#the song has been stuck in my head non stop

[basement-buddy]

I’m not really feeling like myself today!

[jennicatzies]

The yapperrrrrr

[beneathstarryskies]

Word Count: 2,986

Summary: At his low point, Geto decided to take a change on striking up a conversation with someone at a cafe. This conversation drives him into finding a new purpose.

Warnings: smut, fem!reader, oral (f!recieving), unprotected sex, depression, AU!Geto (he doesn't become a genocidal maniac), pussy saves lives, also Nanami makes a brief appearance

A/N: Shout out to my babygirl @actuallysaiyan for helping me stay inspired to finish this ❤️

Exorcise. Consume. Repeat. Exorcise. Consume. Repeat. Exorcise. Consume. Repeat. Exorcise. Consume. Repeat. 

It’s a brutal, mind-numbing cycle Geto has been stuck in for so long he doesn’t know if he’s capable of doing anything else. No matter what kind of path he tries to imagine for his future, it also comes down to the same cycle. He doesn’t recognize himself anymore. He never sees Satoru or Shoko. He feels stuck. Like a caged animal being prodded with sticks and struck by stones. 

It’s like watching a car crash and being unable to look away. Or worse it was like hearing the gunshot and then seeing Riko fall to the ground. That feeling of utter helplessness has never left except now he’s the one holding the gun and he doesn’t know where he’s going to point it. 

“I’m fucking done,” he hears Kento Nanami’s voice. The utter disdain in his voice is what grabs Suguru’s attention. Nanami is carrying a duffel bag on his shoulders, and Suguru sees him in something aside from his uniform for the first time.

“Kento, what’s wrong?” Suguru asks, setting aside his soda to walk outside. When Kento turns to face him, there’s an anxious look in his eyes. His jaw is set tight. 

“What are we dying for, Suguru?” Nanami asks. “I mean seriously?” 

“To…protect…” Suguru winces at the lack of conviction in his words. 

“Yeah, exactly,” Nanami rolls his eyes. “I’m out of here. I want to fucking live, okay?” 

Live. 

What does a life without sorcery even look like? Nanami has always been a bright spark of intelligence, and he’d shyly told Suguru a few months back he’d been accepted into college. Suguru wonders if he’d ever be able to get into college, but somehow he doubts it. 

He watches the younger sorcerer get into the car and then leave. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever see Nanami again, and part of him hopes the answer is no. He wants Nanami to live as he said. 

Geto goes to grab his soda from where he left it, then he starts towards his dorm. He can’t stop thinking about what Nanami said. When he returns to his room, he changes clothes instead of moping around as he had planned. He puts on black pants and a sweater before going outside to get on his motorcycle. He rides into the city, not knowing exactly where he’s going until he ends up in front of a coffee shop. He doesn’t know why he stops here, but it’s better than wandering. 

He walks inside, and heads to the counter to order a coffee. He’s standing at the other end waiting for it to get done when he notices you. 

You’re sitting in a table by the window, scribbling away in your notebook. He can hear you humming softly, a song he vaguely recognizes. He’s never been one to approach strangers like this, but he likes the look of you. You’re pretty and you seem just unaffected. 

“Hi,” he says shyly as he approaches you with his coffee. “Can I sit?” 

“Oh, sure!” you smile softly and move your things. He’d expected you to look around at least to see if the other seats were taken before accepting him into your space, but you didn’t. “Nice bike,” you say sweetly. “I saw you pull up earlier.” 

“Ah, thanks. Sometimes I think it takes more work to keep her on the road than it’s worth.” 

“Everyone needs a pet project,” you shrug. 

Geto grins but hides it behind taking a sip of his coffee. You close your notebook and slide it into your bag. 

“I’m Geto Suguru,” he introduces himself. You smile and introduce yourself as well. He can’t remember the last time he spent more than five minutes in the company of a non-sorcerer. Ever since what happened at the temple…Seeing all those people cheer for Riko’s death…The thought of non-sorcerers made his stomach turn. 

“Do you go to the university?” you ask, and he realizes he has ventured close to the college. He wonders if it’s the same one Kento will be attending. 

“Me? No,” he chuckles. “You?” 

You nod, “Yeah, I’m actually between classes right now.” 

“What are you studying?” 

The second the question leaves his lips, a spark of excitement enters your eyes. You begin rambling animatedly about your studies, your future plans, and sharing pieces of knowledge you’ve picked up. His heart swells with affection as the way you smile when talking about it. Then, your smile fades into shyness and you look down at your coffee cup. 

There had been a time 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to go on like that,” you say shyly.

“No, please, don’t apologize,” he smiles. He wants to reach out to take your hand. Not just for your comfort but for his sanity, he wants to seek connection. His hand is already on the table, fingers stretching out in search of yours. He stops himself, but barely. He closes his fist and pulls his hand back. If you’d noticed, it didn’t dull the sparkle in your eyes. 

“I have to go to class, but would you like to exchange numbers?” you ask, and you’re already digging your notebook out of your bag again. 

“I’d like that,” Suguru grins as he watches you scribble your name and number. You pass it to him, and he feels a jolt of happiness when your fingers touch. It’s been so long since he felt someone’s touch. 

“Will you text me, for real?” you ask as you put your notebook away again. 

“I really will,” he smiles and carefully folds the paper.

Suguru returns to campus feeling something shift inside of him. He wants to live. 

Satoru is leaning against the wall beside the door to Suguru’s dorm. He’s looking at his phone, feeling so secure he doesn’t even look up to see who is approaching. 

“Where have you been?” Satoru asks. “I’ve been waiting forever.” 

“I went out on my bike,” Suguru opens the door. “Are you coming in?” 

“Yeah, duh,” Satoru follows him inside his dorm. It’s been ages since they hung out, but it’s never awkward between them. Still, Satoru notices something is different about Suguru. He seems relaxed. “So what have you been up to?” 

“Oh, you know, exorcise, consume, repeat…” Suguru wonders what will happen to the curses inside of him. When he leaves the jujutsu world, he guesses the curses will remain a part of him. 

“Nanami left,” Satoru says as he sits on the bed. 

“I know, I spoke with him.” 

“Too bad…I like Nanami,” Gojo pouts. 

“He hates you.” 

“No he doesn’t, he just pretends he does.” 

Suguru smirks, “Alright, Satoru.” Suguru leans against the wall, studying Satoru carefully before speaking again. This time he’s quieter, more serious. It’s a tone Satoru knows requires attention. “Have you ever though about leaving?” 

“Where would I go?” Satoru shrugs. 

“I suppose it’s different for you.”

Unlike most sorcerers, Satoru benefits greatly from being a sorcerer just by being who he is. He’s afforded almost any privilege imaginable. Suguru doubts Satoru would know how to function as a normal member of society. 

“Are you going to leave, Suguru?”

“I don’t know, Satoru.” 

**

You were shocked when Geto texted you. Part of you had figured he’d forget your shared moment in the coffee shop. You spend weeks chatting back and forth. You like him. He seems kind and intelligent in ways different from most of the people you meet. He hasn’t pushed for a date or in-person meeting again. He doesn’t ask for nudes or surprise you with a dick pic. You almost wonder if you’ve imagined him. 

Then, one night, after weeks of texting, he asks if you want to go out the coming weekend. You’re shocked, but thrilled, to receive the invitation. You agree to meet at a restaurant for dinner. 

For the next few days, Suguru focuses on settling into his new apartment so it’s not a mess on your date night. He doesn’t want to assume you’ll come back to his place, but his time as a sorcerer taught him to be prepared for any possibility. 

His preparation proves to be a good idea on the night of your date when he talks you into coming back to his place. It didn’t take much convincing on his part. You’ve been wanting to spend more time with him ever since you started texting. He holds your hand as he opens the door to let you inside. 

His heart is racing as he guides you to the couch and lets you settle in. You notice right away how sparse the decoration is. 

“Can I get you a drink?” he offers. Truth be told, lately, he’s been drinking more than he should to fight off the loneliness of living outside of a dorm for the first time in so long. 

“I’m okay,” you smile and pat the spot beside you on the couch. “Come here.” 

He feels nervous as he sits next to you. His hand wraps around yours and he squeezes gently. A smile crosses your face as you look up at him and say, “This has been a great date.” 

“I agree,” he blushes. “It’s been a while since I went on a date.”

Your eyes move down to his mouth. He sees your tongue dart along your bottom lip and he knows what you want. A pang of panic hits him. He has a fear of you being able to taste the disdainful curses on his tongue. You lean closer, your lips parting with anticipation. At the last moment, he turns his head away so you end up sloppily kissing his cheek. You’re mortified at the mistake, then your heart sinks into your chest when you realize he’d dodged your kiss on purpose. 

“I’m sorry if I overstepped,” you swallow hard, trying to clear the lump in your throat. 

He watches your face drop. The look of sadness in your eyes breaks his heart. He holds your hands and tries to think of a way to explain this to you. He doesn’t know how to explain the fear of you being disgusted by the taste of his lips. He kisses your knuckles. 

“I apologize,” he says softly. 

“Do you not want to kiss?” 

He blushes, “I do…But…” 

“You’re scared?” 

It’s a shot in the dark, but your aim is surprisingly good. Geto’s cheeks burn and he looks down at your intertwined hands. 

“I am terrified,” he admits. 

“We don’t have to,” you assure him. 

Your understanding only makes him want to kiss you more. He leans in. His lips are gentle and tentative as they press against yours. His fingers dig into the couch cushion in anticipation of that moment when you pull back to look at him with disgust when you taste the curses on his breath. He gasps in a mixture of shock and relief when instead deepens the kiss. In the split moment of openness offered by his gasp, your tongue slides into his mouth. His hand moves from the couch cushion to cup your cheek, and he moans as he eagerly drinks up your kiss. The sweetness of your mouth provides a temporary relief. He finds himself chasing your lips when you pull away, a shy smile tugging at the curve of your cheeks. 

“Was that scary?” you ask. 

“Not at all,” he groans and kisses you again. 

You tangle your hands in his long black hair. When you reach the roots, you tug gently. He moans against your mouth, shoving his tongue between your teeth to seek out your tongue with his. 

The thought crosses his mind that you must taste this good everywhere. He has to find out. He nuzzles against your neck and his tongue darts across your skin. His large hands eagerly knead at your hips. 

“S-suguru,” you whimper. 

He pulls back, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, no, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You seemed hesitant at first.” 

He pulls you closer by your hips, “I know, I’m sorry. I want to continue if you do.” 

You smile, “Yeah, I want to.” 

“Alright,” he blushes. He stands up and offers his hand for you. Then, he leads you to his room. He keeps it quite neat and minimalistic in his space. 

He closes the door before grabbing you again. His hands move over the soft material of your dress before carefully lifting it over your head. He takes a moment to admire your figure standing before him draped only on your bra and panties. His admiration is disrupted by the feeling of you tugging at his shirt. He smirks and lifts his arms. You have to stand on your tiptoes to lift the shirt off completely, then it joins the pile with your dress. 

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers before seizing your lips again. His hands move over your body in a greedy exploration before finding your bra clasp. He opens it with ease and his fingers are deft to guide the straps down your arms. 

“Am I going too fast?” he asks. 

“No, it’s good,” you kiss him sweetly. 

He carefully lays you down on the bed, his broad form hovering over you. You notice the scars littering his body, but he doesn’t give you much of a chance to look further before he lowers himself to your chest. His breath is warm on your skin, heated up further by the open-mouthed kisses left along the swell of your breasts. He feels your hands in his hair, tugging him towards your sensitive spots. He relinquishes his curious exploration in favor of learning which spots drive you crazy. 

“You’re perfect,” he whispers against your stomach. His teeth scrape against your abdomen before he spreads your thighs. Your panties cling to your wet folds. He pulls the flimsy garment off before kissing down your thigh. 

“You don’t have to,” you whisper, suddenly seeming so shy. 

“What?” he looks up at you. He furrows his brows when he realizes what you mean. “I want to, baby.” 

Want is a rather weak word. He needs to taste you. 

“Are you sure?” 

He kisses your mound, “I’m certain.” 

You nod shyly, and he is all too eager to bury his face between your thighs. His tongue laps at your slit, hungry grunts falling from him as he relishes the taste of your arousal. He doesn’t taste curses. He doesn’t taste anything but the musky sweetness of your cunt on his tongue. 

