#the story is not ending anytime soon

[oobbbear]

HAPPY 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO OUR LITTLE GAY WITCH STORY!!!

[centeris2]

This seems to be an uncommon opinion but thank god SSO is making (what appears to be) serious headway into the story.

For years it felt like it had stalled out. It was valid wanting main characters and villains to be visually updated before continuing, but it slowed things down.

I'm glad they aren't going "we need to update Mr. Sands, Darko is a pretty old model compared to the Dark Riders, Avalon really needs an update, so does Pi, etc"

Because yes it absolutely would look better if everyone had the same number of polygons. And yes it WOULD be great if SSO picked up those threads mentioned throughout the main story. But if they did that and got all those map areas that had been brought up in the story quests then it'd be another 10 years of filler in the main story until they can 'wrap up'

And honestly I'm tired of waiting. This isn't even an impatience thing, this is a "I've played this game for 10+ years and at this point I don't care how it's wrapped up, as long as it IS wrapped up."

Probably helps that I don't expected a 'satisfying' ending from SSO, I just want AN ending to the main story. I expect Garnok to be 'defeated' and for the Soul Riders to be victorious, probably through the power of friendship. That's all I'm expecting.

[sieglinde-freud]

grabs ur hands dm ur reasoning rn *looks at you with my big eyes*

YOU GUYS ARE PEER PRESSURING ME WTF... but ok im just gonna post it here then hi tc thank u for the ask :) going under the read more because my initial ramblings were literally 3k but let me see if i can chop it down. cw: LONG. also pic for reference so we know what im talking about

so the placements all assume the only headcanon thats real going into this is that the morgans are siblings. no canon second parents which means no chrom!inigo or anything like that they all have single moms or whatever idk not important but just clarifying none of that is impacting their placements because i dont want to think about that

black eagle placements were the most fun because the fun thing about that route is that it splits into two more! one thing thats always bothered me is that when that route splits, the only thing that changes is that you either lose edelgard or hubert or you lose flayn. are you really telling me those are the only three students with enough free will to not let byleth pick the rest of their life for them? ferdinand would NOT go to the church i dont care!!! this is something they fixed (kind of) in warriors but in general when picking the black eagles i wanted to keep that in mind too

so kjelle was the first character i looked at and went “i know where you go.” i think she looks at edelgard and goes “you are everything i want to be and more” because what edelgard fights for and how she accomplishes it. kjelle is a very “the strong must protect the weak by any means necessary” which is kind of harsh when its presented to the player in awakening but it is literally edelgard’s whole philosophy. and kjelle is very egotistical (not hate i love her ass so much underrated fav!!) she thinks incredibly highly of herself so for her to bow down to anyone they would have to 1) echo her ideals and 2) be stronger than her. sorry shes never bending the knee to dimitri and claude i dont give a fuck she doesnt like those men. i think she’d understand edelgard’s idea of putting power in human hands and fully commit to the ends justify the means. this isnt really a gameplay rewrite thing im trying to do but if byleth picked the church she would leave. also… please. please please consider edelkjelle… okay guys… for me……..

on the opposite side nah was my second immediate “ohh i know what im doing with you” and its because if byleth picks edelgard, shes out!! granted, i could just put her with lions or deer but how is that fun. its not. nah, being a manakete, would probably be much more understanding of rhea and willing to reach out. being a manakete is probably a pretty isolating experience for her, ylisse or fodlan or otherwise, so i think her finding solace with rhea and flayn and seteth during her time at the academy would allow her to get closer to people more like her, and understand on some level why rhea is the way she is and why governs the way she does. though, still being housemates, she’d befriend edelgard and i think she’d admire edelgard’s conviction and maturity during the academy arc. but when edelgard betrays the church i think she’d take that very hard, and i dont think anything edelgard would say to her would get her to turn on what is basically the family she never got to have (theres also second gen angst potential in here somewhere…)

