#the simp speaks

[bonefanatic]

im bringing a level of simpery to 2024 that hot dads aren't quite prepared for...

[rosaliesimp]

The Cullens: Holiday Traditions with a Human S/O

not me posting this a day late :'( a/n if you're new here, this is just cute holiday gift giving. also…. requests are always open!! that being said... let's go!

Carlisle

he likes to take lots of photos in the snow

he will drive all the way up to canada if alice says forks isn’t getting snow

he will immediately stop if you even show a hint of being cold though so you secretly bundle up before leaving

Esme

Esme is definitely a food type of person

she makes a lot of food for you, like, a lot

her favorite one though is baking cookies, because you trust your cookie making abilities enough to ask to join in, and she loves is even more

Jasper

you actually were the one to make this a solid tradition

you like to go help out around the holidays

you enjoy helping out at the animal shelter the most, but because of jasper’s predatory vampirey vibes, you most often end up at the soup kitchen

he says he just goes along with it, but part of him is really trying to make the world better because he regrets what he’s done in the past

Alice

she will buy you christmas themed outfits

if you're someone who likes wearing dresses, expect a santa dress

similarly to jasper, you two like helping out together. alice really likes shopping for kids (like those programs where you buy gifts for children), because she can see if they like it or not

Emmett

one word: sports

he's really good at snowboarding for some reason.

if you're sporty, hell yeah, highest difficulty here we go

if you're more of the clumsy type, there is a high chance that he will laugh if you fall

but he'll be right there to help you up <3

Rosalie

she doesn't particularly have any holiday traditions, but you insist that you two should have one

so, for the past two years, you've tried to get her in to ornament making

she claims she's not interested but her ornaments may have well been store bought, they're so perfect

(truth is, she read quite a few books on this so she could help you with it if you needed it. she's had her fair amount of practice too)

Edward

he likes movies a lot

usually you'll end up watching a bunch of old movies around december

but on the 24th, at night, he'll give you one present early, and you'll sneak away to watch 'It's A Wonderful Life' together

Bella

while she's human, you two will often bake holiday foods together. she'll give them to charlie and tell him to hand them out at work, but keep some for the two of you

when she's a vampire though... that's a different story. assuming she's past her thirst (both forms), she'll probably just want a nice evening.

she'll buy silly matching pajamas, and keep you up till midnight to celebrate official christmas day, then give you a present right there

[simp-cameraman]

Rules?? Idk

• NO NSFW (cuz I’m a minor)

• Tkl asks are allowed

• Roleplay is allowed

• Idk what else to put here??

But my main blog is @upgr4ded-titan-speakerm4n!

Byee I guess

[wandamaximoff-simp]

what if i literally bite you fr

what if you literally do?

(i shall bite you back fr fr)

[cellgatinbo]

rodezel (one of the guests for purgatory 2) was watching some videos to get context for the series and made the funniest fucking clip

[qiu-yan]

thoughts

also wasn't sure what to do with the lan simp brothers so i guess they can sit on the side

[nyc3]

This is such a fun scene when you think about the context, cause is supposed to be from Chrono's perspective.

Chrono really think he can fool us and make us think Chisaki, a person with severe misophonia, would voluntarily enter in a cage fight shirtless AND without gloves?

Especially considering we have another flashback of the same or a similar situation from Rappa's perspective and we clearly see Chisaki doesn't take off his clothes for "fight".

Is Chrono so thirsty for Kai that he unconsciously imagines him shirtless?

Well I can't blame you at all Hari... I do the same thing all the time.

[shimiyass]

Can we all take a time and admire the fear in his eyes at this scene lol

[hikarry]

No, I don't portray Crowley as having a weird fascination with Aziraphale's blue eyes because I also have a weird obcession with them, what do you mean? *sips my caprisun*

[nocofamilyau]

not related to noco at all but what is katie and sadie’s relationship like now?

pretty good all things considered! while they're both married to two sweet guys and have separate families (none of their kids are other td characters, unfortunately...) they're still really close, and still live next to each other at that same beach town they grew up in, now both running that successful 80s themed ice cream business they've been dreaming of! its safe to say they probably suffered the least on Total Drama, only leaving with a couple of minor scars, good god were they lucky..

[stickparrot]

Guys I just rewatched the Rise of the Guardians and I am not that much of a Furry but hear me out... hear me out

why he kinda...

Simping aside this movie needs more love then it has

[jamiewintons]

Man, Sanji with a really shy gf would be so cute. Like he’d love to get you flustered, he’d figure out exactly what he has to do or say to get you to blush and cover your face with your hands. He thinks it’s the absolute cutest thing ever. Just him getting really close to you and whispering into your ear that you look beautiful. In that voice. I would actually die.

[rosaliesimp]

The Cullens: Secret Santa

did i mean to post this over 72 hours ago? yes. but am i going to wait a whole year to post it? no.

