#the story was interesting and complex. maybe slightly too long

[poetlcs]

books read in 2024 - no. 10

lady joker by kaoru takamura (trnsl.  marie lida &  allison markin powell )

[kiraridertime03]

We need to free the Weasel

A brief discussion about the way that Creature Commandos uses politics in its narratives.

Spoilers for it and everything else James Gun DC up to this point though, below the cut.

Also, it is a busy post, content warnings for discussions of white supremacists and cops, as it is necessary.

With the release of the trailer of James Gunn's Superman film, hype for his grand DC Universe has kicked into high gear, and for good reason. That trailer, no matter the quality of the final film, is a goddamn work of art. A piece of film that understands Superman better over the course of 2 minutes and 20 seconds than Zack Snyder did over the course of 3 overlong movies. That mixed with his solid back catalogue of Superhero films. However, slightly more obscurely, this universe has already started with the animated series Creature Commandos, and especially with the fourth episode, which released hours before Superman's trailer, shows the kind of skill and thought Gunn and co. are putting into this new universe.

At its front, Creature Commandos feels very... blunt, in a lot of ways. It's like The Suicide Squad but with Creatures! It's big and raunchy, being an animated series with blood and swearing and sex and whatnot. And, when it comes with its politics, some of the early villain's mooks are a bunch of weird incels, and one of the main characters constantly advocates for killing Nazis. It is a work that immediately shows its hand, making the type who would decry the wokeness of modern movies and games or whatever. However, with these early examples, it can feel like a bit too much, maybe. I love it, don't get me wrong, I'm the type to really enjoy blunt earnestness. Though, given the more comedic approach that many of these elements take in the early episodes, it can feel a bit like it's only there for the bit.

Where the series really starts to excel, though, is when it starts integrating its flashback segments. As a whole, even outside the point of this post, the flashbacks feel like a wonderful decision. A way of fleshing out our characters while giving each episode a distinct feel, justifying the series as, well, a series rather than just one long movie. However, here, I want to discuss some of its political ideas, and how they integrate. Because, for these, they integrate more thematically, being an undertone to each character's own story.

For the bride, her story is centered around this idea of the objectification of women. I mean, it makes sense. She was literally made to simply be the bride of Frankenstein, an object of his affection. However, as she gained her own independence, the masculine figure who feels he is owed her hand in marriage breaks out into a rage, harming her and the person she actually loves. This story is what gives her the cynical edge she gains in the series proper, giving her an interesting, sympathetic story while using the elements of said story to say something about how many men perceive woman. A strong enough parable that acts as an undercurrent for her character.

Then, we get to G.I. Robot's episode, a real tear-jerker of a thing about a silly robot character, the exact thing to set my brain off in all sorts of ways. Much of this story is designed to set up his tragic past, so that we can feel catharsis once he gets his big moment, then feel the tragedy when he gets brutally murdered. However, it again is saying a lot of complex things. Many have discussed the PTSD angle for GI, which I do see, however, in GI's story specifically, I see the way that the American state treats veterans. Like, think about it. This being who was forged and created for the purpose of making war, goes to war, then once the war is over, they are, best, used for spectacle on live TV (Where they are unable to properly adjust to the tone of peacetime, accusing the audience of being Nazis themselves), studied not to help them, but to make the next generation of soldiers even more efficient at their goal of warcraft, then thrown to the side when they are no longer useful. The man selling GI to the collector literally says he slipped through the cracks. It, again, is a wonderful metaphor that takes advantage of what GI is, and uses it to emphasize these issues in a more literal way. It is a lot easier to show a robot who was programmed in a specific way weird the room out than the rocky adjustments a veteran may have to go through. It then, also, shows the kinds of people who really benefit from this warcraft, those it appeals to. The collector who buys GI turns out to be a part of a White Supremacist group in America, a group of people who gladly use Nazi iconography, identify with it, and gladly push it. Those also happen to be the types who want to buy old war memorabilia. Obviously, not all war collectors are Nazis. But these are people who see this kind of might makes right ideology that America so often employs with its military, and latch onto it. GI, rightfully, finds this appaling, and kills them on sight. It is this wonderful moment from this delightfully twisted series.

However, even that could be seen as a tad blunt. Again, GI is very clear with his words, he doesn't hide much. So, where I see this series going from good to great is with Weasel's flashback segments. This begins when a lawyer, a member of a nonprofit, demands she see Weasel, as she is putting on a case for him. In essence, she states that, at least to her and her organization, he was unjustly prosecuted. To both Rick Flag and us, this seems absurd, as we have a lot of predisposed biases towards Weasel. You see, he is one of the few pre-existing characters in this cast. Weasel was previously seen in James Gunn's The Suicide Squad, though only briefly. There, as a member of the Decoy Team, he makes weird, gross noises, they make a joke about him having killed 27 kids, then have him promptly drown before the mission even starts (Though, in the post credit, it turns out he survived, because that's even funnier). Even if you hadn't seen that film (Which you should if you haven't), they reestablish all that in this series in the first few episodes, portraying him as a stupid, vulgar, violent creature who isn't worthy of rights. However, expertly, this is all a front.

In the flashbacks, we learn that Weasel only interacted with about 8 kids, a bunch of students left at an after school program. Contrary to what we had been told, he really just played around with the kids, chasing around a ball. They eventually get inside the school and, while messing with stuff they shouldn't have, start a small fire. However, some antics are afoot. While he is playing around, an old senile man sees this and, rather than asking about what's going on, decides to run back to his home, call the cops about what is a clear, if odd, misunderstanding, then grab his gun to try to take things into his own hands. And, as he does, shakily trying to shoot Weasel, he makes the problem of the small fire worse, shooting a gas canister behind them, turning the small fire into a school-destroying explosion and fire. Then, the cops show up. Many of the kids are already dead, seemingly, but one survived. So, as he pulls her out of the wreckage, what do the cops do? They start shooting. Throughout this whole sequence, the cops do nothing but shoot and get in the way of things. It all culminates in the final shots, where Weasel has dropped the kid after being shot. And, instead of either of them going to get the kid, they both pin Weasel down, try to pull him out. This leaves the young girl to be crushed.

This is a massive tragedy, a game of tragic misudnerstandings that gets kids killed. However, again, it does this by hiding its politics into a genuinely moving character based story to make them more effective. It is a story, in part, about our predisposed biases. I mean, the narrative literally sets this up. Characters around Weasel say things about him without him being able to have a say. Because he's a Weasel. Then, our characters make judgments based on what they believe and what they've heard from secondhand sources over what they actually see. Even when Weasel is his most violent (taking down Circe in episode 3), he does it to protect his teammates, and he doesn't actually kill her. In his backstory, characters make rash decisions based on their misinformed judgments in hopes of "protecting the kids," when all they are actually doing is harming them. They get 8 kids killed all because Weasel is a little freaky.

Then there's the cops themselves. It so masterfully uses showing rather than telling. The most it tells us is of the trail at the start, and again, this is moreso used as setup, playing into our dispositions. However, when it is time to actually depict the injustices, it shuts the fuck up. It doesn't just say that cops are bad with a couple of clear shitheads and moves on. It shows how cops are bad. Their only answer to this situation is violence. They don't actually serve their community, in this instance the children stuck in the fire, their only answer is to start shooting things. Because they have no other answer than state sanctioned violence. And they did this all with an episode about FUCKING WEASEL!

Now, imagine what they can do with Superman. It doesn't even have to be political, like these previous examples. However, to me, this shows that he can do what, to me, some of the best storytellers do. They weave every element of their story together with deliberate choices that strengthen each other. If anything, more than any well edited trailer, it is that that excites me about everything James is working on. Of course, he is doing this with a team, but James is the type to surround himself with smart people who understand these things inside and out. That one David Corenswet quote about the shorts proves that to me in shades. That's what gives me hope about these works. That they will be movies and shows that mean things. Which seems like a low bar, but hey, so many fail at it that it's kind of impressive.

[moons-and-mobility-aids]

Hopeless

Pairings: Pre-Poly!marauders x disabled!reader Summary: James is a total goner. And he knows Sirius and Remus are interested too. [wordcount: 1.3k words] Tags: fem!reader, wheelchair user!reader, friends to lovers, james potter POV Sirius's Realisation | James's Realisation | Remus's Realisation | The Plan

The sun dips low in the sky, casting long shadows over the Hogwarts grounds. You're seated by the Black Lake, its surface calm and glassy, reflecting the warm hues of sunset. The water sparkles with dappled light, mirroring the orange and pink swirls painted across the canvas of the evening sky.

A gentle breeze stirs the air, carrying the scent of wildflowers and the distant promise of rain. It lifts your robes ever so slightly, an almost playful gesture that brings a sense of peace to this solitary moment. The soft rustle of leaves in the wind is punctuated by the occasional call of a magical creature from the Forbidden Forest, their songs intertwining with the natural symphony of dusk.

You pull your knees closer to your chest, arms wrapped around them in a self-embrace. Your wheelchair is parked nearby on the grass, but for now, you find comfort in the connection between earth and self, grounding you in a world that often seems to be spinning too fast.

James is lying on the grass with Sirius, pretending to help him with his Transfiguration homework. His friend's voice drifts over him in a continuous stream, mostly complaints about the complexity of the assignment. But James isn't really listening.

His attention is elsewhere, drawn by the sound of your laughter as you engage with Remus' stories. The late afternoon sun illuminates your face, casting a warm glow that highlights the sparkle in your eyes and the curve of your smile against the backdrop of an azure sky turning to dusk.

Something about you seems different this summer. It's not just the physical changes—although those are noticeable too. You've grown taller, your frame appearing stronger despite the health challenges you've faced. But it's more than that. James can see it in the way you carry yourself, even seated in the wheelchair. There's a quiet strength radiating from you, a resilience that wasn't there—or perhaps he hadn't noticed—before.

James knows Sirius likes you too. It's in the way his eyes linger on you, just a moment too long, or how his arm casually drapes over your shoulders, hinting at something more than friendly banter. James isn't surprised—Sirius has always been a charmer—but this feels different, deeper somehow. And it does something strange to James's heart when he sees those familiar grey eyes soften at your laugh, at your mere presence.

And then, there's Remus. He's more reserved, but even he can't hide the light in his eyes when you're around. His voice takes on a softer tone, barely noticeable unless one knows to look for it. And James does. He notices the small smile that plays on Remus's lips when you speak, the way he leans in just a bit closer, as if drawn by your warmth.

James knows because he feels the same pull, the same inexplicable tug at his heart whenever you're near. He's in love with you, and maybe with Sirius, and maybe even Remus. The realization is both terrifying and exhilarating, like standing on the edge of a cliff and deciding whether to jump or stay put.

"James," you call, breaking the silence that has settled over him like a blanket. He looks up from the grass blades he's been absentmindedly tearing apart, his gaze meeting yours. Your smile is soft, patient—an antidote to the storm brewing within him. "You alright?"

