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demonhanabi · 9 months ago

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The Lovecraft Configuration - One Shot

Originally posted to AO3 - July 2024

Night was falling quickly and Leonard grew anxious. He didn’t like driving at night, it made his hands itch and his brow sweat. He couldn’t understand how Penny actually preferred driving when it was dark

He stole a quick glance at the rearview mirror at said girl, she was talking something in a low voice with Bernadette as she cleaned her bat and his mind couldn’t help but come up with scenarios where she talked about all the boys she had slept with or who her new crush was.

His hands squeezed the steering wheel tightly and he focused on the road again.

He slowed down when darkness fell and he lowered the volume of the music as he squinted and bobbed his head side to side trying to find a sign to confirm that they were indeed on the right road. “Howard, are you sure we took the right exit?”

“Lenny, when have I ever gotten us lost?” Howard was riding shotgun, a map opened on his lap, he sounded confident but Leonard still side eyed him.

“How about during the “Empresario” case? Or on that corn maze in Nebraska while we ran away from what we thought was a zombie?” Penny quipped from the back of the van, still cleaning her metal bat.

“Or that time we just wanted to get McDonald’s and you kept promising we were two blocks away but we ended up in another state.” Bernadette didn’t even look up from the book she was reading. How could she read in a moving vehicle and not puke was a mystery to Leonard.

“Okay! So I make mistakes. I’m human, okay?” Howard threw his hands up dramatically. Raj quickly patted Howard’s shoulder and Howard didn’t hesitate to turn around to give the temporarily mute man a side hug. “I know buddy, I know. Girls are mean.” Howard said in a dramatically sad voice.

Penny and Bernadette giggled and Leonard wished he wasn’t stuck on driving duty. This was the last summer before they all went to college and he wanted to confess his feelings to Penny.

He was going to New Jersey because his mom was paying for college on the condition that he attends Princeton and it was too good of an offer to not accept it. His dad and his new wife were nice but they weren’t exactly swimming in money and Leonard didn’t want to take on the burden of student debt.

To make the situation worse, all of his friends were staying in California. Penny would be attending UCLA, Raj, Howard and Bernadette were excited to go to Caltech and he was trying to be happy for all of them but it was hard.

Life was unfair.

“You’re going to get wrinkles Lenny. You still haven’t told her?” Howard whispered to him and Leonard frantically turned to look behind him to make sure that Penny hadn’t heard Howard but she was engrossed in conversation with Bernadette, not paying attention to him. Somehow that made him feel bad as well.

“Shhhhh! Shut up. I’ll tell her…I just need to find the right time.” Leonard grumbled, quickly focusing back on the road.

“Tick tock Lenny. In no time at all she’s going to be at UCLA getting bang-heeeeeeeeeeeey Bernie! I almost didn’t see you there. What’s up?!” Howard’s voice was high, his own unrequited crush obvious to anyone.

Bernadette narrowed her eyes suspiciously at them, making them sweat for a moment before she spoke. “We’re getting hungry, please stop when you find a place to get food.”

“Oh, sure, sure.” Leonard agreed quickly and flashed her a quick smile. Bernadette moved to keep talking to Penny and he waited until she was all the way in the back before he glared at Howard. “See! She almost caught us because of your dumb-stupid-nonsensical loudmouth.”

“Woah, woah, calm down. Nothing happened. I’ve got Bernie wrapped around my finger.” Leonard didn’t miss how Howard’s voice was a low whisper and even Raj rolled his eyes. Howard could easily hit on a random girl but when it came to Bernadette he was as bad as Raj was with any woman.

“Leonard, where are we going anyway?” Penny suddenly called out from the back and he was more than happy to answer.

“We’re going to-uh-hold on.” Leonard reached across Howard to open the glove compartment, he rummaged for a moment before finding a crumpled piece of paper. He did his best to straighten it but it was useless. “We’re going to Wickenburg, Arizona. A Missy Cooper reported that her twin is missing after entering a supposedly haunted mansion. They both came in and she was the only one to make it out.” Damn, his handwriting was bad.

“Wait. Cooper. What’s the name of the missing twin?” Bernadette perked up.

“Uhhhh hold on…Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper.” Leonard turned the paper this and that way, trying to read his own handwriting, he really needed to take better notes.

“No way!” Bernadette jumped in place and made Penny flinch. “That’s Sheldon Cooper. THE Sheldon Cooper!”

“Sheldon Coop-Sheldon Cooper!!” Leonard finally made the connection and he almost swerved into a tree in excitement before he gained control.

Penny rubbed her head where she had hit it against the wall of the van. “For the normal people, can we get a rundown on why you’re freaking out about this guy?”

“He’s a world renowned physicist!” Leonard yelled. “He’s a famous paranormal investigator!” Bernadette yelled at the same time.

Leonard and Bernadette shared a look before he hesitantly started explaining. “Dr Cooper is the youngest physicist in the world. He currently holds the record for being the youngest laureate of the physics world, like he has won every award, I’m not joking. He is currently a teacher at Caltech and rumor has it they’ll give him tenure very soon.” He nodded towards Bernadette to let her know she should say her piece.

Bernadette adjusted her glasses. “Ahem, Sheldon Cooper is one half of the famous ‘Cooper Investigations’ team. Together with his twin, Melissa Cooper, they have unmasked and debunked the biggest paranormal cases in the last decade.”

“Wait, how old is this guy?” Penny interrupted.

“He’s only seventeen like us! That’s why he is such a big deal.” Bernadette said proudly.

“I think they might be referring to his scientific contributions when they say that Bernie.” Howard added.

“Shush Howie. Anyway, remember that case about the ghost truck? They were the ones to debunk it and bring the actual perp to justice. They also debunked the whole fish people cult thing and they’ve been doing this since they were seven!” Bernadette animatedly told the group.

“Well, he can’t be that good if he got stuck in some amateur’s haunted mansion.” Howard sniffed in disgust and Leonard thought he was probably jealous of how into Sheldon his crush was.

“Howie!” Bernadette looked appalled.

“Once we save him you can ask for a damn autograph.” Howard grumbled and focused back on the map on his lap.

Bernadette sighed dejectedly. “He doesn’t give out autographs.” She sounded heartbroken.

“Oh look, a Waffle House! Leonard take us there, please!” Howard smiled woodenly and Leonard was wise enough to stay quiet and start driving towards the restaurant. He couldn’t blame Howard for his attitude, so far Penny looked unimpressed with Sheldon Cooper and he was pretty damn happy about it.

He decided, right after this case, he would confess to her.

“You’re lucky Penny is our friend, any other girl would have called the cops due to how much you were staring at her during dinner.” Howard joked and Leonard flushed with shame.

Penny was beautiful, of course he couldn’t stop watching her.

***

Sheldon grabbed the side of his head. The headache was not going away and he could swear that somehow, in the pressure he was feeling there was a voice. Madness, he was losing it. It was just a headache, nothing more.

He kept moving down the hallway.

Sheldon had thought this was just another case but he had quickly realized there was something different about this house.

From the outside this house had seemed normal. A Queen Anne style house from 1895, well preserved and clean. Windows in almost every wall made it so the house looked bright and welcoming. Its muted baby blue paint job only added to the charm and if that wasn’t enough to declare the house as perfect for living in, the porch swing added a note of nostalgia…or at least that had been how Missy had described it.

This was a perfectly normal house, but as soon as he stepped in he knew there was something wrong. It was noon when they entered the house but inside there was no light. He didn’t need his eidetic memory to remember that just a moment ago he had seen sunlight enter through the huge windows, there was no reason for the house to be this dark.

“Shelly, let me enter.” Missy complained as he blocked the doorway, unable to move. Not backwards at least.

He wanted to take a step back, wanted to run away from this place. But his feet were rooted in place, without knowing how, he understood that he was in another plane and under the influence of something larger than him. He couldn’t allow his sister to enter.

Using the last of his freewill he pushed Missy back and whispered. “Run.” His body had then stepped fully into this accursed place against every instinct telling him otherwise.

The door slammed behind him and it marked the beginning of his torture.

He had tried to go back but the door had disappeared behind him and it didn’t matter what direction he moved towards, it all looked the same. The same wooden and darkened hallway, shadows played tricks on his eyes.

He had a flashlight with him but it only made the shadows flicker and dance in odd patterns. He jerked his face away from a grasping hand only to realize it was a shadow.

Light didn’t behave properly in this place. He turned off the flashlight.

Nothing behaved properly. By his count he had been trapped here for eight thousand five hundred and forty one minutes and yet he had not felt hunger nor the need to relieve himself. He still needed sleep but every time he closed his eyes, whispers in an unknown language would haunt him just right next to his ear and when he opened his eyes only revealed the darkness of the hallway.

He was all alone.

Finally, after an eternity of walking he found a door. The hallway ended into a regular wooden door, it had nothing special about it and yet apprehension grew in his chest.

Sheldon put his hand on the doorknob and he had half expected to feel some sort of pain or backlash from it but there was nothing. The doorknob felt solid under his hand. Cold and real.

Slowly he turned the doorknob but as soon as he did a feeling of dread assaulted him. He suddenly felt cold all over and his teeth chattered, despite not feeling the need to pee since entering this space he felt the warmth of urine stain his pants. The warmth of it added a layer of humiliation and shame to his already damaged psyche.

Gasping, he let go of the doorknob. He was sweating excessively and his body shook with what he knew was adrenaline. He had almost died. He was certain of it, whatever laid behind that door would kill him.

Gritting his teeth he quickly backed away from the door and started walking in the direction he had come from. The hallway was dark and he could only see a few feet in front of him but he would much rather face the darkness than whatever was behind that accursed door.

He walked and didn’t look back.

***

Missy Cooper was a wonderful girl and she and Penny hit it off right away. In fact, if it wasn’t for the looming issue of her missing twin, Penny was a hundred percent sure they would be out in a mall on a shopping spree.

“And that’s when he pushed me and told me to run.” Missy wasn’t crying but her voice still broke. “I opened the door and he was just gone! It couldn’t have been more than 3 seconds from when he closed the door. I searched all over the place but Sheldon wasn’t there. I don’t understand what happened.” She sounded lost and Penny sat next to her and held her in a tight one armed hug.

Bernadette was diligently taking notes as she always did. Howard and Raj were walking around the house as they sneaked peeks at Missy’s legs under the cute sundress the brunette was rocking.

Leonard shifted between asking questions and drooling when he thought Missy wasn’t looking. “Uh, why did you call us? I mean, we’re amateurs compared to you guys.” Leonard asked.

“I called everyone, every group that we knew about, you guys were just the closest.” Missy admitted with a shrug.

Leonard deflated a little. Penny knew that he was proud of their little investigation group and maybe was expecting a more flattering response.

“Did you notice anything weird when your brother entered the house?” Bernadette asked without looking up from her notebook.

“Not really, he was blocking the view with his back and the inside of the house was dark.”

Bernadette nodded before stopping and frowning, she leafed through her notes and bit the end of the pen she was using. “Wait, you said it was around noon when you entered the place?”

Missy nodded. “Yeah, we-”

“And yet it was dark inside the house?” Bernadette interrupted Missy who only nodded once again. “Were there curtains on the windows?”

Missy frowned in thought and hesitantly shook her head. “No…now that you mention it, when I entered the house to search for Sheldon the house was full of light, I didn’t even need to turn on the light switch.”

“Howie, Raj! Search if the house has a basement!” Bernadette quickly ordered before turning to face Missy again. “What if it was a trap set at the entrance? You couldn’t see any light because your brother was walking into a box designed to trap him!”

Missy’s face brightened and Penny was glad to see it, she could tell the girl hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in a while.

Nothing else was said as they waited for the guys to finish investigating.

“Bernie! No basement.” Howard panted as he ran towards them. “We checked and there’s a crawl space but nothing is there. Honestly it’s kind of impressive, it’s all covered in tarp and there’s even a dehumidifier installed. Someone spent a lot of money on this place.”

Missy slumped and laughed bitterly. Bernadette scratched her head with the pen and frowned at her notebook. “Okay. We need to start checking for possible traps. Lenny, Howie and Raj, check the house for any possible hidden rooms. Check for noises of big machinery or scratches on the floor. Go!”

The three boys ran towards the house and Penny knew there were no better people around to handle this.

“Don’t worry, we’ll help you find your brother.” Penny smiled confidently at Missy and was glad the other girl returned the smile.

Penny might not have the same smarts as the rest of her friends but once they found the culprit they would quickly learn why Penny’s nickname was ‘Slugger’.

***

Sheldon woke up with a start. He swatted at nothing as his brain caught up with the fact that he was awake. He wanted to cry seeing he was still in the hallway. A sob escaped him and he slammed his head against the wall twice.

It made the ever present headache worse but he didn’t care.

It had been ninety five thousand two hundred and sixty three minutes since he had entered this realm of nothingness and he was starting to feel his grasp on sanity slip. He had begun understanding some of the whispers but he refused to acknowledge it. This place was not normal, he had long come to accept that whatever this was, it was truly paranormal.

It was beyond his understanding and IT HATED HIM. No, not him in particular, it hated everything.

Shakily he stood up to continue walking, there was nothing else he could do but keep walking. One foot in front of the other. Step, step.

“I leave Sisyphus at the foot of the mountain. One always finds one's burden again.” Sheldon recited out loud. He needed to hear someone’s voice, even if it was just his own.

“But Sisyphus teaches the higher fidelity that negates the gods and raises rocks. He too concludes that all is well.” He walked shakily, supporting himself with one hand on the wall as he slowly walked forward.

“This universe henceforth without a master seems to him neither sterile nor futile. Each atom of that stone, each mineral flake of that night-filled mountain, in itself, forms a world.” Tears ran down his face, he didn’t bother cleaning them.

“The struggle itself toward the heights is enough to fill a man's heart.” He laughed and cried.

“One must imagine Sisyphus happy.” He kept laughing as tears kept running down his face.

***

“No luck Bernie.” Howard said in a low voice. Missy was away from the group, calling her older brother.

“The house is clean, literally. Not a speck of dust.” Leonard had his glasses off as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. He always did that when frustrated.

Penny grimaced, she had hoped the guys would have found something. It had been a couple of hours and so far the house was just that, a house. No secret rooms, no hidden hallways, no hundred year old well with a cursed Japanese girl at the bottom of it.

In fact, why had the twins been investigating this house in the first place? Leonard had mentioned it was a haunted house but it looked just like any other house. She voiced her question to the group and no one had an answer.

They waited until Missy returned so she could tell them.

“The owner claimed that the house was growing.” Missy answered distractedly, looking at her phone. “He said that the house was bigger on the inside and that new doors and rooms were appearing at random.”

The group looked at each other and no one had a response.

“We ignored this case several times, until the owner sold it and the new owner reported something similar. The new owner claimed that the house was alive and that his daughter could hear the house breathe.”

Leonard put a hand to his chin in thought while Howard scratched at his head as he shared a look with Raj. Bernadette bit her lip and leafed through her notebook. Penny stayed quiet, this all sounded insane to her.

“Okay, how about we try the basics?” Bernadette finally said.

***

Sheldon covered his mouth with one hand as he stared at the door in front of him.

This was the second time he had encountered a door and the memory of it was still fresh, he could still taste death.

But he was tired of walking, so tired. He wanted to rest. He wanted to see Missy, he wanted to hug his Meemaw and he wanted to taste his mother’s spaghetti with hot dogs. He wanted to get out of this place.

He didn’t want to be alone anymore.

Hesitantly he put his hand on the doorknob, it was unnaturally cold and a sliver of fear ran down his spine. He looked back towards the endless darkness of the hallway and whimpered. He couldn’t go back.

He opened the door.

Pure and unforgiving darkness welcomed him. It was as if he was staring directly into the absence of everything. He thought of black holes and how they swallowed everything, light included. And even as ominous and terrifying as black holes were, they were nothing compared to the vast darkness in front of him.

He felt light headed and his chest hurt. He had to force himself to take a breath.

Sheldon didn’t know how long he had been standing there just looking at the sea of nothingness but now that he was breathing again he realized that his body wanted him to back away and close the door, to never see this again. Anything was better than this.

Before he could move away he noticed a blinking light in the middle of the darkness. Faint and weak at first until it grew little by little and Sheldon found that he couldn’t look away. Was he witnessing the big bang of another universe?

