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makeste · 4 years ago

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but I just feel too tired to be fighting

this is a follow-up post to what I said in my recap the other day about this arc being the Deku Angst arc, as opposed to the Villain Hunt arc or the Deku SIXQUIRKS Exhibition arc. I feel like the fandom discussion tends to focus on the flashier parts of the chapters -- the sexy villains and the new quirk reveals and the Shindous -- each week, and so the quieter emotional beats sometimes get overlooked, especially since the character arc here is playing out in little bits and pieces over time rather than all at once.

this has always been a very reactionary fandom, and there’s a tendency to judge the chapters week to week without ever going back to look at how they all fit into the big picture. so I figured I would try to attempt that, and basically go chapter by chapter here to look at what exactly Horikoshi is setting up and how it all fits together.

so let’s start with the end of chapter 306, which is when the arc officially kicks off. specifically with the very last page:

this is imo one of the best pages Horikoshi has ever drawn. I got the sense that this was a scene he’d had in his mind’s eye for quite a long time, and that he was excited to finally get to this part of the story. it’s extremely effective as both a chapter-ender, and an arc-opener. like, look at this:

it establishes the initial premise of the new arc -- the world is in chaos, and Deku is now seemingly on his own

it leaves the readers with a number of questions. why did Deku leave U.A.?? is he really on his own now?? why does he look so beat-up and exhausted?? what is he up to?? what is the world like now that all these villains have been unleashed and the heroes have been decimated?? and most importantly of all, what the fuck is going to happen next??

it pays homage to some of Horikoshi’s comic book influences -- Batman in particular

it dramatically hits us with that “THE FINAL ACT BEGINS” and lets us know that shit is getting real now

that’s some good shit. so much so that I think people tended to overlook the other notable thing about this page amidst all of the initial excitement and discussion and speculation about where the series was headed. and that is the fact that the final panel in this chapter is NOT the panel of Deku standing above the city. the very last panel, the one that this chapter actually ends on, is instead the close-up of Deku’s face. his face, which is covered in shadow; and his eyes, which have dark circles under them and are prominently missing the usual flecks of light that give him his signature “sunny optimistic shounen protagonist” look.

not to mention this last line here, which is a call back to the very first time we saw the 14-year-old Deku way back in chapter one.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Horikoshi chose to throw this reference in. nor is it a coincidence that THIS is the scene he actually chose to end the chapter on. what this does is show us the drastic shift in Deku’s emotional state of mind, and his attitude towards being a hero. he’s gone from being thrilled and excited to being jaded and exhausted. he’s matured, but at a great cost. it’s always been his dream to be a hero, but “be careful what you wish for” is a popular adage for a reason. and right now he looks the furthest thing from happy.

and this is the emotional beat that Horikoshi chooses to end the chapter on. this is the panel that closes out the War arc, and begins the final act. to me the message could not be clearer -- this arc will be about the exploration of Deku’s character, and his struggle as he tries to live up to the expectations that have been placed on him as the Last Holder of OFA and quite possibly the World’s Only Hope.

it’s a character arc that builds on a lot of the things we’ve already learned about Deku over the course of the series, such as the fact that he is reckless, and that he focuses on others often at the expense of himself. but more importantly, it’s an arc that finally expands on the dark side of what has up until now been a net positive for Deku -- the power of OFA. up until this point, despite its ups and downs, it’s been a boon for Deku overall and has allowed him to pursue his dream. but now we’re finally reaching the point where the monkey’s paw part of the OFA blessing/curse finally starts to come into play. OFA gives Deku more power than he could have ever dreamed of, but it also comes with a built-in destiny that he can’t opt out of whether he likes it or not. AFO is on the loose and out there trying to destroy the world. and now everyone has pinned their hopes on this sixteen-year-old kid, and the question of whether or not the sixteen-year-old kid is ready is apparently not one that anyone feels inclined to ask (possibly because they’re afraid that the answer might be “no”).

he doesn’t have a choice in the matter. he has to do it, because there’s no one else who can. that’s the kind of pressure that is on Deku now.

and on that note, we begin the Deku Angst arc.

chapter 307

this in hindsight was mostly just a set-up chapter to better establish the current state of the BnHA world at large (spoilers: it’s not good), while also providing an answer for one of the big initial questions of the arc -- namely, “what happened to all of those villains that AFO released from Tartarus?” these are important things to touch on, but the pacing could definitely have been better, and the bulk of the chapter was dedicated to providing fanservice to all of the Shindou fans who spammed the most recent popularity poll (which, whatever lol). anyway, so this was the sole chapter thus far with absolutely no Deku development. thankfully the arc picks up from there.

chapter 308

on to the next one! this was the one and only chapter thus far which I think actually qualifies as an “exhibition fight.” this was definitely all about showing off Deku’s current powerset, as well as introducing us to another of the SIXQUIRKS. however, there was Deku development here as well, most notably in this scene:

this is the scene that got a lot of people speculating that this arc was going to focus on Deku hunting down all of the old villains. but I think people got so caught up in that speculation that they overlooked what this scene tells us about Deku’s mindset. and yes, there is new information being revealed here, and it’s not just a rehash of the stuff we already knew. like yes, we know that Deku was shaken up by the recent encounters with Dabi and Tomura, and we know that made him start questioning why villains become villains in the first place, and all that good stuff, and that’s great. however, there are two additional important things that this scene helps establish for us.

the upcoming battle with TomurAFO is weighing heavily on Deku’s mind. this is something that will become a recurring theme in this arc. Deku is thinking about this constantly. the question of what to do when he finally encounters TomurAFO again is knocking incessantly at the back of his mind, and this won’t be the last time it comes up.

Deku is using these villain encounters as test runs. can Tomura be redeemed?? is he just being stupid and naïve?? or is this really something worth attempting?? the interesting thing about this is that Deku’s resolve to save people is usually so strong and unwavering that it’s more than enough to overcome any doubts that he might have. but this time it seems like the repeated objections posed by the Vestiges and Gran Torino have really gotten to him. it’s possible I’m just reading way too much into things, but to me it really feels like Deku’s recent attempts at Talk no Jutsu were meant to do more than just show his growing awareness that the line between heroes and villains is thinner than he once imagined. they’re also serving as trial runs for the real test, when it finally comes. if he can “save” even a villain like Muscular, there’s hope for him being able to save Tomura as well. and so that moment when Muscular rejects him out of hand is all the more disappointing to him, even if it wasn’t really unexpected. basically it wasn’t the answer that he had been hoping for.

aside from those little notes though, like I said, this was unquestionably an exhibition fight first and foremost. which is fine; we needed to establish where Deku is currently in terms of strength, and it was also just fun to see him kick some ass, ngl. in terms of story purpose this chapter was similar to 219, which showed us how Shouto and Katsuki had powered up after getting their provisional licenses. people who don’t care about those characters might argue that these fights weren’t necessary, but as someone who stans all three characters hard, I would disagree! but anyways, moving on.

chapter 309

in contrast to the previous chapter, this chapter focuses more on establishing Deku’s current mental state, as opposed to his physical state. and this is what we learn:

(1) Deku is ~technically~ being shadowed/accompanied by All Might and the Hawksquad (but in practice he’s avoiding them).

(2) it was Deku’s own decision to leave U.A., and he did it because he didn’t want anyone else getting hurt in order to protect him.

and finally, (3) Deku’s game plan is to stop Tomura and All for One before they reach full power.

this last part is very important, because it means there’s a countdown in effect. as far as Deku is concerned, there’s only a finite amount of time before TomurAFO becomes unstoppable. which means that he’s not only under “gotta get stronger” pressure, but time pressure as well. he doesn’t have the luxury of taking his time and training in safety. he’s being rushed now; this is do-or-die.

this chapter is also the first in this arc in which we get to see Deku’s expressions without the hood covering up his face, and what we see is very telling. as previously stated, the light is gone from Deku’s eyes. he keeps his expressions very neutral, and the only time we even see a hint of a smile is when he hugs his mom in the flashback, and it’s clear from the dialogue (“it’s okay, I’ll come home to you”) that he’s doing it for her sake in order to comfort her.

but aside from that, this is very much not the Deku we’ve grown accustomed to. this is the chapter that really establishes his current mental state imo. above all else, he’s afraid that more people will get hurt because of him, and so he’s distancing himself from everyone around him. and he’s also morbidly preoccupied with the inevitability of having to face TomurAFO again, and soon. the chapter ends on the flashback of Gran giving him his cape, and telling Deku that “killing can be another way to save someone.” there’s a lot on this kid’s mind, to say the least.

chapter 310

this chapter opens with a gang of civilians who are trying to open fire on a nice fox lady whose only crime was walking around in the rain at night. Deku intervenes to save her, and it’s the first time in this arc that we see anything close to the “old” Deku, who just wanted to save people with a smile.

but it’s bittersweet, because all the lady can talk about is how scared she was, and how horrible everything is right now. and so Deku, who feels responsible in a lot of ways for everything that’s happened, just feels that much more pressure to somehow make things right again.

there’s also this extra throwaway line which is especially heartbreaking:

“I can’t afford to be around anyone.” fucking ouch. just reinforcing once more how incredibly isolated Deku is right now -- not by choice, but because he feels like it’s not safe to let anyone else get close to him. and so he’s out here running around this dystopian cityscape in the middle of the night in the pouring rain all on his own, and neglecting himself to the point where All Might practically has to force a bento on him.

but does he complain? of course not. because his focus is never on himself. instead, when he settles down to eat, his thoughts immediately drift back to, guess who...

it’s that time pressure once again. “unless I draw out One for All’s full power, I can’t stop any of this.” it’s just nonstop, I have to get stronger, I’m running out of time, I have to do better, and constantly thinking about that inevitable confrontation.

Deku is a thinker, you guys. and when left to his own devices he will overthink, every time. his mind will run in endless loops while he mentally works his way through all of the possibilities. and that’s one of his greatest strengths, don’t get me wrong, but at a time like this it’s also one of his greatest weaknesses. it’s just so fucking easy for him to get stuck in his own head, in his endless rambling thoughts and analyses. and without anyone else there to help distract him, or help him focus, he’s become fixated on his mission, and it’s slowly consuming him.

this, incidentally, is also the chapter in which we finally see Two and Three’s faces, and learn why Two in particular is so reluctant to lend his power to Deku. he appears to be the lone holdout at this point, so stay tuned on that, because I don’t doubt this will wind up being crucial to Deku’s future development, however it winds up playing out.

chapter 311

this chapter flips back to the Hawksquad for the first half, so we get a brief respite from the ongoing Dekuangst. right before we switch back though, we do get confirmation of something we had pretty much already guessed:

like, that much was already apparent based on what we’d seen (the bags under his eyes; the fact that he refused to sit still in any one place for very long even at night), but it’s always nice to get the official confirmation so that people can’t dispute it lol. so yeah, Deku isn’t sleeping much. and not eating much either, if all he’s getting is the occasional bento from Dadmight. so basically not taking care of himself at all, huge shocker there. but this is something that’s important enough to the story that Horikoshi took the time to point it out in the dialogue, in addition to all of the visual clues we’d already gotten.

and just in case we needed to drive that point in any further, this chapter ends with the appearance of Lady Nagant! like yeah, no shit Deku isn’t getting much sleep, what with him having to fend off racist civilians and hired assassins every five fucking minutes. smdh. can he live??

chapter 312

so this is the chapter that properly introduces Lady Nagant, who maaaay or may not be one of the primary antagonists of this arc?? like, it’s really unclear right now tbh, but she gets hyped up by Hawks and AFO, and has a flashback and a mysterious past and a weird trump card (where did you go, Overhaul) and all that good shit, so yeah? one can hope at any rate.

but anyway. so to his credit, Deku’s first thought is to retreat, but he quickly abandons that plan once he figures out Nagant’s location. this is played off like a logical strategic decision at first, but the subsequent chapter quickly makes it clear that Deku’s decision to take the fight to Nagant is less rational than he might have you think.

chapter 313

so yeah. last but not least, the most recent chapter, in which Deku’s real reason for targeting Lady soon becomes apparent:

what’s more, it quickly becomes clear that he miscalculated and probably would have been better off following Hawks’s advice, seeing as he promptly gets himself shot, and subsequently realizes that AFO gave Nagant an extra quirk, something he hadn’t taken into account. but instead of cutting his losses and running at this point, he doubles down instead and not only breaks out Smokescreen, but also the Third’s quirk which he has never even used before.

it’s worth noting that both En and the Third start telling him to chill at this point, and warn him that what he’s attempting is too dangerous. but tbh if they were expecting him to listen, they haven’t been reading the same arc I’ve been reading. once again, Horikoshi makes it clear that Deku has one thing and one thing only on his mind right now.

of course. once again it all comes back to this. hunt down AFO. it doesn’t matter that he’s exhausted. it doesn’t matter that he’s just been shot twice. it doesn’t matter that Hawks, despite knowing what Deku was capable of with his OFA abilities, specifically warned him away from this one person only. it doesn’t matter that even the Vestiges are trying to tell him you’re going too fast and you’re trying to do too much and it’s too dangerous.

he just doesn’t care. long story short, the only thing that matters to Deku right now is tracking down and defeating TomurAFO. and as the person who knows him best once so aptly put it, “he doesn’t take himself into account.” and therein lies the major challenge of this arc.

and so this is where we’re currently at now. and this has been a very long post, but if nothing else, I hope I was able to get this one point across: there is absolutely no way that Deku will be able to defeat TomurAFO as he is now. not a chance in hell. somehow he’s managed the uncommon feat of waging a war of attrition against himself, which is really quite an accomplishment. he’s not taking care of himself, and he’s refusing to listen to sound advice from the people surrounding him, and is trying to skip ahead to the final boss battle before he’s ready, because the guilt and pressure from feeling responsible for the current situation are eating him up. the only way that the world can go back to normal is if he can defeat AFO; therefore he has to do it as soon as possible, because time is running out and everyone is counting on him. this is who Deku is. and this is what inevitably happens when his saving mentality is taken to extremes, and left unchecked.

anyway so to wrap up this post now, I do think this arc is a lot more cohesive than it’s gotten credit for thus far, and Deku is the glue holding it all together. I for one am loving the exploration of his character and all the subtle little angsty touches as we build up to the big moment, whenever it finally comes. just keep in mind though that if his decisions right now seem reckless and short-sighted, it’s because they’re supposed to seem that way, because Deku is not in a good mental state right now. the cracks are finally showing in our perfect protagonist, just like everyone has been wanting this whole time. he is just a kid. he is doing his best. he is trying far too hard to do his best, and it is hurting him so badly, but he doesn’t even realize. this arc is not an endorsement of the Angsty Nomad Hero lifestyle, lol. it’s the exact fucking opposite, and I think it’s being wildly misinterpreted with all of the emphasis on “oh look at that, he mastered another quirk with no effort”, as opposed to “oh look at that, he is shutting down emotionally and is a few more missed nights of sleep away from a complete and total breakdown.”

tl;dr the overarching storyline of this arc is all about Deku slowly falling apart due to his trauma from Jakku, and the subsequent pressure that was put on him by the Vestiges with their whole “GUESS WHAT, YOU’RE THE LAST USER OF OFA, THAT’S RIGHT, IT’S ALL ON YOU BUDDY” pep talk. and mark my words, things are not going to go according to plan. something is going to go terribly wrong here. whether it’s something happening to All Might, or AFO setting up a trap for him, either way Deku is being set up to fail in a major way. unless of course, someone (or a group of someones) manages to intervene first, and possibly stage an intervention or something. it’s what he needs right now, but idk if Horikoshi is going to make it that easy.

anyway, but in other words, the point of this arc is not to show how much stronger Deku has gotten and how he doesn’t even need his friends anymore. it’s the exact opposite -- the point of this arc is to show that Deku needs his friends now more than ever. that in spite of OFA and all of its mystical trappings and fancy SIXQUIRKS, Deku can’t do this alone. he needs his friends. that’s the core message. and right now, we are at the “I can get by on my own” part of the story. and the part we are all waiting for, but which is coming -- I guarantee it is coming, you guys -- is “the thing is, you don’t have to.”

and that shit is going to slap hard you guys. and I for one can’t wait. but until then, enjoy the angst.

#bnha 313 #midoriya izuku #bnha meta #deku meta #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #bnha manga spoilers #makeste reads bnha #long post #like 'long' is really an understatement here lol #our little green protagonist is really going through it you guys #and I just have a lot of thoughts and feelings about it

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farthngdr · 3 years ago

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Some Thoughts on “Dead to Rights” by Radio Company

First, if you are not a Cockles truther, you should probably look away. My tinhat is so tight it hurts. Surgical removal has been deemed too risky and would probably result in my demise.

The comments here are entirely mine, as are the assumptions incorporated into my lyrics analysis about real-life people and their relationships. No disrespect is intended. Please do not contact Jensen, Misha, or Danneel about anything you read below, or about anything Cockles-related, because there is absolutely no evidence for anything I am saying here, and their lives are essentially unknown to us.

Thank you.

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She said It all will change If not it all can wait It may die away Over time But I do believe It's better than being alive It's better than being alive It's better than being-

Bombs away Only just begun You want to be the one to say you love The rain-

fall

When all the while the angels call; The only way to see just how it comes to be Every day To know it all falls away.

You had me dead to rights Holding down my chain; You had me dead to rights I got out again; Never been the same.

Song composed by Jensen Ackles and Steve Carlson

No official statement has ever been made by the two songwriters as to who wrote the lyrics, who wrote the music, or if words and/or music were composed by both. I am proceeding on the assumption that Jensen wrote the lyrics. He has mentioned writing lyric ideas on notepads (as shown in the above photo), and so indeed he gives much thought to his lyric-writing process.

In another track from Vol. 2, “City Grown Willow,” a song clearly written by himself, he uses “chain” imagery. Clearly, the concept of the chain resonates for him, whether the chain belongs to his lover, in “City Grown Willow,” or, as in this song, the chain is attached to himself, with the other end being held by the “she” he refers to throughout this lyric.

In addition, a close examination of other tracks by Radio Company share similar lyrical hallmarks as “Dead to Rights”: the invocation of a “she” in “City Grown Willow,” who I maintain is the same “she” as the one here, namely Danneel; “bombs away,” a metaphor for his emotional relationship with the “bomb,” i.e., Misha, recalls “cannonball, rise and fall,” from Vol. 1; other similar MC metaphors are the “fire” from “Jump into the Fire,” and “he stokes the flames ‘cause he is amused by the glow,” from “City Grown Willow.” Other JA lyrical hallmarks can be identified here as well.

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“’Dead to rights’ means having overwhelming evidence of someone's guilt, having irrefutable proof that someone is responsible for something. The idiom ‘dead to rights’ came into use before the 1850s in the United States.”

“’Dead to rights’: In the act of committing an error or crime, red-handed. For example, ‘They caught the burglars dead to rights with the Oriental rugs.’ This phrase uses ‘to rights’ in the sense of ‘at once.’”

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The theme of guilt is embedded in these lyrics--the narrator, JA, is guilty of something, and he was “caught red-handed,” as it were, by someone, the “she” in the song--his wife. The “guilty” act was more, I believe, her intuiting/noticing that her husband was in love with another--early days, perhaps before much had occurred between the two men, but wives are smart, and they can sometimes intuit when their men are in love with another, even before the husbands know themselves.

“She said”---This song focuses on the fact that the narrator’s wife notices instantly--”at once”-- the “act” for which he feels guilty. And she voices it to him--she knows he is in love with another. And she also knows who.

Thus, the “dead to rights” reference--she knew right away when her husband fell in love, and that he either wants to, or already has begun, pursuing a romantic relationship with his love. She “caught him red-handed,” even though a “crime” has not literally occurred, and, most importantly, *she is not angry or judgmental*; rather, she is concerned.

She has thought about it before she confronts him with it. She is philosophical: “It all will change”--that is, this could be a momentary fancy, and if you follow through, everything will change in your life. “if not”--that is, if this is something lasting and substantial--then “it all can wait.” What’s the rush? Why not cool your jets and see if you still feel the same way in a few months? And know too, if you do pursue this, “It may die away over time.” So be careful. Don’t jump into the fire. You could get burned. I don’t want that for you.”

What is his response to her words? He acknowledges to her: “You are right.”

He concedes that everything she says is true. But he has thought about it too. A lot. And he realizes something: “But I do believe it’s better than being alive.” This cryptic line puzzled me initially. “What” is better than being alive? Then one day, after hearing the track a few times, it hit: If the relationship crashes and burns--if it does die, and his heart is destroyed in the flames and ash--then so be it. He has decided that being with this person, jumping into the abyss with him, which could result in his own metaphorical “death,” is exactly what he will do, because “dying” from the possible fallout of a disastrous love affair is preferable to the agony of continuing to live without him.

“You want to be the one to say you love the rain.....fall” --I love the pause here, putting the emphasis on the “fall,” conjuring up the act of falling in love; and also, the possibility of falling to one’s death. And of course, the biblical “fall”--we’re all fallen from grace. He is reminding her that it is she who always says she loves the rain--metaphorically, the rainy days, the times when things aren’t necessarily all sunshine and roses. She understands and accepts life’s gifts and risks. (And we learn in “City Grown Willow” that, in fact, “Her faith in love is better on sunny days.”)