"Yeah," he mumbles, adjusting his glasses with the back of his hand. Heat creeps up the back of his neck, but he tries to hide it, focusing on the specks of dirt under his fingernails. "Just thinking."

"About what?" You tilt your head, your hair catching the sunlight. It's a simple question, but it feels heavy, weighted with all the unspoken words that have been lingering between you.

His eyes dart towards Sirius, who's now idly tossing pebbles into the lake, then to Remus, whose attention seems more focused on you than the book in his lap. James swallows hard, feeling the gravity of everything left unsaid. But with you, it doesn't seem unbearable; instead, it feels like possibility.

"About how... how incredible you are," he blurts out before his brain can catch up with his mouth.

Your eyes widen for a fraction of a second, and there's a flicker of something across your face—surprise or doubt or maybe even hope—but it's gone as quickly as it came.

"Incredible?" Your laughter is a soft melody, but a blush blooms on your cheeks. "I'm not that special."

"Of course you are." James's voice is low, almost a whisper now. It's as though he's entrusting you with a secret, hoping you'll guard it close to your heart. He swallows hard, his Adam's apple bobbing with the motion. "You're... you're amazing."

Sirius raises an eyebrow from where he's lounging, his expression unreadable. James fears he's said too much, given away something he never intended to reveal. But Sirius simply smirks, glancing between you and James.

"Oi, James," Sirius drawls, reclining further. "If you're going to declare your undying love for her, at least wait until I've finished my homework. Don't need to be scarred for life."

Your laughter rings out again, this time with more depth and warmth. "Like that'll ever happen, Black."

James tries to join in the mirth, but there's a tightness in his chest that has nothing to do with laughter. He looks at Sirius again, and their eyes meet for a moment—just long enough for James to see the unspoken agreement there. Sirius understands. He always does.

As the last rays of sunlight dance upon the horizon and the stars begin to peek from their celestial hiding places, you feel a collective sigh pass through your group. It's time to return to the castle, to trade the freedom of the lakeshore for the looming walls of Hogwarts. Remus stands beside you, ready to help you transition from the grassy bank to your chair.

A few steps behind, Sirius walks with James, their strides synchronised despite the silence stretching between them. It's not an awkward silence, but one filled with unvoiced thoughts and unshared concerns. The tension is palpable even as they keep their faces carefully neutral, their focus on the path ahead.

"You love her," Sirius states, his voice low and barely audible. It's not a question.

James halts mid-step, turning to look at his friend. Sirius' gaze is distant, fixed on some unseen point beyond the castle walls. His usual bravado is gone, replaced by a stillness that speaks volumes. The lines of his face are drawn tight, and his hands, usually animated with grand gestures, are tucked deep into the pockets of his robe.

"Yeah," James admits finally, because there's no point in denying it—not to himself, and certainly not to Sirius. "I do."

The silence stretches between them, a chasm filled with unsaid words and unvoiced fears. James watches as Sirius' jaw tenses, the only sign that he's wrestling with thoughts too complex to articulate. The seconds tick by, each one a testament to the gravity of their situation.

"I do too," Sirius confesses at last, his voice barely more than a whisper. The admission hangs heavy in the air, a secret laid bare under the weight of the moonlight.

James exhales, not aware he had been holding his breath. He wants to say something—anything—to ease the tension, but words fail him. Then Sirius looks at him and there's that familiar crooked grin, the one that always managed to reassure James they could face anything—as long as it was together.

"Guess we're both hopeless then, eh?" Sirius's tone is light, but his grey eyes hold a depth of understanding that goes beyond their years.

James returns the grin, feeling an odd sense of relief. "Yeah. Hopeless."

[rejectedfables]

rewatching House MD, and s1ep10 "Histories" is just such a masterpiece in crafting empathy for the unhoused, and it's striking me how much I miss characters who are allowed to be complicated and messy and deeply flawed even WHILE they impart a heavy-handed lesson to the audience. And how much more effective those lessons are when said characters ARE complicated and messy and deeply flawed.

In the episode, a homeless woman is brought to the ED, and House, Foreman, and Wilson clash over how to handle it. Wilson is immediately invested, Foreman is immediately dismissive, and House's interest in the case is piqued by wanting to learn why Foreman hates homeless people.

Foreman, who's perspective is the least sympathetic but the most like how the average irl person perceives and responds to unhoused people, is never given a backstory justification for his views. House assumes he's angry at an unhoused loved one, or perhaps he's just a snob, but the audience learns that Foreman's instinct to distrust Victoria was correct; she WAS trying to manipulate the system. AND she is also extremely ill. Foreman is merely forced, against his will, to observe her pain until he cannot ignore it anymore. He is dragged to empathy and compassion and emotional investment in her wellbeing, and he is rewarded with a lesson he will never unlearn.

Wilson starts the episode invested, remains invested, and is unsurprised by the ultimate tragedy of the episode. We are then told that, 9 years prior, he lost contact with his brother, who was homeless. We are shown that he was forced, in the past, against his will, to face the reality of homelessness.

In the beginning, Foreman dismisses Victoria's need to be there, saying homeless people lie about ailments so they can sleep in the hospital. In the middle, she admits that that is actually why she came in. He was right. By this point she is actually observably very ill with multiple serious ailments. In the end, she dies of something she would have been treated for long ago, if she were not homeless.

Wilson and Foreman dig into her past and discover that years ago she, while driving, had caused a car crash that killed her husband and son. We, the audience, are left to assume that that event led to a series of events culminating in her current unhoused status. She is an unreliable narrator of her own story, she is paranoid and scared and she attacks a doctor, she is an artist, she is a nice person, she DID lie to get help, AND she DID really need that help. And by the time she was in the hospital getting help from a team of atypically invested doctors, said help was too little too late to save her.

The complexity does not detract from this story or this lesson, it is an inherent part of it.

And I can't help feeling that the same episode, if it were filmed now (or perhaps what I mean is, if it were filmed at any time but with slightly less care), would give Foreman a backstory reason to distrust, and Wilson would NOT need a backstory reason to be compassionate, framing Goodness as default and Badness as other. Victoria would be a sympathetic victim of others evils, only ever kind despite her pain, dismissed despite pure intentions. She would be diagnosed with something that could affect anyone, showing that the homeless are just like the housed; we're all the same, actually. And maybe she would be cured, and offered help (money, a job, access to a shelter), to teach the audience, bittersweetly, that systemic problems can be overcome if you know the right people.

Instead, this episode was expertly written. Dismissal of the unhoused is commonplace and normalized. Compassion comes rarely and is hard won. People from any economic background can and do become unhoused. People in bad situations are inherently going to be complicated, and sometimes their situation IS their fault in one or many ways, and they still need help and support and medical care, and dismissing their needs is both easy and wrong. Unhoused people face many different problems than housed people do, their lives are different in many ways, and they are deserving of compassion despite and BECAUSE of this; being different does not make them less than. Systemic class oppression and the othering of unhoused people costs those people their lives in every way and at every level, and this is a tragedy. This is a tragedy.

This is a tragedy.

[sweetpaintedladie]

mmm my spark notes after my first watch of the new anita documentary:

- it was good! i really liked it! loved hearing her story and being able to fit it in between others accounts of the same events. the archival footage was a really great bonus too, as you really almost felt like you knew the family by the end, incredibly intimate. i think her voice is so important in contextualizing so much of the stones history, and one that has been sorely needed in really understanding certain ins and outs of the band, their dynamics, and their music.

- by the same account, i feel as though you really need nuance to understand and watch the film through the appropriate lens. obviously, being anita’s story, it’s skewed towards anita’s perspectives on things. to watch the film is to understand you are seeing an image of anita that has already been slightly altered by time. there’s no discussion of her fascination with nazi propaganda [which is documented elsewhere and widely common knowledge on her], her violent outbursts and manipulative behavior are explained away [also documented rather widely]. obviously these things were inner circle knowledge for a long time, and in the past ten to twenty years have come out for the wider public to know, so her lack of acknowledgment towards them is to be understood - they aren’t flattering and can’t be explained away [even if that’s attempted].

i loved it for finally hearing anita speak on the world she was so instrumental in creating as her own. i think it’s valuable to hear about such a complex and singular woman through her own words, pictures, and videos. i will also be revisiting quite soon, i know that. i think she has an amazing knack for style in her work that make it so engaging and almost intoxicating, drawing you back. one of the most interesting and honest reflections on the stones era that has been given, from someone in the center of the nucleus. i almost wish it was just more of her perspective as opposed to others accounts of what happened around her. but that’s just first watch, maybe i’ll feel different in a while. i still really liked it though !!

[ye-olde-sodor]

Ok so I just found something weird about Ryan and Thomas' classes…

I was looking into the LB&SCR E2s and GNR N2s because I wanted to write some fanfiction with Thomas and Ryan. As I was reading some Wikipedia articles, something caught my eye, and that was the difference in Traction Effort.

In simplest terms, Traction Effort is basically the amount of pushing and shoving forces that an engine has. The higher the number, the more the engine can pull and push. It’s measured in both Kilo-Newtons (kN) and in Pounds Force (Ibf). 1 kN is equivalent to 22.8 Ibf. There is a way to calculate an engine’s Traction Effort but the formula is super complex even in its simplified form and I suck at math. If anyone wants to double check this, be my guest.

So, according to Wikipedia and its subsequent sources, Ryan’s traction effort is 19,945 lbf (88.72 kN). Thomas, meanwhile, has 21,397 lbf (94.78 kN).

If this is accurate to both the E2s and the N2s, then that means that Thomas had nothing to worry about. Thomas is, at least from a traction effort standpoint, the better engine. Yes, there are other factors when determining which engine is better, but Thomas beats Ryan in one of the most important factors, that being how much he can pull and push.

“So Thomas was jealous for no reason? We already knew that, so what’s the point?" Well dear reader, you’d be half right. See, here’s where things get interesting.

I’m sure we all know that the E2s sucked at their job. They were too big to work on the lines they were meant for and had a plethora of other issues. Their small bunkers made them unfit for long distances, and the Second Series (the ones with the extended side tanks that were supposed to replace the first) had an inadequate water supply. Due to these issues, they didn’t last long and they were all withdrawn and scrapped between 1961 and 1963.

What I bet you’d probably figured out by now is that Ryan’s class faired far better than Thomas’ class. While most were withdrawn much sooner than Thomas’ (from 1955 and 1962), they were frequently used and considered reliable. Most of Ryan’s siblings worked at Kings Cross and Moorgate as suburban passenger services, meanwhile the E2s were kept mostly at docks and yards at London Bridge Stations and Victoria and hardly did anything but shunt. On top of all of this, Ryan's class had a much better fuel and water capacity.

Now take all of this info and place it in context of SLOTLT.

