#the source is one of those bully romance books

[latibvles]

Forgot that this was in Daisy and Ron’s pinboard but now that I’ve seen it I cannot forget it so now I am bestowing this upon all of you.

source: Saffron A. Kent

[herstoryheaven]

Draco Malfoy x Reader: Venom And Vulnerability

Prompt: Y/n, a Muggle-born Slytherin, struggles to fit in among pure-bloods, especially under the torment of Draco Malfoy. As their rivalry evolves into something deeper, Draco becomes Y/n's unexpected source of comfort, leading to an unlikely romance.

Reader: Gender Neutral

Word count: 3259

Average reading time: 11 min 50 sec

Category: Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: This story contains themes of emotional distress, bullying, and manipulation. If you are sensitive to these topics, please read with care.

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Disclaimer: All events portrayed in my stories are fictitious. Any resemblance to actual events is purely coincidental. Any actions or behaviours portrayed by the characters may differ from reality and cannot be connected to any actual person. This work is purely fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only.

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The Slytherin common room was as cold as ever, the air thick with whispers and sneers. I sat in my usual corner, pretending to read a book I had no interest in. My eyes drifted over the same sentence repeatedly, unable to focus as the flames in the fireplace flickered, casting chilling shadows across the stone walls. This place had always felt more like a cage than a home.

It wasn’t easy being a muggle-born in Slytherin. From the moment the sorting hat declared “Slytherin!” on my first day, the room had gone deadly silent. The weight of all those eyes on me had been suffocating. I had tried to shake off the discomfort, standing tall and proud, but deep down, I knew that my life in Slytherin was going to be a constant battle.

The pure-bloods saw me as a freak, a mistake. It didn’t matter how well I performed in classes or how hard I tried to fit in. They only saw my blood status, something that, in their eyes, made me less than them. And no one reminded me of that more often than Draco Malfoy.

“Oi, Y/n, can’t you find somewhere else to lurk?” Pansy Parkinson’s shrill voice cut through the common room like a knife. She was sitting with Daphne Greengrass and Millicent Bulstrode, all of them staring at me with matching sneers.

I looked up, meeting her gaze with a cold glare. “This is my common room too, Parkinson. I’ll sit wherever I please.”

She snorted, her lips curling in disapproval. “You’d think with your background, you’d be more… respectful to your betters.”

Millicent and Daphne giggled, a sharp, mocking sound that grated against my nerves. I felt a surge of anger rising within me, the kind that burned hot and bright, but I forced it down. I wanted to lash out, to say something cutting, but I knew it would only make things worse. They thrived on my reactions, and I refused to give them the satisfaction.

Before I could respond, Malfoy walked over, his usual entourage of Crabbe and Goyle trailing behind him. His silver eyes locked onto mine, and I braced myself for whatever cruel remarks he had in store.

“Still playing pretend, Y/n?” Draco’s voice was smooth, laced with mockery. “I’m sure the professors find your little act amusing, but we all know the truth, don’t we?”

I clenched my fists, forcing myself to remain calm. “And what truth is that, Malfoy?”

He stepped closer, his presence looming over me like a storm cloud ready to burst. “That you don’t belong here. No matter how hard you try, you’ll never be one of us.”

The words stung, more than I cared to admit. It felt like he had taken the doubts that plagued me every night and voiced them for the whole world to hear. But I wouldn’t let him see that. I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction. “You don’t get to decide who belongs here, Malfoy.” I spat, my voice shaking slightly despite my best efforts.

His smirk widened, as if he could sense the cracks in my armor. “No, but the rest of us do. And it seems like the agreement is pretty clear.”

I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing the hurt in my eyes, so I looked away, staring at the flickering flames in the fireplace. They reflected in his eyes, cold and unyielding, as he leaned in closer.

“Leave her alone, Draco.” Blaise Zabini’s voice cut in from behind him. Blaise, one of the few Slytherins who didn’t actively partake in the daily harassment, stepped forward, his dark eyes narrowed at Draco.

Draco glanced at Blaise, his expression tightening for just a moment, something unreadable passing between them. He looked almost… conflicted. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by that infuriating smirk. “You’re lucky, Y/n.” he said, his tone cold and dismissive. “Zabini’s got a soft spot for lost causes.”

His words hit harder than they should have. They made me feel small, insignificant, like a mistake that shouldn’t even exist. But instead of breaking down, I felt anger build up, hot and blinding. I opened my mouth to snap back, to say something, anything, to wipe that smug look off his face, but the words died on my tongue.

Draco turned and walked away, his friends following after him like obedient shadows. I stayed rooted to the spot, the sting of his words lingering in the air long after he was gone. Blaise gave me a small nod before turning back to his book, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I knew he meant well, but his intervention only made things worse. It reminded me of how isolated I was in this house, how I was constantly in need of someone’s protection, as if I were some fragile thing that couldn’t stand on its own.

I tried to push the encounter out of my mind as I returned to my book, but the words blurred on the page, my frustration and hurt boiling just beneath the surface. I could feel the eyes of my housemates on me, their judgment like a physical weight pressing down on my shoulders. The walls of the common room seemed to close in, the air growing colder, heavier, with every passing second.

I couldn’t take it anymore. Slamming my book shut, I stood up abruptly, the noise echoing in the silent room. Heads turned in my direction, and I could feel their eyes on me, filled with judgment, disdain, and worst of all, pity.

Ignoring the whispered insults that followed me, I stormed out of the common room, my footsteps echoing harshly against the stone floors. I needed to get away, to find somewhere I could breathe, somewhere I didn’t feel the constant suffocation of their expectations and judgments on muggle-borns.

As I hurried away, I couldn’t help but glance back, just once. Draco was still watching me, his expression unreadable, but there was a flicker of something in his eyes, something that almost looked like regret. It caught me off guard, and for a moment, I hesitated, but then I shook my head, pushing the thought away. Whatever it was, it didn’t matter. I couldn’t let myself believe that he cared, not after all these years.

The dungeons were dark and cold, the silence broken only by the echo of my footsteps as I wandered aimlessly. My thoughts swirled in a chaotic mess, a storm of anger, hurt, and confusion. How much longer could I keep this up? How much longer could I pretend that their words didn’t affect me?

I turned a corner and found myself in an empty classroom. The door creaked as I pushed it open, and I slipped inside, closing it behind me. The room was dimly lit by a few scattered candles, the shadows dancing on the walls like specters.

It was here, in the silence, that everything I had been holding back finally broke free. The anger, the pain, the loneliness, all of it came crashing down on me, and I collapsed against the wall, my knees giving out as the first sob escaped my lips.

I buried my face in my hands, my body shaking with the force of my cries. I had fought so hard to be strong, to prove that I belonged in Slytherin, but it felt like I was losing the battle. No matter what I did, it was never enough. They would never accept me, never see me as anything other than a Muggle-born intruder.

All I wanted was to belong, to feel like I had a place in this world that didn’t require me to constantly fight for every scrap of respect. But here, in the heart of Slytherin, surrounded by those who saw me as less than, I felt more alone than ever.

-----

I sat there, my body trembling from the force of my sobs, when the door creaked open behind me. I was too lost in my misery to care who had found me, too consumed by the hurt to acknowledge their presence.

“Y/n.” Draco’s voice broke the silence, slicing through the darkness like a knife. My breath hitched in my throat, tension flooding my veins. Of all the people who could have walked in, he was the last person I wanted to see.

“Go away,” I choked out, my voice hoarse and broken. “Just… leave me alone.”

But instead of the retreating footsteps I longed to hear, I listened as the door closed softly, the sound final, like a lock clicking into place. His footsteps drew closer, slow and steady, and before I could react, I felt his hands on me. He pulled me into his chest with a firmness that made it clear he wasn’t planning to let go.

I stiffened in his arms, my entire body locking up at the unexpected contact. “Let me go.” I whispered, my voice barely audible as I weakly tried to push him away. But he didn’t budge. Instead, he held me tighter, the warmth of his body pressing against the cold that had settled in my bones, threatening to melt the ice that had formed around my heart.

“I’m not letting you go.” Draco murmured, his breath warm against my ear. His voice, usually so sharp and cutting, was surprisingly gentle, sending a shiver down my spine. “Not until you listen to me.”

I struggled against him, my fists feebly pounding against his chest, but it was no use. I was too drained, too tired to fight him, and fresh tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. “Why are you doing this?” I cried, my voice breaking under the weight of my despair. “Why now? After everything…”

“Because I’ve been a fool.” he confessed, his voice thick with an emotion I had never heard from him before, regret. “I’ve been blind, and I’ve hurt you in ways I can never take back. But I’m here now, Y/n. I’m here, and I’m not going to let you go.”

His words only made me cry harder, the fight draining out of me as I slumped against him, my hands clutching at his robes in desperation. It was as if he was the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely. “You don’t understand.” I sobbed, my voice muffled against his chest. “You’ll never understand…”

“Maybe not.” he whispered, his lips brushing against the shell of my ear in a way that sent another shiver down my spine. “But I want to. I want to make things right, Y/n. Please, just… let me.”

I shook my head, the pain in my chest overwhelming, crushing. “You can’t. It’s too late. I’m broken, Draco. I’m so tired of fighting…”

His arms tightened around me, his voice dropping to a low, soothing murmur as he held me close. “Then stop fighting, Y/n. Stop fighting me. And let me care for you.”

His words wrapped around me like a promise, tempting me to believe, to trust in something I wasn’t sure I could. “How can I trust you?” I whispered, my voice trembling as I looked up at him, my tear-streaked face searching his for any sign of deception.

Draco pulled back slightly, just enough to tilt my chin up with the tips of his fingers, forcing me to meet his gaze. His silver eyes, usually so cold and calculating, now held a sincerity that made my heart ache. “I know I don’t deserve your trust,” he said quietly, his thumb brushing softly against my cheek, wiping away a stray tear. “But I’m going to earn it, Y/n. Every day, I’m going to prove to you that I’m not the same person I was. Because you’re worth it. You’re worth everything.”

Before I could respond, he leaned in, his breath ghosting over my lips as he hovered there for a moment, giving me a chance to pull away. When I didn’t, he pressed his lips to mine, capturing my mouth in a kiss that was both tender and possessive, filled with all the things he couldn’t say.

The kiss stole the breath from my lungs, leaving me dizzy and disoriented. I was too shocked to respond at first, my mind struggling to catch up with the reality of what was happening. But then, something inside me snapped, and I found myself kissing him back, my hands fisting in his robes as I pulled him closer, clinging to him like he was the only solid thing in a world that had suddenly turned upside down.

Draco growled low in his throat, the sound vibrating against my lips as he deepened the kiss, his hand sliding up to tangle in my hair, holding me in place as he took control. His other hand trailed down my back, his touch firm and possessive, sending sparks of heat through my body.

He pulled away slightly, his lips hovering just over mine as he whispered, “You’re mine, Y/n. No one else’s. Do you understand?” His voice was low and rough, filled with a need that made my knees weak.

I nodded, unable to find my voice, too overwhelmed by the intensity in his eyes, the way he looked at me like I was the only thing that mattered. He smirked, satisfied with how easily I gave in, and leaned in to press a soft kiss to the corner of my mouth, then my jaw, then lower, his lips trailing down the side of my neck.

My breath hitched as he found the sensitive spot just below my ear, his lips and teeth teasing the skin there. “Draco…” I whispered, my voice trembling as I clutched at him, unsure whether I was trying to pull him closer or push him away.

He hummed in response, the sound vibrating against my skin as he continued to pepper kisses along my neck, his hand sliding under my robes to caress the bare skin of my back. “I’ve got you.” he murmured, his voice soothing as he pulled me closer, his body pressing against mine in a way that made my head spin. “I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, not anymore. You’re safe with me.”

He tilted my head to the side, his lips brushing over my ear as he whispered, “You’re the princess of Slytherin now, my princess, and I’ll make sure you will always be happy and protected, Y/n. I swear it.”

His words sent a shiver down my spine, and I closed my eyes, letting myself get lost in the feeling of his lips on my skin, the warmth of his body against mine. For the first time in a long time, I felt… safe. Protected. And as much as I wanted to hold onto my anger, my hurt, I found it slipping away, replaced by something softer, something that scared me even more.

Draco’s lips found mine again, and this time, the kiss was slower, more careful, as if he was savoring the moment, committing every detail to memory. When he finally pulled back, we were both breathless, our foreheads resting against each other’s.

“I’m not going anywhere, Y/n.” he whispered, his voice filled with a quiet determination that made my heart skip a beat. “I’m going to prove to you that you can trust me, that I’m not the same person I was. And I’ll start by protecting you from anyone who dares to hurt you.”

His words wrapped around me like a promise, a vow that he would keep no matter what it took. And as much as I wanted to doubt him, to push him away, I found myself nodding, my heart daring to believe that maybe, just maybe, things could be different. That maybe, with him by my side, I didn’t have to fight alone anymore.

-----

After that night, everything between Draco and me changed.

The walls that had once divided us were replaced with a connection I never thought possible. Draco, who had been the source of so much pain and frustration, now became the one person I could rely on. The harsh, cold demeanor he had always worn like armor softened whenever we were alone, revealing a side of him that I had never imagined existed.

In the days that followed, Draco made good on his promises. His change was nothing short of impressive. He was always there, watching over me, making sure that no one dared to hurt me again. The whispers in the common room, once so biting and cruel, began to fade away. No one wanted to cross Draco Malfoy, and with him by my side, they knew better than to even try.

Our relationship, though new, was intense. Draco was possessive, his protective streak evident in everything he did. He walked me to every class, sat with me during meals, and his gaze never strayed far from me when we were in the common room. It was as if he had devoted himself to protecting me, and in some strange way, I found comfort in that.

