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p0orbaby · 3 years ago

Text

How Do You Plead?

Summary - Two conversations, one decision.

Warnings - More angst, alcohol, language

Authors note - Part 2 of One Too Many

Word count - 2.3k

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It was already dark when you arrived at Tony’s. You’d driven around the city for hours trying to calm yourself down. It obviously didn’t work because you were knocking on the front door of the Stark residence in hopes of finding someone to rationalise what you were feeling.

Moments later you heard shuffling coming from behind the wooden door and the click of several locks before the door swung open, revealing a disheveled Tony.

“Y/N, what on Earth are you doing? It’s the middle of the damn night”

“I need to talk to you. Any time, any place, remember?”

“Has this got something to do with Wanda ringing me for the past several hours? Because if it does I don’t think being here is the best option when you obviously have a frantic wife waiting for you at home”

“Please Tony, can I come in, it’s serious”

Your desperate tone had him relenting and opening the door wider so you could go inside.

Having been there many times in the past, you knew where he kept the liquor, so you made a beeline for it, grabbing a bottle of the strongest thing you could find.

“Ah, what are you doing? Nope Y/N put that down, that’s a vintage”

Ignoring him, you twisted the cap and took a sip straight out of the bottle, not even bothering with a glass.

“Right well okay, you now owe me a couple thousand dollars, so whatever’s going on, it better be worth it”

You relished the feeling of the alcohol slowly working it’s way into your bloodstream. The burn was a sweet relief from the building panic you were currently fighting.

Finally putting the bottle on the nearest surface, you slumped into a chair, head in hands and let out a long sigh.

“Are you going to tell me what the matter is? Or are you just going to drink yourself to death before I have any indication of what’s going on?”

“We had a hospital appointment today, a scan actually”

“There’s nothing wrong with anything, is there? Wanda and the baby are fine right?”

“Everything and everyone is how it should be” you replied, mirroring the words Wanda said to you earlier that day.

“Oh good, you had me worried that something bad had happened for a second there”

All you could do was let out a small chuckle. Bad was an understatement in your opinion. This was a situation you hadn’t planned for, hadn't expected and definitely didn’t want. So if it wasn’t bad, then what was it?

“It was such good news, I saw my life flash before my eyes and it was filled with double the tantrums, double the diapers and half the amount of sleep I was planning on getting, which wasn’t a lot to start off with”

Tony was a smart man, very smart to be exact. That’s why it was so comical that he was sat staring at you with a blank look on his face, trying and failing to comprehend what you had just said.

“Twins, Tony. We’re having twins”

There it was, the lightbulb moment you were waiting for. His eyes widened and a large smile covered his face as he stood and patted you on the shoulder.

“Oh wow, congratulations Y/N, that’s amazing news!”

“Is it? Is it actually? You know just think about it, one kid I got my head around. Took a while. But two? Nope I can’t do it. Two at the same time, fuck that”

“Hmm, I see the dilemma”

“God, I’m so glad you agree, Jesus I thought you were gonna rip me a new one”

“I mean the dilemma you’ve created for yourself after you’ve run away from your pregnant wife. I get it you’re scared but running off and hiding isn’t going to help matters”

“Well what do you expect me to do, huh Tony?” You stood, now pacing around the room throwing your hand in the air as you talked. “Lie to her and tell her how happy I am. Pretend this is all I wanted and more?”

“Yes, precisely that”

“And that would make it better how? I’d be living a lie. She wouldn’t want that”

“But you storming off and leaving her all alone was a better decision? Even you’re not stupid enough to believe that”

“If all you’re going to do is argue with me about this then I’m leaving” you stated matter of factly as you headed towards the door.

“No, fuck, Y/N wait, you can’t drive now, you can stay here for the night”

“What, so you can just judge me in the morning as well?”

Tony ran his hand across his face. Either to stop himself from getting frustrated with you, or because he was trying to keep himself awake. Either way he took a long sigh and ushered you back through to the lounge.

He sat next to you on the couch this time, but not before he poured you a small glass of whisky.

“Right, I know you’re upset about this but you have to listen”

You scoffed at him and took a sip of your drink.

“No, I mean it. You’re going to listen to what I have to say. You’re going to sleep off this pissy mood. And then tomorrow morning you’re going to go home, to your pregnant wife, and apologise like it’s the last thing you’ll ever do. Got it?”

All you could do was sit and stare at the glass in your hands. You felt like a child being scolded by a parent.

“I’m probably not the best person to talk to you about this stuff. But that also makes me the person who understands it the most. You remember how I was right? Before pepper?”

You nodded, who could forget. The big headed party animal with too much money to spend and too many women to choose from.

“Pepper put up with a lot. Too much. And I didn’t make her life any easier when we found out when we were pregnant either. I was terrified. Me, a father? Who would’ve thought it? But then when Morgan was born, everything changed. I wasn’t just responsible for myself anymore. I had a baby to protect”

“But that’s the thing, I don’t want to have to be responsible. What if I fuck up and I mess them both up beyond repair? What if they hate me and push me to the sidelines?”

“That’s not going to happen”

“But how could you possibly know that?”

“Because I thought the same things. Look, I’m not going to tell you it’s going to be all rainbows and daisies, because it isn’t. But unfortunately you’re the only one that can come to terms with that, no one else can do that for you”

“Well that’s great, just what I needed, to be told I’ve got to do this alone, thanks Tone”

“For God's sake Y/N, stop putting words in my mouth. If you really think you’re alone in this then why did you come here? Who's been at home worrying about you? Because if that’s alone then I don’t know what to tell you”

It wasn’t often you felt sorry for yourself. For the most part you were quite a resilient person. But this was a situation you can’t see yourself ever getting excited about.

“The guest room is already made up, so you can stay in there. Don’t drink that whole bottle because I doubt Wanda wants a bill sent to her door with the stuff you’ve put her through already”

He stood and made his way to the door of the lounge, but before he left the room he turned, looking at you with a sympathetic smile.

“I’m not going to stand here and tell you what you did was okay, because it wasn’t. You can’t run from this, but it’s not a crime to take a little time to get your head around it all. If anything, do it for Wanda, she needs you more than she lets on”

And with that he was gone. The room was now silent apart from the thoughts that were swirling around in your head.

You laid awake most of the night dreading going home. You couldn’t face Wanda. You were ashamed that you ran, embarrassed with your reaction to the news. But you still couldn’t bring yourself to come to terms with everything just yet.

Like Tony said, it could take some time.

You left the house before anyone rose for the morning. Not wanting to be subject to the ridicule of Pepper as well as Tony. You weren’t in the mood to be lectured again.

It wasn’t until an hour later you got home. Deciding to take another drive to talk yourself into going back.

Finally pulling into the driveway, a cold chill ran through your body. Normally this place brought you so much joy and comfort, but right now it felt like you were about to walk into the principal's office.

Stepping out of the car on shaky legs, you walked tepidly to the front door. It was now or never. Taking a deep breath, you unlocked the door and took a step inside. It was eerily quiet. You almost thought Wanda had gone out. But then you heard clattering coming from the kitchen.

There was a brief moment where you thought about heading straight upstairs and not bothering facing your problems, but you couldn’t do that to Wanda for the second day in a row. So you made your way through to the kitchen.

You found her with her back facing you, washing dishes at the sink. She must not have heard you come in, so in an attempt not to startle her you placed your keys on the kitchen island with a soft jangle.

She turned at the noise, finding your gaze as soon as she did. Her eyes were red rimmed and puffy. Dark circles had found their place around them. It was obvious she hadn’t slept. It made you curse to yourself that you had done this to her.

“I didn’t hear you come in,” she finally said, turning back to what she was doing.

“I didn’t want to scare you so I tried not to be loud”. It wasn’t a complete lie. “Do you want any help?”

“It’s fine, go up to bed, you look tired”

“So do you”

“Well I wonder why that is”

Her tone was curt. One she didn’t use often. Reserved for only the most serious of instances.

“Wanda I-“

“I don’t want to hear it. Not right now at least. Just, please, go to bed, I’ll wake you later when dinner is ready”

Wanda was right, you were tired. She had to result in shaking you with quite a force so you would wake. You’d been asleep for twelve whole hours. It was definitely needed.

The table was set as normal and she’d placed everything in their usual spots. The only thing different was the obvious tension that was floating around the room. Ready to be sliced by whoever was willing to talk first.

The silence didn’t last long, Wanda was never one to beat around the bush.

“Have a good time at Tony’s last night?”

“I wouldn’t say fun, but helpful I guess”

“Want to share this helpful information? Or was it for your ears only?”

“Just some stuff about becoming a parent is all”. You tried to keep your answers as vague as possible. Not wanting to hurt her further by letting her know about your outburst last night.

“Right, because that’s not what I’ve been told”

“I'm sorry?”

“According to Nat, Tony said you didn’t want to be a parent”

Damn you Tony.

“Well, they’re lying”

“So you do want to be a parent then”

“Wanda, can we talk-“

“Answer the fucking question”

You dropped your cutlery with a clank and closed your eyes. This was what you wanted to avoid. More arguments. More shouting.

“I'm scared,” you said quietly, keeping your head in your hands as you leant against the table.

“What, and you think I’m not? I’ll have you know I am scared Y/N. I’m fucking terrified. But I can’t just run off when I feel like it. I'm the one that's going to have to deal with this. More than you”

You didn’t know what to say. Of course you were selfish enough to not even think about Wanda in this situation. Other than the fact you’d left her when she needed you. But it’s her body that’s going to go through drastic changes. How she can’t just up and leave any time she gets tired of it all.

“You need to make a decision” her voice cut through your thoughts. “I want you to stay, I need to be here. But I’m not going to raise these children with someone who doesn’t want to be involved. So you need to choose whether you want to stay with me. Us. Or whether you’re going to leave”

“You. It’s always you” you rushed out. The decision was easy. Never did you think you’d have an ultimatum like this.

She let out an audible sigh at your answer. The fact that she was so relieved with what you said just proved that she thought there was a slim chance you'd end everything and leave her for good. That made your heart hurt more than you thought possible.

“And the babies? Is there any part of you that wants to stay for them?”

“It’s going to take time. But I’m willing to try, for you”

Just as it seemed like the conversation was over for now, Wanda cleared her throat to indicate she was about to say something else”

“One other thing. If you’re going to stay, I want you to go back to therapy”

Taglist

General Taglist: @xxxtwilightaxelxxx @jromanoff @diaryoflife @xxromanoffxx @marrymemcgrath @smileyromanoff

#one too many #wanda maximoff x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x reader #pregnant!wanda x fem!reader #wanda maximoff x female reader #wanda maximoff #pregnant!wanda #wanda maximoff smut #smut #wanda maximoff angst #angst

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startanewdream · 4 years ago

Text

All the time with you

Lily was avoiding him.

Which would be nothing new to James except they were dating for two weeks now and she was his girlfriend - she had said yes when he’d asked her, twice, so James was sure if that - and James had thought everything was fine between them.

It seemed like that when he’d meet her for breakfast - she had kissed him softly on the lips, her eyes closed a second longer when they broke apart as if she was still savouring that kiss and she had beamed at him. They had gone together to Potions class, but then, in the middle of class, when her potion was brewing, she had withdrawn suddenly, edgy on her spot, and she had briefly talked with Professor Slugnorn before vanishing her potion and abandoning class.

That was it. She had left with barely a wave to him, just telling him she would see him later.

But she wasn’t in the Common Room in their next free period and she hadn’t showed up for lunch either. None of her friends seemed to know where she was, which meant James had to resort to search for her in the Marauder’s Map.

‘That’s a little bit stalker, don’t you think?’, Sirius asked, his eyebrows raised and a smirk on his face. He always thought it was amusing when James freaked out about Lily as if he could see something James was blind to.

‘I am worried’, James said, very reasonable. Lily was missing - maybe something had happened, maybe she was in the Hospital Wing, maybe she had met someone who was far more interesting than James and…

Well, maybe he was overreacting a little.

But finding Lily was easy - her dot was still on her bed, alone.

On the one place James couldn’t get to her.

‘Oh, Merlin. This is bad’.

‘What is bad?’ Sirius asked, coming to sit on James’ bed and following James’ trembling finger on the Map. ‘She is in her dormitory’.

‘I can’t go there - don’t you see what that means? She is avoiding me’.

Sirius blinked, not impressed.

‘I think she is avoiding everyone, Prongs’.

It could be, but not everyone was her very concerned boyfriend.

‘Probably she was just tired and took advantage of Slug’s love for her to drop out of the class’.

‘That’s it, Lily loves Potions. She wouldn’t leave class unless there was a reason’.

‘Tired, like I said. Aren’t you two overworking to finish that Christmas event?’

James nodded, hoping there wasn’t any guilt showing up on his face. Sure, the Christmas event was one of the things the Heads had to organize, but he and Lily were taking way longer that it was needed just because they had been too entertained with each other in the past two weeks - it turned out that the Prefect’s Room was empty if all Prefects were out in patrol rounds and it turned that James and Lily were responsible for defining those rounds.

All in all, they were taking weeks to do something that they could have finished in two nights - but it provided them a nice excuse to all these moments together.

‘Yeah, maybe’.

‘Just relax, Prongs’.

He wished he could, but Lily didn’t show up for Charms either - another of her favourite classes - so, under his friends’ amused looks, he went to talk to Mary McDonald, asking if she could ask Lily to meet him.

‘Sure, James’, she said, giving him a funny look. ‘But I think she just wants to be alone’.

‘Do you know what’s wrong?’, he asked, biting his lips. Alone, Mary had said. Alone sounded bad.

‘Oh, it’s just - you know what? I will talk to her and we’ll see’.

That sounded ominous too. He nodded, quiet.

There was another free period that afternoon after Double Charms. They stayed in the Common Room, and James was supposedly finishing an essay, but his head kept turning to the stairs to the girl’s dormitories.

‘You are going to break your neck, Prongs’, Remus noted when James turned once more after hearing steps on the stairs, but it was just two Second Year girls that had come down.

‘I am fine’, he said stiffly.

‘No, you are not’, Sirius disagreed, reaching over to grab the parchment James had been writing on. ‘You got back to doodling “L.E”’.

‘It’s short for Law of Elvendork’, James said. ‘The theory that says every object can be turned into another as long as the elements are proportionally observed during the transformation’.

‘You are making this up’.

‘I am making this up’, James conceded, ignoring Sirius’ look. ‘I am just - I wish there was some way of going upstairs -’

‘I know’, Sirius said, a grimace on his face. That was the only thing they had never managed to accomplish in their seven years at Hogwarts. ‘Maybe we can restart that project - did we try the Confundus Charm on the stairs?’

‘Fourth year’, Peter answered him, without raising his eyes from his essay.

‘How about our animagus form? If -’

‘First thing we did on Fifth Year’.

‘Polyjuice Potion?’

‘We tried to brew on Third Year’, now Peter glanced at Sirius, shaking his head. ‘I looked like Anne MacMillan for three days!’

‘Oh, well, she was pretty’.

‘I had half her body. The left part of her body. I had to hide it for three days!’

James almost smiled at the memory.

‘Half of you was pretty then’, he said to Peter, who rolled his eyes. Then James sighed. ‘Well, I can’t finish this essay today, so I will - Lily!’

He raised immediately, a hand grabbing his own hair nervously as Lily came down the stairs. Her face was pale and she smiled at him when she saw him, but there was something restrained on her smile.

James thought she looked like she was really uncomfortable with something.

‘Hi, guys’, she said, not meeting anyone’s eyes. ‘Can I talk to you, James?’

When he nodded, quiet and still, she raised her eyebrows a little bit. ‘Alone, I meant’.

‘Oh, sure’, he said, looking around for a quiet place, but Lily surprised him going in the direction of the boy’s dormitory. He glanced around, finding his friends equally surprised, and followed her upstairs.

Lily didn’t turn to him until they reached the top of the tower. There, she looked around the room - James was grateful that the house-elves had cleaned up their mess, because the room looked decent - before turning to him.

She wasn’t smiling. That didn’t look good.

James felt something pressing his chest, putting all pieces together in a puzzle he wasn’t sure he wanted to finish - Lily avoiding him, the grimace on her face, the way she was closing her eyes now and then as if to steel herself to do something and her request that they would talk alone, in a place no one could witness their break up -

‘Which one is your bed?’, she asked, stopping his reverie. James blinked, confused, and pointed to the nearest bed. Lily nodded. ‘Control your thoughts, okay?’, she said, sitting on his bed. ‘But lay here with me’.

There had been a considerable number of scenarios that James had imagined Lily on his bed, but on the verge of her breaking up with him was not one of them.

‘I think I prefer to stand up, Lily’, he said slowly.

‘We can’t do it with you like that’, Lily answered him as if it were obvious. ‘Just come here, please, James’.

He frowned, unsure, but he sat on the other side of his bed. Lily looked at him as if James was missing something very important, and when he didn’t move, she sighed.

‘Are you mad at me?’, she asked, sounding tired. ‘I am sorry I went away without -’

‘I thought you were mad with me!’, James interrupted her, shocked. She looked confused.

‘Why would I be mad at you?’

‘Because - yes? What else would you break up with me?’

‘Break up? Did you take that Essence of Insanity in class today?’

‘If you are not breaking up - why did you call me?’

‘Oh’, she blushed, the sweetest shade of pink colouring her face and James imagined he could feel the heat coming from her body. ‘I wanted to cuddle’.

‘... cuddle?’

‘Yeah, you know’, she put her legs on the bed and he saw she had taken out her shoes. Lily laid on the pillows next to him, her hand supporting her head. ‘Mary told me you were worried about me and I thought - instead of being miserable alone in bed, I could be here with you’.

‘You wanted to be miserable with me?’, he asked, but there was a shadow of a grin on his lips now. He took off his own shoes, lying in the bed too, and Lily nestled against his chest, closing her eyes.

‘It’s really hard to be miserable next to you’, she assured him, pressing herself more against him and inspiring heavily. ‘You smell so nice’.

With her lying so close to him, the scent of her shampoo so strong and intoxicating, James thought he could say the same about her.

But he just raised his hand to touch her hair, combing it softly, watching the strands of dark red hair. ‘Lily? Are you ok?’

‘I am, it’s just -’, she paused, unsure. ‘It’s cramps’.

‘Cramps?’, James repeated, confused, and then he opened his eyes. ‘Oooh’.

‘Yeah, sorry about oversharing’.

‘What? No, I - well, I want to know when you are not feeling well or - I mean - can I do anything to help?’

James tried to think of whatever he knew about female biology. His father had explained some things to him a few years ago and he understood the basics, but he hadn’t been paying attention very much if he was honest. Female body looked much more complicated than his.

‘You can keep hugging me’, she whispered and he pressed himself closer to her. 'Sorry about scaring you today. I just wanted to suffer alone'.

'Don't. I mean, I'd rather you don't suffer but - if you must - I am always available for some cuddling'.

She raised her head a little to place a kiss on his neck that gave him goosebumps all over his body.

'I will keep this is mind', she told him warmly. Then Lily sighed. ‘It’s been a while since I have this crisis… I usually take my potions the day before, but - well, I was a little bit distracted yesterday’.

She broke away just enough to wink at him and James suddenly remembered exactly what they had been doing last night on that empty Prefect’s Room - how he had pressed her against the door of the room, his mouth exploring her neck and any exposed skin there, how Lily had moaned softly and how that had driven him crazy -

‘James?’, she called him and he realized he must have drifted off in the memories, judging by how his body was reacting too quickly. He turned slightly, urging his mind to stop recollecting that moment. ‘Maybe now is not the moment?’, she added, a knowing smile on her lips.

‘Sorry’, he said, feeling his neck reddening. James forced himself to focus on the present. ‘I will help you remember next month’, he promised. ‘No distraction, Marauder’s honour’.

‘Maybe just a little distraction’, Lily said, winking at him again. He laughed softly, kissing her forehead, and she rested her head under his chin. ‘I will pay attention next month, don’t worry - I mean, you don’t need to know my cycle, James -’

‘Nonsense’, he said lightly. ‘I already know Remus’, what’s one more?’

She let out an amused laugh, the one that was James' favourite.

‘Well, wait until you experience my mood swings’.

‘PMS? Is that real?’

‘Very real’, she assured him. ‘I may need to hide again -’

‘I hope you don’t’, he whispered, massaging her neck now. ‘I meant it when I said I want to be there with you’.

‘I may get really stressed’, Lily warned him. ‘Like I may want to throw things - it’s better if you are not close’.

‘I have very good reflexes’.

‘Or I may get really sad and cry, and you’ll think it’s because of you, but it’s not’.

‘Then I will give you chocolate’, he promised. ‘Chocolate is the solution for everything’.

Another laugh; James smiled to himself, satisfied with her reaction. Discovering her reactions to him was really his favourite part of the last two weeks of dating her.

‘Well, you can’t go wrong with chocolate’, Lily agreed. ‘And this massage is really good too’.

‘Oh, I have magic fingers’, he teased. ‘I can show you’.

‘James…’

‘I meant a massage in the back, Lily’, he said innocently, and she chuckled once more, not believing him much. ‘Here’.

He sat more upright, helping Lily’s head on a pillow next to him, and started rubbing the base of her neck and then her shoulders, feeling the tension on her muscles and letting it guide him.

‘Hmmm’, she sighed. ‘That’s actually good’.

‘See? Magic fingers’. He kept rubbing her back, feeling her relaxing under his touch. He beamed - even after two weeks of them going out, there was still that disbelief in knowing Lily fancied him back and trusted him and wanted to be with him. ‘So, those mood swings - care to tell me beforehand?’

‘Oh, you’ll notice’, she said distractedly. ‘Two weeks from now probably’.

‘So - two weeks ago you were in one of them?’

‘I guess’.

‘Then our date and all that snogging later - just one mood change?’

‘Oh, it certainly changed my mood’, Lily said, turning her head in his direction and he was relieved to see her green eyes sparkling. ‘There were some hormones involved in kissing you, but I promise you none of them were fleeting’.

‘I’m glad to know’, he answered, grinning too. ‘Or else we would kiss just one week of the month’.

‘That would mean three miserable weeks’.

James laughed. Lily watched him, a smile on her lips that died when she closed her eyes, grimacing.

‘Are you in pain?’, he asked, worried.

‘It’ll pass, just some more minutes for the potion to take effect again’.

He laid down again, this time with her back for him, and Lily curled up against him. He put a hand under her head, careful to entwine his hands with hers.

‘You are so warm’, she whispered.

‘Is that bad?’

‘No, it’s good. I might nap though’.

‘You can - I’ll wake you up later for dinner’.

She sighed softly.

‘Thanks, James - I know this is not how you imagined us being in your bed’.

