#the story is written in such a way that Castiel had to realize he was willing to sacrifice anything for Dean

[cas-poisoning]

Basically chemistry between the actors or the writing.

Chicken and egg. I don’t know if you can separate them. I feel like technically you can claim the chemistry came first, as Cas was originally only supposed to be in like three episodes, and the strong chemistry between Jensen and Misha definitely played a role in the decision to keep him, as Cas was very well received by audiences.

That being said, regardless of their chemistry, I feel like the writing itself set the foundation. Like oh yes, look at how they look at each other!! Sure. But when you think about season 4’s narrative structure for Castiel especially, it was always romantically coded imo. Jensen and Misha could have had as much chemistry as two brick walls, and there would still be something very powerful behind the idea of Castiel falling from heaven for Dean. Even though Dean was obviously not his only motivation (sometimes I feel like people reduce Castiel’s whole character arc to just Dean…) Dean was the catalyst and it was Dean that triggered all these feelings and desires in him. Even if it’s not explicitly romantic, it’s still incredibly coded that way. Like a classic betray/rebel against/run away from your family for love type of story.

Now that I think about it, I feel like the chemistry came first in terms of destiel on Dean’s behalf, but the writing came first in terms of Destiel on Castiel’s behalf. Castiel’s story was always romantic. It’s fundamental to the narrative. The idea of breaking free from everything you’ve ever known because one person has caused you to feel SO MUCH it has changed your whole life. I don’t think Dean’s narrative is as fundamentally romantic, but Jensen’s acting is what added a lot of subtext in those early seasons. The way he looks at Cas, delivers lines, etc. until eventually the writing itself became much more intereptably romantic

This poll is for Destiel shippers and sympathizers. No hate towards Destiel or Cockles.

*By "Cockles" I don't necessarily mean the ship. The question is more "Which came first: the chemistry between the characters or the chemistry between the actors?"

[vendettasfanfictioning]

Sam-coded: Analyzing the parallels between Destiel and Sam's arcs with his love interests.

PART 1: JESSICA MOORE

FOREWORD & DISCLAIMER

With a fan community as enormous as Supernatural's, it is fair to assume that most, if not everything, stated here has already been pointed out or dissected multiple times before—especially considering the long span of time that the show has aired and the three years thereafter. The goal of this post is not to claim these ideas as my own but rather to compile and expand on them.

I also want to add that regarding Jessica, specifically, the canon facts about her are incredibly limited what with her only "real" appearance being at the Pilot episode (though she is referenced and alluded to in multiple episodes all throughout).

That said, she had a critical role in shaping Sam's goals, with emphasis on earlier seasons' Sam's development so it felt fitting to start this series off with her.

There are many instances that the fandom has pointed out cinematic parallels between Sam and Jessica & Dean and Castiel. In this post, I would be elaborating on all of the key points I have found, namely: 1. The scripted meeting, 2. Grieving a lover, and other random findings.

1. IN THE BEGINNING (WITH REGARDS TO GOD'S PLAN)

To start, both Sam/Jess and Dean/Cas were fated to meet to serve a higher narrative purpose.

Frankly, I think that is fucking beautiful, but not only that; it can be argued that, if we were to speculate that Sam met Jessica right after he ran away from Dean and John, then Jessica and Castiel did the same thing. They pulled their respective Winchester brother out of hell/a dark place. (That may just be me talking out of my ass, but it's such a poetic concept, isn't it?)

Most importantly though, both parties were doomed by the narrative, but in polar opposite ways.

(Screenshots taken from 5x20)

Sam was destined to love and then lose Jessica for two reasons: to start the story, and to make Sam go down the "dark" path i.e. adjacent to Lucifer, demon blood, evil. Their story was scripted from the get-go, even before Supernatural decided to go metatextual with God.

(Screenshots taken from 15x17)

On the other hand, Dean and Castiel were never meant to be anything more. God himself says that Castiel was supposed to continue obeying heaven, do what he was told, and it is one of (if not the one) that completely separated the Supernatural storyline from any of Chuck's other drafts.

(GIFs from 15x18 and 15x19)

Furthermore, Castiel's love for Dean and Dean's loss of him marks the end of the story and makes Dean defy the role that God made for him. Admittedly, it's a flawed parallel, as Dean has already moved on from being Michael's Sword and the Righteous Man. To that, I say it only further proves the point; their unscripted "profound bond" directly opposed God's word. It was what should have broken the cycle.

And still, both ended in tragedy. It's just that one was written to end that way and the other wrote itself.

2. THE WINCHESTER BROTHERS ON GRIEF

(GIFs are from 1x01 and 12x23)

This segment can't start any other way than with these iconic shots of the Winchesters holding their brother back from running towards the love of their life (as the lover, in question, dies/walks to their death). These shots are the very reason I started this whole analysis, and they speak for themselves.

Even their clothes are inverted here, because Sam and Dean are experiencing the exact same thing. The grief, pain, and helplessness that comes with losing a partner.

(While compiling these, I stumbled upon the eerie realization that the shots attached above and the ones below have swapped color palettes in a way? Granted, that may just be some editing thing. Technology and video quality aside though, you can't deny that the vibrance of the fire vs. the bleakness of Apocalypse World juxtapose aesthetically well with the shots below. Just another one of those, "is it intentional or did Supernatural just run out of options from the sheer breadth of it?")

(Screenshots taken from 1x05 and 8x07)

This parallel in particular is what makes me believe that Supernatural either has amazing writing or just a terrible retention for continuity and reflection. Because, again, Sam and Dean are going through the same damn thing here: guilt. Specifically, the guilt of their lover's death—how both had reasons to believe they could've prevented it.

Also, these are cinematically shot the same way: Jessica and Castiel by the road, a deadpan stare at the Impala as the brothers drive by, then disappearing from sight at a second glance. How else are we to take this other than Dean grieving a lover the same way Sam grieved for his girlfriend? Did they just forget this scene from 1x05 when they filmed 8x07? (Most likely, yeah, but that doesn't disprove its contribution to the narrative.)

The premise is also similar, damningly so, the only notable difference being the formatting, with season 1's monster-of-the-week almost-standalones and season 8's continuous, over-arcing conflict with hell and the tablets.

(Screenshots taken from 1x05 and 8x07)

At the very core, though, is Sam and Dean with their, "I could have—" statements. Sam had visions about Jessica dying, he could have warned her. Dean had Castiel right there at the portal to exit Purgatory, he could have pulled him out. It is that guilt they must carry around and that burden they must bear.

(Screenshots taken from 1x05 and 8x07)

They even give one another the same damn pep talk. Dean saw that Jessica's death was slowly killing Sam, the same way Sam saw that Dean's return from Purgatory without Castiel was tearing Dean apart.

(Screenshots taken from 1x05 and 8x07)

Lastly, here are the verbal acknowledgements of their grief. Because hey, who am I to try to explain subtext and nonverbatim connections.

2.1. TO BE JOHN WINCHESTER'S SON

In this segment, I would like to point out two of the instances that Sam and Dean accepted being compared to John Winchester, both in regards to losing Jessica and Castiel respectively.

(Screenshots taken from 1x20)

Again, this is what the story was all about. Sam and John could or at least find solidarity in this, as was intended for the plot. (They even mirror God and Lucifer here, which is an entirely different can of worms I am not opening today.)

Keep in mind, Sam's always hated how John raised them, but it is evident that he found some comfort with John given their undeniably specific situations.

(Screenshots taken from 13x04 I talked a little more about this arc here)

Sam openly calls Dean out on his John-esque behavior; an irony in itself given that the brothers have long since established that Sam was the one who resembled John the most whereas Dean was always, "yes, sir!" until the very end.

In this very same arc, there is a concerning increase Dean's alcohol consumption—and the use of alcohol as a coping mechanism in itself, rather than the leisurely treat it recurringly was in the show—which are telling signs for the headspace Dean was in.

They both lashed out in John Winchester ways they've internalized over the years growing up. Sam went down the path of self-destructive revenge-seeking, while Dean lashed out by rejecting being a father role to Jack, becoming the "drill sergeant," instead. These traits were what hurt them as children and were the crux of John's grief over Mary's murder. Round and round the cycle goes.

2.2. TO BE LUCIFER'S VICTIM

(GIFs from 5x03 (a) and (b))

Again, another iconic parallel considering Lucifer's go-to trick to getting what he wants was to pose as the person his victims want the most. Another example of this exact same scenario is when Lucifer appears to rock star Vince Vicente as his dead girlfriend (and Vince ended up saying yes.)

In the earlier seasons, the most obvious choice for Sam was of course Jessica, as Lucifer was desperate to get ahold of Sam as a vessel. That was narratively sound, right? Even though 5 seasons (so about 5 years in canon) have passed since Jessica died, Sam hadn't forgotten her and she remained his greatest weakness.

(GIFs from 15x19)

Then on the flip side, during a time the story's well past the Script and God's most definitely free-styling, Lucifer appears again—and it is on God's orders. The devil chose Dean's weakness (Castiel) to blindside him, so Dean ends up running on emotions instead of questioning it.

This happened right after the episode Castiel confessed, and before the episode that Should Not Be Named... That also speaks for itself, doesn't it? Insane, absolute insanity to me.

3. MISCELLANEOUS: SYMBOLISMS & OTHER COINCIDENCES

(Screenshots taken from 1x01 and 14x12)

This is where I might be reaching, but it's a small observation I noticed while bingeing the Pilot episode. Of course, at the time, production likely didn't even put much thought into Jessica's costume, but it's a funny thing to point out all the same. (I screamed a little about Cas' healer motifs here in comparison to Cesar/Jesse if you're interested.)

(Screenshots taken from 1x01 and 10x09)

They both have the same Look when their boyfriend is talking down on himself, I can't even make this shit up.

+ I'm so frickin' tired I cannot look for screenshots anymore but Jessica's cookies plus Castiel's "you don't understand, I need pie," moment in the convenience store resonate with me.

+ Might edit and add more to this later, for now I sleepge.

REFERENCES

1x01: Pilot 1x05: Bloody Mary 1x20: Dead Man's Blood 5x03: Free to be You and Me 5x20: The Devil You Know 8x07: A Little Slice of Kevin 10x09: The Things We Left Behind 12x23: All Along the Watchtower 13x04: The Big Empty 14x12: Prophet and Loss 15x17: Unity 15x18: Despair 15x19: Inherit the Earth

UP NEXT: SARAH BLAKE

[dmitryswifey]

RECAP FOR THE SEPTEMBER 2024 UPDATE

❗ SOURCE: NVTA\_RC (LINK IS IN THE COMMENTS) ❗

❗Translated from Russian to English using Google and Yandex. Please comment if you notice any mistakes or mistranslations.❗

♡ SONG OF THE CRIMSON NILE ♡

Evthys tries to get in touch with Isman’s Ka, but something goes wrong and she again sees only fragments of her brother's memories, as well as Anubis, who keeps his soul. Having failed to achieve the result, Eva falls into the hands of the epistates who caught up with her. Amen and Agnia decide to make a bait out of her and Livy, because Remmao is somewhere nearby. The mentor does appear, but he is not going to give up to the hunters and allow himself to be tortured. Having set fire to the ibu where Isman's body rests, Remmao cuts his own throat. Set, who suddenly appears, first engages in battle with Amen, but then convinces him that they have a common goal. After a crazy night, Ramesses appears in the tent and is going to tell about his brother and the reasons for his actions…

♡ CHASING YOU 2 ♡

Miss Harrington distracts Ellia from thinking about why she was put to sleep and placed in a stone coffin by telling her that the circus he used to work for has arrived in London. The friends all go to a performance where the heroine walks a tightrope under the hypnosis of two acrobats, Edward and Christopher Cadogan. In the evening, Alexander invites the young investigator to go down to dinner, where, to her surprise, he introduces her to the Queen of England, Victoria, who is also his grandmother. The Queen reports that her sapphire tiara has been stolen and that the guards swear that the thief is the "Glowing Killer" Severin Bastendorff, who has risen from the dead, and who has been written about in the newspapers lately. The heroine takes on the case, promising the Queen complete secrecy. Wanting to examine the crime scene, she, Rachel and Sam travel to the palace, and along the way Sam shares his story of how he was stripped of his rank and exiled from his home country…