But it wasn’t just about protection. Draco was unexpectedly tender, constantly surprising me with small gestures of affection. He would brush his fingers lightly against my hand under the table, or tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear as we studied in the library. He was always near, his presence like a shield against the rest of the world.

And at night, when the weight of the day would press down on me, he was there to hold me, to whisper soothing words in my ear until the anxiety and fear melted away. He would trail kisses along my skin, his touch gentle yet firm, grounding me in the moment, reminding me that I wasn’t alone.

There were moments when the old doubts would creep in, when I would question how things had changed so quickly, but Draco was always there to quiet those fears. “I'm yours, love.” he would murmur, his voice filled with a possessive tenderness that both thrilled and terrified me. “No one will ever hurt you again.”

The Draco Malfoy who had once been my enemy was gone, replaced by someone who saw me, who valued me. He wasn’t perfect, he still had a temper, still had his moments of arrogance, but with me, he was different. He was softer, more open, his sharp edges dulled by the feelings he clearly struggled to express. And I found myself falling for him, despite everything, despite all the reasons why I shouldn’t.

But perhaps the most surprising thing was how natural it felt. What had started as a relationship forged out of pain and misunderstanding had transformed into something deeper, something real. We were still figuring things out, still navigating the complexities of our feelings, but we were doing it together.

In Draco’s arms, I found the safety and security I had craved for so long. And in me, Draco found someone who accepted him for who he was, flaws and all. We were an unlikely pair, the Muggle-born Slytherin and the prince of pure-blood supremacy, but somehow, it worked.

Draco had become my protector, my confidant, and, against all odds, my lover. And as we stood together, facing the world that had once sought to tear me apart, I knew that whatever challenges lay ahead, we would face them side by side. Because, for the first time I didn’t feel alone. I felt cherished. I felt loved.

And that was worth everything.

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Copyright: All stories contained herein are the intellectual property of the author. Unauthorized copying, reproduction, or distribution of these stories, in whole or in part, without explicit written permission from the author, is strictly prohibited and may result in legal action. Respect the creator's rights and creativity. For permissions or inquiries, please contact: herstoryheaven@gmail.com.

Request Guidelines: When submitting a request, please ensure that your request does not contain any explicit sexual content or graphic depictions, and avoid any form of extreme violence or graphic descriptions of violent acts. I appreciate your understanding and cooperation in maintaining a respectful and inclusive environment for all readers. If you're unsure about your request or want to request about someone I haven't written about yet, feel free to ask me anytime.

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[ya-world-challenge]

Here the Whole Time (🇧🇷 Brazil)

[image 1: book cover: closeup illustration on two boys lying on a bed in different directions, one with an eye open, the other asleep; image 2: a map showing Brazil, the largest country in South America; image 3: a small hotel pool in Brazil, surrounded by sides of the building, source: wikimedia]

Here the Whole Time

Quinze Dias / 15 Days in Portuguese

Author: Vitor Martin

World Challenge read for 🇧🇷 Brazil

Review

Felipe is looking forward to summer vacation, binge-watching media at home far away from the bullies that torture him for being fat. Until his mom informs him that his neighbor and crush Caio, will be sharing his room for the next 15 days.

I went into this book expecting rom-com room-sharing antics and teenage angst. What I got was way better. This was a really beautiful, honest conversation about body insecurities, bullying, and opening up to others. While those seem like heavy topics, this book is really like a big warm hug, to borrow from another reviewer's words. Felipe is super sweet and I want to cheer for him, and bonus points for a supportive single Cool Mom.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★    5 stars

Genres: #comtemporary #romance

Other reps: #gay #plus size #sapphic side couple

[kimberlyannharts]

LAST TIME ON RANGER ACADEMY: Sage is fully committing to the high school life, even if there are some obstacles like bullies, hard classes, her friend's tragic backstory, and the discovery of the Chamber of Secrets.

But there's no time to dwell on that, because it's time for the Morphin Trial, where kids are dumped in a hostile landscape to be color-coded by some weird old alien cult. Sounds legit!

It's Ranger Academy #4!

Before we begin let's take another look at that Katie cameo. Sure she doesn't do anything but drive the bus and I still have no fucking idea how these cameos work when they're appearing in-person vs those inter dimensional tubes but it's at least nice to see her

ANYWAY. Time to drop some children off to die

= So some lore stuff established already is the Bandorian Monks reside on the planet "Chromia" specifically in the "Zeo Chamber" in "Prism Peak." It only opens for a limited amount of time once a year. From what I can remember none of this, except the Zeo Chamber I suppose, was in Eltarian War's established lore, but I guess that can be chalked up to Ranger Academy being its own thing. (And for what it's worth, the Zeo Crystal itself is not in the chamber.)

= yes yes guys we get it you want that video game/RPG adaptation

= This is so valid of Theo but unfortunately for him I know what happens to PR characters with his kind of jokey, charismatic personality

= So are they going to be the book's main romance or not. I'm calling upon protection spells against sisterzoning

= NO NONON ONONONONON NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DON'T DO THIS

= So.....okay. Here it is. Here's the line

So obviously there are colors missing from the Academy and at the very least Theo's dialogue is implying that's on purpose. Which makes me hopeful for my old "Camp Half-Blood" theory that this book will end with more color campuses being added. And obviously, Theo's source isn't telling the whole story or getting facts wrong.

But. Look.

Even if Lindy's dialogue is only saying that Green and Orange Rangers don't exist in the Academy rather than the universe as a whole, the entire concept of certain colors being forbidden or unknown is ridiculous when this is a school that fully encompasses itself in Ranger history. Sage mentioned in a previous issue learning about Jen and why their library is named after her, so their adventures must be part of the curriculum. Even if it isn't, their teachers are Ranger alumni. ONES THAT HAD GREEN RANGERS ON THEIR TEAMS. Their bus driver was KATIE! She can't talk about Trip, her best friend? Crueger never brings up how Green is the third-highest ranking ranger at SPD? I think this wouldn't even annoy me so much if they weren't equating Oranger Rangers (of which there have only been three official ones in the franchise, with others being so-so canon) to Green Rangers (of which there's only been. four seasons, I believe? where there was no Green at all). I know Power Rangers wants Green to be special but it just simply doesn't work because by definition, it isn't.

I think this would only work for me if a) we establish that the present of Ranger Academy is set either extremely far in the past or extremely far in the future, where Rangers either barely exist yet OR it's been so long that the canon we know has been shrouded in legend or b) we didn't have the alumni ranger cameos and we establish this school is completely cut off from the established canon we know. And the last one doesn't work because they clearly want the cameos to be one of the main gimmicks of the series. So idk. It's probably Ranger Academy's biggest headache for me

And just in general I don't know how "forbidden colors" work when the students' color is just chosen based on what the Monks see inside them. It should be unique to them, not based on a criteria that can pick and choose or throw out different options.

ANYWAY. The trio finds Kartyr and Maev and, unsurprisingly, these children are about to die

= what's with Green Rangers having to rescue their rivals that suffer broken ankles. Oops, spoilers

= Sage has only been part of this school for a few months and she's already indoctrinated into their religion

= Kartyr is such a hater for no reason. You should be connecting with your green-haired brethren

= Also I just realized that Kartyr is most likely a Xybrian yet he doesn't follow the naming motif that Trip and the Supersonic Rangers did. I won't hold it against the author as the Supersonic Ranger origin story is pretty obscure but still, it's funny to me.

Though wait if he's a Xybrian shouldn't he know about Trip and how he's a Green R [I am yanked offstage via a giant hook]

= Okay guys I get we're using MMPR theming but are really trying to say Pink Rangers are good pilots? Because what, Kim had flying zords? That's getting a little ridiculous. What's next, Pink Rangers are all amazing archers?

= Maev becoming Yellow was a little surprising since Mathis is already a major character who's yellow, but at the same time I'm really not sure.....what the guidelines are to what color each person becomes. It feels kind of arbitrary at this point tbh. Though maybe it's just because I don't really know Maev as a character yet compared to Theo, who fits the Black Ranger archetype like a glove

and speaking of which

= Lindy not being able to morph genuinely pissed me off like. Again. What are the guidelines here. What about Lindy isn't ranger-worthy. Can I just call the Bandorian Monks racist for denying a Black girl the chance to morph because I think I'll just do that

= SHAME SHAME SHAME SHE HAS THE MARK OF THE DEVIL (her novelty lightning bolt coin turned green, a color that has never existed before this)

[scorbleeo]

Book Review: Attachments

by Rainbow Rowell

Source: Google Images

It's 1999 and the internet is still a novelty. At a newspaper office, two colleagues, Beth and Jennifer, e-mail back and forth, discussing their lives in hilarious details, from love troubles to family dramas. And Lincoln, a shy IT guy responsible for monitoring e-mails, spends his hours reading every exchange.

At first their e-mails offer a welcome diversion, but the more he reads, the more he finds himself falling for one of them. By the time Lincoln realises just how head-over-heels he is, it's too late to introduce himself.

After a series of close encounters, Lincoln eventually decides he must follow his heart… and find out if there is such a thing as love before first sight.

ISBN: 9781409120537 (2012) | Source: Goodreads

A No For Me

I wonder, if I had read Attachments at its peak or when it was first published, would I have find it cute too? I hope not, but I don't really remember what kind of reader I was so many years ago. Now, I definitely do not find this romance cute, not even a tiny bit.

Reading Attachments pissed me off more often than not. It made me so confused in terms of how I felt about the book and the reading journey. For example, I hate Lincoln's obsession with Beth but any other time? I freaking love that man. That was pretty much how I felt the whole time reading this book, I might love the character but then they go and do something and I just hate loving them.

I started out liking Beth actually. Jennifer was the one who irritated me because what was her deal with the "pregnancy scare" when she refused to get a kit and take the test? But those feelings changed very quickly. I liked Jennifer a lot more after I started knowing her. On the other hand, the second Beth started gushing over her cute guy, I had no reason to like Beth. I don't care how neglected she was in her relationship with Chris, the way Beth gushed and obsessed after her cute guy was a form of emotional cheating I will never accept. That form of emotional cheating was lowkey reaching cheating. Personally, Beth is red flag walking.

There was also those email exchanges about Emelie. I understand there's a slight difference in today's society and the society when this book was published. So, I try not to fault this bit on Rowell's writing. Of course, that does not mean I have to like or accept it. I hated it. I hated how those women were belittling Emelie on things she had no control over. I hated that upon reading those emails, Lincoln looked at Emelie with similar lenses. I might have let it slip if Emelie was a mean one but she was such a sweet person and it was horrible reading about them bullying her.

Really, the romance part of Attachments is the part I hated about this book. Other than that, I actually enjoyed my time. I loved reading the book when Lincoln was doing anything else that does not revolve around Beth. Otherwise, it's weird and downright creepy. Reading those emails, I can accept. Following someone home? Big no. I just cannot imagine how was this a cute story.

If Attachments ended just as Lincoln caught Beth's eyes in the theatre, I might not have disliked this book as much as I did.

Rating: ★★☆☆☆ (2.5/5)

[bookloveravenue]

The Loyal Boys (book 2): Bad Boy by Charli Meadows

Linc

This small town is stifling, and my parents are overbearing. They only care about how others perceive us and sustaining the family legacy. I’m drowning from the pressure they’ve placed on me to be the perfect son, have perfect grades, and wear perfect, preppy clothes. No parties, no friends, no trouble, and certainly no fun.

But everything changes when chaos storms into town in the form of Remington Michaels. The mysterious and dangerous new kid everyone is whispering about. They say he killed someone at his old school. That he’s a brutal fighter. But I don’t believe it. Not with the way he’s always there—protecting me, watching me, touching me.

I have no idea what’s brewing between us, but I’m helpless to stop it when we find ourselves sharing a cabin and becoming friends with benefitsall in the first week. You see, he really is a bad boy. But maybe, just maybe, I could be good for him.

Remi

After getting arrested and expelled from my old school in Detroit, Mom had no choice but to move us back to her hometown. Somewhere I’ve never even been. And we’re staying with my eccentric grandpa, whom I’ve never even met.

This new neighborhood—this new school—isn’t what I expected for a place tucked deep in the mountains of North Carolina. The elitism, the bullies, the social structures—I want no part of it. But then I meet the shy, stumbling Lincoln Anderson. He ignites something inside of me, and I’m drawn to him—his goodness, his quiet resolution. I can’t leave him alone. Won’t leave him alone. Even when an unknown threat from my past endangers everything.

I’m no stranger to putting my fists up, and it doesn’t take long to decide that I’ll wreck anyone who steps near Linc. The thing is, he doesn’t want me to. They say I’m a bad boy, but I think maybe I could be good for him.

Bad Boy is a 96,000-word friends-with-benefits-to-lovers gay romance. It is book two in The Loyal Boys Series, a collection of standalone contemporary M/M romances. You can expect opposites attract, forced proximity, hurt/comfort, and steamy first times. This novel is intended for 18+ readers and contains explicit scenes, violence, language, and bullying from outside sources. See Author’s Note for a full list of Content Warnings.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/69551468-bad-boy

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June 15, 2023

My Review: 5/5 Stars

In trouble and arrested again, Remi's mom has had enough. She decides to take him back to her hometown for a fresh start. The same place she ran away when she was sixteen and pregnant. Remi has no idea about the life his mom lived before she left with his terrible drunk father. But after meeting is grandpa and the place his lives, he can't help but feel cheated about the life he could have had. Especially when he meets Lincoln. The boy next door and the boy who captures his heart from the moment they meet. Lincoln has been stuck doing everything his parents want of him. He has no control over his life, and he doesn't really have many friends. He can't just be himself. But that changes when he meets bad boy Remi. Remi who actually cares about him, wants to protect him, and just lets Lincoln be who he wants to be. There is no pretending with Remi. And it doesn't take very long for them to jump right into being something more so soon after they meet. Is it crazy? Maybe. But both know that the spark between them isn't something you can find every day. However, trouble is on the horizon when Remi starts getting threatening texts. Someone from his past is coming after him. His father? Someone he beat in his illegal street fights? Doesn't matter to Remi because no matter how terrified he may of these threats, he has those he loves to protect. And he'll fight whoever in order to keep them safe. Really loved this story! Devoured it immediately. Remi and Lincoln had great chemistry despite being opposites. They just worked and it was easy to see how these two fell for one another so quickly. Definitely looking forward to the next book in this series!

