#the signals truly cannot get any more mixed. like

[priestfrommidnightmass]

oh my god i didn’t even TELL YOU ALL. so me and him were bugging each other as we always do and the kids were crowded around our table as they always do. he’s looking down and one of the kids notices the picture of his gf in his phone case and asks Is that your girlfriend? and he immediately assumes they’re referring to me? so he annoyedly goes No I don’t. I don’t know what that is. the children clarified that they were in fact not referring to me and he was like oh yeah it is. like

[batfam-enjoyer]

Relationship headcanons for the batfam!

Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain

Sorry for no Barbara, Steph, or Duke ☹️ love them but I honestly just don’t know them well enough

Sorry if some of these aren’t the greatest, I feel more strongly about some characters over the others so I don’t have many head canons.oh also also might be out of character ofc, these are just my personal headcanons of how I see the characters. Also sorry if this is a bit messy I didn’t edit the best :)

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Bruce Wayne

This man has been through a lot so I feel like to truly get close to him would be difficult, especially considering he is Batman.

he needs a stable healthy relationship oh my god, yes he enjoys the chase of those hard to get but for his own sake he needs to settle down.

he’s definitely scared of losing you, he’s lost so many people in his life in one way or another.

I feel like he is one to get nightmares at night about losing you or other people. After waking up your comfort is everything to him, and if you don’t wake up at him startling awake he won’t disturb you and will just study your features the best he can in the moonlight before sleep grasps him once again.

Love language is a mix of gift giving and affection!

Always loves to have a hand on your waist, if he ever takes you to one of the gala’s he has to go to he is stuck to you like glue. Once he’s settled with you he doesn’t want women fawning over him, he wants to give the signal that his heart is yours.

Showers you in so many kisses when no one else is around, seems like a hard ass but he’s a softie for you. It makes the bat family happy to see that for him.

Onto gift giving though!!!! He’s a very busy man so he unfortunately cannot be around all the time but he always makes sure to send you little gifts to let you know you’re on his mind.

If you like expensive gifts then he’ll give you expensive gifts but truly he just wants to give you little things that will make you happy, he wants to save the big gifts for important days!

A toxic trait of his is that when he gets hurt and upset he tends to distance himself from you even though you’re there for him. After a while of talking him through it everytime it happens he starts to stop and open up to you more and more.

Dick Grayson!!!

Dick is a bit of a man hoe and has dated many people before you. Hopefully when he finally got with you though he’s matured a lot more and won’t leave you after a while just to date another girl.

If not it’s probably a complicated on and off relationship ☹️ don’t want that for you tho.

For him to settle down with you you’d likely need to be someone who’s like his anchor, able to hold your own and on the more mentally stable side.

You in no way need to be perfect though, he will love you all the same and will do his best to help you.

Speaking of helping, he’s got eldest sibling syndrome. He is STRESSED as he carries the weight of his family and the name of nightwing. He truly loves his family and try’s his best to be there for them but it runs him thin. This does mean he can be a lot snappy sometimes cause he’s not good at actually expressing his emotions so it comes out in bursts.

But for him having that eldest sibling syndrome, support him cause he really needs it, he may seem all happy but it’s usually hiding something.

Back to him being snappy tho is that he has a tendency to not let you know he has any problem with you and will act completely fine and then make some snarky remark which was clearly personal about some thing you did. It’s always uncalled for and happens when his temperament is running thin.

The more he starts to get it in his head though that he doesn’t need to perform being okay all the time he very much improves.

His love language is words of affirmation!

He likes reassuring you, supporting you, and saying sweet things to you. He also loves being reassured, told it’s okay, and being told sweet things, please give him words of affirmation he needs it.

Come up to him randomly and praise him about how well he’s been hiding stuff together lately, that you love him, and are there for him if he ever needs anything? His heart is melted.

If y’all share an apartment it’s routine to leave sticky notes around for eachother.

Onto affection tho, He absolutely will be affectionate to you in front of other people and he absolutely does not care about the teasing of his family, he owns that shit.

If he gets forced to a gala he is dragging you along so he doesn’t end himself. Love hates the attention of other women fawning over him, he’s an attention whore so a part of him loves it but the other part of him gets pissed because he is taken to a lovely you.

That is another flaw of Dick though, he loves attention a bit too much so hopefully you’re not a jealous type? He would never cheat and he absolutely isn’t tolerating any disrespect on your name, he just like when people pay attention to him.

Jason Todd ☺️

I like the idea of Jason with a nurse reader, or at least one well experienced in first aid.

Almost every night he comes home to his cold grimy apartment to patch himself up but once he has you in his like he’s able to come to your warm home to be patched up.

It’d take him getting gravely injured for him to allow you to help him in the first place but after that he starts to come to you to help him, even if it’s not necessary, he just wants to see you.

He has so many walls built up that will need to be taken down. He has a lot of fears that what he does will get you hurt, he’s also just not much of a people person. But if you are able to protect yourself decently well and install some good ass security it’ll put his mind at ease.

He will then constantly fuck with your security to prove it’s not secure enough and then try to make it more secure. After a certain point it is just more of him trying to find an excuse to be around you.

Please reassure him that he can come to you whenever and he doesn’t need a reason to at all. Also give him keys and beg him to stop breaking in. He will still occasionally break in though.

Refuses to introduce you to his family for a long time. They do still find out about for after some point and they will be running many background checks on you, they are a family of detectives after all.

The bat fam teases him very hard about you if given the chance, Tim and Steph are the worst, Damian is in disbelief anyone would even date Jason, Dick and Barbara usually keeps their mouths shut with possible light teasing. Cass and Duke are supportive though!

His love language is acts of service and affection.

He will fix anything you need fixed if needed. Your sink is leaking? Easy he’s fixed that like nothing. Need to to put together furniture but you don’t feel like putting it together? He will put that together in a heartbeat. Parts in your car need to be replaced? Absolutely he’s doing that 10x better than any person you’d pay for but for free.

Well not completely for free though, he’ll want all the cuddles, kisses, and all the affection now, not even in a sexual way most of the time, he wants sweet affection a lot of the time.

He’s almost always very gentle with you despite his rough exterior and personality. He always looks at you so sweetly and has a habit of brushing your hair out of your face and fixing your hair anytime something is astray.

After a while he basically just lives at your place as his place is a shit shack that he sucks at up keeping, he’ll keep your place clean though don’t worry.

Has a tendency to sleep on your couch a lot. He always gets back late and doesn’t want to wake you, also sometimes he’s smelly and gross but too tired to shower when he gets back so he just shuns himself to your couch and showers whenever he wakes up. That’s usually when you wake him up at some point mid day and go make him shower.

Not big on PDA but sometimes he’ll walk with you with a hand on your waist or holding your hand. Especially likes to hold your hand if sitting next to you and will rub his thumb atop you hand.

Tim drake (love my Bi Icon)

He loves cuddles. Tim is often consumed in work and running off so much caffeine and once he crashes and sleeps he’s cuddling with you if available and he’s OUT. Hair messy, sprawled out over you, and drooling. Be ready to be stuck there. It’s okay though because he’s absolutely adorable, messy hair galore.

Vibes heavy with working on things alongside eachother. He’s okay with just being in your presence as he works on what he needs to work on.

He may be hella smart and a great detective but when you guys first start dating he becomes an awkward nervous wreck who suddenly second guesses all abilities to read you. Like what if you secretly hate him? Or think that he’s weird?? What if he’s being to much???

He levels out after a while and is normal again don’t worry, he just gets way to nervous at first.

His love language is words of affirmation. He’ll leave you sticky notes and little cards all the time. Either it’s in your laptop or notebook that you find after you two were just hanging out, or he breaks into your really quick while out on patrol and leaves you a quick little sticky note, he also love making you cards. All of this containing how much he loves you and how much you mean to him.

A possibly toxic trait of his is that he cannot keep in touch and be there for you all of the time. If you are someone who is secure with not having constant attention from your partner then it’ll be okay but Tim is very busy and definitely can’t text all of the time or hangout all of the time.

Makes an effort to call when he can tho! He’s just not much of a texter tbh but he’ll call randomly.

When you two finally get to hang out it is yap central. Y’all are cuddling, playing games, and catching up on any and all drama and things that’s happening in your lives. Also because you guys might be able to hangout much it at least means y’all have A LOT to talk about. Also when y’all hangout it’s usually a sleepover.

When he has you meet his family he will tell you about any and all family drama, and if anything shocking happens between the bat family in front of y’all, you BET y’all are gonna be talking to each other about it later. Y’all love the drama.

Damian Wayne (not kid Damian ofc)

To have gotten close to him you’d likely have to had known him since he was a kid and also through forced proximity, probably due to his family having you around for some reason. It’s possible that you could’ve met him from school but it seems unlikely as he thinks lowly of most average people, BUT if you prove yourself as very intelligent or skilled in some way that would earn his respect.

In the case you are able to get close to him he shows his care in his own interesting way. He’s stubborn and doesn’t fully like to show that he cares about you but he’s very protective of you.

Generally a bit hard to get through to or get close to Damian because of his past. He sees opening up to people as a weakness in one way or another, but, I think over time with the support of his family (that’s not on his mother’s side ofc) he becomes more open to opening up to people.

Back to him being protective though! If you get into trouble he’d likely slightly bully you for getting yourself into trouble, sometimes he is just messing with you but other times he can’t help but feel angry at you if you did or almost got yourself seriously hurt. It’s definitely a red flag of his that he gets angry and doesn’t handle his anger well if your get yourself seriously hurt or almost so, he does try to work on it though.

Damian isn’t a complete asshole though, he still does truly care and if you visually start to get upset or break down he will take a breath and comfort you the best he can. Which isn’t well ,but, depending on how long you’ve known eachother it is something he’s been working on.

will absolutely never admit his weakness to you to anyone, not a soul, but maybe Alfred.

His family is able to see it though, they just chose not to tease him about it like they would for anyone else’s relationships in the family. They understand that feeling weak is a big thing for him and he absolutely will take it to heart if they tease him.

You’re close to the only person he’d not be a complete a menace to, still a bit of a menace though but he tries to be better for you.

also not one to cuddle much but he loves to pet your hair. You both are watching a movie and you rest your head on his lap? You will be falling asleep because how won’t stop playing with your hair.

This is because he still isn’t great with affection, he does still crave it though.

When y’all kissed for the first time he probably ran away to question his life for a little, one of his sensible family members had to tell him it’s okay to love someone and it doesn’t make him weak and his mom won’t kill him for it (well they at least wouldn’t let her)

Oh also I think his love language is acts of service. He will be fixing anything for you if needed. It’s the easiest way for him to show that he does really care about you.

Casandra Cain 💕

Would likely prefer a civilian reader who she can tell about her being a vigilante to, I say a civilian reader as you would have a much more stable schedule than compared to another vigilante.

Her love language is quality time. She absolutely love going places with you, like the aquarium, the park, a coffee shop, any place really.

Y’all have a list of places that with one of you want to visit and you two slowly try to get through that list.

Cass loves people watching, please people watch with her. Y’all can then talk about what your seeing, Cass would have an especially good eye too with her amazing ability to read body language. You will still have to do most of the talking though because she isn’t much of a talker. It makes her happy though to just listen to you talk, she finds your voice soothing.

She’s very attentive to your needs and is very very quick to notice if something is wrong.

Her flaw which isn’t even a bad one at all is that she’s quick to always try and do something to make you feel better. Which that doesn’t sound bad but sometimes being able to just feel your emotions is very important instead of her just instantly trying to make you feel better.

With communication though she gets better at communicating with you about if you want yo be cheered up or if you just need to feel your emotions and just be upset for a little.

It takes her a while to be open to affection with you but after a while she really likes cuddles.

Scary big dog gf, appearance wise she’s not that scary but oh boy can she give of big dog gf energy as soon as anyone comes up to y’all who’s hitting on either one of y’all. Oh if walking in the streets of Gotham and probably about to get mugged she’ll scare that person off in an instant.

She’s sweet but absolutely do not underestimate her- do not forget she kicks so much ass.

[julietcpulet]

Can we PLEASE talk about Maomao giving Jinshi MIXED SIGNALS instead of flat out rejecting his advances? Jinshi is under fire constantly for forcing his advances on Maomao but I don't think Maomao has ever said NO to his face. Now, one could argue that this isn't befitting of her status as Jinshi is an Imperial member, so saying no would be disrespectful... but SHE knows who Jinshi is. She knows Jinshi would NEVER force her if he knew she didn't want it, so then why is she hiding behind her "I'm a commoner" excuse? Why not just tell him that she isn't interested? Instead of saying some vague shit like "it could NEVER work between us!" when she knows DAMN WELL, Jinshi will do ANYTHING to achieve his goals. She has witnessed firsthand in the rear palace how committed he is to see things through the end, so it doesn't really make sense for her to do all this unless a part of her secretly wants Jinshi to try. Not to mention the amount of times she's actually shown care for him PUBLICLY. Jinshi is just as confused as everyone else, so why is he getting flamed for trying to pursue the woman he likes who's done nothing but constantly give him hope?

Whew, putting me on the spot with this one 😅

I’m not sure if you’ve read the light novels so I’m going to just address this kind of broadly without trying to spoil anything or without light novel quotations. I’ll take it that you’ve at least seen the anime so I’ll use some moments from there and hopefully be able to address everything with that.