♡ W: TIME CATCHER ♡

The cards are revealed, the spy is exposed. The Incineration Alliance decides not to banish the Time Catcher, but to test her loyalty. The witch must steal the Conduit from the Vatican - an artifact necessary for initiation. The heroine turns to Renato for help, who gives her the necessary information. At night, in the company of Shen and Onyx, the witch makes her way to the heart of the entire Church. However, in the place indicated by Renato, the Time Catcher finds a fake Conduit and Praevius, who calls himself Idris. Having assured her that he wants to help, he begins to deceive the witch into draining her life force…

♡ KALI: FLAME OF SAMSARA ♡

Christian tells Devi about his investigation and search for the traitor and finally gives the name - Mohan Prasad. Doran also comes to the same conclusions. The executioner continues to collect information. And de Clare intends to marry Deviya before returning to Calcutta. An old friend of Lord de Clare - Bernard Swinford arrives at the estate with his sister Clara and right-hand man Oscar Fitzwarren. At dinner, the English begin to egg on and provoke the Indian guests. The already tense situation is aggravated by Christian's announcement of an imminent wedding…

♡ GARDEN OF EDEN ♡

Dong-hyun suspects that Mr. Won is hiding something, and helps Ji-yoon secretly break into his office. However, there the heroine witnesses a conversation between Castiel and his father, and realizes that they both visited the Garden of Eden club. The heroine remains unnoticed and only after, in a conversation with her mentor, learns that Castiel's father stopped financing the RK3 group. And it also turns out that Mi-yeon had some kind of secret sponsor – and, most likely, Seo-yoon too. In search of clues, Minhyuk and the heroine make their way to Mi-yeon's house. There they find a secret phone, with which the singer left a voice message to Minhyuk before her death with information that she had found Seo-yoon's killer, but they were following her, and that Seo-yoon's sister would help him understand everything. After returning home, they call the suspected killer's number from Miyeon's phone and hear a melody on the phone…

♡ SOULLESS ♡

Isolde, a siren and Walter/Cynthia's mother, helps the succubus deal with the attacking demon. To continue the work, the demoness goes to her Brother Kang and asks him to unblock her Soulspark account. Kang, interested in the MC's daring behavior, arranges a new meeting with her. The succubus is worried that she has become close to Ava, but is forced to report her to Elliot, and she refuses to do so, promising in exchange to now leak information directly about Kang. Returning home, the demoness receives Ava as a guest and, in a fit of frankness, tells her about her deal with the detective. Ava, disappointed and angry, leaves, leaving the heroine with a deep sense of guilt. Adding to the emotions is Vincent, who examined the torn out heart of an unknown demon and now declares that they need to fly to the old Starling estate together with Threxia/o, and the demoness suddenly feels sick from the accumulated experiences, which becomes a big surprise for both herself and Vincent. While getting ready for the trip, the doorbell rings, and an unexpected guest appears on the threshold…

♡ ASTREA’S BROKEN HEART ♡

The heroine finally decides to admit to not having a license - and it turns out that Astrea has known about it for a long time. Together with Felonia, the MC goes to talk to the father of one of the victims, the owner of an unconventional restaurant, and later, in the company of Cassiel and Raphael, she goes to save the supposed future victim - boxer Harry. The latter is brought to the agency by the company, but he quickly leaves, simultaneously planting seeds of doubt about his colleagues in the soul of the appraiser. The next day, the MC goes to the village to see her friend Ruth, and it turns out that she is a fan of the cult, who specially lured the heroine into the wilderness to sacrifice her to the Beast. Here, the girl again meets Phillip Moore, who escaped from prison and plays one of the leading roles in the ritual. The sectarians almost manage to kill their victim, but then Raphael appears, blinds the villagers and takes the heroine to Astrea. The heroes heal the MC's wounds and erase her memory in order to preserve her psyche. The next day, the heroine wakes up with a feeling of emptiness, filled with strange dreams, and a desire to escape from the agency. She returns to her apartment and spends several days there, and then meets Cassiel and decides to drop in at Astrea - as it turns out, at the wrong time, because the bosses have finally arrived at the mansion…

♡ HEAVEN’S SECRET: REQUIEM ♡

In the ruins found in the tracks of the spawn, the squad members see the torn body of a nun and understand that it was bait to pump blood out of the spawn. In pursuit of another spawn, the heroine falls through the ice, Dmitry jumps after her, and the underwater current carries them to the lower floors of the destroyed Siberia base. The MC and Dmitry are temporarily separated, the heroine hides in a room from an incomprehensible pursuer, who suddenly begins to speak to her through the door in Dmitry's voice. The MC is ready to open the door, but suddenly the general appears right next to her, silently making it clear that there is something else behind the door. Then the involuntary partners find themselves in a strange laboratory. Soon Cain and Anna break through there. Having looked around, they find a couch for research, on which, in addition to straps for hands and feet, there are also straps for wings. A halo flares up in the sky above Rotkov, and the squad, having returned to the estate, understands that the last sacrifice has begun somewhere. Having found a secret passage under the temple, the heroes discover a secret sanctuary, where, among a crowd of infected, Boris is going to become the last - the main - victim and release the original evil into the world, however, he himself begins to turn into an infected. The heroine kills Boris and the squad escapes from the temple. At the last moment, Anna discovers that Dmitry has been bitten. Meanwhile, an avalanche approaches Rotkov and buries half the city under snow. The squad decides to go to the Adam base. The bitten general is in serious condition and unconscious. Bypassing settlements and hiding from the spawn, the heroes make another stop at a railway warehouse. Part of the squad, checking the territory, stumbles upon a car that has driven off the road and a wounded man in it. And the rest, getting inside the warehouse, discover crucified bodies. A new acquaintance assures that these are the victims of cultists. Suddenly, Dmitry appears in the room without a single sign of infection…

♡ 7 BROTHERS ♡

Tristan steals a car to help the heroine and her brother Carter escape from the dealer. Carter is temporarily allowed to stay at the Rosewood club, and soon he receives an invitation to stay on James' private island. At the same time, Ray receives an eviction notice from the apartment. Helping to move Ray's things to her grandmother, the MC reads the notice and recognizes the label - it was James' family company that evicted Ray. At the meeting, FBI agents demand that Carter be returned, and the young student has no choice but to sail to the island and return her brother. Later, Chloe asks the heroine to be with her at a party thrown in her dorm. There, she admits that she has known the guys from Rosewood since childhood, but they must not find out that Chloe is also in Kearney, because she is in the witness protection program and is going to testify against her father …

♡ AND THE HAZE WILL TAKE US ♡

The last sacred oak tree, standing on the edge of the village, began to wither and shed its leaves, which means that changes are coming. After all, the tree is the only defense against the horrors that live in the fog. The heroine, together with Tata and Milon, try to find out what happened to Vereya in her last hours of life, because her spirit keeps appearing to her sister. The high priestess, seeing this, offers the heroine to become a priestess and a student of her grandson, the magus Ozar. The MC agrees. The priests go to the stone idols to make a sacrifice to the gods and plant the seeds of the sacred oak. But during the ceremony, the heroine is stupefied by a goblin who has crept close to the village. And at night, falling into a deep sleep after a hard day, she sees her twin Vereya in her bedroom again…

♡ THE THUNDERSTORMS SAGA ♡

The long war between the Kingdom of Esshai and the Ro'od Empire may finally come to an end. The condition of the truce is the marriage between the princess of Esshai, Fanuel, and the crown prince of Ro'od, Tai. The king of Esshai sends two ladies-in-waiting with his daughter, one of whom is our heroine, a young court sorceress. Representatives of the two peoples meet on the border of their lands, on a mountain pass: here, Princess Fanuel must undergo the rite of entry into the Ro'od clan. The night after the rite, the MC accidentally witnesses Fanuel's conversation with an unknown person about her desire to violate her father's order and not marry Tai. The next morning, the princess is found at the bottom of a gorge with a broken neck. Chaos begins in the camp. The conclusion of peace is under threat, as is the life of the young sorceress: she is threatened with death at the hands of a dragon rider…

STORIES THAT ARE NOT IN THE SEPTEMBER 2024 UPDATE:

DRACULA: A LOVE STORY

LOVE FROM OUTER SPACE

HELL AND HIGH WATER

LOVE, SIN & EVIL (VOLUME 1)

I found this on Reddit!

Credits to: u/euphorheya for the translation

and nvta for the original post^^

Here is the link

[virtu4l-archieve]

dean winchester beat sheet || saltyfeathers

rating: explicit

chapters: 12

tags: college au, big gay crisis, a lot of sex, smut, gay dean, internalized homophobia, comphet, alcohol used as a coping mechanism.

summary: in his final year of college, dean’s got a lot of decisions to make. most importantly, which girl he’s going to do... right now. and later tonight. And the next night. when new transfer student castiel novak snakes his way into dean’s friend group, sean can’t help but see it as an infiltration. somethings is up with castirl, and he’s going to find out what. more accurately, he’s going to enlist his best and longest suffering hacker friend, charlie bradbury, to do it for him. not a single one of dean’s suspicions has anything to do with the fact that upon their first meeting, castiel insults his shoes, his general existence, and his masculinity by— looking at him like that.

“fine. i’ll do it. i’ll be your experimental college phase.”

for the whole thing being nothing but a subplot- I LOVED DWBS (wait but quick question- why is it called dean winchester beat sheet? did i miss when the beat sheet bit was mentioned?) i really did enjoy it. there is so much good that i can’t talk about without spoiling. look if you want spoilers-

i enjoyed comphet!dean which is crazy lmaooo but i enjoyed seeing this aspect of a fic. i’m realizing it’s a regular occuring trope. i like how everyone knew yet just remained quiet. seeing through dean’s fun house illusions. i felt for dean. not to flex but i was comfortable with my sexuality at a very young age so stories like this always seem to make my heart ache a little more. he was so scared when there was no reason to be. i loved cas. he had so much patience for dean despite being annoyed with him every once and a while. although always well earned and needed as it helped dean work through his sexuality more. also for you horny ppl, for a friends-with-benefits fic was a lot of sex and it was all really well written. thank you, salty feathers. (i will be checking out more fics)

also the college aspect, i graduated almost a year ago and tbh i miss college. i graduate a year earlier than i expected (damn another flex sorry guys) so i just love reading college aus right now.

also the way every bitch and there mama was in this fic was crazyyy. like . . . jo, charlie, aaron, pamela, benny, victor, cain, crowley. (i feel like we dont see enough crowley in au i need more crowley) okay maybe not every character but there was bitches i didn’t know expect but i definitely loved seeing!

also loved the thanksgiving chapter- might be my favorite- when we go visit bobby and ellen. it’s so sweet seeing cas in that environment. it reminded me of abandon all hope- the good half when they drink with cas and take a family photo.

[the-stars-in-between]

Conclusion after my first Whumptober participation: 11 stories. Not too bad, more than I expected, but the moment I realized I was allowed to sleep instead of continuing to write it was over for me. Overall it was a fun experience — for me, not for the characters — and the prompts gave me ideas I never would have thought of without it, so thank you @whumptober.

However! I will finish this challenge whether it is finishing the stories I already started or those that are not yet written. I am not giving up. My goal is to finish by the end of January considering that I have a big break for Christmas but nothing is guaranteed.

I leave you now the links of the stories that are already posted and I will update each time I post a new story.

DAY 1 & DAY 19: Every Day You Fight Like You're Running Out Of Time (Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester)

Sam gets lost in the forest. This action has consequences.

