#the show is about accepting parts of yourself so realistically everyone will make up soon enough
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I always have that one character that to me is just "if anyone in the canon story hates them ill go apeshit"
And to me it's virgil
This is sort of why i prefer janus hating orange more than vee tbh
V A L I D but to be fair Jan doesn't really show any hatred towards Vee (It's a little more the other way around and Jan's just a lil shit about their history together) But the Sassy Snake and Citrus man hating each other is always a fun concept
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bookswithdora · 2 years ago
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A Man Called Ove by Frederik Backman - Book Review
*sighs in a melodramatic manner* I am in love with reading and stories again because of this book.
Summary:
Ove is your regular neighbouring grump who doesn’t actually get on everyone’s nerves as much as everyone gets on his nerves for disrespecting the code of conduct one must have while simply living. He is a man who believes there is a right way to do things and there is a right time to do them. He is also a man who longs to die as soon as possible.
When a mixed-up, new-age family moves in next door, Ove finds that it is not as easy to get an hour or two to kill yourself as he would've thought. Throughout the book, Ove is forced to do an incredible amount of things he wouldn’t usually agree to, however, as we move along with him on this journey he finds that certain situations that would’ve seemed impossible just a little while ago, are not so unpleasant as they have seemed.
This is my favourite book of the year. I don’t care about anything I’ve said so far, this is the book. It is my favourite of the year and is among my favourites ever.
I never thought that one of the best love stories I have read would come from Frederik Backman. He is not the writer I would expect to put out such a book, especially not this well expressed, funny and loving at times. Though that is probably because I started with his more recent work when I started reading him. I was delighted, I laughed and I cried. I also love when I laugh while I am crying, which is what this book made me do.
I started reading about Ove somewhat expecting where this book was going to take me and while my predictions about the book were right, the intensity of my feelings through it just completely blew me off. Now, I am all about that grump falls in love with sunshine trope and I do love it when I read it in books, however, the way that is done here and the way this book is more of an ode to that love rather than the beginning of the love story itself is just what makes it so magical.
I did say in the summary that Ove is just another regular neighbouring grump, however, I would not call him all that regular, since Ove is the kind of man that believes in right and wrong, the kind of man that allows his deeds to speak before his mouth do and the kind of man that would never refuse to help where help is needed. I particularly enjoyed how harsh his kindness is since those were the parts I most laughed about, and how while he believes himself to be a black-and-white type of man, he is bursting with colours when seen in the eyes of a child, or anybody else empathetic enough to look deeper inside. 
The way Ove acts, the way Ove talks, and the way Ove loves all make him such a lovable character and while I did realize that that was the point of the story itself, I didn’t realize it will be so well performed that I will fall in love completely. It is just the right amount of everything that was put into it. In Serbian, we have a word ‘taman’ that describes this particular character development line (I think the word comes from Turkish or Arabic, though I am not sure), and it means “just right”, just the right amount of everything. And while the book did have an immigrant and a gay person and made the old grump from the neighbourhood interact with them so you could see that he is not all that bad and traditional, it wasn’t overly exaggerated and it didn’t seem like the grump was ‘more woke’ than he would be in a realistic situation, it seemed just right, in other words, the way Ove was and Ove did felt taman. 
While I loved the other characters in the book and the way they behaved, I don’t feel like anybody who meets such a person at first would accept him as easily as they did, and the fact that Ove had Sonya who, even though she isn’t present in the story, made some of those connections possible is what made me even more joyful. Because sometimes is not about the love that we give to other people, sometimes it is about the love that we show to that one person who is ready and willing to love the rest of the world on our behalf.
“People said Ove saw the world in black and white. But she was colour. All the colour he had.”
His love for Sonya is something that is very well described in the book already and I don’t feel like I should dwell on it too much here. I loved her through him and I feel like I wouldn’t be in love with her as a character as much if I hadn’t seen her through his eyes and felt her love for the world through him.
“You don't fool me, darling," she said with a playful little smile and crept into his big arms. "You're dancing on the inside, Ove, when no one's watching. And I'll always love you for that. Whether you like it or not.”
I do hope that one day I will learn to write proper reviews and be able to describe what I read in better ways than describing how I felt about it. For now, I will just let you know that, if you haven’t already, you should read this book because I can’t be the only person bawling my eyes out in a mall’s coffee shop because of it, thank you.
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ballorawan740 · 3 years ago
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SCP Scenarios: When they get scared by the reader (REQUESTED)
Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post
Requested by: @_Milla_7849_
SCP 073 (Cain)
I feel like Cain normally wouldn't be scared
Like if you made him watch a horror movie, he might flinch slightly but wouldn't be terrified of it
So when you try to scare him like a prank sort of way, he would flinch a little more than usual but would recover seconds later
Like that one time when he was alone walking down the hallway looking zoned out since he was thinking of something
And you just crept up to him like the sneaky little child you are and jumped onto his back
He did get a load yelp but realised it was you
Luckily for you, Cain didn't give you a lecture like before and actually laughed with you
However, if you were kidnapped or taken hostage or used for an experiment, it would obviously frighten him and he wouldn't forgive himself
So to prevent this, he would keep you within his line of sight at all times
Anyways, as I've mentioned before, Cain would probably also give you a tight hug after your little stunt and unbeknownst to him, the researchers recorded it for a laugh
Cain did give you a lecture but forgave you since you were so young and he couldn't resist those eyes
And the researchers did give you some sweets
SCP 076-2 (Abel)
Now, a warrior like Abel wouldn't be so easily frightened
Especially if it was a child, even more so if it's you since he knows you too well and has personally trained you from the age of 5
Basically, Abel would notice your movement and body language well since you're both stuck together
So you have devices a plan with your scientist friends to try and scare him
