is that it’ll age finer than wine.

(excuse my grammar/spelling mistakes)

Chapters 3-5:

I’ll be honest, these chapters were a little sluggish, but at the same time...it was interesting to read about Gisela and Cassius lore. I’ll say why later in this post, but It was dark and creepy and tense; well written. There’s also a bunch of notable tid-bits in these scenes from Cassius’s memory and just what he has to say. He’s not a useless character or a 2d character, that’s for sure. Lets dive in, shall we?

SUMMARIES:

(because I forget too)

Ch 3 summary: Sophie shows up at Cassius’s house and they banter for a bit after Sophie tells him that Keefe ran away. Sophie originally went there to get Cassius’s pathfinder so she could look for Keefe in the Forbidden cities, but Cassius tells her he’s working on another assignment from the Black Swan that has to do with the trollish treaty and such after what happened at Everglen (in flashback). He also has a memory he recovered that Lady Gisela tried to wipe from his mind, so Sophie agreed to watch it. 

Ch 4 summary: Sophie and Cassius watching the memory

Ch 5 summary: Sophie and Cassius banter about the following→ Cassius’s parenting, whether or not Sophie should keep looking for Keefe (she shouldn’t) or if letting Gisela finish the final step of Stellarlune on Keefe is a good idea.

Ch 3:

Sophie REALLY hates Cassius. Like, the Cassius slander is HEAVY throughout this chapter. She just gotta quip at his behavior for every reason. 

One thing that is made strikingly clear by Sophie’s conversations with Cassius is how emotionally driven she is, especially when compared to Cassius’s almost purely objective approach to things. They’re almost foils of each other, in this sense.

Also, the dialogue in the first few pages of this chapter is lowkey entertaining, even from Ro. 

“’If Keefe had come home with me-’

‘he would’ve run off even faster,’ Ro finished for him. ‘Probably would’ve left a Keefe shaped hole in one of these walls.’” (page 36). 

Haha funny for no reason. Anyways.

Ro is REALLY given an actual purpose (as are a shocking majority of the characters) as I continue to reread through stellarlune. As much as I cannot stand how nosy and obnoxious Ro can be, her background has a whole chunk of the dialogue in this chapter. I will have far more to say on Ro’s character when we get to the part where she actually leaves later on so stay tuned for that.

Now, with Lord Cassius here, we have been shown an important revelation on the current state of political affairs in the Lost Cities, and a reminder that the Black Swan is a little bigger than we thought. It makes me curious as to what other things go on behind the scenes in the Black Swan. 

Also: Sophie said she really does hate secrets. Why did sophie say she hates secrets when her wanting privacy is literally the whole point of conflict between her and Fitz for the entire previous book and the rest of Stellarlune???? Smh.

The troll treaty negotiations are stalled at the moment!!!! Empress Pernille has closed the borders and doesn’t want the elves messing with them atm, basically. This means there MIGHT be more mutant trolls. Wild. The trolls want to be isolated from everyone…which is kind of what the neverseen wants if we’re being honest…scary. 

One question: Why does the black swan want to protect the councilors from being overthrown if there’s so much emphasis on how the councilors are flawed? What is the point? 

CH4:

This is where I notice things really start to get interesting in this book. 

I love when Shannon describes telepathy. Like all the “swooping and spinning” and “sinking into warmth” and describing the mind like a room makes me imagine Sophie and everyone else as little glowing people in the mind, navigating the endless maze. She describes it so vividly, its so fun to imagine being Sophie when she gets blasted by wind or goes on a rollercoaster-esc loop, or goes somewhere small and quiet, or just somewhere blue. Like that is so cool, who goes ahead describes a mind like that? And every mind in the series is different too. It's just so cool. Anyways. Back to Gisela and Cassius lore. 

This chapter really makes you think about Cassius’s and Gisela’s relationship. Its important to understand, since Gisela is like a main villain giving her character depth (like what her relationship with Cassius was exactly like) makes her feel like a REAL person, more like us. Which makes her scarier. 

This scene is where Gisela throws away her act of just wanting Keefe to be strong to make her and Cassius look good. 