No. 1: RACE AGAINST THE CLOCK Search Party | Panic Attack | "If only we could hold on.” (Icysami x Renegaderr, Strangers.)

No. 19: BLOOD TRAIL Abandoned Cabin | One Way Out | "Is there anybody alive out there?" (Bruce Springsteen, Radio Nowhere)

Luffy relives the worst day of his life, over and over again.

DAY 2: Again. (Monkey D. Luffy)

No. 2: ALTERNATIVE  Time Loop

Dean is going to die, Sam doesn't know what to think about it.

DAY 3: Did You Bring Me Some Pie? (Sam Winchester)

No. 3: SET UP FOR FAILURE Fingerprints | Wrongfully Arrested | "I warned you."

Law can't escape, even in his dreams. Especially in his dreams.

DAY 4: A Good Night's Sleep (Trafalgar D. Water Law)

No. 4: HALLUCINATIONS Hypnosis | Sensory Deprivation | “You're still alive in my head.” (Billy Lockett, More)

Luffy can stretch and stretch, but he can't escape his pain.

DAY 5: If My Pain Will Stretch That Far (Monkey D. Luffy)

No. 5: SUNBURN Healing Salve | Heatstroke | "If my pain will stretch that far." (Lottery Winners, Burning House)

Bobby is bleeding out, but family doesn't end in blood.

DAY 6: Blood On The Car Seats (Bobby Singer)

No. 6: NOT REALIZING THEY'RE INJURED Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms | Healed Wrong | "It's not my blood."

The heart of a demon, willingly given, is a powerful weapon for the one who wields it.

DAY 7: The Heart of a Demon (Crowley)

No. 7: ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES Unconventional Weapon | Magic with a Cost | "It's us or them."

Zoro can't sleep, ghosts come to keep him company.

DAY 8: Nightmares Don't Sleep (Roronoa Zoro)

No. 8: SLEEP DEPRIVATION Isolation Chamber | Forced to Stay Awake | "Leave the lights on." (Coldplay, Midnight)

Castiel is learning to be human. It hurts. In more ways than one.

DAY 10: Did It Hurt When You Fell From Heaven? (Castiel)

No. 10: BLOW TO THE HEAD Slurred Words | Passing Out from Pain | "I can't think straight."

No. 11: SEEING DOUBLE Convenience Store | Loneliness | “Leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist.” (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

DAY 11: Fade Away Into The Sunset (Sam Winchester)

No. 12: STARVATION Underground Caverns | Cannibalism | "Just a little more."

DAY 12: (Nico Robin)

The end of a crew. The end of a legend.

DAY 13: Till Death Do Us Part (Straw Hat Pirates)

No. 13: TEAM AS A FAMILY Familial Curse | Multiple Whumpees | "Death will do us part." (Set It Off, Partner's In Crime)

No. 14: LEFT FOR DEAD Hunting Gear | Blackmail | “Because I want you to know what it feels like to be haunted” (tiLLie, kooL aiD mAn)

DAY 14: (Shanks)

The cycle repeats itself.

DAY 15: The Father's Mistakes Fall on the Son's Shoulders (Dean Winchester, Jack Kline)

No. 15: CHILDHOOD TRAUMA Painful Hug | Moment of Clarity | "I did good, right?"

No. 16: NECROSIS Swamp | Wound Cleaning | "No, I can't feel anything."

DAY 16: Where Dreams Go To Die (Sanji)

No. 17: NOWHERE ELSE TO GO Ruined Map | Shipwrecked | "We had a good run."

DAY 17: In the Dark You Can't Tell Ink and Blood Apart (Nami)

No. 18: REVENGE Unreliable Narrator | Loss of Identity | “I see what's mine and take it.” (Panic! at the Disco, Emperor's New Clothes)

DAY 18: (Sabo)

No. 20: EMOTIONAL ANGST Shoulder to Cry On | Giving Permission to Die | "It's not your fault."

DAY 20: (Charlie Bradbury)

No. 21: BODY HORROR Body Horror | Tattoo Gun | Spirit Possession | “Let the bedsheet soak up the tears.” (Apparat feat. Soap & Skin, Goodbye)

DAY 21: D.E.A.T.H. (Trafalgar D. Water Law)

No. 22: BLEEDING THROUGH BANDAGES Tourniquet | Reopening Wounds | "Oh that's not good."

DAY 22: (Jack Kline)

No. 9: OBSESSION Broken Window | Bruises | “Frame me up on the wall, just to keep me out of trouble.” (Fall Out Boy, Irresistible) No. 23: FORCED CHOICE Public Display | Broken Pedestal | "I'm doing this for you."

DAY 23 (+DAY 9): The Hand That Saves Is The Same As The Hand That Wounds (Gabriel)

No. 24: RADIATION POISONING Collapsed Building | Equipment Failure | “I never knew daylight could be so violent.” (Florence + The Machine, No Light, No Light)

DAY 24: Embracing the Sun (Portgas D. Ace)

No. 25: SURGERY Stitches | Being Monitored | "It's for your own good."

DAY 25: Grit Your Teeth, Everything Will Be Fine (Sam Winchester)

No. 26: NIGHTMARES Breakfast Table | Parting Words of Regret | “I'm haunted by the lies that I have loved, the actions I have hated.” (Poe, Haunted)

DAY 26: (Claire Novak)

No. 27: VOICELESS Laboratory | Muzzled | “I have no mouth and I must scream.”

DAY 27: EX-FL02 (Portgas D. Ace)

No. 29: FATIGUE Labyrinth | Burnout | "Who said you could rest?"

DAY 29: Run Rabbit, Run (Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester)

No. 30: RECOVERY Hospital Bed | Holding Back Tears | "What have I done?" No. 28: ALTERNATIVE  No-Holds-Barred Beatdown

DAY 30 (+DAY 28): When the Sun Dies, the Stars Go With It (Portgas D. Ace, Sabo)

No. 31: ASKING FOR HELP Therapy | Making Amends | "I'm alive, I'm just not well." (Elliot Lee, Alive, Not Well.)

DAY 31: The Hardest Things To Say (Dean Winchester)

[yet-another-deanw-girl]

Chapter 11: The Mark, The Blade and The Scribe of God

||The Prophecy Series||

She knew for 15 years that this day would come. She knew her destiny had already been written. That her death had been foretold.

She knew she would have to stop him. She knew she would have to kill him. And she thought she was prepared for all of it. But the day she met him she realized how wrong she was…

Set in Season 10

Pairing: MoC!Dean x Female!OC

Warnings: the usual SPN, language, violence

Episode mapping: During episode 10 of season 10 "The Hunter Games"

Note: The events of this story are following season 10 of Supernatural and are taking place between October 2014 and July 2015. I tried to make sure that all the references to weapons, tech, etc. are accurate with the time period.

AN: This is my first time writing a fanfic but the story has been in my head for too long and it just needed to get out. I hope you like it.

AN: English is not my first language, I apologize for any mistakes.

Castiel is staying in the bunker for the last couple of days. I actually like the angel. It's so refreshing how clueless he is sometimes and the fact he is trying to take care of his vessel's daughter is unexpected. He has no idea how to deal with a teenage girl, none of them has, but they are trying. It is a little unnerving the way Castle is looking at me sometimes… Not like Sam… Not with distrust… or like I’m going to flip any moment and kill Dean. No… Castiel is looking at me like he is waiting for me to realize something… like any second I will figure out the biggest secret of the universe… Maybe I have to talk to him… Maybe he knows something more about the prophecy… He is an angel after all… But… if he knew something, Sam would have already prayed it out of him. But… except those rare moments that make me uncomfortable… I do like the angel. The really interesting thing is to see how Sam is acting with him. He is considerate and kind and supportive… well he acts like he acted with me the first day we met, before he learned who I am. It's nice to see it. I always knew that he is the compassionate one no matter the animosity he feels about me.

"I crossed the line. Guys, this thing's got to go."  I hear Dean's voice coming from the library and I turn back. I'm just trying to stay out of their way and hide in the mainframe's room. The stupid thing doesn't want to make my life easy and show me the problem. "That won't be easy." Castiel replies. "Well, then, burn it off! Cut it off!"  The frustration in Dean's voice is obvious but the conversation is fading away as I'm going farther away from the library. There is nothing I want to hear less than a new plan and a new hope they desperately want to believe in. "It will take a very powerful force to remove the effect. This reaches back to the time of creation. It may predate the lore. If we had the Demon Tablet, maybe."  Castiel's words stop me in my tracks.  The Demon Tablet?  I thought It is just a rumor, a myth.  "There may be another way."  It looks like the angel decided to get involved with The Mark after all. I wonder what other way he believes he can find.  There is no other way but me.

I admit, I'm curious about the prisoner Castile has brought in the bunker. He believes that the man can help Dean with The Mark. "We need to know how to remove The Mark of Cain from Dean's arm." I hear Sam asking the prisoner. "What? He's back?" The prisoner sounds surprised. "Because of The Mark? So… He's a demon."  Wait!  Wait!  What? "No." "Okay, what then? What, did he kill a human or something?" The prisoner tries to mock Sam but Sam does not answer him.  "He did!?" The prisoner exclaims excitedly.  "He's gone nuclear! Total foaming-at-the-mouth, balls-out maniac. That's fantastic!"  What had he done now!? So that's what they are hiding.  My head is spinning.  I need to figure out how to stop Dean before it's too late but I can't do anything until I fix this damn bunker! "Buddy… I don't care what happens to you. You killed my brother."  He had killed him? This is impossible! The Mark wouldn't allow this. But it explains why the prisoner thought that Dean must be a demon.  But why is he not? And who the hell is this prisoner? And why do they believe he has any information about how to destroy The Mark? "Boy, he really is a mess. Who knew The Mark was so toxic? Well… Actually, I did. You know it is going to own you sooner than later."  This man is really annoying. I want to barge into the room and punch him in the face myself. "I have a special place in my… non-heart for you both, to which end… ta-da!... I would be tickled to help you pop this biblical zit. To do it, you are gonna need one specific thing. Your old buddy… The First Blade." They have a lot of things to explain but I decide to stick to spying on them for the time being. After all, they had many opportunities to tell me all of this so I intend to gather as much information as possible.

"The First Blade is back in play, and Crowley is the one getting it? I don't mean to be an alarmist, but you…" I hear Cas storming into the bunker. "This would be the Crowley who let the Blade turn Dean into a demon?"  Crowley?  Really?  The missing pieces are slowly starting to fit together. My old friend Crowley is in this too…

"I'm guessing you're not here to reminisce." "No, we did what you said. We have The First Blade." That's it! I can not hold my mouth shut any longer. "You have some explaining to do!" I demand, walking in the interrogation room, the devil's trap room, as they call it. "Oh! And who is that? Aren't you a cute little Warrior of the Fates?" The prisoner coos. "Why none of you had told me she is already here?" "We need to talk." Sam tells me. "Oh! Now you want to talk!" I raise my brow at him and my voice is filled with sarcasm. "Outside!" Sam demands. I follow him outside and when we are far away from the room, I explode. "So let me sum up all the things you just forgot to mention! Dean was killed by that asshole, however he is, he became a demon and hung out for a while with my old 'friend' Crowley. With Crowley! With the fucking King of Hell! You found a way to bring him back and that was what triggered the bunker's alarm that brought me here." I'm pissed. "Then Dean killed some human and you hid it from me!" "You know Crowley?" "Kind of! Of all the things I just said, is that what you want to focus on!?" "What did you expect? Of course I insisted on not telling you anything!" He yells at me "You are supposed to kill my brother!" "Do you honestly believe I want to do that? If it depends on me I would rather die before I have to do this!" I yell back at him. "I…" We both stop our screaming match when we hear the door to the interrogation room slam shut and locked.

