#the superior Augustine | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

adoreeenina · 6 months ago

Text

I wanna be yours - Ch. 14

Relationships: Recom! Miles Quaritch x Sully! Reader x Recom! Lyle Wainfleet

WC: 3.8k

Series Summary: ~~~ 𝗜𝗻 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝕋𝕨𝕠 𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕠𝕞𝕓𝕚𝕟𝕒𝕟𝕥𝕤 𝕗𝕒𝕝𝕝𝕤 𝕗𝕠𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕖 𝕖𝕝𝕕𝕖𝕤𝕥 𝕕𝕒𝕦𝕘𝕙𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕠𝕗 𝕁𝕒𝕜𝕖 𝕊𝕦𝕝𝕝𝕪.

Head aching beyond belief. Lyle’s body felt like it ran over by a truck. Nothing could have prepared him though for the surprise sleeping right behind him.

A naked Miles Quaritch sound asleep lightly snoring his body facing Lyle, with the white sheet covering his lower half. His arm draped over Lyle’s hips in almost a protective like way. The feeling was warming and comfortable, he almost didn’t want to leave.

Now Lyle wasn’t one for one night stands, yes he’ll admit, he’ll hit on anyone he finds attractive but you never know if that person has some kind of STD’s and Lyle isn’t risking that.

More so when that one night stand is with your superior officer.

Lifting his arm off his body slowly as to surely not wake him up. Maybe Lyle could hide and he would just leave without a word. The last thing he wanted was to deal with was an awkward conversation.

Lyle slowly crept out of bed, trying not to make the bed creek. He looks around the room with the help of Pandora’s flora shining through the window, he pulls up his pants and shirt but couldn’t find his belt anywhere and decides to just leave it.

He wants to leave before Miles wakes up. Lyle fumbles while looking for his boots. Lyle tiptoes to the door, accidentally kicks the bottle of lube on the way. He curses under his breath and quickly leaves the room.

Not noticing Miles watch him leave with an amused grin.

That morning, Lyle avoided the Colonel at all cost. Any assignments or paperwork he was assigned he would drop it off at the Colonels office when he wasn’t there.

The first time Lyle slept with the Colonel, he didn't think it was a big thing. It was a mostly-drunken, I’m horny and you’re the closest willing participant , one night stand. The sex was great, and he was great, but it was just that. Great sex. As far as he was concerned, that was the end of it.

Not to mention he was very nice to look at, and could be fantasized about if the opportunity ever arose. Not that he would ever, ever do such a thing. Definitely not.

Lyle had been avoiding him for the past two days successfully. Anytime he heard Miles come in a space, he was able to duck out of it in two seconds. If he heard his voice just in the room over, best believe he was five rooms away from that one in the next instant.

Luckily or unlucky, depending on how you see it. Lyle managed to hide from Miles for almost a week, with the help of Lopez and Fike.

With their help, Lyle got his assignments from them when Miles couldn’t find him.

Fike just did what he was asked with no questions asked. Lopez was the complete opposite, he was nosy, very very nosy. He’d ask Lyle non stop questions.

Like now, Lyle just got out of the gym, he meant to take a shower first before meeting with Augustine, but ran into Lopez on the way.

“Lyle, what’s up with you the Colonel? You two get in a fight or something?”

“None of your business, Lopez”

“Oh come on” Lopez exaggerates by throwing his head back with a loud groan, “Just admit it already! No one looks at each other the way you two do unless there are feelings involved.” Lopez exclaimed, throwing his hands up in defeat.

“Just drop it. Here” Lyle holds up a yellow folder towards Lopez, “give this to the Colonel for me, will ya? I have to meet with Augustine in an hour”

“Or… you can hand it to me yourself, Corporal” Lyle froze when he hears the Colonel’s deep voice from behind him.

“Hey look, Wainfleet. It’s the Colonel” Lopez grins smugly as he looks straight behind Lyle.

“Lopez,” Miles murmurs as he approaches. “Apologies for interrupting, but I need to speak with Corporal Wainfleet”

Lyle’s head whips around at that, and feels his heart actually skip a beat at the sight of Miles standing a few feet behind him, arms pinned behind his back. He was watching him closely, intrigued. There was no telling how long he'd been standing there, watching him. It made Lyle want to crawl out of his own skin.

His stomach trembles at the sight of him. Lyle is not sure if he’s ready to have this conversation with him, but already know there’s no escape.

“Sure thing, boss.” Lopez shoves the yellow folder into Lyle’s chest with the biggest and the most annoying grin that Lyle has ever seen, “here you go, Wainfleet. Goodluck”

Lyle quickly catches the files before they could fall, giving Lopez a murderous glare, “fucking prick” he whispers.

“I'll leave you two alone. I have a mainframe to hack somewhere or something," Lopez joked, using phony movie terms and pointing behind him while walking backwards.

“Asshole, you don’t know how to do any of that shit!” Lyle shouts at him.

Lopez didn't respond other than with a wink and a quick turn of his back as he sped away.

As soon as Lopez disappears around the corner, Miles steps towards him. Flustered, Lyle back straightens to meet him as Miles stops just short. He’s watching Lyle closely, his ocean-coloured eyes tracking over every inch of him.

Lyle clears his throat, as he crosses his arms to guard himself.

"Colonel Quaritch." Lyle greets him, "you need something, sir?"

The corner of his lips twitched, fighting a smirk, “come in my office, Corporal”

“Oh sir…” Lyle looks at his watch, thinking of an excuse to not be alone with the Colonel, “I don’t… I got places to be…” he points behind him, taking a step back, indicating his leave.

The Colonel eyebrow rose, unamused by Lyle’s poor excuse to ignore the situation they found themselves in.

“My office. Now!” Miles’s stern voice cuts through the thick and palpable tension which lingers in the air. His lips are pursed, his arms crossed over his chest in disapproval. “I won’t ask again, Wainfleet.”

“Yes sir” Miles eyes darkening as they bore into him. Intensity of his gaze made Lyle gulp nervously.

Miles pushes the doors open wider, stepping aside to allow him in.

Miles takes the folder out of Lyle’s hand as he walks around his desk and takes a seat, looking through the file. Lyle awkwardly stands where Miles left him.

Fuck, since when did he became so fucking nervous around his Colonel?

“We need to talk” Miles murmurs, breaking the expectant silence that had settled over the two, setting the folder aside to look fixedly at Lyle, “you’ve been avoiding me”

Lyle swallows thickly, shoving his fisted hands into his sweat pants, to hide any signs of anxiety he may show.

Lyle shrugs, trying to seem innocent, “I haven’t”

The Colonel raised an eyebrow, “is that why I haven’t seen you in two weeks? Hiding and forcing Fike and Lopez to retrieve and drop off your assignments?”He retorts. Lyle could see the humorous glint in his eyes from where he sat.

At that, Lyle slumps down on the chair in front of Miles desk in defeat.

“Sir…” Sitting up straight, Lyle takes a breath and steeled himself for an uncomfortable conversation, "Look, we don't need to do this." He told him, "That night was a-"

"If you say 'it was a mistake', I’m jumping over this desk."

"No! That’s not what I- Jesus-" Lyle groans, about ready to just call it quits and get the hell out of there, "It wasn't a mistake. It's not like I regret it. But... but it was just one night. Just some sex. I know that. We're both adults, with needs. And that's what that night was. It was just a thing that happened. Nothing has to change between us."

“Is that what you think it is?” Miles leans back in his chair, looking at Lyle with such intent.

“Is that- What?”

"A one night stand." He responds, "Is that all you want us to be? You wanna leave it at that?"

“I-“ Lyle didn’t know how to respond, “Colonel, what are you trying to say?”

At that, Miles stands and comes around the desk. Now standing in front of Lyle, he leans back against the desk with his arms cross his chest.

He keeps his distance, but his eyes wander. Lyle’s sweats and tank do little to hide the way his body reacts to him.

“It wasn’t just a one night to me.” Miles finally speaks, “and quite frankly, I want to do it again. And again. Maybe spend some time together outside of work.”

“You- I- are you asking me to be in a relationship with you?”

“I am” he nods.

Lyle felt like the Earth had vanished under him and he was falling down a bottomless pit. This had taken him completely by surprise, he could barely comprehend it. Was Miles asking him to go steady? As in, date each other? What the fuck? Had he hit his head and had some freak accident or something?

Lyle watches him for a moment, tongue stuck in his cheek. Then he shook his head, averting his gaze, “Miles… we shouldn’t… we can’t…”

"And why is that?" Miles ask.

"Well, for starters," Lyle began, taking a look around the room, "you’re my boss."

“We’re both professional, Lyle”

“It’s awkward”

“You’re making it awkward. We could’ve talked that morning, but you sneaked out like a manwhore”

“You saw me leave?”

“You weren’t exactly quiet. The kick of the bottle of lube on the floor was the cherry on top”

“Oh my god” Lyle groans, reaching up to scrub at his face. He can barely even sort through his own thoughts in his head, “you’re twenty years older than me” he shot back.

"So what? That doesn't mean anything. We're both adults." Miles retorts, “you didn’t seem to mind that night”

Lyle was flailing. Searching for any reason why the two of them couldn't be in a relationship. Because they couldn't, right? There was no way it would work out. It wasn't a good idea. It would ruin the friendship the two had, and Lyle couldn't do that.

“Miles, there are rules we can’t-“

“Fuck the rules! You think the higher ups expect every single person on this damn planet to stay alone and celibate the whole time? That's not reasonable. There's no one else. Your only choices would be to date a coworker, or be alone.”

Lyle sighs, and reaches up to scratch the back of his neck, “not when it could result a kid” he argues.

“Well, we wouldn’t have to worry about that now will we? Only an idiot will be stupid enough in not taking precautions”

Lyle took his sweet time to think of an excuse, and try to sort through the mess in his mind. He was right, of course. Every excuse Lyle had, he had a solution at the ready. He'd thought this through down to the last detail. Miles was serious about this, about him.

"What are you so afraid of?" Miles ask.

“Everything” Lyle breathes out, “Miles, this is a big commitment that I don’t think I’m ready for”

Miles nods understandably, he makes his way over, taking his spot on the chair, next to Lyle.

The man reached over and placed one hand on top of Lyle’s, squeezing gently. Lyle met his eyes, surprised to find sympathy there.

“This is big for me too” Miles begins, almost smiling, “you know me better than anyone, and you know how I’m not good at expressing my emotions” Miles struggles for a moment to find the right word. “And I’m terrified but I want to try. With you. We both know we’re long overdue, Wainfleet”

Lyle had to be honest, he’d thought about it before. But he never imagined anything would actually happen. He never thought Miles would want something to happen. And yet, here the two of them are. Would it be so bad to give it a try?

“Fuck” he sighs, “okay”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah” Lyle repeats with a small smile, “We need to take it slow. I don't know what I’m doing and I don't wanna screw it up."

“Don’t worry” Miles responds, smirking, “we’ll figure it together”

Lyle shifts his gaze away to look at the scenery of Pandora through the window behind Miles desk.