The pleasure rolls through your core in intense waves with every smooth lick and suckle. You tremble in an attempt to keep still as he teases out more and more sensations. His strong hands keep your thighs spread wide so he can fully focus his attention on the feast laid out before him. He stays buried between your thighs until he notices the tell-tale signs of you being close. Your tense thighs and needy whines tell him all he needs to know. He pulls away from your cunt just as you’re about to cum. 

“Fuck, look what you’ve done,” he groans as he sits up on his knees and cups the prominent bulge at the front of his pants. “You still wanna keep going?” 

“Yes,” you whine. 

He pushes his pants down past his ass before slotting himself between your legs. He reaches down to stroke his cock a few times, then drags the tip between your soaked folds. The head prods at your hole, and he begins pushing in carefully. He watches your face contort with pleasure as he fills you. Once he’s bottomed out, he brings himself lower so your chests are pressed together. You can almost feel his heart racing against your chest. 

“You feel so good,” he kisses your forehead and nose. 

His hips begin to rock at a slow, sensual pace. Your nails dig into his back as you lock your legs around his waist, moaning at the pace he’s keeping. Your kisses are sloppy, more tongue than lips. Your moans pass between your mouths like a breath. 

The lingering feeling of your earlier orgasm he’d deprived you off makes the perfect foundation for what’s to come. Already you can feel it, twisting in your core. His cock hits the sweet spot inside you with precision. 

“Suguru, I’m close,” you moan. 

“Good, baby. Cum on my cock.” 

With a few more deep thrusts, you’re crying out his name in unbridled pleasure. The way your walls clench around him as you cum is nearly enough to drive him over the edge.��

“Can I cum inside you, baby?” he asks, his voice husky. Without much thought you nod eagerly. 

He braces one hand against the pillow by your head, squeezing the material as he starts chasing his high. His pace is sloppier and quicker now. He bites his lip so hard it almost draws blood, then at the moment of climax his mouth parts in a silent cry. His cock throbs as he releases inside you. 

As you both come down, he nuzzles against you. You’re both panting to catch your breath. You caress his back until he lifts himself up again. He carefully pulls out of you and lays next to you on the bed. 

“Stay with me,” he murmurs as he gathers you up in his arms. 

[strniohoeee]

ok sorry !! it was so cute basically

everytime the triplets invite reader to sleepover she sleeps with nick but one night she can't sleep and is hungry so she goes to their kitchen and decides to bake some cookies and matt has always been up playing on his computer when he smells her baking so he goes to the kitchen and sees her smiling while decorating the sweets and he falls more in love watching her with chocolate and flour on her face and in her pjs, you continue the story

Moonlight

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Y/N can’t sleep and decides she could go for some cookies. But what happens when Matt meets her in the moonlight?🌕

Warnings⚠️: CUTE AS SHITTTT BYE😭😭 I loved writing this. I love writing cute imagines it’s my favorite🧡

Song for the imagine: You Really Got A Hold On Me- The Miracles

Don’t wanna kiss you, but I need to

My love is strong now

You really got a hold on me

You really got a hold on me

4 hours, 15 minutes and 23 seconds I have been up staring at Nick's ceiling. But who’s counting? Am I right? The thoughts running around in my head. I hated overthinking while laying in bed. It made me annoyed. I just wanted some shut eye

Other than overthinking the constant gurgle of my stomach also kept me up. I really should’ve ate dinner, but I stood up editing my YouTube video instead. I turned over and shut my eyes

My stomach immediately gurgled. My eyes shot open and I let out an annoyed huff of air. I removed the sheets from my body, and stood up

I slid on my slippers by the door and quietly walked out, gently shutting the door behind me. I walked down the mid floor, and all the lights were off and there was no sound. Perfect, everyone's asleep.

I turned the kitchen light on, but soon realized it was too bright. I quickly lit the 8 candles they had laying around their house, and shut the kitchen light off.

There was also the glow of a streetlight and the moon coming through the kitchen window, so it was the perfect amount of light.

I opened the fridge to see what I could find, but to my surprise they had eaten all my food I left. I hung my head and shook it, and then opened the freezer to see nothing as well. Jesus, how did they survive? Not a morsel of food in this kitchen.

Suddenly I remembered I got ingredients to make cookies for a challenge we were supposed to film, but never did.

I opened the top cabinet and grabbed the flour, sugar, chocolate chips, non-stick spray and vanilla extract and placed them on their kitchen counter.

I walked over to the fridge and grabbed the butter, milk and eggs also placing them on the counter.

Making chocolate chip cookies at 4am was not on my agenda, but I really needed something to eat, and it was nice to have some alone time baking.

I had mixed all the ingredients up, and preheated the oven. After rolling the cookies into small pieces I placed them on the tray and slid them in the oven. They needed about 20 minutes to cook.

While waiting I decided to clean up. I genuinely didn’t realize how messy it was to make things from scratch. There was flour and sugar and egg yolk everywhere. Not to mention I was covered in flour and melted chocolate chips that got stuck to me.

After cleaning up I sat at the dining table, and waited for the cookies to finish baking. Once they were done I took them out to cool down and placed them on the table. Getting excited at how perfect they looked.

I hadn’t realized Matt stopped in the kitchen till he cleared his throat.

“Hi Matt, I’m sorry did I wake you?” I said in a whisper

“Oh no. I was up playing video games, but I kept hearing noise out here I thought I was going crazy” he said shuffling over to the table and sitting across from me

“Sorry I was trying to be as quiet as possible” I said looking at him

“No that’s alright, what’s with the candles?” He said laughing a bit

“Well I didn’t want to wake anyone with the kitchen light, so I decided on candles” I said

“Ahh I see” he said nodding his head

“Want a cookie? I made them fresh. I was so hungry and couldn’t sleep, so I decided to bake” I said smiling at him

“I can tell” he said pointing at his face

I touched my face and felt the reminisce of flour on my cheeks, chin and nose

“Oh my god how embarrassing” I said wiping my face off

“Lets try your homemade cookies” he said reaching over and grabbing a cookie

Taking a bite and looking over at me nodding his head

“These are so fucking good” he said swallowing

“You think so?” I said smiling and leaning up getting excited

“Very good, you should bake more often” he replied

“Thanks Matt” I said smiling and tilting my head

“Want something to drink?” I asked scooting back from the chair

“Oh sure, but I can get it” he said getting ready to get up

“No, don't worry!” I said waving my hand at him

I opened the fridge, and saw they only had soda and water…..

“I guess no milk and cookies for you” I said looking over my shoulder

“That’s okay, I’ll take water” he said grabbing another cookie

I poured him some water and walked back over to him sliding the glass his way.

“Thank you” he said nodding his head at me

“Well I have to do these dishes now” I said

“I’ll help you” he replied

“Oh no don’t worry about it” I said

“It’s fine I don’t mind” he said scooting back from the table

I had washed the dishes as he stood next to me drying them. Occasionally engaging in conversations

“The full moon is so pretty” I said looking out the window above the sink

“It’s so pretty isn’t it” he said looking at me

“Very” I replied offering him a small smile

It got quiet as I continued to wash their dishes occasionally looking up at the moon.

“I wonder what it would be like out there” I said

“Out where?” Matt asked

“Out in space, and on the moon. I picture it would be freezing” I said

“I think it would be dark, cold and probably hard to breathe” he said laughing

“That’s true I suppose, I don’t know I just wonder what life would be like on another planet” I said to him

“You’re a interesting character” he said to me grabbing the cup from my hand

“We’re all a little strange…..I myself am strange and unusual” I said to him in a whisper

“Caramel” he said back

“What?” I said laughing a bit

“Your eyes remind me of caramel swirls when the light hits them. Makes me wonder what life looks like through them” he said back in a whisper looking at the moon

“And I’m the interesting character” I said bumping his shoulder with mine

“I was trying to level with you” he said smiling while looking down at the pan he was drying

“Your eyes remind me of the moon….cold, bright……invigorating” I said the last part in a whisper

Matt’s eyes slowly looked up before he turned and looked at me. Our eyes telling each other stories as they twinkled in the lighting

“You really got a hold on me” Matt said

I smiled at this, and pulled him in by his shirt. Crashing our lips together in a sweet and tender kiss like the ones you see in the movies.

We pulled away from one another looking into each other's eyes and smiling like children.

“You can quote my favorite song, and not expect me to fall even more in love with you” I replied handing him the last dish for him to dry

“You make me fall deeper everyday” he whispered as he finished drying the dish and placing it in the cabinet

I smiled at this, and we packed the rest of the cookies away.

I started blowing out the candles and he stopped me.

“Let’s take two to my room, so we can sit in the candle light” he said

“You’re such a romantic” I said giggling

“You bring it out of me” he replied blushing

I grabbed the last two candles and we headed to his room. Placing them both on his night stand while we laid in his bed

His left arm under my neck as I leaned back on him. Lifting my right hand to let the moonlight light up my skin. His hand came up to mine, interlocking them.

I looked over at him to see him already looking at me. We both leaned in and our lips connected yet again for another passionate kiss.

After pulling away we talked some more, and slowly the candle started to blow out as our eyes got heavy.

“Let’s blow the candles out and go to sleep” I said looking over at Matt

“Okay” he said pulling his arm from under me to lift his sheets down

When I turned over my eyes caught the names of the candle, and a smile grew on my face

The first candle read ‘Sweet Love’ and the second candle read ‘Under the Moonlight’…….what a scary coincidence

“Matt look at the candles” I said before blowing them out

He read them and his eyes lit up, and looked over at me

“We’re meant to be” he said blushing

“I guess we are” I giggled and blew the candles out

Matt pulled me in closer, and let sleep consume us.

He really had a hold on me……

The End

I hopeeee you guys enjoyed this especially for whoever requested this! I loveddddd writing this. It got me all sad and shit with my hopeless romantic self😭😭. Love yallll🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[desired-fantasy-writings]

hello! hey!

I was thinking if you could maybe write some headcanons or maybe some comforting/tender imagines for the defence mercs with an s/o with low self esteem? the choice is yours really, I don't mind either way

Defense Mercs with an S/O that has low self esteem

A/N: I love these silly goobers sm I absolutely loved working on this. The past couple months for me have been tough so this was just as comforting to me as I hope it shall be for you, my dear readers. <3

Also all nicknames used are exclusively meant to be gender neutral!

Requested by: Anon Warnings: Tiny bit of angst, self doubt. Readers Gender: Gender Neutral Fanfic Type: Headcanons Fanfic Genre: Comfort Word Count: 677

Tavish (Demoman) 

The most he’ll do to cheer up his S/O is by making them laugh, giving them love - doing his drunk shenanigans or whatever else to see them smiling again.

Is not sure how to be the greatest support for them, but he’ll try until something works! When it comes to his partner, he never wants to give up.

If his S/O’s into board games (or poker) related he's pulling the whole collection out. 

Gets into super deep, non-stop drunk ramblings about how wonderful his S/O is when they bring up how they've been feeling about themselves lately. Will go far and beyond to prove all their doubts wrong. 

“Duckie, what you are… no I- You're so… Don’t say that… rubbish… ever again. You hear me? You're so beautiful. I wish you could see what I see in ya.” Tavish drunkenly mumbles against his S/O’s lips, giving them sloppy loving kisses all over. 

The man's not a poet or much of a romantic gentleman, but god damn nothing will stop him from expressing his love for his S/O… even if it's not in the most pleasant way.

Misha (Heavy)

Misha is a special kind of man who knows how to use his strengths - in this case physically and mentally. Will hold his S/O close if they desire that type of physical comfort from him. If his S/O would rather talk about it instead he's a very good listener and emotionally more mature than most men. Thank his mother and sisters for that. Will not speak unless his S/O is done talking about whatever's going on.

As emotionally mature as he is and intelligent - he often has trouble figuring out the right words to say at the moment.

When his S/O explains further about how they feel about themselves, Misha scoffs, a displeased rumble coming from his chest.

“Vhat?-” Misha says, surprised. Nothing about what his S/O said was true. He shakes his head, obviously disapproving, bringing his S/O close to him “-Heavy thinks vhat you say is nonsense, my милый. You're vonderful! Don’t say such awful things about self.”

Dell (Engineer)

Dell's used to this sort of thing being the person that most of the team go to for advice. When it comes to his S/O it hurts him seeing them so down and talking so lowly about themselves. What they're simply saying is SO untrue. 