[caffeine-n-words]

So, I got a very oddly bitter article in my inbox this morning, from a person I normally enjoy and usually talks about fandom drama. Except this wasn't about fandom drama, this was about indie authors.

Note: I am not a romance author. I write mainly fantasy, and a few forays into soft sci-fi exist on my hard drive. However, some of the best writing advice I've seen and the most encouragement I've gotten has come out of romance circles.

Before I continue, please read the article here. Like I said, normally I like JD's fandom takes, so if you read a few of her other articles and enjoy them, I'd say she's worth subscribing to.

JD opens with Susan Meachen's scam, which has been two years in the making--the indie romance author faked her own death, got free crowd-sourced editing on her last manuscript before she "died," received donations for her "funeral," and then popped up on Facebook two years later. Someone claiming to be her daughter had posted to the group originally, saying she had been bullied into suicide.

I'm not going to go into the whole thing. JD's article links a few articles, including a Buzzfeed one about the whole thing.

JD talks about Meachen's victims looking into what, if anything, they could do, and then veers into how scams and drama are not uncommon in indie romance.

Okay, yeah, that's true. It's the law of numbers--there are more indie romance authors than any other genre, so scams appear more often. What JD does not acknowledge is that there are also scams in the other genres. Maybe she felt it was unnecessary?

JD clearly doesn't like romance as a genre, because she calls trad pub romance "comfortingly predictable and soothingly boring." Which. I hate to be the one to point this out, but. That's a pretty recent development. And ignores trad pubbed erotic romance entirely. Because apparently, according to her, that's the realm of indie romance.

I'm going to point out here that both the "comfortingly predictable and soothingly boring" books and the "just on the edge of acceptable" books are in both trad and indie.

JD then goes on to say indie romance is also where we go to see some "major foot-in-mouth disease," and lists things like "spend more time talking about writing than actually writing," "filing the numbers off fanfictions, full on plagiarism scandals," and "trying to explain the legendary romance novelist Nora Roberts." And that trad romance has its drama, but it "doesn't hold a candle" to what indie romance comes up with. She ends by saying the only writing community with more audacity and bullying is fandom writing.

Let's break that down a bit.

The law of numbers, again--yes, those things appear more in the romance genre. But again, they appear anywhere. It looks like there's more of them in romance, because technically there is...because there are more romance authors than any other genre. And they also all happen in trad with astonishing frequency, they're just better covered up.

That said, the only bad thing on that list (disregarding "major foot-in-mouth disease" for a moment) is the plagiarism scandals.

"Spend more time writing than actually writing." Heaven forbid they talk about writing? I'm not sure why this is being lumped in with everything else. Writers share writing advice. That's not a bad thing. They talk about things they did, what worked, what didn't, suggest what you can try, and they don't necessarily care if you're also a romance author. That doesn't mean they aren't writing, which is the very strong implication JD gives.

"Filing serial numbers off fanfictions." Again, this also happens in trad romance. Actually, the worst examples have been barely-edited trad books. Usually when I see fanfics being indie published, it's both plagiarism and an obvious scam--they've stolen someone's fanfic and are looking to make a quick buck--and they're not just romance. But downloading and re-uploading someone else's book doesn't make you a writer or an author, and again, since it isn't just romance, I'm not sure why this is being laid at indie romance's feet. It's not exactly super common for indie authors to reskin their fanfics as their mainstay; they do it with the one they think people would like the most, and then write original stuff from there.

"Trying to explain the legendary romance novelist Nora Roberts." This one was...eyebrow raising. Because if you read the article, you'll see JD calls someone who does this a "blithering Karen." It's not unusual for indie authors, especially indie romance authors, to try to figure out how to write more and/or more quickly. Successful authors need to keep their books in front of readers' eyes, and they need a backlist. This is widely acknowledged, and the best way to do both of these is to write, edit, etc., the next book and get it up there as quickly as possible. It's called "rapid releasing" (and if you would like me to explain that in more detail, let me know!). Nora Roberts is trad, but she writes quickly and has more frequent releases than anyone else. Honestly, I can't think of anyone who might have written and released more as a trad author of any genre, romance included. But also, I don't think I've seen anyone try to "explain" her success so much as share her own writing advice. There's nothing wrong with sharing that advice, so I'm not sure why JD's so offended here.

"Major foot-in-mouth disease." Yes, people will clash in the indie romance community. There's more of them so of course it's more visible there. These clashes happen in every writing community and every genre. Actually, there's a lot of drama that happens in the sci-fi community; you just don't usually see it because there isn't as much interest in sci-fi.

It's pretty clear that JD doesn't like indie romance. There's nothing wrong with that. But blithely ignoring the same problems in trad romance, or other genres (indie or trad) is a little unusual. There's also a lot here that aren't actually problems, but are being presented as such. And considering that she ignores these things happening in trad circles and other genres, I can only conclude that these are standards she only holds for indie romance authors.

And that? Is a problem.

[cottagecori]

to all the loves you might have known (ch. 1)

stiles stilinski x reader

read on ao3

words: 3k

summary: If your favorite romance novels taught you anything, it's that the only way to save yourself from love is to pretend you have never known its call. To avoid falling prey to the tragedy that is romance, each time you fell in love, you did what every great novel protagonist does. You wrote about it, but never acted on it. Love letters, penned to each owner of a piece of your heart, were hidden away and never to be read by anyone but yourself.

But what will happen when the letters are sent out without you knowing? Will anything ever be the same again?

notes: just a heads up - Kira moved to Beacon Hills in the 6th grade, reader moved in the 7th; no big bads will be coming for our pack in this fic; Allison is alive (she just moved), Argents adopted Isaac so he moved too (no Allison/Isaac relationship); I think that's it for now!! enjoy!! :)

You were never good at expressing your emotions, at least not to those who really needed to understand them. You tended to keep those feelings bottled up, locked away, and filed inside your own head never to be seen again. Usually, they were pretty easy to forget as you focused your time and attention on the people around you instead; but, there was one emotion that was harder to conceal than the rest.

Love.

You only believed yourself to have been in love five times (which, for a senior in high school, was actually a lot). Each time you fell, it felt as if the earth was crumbling around you and the only lifeline left was them. Their presence left you with an all-consuming passion that was sickening and overwhelming. You hated feeling that way, yet you silently craved it. More importantly, you had no idea how to deal with it.

When you first started to understand what it meant to love, you searched high and low for any clue on how to navigate this strange new land. In your frantic search for answers, you stumbled on what you believed to be the greatest source of wisdom you could find on the subject- Romance Novels .

If those books told you anything, it was that the only way to save yourself from love is to pretend you have never known its call. To avoid falling prey to the tragedy that is romance, each time you fell in love, you did what every great novel protagonist does. You wrote about it, but never acted on it.

You started out with a series of diary entries that took up page after page in your journal, but soon you realized that wasn't helping to rid yourself of your affection. So you began to write full, excruciatingly-detailed love letters to these people that, more than likely, did not remember who you were. The thought of said people finding out about this secret shame of yours was enough to make you want to flee the county, but the price of plane tickets being what they are, you decided it would be easier to simply hide the messages. So the love letters, penned to each owner of a piece of your heart, were hidden away and never to be read by anyone but yourself.

Your first letter was addressed to Derek, an older sleep-away camp counselor from when you went to Camp Triskelion in the 6th grade. You were into his brooding and so-called "mature" nature, oh how naive you were. The second was for your locker buddy Malia, your first ever crush on anyone who wasn't a boy. She protected you from idiotic bullies and treated you as if you were worthy of protecting. How could you not fall in love with your very own middle school knight-in-shining-armor?

The third belonged to Stiles, the recipient of your first almost kiss and your first actual kiss. His letter happened to be the longest, not that you were keeping track, and his was the crush that took the most time to recover from. For never having actually dated him, it was impressive how much he shattered your young heart.

The next letter was for the tortured yet beautiful Isaac, your lab partner in your sophomore year chemistry class. You had never been able to confide in someone as quickly or as deeply as you did with Isaac. He made the world seem lighter, more manageable, even when he felt the same world dragging him down into the dirt. Isaac was the only one you ever considered giving your letter to until he moved away in the middle of junior year. He did give you a letter before he left, but you never read it as you were afraid of what it could say. You tucked his letter in the bottom drawer of your desk with the rest of your own, out of sight but never out of mind.

Finally, there was Scott, the last subject of these letters. Scott McCall embodied the ideal man everyone spent their life looking for. He was kind, thoughtful, protective, observant, the captain of the lacrosse team, a volunteer at the animal shelter, and oh-so easy on the eyes. The entire school admired him from afar, or in any way they had the chance to. You were fortunate enough to admire him up close and personal. Scott was your next door neighbor, one of your closest friends...and the boyfriend of the best and most perfect person alive. Kira Yukimura.

You moved to Beacon Hills in the 7th grade, when friends had already been long established and becoming an outsider happened as quickly as the days turned to nights. Kira had been one of the only people to reach out to you, having been a new kid quite a few times herself. She absorbed you into her friend group and within five minutes of being around her, it was clear that the two of you were always meant to be in each other's lives. That's why you felt so awful about the fact that you had been in love with her boyfriend the entire time.

--

"Hey what's got you so far inside your own head?" Scott's voice brought you out of your daydream and back to the reality of picking at your half-eaten lunch while listening to him and Kira argue over who loves each other more.

"Oh! Nothing," Of course, he knew you were lying. If he couldn't tell from your heartbeat alone, he would know just from years of being your friend. All you could do was hope he wouldn't call you on it. "What were we talking about?"

Kira smiled at you with a warmth that rivaled the sun, burning away at the guilt in your stomach, "We were talking about how crazy it is that we're seniors, as cliche as that is! I mean, it feels like yesterday that I was pulling you out from under a mountain of papers in a middle school hallway."

"You know, I never did get revenge on Stiles for all those paper cuts," a laugh escaped you as you recalled the various band-aids that littered your arms and how Stiles had outwardly cringed whenever he saw them.

"Trust me, the guilt itself was revenge enough to last a lifetime," a familiar voice called out from behind you and even after all these years, it still brought chills up your spine.

A frantic blob of gray appeared beside you as Stiles plopped down in the extra seat at your lunch table, immediately and furiously scribbling in his notebook.

"Hey, Y/L/N," he said as he briefly looked up at you with a smile, which you weren't sure if you wanted to kiss or smack off of his face.

"Stilinski! Where's your owner? There must be a ginger queen running around somewhere searching high and low for her lap dog." You heard Scott choke on his water and Kira poorly attempting to hold in her laughter, but your attention was on the boy next to you.

"Ha ha," he muttered under his breath, trying not to catch your gaze with his own. Once he realized you were waiting for a reply, a sigh that could be felt through space and time left his lips. "She's...um interviewing new applicants for that position. Has been for a while , apparently, and I was the only one who hadn't gotten the memo! Lucky me!

"I got the official notice on Friday. And I really needed that reminder so thank you! I had not been kicked in the groin enough this weekend, so thanks for giving me another opportunity!" His head dropped onto his notebook, his arms shielding his face to try and hide his wounded expression from you.

As soon as he finished speaking and you saw that pained look in his eyes, you wondered how much it would cost to surgically remove your foot from your mouth.  "Mischief, I'm so sorry." And you were. Lydia was his everything for as long as anyone could remember. This was going to be a bitch and a half for him to deal with.

His bitter laugh seeped into his next words, "Stop acting like you aren't ecstatic about this, you hated her. You never liked us being together." His words were muffled by the notebook paper, but his tone rang loud and clear.

"Hey, hate is a strong word." You felt questioning eyes on you from the opposite end of the table, "Okay, maybe I hated her, but how I feel doesn't matter. Stiles, you were in love with her, this is gonna suck no matter what anyone thinks. Even if what I think is that you should want more than the one-sided relationship you had with her. You deserve better than that, Mischief."

He lifted up his head but avoided your gaze by turning his attention back to the ink covered page in front of him. "Yeah, well you can't always get what you want, right? Life never seems to work out that way. We should know more than most."

You tried your hardest not to let the disappointment cloud your face when you turned your body to face forward. Scott's eyes were still firmly planted on the side of Kira's face, oblivious to anything and anyone but her.

"Yeah, life's a bitch."

--

Hours later, you found yourself still thinking about the conversation from lunch.

"You can't always get what you want. We should know better than most."

Stiles's words echoed through your mind and left you thinking of only one thing, the letters. Those letters were the epitome of everything you wanted that you knew you could never have. They represented a fantasy. A fantasy that one day, when you sent those letters out, your love would finally become known and that love would be returned. They let you live in a fantasy world where you would be loved by the beautiful people that you always kept in your head but could never hold in your arms.

Maybe, that's why you kept the letters in the first place. Maybe, in the back of your mind, you knew that if you ever sent them out into the world, you would be faced with the reality that these people didn't love you, that they never would. If they ever knew of your affection, you could be faced with rejection, or worse, humiliation.

