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stucknthemiddleff · 4 months

Text

Jealousy 1.18

Put It Up - Chris Brown Ft. Rihanna

Advice - Kehlani

See Through - Chris Brown

Rock Bottom - Pleasure P Ft. Lil Wayne

Kiss It Better - Rihanna

Stuck N The Middle

July•

Dana

The sun sat perfectly on the horizon of the ocean, all the while everyone sat on the deck just enjoying the view. The light warm winds were perfect all day. Music played from the radio adding to the calming vibe. I got a tan, as so did Cari seeing her bikini line when she moved it a bit off her shoulder.

The turkey bacon sandwiches Cassie had made for lunch were the most delicious I had ever had. It mentally made me note on why Cari was such a good cook. She may not have always got along with her mother, but she picked up a good few traits.

Cooper and Cari played cards with Clay and it seemed every moment Calen got a chance, he eye raped me in only the cover up showing my bikini.

The funny thing is he did it so trained, like he's done it before. It had to be one of his secrets of using those seducing brown piercing eyes of his. My libido was on one hundred percent because of his lustful stares.

"So Dana, do you date like Cari here that I didn't even know had a boyfriend." Cassie spoke up making the comfortable vibe shift a bit.

"Um, yes I-"

"Calen, why can't you keep your big ass mouth shut?" Cari yelled over the wind that picked up a bit on the boat.

"Man, you the one acting like she wasn't going to find out anyways. Should of brought the nigga." Calen laughed making Cooper join in.

"Yo, stop talking about my nigga like that, he cool." Cooper tried defending Bryson. I just shook my head since I still hadn't been able to answer Cassie's question.

"Can y'all please stop saying that derogatory language please." Cassie asked looking over at Calen and Cooper. With with a smile she looked back my way waiting for her answer.

"To answer your question Cassie, yeah I do. Women." I answered honestly, feeling Calen's eyes grill me all humor gone.

"Oh alright, I don't discriminate with that. Just as long as you let me know you're trying to date my daughter or not." Cassie laughed.

"Oh no, Cari and I are like sisters." I smiled, even though I've thought about it in the past. That is until Calen Rodriguez sat next to me in a club one night.

"More like your son." Calen muttered making my heart drop. Cari snickered.

"What was that Calen?" Cassie asked from across the boat.

"Nothing, I'm just talking to myself." He blinked his squinty eyes at me, letting me know he was high and trying to be an ass.

"Well, we should be heading back before it gets too dark. I am wore out." Clay announced standing to his feet.

"Yeah, I'll go up with you babe." Cassie offered standing with him, they departed to the upper deck.

Cari and Cooper seized playing cards, while Calen took something white from behind his ear. Taking a little black lighter out of his shorts pocket, he lit the spliff taking a pull.

It never amazed me more with anyone else than it did when he smoked, he made it look so sexy. Catching me stare at him, he turned his head to the side winking at me.

Fighting the smile that wanted to come upon my lips I stood with Cari, needing to get as far from him as I could on this boat.

"Ready to change out of these bathing suits?" She asked while I nodded. We went down to the lower deck, I entered into the room where I had left my clothes earlier. Slowly I changed back into my white shirt and black shorts that stopped at the space of my upper thighs.

Pulling my hair into a messy bun, I couldn't wait to take a shower. Opening the door again, I was glad that Calen wasn't surprisingly standing outside the room waiting for me like earlier.

I could feel the boat starting to move again, letting me know we were going back to land. My first boat experience wasn't all that bad and I wouldn't mind doing it again. Mostly because I knew how to swim thanks to Calen now.

It infatuated me at how many firsts I had experienced with him that I never thought I would. Somewhere inside me, I knew there would be more. But before there would be, I needed to tell him and ask of my curiousness on what took place while we were apart.

It mattered to me, and if he was done with lying about something that should be small, he would have no problem with telling me. Thinking about him holding that gun still made me shiver.

Staying quiet would be done, as much as I wanted him. He still needed to know how much of a wreck he made me. I couldn't just forget the pain, it was still there.

Once docked everyone started taking things back to the house, I being last out the cabin behind Cari I grabbed my book bag. My arm was pulled instantly back into the cabin once everyone was off.

It was Calen.

"There's lights that lead to the guesthouse on the sand, come tonight."

"I don't know." I sighed looking up at him, he did a small conniving smile stretching his freckles a bit exiting out the boat.

"Why?" He asked with urgency slowing his feet a little to walk alongside me to the house.

"Because we have things to discuss." I told him, my eyes darted over to see his reaction. Remaining silent he had a confused look on his face.

"Like what?" He finally asked, "We already talked."

"Calen for one-"

"I'm done with you rejecting me, I'm not about to be so lenient this time." He growled clenching his jaw, still keeping his eyes towards the house.

"Calen-"

"No, why you denying us, tell me?" He cut me off again, I walked a little slower becoming aggravated with him. Like what happened to respecting my wishes?

Following behind him, he stopped blocking the way inside the back patio doors.

"Calen." I groaned, irritated by how he was acting. I really wanted to shower and get the saltwater off my body.

"What?" He asked clad in a thin white t shirt, his tattooed torso could be seen through it. Leaning against the door frame he acted like he was picking something off his arm.

"Move." I ordered wide eyed at him.

"Make me." He challenged, I smirked at him seeing Cassie standing behind him with a look of disapproval on her face.

"Calen Antoine-Ruiz Rodriguez, stop being rude and go get the rest of the stuff off the boat." She ordered as he just looked at me with an evil grin moving to go back to the boat. What the hell was up with him?

"I am so sorry, he has his moments where he's-"

"Bipolar, yeah I know he....I mean Cari told me." I blinked catching myself. Cassie smiled with a small nod. That was close.

"Yeah." She did a soft chuckle, not noticing I was screaming on the inside.

"I'm going to go hit the shower, thank you again for a beautiful day Ms. Rodriguez." I smiled at her beginning to move my feet, knowing I needed to get away before something I said messed up everything.

"Please call me Cassie, Dana. Plus it was a pleasure to go out on the water today it has been some time." She rubbed my arm beginning to walk in the kitchen. Probably to get dinner started I noticed Cassie liked to cook like all her children weren't grown.

Giving her one last nod I made my way to the stairs. Back to the guest room I finally was actually comfortable to sleep in. It made me see with Cassie just how much she missed everyone being all home together again.

I couldn't bring my drama here with me between Calen and I when she was just so happy. He was being weird anyways, I wish he would just chill out. It's like my bikini turned him into the cocky arrogant guy I first met months ago.

"Hey, I'll be in my room so just come over when you finish." Cari popped her head in my door that I hadn't locked.

"Okay, yeah." I nodded at her and she stared at me up and down.

"Did you take the pill?" She asked me.

"Yes, I took it." I sighed looking away from her searching with my eyes and hands for my pajamas. Didn't matter, Calen still wasn't getting none as long as I wasn't alone with him. I honestly didn't know what guards he would make come down without question if we were alone.

"Good, even though I would love to be an auntie." She laughed at me, I could feel myself blushing.

"Cari!" I yelled at her as she shut the door back. Having a kid with Calen, it never dawned upon me. But we had a lot to work on before we even get to the point of creating life.

After showering, I put on a black tshirt and some matching pajama shorts. My phone that Cari let me borrow until I got another vibrated on the bed while I brushed out my hair a bit. Picking it up, I saw it was a text. I didn't even give him this number, I don't know how he had it.

Calen: You still coming tonight????? (Sat, 8:31PM)

Putting my phone back down, I decided to ignore him. All he wanted was some ass and I wanted answers. Until he would give me what I wanted he wasn't getting shit from me, not this time.

Exiting out the guest room I smelled food in the hall, but decided not to go downstairs without Cari. My stomach roared from the smell and couldn't wait to go eat. Going to Cari's room, I opened the door to see her fully naked sitting on her bed having a video chat with Bryson.

"Oh my gosh!" I yelled closing the door back, they were so nasty. Standing in the hall with my back against the door, I could hear Cari laughing and I just shook my head.

"Are you done?" I asked after somewhat five minutes had went by.

"I am now." She answered like she was more relieved. Goodness my best friend was a freak with her boyfriend. Opening the door again, she had a sports bra on and boy shorts.

"Why didn't you have your door locked?" I asked closing it back once I stepped all the way in her room.

"Everyone usually knocks in this house." She told me going into her closet, her laptop on her bed was closed thankfully.

"Wow, my bad then." I spoke sarcastically sitting on her bed.

"So tell me what's up with you and Calen. Y'all beefing?" She asked coming back in her room with a shirt on, some shorts in her hand.

"He just for some reason thinks everything is suppose to go back to normal, after half explaining why he just left." I told her watching while she put one leg in after the other in her shorts.

"So he didn't he give you a full explanation, because Dana you were like a fucking ghost for the past three months." She told me, being the only real eye witness of the depression Calen put me through.

"Yep, didn't get the whole thing." I told her.

"Well why the fuck did he just up and leave?" She asked me in annoyance. To protect you, and the rest of your family from my crazy ass ex, or so he says.

"Shit that he had no control of, came into his life and he just had to leave." I spoke with half truths. Cari would probably just think I was lying if I told her the truth. It was just something that was incomprehensible unless you saw the truth.

I knew Calen didn't want his sister or any of his family to know the danger he felt he put them in, all over loving me. Shit I didn't even want them to know.

"That's what he won't tell you, what the shit was?" She asked sitting on the bed with me.

"Yeah, part of it." I did a half smile looking down at her bed.

"Well, he shouldn't get nothing until he tells you all. I know you already know what to do, so I won't say no more." She shrugged her shoulders, I did a quick nod with a shrug.

Cari was so understanding, and she already half knew how her brother was so she could understand what I was going through with him. His mysteriousness and charm.

"Only thing I will say, is I can tell he still is in love with you so be careful." She warned me, "I've never seen an in-love-Calen, and he has it bad for you Dana."

"Thanks Car." I smiled at her, made me wonder if her mother noticed too.

"Anytime." She smiled back, "Sorry about the video chat thing."

"Let's just go eat and not even talk about that please." I laughed standing up off her bed, she followed suit.

"Okay." She laughed turning the lights off in her room, and we headed downstairs to eat. I was certain after all the shit I've been through, I could take Calen. I hoped.

Calen

Leaning up against the railing of the patio outside, I pulled from my blunt wondering what the fuck was taking her so long to respond back to my text. Letting the purple kush leave my lungs, I closed my eyes feeling so wound up.

I needed her touch, the smell of her on me, I wanted it all. No matter what I've done since being here the itch just wouldn't go away. Didn't know how much longer I could hold out.

"Calen, what did you do?" My mothers voice came from behind. Fuck.

"What are you talking about ma?" I asked not looking back towards her.

"I talked to Zeus." She told me.

"That's nice, how's my uncle doing?" I asked nonchalantly. Old ass just couldn't keep his mouth closed about our business.

"Calen, tell me what the fuck happened that you needed weaponry from my brother." She seethed, making me glad I was somewhat past my usual high.

"A problem, that I took care of." I told her, turning towards her she gave me a cold hard stare of ice, "Nothing for you to worry about."

"Bullshit, tell me right now." She demanded, "Who helped you take care of this problem?"

"Mother, everything is alright." I tried persuading her.

"Ahora mismo!" She screeched at me.

"Family, in New York." I huffed putting out my blunt, I was hungry and done talking about this.

"The Latin Kings, you're back with them now aren't you?" She asked me, heart break in her eyes, "They are not your family."

"No ma." I groaned in irritation, "Come on I'm hungry can we go eat?"

"They always want a debt repaid for something, yes you are!" She yelled while I walked past her, she grabbed my arm stopping me.

"I don't want to lose you to that fuckin' gang Calen." She told me in anger.

"You're not." I told her, pulling her into a hug she held me tightly. Closing my eyes, I didn't think she would let our talk the other day go. But honestly I didn't care about none of that shit right now.

When I eventually got back to the states I would have to link back up with Lupe. But for now my only focus was Dana, and I needed her. I went into the dirty of my past life to have her here with me, and I'll be damned if I let her slip through my fingers again.

She was the only link that would keep me from sinking back into that life, and she needed to know that. I just needed the chance to get her alone.

Dana

Everyone sat around the table in the kitchen eating burgers and hot dogs along with barbecued chicken that Clay put on his grill for dinner. It was all delicious, including the salad that Cassie prepared. I was glad she didn't have to do as much cooking.

The table was cherry every now and then, but the only non cherry part was Calen's absence from the table. No one spoke on it and I felt somewhat responsible. After dinner, Clay and Cassie said their goodnights.

Cari and I headed back into her room just to chill and probably watch a movie or something. There was a knock at her door before Cooper popped his head inside.

"See, Cooper knocked." Cari laughed and I gave her the middle finger.

"Nope, I have a boyfriend for that," She smirked at my hand, "He's just so far away." Cari complained in a whine laying on her side.

"Ew, um, if ma and dad ask I went out okay?" He muttered, having both of us sit up from his words.

"Where you going?" Cari asked, exactly the question in my mind. This nigga was trying to sneak off to probably go see a female.

"To a party, if y'all must know, and no y'all can't come." He told us, Cari scoffed at him.

"Bullshit we going nigga, where the hell the party even at?" She asked.

"The Hernandez estate." He huffed shaking his head.

"Wait, the twins are having their summer party tonite?" Cari asked. Twins?

"Cari, come on I'm already late." Cooper complained watching her get out of bed skipping to her closet.

"Cooper it is only ten thirty, you aren't missing shit." She yelled walking back out of her closet with an outfit she looked down at me, "You in the mood for partying?"

"It's been a while since I've had a-"

"It's settled we going!" She shouted, "Cooper don't you try and leave either or ma and pa will know you took the boat."

"Fuck man, this is why I don't tell y'all shit." He grumbled at us, and we laughed at him as he shut the bedroom door back.

"Let's get ready shall we?" She smiled pulling me up from my seat on the bed.

When Cari was talking about the boat I thought she meant the yacht but I was wrong, there was another small boat that we took. In the night it went fast down the coast. I wondered why they didn't tell Calen anything but he probably didn't want to go.

Coming to a small dock, it was the back of a huge, and I mean huge estate. Bodies danced back and forth while music blasted from speakers on the pool deck.

Some girls only walked around in bikinis while others were fully dressed. I was glad I kept it simple with my outfit. Cari took my hand leading me with Cooper in front deeper towards the house.

"Who are all these people?" I shouted to Cari over the music.

"Only the rich kids of the island that are somebody's really." She told me, her smile was an elite one. It dawned on me that the Rodriguez family must had a high reputation if Cooper was invited here.

"What's up nigga!" Cooper yelled embracing some guy who had pretty light brown eyes.

"Coop! Was good and I see you brought Cari, it's always good to see you hun." The pretty browned eyed guy spoke, then his eyes shifted to me.

"Yeah, they caught me before I could sneak away." Cooper muttered to the guy.

"Hello Chance, good to see you again. This is just my friend Dana." Cari introduced me to the tall skinny guy that must have been the host of the huge party.

"Pleasures all mine. Caliente." He spoke taking my right hand he kissed the back of it with warm lips.

"Um, yeah nice to meet you." I spoke with a light chuckle at him, slipping my hand out his grip.

"Oh and from the U.K. Well, well, you have definitely out did yourself Coop." Chance smiled with pretty white teeth at me.

"Yeah, anyways where's the fuckin' drinks man?" Cooper asked.

"Yeah, follow me. You ladies want a drink?" Chance asked us and Cari nodded along with me in unison.

"Follow me." He nodded, walking through the crowds of bodies enjoying themselves.

Calen

Laying on my bed, I stared up at the ceiling wishing she would just answer her phone. Tapping my hand on my knee, I tried to just call Dana but her phone just kept ringing. She was seriously just ignoring my ass.

"Fuck." I groaned sitting up in my bed. I scanned through my endless thread of messages on my phone and saw one from Coop I must have ignored.

Coop: going to the Hernandez party, know you might not go with the funk yo ass been in. but it would mean a lot if your ass showed up. (Sat, 10:45PM)

That was thirty minutes ago, and I didn't really want to go. My ass wasn't in the mood for partying I wanted to be laid up with my girl.

Being desperate, I called Cari's phone just to see if Dana was just sleep or some shit. It rung like three times before her ass answered. Immediately I heard loud ass music in the background.

"Hello?" She answered sounding confused.

"Cari, where the hell you at?" I asked and she laughed in my ear. Some nerve she got.

"Calen you are not my dad, what the hell you want?" She asked me, and I was already getting annoyed with her.

"You at the Hernandez party?" I asked her hoping she was anywhere else.

"Yeah and I'm not alone." She spoke sing songy, "Need to get your shit together Calen."

Then she hung up, in my face.

Get my shit together huh?

Guess I'm going to a party.

Dana

I sat on a stool by the huge bar with Cari that looked like it belonged in a club. Wrapping my lips on a cup of sex on the beach, it made my front lobe fuzzy way too soon. It was my first cup and I probably had about three more sips in it.

"Want another babe?" Cari asked me and i cheesed nodding at her. She chuckled at my tipsy ass before turning towards the bar, telling the bad female that was making drinks for another order.

"This wasn't a bad idea, even though Cooper was against it." I mumbled in her ear since the music was more louder in the section of the estate we were in than outside.

"Nah, it wasn't. But anyways, Cooper was nothing compared to how Calen will react." She laughed making me confused.

"What you mean?" I asked her, how would Calen would know we were here.

"His party pooping ass called me like ten minutes ago, he's probably not going anywhere anyways." Cari shrugged sipping from a clear straw in her glass.

She was right, I wasn't going to let the fear of Calen coming trying to start some shit get to me. Just enjoy myself like how I should. I was on vacation dammit.

Some guy came out of nowhere drunk as hell obviously and walked right into me with his drink. It was like I didn't even have time to react.

"Shit!" I groaned standing up out the stool, what mad it worse was the twins; Chance and his brother Chris was standing by us talking to Cari and Cooper.

The coincidence that they had names starting with a C also was weird, but I paid it no mind.

"Oh, well damn ain't you wearing your drink." Some girl laughed, I felt so embarrassed.

"Where's the bathroom?!" I yelled, ignoring Cari trying to wipe me with napkins.

"Um, you can use the one upstairs, third door on the right." Chance told me with a smile like he was trying to stifle his laugh.

Everyone was on the liq, and probably wouldn't remember this but it didn't make me feel any less humiliated. Storming off I went upstairs and by the time I got up there, automatically forgot what door Chance told me.

"Fuck." I mumbled, leaning up against the wall in the barely lit hallway. My flip flops padded gently on the hardwood floors, and I tried the first door. But it was just a linen closet, with only sheets and blankets.

"Oh my gosh!" I groaned going to the next door and taken aback, no horrified, embarrassed more by what I saw.

In the lightly lit room, a very tall light brown skinned guy stood, getting head from two different females. My mouth formed a huge O in embarrassment, his low sleepy eyes made eye contact with mine, not one hint of shock on his face.

"I am so sorry." I yelled immediately closing the door back, leaning against it with my back. Calming my heart I leaned up off the door going to the next finding the bathroom finally.

Closing the door behind me, I got a towel sitting on the toilet. The one exclusive high society party of this island and I was soon to be the laughing stock of it. I dabbed the wet spot on my shirt a few more times, looking myself in the mirror.

"You're supposed to be having fun Dana." I breathed and looked over myself once more. Being satisfied with my shirt and whole look I decided to exit the bathroom.

Opening the door I was met with those sleepy eyes again on the tall guy, who I walked in on. Shit, he's going to banish me from the house.

"Um...." I didn't know what to say looking up at him, he blew smoke from his full lips just staring down at me a dark look in his eyes.

"Do you need to use the bathroom or something?" I asked him and he shook his head at me.

"No." He spoke, "Never seen you before around here."

"Oh, yeah I'm not from here." I nodded sounding like an idiot.

"That's obvious." He muttered taking a pull from his blunt, "Who you here with?"

"Um, Cooper and Cari." I told him, like he knew who that was. Probably didn't even live here. He analyzed me once in confusion.

"Rodriguez." I continued and then he did a slow nod.

"Oh...he's back then." The guy spoke confusing me.

"Whose back?" I asked him, he leaned back on the opposite wall from me. A door down the hall opened, and the two females that I walked in earlier with the guy went down the hall.

"I'm August." He spoke to me pulling my attention back on him, "Hernandez."

"Dana, Ross." I smiled and he cracked one too. It was beautiful, I forgot a moment that I was in an awkward moment with him a while ago.

"Nice to meet you Dana." He spoke taking another pull from his blunt, "You smoke?"

"Oh, nah I drink. But someone spilled their drink on me thinking I wear it too." I spoke in annoyance, August did a small chuckle.

"Sorry about my rude guests, you want another outfit to change into?" He asked me, I had to admit it surprised me.

"Oh no, I'm fine. Being in your house is enough for me, it's beautiful by the way." I told him in honesty.

"Thank you, and I like your voice it's beautiful too." He told me, "Nah, more like sexy."

"Uh, thank you." I could feel myself blushing in front of this guy that was more than intimidating in his own way. He was handsome I had to admit.

"Dana!" A familiar voice yelled from down the hall, I turned towards the sound along with August. Calen walked down the hall quickly looking me up and down then put his sights on August.

"Hernandez." Calen muttered lowly towards August, he took another pull from his blunt staring back at Calen.

"Rodriguez." August spoke squinting his eyes at him.

"Dana, it's time to go, now." Calen told me still looking at August, they must have a very bad history.

"You're serious right now? All I was doing was using the bathroom." I huffed looking up at him, he was doing too much.

"Well are you done?" He asked looking down at me.

"Yeah." I breathed, feeling him grab my hand, and I waved bye at August. He nodded at me with a wave of his own, watching us walk off.

Calen never let my hand go even when we got to outside of the estate, he chirped an all black car. It was a BMW that I didn't even think came out yet.

"I'm not ready to leave yet." I told him, he looked angry at me clenching his jaw. He looked sexy when he was mad. Maybe it was the liquor in me, but I didn't even realize how long I had even been talking to August.

It seemed like it had only been barely five minutes. But it was longer than that, probably why Calen came upstairs looking for me.

"Dana, please get in the car or I'll make you." He threatened me. How dare he?

"Are you serious right now, I'll just go find Cari and leave with her." I told him beginning to walk away, and I was swept off my feet after only two steps. His Armani cologne invaded my nostrils deeply making me weaker than usual to fight him off.

"Calen!" I yelled while he put me in his car, he closed the door. Locked it with his key button every time I tried to unlock the door.

Getting in the drivers side, he pushed started the car driving off from the estate. I folded my arms over my chest, angry that he was trying to treat me like a child or something.

"So you're kidnapping me now, very mature." I scrunched my eyebrows in anger.

"I've been calling your damn phone all night, why you ignoring me?" He asked, thinking his question justified his actions obviously.

Low key his bold act did turn me on as much as I wanted to be mad at him.

"Until you were ready to just talk about stuff, I didn't want to hear nothing else." I told him, looking over he had his free hand holding his chin.

"We've talked Dana, I just wanted to-"

"Have sex, yeah I'm sure." I cut him off looking away from him.

He scoffed having me looking back over at him, "Believe me I want to do more than that to your ass."

"Calen!" I yelled not believing he was trying to joke around right now.

"What? I'm at least being honest, your ass act like you don't want me but I know better."

He drove down the road, turning on the overhead light to look for something.

"Don't try and tell me what I want." I spoke looking in his face and he smoothly made eye contact with me doing a squint of his eyes.

"Stop fronting with me Dana." He spoke softly, my heart skipped a beat as we kept eye contact, I looked away from him.

"That's what the fuck I thought."

"Swear you make me sick." I huffed looking away from him while he turned off the overhead light putting his spliff between his lips.

"I don't understand, how we got here." He muttered lighting a spliff, I looked over at him.

"You stopped loving me, that's how!" I yelled at him, taking another pull he put his blunt out, parking the car on the side of the road. Letting down his window he blew the smoke and turned towards me.

"I've never stopped fuckin' loving you!" He yelled at me clenching his jaw, "Everything I've done has been for you!"

"No, it's been for your family." I sniffled, "And I don't blame you for picking them over me I would've done the same."

"Fuck Dana, no, that's not how it is." He leaned closer to me, placing his right hand on my bare left thigh that my skirt didn't cover, "If you just give me the chance I'll tell you whatever you want, and you're all that matters to me."

"Well talk. Right now." I demanded in a softer tone looking over at him and I wish I hadn't. His brown eyes looked like fire staring me down. His warm right hand clenched my thigh gently.

"You switching our chains, that was strike one. I just felt my guards to respect what you want come down." He started, licking over his full pink lips slowly. It made me throb in hearing him bearing his thoughts, showing his sweet vulnerability.

His eyes analyzed me slowly, before he just moved the center down in the car so that he could move closer to me, this isn't going how I wanted in no way at all...but it just felt. Right.

"That fucking bikini was strike two, and then you rejected me in the boat..." He breathed moving his adam's apple while he talked and swallowed.

I couldn't talk, just get sucked up into him, fuck.

"Then seeing you talking to some other dude in the hall set me on fire, and I'm sorry for how I acted." He apologized in a soft tone, I felt his hand move further between my inner thighs.

"Calen." I groaned in frustration and want fearing for this to happen, he had me where I didn't need to be with him, we hadn't even talked yet.

"What?" He asked, his hand moving further he kept eye contact with me while cars passed us on the street.