“Hey” Miles says taking him out of his trance. Lyle looks at Miles and sees him staring at him. “How about we start with dinner? Tonight. How's that sound?" He ask.

“Dinner sounds good” Lyle responds with a smile.

“Couldn’t sleep, darlin’?”

The question startled you. You look over your shoulder at Miles standing a few feet behind you, leaning against a trunk of the massive tree.

Miles rests his back against the tree and continues to roll the beads of your songcord between his fingers. You wonder how long he has been there, watching you. You didn’t even hear him behind you. You didn’t know if you should be impressed or feel a bit scared.

“No” you admit.

You should’ve know better you couldn’t have a moment alone without one of the Recoms following you.

It would be sunrise soon. The stars were still out. Thousands of stars bright and proud, sharing the darkness between them. The memory of you, Spider, Lo’ak, and Kiri, sneaking out late at night to ride your Ikran’s. You remember vividly how beautiful it was watching the sunrise that day. Your lip twitch into a small smile at the memory.

“What was that thought?” Miles mused.

“I was thinking of home.”

“Of Sully?”

You frown. “No. Of my brothers and sisters.”

“Ah.” He says, making his way towards you and sits down beside you, letting his legs hand on the side of the thick branch.

“Why don’t you tell me about them?”

“And let you use it against me later on? I’m not stupid, Colonel.” you scoff.

“How about their names?” He tries again.

You bite your bottom lip as you think it over. Maybe just saying their names wouldn’t hurt. No. It’ll be a bad idea.

A screech startles the both of you. Miles snaps his head to see an animal that looks bigger than an Ikran, flying in the distance. Miles body language instantly went into army mode.

“It’s okay. We’re too far for it to see us.” You try to soothe his worries.

“What is that?” He ask, not taking his eyes off it.

“A Toruk. If I remember correctly your people call them Leonopteryx.”

“Toruk.” Miles mimics. He’s been getting better at rolling his R’s.

“It means Last Shadow.” You explain, making Miles chuckle, given how ironic that name seem to be.

You look up, studying the night sky. You point at the cluster of bright stars barely visibly through a gap in the branches.

“You see that?” Miles follows your indication and nods.

"That is the constellation of Toruk Makto.”

“Sully has his own constellation?”

“What? No, you skxawng.” You slap his forearm with the back your hand, "The first of his name. Entu was the first to ride the deadly tours, he set out across Pandora to save the Tree of Souls from an erupting volacano, and was granted the title Toruk Makto. He united the clans to save his people. It's his constellation, though it represents all who came after.”

“And that includes Sully?”

“Yes. My father united the clans to fight against the invasion of the sky people. My mother’s grandfather’s grandfather was also Toruk Makto. Rider of Last Shadow.”

Furrowing his brows, Miles glances at you before looking back at the sky, “He also rode one those things?”

“Yes. Since the First Songs, only six others have held that title."

“Huh. I imagine the First Song was a long time ago?”

“Very long.” You agree. You gaze up at the sky, admiring the stars. Beside you, you hear Miles mindlessly fiddling with your songcord.

“Why do you have my songcord?”

He looks up, “Hmm?”

“My songcord.” You gesture at it, “why do you have it?”

Miles glance down at the beads in his hands and studies the beads, running the cord through his fingers, feeling each one. They were various sizes, hues of blue and green and purple, and he noticed that many of them notched with symbols now that he looked closely.

“How do you get one of these?”

“It is gifted to you by your parents when you are born and they build it up until you are old enough to add your own.”

“How does Spider have one?”

“I made him one.” You respond, ignoring the look of surprise and focus on Pandora’s flora glow around you. “I gifted him his first bead, along with his first lyric. He gifted me a bead, aswel.”

Miles eyes a dark red stone with spots of iridescent blue that glittered like stars.

“What’s this one?” He ask. Remembering how you mentioned each bead has its own story. Like a diary.

“Why would you want to know?” You ask defensively.

“Cause I want to know you.” His sharp eyes look straight through you for a moment before he looks down at the bead again.

You shift in your spot beside him. You lean against his shoulder to see which bead he’s asking for.

“Rawm.”

“What?”

“That bead is my accomplishment for bonding with Rawm.”

“Spider said he almost killed you.”

“All Ikran will want to kill you. That’s how you know which one you should bond with.”

“You were a kid.” He argues.

“Yes. And I made a bond with Rawm. It was meant to be. I will never question the Great Mother’s doing.”

Miles couldn’t help himself but roll his eyes at the mention of the goddess.

You don’t take offense at this point. Whether he wants to believe it or not, he’s connected to all of Pandora. And that includes the forest, the water, the sky, and you. You caught him more than once watching everything around him in admiration. And it gives you hope.

“You know,” you start, making Miles look at you, “My people has a saying.”

“Yeah? And what’s that?” He murmurs.

“The Navi says every person is born twice. The second time is when you earn your place among the people.”

“Is there a reason on why you’re telling me this?” He drawls.

“Maybe.” You shrug.

You shift and rose to your knees beside him. You take his much larger hand and turned it over in yours. He sat perfectly still, letting you look over at him. Letting you trace your finger delicately over his forearm.

“Is this war really worth it?” You whisper, “To destroy this planet like you did to Earth?”

“How do you know about that?” He ask.

“My father told me stories. How humans are selfish and very acquisitive. All they do is take and take, not caring for the damage they have caused.”

“Earth is dying, darlin’.”

You shook your head. “So will Pandora if you continue on with this path.” You try to make him understand. Make him see.

“I have to finish what he started.” You didn’t even have to ask who he spoke of. It was clear to you he still hold some sort of attachment.

“You’re not that man. So why are you trying to be him.” You argue, your hands tighten around his wrist.

“I don’t have a choice.”

You scoff. “You always have choice!” You drop his hand and scowl at him. “He bear the blood of my people for his own selfish greed. And you feel the flick of guilt because of it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” Miles retorts, his fangs bared.

“I know more than you think. I see how much you fight with yourself, everyday. You think I haven’t noticed that little habit with your hands?” You point at his hands, “They feel dirty, don’t they? Like no matter how much you clean them, they’ll always be stained. Stained with the blood of the innocence that he killed in cold blood.”

You stare at his face as if you were looking for something within him. Your head cocked to the side as you studied his face, before you look down at his hands. You fingers start caress his hands and he lets you.

To Miles it almost feel like your’re trying to untaint the blood of his predecessor had shed.

“The sins he did, aren’t yours to carry. So why bear the stains of blood that don’t belong to you?”

“I’m -“ his voice failed him. He couldn’t even begin the sentence.

A long moment of silence passed.

“You have the choice to follow your own path, instead of the one your predecessors left for you.”

Miles opens his mouth to speak without a clue what words were about to come out, but stopped. He didn’t know what to say.

Feeling defeated and with the sun rising, you once again drop his hands. Then you stood abruptly and stepped around him without a word.

“Sweetheart?” Miles calls for you, stumbling to get up.

“The others should be up already.” You interrupt him.

“Look, darlin’-“

“Colonel?” Your ears perk up hearing Lyle’s voice over over Miles earpiece. Turning your head to look back Miles, making eye contact.

Not taking his eyes off you, he presses a button on coms and began to speak, “What is it, Corporal?”

“Uh Spider is freaking out about you and Y/n sudden disappearance. He said you probably took her out to the forest to execute her or something.”

“I did not, you liar!”

You let out a quiet snort that you quickly cover behind your hand. You could’ve sworn you saw the corner of his mouth twitch as though trying to stifle a smirk.

“We’re heading back soon. Tell Spider he has nothing to worry about.”

“Copy that.”

Dropping his hand from his neck. He steps towards you. He grabs your hand and place your songcord on your palm.

“Thanks.”

He smiles plainly in response, squeezing your nose between two knuckles. Then, he drops his hand and steps around you without a word, making his back to their campsite.

You watch his backside as he continues his path towards the others. You frown a little, not understanding what he just did. Was that he’s way of making a truce? If it is then it’s a start.

Eywa chose him for a reason and you won’t give up on him, no matter how long it takes.

Previous | Next

Taglist: @alexandra-001 @commanderrivercc-3628 @henhouse-horrors @certainkittenpeach @multi-fandom-rando @zzedah @mrstargayen09 @loaksulluyswife @averagehorrorgirl @baybaybear1 @deathlypink @ratchetprime211 @itsyogirlx @cardi-bre91

(I’ll be honest. I kinda hate how short this chapter is. When I was writing I thought it would be long but it’s short😭. And I’ve been feeling a little insecure lately of my writing since I keep reading other people’s work and I can’t help but feel insecure.

Feedback is greatly appreciated. I love to hear your comment and if nobody likes how this chapter worked out, I’ll happily redo it cause I honestly feel like it’s not one of my best work😔)

#i wanna be yours #recom lyle wainfleet #recom miles quaritch #miles quaritch x reader #polyamarous #lyle wainfleet x reader #avatar the way of water #miles quaritch #spider x reader #polyamory

121 notes · View notes

starberry-cupcake · 8 months ago

Text

I'm back! Thank you kindly for your patience, we're done with Act III! It was probably a terrible idea to wait because this is so long, I'm so sorry.

previously, in harrowhark! a vagrant the ninth:

this happened

also a couple previews that will show up in this but are in the tag

currently, chapters 24-31 (END OF ACT III!!!):

harrow wakes up after sleeping a sensible amount of hours in yandere twin's room

yandere twin, who's into chomping cavaliers, complains about having had some harrow soup

they have a sort of tender moment, I guess

they have a complicated dynamic

harrow falls asleep again

she's in the bed and yandere twin is sleeping on the floor

and harrow is woken by the sound of self inflicted pain and torture

harrow gets tired of this and decides to just rip yandere twin's arm off

@lady-harrowhark reminded me that I called this (!!!) in this recap

I had absolutely 100000% forgot I said that but congrats past me!!!

so, there's this scene in which harrow rips yandere twin's arm off and puts a new bone-y one in there, remade with her own parts

like this

some people have told me in the replies that it's a sessual sort of scene, and I get that, I suppose it was the vibe it was going for

total respect to that

but I'm gonna be honest here

it felt like I was witnessing a birth and harrow was the midwife

so harrow lets yandere twin know that she's been improving her necro powers via studying and practicing to try to make up for her being "lyctor lite"

harrow and alleged gideon aka ortus are the only people here that seem to be getting any work done tbh

so now, with the new arm, inner chad can use the sword again

and yandere twin is happy because she's now a proper lyctor and has senior chad aka augustine's approval

harrow is proud of herself for doing nice necro things like chopping and reconstructing arms

as a thanks, yandere twin agrees to help harrow to kill alleged gideon the first aka ortus

nobody asked you, but ok

I actually have no qualms with alleged gideon aka ortus

because he's at least direct and honest about it

everyone here has an agenda, at least this guy's like directly trying to physically kill harrow

at this point, I respect the direct approach

augustine and emperor reverend professor john can go fu—

WELL, ACTUALLY, WE'LL GET THERE LATER

CHAPTER 28

we're back at gideon-less canaan house

canaan house isn't safe in any universe, all the trails lead to death

everyone who's alive or accounted for is having a sleepover

there's a bunch of people unaccounted for, actually

the kiddos from the fourth are allegedly hidden elsewhere

who knows, at this point

I don't trust anyone

there's a fog and rain and water rising still

which reminds me of the movie identity, in which they all were trapped in that motel because it wasn't actually a motel and they weren't actually alive per-se

magnus and abby say that protozoa should have decked mayonnaise uncle

which is one of the reasons why the gideon universe is superior

aside from the presence of gideon and camilla

I miss them so much I'm gonna start biting cavaliers

anyway, where in the hell is duracell bunny nephew???