So, about Maomao sending mixed signals, it actually fits in perfectly with her characterization as an unreliable narrator. Basically, this means we can’t always trust what she’s saying because she often deliberately deceives herself, acts as if she knows nothing when she does or has no feelings when the opposite is true. This makes watching her behavior all that more important than listening to the words she says. This factors in to her relationship with Jinshi immensely as she never truly puts off his advances because as she begins to know who he truly is underneath the masks, she does develop feelings for him. Her actions speak louder than her words do. Her accepting more of Jjnshi’s touch, looking calm in his presence, seeking out his help with problems like Lishu’s ghost. She goes to and thinks about him without much realizing it and that is the telling factor in the honesty of her feelings beneath what she may say. If people take Maomao at face value they miss the genuineness of her character underneath and the beauty of her developing relationship with Jinshi.

You’re right that Maomao doesn’t ever come out and tell Jinshi no to his pursuit of her affection. To me there are several progressive reasons for this:

1. In the beginning Maomao deceives herself he couldn’t be interested in her to that degree due to their separation in status. Also, she does have deep seated insecurities related to her looks and being a servant so Jinshi’s interest merely doesn’t seem realistic to her, as such she doesn’t feel the need to turn him down. Even when they are in the cave together and have become so much closer she continues to make statements about them having a “master / servant” relationship when they have gone past that. She doesn’t entertain he could see her any other way so to her his feelings can be dismissed.

2. As things progress she sees his advances as his “childish behavior” which is a part of him she grows to know as his true self. This in turn brings her to develop genuine affection and feelings. However due to her own denial she cannot voice said feelings aloud or express them in a normal way but neither does she want to reject what to her has become a connection she feels safe and familiar with in Jinshi. This means she isn’t going to reject him outright and her outward actions such as not moving away when he touches her or making faces shows her growing comfort with him. As in the last episode she says she “missed this atmosphere” she had only when Jinshi is with her.

3. Finally, a part of Maomao at this point in the narrative (if you’re only at the Shi clan part of the anime) is starting to develop feelings but lacks understanding of herself enough to grasp the depth of them or how to express that at all. Due to her rough upbringing with her parents history and being raised by sisters who loved her in their own way but didn’t know how to fully meet her needs, she’s had to suppress much of her emotions her whole life. As such she lacks the ability yet to be clear about what she wants, needs or feels about a given person or situation. Even though it was clear she was beginning to understand Jinshi was royalty for some time, she dismissed it purposefully. She does the same thing with her own emotions. She won’t say no to his feelings because at this point she’s come to have her own kind of appreciation for being on the receiving end of them but lacks the capacity still to reciprocate, even if her affection is growing.

For Maomao it isn’t about her secretly hiding behind excuses or wanting Jinshi to fight for her like women who expect men to win their affections. In her case it’s that both she and Jinshi have a distorted sense of what love is and are learning together at the same time. She’s not keeping her feelings from him on purpose, she doesn’t understand them herself and ironically, it’s Jinshi’s unfailing pursuit of her that helps her open up to a better understanding of her own emotions to where eventually she can stop running and confront what she feels for him.

As for people being upset with Jinshi’s pursuit of her despite how uninterested she may seem, that is due to a lack of comprehension regarding the nuance of their dynamic. We see time and time again that Maomao has no problem with the ways in which Jinshi treats her despite her protests. This is further evidence of her ability to say one thing and mean another. She will talk of being put off by Jinshi involving her in his buisness, yet she’s the one going ten times as hard to solve the problems once involved, also sometimes making her own problems and involving him afterward. If people do not grasp that Maomao has a knack for self-deception than they will miss all the important aspects of how she relates to people in the plot.

Also, due to modern sentiments, people take things too much at face value with Jinshi seeming like the typical man who won’t take a hint and Maomao the exasperated woman getting hit on by a guy she has no interest in. This isn’t the case at all between them pretty early on. Maomao is put-off by him more at first due to his sparkly persona as the palace nymph because she discerns how fake it is quickly and doesn’t like it when he acts that way. He continues to pursue her because she’s the one woman who notices his beauty but also sees the person beneath any mask he puts on and sees his value beyond how he looks. So anyone who speaks badly of Jinshi is usually looking at his actions through a basic modern lense and not taking the time to see the depth woven into the story.

Overall Maomao isn’t trying to lead Jinshi on and he knows this. It’s why she’s often frustrated with him because he can read her so well. So his pursuit of her isn’t unfounded. What is seen as her initial resistance quickly turns into a soft affection which is where the anime is at currently. Hope this answers some of your questions and clears up Maomao’s feelings towards Jinshi a bit 😄

[howlsofbloodhounds]

TW: SENSITIVE TOPICS??

Because Color canonically almost died. (if it weren't for Gaster having to pick up the broken pieces that were left of him when trying to escape the void) do you think Color would be this desperate and suicidal for freedom? Has he gained his kindness to save Killer from knowing how it feels to be caged in pits of despair and darkness?

-COUGHZ.. one of your mutuals:3 (GUESS WHICH ONE!!)

i cannot guess because i cannot handle being publicly wrong and also embarrassed ever. /hj

but i am also not good at remembering moot names except for a few, and also i have a moot with a typing quirk where the ‘s’ in words are replaced with Z’s. Like thiz. so that stands out.

but i can only think of 3 moots rn who talk about color as much as i do (theres probably more but these r all i can remember). those are Ozzie, toffee, and ano. but i ultimately have no way of knowing 😔. I don’t appreciate being put on the spot like this, anon. /lh

and i dont think he gained kindness from this exactly, but rather his experience gave him first hand understanding of the feelings—he can tell when someone is only doing or saying they want something because it’ll appease others, convincing themselves they want it too, and so that makes everything okay.

i think he is always pretty kind, even without understanding something or someone, but his understanding and his perseverance and patience in trying to understand is what stands out to killer particularly. his kindness also stands out a lot too, but so does the sense of intense injustice color feels on his behalf.

so i think its a mix of personal understanding, perseverance in trying to understand when he fails to initially, kindness, and his sense of justice (such as his belief that another’s autonomy should always be respected and protected) that spurs him into trying to find a right way to approach killer. his bravery to keep trying and integrity are spurred on by the more he starts to understand, and relate.

so i think that even if color couldn’t personally relate, he’d still try to save killer—because he can see how it feels, all over his face. he can see how his words do not match his actions do not match his facial expressions. but it’s because he knows how it feels, has experience with it, that he gets anywhere with killer at all. because that understanding signaled safety for stage 1.

which was another big hang up killer had with swap—that swap didn’t, couldn’t, know what he feels, despite how swap claimed to know how killer “doesn’t want this” and “wants to saved.”

because how in the world could swap know these things about killer, when he himself doesn’t even know what he wants. color understands this, and how it feels—and he doesn’t approach killer from a “i know what’s good for you” angle.

he’s able to see that killer doesn’t truly want what he says he does in Stage 2 (that he’s not happy with what he currently has and what he currently does, despite all his claims about the fun he’s having and the player wants it so he wants it, and how nightmare “asked” him to, and he wants this he wants this and every single rational he can come up with that’ll make it all okay and something he chose to do rather than something he couldn’t even say no to) and he attempts to get him to admit that and be honest with himself for once, but he doesn’t ever say killer has to do this, or do that, or think this. just that he should stop hurting himself for others—something color knows all too well.

it is killer that asks to be saved, because he wants to be. and he tells color this because he can tell that color understands—which is also probably the reason why killer kept trying to push him away.

why he keeps pushing him away in stage 2–because killer definitely wouldn’t like someone trying to understand him when he’s like that. his whole thing is trying to remain unpredictable, and not give anyone any power or control over him—especially not over his mind.

he just needs awhile to realize and trust that color has no intentions to cause him harm, and isn’t trying to hurt him by “taking away” what he knows and rather it is what he knows that is hurting him.

Alexa, play Hey Ya! by OutKast.

off topic, but i love that color never rushed killer to make any type of choice—just was there to help, support, and challenge him. make him aware how the situation he’s in now isn’t helping him at all and it doesn’t have to be that way, that theres always something new out there and he’s willing to show him—however long it takes, whenever he’s ready, if killer ever wants it. that this life isn’t the only option left available to him.

[soapoet]

PJO pick-a-card reading

Will Solace; What you need to know right now

01.

Your luck is increasing, and you may even find it suspicious because things rarely go your way. Yet something seems to have shifted. The sun is at last shining and helping your crops grow and bud and bloom, your manifestations popping up like spring flowers. The sun is shining upon you too, and you are glowing. You're attracting people and opportunities alike, and the air feels crisp and fresh like after a fall of rain, and you're finding the motivation to push your projects along. And the push is paying off now, and you have more certainty in the direction you're going in, and perhaps even found a different way to approach matters previously proven to be a hindrance to how you operate. Things feel more natural, not forced.

Dare to ask, because now ye shall receive with ease. You'll feel lighter and brighter, and find charm and beauty in your reflection and your work where previously you saw flaws. You're kinder to yourself and others, place yourself above all as intended without feeling selfish for it. You're finding horizons easier to expand upon and more readily attract what you want and need. You have solutions to problems of both yourself and others, seemingly carrying missing pieces to many puzzles in your pockets. Make use of them now, and do not hesitate to lend a helping hand or encouraging word to those less fortunate.

02.

Thing are taking quite the nose dive, but fret not, for help is on the way. The landing won't be smooth, but there will be survivors. Accept the help when it arrives and stand up for yourself boldly in the face of injustice. You need not carry your burdens all alone, and new or unexpected help is soon to walk in to assist in carrying them onwards. Task management especially will be made easier, and you will have a clearer understanding of what to do and where to go and who to speak to. You may experience a stroke of luck in the most unexpected situation, or when most needed. Try your best to keep your head above water and do not let yourself be dragged down by despair to the depths. There is no need for you to return to rock bottom anymore.

It is always darkest before dawn, so hang in there. You're more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Avoid getting fixated on minute details and ignore any issue that is small in the grand scheme of things. When you feel like you're drowning you must remain calm and focus solely on staying afloat. Preserve your energy for the hardest battles and know that you won't have to struggle on your own for long. Reach out for help in earnest when you cannot move forward, and do not minimise your struggles. Instead be honest in how dire your situation really is so that others can truly understand the urgency. This is not the time to make yourself small or tiptoe around the problem and drop hints like breadcrumbs.

03.

The time has come, which may concern you, though you knew in your heart all along it was inevitable. It's time for a leap of faith, and a new beginning. Sudden shifts and changes are being unleashed, but you're more than capable of navigating these new currents. It can seem as though you're receiving justice, a revisit to a previous chapter left without closure, with words unsaid and actions undone. You have more confidence now, the amount needed to face this. Life may take quite the unexpected turn as a result of your newfound power as you get to rewrite the past and set in motion the next chapter to embark on. Ghosts from the path now walk among the living and you fear them no longer.

Trust your intuition, it won't lead you astray. New beginnings are afoot, some with these very ghosts from your past, and some with people who to you feel otherwise blurry and without edges. Those who you have previously failed to get a hold of and read properly, who left you feeling uncertain or incapable of pursuit. Mixed signals are removed as the frequency of the radio finally aligns and you hear them clearly, enough to judge the situation and say your piece. You're better able to strike and communicate your side, your thoughts and feelings, and set things up to really begin working in your favour after such a long period of stagnation, uncertainty, and indecision.

[bsverryin]

: ̗̀➛ Sending genshin men the wrong message

Part 2

Who?

╰┈➤ Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

Situation?

╰┈➤ you sent the wrong message to your boss which was supposed to be for your brother.

✎ this is an au !! Characters is your boss who likes you secretly. ⚠️ Use of cuss words... This is requested!! 🫶 enjoy <3 cannot assure you of perfect grammar but I hope everyone likes it !!

: ̗̀➛ ZHONGLI

Your brain was so dead that you gave zhongli the wrong message and when you realized it all you could say was "oh" but it screamed everything. You tried to not let your boss get a glimpse of you in any way. It was so embarrassing that you're talking about how your boss acts. He didn't really care about others opinions whether it's from gossip or truth but YOU literally just sent it to him through message.

He was used to people calling him "grandpa" so it wasn't a big deal to him but it did make him think how does a grandpa act and how does he act it like everyone says? So the next day he called you into his office you just gave him a very awkward smile when you thought he was distraught to you.

"For how long do you as well as the staff want the rest you mentioned?" You stopped giving him an awkward smile and glanced at him with a blank expression, was your boss really asking you about that? You felt more embarrassed that you didn't know what to say so then he finally talked again.

"I'm serious about it, please try to look more pleasant in front of me, Ms. Y/n." At this moment, you just wanted to say sorry and run away and never meet him again but you know you can't so you tried your best to act chill when your body and mind feels anxious. It's making you nervous enough when you see your boss in the hallway and talking to him never crossed your mind, you were used to messaging him and giving him email for work purposes but talking to him with another attitude? He must be so disappointed.

"You're already giving us the rest that we deserve sir! We don't have to ask for more. We truly appreciate you. I was only messing around"

Zhongli felt relieved when he heard that as you gave him another awkward smile. After that, Zhongli gave everyone more free-time and tried to understand each one of you especially you. You were wrong when you said that he gives off grandpa vibes because all you can see right now was him trying to make everyone feel less intimated and comfortable around him. He thanked you for that and for the wrong message you sent because you wouldn't ever date him or know him better if it wasn't for that silly behavior of yours.