inigo was interesting to think about and i did almost saddle him in with golden deer but i like the potential of him with edelgard a lot more when i really sat down and thought about it. im pulling more from his characterization as laslow i think but at first i wasn’t really sure if i had a case for him picking between the empire and the church but i decided to go with the empire because i do think in the time he has with edelgard, he’d be a voice of reason for her (to hubert’s dismay). edelgard’s problem is that she has literally no outsider pov and is going based on her own sense of justice that, while its based in good intentions, has a lot of unintended consequences and failure to acknowledge how it impacts everyone else. i think inigo could take a unique role, similar to ferdinand (or lorenz to claude, felix to dimitri) in that he challenges edelgard but on a much more friendlier level. the thing about how that role normally plays out is that its formed on some personal grievance rather than genuine better interest of the people, and i think of all the lords, edelgard needs a friend the most (its why shes so attached to byleth???). and just looking at how hes able to handle xander in fates and how much more introspective he becomes, i think it’d play out similarly here. also i think with the forces of him and dorothea combined they would give ferdinand the worst bisexual panic of his life. ik i mentioned felix/inigo WHICH I STILL LIKE but imagine the layer of angst if they are on opposing sides… ok thanks

was on the fence about gerome until beloved mutual (hi woocy :3) convinced me he would be beagle and im completely down with that. for me, i struck out blue lions immediately. so after that its just a matter of do i think he fits in better with BE or GD and quite honestly. for some reason golden deer gets the rep of being the meme house but aside from lorenz looking a little funny anf claude putting up a facade YOU ALL FELL FOR this straight up is not true. the funny house is black eagles and by GOD it would piss gerome off to be there. i dont think they chose their houses, by the way. i think they got to fodlan and rhea vibe checked all of them immediately so he didnt have a say in this. not only is he stuck with inigo, hes stuck with watching kjelle—the strongest warrior ever probably the only one in the second to match him in terms of raw strength—stumble over herself over their house leader because wwaauuw women pretty LIKE COME ONNNN. though, i do think he’d respect edelgard for her strength, and theres a lot of interesting dynamics for him to explore. dorothea pissing him off, bonding with petra over their enjoyment for wildlife, he would definitely be training partners with caspar, and i think he’d actually be like. really good at talking to bernadetta? maybe seeing her reminds him of how he was when he was younger. maybe he gets her out by introducing her to minerva. much to think about. but in general he would keep mostly to himself with standard gerome “cant get close to people that i cant guarantee will stay with me” fashion i think he probably wouldnt be as close as say someone like inigo or nah would be with the house. so when the time to choose a side comes… i dont think he’d have the relationship with edelgard to pick her. i think he would oppose her ideals, and go with nah, if not flee fodlan entirely because omfg who careeesss…. WHO CAREEESS his ass is in wyvern valley (no i think he’d fight. but he’d def consider dipping)

m!morgan is here because i think it would challenge him. guy who is so cute so earnest so ready to be happy in school learning everything hes ever wanted hoping to come home and make momma proud and oh my god he got put in the most crazy house imaginable. whoever his professor is is probably like wow morgan you have a gift for tactics! why dont you try managing the class for a mission? and being morgan he’d go YES ABSOLUTELY!!! unfortunately this house has hubert. and ferdinand. and bernadetta. and linhardt. and caspar. the thing about robin and the shepherds is that most people immediately respected robin as their tactician and robin was able to connect and befriend most of them fairly easily because they were mostly all sane and normal people. the black eagles are most definitely not and have you guys seen that black eagles seating chart post? well. i just think it’d give morgan a hard time and between him and f!morgan its funnier if its him. also splitting him from the justice cabal for timeskip angst sorry. also i think it’d be cool if he took edelgards side. i dont actually know which way he’d lean thats a tossup like this is a character that i could believe would trust byleth’s judgement and go with them but if its edelgard i think that could set up fun conflict between him and nah. grima vs naga part 2!! though i actually did have him for blue lions first if only because of the three houses the blue lions probably need a tactician type the best but. i like this one better.

so for blue lions i immediately clocked owain like look at this guy. i think owain would see the house of cool knightly chivalrous types fighting for justice and being cool and having swords and i just think he’d be in heaven. i also think, to him, dimitri would be a figure to look up to similar to lucina, but with the difference that they are not family and owain might put him on an even higher pedestal because theres this sense of familiarity he had with lucina thats not really there anymore? kind of similar to ashe and dimitri. and when the timeskip comes, i think he’d be endlessly devoted to dimitri even still, never forgetting who he was before and striving to bring him back, still thinking of this idolized version of him, even if it puts himself at risk. i also think in general, owain would thrive in the blue lions house. felix, ashe, ingrid, dedue, annette— those are all prime support partners for him that have a lot of potential. the blue lion house is very… the way that they are. and something owain shows in fates is that though hes very good at using his theatrics to ease people, whether that be on purpose or otherwise, and by god do the blue lions need it. look at them… jesus.