"Can you please.." I breathed grabbing his tattooed diamond chained wrist feeling his fingertips reach the cloth of my panties.

"Stop?" He asked in a whispering purr, "Why when you know you don't fuckin' want me to baby?"

"Because we need to talk." I gasped taking in his fingers, after so long back where they were supposed to be.

"But, you dripping for me Dae." He whispered biting his bottom lip, his fingers slid left to right on my sensitive nub.

In little circles he rubbed up and down my center leaning more on my side of the car. Using his free hand he gripped my right thigh pulling my legs towards his side of the car.

"No, we need to-"

"We don't need to talk about shit." He looked into my eyes, throwing my shoes out the window pulling my hips closer to him. My head laid on the passenger seat I closed my eyes knowing I wasn't going to win, his soft hand gripped my body like I was his most prized possession.

Pushing my skirt up he ripped my panties in one swift move, I heard them tear slowly seeing he threw them out the car too. Then he kissed my left inner thigh with such gentle ease.

I gasped as he began to blow on me, reaching up his hand he moved my shirt up moving my bra out the way. Slowly his fingertips began to play with my left nipple.

"I fuckin' love you Dana, and I want you." Was his last words before he dived into my pearl like it had been centuries.

Slurping, sucking, moaning and groaning is all he put me through in eternal bliss his mouth made love to me, and he wasn't finished there.

"I don't want you to come like this, baby let me..." He trailed off softly grabbing my hips he stopped before I hit my peak, pulling me on top of him.

"Calen, we can't I-"

He pressed his mouth softly to mine kissing slow letting me taste myself, plunging his tongue down my throat. Tasting like sugar I indulged in his lips pulling away so I can breathe. Going for the sensitive spot on the right side of my neck next he bit, only to softly glide against the spot putting a hickie.

"Not like this, I don't want to lose my virginity like this!" I yelled at him, he had my nerves and emotions all over the place.

"Dana-"

"Just, lets go back to the house Calen. Now!" I yelled, glad he had stopped his attack on me before it went too far. I moved back over to my side of the car, feeling like an idiot that I went back on my word and promise to myself.