: ̗̀➛ KAEYA

At first, you thought it was fine sending those wrong messages to your boss, Kaeya but the womanizer part was straight up embarrassing. All he ever did was try to be nice to everyone then you called him "womanizer". The only reason why you sent the wrong message to him instead of your brother was because you're too excited thinking about your boss.

The next day after you didn't have to worry that much because he said he found it funny and you didn't have to say sorry, he was just confused at first and thought it was for him but then he realized that you sent the wrong messages and laughed with you about it after explaining it to him.

"Who knows if I'm a womanizer or not?" He was playful when you talked about those messages, he talked like he was really enjoying it and doesn't ever want to forget it no matter how many times you said that you didn't mean to write those messages and just forget it like it never happened.

He continued guiding everyone, he's very great and fun that was one part of the reason why you liked him more than a boss. You knew he won't ever accept your love for him that's why you just kept everything secretly for the sake of your crazy self but he gives those mixed signals that you didn't know what he really felt. Maybe he's truly a womanizer and you're one of his girls but he looks too sincere sometimes.

When you told him how you felt about him, you expected him to laugh about it but instead he blushed and told you he also likes you from the moment you sent those funny wrong messages, you gave him an annoyed look when he told you about those messages again but it's destiny just bringing you two together.

: ̗̀➛ CHILDE

Childe found it funny, like you just made his whole year exciting because of that message but you on the other side are too embarrassed to even face him. Childe was sometimes strict but mostly he's not, he doesn't want to overwork his employees. He avoids doing that, and he's just strict when he needs to like when everyone's gossiping around and completely forgetting about their work, it makes him really mad but when his employees are working really hard, he gives them expensive snacks and coffee that's why his employees were loyal to him and you're one of them, he's just that rich!.

So minutes later when you sent him the wrong messages, you entered his office and he saw you, he immediately gave you a big smile like he was having fun. You immediately gave him every file and emails that were sent for him and when you're about to leave he called out your name.

"Y/N.."

"Yes, sir?" You acted calm and not bothered but your inner thoughts were slowly killing you inside. What if he gets mad about what you said and never buys anyone those free food and coffee anymore?

"How many of those snacks would you like to eat today, Y/N?" You never ever expected those words from him like was he being sarcastic or was he serious?

"Any is enough sir!" And you took the safe way. You were hesitating whether to say I'm sorry or you needed 5 of those snacks he gave because you still haven't eaten and your stomach was rumbling like crazy.

"I'll have it delivered. Please get at least 3 or more, Y/N. I don't want my employees to be hungry while working." He said as he gave you another big smile and thanked you for giving him those emails and files as you left his office you were happy and jumping around like a kid, he said you can get at least 3 or more and you really heard it right!

After that moment, he always gives everyone those free snacks and coffee and always an extra for you. He messages you sometimes in your number where you sent those wrong messages to him and you just found each other being friends and liking each other not just platonically. You always make him the happiest that he can be and he appreciates you, so when you started dating he'd give you everything that you're craving for just to make sure you're full and never hungry.

[tigertofu]

You’ve probably already wrote about this but what about headcanons for Trevor as a husband and father?

i actually havent written abt him as a husband and i have done some headcanons of him as a new father (heres that list if ur interested n havent seen it already) but i'll very happily do more so ty for this request !! 💕💕 love thinking abt him in Domestic situations........

pairing: reader/Trevor (no gendered language used for reader)

summary: headcanon list of Trevor as a husband and father.

cw's: child endangerment ?

wordcount: 1,044

as a husband : 

• when it comes to Trevor and marriage, canonically, there’s some uhhh mixed signals? he’s said to Michael that he isn’t “the marrying type” but we also have seen him beg total strangers to marry him (like Mary Ann). i think, if he were to seriously consider marrying somebody, it would be after dating for quiiiiite awhile. he’d want to make absolutely sure that the person he proposes to is someone who will truly dedicate themselves to being with him for the rest of their life cuz boy howdy i cannot imagine his abandonment issues and a possible divorce mixing well at all. he’d wanna make sure 100% that the marriage will last forever. but once he does propose, it will be both sentimental and casual. probably somewhere important to the two of you, like the place where you first met, or had your first date, or fucked for the first time.

• the second you two are married, he’ll be overjoyed by the fact that someone loves him enough to want to spend the rest of their life with him, so he’ll be coasting through ecstatic, marital bliss for a long while after the wedding. just in the best of moods. he’ll be extremely clingy during this time, more than ever. smothering really. he’ll wanna spend as much time as possible with you. he’ll love to show you off every chance he gets; mention that he’s married to a wonderful person every chance he gets, to everyone he comes into contact with. 

• he’ll expect you to move in with him (if you aren’t already living together at his place) after getting married cuz there’s no way in hell he’s moving out of his trailer if he doesn’t have to. he’ll let you renovate/redecorate/clean the place as much as you want, though.  

• one caveat for this newly married phase: he won’t immediately understand that being married = assumed mutual monogamy. and this isn’t because of any malicious reason at all; he’ll just continue on enjoying strippers as he always has and he won’t try to hide it because he won’t even be aware that he's doing something generally frowned upon. you’ll quickly notice that he’s still visiting the Vanilla Unicorn for more than just business reasons. once you tell him that hey, being married means not fucking (or groping or ogling) anybody but your spouse, he’ll knock off the stripper habit for good. he might have a mini breakdown and assume you’re about to tell him you’re leaving him when you first start the “hey no more strippers” convo, but will calm down once you tell him that you aren’t planning on a divorce or anything. 

• he will frequently bring you little gifts. bouquets of dandelions picked from the side of the highway or flowers yoinked from some random house’s garden, takeout dinner from your favorite restaurant, articles of clothing that he sees in the shops while out alone and assumes you would look good in (that will also probably not be anywhere near your size or style). it’s the thought that counts, though. and every time he brings you home a little treat or something special, he will present it to you with the biggest, self–satisfied grin because he knows that that’s what good husbands do and he is being the totally greatest husband ever.   

• he will constantly ask if he’s being a good husband and will need frequent reassurance that yes, he is being good. because of his abandonment issues, he will always be a little weary about treating you well.

---------

as a father: 

• imo Trevor as a father can be pretty much summed up in three words: protective, problematic, and proud. 

• from early on in the child’s life he will be sure to pound into their head that they are THE smartest, strongest, bestest son/daughter ever. this is for two reasons. 1 (subconscious): his mother and her myriad of boyfriends/husbands/johns never gave him a single encouraging word while he was growing up and he will want to kind of heal from that by being the exact opposite with his own child. and 2 (very much conscious): any child of his is just going to be the Strongest Smartest Bestest Kid Ever because duh, they came from good stock.

• he may not be the most involved dad (busy with his work and such), but he will be a fun dad. so fun it’s dangerous. kid sees their dad handling a gun one day and expresses interest? time for Baby’s First Firearm! who cares if they aren’t even old enough to write their own name? doesn’t matter. it’s a tough world out there; get that kid a fucking pistol and teach them how to exercise their 2nd Amendment rights ASAP. arguments may occur when you try to tell Trevor that no, the kid is not old enough for a gun or a knife or a dirtbike or fire crackers or any other number of age–inappropriate things. despite being extremely protective of his offspring, the largest threat to their wellbeing will be, inadvertently, him. 

• he’ll probably wanna “”””””homeschool“””””” the kid because (according to him) fuck the government they teach useless stuff in public schools nowadays anyways and his kid isn't gonna waste their precious formative years learning about US presidents and the fucking water cycle no sirree they're gonna learn how to make it out in the Real World. curriculum will include how to shoot at the earliest age you are okay with the kid handling a gun, how to drive as soon as they’re tall enough to reach the gas pedal of Trevor’s Bodhi, how to deal with cops and the shady characters that inhabit Sandy Shores, how to scrap, etc etc etc.

• the kid will absolutely love Trevor though. like absolutely adore him and very much look up to him. he already has a bit of experience with handling kids because of being around for Jimmy and Tracey's childhoods, but there will be a few things in the parenting department that would be better left up to you. like how to healthily process emotions, how to politely interact with other people, how to maintain personal hygiene, etc.

[let-us-cultivate-our-garden]

So I don’t know how you feel about redemption arcs, but I was curious about your opinions on this take of it.

https://www.tumblr.com/rainydelusionpeanut/730646438655262720

Redemption arcs are like any other narrative tool; they are there to serve the character and plot and any other discussion about whether it is "deserved" or if the character properly groveled enough is more a matter of preference.

I think redemption arcs get a lot of flack because it is very easy for them to be done poorly; your villain's turn to the good side is sudden or out-of-character, the villain's crimes are never properly addressed, the hero characters just accept them no questions asked, the arc in question is too quickly paced, all of these is simply poor writing, not the trope itself.

I don't believe the person in the redemption arc needs to hate themselves and turn into a pathetic loser to signal that they are no longer a threat. And I definitely do not like the idea that they cannot receive any kindness or gentleness until after they have sufficiently begged for forgiveness. That feels more like a sick desire from the audience to watch a former villain humiliate themselves just to receive basic compassion.

The most important components to a proper redemption arc is not how "pathetic" the character is, but in the mechanics: what causes their paradigm shift? How do they respond to it? How do they reconcile the person they once were with the person they're trying to be?

Zuko is the oft-trotted out example for redemption arcs in media and for good reason. But let's look at another: Jaime Lannister (from the books, the TV show basically assassinated his character).

Jaime starts as being a highly arrogant, self-serving bastard who was willing to kill a child for stumbling upon his secrets. But he was innocent once and dreamed of being a fairy tale knight. That honor forced him to make the decision to kill the Mad King Aerys in order to save King's Landing from being burnt to the ground. But in doing so, he broke his oath as Kingsguard and is widely reviled for it. His paradigm shift is when he is kidnapped and gets his sword hand cut off, forcing him to confront the demons of his past and what his actual values and beliefs are. Throughout his redemption arc, he is beaten literally and figuratively, but he still retains his old pride and charm and he uses his infamous reputation not for his own selfish needs but to aid others. Jaime is also aware that it doesn't matter if he apologizes to those he wronged; he's not seeking forgiveness but to make right in a world filled with cruelties and atrocities. He is on his way to truly being an honorable knight, albeit in his own unconventional way. It should be noted that since the books aren't complete, Jaime's arc isn't either, and he's still effectively on Team Lannister, but now he's trying to be a better person.

Story arcs like Jaime Lannister's demonstrate how complex a redemption arc can be; he never begs for forgiveness because he knows it won't be accepted, he uses his status to achieve his goals all while trying to adhere to a moral code, he's still on the same side that devastated the kingdom, (and this is A Song of Ice and Fire, hardly anyone's hands are clean) but he keeps his men in line from committing further atrocities.

Ultimately, I think redemption arcs should be about the process of bettering yourself, not the end goal. Good redemption arcs show that people are a mix of good and evil and that it's always possible to change if you're willing to put in the work.

But, and this is key, it shouldn't be about being a Good Person, but about improvement. There are no "good" or "bad" people, just people that made choices.

[sakurarisen]

Although Sera's back is covered by one large tattoo of a leaping koi fish, a reminder to keep looking and moving forward and not let her past tear her down and into pieces, every so often a little more can be seen underneath the colorful ink. This 'more' is an odd, fractured mark in a mix of deep and light blue, pieces of which are scattered across the top half of her back and focus mainly around the back of her shoulders, shoulder blades, and upper back - An odd mark labeled as a birthmark by her parents when she was but an infant, but also one that is an exact match for more red-leaning marks resembling scars across her eldest brother Thoma's back.

Despite being told it's a birthmark and not bothering to give it a second thought, the odd markings are, in truth, only pieces of a much larger mark that slowly becomes visible the more Sera taps into power she truly shouldn't be getting even remotely near - The power hidden beneath the 'frozen lake' within her. Tapping into her magic ever so slowly reveals more of it and brightens the colors, until it no longer hides underneath the colorful ink of her koi, and instead almost shines above it, forming a simple outline of fluffy wings reminiscent of the phoenixes of legends and mythos. The more she continues to use magic, however, the more it stands out, a gradient of icy blue to a rich, deeper blue similar to that of snow and ice atop a deep lake in the evening, and over time eventually begins to actually glow, albeit faintly and only truly noticable in the dark.

Unknown to Sera, this 'birthmark' she's always shrugged off is actually a heavy nod to what lay underneath that internal frozen lake: Her true power as Aria, the Snow Fenix. In her original life as Aria, the markings were far more obvious and traced across her back, shoulders, and upper arms to just past her elbows, as well as peeking up along the sides of her neck and over towards her chest whenever she had used her power to hide her wings through her magic, leaving her with an outline of her wings along her back and marks that once resembled veins of ice magic that seemed to rise up and vanish back into her skin. The various lifetimes used to shift into Sera should have prevented those marks from appearing once she'd fully assumed a human form, sealing her power and magic underneath that internal heavy sheet of ice, yet just like her brother, nothing has quite gone exactly to plan.

Though these magical marks should be hidden, they've refused being buried like the era they can from, and still show themselves as a mere fragment of their original clarity and strength, a tiny, uncontrollable leak of Aria that will forever signal Sera is no mere human no matter how she tries to hide it throughout her various lifetimes. However, with the vast majority of her magic sealed underneath the frozen lake within, the marks will never shine like they once did, and now serve as a sign of Sera unknowingly pushing herself too far, either knocking her unconscious or rendering her bedbound to rest before they can become any brighter than the typical glowstick, or manifest anything larger than the fluffy wing outline.