cynthia is in the blue lion house for similar reasons but i think she has a key difference from owain. while i think owain is the type to go down with the ship, i think cynthia might actually serve as an opposition to dimitri and potentially go against him in a similar fashion to felix and annette in thats hidden in the games files and was never put in the game (WHEN IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN. dimitri doesnt get enough push back in azure moon!! another post for another time though). in their time at the academy, while owain is fangirling over dimitri, i think cynthia would too at first. but fodlan is very different than ylisse, and in particular faerghus treats its knights and specifically women knights very differently than cynthia wouldve otherwise been treated. i think this would push cynthia into questioning faerghus’s ideals (especially in getting close to ingrid who im sure she’d find friendship in) and eventually dimitri in how he seemingly upholds those ideals. when he goes down a darker path in the timeskip, she’d probably take felix’s more critical approach, and i think she could turn on him. for the empire? probably not. but i dont think she’d be as down as owain or ingrid to keep following him when hes not taking accountability for what hes doing. she might find her way back once hes come back to himself but who really knows. not me (<- girl who is writing all of this)

yarnes a funny pick because lions are supposed to be brave and fearless and hes a Rabbit. but obviously yarne would be very aware of that irony and i think it could serve as a push for him to come into that bravery, and thats something i think the lion house could help him do. i think he’d look to dimitri for solace similar to how he does with lucina, and dimitri would be very happy to provide that for him. when the timeskip comes and dimitri is lost, i think yarne would have to find it in himself to abandon that anxiety for a bit to come help ease dimitri, sort of repaying him for his initial kindness (read: i want eyepatch scary dimitri to find stress relief in petting a big ass bunny). also i dont need yarne to be in the same house as petra and marianne for him to interact with them. dont worry thats a thing. also if youre a real one you recruit marianne to blue lions everytime. no i dont know how they’d handle bringing a taguel to fodlan i dont really care either

for severa i think, even if she would rather not admit it, justice and loyalty are very key parts of her character. its buried underneath her mean girl attitude and like five pounds of trauma but its there. and what are the blue lions if not loyal knights with very LOUD auras of sadness? she would be similar to felix in terms of their views on knighthood, and obviously her whole thing with cordelia would put her at odds with the whole dying for your king/for glory thing faerghus has going on. similar to cynthia she’d be very critical of faerghus and dimitri except she’d be that way to his face. she doesnt have the same personal beef with him the same way felix would, and might be a little more like how i imagined inigo would be to edelgard, criticism with the better interest of the greater good rather than formed of personal beef. in the end though, i think she would stick with dimitri. also i think she’d have insane sexual tension with ingrid like i dont think theyd like eachother but like. my vision… do you see it.

bradys in lions partially due to mutual influence (hi zorua) but also because i ended up liking his potential with the lions as opposed to the deer or eagles. he’d have a very cute friendship with mercedes and annette i think, playing violin for them and having tea party gossip sessions. i think he and dedue could bond over being kinda scary but doing what they can to ease people’s fear of them. since thats an insecurity for both of them that brady purposefully takes steps to get rid of (ex: him hunching over is so that he can be eye level with children and people shorter with them so as not to come off as intimidating or more powerful) i think brady could help with that. though if im being so real i dont think he would like dimitri. i think he would stay and stick around and help dimitri get better. but i dont think he’d approve of his bloodlust and be very open with his issues in regards to how dimitri handles and carries himself. sorry guys im not meaning to have dimitri catch so many strays here 😭 i love the guy i just also like when theres conflict here i promise

laurent is in the golden deer because i think he and claude would be very like minded people in terms of trying to discover the secrets behind fodlan and what that means and how to better navigate fodlan as uncharted territory. theyre both foreigners, as are all of the second gen kids, but thats something claude keeps under wraps that i think laurent would be able to tell very quickly (not that it was hard. claude doesnt hide it well its just that everyone in fodlan is either stupid or all the smart people are kept away from him) that claude is from almyra. i think this knowledge could help him serve as something of a confidant to claude. obviously he wouldnt tell laurent everything but when claudes supposed closest allies are lorenz (guy who hates him and prays for his downfall) and hilda (girl who is racist and from a racist family) its just like. well maybe claude should have another friend who is normal adjacent at least, and laurents not the type to go blabbing anyways. obviously both lorenz and hilda (eh. well.) get better about their mindsets post timeskip but i think in the time of the academy laurent would be a very valuable friend for claude and vice versa. in general laurent would do well anywhere because i think most of his interest would be with the technological and scientific advancements of fodlan which is flexible, but i think, with rhea purposefully halting progress and claude being the main guy who wants truth above all else, this is the best spot for him. could hear an argument for him going to edelgard (potential recruit out of house recruit fs) but i do like him with claude a bit more. gerolau angst also.

