#the solution is to not be living at home but that one is complicated too

[raycatz]

something something my mom has always been very strict that my family eat healthy. Organic, no junk food, no sugar, etc. but it got to the point of starting to go on fad diets progressively cutting more and more out to try and see what might fix whatever health issue we might have had at the time. no milk. no eggs. no soy. no wheat. no white rice. whatever it was she had read was evil that week. It didn't lead to a very good relationship with food!

anyways this is just to say I am so glad to the summer camp I work at for how good the food is. I am so thankful that camp has the resources to provide us with so many options. when we make pack out requests I can ask for nearly anything. even things that aren't in the kitchen I can request for it to be brought up from a town run. I can even request individual items on recs on the side just for me or my staffmates. An individual yogurt. A single gluten free muffin. And because our kitchen staff are awesome they'll do that for us!

We rarely had strawberries at home 1) because they had to be organic and 2) because organic berries are expensive and my mom would always guilt trip us or point it out when when we got them. But at camp when cooking out it's really common to get strawberries. It's just something you can do. They're not organic and I don't care. I'm just happy to get to eat.

Desserts, too. There will sometimes be a camper who will go, "my mom doesn't want me eating sugar. I should only eat half." Kiddo I won't tell if you don't. Your mom isn't here. I'm happy if you eat and enjoy eating.

One of the things we're taught when trained is to not try and control the kid's eating and thank goodness for it! Just make sure they're eating something. If kiddo doesn't want to eat anything but cheerios for the week- that's fine. They're eating. Offer them what else is available but like, that's it that's enough.

If we have leftovers by the end of the week we'll keep what can be used next session and send the rest home with the campers. Last summer I sent a camper home with two loaves of bread and it was so funny watching them proudly show them off. Last summer kitchen was testing out a teriyaki turkey bacon recipe and they had sooo much leftover, but my unit liked it, and we were able to send all the kids home with a baggie of it. The was a session where we had a lot of leftover apples and dessert toppings so we had a candied apple party with lunch before sending the kids home on the bus. The kids were thrilled! On Mondays, the campers choose what they want to eat at cookouts for the week and then at the cookouts they're part of the process, getting to help start the fire, cook, clean. If they're older, we encourage and guide them to lead cookouts themselves.

There is no evil food. It's one of the most rewarding things to feed these kids!

[dream-with-a-fever]

ginny weasley did not

defend harry against malfoy in flourish and blots when he was picking on him (it’s the first time she ever speaks in front of him)

carry around a horcrux for the better half of a year and realise that something was wrong and try to dispose of it at age 11

get possessed, manipulated and controlled by one of the darkest wizards of all time and live to tell the tale

get forced to write her own farewell note on the wall in blood and walk to her own death

go on as normally as possible afterwards despite the trauma of her first year, because she didn’t want to be a nuisance

make harry a get well soon card after he fell off his broom because of the dementors in third year

tell harry and ron off when making fun of neville for not being able to get a yule ball date

refuse harry as a yule ball date despite having harboured a crush on him for years because she didn’t want to hurt neville

see harry was floundering after hermione & ron left him to do prefect duties and immediately take charge and invite him to come with her

defend luna against bullies, and encourage neville to believe in himself and know his self worth

decide to quit pining for harry because it was a waste of time, instead dating other boys and becoming a solid friend to him

join dumbledore’s army without a second thought, coining the name and even encouraging more ravenclaws to join

call harry out when he was in a downward spiral about being possessed, explained her own experience and remained gracious despite him forgetting her biggest trauma

fill in for harry as seeker in the quidditch team and help them win the quidditch cup that year

reassure harry that he will play quidditch again, when he was feeling low about umbridge’s life long ban

encourage harry to talk to cho if that’s what he’s upset about (putting her own complicated feelings for him aside)

get harry to admit what was actually upsetting him and helping him find a solution

immediately agree to help harry by standing guard outside umbridge’s office despite not knowing any details

call harry out whenever he was being snarky / impatient with her and not take any of his shit

disarm malfoy & the others and escape from umbridge’s office to rush to harry and hermione’s aid

refuse to stay behind at hogwarts stating that she cared for sirius too and wanted to help

go with the others to the DoM in an attempt to save sirius, risking her life and breaking her ankle in the process

refuse to tolerate her brother’s new girlfriend who was being snobbish about her family’s home and lifestyle (but then go on to love and respect her, as they mature)

get invited to join the slug club because of her skill with hexes and not nepotism (the only one who wasn’t invited for that reason)

tell off zabini for laughing at harry about what went down at the DoM

call ron the fuck out when he was borderline slut-shaming her

crash into the commentator’s podium to shut zacharias smith up from talking smack about the gryffindor team

immediately try to intervene when she thought harry was in danger of being possessed by the hbp potions book

tell off dean and seamus for laughing when harry got seriously hurt in quidditch

come to harry’s defence after he attacked malfoy (bc he had to defend himself against an unforgivable curse) and stand up to (one of her) closest friend(s) to do so

step up to play seeker in harry’s place (again) in the quidditch final and winning the cup in his absence (!!!!)

make harry feel “the happiest he had ever been” when they finally got together

make my boy LAUGH 24/7 and bring him (and many others) so much JOY

support harry after dumbledore’s death, knowing when to give him comfort and also space

show unwavering love and loyalty to harry when he was trying to break up with her, claiming she didn’t care about the danger

also ultimately not fight his decision, understanding his need to stop voldemort once and for all, despite her being completely heartbroken

respect harry’s wishes to stay broken up, but still give him the most INSANE kiss ever as a birthday present (and something for him to fight for!!)

return to hogwarts under the rule of deatheaters, despite the target on her back as a blood traitor (also as brother of ron AND ex girlfriend of harry)

take the place of younger students and try to protect them from being tortured by the carrows

start up dumbledore’s army again with neville and rebel against the system, to reek as much havoc as possible at hogwarts

try to steal the sword of gryffindor from snape’s office because they wanted to help the cause as much as possible despite understanding why they needed it and ultimately being punished for it

refuse to stay put in the room of requirement when her family were out risking their lives during the battle and given the chance, immediately joined the fray

comfort an injured younger student at the battle, and stay strong for them, despite having just found out her brother had been killed

duel with bellatrix in the battle and almost lose her life doing it

go through so much and have her trauma be overlooked and forgotten by so many

go on to play QUIDDITCH PROFESSIONALLY in the team she DREAMED of playing for

and then going back to a career in writing (sports correspondent) despite her traumatic experience with the diary

marry the love of her life and have three beautiful children and get the happy ending that she deserves after EVERYTHING????

all for you guys to shit on her the way you do. put some goddamn RESPECT on MISS GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY’S name. she’s NOT a mary sue, she’s NOT a bully, and she’s NOT boring. she’s an ICON.

[marcyvamp1re-blog]

BUT, I LOVE IVY.

( 𝖲𝖯𝖮𝖨𝖫𝖤𝖱𝖲 ) !?

pairings ⸺Poison Ivy x Batsis! Fem! Reader

(Slight) Yandere! Batfamily x Anti-hero! Fem! Reader

This is a Headcanon!

sinopsis ⸺ When you left home, your whole life began to take on color. It wasn't an immediate change, more like those afternoons when the sun sets slowly, painting the walls with a golden light. You didn’t have a great job, you were barely getting by with what you earned, and the apartment you found had more cracks than solid walls. But somehow, none of that seemed to matter.

What filled you was freedom, that new feeling of not owing anyone an explanation. And then, there was her. Pamela, with her easy laughter and restless gaze that always seemed to be searching for something, found you. You didn’t know when it happened, but suddenly, she became the center of your small universe.

You didn’t need anything else. Her gestures filled the voids, her presence taught you to enjoy the silences. She wasn’t perfect, nor did she pretend to be. And maybe that’s what captivated you, that sincerity she had when she let her words fall, without disguising them. Life wasn’t easy, but with Pamela, the complications seemed less important, as if the chaos in which you lived became a soft melody, one you only understood when she was near.

After all, you were free, and you had her. And that, you thought, was enough.

warnings ⸺ Fluff, Girls Kissing, Dark Themes, Dead,Religion, murdering, Disturbing Content, Discrimination, Street Fights, Suicide, Violence, Blood, LGBT Content, NSFW, Sexual Content, Smut, Addiction, Trauma, Phobias.

A/N ── Here’s a headcanon of Ivy x S/O because I saw that you liked it, and since things are going to take a darker turn in the next part of Silly Little Bat, there won’t be time for romance and all that, just pure angst. This is a little gift for all your support, and thank you for encouraging me. Marceline loves you ♡

Two hearts on the floor.

One Mine,

Both Yours ♡

When you and Pamela met, you had just left the nest and were trying to become independent with trembling hands but a heart full of enthusiasm. You had landed a job at a nightclub, Super Babes, where the owner, after examining you closely, insisted that you looked like Batgirl. Without asking many questions, you found yourself wrapped in a cape and tight mask. "It's the uniform," he told you with a smile that tried to be convincing. "You'll get used to it."

What you didn't get used to were the long nights, the incredibly uncomfortable heels, and the salary that barely covered rent. No matter how kind your coworkers were and how punctual the boss was with paychecks, the math didn’t lie: sooner or later, you were going to fall behind on rent. The landlord, a man with a furtive gaze and hands always too busy on his belt, only heightened the feeling of suffocation.

The solution came with the idea of finding a roommate. After a couple of failed encounters with people who smelled like trouble or, at best, minor inconveniences, Pamela appeared.

The door opened, and she stepped in with the same calm one has when entering a private garden. She was somewhere between twenty and thirty, although, according to her, "she had just recently been reborn." When she said that, you took it as a metaphor. Later, you would realize that with Pamela, it was almost never about metaphors.

"I like the place" she said, surveying the tiny living room with a smile that seemed charmingly sincere to you.

"It has a view of the... street" you replied, trying to compensate for the lack of natural light with your enthusiasm.

She laughed, and you noticed she had an easy laugh, the kind that makes you feel comfortable instantly. Pamela wasn’t the first to respond to the ad, but she was the first decent person. And also the first to make you feel those butterflies you thought were reserved for novels.

Days passed, and gradually, what began as a quiet coexistence transformed into something more. The work nights became less burdensome when you knew that returning home would mean finding Pamela there, with a cup of hot tea in hand and some ironic observation about life. Her voice, her gestures, began to blend into your routine, and the space between you filled with something neither dared to name.

You discovered several things about her, but never in the order you would have expected. It was like finding a novel written on scattered papers, without a clear beginning and too many endings. You learned about her deaths, yes, those that left her with invisible but deep scars, caused by the betrayal of those she once called companions and, more cruelly, by human hands, those fragile hands that paradoxically carried infinite violence. She confessed to you that this life, the one she shared with you, would be her last. There would be no more resurrections, no more spectacular rebirths under fiery skies or endless vines. This life, she said, she wanted simple, almost vulgar: to be an average citizen, nothing more, nothing less.

And then it was her turn. She also learned things about you. Not everything, of course, but enough to look beyond your sporadic smiles. She knew, for example, that you had been abandoned by your adoptive family, left adrift in a house too big for your small hands. She knew about your degrees, yes, those that hung on the walls like empty trophies. She knew about your skills, those that alternated between the delicate and the violent: the dexterity of your hands, the music that flowed from your fingers, and the echo of combat that marked your skin like a second score. She also knew about your unusual desire: you wanted a bat as a pet, something as solitary as you, something that didn’t need the sun to live. And above all, she knew you didn’t want children, never, because your childhood had been too long a scar, one you didn’t wish to replicate in another life.

You both shared secrets like one drops breadcrumbs in the forest, knowing that in the end, neither would seek the way back.

Summer arrived, bringing with it a warmth on Gotham’s nights that didn’t seem to belong. As if the city, always shrouded in shadows, allowed for a moment the air to be filled with laughter and light-hearted jokes. You went for walks in the park, trying to match your pace to hers while the world continued its course around you, oblivious to the little bubble that seemed to envelop you when you were with Pamela.

But the spell broke, as it often did, abruptly. Two boys crossing the opposite path looked at you with that disdain that can only be understood from ignorance. “Look, more generic lesbians” one said, not bothering to lower his voice. "Damn, the other one looks like her sugar baby." Your heart sank with a dull thud, an echo of old fears that you could never quite bury.

Pamela noticed instantly, her attention as subtle and sharp as leaves in the wind. Without saying anything, she took your hand with a firmness that held you, not just physically, but emotionally. Her smile appeared, scornful, a gesture stronger than any word. She knew, she had always known, that you weren’t quite used to dating girls, much less with boys looking on from their comfortable blindness. She understood that every stranger's glance was for you an ajar door to the past, to that corner where doubts flourished like weeds.

But for Pamela, weeds were just another form of life. And with a gentle flick of her fingers, vines surged from the ground like green serpents, wrapping around the boys' feet and dragging them away without fuss, as if the very earth were reclaiming them.

"Wow" she said with a barely perceptible smile as she guided you toward a nearby ice cream cart.

She bought you an ice cream, one of those ridiculously themed ones, a "bat-cream" that seemed a gentle mockery of the bat that hovered over your life. And as you licked it distractedly, you felt the pressure in your chest slowly fade, swept away by the sweet taste and the comforting sensation of her hand still intertwined with yours.