he wasn't with mayonnaise uncle when he yeeted himself

his soul, which got detached from his body in the gideon universe, is still flying like a balloon across universes and dimensions, I guess

abby didn't expect regina george twin to die, apparently, and says "if she's gone, then perhaps that means..." but doesn't elaborate

nobody ever elaborates

abby also makes harrowbean read another one of the "harrow texts"

I can't keep adding them all together in recaps because this will end up being super long but here goes the new one

"I will remember the first time you kissed me —you apologized— you said, I am sorry, destroy me as I am, but I want to kiss you before I am killed, and I said to you why, and you said, because I have only once met someone so utterly willing to burn for what they believed in, and I loved him on sight, and the first time I died I asked of him what I now ask of you. I kissed you and later I would kiss him too before I understood what you were, and all three of us lived to regret it—but when I am in heaven I will remember your mouth, and when you roast down in hell I think you will remember mine"

so yeah, we've got a triangular situation, I suppose

I need to put all of them together to continue to draw connections

my though was that this could be ice cube barbie aka annabel lee, because of the long-lost sun, but I'm unsure still

I don't think the timing fits the other side of the 3d model that's the gideon's mom and rebel leader situation

inconclusive still

abby suggests harrowbean she might be haunted

which might also fit with ice cube barbie??? maybe??? idk

CHAPTER 29

harrow says she doesn't remember shit about chad

get perpetually owned, chad

mercygirl asks harrow things about her necro process for the arm reconstructing and the last thing she asks is "what is the name of the saint of duty?" to which harrow says "ortus the first" and mercygirl goes

me and my "alleged gideon" theory are very happy about this

the hill I will die on

mercygirl continues to use onomatopoeias to express herself

I do not want to think about what that would imply in a later situation I don't want to dig into

"you read unholy omens in the way people say good morning" that's what these recaps are, thank you very much harrow

that's our tagline over here, that's our brand

"how you loathed any sentence beginning with augustine says" SAME, BESTIE

I HATE THAT MAN

he can go fu— ANYWAY

harrow and yandere twin are having sleepovers so that harrow isn't murdered in her sleep

apparently the nudes are cyrus and his cavalier and yandere twin likes that energy

they gifted them to others as souvenirs too

it's like if you had a university classmate who sent nudes to the groupchat every birthday

yandere twin says augustine the asshole has agreed to help kill alleged gideon aka ortus the first

I don't trust any of these lyctors if they're willing to kill each other this easily

how do I know they've got my back in combat if they don't have each other's backs—

I CAN'T EVEN ARTICULATE MY THOUGHTS AND NOT SOUND TERRIBLE NOW THAT I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS LATER IN THE PARTY

ANYWAY

yandere twin reminisces about not having been apart from regina george twin much in their lives and hoping she's sleeping well wherever she is

I also don't know where she is

yandere twin tells harrow that she was more farsighted than her

which I'm sure she was, but she doesn't seem to remember shit about it, and the letters remain unopened

harrow thinks it's kinda gross that the cyrus lyctor murdered his cavalier to become a lyctor and then took all of their nudes to the emperor's bolthole

none of these lyctors are operating from a place of common sense, harrow

"you were lucky that the memory of your own cavalier did not hurt you—except sometimes in the form of a sick headache in your temples, or in words stuck on repeat in your head"

so, augustine's plan involves dinner

harrow, hearing that, is like this

they look for clothes in the cavalier's things

yandere twin says "valancy trinit was my height, weighed more than both of us put together, and —judging by her portraits— had a body that did not quit"

I sure hope she's a thick girl, because I've had enough disappointment with the gideon cover not letting her have the arms she deserves

I hope valancy trinit looks kinda like this

ANYWAY, here's the makeover vibes, as previously shared

apparently chad could embroider, which I have to admit is a good quality

hate giving him any props, but I must be fair

harrow painted the less cute skull in her repertoire and we respect that

they went to augustine's room and he's still an asshat

I don't like how he treats yandere twin tbh

I feel like yandere twin has a thing with validation because of how her life has been and he uses that

augustine justifies his betrayal to his fellow lyctor saying that he "caused more pain over these last scant forty years than I dare to admit"

mercygirl is also here for the party, all dressed up

SO HERE'S THE THING

I am so embarrassed I didn't pick it up on the fly and it took me the whole chapter to put it together

augustine tells her "dios apate, minor"

at the time, I didn't remember what it meant, and when I finished reading the thing, I was like "oh, it's exactly like the deception of zeus"

I forgot that's what it was called

I mean, I got the "dios" part, obviously, but forgot the "apate"

my ancient greek professor is going to come back into my life to shoot me at my doorstep

to be fair to myself, it was a long while ago that I took ancient greek

AT LEAST I PICKED THE REFERENCE UP AFTER, OK????

god, I'm so embarrassed

palmolive, I'm so sorry, I promise I figured it out eventually

mercygirl punches augustine in the face, which is great

he insists on it being "minor", which idk where the line is there and I'm not gonna ask

idk which things are or aren't...involved in a minor form of zeus's deception

mercygirl says she's not wearing the right dress, I don't think it matters, it worked just fine

CHAPTER 30

everyone gets drunk except for alleged gideon aka ortus and harrow, because they're the only people in this group project who are doing the work

augustine and mercygirl start fighting about something their cavaliers did back in the day

they start toasting for cavaliers and talking about how "hot pyrrha was"

there is no respect for the dead in the emperor's bolthole

there's about to be something else in the emperor's bolthole in a minute though

I was excited about them drinking, though, because that's when people start spilling some truths

the lost commander of BOE is a "she", her name is/was Commander Wake, she almost killed alleged gideon aka ortus

I'm still spinning with the gideon's mom theory

and the background telenovela I've got going on

BOE found a Herald, killed it and turned it into weapons against these clowns

good for them, tbh, kill these drunk irresponsible bastards

emperor reverend professor doctor john thinks it's narcissistic of him to toast to himself

I want to murder him in cold blood

I hate this man so viscerally I want to rip him apart with my hands

the twist in this book is that I'm gonna reach to his murder and it's gonna be me

it's like bastian reading the neverending story but it's me killing this man

his full name is john gaius but I had been spoiled of his name by people not tagging their posts

he also does a "your mama" joke because he's my villain origin story

"part of your brain temporarily calcified into atheism" I'M GLAD, HARROW

so, they start to make out, all three of them

I finally caught up about zeus's deception and all about here

emperor awful is sandwiched between mercygirl on a table and augustine behind him and they forget there are children in the room

well, not children, but same difference, they're a million years old

harrow and yandere twin get the hell out of that display

CHAPTER 31

yandere twin wants to kiss harrowbean before she leaves to kill alleged gideon aka ortus, but harrow doesn't let her

harrow says "my affections lie buried in the Locked Tomb" to which yandere twin responds "Somebody might even exhume them for you"

when harrow mentioned not wanting to be touched while sleeping beside yandere twin, I remembered the pool hug and all that, that was a nice time

people were being killed left and right but it was a nice time

ANYWAY

harrow has a whole plan and has it all figured out, it's a really good plan, it works very nicely, but alleged gideon aka ortus isn't where they told her he was

sometimes, life works that way

the man you plan to kill isn't in the training room and all

she goes to look for him in not!dulcinea's crypt or whatever

and she sees this

and the spear

she follows the children's hospital trail of blood to the incinerator

alleged gideon aka ortus is inside the fire thingy and not!dulcinea is operating the controls

I wonder who could have predicted that this woman could still be an issue even after death

me, it was me

anyway, no time for I-told-you-so's because harrowbean decides to help him out of there

I'm very happy because I need him alive

he knows things and he's less bad than everyone else around here

because he's upfront about the killing

he tells her some things while he's kind of out of it

like to use blood wards instead of bone ones

that it will make her safe from "us"

"I know you're there. Kill me all you like. I would know you in the blindness of my eyes" he says and, among other things "Just tell me—back then—why you brought along the ba—"

WAS HE GONNA SAY BABY???? WHAT IF HE WANTED TO SAY BABY???

I'm still on my gideon agenda, sorry if it's embarrassing to read

of course emperor dickhead stops him before he can finish it

alleged gideon aka ortus says he doesn't remember shit afterwards and harrow sees her own mental state reflected in his

they can't find not!dulcinea, apparently

she's probably operating heavy machinery elsewhere

harrow is putting up her blood wards when she hears augustine and mercygirl argue about the whole zeus situation

the incinerator alarm apparently interrupted their plan of letting this happen

whether or not they had a hand on the not!dulcinea thing idk

mercygirl says she didn't move her

we end this act with ice cube barbie maybe annabel lee saying "The water is risen. So is the sun. We will endure."

obligatory yearning for camilla moment

That is the end of Act III and of my commentary because this was way too long and I need to make less chapters at a time istg

#luly reacts to tlt #harrow the ninth spoilers #harrow the ninth #tlt #the locked tomb #long post #gif cw

123 notes · View notes

nonasemporium · 10 months ago

Text

John and Colorism

John is Māori. He is a man of color, and he is coming from a society where he was racialized. Specifically, at least as a general consensus, his "faceclaim" in a sense is Taika Waititi.

Anyway, without getting into every facet of how I think the series and fandom engages with and addresses men of color, because that scope starts getting out of this specific topic and into a different one, I want to state that I think the relationship John has to both Alecto and to G1deon actually further represents themes of colorism.

John makes himself God. He makes himself god and to him that becomes some strange performance of western civilization roman empire 2.0 space imperialism planet consumption speedrun mixed w New Catholocism or whatever, but where there's a PERFORMANCE of equality where there actually isn't. Just like I argue John not ONLY makes new classes with necromancers and cavaliers (I'm not even getting into everything else with this), but ALSO he did not in fact shatter gender oppression, he just shifted it and patted himself on the ass for it.

YES it is queernormative and as a queer man himself, it makes sense this would be important to him, just like it makes sense for it to be important to him that race manifest very differently (go pretty unacknowledged really*) across his New Roman Empire in Space. But he has his own limits and biases and I would argue both colorism and misogyny are present for him.

He chose to make Alecto the way he did. And he had all of his own reasons for it, but surely it can also be noted how linked those reasons can be to both colorism and misogyny as well. I know he made her a specific barbie that had specific history to him, but does this barbie and his choice in her also highlight his priorities, just as blatantly as his choice of empire?

