#the spidey system
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Dating can be challenging, yet Peter Parker has a variety of love interests thirsting after him at any given time. He shares his wooing wisdom by presenting the Spidey System.
Step 1: Spark Interest
Aggressively and awkwardly wear down your target.
Step 2: Peak Curiosity
Compell your target to seek you out.
Step 3: Investigate Physique
Wear something that leaves little to the imagination.
Step 4: Ditch Completely
The most essential step!
Leave your date with zero warning. It will leave them wanting more.
Step 5: Excuse Absence
Provide a bogus reason for wasting their time and expectations.
Step 6: Youthful Indiscretion
The immaturity will make you appear aloof. Allowing you to replicate the Spidey system again and again with the same targets.
#spiderman#peter parker#marvel#dating#animated peter parker is a bad boyfrind#the spidey system#felicia hardy#deadpool#spideypool#my fanart#my edits#walloping websnappers#thanks what a journey#villians are not exempt from the spidey system#spiderman the animated series#spectacular spider man#ultimate spider man
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I think I'm going to expand beyond using BlazBlue characters more often in my parody skits. I've got Konosuba visual novel portraits, Marvel vs. Capcom 2 sprites, Street Fighter III sprites, and green screen mods available for FGs like Mortal Kombat. I might as well try new things.
#blazblue#shitpost#parody#visual novel#bbcf#vn#comic#comics#marvel vs capcom#marvel#sprites#sprite#sprite edit#spiderman#spider man#spider-man#spidey#venom#venom symbiote#symbiote suit#symbiote#mvc2#ragna the bloodedge#noel vermillion#bbtag#fanfic#fanfiction#arc system works#arcsys#fighting games
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I think, considering the posts I’m seeing, people are getting confused on what a canon event is because the way Miguel defines it to Miles vs how he talks about his own “canon breaking” just don’t align neatly with one another, and are probably foreshadowing a loophole Miles will expose if the writing doesn’t go the route of entirely tossing out canon events.
They are, as Miguel explains them to be, specific story beats that will just happen naturally to every Spidey. They can be interfered with yes, but to catastrophic consequence to his mind. Simply existing in another dimension like the spider society or nicking gizmos like Hobie isn’t canon breaking, because it isn’t touching any story beats.
This feels confusing because the way Miguel talks about his adopted universe disintegrating makes it sound like he thinks his very continued presence did damage to it. Unless his counterpart’s death was specifically supposed to be a canon event for Gabriella, I can’t see how it fits into the previous model.
But that’s not the way the story is presented, and I think Miguel’s emotional vulnerability about that trauma, combined with the dissonance between both “definitions” is supposed to draw our attention to the idea that while this character is operating out of a sincere desire to prevent this every happening again, his understanding of what caused this disintegration is flawed and not immutable.
#atsv#miguel o'hara#this isn’t meant to be a dunk I just see a lot of posts that sound confused as to why canon breaking doesn’t seem to have concrete rules#and I think that’s the point#that it’s a system applied to understand the patterns that are replicating across each spidey’s life#not an immutable string of fate#but of course. considering how catastrophic what happened to Miguel was. I don’t blame them for handling the entire thing w bomb gloves#how do you TEST something like that#esp when the main person related to it all is utterly convinced they’re to blame for what happened and his appearance in that universe was#the only new factor that we know of#of course Miguel and his society are terrified of replicating what happened#tunes talks spiderverse#long post#edit: also I don’t think his counterpart was spiderman. Miguel was miserable with only The Work and we see nothing to indicate his#counterpart wasn’t just a normal guy. so I wonder as well what he could’ve possibly disrupted if there was no spiderman canon to break#and we don’t see him acting as if he took up that mantle in the adopted universe
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throwback to two years ago when we said “this character would definitely be plural. she has the vibes” and now we’re sitting here patiently waiting for her to finish forming
#here lies courtney#it’s just funny i think#spidey senses but for plurality#endo safe#system sillies#pluralgang#plural stuff#system stuff
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every morning I wake up and then realize that we never got the amazing spider man 3 and proceed to cry myself back to sleep
#andrew garfield#spiderman#the amazing spider man#peter parker#makes me so sad#the movies were SO good...#too good.#everything about it#like andrew’s spidey being spiderlike in combat..#THAT SEWER SCENE.. my god i think about it religiously every day.#good night#needed to get this out of my system#before i go to sleep#amazing spider man#riotspider tag#riotspider talks
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do not separate my mary jane and peter for ur silly old man yaoi !!!
