#the show may not have handled it 100% well but I will hold that many of the elements are present start to finish

[zeravmeta]

i think many people's dissonance with arc-v basically comes down to whether or not you believe that the missed potential of an idea is equable to bad writing.

arc-v is definitely wonky with its themeing and has unexplored potential, but 'unexplored potential' isnt really the same as saying 'this was badly written'

[mindfulstudyquest]

❥﹒♡﹒☕﹒ 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟱 𝗴𝗼𝗮𝗹𝘀

𝟭. travel ( ✈️ )

2024 took away many travel opportunities from me. i was supposed to go to barcelona with my family, but my grandfather passed away, and we stayed in italy to handle the funeral. i was supposed to travel to sofia with my cousin, but one of my exams was rescheduled to a date i couldn’t possibly miss, so i had to give up the trip. lastly, i was planning to go to valencia to celebrate my birthday, but a flood disrupted the city, and i couldn't go anymore.

in short, it was a frustrating year in this regard — i lost a lot of money and, most importantly, many opportunities to travel, which i believe has significantly inhibited me in this area. while i used to be much more inclined to book last-minute trips when the chance to travel on a budget arose, now i feel much more anxious about doing so.

i want 2025 to be filled with travels. i want to fully take advantage of the opportunities that circumstances beyond my control stole from me in 2024.

𝟮. keep my life even more private ( 🔒 )

it's been years now since i completely disappeared from social media. i no longer post photos or updates about my life online as if i were an influencer, and my daily life has significantly improved without the pressure to appear a certain way online. life is truly better when no one knows anything about you.

however, in real life, i'm quite the chatterbox, and i often find myself oversharing without even realizing it. that said, because i strongly believe in the evil eye, i've learned that, even if i have to bite my tongue, i can't share projects that are not yet completed — not even with the people closest to me, not even if i'm 100% sure they would be happy for me.

in fact, even though i cut off toxic people from my life two years ago, other friendships i thought were strong have ended this year. i want to live a peaceful, private life, even if that means staying silent. show results rather than plans.

𝟯. meditate and journal ( 🪴 )

i started this year (2024) well with this kind of self-care, but i completely lost it around may. i'll try again in 2025, hoping i can stick to it. if not, see you in 2026.

𝟰. indulge in healthy female friendships ( 🩷 )

two years ago, i cut ties with many toxic friendships that were holding me down and keeping me from healing. since then, i've been mostly alone, except for a few surviving connections i kept after high school. when i started university, i made new friendships, but they were very superficial and always centered around university matters.

however, since moving to spain, i've really understood which people were just taking from me without truly being interested in me as a person. in return, though, these past few months i've met some truly amazing girls in madrid, and i want to let myself indulge in that beautiful feminine energy that only girl friendships can give. wine and cheese in front of an episode of gilmore girls while you cut out pictures for your vision board.

𝟱. eat healthier ( 🥗 )

these past few months have been a rollercoaster with food. i've prepared a lot of homemade meals, but i've also ordered out quite often. i don't see anything wrong with ordering takeout or eating out with friends, but since it often happened when i was alone and didn't feel like cooking, i want to try to organize my cooking better and eat as many homemade meals as possible. of course, i won’t deprive myself of lunches and dinners out with friends, but i want to limit takeaway food to social occasions, not to lonely sundays.

it's been less than two years since i got out my ed and i want to keep the happy and healthy relationship with food i gained with so much hard work.

𝟲. keeping up with goals reached last year ( ☁️ )

obviously, all the work i’ve done over the past few years won’t go to waste! i want to persevere with the good habits i’ve developed and the work i’ve done on myself. the past few years have been strange and full of changes, but i feel like it’s all been positive. i’m happy with where i’ve gotten to and the person i’ve become, but i know i still have a long way ahead of me.

happy new year's eve everyone 🎉 which goals are you planning to reach?

[gay-dorito-dust]

hobie brown (spider-punk!!) is giving me severe brain rot, i love him sm 😭

if you ever decide to write for him, could you do some relationship hcs??

ty ^^

Not sure wether this is what you wanted but I hope it was worth it.

Music from the heart:

One of the most obvious ones is that Hobie would have a plethora of songs about you, it’s fucking adorable and so sweet, and so he would play them for you within the comfort of your room because where else would you rather be serenaded?

If anything it makes the moment more special and memorable for the both of you as something you can look back on with fondness.

Though you probably try teasing him one day by asking how many more songs of you he had in the works and Hobie would either say ‘too many to count.’ Or ‘a whole albums worth.’ He’s not going to hide the fact that he’s got notebook after notebook filled with song lyrics dedicated to you.

Pda though not quite:

Hobie isn’t the type to heavily involve himself in PDA but isn’t against the likes of:

holding hands.

his hand being placed on the small of your back when guiding you somewhere else.

the classic arm over the shoulder.

Thigh holding

His/ your head resting on each others shoulders and or laps.

Guitar pick:

This one came to my head out of the blue but I’m gonna add it here even though I’m not too certain but here it is anyway:

if Hobie uses guitar picks to play his guitar -which he probs doesn’t but idk- I’d like to think he’d make you a guitar pick necklace from one of his old picks.

Sure he hates gifts and such but this is the sole expectation alongside any and all handcrafted jewellery you may give him because he wears that shit with pride.

Terms of endearment:

Love

Darling

Sweetheart

Impromptu sleepovers:

Hobie crashes at your place more often then not to the point he might as well be living with you in regards of how often he leaves something of his at yours, so much so you’ve begun to wonder if he was doing it intentionally or accidentally.

Either way you made sure that his stay was comfortable by having a makeshift bed set up for him so he didn’t have to constantly sleep on the uncomfortable couch and wake up with a crooked neck.

Hobie appreciates all that you do for him but would often tell you it’s not necessary but you weren’t about to get into a discussion about whether or not he was deserving of help because the answer was obvious and that answer would always and forever will be; yes.

Also he’s a bit of a cuddle bug but only with you but that’s your little secrete.

Date nights:

Most, if not all of your dates are either just the pair of you being your natural selves in the comfort of your own home where’d you would talk about anything and everything that came to your mind, free of judgment.

or

showing Hobie your undying love and support by showing up to his gigs and scream the loudest because he is talented as shit and deserves a lot more in your eyes.

Either way as long as you were within each others company, anywhere you both went could be considered a date.

Spidey business:

Now this is all dependant on wether or not you know he’s Spider-Man:

If you did then you’d probably would help him patch up his wounds after every fight he had

Or

If you weren’t due to Hobie wanting nothing more then to keep you and that life as far from each other as possible, you’d most definitely would be concerned when you see him with any sustained injuries he tried patching up himself.

No matter how hard you try to get him to tell you what’s wrong, Hobie would just tell you it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle.

Meeting his friends/ Bragging rights:

Before introducing you to the likes of Pavitr, Miles and Gwen(if you haven’t already met her), it’s almost an 100% guarantee that he brags about you anyway he knows how which only intrigues them more and more to the point they’re just pleading with Hobie to introduce his cool, kickass partner to them.

So when he does, the three are practically hounding you about your relationship with Hobie and when you looked back at him for help in wrangling in his over excited friends, the little shit merely smirks and shrugs his shoulders as though he had no idea they’d react like this, all the while leaning on the wall with his arms crossed over his chest; happy to see all his favourite people he cares about a lot interacting with one another to the point that by the end of the day you’re very good friends with each of them.

[ijustwanttoreadfanfictionplease]

Imaging each Akatsuki member eating out y/n 😊

• Have you ever been eaten out by someone with peircings? That shit can hurt but pain is pein is pain. He will grab your thighs rough commenting about how it's obscene to be participating in this but will still give it his all. Or, his version of all ���

• "It's only a slight pinch, no? Surely, you can handle the pain prior to pleasure"

• Definitely a clit nibbler and will try his damnest to make sure to edge you until you're crying with snot dripping down your face and drooling

• She knows what to do and how to do it well. Start off with long broad strokes that will turn into whatever she sees you're into. Fast paced and flexed tongue? Done. Slow and heavy soft kitten licks? Done. She's going to get you to cum.

• "It's okay, baby. See? You're enjoying this right? Much better then those /men/. Let a woman show you pleasure."

• Takes a small break to check up on you to see how you're doing. Otherwise she won't stop. She'll want to hear you /beg/ her to stop. Oh please you'll cry, I can't take it! Yes! You! Can! Just one more for Kon-mommy?

• Those long slender fingers are definitely trying to find your g-spot as his nose rubs against your clit, hot panting against your vulva "Please darling, I want to see you cum"

• Lots of praise, will ask you point blank what you like. Will not stop or change pace until you cum undone. He'll lower his tone and you'll hear the appreciation in his voice as he whispers "Beautiful."

• You're cumming once with him and it feels somehow even more intimate than having someone's face in your genitals can be.

• You're riding tonight baby. This man will make you sit there no matter what. Worried about your weight? Worried about looks? Fuck, stop, don't even. This man is pussy hungry. He will spread your lips and burrow in that bitch until he is sloppily making out with your hole.

• There's no talking, just his strong arms wrapped around your legs to hold you in place. If you start rocking against his nose as has his tongue deep in your pussy he'll feel obliged to lend a hand and place his hands on your hips to grip them bitches and rock them harder.

• Will make you cum at minimum twice. He won't stop until then.

• Okay he's like super inexperienced and you'd think the mouths on hands would give him some points.. but they don't. They bite too hard or lick to soft and fingering you I'd difficult as the mouths are, well.. bitey. Regardless, he's excited and thinks he'll win.

• "Gunna give you the best head, hm. Get that vagina so wet and tight for me!" He has the spirit I suppose. It's not going well and you're not really feeling it until he accidently discovers licking your clit at juuuuust the right angle got you a quiet gasp. From there it's go time.

• It'll feel nice but you probably won't cum still. He tried to spread your lips at the end to get a better angle but his hand bit the lip. Youre furious, in pain now, and didn't cum.

• "I won't be partaking in this." Atleast that what he says. As he watches you squirm confused. Why would he be here if he wasn't going to -- oh! A toy!

• He's a little cheater and uses a clit ducking machine along with a vibrating dildo. Will fuck you over and over and over and over and ov - "Ah, how many times is it? 10? We'll shoot for 15 my precious doll."

• You can't walk. You can't talk. Sasori has wrecked you. Ruined you. You may be begging for more next week who knows

• "Come on old man, 100 bucks says I make her cum faster." Hidan makes it a bet with Kakuzu almost immediately. He rushes in a bit too much but god damn is he really doing a number on you.

• He is sweating and panting like a dog in heat while making out with your clit. He wants you to cum now!! There's a bet in place!! But, he gets too cocky when you start ti really get into it and hold his head in place with your thighs. You're about to cum aaaaand "You gonna cum baby?" He stopped . He stopped and asked you a question ; hes not even fingering you anymore fuck!!!

• Takes 10 minutes to come since he keeps moving and stopping when the going gets good. Takes no hints and is just being annoying with it

• Looks you in the eyes while towering over you, "Make it 200." It looks like he's going to eat you and not the way you'd like! Eep! He will absolutely lay you flat on your back and grab your thighs so hard as he pulled you to his mouth.

• This man is CONCENTRATING! Daddy Kakuzu has been around he know what to do and gets down to it. His thick fingers pumping inside you hitting that g-spot, the lewd wet noises as he is liking and sucking in your clit. You can barely contain yourself as your toes curl and your moans get louder. You hear him grunt as he pushes his face somehow more into you.

• You cum within 3 minutes. World record baby. Well, akatsuki record I guess

• This is Tobi everyone, say hi tobi! Tobi is tobi as tobi is no one but Tobi! That's right! He wants to play a game too! Everyone else is playing with you, why can't he? "MY TURN!!"

• Will not take off the mask. Will not finger you. But god damn the sight if your naked pussy is going into the spank bank. Maybe it's time to rethink who knows about obit-- Whats that? You're trying to tell him it's not a game? Oh, this is fun.

• Is thoroughly enjoying the misery of you trying to explain you're being tongue fucked by the others. Wants a thorough explanation. Wants you to talk about what you liked and didn't. His cock is weeping and you will be too if you keep blushing asking if it's really okay for someone like him to hear this from you.

[cpvnksabm]

Things I Think RTC Did Well In Disability Rep (in 2016-2018 scripts)

exactly what it says in the title. i'm not touching on the pre-2016 scripts because i dont know enough about them and i'm not talking about the 2022 script changes for obvious reasons.

disclaimer, this is all my own opinion as one disabled person, other people may feel differently and that's fine.

Ricky's disability in general

Ricky is a young person who uses mobility aids. He can't talk, implicitly due to dysarthria. He has a degenerative disease, specifically a rare disease which is heavily implied to be neuromuscular. And it's stated outright that his disease is lifespan-limiting and that he's dealt with his own mortality in life.

And all of these things are very underrepresented!

I'm not going to claim that all of these things were explained perfectly or explored in detail in the canon. But just having them on-stage, in my opinion, is a big deal in itself. And it's also a big deal that Ricky is a main character, who has the same character depth as the abled characters, when so many characters like him are reduced to ableist props for other characters' story arcs.

I understand there's been some confusion about the specifics of ricky's disability, in the fandom. And I know part of the confusion comes from the fact that the script didn't explain everything, and glossed over most of the details. But honestly? The fact that so many RTC fans didn't initially understand parts of his disability - such as the fact that it's likely neuromuscular, or the fact that his inability to speak is implied to have a physical cause - just makes it more important that these things were represented on-stage in the first place. They're so underrepresented, little-known, and poorly-understood that many people don't pick up on them even when they are represented!

Just showing these underrepresented disabled experiences on-stage has potential to help a lot of disabled people feel seen, which matters.

Ricky as a victim of ableism

Okay, this one might be controversial, but i'm speaking from the heart here.

Ableism is a huge part of Ricky's backstory and character - the whole Zolar thing is stated to be a coping method to deal with isolation & cruelty. Throughout the musical Ocean infantilizes him in dialogue, and in her song she argues point-blank that he has no reason to be alive due to his disability. The rest of the choir aren't perfect either - sure, nobody else says anything ableist, but they're all bystanders to Ocean's overt ableism, nobody really holds her accountable or acknowledges that what she's saying is fucked up. On top of that, Ricky says after his song that nobody listened to him while he was alive which, combined with the whole choir being shocked upon learning about his deeper thoughts, pretty clearly implies that they all ignored him previously.

And it's so fucking realistic.

Look. I'm not saying that Ocean's ableism was ever handled perfectly in canon. I am saying that when I saw a post-2022 production with the able-bodied Ricky script, I got a sinking feeling in my gut when we got to *that* part of WTWN and I realized the ableist lines had been removed/replaced. Because facing ableism is a huge part of my disabled experience that I barely ever see even acknowledged in media, let alone represented accurately, and the more I face ableism in real life the more I feel I can relate to Ricky, and that is so important to me.

Depicting bigotry in fiction is always difficult to do right - it's a rough balance between "this is not okay and we should not imply that it is" and "many people believe this is okay, wrongly, and that needs to be shown accurately". Sure, you can make it so the antagonist character is overtly ableist and every sympathetic character explicitly says "I do not agree with your ableist views!" and that way it's 100% clear that the ableist actions are wrong. But real ableism isn't just like that. Sometimes real-world ableism is a group of perfectly nice people who just never think about the disabled kid, or how he's doing or whether someone should talk to him, because they've been taught to ignore him. And sometimes it's a girl who swears to God that she's a good person, who considers herself an ally, whose voice stays sweet and kind as she switches between talking to her disabled classmate like he's 5 years old and claiming he doesn't deserve to live.