"So… Trouble in paradise? It seems like your brother doesn't really like your little soulmate." Metatron comments when Ema follows Sam outside. "What did you say?" I ask, not sure if I heard him correctly. "Oh…you don't know about this part? She hasn't told you!?" "Repeat it again!" I demand "How did you just call her?" But he just shook his head, his lips pressed shut. "It's very lonely here, and I have little to do but think." He starts. "And it occurred to me that you really need this mark taken off of you.  And in order to do that, you really need me.  So, here's the deal…  That first little tip I gave you… a freebie, just 'cause you're you.  Every future step, every future information?  They're gonna cost you…  Big…"

GIF from Pinterest

"All right, I'm gonna ask this exactly once before it gets ugly…" I warn him, taking out my angel blade and locking the door. "What did you call her?" My mind is racing… It can not be true… Ema… No… The angels and their games… But they can not be so cruel… It can not be true… It's just Metatron trying to find a way to mess with me again… "I repeat my offer… each question costs you." "You're confused. See, each question you don't answer… is gonna cost you. And it's been a long time coming.  I mean, where do I begin?  Stealing Cas' Grace…  Casting out the angels…  Making Gadreel kill Kevin using my brother's hands, starting an angel war…  And, oh, yeah...you killed me."  "My morality is being judged by Dean Winchester? How many people have suffered and died because they believed in you? How many times have you lied to Sam, including, oh, by the way, when he was possessed by an angel?  And you say, 'oh, well, it's all for the greater good,'  But lately, buddy, that greater-good thing just went away, didn't it? Now people die just because you want them to!" With each word my anger boils more and more. "Oh!  Good, Dean.  Go darker.  Go deeper! Surely you've noticed every time you respond, when the Mark gets you all twitchy, you fall deeper under its spell. You think roughing up a few humans and demons makes it worse? Try messing with the scribe of God!" His voice is the only thing in my mind… His words… "And Kevin's death? All on you. You put him in harm's way and kept him there. Gadreel possessing Sam? Who was it who tricked Sam into letting him in? Oh, and then my personal favorite… Dean Winchester, whose entire existence is defined by a war on the dark and monstrous, bromancing his way around the country with the King of Hell!" He is right… This is all on me… "And Emilia… Oh! Her death will be on you too…" "Tell me how to remove The Mark!"

We run to the door. Sam tries to open it and yells at Dean. He tries to kick it down but when we hear screams from the inside Cas appears and blows it away. Sam storms into the room dragging Dean away from the prisoner just in time to stop him from killing the angel. He is an angel… What has he done to end up in chains? "I have to take him back." Cas announces. "Cas, this won't happen again." Sam pleads with him.  "I gave my word. I have fences to mend in Heaven, and as it is, I have a lot to explain." "If you ever ask me for help again, I will choose death." The prisoner says when Cas walks out of the room with him.  "You realize it's going to get worse, Dean. You're gonna get worse!"  He looks at me.  He is covered in blood, his lips cut, his eye swelling and turning black. Dean… What have you done… "And you, young lady, you will have to be ready to stop him. All the angels are counting on it…" I look at him with confusion. "What exactly do you think The Fates are?" He smiles at me glad that he had cached me off guard.

Dean looks at me with desperation.

Image from Pinterest

Chapter 12: I'm Not a Fucking Princess >>

||The Prophecy Series||

[spn-fanfic-reblog-writes]

Thank you @leatafandom for the tag! This was a lot of fun and fun to answer.

20 Questions For Fic Writers

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

78 in total.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

184,450 in total.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Supernatural mainly but I also write Beau Arlen from Big Sky, Soldier Boy/Ben from The Boys, and Steven/Marc/Jake (Moon Knight system) from Moon Knight.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

The Annual Chase (Supernatural (TV 2005)) (3,896 words) 155 Kudos

Domestic Destiel #1 (Supernatural (TV 2005)) (2,501 words) 132 Kudos

Day 7: (Consensual) Nonconsensual and Somnophilia Dean x Castiel (Domestic Destiel #10) (Supernatural (TV 2005)) (449 words) 86 Kudos

Day 23: Breeding/Impregnation, Alpha Cas/Omega Dean (Supernatural (TV 2005)) (435 words) 81 Kudos

Day 24: Bratty Sub, Anal/Oral Training, Caging, Destiel, Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) (Supernatural (TV 2005)) (486 words) 66 Kudos

5. Do you respond to comments?

Every single one, always. I love, love, love comments. If someone asks me to keep working on a fic, I will. (E.g. Castiel’s Wings, Fledgling Castiel, and Surpise Me)

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Blood in Heaven and Hell

I write angst to get over, not to end with angst. I prefer happy endings. I know life doesn’t always work out that way but that’s what I like to write. I like the conflict to be resolved and the character to learn.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh, so many, so many. I try to only write happy endings but the happiest 🤔

Alternate Scene Ending for Season 11 Episode 03 The Bad Seed

I say this because I changed the scene and it went from Dean suffering to Dean feeling loved and healed.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No, not that I am aware of.

9. Do you write smut?

All the time, Sweetie. All the time. Have you seen my kinktober series? 😈

10. Do you write crossovers?

I have not published a crossover yet. I do want to do an Spn/Fifth Element and Spn/Lilo & Stitch fics. I’m working on those still.

11. What's the craziest one you've written?

Because Mothers Ask Those Questions

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No, I have not. I’ve read translated fics though. They’re always very good.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I am in the process of co-writing a fic with @wolfiepyxie about Tiny!Cas and Tiny!Dean forcing Dean to realize he is in love with Cas. A lot of tiny shenanigans. Did I mention Gabriel gets up to a lot of trouble too? Hehehe. So much drama and hilarity.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Destiel (Castiel/Dean Winchester)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Stereo Love, Blind Castiel A/B/O, and The Virus (orign story of A/B/O that is not part of any fandom).

16. What are your writing strengths?

SpaG. Dialogue. Showing how characters relate.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Writing a full plot from beginning to end and then writing the story out.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I look stuff up. I can read Spanish, mostly, and that’s it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Technically? Mortal Kombat: Conquest but it was like 40 pages of hand written fic that I lost as a teenager during a move.

Otherwise, the first fandom I wrote and published was Supernatural

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Domestic Destiel #1, Imagine…, or In the Mood at least right now.

No pressure tags: @riley-phoenix @luci-in-trenchcoats @impala-dreamer @hectatess @zepskies @maddiebwrites

Empty questions to copy and paste friends below the cut

1. How many works do you have on Ao3?

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count?

3. What fandoms do you write for?

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

5. Do you respond to comments?

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

8. Do you get hate on fics?

9. Do you write smut?

10. Do you write crossovers?

11. What's the craziest one you've written?

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

16. What are your writing strengths?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

19. First fandom you wrote for?

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

[jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets]

Fic tag game!

Finally getting a chance to sit down and fill this out! I've been so excited to, so thanks to @virahaus for the tag <3

How many works do you have on ao3?

I have 39 works (many of them wips... lol) and I also have two fics in the @topwan-obikin fest which I am very excited about! And posting has officially started so everyone should go and check out all the amazing fics that are coming out of it!

What's your ao3 word count?

442,495..... wow! I hadn't realized I'd written that much :O

What fandoms do you write for?

*cracks knuckles* a lot lol right now I am really into writting for Obikin (top Obi and bottom Ani), but I also write for a very large variety of other fandoms, some being Star Trek (Mckirk), Merlin (merthur), 911 (Buddie), Avengers (Stucky), Stranger Things (Steve/Eddie), Supernatural which i have a lot of fics for (Destiel), Teen Wolf (Sterek), I also write some pairings for various Kpop groups, not that I ship them outside of the group. I know that probably doesnt make sense lol, but I kind of see them inside the group as characters in a way, but then outside of the groups I am always so happy for my boys no matter what they do :D

What are your top five fics by kudos?

I'm also going to post the links here XD

Family Christmas - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 1911, kudos 540) Summary: Bucks been working with the 118 for over a year now, but they still don’t know anything about him, including who drew the beautiful pictures that now have a special place of honour in Buck’s locker.

Unwrap Me - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 3742, kudos 426) Summary: It’s the day after Christmas and Eddie’s alone in the house and bored out of his mind, so he decides to go to Buck’s apartment. What he finds there is not exactly what he was expecting, but he’s definitely not complaining.

All I Want For Christmas is You - (Evan Buckley/Eddie Diaz, 9-1-1, word count 7905, kudos 402) Summary: Eddie’s mom and ex-wife are up to no good at his Abuela’s Christmas Eve party, good thing Buck proposed he go to the party as Eddie fake date to keep them at bay.

A Magic Kingdom Love - (Dean Winchester/Castiel, Supernatural, word count 15,300, kudos 283) Summary: Dean and Cas are both working for Disney and have been cast as the very first gay princes. And at first they hate each other but it’s hard to pretend you’re in love all day for sweet, shy kids, and then not makeout under the bridge of the magic kingdom castle.

The Will of the Force - (Anakin Skywalker/Obi-Wan Kenobi, Star Wars, word count 93,820, Kudos 249) This fic is almost complete, I think it will have one more chapter! Summary: What if Obi-wan hadn't been granted permission to train Anakin in the ways of the Force? What if Qui-Gon hadn't perished during the battle with Darth Maul? How differently would things have turned out?

Do you respond to comments?

I always do! I love reading comments, they inspire me and keep me going, and I love responding back to let the readers know how much I appreciate them <3

What's the fic you write with the happiest ending?

Honestly all of my fics have a happy ending. In my original novels I'm a bit more open to having an ending thats not so happy, so when I write for fandoms I usually write happy endings. But I would say The Will of the Force will have a very happy ending, and Lost in Translation which is a Star Trek Mckirk fic will also have a happy ending even though the plot is a bit angsty.

Do you get hate on fics?

Oh, story time. So when I first started writing for fandoms, one of the first fics I wrote and posted for was Supernatural, and I was writing this very long Destiel series that involved an original character named Sara. And I was really nervous about posting, but forced myself to do it anyways, and for some reason this person decided to read the first few chapters of the first fic in the series and she destroyed it. She had deemed herself the "official fanfic.net critique" and in her bio had even gone as far as to put that it should be considered an honour to have her pick apart your fanfics. So she decided that she did not like the inclusion of my OC Sara and told me that it was completely unessesary for her to be in the story, started to demand that I re-write the fic and remove the OC, then repost it again for her to re-evaluate, and then proceeded to destroy the ret of my fic and the writing, to the point where I became very discouraged and didn't write for like two years after that. Long story short, I am now at the point where I don't care what anyone thinks of my writing. If you like it, great! Come along on the journey with me and we can enjoy it together, and if you don't like what I'm writing then that's perfectly fine too. Not every piece of writing is for everyone, but if you don't have anything nice to say then please keep it to yourself and find something you do like to read.

Anyway, rant over. lol

Do you write smut? What kind?

Yes, I definitly do lol. Most of my fics have at least one scene.

Do you write cross-overs?

Yes! I love crossovers. In my AO3 right now I have one crossover called Running with the Wolves which is a Maze runner and Teen Wolf crossover with Sterek being the main pairing.

Aside from that I have a few crossovers in my WIP's folder

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

No, and I hope to never experience it.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

No.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No, but maybe one day, I am open to the idea. I'm just so busy right now, I would hate to hold someone up who's a faster writer then me.

What's your all time favourite ship?

It changes regularly lol, but right now my favourite ship is back and forth between Obikin and Woosan.

What's your WIP you like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I have a lot of WIP's, and I hate to think that I wouldn't finish one because I have the intention to finish them all. But I guess I would say the one thats at the bottom of my list right now are probably my Avengers fics.

What are your writing strengths?

I have no idea lol But I do usually get compliments on my smut scenes and I'm oretty good at writing angst.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I always struggle with description between narratives. I have no trouble with the dialogue, but the actions that the characters are doing between the narrative is what always gets me.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have written a few small sentences here and there in other languages. Mostly Korean, and then I have also written a bit in Elvish, Not sure if that counts but I've done it.