And yes, it's working
Because Abel got extremely distracted by Iris
Iris basically got yahooted into this mess and was told to wear a lingerie
Yes, you did scare him by shoving him into Iris
I wouldn't say he got a scare, but more like a surprise
Poor girl she just wanted to sleep
SCP 999 (Tickle Monster) 999 would most likely be scared the easiest out of everyone on this list
Aside from Glass
He's like a close second
Back to 999, you both were just chilling and wandering around the facility aimlessly
Because yall are boring (TBF you're both trapped in this giant mf blop of a building)
Anyways, let's just say that it was Bright and Clef who introduced you to the world of pranks and you guys thought it would be funny to scare our 999 here
Basically, yall decided to play dead and then pretend to turn into zombies with some makeup
Yes, it did work since you've managed to scare the living daylights out of 999
And he was about to have a cardiac arrest (if he even has a biological heart)
And yes, it almost ended in another breach
And 999 did give you a lecture on how to not scare people like that
He does sound like a grandpa though XD
SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)
I would say that scaring 682 would be difficult, but I won't since he's already terrified of that rabbit
You, along with the other researchers, thought it'll be fun to pull a prank on 682 in form of a magic trick
It's a classic rabbit in the hat trick and yes, you did pull SCP 524 out of the hat
But, little did your tiny brain know, that rabbit basically eats everything, including itself
So you just watched 524 approaches the already terrified 682 and nibble on his feet
And yes, you and the other researchers laughed hard since he crawled up the wall to get away from the rabbit (I'm now officially adopting 524 as my other pet)
Sadly, 524 didn't stay for long since another doctor needed him for a test with Josie (yes, the cat)
682 basically shouted at you for doing such a thing on him, your dad
But you ignored him anyways since you knew he never meant what he said and he wouldn't be mad at you for long
SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)
Our bird boy here is pretty much neutral when it comes to being scared
Like, he can be quite unfazed by many things, so it's no surprise if you or any other SCPs tried to jump on him
So as part of an experiment, you and your friends had decided that you would try to play dead and see if 049 would be terrified
Well, 049 was somewhat concerned and when you carried on playing dead, he became scared since you weren't so conscious, or so he thought
Since you played dead extremely well for such a young child, he tried to see if he could fix you
And before he could do anything, you jumped up at him like Bonnie from FNAF
Yes, he looked like he jumped out of his skin and was so stunned that he just sat in the corner with his head down for an hour
You all had to check up on him and he said he was 'fine'
He wasn't
049 gave you a lecture about playing dead like that unless there's a dangerous SCP
SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)
Now, since 035 is a mask and is very much a master manipulator and an award-winning actor/actress, you would most likely be able to take on those traits from him
When you were younger, you were eager to learn from 035, who you see as not only your best friend but also an idol, so he taught you everything he could
As you got older, you've gotten better at manipulation and acting, so much so that even 035 couldn't tell if you were just being you from time to time
So one day, you've decided to prank your dad because you were hella bored (like you always are :((( cuz yall never be productive and just sit on your flat bum all day and watch YouTube, Netflix or play games then sleep)
You basically produced a fake body of yourself and wrapped it in a black bag and sent it to 035's cell
Then, you've got one of your researcher buddies to write a note of your passing and that you do love him very much
035 did receive the message and made sure that there was a dead body in the package
He was pretty much convinced that it was you since you were able to disguise the fake body like bone and flesh
Which of course scared him to death because he was about to attack everyone on site
Luckily you got there on time to stop him which freaked him out and yes, you've gotten a lecture about being such a prankster (You got grounded for life but that didn't stop a rebellious child like you)
At least everyone at the facility has gotten a laugh about it for the next 3 months
SCP 105 (Iris)
Pranking Iris wouldn't be hard, but that doesn't mean she's fazed, but not in a sense like 049 who wouldn't get a good scare from some SCPs which could do him harm
Iris is very much a self-aware and open-minded individual who has common sense (unlike you, who don't even move out of your bed or even use your non-existent brain cells)
She's very much like every other person you'll meet on the streets who wouldn't just believe the first thing that she hears since she is very much a rational person
So, if you want to devise a plan to scare her, it'll have to blend in with everything or be quiet out there with realistic effects
You'll have to use your head to think of a good prank to scare her, which you did since you've inherited her intelligence (that's a lie because you don't have any intelligence left in you)
As her child, you have decided to prank her by making her a fake copy of her camera but instead of her being able to control objects within the photo, she would end up destroying it
You gave it to her as a gift and she accepted it with suspicion since you don't normally get her anything and encouraged her to try it (you're such an ungrateful child)
Cain, Dr Glass, Dr Kondraki and a couple of others wanted to see as well, so they stayed and watch
Much to everyone's horror, the illusion camera did exactly how you designed it to and Iris was furious and saddened
Later on, you told her about the prank since you feel bad and she was extremely mad
So instead of grounding or lecturing you, she decided to have revenge
SCP 106 (Old Man)
Now, scaring this old man would be rather interesting because he doesn't seem too fazed by the other, more dangerous and unpredictable, SCPs
But, you can still scare him to a certain degree
I mean, he is an old man after all, so scaring him would be fun
As long as you don't give him a heart attack then it's fine I guess (cuz yall be evil for scaring such an old man)
So, you have decided to scare 106 by giving off little bits of harmless pranks at first so 106 would let his guard down for a moment
Like, giving him a box full of spiders (he's quite disgusted by them just like how he sees your face every time) and popping an air-filled bag (Don't lie, you've all done it and it's hella fun)
Later on, you would gradually move to play with the more dangerous things, such as getting him to look at a picture of 096's face (Probs ugly like yo-)
As time moved on, 106 seemed to be relaxed and expected you to bring him random things and soon realised that there was something off
You didn't show up to him for almost a week and he was ready to get his dad mode on
Luckily, some of the guards caught you with Abel and got 106 involved since they were afraid of causing a massive breach
106 panicked and picked you up, giving you a lecture on how you shouldn't be with other SCPs like Abel
You managed to tell him that you've befriended Abel and he was stunned and gave him the dad glare (you know the one where dads would give to warn others to not hurt their kids right?)