Christmas was a revelation. Not because it was a holiday in itself— you had always been indifferent to those blinking lights and persistent carols— but because it was the first time you truly felt that love was not merely a concept written in books or whispered in songs, but something you could touch, almost feel, in every little gesture of Pamela, or rather, Pam, or Ivy, as she insisted you call her. And you, with that mix of disbelief and happiness that overwhelmed you, discovered in her something you struggled to find anywhere else in the world: refuge.

That Christmas also came with a kind of unexpected family. Harleen, who had recently left behind the clown prince of crime, appeared one afternoon like a whirlwind of laughter and jokes, treating you like a little sister from the very first moment. "You know, I had a hyena, did I tell you? I named it Bruce. After the hot playboy in the magazines. Is he your dad? You have to introduce me!" she said amidst laughter, and the remark drew a chuckle from you. There was something ironic and sweet about the most chaotic woman in Gotham making those kinds of absurd connections.

Selina was different. Her arrival was stealthy, like the shadow cast by a feline before it strikes, but there was no attack. On the contrary, from the moment she crossed the threshold, she looked at you with an almost maternal softness. "I met your mother," she said at some point during the night while cradling a glass of wine, and you could barely process those words. You didn’t ask more; it wasn’t necessary. In that gaze, you knew everything. Selina adopted you without saying it, with that blend of authority and tenderness that only she could conjure.

And then there was Pamela. Your Pam. Your Ivy. She was the center around which everything revolved. In those cold, bright days, everything in her presence felt perfect, a secret choreography only you could understand. She would kiss you before you left for work, always soft but with the promise of something more, something waiting for your return. And when you came back, there she was, dinner ready, always with a sermon on the wonders of protein and how vicious herbivores were. "They're worse than carnivores" she insisted with a smirk. "Grass-eaters are no better than hunters. Just trust me."

She stayed with you through every emotional crisis without fuss, without grand dramatic gestures; she simply was, and her presence made the shadows dissipate, as if her mere existence in your life was enough to bring order to your internal chaos. And she, for her part, found you fascinating. She adored you, in a way that was almost reverential, as if you were that little Bat she never thought she would love. She called you that, "my Bat," with a mix of tenderness and mischief. She knew you were small, tiny, fragile in appearance, but beneath that shy surface, she found something that intrigued her, a strength that made you unique in her eyes.

"I love you" she told you one night as she watched you from across the room, a barely formed smile on her lips. "You're so shy... but there's something in you that could change the world if you set your mind to it." And it wasn’t an empty declaration. She, more than anyone, could see what others didn’t.

Pamela didn’t just adore your shyness. She adored you, in all your forms, in your doubts, in your small acts of bravery, in every instance you faced the world and returned to her, seeking refuge.

Despite the happiness, Gotham was not always a kind place. During an outing to a music festival, the two of you became the subject of uncomfortable stares and whispers behind your backs.

However, those moments of mockery were followed by nights of hugs and laughter on the sofa, where you both sat together watching movies while you tried to find comfort in the stories of heroines who saved the world.

Life went on, and although there were moments of joy, there was something in the air that was changing. When you turned 19, you began to feel restless. One night, you went out to work, as always, with your heart full of love for Pamela and the promise of a future together. But that night, everything changed. The city was dark, and the fog seemed to have a life of its own, wrapping around you in its icy embrace.

Days and weeks passed. Pamela tried to contact you, but there were no signs of you. Desperate, she began searching for you all over Gotham, consulting her friends, Harleen and Selina. However, each attempt to find you turned into frustration and anger.

When things grew darker, Pamela became hysterical. The idea of losing you consumed her mind. But her methods were aggressive, and every lead she followed turned into a dead end.

One night, in her frenzy, Pamela confronted Batgirl, better known to you as Cassandra Cain, trying to get answers. But her erratic behavior led Batgirl to take drastic measures, and without knowing that Pamela was only searching for her sister, she put her in Arkham. The doors closed behind her, and as she fought against anxiety, the question kept echoing in her mind: where were you?

Fate had played a cruel card. While Pamela faced her own prison, you remained lost somewhere in Gotham, the echo of her name resonating in your mind like a siren's song you could not answer.

On Monday night, there was something different, a pause in the routine that allowed you to breathe more slowly. You had finished early, which was almost a luxury in Gotham. Sitting on the couch, with a forgotten tea on the table and a movie that Harleen had recommended—a romantic comedy directed by Jamie Babbit—you let yourself get carried away by the light dialogue, although you remembered the name of the director more than the plot itself. The dark green nightgown you had found at the bottom of the drawer seemed like the perfect choice for that night of respite, an old lace that had survived the test of time, as if its wear carried with it a hint of nostalgia.

"You dressed to tease me" Pamela had once said, half-laughing and half-serious, when she saw you in that garment that, in her eyes, had a spell to it. The truth was that you hadn’t planned it; that night you just wanted to be comfortable, to sink into the softness of the couch and the lethargy of the movie, but Ivy's words always lingered in the air, as if she knew something that you barely sensed.

You were halfway through the movie when you heard the familiar sound of the door opening. Ivy walked in, and the weariness on her shoulders was visible from the threshold. She moved with that natural elegance she had, but there was something heavier in her stride. Then you saw it, the bruise that hinted at her cheek, diffuse, like a shadow that had misplaced itself. You knew what it meant: another day in Gotham, another confrontation, another battle against something or someone. And yet, she said nothing, as if the pain were part of the atmosphere, something mundane that didn’t deserve to be named.

"Tough day?" you asked, your voice breaking the silence she had brought with her. Pamela didn’t respond immediately. She let herself fall beside you on the couch, her warmth enveloping you instantly. Her eyes, always green and alive, roamed you from head to toe, a spark ignited at the corner of her lips.

"Not more than usual," she finally murmured, with that mixture of weariness and desire you recognized so well. "But you... you make everything feel better." Her fingers brushed the edge of your nightgown, just a gesture, but enough to change the tone of everything in the room.

The bruise on her cheek did not diminish her strength in the slightest. On the contrary, there was something in that small imperfection that made her seem even closer, more tangible, as if for a moment, the green goddess she was had allowed herself to be human too. Her fingers slid down your arm, soft, but with the firmness you always knew would come, like vines seeking to wrap around every corner. The air grew dense, and the movie became a distant murmur, lost among the shadows of the room.

"Do you know you drive me crazy with that nightgown?" she said, leaning toward you, her voice low and husky, as if dragging behind it the echo of a desire she had been holding back all day.

"Like this?" you replied, trying to sound innocent, though the slight tremor in your voice betrayed you. Her hands were already on your waist, drawing slow circles, and the skin under the lace seemed to awaken at the touch, as if that caress were an order your body could not refuse.

Pamela smiled at you, that smile she reserved only for moments like this, intimate, private, where the masks fell away and what remained was just the shared desire. She leaned you toward her, and her warm breath mingled with yours, a barely perceptible space between both bodies.

The bruise on her cheek, the battles of the day, all of that faded when her lips touched yours, soft but urgent, as if in that kiss she wanted to reclaim lost time, the hours when she hadn’t had you close. Her hands moved with an almost mathematical precision, knowing exactly where to touch, where to press, how to make every inch of your skin respond to her will.

"You don’t know how much I needed this" she whispered against your mouth, her voice laden with a vulnerability she didn’t often show. And you, tangled in her warmth, in the weight of her body against yours, knew there was no place in the world you would rather be.

The green nightgown had fallen into oblivion, like words fall away when what matters is the language of bodies, that secret language that is spoken without being said. The whole world reduced to the space you shared, to the softness of her fingers gliding with deliberate slowness, as if each touch were a note lingering in the air. The movie, the hours passed, the murmur of Gotham outside, all dissolved into the present, into the synchronized breathing you shared, into the soft moan escaping your lips when her hands found you.

Pamela knew how to move in your body like someone walking in a garden that belongs to her; every touch was a root seeking fertile ground, every kiss, the rain awakening the dormant within you. Her lips found yours at the same rhythm as her fingers, now beyond any fabric, exploring that intimate space only she knew, that only she was allowed to discover. There was no hurry in her movements, because time, in those moments, always played in favor. Each caress, each calculated pressure, was as if she were tracing an invisible map over your skin, and you, lost and found in her hands, could only respond with the silent surrender of one who neither knows nor wants to resist.

Your legs, slightly apart, invited her to continue, to mark her territory in every corner of your body. The soft brush of her fingers on your swollen lips felt like a promise, a promise you knew she would keep, and your hands, now on her neck, tangled in her red hair, were a call to the depths, to that place where words could not follow. And when her lips parted from yours, just for a second, to gaze at you with that mix of desire and devotion, you knew that in that look was everything you needed to understand.

"Doctor Isley..." you whispered, and in the echo of that name, in the way you pronounced it, there was a surrender she recognized immediately. The smile that appeared on her lips was almost feline, satisfied, as if with that title you gave her something more than your body; you gave her the power to be whoever she wanted to be for you.

"Oh~ I like that," she replied, her voice husky, laden with desire, as her fingers, skillful and sure, began to move with exquisite precision over your core. Each touch, a small fire, each pressure, a promise fulfilled.

The air around you grew denser, as if the heat between you could ignite the room. Your breaths, ragged, mingled with whispers you no longer recognized as yours. You were an extension of her, and she of you, two bodies that recognized each other, that knew exactly how to find each other, how to lose themselves in one another without fear.

Pamela, with her lips tracing your neck, with her warm breath sending shivers down your skin, disarmed you with the ease of someone who has learned to read your silences, to understand your needs before you even did. And you, in that surrender, in that slow but inevitable dance, felt safe.

Her lips, soft as the murmur of leaves in the wind, ventured across your skin, tracing a secret map where each kiss was a promise being fulfilled, slowly, without haste. Each caress, each brush, was a silent pact between two souls that had found each other amid the vast loneliness of Gotham. And you, surrendered, were no more than a whisper in her hands, a murmur that was born and died between her fingers, between her lips.

Pamela descended slowly, with a devotion that made you tremble, her lips drawing invisible paths, leaving a trail of warmth and anticipation that coursed through you entirely. There was no urgency in her movements, only a deep love manifesting in every kiss, in every contact that seemed to say: here I am, and here I will stay. Her tongue, like an echo of her soul, found your core, that hidden place you barely knew yourself, and caressed it with the precision of one who knows every secret of your body.

The first touch was soft, almost reverent, like someone caressing a flower that has just opened to the sun. Your legs opened in an invitation that needed no words, and Pamela, with the tenderness she always had, let her mouth delve into you, exploring with infinite patience. Her tongue, which seemed to paint entire landscapes on your skin, touched you where you needed it most, with that mix of desire and tenderness only she could offer.

Every movement was a symphony, a perfect note resonating in every fiber of your being. Your body, still inexperienced in that type of pleasure, responded with little spasms, as if you were learning to feel for the first time. And amid that joy, amid the sighs and tremors, there was something deeper, something beyond desire: a fondness that enveloped everything, a certainty that in those moments you were hers, and she, without saying it, also belonged to you.

Pamela was not rushing; she knew true pleasure was not just about the body but the soul connecting in those moments of deep connection. Each time her tongue sank into you, each time her lips brushed your skin, you felt something beyond physical pleasure: you felt the love of a woman who knew you, who cared for you, and who, in that moment, loved you in a way you had never experienced before.

Your hands, trembling, clutched at her hair, as if seeking to anchor yourself to reality amid that sea of sensations. And as the rhythm of her caresses increased, as the pleasure grew within you, you knew that in that instant there was nothing else in the world. Just you, just her, and the love unfolding in whispers and soft moans.

It wasn’t just her tongue making you tremble; it wasn’t just the pleasure coursing through you in increasingly intense waves. It was the way she looked at you between each kiss, as if you were the only thing that truly mattered.

Your body shook, and the world faded away in a silent explosion, a cascade of sensations enveloping you completely. There were no words, just the echo of your ragged breathing and the warmth of her mouth still on you, claiming every part of that climax that overflowed you. Pamela, attentive, savored your ecstasy with the same devotion that had brought you there, collecting every little tremor, every sigh that escaped your lips.

Her eyes looked at you with a mix of satisfaction and tenderness, and you, with your heart still racing, knew that this was the closest thing to a confession of love you could have in that moment. Pamela loved you in that shared silence, in the brush of her skin against yours, in the way her tongue had traced a path to the deepest part of you.

But you couldn’t let the moment end just in your satisfaction. With a slow, almost feline movement, you slid between her arms and gently pushed her onto the couch, your hands already seeking the curve of her waist, the firmness of her hips. Pam looked at you with that gaze of hers, always so confident, but in her green eyes, there was a spark of expectation. She knew what was coming and accepted it with the same tranquility with which nature receives the rain.

Without saying a word, your lips found hers in a deep kiss, filled with that mix of gratitude and desire that now consumed you. Your hands roamed her body, learning her contours, every nook, every curve she allowed you to discover. You moved slowly, following the trail her lips had left on you before, but this time it was your turn to make her tremble, to return everything she had given you.

Your fingers glided over her soft skin, slowly stripping her of any barrier that remained between you. And when your lips reached her core, you paused for a moment, just to look at her, to see how her eyes closed with anticipation, how her lips parted in a sigh you already knew. Nothing more was needed than that gesture. You knew, in that instant, that she too surrendered to you, that she too was giving you something deeper than her body.