HOWEVER ... have we considered a throuple instead?
mj introducing them like "this is my husband peter and his boyfriend miguel who is also my boyfriend" like april in that one scene in parks and rec
#i think there's a deep lonliness in miguel that wont allow him to ever fully open up and be vulnerable with another person ever#BUT FUCK IT WE'RE BEING SILLY HEHE HERE#MIGGY GETS NERVOUS AS HELL WHEN HE FIRST MEETS MJ#bc he rarely meets ppl who stand ten toes down and challenge him#and mj doesnt care if he's 6'9 and the smartest man in a room full of science nerds#he doesnt get to be mean to HER peter her tiger !!!#and she's here to set the record straight and demand an apology!#miguel respects her chutzpah and sees that maybe he was in the wrong and was too harsh with peter and some other spiders#he spends time with peter and realises he's been taking him and his friendship for granted#well from this point on... he thinks abt her OFTEN#but not in any romantic way or anything just its been long since someone attempted to break thru his tough exterior#idk where im going with this ...#AND THEN THEY KISS#anyways im all for miguel having a stable support system#PLEASSEEEE#u guys i actually havent even watched the movie im hcing based on the comics lmaoooo have i lost it#spidey#i can fix him#miguel o'hara#spiderman 2099#across the spiderverse#peter b parker#miguelito#mary jane parker#mj#mary jane watson#idk man im just saying shit
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do you guys think that when the miles shit happened, kabiguru was just in the lab cooking up some sort of legendary cure and instead spider-rex just blasted through the window with miles and kabiguru just had to go on a chase with absolutely no context.
#attercopus#\\ : — come get yer' spidey canon !#but leon i hear u say#miguel made an announcement on#the comms system 2 go after spider-man !#(do u think he heard. he was doing SCIENCE !!!!)#honestly gonna make this canon#LOLLL
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just watched across the spiderverse 👍 it was fun. i have a slight headache tho
#that might be for spidey unrelated reasons. anyways this is gonna make me split normal amounts 😔#that's a solid /neu btw. it means i liked the characters and they changed me on a level. it also means .... well yknow#headache city + the fact this system keeps getting bigger#anyways#i am trying not to get mad at a movie i liked for saying the word narcissist one time but dang it. why#:`[ single tear being shed by me for never getting good things in life. or something to that effect
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I gotta say I was not expecting to enjoy Devil May Cry as a series as much as I am, I'm kinda surprised it took me this long to get in to.
#like ive been on and off playing dmc3 for a while#and trust me its so much fun i can see why its highly rated#but im putting it on hold for now just cause im finding the controls a bit awkward?#so i decided to go for the newer games because they're more beginner friendly#and im not too worried about playing them out of order because i have a vague idea of the story anyway#so playing dmc5 rn#and omfg it is SO much fun#ive had nero for a day and i would kill for this funky ass dude#i love him and dante#they are like so swaggy and cocky and a lil dumb and reckless#literally my fav kind of guy#and the style and design of the game is so good#also not to combine my two interests rn but like i love the taunting system it gives me real spidey vibes 😭😭#someones gonna smack me for saying that but like dante and nero's quips are just spidey if he was an asshole /j#<- joking but also not fully#anyway sorry i just wanted to share that i may have a new interest lmao#spiderman and dmc who tf would have thought these would be my interests#peesona is always chilling in the background but we all know why really#oh and the music absolutely fucking SLAPS in both games devil trigger is honestly one of my fav video tracks ever#and is how i found out about the series unironically LMAOOO
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being a system is so weird
having side-systems as an HC-DID system is so freaky because our main system (Manhattan newsies) is literally just the state of New York, with Front being the lodging house. and one minute all of the newsies introjects are out and about running around Manhattan and then Jack Kelly is in front and gets mentioned and ALL OF A SUDDEN THEIR SPIDEY SENSES GO OFF AND THEY'RE ALL CROWDING THE DOOR TO FRONT TO FUCK WITH JACK
WHAT THE HELL GUYS GO AWAY STOP IT YOU HIVEMINDED FREAKS (/aff)
#hc did system#newsies#ramcoa system#hc did#newsies introjects#hive minded freaks#Spidey senses#what the fuck else would I call it? Orphan senses#fatherless behavior#freaks
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ϑ ₊ pinned post !
Hiya, Welcome to my blog! I'm Miles, the owner of arachnidstims. This post will have all the information you need to know to be able to request stuff from me!
Request are closed, slow postin
ϑ ₊ table of contents !
about blog + what I do
about me
extra
ϑ ₊ blog info !
arachnidstims is a spider-man themed edit/stimboard blog! arachnidstims is currently a solo ran blog and most likely will stay that way. arachnidstims offers many edits including ;
Stimboards !
Stimboards are 3x3 edits, the layout of the stimboard is dependent on how many muses there are. A duo mused stimboard will have seven stims related to themes given by the requester unless given creative freedom. Photos of the characters will be in the top left corner and the bottom right corner respectively. Mono mused stimboards will have eight themed stims related to themes given by the requester with the muse being in the center of the board.
Moodboards!
As above, it will be the same concept but instead of stims it will be photos. The layouts will be the same aswell.
Icons!
Icon packs will come with three graphics, each icon having a different picture as the others to give variation. Along with the three icon pack there will be transparent icons below the cut. When requesting I would appreciate if there are themes provided, otherwise I will take creative freedom.
Headcannons!
Simple edits of characters with flags behind them, usually corresponding to what headcannons the requester has.
ϑ ₊ about me !