Her voice was heavier now with sleep, though he could hear her teasing. James let out a soft laugh, kissing the top of her head, and hugging her closer. Lily was quite warm for him too; there was something very cozy in being next to her like that, even if all they were doing was just cuddling together.

He thought of sharing nights with her where they would just do this - lay together, his arms around her, quiet and serene, and somehow those nights looked as appealing as the most creative nights he could dream of.

‘You are wrong, you know’, he whispered, but she didn’t move and James thought she had fallen asleep. ‘I want to be with you in every way’.

And he closed his eyes, letting her warmth and perfume lull him into a quiet sleep too.

#Jily #jily oneshot #James Potter being a nice boyfriend #Fluff #Lily wants a hug #James and Lily

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secretly-a-cold-blooded-murderer · 4 years ago

Text

Five Thousand Miles

Warning: Angst, descriptions of covid patients’ suffering, hospitals

A/n: I researched a lot about what covid patients go through in a hospital and their treatments but still took a couple creative liberties so I apologise if the descriptions aren’t accurate. Do tell me how you liked it!

Summary: Y/n tests positive for covid-19 and has to be hospitalised. Her boyfriend, Harry is five thousand miles away from her.

“Harry, I’m scared,” Y/n confessed as she readied herself, struggling with wearing her mask and gloves while also balancing her phone to continue talking to her boyfriend on FaceTime.

“It’ll be alright, you are taking every precaution you can. Plus, you have to get out of the house sometime, you can’t survive on air alone. Trust me, baby, you can do this.”

Harry’s voice was keeping her grounded, she wanted to continue talking to him but knew it would be impossible to shop and talk to him at the same time, so she nodded at him, “You’re right. Okay, I’ll call you when I get back. Safely.”

Taking a deep breath, she went out the door to a world of germs, people, and newly acquired viruses.

Being in the middle of a pandemic alone wasn’t her favourite situation to be in. It felt better when she had company, people who would help her buy the essentials. As soon as situations eased up a bit, her quarantine partners left New York to be with their families. She was all alone now.

Looking at all the empty streets, Y/n was left with a weird sensation. The city that never slept had never been quieter. She was so used to being woken up by car horns and car alarms in the morning that during the first few weeks of lockdown, she found it hard to wake before noon. This quiet was almost poetic, like the stuff of post-apocalyptic films. Y/n wasn’t sure if the silence comforted her or terrified her.

There were more people in the store than she had expected, though all in their masks, she breathed in relief. She went straight to the personal hygiene section, remembering the most important item on her list, only to find that the store was all out of toilet papers, the one thing films didn’t guess would be a big problem. She rolled her eyes at the selfish people who had panic-bought more stuff than they would have needed.

She tried every store near her neighbourhood, and eventually was able to get the last set in the final shop she visited. Tired from driving all over the city in search of toilet papers, she went to the check-out line to finally buy her stuff.

Standing in her place, Y/n noticed the people in the store, few whose foreheads were furrowed, their eyes darting around making sure they were maintaining the mandated distance from others, panic evident on their mask-covered faces. Some others appeared plain bored. Already used to the new routine and just wanting to get it over with.

She was so lost her observations, she almost didn’t hear it, the woman behind her in the line coughed loudly, making people jump farther apart than the required six feet.

“It’s just allergies,” the woman announced in a nasal voice, rolling her eyes at people’s reaction.

As Y/n’s turn came at the check-out counter, she found herself frozen to the ground, she didn’t know why but the cough threw her off. It felt weird to react the way she did, but she could not make herself move. She was nervous. She wanted to laugh at herself for feeling this way because of a measly cough, but it wasn’t so simple and right now all she felt was fear.

“Oh for god’s sake,” the woman moved forward, pushing her aside and placed her items at the counter. Even the employee there seemed wary, but knew he had to comply to keep his job.

It was only after the woman left, was Y/n finally able to move, she shook her head as if to shake the incident away from her mind and finally paid for her items.

She ran all the way home, even though she knew she shouldn’t have. She couldn’t help herself, she just wanted to move away from the public and into the safety of her home as soon as she could.

As she entered her house, Y/n felt her chest tighten, as though someone was sitting on it, she couldn’t breathe properly. It felt like she was breathing through a squished straw.

In between her wheezing, she searched around for her inhaler in her side bag. She felt her breath coming back a few seconds after she breathed in the medicine. She fell to her knees in exhaustion and took in a few more breaths to calm down.

She then picked herself up and embarked on an extensive set of tasks- Taking off her gloves and mask, removing her shoes at the entrance of her house, washing her hands. But, this somehow didn’t seem enough to her, so she went ahead and took another shower, just to be extra sure.

While in the shower, she cursed her asthma. It wasn’t usually a big hurdle in her life, but now, everything was a hundred times worse. This was the first time she had feared for her life. Her anxiety was at an all-time high and all she had to keep her sane was her daily FaceTime calls with Harry.

Opening her laptop to do her work, she checked the numbers again- seventy thousand new cases. She sighed and closed her laptop, not having the motivation to do any work. She scrolled through her social media to distract herself only to be shoved more news about the coronavirus, she let out a groan of frustration and switched off her phone, deciding to take a nap instead.

Only she couldn’t sleep. She thought back to all the plans she made with Harry, promising him to be there next to him while he toured the globe. She laughed at the situation and how no one in a million years could have guessed the current world state.

She didn’t know when she fell asleep, but she must have as she woke up with a jolt in her bed after a strange dream. She shook her head and looked out her window to see the sky dark. She switched on her phone, it was 8 pm. She cursed to see three missed calls from Harry and one from her friend, Sarah.

Preparing herself, she called Harry.

“Where were you, I called like three times?” His voice was deeper than usual, she guessed he had just woken up because of her call. She calculated it to be 4 am in London, where Harry was. She felt bad for waking him up like that.

“I know, I switched off my phone and fell asleep. Sorry,” she grimaced.

Harry hummed in acknowledgement, “how you doing?”

She could hear rustling on the other side and imagined a sleepy Harry sitting up in his bed, his hair messy from his sleep, “Just missing ya’.”

“I know, I hate that I had to leave you like that, wish you could come with me,” there was a hint of a whine in Harry’s voice which made Y/n smile.

“Wish I had a visa for England, I really wanted to come too,” and she meant that. At least that way, she wouldn’t have to be alone.

“I’ll video call you tomorrow, it’s late here, or rather early,” what he was saying next was obscured by his yawn. She sighed, she missed him too much.

“Yeah sure, see you tomorrow, bye.”

“Bye.”

When the call disconnected, she messaged Sarah to ask what the call was about, who didn’t respond. She shrugged her shoulders and went down to the kitchen to start preparing for dinner.

It started with a headache. She didn’t ponder much on it and instead only took medicine to curb the pain enough to continue working.

It was when she felt a certain roughness in her throat, did she pay attention. Her cough worsened within days, she was having a hard time breathing normally. It felt like a less severe but constant asthma attack. She took her temperature, which showed her to be having a fever at 101°F.

It took her some time to even process what was happening to her, she initially wondered if it could be the flu or something non-covid, but she knew she couldn’t take the chances. Harry was the first person she informed.

“What are you saying?!” Harry was frantic, his forehead creased as he ran his fingers through his hair, messing them up.

“I have a fever, a cough, and I’m having difficulty breathing,” counting the symptoms on her fingers, she informed him again.

“It could be the flu, Y/n you didn’t even go outside. How could it be anything else?”

“H, I did go out to buy supplies, didn’t I? Maybe I got infected there somehow. We shouldn’t be kidding ourselves. I have to at least get tested.” You didn’t want to show him just how scared you were, but it was hard to keep your voice from cracking.

“I am scared, H,” you let the tears out. Your shoulders shook while you tried to wipe your tears as they were leaking from your eyes.

Harry closed his eyes, not being able to see you sobbing, “I know baby, but I know you’ll be strong. I will take the next flight to LA. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He promised, his mouth set in a hard line as a strong look of determination crossed his face.

She shook her head with as much strength she could muster, “No Harry, you shouldn’t keep travelling, plus, you can’t stay with me and I don’t want you staying at some hotel. It’s not safe.”

“Bu—”

“—I won’t hear another word about it. I have Sarah, and you have your work to take care of. I will be fine.”

She knew Harry wanted to say more, object to her claims, she would not be fine. But he knew it would be of no use, once she had made up her mind, it would be impossible to change it. So, he settled for a low nod.

“Keep me updated, I’ll also talk to Sarah. She better be there for it all. You should now call your doctor, see what’s the next step.”

Y/n nodded, smiling that Harry understood. She didn’t want to trouble him. She also wanted to pretend for a few more seconds that this was not a big deal.

She called Dr Gupta, her heart was beating at an all-time high and her energy was at an all-time low. She barely had enough breath to tell her doctor about her situation who booked an appointment for her to go to the nearest covid testing facility.

She took a deep breath, wore her protective gear and drove to the testing lab which was a ten-minute drive from her place. She was already out of breath by the time she reached the place.

When she was done with her test, she felt worse than she had before. Sarah called to check in on her, but Y/n didn’t have the energy to talk so Sarah video-called her, seeing Y/n’s face would have to be enough for her at that point.

Sarah’s eyes softened, seeing her best friend heaving, eyes shut and groaning due to her chest pain. But she knew, more than anything, her best friend was scared.

“I hope with everything that I am that the test comes back negative,” her voice was tinged with worry and genuine hope.

Y/n could only nod.

The call came two days later, Y/n sat up in her bed, she had been dreading this moment these past days, with Harry and Sarah to distract her.

The test came back positive.

She fell back into her bed, cushioned by her pillow and started shaking uncontrollably as she sobbed.

She felt insanely dehydrated by the time she stopped crying, she didn’t even get to call either of her friends. She stood up with a groan, and following one slow step after the other, she went to the bathroom to wash her now tear-stained face.

The call she made to Harry wasn’t an easy one. She knew he would take the news worse than she had, and her reaction was not a light one.

“I prayed. I promise I prayed Y/n,” his words were almost indecipherable in between his cries. His every tear followed the other with a ferocity never before noticed by Y/n.

Her own tears followed suite, she was so sure she had finished up all her tears, but she was proven wrong. Soon, the only conversation happening between the two was through their sobs.

She wanted to curse all the gods, she didn’t want to go through the pains of having this disease and she didn’t want to do it alone. Even though she had Harry and Sarah standing right beside her, knowing they would not be able to meet her in person, she had never felt more alone.

“I don’t feel good, H,” she confessed. Breathing was becoming difficult day by day, she would rather have an asthma attack twice a day than having this constant pressure on her chest and throat. She knew she had to tell him, “I have to get admitted to the hospital first thing in the morning tomorrow, they say my covid could be worsened because of my asthma,” she let out in between a series of coughs stopping her after every word.

Harry nodded, his heartbeat rising. He cursed himself for leaving his girlfriend alone in the country. If he hadn’t left, she would not be going through this, “I’ll tell Sarah, you go rest,” he promised, seeing it get increasingly difficult for her to even sit up in her bed.

If Y/n was scared before, then the hospital made it thousand times worse. It was a scary sight, the covid ward was in an isolated area of the hospital, the doctors and nurses were in full PPE kits, the patients were lined up next to each other separated by curtains. She passed a room with ICU written on the glass door. With what she could see, she noticed several other patients, some with masks covering their nose, probably providing oxygen. Others seemed in worse conditions, they were intubated via ventilators.

Seeing them facing the same crisis together, although away from their families, but forming a new family of sorts in solidarity to their conditions gave her little comfort. Those who wore the nasal masks and thus still had the ability to talk were speaking to each other, even reading something from their phones to those who were on ventilators. Covid had seemed like a situation she would have to go through alone, her initial views though were changing.

She was admitted to the regular covid ward, with the rest of the non-critical patients and would be observed overnight. She was assisted with oxygen through a nasal mask, just like the people around her, she had noticed.

“Hey, I’m Cecilia, call me Cece,” a thirty-something woman introduced herself from beside you. The curtain was partially open, allowing Y/n to see only her face.

“Y/n, nice to meet you,” she called back, smiling as much her energy would allow.

“Never guessed this is how I would be spending my lockdown,” she laughed lightly, pointing to her mask. She then followed it up with a cough, groaning with the strain.

Y/n felt bad for her, only to be subjected to the same.

These were going to be some long days. Though she did feel better knowing she would not be facing this alone. She looked around the room, at probably twenty patients around her, in the same situation as her, if not in worse conditions. She then thought back to the people in the ICU and what they must be subjected to.

Her phone brought her attention to itself, it was Harry FaceTiming her; putting on a smile, she picked up the call.

“Hey handsome,” she suggestively raised her eyebrows, not wanting to worry him any further.

Harry did not even notice her words, he was too busy gawking at her nasal mask, “what is that?” worry coating his voice.

“Oh just my new accessory, you like it?” although Y/n wanted to look nonchalant, the pain in her voice could not be hidden, she sighed, “They are giving me oxygen through this.”

Harry’s eyebrows were knitted together in worry, Y/n wanted to make him feel better. She could not rest knowing her love was out there worrying about her, “Look I made a friend,” she turned the camera to Cece laying next to her six feet apart, “Cece, say hi to my boyfriend, Harry.”

She had forgotten her boyfriend was a big deal but was reminded of it by Cece’s gasp, “Harry freaking Styles ohmigod ohmigod,” Cece squealed, making Y/n forget for a second that she was not a teenager.

“Hullo love,” Harry greeted her in his ‘fan voice’, a smile graced her lips. “Hope you beat covid and get better soon.” Cece’s smile made Y/n realise how long these people had gone without having a reason to smile and how desperately they needed it.

Cece’s squeal garnered the attention of the people around them. Noticing the pop icon on the phone screen, conversations started flowing between everybody. Introductions were made, friendships were formed and smiles were passed around, along with Y/n’s phone. So, she asked a nearby nurse if they could access a bigger screen so everyone could see and talk to her boyfriend.

When the staff hooked up a screen, Harry gave all the patients an impromptu concert. Y/n had not smiled in days the way this concert had made her. She expected fear, anxiety, deaths and instead got friends, laughter, and music.

When Harry was done performing for his audience, he gave her a brief look. “I love you,” she whispered to him, smiling when he returned the words.

The next day, she was woken up by the noises around her, she panicked for a moment, not recognising the place she was in; but calmed when she regained her senses and noticed the blue curtains of the hospital, several machines and the people they were attached to.

She made a short conversation with Cece but had to stop because she was getting out of breath. With every passing moment, her chest pain too was increasing. She did keep listening to people chat around her. Some were on calls with their family, others were busy reading books and listening to music. She kept getting shouts of gratitude from the people in the ward for Harry the previous night.

For the next two days, that kept her going. She learned about her fellow patients, Jonathan was 59 years old, his son was an engineer and he couldn’t have been more proud; Jaya was a 42-year-old woman with bronchitis and wanted to visit Paris at least once in her life. Marc was a 50-year-old diabetic who was in a band in the 80s, they were planning a reunion show. She met countless people, each with their own stories.

At about 10 am on a Thursday, her situation worsened. The doctors had come for a routine checkup, only to see that her oxygen levels were dropping steadily and she needed immediate assistance.

She was shifted to the ICU ward. She had to be intubated and thus was given a board and marker to write anything if she wanted.

“—Yes sir, she was shifted to the ICU this morning—”

“—We can’t say much right now, but we’ll inform you if anything changes—”

“—Okay, take care, Sir.”

Y/n heard bits and pieces of the conversation her doctor was having with Harry, although since she was on medication, she couldn’t register much of it. The nurses brought her phone to her, a silhouette moving on the screen.

“Hey baby, how are you feeling?”

Y/n pondered how to describe the immense pain burning through her respiratory passage and the lack of oxygen eating away her lungs and not give him nightmares. So, she offered him a tired thumbs up.

Harry watched his girlfriend cough, her face contorting in pain and could not control his tears, he didn’t want to think about the worst-case scenario but could not stop his mind from going there. He knew how low the chances were of people on ventilators coming back. But he had to remain positive, someone had to. She needed him to be strong for her. So, he wiped away his tears, put on his best brave face and talked to her.

He called her every three hours. Giving updates to her about his day, talking to her about whatever he could. He talked enough to compensate for the silence on her part. She smiled through every sentence, even though he could not see it, even though it wasn’t visible on her face, even though she didn’t have the power to, she smiled.

And she listened. So she didn’t have to focus on Josephine dying next to her or Augusta who was a hair length’s distance away from dying the previous day. Even though doctors told her that her situation was worsening, she listened because that became the only thing keeping her from giving up.

As her pains didn’t go away, and her condition worsened further, she was given sedatives and was thus mostly asleep. Which she was thankful for, for she couldn’t take it anymore, she just wanted to rest.

Dr Garcia came by routinely to check on her, talking to her about the outside world, gave her the gossips being passed around the hospital. Even though she was barely awake to listen to any of it, she was thankful for the kind doctor providing a calm lull while doing her job.

“Mr Styles, I’m afraid her condition isn’t getting any better. She should have shown atleast some improvements,” Dr Garcia informed Harry in a heavy voice.

On the other side of the line, Harry didn’t know what to do, it felt like someone was pulling away the floor under him. “What happens now?” He asked, praying for some hopeful news.

“We really can’t say much, each case is different, but it would be better uhm,” the doctor was thinking through her words, wanting to be as considerate as possible, “is there any family of hers that would want to talk to her?”

Harry almost let out a sob as he realised what the doctor was implying ‘is there anyone who would want to give her a final goodbye?’

“No, Y/n’s family passed away in an accident when she was 16, it’s just me and Sarah,” he explained, his voice on the verge of cracking, it was becoming harder to get words out of his mouth. He didn’t want to talk anymore, he just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry.

“Oh, I understand,” Dr Garcia nodded, feeling sorry for the young girl who had stolen the hearts of everyone in the ward. She was a sweet girl, who had dreams and still held love for life even after everything she had seen. “This is not the end, Harry, she can still recover, God, I pray she does, this is not the end.” She really believed the words she was saying and wanted Harry to feel the same.

He nodded, tears clouding his eyes. He too really wanted to believe that.

A beat of silence fell upon the conversation, both in deep thought, “Harry, she wrote something on her board when she was awake yesterday,” Harry’s ears pricked up, “she wrote and I quote ‘I will not give up’ with a smiley face at the end. She is a fighter, you remember that,” Dr Garcia gave her parting ways and went back to her work.

Y/n’s words were imprinted in Harry’s mind. After the call, he made himself more presentable, wiping his tears and drove up to the church near Y/n’s house. He had come back to LA after Y/n was admitted to the ICU. He couldn’t be five thousand miles away from her in that condition.

The church was almost empty, which was surprising to Harry, given the situation, but he wasn’t complaining. He walked up the aisle, his hand grazing each wooden bench as he reached the altar and kneeled. He didn’t what to pray or how to pray, but he tried anyway. He closed his eyes and called out to God; he prayed with every part in his body, with every bone, every muscle, every fibre of being for his love to get better. For her to keep fighting. And for him to gain enough strength to deal with it all.

All this time, he had been feeling so helpless, not being able to do anything to make her better. But he made peace with the fact that the only thing he could do right now was to have faith. To have faith in God to guide him and her, in Y/n to be the stubborn strong-willed woman that she was and continue fighting, he had faith in his faith and that it would not disappoint.

He stayed there, talking to God until the closing hours. He then went back to Y/n’s place and sat on the sofa, waiting by his mobile, ready for any phone call he might receive.

He was awoken the next day by his phone ringing on the coffee table next to him. He looked at the time, it was noon, he picked up.

“Congratulations Harry, she’s getting better,” the relief was evident in Dr Garcia’s voice.

Harry felt himself getting physically lighter.

“I mean there is still a long way to go, but her oxygen levels are rising, her lungs are recovering, she’ll be soon able to breathe on her own. Harry, she did it, she won,” Harry didn’t listen to the rest of what the doctor was saying, he was too busy falling in love with the love of his life. It felt like he himself had come back from the dead. He knew his faith could never disappoint.

“Thank you doctor, I’ll be waiting for the call when you tell me she’s tested negative,” he laughed, his lungs breathing in air after what felt like a lifetime.

Dr Garcia chuckled along with him and agreed, telling him Y/n would call him when she woke up.

“You know I love you right? My fighter,” Harry tightened his grip on her hand and kissed her knuckles.

Y/n’s head fell back as laughter bubbled out of her, “You just told me that like two minutes ago.”

“I know, but a few weeks ago I thought I would never get to say it to you ever again. So, I will keep reminding you every minute that I love you and that you are the strongest person I know,” he snaked his arms around her, placing his head on top of hers, “I really missed holding you.”

She breathed in Harry’s scent, slowly regaining her sense of smell, she had missed this too. She cupped his cheek with her right hand and gave him a light peck.

Harry grabbed the back of her head, keeping her lips on his, deepening the kiss. When they separated, he rested his forehead against hers, not wanting her to move even an inch away from him.

Noticing her deep breaths, he whispered in her ears, “This is the only reason I want you to be out of breath. This and well... the other one,” he smirked.

“Oh hush you,” Y/n blushed, she sucked in a breath through her teeth, “Shit man, I love you.”

#Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles one shot #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines #covid19 #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles angst #angst

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stefanmikaleson1864 · 4 years ago

Text

By Your Side Part 3 !! :)

Author’s Note: I had to use google translate for the Italian so I hope it makes sense :)

Sitting there waiting with Carina you could feel your stomach in knots and you both knew that this kind of stress was not good for the baby at all.

It was so close in your mind and worries yet so far away at the same time.

Carina was so worried but she tried to remain the strong one for the two of you. Even though she was feeling the same pain you were on the inside.

Meredith and Maggie and even Bailey came down and sat with you guys. Andrew was so loved by everyone in the Hospital.

Grey and Maggie shared stories about him and Bailey Talked to Carina.

You just sat there thinking about all the memories the two of you shared and even creating scenarios in your head about all the future ones you might have. Being a family together and being happy.

Living in a white picket fence house with a huge backyard. Andrew would be the best dad ever having Italian nights and celebrating Half birthdays even though at first you thought it was stupid you grew to love it

After what felt like hours had gone by Teddy came down to the waiting room to talk to you guys.

When she approached you it was kind of hard to read her face. Searching for any clues that might calm your nerves.

“ It was touch and go in there he did flatline but we were able to get him back. He lost a lot of blood and needed a transfusion. He’s back on the breathing machine and we need to go back in when his heart and body is more stable to repair the damage done to his heart,” She said to you and Carina.

“Thank you we appreciate it can we see him” ? Carina asked and Teddy nodded at her leading the way to his room.

Carina grabbed your hand and led you down the hall. She gave it a squeeze to and you did the same to her back.