And because it's Abel, he would even make sure to be with you whenever you were with him which made it difficult for you to play with Abel because he might steal you away (Yes I'm looking at you right now kiddo, don't play with Abel)
So in conclusion, if the prank involves you being in a dangerous position, he wouldn't necessarily be scared but would start to panic about your safety
SCP 096 (Shy Guy)
I think 096 would be similar to 106 in a sense but less logical and unfazed
It's more like he would be pretty panicky every time you weren't there with him and his anxiety would act up (like you every time you're preparing for your exams where you didn't even revise)
Like if you were with Safe class SCPs, he would be more relaxed than you being with a Euclid class, but it kinda depends on who it is
If it was Cain then it would be fine, but if you were to be with 173, he would be quite wary at first and would tell you to try and avoid being with that peanut
So if you wanted to scare him, it wouldn't be too hard
All you had to do was to be with another Keter class SCPs and play with them
He would be extremely cautious and terrified if you were with one and knowing this, you've decided that playing with 682 instead of playing with Walter the rabbit (SCP 524 | He's my other pet), you've decided to go up and pet 682
When 096 got a hold on the commission on you being with that lizard, he ran out of his cell, causing a huge containment breach on the way like he's bulletproof, and went yeehaw with 682
All you did was sit there in confusion as they entertained you with some pole dancing
Basically, if you scare 096, he would go from anxious to paranoid to berserk then to we're all going down to hell and back again
Dr Jack bright
This mf right here is unpredictable af
Like in his own body, he would remain unfazed and would even go as far as pranking you back
I mean he still would act all fun and games but since he can possess multiple bodies, the outcome of him being scared would vary which would surprise him too since he wouldn't know
Unless he decided to possess someone he knows well, but he knows better than to do that
Dr Bright would most notably be scared, like everybody else on the list, if you were to put yourself in immediate danger, but since you were just as crazy as your dad, he would most likely go along with it until you deliver your prank
Like, you could be juggling knives while standing on top of 682's head while singing 'Painted Smile' by Madam Macabre (If you haven't heard it, you should, it's amazing)
Also, he would sometimes find you having your back faced towards peanut and still be fine after having your neck being snapped (Yall be like surprise mf)
Anyways, one time Jack had made a promise to you to meet you at a certain place and he was late
So you stormed into his office (like the entitled little nugget you are) and went 'tick-tock mf' to your dad
Well it worked and you showed him your trick with the Keter classes
By causing a containment breach and somehow you managed to bribe the Keter classes to perform with you
Let's just say that just because you've inherited his craziness doesn't mean that you could go as far as doing this prank
Bright was about to drop dead from a heart attack and he banned you from doing such things in the future
Dr Simon Glass
With Simon Glass, you could give him a fright relatively easily
Just because he's a psychologist and can read people rather well, he still would be terrified and paranoid about whatever you were planning on doing
Even if he told you not to
Like that time when you were told to not make toast because you can't cook and you almost burnt the whole facility and Glass stood there and said "I told you so" (he did ask for toast, as in toasted bread, not toasted humans)
Anyways, being the child of Simon Glass meant that you would learn a lot about the human mind and behaviour
He would teach you everything you were curious about and would sometimes ask Diogenes, Light, Kondraki, Cain and Iris to help teach you the things he wouldn't have much knowledge on
And sometimes Clef and Bright would appear and spoil you (not that Glass doesn't, he's just busy and trying to be the best dad he could by being anxious about you being alone in the facility with so many dangerous SCPs)
So this often meant that you, Bright and Clef would pull pranks on each other, usually on Kondraki and Iris
Except for this time, you've decided to pull a prank on your dad, Dr Glass
You've handed him over a realistic model of SCP 058 and he freaked out and called the MTFs
They've checked the model and realised that it was all fake and poor Simon had a heart attack from you
Simon was about to yeet that spider looking thing but it was able to move so he planned to carry you and yeet you both out
He did give you a lecture on doing that stunt and you did shed a few crocodile tears
And yes, Glass gave in and comforted you
He then went to grab Clef and Bright's ears and lectured them about helping you make the prank
Dr Alto Clef
I feel like Clef would be similar to Bright but without the whole process of changing bodies because of some curse
Like Clef wouldn't be all that scared since he's dealt with SCPsbefore and dies an extremely good job at it
So for Clef to be scarred for life, it'll either be an extremely dangerous SCP, he's drunk and/or high, he must care about you a lot and you must've been out of your mind to do something seriously stupid or you're evil enough to piss off a Simon Glass (Or all of the above if you're evil enough)
You would most likely want to take the easier and quicker route out of all the ones mentioned on the list which is to put yourself in an immediate danger
So you had asked Dr Bright for some help and so he did
Moments later, midway through preparing your prank, Clef came to Bright asking if he saw you and he did
However, they heard a familiar scream from down the hallway and they both rushed to your aid and soon realised that it's you
You were about to get eaten by 939 and they had to signal for the MTFs to help (Because you mfs didn't ask me for permission when you wanted to pet 939 D:<)
Clef gave you a big lecture and comforted you after he cooled down
Bright on the other hand wasn't so lucky as Clef wanted to murder him (But in his defence, you didn't tell Bright how dangerous the prank was cuz yall are as stubborn as a rock)
Dr Benjamin Kondraki
Kondraki would be pretty much average when it comes to being scared but with a little more logical since he works with the Foundation
He's that type of dad who would let you go to sleepovers every now and again as long as they weren't of the opposite gender (Unless yall are Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Alien, Basketball etc then he's screwed)
We support BLM and LGBTQ+ in this community and anyone who says otherwise must leave now
Heck, even our friends here, especially Kondraki, Glass, Bright, 999, Cain, Iris and Josie (SCP 529, my new pet) supports them
Anyways, back to the main plot
Depending on what age you're at and whether you were planning to prank him with the Foundation staff or SCPs will lead to a different outcome
Like if you told him you were dating someone he would've died right there and then
No dating until you're 50
Anyhow, you've decided that it'll be funny to scare your dad with Clef and Bright by getting his Bootyflies to shapeshift into various Keter class SCPs and acting like it
And yes, you somehow managed to persuade the Bootiflies to do just that
And no, Kondraki didn't know about this even though he found it odd that his bootiflies didn't obey him that day
You got Kondraki to sit down in a room with Clef while you and Bright was setting up everything
The bootyflies shifted into the Scarlet King and boy sis Kondraki called the MTFs and was boutta shoot him
Everyone in the room had to get him to stop and that it was just a prank (And by everyone I mean just you, Bright and Clef)
Kondraki did manage to stop and was boutta drag you out for a big girl/boy lecture
Well, he did but not before kicked Bright and Clef in their privates first
Needless to say, nobody wanted to prank Kondraki again (Shush, no you don't, yes I'm looking at you from behind the screen and I know that you'll do it again)
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theveryworstthing · 4 years ago
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it’s time for part 2 of the zodiac based Carot cards. Horn cards are horizontal instead of vertical because they’re meant to be placed above the three other suites which lay side by side. the last two suites are tentatively named the Travelers and the Island and now that i know what direction i want to take with them i’ll hopefully get through those in between work. anyway, here’s some lore.
Horn Signs
Horn signs are the second half of the rabbit/hare zodiac system. When a rabbit or hare is born they have sharp little starter horns encased in rubbery membranes that fall off soon after birth. These horns will eventually shed in a process similar to teething when they get older, but before that they’re basically baby’s first shank. A nasty natural surprise for any predator looking for an easy meal or any parent who gets too tired to keep track of the pointy bits on their child.
Your horn sign correlates to how many points your birth horns had. Again, no one takes this seriously lest people start catching their death of prophesy. But since horn points are the way that many parents initially tell kits apart in litters where they look very similar, it’s fun to joke about.
The Horn Suite
1 The Cut Worm: luck, brushes with disaster, and hope. This sign is very rare because to qualify for it you would either have a second horn so small that it’s just a bump on the skull under the skin, or you wouldn’t be born with a second horn at all. While the odd super stubby horn shows up once in a blue moon, missing either horn completely is a sign that the kit is missing pieces of skull, which makes this birth defect life threatening at best.
Some see the Worm as the simple ‘dodged a bullet’ sign and think of it as a totally positive symbol of natural good luck/perseverance. And it can be! But dodging a bullet still means you had to get shot at in the first place, and it doesn’t mean other less fatal bullets don’t hit. Bullets have a tendency to travel in packs. This makes the Worm a complicated sign. It is scars and struggle and survivor’s guilt, but also joy and absolute cussedness when it comes to comes to life. If the universe wants them dead then it can come over and do it itself. Oooh~ you gonna let biology try to do your dirty work? Fuckin’ coward.
2 The Message: curiosity, knowledge, and questions about yourself. Message signs are very introspective. And outrospective. Just spective all over really. What are you willing to do to obtain knowledge? How free you are with information in general? Do you keep all thoughts to yourself? Do you gossip constantly? How good are you at reining in your curiosity? Would it literally kill you to mind your own business?