Hi, hello! My name is Miles, I'm the spider that runs this blog! I use hy/chomp/pup/bro/web neos along with a ton of other neos. (that you can find here!) if you can't remember my pronouns just refer to me as spider-man! I'm the host of a P-DID system, along with being a fictive and a splitroject! Along with DID, I'm autistic, dyslexic, bipolar, paranoid, physically disabled nd a whole bunch more jazz. Please be patient and kind when interacting with me as I struggle with socializing alot!
ϑ ₊ extra !
This blog doesn't have a dni! I will do almost all requests (unless I simply don't want to. I have the right to refuse any requests since this stuff is free ‼️) also i'm very bias when it comes to spider-verse ships. If I don't like your ship I won't do your request, sorry ^_^; as a fictive all the ships I ship are self indulgent, selfships if you will. They are based off of source memories, so if there are ships that don't correlate with what I remember I get pretty uncomfortable. But that's about it! Thank you so much for reading my intro post! I cannot wait to get started doing requests :D
#⟡ inbox#⟡ req accepted#⟡ req denied#⟡ spidey talk#⟡ stimboard#⟡ icons#⟡ moodboard#⟡ headcannon#stimblr#stimboard#stimboard blog#edit blog#icons#icon blog#headcanon#headcanon blog#moodboard#moodboard blog#request#request blog#spider-blog#fictive ran blog#fictive owned blog#system owned blog#did system#plural system#system blog#spider-man blog#intro post#pinned post
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diagnoses u with fanfic tags
yeah i caved. welcome spideysona
their universe is 1990s san francisco. by day they work as a struggling writer for the bugle, sort of following in the footsteps of (movie-adjacent) eddie brock; by night they’re spider-scrawl, fighting systemic injustice, writers’ block, and the occasional mad scientist invention. his world is less rife with supernatural evils than most, but he’s also fucking with the government and corporations and all, so it balances out
their unique thing is that they have, like, shitty meta clairvoyance in the form of inherently understanding tropes, clichés, story structure, etc. like if cinemasins/wins were a superhero. they were approached to join the society because miguel thought they’d be chill or even helpful with canon events—unfortunately scribble here is not whatsoever into following rigid plot structure for the sake of unnecessary thematic suffering, saw the plot twist a miles away, and peaced. but not before snagging a day pass so they could watch atsv in person
they never take off their mask, and no one knows their name—he says it’s because he doesn’t want to lose his identity in a sea of spider-people, leading most to theorize that san-fran-spidey is some flavor of peter parker, but who’s to say for sure? the doylist reason, which he is in fact aware of, is that i don’t know either lol
#spider man: across the spiderverse#spidersona#spider scrawl#spider punk#spider noir#hobie brown#noirpunk#just a tad ;)#brass tacks means facts!#haha do you get it miles like a mile away but miles was the one wh—#so anyway sona shit#eddie in their universe has left the bugle for better things (read: got fired movie style)#still a bangin journalist tho and scrawl aspires to be like him#their deadpool is just as meta as them. they’re buddies#usually i’m not one for sonas but this was fun#static and colors inspired by that can u ever forgive me movie from 2018#scrawl puts on the mask to feel more confident about fighting the system#hopin & prayin it’ll do the same for me :’)
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"But you already wrote that trope."
#YEAH ALWAYS#HELL YEAH#I went through the ENTIRE 'Peter Parker's Field Trip To Stark Tower' tag one time and it FUCKIN' ROCKED#because it's TECHNICALLY the same trope#and I'd see repeats of certain plot points#(the badges system revealing Peter as an intern OR Peter having to reveal his identity as Spidey OR Tony having to step in and stop Flash--#BUT AT THE SAME TIME so many people took it and put their own spin on it and it's AMAZING seeing how some fics are almost-identical-except-#OR they're COMPLETE overhauls of the trope#anyway reading the same trope over and over is good fuckin soup and scratches an itch 100% of the time#like me with writing ''but what if they were family'' into like. MOST of my stories somehow aksjdbaefga#if there's no sibling or parental bond in my fic then there's something wrong with me
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Lmao it would be so funny if DP, Wolvie & Spiderman had a movie together and every time Spidey was on screen with them they magically couldn't swear (bc although the movie is Rated R, Spiderman always remains PG-13) and DP & Wolverine are like ??? hacking through sentences, turning red and gagging and pulling at their supersuit collars because they're choking themselves trying so hard to curse and resorting to more and more juvenile ways to insult each other while beating the shit out of each other and Peter is just like *squints*
not to mention the hilarity of Peter launching himself off their bodies (faces) to do Spiderman acrobatics and webbing them to things
and then at the end of the movie, when Wade is dying to cut into someone with the most caustic of foul-mouthed insults -- but has finally accepted he can't while standing alongside PG-13 Peter & the confines of the Motion Picture rating system -- Peter steps in front of him, cutting him off, and launches into the most offensive, repugnant, visceral, long-winded diatribe of nuclear F bombs known to humanity bringing the entire room to a standstill
Wolverine is like well, shit. Ditto.
and DP is like *white guy blink* so that's why you're PG-13 😍 it's a gag order
#deadpool 3#spideypool#poolverine#marvel#mcu#disney#deadpool & wolverine#and peter is an adult here after the home trilogy we need adult solo peter in the mcu
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Arachnid Anxiety
You're Spider-Woman, and you've been tasked with babysitting Mayday. Maybe you have a bit of stress that you need to vent about, and Hobie comes along quite conveniently for that purpose.