A small gesture to be like I’m here I'm with you.

You finally reached the door and saw him. This time he was fully vented and wires and IV’s everywhere. His face looked pale yet he looked like he was peaceful sleeping.

You just stayed by the door watching Carina go by his side and she kissed the top of his head and grabbed his hand.

“Stai bene, sei così forte”. She said to him before sitting down in the chair.

She looked over at his other side and had realized you weren’t there and looked over at you standing in the doorway.

You don’t know why you couldn’t go over to him it was like your feet wouldn’t move and you couldn’t do it.

You hated seeing him like that and it was like you were almost afraid to touch him. You couldn’t explain this feeling.

Looking over at you Carina knew without you having to say it. You backed out the room for a moment and walked out to the nearest exit

. You walked close to a bench underneath this tree.

It felt good to have some fresh air on your face. You needed a break from the hospital and even thinking it made you feel like a bad person.

All you thought about was going home and taking a long shower and getting some food in you.

Also on the other hand you didn’t want to leave, you wanted to be here for everything and be by his side all the time.

Carina scared the crap out of you not even hearing her come out and sit down next to you.

“Hey Y/N it’s okay you know he wouldn’t want you to be this stressed and he would want you to take care of yourself and the baby. “ she said, taking her hand and grabbing yours in it.

“ I Know but it’s hard all i think about if something happens and I’m not here I won’t be able to forgive myself.” you said to her

“It’s just not about yourself anymore it’s about the baby too and you have to take care of them and yourself so that way you can be here for him.” She said to him

She stood up and pulled you up with her.

You both walked back to Andrew’s room and you walked over to him grabbing his hand and kissing his forehead. Not letting the anxiety and fear take over you.

“I love you Andrew and our baby loves you we need you so rest and heal and get stronger I love you with every part of me and every part of our baby.” you told him

You kissed his hand once more before walking away and grabbing your things. You and Carina both headed out. She also desperately needed the rest.

You both went back to yours’s and Deluca’s apartment.

You showered first letting the warm water wash away all the stress and anxiety and the hospital smell. It felt so good.

Carina ordered food to tired to cook she ordered a lot calming she was hungry and you needed the extra food for the baby. You wasn’t even mad you welcomed the food.

After your shower Carina was up next sitting on the couch with fresh Pajamas and watching TV waiting for her to be done and for the food.

It was like you didn’t know how much you needed this.

Carina walked out and sat down next to you. She let out a huge sigh and put her feet up on the coffee table.

The room was silent you both just winding down watching TV then the food came and you both pigged out so much. Almost all of the food you had brought was just about gone.

About a hour later you both agreed to go to bed early. You both headed to the bedroom Carina trying to say she would sleep on the couch but you wouldn’t let her the bed was big enough for the two of you.

You both fell asleep quickly your body’s just drained and exhausted. You slept all the way into the morning.

It was about eleven am and even Carina was still sleeping and you would have to if your phone haven’t gone off it was Dr. Webber you quickly answered it.

“Hello is everything okay” you said trying to sit up without waking up the sleeping Carina next to you.

“You both need to get to the hospital quick He woke up and is asking for the two of you.” he said and you almost dropped the phone you were so happy.

“Of course where on our way.” you said then ending the call.

You shook Carina awake she rubbed her eyes sitting up

“It’s Andrew he woke he’s asking for us let’s go.” you said and she jumped up and hugged you so hard.

“See I told you he would be okay.” she said smiling so big.

You both jumped up getting dressed and headed to the hospital. Heading over there you felt this weird pain in your stomach but you pushed it down to being nervous.

You wished that is what it was just nerves you wasn’t expecting what was to come...

#andrew deluca #giacomo gianniotti #andrew deluca imagine #andrew deluca x reader #andrew deluca one shot #greys anatomy #greys anatomy one shot #greys anatomy imagine #greys anatomy x reader #meredith grey #maggie pierce #miranda bailey

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andiboyo · 4 years ago

Text

Angst - Your Fault?

Pairing: Bucky x GN!Reader

Word count: 1236

Trigger warnings: Blood, mentions of death, Bucky being sad

Summary: You need to catch Zemo before he kills Karli, but what would happen if you were being reckless, causing Bucky to lose the thing Bucky loves most, you.

You were not too sure if it was your fault you had gotten into this mess, but all you knew now was you needed to get Zemo, gone from his binds, you followed him to where he was headed. Hearing a gunshot from the distance, you see the vague outline of Zemo pass through the door and into a room.

“Zemo!” You yell, trying to get his attention, failing.

Keeping his ground, he walked over to a tipped over table, Karli was on the other side. You knew that he would kill her in a heartbeat.

“Zemo stop!” You push him back.

Time seemed to almost pause at your actions, realizing it’s flaws and mistakes. Yet, it went so fast it seemed destined you would be in this situation. Pushing against Zemo, who was holding a gun, was not the best choice you’ve ever made, but possibly, the worst. A loud bang, and flash was heard, and the next thing you knew, you were on the ground. Zemo almost seemed frightened at what happened, and dropped next to you, calling to you in such a distant voice.

“(Y/N)!?” He echoed.

Knocked out, Zemo is hit with John’s shield, you reach for him, as if to get his attention, but he looks away, and to the last bile of serum on the ground. Your chest heaved in pain, you cry to him for help. But he was too focused.

“(Y/N)! What the Fuck happened??” Bucky jumps over the stairs, kneeling down to you, holding you upright.

Choking on your own blood, you feel cold. “Buck- I’m sorry, I tried- grabbing him, but I made him pull the trigger- I’m sorry- I’m sorry.” You repeat.

“No, no, no, don’t say sorry, it wasn’t your fault, we’ll take you to a hospital, and you’ll be okay? Right?” He looks to Sam, as if reassuring himself.

Sam though, looks at him, something missing in his eyes, hope. “We need to hurry to do that, they’ve lost a lot of blood.”

Picking you up in a swift motion, Bucky looks to Sam. “Where is the nearest Hospital?” He questions.

“One block down from here, it’s a big place, hurry, I’ll get Zemo back, but you can’t stay with them for too long, we still have a mission.” Sam looks down. “Just hope for the best.” He finishes.

Nodding, Bucky sprints with you in his arms, causing you to cry in pain. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, just hold on a little more.” He begs.

It was muffled, but your eyes felt heavy, holding onto his shoulder, you squeeze with the amount of strength you carry left.

“If-” You cough, swallowing down the blood that came up from your mouth. “If I die- don’t put this mission off- don’t” You stare blankly.

“You are not dying on me Doll. Stop talking like that.”

Making his way into the building, the nurses quickly grab you and escort you on a stretcher, where Bucky follows close behind, looking at you.

“Sir, What happened?” One nurse asks.

“They were shot, I’m not sure how much blood they’ve lost though.” He explains.

“We need you to stay out in the waiting room, we’ll try our hardest to make sure they’re stable.”

Nodding, but not falling back, he stops once you reach the door, and into the room he is not allowed in. Bucky knew that Ayo would be there when he arrived, so looking one last time at the door, he tells the receptionist that he would be back later. Agreeing, she tells him when they close, nodding he makes his way back to Sam and Zemo. Opening the door, he is met with a beautiful sight, John and Lemar fighting, or rather getting their asses beat. But right when one of them was about to stab John, he caught the spear. This goes on for a while until Zemo leaves, and makes them all go their separate ways. Sam turns to Bucky.

“I can’t believe he just did that.” He looks down at the sewer drain.

“I can.” Bucky declares.

“How’s (Y/N)?” Sam questions.

“I don’t know.” He sniffles.

“For now we don’t have anything to do, go there and I’ll call you when we have our next lead, okay?” Sam pats his shoulder.

Nodding sternly, Bucky returns back to the hospital, where the receptionist looks up, almost apologetic.

“Are they okay?” He asks.

“Their room is C10, I recommend you go in there now, the doctor will be in there.” She explains.

Walking silently to the door, he knocks, hearing someone make a noise of acknowledgement, he enters.

“You must be the man that brought them here, correct?” The doctor asks.

“Yes, are they going to be alright?” He stares at your figure, unconscious and not-moving.

“I have some bad news, sit down.” He points at the chair.

Sitting down, Bucky looks scared, terrified, what will happen to you? What has happened to you?

“They have been in a stable condition, and are now being medicated with painkillers, but that doesn’t matter due to the fact they have gone into a coma state, if you wish to ask any questions, do so now.”

“How long have they been like this?” He stares at his hands.

“1-2 hours now, they wanted to see you before they were falling unconscious, I am sorry we couldn’t call you, there was no phone number or contact we could find you from.” He explains.

Nodding, Bucky sits up. “How long do you think this is going to last.” Bucky sniffles, eyes red with tears falling.

“We- We are not sure, but with hope since it was a gunshot, they would be under for weeks maybe, but there is no 100%, they’ve been shot in between the Kidney and Liver, so it hit some vital organs.”

“I see, I need some time alone if you could, I’ll pay at the front desk for them.” He explains.

“Certainly, I wish the best of luck for them, and don’t beat yourself up about it.” The doctor states, before leaving.

Grabbing onto your hand, Bucky gives a slight squeeze, before bawling, choking in his own sobs. “Damn it (Y/N), why you, why?” He whispers, hiccuping a second later.

Standing, he can’t help but feel guilty, you wanted to see him before this happened, and he wasn’t there for you. Leaving the room, he pays and exits, calling Sam about your situation, Sam tells him not to speak about it over call and make it more clear in person. Making it back, Bucky is met with an embrace.

“I’m sorry man.” Sam whispers.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not yours either.” Sam explains.

“So when they were begging to see me before going into a fucking coma, it wasn’t my fault I wasn’t there for them!? It wasn’t my fault for not protecting them?!” Bucky snaps.

“No, it wasn’t Buck, you wouldn’t have known, and it couldn’t have been prevented, I want you to rest for now, we have to leave tomorrow for Karli. I swear to you we’ll come back for (Y/N) once they call. One call, and we’ll pause the mission, okay?” Sam explains.

Nodding in between sobs, Bucky lays down in his room, unable to sleep, haunted by your unmoving body, and heart rate on the machine whirring. This was Bucky’s nightmares coming to life.

#bucky barnes x you #bucky x y/n #bucky x female reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #the winter solider fanfiction #bucky one shot #bucky fluff #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes

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nade2308 · 3 years ago

Note

43 ‘bleeding out’ for Mac, please! 😃

A/N: I finally got around to finish writing this, hope you like it.

Mac was enjoying the light breeze that was caressing his face. After going non-stop on missions for the last few weeks, and the temperatures in the city rising, it was a welcome reprieve to retreat to the mountains for a week off. That, and Mac had some ulterior motives for it, that he planned on talking about with Jack, but that could wait. It was the best he'd seen his partner look since Jack returned from the Kovacs mission and Mac was loath to ruin that. But as they approached the end of their week camping, just the two of them, Mac knew that he had to broach the subject sooner rather than later.

The thing in question that had Mac ask Matty for a week off to recharge and recuperate was a hostage situation that turned from bad to worse so fast that Mac was still reeling. But how Mac felt about it wasn't the issue, it was how Jack handled it (or rather didn't handle it) that was scaring Mac. So Mac decided to take matters into his own hands. And here they were. In the mountains, having a week off, camping. Just the two of them and the mountain air and the ground serving as a bed and pillow. So far things were going great. And Mac was happy to spend some quality time alone with Jack.

Jack wasn't okay, not by a long shot, and judging by how fast Jack was thrown back into the spy world after the Kovacs mission, Mac wasn't surprised. He was surprised that it didn't happen sooner. And he wasn't going to fault Matty and Russ about that, but seeing as they needed Jack to come and save the day, they saw the bigger picture and not the little details.

They weren't aware, at least actively, that Jack was having some hard time adjusting to being back, and although Mac noticed that, it took him a while to discover the source of why Jack was feeling like a fish out of water. Mac's best bet was that Jack was feeling guilty for spending almost two years on the Kovacs hunt and then he just… simply shut down. It was Jack who came back, but not all of him was quite there, yet, and that's where Mac struggled the most with.

Jack was quiet next to him as they walked down one of the trails. He seemed lost in thought and once again Mac was reminded of the reason why he asked Matty to give them the week off. He needed to talk with Jack, so they could work things out. Mac had a suspicion that this ran deeper than just the Kovacs mission. And now with their most recent mission going sideways… it was just a matter of time when it'd all blow up.

Mac was following Jack when his leg suddenly slipped on a wet log on the ground and Mac's breath escaped in a whoosh as he fell on his back and something snapped underneath him.

At first he thought he broke something, but the pain came a moment later and Mac screamed. It was one of those surprised, unbidden screams. But the pain was unbearable and he couldn't stop screaming. He couldn't see what it was.

Jack came to his aid immediately, screeching to a halt in front of Mac.

"Oh, no, no, no."

"J… Jack?"

"Hoss, I need you to calm down."

"W-why?"

"You have a bear trap closed in around your calf."

"B-bear what?"

Mac was getting confused fast and realized that something warm and sticky was running down his leg, probably blood. But he couldn't think about it too much, he had to make sure that Jack didn't freak out. Which seemed to have taken place because Jack was still standing over him, unable to move.

The pain was getting harder to ignore.

"Jack, can you get it out?" Mac breathed out through clenched teeth, and it was taking a great effort to talk.

"Um… I am not sure I should do that, Mac."

"We need to move somewhere where you can patch me up. We are… not safe."

It looked like the comment in combination with Mac bleeding out was enough to convince Jack. He pulled the first aid kid they always took with them, and opened it, disinfecting his hands, and then set on pulling the trap away from Mac's leg.

Mac knew that it was probably wrong. But he was willing to take his chances, rather than have the teeth of the trap dig in further in the flesh of his leg.

In hindsight, the snap Mac heard was probably the bear trap.

Mac bit on his hand to prevent a loud scream when the trap unlocked and Jack had to maneuver his leg out of it. Tears sprung to his eyes from the pain he was in, but he refused to let them out. He had to hold on. Just for a little longer.

"Oh, God, no."

Mac was aware of Jack moving around and then something was putting pressure on his leg. He realized too late that maybe pulling the trap off of his leg wasn't the best course of action. Because he started bleeding faster than before, and the gauze Jack used to staunch the bleeding was rapidly soaking blood and doing nothing to stop the bleeding.

Mac wasn't above trying to clot his wounds with black pepper or gunpowder, but they had neither on them right now… well Jack was probably carrying a gun, or two. It was worth a shot.

"Jack, you'll have to cauterize the wounds until we can…" Mac trailed off and forgot what he was gonna say. There was so much blood…

"I can't… Mac, I don't want to hurt you further. You know how bad it can get if you get an infection on top of everything."

Mac looked between Jack and his rapidly bleeding leg. He was scared he was going to bleed out before Jack could help patch him up or get him to a hospital, but on the other hand he was hurting a lot and probably wasn't for the best to make decisions while he didn't have his head in the game.

"Bud? Mac?"

Mac realized he spaced out and Jack was frantically yelling his name.

"What are we gonna do, Jack?"

"It's not much, but I can wrap your leg and carry you to the Jeep. Then drive to the nearest hospital, I suppose."

There was something about the way Jack handled the situation, but Mac couldn't put his finger on it.

Thankfully, he didn't have to think too much, and let Jack take over. Jack was always wired to help and be of assistance, and seeing as Mac couldn't do anything, but kept trying to stay awake, Mac appreciated Jack's alertness. Even though the delivery was cold somehow.

…

Jack was staring in front of him, eyes unseeing beyond the white and green of the tile in the hospital. The drive was a blur, once he got in the Jeep and called Matty to tell her about what happened and request help in settling things with the hospital; he was done with thinking.

There was so much blood. On Mac, in the car, on Jack, on Jack's hands. Honestly, Jack had no idea how to deal with this. He was aware that he was headed towards a spiral, but he had no idea how to solve that. Mac was the one who usually helped Jack when he was getting towards the darker holes in his soul, but Mac wasn't there with him now. And Jack wasn't sure Mac would want to be around him anymore. Ever since Jack returned back from the Kovacs mission, things were strained. It felt like Jack was trying to fit back in, somewhere he once fit seamlessly. But lately, the pieces with jagged edges refused to get smoothed out.

Jack tried to explain it with the way things happened a couple of years ago. The hush-hush of the Kovacs mission, the way he shook Mac's hand instead of hugging him. Telling Mac that he was just a good friend. It was all just a way for him to distance himself from how he was really feeling, how his heart was split in a thousand little pieces. How breaking the kid's heart and most of all breaking his promise, was the hardest thing Jack had to do in his life so far.

It was that and the subsequent mission as well as the time he was absent from their lives that brought Jack back to that person he was in the Sandbox before him and Mac were paired up. It was someone Jack wasn't happy to see reappearing.

Mac was the one that pulled him out of that state of despair almost ten years ago. And Jack wasn't sure that Mac would want to extend him the courtesy again. Because Jack left. He broke his promise. Why would Mac want to help him again, right?

Mac shouldn't be even close to Jack now. Jack was danger. The first moment alone with each other and Mac got caught in a bear trap. It was all Jack's fault. He was the one who screwed things up. He should have never returned. Just brought them more pain.

And he got people killed, the hostage negotiation from a week ago flashing in his mind. He was a killing machine, there was a reason why the Army kept him as long as they did. He was the best of the best for a long time. Give him a rifle and a target and then set him off into the wild.

Mac changed that.

Mac.

Whose blood Jack had on his hands.

…

Several more hours of waiting and a silent breakdown later, a doctor came out to the waiting room, relaying to Jack that Mac was going to be okay and that he was going to recover. As expected, he lost a lot of blood, but he was expected to make full recovery.

That made Jack feel a bit better, although he still felt guilty for going with Mac's plea to remove the trap from his leg. Jack could still hear the sharp click as the metal embedded itself into Mac's skin, the sick squelch sound it made when Jack pulled it off, the smell of blood, the iron from the blood mixing with the rust on the bear trap.

It was everything he could do to force himself to make the short trip to the bathroom where he threw up. After he was done, Jack washed himself thoroughly, making sure he scrubbed his skin until there was not a speck of dried blood or vomit and his hands and arms were pink.

And okay, he might have scratched harder and left some bloody trail of his own.

The doctor was gone when Jack returned from the bathroom, and he had no idea where to look for him. Jack forgot to ask if Mac was transferred to a room or not…

There was a nurse that appeared to his side and asked if he was Jack, telling him that the handsome blond in room 305 was asking for him. Jack went with her, because as much as he wanted to stop giving the kid grief, he would never deny him anything.

…

Mac could tell that he was on the good stuff because he didn't feel anything other than the floaty feeling which meant the painkillers were doing their thing. Otherwise, Mac was sure that he would be screaming in pain.

He was disappointed to see that Jack wasn't in the room when he woke up, but Mac knew that Jack was probably sulking off somewhere, trying to tell himself what he did wrong. And Mac didn't want that. Asking one of the nurses if she could find Jack and describing Jack the best he could, Mac hoped she could track him down.

(And okay, Mac might have been a bit loopy and waxed poetic about how amazing his partner was, but if asked Mac would say it was the drugs).

When the nurse returned with Jack in tow, something in Mac settled, but he could tell that Jack was having a hard time so he mustered up some strength to stay awake and talk to Jack.

Mac knew that he shouldn't have waited so long to talk to Jack, but what happened with the bear trap earlier put things into perspective. He knew that if he was to repair whatever ended up broken between him and Jack, he had to attack things head on.

"Jack."

"Hey, Mac. I am glad you are awake. You scared me, buddy."

"I think I scared myself. I'm so sorry about this."

"Why are you sorry for? It's not like you put the trap there yourself."

"I tripped. God, I'm a grade A klutz."

"That you are."

Mac could detect a hint of a smile in Jack's words, but he could tell it didn't reach Jack's eyes. His partner and best friend was still locked somewhere in that bad space where he was when Mac met him back in 2011.

"Listen, Jack, I want to talk to you about something."

Jack exhaled and Mac watched as Jack clenched and unclenched his hands in fists in his lap. He wanted Jack to hold his hand as always, but he also recognized why Jack was holding himself back.

"If you want to tell me that it's not my fault, save your breath, I know that it is, so…"

"Actually, it's not about that. But you are right about that one. It's not your fault. I begged you to remove the trap, and in hindsight I knew I shouldn't have, but it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"You… you were bleeding so much. I couldn't help you. I couldn't stop it. I did this."

"How? Let me reiterate what you said earlier. You didn't put that trap there, Jack. You couldn't have known. And I asked you to remove it. Okay?"

Another sigh.

"Yeah, okay."

Mac wasn't entirely convinced that Jack believed him, but he couldn't think much about it right now. He wanted to talk to Jack about something else.

"What was that you wanted to talk to me about?"

"About what happened a week ago."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"I think we should."

"Mac, don't."

"Look, Jack, it's obviously bothering you. And something tells me this is not recent."

"Mac, please… I don't want to talk about it."

"It hurts. It hurts seeing you like this, Jack. I can't watch you destroy yourself systematically and blaming yourself for everything that happens. That's indeed who you are, you carry guilt the size of Texas in you, but this needs to stop."

The moment Mac saw anger and hurt flash on Jack's face before he schooled his features, he hated himself a little bit for using the way he felt to make Jack realize just how far he was gone in that dark hole again.

Just because this time Jack was functioning normally, or as normal as possible, it didn't mean Mac was blind to his partner obviously being depressed and maybe hating himself in the process.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't need an apology, Jack. I just need you to understand that just because you were absent for two years, it doesn't mean that you stopped being important to me and the others. We are family. And obviously something is bothering you. I want to know what it is. I want to help you, Jack."

"It's not on you, Mac. I can deal with it on my own. There's no need-"

"Oh, so my problems are your problems, but your problems are what? Chopped liver?"

"Kid, don't."

"Don't what? You are spiraling, Jack! You are so far gone, you can't even look me in the eye and I can tell that you are hurting. Talk to me, big guy. Please."

Mac could tell that he hit a nerve because Jack immediately looked up. The storm brewing behind Jack's brown eyes was about to start. And the worst of it was that Mac didn't know what to expect from Jack when it hit.

"You want to know why the hostage negotiation hit me so hard? Because that's how… that's how we got Kovacs. That's how I killed him. One cold and calculated killshot. Is that what you wanted to hear, Mac? Does that make you feel better?"

"No. But that's the most I've heard you talk about since you returned so I'm counting it as a win."

"When I accepted to lead the taskforce on getting Kovacs, I did it to protect you. I inadvertently hurt you and that's something I'll never forgive myself for. That and calling you just a good friend. You are so much more than that to me, Mac. I hope you can find it in you to forgive me one day."