lucina is in golden deer because i dont want her in the other two houses but also because i do think, similar to laurent, she’d be very valuable to claude and vice versa. awakening world building is horseshit but from what little we do know there is quite a bit of political discourse that lucina probably knows quite a bit about. even if her timeline was thrown into war when she was young, she probably had some form of royal training and can help claude navigate fodlan a little bit. i also think coming to fodlan would just be a very refreshing experience for lucina as the burden of everything is no longer directly on her shoulders, and i think she’d be looking for a broader perspective on life and finding another purpose for herself now that grima is dealt with. i think claude would be able to help her with that and i think she’d be genuinely interested to learn of his homeland once she figures out where hes from (i do think laurent beats her to the conclusion but not by a lot. remember this is lucina aka marth aka woman her disguised her own royal status and was very successful at it. just saying). also while i did say that golden deer is in fact not the meme house, i think they are more light hearted overall in terms of character (does NOT mean meme house or funny house. look me right in my eyes and say the house WITHOUT hubert and linhardt is the meme house. fucking liar) and i think lucina would love that. i want her to get the chance to be silly and childish for a little bit. characters like raphael and marianne and lysithea might help her heal that inner child that she never really got to let out and i just think the golden deer house would be the best place for her

morgan is here because i didnt want her and marc in the same house thats too easy. but while i think claude is the least in need of a tactician type character, him and morgan would be sooooo funny so cute and i need someone who can keep him on his toes. i think he blurts out a plan and morgan goes “ermmm ackchully” and half of the time her rebuttals are complete nonsense she just wants to argue. i think they both enjoy it. i also think, similar to lucina, a light hearted house would be a little better for her. shes much more prone to mischief than m!morgan is i think and i think the deer would benefit from that if only so she can target lorenz and make me laugh. i also think separating the twins would make for fantastic angst down in the timeskip but for now shes just hanging out having fun being a piece of shit. #girl also i think its funnier if one morgan is absolutely thriving and the other is barely keeping his shit together and by god it is way funnier if its f!morgan getting away with everything

noire is here because. i. could not think of a reason for her to go anywhere else! i thought about putting her in beagles but i dont think making that choice between the church and edelgard would be as interesting for her? and i dont think putting her in lions would do anything for her. i think the best lord and the best house at helping her through her issues and being understanding of her mood changes is probably claude and the deer. i could see hilda and leonie reaching out to her, or ignatz and her getting on pretty well, but im not quite sure on the specifics of that. my least thought out placement but also it doesnt matter because it keeps the placements balanced to put her here. i’ll have to give this one more thought…

anyways if you can believe it this is the cutdown version. i know right. i hope i didnt forget anyone that would be really embarrassing

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 13)

The last chapter is here everyone! In honor of pride month, I give you this. This amazing chapter that is easily one of my favorites to write. I hope you all enjoy! I promise these two won’t be gone for forever though :D

Word Count: 3.6k

CW: None!

———13———

Four Months Later

———Nathan———

I stared up at the stadium lights above while the school principal and superintendent were talking to the many parents sitting in the stands. I wasn’t paying attention to what they were saying. Something about our class and graduation. I didn’t care all too much. Only that I could go home after this and wake up the next morning without having to worry about school ever again. 

Ryker kept me cupped in his hands much like the other people sitting beside him were, waiting until we could get up and receive the piece of paper that officially states that we’ve graduated high school. As soon as the many, many speeches were done, they finally started letting the rows in front of us stand up and walk up the steps to the removable platform. 

And soon enough, it was our rows turn, walking in a single line, and getting handed the piece of paper. I held mine close, smiling the entire way back to our chairs. I did it, mom. All of this was for her and dad in the first place. Though, I would’ve never seen today if it weren’t for Ryker. 

We moved the strings attached to our caps to the left while everyone started cheering loudly. I had to cover my ears while I laughed and looked back up to Ryker, who was laughing and waving to his siblings that were in the stands. Today was a great day. And a sad one. Tomorrow I would wake up the next morning and have no one to talk to. But that was okay. I shouldn’t bother Ryker anymore. No matter how many times he’s made me laugh even after my mother passed away. No matter how many times he’s given me almost exactly what I’ve needed for so long, I knew today would be the last day I would get to talk to him. 