Genre: Fluff, reader having anxiety, Hobie giving her advice, very cute, reader is a Jessica Drew variant, perhaps mutual pining if you squint, takes place during the movie but before Miles arrives to the Society, terrible british slang attempts (sorry Hobie :'))
Word Count: 2.4k
Babies are hard to wrangle when they’re crawling up walls.
Of course, Peter B. Parker said that he needs a nap, just this once, and he needs someone to watch over Mayday while he sneaks away into the sleeping pods in the Spider-Society-System. Sometimes he and MJ don’t get sleep for days at a time, so you get it.
But Mayday is so curious, and you find yourself having to pull her prying hands away before she inadvertently tampers with things around Miguel’s labs and causes either a mass outage or a explosion or Miguel’s wrath. You understand why Peter is a little exhausted.
She’s a very cute baby, though, and you can’t help but coo at her as she clambers off the wall into your arms.
“Who’s a good Spidey? Who’s gonna be the best of us?” You shake her up and down and she giggles, wrapping her arms around you.
You instinctively flinch, feeling your Spider-Sense go off.
“Large statement to make. But I see where you’re coming from.” Spider-Punk comes up from behind you, and you turn to him. “She’s definitely punk.”
“Hey, don’t go claiming someone else’s kid as one of your own.” You joke, and Hobie scowls as he pulls off his mask.
“Don’t believe in claims. Or labels, for that matter.” He scratches his hair, looking effortless as he ever does, and you roll your eyes. “She is… who she is. Forgive me for using a descriptive word, Spider-Woman.”
“I get it.” You hold Mayday as she squeals at the sight of Hobie, and she motions in an uppy-uppy motion. She wants to be held by him, but he ignores her.
You never quite know how to feel about Hobie Brown. The Amazing Spider-Punk is revolutionary, known for being better than just his words– he holds himself to the very essence of anarchy. He practices what he preaches.
But you can’t quite get a read on the guy. You don’t know if he’s pulling your leg– or taking the piss as he would say– when he gives his bouts of advice while somehow simply being amazing through it all. He somehow knows what to say but he also isn’t the most comforting, and that in itself makes you drawn to him. He just happens to be kind of rough around the edges, and it’s because of that you know he truly means what he says.
No sugar-coating, ever.
But you hate yourself, because you’ve somehow managed to fall for him.
It’s not uncommon for Spideys to fall for each other. Peter Parker and Cindy Moon, Miles Morales and Gwen Stacy. But you know this is the one time it just wouldn’t end well for you.
You can already hear Hobie’s comments if he ever found out. He’d probably rebuke you even though you’d never try anything. Tell you he doesn’t feel that way and you’re delusional for potentially thinking that he would ever tie himself down. Spiders are meant to be swinging free and all that.
Even worse, he just happens to be beautiful. You’re positive that if Hobie wasn’t so anti-everything he would have stuck with being a runway model. His face is molded in a distinctive way that has you trying to catch his glance, even if he only looks at you with nonchalance, completely unbothered, not a hint of chemistry in his eyes.
It is with great displeasure that you find yourself wanting his bored attention anyways.
And so you’ve been swallowing your crush for the greater part of a year now. You’re sure it will pass like all things do.
Pavitr, as much as you love him, has told you many times about the “chemistry” between you and Hobie– and you have told him every time to fuck off. Not in an actual harsh way, because again you can’t help but love the guy, but because you don’t need false hope.
You’re just Spider-Woman. Another red-and-yellow suited variant of Jessica Drew, you might as well just be another Peter Parker. You know that’s not how you’re supposed to think of yourself, but it’s just how it is. Canon events brought you here, and according to Miguel, it’s not something you chose– you just happened to be there at the right time and place. You’re no Jess, who comes in on her motorcycle, raging heat and excitement on her toes– you are one of the many, instead of being exceptional like the few.
You’re not like Hobie, who is as far as you know, one of a kind.
“What’s on your mind, Spider-Woman?” Hobie asks as he picks through random tech on the desk in Miguel’s lab, taking what he feels is useful for whatever it is he does with the stuff. He’s never used your name, because he doesn’t know it.
You and a few other Spider-People have chosen to stay anonymous, for different reasons, and only Miguel and Margo know who you really are. Hobie has told you before that that’s pretty cool– he only chose to give up his name because it was easier to get along with people that way. Hobie knows there’s power in people.
“Just babysitting. Obviously.” You motion to Mayday, who takes this moment to thwip out a web and swing away from you– but you’re faster and you grab her back into your arms, and she pouts.
“Nah, nah. I mean that sour expression upon your lovely little visage, imbecile.” He pokes your masked cheek, and you find yourself blushing but pulling away from him. Hobie is like that– overly familiar and no real sense of space because he doesn’t care.
“It’s not lovely.” You retort, fully convinced of it because he has never seen your face, only your incredulous expression through the eyes of your mask.
You think that Hobie is again being sarcastic about your unknown appearance, and because his back is facing yours as he searches through random shelves now, you don’t catch how his face frowns at your response.