You began with a softness you knew she would appreciate. Your lips and your tongue traced slow paths, circles that became more and more precise, as you listened to her little moans, feeling how her body relaxed under your caresses. There was no hurry. The only thing that mattered was that moment, the space between you filled with whispers and shared breaths.

Pamela arched her back, her fingers tangled in your hair, and in that gesture, in the tension of her body, you knew you were bringing her closer to her own limit. And though there were no words, though the silence was only broken by her sighs, love was there, in every touch, in every slow movement of your tongue that made her tremble more and more.

"Y/n..." her voice was barely a whisper, as if saying your name were the only thing she could do at that moment. You needed nothing more. It was the signal you had been waiting for, the last vestige of control she was handing over to you, trusting, surrendering.

You continued, deeper, slower, taking her to that place where words no longer made sense, until finally, with a tremor that coursed through her entire body, Pamela let herself go. Her breathing became erratic, her back arched one last time, and then, amid that silent explosion they shared, you knew that she too had arrived.

When you finally pulled away, you slowly moved up, leaving kisses on her still warm skin, until you reached her face. She looked at you with that tenderness she always had, and without needing to say it, she made you understand that in that instant, in that space of love and pleasure, it was just you and her.

Just you and her in the world.

A/N ─── Bro, it’s super long, don’t mess with me 😭. It’s my first sapphic smut, have some patience! Honestly, I could have made it longer, but I was in panic mode like “Is this too much already?” and I freaked out, haha. This is my little gift for those who ship Poison Ivy x Reader (Silly Little Bat) because, spoiler alert, something not-so-nice is coming soon 👀��. So enjoy while you can, because things are about to get intense... you better thank me! 😅

Don’t forget, if you want to request something, the shop is open!

Take a bath!

[ivesambrose]

🤍 WHAT YOU'RE MANIFESTING NEXT 🤍

1. 2. 3.

Starting off new pick a cards with something sweet and simple that everyone can look forward to.

To book a personal reading with me DM or email me at ivesambrose@gmail.com

Masterpost

Services Offered

Thank you for the tip

Picture 1

Its likely you've felt rather helpless and alone, as though life has been testing you to the point it feels like a schedule to get to them and tick them off in your mental notepad once done. It is likely you've felt extra strained in your home environment or hometown, you may have attempted to leave but something or the other comes your way. You may have felt consistently blocked or unable to leave or unable to find a solution to a problem you've been facing in regards to your house or family.

A small part of you then decided to turn the worst case scenarios in your favour somehow. One of the ways being, "all of these sufferings will be rewarded. At least, mine will." I imagine you said this to yourself through gritted teeth. I want to tell you that the first thing you're manifesting is learning and accepting that suffering for rewards and accomplishments as poetic as they sound, shouldn't be the default settings you function under.

You're manifesting -

• A solution and clarity. No more illusions that worry you from taking the next step or making a decision.

• A community that allows you to bloom. New friends and network.

• Relocation.

• An end to apathy and boredom.

• An end to turmoil, stagnation and feeling of lack and helplessness.

• The beginning you've been anticipating as everything ends around you.

Timings: The coming 3 months.

Picture 2

You may have felt a lack of proper guidance in your life. That no matter what mentor came through or what ever path you sought to follow, everything somehow got complicated when you looked up to it. So many contradictions and so many lies. So you decided the only constant guidance are your own experiences and intuition. There's a life of adventure you seek, a career that lets you live the way you've wanted, for your words to inspire others without coming off too preachy and pretentious. Life has lacked stability likely due to external forces because you've time and time again done your best to obtain the stability that had been taken away from you. There's an intention you had set some time back and that is finally coming into fruition. Thing is, you knew it was going to happen anyway no matter how dire it seemed, you just needed to water this intention by directing your energy to it. You're manifesting -

• Increase in creativity with the energy to express it as well. Feeling in charge of your life. Leading rather than being led.

• Travelling to foreign locations for higher education or job/career. A career that lets you travel or involves travel.

• More money or increase in finances in general.

• More things or subjects to learn and achieve proficiency in.

Timings : Sooner than you expect. (Likely Gemini season for some)

Picture 3

You don't really shy away from challenges but certain incidents have made you question your faith and entire belief systems, later people and lastly yourself. You're trying to find a middle ground for yourself and also wondering how many transformations till your quiet breakdowns stop. Some of you really want to leave, something that brought you comfort is only bringing you anxiety now and giving you extreme mood swings. It seems as though you're wondering if any efforts you're putting into what you want is even worth it. Quiet your mind for some time. Even for a minute. Till the minutes eventually pass and your mind feels quiet for once. It's okay to have a head full of no thoughts at times. You're manifesting -

• Emotional regulation.

• Better health.

• Luck and expansion.

• Knowledge that you can put into use.

• For some better relationship with a maternal figure or their parents.

• Sudden wealth or unexpected wealth or property.

• Protection from distrustful and downright vindictive energy.

• Success, recognition and enjoying the fruits of your labour. Succeeding in anything you've been wanting to manifest for yourself actually. No extra steps or rules and regulations to follow. Simply acceptance.

Timings: Within 2 months.

[bestalbertcamuslover]

Bad at Remembering Dates

↳ Masterlist

︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶୨୧︶︶⊹︶︶⊹︶︶

✯ pairing:  Jenson Button x Wife!Reader ✯

✯ content warnings: none✯

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The computer cast a faint light over her face as she kept working, even though it was past midnight. She had a major project going on at work, and since some unexpected complications had arisen, she had to sacrifice some of her sleep to meet the deadline.

“Love, you’re still awake?” Jenson murmured, sleepy, as he approached the living room. He leaned against the doorframe, arms crossed, a faint smile tugging at the corner of his lips despite the concern in his eyes. “You said you’d be in bed an hour ago,” he reminded her softly. “I told you I’d give you some time, but here we are.”

She sighed, her fingers pausing on the keyboard. “I know, I know. I just got caught up again. This is crunch time.”

He pushed off the doorframe and walked toward her, his footsteps silent on the carpeted floor. “Love, I get it. I know this project’s important, and I know you’re doing everything you can to make it perfect. But you promised you’d rest, and it’s past midnight.” His voice held no anger, just gentle insistence.

“I’ll be fine,” she said, though the bags under her eyes and the sluggishness in her movements betrayed her words.

Jenson crouched beside her chair, his eyes level with hers now. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. “You’re not fine. You’re running on fumes, and I don’t want you burning yourself out over this.” His thumb brushed lightly across her skin. “Please, just come to bed. The project will still be here in the morning.”

“Just thirty more minutes?” she tried, offering him a small, hopeful smile.

He shook his head with a soft laugh. “Not this time. Come on.” Standing up, he extended a hand to her, his expression expectant but kind. “I’ll make you tea in the morning if that helps seal the deal.”

Her lips twitched in a reluctant smile. “Fine, you win,” she said, sliding her hand into his. As he pulled her up, she felt a warmth in her chest—a sense that he always had her back, even when she pushed herself too hard.

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders, guiding her toward their bedroom. “You’re amazing, you know that?” he murmured as they walked. “But even superheroes need sleep.”

She laughed softly, leaning into his side. “Thanks for looking out for me.”

“Always,” he replied, pressing a kiss to her temple.

She was deeply caught up in this project; she had even started counting time based on how many days remained until the deadline. Of course, that wasn’t the best way to keep track—especially since she was terrible at remembering dates.

It was January 19th, but for her, it was thirteen days until the project deadline. She had woken up very early to get some things ready before work. She left while Jenson was still sleeping. Lucky him, she thought.

Another hectic day at work went by—endless typing, too many meetings and discussions—but she definitely loved her job. She worked extra hours, as most of her coworkers did, with the deadline looming and the office buzzing with activity. The drive back home was routine: some traffic—not just on the roads, but in her mind as well—as she kept searching for solutions to the problems that had arisen as the project progressed.

The front door clicked softly as she pushed it open, stepping inside with a quiet sigh. She was finally home. The house smelled faintly of fresh coffee, though the mug she’d left on the kitchen counter earlier was long gone. Jenson was sitting on the couch in the living room, a comfortable and familiar sight—one of the few things that had remained steady in her frantic days.

He looked up as the door closed behind her, his eyes lighting up with a warm smile despite his obvious fatigue.

“Hey, love. Long day?” Jenson’s voice had a playful edge, as if he was amused by the way she had been running on fumes lately.

“Can’t even describe it,” she murmured, leaning against the door for a moment as she closed her eyes, savoring the calm of being home. “Another twelve-hour grind. But I’m almost there,” she added with a tired smile, still carrying the weight of her project. “Thirteen days until the deadline, so… I guess I’m just counting down the hours now.”

Jenson chuckled lightly, his gaze softening as he watched her. “I know you’re all in on this project, but you promised you’d come to bed early tonight, remember?”

She nodded, her eyes darting briefly to the clock on the wall. “I know, I know,” she sighed. “But there’s so much to do. I—”

“Shh,” he said, patting the seat next to him on the couch. “Come here. Just for a minute. Relax.”

She reluctantly took off her shoes and walked over, slumping down beside him. As she sank into the couch, he casually leaned over and kissed the top of her head. “You deserve a break,” he said softly, yet there was mischief in his voice for a reason she had not realized yet.

The exhaustion weighed down on her, but she felt a comfort as she leaned on him. The hum of the TV in the background was oddly soothing, even though she could hardly focus on it. She just wanted to close her eyes for a moment and let everything go.

After a few minutes, Jenson stretched and pulled out his phone from his pocket. He glanced at the screen, and without a word, he set it down on the coffee table.

“Your phone buzzing again?” she murmured.

“Yeah, I got a message from the guys about dinner tomorrow,” he lied, grinning slightly, since it was another “happy birthday” message. 

She nodded absentmindedly, but as she reached for her phone to check a work email, a message from the restaurant popped up on her screen.

“Reminder: Your reservation for dinner is tonight, January 19th, at 8:00 PM. We’re looking forward to hosting you!”

Her heart skipped a beat as she stared at the message, her mind slowly connecting the dots. She froze for a moment, the realization hitting her like a wave. January 19th... Jenson’s birthday.

She turned to look at him, panic starting to bubble up. “Wait. Jenson... is it really?” Her voice trailed off as the realization sank in. The reservation! The dinner!

Jenson grinned, clearly aware of what was happening. “You just remembered, didn’t you?”

Her eyes widened, mortified. “I—I’m the worst! I didn’t even wish you a happy birthday this morning. And here I am, all caught up in my project, completely forgetting about—”

He interrupted her with a soft laugh, his hand finding hers and squeezing gently. “It’s okay. I knew it was coming,” he teased. “You’ve been counting down the days until that project’s deadline, so I figured my birthday didn’t stand a chance in your mind.”

“But I had that reservation! I made it months ago, and I forgot!” she exclaimed, feeling the guilt rise. “How could I forget? I must be the worst wife ever.”

Jenson leaned in, brushing a loose strand of hair from her face, his expression affectionate. “Love, I’m not upset. You’ve been buried in work, and I know how important this project is to you. But you did remember—right at the perfect time.”

She gave him a sheepish smile, still feeling the weight of the forgotten date. “You’re too understanding. Seriously, I feel terrible.”

“It’s fine, love,” he said, sitting up and glancing at the clock. “It’s still my birthday. And we can still make it to that dinner.”

Her eyes widened in surprise. “You’re serious?”

“Of course,” he said, giving her an affectionate nudge. “Go change, and we’ll make it.”

Her guilt eased as she stood, grateful for his patience. “Okay, okay. I’ll make it up to you tonight, I promise.”

Jenson grinned. “I’m sure you will. Now hurry up before we’re late.”

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✯ authors note: English is not my first language and I hope you liked it <3

[homunculus-argument]

Some people are oddly offended by the idea that you can naturally assume that if something feels like it should be easy to do, but nobody is doing it, then one can assume that it does not work, and that it isn't necessary to try it out for yourself to verify this. I have no problem looking at a supposedly obvious solution and going "if I can think of this, then surely someone smarter than me has already done so, too. And if someone smarter than me has not managed to do it, then neither will I. And I know that they did not succeed in it, because otherwise everyone would be doing it."

I think the people who mainly get offended by me saying "no, that won't work, because if it worked, it would be widespread" are the ones who don't believe that there are people smarter than themselves. If they have a genious solution that isn't already widely implemented, then obviously the only reason for that is because nobody else has been so smart before. And in cases where the solution is possible to execute, but it often goes terribly wrong even in the hands of experts with experience, then naturally that's a skill issue on them.

And they don't like it when I aknowledge that yes, technically speaking it could be possible to produce a home grown substitute for one of my three daily regular medications while living on an off-grid homestead. But the ingredients can't be grown at home nor sourced from nature, the process is complicated and highly risky even in experienced hands, and this kind of things are not only outside of my sphere of knowledge, but also far out of my comfort zone.

And ultimately, it simply wouldn't be very cottagecore to own and operate a meth lab.

[oddyseye]

Mutiny.

