#the thing that frightens you most....
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that one dynamic meme
#michael has the hugest most frightened eyes in existence deer in the headlights stare looking everywhere but not at you#i think I'm right#my art#the magnus archives#michael shelley#gerry keay#gerard keay#this is just a silly thing but the contrast in eye contact makes sense to me with gerry being heavily marked by the eye#and michael marked by the spiral since childhood#shifty gaze where you can't quite pinpoint his eye colour vs the far-too-knowledgeable stare you know
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THE HIGH PRIESTESS Upright:
Intuitive insight and wisdom
Secrets, mystery
Trust yourself and your instincts
THE HIGH PRIESTESS Reversed:
Blocked sight/insight/intuition
You’ve lost touch with yourself
Keep your secrets – don’t share quite yet
[Image Description: A coloured pencil drawing of Tiff Webber from Smile For Me sitting on a stool and holding a stand microphone to her chest and her record contract in her lap. She’s smiling, and there are silver moon and star decals in her hair. She’s in the Lounge, and behind her are the edges of posters and the record player. End ID.]
Here’s my piece for the 1 Free 4Tune Zine! @echobsilly and @kiwicartwheels organised this anniversary zine, and I’m delighted to have been a part of it. It turned out so well! Absolutely check out the amazing website at sfmzine.neocities.org, made by @fridgefeet!
#reblog#tiff webber#tarot card#fanart#I always said Tiff was like an ocean of serenity amongst the other Habitcians#And thats what it looks like here. Peace.....#When you wake...#the thing that frightens you most....#will still exist.#And Tiff says that we're all just living our lives#curiously similar to Ronbos C'est La Vie quoted by Kamal in the bad ending#Theres an underlying ...messiness. Disturbed currents. Craters on the moon.#Yet still the night sky opens in vast expanse....a small reflection of the true depth of space#Man I dunno getting too fancy with words here but I see her as a girl with a big heart#Despite how sorta resigned she comes off I think like#her music is like her outlet for all those feelings#you just have to listen carefully#to know her world#She did orchestrate the Platitudes finale song and man how honey-sweet that was#A little bit of this is headcanon'ing but I love characters to have a touch of whimsy about them#which perfectly describes this drawing!!! cutesy and adorable and precious and WHIMSICAL#I can hear the stars in her hair twinkling#it looks mysterious to me in the way that when youre a kid#you see a storybook illustration so richly and satisfyingly colored#that you run your hands over the pages and treasure every moment#this is the kind of art then#that inspires stories. even if they dont know the game!#rambled but basically looking at this is like smelling a jasmine- instant calm LOL#My favorite bit has to be the golden light#this sounds like Starlight Waltz by Ponyphonic....
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11.03.24 “Happily Ever After” 💔
Chapter 3 of The Damsel has my whole heart!! It’s everything that I wanted!! 😭
#The Pristine Cut#STP The Damsel#Pristine Cut Spoilers#STP Spoilers#Voice of the Smitten#The Long Quiet#Slay the Princess#// gore#fan art#bro when I said that Smitten could get SCARY but this time I MEANT IT#low key one of the most powerful and frightening voices you can have on your side#I’m so glad Damsel got expanded more#like the symbolism of the chain binding her is no longer on her wrist but around her NECK#“a nice cage is still a cage”#With the thing meant to kill her being placed like a harmless trinket when it's literally RIGHT NEXT TO HER HEART#and the themes of being forced into a normative relationship b/c of what's considered “romantic” w/o consideration for the ppl involved
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Take a good look… with Gyo.