“Disagreements about your anonymous-but-surely beautiful face aside– not that looks matter, mind you– you’re clearly miffed about something.” Hobie turns and crosses his arms, and it’s with a little embarrassment and comfort that you want his advice. Even if it’s kind of to do with him.
“Well, I guess, uh… lately I’ve just been feeling kind of down. Like what’s the point of all this?” You bite your lip, knowing Hobie’s feelings on nihilism. “I don’t mean like nothing in life matters, Hobie. I mean more that I don’t matt– I don’t… anyways, I feel useless. I don’t have anything special about me, I don’t really bring anything to the Spider-Society that wasn’t already brought.”
"Whoa whoa whoa. Nah, lady, you've got your priorities all twisted." Hobie pulls your arms, bringing you kind of closer to him, and rests his hands on your shoulders, making you listen. "This inner hatred stuff– that sick urge to feel shame and then blast it inside of yourself, all that repression, yeah? It's a crock of shit."
"Huh?" You and Mayday both peer up at him. You behind your mask, and she with her crocheted one.
Hobie picks up Mayday, finally giving into her wishes to be held by him, and she immediately giggles. There’s a subtle smile on his face that warms him to you a little.
"It might feel good in the moment. It might even feel revolutionary." Hobie scowls, and scratches his jaw. "It's worthless. Notice, Spider, I didn't call you worthless. The very action is garbage, a visceral thing that brings no productive value– that's what they want you to feel."
"Ah, because then I'll never fight against the establishment, right, Hobie? I'll be too busy fighting myself." You say mockingly, taking on a fake-pretentious-Cockney accent, mimicking him, but Hobie gives you a chill look and nods.
"Now you're getting it."
"Aw." You slump and slouch and sit on the counter full of gadgets and gizmos next to him. "I know you're right, but… don't you ever get people getting mad at you?"
"You've lost me."
"Like… being so responsible." You roll your eyes as Hobie snickers and whispers the spider-mantra you all know so well. "Or just living by your own ideology so… efficiently. It's almost like a slap in the face to the rest of us Spiders. We don’t know how to cope, and here comes along Spider-Punk with all his personal assurance that even if things aren't alright, he'll make it alright for himself."
"Oi, trust me, it wasn't all that easy." Hobie sniffs and sits down next to you, holding Mayday close and then letting her go as she crawls onto the wall in front of you. "You really think I haven't had a bad day? I haven’t had my moments of self doubt, huh?”
“Uh… well. When you put it like that, it does sound kind of crazy.” You admit, and nudge him with your shoulder. “I didn’t mean any harm, Hobie. I just feel so… inadequate.”
“Just stop.” He crosses his arms and closes his eyes, and you feel that yet again, he’s somewhat unreadable. “Don’t think those things. You’re not inadequate.”
“But I–”
“Stop.” He grasps your hands, and squeezes them tightly in his own, and you wonder if Hobie has ever looked this seriously at you, his eyes soft yet firm with affection.
You’re in trouble, you think. Your heart is pounding and you’re really glad he can’t see your face.
“I don’t think you know how important you are.” He utters so quietly, in that very deep voice that has you leaning in to hear him better. “You’re not nothing, Spider-Woman. You’ve done a lot of good for your Earth-257, I’m sure, and that makes you something special. Like the rest of us– you’re kind of irreplaceable, right?”
“I guess.”
“Not ‘I guess.’” Hobie punches the side of your arm and you pretend to say ow, laughing a little. “If you didn’t exist, we’d all be poorer for it. Peter couldn’t ask you to chill with his baby, and I couldn’t be here talking your ear off.”
“But I’m not– I don’t really compare to her, you know?” You say without thinking, and then immediately squint at your own stupidity.
“Who’s her?” Hobie is wary of how your expression is shifting. “Stacy?”
“Uh, no.” You inhale, exhale, and then decide it’s time to get it over with. “Jess.”
“Jess? Jessica Drew, huh?” Hobie smirks a little. “You don’t want to be adopted by her, do you?”
“More complicated than Gwen’s weird fantasy.” You shift on your spot on the counter, and pull off your mask after a minute of tribulations. “I’m… also Jessica Drew.”
You feel incredibly shy as Hobie takes in your face, wary of his every move as you feel yourself sweating, and he grasps your face gently, peering into your eyes and taking a look at your features, as if he’s really trying to remember them.
“Huh.”
“What is it?” You say a little too defensively, and he shrugs.
“You do have a lovely visage, you silly little sod. Even if it’s completely different from Jess’ face.” He laughs as you shove him away, covering your face in your hands. “No, don’t do that.”
He’s tracing your jaw, and he murmurs. “Maybe you could use a few piercings… a tat or two… ever thought about it?”
“No.” You shut your eyes. “I’m not cool like you.”
“Oh, shut it.” He leans in imperceptibly closer, and you blink, eyes open. Maybe Pavitr had a point that Hobie and you have something, because there’s not really another explanation for that look in his eyes. “You’re plenty cool, Jessica Drew. It was just a shit suggestion of mine.”