In this situation he’ll take both him and his S/O out to the camping spot near the base, just the two of you. He finds being stuck inside when feeling like that isn't good for his S/O and will make them go outside no matter how much they protest. 

Simple peace and quiet, getting away from their colleagues for the night is his way of relaxing and getting out of his head. He wants to share that with his S/O, too. 

Dell of course brings his guitar with him, playing sweet ol’ songs just for his S/O. Dell hasn’t forgotten about bringing his S/O their favourite snacks and blankets as they cuddle by the fire all night. Dell’s such a sweetie pie and would do anything to get his S/O out of the negative headspace.

“Darlin’, the nonsense you’re simply spewing is untrue. You’re an incredible individual that's been such an asset for this team.” Dell mumbles into his S/O’s hair, the scent of them further relaxing him. He snuggles into them closer, nuzzling his nose into their hair - leaving a kiss.

“Look… me and the fellas don’t say it enough, but you really are somethin’ special. We wouldn’t have won as many matches as we have without you-" Dell pulls away for a moment, grabbing his S/O’s face gently to look up at him, he smiles warmly staring into their eyes so full of love “-And… you simply have captured my heart like no one has darlin’. Remember that. I love you for you and always sweet pea.”

[snoopledrooplecheesedoodle]

For mermay: how about merman! Joseph where Y/N finds him on the beach at low tide and when he sees them he freaks out and tries to go NIGERUNDAYOOOO but he's on land and he's just flopping around 😂

Absolutely! That's hilarious, you didn't specify whether you wanted yandere or non-yandere, so I made it ambiguous. Enjoy my beautiful mermay enjoyer (you also can be handsome if you want cutie!)❤️

Beached

Joseph was often told that his attention seeking behavior would cause him trouble one day. His elders often scolded him for causing currents in the city, startling fish, and wandering too close to the surface. He'd always laugh at them and quip back something clever that made them angrier. Now he realized they might have been right.

It was a simple bet really; Cesear and he were swimming around causing mischief when the topic of the surface came up. "I bet they've got some pretty hot babes on the surface. Ones with two tails instead of one." Joseph sighed dreamily, causing Cesear to scoff. "The women of the land can't compete with the women of the sea." Typical Cesear, so close minded. A smirk appeared on Joseph's face as a "brilliant" idea came to mind. "Oh Cesear, I think that I can find someone more beautiful than all the merfolk in the sea just by the beach." Cesear's kelp green eyes narrowed. "Your next words are 'You bastardo Joseph, you've got yourself a deal!'" Cesear fell for Joseph's ploy. "You bastardo Joseph, you've got yourself a deal!" Joseph shit eating grin was met with shock and anger from the other merman. "You smug sea devil, get back here!" Joseph giggled to himself as he swam from his friend.

Things were going good for Joseph no merfolk noticed Joseph and Cesear sneak towards the surface. Cesear still kept his underwater, like the bloody coward he is. No matter all Joseph has got to do is scope out the land for some hot babes! Swimming closer and ducking his head underwater when he thought someone might be coming, he eagerly spied on the beach to find... NO ONE?! What gives? It was a beautiful morning, sun rising steadily into the sky water at low tide. Low tide... "OH NO!"

You had just woken up and stretched a bit, this was a great place to vacation during the summer. Beautiful town, friendly people, and the sea. White sand for miles around and clear blue ocean water. You love the Mediterranean! Donning a swim shirt and swim trunks and covering that with a light beach cover up, you slipped on your sandals. You rode your bike through the small town that was peacefully asleep, it was pretty early in the morning. Perfect time to have the beach all to yourself. You were ready for another day of tanning, relaxing, and summer fun. You hop off your bike and walk over to the beach humming a tune that was stuck in your head. (Fav song) gets better each time you hear it. Your peace was ruined by someone screaming, oh my god is that person okay? Running to the source of the noise you found a handsome man. He had a mop of wild brown hair and eyes the color of sea glass. He was tall, tan, and muscular and had no legs. Instead, there was a beautiful green fish tail. The man Stopped his loud yelling and violently slapping his tail to look at you. The merman precedes to flop even harder.

Joseph was stuck and while he was an intelligent bastard he also was a cocky one. He wasn't paying attention to the tides and now was flopping around like a fish out of water. Well, he was one but that was beside the point. "Cesear, move your big tail and help me!" The man was met with bubbles. Oh, so that's how that is, Cesear was laughing at his misfortunes. Fake friend! Joseph was too busy cursing the blond traitor that he didn't notice a pair of footsteps quickly approaching him. A light gasp caused his head to snap over to the creator of the noise. A person who was (short/medium/tall) and had (h/l) (h/c) hair and (e/c) eyes. They were wearing baggy cloth that hid their curves from his curious gaze. He found a two tail... a hot two tail! Crap a two tail! Joseph begins flopping harder than before he needed to get out of here. He heard the two tail speak in a language he could not understand as it franticly approached him. Hell no!

Wack! the powerful green tail smacked you straight in the gut, throwing you onto some sharp seashells thoroughly knocking the wind out of you. You were trying to help but this merman just gut punched you with his tail. He frantically made clicking and chattering noises to something in the water you could not see. Another merperson? That didn't matter right now, what did was getting the merman back into the ocean before other people came. The merman looked to be made of pure muscle so there was no picking him up and approaching him from behind would get you smacked again. Maybe you could get some water over to where you are. You crept around the merman and threw your hands up in a sign of nonaggression towards the frightened brunet. the ocean was further than you thought and you didn't have a bucket to pour water on him. Frustrated you sank your feet into the wet sand causing water to fill in the hole you made in the sand. Bingo!

Joseph was confused as to why the two tail was digging a hole at this time. Is that what two tails do when stressed? He'd have to ask Speedwagon but right now he continued to observe the two tail and keep them a tail length away. Continuing to watch he saw water slowly filling the hole they made as the dug up to where Joseph would be making some sloppy aqueduct. Who knew two tails could be smart? Joseph met the desperate (e/c) that held no malice towards him. He was good at reading people and knew the land dweller was no danger to him and was even trying to help. Joseph began slowly inching towards them and the small saltwater river they were making, their hands looked tired, but they didn't stop, even as sweat began to form on their brow. Joseph felt his heart began beating faster not out of fear but something else. They didn't have to help them and yet they were trying, more than some merfolk ever did for him.

You heard a squeak and a splash coming from behind you the merman enters the watery area you made for him and was pushing you with him towards the ocean. You both landed with a plop in the warm waters of the Mediterranean, salt stinging your eyes as you had not been prepared to go swimming right now. Surfacing you gasped for air as you searched for the merman, only to see the green merman circling you like a shark. Did you just put yourself in danger? Plop the merman's head surfaced from the water a cheeky grin on his face. Face only centimeters from your own, he looked like he was going to kiss you. You blushed as you found him handsome but wasn't expecting this, squeezing your eyes shut and turning you head away from him. Nothing. You opened your eyes to look at the merman who looked at you with lips puckered and squirted salt water into your face. Gross! The mermaid disappeared before you could even yell at him for not only scaring the crap out of you but getting salt water in your mouth. You couldn't help but laugh though as the merman was very playful and you didn't mind the water. That was until you saw your shoes floating away from you.

Joseph swam down to a smirking blond with a big goofy grin on his face. "Well Joseph, did you see a land babe?" Cesear mocked him but Joseph was in too good of a mood to pout. He was so close to you, he could have kissed you! However, kissing was sacred in mermaid culture only to be done with mates. He blushed at the thought of you being his mate. You could swim with him, he could introduce you to Cesear, and he could show you his home! His giddy thoughts were interrupted by the sour taste that came to his mouth when he thought of introducing you to Cesear or any other merfolk. He didn't want to do that, you were too precious for them. With that decided he planned hen he would meet his own little two leg again with Cesear chasing after him.

Sorry if it sucks, I kinda rushed towards the end because I didn't know if you wanted yandere or not, so this was more fluffy. Please feel free to request more this mermay.

[whiskeyghoul]

Green green dress || [Spencer Reid x F!Reader] Pt.1

A/N: watched tick tick boom again and this song has been stuck on repeat in my mind so please enjoy the ramblings of a woman possessed. 

Read pt.2 here

Tags: Established relationship, female reader, no y/n, fluff, mentions of smut? more like alluding to smut, BAU reader, tick tick boom reference. MDNI.

Wordcount: 1.4K

Your hands smoothed over the non existent wrinkles of your dress. Dark, emerald green and velvet. It hugged every curve of your body just right, complimenting your natural shape so well. Emily, JJ, and Penelope had convinced you to buy it on one of the few girls days you had together. One where dress shopping was necessary for your evening out in a bar. It had been a risky pick, different from your usual attire and the plunging neckline was something you hadn’t dared to wear before. It was just a bit too out there to be worn casually, so it had hung in your closet, waiting for the perfect opportunity to wear it.

What better opportunity than an end of year party at the Rossi house hold? Where the Christmas lights would still be up, creating the perfect ambiance with the soft music that carried throughout the house. The decadent food, expensive wine, and the perfect atmosphere. With Spencer as your date you were more than excited for the evening. 

You picked up the dark plum lipstick that sat on the vanity with your other makeup, applying a quick swipe to your lips and pressing them together. “Are you almost ready?” Spencer called from down the hall. You could hear his footsteps move closer to your shared bedroom in his apartment. He’d given you the space to get ready while he sat and read one of his many books. “Almost, love.” You called back, placing the lipstick back down and fussing with your hair a bit. Trying to get it to fall just right. Perfectly effortless wasn’t as effortless as you had hoped. The door creaked open, Spencer walking in and stopping in his tracks in the door opening. 

You turned your head, looking at Spencer who stood frozen in place, hands stilled as he had been fixing his tie. His eyes focussed on you, almost entranced as he took you in. “Spence?” You asked, wondering if you had perhaps gone too out there. Like you had overdressed for some reason. You didn’t think you had. Now, a bit unsure of yourself, you got out of your chair, walking a bit closer. “Wow…” Spencer breathed out. Relief washed over you. “You had me worried for a second.” You admitted, a nervous smile playing on your lips. “Worried? You look stunning. I think you literally took my breath away just now.” Spencer rambled as he finally found his voice again. Eyes lingering on your body, taking you in as you move closer to him. His hands reach out, pulling you towards him by the waist. “I thought I overdressed.” You added, hands landing on his chest and smoothing over his suit jacket until you laced your fingers behind his neck. The hairs in his nape brushing against your skin. 

Spencer seemed to think for a moment, “Maybe you did, I think we should just stay home. It would be embarrassing to outshine everyone.” He stated, pulling your body against his. Seemingly completely enthralled by your look. A small laugh escaped you. The underlying motive to his words was clear enough. He’d rather forgo the party if it meant he could be the one taking off your dress right now. “Oh no, I did not take all that time to get ready to not be seen.” You scolded gently, playfully even. “I see you.” Spencer quickly retorted. He leaned in, quickly capturing your lips with his own to stifle any protest you would throw at him. You melted into the kiss, tightening your hands to hold Spencer closer. His hands tightened in the fabric of your dress, causing it to rise slightly exposing more of your stockings. 

You pulled away slightly from the kiss, hands moving down to cover Spencer’s. “We’re going to be late.” You whispered, lips ghosting over his lips. He breathed out through his nose, his grip loosening on your dress. “Let's be late for once.” He whispered. His eyes were filled with lust as he looked at you. You trailed your right hand up his arm, to finally reach his face, gently swiping your thumb over his lips to remove the lipstick you had left behind. His lips parted slightly, almost involuntarily before he kissed the pad of your thumb. His eyes are big, looking at you pleadingly. “Please?” he said. It was hard to say no to him, especially when he sounded so sweet. You’d give him anything he wanted if you could.

“I’ll do anything you want when we come home. We can’t miss this one, everyone will be there.” You said, not wanting to give in to his every whim. It was going to be a special evening after all. You didn’t want to miss it. You didn’t want to miss Rossi’s cooking if you were really honest. “Anything?” Spencer raised his brows slightly, you knew there were millions of things running through his head at that moment. “Anything.” You repeated with a grin. He released your dress, seemingly content with your promise of anything he’d desire, just later in the evening.