I think the brutal honesty of ableism in RTC is important. Yeah, it's pretty fucked-up when you think about it - Ocean openly sings about why Ricky shouldn't live, every ableist character is presented sympathetically, nobody is ever actually held accountable for ableism on-stage - and that's just like real life. I'd like to think that it could act as a wake-up call to some abled fans, who are similar to Ocean (+ others) and who could learn to understand the flaws in their worldview when they realize you're not supposed to agree with what she says in WTWN. But even more importantly than that... it makes me feel seen, in a way that I couldn't feel if Ricky's experiences with ableism weren't shown so realistically.

SABM, like, all of it

Do I even need to explain this? Disabled person has a whole furry-themed musical number. That's cool as fuck. God I wish that were me.

Okay, seriously. I think SABM is wonderful and important for a number of reasons. Like all of the character songs, it's important for expanding Ricky's character - not only is it a main glimpse into his interests, but it sets up for us to learn more about his personality and the selflessness that would later lead to the touching Savannah scene. It shows us his deep internal thoughts - it confirms that he has deep internal thoughts - and explains how he's been coping with the ableism he faces.

SABM is weird. I like that. I like that Ricky gets to have weird interests and a weird self-insert fantasy, while being disabled - I like that being disabled isn't treated as his "weird" trait, such that giving him weird interests as well would be "too much". Because that happens a lot! Disabled people are expected to be completely average in every other way to "make up" for our disability. And, yeah, SABM is kind of horny - and that makes sense! Ricky is a teenager, he's in his final year of high school, most people his age do have sexual fantasies. Other characters also reference sex in various ways so it makes sense that Ricky would. And I think it makes sense for SABM to be weird because part of Ricky's backstory is being ignored and isolated due to his disability - that's the sort of thing that, long-term, can leave people without a clear reference point for 'weird' and 'normal', or just leave them having no reason to care about being 'weird' because they're ignored anyway.

But also, if I may get analytical for a moment. Throughout the musical until SABM, Ricky faces a lot of ableism from Ocean, which isn't really commented on - she infantilizes him, both by assuming he's incapable of deeper thought/understanding and by being shocked at the idea that he might talk about porn or sex, and she also argues that he doesn't have a reason to live with his disability. Ocean is a flawed character and an unreliable narrator, but for the first half of the musical, you could be forgiven for thinking maybe you're supposed to agree with her and view Ricky as some pitiable child.

And then in comes Ricky's introduction, followed by SABM. And clearly Ricky isn't mentally a child, in any way - he's developed a whole complex story with deep worldbuilding so that he can imagine himself having sex with alien catgirls. But it also makes it clear that Ricky does have valuable ideas to contribute and, heck, just things he enjoys - which feels significant to me when a few songs ago it was being argued that there's no reason he should be alive.

As I said earlier, the ableism Ricky faces is extremely realistic and relatable to me. And SABM makes it clear that Ocean's ableist views about him are untrue and harmful, without breaking the realism for her to turn directly to the audience and say "By the way, you aren't supposed to agree with most of what I say about Ricky - I'm an unreliable narrator speaking due to my own biases!"

Basically - SABM is a subtle deconstruction of all the ableist things said to/about Ricky throughout the musical. It's an incredibly important part of the musical and an important way to represent a disabled character. And it's also a fucking bop.

Why this is important

Representation matters. That's a concept that has been explained a lot, by people who can articulate it better than I can - I won't fully explain here, just google "why does representation matter".

Look - over the years, many aspects of RTC's disability rep have been criticised in various ways. And a lot of that criticism is completely justified. Many topics were handled confusingly, not fully explained, and not properly explored like they could have been; erasure was pretty much baked into the script, with Ricky becoming able-bodied in the afterlife, and while some productions have tried to alleviate this by retaining his mobility aids nobody has found a workaround for his inability to speak in a genre where it's important for him to sing; and in recent years his disability has been entirely erased from the script, in an incredibly ableist way.

I'm not saying RTC is perfect; far from it. But if I thought there was no value in RTC's disability rep, and Ricky was just some offensive caricature, I wouldn't be in the fandom.

In fact, it's because I love Ricky and see him as valuable disability rep that I think it's important to criticise the parts of the musical that aren't handled well & the issues with disability erasure. RTC had good disability rep - that's why I think it should be improved, why it can be improved, and why i think we should fight against erasure. That's a big part of why I hate the 2022 script changes! Because they erased something that was important to me!

A lot of the things I loved about RTC in the first place are things that I frequently see glossed over, or downright erased, in fanworks. I think sometimes people don't realize the significance of these details, so I wanted to share why I think it's important! Some of these details really need more exploration and more love!

Overall, I think it's important to understand that media can't always be sorted neatly into "good representation" or "bad representation". And that talking about the good things and criticising the flaws can both be important. I really wanted to share my perspective on this topic. Thanks for reading!

[l0sercat]

@the-faceless-bride Hope you like it! Also BIGGGG Trigger warning for SA!!!!!!

Yandere alphabet w/ Ace Ventura

Affection — how do they show their love and affection?

Smothering you with his attention and love. He may give you a gift or two but he is definitely bombarding you with hugs and kisses. He may or may not hump you like dog. And if you complain he'll just sloppily make out with you and muffle you with his tongue.

Blood — how messy are they willing to get when it comes to their darling?

Somewhat messy. He won't kill anyone for some stupid reason. He may be a little silly but he isn't stupid. Only if it is crucial he will resort to murder. He doesn't want to have to deal with the pain of hiding a body and evading the police. But if he does kill he is getting a murder boner and he'll make you take care of it.

Cruelty — how would they treat their darling once abducted?

He can be mean if he wants too but he really likes you so he's pretty chill. But he is a big tease, he is constantly poking fun at you and making you question yourself. His teasing can be a bit much so you cry and he feels bad like really bad. So he does his best to make it up with you.

Darling — aside from abduction, would they do anything against their darling’s will?

Yeah he would do a lot of things. He'd get tired after a month that you don't want sex. You would've have to had been really bratty and he's so pent up that he just grabs your wrists and hold them above your head and just takes you. Wether you'd bent over a couch or table or on his bed. Your struggling underneath him and whimpering in pain and pleasure.

Exposed — how vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

He can be decently vulnerable but I doubt he'll ever be 100% open. He won't be able to tell you everything and nor does he want to.

Fight — how would they feel if their darling fought back?

Would not appreciate it. And you would learn that day that when Ace tells you to stop you stop. There will be a punishment if you misbehave, and his punishments suckk.

Game — is this a game to them? How much would they enjoy watching their darling try to escape?

He doesn't believe it's a game but he does enjoy seeing you try to escape. It makes him laugh and get really excited tracking you down and then forcing you back. Although after a while he does get annoyed having to drag you back to his place. He had cases to work on so your wasting his time! Sometimes he'll take you with him if he has to travel somewhere far.

Hell — what would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

When you keep pressing Ace's button and he finally snaps and takes you rather harshly. Your crying and begging for him to stop and that your sorry. And he just forces your head into the surface and growls for you to shut the fuck up. He is pounding his frustration into you. And then afterwards he shoves you in the bathroom and locks you in there. He then ignores your cries and pleas for a couple days and he hopes when he opens the door you will be nicer

Ideals — what kind of future do they have in mind for their darling?

In a big house with many animals and him and his career is well known across the world. You doting on him and being a house husband/wife, taking care of animals with him. He doesn't really want kids so if you want them your gonna have to convince him really hard. And your gonna take care of them 24/7 he will not help you.

Jealousy — do they get jealous? How do they handle it?

Oh yeah he gets jealous. He'll make whoever he is jealous of look like a fool and start talking over them. He is holding you tight and commenting on their appearance. And then to top it all will make out with you until you can't breathe or until the person wakes away.

Kisses — how do they act around or with their darling?

He is like his regular self just a bit more crazy and possessive. He demands your attention and love and for you to do anything he says. He wants you to come cuddle him in the couch with all his animals, so you better do it. He's feeling horny so you better come help him out. When he is tired though he is really sweet and vulnerable. That's when he talks softly and will hold you gently.

Love letters — how would they go about approaching their darling?

Like his normal stud self. He is gonna play the mister cool act and try to woo you normally. Bombarded you with letter asking you out and him coming you in person asking you out. If you decline he is gonna safely kidnap your pet (dont worry their safe with Ace) and hope you call him for his service. When you do he is gonna take his time 'searching' for them, going through your drawers and stealing a pair or two of your underwear. Then magically after a while your pet shows up and your so grateful and your bond with him is closer. You take him up on that date offer<3

Mask — are their true colors drastically different from the way they act around everyone else?

Not really he is more chill around you but he is still his bubbly and loud self. He is a lot more touchy at home though.

Naughty — how would they punish their darling?

Definitely chasing you to the bed and hurting you anyway he wants. You will be blindfolded and gagged while your limbs are bound. He may inflict a cut or a smack and then fuck you for hours. He is not kind with his punishments and just because he loves you doesn't mean he will go easy on you.

Oppression — how many rights would they take away from their darling?

All. Well maybe he'll let you have some. Like he lets you go out with him. He lets you cook if you enjoy cooking and baking. He doesn't let you have control over your autonomy. He enjoys picking out what you wear so your opinion doesn't matter.

Patience — how patient are they with their darling?

Not that patient. Pretty straightforward guy so his nerves are short. He doesn't tolerate disrespect towards him, and you will find yourself being smacked if you do. And never yell at his pets cause you will be punished terribly!

Quite — if their darling dies, leaves, or successfully escapes, would they ever be able to move on?

If Darling dies he will be devastated, he will be overcome with grief. Thinking back on what he could've done to save you and what he could've done better. Was it the cruel punishments or? He couldn't find a romantic partner after you. Now if you escape he will search the whole world for you. You can't escape him he will find you. Although you could probably successfully escape him but you'd have to be on the run 24/7.

Regret — would they ever feel guilty about abducting their darling?

No. He may feel guilty about how he treats you sometimes, which is rarely. But he is glad he took you because now he has you all for himself. He needed you and you weren't falling for him quick enough.

Stigma — what brought about this side of them (childhood, curiosity, etc)?

Who knows with him. He just had overwhelming feelings of love and obsession and he knew he had to do something. Ace takes what he wants and doesn't take no for a answer.

Tears — how do they feel about seeing their darling scream, cry, and/or isolate themselves?

Their is a part of him who enjoys seeing you cry. Your face all red and eyes puffy with tears flowing out of your ducts. Your face stained and ruined and lips trembling. It makes him want to take you right then and there. Now screaming annoys the fuck outta him and he will not tolerate it. And isolating is something that is just not gonna happen. Ace will make sure your never alone when he is there.

Unique — would they do anything different from the classic yandere?

Ace has wondering eyes. Yes you are the one for him and he loves you. But he can't help if a women with a big ass and tits is walking down the street and his eyes just ogle at her. He thinks your sexy as well but I mean he is just man, it's in his DNA to look!

Vice — what weakness can their darling exploit in order to escape?

That he lives in a apartment so walls are thin and that he is gone for cases. So definitely some good escape opportunities!

Wit’s end — would they ever hurt their darling?

Yeah. Wether to punish you or in a kinky way. Doesn't matter to him. Seeing you cry and so submissive make him hard. He wants you to beg him to stop the pain.

Xoanon — how much would they revere or worship their darling?

He wants you to worship him. He loves you a lot but he craves to be needed by you. He wants to you to worship the ground he walks on and he craves you to do anything he wants. But during sex get him in the right mood he'll fucking worship you like crazy!

Yearn — how long do they pine after their darling before they snap?

Probably a month. You still don't want him after he has tried again and again? That's fine he'll just take you for himself. He just can't control his urge to have you!

Zenith — would they ever break their darling?

It's 50/50 shot with him. You may break in order to save yourself from his craziness. I mean the dude fucks you almost every day and then is always demanding stuff from you. But he also is caring so that would most likely be your saving grace. When he is with you and his pets he is soft and kind. He is capable of being a decent person.

[navyismycolor]

The Requirements of your Requirements

Something that I have learned in the past few years is that while it is important to have clarity about what traits we seek in our future spouses, that alone is not enough. We also have to mirror and reflect what such traits would seek in us. We have to meet the requirements of our requirements.

When I think about this, it gives me a definitive template for self improvement along the dimension of relationships. Personally, I seek someone who:

Loves me for who I am

that means firstly, I will need to have the courage to show who I am, including all those parts of me that are not shiny and impressive, I will have to practice being vulnerable, be willing to let go and lean on her knowing she has the strength to hold me up

and that in return, I shall love her for who she is, knowing that she wont be perfect, she wont tick every minute box that we all sub-consciously visualize in our love, and that is not only ok, it is precious, because in return she will bring gifts that I did not even imagine

Is monogamous and committed to long term

so I have to equally invest in single-minded commitment. I have to leave behind the thoughts of "oh what if" and "what about that". I have to give my 100% to this one person, and every day either find new ways to love her more, or reinforce the expressions of affection that work well for her

additionally, I have to be prepared for the long term, which specifically means growing my resilence to the fact that love will ebb and flow, and some days it will be hard to feel it while other days it will be so easy. I will have to fight for our shared future, overcome difficulties, wake up and choose her every day. I have to actively andeavour to grow together than grow apart.

Wants family and children

which means I have to be prepared to prioritize my family first. I have to know that sacrifices will have to be made because this is not going to be my life alone, but a shared future of all of us, and believe that is for the better.

plus, I have to be receptive to learning how to be a better father every day, give the best part of my time and energy to their upbringing and well being, and delight in their growth. I have to invest in ensuring they grow up to be both strong as well as sensitive humans who can give and receive love equally well.

Is emotionally and mentally stable

in turn, I have to constantly and proactively invest in my own emotional health. I have to identify and admit my own weaknesses and pains that I carry in me, and do my best to be able to handle them while allowing her to be part (but not responsible) for that journey

Is submissive in nature and wants to be led

that means I have to learn every day how to be a better leader, not just a dominant. i have to learn how to put her needs first so I can make decisions that are in her, or at least our combined best interest. I have to give her both the safety and the reassurance of knowing that she can rest easy by letting me lead in the relationship

Is traditional and wants to stay at home

that means I have to grow both the financial muscle as well as physical stamina to pull the family on my own at least in terms of external duties. I have to grow transferrable and employable skills and discipline with my lifestyle. And, I have to keep a level head in handling the chaos and pressures of daily businesse that will pile up on the family and always stay on top of my responsibilities.

I do not know if I will ever meet the woman I wish to find and share my life with. But if I ever do, I want to be ready. Such opportunities will only come rarely in life, and I cannot let them go to waste because I lazed around saying I will start when the situation arrives.

I have come a long way in many of these, but self improvement is a life long journey, and every new milstone and bend in the road reveals new challenges and opportunities that may not have been discovered before. It can be overwhelming at times, but like I felt way back in grad school, discovering diverse and difficult challenges also means that you have come far enough to appreciate the importance of preparing yourself to face those difficulties.

Let us keep growing brothers, not only for ourselves, but for the future we envision and want to be a part of.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

Tagged by @daggertongue

How to: Rate your OCs based on how they handle cuddling/being cuddled.

I don't have as many fun ocs as you but I'll run down my little list of bioware dudes <3

Ezra Shepard: 10/10, he will cuddle with anyone anywhere, and very often initiates physical contact with anyone he's close to, platonic romantic or whatever. It was very difficult getting Jack used to this in particular, but they managed to power through. He tends to bonk helmets with Tali.

Miles Shepard: 5/10, he is a very sociable and kind and everyone loves him, but he's always keeping a professional distance in a way most people will either not notice or consider entirely appropriate given that he is their Commander after all. Even with Kaidan he prefers small touches and hand holding; any outright cuddling is initiated by Kaidan, and he has to sort of force himself to accept that such a thing is allowed. Only when they're alone, mostly late at night when he's too tired for distance. Even still, sometimes he enjoys it, sometimes it's just too much. Even years down the line with all shame unlearned, he's not up to cuddling 100% of the time, though it's at least around 80% by then. They have a million other rituals to to show affection. He's not really cuddling with anyone else.