The light soon formed into an orb and it took him an uncomfortable amount of time to realize what he was looking at.

An eye.

A bright blue eye, a human eye watched him and for a moment Sheldon could have swore that he was both watching the darkness and watching himself from within the darkness. He blinked and the next moment there wasn’t just one eye watching him but many. All shapes and sizes, he recognized some as human eyes, some as animal eyes, rectangular pupils, w-shaped pupils and more observed him. But the ones that scared him the most were those that he didn’t recognize, even glancing at them brought him a feeling of discomfort from deep inside his chest.

He took a step back in fright and all eyes focused on him.

He should close the door, he begged his body to respond but it was useless, he was rooted to the spot. A bug in the sight of a predator.

An eternity passed like that and like extinguishing stars, one by one the eyes blinked closed and the darkness returned. All but one.

The blue eye blinked and Sheldon realized it was his own eye. He had seen it enough times in the mirror and something in his gut told him ‘This was yours’.

Blinding pain and a burst of warm blood forced him to his knees. He clawed at his left eye while screaming in desperation and anguish but the darkness simply kept watching, cold and uncaring.

Sheldon looked up and watched as the blue eye blinked into nothingness, joining the darkness and leaving him.

The door slammed closed in front of his face and he was left all alone in that damn hallway again.

He looked down at his bloody hands and he screamed in rage and impotence. He punched the wall over and over until he collapsed against it, sobbing.

With a grunt of pain he stood up and looked at the door.

Turning around he walked the other way in the direction he had just come from.

***

“Sheldon!!” Penny screamed to the top of her lungs and then stopped to listen.

Bernadette’s plan was simple: they would take turns yelling Sheldon’s name and then listen for any noises. He might be trapped or even tied down but by making noise he would know they were actively looking for him and maybe he would be able to make enough noise that they could follow it to wherever he was trapped or imprisoned.

He heard as Missy did the same in another part of the house. Then Leonard, Howard, Bernadette and then Raj outside the house.

“Sheldon!!” She yelled again as she walked by the hallway that connected the bedrooms to a storage room.

The hallway door rattled.

***

Sheldon sat with his head in between his legs.

He had decided to stop moving. Half of his face was caked in dried blood and he didn’t care anymore. He knew he would die here.

He just needed to wait.

Whatever it was that he had encountered here was far beyond his understanding, it was old and massive. It could eat universes and birth them at will. He was less than a speck of dust to it and the worst thing was that Sheldon wasn’t special or being tortured because he somehow knew something no one else did.

No.

Sheldon had just slipped into a crack. If this thing wanted him dead then Sheldon would be dead, it was as easy as that. But he wasn’t even a passing thought for whatever entity ruled this place.

Sheldon was a parasite lost in a stray piece of hair. Condemned to die and be forgotten. Too small and insignificant to matter.

He laid down on the floor to wait for his death.

Cursed voices whispered to him in tongues he was starting to understand. Seconds, minutes, years, eternities and eons he spent in that manner.

Finally, after the heat death of the universe something new broke through the eternal whispers.

“Sheldon!!” He had almost forgotten his own name. Was that his name still?

“Sheldon!!” The voice was closer now, he looked up and saw a door that hadn’t been there before. Some animal part of his brain forced him to move towards it and open it.

“Woah, careful there Cowbo…GUYS!” Was the last thing he heard before collapsing into something warm.

***

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.” Penny muttered to herself. “GUYS!” She yelled again.

She had found someone, she didn’t know if it was Sheldon or not but whoever this was, he was not doing great as she held him in her arms.

His face and body was covered in dried blood and he smelled like death. He was thin as a stick and his hair was wild and with patches of white and black hair seemingly at random.

“What’s wrong-oh god! Shelly!” Missy was the first one to arrive.

They couldn’t wait for an ambulance so they all jumped into their van and drove him to the nearest hospital. Penny was scared, this was not how things were supposed to go.

They were supposed to unmask some greedy asshole that somehow thought trying to scare people would get them what they wanted only to get thwarted by a group of teenagers.

Now they were driving to the hospital with a half dead boy.

In the middle of the drive Sheldon woke up, his good eye was wild and filled with fear, he looked around until he looked at her, he reached a hand out to her and she didn’t hesitate in taking it.

“Thank you.” His voice was hoarse and it must have hurt him to talk.

He lost consciousness again but his hand had a death grip on her. She squeezed back carefully but firmly and watched as his features softened in his sleep.

The rest was a blur, arriving to the hospital, nurses and doctors swarming them like angry bees and Sheldon being taken away. Missy left to call her older brother and Penny stayed behind, she didn't know why she stayed but she couldn't just leave this boy alone. Thankfully the staff quickly cleared him as being safe and he was moved to a room.

They must have bathed him or at least cleaned him, because he was no longer covered in blood and no longer smelled like a dead racoon. As she sat next to his bed Sheldon stirred awake once more in a panic, she stood up and grabbed his hand again, he looked at her and she could see a flash of recognition in his eye right before he calmed down and fell unconscious.

Missy was back soon after and was thrilled when Penny told her about Sheldon waking up. A new doctor was called to check on the sleeping teen and Penny left to give the siblings some privacy.

Maybe this town had a McDonald’s?

No, turns out this place did not have one. They had something called a ‘Capital Patty’ but it was already closed by the time they got there and so were all other places to get food. It seemed that life stopped in this town after six in the afternoon. With no other options they went back to the hospital and hoped the cafeteria was still open.

She sent the rest on the hunt for food and dropped by Sheldon’s room just to check on Missy.

The tall girl was sleeping on a chair and she was crashing, mouth open towards the ceiling and Penny felt bad waking her up but she was probably hungry herself and might need to step away from the room for a bit.

Of course that’s the moment yet another doctor chose to come in and check on Sheldon and Penny was the most awake of the two so she stayed.

When the doctor finally left Penny collapsed on one of the chairs next to the bed. They were exhausted, but Missy would not leave her brother’s side and Penny felt bad leaving her alone. The poor girl looked about ready to crash herself after the doctor’s visit woke her up.

Penny stared longingly at the door, the guys had probably already eaten something by now, it must have been crappy hospital food but she was jealous of them and she wondered if the cafeteria had coffee, it was probably the worst coffee ever made, but she needed a cup.

She shook herself and focused back on Missy and the boy in the bed. Missy was lovingly caressing her brother’s hair holding back tears.

The doctors had cleared him, he was dehydrated and exhausted but otherwise fine…if it weren’t for his missing eye of course. He had lost it but despite all the blood he wasn’t actually injured. It was as if his eye had simply liquified and ran down his face on its own, nothing they could do. He would need a prosthetic to avoid some issue with losing structural something.

She had been dead tired by that point to pay much attention if she was honest. Long story short, he needed to stay for a couple of days while he recovered fluids, spoke to the cops, etc. The doctor also mentioned that Sheldon would most likely need therapy of some kind to deal with whatever happened to him, not to mention the loss of his eye.

“Thank you Penny.” Missy finally stopped caressing her brother’s hair and took a seat on the other chair. Missy hadn’t stopped thanking her since they found Sheldon.

“I just wished we had gotten there sooner.” Penny was trying to not beat herself up but she couldn’t help but think about all the things they could have done differently. They shouldn’t have stopped at that Waffle House, she should have switched driving duties with Leonard so they didn’t have to sleep in a crappy motel, she could have driven all night, heck she had done that before just for fun.

Missy smiled sadly at her and patted her knee. “I will never be able to thank you enough.”

Penny felt uncomfortable, guilt ate at her conscience. “So when are your parents coming?” She needed to change the subject.

“Our parents died when we were thirteen.” Missy told her calmly and it took Penny’s sleepy brain an awfully long moment to fully understand what she had heard.

“Oh, oh! I’m so sorry, I didn’t kno-wow, okay. I’m sorry.” Penny rambled.

Missy smiled sadly at her. “It’s fine. Car accidents happen all the time. That’s life you know?” Missy shrugged in a way that did nothing to hide the obvious pain on her face.

“I should go get you a cup of coffee or something. You want coffee? I want coffee. No, we need something to eat, I’ll bring us something.” Penny had never lost a close family member and she couldn’t imagine the pain the other girl was feeling and the only way she could deal with this was by not being there.

“Okay.” Missy yawned. “But I need to go pee first, would you mind staying with him? I won’t take long.”

“I don’t mind, go.” Penny said quickly and felt her face heat up. She didn’t know about her parents but she still felt pretty bad about it.

Missy nodded and stood up, as she walked by her brother she touched his foot and said something but it was too low for Penny to understand.

The room was filled with the static and quiet beeps of the machine used to measure Sheldon’s vitals, after a moment Penny stood up and went to check on the sleeping boy.

He was clean and bandaged now, a far sight from the first time she had seen him. His sleeping face was gaunt and pale. Faint stubble dotted his cheeks in what her dad called ‘a bad lawn’ style and it would have been funny if it weren’t for the grimace of discomfort he had even when sleeping. He didn’t move around too much as he slept but it was obvious he was struggling with something even in his sleep.

Penny took a hold of his hand and was glad to see his face soften, his jaw unclenched and suddenly his face looked ten years younger.

If they had taken longer would have he died?

Even in the worst of their cases she never felt truly in danger. She was always able to come out on top somehow. But this experience brought the reality of it all to her face. She could have died. Hell, she and Bernadette could have suffered worse fates than just being tied to a chair for a couple of hours. She was going to college soon, she enjoyed spending time with her friends unmasking dumb people but she certainly didn’t want to do this for the rest of her life. She had larger dreams.

The next person lying on that hospital bed could be her.

Sheldon’s body suddenly lurched up from the bed with a gasp and it scared her to death. She let go of his hand and jumped back, her body unconsciously set into a fighting pose.

Sheldon looked around frantically, seeing but not actually seeing. He looked down at his body and at the electrodes connected to him and he frantically tried to rip them out but he was too frantic and scattered. His breathing was harsh and panicked.

“Hey, hey, no. Stop. You’re okay, we got you. We got you.” Penny moved to stop him and was surprised to find herself struggling to hold him, he was stronger than he looked.

Sheldon struggled for a moment longer before he finally focused on her face and she could see the recognition flash across his eye. “I’m out?” He whispered in hopeful disbelief.

Penny could see the fear plain on his face, the raw animal panic in his eye and it broke her heart. What had happened to him? “You’re out. We got you.” She reassured him.

Hesitantly, he stopped struggling, trying to calm his breathing but he was still looking around suspiciously, as if the room and everything in it would disappear if he blinked. She didn’t let go of him. He focused again on her. “I know you. I know your voice.” Awe in his voice.

“Yeah cowboy. You almost toppled me over.” She tried to smile but the memory of seeing him crumple in her arms was still too fresh so her smile came out more like a grimace.

Sheldon didn’t reply, he looked down at his body and moved his arms carefully, as if he was unsure on how to move. She finally let go of him but stayed close in case she needed to jump in again.

A sudden sob surprised her, he started crying, bawling and it was so raw that it brought tears to her eyes, she swiped at them and sniffed loudly.

The sniff made him notice her again and the look of pure awe and childish worship took her breath away. “Thank you.” He told her in a breathless whisper and it only made her cry harder.

She didn’t trust her voice so she simply nodded and smiled at him.

“I’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mouti’mout” She couldn’t understand him at first but she soon realized he was muttering ‘I’m out’ over and over. As if trying to convince himself.

“I should go get a doctor.” Penny swiped at her eyes again.

“No!” His face was full of fear again and he stretched an arm towards her. “No. Don’t leave me.” He begged and she could see his whole body shake.

“I…okay.” She grabbed his hand, it was so cold. “Missy will be right back, she just went out for a moment.” She ran her thumb over his knuckles in what she hoped was a comforting gesture.

Sheldon nodded and yawned, his eyelid closing against his will and she could see him struggle to stay awake. “I don’t want to go back.” He muttered sleepy. “I don’t want to be alone.”

Penny had to hold back tears and she used her free hand to brush some of his hair off his forehead in the same way Missy had done before. “I got you. No one is getting to you without going through me first.” She promised.

Sheldon didn’t reply but he squeezed her hand twice before sleep claimed him.

Penny really wanted to hurt the person that had done this to him.

***

Cold.

That’s all he could feel. So cold.

It wasn’t the type of cold he was used to, no. This cold was wet and it stuck to him uncomfortably, it made his arms hurt from the inside out and made his legs feel brittle.

He kept walking.

He didn’t want to focus on the cold. His mind warned him against it, he knew that if he focused on it he would be able to feel the cold slither and coil around him like a living thing. For once he was thankful for the darkness of the hallway.

Sheldon kept walking.

***

Leonard shuffled awkwardly in place. He was debating whether to go in or not.

Penny. His Penny had pulled the chair up to the hospital bed and she was sleeping while holding Sheldon Cooper’s hand and it made his chest clench uncomfortably.

She was only supposed to go in and ask Missy if she wanted something to eat, she wasn’t supposed to stay there and sleep while holding another boy’s hand.

They should leave this place, they came and they did their thing. They saved the day. So why were they still here?

After a long and awkward moment he backed away from the doorframe and went back to the cafeteria.

He nodded at Missy as they passed each other in the hallway.

Returning to the cafeteria he found that Bernadette was still reading a book as she ate a cup of yogurt. Howard and Raj had put three chairs together and were sleeping as they held one another. Living in a van for months had made this sight far more common that anyone wanted to acknowledge. Especially for those two.

He sighed loudly as he took a seat across from Bernadette.

Without looking up Bernadette chided him. “If you don’t want her in that room, just tell her. She’s going to tell you go suck a lemon but at least you’d have an answer and can stop sulking, mister.”

“What? No, I-No, it’s not like that.” Leonard flinched like he had been slapped and he was thankful that the cafeteria was mostly empty. “I was just wondering when Missy would be back, that’s all.”

Bernadette sighed in the same way his mother did when she caught him lying and he could feel the familiar sting of shame spread into his whole body. “Leonard…cut the bullpoopy. You’ve had a crush on Penny since we all became friends in first grade. You think I haven’t noticed? You always act like this when she shows any interest in a boy or better said, when YOU think she’s interested in a boy.”

“I don’t-” He shouldn’t have bothered to try and speak because Bernadette just steamrolled through him.

Bernadette raised one finger “Kurt asked her to the Homecoming dance and you sulked for a week straight. Even though you never got the courage to ask her yourself.” Another finger raised. “Last year when we were on that case in Malibu and that hot surfer, Zach, asked her on a date, you sulked for a month.” Another finger raised. “When she was working as a waitress to buy that new pair of shoes she wanted and her mentor was a hot guy, you stopped talking to her until you finally noticed said guy was actually gay. Just because Penny hasn’t realized you have feelings for her, doesn’t mean the rest of us are blind.”

Leonard grimaced as his past behavior was thrown in his face. “I’m not sulking.” He sulked. “I’m just wondering why we’re still here. We saved the day, we’re the heroes, we can move on. There’s not a lot of time left before we have to go back and…” He shrugged and bunched his shoulders as he slumped in the chair.

“You’re wondering why we’re not leaving a pair of traumatized teenagers to deal with all this pain on their own?” Bernadette deadpanned.

Leonard refused to answer and shrugged as best as he could in his position. He knew he was being childish but he didn’t care. This summer was supposed to be for him and Penny to spend time together before he finally confessed his feelings.

“Okay mister, you’re not doing any favors for yourself. You better not let Penny hear this. She was the one that found him so of course she wants to make sure he’s okay. You better lose the attitude because no woman wants to date a toddler.” Bernadette glared at him and pointed with a finger.

Leonard pouted. Why couldn’t he get a break?

***

Sheldon woke up in a panic, flailing at nothing. His breathing was hard and he struggled to understand where he was.

He was lying on a bed, cables were attached to him and the only sound in the room was his loud breathing and the beeps of the machine next to his bed.

With one hand he roughly scrubbed at his face, fearful that it was an illusion but no, he was still in the same room. He moved his sore body and groaned, his back and feet hurt.

Half awake, he looked around the room again. It was a hospital room. He was out? He was alone.

Alone.

The thought made him curl into himself, his breaths came in rushed and hard. He struggled to get himself under control. Tears ran down his face as fear and panic wrecked his body. Sob after sob left his mouth, uncaring on who might hear him.