You think Hobart “Hobie” Brown is sweeter than you previously thought. You have half a mind to tell him about your feelings.
You and Hobie both look up, Spider-Senses tingling, and sure enough, Mayday is cooing from the ceiling– she leaps into your already waiting arms. She giggles at your expression.
Oh well, you think. There’ll be some other time to work up the courage to tell him.
Hobie half-smirks at her. “Way to interrupt us, Mayday.”
She looks at him all confused, tilting her head in a “huh?” motion, and you feel the same way, not entirely sure what Hobie meant by that and not willing to assume either.
He answers you by pulling your face in a sudden, swift motion, connecting his lips to yours, and in between the two of you, Mayday shrieks and laughs. She crawls off to the side of you, no longer smothered between your torsos.
Hobie is weirdly insistent– you feel like he’s been wanting to do this for a while, maybe longer than the length of your conversation (you don’t know if this is just a funny little fling for him, but you’re fairly sure it isn’t) and he’s a lot taller and lankier than you, so he really has to tower over you to reach your mouth better. He’s grasping your jaw and neck and the back of your head with a lot of intensity– you feel wildly dizzy when he pulls away.
“Uh.” Peter B. Parker is standing in front of you both, mouth wide open, and you look back at Hobie and he grins rather coolly, not really giving a damn. It’s enough to make you snort. “Wait, who are you?”
“Oh. Spider-Woman from Earth 257.” You remember Peter has never seen your face, either. “Jessica Drew?”
“Right, right.” Peter raises his hands in a whoop-de-doo motion, like he should’ve known that. “Nice to know what you look like behind the mask. Not nice to know that you’ve been avoiding your babysitting duties. Why are you two fooling around like prepubescent children? What happened to responsibility?”
“Ahhhhh, please, Peter. Live a little.” Hobie stands up, his full length of height drawing him to about the same height as Peter if not an inch taller. He picks up Mayday and hands her off to him. “Let’s not act as if you and MJ weren’t shacking up in the sleeping pods last week, yeah? Does Miguel need to know about how irresponsible you were?”
You think he’s kidding, but Peter pales and you clap your hands over your mouth, trying not to laugh. Miguel would absolutely throw a fit if he found that out.
“Uh…” Peter swallows. “At least that’s not an interdimensional tragedy-in-the-making like you two.”
“There’s no rules against that, I don’t think.” Hobie shrugs. “And if there are, fuck them. Miguel doesn’t know it all.”
“He really is punk to the very end.” Peter groans and leaves out to the hallway with Mayday.
Hobie flashes a smile at you as he sits back down, ruffling your hair.
#hobie brown x reader#hobie brown x you#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#spiderverse#across the spider verse#spiderpunk x reader#spider punk x you#spider punk x reader#spiderpunk x you#spider verse#spider man#spiderman#atsv#atsv x reader#hobie x reader#hobart brown#spider man x reader#spiderman x you#spiderman x reader#spiderman atsv#atsv spoilers#across the spiderverse spoilers#spider verse spoilers#x reader#reader insert#female reader#hobie x you#spiderpunk fluff#spider punk fluff
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𝖈𝖆𝖚𝖌𝖍𝖙 𝖎𝖓 𝖞𝖔𝖚𝖗 𝖜𝖊𝖇
[4: guess i have a type]
tlou m.list | series m.list
spiderman!ellie x reader
synopsis: you begin to recognize some similarities between ellie and good ol’ spidey… guess you have a type, huh?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
Beep, beep, beep!!
You wake up with a grumble, last nights— er, this morning’s activities had done a number on you.. you weren’t used to so much excitement.
“What time is it?” you mumble against your pillow as you fumble for your phone, the bright light guiding your hand under the sheets, “Gotta call Gwen later.. let’s see.. FUCK!”
You scramble outta bed, tossing the blankets off you and your cat as well, who hissed at you very angrily for disturbing his fourth nap of the morning.
“S-Sorry,” you say to your cat as you scramble to the restroom, quickly brushing your teeth and rushing through your skincare routine. You decided to forgo the makeup today and instead just apply some light mascara and fix your brows up, maybe add some concealer.. and blush.. and maybe just a litt—, “No time!” you scold yourself.
You set your makeup bag down and run for the closet, rummaging around for .. “Ah, there it is!”
You snap the cheap metal buttons of your uniform together, the yellow polo with a red collar and pocket hugging your torso quite nicely, well, as nicely as a 30 year old uniform could, then you slid on the matching red skirt, your tights for extra warmth, shoes, and you can’t forget your name tag that read ‘Mary Jane.’
You quickly feed your cat some snacks, apologizing over and over as he ate and then made your way out. As you ran down the stairs, you pulled your trench coat on tight around you, hiding any part of your uniform.. you weren’t embarrassed about working at a diner but you knew your so-called friends, coworkers, and classmates wouldn’t be so understanding.. after all, you are from a well off family, so it would look funny.. besides, you don’t need anymore rumours going around about you.
As you’re about to round a corner, you bump into an all too familiar someone.
“Woah, slow down,” Ellie chuckled, her hands on your waist to stop you from toppling over.