Alim Surana: 2/10 pretty much everyone, 6/10 for Zevran. He is just not much of a cuddler by nature. He also likes to keep a professional distance from people, doesn't trust easily, and shows his affection in a myriad of other ways if he actually likes you. (He frequently doesn't like people, but will strongly pretend he does if he has a use for them; how comfortable he is with physical touch is the greatest indicator of how real it is). Even with Zevran they often don't quite cuddle per se. Zevran's head in his lap; shoulders touching; laying on top of each other; but seldom really tucked in each other's arms or holding one another in bed. Alim likes his space, and Zevran is fine with giving it to him. Even when they're at they're closest and least ashamed of it. For a second I thought to add Morrigan to the list, but honestly I don't think she's much for cuddling either, and their friendship with each other is stronger for it.

Kamil Hawke: 9/10 that man is a cuddler but he does have to know you first. But that threshold is often a lot smaller than most think. He's most affectionate with his family; Mother, Carver, and Bethany, when they were there with him. It at least can never be said that he didn't hug any of them enough. Anders he keeps almost possessively close, rarely taking a hand off him, having him wrapped in his arms as often as possible. But you'll also frequently catch him cuddled with Merrill, who joyfully welcomes such behavior, and Isabela, who always says she can't stand it, yet never pushes Hawke away; "If I don't let him he'll pout all night," she'll say, and this is technically true. He has...more of a warrior's bond with Aveline, Fenris and Varric, that makes him typically keep his distance, but if the mood strikes you may find him wrapped around them as well.

Bonus round for my tarnished priest guy Cedric because Elden Ring is on my mind: He plays up being very stoic and unemotional, both as a Confessor warrior priest and later as he tries to dress himself up as a Paladin of the Erdtree; but once he gets past his blocks and issues (aka has a prostate orgasm) he is a huge cuddlebug and the hard part is getting him off of you.

tagging @fury-brand and @nautilusopus I know you guys have fun ocs at least. No pressure though.

[veranda-larkspur]

hii could i have fuffly dating hcs w joseph and a cutesy reader, if thats okay ? (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ also it would be cute to include pda, but you dont have to if you dont want to (ﾒ﹏ﾒ)

you. you are my favorite. (This is my first ask I'm so excited. I'm guessing you mean "cutsey as in lace, pastels, and the such, right? A bit difficult without specifications as everyone is adorable in their own ways. I'll do my best for you, anon!!!)

Joseph x Cutesy Reader

Well, aren't you a dear? Joseph sure thinks so.

First and foremost, the two of you are just so sweet together!!!! (It's gotten to the point that the survivors and hunters just have to look away... they can't handle people being so utterly in love.)

Whenever Joseph walks into a room, his eyes are on full lookout, waiting for that telltale sign of pastel clothing and bright aura.

When Joseph find you however, be prepared. He has lots to love to give, and someone's gonna get it... specifically you.

Joseph will often disregard his status as "the short hunter" and will... briskly walk towards you. (He's actually running at you at full speeds, it's actually terrifying when you're not expecting it)

He then proceeds to lift you up, and twirl you around, doesn't matter where you too are.

Catches you in a match? Picks you up, twirls you in the air, then proceeds to give you little kisses as he sets you down, and gives you a full minute head start.

Not like it matters anyways, he goes the complete opposite direction when hes finished counting.

If he hears you giggling with that adorable voice of yours that he loves oh so dearly? No he doesn't. He doesn't know what you're talking about. (He'll 100% pull the "old man hearing loss" card if he gets caught showing you favoritism. Safe to say, it happens a lot.)

After matches are done and over with, you too often spend the rest of the day together. (Joseph doesn't mind in the slightest what the two of you do, as long as he's with you and your precious smile.)

Speaking of, whenever you look up and smile at him, he can feel his unbeaten heart pulse once more. (Perhaps it's because whenever he sees it, he us reminded that your joy and care for him never fades. Joseph hasn't had that since Claude. It's such a sad thought, yet it brings him happiness to see that there's still a chance for him.

After the day has ended and everyone is in bed, the two of you stay up, giggling about things that don't matter. (It's incredibly loud, and the two of our wake up many of the residents of the manor often. But the two of you never know. The laughter is filled with such joy and contentment that those who were about to knock on your door simply smile and leave the two of you alone. That doesn't mean they arent grumpy in the morning though.

But its when you're asleep that Joseph's love for you truly shows.

Joseph will slowly grab his camera, as to not wake you, and he will simply take a photo.

Joseph only takes photos of the things he loves. Things he wants to keep with him forever. His photo may not hold the same warmth as you do, in fact, Joseph regards it as a foolish imitation that doesn't even come close to you.

But its a start.

Joseph will open his bedside drawer, and place the photo inside, along with albums upon albums of photos of you, simply living your life. With your darling smile, your bright eyes and pastel clothes, with your everlasting happiness and light...

But he closes the drawer. And he takes your sleeping form closer to him.

Because that's where he wants you most. You're a breath of fresh air in a dreary manor, and lord knows Joseph has had his fill of those.

But as long as you still shine so bright, he supposes he could live in such a manor once again.

So Joseph cuddles against you closer, and pets your head as he falls into slumber with you.

[peggingmegamind]

Will Solace Headcanons

That kid is a server I just know it. He works at like a breakfast diner and he’s got his regulars and everyone loves him

Sometimes he gets hit on at work but he is very bad at picking up on it so he’s just like “score! Very nice table with great tip!”

Look me in the eyes and tell me this kid doesn’t play stardew valley

You can’t! It’s canon! Rick told me himself :-)

He romances Sebastian or Maru! N his favorite task is (predictably) farming n foraging!

He’s best friends w Penny in the game

He’s trying to get all of his siblings to play and have a commune together

This kid has some FUCKED ip interests

Like yeah nico has darker interests but that’s more matter of circumstance; whereas wills interest in the macabre is just. How he is

Go over to his house he’s got a tooth jar and dozens of wet specimens and antique quack medical supplies

He’s got little “disturbing” hobbies like he enjoys taxidermy so he dresses the animal himself n has a bucket in his backyard to decompose the muscle off the bones to keep them

*nico entering the Apollo cabin to find will hunched over his desk pinning the tanned hide onto a form*

He also does not think anything of the fact that people may find this off putting so you ask him about his hobbies and he launches into a new opossum specimen that he’s working on like he’s talking about quilting

His mom is a recovering alcoholic

They had a rough relationship for awhile because she put a lot of responsibility on him at way too young an age but since she’s started recovery they are on much better terms

He stays at camp year round due to how powerful his healing powers are bc they attract a lot of monsters n because it’s easier to heal his relationship with his mom when they aren’t constantly around each other

He’s in Al-anon n he’s getting better ab not blaming himself for everything that’s going wrong with people but it is a Work In Progress

He’s fantastic with the elderly

Like he as a rule lives by “respecting his elders”, saying his ma’am’s n sirs but he used to volunteer at a retirement home n he’s close with his grandparents so all of the older ladies he meets think he’s ‘a very strapping young man!’ And he can hold his own in a billiard game with 70+ men

Him n Hazel were a little awkward around each other at first but one time she mentioned a radio show she listened to as a kid off handedly and he was like “oh god! I loved that show! Do you remember when ~~~” and after that it’s a match made in heaven

His moms family is HUGE he’s got so many aunts n uncles and cousins and he’s not 100% sure how half of these people are related to him but they show up at family reunions so at this point it would be weird to ask

Nico meets his family one day and Will is introducing him to everyone and Nico is like “…how are you related to these people?” And Will is like “I have no idea! So anyways this is my Nana!”

At camp he used to have to be the Dentist as well and He Hated It

He can deal with the trials of being the “general practitioner/surgeon/satyr obgyn” but he Cannot Handle Being Bitten

He was very grateful when he got a sibling who was enthusiastic about being camp dentist

[jodilin65]

FRIDAY, JUNE 30, 2023 I was up for-fucking-ever yesterday which is the price I have to pay for having more energy. So today I’m really tired as the long days have caught up to me and I slept shitty the last time around. No matter what your thyroid is like, if you keep staying up a long time and don’t sleep well, you’re gonna be tired. So I’m not going to be doing as much as I’d like to tonight. I wanted to get back to painting, but I’m just too tired. I just reached my daily work quota, ran the dishes, played with a rat, and now I’m taking it easy for the rest of the night. I don’t even know if I’m going to hit the road.

I swear it’s like something wants me tired and because there aren’t as many outside sources here to wake me up with, it’s using my own damn body. When it saw I was getting more energy from extending my waiting time after meds, it made up for it by having me up too long, knowing that would eventually tire me out. I love storms but it’s times like this that I’m glad it’s pretty dry here. I should be able to catch up before the next wave of storms hits.

THURSDAY, JUNE 29, 2023 Tom turned 66 yesterday!

It hit me that the only reason I may have seen my private tweets on my blog was because I was logged into the account. Sometime I’ll log out and see if they still show up.

Tinkerbella is running around the bedroom while I write. I don’t know if Tom didn’t watch the door properly or if she accidentally bumped the latch but she got loose earlier. As soon as she got out, she came looking for me in the bedroom which I was in at the time. Lol.

Going to be having some things coming from both Walmart and Temu. I’m getting a new plush mattress pad. This one is a couple of years old, and they do go flat and get knots in them after a while as the cotton in it settles.

Ordered some pink embroidery floss for beading. A little over a decade ago, when we were living in Auburn, I got a bracelet with beautiful shiny colorful mirrored beads. Over time, the elastic dried out and cracked so I’m going to restring them into a necklace.

Got another cookie sheet similar to my small one for when I’m baking two different things and want them to fit in the oven easier. Besides, the smaller tin cookie sheet is much easier to handle than the big bulky one with the rack.

I also found a small pink dustpan for Tink’s cage and a half-round low-profile mat for inside the door. This one should be similar to the one we have outdoors. It should fit in that area nicely, without my office chair getting stuck on it, or the robot vac, after he takes a heat gun to kill the adhesive holding down the old frayed mat.

The satin sheets have really pilled quite badly, but I still love the feel of satiny sheets, so I’m going to get a couple of sets on Temu even though they don’t last long. You can get a set for the same cost as just a fitted sheet on Amazon. I’m getting pale pink and rosy pink.

I’m also going to get a variety of eyeshadow sticks and glitter temperature-changing lipstick.

We talked about how cool it would be to have a drone and fly it in the field in back but it’s illegal in this state. Temu has these cheap little cameras that are battery-operated, and who says we couldn’t stick one on the end of a little kite? Even if that didn’t work out, they would still be fun to experiment with.

I made a couple of picture blogs. On my main account will be a blog with a random picture of us that I scheduled to post every year until 2090. Then just for kicks, I have one scheduled for 100 years from now, 250 years, 500 years, and 1000 years. Then I created a blog on my other account with pics of my different nail designs. I doubt humans will survive long enough to see them all, but I just thought it would be something interesting and fun to do.

TUESDAY, JUNE 27, 2023 Slept a little bit better but if the 10-cast is right, then I’m not gonna get much sleep after the 4th. We’ve got another wave of storms coming through and of course, my schedule will happen to be all wrong for it.

Andy sent me a “glamor” shot of him wearing his CPAP mask, LOL. His covers his mouth and nose. I just hope to hell I can get used to sleeping with something like that if I do need it. I have a little fatigue today, but it’s not horribly bad. My thyroid definitely has a hand in the fatigue as well. No doubt about it. Again, I was snoring loudly, too.

Ran out to Publix again because I forgot to get yogurt. We grabbed a few other things too.

Saw something weird on the way there. An armored truck with Indiana plates swerving about. They almost ran a red light, and then they didn’t go as soon as it turned green. Stolen or something? Well, if it was, the cop that went by on the cross street didn’t know it.

I was reading an article on medical gaslighting and how unfortunately common it is. One woman was telling her story about being bloated and feeling like something was wrong in her lower stomach. All her complaints to doctors were blamed on poor diet and “just being anxious.” Sound familiar? It sure does to me. Anyway, it turned out to be cancer.

Sometimes I wonder if I should stay connected to Doc A. For one, she wasn’t the greatest doctor. After all, she too wrote my side effects off as anxiety (although she did admit that some of it could be on menopause) and tried to deny that anxiety was even a side effect of levothyroxine.

Secondly, if I hadn’t been the one to figure out that my foot cramps were coming from the statins had there not been an Internet to look that up on, how much worse might it have gotten had I continued taking them with her telling me it was probably caused by something else?

Lastly, I never hear from her. The only time I ever did was when I asked her a question on one of her posts. She never comments or reacts to any of my stuff or replies to my messages. I get that she’s a very busy person, but why add me then?

On the other hand, there’s something gratifying about being connected to her, so I don’t want to let her go at this time.

I dreamed we moved into a fairly large house with two stories. I was gazing around the neighborhood from our place, which was on a corner. The houses were big but close-set. I could tell the next day was going to be a bulk pickup because people had tons of old furniture and appliances out.

After I was done checking out the area and hoping the garbage trucks wouldn’t wake me up the following day, I walked up this strange ramp to the upper floor and into a large window-like thing. The ramp was made of a strange mix of foam and canvas. I could feel it give a little under my weight and wondered how it could support Tom.

MONDAY, JUNE 26, 2023 I removed my Twitter feed from this blog because it was showing private tweets.

I’m a little tired today because I woke up too soon. Not too tired to go to Publix, though. I grabbed some fruits and veggies, and he got some ice cream.

Before that, he had his doctor’s appointment. The doctor was weird because he was sipping coffee during the appointment, coughing a lot, and didn’t even listen to his heart. Isn’t that supposed to be part of the standard check-up?

When Tom told him he has trouble walking outdoors because it’s hard for him to get used to the humidity, the doctor said there was only one thing in the world you don’t get used to and that’s being poor. LOL. I think the reason I don’t mind the humidity as much as most is because it’s what I grew up in. It’s the prolonged exposure to direct sunlight and heat that gets to me after a while.

He’ll have to go for blood work and a chest x-ray. If he qualifies, he will be put on the medication for pre-diabetes that is supposed to help with weight loss as well. The thing is, it’s not something he would take for life. They would likely pull him off of it if his numbers got low enough.

They also referred him to a dermatologist. They didn’t even have liquid nitrogen available there.

Then the poor guy sprung the bleeder from hell when he got home. He was rearranging the lanai in preparation for moving the treadmill out there so I could move the skier to where it was in the living room and have more space for games that require more than a stationary guardian. Then he can have his chair back too since the skier has been sitting right in front of it. He picked up the little wicker table they left here with the heavy seashells on it. One of them went crashing down onto his foot. I’m guessing it hit a vein. He bled all over the floor and needed a large band-aid. After we got him settled, I told him to look on the bright side…we’re going to get the money’s worth out of our carpet cleaner after all.

We’re trying out Meta+ for just a dollar this month. If we like it, then for $8 a month, we can get two free games a month. You don’t get to keep them if you cancel but if you restart your subscription, they’ll be available again. One of the games we got is based on an old game from 1995 and I’m not sure how the hell it works yet. The other game is called Pistol Whip, and it’s ok.

SUNDAY, JUNE 25, 2023 Ugh, over a week away until the 4th, and already the fireworks are starting. It still surprises me being in a small town with so many old people.

For the last couple of days, I’ve had more energy. Enough to go to the pool which was too crowded. The new addition doesn’t help. I guess that’s why they’re going to be building another pool. A couple of preteen kids were there, and while they were mostly civilized, there were just too many people to be able to swim up and down the pool comfortably.