Imagine a SLOTLT movie that shows us that Thomas is insecure about his faults despite his numerous rebuilds. Then in comes this fancy new GNR engine that, while slightly weaker than Thomas, can travel farther thus can deliver more trains across Sodor. Now have that same engine show off this ability on Thomas' own branchline. On top of all of that, have everyone brag and comment on how better Ryan is as a passenger train than Thomas. Cut back to Thomas at the construction site hearing about this, and becoming furious (but moreso scared) about Ryan and becomes convinced he's being replaced.

Now imagine Ryan being the one to pull the shipwreck instead of Donald and Douglas. Now Thomas is convinced he's being replaced and either sent away to another railway or sold for scrap.

It's a small fix but it makes such a difference. It helps explain why Thomas becomes so reckless and irritable in the movie and when Sailor John rolls in with Skiff, he feels more willing to help him since "Hey, he bought Skiff, maybe he can buy me if I prove myself to him!"

There are so many other stories we can write using all of this, and you all know damn well I'm gonna abuse the hell out of this lol.

[topazadine]

Common Writing Issues that Reduce Readability

A short little Monday post so that we stop pissing readers off!

Beyond the usual issues that are easily fixed, like typos, there lie a few more pernicious problems that can drag readers out of a story kicking and screaming. Unfortunately, they happen to nearly everyone, no matter their skill level, and must be watched for carefully.

Now, I want to note that I am never attempting to prescribe how you should write. However, I want you to think back to the last time you read something that made you roll your eyes and give up - it's likely that at least one of these problems was present.

Here is the sum-up, and then we'll talk details. I will be showing examples of my own writing that include these deadly sins, so feel free to point and laugh.

Double describing

Overly long sentences

Overexplaining

Head hopping

Again, a big disclaimer.

I can't tell you how to write, this is just my opinion, you are the crafter of your own story, take what you like and leave the rest.

Alright, let's get into it.

Double Describing

Describing the same thing in two different ways right next to one another feels repetitive and annoying; it comes across as self-indulgent, like you're more interested in showing off how smart you are than telling a story. I have been a perennial offender in this, as shown by my story "Beyond Mortal Sight."

Here, I've highlighted the things that were double-described in blue. This includes:

The underworld

Higekiri

The crypt

The room being mostly empty

Pick the strongest descriptor and cut the other ones. You might think that this makes your writing weaker, but it actually strengthens it, as you're not diluting the description and can move along faster.

If you're not sure whether you're double describing, try removing one of the selections and see if you're still describing what you wanted to. Maybe you just need to tweak one of them, but both of them can still stand on their own; in that case, differentiate them more, or move them so that they are not right next to each other in order to provide better emphasis.

Now, sometimes you really do want to linger on a specific description, and that's fine. However, you need to ensure that you're looking at different aspects of the same thing.

I do end up lingering on the moths for a long while, and it doesn't get too repetitive (at least I don't think so) because I'm describing different elements of them.

Overly Long Sentences

The longer a sentence is, the harder it is to emphasize certain things, and the more likely that a reader will get lost aong the way and need to reread things. Of course, we want readers to take our time with the work, but paradoxically, readers are more willing to linger and reread with shorter sentences because they're not getting frustrated and glossing over key elements.

Take a look at this section of my story "A Tale of Two Citadels," which I've been meaning to rework for ages because it has chronic logorrhea. The sheer length of these damn sentences!

Right off the bat, we see that the first sentence blasts past the typical "four lines max" rule. The second one is slightly better, but it still has way too many clauses and can be confusing. The third one can easily be cut up into at least two sentences, maybe three, without losing the rhythm.

When reworked, you can see how much better it flows by the color coding.

The sentences are still complex, but they're more manageable for readers. The longer a sentence, the more difficult it is, and the more likely that your reader will get lost.

At the same time, you do want some complexity and variety in your sentence lengths. These are all about the same length, which can become a bit boring.

If I were really committed to editing this, I'd go further and add some very short sentences too.

Reading your sentences out loud, or using an auto dictation tool, can be very helpful to see whether you're overdoing it with sentence length. If you have to stop to take multiple breaths while reading a single sentence, then it is probably too long.

You can also color-code while you are editing to see whether your sentences are all around the same length. If so, see if you can cut a few of them up.

Overexplaining

This issue often shows up more when we are explaining why something happened, but it can start to feel boring and repetitive. As an example from my story "Shattered Pieces:"

This part happened right after someone was stabbed and, frankly, takes away a LOT of the tension from the story.

Is it really necessary at this exactly this second, when someone is lying on the ground bleeding, to explain why the incident happened? No, it's not. Half of this could be removed and the story would read so much better, like so:

Now we can move to the juicy stuff of Uguisumaru lying on the ground bleeding to death. Much more important.

A crucial element of writing is to reveal details as they become important, not before. This doesn't mean hiding things from your reader, nor throwing in things at random whenever you feel like; rather, it's about not forcing your reader to do the work of holding onto this information in the hopes that it will become important at some later time.

Is what Mikazuki thinking about here really that important to the overall story? No, we don't need that information. Maybe they can talk about it later, or maybe it will never be discussed.

Now, a quick sidetrack about foreshadowing here. Great foreshadowing works by not feeling like toil and by not beating the reader over the head with the information. They pick up on it, but they don't feel like they need to hold onto it. Careful foreshadowing sprinkled throughout a story feels effortless and natural, without imposing a cognitive load on the reader.

As I've mentioned before when discussing fantasy in general, we do not want our reader to feel like they are doing work. Few of us are at the level of someone like Mark Z. Danielewski, where we can create a book that is all about doing work but readers will still enjoy it because it is that entertaining. (I did not like House of Leaves personally, but that's just me.)

Therefore, our goal is to reduce friction as much as possible while still developing a fun, compelling, thought-provoking piece of fiction. We do this by avoiding infodumping, as I did in that above passage, and revealing information as it becomes important without seeming like things just come out of nowhere. That's where foreshadowing becomes crucial.

Head Hopping

This one is discussed often, but it's also really easy to accidentally do when you're working in third-person limited (my preferred POV). In small cases of dipping into someone else's head, it doesn't really cause concern for the reader, who might not even notice it, but it does make it harder to keep track of the main POV.

It's also important not to dip too often into peoples' heads while you're doing omniscient POV, either. Here, in this segment of "Dreams Within Dreams," we have at least four partial POVs, which I have color coded:

This is technically fine for an omniscient POV, but dipping into too many heads too quickly can become overwhelming and exhausting for the reader. Thankfully, it is an easy fix by simply removing the assumptions of judgment and focusing entirely on the actions.

I mean, it's still not the greatest writing, but we have a more opaque, birds-eye view of everyone, rather than constantly jumping in and out of everyone's head.

This is especially hard not to do when you have numerous characters all together in one scene, which is why it is often easier to avoid having a huge group of individuals together, especially if you're not confident in your skills yet.

The more characters you juggle, the more you need to ensure that you're not leaving anyone out and that everyone gets at least one line without it feeling choppy. This scene definitely could have used a lot more work so as to feel more natural. But that's the joy of fanfiction! It's all about learning and growing as a writer.

Nowadays, I try to limit my scenes to two "main" talkers and then add at least one line for other side characters if I have a big group, but I specify that they're off doing something else so people don't wonder where the hell they went.

And that's about it for today! Again, my posts are never about telling you how to write. I am sharing what I have learned as both a reader and writer so that you can make the choices that best fit your story. Happy writing!

If you enjoyed this, perhaps you'll consider purchasing my book, 9 Years Yearning, a gay coming-of-age romance set in a fantasy world. Which does not include any of these sins. Only $2.99 or ZERO DOLLARS with Kindle Unlimited!

If you're not sure about spending your hard-earned money, check out this review to learn more.

[evelhak]

Hey! So we talked about Kuroko and Haizaki, and now I’m curious in your vision of other Kuroko interactions.

Not shipwise, since I know you only do kagakuro, but in terms of dynamics, what are your fav characters to write Kuroko with?

Lets say, top 3 GoM and top 3 non-Gom?

Oh my friend how you're letting me go nuts again.

May I suggest you get a cup of your favourite drink and maybe some snacks?

Also how do you expect me to choose...? Hmm okay, to make things slightly easier for myself I'll exclude Kagami of course since I've been talking about them a lot already and I also believe I've talked about Momoi at length at least twice in relation to Kuroko so I'll define GOM in the strictest sense for this, but I also won't count either of them as non-GOM haha. I hope that makes sense.

Okay, not surprisingly, I'm going to start with Aomine. I love writing him with Kuroko particularly because when he's at his worst they are absolute poison to each other and they don't really even know it for lot of the time or at least understand why, and that makes for peak relationships drama. (It's complex and I love it.) They have a particular way of feeding each other's weaknesses. When Aomine is stressed out, average Kuroko's communication style and philosophy actually makes him worse in the long run. Also Aomine at his worst makes Kuroko worse. This is because Kuroko's weaknesses at his most stressed resemble some of average Aomine's weaknesses (anxious, lonely and pessimistic) while average Kuroko's optimism and understanding actually give Aomine more room to spiral down because what he's subconsciously looking for is pushback and someone he can trust to practically force him to get it together and average Kuroko is always going to be too accepting for that. However. Here's the cool part. Aomine at his best has some of the strengths of average Kuroko (loyal, secure, taking care of others) which is why when he's getting better he's drawn to Kuroko's typical idealism and particularly when Kuroko is getting worse, Aomine actually steps up, and can empathise with Kuroko at his weakest because while it's a rock bottom for Kuroko it's all actually pretty mundane to Aomine and he can stay quite level-headed about it. Meanwhile Kuroko at his best can direct the same qualities productively as Aomine at his worst does destructively (confidence, independence, stubbornness), and that's why at his best Kuroko appears like he has got the answers Aomine has been looking for after all, because Aomine is actually looking for trust but he needs hard proof for it unlike Kuroko who at his average is just able to trust that things will turn out alright for no particular reason. This is in a nutshell why I love writing the larger scale of their dynamic. It just makes for such interesting plot twists.

Also it's so God damn funny sometimes. Like, I was writing a scene where Kuroko is pretty significantly sick and Aomine is pretty significantly enlightened and although it was a rather serious scene in my story, I just happened to come across a song from some musical that illustrates the inherent comedy of their practically reversed dynamic a 100%.

For contrast here's bit from Kuroko's POV when he had to take care of drunk Aomine:

I just find them hilarious to write and they bring me so much joy.