“When all the while the angels call”--I cannot emphasize enough how unequivocally this imagery refers to MC. If I have to explain how many times J has called M an “angel”.....The point being, the angel calling him is impossible for him to ignore, and he just plain doesn’t want to. When an angel calls your name................you go.

“The only way to see just how it comes to be”--a typical Jensen cryptic line, when he wants to say something but doesn’t want to be too revealing, so he does so with the utmost vagueness, to the point where his meaning is almost impossible to decipher. That cryptic line, combined with the rest of the verse, “Every day/To know it all falls away,” strikes me like this: “The only way to know if I should do it or not, is just to do it.” And in the end, he philosophizes, everything falls away in any case--”even you and I will someday be parted.” The idea of mortality--of the limited span of time we inhabit this life--is heavy on his mind. And again, he has made his decision: His love is so deep, so compelling, that he is willing to risk everything--heart and soul--to be with the angel who is calling him.

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ADDENDUM TO MY POST:

Unless Steve Carlson has said publicly that he specifically wrote the *words* to City Grown Willow, I maintain steadfastly that Jensen composed the lyrics. It makes sense that Carlson had written the guitar piece itself, with its beautiful, cascading notes and striking chord progressions, which demonstrate his skill as an instrumentalist. It’s no accident that the recording itself features only Carlson’s playing, with no other instrumental accompaniment--probably exactly the way Jensen first heard it.

Jensen heard Steve play the piece, loved it, and proceeded to write words for it. When Carlson says he played this piece for Jensen and that he had written it years prior, I take that to mean that Jensen loved the sound of the guitar and wanted to work with it.--that the song had no words. The lyrics have the hallmarks of Jensen's writing style; the content fits his situation, with a female and 2 males as the protagonists; and HE is “the man from the mountains.” That’s not Carlson’s identity--that's a moniker Jensen deliberately chose for himself, as he makes clear in the music video.

If anyone can provide for me a direct quote from Carlson that he wrote the words, I will retract my statement. Until then, I hold my position.

#Cockles #Radio Company song #lyrics analysis is a love of mine #no offense is intended and I know nothing about anything #even cryptic lyrics can be deciphered #some people have tremendous grace and I love them #I will never as long as I live measure up to the greatness in these people's hearts

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streetlight11 · 4 years ago

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Birthday Gift

Summary: If you told your younger self 4 years ago that you would be in a happy, long distance relationship with someone who lives miles away from you up till today, your younger self would have laughed at you. But here you are, 4 years later, happy and totally in love with the boy you met online after he randomly followed you on social media. But you've never once met him in person. On your 24th birthday, you were getting a birthday gift that you never thought you would receive so soon.

Theme: long distance relationship au, strangers to lovers

Genre: super fluffy

WC: 2k

Pairing: Bae Jacob x Fem!Reader

a/n: Hello! This has been in my drafts for quite a bit so here it is. This fic is too too fluffy, even for me who wrote this. Cobie is such a sweetheart, I can't-... Anyways, I hope you like this as much as I enjoy writing it! :)

Being in a long distance relationship is difficult as it needs to have a huge amount of trust, understanding, discipline and a lot of reassurance. However, despite all the fights you may have due to miscommunications and most of the time just lack of physical affection, you still cherish and love your boyfriend very much. You met your boyfriend online as he added you on social media a few years back. You clicked on his profile only to see that he lived in South Korea.

He looks to be a professional dancer and also a full time student in one of the colleges there. Not to mention, super good looking too. However, you weren’t really expecting anything at that point of time only because you don’t really believe in long distance relationships. You’ve always thought it might be hard and that it will never last.

So you just accepted his request and followed him back. The next day, you were in class when you got a DM from someone. And since you rarely got a DM from any guys, you were surprised to see his username pop up.

You clicked the message after about 10 minutes or so to see what he texted you, thinking he was just another weirdo who wants to scam you.

His message said;

“Hello! I saw your account and I really love your content. I’m sorry if this is too weird. I understand if you don’t wish to reply.”

With that, you couldn’t help but stifle a laugh as you didn’t know why but you began to type your reply, “Haha thank you! That’s so nice of you to say that.” You hit the send button and a few minutes later, he replied. That’s when you began to chat with him for quite a while before he asked.

“I’m so sorry, where have my manners gone? I’m Bae Joon Young but you can just call me Jacob. And you are?”

You replied to him with a smile as your fingers tapped against your smartphone, “I’m Y/F/N but you can call me Y/N.”

Ever since then, you have been chatting with him over DMs for quite a while, just to see if you can sort of trust and be comfortable with him or not. It took you almost 5 months to finally add him in your kakao talk.

Both of you have already done both voice and video call which means you already knew how each other looked and you seemed to have grown your trust in him. Jacob seemed like a genuine guy as you found out that he was your age internationally. Months became years and both of you have already introduced your partners to your parents.

However, at first, your parents weren’t too sure about this whole long distance relationship thing. But they didn’t want to disappoint you so instead of asking you to break up and find a local guy, they let you carry on with this relationship if you believe that it would work. Surprisingly, it took your parents less than a month to get warm with Jacob as they finally got comfortable every time he video calls you.

It has been 4 years since you two agreed to pursue this long distance relationship as it marks your 4th anniversary today. You were just lounging in your room when Jacob decided to skype call you through his desktop.

You accepted the call as he smiled adorably into the camera and waved to you, making you giggle as you waved back. “Happy anniversary baby.” Jacob said.

“Happy anniversary my love. Where are you?” You asked.

“I’m in my dorm. Younghoon’s out with our friends.”

“Why aren’t you with them?” You pout.

“I wanted to celebrate our anniversary.”

“Baby, you didn’t have to, you could have called me after.”

“Don’t you want to see me?” He asked sadly.

“Of course I do. It’s just… I feel like I might be the reason why you may not hang out with your friends as often as you do.”

“Baby, listen to me. I’m so lucky to have you as my girlfriend, dang am I lucky to have you reply to my message 4 years ago. I never thought that we could actually last this long but hey, look at us now.” You smiled as you looked down at your hands, only to look back up and see him pout.

“I love you so much, you know that right? And I can never ask for someone to replace you.” He said, making you sigh.

“What did I ever do to deserve you?” You asked softly, making him chuckle.

“How I wish I could enter my computer screen and just hug you and kiss you.” He whispered, making you smile sadly, knowing that could never happen, or at least it wouldn’t happen any time soon. You continue talking to him until you fall asleep, making him chuckle softly at your figure. Looking at you through his monitor screen endearingly.

“Goodnight my sweetheart.” He said those last words softly before he ended the call.

Days slowly became weeks and it was the same routine again and again but neither of you were getting bored or tired from it. He would always reassure you that he still loves you and that he would never hurt your feelings in any possible way. It was your birthday that day and your parents had booked a restaurant for you to celebrate and have your birthday dinner with your family, like how it has always been for the past few years.

It would be you, both your parents, your elder sister and her husband along with your 5 years old niece.

You chose to wear a white floral blouse with a pair of denim jeans as you paired it with your heeled sandals. You were in the car with your parents, on your way to the restaurant when Jacob voice called you.

“Hello?” He said.

“Hi Love.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m heading to a restaurant with my family for my birthday dinner. What about you?”

“Oh wow. Where to, this time? I’m just out with the boys.”

“I honestly don’t know. They didn’t tell me.” You laughed as your mother then smiled and spoke up from the front passenger seat.

“Hello dear. How are you sweetie?”

With that, you scooted to the centre of the back seat and put your call on speaker mode. Just then, you heard Jacob respond. “Hello Ma’am, I’m doing well. I wish I could be there to celebrate with all of you.” Jacob said, making you smile sadly as your parents let out a soft chuckle.

“It’s okay son, one of these days, you’ll get to meet our daughter and us.” Your dad said as you could already hear a smile etching on Jacob’s lips.

“Yes sir. I hope so.” Your boyfriend said before you giggled as you turned the speaker mode back off before bringing your phone to your ears. “Hmm, babe I think we’re here. I’ll call you again after dinner okay?” You said into the line.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t worry. Have fun tonight. I love you.”

“I love you too…” You paused for a moment as he waited for you to continue.

“I miss you Jacob.” You couldn’t help but whisper as a tear rolled down your cheek, making him frown.

“Baby please don’t cry. Promise me you won’t cry.” He said, making you nod as you sniffled your cries.

“I’ll try.” You said as you then bid him goodbye before ending the call.

Your sister had already arrived as you and your parents went to the front entrance where a waiter was waiting. Your dad told him that they’ve already made a reservation under your dad’s name as the waiter checked his list and soon smiled at the three of you. “Right this way.” The waiter said as he soon guided you towards the back of the restaurant where there were private rooms with opaque curtains to block the view of those sitting inside.

You were walking last as you texted your boyfriend in the process.

Once you were at the booth, your dad asked you to enter first, in which you got confused but nonetheless did as you were told. However, the minute you pushed the curtains open, your eyes immediately landed on the one person sitting at the very end of the table nearest to the entrance.

You felt your whole body freeze as you couldn’t find the right words. He was there, right in front of you, in one piece. It was him. It was your boyfriend. He was really there physically. You couldn’t believe this.

“Wha- I- When… Omg… Omg…” You whispered as everyone laughed, only for Jacob to chuckle as he got up, making you feel so flustered.

“Happy Birthday my love.” He said, as he walked up to you but you were still frozen in shock.

“Surprise!” Your family said in unison happily.

You locked eyes with Jacob as he engulfed you in a hug. That’s when you began to bawl your eyes out against his shoulder as you could finally feel his arms around your body, holding you tight as though he was afraid of losing you. Jacob laughed softly as he let you cry into his shoulder, while he gently rubs soothing circles in your back to calm you down.

You had your arms wrapped around his waist securely, afraid that if you let go, he would disappear. “Shh, don’t cry baby. Don’t cry.” He whispered in your ear, only for you to cry harder. He laughed even more as your mother and sister were already tearing up at the side.

You pull away from him as he gently wipes your tears with his thumbs. “You’re here… You’re actually here…” You whispered, your breath shaky as he nodded, cupping your face softly in his hands. “Yes love. I’m here. I’m really here.” Jacob said, making you pout. Still unable to believe this was real.

Jacob smiled widely as he pulled you into a hug again, only for you to bury your face in his chest, feeling him draw lazy patterns into your waist. After nearly 30 minutes of you holding onto him and being in your own little bubble, the 7 of you finally settled down to celebrate your birthday dinner. After dinner was over, your parents offered Jacob to stay over at your family home for the next two weeks that he is staying here in your country before he flies back to Korea.

Jacob thanked your parents for letting him stay over as you couldn’t stop holding his hand. The way his hands fit in yours so perfectly as he showered you with so much love and warmth, just like how he did through all the video calls and texts.

That night when everyone had gone home, your parents knew that you probably wanted to spend time with him so they let him sleep in your room.

After both of you had already changed and were getting ready for bed, he pulled you onto his side as you rested your head on his chest. Jacob hugs you close as you tighten your grasp on his shirt. “What’s wrong?” He asked as he glanced down a little.

“I’m just so happy you’re here. I still need time to process this information.” You confessed.

Jacob chuckled softly as he whispered, “I’m really happy to be able to finally see you in person. This means so much to me.”

“Me too.”

Just then, the room fell quiet as you just looked into each other’s eyes, seeing the sparkles coating both your pupils as he gently caressed your cheek. Right at that moment, Jacob seemed to read your mind as he gently pulled you up a little. Without much words, Jacob decides to ask the one question that both of you had in mind.

“Can I kiss you?”

With that, you smiled shyly as you nodded. Jacob smiles in victory as he leans down softly to finally feel your soft lips on his and it has never felt so magical. Both of you took in this new feeling as he kissed you sweetly.

You spent the next two weeks with him, just making the most of your time. A month after he went back to Korea, it was your turn to give him a surprise visit as you managed to book a flight to Korea, asking for Jacob’s help to fetch you at the airport and bring you over to his apartment.

You stayed with Jacob for two days before surprising Jacob for his birthday party. Jacob did such a good job at taking care of you and making sure that you weren’t lost in Korea.

Despite the long distance, it definitely made you two grow stronger and gain even more trust in one another. It was a blessing in disguise that you accepted his request 4 years ago.