He didn’t want to be alone.

A shadow fell over him and he pushed himself against the mattress, an animal sound of pain escaped him. He felt light headed, he couldn’t breathe. The shadows were here as well!

Something touched his shoulder and he launched himself off the bed, pain flared all over his body but he didn’t care. Anything was better than being touched by those things. He struggled to get on his feet, he needed to keep walking. His legs refused to listen so he crawled away, away from whatever horror wanted to claim him.

A buzzing sound filled his ears, he could hear his blood pumping, begging him to move.

Something grabbed his face and forced him to look into green eyes. Familiar green eyes.

“Oh.” He said before passing out.

***

“Oh Shelly.” Missy sobbed as the nurses left the room.

Penny rubbed at her forehead in frustration. She had just left the room because Leonard wanted to tell her something and in the five minutes she had been away all hell broke loose.

Leonard had been fidgeting as he tried to tell her something when she heard Missy scream and ran back into the room only to find Sheldon on the floor crawling away from his sister.

Penny didn’t know what to do but her body acted, forcing Sheldon to look her in the face, he had calmed down before passing out.

Missy was a mess as well. She told them that she had come into the room after hearing a noise and found her twin curled up in bed sobbing loudly, she had tried to grab his shoulder but that only made things worse.

Penny really wanted to hurt the person that had hurt Sheldon and left him like this.

“Uh, Penny.” Leonard said quietly and she shook her head.

“Not now Leonard.” Her voice was sharp and angry. Not at him, but the whole situation. She went to sit with Missy and hugged the stuffing out of the crying girl.

***

Darkness.

It was all darkness.

It didn’t matter where he looked, he knew there would be nothing but darkness.

Nowhere was safe, he could see THEM in the dark. Slithering and undulating, the darkness hid their unknowable shapes. He felt them caress him, uncaring and sensual at the same time, he felt as they left a cold and slimy trail on his body. Darkness boiled and he could feel it all around him.

It didn’t matter if he closed his eyes. The darkness was everywhere.

Even inside of him. He couldn’t escape.

***

“I’m sorry.” The sheriff wiped sweat off his forehead with a handkerchief as he walked away.

“This is bullshit.” Penny muttered and Missy squeezed her hand. “How could they have not found anything?!” The sheriff was still close so she said it in a harsh whisper.

Missy shook her head and walked back into the room where Sheldon was sleeping. “Once he’s able to walk again we’re leaving this fucking place and never coming back.” Angry tears pooled in the corner of her eyes.

Penny sat next to Sheldon's bed and held his hand. Like magic his features softened and his breathing gradually became easier.

“Thank you for saving him, I think he knows.” Missy said, cleaning the corner of her eyes with a bunched up tissue.

Penny didn’t reply right away, staring at Sheldon’s sleeping form. “I think I’m done with this type of thing. I want to become an actress and I can’t do that if I’m lying dead in a ditch.”

Missy took a shuddering breath and nodded. “I get it. I was the one that pushed him to start doing this. We were kids and I found it fun how he could find a rational explanation for everything, it made momma mad.” She laughed a little. “And then we kept doing it and somehow Shelly was able to make it so we could make money doing it. After losing momma and daddy we got more into it. I think we were both trying to not focus on the loss so much…” Another shuddering breath. “But we’re done now. Once we’re back in California Shelly’s going to focus on science and I’ll be a waitress or something. Anything but this.” She gestured towards the bed.

“Do you guys have a car?” Penny asked.

“Yeah, we have a Winnebago Camper Van.” Missy rolled her eyes. “Shelly needs an actual mattress to sleep in.” She smiled but it turned watery after a moment.

“Do you think I can tag along with you guys? My group and I were supposed to go to Nevada after this case but…” Penny left the rest in the air.

“Of course. I will never be able to repay all you’ve done. This is the least I can do. Besides…I think it’ll do Shelly good to have you close.”

“Don’t mention it. And I really enjoy-” Penny was interrupted by Leonard clearing his throat at the door.

“Penny? Could I have a moment with you? We have a group meeting.” He backed out before quickly returning “At the van.” He added and left.

Penny looked at the boy lying on the hospital bed and she squeezed his hand twice, hoping that he knew she’d be back. She said a quick ‘Be right back’ to Missy and moved to go find her group. Stopping by a vending machine to grab a snickers bar.

She was still eating it when she got the van, the door was open and Bernadette and Howard were tracing something on a map while Raj was setting up his telescope right there in the parking lot. Leonard was pacing in front of the van.

Penny ruffled Raj’s hair and smiled at him and then said a quick hello to the rest before taking a seat by the open door of the van, her feet dangled slightly over the asphalt as she finished her candy bar.

“What’s up?” She said after a moment of waiting and when it became obvious that Leonard would not speak up.

“What? Oh yes. Penny, we all think that it’s time to move on. We have that case in Nevada waiting for us and I-I mean, we. We think that it’s also time to let the Coopers have time for themselves.” Leonard scrunched up his face and attempted to smile.

Penny said nothing for a long moment, she just looked down and watched her feet.

“Penny?” Leonard asked hesitantly.

“I heard you.”

An awkward silence filled the air. She could feel the rest of the group adjust and turn towards her.

“I heard you.” She repeated. “But I’m not going.” She nodded to herself, sure that this was the right path.

“Penny!” Leonard yelped. He looked frantically at the others but the rest stayed quiet. “Guys, a little help!”

“Why?” Bernadette asked her directly.

“I don’t know about you guys but after what happened here, this is no longer fun for me.” She shrugged and shook her head. “What happened to Sheldon could have happened to any of us. What are we doing guys? How many times were me and Bernadette captured by the bad guys? We have always brushed it off but the truth of it is that we got off lucky, what if next time we’re not so lucky?”

Bernadette looked thoughtful for a moment before she nodded. “Yeah…I…I never told you guys but…remember that zombie case in Nebraska? Well…I…” Bernadette's voice choked out and she trailed off, she cleared her throat but everyone could hear the tears about to burst. “Mr Higgins, when he captured me. He-” Sob. “He touched me.”

Penny didn’t hesitate before launching herself at the shorter girl and pulling her into a hug.

“What the fuck man!” Howard yelled before also hugging Bernadette.

“B-Bernie…” Penny looked up and saw it had been Raj who spoke, he was halfway into the van. His eyes were wide and misty as he looked hesitantly at Bernadette. Bernadette opened her arms as best as she could towards Raj and soon they were all in a hug pile.

Penny stopped hugging Bernadette for a moment to look into her face. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Her voice was raw with pain.

Sobbing, Bernadette did her best to answer. “He told me it was my fault, for being there and, and, and-” Penny crushed her into another hug and cried alongside her.

Penny had felt bad for Mr Higgins at first, she had blown out his knee with her bat and they had told her he would live in pain for the rest of his life. Now she hoped she had done the same to his other knee, and arms and head.

Leonard sat near the open door to the van and held his face in his hands as his shoulders shook.

***

Sheldon observed his reflection in the mirror and didn’t recognize himself.

Thanks to his eidetic memory he would never be able to forget his own face, but the face he saw in the mirror wasn’t ‘him’. He had always been aware of the boyish nature of his face but the face staring back at him couldn't be called a boy anymore.

Stress lines across his face made him look older. His one eye looked muted and sad all the time now. He was a shell of a person.

He moved his head side to side, trying to gauge how bad his hair looked. He had never been a frivolous man but the state of his hair roiled his stomach, it disgusted him to no end. Patches of white littered all around his head, as if a disgusting monochromatic ladybug had taken residence on his head.

Once he was back in his apartment he would research what was the best rated color treatment on the market.

And yet, all of that paled in comparison to the worst change he has suffered. He only had one eye now, the doctors had already removed the bandages off it and the first time he had seen himself in the mirror he had a panic attack. There was nothing in his eye socket.

Pure darkness.

A darkness he was familiar with. Darkness that gripped at his heart and eroded his soul. A darkness that waited for him every time he fell asleep. Missy and Penny had tried to cheer him up but he couldn’t tell them the full truth of why he felt this way.

Standing in front of the mirror he closed his eyes and everything turned to darkness. His heart rate spiked and it took active effort from him to not devolve into a nervous wreck. He opened his eyes again and was greeted by his face.

The doctor had warned him about struggles adapting to depth perception, and while he had nodded along he couldn’t really tell the doctor that he was able to see just fine.

Sheldon covered both his eyes with his hands while keeping them open. He lowered his right hand and was able to see his reflection, his regular blue eye and part of his nose. He raised his right hand again to cover his eye again and then lowered his left hand and was greeted by his reflection, a pool of darkness where his left eye was supposed to be.

The darkness inside his eye taunted him.

Somehow, he was still able to see. There was nothing there and yet he could see just fine. It was madness, total utter madness. No one would believe him, who could?

As soon as he got back to California he would order a custom prosthetic eye, something to cover up the darkness.

He sneered at his reflection and his hands gripped the sink. He wanted to break the mirror, he wanted to rip out the sink and hurl it at his reflection, he was shaking with impotence and anger.

He truly wasn’t the same man.

Sheldon wanted to growl but only a sob came out, defeated, he slumped against the sink. He was finding it very hard to modulate his emotions, he now hated being the dark with a passion and he overall felt lost and adrift.

Being around Missy and Penny helped him to return to a version of himself but things had changed, a massive shift in his universe.

He felt very tired and looked longingly at the bed through the bathroom’s open door, but he shook his head and focused on the mirror again. He still needed to shave, he had asked Penny for a favor and she would be here in half an hour.

Opening the cheap Gillette razor Missy had purchased for him, he began the slow process of cleaning himself up while looking himself in the mirror as little as possible.

***

Penny watched the burning house with detached amusement. She then turned to her side to watch Sheldon and his reaction but he was stoic, if it weren’t for the subtle but constant shaking of his body she would have been fooled into thinking he was okay.

Flames danced in his eye.

Turning back to the house she stared until sirens sounded in the distance. “I think that’s our signal to leave.” She said softly. They were far enough from the raging inferno that no one should be able to connect them to it but she still would rather not be in the vicinity when emergency services arrived.

The only response she got was the distant crackling and popping of the fire. Sheldon hadn’t been satisfied just with burning the house down, the house and its surroundings were being scorched into nothing.

“Sheldon?” She asked softy.

Said man took a deep breath and nodded. “Let’s go. Thank you Penny.” His voice was subdued.

As they walked back to the van she wasn’t surprised by him reaching out to hold her hand. He had been doing that since waking up and she didn’t mind. She squeezed his hand twice.

“Penny, do you know how to dye hair?” She might be imagining things but his voice was a little lighter now.

“Oh! I help my mom all the time, we’ll stop by the grocery store before returning to the hospital. Your sister is probably freaking out by now.”

Penny had technically sneaked Sheldon out as he hadn’t been officially released yet but he had asked her to help him burn down this hell house and she couldn’t say no.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk to the police again?” She knew he had already given a statement but as far as she knew the police were just sitting around playing with their guns and not doing any actual police work.

Sheldon shook his head. “They didn’t believe me and wanted me to put the blame on innocent people.”

And that was that.

They stopped by the only Target in town and she chose a L’oreal gray coverage dye for him that was pretty close to his original hair color. When they got back to the hospital Missy didn’t freak out, she hadn’t actually noticed that they had left, too busy fielding calls from her older brother.

“Georgie has more of Momma in him than he likes to admit.” Missy said while rolling her eyes in fond annoyance.

“Okay Cowboy, let’s cover up those gray hairs.” Penny was wearing plastic gloves and she kinda felt bad for the cleaning staff at the hospital, she personally knew how much it sucked to clean hair dye stains.

“Make sure you do his eyebrows as well.” Missy called from the room.

“My eyebrows?!” Sheldon looked surprised and Penny couldn’t help but laugh, it was good seeing him like this, without that constant worry on his face.

***

Leonard tried to stay calm, after Bernadette’s revelation they had all decided to just drive back to California, call his older sister who was a lawyer and see if they could get Mr Higgings to do more time for what he had done to Bernadette and then to make sure Bernadette got counseling.

He thought that was the perfect course of action. So why the hell was Penny not riding back with them?

“I don’t get it!” He was pacing right next to their van, only Howard and Raj were with him. The rest had gone to pick up the Cooper van from the hotel’s parking lot.

“Dude, the man is traumatized. You saw how he’s been having random panic attacks.” Raj was eating a cheeseburger and he passed a paper bag to Howard who grabbed a couple of fries from it and nodded.

“But that’s not Penny’s responsibility!” He felt like he was the only sane one. They had only met the Coopers a week ago and now everyone was acting as if they were their best friends.

“Buddy, that’s not cool.” Howard frowned at him and Leonard felt a pang of shame. “You know Sheldon feels safe around Penny, she saved him. We’re all driving back to California and she’s going to be riding with them. ‘Them’ His sister included. There’s nothing strange or suspicious going on.”

“I know! I know!” Leonard couldn’t stop pacing. “Which makes this so messed up. It’s not Sheldon’s fault but can’t I blame him a little?” He knew he sounded pathetic but he was feeling like time was running out.

Raj stopped eating his burger and gave him a hard stare. Leonard flinched, Raj was the sweetest guy and if he was looking at Leonard that way he knew he was in the wrong. “Dude…” Raj shook his head and the disappointed twist of his mouth was like a slap to Leonard. “That’s really not cool. You were the one that never told Penny anything for years! Howard and I told you that you needed to tell her at the start of the school year, you said no. We told you needed to tell her during winter break, you said no. We told you to tell her as soon as summer break started but you said no again. And now here you are, throwing a tantrum because Penny is being nice to a boy she saved.” Raj shook his head again and went back to eating.

“But…” Leonard had finally stopped pacing and he stood still watching his friends. “It’s our last summer together and we were supposed to be having fun but now it all went wrong and I feel like I’m losing her but if I say anything about it suddenly I’m the bad guy!” Leonard threw his hands in the air.

“It would be a whole different story if she was your girlfriend.” Howard chimed in. “But she isn’t, you can’t tell her that she can’t help Sheldon.”

Leonard nodded before he stopped himself. “Maybe I can?”

Both of his friends widened their eyes and shared a look. “Lenny…please tell me you’re not going to try anything dumb.” Howard pleaded.

“I can still confess right?” He asked them and looked for any sign of support. “Right?”

“Dude. I-” Raj ran a hand through his hair in frustration before turning to look at Howard. His friends shared a look that he couldn’t decipher.

“Look, Leonard. Buddy. Do you want Penny to hate you? Because that’s all you’re going to get.”

“But why! Why! Why have things changed?! Why are you all acting this way?!” Leonard begged, he truly wanted to understand.

“Leonard.” Raj said sharply. “We rescued a boy that was being tortured or something very close to it, he lost his eye and Penny was the one to find him. We also found out what happened to Bernie and none of us are exactly feeling like heroes at the moment. I don’t know about you but I feel like shit that Bernie thought she couldn’t come to us to tell us what happened.”

Howard nodded. “We were joking around while Bernie was suffering. I don’t know what to tell you man. Things have changed. Why can’t YOU see that?”

“I don’t want to lose you all!” Leonard wanted to scream. “Before you guys I had no one, now I’m going back to being alone in New Jersey while you guys stay together here! Why can’t you see that?” Leonard wanted to cry, he was angry and frustrated that none of his friends could see how much he was hurting.

“Dude, I don’t want to fight. You chose to go to New Jersey. You didn’t have to, but you did.” Raj threw his wrapper into the paper bag with more force than needed. Leonard wanted to call out Raj, to tell him not everyone had rich parents that could pay for any school they wanted but he stayed quiet. Howard, Bernadette and Penny were all taking loans to go to college.

“Besides, we can still play WoW. We’re still going to be chatting every Friday night. You’re not losing us.” Howard was kinder in his approach.

“It’s just not fair.” Leonard said, looking at the sky.

***

“Okay breathe, I got you. I got you.” Sheldon nodded as he held Penny’s hand. He was trying to slow down his breathing.

They had been waiting near the van for Missy and Bernadette to get back from checking out when Sheldon had another panic attack. This time it happened after a stranger touched him by accident. The man had been walking by Sheldon and for some reason he touched Sheldon’s arm, maybe the man had stumbled but the only thing he knew was that suddenly his arm was being pulled down and he couldn’t see why. It brought back horrible memories that made him feel as if he was stuck back in that darkness.