However, if they stayed with you, tucked away in a drawer, hidden under some old school papers and long-forgotten trinkets, the fantasy could stay alive. You could pretend that there was a possibility that they did love you. You could live in your head rather than having to come to terms with your reality.

Wanting to stay in your head a little longer, you decided to reread your letters. As you entered your room after school, you narrowed your focus onto the lower right drawer of your desk. You opened it, lifted the old school papers, and picked up the love letters from their hiding place. After shedding your backpack, you settled onto your desk chair and starting shuffling through the pile in your hands. Before you could decide on which one to read first, you heard your doorbell ring out through your front hall.

"Y/N! I think Liam's here for your study session! Do you want me to get the door or are you gonna come down?" your mother called out from the bottom of the stairs.

"I'm in the middle of something, mom! Can you send him up, please?" Quickly, you jumped up from your chair, shoved the letters back into their rightful place in the bottom of that lower right desk drawer, sat down on your bed, and did your best to look as inconspicuous as possible.

Seconds later, Liam pushed through your door and dropped his bag onto your desk chair, as he had done almost every Monday since you'd met him. "You ready to teach me how chemistry works?" His bright smile mirrored your own before he face-planted onto the bed beside you.

"I thought I was helping you understand history? What happened there? Why are we on chemistry instead?"

Liam flipped over onto his back to face you as he explained, "That was last year! World History was excruciating but I have a good enough grasp on US History that I'm like 92% sure I'll be okay. Plus, Mr. Yukimura knows what we go through, so he'll probably be more understanding if I miss an assignment because yet another person is threatening to kill us." You laughed along with him, the two of you trying to ignore the sting of knowing that danger was a given in your friend group.

"It's been one week of Mr. Harris and I'm ready to chew my own foot off just to have an excuse not to go to class," Liam spoke between gasps of silent laughter.

"Unless werewolves have developed a new ability to regenerate entire limbs that I am unaware of, let's keep your foot where it is, okay? If I remember correctly, there should still be some old flashcards and study guides from chemistry somewhere in my desk. Why don't you try to find those, and I'll get us some snacks. I have a feeling we're gonna be here for a while." You pulled yourself up from your spot and started toward the door.

"Do you know where in your desk they might be?"

Instead of turning around, you called over your shoulder, "No clue! Just start with the top drawers and work your way down!" Once you heard the sound of the drawers opening and papers shuffling, you made your way down the stairs.

After you had your arms full of snacks that would sufficiently feed a growing teenage werewolf, you made your way back toward your room.

"Okay, so I have doritos, popcorn, cheese-itz, pretzels, and crackers. I also have carrots and hummus if you're feeling more of a healthy vibe but I doubt that, so I'll take those. Oh and my mom made brownies but I didn't bring those with me so you'll have to go downstairs and get them if you wa-" You finally looked up from the pile of goods in your hands to see Liam holding five very familiar-looking envelopes.

Once he saw you in the doorway, he dropped the letters as if they burned him. "I am so sorry, Y/N. I was just looking for the study guides, and I found them! Yay! But when I lifted them up, I saw these, and you know me, I'm a naturally curious person so I picked them up when I saw some names that I recognized. I had no idea what they were a-and I was, yeah, I was  going to leave them alone but you were taking so long downstairs that I decide to read one. I mean, they weren't sealed and I didn't stop to think that, you know, maybe I shouldn't totally invade your privacy but I just kept reading and then you came into the room and now here we are...yeah."

You heard his voice, heard him speaking, but your brain couldn't seem to process his words as everything seemed to move in slow motion. You dumped the food on your bed and slowly crouched down to the floor, collecting the scattered papers. One by one, you stacked them in your hands. Malia, Isaac, Stiles, and Derek, all still hidden in their envelopes but...that's only four. You looked around and saw the last letter was outside its casing, the envelope cast to the side. When the realization hit you of what exactly Liam had read, your head snapped up to look at him.

"Liam, how far into this letter did you get?" You were sure he could sense the panic in your voice, your rapidly accelerating heart rate, the tears starting to well up in your eyes, but you were electing to ignore that. You could cry about this later. First, you needed to know how much damage had been done.

His face screamed of pity and remorse causing tears to cloud your vision. Met with silence, you asked again, "Liam. How much did you read?"

"Enough." He paused, not sure of how to handle this. To be fair, you didn't know either. "Y/N, why do you have these letters? Do they all say something like this? Why haven't you told him how you feel?" He sat down on the floor in front of you, carefully, so you wouldn't feel trapped by his presence. "Do you still feel this way? What about Kira?"

At the mere mention of Kira's name, the guilt in your stomach burned with a fiery rage and a lump in your throat made it harder to speak. "Liam, you can't tell anyone what you read. No one can know about this, okay? Not Stiles, not Scott, and especially not Kira. Please. Don't say anything about this."

You had evaded his questions, somehow telling him everything he needed to know. In your lack of response, he saw how alone you had been with these feelings and it scared him. He had never seen you this vulnerable before, he didn't think anyone had. For as long as he'd known you, you'd always had such a hard exterior, constantly trying to prove to the pack that you were strong and capable despite being one of the few humans among them. He thought you to be unshakeable, nearly invincible, but now, hearing your voice cracking and seeing the tears stream down your cheeks, he remembered that you were human. You were just a teenager, a heartbroken teenager who set their feelings to the side for the sake of others, and to protect yourself.

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, letting you collapse into his embrace, "It's okay, let it out. We don't have to talk about this right now. I'll wait till you're ready. Chemistry can wait for another day or another week. You're more important right now." He took the papers from your hands and laid them on the ground beside the two of you, curling you closer into him. He hoped you could feel his heartbeat and find comfort in the steady pulse.

Several minutes later, he was still holding you as tight as he could without hurting you. How long had you kept those letters? How long had you felt the things you wrote about yourself, about Scott? He brought himself out of his thoughts when he felt your breathing slow and your shaking stop. Liam pulled away to look down at your sleeping figure as a bittersweet smile that found its way onto his face. Trying not to wake you, he picked you up into his arms and laid you down on the bed. Once he saw that you were comfortable under the blankets, he went ahead and cleaned up any trace of what just occurred. The papers were put back on the desk, the food was brought back into the kitchen, and flashcards were shoved into his backpack. Liam was all but ready to leave when he saw the envelopes on your floor. Taking one last look between your sleeping figure and the letters, he scooped them up and snuck out of your house.

He knew it was wrong to take them, but seeing you that fragile flipped a switch in him. Burying these pent-up feelings had only caused you sadness and frustration. Maybe, if you didn't have to hide behind the secrecy of it all, a weight would be lifted off of your shoulders. Maybe, you could finally start to let people in, start tearing down your mile-high walls, and express your feelings without worrying about what people might say.

Only good things could come from people knowing the truth, right?

[kellinrk800]

toko fukawa comphet no i don’t take criticism

nobody will even see this because my account just. doesnt get traction but here have a ramble abt toko’s backstory and how much i firmly believe her attraction was comphet.

spoilers for thh, sdr2 and udg

tw// ab/se, n/glect, severe bullying

toko was severely neglected and unwanted when she was a child. she grew up with two mothers and one father due to both sleeping with the same man and neither wanting their child which caused her to be mistreated. once she was locked in a closet and forced to stay there for three days without food. clearly, she grew up in a household completely devoid of healthy love. genocide jack’s development was likely a response to cope with the traumatic experiences.

her time in elementary was no different. in third grade, she was used as a scapegoat for stolen money and her classmates tied her to the jungle gym with a garden hose as punishment.

her first real “love” was with a boy who she had been friends with since elementary but when she finally confessed through a letter, she found it pinned to the bulletin board to mock her. this was genocide jack’s first kill, leading me to believe that her murders were actually a form of protection.

on one occasion (and most likely more considering her difficult relationship with understanding rejection) she was ghosted halfway through on a date after spending three days and nights planning it so that she would not mess it up. she later found out that the boy only asked her out because he lost a bet.

the most likely only healthy representation of love she ever has was through media, which is arguably extremely heteronormativity and the actual healthiness of how relationships are presented in media is debatable.

she internalised all of these things happening to her and believed she deserved them somehow, building her inferiority complex. she began to assume that people only expected bad of her and self victimises herself almost on instinct despite her nature to express opinions without care for others most of the time. her self esteem is extremely low and she often worries about being considered an “old hag” in ultra despair girls.

toko fell in love with the idea of love, not an actual person. at some point she turned to novels and writing as a way to express her emotions and she used that passion to create works of art through her novels and created a toxic idolisation of the perfect relationship with nothing but media, her family’s relationships and her past experiences to go off.

she began to let herself get hurt and internalise it which ended up building her inferiority complex even further to the point of becoming unhealthily infatuated with anyone she saw fit as a stand in for the dreamy perfect people that made her books succeed.

time and time again genocide jack and toko were mistreated in their relationships, causing their system to suffer greatly. jack began to kill anyone toko saw fit as a perfect romantic interest to protect them both, but this most likely caused her own mental health to decline as well, leading to the aggressive, startling and manic personality we saw in the games.

toko began to both idolise and fear falling in love. while she knew they would most likely be killed and she would have to cope with knowing that the police could come knocking any day if they put the pieces together, she also still purposed her life around being in a perfect relationship because it was now causing her to gain traction through her novels.

this only furthered her unhealthy infatuation with relationships. she became determined to find a man who fit her description of the perfect man and would not mislead, use, mock or hurt toko in hopes that he would not be killed and she would finally achieve her dream.

enter byakuya togami. blonde, blue eyed, rich, cold and most importantly, entirely unattainable. he was an ideal stand in, especially considering the circumstances of the killing game (jack’s unique killing style would immediately be found out). she was able to fantasise from afar without ever really getting as severely hurt as she had in the past because he simply did not care to provide her his attention.

jack had two options. kill byakuya and get executed, or suck it up. clearly you can tell which option she chose. in addition, she had all of her memories from prior to the game which most likely slightly numbed her thirst for blood. by the end of ultra despair girls, she has grown a respect for toko, a softness for komaru and even calmed jack down to the point where it’s suggested that she no longer uses her skills to murder but instead fight despair.

in fact, near the end, toko is acutely aware of what is happening despite the fact jack was fronting (they don’t usually share memories, only emotions), suggesting they may have slightly integrated but i don’t really want to make assumptions considering i do not have did and am not educated enough to speak confidently about did.

ironically, the killing game was actually good for both of their mental health’s. i’ll only be talking about toko but in ultra despair girls she was emotionally stronger and more mature. she believed she finally had a purpose other than romance and that she could fight against all odds. she even credits makoto for her newfound courage. she criticises cowards and those that remind her of her past self. she is willing to challenge her fears.

komaru had an amazingly powerful and positive effect on them both. her softness, optimism and empathy help toko’s character develop even further. when komaru tries to give in to despair, toko encourages her to face her fears. toko, who was before extremely afraid and uncomfortable with being touched, is now willing to comfort and even hug komaru. she claims she’s finally found a true friend (that’s actually human, can’t forget kameko the stinkbug) and that she found hope in her.

komaru admires toko and doesnt really mind her split personality, instead just considering it “a bit strange”, which is a noticeable difference from how she was treated by everyone else for it. toko is protective of komaru during chapter two due to her suspicion of shirokuma. later, they even sleep in the same bed.

however, when toko risks komaru’s life for byakuya, they get into an argument in which toko accuses komaru of manipulating her with terms such as “friends”, which leads to komaru showing that she really does trust her.

later, this arguably resolved after servant forces jack and toko to fight against komaru for byakuya. they fight back against servant and komaru forgives her because they are friends, which makes toko extremely happy, so much that she blushed and admits she has never had a real friend before. she thanks komaru genuinely for the first time and they try to become real friends.

toko swears she will help komaru with anything she can’t do by herself, just like komaru would do for her.

toko even stays by her side to the point of rejecting the opportunity of going to future foundation to stay with komaru :)

in the end of danganronpa goodbye despair, which is set after ultra despair girls, kyoko reminds byakuya that someone is waiting for him and he jokes that she shouldn’t remind him of “something so horrifying”. and honestly i think the fact he was able to joke about it shows that perhaps toko and byakuya found a somewhat healthy relationship as friends, acquaintances, or even just bearing eachother’s presence.

a notable addition that didn’t really fit anywhere else is toko’s scrapped execution. “first kiss prank” is the title and it consists of byakuya running towards her before toko gets hit by a roller. that says enough about her biggest fears and how badly her past memories affected her.

in conclusion, toko fukawa’s obsession with byakuya was comphet due to pressure from the media and her toxic ideals. the fact she was able to form a healthy relationship with komaru is hhh and i could talk about them for hours. tokomaru is the second closest thing we have to inmedia stated canon (fuck kodaka’s statement me and the homies hate kodaka’s statement about naegiri /j)

sources: toko fukawa’s fandom wiki, genocide jack’s fandom wiki, free time events, transcripts

[robininthelabyrinth]

extra 1 for Tedious Joys, with thanks to all the suggestions from people engaged in the discussion on tumblr, your ideas were fantastic and I used all that I could fit in!

-

Before Lan Qiren left to attend the first discussion conference held after Nie Mingjue’s ascension to the position of Nie sect leader – a notion that still gave Lan Qiren a stomachache merely to think of it – Lao Nie made him promise three times over that he would keep an eye on his painfully earnest, straightforward eldest son and keep him from doing anything foolish.

“Of course I will,” Lan Qiren finally said, exasperated: any more nagging, and he was going to be late. When he’d thought to himself that he’d picked up a wife, he hadn’t really expected this part of it; if anything, he assumed he’d be the one doing the nagging. “You know perfectly well that he’s as dear to me as my nephews! I don’t know why you feel the need to even ask.”