And you regretted none of it.

~~~

#the boyz scenarios #the boyz jacob #the boyz joonyoung #the boyz jacob scenarios #the boyz jacob imagines #tbz jacob #tbz joonyoung #tbz joonyoung scenarios #tbz joonyoung imagines #tbz fluff #tbz jacob fluff #jacob bae

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sr-talks-snk · 4 years ago

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Soundtrack Choices for Levi vs. Zeke, Round 3, SNK Episode 73

Okay ... I've seen a few people on twitter complaining about the choice of soundtracks for this episode when it comes to the Levi vs. Zeke fight. So ... I loved them. I literally screamed hearing both - all the callbacks to Season 3 part 1 & 2 ... Which we already know is going to be important if we look at two of the previously/scheduled coloured chapters Isayama himself chose: 81 - Levi's first round with Zeke, and 69 - Kenny's backstory with Uri Reiss, as well as big Levi and Historia moments.

Okay, callbacks ... but how? And more importantly, why?

Let's start with Before Lights Out & Chapter 81.

These two link together because chapter 81 of the manga contained the result of the suicide charge, the beast titan fight, and Levi's promise - with the chapter literally being titled 'Promise'. In the anime, the soundtrack paired with the suicide charge is the instrumental version of Before Lights Out.

Considering in the newest episode, we have Levi thinking of his promise to Erwin again, and hoping that he may be able to finally fulfil it, it actually makes sense to re-use this piece of music from the original suicide charge as Levi stares into the eyes of what were once his comrades, and prepares to slice them to pieces in order to pursue Zeke.

Wait ... so then, Levi really is cutting down his men all in the name of revenge, to fulfil his promise to Erwin?

Not exactly. While the vow absolutely is something Levi wishes to fulfil, I believe there's more at play here. What's giving him the resolve to push through this dreadful event isn't simply a thirst for revenge or a need to keep a promise to his fallen mentor and friend.

In Attack on Titan: Chronicle, we actually have the version of Before Lights Out with vocals played over the Levi vs. Zeke fight.

Here are the lyrics:

Freedom! Freedom! Forgive Me! Retake Maria! Victorious, triumphant! All of my kingdom For your return I will let it burn! I will let it burn! Dear departed I’ll cry for you in a dream Now I must rise to be queen Be worthy Be worthy

This doesn't really fit with Levi or even Erwin's POV, but more ... Historia's? But what does Historia have to do with any of this?

Well. I'm not going to get into a big analysis on the manga side of things here, that's a whole other post, but we had Levi's entire dialogue about Historia, her pregnancy, and the idea of turning her into a titan cut from the episode (or moved), leaving a lot of manga readers scratching their heads. So was it not important? Well, yeah, it was. But I think it was misinterpreted by too many people, so instead, it was cut or moved. Historia is absolutely important to Levi's story, because their families are intertwined. I'll go further, too, and say that Historia is as much a key part of Levi's underlying motivations when it comes to his relationship with the Beast Titan as Erwin and his vow are.

The second soundtrack used in this scene only serves to cement this idea of Historia's importance to Levi's arc. Let's look at where K-21 was used previously in the anime ...

We have the initial fight between Levi and Kenny, during the pursuit in Trost where Levi and the squad end up losing Eren and Historia after giving chase. The second occasion is in the cavern beneath the Reiss Chapel, where again, Levi confronts Kenny in a bid to rescue Eren and Historia.

Mikasa is also present in both of these chases, her driving factor being Eren.

Two Ackermans on the same team. Two targets to acquire.

Kenny, their older relative, the obstacle in the way as they try to save their charges from the fate of Historia’s ancestry and the Titans.

Just like Zeke is Historia's older relative, is linked with the prospect of her becoming a Titan, and the obstacle in the way of her future.

K-21 plays again in episode 73 because Levi is once again fighting for Historia's future.

K-21 has been described as literally Kenny's theme, too, so it might also be interesting to draw some parallels between the lyrics and Kenny's position in Season 3 vs. Levi's position now.

Got the ear of Royalty

Kenny described himself as the 'Reiss' dog.' He fought for the crown as part of the Interior MPs after re-connecting his bloodline with the crown and gaining Uri's trust, moving past the old family feud. He was working for Rod when the soundtrack was used initially. So then, can we assume that Levi is working with or to protect Historia - the next generations of Reiss and Ackerman now paired once again - as he pursues Zeke in that forest?

If you look at it this way, suddenly the soundtrack choices make such perfect sense, it hurts. When manga chapter 139 comes out, people are going to look back at this scene and go OH.

One more small thing I noticed from the scene ...

When Levi blew up Zeke's nape, visually it felt like a call back to the scene where Historia defeats her father with the way the chunks of flesh flew through the air.

We've seen apparent call backs to this in recent manga chapters too, during the moment Levi takes out Zeke by severing his head. The nature of his movements and his reaction seem to mirror Historia's.

These two are ABSOLUTELY connected, there's no doubt in my mind.

#SNK episode 73 #levi vs the beast titan #snk manga spoilers #Historia Reiss #Levi Ackerman #Kenny Ackerman #snk season 4 #SNK season 4 soundtrack #before lights out #k-21

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soranihimawari · 3 years ago

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Choosing You

Bokuto Koutaro is about to make a mistake by marrying someone who made him choose between a childhood friend and her. Luckily for him, he realizes who he wants to be with days before the ceremony.

Rating: pg-13 for themes taken from a rom-com viewpoint.

Word Count: tba

Anything to note?: this was a fun prompt I saw on a generator.

“I choose her.”

These three words were the ones that changed your life the night of a dress rehearsal for a wedding you were trying to avoid attending. You weren’t sure if the bride had even wanted you present since you and the groom were close since childhood. The argument about whether or not you should be there to witness this momentous occasion had been going on since the last couple of months leading up to the wedding. Envelopes were sent, catering packages were ordered, and even the reception hall had been booked.

The rehearsal dinner was to take place three days before the big day. You, at the request of the best man, had been added as a surprise plus one a few weeks prior. No one else in the bridal party knew you were going to attend and although the groom truly wanted you to be there, he realized you had pushed away any and all invitations dealing with the nuptials. Nonetheless, here you were in a modest three-quarter sleeved dress standing at the open bar, listening to speech after speech congratulating the picture-perfect couple.

What you didn’t know though was the behind the scenes bickering between the fiancés when it came to seeing you at the place. You swished your alcohol in the glass before taking a few more sips. The dinner was about to be served and you were sure you’d be able to get through it. After all, it’s been several years since you’ve seen your childhood friend from Tokyo be this happy. You reminisce about the day your phone rang with the name ‘Bokkun’ lighting up your screen; you listen to him rant and go on about this young lady he saw at the park where he jogs right before the MSBY morning practice. You were at home on your day off when you offered some advice although you find the resolve within yourself to tell him to pursue dating her. That morning was almost six years ago and it was the beginning of the distance you two would soon create.

Honestly, you didn’t think you’d get an invitation, but when you did, you knew you had lost. You don’t send the RSVP card back to the original senders. Thankfully,several nights ago, if the best man hadn’t called you, you were sure you’d have sent a congratulatory message to the groom in your own time. Also, huge brownie points to the same best man who added you his plus one the second he found out you threw away the invite.

“You did what?!” Akaashi practically yells into the receiver of his landline. He ran his hand exasperatedly through his hair.

“I had to throw it away. I couldn’t be reminded every day that Kou chose that demon for a bride,” you spat back. You and the bride were as opposite as night and day; you were always there in the past to cheer up the boisterous fellow and even on their worst fights, you made him go back to her and apologize. She confides in your dear friend she feels threatened by you because of the closeness you shared, so when Bokuto starts to avoid hanging out with you deliberately, you let it happen.

“Listen, the ceremony’s in a few months, I’ll talk to Bokuto-San and tell him I’m bringing a plus one: you. So you better be ready,” Akaashi says before hanging up without giving you time to reply.

Currently, you were just about to get another refill on your drink when you heard the groom gather the attention of the conjoined family and friends group. You knew the young man was either about to make a fool of himself or at the very least, make a heart-warming speech about how he couldn’t wait to spend literal eternity on earth with his fiancée. What you didn’t expect was a declaration of love aimed toward you.

The ringing chime of glassware calls everyone to draw their conversations to a close while one brave man decided to declare something a majority of the groomsmen knew about. The scowl on the bride’s face should have been a great hint, however you were on the third gin and tonic that night, so this was going to hit you differently.

“There is going to be no wedding. At least not between my new ex and I,” your friend begins. You nearly choke on your drink while there are audible gasps coming from the crowd. The groomsmen on his side seemed somewhat relieved their friend had finally seen the light. The bartender asked if you were ok, you agree. You place the glass back on the small bar table behind you, your ears listening to the various reasons why your friend is calling off the wedding. All of them were mainly shortcomings of the bride, but the main reason why was a startling one (at least to you when you thought your feelings were one-sided).

“…The main reason why is because she made me choose between her and my favorite first-first love,” he affectionately says. He seemed kind of embarrassed that it took him literal years for him to figure this one out on his own, but nonetheless, he seemed pretty fearless by this confession. Those golden amber eyes of his hyper fixated on you like you were the only being he ever needed.

“I choose her,” he concludes, raising an empty champagne flute toward the sky. “A thousand times over.”

Your cheeks are warm with a mixture of embarrassment and joy; you feel like you’re floating, but before you do, you head out of the side door of the banquet hall. This act of confession was by far the most extra thing you could think Bokuto could have done, so your feet guide you outside to the city streets where you walk aimlessly with a smile on your face. Your heels clack on the concrete until you hear hurried footsteps behind you. Your dress swishes as you command your feet to stop moving. Both of you stop moving, yet you are at arms’ length away before either of you speak.

“You’re insane,” your voice shakes with nerves. “H-how’re you going to explain that stunt you just pulled?”

Bokuto stands in front of you with the brightest reassuring smile he could muster, his cheeks a bit flushed from the short sprint he did to catch up to you.

“Easy,” he begins. “I don’t love her; I love you. ‘M sorry took me forever to figure that out.”

You fold your arms over your chest before you invade his personal space and you let him have a piece of your mind. You recall the many times you have proved you loved him and the several times you tried to push down your emotions including the one time Akaashi found out your once one sided love for his friend.

“You did all that and I was too absorbed in trying to continue to be the best version of myself that I left you alone,” Bokuto says, gently gripping your shoulders. “I promise I won’t do that ever again.”

“You better not, Kou,” you truthfully state. A sigh escapes your lips as you ask him what his plans are now since the wedding was called off.

“Well, first thing’s first,” he leans down to kiss your cheek. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do.”

You giggle and agree right before you make sure his lips don’t miss yours; you cradle his face in your hands and his finds their way on your waist. Your eyes flutter close the moment your lips touch. In that kiss,there was sweetness of passion, a million loving thoughts condensed into a moment. He pulls away first, resting his forehead against yours. Bokuto calls you his patient lover and for the first time in a long time both of you bask in the presence of a warm Tokyo night.

#🌻— flying around collecting pollen—queue #haikyuu x reader #bokuto x reader

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mythicalsecretsanta · 4 years ago

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12 Days of Christmas... Almost (E)

This gift is for: Cal (AKA @mythicalamity) Surprise! Keeping this secret from you for the last month wasn’t easy! Thank you for being the kindest, most loving friend I’ve ever had in this fandom and for being a pretty spectacular person in the real world as well. Merry Christmas, Cal! From your Secret Santa, @fanbabble

Link to AO3, or read below:

The Holiday season was in full swing at Mythical, as much as it could be at least. The virus had put quite a damper on festive activities across the world and Myth Ent was no exception. There were lights strung up and a Christmas tree, but there would be no company Christmas party this year, no cookie exchange, no getting together at each other’s homes for dinner parties or gift swaps. The mood in the office was a little low and Link found himself looking for ways to encourage positivity and the good feelings of the season. That’s why when Stevie suggested a secret santa gift exchange, Link took the idea and ran with it. Employees would play secret santa leaving their secret giftee presents for the 12 days leading up to Christmas. Not only would this game bring a bit of fun into the office, but it could also be done safely as social distancing was a literal part of the rules. You couldn’t reveal your identity to your giftee until the final day of the exchange. It was perfect!

Rhett was less than excited about the prospect. He complained to Link about not wanting to participate. He was nervous he wouldn’t know what to get the person he chose or how to keep the secret. Rhett’s enneagram three-ness was getting in the way of him enjoying himself again. He was worrying too much about impressing the person he got, rather than letting himself relax and have fun with the idea. Link finally convinced his friend to participate.

“How would it look if one of the owners of the company didn’t play along?”

“Fine. But if my gifts turn out to be duds and ruin someone’s Christmas it’s your fault!” Rhett said as he stood to join Link and walk down the hall to the Mythical kitchen for the name exchange.

Chase mixed the names of everyone in a Santa hat. The in-office folks would be in one drawing and the staff who were working virtually would draw amongst themselves. In all there were about 15 names in the hat that Chase held shut in his grasp. The group took turns reaching their hands in to pick a slip of paper with their giftees name written on it. The PAs went first, followed by the camera men, then the directors, followed by Chase, Stevie, and finally Rhett and Link.

Rhett stuck his hand into the Santa hat. His gaze was trained on the little opening.

“No peekin’!!” Link smacked his arm and scolded him.

“I’m not! Besides There’s literally only one name left in the hat, Link.”

The kitchen filled with the crew’s laughter.

“Can’t exactly pick and choose who I want, man.”

Rhett glanced at his friend and then looked at the little slip of paper. The apples of his cheeks became more obvious as a small smile spread across his face. He grasped the paper close to his chest and then tucked it into the pocket of his jeans.

Everyone in the kitchen celebrated the exchange with a cupcake whipped up by the Mythical Kitchen and then retreated back to their personal space to finish up the day’s work.

Before the office door was even fully shut Link was in Rhett’s space.

“Who’d ya get?”

“What?! I’m not telling you. It’s not fair.” Rhett sat down in his office chair and opened his laptop.

“Come on, Bo. Tell me. I got…”

“STOP” Rhett put his hands up to his ears as if to block out what Link was about to reveal. “I don’t wanna hear it. Let’s do this right. Keep it a secret.”

“Since when do you care about keeping this kinda stuff secret? You usually can’t wait to tell me everything and anything,” Link was teetering on the fine edge between annoyed and amused.

“Well this year is different. If this is one of the only ways the company gets to celebrate then I wanna do it right.”

“Fine,” Link huffed. He flopped down on the leather couch and draped his arm over his eyes. “You don’t want to tell me, that’s your business, but don’t come begging for gift ideas when you come up dry.” And with that healthy dose of snark the smaller man settled in for an afternoon nap.

The next day Link walked into their office and threw his jacket over the back of the gray chair that sat by the door. He put his backpack on the floor by his desk and was just about to head to the office kitchen for a cup of coffee when he noticed a box sitting by his desk lamp. He picked it up and examined it.

“Dang, my santa must get here early.”

It was only 7 AM and Link had just arrived to an empty building. The box was wrapped in shiny green paper and tied with an elegant red bow. He turned it over in his hands looking for some kind of tag or label. When he found nothing, Link slipped the ribbon from the package and pulled off the lid. Inside was a perfect golden pear tucked into a pillow of soft fabric. Link wasn’t sure what to do with the gift so he sniffed it to confirm it was a real piece of fruit. He lifted the pear out of the box and saw that a small note was hidden underneath. He held the pear in one hand and opened the slip of paper with the other.

“On the first day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me,

A partridge in a pear tree”

-You may be a “sweet peach” but I think we’d make a great “pear” Love, Your secret admirer

Link read over the note three times before he could totally comprehend what it said. He turned it over to look for any kind of identifying mark or signature. There was nothing to be found. He blushed hard and tucked the note into his pocket. It had been a long time since he had had anyone in his life, much less a Love, but he knew no one at Mythical felt that way about him and even if they did it would be totally unethical to pursue anything. Link was sure it was just some kind of joke by one of the writers and tucked the green box into his backpack before heading off to get his coffee.

When Rhett came in half an hour later, he was all nervous energy and talking 90 miles a minute. He said it was because he had almost gotten into a car accident on the way in. He had found his Secret Santa gift sitting on the back of the toilet in the bathroom and showed it to Link.

“It’s gotta be Jordan, man,” Rhett said as he held out the bag for Link to inspect, “Who else would give me a bag of cotton candy?”

Link peeked inside the gift bag and said, “Seems kinda obvious, but it’s possible.” He couldn’t help but let his thoughts wander back to the little green box he had received and the love note that it contained.

“Earth to Link,” Rhett took the bag back and set it on his desk. “You alright man?”

Link shook his head to clear his mind and refocus on the man before him. “Oh yeah, sorry. Must need more coffee.” He held up his empty mug and headed toward the office door.

As he reached for the doorknob, Rhett asked quietly, “Did you get your first gift yet?”

Link paused and laughed without looking back, “Yeah, pair of socks. Womp womp,” then he headed out the door.

Over the course of the next few days, Link continued to receive themed gifts from his Secret Santa that left him giddy and baffled at the same time. The first two were silly, Turtle and Dove chocolates for Day 2 and three fried chicken legs for Day 3. They were both accompanied by notes that talked about how much the gifter liked Link and they were both signed “Love, Your secret admirer.” Link still wasn’t sure what to make of the declarations, but he played along and let himself feel special for the moment. Even if he was still convinced it was all a joke. Until Day 4 that is.

On Day 4 Link walked into the office late to find a small book tied up with a ribbon. “Native birds of the National Parks” The gift was incredibly thoughtful and one that he would definitely use on future adventures. A folded piece of paper was tucked inside the chapter about Denali National Park. It read,

“On the fourth day of Christmas,

My true love gave to me,

Four calling birds”

- Bird calls are beautiful, but the idea of calling you mine is even better. Love, Your secret admirer

Link opened the book again to the page about the birds of Denali. There was only one person he had ever told about wanting to visit the park covered in glaciers and snow. Rhett. Could his secret admirer be Rhett? Link’s head swam with the possibility.

He had been in love with his best friend for most of his life, but he had kept it hidden away out of fear of losing the one person in the world who was most important to him. Surely, Rhett was not the person who was his Secret Santa. Link felt a burst of warmth spread across his chest as he let himself entertain the idea for a moment. What would it be like to finally feel those arms around his body? To finally kiss Rhett’s lips? To own his heart as well as his friendship?

As he stood there lost in his own thoughts, the man in question came barreling into the office. Link stuffed the book into his desk drawer and turned quickly to face his friend.

“Hey, Rhett, how’s it going?”

Link did his best to maintain his cool. He watched his friend as he moved about the office getting settled for the day. He assessed his behavior for any clues or signs that he might be the “Secret Santa Secret Admirer.”

“Pretty good. I added some new reps to my workout and now my abs are killing me.” Rhett rubbed his hand across his stomach. His t-shirt pulled taught and drew Link’s eye to the spot. Link felt his breath catch from the promise of what was underneath. His eyes roamed over the broad chest and thick arms. The way the shirt sleeves hugged Rhett’s biceps was criminal. Link knew he would have to control his thirst better if he hoped to get any hints about what role Rhett actually played in all of this. He cleared his throat and got a hold of himself.

“What time did you get here this morning?” Link asked as casually as he could. He fiddled with the monitor on his computer to appear slightly uninterested in Rhett’s response.

“What? Just now. You saw me walk in.”

“I thought maybe you came in and left again.”

Rhett turned and opened his laptop. He busied himself with things on his desk while it booted up.

“Nope. Just rolled in.”

“Oh cool,” Link paused before adding, “How’s your secret santa going?”

Rhett reached for a pen and knocked his coffee mug off balance spilling yesterday’s brown stuff over his desk and onto his lap.

“Shit!”

Link jumped up and grabbed the roll of paper towels he kept by his desk. He pulled off a handful and held them out to Rhett.

“Can you clean this up for me, Buddyroll? I have to go over to wardrobe and find some different pants to wear or I’ll smell like an old coffee pot all day.” Rhett grabbed the towels and dabbed at the wet spot that stretched across his thighs.

“Yeah, go ahead. I got this.” Link began to mop up the spilled coffee as Rhett headed out the door. His interrogation would have to wait for another day.

Days 5 and 6 were once again oddly funny gifts. If Rhett was the secret admirer it would make sense because he was the funniest person Link knew. A lifetime of laughter with Rhett had been the tradeoff for hiding the fact that he loved the man immensely. The idea that his love might be returned was more than Link had ever let himself hope for.

The notes included with the gifts were just as tender as the previous ones. Day 5’s onion rings were accompanied by a slip that described Link as “more valuable than a golden ring” and day 6’s half dozen eggs had a note that read “You are a good egg, who makes my heart happy.”

Link enjoyed the sentiment, but nothing struck him as particularly suspicious. Day 7 was, however, a game changer.

That morning as Link walked past the dark studio a glimmer caught his eye. He set his backpack and Jade down and walked onto the GMM set where he found a string of origami paper birds strung together on a piece of gold silk ribbon. The swans were hanging across the back of the set from wall to wall. There must have been at least 50. Each bird’s wings was dipped in silver glitter and twinkled in the low light giving the set a magical air. Link stood back and took in the beauty.

When he looked closer he saw each swan was made of sheet music. Link held one small bird in his fingers gently and examined it. He would recognize those chords anywhere. It was Merle. These paper swans were made with sheet music of Merle Haggard’s song, “Always Wanting You.”

“This has to be a gift,” Link whispered to himself.

Link held his breath, afraid if he moved he would scare away the one idea he wanted to be true most in the world. That his secret santa was not only Rhett, but that the man was in love with him as well.