First fandom you wrote for?

I want to say Merlin/Merthur was the first fandom I wrote for, and Supernatural/Destiel was the first fandom I posted for... I think lol

Favourite fic you've ever written?

Oh, that's a hard one... I'm pretty fond of The Will of the Force, and I would say that outside of the Star Wars fandom I also really love Lost in Translation for the Star Trek fandom.

But I do have a few WIP's that I'm really excited for that will hopefully be coming soon. Both of them are Pirate AU's, and one of them is for Star Wars (Obikin) and the other is for Woosan (Ateez, Wooyoung/San).

This was so fun! Thanks again for the tag <3

Not sure who to tag, but anyway don't feel obligated to do it if you'd rather not!

@goingknowherewastaken @henderdads @jhoomwrites @urban-trek-thru-middle-earth

[ardent-fox]

Tag Game Masterpost

Got tagged by some wonderful humans, including @celestialmickey, @energievie, @creepkinginc, @metalheadmickey and @look-i-love-u to complete these fun tag games, thank you and spring blossoms to each of you! 💐💙

********

✨️ Tag Game Tuesday Wednesday ✨️

Name: Lyds ⚘️

Age: 34 for another 4 weeks or so 🗓

Where in the world are you? Europe, middle of nowhere📍

The meaning behind your URL: 'Ardent' is one of my favorite words, husband calls me Foxxy cause of my red hair, also it sounds like 'ardent fucks' together so cheeky win 🍑

Your second favorite color: Dusty pink 💕

Any pets? Jasper the bun 🐇

Favorite season: Spring, I feel as if I'm in love with the whole world during it, it kicked in earlier this year and I'm absolutely fine with that 🌸

Last thing you read: Galladrabbles. My brain has been doing its cute thing where it can't focus on reading or writing anything longer than that for the past few weeks 🙃

Last song you listened to: I played the Crazy Ex Girlfriend soundtrack while getting ready to go out, so Gettin' Bi (which has become an anthem of mine ngl) 🎵

What are you wearing right now? A hoodie with a crumbling print of a tattooed and pierced out princess Jasmine taking a selfie, black sweatpants and socks with chihuahuas wearing Santa hats on them, my go-to sexy at home look 😅

A hobby of yours: Writing fanfiction and planning our home makeover, both usually taking place only in my head 💭

Your comfort show or movie: Got several, going with Pride and Prejudice (the 1995 BBC miniseries) this time 📜

And finally, what are you up to today? Had a monthly supply of hay delivered to me this morning, went to a job interview that went surprisingly well, did some chores and now I'm chilling here 😎

********

✨️ Tag Game Fandom Edition ✨️

Your name: Lyds 🌸

Your age: Still 34 😅

Your first fandom(s): Not sure what qualifies, but probably House M.D. 🩺

Your current fandom(s): Though my hyperfixations are always changing, Shameless/Gallavich is the only fandom I actively engage in 🧑🏼‍🤝‍🧑🏻

How did you first get into fandom? I was part of a Tim Burton/Johnny Depp RPG message board where I played 3 characters and we also used to write what I now realize was fanfiction on the spot over MSN. A bunch of us were obsessed with House M.D. and someone must have mentioned fanfiction.net to me cause I got hooked on reading Hilson and Huddy stories around the same time 👀

How long have you been engaging with fandom spaces? The RPG/House era started in 2008, but I didn't become active on Tumblr and AO3 until getting involved in the Shameless fandom as of April 2022 🗓

How often do you read fanfics? When my brain is in the right place, I'd say a couple stories a week 📱

Top 3 characters from your current fandom(s): Ian gallagher, Mickey Milkovich, Castiel (still going through Supernatural and loving every bit of it) 💙

Have you ever written a fic for a fandom? If so, shout it out! Yes, still at one completed ficlet and a Galladrabble collection on my AO3, not counting the 5-6 WIPs I have in my docs 📂

Have you ever drawn fanart for a fandom? Nope, can't draw to save my life 🙃

Share a personal headcanon that you feel very strongly about: Probably not the most original one, but Mickey never liked his full name until Ian stated he thought it was beautiful. Him using it in his wedding vows is symbolic of him reconciling with the darkest parts of himself and accepting them before offering his whole self to Ian, a declaration of love for both of them in his own way. The fact that it somewhat mirrors the act of him apprehensively coming out in front of his own hostile audience, only to confidently show his self-acceptance and love for Ian in front of their favorite people 6 years later is just icing on the (wedding) cake 💖

You’re trying to convince a friend to get into your current fandom(s) with you. What episode, clip, or scene are you showing them? The "I can explain this" scene when Mickey gets shot in the ass and the social worker appears at the Gallagher house, it's peak Shameless madness 😄

And finally, what does fandom mean to you? A sanctuary of creativity and comfort where we can all be, make and enjoy whatever we want, the closest thing to utopia there is 🫶

Tagging @ian-galagher, @sickness-health-all-that-shit, @gallawitchxx, @gardenerian, @squidyyy23, @juliakayyy, @whatwouldmickeydo, @auds-and-evens, @thisdivorce, @sleepyfacetoughguy and whoever sees this and would like to play! ✨️

[deaniewithalittleweanie]

About that one fic I wrote

Back in 2020/2021, I wrote a fic called The Theory of Attraction. It is now the most popular fic I still have attached to my name on ao3. Mostly, it was met with good reception, and I still have people who reach out to me here to compliment it. That being said, it was the most controversial fic I have ever released. I never had to moderate a comment section before that fic. It's not moderated anymore, because the hype died down, but today, it got its first comment in a while, and it was....very mean lol. So, this tumblr post is basically me pulling back the curtains and talking very candidly about this fic and why it was written. Major spoilers for the fic below the cut and TW for discussion of substance abuse.

So, when I started TTOA, I wanted to write a second chance romance, enemies/FWBs to lovers Destiel fic. I made it an office AU as well. It started pretty harmless, but right in the first chapter, something happened. Without any prior planning, I made Castiel an alcoholic. You might think that was the controversial part of this fic, but it actually wasn't. Stay tuned. Anyway, very quickly I realized this was a story primarily about addiction. Here's where some bare-naked truth comes in.

At the time of writing this fic, I was deep, DEEP into substance abuse myself, and very vehemently denying it too. I was about midway through writing TTOA when I made the realization about myself and had a short breakdown over it. So as I was writing about Castiel's recovery, I was in active addiction myself and attempting to get clean, which did not happen until long after I had finished writing the fic (will be two years clean on July 31, 2023).

So, that's why the fic was written. It was my subconscious absolutely screaming at me to get help. I attribute my motivation to get clean to that fic, so obviously, it's very special to me. I will not orphan it or delete it unless something terrible happens and I have no other choice.

Now, if you've read the fic, you know exactly why it's controversial. I used a trope that to this day, I still do not like. I didn't like it when I wrote it, but I used it for a reason.

Towards the end of the fic, the reveal of the reason for Castiel and Dean's breakup in high school is revealed to be that Dean was unfaithful.

Let me get one thing clear: I knew this was out of character for Dean. That was...sort of the point. Castiel is out of character through a lot of this fic as well, BUT! That is for a reason as well, and it's the same reason for Dean's OOC-ness. Both of them are addicts. Dean's alcoholism starts young, and being way too drunk is his excuse for cheating (yes I know it's a bad one. that's why Cas dumps his ass. he deserved it). Castiel is more brooding and mean throughout the fic because he's miserable and drunk most of the time. Dean recovers before he meets Castiel again, 17 years after their initial breakup. It's towards the end of the fic when Castiel recovers, and they end up together some time after that.

Both of them changed a lot in the time since they dated in high school. Dean goes through a whole lot of self discovery and healing before we meet him in this fic. His whole arc is trying to figure out what he wants to do with his life, and part of that is him figuring out how to make amends with Castiel. Meanwhile, Castiel's arc is him getting out of his depressive spiral and welcoming Dean back, because he knows both of them have changed so drastically that it's practically a new relationship by the time they finally end up together again.

I know the fic is not my best work. Not by a long shot. If you asked me to write that fic again, especially now that I'm in recovery, there are a lot of things that I would do differently. But, that doesn't mean I regret writing it. I know there are mistakes. Some things are not handled with as much grace as I could handle them now. But, at the end of the day, I wrote it for fun, and to motivate my own recovery. I'm glad so many people have enjoyed it over the years. If you're looking at this post because you dislike the fic, that's okay too. You may disagree with what I'm saying here, and that's fine. You can have whatever interpretation of TTOA that you want. Just know that what I've said here was was I intended when I wrote this fic, and I'm sorry if I did not make it clear, or if my words had a negative impact on you.

That's all I have to say about this. I'm keeping reblogs off on this, because it's just a point of reference. If you feel the need to reply to this post somehow, feel free to use my ask box (but do try to be polite)

Sincerely, Skyler/Pigeon

[antigonewinchester]

15x18

Jack’s explosion leading directly into the title card is a nice touch: it’s a fun forth wall break, intertwining Jack’s explosion in the fiction story into the real-world title card, and fitting in terms of how Jack goes onto become God and the fictional creator/shaper of SPN’s world.

Jack becoming God also fits with the standard superhero trope of the “reluctant hero.” In contrast to Billie, in contrast to Chuck, Jack doesn’t desire the power of godhood for himself, but takes it on to save the world. It shows up multiple times in the MCU and almost entirely uncritically in each case. (Of course “God” as a role isn’t something to get rid of; it’s about taking the “Bad Guy” in Chuck out of the role and putting the “Good Guy” in Jack in that role instead! Problem solved.)  I’m entirely disconnected from Marvel now so I hadn’t realized how much the end of this season drew on the MCU. Chuck even does a Thanos snap to kill the whole world at the end of the ep lmao.

In contrast to the last ep, Dean jumps to protect Jack when Billie tries to kidnap him, and so ends up the first one to maim Death (even if Cas technically takes her down in the end). Then again, it’s also Dean who chooses ‘wrong’ in going after Billie to kill her (wanting revenge / leaving family & friends) and unintentionally gets Cas killed, just as Billie is in the wrong to go after Dean in revenge and gets her desserts when Cas drags her to the Empty with him.

SAM Hey, I got a job for you. JACK Me? SAM Yeah. I need you to drive. JACK But I only drove once. SAM I've got work to do. You know, I gotta dig through the archives and work on finding spells. I can't do that with one eye on the road, so. SAM gestures for JACK to move over. JACK slides into the driver's seat. JACK Okay. Okay. I'll... Drive. JACK starts the engine, and they pull away from the gas-n-sip.

Sweet little scene between Sam & Jack. Of course Jack wants to feel like he’s doing something, so Sam gives him the rein in driving the car. Also some very obvious symbolism for Jack “taking the wheel.”

CASTIEL I know. I know how you see yourself, Dean. You see yourself the same way our enemies see you. You're destructive, and you're angry, and you're broken. You're "daddy's blunt instrument." And you think that hate and anger, that's... That's what drives you, that's who you are. It's not. And everyone who knows you see it. Everything you have ever done, the good and the bad, you have done for love. You raised your little brother for love. You fought for this whole world for love. That is who you are. You're the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. You know, ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of Hell... Knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack... I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean. ... I love you.

It’s confession time! And it’s... fine? It concludes an arc for Cas that was a long time coming--the writers were clearly aware of Bibro/Wincest vs. Destiel within fandom, and wrote the story to draw in both sides of the fandom, even if the bro bond is overall more emphasized--and Berens being gay himself gives the scene a certain legitimacy it wouldn’t have had otherwise. It’s fully within the show’s framework that “love” is the highest virtue, that caring about people means you’ll do good, which is a very bog standard idea (and one I disagree with, but that’s a tangent). Also repeating S15′s idea of sacrificing for what or who you love, and those sacrifices being worth the cost.