“Your nephews have good self-control, a trait my Nie sect most definitively lacks,” Lao Nie said. “We’re all in agreement that it’s not yet time to challenge Hanhan. What if A-Jue forgets that and, I don’t know, punches him in the face?”

“He won’t,” Lan Qiren said. “He’s a good boy, your son; you’ve told him not to, so he won’t. Anyway, if it really comes to it, I won’t let him.”

Finally, Lao Nie let him leave, and Lan Qiren made his way to the Lotus Pier for the discussion conference. Nie Mingjue and his retinue had arrived shortly before he did, the circles under his eyes and the small signs of mourning he still wore making him look older than he ought to be; there was a scowl fixed on his face that did not disappear entirely even when he nodded to Lan Qiren, although it did soften a little.

Lan Qiren’s heart hurt for him. To manage an entire sect at fifteen – even with support, the pressures of it must be well-nigh unbearable, and it looked as though Nie Mingjue had started using his cultivation to get him through all the nights of missed sleep, as unwise as that approach was in the long term.

It was strange to go to the habitual meeting of the Great Sect leaders, the one they had with each other before they mixed with all the other sect leaders, and bow to Nie Mingjue as if to a peer, rather than to a junior.

Stranger still to see Wen Ruohan do the same, a mocking smile on his lips as he raised his head from the greeting.

“Sect Leader Nie,” he said, and there was almost some sense of satisfaction as he said the unfamiliar words – no one had had to use them when it was Lao Nie, of course. “I bid you welcome, as the newest member to the ranks of leadership among our Great Sects.”

Nie Mingjue did not respond with words the way he had when similar sentiments had been offered by others – no Please give me guidance here, though that was understandable given what the entire cultivation world knew he believed about Wen Ruohan – and contented himself by merely jerking his head again in a nod.

“Your father was a very involved member of our little group,” Wen Ruohan continued, and was he really going to offer Nie Mingjue his condolences for Lao Nie’s death? Propriety demanded he do so, but he’d never cared much for propriety, and given his actions it would be an offense to all sensibility. “One could hardly hope to match him in his passion and enthusiasm in all that he did. I look forward to seeing you...take his place.”

His eyes flickered over Nie Mingjue from head to toe, blatant in its unspoken unspeakable implication, even as Nie Mingjue’s eyes went round with disbelief.

A moment later, it ended up being Lan Qiren’s fist that found its way to Wen Ruohan’s face.

Luckily, Wen Ruohan found it funny - laughing at how he’d managed to break Lan sect discipline, rather than taking offense - and no war was started.

Whether that would last once Lan Qiren reported the substance of the conversation back to Lao Nie, however...

-

“You know,” Lan Qiren said, staring at the ceiling and wishing it would come down on top of him. “It’s very nice that you’re all such good friends.”

His nephews both bobbed their heads in a polite nod.

“I’m sure Mingjue and Huaisang greatly appreciate it.”

Another nod.

“However, they are now sect leader and sect heir, and we must treat them with the dignity that those positions require.”

A third nod. He was starting to wonder if they’d been replaced by dolls with loose necks.

“This is why they were assigned their very own rooms in our guest quarters, rather than spending their nights in yours.”

“Nie Huaisang will be lonely if he sleeps by himself,” Lan Wangji said, stubborn as ever. “My room is better.”

“Wangji. Yesterday, you chased Huaisang up two separate hills with your sword, sat on him, made him cry, and then wouldn’t let him up until he admitted you were superior in every respect.”

Lan Wangji smiled briefly, a rare and beautiful sight that warmed the heart. “Mm. Deserved it.”

Lan Qiren flailed a little. “Wangji, do you even like him?”

“No.”

“Then why do you care where he sleeps?”

“If he sleeps badly, he will do even worse than he already does,” Lan Wangji said. “Someone might make fun of him.”

“…and what happens then?”

“Bite.”

“Wangji! We’ve discussed this, no biting people. Not even if they’re making fun of your friend!”

Lan Wangji nodded in a way that suggested he was only being agreeable so that Lan Qiren stopped insisting on silly things like Nie Huaisang getting his own bedroom instead of sleeping on the spare bed in Lan Wangji’s and not actually agreeing in the slightest.

They were still working on the biting thing.

Giving up, Lan Qiren turned his gaze to his older nephew.

Lan Xichen squirmed. “…sometimes I go to stay in his rooms instead?”

“You’re not even planning on coming up with an excuse?”

“Lying is forbidden, uncle.”

Lan Qiren pinched the bridge of his nose.

-

“For this sort of thing, you go to your eldest uncle,” Lan Qiren said flatly, and after a moment of contemplation, Lan Wangji conceded that he had a point.

After all, Lao Nie had been married several times, presumably intentionally, whereas Lan Qiren had ended up with a wife through circumstance and luck.

Lao Nie was a very good wife, though, even if for some reason Lan Wangji was required to refer to him as eldest uncle rather than calling him aunt – though that was mostly his uncle’s preference. Lao Nie thought being called auntie was hilarious.

In retrospect, though, Lao Nie’s tendency to think things were hilarious was a lot less endearing when it was aimed at him.

“Just tell him you like him,” Lao Nie suggested, as if that wasn’t the most ridiculous Nie sect style advice possible. “Tell him you want to spend more time with him.”

Lan Wangji shook his head firmly.

“How is this Wei Wuxian supposed to figure it out, then?”

He wouldn’t. Obviously. The question was how to get rid of the feelings, not how to actually let Wei Wuxian know that they existed.

“I don’t know, I find sex works really well to deal with repressed emotions associated with pining.”

Lan Wangji wanted to die.

Or possibly find and bully Nie Huaisang the way he used to when he was a kid. Not that he would, of course, he was above that, and also Nie Huaisang was really good at getting revenge and he couldn’t risk that happening where Wei Wuxian might see.

“Sex is not a valid solution in all cases,” Lan Wangji’s uncle interjected.

“Ah, Qiren, Qiren. Are you still holding Hanhan against me?”

“Yes, I am. He tried to kill you.”

“So?” Lao Nie shrugged. “That describes basically everyone I ever slept with.”

“Have you ever considered that that may be part of your problem?”

“Don’t act like I’m the only one! Look at Wangji here; the first thing he noticed about this Wei Wuxian character was his excellent fighting skills – a moonlight duel on the rooftops, how romantic –”

“You don’t know what romance is –”

Lan Wangji was just going to go back to his unrequited pining.

It couldn’t be worse than having to listen to this argument again.

-

Lan Wangji was fighting frantically, but he already knew his sword would not be sufficient.

They were going to burn the library.

All those precious books..!

His uncle had already sent Lan Xichen away with the most important ones, but Lan Wangji didn’t want to lose any of them. These books had been his friends growing up, the source of his strength and the consolation in his loneliness – their pages bore silent witness to his childish tears, the imprints of his dirty fingerprints, the good times and the bad. There were books he had thumbed through a thousand times until he knew them down to the last idiosyncratic quiver in their calligraphy and books he had not yet acquainted himself with, had only seen on the shelves and thought one day. To lose them now, old friend and future friend alike, would be to break his heart.

There was a sound behind him and he spun, already tired, exhausted, and it was Wen Xu behind him, the leader of the invading Wen sect cultivators himself. He was smiling so cruelly, holding a fire talisman aloft like a flare, knowing that Lan Wangji wouldn’t make it in time to stop him –

A hand wrapped itself around Wen Xu’s wrist from behind, freezing the motion.

Freezing not just him, but all the Wen cultivators around him, each one of their faces twisting in horror as they realized that a cultivator dressed in astere mourning white that might be mistaken for the colors of the Lan sect had managed to get through their forces to stand at their master’s side, even if his hands were empty of any weapon.

Their horror quickly turned to agony, and then nothing at all, as the reconstituted Jiwei flew through the air, battering through their swords with overwhelming force and piercing their bodies, as vicious and free as if she were alive – there was nothing that quite compared to the Nie sect’s fierce sabers when unleashed at the beck and call of their masters, a weapon against which regular spiritual weapons had difficulty holding up.

With their bodies fell their fire talismans, their flares, and suddenly Lan Wangji felt hope thudding in his chest: one man could not change the tide of war, but he could change the course of a single battle, especially if he could convince Wen Xu to order a retreat.

If Wen Xu ordered a retreat now –

The library would survive.

“Tell Hanhan that Lao Nie said ‘hello’,” Lao Nie said in Wen Xu’s ear – his face was as pale as a ghost in the fire and moonlight, his lips red as blood and his smile full of viciousness like a slash across his face –and with a single twist he snapped the bone of Wen Xu’s wrist.

-

“It really isn’t me!” Wei Wuxian protested. “For one thing, didn’t the sightings of old Sect Leader Nie start before I took up demonic cultivation?”

“I don’t think it was you that did it,” Nie Mingjue said, not for the first time. His eyes kept flickering around the room as if seeking help, and his expression, to those that did not know him well, was stormy; Wei Wuxian saw this and clearly panicked, continuing to try to explain.

To those that did know Nie Mingjue well, it was immediately obvious that he was trying very hard not to laugh.

Lan Xichen sympathized.

It wasn’t Wei Wuxian’s fault that it served their purposes for the moment to have it be thought that Lao Nie was a spectre arisen from his grave in search of personal vengeance on Wen Ruohan – it was certainly causing Wen Ruohan no end of agony, judging by the way his strategy got a lot less rational and a lot more frenzied whenever Lao Nie put in an appearance – and if he was even slightly more discreet a personality, they would have simply brought him in on the secret already.

They were planning to – Lan Wangji had insisted, looking pained on his secret beloved’s behalf (secret in the sense that Wei Wuxian didn’t know about it, not secret in the sense that everyone else in their small family knew about it) – but they hadn’t had a chance. Lao Nie had insisted on being there to make things clear, since apparently he’d accidentally-on-purpose bumped into Wei Wuxian a few times in the Cloud Recesses while masquerading as a Lan sect elder so that he could evaluate his nephew-by-proxy’s crush, and he hadn’t yet arrived.

Which led to the current situation of Wei Wuxian being earnest and Nie Mingjue attempting to send mental smoke signals to Nie Huaisang in an effort to have the latter rescue him.

To no one’s surprise, Nie Huaisang was being no help at all.

In fact, his occasional well-timed sobs of “Wei-xiong! I thought we were friends! My father’s corpse! How could you?!” were in fact making things notably worse.

“I didn’t! I really didn’t!” Wei Wuxian yowled.

Lan Xichen was not going to laugh.

He wasn’t.

-

“And who’s to say the Yiling Patriarch won’t try to take charge of the Nie sect, too..?”

“Well, for one thing, I’m actually alive,” Lao Nie said loudly, and Lan Xichen flinched at first before relaxing. He’d forgotten, somehow, that Lao Nie had been the most shameless member of the last generation; it was no surprise that he, who could be as blunt as his son when he wanted to be, would address the whispered rumors drifting around them directly and without pretense. “Wei Wuxian may be a demonic cultivator who created a conscious fierce corpse, but no one has yet suggested with any plausibility that his abilities extend to living people who were just in hiding – which is a good thing, given how many people here would fall into that categorization.”

There was an awkward silence.

Sect Leader Jin coughed. “No one is suggesting that you’re Wei Wuxian’s puppet, Lao Nie,” he said, even though someone had very clearly been suggesting exactly that and if anyone believed that they had done so within Sect Leader Jin’s home without his knowledge then Lan Xichen was worried about what else they’d be willing to believe. “We’re merely expressing concern regarding his increasingly reckless actions – and on behalf of the Wen sect, no less! Especially with him having custody of such a powerful tool as the Tiger Seal, it is a little suspicious…”

“Wait, are you suggesting that you think Wei Wuxian has been possessed?” Lao Nie said. “By Hanhan? That’s ridiculous; they’re nothing alike. Wei Wuxian attended the hunt at Phoenix Mountain and didn’t hit on me once, there’s no way Hanhan is possessing him.”

Sect Leader Jin’s eye twitched.

Lan Xichen did not smile, but it was a challenge. Truly there was no one quite like Lao Nie when he was in full swing.

“Still, if people are having that sort of nonsense float around, I think it makes perfect sense for me to go check up on him to see how he’s doing,” Lao Nie continued. “I’m a respected member of the previous generation, and no one knows Hanhan better than me. Better still, I’ll take Qiren with me; we’ll make a holiday of it – it’s the least we deserve, really, now that we’re both retired sect leaders.”

“I suppose it would be more appropriate to send someone removed from active politics,” Lan Qiren said, voice a little toneless and neutral as always. “That would allow us to avoid any unfortunate implications that other sects were seeking to utilize the bad reputation of demonic cultivation to extract the Tiger Seal for their own purposes.”

Lan Xichen’s uncle was a renowned teacher, but equally well known for his inability to read the subtle nuances in social situations – no one else could have gotten away with just saying that when everyone was painfully aware that it was the subtext of Sect Leader Jin’s actions.

Though, actually, it was possible his uncle just hadn’t realized it was, in fact, meant to be subtext.

“I think that makes perfect sense,” Lan Xichen interjected before Sect Leader Jin – or Jin Guangyao, for that matter – could say anything. His sworn brother had never entirely forgiven Lao Nie for showing up at the last possible moment to murder Wen Ruohan personally before he could claim his head himself, even though the fame he had won for being their spy had still been sufficient to get him a spot in the Jin family, and as a result he was inclined to use his clever tongue to oppose Lao Nie just because he could. “Sect Leader Jiang, Wei Wuxian is a member of your sect, and therefore you have primary charge of him. Would you be willing to take Lao Nie and my uncle with you when you go to see him to act as impartial judges?”