Odysseus and Eurylochus have such a complicated relationship and everyone always dumbs it down to wrong one thing or another. It’s complicated. It’s layered. It’s tragic. And it’s way more than just an argument over cows. Mutiny isn’t just about hunger or leadership — it’s about loyalty, exhaustion, and two men who want the same thing but can’t see eye-to-eye on how to get there. Eurylochus doesn’t really trust the guy anymore. He’s fed up with Odysseus being this godly figure that can do no wrong, while the crew is dying left and right. Every time he calls Odysseus “Ody”, it’s like this little jab. He’s trying to strip away the whole kingly aura that Odysseus has due to this lack of trust after Scylla. Eurylochus still has a sense of duty and respect for him as the leader, but you can feel the frustration in his voice. He’s just done with the whole “heroic” persona Odysseus has created for himself. Like, Eury is the guy who sees the crew as actual people. He’s the approachable one — the “buddy” that the crew can rely on when things go wrong, while Odysseus is their king, the champion of Athena, and the guy who’s supposed to lead them to glory. But Eurylochus is done waiting for that glory. You can tell from how he keeps saying, “We’re never gonna get home,” that he’s already checked out emotionally. He doesn’t have faith in their survival anymore. To him, they’re already doomed, and he’s not just going to let them starve to death when there’s a solution right in front of him. The cows. Yeah, the cows are the tipping point. Eurylochus sees the cows as a desperate measure, and while everyone else is still hung up on the gods, Eurylochus is just like, “Look, we’re not making it home. At least if we eat these cows, we’ll die full.” And sure, everyone seems blind to the fact that killing Helios’ cows is basically a suicide mission, but that’s because they’re still stuck in this idea of “respect the gods, and they’ll reward you.” Eurylochus, though? He’s not playing that game anymore. He knows they’re screwed, so at least with the cows, he can take control of the situation. Maybe if they’re gonna die, they can go out on their own terms, at least with their bellies full.

Now, Odysseus. This guy is like the living embodiment of stubbornness. You can see he is a student of Athena in that aspect lol. He can’t see it. He can’t admit they’re already beyond saving, and he’s too proud to make the hard call. Maybe it’s the godly influence talking, or maybe it’s just Odysseus being too obsessed with his own destiny, but he refuses to see that he doomed them. He wanted to hold onto the last shred of hope — that somehow, they’d make it out. But Eurylochus sees past that. He’s not naive. He’s not going to just keep playing the hero's game. His frustration with Odysseus has been building for a while, and it finally erupts when Odysseus sacrifices six men for his own pride and stubbornness. The key to this whole confrontation is that Eurylochus isn’t just questioning Odysseus’ decisions. He’s questioning his humanity. There’s this raw edge to Eurylochus’ anger. He can’t understand how someone who claims to be a hero could so coldly lead the crew into situations where they keep dying. And at the same time, Odysseus doesn’t have the capacity to understand Eurylochus’ perspective.

As the mutiny shows, he’s not leading the crew as a man anymore. And that’s the core of the tension between these two.

The part where Eurylochus directly challenges Odysseus is when the mutiny finally feels real. Eurylochus’ words cut deep.

“You miss your wife so bad, you'd trade the lives of your own crew?!’’

That’s an accusation, a personal attack. He’s accusing Odysseus of putting his own desires above the lives of his men, of wanting to go home so badly that he's willing to make reckless decisions. Eurylochus knows exactly what’s going on. Odysseus is so obsessed with the idea of getting home, so attached to the end of the journey, that he forgets the responsibility he has to his crew. He’s willing to sacrifice them in the pursuit of that dream.

Eurylochus is the one with enough clarity to call out the emperor’s new clothes. He’s not just upset about the deaths of their comrades. He’s angry because he sees Odysseus as a man who is no longer a leader but a symbol — and symbols don’t save people. They don’t keep the crew alive. Up until now, Odysseus has been their guide, their protector, and their hope. But in that one instant, he becomes just another man — just a man who’s lost his way, and more importantly, someone who has lost the trust of his men. This moment is about more than just the confrontation. It’s about the growing realization that Odysseus isn’t the infallible hero they thought he was. It’s Eurylochus realizing that following Odysseus blindly is no longer an option because the man they’re following doesn’t have a clue how to get them out of the mess they are in.

At the end of it all, Eurylochus and Odysseus are no longer two men working together for a common goal. They’re two men at odds, and Eury's willing to go to extreme lengths — betrayal, mutiny, anything — to take control of the situation. This mutiny is his last stand, his way of saying, "I’m not going to die because of your stubbornness. I’m taking matters into my own hands."

It’s heartbreaking, too, because Eurylochus isn’t doing this out of spite. He’s doing it because, in his mind, it's the only way to ensure that at least some of them will survive.Eurylochus wouldn’t have gone that far if he didn’t care. It’s so easy to say he’s just turning on Odysseus, but this is a guy who, for years, followed Odysseus into every battle, every insane godly encounter, every impossible situation. They were in this together — not just captain and crew, but real partners. How do you reconcile the fact that the person you once followed into battle — the person you trusted with your life — is now the reason your crew is dying, one by one?

The whole dynamic between Eurylochus and Odysseus is like this tragic love story in its own right. They weren’t just captain and subordinate. They loved each other, in a way, and when that love got tangled up with responsibility, fate, and the unrelenting pressure of survival, it destroyed them. Don't bash me btw this is not a ship post, I just said think their relationship reminds me of a certain couple but this isn't what I came here to talk about.

This wasn’t about “sides.” It wasn’t about who was right or wrong — it was about two men who tried to make it, who had fought side by side for years, and then found themselves unable to reconcile the two parts of themselves that were pulling them in opposite directions. And that’s where the real sadness is: Eurylochus and Odysseus were so close — so damn close — and it all fell apart because neither of them could face the truth of how broken they both were.

It’s the most tragic thing.

[keyotosprompts]

not easy to please ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

alternatives to popular tropes

⇴ siblings's worst enemy

they're your sibling's enemy, so of course they're yours too. they're despicable and you seriously want them dead. luckily for you, the feeling's mutual.

⇴ struggling ceo and their know-it-all office worker

how did this mf become the ceo of one of the most progressive countries in the world?? they're clueless and you're the one that has to fix all their mistakes. you seriously don't get paid enough for this (unless they can come up with another way to pay you).

⇴ marriage of inconvenience

what happens in vegas stays in vegas. except when you've signed an official marriage contract, and everything is so much more complicated before. now this person is stuck with you until you can divorce! (or will you?)

⇴ forbidden hate

your parents absolutely adore the idea of the two of you together. they have wedding pinterest boards, future plans, and baby names for the two of you. only one thing: you two kinda hate each other, and hell would have to freeze over before you'd ever get with them.

⇴ no more second chances

sorry dude! f'ed up really bad the first time, and now you're not giving anymore chances, and your ex has to deal with the consequences. one problem: they can't deal with the consequences bc they're literally in love with you. hm. just what will this person do to get you back?

⇴ not so secret identity

everyone knows who they are. not even the old mask and hat trick could prevent people from identifying them. and it's fine–they absolutely bask in the fame. one problem though: they're a constant target to the entire world. perfect!

⇴ separated from each other

they never get any alone time. alone together in an elevator? too bad, a party of ten just showed up, pushing the two of you on the opposite side of the elevator. finally alone at home? nope! unfortunately, your friends make a surprise visit! oh how will you two ever get past this?

⇴ "you deserved it."

a normal person would've asked "who did this to you?" except your bond is not normal. not in the slightest. i mean seriously, what does this person want from you?

⇴ "i can't have you, so i'll let someone else take my place."

they know that they're not good enough for you, and that you deserve someone better than them. so, they choose to let you go, and hope that someone else can make your world light up like they used to

⇴ the one that is still here

everywhere you go, this person is there. whether it's physically, mentally, or spiritually, everything ties back to them. everything reminds you of them. you couldn't even escape if you tried.

⇴ playboy but he's actually a nerd that cannot get play

he's gorgeous–he's the most attractive man you think you've ever seen in your life. you think he's probably got it all–girls or boys coming up to him nonstop. only, that's not true in the slightest. somehow, he's managed to fumble every single time.

⇴ nobody wants the bad boy

he's troubled. there are rumors of him starting fights 24/7, and he lives in a bad area. he could really fuck someone up. nobody wants him.

⇴ "you must be delusional"

lovers that know that they're in love with each other, but when admitting it to their friends, they shut down their feelings.

⇴ loving someone to save them

none of that breaking up nonsense. love is power. their love and support causes you to be stronger than ever. knowing that there's love out there gives you a reason to keep on going. love saves you.

⇴ too smart to live

you've outdone yourself this time. bypassed every guard, rule, and law without anyone catching you. so, of course, there's only one solution here: to eliminate you.

⇴ different worlds (revised)

you grew up poor while they grew up rich. now, in the present, you are the more successful one, while they are struggling to get their life together. now, you must help the one who used to be in your current position, and fix things together.

⇴ one-sided blind date

rule one of having a blind date: you should not know who you're meeting. well, too late! you sneaked a peek at your friend's phone and found out who you'll be seeing soon. now, you're scrambling to get out of this date because you know exactly who it is.

[ohnoyuno]

One step at a time.

Pairing: jung jaehyun x female reader Genre: angst, established relationship Warnings: emotional distress, discussions of miscarriages, fertility issues Word Count: 2615

Summary: Jaehyun and Y/N’s love is tested when a medical challenge brings up old wounds. As they navigate their emotions and confront fears of loss, will they find a way back to each other through the pain and heartache?

Disclaimer: I am aware that the portrayal of fertility, IUDs, and miscarriages in this context is not medically accurate or representative of real-life experiences.

Y/N and Jaehyun had always been practical, understanding that their complicated lives, with his idol career, her unpredictable health, and the uncertainty of the future, made starting a family a difficult prospect for them. 

Despite using birth control, Y/N’s uncommon condition caused contraceptives to fail. She had always known that pregnancy was a possibility, but it came with its own heartbreaking pattern—miscarriages.

Her health made it difficult for her to carry a pregnancy to term, as she was prone to ectopic pregnancies, resulting in a miscarriage each time. This pattern not only shattered her hope but also took a toll on her heart and body. No matter how much she tried to prevent it, her condition meant that even a successful pregnancy would come with significant risks.

She had tried everything to avoid it, but it seemed the universe had other plans. The doctors had offered little in terms of a solution, and the only option left was the IUD—a chance at some peace, to finally prevent the pregnancies that led to such painful endings. But there was a catch. The IUD could give her the security she needed, but it also carried the devastating truth that it would make it harder for her to conceive naturally in the future, should she ever want to.

It was a decision she had been wrestling with for months. It wasn’t a choice she wanted to make, but it felt like the only way to protect herself, to avoid the possibility of more heartbreak. And yet, the thought of never being able to have children when the time was right, when she and Jaehyun were ready to start a family, haunted her. How could she make a decision that could potentially rob her of a future they had once dreamed about?

Then came Jaehyun’s military enlistment, a turning point neither of them had anticipated. His enlistment was brought forward, and everything changed. The idea of a break had always been there, something they knew was coming, but neither was prepared for the magnitude of it. They were still living in their shared apartment, but the distance between them felt palpable. They had decided to take a break—not a clean break, but one that left space for doubt, confusion, and unspoken emotions.

Even though they were no longer officially together, their lives remained intertwined. They lived in separate rooms, yet still shared a home. Jaehyun would return during his military leave, and there were nights when the boundaries they had tried to set between them blurred. In those moments, they found themselves back in each other’s arms, knowing they weren’t supposed to, but unable to stop the pull they had toward each other. It wasn’t easy, but it was their reality.

Y/N thought about it all, about Jaehyun, about the future, about the pain of every miscarriage. And with the weight of it all, she came to a decision that it was time to get the IUD. Their relationship was no longer the same, and with Jaehyun away for his military service, it felt like the right moment. There were too many uncertainties ahead, and this, at least, would provide her with some stability.

She knew that the future wasn’t guaranteed. She didn’t know if she would ever be able to have children naturally, or if Jaehyun and she would ever be able to come back to each other in the way they once had. But for now, this was the decision she had to make. The IUD might offer protection, but it also sealed her fate in a way of accepting that, for now, she was alone in making these choices, in navigating her body and her future without the certainty of the man she once believed she would build it all with.

Jaehyun happened to be back home the weekend before Y/N’s appointment on Monday. She knew it was ultimately her choice, but for some reason, she felt like Jaehyun needed to know. So, the night before her appointment, she told him. 

Jaehyun was seated up against his bed frame reading a book when y/n knocked on the door. “Hey, sorry to disturb but I need to tell you something.”

Jaehyun looked up, setting his book aside as he took in the sight of her standing at the doorway. There was a familiar weight in Y/N’s voice, one he recognized all too well. “No, no, it’s okay. Please, come in. What is it?”

Y/N hesitated for a second before stepping inside. She moved towards his bed, sitting on the edge with a careful distance between them. She inhaled deeply before speaking. “I’m going to the gynae tomorrow… to get an IUD put in.”

Jaehyun felt his breath hitch. He swallowed thickly before responding.“Wait? That means?” He kept his voice even, but the sinking feeling in his stomach betrayed him.

“Yes, like what they said previously…” she murmured, fingers twisting in her lap. “there will only be a 40% chance for me to conceive naturally in the future.”