3 The Sea Hare: seeking and accepting the truth no matter how weird. These signs are believers, dreamers, and realists all at once. The vaguest sign. Weird things always seem to happen to them. Or maybe it’s not that weird things are always happening to them but that they notice and accept the weird things that happen to everyone else as real instead of brushing it off as dreams or tricks of the light. They hate liars or people who embellish facts for whatever reason because they believe that truth is always stranger and more interesting than fiction.
4 The Cocoon: change and liminality. The world is an ever shifting mess and Cocoon signs are more apt to revel in and pay attention to the strange in between spaces. These rabbits are always on journeys. Physical, intellectual, spiritual, whatever, what many would consider destinations end up be rest stops for them before they wander back into the liminal spaces that call to them.
5 The Pepper: navigating risk for personal pleasure. Will this plant get you super high or kill you? Is this person dangerous or just exciting? Are the odds in your favor? Let’s find out. Pepper signs are willing to at least entertain the ideas for a lot of risky business if they think something wonderful can come from it. The ‘take chances, make mistakes, and get messy!’ sign. Their level of common sense usually determines life expectancy (which is true for all creatures but ESPECIALLY these rabbits good lord).
6 The Fungi: personal relationships and connection. Fungi signs are always seeking real connection. If they like you and you show them love and or respect they’re ride or die for you. Good at reading people and figuring out what makes them tick, they can either be the important connective tissue in any community or manipulators who can woo anyone to their side. Depends on how much of an asshole they are.
7 The Hawk Pyre: healing and cycles. When a hawk dies, it burns and burns until there’s nothing but ash and a tiny egg. Rabbits believe this cycle happens endlessly, that the same hawks have had endless lives in endless cycles since hawks turned up in the world. Rabbits under the Hawk sign are very in tune with the cycles of the world. The cycle of seasons, aging, crops, mistakes, fashion, abuse, ect, it’s all patterns. Patterns that they’re good at spotting, flowing with, and breaking. Need someone to help you get your life back together after a tragedy or give pretty good weather forecasts? Ask a Hawk sign! Or don’t, because none of this is real.
8 The Lantern: knowing what is actually worth spending time being worried about. Not everything in the dark is a monster, but that doesn’t mean warning signs are to be ignored. Lantern signs are good at reading situations, especially when it comes to danger and opportunity. They’re good advisers and listeners, able to make connections easily and take many things into consideration at once. Rabbits joke that good warren leaders are usually Lanterns and shitty ones have had their candles blown out long ago.
The Void (2 of these): either something is horribly wrong or everything is fine. I don’t have to explain which card means what, that’s obvious right? Right?
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Entrapdak Positivity Month Day 5: Disability
I just love these two — and regardless of them being antagonists for much of the show, they’re important to me as representation.
From the beginning, Entrapta is the only person not intimidated by Hordak. He’s caught off guard by her lack of fear, and struggles to maintain control of the situation, but Entrapta isn’t easily controllable. She doesn’t react like most of the Etherians Hordak has encountered, so she’s unpredictable for him in a way he clearly isn’t used to.
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Unlike in her relationships with other characters, here Entrapta’s autism isn’t something she has to “overcome.” It’s just part of her, and in fact, it actually drives the formation of their relationship. She’s able to break down the walls Hordak’s put up just by being herself.
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And Hordak definitely has a lot of defenses that he never expected anyone to try breaking through, let alone succeed. He’s used to pushing everyone away by maintaining the image of someone frightening and powerful. Presumably, this is partly fear of appearing weak which is pretty justified considering how Catra takes advantage of it as soon as she finds out, and partly the shame Prime taught him to feel about his disability.
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Fortunately for them both, it doesn’t work on Entrapta. Hordak doesn’t scare her, he fascinates her — and she wants to help him.
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And she tells him things he really needs to hear as someone dealing with a ton of internalized ableism from abuse, and even builds him an assistive device as soon as she finds out about his chronic illness.
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(god i just. love this scene)
Although Entrapta is a lot more self-assured than Hordak is, she has some significant insecurities too — and it’s not hard to see why, when pretty much everyone treats her like this:
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would be cooler if the show portrayed this as a bad thing but at least it’s realistic lol
I think a lot of autistic people, myself included, know the feeling of being grudgingly kept around just because you’re useful in some way, but not really understood or liked. With the princesses, Entrapta has to accept this as the closest she can get to friendship — and she tries to.
At first, she may seem unbothered by it, but she’s all too aware that she doesn’t fit in with most people. That’s what makes it so easy for Catra to convince her that the other princesses left her behind. They might think she's unable to notice the way they act toward her, but she does notice, and it hurts.
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That’s part of what makes her relationship with Hordak so important. Yes, she helps him a lot, but it’s not one-sided either. He’s the one person who consistently listens to her and respects her, even before they become close.
They both introduce each other to a kind of respect (and love) they aren’t used to receiving, and may not feel worthy of at first, due to ableism and abuse. They understand each other, they help each other, and their relationship is mutually beneficial.
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bonus Relatable Neurodivergent Moods with Entrapta:
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the “no no I swear I’m listening even though I look like I’m not” lol
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and the “wait shit you’re mad?? what did I do? why didn’t you just tell me?”
Also, this scene with Hordak is so relatable for chronic illness/pain:
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It’s exhausting trying to keep going when your body is falling apart and seems to be working against you at every turn, especially when you have to hide that you’re struggling and hold yourself to the same standards as a healthy person.
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anyway, in conclusion: Entrapdak are good rep and I love them. thank u for coming to my ted talk.
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lin-nin · 4 years ago
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Tribulation & Tenderness - Chapter 12
Ship: Main Technoblade x Reader, some Dream x Reader Plot: You're a princess in a Kingdom suffering a years long famine. In a     desperate attempt to help your people, you accept one simple offer: Marriage to the crown prince of a neighboring kingdom. Anything to help your people survive. Surely it can't be too bad, can it? Chapter List: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 Disclaimer:   Cross-posted on Wattpad (discontinued) and Ao3. This is based off of everyone's CHARACTERS. I do not write fanfic based off the actual people.
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Chapter 12: Called In Favors
< | Previous Chapter The weeks had blurred together once you had properly settled into your new home. Your days were spent often either reading something you found in the library that wasn't at your castle, or training with Techno. The training had been rough on you, horribly so. Bruises were blooming all over your body, especially your back. Despite getting better on your feet and with your response time to Techno, he never failed to knock you down at least a dozen times before calling it a day. It was frustrating, but definitely served to motivate you.
The boys had taken to watching you sometimes, with Tommy and Tubbo cheering you on. Wilbur would sometimes call out advice from the sidelines, and it was something you were thankful for. Beyond the training, you often met with Eret to go over wedding plans. The two of you had grown extremely close over the weeks, swapping stories as he fussed over your dress. You appreciated his friendship like no other, extremely content to have made a proper friend.