“O-Oh, morning, Ellie..” you blushed, the memories of last night still fresh, you pulled the coat even tighter, you sure as hell did not want her to see you in this dorky uniform.
“Where you off to? You seem to be in a rush,” she commented, her eyes lingering on your form but before you could answer, your bus was pulling up.
“Sorry, Ellie, uh, chat later? I really gotta go!”
Ellie knew exactly where you were off to, she had stopped by that diner the other day to check out the schedule.. they should really get a better security system, she thought.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
“I know, I know! I’m sorry Darlene, I had a late nig—.”
“I don’t wanna hear it, Missy! Just get out there and start taking orders, okay?”
You nod, thankful she didn’t give you another lecture. You liked Darlene, she was like a really cool mom.. who smoked a lot.. and drank a lot.. but she let you keep all your tips so she wasn’t so bad, you gave her a kiss on the cheek, “Thanks, Ma.”
Darlene was like a mom to everyone in the diner, she treated everyone like they were one of her own, it was nice being apart of a ‘family.’
Your morning was full of truckers asking for refills on coffee, business men asking for the paper, ladies of the night coming in after a wild night, and.. Ellie?
“Morning” she smiled at your coworker as she seated her, that goofy lopsided smile made your heart flutter a bit.. actually, you couldn’t tell if it was her smile that was making your heart flutter or if it was the idea of being found out.
You had to hold back a gasp as you dove behind the counter, praying she didn’t see you and as you crawled your way into the kitchen, so close to freedom.. Darlene rounded the corner..
“The hell..? What are you doing down there?” she prodded you with her foot.
You put a finger to your lips and gestured for her to come lean down, she reluctantly did so, grumbling about her knees, “Darlene, can I please, please, please go on my 15 minute break? A girl I lik— uh, know is here..”
“Your break now? You can’t take that until.. another hour!” She pulled you up by your collar, like a mama cat carrying it’s kitten by the scruff.
“Please!”
“No, no way.”
“What if I said I’ve taken up smoking, huh? Then you LEGALLY have to let me take a break.”
“You? You take up smoking?” she scoffed, “Nice try princess, get out there, now.”
You whimpered and straightened your apron as she shoved you out of the kitchen, when Darlene said now, she meant yesterday.
Before the door could swing shut, Darlene poked her head out, “Oh, and we’re changing your section.. you’re now serving tables 11-17.” you could feel the shit eating grin’s aura as she laughed her way back into the kitchen.
God fucking damn it.
“Morning..” you mumbled as you pulled out your notepad, “What can I get you.. Ellie?”
Ellie’s eyes lit up as she laid them on you, “Hey, uh, Mary Jane?”
You rolled your eyes, “What do you want?”
“Hey, hey, slow down! Hm.. what can you recommend MJ?”
“The waffles here are pretty good.”
“I’ll have that then, oh, and coffee, too. Five cream and five sugar.”
You laugh, “Are you serious?”
She stared at you with a deadpan look, “Yeah?”
“Oh my god.. you are.. Ellie, that’s, like, a lot of sugar.. literally diabetes in a cup.”
“I don’t like the taste of coffee.. tastes like burnt shit.”
You scoff, “Then why do you drink it?”
“Keeps me up.”
“You don’t need the caffeine, just take the five sugar packets and you’ll probably still run the same since you’re already drinking sugar with a side of coffee.”
“Shut up, just get me my coffee,” she mumbled.
When you had served Ellie her food and coffee, you expected her to leave right after like every other customer ever but no.. like always, Ellie had to differentiate herself from the crowd. She did leave the diner but she waited in her truck outside. So, when Darlene said you could leave and head to school, Ellie was outside waiting for you.
“Don’t wanna keep lover girl waiting, do ya?” Darlene had said when you clocked out.
The blush from her comment still on your face as you walked to Ellie’s truck and knocked on the window, “Hey, what’re you still doing here?”
Ellie straightened up, “Uh, thought you might like a ride..?”
“You didn’t have to, Ellie.”
“Wanted to do something nice for you,” how could she be so effortlessly sweet.
You nodded and hopped in, her truck was an older model, a chevy. It was nice, inside smelled like pine and cologne..
Do her and spidey share the same cologne?
Now that you think about it, they have a lot of similarities… they’re both nerds, smell like pine, tobacco, and that cologne, same height, and the same music taste.. weird.
Could Ellie be.. Spidey?
You almost let out a laugh at the thought. There’s no universe in which Ellie is Spider-Man. For one, she’s too shy compared to the flirty masked man, two, she’s never been able to hold a conversation with you without turning it back to tutoring.. and three, she’s a girl.. not a man.
Guess I have a type.
“To school or..?”
“Uh, school.. can you drop me off at the cafe across the street? I wanna change before class..” you say, a little embarrassed.
Ellie doesn’t say anything, she just nods as she pulls into the cafe parking lot.
You huff, “Hey, Ellie? Um.. can.. can you not tell anyone? It’s not that I’m embarrassed but y’know.. kids at our school can be mean when it comes to class and..”
Ellie nods, “Don’t I know it?”