Everyone had started to head home while Ryker met up with his siblings, getting hugged and congratulated. I did too, just minus the hugging part. It was hard to have a smile on today since my mom was supposed to be here, but I did anyways. I just hoped she was looking at me right now. 

“So I’ll see you at home in a few?” Jasmine asked, taking Isabelle’s hand and giving me a teasing side eye. Apparently everyone alone with her was worried about me after what had happened and just tried their best to help me out. They knew what it was like. And now, Jasmine doesn’t glare at me anymore or give me empty threats. If anything, she’s the complete opposite of what I first thought of her. We’ve become pretty good friends. 

“Yeah.” Ryker replied, waving them off while walking back into the school and letting me slide off his hand. What was he doing? 

“Hey, um, wanna just change back into your clothes? I’ll take you back after.” Ryker told me as I nodded, heading into the nearby restrooms to take off the black gown and fold it neatly into the cap. I sighed, getting ready to say goodbye to him in just a few minutes before he drops me off at the bus stop. 

I walked back out, seeing that he had already folded his clothes nicely and put on his signature hoodie. I climbed back onto his waiting hand as he grinned. That was… interesting. What was happening? I didn’t know, but I just carried on, still saddened by the thought of saying goodbye. 

We walked outside the school, walking down the sidewalk, but not taking the turn to the bus stop he usually does. I looked up at him worriedly, “The bus stops over… there.” I pointed back to the street as he just innocently smiled at me. Oh. Where was he taking me then? I wasn’t too worried honestly, but still. I wanted to know. 

After about a silent ten minute walk with no sound except the crickets and faint cars in the distance, we had arrived at the same coffee place he had taken me to months before. Didn’t he say he works here? 

“I thought you were taking me back home.” I told him, confusion lining my voice. He shook his head, “I said I’d take you back after. I never said after what.”  

There was a loop hole? Why were we even at this coffee shop in the first place? I couldn’t exactly argue with him, and I didn’t exactly mind it either. It just means I get a few extra minutes before leaving. How could I argue with time? I didn’t know whether to like the fact my heart was beating faster and faster, or to hate it. All I did know was that I was excited because he wanted to spend the last few minutes of the night with me. 

We sat down at the exact same table when we had first came here. There were a few people, some even talking with the workers. I sat down at the human-sized table on top, facing Ryker while he scooted all the way down. I bit the side of my cheek as a woman with the cafe logo on her work outfit came with a notepad. Ryker laughed and greeted her like they were best friends while I didn’t pay attention all too much. I guess Ryker noticed and ordered for me. He knew what I liked anyways. 

“Everything okay?” Ryker asked, his smile slowly falling as he lowered his head to get a better look at me. To be honest, not really, but I wasn’t going to let him worry about me anymore. Again, I can’t keep leaning on people. 

“Yeah,” I nodded my head, “What are we doing here anyways?” My voice came out a little mumbled, but Ryker heard it all the same.

“Graduation present. For the both of us I guess.” Ryker shrugged his shoulders, but I could tell he was hiding something else. I had no idea, but I guess I’ll figure it out. Plus, I didn’t even think about bringing a present for him. Was I supposed to? No, no time to feel guilty. 

The lady came back around again, handing us our drinks and telling Ryker that she’ll see him tomorrow night for work while he laughed and nodded. I don’t know why I felt so insecure right now, but I just did. Instead of dwelling on that, I took a sip of my hot chocolate and stared out the small window next to us covered by fake vines and flowers. I wish I had more time… 

“Nathan?” 

I jumped at the mention of my name, nearly spilling some of my drink on me. Ryker chuckled softly above, a slightly sad smile on his face. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? You’re jumpier than usual.” His free hand cupped behind me, but never touched. What was he trying to do? I have zero idea, but I shouldn’t waste what little time I had. I didn’t want him to leave. But I knew he would anyways. Maybe it would be a good thing if he does? No, no it will not. It really wouldn’t be. 

“Yeah, I promise. I’m just a little tired.” I shrugged it off, taking another small sip. Ryker did the same, looking outside the small window. I sighed, internally crying while watching a few people walk on the sidewalk outside. Didn’t Ryker have to get home? It was already about to be ten, and we were getting drinks and sitting down together. Shouldn’t he be with his family? He just graduated too. 

“What are you gonna do now that we’re out of high school?” Ryker asked, setting his cup down and resting his head on his crossed arms in front of me. I fidgeted a little before sighing and shrugging my shoulders, “I didn’t h-have a plan. Just get a job and hope for the best?” I nervously laughed. 