A larger piece of paper flapped at the end of the string of birds. Link grabbed it and saw that his name was indeed on the front of the folded slip. He opened it and read:

“On the seventh day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Seven swams a swimming”

- Like Merle said, “Always wanting you, but never having you makes it hard to face tomorrow.” Love, Your Secret Admirer

Link couldn’t believe what he was reading. This had to be confirmation that Rhett was his secret admirer and secret santa. Jade sniffed at his shoes as if she were looking for the answer to a question he didn’t know. Link gently took the chain of birds down, gathered his things, and headed back to his office.

When he opened the door, he was surprised to see the big man sitting at his desk already. He was speaking loudly on the phone about a new project they were working on.

“No, damn it. I don’t want to cut that part! I purposely included it to help the flow of the story.”

Rhett’s voice bounced off the brick walls. His tone was harsh. Link thought better of questioning him right now and tucked the birds into his backpack. He sat back on the couch and opened his laptop for the day. Jade snuggled into Link’s side and he petted her head mindlessly. His thoughts were only of Rhett. As he waited for his computer to boot up, Link watched Rhett.

“It has to be him. Who else would use Merle?” Link thought to himself, “Oh you’re being an idiot. Everyone knows you love Merle Haggard, dummy. It could be anybody.”

Link sunk down into the leather cushions and sulked. Not knowing for certain was exhausting. Only 5 more days to figure out this mystery. He glanced down at the paper swans one more time and smiled softly.

Day 8 brought a bottle of chocolate milk and a note that read, “You’re the milk to my cookie”

Link drank it in front of Rhett at lunch to see if he would get a reaction. Nothing. Well, with the exception of the way those green eyes sparkled when he belly laughed at a joke or the way Rhett put his hand on Link’s back as they left the office to head to record an episode of Ear Biscuits. Link noticed those things, but he couldn’t be sure if they were a reaction to the milk or to being close to Link in general.

Link had caught Rhett in a lingering gaze more than once since the Seven Swans gift. And when they were alone together it felt like a spark was fizzing between the two of them. Something was going on, Link was sure of it. He just needed a little more proof before he could confront Rhett. His friendship was entirely too valuable to risk on an assumption.

On day 9, Link climbed into the driver’s seat of his car. He reached down to grab his sunglasses and was surprised to find something extra resting on the console. It was an old school cassette tape. Just like the kind he and Rhett used to exchange in high school. They would spend hours making the tapes and then driving down the back roads listening to their creations and singing at the top of their lungs. If he was honest, those times were when he first fell in love with Rhett.

Link flipped the cassette over in his palm. On the outside of the case where the album art would usually be, was his name. Link immediately recognized it as Rhett’s handwriting. He opened the case and found a piece of paper folded in fourths tucked inside. It read:

“On the ninth day of Christmas

My true love gave to me

Nine ladies dancing.”

- I kept trying to find a funny pun for this day, but all I could focus on was singing these songs with you as we drove down the highway in North Carolina. I’ve tried to hold out to the end of the 12 days, but this secret is an old one and I don’t want to keep quiet anymore. If you feel the same, find me in the office at work and tell me. If not just toss this cassette in the trash and pretend it never happened. Love, Your Secret Admirer

Link was quiet for a moment and then, “Rhett! It’s Rhett! He loves me!” Link yelled at nobody in particular. Just saying the words out loud made him feel less like it was all a dream and more like it was real life. He threw his things into the passenger’s seat. In his flustered state he tried to check the time on his sunglasses and put his phone on his nose. He shifted into reverse and sped down the block.

Link’s heart was pounding in his chest. He was breaking every speed limit on the way into Burbank, but he did not care. Let a cop try and stop him now, nothing could keep him from getting to Rhett. Link pulled into the parking lot in record time and he bolted out of his car and through the studio doors. He was running at full speed back to the office he shared with Rhett. His Rhett. Link took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

The office was empty. Where was he? Link knew he didn’t pass him on the way through the building. He stood still for a moment and wrung his hands trying to think of what to do next. Just when he was starting to worry that Rhett had panicked and ran, he heard footsteps coming down the stairs of their loft.

Link watched as Rhett appeared slowly, first feet, then legs, torso, and finally that glorious head of hair.

“Link…”

Rhett barely got the word out before the smaller man was launching himself across the office and into his arms. He melted into the embrace and pulled Link tighter against him. They took just a moment to look into each other’s eyes before their lips met. The kiss was strong and full of promise. Link opened his mouth to deepen the kiss and the passion kicked in. Rhett lifted Link up with his hands under the smaller man’s thighs and carried him to the couch.

They pressed heated kisses into skin and hair. Marking their love on the other’s body wherever they could find purchase. Hands roamed pulling hair and grabbing biceps. And when Rhett laid Link down on their couch and pressed his body to the cradle of Link’s hips there was no denying that both men were hard with desire already.

Link gasped with the sensation of being so close to Rhett. The feeling of his hard cock pressed against Rhett’s made his head swim and he pulled back to catch a breath. Rhett took the opportunity to say something he’d been holding in for decades.

“I love you. I love you. I love you.”

Each declaration was punctuated with a kiss. Link’s collar bones, his neck, his temple.

Link pulled Rhett close and whispered into his ear, “I’ve loved you my whole life.”

It was all the permission Rhett needed. He worshiped Link’s body and rocked against him until they were both finishing in their jeans like teenagers. Sticky and satisfied the pair laid together on the couch exchanging lazy kisses and gentle touches. Trying to make up for all the lost time they denied themselves.

Link was half asleep and half in awe of the way Rhett looked. He laid silently and listened to Rhett as he said, “I can’t believe it worked. I thought for sure you’d throw the cassette away.”

Link ran his fingers through Rhett’s curls gently.

“You doubted me? Haven’t you figured it out yet, Bo? All you have to do is be the brave one and I’ll follow your lead.” He placed a kiss on Rhett’s tshirt right about his heart. “Thanks for being the brave one.” Rhett kissed the top of Link’s head and grunted in affirmation.

Link snuggled into Rhett’s chest and closed his eyes. Just as he was about to doze off the smaller man popped up and looked Rhett in the eye.

“Don’t think just because you love me, you’re getting out of giving me gifts. I have three days left and I want my secret presents.” Link flashed his crooked grin and poked at Rhett’s side.

Rhett let out a booming ho-ho-ho laugh before pulling Link back down against his chest.

“You can have anything you want, Link. Diamonds, rubies. I don’t need any presents though because I’ve already got the most valuable gift of the season… you.”

#mythical secret santa 2020 #type: fic #rating: E #gift swap #rhink #submission

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dreamingofscully · 5 years ago

Photo

MOVIE: “The X-Files: Fight the Future” - X-Files Rewatch

"Why did they assign me to you in the first place, Mulder? To debunk your work, to rein you in, to shut you down." - Scully "But you saved me! As difficult and as frustrating as it's been sometimes, your goddamned strict rationalism and science have saved me a thousand times over! You've kept me honest ... you've made me a whole person. I owe you everything ... Scully, and you owe me nothing. I don't know if I wanna do this alone... I don't even know if I can ... and if I quit now, they win." - Mulder

Seeing XF in theatres. The black screen, and suddenly the theme music, the oil, the Title on screen. One of the best moments of my life.

How do we go from the devastation of "The End" to the happy, jokey Mulder and Scully at the beginning of the movie?

I have some ideas, which are currently in development.

"Mulder, it's me." First line. ❤️

Introducing the characters to a new audience: Scully as the rational one, Mulder "playing a hunch".

Joking with each other, incredible banter and UST. Such a wonderful team.

They are in a good place here.

Mulder hitting something when frustrated.

SCULLY IS BADASS LISTEN TO HER!!

Standing beside each other when they get into the snack room with the bomb,

Scully grabbing Mulder, yelling at him to leave.

He has a sense something's wrong. His self-sacrificing nature, doesn't care about his danger.

Scully in the meeting, Mulder's late. 😥

That they cover for each other. Blaming themselves for what happened and not wanting the other to take any responsibility. (Mulder would have been lying to protect Scully here. When the SAC ordered M&S to leave him, against regulations, Scully listened while Mulder pushed back.)

Outside the meeting

Scully's suit is so... Hnnng. I think it’s the same one she wears at the end of the movie. I’d wear it every day. Jesus.

Mulder with his sleeves rolled up, how long was he waiting?

Both of them are so damned beautiful this movie.

They're being split up. Not just to different departments but different STATES.

- Mulder moves a bit closer when she tells him this.

"And now if they were to transfer me to Omaha or Cleveland, or some field office, it just doesn't hold the interest for me that it once did. Not after what I've seen and done." - Scully

Not to mention being separated from Mulder.

Mulder realizes she's quitting, which he assumes means he's losing her.

Scully's in a place where she feels that she can't or won't get answers, and she can move on from the X-Files with relatively little fuss. In fact, the price that she feels both her and Mulder keep paying seems too steep for the bits and pieces that they get. Even if they get the truth, get answers, will they be able to hold those responsible to justice? Scully doesn't think so, not any more. So is it worth it? Only because Mulder is there, she needs to watch his back, and she loves working with him. But if he decided to leave, to do something else, she would be fine with it. He can't, because of his sister, ultimately. But all throughout season 5 (since Redux probably: “That would mean that for 4 years we've been nothing more than pawns in a game, that it was a lie from the beginning. Mulder, these men... You give them your faith and you're supposed to trust them with your life.”) and then season 6 we see Scully drifting away from wanting to work on the X-Files, wanting to leave and bring Mulder with her. She won't leave without Mulder, unless forced to by larger powers. She's leaving the bureau to STAY with Mulder, not to leave him. Mulder thinks there's some hope they can get the X-Files back, together, and that if she leaves the FBI he won't see her again.

"Maybe you should ask yourself if your heart's still in it, too." - Scully

Scully is asking him to move on WITH her. Mulder assumes she is just leaving and abandoning not only him but their work on the X-Files. The answers and the truth (and his sister) still mean a lot to him.

Scully knows how relentless Mulder is. She loves it but it's also frustrating. He can't give up and will still pursue his answers in whatever way he can. What is her choice? Stay in the bureau and get transferred away with some hope of returning and working with him or leaving the bureau and having some sort of friendship/relationship with him outside of their work.

Her soft "I'm sorry." when he goes to leave.

Knowing she's disappointing him, even if she thinks she doesn't matter.

Scully's sad face when she gives him his jacket. Her hesitance about leaving in the hallway.

Mulder drinking. [["I usually, I normally never, I don’t drink.." (Syzygy)]]

Feeling pretty sorry for himself.

"One is the loneliest number." - Mulder

Thinking about his impending split from Scully. 😥

"I heard you come in here now and again, figured you'd be needing a little drinkie tonight." - Kurtzweil to Mulder

When did he start going to the bar occasionally? During Scully's cancer perhaps, losing himself in his sorrow.

Going to Scully's after hearing what Kurtzweil said. Maybe the last chance he has to do something with her. 😥

She can't sleep. 😥

Their interaction at Scully's apartment.

"Are you drunk, Mulder?" - Scully "I ... I ... I was until about 20 minutes ago, yeah." - Mulder "Was that before or after you decided to come here?" - Scully "What exactly are you implying?" - Mulder

Scully thinking he's just drunk, that he came here to get her to change her mind, to do something neither of them has had the guts to do sober. But she doesn't want anything from an inebriated Mulder.

BUT! Don't worry Scully it's just a case. 😥

I think Scully's wearing the same coat as the one she wore in Christmas Carol.

She always knows to pack gloves around Mulder.

Standing close over the body.

Love Scully in the cold room & the phone ringing. Her panicked face. Mulder just left her there. 🙄

Hiding under the gurneys. 😆

Scully arriving in Dallas. Mulder wasn't sure if she'd come but his face says everything - so happy she changed her mind. He needs her.

Standing closely over the microscope. His FACE! He loves her. ❤️

Scully's face when she sees what's under the microscope.

I really love Well-Manicured Man. Seems more similar to Mulder's father, except having stayed more involved with the Consortium rather than quitting it completely. He wants to do the right thing, but found himself in a strange position of power and forced to do bad things. He's still terrible, of course, but much more nuanced than CSM.

"Mulder" saw one of the infected bodies. What about Scully? Why are we forgetting about how important she is here? Ugh.

"Then you must take away what he holds most valuable. That with which he can't live without." - Strughold

Cut to shot of Scully.

Everyone knows what they mean to each other, except each other. 🙄

I mean... I'm conflicted here. Love that we're acknowledging that Scully is something Mulder can't live without but at the same time she's not just important in terms of how Mulder feels about her. She's the reason that Mulder is as close as he is to the truth, that he's been able to do so much and be such a pain in the ass. If not for her, he'd probably be unwittingly working for the Consortium by now.

"Five years together, Scully. How many times I been wrong? Never. Not driving anyway." - Mulder

In the car - their teamwork, their compromise. Mulder drives straight instead of going right (Scully) or left (Mulder). And because of this, they find what they were looking for. A bit of a 'knock you on the head' metaphor, but oh well. They find their answers not because of Mulder and not because of Scully but because they work together to reach the truth. The danger comes from them both being a team, not from either of them separately.

The scene with Mulder bashfully admitting this is an extraterrestrial virus to Scully is so darn cute. I wish they'd kept Scully's swearing in the final movie, that would have been amazing.

Mulder keeps looking back at her, making sure she's with them, as they approach the white structures in the cornfield.

When the bees come, Mulder taking her hand/wrist, going back to help her. Putting his arm around her.

Scully's wild hair. ❤️ Mulder gazing.

Yelling at each other in the cornfield. PEAK X-FILES!!

MULDERRRRRRR! SCULLAYYYYYYYY!

Mulder's face when they find each other. His hand on her arm.

At the meeting, Scully looking disheveled as she arrives late.

HALLWAY SCENE.

Scully resigns because she doesn't want to go to Utah. The appeal of working for the bureau has waned after working for Mulder and seeing how things really are with the corrupt government.

What she wants is HERE, in D.C.

Mulder doesn't want her to quit because he thinks there is some hope they can get the X-Files back, knows he can't do it without her. And he thinks he's losing her if they don't work together. That the only way he can have her at his side is if they are partners. That he doesn't deserve her in any other way, or that she'd even want it.

Like she told Mulder earlier - her heart isn't in it if she's not with him.

"I need you on this, Scully." - Mulder "You don't need me, Mulder. You never have. I've just held you back." - Scully

Her thoughts from the past while:

“Folie à Deux”: not believing in him. In fact, refusing to do so and nearly getting him killed

From “The End”: Finding out about Diana: a previous partner who also had a romantic relationship with him, who was able to work with him and believe him

Also, their office, all their files and work destroyed: Not only does Mulder not have the proof Scully wanted to give him, but they lost the X-Files; Scully feels responsible. They were warned (by Diana no less) about pursuing this course of action, and Mulder chose Scully's way - and they were punished for it.

She thought she could make a difference in the FBI, but she feels like she hasn't (her comment from earlier in the hallway at the FBI)

So - she feels like she holds him back. She can't believe, feels like she can't be that person. She can never be the person he needs and wants. She caused their work to be destroyed, for him to lose everything important to him.

I love how she just shoves her face into his chest. 😍

Mulder never planned to tell her these things (they don't normally talk about their feelings), but he can't let her say that she doesn't matter. She is everything to him. 😍

Mulder's spontaneity.

For all of season 5, he's been holding himself back, despite knowing how he feels about her, because he's felt he doesn't deserve to be loved, especially by her.

His feelings come rushing out here

No "I love you" but everything that those words mean to him.

Scully's emotional state. Her chest heaving, tears welling in her eyes. His words to her mean everything. Acknowledging that she completes him, that she makes their work possible. That she is critical to his quest. That he doesn't want to do it without her, doesn't think he can.

Everything that she's wanted to hear from him, that she's wanted to BE to him - proven to her by his words for once. Actions may be stronger proof, but you can always deny their true meaning, misinterpret the gestures. But then he backs those words up with more actions...

Scully can't look at him whole he's talking, afraid of what her eyes will reveal. Holding him, kissing his forehead with affection. Familiarity. They've done this before to comfort and she loves to touch him.

UNTIL-- !!! She realizes what he's about to do, what his eyes are saying. Her world shifts -- HE LOVES HER?!

How did that damn bee know to pick this very moment. ARGH.

Mulder's concern when she pulls away sharply. Thinking that he crossed a line, that she doesn't want this. MORE GUILT.

Her reassurance turning to fear. Bees - can't be a coincidence.

Mulder's tenderness and fear when she collapses.

LGM ❤️

Instant rescue mode: WHERE'S SCULLY??

Mulder just throwing Byers' jacket in the street. LOL

WMM - knows exactly what to do to get Mulder into the car with him. Everyone knows except Mulder and Scully how they feel about each other... Well they sorta have an idea now.

"Save Agent Scully" - hmm, OK, you just killed Kurtzweil but I'm listening.

IN the end WMM gives Mulder the vaccine/coordinates not out of any altruistic motives, just out of a need to help his own family - disagrees with the rest of the consortium on their methods (that they are willing to work with the aliens despite new information that they are being used). Mulder is WMM's best chance to fight the aliens and the virus, but he knows Mulder needs Scully. Mulder would be USELESS and LOST without her.

When the car blows up Mulder's face, he’s shocked, realizing the truth in WMM’s words but still focused on his goal -- SCULLY.

Just think about how much pain he must be in. Doesn't matter. SCULLY.

Goes to ANTARCTICA to save her. Doesn't think twice. What a hero.

At the ship, seeing everything, what it could mean. Doesn't matter. SCULLY.

Seeing her clothes and necklace in the transport container. The first evidence that she's here.

Finding her! Desperately breaking her out of the container.

"I'm cold." 😥

His hand on her face.

Definitely sees her naked.

She's so pale. 😥

Lifting and carrying her when she can't continue.

The mouth-to-mouth. Her joke when she comes back. ❤️ "Had you big time." And her smile.

When they get out Mulder keeps his hands on her.

He just wants her to SEE to BELIEVE him ❤️ He wants to share that with her.

SHE SAYS SHE SAW IT. Mulder's like "FINALLY!"

Their cuddle on the snow. Scully's face in his hair.

The ending scene.

Mulder on the bench, watching Scully approach. Looking fabulous! ❤️

Mulder and Scully's positions are reversed compared to the hallway scene.

Mulder doesn't want to watch her die - this she was leaving him when she was resigning.

Scully now has the determination to continue - that Mulder did what he did to save her, what she saw even if she can't explain it or admit it.

AND she knows how he feels about her. He loves her, she believes in that at least. She wants to give him reason to continue, knowing he won't do it without her.

"You were right to want to quit! You were right to want to leave me! You should get as far away from me as you can! I'm not going to watch you die, Scully, because of some hollow personal cause of mine. Go be a doctor. Go be a doctor while you still can." - Mulder

Mulder's guilt - telling her to leave him and be a doctor. That she went through hell because of HIM. (Not thinking about how he went through hell to get her BACK. Of COURSE he would, but it doesn't seem significant to him.)

That she was CURED. That there is a vaccine for this thing. Scully needs to pursue it and she needs to be with him to do so. As a scientist this would be incredible exciting. She has some physical proof, some tangible thing she can focus on, not just an endless search. That their work can potentially lead to something good, that can save lives.

Scully encourages him and he loves her for it.

She grabs his hand but then Mulder holds hers in his. ❤️

The actual ending. More forgetting about Scully. "He is but one man. One man alone cannot fight the future." Like, FUCK OFF. Shoulda left it with the previous scene. 😩

#xfiles #x-files #x-files rewatch #x files rewatch #msr #msrheadcanon #mulder and scully #fox mulder #dana scully #season 5 #ftf #fight the future #damn bee

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justimajin · 4 years ago

Text

It’s a Reverse Basket ◍ Part 15

⇝ Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

⇝ Genre: Fluff, Comedy, Angst

↳ Basketball AU, Crossdressing AU

⇝ Words: 4.2k

⇝ Summary: Basketball is your everything; your passion for it running deep and wanting nothing more then to play the sport. Problem is, the sport isn’t offered competitively to girls and with that, all your hopes immediately fizzle away… …but who ever said that was going to stop you?

⇝ Warnings: pg13; I’m just throwing barrels of fluff into this one

gif credit.

⇝ Previous Parts: Moodboard Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

⇝ Next Update: Tuesday, June 23

Tightening your grip, the giant and hefty block of metal is hoisted above your head. Your arms strain and you clench your teeth in agony, but thankfully twenty seconds fly by and you can allow your grip to loosen.

With an exasperated sigh, you shakily place it back down on the rack and wipe away the lingering sweat from your temples.

A low whistle sounds from nearby, Hoseok staring at you with wide eyes.

“You’ve gotten really good at lifting Y/N!” You manage to sit up and smile at him, “I think Jungkook might be seeing some tough competition soon.”

Jungkook pauses mid-way from lifting his own weights and raises a brow at Hoseok, only for him to mischievously grin. “What? You’ve got another competitor now.”

Shaking his head, Jungkook resumes his workout as Hoseok helps you up from the bench press, plopping himself down and adjusting your weights. He had decided to assist you since Jungkook was a bit preoccupied with his own routine, alongside with Jimin and Taehyung having long gone out on a run together.

That’s when a head of bleach blonde hair flocks in, roughly setting down his bag and plopping down in a hurry. He flicks his phone out, scrambling through it with attentive eyes.

The unease on his features draws concern out from you.

“Everything okay?” You ask, his eyes becoming wide once he realizes you were referring to him.

“Uh yeah,” Jackson replies, his usual cheerful demeanour not sparking out. “Actually– Y/N, do you know what girls like?”

Your eyes widen, “Or do you have a girlfriend or a sister? Someone that does?”

A nervous laugh leaves you at that and you place your hand on your racing heartbeat. Meanwhile, Hoseok strolls over in curiosity. “W-Why do you ask?”

Jackson somberly smiles, “I wanted to get something nice for my girlfriend but I’m not sure what….” His eyes perk up at Hoseok, “What about you?”

Hoseok shrugs, hands in his short pockets, “I have a sister but she’s older than me. Probably not the age range you’re looking for.”

Jackson sighs, staring at his phone hopelessly. You catch a glimpse of his calendar brightly lit on the screen, his voice answering your confusion.

“Man….why is Valentine’s Day already here?” He slumps down onto the bench, your eyes frantically widening.

V-Valentine’s Day?

As in, the holiday where people celebrate love?

Your heart starts racing again.

“U-Um, so, you’re buying your girlfriend something?” You hastily question and Jackson glances at you in confusion.