#togashi NOT fucking around with the new chapter omg#the way this was only the second most frightening thing I’ve seen today#the first of course being the insane nose dive in animation quality uzumaki took#ah well at least we have episode 1 ✨#but on topic I’m so glad hxh is back and that togashi is not just able to work again but to work at such a high level again 🥰#I don’t even mind Text x Text but like panels like this are why I hate when people say hxh should just finish out as a novel#the writing in hxh is solid but the way its art shifts around from sketchy and playful to detailed and horrifying is one of its many charms#and is something the anime adaptation actually really misses out on in the name of uniform character modeling#togashi’s versatility as an artist is so wonderful and is a huge part of why I also suggest reading hxh even if you’ve seen the anime#hxh#hunter x hunter#hxh spoilers#hunter x hunter spoilers#hxh 401#if I didn’t have work tomorrow I would’ve spent more time and effort redrawing the bits where there were bubbles#but you get this hasty edit instead lmao
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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I just wrote 8,000 words in two days. My brain is liquid. My thoughts are mush. :D
#morveren rambles#IT IS#THE MOST SELF INDULGENT PIECE OF SHT I HAVE EVER OR WILL EVER WRITE#IT CAN AND SHOULD SEND ME TO LITERARY JAIL#it is 2 am and i cannot leave it alone#oh the things one will do to cope with the fact that angharad does not exist.#i am gnawing down on this story like a dog with a bone#Have you ever thought about how wonderful and terrible it must be to stand before a god#Have you ever thought how frightening it must be to cross that threshold#And the terror and wonder one must feel when you realize they have always been waiting for you on the other side#HAVE YOU EVER--#*feral screaming*#I haven't breathed easily in two weeks the oxygen deprivation is getting to my brai
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hey so do you realize making posts like "reblog this to get/not get ---" is actually harmful. like do you know that me as a person with pretty fucking bad ocd would very much like to not see these types of posts on my dash in the year of your lord 2023. please stop. please don't exploit people's fears (or worse, actual mental illnesses and struggles) for notes. please stop showing me that goddamn fucking gold potato. thanks.
#i know most people probably just see it as this kind of cute silly little thing#but the result is it tugs right onto that part of the brain and exploits it and im sure im not the only one who has felt this like.#i remember those types of facebook posts/dms that were like if you dont send this to 10 other ppl bloody marry will kill you and those-#-things were so so so frightening for me a little girl with ocd and yeah sure now i can handle it better but-#you do see how thats the same right. you do see how thats the same tactic right.#ocd#netalk
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pet peeve is when a story tells us something is aberrant, but it seems to matter more about who does the behavior than the behavior itself. rorschach in snyder's watchmen isn't going too far; we watch nite owl and silk spectre ii snap necks and arms with gleeful, loving abandon, in slow motion no less, while they lecture the audience about rorschach's violence. heroes frequently torture the plot contrivance out of a villain and then moralize to the camera when the villains do the same. indominus rex's killing spree doesn't shock or appall me; all the jurassic world dinosaurs act like mindless killing machines, and the camera lingers, rapturous, on their cruelty. it's not an outlier. there's nothing interesting about it beyond as a set piece.
in a better script, the indominus rex would have had pathos; a chimera made for entertainment, for profit, stitched together with no regard for itself and placed in a lonely box. a freak among freaks. of course it would be mad. but the film wasn't interested in it as an animal, or a character, only as a moving piece of scenery for people to scream at or breathe tensely while it can clearly smell and reach them but doesn't, because it isn't a character and doesn't have motivations.
it's just sort of boring, i suppose. it tries like all other empty drab things do to cover it with bombast and roaring and soaring brassy scores but it's just sort of dull. a sprawl of nothing.
conversely peele's nope is a transcendent monster movie, imo, because it thinks about the the whys and hows, how jean jacket perceives the world, how the world perceives her, and lets that shape the narrative as much as jupe or emerald or gordy. they consulted biologists and behaviorists, digging into the meat of it. the creature as a camera as an animal as a device. nope has layers. it takes its own insane premise seriously, and has something to say, and is a goddamn good movie. i forgot where i was going with this.