“What about you?” I asked, seeing him think about his answer. 

“Watch my siblings? I, um, can’t exactly go to college if I still have to watch over everyone.” Ryker laughed sadly. My heart sank. That’s not exactly fair. I think he deserves to go to college if he wants to. If I could I would help him, but I already know he wouldn’t let me. He’ll be leaving soon anyways. I’ll just be another name he remembers after today. 

“I-I think you should.” I cheered him on while he blinked a couple of times, laughing along with me. 

“Thank you, but It’ll be hard if I go. I can’t keep up with everything all the time.” Ryker replied, trying to hide the sadness in his voice. My heart throbbed. If only I could help. But I was just small. I mean, I can’t even get around their house anymore without any help. What makes me think I can handle taking care of five other kids while Ryker was focusing on college? I breathed out a shaky breath, my slightly trembling hands reaching for the little mug filled with hot chocolate. Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes before all of this goes away.

It stayed silent for a while. Be both had finished our drinks, there were only three other people here besides us to in the café. I didn’t want to leave. I did all of this for my parents, and now it’s going away. I made friends, I graduated, heck, I’m not even that scared of giants anymore. Well, maybe a little, but I was more talking about Ryker and his siblings. But I did all of this for them because they wanted me to live a normal life, and yet, I still can’t. What do I do? 

“Nathan, are you sure you’re okay?” Ryker asked again, pushing his cup to the edge of the table. 

“Mhm.” I nodded my head, doing the same as him and trying my best to keep the smile on my face going. 

“Would you mind if I take you to one more place? It’s like a five minute walk from here.” Ryker asked, a slightly worried expression on his face. I shook my head, standing up out of my seat and waiting for Ryker to do the same. I climbed onto his waiting hand, sitting in the middle just as usual while I tried not to look down at the terrifying drop below me. I sighed, bringing my knees closer to my chest and burying my head. Did it really have to end? 

——————

The walk was short just as he had said. It was a tiny park. It looked sort of abandoned. The grass looked like it hadn’t been cut for a while, there were some short vines latching onto the poles of the swing set and little parts of the slide. The lights were dim here, but it felt nice. The slight breeze that just barely ruffled my hair, how quiet this place was. How come no one fixes this place up? I feel like more people would come here if it looked a little nicer. 

“I know it’s nothing special, but my parents used to bring me and my siblings here almost everyday after school,” He breathed, crossing his legs while sitting on a nearby bench, “It doesn’t look perfect, but it still has some great memories.” 

I looked up, seeing how he smiled while looking at the park that was now covered in overgrown plants. My face heated up as I caught myself staring, turning back around and studying the sight. It doesn’t look bad at all. I liked it here. I liked everywhere Ryker has taken me. To that café, the little store that we went to just a few weeks ago, here. I sucked in a shaky breath, wiping away the loose tears that fell down my cheeks. I won’t get this feeling anymore…

“Ryker…” I tried my hardest to say it without him catching on that I was holding back tears, but of course he knew. He always did anyways. 

“What’s wrong?” He held me a little closer to his face. I just shook my head, making sure he wouldn’t be able to see the water in my eyes. What was wrong with me? Why was I even crying? 

I shook my head, biting the bottom of my lip. Why did he bring me here? Why did I say yes to this even? Why was I holding back my tears? I’ve tried preparing myself for months. I knew he was going to leave, and I’ve accepted that fact. So why was it so hard to believe it? 

Ryker cupped his hand a little more. I didn’t know what he was doing, but I don’t care. I was going to cherish what little time I had left with him. He’s given me these happy feelings I haven’t felt in such a long time. The memories. Why did it all have to be stripped away from me again? 

“Hey now, it’s alright, it’s alright. What’s going on?” Ryker tried comforting, a bit of a worried expression on his face. A couple tears fell down my face as I prepared my question that I needed an answer to. 

“A-are you, um, g-going to l-leave me?” 

A few second of silence was thrown between us as my heart threatened to jump right out of my chest. Ryker blinked a couple times before a soft smile appeared on his face, “What makes you think that?” 

My heart was beating faster. Was that a yes or a no? I couldn’t tell. I brought my knees closer to my chest as I searched for my response. I was terrified. Not of Ryker, but of what the answer to this question. But my mind was already set on his answer, and I knew it could be entirely true. 