Though she sleeps, Aria cannot be fully, completely, totally hidden any more than her brother Aelius - She can only do her best and strengthen and thicken that layer of ice with each lifetime, even if there will always be signs Sera isn't quite fully human... Signs that are, thankfully, all too easy to miss without a critical and overthinking eye.

This HC also applies to @yoroiis Thoma, and has her approval and permission for posting.

[hournites]

Alright, let me try to break this down in a way that should be easily able to understand. 

We can live in a world in which we acknowledge four things that co-exist:

1. That Rick was horrendously out of line to Beth and her parents, and that he should have never opened his mouth and said what he did to the only people in this show who are truly concerned for his wellbeing. Full stop. That he is in the wrong and is responsible for this. There’s no “he doesn’t owe them anything” debate bullshit.  Rick is constantly looked out for out of the love Beth has in her heart for him. So for him to throw “don’t ever tell me what to do” in her face is nasty, and any discourse trying to defend that is gross. Rick’s life was saved out of the hospitality of the Chapels for free. They were willing to give him somewhere to stay to recover. Beth was going to be there for him. She was STILL going to be there for him as he stormed out. All of the Chapels were calling after Rick. But they were right to let him leave because he posed a threat in that moment, and they absolutely have the right to feel safe in their own home. 

2. That the intervention would have likely gone a lot better if the Chapels were more gentle with their approach. Rick’s entire orphaned childhood consisted of being boxed in a corner for his actions and he is failing to see that the intervention was out of love. But that doesn’t mean that they were not in the right for handling the situation the way they did, because he was unpredictable and the mixed signals were all over the place. Beth knew Rick the best, and despite being firm, she was understanding. Rick saw that and he reacted well to that in some few short moments, but ultimately couldn’t give up control. Because for Beth to take the hourglass from him would be for Beth to have power over him, which scares him. This sense of power? That’s something Rick’s brain right now is screaming at him that he cannot part with, hence the clear delusions that he thinks he’s never been better despite the fact he’s stumbling around like a drunk looking like he’d been mauled by a bear. 

3. That Rick’s addiction was talking in that scene. That Rick needs help and deserves to get help. That a clean Rick would not talk to Beth like that, the girl who he had just told less than episode before that he loved because she was a part of his family. Who for over a season and a half had always been protective over and reserved his most soft-spoken voice for when talking to her. 

4. That Rick is a depressed teen with zero support system, raised for ten years by an alcoholic with the only consistency of family dynamics = verbal abuse (which has and always was the case far before the hourglass was tampered with this season), and it makes somewhat sense that he’ll resort to Matt tendencies as a coping mechanism, even if he himself at previous points in the series was disgusted by that behaviour. That said, just giving up on him is not the way to go about this, even if he does not want the help. 

Short and sweet: Cannot defend Rick’s actions because he’s an addict, but we should not let Rick be thrown in the trash, just because he’s an addict. 

[christ0pher-evans]

Healed Heart

Final Part of the Shattered Heart Mini-Series

Pairings: Chris Evans x Reader Warnings: 18+ Minor Smut / Angst / Cheating / Arguing / Mentions of Divorce / Swearing Word Count: 2.9k A/N: So here is the final part of my mini-series. I honestly cannot thank you so much for the support on this, it means a lot to me and I love you guys for it!!! Please let me know what you think. I hope you’re happy with the ending because it took me a really long time to decide how I could finish off this story with justice. Thank you again, truly😘 Please reblog and like🖤

Part One: Shattered Heart Part Two: Troubled Heart Part Three: Bewildered Heart

 ♡

Three tortuous days had passed since you had last seen or spoke to Chris, three days since you kicked him out your home. You’d had nightmares about being in a loveless and hateful marriage, steamy dreams about your recent rendezvous and nights where you just felt so alone that you had cried yourself to sleep. It was safe to say that the past three days had been exhausting. 

Although fucking Chris in the kitchen during a harrowing argument probably wasn’t the smartest thing you’ve done, it led to some realisations about how you wanted to proceed with your marriage. You definitely didn’t regret anything you said, or did with Chris that day and that was what you found important amongst the disaster. Not regretting your decisions meant that you knew you wanted to move forward in your marriage, and not look backwards; something you would consider a big first step in repairing your marriage. You knew you couldn’t forget what happened and would have to address it before moving forward but you knew you had the desire to push through the hard times. 

You’d called Chris that morning and told him that you wanted him to come home, not that he could or should but that you wanted him at home with you. Emotionally, it felt like the right decision, because at the end of the day he was your husband and you missed him. Practically, it is his home as well and it was the only place you could both be to sort out your marriage with privacy. You didn’t want to be surrounded by the media or by prying eyes. Hell, you didn’t even want the opinion of family or friends, this was between you and Chris only. 

As you tidied up the house a bit and thought about the moment Chris would walk through the door, it was clear to you that no matter how angry or hurt you were, Chris was your endgame. You had played all the variables over and over in your head loads of times, societal rights and wrongs about cheating when you realised, fuck society. You would never leave your husband over this, and that was okay. This was your story and who cared what anyone else thought, because you didn’t want to give up. You owe it to yourself, to your marriage, to try and fix everything before throwing it away. 

For the first few days, Chris slept in the spare room and you danced around each other, trying to find your new normal whilst you navigated the mess that was your marriage. 

Once the first week passed, Chris continued to sleep in the spare room and you finally plucked up the courage to address the problem that had been plaguing your marriage for weeks, months if you consider back to when the problem initially started. 

The day you decided to bring it up, you had finished work early and Chris was already at home when you arrived back around 3pm. 

Walking through the house, you finally found Chris in the home office. 

“I thought you were filming today?” Chris looked up at the sound of your voice. 

“Oh hi sweetheart. I didn’t hear you come in? Um, yeah I was but, uh.. she turned up to re-film some scenes so I came home.” 

You winced at the thought of her and Chris together but was quickly calmed by the effort Chris had made to avoid her. 

Clearing your throat, you found the courage to reply. 

“Oh, er, did you not have to keep filming?” Leaning against the door frame, you settled in for a longer conversation. 

“It wasn’t anything that I can’t just do another day when she isn’t there. I’ve got some scripts to read over anyway so it’s fine.” 

You sighed. This seemed like an appropriate time to bring up the unspoken topic so you could start moving forward but your anxiety felt crippling in that very moment, you didn’t know if you could face it. 

“Sweetheart..” Chris whispered, “Y/N, sit down, please..” 

You moved to sit down on the small sofa by the window, tucking your feet up and under yourself. Chris moved to join you, sitting fairly close but not touching you as you hadn’t crossed that boundary since he came home. 

“Look baby, I’ve been home a week now and we’ve just walked around this house like we are two strangers. I need you to talk to me, tell me what you’re thinking because you’re the one that told me you wanted me to come home?”

You looked up from your lap and straight into Chris’s eyes, “You do feel like a stranger to me.”

You heard his voice hitch in his throat, clearly caught off guard by your blunt answer. 

“I’m still me, sweetheart. I’m the same person you met seven years ago and I’m the same person you married four years ago. Please don’t think I’ve changed.” 

A lone tear falls straight from your eye, as you whimper, “I miss him.” 

It takes Chris no longer than a second to pull you into his lap, all boundaries obliterated, as he hugs you like his life depends on it. As you cry all you can hear is Chris repeatedly whispering, ‘I’m here. I’m still me. I love you.’ 

You shudder at the softened and sweet contact, something you hadn’t felt for weeks but you embraced it, leaning further into Chris’s chest for comfort. 

Once you had basked in the feeling for a bit longer, shutting the world and your problems out, you knew you had to move away. It would have been unfair to give Chris mixed signals as your marriage was still clearly on the rocks. 

Sitting back up on the sofa, you composed yourself. 

“I know you are still you Chris, but you’ve changed to me now. This you..”, you sigh before continuing, “..you’re tainted and untrustworthy, you’re the man that cheated on me, you’re not my husband. I need to get to know you again, and I need to learn to love our marriage again, and learn to trust you again. It’s going to take time.” 

“B-but you want to try?”

“Of course I want to try. Endgame right? That hasn’t changed for me but other things have to change, we cannot continue like this otherwise if something else were to happen, I don’t think we would survive it.” 

“I am infinitely yours sweetheart. Forever.” You watch Chris smile sweetly. 

Feeling slightly more confident and feeling like Chris has really been listening to you, you knew it was time to talk about her. 

“Okay, well whilst we are here, I think we should talk about her. It’s the biggest hurdle for me, and I can’t move past it. I just can’t deal with you seeing her right now, not whilst I’m learning to trust you again. I’ll never trust her so I need to 100% be able to trust you again.” 

Grabbing hold of your hand, Chris nods in understanding.

“That is completely fine sweetheart. For now, how about I just work my schedule around when she isn’t there and wait until you are comfortable before I finish filming my scenes with her? I don’t care if it postpones the film, or they replace me, you are more important to me than any film and I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you!” 

You nod feebly, shocked and relieved with the instant commitment Chris was happy to make to save your marriage and earn your trust back. 

An awkward silence falls over the room at the monumental conversation you just had. Needing a moment to yourself, you decide to make a quick exit. 

‘Um, I think I’ll go and grab a shower before dinner.” Quickly leaving, you rush to your ensuite. 

The shower provided a solace to digest what just happened, a few tears falling as you feel overwhelmed. But you left the bathroom with a renewed sense of hope. 

It was another week of tough conversations and private marriage counselling before you felt you had reached another milestone in fixing your marriage. 

You were in the ensuite of your bedroom when Chris came in to say goodnight. He was merely wearing a pair of pyjamas bottoms that amusingly you were wearing the matching top of. 

He chuckled as he leant against the wall, “I was looking for that top.” 

You giggled lightly and blushed, using all your self control to not drool over seeing Chris topless. Unfortunately, you had never been good at hiding any of your emotions from Chris and you saw him smirk slightly at your flustered state. 

“Okay, well, I just came to say goodnight, so uh- night I guess..” 

You mumbled a goodnight back as Chris turned to walk out the room. A rush of affection from the interaction washed over you causing you to shout back towards Chris to catch his attention. 

“Um, stay..” 

You saw the startled look on his face as the words left your lips. 

“Stay with me tonight..”, you repeated as if you were confirming your own words. 

“Yeah, course I’ll stay, if that’s what you want?”, he shuffled back towards you. 

“It is what I want.” 

You smiled at him sweetly before you brushed past him and moved towards the bed, leaving him a bit stunned in the bathroom. 

Weeks passed with no problems. You and Chris had gone back to sleeping in the same bed and you often woke up snuggled together. At first, you’d wake and quickly move away from him however, slowly, you became comfortable with it and you were finally starting to feel at peace in his arms. 

You had woken up early this specific Monday morning as it was Chris’s first day back filming with her. You felt sick to the stomach at the thought of him seeing her again and had slept terribly. You knew this day would come and thought you would be, at least slightly prepared, but as the day dawned, you were scared. Nerves caged around your heart as your mind could only replay the moment Chris told you that he had kissed another woman.

Chris had to go back to work, you understood that. He had already put it off for a while and sacrificed enough of his job to try and reconcile your marriage. You almost felt obliged to let him go back to work, who were you to hold your husband back from his job? 

You were sitting in the kitchen, slowly nursing a very strong coffee when Chris came down, ready for his day. You glanced up at him briefly, barely acknowledging his words to you. 

“Y/N? Sweetheart, are you okay? You’re up really early?” 

Glancing at the clock reading 7:30am, you shrugged and mumbled, “Woke up at 5:30am.”

You stared in the abyss, thoughts whirring through your mind. Thinking about being frightened to death about the thought that your marriage wasn’t even halfway back to where it should be. Knowing that Chris would see her today, spend all his time with her whilst you were waiting back at home for him. It felt like some sick and twisted de ja vu. 

It had been almost two months since you’d last been with Chris in any form of intimacy, almost four months since you were truly a happily married couple and now he was going to see her again, were you really debating that history would repeat itself? 

“Baby, will you talk to me? I can see something is on your mind”, Chris gently rests his hand over yours, bringing you out your nightmarish daydream. 

Looking up at Chris, taking in all his handsome features, you thought, how could anyone ever resist him. The thought panicked you even more.  

Learning from previous mistakes, you knew it was best to communicate to him how you were feeling. 

“I’m scared you’re going to see her again today and history could just repeat itself. Nothing is fixed yet Chris, and it feels like we are already going backwards.”

Just when you thought that being honest and communicating with Chris was the best option, it backfired in your face. Chris scoffed, a look of disgust on his face. 

“Huh, you’re not kidding?” Watching him run his hand through his hair, he turns away and slams his coffee mug down on the side. You jump at the aggressive action. 

“You really think I’d do that again? You really think that little of me? Have you not seen all the work I’ve put into this fucking marriage the past couple of months?”, he shrugs and turns back to you, “What else do you want from me Y/N?” 

You wince at his spiteful words. 

“I know you’ve put a lot into this marriage Chris, so have I! We’ve been doing really well, but can you really blame me for having doubts on your first day back with her? I thought you’d understand!” 

“No, I don’t blame you, but I thought you’d trust me more that this by now.” 

You chew on your lip nervously as you both stare at one another, terrified of the silence. 

“I’ve got to go to work Y/N, see you later.” You hear Chris huff before he walks straight out the house, leaving you sitting dumbfounded and anxious at your kitchen table. 

Trying to do any work from home was useless as you just felt panicked and couldn’t stop thinking about how Chris’s day was going. You hadn’t heard from him since this morning at it was now 6pm. 