You quickly leaned up, pecking his lips in a quick kiss. Leaving another dusting of plum lipstick on his lips. “Let’s go, before we’re too late.” you added, turning away from Spencer and leaving the bedroom. His footsteps followed you to the front door, where your heels had been parked and waiting for you. Quickly sliding them on with practiced ease. Spencer held out your coat, ready to slide it on for you like he often does. “I still think we should stay home.” Spencer commented as you moved your arms into the jacket sleeves. He pulled it over your shoulders as you laughed in response to his comment. “We’ll stay home all day tomorrow too. So please, let’s have this dinner.” You said as you took his hand, lacing your fingers together, leading him out the front door and to his car. 

Arriving at David’s house went smoothly, you were a bit later than you hoped and saw the multitude of cars already parked in the driveway to the house. Lights lined either way of the walkway up to the house where the deck was lit up with twice as many lights as usual. The smell of pork and greens wafted from the house signaling dinner was being made. You walked up with Spencer, his hand on the small of your back as he guided you to the front door. Before you could even knock the door swung open with David in the opening, welcoming and ushering you inside. “Sorry we’re late.” You apologized, it was only 10 minutes after the agreed upon time but you still felt slightly bad. “Don’t sweat it, I’m sure you had to take some time to get ready. Would you like something to drink?” David immediately offered, guiding you to the living room after you hung your coats away.

Spencer’s hand was back on your waist, holding you closer to him as you walked. It was different. Yes he was often quite touchy with you but this was an unusual amount of affection. The chatter from your colleagues came from the living room, the lights were dimmed to enhance the cozy atmosphere. The two of you entered the room, the warmth inside put a blush on your face. “Finally you’re here!” Penelope exclaimed from her spot next to Derek, getting up and pulling you in for a hug. “You say it like we made you wait an hour.” Spencer chuckled before greeting the others. “It felt like it.” Penelope chided before she finally let you go. “Look at you, in the dress and everything! Gorgeous!" She complimented and took a step back. “You too, Pen. Gorgeous like always.” you smiled as you looked at the quintessential Penelope outfit but dialed up to 11.

David handed you a glass of red wine while informing everyone of how long the wait would be for dinner to be served. Pulled along with Penelope she seated you between her and Emily. Spencer sitting next to Derek, just out of reach from where you’d rather have him. You caught his look at you, the way his eyes flicked down to your legs as you sat down, dress riding up ever so slightly.

For someone surrounded by profilers he really didn’t try to hide what he was thinking about.

End note: I am working on pt.2 and is already over the length of pt.1 and I haven't even gotten to the good part yet. send help.

[webslingingslasher]

After Trouble spent enough time in the frat house. Would the boys find themselves singing/humming some taylor swift songs?

Like one is singing bejewelled in the kitchen while making cheese toastie while the other is humming it while doing some push ups in the backyard…

YES.

now let's just say.... IF i was choosing pain, i'd say...

peter's slamming his fist so hard down on tarrents door even he's a little surprised it didn't break through. 'turn that fucking shit off!' it's been non stop, he's bit his tongue for three days but he can't handle it anymore.

it's a constant, bass boosted, reminder of you.

'what?' it's muffled under the beatdown and screeching chorus.

'and when i meet the band, they ask do you have a man? i can still say i don't, remember?'

it's his breaking straw, he doesn't need to be reminded of his situation by taylor swift of all fucking people. he wasn't a taylor swift fan to begin with, but you've ruined her forever for him. he can't think about her without thinking about you.

the door bends under the weight, 'i said turn it the fuck off!' it swings open, all peter can hear is unfiltered bejeweled, 'sapphire tears on my face, sadness beca...' tarrent's lowering the volume on his speaker, 'what?'

'turn it down.' peter has no fight left. tarrent is blind, 'ah, sorry. it's been stuck in my head, i think you have to blame your girl for...' a wince, he understands the hostility. 'fuck, sorry, man.'

peter almost says it's fine. but it's not. nothing's fine.

'no more taylor swift, alright?' peter corrects himself, he's not a total dick. 'above a level five.' tarrent raises it just a little when peter leaves, it's enough for him to catch the end.

'i can still make the whole place shimmer...'

yeah, he's sure you can. 

[vintagevict0ria]

𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞

“You brush past me in the hallway…”

chapter 1

pairing: Adam Driver x f!reader

content: n/a

a/n: omg i am soooooo excited for this you have no idea. Its been so long since i posted and this idea has been stuck in my drafts since july and since im back in my Adam driver era- id thought id finish this. This is mostly inspired by Taylor Swifts song "I can see you" and each chapter will be based on a lyric! So i am no expert on how film/actor/movie stuff works so bear with me. Hopeful as this goes on, it will get better. Im planning on finishing this by the new year (who knows if that will happen) but since im on break i should take advantage of my free time. Ok long story short I will be writing this shit non stop since im on a writing high so who knows if the next chapter will come out tommorow! Hope you enjoy! Notes are greatly appreciated!!

Y/n, a famous actress known for her beautiful face and captivating personality but also her incredible acting skills. You had been nominated for over 50 awards and won 5 oscars. It had been a while since you were on a set nor a movie. The last film was a roaring success and the critics were crazy about it! The media begged for another film starring Y/N Y/L/N.

The first thing you heard when you woke up was the sound of your phone ringing. Your agent- Carolina, was calling. You quickly answered- yawning and hoping she wouldn’t hear it. “Y/n! Great news!” You sighed, not really understanding what was happening. “You got the job!” The job? what is she talking about? “huh?” You rubbed your eyes, laying back down. “The movie!! Adam Driver is in it too! Oh my gosh i can hear them now! ‘Y/n y/l/n and Adam Driver are co-stars in the biggest hit of the year!” Once you heard his name, you sprung up “Wait what?” “Yeah! They want you here in LA by tomorrow morning. I’ve already booked you a flight to leave in..5 hours! Bye!” She hung up before you could say another word. You glanced over at the clock- 9:35. The flight was at 2:15 and it would take a while to pack and get ready. So, being the smart woman you are, you got up and started the day. Showering, packing, and of course- stopping to get starbucks.

Once you arrived in LA, you headed to the condo where you would be staying for a majority of filming. That morning you woke up and started getting ready for the day. Showering, and making a coffee before you headed out to the table read. You threw on a pair of leggings and a tshirt. It was late autumn so you took a jacket on the way out. At the studio you said hello to the crew and a huge thank you to the casting director. “Y/n!” It was Carolina- she ran up to you and embraced you in a tight hug. “How was the flight?” You smiled at the redhead girl “Great.” Carolina jumped up and down with excitement and handed you sheets of paper. On the cover was the name of the film, the name of the director-JJ Abrams- and your name. “Heres your script. You need to go ahead and head in there! Bye!” She walked away, the sound of her heals clicked across the floor. You quickly skimmed through the pages while walking and not paying attention. You soon enough ran into someone, your coffee spilling over you and the floor along with your script- which was on the floor…covered in coffee. “Oh gosh Im so sorry!” You apologized while picking up your script, wincing at the wet paper. “You might want to watch where you are going next time.” The voice was soft but stern. You looked up and realized it was Adam Driver.

He was wearing all black and his hair was messy. He glanced at you with a subtle stare. “Im so sorry!” You stood up, brushing yourself off. “No worries, happens to the best of us.” He rolled his shoulders back and popped his neck, closing his eyes. Damn he was attractive. ”You headed in?” You asked, trying to keep your composure together. Adam simply just nodded.

The first day of the read consisted of going over the aspects of the film and the time line of production. After the read through, filming would start, then the movie premiere would take place after filming and production in Hollywood, but that was a whiles away. When the read was over you walked out with another co star. Heading to your condo, you received a text from Carolina. "Girl, just talked to JJ and he just gave me word that there is a sex scene between you and Adam 😁" The stupid emoji at the end made you cringe. Carolina giving you this news shot your nerves through the roof. As if you weren't already nervous enough about working with Adam, having to film a intimate scene made it far worse. Kicking your shoes off and falling onto your bed, you opened instagram, an attempt to get your mind of the situation at hand, it didn't work.

[xxx-angie]

"dance with me"

radioapple alcohol, talk of cannibalism, biting, blood consumption, non-sexual make out

1110 words

@lucifersruberduck

alastor sits at the bar and pours himself another glass of rye.

it was angel’s birthday, and charlie insisted on throwing a party for him. it was starting to get a bit late into the night and the radio demon had been drinking all through it.

vaggie and charlie had just started a duet on the piano. alastor taps his foot along to the song, looking around the room. he sees lucifer, who leans against a wall with a cup of apple cider. he watches his daughter sing with a smile.

the deer demon downs the rest of the glass and gets up, heading to the demon king. “dance with me?” alastor holds out his hand for the short demon, who looks up at him with confusion.

“y-you’re asking me to dance? why?”

“it would be fun.” the radio demon shrugs.

the short male lets out a sigh and takes the other’s hand. he finds himself pulled into the sinner’s chest, an arm around his waist. he looks up at alastor, who has a big, genuine smile on his face.

the other demons look at the two in surprise, certainly not expecting alastor of all demons to dance with someone. and definitely not with lucifer.

the radio demon looks up as he realized the music is gone. “why did you stop? come on, i could dance all night long!” he laughs and twirls lucifer around.

charlie nods and smiles at the two as she gets over the shock, happy to see them getting along. she looks at vaggie and they nod at each other, continuing with the song.

“there we go.” he looks down at lucifer and continues to dance with him. “oh how i wish rosie were here. she would enjoy this so much.”

“rosie? is that your wife or something?” lucifer asks before alastor pulls him into a dip.

“my wife? oh no no no no.” he stands up and pulls the demon king back up. “i don't have a wife. but she is a very dear friend, very dear indeed.” he looks at charlie. “and she would love to see charlie like this, so happy with her girlfriend.” he manages to grab his glass of whiskey as they dance, quickly downing it before setting the cup back down. “but even if i was interested in her, i'm not her type anyway. she might be interested in you however.”

“and what would her type be?” the pale king asks as he presses into alastor, back to the overlord’s chest.

“tasty.” alastor replies simply.

“tasty?” lucifer repeats as he looks up at the other.

“though I must admit, her ability to pick them when we met was absolutely atrocious. but it has improved. our last meal together was quite splendid.” alastor gives a light-hearted chuckle.

“and how do you know i fit the definition of tasty?” the shorter looks up at him with a raised brow.

“you have angelic blood, correct? after the battle, rosie let me know that it has a spectacular taste.” he brings the demon king into another dip, one hand under him and the other holding his chin. lucifer’s own arms reach up to grab his waist in an attempt to steady himself. “though i do wish i had tasted it for myself…” alastor leans in close to the paper-pale skin of lucifer's neck and drags his tongue up the side of it.

the short demon takes a shaky breath, his neck feeling cold from the other’s saliva. “t-tell me more about rosie?”

“she knows a lot about the queer community. which was personally quite surprising. she is much older than me yet still knows tons of terms that were made nearly a hundred years after my death.” alastor says.

“like what?”

“i don't remember most, but asexual stuck with me.”

“oh? how so?”

“when i was alive, i never really questioned myself. assumed I would meet the right girl some day. i knew that being gay was a thing, but i never felt attracted to men, so i simply never considered it. I otherwise never thought about sex. but terms like asexual… i never heard it before, but if i had when i was alive, that'd be me. i must admit, i am quite glad there is an afterlife, where I can continue to get to know myself.”

lucifer can feel alastor starting to get a little clumsy and slow. “i never thought of it that way before…”

the sinner sighs and stops, leaning his head on the king's shoulder. “i’m getting tired… mind escorting me to my room?”

the pale demon sighs and wraps his arms tight around the overlord. he easily picks him up despite their size difference and with a kiss on the forehead for his daughter, he carries alastor to bed.

lucifer sets him down on the end. “you need to let go.” he tries to back up a bit instead the radio demon pulls the king onto his lap.

one hand is around his waist while the other tilts his head up. “i’m sorry, sir, but i am really curious as to what you taste like…” he breathes against the other's neck. “just a small bite? i’ll promise not to leave more than a scar~” he chuckles as he looks up at lucifer.

the pale demon is silent for a minute, the look on his face showing he was genuinely considering it. finally, he lets out a shaky “alright.”

alastor smirks as he presses his mouth to the king's neck, then digs his sharp teeth into the flesh. lucifer arches his back and grits his teeth, claws digging into alastor's back. “shit!” he can feel the sinner's tongue running over the bleeding bite mark.

then he drags his tongue over the bite mark with hands tightly holding him in place. he reconnects his mouth the wound one last time before sitting up, lucifer's golden blood dripping down from his lips.

he suddenly grabs the king by the hair and kisses him roughly. the demon king gasps at the sudden action and alastor uses this to slip his tongue into the other's mouth.

and fucking hell, lucifer can taste his own blood on alastor's tongue. he leans in and closes his eyes and stays like that until alastor pulls away. they both pant, a string of each other's saliva still connecting their lips.