“But I don’t want to be a third wheel on their old people sex honeymoon!” Jiang Cheng blurted out.

There was another moment of silence, and then Lao Nie burst out in howling laughter.

Nie Mingjue followed suit only an instant behind him, and of course once Nie Mingjue was laughing then there was no hope for Lan Xichen; he’d never been able to resist Nie Mingjue’s laughter, so rare after he’d become sect leader. Within moments, the tense atmosphere Sect Leader Jin had so carefully cultivated had been utterly shattered and the entire room was sobbing with hilarity, excluding only Lan Qiren who was scowling at all of them and Lan Wangji whose laughter was entirely in the way his eyes were crinkled in the corners.

“Sect Leader Jiang,” Lan Qiren said icily as his former student cowered in front of him. “I will have you know that Lao Nie and I are not in a sexual relationship –”  

“Wait, you’re not?” Sect Leader Jin blurted out, clearly despite himself, and that just set the whole room off again.

-

“Welcome to the Unclean Realm,” Lao Nie said.

“Since when do former sect leaders act to greet people at the door?” Wei Wuxian said, grinning at him: they had gotten on splendidly ever since the whole ‘did I resurrect you from the dead by accident’ question had resolved, and Lao Nie helping him out of the tough spot with the Wen sect by arranging his marriage to Lan Wangji had sealed his approval of him forever.

That was why he was arriving with the Lan sect delegation, after all, although Jiang Cheng had kicked his heels around at the entrance in order to ambush him – he wanted to ask some questions about Jiang Yanli’s upcoming wedding plans – and of course the Jin sect had gotten suspicious that they were up to something and waited as well so they were now coming in as one big group.

At least it gave Lan Xichen some time to chat with Jin Guangyao, who seemed much happier to be spending time away from the rest of his family; based on what he’d overheard of their conversation, they were scheming to get Nie Mingjue to relax a bit more and let his father temporarily take up sect leader duties again now that he and Lan Qiren were spending half the year at the Unclean Realm.  

“I’m on punishment duty,” Lao Nie said, looking delighted by it.

Which, hey, seemed weird, but based on everything Lan Wangji had told him about the former sect leader Nie (and his own mysterious ‘eldest uncle’, as he’d been known while he was at the Lan sect) and his former exploits, it seemed very in character for the man. And, well, Wei Wuxian wasn’t really in any position to throw stones…

“Eldest Uncle,” Lan Xichen said, looking over. “Did you do something to irritate Uncle again?”

“I didn’t! It was something different, actually, which I’m not at liberty to disclose to you.”

Oh, now Wei Wuxian was curious, and so was everyone else – Jiang Cheng sent him a ‘you don’t have shame, why don’t you ask’ sort of look at once – and since he did not, in fact, have shame, he asked, “Are you sure? What could it possibly be that you did?”

“Oh, Xiao Nie knows what he did,” an old woman in Nie sect colors said as she passed by. “And he’s going to stand there until he admits that he was wrong.”

“I’ll be here until I collapse,” Lao Nie explained proudly, but by that point everyone had stopped caring about whatever new thing he’d done in light of the newest twist.

“Did she just call you Xiao Nie?” Jiang Cheng said, sounding betrayed.

“…yes? She’s my great-grandaunt, she can call me anything she likes?”

“It’s just wrong,” Wei Wuxian agreed. “Isn’t it just wrong?”

“It is a bit wrong,” Jin Zixuan said, looking perturbed.

“Very wrong, even,” Lan Xichen said. “I didn’t know anyone did that.”

“No one does,” Lao Nie said. “Now stop gossiping and go inside already!”

“They say married couples start to act like each other,” Wei Wuxian said to Lan Wangji, who looked amused. “There really seems to be some truth to it – do you think he’ll start reciting Lan sect rules next? Ooh, or musical cultivation?”

Finding out that Lan Qiren was apparently the musical cultivation equivalent of a mad scientist in his spare time had been the happiest moment in Wei Wuxian’s life.

“Just wait until you see what Uncle is like when he’s drunk,” Lan Wangji said, and stop. What?

That was a thing?

Wei Wuxian had to make that happen right away.

[seavoice]

On YA fiction because I’ve been thinking about this: Does anyone have any recommendations for YA books set in non-American locations? Any genre really—fantasy, contemporary, anything. And preferably by non-American authors, but if you find it interestingly written, that’s fair game. Basically just a good book!

Because—and I’m sure this is mainly in part due to my lack of exposure to these books and authors—I’ve been thinking and I’m super interested in why YA fiction in particular lacks a diversity of location, so as to speak.

To take a trite example, that standard “set in high-school“ YA formula that critics disparage is very American, and it seems formulaic because of the sheer volume of young adult books set in American high-schools. We are overexposed to it. What would your standard high school YA book look like in Thailand? In Nigeria? In Bangladesh?

Young adult fiction in particular feels like an American genre because there’s such a standard “coming-of-age” story to tell. Familiar beats. People shake it up sometimes, but there is, understandably, a thread that binds together these stories. I don’t fault it at all, but it is so culture-specific, location-specific that I want to see what coming-of-age stories look in other places, other cultural atmospheres.

In my opinion, one of the most appealing facets of young adult fiction (especially) is how much of the story depends on finding your place in the world and reconciling yourself with the culture that you grow up in. Figuring yourself out.

And the protagonists are usually more bound by society than adult protagonists—culture and your immediate community is what shapes schools, parents, traditions, authority figures, all the main constraints and opposing forces in your typical YA read. How do those opposing forces that move the story operate in other societies? What is the shape of the story there, how does a protagonist conform in Bolivia? How does a protagonist break the mould in India?

What are the cultural beats you grow up and into? Out of?

There’s of course the tangible markers that specify both geographical and societal location—the proms, the late night car drives at sixteen, the high school dress code. What is the school event that provides plot-advancing drama if high schools in your country don‘t have prom? How do you get your characters around from point A to point B if there’s no culture of teenagers being allowed to drive before eighteen? What does high-school dress code matter when every single school in the city has a standard uniform?

There’s also the less tangible. What about the questions a teenager asks about the society around him, and how do their discussions differ from what we are used to reading in the “standard” YA fiction? What is protagonist‘s ideas about religion in a strictly religious country—is the protagonist a member of the majority religion? A persecuted religion? Is their family supportive? Is his family his main source of internal conflict? How does a teen navigate conversations of race or caste or gender or ethnicity in this country, what is the discourse around class struggle in an another? How is the conversation on the disability models moving along? What is the lgbt community like in this particular space? How do these questions and beliefs inform the protagonist‘s coming-of-age arc? How is a romance story told, a bullying story told, a cautionary tale told? What are the themes a fantasy novel prioritises in a traditionally polytheistic society, or in a formerly colonised country, what is the shape of a dystopian future of this particular regime, what makes a contemporary novel in this culture a comfort read?

The potential is pretty endless.

[hoebaring]

Open Books (13) | Kim Namjoon

An unpredicted switch of journals brings two strangers close. Strangers with similarly perturbing experiences, and beautifully healing souls. Abused, bullied, and traumatized, they help each other, and those around them break away from similar experiences, heal and grow gracefully. With thoughtful emotions, and ever growing minds, Y/n and Namjoon are delicate heroes.

They understand the best in each other, and the worst, like open books.

Tags/Warnings :- Child abuse, domestic violence, traumatized characters, bullying, self harm, mentions of toxic relationships, angst. I know it's dark but trust me it gets better! namjoonXreader, Namjoon and Y/n, A slow burn romance, fluff, strangers to friends, strangers to lovers, self love, healing, etc.

Cross posted on Wattpad

Written by Author G

Word count :- 649 Words

Masterlist    Previously    Next

~The Restaurant~

The rest of the street is empty, the only source of light is from the same place he was making his way towards, mind clouded. He couldn't think clearly. He had too much on his mind to even try to do so.

With all the assignments to submit, dances he has to perfect for the audition, worrying about his sister and mother, Namjoon was stressed out. It was all too much for him to handle and he was drowning in it.

He reaches the homely - looking restaurant and takes a seat. The place is almost vacant, the only people present being the staff, a few customers here and there, and a good looking, young man singing his heart out on the small, raised platform in the center of the restaurant.

His voice served as a beautiful background to the warm fire blazing slowly a few feet away from his table in the fireplace.

What am I even doing here? he sighs out loud and holds his head in his hands in a poor attempt to try and gather his thoughts.

"Excuse me" A voice interrupts him and he immediately jerks his head up to see the singer from earlier politely smiling at him.

"Hello. Would you like to have anything right now?" He asks Namjoon

"No. Not right now. Thankyou" Namjoon replies with a bow of his head and a slight smile.

"Wanna hear a joke?" He asks cheekily.

"Um. Ok" Namjoon was slightly taken aback with the sudden question.

"When does a joke become a dad joke?" He asks, a knowing smile present on his face.

"When it becomes apparent!" He continues and starts laughing a very joyful and animated laugh.

"That's a good one" Namjoon laughs, mood slightly better now.

"Finally! I've been noticing you for a while and it seemed like you were extremely stressed out. Hence the joke. Just wanted to lighten up your mood. Hope you didn't mind" he explains politely.

"Not at all. In fact, I needed it. Today's been a long day" he exclaims gratefully.

"Please, take a seat." Namjoon requests while gesturing towards the empty chair on the other side of the small table.

"I'm Kim Namjoon. What's your name?" he continues after the man sits down.

"Nice to meet you Namjoon. I'm Kim Seok-Jin" He says, while slightly bowing his head down in respect again.

"How old are you if you don't mind me asking?" he asks curiously.

"Well. I'm certainly not younger than you, but as you can see, I'm defintely not an old person" Jin replies with a laugh.

Almost immediately, Namjoon had grown fond of him.

If someone else, a stranger that is, responded with the same sentence, it would have sounded rude. Narcissistic even. But, he made it sound humbly playful. It was admirable, really.

"Dae." Namjoon laughs heartily, his witty answer lightening up his mood even more.

*******

Time flies by as the both of them spend time, Namjoon's mind far from all the worries that were eating him away.

"Thank you for your time" Namjoon says with a slight bow of his head.

"No problem. I had fun. It was nice meeting you Namjoon-ssi." Jin says while returning the respectful gesture.

For once, Namjoon goes to sleep peacefully, his usually burdening thoughts nowhere to be found.

Maybe that's what healthy self-confidence does to a person. It gives a person a naturally charming feel and makes the person feel reliable, to themselves, and to people around them.

And that was exactly what Namjoon wanted to be like...

[butterflyeffectiveless]

It's a shame Toffee never was a focus for the show the only story I've read that focuses on Toffee would be SVTFOE the thief and it's only in the second half. I wish Toffee was focused more on your drawings of him are amazing!

Hello anon, you're super welcomed here and thank you s m, thats so sweet of you and im glad my drawings are nice

Yeah.. I feel the same way. I suppose mostly because Im one of those people who weren't into the romance part of the show, so we kinda got the short end of the stick. Tbh I noticed it is very hard to make analysis of the show or show's characters because they,, feel inconsistent, or there are too many unsaid things there

In all honesty, I admire the creators' ideas and imagination, the ideas themselves, (The kingdom, the magic book of spells, the spells, the queens, the world, dimensions, creatures in charge of dimensions, Toffee as a whole) but the execution of said ideas left so many questions and led to some sense of dissatisfaction, at least to me

I get the show was trying to do the "we will leave for the fans to speculate on that part" thing, but nnng, that happened in major plot driven parts and I just wanted to learn more canon revelations rather than speculate. The show was focusing so much on the racism theme just to kinda brush off the idea at the end and kill the magical creatures and even left the deaths of monsters unresolved or never mentioned it, it gave a rather bitter aftertaste.. I feel like it would be better if the show focused only on one thing, i.e. teenage romance only in the show, and other aspects like monster opression, queens, in other sources or even in a Separate show with different mc maybe(?)

The fact that I didnt connect to the main character didnt help me either..For example, in season 1 I liked Star probably because in season 1 she was faced with her mistakes and wrongdoings and she learnt from them, but in next seasons she became always right and never wrong, even when she clearly did wrong things and mistreated others the show didnt even hint on how she was wrong, and I..didnt really like that. Even the main antagonist of the whole 2 seasons didnt get any information revealed about him, I understand the creator wanted him to serve as a bad guy who is mysterious but he serves as a ‘preparation’ for the next arc, but Toffee was around in the show and was the center of the show for so long the audience was bound to get attached to him

And even Toffee himself, was hinted to not be perfect, he was revealed to have fatal flaws (i.e. he’s extremely stubborn and prideful and he is so ready to spite mewmans he literally deludes himself into thinking HE is always right and he is the only one who knows everything, even if that leads to his fall. But the show didnt focus on that, it only made vague hints. I wish that part of him was explored further). I feel like because of that he felt more relatable to me than the main characters.. Its like when the show tries to make the mc likable and makes them perfect, whereas making the villain flawed but that leads to the audience to connect to the villain more. In a way Toffee feels more “human” to me, if that makes sense, which is ironic because he’s a monster. I also feel it is a shame Toffee wasnt focused on at all, because I have a strong feeling that he would make a lot of viewers feel seen and he would be relatable to some watchers if his character was expanded further, he’d be one of favorites in the show. But him being a ‘schrodinger’s cat’ of the show made him either a ‘sexy man’ or ‘disusting guy with nothing to sympathise with’ in the eyes of the audience. and that saddens me because I realize he HAS personality and relatable traits in canon, (he is literally a goldmine of great character potential and topics that can be discussed (generational trauma, pride, impostor syndrome, stubborness, pettiness, resentment, character growth from a teenager bully boy to a general to a historian)) he was just not focused on enough to let the viewers know of them.