A suffocating silence filled the room. Jaehyun’s hands curled into fists on his lap as he processed her words. “If I hadn’t come back this weekend” he finally said, his voice quieter now, “were you only going to tell me after you’d done it?”

She let out a sharp exhale. “Please don’t make this about yourself.”

Jaehyun ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in his expression. “Y/N, we promised to build a family together. Don’t you want that with me anymore?”

His words stung, and he knew it. Y/N let out a bitter chuckle. “Jae, we are not even together anymore. I don’t even know why I’m here telling you this when I don’t even need to.”

“No.” His voice was firm. “Cancel the appointment. I do not approve of this.”

She stared at him in disbelief before standing up. “You do know you don’t have a say in this.” Y/N fought back. 

Jaehyun stood too, his voice desperate now. “We are only on a break, Y/N. We made promises. We can’t say for the future.”

Y/N shook her head, her chest rising and falling rapidly. “I can’t believe you right now.” Her voice wavered, but her resolve didn’t. “Will you stop being so selfish? Have you thought about how I’ve gone through five miscarriages? Five, Jaehyun.”

His face paled. The mention of it alone felt like a blade through his chest.

“You know how it was.” she continued, her voice breaking. “I really do not want to have to go through that ever again.”

Y/N blinked away her tears before turning on her heel and walking out the door before Jaehyun could say anything.

Jaehyun sat frozen, the weight of Y/N’s words pressing down. Five miscarriages. He had been there for every single one, watching helplessly as Y/N’s hope shattered each time. The pain in her voice was something he couldn’t ignore, yet a part of him couldn’t let go of the future they had envisioned together.  

He sprang up from the bed and rushed out of his room, catching up to Y/N just as she was reaching for her bedroom door. “Y/N wait, wait” he pleaded, grabbing her wrist gently. “Please, don’t walk away like this.”

Y/N sighed, turning to face him, her expression unreadable. “What do you want me to say, Jaehyun? That I’ll change my mind? That I’ll put myself through that pain again just because we made promises when we thought things would be different?”

“I just…” He hesitated, his grip loosening. “I don’t want you to think you’re alone in this.”  

She turned to face him then, her eyes filled with exhaustion. “Alone? Jaehyun, I was alone. Every single time.” Her voice wavered, but she held his gaze. “You were there, but you didn’t feel it the way I did. I was the one lying in hospital beds, the one waking up in the middle of the night feeling empty, the one who had to pretend to be okay while my body reminded me of everything I lost.”  

Jaehyun clenched his jaw, his chest tightening with guilt. “I know I can’t fully understand what you went through,” he admitted. Jaehyun’s throat tightened. He wanted to tell her that he had suffered too, that every loss had broken him just as much. But it wasn’t the same, and he knew that. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t grieve, Y/N. It doesn’t mean I didn’t lose something too. I thought we were in this together,” he voice barely a whisper.  

Y/N sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I know, Jae. I know you hurt too. We were in this together. But I can’t keep putting myself through this, hoping for a different outcome every time.”

His hands dropped to his sides, his mind spinning with everything he wanted to say but couldn’t. He knew he had no right to dictate her choices, but the fear of losing the life they had dreamed of together terrified him. 

“So that’s it?” he asked, his voice tinged with desperation. “You’re just… giving up on us?”

Her expression softened, but there was a finality in her eyes that made his heart ache. “I’m not giving up on anything, Jaehyun. I’m choosing myself for once.”  

Jaehyun felt his heart drop. He wanted to fight, to say something, anything. To make her change her mind. But deep down, he knew this wasn’t a decision Y/N made out of anger or impulse. It was something she had thought about for a long time, something she needed.

He nodded slowly, swallowing the lump in his throat. “Okay,” he murmured, barely able to get the word out.

Y/N gave him a small, sad smile before turning toward her bedroom door. She hesitated for just a moment, as if waiting for him to stop her one last time. Finally, she whispered, “Good night, Jaehyun.”

But when he said nothing, when he made no move to reach for her, she exhaled softly, more to herself than to him, before stepping inside and closing the door behind her.

Jaehyun stood there, staring at the closed door, feeling like the woman he had loved and still loved, had somehow slipped through his fingers again.

The next morning. 

Jaehyun pushed himself out of bed, the absence of the usual noise of their shared mornings hanging in the air. His footsteps were quiet as he made his way into the kitchen, where he saw Y/N sitting by the window, sipping her tea, her gaze fixed on the quiet world outside.

“Morning,” Jaehyun said awkwardly, his voice still thick with sleep.

Y/N looked up, her eyes softening slightly when she saw him, but there was a hint of tension still there, like a thread pulling between them that neither had quite figured out how to untangle. “Oh, hey,” she replied, her tone easy but her attention still half on her tea. “Weren’t you supposed to head back to the barracks an hour ago?”

Jaehyun shuffled closer, his hands slipping into the pockets of his sweatshirt. “I’ve requested for another day off,” he said, his voice softer than usual. “I… I want to go with you. To your appointment.”

She turned slightly, eyeing him with a mix of surprise and frustration. “Jaehyun, you don’t have to do this.”

“I want to.” he replied simply, stepping further into the kitchen. He leaned against the counter, watching her. “I know you don’t need me there, but I want to be.”

Y/N sighed, her attention shifting back to the steaming mug of tea in her hands. “Jae… this isn’t something you can fix by just showing up.”

“I know,” he admitted, his voice soft. “But you really shouldn’t be by yourself today.”

Y/N didn’t speak for a moment, as if weighing the decision in her mind. Jaehyun waited, studying the way her shoulders tensed, the way she hesitated before speaking.

Finally, she exhaled, her shoulders dropping slightly. “Jaehyun, I know you care. But you can’t just come back and pretend like everything’s fine.”

Jaehyun flinched at her words, though they weren’t harsh. They were just the truth, a truth they had both been dancing around. “I’m not pretending,” he said quietly, taking another step toward her. “I know things are different now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t still care. I can’t just leave it like this. I don’t want you to go through it alone.”

Y/N didn’t respond right away. Instead, she stared at her cup, tracing the rim absently with her finger.

“You don’t have to fix everything, Jae,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “Some things can’t be fixed. You’ve been gone for so long, and we’re just… we’re just not the same anymore. Also, I’ve been doing things alone for a while now.” she said finally, “I had to learn how to be okay without you.”

Jaehyun swallowed hard. He knew that of course, he did. He had left, after all. And though it wasn’t by choice, though he had tried to hold on to her before he enlisted, the distance between them had grown too wide.

Jaehyun’s chest tightened. He could feel the weight of the words, could feel them like a physical presence, pressing down on him. “I don’t need it to be the same. I just want to be here, with you, for whatever it is we have now. I regret leaving things the way I did,” he confessed. “I thought, maybe after my service, we could figure things out. But now it feels like…” He trailed off, unsure how to put the ache in his chest into words.

Y/N’s hands paused, her grip tightening around the mug. Her eyes flickered up to meet his, her gaze steady but distant. “You don’t get to regret something that you walked away from. I didn’t get to choose when I had to live without you. And now you want to come back and make it right, but it’s not that simple, Jaehyun.”

Jaehyun’s heart sank, her words cutting deeper than he anticipated. He wanted to argue, to say that things were more than what she was making them seem to be. But he couldn’t. She was right. They weren’t the same anymore, and no matter how hard he tried, it wasn’t going to change overnight.

He stepped back, his voice barely above a whisper. “Even if we’re not the same, I still want to be by your side.”

Y/N’s eyes lifted to his again, her expression unreadable. “You really want to do this? After everything?”

Jaehyun nodded, his voice steady now. “I do.”

For a moment, the silence stretched between them like a chasm, both of them uncertain of the next step. 

Setting the cup down on the table, she said “Fine,” her voice gentle but firm. “You can come with me. But this doesn’t change anything, we can’t just pick up where we left off.”

He nodded, understanding the weight of her words. “I don’t need it to.” he said while stepping toward the table to sit down. “I just need you to know I’m here. For whatever it is we have now.”

Y/N gave him a small, almost imperceptible nod. “Let’s just get through today, okay. No promises, no expectations.”

Jaehyun’s chest tightened, but he didn’t protest. Today was all they could handle, and maybe that was enough for now. “Okay,” he murmured. “Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

The heaviness of everything they’d been through clung to the air, but for a moment, there was a quiet understanding between them. For now, though, the only thing that mattered was that he was here. And he wasn’t leaving, not just yet.

Masterlist

[mercy-burning]

(3) the trilogy. || THE DOCTOR.

in which the doctor finds the landlord's favorite missing trilogy of books on a quiet, snowy day... content: strong language, allusions to sex, kissing, fade to black fingering) word count: 3.6k

series masterlist | main masterlist

NOTE: Lots of fun stuff to come with these two soon! They're my favorite <3

———

On the days where Spencer is snowed inside, the perfect remedy should be a couple of books by the fireplace, but the fireplace is quite frankly impossible to keep up with (he never knows how much wood he actually needs and despite how many times he's tried, he swears the matchbook he has is faulty. It never starts.) And, he's read through all of the books he brought with him. Three times each.

The library is an option on a normal day, but the snowfall is so extreme that Stanton had called his house earlier in the morning to inform him that everyone had been requested to hold off on getting sick or injured until the Doctor was safe to leave his home. Sardinia is locked down for the day, he went on to explain, until the crew he'd called in to plow the roads with their heavy and capable machinery could tend to them.

For a town as small as this one, Spencer had just assumed everyone would have figured out how to manage heavy snow without calling in reinforcements. It's human nature, after all, to adapt to your surroundings and make do with what you have if not to develop a solution.

And then he looked outside, and he understood. He couldn't even see white. It was gray—the most snow he'd ever seen, caking every window and blocking him inside.

He spent a solid two hours scraping what he could off the windows and away from the door, until he created a pocket of light from the window above the couch and gave up on the rest. The wind at least had died down, the only noise available to him being his breathing and the creaks of the floor as he walked around. The sun was bright and it was above freezing, so he figured that should help melt what little bit he couldn't manage to scrape away. He showered, fought with the fireplace for another twenty-minutes out of pure boredom, and then gave up on that, too, thankful that the house had electric heating and the fireplace was merely for aesthetic purposes if nothing else.

And now, he sits on the couch, mindlessly thumbing through a book he's already read and wishing he had something else to keep him busy. Boredom only leads to wandering thoughts, and whenever he allows them to, they veer off into the inevitable direction of his landlord. Which only makes him more restless.

The very moment her beautiful, swollen and kissed-out lips enter the periphery of his brain, Spencer pushes himself off the couch and forces his legs to do the wandering instead. He doesn't even care where, he just needs to walk.

She'd been avoiding him since then—until she came to visit to have her stitches removed, and then she avoided him again. Their meeting then had been professional and straightforward, she jokingly handed him a ten-dollar bill for his trouble, and then she went home. He'd debated bringing up the kiss, maybe apologizing, but he also didn't want to risk poking the bear when, in the moment, the bear seemed relatively mollified. It was safe to assume they could silently move past it and remain civil, if not friendly, so that's what he did. He never brought it up, and they simply existed in each others' lives as background characters. No harm, no foul.

It admittedly saddens him a little, that familiar glorious fire in his body slowly dying out day by day without her spark to feed it, but... it's also safe. Given his temporary arrangement, that is exactly what he needs; Zero complications.

Still, it hadn't completely prevented his thoughts from wandering... He can't help it.

But damn it, he tries so hard.

Like now, as his feet pace back and forth along the hallway connecting his living room to the two little bedrooms on the opposite side of the cabin home. His eyes scan the oak paneling on the wall, finding it odd that one board is out farther than the others. It's not a vast difference, and to anyone walking down the hallway, it wouldn't stand out at all. But since his eyes are scanning everything with intent, something that small is impossible to unsee once it's been seen.

Spencer comes closer to inspect the wood, running his fingers along the grain when he feels the board shift a little. He presses harder, then tries with both hands to wiggle it out of place as he inspects the entire board from floor to ceiling.  Eventually, he notices that the nails holding it in place are extremely rusted and barely holding the board upright.

"She has to have a toolbox hidden in this place somewhere..." he ponders, turning to search.

After finding no luck in any of the cabinets, under the kitchen or bathroom sinks, or in the coat closet, he walks back to the guest bedroom and rummages through all the knitted blankets he's collected. For a while it's like he'd find one every time he entered a new area of the cabin that he hadn't explored. A few of them lay draped over the living room furniture now, but to keep the place organized to his liking, he just haphazardly folded and piled them into the guest bedroom closet, not thinking to see if there had been anything else in there.

Sure enough, once the shelves in there are completely clear of fabric, Spencer looks all the way on the highest one and can see a small pile of something shoved in the back. He reaches for it, hoping for something useful but finding only a stack of—

Books!

Not what he'd come in here for, but he isn't about to complain. Especially since he'd really just been so bored that he went in search of a tool box to fix the most negligible problem this house could possibly have.

He flips one over and sees the words, "Agent of Seduction," embossed over a couple in embrace. There are two more, "Agent of Passion," and, "Agent of Retribution."  Their covers are worn and well-loved, pages yellowed and creased, the spines barely readable. As he quickly fans through the pages, expelling the dust from its home between them, he wonders how there are even pages left. It looks (and smells, to be quite frank) like it should be falling apart at the seams.