Fuck.

~~~

Thanks For Reading!😍

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ritual-unions · 1 year

Text

Touch Me

Moodboard by @therealvikingstrash (that I am still absolutely still in love with)

Modern!Hvitserk x OFC

Summary: Ubbe solicits Hvitserk into having sex with his girl, Dusty, so that he can watch, things don’t go as planned when Hvitserk’s new girlfriend, Honey, walks in on the three of them mid-coitous.

A part of my "Broken Clocks" series, in which the sons of Ragnar own a strip club, The Valkyrie, located in England, much to the annoyance of the Christian council, Ecbert, and his son, Aethelwulf.

My submission for #smuttyvikings by @vikingsevents the Day 2 prompt: "Touch | Featherlight, Rough, Tender"

Warnings: NSFW, cuckolding, oral sex

Read on Ao3 if you prefer

Honey B is in her power most days. She has off days. Days where she wakes up and does not feel like wearing a teeny tiny string bikini and would rather put on sweatpants and curl back under the bed covers. Days when her favorite platform heels feel too small for her feet or the pimple on her chin feels too big to go out in public.

They think because she is small that she cannot handle the realities of the world. Ubbe had warned her as such when she applied for the job but she knew what she was signing up for, so she says her thanks and accepts the job.

She thinks she has seen it all in the months that follow. It is not until she stumbles upon Hvitserk with his tongue deep in Dusty’s pussy that she realizes she has not.

*****

There is enough money scattered across the stage that it piles to the top of Dusty’s feet. Even in her four inch heels the notes brush the thin straps of her platform heels. She seems to float through the pile as if she is walking through water.

The chrome pole is beckoning her. Dusty’s fingers curl around it, latching on and then climbing to the top. With only her thighs to hold her in place she stretches back, floating in the air.

Hvitserk can’t take his eyes off of her.

For the past two hours Dusty has been dancing for a private group of men but that does not stop her from getting back in her groove. This time she will dance for herself and no one else.

Hvitserk watches as she floats around the blanket of devotion that has been laid on the stage. He cannot imagine the total number of notes that are here but he guesses it will be enough for her to pay all her monthly bills plus some.

It is not the money he is in awe of but the strength that keeps her on the pole. Setting aside the trash bag that is half full of cash he has been collecting for her he sits back on the plush cushions of the bench opposite of the stage, takes out the radio that is jammed in his ear, letting it hang along the collar of his shirt and relaxes to take in the show. The voices of bouncers, bartenders and Ivar’s direct commands converge in a static chatter that he ignores, instead focusing on Dusty.

The thick red curtains that surround the semi-private room are closed. Ivar will not see Hvitserk sitting down on the job, that is, unless he is in the office watching the cameras. Not that it matters. It’s a Wednesday night and The Valkyrie is only at seventy percent occupancy, low compared to the weekends, and Hvitserk sees nothing wrong with taking a break.

Digging into his pocket Hvitserk pulls out a fresh box of cigarillos, peels off that plastic wrapper that seals it shut and sets to rolling a spliff. The small cocktail table before him is sticky in one corner and he plucks a discarded note near his foot to use as a makeshift tray where he can work, undisturbed by the cocktail juice. The cigarillo paper cracks open between his fingers and he empties out the tobacco carefully onto the note’s surface. The weed he pulls from the inside pocket of his jacket is schwag, not worthy of a stand-alone smoke, so he mixes it with the tobacco to create something better. A mind and body high that he enjoys so much.

The music in the main hall shakes the ground but as it filters through the curtains it is only a muffled beat that hits Hvitserk. His ears ring in the half-silence as he handles the cigarillo with care. It wants to crumble under his grip as he tries to balance the paper in one hand and the note filled with tobacco and weed in the other but he has done this enough to know the exact pressure to apply.

Out of the corner of his eye he can see Dusty still floating in the air. Her arms are spread out wide as her head hangs back, spinning slowly. She is like the ceramic figurines Aslaug used to put out during the holidays. The electronic figure skater was always his favorite to watch as she slid effortlessly across the ice. Unlike the figurine whose wide eyes were round with wonder Dusty’s are closed off to the world.

Floating.

Dreaming.

Elsewhere.

“Who were those guys?” Hvitserk asks as his fingers curl around the cigarillo paper, sealing it shut.

Dusty hums in reply, coming down from the cloud she has escaped on. A place where no one can touch her. None of her problems exist. It is only her and the little world she has created for herself.

She licks her lips contemplating her answer before reaching upwards towards the pole.

Sliding to the ground she says, “politician's son.” Her heels do not make a sound as they land on the stage. “And his china plates.” Dusty mocks in a feigning Cockney accent. Her lip snarls at her own joke. Her own accent is a muddle mix of the Russian immigrant parents who raised her and the dialect of the English countryside she was born in.

She slides to her knees gracefully, dancing to the muffled song pounding outside of the room, bending back until her head rests on the stage, arm stretched above her head.

From this contorted position she peers at him, watching him for a moment before she speaks whatever it is on her mind. Dusty, while hot headed and quick to speak her mind, first wears her thoughts on her face before she opens her mouth. Hvitserk has witnessed this process unfold between her and Ivar enough to know it well. He waits, too concentrated on getting the spliff perfect to be bothered by her drawn out stare.

“Ubbe says he has a request for you,” she finally announces.

Hvitserk licks the paper, wetting the edges. He can’t help but smirk. Dusty has never been one to not beat around the bush. He appreciates her bluntness most days. She is unlike Ivar or Bjorn who attempt to show off their intelligence with riddles and snide remarks.

“He told me,” Hvitserk mumbles as he licks the cigarillo paper.

“And?” Dusty impatiently demands.

Hvitserk pulls the flame of his lighter to seal the edges of the paper, not looking up at her until he is certain his spliff is complete. Placing one end between his lips he replies.

“I’ll do it.”

Clicking the lighter twice he brings the flame to the end of his spliff. Unintentionally he smirks around the cigarillo when Dusty beams with glee. She is happy that he said yes. It is no ordinary request, he admits, but she should know by now that he rarely says no to Ubbe.

He inhales a few short puffs to get the spliff rolling, watching through thick clouds of smoke as Dusty approaches. She is beautiful. Tall with long hair that reaches her waist, her makeup is still perfectly manicured though he knows she has labored the past two hours performing and before that for half an hour on the main stage.

She pulls the spliff out from between his lips, taking a long drag of her own before handing it back.

He plucks at the black elastic floss that wraps around her belly. “What is this?” He ponders with a tilt of his head. “What do you call this outfit?” He has to sit back in his seat to see her fully.

“A bodysuit.” Dusty grins, swaying a little to show off her outfit. Then, as if on autopilot, she moves into a dance, rolling her hips towards him.

“Don’t know much about women’s clothing,” Hvitserk chuckles, stretching out his legs to make room for Dusty’s little dance. “This ain’t a bodysuit.” He reaches up, tapping the edge of a flower motif that covers one nipple. There is underwire supporting her breasts but otherwise the outfit is all string and bits of lace.

Dusty laughs, that deep throaty sound that he first heard at the pub downtown all those years ago when he watched her get kicked out for being underage. She had laughed in the bouncer's face, fearless of the oversized muscles and excessive testosterone. Hvitserk had followed her outside watching as she fought against the bouncer, wiggling like a wildcat in his grip until he had practically thrown her on the streets but she had kept her balance, regardless of the fact that she wore skinny stiletto heels. Hvitserk knew instantly The Valkyrie needed her.

“They seem to like it.” Dusty shrugs her shoulders, nodding her head to the metaphorical customers who had gaped at her outfit, their minds foggy with little fantasies playing through their heads of all the things they would do to said strings if only they could touch her.

“Bet they did,” Hvitserk replies, head rolling back against his seat as the spliff takes a hold of his mind. He reaches out to caress the skin where two straps overlap but Dusty brushes away his touch with a swipe of her hand even as her hips sway towards him.

“No touching,” she whispers even as her hands caress the length of her body as if trying to tempt him. Touching her breasts. The sides of her body. The straps he so desperately wants to snap just to hear her hiss in pain.

Hvitserk huffs in contempt. He knows the rules, he was present when his brothers had worked to create them. He can’t help but feel insulted by Dusty keeping to them even after he has agreed to Ubbe’s special request.

“Not yet,” she adds when she notices his pouting. She caresses his chin before she turns to sit in his lap, grinding against him.

She starts slow. Her bare ass cheeks are a whisper against the fabric of his slacks. Dropping low to the ground, her fingers wrap around his thighs, digging into his flesh, an aid as she sways back up. Arching her back she rolls until she settles in his lap, grinding a little deeper this time.

He can feel a growl working its way up his throat, mouth twitching as he tries to swallow it.

Dusty’s head rolls back to rest next to his. “Sorry,” she lies. “It's only that I like to tease you.”

For now, he thinks. His fingers curl into fists on his lap.

Ubbe is quiet when he enters the room, slipping through the curtains without a sound. Hvitserk almost doesn’t hear him; he is too focused on Dusty grinding against his crotch.

Ubbe’s eyes drag across Hvitserk and Dusty’s precarious placement but says nothing.

Ubbe is here to watch and that is all.

Hvitserk can’t help but lift his hips up against Dusty’s. He is excited at the prospect to come. There is nothing quite as satisfying as humiliating a sibling. And Ubbe has asked for it directly.

His brother sits in the single chair in the room.

It is the only black in an otherwise red room. The leather padding with chrome edges reflect off the chandelier overhead and the red neon lights on the floor. It casts a glow around Ubbe’s head as he leans against the headrest.

The chair is designed to make their VIP guests feel special when they book the overly priced semi-private room. Set apart from the rest, it draws the eye.

“A seat for a king,” Ivar had smiled when the chairs were delivered in the months after they had bought the building that would later become The Valkyrie. Ivar had designed one for all the private rooms, each more grand than the last.

Ubbe looks like a king.

Observing his subjects.

And Hvitserk has always enjoyed putting on a show.

Licking his lips Hvitserk leans forward to ask, “and now?” His voice comes out a rough scratch, he wants to instead tell her that he is going to touch her. His fingers dance across his pant leg.

“Yes,” Dusty purrs. Hvitserk’s hands latch onto her sides. His fingers are icy cold against Dusty’s warm exercised body and a yelp of surprise bursts out her mouth. She tries to keep out of his touch but he holds her, pulling her back into his lap.

She giggles, trying to catch her breath.

“Do you tell him what to do?” Hvitserk's voice is low in Dusty’s ear. He motions to Ubbe with a nod of his head. “Or is it the other way around?” He asks, tickling her sides and she wiggles in his lap.

“Depends,” Dusty breathlessly answers. Her gaze is trapped on Ubbe as she rolls her hips against Hvitserk. “Depends on the day. What mood I’m in.” She leans her back against his chest, reaching her arm around his head to thread her fingers through the knot that makes up Hvitserk’s hair. “Whatever mood he’s in.” She nods her head towards Ubbe while still tugging at Hvitserk’s hair.

“What mood are you in?” she asks the question innocently, the hitch in her voice like that of when she talks to her customers. Asking them what they want as if they truly have any say in the matter.

Laughter tickles his throat.

“To fuck you,” he answers. The laughter that was once trapped, reverberates out of his chest when Dusty shyly peaks at him, her gaze finally drawn away from Ubbe. She is surprised to hear him speak this way. She only knows him as Ubbe’s faithful dog and Ivar’s loyal sidekick. She has never seen him otherwise.

Her mouth is close to his cheek as she takes him in, half impressed by his boldness, a smile curls on her painted lips.

Hvitserk licks his lips to drown out the next round of laughter that wants to burst forth, watching as Dusty’s smile turns into a look of wonderment.

“That’s what he wants, huh?” Hvitserk’s gaze does not falter from her mouth. He wonders what it must taste like. Does she taste of Ubbe or is she distinctly her own? Is she minty like the gum she chews vigorously during pole practice or is she spicy like the perfume she spritz before her performance?

“ - for me to fuck you,” he confirms with a nod of his head. He drags his gaze away from her plump lips to her eyes, seeking that confirmation before he begins.

She nods her head. “Yeah.” Her voice is a whisper even in the quiet room.

“Say it.”

“I want you to fuck me, Hvitserk.”

“There it is.” He leans back as he laughs heartily and then lurches forward, pressing his lips against hers because he can’t go without knowing what she tastes like.

She is a cool mint with a hint of fruit, leftover from the lipgloss she had applied that evening. She is nothing like his girl, Honey B, who is all sweet and sugary.

Honey is somewhere in The Valkyrie giving lap dances to a bachelor party in one of the exclusive VIP rooms. Hvitserk doesn’t like to know the exact room she is performing in, especially when she has been specifically requested. He would rather be ignorant, satisfied with the idea that Ivar can check the cameras in the room at any moment making certain she is safe.

Hvitserk has to be okay with her dancing naked for these strangers. It would be hypocritical if he was not.

He understands why Ubbe wants this, to sit back and watch as Dusty calls out Hvitserk’s name as he’s balls deep inside of her. It’s a little piece of control in an otherwise uncontrollable world.

Hvitserk sighs, satisfied with the taste of her then nuzzles against her cheek and says quietly, “now take off that stupid fucking outfit and bend over for me.”

Dusty’s fingers freeze, wedged between the ties in his hair. “But I-”

Hvitserk nudges her to stand with his own hips. He’s done playing by Dusty’s rules. He’s ready to do what he promised. “You’ll be screaming my name by the time I’m done with you,” he says knowingly.

Dusty sways on her heels, dumbfounded for a moment, as if she can’t believe she is going through with it. She glances over at Ubbe. One last chance before they all cross a line they cannot undo.

Ubbe is as still as a rock on his throne, legs spread out wide, arms resting on the sides of the chair, glass tumblr full of iced down whiskey tilts back and forth as he assesses them. His gaze darts across Dusty then to Hvitserk and back again to her. His brow arches, leaving the answer in Dusty’s hands. She can walk away but it is now or never.

She glances at Hvitserk, nods her head, then her hands find the clasp of her bra.

There are too many hooks and ties of her bodysuit for Hvitserk to keep track but she somehow manages to gracefully strip naked.

She looks back at him when she is done undressing. She is almost as tall as him in her heels but he wants to see what she looks like bent over and he nods towards the stage.

Go on.

Gracefully she climbs the stairs, unperturbed by the fact that she is the only naked person in the room. She is unlike Honey B who Hvitserk is certain had never been nude, even in the privacy of her own home, except for the few moments when she was changing clothes or getting out of the shower, before she came to The Valkyrie.

Hvitserk tugs on the slacks of his pants wondering if Honey will ever bend over nicely for him like that. Dusty’s ass is presented to him in the most delicious manner, his hand itches to smack it, to turn it a bright red. Dusty is all curves and thick muscle while Honey is petite and small and Hvitserk’s mouth twitches at the idea of both girls in bed with him.

His hand soothes across the expanse of Dusty’s back, taking his time to knead her fleshy hips and then no longer able to help himself, smacks her ass. The hiss of pain out of her lips is enough to make it worth the sharp glare she sends over her shoulder.

He hides the smile of delight behind the back of his hand but Dusty knows better, she has seen his mocking smirk enough to be able to see the signs in the way his eyes brighten or how his cheeks redden. He cannot hide himself from her or Ubbe who shifts in his seat across from him.

Ubbe treads the line of wanting to protect Dusty and to allow her to set her own boundaries. The glass of whiskey in Ubbe’s hand swirls the ball of ice inside and then his mouth twitches slightly when Dusty stretches out long like a cat, anticipating what she will try to do to Hvitserk.

She wants to play a game with Hvitserk, one both Ubbe and Hvitserk have witnessed enough. The one where she tries to coax the customers into booking a private room with her or throw her an extra note just for being. It works most of the time. She is soft and submissive, letting them think it is their idea, that paying more for a room is to their advantage. That, maybe, they might get a chance to mold Dusty to their liking. But it’s never their idea though they fall for it time and time again. She will always hold the power. Stringing them along as she dances her dance.

Hvitserk hooks his arm under Dusty’s waist, hoisting her back to her previous position, pulling her hips higher in the air. “No,” he corrects her with another slap on her ass. “You’ll stay.”

He ignores her hiss pain, his hand traveling between her legs to palm the lips of her vulva. She is wet and sticky. “You like that, huh?” he asks but doesn’t wait to hear her reply, his teeth sinking into her fleshy bottom. “Need someone to tell you what to do.” He pushes a single digit inside her and she sighs in satisfaction.

“Say it,” he mumbles, lips brushing the flesh above her hip while his thumb circles the outer edges of her clit, not quite touching her where she wants.

“Yes,” she breathes out, head cradling in her arms as if she is too afraid to look up to say it but Hvitserk knows Dusty is rarely afraid. “I need you to tell me what to do.”

Hvitserk hums, swallowing the smile that wants to spread across his mouth. “Do better.”

There is a beat of silence as Dusty contemplates her answer.

“Please,” she whimpers. “Hvitserk.”

A self satisfied grin graces Hvitserk’s lips and he glances at Ubbe to make certain his brother has heard his girl beg for him. To add insult to injury Hvitserk’s playful thumb swirls against Dusty’s clit causing her to moan. Hvitserk catches Ubbe’s half concealed roll of his eyes before moving on to paying closer attention to Dusty.

His mouth replaces his fingers and he finds that she is delightfully delicious. She shutters under his tongue and he has to grab a hold of her hips to keep her steady. Once he has her where he wants her his thumb finds her clit and her moans get louder.

Dusty sings a sputtering moan that causes Hvitserk’s mouth to curl around the lips of her pussy. His hand, that had once held her in place, moves to find her breast.

“Hvitserk,” Dusty cries out when his tongue prods deeper inside of her while simultaneously smoothing his thumb over her clit. “Gods, don’t stop.”

Dusty’s chest is heaving as he caresses her breast, tugging on her nipple. He loves the way she is tightening up, but he wants to be balls deep inside of her when she comes so that he can see the look on Ubbe’s face when she unravels under his touch. He takes one last long lick of her pussy.

“Honey,” Ubbe’s voice is gruff as he calls out the name. Dusty’s heaving breath all but stops, her head snaps up to look at Ubbe.

Hvitserk is almost uncertain if he has heard his brother correctly. Slowly Hvitserk untangles himself from Dusty’s body.

Honey B is frozen between the velvet curtains. She is dwarfed by their immaculate size, looking like a slutty pop star with her knee high latex platforms and teeny tiny skirt that does nothing to hide her ass. Her glittery makeup and high set ponytail all point towards the hand of her friend, Dusty, who helped her get ready that evening.

“Oh fuck,” Dusty exclaims sitting back on her heels so fast that she knocks her head again Hvitserk’s chin. “Fuck,” she cries out again, this time caressing the back of her head.

“Are you okay?” Hvitserk is quick to ask, hand hovering over Dusty’s as if some kind of combined power will heal her quicker.

The sound of Honey’s heels clacking against the painted cement floor brings Hvitserk back to the present as he watches Honey disappear back to the main hall.

“Ubbe.” Hvitserk gestures uselessly to Dusty who is still cradling her head as he scrambles to his feet. He does not have time to care for Dusty. He’s got to stop Honey before she leaves The Valkyrie. Or worse yet, leaves him.

There are men calling out Honey’s name. Now that she is a household face in the establishment she is a popular request among the regulars who frequent The Valkyrie. She dodges their advances with ease; she is small enough to duck around the crowds that get in her way.

Hvitserk is not as lucky. His large frame keeps him from advancing on Honey. He just needs to talk to her. Look her in the eyes and explain exactly what she had just seen. Surely she’ll understand.

My brother wanted me to fuck his girlfriend. It’s a kink for him. You see? It means nothing.

Honey heads for the front entrance. No jacket, no bag, just her skimpy little outfit to take her anywhere but the club. She has no car, Hvitserk drove her to work that day and this late at night the bus only comes around every half an hour. She clearly does not have a plan for escape. He is worried that once she steps out of that door he will never see her again.

He can’t let that happen.

He won’t.

Jamming the radio back into his ear he presses the button clipped to his belt. “Don’t let her out,” he practically shouts, not waiting to see if anyone else is on the line already. He repeats himself a few more times. “Don’t let Honey leave.”

He waits a few bated breaths before one of the bouncers replies, “she’s here.”

“What the fuck is going on Hvitserk?” Ivar’s demands over the radio, his voice a loud screech in his ear.

“What do you want me to do with her?” asks the head bouncer. Hvitserk can imagine him towering over Honey’s short frame while he waits for further instruction.

“Take her to the back office,” Hvitserk manages to reply between Ivar’s bursts of contempt.

“I don’t know if she’ll go peacefully,” the bouncer replies. Hvitserk can now see the top of Honey’s head. There is a crowd gathering, also blocked from leaving. One of the bouncers nudges her shoulder, whispering in her ear.

She walks with the bouncer for a few steps, resigned to her fate before she bursts forward, running past Hvitserk. She does not see him in her panic and he is able to catch her by her belly, scooping her up so that he can throw her over his shoulder.

“Let me down, you oaf!” she screams, pounding his back in a vain attempt to hurt him.

“We can touch the girls now?” One patron asks in glee.

Ivar has somehow found Hvitserk in the chaos and snarls at the patron, “no.” Then nods his head to his personal guard motioned to throw the idiot out.

Hvitserk marches on to the back office, simultaneously ignoring Ivar’s demands for an explanation and Honey’s pounding fists on his back.

As gracefully as he can, Hvitserk drops Honey on Ubbe’s desk, it is practically void of any clutter unlike his own that is just a collection of junk mail and leftover wrappers from lunch, then turns back to address Ivar who is waiting on the other side of the door.

“What fuck is this?” Ivar snarls, pointing to the closed door. Honey is probably banging on the other side but the room is soundproof so the only one who can hear her is herself.

“I’m dealing with it,” Hvitserk gruffly replies. He does not have the head space to explain the situation twice. “We had a disagreement.”

Dusty’s voice echoes down the hallway. “Did you find her?”

Ivar snarls openly at being ignored and turns to Dusty to yell. “You’re supposed to be on the floor.” He is leaning heavily on his cane as he points an accusatory finger in her direction.

Ubbe rounds the corner, long legs keeping stride with Dusty’s slow jog.

“What are you going to say to her?” Ubbe asks when he is near enough not to be troubled with shouting.

“I’ll ask again,” Ivar stresses slowly between clenched teeth. “What the hell happened?”

The three of them turn to look at Ivar each with their unique expression of guilt dripping off their features.

Ivar sighs, running a hand along the length of his face. “I don’t think I want to know any longer.”

“I’ll talk to her,” Ubbe announces once Ivar is out of view.

“No,” Hvitserk shakes his head. “It needs to come from me.”

“I think Ubbe is right,” Dusty says, resting a hand on Hvitserk’s shoulder. He glances at the offending appendage as if it is burning him but Dusty is unperturbed by his looks of grief. Hvitserk would vow to never speak to Dusty again if that would appease Honey but he knows likely that will not solve the problem.

“Fine,” Hvitserk says with a bowed head stepping aside to let Ubbe through the door.

*****

It feels like hours since Ubbe had closed the door on Hvitserk’s face, the club had to be closing soon. It was long enough that he’d broken out in a cold sweat pacing the halls, waiting for Honey to exit the room.

She looks pissed when she finally comes out. Hvitserk has never seen this side of her. Eyes dark in the dimly lit hall they slice across him like knives twisting in his chest and belly.

“Honey,” he breathes out, reaching for her.

“No.” She shakes her head, sliding away from his outstretched hand. “You don’t get to touch me.”

Hvitserk teeth grind together as he grimaces, glaring in his brother’s direction, who stands near the office door, unmoving, like a statue carved frozen for centuries to come. Ubbe hardly seems to care that this is all his fault.

“And you don’t get to be mad at him either,” Honey says, pointing in Ubbe’s direction. “You had just as much choice in this as him.”

Hvitserk scrubs at his face, trying to untangle his mouth. If only he could find the words to explain his reasoning then she would understand.

“I’m pissed,” Honey says, crossing her arms across her chest, brown eyes never leaving his face. A smile tickles Hvitserk’s mouth as he looks down at her, small and mighty, trying not to let the pride swell in his chest. Since starting to work at the strip club her confidence has grown tenfold. He has watched each day grow a little wider until it now stands before him unmovable. When he first met her she could hardly look him in the eyes. He turns his neck, looking at his feet instead, so that he does not accidently smile stupidly in her face.

“I need space,” she declares, pulling Hvitserk back to reality. He nods his head vigorously, letting her know he is listening, his fingers tightening into fists at his sides, trying to keep himself from reaching out and pulling her into a hug. “I don’t forgive you but," she sighs heavily through her nose. "I’m trying to understand.”

Hvitserk winces at her statement. He hates it when she’s mad at him. His fingers twitch at his side he wants to touch her so badly.

“Space,” she commands and Hvitserk nods his head, resigning not to touch her until she forgives him.

#smuttyvikings #hvitserk fanfiction #vikings fanfic #ubbe #ubbe ragnarsson #hvitserk #hvitserk ragnarsson #hvitserk x oc #hvitserk smut

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chapterhour · 2 years

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The time on the dashboard read, 12:26 am, as I sat driver's seat of my 2012 BMW. My car was parked at the top of Park Ln South dead-end hill that overlooked the entire East New York. This place became my favorite place to escape and gather my thoughts. The radio played low through the speakers, as the dim light illuminated the driver and passenger seats of the black-tinted car. Bryce sat in the passenger seat as he crushed weed on a $100 bill, licking his lips, and observing my moments. We made eye contact as he flashes me a sexy smile and winked at me.

Bryce was a graduate of All Hallows All-Boys High School and was the kind of man no one saw coming. He was known for hustling discreetly. At just the age of 22. He owned a cab service company called the Black Jet Co. Black Jet wasn’t your typical cab service. His services mainly specialized in OT (out-of-town/on-tour)traveling services that stretched out to Canada and Buffalo. He created a system that cleaned his funds and optimized his leverage to smuggle and distribute drugs across the nation while maintaining a low profile.

Fuking Genius!. I have to admit this guy was a handsomely clever dude, with a sharp mind who was married to the hustle; Just how I liked them. Straight ambitiousness. He stood 6 ft tall, with caramel pigmentation that was soft to the touch, dark brown hair, almond shape bright hazel eyes, and a smile that was contagious.