I need Alecto to come out so I can finalize some of these concepts, but it is still colorism for a man of color, especially one wounded by rejection (as we see in Nona) to see power in dominating a white woman. To see a SUBVERSION in the act of it. I think John sees a lot of things as subversion without seriously considering the levels he's actually engaging in. I think John is shallow.

Which brings me also to G1deon and Pyrrha. I think John had some concepts around their dynamics, their relationship, in their interactions that was in these same lines. I think John saw G1deon a specific way, I think he passively compared himself (including how he discusses it in Nona, again), I think the way he engaged with G1deon did not show solidarity or equality (G1deon was also an engineer!) but showed presumed superiority on John's end. Also he made G1deon how he did before he crafted his 10,000 year old weird empire. If I could put it into words more eloquently, I would, but I feel like John saw triumph in G1deon being Pyrrha's necromancer and I also think he then delegated him to "attack dog" for himself (as we see in Harrow the Ninth especially!!!)

I genuinely think 100% that regardless of if G1deon is racialized as black (I think he is personally), he is meant to be darker and racialized more than John was. And I think John subconsciously compares that! I think it is instead further evidence towards a narrative on colorism, including the way he's separate from Mercymorn and Augustine through HtN.

This is without getting into Pyrrha as a cop.

*I actually don't know if I should say "unacknowledged" here, because the cavs being almost always darker than their necromancers seems really notable.

#colorism in tlt #discussion on colorism #g1deon #gideon the first #john gaius #I have already said all of this but I wanted this one to be specifically focused on this segment #I never went back and got into Pyrrha as a cop but I just don't have the energy currently

77 notes · View notes

thegambitgazette · 10 months ago

Text

Know Thyself: How This One Exercise Shaped My Writing

“Know Thyself” Interpretations

Heraclitus: “It belongs to all men to know themselves and think well.”

Charles H. Kahn: this fragment echoes a traditional belief that “know thyself" had an essentially similar meaning to the second Delphic maxim, “nothing too much;” both sayings might be considered alternative ways of describing the virtue of sophrosyne.

Heraclitus defines sophrosyne as the art of “perceiving things according to their nature,” apparently referring to the perception of objective, material facts. If so, and if self-knowledge is the same as sophrosyne, then, as Kahn writes, “the deepest structure of the self will be recognized as co-extensive with the universe in general … so true self-knowledge will coincide with knowledge of the cosmic order.”

A fragment from Ion of Chios provides the earliest explicit reference to the maxim. It reads: “This ‘know yourself’ is a saying not so big, but such a task Zeus alone of the gods understands.”

“The unexamined life is not worth living” -Socrates

Soliloquies of Augustine: The book has the form of an “inner dialogue" in which questions are posed, discussions take place and answers are provided, leading to self-knowledge. The first book begins with an inner dialogue which seeks to know a soul. In the second book it becomes clear that the soul Augustine wants to get to know is his own.

The Consolation of Philosophy: Boethius writes The Consolation of Philosophy as a conversation between himself and a female personification of philosophy, referred to as “Lady Philosophy.” Philosophy consoles Boethius by discussing the transitory nature of wealth, fame, and power (“no man can ever truly be secure until he has been forsaken by Fortune"), and the ultimate superiority of things of the mind, which she calls the “one true good.” She contends that happiness comes from within, and that virtue is all that one truly has because it is not imperiled by the vicissitudes of fortune.

Meditations: Marcus Aurelius likely didn’t intend for Meditations to be published, as the work centered around his own self-analysis and self-guidance. Aurelius advocates finding one's place in the universe and sees that everything came from nature, and so everything shall return to it in due time. Another strong theme is of maintaining focus and to be without distraction all the while maintaining strong ethical principles such as “Being a good man.”

...to think that all of these classic works are “regular” people figuring themselves out. I decided to do the same.

Writing My Own “Soliloquy”

I’d like to clarify that I, in no way shape or form, see myself as this great thinker or philosopher or anything like that. I recognize that this practice is but one way to understand myself, especially since I struggle with mental health and a lot of spiritual questions (but that’s another topic).

In choosing to write my own soliloquy, I am becoming my own Devil’s Advocate. Like Boethius, I’ve decided to structure my journaling as if I am arguing with someone. I will choose a topic that I am passionate about or that I am having my own crisis over, such as “Why do I not believe I am a good person?” or “Why do I prefer logic over emotion?” or even “What draws me to classical paintings?”

What I found is that anything and everything that I am attached to says something about me on a deeper level.

Here is where it gets a little tricky: in continuing to argue with myself, I’ve found that I get better at coming up with counter points. In other words, this self-analysis becomes more and more complex the more used to it you get. It’s almost like you’re playing some mind chess and this fictional opponent, who is also you, as they are but your own Devil’s Advocate, is also getting better and learning with you.

But, to me, that is what makes this “Know Thyself” maxim important. You are not meant to have a full-fledged answer. We are constantly evolving and changing, as will our knowledge of how we perceive ourselves and how we perceive the world in response to it.

How It Affects My Writing

To start with the obvious, the character development and creation changes so much when you get to know yourself. At least, for me, the world becomes less and less black and white (not that it ever was black and white to begin with). Because of that, my characters become more dimensional.

I am no longer afraid to write controversy. There is a... debate, for a lack of better words, on the media literacy rate nowadays. Because of this, I would fear that, just because I wrote about it, people would assume that I am in support of it; or, for example, just because there is a mainstream focus on one demographic, that nuances of that focus cannot be written about (again, another topic).

However, writing my soliloquies reminds me that my work is meant to be a message from myself to the audience first and entertainment second.

As artists, authors, creators, etc., there is a danger in losing ourselves to appease the masses. There is the question of whether we should create what we want or stick to what is trending, and I’m not immune to that spiral, either.

In knowing yourself, you become your #1 advocate. You know what your boundaries are, what your morals are, and what your values are. It gets harder to allow those who don’t do that same work to sway your pen.

Closing Words

Whatever form that takes, get to know yourself. For me, that’s journaling whenever I can as if I’m debating with someone. Grab a journal meant specifically for this exercise and go crazy! No one’s going to read it (unless you become someone like Marcus Aurelius and your own version of Meditations comes out. In which case... sorry?)

Never stop challenging the way you think, too. It can be uncomfortable and hard, but change always is. Perhaps you will stick to your ideals, and that’s okay, too! Do not live life on the easy path.

As always, these exercises are not a substitute for professional or medical help. I will always encourage those who need it to seek therapy, as I believe it is a great tool to use alongside this exercise, should one feel inclined to do so.

74 notes · View notes

plague-of-insomnia · 9 months ago

Text

Expansion In Black Butler, Public School Arc Anime: Stained Glass

One of the things that absolutely delights me with the new anime is how they’ve used expansion to bring the world to life. I hope to do more posts on this when I am able to get better screenshots, so for now please accept these poor quality ones I took with my phone.

What is “expansion” in this sense?

Essentially, when you adapt something for the screen, you often have to add stuff to fill space, both in the physical sense of what’s on the screen, but also in terms of time. A scene might work fine on one manga page, but if you kept the view fixed like that for an entire scene in an anime or live action, the audience would quickly lose interest.

The anime has done a good job of expanding to fill these spaces in a way that can be charming and clever.

~#~

Something I noticed while rewatching the episode for the twenty millionth time, I realized that the stained glass window that is featured so prominently in the opening scene has been expanded into something with far more symbolism than the original manga page:

The basic design of the room and window is retained, but far more detail has been added, including the fact that the window has two halves, each with a person depicted on them, and they frame Ciel on both sides.

He’s quite literally trapped in shadow between two people, and to me, this is representative of how he is caught between Sebastian and Undertaker/His twin. (Or perhaps one is meant to be RC and one UT, with Seb the shadow in between.)

But there’s more. The top window has a flower motif, but the central flower looks a lot like a star, or perhaps a lily if it were spread out flat?? Additionally, the four flowers of the Weston houses appear in each corner.

Additionally, the window has distinctive doves above and below the saints. While ofc that is a common animal in Christian iconography, the fact that the reapers use pigeons (doves) to communicate, and the fact that UT is a former reaper, could mean this was a very deliberate choice. Perhaps representing how reapers communicate to their superiors (there are images of a man and woman at the top I assume is meant to represent Jesus and Mary)?

The images of the saints feel very familiar to me, but I’m such a lapsed Catholic that I’ve been struggling to identify them.

I thought perhaps that the one on the left could be Frances of Assisi. He’s the patron saint of animals, and is often associated with birds.

The other, I am really unsure about. I thought about things like St. Paul or Augustine, but those don’t fit.

Perhaps St Lazarus? For those of you unfamiliar with Christian mythos, Lazarus died and came back to life, so he’s associated with resurrection. That would certainly fit kuro and Undertaker, wouldn’t it?

A few depictions of stained glass windows featuring St Frances and St Lazarus:

#black butler #黒執事 #s04e01 #kuroshitsuji season 4 #expansion #ciel phantomhive #anime vs manga #kuro meta #book of weston #catholic iconography #(yes i am aware they’re in england and technically anglican)#screencaps #poi og #mangacap #saint francis of assisi #saint lazarus #symbolism #foreshadowing

31 notes · View notes

monroeknoxwrites · 9 months ago

Text

harrow the ninth spoilers

ianthe betraying augustine in his ultimate hour of need gave me a laugh. he really thought he had her wrapped around his finger, a little pet baby lyctor. his vast years worked against him here; the arrogance and superiority blinding him to the fact she would never care about his revenge over power. gideon's completely unsurprised reaction tops it all off nicely

what I wouldn't give to see his face in that final moment

#tlt spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first

20 notes · View notes

confusedbyinterface · 6 months ago

Text

Because it is a shamefully wicked thing to strip the body naked at a banquet among the drunken and licentious, it does not follow that it is a sin to be naked in the baths.

St Augustine, On Christian Doctrine

Rereading Chapter 14 of Misericorde, and I've got a few thoughts about it.

1: 🤔

Look, I know Hedwig having trouble applying her encyclopedic scriptural knowledge is a running theme, but it's still very funny that Hedwig, embarrassed at the prospect of seeing Eustace and Moira nude, says "But what if I start having lustful thoughts? That would be incest!" and Eustace goes "You know 'Sister' is just a title, we're not actual blood relatives"

Also interesting how Moira makes such a bit deal out of Hedwig's black hair being a sign of melancholy, then acts like the only incongruous thing about her black hair is that she's Irish.

2: Uncleanliness and spiritual despair

One huge theme in this chapter is Hedwig's sense of unworthiness. First, when reflecting on her vision she thinks herself unworthy of having been given a vision, that while of course God is all powerful and all seeing, that maybe she is worth less than the lillies of the field and the sparrow that falls (incidentally I'm not sure what she means about Augustine's warning against allegorizing too heavily: her error here seems more like his warning not to misread rhetorical questions.)

Hedwig talks about "the indignity of the laundry water incident [being] something that would stick with [her] permanently". There's an obvious literal meaning of it being upsetting, but think back to her vision: the dog became sick after eating fritters soaked through with the laundry water. Whether the dog represents Hedwig or someone else, it's clear the laundry water is being associated with sin here (Proverbs 26:11, 2 Peter 2:22), either as sin itself or the actions of other provoking one to sin. Hedwig feels like even if she is washed clean, she'll still feel somehow tainted.