So it’s looking like yes, the waiting time does have something to do with my energy levels. Before, I wasn’t quite sure. I may still have sleep apnea, though. This morning I was snoring so damn loud for some reason that I woke myself up even over the sound machine. As I said, if something up there doesn’t have outside sources to use to curse my sleep with, it uses my own damn body. Next time it will probably be a nightmare.

The question is how the hell to find the balance between good energy and normal numbers without anxiety and insomnia?

Interesting how a TSH of 32 doesn’t make me damn near comatose when I was first diagnosed in 2014 but now a TSH of 9 does. We definitely can’t handle things as well as we could when we were younger. It truly sends chills down my spine to think of having this disease back in October of 2000. If it took me over a month to get a lousy inhaler, I’d hate to think of how long it would have taken to get my thyroid med. They would have easily let me slip into a coma, or maybe even have a heart attack. There’s literally no way I could go that long without this medication. Not at this point. That six-month sentence would have been a death sentence. If not, I certainly would have ended up in the hospital. Of course, they would have gotten away with it too.

Do I think we’ll ever find the right balance in present times? No, I don’t. After all this time of hopelessly trying, I realize more and more that it’s just not meant to be. It’s like trying to make a tall person short or a gay person straight. Even with my hormones now settled down, I’m still super sensitive to this medication. The only difference between now and then is that it’s not as severe because I know what to do about it as soon as I start feeling symptoms.

I know some people would like it if I wrote on PB full-time, but the more time that goes by, the less I care for it. It’s so full of spam that sometimes the entire front page is taken over by it. A notice was posted about measures they plan to take to try to combat the problem but they’ve been talking about this for quite a while now. Blogger is my number one preferred platform for writing because it’s the most secure and should be around forever. I also like the versatility that comes with it. I’ll still check in on PB every now and then.

The rat has been so much fun. She’s got an endless amount of energy. She’s very playful and affectionate and loves exploring. She was really agitated and restless and from what we read, it suggests she was in heat which they’re in every 4 to 5 days but she’ll eventually get used to it. Tinkerbell wasn’t like this but by the time we got her, she was a little older.

Tom set up some things in her playpen for her to explore. She was having fun exploring all the interesting boxes he set up but as soon as I walked up to the pen, she ran over to be picked up. So cute!

I heard her squealing the other night and ran over to find she got her tail caught in part of the bars of the cage. Fortunately, that hasn’t happened again, but if it does, we’re going to have to get a different cage.

Looking at my DNA relatives on 23andMe got my cousins on my mind. So for the first time in about a decade, I looked in on my first cousins, Lori and Lisa. June has an account too but there wasn’t much to see.

Lori’s aged well and Lisa is a total shocker. How can one be big into their early 20s (when I last saw/talked to them) and then be anorexically thin later in life when most of us pack on the weight? Usually, if you grow up on the heavy side and stay that way into your 20s, that’s a sign that it’s in your nature to be that way. She was thin when I looked in on her a decade ago but when I say she’s thin, I mean really thin. Almost too thin. Her biceps are skinny little twigs and her clavicle bones show. Weight loss surgery? A disease? An eating disorder? My first thought was an eating disorder but this late in life? My next guess is weight loss surgery but could it be this effective for this long? If it was a disease, why isn’t there treatment for it? I would definitely like to know what her trick is, although as long as I’m low on thyroid, there isn’t much that’s going to help me.

Just for kicks, I slapped my blog link on Lori’s wall since she was the only one that allowed anyone to comment, then removed it after a couple of days. There was no response, and no blog visit (unless she’s a hider) but I’m not surprised. I think in her mind no reaction is worth not removing it or checking the link out. There’s always a possibility that she hasn’t been on Facebook over the weekend and doesn’t even know who the hell I am since she wouldn’t know my married name. Maybe she thought it was just spam. Either way, it doesn’t matter.

No hard feelings at this point but we’re virtual strangers. We’ve had no contact since the late 80s. Besides, if you can’t forgive someone for a few pranks and reaching out to them in a scary situation, then you’re no one I want to associate with. I mean, come on. This was over 30 years ago. But again, we're virtual strangers, so I can’t say what she thinks and what she feels and it doesn’t matter anyway. Sure, I’m sometimes curious by nature because I’m a naturally curious person but in the end, she’s a stranger as is the rest of her family. I did have my maiden name visible for quite some time and any number of people could have looked me up and reached out to me if they’d cared to. Also, if Lori or her sister had a problem with me, they could have come to me about it.

Part of her problem may have been connected to the inheritance we received from our grandparents - not that I had any control over that - and my hatred for her father who was such a mean bastard. Had I been then like I am now…

FRIDAY, JUNE 23, 2023 Got a reply to my weekly email from Kim in just a few hours, as usual. We have a game we play where we make up goofy titles and there’s always food in hers, not surprisingly, the little pig. I think she would literally eat herself to death if it was up to her. I don’t think she would realize the consequences or even care. Pretty sure her ultimate dream life would be to impersonate celebrities online and swoon over the attention it would bring while she stuffed the shit out of herself. I’m just surprised her family let her get over 300 lbs even if she eventually lost 100 of it. Again, this is someone with the mind of a five-year-old.

Ah, to have such simple dreams, be healthy almost all the time, sleep like a log, and be a kid forever so I could always see the world through a child’s eyes!

Linda brought me my nail stickers yesterday but didn’t stay. She was all worn out from physical therapy.

Before that, we ran out to Publix and I jogged a little bit through the store trying to catch him after we split up for a bit and that damn near wiped me out. It left me so tired, and my HR was a little elevated as well. Again, I really hope this is just a matter of sleep apnea and nothing else.

As usual, I woke up tired today and ended up napping for a bit. This is getting to be fucking ridiculous and quite worrisome. I’m trying not to dwell on it much and drive myself crazy with worry, but it’s hard. Especially since my appointment is still over a month away. Hopefully, some of it is caused by the elevated TSH, and extending my waiting time and increasing my med a bit will help.

Tom has this thing called a TENS that you stick to the part of your body that has muscle, tendon, or ligament aches and it zaps the area. It’s similar to how the tummy zapper we had 25 or so years ago worked. It alternates between pulsing and steady vibes. I’m not sure it helped much, but we both have issues with our left shoulders. His is because he was stupid as a kid like most of us are, and he pulled it out of the socket a lot. I’m not sure what mine is from. Maybe an injury or just arthritis.

23andMe has this thing now where you can see your ancestors from all over the world even if you only share barely a percent of DNA. Most of my relatives are in the US of course, but I was surprised to find that next up was Poland. I really thought Russia and Austria would be second and third since my grandfathers were from those countries. Russia is third, but Austria is further down the list. Even Germany is above Austria. I recognized some of the names, but some I didn’t.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 21, 2023 Talk about a shitty day so far! Really thought my TSH would be 6-7. instead, it’s at 9. I wanted to scream when I saw that. So maybe it really is a progressive disease and it’s continuing to die off because I haven’t gained weight recently. My T4 is still the same as it was when my TSH was at 7. It’s at 1.3.

A Galileo doc wanted to do a video chat with me so she and I chatted for a few minutes. Since I’ve been feeling OK lately emotionally, we agreed that I would try taking 75s twice a week every other week and once a week every other week. The rest of the time will be 88s. She said I should try waiting an hour before food and drink instead of a half hour which I’ve been doing a lot of the time lately. In six weeks, I go back to the lab.

My endo appointment can’t come fast enough! Of course, neither can the pulmonology appointment. I’m still battling fatigue big time. Tom and I both agree that it’s likely that most of that is on sleep apnea and not thyroid.

Anyway, the doctor said that maybe there would be a different brand I could take or something like that but I have my doubts. I swear it’s like something wants me fat and tired. I would have to see the endo be of help to believe it. The last two didn’t help but I do understand that times change so maybe there’s something new I don’t know about.

Yesterday, at the end of my day, I took a hit off my inhaler because my lungs were a little tight and that perked me up. Tried that again today even though I wasn’t tight, and it didn’t help. I’m still pretty out of it. In fact, Linda is going to bring me the Color Street nail stickers I claimed from her online inventory tomorrow afternoon since I barely have any energy to walk the short distance to her house. This is pretty ridiculous. At least my nails will look good. I claimed Soho Ver It and Snake My Day.

Tom took a life expectancy survey, and it told him that he would live 18 more years and that the last four years of his life wouldn’t be healthy. Sometimes I wonder if it would tell me I’ve only got 10 years or less to live in all of it will be unhealthy. Really, I’m so exhausted that it’s a struggle just to do this entry. I didn’t wake up due to thunder, but I woke up a million times anyway. It’s been stormy for most of the day with rain and some thunder mixed in.

I feel so horrible for those trapped in the missing submersible. It makes me doubt the existence of God even more. If there is one, what kind of God would say to the thousands of people who have prayed for their recovery, “Nah, I’m going to let ‘em all suffocate to death instead.”

Oh, wait a minute. He’s supposed to have his “reasons” for everything, right?

In happier news, Tinkerbella is a totally awesome rat. Best we’ve had since Tinkerbell! She’s intelligent, playful, affectionate, doesn’t grab food roughly, and doesn’t pee all over like male rats do to mark their territory. She’s truly great all around.

Had a dream that I was stuck in this private school or prison of some kind that was totally weird. I didn’t know Tom in the dream. They expected to sleep 8 women per one full-size bed. They had our names along the headboard. I was assigned to a spot on the end and while I was glad to be on the end, I knew I was going to be pushed off with so many people in the bed.

Then I realized it was late in my day, and I told one of the staff members I was going to start unwinding.

“No, you’re not,” she said.

“Yes, I am,” I said back sternly, not willing to be bossed around.

Then I was trying to have a video chat with my dad who was alive and seemed upset with me for something.

TUESDAY, JUNE 20, 2023 Florida, I love you. I really do. But you need to keep your skies quieter when I'm sleeping. Yeah, I'm feeling as shitty as I did a couple of days ago. Talk about bipolar energy levels! Again storms broke up my sleep and again I'm wondering how I'm going to survive storm season. It's not even July yet! My sleep is almost certainly doomed tonight as well. While it would be a lot easier on me if I could sleep from around midnight to 6:00 like most people, nobody's going to get much sleep tonight. I really, really wish we could get the bedroom soundproofed! At least we shouldn’t have to worry about Hurricane Bret. We decided that if we get evacuated again and are able to head north, we’re going to go up to Ocala.

For tonight, I’m going to take hydroxyzine before bed, turn the sound machine up louder, and throw an ear plug in my good ear.

Yesterday, I had more energy and was pretty productive even though the energy didn't last all day. It was still a good day. First I went to the lab for a blood draw. I'm expecting the results anytime now.

When we got back we played with Tink and played golf and then I hit the road and finished his birthday present. I’ve got 660 miles left to go of my trip but there’s no way I’m going to have the energy to ride today.

We also did some health work (as usual) by filling out forms for the PC he’ll be seeing soon and the pulmonologist I’ll see not soon enough.

In 1962 or so, before I was even born and when Tom was only about 5 years old, he was hospitalized for weeks. He had a sinus infection that spread and they said it changed his entire personality. I guess he was outgoing and sociable until then. When he was older they told him his best friend at the time came over to play and he insisted they weren't friends and he didn't want to play with him.

I also met with Helen and sometimes I still wonder if I'm throwing our money away or if she's really helping. I sometimes feel like it's hard for her to accept that we're on opposite sides of the coin when it comes to women's rights, God, etc. I like her but we definitely have different views on some things. If I'd known better (and I should have), I would have tried to seek out a non-Christian therapist if there is such a thing in this state. Sometimes I feel like I'm the only liberal, non-religious person in the state who isn’t sure there’s a God.

In some ways, she's kind of hypocritical because in one breath she talks about free will and how her God gives us choices, but then in the next, she’s heavily implying that she doesn't think women should have a choice when it comes to their own bodies.

Anyway, it was kind of funny when we were discussing my bio mom and how women had kids back in the '60s even if they didn't want them because that's what you did back then. Then, as far as abortion goes, Helen said it was a good thing she didn't have that option.

Actually, I’ve spent a good deal of my life wishing she’d lost or gotten rid of me and I also know how my mother was. If she wanted something bad enough, she found a way to get it. Just like with those of today who can't get a hold of an abortion pill or have one done in a clinic, where there's a will, there's a way to end a pregnancy if you really don't want it. My mother would have gotten rid of me had she wanted to.

“But who gets to decide who lives and who dies?” Helen asked me.

Yet I still don't believe for a minute that a fetus has any sense of awareness, especially in the first trimester.

She also told me that studies have shown that what you tell yourself, you believe, but I’m not sure I believe we humans are that easy to brainwash. If I told myself I was rich, I’m not going to believe it. Maybe it might help some people when it comes to little white lies, like telling yourself some magical God or guardian angel is looking down on you that’s protecting you, even if that may not be true and has never been scientifically proven.

SUNDAY, JUNE 18, 2023 What a horrible night! Tons of loud thunder all night long. As if being woken up half a dozen times by thunder wasn’t bad enough, I had to have a nightmare on top of it. I woke up boxing some guy to death who wanted to kill me and a young woman I was with. The woman and I were in the guy's house. I’m not sure why we were there, but the guy was about average height and weight and when the woman logged food she was eating on a piece of paper, I pointed out that there were food-logging apps that were convenient. The way she looked at me suggested the guy wouldn’t let her near a phone.

Curious to see how he would react as he busily went about preparing food in the kitchen, I mentioned grabbing my phone to let my husband know where I was. Sure enough, he started to protest in a way that told me he planned to enslave us. I went into an instant rage and shouted at him as I stomped toward him, “You don't tell me what to do with my stuff!”

Then I started punching him about the face and head either killing him or knocking him unconscious.

The storms caused me to sleep a little longer and I even ended up napping for over an hour. I just got up for good and I’m sipping my coffee. Still pretty damn tired too. Tom went back to sleep. He woke up at 3 and couldn’t get back to sleep right away. I’m back to worrying about how I’m gonna survive July and August and wishing to hell we had money to have the bedroom properly soundproofed. I’m sick of not being able to do all the upgrades we want to do in every fucking place we moved to!

Did I mention that I have to go to the lab tomorrow morning? I think I added that in one of my blogs but anyway, yeah, gotta go for a TSH draw and then I meet with Helen at 9. Damn, do I hope my TSH isn’t worse than last time! It shouldn’t be. On this dose, I expect a 6 or 7 and that’s pretty much what the scale says.

Since I’m not sure that I can get her hammocks to last for several months, I spotted a good deal on a 10-pack of double-layered hammocks like what she has and grabbed them because I think I’m going to have to change them every month or so with the way she chews on them. They get pretty smelly after a while too, but I’m afraid to wash them for fear of them falling apart because of the way she chews on them.

I was reading about someone who plans to do a paid search on someone, but not even I find myself that curious. I guess to me, it’s like crossing a line into obsession. I can totally see if you do it for a potential lover, roommate, or employee but if you’re paying just to see what you can dig up, you’re no longer curious. You’re obsessed.

SATURDAY, JUNE 17, 2023 I can't seem to stop changing background pictures here. It’s just so much fun playing with all the different designs. LOL.

I have the volume on the camera now and the wind chimes are right near the camera, so I can hear the tinkle of the wind chimes in here. And it’s so nice. If the radar knows half of what it’s saying, we’re going to get slammed all day today. We got a nice storm yesterday too. We’re getting to that time when they should be pretty much every day for a couple of months.

Sinkholes are common in Florida, and I guess they’re investigating one that may open up in the back of the park. They’ve got the road closed. It’s a good thing it’s not near us!

Each day I love this little rat more and more. I would be devastated and totally in tears if she was suddenly gone. Her little pink playpen arrived yesterday and it was so cute how she climbed all over me and around the playpen as I sat inside it with her. Then I stood up and stepped outside of it when she was on the opposite side. I called her over to me and she came right to me.