"I forgave you a long time ago, Jack. And I know why you went. I read the report. I know my dad was behind it. And I know that you think you should punish yourself for it. But you shouldn't."

"I left you, kid. I promised I wouldn't and then I did. What does that make me if not a traitor? I don't deserve you."

"Hey, hey, now, stop."

Mac made an effort to move his hand and take one of Jack's and hold on.

"Jack. Did it hurt that you left? Yes. But I know why and I don't blame you. I would do it too, if I was put in such a position."

"I didn't… I went back to my old self, Mac. I became the ruthless killer the Agency and the Army needed at their disposal. And the way I shot that guy holding the kids hostages, my hand didn't even shake or move an inch. It was the steadiest I've ever hit anyone since… Kovacs."

"You are not ruthless, Jack. You never were."

"I'm not so sure about that, hoss. I didn't feel anything. When I pulled the trigger, I didn't feel anything. And that scared me more than I'm willing to admit. That's why I'm acting like this. I am dangerous. And I don't want to hurt you in the process. More than I already have, anyway."

"You are not dangerous, Jack. You are just you. And that thing you are feeling… that's part of you. You know, there was a wise man that once told me that darkness was part of us as well and that we need to embrace it in order to live with ourselves easier. And I don't know about you, but I have taken that advice to heart."

"I did say that to you now, didn't I?"

"It's time for you to take your own advice to heart, Jack. I won't throw you away just because there's a little bit of darkness in you. We both have done things we are not proud of, but we learned to live with it. And I know it's been a while since you had to do it, but I'm going to help you with reminding you how to do it. Okay?"

"Okay."

This time Jack's words sounded more convincing and Mac let himself smile. They just took the first step together.

"And Jack? It's okay to let us take care of you every once in a while. You need a break, too."

"Tell me about it."

As if on cue, they both yawned and burst into giggles. Suddenly Mac got an idea and he knew that it was impossible to make it work, he wanted Jack close.

"Come on, come here." He started tugging on Jack's hand.

"What? Where?"

To make his point clear, Mac made an effort to move on the bed.

"Hoss, you can't just ask me to take from your space, hold on, hey, stop it."

There was a thought that Mac filed for later, how easy it was to pull Jack into the bed while he was injured and on painkillers.

"We shouldn't be doing this, kid. You are injured."

"I know that, Jack. But I need you to get some rest too. And you never will until someone makes you, so I'm doing it. Now, hold me."

"So bossy." But Jack obliged and Mac felt himself truly relax in Jack's hold.

"Are we going to be okay, Mac?" Jack suddenly asked and he felt more than he heard Jack sigh.

"Yes, we are. I got you, Jack. You know, you watch my back and I watch yours. It still stands."

"Thank you, kiddo."

"Don't mention it."

#100 drabble challenge #drabble #writing #my writing #fan fic #my fic #prompt number 43 #bleeding out #Mac whump #Jack angst #angus macgyver #jack dalton #macgyver #macgyver 2016 #AU

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unlikelyempathpruneauthor · 4 years ago

Note

Can you write anything about Joshua Bassett and his love interest where her appendix bursts and he rushes to the hospital to be with her and confesses his love for her while she's in on sleeping meds but then says it again when she's awake?

Summary: josh confesses his feelings about you while you were on sleeping meds.

A/N: OMG I love this, sorry it took me a while to write this, but hopefully its what you wanted. Also I had to do some research of the pain, no biggie, but this was fun to write. also the gif is such a mood lol.

The pain you felt had been going on for a couple days. You didn't really think much of it since you were lactose intolerant, you were just thinking it was the normal stomach ache you got when you ate ice cream, which time and time and again has taught you the consequences.

The pain had started again when you and Josh were reading over your line for your current show, where you two were love interests.

Again you thought nothing of it, hoping it wasnt that noticeable to josh, however he knew something was wrong, you weren't your usual self, i mean not that he was obsessed with you...i mean he was slightly, but not in a creepy type of way. He liked you very much, you know more than friends type of thing, but you didn't know that.

Again that sharp pain that was very slight had hit you again and this time it was really noticeable to the both of you. Josh looked up from his scripted and frowned and your facial expressions and the way you would place your hand on your belly.

“Hey you okay?” he said as he sat up and got next you hoping you were okay.

“Uh yeah, i am totally fine.” you said but josh knew that was such a big lie. He had given you the “really” look so you gave in and told him about the pain you have been feeling for the past couple days.

“Have you talked to a doctor, I can take you to a hospital nearby just to make sure.” he said as you were grateful for how much he cared for you. He cared so much more than when you would get a paper cut he would grab his bandages he would carry and make sure you were okay.

“Josh, it's fine, and no I haven't talked to a doctor, maybe it's just the daily flow you know?” you said as he nodded, but wasn't sure if this was what was going on with your body.

He suggested you two spend the night together to make sure that's what was going on. You two had gone to bed and surprisingly you fell asleep pretty fast.

..but then there was this stronger flow of pain that hit you much stronger than you ever thought pain could be. Your groaning was pretty loud that josh woke up started wondering what had happened.

“Oh my god-” you said as the pain hit you again not being able to finish your sentence. Josh got out of bed and got dressed and made sure he had your shoes so he could take you to the hospital.

“Come on i'm taking you to the hospital okay, everything is gonna be alright.” he said as you nodded and he pretty much carried you to the care and you surprisingly buckled yourself. Once the car was tuned on he started heading to the hospital nearby, he had done a little of his own research knowing where the nearest hospital was.

“H-how do y-you know w-where to g-go?” you said as again the pain was getting to you again.

“I just wanted to be prepared in case something happened.” he said as those words were rushing out of his mouth and you two had gotten to the doors of the ER and Josh had carried out again trying to get you some help. He had explained what was going on and some doctors took you away to see what was going on. After he had parked the car he waited patiently in the waiting room hoping everything was alright. He had called the directors letting them know what had happened so they knew you two would be gone the next day.

An hour later the doctor came out and called out your name.

“Family of y/n y/l/n?” he said as Josh quickly got up hoping you were more than okay.

“Are you her boyfriend?” he asked as Josh stammered at the question.

“Uh yes I am her boyfriend.” he said as he liked saying that hoping he would be able to say it again, but his mind went straight back to you.

The doctor had explained what was wrong and that everything was going to be fine and relief hit Josh instantly, being grateful that you were okay. He was given the okay to see you and he was more than happy to see you.

“The sleeping meds should wear off in a little, so she should be waking up alright?” a nurse told him as he nodded and sat next to you holding your hand, he knew you probably weren't gonna feel his hand on yours, but he just wanted to hold your hand for a while before you got up.

He had looked at you for a while seeing how peaceful you look sleeping, with no more pain. He wished he was able to take that pain away sooner, but knowing that the pain was gone now made him happy.

“Gosh y/n, i love you so much, i know we’re just friends, but i want more. You're it for me and i wish i could tell you, but i'm scared to loose you, i love our friendship so much i can't risk ruining it. If i can't have you as mine, at least i'll have you as my best friend.” he said as he saw your hand move and you were waking up only to see the ceiling and turning to josh with a smile on your face. That's one of the many things he loved about you, even if the circumstances were quite bad you still smiled on through.

“Hey, you're awake.'' Josh said with a smile as you laughed, but then groaned a little.

“Oh ouch, what happened?” you asked as he started with a chuckle.

“Well your appendix burst i guess, but we were right on time, so they did surgery on you.” he said as you nodded knowing your mother would be questioning your usage on your bank account.

“Welp, good thing i had you with me.” you said with a smile as he was overthinking whether or not you had feelings for him. So he did what most guys do when they like a girl.

“I like you, but not like as a friend, i like you more as a friend, god im in love with you, and i know the timing is pretty bad because we're doing a show together, but i love you.” he said as you smiled and you swore to yourself that you might be dreaming but you knew this was real life.

“Are you sure i’m the one who got the sleeping meds?” you said jokingly as josh chuckled a little knowing that he had made a huge mistake.

“I love you too josh.” you said as he looked back up at you hoping this was also real and that it wasn't the pain medicine talking.

“Wait, you do? Like actually?” he said as he was holding you had and you nodded and repeating the words once again.

I love you to goof.” you said as you reached down on his face and kissed him. After the kiss broke he was left in awe and he had kissed you again with a more passionate touch.

“Well looks like I'm your goof.” he said as you laughed and he had gotten on the bed with you so you two could cuddle before returning back to your lives.

#joshua bassett x you #joshua basset x reader #joshua basset imagine #joshua bassett

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florenceandthemachine · 4 years ago

Note

Hi ❤️ if you’re still talking prompts could you write Buck temporarily going blind and Eddie helping him cope till he gets better? Only if you want, no pressure and thx 😘

COMBINED WITH BUDDIEWEEK2020 PROMPT

July 8th - Day 3: “We can do this.” + hurt

also I want you to know it was very difficult for me not to turn it into a permanently blind emotional rollercoaster that you definitely did not ask for.

(xoxo to @buckleydiazs for giving it a once over before posting!)

Every time Eddie closes his eyes, he relives his mistake.

He can see Buck taking the stairs two at a time, clearing the last floor of the burning apartment building. He can see the ladder at the end of the hallway, the light at the end of a burning tunnel. He can see part of the ceiling give way as he turns, reaching for Buck, too slow, too fucking slow, and Buck—

—is gone, pushed through the floor by the caving-in ceiling, what Eddie was sure was a scream drowned out by the roar of the flames.

They find him, of course they do, half buried beneath rubble three floors down with a cracked helmet, broken mask, and blood leaking sluggishly around the temples. Buck is out cold—which is probably for the best, because when Eddie peels his helmet off as Chim speeds through the Los Angeles streets to the nearest trauma hospital all he can see is blue, and black, and red, splashed over the bridge of Buck’s nose, his lids, from ear to ear.

Retinal detachment.

Orbital fracture.

Extreme ocular trauma.

“It’s too soon to tell. The surgery went well, but the healing is where... well, where the healing happens. The gauze needs to be changed daily, and the tape on your lids needs to be removed in two weeks time—by that time, the nerves in your...”

Eddie started to zone out while the doctor was talking, his hand nearly numb from how hard Buck was squeezing it, not that he was going to complain. He had only left the hospital twice in the 60 hours Buck had been admitted—once during Buck’s surgery to drive home, take a well needed shower and a change of clothes, and once to pick up some coffee because he felt about as dead on his feet as Buck looked, and that was saying a lot.

Buck, who had thrashed around and nearly punched Eddie in the face when he came to after the surgery, because he couldn’t fucking see. Buck, who had stitches in his fucking eyeball and two metal rods in the bone around his nose to keep the cartilage from sinking back and puncturing his brain. Buck, who had his eyelids taped shut—which was barbaric in a way Eddie couldn’t properly describe.

“Do I look like a mummy?” Buck had asked after he woke up, near monotonous, and Eddie had to stop himself from near hysterical laughter—he just had two circles of gauze packed toward his eye sockets, another layer of tape beneath the fluff to keep his lids shut.

“Now, Mr. Buckley, who will you be staying with?”

And god, after less than three days, Buck was being discharged.

Eddie blinked, bringing himself back to the present as he heard the question, giving a small gesture with his hand—and remembering Buck couldn’t see it. Off to a great start. “Me. I’ll be taking him back to our home, the only hard part will be convincing my kid that it’s not a two week sleepover vacation.”

If Eddie didn’t already know how low Buck was feeling, the fact that he didn’t even try to argue said more than enough.

Eddie had immediately cashed in three weeks of his paid time off—he had racked plenty up with all the overtime he had worked his first few months on the team, before Carla, the patron saint of financial aid had swooped into his life. He wasn’t about to leave Buck alone, not for a minute if he could help it, but Eddie knew better than anyone that sometimes, things didn’t happen as planned.

The first few days of Buck staying with them had gone... alright. Tensions were sky high, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out why, but thankfully Chris was in the house more often than not on the weekend, and it was impossible to be tense or angry when Chris was in the room, even if you couldn’t see him.

At night, though, everything changed. Tension turned to despair, and Eddie had never been more thankful that the guest room was next to his own, on the opposite side of the hall from Chris’ room—he knew the nightmares would be coming hard and fast, and he knew Buck would have never forgiven himself if he scared Christopher with them.

The past two nights, all Buck had needed to anchor himself was a firm touch, a loud enough noise, something to anchor him to the situation, but Eddie could tell that wasn’t going to be enough when he opened Buck’s door a few nights into his stay.

Partially because of his own guilt, maybe, but mostly because Buck sounded like he was fighting for his life.

“Buck, come on, wake up—you’re safe, you’re home with me and Chris, you’re okay, fuck, Buck—“

He finally pulled Buck upright, hands on his shoulders, and Buck gasped, head snapping side to side. “Eddie, what’s going on, where—where the fuck am I, Eddie, what—I can’t see, Eds, I can’t fucking see, I—“

It was only years of Army training that had Eddie’s reflexes moving fast enough to grab Buck’s hands as he moved to claw at his eyes, to rip the gauze and tape off of his lids.

“Listen to me, you’re safe. You’re okay. Come on, Buck. We can do this. I got you.” Keeping his voice as low as possible, Eddie pulled Buck’s wrists toward his own chest, and to his complete dismay, he could feel the moment that Buck’s mind caught up with him. He fell forward, limply pushing his forehead into Eddie’s shoulder, body wracking with sobs as Eddie let go of his wrists and just held his friend, his Buck, who had become completely undone in his arms.

He couldn’t bring himself to say anything, too afraid that the wrong thing would come spilling out, so he just held onto Buck and let him cry, only loosening his grip when he felt Buck’s breath start to even out again, only interrupted by the occasional hiccuping sob or hitch of emotional aftermath. He didn’t realize that Buck had passed out again until it was too late; it was hard to tell in the first place, not being able to see if Buck’s eyes were open or shut, but by the time he realized Buck had literally cried himself asleep he couldn’t even imagine waking him back up just so Eddie could leave.

Also… he didn’t really want to leave.

Slowly pulling the sheet up around Buck’s shoulders, Eddie wiggled himself back down against the headboard, his own eyes closing. He had certainly had worse sleeps—anywhere overseas came to mind—but that was an afterthought. If this is what it took to help Buck feel safe, so be it.

It was the best night of sleep he had gotten in weeks.

The next night, after he had read to Chris and wished Buck a good night, Eddie only needed to pick up on the smallest of hesitations from Buck before he took Buck’s hand and led him into his own bedroom. Buck’s shoulders sagged in relief as Eddie helped steer him into his bed, laying close enough that their legs were touching, but far enough that they still had plenty of their own space, the small contact hopefully enough to ground Buck into the present.

And if Eddie secretly loved the mornings where he would be lucky enough to wake up with Buck any degree closer, well, that was his own business.

Staying together in the same bed didn’t stop Buck’s nightmares, of course, not that Eddie expected it to. What it did was give them both the ability to stop them before it got too bad—with the solid resistance of another body beside you, it was harder to let a dream spiral down too far. He wish he didn’t know this from experience, but... well, he was far from perfect, and that was becoming more and more obvious every day.

The hardest part of it all was that Buck was a morning person, which, who would even have thought that were a thing? Eddie took advantage of sleeping in whenever possible—he had been known to drop Christopher off at school on his days off and get another hour or so of shut eye—but by the time his first alarm went off, Buck had almost always untangled himself from Eddie’s form and retreated to his own side of the bed, and that wouldn’t do.

(When had Eddie started to think of it as Buck’s side of the bed? He really didn’t want to look into that too deeply.)

Eddie started to push himself—waking up ten, fifteen minutes before his alarm, just to enjoy Buck’s closeness, his warmth.

He was getting used to it too quickly, forgetting that this wasn’t actually his, even as he dreamed of spending a sleepy Saturday in bed with Buck, looping an arm around his waist.

“Eddie?”

Fuck. He was awake, and apparently, so was Buck.

His mind immediately kicked into overdrive, not sure if he should pretend that he was still asleep or snap his hand back and apologize, but thankfully, Buck made up his mind before Eddie could. He felt Buck’s arm move atop of his own—not pushing off, just resting alongside, the limb a line of heat along Eddie’s arms as their fingertips brushed. “…this is okay with you?” Buck asked, and Eddie let out a rush of air, nodding, nose tickling the back of Buck’s head. “Yeah Buck, it’s, um. I like it. And if you like it, that’s even better. It’s great! I mean, it’s the least I could do, I guess.” God, Eddie, shut the fuck up.

“… the least you could do.”

Eddie swallowed as he heard the frown in Buck’s voice, knowing instinctively that he was in trouble as Buck moved himself, rolling to face Eddie—probably more out of force of habit than anything, considering they couldn’t exactly meet eye to eye.

“Edmundo Diaz.” Yup, he was in trouble. “You don’t actually think that this is your fault, do you?” Buck said, his tone uncertain, brows furled even with the little bit of motion they had.

“… it’s just… you were right there, Buck. You were right in front of me, and then you were gone. I couldn’t catch you, couldn’t do anything. I was too slow to act, even when you were in arms reach of me, and now you might be blind.” His voice was thick with emotion as he looked over Buck’s face, hating now more than ever that he couldn’t see the others eyes, see how upset or disappointed Buck must be in him. He felt his own throat tighten as he looked down, his arm burning where it was on Buck’s hip. He didn’t even deserve to be in the same room as Buck, let alone touch him, and—

“Eddie, shut the fuck up.”

His jaw snapped shut with an audible click, Buck’s tone like concrete, heavy and unyielding as he jabbed a finger into Eddie’s chest. “You don’t get to apologize because you haven’t done anything wrong. Hell, you’re the only one doing anything right. You’re here, you stepped up, you’re helping me, you’re... hell, where is anyone else? You don’t get to apologize for stepping up, for making sure that I had... well, don’t think I didn’t notice you calling this our home.”

Buck was getting more and more animated as he spoke, and Eddie found himself floundering a little bit, trying to keep up with what Buck was saying (and fuck, had he really said that?). “Buck, I just—”

“Eddie, this is not your fucking fault and I won’t hear you say that ever again.”

...well. Eddie might have disagreed, but he wasn’t stupid enough to argue, not when he had an angry Buck in his bed. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be sorry about it anyway.” he grumbled, aware that he sounded like a petulant child—and if anything, the small smile that Buck had on his face meant Buck thought so too.

“Well, fine. I’m sorry too.”

“What? Buck, what do you have to be--”

“Sorry it took me having a major accident to get you to cuddle with me.”

“What! We aren’t—I didn’t—this isn’t—”

“Eddie, shut up.”

Eddie would have protest when he felt Buck’s shoulders start to shake, worried he had said the wrong thing again—but Buck was laughing, the sound muted under his breath, and Eddie let out a dramatic puff of air as he collapsed back to the bed, his arm back at Buck’s hips.

But, he did shut up.

Eddie almost slammed his head on the hood of his car when he heard a crash coming from the kitchen. He bolted out of the garage, hands stained with oil, swearing as he stumbled in to the main house, almost tripping up the stairs.

“Wait, Eddie, stop!”

Buck’s face was angled toward Eddie’s direction, hand out, obviously having heard him stumble down the hall. Eddie froze in place, eyes huge as he took in the scene—everything looked fine, Buck was upright, he wasn’t bleeding, but the ground around him was glittering with broken glass; nothing more than a broken dish, but Buck was barefoot.

Buck was okay. Eddie hadn’t failed him again. He hadn’t let him get hurt again.

Taking a few steps loser, he let the wrecked look on Buck’s face register for only a moment, wishing for nothing more than to make it go the fuck away. “Hey, okay, you’re good, it was just a plate.”

“And a glass.”

“I’ll pay for it, I promise.”

“Buck, if you think I own any nice dishes after having a kid, you have another thing coming.” Eddie laughed in spite of himself, only encouraged when Buck let out a wet sounding chuff. “Are you okay with me just lifting you out of here? It’ll be the easiest way to get you out of glass before I sweep everything up.”

Buck lifted his arms in response and Eddie had to bite down another laugh as he lifted the other male easily, his hands latched beneath his rear end, Buck’s chest right against his face. He brought Buck easily to the couch and deposited him there, getting a little hasty with the broom as he cleaned up—but Buck looked so miserable, he couldn’t stand to leave the other alone for any longer than he absolutely had to.

It made Eddie want to scream—not because of the situation, but because of everything leading up to it. The day before, Buck had tried to start cleaning the dishes, and had nearly impaled himself with one of Eddie’s pairing knives. The night before that, he had almost started a kitchen fire, cleaning the stove with cooking spray instead of Lysol. Buck passed both of these off as just trying to be helpful, but Eddie was about to pull out his hair—not because the situations were stressful, but because Buck kept coming closer and closer to hurting himself, and Eddie couldn’t accept that.

Tossing the glass into the garbage, he grabbed two beers and cracked them both open, making his way over to the couch with a sigh. “Alright, Buck, what’s up? Why are you pushing yourself so hard, when you only have a few days with the tape left?”

Eddie knew the answer before he even asked, the emotion on Buck’s face more clear than ever as he looked down. “Because I have to. What if I don’t get my vision back? All I want in the entire world is to rip this tape off, to—not even to see, just to know. I can’t stand not knowing, Eddie, I can’t. If I’m blind, I can’t be dependent on you forever, I can’t—”

“Hey, hey, take a breath.” Eddie easily took Buck’s hands in his own, squeezing them reassuringly, eyes studying the visible portions of Buck’s face, his thumb stroking over the pulse point in Buck’s wrist. “You know that whatever happens, we’ll be here for you, right? Chris and I aren’t going to let you face this on your own.

Buck let out another wet sounding laugh, sniffing as he shook his head. “Eddie, I told you, this wasn’t your fault—”

“I’m serious, Buck. We’re not letting you go. I’m not letting you go.”

Any protests that Buck had died in his throat as Eddie shrugged, his hands stilling beneath Eddie’s, suddenly painfully aware of their proximity. Eddie had to bite his lip to avoid laughing as Buck started to lean up, head moving on its own accord, because of course it would take Buck going blind to finally pick up on the signals Eddie had been broadcasting since forever—

“Eddie, I’m blind, you have to tell me if I’m misreading this, because I can’t see your stupid handsome face at all, and—mmphs!”

Eddie swallowed a laugh as he leaned in and claimed Buck’s lips with his own, feeling the quick moment of shock melt into something better, easier. His mouth was warm against Buck’s as he tilted his head, hand coming up to cup his jaw, only encouraged by Buck’s little moans as he melted into Eddie’s side.

The smile on his face was so bright when he pulled back that Eddie felt like he could feel the warmth from it sink into his skin, the heat from Buck’s breath dancing over his face, and nothing could bring him down from this high, not even Buck’s moment of insecurity as he squeezed Eddie’s arms.