#always rattling that quote from peele about the difference between horror and comedy being a matter of timing#creature horror is my favorite horror and most of it is Bad but i love it. sometimes you strike genuine gold and other times. well.#drives me crazy when monsters behave only in ways meant to be scary rather than how a real living thing would act. you can do both.#i remember hearing about a woman attacked by a moose in her own back yard. it gored and stomped her then left back into the woods#a few minutes later as she tried to crawl away it came back and attacked her again. terrifying! for no purpose!#a prey animal attack is often more frightening and vicious than a predator's imo#because to be eaten -- that carries its own logic. a prey animal though holds fear and rage and desperation in the core of it. it Knows.#a lion is a simple creature compared to a beef bull who just managed to corner the farmer against the fence#unlike say movie monsters continuing to chase and kill and attack while a volcano goes off around them and literally burns them to death#don't get me started on the icy swimming feathered raptor#also the goddamn dimetrodon in the caves like. i have never seen a beast less suited for a goddamn cave. why is it acting like that.#the book jurassic park goes into the behaviors and dynamics and such of the dinosaurs and what it means that we made them and why#using the cutting edge of science to craft both story and its monsters#but the franchise is dreadfully incurious#as many franchises end up being in the end#frog croaks#i guess i wanted to complain about the jurassic world franchise specifically actually#i haven't read crichton since high school. maybe i should revisit and see if my opinion holds lol
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as much as I love them I think black cats being a standard "halloween creature" is so funny. the #2 domestic companion animal in the West- shit, they're pretty common almost worldwide as at least, like, strays- and it's suddenly Scary Now because it's colored like the night time? get real.
#not paleo#like at least bats and bugs and things make sense as things people dont see as often; are toxic; or generally find frightening arsthetically#but a cats is just a guy. You Know Him#theres cultural context there i just think its a bit silly with it#its like the reverse of a white dove- i.e. pigeon- being seen as a ~symbol of peace~ when most are commonplace at best and detested at worst#idk if any of this makes sense. most people are not afraid of cats in a genetal context. but this one?#oh fuck its Lurking! & Peeking! & Casting Spells like a The Devil (!!!!!)!#to be fair i dont think most people are paarticularly afraid of them theyre just kind of entrenched in the Halloween Aesthetic™#most people arent afraid of living skeletons or sheet ghosts either (even if they are a Deathly Ghouls rather than normal animals)#black cats are just exceptionally low-tier Scaries to me because- in almost any other context- they would be traditionally Cute#you are going to get cursed and haunted forever if u dont give Lady Evelynn Nightshade Diabolica III wet food. sory :/
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I just want to be allowed to scream at my sister the way she screams at me. I want to be allowed to slam doors and throw things and break things. I want to be allowed to react to the way she treats us and not be called selfish.
#hot fucking take but I don’t really see much dialogue on how fucking traumatizing it can be to live with an autistic person#whose autism outwardly manifests the most behaviorally#her not being able to help being dysregulated does not negate how fucking scary it is#to be on the receiving end of that behavior#and to be conditioned for your entire life that you’re bad if you react in any way#this is less about neurodivergence than it is about my fucking mother#especially because I’m likely on the spectrum as well#but if someone that wasn’t autistic did those same things it would be considered an abusive environment#I’m not saying that my sister is abusive#but I am saying that it is so incredibly emotionally damaging to live in this house#any harm done to me by the screaming and throwing and breaking things is not even allowed to be considered#because she ‘can’t help herself’#and the quotes there are again less about neurodivergence than my mother#because my sister actually has really solid coping skills… when my mother is not involved#my mother will make excuses and enables her in a way that is so frustrating#my sister would actually do much better if she were living in a dorm/group home like she previously was#but that costs a lot of money#and so she lives here with my enabling permissive mother#and is more dysregulated than she has been in YEARS#because so many of the skills and coping tools she learned at her resident program#she has completely stopped utilizing because she doesn’t have to#because instead of trying to work through it my mother will make excuses for her#so instead of trying to work through it she screams so loud my ears ring#and slams doors so hard they break#and throws things in a way that makes me scared she’s going to hurt one of us#but if I display any reaction to what in any other circumstance would be recognized as a frightening and harmful situation#I’m making things worse and I’m being selfish#I’m like. fine. in the way that I’ve had to be my whole life.#which is mostly dissociating and spending as little time home as possible#but every time it happens it makes me wish I was not alive
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re: udg reblog,
clearly the solution to “oh i love this but i don’t think anyone should play it” is to write a fic with only the good parts and none of the bad parts but then you have this big empty space where the bad parts were so you just make something up that seems vaguely believable
that seems like a normal thing normal people do right?
RIGHT?