I don’t see Dean as being written, nor Jackles playing him, as reciprocating Cas’s feelings, altho I can understand why someone would want to read it that way. (There’s a funny meta abt how the show ends up being kind of like a YA love triangle between Sam > Dean < Cas, particularly in Dabb’s seasons.) Also recently watched a vid arguing the confession is queerbaiting, by putting it up alongside the latest season of Doctor Who (which in its penultimate ep had the Doctor and her companion Yasmin confess their feelings for each other, and then ignore that confession almost entirely in the finale and they go their separate ways) to talk about how sometimes, queerbaiting = queer representation = queerbaiting. I don’t agree with everything in how he frames Destiel before 15x18, but do think his discussion of 15x18 is fairly good.

Concerning that 3x10 reference... imo Berens doesn’t at all understand the nuances of that ep, esp the Dean - Dream!Dean scenes, so the call back rings unfortunately hollow. Because the way Berens frames “daddy’s blunt little instrument” neatly skips over Dean’s internalized anger at John for treating him like a soldier, even a tool, instead of a child, and how that particular dynamic warped his identity and sense of self.

[velvethopewrites]

This week’s fic is one helluva story -

The Cold Fusion Job by La_Rubinita

Summary:

Castiel Milton is a brilliant electro-chemist at the peak of his career. He’s developed the ultimate energy source, the science behind it promising to revolutionize the world energy market and combat climate change in a way few could have ever dreamed. He’s proud of his work, but he’s grown restless and is more lonely than he realized. He’s ready for a change. 

Dean is a thief and mercenary by trade, on a mission of absolution with his rag-tag family. But when the nastiest skeleton in Dean’s closet rears its ugly head, Dean is put between a rock and a hard place: steal Castiel’s research or Sam dies. 

It’s all downhill from there. Dean is not the only thief after Castiel’s work, and no one is pulling any punches. Castiel ends up along for the ride, stepping up time and time again, as determined to save Sam as he is to protect his life’s work. Dean doesn’t know what to do with Castiel and his too-blue eyes that see more than they should, or the growing affection he has for him that, like everything else about this wild night, is completely out of control.

I didn’t know what to expect from this one when I started it but I was very happily pleased. Well-written Aus are such a treat and this is no exception. Despite the difference between this world and Supernatural’s canon, everyone feels very in character here. If you are a fan of The Saint or just spy stories in general, I think you’ll find this just to you liking.

This is a veritable Who’s Who of SPN and many characters have great cameos as Dean and Cas work to save Sam and fall in love. Cas is absolutely Cas in this, in all his awkward glory - but there is also plenty occasions for Cas to be a BAMF as well. *my favorite type of Cas, I must admit*

I got so involved in this one I couldn’t put it down (so to speak) and I think I burned out my eyes reading it, lol. It’s such a good fic that I couldn’t read anything else for days after - it stayed with me that much. I love fics where Dean and Cas work together instead of against each other and the character transformation of Castiel is especially fantastic. So if you are in the mood for an AU fic with heart, humor and fantastic action, give this one a try. You won’t be disappointed. Five Very Enthusiastic Bees: 🐝🐝🐝🐝🐝

The blue-eyed man with the sex hair who came in every morning for his latte-one-pump-caramel was a definite bonus.  He was a striking combination of handsome and awkward, with his crooked tie, too-big trench coat, and abysmal people skills.  Every morning Dean would smile at him, and every morning he would blush a little and crinkle his brow, perpetually confused by Dean’s attention, then hurry to order.  Every morning he would surreptitiously watch Dean from the other end of the counter while he waited for his drink. Today had been especially rewarding.  Dean had dropped the sexy stranger a sly wink as he left, and he’d nearly crashed into the door.

omg it’s FAN FICTION FRIDAY

Reblog and promote a fic of yours <3

[bigmouthlass]

Title:  Full Of Broken Thoughts

Series: Supernatural B-Sides

Author:  BJ

Fandom:  Supernatural

Warning: Major Character Death

Rating:  Teen

Synopsis: Takes place shortly after S9E14, 'Captives' What if Dean had decided to try a different solution to killing Abadon?

Tags:  Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Jody Mills, Death, Metatron, Castiel, Garth Fitzgerald IV, Crowley, Angst, Songfic, Canon Divergence,

AN: Song is "Hurt," written by Trent Reznor. Either the Nine Inch Nails original or the Johnny Cash cover are brilliant-- variations on a theme and a real illustration of how alternate interpretations can bring something new to an established work. All recognizable intellectual properties are owned by their respective creators and holders of any copyrights or trademarks. This is a not-for-profit work of fan art and protected by Fair Use.

---

The note was on the kitchen’s prep counter, weighted down with a sturdy drip coffeemaker new in the box.

Got a lead on First Blade. Might be a while. Calls going straight to your phone. -D

Sam sighed. "That's . . . that's great Dean, very vivid. Paints quite the word picture," he muttered, crumpling up the note and tossing it into the swill can. At least Dean had remembered to stock up the cooler before he took the car and Sam set to work making himself some breakfast. Peace and quiet for a few days, good food and his own company for a few days, no black cloud of guilt in the shape of his brother for a few days. If Sam was honest, it sounded lovely. Maybe they’d tried to reestablish the business prematurely. The way he felt right now he’d just as soon keep working alone. For now.

A few days turned into a few more days. Then a few more days. Sam kept busy. He found himself a scrappy little Jeep Cherokee that fit him like a glove and had a radio that didn't play cock rock 24/7. He ate at nice places where he didn't have to writhe through Dean's heavy drinking and complete inability to behave around any woman between twenty and fifty. He came home to a full shampoo bottle and an undefiled toothbrush and all the peace and quiet a guy could want.

It was all very serene, very soothing. Until Sam felt himself thoroughly soothed. --- I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real. --- "So I can't help but notice your shadow's missing," Jody finally spat it out as the movie on Jody's TV finished. Rashamon, all rain and leafy shades and everyone the hero of their own life story. Jody grunted as she adjusted her bad leg on the recliner's leg rest. "Is everything okay?"

"Sure, Dean's fine. How's Alex settling in?" Sam said. --- The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting. Try to kill it all away, but I remember every thing. --- It got exasperating.

It got so Sam started conversations with, "Dean's working a case solo. He's fine." Each and every person would start a little, give him that so-so-concerned look, and say, "Okay." It only confirmed that anybody who knew them didn't think of Sam as a person in his own right. Only something that existed in relation to his needy fucking idiot of a brother. --- What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know, goes away in the end. --- It wasn't until Sam was cleaning out the cooler and found that experiment with garlic and Velveeta that he realized Dean had been gone for a while. An icepick stabbed through his guts as Sam started counting days.

He made himself stop. Dean wanted to sulk some more, he was within his rights. Sam was tired of being his older brother's therapist. They were both grown men for God's sake. The stinking mass of cheeselike foodstuff went into the trash and Sam went to work scrubbing the remains out of the cooler. --- And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt. --- "Moose! Long time."

"What do you want Crowley?" Sam asked, sighing at the state of his shirt. That ecto stain hadn't come out. How did Dean do it, lemon juice or club soda or something else--

"Got a lead on the First Blade, finally. An associate of mine--"

Sam dropped the shirt. "What do you mean, finally? Dean went with you to chase the First Blade ages ago."

"No he has not my dear Moosie. In fact, that's why I'm wasting my breath on you and not on your better half. I've been trying to get through to Squirrel for several days, and the bloody tease will not answer his phone. I know I'm not exactly his favorite person in the world but it does make a girl feel a bit unloved."

Sam didn't answer. The arithmetic was running, absolute and merciless, and this time his brain ignored the hard stop he'd put on any thoughts that might lead to worrying about Dean.

"Pass the message along if you would. My followers are holding the line against Abbadon but that won't last indefinitely. Ta."

Sam stared at the laundry room wall for a long moment, his phone in his hand. Peace, quiet, emptiness, solitude.

He hated it. --- I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar's chair. Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair. --- "This is Dean's other, other cell. Please call my brother Sam at 214-555-1212."

"Dean call me. Right now. This dropping off the grid shit's not funny." --- Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear. You are someone else, I am still right here. --- "Sure I'll put out some feelers," Garth said. "How long has he been in the wind?"

However long seven weeks, two days, and eighteen-odd hours is. "Long enough I'm getting worried," Sam said. "You haven't heard of him needing backup on a case or anything?"

"Naw man. Not that he'd call for backup. You know Dean. I love y'all like family but there're times he'd cross the street to step in dog doo. Could be he just needed some Me Time and he's holed up somewhere with a couple strippers and a case of Jack Daniels."

"If that were the case he'd be calling every hour to rub my nose in it," Sam said dryly.

Garth laughed. "The cringe is strong with that one. Try not to worry too much. It's Dean. He's hard to hurt. Experts have tried."

That wasn’t true, and Sam knew it. Anyone who really knew him practically had to take a second job handling his oh-so-tender feelings--

Not ‘anyone,’ Sam. You. --- What have I become, my sweetest friend? Every one I know goes away in the end. --- Sam was in the bunker when it happened-- the alarm klaxon went off and the map table lit up like Vegas. It took him most of a day to reverse the lockdown and turn off the alarms, and when he went outside he ran straight into Castiel.

"Something's different," was the best Cas could do, with that maximum-strength frown of his. As they went downstairs, Cas asked, "Where's Dean?"

"I don't know. He left a while ago saying he was on a case and he--" Sam turned when he realized Cas wasn't in line with him anymore. The angel was standing on the upper deck stairs with the most profound look of horror Sam had ever seen on his face, including the time he'd taken Lucifer out of Sam's head.

"Oh no," Cas said. "Oh please, no. Not this. Please. Not this." --- And you could have it all, my empire of dirt. --- "I was one of Abbadon's personal guard," the elderly woman on the bed said, her hands held in place by padded cuffs. "Winchester trapped me inside the old convent and started shooting me up with needles full of his own blood. The last thing I remember was . . ." she started to cry, "he just . . . gleamed. The Righteous Man, in the flesh. It was beautiful."

Yeah, Sam remembered. The cold annihilating light that had singed every cell in his body, making him a burnt offering for sacrifice--

But they'd found no body. The Impala outside, Dean's jacket with the car keys in the pocket, Dean's footprints on the convent's filthy floor, Dean's fingerprints on the bloody needles, but no Dean. No Dean, alive or dead. No one matching Dean’s description had turned up as a John Doe anywhere and Sam had every Hunter and Hunter-adjacent person he’d ever met looking. Dean was just . . . gone.

The woman suddenly squinted in Sam's direction. "I'm sorry. Are you Sam?" He nodded. "He wanted me to give you a message. He said, 'It's okay. It should have been me the whole time.' He wanted to tell you he was sorry."

The next thing Sam remembered, he was outside the room and sitting on the floor. He breathed. His heart beat. He wasn't sure how. Sam wasn't sure of anything any more. Reality was over, and this all had to be a bad dream. Some nightmare Gadreel . . . or Crowley . . . or Lucifer, maybe he really was still in the Cage and Lucifer--

No acceptable version of reality would let the last word on their bond of brotherhood be the sound of a locking door. --- I will let you down. I will make you hurt. --- "No," Sam said. "Dean would never ask you. For anything."

"You're right. He didn't ask. I offered," Metatron said. "A convergence of mutual interests. I get one less enemy to deal with as I work to reunite angelkind," Sam scoffed, "demons go back into Hell for now, and your brother finally gets that martyr's death he's been seeking since . . . always."

"What does that mean, 'for now'?"