“...you’re smiling, right?” Buck asked, his voice low, his own face cut into a shy smile that Eddie would have paid hard cash money to look at for the rest of his life.

Rather than answer, Eddie took Buck’s hands in his own, letting Buck’s fingers trace over his face, his smile, taking every moment he could to kiss the fingers that traced over his lips. Buck couldn’t help but laugh as he swatted Eddie’s shoulder, the sound warming Eddie to his very core—it was the first time in weeks that he had heard Buck laugh, he realized. Letting his arms slide back around Buck’s waist, he had to sigh as they fit back into one another’s space.

Chris didn’t even question finding the two of them like that when Carla brought home, because bless that kid. He just let his backpack fall to the floor, grabbed a blanket, and curled into Buck’s side. Buck, to his credit, let out a happy hum, wrapped an arm around Chris, and that was that.

(Two days later, Carla spent an absurd amount of time peeling the tape off of Buck’s eyelids, but Eddie couldn’t even complain about the laborious process when Buck’s eyes opened slowly, squinting as he started to re-focus.

Eddie held his breath as Buck’s eyes flickered over to him—not knowing if Buck could see was killing him, but he couldn’t bring himself to ask, biting his lips as a smile bloomed over Buck’s face.

“God, you’re cute.”

Eddie wasn't sure if he was laughing or crying as Buck spoke, pulling his teammate—his Buck—into his arms, but he didn’t care. All that mattered right now was Buck, tight in his arms.)

#911week2020 #buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #hurt/comfort #buddiefic #911 #911fic #flospeaks #mutually assured devotion #buckleyevan

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dirtydobrik · 4 years ago

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fractured ankle - j.w.

plot: you break your ankle while on a hike with your boyfriend jeff and he wants to take care of you

word count: 1830

author’s note: sorry for not posting lately, i’ve had such bad writer’s block and didn’t like anything i was writing about david, so i decided to try something new and write about jeff!

masterlist

“Baby, get up,” Jeff whispered, nudging you softly. He was standing over you, already dressed for the hike he wanted to take you on.

It was still dark outside and you blinked rapidly as your eyes adjusted to the light of the bedside lamp Jeff had just turned on. You gave him a quick kiss and got out of bed, heading into the bathroom to get ready. You splashed cold water on your face to wake yourself up since you were never up this early, and the only reason you were was because Jeff had been begging you to come on an early morning hike to see the see the sunrise for a while now.

You brushed your teeth and changed into leggings and a sports bra before meeting Jeff in the kitchen. He was filling water bottles and gave you a small smile before tossing you a protein bar to eat before leaving. Jeff tossed the water bottles and a few other snacks into his backpack before glancing at the time on his phone and insisting that you had to leave in the next few minutes. You sat on the floor near the front door and tightly tied the laces of your sneakers, reaching your hand up for Jeff to help you up. He rolled his eyes at you, but took your hand in his and pulled you up.

You followed him downstairs and hopped into the passenger seat of his SUV. The roads were empty as darkness still covered the city. Jeff placed his hand on the gear shift and you rested yours on top of his. The stillness of the city was something you hardly ever saw, but it was comforting.

After a short drive, you pulled into the parking lot of the trail Jeff wanted to take you on. You got out of the car and followed Jeff's instructions of basic stretches to do to warm up before hiking.

Much to your dismay, the hike was a lot harder and steeper than Jeff had promised it would be. The path was windy and the plants were overgrown, leaving it narrow and difficult to navigate in the dim light.

Jeff was walking in front of you, and you carefully followed his steps. The steep dirt path had many large rocks that seemed to appear out of nowhere. You tried to focus on following Jeff's exact steps to avoid the rocks, but you lost your footing trying to avoid one. You stumbled backwards and fell over the large rock you had tried to avoid a few moments ago. Your left ankle got caught underneath you and you heard a loud snap as all of your body weight landed on your ankle. You yelped in agony as you tried to stand up before collapsing back on to the ground and grabbing your ankle in pain. Jeff was a few feet in front of you, but your screams gained his attention.

“Baby, are you alright?” Jeff asked, concerned as he sprinted over to you. His face went pale as he noticed the swelling around your foot. You clutched your ankle, sobbing from the immense pain.

“It hurts,” you whined, tears streaming down your face. "It really hurts."

“It’ll be okay,” Jeff promised, untying your sneaker and pulling it off. He pushed the hem of your leggings up to expose the ankle. You took in a sharp breath and felt nauseous looking at the bruising around your foot.

He searched through his backpack for an ice pack or an elastic bandage in his first aid kit, but had neither. He handed you a water bottle that had ice cubes in it and told you to take them out and wrap them in his t-shirt to hold against the swelling.

“Do you think you can walk?” he asked, even though he knew it was most likely broken. You shook your head, knowing you couldn’t, or shouldn't, put any weight on it.

Jeff paced back and forth, wondering what to do. You were nearly to the top of the hill, and the path was too steep for him to carry you down and too narrow for him to help hold you up as you hopped down.

It was still early so the trails weren't busy, meaning you probably wouldn't run into another hiker to help you out. Jeff picked you up and moved you off of the path, so you wouldn't be in the way if someone did happen to come up.

After half an hour and many failed calls from the lack of reception, Jeff decided he was going to have to carry you down. He had you put his backpack on and you managed to climb on to his back. You clung tightly to him, scared that he was going to drop you. When it got too steep, he had you stand on your good ankle and he would lift you from one clear spot to another.

You eventually made it back to the parking lot, and Jeff had you sit in the backseat to elevate your ankle. He drove you to the nearest hospital, stopping at a CVS to pick up some painkillers since you didn’t know how long you’d be waiting to see a doctor.

You draped your arm over his shoulder and hopped into the ER. Jeff helped you sit down before going to check in with the front desk. He returned with a clipboard of paperwork for you to fill out and a cup of coffee.

"You doing okay, baby?" Jeff asked, kissing your forehead. You nodded, even though the pain was insufferable.

After about an hour of waiting, you were brought over to an empty bed. The nurse checked all of your vitals and a little while later, the doctor came in.

"Well, it's definitely broken," the doctor said, pointing to the clean break in your bone on the scans. "You'll need surgery to realign the bone," he continued, and Jeff reached over to hold your hand as the surgery was explained to you.

Jeff promised he wouldn't go anywhere and kissed the top of your head before a team of nurses wheeled you off to prep you for surgery.

You woke up in a hospital bed a few hours later and Jeff was sitting by your side. Your leg was elevated and you had a cast around your ankle. A nurse came in to check on you a couple of times before the doctor came in to say they wanted to keep you overnight to monitor you post-op.

A few days after you were able to leave the hospital, you and Jeff were cuddling in his bed in his apartment. The contents of the suitcase you were now living out of were scattered across the floor of his bedroom. Jeff had insisted that you stayed with him, at least until you were confident using the stairs with crutches, since your apartment was on the fourth floor and your building didn't have an elevator.

“What are you doing?” you asked as Jeff pulled away from cuddling your to riffle through the drawer of his bedside table. A few moments later, Jeff revealed a thick black sharpie. He uncapped it and motioned for you to move the blanket so he could draw on your cast.

Your rolled your eyes at his childish behavior, but pulled the blanket off. You positioned yourself to be propped up against the headboard, placing a pillow under your cast. Jeff was on the other end of the bed, hoovering over your foot as he doodled mindlessly on the plaster.

You took your phone out to capture this moment, adding the picture to your Instagram story to let everyone know that you were in good hands with Jeff.

After a while, your cast was covered in small pictures and short notes. There was little room let for anyone else to write on it, but Jeff was pleased with his work.

You were restless all night, constantly tossing and turning, hardly able to get any sleep. Even though it was still early, you were wide awake and decided to try to make yourself breakfast. You swung your legs down, using the nightstand for support as you balanced on one foot. You reached for your crutches, determined to master using them today. You were tired of relying on Jeff for everything and wanted to be able to do things on your own. Your goal was to get from the bedroom to the kitchen without getting caught on anything or stumbling.

You let out a frustrated groan and threw one of your crutches on to the ground after the bottom of the crutch stuck to the wooden floor and you pushed yourself forward without having the support following you.

“What’s goin on, baby?” Jeff asked, stumbling out of the bedroom, still half asleep. He was holding a white t-shirt in his hands and was only wearing the pair of boxers he had slept in.

You were standing on one foot, the other kicked up behind you, holding on to the counter top for stability.

“Nothing,” you muttered, turning around and attempting to hop to the fridge so you wouldn't have to put any weight onto your ankle. Jeff sighed, knowing you were lying. He swung the fridge door open and took out the carton of eggs he knew you were reaching for. “I don’t need you to do everything for me,” you snapped, not realizing how aggressive or angry you sounded. Jeff’s eyes widening at your remarks.

“I’m just trying to help out,” Jeff said quietly. You really did appreciate his efforts, but he was driving you crazy. He was constantly around and practically refused to let you do anything by yourself.

"I know you are, but I don't need to be babied, Jeff," you insisted, and he nodded. He understood where you were coming from, but that didn't stop him from leaning down to pick up the crutch you had thrown on top the floor. You shot him a death glare since you easily could've picked it up yourself, but you still took it from him.

"I'm not babying you. I'm just taking care of you. You should be focused on physical therapy and walking with the crutches, you shouldn't have to worry about anything else."

"But how am I supposed to do that when you hardly ever let me get out of bed?" you argued, making a point. Jeff didn’t have a comeback, instead he just apologized for being overbearing and overprotective, promising to let you do more from now on. "It's okay, Jeff. I love you anyways," you smiled, watching Jeff's face beam at the words you had just said. It was the first time either of you had said them aloud, even though you had both been feeling it for a while.

"I love you, too," he grinned, wrapping his arms around your waist and giving you a soft kiss.

#jeff wittek #jeff wittek fanfic #jeff wittek fluff #jeff wittek blurb #vlog squad #vlog squad blurb #vlog squad fanfic #jeff wittek fanfiction #vlog squad one shot #jeff wittek one shot #boyfriend!jeff #jeff wittek x y/n #jeff wittek x you #jeff wittek x reader

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years ago

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Second Chances

MASTERLIST

This was an anon request based on the series finale. If you’ve yet to see it and don’t want any spoilers, feel free to bookmark this to read later. This isn’t really spoilery if you already know what happens, but I won’t take offense if you wait to read this after watching the episode. This is just my take on a different way it could’ve gone with the reader involved, also with a bit of inspiration from the Derek episode, a thing that happened to him and Savannah. Anyway, you’ll see. Prepare yourself for some Spencer angst and mystique. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (angst and fluff)

Word Count: 2,810

Chaos surrounded you.

You had the oddest sensation that everything around you wasn’t really happening even though it actually was. Everything and everyone seemed to be moving in slow motion.

You were standing in the middle of the hallway when the stretcher passed by you.

In reality, it probably whizzed by, the doctors and nurses running and darting around, energized by the adrenaline rush of helping an incoming patient. In your mind though, time slowed even further, your heart beating rapidly in your chest as you fought the dread in your stomach from seeing your boyfriend on said stretcher. He was unresponsive, pale and in bad condition.

He was being rushed into emergency surgery. The doctors suspected a possible cerebral hemorrhage or even an edema; bleeding in the brain or swelling of the brain in non-medical speak.

You were suspended in time, frozen in place. Your world was crumbling around you.

You felt hands on your arms as you were led to a chair in the waiting room. The person pushed you gently down to sit before sitting down next to you and taking your hands in theirs.

It was only then did you feel the ache in your head and behind your eyes, the side effect of your hysterical crying. You’d been crying this entire time and hadn’t even realized it.

Penelope Garcia squeezed your hands and you looked up at her, her face a little blurry from your tears.

“He is strong. He will get through this,” she said.

With that, she pulled you into her arms and hugged you tight.

•

Spencer was in a cemetery, on a bench. It was warm, with a slight breeze in the air to ruffle the loose curls that fell over his forehead.

He stood, walking to the nearest headstone to get a better look.

“Where am I?” he mumbled.

He stopped in front of the headstone and he gasped at the sight. It was his own. It read:

Spencer Reid

1981-2020

Beloved son and friend

Devoted agent of the FBI’s BAU

“What happened?” he wondered out loud, more confused than alarmed.

“You were injured, Spencer.”

The voice caught his attention. It sounded familiar, but it couldn’t be who he thought it was.

“You’re on a journey.”

He turned around, surprised to see the familiar brunette sitting on the bench he’d been sitting on just moments before.

“Maeve?” he whispered.

“Hi, Spencer,” she smiled.

He crossed to her quickly, falling on the bench at her side.

“Maeve, is it really you? But, how?” his hands reached to touch her face, “I’m so, so sorry.”

She smiled, putting a hand over one of his on her face and then pulled his hands into her lap, holding them both with hers.

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. It’s not your fault what happened. No matter what you think.”

“How are you here? What happened?”

“You remember Everett Lynch, don’t you?” she asked.

Spencer thought for a moment, the name sounded extremely familiar.

“Oh yeah. We’ve been hunting him for a year.”

“You thought you had him captured and were going to move in when he ignited a bomb. You were injured badly in the blast.”

“Am I- Am I dead?” he whispered.

“No,” she shook her head emphatically, “But I’m here to help you.”

“How?”

“Well first, I need to tell you something okay?”

He nodded, waiting.

“I know firsthand just how hard of a job you have, Spencer. But the world is such a better place with you in it.”

He smiled through the tears that had been forming in his eyes.

“Come on,” she stood, holding out her hand, “We don’t have much time.”

•

Spencer had been put in a medical coma after his surgery. It was good for his brain to slowly start healing the doctor had said.

You were sitting one one side of his bed, Penelope on the other. The rest of the team were out in the field busting their asses to find Lynch.

“At least he made it through surgery okay,” Garcia said, trying to be upbeat.

“Yeah, that’s true,” you nodded.

Your hand rested in his and you didn’t want to let go. It hurt so much seeing him lay in a hospital bed, his condition so up in the air.

The doctor still wasn’t sure just how much damage was done to his brain; that would be something that would be answered once he woke up.

“I’m scared,” you whispered to her.

You’d had plenty of scares with Spencer before due to his job, but never something this severe. This was horrifying, the thought that you could possibly lose him and everything you shared with him.

“I am too,” she answered honestly.

Your eyes watched his calm, sleeping face.

“I wonder where he is right now.”

•

“I’m still confused. You’re here to help me?”

Spencer was walking next to Maeve, her arm looped through his. For a cemetery, it was surprisingly beautiful. The grass was bright green, flowers covered every grave in a multitude of colors and the sky was a bright blue.

“In a way, yes,” she answered, “You’re at a crossroads aren’t you? Something has been weighing on you hasn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Spencer sighed, “Sometimes I’ve wondered if this job is worth it.”

“You’ve seen a lot of bad things. You’ve been through a lot of bad things. It can change you.”

“Yeah, it does.”

He looked out across the landscape, thinking. This was something that had been weighing on him for a long time.

“You also save lives. You stop monsters too. Isn’t that what you enjoy doing?”

“I thought I did.”

She held onto his arm more tightly, pulling him to a stop in front of her.

“No one deserves to go through everything you’ve been through in the years you’ve worked at the FBI. Being kidnapped, a drug addiction, multiple hostage situations, multiple gunshot wounds, losing people you love and you’re close to, prison-”

“Losing you,” he finished, quietly.

“Yes, that too,” she nodded at him somberly.

“It’s not always been the easiest job to have,” Spencer sighed.

“You, of all people Spencer, don’t deserve what happened to you. But it did and you’re strong. I know you aren’t going to let your trauma win,” Maeve said.

She started walking again, Spencer matching her pace.

“I’ve missed so much too.”

“How do you mean?” she questioned, looking up at him.

The sun was shining bright on her face, casting a soft glow on her skin. She looked like an angel. Maybe in a way, she was his angel.

“I’m almost 40 and I don’t have kids. I barely have a serious relationship. My life has revolved around the FBI for 15 years. I’ve lost so much because of it.”

“You’ve gained a lot as well though. Close friends that are just like family, the knowledge that you’re making the world a better place even in the smallest way and of course, Y/N.”

He was surprised.

“You know about Y/N?”

“You would be surprised at the amount of gossip on this side,” she chuckled.

“Come on, I want to show you something.”

•

Monitors beeping was the only sound to cut through the quiet of Spencer’s hospital room.

You had hardly left his side since he came out of surgery. Garcia almost had to physically pull you out of the chair just to get you to take a breather and use the bathroom.

She had been floating in and out of the room as she took calls and kept working, simultaneously researching for the case and keeping the team up to date on Spencer’s condition.

She’d stepped out earlier, leaving you alone with Spencer.

The doctor had told you earlier than talking to Spencer might be beneficial, that he could possibly hear you. You felt a bit silly attempting to, especially in front of Penelope, but you decided to give it another shot.

“Hi baby,” you whispered, squeezing his hand, “It’s me, Y/N. I haven’t left your side. I would’ve probably sat by your side in surgery if they would’ve let me.”

You chuckled brokenly, holding back tears. Your hand touched his cheek. It still felt warm and soft like it always did. The only difference was he wasn’t awake to react to your gesture.

Your fingers pushed back a stray strand of hair that was curling against his forehead and falling in his eyes. You pressed your lips to his forehead.

“Everyone is so worried. Especially me. I know they put you in a coma for your brain to heal, but I’m still worried about you. I just want to know that you’re okay, that that big, amazing brain of yours is okay.”

The steady beeping of his heart monitor was the only answer to your emotional outpouring.

“I don’t think I could be the same without you Spencer,” you whispered, “You’ve changed my life so much, for the better. I don’t think- no I know I can’t live without you.”

Your hand, still resting on his cheek, stroked it softly.

“Please come back to us. Come back to us with all your knowledge and statistics. I miss hearing you talk like a genius already,” you smiled, wiping your tears with your other hand.

“I miss your beautiful hazel eyes, that beautiful smile, your beautiful soul. They make my day better, you make me better.”

You’re silent a little while, trying to control the overflowing feeling of emotions whirling inside you like a tornado.

“I think I can speak for all of us that we’re ready for you to open those hazel eyes already. We believe in you Spence. You can get through this.”

Your hand returned to his and you thought you felt a slight squeeze in return but you couldn’t be sure.

You squeezed his hand gently in return, regardless if it had been just a reflex or not.

“I love you, Spencer.”

•

“What is this? My grave?”

Spencer was once again worried and confused.

“Am I dying?” he asked, turning to look at Maeve.

“Technically, no. But this is where you have to make your decision on what you’re going to do Spencer.”

“I don’t know, Maeve. I can’t think clearly. I just feel...lost.”

“I know,” she smiled kindly, “That’s why I’m here to help you.”

She paused, studying him.

“You’re scared.”

“I am,” he admitted, “Can’t I just stay here with you? Where everything is so peaceful and easy.”

She laughed gently.

“I’m afraid you can’t. The world needs you to do what you love. Have you done that?”

“I don’t know,” he answered hesitantly.

“Sure you do. What do you love?”

He looked at her, watching her as she waited for him to respond.

“Well, I love magic. And ghost stories.”

“What else?”

“Jell-O,” he paused, thinking, “Kumquats. Uh...teaching, learning. Books. Hope. Making connections.”

She nodded encouragingly.

“Making- Making a difference. And...Y/N.”

A part of him felt guilty admitting it to Maeve though, like somehow he was letting her down.

“I would expect so,” she grinned, touching his arm, “What do you love about her?”

He bit his lip, feeling conflicted. He did love his girlfriend very much, but he had loved Maeve too.

“Don’t feel bad,” she urged, as if she could read his thoughts, “I know you loved me and I’m more than grateful to have been a part of your life, but Y/N is your future. You have every right to be happy and to love her. Now, tell me.”

“Well, for one she’s amazing when it comes to my job. It’s hard to find someone when you have this job, that you can trust, someone that understands.”

“I imagine so.”

“She’s...she’s beautiful. I didn’t expect to meet her when I did,” he chuckled, “I didn’t really expect to have the ability to love anyone after what happened to you.”

“But you did.”

Maeve looked at him like a proud mother. She looked at him with ease and pure happiness. It helped lessen the guilt he felt earlier.

“I did,” he smiled.

“How did you meet her?”

“Well I met her at a bookstore for starters,” he laughed and Maeve chuckled as well.

“That’s definitely on brand for Spencer Reid.”

“She was having trouble reaching a book, so I got it for her. It turned out she was just exploring classics and was having trouble figuring where to start and I suggested a few that might be easy on her.”

“What did you suggest?”

“Great Expectations, some Mark Twain. You know, typical reading for me.”

“And that was the beginning of the blossoming romance huh?”

“You sound like a cheesy romance movie,” he grinned, “But yes, it was.”

“Tell me more.”

“She’s smart, maybe not at a genius level, but that’s not a bad thing at all. I like it. It’s refreshing,” he smiled a bit.

“I may not be able to talk to her about things like I did with you, but I’m also able to tell her and teach her things that she never knew. It makes me feel good to be able to do that.”

“Anything else?”

“She has a big heart. She’s always there for me. She’d give up anything to help me or the ones she loves. She has a great laugh. I love when she laughs so hard she’s practically laughing without sound coming out. It especially makes me happy when I’m the one to make her laugh that hard. I love that she loves books like I do. We may not have the same tastes, but it’s always so nice to spend time in each other’s presence just reading. Those are some of my favorite moments with her.”

Maeve was smiling at him, watching him intently. He could tell she was happy hearing him talk about Y/N.

“I’m afraid of hurting her though. I’m afraid my job will somehow hurt her. I’m afraid of dying, that I am dying and leaving her.”

“That’s why you can’t stay Spencer.”

Maeve took his hand, one last time, giving it a squeeze.

“The team needs you, your friends need you, Y/N needs you. Your girls will need you too.”

“My girls?”

His brow furrowed in confusion, not understanding what she meant.

“I don’t understand.”

“You will.”

She wrapped her arms around him, her hands on his back as she hugged him. He held on to her tightly, a small part of him afraid to let go.

“Spencer.”

The voice came like a whisper in the wind. It sounded like someone was calling him from the other side of the cemetery.

He pulled away from Maeve, looking behind him, as if he expected someone else to show up. No one was there. When he turned back to face Maeve, he realized she was gone.

His heart ached. He knew she wanted him to let her go. In a way, she was right, in so many ways.

It was time to go.

He looked at the gaping hole that had suddenly appeared in the ground next to his headstone.

Sometimes, all it took was just one step forward.

With a deep breath, he put one foot forward and fell deep into the darkness.

•

You had fallen asleep next to Spencer’s bed, your hand still in his.

“Y/N?”

You stirred, thinking you’d heard your name. You sat up in the chair and saw Spencer looking at you groggily. He must have just woken a few moments earlier.