You really do want to get rats as young as possible. I think the reason we had some that just weren’t all that great was that they were older and it was too late to train them. Because rats are smart, they can be taught somewhat but not like when they’re babies. We’ve also mostly had males in the past, and the females are definitely quicker to catch on.

I’m tired today as usual. I slept for six hours, got a sleep score of 78 which is very low for me, and had huge spikes in oxygen.

Going to the lab on Monday morning.

FRIDAY, JUNE 16, 2023 Ugh, I'm horribly, horribly tired, even though I slept over 7 hours and got a decent sleep score. This time, there was only one little spike of orange too, on the oxygen chart. This is so frustrating and very worrisome too. It’s like when I first noticed I was unable to lose weight where I certainly don’t want anything to be wrong, but if they don’t find anything that could be causing this, I would be so frustrated! I ate shitty stuff yesterday which could be part of why I’m really bad today, but I still think that for the most part, this doesn’t have anything to do with lifestyle, emotions, or thyroid. I’m thinking sleep apnea or heart.

I thought of how Tom said he couldn’t believe the doctors wouldn’t notice if anything was wrong with my heart. But they weren’t testing for that. EKGs don’t always tell it all. They wouldn’t notice that I’ve got Hashimoto’s either. Something’s definitely wrong. I just hope they can find it and that I can stand whatever it takes to treat it.

I still fear I’m doomed to suffer from one thing or another for the rest of my life. I hope I’m wrong, even though I haven’t gotten a break in about a decade!

Early yesterday morning, we had torrential rains for about 10 minutes. There was some thunder but nothing that would have woken me up if I’d been asleep.

Went to Denny’s shortly before 6:00 AM and I got the best chicken strips ever. They were really good. I had French fries and onion rings along with it. So a nice treat albeit not very healthy. He got his usual ham and cheese omelet.

Came home and golfed, and then I went to Denmark. I was too tired to get close to Sweden, but maybe in a day or two, if I can ever wake the hell up. I’m gonna have to nap after I eat a little. How can I have insomnia at the same time I have fatigue??? I thought I would crash earlier yesterday, but I didn’t. I was up for 18 or 19 hours.

Had so much fun playing with Tinkerbella yesterday. The first few days we had her, I wasn’t sure if I’d made a mistake. The next few days, I would have been a little bummed out if she was suddenly gone. Now I’d be heartbroken. She's greased lightning as they usually are as babies. She was jumping and running all over me as I lay on the bed with her and was running all over the bed as well. She’s definitely getting way more curious about the world around her.

THURSDAY, JUNE 15, 2023 Happy 29th anniversary to us! Oh, and be careful what you wish for. The other day, I was missing having rats that liked me enough to be a pest and today I got what I wished for and missed. It’s definitely not all about food anymore. I had given her plenty yet she was still climbing all over me for attention while my own food that just finished cooking was getting colder, haha. She’s definitely getting curious to explore her surroundings. It’s so adorable how she leaps onto my shoulder when I open her cage door. She was trying to pull me into the cage too, LOL, tugging on my shirt. I just wish she didn’t bite as much, playful or not, but rats do that at times.

She’s grown in the two weeks she’s been here. It will be interesting to see if her fur remains silky soft like Tinkerbell’s did. Males do tend to have coarser fur, so we’ll see.

Speaking of Tinkerbell, it’s interesting that Tinkerbella changes for the better after I pleaded to Tinkerbell in my mind to please let go of her jealousy. I told her, if you somehow go on and it’s true that you’re jealous of any future rats and fear them taking your place, there’s no chance of that. You were my queen and you always will be. But please don’t be negatively affecting future rats. Please let them be as fun and loving as you were, even though none can ever replace you.

Then two days later, Tinkerbella is all over me instead of running away. Coincidence? Sure makes me wonder!

I’m beginning to wonder if I’m ever gonna be able to go a day in my life without hearing about Trump and seeing that ugly face online, along with DeSantis and racism. The support for him isn’t just disgusting, it’s downright frightening. How many people do you have to be accused of raping and how many derogatory comments do you have to make regarding women, let alone have a hand in stripping their rights before you start losing supporters? Seriously, how much deceit, dishonesty, and blatant lies does one need to tell before they lose support? What if he had succeeded in having the government overthrown and we’d been cast into a dictator country? Would people still support him then?

Anyway, even though I’m as tired as I usually am, we’re gonna be going to Denny’s early this morning. I usually get steak and eggs but I think I’ll get the chicken tenders this time if not salmon. Tom doesn’t enjoy eating out, so that’s why we’re not going to Red Lobster. Denny’s is our compromise. I’m going to lie down and see if I can nap a bit for now.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 14, 2023 Major breakthrough with training Tinkerbella. Rats aren’t as vocal as people think so she knows she can “call” me by running around the cage and I’ll hear it rattling. I put her in the carrier and took her into his bathroom. I sat with my back against the wall and placed her carrier next to me. Just like with Tinkerbell, I could see the excitement, curiosity, and affection in her eyes. She came out and climbed on me, and then climbed back down. But instead of going the other way and exploring, she turned around and climbed back up on me all the way up to my shoulder. It was so cute. Jessie said she wants a rat named Remi because that was the name of the rat in Ratatouille.

So running around the house at some point… I don’t know. But she can definitely do bathroom time.

I slept horribly, waking up hot and sometimes cold. I managed to nap for an hour after I got up. I’m gonna hit the shower and hit the road soon. When I got to the German border, everything froze and I thought, this is it. End of trip. But then it jumped me to Hamburg. Since only the big cities have Google Street View there, I’m guessing I won’t be able to go straight to Denmark. As of now, I’m 60% through the trip whereas I was 45% at the border. I went from having 1100 miles left to go to 850 miles. My rank is now 190.

Yesterday I felt a bit short of breath and wasn’t sure if it was anxiety I was also feeling or what. I felt the sensation of my heart racing, even though it wasn’t according to Fitbit. It was just beating a little hard. My first thought was that I was overdoing it on the road because I was on for almost two hours yesterday. Then I noticed my weight was down a bit, and my first thought was that all the exercise was finally having an effect on me but then I realized it wouldn’t do that in just a few hours. It then hit me that I was getting carried away with the poison again. When I feel calmer, I take one 75 during the week instead of two. Knowing it would only get worse and is probably why I’m having insomnia and trouble staying asleep as well as feeling warmer, I’ll make sure to take two 75s this week. No way I’m gonna push it when I know damn well what will happen.

I had a dream I was sitting at a table with Shannan from my old dentist’s office in California. She got so pissed when I brought up the subject of my weight that she left the room, LOL.

Then I had a dream we just moved out of the Phoenix house, but not before a single guy moved in next door. I was telling Tom the only reason a quiet, single guy moved in over there was that we were moving and that if we weren’t moving anytime soon, we would have gotten stuck with a nightmare with our shit luck. As I lay in bed wherever the new place was, I was glad not to have a driveway running alongside the bedroom. Yeah, I don’t miss those days for real.

Heading out to Publix early in the morning and to pick up his new glasses.

MONDAY, JUNE 12, 2023 Since my (friend?) recommended Harry Potter books and movies, I decided to at least check out what they’re about. I see it’s in the fantasy genre. Not my cup of tea but I can see where it would be great stuff for those who are into that sort of thing despite hearing some negative things about the author.

It’s funny because I was recently remembering the doll we sold at the end of the recession. I’ve collected dolls on and off since 1998, and Robert Tonner is a company that sells 16” vinyl fashion dolls. There are a few that are a little shorter and taller. Sometimes they’re made-up characters, but other times they're characters from movies. I had the Hermione doll and was vaguely aware of who she was, but bought her because I liked the doll and the purple ruffled dress she wore. In 2011 or 2012 I decided to sell some dolls and we sold her on eBay for a whopping $450! We thought that was a typo or some kind of error at first.

Limiting my meat to fish only has been easier said than done. I got some pecan-smoked chicken because not only do I like it and crave variety every now and then, but Tinkerbella loves chewing on the bones.

I had a dream about a rat I really loved and I wish I could say that about this one but she’s continuing to be timid. She’s only interested in us when she wants food. She’ll play with us at times but she’s one of those rats that would prefer not to be handled, unfortunately. I swear Tinkerbell put a spell on our future rats! She was queen and she knew it and she was determined to keep it that way even long after her sad demise.

Speaking of sad demises, I still miss the hell out of Aly and having a close friend that was also into writing and that was so damn intelligent. She was 15 years younger and so many times I was like, wow, I didn’t know that at her age, and I’m considered pretty smart myself. But she was even smarter and I enjoyed learning from her instead of being the one to teach others this and that. We never noticed our age difference and we seemed to balance each other out having just as much in common as we didn’t. She was smart and serious whereas I was often silly and eccentric.

One of the things I really liked and that I found quite flattering was how interested she was in my ordinary life. Not only that but she really got me and she remembered things about me. One time, even though we didn’t put much value in these kinds of things, she was telling me about her yearly horoscope prediction for those born in 1981 as she was. I asked her what mine said, and she said she would look at 1965. I remember being happily amazed that she remembered my birth year and knew that some of my childhood friends would likely need to have me remind them what year I was born. It was nice to have someone other than Tom who understood me well and remembered things about me and to have a close female friend since many of my friends were male. I think that growing up with a lot of rejection and disinterested people around me is what made me come to appreciate this sort of thing even more.

It only became frustrating when I wasn’t able to learn as much about her as curious as I was. She was a little more private than me, but it wasn’t just that. Keeping journals about her life just wasn’t her thing. Occasionally she would share stuff about her life in posts but it was mostly stories. She was just one of those who liked to learn more about others rather than share stuff about herself. Erotica mostly, also not my genre, LOL. What people tell me about themselves is up to them but it was still nice to have someone I didn’t know all my life remember both big and little things about me. Can anyone who’s read my journal for more than a year tell me what month my birthday is WITHOUT looking it up?

Time to don my headset and head for the Netherlands tonight. I just may play Prime Music instead since the radio stations in the app are kind of limited. It just gets a little old having MC Hammer tell me I can’t touch this, you know? 😉

SUNDAY, JUNE 11, 2023 Journey to the Center of the Earth is the newest golf course. It's not the greatest, but it's pretty cool. I like the rise and fall of the water in the caves and how you have to wait for the water level to drop before you can hit the ball on some of the holes. Plus the crystal caves and huge glowing mushrooms.

It totally fucking figures that this state sees a huge jump in new residents over the last couple of years. Well, of course it did! I'm here so why wouldn't the population skyrocket? Why does everyone want to go where I want to go?

This rat may never like people in the way Tinkerbell, Blondie, Little Buddy, and Scuttles did but she's getting a little better. I took her in her little carrier and placed her on the bed and lay down next to it. She came out and climbed on me and around the bed a bit. She's faster than me, though, so I have to be careful not to lose her. She wouldn't be easy to get back at this point. I don't know that I’ll ever be able to trust her to have much freedom but maybe one of these nights I can let her run around loose in the bathroom or something and see how she does.

The last couple of days I've had decent energy and I'm starting to wonder if it's because I was skimping on my vitamins to make them last longer and save money. Seems a little too easy but anything is possible. I'll keep taking full doses and see what happens. I've been having watermelon too which they say is good for brain power and energy.

I had a dream Termite Tammy left a comment on my blog. I can't see her doing that at this point in life unless she believed she was being “provoked” somehow but I know how to ignore anyone I don't want to hear from.

Later…

10:10?! I couldn’t believe it when Alexa told me that was the time when I awoke from my nap. I hope that isn’t going to cause my schedule to jump too fast, and I still have storms to worry about interfering with my sleep between now and the end of next month too. I appreciate that I feel better since 5 hours isn’t enough sleep, but I was supposed to get up for the last time at around 8. Not after 10.

During the long nap, I dreamt we moved. The place was bigger but I’m not surprised since most places are. It seemed old and weird, though. There was an ugly giant black pot built into the middle of the kitchen. It was 3 or 4 feet in diameter and about 4 feet high. Tom was boiling a bunch of potatoes in it that seemed to float. When I came into the kitchen and found him doing this, I was like, “How the hell are we gonna get all that water out of there?” and he assured me there was a drain.

For the fourth day, not that I’m complaining, I’ve heard way fewer planes. I could get used to it too.

Fitbit has become a bit of a pain to log in to. So I’m thinking I’ll do what I did when Aly was alive and tweet a random nature or animal pic when I wake up. She used to like it when I did that so she knew when I would be around. I like to remember when I get up for scheduling appointments and just things in general. So I will have gotten up about 5 to 10 minutes before I tweet the pic since I first liked to use the bathroom and take my thyroid pill.

Tinkerbella now begs at her door when she sees me cooking. Too cute! She's getting a little playful, too. Rats will wrestle with your hand like kittens and puppies do.

FRIDAY, JUNE 9, 2023 I make 1-3 journal posts a day but I’ve seen some people journal like some people tweet, LOL. Tons of entries a day!

Had another fun day at the pool. The redneck and his girlfriend, Julie, were there. They brought Happy with them, which pool rule #4 states you’re not allowed to do but personally, if the dog isn’t noisy or dangerous, I don’t give a shit.

A couple of other ladies were with them. I think one’s name was Sandy and the other was Karen.

Anyway, as soon as we headed for the pool, I heard the redneck say, “That’s Jodi.” Julie was glad to meet me. Tom has already met the redneck. He used to stop by and chat with Tom when the yard was first sodded. They were all very nice but I can see why Happy is noisy at times. He’s way better than he was the first few months he was here so I guess it really was all about him being in a new place and not just how he is, but they were kind of encouraging him too. They made these funny sounds on their way out which encouraged Happy to bark a little and make this weird howling sound.

I was worried at first that they were all smoking since there was a guy sitting right outside of the pool smoking and that was annoying enough because it was drifting in my direction. Don’t ever buy into that crap about smoke following beauty! I’m not ugly but I’ve come to be very average-looking in my older age.

They left as soon as we got in the pool, and Tom suspected it was because they had the dog with them. He was so funny too, and said at least it was nice that I didn’t call him redneck. Haha. Then, when I was saying I didn’t care anymore if anyone I knew found my blog, I said, “What are they going to do? Come beat me up.”

He jokes and goes, “I would.” LOL

Funny how the people in the group are rude and the people at the pool are nice. It’s probably better that way though. You can’t punch anyone through a computer.

I’m in Belgium now heading for the Netherlands. I was discussing Google Street View in the VZ group, and yes, Germany restricts that for the most part. The question is, will I get stuck at the border like I got stuck at the Namibia border? Or will it jump me over to Denmark? We’ll find out in a few days.

I had a dream that my parents were alive and came to visit. Instead of each house having its own driveway, there was a big parking lot in which the houses surrounded. I saw a van driven by someone from the airport bring them and some others into the parking lot. I could see my dad was engaged in a discussion with someone sitting in back with him and Mom. As soon as the car stopped and the doors opened, I started to talk and my dad looked startled for a moment and then glanced at me as if he hadn’t realized they had stopped. A second later, they were in our place and Dad asked for a beer. I asked Mom if she wanted anything along the way and she said no.

THURSDAY, JUNE 8, 2023 Another day of horrible fatigue though I’m feeling good emotionally. We went to the pool not long after I got up yesterday. There was a couple there and a woman by herself and we all chatted with each other. Amazingly, I didn’t hear a single plane overhead the whole time. The second to last time the water was chilly but last time it was nice. I learned something from Irma the other day and that’s the location of the dogs I can hear off in the distance at night. I was surprised to learn they were coming from the subdivision in the opposite direction of where I thought they were coming from. I’m surprised because I don’t see how their owners can sleep through that or anyone close to them. That would be like trying to sleep with someone shouting outside your windows all night long. How does one do that? I’m also surprised that’s allowed either way. I thought in those kinds of subdivisions dogs had to be pets only. Makes me think it’s not a 55+ place but all ages since anything goes in the mainstream. Another reason to be glad I adamantly insist we don't live not only close to busy roads but the mainstream.