It’s always correct and totally won’t ever lead to agony as you look at the canon and scream because my god how are you supposed to salvage something this stupid why are you doing this you used to be so normal and not care oh god why does attacking the little girl make her pants fly off oh god why is delta a character
#ask#i love zwg truly. but i understand the agony#if i wanted to make a better version of udg or really any dr game i have no clue where id start my god theres so much happening#obviously the clown nonsense that is komaeda in that game needs to stay because theres really nothing better than seeing him be bullied#by a bunch of grade schoolers who throw milkshakes at him and draw on his face with sharpie#oh oh and the sexy byakuya fantasies need to stay too because if youre bad at the puzzles like me he just bullies you#its dry catered to the shit me and my sister meme about akjsks#the shit with the kids though..........yikes#also fuck shirokuma i cant stand him literally the most obnoxious character ever created#it felt good to kill him#i was doing a proper playthrough of udg last year see cuz id never played it myself#just watched playthroughs when i was 14 and edgy and had no frame of reference for good writing yet#so it was fun not only re experiencing the utter. obscenity that is this game and also trying to figure out the mechanics#its kinda fun sometimes until the boss fights happen then its like actually the worst thing ever i may have needed to walk around angrily#and basically i was on ch4 and stopped when there was a mission with haiji cuz i just. needed to stop#havent played since im too frightened aksjks#and yeah the agony of trying to rewrite a game is shared cuz im going through it with p3#and basically basically i have been trying so hard and was in a good zone but basically i snapped recently#cuz the kirijo group stuff my god its just so bad that i like theres just no way i can make this game make sense#i have the one project where everything is restructured but then i have the stuff where like. I have to make this fit the game structure#loosely cuz it was just supposed to be a character analysis fic but basically my brain hath broken its kaboom#though p3 is a lot more workable than ztd is my god theres just too much happening at once there aksjks#you are so brave for what youve done Kay 🙏#and to any poor soul who wants to do a rewrite of a frustrating story......have fun. but watch out
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Atsushi’s self-loathing sobbing breakdown in episode 19 🥺😭😭 my poor heart I actually got teary-eyed from seeing that :(
#GOD DAMMIT ATSUSHI AND AKUTAGAWA NEED TO STOP FIGHTING FOR REAL ESTATE IN MY MIND#I’ve never had such fierce competition between characters for title of ‘most beloved’ ^^;#but anyways back to the point#god the voice acting was effective. it sounded so realistic#especially in english. he sounded so frightened and distressed from what happened under the effects of dogra magra 😭#and that whimpering sort of cry? perfection.#(Internally my more sadistic side was like ‘cry more bitch :>’ because you KNOW I love a good sobbing fit)#just pav things
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Hi! I saw your post about Obsidian (for note taking) and I was wondering how you added custom fonts? Or if there's some resources you could point me to that would help figuring out some tips and how to use it
hello!
so, the simplest method for custom fonts is to first make sure it’s installed on your computer (if you download a new font, right-click and hit ‘install’).
Then if you just want to change the base font in obsidian for either all of the interface, or for editing/reading mode, you can go into settings, then under ‘Font’, you select the ‘manage’ option, and there’ll be a text box/dropdown you can type in to find the font you want. Click ‘add’ and then that’s done!
If you want to do custom fonts for headings, or for specific pages/cssclasses (like I’ve done for Obedience and claws in my notes), then you will have to do a little bit of css, but it’s not as scary as it sounds i promise!
To make a cssclass, all you really need is a text editor. You can use notepad if you’re just doing a few little things, but if you want to start doing a lot I recommend getting one that’s more designed for it. I use brackets because it’s free and easy, but a lot of people use VSCode which is. too intimidating for me. and too much for my usecase anyway.
im getting offtopic. FONTS!
now, i am. out of date with all the new variables and also i write bad css, but the way I do it if I want specific header fonts is like this:
.markdown-preview-view h1 { font-family: COOL FONT; }
OR apparently, as I just learned in checking to write this, you can use ‘.markdown-rendered h1’ as the class. either seems to work…my css is very old.
now there is a way to do this for all headings at once without copy-pasting it for h1, h2, h3 etc but i don’t know how to do it right and at this point my css works and so i Leave It Alone
this only does it for Reading Mode, because i like having more ‘text-y’ fonts for writing and then pretty ones for reading when I’m done. to change things for live preview/source view, you need to do
.markdown-source-view.mod-cm6 .cm-header { font-family: COOL FONT; }
And if you want different fonts for different headers, change the ‘.cm-header’ part to ‘.cm-header-1’ (or whatever number of heading size you want.)