“B-because I’m… me? I-I’m small and insignificant to you. Y-you don’t need me.” I buried my head again, covering my head with one of my arms and listening for his response. I didn’t want to look. I didn’t want to hear the words. Could I reverse time? Change everything that I’ve done to get to this point? Maybe then this wouldn’t be so hard. 

“I don’t remember saying any of that,” Ryker held me a little closer, “Nathan, little guy, it’s okay. I promise I don’t think anything like that of you. I’m not leaving, okay?” 

My heart stopped beating for a second as I peeked out, seeing his trademark smile. He meant it. He really did. I wiped away my loose tears, a nervous smile on my face. Now I was embarrassed. This was dumb. I was just being dumb. I thought I was getting the hang of controlling my thoughts, but apparently not. But still, my heart was beating fast. I was relieved at his answer. 

“Well now I f-feel stupid.” I softly laughed, facing him while on my knees. I stared down at his palm, trying to calm my own heartbeat down. It wasn’t really working, but Ryker was just as patient with me as he always has been. 

“It’s not stupid. I get it. A lot of people leave after they graduate. It’s fine.” Ryker explained, sighing and leaning back into the bench we were both on. I did the same, still wondering what we were doing here. My heart was still beating fast, but I finally had my answer, and that’s all I needed. Nothing else. I wouldn’t be alone anymore. Or at least for now. 

“Nathan, could you turn around real quick?” Ryker had asked, fixing his position a bit. I did as he asked, almost immediately met with his lips softly being pressed against me. I fell on my back from the slight push, my cheeks flushing a bright red and my heart somehow beating faster than before. It was over before I knew it as I quickly sat back up, my body a little shaky as my hand went through some of my hair, a little surprised at the gesture. Did Ryker just kiss me?

My cheeks flushed a deep red, seeing Ryker a little worried but also blushing just as much as I was, “S-sorry, I-I’ve never… kissed a human. I-I, um, didn’t hurt you, right?” 

A little squeak came out of my mouth. He kissed me. What do I do? Does that mean he likes me? I’m so confused. I mean I liked him. A lot. Am I mistaking my feelings for friendship? If that were true then why was my heart beating right out of my chest? Why was I blushing this much? I’ve never felt like this with anyone in my entire life. All I knew was that kiss was probably the best thing I’ve experienced in my entire life. 

“N-no.” My voice came out like a whisper as I tried my best to stand up on wobbly legs on his hand. I bit the side of my cheek  wondering if this was the right move, but all I knew was that this is what I wanted. All along. The way my heart would flip every time he said my name, or the way he would smile at me and his siblings. I was just so confused about it. 

Ryker was confused at what I was trying to do before I stood on my toes, trying to return the gesture, even if he can’t feel it. He lowered his face as I planted a short kiss on his lips the same he did to me, hoping he would get it. My legs gave out on me as I backed away, seeing Ryker bite the bottom of his lip soon after he felt me back away. 

I couldn’t think of anything else. Did he even know? Instead, a happy smile formed on his face as I tried to hold back a little laugh. I can’t believe we just did that. I can’t believe that this was even happening. This could all be some happy dream I’m having, but I knew it wasn’t. It felt real.

“I’m not… dreaming, right?” Ryker had asked, his face still a flush of red that was slowly going down. I shook my head, my heart beating amazingly fast. Good to know I wasn’t the only one who thought they were dreaming. But what do we do now? I’ve never been like this before. 

“Do you want to go to your house now?” Ryker had asked, pursing his lips as he planted his shoes on the ground, getting ready to go. No. I didn’t want to go to my house anymore. 

“Y-yours?” I smiled, in hoped that he’ll say yes. He laughed and nodded, taking the sidewalk back to his house. 

——————

The lights were off in his house as he quietly walked to his room. He placed me down on his nightstand where all of my makeshift stuff was. He never threw them away. Just for me. What are we now? Are we still friends? I don’t even know how this works. 

Ryker took off his hoodie, put on different shirt before turning on his lamp on his desk and turning off his lights. I stayed where I was at, wondering what I do now. I’ve never been in a relationship before. I don’t know how these things work. I don’t even know what to do. Was that bad? 

“Are you tired?” Ryker asked, sitting down on his bed while moving the covers and pillows to the way he likes. I shook my head, I wasn’t really, no. Not after what had just happened a few minutes ago. I was still a little confused, but at the same time happy. He really wasn’t going to leave me. 

“Well, I’m not really either.” Ryker laughed, bringing two fingers up to the part of his lower lips that I had kissed. Or at least tried to. I blushed a little. Was that bad? 