Secret Santa

Bella

Bella is always very careful not to ask Edward who has her. Knowing him, he’d tell her in a heartbeat. If she manages to decode who has her name, she’ll shield them to keep the gift a secret. She hates when Edward spoils it, but after joining the coven officially, he’s found it difficult to keep secrets.

Edward rigged it the first year, and gave Bella her truck back as the gift. She drives around at a comfortable 30 miles-per-hour in her beat up truck, though it took a lot of testing on old junk cars before she could get her strength under control. Usually, though, she receives comfy clothes.

Edward

Edward’s name is pulled by Bella every year. It’s not a secret, but at least the gift is! At least… she thinks so. Edward usually claims he never guessed, but somewhere between buying the gift and wrapping it, he’s accidentally spoiled himself by listening in on someone accidentally thinking about it. After the first year, when he purposefully spoiled it, and saw the look on Bella’s face, he vowed to never do it again.

Nobody ever knows what he’s going to get, but somehow, he always likes it. Mostly because it’s from Bella.

Alice

Whoever gets Alice ends up turning to the pack for help. The first year, she tried to spy, and was very unhappy to see that she couldn’t see. The gift is usually kept with them until the very last second. Alice has a lot of fun seeing what it is the moment it leaves their hands.

They like buying her old, intricate things. She considers herself to be a woman of high fashion, hence, the several old aristocratic dresses in her closet. Jasper got her one that she loves so much, she doesn’t even let anyone touch it. However, one year, someone bought her a boutique. It was difficult to be so ambiguous, but she didn’t guess. She runs it on the side, now that there aren’t any more Cullen-controversies.

Jasper

Jasper is bound to get some sort of historical item. He usually deduces who has his name, and enjoys worming his way in to the shopping trips. He usually lurks around, just taking in what his Secret Santa is feeling. He will laugh if they’re having trouble, but usually drops a couple hints if it’s Bella, since she hasn’t known him as long.

Most often, they buy him a historical book, and watch him go through, marking all the inaccurate pieces of information with a red sharpie. One year, he was given a large diary of empty pages, and was allowed to forge a historical artifact for the sake of easing his anger. It now resides in a very large museum.

Emmett

Emmett is a little difficult for people to buy for, but in the end, he likes whatever he’s given. He tries his best to take it seriously, since it’s supposed to be a secret and all, but after watching Jasper guess every year who has his name, he’s made it almost a competition to guess who has Jasper's name before Jasper can get to it. He never guesses who has his name, though.

Most of the time, people buy him experiences. He’s gone to several, several, several trampoline parks. He’s also broken several, several, several trampolines. Part of the gift is allowing him to be a little bit reckless.

Rosalie

Rosalie secretly enjoys Secret Santa. Of course, she’s less than elated when she pulls Edward’s name, but still ends up buying him something he’ll like. She also is very good at determining who has her name, as they’ll make an effort to speak to her a little more. It’s obvious, but she never points it out. Sometimes, Alice will tell her that her Secret Santa is having problems, and Rose, being who she is, will stare them down a bit, watching them (hypothetically) sweat

She either receives a whole car (often something disassembled as a fixer-upper), or some nice perfume. People are never really sure what to buy her, but she appreciates what she’s given.

Esme

Esme never guesses who has her. She tries her best not to even think about it, because she takes it very seriously. She spends a lot of time on the gift, and most often, it’s something handmade, along with something the recipient will definitely enjoy. Of course, everyone enjoys Esme’s scarves, but they can’t really get cold, so it’s best to give something with utility as well

She usually is given homemade items in return. One year, Alice made everyone matching sweaters for Esme and the rest to wear together. On Rosalie’s request, Edward’s was made of an itchy fabric, just to humor her for a change.

Carlisle

Carlisle is always slightly disappointed when he doesn’t pull Esme’s name, but he always buys her a gift anyway, so it’s fine in his book. He takes it very seriously as well, but he often finds himself talking to others about what he should give.

Often, he receives something silly, like a ‘#1 Dad’ mug, or a ‘Kiss the Cook’ apron. Occasionally, he’ll get a bushel of apples to give to his patients as a joke. But, once in a blue moon, he’ll get something incredibly precious to him, and, while he will keep the item at home, he’ll bring something that reminds him of it to work.

[stellacaerulea]

HELLO INFINITY NIKKI

[charmac]

I hate to defend Rob but seeing Sunny teens on Twitter try to speculate he isn't "speaking up" about voting because he's hiding being a secret Trump supporter is so insanely ridiculous when campaign contributions in the United States is public information:

(Yeah. That's a $100,000.00 donation to a grassroots victory fund, on top of a ton of donations to swing states.)

It's almost like making public political statements on social media is heavily advised against when you're a showrunner/employer to hundreds of people.

[romanceddawn]

Puzzleshipping: "Do I owe you my everything?"

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