I expect to slam the Belgian border sometime tonight! My rank is now under 200. I’m 41% through the trip and have gone nearly 1000 miles.

At first I started to wonder if we made a mistake in getting the rat and I’m still not sure if she’ll be an outstanding rat of any kind, but she’s definitely getting braver and more curious. Very smart too, but female rats are usually smarter than males, anyway. She seems to catch on quicker than the guys did. Tinkerbell was this way too. As for how much she’s going to want to play with me and sit with me and all that remains to be seen. We got a little pet carrier that will be good for when we bomb that I also thought I’d put by my desk throughout the night so she can get used to me being close by. She sure is quite a beggar now. LOL.

I talked to Mrs. Twenties last night. She and Mr. Twenties miss us and say maybe they’ll visit someday. Not surprisingly, it’s now been over a year since they turned the water off there. As I said, everything changes for the better when we leave a place. rolls eyes I still don’t think it’s anywhere near as quiet as this place. It can’t be. Not in that location. I should just be glad that this place hasn’t gotten significantly worse in the almost two years we’ve been here. Still, don’t think it will stay like this forever, though.

Still in touch with Mitch, Christine, Irene, and Becky but rarely hear from Adonis and Eileen.

Doc A's birthday was yesterday. She’s about 45 now. That kind of explains the personality, LOL. She’s certainly not mean and abusive like my mother was but she tends to have a dry sense of humor and be more on the serious side.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 7, 2023 Wrote this on another site and thought I would share.

Family… My parents and one brother died in 2012. My one sister is alive but I don’t have anything to do with her or her bratty brood. My husband Tom isn’t in touch with his family either. His parents and one of his 4 siblings are deceased. My husband is my number one in life. He’s the only one who really gets me. He lets me be who I am and always supports me. He’s super smart and is 8.5 years older than me and I’m 57. Like many couples in our age group and younger, we opted out of kids in the end so we could be wonderfully selfishly free and adventurous, even if we were met with some disasters along the way.

Friends… I’m not a social butterfly so I don’t see many people in person. My closest friends don’t live near me and that would be Andy, a gay guy I’ve known all my life, and Jessica (Jessie), a childhood friend. There’s Kim, too. She was a nurse in the ER that I had the misfortune of visiting one day with an asthma attack in 1991.

Neighbors… I have a habit of assigning various neighbors, including family members, nicknames based on their appearance or habits, and yes, some of them aren’t very nice. While I have met some rude people where I live, my closest neighbors have been nice so far. I haven’t nicknamed all of my neighbors as sometimes nothing comes to me. But you’ll hear me sometimes mention Mr. No Poop (Al has an anti-poop sign in his yard), the redneck (Steve looks the part), Toni, the honker (comes down from Canada in the winter and has a truck with an audible honk when locked), Sue, Little Miss Be Happy (it’s all fluff and sunshine or nothing at all for her), and Ray, which I sometimes refer to as the Pillsbury man because he kind of reminds me of the Pillsbury Doughboy.

States… I was born and raised in Massachusetts and have also lived in Connecticut, Arizona, Oregon, California, and now Florida.

Religion/Spirituality/Politics… I consider myself liberal and when I say liberal that doesn’t mean opening our doors to thousands upon thousands of immigrants and letting them hog our resources. Nor does that mean giving billions of dollars to other countries. It basically means I’m pro-choice and support the GLBT+ community. Not sure that I believe in things like gods, devils, angels, the afterlife, reincarnation, or multi-universes. I don’t know what to believe. Seems like anything could be possible with some things being a little more or less likely. I don’t follow any organized religion because I believe religion is too structured and often narrow-minded. I do believe in psychics because I am one. No, it’s not a “gift.”

Hobbies… I have many! Languages, cooking, audiobooks, writing, watching shows and movies, diamond painting, acrylic painting, and VR. My top favorite thing to do in VR is use an exercise app that lets me ride through any street that Google Maps has street views of, and my husband and I also love to play miniature golf. I have a meditation app I like, too. I love the beauty of nature and often collect digital photos of nature and some animals as well.

Pets… We currently have a pet rat named Tinkerbella.

Health… Definitely not as good as I’d like it to be. My husband’s health is much better and for that, I am very grateful. He has high blood pressure, though, and I do too but I’m not treating it. I’m very sensitive to medication and prone to side effects. I’ve gone through hell with the thyroid medication I take due to Hashimoto's as it is and still need to be careful. I have high cholesterol but of course, I’m unable to tolerate statins. I was born with atresia in my left ear which means it’s deformed and I’m deaf on that side too. That’s okay, though. My good ear more than makes up for it. Other things I have include ADHD, TMJ, mostly controlled asthma and allergies, non-24-hour sleep cycle syndrome, and possible sleep apnea. I have horrible vision and soft tooth enamel which means I’ve had my share of dental issues. I recently had my gallbladder removed as well.

Appearance… I’m a green-eyed brunette going gray, but keep my hair dyed either dark brown or dark red. I’m short and fat but not OMG kind of fat.

Likes… Shiny/colorful things (especially pink, purple, and mint green), feminine things, dolls and figurines, palm trees, nail polish/stickers, non-salty/spicy foods, rodents, perfume/incense, peace and quiet, flying on planes, beaches, swimming, all kinds of music but mostly from the 70s & 80s, wine, rain, warm weather, good humor (sometimes dark), a clutter-free clean home, caramel, and coffee.

Pet peeves… Republicans, muscle cars/motorcycles, boom car stereos, barking dogs, screaming kids, listening to hammers and power tools.

TUESDAY, JUNE 6, 2023 He and I have been doing more research and what I have is smacking more and more of sleep apnea. Insomnia and nightmares can also be symptoms. Back in 2012 when I first saw a dentist in California, she asked if I had sleep apnea. I told her I didn’t think so and I now wonder what it was she saw in my throat that made her think that. So it probably isn’t connected to my weight, and again, I’m not that big.

The only thing that concerns me should they confirm it is sleep apnea is if whatever appears to be cursing my sleep all my life does something else to fuck with it. It seems to always find a way to get around whatever I attempt to do to better it. I’d hate to get a CPAP and find that it gives me more energy just to have them go ahead and build up behind us, or for there to be more low-flying helicopters.

One thing that could be worse than both sleep apnea and heart issues would be if I developed chronic fatigue because there’s nothing they can do for that. At least if it was sleep apnea, there are options, and there would be medication if I had heart issues. Just not necessarily medication I could tolerate, but at least I would have a shot at helping myself.

Been tired all day, even though I slept 7 hours and got a sleep score of 90. It also says I had two spikes in blood oxygen saturation levels, one of them being a pretty big swing.

The lack of alone time is getting to me again. Because there aren’t as many jobs at this time of year with the snowbirds being gone, and mostly retail in this area, it may not be until the end of the year before he’s working again. I want him to work so we have extra money and I have more alone time but I don’t want him to work because I know he wouldn’t like that and then I would worry about something going wrong while I was alone. Turn off air cleaner MONDAY, JUNE 5, 2023 Another exhausting day. Woke up 4 or 5 hours into my sleep and had a little trouble getting back to sleep. Then I got up after sleeping just 6 hours because I had to pee. When I couldn’t get back to sleep I got up for an hour but was still so tired that I went back to sleep for a couple of hours.

This is just ridiculous. I barely made it to the store. I had to lie down when we got back because it took the wind out of me so much. When I got enough energy, we went to the pool for a quick dip. It was fun even though I again had the wind knocked out of me.

Just did 8 miles on the road and my energy is depleted even more.

It’ll be 50 days before I see the pulmonologist. This seems so far away. It’s looking more and more like it could be sleep apnea. I not only have so many symptoms but it’s been worse the last 4-5 days, and according to Fitbit, I had more spikes in blood oxygen saturation.

The thought of having to sleep with a hose stuck to my face doesn’t sit well with me but I would be willing to do just about anything at this point if it’s going to help me and bring my energy back. I miss the days when my worst problems were toothaches and TMJ!

If this isn’t sleep apnea, it could be my heart but that one’s harder to believe. I just had an EKG and it’s hard to believe the doctors wouldn’t have picked up something from that or during surgery.

Not much in the way of lower stomach pain today so that’s good. Sure have been having issues with my left shoulder, though. I wish that was my only problem!

Maybe I really have beaten most of the anxiety because I always did say that as soon as I did there would just be something else. Just like if I ever find out what’s going on with me and hopefully get it resolved there will be something else. It’s one thing after another. I haven’t had a break in 9 years so I don’t expect to start anytime soon. I really fear and believe I’m going to struggle with ongoing health issues for the rest of my life.

Andy said he usually sleeps straight through and every once in a while, he’ll wake up to pee. He said that if I do, I may be tempted not to put the mask back on being sleepy and all that but that when I wake up I may regret that I didn’t. That makes sense but I can also see how it would be a pain in the ass to deal with when you’re half asleep and you just want to get back to sleep.

I wash my hair every other day and am going to try to make a point of hitting the pool before I plan to wash it even if it means swimming to a soundscape of one plane after another. Hell, there were just seconds between planes. Forget about minutes.

We exchanged helloes with a couple that was there that I’d seen in the park group. The lady later “liked” the rat pictures I decided to share after all, curious to see how many reactions/comments it would generate. Because my memory isn’t what it used to be and there are so many people I’ve talked to in the group, I couldn’t help but wonder if she was one of the ones that were rude to me at some point but I’m guessing we haven’t had any problems or else she wouldn’t have “liked” the rat.

Interestingly enough, he got a text message saying there was a water main leak and the water would be off but we never even noticed.

Anyway, other things that could cause fatigue according to my research are various cancers but I don’t have the weight loss and chronic cough that typically goes with that so that’s my last guess.

I’m down a few pounds since cutting portions and having less meat. Now that I know just how potent levothyroxine is, I suspect it isn’t that my thyroid died off more after we moved here but that my TSH probably rose because I gained weight. The TSH adjusts up and down when we lose or gain weight. I just didn’t realize it only took a few pounds to affect it. I thought it would take about 20 pounds.

Tinkerbella now takes food from us but continues to be on the shy side.

SUNDAY, JUNE 4, 2023 I wasn’t going to write today but I’m in the mood to. I would be more in the mood if I had more energy. Took me all day just to get the energy to do this entry. It seemed all I had the energy for was playing around with different pretty backgrounds.

Really worried about myself at times and wonder what the hell is going on. A 57-year-old shouldn’t get the wind knocked out of her just from cleaning her kitchen. But it’s like it sucked the energy right out of me, not that I had much to begin with. I feel like my body is struggling to keep up with life. It’s working really hard, just to function. Some things I feel make me think it’s sleep apnea and other things make me worry that it’s my heart. I don’t see myself dying anytime soon, but if I ever stop updating any of my accounts, something bad happened.

I hear thunder rumbling in the distance as a storm moves closer. So glad I’m awake! I usually have to sleep during prime storm time. The weather’s been humid but gorgeous. It’s a shame I have so little energy that I can’t be out there enjoying it. Tomorrow we’ll be out running to Publix to get some salad since Walmart had to give me a half-rotten salad. I should have known better than to trust them.

I worry I’m never again going to have the energy to go to the beach. Something’s gotta be causing this, and I really wish I knew what it was. It’s the worst it’s ever been. I think that’s part of why I’m not writing on PB as much, besides the security/doxing issues. I feel like I just don’t have enough positive stuff to say, but I’m not going to play things down in my own journal either. Also, there has been an increasing number of males there. Haven’t had a problem with any but still.

Still have that pain on and off in my lower left tummy but I don’t think it’s anything to worry about.

About 25% of my vibes or visions or whatever you want to call them – feelings - come when I’m awake, but most of what I see and learn comes in my sleep. I haven’t had any dreams of dying or anything bad happening to me. So hopefully that means I’ll figure it out in the end. Or better yet, the doctors will. Figuring it out is one thing, though, while treating it is another, whatever it may be.

The only dream I remember last night was moving to Washington State of all places. I wouldn’t mind the rain they get, but I wouldn’t like anything else.

Because I’m on days now, I haven’t caught my furry girl awake much since she’s nocturnal. But she’s been patted, chatted to, and picked up a few times. She likes to walk around my neck. Something that will be a bit hard for her to do once she’s full grown. Those nails are really going to be scratching me but this is Florida. I’m only in sleeves for 3 months of the year.

Even this entry is sucking energy out of me, so I guess that’s it for now.

SATURDAY, JUNE 3, 2023 We got our new rat, Tinkerbella, this morning! She’s a little cutie. I can already tell we're not going to have a Tinkerbell, Blondie, Sugar, or Little Buddy but I think she'll become a lot less timid in time. She's 6-8 weeks and not much bigger than Fuzzy was when we got him. I just hope she isn't going to miss having a roommate! She's sleeping right now since rats typically sleep in the daytime anyway.

They had about 8 rats, half white, half hooded. The hooded part of the rats had Berkshire rat coloring, so dark brown. I chose a cute little hoodie. As the “hood” reaches their necks and then their backs, the color tends to get spotty rather than a solid line. Tinkerbella has more of a wide solid line which I like the looks of.

We were surprised they had so many females. They usually keep those for breeding.

Yesterday we went to Port Richey, but they didn’t have any rats. They sure had some cute ferrets, though. Just when I was starting to get used to and accept that this is our forever home, I go wishing we had a bigger place and more money. The ferrets were $350! I held one for a few seconds and it was so adorable.

Thought about sharing Tinkerbella’s picture in the park group, but nope, no desire to interact with anyone here, although we do say hello to Toni every now and then. She was out when we were pulling in and I told her we got a pet rat. She congratulated us, LOL. Otherwise, I have no desire to interact with people here or online other than those I’m already interacting with.

Been having pain in my very lower left stomach close to the pubic area for the last couple of days. Really hope it’s nothing serious with my ovary. It’s probably just a flare-up since not all cysts are critical. Ibuprofen seemed to do the trick as far as the pain goes. I just hope it doesn’t come back. So far, so good.

Had okay energy for half of my day yesterday. But today I woke up tired, not surprisingly. I woke up a few times a couple of nights ago, but don’t remember snoring. Last night, I awoke more than a few times and had trouble getting back to sleep one of the times when I got up to pee.

Finally got a pulmonologist appointment for the end of next month.

Met with Helen a couple of days ago. When I was telling her that I suspected I had sleep apnea and she was discussing CPAP machines and testing with me and all that, it hit me that she was speaking from experience. I asked her if she had it, and she said she did. I said I was sorry if I put her on the spot since I’m usually pretty perceptive, but she didn’t mind.

Poor Jessie has gained 9 pounds in the 6 months she’s been on the lower thyroid dose.

Andy’s still asking me the same questions, and so is Kim, who I still keep in touch with via email. I try to wait a few days before I reply because I know that within two hours of sending that message, I’m going to get a reply. I swear that girl is home 90% of the time, and all she does at home is play with her phone! I’m waiting for the day when she says she couldn’t get back to me the same day because she was either tired or sick, or too busy. So I hold off a few days to space things out. She could go back and forth 10 times a day with the same old shit, and believe me, I have no desire to do that.

THURSDAY, JUNE 1, 2023 Nothing screams “crazy” louder than the site at the house on the corner next to the redneck. That’s where the bipolar lady lives. There’s shit everywhere, and I don’t mean trash strewn about but weird objects placed in weird places. There’s a crutch leaning against the tire of her car, and things like a fan on a stand in the middle of the yard and it’s just weird. There’s random shit all throughout her two lanais and driveway. I can just imagine what the inside of the place looks like. She even has a window AC, which isn’t allowed. It shouldn’t be necessary either, as long as your central AC works.