 I cant bring myself to hate the show because I know  there are people who worked really hard on it, and put a lot of effort into it, so I cant hate it because of that. But no matter how much i try to like it , I return to that feel of confusion concerning plot and character arcs.. Its like my mind still makes me think the show is somehow still going on, even though it is clearly over, its just hard to accept it was concluded because of how many things were left uncovered

[kaisa-ryo]

Megumi Fushiguro NSFW Alphabet

Warning: English isn't my native language!

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

A = Aftercare (What he likes after sex)

Nothing can be better than looking at you, studying every part of your face up close. Watch how your eyelashes tremble, how your chest rises and falls, inhaling and exhaling air. So familiar, so lovable. What a beautiful and so necessary face at this moment. From time to time he wants to run his fingers over it, remember it, photograph it. I want to look at your face for a very, very long time. Then he drops those thoughts because he needs to focus on trying to sleep.

B = Body part (His favorite body part)

Lips.

God, he so enjoys watching you bite them, lick them, paint them with glitter. This is essentially a small insignificant part of the body, but so demanding for courting and kissing. Yes, kisses ... Megumi so wants to touch them and do it yourself: bite, lick, paint with glitter ... After all, they seem so soft and delicious.

C = Cum (Everything about sperm)

Into a condom. Even if it is not always convenient and completely satisfactory with an elastic band, Megumi still prefers to protect herself. In addition, it is useless to oppose this if you do not want problems in the future. But if you ever ask him to do it without a condom, he might even agree, though not right away. First, make sure that you really want it, since he was not ready to ever do this. So don't be surprised if he gets worried during the process.

D = Dirty secret

From time to time he thinks about how you will take full control over yourself. It makes him mentally convince himself what a lustful bitch you are for him. He understands how you revel in your own perfection, how this thin erotic veil allows you to devour him with your eyes, hypnotize. It almost makes you a god. But the deity should not so protrude his sexuality in front of his beloved. Therefore, if you do so, then in the morning Megumi will throw some reproach in your direction, but at the same time he himself will remain satisfied and completely satisfied.

E = Experience

There is. If in high school he was a cold-blooded bully with a good appearance, then it is possible that Megumi had favorites back then. Not to say that, under the influence of hormones, he wanted to fuck every girl, because on his mind he had only the goal of maintaining justice with vague and false concepts. Yet he tried it once. She was a girl with high status and good connections, which were beneficial for him to achieve his goal. Sex without commitment is not the best experience that can be obtained, because apart from the pleasure of the process, you do not feel attracted to your partner. But what you just do not go to achieve the goal, right? The guy did not particularly remember that incident, but a clear understanding of the foundations of the art of submission remained.

Now he doesn't want to remember school life, because both character and actions were not sugar at all. In addition, the intentions of what then and what from now are different, one should not exceed expectations. But speaking of being intimate with you, Fushiguro has acquired a real bond that makes intercourse more sensual.

F = Favorite position

A deck chair is a great option. It seems like an ordinary missionary, but both he and you have something to hold on to. And as a bonus, he sees your face, by which he can give an accurate analysis of how well you are now.

G = Goofy (Are you serious at this moment?)

Yes. Despite the main goal of getting pleasure, it is also important for him to control it. He is not afraid to death that everything will go downhill. It's just that perfect sex hasn't bothered anyone yet. In addition, it is not at all difficult for him to do as he wants. Therefore, he feels a great need for complete control over intercourse. If everything is done correctly, he feels proud of himself, which cannot but please him.

H = Hair (Is the hair ok?)

Hygiene is as important to him as every other aspect of his life, especially if it somehow, no matter how, concerns you. You never need to remind him of this, as he himself tries to take care of the intimate area as often as possible. Therefore, he is unlikely to have problems providing comfort for both of you.

I = Intimacy (Romance)

There is. These are mostly cute things that are usually not considered very important, but for you they are like a trophy. For example kisses on the forehead, crown of the head, knuckles of thin fingers, neck and shoulders. It is like a ritual dedicated to love for your beauty and uniqueness. Even if the process is not very sophisticated, you get pleasure every time. Towards the end, you realize that you have gained much more than the warmth from light, but sensitive touch.

J = Jack off (masturbation)

There is such a thing. And you don't have to be far away. If you have not done this for a long time, but for some reason he is afraid or does not want to offer you, then do not mind masturbating to one of your photos in the gallery.

K = Kink (Kinks and fetishes)

The guy is not indifferent to your body, no matter what shape it has. Feel his smell, touch, stroke, listen until all these tenderness reaches light bites, squeezes, licks ... He feels everything much more sophisticated than it seems. And nature is such that subconsciously very subtly feels desires. Even if they are not at all.

He likes it when you walk in sexy pajamas, stockings that accentuate the shape of your legs or open clothes, although he doesn't always approve of this, because he knows perfectly well that he is not the only one who likes your body.

I like to give you different jewelry because they look so perfect on you. It is not for nothing that people say: "It is not clothes that paint a person, but a person's clothes."

For Fushiguro, this is both the main aesthetics and a source of inexhaustible pleasure, which is noticeable with the naked eye.

L = Location (Favorite places to have sex)

Not a lover of variety, so the option with a bed is the most ideal for him. Moreover, the bed is large and soft, which allows you to do a lot without any discomfort. You often feel tired after sex (unless you're a sex addict), so in the case of a bed, you don't have to worry about passing out on the table or floor. Yes, with the bed, you are subject to almost all poses!

Fushiguro is also not cold to the sofa, which is not much different from the bed in terms of sex. On it he can relax while you ride it, clutching his shoulders or pants. The sofa is also a good control plane, which can be easily used if you understand that you need to get up. It's still convenient! Why do you even need a shower and a table?

M = Motivation

When you walk around the house in the open in only panties and a bra. He doesn't like it very much, but heck, he really doesn't want to admit that he is actually embarrassed and it still turns him on. And when he comes to pick you up from home to take you somewhere, and then finds you not ready, in only one underwear, he will be indignant at why you are still not dressed, then he will turn away, covering his face with his hand and making a slightly trembling exhale. At this time, you will notice how his cheeks and ears turn red and giggle softly, pulling on a T-shirt. Once you specifically asked him to fasten his bra, knowing that it will start. After all, in front of him, a close-up flaunts your completely naked back, which you can touch and stroke. It seems that another second and he will lose control of himself and go into a rage. Holding his breath, he will begin to gently stroke the delicate skin and excitedly run his fingers up and down the spine, feeling his legs trembling from the touch. You will have to bite your lips in order not to turn around, and all this time with concentration to look in the direction where your shadows are reflected in a black silhouette on the wall a few meters away.

Also no less exciting for him is your passion for something. If you diligently write an essay, essay, read interesting books, even just tap your nails on a hard surface - he will be immersed in your actions. After all, the main thing for him is not the process of action itself, but how you perform it. When Fushiguro sees you at work, he enjoys every second of what is happening.

N = No (Which won't do)

What he considers to be risk or abnormal.

Megumi is for healthy sex and will not settle for BDSM, role-playing or sadomasochistic procedures. Especially complete submission. It does not arouse and does not cause orgasm from the word at all. He believes that such an idiotic variety was invented by mentally ill people, after whom everything is repeated for the reason of "fashion", public manipulation and self-hypnosis. In addition, in order to decide on such an idea, you either need to be a crazy psychopath, or stop respecting yourself. At least Megumi thinks so and has no doubts about it.

O = Oral (Likes to receive or to give)

In this regard, Fushiguro tries to maintain balance.

Yes, he likes to hear your drawn-out muffled moans. I like how you all wriggle under it and beg you not to stop. I like the way you cum. But it is no less exciting to see how you walk with your thin fingers along the entire length of his penis, and then clasp your lips and swallow it as deeply as possible, periodically circling the head with your dexterous tongue. Therefore, he is not inclined to prioritize. He continues to give you pleasure simply because he thinks it is right, and when he himself wants to feel pleasure, you will guess it yourself by his eyes, facial expression and swaying his hips in time with your movements.

P = Pace

As a rule, Megumi tries to do it in full force. Physical strength is still a man's trump card in love, and should not be underestimated. But it needs to be properly stimulated. Energy should not be pushed to the limit. Fushiguro was used to stretching his orgasm, speeding up and then stopping for ten seconds. Then the surge of feelings becomes even stronger. Too much speed will immediately lead to overwork, and the orgasm becomes smooth and short. It's too predictable. Of course, the guy is not a fan of variety, but that does not mean that you absolutely cannot pamper yourself, right?

Q = Quickie

Average. The most common.

And what else do you need? High speed does not allow you to feel the process properly, and low speed dampens all excitement and quickly gets bored. Medium is perfect for both of you.

R = Risk (Ready to experiment)

Not ready.

You shouldn't force him to try new sensations. This will cause him discomfort or even anxiety, which will not lead to the best outcome. Once you talked to him about this, at the end he said that he didn’t like it and asked him not to bother with this topic anymore, since even the thought of it introduces him into slight stress. Not because of the experiments themselves, but the very fact of their fear. He is currently struggling with this because he wants to be completely perfect for you. However, it is unacceptable for him that it is easy for him to control the process, but it is so difficult to start experimenting in terms of sexual relations. He will definitely deal with it. Not right away, but it will cope.

S = Stamina (Stamina)

Pretty decent

Getting pleasure is enough for both of you, so you have the strength to wash in the shower, make tea, read a book and just lie around, warming your bodies with hugs. It even happens that there is enough strength to walk along the street, restoring not only physical balance, but also emotional one. Still, a walk in the fresh air with conversations on various topics does not let you forget that your love is real and is not a farce for sexual gratification.

T = Toys

It treats all their varieties badly.

Another trinket invented by the unbalanced and sexually addicted. You both have enough and an ordinary hookup without stupid "decorations".

* In fact, once the thought flew through his head about how you would react if he shoved a vibrator into your vagina as close to your clitoris as possible. And how he later, in all seriousness, assured himself that he would not offer you such a thing for anything. Recalls a magazine article about sexual fantasies among teenagers at thirteen. As a result, having mentally slapped myself in the face, I never thought about it again.

U = Unfair (Does he like to tease)

Yes!

He doesn't like to admit it, but oh my god, how your pleading and sobbing drives him crazy. At such moments, he seems to be in seventh heaven. He would like to listen to them, but then all the pleasure from the upcoming orgasm will disappear. He wants to satisfy his desire as soon as possible, but he really doesn’t want your sweet voice to stop at such seconds ... And when you finally finish, everything inside him contracts. Because now you shout his name instead of muffled moans. It feels like he is special to you. Yes, only he can make you make a mess in your body, which was just so obedient. Only with him can you finally plunge you into ecstasy.

V = Volume (How loud is it)

At first, he is silent, as if swallowed his tongue. But by the middle it already starts to grow. But if you only knew how uncontrollable he is in the end ... although, why am I crucifying here? Of course you know.

At this time, along with orgasm, he realizes how fucking he is. So inside him begins a feverish flow of internal current, and at the same time a fire flares up in his heart, turning into a high.

W = Wild card (Random headcanon)

When you first slept, the spontaneous thought came to you to look into his phone. Nothing criminal, you just wanted to make sure you were the first.

Waking up first and looking at the phone, which surprisingly had no password, you checked the list of contacts that were not embellished in some way, and in general there were not as many of them as you expected. But you, apparently, so much enjoyed digging into his personal life, feeling like a real Sherlock, that you decided to look at Google. There already began something from which you simply could not help but emit an unrestrained laugh: more than ten tabs related to sexual relations, the structure of the vagina, the consequences of the "first time", precautions for intercourse and a bunch of other things. You could hardly restrain your laughter so as not to wake up your loved one, who apparently became a real Alpha and a sex guru in just one evening.

It's been a long time since that moment, but you still haven't admitted to him that you then got into his phone.

X = X-ray (What's under the clothes)

14.5 cm during erection ± 1

Y = Yearning (How high is the sex drive)

Megumi cannot be called “lonely-touchy-with-a-broken-heart”, but “addict” is certainly not about him. This is an unexpected manifestation of desire when he himself begins to kiss your neck, in the hope of showing your initiative. Usually you make love at your request or at a noticeable hint. Fucking you in bed, he is not looking for any benefit for it and is not chasing cheap bonuses. He thinks that he is simply satisfying his sexual need, and does not go further so that you, too, do not get hung up on sex as an important part of your life.

4/10

Z = Zzz (How quickly falls asleep)

Quickly, if you are not trying to distract him with conversations (you are not always sure that you did everything right and completely satisfied him).

If you want to annoy him with requests, for example, if you are cold and you tell him about it, he will immediately cover you with a blanket. But you are more cunning and you do not need a blanket at all, but his strong arms.

— Mmm... and I wanted to warm myself in your arms...

Then Fushiguro will roll his eyes, sigh loudly and hug you from behind.

— I want you to kiss the top of my head! — you will rather smile when he reluctantly, but still will do it.

— Will you sing me a lullaby? - then the guy will understand that further you are just making fun of him.

— Maybe you still dance?

— What a good idea! Stand by that closet.

— Sleep, princess.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*

[cheri-translates]

Headcanon - let’s have a school romance

This work, 来场校园恋爱吧, was originally written by 君兮耶君兮 on Weibo, and she has given me permission to translate it!

[ VICTOR ] 

“Class President! Don’t mark my name down - I’m not late!” 

With the fastest speed you can manage, you bolt into the classroom. The moment you rush into your seat, the school bell signalling the start of class rings.

“Seven nineteen and fifty-eight seconds.” Victor tilts his head towards the watch strapped on his right wrist. “Four seconds later than yesterday.”