Bryce was making good money and it showed. He kept his operation running smoothly and under the radar, by mixing in local cab services on days he wasn't too exhausted. He drove around in many different cars but owned a beautiful white-tinted 2014 Mercedes Benz CLA 250. He dressed comfortably in Polo or Nike-tech attire with white Nike low-tops to complete the fit. He rocked a medium icy cuban link, a Rolex, and a few matching hand rings. Bryce worked out and was in great shape, so anything he wore fit his body to perfection. He was gentle enough to lift me like a baby and strong enough to kick some ass if pushing came to shoving. As fit and strong as he was, he still carried his P320 SPECTRE COMP handgun just in case shit went left. There was no telling what could happen in the midst of his paper-chasing & life-gambling hobbies and he was prepared for whatever.

My only response to his contagious smile was rosy cheeks as I smiled ear to ear. My urges wanted to eat him alive as I watched him put his tongue on the paper to seal the spliff shut. He then sparks the lighter to steam dry the joint before lighting it on one end and inhaling through the other. I wasn't sure why everything this man did had turned me on, but it was like clockwork. At any time of every day.

Bryce chuckled as he sat up and adjusted his body a little closer to me, I shimmed closer to him and asked ‘‘what’s so funny’’.

We shared broad smiles as our faces got closer to one another’s.

He responded “ you!’’

Me?, What did I do?

I responded.

He laughs and then kisses me. His kisses always made me want to eat his face, but I decided to take my time and enjoy these moments.

It was roughly a month since I’d seen Bryce and although there were times when we went on tours together., it also wasn’t unlikely for him to go OT alone for days with almost no communication besides a check-up on both ends. Which in the end was alright because I never had a reason not to trust him and vice versa.

Without hesitation I kiss him back slowly slipping my tongue into his mouth, turning our smoke session into a heated make-out session. I started sucking on his tongue gently, making slurping noises. He slightly spits in my mouth

‘‘mmmmm tasty’’ I respond.

His touches were always gentle as he starts to grope my breast with one hand and held the joint in another.

‘‘You're so nasty’’ he mentioned. I giggle and stick out my tongue signifying I wanted more.

He inhaled deep filling his mouth with smoke. Puts the joint in the ashtray that sat in the cup holder, then turns to me.

He grabbed my face put his lips on mine, then exhales into my mouth. I inhaled and suck on his bottom lip as he pulls away looking me in the face. Bryce grabs and lightly tugs a handful of my curly hair, pulling my head backward as he starts passionately sucking on my neck. I Let out a soft moan as his hands are now making their way past my stomach caressing my thighs.

With my left hand, I pull the lever to adjust my seat to a more comfortable laid-back position giving him space to adjust his body closer to mine. Bryce leans over towards me and in between kisses says ; ‘‘you missed me, baby?’’ …

nodding my head yes I responded; ‘‘Can I Show you’’?

‘‘Nah, let me show you how much I missed you,’’ he continued to say.

Bryce held the to keys my heart and he knew it. Aside from his thuggish persona his good looks. He wasn’t afraid to show me affection while being attentive to my needs. Not to mention showering me with gifts, fancy dinners, and trips was only the icing on the cake.

We’ve learned each-other desires and it was really easy for us to enjoy one another.

After adjusting the seat I laid back in he slowly unzipped the zipper holding my blouse together exposing my breast, he was surprised to see I wasn't wearing a bra giving me an annoyed look.

‘‘what? I wore this for you,’’ smiling while making playful posing gestures. ’’ asking him if he liked it

if it was intended for me then I love it’’

he smiled back while cupping and massaging both of my breasts.

He leans downwards and started flick-licking my right nipple while his soft fingers rubbed and played with the left one. Sucking on my tits made my vagina tingle, desperately yearning for him to touch me more and have his way with me. He began slowly running his fingers in a circular motion around my nipple, across my chest, and down past my stomach. Inching down to my hips he teased my waistline with his touches. I squirmed and softly moan some more as my vagina became moist, soaking my underwear. He traced my bikini line with his fingers through my tights, then took his index along with his middle finger and began rubbing right underneath the clitoral hood causing my clit to throb and flourish, all without touching skin. As I look down at my needy area I can see my vagina imprinted through my light grey tights with wet marks that formed from my juices.

Bryce glanced at me as I bite my lips watching his hands fondle my clitoris through my clothes before he says; ‘‘tell me, baby, what do you want?’’

As Usher played softly in the background…

‘’I’ve been waiting for this for so long, we’ll make love until the sun comes up, Baby... I just wanna take it nice and slow’’

‘’I want you to take it nice and slow’’; I responded giving him a seductive look.

Bryce smiled and pulled down my tights exposing my white laced thong. He let’ out a sigh of relief mixed with hunger as he pulled my panties to the side. He blew lightly on my pussy causing goosebumps to dominate my legs. Eager to feel his touch, I lifted the bottom half of my body so that he can devour me entirely, and just as anticipated he placed his tongue on my clit and sucked it softly. The warmth of his mouth made my pussy cream almost instantly. Sucking turned into tongue play as he spread open my pussy lips and flicked his tongue back and forth on my clitoris, splashing and drinking my juices.

‘‘I moan’’; & he slurped.

The more I squirmed the more his tongues play intensified, he begins grunting seductively in between his meal and saying; ‘ you taste so good ’’

I respond in between moans; ‘‘mmm tell me you love this pussy.

he responds. ‘’ I love this pussy, as he fondled my vagina with his soft hands before licking his fingers.

The more he fondled the more my juices flowed. Bryce was rock-hard and ready to go. As I watched as he rubbed his dick through his Nike sweats. He then turns and looked at me with glossy bedroom eyes as he said; “come ride on this dick’’

Watching him recline the passenger seat back told me it was time to saddle up. I pull off my tights leaving on my thong as I thought to myself if we get run down on, at least I’ll be wearing underwear. The thought of the ridiculous idea, made me chuckle looking in his direction. I saw him begin to empty his pockets, putting his wallet on the dashboard before his cell phone chimed. He looked at the screen, opened his phone, responded to a text, locked it then throws it on the dashboard of the car. He laid back and loosened the tied strings on his tracksuit before pulling down both sweats and boxers exposing his large shaft. Still massaging it himself he says; ‘’Come here Ma, Hop on’’

Turned on, I leaned over and we began kissing again.

‘’what’s the hurry baby? I wanna taste you’’; I kissed him again and began to stroke his penis making the tip moist.

In between strokes, I’d tease the tip licking my fingers while playing with just. the head

‘‘mph girl’’ Your such a tease as he let out a sexy moan-like grunt.

I smiled and then kiss him on the lips one last time before proceeding down to lick around the head of his dick. I sucked the head softly with my warm mouth making him stiffen his legs. The more I sucked the more my mouth and vagina began to water as he thrust my mouth. Saliva dripped down his penis as my mouth was latched around it causing him fuck my face deeper. Moaning he held my head as I motioned it up and down faster and deeper.

‘‘FUK!’’ he pleaded.

I was hands-on craving this man and he was just about to find out how much. Knowing he may be at the peak of an explosion. I jumped on his lap into a reverse cowgirl position, pulled my thong to the side, and slide his thick penis inside my throbbing vagina. The tightness of my walls made us gasp upon entry.

‘‘mph this pussy is so wet & tight ma’’; he said while he slapped my ass

‘‘mmm’’ What else baby? I moaned as I rode his horse.

‘‘Do that thing I like, he responded

It was time to hit the full throttle as I hula hooped on his dick. Holding on to my small waist and breathing heavily he begins licking his fingers. I knew he was about to give me double penetration. My hands held on to the dashboard as he rubbed my clitoris with one hand and fingered my ass with the other. thrilled with pleasure, I bounced and rode his stallion faster. After a few minutes, I could feel us both about to erupt. His erection grew thicker inside me as my juices expelled from my pudenda with every stroke.

‘‘squirt for me doll face, he spoke

‘’I moan uncontrollably as I feel my legs shaking

He continued to play on my sinking island as I slowly slid my leg up and turned my body to face him. gliding his dick directly into my pudenda.

He grunts softly signifying he liked it and he was just about ready to fill me up like a cream pie

‘‘mmmm daddy, you ready? , I asked, looking back at him. He slapped and squeezed my ass harder while playing with my clit with the other making it more sensitive by the second. My pussy explodes on his dick causing him to give me a few more strokes until he couldn't hold back from releasing himself.

‘‘I moan and cum uncontrollably

He slaps my ass again. Then asked;

‘’where you want it ma?’’

‘’where ever you’d like it, I responded.

‘’I want to put it in your mouth’’, he said seductively staring at me with his deep eyes.

Bryce had a way of making me feel naked even if I was fully clothed, It was a look that said ‘’you don't have to be naked to be sexy.’’ and he made me feel just that all the time. No matter what time of day it was. To me, he was perfect and I had nothing to complain about.

Without any hesitation, I jump off, hopped back in the driver seat then got in a kneeling position. I placed my mouth on his shaft sucking off all my juices. I deep-throated a few times before he grabs my head, grunting and breathing heavily he released a large loud nutting in my mouth.

Emptying his tank I swallowed each shot he released not saving any for later.

He grunts softly as he rubs my head and then looks at me.

I love you, he told me.

I always enjoyed hearing him say those words. I looked at him, smiled back then said;

oh, you love me? What else?’’ I shot back.

You’re going be my wife and you’re going to have my kids one day and that's all that there is to it. He then responded; while smiling back.

Speechless by what he had expressed. My only response was to smile and climb into his arms and kiss.

No, this Mfuker did not just take his heart and share it like the last slice. I thought to myself as laid in his arms while the music continued playing softly through the speakers of the car. We laughed and talked about our goals as we planned to build and empire together. Bryce was the guy all the girls drooled over, While some other cats hated on him on the low. He loved natural women. Women who were bossy, that came with ambition along with some attitude. He loved an assertive woman, and I was what he was missing. Although I was involved in the nightlife, he supported everything was involved in without ever questioning me. Bryce didn't care as long as I remained level-headed, loyal, and hungry for success. He made it his business to help build higher stats for myself in the nightlife industry. He introduced me to photographers he he was already well acquainted with, paid for photoshoots, and drench me in Chanel gear.

Bryce often called me doll face; in reference to always comparing my resemblance to the Chole’s Bratz doll. Needless to say, he wasn't lying. I stood 5 foot 3 inches with a fair complexion, long thick blonde hair, crystal green eyes, B-cup-sized breasts and natural curves. Bryce enjoyed more how bottom-heavy I was and his his hands were never shy.

After a few minutes of snuggling close, a firm knocking is heard hitting against the tinted window of my BMW. Not expecting anyone to be roaming the area at this time. My heart instantly started pounding in my chest as i thought to my self.

The area where we were parked was surround by tall trees and rocky roads that stood almost on a cliff at a dead-end. Not to mention it’s a tough uphill walk with almost little to no light at night making it very hard to see and even more easier to get lost.

They knock again. I looked at him as he turned his head to look out the window, clicked off the light trying to get a better look through the tinted glass. Hearing voices that didn’t seem familiar to Bryce had him on edge. Not being able to identify who it was outside. Bryce placed his hand and pulled out his handgun he had tucked in between the seat and the passenger door. As tapping turned into banging. I jumped out of his arms and into the driver's seat becoming more frightened.

Bryce adjusts his pants as we listened to three unfamiliar voices surrounding my car. I rush to put my tights on and zip my blouse together as Bryce signals me to keep quiet by putting his finger on his lips, while gripping his gun and looking through the rear and peripheral mirrors. He watched their movements, as they circled the vehicle. We sit quietly As #5 tints made it hard to see inside of the car & verse versa.

Bryce tried to listen to the voices; as they spoke

‘’are you sure this is the car?’’; the first voice said

‘’It has to be, matches all the info Phat gave me ‘’ the second voice says

‘’whose shit is this anyways? ; a third voice asked

‘’shit not important’’ let’s make this nice and easy, anything go wrong blast a motherfuker and whoever else witem’’ ; the first voice continued to say….

GLASS SHATTERS*

The back passenger window is suddenly smashed shattering glass all over the back seat. Bryce jumps out of the car pointing his gun finding a party of three with one holding a crowbar. I heard running footsteps, suggesting they weren't expecting Bryce to be armed and loaded. As my eyes followed the sound that hit the pavement, I noticed two men running to an all-black Nissan Altima that was parked a few feet behind my car with the lights off. Which most likely explained why we didn't notice them coming in.

As the dual hauled ass, the other guy stood frozen in fear with his hands up holding the crowbar used to smash my window. Bryce had a deathly look on his face as he stared at this guy I’ve never seen before down.

He proceeded to taunt the dude by letting out a sarcastic laugh before saying;

haha, are you fuking serious? Gimme the crowbar’’ ; as Bryce held his hand out wanting to retrieve the dudes weapon

As this man stood there in fear, extending his hand that held the crowbar. Bryce looked at him chuckled some more and said while gesturing;

come on, come closer…; now pointing the gun at his groin area

The man inches closer giving Bryce enough arm reach to gun-bud in the face him knocking him to the ground. He begins beating the man halfway the death. Poor dude didn't even see any of it coming. Not only did his two friends make a U-turn and speed off leaving him for dead but this defenseless human was about to wish he made better decisions. As I watched Bryce brutally whip this man with his gun, I thought and wondered to myself who in the hell those men were and how they got the drop on us.

I started hearing wet noises and pounding as I snapped back into present time got out of the car, and rushed over to where the man's limb body laid on the concrete. I began pulling Bryce away telling him

Babe that's enough !!

‘’ who sent you bitch’’ he yelled at the man coughing up blood.

I looked down at the man almost feeling sorry for him. as he tried to speak, coughing and holding his face

it wa a joo; he managed to say with hardly any teeth left in his mouth.

What’d you say you bitch ass nigga? Bryce roared back

‘’It was a job man, the guy pleaded. Phat Boy sent us the drop.’’ said you had something that belonged to him.

Man, please.’’ ; the man continued to plead

‘’Phat Boy?’’ Bryce said under his breath looking puzzled ; Yoo what the fuk are you talking about scrap?’’ ; Bryce asks the man.

I looked at Bryce, while he pointed his gun at the man , squinting his eye with his head tilted in confusion.

He continued ‘’Phat Boy, said you had some that belonged to him. He said he’d pay us if we took care of this.

Bryce grinds his teeth and responses;

Yeah? Phat boy? he never appeared to be a stupid man. So he sent you… Bryce continued to taunt. & you? you’re one dumb motherfuker.

Annoyed Bryce kicked him in the face. while gesturing his arm in front of my body as if he were protecting me from the man holding together his broken face. He began kicking him in the stomach repeatedly causing him to squirm while blurting out; ‘’I'm sorry man, I didn't know it was going to be you man, I promise, I was just doing a job, it's nothing personal’’ the man pleaded some more.

With no remorse.

Bryce looked down at him clicked his gun off the safety, and continued to aimed it at him. I stood there trying to process everything that's about to transpire as Bryce points the gun at the man he's about to send to the gates. I rushed over to him tugging on his arm breaking his focused aggression as I pleaded for him not to kill this man.

Bryce looked at me then looked at him and said;

‘ aigh…. I’ll just send a message instead, then pulls the trigger.

POW!

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southernvangard · 2 months

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Episode 407 - Southern Vangard Radio

BANG! @southernvangard radio Ep407! Yes y’all, it don’t stop y’all, Doe and Meeks back this week with the fresh y’all! This week is filled with shenanigans Vangardians, as our good friend C.O. The Don brought through two bottles of brown in a Porsche gift bag - for a minute we thought we might pull up to Marietta Diner after the show in a new Porsche…alas that was not the case, but nonetheless, this very generous gift meant we had THREE bottles of bourbon on deck for the evening, and boy did we take advantage. The homie Coach Da God also slid us a brand new, Krispy Kreme WORLD EXCLUSIVE from MILANO CONSTANTINE, BODY BAG BEN and JAY ROYALE - THAAAAANK YAAA and YOU WAAAAALCOME!!!!! #SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard // southernvangard.com // @southernvangard on all platforms #hiphop #undergroundhiphop #boombap

Recorded live Aug 4, 2024 @ Dirty Blanket Studios, Marietta, GA

southernvangard.com

@southernvangard on all platforms

#SmithsonianGrade #WeAreTheGard

twitter/IG: @southernvangard @jondoeatl @cappuccinomeeks

Pre-Game Beats - Millenium Jazz Music: Selections from HeatWAVs

"Southern Vangard Theme" - Bobby Homack & The Southern Vangard All-Stars

Talk Break Inst. - "Tent City Band" - Brycon

"Nobody Knows" - Killer Mike ft. Anthony Hamilton

"Me And My Thoughts" - FakeHunters ft. Savior

"Memory Lane" - FakeHunters ft. Philosophy Cole

"Inference And Hearsay" - K-Rec, Checkmate & Moka Only

"Wrath Of The Titans" - Vstylez ft. Guilty Simpson, Shabaam Sahdeeq, Skyzoo & Lil Fame

"Wise Words" - Substance810 & Clypto ft. Napoleon Da Legend

"Human Skill" - Alpha_Betic & Castle Money Beats

Talk Break Inst. - "Rodeo" - The Architect

"All For The Love" - Essa & Pitch 92 ft. Karizz

"Detropolis The Redux" - Vstylez ft. Guilty Simpson, Phat Kat, Ty Farris & Boog Brown

"2 to Da Dome" - Freddie Black (prod. Brutal Caesar, cuts Tone Spliff)

"Definite" - Godfather Don

"UPS Has My Sneakers" - Vic Spencer (prod. DJ Lord Jazz)

"Pay The Price" - Flee Lord (Prod. By Crisis)

"Mirror Pt. 2" - J. Arrr x Greeneryy

Talk Break Inst. - "Love Can Be Things" - The Architect

"Kevorkian List" - Milano Constantine, Body Bag Ben & Jay Royale ** WORLD EXCLUSIVE **

"In The Flesh" - Spoda x Wavy Da Ghawd

"Bodybag Registry" - Vic Spencer ft. Oh No (prod. Awolazcate)

"Smooth Criminal " - Termanology ft. Lord Sko (prod. Statik Selektah)

"Once Upon A Nine" - Pro Dillinger & Bucky Luger ft. Jamal Gasol

"Phon 2 Go" - Illien Rosewell

"Business As Usual" - Damien ft. Daniel Son & MidaZ The BEAST

"Fadda Figga" - Finn ft. Wizdome Bunitall

"On Swivel" - Passport Rav ft. Lord Sko (prod. Rob Viktum)

"Say The Word" - Navy Blue (prod. Graymatter)

"Glastonbury Wallabee" - Clark Connoisseurs (Supreme Cerebral & Eloh Kush) (prod. Clypto)

Talk Break Inst. - "The Ganjah Mill" - Brycon

** TWITCH ONLY SET **

"Nobody Knows" - Pastor T.L. Barrett & The Youth For Christ Choir

"Medley" - Pastor T.L. Barrett & The Youth For Christ Choir

"Like a Ship" - Pastor T.L. Barrett & The Youth For Christ Choir

"It's Me O Lord" - Pastor T.L. Barrett & The Youth For Christ Choir

SOUNDCLOUD

https://on.soundcloud.com/NUeXMR6jgDvjcFPv7(SHORT LINK)

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YOUTUBE

youtube

TWITCH

twitch_live

MIXCLOUD

#Youtube

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priokskfm · 5 months

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#MixOfDay #Podcast #Radioshow #LiveDjset Toy Tonics Radio Show 14 - German 80's New Wave Special Pt. 2 1) Grauzone: Eisbär 2) Rheingold: Dreiklangsdimensionen 3) Falco: Ganz Wien 4) Spliff: Das Blech (Ben Liebrand 12“ Remix) 5) Die Chefs: Frauenkörper 6) Carmen: Schlaraffenland 7) Starter: Part of you 8) BBB: Feiertag (Munk edit) 9) Explorer: Yellow Power 10) Instant Music: My Boy 11) Ampillas Delight: Lover Walkman 12) Explorer: Rabbits 13) Die Nervösen Deutschen: Stukas Over Surrey 14) Klick: Brauner Laalumba 15) Die Heteros: Monogamie - Kannibalismus unserer Zeit 16) Spliff: Telefon Terror (Extended 12" dance mix) 17) Exkurs: Angst www.priokskfm.online https://ift.tt/0cDGakd

#Priokskfm #mixofaday #Toy Tonics #SoundCloud

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twistednuns · 1 year

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July 2023

Four days in the Manú Rainforest. This trip really didn't start out ideal when my phone fell out of my bag, straight into the river. The crazy thing though: when we went river tubing, Ángel checked the spot again and found it! It had been in the river for two days and it still showed signs of life. Incredible. What I learned: I need to stop looking for distractions, trying to use other people to manage my emotions, and seeing my life trough a camera lens. // More good stuff: Ron teaching me Sanskrit in the van. / All the amazing plants and wildlife we saw on our daily (and nightly) jungle treks. A sloth mama with her baby. All kinds of monkeys and birds (red and green macaws, oropendulas, blue-headed parrots, even a small toucan). Ants in all colours and sizes. An agouti and a bush rat. Big spiders, a small snake and the tiniest frogs. A cayman. Ancient parasite trees, Palo Santo, erotic roots, exotic flowers. / Ángel's telescope and binoculars. / My room with a 360° view. / Regular visits from a tame peccary lady. She enjoyed scratchies behind her ears like a dog and rubbed against our legs. / That full moon night at the lake, a background of jungle noises: howling, croaking, squeaking. Magical. / Chef Jeff's delicious food. / The crazy little kitten at the lodge. / I got along very well with Agathe and Teva. They're going to send me their photos from the trip! / Lessons on hyperindependence: "You know, when I offer you help you should really take it." / Enjoying the boat ride and the view over the rainforest with low-hanging clouds. / Reading a whole book in one go on the way back.

Laura class about the foundations of Human Design. I even booked a reading with her.

Raw vegan cheesecake at Café Kula. I've tried three different ones so far!

Meeting Winni, one of the owners of SolSeed. Such an inspiration. I would love to create a space like that.

Joining a laughing circle one evening. It was an absolutely ridiculous experience. Imitation, accents, animal noises, laughing at tough life events, declaring thumb wars, pure comedy. So glad I took a hit of that spliff before the event.

Another breathwork session with my girl Ari back in Pisac. Going to higher spheres during the retentions. I didn't draw the Past Lives card again but Breakthrough and Ripeness. Afterwards we talked for a long time. About our plans and experiences, Human Design, plant medicine, this and that. I can't wait to meet her again some day.

A Human Design reading with Laura.

Painting intuitively with watercolors and charcoal. Drawing tarot cards, weaving their meaning into the painting. Explaining the ideas to the others in a sharing circle. It felt so nice to just sit down and paint, have access to art supplies on the road.

My second experiment with plant medicine at Ayasana Wasi. It was a very intimate ceremony with Magnus and Lynn from the Netherlands and our hosts Pia and Luca. I felt a lot of sympathy and gratitude for everyone. Luca's sound bath was incredible and Pia basically brought me back to reality. After the ceremony, all four cats explored the maloca and Kali (my favourite) enjoyed cuddles and conversation. My experience is quite hard to integrate because I was shown pure bliss and it felt like I'd died and come back to my human form. What is even real anymore?

Another otherworldly massage with Raphael. Dhruva had already done an amazing job the week before but Raphael really put a lot of time and love into it. I felt cared for and caressed like a cat at some point.

Vida Vegan saved me on a nasty travel day by holding on to my backpacks for a few hours! It was lovely to meet Eric and Jacqueline for the last time and eat some delicious tomato soup. Their food always looks like straight out of a Michelin star restaurant. And I tried llullucha for the first time. Enya's Sail Away on the radio. Green apple soap.

Actually being able to sleep on the night bus after a grumpy evening. Arriving in Puno (still sleeping so the driver had to wake me up), the hotel allowed me to check in at 6am. Grateful.

A boat ride to Uros, the floating islands of Lake Titicaca. Meeting two cats / taking the cat boat.

Buying strawberries, blueberries, a clementine and a lúcuma at the market. An afternoon nap, dreaming of being in the Andes.

Looking at old photos. Realising how much beauty, love and abundance there is in my life. I can't wait to go home. Anticipation.

Frank Zappa's genius.

I treated myself to another Clear Minds Meditation Club hoodie and a longsleeve from Rip'n'Dip.

Taking an early bus to Copacabana. Biting into sour tutti frutti gummy tubes - the taste reminded me of BumBum ice cream. Finally feelt like updating Instagram. Instant feedback from my friends. Sitting on the right side: The view was gorgeous. Hills, wide open fields and Lake Titicaca in the background. So many animals. Mainly sheep, alpacas and cows, but I also saw a kitty and a pig family with lots of little piglets!

I fell down on my way to the hotel upon arriving in Bolivia and hurt my knees. But I moved into my gorgeous little bungalow (stained glass windows, domed ceiling, view over the lake), lit a fire, made cinnamon tea and a hot water bottle. Ate snacks in bed/ordered food and had a video call with Do. She even shared her Netflix password with me and prescribed watching Gilmore Girls. Slow travel. I might stay another night.

The view from the waterfront. Isla de la Luna against a snow-covered mountain pass. Little ducks with pastel blue beaks. The soothing sound of the water.

Stumbling upon a cute souvenir for Do. Treating myself to two pairs of earrings and a necklace. Helping the lady in the shop change the chain, having a lovely little conversation. Learning about ametrine/bolivianite, a mixture of amethyst and citrine. Two of my favourite crystals. Now I really want to get one. A cute souvenir for myself.

Egg and cheese sandwiches. Ordering too much passion fruit juice. Getting it to go in an empty water bottle. A cherry popsicle with gelatin.

A bright and inspired morning before leaving for La Paz. A shower (hot water!), snuggling up in bed, discovering a career coach I really resonate with. Feeling light, positive, happy. Grateful, aligned, realizing that I have all that I need and more. That I need to work on shifting my focus away from the perceived scarcity and see the abundance there is in my life.

The photo Do sent me of the knot she'd finally made into a cherry stem. Mit dir ist gut Kirschenessen.

On the bus to La Paz. Super pretty views. Even seeing nandus. Listening to a gratitude mantra (Jhené Aiko - 'alive & well'). Going on a deep dive into Human Design unconscious charts. I created a birth chart for my design date and according to that my unconsciousness presents as an Aquarius (with quite a bit of Aries mixed in). I resonate so much with that!

David Bowie - Modern Love

My room in La Paz had heating and two big windows overlooking this crazy city and the mountains. I could lie right by the window and bask in the morning sun. And they had real baguette at breakfast, not only that empty, airy bread they usually serve in South America.

Walking through the streets with Rem. Eating my first tumbo at the mercado. Learning about the famous prison at Plaza Sucre where you have to pay rent but can bring your whole family. Bolivian superstition and turbulent politics. Dehydrated potatoes. We walked into a church and they had the same painting of Bisexual Jesus as that store in Belize. And the Virgen de los Remedios wore a blue and magenta dress with silver glitter stars. Catholicism really hits different in the Americas.

Accidentally ending up in a vegan restaurant with a fancy tasting menu. They served me five courses for only 100 bolivianos. I would have never expected this! And right after lunch, I went to the art museum and I was such an amazing experience! Usually I'm a bit disappointed when it comes to art museums around here but this one was top notch. Inspired.

I had fun watching a Cholita wrestling show from the balcony. The smell of sweaty plastic clothing reminded me of children's carnival parties. Now that I think of it, that was a very smell-focused day in general. Chewing gum on the bus reminding me of my teenage years, going out at night. A whiff of someone's cooking strongly reminding me of my grandma's kitchen.

Browsing the stores at the Witches' Market. They had all kinds of amulets, spells, powders and potions, herbs and incense. My backpack is full of obscure objects now. I wonder if they'll let me through customs.