“Of course, all couples get each other things on Valentine’s Day.” He shrugs, however, it only serves to make your eye twitch now. “I just wanted to get my girlfriend something nice, you know? To show how much I appreciate her.”

“Dude, that’s beautiful.” Jungkook says from behind, eavesdropping on your conversation as he lifts weights.

“How long have you guys been together for?” Hoseok questions.

“Roughly a year?” Jackson sadly smiles, “But ever since I came to school, we haven’t been able to see much of each other.”

You hurriedly interject again. “I-Is there a limit on how long you’ve been together?”

Jackson furrows his brows, “I don’t think so? There’s no rules or regulations, you just get the person you love something or spend time with them.” He sighs, “I can’t do the second one, so I’m going for the first option.”

Hoseok hums, like he was trying to understand as well. That’s when an idea sparks in your mind.

“I can help you then!” You timidly suggest, “Y-You know, with what girls like and all that.”

“Really?” You nod and Jackson’s smile widens, “Thanks Y/N, I seriously appreciate it!”

You smile but there’s something else brewing in your mind, something you’ll have to get started on as soon as you can before Valentine’s Day can strike.

***

You patiently wait outside of the store.

After you had agreed to help out Jackson, the two of you had decided to exchange numbers in order to meet up. Once you had started texting for a while, you gave him a call one day and spilled the beans.

You tell him everything – how this tradition of Valentine’s Day was completely foreign to you, how you were in a relationship with Yoongi and wanted to get something for him but were absolutely clueless on what exactly, how you thought in a way you could help each other, since you would help him find something and then you could also have someone around who was in the same scenario as you.

Jackson agrees, even vouching that he’ll keep everything a secret. However he grows just as excited and nervous as you, glad to not be alone in this either.

“Y/N!” You whirl around to see Jackson jogging over, “I didn’t take too long, did I?”

You shake your head and smile, “Great! I saw this store the other day and I thought we could find something nice here.”

Catching a glimpse of the place, you can see why he chose it.

It seems more catered towards Valentine’s Day than anything. The exterior glass is covered with giant hearts, the smell of chocolate wafting through and a giant banner declaring that all Valentine’s gifts were half off.

You warily stare at it but Jackson doesn’t mind, dragging you over with him in an enthusiastic manner. He ends up getting drawn to one of the first shelves, letting you wander around the many aisles in curiosity.

There’s an abundance of things – obnoxious cards scribbled with hearts, large bouquets and flowers on display, even boxes of chocolate that appear to be recycled.

You keep wandering around and pacing the store when nothing catches your eye and strikes you as something that you would want to give to Yoongi. In fact, you think Yoongi would actually hate more of the Valentine’s catered things here.

With a sigh, you head back to Jackson who is eagerly eyeing a chocolate box that has a bright red bow on top.

“I don’t think I want something from here…” You avertedly whisper. He immediately pivots, like he couldn’t believe what you were saying.

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, it’s just….” You glance around, staring at the bright red balloons floating at the ceiling, “It just seems too much.”

Jackson hums, “I think something practical would be better.”

“Like what though?” He questions. You ponder for an answer, still avertedly glancing around the store when your eyes land on the glass outside of the store. As if a light bulb went off in your mind, you whirl around and grab onto Jackson.

“Come on!”

He hurriedly nods, discarding the chocolate he was going to initially buy and rushing with you. Once you enter the opposing store from the Valentine’s themed one, your eyes instantly light up.

However, Jackson frowns. “Y/N, why are we in a clothing store?”

You’re already eyeing the various articles of fabrics, latching onto a fluffy sweater.

“I think…this is something he’ll like.” You whisper, mind racing.

In the time you’ve known Yoongi, somehow you’ve noticed that he always seems cold. From the way he constantly keeps his arms crossed during practices when he wears your team’s thin jersey , to moments when he keeps a jacket on hand when it gets rather chilly. It’s such a small observation but you’re certain that this is something he would truly appreciate.

However, your moment of sudden realization is cut off when your eyes land on the price, backing away immediately.

“What’s wrong?” Jackson asks, eyes landing on the giant tag as he hisses, “Yeah, I wouldn’t recommend getting that one.”

You filter through the various tags around you, all of them spelling out a similar message. You let out a sigh, wondering how you were going to possibly get Yoongi a sweater when you can’t even afford one.

“What am I going to do Jackson?” You whisper, a defeated silence lingering in the air. Jackson frowns, quickly peering around the range of clothing for another moment. The prices don’t appear to be changing any time soon, but then he stumbles upon one very specific sweater.

He abruptly spins around, grabbing your attention. “Hey, Y/N?”

“Yeah?”

“What if you just made a sweater instead of buying one?” He lifts the particular piece of fabric that’s been covered in carefully woven strings and knots, “You could like knit it or something.”

Your eyes widen in bewilderment, never really considering that to be an option. Truthfully you aren’t a huge craftsman at all, but you suppose in a way making it would be more sentimental and it wouldn’t have your wallet emptying out in despair either.

You pursue your lips.

Perhaps...you’ve got a solid idea on your hands.

***

Soon after, you and Jackson head over to a different store to pick up various threads. None of the colours seem to catch your eye until you focus on the black and orange assortments, the idea of making the sweater like your team’s jersey being a welcoming one because Yoongi would then be able to wear it to practice.

You discover that Jackson had ended up purchasing some of his own threads as well, declaring that he doesn’t think giving his girlfriend a mere box of chocolates would be enough and he wants to take up the challenge. You’re ecstatic at the prospect of someone else also working at this with you, not being alone in a somewhat lengthy project.

By the time you head back to your dorm, Taehyung and Jungkook can’t help but be curious.

“What’s that?” Jungkook wonders, pointing to the large bag you had hauled up and planted onto the ground.

“Oh, just some threads I picked up with Jackson.” You softly smile, “I’m going to make a sweater.”

“Who is this sweater for?” Taehyung questions, raising a suspicious brow. You opt out for not telling them just yet, in the hopes they don’t accidentally tell Yoongi when you’re not around.

“Just for someone…” You meekly snatch up the bag, deciding to bring it to your room instead of in front of the prying eyes.

Taehyung pursues his lips, like he wasn’t able to believe you on that. He watches you disappear into your room, tugging the bag alongside with you.

Spreading out the materials onto your bed, you unpackage and begin to unravel the long bundles of thread. You then take out the sharp needles, staring at them and then at the yarn with a blank look.

Although this had initially been a good idea, you can’t help but wonder what knitting would be like for someone like you. You have zero experience with the craft and you don’t know what you ended up making is going to look like, but with a sigh, you suppose that simply the desire to make something for Yoongi should be enough at the end of the day.

***

Knitting is horrendous.

It takes a certain kind of rhythm to get through it, a precise way of weaving the strings to build a cohesive chain. That chain then grows to become a giant sheet, building up to develop into the huggable and cozy appearance you were going for.

Or at least, you had hoped for.

There’s a crease in between your brows when you clasp the needles tighter, attempting to loop them according to the tutorial you had been up all night watching. The man in it was able to easily tie the strings together, letting them effortlessly go through various hoops until he was completely finished. You on the other hand, barely have finished the first row of many, roughly pulling the needles back and forth to create some sort of structure.

When another disastrous knot forms amongst the somewhat okayish row, you let go of the needles in exasperation. You suppose there was no guarantee that you would have been good with this, not accustomed to working with something that required so much care and detail opposed to brute force and strategy.

“Hey Y/N!” You glance up to see Jackson strolling over, a bright smile on his lips, “Are you making it?”

He points to the multiple strings wrapped around your arms, needles poking out of the mess you managed to create. With a somber nod, you sadly smile.

“What about you?” You question, hoping you can get some solace that knitting for the first time was a universal issue and that you weren’t the only one facing its wrath.

Jackson plants his bag on the ground next to you, rummaging through it before he pulls out a clean sheet of perfectly woven strings.

“I think it’s coming out quite nicely!” He grins, “I might just turn mine into a sweater instead of a scarf at this rate.”

“That would be a good idea.” You whisper, still eyeing the way your teammate was able to catch onto the craft much better than you did. In a way, you are happy, however you wanted this to be perfect for Yoongi and so far the future doesn’t look so bright for you in that matter.

Speaking of which, Yoongi steps into the gym. You and Jackson hurriedly scramble as you slide your bob of mixed yarn and his perfected one away in your bags before anyone can see. Hastily straightening up, you jog over to where the members have started to line up and patiently wait.

“Hey Y/N.” Taehyung nudges you with his elbow, “Is the captain alright?”

“Hm?” You stare at Yoongi in confusion when he paces over to Namjoon, his dreary eyes appearing a lot more serious than usual. You recall talking to him about it a while back and he had simply shrugged it off by saying he had a lot on his plate with school and being captain. Although he managed to convince you that everything was okay, the stress lining his delicate features is too easy to read in the single moment.

“I honestly don’t know…” You whisper to Taehyung, but before he can ask you more, Yoongi marches over.

“We’re practicing in teams of four today, separate yourselves.” He simply mutters, eyes coming into your contact with yours for a second. He smiles, but it’s then when you realize how stressed he actually is when it barely meets his eyes.

When you move to get into teams, Jackson reminds you of the very thing that could help the situation.

“Since the captain is stressed, he’ll probably be really happy when you give him the sweater.”

Although you agree with the sentiment, his words only serve to spike up determination in you.

***

You collapse onto your bed, a sigh leaving your lips.

“I mean, it doesn’t look so bad….” Hyerin encourages over the phone, the overshadowing in her voice being too obvious, “Really Y/N, it kind of looks like a hat– OH! Maybe you could give him a hat!”

You groan, planting your hand on your face as Hyerin desperately tries to make you feel better. “Yeah, a hat! He could totally rock it, right?”

“Maybe I should just give up on the idea and buy one…”

“Why don’t you just ask that guy for help? Uh what was his name, Jackson?” Her voice blares through the phone and you roll over to plant it against your face.

“He’s already making one of his own Hyerin.”

A tick leaves her, but she still persists, “You can do this, Y/N! It’s really great that you’re putting in so much effort to make something for this Yoongi guy and I think he’d be grateful at the end of the day.”

You stare down at the heaped mess you’ve created, strings poking out in absurd ways.

“Are you sure?” You pluck one the strings, watching it unravel from the loose knot you weren’t able to make.

“Positive!” Her voice turns firm, “Now make sure you finish that sweater and knock his socks off with it!!”

You giggle from that, thanking her and then turning off the phone. Letting your eyes wander back to your failed sweater, you pick up the needles again and give it another shot.

***

Namjoon arrives at practice earlier than expected.

Yoongi had informed him that he would be caught up in some delays because of a late exam the day before, so Namjoon decided it would be best if he came early for the team.

He heads for the gym doors, entering the large court area and jogs towards his office. Grabbing his whistle, he naturally assumes no one is in the gym – until he catches sight of two people.

You and Jackson are huddled together in the corner, seemingly whispering to each other amongst the empty and quiet gym. Namjoon raises a brow, unsure of what was exactly going on as he treads over to you, hovering above your crouched figures.

That’s when he sees it and it leaves him feeling even more puzzled. Strings of yarn are sprayed across the ground, both you and Jackson holding what he assumes to be knitting needles. The pile next to Jackson is an appealing array of white and sky blue, woven together to resemble a cozy scarf.

The pile next to you, however, is a disarray of blank and orange, and what’s worse is that your technique doesn’t seem to be helping much.

“Oh my god, Namjoon!” Jackson suddenly shrieks. Namjoon winces at the high pitch, watching you two instantly scatter away all your belongings and pushing it behind you. “W-We were just uh, you know talking and stuff!”

Namjoon sighs, “Why are you knitting before practice?”

“Oh uh, the thing is–“ Jackson scrambles for an answer.

“I’m knitting a sweater for Yoongi.” You smile, being honest with Namjoon as Jackson gapes at you for letting the secret out so easily. “We were just working on completing so we won’t be distracted when practice starts.”

Namjoon appreciates that you’ve told him the truth instead of covering it up like Jackson was attempting to, so he decides you could use the piece of advice he offers.

“Do you need help? I’m not great at knitting but I do know the basics since my mom’s really good at it.”

A cord strikes in you at that, mouth falling agape when the source of help you needed all along was actually in front of you. You hurriedly nod, shifting over abruptly as Namjoon chuckles.

When he takes the bundle from his hands, Namjoon frowns, “Why are there so many lumps in it?”

“Lumps?” You crane your neck to see the various bumpy ridges, “Oh, that’s how the tutorial said to do it.”

“I think the tutorial was right but you did it on the opposite sides.” Namjoon plops the ground, weaving the needles on a different side, “It should be like this.”

You attentively watch as Namjoon fixes your errors, the odd lumps in your design beginning to disappear as he continues. Jackson seems to be intrigued as well, dropping his own bundle to observe Namjoon with pure marvel.

“There you go.” Namjoon smiles, having taken a couple of minutes to fix your messed-up rows and passing it back to you. Thanks to him, your design appears much better and smoother, no longer a disarray of chaos.

When he gets up, you sincerely smile.

“Thanks Namjoon.”

He smiles back at you, heading back to his office to grab some paperwork. He swoops out of the gym for a brief moment, both you and Jackson still huddled in the corner as you attempt to recreate the way Namjoon had shown you. That’s when Namjoon runs into him, eyes sparking up in surprise.

“Ah, you’re on time.” Yoongi nods, hand on the bag slung across his shoulders.

“I managed to get some sleep.” He yawns, rubbing his eyes sleepily. His eyes dart over to Namjoon’s hands, “What’s that?”

“Oh, it’s the approval for the next game.” He hands it to Yoongi, who hums before briefly scanning over it.

Namjoon smiles when he gives it back, “If you need any help, just let me know.”

“I wouldn’t worry so much about that, just focus on school for now.” Yoongi nods and Namjoon smiles, patting him on the back before he leaves. “Good things are coming your way so try not to stay too stressed.”

Yoongi frowns and stares at him strangely at that, but he simply shrugs it off as another yawn escapes him.

***

Namjoon’s help ended up doing pure wonders for you. Because of him, your rows don’t longer are tangled or stringy but aligned and smooth. His help also sparked bundles of motivation in you, the desire to keep going without completing the sweater not being far from your hands.

You end up finishing just on time, presenting the finished product to Jackson with a huge smile gracing your lips.

“It looks great Y/N!” He exclaims, marvelling at the fine embroidery of black and orange, “I can’t believe you managed to make our logo on it!”

He flips the sweater around to show the words Bangtan and the number nine that Yoongi wears on his jersey. You smile at that, though you have to admit pestering Namjoon with a multitude of questions ended up being immensely helpful.

“What about you? Where’s yours?” Jackson places your sweater down and pulls out the bright white and blue sweater, an intricate striped pattern on it.

“What do you think?”

You gape in amazement, fingers faintly touching the material, “It’s beautiful….” You whisper, giving him a soft smile, “Your girlfriend will love it.”

Jackson grins and you take your sweater back. The sound of feet shuffling nearby have you two scrambling again, hurriedly glancing in the direction of the door where Yoongi stands.

He frowns, bag still on his shoulder, “What are you guys doing here?”

Jackson’s eyes light up with the situation, a cheesy smile on his lips when he grabs his belongings and hastily gets up. Yoongi raises a brow when Jackson sends you a thumbs up before leaving, dismay growing in you at how obvious he was being.

“What’s going on?” Yoongi turns back to you, more confusion appearing in his features.

You slowly get up from the ground, bringing the folded sweater in your hands. Shuffling over to him, Yoongi’s eyes perk up at the sight of it.

With a bashful smile, you extend your arms.

Yoongi frowns, letting his bag drop to the ground before he takes the woolly sweater from your hands. It unfolds, revealing the huge logo that matches with the one on his jersey.

When he glances at you perplexed, you clear your throat and smile, “Happy Valentine’s Day.”

Yoongi takes a glance at the sweater again, the shock across his features not leaving the longer you stare at him. You wonder just how speechless you’ve rendered him, but then he takes the sweater and walks away from you.

Pain flashes in your eyes when he hasn’t said anything, fear dwelling in you at the prospect that he doesn’t like it. But then he emerges from the office with something in his hands.

“I had a talk with Yoonji….” He begins, a small box in his hands, “When everyone’s families were invited to our game.”

You nod, recalling the day being horrible for you until Yoonji had cheered you on. “So I got you this. I wasn’t sure when to give to you but since it’s Valentine’s….”

He hands you the box and you stare at it in curiosity. It feels extremely light and you pick at the tape on the side, letting it peel away to allow the corners to unfold.

Your hand comes into contact with something metallic, pulling it out completely from the bag to reveal the large brown frame.

When you had first earned your position on the team after try-outs, Namjoon had wanted to take a group picture of the team to cement it. He had requested that you all appear serious, but after the first shot, that was thrown out the window once Taehyung had managed to fall over and everything had started laughing. Namjoon had ended up keeping the remaining shots for memory sake, but the one where all of you are laughing the hardest, is the very one in the frame Yoongi has given you.

It spells out one solid message for you, something you didn’t even know you needed.

You will always have your team by your side.

Your eyes grow glossy when you glance up at Yoongi, who’s smiling tenderly at your reaction. He brings the sweater in his hands over his head, looping in his arms in it before it entirely covers him. Snatching up his bag from the ground, he trudges away to toss it aside and to bring the cart of basketballs out.

Taking one final glance at the frame with a smile, you carefully place it back into the box and into your bag. Eventually getting back into the flow for practice, everyone begins to arrive and take notice of Yoongi’s unique sweater, Jackson throwing you a cheeky smile at its appearance.

“They’re so cute.” Jackson dreamily sighs, later on watching you two interact from the window of the Namjoon’s office once practice wraps up.

Namjoon hums, clearly annoyed by Jackson's sudden emergence in his office as he works, but managing to let out a soft smile from the thought.

101 notes · View notes

godsofhumanity · 4 years ago

Text

GODHUNTER by AMY SUMIDA | REVIEW

okiee this was recommended to me by @inkleaves ^-^ uhmm so i have a LOT to say about this book. spoilers under cut.

OVERVIEW: “Godhunter” is the epithet given to a young woman named Vervain who uses witchcraft and magic to go around committing deicide in order to save humanity from gods who drain their energy to gain immortality and other godly attributes. However, when Vervain is recruited by the Norse god Thor, she finds herself in an alliance with the people she originally considered her enemies, as they work together to save the world from the maliciousness of the Aztec god, Huitzilopochtli.

RATING: 2/10. i’m giving it a low rating because it doesn’t really have too much to do with mythology, but i did like its general portrayal of most deities even though this book was insanely cringey and dumb.. now, even though under the cut, i’ve kinda bashed the book quite a bit, i still have to admit that i’d be lying if i said i didn’t have fun reading it. i stayed up to 1 AM trying to finish it because i had to find out what the protag’s next stupid decision would be,, all in all, if you like trash/cringe fiction- this is for you.

WARNING: even though this book is a YA novel, I’d say there’s a definite emphasis on the adult part of “young adult”... Certain scenes and themes are inappropriate for minors.

AVAILABLE ON: pdf link here ^-^ ((i think it downloads immediately if you click))

THINGS I LIKED:

the book is cringe.

great diversity in terms of the god cast. i learned about some new deities that i was previously unfamiliar with, so that was cool

Brahma (Hindu deity) wears a Gucci belt as part of his attire ^-^

whatever Estsanatlehi and Tsohanoai (Native American deities) had going on.... they were really cute and wholesome

THOR-HORUS BROTP AGENDA!!!!!!!! everyone who follows me already knows how keen i am about this idea of all the war deities hanging out together (fite club), and this novel served up exactly that. disappointing that Huitzilopochtli wasn’t a part of it, but i am settling for Thor and Horus’ several centuries old friendship.

Horus’ falcon tattoo detail.. i LOVE the idea of the gods having their sacred animals tattooed,, it’s so awesome!!!

Pan... i liked the way he still had his little horns, and he was kinda chaotic and fun.

in general, the descriptions of the gods were so pleasant and so cool.. i really liked the way that pretty much all the gods were beautiful,, this is very much in line with my own idea of how the gods look, and i think it makes sense, because they’re meant to be charismatic, compelling beings- beings that you worship, beings that you praise- why would they be anything but beautiful? and even if they were considered ugly by other gods, that’s only in comparison to other deities.. from a human perspective,, i just can’t see how any mortal could consider a god to be anything less than perfection,, idk

in particular- i really enjoyed the descriptions of Huitzilopochtli in his debut. i know he’s a piece of shit in the novel, but i LOVED the way he was described with his war-frenzy being triggered by blood, and the way, as god of the sun, his body almost glows, and heats up as though you’re looking into the sun itself, and the only way he can cool it down is by bathing in blood... WOWOWOWOW it’s just such a neat and fantastic visual description. his physical appearance really paid tribute to Huitzilopochtli’s original domain and attributes.

i also liked the linking between Huitzilopochtli being the Father of Vampires.. links between Aztec culture and vampirism is a trope that i didn’t originally suspect, but have become exposed to quite a bit as of late,, and i think that it’s quite a clever little plot. i liked that Huitzilopochtli also debunks superstitions about the sun, garlic, crosses, holy water etc.

Huitzilopochtli as the villain. the man makes a BRILLIANT villain- his motives are very clear and also, i thought, justified, albeit unoriginal. his presence is quite terrifying, and the reader does worry for Vervain’s safety whenever she’s with him- which is good! this means that he fills out his role as a villain well. tbh,, i did love Huitzilopochtli from the moment of his debut, but he got knocked out of my books during a certain temple scene and i have some thoughts about that in the next section.

when Vervain wakes up after the temple dream with Huitzilo, and she relaxes because it was just a dream, but then she looks into the mirror and sees bite marks on her neck!!! CHILLS! now THAT was good writing- it was unexpected, and served well to navigate into the next part of the plot.

Odin and Huitzilopochtli holding a ted talk on “how to create panic and discord among the humans”, and the gods having to bring certain meals depending on what the first letter of their names were.

Vervain’s pop-culture references, and her weaponry- especially the gloves that have blades in them that get released when she swings her hand downwards. very cool, i want them.

casual appearances from Vladimir Putin (yes, i said Vladimir Putin)... i couldn’t stop laughing when i read that Huitzilo was trying to kill Putin’s daughter to instigate a war...... asdhshajdhasdjfhjdhf insane