Man, from the first read, it really seems like Shannon is trying to redeem Cassius with this memory. “gosh Shannon, please don’t redeem Cassius…please stop trying to redeem him”, but it’s less “poor Cassius” and more we just get to understand Cassius, because what I get out of this is that Cassius really loved Gisela, and Gisela was just using him to have a strong baby (which is sort of like the entire flaw of matchmaking…hmmm…). Like when Gisela starts explaining all these wack things she’s doing, he’s just completely shocked. Like she really flat out told him that his role was done, and he’d already provided his DNA so she didn’t need him anymore. No wonder Cassius said the memory was personal, I would be HEARTBROKEN. He’s not the best, but maybe there’s a reason he’s so cold…

If you hadn’t before, you REALLY start to see how creepy Gisela is, too. At the end of this chapter, Gisela just drugs him, and as his world slowly fades to black she whispers “don't fight it, it’ll all be over soon enough” (paraphrasing page 57). Damn she's creepy. Just, her carelessly messing with Cassius’s heart for her own gain, and doing painful horrible things to herself, to Cassius and to their relationship...she’s so sick omg. She really built Cassius the whole illusion of a happy marriage. What if Cassius was actually a happy surfer guy before Gisela? Maybe thats why his getaway is on the beach. Who knows? Maybe Gisela ruined an avid beach-boys listener and a regular cowabunger. Its all so messed up, but the theme of the importance of family is strengthened through all of this. 

What I start to wonder as I read through this chapter is…why? Why does Gisela want Keefe to be super powerful? WHY does she want to rule the world? 

She mentions she wants to harness all the elements because she believes it will make her ultra-powerful, but for WHAT? 

Gisela talking about the elements also reminds me how elemental elves are. They really are such nature-y beings. Little hippies. Talking to plants. Never killing animals. Using scrolls. No technology and A LOT of living with nature’s cycles. They see so much power in elements that Gisela is convinced she can be all-powerful if she uses all them. I ought to start seeing the elven world in a more woodsy aesthetic lmao. Alas, Shannon’s world-building never ends. 

The most important thing we learn in this chapter is that Keefe needs to go through one last step to really finish his transformation of his abilities. Yay!

Ch5:

Cassius’s mind was really messy after the memory, so he definitely did love her and he’s definitely messed up by that. Even Shannon’s most hateable characters get backstory and understanding, so you don't have to like what they did but it makes the story she’s telling so enriching. 

This chapter highlights how stubborn or blindsighted by emotions Sophie can be, but at least she can be persuaded. She neglects that Cassius has an OBJECTIVE approach and thinks he has a COLD HEARTED approach, and struggles to wrap her brain around the concept that Cassius could actually, in fact, be right in his suggestion that Keefe needs to finish the process of his new abilities to function properly. The fact that she sees “cold hearted” and “objective” as synonymous proves that she’s just a very emotionally driven person, which is important to understand, considering the entire series is from her point of view and if we really want to understand the story we have to understand how Sophie might tell the story. 

Also, Sophie JUST NOW realizes how she probably should have read through the archetype before she burned it. Nice one girly. I’m sorry I bag on her so much during these first few chapters, it gets better later I promise.  AND WHAT WAS THIS SHANNON:

“Lord Cassius couldn’t be right...

...

...

...could he?” (page 62). 

TAKE AWAY HER ENTER BUTTON. Made me chortle a little but like Shannon what. 

Not much else to say about this chapter. The last page was a masterpiece, though. 

“Let him take care of himself, he’s been doing it his whole life” (page 66). 

I’m not all about the endless Keefe sob story we get throughout the series, but the way it's told on page 66 is quite sad and impactful. Like oof, the self-actualization from Cassius and the cold hard truth…ouch Shannon. That hurt. Chefs kiss to the writing but yeowch. 

Overall, these few chapters are pretty satisfying because both Cassius and Sophie change a little. Cassius starts off presented as his usual hateable self, but by the end of these chapters you feel a little heavier, a little older and a little colder because of him. He just gets deeper as a character. Sophie changes her mind about finding Keefe and actually listens to Cassius’s reasoning, which is important because it changes the trajectory of this section of the book. It would have been ooc for her to just not care or decide on her own not to find Keefe because she cares about Keefe ALOT (a lil too much sometimes I’ll be honest), but it did take 5 chapters to get to this point. She also could have gone on a mission to look for Keefe, but thank goodness she decided not to, for the sake of the plot and the other characters. Victory!

She really does talk to herself a lot. 

Anyways, stay tuned for more!

[edwin-paynes-bowtie]

what do you think is your no.1 most unpopular tsc opinion?

This is rough because I think I have a lot of unpopular opinions.

I love Chain of Thorns and find TLH to be immensely satisfying. I think that the entire TLH group consists of extremely strong characters. I think TLH is as just good as TID objectively if not better.

I think Cordelia is an extremely strong and wonderful protagonist. I Herondaisy is my favourite "main" ship and my favourite ship period besides Thomastair.