I treated myself to a beautiful ametrine and a piece of an agate geode.

Only ordering food that doesn't exist on the menu in an Indian restaurant. A delicious choice. The owner called me princesa and I kinda liked it.

Warm Bounty porridge: coconut milk, dark chocolate, too much sugar.

Spending my last day in La Paz riding the teleférico up to El Alto. Amazing view of the mountains and the cemetery. Trying to find one of the famous Cholets I ran into a big parade for La Paz Day! I saw a store for Cholita skirts, browsed cheap cosmetics stores and enjoyed a bottle of cold sparkling water (I'd been searching for that for hours).

Ice-cream testing: the winner is clearly the sour fruit popsicle. Second place: a scoop of creamy cherimoya at the train station. Loser: Canela shaved ice. Tasted like the coating of Big Red chewing gum with a ton of sugar. Inedible.

I LOVED our tour through the Uyuni salt desert. It must have been one of the most fascinating and diverse places I've ever seen: crunchy white infinity / fun photos: "I'm a snack!" and asanas on an elephant trunk / finding the Bavarian flag at the salt hostel and a big Rallye Dakar sign / my lovely company - Bismarck, Leo and the girl gang: Hannah, Satoko, Tas and Verity / all the animals I saw: foxes, vicuñas, viscachas, flamingos - even a cat at Cactus Island / red wine and snacks at sunset / laughing so much together, comparing MILFs and cougars, listening to Babymetal on the road / the breathtaking vistas of the desert valleys, huge rocks, marvellous lagoons, volcanoes / a lava field that looked like the surface of Mars / bulbous green coral (?) formations / Burning Man vibes at the train cemetery, the Road to Nowhere (well, actually train tracks to Chile) / geysers and a hot spring that saved my toes from freezing off //

Stargazing in the Atacama desert. I've never had such a clear view of the Milky Way before. And for the first time, I saw Saturn through the telescope - the rings were clearly visible! There were tons of shooting stars coming down. Magical.

A cute little tienda with handicrafts made by local female artists. A lovely denim jacket and a very fluffy and adorable dog. Big boi. I cuddled and played with so many dogs in San Pedro. Highly unusual for me. Pretty ceramics and jewellery stores. Inspiration everywhere.

Witnessing an encounter of two cowboys on their horses on a street corner.

Touching a big meteorite a the Museo del Meteorito. Making a wish.

The thinnest possible crescent moon with a circular Earth shadow.

Going on a bike tour to Garganta del Diablo with Hannah. We even had to cross a river so we took off our boots and pushed the biked through the water. Quite an adventure. The walk through the canyon was longer than expected and in the end a steep mountain waited for me. I'm kinda proud of myself for turning around halfway, taking into account my bad knees and difficulties climbing down. Riding back during Golden Hour was lovely - the harsh shadows of the rock formations along the river and the desert trees made the landscape look like an African savanna in a way. We rewarded ourselves with a big batch of ice-cream.

Visiting my 40th country - Chile. Getting out of the Bolivian border scam with a firm no. Entering a different world. It's fascinating how a virtual line on a map can create such opposite realities. Chile is such a rich, western country and a striking contrast to Bolivia in many ways.

Listening to my emotions. Booking a flight home. I feel so much better already. I let all my friends know that I'm coming home and we're making plans for the summer. I need to soak up some love and sunshine. It was tough beating the fear of missing out on an opportunity to see the Galapagos islands or go diving in the Caribbean. But I'll see it as something to look forward to - now I wouldn't really be able to enjoy it anyway.

Many cats on my street in Santiago. A cat cafe just around the corner! They even offer yoga classes. My very cosy bed. Hard to leave. Entering a big Chilean supermarket. Feels like home already.

Discovering waacking, a dance style with dramatic arm movements.

Retail therapy. I bought so many pretty little things in Santiago and I love them all! Especially the lipgloss from the kids department with a glitter star snow globe on top.

The taxi driver with two Freddy Mercury figurines on his dashboard who played Living on my Own for me on the way to the airport.

Jodie Foster's space travel experience in Contact made me cry.

Being back. Hanging out with Manu, goofing around. Cuddling, making food for each other, getting way too comfortable around each other. It's so nice not to be alone for a change.

A lemon ice cream flavoured smoothie. Butterbreze and Yogurette (lemon buttermilk!).

Survival of the Thickest - what a stylish, empowering show. FUN.

An amazingly empathetic Thai massage from Ploy. I'll be back.

An ice cream walk with Raphael. Meeting Do for the first time in months. It was really good to see her!

I ordered the "kiddie party" ice cream and wasn't disappointed: two lollipops, gummy candy and rainbow sprinkles.

Being able to move back to my apartment earlier than planned. Doris helped me so much with the move! We had breakfast together at IKEA and ice-cream in LA. She defended me against my brother. Talked some sense into me. I'm very grateful! After I returned the car, Manu ordered my favourite pizza for me and let me sleep on his sofa one more time so I wouldn't have to go back to my absolutely chaotic flat.

Café Mozart, fancy drinks and the Barbie movie with the Friendzone.

#things i love #july #2023 #july 2023 #personal #present perfect

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chrancecriber · 2 years

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Radio SunLounge Romania (March 04, 2023)

23:56 User's Atmosphere - Share Your Dreams 23:50 Jen Meets Kieser Velten - Together 23:42 Blank & Jones - Happiness (Franco De Mulero Main Mix) (With Cathy Battistessa) 23:42 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 23:37 D. Batistatos - Sunset At Noon 23:34 Florent Campana, Marilyne Justin - I Am Showing Through (Original Mix) 23:30 Photo In Lounge - Have A Good Time 23:23 Michael E - Are We There Yet 23:22 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 23:18 Chris Le Blanc Feat. Liz June - Enjoy Your Life 23:13 Darshan - Listen 23:09 Man In A Room - L'entre Jeux 23:06 Weekend Players - Angel 23:06 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 23:01 Flunk - Blue Monday 22:57 Chase & Status - What Is Right 22:53 Blue Pilots Project - Vivere 22:48 Cities Of Foam - Without You 22:48 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 22:42 Daniele Nacci - Travelling Drops 22:37 Pnfa - Water Path (Original Mix) 22:30 Sub - Missions - Four Horizons 22:24 Vargo - Get Back To Serenity (Beach Mix) 22:24 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 22:19 Velvet Dreamer - A New Day 22:16 Waldeck - Make My Day 22:12 Light Of Aiden - Loving You 22:09 Superhumanoids - Bad Weather (Tropics Remix) 22:08 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 22:03 The Ls Project - Le Voyage De La Vie 21:57 Kusuma Orchestra - A Glittering Mosaic 21:54 Approaching Black, Avalon Mia - Fade Away With You 21:50 Soundset City - Come With Me (Deep Lounge Cut) (Deep Lounge Cut) 21:45 Dj Torby Feat Christina Stoeger - The Moment 21:39 Lemongrass - Magnificent 21:33 Christophe Goze - Some Day I Will 21:27 Jeff Bennet's Lounge Experience Feat. Alexandra - Sympathy 21:22 Blank & Jones - Good 21:17 3rd Force - Here Comes The Night 21:12 Newton - French Kisses 21:07 Soleil Fisher - Warm Winter (Sting Of Paradise Sunset Mix) 21:02 Gary B - Time To Slow It Down 20:58 Atthis Alcedo - Feel What You Feel 20:53 Gaba Milani - Open Your Eyes (Original Mix) 20:47 Good Chillaz - No Motion (Jazz Relax Mix) 20:47 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 20:42 Jose Delgado - Sal Rossa (Original Mix) 20:37 Polished Chrome - Beautiful 20:33 Seoan - Far From Paradise (Heaven Voices Mix) 20:28 Living Room - Underwater Love (Original Mix) 20:22 Baghira - Streams Of Love 20:16 Arrojas - La Jolie (Original Mix) 20:11 Friendly Breaks - Morning Lounge (Groovy Chillout Mix) (Groovy Chillout Mix) 20:06 Mandalay - Beautiful (7 Canny Mix) 19:59 Dos Buratinos - Control U Inbox (Take Control Remix) 19:53 Sky Sergeant - Holograms (Electric Slide Mix) 19:49 Smoove & Turrell - The Difference 19:44 Adani & Wolf - The Moment (Original Mix) 19:40 G - Spliff - Won't Part 19:34 Noise Boyz - Supernatural (The Man Behind C. Edit) 19:29 Charlie North - Wholoo 19:24 Mahoroba - City Chord (5th Avenue Mix) 19:18 Mariella Narvaez - All Night 19:14 Jane Maximova - Late In The Night (Feat. Dmitry Raschepkin) 19:10 Clelia Felix - Keep Watching The Stars 19:05 Velvet Lounge Project - Why Should I Say No 19:00 Velvet Dreamer - Crystal Water (Jjos Balearic Remix) 18:56 Stj - She Believes (Radio Version) (Feat. Liba) 18:53 Brass - Breeze 18:48 Index - Noon Hour Blues 18:44 Twentyeight Feat. Tesz Millan - Into You 18:39 Science For Girls With Renee Cologne - Violets 18:34 Jon Hopkins - Second Sense 18:29 Giyo - Reach Out Of The Darkness 18:21 Tilt - Rising Son 18:18 Bes & Meret - La Danse (Florito Mix) 18:13 Jane Maximova - A Straw 18:09 Pat Appleton - Ageless 18:09 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 18:04 De-phazz - Anchorless 17:59 Crystal - Sex Is In The Air - Psyche Lounge Mix 17:55 Beach Hoppers - One Love 17:49 Recloose - Abscence Of One 17:45 Ghostly Kisses - Empty Note 17:40 Wen - Call Me 17:34 Man In A Room & Civilian - Night Mail (Velvet Dreamer Remix) 17:29 Chris Le Blanc - Beyond The Sunsets (Ibiza Late Night Mix) 17:25 Bliss - Mivahetsek (Feat Lisbeth Scott) 17:20 Jens Buchert - 1001 Miles 17:14 Beach Hoppers - Keep Dreaming (Eskadet Moonlight Version) (Eskadet Moonlight Version) 17:08 Mathieu & Florzinho, Amroota Natu - Maha-amba (Living Room Remix) 17:04 Jazzamor - Tonight 16:57 Pacator - Tears (Marcielo Ambient Mix) 16:52 Kosta Rodrigez - Soul 2 Sell (Boosanova Chill Mix) 16:47 Waldeck - Why Did We Fire The Gun 16:43 Gingo Doren Stone - Fishing Secrets 16:40 Lasteden - Hot City Walk (Original Mix) 16:35 Dolphin Boy - Shake It Loose 16:31 Soulavenue - One By One (Feat. Shaheen) 16:31 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 16:25 Yaima - Gajumaru 16:20 Frank Borell - Alema (Step By Step Mix) 16:15 Soulstice - Andromeda 16:10 Spinne - Saxophonecheck 16:04 Don Gorda Project - Stay On Course 16:01 Consoul Trainin & Pink Noisy - Litanie Des Saints 15:56 India Arie - Always In My Head 15:52 Dreamhunter - Oude Centrum (Original Mix) 15:47 Hooverphonic - The World Is Mine (Eli Janney's Tight Remix (Edit) 15:43 Matisse & Jury Jet - Early Sunrise (Feat S Khovansky) 15:37 Max Melvin - Earth Inside 15:32 Lazy Hammock - Lost In Dreams 15:31 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 15:25 Danny Hay - Night In (Original Mix) (Original Mix) 15:21 Atb Feat. Kate Louise Smith - Moving Backwards 15:16 Paul Hardcastle - First Light 15:10 Diego Clamente - Gypsy 15:06 Peter Pearson - Drifting Off (Original Mix) 15:01 Moe Turk - What I Feel Like 14:56 Aqualux - Take Me Back (Ft Lyksa) 14:50 Jens Buchert - Dragonfly 14:50 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 14:44 Headstrong Feat. Kirsty Hawkshaw - Love Calls (Floris De Haan Mix) 14:39 Rainfairy - You-'re Not There - Brighter Than The Sun Mix 14:32 Under - Under (Morgan Page Remix) 14:30 Dave Palmer - Venezia (Love In The City Mix) (Love In The City Mix) 14:29 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 14:23 Rivera Rotation - Waterdrops 14:20 Paul Hardcastle Feat. Maxine Hardcastle - Dreamin 14:18 Deeper Sublime - Buddha Cafe 14:14 Above The Sky - India (Original Mix) 14:13 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 14:09 Lemongrass - All My Angels 14:02 York, Project Blue Sun - Crusin (Original Mix) 13:57 Leotone - Journey (Original Mix) 13:52 Tracy Diamonds & Step Away - A Pain That I'm Used To (A Lounge Tribute To Depeche Mode) 13:52 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 13:47 Merge Of Equals - Clear Blue Sky 13:42 Pascal Dubois - Deep Into The Night (Long Island Mix) 13:34 Paul Hardcastle - Unlimited Love 13:29 Michael E - Bliss You 13:24 Blackfish - Bay Of Islands 13:18 Guenter Haas - Alone But Never Lonely (Original Mix) 13:14 Corcovado Frequency - Connect 13:08 Dj Shah - Arco Iris (Chillout Mix) 13:07 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 13:04 Meadowlark - Headlights (Original Mix) 13:00 Cocogroove - Coconut Rain (Wet Summer Mix) 12:54 Lounge Traveller - Many Places 12:44 Lenny Mac Dowell - Deepest Inner (Original Mix) 12:38 Dalminjo - And She Said (Ex-girlfriend Mix) 12:33 Marcus Koch - Beautiful Day 12:28 Yuri Petrovski - True 12:24 Edo - Relaxed Love 12:19 Boerd - Blind 12:14 Riccardo Eberspacher - Sansiz Olamaz 12:10 Zelonka - Destination Moon (Elektrohandel Remix) 12:09 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 12:05 Peter Pearson - Drifting Along 12:00 Marga Sol - My Dream (Original Mix) 11:56 Shamika Cox - Te Quiero 11:52 Jens Buchert - Lichtwesen 11:51 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 11:46 Velvet Dreamer - Crystal Water (Five Seasons Remix) 11:42 Olegy - Good Bye 11:36 Astrobase - Tuesday (Original Mix) 11:31 Club Turquoise - Awakening (Original Chill) 11:26 Night Loungers - A Little Lazy Morning In Paris (French Kiss Vocal Mix) 11:21 Faro - Dreaming In Orange 11:15 Stonebridge Ft. Therese - Put-'em High (Claes Rosen Lounge Mix) 11:10 Oscar Salguero - With You 11:05 Hooverphonic - The World Is Mine 11:01 Mr Fijiwiji, Holly Drummond - Something To Hold 10:57 Ian Pooley Feat. Marcos Valle - Sentimento 10:51 Green Lemon - Voz Interior (Meditation Mix) 10:47 Riccardo Eberspacher - Osiride 10:42 Left - Under The Water 10:37 Pier-o Feat. Marga Sol - Air Of Love (Original Mix) 10:30 Christian Hornbostel Feat. Sarah Chris - Looking Back On Tomorrow 10:27 Sandra - Forever 10:21 Cane Garden Quartet - Flying With No Wings 10:15 Marina Beach (Guitar Flow Mix) - Cafe Americaine 10:07 Dimitris Manasidis - Love You For Life - Bobby Deep Sunset Mix 10:04 Olegy - Slow Confusion 09:59 Karnaval Blues - Please Go Slowly 09:54 Sunyata Project - Inner Lights (Feat. Miyabi) 09:50 Bernon - Don't Worry (Wellness For Your Soul Mix) 09:44 Gary B - A Better Life 09:39 Dominik Pointvogl - Malibou Beach (Original Mix) 09:36 Bent - As You Fall 09:33 Purrple Cat - Ghost Planet 09:29 Velvet Lounge Project - Hidden Treassure (Morton Lenco Remix) 09:22 Sunyata Project - Pi Lo Chun (Extended Mix) (Extended Mix) 09:20 C Cil - Calm & Quiet 09:15 Vargo - You're Not Alone 09:10 Emili Birdy - What You Gonna Do (Soul 2 Sax Mix) 09:05 Climatic - L'horizzonte 08:58 Danny Hay - Night In (Original Mix) 08:52 Moonwatcher - Sofa Loafer (Original Afterhours Mix) 08:46 Weekend Players - Higher Ground 08:40 Gold Lounge - Promised Land 08:35 Late Night Alumni - Summer Lies 08:30 Jasmon - Delight 08:26 Roberto Sol & Chris Le Blanc Feat Ines - Ahora 08:20 Dj Krush Feat. Zap Mama - Danger Of Love 08:14 Max Melvin - Freeze 08:10 Riccardo Eberspacher - Mi Amor Feat. Maria Teresa Pintus 08:04 Smooth Deluxe - Estoy Loco Por Ti (Ibiza Vs Miami) 07:57 Dab - The Blues 07:52 So Phat! - A Love Bizarre 07:49 Tycho - Japan (Feat. Saint Sinner) 07:43 Marga Sol - Buddhanima 07:38 Katy B - Honey (Feat. Kaytranada) 07:34 Moondust - In Between Days (Feat. Querubyna) 07:28 Man Behind C. - Pitcard (Dreamguitar Mix) 07:24 Sven Van Paapen - Love Me Slow (Smooth Vocal Flair Mix) 07:21 Ted Irens - Dreamland Trip 07:16 Jens Buchert - Helios 3 (Mind Flux Mix) 07:10 Sunset Session Group - Soulsalicious 07:09 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 07:05 Wayang - Beneath These Falling Leaves (Bali Mix) 06:57 Lemongrass - Habla Mi Corazon (Kevin Yost's Otherside Of The World Remix) 06:53 Gold Lounge - Oh La La 06:50 C.cil - Sunset 06:49 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 06:45 Villablue Feat. Juanita Grande - If I Could Tell You 06:40 Jerome Noak Feat. Al Miller - You Got Me - Thomas Lemmer Chillout Remix 06:35 Blank & Jones W. Cathy Battistessa - Miracle Man (Afterlife Mix) 06:31 Michael E - Dont Stop 06:29 Zyan Terrance - Mover 06:25 Soundset City - You Are My Angel (Smooth Vocal Lounge Mix) 06:21 Kasseo Ft. Cordelia O-'driscoll - In Your Eyes 06:17 Mazelonostra - Angels Are Coming 06:17 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 06:13 Peter Pearson - This Way To A Dream 06:08 Electric Moonlight - Spirit Of The World 06:03 Gary B - My Love 05:57 Euphonic Traveller - Pont Notre Dame 05:56 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 05:52 Jazzamor - Sometimes 05:47 Mirage Of Deep - Manhattan 3-25 Am 05:42 Marga Sol - Beautiful Morning (Seven24 & S.a.t Remix) 05:38 Medsound - Love In Your Attic 05:38 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 05:32 Suntheca Prod. - Beleza 05:28 Lounge Vargos - Feeling Love 05:22 Boot Cut Rockers - Deep In Our Heart 05:18 Marcel - Love & Desire (Feat. Jen) 05:14 Blank & Jones - Sun Starts Smiling (Eclectic Mix) 05:11 Spektrum - Gebeit - Genug (Original Mix) 05:06 Lamour (Loungematic Mix) - Cafe Americaine 05:01 Monodeluxe - All Night 04:55 Faro - Tiramisu 04:49 Reve De Cabaret - Trust Me 04:45 Ana Criado - Cant Hold Back The Rain (Dark Matters Original) 04:38 Players - Around The World 04:34 Carsten Gronholz - Do What You Like 04:29 Merge Of Equals - Don't You Know 04:24 Madita - Unspoken 04:20 Mirage Of Deep, Amethyste - Tragic Farewell 04:14 Aandra - You Are The Gold (Feat. Soul Sista Shakti) 04:08 Diario - Indigo 04:03 Simon Le Grec - I Need U (Smooth Mix) 03:57 Sharion - Pleasure 03:54 Ituana - It's A Fever 03:49 Dj Maretimo - Sky Sprinter (Smooth Operator Mix) 03:44 Evolve - Well I Gotta Story 03:41 Fascade Feat. Leigh Myles - Won-'t Make Me Give In 03:37 Style Project - Cloudy Eyes (Vocal Mix) 03:31 New Beginning - Another Day 03:28 Dharma Frequency - Kamasutra Chill 03:24 Sugar, Eva Kade, Evil T - All Around (Marsbeing Remix) 03:18 Kraak & Smaak - Naked (Feat. Ivar & Berenice Van Leer) 03:14 Vargo - Lovecore 03:10 Pearldiver - Daydream 03:06 Josif Imen Puerta - Early Beach 02:59 Nalin & Kane - Beachball (Andry Meets Schalli @ Monkey Island Remix) 02:54 Leonard Sign - Sea Of Shinas (Beauty Atmosphere Mix) (Beauty Atmosphere Mix) 02:50 Newton - Cologne City Waves 02:48 The Timewriter - The Soul Redrive 02:44 Dubphonic - Trick Of Time 02:40 Emma Hewitt - These Days Are Ours (Zetandel Chill Out Mix) 02:34 Debora Vilchez - The Words You Said (Smooth Vocal Flair Mix) 02:32 Inside Soul - Light Way (Gold Stream) 02:26 Jonas Kroon - Her Er Eg (Xerxes Remix) 02:23 Dj Rob De Blank - Love Is All Around Me - 02:19 Steven Dual - Flying (Balearic Guitar Mix) 02:14 Boerd - Blind 02:08 Solanos - After The Rain (Original Mix) 02:03 Vargo - Goodbye Is A New Beginning 02:00 Sphere - Dreamer 01:56 Dab - You & Me 01:56 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 01:50 Lukas Greenberg - Sometimes 01:46 Sade - Lovers Rock (Album Version) 01:42 Lemongrass - Sunset People 01:37 Good Chillaz - Stoned Love (Jazzomatic Mix) 01:36 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 01:31 Velvet Dreamer - Chasing The Moment 01:26 Felipe Gonzalez - No Hablas Espagnol (Original Mix) 01:21 Hotplay - Turn Around (Guitar Del Mar Mix) 01:17 Goloka - Tobacco Slide 01:13 Lemongrass - Life 01:09 Living Room - From Suspicious Mind (Original Mix) 01:04 Puch - Playground (Original Mix) 00:57 Schiller - Velvet Aeroplane 00:57 Jingle - Radiosun.ro 00:53 Lyves - Darkest Hour 00:48 Nookie Feat. Larry Heard - Paradise Tease Mix 00:43 Gary B - Ill Be Your World 00:37 Syntheticsax & Slava Gold - Memoirs (Chillout Version) 00:33 Randy Seidman, Rogerio Jardim, Tommy Cunningham - Come Back To Me (Original Mix) 00:29 Sebastian Davidson - Freefallin' (Tariq Pijning On Sax Mix) 00:25 Elektrohandel - Somnia Dulcia 00:19 Shakes Seven - This Time 00:13 Fresh Moods - Cocomilk 00:10 Inside Soul - Keyless Gate (Elevate Mind) 00:04 Michael E - Shadows & Light (Original Mix) 00:00 Living Room - Feel The Sun

#Radio SunLounge Romania #Chillout #Lounge #Downtempo #Ambient #Trance #2023 #March 2023

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peacefulfuckinarmy · 2 years

Text

Parings: Dom!Fem!Reader× Sub!Danny

Warnings: Unprotected sex, edging, crying, cockwarming-ish? Yeah

Word Count: 1503k

Unedited, tell me if you see any misspellings please!

A/N: You are watching Danny play and all the girls in the crowd loose it for him and you get jealous. Leasing to some steamy dom/sub sex

Hearts And Flowers

-Sky☁️

You've been watching Danny bang on the drums for the past hour and you still aren't bored of it.

He's still pounding on them as Josh slowly makes his way over to Jake and whispers something in his ear, then going back to his singing.

Danny is so obviously sucked into the moment, that he's not even looking out into the crowd, he's just focused on his playing.

He's biting his lip so hard your afraid he might draw blood but it's just so fucking hot you're intranced.

You can see the sweat beading down from his hair line from where you are standing and you can't wait to run your fingers through his untamed curls.

______________________

You show off your backstage pass to security and weave your way through the heaps of people.

As your basically running through the small crowded you run into a short, sweaty and particularly red Josh.

"Hey y/n" he flashes you a bright smile. "Hey Josh" you mutter out "any idea where Danny is?" You ask hoping for a quick straight to the point answer.

He cocks an eyebrow and smirks like he knows what is about to happen. "And why do you want to know that?" He crosses his arms.

You knew he was going to make a big deal out of your request so you just mimic his pose, arms crossed and head tilted with your eyebrow cocked.

The both of you stood there like that for only about 2 minutes before Josh broke and started laughing softly.

He tosses his head back into the direction of were Danny is. "He's back in his room...don't go too hard on him love." He chuckles and winks letting on your way.

Your body is moving faster then your brain can think and you're in Danny's dressing room faster than you would have been if you were walking at a normal pace.

You sling his door open to see him lounging on a blue bean bag chair smoking a joint. He lets the smoke form out of his mouth as his head falls back.

"You're here sooner than I anticipated, my love." He states taking another hit from the spliff which is slowly getting smaller from each drag.

He's humming a soothing tune that you haven't heard but once and it almost makes you forget that you're pissed at him.

"Hmmm you're a lot calmer than someone would normally be if they knew they were in trouble" you stalk towards him taking a hit from the now forming roach.

He offers you a smile and pats on the bean bag next to him for you to sit down but you reject it waving him off.

Retracting his hand he moves it to his thigh and runs his hand down it to his knee. "I'm gonna enjoy the little bit of freedom left that I actually have before we get home."

"Smart. Enjoy it while you have it. Meet me in the car in 10 minutes, don't be late or you'll make things worse for yourself." You walk out slamming the door behind you.

You're sitting in the drivers seat of the car messaging Josh who is trying to get more information out of you about why you wanted Danny so much even though he knows almost exactly why.

As you're turning off your phone and looking into the mirror checking on your makeup Danny opens the car door and slides into the passenger side seat.

"Hi" you say pointedly starting the car and pulling out of the dark, crowded parking lot. "Hey" he says reaching for your thigh trying to lighten the mood.

You grab his hand and move it to his own thigh. "Don't" you snarl at him, driving faster than the speed limit to get home as quick as possible.

After about 20 minutes of the faint radio playing classic rock music in the background of the other silent car ride home.

As soon as you pull in and put the car you walk out and into the house leaving Danny in the car alone.

Danny walks in as you are unzipping your black faux leather knee high boots and pulling them off.

"Baby, I know you're mad but please tell me what I did, I don't think I deserve this much silence." He whines out.

You huff and finish taking off your other boot and throw them at the front door. "Clothes off. On the bed. Now."

You walk into the bathroom and close the door. You hear shuffling from behind the door and you giggle at the sound of Danny being frustrated.

Finishing brushing your teeth you walk out to find a semi hard Danny sitting criss cross at the head of the bed.

"You know what you did." You say ridding yourself of your short black lace dress only leaving you in your lavender lingerie.

You knew Danny has a weakness for this set and it proves to be true when he grows harder from the sight of you.

His breathing is becoming deeper and shallower as you crawl your way into the bed.

"The crowd was fucking dying for you. They love you so much, sometimes I think they love you more than I do." You smirk.

"Hmmm I am disappointed though. Disappointed that I know you got off on all the girls ready to drop their panties if you said so." You mewl.

Your hand reaches for his rock hard, almost purple cock and start stroking it. Danny's head falls against the headboard as his hand reaches for your thighs.

You swat it away and lean forward placing a kiss on his swollen tip. "Keep them to yourself, or am I going to have to tie you up?" His hands flex at his sides and you can tell he's trying to contain himself.

You lick the slit that is dripping with precum, he whines at the contact and you feel yourself getting wetter at the sound.

"Please, please, please, please, please, let me touch you, please, fucking hell, I'm so fucking hard please." He cries out

You think it through in your head before responding. "Stop whining Daniel or I'll leave you like this, without letting you finish yourself off."

Without giving him much time to think you take him all the way into your mouth, his tip teasing your gag reflex.

"Oh fuck." Danny cries out as you start bobbing your head on him and pushing down on his hips to keep him down on the bed.

You pull off of him and take him into your hand while leaning in closer and kissing him hard and passionately.

You feel him pulsing in your hand and you can tell he is close. Your pace fastens and and his hips meeting your touch eager for a release.

His moans and cries are becoming more frequent and desperate. His hips are stuttering and just as he is about to cum you let go of him.

He throws his head back and his chest is heaving. "Whyyyyy, please l baby, I need it." He complains.

_________________

An hour later your lingerie has come off and you have brought Danny to the edge and brought him back down 6 times and he is in tears, his eyeliner from the performance before streaming black tears down his face.

"Please y/n I can't take it anymore, I- I need it so bad, please I'm- fuck it hurt so much" he cries shivering in your hand.

"I know baby, I know." You scoot forward and straddle his hips and slowly slide down onto his hard cock.

You're moving your hips at a slow pace looking into Danny's eyes, his eyeliner tears stained his face with your arms around his neck.

"I'm not going to last much longer, fuck, can touch you please?" He's biting his lip and closing his eyes.

"Yes, touch me baby," you moan out as you begin to start bouncing on him, the contact killing you.

His thumb instantly connects to your clit and your mouth falls open in pleasure, Danny leans forward and takes one of your nipple into his mouth sucking it adding to your growing pleasure.

"Fuck I'm gonna cum" you moan out. "Please, sweet girl, please cum on my cock, it'll make me cum, please" his mouth returns to your breasts taking the other nipple into his mouth.

You begin to fall apart on top of him, Danny's name is a forbidden chant falling from your lips. Clenching and pulling around him is making him twitch inside of you.

"I'm cumming, please let me cum, I can fum right? Pleaseeeee" he's crying again. "Yes, fuck it into me, cum for me baby" you moan out.

As those words come out of your mouth he's spilling inside of you and his body falls limp, completely fucked out.

You lean against his sweaty body and close your eyes. "We should really go take a shower" he chuckles out.

"We should but, I want to stay right here for now." You smile cuddling into Danny, eyes fluttering closed.

#daniel wagner #danny gvf #danny wagner #josh gvf #josh kiszka #jake gvf #jake kiszka #joshua kiszka #jacob kiszka #books & libraries #gvf smut #greta smut #greta van smut #danny smut

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taxi-davis · 10 months

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情報デスクVIRTUAL - 街へSAPPORO✔✔✔ SPRING EQUINOX and VHS Logos - Verano credit to @elfamosodemon

#music #vaporwave #audio #vaporwave edit #retro japan #tv #midnight television #the spliff radio show

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ifuckinglovestvincent · 3 years

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VARIETY: St. Vincent on Making Room for ‘Daddy’ and Taking Her ’70s-Inspired Sound on Tour in 2021

Current Grammy-nominated for best alternative album for “Daddy’s Home,” St. Vincent had a hella-holy good year in 2021, not just putting out her first new collection in four years but taking it on the road with her most satisfying tour to date, a combination of soul revue and big blowout rock show that included triumphant stops at the Hollywood Bowl and Radio City Music Hall. It was, in one way, her salute to 1970s mack daddies ranging from Stevie Wonder to Pink Floyd, but also a move toward a warmer style and sound in which, even with a Me Decade-inspired blonde look and garb, we seemed to be getting more of an undisguised Annie Clark than ever.

She also had side projects ranging from her cover of Metallica’s “Sad But True” to releasing a new electric guitar — the second in her Ernie Ball Music Man line — to starring in and co-writing a satirical feature film, “Nowhere Inn.” (See our previous talk about the movie here.) Clark talked with Variety just before the holidays about her big homecoming of a year.