Damn his eidetic memory.

“Breathe.” Thankfully Penny had been there and she quickly moved him into the van to help him calm down.

Tears ran down his face, he felt weak and worthless because Penny’s hand was the only thing stopping him from fully breaking down.

“I’m sorry!” He sobbed out. “I’m sorry!” He wasn’t fully sure why he was apologizing but since waking up in that hospital bed he had felt like someone else, as if some stranger was wearing his skin and walking around in it.

“Hey, it’s fine. You’re fine. You’re going to be just fine.” He wanted to retort that nothing would ever be fine again, that she was a fool for thinking that.

But he wanted to believe in her words. He squeezed her hand twice.

***

“Penny.” She looked up from her bowl of chicken soup and found Leonard had taken Bernadette’s seat at some point.

“What’s up?” Penny didn’t wait for his answer, she dove right back into her soup.

“I just wanted to see how you were doing.” Leonard kept glancing at the side where Sheldon was speaking with the manager. Apparently his chicken soup didn’t have the right type of noodles. “Because you know, you haven’t been riding with us so we haven’t had a chance to talk.” He fidgeted with his glasses and couldn’t look her in the eye.

“It’s been okay.” She shrugged. Sheldon could be a little uptight when it came to her turn behind the wheel but she liked arguing with him, it brought him away from that dark and muted mood he sometimes slipped into. Maybe he didn’t notice but he was smiling a lot recently.

“Oh.” Leonard sounded disappointed but before she could question him further Bernadette returned from wherever she had gone and kicked him from her seat.

Leonard didn’t approach her again but she could swear he was sulking for some reason. Bernadette told her to not pay him any mind but she still didn’t like how he spoke to Sheldon sometimes. Just because he was in a bad mood didn’t mean he had to take it out on other people.

***

Sheldon woke up with a gasp but before he could even think beyond the fact he had woken up, a hand grabbed the side of his head.

“Hey, hey, it’s fine. We’re in the van.” Penny told him softly.

Breathing deeply he looked around, they were in the Winnebago. Missy was up front driving.

Sheldon blinked and he remembered, he had felt tired after lunch and went to the back to rest. He must have fallen asleep at some point.

Penny was on the mattress with him, she must have heard him about to freak out and was ready.

“Thank you Penny.” He smiled at her.

“You got it Cowboy.” She smiled back and squeezed his hand twice. Sheldon squeezed back.

***

“Leonard, you’re going to grind your teeth to dust.” Bernadette told him calmly and he turned to glare at her but she flicked him in the forehead. Hard. “Don’t look at me like that mister.”

Leonard rubbed at his forehead and stopped glaring at her. “What?”

“You could be sitting with them instead of being all alone in this corner while you eat your sandwich.” She didn’t look amused.

The group, which now included Sheldon and Missy, were eating lunch at a park table. They had stopped by a clearing that had some camping grounds and they all decided to stop and have lunch there, to appreciate nature.

But Leonard was sitting away from the group.

“So what? Am I supposed to stay there and watch as Penny holds someone else’s hand?” He couldn’t understand why Penny and Sheldon were holding hands. The rest of the group were acting as if this was the most normal thing in the world and it was making him go crazy.

“Oh Leonard.” Bernadette shook her head sadly and walked back to sit between Raj and Howard without saying anything else to him.

***

“I’ll call you so we can go shopping, or you can call me.” Missy told her and Penny smiled and nodded.

“Penny. I…” Sheldon kept opening and closing his mouth without any words coming out. “Thank you.” He finally said after a long moment, his words were heavy with meaning.

“You better call me as well Cowboy.” She grabbed his hand and squeezed twice. She smiled when he squeezed back.

They were in front of Bernadette’s house and soon everyone had said their goodbyes. Penny waved goodbye to Sheldon and Missy.

She stretched out her back and gasped as something popped.

“Want to order some Pizza?” Bernadette told her and Penny smiled and nodded. They had returned early but summer was still here. A couple of weeks lying around or going out shopping didn’t sound so bad.

“Here you go Bernie, we’ll go drop off the van at my house and then we’ll bike over here.” Howard said before Leonard jumped out the van.

“Actually, mind if I stay?” Leonard said and some weird communication happened in a moment but Howard didn’t look too happy as he sped off. “Ummm Bernie, do you mind? I want to talk to Penny for a moment.”

Bernadette narrowed her eyes at Leonard and raised a finger. “You have ten minutes, while I order the pizza.”

“BBQ Chicken with-” Penny started but Bernadette waved her off.

“I know, I know. Extra sauce.” She pointed at Leonard again. “Ten minutes.”

Leonard nodded and he fidgeted in place. He had a grim look on his face and Penny was worried.

“Penny, I…”

***

Leonard wanted to tell Penny how he felt. How he had loved her since he first saw her all those years ago. How much she meant to him, how her kindness had saved him more than she could ever know. He wanted to tell her so much.

Instead he put his foot in his mouth.

“So what was all that with Sheldon huh?”

As soon as the words left his mouth he knew he had screwed up. Fury filled Penny’s eyes.

“What is it to you Leonard? Last I checked, you were my friend not my dad.” Penny crossed her arms. “And don’t think I didn’t notice how rude you were to Sheldon.”

“Rude? Rude?! He’s the one that called me a monkey and that he was surprised I made it out of high school.” Leonard raised his voice.

“That’s after you made fun of him for having a panic attack. I’m not blind Leonard.”

This isn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to fight with her. He wanted to tell her how he felt.

“You’re not blind? Please, what a joke. You’re so blind you don’t realize he wanted to sleep with you! Or maybe you were already sleeping with him? Is that why you slept in his van instead of with us?”

The slap rattled his brain. Penny wasn’t called ‘Slugger’ for nothing.

“How dare you?” She hissed in pure anger.

“Struck a nerve huh?”

Shut up Leonard, shut up. He could see any chances of a relationship with Penny crumble right in front of his eyes and yet he could do nothing about it.

“I don’t know what your problem is. I truly don’t.” Penny confessed and it only made him angrier.

I love you Penny. “Maybe if you weren’t making eyes at every single man you’d notice!” I want to be with you. “Sheldon is just going to leave you like Kurt, or Zach.” I don’t want to fight with you. “I’d mention more names but it would take me all day!”

Please love me.

***

Sheldon sighed in relief as he took a seat in his spot. Missy did the same with her armchair.

It finally made him think that things would be okay like Penny was so fond of saying. Feeling grimy after the long drive he decided to take a shower.

“I’m going to sleep on a real bed, don’t bother me.” Missy declared standing up and moving towards her room.

Entering his room for his shower supplies he immediately froze.

Sitting in the middle of his bed was a book. Nothing else was out of place. Just the book.

It wasn’t a book he recognized, the color was an odd choice. A violet so dark that it looked black at moments. The material was leathery and oddly warm to the touch. No words or pictures were on the cover or in the back.

Opening it he found a small piece of paper with a few words scrawled on it. ‘Knowledge is power.’

Curious, he began reading the book.

‘Norugthaisar The Observer. May his endless sight darken our world.’

Sheldon grimaced and scratched at what had been his left eye, it was hurting.

He kept reading.

#shenny #fanfiction #cosmic horror #lovecraft #the big bang theory #ao3 #penny tbbt #sheldon cooper

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fantasyinvader · 1 year ago

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@gascon-en-exil

I know we've talked about this before, about how Cajun food is more well known than the food of Quebecois. I've actually been watching a bunch of videos by a youtuber named Tyler Bucket where he learns about Canada, from our snacks to our fast food places and even history stuff like Terry Fox. And watching this just made me curious about why Quebec's food culture.

As I've said before, Quebec really has a thing for sweets. Like, you do not have Vachon many varieties of snack cakes. Turns out that's because Vachon was bought out by a foreign company and doesn't want to expand into the US due to competition with Hostess, and that's kind of a reoccuring thing. You're also not as big on maple syrup whereas in Canada you can go to events where they serve warm maple syrup on snow. I am not making that up.

Anyway, Quebecois food traces itself back to 17th century French cuisine, adapted to suit Canada with influence from native Americans, British traders and even some parts of American cuisine because of Quebec's history with the fur trade. The poverty of Quebec's past, alongside harsh winters and the condition of the soil all play a role in it, leading to more traditional meals using game meat.

Beans slow cooked with bacon and maple syrup, or a thick pea soup that may have chunks of ham added, that's some traditional Quebec food you can find in your grocery stores. Back when I ran my parent's restaurant, I once had to explain the concept of a “hot chicken” sandwich, as in chicken between two pieces of bread covered in gravy. We have the Pâté chinois, or Shepard's Pie, with ground beef on the bottom, corn in the middle and mashed potatoes on the top all baked together (it's actually one of my favorite meals, especially if there is gravy to top it off with in the event it's a little dry). If I was to head out more towards Eastern Quebec, there's more of a focus on fish and lobster such as serving lobster on a hot dog bun.

That's actually a thing you used to be able to get at McDonald's in the Atlantic provinces, the McLobster, but to my understanding it's one of McDonald's failed menu items like the McPizza (which everyone I've ever heard mention it misses greatly)

(looking at list) I had never heard of Pizza-ghetti before, where it's either a half-pizza served with spaghetti on the side, or spaghetti served on top of a pizza with melted cheese on top... I want to try that now.

I guess that's the thing about Quebec food. We have great sweets and baked goods, but a lot of our food prioritizes practicality and a lot of it is variations to what people were eating in France a few hundred years ago before it became modern French cuisine. I guess with the contacts I have on here that are from France, you come to Quebec you're going to be eating food that would be out of your history books... well, that and poutine. Maybe pizza-ghetti.

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joancoyechina · 2 years ago

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Day 2: Arrival in Shanghai

Landed Beijing and were fingerprinted twice in the first 15 min of proceeding through a Health Center, Boarder Control and Customs. Doing our homework paid off as we had all the requisite forms completed in advance : ) Navigated to the domestic side for Shanghai flight.

Starting to notice cultural differences….lots of caution signs “Hold on to the handrail”, “No Climbing on the sides” “Watch your step”….all these warnings on one small escalator - lol! Managed my first my first squatty-potty successfully....it's BYO TP!

Wade procured a McDonalds coffee and we chuckled at their offering of a cup of corn as a snack. Also....who knew there were fig matcha flavored Oreos?? We’ve already mastered paying for things -with WeChat pay and Alipay (set up in advance).

Speed Racer the cabbie wove in and out of traffic delivering us to the Amara Signature Shanghai. Our first Chinese dinner: A mean looking fish and vegetable dishes. Can’t lie…..it was ok, but not alot of flavor.

Tourist Note: Download ahead of time the Alipay app. If you do it before you get here you can connect it with your regular credit card and use it to pay for everything here. Also download Didi which is their UBER and connects your card with Alipay. Transportation is easy this way and very cheap.

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theshippirate22 · 2 years ago

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listen st4 ROBBED us of so so so much, but really I think the the biggest travesty is the fact that we never got platonic Harringham. Like, of course, platonic Stobin is so perfect in every way- i worship it really- and i don’t mean to minimize that AT ALL but like.

Steve and Chrissy absolutely LOSING THEIR SHIT at a football game.

Steve and Chrissy having a crush on the same baseball player and arguing over which pants his ass looks better in.

Steve and Chrissy giving each other the same ??? look when Robin or Eddie say something nerdy.

Steve and Chrissy going to the gym together and losing track of whose basketball shorts are whose.

Steve and Chrissy bonding over the fact that their mothers hate them.

Steve teaching Chrissy to cook and slowly helping her get over her eating disorder.

Steve and Chrissy sharing tips for sore muscles and collapsing on the couch together with bags of frozen peas and corn after going a little too hard.

Steve and Chrissy going for runs at dawn together and getting back long before Robin or Eddie would ever dream of being awake.

Steve and Chrissy throwing the biggest super bowl party ever and screaming and grabbing each other’s arms every time there’s a touchdown.

Steve, who’s been having migraines since his first concussion, helping Chrissy out, who’s started getting headaches since Vecna fucked with her head.

Chrissy offering to drive Lucas to and from basketball because she’s going to the school for cheer anyway, and it’s one less thing he has to worry about.

Steve and Chrissy sitting in on a DnD game, getting bored a few hours in and going out to the driveway to play Horse (Chrissy has never won- she wants the challenge so she never lets Steve go easy on her and he respects her enough not to)

Steve and Chrissy side-eyeing each other when someone has the AUDACITY to say they like the Colts, knowing full well that they’re going to have to dish on the person the second they get in the car (They know the Colts are Indiana’s team. The Steelers are just… better.)

Steve protecting Chrissy from creepy ex-boyfriends who just want to take advantage of her, and Chrissy protecting Steve from creepy ex-girlfriends who just want to take advantage of him.

Chrissy convincing Steve to get back into swim, and him agreeing as long as she gets back into dance.

Chrissy wearing her whole cheer uniform to his meets and sitting on the edge of the bleachers every time he’s in the pool, palms sweating as he flies through the water- Robin and Eddie went to go get McDonald’s an hour ago- eyes darting from his silhouette to the clock and back again, muttering under her breathe, “Come on, Steve, come on!”

Chrissy screaming when he wins, running to the edge of the pool to grab him, even though he’s soaking wet and she spent so long on her hair and “Holy shit, you did amazing!”

Steve making his own sort of cheer uniform to wear to her competitions, always driving her to them so he can hype her up in the car on the way. Calling “You’re a god, you can crush ‘em with your thighs!” as they split up so she can go to the dressing rooms backstage.

Steve leaping to his feet in the audience to clap the second she’s finished, whether it’s a team dance or a solo, or a duo-She’s the only one worth watching- whistling and cheering for her so loud, it would be a phenomenon if she didn’t hear him.

idk

just let Steve have another bisexual jock bestie who won’t make fun of his interests. Who knows how much he wants this, who knows how hard it is.

idk.

#can you tell i’m sick of steve getting bullied #like oh my god leave him alone #let him watch the game of fetch for gods sakes it’s the least you can do #reblog with your own headcanons please i want to see what i missed #steve harrington #steve harrington headcanon #eddie munson #steddie #steve x eddie #stranger things #robin buckley #chrissy cunningham #chrissy deserved better #buckingham #robin x chrissy #platonic stobin #platonic hellcheer #platonic harringham

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nourishr · 4 years ago

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staying fruitarian outside.

as with any lifestyle change it’s easiest to stay on track at home!

the challenges start when one friend invites you to the steak house and the other wants to run into a coffee shop for a quick snack. the buttery croissant looks so appetizing… then your stomach is hurting 20 minutes later and you wake up with pimples•.•

this doesn’t have to be you♡

mindset and prep

before heading out make sure you’ve had a satisfying fruit meal (at least 400 calories) so your body doesn’t crave overstimulating, processed junk.

bring bottle full of green smoothie and or chopped fruit whenever you go out.

take pride in leading an alternative lifestyle of health and abundance. if you were to eat like the majority, you’d get their illnesses too. you’ve chosen differently!

look up the menu if you’re going to lunch and skim for all salads, vegan/vegetarian dishes, fruits, vegetables, nuts, and seeds on the menu so people aren’t waiting on you to order

think of finding places to eat raw vegan like a game, a treasure hunt!

choosing where to eat

look for:

juice, smoothie, salad bars

healthy/clean restaurants

japanese and vietnamese restaurants

crêpe and dessert restaurants. you can order big bowls of fruit there•.•

grocery stores. pre chopped fruit, dates, bananas, and kombucha require no washing

health food stores (though the packaged snacks may be higher in fat so exercise caution)

raw vegan restaurants!!

at restaurants you didn’t choose

you have 2 options:

you can make a custom dish out of select menu ingredients.

example: on the menu you see steak listed with a side of kale and potatoes, a keto-friendly dish with avocado, and a dessert topped with bananas and berries. order a bowl of berries and banana + a salad of kale, 1/2 avocado and lemon juice. order another round if you’re still hungry (but you probably won’t if you ate before).

or you can modify a menu item.

example: I ordered a “make it yourself” salad which requires you to choose a grain. I requested no grains to be added and they brought this decadent raw bowl of shredded carrot, kimchi, green peas, avocado, marinated tomato, baby kale, baby spinach, red onion, corn, coconut flakes , and lemon juice.

the smoothie was beets, banana, pineapple, ginger, lemon, and flax♡ my friend is not raw hence the pie and croissant

fast food and cafes (canadian)

skim for fruits and vegetables

there may be smoothies you can order without dairy or a healthy kids menu

herbal teas

starbucks

martin’s dehydrated apple chips

herbal tea

mcdonald’s

apple chunks

baby carrots

strawberry banana smoothie no yogurt

blueberry pomegranate smoothie no yogurt

mango pineapple smoothie no yogurt

coconut pineapple smoothie no yogurt

herbal tea

wendy’s

garden side salad. add strawberries, apple chunks, and extra tomatoes on top, with avocado on the side. hold the cheese, dressing and croutons.

enjoy exploring your world as a raw vegan🤍

reblog and follow for more clean eating and lifestyle posts x

#raw vegan #raw till 4 #vegan #cleaneating #clean eating #healthspo #self healing #self care #healthy eating #fitness #fit #fitspo #fitness journey #wellness #recipe #aesthetic food #food #frugivore

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koreaguides · 3 years ago

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Is Food In Korea Expensive

In Korea, taxes are already included in the price of everything you purchase. There are no tips or delivery fees, regardless of where and how you acquire your meal. From street food vendors to major restaurants, the price of food in Korea is exactly what it says on the bill. If the price for your food id 10,000 won, a 10,000 won bill exactly will cover the whole cost.