“Spence!”

You threw your arms around him as carefully as you could, tears of happiness blurring your vision.

You pulled back, your hands resting on either side of his face.

“We were so worried. I was so worried,” you half laughed, pulling away to brush your tears away.

“Don’t cry. I’m okay.”

He smiled, kissing your hand, holding on to it tightly.

“I have to be here for the team, for you and for my girls.”

“Your gir-“

Your question was cut short by the nurse coming in. A flurry of activity had followed as they checked his vitals, his doctors checking on him and the team immediately coming to see him. You didn’t have time to question further what he meant and soon forgot it.

A month and a half later, Spencer was fully recovered and back on his feet. You were so happy that he’d been given a second chance at living.

It came as a surprise when you discovered you were pregnant. Both you and Spencer were floored and overjoyed at the same time.

It was an even bigger surprise when you found out you were having twins. Somehow, it surprised Spencer the most when you found out.

You and Spencer were expecting twins, yet the surprises didn’t stop there.

They were twin girls.

Tag List: @dreatine @reid-187 @groovyreid @reidslibra @suvikamahes98blr @fuckthealarm @whatspunispun @iamburdened @cindywayne @thomasfoockinshelby @tinyminy88 @theitcaramelchick @missprettyboy @hushlilbabydoll @sammy-jo1977 @theonlyone-meeeee @haileymorelikestupid @lemonypink @multifandommandy @teamkiall @redbullchick @ifeelloved @one-sweet-gubler @nanocoool @delightfullyspeedyearthquake @unsteadyimagines @ughitsbaby @inkwiet @pennythetechgoddess @capt-engr-ssa @sixx-sic-sixx @mipetronella (sorry for some reason it won’t let me tag your spencer account?) @reidsstudies @disney-dreams-world @chocolatecalzoneherringbonk @mggwhore @andiebeaword @cupcake525 @be-the-bravest @gretaamyk

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the-fiction-witch · 4 years ago

Text

Story P2

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SWEET AF

"It actually is kinda interesting because when we met, both y/n and I where in relationships." I answered

"Were you? So how did you meet?"

"I remember, it was a party for a friend of mine it was there uhhh engagement party, he had this big party rented out the whole of this pub in London for his party. So I went with my then girlfriend and she knew some people, I knew some people so we where just sort of hung out either side of the room from each other as we did tend to do we didn't share a lot of friends, And then a Friend of mine Jack came over brought me a beer and asked if I had met Alex's girlfriend. Now Alex was sort of... I guess a friend he was jack's friend and jack is my friend so we sort of knew of each other in parties and such never hung out for of one on one i don't think we were that friendly, and I just shrugged and said well no I hadn't yet but you know always open to meeting new people, and he said off you have to meet her you're gonna love her." I explained "So I followed him though this pub and I saw sat at this little booth table was this girl" "And that was y/n?"

"That was y/n" I nodded "I remember everything as well she had a pair of black ankle boots, these black tights, this huge red petticoat, this little black like uhh very retro sort of 50's 60's style dress, red lipstick that matched the petticoats, and hair done in this tight up do very uuhh very Audrey Hepburn like everything tied up and away from her face and as we went over I heard her say 'Harleys are for posers, they are not worth it with the price and upkeep you pay for the name not a good motorbike'"

"what did you think when you first saw her and heard her say that?"

"I literally just thought. Fuck. this is... quite possibly going to be my new best friend. It was that immediate when you don't even have to talk to someone you just understand your going to like them that was very much my reaction to her, and we met jack introduced us and I think we stood there talking about motorbikes for about two hours

"Did you know you liked her?"

"I don't think I liked her. I don't think it was love at first sight or anything like that I just really wanted to be around her but in a friend sort of way I don't think either of us felt any sort of romantic feelings at that point or if we did, we didn't notice, it was very much a sort of... I wanna be friends with you I wanna hang out with you, we traded numbers and chatted on and off for a while met up for drinks a few times, even double dated with her and Alex me and my girlfriend, we had been on trips as well all four of us we went to the lake district camping all four of us, that didn't go well." I laughed "But we had met maybe... two years ago at that point and my relationship ended, It was a mutual thing I think we both kinda said look this isn't really working, some of it was we had an age gap and there were times you could feel it, we had drifted apart, know ones fault, one of those things." I shrug "and Jack was away at the time, so I went to y/n's and just had a beer or two, watched some old top gear, just generally shot the shit hanging out it was at this point when my relationship was wrapping up we where splitting off from each other that I did sort of start to see y/n a little bit more, Of course I had seen her but I saw her a bit differently and it was one day, me, Alex, y/n, jack and his girlfriend had gone down to south end for the day and I don't know exactly when but at some point in that day I kinda just glanced over at y/n and sort of said to myself... I think I have a crush on y/n."

"It took you that long? I've just been listening to this story and I'm telling you you've had a crush on her longer then that"

"I am not good at noticing these things. I am bad for it I never pick up on it even when it's me I can't tell" I laughed "But she was still with Alex so I kinda went yeah I have a crush, leave it alone it'll go away" "Did it?"

"No"

"shocker"

"It got progressively worse, but I started to kinda distance myself from her because I didn't want to seem weird or to piss Alex off or anything else which she instantly picked up on, the moment I said I didn't want to go over to her's for pizza and star wars she knew something was kinda up. I lied and said I was getting back on the dating scene which I don't think she believed but it worked. and then this was maybe a few months down the line, she was away she was up visiting her family and she had a motorbike crash ended up basically fucking her leg up and she had only taken her motorbike up to visit her family so she was kinda stuck she didn't want to leave her bike there, she couldn't ride home, she couldn't do much of anything and as it happened her sister was just about to go off on a cruise one of those massive cruises she was going to be gone over a month, and her pets where meant to go to her parents house till she got home but y/n said look I'm stuck up here, lets keep them in there own home she'll go and take care of them she'd house sit and cat sit for her sister, and she'd sleep in the spare room until they got back by then her leg should be better" I explained "Now I.... Was not thrilled about this I wanted her to be back in London mostly so I could go see her because at this point the crush was, more Yeah I really really like you sort of level and more then anything I just wanted to look after her since she was hurt and it took maybe two days of her being there that I called her up and said look you can barely walk I do not like you being in this little bungalow all by yourself if you have a fall or the cat's knocks you over or you slip in the supermarket or something bad happens you're miles from anyone who can help the nearest hospital was an hour away, so I said to her, I will come up there I will sleep on the sofa so long as its fine with your sister, and I will do your shopping, clean up, do the stuff that you can't really do because you can't walk" I explained "and she agreed her sister said it was fine so... I went up there."

"You took care of her?"

"I did, I did all her shopping I did her food, we sat around a lot on the sofa just chilling with her sisters cats, It was great and I remember sitting there one day, cat on my lap, beer in my hand watching her as she watched lord of the rings and I remember thinking. Fuck. I don't have a crush on y/n. I don't like y/n. I think... I think I love her. and I don't have an excuse for what I then did because I just kinda reached over and I... Held her hand. and I could feel her heart was a fast as mine was. and she broke this very odd quiet even with the battle of helms deep going on, on the tv. and she said Alex had broken up with her the night before she came up to visit her family, which was part of why she got in the accident because she was driving recklessly because she was still so upset,"

"Alex didn't tell you?"

"No. we still didn't really talk much one on one and even when we did he very rarely spoke about him and y/n or even y/n in general I think he knew, by then I did have a crush on her I don't think he was jealous or anything but I think he knew" I said "And I did the usual Ohh I'm so sorry y/n, we had some ice cream, some wine, ordered KFC five minuets before they closed and just kinda got her though it, she took it a lot harder then when me and my girlfriend split because it wasn't mutual for her and Alex, Alex left her for another woman, and she was as you can imagine quiet broken up about it, they had been together a good four five years by that point and... I think what hurt her even more was that who he then got together with was someone she knew"

"Who was it?"

".... Her best friend. that really broke her because not only has she lost a boyfriend someone she's been with a long long time, but now she can't trust her best friend and really has lost her too because they had been seeing each other while her and Alex were together"

"was she okay?"

"she was after a while, I think me being there helped because she didn't feel quiet so abandoned and alone, but we had a good time anyway. and then once we got back to London, she came over to check out my new house that had just finished being done and she stayed over, and I told her, Look this is really rash, this is probably nuts but I really like you, and as luck would have it she told me that she really liked me to. and we ended up having our first date, we went shopping together we made home made pizza and home made fried chicken together and then sat down and had a cuddle and watched an old doctor who episode."

"what was your sort of mind set on that date?"

"I didn't really think about much it was just really fun it was like having a best friend but you hold hands and maybe you get a little kiss every now and again But I remember looking at her on the sofa as we cuddled under the blanket and I just said to myself. I really fucking love you. But I can't tell you that because I don't want to scare you" I laughed "And from then on we just went on dates whenever we could and about four maybe five months into us dating I said to jack look I don't want to wait anymore, Never in my life had a felt an urgency or anything like that to get married have kids and such but I said to him I feel like when I'm with her, if I don't ask her, I'll lose her forever, and if I do I'll never ever feel this way with someone else again, he said I was nuts. he said slow down. he said you guys don't even live together you haven't even been dating a year it's puppy love, it's the honeymoon phase it's literally just your in a new relationship with someone you really like it's just your getting overwhelmed."

"what did you do?"

"I went home and I had a date with y/n that night and I said to her as we where cooking, what would you say If I told you that I loved you. and she had heard this from me before this wasn't news to her, and she said ohh well I'd say I love you back of course, and I then asked her, What would you say if I told you I wanted to have a baby... With you?"

"Ohhhhhhh"

"and she said, I don't know. But it's something to talk about" I laughed and I left it a while a little worried like that Ohh shit why did I say that I've just freaked her out and then she turned to me and said well if so then I want two girls and a boy, which made me laugh a little and I said yeah I'm okay wit that, and I just literally stood over the sink at her flat washing potatoes, I asked her What if I asked you to marry me?"

"and what did she say?"

"And she stopped a moment and she just smiled and said, I'd say yes. and I kinda freaked out and asked her if she meant it and she asked if I was actually asking and I just went fuck it I didn't plan this out this way but fuck it yes I'm asking you, for real actual will you marry me. and she said yes."

"what did jack have to say?"

"He wasn't happy. He called me a few very unsavoury names but, were happily married now and I do not ever see that changing. and she is now... Pregnant, she's never happy we just found out last week it's twins, twin girls, very happy, very health"

"did you cry?"

"I wasn't actually able to go. Yeah I had a work thing. But she came back and showed me the picture and yes I cried, Like a baby. I didn't even know it was twins, I had a theory just because the bump was so big, and she already knew from earlier scans and she had... dropped a hint a couple of times that it might have been twins but only when the ultrasound came though I got to see my little girls and that was amazing, it is also now up on the wall of our house the nursery is... almost done I uhhh I need to build some stuff. and I'm scared too because it's come from Ikea. but its the cribs so, it has to be done, it's not like the high chair which I can leave for another two months, Odly enough I built that first becuase... it came first and I was just in a baby mood."

"A Baby mood?"

"Yeah when you get really excited and stuff so you do stuff like the nursey and filming the stomach kick and all this sort of stuff. Y/n has not been up to much though, she's mad at me at the moment though"

"Ohh no why?"

"Because I won't let her eat stuff she's not suppose to on her pregnant diet. and she is... lets go with not happy with me" I laugh "Before I came in today I had to put all the stuff she can't have in one cupboard in our kitchen, and..." I laughed showing the key from my pocket "If I don't she'll eat twinkies, chocolate, fridge raiders, uhh there's jaffa cake rolls in there, basically anything you think I don't think a pregnant woman shouldn't be eating that. it's in there"

"My last question Thomas? are you happy?

"Yes. I am happier now I think then I have been.... for a very long time."

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dalamjisung · 5 years ago

Text

it’s an emergency! ❊ mark tuan

word count: 5147

genre: hospital!au, fluff

member: ER doctor!mark x clumsy!reader

description: what happens when a clumsy artist (literally) falls for the handsome ER doctor?

“We have three from a car crash coming in!”

“Help! Someone help my husband please!”

“He’s crashing!”

The voices screaming around you mashed into one loud noise and you can’t help but flinch, holding your friend’s hand as tight as possible. You didn’t quite understand why you were at the Emergency Care Unit, but your friend insisted– you had taken quite a fall at your building’s stairs and although your felt fine, you hit your head hard enough to worry her. You also think this is her using you as an excuse to meet the people she refers to as her “future bosses.” As a med student, her dream was to work with the Emergency Surgical Team, and this might just be her chance to put her name out there.

“I don’t need to be here,” You whisper, flinching when someone else shouts. “Look at these people, Sora, they really need help! I’m fine! I can just sleep it off–”

“You’re not fine,” She says calmly, looking straight into your eyes, and you know she’s examining you. “You are dizzy and you vomited on your way over here. Chances are you have a concussion; and if I’m correct, which I always am, the last thing you can do is sleep.”

“Excuse me, ma’am,” Someone calls from behind you and you try to move fast enough to the nearest wall, but your body feels heavy and you are pretty sure you are sweating. You kind of walk, kind of fall on the wall and smile to the doctor that rushes past you, offering you a nod and nothing else.

“This is ridiculous,” Sora mutters. “We’ve been here for hours! Excuse me, my friend needs medical attention!”

“Everyone here needs medical attention, babes,” You chuckle and you start feeling sick with the atmosphere. The noise, the lights, the people; you just wanted to leave. You look at the old lady behind you, and she is oddly quiet for someone who looks like they’ve been crying. “Are you alright, ma’am?”

She shakes her head and points to her shoulder. “I fell.”

You nod, and you wait. It takes another thirty minutes until someone finally walks to you, clipboard and gauze in their arms.

“Hi, how can I help you?” The nurse asks, already pulling out her pen to start taking notes.

“Can I you check on that woman first?” You choke out. “I just heave a headache, but I think she’s in a lot of pain. I can wait.”

“Ma’am,” The nurse looks at you surprised. “I don’t–"

“I’m fine, really,” You mutter. “I can wait ten more minutes, it’s not a pro–“

Just as you are about to finish your sentence, a wave of nausea hits you and you have just enough time to lean over to the trash can, emptying anything you had left on you.

“She hit her head,” You friend states firmly. “She needs help.”

“Nurse, go check on the other patient– I’ll take care of this one.”

You look up to see the same doctor as before. Blue scrubs, white coat, dark hair. He nods at you again, and proceeds to shine a light on your eyes.

“What happened?” He asks, and as your vision returns to normal you look at the embroidery on his coat pocket. Mark Tuan.

“She fell down the stairs,” Your friend says. “She seems to be okay besides the hit she took to the head.”

“How hard?”

“Hard enough that I could hear it.”

Dr. Tuan nods once again and you feel yourself getting anxious. Your breathing picks up and he notices it, but still no smile. No reassuring words. No nothing.

“We’ll have to get a CT scan,” He says to a nurse passing by. “Prep her and send her to me after you’re done.”

It all happens a little too fast for you and the cold and dark imaging room freaks you out enough that you have a mild panic attack. You don’t know what is happening and no explained it to you, simply throwing you around as if you were nothing much, an object. The nurse can’t calm you down and when she offers you a sedative, you hold it in– the panic, the helplessness, the fear, everything. Scared that she’d refer you to the Psychiatric department, you comply silently to everything she says. You know you are not being rational; you know she’d never forcibly drug you unless you are a danger to yourself or others, but they have things to do and you feel incredibly intimidated and alone and you think that cooperating will make everything go faster.

“It’s only a concussion, Y/N,” You whisper to yourself as you wait in another cold and dark room, your friend somewhere around the hospital looking for some food. “Stop being a goddamned coward.”

“Miss Y/L/N?”

Your turn your head too fast and it hurts, but you push it down too. “Yes?”

“Follow me,” Dr. Tuan squints at you and, as he notices your struggle to get yourself moving, offers your his arm as support. You walk to a nearby office, where a nurse and another doctor wait inside. “This is Nurse Han and Dr. Park. He is from the Psychiatric department, and I called him here because there are some things I needed to clarify before proceeding with the diagnosis.”

“S-Sure,” You gulp. “What’s up?”

“It shows here,” Dr. Tuan says pointing to your file. “That this is the fourth time you’ve been here. This month.”

“That is correct,” You offer him a small smile. “Sorry about that– I know they are all minor injuries but–“

“No need to apologize,” And for the first time, you feel at ease, mainly because Dr. Tuan widens his eyes and something about it just makes him look soft. “No need to apologize at all. We just wanted to make sure that these injuries happened... naturally.”

“Uh, what do you mean?” You frown, confused.

“What Dr. Tuan is trying to ask,” Dr. Park steps in, eyes piercing into your soul, looking for the slightest falter in your body language. “Is if you are having some trouble at home– with whomever you live with. We have resources at the hospital to help in cases of abuse and–“

“Abuse?!” You shriek. “No, no no no, not at all! I live by myself, I don’t even have a boyfriend! I’m just really clumsy.”

They all just stare at you, surprised with your outburst.

“I swear I’m okay,” You smile. “I promise. It makes me really happy that the hospital cares for its patients like this, but I’m not suffering from any kind of abuse. I just can’t seem to be able to get the hang of basic human functions like walking down the stairs.”

“Well, in that case,” Dr. Park smiles and he looks relieved. “I’ll get back to my patients. See you later Mark. Miss.”

“Now that we got that cleared out,” Dr. Tuan coughs uncomfortably, his cheeks slightly blushed and you giggle a bit. “You’ll have to stay here for a few hours, Miss Y/L/N. We need to check on you from time to time just to be sure that your condition is stable. During that period, we’ll just ask that you stay awake and in case of pain we’ll give you some Ibuprofen. Thankfully, this is your first concussion and it was a mild hit, so you should be fine in a couple of hours. Nurse Han will take you to a a resting room, and we’ll let your friend know where you are. Any questions?”

“No, thank you,” You sound calmer and more relaxed now that you understand your situation. “Thank you Dr. Tuan.”

“Just doing my job,” He nods, and you nod too, understanding that you won’t get anything other than this. “I’ll check on you soon.”

—————————

The resting room has many beds and you feel slightly uncomfortable in there, trying your best to not make any noise so that you wouldn’t disturb other people. Your friend, on the other hand, chats the time away with some of the other patients, making them laugh their worries away.

“You’ll be a great doctor one day,” You tell her once she’s done her round of jokes and is back by your side. “I am sure of it.”

“I hope so,” She smiles.

“You calm people down,” You tell her. “I really wish someone would’ve calmed me down earlier.”

“I still can’t believe that nurse didn’t help you,” She grumbles. “She’d bad at her job.”

“Don’t say that,” You chastise. “She’s probably tired and overwhelmed with patients.”

“Everyone is, but that doesn’t mean you can slack on the job,” You find gives you a pointed look. “Dr. Tuan seems great though, even if he’s a bit too serious for my liking.”

“He is, isn’t her?” You giggle. “But that’s okay, he’s been really good to me.”

“Oh, I’m sure he has,” Sora wiggles her brows and you slap her shoulder playfully. “What? You can’t deny he’s handsome.”

“Never said he wasn’t,” Now you’re the one wiggling your brows. “But let’s all be professionals here. He is your future boss, after all.”

This leads Sora to talk about medial school and the hospital for a couple of hours, and she barely notices Dr. Tuan coming to check on you a few times. As time passed, you found yourself drawing on the back paper your found next to your bed. As an artist, this is a habit you developed during your college days, when you had to practice still life and movement for drawing class. Doodling makes the time pass faster and before you know it, you are being released. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t dying to get some sleep, but you were glad that you had proper medical attention, or else you’re not sure what would’ve happened.

“Miss Y/L/N,” Dr. Tuan calls as you as putting your shoes. “Here; these for your headaches. You can’t take anything that contains Aspirin, but you should be good with just Ibuprofen. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to contact the hospital.”

“Thank you so much, Doctor,” You smile at him as your friend made sure to listen to every word carefully.

“No problem,” He nods and looks at the bed you just got up from. “Wait, is that your chart?”

“My chart?!” You look back at the paper sheet you left on the bed, completely unaware of the similarities in between the man and the drawing. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I didn’t even realize it was something important!”

And you finally hear it– a laugh. Dr. Tuan’s eyes shine as he looks at the drawing, laughing in the process.

“This is certainly something I want on file,” He smiles and you finally understand why he didn’t do it before.

Mark Tuan just has one of those smiles that when it’s directed towards you, it makes you feel special. One smile from him and you already felt invincible.

“Can I keep this?” He asks, giggling and oh my god you giggling too. You nod, smiling wide. “Can you sign it?”

You laugh at this and you feel as if the room stops, everyone looking at you guys’ interaction. Nurse Han has surprise written all over her face, and so does your friend. You give him the paper back and thank him once again.

“Well, goodbye then,” You mumble. “I’ll make sure to contact the hospital in case I feel sick.”

“Please do,” He breathes out and is that a blush? “Goodbye.”

The drive home is ridiculously silent and it’s only after you enter your apartment, with your friend in tow, that she starts.

“What the fuck was that?!” She laughs out loud. “There was so much tension in that room, what the actual fuck?”

“You think so?” You ask nervously.

“I know so!” Sora smiles, pointing at you. “You like that, huh? You have a crush on the doctor!”

“I mean…” You try to come up with an excuse but you know that there is no lying to her. “I mean, who doesn’t?! Have you seen him? He is so beautiful– and his smile! Oh my god, his smile, Sora–“

“Ha!” She exclaims. “I knew it! He is totally your type…”

“But am I his type?” You bite your lip, frowning over your childlike behavior. You just met him and you already have a crush on the cute doctor.

“Why don’t you call him and ask?” Sora winks and runs away before you can hit her with a pillow.

Laughing, you go to your room to rest and finish some work.

That wouldn’t be such a bad idea, though…

—————————

You call him three days later but not for the reason he thinks you are calling. Nurse Han runs around the Emergency Unit after him but what she doesn’t know is that Mark is running late because his alarm broke. So you sit in the waiting room, your friend panicking and it all feels weirdly familiar.

“I am so sorry, but I think he’s not here yet,” She says looking around the empty room. Today is a very mellow day at the ER and it feels much better than the last time. “Ah, what should I do?”

“Uh, I am sure any doctor could help us,” You smile tightly, feeling your hands being crushed by your friend. “She’s in a lot of pain.”

“Where is the pain?” Nurse Han asks already testing for head injuries and finding none. “What happened?”

“Goddamned biker,” Sora says through gritted teeth. “Hit me.”

“She was crossing the road and a person riding a bicycle wasn’t paying attention and hit her,” You explain better. “I think she messed up her shoulder when she fell, so I brought her here.”