When getting Moira's clothes, Hedwig spills her ink, and feels unable to deal with it or tell Moira. She feels that there's no way Moira could forgive her for that. Fortunately Kumasawa uses finite magic to fix the bottle and put the ink back inside before Campy knocks it over again, but Hedwig still feels like even a clumsy mistake is enough to destroy her relationship with Moira.

And at the feast, Hedwig feels unworthy of being celebrated. She's the Mother Superior's spy, betraying everyone's trust by her very presence. Everything keeps coming back to a sense of worthlessness, contamination, and stain.

3: Saint Cecelia

This chapter (and the previous one) all occur on Saint Cecelia's day. Cecelia is patron saint of music, for having inwardly sung hymns during her wedding ceremony, and the portative organ is one of her attributes, but there's more to her story than that. After being married, she warned her husband that an angel stood ready to strike him down if he touched her, but he could not see it unless he was also baptised. He went out, was baptised and converted, and saw the angel which miraculously produced flower crowns for them. The two of them, and her brother-in-law, were condemned to death by a Roman prefect, and initially Cecelia was to be suffocated in the baths (I think locked into a room and heated up until she died) but no matter how hot it was she felt cool and comfortable. Then, she was to be decapitated, but despite being struck on the neck three times she survived another three days, preaching to crowd, before finally dying.

So baths, bodily inviolability, visions that only appear to some but not others, and outward appearances vs inner feeling. These all come up: Hedwig and Eustace argue about how Hedwig could have flown while the Farmer saw her walking, there's a bath scene in which Hedwig is concerned about her body being seen. And at the feast, while outwardly appearing happy, inwardly Hedwig was tormented with guilt and was always thinking of her secret mission from the Mother Superior, just as Cecelia outwardly looked a bride but beneath her dress mortified her flesh with a hair shirt and in her heart was always singing to God. I feel like there could be something there.

4: Surprise parties

I forget the exact episode number and context (presumably about foreshadowing?), but while talking about Cursed Child, Xeecee mentioned how easy it is to overtelegraph surprise parties (something like "Hey can you be out of the house 3-5, I'm cleaning all the floors or something, but make sure you definitely get back right at five. But not before! Five sharp!" yeah okay now I know you're doing a surprise party I'll pretend to be shocked). So I like how Hedwig, after saying that she'd like a nice prank like a surprise party, reacts to being brought into the rectory with "oh no I am going to be murdered!" Great to take a woman with 3 weeks total of socialization and just put her in situations.

5: The Bishop of Carlisle looks a bit like God, doesn't he?

I mean obviously he's a bearded man making a sign of benediction, that's going to do something, but God did look a bit fat in the vision.

I know some of these might seem like a reach, so in case any of you feel like criticizing me I'm going to leave you with the words of Saint Augustine of Hippo:

Thus, when one man says, “Xeecee meant what I mean,” and another says, “No, they meant what I do,” I think that I speak more faithfully when I say, “Why could they not have meant both if both opinions are true?” And if there should be still a third truth or a fourth one, and if anyone should seek a truth quite different in those words, why would it not be right to believe that Xeecee saw all these different truths?

#misericorde #misericorde vn #Of course Augustine wasn't expecting Moses to actually see his Confessions...

8 notes · View notes

pandorafallz · 23 days ago

Text

Vampire AU | New Avatars.

Fingers trailed lazily up her spine, making Ridley smile softly before she rolled over to peer at her husband in all his bare-chested glory, the rest of them were only really covered by the blankets but who cared?

“Morning.” She blinked at the voice crack before she cleared her throat.

Nathan smiled softly, “Morning, my blurred beauty.”

Ridley chuckled softly, leaning over him to retrieve his glasses from the bedside and set them onto his face. “And now?” She didn’t get off him at all, nor did he hint to sit up.

“Hm… in focus.” His hands slipped under the covers, cupping a breast and his thumb teasing over her nipple, his other hand coming to slip around to pull her closer.

It was far too tempting to straddle and ride him to bliss… and she wanted to but they were on Pandora now. She could see the time on the RDA standard clock where his glasses had been. They’d get into trouble for arriving late and the reasons weren’t yet justified; she didn’t know her mother’s working temperament yet to test that.

Reluctantly, Ridley pulled back, sitting up with an apologetic look. “Tonight, treat me.” She offered, “But we need to get to the labs. See how the avatars are and… not step on any toes.”

Nathan pouted but released her and sat up. “Like your mom?”

“Please don’t mention her when we’re both bare as babies. Some conversations require clothing.” Ridley tittered, swiftly rolling from their used sheets, hastily pulling out wipes for a quick clean down, partially between her thighs, her neck and over any of the hickeys Nathan had left last night. She tossed on some loose pants, slip-on shoes and a green tank top but with an oversized teal turtle neck to cover Nathan’s marks from prying eyes. She couldn’t find her make-up yet to cover so the turtle-neck would have to do.

Nathan changed as well, more formal than hers, casual slacks, a buttoned shirt and a nice brown cardigan. The trainers kept him from looking too smart for his job.

“So, you plan to actually talk to her?”

“Only about work topics.” Ridley deflected, leaning down to her quarter’s mirror as she brushed through her hair. “I already told her what I expect in our relationship.”

He moved in behind her. “You know you’re gonna have to get personal with her sooner or later. She’s still your mom.”

“Hm, a mom who abandoned me for thirty years.”

Nathan’s hands came to her hips, not seductive but comforting. “Valid feelings, Rid, but let’s see what this world has to offer before the judgement of her choices is made.”

Rudely pulled a face, annoyed at his reasoning but opted not to say anything as she reached for her contacts case.

“You’re gonna spend most of the afternoon asleep, do you really need the contacts in?” Nathan moved and began checking himself in the mirror as well, running a hand over his chin then redid his locks up into a high ponytail away from his face.

“I’ve still got the morning. I’ll take it out before I link up.” She opened up the blue case and slipped the blue over her brown eye, blinking a little but felt relieved to have a matching set for now.

“I’m surprised you’re not going for brown?”

“No, I’d rather not look like my mother while she’s there. At least with the blue, there’s less chance of us getting mixed up.” Blue eyes would stand out more sharply if they expected the typical Augustine brown. Was it foolproof? No, people were morons. Ridley had spent three weeks working in retail once before she got fired with no regrets.

Nathan reached down and pulled out the small case from her bag, “Your hand, my lady.”

Ridley complied, holding out her left hand as he retrieved the rings from her bag and ring box and slid both upon. She wiggled her fingers fondly. “Thank you.” She had taken them off when they had landed; in part to not out her marriage so soon to her superiors which may affect her working relationship with Nathan but she mostly didn’t want to slam dunk her mother with unexpected news and make it awkward in her interaction with Nathan. Then he just… ousted their marriage in the get-go so it seemed irrelevant to hide the rings now.

Nathan bent down, pecking her on the lip. “It’s still so weird… we’ve been married for nine years but for us, it’s been… officially two days.”

Ridley had to laugh a little at that. “Oh, so about another year and we’ll be celebrating our first ten years. Damn… another party!” She perked up a little at that. “Presents!”

Nathan’s face slit into a grin, pulling into a hug.

Ridley settled against his chest, inhaling deeply before she reached down and squeezed his ass. “Come on, we’ve got to go. Colleagues to meet and avatars to gawk at in awe.”

Getting to the lab was uneventful as was getting in. Ridley parted from her husband and made straight to the observation window to the ambient room where she saw Dr Patel with a tablet. But none of that was her concern as her eyes were past him and to the window.

Two avatars were laid out on gurneys. Both wearing medical gowns but she felt the familiar awe at the sight of the forms in their sleep state. Tended by two masked-up doctors inside, the hands were being checked over, she noted; the little finger particularly with the strake. The tail was longer and given thicker, so they were laid on their side rather than their back in this state; probably to stop tail or pelvis soreness. She couldn’t see its face as it the back to her. The hair was out of the braid and was pinned back by a simple tie.

Her heart swelled with excitement, rocking a little on her heel.

“How are they?”

Dr Patel looked up from his monitor to her then back. “So far, everything’s looking good. Last of the Cryo drugs have left their system and we’re just giving them some supplement to bring back some nutrient and mineral deficiency we found but once that’s up, we can get you and Dr Cortez linked up.”

“Earlier than you hoped?”

“No.”

“Damn.”

Patel chuckled softly and clearly took her remark as a light joke. “In normal cases, you’ve been here by oh-eight-hundred and have the whole day but it’s not a normal case.” He reasoned.

Ridley wrinkled her nose. “I know. Just… I’ve wanted this for a while. These two are prototype avatars. If they’re successful, the RDA will make more for marine research.”

Patel hummed in consideration. “More the reason we should make sure it’s in good health.”

“Meh.” She had no good answer to that. He had a point, unfortunately, and there was little reason to compromise the avatar’s health needlessly when all she had to do was wait five and a half hours for the go-ahead.

“While you wait, I can get you started on some of our plant studies. Get you use to the lab and where everything is. Grace brought samples back from the mountains and Dr Masterson sent a few back from the jungle.” Patel offered, gesturing back towards the lab behind them. “With them stationed away, we get more variety but fewer expeditions from Hell’s Gate.”

“Mountains?” Ridley inquired, “I thought Grace lived here given her position as head of SciOps” Didn’t make a lot of sense for the head of a department to be away from the labs and the people.

“Selfridge saw fit to move her to the mountains in an effort to bridge contact between the RDA and the local clan. She’s… not happy about it but from what I’ve heard, Grace is talking to Mo’at again. Mo’at is the Tsahìk of the Omatikaya, they used to be friends back in the day but the clan pulled back after an… incident a few years ago at Grace’s school.” Patel clarified.

Incident. Sounded like Bull for a description of a shit-show. Ridley didn’t ask for more either but she was curious as to why the locals would open up a dialogue again. Maybe she’d get to meet her? Maybe not? Unlikely unless she just so happened to visit the mountains at the same time but she saw no reason why she would. Mountains were the opposite of her training. The avatar was not built for the jungle and would be far heavier on land to navigate comfortably. The tail wasn’t for balance but for swimming.

Honestly, she was more looking forward to going to the oceans and actually exploring it once they were free to do so. With the ocean, they could practise their breath training so it wouldn’t be too hard to translate the training into their avatars. Save the groups here building them a pool for their training.

“Do… you happen to know where I’ll be stationed once the avatars are cleared for duty?”

“I’m sorry, but no. Grace is the one with the schedules and where SciOps personnel are stationed.” Patel spoke, “She’s linked up at the moment so it may take some time to get those answers.”

“Already?”

Patel just nodded so this clearly wasn’t new to him. She felt… kinda glad she didn’t have to worry about walking in on her either.

Dr Patel made a curious noise, pulling her attention away from the avatar screen. “What?”

He looked a little uncertain, pushing his glasses up his nose and seemed to fiddle with his tablet. “Just… a personal question?”