“alright, i’ve had my fun. i’ll let you go now.” alastor smiles and leans back a bit.

the pale king nods and gets up, heading for the door.

“by the way…” alastor lays down and curls up on his bed. “you really are quite delicious.” he laughs.

oh this was so fun to write!!

[lovetaroandtaemin]

Roses

Xiao Dejun x Reader

Word Count: 7,100 Genre: Angst, Fluff, Non-idol AU Rating: Adult themes, MINORS DNI!

Summary: Dejun has an intense crush on Y/N, his best friend's girlfriend, but knows that he can never tell her. When Y/N and Kun get into an argument, however, and Dejun is the first person that Y/N calls for comfort, repressed feelings come to light. Will the relationship last, or will the wounds of the past drive a wedge between them?

Warnings: Incredibly toxic relationship, objectification, mentions of sex but no smut, technically cheating, making out, using sex as a coping mechanism, unhealthy coping mechanisms in general, panic attacks, you could probably describe the way Reader reacts to certain things as PTSD symptoms, angst with no happy ending. If you think I missed a warning, please let me know!

A/N: So this fic happened because I had Roses by Shawn Mendes and Roses by Jaehyun stuck in my head at the same time, and I wanted to see if I could write something that would connect the two songs into one story. I love both Shawn and Jaehyun's music, and I love writing fics inspired by songs, so this was a really fun challenge for me! I really hope y'all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.

Permanent taglist: @xomakara

Fic is under the cut.

Dejun knew that the way he felt about you could only end in heartbreak for him. Did that stop his crush on you, though? Absolutely not. Sure, you were his best friend’s girlfriend, and he knew that he probably would never be with you, but that didn’t change the fact that he thought about you all the time. He knew that you would never think about him the same way, though, so he was planning to take his feelings for you to his grave.

Keeping his crush on you a secret only got harder for Dejun, however, when Kun brought you to dinner with the rest of their friend group to celebrate Sicheng getting a promotion at work. Dejun knew that you would be there, of course, since everyone was bringing their partners, but knowing that he would see you never quite seemed to prepare him for how beautiful you were.

When Dejun saw you walk into the restaurant, he couldn’t help but stare. Your hair was done in an elegant updo, your makeup was simple but still looked amazing, and the bright blue dress you wore to match Kun’s tie showed your body off perfectly. You were beautiful, and Dejun could only hope that you knew it.

You were honestly dreading dinner with your boyfriend and his friends. Sure, you got along well with Kun’s friends, but your relationship with Kun wasn’t what it used to be. When you first started dating, he was such a gentleman. He treated you with nothing but respect and kindness, never let a day go by without telling you how beautiful he thought you were, and generally made you feel more loved than you ever had.

As your relationship went on, however, the way Kun treated you only got worse. For example, he didn’t even try to hold the door for you when you entered the restaurant for dinner, even though you weren’t far behind him. You also couldn’t remember the last time he’d said something nice about you that didn’t have anything to do with sex or your body, and you would have been lying to yourself if you said that it didn’t hurt to be treated like nothing more than an object.

When you greeted Kun’s friends, they all smiled and hugged you, and you felt a weight lift off of your shoulders. If you were being honest with yourself, part of the reason that you’d stayed with Kun for so long, even after your relationship seemed to go to shit, was how close you’d gotten to his friends. You were especially close to Yangyang and Dejun. In the years that you’d known them, they’d made it abundantly clear that you could talk to them anytime you were having a problem. Plus, their goofy songs and bad jokes never failed to make you smile.

You knew that it was wrong, especially because of how close he was to your boyfriend, but sometimes, you couldn’t help but think that Dejun was incredibly attractive, too. His smile gave you butterflies, and he was never anything but kind and respectful to you.

It was probably crazy for you to think this, but you were fairly sure that Dejun liked you too. Every time you talked to him, without fail, you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks. You also frequently caught him checking you out when he thought that you and Kun weren’t really paying attention, and he made a point to compliment you every time he saw you. For example, when he greeted you at dinner, he said, “You look great tonight, you know. The eyeshadow you’re wearing really makes your eye color pop.”

“Thank you, Dejun. It’s nice to have someone appreciate the effort I put into my appearance.” Kun gave you a dirty look when you said that, but you pretended not to notice. You loved your boyfriend, sure, but it was also nice to have someone notice you beyond your sex appeal.

Maybe he was going crazy, but Dejun was certain that he saw you blush when he complimented your makeup. Was it possible that you were into him? For a long time, he’d been fairly certain that you weren’t, especially when he considered the fact that you were dating Kun. When he saw the look in your eyes and the blush on your cheeks, however, it made him wonder. If you really did like him, maybe that meant he didn’t have to keep hiding how he felt about you.

Throughout dinner, although he was there to celebrate with Sicheng, Dejun consistently found himself getting distracted by you. He did a decent job maintaining conversations with his friends, of course, but he ended up not-so-discreetly staring at you every time someone wasn’t addressing him directly. He could only hope that Kun didn’t notice.

Kun definitely noticed the way Dejun was looking at you. That much was clear from the way he gripped your arm tighter and made small comments about you being “his girl” more frequently than he typically would when you two went out. You wanted to reassure him that everyone at the table knew that you were his girl, but you knew that nothing you could say would get him to calm down.

Conflicts like the one you knew you would have to deal with when you went home happened a lot when you and Kun went out with his friends. He would be absolutely certain one of his friends liked you, you’d try to reassure him, it wouldn’t work, and you would have sex as soon as you got home so that he could “remind you who you belong to.” The constant arguing was tiring, but the sex was always incredible when Kun was angry, if you were being honest. So, you didn’t really mind the stress in the end, even though you probably should have.

Dinner ended with a toast to Sicheng’s new job. You tried to distract yourself with the celebration of a new chapter in your friend’s life, but you couldn’t think about anything but Kun’s hand, which had moved from your arm to your thigh. Every time he saw Dejun look at you, Kun gripped your leg tighter. By the time you were both ready to leave, he was gripping you so tightly that you were in pain, and not the good kind.

Kun let go of you when everyone got up from the table, and like an idiot, you thought that everything would be ok. The thought was immediately replaced with concerns for how the rest of your night would go, however, when he grabbed your hand instead, with the exact same tight grip that he’d had when he had his hand on your thigh. You tried to turn away from him to say goodbye to your mutual friends, but before you could, you were being dragged out of the restaurant by your boyfriend.

Dejun saw the way that Kun treated you throughout dinner, and his blood boiled. He knew that his friend had a jealous streak, as indicated by the fact that he pretty much exclusively referred to you as his girl when the entire friend group got together, but the look on your face as you left the restaurant made Dejun want nothing more than to give Kun a piece of his mind and show you that you deserved better. This wasn’t the time for that, though. He didn’t want to even try unless he knew for sure that you felt the same way he did, since the thought of making you even slightly uncomfortable made him feel awful.

When you got home, the argument didn’t start right away like you expected. Instead, Kun made simple small talk with you by asking, “So, how was your food?”

“It was good. What I ended up ordering was different from what I usually get, but I still liked it a lot. How was your food, honey?”

Kun softened when he heard the sweet nickname leave your mouth. He loved when you called him “honey,” and you knew it. A soft smile appeared on his face, and he said, “Same as always.”

“I guess that means you enjoyed it?”

“Yeah, I did.”

“Are you ok, honey?”

“I’m ok, sweetheart. Just thinking about some stuff.”

“What is it?”

“Did you see the way that Dejun was looking at you tonight?”

“No. I wasn’t paying attention, really. Why do you ask?”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I just wish he understood that you’re mine,” Kun said, venom dripping from every word. Unsure of what to say, you just stayed silent. He didn’t like that however, so he asked, “Are you seriously not going to say anything?”

“What am I supposed to say? We’ve already had this exact argument a thousand times, and no matter what I say, it doesn’t change.”

“Maybe you could apologize for making me look like a fool in front of all of my friends?”

“When did I make you look like a fool?”

“Thank you, Dejun. It’s nice to have someone appreciate the effort I put into my appearance,” Kun repeated, mocking what you’d said at dinner.

“I wouldn’t have said it if you actually liked me beyond wanting to fuck me!”

“You have to know that isn’t true.”

“Well, I fucking don’t, Kun.”

The argument continued for what felt like hours before Kun thought it would be a good idea to grab your ass and try to pull you into a kiss. You pushed him away, though, still far too angry for intimacy. A small part of you felt guilty afterward because of the hurt look on his face, but a larger part of you was too exhausted by the constant fighting to care anymore.

Kun started to speak after you pushed him away, but before he got the words out, you stopped him and said, “Go home. I’m not doing this anymore tonight.” After that, he left your apartment without a word.

Once Kun was out of your apartment, the first thing that you did was call Dejun. He answered immediately, asking, “Are you ok?”

You tried to hide the storm brewing inside of you, but your voice broke when you said, “Yeah, I’m fine. Are you busy?”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s a lot. Can you just come over?”

“Yeah, of course. Isn’t Kun there, though?”

You started to cry harder at the mention of your boyfriend, and Dejun cursed himself for asking about Kun. Once you regained your composure, though, you said, “No. He just left.”

“Ok. Well, I’m on my way.”

“Thank you.”

The moment Dejun hung up the phone, he got ready to leave. He probably broke several traffic laws to get to your apartment, but he really didn’t care about that. All he cared about was being there for you when you clearly needed someone in your corner. As he drove, a small part of him wondered what had happened that upset you so much. He figured that something had happened with Kun, given how much you cried at just the mention of your boyfriend’s name, but he didn’t know more than that. He did know that asking was a bad idea, though.

When Dejun got to your apartment, he softly knocked on your door. There was a moment of silence while he waited for you to answer, and during that time, he started to wonder about what could have happened and whether you were ok. He didn’t have a whole lot of time to think about it, however, because you answered the door pretty quickly.

When you opened the door and saw Dejun, you couldn’t help but smile. He really dropped everything in the middle of the night so that he could spend time with you while you were hurting. Your own boyfriend never even did that for you. The thought stung a little bit, and you couldn’t help but wonder if you were really willing to keep putting up with the way that Kun had treated you for so long. Leaving him wasn’t exactly ideal, but to be fair, neither was being treated more like a trophy than a girlfriend.

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Dejun asking, “(Y/N)? Are you ok?”

“I’m ok, Dejun. Thank you for coming over so quickly,” you said as you moved out of the way to let him into your apartment.

“It’s no problem, really. I’m happy to be there for you however you need me to be,” he said, pulling you into a tight hug. You immediately melted into his arms, relieved to just be held.

Both of you were quiet for a few minutes as you each relaxed into the other’s embrace. You were the first one to break the comfortable silence that had formed, asking, “So, do you wanna watch a movie?”

“That sounds great. Anything specific that you had in mind?”

“I don’t really know. I was thinking that we could just look for something on Netflix?”

“That works for me,” Dejun replied with a smile.

The two of you spent what felt like an eternity searching for a movie to watch. In the end, you settled on a rom com that neither of you had ever heard of before. The synopsis that Netflix showed for the movie sounded compelling, though, so you and Dejun both figured it couldn’t be too boring.

Oh, how wrong you both were. The story was bland, the acting was terrible, and neither of you cared to continue watching it. The only enjoyable thing about watching the movie was the fact that you were watching it with Dejun. For the entirety of the awful movie, he held you close, and the two of you took turns making snarky comments about the film.

“Oh my god, why are you doing this to yourself, you dumb bitch!” you yelled at the screen as the female lead took her toxic ex back once again.

“People do crazy things for love,” Dejun said with a laugh.

“There’s a difference between crazy and stupid, though!”

“I guess you’re right,” Dejun replied, thinking about how good it felt to hold you close and how you seemed just as content as he was.