Then, I suppose the next one will have to be Kise. I just love how they poke at each other's insecurities and how incompatible their communication styles are. You're probably seeing a theme here? I just love it when characters' personalities collide in a way that causes a lot of friction and ultimately provides opportunities for growth, so long as both are eventually willing to go out of their comfort zone. Of course it's only so satisfying because there's so much they can help each other learn, which is true here as well. Kise and Kuroko can both be particularly annoying to each other, because Kise has this habit of putting the burden of interpretation of how serious he is on the other person and that really doesn't work with Kuroko so he's often particularly dismissive of Kise. And while Kise seems like he's bothered by it I think he actually finds it reassuring because it means that with Kuroko he can be as goofy, flirty, needy and attention-seeking as he pleases with zero consequences because Kuroko just deflects it. Obviously Kise actually doesn't want the kind of attention from his friends that he gets from elsewhere, so at his core he doesn't actually feel rejected by Kuroko, he feels quite secure. Meanwhile, I think Kuroko secretly likes the attention he's getting from Kise, because everyone needs some attention. Kise is getting too much so he finds Kuroko relaxing and Kuroko is getting too little so he finds Kise refreshing. And annoying. Because Kuroko actually craves direct and genuine interaction the most, and that's why Kise's way of avoiding it can get really tiresome for him, meanwhile Kise becomes instantly self-conscious and evasive when Kuroko attempts to get some unambiguously genuine expression of feelings out of him (unless they're on the basketball court of course where it's suddenly okay to let things go to your feels). So, as I want to develop their communication I end up writing stuff where Kuroko is quite fed up with their shallow interactions and attempts to get more under Kise's skin, which of course is way too much emotional work for Kise. But it slowly gets better, of course.

A lot of their interactions for me are also based on how Kuroko needs more of Kise's easy breezy "do things for the heck of it and don't think about the deeper meaning" attitude while Kise obviously needs the exact opposite and Kuroko is a great person to make him think about what things he's just doing because it's easy and provides instant gratification, and which things he would actually find meaningful in the long run. Kise has opportunities to make Kuroko less serious and Kuroko has opportunities to make Kise more so. I think Kuroko very much dislikes any shallow or vain feelings that he has and rejects them, but Kise can help him be more comfortable with that part of humanity, while Kise is scared of his deeper feelings, and Kuroko can help him with that instead. So both can find that the feelings they dislike in themselves or make them anxious still have their place and it's better to get acquainted with them.

It takes quite some time for them to get to a point they can understand this because it's obviously not fun trying to consciously work on your insecurities, but when they get there it's really satisfying.

Now I kind of feel like showing this development. So, here are three scene's from Kuroko's POV. Although two of them are with Kagami, but they are talking about Kise.

First one is a conversation on the phone.

About ten chapters later with Kise:

And then about 20 chapters later:

I just wanted to show you because writing this kind of development makes me so excited. (The sport they're talking about is quidditch/quadball.)

The third place is a really tough one because I enjoy writing Kuroko's interactions with every GOM and I think the reason I'm going to have to pick Midorima is actually not because I inherently prefer him, it's because his interactions with Kuroko naturally happen more because he lives closer than Akashi and Murasakibara. But this is how it is because the more I write interactions with characters the more I begin to like them. Kuroko and Midorima are a blast because of their completely opposing conceptualisations of the world. The funny thing is that they might not actually be as opposing as they seem, it's just that they are looking at the same thing from different angles and describing it in language that leads them to believe they disagree more than they do. Yes they also have completely different strategies to getting where they want but maybe it's not as stark as they sometimes seem to believe. This is where the most friction in their relationship comes from and I have done my absolute best to be fair about it, because I am so much more likely to see things in Kuroko's way and I despise horoscopes. So I think another reason I like to write these two so much is that it challenges my objectivity in a particular way.

Anyway, basically Midorima describes fate as something that is above humans while Kuroko basically says you can make your own fate, if you really simplify it.

But. I have these song lyrics in my mind...

"You can plan a pretty picnic, you can pick the perfect time, but you can't expect the weather to be fine".

That thought is still true for both of them. They would both agree to that from their different perspectives. So their views are not actually complete opposites. Just their reactions and how they deal with it, are.

As funny as it sounds, Midorima is actually uncomfortable with the 'supernatural' or abstract unseen realm of things, and that's why he's looking at sources outside of himself to control his thoughts about that which is uncertain. Meanwhile Kuroko can just casually be like "hey what if a meteorite hit the bench" and "cool let's go look for ghosts I've never actually seen one" because he doesn't fear the uncertainty. He is the uncertainty. For Midorima that is his pressure point. Kuroko gets strength from the thought that anything can happen because he feels familiar with and in control of the uncertain, so he believes he can work it to his advantage. For Midorima the idea that anything can happen is daunting because it feels like it pulls the rug from under him and his hard work. He just genuinely doesn't understand that realm of things, much like Kuroko just genuinely doesn't understand cold hard facts and numbers. And that's why they have trouble understanding each other, because they are always approaching things so differently even when they desire the same conclusion.

Anyway. I wanted to do something with Midorima that I felt canon didn't really do. I wanted his way of thinking to get Kuroko off guard and even question his view of reality a little. I wanted Midorima to be able to foresee something about Kuroko because of his strange relationship with fate and I wanted Kuroko to dismiss it because he thinks his way of thinking is above Midorima's. And ultimately Kuroko would be wrong. I thought this would bring more depth to their relationship.

I'm going to show you one key scene in that plot to illustrate some of the tensions in their interactions. This is Kuroko's POV and they are at Suutoku's cultural festival where Midorima is doing fortune-telling from tea leafs.

Alright, that's it for the GOM. I wonder if there's a limit with post length...

Then the others.

Well, there's Ogiwara. And he was not so discussed in depth in canon that I have definitely developed some of his personality on my own. He was obviously contrasted with Kagami and Aomine a lot and explicitly said to have some similarities but the way I see him, he is also similar to Momoi and Kiyoshi in a particular and pretty defining aspect, and that is that he can control the emotional atmosphere of the room. So, while Aomine and Kagami have a lot of physical presence, Ogiwara and these other two characters have a lot of social presence. But the way I see it Ogiwara is also the least manipulative of these examples, pretty chill in the way that he has less of an objective, like it's rarer for him to try to manipulate things to a particular end although he generally could if he wanted to. And I think that's because he mostly just wants everyone to be happy and to have a good time, which aligns well with Kuroko's instincts, so it's no wonder if their friendship was a pretty uncomplicated one before shit hit the fan.

There's actually very little conflict between them in canon that has anything to do with them as individuals. However that's also what makes the relationship kind of stagnant and less interesting because when there's no outside force, then there's nothing about them as people that makes them push each other enough to create the level of conflict and opportunity for growth as there is with some other characters. In some ways that's refreshing, but only as a breath of fresh air. Basically in a story it just makes for nice filler. There isn't enough meat to write for an extended period of time.

That's why, if I wanted to keep Ogiwara in the story in any meaningful way, I had to make something up, and I do enjoy what I came up with. A lot. One key aspect is miscommunication that is due to the fact that although Ogiwara is socially very smooth he doesn't quite understand that Kuroko is actually significantly less so, probably because Kuroko still has emotional intelligence and the ability to match a more a dominant personality (I mean this in a broad sense, not like dominating or something) in a way that makes interaction feel smooth, because the other person is the leading force whether they mean to be or not because Kuroko can pretty much just make it so. (Like in Kagami's case it's more like Kuroko is redirecting a lot of Kagami's emotions so he's not actually dominating it's more like he's Kuroko's 'material' unlike Ogiwara who actually means to lead the interaction.) So, Ogiwara has a habit of implying things, hinting at things, speaking with gestures and believing that Kuroko understands what he's saying, but actually the implications go completely over Kuroko's head. For example, their whole promise: Kuroko didn't understand that more than anything, for Ogiwara it was about staying in touch. Of course facing each other in a game was important and exciting in and of itself, but Kuroko took that way more literally than Ogiwara meant it, and became so single-minded about this one thing he thought his friend wanted from him, that he actually kind of forgot about talking, which led Ogiwara to misinterpreted it as Kuroko not missing their everyday interaction as much as he does. Because Ogiwara thought the implication of their promise was totally clear, while to Kuroko it wasn't. It takes kind of a lot to start seeing why things that are totally clear to one aren't so for another, so they repeat this miscommunication several times and it stretches out into the future so much that it turns out Kuroko's view of their childhood is in some significant ways different from Ogiwara's view of the same events.

Writing more of them together I also found that Ogiwara sees Kuroko in a quite different way from most people and can sometimes say stuff that other people probably wouldn't say:

I'm not saying he's right or wrong, and out of context it may seem like he's undermining the fact that Kuroko didn't have much options, but it's more complicated than that, just too much to explain here. I just put this here because it's interesting contrast to write someone with a little bit different perspective to some things, because his key points with Kuroko have been so different from that of the other characters in the canon timeline which Ogiwara was mostly absent for.

A character whose interactions with Kuroko I actually write way less than I would like is Furihata. Because they have similar temperaments in ways pretty much no other characters do, and I feel they would make the kind of friends who are perfect for peer support and venting to, if either of them could just be a little more proactive about it, but that's the difficulty with a similar temperament, isn't it? It's not just my fault, it's not just that the story is already so bloated from these other relationships, it's that both of them are also going to respect each other's space too much and are generally the type to just sort of let things in relationships develop in their own time. Obviously they both have a lot of drive to make things happen when they need to, but when they don't need to, they are both the type to be more likely to just sit back and watch things develop. So circumstances would need to force them closer to get closer. So far such circumstances happen here and there but not that much. Most often it's Furihata needing emotional support and Kuroko being there, because he has already gone through the same thing. This happens several times in my writing. It takes a while for things to turn the other way around because Furihata is more likely to seek comfort from someone, and Kuroko is more reserved in that way, but once Furihata grows aware of their similarities and differences he also makes more effort to make sure Kuroko knows he can be relied upon too, which fits quite well with Furihata's growth into a captain which is part of my headcanon too.

This is probably his sharpest moment so far, after Seirin's darkest moment in my story. (Kagami's POV)

Then there's Yagi who practically counts as an OC because I've invented like 90% of his personality but I love him so I'm going to talk about him. Yagi is sort of like if Aomine and Furihata fused in some ways. His insecurities come from lack of experience and skills but he reacts to them in a similar way as Aomine to his overwhelming skills, feeling like he's alone and no one can possibly help him. He's more even-tempered and timid, but his negativity comes through in a passive-agressive way and he basically needs someone to kick his butt at all times and he punishes people emotionally if they don't. You can imagine this creates some very intense conflict with Kuroko whose gentle approach to helping Yagi integrate into the team just... doesn't work AT ALL because he's an even harder person for Kuroko to be tough on than Aomine. Kuroko can kick butt when it's Kagami or another openly aggressive person as long as they are not being vulnerable. But Yagi is like... Nope. Nothing is getting through because he wants someone to boss him around but you're supposed to figure that out on your own and Kuroko wants someone who will tell him what they need from him. Match made in heaven right. Well, still it's not hopeless once Kuroko does figure out which string to pull (with the help of Aomine haha). But yeah, it's a minefield. (Not to mention Yagi also starts out as homophobic.) But they do develop when Kuroko realises that he needs something new to help him stay out of sight and Yagi is exactly that because he's radiating negative, passive energy as much as Kagami is radiating positive, active energy so when Kuroko uses both of them he has a double cover as the neutral point between these two energies. But what makes this difficult for Kuroko to figure out is that while Kuroko is technically using Kagami to hide himself he's not using Kagami in a sense that he would need to control him. Kagami is doing what Kagami wants, and Kuroko is using that which Kagami would be doing anyway. But Yagi isn't going to do anything unless someone makes him. It is when Kuroko realizes that Yagi is actually begging to be used, that the game changes. Despite of appearing otherwise Yagi has basically zero ego. He just wants to be useful but he wants other people to tell him how. (Akashi should have used someone like Yagi not Mayu lol.) This was difficult for Kuroko to get, because despite of being as team-oriented as he is, being a shadow was still always a sacrifice for him. Had he been able to he would have wanted to be more "normal". And he still does have enough ego to want to create something for himself and be in control even if it's in a less traditional more subtle way, and he mistakenly believed Yagi would want the same. But Yagi doesn't have that kind of desire. Kuroko is willing to sacrifice himself. Yagi enjoys it. Yagi is a "soldier". Well, in this case, Kuroko is the trickster and Yagi is the rabbit= the star of the magic show who isn't actually doing anything but who things are being done to.