Ridley sighed deeply. “What is it?” She couldn’t help the tired tone of her voice.

“Your accent, it’s different to Grace's, did you move after Grace left?”

Her accent? In all honestly, Ridley expected him to ask about her eyes. That was the typical go-to for curious people more than anything else. She hated the question and the stares for her paternal inheritance.

“Yes,” Ridley chuckled softly. “It’s… a bit complicated. My Papaw raised me after Ma left. He lost the house so we had to move south where housing was cheaper.” To be honest, they had to live between her mother’s paychecks in the early days once they started to come in which wasn’t easy and it was the only part of her mother’s work on Pandora that she couldn’t resent; it kept her fed and housed where Papaw struggled to make ends meet given the whole divorce mess her grandparents had. Papaw didn’t go into detail about why he divorced his wife but Ridley was a creative thinker to assume it involved her and her mother.

“But you changed your accent?”

“Didn’t start off like this, I started to put it on to blend in with the folks around me and at school. Never shook it.”

“Huh, that makes sense. At least with your accent, getting you and Grace mixed up will be harder.”

“Good.” She meant it.

Ridley settled in the lab after that for a few hours. Did a video log and got settled at a desk with a doctor who was a Marine Biologist. From looking over his shoulder, she could see he was looking into a species called Tulkuns.

They looked like whales but significantly bigger with a hammerhead crowning but the scan on this creature showed that this one had markings; tattoos even so clearly adorned by the Na’vi.

“What are these creatures?” Ridley couldn’t help but ask.

The man jumped a little, spinning around to face her before his shoulders relaxed. “Oh, Tulkuns?”

“They like whales, Dr…?”

“Ian Gavin.” The doctor introduced, shaking her hand. “You… Dr Augustine?”

“Ridley Augustine. I’m a Marine Xenobotanist and Xenobiologist.” She said brightly

“Oh, you’re here to study the oceans as well?” He turned to face her fully.

“Yes. Myself and Nathan Cortez will be but I’ll see where Grace puts us when she’s available.”

“Probably with me, I supervise any Maritime studies,” Ian said brightly. “It’s been a while since my team have new folks. Most people tend to favour the jungle.”

“Hm, figured there were lots of eyes in the trees, less on the seas. I’d rather not fight over samples and the debates of jungle animals.” Ridley wrinkled her nose a little. “So, Tulkuns? Space whales or far more complex?”

Ian’s eyes seemed to light up with a fondness. “The latter. Look, I’ve not been able to get too close but I’ve seen surveying pods of Tulkuns off our ocean buoy scanners where we got these fantastic images.” He moved to show her his monitor, bringing up an image of the Tulkun more closely. “You see these productions from their heads, these cranial crests are actually sensors used for echolocation and—“

“Grace! There you are!”

Both of them were startled to see a short, stressed scrawny middle-aged man swoop straight into the lab and directly to her, he had a tablet in hand and was very pinked-cheeked. She could already see where this was going even before he stopped at her desk and continued to rave. Clearly someone with a high position; he had a very self-entitled attitude but his attire was clearly meant to be smart and to represent.

“…and start negotiations with getting them out of the damn tree.”

She stared at him, unimpressed.

Finally, he seemed to stop and notice her expression. “What?!”

“Parker!”

The man jumped, spinning around with a squeak, of all things and gasped as Grace stood only two feet away with a very unimpressed look as well and clearly not happy. Her eyes were narrow and sharp. Ridley startled a little at her mother’s sudden appearance; she hadn’t seen her come in either.

The man jumped into the nearest desk and haphazardly put space between them but his eyes turned down and his jaw dropped before he looked between the two of them rapidly.

“W-what the hell is this?”

Grace smiled, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You’ve just met my daughter, Doctor Ridley Augustine.”

The man’s eyes widened. “Daughter?!” he almost sounded outraged if he didn’t look so bemused “How …or when did that happen?”

Grace’s eyebrows rose. “Selfridge, do you honestly want me to give you the whole baby talk?”

“Didn’t your mother give the talk when your balls dropped a few millimetres?” Ridley didn’t hesitate to use a smooth upper class, British accent in her response. Honestly, it was too much of an opportunity Ridley couldn’t help herself to add to the bit because it was kinda funny. Selfridge, Parker Selfridge, was her mother’s boss. She knew the name but looking at him now, he seemed like someone who looked rather easy to mess it so why not have fun with it if he was gonna be an ass?

Ian behind her snorted into his hand, gripping his bench hard in his other hand to stay quiet.

Her mother’s lip twitched but held a very strong expression not not slip up.

“You’re English?!” the man bypassed the insult rather quickly, too thrown.

“I moved when I was a baby after my mother left for Pandora,” Ridley spoke, maintaining her British accent for now.

Selfridge stared at her, then at Grace, then back to her, then to his tablet before he swallowed thickly. “We’re talking later, Grace. My office.” He added, more firmly before he hastily left.

Most of the lab had fallen quiet and a few were laughing at the guy's expense before it was let out loudly once the guy was out. Grace smiled, her expression amused though seemed to wince at a hard slam on the desk by Ian who had knocked over a bench lamp.

“That guy’s ya boss?” Ridley slipped back to her normal southern accent before Ian slipped and began to laugh hysterically.

“With me.” Grace nodded her away and Ridley followed without question to let people calm down. “Yes, that weasel of a man is the Hell’s Gate Head Administrator. Unfortunately has ties and ways over all departments”

“Ah,” Ridley wrinkled her nose but followed her mother back to the office. Inside, Nathan was also there, seated at the desk and clearly looking through a tablet of information and looked up once they entered. She shot him a confused look but he just shrugged.

“So, since you two are our newest Avatar drivers, I do have to ask this part more… off the books,” Grace said, seating herself down first.

Ridley took the second seat. “Oh?”

“I’m sure you’ve heard all about Jake Sully.”

They both nodded. “The guy who first bailed from the RDA. We got a whole lecture about it.”

“Yes, He took his brother’s place in the avatar program to use his avatar. A marine. But what you don’t know if that Selfridge tried to have Sully in my department to act as a spy for SecOps to get information that can be used against the Na’vi, or in our case the Omatikaya clan. Selfridge wants a new mine and the closet one he wants just happens to be at the Omatikaya Hometree.”

Ridley’s eyes narrowed. “That’s a bullshit site.”

“I know. He seems to be under the impression we can get them to move diplomatically and is trying to use me, or any potential avatars, to see those ends met. Now that I know Selfridge is gunning for spies I’d rather not leave you to be easy pickings.”

Ridley didn’t feel bad for messing with him the first time, now she really didn’t. The bastard actually thought they’d do something shitty like that? No native clan would just…give up their land to a bunch of aliens. Ridley knew the Hometree were important; a home and cultural cornerstone for any permanent clan in a region. A symbol that was beyond a tree to live in. Generations and history.

Home.

“What do we do if we’re approached?” Nathan asked, his happy-go demeanour very serious now.

“If possible, decline or ask for time to think about it. He can’t fire you without due cause, denying a mission outside your area is acceptable and I can protect your position here. If you’re forced to agree, then let me know. A verbal agreement is not binding. Get your contracts looked into and make sure you have access to a lawyer to push back against any espionage or anything that might open you up to be taken advantage of. Don’t sign anything without consulting someone. Selfridge had been changing contracts and payment packages and not everyone is aware of what they have available to them.”

Ridley took the tablet offered but she could see this was a very smart move. If it happened once with another driver then it could easily happen again. She didn’t intend to be a puppet and she wasn’t going to be pushed around either; she knew why she was here and it wasn’t to render a clan homeless.

The RDA was pulling dirty tricks…. So she needed to keep a careful eye on what she was asked for and what they told them. So much for discovery. Maybe she needed a private data drive for studies that would be questionable in RDA's hands. Something for the genuine science.

When it was time for the avatars, there was little waiting when Patel gave the word. Grace led the two out of the bio lab and into the link room.

“You’re in three, you’re in two.”

Ridley followed Grace, slipping her contact from her eye and skipped past Nathan as he slipped into his designated linkbed. She grinned at him as the top of hers opened up and she pressed her hands into the gel-bedding.

“How much link time have you logged?”

“Four hundred and eighty-four,” Ridley spoke.

Grace nodded approvingly, tapping along the monitor beside the torus, kicking it into life in a gentle spin. She could feel the slight tremors through the bed before it stabilised into a soft hum.

“You, Dr Cortez?”

“Four hundred and forty-seven.”

Ridley knew it wasn’t low, the simulation had done wonders into establishing the groundwork for linking in their minds but the real one, this one would see where all those hours were spent were worth it.

“You’re above average, that’s good.” Grace remarked, “But please remember, don’t get up and leg it out of the room. We don’t need another escape before you’re cleared.”

Ridley snorted a little. She had heard the rumours but it was still… kinda funny to hear about it. She couldn’t blame the guy really for it.

She lay back in the bed pulling down the metal frame first before she reached for the lid.

“Remember, close your eyes and keep your mind blank. It’ll ease the transition.”

“Noted.” Ridley ignored her mother’s look before the darkness closed in and she found herself staring up at the camera before she closed her eyes. Her breathing was the loudest thing in her ears, the gel padding did feel very comfortable…

She felt a… low sensation pull at her mind, hazy like white noise before she felt… a rush through a white tunnel with a flickering of colour that coloured her senses…then she felt her body return.

A different body.

She didn’t open her eyes, but she could feel how…different this was. She felt heavy.. and big but the air smelt wonderful. Sensation kept in as the rest of her,

“Ridley?” The noise seemed to filter in next, from a muffled hum to a sharpening voice.

Her mouth tastes of cotton balls. She didn’t like that.

She found the strength to open her eyes, the vision taking a second to sharpen up from blurs before she focused on the first head of the guy crouching next to her only for a light to freaking near blind her; testing her pupil reflexes.

“T...tiny.” Ridley couldn’t help the remark. She blinked again before she looked down, moving her limbs slowly.

“How are you feeling?” Her ears twitched as they clipped their fingers next to her ears.

“Heavy.” She wrinkled her nose, slowly moving to sit up with the two doctors watching. She felt the tail move and flop over the back of her gurney, settling her feet to balance.

“There, let’s take it slow.” The doctor said, clearly warning her to not go further than that.

Ridley sighed deeply. Feeling the air fill her lungs, holding it for a moment to test her avatar’s lung capacity and slowly let go.

“How’s the feelings in your fingers and toes, flex them for me please.”

Ridley complied, wiggling her toes, and rolling her ankles though she paused as she noticed her ankle strake and how her leg shifted with the extra cartilage. It wasn’t bone so there was flexibility and available motion. She followed Dr Madden, touching her fingers to her thumb, rolling her wrists and resting her strake flexibility on her hand and wrists. It was a little less, in comparison to forest avatars but nothing too noticeable. She had all sensation across her skin and soon, she was cleared to stand.

