#the sick friend
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reminder to take care of your loser human body
#danny phantom#danny fenton#college au#sam manson#tucker foley#there’s uh#lots of headcanons here#everlasting trio#they really ride the line between good friends and assholes#I love it for them#also#I headcanon the nausea thing comes when he neglects either half#do too much ghost stuff?#forget to be human?#get sick#too much human stuff?#energy too built up?#congrats you’re sick again#self care is important lmao#emetophobia#cw vomit#I spent so long drawing this idk who I am anymore
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identity reveals are always fun
#batcave search history that night: friend has no name. atlantis naming conventions. atlantian names. r there birth certificates in atlantis#theyre so fun to draw guys im sick with it#also: everyone thinking 'But his name is Garth'#I know that and YOU know that but he doesn't until like..... a few years later. canonically#Unnamed Youth 'Aqualad' No Last Name#and arthur does call him both minnow and tadpole so wally n dick r both right in their own ways#and for ppl who really dont know. garth was abandoned as an infant and didnt hang w anyone until arthur took him in lol. what a life#and arthur girl...... was aqualad the best and only u could do#teen titans#fab five#donna troy#wally west#dick grayson#garth of shayeris#roy harper#dc#dc comics#my art#everyone hangin by the salt water pool so garth can hang w them :]
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#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point#the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous#like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but#i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it#its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you#god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt#fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs#im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go#ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way.#anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen
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like literally if i didn’t want to see some weird nonsense i wouldn’t be consuming scifi
#embrace the genre!!!! stop being annoying!!!!#how many times has acclaimed podcast friends at the table done stuff just because it’s sick as shit??#exactly!!!
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i wish i could live a life where i wasn’t the ‘sick’ one
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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".
Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"
And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".
Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.
At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.
So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!
Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!
Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!
Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.
#hlep#original#mental health#my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it#i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support#and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of#huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the#longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel#i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop
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Sadie adler moment
#art#ive been sick for like almost 3 weeks an rdr2 has been my friend#i just love her#drawing#illustration#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#rdr2 fanart#rdr2 art#sadie adler#fanart#my art
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Tag yourself and your friends
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#im curious because im pretty much motion sick-proof (as far s I can tell)#but my friend is profoundly affected by carsickness and motion sickness playing VR#not st#not sure if this needs to be tagged in some way lol#doctor's log
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Bradley's finally learning how to chill (no he's not)
#maxley#an extremely goofy movie#max goof#bradley uppercrust iii#i said i wasn't gonna draw more maxley#i couldn't stop myself hrgh#my friends are probably so sick of my ass lol
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YOU ARE NOT NORMAL‼️‼️‼️
#his gay ass#house md#gregory house#james wilson#lisa cuddy#hatecrimes md#hilson#malpractice md#“well yes i was thinking about my male best friend while having sex w this lady who I say I’m in love with#don’t make me fuckin sick
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birthday party (id in alt)
#trigun maximum#trigun#trigun maximum spoilers#vash the stampede#millions knives#rem#a lot of characters but theyre the focus kinda#coming w a birthday cake 4 days later...happy birthday to the twins!!!!!!!#sniffling cause i got sick otl worked on this with sweat blood nd snot#anyway im glad i finally finished it even if im not entirely satisfied with it!! been in the drafts for a year... vash's little paradise#ever since i finished trimax drawing a comic like this where theyre all together - allies friends enemies and all has been on my mind#just doing smth - partying and all in the same space and being silley#the main plot never happened we’re all just in our corners of no mans land and miraculously rem is there#but tis could only happen in a weird weird dream..!the present world is waiting for u vash!!!#u are so loved by everybody and everyone misses u#ruporas art
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i feel like people are sleeping on the occam's razor situation of how buckwild it is to outright accuse a guy of being a clone of your friend even if you DO have a lot of circumstantial evidence. there's other options is what im saying. they could just be like. a guy. that's a sensible deduction. you should explore that deduction. ignore my shirt that reads I <3 RED HERRINGS.
i still think odile has the correct theory on lock but she's smart enough to know it needs like... a real smoking gun to be able to bring it up without sounding insane.
anyway. (mirabelle voice) i know its rude to speculate but has anyone else noticed the grieving? they seem to be grieving. does anyone have any thoughts on the grieving? i have some thoughts on the grieving.