You can add things other than fonts in there as well, like font-size, text-transform, and other css classes. (this is why i like brackets, it suggests classes and property fills as you’re typing which is good because i. forget what the options are)
If you want to go poking around in obsidian to figure out which selector is doing what, hit Ctrl+shift+i on windows (for mac, I believe it's command+option+i), and it’ll bring up the developer console, so you can use inspect element to track down selectors. (selectors are the thing you put after the period (.) and tell the css which element to target)
I like to make custom css classes for things, and to make one of those, you just type ‘.classname’ before the variable you want to change. E.g. for claws it looks like:
.claws.markdown-rendered h1 { font-family: LEVIBRUSH; }
then to add that to a note, you need to add the ‘cssclasses’ property in the frontmatter. you can make the frontmatter with three dashes like this:
--- cssclasses: claws ---
or you can use the properties side panel and hit ‘add property’ and then make cssclasses. this then means that all the css wizardry you do prefixed with that class will only apply to pages with that class, which I really like for making unique workspaces for different projects.
adding your snippet
so now you've made your snippet, you just need to load it in. the simplest way is to head to Settings -> Appearance, and scroll down to where it says 'CSS Snippets'. Hit the folder icon, and that'll open the folder you need to save the snippet.
make sure you save your notepad or brackets or whatever document as '.css' first. you can literally just do this by right clicking a saved notepad document and changing the name to 'name.css' if you need to.
save that css document into the snippets folder, go back to settings and hit the 'reload' snippets button to get it to show up, toggle it on, and voila!
now what you can do is edit that snippet live in obsidian just by. editing it. and hitting save. it'll live update and you can tinker. that's all i do: have brackets and obsidian open at the same time and just. fuck about till things work. i like problem solving, so it's usually fun for me :)
resources!
Obsidian CSS Quick Guide - Share & showcase - Obsidian Forum → a quick guide to poking around and how to find css classes in obsidian
Headings - Developer Documentation → full list of css variables you can play with. this gives you an idea of just how many things you can customise in obsidian which is to say. all of it.
i also just recommend googling around about CSS and how to use it. W3 schools is usually my go-to, it’s pretty good. Or searching ‘how to do x with css’ and usually either reddit or stackexchange will have decent answers.
you can find fonts all over, and i know google is a bitch, but google fonts has a bunch of good fonts. that's where most of mine are from, honestly
#obsidian md#obsidian.md#this is such a quick and dirty tutorial but i hope it helps!#absolutely feel free to ask for clarification im still working on my 'giving tutorials' skills#most of how i figured out how to do things was frantic googling and trial and error so i am in no way an expert#my css is a frightening franken-mess we don't look too closely at but it works for me and that's all that matters#you can't *really* break things with css as well tbh#if it makes something weird just delete the snippet and it's fixed
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how do ren and oli meet in the toh au? is ren just in the woods and he finds this scrappy little kid with a bunch of red flags and go “well i can’t not adopt him now”?
- declawed anon
i talked abt it a bit in this post but he basically just stumbled upon him on his way home from work. it’s late at night, it’s raining, he’s tired, but he hears crying(/meowing??) coming from an alleyway and is like “. oh titan there’s a Child in this box- I can’t just leave him here!! :(” so he takes him home <3
and when he gets home his husband Martyn is like “hi honey how was work toda- IS THAT A CHILD.” “YES!!! 🤩🥰😎🔥💯”
#also need you to imagine oli being like. the most cliche pathetic thing ever#LITERALLY a wet cat. it’s raining. he’s in a cardboard box. he’s all alone. the whole deal yk#and he was probably like… idk how baby ages work uhh. no older than one y/o probably. little guy#very frightened and needs a bath so so bad and ren is probably home late bc it takes a while for ren to gently coax him out of the box#poor little kid :(#and ren and martyn are like. ok so we have to learn to parent now and Fast bc this kid needs help-#but they figure it out. oli turns out alright <3#pho.asks#anon#joli toh au#they mean the world to me…#also i bet martyn at first was like. we can’t do this he needs to find a real home we can’t raise a kid-#but ren is so ‘🥺 please can we keep him……’ that he eventually gives in
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looking at some takes on characters or relationships or scenes in which things happen between them and just thinking,
How in the hell are people interpreting it this way??? But then i step back and realize that the story or character in question is fundamentally and extraordinarily different from the average person's life experience and I go,
ah,
you guys just... don't have a deep enough understanding of trauma responses...