VARIETY: Your tour was one of the most exciting shows of the year. What kinds of things did you have in mind going into it that were different from what you’d done on the road before?

ST. VINCENT: The tour was like: I’m going to get the sickest band in show business out on the road. Justin Meldal-Johnsen, Mark Guiliana, Jason Falkner, Rachel Eckroth, the singers — it was a real crack group of musicians. I always have kind of felt like, if you’re going to put on a show, put on a show. Especially now, I feel like we all need release. We need catharsis. We need escapism. We need to just go somewhere else, because we’ve all obviously been so cloistered. So how do I do it? I decide on the color scheme; work with my great costume designer and stylist, Avigail (Collins); figure out how to block the show… I can tell you that production rehearsals were me in the audience playing guitar and singing next to the set designer and lighting designer, calling out different cues and then blocking the singers on stage. I was directing the show but I also happened to be playing in it.

At the Bowl, I was just so thrilled that people were dancing in the aisles. I feel like that’s sort of new for my shows, and I was so thrilled that we got people up and moving.

It was warmer and very, very different from the “Masseduction” tour — still choreographed, but more like a soul revue. And you didn’t have musicians in masks, or the same kind of high-concept projections you had previously.

Totally different — I mean, looser musically, more room to improvise, more about groove and feel, less about structure and stricture. To me, this album was like beat-up leather armchair — you know, rocks, glass, spliff. That was, I’d say, a 180 from “Masseduction,” which was like, you know, bound woman as furniture [laughs] and every interaction being about some sort of subversion of power.

And this was a very different kind of vibe, and a really, really joyful, fun show to play for me. The connection with the audience was so special and magical, and we both needed it so much.

With the “Daddy’s Home” album, you had songs about people dying, and legacy and choosing whether to have children or not, and people who are in pain in different ways — very real and raw people in the subject matter, whether these were personal songs or character sketches. But there’s the element of playing dress-up a little bit with it too, whether that’s with the ‘70s visual elements or the audio. It can feel like a magic act in a way, like maybe there are diversionary tactics while you sneak in this kind of personal, cutting stuff amid the interesting visual design. Do you look at it that way at all?

No, I don’t really look at it as diversionary. I created a world musically, and could write very honestly about all of it because I’ve been on all sides of all the stories on the album. I’ve been everybody at some point in my life or another, or am now currently that person. It’s my life. But no, I don’t necessarily look at it as like a diversion. It’s more that I created a world musically, and this is how it sounds, so this is obviously how it looks as I paint the visual world with it. … You and me and Carrie (Brownstein, her “Nowhere Inn” collaborator) have had the authenticity conversation before. And to me, authenticity isn’t an aesthetic. It’s a feeling, and it’s a spirit.

The album and tour reference the ‘70s a lot, but you mastered the trick of making an album that uses all these period elements without necessarily having it end up sounding ike you’re trying to create the illusion of it having come out in 1972 whenever. So many people want to reference the ‘70s now, and sometimes it ends up being very campy, because it’s so much about the pastiche but not that much else. How did you settle in your mind that you were going to use instrumentation that sounds right out of the period, but not have it feel like it’s, like, “a tribute to mellow gold”?

Well, I guess I don’t want to be a tourist, you know. The harmonic side and the feel side of some of the stuff I was referencing is my favorite music ever made. I feel an incredible reverence to it, and I think I was trying to actually really, truly learn the lexicon. When you know the lexicon, you can take this part from the ‘70s and take this reference from right now, taking from all over the place. But I think it just kind of comes down to trying to be very in it and not go: “Isn’t this cute.” Because with the subject matter of the songs, nothing’s like that cute, I wouldn’t say.

When we talked in 2020 and you mentioned you were working on the album, you said you were listening to Sly and the Family Stone and Stevie Wonder and things like that. But I wasn’t expecting some of the Pink Floyd touches and things like that too. So you wanted to just not cover the funk aspects of that era, but touch on some other things.

Yeah. It’s like 17% psychedelic, the record, for sure. I mean, listen — I was taking a lot of mushrooms, OK? [Laughs.] It was an album of micro-dosing, you know, so this is what you get.

(Producer/co-writer) Jack Antonoff gave you his vintage electric sitar when the album was finished. Does that go into the closet, or could you imagine using it again? You change things up enough from album to album, it’s hard to imagine your next one will be filled with sitar, flute and clavinet.

That’s a spicy sauce, that sitar! I love it so much. I think I can’t use it the exact same way again, but I know it will appear somewhere. At this point, the music will just take me wherever the hell it wants to go, and I’m just along for the ride. That’s how I honestly feel.

The album also has this emotional warmth and an openness to it. Because of the imagery you’ve used in the past, if nothing else, people have maybe had an image of you as being this chilly art-rock person or something. But on “Daddy’s Home,” the addition of female backing vocals may be something that sort of helps, in a way, letting people ease into the idea that, oh, there really is some heart and soul on this. Female backing vocals maybe just automatically put that across right away.

Yeah. You know, I’d never really used other people’s voices. If there were background vocals, I thought, “Well, I’m the only one in the room; I guess I’ll just sing them.” But in this case, it really is a dialogue. The singers could do things with their voice that I can’t do within the song and the narrative. Sometimes they’re my best friend, and sometimes they’re my conscience, and sometimes they’re the angel on my shoulder.

A few brief questions about a few specific songs on the album. “…At the Holiday Party” is very apropos right now. The female vocalists at the end are kind of reinforcing you there, in that empathetic “I see you, even though you’re hiding” message, which could be a comforting message for people who are on the other end of that song during the season. Was there anything about specifically being at a party or just the whole holiday season that made you think about writing that song?

I’ve definitely been on both sides of that. I’ve certainly been the girl who’s revealing herself by the things she’s trying to hide with consumption of all kinds. But I’ve also been in the person who has seen that …. Somebody’s laughing and smiling, but you see that little crack, and you’re like, “Oooookay. I see you.” So I can write it. And to me it was sort of a feminine version of “You Can’t Always Get What You Want” for 2021. That was, in some ways. an ode to the Stones a little bit.

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These thoughts could probably be had at any party, not just a holiday party, but is there anything about this time of year that you think makes people more desperate?

Yes. Because the season is extra reflective, when it’s melancholy, it’s extra melancholy. We’re not talking about a Rose Day summer soiree. We’re talking about cold outside, end of the year — “What have you done? What are you gonna do next year?” It’s a completely different feeling, I think, so it definitely had to be a holiday party. And that’s when people are really imbibing and stuff like that.

The album ends with “Candy Darling,” an ode to a famous figure of the ‘70s who influenced your look for the album.

I just felt like Candy Darling was like an angel on my shoulder, in making the record. And so the last song on the record is saying, “Thank you for this, and goodbye.”

In “The Melting of the Sun,” you reference so many great women — Joni Mitchell, Tori Amos, Nina Simone. But I have to ask about one reference that puzzled fans, when you sing the name “Jane” about someone who “lost it, crashed her Corvette, ran into the tide in Malibu.” Is Jane a famous figure we should recognize?

Do you know what? To me, Jane is actually Joan Didion, when she was living in Malibu, in that classic picture of her in front of the white Stingray Corvette. And I tried to get a reference to her daughter Quintana Roo in there, but it just wasn’t going to to fly. I was really picturing ‘70s Joan Didion, writing about California.

[Editor’s note: This interview was conducted the day before Didion died Dec. 23 at age 87.]

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That clears that up. Let’s talk about your sense of humor a little bit. You had the film “Nowhere Inn” come out this year, which is such a funny film, but so deadpan that perhaps not everyone gets it, or at least comes in prepared for that. And there is some of that wit in the lyrics or visual presentation. Even with the song “My Baby Wants a Baby,” which is about dealing with the pressure to have children, it’s not LOL funny, and yet there is something comical as well as touching at the end when you are thinking about your legacy and how you’ll be remembered for your work, but you describe people putting that aside and asking, “Where’s your baby?” So do you feel like your sense of humor is underrated, to the extent that you have that kind of sense of play. or even ironic or gallows humor…

Yeah, I do have a gallows humor. And yeah, I think it’s probably the case that, unless you spend a little bit of time with my work, you wouldn’t know the humor in it, or you might think I take myself very seriously. I take music really seriously. But life is just a series of hilarious, demeaning calamities, and you can’t take yourself too seriously or else you’ll just perish.

I have the description of myself as the dirt bag in “My Baby Wants a Baby”: “I just want to play guitar all day, cook my meals in microwaves.” I’m not trying to rhyme, but it just is. “Only dress up if I get paid.” Like, that’s not far off! That’s like “Eh, sounds pretty good!” So I’m not painting myself in the most flattering light, and that’s fine, because it’s true. [Laughs.] But yeah, people might not get that.

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I think there’s humor in all of it. I think when people heard that the record was “Daddy’s Home” and that it was referencing my father being incarcerated, they were expecting that particular (title) song to be a scathing rhetoric. Or me weeping into a microphone. I’m not sure what it was that people thought would be the appropriate reaction, appropriate story. But my story is that all you could do is laugh. To me, that song is funny.

You’ve said that the title “Daddy’s Home” just made you laugh, and that was one reason for having that as the title of the album.

Yeah – ridiculous!

People can take one line from a press description or something and then blow it up into an overarching concept. There was a writer I was reading the other day who described this as something like “St. Vincent’s concept album about her father being released from prison”…

Oh, Jesus Christ. No! Come on. They’re wildly overestimating that part of the story. I mean, hey, it’s a record about me becoming Daddy. [Laughs.] It takes that as a starting off point and then kind of goes. But also: That doesn’t sound like very much fun! The record is way more fun than that makes it sound. “Oooh, get out the balloons and the streamers! That sounds like a good time.” Like, no… what a bummer. And then, because of the subject matter, you know, people want (that song) to be a sort of neatly wrapped-up story that is appropriately moralistic. And it’s not. It’s life, and it’s messy.

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Before asking you about your Grammy nomination: There was that whole strange Grammys brouhaha a few weeks ago about credits being taken on and off. You were nominated for album of the year — briefly — because of the song you co-wrote with Taylor Swift for “Lover” (“Cruel Summer”) being interpolated into an Olivia Rodrigo song on her nominated album, and then those nominations went away. How much were you paying attention to any of that stuff?

I didn’t know anything about any of that until my little sister sent me what the press was (saying), trying to make a big deal. It’s not anything. It’s something that the press was able to make seem like something dramatic that was not dramatic at all. You know, kind of like my concept album about my father in prison.

The Grammys have loved you before, so it’s not a surprise you would get a nomination for best alternative album, which you’ve won before. But does that still mean anything to you when you are acknowledged by your peers?

I think it’s awesome. I mean, I think the thing that the public might not realize about the Grammys is that it’s not a popular vote. You’re voted on by the people in your industry, and that’s not just the people who are on stage, with the names you’ve heard. It’s engineers, it’s writers, it’s producers, it’s composers. And so to have those people be like, “Hey, we, we see you and we appreciate what you did,” that’s a very nice feather in your cap from your peers, and lovely. There’s so many people who work in the industry whose names are not on the marquee, and we’re all in this weird grind together. And I salute them.

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#st vincent #annie clark #interviews #variety #knew she was doin the shrooms #ALL I SEE IS LAVA

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flushthethrone · 4 years

Audio

(Southern Vangard) Episode 278 - Southern Vangard Radio

BANG! @southernvangard #radio Ep278: COVID-19 Edition 65! It’s the best hip-hop mix show on the planet, so clear out your little playlists and make room for another mix and interview session this week from your friendly neighborhood Doe & Meeks. We’re wrapping up January nicely with gobs of great new hip-hop in Ep278 which also includes a mid-mix interview with our longtime friend J SCIENIDE, who is high off his new LP with Kev Brown, “STRAY FROM THE PACK” - which by the way also features Southern Vangard’s own DJ JON DOE on all scratch duties. Our Thursday interview session this week is with Los Angeles producer / DJ TONE SPLIFF and MC / producer VIC MONROE, who just dropped a collaborative EP called “MARINADE.” You can hear a bunch of joints off the project at the beginning Ep278 and get a preview of the Thursday interview session at the end of the mix. Pour it out, light it up y’all it’s that #SmithsonianGrade #TwiceAWeek #WeAreTheGard // southernvangard.com // @southernvangard on #applepodcasts #stitcherradio #soundcloud #mixcloud #youtube // #hiphop #rap #undergroundhiphop #boombap #DJ #mixshow #interview #podcast #ATL #WORLDWIDE #RIPCOMBATJACK #RIPMFDOOM

Recorded live January 24, 2021 @ Dirty Blanket Studios, Marietta, GA

southernvangard.com

@southernvangard on #applepodcasts #soundcloud #youtube #spotifypodcast #googlepodcasts #stitcherradio #mixcloud #SmithsonianGrade #TwiceAWeek #WeAreTheGard

twitter/IG: @southernvangard @jondoeatl @cappuccinomeeks

Talk Break Inst. - "Introducing" - F.F.B

"Rap for Listeners" - Vic Monroe X Tone Spliff

"Start My Day" - Vic Monroe X Tone Spliff

"Box with God" - Vic Monroe X Tone Spliff

"It Ain't Worth It" - Vic Monroe X Tone Spliff ft. Innocent? & Freddie Black

"I Swear" - Clan Destined

"Leave It To The Pros" - Kev Brown & J Scienide

Mid-Mix Interview - J Scienide

Interview Inst. - "From Da Heart" "Ghetto Voice" - F.F.B

Talk Break Inst. - "No Endz" - F.F.B

"The Crown" - Jypsy ft. Ketch P [prod. Nolan The Ninja]

"No Ghosts" - Qwazaar & Batsauce ft. Hellsent

"Pam Grier" - Jamil Honesty ft. RIM DaVillin & P.U.R.E. [prod. J Soul]

"First Hand" - Saga [prod. & cuts Tone Spliff]

"Eye Poppa" - Breeze Brewin [prod. Megalo]

Talk Break Inst. - "Just Chill" - F.F.B

"Cult 45" - Th1rt3en [Pharoahe Monch, Daru Jones & Marcus Machado]

"The Machine and TEK" - TEK ft. Conway the Machine [prod. Daringer]

"Sunkist, Pt. 2" - Hus Kingpin ft. SmooVth & Nems [prod. Stu Bangas]

"Rare Moments" - Reallyhiiim X Puzzle ft. Maf, Adonis & 448 Brad

"Battle Horn" - Passport Rav ft Boldy James [prod. Lex With The Records]

"False Evidence Appearing Real" - Chris Crack [prod. Sonny Jim]

Talk Break Inst. - "Check da Station" - F.F.B

Interview Snippets - Tone Spliff & Vic Monroe ** FULL INTERVIEW DROPS THURS 1/28 **

SOUNDCLOUD

https://soundcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-278-southern-vangard-radio

APPLE PODCASTS

https://itun.es/us/QyyX9.c/

SPOTIFY PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrspotifypodcasts

YOUTUBE

https://youtu.be/ckO0LbxC1XM

GOOGLE PODCASTS

http://bit.ly/svrgooglepodcasts

MIXCLOUD

https://www.mixcloud.com/southernvangard/episode-278-southern-vangard-radio/

#SouthernVangard #DJJonDoe #EddieMeeks #VicMonroe #ToneSpliff #Innocent? #FreddieBlack #ClanDestined #KevBrown #JScienide #FFB #Jypsy #KetchP #NolanTheNinja #Qwazaar #Batsauce #Hellsent #JamilHonesty #RIMDaVillin #PURE #JSoul #Saga #BreezeBrewin #Megalo #Th1rt3en #PharoaheMonch #DaruJones #MarcusMachado #TEK #ConwayTheMachine #Daringer #HusKingpin #SmooVth #Nems #StuBangas #Reallyhiiim #Puzzle #Maf #Adonis #448Brad #PassportRav #BoldyJames #LexWithTheRecords #ChrisCrack

#SoundCloud #music #Southern Vangard #Hip-Hop #Rap #Underground Hip Hop #Boom Bap

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honestandsincere · 5 years

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musicality

O C T O B E R 2 0 1 9 / / E L R E Y T H E A T R E ‘ S B A T T L E O F T H E B A N D S

There are certain moments in life in which one can tell are important. Even without the benefits of hindsight, you just know that whatever is happening is pivotal, memorable. Life is appreciated retrospectively until you are submerged in scenarios and situations that seem significant.

Ethan knows this is important, he's known this for a while. He's had time to mentally prepare himself for the sudden surge of dread that washes over him, the stickiness of his palms and the tsunamis of self-doubt. This is a big moment, it will be a big moment, and he does not need hindsight to figure this out. He feels as though he's in some coming-of-age Disney Channel movie his sister used to watch when she'd monopolize the television during summer vacations. Ethan's worked hard for this, he just doesn't want to play a sepia montage of childhood to understand this moment's importance.

He thinks of his first-ever music lesson, with Mr Schumer in first grade. He remembers the maracas being nauseatingly sticky and the tambourine's tiny cymbals being stuck together by some unidentifiable congealed substance. His backside was numb from being sat crosslegged on the linoleum floor, his legs tingling with pins and needles, but he remembers feeling overwhelmingly happy. The tinny ringing of the background disk hummed in the stuffy classroom air as innocently unrhythmic arms shook instruments violently, grins plastered on lunch-stained faces. Ethan tastes peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

He ran into Mr Schumer a few weeks back, in the supermarket. He was buying wine for his wife, he'd told Ethan it was their fifteen-year anniversary. This made Ethan feel old, he recalled a clean-shaven young man bringing his girlfriend into their classroom on a Friday afternoon, subjecting her to their inquisitive eyes and naively inappropriate questions. Mr Schumer knew about the band, he said he'd seen them on posters plastered on street corners, even heard the odd song on the local radio station. Apparently, he always knew that Ethan would pursue music, or at least something creative. This was strange because Ethan was never prodigal or exceptionally good, he must have been enthusiastic.

Ethan thinks about the first time he really listened to music. It was when he and his father had taken a drive out of town to fetch the Christmas tree from a family friend's farm. Grayson could barely breathe through his clogged sinuses and Cameron was helping their mother assemble a gingerbread house, too afraid to face the cold. Ethan reckons he must have been around six. Just him and his dad in their car. This was when he'd first been introduced to The Beegees, his father urging him to appreciate 'proper' music. Ethan relives the fact he was unable to comprehend why Barry, Robin and Maurice were singing in such high-pitched voices, marvelling at their ability to not sound stupid. 'I know your eyes in the morning sun' were words he'd soon know but not fully understand, as familiar as the taste of cinnamon and cloves.

"You nervous?"

His brother's lumbering entrance cracks open his blissful reverie. Grayson looks positively terrified, his face pale and eyebrows drawn inward into an unsettling crease. His frame fills the doorframe, blocking the neon lighting of the hallway. The dressing room falls dim. Ethan licks his lips in search of words but decides to shake his head anyway.

"You know, nerves are good. They mean you give a shit, and that's important."

Ethan doesn't reply. Grayson, suddenly alarmed by his silence continues. "Everyone believes in you, E. You guys have got this in the bag - like you've basically already won. Pretty much everyone in the crowd is wearing a SU t-shirt."

Ethan turns to look at himself in the mirror. Sadly, it is not framed with dying lightbulbs, it's not particularly atmospheric. He notes that he doesn't look especially nervous or apprehensive, he looks normal. Griff had told him to dress nice, Ethan does not really know what that means. He settled for black jeans and an oversized white t-shirt, he looks like himself. "If you wanna talk about it, you know, vent and like let everything out, you can-" "I'm fine, Gray." "That's the kind of shit nervous people say." "I'm not nervous." "OK," Grayson does not sound very convinced, he rolls his eyes at his brother's stoicism, "Griff and Manny have gone for a drink." "I know." "Are they planning on getting drunk or something?" "They're getting coffee." "Oh."

Ethan runs a tattooed hand through his hair, purposefully dishevelling it to his desired look. He gives himself another glance in the mirror, then turns to sit on the fake leather couch the venue has provided them, crossing one leg over the other. Maybe he should have accepted Griff's invitation to join them on their venture for coffee, he feels encased in the grimy walls of their dressing room. Grayson appears jittery; he fiddles with the signet ring on his index finger, twisting it relentlessly. This is his first time backstage and it shows.

"Mom and Cam are in the audience," he says once he's bored of his heirloom jewellery. "Mom's here?" Ethan can't tell whether the knowledge of his mother's presence in the crowd makes him feel better or worse. "In merch and all." "Jesus."

Ethan imagines his mother being thrown about in the sweat-drenched mosh, her perfectly styled hair getting tousled by rambunctious, inebriated youths. He can picture her grimace, grinning through the pain for the sake of her son, singing words she's not too fond of but were written in her garage. She never really wanted him to pursue the band, she didn't think it would amount to anything worthwhile; a trio of slightly overzealous boys writing songs about girls who listen to The Smiths and drink vodka straight. Ethan's mother loves him, she wants the best for him and until the video of the boys performing a Beatles song when viral on YouTube, she had assumed law school was the way to go.

"Don't let Manny curse," Grayson's eyes are wide with trivial fear. "I can't make any promises."

It's incredibly naive to assume that Manny won't speak profanely onstage, it's very rare that he does not. Being on the synthesizer, he is restricted from engaging with the crowd the same way in which Griff, their frontman can. Manny has developed an affinity for screaming various explosives into his mic as the beat drops in their more upbeat songs, grinning wide with unabashed pride as the audience cheers in response. Both Ethan and Grayson know their mother will not be impressed, it's almost as though they are constantly trying to prove to her that this was the right decision. Letting them move to Los Angeles to follow their dreams was not an easy thing for her to do, they knew this all too well.

"Do you know which song you're gonna play?" Grayson moves to perch himself against the precarious dressing table, his broad frame covering the mirror entirely, "Probably There's a Reason Why." "Nice," he elongates the vowel. "It's the video that has the most views, we're assuming that it's the one that people are most likely to know." "Smart move."

Griffin Fraser is trustworthy. Of all people, Grayson Dolan would know this. When he scuffed his knee on the kindergarten tarmac on their first day of school, to when his collarbone popped out on the football field during their championship game, Griff was there. With floppy hair and a tendency to speak almost irritatingly slowly, Griff has always been a hit with the ladies, swanning his way through school at the top of the hierarchy. As Grayson's best friend and Ethan's bandmate, it's almost as though he's their triplet - a third Dolan brother. His voice sounds like the lovechild of a Gallagher brother and an indistinguishable eighties superstar that everyone's uncle adores. Griff calls the shots and nobody complains.

"What are Patchwork gonna play?" "I overheard their Stefan talking to one of the runners, I didn't recognise the song's name. That can't be a good thing."

Ethan shakes his head in denial, Patchwork are good. LA natives with catchy melodies and heavy bass, they're popular at house parties and with those lighting spliffs in their parents' basements. Ethan listens to them himself, he likes their stuff. With three edgy musicians oozing sex appeal and singing about problematic boyfriends and systematic sexism, they are always crowd-pleasers. This battle had become a war as soon as El Rey had announced that the competition would pit Sunday’s Unrest (Ethan’s band) against Patchwork. Things get personal when bands are compared, particularly when they are familiar with one another. Ethan is too familiar with Patchwork. Too caught up in figuring out whether this familiarity is a blessing or a curse. "I wouldn't worry about them, E." "This is a competition, I'm supposed to worry." "Not if you're the best band." "That's not up to you to decide." "Unfortunately."

There's a laugh from outside. A loud, ferocious female laugh that has Ethan and Grayson sharing a confused look. She waltzes into the room without knocking on the opened door, her hair fanning behind her. "No way were you just listening to our conversation," the younger twin groans, running a hand over his face. "This is a competition," she mocks, a smirk taking over her flushed face and Ethan wishes he doesn’t recall how her lips taste, "I'm supposed to eavesdrop."

Ethan rolls his eyes at her, not being able to believe the fact he hadn't seen this coming. The intimidation tactic. Sending Y/N Y/L/N into their dressing room as a means of psyching the band out, getting into his head. Dangling the most brilliant prize in front of him, only to snatch it away with his own regret. It’s just him and her. And his brother. "Nice to see you, Y/N," he deadpans, untangling his legs and sitting upright on the couch. "You too, E," she leans against the doorframe and crosses her arms over her chest.

Y/N Y/L/N could easily be the face of her generation. She's just too cool. In a worn looking Paul McCartney T-shirt and a black miniskirt, Y/N exudes confidence. Her effortlessly messy hair has been tucked behind her ears, showing an array of silver studs in her lobes. An embodiment of edgy, the perfect frontwoman. Patchwork burst onto the music scene a few years ago, garnering attention with their memorable choruses and ability to soundtrack melancholy lyrics with an upbeat melody. Y/N, a personable and eccentric vocalist and guitarist, is venerated by many a journalist. Her interviews go viral online as she giggles and charms her way through somewhat tricky questions, always relatable and consistently loveable. There's Maria on the drums. She's rather quiet, not usually partaking much in press events but is gorgeous nonetheless, in a mysterious nobody-can-tell-what-she's-thinking-but-they-want-to-know-everything-about-her kind of way. Sara is on bass, she's the funny member of the band, hilariously clumsy and adorable. Her self-deprecating sense of humour makes her a hit with audience members as she cracks jokes at her own expense during their sets. Patchwork are the whole package, people either want to sleep with them or be them. It's almost irritating how perfect they are.

"How've you been, Y/N?" Grayson asks politely, cocking his head to one side as though the analyze her every detail. "Not too bad, I'm a little nervous though," there's an edge to her voice that sounds sincere, Ethan wants to feel sympathy for her because he can empathize wholeheartedly. But, she's competition and he desperately wants to detach any feeling from her. Grayson nods his head slowly, unsure of what to say. It's as though he doesn't want to offer her comfort in fear that it might give her a sudden boost of confidence which, in turn, would lead to Patchwork winning the competition. Is he a sadist?

"What song are you guys playing tonight?" Y/N looks at Ethan almost hopefully. He figures there's no harm telling the truth, "There's a Reason Why." "I like that one." "Yeah, me too."