“Oh my,” Nurse Han inspects the bruises forming on Sora’s skin already and frowns. “Yeah, I think I can call our Physician if you’d like…”

“Nurse Han, what’s going on?”

You turn around in time to see Doctor Tuan walking in the room and there is something about seeing him in casual clothing that made you want him even more. His blue sweater made his hair even darker and you don’t think you’ve ever been this attracted to someone before.

“Y/N?” His shock is visible– and audible, since he doesn’t call you by your first name out of politeness. “Is everything okay? Are you experiencing any side effects? Headache? Dizziness? Let me take a look at you–“

“Wrong patient,” You smile, chuckling. “This time I’m here with my friend, she’s the one hurt.”

“Oh, thank god,” You hear him muttering before he’s composed again. He nods at her and you hold in your laughter. “I mean, not thank god, but I’m glad you’re not hurt... you get me. What’s wrong?”

“She had a collision with a biker and her shoulder seems to have been dislocated,” Nurse Han says and it takes him only some prodding and poking to nod in that familiar way. “Should I call Dr. Wang?”

“Please do,” Dr. Tuan says and then looks back at Sora. “I’ll pop your shoulder back, but you will need physical therapy after. Our attending physician is really good, so I’ll redirect you to him.”

“Oh my god this will hurt so fucki-“ Before she can finish her sentence, the shoulder is back in its place and you think she might have broken your hand. “Shit!”

“I’ll take you to Dr. Wang,” Nurse Han says and looks at you. “Would you like to accompany her?”

“Yes, please,” You smile and get up. Before leaving, you turn back to Dr. Tuan. “Excuse me, doctor?”

“Yes?” He asks eagerly.

“Technically speaking,” You mutter, too embarrassed to look him in the face. “I’m not your patient anymore, right?”

“Uh, n-no,” He says, eyes wide. “Technically speaking, you’re not.”

“Oh, good,” You feel your palms starting to get sweaty and you rub them on your jeans. “Then–“

“GODDAMN IT!” You hear your friend screaming in pain and you jump from the scare, sighing in defeat.

“Then I’ll see you later,” You smile tightly, knowing that you missed your chance.

“Wait, Y/N,” He extends his hand, stopping you before you can turn around. “My lunch time is in a couple of hours, and I know that Jackson– I mean, Dr. Wang– takes his time examining his patients, so would you like to grab something to eat? I know the food here isn’t the best, but it’s better than not eating at all, y-you know? And as a recovering past patient, nutrition is very important so that you can maintain a healthy condition and have a smooth rest… and I could also check for any remaining side effects! I think–“

“I’ll see you then,” You laugh, winking at him as you leave to find your friend. “Dr. Tuan.”

Turns out Dr. Wang not only is best friends with Dr. Tuan, but he is also extremely attractive, and you wonder is it’s something about this hospital specifically– if you remember correctly, Dr. Park was also someone you’d call “attractive.”

“Okay, so this is not as good as it could be,” He smiles widely and you think you are blinded by his light. The contrasting personalities are crazy, considering how shy Mark’s smile is. Mark, you think, getting all giddy inside. I like calling him Mark. “But it’s also not as bad as it could be. We’ll have to work on it for about a month, twice a week, but you’ll be good as new once you’re done.”

“Sounds good, Doctor,” Sora smiles.

“Just to be sure, I’d like to get an X-Ray,” You nod, listening carefully. “It’s already lunch time, so I’m sure it’ll be quick. Nurse Kim can help you and bring you back.”

Then he looks at you.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” Dr. Wang asks in a teasing tone, and smiles. “Dr. Tuan asked me take you to his office first, he wants to make sure you are well recovered.”

“Oh, you don’t have to, I’m sure I can find my way,” He nods and you wave goodbye. “I’ll be back to pick her up after.”

“I promise that I’ll take good care of your friend,” He laughs. “Now go.”

Finding Mark’s office was a little too easy and you blush a little as you enter, seeing him behind his desk, immersed on something on his computer.

“Ah, Y/N,” He smiles that shy smile and you are so happy that he’s now comfortable enough to do that. “Come in, I’m just finishing some work.”

“I can come back if you want?” You hope you didn’t sound as disappointed as you feel.

“Not at all, just give me a minute,” He motions to the chair and you sit in comfortable silence. “Okay, let’s take a look at that head.”

You recognize the procedures from before and he nods approvingly, tongue peeking out from his lips and you almost coo at how adorable he looked.

“Everything looks great!” His eyes smile with him, this time, and you smile back. “You are officially recovered.”

You chatter animatedly in his office and lunch hour flies by. You feel a little guilty once you realize that you’ve taken all of his time to eat, knowing that hospital shifts are usually hectic and they don’t have much personal time, if any, so you insist you two walk to the vending machine where he can at least grab a snack.

“I’m really sorry, Mark,” You say for what feels like the millionth time. “I really don’t know what happened and–“

“Time flies by when you’re having a good time,” He says. “I’d say we were having a good time, Y/N.”

You are shocked with his boldness, but you nod, nonetheless. Just as you reach the machine, you see Sora and Dr. Wang talking and you wave them over.

“Y/N,” Dr. Wang says excitedly. “Sora just told me about Saturday! You must be excited!”

“Uh,” You are taken aback with how friendly this man already was with you, but you smile anyways, enjoying the casualty of it all. “Yeah, I’m really excited…”

“What’s happening this Saturday?” Mark asks confused.

“You guys talked all this time and you didn’t mention?” At that, you look at Sora with eyes that promised a lecture after. “It’s her art expo, dude. Sora invited us.”

“Did she, now, Dr. Wang?” You smile dangerously.

“Oh, please, call me Jackson,” He laughs. “You’re not my patient.”

“You’re an artist?” Mark asks and you see the wheels turning in his head. “Actually, that makes a lot of sense… that drawing you made is really good.”

“The one on your desk?” Jackson asks with innocent eyes and mischievous smile.

“That one,” Mark deadpans.

“I’m glad you like it,” You chuckle. “And yeah, I’m an artist. I hope you guys can make it to the exhibition, if you are not too busy with medical things…”

“We’ll be there!” Jackson promises and Mark nods. “Even if we’re late.”

“Promise?” You joke.

“Promise,” Mark says, and you know there and then, that he has no intention in breaking that promise.

—————————

The week passes without you seeing or even hearing from the handsome doctor. Sora, on the other hand, would see him every week, whenever he walked by to say hi during her therapy sessions or when Dr. Wang– Jackson– would talk about him. How those two think they are smooth goes beyond you, but with the exhibit coming up you couldn’t really accompany Sora to the hospital like she wanted you to, and you had to focus on the upcoming event.

“Are you nervous?” Sora asks as you two arrive at the gallery. This isn’t your first exhibit and she knows, having been there for all of them– you know what she’s talking about.

“Yes,” You laugh, looking at around to see your work in every wall. It filled you with pride, to this day, every time you successfully finished a collection. “Oh my, I never felt this nervous before.”

“He’ll love it,” She whispers in your ear.

“How’d you know?” You ask, freaking out. “What if he’s not into art?”

“I doubt that,” Sora laughs and turns you around, to where Mark is standing with Jackson, pointing at the large painting. With them, two other men stand to the side, observing one of your few drawings. “Hey guys!”

You shush her as people start looking at you, them included. Their smiles could light up the room, and you think you might just tell your single friends to attend that hospital.

“Y/N, congratulations!” Jackson shouts excitedly, hugging you tight. His friend, taller than the rest, face palms himself, pulling the doctor away from you.

“I’m sorry for him– sometimes he gets too excited and forgets about personal space,” His friend laughs. “Nice to meet you, I’m Yugyeom. I work with these idiots.”

“Oh, so both of you are doctors, too?” You ask impressed.

“Yeah,” His friend nods. “I’m Jaebeom. I work in the Neurosurgery department, and this big baby here is with Pediatrics.”

“I’m Y/N, and this is Sora,” You shake their hands. “I hope you enjoy the exhibit!”

“Everything is beautiful, Y/N,” Mark finally speaks up. “Thank you for having us.”

“Thank you for coming,” You smile, inching closer. “It means a lot.”

Everything works out wonderfully; you sell a few paintings, the boys stay until the end, and you all end up in a bar nearby, celebrating a successful night. After a few drinks, you and Mark were flirting shamelessly. You both sat in front of each other and, ignoring everyone else, you two talked as if there wasn’t other four people in the table; and they also let you be, poking fun in between them, but never interrupting your chat.

“You know,” Mark says taking a sip of his beer. “There was this one painting I saw tonight, and I was wondering if it had been sold.”

You laugh. “You want to buy my painting?”

“I do!” He defends himself, chuckling a bit. “It was colorful and peaceful at the same time; I loved it. Working in the Emergency Room can be, and usually is, a lot… you lose your faith in the world a bit. I think that if I have that painting in my office, it can help me relax and remember that there is a lot of good out there, too. You know which one I’m talking about? The one with light pink and dark blue and–”

“When’s your birthday?” You ask, suddenly.

“In a couple of weeks, actually,” He squints at you. “Why?”

“Nothing,” You shrug, already texting the gallery’s manager to take that painting off the wall. She tells you she reserved it for you and you relax, knowing you can do something for this man that’s done a lot for you.

“Did you just–“

“We gotta go,” Jaebeom calls. “There was a crash nearby and they need everyone on shift. Did everyone drink?”

They all nod, but get up anyways.

“I drank a third of a beer, I’m good,” Mark says and his face is hard as stone. You sigh, knowing he’s back at doctor mode. “Were there kids involved?”

Jaebeom nods and Yugyeom pushes his cup away, putting his jacket in record time.

“I’m really sorry,” Mark whispers to you as you all rush to pay the bill. “I wish I could drop you home but…”

“Hey, it’s okay,” You promise. “I completely understand; here, give me your phone.”

He does and you give him yours.

“Text me when you get home,” He begs, eyes sad.

“I will,” You smile, hoping to lighten the mood before he has to face more tragedies. “And you text me when you’re done, Doctor.”

“Will do,” He kisses your cheek and winks before running after his friends.

Sora walks with you and promises to let you know once she’s home. Disappointed but overall happy, you change out of your fancy outfit in favor of your oversized sweatpants and sweatshirt. The TV is on but you can’t seem to focus on anything, always glancing at your phone in hopes of receiving a text. You understand that he’s probably really busy, being the head of the ER, so you try to not expect much, deciding that it’s better to not hope for anything then to get disappointed in the end.

It’s around midnight that your phone shines, illuminating the dark room. Luckily, your insomnia kicked in and you were wide awake, replaying the events of the night over and over again, sometimes cringing at something you remember having said, or giggling at a face Mark made. Once the light of your phone washes the room, though, you forget all about the past hours and focus on the present, quickly unlocking your phone.

Mark: you promised you’d let me know once you were home >.<

He used an emoji. You couldn’t believe Mark Tuan, the stone faced doctor of the ER, used an emoji.

You: I’m sorry! I completely forgot!

You: Did you get off of work just now?

Mark: Yeah… I’m sorry if I woke you up

You: It’s okay, I wasn’t asleep

You: You must be really tired right now…

Mark: Not at all! We can talk more

Mark: If you’re not tired, that is!

You: Can you come over, then?

You: It’s an emergency!

And you are very aware that there are a thousand better words to use rather than “emergency,” especially with a doctor that spends his days performing surgery on emergency patients, but you couldn’t help but laugh at the irony.

Mark: Emergency??? What happened?

Mark: Are you feeling alright?

Mark: Send me your address, please!

Mark: Y/N!

You send him the address and for a second you almost feel guilty for setting him on a panic driven mission, but you console yourself with the hope that he’ll like the reward. It takes him exact seven minutes to make it to your house and you worry about him a little, knowing that on a good traffic day, it usually takes fifteen; however, you forget all about it when you see him at your door, hair messy and eyes wild. He is still wearing the clothes he had at the exhibit and you chastise yourself for changing into your sweats.

“Hey–“ You open the door a little bit but he gently pushes the rest of it open, walking in, and closing it with his feet. His hands are on your head instantly, searching for an injury.

“What happened?” He asks and asks you to follow his finger with your eyes. “Do you feel sick? Did you get hurt again? How are you so clumsy, Y/N?”

Laughing, you hold both his hands and put them down, letting it go only when his arms are limp next to his body.

“I’m okay,” You say taking a step forward. It was now or never; you had to be brave. “It’s another kind of emergency.”

“W-what kind i-is it?” His stutter makes you smile, knowing you can break his stone face down.

“Hm, the urgent kind,” Your lips graze his as you speak, and you think he stopped breathing.

“If it’s that urgent why didn’t you call me before?” You can feel his confidence growing as one of his arms goes around your waist, and the other hand grabs the nape of your neck.

“You were busy,” You know you sound lame but it’s true– you were afraid of messing up his work.

“Never too busy for you,” And then he kisses you.

You think his kisses can be compared to his smiles; they are shy and gentle in the beginning, but once he gets comfortable, they are languid and familiar. They claim you in the most delicious of ways– your body, your mouth, your heart,– and all you can do is give; give everything he wants, even if that means giving your whole self. The things about Mark, though, is that although he takes it all, he gives his all, too; and you feel it, through the kiss, how much he wants to be yours. How much he wants you closer, and closer, and closer, until you’re pressed against your wall, trapped in his body.

You pull away first, laughing as he follows your mouth with his.

“It’s late,” You whisper in between pecks. “Why don’t we go sleep?”

“Sleep?” He asks, blinking as if he never heard those words before.

“Or not,” You wink already walking to the bedroom. “Your choice, though you look like you have… an emergency.”

“You’re going to be the death of me,” He groans and runs after you. “Get back here!”

Safe to say, you trip on your way down the hall. But it’s okay; you have your stone faced doctor with you.

------------------------

hello lovelies! This is the first story of the General Hospital Series I’m doing for GOT7! How’d you like it? I have been falling in love with Mark more and more each day ❤️ leave your thoughts in the comment section, it means the world to know what you thin of my story :P love you all and thanks for the support!

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degrassi-fanatic · 4 years ago

Text

Good At The Job

For lawrancel and peter-ohara

The moment Hotch hears the monitor flatline, the noise echoing through the silent room, he decides to make his way out of the hospital room. The two parents need some time to grieve privately and Hotch is not a monster, he won’t rip Jimmy away from his dead son, not until he has to.

Pushing open the door as quietly as he possibly can, Hotch lets himself out of the room. He draws in a deep breath as he presses his body against the nearest empty space on the wall. His palms are flat against the cold wall, the sensation anchoring him to reality. He tilts his head up as he attempts to will away the tears.

From the corner of his, he sees a familiar mop of brown hair come into view and soon he feels a hand rest on his upper arm, the warmth seeping through his dress shirt and spreading across his skin.

“Hotch,” Reid says softly, “You okay?”

Using the arm free of Reid’s grasp, Hotch wipes away the remaining tears on his face using the end of his sleeve.

“I’m fine.” Hotch answers back quickly, his voice coming out all watery, “Let’s just— let’s go back to the station.”

He is well aware that he’s not doing an excellent job of convincing Reid but he hopes that, for once in his life, Reid will simply drop the matter, that he won’t keep probing.

It’s quite clear that today will not be the exception as Hotch’s hopes are crushed when he feels Reid’s digits curling into his bicep. As the younger man shuffles closer to lean into Hotch’s side, he uses his free hand to twine their fingers together.

“The team can wrap up the case without us.” he murmurs as he tries to make fleeting eye contact with Hotch, “You want to talk about it?”

Without hesitation, Hotch shakes his head vehemently.

No, he does not want to talk about it. He’d rather be back at the police station going through mind-numbing procedures that would help him forget the look of pure anguish on Ryan’s parents’ faces when he uttered his final goodbye.

“Aaron…” Reid admonishes gently, “Please?”

For a minute, he stays silent and Reid resigns himself to having lost this battle with Hotch. He can feel him making microscopic movements to inch away and that makes a surge of panic rush through Hotch for an inexplicable reason.

Moving his hand to grasp at Reid’s waist, Hotch leans his mouth down to his ear. He wants to be quiet because he knows that right beside them, inside the hospital room, is a pair of parents wondering how to keep going on after they’ve lost their son.

“I saw a kid die,” he starts off, his breath most likely tickling the shell of Reid’s ear from the way the man was squirming in his hold, “And I don’t know, my mind must have gotten away from me, because I kept imagining if it was Jack. Then, I started imagining if Jack had gotten sick and I had to say goodbye, if he had gotten into an accident and I had to bury him, if he had been killed by Foyet—”

He cuts himself off as he heaves in a ragged breath. He knows that by now his fingers must be leaving bruises in Reid’s skin from the way he’s tightened his grip.

“I felt bad for him.” Hotch admits quietly to Reid, “For the unsub, for Jimmy. I know he’s a killer but I understand him. If Jack got sick or if he died, I would snap too and that makes me afraid. That the person I identify with, is the bad guy.

“I mean, what does that make me?”

“Good at the job.” Reid whispers back.

It’s a callback to something he said years ago to him, back when Reid had been younger and Hotch had smiled more. It loosens up the knot in his chest, if only enough to let him take a free breath.

“Thanks Reid.” he says, and he’s not sure what he’s thanking him for, but it feels right to say the words.

A second or two passes when Hotch realizes they are still wrapped up around one another. Despondently, he thinks it’s time he pulls away from Reid’s body. They’ve been intertwined in a way that is inappropriate for boss and subordinate, for friends, even.

As he goes to take a step back, Reid places a hand on top of Hotch’s own that was resting on his waist, effectively keeping him close.

“By the way,” Reid says into his ear, “I don’t think you’ll ever turn into an unsub.”

“What do you mean?”

“A lot of our unsubs,” Reid begins as he moves to look Hotch in the eye, “Their triggers are when their loved ones die a traumatic death. But, Hotch, you? Your wife was murdered by a man that had made your life living hell, and instead of choosing violence, against yourself or others, you chose to go back to work and put people like Foyet away. You chose to be the good way when it could have been so easy to fall off the deep end, you chose to be good even though it wasn't easy.

"And you showed your son that you can move past tragedy without forgetting about it.”

All Hotch can do is stare at Reid and take in all of the awe and pride swirling around in his eyes.

“I was rambling, wasn’t I?” he pipes up when Hotch cannot produce a response for him in time.

“I like it.” Hotch mumbles as he brings his thumb up to trace the corner of Reid’s mouth.

“When it doesn’t interfere with the job?” he teases, even though a blush appears across his own face.

“Yeah.”

The next day, after the team has filed into the jet and they are well on their way back home to Quantico, Rossi decides to stride over to where Hotch was sitting, his paperwork scattered around him on the table in front of him.

“So,” Rossi says, elongating the vowel as he leans his arm on the top of the empty seat in front of Hotch, “Is the doomsday bike ride happening?”

“Yes, it is. Tomorrow morning, 9:00.” he informs, “But, uh, I don't know.”

“I'm pretty sure Haley wouldn't want you to avoid moving on.”

Though it’s been two years, her name still cracks against his heart like a whip whenever he hears it. He wonders when the blow will lessen its impact.

“I'm not avoiding moving on.” he murmurs as he scribbles something down, “I'm just not sure.”

It’s the truth. He just isn’t sure if it’s worth the hassle.

Beth is nice and sweet and she is someone Hotch could fall in love with. But, she’s so innocent and Hotch doesn’t want to do to her what he did to Haley. He doesn’t want Beth to bear the burden of a job she did not sign up for. It’s not fair to her, just like it wasn’t fair to Haley.

He sees no point in attempting a relationship that is doomed to end catastrophically.

“Not sure about what? Going on a bike ride?” Rossi asks, slightly exasperated, “Aaron, I know you think it's too soon, but you're no good to anyone when you're miserable.”

“I'm not miserable.”

Hotch has a good life. He has a wonderful son and a kind sister. He has a team that has his back no matter what. What more could he ask for? What more could he ask for without feeling guilty? Without feeling selfish?

“Ehh…” Rossi says with a little hand gesture, “Maybe slightly uptight.”

A small chuckle escapes Hotch.

“All right,” he concedes as he sets his pen down, “I'll give you slightly uptight.”

After a moment, the grin on Rossi’s face dials down, replaced by the sight of a small, sad smile.

“If there's one thing I learned from Carolyn's death, it's that life is short.” he says, “And you deserve to be happy.”

“I know.” Hotch murmurs, half lying and half telling the truth.

Leaning closer, Rossi gives him a pat on the shoulder before he straightens up and makes his way back to his own seat, where Prentiss and Morgan are waiting for him so they can begin their game of poker.

As he picks up his pen once more, Hotch is about to get back to his paperwork when the pen is snatched up from behind him. In its place is a warm mug of coffee, instead. Looking up, he finds Reid beaming down at him as he holds Hotch’s favourite pen hostage in one hand, and his own mug of coffee in the other.

“Did you poison it with your sugar?” Hotch jokes as he brings his nose down to the rim of the mug.

“Haha,” Reid says sarcastically as he takes his seat in front of Hotch, “That’s coming from Mr. I-take-my-coffee-as-dark-as-my-soul.”

“Well, if coffee is supposed to represent its drinker, I think yours is fitting as well.” Hotch says, surprising himself with his words.

“Because I’m so pale?”

“Because you’re sweet.” Hotch corrects.

He isn’t quite sure why he said the words but whatever the reason is good enough for him as he watches the flush spread across Reid’s face like it did last night. Soon after, Reid ducks his head down as he distracts himself by taking a sip of his overly sugary coffee.

Maybe, Hotch had gotten it all wrong. Maybe, he should’ve been searching for a partner in his own circles. Someone who understood him and understood everything he had been through. Someone who he didn’t have to go through the painful pleasantries of first dates with because they already knew him. Someone who would not be scared away by the job because they worked the job too.

Someone like Reid, he thinks to himself.

Sighing, Hotch pushes aside the thought. Reid would never want to be with a man like him. Not when he had so many other options available to him. Sure, he’s a little late on social cues but he makes up for it with kindness, passion, intellect, with his whole personality. Anyone would be lucky to have him.

In the pocket of his trousers, he feels his cell phone vibrate with a new text message notification. Whipping it out, he spots Beth’s contact name on the screen.

“Jess?” Reid asks.

“No, it’s, uh, it’s Beth.” at Reid’s questioning look, Hotch explains, “She’s the woman I met in the park while I was training. She’s asking if I would like to join her for some dinner later in the day after we finish our bike ride tomorrow.”

“Oh,” Reid says deflated, “That’s nice.”

As he grows dismayed, a seed of hope sprouts up inside of Hotch. He wonders if…

“Unfortunately for her, I am busy.” he announces as he sets his cell phone face down on the table.