#[isabeau voice] am i insane or does sometimes loop talk like they might have killed their whole family. is that just me? just checking.#nille design highly inspired by @kiwibrain's since its the one that imprinted in my mind. liberties taken since i didnt look @ reference#anyway i have a lot more thoughts on this? i guess ill hide them in the tags...? scroll down i suppose.#isat#in stars and time#isat spoilers#in stars and time spoilers#isat act 6 spoilers#isat loop#isat siffrin#isat bonnie#isat nille#isat fanart#in stars and time fanart#doodlebyte#----------------------------------------------------------------------#anyway the extra thoughts. are literally just my general thoughts on postcanon. (and thus are the context for all of my postcanon doodles!)#which is i think nille joins the party before loop reappears for a start (either from a period of nonexistence or just wandering around)#and that like. i think the party should be able to integrate loop as a completely new person. because they are! the secrecy isn't great but#They and Siffrin shuffle into different ecological niches in the party (eg. i think sif is more squeamish after it all but loop isnt)#and while it's not *exactly* what Loop wanted they get that beggars can't be choosers. and its pretty good#(i am glossing over how i think loop's reappearence drags both them and siffrin into a massive behavioural backslide and is likely a bit#distressing to watch go down. cycle of argument -> lovebombing -> normalcy -> repeat. etc etc. but since they are no longer literally#stewing in the worst pressure cooker of all time they do resolve it via productive conversation on their own time. its fine)#the party well-meaningly tries to deduce things from loop's vagueries and are able to pin down the DEAD FAMILY vibe pretty quickly.#but eventually the question of their prior identity falls by the wayside because well! they're just their friend loop! (also change belief)#as for how The Truth Come Out... this is what i mean by The Isabeau Torment Nexus(tm). which is that i think... isiloop should almost occur#BEFORE isabeau knows who loop is. he's just genuinely charmed by them eventually and tries to close the open end of the polycule#which FREAKS LOOP THE FUCK OUT because thats just too genuinely sick and wrong. and obviously w emotions high its not a great confrontation#ANYWAY told u i had more thoughts. if i were normal itd be a text post but.
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imagine kevin came back with the foxes instead of staying in west virginia after riko died and he's looking around their dorm room in despair after he sees the damage that jean's rage induced grief inflicted. he's helping clean up & goes to throw stuff in the trash when he see's a pile of andrew's candy bars in there. it's so ridiculous & such a jean thing to do that he actually laughs and suddenly he misses his first and longest best friend so much that he feels sick with it
#sick bc he and jean will never be the same again#sick because jean's the only one who'd understand him in ways nobody else can#sick because of everything riko took from them#sick bc he wants his best friend back#the things these two do to me#kevjean#kevin day#jean moreau#the sunshine court#tsc#all for the game#aftg
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ladybug totally talks in her sleep. especially during patrol naps, when sleeping feels like a mix of dreaming and reality, and so a lot of her dreams during that time involve chat noir. out of nowhere she'll say 'chat what the fuck' and he turns around like ???? what did i do??? but she won't elaborate. or, most commonly, she'll just say 'are you okay??' out of nowhere. and he's like. 'yes??' and she wakes up a little and is so embarrassed. she was having a dream about an akuma fight and was so convinced she just saw him take a hit. when really he's just chilling on the rooftop next to her
#this is definitely not inspired by me half dreaming and telling my best friend 'are you okay? drink some water'#because in my dream i thought someone next to me was feeling sick shfkd#i was too sleepy to remember yhe whole convo but i definitely remember the baffled silence#miraculous ladybug#ladynoir#tagged:ladynoir#♡alizeh talks♡
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can’t stop crying over arthur loving merlin for merlin. like he fr thought he was just some guy but guess what? that’s his some guy. and he’d stick with him forever. i think i’m gonna throw up
#I FEEL SICK. LIKE. THAT WAS ARTHUR’S FRIEND!!! ARTHUR LOVED HIM BECAUSE HE WAS HIMSELF AND HE DIDN’T NEED ANYTHING MORE THAN THAT!!!!!#i can’t fucking do this. genuine tears just spilling from my eyes rn#i know this has been said over and over but i dont care!!! i dont care!!!! it can be said again!!!!!!#cupid de bunny#merlin#merthur#100#500#1000
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