Or...? (Kuroko's POV)

I just love to play with metaphors.

I don't have the best action writing skills to get the most exciting games out of this idea (and a lot of it is probably so out there that it wouldn't even work) but I am actually very proud of how it plays in the interpersonal and metaphorical realm of the story.

Okay. That's it for now. Looks like I didn't run out of space. I hope I managed to keep you interested.

[nomatterwhatnomatterwhere]

(Hustle) Like an Underdog II

prev

You wouldn't have called yourself an avid reader; it wasn't as if you never touched a book that wasn't scholastic, but it also wasn't as if the bookstore next door gave you the award for most frequent visitor or most profitable customer.

You don't call yourself an avid reader because you don't have a collection of books piled on top of each other on your nightstand waiting to be read; you don't sort books by color, height, or genre; you even happen to write in them sometimes, on books.

All things that horrify readers-the real ones, the ones who have the complete collection in different adaptations, the ones who can tell you the story behind the publication, the ones who know the author's life story inside out.

You were never interested in those things.

Reading was just another pastime, a way to keep yourself busy when you were bored and didn't quite know how to use your free time.

Sometimes, however, when you thought a book was worthy enough of your attention, you didn't even realize how much time was passing while you were reading and you were captivated by the story.

You don't have a favorite genre because any genre may be worthy of your attention, just as one genre specifically may not be enough to keep your interest high or may lead you to ignore other genres you might like.

Kind of like people.

To be appreciated or not, a book needs time and attention to be given to it, only then can you tell whether what you have read is the "novel of a lifetime"-the one you always suggest when asked what book to read-, a "boring and predictable nineteenth-century detective story"-the murderer is the butler and you figured that out from page 12-or a "frustrating romcom that relies on poor communication skills"-this one ended up in the fireplace burning.

Kind of like people: they need time to be understood even a little bit.

But people, unlike books, change, so the process of understanding a person is slightly different from understanding a book, regardless of whether it is "The Little Prince" or "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs."

Sometimes when you reread a book after not having read it for a long time, you notice things that you wouldn't have noticed at all when you first read it. It's not just the little foreshadowings of the plot that you recognize because you already know how the book will end, it's a different level of reading than before: if before you had only enjoyed, more or less, the story, now you understand the story and its motivations.

This does not happen because the book has changed in the time that you have not read it.

This happens because you have matured in that time that you did not read that book.

To understand a person you need time, but that person changes with the passage of time itself.

Being able to understand the human psyche is a rather interesting and complex skill to use despite the fact that it can be achieved in a simpler way than you think.

You just have to be able to read and know the different levels of reading.

Read their little ticks, the ones they are not even aware of, microexpressions or changes in tone. The way their eyes may light up when an interest of theirs is mentioned or how they will avoid eye contact when they are embarrassed and want to change the subject.

It is something that takes time, but when you work ardently for something you always get results. Maybe on the first try they won't be great results, but they will improve with time.

Time is a relative concept, and one does not need to know the theory of relativity to understand this fact.

Man is a bizarre animal: he has established how universally the flow of time should be measured, but this flow is perceived differently by everyone according to the events in our lives that we deem important or memorable.

Between the end of the first and the beginning of the second selection you had felt that time was running too fast for you to be able to do everything you needed to do.

You had gone through all the data of the surviving existences and noted their improvements, pointing out where they still needed to improve, their speed of adaptation, and how they could make the most of their potentials under their current conditions.

All this was then checked and reviewed by Ego, who always added something to your observations; once Ego approved them, the documents were passed on to Anri san. Once in Anri san's hands, the data were entered into the software that the boys would use in the first stage of the second selection.

In addition to that Ego had updated you on the Wild Card, which was what you considered his Side Project, but which you were not sure you could call a Plan B.

You knew from the beginning of the BlueLock Project that there was this Wild Card, but other than the fact that some sort of repechage of some players would take place, you did not know in what manner it would be done.

When Ego gave you the Wild Card guidelines the first selection was still in progress, albeit in its final stages, and you did not quite understand what Ego expected you to do. Initially you thought you would simply have to pass more papers to Anri san, then you realized that Ego expected you to act on that Side Project, and so between 'player analysis you found yourself sketching out something for the project.

You were not totally satisfied with your work, you could definitely do better, but apparently your basis for the project was solid enough for Ego, which was already a great satisfaction for you. Any person with any knowledge of soccer history-so not the boorish existences participating in the project-knows how much Jinpachi Ego strives for perfection in his projects.

You didn't know when the Wild Card was going to be integrated into the Blue Lock Project, you just knew that Ego had taken your fundamentals and elevated them to their fullest potential, and that worried you a little in truth: from your point of view, you had already been quite rigid in your ideas, and knowing that they had been made even more difficult made it difficult for you not to worry about the possible consequences that the repossessed players might face.

From time to time you had also found yourself acting as an assistant to Anri san, who between meetings to go to, meetings to arrange, and various personnel to contact seemed to have no respite. You had answered a few phone calls and negotiated a couple of meeting dates, nothing extraordinary, but Anri san seemed grateful for the help.

It had seemed to you that the time between the first and second selection had passed too quickly, but for the surviving existences you were pretty sure it had been an eternity.

Training without being able to touch the ball must have been comparable to torture for those existences that had little footballs in their heads instead of neurons, when they were thinking about something instead of the gears turning you could hear the footballs crashing into each other.

You had seen how that bunch of mainly pathetic existences had entered the hall for the start of the second selection: A bunch of zombies in a bad apocalyptic movie were more graceful than they were.

There were existences, some of which you could almost have called tragic, that still possessed some grace or some form of charisma, but most of the "lumps of talent" were really in a pathetic condition.

Had that training exhausted them that much? Then they were even weaker physically than you had anticipated.

It had been funny to see how everyone had been surprised by Itoshi Rin's presence. You weren't sure what was funnier: the reaction to his "warm-up"? The fact that he hadn't made the slightest fuss about starting the second phase? The realization that he was Itoshi Sae's little brother?

Overall, his entrance had been intriguing, exactly as you expected him to be.

After Rin had officially kicked off the second selection, the other amoeboid existences had remembered they existed and started walking through the doors, but your eyes had been fixed on Team Z for a while.

How could you look away when those idiots had decided to use Chinese morra to decide the order of entry for the selection?

The imbeciles had taken Ego's concept of selfishness too seriously and in the wrong situation.

The first step of the second selection was what in your head you had called " imprisonment."

It was not as if the Blue Lock itself could not be considered a prison, but for you those 90 minutes had been endless and tiring and at times even boring.

You already had half an idea of who would make the best of "Imprisonment," you had watched them all during the first selection and had not been surprised in the rapidity of some subjects in evolving their individual skills during the first stage.

"Imprisonment" had two main purposes to make it obvious to the pathetic existences how incapable they were in the absence of other truly capable players and to actually improve the physical performance of the players who had figured out how to turn 0 into 1 and make the most of their abilities and potential.

You had tried to observe more or less everyone, but if for some it had taken only a few glances now and then to realize that their neuron-balls and reactions were working well and improving rather expeditiously, for others you got a headache from watching them repeat the same mistakes over and over again.

And then there was Shidou Ryusei, who was certainly trying hard to annoy you, taking longer than you had budgeted to finish the first Stage.

The demon-as he had been named by his fellow students in the building-had come to socialize with you before you had even decided it was worthwhile to relate to the pathetic existences, and, despite the bad temper and questionable moral ethics, he had not made you the least bit uncomfortable.

He was one of the few people in his building who used the monitor room, and every time he watched the games he really looked like a kid who had been given his favorite candy.

He was adorable, if you put aside his being a foul-mouthed.

From your point of view, he had a major behavioral flaw: he did whatever he wanted, heedless of what he was told. He had a code of ethics, but you had yet to fully decipher it. On the soccer field, however, he was one of the best players in the Blue Lock and had earned hands down a place among your favorites; not that you would have admitted it in front of him, he was self-centered enough as it was.

He had approached you, trying to strike up a conversation, but with little result: you were having dinner in the cafeteria of his building at a really awful hour, but you had waited for the pathetic existences to dislodge from the room, and yet, after only a few minutes the chair next to you had been occupied by a very tanned guy with a shit-eating grin on his face who had continued to stare at you while you were eating and then had followed you around the building trying to have some sort of conversation.

The situation had remained the same for quite a while; when he didn't have matches or wasn't training, he would wander around the building until he found you and then continue to follow you around, trying to get you to talk to him, failing miserably.

Until your meeting with Bachira.

From there you began to answer some of Shidou's questions and even some of his flirtations; it seemed to amuse him and somehow you would dare say excite him. Of the boys you had socialized with in the Blue Lock he was the most affectionate of all, leaning on you at every opportunity and circumstance, pouting when you ignored him.

At one point he had started calling you 'Babydoll.'

And you were definitely confused by that.

Shidou was attractive, there was no point in denying it, and probably outside of Bluelock he was used to smooth flirting-and you were pretty convinced he did it pretty well, too-but the fact that he was asking you out seemed more like a playful joke than a real possibility.

It wasn't that you were ugly, but you weren't the prettiest girl in the world either; you considered yourself to be within the norm, and indeed, living in BlueLock you realized that there were much prettier guys within the project than you could ever aspire to be.

This is not a way of underestimating you, it is an objective thing… moreover, you are particularly idiotic when it comes to possible romantic relationships: you don't consider yourself a person who is so much worthy of attention so you find it hard to believe that said attention could be directed to you as a person - given your questionable character - when there are so many other people in the world who are surely nicer and more pleasant than you, and you often don't notice at all the effect you can have on others.

Kind of like what happened with Shidou; the fact that no one else in his building approached you is because the little camp demon somehow called dibbs on you and the other players care about having their limbs intact.

Not that you have heard that

The formation of teams of three was something quite interesting, especially when most existences had nothing to rely on but their prior knowledge.