1. Street Food

Some of the best and unique foods you’ll stumble across in Korea are from street vendors and they’re often sold at very reasonable prices. Look out for tteokbokki as it’s a common snack in Korea and can often be bought by the cup or 2-3,000 won. Egg bread and hotteok are also common finds ranging from 1,000 won. Fried fish cake, french fries encrusted corn dogs and even whole, fried squid often priced starting from 5-8,00 won.

2. Restaurants

Food at local restaurants usually range from 500-10,000 won. With that you can get your favorite Koreans dishes from kimchi stew or tonkatsu. Side dishes are usually given for free, sometimes rice too if you ask for extra. As for fast food restaurants, places like Lotteria and McDonalds are priced starting from an average of 4,000 won for set meal and it can go up to 7,000 won.

3. Cafes

Cafes in Korea have a variety of delicacies to choose from. There’s coffee, tea, and desserts. Cafes in Korea do serve meals, mostly western food like pizza and pasta, but the people usually go there for desserts. Cakes are around 4,000-5,000 won per slice while drinks range from 3,000-6,000 won.

4. Luxury Range

Luxury, Michelin star restaurants in Korea range from Korean cuisine to various other cuisines like fusion dishes, western cuisine, and even Mediterranean. The starting price can range from 56,000 won up to 170,000 won.

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alsjeblieft-zeg · 2 years ago

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015 of 2023

Your protein: pork steak lamb chops hamburgers vegan burgers chicken nuggets chicken fingers tuna shrimp salmon oyster crab lasagne ravioli chicken soup

beef jerky slim jims bacon spam buffalo wings sausage ham turkey meat balls

Your dairy: milk soy milk skim milk raw egg boiled egg sunny-side eggs scrambled eggs cottage cheese cheddar cheese mozzarella cheese swiss cheese blue cheese cream cheese plain yogurt

Your vegetables and fruits: mushrooms tomatoes pickles olives carrots raw onion broccoli cauliflower green beans string beans peas black beans celery leek artichoke lima beans bell pepper asparagus spinach seaweed avocado eggplant zucchini corn cucumber squash/pumpkin/yam garlic ginger peanuts almonds sunflower seeds raisins bananas apples pears grapes oranges tangerines peach blueberries raspberries blackberries strawberries lemons pineapples coconuts apricot cherries plums cranberry kiwi watermelon melon pomegranate grapefruit lime guava mango papaya

Your starch: French fries baked potato scalop potato mashed potato fried rice white rice bagel white bread whole grain bread French bread corn bread sourdough pancakes spaghetti macaroni & cheese oatmeal

Condiments: wasabi soy sauce cranberry sauce marmalade grape jam strawberry jam ketchup mustard relish mayonnaise whipped cream honey mustard sauce Tabasco salt ranch gravy caramel peanut butter salsa pepper honey maple syrup hummus butterscotch marshmallows icing

Junk food: cheetos sour cream and onion chips barbeque chips vinegar chips wheat thins graham crackers saltine crackers cheez-its ritz tortilla chips Lunchables Milano cookies Twinkies popcorn fruit roll ups donuts ice cream sandwiches Poptarts pretzels Girl Scout cookies Oreos Nutter Butter Fig Newtons Jell-O rice crispy treats

Cereals: Cocoa Puffs Cocoa Pebbles Fruit Loops Cinnamon Toast Crunch Frosted Flakes Raisin Bran Apple Jacks Corn Flakes Cookie Crisp Cap’n Crunch Lucky Charms Cheerios

Dessert: brownies muffins cinnamon rolls cheesecake donuts chocolate fondue pudding apple pie pumpkin bread pumpkin pie chocolate chip cookies sugar cookies gingerbread cookies biscotti fortune cookies shortbread cookies oatmeal cookies Angel food cake carrot cake cupcakes fruit cake cream puffs flan custard Meringue sorbet s’mores

Asian: ramen cup noodle sushi miso soup kimchi teriyaki eggrolls orange chicken

Fast food and restaurants: McDonald’s Carl’s Jr Taco Bell Panda Express Jack-in-the-box In-n-out Chick-Fil-A La Salsa Dairy Queen Baskin Robbin’s Pizza Hut Papa John’s Roundtable Domino’s Johnny Rocket’s Cho-cho San’s Hot Dog On A Stick Coldstone California Pizza Kitchen Red Robin Ruby Tuesdays Chili’s Wendy’s Burger King Kentucky Fried Chicken Subway Tommy’s The Cheesecake Factory Arby’s Quiznos El Pollo Loco TGIF Applebee’s Wienerschnitzel IHOP Islands White Castle Togo’s Sonic Popeyes Orange Julius Jamba Juice Coffee Bean Starbucks Del Taco Chuck E. Cheese Baja Fresh Macaroni Grill

Candy: Red Vines M&M’s Snickers Hershey’s kisses Kissables Kit-Kat Nerds Junior Mints Twizzlers Tootsie Rolls Jelly beans Swedish Fish Skittles Starburst 100 grand 3 Musketeers Airheads Almond Joy Baby Bottle Pops Baby Ruth bottle caps Butterfinger Reese’s Cup Fast Break Twix cotton candy chocolate coins Dots Hot Tamales jaw breakers Jolly Ranchers Laffy Taffy Lemonheads lifesavers Mike & Ike Milkduds Milky way Mr. Goodbar Nestle’s crunch Payday pixie sticks pop rocks Push Up pops Runts Smarties Snow Caps Sugardaddy Sweet Tarts Tic-Tacs York Peppermint Patties Warheads

Non-alcoholic drinks: Rootbeer Lemonade Orange juice Grape juice Capri Sun Coke Diet Coke Diet Pepsi Pepsi 7up Sprite Mountain Dew Hawaiian Punch Dr. Pepper Apple juice hot cocoa Kool-Aid cappuccinos frappuccinos lattes espresso energy drinks Vanilla Coke Cherry Coke Fanta Arizona Green Tea Squirt Gatorade Iced tea Green tea Chamomile tea White tea Oolong tea Jasmine tea Chai tea Snapple apple cider

Alcoholic drinks: Wine Sake Shochu Vodka Bourbon whisky Irish whisky Canadian whisky Bloody Mary Rum Absolut Brandy Scotch Cognac Tequila Gin Wine cooler Smirnoff Marc Sidecar Tonic Pina Colada Martini Alabama Slammer Daiquiri Margarita Cape Cod Flying Horse Kamikaze Screwdriver Rusty Nail Cajun Strawberry Soda Mimosa Champagne Cascade Fosters Sam Adams Budweiser Coors Harpoon Milwaukee’s Bes

#survey #bolding survey #themed survey #categorised survey

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muichiroslover · 4 years ago

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Pairings: Osamu x fem! reader x Kyoutani

Warnings: Angst

Angst with happy ending <3

_______________________________________________

The knocking on the door alerted me from the movie I was currently watching that there was someone at the door

I pause my movie, shamelessly being Tinker bell and the never beast and got up putting my bowl of pop corn down and dusting my hands off

I walk to the door and unlock it and open it without looking or asking who it was, I could fight off an intruder if it was one, the rain was pouring hard outside and it caught me off guard to see Osamu standing soaked on my door step

He looked up at me with a sad expression “she broke up with me” he says and I sigh as I open the door as inviting him in

I tell him to stay at the front and id get towels, while going up stairs to the bathroom that had extra towels i bite my lip, in honesty I liked Osamu for a while but when hearing he had gotten into a relationship with r/n I had to leave those feeling buried

And now here he is on my door step after their break up, honestly this whole movie night was to get my mind off it and not cry about it, but things never seem to go according to plan

Shaking my head to clear my thoughts and not act out I grab the towels quickly and head downstairs, after all i don’t want him to catch a cold

I get downstairs and see him still at the entrance looking down, I put a towel on his head and over his shoulders as I lead him into the house using one to wipe the floor after him

I put a towel down on the couch for him to sit and sigh as I sit next to him

“Do you perhaps want to take a shower?” I ask and he stays quiet as I sigh “you take a shower I’ll bring you clothes that belong to my brother, I’ll put them right outside the door” I say standing up and he does as well and heads to the bathroom since he’s been here before

Grabbing a simple t shirt and sweatpants I fold them nicely in front of the bathroom door and sit on the couch twisting my fingers as I wait for him to get out

I need to prepare myself emotionally, POV, your crush you’ve liked since years has just broken up with the girl he loved which was not you and is gonna go on about how much he loves her and wish he still had her and..

You put you hand up to your cheek in surprise as a tear and two slip out

Wiping them away quickly I lean back on my couch, my hair draping over it as I bring my hand up to my neck and rub it, it’s something I absentmindedly did when I was stressed out

Groaning and sitting up I finally hear the shower stop and I grab my phone to pretend I was on it the whole time, a few minutes later Osamu walks out and wow just wow, he even mad a simple casual outfit look so good

He sat down next to me on the couch and it was silent “talk to me Samu, you know I’m here to listen” I say sighing and soon theres sniffling then soft crying

“I love her so much Y/n..” he says, I was expecting that so why..why did it hurt so bad, I grab the back of his head and pull him into a hug as he sobs

“It’s okay Osamu, I understand what it feels like to love someone but not be able to have them anymore..” I say and he sobs as I bite my lip to keep in my own sorrowful weeps

As I hug him his phone goes off on the table near us, he lets go of me quickly and I wince because he pulled on my arm that I had sprain the other day during my last basketball tournament, a game he missed to hang out with r/n

He grabbed his phone and looked at it quickly, his eyes scanning while I curiously watched him, he jumped off the couch which startled me and now I wanted to know the news he had gotten so excited over

“Y/n! She texted me! She wants me back!! She-she wants me back she said she-“ he says smiling exasperated and looking at me

I look at him and tilt my head as I smile at him fakely “go get her tiger” I say and he smiles at me as he rushes to grab his stuff “it’s raining” I say to him from the couch and he chuckles “I would gladly run through rain for her over and over again”

And that was the last thing he said before leaving my house, I sat in silence as I slowly brought my knees up the couch, I sobbed, sobbed until I couldn’t anymore

He’s right, it isn’t fair

I lift my head up as the tears flow down my face, why did I have to fall in love with someone who clearly didn’t love me

Why did my heart do this me, why did it..hurt so bad

I clench my shirt as I let out strangled cries of emotional agony, while I’m crying the love of my life is running to his love

I laughed at the irony of it all and soon there was a knock once again at my door, has it come to bring me more pain?

I got up as I wiped my tears away in a rush, attempting to hide the evidence, but when I opened the door I was surprised

“Kyou..tani?” I say and he looks at me with his usual scowl, an umbrella over his head and 2 bags of McDonald’s

I step to the side and he comes in as he takes off his shoes and we walk to my living room, we sit down on the couch in silence

Soon a tear then two slip out and I start silently sobbing as Kyoutani sighs and opens his arms, I hug him as I sob into his shoulder

Since I cried so much not much was left to cry and when I did finish crying Kyoutani gave me a McFlurry, I smiled even though my eyes were red as I took it and took a spoon, the cold and sweetness putting me at an unusual ease

“Thanks Kyou..” I say and he hums as he eats a burger, after I finish my McFlurry I look at him and he looks at me then snorts

I scrunch up my nose “what?” I say and he sighs as he puts his drink down and leans towards me, my eyes widen as he used his thumb to wipe my mouth, then licks his finger

“You had ice cream on your mouth” he says casually sitting back down and I feel heat rush to my face

“O-oh thanks” I say and something pops up in my head that I was hesitant to ask

“Uh Kyou” I say and he hums in a way as saying, continue

“Would you...run through the rain for me?” I say not looking at him and I hear him make a sound of confusion

“No why would I do that” he says and my heart deflates

“Oh I-“

“When we could walk through the rain sharing an umbrella together” he finishes and I feel my face grow hot

“Oh..” I say subconsciously smiling a little bit and he smiled too, the girl he loved, blushing and smiling at his comments and actions, it was a good day for him

“Well let’s start this movie, the never beast again? Ugh your obsessed” he said and I laugh as I play it

And as me and Kyoutani laughed and talked about the movie I realized something

Maybe

Osamu and me weren’t meant to be for a reason...

I walked down the aisle as I looked up at my husband staring at me lovingly as I get passed to him and we stand hand in hand

Because

“Y/n do you take Kyoutani as your awfully wedded husband”

I was meant to be with someone else

“Yes, I do”

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amenomiko · 4 years ago

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Thank you for the request @crossmix ❤❤❤

As for this, I will choose fluff instead 🌸! Tho it's more to hilarious side. Hope you like it!

❤🌸❤🌸❤🌸❤🌸❤🌸❤🌸❤🌸❤

"(눈‸눈)..."

"(ㆁᴗㆁ✿)..."

"ಠ_ಠ..."

The three of them has been standing for almost half an hour in that battlefield. Kenshin on the right, with his alliance, ninja, and vassals behind him, Mitsunari on the left, with his vassals, fellow warlords and lord, a.k.a Nobunaga, fuming Hideyoshi, amused Mitsuhide and Masamune, as well as a bored Ieyasu who mumbles "Can I at least, the only ONE, to return now?" under his breath for a while now.

And there's MC, standing in between of both of the two men.

Kenshin turned to her, "Be mine." Now. That was quick.

"No, Princess. Please be with me." Mitsunari chimes in.

"Uhm.. Wah-" Her hands were clasped in his gentle ones, "I will.. I will try to be better, if you choose me."

"Hm."

"Eh--"

Kenshin pulled her by the waist. "Your place is with me. I will make sure you will be the happiest."

"W-wait- geh-"

Mitsunari pulled her to his side. "Princess, I have told that I brew tea clumsily..! I will train myself, under Mitsuhide-sama's class, so I can always give you the best tea in Azuchi..!"

"Oh my (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵)." - Mitsuhide

"SSSHHHH (☉д⊙)!" - Hideyoshi

"I- I'm sure making the best tea is not the issue here,, where actually- wargh!" MC were pulled towards Kenshin again. "Forget the tea. We have the best sake in Echigo. We even have a special sake that can help you to lose weight."

"Oh wow. That sounds nice--"

"Hmh."

"N-no :(´◦A◦｀):..! Princess..!"

"Wait- are you implying that I'M FAT??"

"What- no- what I mean is--"

"Phew (❁´◡`❁)🌸🌸🌸."

Meanwhile, Sasuke: Popcorns, popcorns, get your popcorns.

Yukimura: Sasuke what- pop- what?

Sasuke: It's a corn. That pops. So... It's... A popcorn (´・ｪ・｀).

Ieyasu: *Groans* Can I go now?

Sasuke: I have a flavor that you can sprinkle with wasabi powder, Ieyasu-sama.

Ieyasu: Good. Give it here.