The wedding was only a couple of days away now, and you were giddily pacing around Eret. He laughed at you, moving to grab your arm to stop you. “Relax, pacing isn’t going to make them show up any sooner,” He murmured, and you couldn’t help the impatient way you twirled.
“I know. I just miss them and want them to hurry up,” You practically whined, toying with the sleeves of your dress. Dream and George were supposed to be showing up today, and staying for about a week. Excitement coursed through you the moment you had woken up, the excitement blatantly clear in your eyes.
“You miss them, don’t you?” He gave you a soft look and smile, letting go of your arm to let you pace again. 
“Always. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be, but I still miss them. George is my brother, I naturally miss his guidance. Dream is my partner in crime, we’ve always been joined at the hip. I feel lost without him by my side.” You paused by the window, peering out at the courtyard. Tubbo and Tommy were squaring off, pointing swords at each other. It was always interesting to watch them fight, how seriously they could take it, swinging as if they had the intent to take a limb off each other. Only to turn around a few moments later and tackle the other and laugh, as if they weren’t practically at each other's throat. It was endearing in a sweet way.
“I see. I suppose your restlessness would make sense, then.” He wandered over to stand beside you, watching Tommy and Tubbo as well. The two swung their swords at one another, practically anticipating one another’s movements. You yearned to have the added danger of sharp objects in your training. While you did enjoy the hand-to-hand, it wasn’t nearly as exciting as what you were watching.
“Do you think Techno will let me fight with my dagger any time soon?” You mused, turning to look at Eret. He hummed, shrugging slightly.
“He’s probably going to try and make sure your hand-to-hand is nearly perfect before he lets you actively touch your dagger.” You pouted at that, huffing a little.
“That’s boring, it gets so repetitive. Not that it isn’t useful, of course it is. I was just hoping to learn to use a weapon much sooner.” You grumbled, moving away from the window. The ballroom had most of its decorations up, leading to it feeling like a completely different place. You ran your fingers along the table, tracing the grain on the wood.
“It’s good if you’re finding it repetitive. He might actually let you use your dagger soon. Ask him about it later,” Eret laughed, following behind you. As he did, you could hear Tommy yell obscenities at Tubbo, making you shake your head. Loud as ever.
“He better. Wonder if he’ll let me show off for Dream and George.” You gave a crooked grin. You could already imagine the frustration on their faces as you trained. Your training sessions were nearly daily anyways, and you hoped that Techno didn’t choose today of all days for a day off. You really wanted to show off and make it known that you could hold yourself in a battle. Especially with Techno.
“He’s cocky when it comes to his fighting, he’ll want to show off. You won’t even have to ask him.” You couldn’t help but grin at that, eyes alight. Good. You really wanted to be able to see how the two would react. You had a rough feeling on how Dream would react, but you really wanted to see if he would be proud after all of it was said and done. After all, learning to fight from literally nothing wasn’t a small task.
“Good! That’s all I ask for the time being. I’ll ask about my dagger later, then.” Eret only gave you an amused look, watching you return to wandering around the room. You were just incredibly eager to see your brother again. Even though it was for your wedding, a thought that had your stomach flipping. You still had trouble picturing it as your own wedding, despite the fact you had helped through every single step of it.
“It’ll probably have to wait until after your marriage. It’s already bad enough you’re all bruised up before the wedding, we don’t need any cuts showing up,” Eret teased and you huffed, acutely aware of how it would look. Neither George nor Dream would be pleased about the bruises on your forearms from blocking hits from Techno. Not that you cared too much what they thought about them. You were happy that they were there because it meant you were learning. You were improving on top of it, too. You had to be.
“I suppose I can be okay with that. After the wedding I better be using my dagger, or Techno is gonna have a few problems.” You settled your hands on your hips, puffing out your chest.
“Somehow I doubt you could give him very many problems.” Eret’s laugh was contagious, easily breaking through your initial pout.
“Maybe I could, you don’t know!” You wandered to stand beside him, peering as he messed with some of the decorations, making sure they sat as he wanted. “Do we need to do a final dress fitting?”
“No, the only thing you need to do is take it easy and prepare yourself for your wedding tomorrow.” Eret reached over, patting your shoulder. You huffed. You had been antsy the entire time, wanting to make sure everything was perfect. While it was an arranged marriage, it was still your one and only wedding. You were going to make sure things were perfect for it. As much as you could, anyways.
“That means do nothing until George and Dream get here. Who knows when that’ll be,” You whined, dramatically leaning against him. He laughed, head shaking.
“Realistically? Anytime soon. Didn’t the prince say they were planning to leave early morning?” You nodded at the question, craning your head towards the main hall. They would be arriving soon, and it caused excited butterflies to swirl around your stomach. Eret noticed, pushing you gently towards the door. “Go wait for them before you wear a path into the floor.”
You didn’t need to be told twice, grinning thankfully at your friend as you took off towards the door. The morning sun beat down on the ground outside, and you giddily went to the same spot Philza, Tommy, Tubbo, and Wilbur had stood for your arrival. You rocked back and forth on your heels, staring down the stone path expectantly. As if they would appear if you so much as blinked.
“You seem excited,” A voice mused from beside you. You yelped in surprise, jumping a little. Techno stood beside you, looking down in amusement at you. When the hell had he snuck up on you? Were you really that focused on Dream and George’s arrival?
“I am, I missed them,” you replied, turning your gaze towards the path again. A fond smile was painted on your face, eyes bright with excitement.
“They should be here soon. The carriage was seen pulling into the capital not too long ago.” The words only fuelled your excitement, and it took everything in you to not start pacing again. You really were restless with the excitement, the movement felt like the only way to expel it. Other than being able to hug George properly. You simply continued to rock on your heels, excitedly listening out for the sound of them. Under the assumption you didn’t see them first.
You heard the steady pace of horse hooves before you saw the carriage, though you stood on your tip-toes. You grasped onto Techno’s arm for balance as you craned in an attempt to see. From your peripheral you could see him look at you, that amused smile on his face. His hand covered yours on his arm, allowing you to properly look for the carriage as it pulled up.
You were practically bouncing when it came to a stop, fingers curling into Techno’s arm. You didn’t even care who came out of the damned thing first, you were going to hug them. Techno laughed as you stared, watching the door open with such eager anticipation. You launched yourself away from Techno, throwing yourself at the man who stepped out of the carriage.
Arms wrapped around you, a startled laugh ringing in your ears as you were spun around before your feet returned to the ground. “Good to see you too.” You pulled back a little, grinning at George fondly.
“I missed you so much,” You held onto him tight, not wanting too much to part.
“It’s been a rough few weeks, hasn’t it?” He reached up to ruffle your hair, much to your protest.
“Did you miss me too?” Dream’s voice called as he stepped down onto the stone. Excitement lit up your face as you untangled yourself from your brother.
“Dream!” You called excitedly as you threw yourself at him next. He picked you up as your arms wrapped around his neck, holding you tight against him. “Of course I missed you, idiot. You never replied to any of my letters.” You buried your face into his neck, relishing the familiar scent of fresh linen and roses, as well as the sharp tang of metal. It was comforting to smell it again.