You had identified three decision paths

1 ) Rely on your rational side

It is definitely unnatural to choose someone whom you have never seen in action and whose capabilities you do not know : they may have passed the first stage, but it may also have been luck-as it was for many survivors-and not having an objective demonstration of someone else's capabilities, it was much safer for your own survival to choose someone familiar.

This was the path most wannabe-players had chosen; you didn't have much to laugh at : it was a safe tactic, boring and obvious, but safe.

2 ) I don't care ( as long as I shine).

Then there were those who didn't care so much who they formed a Team with, as long as they kept going through the selection process.

Rin and Barou were two clear examples, although the outcomes of their Teams were markedly different, partly because of the way they played ( as well as their character on the field)

3 ) I want something extra

These were the cases that fascinated you the most: they were players who, though it may not have seemed like it, had analyzed those around them and decided accordingly. Two totally opposite examples were Shidou and Kurona, who regardless of everything and everyone had a way of playing that made them good elements for any group

( although Shidou was unmanageable on the field if they did not do as he said)

Seishirou Nagi was a mix between 1 and 3, but you couldn't say you expected otherwise: he was a being who was easily bored and needed stimulation to continue, and Isagi was the one who had interested him in soccer.

You should have seen how Reo would fare; you expected this situation, it would come sooner or later, even if it came slightly earlier than expected for you.

When you had seen Igaguri ask Shidou to join him you had begun to laugh in a way that worried Anri san

"That imbecile has no idea what awaits him" was what Anri understood between laughs.

Igaguri had been used to being the tail end of the team since he arrived and was probably the most aware of his shortcomings and the incredible luck he had had in making it through the second selection; seeing someone lower than him must have given him a modicum of hope in his meager abilities.

What he did not know was that yes, Shidou was the 111 player to complete the first Stage, but it was only because the little demon was playing "let's annoy BabyDoll."

" You know, you shouldn't live this situation as if you were an extra."

You had been sitting on the floor, with your back against the bed, not thinking that Reo would be pleased to see you saying these things to him: he would see it as a paltry act of pity toward him, which it was not, but when we are hurt we tend to get carried away by our emotional and dramatic side.

Before entering the room, you had felt like half a stalker: prowling around the dorms to make sure Reo didn't collapse in on himself over the situation with Nagi

"That's right, Nagi left you behind because your kick was no longer working. That's not a bad thing. Neither for you, nor especially for you,"

you had turned your gaze to the ceiling, your head resting on the mattress.

"So what?" you heard the decidedly annoyed tone " Should I have wished him good luck? ' Find your kick without me?" he forgot about our promise."

You had heard him approach the edge of the bed, so much so that you could see his legs out of the corner of your eye

"Um, I know you don't want to hear this, but you both have to find your kick without the other, otherwise you won't be able to advance. Besides, I doubt that Nagi can forget anything about you. Try to improve for when you face him."

You stood up, ready to leave but at the last moment you turned toward him and found him staring at you

"You know, for what it's worth, I like you more than Isagi, but his soccer has this absurd and unfair ability to attract others to himself, so see if you can commit to it if you want to win back Nagi's interest."

He chuckled slightly "Is that all?"

"No, not really. I hate it when my expectations turn out to be wrong, so keep that in mind. Oh! While we're at it, will you have lunch with me?

The Nagi - Isagi vs. Barou - Naruhaya match had been less interesting than you had expected.

It was not as if it had not been an interesting match, but given the history you had expected more.

In a rather disconcerting way Naruhaya had surprised you, not in a good way.

The first thing Ego had explained to all the players in the buildings had been to aim to defeat whomever they deemed to be superior; it had literally been the first thing.

The fact that Naruhaya had ignored this concept could only make it obvious that he would not survive for long in the Blue Lock; it was not wrong to say that Isagi was a mediocre player, but Isagi had evolved but had an innate ability to adapt and ample room for improvement; Naruhaya had not undergone much evolution and his room for improvement was rather limited.

Of course, Naruhaya's strategy is not wrong no matter what; in some cases, in order to survive, one targets the weakest link in the situation.

The Blue Lock does not fit into any possible case.

"You can't be serious Babydoll!"

Shindou had rested his chin on your shoulder as he hugged you from behind, and was looking at you with that hangdog air you were pretty sure didn't belong to him.

"Sure enough, I am. If you want to keep being here, you can't keep beating up everyone who doesn't want to play against you "

Already by the second Stage Shindou had gotten into the bad habit of roughing up anyone who didn't want to fight against his team, and it was bordering on the ridiculous.

"If you keep sending so many players to the infirmary Ego will put you in Time-Out and no one will be able to help you."

At that moment you had felt his grip tighten a little more as he leaned more on you

"So you are worried about me" she had said it smiling and you had not denied it.

You were really worried about him but you were also worried about the project. If Shidou had eliminated players for physical incapacity before the actual disqualification according to the project rules, you predicted there would be a problem, but if omitting this thought would make the little demon a little more manageable you would not have complained.

"Promise me," you had said it in the most serious way possible.

"BabyDoll ! " he had pulled away slightly to look into your eyes, as if assessing your words

"If I hear that you beat someone again I will start to ignore you completely."

That seemed to have done the trick, as the boy had nodded his head and gone back to squeezing you

Since your conversation with Reo, you had started to spend more time with him and consequently with Chigiri and Kunigami.

The latter had even asked you if it was ethical for you to almost always watch their training and give them some indirect tips.

You had asked yourself this question, too, and finally came up with an answer

"I'm here to monitor your improvements, and if I happen to think out loud, it's just to make you aware of your condition. It's not that I provide you with analyses of your possible opponents"

It was true, your role here was to collect any kind of data you thought was important, but you were not told anything about not sharing some information with the boys as well.

Ego did it too, he was more incomprehensible than you, but maybe he could do it because he was the creator of the project? Well, if it was a problem, he should have told you clearly from the beginning that the information could not be shared with the pathetic existences, but you were never told that.

You were the one who considered that information "confidential", but that was not a given.

You liked being with them; Chigiri and Reo had already had a chance to form an opinion of you, Kunigami on the other hand was still a kind of 'blank canvas'.

You liked him. He was generally one of those personalities that were nice to be around, and you didn't really expect him to accept an invitation to such an establishment; he was an egoist who played fair.

He was endearing to you, he was a nice person, you would have been very sorry if he had lost that way about him. So for the first time in your life you were probably afraid of something.

It wasn't just fear, it was concern.

It was stupid, but this feeling had been with you since the three had told you about the meeting with Isagi's team. No matter how the match would end, you knew that the result would leave a bitter taste in your mouth.

You had grown fond of Reo, Chigiri, and Kunigami, but the opposing team had what you considered to be your favorite player in BlueLock, and two geniuses whose path you would have liked to see.

You knew there would only be one winner in the end, but it was still too early.

Moreover, there was still Shidou in the Matching Gate of the Two Teams, and you feared for those who would face him. Due to this situation, you had deliberately avoided watching the clash between the two teams, at least in real time.

You knew that you would have to analyze it sooner or later. But for once, you wanted to put it off, at least until the bad feeling in the pit of your stomach had subsided.

[moe-broey]

Okay as a treat just for me. I'm gonna post this long ass infodump about my sweetie pees I sent to the irl friend group art chat. Full context is we're doing a secret Santa esq art exchange, pick three characters, drop them in the chat (images/a little about/where they're from), and GO!

So this is me just being DEEPLY. LIKE WAY TOO MUCH MAYBE. Autistic about The Characters. And TRYING. VERY HARD. To introduce them in a digestible way. Without getting lost in the sauce (I did get lost in the sauce).

But all of this context is to say, this isn't a full analysis really, and some info might not be totallyyyy accurate or in-depth/detail BUT. BUT. It might be kinda fun to take a peek inside my brain, to see what's going on in here. What things I ended up focusing on, almost narratively...? Because Moe is here, too. I'm trying to Set The Scene, here. I AM just going off the cuff, trying to pick and choose and prioritize, but. If anything it's just really funny how I immediately tore into Alfonse. ON SIGHT 💥💥💥💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

OKAY. GO

/

Mine are Oops! All Fire Emblem (Heroes)! But like. I mean. I am deeply obsessed. With my Guys........

So, all FEH/FE Heroes:

1) Alfonse! Prince of Askr!

"Kind and serious, and eager to maintain peace". Going deeper... he's reserved, very polite (............ mostly). God I actually have no idea where to begin w him bc he is the worst concoction of contradictions and Issues ever. He's standoffish. He's painfully sincere. He's distant. He's so earnest it makes you flinch. He swears by emotional distance but is so PAINFULLY emotionally driven in almost Everything he does. "The more you have to lose, the worse it hurts when you do" ect ect. On top of this, he's simultaneously practical and pragmatic to the point of coldness. He's Calculated. Put him in the position and he WILL become judge, jury, and executioner. When you meet him (beginning of the story) he's going through his very first homoerotic best friend breakup and it's a category 11 event. He proclaims himself to be your sworn protector (eventually. Give him a little time to lick his wounds and he WILL get insane and intense about it). Attachment issues GALORE. Daddy issues also. Deeply ingrained sister complex if you have Divine Visions like I do. I cannot elaborate bc I would be here forever. Just know that he completely adores his baby sister so much I'm gonna thrup. He likes to study and takes great interest in old folklore and weaponry. Very nice proper young man with no problems I promise. Very responsible your mother would trust him w her phone number if anything went wrong or you and your friends found yourselves in trouble (he is the reason you found trouble.) Oh and he's killed multiple gods. He once threatened to kill god while wearing a bunny suit. Very normal guy.

1.2) Lif! Twink Death! Oh no!

That's Alfonse too, from an Everything Went To Hell (Literally) timeline. Cheating slightly so sorry BUT I wanted to include him for a little aesthetic variety, espppp if you wanna try your hand at a more monster-esq design. As you can guess, he's undead. He's got his bones all out like some kind of whore. He's also just so... so..... sad. Saddest most soggy man not-alive. He's running on fumes and sheer desperation, attempting to outsmart I mean Bargain w the gods to bring his loved ones and entire world back to life (category 999 like everybody every single person ever is fucking dead from that timeline. Event. Death god apocalypse style. He's currently working under said death god. Bummer!)

2) SHARENA MY FRIEND SHARENA. Princess of Askr!