After developing a painful stress headache, you decide to lay down in bed. Believing you can block the world out and briefly pretend that nothing is wrong in your marriage, you shut your eyes momentarily. 

FLASHBACK. 

Waking up so softly, you barely blink your eyes open as you feel tender kisses dancing their way up your back, following the line of your spine. You flutter your eyes open carefully, aware of the vibrant sunlight gracing your face as you try to focus your eyes, gradually making out the floor length curtains gently blowing through the breeze from your open balcony doors. You can hear the soft crashes of the waves and can see the soft, baby blue sky from your place on the bed as you stretch out all your limbs from an energetic night. You let yourself surrender to the feeling of Chris’s lips grazing against your bare body.

As he gradually makes his way up to your neck and cheek, you hum in utter happiness and contentment as he places one final kiss on your cheek as he leans over your body. You can feel every line and shape of his naked form as it presses up against you. You think about how you’ve never felt so happy and loved in this moment, knowing that this is exactly how you’ll get to feel for the rest of your life. 

“Good morning Mrs. Evans”, Chris roughly whispers, his voice hoarse from minimal sleep. He nibbles on your ear teasingly before grinding his core over your ass. You whimper at the feeling his movements evoke from you. 

“Mhm, I like how that sounds”, you mumble before smiling happily. The use of that name giving you butterflies. The one that now belongs to you, the name that now proves you belong to each other forever.

END OF FLASHBACK.

You wake with a start as you hear the front door slam slightly. You sit up too quickly, as you feel light-headed and your vision blurs slightly. You breath deeply, gaining your bearings before looking at the bedside clock. 7:30pm; you had slept right through dinner. 

Not that it mattered because you would have been eating alone anyway, you thought. 

Your body adjusts to being awake, your stomach fluttering slightly at the memories and feelings that the dream provoked. Momentarily caught in a fever dream. 

Back in reality, you brain registers that there was a slam at the door. Quickly, you get up and rush downstairs to see what is happening. 

As you halt at the bottom of the stairs and look out into the open plan room, you see Chris standing by the breakfast bar. The very same breakfast bar that holds so many recent heartbreaking conversations. But this time, it doesn’t bring you sadness. 

There Chris stands, holding takeout food in one hand and in the other, your favourite donuts. Behind him, on the wall, hangs the framed photo from your wedding day. Your matching smiles beaming on both your faces, almost as if they are lighting up the room.

You look back at him, standing here in your house. Bringing home dinner to you. Coming home to you. 

Your breath catches in your throat, “It’s you Chris, it’s always going to be you.”

You watch him place down the food on the side, before he begins striding towards you. Stuck in your spot, you can’t do anything but smile at your husband as he reaches you. 

“Forever yours”, you whisper before Chris’s lips crash onto yours for the first time in months. Your lips work together as your hands grip as his waist and his grasp your neck and face so you can’t move away. So you can only feel Chris, so you can truly remember the raw intimacy and passion between you. 

As your lips melt together, it feels as monumental as the moment he kissed you as you became his wife. It feels as if your story is beginning again; with a fresh start and a new-found hope for your marriage. 

 ♡

Forever Tags: @itsscottiesstark @patzammit @partypoison00 @cynic-spirit @n3ssm0nique @sohoseb @madbaddic7ed @moonlacebeam @ilovetheeagles  @beautifulrose0809 @lovelyladymayyy @tenaciousperfectionunknown @mysticapples17 @whxre4cevans @firoozehmoon @spookyparadisesheep @mytbel0st @thatonelatina @snowy992 [Please drop me a message if you’d like to become part of the taglist for this series or any of my work]

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

raven-san, can we please have a wedding crashing where jade needs to marry this girl from another crime family to consolidate power and become the next head of the leech mob :)) but floyd's like I'M BORED and annoyed that his brother's being snatched up by a random chick, so he asks basketball bros, and azul, to help save jade?

This one is super long, so I added some extra sections and placed the rest of the wedding crashing below the cut!

***Spoilers for Jamil and Floyd’s Unique Magic!!***

"I object to this wedding...!"

Pre-Wedding Jitters

A call comes for the twins in the dead of night, without warning. It’s their parents with exciting news: they’re naming Jade as the next Don Leech. The catch? The Leech mob’s in the middle of a merger with the Worm mob, and he’ll have to marry Don Worm’s daughter to secure the deal.

Jade, ever the dutiful son, is honored by his future title and calmly agrees to the arrangement. On the other hand, Floyd’s annoyed by the idea, and can’t keep quiet about his irritation. He calls out to his twin in the darkness.

“... Ne, Jade.”

“Ee, Floyd?”

“Are you really okay with going through with this? You’re just gonna do what they said? Even though you don’t know the Worms at all? Even if you’ve never met that girl before?”

“It is a request coming directly from father and mother. How could I refuse them? And, furthermore... If I do not undertake this task, then it would fall to you, the next choice to inherit the title of Don Leech. I cannot allow that to come to pass--fufu. You do so enjoy your freedom, yes?”

“... Jade, you’re so dumb sometimes. What’ll happen to your freedom, then? Will you get so busy with being the big boss and being married... that you won’t have time to play anymore?”

“... Perhaps. But that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

That thought doesn’t sit well with Floyd--not at all.

“I trust that you will make your own fun of the situation,” Jade reassures him. “You always do.”

As the weeks pass, Floyd sees less and less of Jade around, since he has to prepare for the wedding. Jade reassures him that he’s doing just fine, but Floyd can see right through his lies. He can tell that Jade’s more frazzled than usual--there’s a lingering to his words, and a longing in his eyes, savoring every last bit of autonomy he has before his fate is forever sealed.

Floyd hates it. He hates being lied to by his own brother, and he hates feeling powerless to stop the wedding. Floyd’s so angry that he develops this murderous aura in the weeks leading up to the wedding, which makes everyone around him shy away.

One day, he gets sick of being in the water--it’s a reminder of the wedding to come--so Floyd plays basketball on land to vent. He ends up chomping down so hard that he deflates a ball, then dunks another basketball so hard, he breaks the net.

He sprawls out on the ground and angrily shouts at the sky. His basketball bonks him on the head... and that’s when an idea hits him: maybe he can’t stop the wedding alone, but no one said he couldn’t phone some friends.

Assembling the Dream Team

Floyd first dials up Azul, who agrees to help after some whining and signing a contract agreeing to pay Azul handsomely for his services (... although truthfully, the octopus does want to help Jade, but doesn't immediately agree to do it because of his pride as a businessman).

Floyd also calls his old basketball buddies for help! Jamil and Ace are much more adamant than Azul, but Floyd strongarms them into pitching in. ("Umihebi-kun, Kani-chan, if you don't help me rescue Jade, I'll get suuuper mad, you know? I don't think you'll like me when I get mad. Moray eels are strong hunters, so I don’t think it’ll be a problem for me to track you guys down and give you a good squeeze~" "OKAY, OKAY, WE'LL DO IT!!")

Together, the four boys meet up to scheme of a way to disrupt the wedding without jeopardizing the Leech mob's future. Floyd actively leads the discussion, allowing his hidden genius to come to the surface.

Ace doesn’t contribute much to the strategy (laid out by Azul), but he does keep the spirit up with some jokes. Meanwhile, Jamil provides snacks for them when they work late into the night (though he keeps passing semi-glares to Azul whenever the octopus compliments him or tries to be friendly).

In preparation for the crashing, Azul brews some potions to give Jamil and Ace so they can take on temporary merforms. After all, the wedding will be underwater, in the Coral Sea, and they’ll need tail fins.

The date of destiny draws ever closer... and Floyd's never been so excited to cause chaos in his whole life.

The Crashing - Team Azul & Jamil

They split into two pairs on the day of the wedding—Azul and Jamil, and Floyd and Ace. Floyd uses his position as the future son-in-law to Don Worm to arrange a meeting between himself and the don... except Azul and Jamil will show up instead.

Don Worm shows up to the meeting in his finest clothes (which is very little, given that he’s a merman), sounding a bit annoyed the sudden summoning. “Make this quick, I’ve got to go see my baby girl’s big day... Wait. You fellas aren’t the F. Leech boy.”

“No, we aren’t, sir. We are his representatives... Proxies, if you will,” Azul insists, giving his warmest and most welcoming smile. He uses a tentacle to tug on Jamil’s tail, forcing him to smile too. “You see, there is an important business matter we needed to discuss with you on behalf of Floyd.”

“Hoh? And what would that be?”

“I believe my business associate would be better off explaining the matter than myself.” Azul gestures to Jamil, who has his head down.

“Oi, what’s with you? Don’t you know who I am, boy? It’s rude to not look your elders in the eye when they are speaking to you!! Show me the respect I deserve, from one professional to another!!”

“My apologies, sir.” Jamil looks up, locking eyes with the mob boss. “... Is this better?”

“Yes, that’s...”

“Snake Whisper.”

Don Worm suddenly goes glassy-eyed and slack-jawed. Azul claps at the sight, showering his partner with compliments. “As expected of the talented Jamil-san! Even one look from you can bring a mafia lord to his downfall. Truly, your Unique Magic is most impressive!”

“Save your flattery for later.”

Azul’s lips curl into a smirk as he whips out a golden contract from his briefcase and offers it to the don. “Now then, if you wouldn’t mind, sir... sign on the dotted line.”

The Crashing - Team Floyd & Ace

Ace and Floyd rush to the wedding venue, their tails cutting through the water like knives as they swim at a breakneck pace. Ace can barely keep up with Floyd, who surges far ahead.

“H-Hey, should we really be barging in like this?! Don’t mob families have weapons and other dangerous stuff? Is there a backdoor we can take instead? Hello?! Floyd-senpai, are you listening to me?!” (He isn’t.)

The open, underwater comes into view, and Floyd barrels in without any hesitation, tearing right through some decorations and knocking over the wedding cake with his tail. A loud CRASH! echoes through the waters, drawing eyes to him.

Jade stares at his brother from the altar—wide eyed, but a mirthful smile on his lips. Floyd waves to him, and then to his mom and dad in the crowd of guests. “Hiii, Jade! I’m here to pick you up now.”

The Worm girl starts sobbing, wailing something about how her special day’s been ruined, and where is her papa to put an end to this? At her signal, security guards, and some of the rougher looking guests—Worm family associates—lunge at Floyd, claws and teeth out. A few of them have produced wands, and what seem to be guns—loaded with harpoons.

“Bind the Heart!” Objects and stray magic go flying in all directions, hitting both people and wedding decorations. Cloth tears, columns crumble—but it’s one man against many, and he can only bind so many hearts before the blot starts to stack.

Ace makes it just in time, sending their foes and their weapons hurtling through the water with a blast of wind. “This is why I said to be careful, dammit! Your Unique Magic’s such a crapshoot—don’t just use it whenever, or you’ll be sushi!!!”

“Ahahahah! Kani-chan’s being all heroic today! That’s so cute. Don’t worry, I can play my part, too...!!”

Using his tail, Floyd hooks around a drifting merman and chucks him straight into another. They collide with a CRACK!—but Floyd barely registers it. He’s already bolting off, grabbing heads and smashing them together, slicing through others like a knife through butter.

There’s a crazed, frenzied look to him, gleeful laughter cutting through the waters and mixing with the Worm bride’s screeching. I forgot how scary Floyd-senpai can be, Ace realizes. (Jade and Floyd’s parents are cheering for him from their seats.)

Jade looks quite proud of his brother, even laughing along to the brutal slaughterfest. His bride stares at him incredulously. “Stop that brute! He’s ruining MY special day!!”

“No,” Jade replies calmly. “I don’t think I will. This is far too amusing to let it end so soon.”

She lets out a frustrated scream and launches herself at her groom, hands going for his throat. The Worm girl is slammed back with a strong hit to her gut, courtesy of Jade’s tail.

She flies back, slamming into a column—and feels a tail wrapping around her and squeezing tight. Constricting her to the point where it was difficult to breathe. A livid mermaid glares down at her, teeth bared in a snarl.

“No one lays a hand on my children,” Mama Leech declares. “No one.”

From the corner of her eye, the Worm girl can see that Jade has cast off his bow tie and flitted over to Floyd, embracing happily in a battlefield adorned with red ribbons trailing through the water. Her vision is abruptly blocked off by a broad-shouldered merman wearing a grimace.

“Now then, what shall we do with this one?” Papa Leech wonders aloud—though from his tone of voice, he has nothing good in store.

The Aftermath

“You’re all fish bait when daddy hears about this...!” the Worm girl warns, her words raspy. “Th-The merger won’t go through...! There’ll be war between the Leeches and the Worms...!”

A loud throat clearing comes from behind. “Fortunately, that won’t be happening.”

Azul and Jamil make their appearance, the octopus merman smugly showcasing a contract. “Ashengrotto—Azul Ashengrotto, legal and business extraordinaire at your service, Don Leech and Lady Leech.”

Papa Leech grunts. “What’s that you’ve got there?”

“This?” Azul’s smirk widens. “Why, it’s a prenuptial stating that, in the case that an act of violence is enacted by the bride toward the groom, the marriage is considered null and void... and the bride’s family assets are to be claimed by the groom. Signed by Don Worm himself.”

“Wh-What?! Impossible!! How did you get daddy to sign such a stupid deal?!”

“Oh,” Jamil says nonchalantly, “we have our ways.”

“So... Uh, Jade-senpai’s still gonna be the next Don Leech?! And he’s gonna be in charge of an even bigger and richer family... How is that any better than the situation before?! You’re just giving him more resources for committing crimes!”