also i know Vervain was trying to mock Huitzilo when she nicknamed him “Blue”,, but like.. that’s a really cute name and it wasn’t even insulting.. yeah, that one backfired on you Vervain... if anything, that just made it seem like she actually had affections for him and i feel like probably in part is the reason why he felt encouraged to pursue her.

THINGS I DIDN’T LIKE/THINGS THAT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE AND/OR CONFUSED ME:

the book is cringe.

it reads like a 15 year old’s fantasy AU where she’s a humble young woman, unextraordinary- yet somehow, she is the muse of every man’s desire. handsome, ripped gods who never wear clothes are laying themselves down at her feet,, and she is just overwhelmed by the choices before her; and all the while, she has to balance a complicated love life with her duty to save the world (since she’s the only one who can).

Vervain as a protagonist. idk how old she’s meant to be, but since the book is in first-person, and the reader is exposed to her innermost thoughts,, i’ve gotta say- she’s incredibly immature. as a protagonist, i just feel like she’s rude, pretentious, snobby.. she has no idea what “respect” even means. in every scene, she’s either fighting someone, or lusting after them (when Teharon told her off for having lascivious thoughts about him, and she simply responded with “well stop being so sexy then” i wanted to die.... WHAT is wrong with her)

i hate the way she looks down on the gods- even if you didn’t worship them, or even believed in their existence, surely you wouldn’t have the gall to lecture Hades and Persephone on how to be a good couple (especially when your advice is shit). surely you wouldn’t have the gall to say to Thor what Vervain says to him on pg 227, 4th line from the bottom, that i will not repeat here. Vervain is just too self-absorbed. i don’t hate her, but i definitely think her character is a bit,,, iffy.

relating to Vervain as the protagonist- everything just seems to happen to her.. and i know that she’s the protag, and things are meant to happen to her, but it all happens to her one after the other in succession, no breaks. it’s so easy for her... oh? Huitzilopochtli is going to kill Putin’s daughter? no worries, Vervain can read Huitzilopochtli’s thoughts! oh? the gods have never been able to transform more than half their body into their animal form? no worries, Vervain is so powerful she can force a god to change against their will! oh? Vervain is being attacked by blood-thirsty wolves? no worries, she saved the life of one werewolf and now he’s indebted to her and will literally kill himself in order to protect her! everything is easy, and nothing is a problem.

the way every male deity ever sees Vervain once and immediately wants to take her to bed. why was that a necessary aspect of her character? and also, why are the gods portrayed as such lustful beings?? it really wasn’t necessary.

Horus throwing a fit about how December 25 is his birthday and that it was stolen from him by Jesus... to quote:

“No big deal?” Horus puffed up. “I was called the Lamb of God. I had twelve apostles, and my myths spoke of my crucifixion and consequent resurrection in three days. His stories were my stories first!”

it’s fine that Horus is angry about his birthday which was i think, historically celebrated around this date- but the rest of it isn’t even true???? Horus didn’t have 12 apostles, i’m pretty sure he was also not called “Lamb of God”, and he wasn’t crucified!!! aghhhh even Thor says “It’s been so long that even you don’t remember things accurately.”

anyways.. my beef with this is the way it’s phrased so as to imply that “oh christianity just stole everything from the pagans” when this is so incredibly false and sounds like something an ill-informed person would say. you can read more about christianity, paganism and christmas here

kinda related to the previous point- the jokes about Jesus’ skin colour. i quote:

“... when Christ first became a god, he looked Jewish because those were the people he chose to align himself with. However, the Jews didn’t want him, and when Christianity spread, the white people wanted Jesus to look more like them. With the change in belief, Christ’s appearance changed. ... We used to tease him about how he looked whiter every time we saw him... Kind of like Michael Jackson...”

what the FUCK??????? seems like Sumida doesn’t understand that various ethnic groups illustrate Jesus as appearing as the local people do. Yes, obviously in a Western country, Jesus is going to look European, he’s going to look white. If you go to Japan, you will see Jesus and the rest of the gang looking pretty fucking Japanese. the point of this is NOT to erase Jesus’ Jewish ethnicity, and it is certainly not because of something like “the Jews didn’t want him”- it is because it is a way for followers to better relate to the Divine. including Christ in this story isn’t the problem- i’ve seen others do it very well. the problem is how uneducated her writing comes across.

all the gods have human jobs so that they can earn money and stuff,, which is fine- Thor, for example, owns a line of boats, which makes sense. but Pan? his job is making p*rn. now even though it’s true that everyone associates Pan with sexuality and stuff,,, this isn’t his primary role, and making Pan out to be just a playboy who has his mind in the gutter 24/7 i think is a bit of a mockery. Pan is, first and foremost, a god of the Wild. why Sumida elected to make him a p*rn manufacturer and not a wildlife conservationist is beyond me... i’m not even pagan, and i thought this creative decision was distasteful and stupid, especially because his character is actually quite light-hearted and cool.

the temple scene with Huitzilopochtli and Vervain. as i said previously, i really really liked Huitzilo’s character. he made an excellent villain. but this part?? i understand why it was done, but i HATED that it had to happen... not just because it was horrible for Vervain, but Huitzilo seemed so powerful and godly right up to that point- after which he seemed pretty pathetic- going back after Vervain after she’s rejected him countless times. she is JUST a mortal!!! c’mon Huitzilo, give it up!!! you are degrading yourself at the expense of achieving one mortal’s “love”.. the fact that he had to hypnotise her to get what he wanted AND had to achieve it through her dreams (when’s she can’t protect herself) was sooooo pathetic and disgraceful.. IMO, he committed the worst sin any person could ever commit and i just... AGHHHHHHHHH SMH WHY?!

speaking of morons- Thor. Thor just comes across to me as extremely possessive, and over-protective,, and idk how Vervain was NOT creeped out by the fact that Thor had literally been stalking her for two years before she even met him. wtf? god or not- that’s creepy. actually, i think it’s creepier because he is a god.

Sif. i am still waiting for good media representation of thunder god Thor and his beautiful golden-haired wife Sif- i want them to be HAPPY, and i want them to be in love the way they should be!

Persephone. i like the idea of Persephone being sweet-tempered, and kind- but in this book, she’s such a wimp??????? she totally just lets Vervain be rude to her, a goddess who’s name means “Bringer of Destruction”. also- her relationship with Hades seems toxic.. i mean,, he like tracks her? she starts stuttering when she talks to him, and gets nervous when people so much as mention his name. not to mention the fact that Persephone says that when she does go back to him, all he demands from her is a certain horizontal dance so much so that she is “sore” (<- quoting from the book here) every time she returns??????? WHAT IS HAPPENING?????????? and no one even questions it. Vervain doesn’t even question it! instead she suggests that Persephone MOVES IN with Hades permanently???? and that Hades should just start verbally saying how much he loves Persephone instead of “showing” her how much he “loves” her.....??? there are SO many issues with this.. i can’t even- *screams*

the Aphrodite-is-madly-in-love-with-Huitzilopochtli side plot. it could have been really good, but then it ends so abruptly,,, i mean.. why’d Aphrodite get done so dirty like that? Also summary of Hephaestus’ first and final scenes:

Hephaestus, entering the room: Right, what’s all this then? Vervain: Your wife is cheating on you (again) Hephaestus: Aight, i’m out *leaves and never comes back for the rest of the book*

what the HECK was the ending with Trevor?? i hate Vervain so much i can’t... okay first of all- WHY did Trevor decide to have a wolf-marriage with Vervain?? he kept on going on about how she’s so beautiful, and kind, and caring... NO SHE ISN’T TREVOR!!! i’m so mad that he would pledge himself for all eternity to this girl who doesn’t even like him in that way!!! you played yourself son

also- Thor accepts the fact that Trevor is going to have to be close by to Vervain because the terms of the marriage state that Trevor will literally die without her touch, which is VERY GENEROUS of Thor... but Vervain?? ooooh i HATE her.. she has the audacity to look at Trevor with her lecherous eyes thinking about lustful things IN THOR’S OWN BED!!!!! and then she thinks to herself “oh whoops i shouldn’t be thinking that”- yeah you’re darn right you shouldn’t be thinking that!!!! whatttt is wrong with her.............

also- where tf did Huitzilo go??? he just gave up on trying to instigate a war and vanished?? the plot was so unresolved?????? AGH!

#also- i forgot but- the Brad Pitt looking guy on the front cover.. i thought maybe that was meant to be Ull because he's blonde but i guess #it really was Thor in the end?? but Thor in the novel has red hair so what's up with that? how disappointing #person who reviewed this and said ''Vervain's one of the best female heroines today!''- can i have some of whatever you're smoking?#she's so horrible!!! aghhhhh #review #godhunter by amy sumida #long post

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gwennavierre · 4 years ago

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I don't have a computer yet, but wanted to start writing a little fic where Plagg overindulges and gets... chatty.

I don't know how to do a cut in the mobile app, so sorry!

If you like this and want another chapter, please let me know!

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Notices: season 3 spoilers, alcohol consumption (by kwami, not kid)

Delicate combinations

Chapter 1

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'Would you like some cheese with that whine?'

Adrien glared at the smirking kwami and stopped his tangent on how frustrating it was to be in love with a girl who didn't like him back. It wasn't her lack of feelings for him that was the main issue (though it was high up there...), but how difficult it was for him to let go of his feelings for her to pursue someone else. He enjoyed spending time with Kagami, and tried really hard to feel happy at the thought of possibly k-kissing her... but.. Adrien sighed. Plagg was right, he was whining and that wasn't doing anything but making him feel worse.

"Sorry, Plagg. I know you're tired of hearing this. I am too, to be honest. At least you're not stuck inside my head with my thoughts, right?" he grinned as Plagg sighed and heavily rolled his eyes.

'I need more cheese for this, Adrien. I'm wasting away, using all my energy to listen to you mope. In fact, I could go for some actual wine as well. It's been a while since I paired my cheese with a nice wine...' he tapped his.. chin? with his stubby arm while he pondered to himself about the delightful combination of good vin and fomage...

"I'll see what I can do, Plagg. Wait here!" The blonde was out the door the next moment, leaving Plagg to start drooling in anticipation.

When Adrien came back, he was holding a glass bottle under his shirt and doing his best impression of a spy in an overrated action movie. Plagg raised his eyebrows as his chosen turned and closed the bedroom door, badly humming a theme from one of those movies.

Turning to face Plagg, he pulled the bottle from its hiding place with a proud flourish. "Ta-daaaaa!" He rubbed his chin with one hand while turning the bottle in the other, reading the label.

"It's the first one I saw and one of the chefs almost caught me, so I don't know what kind I grabbed. I'm not really a fan of wine, either, so... I hope this is okay?"

Plagg hid the bit of emotion that almost showed on his face. Adrien might be an idiot, but he was one of the best humans he had ever had. He flitted to his cheese cupboard and chose the best piece to go with the bottle.

"I forgot to grab a glass.. want me to go get you on-...?"

Plagg had already forced out the cork and was somehow tilting the heavy glass bottle into his mouth. Adrien may not like wine, but he definitely knew that was not how one was supposed to drink such a fancy one... ah well. His kwami looked delighted as he went back and forth with the cheese and the wine, no doubt enjoying the (supposedly) delicate balance of flavors.

Smiling softly to himself, Adrien flopped onto his bed and pulled out some reading he wanted to catch up on. He hadn't realized how sleepy he was until he was woken up an hour later by Plagg... who had apparently been poking his nose while making "beep" sounds to bring him back to consciousness.

'Beeeeep' *poke* 'beeeeep' *poke* 'BEEEEEEPP!' *aggressive poke*

"Ow! Plagg, what the hell?" Adrien groggily sat up and covered his bruised nose with his hand.

'Finally! I've been soooo boorrrred, Adrien. You fell asleep and I had nooooo one to talk to except your pictures of Ladybug, and apparently she's not very talkative right now..' Plagg glared at one of the aforementioned pictures, thoroughly offended at its lack of engaging discourse over the past hour.

"Plagg... are you... are you drunk?"

'What? No, I'm Plagg. You lidderulllly jus' said it. Why would you think I'm Drunk? What kinda name is that, anyway??' the kwami wobbled a bit, even while floating in air, and gave a crooked smile.

Adrien stared blankly at him and slowly blinked. "Right. You weren't supposed to drink the WHOLE BOTTLE, you know!"

'How was I supposa know that, huh? You left it on the table for me. You didna say I had to limmmmmit myself.' Plagg sniffed in indignation and held his wobbly head up high and seeing the humorless Ladybug staring out at him again from her place on the wall. Plagg narrowed his eyes and floated towards it, seemingly tripping on himself a few times.

'And YOU!' he angrily pointed his stubby arm at the picture. 'You are NO help ADDDAALL, with your buggy liddle face making my cat go all loopy dovey goggly eyes.'

Adrien rubbed the last bit of sleep from his eyes as he watched his kwami yell at a poster. This... was starting to be very entertaining, if also a bit embarrassing. Poor Plagg was all he had to talk to about his love for the polka dotted heroine, after all. He was bound to get frustrated with it eventually...

Adrien tuned back in to Plagg's lecturing of the Ladybug poster.

'...an.. an he won't... stop... talking about you an I know you ca't stop talking 'bout him either, and you're both soo... sooo... UGH.' Plagg was pulling at his face in frustration.

Adrien frowned.

"Plagg, what do you mean she 'can't stop talking about me either'?"

'Wha? Oh. Yeah. Badylug. She's todally obsessed with you. More than you are with her, 'ccording to Sugarcube... '

Adrien felt his face heat up, even as confusion clouded his brain..

"Ladybug barely tolerates me, Plagg. She's not obsessed with me... she likes someone else, after all..." he couldn't control the sad sigh that escaped his lips.

Plagg narrowed his eyes in Adrien's general direction (he wasn't sure which Adrien was the real one, so focused somewhere between the two). He had had ENOUGH. Boi was gonna have a 'come to kwami' moment, right here, right now.

'Adriennnnn... you are the best black cat I've evver had..' he allowed his words to sink in and bring a smile to Adrien's face.. 'you're also the most infuriating and dense one I've had!' welp, so much for that smile... may as well get this over with..

'YOU are the one badylug likes, you freaking idiot. She's obsessed with you, has pictures of you all over her walls!'

"... what do you mean? Why would she keep turning me down then?"

'Not pictures of Chat NOIR, you idiot. Pictures of YOU. ABRIEN UNDRESSED. Um.. Adrien Agreste. Heh. I'm star'ing to sound like her... an.. an Sugarcube hasta... hasta put up with her moaning abou' YOU, 'cause you don't even know she likes you cuz you.. you're stuck on Badylug!!' Plagg hadn't actually slipped up on her name that time. He had started liking it and was now saying 'Badylug' intentionally. He tried to focus his eyes on the two shocked looking Adrien's sitting on the bed. Was this.. okay? Should he have told him so much? Could he have survived anymore pointless pining if he HADN'T said anything? Glancing at the empty bottle of wine, he knew the answer to that. He was doing this for all of them. Adrien, Badylug, Sugarcube, and himself.

Besides, it's not like he's telling him her identity or anything... he should be happy knowing his love loves him back, right?

Adrien blinked several times. Ladybug... liked him? Liked Adrien? No.. was obsessed with him?? Had pictures of him on her walls??

He cursed gravity for not allowing him to float up to his ceiling on a cloud of bliss.

Ladybug... loved him. And he loved Ladybug.

Wait. Ladybug loved him but he had no idea who she was. Was he ignoring her advances the way she ignored his as Chat??

"Plagg! Who is she??"

'Nuh uh, I'm not 'sposed to tell ya.'

"I know that, but.. Plagg, if she loves Adrien and doesn't give Chat a chance because of that, and what if I'm doing the same thing to her??"

'Gee. I wonder.' Plagg's sarcasm shot at Adrien, who gasped.

"Tha- that's why you've been so annoyed! You know who she is! Her kwami knows who I am, too, right?" Plagg nodded.

"So.. you two have been watching and listening to us fall apart over our love for each other and didn't think to mention any of this before NOW?"

Plagg glanced sideways at Posterbug and stage whispered 'maybe this wasn't such a good idea afferall, Badylug...' Posterbug winked at him. Yep. He had most definitely overdone it with the wine.

Boldly ignoring Adrien's rant, Plagg phased into a cupboard and curled up for a nap. Adrien will calm down, eventually. Then maybe he can stop moping about Ladybug and start paying attention to a certain girl in his class who smells like cinnamon and freshly baked bread. Plagg sighed and tuned out Adrien's attempts to open the cupboard. Plagg was no longer bored, but definitely needed a nap.

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a-lockman5 · 5 years ago

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Dirty Little Secret {Devi x Paxton}

A/N: Hooray! So after about 8.5K, I cut this one off. I like the way it ended, and it was fun to imagine a future Daxton. Thank you so much to the person that requested it! I am throwing around the idea of working on a part 2, so if I get at least 5 “upvotes” for a part 2, I will take it on.

Summary: Devi wasn’t interested in dating anymore. She wasn’t hurt or messed up from a previous relationship. She just wanted to meet a guy that made time stand still. It just didn’t happen. That is, until a man from her past walked into her office.

Warnings: Fluff, drinking/alcohol abuse, time-jump (Devi and co. are in their late 20s), forbidden love, taboo, mild burns, sexual themes - nothing explicit

Don’t forget, request/ask is open!

And check out my MASTERLIST

“Debbie, you have a new patient today,” the office manager, Barb called out, thrusting a folder into the air.

“It’s Devi,” she swiped the folder from her, “you know, like that grandson you’re always going on about.”

“Oh, sorry, dear. I keep forgetting.”

“It’s alright, Barb, thanks for grabbing this,” she turned away toward her own desk. I’ve only been working here for two and half years. Why should you have caught on by now?

Devi Vishwakumar didn’t know what she wanted for the future when she graduated nearly nine years ago. She had spent her high school career with two things on her mind: having a love life and getting to Princeton. She’d managed both. After dating Ben Gross for the entirety of their junior year, Devi and he ended things amicably largely because being friendly rivals was much more fun and somehow resulted in less legitimate fighting. Senior year, she enjoyed the company of another classmate named Tyler Herron. He was academically minded, but still a jock in his own right. He played for the soccer and basketball teams, and Devi found she received common invites to parties that previously she thought only came from her friendship with Paxton Hall-Yoshida. Eleanor and Fabiola continued to prove they were the best friends anyone could ask for, but she also learned to love Shira and Zoey. Though they often seemed more superficial than Devi thought to care for, their aspirations were just as real as Devi’s and they had minds made for business and marketing. When time came for graduation, Devi felt more seen and cared for than she ever thought she could, and that’s what she said in her valedictorian speech. She also couldn’t help throwing a jab at Ben for beating him out, but to be fair, he insinuated letting her win in his own speech.

When she arrived at Princeton the following fall, Tyler forged his own path to MIT. Devi had no intention of bringing a boyfriend into college with her and was not at all hurt when Tyler felt the same way. She did wish she’d beat him to the punch, but at least they too split mutually and were able to be friendly on social media. Being single gave Devi the opportunity to focus on what was most important – her future.

Her mother made it very clear to her, she was to pick a college major before arriving for her first semester. Not having a plan is lazy. Are you lazy, khanna? Even when her mother was thousands of miles away, Devi could hear her loud and clear in her head. Though, she found she was right. Devi had to be prepared to make decisions for herself otherwise all the work she’d put in to get to Princeton would be for nothing. She chose Biology and pursued it relentlessly.

By the time she was graduating with her bachelor’s in biology, she’d made plenty of friends during that time who helped her choose to further pursue Physical Therapy. It was funny, she often thought, how she spent so long working to move across the country for her favorite Ivy League school to then end up back in her backyard for graduate school. The University of Southern California had one the best PT programs in the country, and Devi was proud to have studied there. Her final fieldwork was assigned at OSMC, Orthopedics and Sports Medicine Calabasas. After a thrilling experience, and impressing her Clinical Instructor at every turn, she was asked to stay on after graduation. Naturally, Devi accepted.

OSMC was not only the most exclusive orthopedic surgery and rehabilitation practice in Southern California, but it was also where she felt most at home. Outside of having a coworker who passively refused to learn the correct pronunciation of her name, she was in her element every day. Plus, she got to meet some really cool people. Professional athletes, actors, stuntmen, they all came to OSMC for physical rehabilitation. Legally, she wasn’t allowed to tell anyone else that she’d personally worked with Dylan O’Brien, Diego Boneta, and Mookie Betts. She liked to remind herself of those things regularly though. Living in the LA area also allowed Devi’s relationship to improve with her mom, who finally voiced how proud she was of Devi… when she first started working. Now, she was worried that Devi would never settle down.

Devi had begged her mother not to place her in an arranged marriage when she was still studying at Princeton. The conversation actually took place at Kamala and Prashant’s wedding ceremony. It wasn’t that she didn’t think it could work – Kamala and Prashant proved that love could flourish from being set up. Devi wanted something different though. She wanted what Nalini and Mohan had. They met when they were children, and never wanted anyone else. She wanted to meet a man and feel the electricity that could make her forget her own name (like Barb seemed to do every day). Heart softened by the reminder of how Mohan had swept her off her feet, Devi’s mother agreed. That was six years ago. More recently, Nalini reminded her daughter regularly that all of the handsome driven Indian men in her age range had already been swept up, so she was on her own. She also made it very clear that grandchildren were to be in her future.

Did her mother’s constant badgering sour Devi on dating? Maybe a little bit. Did she get guys to buy her, Eleanor, and Fabiola drinks when they out only to ditch the same guys at the first opportunity? Absolutely, but what woman hadn’t done that? It had been a long time since Devi saw a man that made time stand still, and Mehcad Brooks was treated in her therapy gym.

No, Devi was not the romance obsessed teen she once was. Honestly, it’s better this way. Now, I can focus on my career, she thought. She pulled up her schedule on her laptop and noticed she didn’t have an appointment for three hours. “Hey, Barb? What time is that eval coming in?”

“Scheduled in thirty minutes!” She called back.

“Who ya got, D?” Amir, one of the physical therapy assistants, asked. “Someone rich or someone famous?”

“Go ahead and take a look, you’ll probably be seeing them next week,” Devi replied going to grab a mug of coffee.

“Hey, another Olympian. Paxton Hall-Yoshida!”

“Devi, oh my gosh, are you okay?” Hannah’s voice sounded like it was a hundred miles away. Devi didn’t come back to reality until she felt a damp towel being pressed into her arms. “Here, there’s coffee all over your leg. I don’t want you to get burns.”

Hannah was their rehabilitation technician. She helped keep things picked up, sanitized, and would provide physical assistance if they needed another set of hands during a session. At the moment, she was saving Devi from second degree burns, and cleaning up the broken ceramics from the coffee mug she’d just dropped. Hannah was right too; Devi chose the wrong day to wear a skirt and had drenched her right leg in hot coffee.