The intense exercise earlier leaves you taking in large breaths. Victor lets out a resigned sigh, then hands you the water bottle at the side of your bag.

Taking the bottle, you hurriedly down more than half of its contents before slowing down.

“In that case, I’ll sleep for one more second next time so I can make it to class just as the bell rings.” 

Taking the attendance record book from Victor and giving it a browse, you realise that your name isn’t in it.

“Victor, it’s really nice to be your girlfriend. I don’t have to worry about having my name taken down.”

“If you like it, I can write your name right now.” With a blank expression, he takes out a book and begins his morning reading.

“No no no, I don’t like it.” You shake your head as though its a rattle, fearing that your name would appear in that “honourable book”.

“Victor, your little sweetheart doesn’t have the strength to do the morning reading.” You plop onto the table weakly, sending signals to him with a wink.

He continues being immersed in that mandatory ancient poetry book, but his left hand reaches into the drawer, retrieving a lunchbox and handing it to you. Inside, there’s handmade Chinese dumplings.

“...”

Victor completely missed your point.

“I’ve already had breakfast.” You wink again, attempting to make him understand.

With a furrow of his brows, he finally channels a minute portion of his concentration off the book and onto you: “What do you want then?”

“I want... a kiss~”

“Dummy.”

[ GAVIN ]

“Gavin, why did you pick a fight with them?”

With an ache in your heart, you dip the cotton swab into hydrogen peroxide and disinfect his wound. He continues staring up at the sky, as though he can’t feel the stinging pain at all.

Gavin sits on the windowsill, catching a ginkgo leaf which drifts by. After ensuring that it’s clean, he inserts it into your hair.

Seeing that he isn’t responding, you raise your volume.

“Gavin, are you even listening to me!”

“I heard you.” His line of sight travels from outside the window to you. “They were bullying underclassmen.”

As expected. 

After helping others, your Gavin would always appear as though it wasn’t a big deal. He never tells anyone the reason why he gets embroiled into fights, and wounds of all sizes are always found on him. 

After a while, teachers and students assumed that he was nothing but a bad student - ignorant and incompetent, and only knowing how to stir up trouble.

But you know he isn’t like that.

“Gavin, have you ever thought about what you want to do in the future?”

Worried the application of medicine would hurt him, you find a conversation topic as a form of distraction.

“Police officer.”

Your hand pauses. It’s an answer you didn't expect, but a reasonable one. You continue.

“Why a police officer?”

“That way, I’ll be able to protect what I believe in, and protect... you.”

[ LUCIEN ]

“So not only did you not bring it, but you also didn’t do it?” Lucien carries a stack of workbooks, collecting them as he goes down the name list of students who have yet to submit theirs. When he sees his girlfriend’s name, an evident smile surfaces. 

“I’ll definitely submit it next Monday. Could the most handsome, best and smartest student let me off this time~” You end the sentence with an exaggerated curl of your voice, making you feel goosebumps all over.

You really shouldn’t have read those comics last night. Who knew they’d be so interesting that you’d almost forget to eat and sleep?

Lucien purses his lips and furrows his brows, pretending to be deeply troubled. “But this will make things difficult for me.”

“My dear classmate Lucien, could you kindly spare your adorable, beautiful girlfriend?” You blink at him, hoping your femininity can buy him over.

“If you simply use your words, there seems to be something missing.” He taps on the name list with his pen.

All right - looks like you’ll have to bribe him.

“One kiss?” You ask, testing the waters.

“I have to submit the name list to the teacher...”

You clench your teeth. “I’ll submit it to you over the weekend!”

“All right,” he crosses your name off the list neatly. Finding it slightly unpleasant, he erases your name completely and writes it in the list again.

“In order to prevent my adorable and beautiful girlfriend from forgetting again, get your workbook from home after school, and come to the library in the evening. I’ll watch you finish it.” 

Lucien smiles, his eyes crinkling as he pushes up the spectacles on his nose. “At the same time, you can return me the fifteen kisses you owe me from previous times.”

“...why do I feel like a fox which has been outsmarted by another fox?”

[ KIRO ]

“Kiro, are you sure we don’t need to hide properly? I felt like the Dean was looking at me weirdly, as though he’d send me to the office for a lecture in the next second.” You pull your hoodie over your head, covering most of your face.

“It’s all right Miss Chips. Don’t they always say that the most dangerous place is the safest? At night, the Dean usually goes to the artificial lake to catch couples. Intelligent people like us who take a stroll around the teaching building are not easy to get caught.” Kiro grips your hand tightly, assuring you with full confidence.

After hearing what he says, you loosen up slightly, hoping the Dean wouldn’t decide to patrol over at this area.

“Miss Chips, where should go this weekend? We’ve been to the amusement park, the aquarium, the zoo... why don’t we go to the Science Centre this time?” He suggests excitedly, his blue eyes slightly foggy under the moonlight.

“...all right.” You can’t bear to be a spoilsport considering how excited he looks, so you agree with a nod. As expected, his eyes crinkle. The flickering, scattered stars in the sky fall into his eyes, causing them to brim with gentleness.

“What are the two of you doing!” An enraged voice rouses the two of you from the warm ambience. Before you can react, you’re dragged along with Kiro as he breaks into a run.

“Miss Chips, run!” Kiro pulls you, sprinting into the forested area near the lake, hoping the Dean would shift his attention away from the both of you and to another couple.

“Kiro, I told you that the teaching building was too dangerous!” You gripe, running as fast as you can.

“Nothing will happen. When the Dean finds more targets in a while, he wouldn’t care about us.” Although he’s running furiously, he exudes a calm aura.

“Miss Chips, we’ll part ways in the forest later on, and we’ll meet in class~”

[ SHAW ]

Twice each week, the teacher in charge of the school orchestra would give you special piano lessons. Along with you, there’s also a senior from the music club.

So far, the most you’ve interacted with the senior has been a mere nod of the head. However, with the upcoming school celebration activity where the both of you would perform an ensemble, you gradually grow familiar with each other.

“It’s late. Want me to send you home?” The senior packs his violin, turning his head and looking at you with a gentle gaze.

“No need, my house is nearby.” You politely decline, signalling that you’re perfectly fine heading home by yourself.

After the senior leaves, you practise for another half an hour before shutting the lid of the piano and preparing to leave the music room.

“What’s your relationship with him?”

Right after stepping out of the music room, you find both of your hands clasped against the wall. Your instinctive reaction to such a fright is to shut your eyes. But after hearing the question, you flick open one eye to look at the other party. It’s the bass player one grade below you - Shaw.

“Are the two of you a couple?”

You catch a hint of nervousness in his sharp eyes.

“We’re not.” You can’t help but knit your brows together, feeling the pain in your back from the impact seep in.

The grip on your wrists loosens slightly, and he seems to release a sigh of relief. “That’s good.”

“Shaw, why haven’t you gone home yet? It’s late.” You rub your wrists, which have turned red.

“Nothing much. I just noticed that you haven’t left.” He picks up your bag, which had fallen to the ground earlier, and pats the dust off it. “Next time, stay away from that fellow.”

“Why?” You take your bag from him, walking out of the building together.

“Because you’re my girlfriend.”

“Hey, I haven’t even agreed-”

He interrupts before you finish.

“I’ve agreed, and that’s what matters. Let’s go - I’m sending you home.”

--

More translated and original works: here

-

[ Permission to translate ]

君兮耶君兮: You can - just note the source of the author

[redrascal1]

I’ve been on a number of fan forums over the years...but I’ve never seen any ‘relationship’ that has divided people’s opinions as much as ‘reylo’.

Some love it. Some hate it. But what really saddens me....are the reasons some people hate both it, and also Kylo Ren. And the fans of both.

People have ‘shipped’ for years, and frankly, I find it harmless. It’s fantasy, a source of escapism that can be invaluable in these troubling times. But the reylo fandom in particular has been singled out for contempt....and not just from ‘fan forums’, but by major articles written by ‘professionals’, such as the Mary Sue. I’ve posted links to the articles, so people can see for themselves.

There are two major complaints people have with ‘reylo’....one group finds it racist, the other finds it ‘toxic’.

Let’s look at both of them.

First of all, the ‘complaints of racism’. This boils down to Finn/Rey fans who desperately wanted a romance between the two.

That’s perfectly fine. We are allowed to ‘ship’ what we like. I shipped Lokane for years. I even ‘shipped’ Tony Stark/Loki! it’s harmless. People are entitled to ‘ship’ whomever they please. 

But...are they really being fair by accusing those who ship Rey/Kylo ...of being white supremacists?

I find this both unfair and frankly, worrying. Finn was originally meant to be a white character..Tom Hollander was in the running to play him, as I’ve pointed out here before. And he was meant to be a supporting character...NOT leading man. The ‘leading man’ was meant to be a woman - Rey. DLF wanted a female protagonist from the start. By giving the role of Finn to a black actor, but not giving him the leading role, was definitely not racism on DLF’s part. Remember, the PT and OT films had black actors...and Rogue 1 featured a cast who were mostly POC. 

People who ‘ship’ reylo do it because we saw a strong sexual chemistry between Rey and Kylo....not because we prefer the ‘white girl’ to be with a ‘white guy’. Heck, many of us are themselves POC. Finn and Rey, to me and other reylos, seemed more like  good pals, their chemistry that of a brother/sister. But, even though the ST has wrapped and no one ‘got’ Rey (apart from two ghosts and a droid) reylos are still being castigated. We got nothing at the end of TROS. The ‘kiss’ was a farce; Abrams, Daisy, and TROS novelist Rae Carson have insisted it was simply a sign of ‘gratitude’ from Rey. Our heroine never mourned Ben Solo, or even bothered to tell her friends what he’d done. Finn/Rey fans can always look forward to a possible TV series, live action or animated, or a comic book series. Daisy has said she’d return if ‘she could work with John and Oscar again’, so that isn’t an impossibility. For we reylos, and Ben Solo fans, the ending of the ST was not so much a slap in the face........but a debilitating blow.

Yet we are still accused of racism, of bullying John Boyega on SM, of ‘pushing him aside’ for Adam...and sadly, much of this is down to John Boyega claiming he was ‘hard done by’, plus ADF and Abrams announcing - after the sequels were wrapped, of course, that they too had wanted Finn/Rey and DLF had stopped them. They forget that Daisy herself stated post TFA  that Finn and Rey were ‘just good friends’.

They also conveniently forget that there was an inter racial relationship in the ST...Finn/Rose. Loan Tran was treated like dirt by Abrams and Boyega; I often wonder what this classy and dignified lady privately thinks of Boyega’s belly aching when she herself was so badly treated. Shame on them.

I wonder if there would have been as much of a furore over reylo if Tom Hollander had played Finn? I think we all know the answer.

And now...’reylo is toxic.’

Kylo Ren is an ‘abuser of women.’

Excuse me?

When did he ‘abuse’ Rey?

Oh, that’s right....he ‘abused and assaulted her’ when he tried to invade her mind.

But...Rey then invaded his mind - and did a lot more damage than he did.

Ah...but it’s allowable when it’s a woman. When John Crichton first met Aeryn Sun in Farscape, she beat the crap out of him. But hey - Aeryn’s female, so these two are allowed a sizzling enemies to lovers romance...because the woman’s on top, see? And, ‘big bad Kylo’ threw Rey against a tree.

Um...she was going to shoot him, after all.

And he should have allowed her too, because ‘she’s the good girl’.

Then he fought Finn and wounded him.

But...Finn was armed, wasn’t he?

Yes, but Kylo should have let him kill him, because Finn’s the ‘good guy’.

Rey beat Kylo and left him badly scarred. Even when she didn’t have to.

But... REY’S GOOD!

But that isn’t the Jedi way.

It doesn’t matter if it isn’t the Jedi way... REY’S GOOD.  AND SHE’S A GIRL!

Then the follow ups..what Kylo does to Rey:

Saves her from being killed by Snoke - he actually kills him for her

Fights back to back with her against his own people. 

Offers her a position as his queen.

But..but...he psychologically abused her by saying she was a ‘nobody’. 

He then said ‘not to me’, it was a pitiful attempt by a broken young man who himself had been abused for years to show how much he needed her ...more than she needed him.

BUT REY’S A GIRL! YOU CAN’T SAY THAT....TO A GIRL!!!

Sigh....

He told Luke he’d destroy her. But Luke saw straight through him. He was hurt, and felt betrayed and angry.

IT DOESN’T MATTER...HOW DARE HE SAY THAT TO A GIRL!!!!!

And finally...TROS. I think enough’s been said about that one.

In a nutshell, Rey also repeatedly attacked Kylo when he was unarmed, almost killed him twice...and before anyone says that he was attempting to run her down in his TIE, remember he could easily have shot her...and essentially abused him far more than he abused her. 

But she gets away with it BECAUSE SHE’S A GIRL!!!!

To finally sum up...those of us who loved reylo, Kylo and Ben were essentially destroyed by TROS, Abrams, Terrio and DLF themselves...while Finn fans, Rey fans and FinnRey shippers...got exactly what they wanted. But this isn’t enough for them. They continue to hassle us, condemn us, and jeer us ...when they won. 

My one comfort is 82% of the ‘general audience’ favoured Kylo over ALL of the others. So, apart from ‘professionally woke’ commentators and petulant forum members, we seem to be in the majority, even if we did lose.

Oh, and one more thing...those who accuse fictional reylo as ‘toxic’ while fiercely supporting JB’s ‘pipe’ comments disgust me.

Today’s society is a world filled with double standards and hypocrisy...and it’s now bled into popular entertainment. What a shame.

We aren’t allowed any form of escapism these days..without offending someone.

Long rant, sorry!:)