Sasuke: *Low voice* While you are at it, could you give me an autograph on my glasses (´・ｪ・｀)✨✨✨?

-Back to the three of them-

"You are misunderstanding it, MC. I didn't mean to say that you are--"

"I what? I what?? Just admit that I'm not flawless and fat and-- *sniffs* there's no McDonald's here and yet this era's lord think that I'm faaaaattttt 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭!!!"

"Oh no, Princess..! There, there..! I don't know what 'mekdonalds' means, but you don't deserve such words..! You are perfect and beautiful the way you are (´・д・｀)!"

"Oh, Mitsunari..!" She kisses his cheek, "You are the sweetest angel ever..!"

"Hehehehe. Heh."

"...Was it me or our Mitsunari just smirk? Like an evil face. Like you?" - Masamune

"Yes, like me indeed. Hm ( ͡^ ͜ʖ ͡^)." - Mitsuhide

"Both of you be quiet (　☉д⊙)!" - Hideyoshi

Kenshin clicks his tongue to Mitsunari, hand shaking from gripping the hilt of his sword. "Now, now, Kenshin. It's not fair to use violence when you are fighting over a goddess- whoops- O3O!"

"Woah OAO-" Yukimura dodges the flying sword, as well as Shingen, and the soldiers behind him,

"EEEEEEKKKKK \(QAQ)/!! Kenshin-sama don't use us to throw your Himezuru just because you are angry!!"

It was MC's turn to click her tongue this time. "I don't know what's going on with both of you right now, but please stop with the hand and body pulling. I'm sure everyone is waiting to return home."

"Yes..!! You said it, Princess 😭😭😭😭😭!!!"

"No. You must choose first. It's with me, or with those lots."

"What do you mean, Kenshin-sama? I'm Azuchi castle's chatelaine!"

"Clearly. Now, Princess, let's go home. I will brew you a tea, that can help to make your skin flawless (✿❛◡❛)✨✨✨ (No bad intention whatsoever)."

"......Did you just say that my skin is rough?"

"Eh- n-no-"

"How. Dare. You. To betray me like that, Mitsunari (　☉д⊙)!"

"Eeehhh b-b-but Princess..! What I mean is QAQ--"

Kenshin: Hm. Hmhm. Hmhmhmhm 😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏😏.

-----

Sasuke: Goodness. Please don't laugh like that, Kenshin-sama, your bunnies is terrified until they hide behind me.

#ikemen sengoku masamune date #ikemen sengoku #ikemen sengoku imagines #ikemen sengoku hideyoshi #ikemen sengoku masamune #ikemen sengoku mitsuhide #ikemen sengoku kenshin #ikemen sengoku nobunaga #ikemen sengoku mitsunari #ikemen sengoku shingen #ikemen sengoku mc #ikemen sengoku ieyasu #ikemen sengoku yukimura #ikemen sengoku sasuke

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marwritesgood · 5 years ago

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Renewal | O. Diaz

Pairing: Oscar x Martinez!Reader

Timeframe: Chapter 17 (Altered)

Summary: In which the Reader has her baby shower.

masterlist // part one

A/N: Consider this a part two to ‘Collateral’.

After my wound healed, and I was able to pick up a laundry basket without wincing in pain, I decided to stay living at home with my family. I was eventually going to move back to my apartment, and share it with Spooky, where we would raise our baby, but for the time being I chose to stay at home.

On the plus side, this meant having my mother and grandmother taking care of me, no matter how much I insisted of cooking my own dinner. On the other hand, this meant I had my siblings around to annoy the living crap out of me 24/7.

“Y/n, come here!”

“Ugh, what is it Mario?” I groaned from having to get out of my bed and head to the kitchen, where Mario was sorting through out ancient box of party decorations.

“Ma asked me to hang up the decorations,” he explained, as he rummaged through the box, pulling out all of the decorations that were still in good shape. “But I have no idea how she wants it done, and I know you do, so can you help me?”

“You want me to setup my own baby shower?” I retorted. It was disappointing, yet unsurprising that he needed my help doing the one task our mother gave him.

“I thought you didn’t want to call it a baby shower?”

“That’s because the only reason I agreed to do this was for the gifts.”

My mother and Ruby were the ones who forced the idea on me. I personally found the whole idea of it tacky, and unnecessary, but when Ruby told me each guest would have to come bearing a gift, I reluctantly gave in.

“Look, are you gonna help me or not?”

“Fine,” I sighed, before joining him in rummaging through the box.

After we pulled out the streamers, as well as a banner my mother especially bought for the event, Mario went to look for tacks, or anything we could use to hang everything up. I decided to take that as an opportunity to take a seat on the couch and rest my feet.

The moment quickly ended when Ruby and Jamal arrived home.

“You’re being paranoid.”

“I am being perfectly reasonable,” Jamal fired back at Ruby, who head straight to the kitchen for a drink, before slowly walking back to the living room area. “Think about it. Every since we found the money, bad stuff keeps happening.”

“Guys,” I groaned, sitting up and putting my feet back on the ground. “I have a small, yet very aggressive, human inside of me right now. Can you please be a little quieter?”

“Sorry, Y/n,” they replied in unison. As I leaned back and rested my head on the sofa, Ruby noticed the decorations were out and did not wait a moment before giving his opinion. “I cannot believe mom’s using the same decorations... And they misspelled ‘shower’ on the banner!”

“Hey, if you wanna takeover and be event planner, go right ahead,” I muttered, with my eyes still closed. “Ma is having Mario put the decorations up, and he didn’t even know what a streamer was until I showed him... At least with you I know I won’t have to do anything.”

The boy was practically jumping.

“It would be my honour,” Ruby stated dramatically. I could always count on him to escalate small things to another level. “Consider it me fulfilling my first of many duties as an uncle... as the tío she can always count on.”

“Whatever you want,” I droned.

“Jamal?” Ruby looked over to his friend, who was helping himself to a bowl of corn chips. “Call the squad over here. We have a baby shower to plan.”

“Oh god,” I groaned, realising what I had just signed myself up for.

*****

After I assigned Ruby as event planner, he and his friends managed to find an entire new set of decorations using a small amount of the cleaned Rollerworld money. I was surprised, considering how difficult of a time they were having cleaning the money, and how obsessed they were with getting their fair share, but the decision was apparently unanimous. Then, before I knew it, it was the night before the baby shower and Ruby had gone full blown crazy.

“Monse, you call that folding? I’ve seen prettier napkins at McDonald’s.”

Against their better judgements Monse, Jamal and Jasmine agreed to staying the night at my place to help set everything up for the baby shower. According to Ruby, my only job was to sit and relax. Everyone else, on the other hand, had a long list of tasks and a rigid schedule Ruby was expecting them to abide to. One of Jasmine’s tasks was to figure out what I planned on wearing, and convince me to go with the colour scheme Ruby had envisioned.

“I was planning on wearing this,” I stated, before placing my mustard-yellow maternity-friendly sundress on the coffee table for Jasmine to see.

“Right, okay, I see what you’re trying to do,” she said positively. “But, you see, Ruby suggested that maybe you wear your red dress instead. Think about it, it’ll go with the whole theme we got going on, compliment your complexion. Yeah?”

“Alright,” I sighed, knowing that even if I tried to argue with Ruby on this, he would somehow find a way to convince me to go with the red dress. After putting my yellow dress I away, I went back to the living room area to see how the setting up was coming along. “How’s the setting up coming along?”

“I love you, Y/n,” Monse began, looking up from her napkin-folding station at the dining table. “And I love your baby. But I swear to God, if Ruby criticises my folding technique one more time-”

“Monse, this napkin is wrinkly!”

After Ruby did exactly what I feared he would, I watched Monse close her eyes briefly, and take a deep breath in. After slowly exhaling, she abruptly tried to run out from her seat at the table, and strangle Ruby, but I quickly held my hands out and stopped her.

“Woah, okay,” I muttered, quickly realising how tense everyone was, Ruby and Monse in particular. “Maybe a little break will do you guys some good... Okay, everyone stop what you’re doing, have a seat on the couch and relax. I’ll order some pizza for us, okay? My shout.”

Everyone, even Ruby, did as I said, and seemed to be relieved because of it. I slipped into the kitchen and ordered pizza from my phone, before pouring myself a glass of lemonade. As I took a sip from my cup, Cesar came in.

After New Years, I convinced my mum to let Cesar stay with us while Monse’s dad moved in and out of town. Despite her resentment towards him, it only took reminding her that Cesar was family to Ruby and I for her to agree to let him crash on our couch until Mario goes back at the stat of his semester.

“Cesar? You okay?”

“Are you sure you want me there tomorrow, Y/n?” He asked nervously, after a moment of prolonged silence. As he scratched the back of his head, I put my glass of lemonade down and looked him directly in the eye.

“Are you kidding me?” I said softly. “Of course I want you at my baby shower, Cesar. It wouldn’t be complete without all of my baby’s tío under one roof. I even promised Jamal he’d be a tío.”

“And I’m gonna hold you against that promise,” Jamal shouted from the living room. I could have sworn he had super-hearing abilities.

“It’s just... I know you told my brother not to come, because you wanted me there.”

“Ruby told you?” He nodded, and I made a mental note to confront my brother about that. “Look, okay... Yes, that is why I told Spooky not to come, but I told him it’s not a big thing, and he was totally cool with sitting this one out. Plus, it’s my baby shower, so it’s my call... And I want you there tomorrow, okay?”

“Okay,” he smiled. “I’ll be there.”

“Plus, my cousin sent me a crib I need to set up, and Mario and Ruby are horrible with using tools and following instructions.”

*****

My baby shower had gone by fast. By the end of it, Ruby and his friends stayed back to clean everything up, which my mother really appreciated, as it meant she could take her time catching up with her cousins. Mario was putting the twins to bed, and Cesar was helping me go through all the gifts people brought.

“I can’t believe my cousin bought my daughter this onesie.”

“She’ll look so cute in it,” Cesar commented, smiling as I held it up for him to see. “I wish I could see how she’d look in it.”

“Well, my due date is in a few months now,” I began, chuckling as I folded the onesie and placed it with the rest of the clothes my relative bought for my daughter. “So soon enough you’ll have a little girl calling you tio.”

“Yeah...” Cesar seemed to be distant. Ever since he came back from his shift at Jamal’s dad’s restaurant, he seemed a lot more gloomy than ever.

“Cesar? Is everything okay?”

In true Diaz fashion, he tried to remain stoic; tried to continue doing what he was doing as if my question didn’t affect him, but I knew better. I knew there was something serious he was hiding.

“You know you can tell me anything, right?” I placed my hand on his shoulder and shifted closer to him, lowering my voice so he knew whatever he would say I would keep confidential. “I mean it, Cesar. Tell me what’s going on... please.”

There is an air of silence for a prolonged moment. Cesar inhales sharply, before breaking his stoicism and crinkling his brows together, with tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

“Their gonna kill me Y/n,” he whispered, voice cracking as he said my name.

After Ruby’s drunken outburst that led to a group of Santos breaking the truce, we knew it was only a matter of time before Latrelle would come back to finish what he tried to do at Olivia’s quinceanera. I just didn’t think it would happen so soon.

Before I can even begin to think of something to say, there is a loud knock on my door. I glance at Cesar for just a moment, before standing up to answer the door. However, when I open it, there is no one to be found. All there is left is a painfully familiar item on my mother’s welcome mat.

A bullet. The same kind I had to get surgically removed from my shoulder.

“Y/n?” Cesar whispered in concern, from where he had been sitting. I turn around, so he can see the bullet in between my index finger and thumb, alongside the look of horror on my face.

“We need to go,” I said sharply, giving Cesar all but five second to get up and follow me. I didn’t care that the person who delivered that bullet would have only been a few blocks away. I needed to get this sorted now. Because two people I care deeply about were being threatened- my unborn child, and my pseudo-baby brother.

Therefore, now it was personal.

*****

Despite the fact that my feet had been consistently sore ever since I entered my second trimester, Cesar and I walked all the way to Oscar’s place, and for the first time the pain in my feet was easy to ignore. Once we were two houses away from the Santos crib, I told Cesar to lay low while I talked to his brother.

“Spooky,” I called out, as I walked towards their front porch. I only had to wait a second or two before he came out and greeted me with a smile and a kiss on my temple. It was no wonder why the other guys kept making jokes about him being whipped.

“What’s wrong baby?”

“It’s a long story... but just promise me you won’t be mad.”

“Y/n...” his smile faded so quickly, turning into an almost-glare.

“Please,” I said softly, placing my hands on the sides of his arms, partly to butter him up but mostly to keep him restrained.

“Okay,” he replied, tone still harsh, but you take what you can get with Spooky. “I won’t be mad... now tell me what you did.”

I look down for a moment and try to find a way to articulate the situation in the best way. In a way that would keep Oscar from wanting to knock Cesar out and reprimand me for keeping secrets from him. However, I couldn’t come up with a way to verbally explain, so I opted for a more visual method.

“You can come out now,” I shouted.

As Cesar slowly appeared, stopping at the Santos front lawn, there was a short moment where Oscar remained completely frozen. This moment, however, was very short-lived, because after rubbing his facial hair, he quickly turned back to Cesar and tried to run at him, only for me to block his way.

“What the hell is this?!”

“You said you wouldn’t be mad,” I retorted, trying to reason with him, but it wasn’t working.

“So what we hide shit from each other now? Is that what this is, Y/n?”

“He needed a place to crash, and I knew you’d be like this if I told you.”

“You know fucking well why,” he shouted, making me take a step back. Oscar never scared me, but this was truly uncharted territory perhaps for the both of us. “She show you the scar on her shoulder, Cesar? She ever tell you about nightmares she gets from that night? You ever thought about the people you’ve hurt, or are you just happy to freeload off someone again-”

“-Hey, stop it!” I yelled, pushing Spooky away from Cesar, who he was mere inches away from shoving at this point. Spooky breath heavily, as he catches his breath from yelling so profusely at this brother. All the while, Cesar stood still, ready to take whatever beating Oscar was about to give him.

“I told you this was a bad idea.”

“Yeah, no shit,” Spooky shouted, before spitting in Cesar’s direction.

“Spooky, can you just listen?... Please?” He doesn’t look me in the eye, but he does remain silent, which was enough cue for me to continue explaining myself. “I wouldn’t have come here now if it wasn’t urgent... They’re tryna finish the job... They wanna kill him.”

For a moment it seemed like Oscar was about to give in. It was his natural instinct to protect his brother, so I knew telling him of the danger Cesar was in would make him ease up, but he still wasn’t gonna help him.

“He made this mess, it’s time he takes responsibility for what he’s done... you can’t protect him.”

“No... but you can,” I replied, looking at the father of my child pleadingly. Oscar scoffs and pulls away from my grasp, before turning to the house and making his way back inside. “No- Oscar, baby please...”

Right before he reaches their porch, I pull the bullet from my back pocket and make one last attempt at talking sense into him.

“They came to my house tonight.”

He stopped immediately, before turning back around and walking towards me. This time his expression had washed over with concern, a look I had become incredibly familiar with since becoming his girlfriend, and even more so after becoming his babymama.

I held out the bullet, so Oscar could see it, and as he examined it his eyes only darkened. With a clenched fist and flared nostrils, he shifted his eyes between Cesar and I several times, before patting the pocket of his pants. He always kept his gun on one side and his car keys on the other.

“Both of you. Get in the car.”

Cesar and I did so quickly, understanding the magnitude of the situation. I knew that in due time Oscar would have come around to helping Cesar. However, we didn’t have that kind of time, so I also knew I had to do what I needed to make sure he was on board now.

“Where are we going?”

“I’m taking you home,” he replied shortly, and I knew then that whatever he was about to do was something he wouldn’t tell me until it was done. That’s how it worked when it came to stuff involving Santos. And, despite what he told Cesar in December, he was still very much a Santos. “I’ll call the guys. Make sure at least a few of them are on lookout out here. You ever wanna leave to go anywhere, you call me, okay? I’ll get someone to follow you, make sure you got protection.”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’ll handle it, baby,” he answered, before I could even ask my question. Even when recovering from a fight, he was always on my wavelength. “I promise... They won’t get away with this shit... Imma make sure of it.”