"Cheerful and loves making friends -- especially with Heroes". Oh god there is so much more to her though. There is SO MUCH going on w her. She is a certified sweetie pie, she's enthusiastic and an UNWAVERING ray of sunshine, she burns so brightly it's almost blinding. She is absolutely the loadbearing extrovert in a group of people (main Order of Heroes cast, herself, Alfonse, Commander Anna -- the summoner as a mostly blank-slate player insert is a bit up in the air there but bear w me) who would tend to keep to themselves for one reason or another. She's a social butterfly!!!! She's the force that ties everyone together! But... she actually struggles to make genuine connections. She does too much, too much enthusiasm. She's not actively trying to lie or anything, but... she can come off disingenuous, anyway. Some of my favorite Sharena qualities are when you see little cracks in her endless positivity mask. She can be blunt! She has a bit of an attitude! Sometimes she accidentally hurts Alfonse's feelings (SO SAD SO SAD!!!!!). AND THAT PART. I LOVE TOO. She's soooo personable, but... not exactly Good, with people. Is it not enough to be so cheerful? To proclaim that you're someone's biggest fan? And GOD. Esp early on it was just FEH writing, but. If you're insane. Like me. The question of, "Who am I, without you?" is sooooooo. Who am I, if I'm not Alfonse's darling little sister? LIKE. They BOTH struggle w a degree of this, unable to conceptualize A Self outside of Their Roles/Who They Hold Dear. IT GOES SO CRAZY. ESP BC. Sharena and Alfonse on the surface seem to be COMPLETE opposites, but both are just as deeply lonely and susceptible to emotional enmeshment. As for hobbies I think you can safely say she likes to draw (the entire Meet the Heroes website reads like it's Sharena's artwork/words), and again! Befriending Heroes! She's a sweetie and nothing has ever gone horribly wrong. Don't worry about that. There's absolutely NOT an extremely emotionally devastating twist that completely turns everything on its head 4 Books in. Dooon't worry about it 😁👍 hehe.

3) Moe. What the hell IS THAT THANG (My Summoner OC!)

In Book 1, you meet Alfonse and Sharena after the mysterious disappearance of their dear friend. Devastating, for both of them. Moe is chronically the youngest of five and also divinely ordained Third Guy. It gets isekai'd. It has no one. Though many of these things would not come to light until much later, these are some of the dynamics at play when the three of them slot together perfectly. Also a few other things like Moe losing an important connection like Alfonse does (... failing to mention that it was Moe itself who severed the friendship, ghosting style. Which is the WORST style you could have chosen ESP in proximity to Alfonse and his friend -- who essentially did the same). And.... more. But don't you worry about that. Speaking more broadly, Moe is an autistic shut-in who's been forced to Be Here. It is The Struggler. It also has fake ass bitch tendencies. It's aromantic and demisexual (seems irrelevant, but DOES end up biting it in the ass Severely later). It has one million intimacy issues trust issues and complexes around desirability/undesirability. It's attempting to correct itself by un-correcting itself. A previous life spent "correcting" itself had LONG LASTING damaging psychological effects. A whole other guy may have spawned in there (its brain) due to this. But hey, it's just a silly little guy!!!!!!!!!!! Come ooooon it's just a silly little guy just a little birthday boy. Dropping the act immediately bc that's how easy it is to see right through it. It has So. So many Problems. But it is silly. At very least, it stays silly. And despite The Issues, Moe is Itself. For better AND worse 💪💪💪

/

TLDR. CAUSE. I INFO-DUMPED MAYBE TOO MUCH.

Alfonse: Reserved, earnest, has one million psychological problems esp around intimacy and relationships but he's like. A Normal Guy. Sooooo Normal Guy Core. But WATCH OUT!

Lif: The natural conclusion of Watch Out

Sharena: Sweetie. Has done nothing wrong in her entire life. Despite being a social butterfly, struggles a bit to actually Make connections and be herself without needing to perform.

Moe: Unauthorized Fucking Thing. Blow it up NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️

[the-marron]

Do you have recommendations on C-dramas for someone just starting out?

Hi!!! Hello to you and thank you for the question ❤️

Hmmm, I think it all depends on what sort of stories interest you the most, because there are just so many different, good and well-made shows that can just not click with you if it's not the genre you enjoy, so I will try to pick a few from different ones and maybe not too long, so that you can decide if it's your thing without watching 81 episodes 😁

When it comes to slice of life, everyday stories, I definitely recommend The Bond - it has a nice mix of drama, wholesome and uplifting moments, it also has very compelling characters. One thing to keep in mind though is that a lot of the story takes place in 1980s/1990s so the mindsets are slightly different.

A slice of life with a crime story lurking in the back, with different timelines of people trying to figure out the truth - The Long Season. It has 12 episodes, so it's not very time-consuming but so, so well done!

If you like sci-fi then Three Bodies are just beautifully done - the visuals are really top tier, as is the acting and music. The plot follows the novel of the same title, with slight changes and it's not the most amazing thing about the drama, but it doesn't get frustrating

When it comes to fantasy/martial arts (wuxia) stories, then Word of Honor - it's fun, the costumes are pretty, the music is memorable and there is a lot of flying, fighting and sitting on the roofs, so if you watched The Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and enjoyed, this might be your thing!

Comedy/Romance with rich and famous, where the characters act silly but cute and secret identities make it impossible for them to communicate? The Royal Sister returns, it's not the newest one out there, but it's very relaxing

And eh, as usual, I recommend Detective L, which takes place in 1930s Shanghai and follows Luo Fei the brilliant detective, and his friends as they solve different cases - it has great, funny moments and a few really interesting cases, plus again, the visuals are wonderful! Definitely a good suggestion if you enjoy Sherlock Holmes stories.

Historical shows tend to be longer and more complex, so for now I've left them out - hope you can find something to enjoy here! Most of these shows are available subbed on YouTube 🤭 and well, if you feel like letting me know which you chose/liked, I would be very happy!

Thanks for asking and have a good day ahead!

[queerlyvictorian]

Idk what this episode did to me, but I have even more thoughts I need to get out. Because I haven’t even considered Eursulon yet!

EP. 22 SPOILERS BELOW

I understand Eursulon perfectly. I as an audience member was always nervous about how easily our Wild One acclimated to city life in the Citadel. Obalfind (sp?) was voicing all of my own worst fears about the precarity of Eursulon’s current position of safety and relative privilege. The more we learned about the Wizard Stripe, the more I could feel that Eursulon stopped feeling like he belonged here. I’ll be thinking about that Deception escape for a long time. Starting off by blending in and attempting just look “normal,” until at a dead sprint, the butterflies land, and Brennan hints that they might be here in response to Eursulon’s sister’s deception and subsequent escape. And then “in defiance of this place” he drops his glamour. And as he runs headlong in danger, he finds that his sister prepared the way for him. An added inspiration to help him leave this place like she had to.

As far as his options go…

Follow Ame. The clearest choice. It was what he was already doing, and on a meta level, it most aligns with the plot of the arc. I wouldn’t be upset by this decision, but maybe slightly disappointed at the lost potential of the other options (one in particular)

Descend the burrow. This is the choice I’m pulling for. If Eusulon chooses to pass it by for Ame’s safety, that in of itself is a complex decision that will be have repercussions going forward, but I’m SO curious about this off-the-path option. Will it take him to the Near Spirit? Could it actually take him directly to Kalaia? I want to knowwwww, and I don’t have confidence that we will know where it leads unless Eursulon makes a selfish choice and continues down the trail his sister left for him.

Turn back to face the Stranger. The least obvious. I’ll be a little baffled if Lou as Eursulon decides this is the route to go. The Stranger’s appearance establishes fascinating lore about his possible relationship with roads (like, is he the Taboo of Passage?), but I don’t know what choosing him does meaningfully for the story being told other than derail it in a fruitful but a little too chaotic of a direction

We shall see what the answer is, but it’ll definitely be interesting, regardless of the option Eursulon choses.

[novella-writers]

Rewatching Avatar (2009/2022) has really inspired me and I’d loveee to play about with it, but do something slightly different with an ocxoc rp! I’ve been thinking about other clans and I’d love to play about with the idea of a cave Na’vi clan/population! I have some ideas on how they might look, their biology, their culture, how the caves might actually form, different animals, etc etc but I’d love to brainstorm and flesh out the world with you so we can both create it together! Plot wise, I’m thinking something along the lines of me playing one of these cave Na’vi, and you playing either a normal na’vi from another clan that somehow gets lost amongst the caves and stumbles upon my one, or perhaps you’re a human researcher - maybe just researching the environment and the caves and unaware of the na’vi underground, or specifically are looking for them too. Those are just a couple of ideas but we can chat together to figure something out and I’d love to hear your thoughts!

About me: I’m 21+, looking for anyone 19+ to write with. I’m a very detailed writer and my replies are usually around the realm of 1000 words (not characters!) and can go up to 2000 easily as well. I would like my partner to be able to match this. Not every reply has to be super long of course, it depends what’s going on and quality > quantity, but with all the world building I’d love to do and fleshing out nuanced characters, I don’t want to write paragraphs setting everything up for us to be given 1 that doesn’t move the plot forward:’). I can offer a writing sample and might ask for one to make sure we’re compatible because I will lose interest in short, semi-lit style writing, sorry. I love depth and complexity, fleshed out characters with flaws, situations that demand action that’s not 100% morally good. I love conflict and tension, hurt/comfort, angst and recovery, and I love seeing characters grow over the rp! I’m open to all types of pairings and trans characters, and also open to different takes on gender identity/expression considering the na’vi aren’t human! I’m open to dark topics, violence, and nsfw, but I’m open to fading to black and don’t rush/prioritise smut, nor do I like really strict roles like sub/dom and top/bottom. I reply usually a few times a week but can’t manage daily most of the time, and I won’t rush you either! I like to chat ooc and send art/aesthetics/tiktoks and bond with my partner, but I won’t push if you’re not comfortable with it.

I’d love a partner who’s down to world build and plot with me! Bring your own ideas and concepts and we can make a world and story together! I want to do it together, with you! So please don’t just say “sounds good, up to you” to everything I say lol:’) This is way too long now so I’ll round it out, but leave a like and I’ll reach out to you! 💙🌙

Like if interested!