I really like the TLH "love triangle" between James/Cordelia/Matthew and think that everyone else has read it fundamentally incorrectly. I always am ready to go off about this at a moment's notice. It's Herondaisy plotline + Matthew's mental health plotline intersecting. It's not about CoRdELiA cHoOsEs BeTwEeN MeN because she made her choice when she was like 13. And Matthew knows it. And everyone knows it. I actually think this "love triangle" is genius and it's probably in my top 5 favorite TSC storylines.

I hate TDA, very much view it as TSC's only weak link, and would rather have bleach poured in my eyes than ever reread it.

Related note: I would kill Julian Blackthorn where he stood if given the opportunity and think he's a literal evil sociopath.

I unironically like TMI a lot. I think it's an incredibly fun and fast-paced series that has one of the best found families I have ever seen. Clace, Malec, and Sizzy are all super sweet ships.

I also unabashedly love Cassie herself as well as her world-building and writing style. I am very at peace with her being one of my biggest writing role models even when it feels sometimes like the entire fandom has Beef with her.

I love Tessa in the historical canon and consider her one of my fave characters, but avoid her scenes in the modern ones if I reread them. Same dealio for Jem (though I don't ever think of him as a favorite, I do really like him in TID). I think Will has been massively shafted by the way that TSC is structured and will always be really salty about Wessa. However, I do really, really like Herongraystairs and am glad that they will be the heavenly endgame.

I think that my overall most unpopular opinion though is sadly that

I REALLY LOVE THE TSC CANON.

I don't really feel any need to fuck with it beyond like, in-depth character studies and fluffy little oneshots that show the characters/friendships/ships in new situations that bring their strengths to light. I love writing fic, but I want my fic to supplement the canon rather than fight against it.

[purplebass]

can you name which ships or characters? To know not to expect more fics of them soon, thanks!Also if you could give some reasons that made you change your mind during rereading the stories under a "read more" I would love to know

I just wanted to say that even though these ships may not be in my "to write about" list soon, it doesn't mean that I won't write about them anymore... just not now

Well, since I mostly write about TSC and TID/TLH, of course some ships are going to be from there. I want to underline that THIS IS NOT AN ANTI POST, btw. Aat least it doesn't seem anti to me, I don't get deeper into the specific reasons from canon I don't want to write about them at the moment, I am being very vague here and about my personal reasons why I can't

The first ship is Jordelia. I was so invested in them when I first read COG, and back then I even began a long fic about them. I had playlists made and all, had a ton of ideas. COI and then COT sunk the interest I had and now it's below ground, basically. This is probably the first CC series where I don't care about the main ship at all. After my reread, my feelings got even stronger, but I do not let them get my down. I tried writing a fic with them alone, but I couldn't bring myself to. Every time I think about them, my mind is blank. I like to include them in other fan fics because I enjoy writing their dynamics with other characters, though.

The second is Gracetopher. I like them enough, but they are hard to write to me, and I often am scared of disappointing people with my characterization of them (since I know a lot of people who like them). The last fan fic of them I posted got some backlash from one specific user, and that also turned me off because, not going to lie, I am afraid that if I post a new fic, this user is going to show up to criticize me again and I don't know if I can take it a second time. So, since they are hard to write for me, I just try to include them in my other works if I can, but I am not planning to write them (even though I have a few ideas on my fic notebook).

The last ship is probably Gabrily, because it's the other TID ship I've written about. I like them, of course, but I don't have any ideas about them at the moment and I want to focus on something else :)

[wondereads]

Weekly Reading Update (07/10/23)

Reviews and thoughts under the cut

The Assassin's Blade by Sarah J. Maas (6/10)

This book was one I just read to move on to the next book. I was told to read this one before Queen of Shadows, so I did. I did find some parts interesting, such as Celaena's time in the desert, and Arobynn Hamel has to be one of the most interesting characters in the whole series. However, I do wish this were an optional installment as it was kind of boring. It didn't feel like we got any insight into Celaena's character, rather just rehashes of what has appeared in previous books, and towards the end I was skimming. Also, I'm sorry, but Sam doesn't really hold any appeal for me. The romantic plotline was rushed and he was acting so weird towards the end.

The Stolen Heir by Holly Black (10/10)

I was so nervous; as the successor to Folk of the Air, The Stolen Heir had a lot to live up to, and it did. I absolutely adored Wren; she is a complex main character who is still easy to root for, and Black has continued to write amazing, unhinged female main characters. As in Folk of the Air, the use of faerie rules to trick the audience along with the characters is done very well, and there's some great foreshadowing in there. Concerning Oak, I'd seen a lot of people online saying he was a Cardan carbon copy, but I really don't see it. He's polite, considerate, and well-raised, but he also has a shocking capacity for violence, which is incredibly interesting. The twist at the end was amazing, particularly concerning Wren and Oak's relationship going forward, and I can't wait to read the second book!