He stops in front of my house, and lifts my hand up, pressing a soft kiss on the back of it before caressing the side of my face. I always hated moments like these. Saying goodbye right before shit goes down. Last time a moment like this occurred, Oscar ended up being locked up for over two years.

Before opening my door, I glanced back at Cesar and then at Spooky. My Spooky.

“You text me the second it’s done, okay?” I whispered, trying not to tear up. Pregnancy hormones and gang violence was not a good combination. “And I swear to God, if anything happens to either of you, I will-”

“Hey,” Spooky whispered, gently rubbing his thumb against the apple of my cheek. “You think I’m gonna let anything keep me from coming home to you?”

“I love you,” I said, nodding as I began to process Oscar’s confidence. I look back at Cesar and gently squeeze his hand. “Both of you.”

And as I walked back into my house, and heard the sound of Spooky’s engine fade as they drove off, I promised I would tell this story to my daughter once she was of an appropriate age. People can say all they want about me, about Spooky and Cesar, and about the Santos in Freeridge.

But, when push comes to shove, these men will move heaven and earth to protect their people and their community.

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victoriareyloficlists · 4 years ago

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15 March 2021 Additions to Reylo Fluff

These fics have been added to the Fluff lists located in the following lists:

Fluff Part 1 Titles A-G

Fluff Part 2 Titles H-M

Fluff Part 3 Titles N-S

Fluff Part 4 Titlez T-Z

My Heart Like a Kick Drum by Zoa (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: In need of a date to his parents destination vow renewal but not interested in a real relationship, Ben Solo turns to an acting service specializing in fake relationships for a temporary girlfriend. But as he gets to know Rey Niima over the course of the vacation, Ben finds himself reconsidering his outlook on love...) More Than a One-Night Stand by Eskayrobot, Poaxath (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 2 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's having a pretty shitty night, to be honest. From the creep at the bar to the...oh, this rescuer of hers is pretty nice. And very attractive. And maybe he smelled really good, too.) lay all your love on me by akosmia (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben doesn't really think much of himself, and Rey is determined to change his mind.) Got a Feeling we Should Just Go Home by slugmutt (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, 13 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Spending the week before Christmas with sullen deputy-CEO Kylo Ren is the last thing on earth Rey wants to do. Going back to his hometown with Christmas-loving Rey in tow is the last thing Kylo wants to do. But with a little help from family, some holiday magic, and a stray blizzard or two, they might start seeing things differently.) Lightning Glass by Weddersins (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: Force-users don't like to consume alcohol because it lowers mental shielding. Too bad the Resistance's entire supply of juice fermented. Better not let it go to waste. Meanwhile, Kylo Ren wakes up with Rey booping his nose and giggling. He is Very Confused.) New Beginnings by reylocalligraphy (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Ben comes home for the first time in five years, it happens to be Thanksgiving dinner. He’s surprised to meet a girl who’s working for his father… an odd girl his parents seem strangely fond of.) The Unintended Consequences of Single-Seater Cockpit Designs by ItsALilah (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Canon CD, Quick Synopsis: After Crait, Rey vowed to never, ever stick her head out for Kylo Ren again. Unfortunately, she's got marching orders from Poe Dameron of all people to save the Resistance's newest ally, who just happens to be Kylo Ren, and of course, those rescue plans predictably go to Hell. Meaning Rey's not just stuck with Kylo Ren, but sharing an uncomfortably confined space with the newly deposed Supreme Leader. A space that was definitely not designed to fit more than one person.) In Full Bloom by deedreamer (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When high school teacher Rey Kanata gets flowers with a cryptic message, she freaks out, thinking she's being hit on by one of her students. On a mission to find out who sent the flowers, she meets Ben Solo -- single dad and owner of the little florist down on Main Street. When the flowers turn out to be a delivery error, Rey knows her job's no longer at risk. But what she doesn't know is that she's about to fall head over heels for the man who keeps sending her flowers day after day because he's a goner for her, too...) Degrees and Galaxies by Pawprinter (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben could think of numerous other things he would rather be doing than spending an afternoon working on a paper. That all changes when he bumps into Rey. Maybe spending the day at the coffee shop isn't the worst way to spend his time.) A Reylo Christmas Carol by Crackedkybercrystal (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: "Before the dawn," Hux intoned, "you will be visited by three spirits. Heed their message Kylo Ren, least you end your days like me." It was only now that Kylo perceived his old partner to be bound with a great chain around his waist, weighed down by heavy blocks.) Of Penmanship and Discourse by INTPSlytherin_reylove97 (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, 35 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: When Rey Kenobi's professor and advisor, Luke Skywalker, refuses to give constructive criticism or facilitate workshops for his students, she decides to seek help else where. Ben Solo (or if you read his published work, Kylo Ren) is on the brink of insanity. The literary magazine he is editor for is racing off in a new direction-- and is leaving him questioning both its morals and his love for writing. To find his intellectual and creative needs met, he decides to turn to the internet. A PenPals AU no one asked for.) The Set-up by CajunSpice714 (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo has aways been socially awkward, but when he sets his sights on his brother Poe's fiance Finn's bestfriend Rey during an engagment party Poe decided that he and Finn need to divise a plan to set the two of them up if not for the sake of his and Finn's future wedding then for the sake of their own sanity.) From R to Kylo by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben and Rey are archaeologists who absolutely cannot stand each other. They also happen to be pen pals, but they don't know who the other is, until one night they get trapped together at a creepy excavation site, and suddenly their hatred begins to unravel.) How You Turn My World, You Precious Thing by BensLostTookaCat (VillainTheBlank) (AO3 2018 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: He's the hotshot asshole who leads The First Order, the legal arm of The Resistance. She's the new company liaison who has been assigned to The First Order to keep them accountable.The annual Resistance Masquerade Ball is about to turn Kylo and Rey's worlds upside down.) If You Change Your Mind (I'm the First in Line) by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben hates watching his best friend/roommate Rey be unlucky in love. Finally, he decides to do something about it.) Take a Chance on Me by castles_and_crowns (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, 6 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey hates watching her best friend/roommate Ben go on date after date with no success. Eventually, she decides to do something about it. Or, 5 bad dates + 1 good one.) Haunted Corn Maze by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey bonds with her work buddy, Ben.) Zombie Run by OptimisticBeth (AO3 2018 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: During a charity run, Rey is relentlessly pursued by a zombie.) Eating for Two by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is pregnant and smells her neighbour Ben's cooking. She goes round to ask if he would be willing to share. But maybe Ben would like to share more than his cooking with Rey.) Go And Catch A Falling Star Chapter 56 by Ayearandaday (AO3 2021 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Hungry overworked Ben accidentally ends up in McDonalds. Guess what happens next?) weddings and wingwomen by bigfootsflannel (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: After hiring Ben Solo as her wedding photographer, Rose discovers her true calling as part-time matchmaker.) when the stars collide by roguewn (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rose and Rey are debating the latest Space Skirmish movie. Rose insists a kiss was romantic and Rey jokes that it was a thank-you-for-saving-me kiss. Rose dares her to kiss the next guy who holds the door open for her.) Fall Into the Dark Side by CaliforniaQueen (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is a lonely comic shop owner. Ben is the equally lonely comic book writer Rey has been crushing on for years.) Something About November Chapter 11 by SpaceWaffleHouseTM (AO3 2019 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey is leaving First Order Enterprises for her dream job at Resistance Inc. On her last day, she gets a cake and a card with farewell messages from her department-there's an anonymous message among them, confessing to a secret crush.) Something Missing by Hellyjellybean (AO3 2020 Rated M Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: An angst-free AU where Ben takes his kid to work and loses track of him only to find him eating contraband candy with Rey from IT.) A Doggy Intervention by corpse_wife (AO3 2020 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Interventions come in many different forms. Whether it's time, a place or occasionally, people, it's up to the universe to decide when two soulmates meet. In Ben Solo's case, the universe had a cruel sense of humor. For his intervention comes in the form of a German Shepard and his graceless brunette owner. Two things happened in the short span of a minute: 1.) Ben got tackled to the ground 2.) The dog had just swallowed his wedding rings) baby fever by cursebreakker (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, 3 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey’s boss kylo basically has a heart of stone, he literally has a reputation in the offices as 'Satan’s right hand'. That is until Rey’s two year old daughter toddles up to him outside of work one day and he just completely melts.) My Roommate's a Virgin Vampire by jeeno2 (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 8 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey Niima answers an online ad from someone looking for a new roommate. Turns out he's a very weird, incredibly hot vampire with extremely outdated views on sex.) Toy Story XXX: The Legend of the Fainting Goat by andabatae (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey has been thirsting after her next door neighbor, Ben Solo, for months. In a fit of sexual frustration, she purchases a sex toy with rave reviews—never expecting that when she uses it, Ben will mistake her screams of pleasure for cries of distress and break down her door to save her...) Wild Child by tmwillson3 (AO3 2020 Rated E Complete, 4 Chapters, Regency AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey spends her first Season in Bath with her best friend, Rose Tico. When Rose begins a hate-at-first-sight relationship with Sir Armitage Hux, Rey thinks that nothing more exciting could happen.That's when Sir Hux's friend, the Earl of Alderaan, and his dogs come crashing into Rey. Rey has never liked peers, but when she bonds with him on a rainy day, everything changes.) Dump Your Date for Prom by TypeSomeSenseToMe (AO3 2021 Rated T Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey asks Ben Solo to the Prom.) you're my boo by murakamism (AO3 2018 Rated M Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey's neighbor Ben Solo is the only one who ever shows Halloween spirit around here. When she discovers he's moving out, she's only hurt because that means she won't have anymore competition... right? So she sets out on a plan to make him stay.) permanent calligraphy (your name on me forever) by theresonatinglight (AO3 2021 Rated E Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: As they continue to work together, two things become clear. One: Ben Solo is an enigma. He’s preppy yet humble, privileged yet introspective. He’s the opposite of lazy; she kicks herself every day for assuming otherwise. And two: Ben Solo will never love her.) Bespoke by L_awlietxoxx (AO3 2018 Rated G Complete, One-Shot, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Ben Solo is miserable, stumbling through his life in London without seeing much of anything. Then Christmas sneaks up on him, as does a little shop and a woman who makes custom ornaments to meet the needs of any heart. Suddenly, Ben sees everything.) Game Night by Melusine11 (AO3 2019 Rated E Complete, 5 Chapters, Modern AU, Quick Synopsis: Rey goes to live with Finn to help her get on her own feet. She has an immediate connection with his roommate, Ben Solo. It all comes to a head during a rather intense game night.)

#reylo #reylo fanfic

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let-the-dream-begin · 5 years ago

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In My Daughter’s Eyes Chapter 10: If Only My Dreams

Chapter 9

Read on AO3

December 22

Claire, Gillian, and Faith were on their way to the stables. Gillian had insisted on coming, wanting to “see Faith in action,” as she put it. She’d been spending quite a lot of time with her over the past week. Mrs. Lickett would come in the morning to give Faith her lessons and educational playtime, but then she’d leave around noon, so crafts, movies, and the like were all up to Gillian. Claire had left Faith in Gillian’s care all the time back in England, so she was quite confident they’d be just fine, and things had been going swimmingly all week. Faith was quite enjoying her time with her Auntie, and Claire dreaded the day she had to leave, and the meltdown that would probably follow.

But that was a problem for another day.

When they arrived at the stable, Faith insisted on holding both of their hands in the parking lot, giving Gillian the honor of holding Horsie.

“Don’t you let that thing out of your sight,” Claire warned. “If anything happens to it there’ll be hell to pay. And I don’t mean from me.” She eyed Faith, and Gillian nodded in understanding.

“He’s been left before, has he?”

“Indeed. Never making that mistake again.”

They shared a laugh, which intensified as Faith gave a strong yank on both of their hands to make them get inside faster.

“Eager, isn’t she?” Gillian said, smirking.

“She loves it here, you have no idea,” Claire said, her chest warming. “Just wait until you see her with the horse. It’ll make you cry.”

When they got inside, Faith was bouncing as usual, humming loudly.

“Really, I dinna think I’ve ever seen her this excited fer anything that isna Disney,” Gillian said.

“That’s exactly what I said,” Claire laughed.

“Beauchamp gals!” Toni called as they approached the desk. “And who’s this?”

“This is Faith’s godmother, my best friend from back home. Gillian Edgars.”

“Hi, I’m Toni. It’s great to meet you.” She gave Gillian her hand, then a firm shake. She was wearing an obscenely ugly Christmas sweater and a Santa hat. Erica was donning a Santa hat as well, but if she was wearing a sweater, it wasn’t visible under her coat.

“This is Erica,” Claire said. “One of the volunteers that helps Jamie with Faith.”

“Jamie’s the — ”

“Her main therapist, yes,” Claire interjected before Gillian could say anything bawdy. “Shall we?”

Erica nodded and led them outside, Faith holding dutifully onto both hands again.

“That one likes the lasses,” Gillian whispered to Claire once they were outside.

Claire gave her a confused look. “Erica?” she stammered, in shock that Gillian was speculating about a fifteen year old girl.

“No, ye numpty! Toni!”

“How on Earth can you tell?” Claire said.

“I’ve always had an eye fer those things, ye ken.” She winked. “Does this place only employ hot people?”

“Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ…” Claire rolled her eyes and swatted her arm.

When they arrived at the stable, Faith’s excitement went through the roof, as always, and Gillian started laughing.

“She’s just the cutest damn thing I’ve ever seen,” she chuckled as Erica opened the doors.

Waiting inside with Pippi was the six foot Scot, wearing an equally ridiculous Christmas sweater as Toni’s, also donning a Santa hat.

“Ah, there she is! The wee princess!” Jamie exclaimed. Faith giggled at being addressed as such, and she tugged ever harder on their hands.

“And who’s this, then?” Jamie looked to Gillian.

“This is my best friend from across the Atlantic, Gillian Edgars.”

“A fellow Scot,” Gillian said, shaking his hand.

“Ah! That’s braw!” Jamie beamed, then turned to Claire. “This is the godmother then?”

“Yes, this is Auntie Gi.”

“It’s very fine to finally meet ye, lass. Jamie Fraser.” He finally released her hand. “Claire goes on and on about ye.”

“Didna realize ye talked so much,” Gillian said, throwing Claire side-eye. “About me,” she added quickly.

Had Jamie not been standing right there, Claire would have swatted at her arm again.

“Aye. Well, Faith, d’ye want to show yer Auntie yer horse?” He crouched down to her, and she nodded, letting go of their hands. Faith’s muscle memory took over, and she tended to the creature just the way she’d been taught. “This is Pippi,” Jamie said. “Princess Faith’s noble steed.”

“Princess Faith, he says,” Gillian whispered dreamily, and Claire inconspicuously pinched her thigh.

“Are ye excited to show Auntie Gi how ye ride, lass?” Jamie said, and Faith nodded enthusiastically. “Right then, off we go.”

Jamie hung back with Claire and Gillian while Erica led Faith and Pippi. He and Gillian conversed rapidly in Gaelic, leaving Claire feeling rather stupid as she looked in awe between the two of them.

When they arrived at the riding hall, Gillian and Claire leaned against the fence, Gillian amazed how Faith handled the helmet.

“Oh, that was quite a struggle,” Claire said. “Got bit for that one, remember?”

“Right, ye called me that day,” Gillian said, nodding. “She’s so gentle wi’ the horse. Back there in the stable, ye were right, I almost cried like a bairn.”

“Wait until she gets on,” Claire said warmly. “It’s just incredible.”

“And he…is so good wi’ her,” Gillian said in disbelief. “Could God have created a more perfect specimen?”

That earned her another swat on the arm.

“Hi, Claire,” Mrs. Beardsley’s voice had Claire turning around.

“Oh, hello,” Claire said. “Gi, this is Fanny Beardsley.”

They reached over Claire to shake hands.

“This is your wife?” Fanny said, smiling sweetly.

This immediately had them both sputtering, struggling to not disturb the therapy by howling with laughter.

“She wishes!” Gillian exclaimed, earning yet another swat.

“No, no,” Claire said, wiping tears of laughter away. “This is Faith’s godmother. She’s just visiting for Christmas. We’ve been best friends since college.”

“Oh, God, I’m so sorry.” Fanny’s face was bright red.