At that moment, two hands come down on Ace’s shoulders, causing him to freeze up.

“Kani-chaaaaan! Everyone!! Thanks so much for your help~”

“Yes, you have my sincerest thanks, Ace-san, Jamil-san... Azul.”

“It is my pleasure to assist such VIP clients. Ah, but there remains the matter of my promised payment—” (Jamil and Ace internally groan at Azul’s words.)

“Payment?” Don Leech scoffs. “After the ballsy operation you boys pulled off today... I’m more inclined to give you job offers instead of a one time sum. How do you lads feel about being hired as the Leech family’s personal lawyer, interrogator, and... well, whatever the heart one is good at.”

“My, my! Such a generous and lucrative offer—“

“There is no way I’m accepting that, especially if that means working with Azul.”

“Oi, I’ll have you know I’m good at lots of stuff!! I’m the one that saved Floyd’s tail fins, is no one gonna acknowledge that?!”

“You did amazing, sweetie!!” Mama Leech chirps—her tail grip tightening until the Worm girl passes out. Ace leaps back in fright. “As a reward, why don’t you let me give you a hug?”

“S-STAY BACK!!”

“Ahahahah! Everyone’s getting along so well, Jade. Isn’t this fun? You wouldn’t be able to enjoy this if you had gone to get hitched.”

“Fufufu. You are correct, Floyd. How sad it would have been if I were to miss out on touching moments such as this. From the bottom of my heart... I thank you for thinking of me, and for rushing to my aid. I could not have asked for a better brother.”

... What Floyd doesn’t know is that this was all according to keikaku Jade’s own machinations. He would never take the order to marry lying down—but he couldn’t outright defy it without immediate consequences, either.

Thank the Great Seven Jade has reliable puppets friends to help him out of a pinch. I’ll be certain to put the additional funds we have gained to good use... Perhaps to start a little mushroom farm.

[kanmom51]

Hey in this one which was WOH era so this interview might happend in end of October when song was released.

https://youtu.be/3kQ5gISwe4U

Even if this was meant to be funny , jm was really really hurt by this. Poor baby swallowed hard after announcing the results. Also was really uncomfortable when known thus to about to be done. Rm also kinda scolded jk for this.

But what was the jikook timeline after this particular event??

In 2015 , interview jm chose rm for traveling

In this naver interview jm trolled jk by praising the fan arts he chose but selected the ones next to them.

So yes , there was indeed a shift from jm to jk

I won't call behavior change , he was still the sweetheart he was and hanged out with him.

But I think he made jk known that he's no longer special to him , or stopped cooing on him how he used to do previously without a limit.

Simultaneously jk was being whipped af for jm. Jeonlous fansign event in dope era

In that same naver event jk was staring at jm whole tym.

So do you think this ranking made jm to change his decision or how he put jk before anyone to stop for sometime.

This was also the tym jk was becoming kinda soft with jm end of 2014. So jm might really expected jk will rank him higher coz of these recent events but he was again was placed last so he was Hurt.

Do you think all this together lead to rainday fight which according what been shared jm gave upon jk .

First, I will say that these are my own opinions I am sharing here.

In a nutshell my answer to your question would be an astounding no.

JM was hurt. I mentioned that both in my 2015 timeline and further posts regarding JK's behaviour in 2014-15 and his rankings.

Like I said in those posts, I felt that JM was truly hurt by JK's behaviour, and JK, as far as I could see, didn't understand just how hurtful his actions were. Why he did it is a bit of a mystery, because I believe that by this point in time JK was physically and emotionally attracted to JM.

Was he perpetuating a joke? Was this his way of denying his attraction - to himself, the other members and the outside world? Was JM the easiest to appease later? I really don't know his motivation behind his actions, but they were hurtful.

I don’t think that he wants to hurt Jimin, I don’t even think he was aware just how badly he did hurt him. What is evident to me, in any case, is that at this point he still lacks the empathy and sensitivity towards Jimin and his feelings.  This is something that will develop later on in JK’s behaviour towards him.

It's not that JK thinks JM isn't handsome, he even tells him so on his own birthday. So, it's JK being playful, but not understanding that it's actually hurtful to JM. Not yet.

Did JM's behaviour towards JK totally change after this ranking?

I don't think so.

Did he maybe pull back a bit at times? Yes.

I think JM was struggling himself, by now, with his feelings towards JK, and perhaps that is what made that ranking even more hurtful, even though, again, JK had told him otherwise in the past.

Maybe that was part of the problem, getting mixed signals from JK. "Does he like me, doesn't he like me?" "He looks for my proximity but he also pushes back."

I cannot dream to know what was going on in JM's mind at the time. Did he feel the need to pull back at times because it was too much for him? Did he pull back at times as a counter reaction to JK's hot & cold behaviour? I don't know. But it wasn't a total pull back, that's what I am trying to convey here. JM too had his push and pull moments. Pulling close, then letting go. Giving attention then denying attention, and that could be the case in some of those examples you gave anon.

The radio interview example you gave anon was at the end of June 2015, a few days before the JK acting out perhaps being jealous Yeouido fanmeet on 4th July 2015. This is 6 months after the ranking. Again, this might be JM dealing with his own struggles (his own demons) and not necessarily him trying to teach JK a lesson or pulling back from JK because of JK's behaviour.

The ranking was filmed end of October 2014 released November 2014.

JM didn't pull back away from JK after that. We have plenty of content to show us that he doesn't.

Selfies taken a couple of weeks after the ranking:

MC countdown filmed around 3 weeks after the ranking:

A month after the ranking:

More than a month after the ranking:

A couple of months after the ranking:

Sadly, there is an image limit here. There are many more instances late 2014 to mid 2015 where JM wasn't pulling back. I really don't believe JM shifted his behaviour to a point, as you put it: "made jk known that he's no longer special to him , or stopped cooing on him how he used to do previously without a limit".

My point being that there was not real "JM got cold towards JK" or "JM pulled back from JK". The whole narrative of JK fell for JM because JM pulled back, it's just not true.

The way I see it, it was more about JM's inner struggles and not about letting JK know he isn't into him.

[shadowdianne]

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Kisses with their last dying breath

A/N So, apparently, my beloved anon, you are none other than @delirious-comfort. With that in mind I must remind you all that this time I wasn’t the one going for angst. The prompt specifically requests for it so, pointing fingers, please go and talk to AJ about this one

Having said that. Since you don’t do shipping, but merely prompts -your words, not mine xd- I had a little bit of a discussion with myself on what would be the best angle. Try at Cissamione even though we both know that’s kind of stagnant at this point? Try for bellamione even though we are painfully aware I don’t actively ship them minus some very few cases? Go for some of your most recent pairings you are currently reading about? I could but I lack some general background that while interesting would account for some hours of studying about the pairing in particular that would still make it sound fake-y. Should I go for SQ even if we both know how utterly burnt out I’m from the fandom in general? Should I go for some of my OCs? To be honest. I really would like to present them in society so to speak -lol- but I’m not entirely sure how to go about that or if anyone would be interested PLUS there would not be the emotional impact other pairings would have since you don’t know them.

At the end I went for SQ. I’ve killed them both enough times to be a familiar territory for the two of us lol. And let’s be honest; destroying Regina with feelings is something I’ll always enjoy if only for the multiple pathways that opens to her way of dealing with grief.

Anyway, I’ve rambled enough, on with this

PS: Quiet warning: There’s mention of hospitals on this one. I’m obviously not a doctor so I’ve decided to take some liberties here and there but considering the amount of bullshit we are all experiencing at the moment if you feel like passing on this one I’d understand. This goes both to AJ here or any other reader. AJ if you don’t like this version I have a much more magicky one drafted I can whip out.

The beeping of the machines is incessant and there is a stupid comfort in them Regina has grown to hate. Their sound is a painful reminder of those who get to keep on breathing, no matter how labored. She had learnt, years ago, how death can make everyone selfish, painfully selfish, but there’s still a freshness to it that makes her take breaths deeper than she would usually go for if only to remind herself that the machines don’t beep for her. Not yet, after all.

Her hands are still and clammy, cold having already crept out over her fingertips for the number of hours she has taken the position she is now in. She could move, she knows that, but the pain is also a bringer of comfort since they keep on holding, fastened around much more fragile fingers that keep their own curve against them: an instant magic traveling from hers to them in a never-ending circle. She has wondered, more times than she is able to count since days are a blur of repetition she wishes would be the byproduct of a curse, about that lifeforce, that link, she has wished for the ability of her fingers and her touch alone to heal and cure and bring back. She does it again now, out of the play for the mental exercise than anything else since morphine has been administrated steady enough now to come to the fact that there’s very little in regards of acting beyond the act of waiting itself.

She has come to despise how clocks are incessant and ever-present no matter where she is at. The continuous trickle of seconds, minutes, and hours another reminder, a threat, that she cannot really stop. No matter how long she may try to run away from time, it has the ability to come back to her, to the background of her mind, in where she is capable of listening to its faint ticking, always reminding her, always making her feel as if time is as still as water can be, as running as dry sand over her closed fists.

The smell of the hospital is another thing she is familiar with. Was familiar with. But there’s an acute lack of difference around it. Regina loathes this, she would love to be able to sense more, to see more, to see a distinct difference she could cling to. There’s none, not really. Magic is the only thing keeping her sane and she has come to resent it too, if only for the way its mingled, mixed, with that scent that she has come to link with Emma much more than cinnamon, than burning comfort, than clean blankets, than comfortable afternoons.

She should be the one going first. She had muttered it through gritted teeth as they had first heard the news: both Henry and her. Whale had been apologetic, soft, but the impact of his words had still dented them both. Snow and David had been much louder than they had been but, at the end, they had always been louder. Wasn’t anything else they could do?

Palliatives, the doctor had said, and his eyes had been clear, as if waiting but Regina had known that he felt reluctant about it. How much would be for their benefit, how much for Emma’s? The question had haunted her, no true answer behind the words. It was all about selfishness, about selflessness? Did it really darken her heart wishing for anything, anyone, that would be able to make time run slower and slower still? The quiet understanding of not having much more to do came with that precise ticking; pain still blazing through her every move.

“It will hurt less and less.” She had tried to tell herself, Henry, but while true in some aspect she still couldn’t quite place, it really didn’t matter. The bouts of pain were there, after all, and would continue to be.

Emma had been lucid sometimes after the news, her body seeming to give up on her a day, keep her standing the next. There were minute changes, of course: a glimpse of her eyes, a way of smiling, a way of holding her hands, always in the same angle product of the tubes, the hospital bed, the height of the mattress, the height of the chair. At first she had grabbed to them, hoping that they would signal something. At the end, truly, they hadn’t.

Was it selfish for her, then, to work with and against time at the same time? Was it selfish for her to bury herself in memories as they superimposed themselves with the image of Emma, consumed Emma, who kept on cracking jokes whenever she had enough presence of mind to do them? She hadn’t truly spoken about it, about not waking up at some point, of the way her body felt always cold now, of how magic felt weaker now, of how her scent was mixed with that awful awful odor of hospital and sickness.

It would be easier, Regina said despite knowing it wasn’t true, would never be, if there truly had been something that she could focus at: something to name and seek revenge against.

“Her entire body is failing her.” Whale had said and Regina had nodded, knowing I already, fearing for it already. Emma had been silent that day, lucid, capable of talking and remembering them all well enough to be able to sense what their contrite faces screamed rather than whisper.

Regina had learnt quite quickly that she wasn’t a whisper type of person. She understood why Henry did it, why David did, why Snow would only if doctors were present and explaining things to them, but she hated it. She would rather have Emma listen to her voice until there was nothing left to say. Silences were more difficult to bear.

Except now, of course, in where time is running thin enough to be translucent and the hours are minutes that pass through as the trickling of the morphine keeps its work. She is not able to see it, of course, the liquid, since it had already been administrated and the last dose had been given a few minutes ago, but her mind keeps conjuring the image up, as a way of understanding, maybe, of picturing what she is not able to.

She feels a tap of her hands, more of a shiver going up her cold fingers and she focuses back on what laid around her rather than solely on Emma’s face. Still had come with different descriptors the longer the time passed. Still did not mean completely, there always would be some tension around her eyes, around her mouth, the way her cheeks sat atop the bones. Completely relaxed muscles meant something else, something that she kept on searching for, dreading it. There were times in where the muscles changed positions, quick trembles that created a smile there, a wink here, words that would be understandable or not at all and Regina had lost count of the promises -empty, full of anger and ire and fire and heat and cold and tiredness- she had screamed to time.

They had taken away the nasogastric tubes, there would not be any food to be given, after all, and all medications were already via catheter, so she is able to see words forming around Emma’s lips, as if they are drawn around them rather than being pushed away from slowly falling lungs. It takes some time: throat is still sore, energies are running low, but Regina had grown accustomed to the language that came with it all. She moves closer, closer still, not quite registering the whimper that comes from Henry’s side of the room [He refused to touch Emma sometimes and the notion hurt Regina, but she knew she couldn’t quite make him do it if he himself wasn’t able to and the dichotomy of both statements tore her apart if she looked into them long enough] and pushes through tired eyes and sore muscles.

“Would you kiss me?”

A bubbling tear echoes through Regina’s own vocal cords, but she swallows it down knowing this would not be the time for them. She is strong, isn’t she? She is, she needs to be. And so, she glances back to Henry who is biting on his fist and staring at his mothers, at loss.