It doesn't look like what he'd typically reach for, but... It's new. And since he really has nothing else to do...

Spencer sits down on the floor of the closet, nestled between piles of blankets, and opens to the first page of Agent of Seduction.

———

Dear Mom,

Today I might have stumbled onto the scariest story I've ever read. Not because it contains ghosts or horrors so intense that it gives you nightmares, but because of how accurately one major aspect parallels my current situation, as if I don't already feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone.

Don't get me wrong, it isn't entirely believable, especially where the crime-solving aspects are concerned. In fact, it seems like the author had merely watched something on TV and thought, "That doesn't look too hard to make up!" and thus, "Agent of Seduction" was born...

However, I'd be lying if I said I didn't get spooked by just about everything else.

The basic premise is that FBI Agent Samuel Stern must go into hiding to protect his identity from one of the most dangerous criminals the Bureau has ever encountered. In creating this brand new life for himself, he meets a woman named Rachel West, who he falls in love with. She's feisty and quick-witted, and when Samuel's past comes straight towards them like a freight train, she refuses to jump out of the way (much to Samuel's annoyance). Their relationship is built solely on fire—mutual attraction and nothing else—but while they're on the run together throughout the three books, they learn to open up and be vulnerable in a way that only enriches their feelings and the desire to truly love and be loved in return.

By now, you already know about my very own Rachel West, my landlord and the woman I can't stop thinking about... A lot of Samuel's inner monologue about her was extremely close to, if not exactly the same as, my inner monologue about Y/N. At one point near the end of the second book, Rachel gets kidnapped, and the final installment follows Samuel's journey to find her and finally exact his revenge on the criminal who has taken everything from him.

Inevitably, this journey leads Samuel to the grand realization that he's in love with Rachel, and after they finally reunite, the two of them live happily ever after.

Unfortunately, it was rather riveting.

Given the obvious major parallel here, you can also probably understand why it's spooked me. The details behind Samuel's "vacation" aren't necessarily the same as my own, but the mere fact that he works for the FBI and is protecting his identity far away from home... That in and of itself is far too much of a coincidence.

I know it's fiction. I know that real life is different from Samuel's... But I saw something in his story and in his relationship with Rachel that filled that hole of misunderstanding deep in my gut, and while I enjoyed myself for the most part, I also, unfortunately, have come to realize that I can never let myself pursue the fire and fall in love with Y/N.

I won't let her be tainted by my real life. Because if evil does, somehow, penetrate the snowy, magical borders of Sardinia and dig its claws into the purity within, there's no telling what I would do.

I can't let it happen.

———

Y/N loves snow days. Surprisingly, Sardinia doesn't see a whole lot of them— not like this anyway. It's rare that the entire town is on standby, but on the occasion that it is, she locks herself away on the back porch and watches the snow fall through the glass. It's cold, but she doesn't mind. She prefers it— hasn't known anything else, nor has she ever longed to.

The sun has started to set, and with the promise of oven-ready lasagna in just a couple of minutes, there isn't anything that could possibly dampen her perfect Sunday.

She only wishes she could figure out where she left her favorite trilogy. On snow days like these, especially back when she was in Junior High (the act of hiding them from her grandmother making the lure of the story even better, of course), reading Agent of Seduction was her favorite pastime. She'd read the entire trilogy back-to-back at least twenty times by this point, so she probably could have had it memorized. In fact, there are scenes that she has memorized, though nothing ever compares to reading them word for word.

At one point a few years ago, she'd accused her grandmother of stealing and selling them, though the woman denied it with a howling laugh. "I never gave a shit about what you read. Hell, if only you knew some of the books I hid from my mother when I was a teenager..."

At the thought of her grandmother, Y/N sighs, wishing she'd had the courage to ask her about them. The memory of cringing and quickly changing the subject is standard and funny, sure, but she hadn't known there wouldn't be much time left to even think about asking those questions.

Now, she doesn't have her grandmother or her favorite trilogy, and all she's left with is an emptiness that she hopes soon to fill with noodles and cheese.

Instead of the oven chime, three loud knocks sound at the front door, jolting her out of her reverie, and Y/N sighs again.

So much for a perfect Sunday...

Who the hell could possibly be knocking on her door today? The whole town is on lockdown... Only an idiot would be brave enough to—

"Doctor?"

Spencer's figure, sure enough, stands before her in a backdrop of golden, glittering white. His coat is caked in snow and he seems to be drowning in layers and layers of scarves, a plastic bag hanging from his hand as he manages a stiff smile; He's freezing.

"What the hell are you doing here? Don't you know the entire town is o—"

"On lockdown, yes. I know. But I brought you something."

Her instincts are telling her to usher him inside, but there's a fear that freezes her instead. Once she lets him inside on a snow day, there's no telling how long he'll stay. And those are consequences she would rather not discover today.

"Oh?" is all she can manage.

Spencer holds the bag out and she takes it. "I found these in your—er, my closet. I don't know if they belonged to you or not, but I figured it was a safe bet since it was your house... Anyway, I just... I thought I'd return them."

Opening the bag, hearing him explain, and seeing the familiar tattered cover of her favorite book all at once is like a fever dream. She almost can't believe it. In a whirlwind of emotions, she grabs the doctor by the jacket sleeve and tugs him inside without a sound, and he stumbles through the door with a start.

"What's wrong?"

"You're a fucking wizard."

"Excuse me?"

Her shaking hands gently retrieve the paperbacks from the plastic as he shuts the door behind him. She doesn't even care that he's technically been invited inside now.

Unbeknownst to her, as she fans through the pages just as he had when he found them, the sight brings a gentle smile to his lips.

"I was just thinking about these books a few minutes ago... I used to read them every snow day, over and over again to keep my mind occupied..." Then she laughs, shaking her head. "I thought I'd lost them for good. They were in your closet?"

"Mhm. Guest bedroom, all the way on the top shelf, in the back. I was looking for some blankets, a—"

"You didn't read them, did you?"

Her head snaps up and Spencer blinks at her for a moment before carefully answering, "No."

Something about it feels off to her. They stare at each other now, and suddenly she realizes the gravity of the situation, which is that he stands in her house, claiming not to have read her favorite books (which are sexually explicit in nature), even though his face clearly claims otherwise. He had brought them to her house during a weather lockdown of all days, right after she'd just been thinking about them, and she felt so grateful in the moment that the thought of kissing him on the mouth seemed like the perfect gesture of gratitude.

Obviously, there is only one outcome.

He needs to leave, now, before she does something stupid.

"You probably wouldn't like them anyway."

"Oh?"

The beguiled look on his face practically begs for elaboration, but she's not currently in the business of giving him one.

"Thank you for bringing them to me," she says, hoping to suggest finality and get him out the door. "I haven't had an entire night with no obligations to sit down and read these books in years. I'm way overdue."

He only stares back at her, his gaze unwavering in intensity. If he's disappointed at all, he doesn't show it in the least. She's afraid he might try to banter or take off his jacket, but in the end, the doctor only gives her a gentle nod.

"You're welcome."

A flood of different sensations come racing through her body then, as Spencer turns to leave; Relief that he's relenting, excitement to finally have and hold her favorite story again, hot tension under the residual potency of his staring, and the nagging feeling that whatever wildfire the two of them seem to have made together isn't actually anywhere close to being extinguished.

The door opens, swallowing the doctor in a halo of light, and just before he closes it behind him, he calls over his shoulder, "Enjoy yourself, my dear."

The paperbacks suddenly feel heavy in her hands. She almost drops them to the ground, cursing his name.

------------------------

"Go away!"

Samuel's heart nearly shattered at the crack in her voice. He couldn't bear to witness his dear Rachel and her burning flame slowly dwindle under the suffocation of his true identity. His real life, once again, had attempted to take away everything he held dear to him, and he would be damned if he let it succeed this time.

"Rachel, please! You have to have to understand, I hated having to lie to you!"

"What the fuck did you just say to me?" she screeched, whipping around and snarling in his face. Alas, her fire remained, though it was unmistakably fueled by scorching pure rage and not the low-simmering wicked desire he's come to crave and adore. The pain in his heart worsened as she jabbed his chest, a fragile reminder of the new life she's breathed into him and the steady ache to protect it at all costs. "You're just like every other man I've ever met, except you might actually be worse! You put me in danger, and then spared me the details! And for what, so you could play the savior and 'protect' me? Huh?"

"You don't understand..."

"Then make me understand!"

The truth was that he couldn't let her go. No matter how annoyingly stubborn she proved herself to be, Samuel could not resist the warmth that settled in his bones when she touched him. He could not sit back and tell himself that she meant nothing to him when every time she quirked her eyebrow, he felt the overwhelming need to know everything she's ever felt. He wanted to know her. He wanted to experience her, in every single facet.

But he also didn't want his life to destroy her.

"It is killing me... Every day it kills me to know that the man who took everything from me and ruined my life is out there, and there's not a damn thing I can do about it... It kills me to be away from home, and it kills me to have to pretend like I'm not filled with unbridled rage every time I wake up... It kills me to know that I've let myself get attached to someone else, because it just means that's one more thing for him to destroy. But... God, Rachel, you've fucking set this fire in me that I can't put out. You're so sharp and strong and funny and beautiful, and you're so fucking stubborn... You're breaking down every defense I have, piece by piece, and for both of our safety, I should just let it go... But I can't..."

Her hardened stare hadn't eased, but her hands started a slow, gentle ascent over the planes of his stomach, up and up until they rested on his chest.

Samuel pressed one of her hands firmly to his heart. "Do you feel that, Rachel?"

"Your heartbeat?" she asked sarcastically through her teeth, her eyebrow quickly flinching upward.

"Yes. What you're feeling there is your work, and your work alone."

Unsurprisingly, Rachel snorted. Still, her fingers flexed over the fabric of his shirt and pulled him closer. "It's not healthy to put all that credit onto someone, you know. It could do irreparable damage."

It was true, but she was being snarky, as always. Which meant she must not have hated him as much as she was letting on.

Samuel took that as a good sign, deciding to allow himself to be cocky. He stared deep into her eyes and brought a hand to her throat, gently grazing it with the back of his knuckle. "So? Tell me I haven't already ruined you beyond repair..."

Rachel hummed and leaned into him, never one to turn down a challenge. "Says the man who just bared his soul out to me with tears in his eyes five seconds ago... Sounds like I'm the one who's ruined you."

Their breaths were so close together now, noses barely touching, Samuel didn't have time to process the look in her eyes before he said, "And now you understand," relenting and kissing her deeply.

She clutched his shirt so hard, he thought she might literally tear it to shreds in front of him as her devilish mouth battled him with a strength of its own. Rachel was fighting, even now, desperate to hold onto that power and control. And that was all fine and good, usually, but Samuel felt it in his bones that this time it was different.

Things between them now were different, and they always would be.

Whether he could put a name to that difference he didn't know, but he didn't care. He just wanted her to really truly understand how important she was to him, without the fight.

She had complete control over him, but she didn't need to prove it.

Samuel could do that on his own.

He backed her into the wall and brought her hands to her sides, inching languid, wet kisses down her jawline. Never in their time together had he been so gentle in control, so slow... Fire left no time for meticulous passion, only quick, sharp lust.

"What are we doing?" she breathed, rolling her body into him. "What is this?"

"I meant it, Rachel," Samuel vowed into her neck, his hand deftly undoing the button of her pants. "You're changing me... Giving me something to live for again..."

A soft gasp escaped her as he slid his hand smoothly down the front of her pants, and he reveled in the sound. The moment his fingers breached her entrance, she melted into him, crying out in a whimper.

"That's right," he sighed into her neck. "Enjoy yourself, my dear..."

[deadbaguette]

Crack AU treated seriously: Diomdes goes to Ithaca with a twist

So this would generally be your typical Diomedes going to Ithaca AU. Presumably after getting exiled (? Is there a better word for it?), instead of going to modern day Italy he goes to Ithaca under the impression that he’ll see Odysseus there. But, of course he doesn’t because The Odyssey is happening. The twist that makes NO SENSE and is just purely my want to see my platonic rarepair happen (Telemachus and Neoptolemus/Pyrrhus), and the twist is: for whatever reason, Neo is there with Diomedes. Don’t ask why because I could not explain to you a good reason to make this happen lmfao

Story elaborated below but it’s a little long be warned

I like the dynamic of Neoptolemus and Diomedes, mostly because in so many ways as soldiers Diomedes foils/contrasts Achilles but in so many ways parallels his son. Diomedes gets on begrudgingly with Neo, and I could go on a whole other rant on a different post about some fake dynamics/scenarios for just them, but the main point in this post is that Neo somehow SOMEHOW tags along with Diomedes. They reach Ithaca together and meet Penelope and Telemachus.

They greet Diomedes and Pyrrhus with good courtesy, but the elephant in the room of “hold on where tf is your husband??? he was so eager to go back to you guys???” is very present. One way or another Penelope explains the situation, that being Odysseus is absent/mia (much to his own dismay) and the suitors all trying to wed Penelope. Diomedes is sad obv (I’m not gonna go super big into the angst right now) but he tries to brainstorm with Penelope on solutions for her predicament. Since Odysseus was his closest friend (more than friend for me personally but u can interpret it as platonic if u want) and he knows that Odysseus would want what’s best for his wife and son, they think of a solution that can the guarantee of their safety as of now until they hear news of Odysseus. That solution is fake marriage bcs I am a bit of a sucker for that troupe.