“No, it’s alright, really,” Claire said, though she was still wheezing.

“It actually happens a lot,” Gillian said. “Lots of rumors back in college. Sadly, this one is straight as a pin.” Gillian patted her shoulder, and Claire rolled her eyes.

They passed the rest of the time watching Faith, Gillian whispering in awe and squealing in delight, clapping along with Claire and Erica when Faith earned celebration.

“She’s braw, Claire,” Gillian said, teary-eyed as Faith dismounted. “I’m really proud of her.”

They embraced each other around the shoulders, Claire resting her head on Gillian.

“Watch this,” Claire whispered. “She doesn’t do high-fives like a lot of the other kids, so Jamie does this with her instead.”

They watched the weekly ritual of Jamie giving his enthusiastic thumbs-up, his lopsided grin warming the chill in the air. Faith returned the thumbs up, bouncing and grinning.

“That is the cutest feckin’ thing.” Gillian shook her head in awe, eyes watering again.

They returned to the welcome center, three of them hand in hand, and Jamie leading the way walking backwards. Toni was ready with three candy canes to hand them when they arrived.

“Merry Christmas Beauchamps, and Auntie Gi.” Toni winked.

“Ah, before ye go,” Jamie said, reaching around the counter and producing a little gift bag. “Merry Christmas, Sassenach.” He handed Claire the bag, his cheeks flushing red. “From the stables,” he added quickly.

Claire’s brow furrowed, but she couldn’t help the tiny smile that graced her face. “Thank you. Merry Christmas, Jamie.”

She peered up at him through her lashes, and her smile disappeared at the sight of the look he was giving her. It was that same look that she’d caught him sporting time and time again, yet she still hadn’t gotten used to it.

What is it?

And why does it take my breath away…?

“Ready to go?” Gillian snapped Claire out of her reverie.

“Yes, yes let’s go,” Claire stammered, smiling perhaps a bit too brightly. “Merry Christmas Toni, Erica.”

“Merry Christmas!” they called in unison.

“Say bye-bye, Faith! Say Merry Christmas!” Faith smiled and waved, then pulled on her hand.

“Onto McDonald’s,” Claire said to Gillian.

“Aye, another delicacy,” she teased.

As they sat in the drive-thru, Gillian’s phone went off, and a sly grin spread across her face.

“What?” Claire asked.

“She texted me already,” Gillian said.

“Who did?”

Gillian turned around the phone to show Claire the screen:

Hi there! It’s Toni!

Claire’s jaw dropped, scandalized. “When did you give her your number?”

“When ye were busy making heart eyes at the Scot,” Gillian smirked and then quickly composed a response.

“I was not making heart eyes,” Claire said vehemently, inching the car forward and rolling down the window.

“Keep telling yerself that.”

——

McDonald’s eaten and milkshakes empty, the three of them were sitting under a blanket again watching Lilo and Stitch. They all brushed their teeth together, and Faith insisted on being tucked in by Gillian. Once that was all settled, Claire and Gillian sat on the couch again together, knowing they could stay up a bit later since Claire didn’t work tomorrow.

“Well? Ye havena opened it yet.” Gillian nudged her head toward the coffee table, where the little bag that Jamie had given Claire was still sitting.

“Oh. I’d forgotten about it,” Claire said, which was a blatant lie. She hadn’t stopped thinking about it since the moment he held it out to her. Truth be told, she was scared to open it. She hesitantly took it in her hands and opened the bag, removing layers of tissue paper.

She couldn’t help the stupid grin that spread wide across her entire face as she pulled out the contents. A bag of Lindt truffles, and a large back of sour patch kids. There was a festive post-it-note stuck to the truffles that said:

To make up for the candy corn. Merry Christmas, Sassenach.

Claire felt her entire face flush red, and her pulse began to race.

“Candy corn? What does that mean?” Gillian prodded.

“He, uh…he made me try candy corn, Halloween week,” Claire stammered. “I hated it, and he asked what kind of candy I do like.”

“Oh my God.” Gillian shoved her shoulder roughly. “Oh my God, Claire! Holy shite!”

“What…? What? Stop it!” Claire shoved her back and put the candy on the coffee table. “It’s just a joke. Relax.”

Gillian gaped at her in disbelief, then shook her head. “I was joking — well, half-joking — when I texted ye back in October, but God!”

“What?”

“How’s the sex?”

Claire’s eyes widened, and she leaned back in shock. “What sex?”

“With Fraser!”

“Jesus bloody Christ! There is no sex!” Claire’s face was hot as hell again, her mouth dry. “There’s no anything! He’s Faith’s therapist!”

“He’s givin’ ye sweets and gifts and ye’re no’ even putting out?” Gillian leaned back into the couch, crossing her arms. “Christ, he must really like you.”

“For fuck’s sake…” Claire scoffed, rolling her eyes. “You’re mad.”

Claire threw the bag on the coffee table, but it landed a little faster than an empty bag should have.

“Is there something still in there?” Gillian said, snatching it at once and plunging her hand inside.

“Gi, stop, stop it! Let me have it!”

Gillian pulled out a hair bow, and her eyes narrowed. “What the Devil?”

“Let me see.” Claire took it from her, and her jaw went slack with realization.

“What?”

“It’s tartan,” Claire said. “The tartan from the clan in Brave.”

“What would ye want wi’ that?” Gillian scoffed.

“It’s not for me…” Claire said, her voice breathy. “It’s for Faith.”

Realization hit Gillian like a bolt of lightning. “Halloween. He wore tartan, and she dressed up from…”

“From Brave,” Claire finished with her.

“Bloody hell…” Gillian said. “He really, really likes ye.”

Claire swallowed thickly against the dryness in her throat, vainly attempting to wet her lips. Her head was spinning, and she could hardly breathe.

“Claire?”

“Well,” Claire said, her voice sounding more strained than she would have liked it to. “As much as I love the Disney movies, how about you and I watch a big-girl movie, hm?” Claire smiled, getting off the couch and retrieving a bottle of wine from the kitchen. “With some big-girl juice?”

Gillian giggled, apparently deciding to not push the subject any further. “Alright. But I’m picking the movie.”

——

Their first Christmas in their new home was nothing short of perfect. Claire had only requested two specific days off for the entire year: Christmas Day, and Faith’s birthday.

Gillian’s present to Claire had already been opened the night before, after Claire had showered from her long shift at the hospital. It was a matching set of Christmas pajamas, with a card that said:

Take this as a promise that we’ll always be together for the holiday.

They cried on each other for a few minutes before donning the pajamas, taking several pictures together in Claire’s full length mirror in her bedroom.

They slept in them and kept them on for presents, just as festive as Faith in her Disney Christmas nightgown. Claire’s present to Gillian was a Long Island t-shirt. Gillian had made a hobby of collecting stupid tourist t-shirts wherever she visited, and Claire had spent plenty of time finding the most touristy Long Island shirt she could.

Faith was beyond thrilled with every single Christmas present she received: her first dollhouse (from Santa), little sets of furniture and little dolls for the dollhouse (from Mummy), and a Merida Barbie doll from Auntie Gi. Claire also decided to give Faith the tartan bow on Christmas morning, handing it to her, saying:

“Look, lovie, another Merida present. This one is from Mister Jamie.”

Never one to be patient, Faith demanded that Claire put the bow in her hair at once, as Auntie Gi was struggling to free the dollhouse from its packaging.

Once Faith was satisfied that every present had been opened and arranged to her heart’s content, they moved into the kitchen to devour the edible arrangement of fruit that Gillian had insisted on getting for Christmas breakfast. Back in the day, Frank made festive pancakes for Christmas morning, and Gillian was determined to start traditions of their own.

Fruit eaten, it was time to start on the Christmas cookies. Claire had purchased several Christmas themed cookie-cutters a few weeks ago, so the three of them made a wide assortment of characters across a wide spectrum of colors. Claire had also bought food dye to use in vanilla icing, so Faith was free to let her creativity run wild, as if she were making edible crafts. All the while, Christmas music played from Claire’s phone, and Faith was humming along and bouncing all day.

Gillian was a slightly better cook than Claire was, so they tag teamed getting the small ham cooked all the way through, along with the green bean casserole (which Faith would not touch with a ten foot pole; she was fine with just ham and applesauce, thank you very much).

Mrs. Lickett had the rest of the holiday week off until the day after New Year’s, and Faith was more than happy to spend the extra time with Gillian. Mary Hawkins had sent Claire a Facebook invitation for a New Year’s party a few weeks ago, and she’d only recently responded that she’d be going. She was uncertain of taking Faith somewhere so crowded, but Mary made it very clear in the description of the event that it would be sensory-friendly. Joe had asked her one day at work if she had any plans for the New Year, surely meaning to invite her over if she didn’t, and Claire felt a strange sense of teenage-like pride in informing him that she did.

Claire’s shift ended at eight, which was exactly when Mary’s party started, so they were only about thirty minutes late. Mary was delighted to have Gillian as well. Despite Mary’s emphasis on a sensory-friendly party, Claire brought Faith’s noise cancelling headphones just in case. Despite the lack of noisemakers, music, or loud television, the constant hum of several voices was making Faith a bit distraught, so Claire put the headphones on her, and after a few minutes of getting used to her silence, she was content again.

Claire was pleased to see a lot of moms she recognized, including Fanny, Kezzie and Josiah running about with Thomas. She was introduced to Mary’s husband, Alex, almost as young as she was. Apparently, Thomas had been a happy accident when they were both still teenagers, and they got married right then. They were quite a sweet couple.

When midnight came, hats and silent paper party-blowers were passed around. The tellie was kept low, and the countdown was done in hushed whispers. The only sound to be heard as the ball dropped was the crinkling of the party-blowers, a few scattered “Yay!”s, and jovial “Happy New Year!”s all around. Faith was quite content watching the paper curl in and out as she blew, giggling every time.

It wasn’t long after that when Faith started falling asleep, along with most of the other kids, all except Thomas. He was still bouncing off the walls somehow. Mary had given Claire a heartfelt thank you for coming, as did Alex. Claire felt as giddy and fulfilled as she had when they’d left the Abernathy home after Thanksgiving.

“That’s a great bunch,” Gillian said as they buckled themselves in.

“Yes…it really is.”

——

The following day while Claire was at work, Gillian had started to pack, being that her flight was on January second, but she didn’t get very far. Evidently, Faith immediately registered that packing meant that Auntie Gi would be leaving soon, and she was quite irritable and weepy for most of the day. She was inconsolable for the most part, only content when she was hanging onto Gillian or sitting in front of the tellie for a few moments of respite with a movie. She hardly touched her food that night, and when Claire had tried to get her to eat, she’d roughly shoved her plate across the table. Claire had permitted Gillian to be the one to give her a stern talking to; eventually she ate enough to satisfy Claire, and Gillian sat with her until she fell asleep.

Gillian returned to the living room to find Claire trying to rearrange her suitcase so it would actually close. She spent a few minutes trying to help, before they both ended up sitting on it in order to zipper it shut.

Gillian sighed. "Puir wee thing thinks she's miserable. I dinna want to leave either."

Claire draped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her in until their heads were resting together, not wanting to speak how she felt, lest she burst into tears.

“Can I ask ye something, Claire? And can ye promise me ye’ll be honest?”

“Of course,” Claire said, releasing her so they could look at each other. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing wrong, or maybe there is. I don’t know.” She sighed. “Ye ken I’ve been seeing Toni, aye?”

Claire shook her head jerkily, blinking in shock. “Um, no, I don’t ken! When have you been doing that?”

“After you and Faith are asleep.” She shrugged, as if it were the most casual thing in the world. “I got an Uber and met her somewhere the first time, now she just picks me up and takes me right to her place. She’s actually quite — ”

“Please, spare me,” Claire interjected quickly. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m happy for you, of course, but I have to see her interact with my child once a week for the rest of forever.”

“Alright, alright.” Gillian put her hands up in surrender, giggling. “That wasna the point anyway. We dinna just have sex, we talk as well.”

“Well, I should hope,” Claire said wryly. “Be rather awkward otherwise.”

“Och, enough, ye wee prude.” Gillian shoved her arm. “What I’m trying to get at is that you have come up in conversation.”

“Me? In what context?”

“In ‘the Scot has the hots’ context.”

“Oh, Christ, Gi, not this again…”

“I’m serious, Claire,” Gillian said, her eyes widening, no joking in her tone at all. “I brought it up as a joke, ye know me. But then she just rattled off all these things…I’m no’ the only one who sees it. That’s all.”

“Sees what?”

“Are ye daft, woman?” Gillian blinked in disbelief, and then sighed exasperatedly.

“You haven’t asked me a question yet, you know,” Claire said defensively, crossing her arms. “That’s how you opened this conversation.”

“Alright. Fine. Why did ye no’ tell me he was at yer bloody apartment?” Gillian said flatly.

Claire stammered for a moment. “It didn’t seem at all important! Toni told you about that as well?”

“Aye, she did. Didna mean anything by it, just came up in conversation.”

“Right, in conversation about me.”

“Dinna get all fiery on me, Claire. It wasna all about you. She talked as much about Jamie.”

Claire was about to fire back again, but she quickly realized that Gillian was right; she was getting overly defensive and angry, something Gillian was never shy about calling her out on.

“Really. Why didn’t ye tell me?” Gillian asked again, softly.

“It wasn’t conscious…it just didn’t come up.” Claire started picking at a cuticle, focusing her vision there instead of on Gillian.

“Because ye didna want it to come up. Right?”

“It seemed…private. I don’t know. It wasn’t…like you think. Or like she thinks.” Claire hissed in pain at what she was doing to her finger, and Gillian swatted at her hand to make her stop.

“Toni says he makes all these exceptions fer Faith, bendin’ over backwards to make her happy.”

Claire’s head started spinning. “He’s just…being kind.”

“Aye, Claire,” Gillian chuckled. “Because he likes you. A lot more than I even thought.”

“That’s…that’s ridiculous.” Claire shook her head. “My child is his client.”

“Toni says it’s no’ the same as a regular therapist — ”

“Gillian, please…” Claire interrupted, a bit more forcefully than she meant to. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. Really, I do. You’re my best friend, I get it. And I love you for it. But this…” She leaned forward, resting her elbows on her thighs. “I don’t need this. I don’t need you to play matchmaker like we did in college.”

“Claire…”

“It’s alright, Gi. I’m not angry, I promise. I just…” She sighed. “I don’t need…I don’t need to be rescued anymore. Do you know what I mean? These past few months, just me and Faith…god, I’ve never felt so good about myself. I mean, hell, I’ve had doubt upon doubt creep into my mind, and not every day is good. But she is thriving here, and so am I. I don’t have to explain myself or my parenting to anyone anymore. And…fuck, Gi, I love it. I finally feel like…like I’m doing right by her.” She was surprised to feel the tears in her eyes, and she swallowed to keep them at bay. “For four years of her life, I was this…shell of myself. And god damn it, I pulled myself out of that. I know I had your help, always, and now I have Mrs. Lickett, and the Abernathy’s, and the whole community at the stables…but I did this. For her…and now I realize it was for me, too.”

Gillian put a hand on Claire’s knee. “I understand, hen.”

Claire nodded. “Jamie is incredibly kind, and thoughtful, and he’s done a lot for us. But it’s not what you think, and I don’t need…what you think it is. Faith doesn’t need that. She needs me. I need me. Am I…making any sense?”

“Ye are. Ye dinna have to explain yerself to me, Claire. I’m sorry,” Gillian said sheepishly. “Ye know me. Canna keep my neb out of anyone’s business. Least of all yers.”

Claire offered a tiny smile, then laid her head onto her shoulder. “Will you be seeing your American lover for one final tryst before you depart?”

Gillian snorted. “Nae, we’ve already said our goodbyes. Keeping it casual, ye ken. She’s just out of a relationship and all that.”

“Right. Well I’m glad you had that, however brief. Been a while since you’ve been with a woman, hasn’t it?”

“Aye, ye’re right! I was feeling starved for female affection after years of male disappointment!”

Claire guffawed loudly, and they both dissolved into a fit of giggles that carried into the wee hours of the morning.

#outlander #outlander au #outlander fanfic #outlander fanfiction #jamie fraser #claire fraser #claire beauchamp #faith fraser #geillis duncan #gillian edgars

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