I guess she doesn’t take her meds regularly. It’s scary to think of a person like that driving. I mean what if she thinks she has to drive down the street in the wrong direction or else shall die in 5 minutes or some crazy shit like that? I still think those with significant mental illness, even though most people wouldn’t agree with me, should be kept away from others simply because of the dangers they pose. How do I know that the voices in her head aren’t going to convince her that Tom and I are the devil and she’s not gonna go out and get a gun and try to kill us? Any idiot with half a brain can look at her place and see that whoever lives there isn’t right in the head. This isn’t someone with a mental illness that makes her a little moody at times, but that makes her downright delusional. There’s a difference.

I know she’s been banned from the clubhouse. I just thank God, even if I’m not sure I believe in one, that she’s not next to us.

No duck statue with its beak in the crotch of a mermaid statue these days, though. LOL.

Anyway, nutjobs aside, the day started off shitty but it’s getting a little better. Lots and lots of fatigue. I even had a little lightheadedness and a touch of chest pain, not that there’s anything wrong with my heart. The bulk of what I’ve been feeling is fatigue and brain fog. I slept super shitty last night. I still swear something’s cursing my sleep and when there’s no traffic to use as a weapon against it, it’s using my own body. My own snoring woke me up a few times. I don’t understand why I’m snoring like this all of a sudden. It’s not like I recently got fat.

I also woke up to pee, or just because, and from weird dreams. In one dream, someone I couldn’t see was telling me they read every single one of my journal entries and that they “own” it. I took this to mean they downloaded a copy of the journal and would have been flattered if it wasn’t for the hint of malice in their voice. The person appeared as a shadowy figure, so I couldn’t see who they were. The voice might have been female. I heard a second voice that was muffled, and then the shadow figure said, “No, thanks. I don’t smoke.”

Then there was a dream that I was imagining falling 40 feet. Hopefully, I was imagining it anyway, and not planning it.

I had tons of other dreams, but can’t remember them.

Tom has been cutting his portions for the last month and is down 2 lbs. Unfortunately, cutting back doesn’t cut it for me, but I’m going to try. I still fear losing significant weight because of my med but I know how to cut back if the side effects get to me. I could be wrong, but I have a feeling losing some weight would help with the snoring and other things like high blood pressure and even cholesterol. I’m going to cut out all meat except for fish. I still say my body won’t give it up, especially with an elevated TSH but we’ll see. It definitely can’t hurt.

I was so out of it and groggy when I got up that I had to go back to sleep for a few more hours. It took me forever to clear the cobwebs from my head.

I’m meeting with Helen in about an hour.

They mowed the field in the back, and I hope to hell it isn’t in preparation to build anything back there. Tom said they would have cut trees if that was the case. Yeah, why didn’t they cut the trees? Particularly the ones hanging over the fence.

I like the creamy eyeshadow stick crayons that I got, only they’re so light you can barely see them. I’m gonna get others in a variety of colors sometime. It’s a lot easier to apply than powder eyeshadow.

The watermelon cube slicer isn’t as easy to use as they make it look. Might be better to make cubes and layers next time, instead of cutting all the way through.

[english-proficiency-learning]

 10+ Duolingo Writing Topics with Sample Answers

The Duolingo English Test (DET) has become a popular choice for those looking to prove their English language proficiency quickly and affordably. One of the essential sections of this exam is the writing part, which evaluates your ability to construct clear, grammatically correct responses. Understanding the types of questions you may encounter can help you prepare effectively and boost your confidence on test day.

In this blog, we will explore 10+ writing topics, discuss the types of questions you may face, and provide sample answers to help guide your Duolingo English test preparation.

1. Describe a Situation (50 Words)

In this question type, you are asked to describe a specific situation or event using 50 words. This tests your ability to provide concise and clear descriptions.

Sample Question: Describe a time when you worked in a team to achieve a common goal.

Sample Answer: During a school project, my team and I collaborated to create a presentation on climate change. I focused on research while others handled visuals. We communicated well, dividing tasks efficiently. In the end, our efforts paid off with an excellent grade.

2. Respond to an Argument (50 Words)

You may need to respond to a particular argument or statement. This question tests your critical thinking and ability to articulate your views.

Sample Question: Some people believe online education is more effective than traditional classroom learning. Do you agree?

Sample Answer: I believe online education offers more flexibility, especially for working professionals. However, traditional classroom learning provides better interaction and focus, which some students need. Both have advantages, but a blend of both seems the most effective approach.

3. Write About a Picture (75 Words)

In this task, you will be given an image and asked to describe it. This tests your observational skills and ability to express what you see.

Sample Question: Describe the picture below.

Sample Answer: The image shows a family sitting in a park. The parents are smiling, enjoying a picnic under a large tree, while two children play with a ball nearby. A bright sun shines in the background, creating a cheerful and peaceful scene.

4. Express Your Opinion (100 Words)

Here, you are required to share your opinion on a given topic, explaining your viewpoint clearly.

Sample Question: Should governments invest more in healthcare or education?

Sample Answer: Both healthcare and education are vital sectors, but I believe education should be prioritized. A well-educated population contributes to economic growth and better decision-making. However, without proper healthcare, people cannot fully benefit from education. Balancing investment in both sectors is essential for overall development.

5. Creative Writing (50-100 Words)

This task allows for creativity, where you can imagine scenarios or create fictional content.

Sample Question: Write a story about a person who found a hidden treasure.

Sample Answer: While hiking in the mountains, John stumbled upon an old wooden box buried beneath a tree. Curiosity piqued, he opened it and found golden coins, jewels, and an ancient map. Unsure of its origin, he decided to embark on an adventure to uncover the mystery behind the treasure.

6. Compare Two Concepts (50 Words)

In this question type, you will need to compare two ideas or concepts, highlighting their similarities and differences.

Sample Question: Compare traditional books and e-books.

Sample Answer: Traditional books offer a tangible reading experience with no need for power. E-books, however, are portable and allow you to store thousands of books on a single device. While e-books are convenient, many still prefer the feeling of holding a real book.

7. Write a Letter (75-100 Words)

You might be asked to write a formal or informal letter, testing your ability to address different audiences appropriately.

Sample Question: Write a letter to your friend, inviting them to your birthday party.

Sample Answer: Hi Sarah, I hope you’re doing well! I’m writing to invite you to my birthday party next Saturday at my place. It’ll be a fun evening with games, good food, and music. I really hope you can make it! Let me know if you can come. Best, Anna

8. Describe a Process (75 Words)

In this task, you will need to explain a specific process, such as how to do something.

Sample Question: Describe the process of making a cup of tea.

Sample Answer: First, boil water in a kettle. Once boiled, pour it into a cup containing a tea bag. Let the tea steep for 2-3 minutes. Add sugar, milk, or lemon according to your preference. Stir well and enjoy your freshly brewed tea!

9. Summarize a Paragraph (50 Words)

This question asks you to read a short paragraph and summarize the main points.

Sample Question: Summarize the following: “Exercise is essential for maintaining good health. It helps to reduce the risk of chronic diseases, improves mental well-being, and promotes better sleep.”

Sample Answer: Exercise is crucial for health, reducing disease risks, improving mental health, and enhancing sleep quality.

10. Explain a Trend (100 Words)

You may be asked to explain a current trend or phenomenon, showing your awareness of contemporary issues.

Sample Question: Explain the rise of remote work in recent years.

Sample Answer: Remote work has become increasingly popular due to advances in technology and the flexibility it offers employees. The COVID-19 pandemic accelerated this trend as businesses shifted to home-based work. Today, many companies continue offering remote work options, citing increased productivity, lower costs, and better work-life balance for employees.

Conclusion

The Duolingo English Test writing section may seem daunting, but understanding the different types of questions and practicing your responses can significantly improve your performance. From describing situations to summarizing ideas, the range of writing tasks tests various skills. By familiarizing yourself with these question types and practicing sample answers, you can feel more confident and prepared for the writing section of the Duolingo English Test.

Start practicing with these examples to enhance your writing skills and achieve your desired score on the test. 

Good luck!

[rewordthis]

So one episode left…

Gate: … Close?

How come we’re robbed of an episode this season? Season one was 24 episodes long. Usually anime with double the size of episodes are 24 episodes long. Could this be due to the recap I wasn’t able to find? Or because the animators are about to pass out from being worked to the bone?

⚠️Be warned: I rant ALOT this time around so don’t read if you can’t handle it. 🤷‍♀️

I see right and left people screaming at each other, especially those saying how this isn’t a nicely animated series being told off for ever mentioning something like that and that this season is literally killing the animators working for MAPPA because of the inhumane working schedule so people should be thankful to even get it and you know what? I held back all this time from saying it but it was nowhere near entertaining watching the show thus far save for some very specific exceptions.

Certainly not the nicely put-together series I loved from first season…

I keep comparing it to the first season and the movie and beside the five first episodes (not that these were stellar but still…), that many claimed it to be an artistic option to look like that, the series is decimated with bad scrip and awful flow and disturbingly bright colours that sometimes actually detract from the vibe. Not always! And I stress that because the Choso vs Yuuji fight was beautiful and Mahito’s deployment in Uzumaki was beyond pretty but the series are dark alright. It’s not exactly some neon-pop phantasmagoria to have that all the time. Also, the fight scenes have zero choreography and are often a mess that portrays nothing sort of non-cohesive stills here and there. Not to mention how annoying it is to have the luminosity suddenly drop from 100% to 30%. I have paused and rewinded FAR too many times trying to understand what’s going on to find it amusing anymore. All in all though, the worst part out of this season are the fights and I don’t think there’s anyone that caught whiff of what was going on without “rewinding” and pausing every frame — there’s no way you can enjoy something like this — unless you know, you have read the manga first... 😕😔

And in general let me break this down further by answering some really simple questions:

Are there incredible scenes? Yes.

Are there nice proportions and nicely portrayed characters most of the time? Yep!

Is the flow making sense? Somewhat?

Is the build up of the story engaging? Meh.

Are the fight sequences easy to follow with beginning, build up and climax? 7/10 no.

Animators are overworked? Then let them rest for fucks sake! I rather have the season postponed than have this… this “THING”! *waves hands wildly* This is not nice or good or desirable for both the fans and the workers. Give them time to sleep. Give the series time to come out properly. MAPPA managed to fuck up both its manpower and a popular series with one stone this time!

Honestly, I may come off as an ungrateful bitch and you know what? Think what you want, I may very well be one because it already sucks for me watching the series and knowing how much it sucks for the people behind it’s production; I can’t feel thankful for their efforts even more if it’s a product of frustration and pain. I feel disgusted by the executives for creating and prolonging this situation. I feel guilty for the animators working just to make their living. I hate the whole scheme of things inside and out of the anime industry. I honestly, honestly, would prefer the series went on hold until there was enough time to be produced normally and evenly. Just churning out episode after episode with shit quality simply because they need to ride the hype from the manga is not just bad business, is bad fan practice too.

If I didn’t know jack how the anime business in Japan works, I’d wish for the fanbase to turn their backs on this production but from what I’ve gathered projects get the guillotine treatment when there is no engagement. And it’s not like the employees can have a legal say on all this, as the Japanese law allows for companies that get negative criticism to file for defamation against whoever so much as speaks about them. I really hate that… 😤 Even worse, leaving a company is viewed as you not being a proper and cooperative employee in most cases, so you end up being undesirable for other companies. Unless these animators don’t have a back up plan they literally have nowhere to go if they leave MAPPA. Someone do correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve come across many articles talking how this is a main toxic work trait in Japan. It’s why Nanami got killed, kids. Wake up!

But to make it perfectly clear, those who say that this season is not good? They have every right to say it if you’re just going to claim the bad working conditions in MAPPA. To be more precise, it is exactly what is shown in this season that makes it bad. It’s the mess in production that pours through and that’s why this is a badly animated series. Not just the wacky lines or the mad dimming etc. but also the scenario and the flow that are just… gasping to catch up to the events. No matter how much the animators work themselves to the ground producing amazingly beautiful imageries the problem remains the same; there’s a scenario that confuses and breaks off and leaves openings way too much to help the viewer follow the story and that is what a story is mainly told for. Each mean/medium (call it whatever) has a different way to tell a story effectively. Just because Gege wrote it that way in the manga it doesn’t mean that is the optimal way for the anime to play it out, too. It’s not that hard to understand that, is it? And that’s exactly what I don’t like this season. The scenario. The direction. The flow. That’s all I’m saying. Will I still watch it? Yes, because I like the story and the characters and more importantly it’s already out. I’m not having a say as to when or how an episode airs so I take what I’m given. Do I like the execution so far? Mmm… Some parts I adore, some I hate, and some are neutral as they should. Do I think it’s a masterpiece? Well, I’ll have to rewatch it with that specific question in mind to be able to answer this one. It sure is one hell of an effort, though. 🫤

Anyway, moving on from my rant — holidays bring out the worst in me, so ignore the negativity I give off in this post; let’s see what this episode’s good points were because I need to laugh this off somehow and let’s ponder on the new info we got from it… Shall we?

So! MeiMei bailed, huh? Same, not gonna play the bigger person here. But if she had the time to pick up her laptop, fly to Malaysia — ah, Nanamin where are you? 😭 — and treat herself a Merlot wouldn’t that mean she also had time to buy a bra? Girl! Put them melons away from UiUi; kid’s gonna die of nosebleed!

Yet, you’re flying out of Japan for what? To avoid the higher ups, I’m sure. All while tracking the stock market and telling your friend(?) that is at a completely different time zone too(!) to sell everything they have in Japan. And who is that friend you want to keep you in the loop? What loop??? To which country??? (The one country with a strong economic presence and a day/night deference I can think of is A… 😬) And so what if you move your assets? If the curses win, fuck the world! Not just Japan or the developed countries! 😑 That friend also knowing of jujutsu… I’m so curious, but also scared. This is Gege we’re talking about here. 😬

At this point though, I’m amazed that Kusakabe didn’t do the same already… Ah, but it’s not that he didn’t try, huh? With Panda around, not even crawling under a rock (rubble, but still— literally!) and playing dead didn’t work. lmao

No, he’s good, he’s good. I like my scaredy-cat to know where to draw the line and not feel ashamed of being afraid. His character is actually starting to grow on me okay?

Also, I take it he’s Miwa’s mentor? Why? How? I can’t even begin to explain why this is hilarious and wrong at the same time but I mean, he’s gotta be, right? The one moment Miwa was talking about her mentor (very vague her background story ngl — only notable thing the fact her hair are natural ciel! Whaw!) and the next Kusakabe enters the scene like… he’s gotta be her mentor!

His New Shadow Style slays btw. Didn’t expect it to be that powerful. The way he cut Mahito and left a crater… mhnnn 😳 I mean, MeiMei did say he’s super strong — Yuuji-level — but that was a new level of strong even when accounting for Yuuji as well… 😗

By the way, Mr. Braingoo going full-mode Geto before realising it himself... I laughed. HARD!!! I mean I was having a double take when he started explaining about Uzumaki to Yuuji, much like how Geto did during his fight with Yuuta. Oops~

“Geto! Give the Goo back!”

Mr. Call-Me-What-You-May laughing at himself has some good humour in him though, not complaining one bit here. He’s intriguing as a character. Waiting some good cooking from Gege with this one.