With the main couple being reunited for the third time, the worst movie you’d seen in a long time was finally over. You didn’t want your time with Dejun to end with the movie, however, so you asked, “Do you want to listen to music and talk for a bit?”

“I’d love to,” Dejun answered.

You put on a random playlist from your Spotify library, and once again, a comfortable silence settled over you as you got lost in thoughts of Dejun. You knew that it was wrong, but you found yourself far more attracted to him than you ever were to your boyfriend. Sure, you loved Kun, at least you thought you did, but Dejun made you feel like he loved you in a way that Kun didn’t even try to anymore.

You snapped out of your thoughts when Dejun asked, “Are you feeling better?”

With a soft smile, you replied, “Yes. I am. Thank you.”

With confirmation that you were in fact ok, Dejun decided that now was the time to tell you how he really felt. With a deep breath to calm his anxiety, he asked, “Would it be ok to ask something a bit personal?”

“Yeah, of course. Is everything ok?” you asked, wondering what was going on.

“Are you happy with him?”

There was a deafening silence after Dejun asked the one question that you did not want to answer in that moment. Truthfully, you weren’t. You hadn’t been for a long time, and you knew that the only way to be happier was to leave Kun. The idea of having to start over after four and a half years was incredibly daunting, however. That was a big part of the reason that you stayed with him despite how badly you wanted to leave.

You opened your mouth to answer Dejun’s question, but when you tried to speak, you started to cry instead. When he heard you cry, he immediately regretted asking. In a panic, he said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have-”

“I’m really not. I haven’t been for a long time.”

“Talk to me.”

That was when you decided to tell him the truth. The whole truth. You started with why you’d asked him to come over, explaining, “We got in another argument.”

“What do you mean, ‘another?’” Dejun asked.

“Every time we go out with you and the rest of our friends, Kun leaves absolutely certain that one of you is attracted to me. No matter how many times I reassure him, he insists that it’s true.”

Dejun was shocked by your admission. Sure, he’d figured that you and Kun had a fight, and he saw the way that Kun treated you at dinner, but he had no idea just how unhealthy your relationship had gotten. He also had no idea what to say to comfort you, so he just hugged you as you started to cry.

You told Dejun everything as you cried, from what Kun had said about your comment at dinner to the way your arguments typically ended. Dejun was horrified, to say the least. He’d known Kun for most of his life, and he never thought that the man he called his best friend would be capable of treating someone he claimed to love the way he’d treated you.

When Dejun was certain that you were done explaining, he looked at you with a few stray tears in his eyes and said, “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong, though.”

“But you guys got into an argument because of the way I treated you at dinner.”

“Junnie, I promise you that it’s not your fault. If it hadn’t been you, it would’ve been someone else.”

“But this time it wasn’t just his jealousy talking,” Dejun whispered.

You were silent for a moment before you asked, “What do you mean?”

“Do you want the truth?” he asked. You nodded, and he continued, “I’ve liked you for a long time. I never said anything because I thought you were happy with Kun, but now that I know how he treats you, I can’t keep quiet anymore. I know that I could make you happier if you gave me a chance.”

You would have been lying if you’d said that you were surprised by Dejun’s confession. Sure, the timing caught you by surprise, but you’d had a feeling that he liked you for a while. Still, his confession gave you a lot to think about. Were you ready to finally end your relationship with Kun?

In the end, you decided that you were. You were tired of being treated the way you were, and you desperately wanted to be with someone that you knew would treat you with more respect than Kun did. In a moment that you hoped you wouldn’t regret; you wrapped your arms around Dejun’s neck and kissed him.

Dejun was definitely taken by surprise, to say the least, but he wasn’t exactly disappointed that you kissed him, either. After all, he’d liked you for a long time. Finally having confirmation that you liked him too made him happier than he’d been in months.

When you pulled away from the kiss, you smiled and said, “If that wasn’t enough proof, I like you too, Junnie.”

With a soft smile on his face, Dejun said, “I like when you call me Junnie. It’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

“Well, you’re adorable.”

You blushed at his words and asked, “Will you stay here tonight?”

“Yeah, of course. I just need to go back to my apartment and grab a few things. Will you be ok while I do that?”

“I’ll be ok. I think while you do that I’m gonna call Kun and tell him it’s over.”

“Do you need me to stay so that you have a little bit of extra support?”

“I’ll be ok, Junnie. Just knowing you’ll be coming back here is enough.”

“Ok. I’ll be back soon. If you need anything at all, just send me a message, and I’ll be back as soon as possible. Ok?”

“Ok.”

Dejun quickly pecked your cheek and went back to his apartment. While Dejun was gone, you called Kun. When he answered, he was much sweeter than he’d been before he left your apartment, asking, “What’s up, princess?”

You almost chickened out when he called you princess, but just like you knew it would, the thought of Dejun coming back strengthened your resolve. With a deep breath, you said, “It’s over.”

“What do you mean?”

“Our relationship. It’s over.”

In an instant, Kun’s demeanor shifted, and he asked, “Are you fucking serious? After everything I’ve done for you?”

“By ‘what you’ve done for me,’ do you mean treating me like the dirt under your shoe unless you want something? Or do you mean insisting that your friends are into me every time we go out so that you can initiate sex to remind me ‘who I belong to?’”

“I did not-”

“Don’t even try to defend yourself. We’re done.”

Once Kun realized you were serious, he asked, “You know that no one will ever love you like I did, right?” in a last-ditch attempt to get you to stay.

“For my sake, I hope you’re right,” you replied as you hung up for the last time.

Of course, you were relieved that your relationship with Kun was over, but you were still upset that you had to end the relationship in the first place. Sure, you knew that it was for the best, but you also knew that you’d been in a relationship with Kun for a long time, and jumping right into whatever was happening with Dejun was honestly a little bit scary.

You didn’t have to be alone with your anxiety for long, though, since Dejun got back to your apartment just a few minutes after your call with Kun ended. When you opened the door, you noticed that he was holding something behind his back. You wanted to ask him what it was, but before you could, he asked, “How did the call go?”

“It went fine, I guess. Kun and I are officially done now.”

“Good, because I have a surprise for you.”

“What do you-”

Before you could even finish your sentence, Dejun pulled a bouquet of bright red roses out from behind his back. You started to tear up just a little bit when you saw them, but you did maintain your composure long enough to ask, “When did you get these?”

“After I grabbed some stuff from my apartment. I made an extra stop on the way back here.”

Dejun handed you the roses, and you carefully placed them on the table. Then, he pulled you into a hug, and you started to cry once again. Whether they were tears of pain at the end of your relationship or tears of relief that you weren’t going to be mistreated anymore, you couldn’t really say. Regardless, Dejun was right there, holding you close as you cried until you couldn’t anymore.

When Dejun was certain that you were no longer crying, he carefully let go of you and asked, “Will you be ok long enough for me to go to the kitchen and get you a glass of water?”

“Of course. Thank you, Junnie.”

“It’s no problem, sweetheart. Which cabinet do you keep glasses in?”

“The one directly above the stove.”

“I’ll be right back, ok?”

“Ok.”

While you waited for Dejun to come back from the kitchen, you decided to sit down on your couch and focus on keeping yourself calm. It worked mostly, though a few more surprise tears did still slip out. With that being said, you were already starting to feel better about the breakup. You’d spent years being an emotional punching bag for Kun, and now here you were in your living room with a man that held you when you cried and was happy to take care of you when you needed someone.

When Dejun came back, he held a glass of water in each hand. One of them was carefully placed on the table to keep it from spilling, and the other was placed directly in your hands. With a slightly stern look on his face, he said, “Drink. You need it.”

You did as you were instructed, taking a long sip from your glass before setting it next to the other one on the table. With a smile on your face, you said, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Taking care of me today.”

“You don’t need to thank me for that.”

“Yes I do.” There was a moment of silence before you added, “Sit down, Junnie. Please?”

“Alright,” he said with a chuckle. Once he found a comfortable position next to you, you leaned your head on his shoulder and let out a sigh of relief that the chaos of the day was finally over. As you relaxed with Dejun, the two of you talked about pretty much everything as a way to keep your mind off of Kun. And for the most part, it worked. Sure, every so often you would remember something that you did with your now ex and get upset, but Dejun was right there to comfort you with forehead kisses and terrible jokes.

After a while, though, you started to get really tired. So, you asked, “Can we go to sleep now?”

“Sure, sweetheart.”

You slowly stood up from your place on the couch and put the roses that Dejun had given you earlier into a vase filled with water. Once they were carefully positioned on your kitchen counter, you went to your bedroom to change into your favorite set of pajamas. Dejun decided to change in your bathroom, and once you were both fully dressed again, he joined you in your room.

While finding a comfortable position to sleep in was a little bit challenging at first, it didn’t take long for you and Dejun to settle in. Before you went to sleep, though, you looked up at him and said, “Seriously, thank you for being there for me today. I don’t think I could have broken up with Kun if you weren’t in my corner.”

“I’ll always be in your corner.”

You smiled at the reassurance from Dejun and kissed his cheek. He kissed your forehead to return the favor, and you said, “Good night, Junnie.”

“Good night, sweetheart.”

The next morning, you woke up slightly confused as to why there was another person in your bed. Then you started to remember the events of the night before and relaxed, content to stay in Dejun’s arms until he woke up.

Dejun woke up not long after you did, and the first thing he said to you was, “Good morning, gorgeous.”

“Stop,” you groaned, embarrassed by the early morning affection.

“But you are gorgeous.”

You smiled at the compliment and kissed Dejun’s cheek. He blushed at the small gesture and hugged you tighter, and you couldn’t help but feel giddy at the sweet way he was acting toward you. Not wanting it to end, you asked, “So, does last night mean that we’re a thing now?”

“I mean I thought so. Otherwise, this is about to get really awkward,” he responded with a chuckle.

“I thought so, too. I just wanted to make sure we were on the same page,” you said before kissing him again.

Dejun melted into the kiss, and you couldn’t help but tangle your hands in his hair. A soft moan left his mouth, which you liked more than you thought you would. Before the two of you could go too much further, though, your phone rang.

With a groan, you sat up to see who was calling you. When you saw Kun’s number on your screen, however, you silenced your phone and sighed.

“Who was it?” Dejun asked.

“Take a guess,” you said with a laugh.

“Did he seriously call you?”

“Yeah. I know I should have been mature about it and answered, but I really do not want to talk to him anymore.”

“Did you leave anything at his apartment?”

“No, I never have.”

“Then he has no reason to talk to you.”

“I guess you’re right.”

“I know I am.”

A soft smile graced your features, and you kissed Dejun again. God, you didn’t think you could ever get tired of the way he kissed you. Whereas kisses from Kun were usually a means to an end, when Dejun kissed you, you felt the love radiating from every part of him. And if you were being completely honest with yourself, it was a relief to not be treated like an object when you were with him.

After that first night that Dejun spent at your apartment, he was rarely at his own. You loved falling asleep next to him, and he was happy to spend the night any time that you asked. And you did ask frequently.

It was actually during one of the nights that Dejun spent at your apartment that he told you he loved you for the first time. You were about to go to sleep, but just before you drifted off, you heard him say something that you couldn’t quite make out. So, you asked, “What was that, Junnie?”

“I love you.”

You almost didn’t believe him, thinking it was too good to be true, but you didn’t want to risk sounding like an asshole if you said that. So, you just smiled and said, “I love you, too.”

Dejun didn’t respond to your declaration verbally, but you didn’t need or want him to. You were perfectly content with the way he held you tighter after you told him that you loved him, and you were happy to drift off to sleep in his arms once again. This time, however, the knowledge that he loved you just like you loved him made it much easier to relax and get some rest.

While you did find a lot of comfort in just spending time with Dejun at your apartment, you also loved going out on dates with him. Your favorite place to go was a small family-owned restaurant across town. The food wasn’t always the best, and the building was often very crowded, but the little restaurant grew to basically be a second home for you and Dejun as the months went by. Pretty much everyone that worked there knew the two of you after a while, and you never left there without a smile on your face and food in your stomach that tasted like home.

One of the many things about Dejun that you loved was that he always made sure that you knew that he loved you just as much as you loved him. Sure, there were big gestures here and there, like the dress that he bought you for your birthday that you’d been eyeing at your local mall for months. But it was the little things that he did when you least expected them that really solidified how much he loved you.