“Hannah, I’m so sorry! I don’t know what came over me,” Devi told her pressing the towel on her knee and calf with one hand and crouching down to help pick up the pieces of her mug with the other.

“Devi, I love you, but please don’t help. We don’t want you to cut your hand open,” she laughed. Devi was known to be a little clumsy. “I have a pair of scrubs with me if you want to wear them today.”

“You are a lifesaver, Hannah. I don’t care what Amir says about you!” she called over her shoulder, heading into the locker room to change into Hannah’s scrubs.

Okay, Devi, get your shit together. Maybe it’s not even the same guy. Except, of course it was. How many Paxton Hall-Yoshida’s were Olympic Swimmer’s for the US team? One. There was one. One Paxton Hall-Yoshida that Devi had routinely made a fool of herself in front of when she was in high school. Paxton Hall-Yoshida that gave her the best first kiss a girl could dream up. Before she started dating Ben, Paxton was all she thought about. Now, she was supposed to treat him? God, I feel like I’m fifteen again! she thought, kicking the lockers angrily. She had to get a grip. She had exactly twenty-two minutes to handle the situation.

After changing quickly into the burgundy colored scrubs, Devi found herself in her boss’s office. “Makayla, is there any way I can give my eval to one of the other therapists?”

“Why?” She tapped her acrylics on the desk impatiently. Makayla was notorious for being in all the gossip of the clientele in their practice. Devi knew she had to be careful telling her too much. If she knew Devi and Paxton went to high school together, the questions would never stop until Devi ended up with word vomit about both of their personal lives.

“Uh... I just spilled hot coffee on my leg, and I am feeling pretty tense from that still.”

“Alright, Devi, I’m going to level with you. This particular client asked for you specifically. Apparently, he knows one of your previous clients, and they were a satisfied customer. He will not be happy if he works with another therapist. Are we going to have a problem?”

Devi swallowed her argument about conflicts of interest and gave her boss a tight-lipped smile. “No problem. I’m flattered, obviously. Thanks.” She rose from her seat and began to back out of the office. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can do to help,” she gave a small wave and didn’t notice the way her foot caught on the door frame until it was too late.

She screwed her eyes shut, waiting for impact. It’s a reflex to reach your hands out toward the ground when falling in order to protect your head, but instead it often results in one of the most common fractures. Devi knew her bottom and back could take a fall and so she resisted the urge to catch herself, but that didn’t mean she was looking forward to meeting the floor.

Except she didn’t hit the floor. “Woah!” she heard man’s voice shout before she was caught by a strong arm. “Good thing you got my good side.”

When she opened her eyes, there he was. Holding her in mid-air with one arm, Paxton Hall-Yoshida smiled down at Devi like Christmas had come early. He gingerly aided her back to a standing position, and she tried to ignore how he bit his lip and smirked at her. Man, he had not changed a bit, except that somehow, he looked stronger and more handsome than the last time she’d seen him.

“Oh, thank goodness. We didn’t need Danni getting hurt again!” Barb giggled from behind the front desk. Devi opened her mouth to correct the office manager again but didn’t manage to get the words out before Paxton.

“It’s Devi,” he told Barb. “D-e-v-i; it means goddess.”

“Oh!” Barb smiled like it was the first time she’d heard Devi’s name. “Well, thank you, young man. This goddess is your physical therapist today.”

“Lucky me,” he grinned. “Lead the way, Dr. Vishwakumar.”

It was all Devi could do to stop the heat from coloring her cheeks as she led Paxton through the therapy gym to one of the exam rooms in the back. No one interrupted them or disrupted their course. That was an expectation of working in an office with so many VIP clients. Professionalism came first, and Devi kept blasting that in her head. Be professional. Be professional.

Once they reached the exam room, she stopped at the open door and gestured for him to enter ahead of her. She tried to stop herself from checking out his backside, but the high school sophomore in her won the battle. And just like when they were in high school, this boy – nay – this man had an amazing way of filling out clothing that would otherwise be loose fitting. God, he looked good.

When she looked up, she was glad his back was still to her. For the first time, possibly in her entire life, Paxton didn’t catch her in an embarrassing moment. “So, Mr. Hall-Yoshida, why don’t you take a seat and” –

She was cut off by his soft laughter. “Come here, Devi,” he said, pulling her into a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

She found herself returning his embrace, and it actually helped her relax a little. “It’s good to see you too, Paxton,” she told him when she pulled away a moment later. “How long has it been?”

His eyes squinted over her shoulder as he thought about her question. “Ben Gross’s Christmas party 2022, right? Eight years?”

Somehow, in that moment, it felt like yesterday. “Yeah, that’s right. The one party at Ben’s that didn’t end with me in the deep end of the pool,” she grinned.

His eyes raked over her for a moment, so intense that she chose to turn away and grab his chart to distract herself. Then he laughed again. “At least sometimes it was on purpose.”

“Yes, not all of us are as graceful in the water as the Paxton H.Y.” she smiled up from his paperwork. “Alright, we could catch up for hours, but we have to get your evaluation done. Tell me what’s going on with your shoulder.”

Paxton smirked, but nodded and did not argue with moving on into the session. He explained his sudden onset of pain during a training session. Sharp pain. He noticed more during strokes or overhead activity. It was difficult to sleep on that shoulder, but otherwise, if he wasn’t using it, he didn’t have pain. Everything Paxton told her confirmed what the orthopedist had diagnosed: shoulder impingement syndrome. Just to cover her bases, Devi confirmed positive results for Neer’s and Hawkins’ tests. He demonstrated mild weakness in the affected shoulder, and pain seemed to onset just at approximately 100 degrees of flexion.

“Okay, looks like you saw Doctor… Matthews? Did he explain this to you?”

“Not really… he said I’m pinching a muscle in my rotator cuff?”

“Kind of, more like a tendon,” Devi said grabbing a model off the counter. “So, you know how this is a ‘ball and socket’ joint so to speak. Normally, you have full range of motion and the ball rotates in the socket without any pain or stiffness,” she explained demonstrating the normal range of shoulder flexion. “Right now, you have some inflammation in the space between the ball and socket, so whenever you raise your arm above shoulder level, there isn’t enough space for the joint to rotate normally. Because of that, you pinch that tendon, it hurts and causes more inflammation, and then the next time you raise your arm, you’ll pinch the tendon, it’ll hurt and cause inflammation, and so on.”

“So… every time I raise my arm… like on every stroke, I make it worse?” he asked, his forehead furrowing.

“Not really, but you’re not making it any better. Every time you raise your arm above shoulder level, you’re basically reinjuring it. Don’t worry though, we can fix it.”

“Dr. Matthews didn’t think I would need surgery.”

“Oh, god no, and I would never do surgery. A – out of my scope of practice, B – can you imagine me with a scalpel and a living, breathing person? Bad idea.”

She smiled when he started laughing. This was Devi’s favorite part of her job. She had many A list clients walk into her office, and there was always a level of fear that they wouldn’t be able to reach 100% again. Sometimes, it was true. Devi liked being able to alleviate that fear and make people as comfortable as possible though. Paxton was no different. He’s just another client, she told herself, and continued in her explanation.

“See the reason it keeps happening is because you’re not giving the inflammation a chance to go down. Between swimming, lifting, and day to day activities, your arm goes over your head a lot. First thing we have to do is, limit that.”

“So, I can’t swim?”

“Not unless you can do it with your left arm by your side,” her head tilted in sympathy. “It’s not forever though. I want you to keep your arm below 90 degrees of flexion – below shoulder level for four weeks and I want you to complete these exercises every day, two to three times per day,” she pulled her pre-assembled shoulder impingement program out of a binder. “I want you here twice a week and we’ll follow up on your progress.”

“That’s it?”

“Yeah,” she shrugged. “If you seem like you need more attention, then we’ll add a session weekly. Honestly, Paxton, this is a really common injury, especially for swimmers. It’s known as ‘swimmer’s shoulder.’ You’ll be back in the pool in plenty of time to qualify for 2032.”

He smiled warmly at her, and she could see his stress deflating. “Thanks, that is really good news.” He stood from his seat and advanced toward her before catching himself, “Can I hug you again?”

She grinned. “As long as you keep your arm below 90 degrees.”

She saw a spark in his eyes as he thought of a retort, but his expression changed to his easy smirk and he nodded. “Deal. Thanks, Devi,” he said as he pulled her into him.

“So, we’re done, and I can go?” he seemed nervous.

“Yeah, I have another patient in,” she glanced at her watch, “thirty minutes? Wow, I thought this was a quick one.”

“What time do you get off?”

“My last appointment is from 4:00 to 4:45 this afternoon.”

“Let’s get dinner tonight. Are you busy?”

Was he asking her on a date? No, just as friends to reconnect. Still, she had to keep things professional. Dot the T’s, cross the I’s – “What?” Nailed it.

He exhaled in a gentle laugh, his right arm reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. “I, umm, I asked you to have dinner with me.”

“Like a date?”

He stared at the floor, another laugh escaping him. “Yeah, Devi, like a date.”

To be honest, she was a little angry with him for this. “Paxton, I can’t.”

“Devi, come on. It doesn’t have to be a big thing. It doesn’t even have to be a date! Just two friends, catching up.”

She opened the door, attempting to usher him out. “That would be hugely unethical, Paxton. If you wanted to ask me out, you shouldn’t have handpicked me to be your therapist. I can’t date one of my clients.”

He opened his mouth to argue, but then closed it again with a nod. “You’re right, I’m sorry, Dr. Vishwakumar. I didn’t mean to offend you. Thanks for all your help today. I’ll see you next week,” he told her. It would have seemed respectful or sincere if he hadn’t smirked the whole time. He was already at the front desk, presumably scheduling his next appointment when Devi reached her desk. He turned, his eyes settling on her immediately. “Oh and, Dr. Vishwakumar, you look good in that color,” he said with a smile that made her knees weak.

“Devi, he was flirting with you!” Hannah rushed to her side once he was gone.

“Lucky me,” she grimaced, pulling her phone from her desk drawer.

*We’re getting drinks tonight.. Actually we’re going out. Get hot.*

***

“So why are we going out tonight?” Fabiola asked, pouring shots of tequila in her kitchenette.

Fabiola had a cozy apartment in Koreatown. After receiving her degree in mechanical engineering from UC Berkeley, she received an entry-level job at Aldrin Corp. Within a few years, and some well-timed retirements, Fabiola was promoted to Senior Project Engineer. It was a job that was made for her. She often said she felt she was more hands on than previous SPE’s she’d worked for, but it also gained her the respect of her subordinates and made meeting deadlines that much easier. Her salary allowed her to not only afford this apartment near downtown LA, but to keep saving. Devi thought even with Eleanor climbing the ranks in her own field, Fabiola would be the first to have a suburban home like they’d all grown up in. For now though, she’d have the apartment closest to the clubs, and would be their pre-game hub.

“Yeah, you’re lucky you picked tonight. I had an early table read this morning, but I don’t have to be on set again until Sunday,” Eleanor agreed, touching up her eyeshadow.

“You will not believe who walked into my office today,” Devi groaned, leaving the bathroom to meet Fabiola at the counter. She swiped a shot off the counter and downed it with a wince.

“What about the salt and lime?” her friend asked in outrage. “I cut fresh lime for you!”

Devi grabbed a wedge and bit the flesh out and Fabiola nodded curtly. “I’ll use the salt for the next one.”

“So, who was it?” Eleanor asked, gliding out of the bathroom to join them. “Was it Sebastian? I know he’s almost 50, but I don’t know how you didn’t go home with him at the last premier party.”

Eleanor was a successful actress. She wasn’t a leading lady yet. She was gaining a lot of clout though. Enough clout to be at premier parties with Sebastian Stan… and Amandla Stenberg… and Tom Holland. Her phone was full of A-list stars and she was not legally obligated to keep her mouth shut about any time she spent with them. She very thoughtfully brought Devi and Fabiola to her premier parties as her guests, and that meant that they met a lot of A-list stars too.

“It was not Sebastian Stan,” Devi rolled her eyes, “and I’ll remind you, he texted you the next day asking you to thank me for calling his driver to come get him, remember? He was plastered and did not need to wake up with a stranger in bed with him.”

“Yeah, he’s really shy and private about his personal life. That fruit basket he sent you was intense.”

“Hello, losing focus,” Fabiola redirected while refilling Devi’s shot glass. “Who came in today?”

Devi groaned as she remembered her obligation to patient privacy. “I can’t tell you. Stupid HIPAA. What I can tell you is, he asked me out at the end of the session.” Eleanor and Fabiola grinned at each other before turning their grins on Devi. “What?”

“You wanted to say yes!” they said in unison.

“What? No, I didn’t. I’m dreading seeing this guy again next week.”

“No, you’re not! You’ve told us tons of stories of your patients flirting with you and your coworkers. Never once has it prickled you to the point of wanting to go get hammered in a nightclub.”

“Fabiola’s right! You’re fantasizing about getting with this guy in the exam room like on Grey’s. God, will that show ever not be relevant?”

“The point is the reason this has you tweaking is because you know you can’t do it.”

“Shut up, you guys suck.” Devi said, preparing a salt strip on her wrist for another shot.

“So, give him to another therapist so he isn’t your patient.”

“I tried before he even walked in, but Makayla said he asked for me specifically. She said something about how he knew another satisfied client.”

“Why is your job so sexual?” Eleanor laughed to which Devi glared. “Sorry, I’m sure all of your clients are satisfied.”

“You’re the worst,” Devi laughed, grabbing a lime wedge and thrusting the saltshaker into Fabiola’s hand. “Now are we pre-gaming or what?”

After more than enough shots resulted in finishing off the bottle in record time, Eleanor called for a car. The girls piled in, giggling a lot more than they had been a half hour prior. Fabiola insisted on controlling the music, though no one argued. Fab had an excellent knack for reading the energy and picking the perfect soundtrack. At least normally. This time, what she thought to be a great throwback jam, took Devi back eight years to a time that would only increase her anxiety to think about. 2022, Ben Gross’s Christmas Party.

***

“Coyote girl!”

“Hey, Trent,” Devi smiled meeting him and Paxton by the punch bowl. “You didn’t dip your balls in this again, did you?”

“Come on, Devi, I’m in college now. Would I do that?”

She looked between Trent and Paxton: Trent attempting to look way too innocent, Paxton analyzing him just as much as Devi. Suddenly, he turned to Devi. “You know what? I brought a bottle of Jack. It’s in the fridge. I’ll share with you.”

Devi smiled in gratitude as Paxton led her inside. “So, you’re drinking?”

He smiled. “We get a break from meets during Christmas break, so I figure once or twice won’t hurt.”

“David!” she heard as soon as she and Paxton entered the kitchen. The moment they started dating, Devi told Ben that the ‘nickname’ bothered her. He almost never used it anymore, but he was obviously drunk. “Wait, no sorry. Devi!”

“What’s up, man?” Paxton fist bumped Ben. “I don’t trust Trent, so Devi is drinking my stuff. Cool?”

“Cool, man, and thanks for the heads up. If you don’t trust Trent, I don’t trust Trent.”

Ben and Paxton had reached a relationship of friendly acquaintances by the time Paxton graduated. It had been a necessity when Ben tutored Paxton in order to meet the requirements for his swim scholarship to Stanford. At the time, it brought Devi mixed feelings. Being a few years removed from the drama of her sophomore year, it was nice they could all just hangout without it being weird.

“So, Ben, I gotta know. Why are you having a Christmas party?” Devi asked. “You don’t celebrate Christmas.”

“True, but you can’t throw a party over winter break without accepting that people are going to call it a Christmas party, and expecting half the guests to wear ugly sweaters whether it’s required or not,” Ben explained, only slightly tripping over his words. “I just steer into the skid.”

Devi and Paxton grinned at him before laughing. “Hey, whatever. It’s a dope party, and you guys are just too sober to appreciate it,” he accused good-naturedly, pulling a bottle of Jack Daniels out of the refrigerator. “Get moving and come find me when you’re on this level. Unless I’m with Emma, then come back later.”

“Emma?”

“His girlfriend. She’s wicked smart, and she even convinced his parents to be at parents’ weekend. They’ll probably get married,” Devi told him as Ben went back outside.

“I’m sorry, do you go to school in New Jersey or Boston?” he teased.

“What?”

“You’re turning into a New Englander, Vishwakumar,” he told her, taking a pull of the Jack. He stepped in close enough to her that she could feel the heat radiating off him.

“I am not,” she laughed taking the bottle from him and taking a pull of her own. She coughed a little as it went down causing him to smirk. “I don’t usually drink whiskey.”

“Here,” he turned to the fridge and grabbed a soda. “Chase with coke, it helps.”

Just as she went to open the can, a group of people came in, immediately crowding them because they were going to use the island for a game of quarters. At least, that’s what she was able to glean from the drunken shouts of her old classmates. She felt an arm wind around her waist and looked up at Paxton – her chest practically pressed against his.

“Hey, you want to catch up to get drunk or catch up with a friend?” he leaned down to speak in her ear.

“How about both?” she smiled, grabbing the bottle of Jack and slipping through the crowd with Paxton close behind.

“Devi, come on! Catch up!” she came back to reality to have Eleanor thrusting one of the mini fireball bottles she’d shoved in her purse into Devi’s hand.

“I hate fireball,” she groaned.

“Fireball!” her friends shouted, and they all downed a bottle.

“Ladies, we’re here.”

“Okay, okay, one more for the club,” Devi insisted.

With a cheer, all three girls shot another small bottle of fireball. After tipping the driver, Eleanor led them past the line and walked straight up to the bouncer.

“Ladies,” the man smiled. “You on the list?”

“Eleanor Wong,” she stated her name with a flutter of her eyelashes.

He was silent as he skimmed his clipboard. “I don’t see it…” he trailed off, looking up at Eleanor, “but hey, aren’t you in that new spy thriller with Michael B. Jordan?”

Her eyes lit up, “Yes! Shot for Death! Tom keeps saying I’ll get used to being recognized, but it’s such a rush! Oh, here he is now,” she held a finger up to the stout but muscular man as she answered a phone call. “Hello darling,” she said with a flourish. “We’re outside, but he says I’m not on the list. Could you?”

Within seconds, Tom Holland popped his head out the door. “Mal, they’re with me. They’re under my name.”

“My apologies, ladies. Head on in, and I can’t wait to see you on the big screen again, Ms. Wong.”

“Thank you!” she blew him a kiss as the girls hurried inside.

Tom and Eleanor greeted each other with a hug as Devi and Fabiola wandered over to the bar. When Eleanor first made friends with some prominent stars, Devi was star struck regularly. As she got more into her career, and treated more and more celebrities, she began to get used to being in their presence.

“Drinks or shots?” Fabiola shouted over the music.

“Shot for me and then I’m going to dance.”

“Yes, girl!” Fabiola pounded the bar, gaining the attention of one of the bartenders. “Can we get three B-52s?”

“Make it four and put it on my tab,” a man’s voice called from beside Devi. Her initial thought was that Eleanor and Tom had caught up to them, but it clicked almost immediately that the accent was distinctly American. And then it clicked again that she would recognize that voice anywhere.

“What are you doing here?” she wheeled around on him.

“I’m out with some friends. What are you doing here, doctor? Are you following me?”

“Paxton?” Fabiola caught his eye past Devi.

“Hey, Fabiola,” he grinned. “Good to see you!”

“Same,” she smiled back. “I didn’t know you were in town?”

“Yeah, I’m home for some physical therapy,” he shouted gesturing to his shoulder.

It took Fabiola exactly no time to connect the dots, and Devi could feel it. Instead of looking at either of her current companions, she accepted the shots from the bartender with as much gratitude as she could muster. Devi carefully pushed a shot to her left and then to her right, clutching the remaining shots tightly.

“I’ll go give Eleanor hers.”

“Nope,” Fab cut off her escape and plucked the extra shot out of her hand. “I’ll do that. You take yours and go dance!”

“Oh, I’ll cheers to that,” Paxton said, leaning forward so she could hear him. “Come dance with me.”

Maybe it was alcohol from their successful pregaming clouding her judgment, or maybe it was the way she could lose herself in Paxton’s gaze just as easily as when she was fifteen years old, but Devi couldn’t stop herself from nodding and clinking her glass against his as they downed the shots in unison. He smirked at her, grasping her hand gently and leading her to the dancefloor.

It was crowded already, but so many of the people here loved that paparazzi never got in, and they could cut loose. Devi loved that atmosphere. Under the flashing lights, music pumping so loud you can’t hear anything else, dancing with friends, or a guy she would be way too nervous to talk to otherwise – it all just made her feel alive. She felt that same adrenaline as Paxton kept his left hand firmly on her hip but did not pull her into him. Instead, he left just enough space between them for things to be innocent.

As the beat dropped on a new mix, Devi felt Paxton’s hand like an anchor. They locked eyes for a moment, and she swore she could feel the energy crackling between them. The corner of his mouth quirked up, gaze never leaving hers. This man asked her on a date that morning. The man she’d so desperately wanted as a teenager – the man that she nearly idolized and seemed so unattainable in her youth was the same man in front of her, the one looking at her like pure sex. The thought had a laugh bubbling up in her that she couldn’t stop. Full belly laughter overtook her as she bounced and swayed to the music and just lost herself.

She wasn’t sure how much time past, but at some point, Eleanor and Fabiola joined them. The music had shifted from EDM to a mix of the most beloved hip hop music from ten to fifteen years ago. As intended, that shift had more people pouring onto the dancefloor, and having any space to breathe was impossible. To Devi, it was perfect. The beat was pulsing so loud, it felt like her own heartbeat, and the familiar music was lending to everyone’s closet-love for karaoke as people around her belted the lyrics. Then she felt two hands at her hips pulling her slightly backwards to dance against a man’s chest. Normally, she didn’t mind dancing with strangers. As long as they didn’t get too handsy, she didn’t even mind the approach this guy took. Tonight, things felt different. Her eyes flew open, and immediately met Paxton’s. His look was calculating. He wasn’t going to stop her if this was what she wanted.

The thought brought an easy grin to her face as she reached a hand out toward him. His lips twitched into a crooked grin, but he met her hand and spun her into him. In that moment, time stood still. Devi didn’t notice who had approached her before Paxton’s rescue. She wasn’t sure if Fabiola and Eleanor were still on the floor with them. All she knew was that her back was pressed against Paxton’s chest, and it felt like she belonged there. They swayed to the music together, and she felt his left hand rest on her hip again. His other hand swept the hair off her right shoulder, and she felt him press tighter against her.

“What do you want from me, Devi?” he asked, his breath hot on her neck.

“You’re not dating anyone?” she asked disbelievingly. “Not at all, not even one-night stands?”

They were sitting in Ben’s theater room on the floor passing the significantly less full bottle of Jack between them. It was nice. It was easy. The awkwardness of what happened in high school long behind them.

“Hey, I have never had a one-night stand,” he pointed at her. “Have you?”

“Well, no, but I’m me and you’re you,” she laughed.

“What does that mean?” his eyes narrowed at her good-naturedly as he took another pull from the bottle of Jack and passed it back to her.

“I just mean, one of us probably has people lining up to sleep with them, and the other one is me,” she shrugged.

“Why would you even say that? Have you looked in a mirror?”

“Come on, stop, I didn’t mean” –

“I’m serious, Devi. You are a very weird girl, like that’s your brand, but it’s hot. You’re hot. If you really think guys aren’t interested in you, you’re not paying attention.”