Now, my biggest issue in this guy was that he didn’t really let Yuuji’s fight with Mahito have a closure. I mean maaan? Why did you have to do that, Gege? I wanted to test my “Soul Portion” theory*[see end of post]! Not to mention, he really used Mahito’s abilities in Uzumaki against MIWA! BRO! Anticlimactic, Gege… 😗 Aah~

I even felt bad for Mahito — if you believe that! I actually pitied him at the end. He realised he was going to get betrayed “Because you are humans. (So I was right when I said in a previous post that this little fella (Brainy) was actually a human before, huh?) Because I was born from you (humans).” Because he understood the human nature. I still think this had something to do with my theory but Gege made sure we won’t find out. 🥸 It was interesting to see that Mahito was still ‘alive’ as a cursed ‘pill’, too. (How do you call them balls Geto’s technique turns those spirits into??? 🥶) And that all from Mr. Brainiac admiring Yuuji’s ‘durability’. He actually said: “even I am surprised”. And why him specifically? 🧐

Also, was he speaking to Geto or Mahito, when he said that he had also noticed the ‘other presence’ he felt? I got confused over this.

And panda asking if Yuuji was back to being normal. Huuuuuh… I’m just glad Yuuji reunited with someone as persevering as Panda. 😮‍💨

In that respect, I also didn’t understood to what exactly Panda referred to here. The Prison Realm? Or Gojo in the Prison Realm??? 🤨🧐 Darling be more specific?

And then Choso came back — and here I had started wondering what happened to him — sweet urchin buns came right in the moment. (I won’t talk about how cute he was all curled up in that curve in the wall, ok? I can’t! He was too cute!!! Gives him my handkerchief to wipe his tears… 🫠) And what revelations! 🫢 Yuuji is his brother? His BROTHER?! Choso is the Onii-chan, again?! 👀 Another buratha? No… I get it. He said it’s a side effect of his technique so he is actually related to Yuuji, if not by genes then surely by blood and technique. He also said he’s got three parents… Fuck Cramer vs Cramer. Fuck all custody battles ever fought. Gege just clowned every single one of them! 🤡 And Choso just going “my father who I hate, Kamo Noritoshi!” and Noritoshi actually asking “Me?!” I do not kid you as I say I HOLLERED!!! HAHAHA Darling you can’t be his papa, Choso may be a newborn into the world but he’s 150 years old!!! I want to know if the Thing still has Kamo’s technique in store, now. I’m curious. From what Choso said Mr. Goo could be the papa of Yuuji in a way, too??? O3O Does Yuuji baby have a blood manipulation technique he’s yet to discover??? @3@ And Brainy did say “even I”, to be sure, earlier… so he does have something to do with Yuuji. And we still are in the dark of Yuuji’s origins. Huff hufff huf! Whatever it is it’s in Yuuji’s blood though. In his body, I’d say but who am I. Choso made it clear that he’s got to have a blood relation to someone to feel the changes they go through. And he also specifically said that Kamo-jisan put his blood into the mix; potentially what gave a physical body (that’s why I say Yuuji’s body) to the cursed paintings… Hold on! Does that mean Yuuji and Noritoshi are also blood related? Are Yuuji and Choso the great-uncles of Noritoshi??? 🤯

Then Noritoshi actually opening his eyes to see Choso using Blood Manipulation Technique was funny as hell. He peeled those eyes wide open like I’m sure he’s never done before! Look at him! lol

Kusakabe, the poor man only just starting to connect the dots and realising how seriously fucked up everything (and everyone) is… Very relatable the stages of suffering this man goes through so far…

And Panda’s comment… Jujutsu Kaisen Omega AU trope just unlocked! Muhahaha 😈 Gege is such a damn yaoi fan, it brings joy to my fujo heart. lol

By the way, Yuuji not beating the omega allegations either. Kid shed the uniform not like walking into the battle but onto bed. 😭

Look at him pushing his hair back à la Sukuna style! 😎 (Bro! autocorrect kept changing Sukuna to skunk, and like, ok I get it? but also how about “NO!”? 😬) As for Panda still having two cores… does that mean we’re finally going to see what form his ‘sister’ is? O.O

Now, where the fuck Uraume flew into the scene from still mystifies me but one thing is for sure, it makes absolute sense to be Sukuna’s bestie. Wanting everyone slaughtered sure is the ticket to the King’s heart. haha

Also. Ice powers?! From how Noritoshi reacted it sounded like it’s a pretty rare technique. Wow! This gives such a ‘fresh’ vibe to the character. Not to mention, it somehow makes me believe that Sukuna may not be able to control ice that well — considering he’s got access to jujutsu through his own technique (the box) — as in, I think he’s able to use the five elements (maybe?) but not the different forms of specific techniques… Eh…??? 😵‍💫 Maybe that’s another reason why he kept Uraume around? Because of the rarity of that technique and the kinship of bloodlust was just a bonus? Not too stretched a hypothesis, right? And why are their characters starting to give off Leo—Virgo vibes? Is it just me?!

After Uraume’s entrance to the scene everything kind of got rather out of whack though. The use of Reverse Cursed Technique was the last straw for poor Kusakabe who must be feeling way too out of his waters with everything that’s happening right before his eyes. I mean, who can blame the man?

I’d want to go home, too, Kusakabe-san… 🥺

And then Choso not backing down, not stopping to try to protect the ‘little brother before his eyes’, totally amazing this dude right here. And let me just admit that I actually think this time the fight with Goo-jisan was infinitely more palatable than what I’ve seen this season. I’m just starting to appreciate him (Choso) more every time, even going as far to head on challenge Uraume! He turned and stared right at Uraume as the ice was about to pierce him! Man didn’t even flinch. I didn’t expect to feel so protective towards him, but he’s like a faithful dog that will get between you and danger, he’s so damn adorable! And in the nick of time, Yuuji saving Choso from Uraume… Ughhh~ *biting finger* Agh! Gege! Agh!

Or Uraume’s reaction to Yuuji moving through the ice, potentially hurting himself; “Whose body do you think that is?!” 😡 Um, hate to break this to you, Ura-chan but he thinks it’s his and so far he’s… right. Aha~ 😋

But that was nowhere near as funny as when I was shaking whole when Choso asked Yuuji to call him Onii-chan!!! LMAO Read the atmosphere, Chosooo!!! 🤣🤣🤣

Like… try it! Try it, Yuuji! You’re not getting off the hook this time! Haha

And just when Uraume was about to put everyone in the freezer for the year’s provisions… bam! Miss Yuuki is here to save the day!

I mean… how much more do you need to turn a shounen into a fetish series I don’t know, but you probably don’t need much more than what we already have in our hands here… That slow, upward close-up of Yuuki’s ass reflecting in Yuuji’s eyes was just the perfect example after the MeiMei scene, me thinks… 🫣🫢

Girl, you just got here?!

By the way… where is Yuuta? I’m still waiting for him since season one! 😩

Right… So— long post is long. I just had some time to sit and write a couple things before the last episode airs. I didn’t really managed to stay on top of this every week, even though I’d love to. I even tried to combine the previous two episodes but tumblr is being annoying with the number of pics per post and I also couldn’t finish writing everything I wanted before Episode 22 aired.

Anyway. Let’s see if I’ll have the time to write for the final episode, too since I have some more thoughts I want to talk about… or you know, I may as well do the reviews along a rewatch later on. :P

Thank you for staying with me and my crazy theories till now~ 😊 Do pardon my ‘angry’ rant on the MAPPA working conditions. But it’s a “those who are outside of the dance, know many songs” kind of thing.

✨ I hope you all had a very Merry Christmas Day and wish you Happy Holidays and a Happy New Year!!! 🎄 ✨

⛄️

Short excerpt from the previous episodes’ rant that I didn’t get to post on time for those of you wanting context: * Not to mention how I have this strange feeling that Mahito’s ‘soul’ is actually that blue eye. Like… why do I think that, I have no concrete proof or any indication whatsoever but I just think it’d be neat to have his ‘core’ manifested like that. We do say that “the eyes are the mirrors of the soul” after all. Not to mention, out of all the curses so far, Mahito is the only one that bleeds actual blood and not ‘curse juce’ so I thought that; hey, you know what? That’s because there’s actually a part of him that is human. That is very breakable. That even though he’s a curse through and through, being born out of the fear for humans has also given him some very human properties and weaknesses as well. I don’t know… maybe it would be nice for him to have misunderstood his own existence— to give some more depth to his character as a concept. Hm… 🧐

I’m actually going insane thinking this and I have a Head Canon that could be very plausible if Gege hadn’t gotten scared. That damn cyclops cat! Grrr

[amzonlinearbitrage]

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[godstrain]

Rex’s Gardening Service here.

Loamy Soil:

Your passions outside of role play seep through in your writing; you bring an intellectual edge to your words, and it’s very satisfying to see. You’re also a very sweet person, and I hope you get to know you better.

Sunlight:

I’m just so impressed with your portrayal of Albert Wesker. This is a character I’ve loved for well over a decade, and yet I find myself loving him more and more through your muse. You don’t pull any punches, but you also don’t— hesitate to get down and dirty with his trauma and his struggles. Don’t ever change.

Drizzle from the watering can:

Tell us a self-indulgent headcanon that you have about your muse.

th,,, h

holy shit rex im going to fuckn cry???? what the fuck this is so sweet of you!!!!

but im going to get super real here.

honestly, when i first jumped into the RE rabbit hole, i was worried that i wouldn't be able to do wesker justice- and you know my track record of muses well enough from seeing me in the pokemon fandom lmao- and it's not like i haven't written characters that are sorta wesker-adjacent before, because i have, and still there was this lingering doubt which i will guess is due to the fact i had also never really been in a horror franchise because i had so much that i was afraid of. fear, i have found, really does hold people back, and i basically had to supreme exposure therapy myself and even then i was having a time.

that was ... may 5th, 2023. the day i decided to bite the bullet and make wesker a blog and write a character from a franchise i literally knew NOTHING about. and that's not often my style. i am a perfectionist at heart- proud and rather critical of my work, wanting to always put out my best and show that i know exactly what the hell i'm talking about. i'm a researcher and scholar just as much as i am an artist and writer- i accept nothing but 100%, and in the past, i would spend countless hours doing research before writing a goddamn thing, i'd comb through my rp partner's blogs for metas so i could make something unique for their portrayal (and that is something i still do and will always do), and then when everything was in place, i'd post a goddamn reply. i usually read at least 5 scholarly articles about a topic that i want to tie into a muse before writing a meta. i put my professional resources to use to bring life to my fiction.

but with wesker, i just went headfirst in. i didn't master the lore. i skimmed a wiki page and watched a few clips from various iterations of his character. i took a look at his tag on tumblr and twitter (and promptly was like mkay can't handle this right now). i read the wiki page a little more closely, and then i took the leap of faith, hoping that all the things i had learned from past characters and all the knowledge i had accumulated and all the experiences i've had working in the inpatient psych unit would be enough. i am not the type to leave anything unattended. this was wildly unlike me.

and i am so glad i did this, and more than that i am so, so honored that you have found more things to love about wesker through my portrayal. the portrayal that didn't get the same perfectionist treatment before it even saw the light of day. wesker, whose lore i have explored rather extensively in the ... what uh. 3 months i have been writing him- there's so much i still have to learn, and so much i want to explore. i see art as it should be: a mirror of life and society. the truth is, albert wesker could be anyone. that pain and suffering and horrible upbringing is a thing that happens. he's so painfully alive in that way. it's hard to look at the truth like that, but i also sure hate ignorance, in myself and in others. we cannot learn if we do not see. so i don't hold my punches, and i don't hide the aspects of him that i know sometimes would be cut out. there's so much i have learned from writing wesker- about how i write, what i expect of myself, and how i can better myself in so many ways, and i never expected to learn through this.

so thank you. thank you so much for this, it means more than i could possibly put into words.

on the note of self-indulgent meta analysis, i want you to know that i picked "wilde" for wesker's original surname because of my love for oscar wilde. it's a common theme in my metas where i will throw in something as a treat for myself like that. i picked cambridge, ma, for his birthplace because i live nearby, and there's something about having a character you love "nearby" that is??? sorta serotonin inducing. you know, in the style of tolkien's desire of dragons- "I desired dragons with a profound desire. Of course, I in my timid body did not wish to have them in the neighborhood. But the world that contained even the imagination of Fáfnir was richer and more beautiful, at whatever the cost of peril." and for me, i guess it's something like that. i keep the things i find the most interesting close in some form, yeah?

[ikamigami]

Yeah Moon not comforting Sun isn't the end of the world.. I wish that he could at least be there even if for a bit and hold his hand.. cause I know that Moon doesn't like physical affection.. but I think that Moon doesn't want to make Sun's mental state worse..

And when I rewatched the episode I think that Moon's voice sounded as if he was trying to hold himself together when they returned from Dark Sun's dimension..

Especially when Solar was talking to him about Sun..

To me it didn't sound like Moon tried to run away but he sounded worried about Sun..

And I think that Moon doesn't want to say something insensitive to Sun or to unintentionally talk over Sun or focus on his own emotions..

And tbh I think that finding Dark Sun isn't the worst idea.. because only Dark Sun knows why he did what he did..

I think that Moon tries to act as quickly as possible because he doesn't want the consequences of Sun killing Nexus go from already big to catastrophically huge because it could destroy Sun..

Moon knows what happened after Sun killed Bloodmoon.. even if he doesn't know every little detail of what happened after his death.. he knows enough to understand the gravity of the situation..

And all of this can coexist with the fact that Moon is scared to talk with Sun about Nexus and his own relationship with Sun.. and also now Sun isn't ready for such talk..

I think that it's not exactly 100% only that Moon isn't good with emotions..

Idk how to say it.. but I feel like Moon would like to go to Sun to just even be there with him..

But there was something in Moon's voice.. something completely different compared to how Moon was back then before he got reset..

He sounded worried about Sun but he also didn't try to show it.. I don't know why exactly.. maybe he doesn't want to have an emotional breakdown himself..

To me it seems like Moon is trying to understand Sun's emotions better and be more considerate about Sun's feelings and mental well-being than he used to..

To me Moon sounded genuinely worried about Sun but maybe he was also overwhelmed.. after all he went through a lot himself and he doesn't want to overshadow Sun's poor mental state by his own issues..

Or that's what I think.. cause Moon used to make everything about himself all the time before the reset..

And maybe that's why he tells others that he's fine.. and goes elsewhere because then others will take care of Sun who needs help more than him right now..

And I think that he might be afraid that if he stayed others would try to take care of him when he thinks that now is not the time..

And like there's definitely so many reasons to why Moon didn't go to Sun..

And I think that Sun would understand everything..

And about Moon's abuse towards Sun.. I think that Moon treated Sun awfully.. like really a lot worse than many people think..

But I think that Moon is aware of that.. that's why he says that Sun can hate him..

But I really think that Moon doesn't know how to deal with all of this.. how to actually accept his own bad actions and not beat himself over it..

Because Moon thinks that Sun should hate him but Sun doesn't because all Sun ever wanted was for Moon to try just like he's doing now.. Sun even said that to Earth during therapy..

Sun and Moon both should talk with each other.. have a heart to heart conversation about their relationship and everything.. but now isn't the best time.. and they didn't have too many opportunities before that either..

I'm definitely more biased towards Sun because I find him relatable and I stilll wish that Moon at least was there with Sun and hold his hand for a moment..

But I don't think that Moon is a monster and bad person for not knowing how to handle this situation.. it's the worst situation they had to deal with.. so I understand..

Also I think that Moon may sooner or later tell more about what he feels or thinks.. I mean maybe he'll talk to Earth about why he avoids talking to Sun or maybe he'll talk with Taurus..

But I'm glad that Moon didn't sound as dismissive as he used to before the reset and as I thought at first he did (cause I was watching without sound - don't ask me why)..

I just think that there's something more going on that Moon doesn't want to talk about for reasons that are unknown for now..

watching Sams tumblr completely turn on moon simply because he’s emotionally unavailable is so fucking funny to me

like, YouTube comments has more Marcy then tumblr does

and as someone who’s emotionally unavailable (and unstable), I do understand where he is coming from but people think he’s horrible for not being there for his brother and, all I ask is for people to try to put themselves into the character shoes and think, how the fuck can moon help his brother after killing someone?