Clockwork Angel by Cassandra Clare (8/10)

While this book isn't perfect and is somewhat dated by its use of certain tropes and plot points, The Infernal Devices is without a doubt much better than The Mortal Instruments. It definitely has its similarities (the premise and mystery of birth behind the main characters are notably alike), but it has also really improved. Tessa, while still a little passive and nondescript in terms of character, isn't just a cookie cutter protagonist, and it's actually really interesting to see how the time period affects her opinions. The plot is kind of slow, but it's much less predictable and more imaginative. Also, TID probably has one of the best-written (and best-resolved in Clockwork Princess) love triangles in YA. Both Will and Jem have their own appeal, and they are distinct from one another while still being close in a unique way. I'm enjoying my reread so far!

Neverseen by Shannon Messenger (CR, 23%)

Something I can tell about this book is that it's definitely going to be slower book. Now that Sophie and her friends are with the Black Swan, a lot of the focus is on Sophie's powers and their interpersonal relationships. I have a feeling there's going to be some actual development in the romance angle, but I think it will be ending some of those feelings rather than recognizing them, which is honestly long overdue. I really hope Biana gets some more attention in this book, as she's been kind of neglected in the last two.

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir (CR, 19%)

This book is so good so far. This book is funny, sarcastic, compelling, and very confusing, just the way I like them. I'm not super far in, but I already have a connection to the main character, Gideon, and her childhood friend/enemy/employer Harrowhark. I'm quite invested in their relationship, which seems very complicated. The worldbuilding is very interesting so far, especially politically, and the pacing is good. I can't wait to continue.

The Serpent and the Wings of Night by Clarissa Broadbent (CR, 9%)

Finally, this book is kind of a side project to read whenever I'm in the mood for a fantasy romance. It's actually quite good so far, with a pretty good plot and interesting characters. The main character seems to break from the mold of the typical NA romantasy protagonist, and her surrogate father definitely has my attention.

[navree]

How do you feel about The Mortal Instruments nowadays? Do you remember that series fondly or is it something you consider embarrassing and cringey?

It's a mix, honestly.

I'm always going to have a soft spot for it no matter what, because I started it at around 13, and Magnus Bane was the first bisexual character I'd ever read about, let alone who explicitly defined himself as bisexual, and that was really what kickstarted my own personal journey in coming to terms with my sexuality, so I'm always gonna like it for that (also Magnus is just great, I still love him, I have literally reread The Bane Chronicles within the last twelve months). And I like most of the worldbuilding and the plots of the first two series and I enjoy most of the characters and I had a good time reading the series and going back to it on occasion. It's a good book series and decently well-written and I've enjoyed it.

But there is some stuff that's soured for me within the series. I don't think a lot of the periphery relationships were very well done, like Simon/Isabelle and Sophie/Gideon and Maia/Jordan (really a lot of what was done with Maia in regards to the love triangle and her relationship with Jordan and her independent arcs felt badly done, which becomes a whole Thing when you remember that Maia is one of only two main characters of color in the TMI cast and the only WOC). I think the reasons for the Will/Tessa/Jem love triangle were incredibly contrived and overwrought, and also I do not ship Jem and Tessa at all, it felt really forced when they got together in the present day (Will/Jem is more interesting to me far and away, that dynamic means the most to me out of the main three in TID). COHF also just felt really overcrowded and padded to oblivion in a way that it didn't need to be, and the plot kinda nonsensical, as well as the fact that keeping so much open-ended, while good for the upcoming series, made it not as good of a finale to that story that it could have been (still good, just not as good as I think it could be). And the incest thing is a lot, especially in the latter half when it wasn't just "Jace and Clary THINK they're related" but "Sebastian KNOWS he and Clary are related and keeps trying to assault her about it". It doesn't feel like it's put in there for any purpose at all except that Cassie Clare finds it hot, which, fair I guess? but kinda pointless and not the most interesting thing for me.

Also, as someone who was in the single digits when it all went down, finding out about the msscribe stuff via the When Posting Goes Wrong video in 2020, after I'd already kinda left the series behind was certainly not boosting my opinion of Cassie Clare and her work. All in all, a mixed bag. Some stuff I look back on fondly and still enjoy, and some stuff where I don't necessarily cringe, but definitely acknowledge that I'm far more critical of it now than I was at fourteen.