Grayson senses some uneasiness in the room, as though they're dancing around a topic that he is utterly unaware of. It's like they're communicating telepathically or something. He feels a slight pang of jealous, telepathy is his and Ethan's thing. "What about you, Y/N?" he asks, despite knowing the answer. "If I Could Change Your Mind," she shrugs, "it's kind of an old one." "I know it," Ethan says with a certain intensity that makes her pout a little, her bottom lip jutting outwards ever so slightly. "I expect to see you singing along then," Y/N says, looking at him intently before turning on her heel and walking out through the opened door.

"May the best band win!" she calls from down the corridor.

---- D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8 / / A N U N K N O W N B A R I N L A

The room is gently spinning. The edges of objects like tables and chairs are soft and blur into one another. This is a suitable state of tipsy. Appropriate. Enjoyable but sensible, knocking the edge off. Ethan, Manny and Griff are celebrating. Charlamagne just went gold and they could not be happier. They're not even twenty-one but their management (consisting of a middle-aged man named Stefan) snuck them into this indistinctive bar downtown, buying rounds of drink and clapping each of the boys on the back.

"We've made it," Manny slurs, "We've actually fucking made it. Shit. Fuck." "I know," Griff's eyes are wide and he looks as though he's seeing in colour for the first time in his life, "this is insane." "Really insane," is all Ethan can manage.

He sips at his whisky, unable to distinguish whether he enjoys the burn it leaves in his throat. He's never gone out drinking before, only ever passed around a bottle of wine or gotten pissed of Manny's dad's beers in their basement. This is what being a rockstar tastes like, he thinks. Ethan called Grayson a few hours ago to tell him the news. Then he'd called his mother and then his grandmother and then his aunt and then he'd shoved his phone into his back pocket and shaken his head in disbelief. The song he's written. The song he'd shown Griff and asked for some help with. The song Manny said was shit, to begin with, but then actually really liked once they got to play it. Charlamagne. Gold.

"We're fucking famous," says Manny, puffing out his chest a little. "Sort of," Ethan half laughs. "Three boys from New Jersey with weird music tastes," Griff muses, "this is the kind of shit they make movies about." "Indie movies," Ethan clarifies.

He lets his eyes roam across the room for a second, dancing over the warped figures in his drunken haze. And that's when he sees her. The girl he'd hooked up with within the first month of moving to Los Angeles. The one with the weird taste in music like him, with the messy hair and wide smile and obnoxious laugh. It had been at Griff's apartment, (it was essentially a room in an almost dilapidated building, Griffin used words like 'rustic' and 'charming' in order to describe it) she'd flirted nonchalantly with him and he was slightly enamoured. Ethan thought she was perfect; her snide remarks at Manny's bad jokes, the way she and her bandmates acted like sibling rather than colleagues and the way she told him his Jersey accent was impossibly strong. Ethan doesn't think he has an accent. They'd vanished into Griff's 'bedroom', high on adrenaline and Manny and Sara's secondhand smoke. Neither of them was intoxicated, and yet the night is a blur of tangled limbs and sheer excitement with flashes of clarity in her laugh and smile.

Y/N Y/L/N.

She's here with her band too, he remembers that Stefan is also their manager. They are good. Stitchwork? Crochet? Patchwork. "Holy shit! It's Maria! And Sara! Fucking hell, Y/N!" Manny yells, drawing the attention of all the drinkers in the velvet-adorned room.

The three girls seem so glide towards them, catching eyes and throwing smiles in all directions like confetti. Ethan notices that Stefan catches them before Patchwork meets Sunday's Unrest. Their manager is gesticulating wildly, causing Y/N to chuckle, Maria to snort and Sara rolls her eyes mockingly. He thinks maybe Stefan is warning them of the state of the boys' drunkenness as if to preface their meeting with a few words of caution. Ethan figures this is sensible.

"Get over here!" Manny howls, waving his heavy arms above his head like he's drowning in a cola and Bacardi riptide. "If it isn't Captain Fuckboy and his devout followers!" Sara retorts, swaggering past her manager and straight towards the boys' booth. Griff's eyebrows draw inwards, "Sara, are you pissed?" "Pissed off," she shrugs, folding her arms over her leather-clad chest and glaring at Ethan Dolan with intensity.

Shit.

"Oh," Manny is as smug as a younger sibling, grinning at Ethan with little camaraderie, "you're talking about Ethan." "You know I am." "Listen, neither Manuel or I am responsible for our bandmate's endeavours," Griffin attempts to sound unfazed. Ethan has nothing to say, he feels his cheeks heating up with what could be embarrassment or shame, but he's reached the stage of drunkenness in which all emotions bleed into a melancholic mess.

Sara ignores both of the floppy-haired boys, her stare focusing on Ethan, "You could have called her, or texted her. She really liked you."

Ethan Dolan is not a douchebag. He does not mess girls around, he never has and doubts he ever will. But he slipped up when it comes to Y/N Y/L/N. To say he is intimidated by her is a pathetic excuse, but it's the closest he can come to an explanation. Guys like him do not get with girls like her, she's too cool. He was scared, terrified of his imminent failure when it comes to dating. So he decided it would be best if he pretended their encounter never happened. It gave him peace of mind for maybe an hour or so. "I didn't think Y/N wanted to pursue anything," is what comes out of his mouth, his voice sounds alien.

"You're a dick, Ethan."

----

O C T O B E R 2 0 1 9

Grayson Dolan waits until the girl in the Paul McCartney t-shirt is out of earshot. He listens to the rhythmic clicking of her ankle-boots on the hallway floor, hearing them fade until he and his brother are sat in silence. "Remind me when you wrote the song," he says. "Excuse me?" "Remind me when you wrote There's A Reason Why." "I don't know, man. Like this time last year?" Ethan knows exactly when he wrote it, he can tell you which room it was written in. "Right," his brother doesn't sound convinced.

It's about Y/N. It's blatantly obvious that Ethan Dolan wrote the song about her. Or at least about that night in the unknown bar, avoiding her the whole time they were there. It's about how she tried to make conversation with him, asking him if he's been busy, fishing for clues as to why he never replied to her texts or answered her calls.

Y/N does not chase anyone, she gets chased. Ethan Dolan was the only exception. He was worth chasing. She reached out to him maybe five or six times, kicking herself when she'd been ignored. She's better than that and she knew it.

Ethan puffs air through his lips, drumming his palms quickly on his thighs and stands up. He stretches his tense arms out in front of him, shaking away his apprehension. This is too important, this opportunity is too big. He can't let himself fall into the chasm of anxious thoughts, all the 'what ifs' and 'maybes'.

"I'm gonna go find Griff and Manny," he rasps.

----

D E C E M B E R 2 0 1 8

He can't feel his hands. He watches his fingers press down on the stiff keys, he hears the sound it makes. But his hands are numb. His head spins, his chest burning with the leftover alcohol. He'd staggered into his apartment, making a beeline for his bedroom. Ethan needs to write, or at least map out a melody for a tune that's swimming around in his head. He's a drummer by nature, rhythms are practically ingrained in his identity, but this melody is so salient in his mind that he has no choice but to get it out.

'There's a reason why I never returned your calls I wish I could forget it all But I never returned your calls 'Cause I'd fall in again'

He hums as he mixes various chords. The electronic ring of the Casio comforting his dissociated haze. Seeing her has brought it all back, the fear. Ethan needs her out of his system and the best way to dispel her lingering legacy is through his lyrics. He won't sing them because he's not a singer, he can't slur notes together smoothly the way Griffin can, his pronunciation is not as seductive or as nice to listen to. Ethan carries the tune. Pulling out his phone from the back pocket of his jeans, Ethan records the succession of chords he's just haphazardly composed.

G. C. G. C. D. C.

It's lighthearted, it sounds like a synth-pop song that his mother would hum in the car as she drove him and his brother to football practice. The chords are simple and memorable, but his lyrics need to explain what he's feeling. How he has felt.

'Don't talk I'd have run to kiss your mouth Is it me Or just a dream that never dies?'

The words are forming effortlessly, flowing into one another without much of a struggle. Ethan reminds himself that he is very drunk and it is very likely that this sounds really awful, but he keeps going, somehow recording a few verses and the skeletons of a bridge. He likes it. He'd listen to it if it was being played on the radio, maybe he'd even turn it up. Manny could work wonder with some kind of synth-riff melody hybrids he conjures up when they rehearse. Griff could add some quirkiness with his performance, maybe changing up the melody a little to suit his voice. Ethan plays the recording back to himself, cringing at how bare his voice sounds. It's raspy and sonorous, but the melody is clear and is catchy. He taps out a beat on his legs, imagining the song post-production. He closes his eyes, trying his best to picture the band onstage, seeing the faces of thousands of enthused fans belting the lyrics he's just written. The music video would have to be eighties inspired, perhaps they could hire some dancers or something or film it in a proper studio.

He's tempted to crawl to his drum set that currently lives in his living room. He wants to play on top of the recording, hear it properly. Ethan's limbs are too heavy, his body weak with tequila and guilt. How was he to know that Y/N actually liked him? Jesus, he is stupid. Ethan wants to apologise to her but he knows that would make him look bad, desperate even. As if sliding back into her text messages to say sorry for pretending their little rendezvous didn't happen would somehow make her want him again. Sorry is a great word, but it only goes so far.

Ethan must have fallen asleep at the keyboard. He wakes the next morning to light streaming through his opened blinds. Head pounding, nausea pulsing through him. He needs water and an aspirin.

This song is a fucking bop.

------

O C T O B E R 2 0 1 9

She's gorgeous. Otherworldly in the misty blue lights of the stage. She looks back at Maria, watching the brunette hits out a count of four with her sticks. Sara strums a chord, enticing the audience into the introduction of their song; a twang of the guitar and a heavy beat. On each accent, she throws her head back, her grin lighting up her face. The lights change colour to dusty pink, framing the girls and encapturing their beauty. Everyone has been sucked into their world, desperate to live in it.

Y/N presses her lips to the mic, tucking her hair behind her ear to keep it from her eyes. She glances at the people lining the front of the stage, smirking knowingly. She has them wrapped around her finger. On the cue of her voice, the beat drops. Maria pushes on with the pounding rhythm, hypnotizing and sharp. Sara quickly plucks a riff that has even Manny cheering.

'No Please don't cry I've never done this before Drove a million miles'

She's breathing melodically as if music pours from her soul. Y/N doesn't even look like she's trying, hitting every punch of the beat with her body. Swaying side to side as she fills the auditorium with high tempo melancholy. Ethan is so in awe of her. He wants her presence, wants to be that good of a performer. He's jealous of Maria's ability to keep perfect time, even as they play live. He wants to play the bass guitar with Sara's dexterity and verve. He wants Y/N.

'If I could change your mind I would hit the ground running It took time to realize And I never saw it coming Forgive my lying eyes Gonna give you all or nothing If I could change your mind I could make you mine, make you mine'

It's a great song. Like Grayson had mentioned earlier, it's not one he recognises. However, as he looks out into the mismatched faces of the audience, he notices that the majority of them seem to know the words. People are singing along, screaming and dancing. He wonders if his mother is enjoying, if Cameron is impressed. He certainly is.

"They're good, E," Grayson yells over the amps from behind him. "I know." "I wonder if this one's about you."

He does not have to turn around to see the smirk on his brother's face. This song is not about him, Y/N would never immortalise him in music. He's not great enough. There’s nothing to say that Maria or Sara did not write this song, it’s not exactly explicit. This song has a deep sentimental value to someone, his relationship (if it can even be called that) with Y/N is not one of deep sentimental value. Yes, it’s the main cause of all his daydreams - but it’s not love. He loves the idea of being in love with her, reckons he probably could fall in love with her within a few days. It’s utterly terrifying when it’s put into practice.

She turns to the wings, grinning at Manny who is bopping fiercely along to the tune. It’s as if the world presses the fastforward button on its remote when her eyes meet his. Everything rapidly speeds up, it’s almost headache-inducing. She’s narrowed her glitter-lined eyes gently, as if to focus on his features, to gauge whether or not he’s enjoying her performance. Y/N brings the mic to her lips, juts out her hip and sings to him. Regardless of whether or not the song was written about him or even written by her, this bit stings;

‘But if I was to say I regret it Would it mean a thing?’

Battles in the music world are dangerous, in the same way they are common. Battles in the music world with unexplored and unfinished feelings are incredibly perilous, in the same way they are uncommon. Ethan takes a deep breath.

------------

Hello! Long time no see! I’ve been so confused recently, but I was inspired by the lovely @ethanhes‘ post of a sort of band-inspired collage. I hope you guys like this! I’ve used Blossoms and HAIM’s music for each band, I just really love the vibe of the music and the lyrics seemed too appropriate! Lots of love x

#ethan dolan #ethan dolan imagine #ethan dolan fanfic #ethan dolan one shot #ethan x reader #grayson dolan #grayson dolan imagine #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan one shot #grayson dolan x reader #dolan twins #dolan twins imagine #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins blurb #dolan twins oneshot

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porlockstompf · 5 years

Text

ALL BOMBS 2018 my favourite platterstompf

01 up-tight "live in europe" [cdr & k7]

02 france "à la recherche de la flexitude du temps" [cd]

03 dylan carlson "conquistador" [lp]

04 kawaguchi masami's new rock syndicate " now" [lp] + masami kawaguchi "13.3.18" [dl] + masami kawaguchi, fukuoka rinji & anla couris "ramen en los parlantes" [cd] 05 bardo pond / plastic crimewave syndicate "live amen" [k7] + bardo pond "volume VIII" [lp] + bardo pond & major stars "this inner light b/w s.l.t." [7"] + curanderos "on the glaze b/w danger bird" [lathe cut 12"]

06 hôpital de la conception the electric rockin' chair [k7] 07 skullflower "werecat powers of the crossroads at midnight" [lp] 08 ulaan markhor "helm" [k7] 09 roy montgomery "day of the lords" [lathe 8"] + roy montgomery "suffuse" [cd] 10 demdike stare & il gruppo di improvvisazione nuova consonanza "the feed-back loop" [k7] + demdike stare "passion" [dl] + demdike stare "stitch by stitch part IV (back)" [k7] ...

11 bridget hayden "pure touch only from now on, they said so" [lp] 12 brian ruryk & schakalens bror "2 guitars country style" [k7] 13 hex waves "canine rising" [k7] 14 altaat "maa on täysi" [k7] 15 yann gourdon "15.10.15" [cd & dl]

16 ian william craig "tresholder" [lp] 17 stephen o'malley & anthony pateras "rêve noir" [cd] 18 sunn 0))) downtown la rehearsal rifftape march '98 [lp] (2018)° + °sunn 0))) live @ echoplex los angeles 181118 [dl] (2018)° 19 wet tuna "great wet wonders" [cdx2] + wet tuna "livin' the die" [lp] + wet tuna "mountain busted" [cdrx7] 20 the opawa 45s "silver screen guitar" [k7] + the opawa 45s "the ostrich triptych" [dl] + the opawa 45s "live at lyttelton coffee company" [dl]

21 pro et contra "pro et contra " [cd] 22 the dead c "on the outbreak of civil war b/w good consul is punished [7"] 23 mainliner & expo 70 black hole bw totality wormhole [7"] + mainliner / plastic crimewave syndiate "no mellow" [k7] 24 midnight mines "stations b/w radio dub" [7"] + midnight mines "invisible insurrection of a million minds" [k7] aka midnight mines "live @ cafe oto 200517" [dl] 25 buñuel "the easy way out" [lp]

26 ilta hämärä "velloa" [7"] 27 fadensonnen "brut" [k7] 28 fukuoka rinji & michel henritzi "desert moon' [cd] 29 slift "la planète inexplorée" [12"] 30 black helium "primitive fuck" [lp]

31 keiji haino & konstrukt a philosophy warping... [live] [lp] + keiji haino & sumac "american dollar bill..." CF 2017 !!! + keiji haino & musqis "keiji haino & musqis" [cd] 32 wooing "daydream time machine" [7"] 33 fuji/ junzo "live at de audio plant" [k7] + fuji & suzuki junzo "live at de audio plant plus" [dl] 34 leda "japanese key b/w the silent contest" [7"] 35 the caretaker "everywhere at the end of time stage IV" [lpx2] + the caretaker "everywhere at the end of time stage V" []

36 albedo fantastica "culvert & starry night" [cd] 37 giegue "'77 tachikawa trip [hadaka no rallizes tribute]" [dl] + giegue "noise guitar pop" [ep] [dl] 38 the band whose name is a symbol "basement blowouts" [lp] 39 mark lanegan & duke garwood "with animals" [cd] + mark lanegan & duke garwood "mescalito" [10"] 40 suzuki junzo & ikuro takahashi "live phantasmagoria vol I helluva lounge 27/11/16" [cdr]

41 comacozer / blown out "in search for highs volume I" [cdr] 42 parades against parades "driving me stoned" [lp] 43 headroom / dire wolves (just exactly perfect sisters band) "split" [lp] 44 hastings of malawi "visceral underskinnings" [lp] 45 barth, hjorthol, & åm "the broken vessel" [cd]

46 "in death's dream kingdom" [lpx4] 47 le réveil des tropiques "big bang" [lp] 48 urthona "destruction blues" [cd] + urthona & the asterism "murmurations" [cd] 49 brant bjork "mankind women" [cd] 50 antony milton "(don't have) much to say" [dl]

Your Annual Bowery Eclectic:

& The Usual Baker Street Irregulars:

many many rereleases & the odd compilation (short list):

01 high rise "high rise II" [1986] [lp & k7]

02 public image ltd "the public image is rotten (songs from the heart)" [cdx5 & dvdx2] 03 einstürzende neubauten "grundstück" [2004] [lp] 04 earth "the bees made honey in the lion's skull" [2008] [lpx2] 05 ian william craig" a turn of breath [extended]" [2014] [lpx2]

06 tappa zukie "dubshot zukie" [dl] 07 bauhaus "bela lugosi's dead: the bela session" [1979] [lp/cd] 08 brainticket "zürich/lausanne" [1983-1984][cdx2] 09 snatch "snatch" [1983] [lp] 10 new york dolls "personality crisis: live recordings & studio demos '72-'75" [cdx5]

11 "step forward youth roots masters from the "punky reggae party" [cdx2] 12 augustus pablo "dub from the hills" [dl] + augustus pablo "presents dj's from 70's to 80's" [1997] [cd] 13 international harvester "remains" [1968-1969] [lpx5] 14 "birth work death - work, money & status in country music" [lp] 15 "hillbillies in hell volume 666 country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [lp] + "hillbillies in hell volume 777 country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [cd] + "hillbillies in hell the rapture country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [cd] + "hillbillies in hell the resurrection country music's tormented testament '52-'74" [cd]

16 simply saucer "cyborgs revisited" [rec '74-75] [1989] [lpx2] 17 the heads "rkt!" [1998-2002] [cdx2] 18 thisquietarmy "unconquered [10th anniversary edition]" [2008-2018] [cdx2] 19 ut "ut live at the venue" [rec 1981] [lp] + ut "early life" [1987] [lp] 20 siglo xx "box" [1982-1983] [lpx3]

most pleasing purchases:

01 cottonwoodhill "places of light b/w poetry" [1970] [7"]

02 batkin brothers "mai... b/w tropical" [1970] [7"] 03 worst "mmxvii" [2017] [k7] 04 shit & shine "bass puppy" [2010] [12"] 05 sister spliff & demon dread "marchena city dub" [1980] [lp] / king blood "eyewash silver" [2010] (2015) [cd]

gigs:

bardo pond live @ magasin4 040618

bootlegs:

01 bardo pond “live @ 100 club london 060618″ [dl] + bardo pond "live @ union pool brooklyn 170218" [dl]

02 van morrison "the catacombs tapes / live in boston '68" [dl] 03 einstürzende neubauten “live @ helsinki 241118″ [usb]

favourite record sleeve:

surprise ;)

the dream dates “the mess you’re in b/w search & destroy” [7’’] (1979)

radio:

... sadly, 2018 saw brian turner leaving wfmu ...

podcasts:

01 jim sclavunos "conway savage tribute @ soho radio 240918" [dl]

2018 summer hit:

your annual reminder:

youpi youpi yeah “youpi youpi yeah” [cd] (2010)

humorstompf:

01 hans teeuwen "real rancour" / "echte rancune" [dvd & dl]

ex aequo 01 stewart lee "content provider" [dvd]

02 simon munnery "renegade plumber" & "sings soren kierkegaard" [gfs] [dl] 03 jeroen leenders "jeroen leenders experience" [soundcloud] [dl] 04 tony law "lost show" [gofasterstripe] [dl] 05 james acaster "repertoire" [netflix] ex aequo luke mcqueen "the luke mcqueen pilots" [bbc]

dire times... the world needs lou sanders more than ever !

bilderstompf:

01 "here to be heard: the story of the slits" [dvd & scrapbook]

02 suburra "season I" [netflix] 03 counterpart "season I" [starz] / 12 monkeys "season IV" [syfy] 04 bas heijne "onbehagen" [vpro] 05 altered carbon "season I" [netflix] / queen of the south "season III" [usa network]

06 bron/broen "season IV" [sveriges tv / danmark radio] 07 endeavour "season V" [itv] 08 commissario monalbano "season XII" [rai 1] 09 killjoys "season IV" [syfy] 10 inside n°9 "season IV" [bbc] / david rodigan "reggae fever" [bbc]

favourite blog:

best interwebs:

... a rare glimpse of the true potentiality of the interwebs ...

may your home be safe from tigers, x leroy

HNY & stay hungry!

the long list:

adam stone & dead sea apes "warheads" [cd] alvin lucier "criss cross b/w hanover" [lp] + alvin lucier "so you (hermes, orpheus, eurydice" [cd] amm "an unintended legacy" [cdx3] amt & the melting paraiso ufo "reverse of rebirth in universe" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "hallelujah mystic garden part one" [lp] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "electric dream ecstasy" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "paralyzed brain" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "the man who fell to us live in nagoya 2017" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "either the fragmented body or the reconstituted soul" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo "sacred & inviolable phase shift" [cd] + amt & the melting paraiso ufo vs lee van cleef "psychic battles vol V" [lp] anna von hausswolff "dead magic" [cd] black spirituals "black access/black axes" [lpx2] black thumb "lucy leave [syd barrett]" [dl] bonnie 'prince' billy & roadie "hope is all i'm holding" [dl] + will oldham "songs of love & horror" [lp] + bonnie 'prince' billy / naked shortsellers "the best of folks b/w harbour men" [7"] + bonnie 'prince' billy "blueberry jam" [dl] boris "eternity - dear 25th anniversary tour live 28-12-17" [dl] + boris "phenomenon's drive" [12"] br'lâab "other people's crimes" [10"]

campbell james kneale "naamah" [k7] + campbell james kneale "o blessed fornicatrix" [k7] + campbell james kneale "timid seamstress" [k7] + campbell james kneale & anla courtis "one-1-I b/w two-2-II" [7"] chris forsyth & the solar motel band "rare dreams: solar live 2.27.18" [dl] connorparty "koko [keiji haino]" [dl] cousin silas & the glove of bones "spirits of afrodubism" [k7] dan melchior "the folksinger" [lp] + dan melchior & sigtryggur berg sigmarsson dark arc [lp] + dan melchior & dylan nyoukis "unusual dealers" [cdr] daniel bachman "the morning star" [cd] david nance group "peaced & slightly pulverized" [cd] --- "110 blues" --- + david nance group "stalled out b/w profit" [subscriber 7"] dhidalah "moon people" [k7/dl] ecstatic vision "under the influence" [cd] efrim manuel menuck "pissing stars" [lp] einstürzende neubauten "live in helsinki nov 24 0529pm" [usb stick] elkhorn "lionfish" [k7] + elkhorn "live fish" [cdr] eugene chadbourne "solo guitar volume 1 1/3" [dl] + eugene chadbourne "29.10.17" [dl] + eugene chadbourne, beresford & ward "pleasures of the horror" [lp] flame 1 [aka burial & the bug] "fog bw shrine" [12"] fuji yuki, michel henritzi, & harutaka mochizuki "shiroi kao" [cd]

gnod "chapel perilous" [cd] + gnod "be aware of your limitations" [12"] grouper "grid of points" [lp] heather leigh & peter brötzmann "crowmoon (the auckland concert)" [cd] + heather leigh & peter brötzmann "sparrow nights" [cd] + heather leigh "throne" [cd] "hexadic III" [lp] hibushibire "official live bootleg vol III" [cdr] + hibushibire "official live bootleg vol IV" [cdr] honey radar "psychic cruise" [7"] + honey radar / john peel "middle class revolt bw the fall as introduced by john peel" [7"] aka chunklet industries a mark e smith tribute single [7"] + honey radar & henry owings "wind-up man b/w 172 seconds over louisville" [7"] + honey radar & gotobeds "no present" [7"] ilta hämärä "himmeä kaihoisa sininen" [lp] it hurts "estuary" [lathe 8"] jean dupuy "all of the time: sound works 1969-2017" [lp] jo meares "back to the world" [cd] jjuujjuu "zionic mud" [lp] john zorn "insurrection" [cd] jozef van wissem "we adore you, you have no name" [cd] julia kent, jean d.l. "the great lake swallows" [cd] keaton is dead "treat me like I knew you would" [dl] + keaton is dead "flying woman machine" [dl] + keaton is dead "itzy bitzy [ep]" [dl] mainliner / expo seventy "black hole bw totality wormhole" [7"] marisa anderson "cloud corner" [cd] mark kozelek "mark kozelek" [cdx2] michael gira "the egg: stories by michael gira" [cd] michael gordon, kronos quartet "clouded yellow" [cd] michael nyman "mcqueen" [cd] moe / marhaug "capsaicin" [cd] moon duo "no fun b/w jukebox babe" [12"] mv & ee & the golden road "feral run live @ brattleboro 140118" [dl]

nick cave & the bad seeds "distant sky [live in copenhagen]" [12"] + nick cave & warren ellis "kings [ost]" [cd] + nick cave & warren ellis "wind river [ost]" [cd] norman westberg "after vacation" [lp] + norman westberg "idling live" [cd] + norman westberg "before the bridge" [dl] oneida "romance" [cd] orchestra of constant distress "distress test" [lp & k7] oren ambarchi, jim o'rourke, with special guest u-zhaan "hence" [lp] + oren ambarchi, kassel jaeger & james rushford "face time" [lp] + oren ambarchi, crys cole & leif elggren "certainly" [lp] + oren ambarchi, sprenger & sollmann "panama b/w suez" [12"] -"scale" [cdx2] peter brötzmann & fredrick lonberg-holm "ouroboros" [lp] purling hiss "out tonight b/w walkin' with jesus" [k7] schakalens bror "omelette of disease" [lp] + schakalens bror "overdrive" [k7] scientists "braindead (resuscitated) b/w survivalskills" [7"] + scientists "mini mini mini b/w perpetual motion" [7"] simon wickham-smith "extreme bukake" [dl] stefan christensen "city code" [lp] sumac "love in shadow" [cd] + sumac "wfmu" [k7] sun kil moon "this is my dinner" [cdx2] + sun kil moon "linda blair" [dl] suzuki junzo "the magus" [cd] tape loop orchestra "lead is into the light" [lp] + tape loop orchestra "return to the light" [lp] + tape loop orchestra "before the light" [lp] tashi wada with yoshi wada & friends "nue" [cd] the aints! "church of simultaneous existence" [cdx2] the band whose name is a symbol "ottawa psychfest 2018" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "symbol ensemble III" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "basement blowouts 2" [dl] + the band whose name is a symbol "droneverdose" [lp] + the band whose name is a symbol "codocil" [dl] the limiñanas "shadow people" [cd] touts "sleep" [dl] träden "träden" [cd] uh "uh" [cd] uncle jim "my niece's pierced knees" [dl] young fathers "coccoa sugar" [cd] zeal and ardor "stranger fruit" [cd]

-anthroprophh "omegaville" [cdx2] -black elephant "cosmic blues" [lp] -brigid mae power "the two worlds" [cd] -broeder dieleman "komma" [cdx2] -carlton melton "mind minerals" [cd] -civic "new vietnam" [12"] + civic "live on pbs" [k7] + civic "those who no" [7"] -dirtmusic "bu bir ruya" [cd] -la morte young "a quiet - earthquake style" [cd] -long hots "monday night raw" [k7] -mazzy star "still" [12"] -nicolas wiese "unrelated" [lp] -okkyung lee "dahl-tah-ghi" [cd] -sadahiro yamada "shitaiha" [k7] -sean mccann "saccharine scores" [cd] -stefan neville & greg malcolm "a nuance" [lp] -the final age "the final age" [lp]

moments of brilliance (long list B):

1/3 octave band "headlands" [lathe cut 12"] 20 guilders "il grande silenzio: guitar improvisation 2017" [cd] "a" trio & amm "aamm" [cd] a-sun amissa "ceremony in the stillness" [cd] akio suzuki & aki onda "ke i te ki" [cd] alexandra philips & jan henderikse "you b/w i" [10"] alien mustangs "alienation" [lp] alternative tv "her dark places" [12"] andreas ammer & fm einheit "sie sprechen mit der stasi" [dl] anji cheung "terma" [k7] + ani cheung & burial hex "solstice tape split" [k7] ash brooks "crown of thyme" [k7] ben bertrand "ngc 1999" [lp] benjamin boone & philip levine "the poetry of jazz" [cd] big blood & thunder crutch "big blood & thunder crutch" [cdr] + big blood "operate earth spaceship properly" [lp] blk w/bear "mo re b roken th an y ou" [cd] bill callahan "live at third man records" [12"] bill orcutt "neu bros/ok phone/rural beatles" [lp] + chris corsano & bill orcutt "brace up!" [lp] + bill orcutt & chris cosano "gucci tops & bottoms" [k7] bong "thought & existence" [cd] boris "secrets" [cd] brian eno w/ kevin shields "the weight of history b/w only once away my son" [12"] bruce russell & noel meek "classical music" [lp] bob bucko jr "under cover summer" [k7x2] + bob bucko jr "trade mark of quality" [k7x3] brownout "fear of a brown planet" [cd] capri-batterie & stewart lee "bristol fashion" [lp] cave "allways" [cd] claire potter & bridget hayden "i am come from a place" [k7] colin stetson "the first ost vol I" [dl] + colin stetson "hereditary [ost]" [cd] constant mongrel "living in excellence" [lp] corrupted "felicific algorithm" [lp] country heroes "honky tonk tears" [cd] -courtney marie andrews "may your kindness remain" [cd] dalot & sound awakener little things [dl] + dalot & sound awakener strangers in the city [dl] darksmith "hatred of sound" [lp] datashock "kräuter der provinz" [lpx2] dead fretts "howlin' wolf (live)" [dl] + dead fretts "third day (live)" [dl] death grips "year of the snitch" [cd] derridada "derridada waits for wolf" [k7] dreadful "attack of the space machine" [dl] dreamweapon "sol" [lp]