“Stop,” she waved him off, cheeks burning hot red. “You don’t have to do that.”

He was scooting closer to her until their thighs were touching, and his gaze was searching hers looking for any hesitation. “I know. I don’t have to do anything. You know what I want to do?”

Her skin tingled under his stare, and she shook her head ‘no.’ Her stomach somersaulted when he reached a hand up to cradle her jaw. “I want show you how beautiful you are.”

Devi turned in his embrace, draping her hands around his neck. Paxton’s head immediately fell to the crook of her neck, and she played with the hair at the nape of his neck as she leaned into his ear. “I want you to show me how beautiful I am.”

His head snapped up and he pulled back to look her in the eye. His jaw had gone slack, and he was looking at her with such curiosity that it made her second guess herself. Maybe he wasn’t interested after all. Maybe he’d just been swept up in not seeing her after so long that morning. Maybe he just wanted to see if he could still get her to fall at his feet. Maybe this was just a game to him. She started to unwind her arms from him to escape her embarrassment when he pressed one of her arms down to stay in place around him. His other hand was firmly pressed against the small of her back.

“Let’s get a drink,” he suggested, waiting for her confirmation. When she nodded, he took her hand off his shoulder, pressed a kiss against the back, and led her from the dancefloor back to the bar.

“What are you drinking?”

“Whiskey sour,” she told him.

“Thought you didn’t drink whiskey?” he grinned.

“Things change.”

When their drinks were made, he nodded to a staircase, and she set off toward it with him close behind. The upper room was a quieter atmosphere. Tables and chairs, booths, a pool table – it was a great offset from the chaos downstairs. He placed their drinks down on a booth, and she slid into one side expecting him to slide in opposite her. Instead, he slid in next to her.

“Paxton, look I’m sorry if I misread things, I just” –

He placed a hand on her knee. “No, don’t do that. You didn’t misread anything. Just tell me why you said that exactly?”

***

Devi woke to the feeling of a hammer slamming against her skull. She could feel the sunlight piercing through her eyelids, making her roll over and press her face harder against her pillow. She heard a toilet flush, and that prompted her to inspect her surroundings a bit more closely. Blearily, she moved to a sitting position as the faucet in the bathroom ran. It was her apartment, that much she could tell. Maybe Eleanor and Fabiola decided to come back here? Fabiola lived closest to the club. That was why they pre-gamed at her place. Why would they come back to her place? Was she the only one coherent enough to call for a ride? With the way she felt this morning, that was unlikely. No, so who was using her bathroom and whistling as they walked down the hallway?

She grabbed her phone off the nightstand and unplugged it from the charger. She had a few unread messages in her group text with her friends.

*Let us know when you wake up this morning, we want to hear all the dirty details!*

*Also, avocado is a great hangover food!*

The dirty details? What did Devi do? So much of the previous night was a blur. At least she has clothes on – one of her dad’s old t-shirts and a pair of pajama shorts. That had a to be sign that she didn’t do anything too stupid. So, who was out there?

Only one way to find out, she thought, hoisting herself out of bed. She stepped out of her bedroom, and immediately smelled eggs. Devi padded down the hallway to the kitchen, and there was a steaming cast iron skillet sitting on a hot pad at the breakfast bar. No one was in the kitchen though.

“Hey, you’re up!” a voice cheered from behind her. Devi whirled around to the living room, to see Paxton on her couch carefully stretching one arm over the other shoulder.

“Jesus! Paxton, what are you doing?”

He tilted his head at her with a quizzical look. “I’m doing my shoulder exercises. You’re the one that assigned them.”

“Not that!” she couldn’t help but holler at him. “What are you doing in my apartment?”

He opened his mouth to respond, but then closed it again. His arms fell to his sides. “You actually demanded that I come here.”

“What?” her eyes went wide as she did her best to recall the events of last night. “Did we…?”

He started laughing as he stepped past her and behind the breakfast bar. “I knew you were too drunk to remember. No, we did not have sex. You were mad at me for that last night by the way.”

“No…” she trailed off taking a seat at the breakfast bar.

“Oh yeah, I told you I was going to take the couch, and you said you’d been waiting like ten years to see whether or not I stuff my swim briefs,” he smirked. “I don’t, in case you’re still wondering.”

“Oh my god,” this new information and the headache still throbbing against her skull was enough to make her vomit. Instead, she just dropped her head to the counter, the pressure soothing against her forehead.

“Come on, it’s not that bad. It was cute… in a very Devi way,” he brushed her arm gently. “Sit up, you need to eat.”

She shifted her head slightly to meet his eye. “I yelled at you for not showing me your dick, and you stayed the night and made me breakfast.”

“Yeah, I had to make sure you were okay,” his eyes warmed to hers. “Now, sit up and eat.”

She obeyed and smiled when he pushed a loaded plate toward her. “This looks awesome.”

“Yeah, I had to work with what you had, but I call it a southwest sweet potato hash,” he told her proudly. After loading up his own plate, he came around the breakfast bar to sit next to her.

“So, anything else I should know about last night?”

“Well,” he paused to swallow a bite of food, “what’s the last thing you remember?”

She thought about the events of the previous night, as Paxton hopped up again.His energized movements distracting her, she asked, “Are you not hungover at all?”

“Based on what you told me, I had a lot less to drink last night than you did, so no, I’m not,” she heard him reply. She was staring at her plate because too much movement made her nauseated.

“You didn’t happen to make” –

“Coffee,” he cut her off happily, placing the mug in front of her, “and here’s some Tylenol. I was looking for blowfish or something but doesn’t look like you have any.”

She gratefully took the little pills from him and threw them back with a swig of coffee. “I used to. I stopped getting hungover for a while too.”

“Why’d you go so hard last night?”

“I think you know why,” she said with a glare.

He pursed his lips in a pout before choosing to ignore her implication and coming back to sit with her with his own cup of coffee. “So, what do you remember from last night?”

“I remember dancing with you on the dance floor.”

“Anyone else? Eleanor, Fab, some dude that I’m pretty sure was Lucas Hedges?”

“Okay, yeah. Some guy started dancing on me, and I wanted to dance with you instead,” she replied casually, continuing her breakfast.

“Nothing else? You don’t remember going to the upper room to talk about what happened at Ben’s party?”

“We talked about Ben’s party?”

“Well, yeah, funny thing is, I didn’t remember that,” he told her with a nostalgic grin. “Like I remembered it, but I thought I dreamt some of it.”

“What? Like what?”

“Well you were gone when I woke up, and never said anything about it so I thought…”

“You thought you dreamt making out with me?”

“Well, see so that’s all we did? It’s hard, because when I’ve dreamt about it since then…” he trailed off, the tips of his ears turning pink at his own admission.

“You’ve dreamt about it since then?”

“Not like a ton… it’s not like I’ve dreamt about you every night for the last eight years, that would be kinda creepy probably. Just any time something reminds me of you, it seems to come up… high school, something about Gross in the news… seeing you on social media… it’s not that weird.”

“Paxton…”

“I mean, whatever, I know I’m going to dream about last night for a long time,” he winked. She didn’t understand how he could have so little shame. Then she remembered she had enough to go around. “You made it your mission to remind me of every dirty detail of that night at Ben’s.”

“We made out last night?”

“We started to, yeah. Instead of getting hot and heavy, you ran off to the bathroom, and I found you with your head in a urinal. That’s when it was time to go home.”

“And that’s what you’re going to dream about?” she scoffed.

“No, I’m going to dream about you pawing at my zipper yelling about pringle cans.” He settled into a close-lipped smile, but it didn’t hide the mirth in his eyes.

“Oh my god,” Devi groaned, slipping off her stool to flop over onto the couch.

She could hear Paxton laughing. Soon, he was settled on the couch with her. She turned her body just enough to catch his eye, and he patted his lap. She rolled her eyes but stretched out so her head was on his thigh and she was looking up at him. His features were soft, gentle, caring.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he told her softly, one hand carding through her hair. “I don’t mind when you act like you like me.”

“I’m not acting,” her eyes fell shut, feeling his fingers stroke her scalp could lull her to sleep.

“Yeah?”

She hummed an affirmative. She was pretty sure if he kept scratching her head like that, she’d say yes to anything. And of course, she liked him. She was never able to truly deny that fact. Even when she’d had boyfriends, she’d be lying if Paxton wasn’t always lingering in the back of her mind. How could he not be? His appearance was god-like. He was beyond hiding behind words – if she was honest, that was her favorite part – he wasn’t afraid to be real with her. And he never gave up on her. As rocky as their friendship had started, as often as they lost touch, here he was telling her, he still thought about her.

“I’m glad you’re here,” she almost whispered.

“Me too.”

She felt his hand trace the edge of her face, and couldn’t stop herself from leaning into his touch, and pressing a kiss to his palm. Somehow, it was comfortable, intimate. She felt like she was born to be here. The same thought she had eight years ago came back to the forefront of her mind: It’s always been Paxton. At that realization, her eyes popped open. He’d leaned his head back, eyes closed; he looked as close to dozing off as she felt moments ago. His lips formed a peaceful grin, just slightly curved upwards, and his two small moles pinning opposite corners of his mouth were barely shadowed by the growth of his facial hair overnight. His long eyelashes curled naturally in a way, Devi thought, women would kill for. She always knew he was hot, but she never really took the time to notice how beautiful he was.

Before she could stop herself, before she could think twice, Devi leaned up and pressed her lips to his. And time stood still. Just as she was going to pull away again, his hand found hold in her hair, and his lips moved over hers with fervor. She wasn’t sure who opened to the other first, but in a flash their tongues were dueling for dominance. Instead of admitting defeat, Devi pulled his bottom lip between her teeth and bit down. He, honest to god, whimpered in response. She smiled against mouth before he swallowed her smile with one, two, and then three slow languid kisses. He pulled away, pressed her to his chest that she could feel was heaving. When she looked up to meet his eye, they were closed again, but he wore the most breathtaking smile she’d ever seen.

“Mm... I want to take my time with you,” he told her, pressing another kiss to her lips. She blushed at his implication. “God, I am not going to forget this any time soon.”

“Mood, my guy. Big mood,” she agreed, sitting up next to him.

He turned so he was halfway facing her, and his left hand took refuge on her thigh. “Can I ask you something?” he asked, waiting for her nod before continuing. “Okay, I don’t want to pop this, like, bubble we’re in right now, but… what does this mean going forward?”

“Paxton…” her eyes softened. She knew what she wanted, but with her job, how could she…

“Devi, listen. I know it’s my fault that you’re my therapist. I know that I made this difficult, but I really just wanted to see you, and now? I know one thing for sure, I really don’t want to wait another eight years to kiss you again.” he sighed, and repositioned again so he was fully facing her, clasping her hands in his. “I’ll wait for four weeks if it’ll make you happy. I’ll be your dirty little secret if that’s what you want. Just don’t turn me down. Let me take you to dinner, bring you flowers, make you soup when you’re sick. Give me a chance to sweep you off your feet.”

“Honestly, I’m stuck on ‘dirty little secret.’”

He smirked. “Lingering looks… shirtless assessments… secret dates… secret hookups,” he told her sensually, pausing between each suggestion to press a kiss first to her lips, then the corner of her mouth, her jaw, and finally ended by sucking her earlobe into his mouth and dragging his teeth over it. She shuddered under him, and felt him smile against her neck. “Do you like that idea?”

“Oh, fuck yeah.”

#never have i ever #never have i ever netflix #nhie #nhie netflix #daxton #dexton #devi vishwakumar #paxton hall yoshida #paxton hall-yoshida #paxton h y #devi x paxton #paxton x devi #writing #daxton fluff #dexton fluff #paxton hall yoshida fluff

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falkenscreen · 4 years ago

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Star Trek: Voyager

Yes this show ended some time ago; that doesn’t mean that it’s not still underrated.

A relative late convert to Star Trek, this author committed to traversing the Delta Quadrant having finished The Original Series, The Next Generation, Discovery & Picard to date. Deep Space Nine is next; like the Doctor I don’t know anything about this ‘Dominion’ but they seem important and we’ll get there.

Having now finished Voyager, here’s the (spoiler-filled) thoughts of someone who came to the bridge afresh and savoured the light-hearted nature of the show. Yes TNG demanded more attention and the episodes herein that do are generally better, but for relaxed, semi-serialised adventure Voyager is a high point.

We’ll start with the negative and get to the fun stuff.

From the get-go there was a jarring disconnect between the premise and goals of the show. If a ship more advanced than any in the region is travelling really fast in one direction they’re not going to keep running into the same people; better begetting a saga poised for episodic rather than serialised fiction. The writers and audience were evidently a little tired at this point of TNG’s slavish devotion to wrapping everything up in 40-odd minutes so wanted to try variations on a theme; it was the right approach for the time accompanied by a smart premise that didn’t match.

And a stellar premise it was only set to be buoyed by the Federation-Marquis dynamic. Also partly squandered, corresponding grounds for strong tension and stories were left by the wayside – characterised by Chakotay’s ill-established, apparently immediate and seemingly endless trust in Janeway; together major failings of the show.

On continuity, and just so it’s out of the way; no they don’t show it but it’s clear the crew just manufactured more photon torpedoes like they did so much else.

Commencing with one of the best episodes, there is rarely a subsequent moment as character-defining as Janeway destroying the array. Don’t get me wrong, Kate Mulgrew is great, but she alike Kirk and Picard are, as fleshed out as they become, for stretches bare variations on a tired theme; young headstrong hotshot dedicates their life to the stars to become a reasoned, seasoned Commander. ‘Tapestry’ did it best and there was no need to explore this further.

Voyager had a general problem with characters that took several seasons to grow; it was a long time before Neelix stopped being grating and his earnestness became endearing. There is too very little you can relay about Tuvak beyond his being a Vulcan and a little sardonic, or Harry besides his yearning for advancement or Chakotay aside his membership of the Marquis and focus on his cultural background.

The stand-out worst episode of the entire show was Chakotay finding out that the Sky Spirits central to his people’s religion were actually from the Delta Quadrant; you can garner Robert Beltran’s clear ambivalence (at best) to such material. This author is aware of the significant tension between the actor and others on set; I can understand the frustration at a lead cast member belittling the series in public but the directions and emphasis the character took in later seasons was something else, as were the music cues whenever his or some others’ cultures came up.

Star Trek, and notably The Original Series, is often (but not always) shrewd for both telling stories addressing the place of culture, religion and community in people’s lives while not overly if at all drawing attention to particular characters’ backgrounds. To Beltran’s credit, he only made the disaffection perceptible on screen in the episodes that were of poor taste, as opposed to the ones that were just bad. There are many lousy episodes of The Original Series but what near always makes it enjoyable is Shatner et al’s absolute commitment to the bit. One of the very worst episodes of Voyager is the one where Harry is lead to believe that he’s actually from a planet in the Delta Quadrant full of attractive women; yet no one in Star Trek ever needs to look bored reading their lines. There are good ones and bad ones and we’re along for the whole ride.

There’s also that one where Tom and the Captain turn into salamanders, start life on a random planet and somehow transform back into their usual selves with these shenanigans never brought up again. Yeah that was awful but it was preceded by a generally decent few acts centred on exceeding warp limits; reputation aside it wasn’t quite down there.

On Alpha Quadrant folks being in the Delta Quadrant, as much as I missed the Klingons they did not need to rock up latently and near the very end; there were plenty of better ways to give B’Elanna an arc. One of the more interesting characters, she offered a variation on Worf’s overwhelming pride as a Klingon, though she barely got enough episodes to shine and these were predominantly featured much later on. And when the show stopped pretending Tom was the cocky pilot we’ve seen dozens of times before he too managed to get a whole lot more interesting.

It would have made a lot more sense for McNeill to just directly continue his character from TNG’s ‘The First Duty;’ alas.

Also welcome were the insights into the Borg; even if they became a lot less eerie it was great to learn that much more about them, though nothing, save the introduction of Seven, bettered the recuperating drones who were the ship’s first Borg encounter. The Borg children were also very funny (the related Voyager pick-ups in Picard were excellent) and should have stayed on the ship longer so Seven could say more things like “fun will now commence;” she can only say “Naomi Wildman” deadpan, as good as it was, so many times.

Heralded by such a superb actress, Seven and the Doctor thrillingly shared dual arcs akin but distinct to Data’s and each other’s, permitting us to relish their gradual growth and revel in their leaps forward. Seven’s narrowing down of eligible crewmen, unlike Chakotay’s later courting, was a particular highlight, as was her month of isolation when the crew were in stasis and the one where the Doctor overtook her node.

The Doctor however emerges the best character, far and above all others save the near as interesting Seven. Picardo’s charisma and stage presence, well-befitting an exaggeratedly humanistic, bombastic piece of programming, only propelled the most relatable arcs in the series; his desire to fit in and, as any, make a contribution. The Doctor’s opening number in ‘Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy,’ but one occasion where Picardo’s vocal abilities were graciously integrated into the series, by this author’s judgement is the funniest sequence in seven seasons.

‘Message in a Bottle’ with the Doctor centre was too among the very best of the series. Mining any opportunity for comedy we can nonetheless be grateful, alike TNG, that they kept the bald jokes to about one per season.

As asides, it was lovely to see Reginald Barclay return and realise his aspirations in one of the best and most heart-warming episodes of the saga, while the singular and very obvious inspiration one episode draws from Predator proved amusing for just being so unabashed.

‘Scorpion’ was amazing as was anything to do with Species 8472. Captain Proton, acknowledging the entire franchise’s schlocky roots, was a definite recurring highlight, with Mulgrew in one installment clearly having no end of fun alike the cast’s enjoyable turns in late 90’s Los Angeles alongside Sarah Silverman. Speaking of guest stars, seeing The Rock was a nice surprise though with hindsight they may never have cast him given Star Trek shrewdly chose to not have celebrity appearances overshadow the show. But hey, they can’t see the future; at least cleverly opting to obscure Jason Alexander in piles of costuming.

‘Year of Hell’ is good, but the premise befitted an entire season and alike the lacklustre finale nothing really matters (with some well-executed exceptions) if you can just go back in or erase time. There were many, many episodes that shouldn’t have been contained within forty minutes and deserved longer-form devotion, ala ‘30 Days.’ ‘Timeless’was a much better (and unusually technically-focused) variation on the aforementioned themes and it was fun to catch Geordi, as it was Deanna and especially Sulu. ‘The Omega Directive’ was cool; ‘The Thaw’ was great.

The fable-esque nature of the franchise has always been enjoyable and digestible given the show is partially aimed at kids, though there are episodes where it’s just a little too direct, and characters take a little too much pause. ‘Alice,’ the one where Tom almost cheats with his ship as an overly obvious parallel about why you shouldn’t have sex with other people if you have a girlfriend, if a good lesson, in execution was a tad much.

On reflection this author was surprised to discover some of the least generally favoured episodes, among them the Fairhaven double. It may be my great personal affection for Ireland but it makes perfect sense that given the time available this sort of world would be created and characters might pursue holo-relationships, a theme underexplored in Voyager yet still covered to great effect. The established technical deficiencies of holo-technology in such regular use should not come as a surprise when they recur.

The one where Kes comes back was actually a later highlight; her character was never very well handled and no it wasn’t that blast off into the sunset but sometimes old friends lose their way and it’s the job of old friends to set them on the right path.

Most surprising was the dislike directed at ‘Tuvix.’ The difference between Voyager and much heavier sci-fi is that herein characters make a lot of decisions that are hard, not ones that are difficult. The destruction of the array was devastating but not morally questionable within the confines of the show. As a tangent, you could argue that had Janeway made the decision to return to the Alpha Quadrant at the beginning of the series that it would have been the morally correct decision given that, as we see in ‘Hope and Fear,’ another highlight, the ship would not otherwise have been a factor in much disorder and destruction. The show was not however so expansive philosophically as to greatly tread such ground as the franchise otherwise managed in the likes of ‘City on the Edge of Forever.’

In ‘Tuvix’ Janeway, a figure, like Chakotay, who often shifted characterisation to fit the requirements of any given story, was faced with a difficult decision with no easy moral out nor ethically unquestionable approach. It was a refreshing change and correspondingly dark denouement to boot apparent in the likes of ‘Latent Image,’ another fine instalment with the Doctor.

‘Eye of the Needle,’ the only episode this author has watched twice to date and a deeply empathetic early high point, save ‘Balance of Terror’ is the best treatment of the guarded but necessarily relatable Romulans (I haven’t seen all the movies!). ‘The Void’ bookends the show as a later stand out while the in respects not dissimilar ‘Night’ bears one of the darkest challenges and finest, most resonant endings.

This brings us to the ‘best episode;’ one featured regularly in top ten lists but seemingly not a very favourite.

‘Blink of an Eye’ is everything that is exceptional and aspirational about Star Trek. Stranded in the stratosphere of a planet where time passes with greater rapidity, the curious presence of Voyager in the skies begins to influence the society to the point where the inhabitants develop space travel to face the spectre.

A commentary on the Prime Directive as deft as any and a relatively novel variation on both the time travel and petri dish tropes resplendent throughout sci-fi and Star Trek, the episode is also a fabulous meta-commentary on the place of the franchise in popular culture much less crude than Janeway bemoaning the Doctor’s fleeting interplanetary fans’ obsession with every aspect of his personal life. Incorporating a fair bit more science than is typically par, the astronaut’s moving decision to help them, as with his staring into the heavens as Voyager finally departs, speaks to the selfless ethos and sense of overwhelming curiosity so intrinsic to the most basic lore of Star Trek, the most beloved episodes and all that Gene Roddenberry best achieved.

It’s also an amazing meditation on first contact principles and pitfalls which unlike many episodes doesn’t borrow story bones from TNG.

A more than welcome reprieve from a pandemic, I didn’t spend as long in the Delta Quadrant as the crew but for what I did I was glad to relish with them.

Star Trek: Voyager is now streaming on Netflix

#xl #film/tv #voyager #star trek #star Trek: voyager #gene roddenberry #jeri ryan #kate mulgrew #roxann dawson #robert duncan mcneill #robert beltran #ethan phillips #tim russ #jennifer lien

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