She struggled with balance, but they pulled out a standing bar to grip to help and she allowed them to test her tail; making sure she could feel it and control it. There was no major movement like the forest tails that reacted in emotion, some movements but it was more from side to side rather than up and down or curling. By the sounds of it, she could piece together that her tail movement was below average and weaker.

It gave her a fair idea of what she had to do but it all relied on her now to build her avatar’s body up; to train her tail muscles faster. Her body’s weaknesses were due to being new and it needed to be developed. Still, she grinned as she sat Nathan up and about as well, an inch taller than her but he looked stunning in his avatar. it was almost a shame all of him was covered up in his hospital gown. Still, she’d enjoy the view of her husband's avatar later.

“Ha, Rid, you’ve got a blue and green eye.” He realised, waddling forward, his hand coming to her jaw. “They’re an intense shade as well. Wow.”

“Huh, here I hoped for matching.” She wasn’t surprised really.

“You’re beautiful, Ma’yawntu.”

Molly was babysitting, but with Paz’s son sleep on her chest and her avatar cared for today, she had the time to be away from the labs while Grace sorted out the new folks. They were all settling in but there was another person that had to be accounted for before he was moved off to the West.

So, Molly opted to be the one to get to the topic at hand for the early preparation work. She could hear Doctor Solis in his office, and he wasn’t alone either, as requested.

She knocked lightly on the door and waited until Solis called in before she popped in and smiled.

Dr Solis jumped to his feet, his heart picking up in his chest and instantly nervous but he held his expression.

“Ah, Doctor Curfman.”

“Afternoon, Dr Solis and… Dr Solis.” She added to the younger man.

Adan Solis didn’t look like his father, aside from the same hair colour and texture. He was very thin, his skin was more tanned naturally but seemed pale and red in a few patches and his eyes were a dark brown, framed with thick brows and had a small growth of scruff and a little patchy. His scent was… not that appealing but not something to pass off either if desperate but she could smell that his blood was a little off. The hormone balances and portions often altered scents and signified to them, vampires, the human was sick.

Adan had untreated cancer in his bowel and had developed a brain tumour, most likely cancer as well. Molly knew that it was in an inoperable place in his head so Mansk was to turn him if the doc wanted to live, so to speak. They couldn’t put him on chemo; they didn’t know how they’d tolerate the poisons in his system when they turned him.

“Please, call me Adan.” The doc said, coming forward to shake her hand, his eyes widened as complied, feeling his slight recoil at her skin but she dropped her hand casually and smiled softly. “Your hands are cold…”

“Did your father fill you in on what had happened?” She closed the door for privacy and took a seat unprompted to get the two to relax

“A little, not a lot but he said…” Adan hesitated, also sitting down. “People…like you could save me.” His hands fiddled with his hem, eyes not meeting hers but he clearly knew what she was. He just wasn’t willing to say it.

“Yes, that is the plan. Mansk is stationed in the West with Walker. Since there’s not a lot of us there, your presence shouldn’t affect the population as much.” Molly stated, running a hand down little Mile’s back as he slept. “But you’ll be turned there, not here. You’ll need three days to settle which we can sort out quickly. Juan, you can be there if you want but you won’t be able to stay. Supportive father won’t stick in the West longer than it needs to be.” She added to Solis who nodded.

“Will it hurt?” Adan asked.

“It… won’t be pleasant but it’s not torture. The initial phase is only two hours before you’ll be able to move and feed but the changes carry on under the surface for 79 more hours after that. You’ll be crabby, irritable and hungry in that time.” Molly didn’t sugarcoat the facts, not for him. He wanted to know what would come of him; to know what to expect. “You’ll be looked after, in part to keep you safe from revealing your new nature and to keep people safe from you.”

“I’m a doctor. A researcher too but mostly a doctor. I will be around split blood…”

“Humans?”

Adan paused. “Well, I trained in Na’vi physiology so mostly for the Avatars. Their care. Humans a little so I can help in that regard.”

“Grace can keep you in SciOps Avatar care to cater to those needs. You’ll be around blood but masked up so you shouldn’t be able to smell anything. We don’t wake up and spend weeks trying to control our thirst. We can tolerate human blood in our first few hours even, as long as we’re fed beforehand. If you’re struggling, someone will help.”

Adan’s shoulders relaxed a little. “I don’t…wanna hurt anyone.”

“I know, but you do have to come to terms that you have to feed off these people and keep them alive but also unaware. You will be taught but that is what you have to think about. Bags are currently going to Grace since she can’t feed off people in Hell’s Gate nor the humans she’s with so there’s little to spare for the rest of us.”

Adan deflated a little. “What about Pandoran animals?”

“We can’t keep it down. We’ve tried, but so far humans are our only food source.” Molly said, sadly. It wasn’t clear why, even after her three, almost four years of being a vampire, they couldn’t feed off animals but she was sure they’d figure it out. She could see a good portion of them choosing to switch to animal given they had more blood in them, more of them and they weren’t confined to a base; they could leave the RDA like the defectors and live happily. Their diet restricted their freedom. They had to be here for their food. Honestly, Molly wanted the option of her and Daniel running off, avatars in tow and just… living a life. That would be the best.

But that was the dream.

The reality was different.

“Let’s… have some time to think.” Dr Solis said, his eyes flickering to his son warily.

Molly nodded. “You’ll be sent off to Frontier West in four days with the rest of the new people.” She reminded, coming to her feet before a little in the wrap pulled her attention down. Little Miles has woken up, his blue eyes staring up at her blearily before he sniffed about.

“Ma…” his fingers came to his mouth.

Molly smiled softly, pulling them out before he could bite himself and took her leave.

Down in the Hell’s Gate storage, the ISV Destiny’s supplies had finally made it moonside but an open Wyvern was hastily being loaded up. Big creates from the ship were pushed onto the ramp, long creates, smaller ones but there was a necessary gentleness as they were set down and secured. Workers lay asleep, cameras on a loop and the doors secured.

“Come on, Farid. Get the cloak installed, two minutes!”

“Almost done.” The inside guy said, retrofitting the large device into the floor panel; for a machine that size, it had to be hardwired into the system. “This human tech is so outdated, it’s harder to navigate without setting something else off.”

“I don’t care. The SDED can’t have their supplies with the RDA. Any news on Chen?”

“Kinglor Forest, I believe.”

“Then we set up in the Clouded Forest. Keep a reasonable distance but we’ll need to locate either her or Salaam. The SDED want an update on Cortez. Make sure we’ve got the ABE packed otherwise, we’re dead meat. I’m far too young to die.” Farid added, finishing the last of the engineering, setting the device in and hurried to the cockpit to get it going.

“You’re a hundred and twenty-three, Farid.”

“Exactly!”

The last of the crates were added in and the warehouse swept for any last small boxes or there before the dhampyr closed up shop, tapping into the door controls from their side to open them without sounding the alarm before they activated the cloaking systems… and the wyvern disappeared from sight before exiting the bay….

3 notes · View notes

adolin · 2 years ago

Note

If only Ianthe could accept that she is hot

Look, I hear you but on the other hand... Ianthe without her insecurity complex would be way less fun. Delicious Ianthe moments we only got because she hates herself

she falls for Harrow super quickly and extremely HARD just because Harrow understands that she's smart, doesn't care for Corona, and slips her some tongue the once

the way she giggles and simpers around Augustine, one of the cringiest beings alive

the fact that she has 0 dignity, 0 shame, and quite possibly a degradation kink streak

literally the more Harrow keeps insulting her the more she gets turned on

"You should see my sister"

the fact that she keeps putting Corona down and calling her a bimbo because she's insecure about her looks, seeks refuge in her intellectual superiority, and completely misses half of what Corona is doing

IDK. I think if Ianthe knew she was hot she wouldn't be AS delicious. As it is, she can and should and would happily get wrecked in various humiliating ways.

#Anonymous #WORST GIRL!!! TERRIBLE GIRL #ianthe #tlt

112 notes · View notes

ainsi-soit-il · 8 months ago

Text

Petra song here.

Switchfoot song here.

If I had a nickel for every time a Christian rock group in the late 90s wrote a song about St. Augustine's Confession, I'd have two nickels.

#there is an objectively correct answer here and i think we all know it. sorry to any petra fans.#christians of tumblr #polls #christianity tag #hymnody tag

10 notes · View notes

soulntes · 2 years ago

Text

THE TRUTH UNTOLD - PROLOGUE

[THE TRUTH UNTOLD SERIES]

the life of pandora is an experience very phenomenal. to be able to witness personally gives you a different perspective of life itself and.. when you start growing to loving her so much, very impossible to ignore the harm it's done on her.

humans on earth only hear stories and news about the planet from their televisions and papers about 'their new earth'. as well the indigenous inhabitants living there but it includes pieces of lines explaining their hostile personalities and unwelcoming behavior. how would any human feel empathy towards the navi of their situation of sharing anything of their home when all they done is discover a new way of life, wanting to bring a whole species to drive them out?

scientists do. they learn and teach but nobody lends an ear for a learning experience about the connection their people have for their mother planet. most humans don't want to. not when they destroyed their mother out of greed, money, power, and superiority. why would they care when they already destroyed beyond repair.

it is all about perspective. time to wake up and face the truth. those who want to learn, they learn and use it to survive without expecting to getting anything in return.

those who a dream about a new life learn to love and embrace their new them.

the sully sister dreamt of a new beginning. away from her past and agonizing pain which she trained hard for years has finally paid off. her dream of loving another became vibrant and clear of what her path will be.

her dreams of flying through the wild life, running on branches and plants that grew to be felt down her feet, the sun setting to watch the stars to reach it's brightness, shining above her and.. someone else.

their blue four fingers grazes softly on hers to bring them to his lips for a peck. the soft, tender kiss melted her heart by how gentle he treated her as he looks at her with those yellow eyes of love.

this felt like a lovely warm spring when flowers blossom with a fresh start in their lives, enjoying the sun feeding them life and exploring their experiences in person.

it seemed all but a dream.

sooner or later.. you're gonna have to wake up.

the military trained woman participated in the avatar program was offered a once life time opportunity for humanity to discover.

she wanted to leave earth because of how human treated their mother over the years. instead of helping her heal and reemerge her beauty, they kill her more for money and power and selfish needs until she no longer exists.

her instincts dedicating her teenage years to study what is beneficial from dr augustine's book about the navi. nine foot tall, dark shade of blue the aliens appeared as with four fingers, big pointy ears, and a long tail. their appearances look alike towards a feline but they have a lean, slim figure. hair decorated of beads and styles to their liking representing their image that'll be vividly know amongst their clan.

their culture surrounding solely on their great mother eywa who's connected to all living things and their guidance in life that takes a huge role in their entire lives. traditions around the birth of their newborns and journeys that are remembered with songs and story telling surrounding the greatest accomplishments.

everything on pandora seemed lively with how much you get to discover with your very eyes. falling in love with a bond so sacred and meaningful developed something she wished that happens on earth and be with the one you love for all eternity.

feel the love, every single touch, any ounce of pain, and their thoughts about you in their eyes that hold eternity.

but it was a better experience to go to the wonderful, one of a kind planet and witness the beauty of it personally.

nobody knows what awaits in the forest of mystery and love to unravel.

deep within nature was a man, a mighty warrior, in his lonesome time awaiting for a sign to protect the people and those he cares for deeply. for his heart broken yearned something he's been dreaming of, out of his reach. then he starts dreaming a woman. a strange dream walker by the look of her hands offering to accept.

a woman's touch is a remarkable sensation when you feel the love and affection and appreciation of their efforts. a woman who'd dedicate herself into providing happiness and warmth in his toughest times. a woman who he's never met and a man devoting his life to protect his people.

her presence made it all so nerve wracking by her beauty compared to the stars of the darkest eclipse. her joyous smile that he only sees.

a hand out of reach not knowing what awaits them and wait for their time to come as it's all planned by the great mother herself, not bearing seeing those sensitive to suffer and the strongest to ignore their wants.

until they meet in a few years.