“I was busy with a few things, but I promised I read each and every one of them,” He assured you, hands squeezing your waist. Techno cleared his throat from behind the two of you, and you sheepishly pulled away from your friend at that. You offered Dream a gentler smile, turning to offer it to Techno as well. The same look he had given Dream back when you set off in the carriage, except it was a little more off putting now that you could actually see his facial expression. The down tilt of his mouth, the way his eyes were narrowed. It was enough to make you take a few large steps back from Dream, closer to Techno.
“I’m glad to see you made it here safely. I take it the trip was okay?” Techno mainly addressed George as he spoke, and you wandered back to his side. Standing between George and Dream held a different feeling than it had previously. George followed when Techno moved towards the castle. His hand settled in the middle of your lower back to guide you, an action that made heat rise to your cheeks. You were used to him resting a hand on your back, but it was always between your shoulder blades.
“It was, thank you. Have things been fine here?” George upheld the conversation, and you just let the two of them talk. Between the hand on your back and the heated stare you could feel burning holes into you, you didn’t think you trusted your voice at the moment.
“I’ll let you show them around. Come to the courtyard when you’re finished,” Techno addressed you, hand finally moving away from your back. You missed the touch just the slightest, but met Techno’s pointed look evenly. For training. He meant to meet him there to train. A smile blossomed on your face as it clicked.
“Alright, I shouldn’t take too long.” You watched him leave towards the courtyard, but not before he narrowed his eyes at Dream once more. It was going to be a long week, wasn’t it? You tried to ignore it, focusing instead on showing them around.
“He’s much less intimidating without the mask,” George mused, and you couldn’t help but laugh.
“He’s only intimidating when he wants to be.” You led them towards the east wing, entirely forgoing the west wing. It was mostly just servants quarters and work rooms, so truly Dream and George didn’t need to know too much about it. You informed them as much, too.
“Where’s your dagger?” Dream questioned as you lead them into the dining hall, causing you to look at your hip. You hadn’t been wearing it since you never used it yet, and taking it off during training was just an extra step you didn’t care for.
“I haven’t learned to use it yet, though I’ll probably start learning to use it after the wedding.” You grinned bright, and George made a sound of disagreement.
“I still don’t think you need to be learning to fight. Surely you won’t be in a position where Technoblade can’t protect you.” You shrugged, leading them down the wings and pointing out various rooms.
“I don’t think I will be put into the position, but it doesn’t hurt to have the knowledge should it be needed.” You led them up the stairs next, heading towards the rooms they would be staying in.
“Just don’t get yourself hurt. I don’t want to get a letter about that.” Dream gave you a pointed look and you laughed, head shaking. 
“I won’t! I take good care of myself!” You defended, watching them examine the rooms. When they were satisfied and returned to your side, excitement bubbled in your stomach. This meant you were closer to training, all you had to do was change and head to the courtyards.
“Going to come with me to the courtyard?” You asked with an excited smile, heading in the direction of your room. 
“I don’t see why not. You seem awfully excited.” George raised an eyebrow and you grinned, peering out of the windows as you passed the ones that overlooked the courtyard. You could see the training patch from here, and you could very clearly see Techno on it, across from Philza. Both had swords drawn, practically dancing around each other and calculating the others movements. They moved with a sense of clear familiarity, around both each other and their blades. It wasn’t the first time you had seen Techno train using his sword, but it always enraptured you every time.
“I am.” Your voice was soft as George and Dream also glanced out the windows to see what you were looking at. Just in time for Techno to knock Philza’s sword out of his hand, the weapon bouncing along the ground. His shoulders heaved, a cocky grin on his face when his uncle raised his hands in defeat. He sheathed the sword, hand raising to wipe sweat from his brow. He’d clearly been training from the moment he’d been out there.
As if aware you were watching his gaze tilted up, looking towards the window. More specifically, towards you. He gave a grin your way, hand raising in a small wave which you couldn’t help but return. He raised his eyebrows, almost as if a silent question on if you were almost done and you couldn’t help but nod excitedly. From beside you, Dream huffed, especially at the smug smile on Techno’s face. You didn’t care, simply moving away from the window to move to your room faster.
“I have to change, but then we can go to the courtyard.” You practically ran into your room, eager to change into your pants and boots as opposed to the dress. You eyed the exposed bruises on your forearms, knowing full and well the reaction you were about to get. You slid out of your room, grinning up at George and Dream. “Okay, so, I may be about to go train-” You slowly started, warily eyeing their reactions. George made a noise of protest, eyes going wide. Dream shot a hand out, grabbing your wrist and lifting your arm up. The dim lighting in the hall illuminated the bruises of varying shades, as well as the scowl on Dream’s face.
“This is what happens when you train? You’re covered in bruises!” Dream demanded and you flinched a little, slipping your arm from his grasp.
“It’s from blocking hits, it’s not like he’s trying to hurt me,” You grumbled, sidestepping the blonde. The look on his face had made you uneasy, and you didn’t want to look at it. You just wanted to get to the courtyard. 
“You don’t know that! There’s no telling if he wants to hurt you or not!” Dream persisted from behind you. You took a breath, pausing on the stairs and looking at him.
“Dream, I am absolutely fine. You’ll see.” You didn’t give him too much time to react, darting down the stairs. You didn’t want a lecture- you wanted to train. You wanted to have fun. You could hear the two following behind you, as well as George’s soft muttering. Presumably he was reassuring the taller, but you didn’t care to listen to what they were saying.
The warmth of the sun was definitely welcome as it hit your skin. It was a familiar feeling, and you couldn’t help the eager grin on your face as you looked to Techno. He offered you a faint smile as he messed with his hair. He tugged it back, looping it into a loose bun. You raised an eyebrow at it, coming to stand across from him. “Taking this seriously enough to pull your hair back?” You questioned, swinging your arms across your chest in a stretch.
“I have to show your brother how much you’ve improved, don’t I?” He shifted, taking up a fighting stance once more. You naturally fell in line, mimicking his stance. George awkwardly stood to one side, Dream watching with a glare and his arms across his chest. Back behind Techno stood Philza, curiosity clear in his gaze. He hadn’t particularly watched the two of you train in the past, so it seemed now was the time he picked. Tommy and Wilbur were sat on the ground at his feet, watching with varying curiosity and interest.
You rolled your shoulders, before charging at Techno as you often did. You didn’t even have to think too much anymore, feigning to one side and shooting a hand out to clip his side. He had made sure very early on you learned to use your size to your advantage. That showed here as he turned, moving to hit you. You narrowly blocked the hand with your arm, jumping back as his foot shot out. The hit would have landed on your calf had it landed, and you were kinda thankful it had missed this time.
He didn’t relent on you as you danced on your toes, exchanging hits evenly. You stumbled when his hand passed your face, making you dodge to your best ability. You swung a fist out in retaliation, and he easily caught it. He swung it, pinning the arm behind your back. One hand moved towards your neck, hovering as if he had a knife. If he did, the blade would be very near your neck. Blood rushed in your ears, the adrenaline pumping. You were effectively trapped and defeated.