[secondchoice-ragdoll]

Am I the only one who is a little sad that the moment Trixie was single she didn't take a second look at Katya and immediately went to the ex? She could've given her a chance. And I wonder how K really feels now that she wants kids. I know she doesn't want them herself, but I'm afraid this will change things between them and I really really hope they don't.

ugh okay first of all: im totally w u and i a 100% see ur point. these have crossed my mind too, and i can easily get to a place where these topics make me sad for a while. but genuinely i dont think we should worry too much abt any of it. at the end all i want is for them to be happy, no matter how that looks like🤝

on a further note, we cant be like *actually* sure abt any of what is going on? like yes it seems pretty clear, and it might as well be exactly as we think it is, its all spelled out, isnt it? its really just that we were the ones who spelled it out, and not T, or any other person who is practicipating in the situation. all im saying is that i wouldnt advise anyone to bet on whats going on w T rn (if for nothing else then just out of respect), and im sure eventually we will hear either a confirmation or a fully different story that will clear things up.

specualtion is free tho, and also pretty interesting, so as long as we keep it kinda hush-hush i think its okay that we entertain ourselves w these anecdotes. like im totally in, and i do think *the* ex is now truly an ex, like that much id even dare to place a bet on. the rest is just questionmarks😭😭😭 like i could see this new guy being actually something, or just a rebound-fling, or just a friend(?). and its also possible that he is the old ex, and then i do have even more questions, but the bar is under a frog's ass after the last guy, so im appriciative towards anyone who is slightly better than him, and it would appear to be a true challenge to be worse than him💀 sooo idk i do believe yall that that guy on the pics is really old KY guy, im just not sure if they r friends or fwb or dating or a secret fourth option? doesnt matter as long as T is okay and having fun. (also, i do think she could have spent some time being single IF she is in a relationship again, but hey, anything is better than how we were around a year ago, no? and as long as a guy doesnt treat her like shit im happy for her!!!) ((and yes. i am really sad miss K got looked over again if thats the case. even if i dont think we will ever get to live in a world they r actually legit dating. in another universe for sure. but in this one? too many hangups. these creatures cant even fucking talk abt the fact that they'd like to hang out more tgthr. like..... be fr😭 they r stooooopid, and thats okay. its sad, its tragic, but its okay, and they have a really special relationship regardless of whether they ever go that far or dont. there is always hope, and even if they fall out now, maybe they need it to break and actually confront the fact that they want to hang out? like there r so many ways for things to go. soooo many. i could sit here and spin this wheel on for hours with no end, i promise. i do think it could have happened in like 2020-2023? maybe even beginning of 24. but as things stand now... eeeh i think it wouldnt be such a clean cut, but they do tend to do things the more complicated way, at least thats how it seems to me. the thing is that they r such complex ppl and they have so many motives that i could make literal lists about what their excuses might be (such as work, but now that T says it doesnt matter that much maybe it changes, or such as age, or what-ifs, or fear of ruining what they have, or thinking that maybe they have missed their chance, new/old confidence issues, mental health states? ...these two...). on the other hand, do we really think K got looked over? Ts literal god? im not so sure, but only time will be able to tell wtf has been going on.))

i see ur concern, and yeah change is fucking scary, especially if such comforting things change. but u see, this could be exactly one of their hangups too. things keep changing no matter what, all we can do is hope they both r okay and happy and nice parts of each other's lives.

i understand that T keeps speaking abt wantimg kids, and sure, pop off! but like, i reaaaally doubt she would be actually having kids this year? like i feel like its maybe a new thing for her to think of having kids as an actual possibility she considers for her future, thus she speaks abt it openly since its one of the things she is interested in now! but like, having a kid is not this quick of a process, even a pregnancy takes 9 months😭😭 and also im pretty sure that her life isnt at a place where she could pick up a kid tomorrow and just go on and be her best self as a parent and i feel like she must be aware of that? T and K would both be at least okay parents, thats for sure!! but like, considering Ts past year... yeah i dont think it will be such a quick happening. once, in a few years, sure! even in 2, why not! but not tomorrow. she'd do fine as a single parent, she'd do fine w a partner, it will be fine, just really not as soon as some ppl r concerned it might be😭 let her just get that birdie first, i think that could be a logical and nice next step!

finally, i really dont think K would have such a problem w children? (even if she did, dont u think shed make an exception for T? im pretty sure she'd do almost anything for/with T.) like she absolutely adores her nephew as far as i know, so im certain she wouldnt delete T's contact info if/when she had a kid. im pretty sure T wouldnt block Ks number either just bc she became a parent, she also seems to know how nice K is to kids despite not necessarily getting them (see: her gifting a lot of money to her nephew's, like, 4th bday? but i could argue that thats a great gift, just more long term great😭). and what if T gets that kid and eventually calls K for help (more likely for herself and not the kid, but this is besides the point), and then K does help, and then they spend even more time together with this newfound excuse, and they realise how well they function as a family, and then they can finally move in together and be lesbians and be disgustingly in love and live happily ever after??? what then???? anyways, my point is that even if they r in a tiny bit of a divitation i highly doubt it would be due to T wanting a kid. i think its more that they both were afraid during T's break that if they reached out more they would annoy the other one, bc "omg what if she needed a break from me too???" (like. T needed a break from her god. and K needed a break from the person who tethers her to this earth. sure jan. emotionally they do have some challenges, thats certain!). and maybe they need to drift a bit apart to then get back together and be even closer (if that is scientifically even possible). things arent as linear and easy as we would like them to be, and since our perspective is and outside one, im pretty sure that from their pov it seems or at least feels sooooo much more complicated. while i just sit on the floor and go "just date ffs its not that hard!!4!4 look back footage of ur faces while u look at eachother!!! thats all u need!!44!", and we r both right! it is very complicated but it could also be manageable. (what i think might be more painful here is if T has the kid w a partner, bc that seems pretty, uh, *certain*, or unchangable, final? obvi its not ***that*** drastic, but it is a bigger deal. so yeah, but i stand by my op that none of this will happen in the blink of an eye, we'll see as it unfolds ig and hope for smth real nice)

[oc3anawrites]

introducing my OC- Amaya Young.

you may see quite a few different OC's in my fics but in this post I'd like to introduce Amaya. (the AI image is just a reference to how she looks it's definitely not exact. My description will probably give you a better idea. Also I know she's such a basic white girl but I will have more OC's with more diverse backgrounds and physical appearance so keep an eye out for those!

Amaya's age changes based on when the story takes place but she is only a few years younger than Marc Spector.

Her physical appearance- Amaya usually sports long white hair with dyed black tips. Her eyes are a mix of a hazy blue and grey. She has a slightly warm skin tone that is a stark difference from her icy hair. Amaya has a small scar in the middle of her forehead, right above the bridge of her nose. Its about half an inch long. Amaya's features are soft but sharp at the same time. Her jaw and cheeks are defined, her eyes slightly sunk in. Her eyebrows are almost as dark as the ends of her hair and often express a lot of emotion. Amaya usually wears black clothing that is fitted to her slim figure.

Her backstory- I can't reveal much about her backstory as to not spoil the plot of the fic I'm writing but here's what I can say- Amaya is secretive, cold and blunt at times. She is impulsive and tends not to consider the consequences. Her temper can be short and she can have sudden bursts of explosive anger. She has BPD (written by someone who also does). She has a horrid fear of abandonment and when she falls in love, she goes to dangerous lengths, risking everything else to keep her favorite person safe. Her childhood was definitely not a happy one and let's just say it led to some *cough* unhealthy coping skills and the older she gets, the more she loses control over her untreated mental health issues.

She definitely won't just be a broken girl who "needs to be fixed". Her character will show her unique struggles and the way it effects her and those around her. Amaya is frustrating at times, especially with her black and white thinking. She tends not to think in the greys, assuming and judging other people and their character before giving them a chance to get to know her. She has a very hard time opening up but when she does it's like the flood gates to the worlds largest dam have just poured out in front of her. She's a little too forgiving and even though she may be untrusting, she has a soft spot for men with curly brown hair. *hint hint*. She has a hard time committing to anything, especially when it comes to love.

She is very smart and has a unique interest in Egyptology, although not nearly as smart or as into it as Steven. She just picked it up from her father. #daddyissues She is American, born in New York. (honestly I didn't know where to make her born so I decided NYC since all the avengers shit always happens there lmao) Her accent is american similar to Marcs. (except female obviously). She has traveled around the world however and even picked up a few languages and some intriguing knowledge on the way.

There will definitely be different stories that contain her as an OC but in a different way in each.

I hope you'll enjoy this complex character and maybe even some of you can relate and find understanding in her struggles throughout her character development.

[technicolorfamiliar]

Technicolor Familiar Watches Too Many Conrad Veidt Movies Part 3 of ?

Part 1 // Part 2

Anders als die Andern (Different From the Others), 1919 Dir. Richard Oswald ⭐4/5 Watched Nov 15, Archive.org It really breaks my heart that so much of this film was lost and destroyed, and that the story is unfortunately still relevant 100+ years later. Maybe I don't have as much to say about this one because it's so chopped up, and because it's already been written and talked about so much. I am glad it seems to have found its proper place in literature/content about LGBTQ+ history, getting the acknowledgement it deserves. Despite already knowing so much about the movie from various books, podcasts, and documentaries, I was still very affected by the story and performances, especially towards the end. It really hit a nerve, surprisingly so. Connie's Paul is really lovely, tragic, and so sweet with Kurt.

Jew Süss, 1934 Dir. Lothar Mendes ⭐3.5/4 Watched Nov 26, Youtube There's something about the structure and the hazy, dreamy quality of the film itself that makes this seem like a fable. There are parts that are deeply upsetting and chilling despite the mediocre supporting cast. It's imperfect, but definitely did a lot more than other films to create complex and sympathetic Jewish characters in the 1930s (even if still playing on stereotypes). I'm a total sucker for 18th century opulence and fashion so I can’t complain much. And oh boy, does the 18th century suit Connie. He knows how to work the lace and silk to great affect. Some of the things he's doing as Josef are really fascinating and gut-wrenching. He's doing so much vocally, too. He's in an entirely other class compared to many actors of that era. P.S. The scenes with Josef and his mother and daughter were, uh, interesting. I have… mixed feelings.

Rome Express, 1932 Dir. Walter Forde ⭐3/5 Watched Nov 26, Youtube My expectations were pretty low for this one based on some things I'd read online, but it's a cute if slightly baffling train thriller with an ok-ish ensemble. I'm a little biased, my inner child fuckin loves trains so any train movie is at least going to be semi-enjoyable. I was so stressed the whole time about how everyone was handling that apparently very expensive painting. Connie is so extra, though. Why is Zurta eating a banana as soon as he jumps onto a moving train? Why does he hold a gun like ~that~? Why are his fingernails so long?? It's so funny seeing him next to all these tiny British actors. It may partly be how they dressed him for the role, but he makes everyone else look positively shrimpy.

All Through the Night, 1942 Dir. Vincent Sherman ⭐3/5 Watched Nov 27, Vudu Once I finally leaned into how silly this movie was, it was pretty entertaining. The dialogue alone is so stupid, but self aware of how stupid it is. And it features one of my favorite gags of all time: making up gibberish words for technical terms with complete confidence. There's a dog. (Question: Is the dog a nazi like the monkey in Raiders of the Lost Ark? Does the dog know it's complicit in war crimes??) Peter Lorre looks like he'd rather be anywhere else. Mrs. Danvers is there. Some of the visual comedy is actually pretty great -- the dog in the boat at the end when Connie is being totally deadpan serious? Hysterical. (DID THEY BLOW UP THAT DOG?) I think this was the first time I've heard Connie speak German, too.

The Spy in Black, 1939 Dir. Michael Powell ⭐3.5/5 Watched Nov 27, Youtube Interesting that the main character, the person carrying this British movie in the late 1930s, is a German U-boat captain. But wow. I'm obsessed. Hardt's entrance into the hotel? Baa-ing at the sheep? The delicious gluttony with food? Dragging the stupid motorbike up the stairs to his room? "It is evening. And I am grown up."?? We love a sexy, honor driven character like Captain Hardt. Therefore, Valerie Hobson going for the British officer seems totally unlikely and unbelievable. I think I like this movie marginally better than Dark Journey, as far as espionage films go. It's slightly more engaging (but that may be Connie and Valerie Hobson's chemistry) and the story is a little better.