Dejun’s favorite “small” way to show you that he loved you was buying you roses. He knew that it would sound cheesy if he ever told you, but it really was one of his favorite ways to show affection. The way your eyes lit up when you saw him with flowers in hand and a smile on his face made his heart do backflips in his chest every single time, no matter how long it had been since the first time he got you flowers the night your relationship became official.

Despite the good in your relationship, there were also a few things that Dejun really wanted to address with you. One of the things that he noticed pretty early on was that you tended to use sex as a coping mechanism whenever something went wrong. Even if everything in your relationship was perfect, all it took was a minor inconvenience at work and you were begging him to fuck you. He tried to raise his concerns, since he didn’t want you to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms when he was happy to help you find a healthier outlet for your emotions, but you panicked in the middle of the conversation.

If you were being honest with yourself, you knew that the way you handled your emotions wasn’t exactly healthy. It was what you were used to, however, due to a number of situations in previous relationships. As you listened to Dejun’s explanation of why he was worried about you, you started to think about those relationships and how no one had ever cared about you as much as Dejun did. The thought led to a downward spiral as you started to wonder whether you actually deserved to be with the man that you loved, and a few stray tears fell from your eyes.

The moment you started to cry, Dejun pulled you close and said, “Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I’ve just been so worried, and I thought talking about it might help.”

“It’s ok,” you responded in between sobs. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean-”

“Don’t apologize, love. Do you want to talk about what’s going on?”

“I don’t even know where to start.”

“That’s ok. Just breathe for me, ok?”

You nodded and took a deep breath. As your sobs started to slow, you looked at Dejun and said, “I don’t think I deserve you.”

Dejun was quiet for a moment before he said, “You deserve the best, love. I only wish I could give it to you.”

“Don’t say that, Junnie. You are the best. That’s why I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

The two of you just sat in silence after that, both of you unsure of how to continue the conversation. It was kind of odd if you were being completely honest with yourself. Even on the exceedingly rare occasions that you and Dejun argued, there was never an awkward silence like the one that plagued you after your admission that you felt like you didn’t deserve him. You started to wonder if you’d done something wrong when you said it, but you just weren’t sure what to do. Regardless, you wanted to solve the problems that you’d noticed popping up here and there in your relationship.

For a long time, you did put in a conscious effort to learn better coping skills, and it really paid off. All of your effort started to feel like it was all for nothing, however, when you and Dejun went to your local mall for a date and ran into your ex.

Kun was just as surprised to see you as you were to see him. Regardless of his surprise, however, he really wanted to try to talk to you. He regretted how he’d treated you when you were together, and a small part of him hoped that he could make it up to you.

“Hi, (Y/N),” Kun said, hoping that his voice didn’t betray how nervous he was.

You instinctively gripped Dejun’s hand tighter before you asked, “What do you want?”

“I just wanted to know if you’d like to catch up. It’s been a while, and I miss you,” Kun said, an exaggerated pout forming on his face.

“No, thanks. I’m not interested,” you replied.

“Come on, (Y/N). Please?”

“She said no, asshole,” Dejun interjected, letting go of your hand to step closer to Kun.

“Whatever,” Kun said as he walked away.

When Dejun was certain that Kun was gone, he turned to you and pulled you into a tight hug, asking, “Are you ok?”

“I’m ok, Junnie,” you responded. “Thank you for sticking up for me.”

“I always will, love.”

With the mood of your date night ruined, you asked Dejun to take you home earlier than you’d originally planned. He readily agreed, disappointed that your date was over but understanding that you needed space to recharge.

When you finally got back to your apartment, you softly kissed Dejun’s cheek and told him you loved him. He told you once again that he loved you and to text him if you needed anything. You halfheartedly agreed and shut the door so that you could cry in peace.

After your run-in with Kun, your relationship with Dejun only seemed to get worse. The two of you argued constantly over everything from his lack of understanding when memories of your previous relationship wouldn’t leave your mind to your lack of trust in him as a result of everything that you’d been through. Even the little habits that Dejun had previously told you that he’d loved seemed to set him off after a while, and you started to wonder if your relationship had run its course.

You knew for sure that your relationship with Dejun was pretty much over when he stopped getting you roses when you went on dates. From the moment the two of you made it official, he’d bought you roses for every single date. Even if it was just a casual hangout at the park by your apartment building. When you got there, he was holding a bouquet of roses in what had become your favorite shade of red. You didn’t entirely know why it changed, but for your last several dates, there were no roses. He didn’t even acknowledge it or give some excuse like forgetting to stop at the store before your date. They just stopped.

You wanted to ask Dejun why he’d stopped doing the little things like buying you flowers, but you were concerned about sounding too needy. After all, any time you tried to talk to Kun about the way he treated you, he called you a crazy bitch and treated you like a burden for wanting something different than what he gave you. Deep down, you knew that Dejun was different and would never treat you the way Kun had, but your fear of being hurt again tended to rule over any kind of logic when you were upset.

In the end, there was no massive fight about why Dejun didn’t seem to want to be there for you anymore like you were expecting. In fact, the end of your relationship was much more aptly described as a subtle fading away than an explosion of emotions. Instead of a screaming match that left both of you angry and in tears, there was a simple conversation.

“I don’t think this is working,” you said.

Dejun wanted to fight for a chance to keep trying, he really did, but he saw the way that the changes in the relationship had affected you, and he didn’t want to keep you stuck. So, he just said, “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. It was bound to happen.”

“Does this mean what I think it means?” he asked, his voice breaking and betraying the calm demeanor he tried to put forward for your sake.

You didn’t even answer him with words. Instead, you just nodded, trying not to break down in tears yourself.

Dejun wanted to cling to you and beg you to rethink your decision, but he knew better. He knew that the decision to end the relationship was one that you’d struggled with from the way you seemed to just deflate when you confirmed that it was indeed over, and he knew better than to push you when you’d made up your mind on something. Not wanting to continue bothering you, he just said, “I love you,” and walked out your door for the last time.

The moment Dejun was out the door, you started to sob. You knew that it was for the best, but that didn’t mean that ending your relationship with the one man that had ever treated you with respect didn’t hurt like hell.

Regardless of how badly it hurt to let Dejun go, however, you were determined to turn your pain into productivity. You started going to therapy for the first time in your life, you spent more time with your friends, and when you thought that you were ready, you decided to put yourself back out there.

Admittedly, you and Yangyang had drifted apart when your relationship with Kun ended. After you broke up with Dejun, however, the two of you grew closer than you’d ever been. Yangyang was incredibly intelligent, absolutely hilarious, and genuinely one of the kindest souls that you’d ever met. He didn’t necessarily give you the sense of safety that being with Dejun had given you, but he still made you happy. That was all that mattered to you.

It had been six months since the last time Dejun spoke to you when he saw you out with Yangyang on a random day at the mall. The sight gave him a variety of complex emotions, if he was being completely honest with himself. On one hand, he was hurt that you’d started seeing one of his friends after the two of you broke up. On the other hand, seeing you happy made him happier than you would ever know.

But, despite how happy Dejun was to see you happy, he didn’t stay at the mall long after he saw you with Yangyang. He would have to finish his shopping another day. For now, he was careful not to think about you on the drive home. Once he was back at his apartment, however, he spent most of his evening thinking about you. That wasn’t necessarily different from the norm, though. Thinking about his relationship with you was a common occurrence. He thought about what went wrong, sure, but he really tried to focus on what went right for the two of you. As he remembered the way your eyes lit up every time you told him about something exciting happening at your job, however, he couldn’t help but start to cry again.

Dejun had cried over failed relationships before, but he wasn’t still crying six months later with any of his exes. You were just special in his mind, and he was having a harder time getting over you than he’d ever had getting over an ex before. Still, he knew that time would heal this wound, too. Until then, though, while he would be happy that someone was buying you roses, he would continue to wish that he could still be the one to do it.

Thank you so much for reading! I think this might be my favorite one shot I've ever written. If you liked it too, make sure to like and reblog! If you liked it enough that you want to check out more of my work, you can find my masterlist here. If you'd like to see what else I have in the works, you can find my upcoming works list here. If none of that catches your attention, or there's something specific that you'd like to see, feel free to send me a request via asks or dms! If you'd like to be tagged whenever I upload a new fic, you can comment on one of my posts, send me a dm, or send me an ask with the username that you'd like tagged!

Thank you again for reading my fics and interacting with my blog. Every single note on one of my posts makes me so happy. I appreciate all of y'all.

[thedelicatearcher]

Hiii I just wanted to tell you that I love your work and that it always brightens my mood!!

And can can you make something about finnicks and reader who is like really musical, can play instruments and maybe include something (only if you want to) about r making a sad song and he's kinda worried about her?? 💕

thank you so much!! i really really appreciate when someone tells me that, i love writing about soft finnick

finnick odair with musical gf headcanons 

finnick had a ukulele when he was a kid. every afternoon, he would go to the beach with his little ukulele and strum chords as he watched the shore, trying to find a melody that matched the calm and relaxing ocean waves. 

but he stopped playing years ago. after a powerful hurricane hit district four and destroyed parts of the city, his home suffered the same fate. the fierce winds took his ukelele away, losing it in the chaos. young finnick was really devastated by this loss and couldn't bring himself to play any other instrument after that. 

when he met you, it was as if he were transported back to those moments on the beach, when it was just him and the music. your presence made him feel like he was hearing the prettiest melody. he was completely enthralled by you, wanting to listen to your voice for hours as if it were a classical tune. 

you always bring an instrument wherever you go, whether it’s your guitar, your keyboard, or even your harmonica. and wherever you go, finnick goes too. so it's no surprise that he is used to you randomly playing an instrument when you get bored, him quietly moving his head along to the rhythm of your music, looking at you with an adoring look on his face.

he loves your harmonica, loves watching you play such a simple-looking instrument so skillfully. but what does he love the most about it? borrowing it and playing it himself. at first he just blew air into it until he was out of breath, inadvertently coating it- and everything in front of him -with saliva. but after sitting down with him and patiently explaining how to play it, he can now play short, easy songs. the proud smile on his face after he’s done is worth more than any capitol jewel.

you convinced him to try to learn to play the piano, but he’s just terrible at it, lacking the coordination needed to move both hands simultaneously while maintaining a good tune. he gets very frustrated every time you try to teach him and often says he prefers when you play, observing how gracefully your fingers move and noting that you don’t sport the big frown he does while playing.

you're singing all the time, from humming your favorite songs while you cook together in the kitchen, to softly singing in the shower the song that’s been stuck in your head for days, to singing your self-written songs on your shared bedroom floor at night. finnick, as your biggest fan, adores your beautiful voice. he especially loves the way you run your fingers through his hair while softly singing to him a song you wrote about his sea-green eyes. he has the time of his life when you dramatically perform songs from your favorite musicals just for him.

what he loves the most about you is that you are also a songwriter. ever since you were fifteen, you’ve spent most afternoons on your bedroom floor, pouring your feelings into songs. that hasn’t changed now that you are older, but now you have a muse. his soft crinkles by his eyes, his soft pink lips, and the way he bites them when focused are details that fill you with love and inspiration. his loving and playful personality fuels most of your songwriting. however, you don’t always write songs about him; some are inspired by past relationships, general non-romantic emotions, insecurities, or scenarios from movies you’ve watched. 

one day, finnick came home early and heard soft music as he entered. slowly approaching your door, he was met with the sound of your voice singing a melancholic melody. as the caring boyfriend he is, finnick became worried about you. he didn’t enter the room, wanting to give you some privacy, and waited for you to finish your song and come out to ask if you wanted to talk about your feelings. “i’m fine, finn, just had a rough day and i’m feeling a bit insecure,” you said as finnick held you and kissed your forehead. knowing that writing songs is your way of coping, he simply cuddled you and asked whether you wanted to talk about it or get distracted. after hours of cuddling and watching a movie, you took him to your bedroom and showed him your song, opening your heart and sharing with him a vulnerability only he gets to see.

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Between the Lines 1

Warnings: non/dubcon, Lee is rude, customer service triggers. and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

Characters: Lee Bodecker

Part of the Bookstore AU

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging.

‘So no one told you life was gonna be this way…’

You nearly clap to the theme song stuck in your head. You resist and continue your patrol of the aisle. The lyrics are oddly poignant as you traverse the bookstore. Two degrees and this is what you’re left with. This is far from what you expected.