I climbed onto Ryker’s offered palm as he sat up against the head of his bed. I was covered by one of his hands like a blanket while also laying on his chest. Oh my heart will never get a break today- But I wasn’t saying that it was bad. If anything, today was the best day of my life. Nothing could change that. 

“Comfy?” Ryker laughed as I listened to his heartbeat, controlled and normal unlike my own. I didn’t know how to deal with any of this. I just snuggled up closer, hoping that it was fine. I was guessing it was when Ryker slid down, his head now resting on a pillow and his legs bent. Who knew that about a year ago I would have thought this was crazy to even think about doing, and yet, here I was. I was actually happy.

“You wouldn’t mind if I moved you, right?” Ryker had asked a hint of worry in his voice. 

“No.” I answered, getting in a better position for him to move me in. I would move myself if I had known where he wanted me, but anything that I was thinking of was not what he was thinking. And it only made my brain fry for just a few seconds. 

He lightly pinched me between two fingers, giving me another lighter kiss that practically covered my entire body before laying me back down. He laughed while I laid there, brain fried and flustered. I giggled a bit, snuggling closer and shutting my eyes. I’m glad to know that he likes me the same way I like him. 

Maybe I don’t wish to reverse time after all. 

——————

*Starts crying uncontrollably*

Thank you to everyone who’s read through all 13 chapters and stuck with me for so long! I appreciate every single one of you❤️

My first story is done though! Just in time for pride month too if you know what I mean :D Don’t worry, because I will definitely write some little scenes with these two in the future. How could I just throw these two away? NEVER.

Thank you everyone for reading, and I hope you enjoy whatever the next story will be. (I totally don’t already have characters and done some world building-) But thank you everyone!

Taglist: @da3dm

[atomicpinks]

sincerely hope endo-sensei keeps up the slow plot and doesn't rush it

[her-canine-teeth]

if orpheus & eurydice was a coin. the jackieshauna is the other side

[meimeikyu]

probably will be mostly posting non utmv related stuff for the next few days 👍

(rant in tags)

[doodlesdreaming]

*mentally rocking back and forth because I desperately want to watch the final episode of the Dead Cells show, but I have to wait a whole week...*

[moongothic]

God I wish I could remember what Oda once said about mothers in One Piece... I can't remember if it was about Luffy's mother in particular or moms in general, but he essentially joked about how you'd have to be A Really Horrible Mother to allow your child to go off and become a pirate (dangerous business no loving mother would allow)

And just... My vague memory of that comment is living in my head right now, because truly, if Crocodile somehow is Luffy's mom, truly nothing would make him a worse mom than

Literally trying to murder his child and beating him to near death multiple times the first time they actually meet

Going so far to stop being a mom that he became a dad instead

[amaru-sage]

Probably predictable af/everyone has thought of this but I get the feeling that the final FINAL boss of FEH is gonna be that Alfaðör dude

[river-muse]

I have been on a drawing binge for NASNAH the past few days in my free time and I'm cursed because all of it is spoilers so I can't share any of it.

[fionnaskyborn]

pros of learning how to play fighting game:

undergoing a learning experience, trying out something entirely different from anything i have previously played

i get to look at a little guy do cool things on my screen :)

cons of learning how to play fighting game:

i am clumsy as all hell with the inputs

the order in which you press and/or hold buttons to create inputs is less like trying to get a sequence of movements right and more like playing a rhythm game (down then while not letting go of down press forward then let go of down and THEN press an attack button on the other side of the keyboard). i suck at rhythm games. hell world

sometimes, the damn things just... won't register? at all? you do a half circle to forward input and the game says "half circle forward? oh, sorry, that's ensenga :)" or, worse, "too slow, that's a regular heavy slash move :)". brother. why must you do me like this.

the area between the knuckles of my ring and little finger hurts like a motherfucker (though this has hurt in various areas since at least this morning, but i'm willing to bet that practicing quarter and half circle inputs for at least an hour did not make the situation any better)

[meat-pvppet]

had these concepts brewing in my head for a while cuz i wanted rivers to have a son and thought “hey what if he had an ex-wife too”

[laugtherhyena]

Csm thoughts,,

[mars-ipan]

i am entering a point of good omens hyperfixation where i am actively starting to choke on the amount of content i am consuming but i Will Not Stop

[pagesofkenna]

'and thats why The Last Of Us is the most beautiful story told in all of video games'

i mean like. i get it. but also sometimes its incredibly obvious that you guys have only ever played murder games