“With what?” Reid asks, curiously.

“Taking you out to dinner.” and Hotch isn’t sure where this streak of bravery came from but he is grateful for it, “That is if you’ll say yes.”

The grin that Reid greets him with reaches the corners of his eyes and leaves Hotch feeling breathless.

“That depends.” he says as he raises his mug up to his mouth before lightly blowing over the top.

“On?”

“If you mean it in the way I think you do.” he explains.

“Spencer,” Hotch murmurs lowly to make sure the rest of the team cannot eavesdrop, “I would like to take you out on a date.”

“Okay.” he mumbles into the rim of his mug.

“Okay?” Hotch asks, wanting to double check, a smile already stretching across his face.

“Yep.” Reid nods shyly.

Without another word, Hotch settles back into his chair to get some work done. He’d rather not have to do it tomorrow, seeing as he’s going to be very busy.

As he slides sheets of papers around, he spots Reid getting up from his seat, only to slot up beside him on the empty chair next to him. Reid brings his hand down to Hotch’s, and he can feel a pen nudging his palm. After taking hold of it, Hotch tries to get back to work only to find his right hand clasped together with Reid’s left, settling on top of his thigh.

It’s a good thing Hotch is left handed.

#criminal minds #hotchreid #~fic~

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heathers-wig · 4 years ago

Text

come & find me - heathney hanahaki au part three

note: please check out parts 1 & 2 before reading! this is the final part :)

## / ## / ##

So. It’s the Hanahaki Disease. Such bullshit. I sound delirious just writing it, but it can’t be helped, I guess.

I don’t know who they’re for, but I can’t let anyone find out. It would bring the bad type of attention, and no one can know of this weakness. Especially my “beloved”, seeing as how they’re literally the death of me. I don’t know who they are, but I already hate their guts. Maybe they’ve replaced Courtney as the Most Aggravating Individual of the Year.

## / ## / ##

Good news: I’m not the only one that has the disease! Bad news: Gwen, Eva, Harold, and Izzy know. Oh, and Gwen has it too, and over the idiot skateboarder, no less.

I guess I can’t judge, though, seeing as how I don’t know who these stupid flowers are for. “Pride” and “loyalty” — what type of hints are those? And Izzy was so out of line with the “I bet it’s Courtney” thing. Glad Gwen found it funny because I sure didn’t.

If it is Courtney, I have the worst taste. The worst.

But Izzy won’t be right. Courtney’s Courtney, and out of my league and I’m out of her league.

## / ## / ##

So. It turns out Izzy was right.

## / ## / ##

Courtney’s infuriating, still, but not in the same way as before. She’s so hard to look away from. I’ve observed all these things about her that I didn’t even know I noticed, and now they’re all resurfacing and it makes it so hard to ignore her. All the things I found aggravating before are weirdly charming now??

She’s just… really pretty. And sweet if she wants to be.

Shit, I really do love her.

Wait. WAIT NO THAT'S NOT WHAT I

…

No, I do love her. I really fucking love her.

She’s just?? Perfect. Every time she straightens her hair and every time she proves someone wrong and every time she does literally anything is so goddamn pretty I can’t even breathe around her. Literally. It’s selfish but I want to have all the couple-y things with her. I want the picket fence and matching rings and holding hands. I want her intimacy and love and affection. I want it all.

But… I’m too selfish for that. I’m just going to die, I’ve accepted it. It’s about time the Hanahaki Club does, too, or they’re just playing themselves as fools.

I am, too, by fantasizing like this. Dying is the only way for me.

## / ## / ##

Gwen’s in stable condition. She got in a coughing fit during a Hanahaki Club meeting, and now she’s literally fucking dying.

I’m scared, but I don’t know why.

That’s going to be me, soon, though. Whether or not Gwen lives to see is something I’ll just have to see.

## / ## / ##

Of course Courtney found out. Smartass.

But is it bad that I really, really liked having her attention and care?

Whatever. But, she held my hand today, and her hand was really, really warm.

God, how pathetic am I? I’m literally dying over here and yet I’m getting all flustered over a hand. I’m doomed.

I don’t know, I just wished I could have stayed like that with her forever. Her hand on mine. Her hand squeezing mine.

Together.

## / ## / ##

It got worse.

It hurts and it hurts and it hurts and it hurts and it hurts to even fucking breathe with how much it hurts.

Am I dying? I think I am.

I hope I am.

## / ## / ##

She’s clueless. She’s so fucking cute when she’s clueless.

She keeps on trying to guess who my “beloved” is, and she’s fucking clueless that it’s her. Of course she is. Of course Courtney is smart and sharp at everything but identifying that it’s her I’m in love with.

Of course, of course, that’s just the universe playing “Heather’s Karma” at me.

She’ll fall in love, someday, and it’ll hurt like a bitch when she realizes who she’s pining for is a dense rock.

## / ## / ##

I want to hold her and kiss her and love her and I know it’s selfish but the thought of it is so good but I can’t indulge in it and it hurts.

… At least it’ll be over, soon. I can feel another cough coming.

## / ## / ##

I’m going to die today. I can feel it.

It’s a shame Courtney is going to beat herself up for not finishing the answer on time, though, but she’s going to hurt either way. Maybe I’ll leave her this so that she knows.

God, that’s going to be embarrassing, but at least I’ll be dead and not around to see her reaction, even though it’ll be priceless.

It’s time to go, though.

## / ## / ##

Good (?) news: I’m not dead. Bad (?) news: I will be in a few hours.

I’m high on pain meds right now. It hurts to write, but I gotta.

So I thought I was gonna die. Fucking Gwen n Eva ruined that though. They got me to a hospital. Caring assholes.

The doctors say the flowers are going to suffocate me. Good. I’m ready for this to be over.

My last request is that this, somehow, is given to Courtney Barlow. The doctors already know this.

So, Courtney, hey, how are you? In the event you have this, I’m dead. Sorry. You were the person I got Hanahaki for. Sorry for not telling you.

I’m running out of time but I love you. You already saw the other entries, you already know how much I love you and every part of you. Of course you do. Smartass.

Besides this, I have left you a lotus and an azalea taped in my journal. The azalea means “take care of yourself for me”, and I left you one because I’m going to beat your ass if I see you again too soon. The lotus means rebirth.

I don’t know what happens when you die, but come and find me when we’re reborn. In the next life or the one after that, just come and find me. I’ve never been patient but for you, I’ll wait.

Come and find me.

(Courtney goes to find her.)

❀

She finds her through a vase of flowers. Lotus flowers and azaleas, to never forget the promise Heather didn’t know she made.

And heathers. Especially heathers, year-round. The only difference was that she tossed them out before she could see them wilt, much like the original Heather had.

Over the years, Courtney found Heather in minuscule things. In flowers, of course. In libraries and in pain enduring manuals and in medication and in sickness and in health, Courtney found her.

The girl who lives and loves and cries eventually dies, knowing that she’ll soon be reunited with the girl who lived and loved and died.

❀

0. restart

past the blood and bruise / past the curses and cries / beyond the terror in the nightfall / haunted by the look in my eyes / that would've loved you for a lifetime / leave it all behind / and there is happiness

❀

vi. white heathers & red roses; ‘wishes do come true’ & ‘I love you’

It’s been perhaps a day or two since Heather had awoken from her state of dying that she had accepted with grace, and Heather hates everything about the situation.

She may be in stable condition, but she is in no way getting better. She still hacks out sweet peas and purple hyacinths, along with her own blood, and she still feels just as depleted, but Heather can’t bring herself to care. The hospital gown is stiff, and saying the medical equipment is unfamiliar and uncomfortable is an understatement at best, but still, Heather takes the treatment with little argument to be provided. She’s too exhausted to care anymore, and she knows that in a few days short her time will come for good.

Still, despite her denial of the surgery, that didn’t stop her friends from the Hanahaki Club and the doctors begging her in a gentle yet urgent tone to go through with the surgery. She’s not sure why she declines; had it been a few months ago, Heather would have leaped at the chance for treatment when Gwen first suggested it. Now, though, Heather found herself wrinkling her nose in distaste, shaking her head, refusing the treatment, company, and tray of food brought to her.

Maybe, Heather thinks, if she refused her medication and nutrients, she’d die faster, but it seemed even at the hospital she didn’t get the choice. Soon, both are injected into her, and all Heather can do is sigh and wish the blossoms would overtake her faster.

Her family never shows up, though, and Heather is unsure if that’s truly a good or bad thing.

Shaking her head and the thought away, Heather wordlessly looks to the vase of roses sitting next to her stand on her side with a cheesy Get Well Soon! card attached to the vase.

Momentarily, she wonders if she would be killed faster if she choked on the thorns of the roses, before falling asleep due to her own exhaustion.

❀

It’s around 7 PM when Heather expects her nurse to come around with her dinner — an unidentifiable lump of food that tastes like chalk — when the door to her quarters slams open, and a girl who is very much not her nurse stumbles into the room.

Upon identifying who her unprecedented intruder was, Heather felt her windpipes squeeze, a lump forming in her throat. All she can do is stare like an idiot at Courtney, whose face seems to be unable to choose between adopting overwhelming relief or fiery rage.

Momentarily, though, Courtney’s raw frustration creases her features, deepening a scowl and narrowing her eyes — had she always had those bags beneath them? — to slits.

“You… you absolute idiot,” the brunette seethes, fumbling over her words. “Why? Why did you make yourself suffer for so long over these stupid flowers over me? Why are you refusing treatment? God, you’re such an idiot…”

Just like that, concern and relief overwhelm her initial anger, allowing Courtney to sink to her knees next to Heather’s side. The brunette clutches the other’s nearest hand desperately as her face contorts, fighting back a sniffle. For a fleeting moment, concern overrides all else as Heather watches Courtney let out a muffled sob, but she’s powerless to do anything besides squeezing her hand.

“But if you’re an idiot, I’m the bigger one,” Courtney choked out a watery laugh. “All that time spent investigating, and I didn’t even notice who the flowers were even for — if I had just thought harder, or if you had just told me, I could have put an end to these flowers by telling you how I feel.”

At that, Heather opens her mouth to speak, but winces as the pain seeps in once again. She notices her heart monitor elsewhere spiking, and at this, Courtney gives her hand reassuring squeezes that feel familiar and comforting.

Shaking her head once more, Courtney sighs, a fond smile cracking past her exasperated exterior. “Idiot,” she says once more, smiling, “Did you really think I didn’t like you?”

Feeling herself inhale sharply, Heather blinks once, twice, and three times before deducing that no, she hadn’t imagined the words in a dying state. Courtney’s watery eyes and wide smile and hold on her hand are still there, and so is the pain, momentarily, before it subsides. After exhaling deeply, there’s no shakiness in her breaths, nor irritation in her chest or flowers itching in the back of her throat for release.

There was only air. No flowers, blood, or bloody flowers. Just fresh and clean air that she had been deprived of for months.

For the first time in months, Heather breathes, fully and truly, free of the deadly flowers in front of her beloved.

Courtney seems to have noticed as well (her sharpness is something Heather admired — no, loved about her) as her smile falls off her face as a look of blatant surprise overtakes her features. She presses a shaking hand to Heather’s chest, feeling her heartbeat and the even rises and falls of her chest, and laughs.

She’s still shaking, though, so in a moment of blissful selfishness that Heather finally allows herself to indulge in, she wraps Courtney in a hug, and when the brunette wraps her arms around Heather, she vows to never let her go.

The months of the floral disease have been a chilling winter and her touch feels as though she has provided a getaway from it. The snow has given away and has melted into spring, the season of rebirth.

The brunette's warm. She always was, she always has been, but her warmth was unlike Heather had ever felt before, especially in the cold and lonely hospital. Greedily, Heather takes in her heat and her love and breathes in her cinnamon perfume. She was here, and it was real.

Courtney laughs softly, her chapped lips pressing against Heather’s temple diligently. She gives Heather’s hand a squeeze when they disperse from the hug, smiling brightly. Heather smiles and looks to the roses next to her side and lets herself love.

❀

Later, long after they had dispersed from their initial hug and moved onto exchanges of gentle kisses and hand-holding, Courtney hands Heather a bouquet of flowers just before she is dismissed from the hospital. The brunette looks away from Heather’s inquiring gaze, seeming embarrassed and bashful for the first time since Heather had met her.

When Heather identifies the flowers, though, she understands the uncharacteristic flustered behavior, but finds it charming and amusing rather than embarrassing.

White heathers. She lifted a portion of the bouquet to the light for a better view of the white flowers. Symbolizing wishes coming true.

Whether or not Courtney knew of flower language — after this, Heather was unsure if she ever wanted to lay her eyes on the language of flowers, despite the fact it was seared in her head — didn’t matter to Heather. She smiles instead, brushing hair out of Courtney’s eyes to look into them better.

“Thank you,” she whispers, her voice hoarse from all the time she spent talking with Courtney.

Predictably, Courtney opens her mouth to respond, but Heather cuts her off with a kiss.

She had been wanting Courtney and her love and affection for months, now, and now that she had it, she couldn’t help but feel the flowers and vicious coughing were nothing but a bad dream she had awoken from.

When they pull apart, Heather sucks in a breath and chuckles softly, just barely audibly, as their noses bump together.

“I love you,” Heather says. There’s no hesitation or stumbling with her words in her proclamation — only sincerity and assurance. She had waited a long time to even think of saying those words, and they had been pressing against her tongue for all of those months spent hacking up flowers. Still, throughout all of the time and suffering, all Heather had done was fall further, and the words were meant with her entire being.

Courtney’s smile in response was bright. Her eyes are just as bright, if not brighter; the words brought tears to her eyes, but thankfully, they were happy tears.

“I love you too,” Courtney murmurs, and this time, it’s her lips that find Heather’s with a smile pressed against them.

❀

END OF PART THREE - THANK YOU FOR READING! :)

#total drama #td heather #td courtney #td gwen #td eva #td izzy #td harold #heathney #gweoff #izva #evzy #my writing #heathney hanahaki au #hanahaki #part 3/3 #thank you for reading if you did!!

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toomuchtv95 · 5 years ago

Text

I Don’t Regret Anything

Characters: Jay Halstead x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k+

Warnings: Mentions of miscarriage, abuse, swearing

Summary: You’ve been in one bad relationship and you fear of being in any kind of relationship.

A/n: Also, my obsession with Jay is just ridiculously out of hand. After last night's episode, I may or may not have another idea floating around in my head. Jay Halstead deserves all the love in the world.

MasterList

Mobile MasterList

(A/N: I do not own the gift. I had found it on google. So credits to whoever owns it.)

Growing up things for you were hard. You were basically born into a mess. You were born to drug addict parents and once you were born your parents basically check out. Your uncle, Hank Voight had taken custody of you and raised you as his own. Throughout your childhood, your mother would show up randomly asking Hank for money or claiming that she wanted to be a mother again. Then once you got into high school, your mother disappeared, and you haven’t seen her since then. You finished high school at the top of your class, then you went to Med school to become a doctor which is what you wanted to be since you were a kid.

Then just as your life was doing good, things started to go back downhill. While you were doing your residency, you had met a guy, Ryan, who you had fallen in love with. The two of you dated for 2years before you found out that you were pregnant and that’s when Ryan started to change. Ryan started becoming verbally abusive, then came throwing things, breaking things, staying out late, drinking, and eventually cheating. That’s when you decided that things needed to end between the two of you. You decided that you were going to keep the baby and raise it on your own.

One night, he had shown up at your apartment drunk and demanding you to take him back and when you tried to close the door, he pushed you to the floor and kicked you a handful of times in the stomach. As soon as he left, you called 911 and that night you found out because of the trauma you had a miscarriage. Also, that night was the night you meet Antonio Dawson. Antonio had informed you that Ryan wasn’t even his real name. His real name was James Conner, he was wanted for drug dealing, money laundering, and assault and battery. You were in complete shock and you felt like a complete idiot for not knowing. After that night, Antonio was always checking in on you making sure that Ryan/James was not contacting you anyway and eventually the two of you became best friends.

“Jay, what are you doing here?” As you approached the nurse’s station you saw Detective Jay Halstead leaning against the nurse’s station.

“Well, this is the one place I knew you would be at.” You were a successful pediatric surgeon with a subspecialty in fetal surgery at Gaffney Chicago Medical Center. “You’re a hard woman to get ahold of.”

“Yeah, well I’ve been busy with work.” That wasn’t a complete lie. You were busy with an overload of surgeries the last couple of weeks but if you were completely honest with yourself, you were avoiding Jay.

“More like busy avoiding me.” Tears welled in the corners of your eyes as you looked down at your feet avoiding eye contact with Jay. “Look the other night, I’m glad came to me and opened up and I don’t regret what happen, but apparently you do.” You saw the hurt in his eyes, and it made your heart sink. Without even saying anything, Jay shook his head in disappointment and walked off. You wanted nothing more to call out after him, but you just couldn’t.

As soon as Jay left, you felt tears rolled down your cheeks, and you walked to the nearest bathroom and cried softly. The first time you meet Jay was at Molly’s after a rough shift at Med and that’s when you saw Jay sitting at the bar alone. That night, you had found out that he was working under your uncle in Intelligence. Throughout the night, the two of you had gotten to know each other and since that night the two of you had become good friends. There was no lying to yourself when it comes to your feeling for Jay. You were completely and utterly in love with Jay Halstead and that scares you.

“No turning back.” You whispered to yourself as you headed inside to Jay’s apartment. As you stood in front of Jay’s apartment door, you took a deep breath before knocking softly.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” Jay opened the door and was in shock to see you standing there.

“Can I come in?” Jay nodded as he opened the door wider for you to walk in.

“Can I get you something to drink?” Jay closed the door behind you, and you nodded your head. “Beer okay?” You again nodded your head. Jay disappeared into the kitchen while you looked around his apartment. This wasn’t the first time you were in Jay’s apartment; you have been here quite a bit. The two of you have had movie nights, take out nights and you even crashed with him for a few days when your apartment building had a burst water pipe.

“Thanks.” Jay handed you a beer as you took a seat on the couch. You took a sip of beer hoping that it would help with the nerves. “I need to tell you something.”

“Okay….” Jay looked at you with confusion but didn’t say anything so that you could explain. You placed your beer on the coffee table and turned to face Jay. As you told Jay about your past tears filled your eyes as the memories flooded your mind. Jay reached over and wiped your tears that had rolled down your cheek. “I don’t tell people because I don’t want people to look at me differently.”

“There is nothing in this world that would make me look at you any differently.” Jay gave your hand a light squeeze. “I like you for who you are.” No one has ever said those words to you and meant it. Hearing those words, something inside of you sparked, you leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips. For a second, Jay was taken back but he kissed you back.

“Earth to Y/N.” You snapped out of thoughts when you saw Will standing on the other side of the nurse’s station. You must have spaced out again for the 5th time since seeing Jay this morning. “You okay? You’ve been kind of off today.”

“Yeah, just got a lot on my mind.” Will handed you the tablet so that you could look over your shared patients’ chart.

“Would my brother be one of those things on your mind?” This cannot be happening. Did Jay talk to Will about what happened the other night? “I saw that the two of you in an intense conversation this morning.”

“Oh, that. It was nothing.” You looked down at the tablet looking though the labs and signed off on the course of treatment.

“Jay puts on tough guy acted, but when it comes to you, he’s himself.” Will grabbed the tablet from your hands and leaned against the counter to continue. “To be honest, I think you two are good for each other. He cares for you a lot.” Will pushes himself away from the counter and walked away.

Pushing yourself away from the counter, you logged off the computer and headed upstairs to your office. As you sat in the elevator on the way up to the Pediatric ward, you started to think about what Will said. You had to make this right before you lose Jay for good. Getting off the elevator, he walked down the hall towards your office, and when you looked down your watch you saw that it was almost 7:30pm. After gathered your stuff, you stood outside the hospital and waited for your Uber. Normally, you would have your car, but unfortunately, your car was in the shop for a few days, so you have been relying on uber, and sometimes Antonio. Once you got in the car, you told the driver took you to Molly’s in hope that Jay was there. As you walked into Molly’s you glanced around and saw Jay sitting at the bar top.

“I don’t regret what happen.” Jay quickly turned around when he heard you speak. “Meeting you is one of the best things to happen to me.” You took a step to close the gap between the two of you and rest your hand on the nape of his neck. “Jay, I am in love with you and-”, before you could finish your sentence his lips were on yours. He kissed you and the world fell away. It was slow and soft, comforting in ways that words would never be. He reached up and rested his hand below your ear, his thumb caressing your cheek.

Jay stood up from the barstool and pulled away just enough to look at you in the eyes, “Y/N, I’m in love with you too.” You were in shock that Jay felt the same way, but you knew this felt right. “Wanna get out of here?” You nodded your head before Jay tossed some money on the bar-top and wrapped his arm around your shoulders.

As the morning sun peaked through the blinds, you felt the warmth against your face and the memories of last night flooded back which a smile formed on your face. After slowly opening your eyes, you blinked away the sleep then as you turned around you then wrapped your arms around his chest and kissed in between his shoulders. You felt Jay stir in his sleep then he slowly turned around. “Hi,” the smile on your face grew even bigger and you didn’t think that was possible.

“Morning.” Jay smiled and gave you a soft yet passionate kiss. Jay pushed you onto your back and climbed onto of you. Jay's mouth moved from your lips and he started to place soft kisses against your jawline and eventually working this way down your neck. As you tried to enjoy the moment, you heard your phone go off from somewhere on the floor.

“Jay…” You didn’t want to stop, but you needed to answer your phone. It could be the hospital calling about a patient. “I have to get that.” Jay looked up at you which you smiled at him before giving him a quick kiss. Jay rolled off you as you leaned over the edge of the bed to grab your phone from underneath the pile of clothes. “It’s the hospital. I gotta get to the hospital.” You got out of bed and gather started putting on your clothes. “Don’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you.” Jay got out of bed and throw on his boxers and sat back down on the edge of the bed.

“Okay, good.” You smiled as you stood in front of Jay and cupped his cheek. “I love you; Jay and I would love to stay here all day in bed with you, but my patients need me.”

“Go save lives.” Jay reaches up and pulls you in for a long and passionate kiss.

Tag List; @corie-the-writer @daenerys-targaryes @esauthor @tyzerman91@onechicagofan20 @itsdesiree86 @death-star-canteen @spiridakos-wp @justnatys @anamile6878 @haileymatthewss @liamshole @hehurst23 @citylightsla @itserickalove @rosemusic18 @supyfish @beautiful-bunny89 @karamelmikaelsons @formulahockey @faithhasnowords @bellageorge03 @shootingcosmos @rochyu

#jay halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x reader #Chicago PD #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader

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