But back to Neoptolemus because he’s here too, I want him to bond with Telemachus what with their dads not being here (one’s dead one’s absent). Neo is like way stronger than Telemachus so at first he thinks he’s a bit of a wimp (keep in mind they’re like both teenagers, Neo’s life was just kinda fucked up), but over time they get along better. Pyrrhus’ relationship with Odysseus is a little complicated, so while Penelope and Diomedes might share all the good stories/parts of Odysseus with, Pyrrhus got off to a slightly rocky start with him lol. What with Odysseus taking him away from his mom and basically all the war shenanigans (war crimes), Telemachus for the first time has a whole and humanized version of his dad. It’s more than what the suitors have said out of malice and jealousy, the things Neo has told him have opened up the trickery/cunning side of Odysseus more than he’d known before. He’s jealous that it seems like everyone knows more about his dad than him, but he’s grateful to have someone his age who would view Odysseus more like he would: an annoying dad/uncle??? (Neo vehemently objects to this, and Odysseus would too. “You’re not my fucking dad!!!” “Holy shit thank the GODS for that!!!”)

All in all, happy family. Odysseus returns home to Penelope and Telemachus, and now two surprise guests too. Telemachus has like 3 kinda parents now (Diomedes might be more like an uncle) and a kinda brother/friend/??? I love my little delusional found family. Odysseus is more than a little surprised, considering this IS Neoptolemus. Kid did a 180° in terms of personality in Troy and then ANOTHER 180° somewhere on Ithaca at some point. Or maybe more like a 90° turn in terms of personality, I imagine Telemachus is the most sane of the family and it is much to his dismay.

And when they all eventually die (Diomedes won’t ascend to godhood here I want him to be in the underworld with the rest of the fam) they’ll live happily in the underworld and Pyrrhus can catch up with his dad and mom.

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗲𝘅𝗽𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝗲𝗿𝗮𝘀𝗺𝘂𝘀 pros and cons

a girl asked me to talk about my erasmus experience in the questions box and she inspired me to make this post. if you have posts to request don't be shy! unfortunately i don't have all the time i would like to uptade but i will try to keep up.

erasmus is a student mobility program of the european union that allows a european student to attend a school in another EU country for a period of time legally recognized by their home institution.

it is a temporary experience with many benefits, enabling students to engage with different cultures and customs. due to its non-permanent nature, i believe it is one of the most beautiful opportunities for a student to feel completely free to explore and understand themselves, to figure out what they want and do not want from their life and educational path.

but let’s start by discussing its downsides. unfortunately, not everything is perfect.

𝟭. paperwork ( 📄 )

hey, i know, guys, i'm not the first or the only one to say this, but the paperwork for erasmus is a pain in the ass. it's not only extremely complicated, but universities (mine for sure, but i know it's a common experience) provide zero help in filling out the documentation. especially if you're not familiar with bureaucracy (and at 20 it’s normal not to be familiar with these things), it can seem like an insurmountable mountain. but if i, someone who doesn’t understand anything about this stuff, managed to get through it, you can do it too. typically, the documentation includes:

various information like ID, health card, and the IBAN of an account in your name (or joint name) where they will deposit the scholarship.

learning agreement, another plague sent from hell because you usually have to deal with two professors, one from your university and one from the host university, who clearly would prefer to mop the sea than help you fill out your learning agreement.

financial agreement for the scholarship, which has specific deadlines by which you need to submit documents (usually IBAN, learning agreement, and acceptance letter from the host university). fun fact: i almost missed this and didn’t receive the scholarship because these deadlines were buried deep in my university’s website (don’t be like me, make sure to be informed well about the financial agreement or you risk being left without money).

the best advice i can give you is to find someone from your university who has already done the erasmus where you’re supposed to go and ask them for some information. they, having gone through it, know what mistakes to avoid and what’s best to do. the offices often assume too many things and give you insufficient and hasty information.

𝟮. finding an accomodation ( 🏡 )

this too, another pain in the ass. it depends on the city, but here in madrid, finding a place to live has been a nightmare (and indeed, i've significantly overshot the budget i had set for rent). you have various options for accommodation:

student dormitories these solutions may seem the best at first glance, but they aren’t always. here in madrid, the fees for the dormitories at my campus cost more than my current rent, plus having only one kitchen for an entire floor is not exactly optimal comfort, especially if, like me, you cook a lot.

apartment studio/flat this is definitely the most comfortable option, but also the most expensive. a studio outside the center in big cities can cost up to €1000 a month. however, if you can afford it and prefer privacy, then go for it. at first, living alone might not be easy, especially if it’s your first time away from family, but you’ll get through it quickly.

room in an apartment this can be the best or the worst option depending on your luck because having flatmates means cohabitation, which is not always pleasant. if you're going in erasmus with someone you know, it might be optimal to share an apartment or take two rooms in a larger flat. personally, i rented a room in an apartment with three other people (two bathrooms and a kitchen), and i couldn’t be happier; i love my flatmates, and we quickly became friends. we cook together, go out together, spend entire evenings chatting and joking and they helped me a lot overcoming the first crisis. i realize, though, that i am an exception, so choose your accommodation carefully.

in short, consider your choice based on 3 factors:

proximity to the university/public transport links i study outside of madrid, almost an hour by bus from my place, but i live practically across from the bus stop, so it’s not a problem at all.

centrality/connection to the city center you're in erasmus to experience the city!

comfort of the place such as private bathroom (very hard to find but not impossible), utensils, AC, appliances (we have a dishwasher at home, and i assure you it saves our lives everytime).

𝟯. homesickness ( 🤧 )

yes, everyone feels homesick, even the most stoic. but guarantee you, you'll get through it. first of all erasmus, fortunately or unfortunately, isn’t forever. it’s a 6 month/1 year experience that is incredibly valuable for your personal growth, at the end of this period of time, you'll be back home. secondly, you can always stay in touch with friends and family in the age of technology. those who truly love you will support you in this project and do everything they can to make you feel less lonely. lastly, during erasmus, you’ll make many amazing friendships and connections that you otherwise would never have the chance to make.

𝟰. language barrier ( 🦜 )

i can’t say much about this, i've never studied spanish in my life, but, since i'm italian, i have no trouble following the lessons and understanding people when they speak, even though i'm still not able to express myself well in this new language. however, by living in another country, you’ll learn the language much faster and more effectively than with any academic course. in just a month, i already feel much more comfortable with spanish, and everyday i learn new things.

and of course, i could talk for hours about the benefits of erasmus, but i might save my praises for a post i'll write later, towards the end of this experience.

i can tell you that in just a month here, a whole new world has opened up for me. not only is the thrill of being in another city, in another country, an electrifying flow of continuous energy, but i’ve also realized things about myself that i might have ignored before.

i have much more confidence in myself; i feel freer, less afraid of making mistakes. it’s true, i’m far from my family and friends, but this also means i’m far from all those eyes under which i always try to appear perfect.

i crave to see and learn, i'm eager to discover new things, and this drives me to do things i probably wouldn’t do in my home country, to appreciate their flavor and indulge in the uncertainty of "maybe i’ll like this".

for the first time, i’m experiencing a new country without the rose-tinted filter of a short vacation. i’ve never felt as rich and full of gratitude as i do now, and i hope this is a feeling every student can experience.

so, erasmus, yes or no? absolutely yes.

i’d love to keep updating you on my experience abroad. what do you think? would you like that? let me know in the comments! star kisses ⭐

[perfectlyoongi]

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who makes a point of having a weekly lunch with you. when your lives started to get busier and there were rarely moments you could share with Jin, he was quick to find a solution: every day, on tuesday (because nothing ever happens on a tuesday), you and Jin would enjoy lunch together. whether it was at your favorite restaurant or at home through a screen, the truth is that this habit of yours started to grow when you finished high school and were jumping from job to job. it seemed impossible for you to find something that could support you before going to university; and, with you busy juggling jobs, and Jin too busy with training and meetings, a simple lunch could be enough. enough for you to breathe a little in the middle of your chaotic life; enough for Jin to be able to guide you through the uncertain paths of adulthood; enough for the two of you to forget the world and relive your childhood a little. “i know you’re going to have a meeting after lunch, but that’s not an excuse to miss our lunch. let’s eat at the pizzeria or even order out. you won’t get away.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who whenever misses you posts a photo of you as if you had run away from home. one thing about your brother is that he liked to be dramatic, especially when he brought you into the equation. as such, when his heart grew more nostalgic for easier times when you were always by his side, Jin made sure to tell everyone how he felt. always with a recent photo of you, and always taken when you were most distracted, Jin would post your face on his social networks, always with such a detailed description of you and such a beautiful message that anyone who didn’t know him would swear he was looking for someone who ran away from home. “today is exactly a week since i last saw you. i don’t know what you’re doing now, or why you decided to abandon me like this, but i want you to know that you can always come home. i am always here to welcome you.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who scares you when you come out of the bathroom. he swears he didn’t do it on purpose. he swears it’s pure coincidence. he swears he’s not amused when he sees you jumping as soon as you open the bathroom door. but he also swore he would be more careful and here you were, leaving the bathroom, rested, until you saw your brother's figure right in front of you without any warning. with so many times he scared you, you should be used to this side of Jin by now, but the reality is that, whenever you think you’re safe and that he’s forgotten about this little torture, Jin made a point of showing you that, with him at home, you would never have a moment of peace. not that you minded, but the fact that your soul leaves your body so many times a month, you’d swear you’d reach thirty already full of grey hair. “sorry. sorry. sorry! i promise i will be more careful. it’s not my fault that you left at the exact moment i— how dare you?! i am not doing it on purpose! i swear on the health of your stuffed animal.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who takes care of your hair when you are busiest. one of the things that made you calmer and helped you withstand all the turbulence in life was your hair. said like that it seemed strange, you couldn’t deny it, but the reality was that your hair brought back as many memories as your heart. when you grew it out, you remembered all the times Jin sat with you in front of the television and groomed you while you ate your breakfast before going to school. when you decided to cut it, Jin was the one who held the scissors and made sure you got the cut you wanted. when you were happy, Jin would put flowers in your hair. when you were sad, Jin would stroke your hair. in it, you had a whole life. in it, you had all the memories that warmed your heart. as such, and even though you were grown up now, Jin continued to take care of your hair when life became more complicated and time became less and less — it was his greatest proof of love. “mom told me that the meeting didn’t go very well yesterday. do you want to talk about it? you can sit in front of the television eating like we did when you were a kid. what do you say? i’ll take care of you, i promise.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who does squeaky karaoke sessions with you. it doesn’t matter if you both have the voice of an angel. it doesn’t matter if none of you were fit to sing. the reality is that, when the night was late and no plan was going to ruin tomorrow, you and Jin grabbed the television controls and made a point of shouting the most upbeat and dramatic songs as loud as possible. between laughter and out of tune high notes, you and Jin spent the night reliving those childhood times when Jin let you be part of his dream. whether it was as a gift for your parents or because he simply wanted to, Jin loved singing for your family, that’s when he discovered his passion. and when you started listening to the lyrics better and understanding the words better, Jin let you join him at his little home concerts and since then it’s been a simple solution to the weight of life. “i don’t care if you’re sick or not. i want to sing with you. throat hurts? so stand by and let me shine alone for a change. thank you.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who sends photos of random objects with the description ‘you’. it all started when you and Jin were playing in a park and a rock with moss appeared to have the features of a person; it was a scary person and really no one was that green, but as soon as Jin noticed the similarities between that stone and a human face, he just laughed, pointed at the stone and said a very meaningful ‘you’. since then, you two had been hunting for dirty or disgusting objects to show the other how you saw them. of course, now it was a matter of force of habit, and you only exchanged these insults when the day was boring or when you had a lot of free time on your hands. but whatever the case, now after so many years, you still paid attention to the objects thrown on the floor and Jin still looked twice at a trash can before walking past it. none of you would admit defeat, even if it meant staying like this until you were 90 years old. “see that transparent bag over there? that bottle all crumpled with something sticky? it’s you when you finish taking a shower.”

OLDER-BROTHER!JIN who always uses the card of being older for you to listen to him in more emotional moments. there were times when you didn’t want to hear anything or anyone. complicated moments when you just wanted to isolate yourself, lie down and forget about the world and everything it brings with it. but in those times, when your heart gets heavier and your hope gets darker, Jin was always by your side. no matter how much you wanted to be alone, no matter how much you didn’t want to talk, Jin just ignored your pleas and sat next to you, always, forcing you to listen to everything he had to say and only then would he leave you alone. “shut up and listen to me. i’m older than you, you have to show me respect. so shut up and let me talk. you know it hurts me to see you like this, but i also know that you prefer to carry all the weight of the world rather than share even a fraction of it with me. so i just want to ask you to remember that the world doesn’t owe you anything. i know you feel like everyone needs you, that everyone’s weight is yours to carry, but it’s not true. you are yourself before you belong to anyone else. don’t carry weights that don’t have your name on it. they are not yours. nothing that others are is part of you. you are a single individual. you just need to take care of yourself.”