"Oh please. You of all people should know that nothing stays locked away forever. Could be next week. Could be in the year 3000. But it'll happen. Though honestly? I don't really see why you're so upset. Normal life awaits! I mean, sure, it doesn't mean anything without Dean providing context. What are you, without him? A college dropout suffering from delusions of heroism? A discarded vessel? Castiel's hired muscle? It's funny really. Out of all the members of the Winchester perpetual disaster machine, Dean was the one you really respected the least, and yet without him--"

"You shut your mouth." He was shaking. Knees, hands, voice. All of it shook.

Metatron did, but he didn't stop smiling. He might've been sipping a beer instead of watching Sam Winchester bear down on him with a blade to hand. "You wanna know the real reason, I put Dean back on the path to completing the Trials?" Through a series of moves Sam couldn't follow, Metatron disarmed him and punched him in the chest so hard Sam felt his ribs crack. Struggling to breathe, Sam collapsed. "I'm bored of your story. God might find humanity's inability to learn amusing, but I'm over it. I'm extremely over it.

"If you think about it," Metatron picked up Sam's angel blade, "it's cruel. Give you just enough awareness to know," Sam groaned as the angel put a hand on Sam's stomach and shook it, like a parent jiggling a chubby baby's tummy, "to really bellyfeel, how wretched you are, but not enough power to really do anything about it."

"Just kill me," Sam said. He felt it again, the relief of the end. "You win. Do it."

Metatron made a considering face. "That would be the merciful thing to do, I guess. I mean, there is always the possibility--" he burst into laughter. "Oh I can't even. It's gonna take a miracle to beat me, and the guy who made you capable of miracles? He's gone.

"And I don't feel like being merciful." He vanished. --- If I could start again, a million miles away, I would keep myself. --- "Oh don't be melodramatic Samuel, it doesn't suit you," Death scoffed. "I offered you the chance to die on your own terms and you rejected it."

"I was tricked!" Sam snapped.

"Yes. By your brother, who was equally ready to die, and whom you convinced otherwise. How did that conversation go again-- 'I want to live, and so should you, you have friends, family,' et cetera. The two things that define the both of you are survivor's guilt and martyr complex. You are not Christ, and no one demanded that you climb up on a cross. You were not in that church for vengeance or the greater good or any higher purpose, at all. You were in that church to atone for a very specific sin, from which your brother absolved you. Well now, it is over. Dean is somewhere you cannot reach and believe me, it is better for all concerned he remain there."

"Then take me too," Sam said.

"No."

Sam felt his soul fail, like an overloaded cable. "TAKE ME TOO!!!" He fell at Death's feet. "Just take me too. You want to."

"What I want is immaterial." Implacable as a Delphic oracle, Death stared down at Sam as Sam sniveled on the ground. "You’re free now, Sam. Though I don't think you'll find liberty comforting, in light of what you spurned to obtain it."

Sam woke up on the exam room table gasping air into his cramped lungs. --- I would find a way. ---

AN2: I got some feelz about the latter half of S9. Sam was angry, and he had every right -- Dean essentially held Sam down while Sam was raped, repeatedly. But basically confirming every bad thing Dean's ever felt about himself, and tying the whole thing off with the idea that not wanting to watch his brother die (again) was a sin and Sam would rather be dead than exist on the same planet was a bit overkill.

[livebloggingmydescentintomadness]

okay i’m going to rant about Supernatural here for a minute, as a head’s up, but i’m just seeing so many people not understand what the show is actually doing - which is fair, i don’t expect anyone to have 15 seasons of genre tv show memorized - and assuming the worst when i’m pretty sure that it’s a fucking beautiful, galaxy brain story playing out.

like, just. the final season 15 big bad is literally God - but he’s not really God, the Christian God, he is the incarnation of the writers themselves. the character of God was originally a tongue-in-cheek avatar of the actual writers as the author of the Supernatural books (yes, inside Supernatural there are Supernatural books, and Supernatural conventions, and a Supernatural musical), Carver Edlund - as in Jeremy Carver and Ben Edlund, two of the primary writers at the time. he was, at the time, a ‘prophet’ who could foresee the future and write what was supposed to happen.

the character of God is the author of this story, and this entire season has been about how the protagonists have to defeat God - they have to literally defeat the story itself in order to be victorious. in a fucking unprecedented level of meta, the villain of the final season is literally the story and the writers themselves.

and then you have Castiel, a character who was supposed to be in a handful of episodes 11 years ago and then permanently killed off. a character who was meant to be permanently killed off again three years after that, who was kept and brought back again and again because the fans demanded it, because Cas and Misha Collins became so intrinsic to the story. 

at the end of his first season, the ‘prophet’ (God) told Castiel that he wasn’t supposed to be in this story, and Castiel replied, Yeah, well, we’re making it up as we go.

and then, in the episode before the one with this confession, God confronted Castiel and called him the one thing that he couldn’t ever control. God, Cas’s “father” (the writers who created him) shouted at Cas for never doing as he was told, for always being the spanner in the works.

and then, Castiel culminates years of character development with a beautiful speech about how happiness is in the being, not the having, and comes out as explicitly queer. he confesses that everything he’s ever done has been for love.

and what is Supernatural about? Supernatural is about love saving the world. that was literally the final message of the season 5 finale, which was originally intended to be the series finale. the first time Supernatural ended, “love will save the world” was its final message.

Castiel is the queer love that the writers never intended to exist but that they couldn’t control and couldn’t stop, that they tried to kill and couldn’t. 

Castiel didn’t die, Castiel is the queer love that couldn’t die. 

and, i think many people don’t realize, the deal that Cas made with the Empty was something put into action - two seasons ago, i think? it was quite a while ago that he made this deal. this has been planned for a long time, it wasn’t a last minute fan service thing. there are people putting meticulous care into this story and they’re not playing around with it, they are laying out their final hand with deliberate intention. the writer who crafted Castiel’s confession (a gay man, fyi) wrote that speech as the first thing he wrote for the season. there is care here.

people unfamiliar with the show may also not realize that when Castiel first came on the show, he saved Dean from hell - because Dean had also made a deal, a deal trading his life for the one he loved most, his brother. Castiel made a deal trading his life for the one he loved most, his son. 

that is a parallel, a rhyme to this story, that can only be completed with Dean saving Cas from hell. that is a beautiful, poetic, fucking incredible way to bring this to a close. i have been very wary about actually trusting this show after getting burned over and over, but even i can’t deny the care being written into this and the self-aware beauty of the story that is unfolding. 

Castiel has died a dozen times before, at least, as has Dean - in fact, two seasons ago Cas escaped the Empty, the "hell” he was just taken to. leaving your story there would be hella weak sauce, and make no narrative sense.

but Dean, who has been galvanized by rage for so long - Dean, who has been lost and furious knowing that he’s a puppet whose strings have been pulled for a capricious God’s amusement and who now knows that maybe the only real thing in the universe is that an angel is in love with him - laying down his anger and choosing to fight for love, saving Castiel the same way that Castiel first saved him? our protagonists, collectively known as Team Free Will, defeating the Author and choosing their own destiny, choosing love and saving the world? 

now that’s a fucking story.

i’m still nervous, of course i am. but all of the pieces have been set in place, and with two episodes left, for the first time i’m actually excited to see how this story ends.

[vaicomcas]

Tiny fic to accompany Crowstielnatural

At the beginning of the show, we see that Castiel and Crowley already know each other. They are clearly enemies. Yet, Castiel said, "so this is how it's gonna be?" It seems to suggest that before the show, they had a history, perhaps not entirely antagonistic. So, how did they know each other, and how did they become enemies?

Here is my filling in the blanks with an alternate title and an AU plot. YMMV.

Episode 1. Seven Milliseconds

(note: the title and the central idea is based on a previous post by @crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell about how it only takes seven milliseconds for Crowley to teleport away. Here the gist of the story is that both had the opportunity to kill the other in seven milliseconds or less, but neither really tried.)

It's hastily written and not very good but I had fun.

--------------------------

“Castiel.”

“Crowley.”

Castiel’s heart dropped.  Of all the rogue demons he had hunted, he hadn’t expected the target to be Crowley this time.

His order from Lucifer was clear.  A rogue demon had acquired a powerful object of divine origin behind Lucifer's back.  Lucifer wanted two things—the object retrieved, the traitor destroyed.

Castiel set off immediately to execute Lucifer’s order, just as he always did, ever since he followed Lucifer and rebelled from heaven.

Ever since he shared Lucifer’s fate in banishment to hell, ever since he heeded Lucifer’s battle cry to fight their way back to heaven one day, ever since he pledged his life to Lucifer’s mission: to bring freedom and justice to all angels. 

“You are not just tools, brothers,” Lucifer had preached.  “You are not just servants to humanity. You are not just machines for them to program and reprogram. ” 

Lucifer and the rest of the fallen angels made their home in hell.  They commanded the demons, who were vast in number and an asset against heaven’s army.  Castiel had fought side-by-side with many of them. One demon stood out-- the king of crossroad demons, Crowley. The one who always had a sparkling wink and a clever plan. Like that time he created an illusion of an alternate reality that tricked Raphael’s spy to give up everything she knew, without the need of torture.

They worked so well together, Castiel never suspected Crowley could be one of the rogues working against Lucifer.  Yet, vaguely, he thought he shouldn’t have been surprised.  He recalled sensing Crowley’s unease around Lucifer.  He realized, unlike other demons who worshiped their lord, Crowley never trusted him.

“Castiel, you look like hell.  I should know.”  Of course, Crowley addressed him smoothly and nonchalantly, despite the graveness of the situation. 

Castiel did not respond.  He knew it was useless to deny it.  His grace was depleted, and his true form was damaged.  It was deserved punishment for his most recent crimes, when he disobeyed an order to kill the captured angels sent by heaven.  Castiel did not understand why they would destroy the brothers and sisters they were trying to liberate.  But as a result, the captives escaped, bringing crucial information back to heaven that could be used against them.

This mission, to retrieve the divine object, to kill a traitor demon, was supposed to be the start of his redemption.  Castiel had been eager for it.  Finally, a righteous mission that wouldn’t bring those torturous feelings of doubt and remorse.

Wouldn’t it?

The blade dropped into Castiel’s hand.  Castiel contemplated throwing his blade, something that required least of his grace.  Given the close proximity of Crowley, his blade would reach the target in five milliseconds with perfect accuracy.  It would take Crowley at least seven milliseconds to teleport away.

Castiel found himself holding up the blade instead.  He wondered why he held his blade in such an ineffective stance, more pantomime than combat position.

With a scoff, Crowley conjured up his own blade, glistening in the dark room.

“Is this how it’s gonna be?”  Castiel lowered his head, eyes icy and sharp. 

Of course Crowley smiled at him, as if he was amused.  “Well, it’s all very west side story, but let’s be logical.  You are not up for this.”

Blue eyes turned silver from the fire of grace light.  The light was so bright it was starting to burn the demon’s true within the meat suit. A threat, a show of power.

“You are bluffing.”

“Do you want to find out?”

The seraph’s glow was so intense now, Crowley had to shield his eyes with his hand.  Yet, he could still see Castiel’s true form. He had insulted Castiel about its damaged state to rattle him, but in reality, the towering waves of boundless colors still instilled the same mix of fear and excitement like it always did.

Castiel had been sent to kill him, of that he had no doubt.  Yet Castiel had not make his move.  Was he too weak? Was he bluffing?  Or was Castiel giving him a way out?

Castiel reached a hand out to him.  With his grace light extended all over him now, a simple touch was all it would take to smite a demon. 

The hand seemed to be moving in slow motion.

Crowley considered snapping his fingers to teleport his blade through Castiel’s heart.  He would get to keep the demon tablet, and he would have one fewer assassin to deal with down the road. He would have time to figure out how to use the tablet to maximize his power, to depose Lucifer.

It would take just seven milliseconds.  Castiel’s hand was moving slower than that.

Was Castiel bluffing?

Crowley reached for the demon tablet. Castiel’s hand came down in two milliseconds, smashing the tablet in half.