Time, damned time. Snow and David are asleep, having been reminded that they had a child to attend to, having asked, pleaded almost to be let known if anything changed. Regina has been reluctant on understanding what anything truly meant. She now eyes back to Emma, at the way her eyes were clouded, and she motions to Henry for the phone.

“Call them.” She asks and she knows with distinct clarity that there would be a much more time to talk and chat and listen later, but she feels like she isn’t able for any of it now. Henry flees for the call, his own lips quivering, and Regina eyes Emma once more, at the way lines of magic run through her skin, at the way her face tilts towards her, at the starched sheets and the white and paleness of it all. She drinks on it until she feels that there is nothing else to gorge with only to realize there is. There always will be more.

They had had their time, hadn’t they? But not enough, not close to it, and she rages once more as she keeps on eyeing Emma, at the question that still floats between them with Henry still muttering on the phone and Snow’s voice a high-pitched scream that speaks of quick movements and clothes thrown over bodies still tired and sluggish due to sleep.

Had she known it? She would then later be asked, and she would not be able to respond without giving away too much, far too much of a moment she felt unprepared to explain with words that would never reach between the gaps she would leave out of her answer.

She moves closer, her elbow protesting and snapping in place as she takes everything in, as she breaths, as she counts the beeps that come from some place at her back, echoing through corridors that she had always felt empty but now feel full.

Her lips taste different, the movement that come from them a reflex more than a reply, but she clings to them as she raises her free hand and caresses the other’s face, grateful for the clinking sound of her promise ring as hands are freed and the two rings touch. She wishes to be able to feel everything but there is only the sense of touch that is still on her as the kiss lengthens and so, as she moves, tears burning, she knows that she ought not to look because if so she will fall.

[Henry looked, Henry held her as she fell backwards, as quiet as possible, as burning as she felt. David and Snow arrived late, Emma’s magic gone, nothing lingering but the purple of Regina’s own color, now muted, darker, she cried while wishing for a razor blade to open her up, to reflect the pain in a way that felt proportional. But there was only vastness.

And a kiss. A promise.]

A goodbye

[offda-rails-art]

Here is part two of “Lochlans spook” 👇

Again⚠️gore warning⚠️ this is a horror story

Not long after Lochlan made his way past the herd of deer another odd occurrence happened. The first thing he saw up ahead was a lone coyote racing out of the direction Lochlan was headed. The coyote seemed to be on a mission to get somewhere. The animal’s eyes bulged from its head, his mouth gaped open trying to take in as much air as possible, and every muscle in its body showed as it sprinted in the opposite direction it came. Lochlan was about to conclude that the animal was simply on a mission for a hunt. But then, more animals sprinted forward going the same way the coyote was headed. Foxes, rabbits, more coyotes and deer, even birds flew right past Lochlan. The big engine was the last thing the animals seemed to care about, they all ran in an almost harmonious fashion. They weren’t chasing each other but they were running away from something. Lochlan felt a pang of anxiety deep in the depths of his boiler. He had never witnessed something so strange, what on earth are they running from? He thought and as he traveled closer in the direction the animals sprinted from he felt something he never felt before, fear.

In his lifetime Lochlan had truly and honestly never felt fear. He was so big and powerful that what could he fear? And as awful as it sounds Lochlan didn’t have normal “engine fears” either. He didn’t worry about collisions like many feared. Many engines that collided often had died from either injury or impact, but Lochlan was so large that any engine that collided with him would be doomed and he himself would most likely be untouched. If anything others feared him because of his size and mass.

Lochlan was so shellshocked with the new feeling that he didn’t know how to react. Something was scaring him. He blanked out for a moment and then came to a screeching halt, his cargo slammed into him, his engineers were nearly thrown from their seats, and any product that was in the rows of cargo trucks was surely tossed around and destroyed. Lochlan stared blankly ahead, his headlamp hardly illuminating anything in the pitch black. Now that he stood still he listened to all that was around him. His anxiety got worse when the only sound around him was nothing. No crickets, no birds, nothing. Pure quiet. Something was out there, hunting.

Lochlans engineers took a moment to collect themselves from the sudden unexpected halt. “What the hell was that all about?” His fireman asked and rubbed his head in thought.

“I don’t know, but I’ll go see what the issue is. Perhaps Lochlan will let us know.” His driver said and hopped down from the cab and started a long walk to face his engine. Lochlan meanwhile stared ahead of himself he listened in as best he could becuase he could swear something was calling his name. His driver interrupted him. “What’s the issue big boy? Are you hurt? Is something wrong?” He asked.

“I don’t know sir. I just can’t go any further.” Lochlan replied never taking his eyes off the track ahead. He felt the air get cooler with each second. His driver seemed to notice that too, he crossed his arms over his chest and shivered.

“Can’t see squat out here in this dark. Alright Lochlan I’ll try and find the out-

“I think you should go back in my cab now. It’s getting to cold out here and there’s no sense in trying to solve a problem in the pitch black.” Lochlan interrupted. More dread bubbled up inside of him. His driver looked at him curiously, he held his arms tighter to his chest bracing in the cold.

“I suppose your right, goddamn why is it so cold? It’s the middle of summer.” His driver groaned then turned on his heels to rush back to the warm cab. Lochlan’s fireman poked his head out of the cab window.

“Is everything alright? What’s going on?” He shouted down to his colleague. He felt the bitter cold nip at his face and noticed his breath show up in the air.

“I don’t know, but it’s to cold out here and I cannot see an inch of light anywhere.” He hurriedly climbed into the warm cab.

“I noticed that too. Should we radio for assistance?” The fireman asked.

“Go ahead and try but I guarantee you won’t get any signal out here.” He sighed and plopped himself down in his seat. The two did try to radio but had no luck. After hours of trying to think of what to do they both decided to stay in the cab and wait till early morning when at least an ounce of light would come out.

Lochlan sat on the tracks never taking his eyes away from the pitch black ahead. He listened carefully and heard an unsettling sound. A low grumble mixed with what sounded like an elk bugling echoed around him. Elk calls could be eerie sounding but this was no elk call, what made him come to that conclusion was his name being called after each grumble.

“Lochlan?” The voice asked trying to get a response. Lochlan didn’t dare answer. He narrowed his eyes trying to see what called his name. “Lochlan?!” It asked again this time sounding agitated, a louder grumble followed. Lochlan nearly jumped out of his pistons when silence followed and then a loud “LOCHLAN!!!! LOCHLAN!!! LOCHLAN!!!!!” The voice roared. He still didn’t answer. Just beyond where his headlamp could reach a figure came into view. A buck stood on the tracks ahead, its dark piercing eyes stared back at him in a way no animal would. Lochlan gritted his teeth, he watched the deer and his eyes went wide when the animal opened its mouth.

“LOCHLAN.” The deer mouthed in perfect English. The four legged animal began to twist and morphe into a horrifying creature. It’s bones broke then dislocated growing massive upright legs, front legs turned into massive human arms along with a long skinny malnutritished human torso with ribs poking out. Flesh clung to its horribly mangled body and with each body part that morphed into place it grew and grew and grew until it towered over Lochlan. The flesh disappeared from the deer’s head revealing its skull with bulging red human eyes. A long tongue rolled from its mouth dripping drool and all. A skinny boney finger cracked, twisted, then pointed to Lochlan in a sickening beckoning motion. The creature stepped forward, it’s massive body lurched with each step. The low grumble noise came again, this time it shook Lochlan to the core. The creature’s jaw opened wide in a smile. “Lochlan?” It asked again seeming to want a response. Lochlan refused half out of sheer panic and the other part not being able to form words at all. He’d never ever been this terrified. The creature wasn’t satisfied with the silence it received, its jaw formed into a frown.

Lochlan watched each step it took, and now with the horrific creature just one foot away he did the only thing his body let him do. Close his eyes. The creature bent down lowering its face to Lochlan’s. “Lochlan?” It asked in almost a whine to get a rise out of him. No response and the creature grew significantly irritated. Lochlan felt it’s hot breath assault his skin, it’s breath stunk of rot. The whole beast itself was a massive rotting corpse, maggots wriggled around what flesh stretched over its body. The creature breathed in his face, it reached a hand out and touched Lochlans cheek. A sharp claw traced over the flesh on his face, Lochlan could swear he felt whatever maggots that were imbedded in the beast’s hand crawled out for a moment and graze his own skin. He still didn’t dare open his eyes. The creature sat there for what felt like hours, each breath it took a low grumble followed. Lochlan was terrified, his eyes refusing to open. Even when he felt a sticky wet tongue roll over his face. The creature got irritated and with a loud annoyed huff it got to its feet, gave one last loud bellowing screech and just like that it disappeared. Lochlan kept his eyes clamped shut the rest of the night, he didn’t open them until he could see a very small amount of light shine through his eyelids. Birds chirped and crowed and things seemed to be a bit normal. He kept his eyes opened and looked around.

Lochlan had started up with no issues at all, the incident that happened during the night when unnoticed by his engineers who had seemed to have slept through the whole thing. The two men looked their engine over best they could and asked how he felt before starting off back down the route. Lochlan rolled down the track cautiously still shaken up from what happened earlier. He frowned when he noticed on the sides of the track further down the line dozens of cattle spread out in the field. They weren’t laying down, they were quite literally scattered about. The scene was brutal, every bovine was covered in massive claw marks, many looked disemboweled, some missing limbs, some missing heads. Lochlan felt his breath hitch as he rolled by slowly. Two very confused cowboys surveyed the field of cattle. Lochlan’s engineers looked out the window of his cab and scratched their heads at the brutal scene. They chatted about what could have possibly done that but Lochlan knew exactly what did that.

“Well?! What did you think? Pretty weird right? I’d rate that on the list of odd things I’ve seen as a.... 3? Maybe 4? Out of 10 of course.” Lochlan said as he concluded his story. The group beside him looked horrified. Donner looked as though he was about to pass out or throw up, maybe both.

“Jesus Christ Lochlan?! You drop a bomb just like that on us?!” Red asked, his mouth agape still from shock at what was said.

“You wanted a horror story, yes?” Lochlan asked innocently.

“I’d just like to know what makes you rate that a 4 out of weird things you’ve seen?” Cracker Jack asked.

Lochlan only smirked.

End.

Thanks for reading💖💖 I hope you enjoyed.

[carrotmakar]

Mercy

Pairing: Roommate!Harry Styles x Reader

Word Count: Exactly 4,100

Summary: Having a roommate is hard, benign in love with them is harder. What’s hardest, though, is them not loving you back.

Warning(s): Mutual pining, sadness, both parties being lowkey dumb, sudden changes, a letter, absolutely no dialogue

A/N: This is my third piece for the Illuminate Masterlist!! I don’t personally like the way that this one ends, but I do like the fact that this is my first piece without any dialogue. I hope everyone enjoys it!! I cried writing it, but that may be just because I’m emotional. Hopefully it’s not too bad jfhdskaj.

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You've got a hold of me Don't even know your power I stand a hundred feet But I fall when I'm around you

Having a roommate can be hard, that’s a known fact. You must get along with your roommate, communicate, and have compatible personalities for the arrangement to work. If any one of those things are off, the entire thing can fall apart.

Having a roommate is hard, but having clearly unrequited feelings for your roommate is even harder. There were multitudes of issues that came with this.

He couldn’t see you in your shared living space without his stomach tying itself in knots. When you were in the same room with him, close enough to where he could smell your perfume and hear you breathe, his heart goes into overdrive. It’s like his pulse is trying to get first place in the race, and he can’t slow it down for the life of him. Which isn’t always a great thing because he’ll get out of breath quickly and then he’ll have to go on the search for his inhaler because he genuinely cannot breathe.

It hadn’t started like this, Harry hadn’t always had feelings for you. But after living with you for almost a year, he had gotten to know every part of you. He had seen the ups and the downs, the good and the bad. He was there when you were laughing so hard that tears were streaming down your face, and he was also there when you were sobbing to the point that you almost got sick. 

He had seen you at your worst, but that didn’t mean that much to you. He was just a friend, a close one at that.

That killed him. More than anything, he didn’t want to be your friend. He yearned to be the person that you fell asleep with and woke up curled into. To be the person that got to show you the love and affection that you deserve. To get the privilege of loving you.

But he knows that the feelings are unrequited, knows that you don’t see him that way. At first, he had thought you could. That maybe, just maybe, you could have the tiniest hint of feelings for him.

But that thought was quickly squashed by the boyfriends, and the one night stands, and the crushes. All of which you talked to him about. He knows you, talking to someone you like about things like that isn’t something that you do.

Harry had spent a long time mourning something that had never begun, and then he realized that the feelings weren’t going to go away. He hoped and prayed that they would, but they never did.

So, he spent just about every single day wishing that he was yours, but never being able to say that he was. 

He spent his waking hours being constantly brought down by you. Not in a purposeful way. It’s just that as Harry Styles, the worldwide musical sensation, he was sort of used to getting what he wanted. He wasn’t cocky or anything, but he was confident in who he was. But there was just something about you that made him feel completely inferior, all because he wasn’t someone that you had feelings for.

Show me an open door Then you go and slam it on me I can't take anymore I'm saying baby

Living with Harry was pure torture. There’s no other way to put it. Living under the same roof with someone that you’re head over heels for, but not being able to show them is absolute torture. 

You had tried to tell him, tried to hint to him that you were into him. For a while, you would hug him more, would just go up to him and hug him at random times. You’d order him food when you ordered your own, even if he didn’t ask for it. You’d invite him to watch movies with you and then say you were cold so that you could share the blanket with him. 