[roses-and-revolutions]

I have another idea for a story, but I once again don't know what to write, so I'm building a skeleton.

It's a DC x DP x ML crossover. Damien, Marinette, and Danny are triplets born into the LoA. From birth, they were taught to not see each other as siblings but as rivals for Ra's attention. When they were five, they were dipped (more like dropped) into the pits for the first time. Danny never comes back out. The second time was when they were six. Damien and Marinette came back from a mission gravely injured. Marinette doesn't come back out. Damien becomes the sole heir.

As one can imagine, Danny and Marinette aren't dead but simply taken to where they were needed at the time. That being said, things for these two characters go mostly according to their respective shows after they integrate into society. With the exception that the two of them are more competent and don't fight like rabid raccoons. But things take a dark turn when they turn sixteen.

Marinette

. After finding out that his father is Hawkmoth, Adrien is unable to carry the weight of being the holder of the cat Miraculous, as he doesn't want to fight his father and gives it to Ladybug. He promptly moves to the States to further his modeling career. Marinette, unable to find someone else worthy to be the holder of the cat Miraculous, stores it away and becomes the sole hero of Paris (with occasional helpers). But because of this, her two lives get more intertwined, and she is forced into a corner where she has to choose between being Ladybuy or Marinette.

. But she doesn't get a chance as Hawkmoth is dethroned and replaced by an even greater threat. She is forced to take on the persona of LadyNoir. Her life crumbles as she tries her hardest to balance her life as a hero and a person. She tries to save everyone but someone always ends up getting hurt. Whether it be her as Marinette, clinging to what little of her life is left. Or her as LadyNoir, with no choice but to watch innocent civilians die because she couldn't think of a better plan that could've saved everyone.

. It gets to the point where she makes an unforgivable wish. But every wish has a cost. She only finds out the price when she is forced to stand behind an invisible wall and watch as her life replays before her eyes, the film slowly burning away till there's nothing left. She cries as she falls into an ocean of familiar Lazarus green.

Danny

. Danny's life is also crumbling around him as he struggles to separate his human life from his ghost half. But after becoming the Ghost King, things only became more complicated and even more dangerous as more ghosts started coming through the portal to challenge him for the crown. And while he would really love to give it away, the guys that kept fighting him for it are very clearly evil. So he has to keep fighting, winning, and solidifying his position as the King of the Infinite Realms. But with every win comes a newfound power. Power he doesn't want. Power that scares him.

. It gets to the point when Danny has to drop out of school. He wasn't even scoring double digits anymore so what was the sense of keeping him? But Danny couldn't stay home either, it was too dangerous as his ghost and human halves were slowly becoming one. And his parents' obsession was slowly becoming a threat to him. He thought he had the solution. He was going to shut down the portal and leave Amity Park.

. It was perfect really, as no ghost portal meant no ghost. And he couldn't be vivisected if neither the GIW nor his parents could catch him. He talked the plan over with team phantom and they reluctantly agreed. The ghost portal is destroyed, and Danny leaves Amity and files over Elmerton and a few other towns. But after flying for a while, Danny gets to a sort of border where nothing meets... NOTHING. On the other side was just an infinite void. Nothing.

. Danny slowly realizes that in this world, all he knew was Amity Park. He never actually traveled or went on field trips. Never went to visit extended family nor did any visit. No one 'new' ever came to Amity Park because they were all just nearby. He learned no relevant history besides Amity Park because there was nothing outside of Amity Park. When the realization had finally set in the world began to crumble into the void and it became a race against him and the void.

. Danny knew that he was fast but the void was faster, and before he knew it he was back in Amity. He was going to warn them and try to save as many people as he could. But saw something in their eyes. They already knew. Danny watched how teary eyes and big smiles, everyone and everything he loved crumbled into the void, fading into nothingness.

Scientists across the galaxy, the universe even, often theorize about how everything came to be. Well, it didn't start with a bang, that's for sure. 'Well then how did it start?' you might ask.

Well..., it started with some tears and a scream.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 58)

When N went in to work that Monday morning, his nerves were barely contained underneath his casing. Containing his excitement was difficult, he wanted to tell everyone. He was so ecstatic, Uzi was carrying living proof of how much he loved her. Something that should have been impossible made somehow possible.

Their coding shouldn't have been compatible… but it was, somehow.

His smile was unbreakable, not when he got sent to deal with a brawl in the market, not when he chased a thief and had to tackle them to the ground. And not when he spent three hours doing paperwork at his desk, even as some of the words blended together in his head.

“What's got ya so smiley? Thought you'd be worried after what happened.” Hal had been walking by, a steaming mug of gasoline clenched in his fist as he leaned on N's desk.

Right, Doll. Uzi had explained what happened to him, being cornered, fighting to the best of her ability and Tera, his brave, firecracker of a daughter confronted her and made her stop. Knowing that V killed her parents… maybe attacking Uzi when she had their daughter was too much of a hypocrisy.

That worry was in the back of his head… but for now eclipsed by the unfettered joy that came with knowing that his family was expanding.

“Uh- Just, something at home Hal.” Not telling anyone was rough on him. But Uzi had wanted to keep it between them for now, at least until she did more research and knew a bit more.

“And ya aren't going to share? That's not like you.” Hal pointed out, a half smirk on his face. N gave him a sheepish smile in return.

“Sorry, not this time.”

Uzi meanwhile was sitting on the couch with her laptop in her lap, jotting down notes in a little notebook with Tera playing with her bat toy next to her, making squeaks and chirps.

She was researching, scouring internet forums, medical websites, old video hosting webpages. Anything that held any relevant information for her. She was familiar with typical drone pregnancies, 5 months was the typical length, enough time for the babies code to become independent enough to be separated, then transfered to a pillbaby body. Aside from minor side effects, there were no physical changes in the host drone during the pregnancy, and the ‘birth’ relatively painless.

She wasn't quite so familiar with organic pregnancies, and figured her limited, horror movie taught experience was likely to be inaccurate or exaggerated.

She was both happy, and unhappy, that she did.

She started with a video describing first month symptoms, how to deal with them, and any complications that would arise. She was still hoping that her body was mearly reacting as if she was going through physical changes, and that hers would be a normal, painless process.

She was never one to hope for the best and not prepare for the worst however. And this information would be helpful going forward, just in case.

Morning sickness was the first symptom listed, something she was definitely familiar with. She still felt woosy from waking up that morning, and had thrown up twice. Unfortunately, the best answer she'd gotten for a fix was ‘wait it out, it'll subside later in the pregnancy’. Which was something she didn't want to hear honestly.

The next, mood swings. Which hadn't hit her too hard at the moment, but may have contributed to her recent fascination with rom-coms and other sappy shit. Nothing she could do about that either, humans had hormones that dictated that, and unfortunately her dumbass programing had simulated ones.

Cravings and weight gain were the next two, which was something that actually had a solution to, ‘Cravings are usually a result of the bodies lack of a certain nutrient required for the development of the baby. Listen to your body.’ Was the advice the article had given.

She'd love to listen to her body, but she didn't have a clue on what it wanted, She'd tried every snack known to drone and even ones she previously didn't like, but nothing was killing the hunger that had only grown stronger. The only two things that even helped a little bit was oil, and the silicone chips N had bought her the night before.

Her mouth watered a little bit at the thought of that, the hardened silicone breaking between her fangs, mixed with the thick sweetness of the oil she'd drunk, it had been the perfect combo, enough to calm down the hunger pains in her stomach. Almost.

“Ow!” She winced as she realized she'd stuck a finger in her mouth and bitten down, her fang peircing a hole through the white silicon pad on her finger, a small amount of oil seeped out, so she just stuck it back into her mouth until it stopped bleeding.

That was odd…

She shook it off and kept researching, skipping to how birth was, just to calm her nerves on how that was like, surely it was ar least somewhat similar to drones. Right?

She clicked on a video, the scene set in a hospital setting as a narrator drabbled on with how human babies were made, it was… interesting in it's own right. And made her realize just how similar DNA and code really was. Just 1s and 0s written and read in different ways.

It wasn't until the human woman laying on the table screamed like she was being murdered that her concerns returned. She was drenched in sweat, a man at her side holding her hand that she could only assume was her partner.

Her mind provided her an image of her lying there, N holding her hand, wiping the sweat from her brow. And she smiled a little bit before it fell off her face entirely within the next few minutes.

The woman's stomach was distended, and with every scream Uzi's disgust grew, doctors flurried around her so quickly that even she was starting to feel dizzy.

Oh

Oh…

Fear prickled on the back of her neck, this wasn't painless. This wasn't painless at all. Humans had to endure hours of agonizing pain as they pushed out a baby the size of a watermelon out of a hole the size of a pea.

And their bodies were made for that, albeit, evolution had fucked them over, giving them a reproductive system designed to be agonizing, but their bodies were made to be that way, to stretch and accommodate despite the pain.

She was made out of metal and silicone, and while some area's of the silicone were malleable, like her face and her fingers, most of it was hard and stiff, no room to give, no room to accommodate.

She wasn't made for… that.

So that fear was back in full force, if she was pregnant, like… the human way and not the vastly superior drone way. Then how was this going to work at all? She touched her midsection gently, as if she'd hurt herself if she pushed too hard.

She tried to think back to what N said, while having the solver was a pain and scary more often then not, it hadn't straight up tried to kill her, if anything it was doing it's best to keep her alive. So… would her body figure something out? It would have to, wouldn't it?

She sighed, stopping her spiral.

They knew nothing yet, no need to get hung up on something she may not have to worry about. So she moved on, heading into the next part of her research and scribbling down everything she'd learned, just in case.

She was focused on her research, looking up symptoms, how to deal with them, and what she should expect going forward. Knowing was far less scary then not knowing.

Then she heard a noise and looked over, Tera was hunched over the side of the couch, coughing. Uzi put her laptop to the side, hand on her daughters back.

“Tera?” She asked gently, and it only took another second for the toddler to heave. And then completely upchuck her recent feeding all over the floor, covering it with black.

“Tera!” Uzi lifted her head up, worried. Tera looked… fine. If slightly upset. She held herself as if she was in discomfort, and her eyelights were strained.

Toddlers getting sick out of nowhere was admiditly pretty normal, though a little unexpected, Uzi still picked her up and held her.

“Aw… Tera, let's clean this up, you're okay.” She wasn't mad, well… maybe a little upset that there was now oil everywhere, but if she could relate to anything it would be feeling nauseous. Still, chances were Tera was just overfed, nothing to freak out over.

Tera made a grumbling noise and curled into her mom, and Uzi sighed. Soon, no matter how it happened, she would be dealing with double trouble.

Next ->

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This is a really short AITA but: AITA for encouraging my sister to relocate?

(I have received permission to send this AITA. This has been co-read and approved by my sister)

I live in country A, my sister lives in country B— she moved there about seven years ago. My sister has always struggled with mental health, as have I. Her 20s were the worst: locking herself in her house, cutting off all her friends, verbally attacking anyone who would try and help, and even impulsively boarding trains/buses and disappearing for a week or two if anyone pushed too hard or tried to arrange something like an intervention, along with other more self-destructive tendencies (let me be clear: i have never approved of interventions, I think they’re disgusting, ableist, and only do worse for the people involved).

After moving to country B, she met a guy and had kids. They waited a bit before having them because she wasn’t sure if she would be capable of raising kids, but the guy encouraged her to go to therapy and find ways to cope. After about four years, she was doing MUCH better and had found a good system of coping mechanisms.

She started relapsing (is that the right word?) about a year ago. She says it’s getting worse, and she says she no longer knows if she can act as a parent to her two kids (ages 13 and 9).

Her proposed solution to this is to move the family back to country A, where the rest of her family would be able to pitch in. (Her husbands family is unavailable for raising, she’s never met them. Apparently they suck). Her husband and kids are against the idea, especially the kids, who have friends in B and do not know A’s language very well.

My sister says that if they stay in B, they will only have one parent (her husband, who works a lot more than she does and is therefore less present at home) that’s able to be present in their lives, while in A they will have an entire family structure of uncles, aunts, grandparents, and family friends to pitch in when she isn’t mentally capable of caring for the kids.

Another complication: our parents are a little judgemental. They’ve never had a bad word to say about any of the little ones in the family (they spoil all their grandkids and grandnephews rotten, both the young and the adults), but are not above nagging their own kids or badmouthing their partners. And they do not like my sister’s husband. At all. (I don’t either)

She asked me for advice, and I encouraged her to go through with the moving-to-A plan because I genuinely think it’ll be better for the kids in the long run. After months of begging, her husband has agreed to move back. Everyone in A is elated, my sister is relieved, her husband is irritated, and her kids are furious. She usually calls me for mental health related issues since we’ve had similar experiences, but I have no partner or kids of my own (and intend to remain that way), so maybe I wasn’t the right person to give advice in this situation. The kids are young and will learn the language quick, and won’t risk neglect. However, moving from one town to another is scary enough, so I understand why her kids are upset about having to move to a country that speaks a different language. In addition, her husband will be in a family unit where most people are cautious at best and actively dislike him at worst

(Disclaimer: my sister is not handing the responsibility of raising her kids to the rest of the family. She will still be trying to raise them, but there is only so much she can do when her health/life is at risk)