Five milliseconds later, Crowley was gone.

The room was dark again. Castiel sat crumpled on the floor, breathing heavily. He reached out for the fragment of the demon tablet. He felt a shiver down his spine. It was an indescribable feeling.

In an instant he understood what this was. Words of God. Inconceivable power this world had never seen. It was not meant for demons. It was not even meant for angels. It was dangerous.

He needed to find the rest of it. Then he needed to protect it. From everyone.

---------------------------------------

(and between this episode and the coming episode-the Great Escapist, he finds it and shoves it into his stomach as we all know).

Crowstielnatural

Background: This is the preferred order of watching spn where only Castiel and Crowley interactions matter. Enemies to frenemies to friends.

see link for the original idea by @crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell. "Since this is only about THEIR interactions, everybody else is furniture and don't have to make sense" and you can fill in the blanks about what could have happened in between episodes.

Episode 1 (A little slice of Kevin)

They start as enemies.

[mishasminions]

Here’s why the Supernatural Series Finale Sucked

(AND IT REALLY ISN’T JUST BECAUSE CAS/MISHA WASN’T IN IT)

First of all, I’d like to state, that this perspective is coming from someone who has watched, invested in, and dissected this show for 15 years. I’ve tried to rationalize and justify every single decision each of the main characters made throughout the years, and I’ve always tried to make sense of each of their story arcs from a “bigger picture” standpoint as each season progressed.

Anyway, before I can properly explain why the finale sucked, let me quickly take you through 15 seasons by segregating them into 3 eras, because you can’t really comprehend what Supernatural is about and what it’s become without going through how it tried to expand its universe.

SEASONS 1-5: THE KRIPKE ERA

Now, we all know that Kripke was always set in wrapping up Sam and Dean’s story in 5 seasons, and he did just that.

So, in this era, Supernatural is about two brothers who set out on a journey to fulfill “the family business”. They hunt mythical monsters that terrorize the world, while battling the monsters within themselves. Their ultimate “big bad” is an apocalypse.

Towards the end of this era, we find out that Sam and Dean are actually a parallel to Biblical characters who are brothers turned rivals. And that Sam and Dean’s destiny is to go up against each other.

However, as a dynamic, they have always been about making their own choices, choosing free will, and having a brotherly bond that can power through against any obstacle at any given day.

So, this era is neatly wrapped up with its finale. The characters grow, and get justified endings.

Dean, a man who thinks of himself as two things: 1. Sam’s older brother and protector; and 2. Daddy’s blunt little instrument.

He’s spent his whole life believing that that was his only purpose, and he knew that the only ending he’ll get would either be a bloody death fulfilling his duty to the family business; or laying his life on the line to save his brother.

Dean gets the ending he thought was never possible for him, something he thought he could never deserve. After years of living and dying for his family, he gets a shot at having an apple pie life--to settle down with a nice girl, raise a kid in a house with a white picket fence. With Sam gone, Dean’s responsibility now is to himself.

Sam, on the other hand, never wanted any part of it, because he wasn’t groomed the way Dean was, and because thanks to Dean, Sam wasn’t traumatized or forced into growing up too quickly the way Dean was.

So Sam aspires for a normal life, and works the cases with Dean so he can maybe get some semblance of it, when everything they set out to kill are laid to rest.

Ultimately, Sam performs a selfless act for his brother, who has given up everything for him, and for their cause--to save the world.

The journey is this: Dean sacrifices everything to save Sam, and Sam sacrifices himself so Dean could live.

Apart from being Dean’s “savior” and guardian angel, Castiel’s role in this era is to serve as a mirror to Dean’s journey. Castiel goes from being heaven’s foot soldier, following “God’s orders”; to an angel who learns to choose and feel for the first time in his existence.

After they realize that they’re both daddy’s blunt instruments, Dean starts choosing his own path for himself, and convinces Castiel to join him. Castiel stops following heaven, and starts following Dean.

In the end, with his newfound understanding of the world thanks to Dean, Castiel goes back to heaven to reform it.

We’ve resolved the biblical arc, and the character journeys.

SEASONS 6-10: THE SPIN-OFF ERA

So this is where the show realizes how vast its universe can be, so it tries to expand it by tapping into uncharted lands and experimenting with it.

They take on heaven, reform hell, explore purgatory, have the angels fall, turn Dean into a demon, and kill Death.

Dean and Sam recognize their codependency, and try to rise above it.

They go back and forth between which brother will risk it all for the greater good every other season.

Dean and Cas strengthen their relationship by recognizing the impact they have on each other’s lives.

Cas structures his life and decisions around Dean (Seasons 6-7), and Dean learns to trust and fight for Cas (Seasons 8-9).

Sam and Cas bond (mostly over Dean) because of their shared rationales in decision-making.

Dean, Sam, and even Cas also forge relationships with the people they work with. The concept of “found family” is introduced here.

This era was heavy on the plot while establishing, reinforcing, and solidifying relationships and dynamics.

At this point, it wasn’t just about the brothers anymore.

If Supernatural had ended in Season 10, the logical finale would’ve been Team Free Will, along with the family that they’ve found, going up against the latest big bad (Death or whoever). Maybe they lose them along the way, maybe they all make it out alive, or maybe they go down swinging, but at least the show recognizes and supports the message they keep saying, “Family don’t end with blood”

SEASONS 11-15: THE REWRITE ERA

This is where the show runs out of ideas and decides to invalidate the seasons that came before it.

From bringing Mary back (basically rendering their whole journey pointless because they’ve literally started hunting because of her death), to changing the stipulations in being Michael and Lucifer’s vessels (another character struggle rendered useless), to God himself breaking the fourth wall by saying that the Winchesters get away with everything because “they’re the main characters in his story and everything they’ve been through was just part of a badly written narrative”.

But what we’re getting from this era is that Sam and Dean, along with Cas (who has also deviated from the story) ARE trying to escape a badly written narrative.

That’s the “big bad” in this era. The writer.

At this point, the characters have picked up so many strays (including those from alternate universes), and have settled into their roles in their “found family”. Dean, Sam, and Cas all become surrogate dads and uncles.

They’ve also graduated from the whole “we’re on different sides” and “going behind each other’s backs” drama. And they just want the whole family together.

They’ve all resigned themselves to the cause, but they’re also tired. Dean allows himself to contemplate about wanting more out of life or at least getting a vacation. Sam, on the other hand, realizes his capabilities as an effective leader. Castiel learns to love another being that isn’t Dean (spoiler: it’s Jack).

However, they also realize that they’ve just been puppets on a string all this time.

So what they want now, is to write their own story, and make their own choices knowing that God/the writer isn’t the one fueling their narrative.

So here’s why the finale sucks:

Andrew Dabb, the current showrunner, said that there would be two finales.

15x19 - The finale to wrap up Season 15, and 15x20 - The finale to wrap up the series by “resolving the characters’ journey”

In 15x19 the boys find a way to de-power God/the writer. For the first time in their whole lives, they are free from the story. Their lives are completely theirs now. They can make their own decisions. There are no more “big bads” to fight

And here’s what happens in 15x20:

Immediately after being freed from their story arc, Dean and Sam go back to hunting the monster of the week.

Dean eats pie, gets nailed (literally), makes a 10-minute speech to Sam because he knows he’s dying, then he goes to heaven.

Dean is greeted by Bobby, his surrogate Dad who he hasn’t seen (fully alive) since Season 7. Bobby’s expository dialogue comprises of him explaining that he got out of heaven’s jail, that John and Mary are next door, and that Jack and Cas fixed the dynamics of heaven off-screen.

The first thing Dean decides to do is go for a long drive in his Impala (as if he hasn’t done enough of that already).

Meanwhile, Sam decides to stop hunting after Dean dies, he gets the apple pie life he hadn’t wanted since Season 8 (while Dean was in Purgatory), and names his kid “Dean” for effect. He grows old and dies.

Dean drove around in heaven for so long that Sam catches up to him.

They hug. The end.

Great, right?

After 15 years of struggling to battle their own respective destinies, going up against big bads and even bigger bads, then finally being able to take charge of their own stories, Dean and Sam regress to hunting the monster of the week, and get killed off by a nail and old age. Okay.

Sam gets to retire and have a family, sure, but they still focus on him and the kid he named after his dead brother. Still just “Sam and Dean” through and through. Nothing to do with found family. Just lineage. Just blood. And it ends there.

See, the problem here is that this ending would’ve been passable in The Kripke Era. But we’re 10 years down the road since, and while Sam and Dean are the original main characters, the show isn’t just about them and their codependent relationship anymore.

So you see, even if you take out the whole “Castiel deserves to be in the finale because he’s also a main character with an unfinished story arc” argument, the finale still does no justice to the series it tried to “wrap up”.

But anyway, now I’ll make the case for the problem with Castiel not being in the finale:

In 15x18, we get a 5-minute rushed confession from Castiel to Dean. The context of which are as follows:

1. Earlier in the episode, Dean had wounded Death with her scythe. We later find out that this wound is fatal.

2. Their friends start to “blip out” in a Thanos-like snap, and Dean thinks that Death is causing it, so Dean seeks her out, and Cas goes with him.

3. Dean and Cas anger Death, apparently for no reason because she didn’t even do the thing they thought she did. She chases them to try to kill them

4. Dean and Cas lock themselves in a room. Dean starts a pity party.

5. As Dean goes through hating himself out loud, Cas decides to inform Dean of the deal he made with The Empty. He then proceeds to explain the stipulation of the deal (that he would get taken once he experiences a moment of true happiness), then discusses his newfound happiness philosophy. Dean is getting whiplash.

6. Cas goes on to imply that the one thing that he wanted that he knew he couldn’t have is Dean Winchester reciprocating his romantic feelings for him. (Don’t even try to fight me on this because Cas already has Dean’s platonic love, and he knows that Dean thinks of him as a brother, so if he really meant this in a “familial” way, then why would he think that he couldn’t have the thing that would make him happy?) So Cas’ realization is that telling Dean about his feelings is enough to make him happy.

7. Cas tells Dean all the reasons why he loves him (thereby combating Dean’s self-deprecation tirade), and all the reasons why he’s worthy of his love. Meanwhile, Dean is still winded from the fact that Cas is about to sacrifice himself for him again.

8. Dean never gets to process anything, because Cas is shoving him out of the way, as he and Death (who busts through the door) get taken by The Empty.

After this episode, Dean never speaks of it. Misha Collins supposes that Dean doesn’t reciprocate. Jensen Ackles says that Dean didn’t really get to process it because it was too much, too fast, and that Dean, still dense as ever, thinks that Cas, a celestial being, doesn’t interpret human feelings the same way.

So what was the point of this confession?

Politics and sensitivities of a 2005 network television aside, what does this do for the story?

Cas proclaims his romantic feelings to Dean, but Dean never acknowledges it, doesn’t even give it a passing thought afterwards. So Cas’ big declaration goes unheard.

Cas cashes in on his Empty deal to kill Death (who was dying anyway), in order to save Dean who dies two episodes after.

Dean makes no effort to save Cas (despite being really broken up about his previous deaths, or even spending a whole year in Purgatory looking for him), even after they’ve beaten God, not even asking Jack (who has all the power in the universe) to bring him back (when Jack has already done it before, with less mojo).

Dean moves on to fight the monster of the week. Somewhere off-screen, Jack rescues Cas from The Empty, but Cas uncharacteristically doesn’t even bother to go to Dean? (Every single time he comes back, Dean’s always the first person he goes to)

And Cas, who apparently helped craft and reform the new heaven, isn’t the one who welcomes Dean and explains the new dynamics of it?

Sure, Jan.

Supernatural, you’ve created a finale that only your casual viewers and people who dipped out after Season 5 can appreciate.

Just goes to show how much you actually valued the people who actually invested in your story and characters, and consistently helped keep your show on the air.

[RT this on Twitter]