He never seemed to take the hints, however, never seemed to understand what you were trying to say. At first, you thought ath he was just being dumb about the whole thing and not realizing that you were trying to show him how much you cared about him.

But then you pulled the timeless trick, the one that everyone used at least once in middle school, you talked about other guys to see if he got jealous. When he didn’t, when he just talked about them with you and gave you advice on how to get with them, you realized that it wasn’t just the fact that he didn’t see the hints, it was that he didn’t care. And that hurt more than you thought that it would.

After that, you were scared that you were going to act differently around him, so you closed him off a little bit, stopped dropping hints and just went back to how you used to be. It made everything feel weird at first, seeing as you had been acting that way for months. 

What really confused you about the whole thing, though, was that he seemed to not have feelings and to not care if you would date someone else, but every time you would bring someone to meet him, he automatically hated them. On any occasion when you were just lounging around the house, he would randomly come up to you and put his arms around you, cuddling into you and holding you close. For a while, he would always find a way to be touching you.

You thought that you would be happy that he was like that, but the mixed signals that he was throwing out were driving you crazy. You didn’t know how you were supposed to get over him, to accept the fact that he didn’t reciprocate the feelings that you had, when he acted the way that he did.

Please have mercy on me Take it easy on my heart Even though you don't mean to hurt me You keep tearing me apart Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart

In all honesty, he knew that you didn’t mean to put him through the pain that you did. He’s completely aware of the fact that you don’t purposefully break his heart. You just don’t have the same feelings that he does, and that’s okay. He’s not going to beg you to love him. He just wishes that the pain of living with you and not being yours would subside.

There are a lot of things that he’s learned since the two of you moved in together. But the most life changing thing that he’s learned in that time is that not everything works out. And not everything can be fixed or altered to where it does work out.

There are just some things that aren’t meant to happen. He didn’t want to believe that for a long time, didn’t want to think that there are some things, some aspects of life, that are truly unattainable. He’s always believed that everything is possible, so for him to realize, and accept, that not everything can happen was a major step for him.

He thought that realizing that you were out of reach would make it easier to cope with the pain of unrequited love, but that’s not what happened in the slightest.

If anything, it seemed to make it even worse. He would look over at you while you were eating dinner or watching a movie together and he’d get entranced by your beauty. And then, ultimately, he would get sad and want to go back to his room.

The fact that you were so perfect, so wonderful and lovely, yet so out of reach killed him inside.

He found himself wanting to find a new place, to move out so that you didn’t have to deal with his pining (that he knew just had to be completely obvious) and so he didn’t have to torture himself by loving you and being so close yet so far away from you.

He ended up deciding against that idea, knowing that it would take you forever to find a new roommate that you liked and that you couldn’t pay the entirety of the rent by yourself. For a bit he thought about paying his half of the rent until you found a new roommate, but he knew that if he wasn’t actively using the space, then you wouldn’t accept his money.

And regardless of how he felt, he wouldn’t leave you to struggle on your own.

I'd drive through the night Just to be near you, baby Heart open, testify Tell me that I'm not crazy

You’d do anything for him. How does he not see that? How does he not care? 

In the time that you had been sharing an apartment with him, he had never once let you help him with anything. It was frustrating more than anything.

You caught him one night stumbling through the door at three in the morning. He was so clearly drunk, and by the looks of it, he wasn’t doing well. You tried your hardest to help him get to bed, but he pushed you away, claiming that if he needed anyone’s help, it definitely wouldn’t be yours.

The night, you had gone to bed crying, not understanding why he was so against you helping him. 

The next day, he didn’t say anything about it, and neither did you. He acted like there was nothing to talk about, and you just didn’t want to relive the embarrassment of being told that he’d rather have anyone else help him than you.

What you did to get that side of him, you couldn’t figure out. You hadn’t done anything to him at all, especially not lately. 

Maybe he just figured out exactly how whipped you are for him and he finds it weird. Maybe he thinks you’re crazy, maybe even a little pathetic for being so in love with him when he couldn’t care less about you.

I'm not asking for a lot Just that you're honest with me My pride is all I got I'm saying baby

There’s nothing that Harry hates more than hurting you. He hates himself every time the flicker of it passes through your eyes when he pushes you away. When he lies straight to your face and tells you he doesn’t need you. When he pushes you away.

He tells you that it’s for the sake of your friendship. That no matter what, he doesn’t want to ruin that with you. But the truth, the part that he doesn’t want to admit, is that he’s trying to make everything easier on him. 

He knows it’s selfish. He’s aware of the fact that he’s being rude to you for reasons that aren’t valid. He feels like an awful person for it, but he doesn’t know how to stop doing it. He wants to treat you how you deserve to be treated. He wants to stop making you upset, but he genuinely can’t figure out how to. 

He wants to tell you everything, explain it to you so that maybe you’ll understand. But Harry can’t even let his pride go. It always gets in the way of him making the right decisions. 

Usually, he can stop his pride from getting too involved in situations. He can stop it from ruining things. But here he was, hurting you, and not being able to fix it because of his pride.

Please have mercy on me Take it easy on my heart Even though you don't mean to hurt me You keep tearing me apart

You were indecisive. Always had been, probably always would be. This is the exact reason why you’re up at the crack of dawn debating the pros and cons of moving out. 

You don’t want to leave him, that’ll probably hurt the most. But there’s just so much that you can’t take anymore. You can’t handle him pushing you away more and more every time that you’re around him. You can’t handle the way the apartment feels empty even when both of you are home. You can’t handle the way that the silence is deafening because nobody ever speaks.

There’s a part of you that thinks - or more like hopes - that he doesn’t mean to hurt you like this. That maybe there’s just something going on with him that you’re not aware of. 

But the bigger part of you, the part of you that is thinking logically, believes that he knows exactly what he’s doing. 

Would you please have mercy on me I'm a puppet on your string And even though you got good intentions I need you to set me free Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart Would you please have mercy, mercy on my heart

He was slowly going insane sitting in his room and not having the guts to just walk down the hall and knock on your door. Anyone else would have told you by now. Anyone else would have just gotten over themselves and told you how they felt. 

Why couldn’t he just get up and make his way to you? Why couldn’t he seem to make the right choice here?

For the past few months, everything had felt like it was being controlled by you in some way. It wasn’t like you were legitimately controlling his actions, but there was always that thought in the back of his mind asking what you would do or what you would want him to do. 

While lying on his bed, he’s aware of the fact that you would want him to just man up and tell you, that you would just want him to have the courage to go after what he wants.

For the first time in what felt like years, he goes against what he thinks you would wish for him to do. He’s relieved at the time. He’s so glad that he has the willpower to act the complete opposite of what his thoughts about you tell him to.

If he had known just how bad that one decision would have messed up everything, he wouldn’t have been nearly as relieved that night.

Consuming all the air inside my lungs Ripping all the skin from off my bones I'm prepared to sacrifice my life I would gladly do it twice

You feel bad for leaving him, for deciding to move out. But after thinking about it, the cons majorly outweighed the pros. 

That night, you decide that you’re moving out. You’ll pack your clothes and some boxes, load up your car, and have your friends come pick up whatever’s left. 

You don’t really want to leave without saying anything to him, but there’s nothing that you could say to him that you think he would listen to. He doesn’t even want you around him most of the time. There’s no way that he’d want a face to face about why you’re leaving.

So, you do the next best thing. You write a letter. You sit down at your desk and pick up your favorite pen. Pulling out your notebook, you begin to write. 

After you’re done, you take your clothes and the few boxes that you could get packed to your car. Before you say your final goodbye to the space that you’d called your mind for so long, you leave the letter on the counter next to the coffee pot. 

He’d find it in the morning, right after he woke up. You’d be long gone by then.

You shrug on your jacket and make your way out of the apartment, locking the door behind you and holding back the tears that had been threatening to surface since you had the initial thought of moving out.

Consuming all the air inside my lungs Ripping all the skin from off my bones I'm prepared to sacrifice my life I would gladly do it twice

He didn’t sleep well. His brain had kept him awake, coming up with scenario after scenario of how things could have gone if he just told you how he felt. More often than not, though, those scenarios ended up having a horrible outcome.

He trudged out of his room at the crack of dawn, knowing that once he woke up he wouldn’t be able to go back to sleep. Not after how hard it was to get to bed in the first place.

The entire walk to the kitchen, something feels off. It’s like there’s something missing. He doesn’t dwell too long on it. He’s not usually out of bed this early. Maybe you’re still asleep.

When he gets to the kitchen, he doesn’t go straight to the counter. He stops at the pantry first, pulling out some crackers to snack on. He makes his way over to the counter to brew some coffee and the envelope that he’s faced with makes his blood run cold.

Why was there an envelope with his name on it on the counter? In your handwriting? And why did you feel the need to write a letter instead of just coming to him and saying whatever needed to be said?

He doesn’t open the letter yet, deciding instead to brew a pot of coffee and drink a cup. He knows that he’ll most likely need to be completely awake to read the contents of the letter.

Please have mercy on me Take it easy on my heart Even though you don't mean to hurt me You keep tearing me apart

You didn't know when he’d be up. You didn’t know when he’d see the letter. You didn’t even know if he’d read it. What you did know, however, is that you weren’t ready for the next twenty four hours. If he found the letter and decided to read it, he may text you to talk about it. Or even worse, he may not text you at all. He may just let everything die right then and there.

Your worst fear of the entire thing, though, was that he wouldn’t read it at all. That he would notice that you left and feel such a sense of betrayal that he would just throw out the letter. 

If he never read it, you wouldn’t know. Chances are, you wouldn’t know what he did in general. But there was a part of you that was wishing upon everything that he would read it. That letter said everything. And if he decides to read it and not want to say anything, then that’s fine. But the thought of his not reading everything that you wrote down was gut wrenching. You had poured your soul into that letter and left it for him.

Would you please have mercy on me I'm a puppet on your string And even though you got good intentions I need you to set me free

He took the letter back to his room after checking the house for you. You were gone. He had pushed you to the point of leaving. Had he really been that daft? Were you really hurting that bad? He had been so caught up in himself that he didn’t even realize that you were going through things of your own.

As he opens the envelope, he can feel his breathing get heavier. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to get through this.

He unfolds the papers that you poured your heart into and behind to read.

Harry,

By the time that you read this, I’ll be gone. I’ve thought about this for a long time. Thought about the pros and the cons of leaving the apartment. I know it’s awful of me to leave without saying anything to you, but I just can’t take it anymore.

I also know that it’s horrendous to tell you what I’m about to in a letter, but there’s no way that I could have been brave enough to say this to your face.

I’m in love with you. Like head over heels, wrapped around your finger, whipped. I don’t know for sure when it happened. I don’t know the exact day. I do know that there wasn’t one single moment that made me fall in love with you, it was a collection of every memory that we have with one another. 

It was the first time that I saw you. You were the most famous person that I had ever met, but I didn’t even know that. I’ve always stayed away from social media and there were a limited amount of people in my life. But you walked into that store that day and you were immediately the only person that I could see. You blushed at me, stopped and asked if I wanted something. I was so confused at the time, but now I understand that you probably thought that I was a fan. When I said no, you just smiled and went on with your day.

It was also the day we became roommates. You called about my ad (which probably was an awful way to find a roommate now that I think back on it, but I’m glad that I did it because without it I wouldn’t have found you again). You were so nervous. You looked like it was the most important meeting that you had ever been in. You impressed me with how nice you were.

It was all the times that you held the door for me. All the times that you put me first when you didn’t have to. It was every time that you let me borrow your clothes because they made me feel more comfy.

It was every time you’d look me directly in the eyes while we talked. I knew you were listening to every word that I had to say when you did that.

It was everything that you did for me. It was like every action was a piece of the puzzle that made me fall in love with you.

I’ve been meaning to tell you for a long time, but there was always something holding me back.

At first, it was me. I was scared that I’d ruin the friendship. That someone like you could never in a million years like me. I was terrified that if I told you about the feelings that I had, you’d be disgusted. 

Then, we were drifting. I don’t know if it was you, or if it was me, or if it was the both of us. But we weren’t the same that we were. We were different, farther from each other than we ever have been.

And then you came in drunk and I tried to help you. I tried to get you to bed. You told me you’d rather have anyone else’s help than mine. Anyone but me.

That’s what really pushed me. I couldn’t live under the same roof as you and be so helplessly in love with you and have you not even want me around. 

So, I made the decision to move out. I know that you’ll need to find a new roommate. I already have a few people who are looking for one. I’ll leave their numbers at the end of this letter along with their names.

This has gotten a lot longer than I ever intended for it to be, but the point is: I’m in love with you. And if you want to leave it at this, that’s okay. If you never want to talk to me again, that’s okay. I don’t need you to be in love with me. I just want you to be happy. Do what makes you happy, H.

All the Love,

Y/N

I'm begging you for mercy, mercy Begging you, begging you, please, baby I'm begging you for mercy, mercy Ooh, I'm begging you, I'm begging you

By the time that he finishes the letter, there are tears freely flowing down his face. He can’t hold it back.

You love him? God, he messed this up big time, huh? 

He doesn't know what he can do to fix this, but he knows where to start.

I read your letter, saw the numbers and names. Thought I’d tell you that I don’t want another roommate. I just want you.  Can we meet somewhere to talk?

He puts his phone down, waiting for the reply that he may never receive.

*

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this little piece that I whipped up :))

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