You feel a pang of guilt as she says that, you knew Ellie wasn’t as well off as your family was.. in the first two years of college, she was belittled because of it. You didn’t participate in it, of course, but you wish you hadn’t just stood by and turned the other way, “Sorry..”
“I-It’s fine, fuck, sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel bad.. but.. can I ask you a question?”
You nod, “Sure.”
“Why are you working there? You also model.. it can’t be to make extra cash, right? I mean your family is rich and—.”
You interrupt her, “I.. I know. My family’s rich and whatever but come on, there’s no way that my family, a family of politicians would ever want me to be a doctor. To them, being a doctor isn’t anywhere as good as being senator.. or governor..” you scoff.
“Fuck, sorrry..”
“Mhm.. so when I told my father that I wanted to be a doctor, he told me that I’d have to do it on my own since he didn’t see it as an ‘investment,” you fiddled with the hem of your skirt, “So that’s why I work two jobs and apply for all those scholarships..”
“I had no idea, Y/n.. that’s really something.”
You smile at her.
“Can I ask you one more thing?”
“Of course.”
“Why the fuck does your name tag say ‘Mary Jan’,” she pointed at your name tag, the perplexed expression on her face eliciting a laugh out of you.
“Oh, that.. well, Darlene, er, my shift manager gave it to me like that. I guess Mary Jane was a waitress who worked there before me, she was a aspiring actor, apparently, she’s on broadway now.. so, I decided to keep it, hoping that her luck might rub off on me,” you giggled, “That and when I first started modelling, I had this creep stalker so I took on the name Mary Jane in hopes that it’d shake him off.”
Ellie laughs, “Makes sense.”
You nod and grab your duffel to head inside, “I’ll be right back.”
Inside the cafe’s restroom, you bury your face into your palms.
Fuck, fuck, fuck! I can’t believe she saw me in this dorky uniform! I must look like a hotdog!
After putting on your normal clothes, you touched up your makeup and hair and made your way back out.
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
You ended up studying in the library late into the night. You had to pass this test coming up and you didn’t feel like seeing Ellie again. As much as you liked her, you couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated that she wasn’t affected by that night’s events… had she felt nothing?
You were too entranced in your thinking to realize that someone had sat right next to you at the bus stop.
“Hey, got a light?”
You rolled your eyes, prepared to fight off another disgusting man, “I don’t so why don’t you just—!” Your breath hitched in your throat as your eyes laid on the red and blue figure in front of you, “Fuck, sorry.. didn’t know it was you..”
Spidey laughed into his fist as he nudged you with his shoulder, “Why are you out here so late?”
“Ugh, I have this test in chem coming up so I had to study.”
“Really? Why didn’t you tell—.”
“What was that?”
“Uh.. why.. why didn’t you tell your teacher?”
You cocked your head to the side, “What?”
“Nothing!”
You chuckled, “Y’know, you remind me a lot of this girl I know. “
“R-Really?”
“Yeah, haha, you two are way too similar, so similar that I found myself wondering if you were the same person, “you giggled.
Ellie’s should left her body.
“Whaaaatttt, that’s crazyyyyy.”
You giggle, “I know, there’s no way you two are the same person.. I mean she’s way too awkward,” ouch, “she doesn’t look all that athletic,” damage: -20, “she also can’t really flirt,” i totally can.. just not without the mask, “Also, you’re a man and she’s a girl..” damn.
Spidey’ sighed, “Yeah.. I don’t know.. she sounds cool!”
You nod, a soft smile gracing your lips, “Yeah.. she’s ‘cool.’”
“Do you.. do you like her?”
You blush, “I don’t know.. maybe? Like, I like her, hell, we even made out but.. turns out that I was the only one affected by it.. she doesn’t even seem all that bothered or anything.. I don’t know, maybe I just played myself? I’m pretty sure that if I were the last girl on earth, she would still never go out with me..” you rub your eyes, “Argh, I don’t know.. she’s hot and cold, too hard to read.”
“Sorry..,” you hear Spidey mumble.
“At least I have you, hm? Good ol spidey, here to save the day.”
He looks at you, you wish you could peel his mask back to see what kind of face he was making, without thinking, your fingers lift up to his face. He notices and within the blink of an eye, he’s gone..
ELLIE’S POV:
“F-Fuck,” Ellie whispered, her hand on her chest to steady her breathing as she peaked around the ledge of a rooftop at you, still sitting and waiting for the buss, “That was too damn close, Ellie, what the fuck were you thinking? Shouldn’t be letting her get that close..”
Ellie felt guilty as she watched you all alone, you must be feeling pretty shitty right now, huh? I mean, not only has Ellie left you high and dry… but now, so has spidey..
Ellie lowered herself onto the ground, even though she left you down there all by yourself, she wasn’t gonna leave you vulnerable in New York City at night.. so might as well get comfy while we wait for your bus, right?
───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────
taglist: @elliecoochieeater @wavesgocrash @g3latin @elliesflowersblog @usuck @elliessweetheart @miss-chananandler-bong @lvlymicha @prettywhnyoucry @g0d-wont-let-me-die @errorlovernotfound99 @thatgiraffefromtlou
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