"I think I win this round," He murmured against your ear, and the blood rushed to your face. You were suddenly very aware of the way your back pressed to his chest. You were also vaguely aware of Tommy making disgusted gagging noises from the side.
"It would seem so," You managed to say back, voice barely short of a squeak. He unhanded you, allowing you to slip away from him. Your heart thundered as you took up your spot once more, looking at Techno’s family. Philza had this bemused look on your face, whereas Wilbur looked almost bored and Tommy looked disgusted. Your ears flushed and you focused in Techno once more, hands raised.
"Fight me," Dream's voice interrupted as he stepped into the middle of you and Techno. You blinked up at the blonde, turning to look at George. George had simply shrugged and you looked back towards Dream. Techno had stepped around him, an almost agitated look on his face.
"I was under the impression you didn't want her fighting?" He levelled Dream with a glare, which Dream only seemed to take in stride. Your stomach twisted anxiously, eyes darting between the two men.
"I don't but clearly you're going to teach her anyways." The way venom practically dripped from Dream's voice was worrisome, a trait you had only seen in him once or twice before.
"Well her future is here, so I think it matters more what I want and what she wants." He inclined his head, looking at him down the bridge of his nose. Tommy had leaned over to whisper to Wilbur, glancing at the two uneasily. Techno's fingers had twitched towards one of his swords, and it seemed like Dream was thinking similarly.
"Hey, its fine! I'll train with him! It'll be good to fight someone I'm not familiar with!" You exclaimed as you moved forwards, slotting yourself between them. You pushed at both of their chests, hoping to diffuse the situation. Dream gave Techno a smug smirk, and Techno simply sighed with a nod.
"Fine," He relented, taking a few steps back. He stood beside Philza, looking none too pleased.  You stepped back from Dream, returning to your spot. You could, at the very least, spar with him. So long as it kept the situation from escalating. He didn't wait for you to be ready like Techno often did, instead going straight for you.
You spun on your toes, yelping and dodging out of the way from the hit aimed towards your stomach. You rebounded from the initial shock, spinning again to smack your heel against his thigh. The slight wince that crossed his face immediately brought satisfaction bubbling up, a smile on your face. You weren’t given much time to celebrate the hit, though. You had to react fast, meeting each hit with your own. You winced a little as he struck your wrist, cursing under your breath.
His hits and timing were a lot less forgivable than Techno’s, having an edge to him that you were never quite prepared for. Your eyebrows knitted together as you punched at his shoulder on his bad side, knocking him off balance. His hand shot out, grasping onto your wrist and dragging you down with him. You yelped in surprise, his back slamming into the ground. His body padded you're fall, a small thing you were thankful for.
You weren't given too much time to contemplate the next course of action, getting thrown off of his chest. He rolled the pair of you over, leaving you pinned to the ground beneath him. His hand moved, mimicking as Techno had earlier. Like if he had a knife it would be pressed to your neck.
"I win," Dream whispered and leaned down, smug smirk still on his face. You huffed beneath him, shoving slightly at his hand at your defeat.
"Alright, you win. Now get off of me," You grumbled. You pouted a little and pushed at his shoulder, ignoring the way the smugness vanished. He complied, getting off of you and allowing you to sit up.
"You still have a lot of work to do." His voice came from above you, and you rolled your shoulders. You glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. 
"I haven't been training that long, of course I still need to learn." You placed your hands up under you, moving to push yourself up. Before you could, Techno’s all too familiar hand came into sight, offering to help you. He had inserted himself between you and Dream, a frown tugging at his lips. You easily took his hand, allowing him to pull you up. You stumbled as he did so with a little more force than necessary, colliding into his chest with a squeak.
"She did fine. She's not some delicate flower who needs you to keep her thorns clipped." He hardly seemed bothered by you being pressed to his chest, only seeming focused on staring down Dream. You carefully pulled away from Techno’s chest, though you continued to linger by him.
"I never said she was,” Dream spat, causing your nervousness to rise.
“Dream-” George started, moving to grab his friend’s shoulder.
“You didn’t say it explicitly, but your actions said it well enough.” You raised a hand, gently pressing it on Techno’s upper arm.
“Techno-” You murmured softly, moving to push him away. The two glowered at each other, though Techno did allow you to move him. You ushered him towards his brothers, glancing back at Dream nervously. Whatever tension was between these two was quite dangerous, and you didn’t like it. “Dream, maybe you and George should go to your rooms for right now.” Your voice was tense, unsure if the blonde would listen.
“She’s right, Dream.” George’s voice was low as he moved the younger back. For a moment, it seemed like he was going to refuse. Dream pushed George off of him, turning and heading towards the castle. George shot you an apologetic look, chasing after him. You breathed a sigh of relief, rubbing your face.
“I’m sorry, I don’t know what got into him,” You apologized to Techno, who finally looked to you again.
“What a dickhead,” Tommy chimed, a frown on his face as he looked towards the castle. You sighed, not even knowing how to respond. 
“Is he always like that?” Wilbur raised an eyebrow at you, drawing your attention to him.
“Not usually. He’s never done any of that before.” You turned back to Techno, watching him closely. His brows were furrowed, irritation sparkling in his eyes.
“Enough about him. We need to keep training you. Philza.” Techno turned towards his uncle. The older man walked forward, raising an eyebrow. “Go tell Ranboo I need a favor from him. Keep an eye on him,” He muttered softly, eyes cutting towards where Dream had left. Philza followed the gaze and nodded, leaving Techno’s full attention to focus on you. 
“Round two?” You questioned softly with a smile, eager for distraction. As Philza left towards the castle, Techno took up his normal stance and motioned for you. Sparring was better than dealing with whatever dramatics Dream had, and easier than wondering what this favor was that Techno called in from whoever Ranboo was.
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angstymarauder · 4 years ago
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His Time of the Month {R.L} (Part 2)
Remus Lupin x Female!reader part 1
summary: You know about your boyfriends lycanthropy and you love him regardless, but sometimes the words he speaks on the days leading up to the full moon still hurt. A lot.  
word count: 1.1kish
contains: angst, troubles with self-worth, ending is left up to interpretation
a/n: the reader has trouble with self-worth in this and I would just like to say that your feelings and self-worth should NEVER EVER rely on the words of others, especially those of your loved ones. I know how hard it is to hear people, who say they love you, ridicule you, and say things that make you feel like shit. And its like - you know they don’t mean to hurt you, but it doesn't change how much pain you feel. I’ve been there (and sometimes I still go there) and while it is a big process filled with tears, cutting people off, arguments defending yourself, and just a lot a lot a lot of self-acceptance, it is possible to stop letting them get to you. YOU are the only validation you need. I love you for who you are and you should love yourself for who you are. My messages are always open, loves <3
He messed up.