eagle twin "the thundering heard: songs of hoof & horn" [cd] ellen fullman & okkyung lee "the air around her" [dl] emmanuel witzthum "songs of love & loss" [cdr] epic beardmen "season 1" [12"] félicia atkinson & jefre cantu-ledesma "limpid as the solitudes" [lp] + félicia atkinson "coyotes" [k7] flower room "arrangement I" [dl] futurians "distorted living" [lp] + futurians "lta" [k7] gad whip "post internet blues" [lp] geography of hell "hiroshima 1945 / nagasaki 1945" [lpx2] gerald murnane "recites how i wrote elastic man by the fall" [dl] giuda "saturday night's alright for fighting" [7"] giulio aldinucci "disappearing in a mirror" [cd] + ian hawgood & giulio aldinucci "consequence shadows" [cd] + giulio aldinucci & star pillow "hidden" [cd] + martijn comes & giulio aldinucci "split" [lp] goat "let it burn b/w friday pt 1" [7"] grand veymont "route du vertige" [lp] heads "collider" [cd] henry blacker "the making of junior bonner" [cdr] hunderd year old man "breaching" [cd] + hunderd year old man "rei" [s-sided 12"] immersion "sleepless" [cd] jandek "houston tuesday" [cd] + jandek "san francisco friday" [cd] jah wobble "the butterfly effect" [cd] + jah wobble "dream world" [cd] john zorn "in a convex mirror" [cd] + john zorn "the urmuz epigrams" [cd] jon spencer "spencer sings the hits" [lp] kinky friedman "circus of life" [cd] kleistwahr "acceptance is not respect" [cd]

lajoie-tuttle "american primate" [k7] lee 'scratch' perry "the black album" [cd] + lee perry & diggory kenrick "the antisnake" [10"] lo carmen "gold guns and silver" [dl] l.o.x. "l.o.x. time" [k7] low "double negative" [cd] lydia lunch "marchesa" [cd] mad professor "elctro dubclubbing" [cd] + mad professor "ariwa 2018 riddim series" [dl] marianne faithfull "negative capability" [cd] marissa nadler "for my crimes" [cd] martin & bell "roman totale's death song [a tribute]" (040218) [dl] mary gauthier "rifles & rosary beads" [cd] -max rubadub "style & passion" [cd] mayuko hino "lunisolar" [cd] michael morley "blessed high regency" [dl] + michael morley "reverse bondage k.o." [dl] + michael morley "zéro de conduite" [dl] + michael morley "call back your dogs" [dl] + michael morley "here today gone tomorrow" [dl] + michael morley "rise above" [dl] + michael morley "we are here because of you" [dl] + gate "winter songs" [dl] + the righteous yeah "goodbye forever" [dl] + the righteous yeah "unknown album" [dl] + the righteous yeah "history of love" [dl] + the righteous yeah "game changer" [dl] + the righteous yeah "oiseau de paradis" [dl] mick harvey & christopher r. barker "the fall & rise of edgar bourchier & the horrors of war" [cd] minami deutsch "with dim light" [lp] ml wah & herbcraft "no slack" [k7] + ml wah "big air" [k7] more klementines "more klementines" [lp]

nagual & stefan christensen "third" [7"] + nagual "florida" [cdr] nww / artaud [mini cd] + nww "nerve junction" [cd] + nww "changez les blockeurs and" [cd] + nww "experimente [personal archive mixes]" [cdr] + nww "experimente II [son of trippin' music]" [cdr] + stapleton, ka-spel, potter & rollet "the man who floated away b/w the closer... etc" [cd] ocre "ocre" [7"] øjerum "selv i drømme lyser den første sne" [lp] + øjerum "a certain grief" [k7] okkyung lee "speckled stones & dissonant green dots" [dl] pama international meets manasseh "trojan sessions in dub" [cd] peter zummo "frame loop" [lp] [rec 1984] philip marino "chasing ghosts" [cd] philippe petit & friends "on top" [12"] phosphorescent "ç'est la vie" [cd] pierre vervloesem & alinovsky "invisible quality" [cd] pigs pigs pigs pigs pigs pigs "king of cowards" [cd] pinch points "mechanical injury" [k7] platinum boys "we don't dance (anymore)" [7"] pumice "platelets" [7"] r stevie moore, alan jenkins & the kettering vampires "the embodiment of progressive ideals" [cd] razen "the night receptionist" [cd] rie fukuda & tabata misuru "precog" [cd] roy montgomery "jesus saves country boys too" [cd] ryan porter "the optimist" [cdx2] ryley walker "deafman glance" [cd] + ryley walker, z mark duo & extended fractures duo "lb 067" [k7]

sarry "oppidum desertum" [cd] + sarry "exspiravit planeta" [dl] scientist meets hempress sativa "in dub" [lp] seez mics "live long enough to learn" [cdr] sheku kanneh-mason "inspiration" [cd] shilpa ray "nihilism" [k7] sigur rós "route one" [lp] sleaford mods "sleaford mods" [12"] sleep "the sciences" [cd] + sleep "leagues beneath" [s/sided 12"] sly & robbie meet nils petter molvaer ft eivind aarset & vladislav delay "nordub" [cd] + sly & robbie meet dubmatix "overdubbed" [cd] sly & the family drone & dead neanderthals / mai mai mai "flesh logics b/w anatole" [7"] snakes don't belaong in alaska "interstellar harvester" [cdr] + snakes don't belong in alaska "radar ocean reconnaissance satellite" [cdr] + snakes don't belong in alaska II "astral audit" [dl] somesurprises "alt" [k7] stefan neville & hermione johnson "7/10/17" [dl] stoned earth "psycho city" [dl] + stoned earth "sonic planet" [dl] sundays & cybele "on the grass" [lp] suns of arqa "pressure drop: a tribute to the great lizard logan" [dl] tanz mein herz "une autre version de territory" [lp] tender crust "the earth's axis & hare" [k7] "the black book" [lpx3] the black vomit "black dada nihilismus" [dl] the limiñanas "remix" [12"] the oscillation "wasted space" [lp] + the oscillation "uef" [lp] thurston moore "mx liberty b/w panik" [7"] unknown artist "ijzeren rots" [12"] wild billy childish & ctmf "something's missing inside" [7"] young gods "figure sans nom" [dl]

-akira sakata, chikamorachi ft masahiko satoh "proton pump" [cd] -balmorhea "clear language: reworked" [lp] -bongripper "terminal" [lp] -charalambides "tom and christina carter" [lpx2] -chris butler "got it togehter!" [cd] -cinchel "a sad study in temporal dissonance" [k7] + cinchel "at once pleasant [live]" [dl] -cowboy junkies "all that reckoning" [cd] -dead valley girls "darkness rains" [cd] -dmbq "keeenly" [cd] -earthless "black heaven" [cd] + earthless "from the west" [cd] -foudre! "kami 神" [lp] -guiguisuisui & emerge "enchanted garden" [k7] -haley heynderickx & max garcía conover "among horses III" [cd] -idles "joy as an act of resistance" [cd] -james greer & neil luck "we all emerge some hours later baffled" [cd] -jfk "weapon design" [lp] -jochen arbeit & friends "jochen arbeit & friends webcast" [dl] + jochen arbeit, gerd beßler & hopek quirin "abq" [dl] + jochen arbeit, munsha & hopek quirin "live at roter salon" [dl] + jochen arbeit, martina bertoni, munsha & hopek quirin "live at volksbühne berlin" [dl] + jochen arbeit & hopek quinn "live at white rabbit" [dl] + jochen arbeit & paolo spaccamonti "cln" [lp] -kathryn joseph "from when i wake the want is" [cd] -keir vine "instance" [lp] -ktl "the pyre: versions distilled to stereo" [lp] -kyle bobby dunn & wayne robert thomas "kbd / wrt" [12"] -laurie anderson & kronos quartet "landfall" [cd] -lunar grace "the sunstruck forest" [dl] -randall dunn "beloved" [lp] -scot jenerik "drifting ash" [dl] -soundwalk collective "what we leave behind jean-luc godard archives" [lp] -sterile garden "concrete maze" [k7] -tales from the sleeping land "III" [cd]

the longest list:

6majik9 ritual "zero / monk nun" [cdrx2] a place to bury strangers "pinned" [cd] + a place to bury strangers "frustrated operator [slowdive remix]" [dl] aesop rock "klutz" [7"] airway "live at moca" [cd] alejandro escovedo & don antonio "the crossing" [cd] amen dunes "freedom" [cd] ana da silva & phew "island" [cd] anton mobin, kris limbach & hopek quirin "live" [dl] antony milton "unrealised films" [dl] årabrot "who do you move" [cd] archie & the bunkers "songs from the lodge" [lp] + archie & the bunkers "play the damned" [7"] aries mond "come on let's wait" [cdr] asbest "driven" [cd] ashtray navigations "zoom up" [cdr] + ashtray navigations "neon eating stationary planes" [cdr] asian women on the telephone "so wot" [k7] awkward geisha & gx jupitter-larsen "final destination" [k7] bandulu dub & dub dillah "disconnect" [dl] bart de paepe "verdronken land" [lp] + bart de paepe "pagus wasiae" [lp] bas van huizen "kulverzuchter" [cd] bazuingeschal "bazuingeschal" [lp] beak> ">>>" [cd] bear bones, lay low "atlantean encrypted message" [12"] + bear bones, lay low & don't dj "plafond 3" [lp] blacklab "under the strawberry moon" [dl] black moon circle "psychedelic spacelord " [cd] black rainbows "pandaemonium" [cd] blóm "powerfrau" [k7] blood quartet "until my darkness goes" [k7] blue chelise "daughters of time" [lp] bras mort "give her this, she takes that" [lp] "braublff [materie und laut]" [7"x2] brecht ameel "polygraph heartbeat" [lp] bruce gilbert "ex nihilo" bruxa maria & casual nun "bruxa maria & casual nun" [lp] bryan's magic tears "4 am" [lp] bvdub "drowning in daylight" [lpx2] + bvdub "a different definition of love" [cd] + bvdub "nights of nine vigils" [dl]

camera "emotional detox" [cd] celer "malaria" [dl] + celer "a chance isn't really a chance at all" [dl] + celer "advert subversion" [dl] + celer "arc eye" [dl] + celer "something cathartic" [k7] + celer "plays ravel" [dl] + celer & forest management "landmarks" [k7] ceremony "east coast" [dl] + ceremony "darling" [k7] chaines "the king" [lp] chaos echoes & mats gustafsson "sustain" [lp] + chaos echoes "mouvement" [cd] charalambides "out of place" [k7] charlemagne palestine "interrvallissphereee" [lp] + charlemagne palestine "ttuunneesszz duh rruunneesszz" [lp] charlotte de witte "brussels" [12"] chihei hatakeyama "scene" [k7] + chihei hatakeyama "void XV" [dl] + chihei hatakeyama "void XVI" [dl] + chihei hatakeyama "butterfly's summer and vanished" [cd] + chihei hatakeyama "afterimage" [cd] + eraldo bernocchi, chihei hatakeyama "solitary universe" [cd] + vida voji´c, chihei hatakeyama "fts002" [12"] child's pose "child's pose" [7"] chlorine "the wanting seed" [dl] chris butler & ralph carney "songs for unsung holidays" [cd] chris carter "chemistry lessons volume I" [cd] church of cash "thank you sir" [cd] circuit breaker "hands return to shake" [lp] circuit des yeux ft moon bros "sœur de race [catherine ribeiro]" [dl] cocaine piss "my cake" [s-sided 12"] cold meat "pork sword fever" [7"] commodo "dyrge" [ep] connan mockasin "jassbusters" [cd] consumer electronics "the weight b/w hostility blues" [7"] coolies / the futurians "u. cs-01" [k7] cosmic ground "IV" [cd] craig gerdes "smokin', drinkin' & gamblin'" [cd] crash toto "crash toto" [dl] crayon sun "crayon sun" [cd] crazy doberman "lungs of carbon or urban paranoia without a tonal center" [k7] + crazy doberman "rust clatter for the midwest sun" [7"] + crazy doberman "confused debris from slow dreams" [k7] + crazy doberman "2038" [k7] + crazy doberman "acid gallery 3am empty bottle blow out" [cdr] + crazy doberman "live @ wfmu" [dl] + crazy doberman "live fall 2017" [k7] + crazy doberman "this land god has abandoned" [dl] + crazy doberman "get lost pens of baldwin particle one" [k7] + crazy doberman "th'basement mother 2" [k7] creep show "mr dynamite" [cd] cruel diagonals "disambiguation" [lp] current 93 "the stars on their horsies" [cd] + current 93 "the light is leaving us all" [cd] cyril cyril "certaine ruines" [cd]

d.u.d.s. "immediate" [lp] dagger moths & philippe petit "ovaries" [12"] dandelion "every other day" [7"] dark sun "innerspace astronauts rare & unreleased" [k7] datashock "banana spleen" [k7 ep] david eugene edwards & alaxander hacke "risha" [cd] dead meadow "the nothing they need" [cd] dead neanderthals "life" [cd] + dead neanderthals "birth" [dl] dead otter "bridge of weird" [lp] dead vibrations "dead vibrations" [cd] deafheaven "ordinary corrupt human love" [cd] deafkids "espiral da loucura" [dl] dean ween group "rock2" [cd] delacave "window has no glass" [lp] delaney davidson "shining day" [cd] delgres "mo jodi" [cd] deludium skies "aspirations" [cdr] dirk serries "epitaph" [cdx2] + n(52) & dirk serries "scatterwound" [cd] + dirk serries & colin webster "gargoyles" [cd] + dikeman, hadow, serries, verhoeven, vicente "ideal principle" [cd] dirk wachtelaer, jürgen de blonde, alec ilyine, gert de meester "tales from the hellhole" [dl] dj klakke "black thursday in luxemburg" [dl] dogs in reverse "drella" [k7] donkey bugs ancient chinese secrets [12"] downward spiral galaxy "dsg spacebarn bootleg live 2018" [dl] + downward spiral galaxy "remembering the sunshine on a rainy day" [dl] drew mcdowall & hiro kone "the ghost of georges bataille" [12"] drew's theory "future vintage" [dl] drinks "hippo lite" [cd] drudkh "they often see dreams about the spring" [cd] dub foundation "the good the bad and the dubby" [dl]

è-lg "vu du dôme" [lp] earthling society "mo - the demon" [lp] echotourist soundsystem "naomi" [k7] eiko ishibashi & darin gray "ichida" [lp] electric moon "live 2015 zeiss planetarium bochum aka kosmos" [dl/lpx3] eleh "home age 2" [cd] + caterina barbieri & eleh "bestie infinite b/w wear patterns" [lp] elephant9 "greatest show on earth" [cd] emma ruth rundle "on dark horses" [cd] ergo phizmiz "boîte - the end of music" [k7x3] + ergo phizmiz "fstarstark mstarn winkyface" [dl] eric arn & margaret unknown "paranza corta" [lp] eugene chadbourne "29.10.17" [cd] fermata "salvaged space" [k7] fire down below "hymn of the cosmic man" [cd] flowers must die "där blommor dör" [lpx2] forest management "21st century man" [12"] + forest management "rotating angle" [k7] + forest management "biqui" [k7] + forest management & v i c i m "arid fragments" [dl] former selves "forgiveness circles" [k7] free/slope "abracadabra" [lp] frustration "midlife crisis b/w sad face" [7"] fuc lerrari & nean jégroni "souvenirs uchroniques" [k7] futur.s mort.s "futur.s mort.s II" [dl] gallery six "kazemakase" [cdr] + gallery six "bansyun" [dl] + gallery six "geisyun" [dl] garcia peoples "cosmic cash" [lp] + garcia peoples "suite" [dl] gareth sager & the hungry ghosts "juicy rivers" [cd] gas "rausch" [cd] gashrat "rock on [do it for me]" [dl] ggallan partridge "eyesore" [8"] glasseyelashes "jellyfish" [k7] gnaw their tongues "genocidal majesty" [cd] + golden ashes "the desolation" [dl] goat "double date" [10"] goat bath eternity "downers" [k7] goatman "rhythms" [lp] gøggs "pre strike sweep" [cd] graham day & the forefathers "emmaretta b/w love help me" [7"] gudrun gut "moment" [lp] guerilla toss "twisted crystal" [cd] guru guru "rotate!" [cd]

hairbone "earth to momma" [lp] hank wood & the hammerheads "hank wood & the hammerheads" [lp] harutaka mochizuki & makoto kawashima "free wind mood" [lp] hawthonn "red goddess [of this men shall know nothing]" [cd] herman de vries & the eschenau chaos band "idem" [lp] hermann nitsch "traubenfleisch" [cdx2] high aura'd "if i'm walking in the dark, i'm whispering" [k7] + high aura'd & asama "oil pourer" [k7] holy motors "slow sundown" [cd] holy wave "adult fear" [cd] hookworms "microshift" [cd] hopek quirin "live at chateau gorilla" [dl] howlin' rain "the alligaor bride" [cd] i am johnny cash "i am johnny cash" [cd] iguana death cult "femme fatale b/w faster faster" [7"] ilsantobevitore "realm of consciousness" [k7] ilyas ahmed "closer to stranger" [lp] international observer "free from the dungeons of dub" [cd] j c satàn "centaur desire" [lp] j gallagher "unknown cowboy [demos]" [dl] james carothers "still country, still king: a tribute to george jones" [cd] jarboe "the cut of the warrior" [cd] jay glass dubs "plegnic" [lp] + jay glass dubs & bokeh edwards "earth two² [mixtape]" [k7] + jay glass dubs "the safest dub" [12"] + leslie winner & jay glass dubs "ymfees" [12"] jean grae x quelle chris "everything's fine" [lpx2] jeffrey lewis & the deposit returners "works by tuli kupferberg [1923-2010]" [cd] jem-one "endless days" [12"] jess williamson "cosmic wink" [cd] jessica93 "en public [live] in rennes" [dl] jim o'rourke "sleep like it's winter" [cd] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 38" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 39" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 40" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 41" [dl] + jim o'rourke "steamroom 42" [dl] jimi tenor& tony allen "oto live series" [12"] joanne cash "unbroken" [cd] joe talia "tint" [lp] jóhann jóhannsson "mandy" [ost] [cd] + jóhann jóhannsson & hildur gudnadóttir "mary magdalene [ost]" [cd] + jóhann jóhannsson "the mercy [ost]" [cd] john carter cash "we must believe in magic" [cd] john krausbauer & david kendall "pdrm" [cd] john parish "bird dog dante" [cd] john tilbury, keith rowe, & kjell bjorgeengen "sissel" [cd] jon porras "voices of the air" [cd] josh pearson "straight hits" [cd] joujou jaguar "cheap life" [7"] jsm "sound system" [12"] junkpile jimmy "wants you dead" [lp] just mustard "wednesday" [12"] julian cope "skellington III" [cd]

kapital & richard pinhas "flux" [cd] kawabata makoto "live @ akihabara goodman 281118" [dl] kikagaku moyo "masana temples" [cd] killing flies "killing flies" [cd] king bong "beekse bergen vol I old school cool" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol II electric boogaloo" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol III bong sulfur sax magick" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol IV dreadful gate" [dl] + king bong "beekse bergen vol V to infinity & between" [dl] + king bong "dickus pickus live at circolo gagarin" [dl] klara lewis & simon fisher turner "care" [lp] kosmischer läufer "secret cosmic music of the east german olympic program '72-'83 vol IV" [dl] la muerte "la muerte" [cd] lärmschutz "dons" [k7] langham research centre "tics & ampersands" [k7] + langham research centre "gateshead multi-storey car park" [dl] + langham research centre "tape reworks vol I" [7"] lawrence wasser "the garden" [k7] lay llamas "thuban" [cd] + lay llamas "thuban dub ep vol I" [dl] lea bertucci "metal aether" [12"] leather jacuzzi "the whole hog" [lp] lee ranaldo "electric trim live @ rough trade east" [lp/dl] leroy "leroy" [12"] les horribles travailleurs, mechanical ape "collaborative soundworks" [k7] lincoln durham "and into heaven came the night" [cd] little wings & maher shalal hash baz "share" [12"] louise landes, bart de paepe, & paul labrecque "collodial love" [10"] + louise landes levi "ikiru or the wanderer" [dl] "losing today" [dl] ludo mich with jennifer walshe & w ravenveer "ludo mich with jennifer walshe & w ravenveer" k7] luke mawdsley "luke mawdsley" [dl] lumerians "call of the void" [cd] make flames ft gavin laird "a map is not the territory it portrays" [dl] mamuthones "fear on the corner" [lp] marianne schuppe "nosongs" [cd] marie davidson "working class woman" [cd] + marie davidson & lamusa II "la ecstase" [dl] mary bell "histrion" [12"] mary halvorson with bill frisell "the maid with the flaxen hair" [cd] mats gstafson & didi kern "marvel motor" [lp] matt lajoie "the fountain [k7] + matt lajoie "free to be.." [k7] maurizio abate "the maadi sessions" [lp] + maurizio abate "standing waters" [cd] + riccardo sinigaglia & maurzio abate "dialoghi nel vuoto" [lp] maze & lindholm "where the wolf has been seen" [lp] meg baird & mary lattimore "ghost forests" [cd] melvins "pinkus abortion technician" [cd] + melvins cock & bull bw reedy creek roast [7"] merzbow, balázs pándi, mats gustafsson, thurston moore "cuts up cuts out" [lp] [rsd] + merzbow "monoakuma" [cd] mésange "gyspy moth" [lp] meteor vortex "absorb / implode" [k7] mick jenkins "pieces of a man" [dl] miss red "k.o." [cd] + miss red "dagga b/w one shot killer" [12"] mythic sunship "another shape of psychedelic music" [cd] + mythic sunship "upheaval" [cd]

nathan salsburg "third" [cd] neneh cherry "broken politics" [cd] nickk dropkick "der club de faust" [dl] + nickk dropkick "sweet, sweet jazz for the soul" [dl] neil campbell "i must have my manias" [dl] neko case "hell-on" [cd] nerve beats "nerve beats" [lp] newaxeyes "black fax" [lp] nhung nguyen "illumination [piano day '18]" [dl] + nhung nguyen "oblivion" [dl] nordvargr "mx.tape.rn" [dl] no joy & sonic boom "no joy & sonic boom" [12"] obnox "templo del sonido" [lp] + obnox "bang messiah" [lp] olan mill "variations on the letter h" [k7] + olan mill "sounds of a new father" [cd] + olan mill "curves" [cdr] olympus "band on the gum" [dl] one eleven heavy "everything's better" [lp] øresund space collective "live in berlin '18" [cdx2] + øresund space collective "chatoyant breath" [cdx2] + øresund space collective "kybalion" [cd] + øresund space collective "space jam 160 live @ urban spree" [dl] orgue agnès "à une gorge" [lp] otherworld ensemble "live at malmitalo" [cd] oulu space jam collective "intergalactic spy music redux" [dl] + oulu space jam collective "the lotus-eaters" [dl] p j philipson "distante" [dl] + p j philipson "linotopia" [cd] p wits "blonde on blonde" [k7x2] + p wits "feel-be" [ep] [dl] + p wits "i will fall" [single] [dl] paint "paint" [cd] papa m "a broke moon rises" [cd] parquet courts "wide awake" [cd] + parquet courts "wide awake remixes" [12"] pausal "volume flow" [cd] perhaps "hexagon" [lp] + perhaps "hexagain" [cdr] + perhaps "excerpts" [dl] peter broderick "two balloons" [10"] peter strickmann "mellow toes" [lp] pharaoh overlord "chewing gum live" [lp] + pharaoh overlord "zero" [cd] pheek "returning home" [dl] pierre bastien, cabo san roque, anna homler, adrian northover, & dave tucker "fts003" [lp] pink fairies "resident reptiles" [cd] posset "another forever tomorrow" [cdr] prana crafter "enter the stream" [k7] + prana crafter "bodhi cheetah's choice" [k7] preening "greasetrap frisbee" [7"] primitive knot "thee opener of the way" [k7] pullout kings "sweat crimes" [k7] questions and answers "tell us the truth" [7"]

radar men from the moon & 10.000 russos "rmftm & 10.000 russos" [lp] rafael anton irisarri "el ferrocarril desvaneciente" [k7] + rafael anton irisarri "sirimiri" [k7] rainbow grave "sex threat b/w you are nowhere" [7"] + rainbow grave & orthodox "death pyramid b/w spain is the place"[7"] rainforest spiritual enslavement "red ants genesis" [k7] ras g "ras g meets moresounds" [12"] red lama "motions" [lp] richard youngs "endless futures" [lp] + richard youngs "belief" [lp] + richard youngs "fierce years etc." [dl] + richard youngs "six panels for dissolution" [dl] + richard youngs "foot guitar vol VI" [dl] + richard youngs "foot guitar vol VII" [dl] + richard youngs "arrow" [dl] + richard youngs "daybreak" [dl] rosanne cash "she remembers everything [deluxe]" sasha grey & pig "that's the way [i like it] remixed by youth" [10″] + sasha grey & pig "that's the way [i like it]" [12″] samara lubelski "flickers at the station" [lp] + samara lubelski / bill nace "samara lubelski / bill nace" [cd] sarah davachi "let night come on bells end the day" [cd] + sarah davachi "gave in rest" [cd] savage grounds "let your love groan" [7"] scarab "erect in the garden of grace" [dl] schwund "technik und gefühl" [lp] set and setting "tabula rasa" [lp] shame "songs of praise" [cd] + shame "all the hits" [12"] + shame "tasteless" [dl] shit & shine "bad vibes" [lp] + shit & shine "very high" [12"] simon felice "the projector" [cd] sister iodine "venom" [lpx2] snapped ankles "violations" [12"] sneers "heaven will rescue us, we're the scum, we're in the sun" [lp] sons of kemet "your queen is a reptile" [lpx2] sound awakener "duskiness" [dl] spaceslug "eye the tide" [cd] spiral galaxy with plastic crimewave "d machine" [dl] + spiral galaxy with plastic crimewave "celestial omen" [dl] spiritualized "and nothing hurt" [cd] starbirthed "citrine dreams" [2017] [k7] + starbirthed "starbirthed" [lp] + starbirthed "the dweller on the treshold" [k7] + starbirthed" messages from..." [dl] sterile garden "night loops III" [dl] + sterile garden "wandering in circles" [dl] + sterile garden "city corridors: sound & the city" [dl] + sterile garden "live recordings" [dl] steve ignorant & paranoid visions "1977220174u" [cd] stuart a staples "arrhythmia" [cd] sudden infant "buddhist nihilism" [cd] sugar pills bone "slack babbath plays peep durple" [k7] sutcliffe jugend "the hunger" [cdx2] + sutcliffe jugend "live at maschinenfest 2017" [k7]

the bleak engineers "introspecto b/w indiscriminate" [7"] the buckshot boys "perform the ultimate survival machine" [7"] the cool greenhouse "london b/w the end of the world" [7"] the dead brothers "angst" [cd] the dwarfs of east agouza "rats don't eat synthesizers" [lp] the ex "27 passports" [cd] the fadeaways "transworld 60's punk nuggets" [lp] the heartwood institute "secret rites" [lp] the staches "the great depression" [7"] trust "dans le même sang" [cd] uk subs "subversions" [cd] underworld & iggy pop "teatime dub encounters" [cd] vintage cucumber "arabische nächte II" [dl] vomir & discipline "split" [k7x6] wicked shimmies exile on 5th street [k7] °debris related (2018)° william shatner & jeff cook "why not me" [cd] + william shatner "shatner claus" [cd]

-adderall canyonly "museum of fire" [lp] -allen ravenstine "waiting for the bomb" [cd] -alpha steppa & nai-jah "the great elephant" [cdx2] -armonite "and the stars above" [cd] -arp "zebra" [cd] -atomonaut "inner space vol I" [dl] -axelle red "exil" [cd] -azusa "heavy yoke" [cd] -bebe buell "baring it all" [lp] -bitchin bajas & dsr lines "encyclopedia of civilizations vol II atlantis" [lp] -black space riders "amoretum vol I" [cd] + black space riders "amoretum vol II" [cd] -bonnacons of doom "bonnacons of doom" [lp] -brix and the extricated "breaking state" [cd] -brother jt "tornado juice" [cd] -catherine britt & the cold cold hearts "idem" [cd] -cave story "punk academics" [cd] -cavern of anti-matter "hormone lemonade" [cd] -charlotte gainsbourg "a-ring o'roses [sebastian on the beat remix]" [dl] -chris dooks joppa waves [dl] -christophe clébard on va crever [dl] + christophe clébard & carrageenan "split" [7"] -connorparty "flying colors!" [dl] -damo suzuki & jelly planet "damo suzki & jelly planet" [cd] -deniz tek "lost for words" [cd] -die wilde jagd "uhrwald orange" [cd] -dungen & woods "myths 003" [lp] -easy life "creature habits mixtape" [10"] -echo & the bunnymen "the stars, the oceans & the moon" cd] -eddy mitchell "le meme tribu vol II" [cd] -exitmusic "the recognitions" [cd] -glenn matlock "good to go" [cd] -grant-lee phillips "widdershins" [cd] -hatis noit "illogical dance" [cd] -hilary woods "colt" [cd] -ida sofar "mind" [cd] -jack ladder & the dreamlanders "blue poles" [cd] -jenny hval "the long sleep" [12"] -john grant "love is magic" [cd] -johnny jewel "themes for television" [cd] -juan d'oultremont "je pense donc je fuis" [dl] + juan d'oultremont "ma fiancée" [dl] + juan d'oultremont "otages b/w invisible" [dl] + juan d'oultremont "avant l'incident" [dl] -khalab "black noise 2084" [cd] -king dude "music to make war to" [cd] -kode9 & burial "fabriclive" [cd]

-la race "drancy ostinato" [lp] -laraaji, arji oceananda, dallas acid "arrive without leaving" [12"] -larry heard "heaven dub" [12"] -len leise & jura soundsystem "for adrian b/w udaberri blues" ]12"] -life education "earth tones" [cd] -malcolm middleton "bananas" [cd] -matthew "doc" dunn "lightbourn" [lp] -nurgul jones "carcosa" [dl] -okkervil river "in the rainbow rain" [cd] -oneohtrix point never "age of" [cd] + oneohtrix point never "love in the time of lexapro" [dl] + oneohtrix point never "the station" [dl] -open mike eagle "the dark dark purple tape" [k7] + open mike eagle "what happens when i try to relax" [12"] -orchestre tout puissant marcel duchamp "sauvage formes" [cd] -paolo conte "live in caracalla 50 years of azzurro" [cd] -peter hammill "x/ten" [cd] -protomartyr & spray paint "irony prompts a party rat" [7"] -ramble tamble "outlaw overtones" [k7] -rimjob texas "buttleg jan18" [dl] + rimjob texas "plačilni nalog" [dl] -ruby karinto "ruby karinto" [lp] -silencaeon "dead channel (music inspired by william gibson's neuromancer)" [dl] -sink ya teeth "sink ya teeth" [cd] -slightly stoopid "everyday life, everyday people" [cd] -stephen inglis "cut the dead some slack" [cd] -suishou no fune "moonlight" [k7x2] -territorial gobbing "circle of dads" [k7] -thalia zedek band "fighting season" [cd] -the decemberists "I'll be your girl" [cd] + the decemberists "traveling on" [10"] -the lumineers "c-sides" [dl] + the lumineers "live tracks" [dl] -"veterans in dub [deluxe version]" [cd] -zacht automaat "memory of the world" [12"] + zacht automaat "commercial waste" [dl] -zola jesus "wiseblood (johnny jewel remixes)" [12"] + zola jesus "okovi: additions" [dl] -тпсб "sekundenschlaf" [lp] - bevis frond "we're your friends, man" [cd]

- bevis frond "we're your friends, man" [cd] - bloody hell "my boss ross" [7"] - bobby body "rock on" [7"] - chocolat billy "délicat déni" [cd] - colin self "siblings" [lp] - dita von teese "dita von teese" [cd] - father john misty "god's favorite customer" [cd] + father john misty "live at third man records" [12"] - gary war "gaz forth" [cdr] - jennifer warnes "another time, another place" [cd] - jonathan richman "sa" [cd] - marc ribot "songs of resistance 1942-2018" [cd] - meghan patrick "country music made me do it" [cd] - no age "snares like a haircut" [cd] - nytt land "odal" [cd] - pablo raster "dub addicted" [dl] - pascal comelade & ivette nadal "arquitectura primera" [7"] - piloot "recuerda tu futuro" [k7] - rosali "trouble anyway" [lp] - ry cooder "the prodigal son" [cd] - salad boys "this is glue" [cd] - sarah shook & the disarmers "years" [cd] - satis "saturnalivm" [dl] + satis "planetarivm" [dl] - simon love "sincerely, s. love x" [cd] - spain "mandala brush" [cd] - spiny normen "spiny normen" [cd] - the johnny clash project "the johnny clash project" [cd] - the mountain goats "hex of infinite binding" [dl] - vanessa paradis "les sources" [cd] - weiland "perruche b/w vakbond" [7"]

#rewind #2018 #platterstompf

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