You don’t hate the job, only the customers. Sometimes. You love books and when you got the call, you were all too happy to trade in your Starbucks apron for collared shirts and dark slacks. As much as you miss the free drinks, you’re more confident around literature.

You come down the main aisle of the store, around the tables in the middle with stacks of best-sellers and promotions, as a woman enters. She’s striking in her pencil skirt and sleek cinched trench coat. Her hair is immaculately highlighted blonde and gold and highlights her beauty. She doesn’t see you in her hurry, surpassing you for the Biography section.

Another customer follows her in the door. He looks after her as he stops just inside. Your curiosity stitches in your forehead. He’s rather intent on trailing her. His jacket has a star pinned on its chest; a cop.

Oh, shoot. Not another thief. You go to greet the officer, “hello, sir, can I help you?”

“Nah, thanks,” he waves you off, his knuckles nearly hit you in the cheek.

You back up and let him pass. You could be wrong but you can’t risk shrink on your shift. Not again. You casually head in the same direction, pretending to fix some book spines as you peer down the aisle where the woman looks back and forth elusively. Hmmm.

You stride towards her and put on your best smile, “hello, miss, is there something I can help you with?”

She looks at you, almost breathless, “um, do you have a bathroom?”

She cranes to peek over her shoulder again. She shudders as if disgusted. You hear the cop down the next row, slowly pacing. You point her towards the back. You don’t see how she could be hiding anything, her jacket is open and her purse isn’t that big.

She hurries off, heels tapping, as she escapes towards the bathrooms. You shrug and continue on, rounding the end and continuing towards the officer. He sees you and frowns, turning his interest to the graphic novels. Your favourite.

“Anything I can help you find?” You ask in your most chipper tone.

“No,” he grumbles, glancing over the shelves towards the fading click of the woman’s heels.

“Um, is something wrong?” You wonder.

“Can you mind your business?” He asks as he turns on you, “I’m a man of the law, I don’t needa explain myself to you.”

“Of course, sir,” you swallow, taken aback by his tone, “I didn’t mean too. I just thought… if you need help. I’m sorry. I’ll be around if you change your mind.”

You show your palms, meekly excusing yourself as you back away. You turn and take a step, skin blazing in embarrassment. You feel as if you’ve been slapped across the face.

“Now, wait a minute, sweetheart,” the officer calls after you, “I should be sayin’ sorry. I wasn’t meanin’ to be so rude. I’m just… long day, ya know?”

You stop and slowly face him. You do your best to shake away the tension. It’s work and it’s not often you get an apology from a customer.

“Yeah, I know,” you give a rocky half-chuckle, “um, so… what did you come in for?”

“Ah, you know, lookin’ around, uh, these comic books,” he points beside him, “they got lots of pictures?”

“Uh, yeah,” you answer as you face the shelf, “do you have a specific genre in mind? Superheroes? Apocalyptic? Mystery? Anime?”

“Well, I got this nephew, he’s real into this stuff. Nerd type things,” he scoffs, “that Batman guy and his car.”

“Oh, looking for a gift? Birthday?” You prompt.

“I ain’t seen my sister in some years and she asked me over. Long story, don’t matter, but I don’t wanna show up empty handed.”

“That’s sweet. A family reunion,” you turn and peruse the shelf, “well, you could get a couple of issues, we’re having buy two get the third free, but an anthology would go a lot further. A bit pricier though.”

“Hmm,” he peruses thoughtfully as he leans in, “you probably don’t know too much either, being a lady and all. But you could help me with my sister. I heard about some writer, Hooter or something?”

“Colleen Hoover? Uh, sure, most people like those and they’re an easy read,” you explain, “but if you’re looking for comics about Batman, I have many suggestions. The Dark Knight is a good read, way better than the movie–”

“I got it figured,” he reaches to slide out Batman: Year One. Not a bad choice, actually. “Now you show me this Hoover whatever. Sounds like a dang vacuum.”

He’s demanding but you’ve dealt with worse. Besides, it’s easier at least when they know what they want. You take him around to the table of popular authors.

“A lot of people like It Ends With Us,” you point to the pink cover, “Maybe Someday also tends to be a hit.”

“You talk a lot, don’t ya?” He grumbles as he puts his hand on his hip, his stomach straining inside his jacket.

“Oh, I’m s-sorry, sir,” you take a breath, neck prickling as you feel your nerves spike, “I’m only doing my job. If you don’t need my help–”

“Did I say that? You ever let a man sit in silence?”

You blink at him and your smile evaporates. What a jackass. You could blame it on the badge but you suspect he’s just a completely intolerable person. No wonder his sister didn’t talk to him for so long.

“Sir, you can pay at the front counter. You can also ask any questions you have up there.” You lean back on your heel, “I have stocking to do.”

“Now, don’t you give me that look. Customer’s always right, ain’t they?” You press your lips in a firm line. You glare at him as he snickers, “you got no respect. Ladies these days seem to forget what that means.” He grabs a book from the table without checking the cover, “I’ll be certain to tell the manager how helpful you were, sweetheart.”

He nears and you stand your ground, taking measured breaths as your wits threaten to crack. He looks you up and down and snorts. He winks as he cradles the books in one arm, reaching to boop your nose with his index. You pull away as your chagrin ripples across your face.

“Some ladies just needa learn their place,” he drops his hand and continues on, swaggering in his victory. Pathetic, it’s not that hard to demean someone who can’t talk back.

[weaselle]

let's talk racist algorithms

i have a weird relationship with music for reasons i won't get into, but as an example, despite loving music, i have not been able to make myself listen to music on purpose in about 6 months. Music is weird for me. BUT I DO LOVE IT

I'm a poet, if i'm really feeling myself i'd even say i'm a word-smith, so rap has a really special place in my heart

The first rap artists i heard and bought an album from them on tape cassette and would listen to all the time were Snoop Dogg, McHammer, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince (that's Will Smith for you young ones) De La Soul, and Vanilla Ice

This was 7th and 8th grade. Rap was the new rock, the kids were going wild for it, and because my school let students select the lunchtime PA music, Vanilla Ice was played at lunch almost every day at school.

We had zero black students at that school.

(I still remember the exact day Vanilla Ice stopped being popular at school, but that's about the severe homophobia of the time and a different story)

Now let's come back to today. When I listen to music it's often on Youtube, or Pandora. And i noticed a problem with these platforms pretty early on.

See, I had taken a big break from rap. Like i said, i have a weird relationship to music i don't have time to get into, but i didn't pay much attention to what was happening in rap for a long time. I'd had a friend who was excited to get me to geek out over Eminem with her a few times, and i went through a phase where i was in love with Digable Planets (high key recommend if you like an indie feel with a smooth jazz sound and east coast vibes)... I had a secret love for that one verse by Left Eye in Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls, could sing every word of Shoop, and i adored every Missy Elliot song that i heard on the radio. And that was about it. As a lyricist myself, the one that stuck in my head the most from this time was eminem, because lyricism is his whole thing.

I don't go to concerts. I don't buy albums. I tend to like specific songs more than specific artists. I know, i know, but that's not the point. When i can listen to music without it fucking me up mentally, I listen to music on Youtube and Pandora

And lyricism is my main attraction to rap, so when i came back to it on Youtube I put in Eminem first.

And right away, Youtube started recommending other rappers to me. And very quickly, i discovered that i was being recommended mostly white rappers.

I really like Hopsin, I went through a Dumbfounddead phase, i was into Dax for a minute, i like Domo Wilson, the J. Cole songs i like I REALLY like, I'm obsessed with Snow tha Product, I love the first Janelle Monae album i heard, i still fangirl over Missy Elliot, it's no surprise i like Joyner Lucas...

All of these i discovered and listened to via Youtube.

But because i like eminem, because I had a phase where i enjoyed a couple indie artists like Watsky, Wax, and Dan Bull, and because my depressed ass was drawn to NF and now a little Ren, when Youtube recommends rap artists to me, 90% of the algorithm recommendations are white artists. White men, specifically.

I had a similar problem with Pandora.

I actually had to create a special Pandora station that i seeded with three black artists and then ONLY liked non-white artists AND disliked every white artists that came up, just to get a station that wouldn't turn itself into a white rap channel.

It makes me furious, because i don' want to care about who is a white artist and who is a black artist!!!! I just want to listen to music that i like!!! But these bullshit music platforms make me have to care a lot about who is white and who is black just to not be pushed into racist music tastes and i fucking hate it.

And, if i'm being super honest, one reason i really hate it is because i know i probably really do have some internal racist tendencies when it comes to music, because i was raised white in america, and i really resent having to fight these fucking algorithms instead of, idk, being helped by them. I need to be able to look at my feed and assess it for my own unacknowledged racism... like, if there was no algorithm, and i looked at my music history and saw all white artists, i could be like, OH. I need to look in the mirror about this. But instead i have to play this weird tug-a-war with the platform about it and i can't tell what's my own deficiency and what is being forced on me. But SOME of it is being forced on me.

I mean for fucks sake, Snow tha Product does half her lyrics in spanish and the algorithm sees me love her and STILL recommends mostly white men. Hundreds of hours of listening to her, and zero spanish artist recommendations. Its infuriating.

Anyway, if you're curating your music tastes mostly online, and you start with white artists at all, then you really really gotta work to not fall deep into the bias.

And if that's what's happening with the music, how much more insidious must the social commentary content bias be

[cherryapplebee]

a list of things I really liked about the bear (on first watch)

1. the show begins and ends with the shot of the train passing by. it isn't shown stopping just moving across the screen as if to drive home the transitional journey that S3 depicted between major plot points that can occur in the show

2. carmy actually apologises to richie and says I love you. i wish there was more of the sincere apology

3. tina and richie sharing their parenting experience with nat

4. nat listening to the "types of children alcoholics have" and having it memorised, wanting not to let what is in her head ruin her baby's experience and just her overall sincere efforts to be a good mother

5. sydney being inducted into the family with richie clearly respecting + relying on her during service, marcus and sydney sharing their experiences of losing their mothers, cicero talking to Sydney and visibly realising how important she is to the bear, Sydney and pete together, Sydney and TINA ofc. i just love Sydney being part of the bear family

6. how introspective and creative markus is and him really finding expression through his desserts

7. carmy + luca meeting at chef terry's

8. carmy + chef terry's conversation

9. all those past flashbacks of carmy genuinely being content and at peace while working and learning in restaurants and around chefs who respected him

10. loved to see more of how carmy communicates through non verbal creative expression forms like his beautiful drawings, his silent improvements in the kitchen, his food ofc

11. the split screen scene where Richie is standing in the dining area shrouded in blue light and carmy inside in the kitchen in warmer light was extremely reminiscent of the argument scene they had from S2 when carmy was stuck in the walk in. except in the S2 scene they were actually facing each other actively fighting but in the S3 parallel they have their backs to each other and their lighting has flipped.

12. luca just luca. nerd luca geeking out about dish ideas and getting nervous in front of his idol chef. nostalgic luca. luca + sydney friendship. luca + carmen friendship. just every second he was on screen.

13. adding more character depth to cicero and how he genuinely cares about carmy + nat

14. sydney getting POACHED angst because I love the DRAMAHH

15. the found family of the bear. i love all my chefs so much. they have my entire heart.

16. STRANGE CURRENCIES STILL PLAYING OVER *CONFLICTED* CARMY AND CLAIRE RELATIONSHIP omg that song gives me so much brainrot it's always SO STRATEGICALLY PLACED.

17. the wholesome party at syd's house after funeral in the last ep

18. MORE OF SYD AND HER DAD

19. pete is so cute fr

20. Richie just being such a great dad

21. episode one man. i just really like how it was paced.

22. in true invisible string ass fashion carmy serving his modified blood orange dish to Sydney OBVIOUSLY

23. the chef's at Terry's funeral dinner just talking about how much they love their jobs and their passion for food.

I know I'll notice more things about this season that I'll like and obviously there are things i disliked. but rn I am not focusing on the latter that much. the time will come for it. I've just been waiting for this season for so long. and i really do appreciate it for whatever it was. i love the bear and the people in this show and i love that the show truly is becoming more and more about the BEAR as a WHOLE rather than just carmy. I hope it keeps getting richer and richer.

eagerly awaiting what's next :)