#mine#vagueblogging again i guess but this applies to many things#its honestly okay that the general public doesn't grasp the deeper layers at play because tbh theyre not often explored in media#to that degree at least#ive known someone with deep. Deep. DEEP traumas#shit that no human should ever go through and sounds almost cartoonishly evil#and the truth is#healing from that is UGLY. the impact it has on how a person interacts with their life is unimaginable#and it often makes NO SENSE AT ALL to someone who hasn't experienced the same shit#it's not as simple as 'i'm sad or scared and i cry easily but if youre nice to me and love me it'll go away'#in my own experience of loving someone like that#you sometimes have to work at helping them rewrite their entire philosophies.#things you wouldnt even think of#sometimes expressing sadness or pain is the hardest part about it because they're so used to turning the other cheek to survive#sometimes theyre so used to being manipulated that they reject any kindness you offer in the most viscerally violent way#and it hurts!#communication is HARD!#receiving love is HARD!#i was listening to Raon Lee's cover of Kokoronashi#and thinking about how raw the emotions are in the lyrics#and how so many average joes out there wouldn't be able to make any sense of it but those who do get it really get it#(essentially like... 'i wish you would just get it overwith and tear me apart#bc it would hurt less than the confusion i feel at how you're kind to me and holding me and promising to never let go...#at least i know how to handle the pain of dying#this is so confusing and frightening what youre doing to me. i hate it i hate it but please... don't leave me alone')#(its such a gorgeous song)#sHIT AND THEN 2 SECONDS LATER I FIND KOHANA LAM'S COVER OF IT AND IT'S SO MUCH MOR E#for the love of god look up that song and turn on lyrics captions
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i cannot stand those quirky overly-friendly-to-the-point-of-crossing-boundaries teachers and professors who make you do icebreakers or fun facts about yourself at the beginning of the semester bc their questions are always the exact sort of stuff that you never wanna answer. but they just keep asking bc they think you’re just being shy and cute. ‘what are your hobbies? what kind of music do you like? what’s a topic very personal and important to you?’ MAN i am not subjecting myself to public humiliation like that for being very far removed from the norm nor am i opening up about my deep-seated personal problems. i don’t know you i don’t respect you you are not entitled to anything outside of my graded work. i’m just trying to prevent everybody in the room including you and i from becoming incredibly uncomfortable. just take the hint when i deflect your questions and pretend to be boring
#my sociology professor was asking us all for our current favorite song to add to the class playlist that he plays a bit from every morning#even if i had a single favorite song i wouldn’t tell him#even if he wasn’t gonna play it in front of others i wouldn’t tell him#he was like ‘ahhh what a diverse and fascinating sample of different genres we’ve collected here from your responses!’#three taylor swift songs. some respectable rock and rap stuff. basically it#i am not about to submit my japanese robots singing about the most unhinged and frightening topics known to man#some of us actually got bullied as children and learned to never be honest ever again especially not when we don’t have friends with us#i could explain to him why i like the things i like#but i’m not about to be that vulnerable?? hello???? i already know he wouldn’t understand or care even if he didn’t say anything mean#ok hot take but i actually kinda don’t like the discourse surrounding infodumping#like ‘it’s ok to just talk at me about the things you like! :)’ ok but if i don’t have clear confirmation that you like it too#then it feels like you’re just listening to me out of pity#you could be as nice as possible but if you don’t ask followup questions or express any sort of favorite part or interesting detail#i will feel awful and be like ok never doing that again#maybe that’s just my personal flavor of mental illness#i never got like. told to shut up or anything when talking#but i did get the awkward silence or ‘light-hearted’ mockery#so i figured shutting myself up was for the best#peach rambles
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