TAGLIST

@drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @misscaller06 @theunfortunateplace @im-in-a-pansexual-panik

61 notes · View notes

go-river-flows · 2 years ago

Text

Welcome back to the Avatar Programme

Summary: I was part of the Avatar programme. Simple as that. Then that changed after the schoolhouse incident.

WARNING!! Death of children, Heartbreak, Angst

Part 1 of ?

I was part of the Avatar programme. Simple as that. Arriving on Pandora was something I couldn't imagine. Everything I knew about this planet learnt ahead of time. Training and learning about the natives, and their language of the planet alongside Tom Sully and Norm. Though I was the youngest in the programme at 19 years old, five-foot-eight (173cm), and fresh out of medical school, with that I tried my hardest to keep up with everyone. Becoming quick friends with Tom during training, and I was sent in cryo first with his full support. He was like a big brother I never had. And more.

I logged nearly five-hundred hours, much like Norm to his dismay. So when I reached Pandora before Norm and Tom I worked twice as hard. I think Dr. Augustine saw something in me, even hand-picking me to join her school in 2150. Though I was supposed to be a medic, I was researching new plants and herbology to cure diseases and new strains of viruses for the humans back on earth. I helped teach English to Dr. Augustine’s school, using my avatar on the side. Small children and teenagers that came learnt a lot, and quickly too. A little boy, Anuk, learnt the fastest. He was a cute little boy that followed behind me like a little lemur, sometimes even climbing on me, sometimes braiding little beads into my hair. His sister, Kirëya, a bit older, loved my drawings of plants, even helping identify a few new ones. I loved drawing the children, and giving my drawings to them, now even teaching art as my mother did many years ago. To be honest, I kind of fell in love. Not just with the people, but also the culture, the rainforest, the fauna, everything.

But when I wasn't in my avatar, I was in the lab. Dissecting plants, researching it's biological structure, testing against strains of a disease running rampant on earth, FE1-07. When I wasn't doing that I was sleeping, most of the time on my desk, too busy to even eat. Dr. Augustine would look at me worried, she noticed my slightly sunken cheeks and darkened eyes. She dragged me to the medical bay one morning, after I had only eaten a cereal bar and drank three cups of coffee in the span of 42 hours. She was right to of course, I was malnutritioned. She started coming down on me hard about eating, physically dragging me to the canteen, making me sit with the science team and eating the horrible food.

“Call me Grace,” she finally told me. I always called her ‘Doctor Augustine’ out of respect. To me she was always going to be my superior. Hell, I think I saw her more as a mentor and after she dragged me to the medical bay, a mother figure. She reminded me too much of my mother who had passed away from lung cancer.

I miss Na’vi food. It was much more nutritious and healthy compared to what was served on the metal trays. I didn't know it at the time, but every time Grace dragged me to the canteen, I had caught the attention of a certain man, the head of security. All I knew about him was that Grace hated him, she grumbles about him often, though I've never physically met him before.

Every morning was the same. Wake up at 4am, have a cup of coffee, go to relieve myself, then head to the cradle. It had been nearly two years since I had joined Grace’s school and this one was no different, Max helping me link. Waking up at the Avatar compound, I started my day by checking on the growing fruits, plucking a few ripe ones for the children, before heading over to the school.

“(Y/N), stop there,” Grace loudly stated out as I approached the school, getting closer I noticed the many bullet holes riddled. My happy expression fell. Dropping the fruit I ran to the door, Grace stopped me as my eyes fell on the bodies of Anuk and Sylwanin, the oldest daughter of the Omatikaya clan leader and Tsahìk. My knees weakened as I saw the young boy lifeless on the ground. All I could feel was anger and pain. Anuk. Dead. I howled in agony. The young boy who made me smile and laugh, now lifeless on the ground.

Grace held me tightly, now crying too. How was she going to explain this? How was she going to explain this to the Omatikaya clan leader? We cried in each other's arms, until there were no more tears.

“Where are the other children?” I ask quietly.

“They’re safe. We have to bring them back to Hometree, so they can rest with their ancestors,” Grace rubbed my shoulders, she stood up before leaning down to pick up Sylwanin. I did the same with Anuk. His body was cold and limp which hurt even more. When I played with the kids, they loved being picked up as I twirled them around, sometimes carrying three of them at the same time and spinning around, something I often did with my young cousins back on earth. Their laughter always sounded so sweet and cheerful. Anuk’s the most boisterous and contagious. I teared up at the memory as Grace led me to Hometree, a place I had never been to until this moment.

As we neared Hometree, Grace stopped for a moment. I could tell she was scared, it was my first time seeing her expression. But we pressed forward. As we approached closer to Hometree some of the Na’Vi villagers noticed us. Holding two of their own. When they realised who we were carrying, their expressions changed to horror. Two children of their tribe in the arms of demons. That was the word they used. It stung like a wasp's sting, but it didn't hurt as much as Anuk’s death. There came a commotion, the natives outraged at the sight. One of the Na’Vi threw a rock at my face, yelling curse words. I could only wince in pain as the rock collided with my cheekbone, I held Anuk’s body closer protecting his limp figure as a reflex.

“Mawey! Mawey. Txum. It was not our fault,” Grace cried into the crowd (Calm! Calm down. Please).

“kempe ngenga hasey, sawtute?!” a native screamed back (What have you done, sky demon?!). We could only look at them, not knowing what to say I squeezed my eyes shut as another rock came flying in my direction. I turned, hunching my back to protect Anuk’s small body as even sticks came flying.

“TÌFNU!” (Silence!) the Eytukan yelled as he hurried to the crowd, the people parting as they let their leader through. Seeing his daughter he let out a loud yell, a gut-wrenching sound as he looked upon his oldest daughter in Grace’s arms.

“Ngaytxoa. Ngaytxoa,” was all Grace could say. (I'm sorry) The Eytukan took his daughter from Grace’s arms, embraced his deceased daughter wailing.

“Ngaytxao, ngaytxao,” I repeated. It was all I could say too. I looked up to make eye contact with Eytukan, the only thing in my eyes was remorse and guilt, maybe a bit of anger too. A Na’Vi man took Anuk from my arms, even hissed at me too. We deserved it, I believed. We were human, we were demons. I accepted it with tears in my eyes. Only repeating the word ‘ngaytxao’ over and over again.

That day the Omatikaya clan banished us from the tribe. It would be the first time I stand foot in Hometree and the last. That day, my hatred for humanity lit like a flame.

When we returned to Hell’s Gate, I went straight to the Avatar Compound, shutting my eyes and disconnecting from my avatar. I got out of the cradle, feeling that same grief and remorse. It crushed me. My heart ached and I felt like throwing up. My cheeks were already wet from crying, somehow I felt the pain through the connection, it was strong.

“(Y/N) what's wrong?” Max asked, extremely concerned as I could only look up at him still lying in the cradle, “Why are you crying?”

With those four words I couldn't hold it in any more, only weeping as Max sat me up his arms wrapping around my shoulders. I was there for a while, the only thing I could do was cry. Even when Grace came to check up on me, she dismissed Max as she just held me. Tears pooling on her shirt, as she tried calming me, rocking my body back and forth. We sat in that position for nearly twenty minutes as I finally calmed down.

“Never again,” I mumbled into Grace’s shirt.

“What?”

“I'm never going in again,” I stated, shaking my head, “I can't.” Pushing Grace away, I removed myself from the cradle, vowing that I’d never return to my Avatar.

For the next few days, I focused on staying in the lab, trying to avoid the cradle room as much as possible. Heck I even avoided Grace, the only person who I really cared about, and I think who also cared about me. Only going back and forth from my bedroom that I rarely used, and was practically untouched until now. If I wasn't in my lab working on cures, I was working in my shared bedroom. I would only go into the canteen ten minutes after the science team’s breakfast, lunch and dinner time, hoping to avoid those in the Avatar Programme. Sometimes there were a few other people, sometimes it was just me, only a few food items under the heat lamps limiting what I ate. The shelf of drinks was also empty. It was a Friday evening, so most people were in the communal room playing cards and having drinks. Sitting down in the somewhat empty canteen, I prodded my food whilst writing an analysis report. Not noticing that the head of security walked into the room. His footsteps halted behind me. The man dropped a bottle of water in front of me startling my clueless self, he chuckled a little.

“Sorry to startle you miss,” he said as I turned to look at him, “I noticed you didn't have a drink.”

“Oh, thank you,” was all I could say to this intimidating man.

“May I?” he gestured to the empty seat next to me, I nodded. Pulling out the chair he sat facing me.

“Commander Miles Quaritch, Chief of Security,” he introduced himself with a smirk, as he extended his hand out.

“(Y/F/N)(Y/L/N), Medical researcher,” I shook his hand. My face completely neutral but slowly turning red. Either from nervousness or the fact I was being stared at by quite a handsome, but old man.

“Aren't you also part of the Avatar Programme?” he inquired. I paused for a moment, unsure if I should tell him or not.

“Uh…not any more,” I say, to which he raises his eyebrow.

“Oh. May I ask why?”

“Something happened,” I didn't want to explain, that memory was too painful, “I'm sorry sir, I have to go,” I stood up from my seat suddenly, the only thing in hand was my tablet. Commander Quaritch grabbed my wrist as I turned to leave, alarming me a bit. My head snapped to my wrist as he looked at me, his blue eyes piercing through my own eyeballs. He grabbed the bottle, placing it in my hand before letting go. Meekly thanking him I hurried off. Speeding down the many hallways back to my shared bedroom, I slammed the door open then shut. Scaring my roommate Ruth. She didn't say a word as I crawled into my bed, tucking myself under my cover and bringing it over my head. The tablet and water bottle are still in my hand.

“Ummmm. Are you good?” I could hear Ruth ask, muffled by the cover. I didn't respond as she asked again, finally she yanked the cover off revealing my red flustered face. I hissed out of reflex as Ruth took a step back, her arms up and slightly nervous. “Alright, alright. Dude, you’re such a cat. Fine, I won't say anything.”

Part 2

#avatar x human reader #avatar x you #avatar x y/n #avatar x reader #avatar #jake sully #jake sully x reader #norm spellman #norm spellman x reader #avatar fanfiction #avatar fanfic

108 notes · View notes