And he knew he messed up, but his own mind was working against him and at that moment his rational mind couldn’t overpower the anger that had been building up all day.
Always his enemy, he wanted to blame the lycanthropy, but his rational mind knew that this was all his fault. You have been nothing but loving and understanding about everything when it came to his condition. Night after night you had sat there, taking his screaming and yelling, trying to calm him down, never leaving an argument with unresolved issues, but tonight he watched himself jump over the line that you had pushed back for his time and time again.
Remus stood in the now-empty tower, the sounds of your fading footsteps running down the stairs, each step another ache in his chest. The anger in his mind was screaming at your retreating footsteps. Words of detest, saying that you hated him. That you gave up on him. That you thought he was a monster just like everyone else. But the rational part of his mind sat in the back of his head screaming the truth over all the other noise and he knows he can’t blame you for this. He knows this is his fault. And somehow that idea just made him even angrier.
Angry at his lycanthropy. Angry at the world. Angry at everyone else.
But most of all, he was angry at himself, because he never wanted to hurt you.
Because he doesn't know what he would do without you. Losing you would be the worst thing that could ever happen to him. It would be like ripping all the pieces of his human heart straight out of his chest, leaving only the animalistic urges that show themselves once a month. Without you he might as well never transform back, find a way to stay a werewolf forever.
Suddenly Remus’ senses pick up on footsteps, coming up the stairs this time. He knew whose steps those belonged to, so when James opened the door to the West Tower, Remus was not surprised. Breathlessly, from running up all those stairs, James said “what…. the fuck …. is happening ….up …. here?” taking a breath in between each couple of words.
Running his scarred fingers through his hair, Remus turned to look at his sweaty friend. “I fucked up. I fucked up big time.” He began pacing, the events becoming clearer and more realistic in his mind with each word, “With y/n, I fucked up big time.”
· · · ∞ · · ·
“HE SAID WHAT?” screamed Marlene, now pacing around your shared dorm room, “I’m going to kill that lanky-ass son-of-a-bitch.”
“Marls, please,” Lily spoke softly after glancing at your tired expression. Heartache tends to wear a person out.
The redhead sat down beside you at the edge of your bed, running her hand up and down your back, allowing you to relax a little more. Whispering in your ear so the others didn’t hear, she spoke, “listen, just wait until Tuesday, after the full moon once he’s all cooled down, and then talk to him, ok?”
You nodded at her words even though they barely entered your mind, your head already racing with thoughts you couldn’t bring yourself to say out loud. Lily soon ushered you to sleep, the exhaustion evident in your eyes.
But you couldn’t fall asleep. Questions floating around as your brain sprinted marathons in your head, trying to answer them, and coming up with nothing. Could you ever trust Remus again? How do you know that the next time you fight he won’t say those words again? Did he mean them? Or was it his lycanthropy? How much of these arguments can you even blame on his lycanthropy? And when does it become his fault? You can’t use his lycanthropy as an excuse for everything, but you also don’t want to use it against him….
Did he mean them? That was the question your mind kept circling back around to. Did he mean them? Are your worst fears and deepest insecurities true? Are you good enough? If the person who has told you they’re in love with you, time and time again, doesn’t think so, then how are you supposed to?
Tossing and turning, you woke up, no less tired than the night before. It took effort to get dressed that morning, almost wanting to stay in bed all day, but knowing you couldn’t. Marlene, Lily, and Mary persuaded you to breakfast in the Great Hall. You avoided Remus, in fact, you avoided all of the Marauders. Their presence, only a reminders of your bleeding heart. Remus seemed to be giving you space and, for that, you were grateful. But just the mere sight of him sent you back to your bedroom where you spent the rest of the day, claiming illness to your professors.
· · · ∞ · · ·
It was 3am, you assumed, as you got out of bed. In only your pajamas you quietly made your way through the halls without interruption. Your feet leading you to the top of the astronomy tower where you stared at the sky.
The full moon. Your voice quivered above a whisper as you cast a small silencing spell before allowing sobs to begin escaping your mouth. You thought about Remus as you stared into the moon. Hearing his howls in the distance, you couldn’t help yourself from asking the stars to keep a watch over him.
· · · ∞ · · ·
They found you passed out in the astronomy tower, Lily and Mary, your tear-stained cheeks and dark circles made your previous actions evident. Your roommates came searching for you as soon as they woke up to find your bed empty.
Mary insisted on taking you to the infirmary. Lily, as the only other girl who knew about Remus’ lycanthropy, tried to stop it, but Mary wasn’t hearing it.
Your body began to wake up, your consciousness returning to you slowly, allowing yourself to regain feeling in your fingers and your toes before attempting to open your eyes.
You’ve been in the infirmary plenty of times to visit Remus, but you’ve never been in one of the beds before. You don’t even remember how you got here. Sorting through your memories you last remember being in the astronomy tower staring at… the moon. It was the full moon last night, which means -
“Hey.” He spoke softly. You could feel his eyes staring into your figure. Remus was so surprised when he woke up in the infirmary, the night after one of his worst full moons, to see you two beds over. Your skin lacked its normal shine and tears still stained your beautiful lips. His heart ached over knowing that it was he who caused them. He knows that James said to give you some time, but seeing you here like this, he had to let you know how sorry he was.
You turn to face him, your eyes locking almost instantly, “hey.”
His eyes bore into yours, an expression of complete love, sorrow, and vulnerability filled every inch of them and as he spoke the words, “I’m sorry,” you knew they were true.
lol i was so confused on how to end this and every ending I wrote felt wrong so I'm just gonna leave it up to your imaginations, sorry
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vivianweasley · 4 years ago
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Let Her Go (F.W. x Reader)
Summary: “Only know you love her when you let her go.” childhood friends to lovers, unrequited love
Prompt: This is for @vogueweasley‘s 1K writing challenge and the prompt is #44 “What am I in your life? Because as of lately I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.” Congrats again lovely!!
Pairing: Fred Weasley x Fem!Reader
Warnings: angst to a bit of fluff, unrequited love, mention of alcohol (Fred being drunk), language (one curse word), Fred being stupid
Word count: 2.2k
A/N: Did I write another friends to lovers with unrequited love? Yes, but I love this idea and I’m just writing to cope. The inspiration is Let Her Go by Passenger! Hope you guys would like it! (Also, let’s pretend they used telephone)
Special thanks to @valwritesx for the support<3
Disclaimer: all the pictures used in the header are from Pinterest. Credit goes to the original owners.
Please do NOT repost or translate my work on another site without explicit permission! Thank you! Reblogs and comments are always welcome:)
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In your memories, you were always following Fred Weasley around.
You followed him around when he and George were throwing dungbombs in their neighbor’s garden. You were six, and he was seven.
You followed him around when it was your first year at Hogwarts. You were an awkward first year, but he has already established quite a reputation.
You followed him everywhere. Whether it was a quidditch game or detention, you were always there with him. Some people called you his sidekick, but you never really minded because you were absolutely head over heels for him.
You knew he knew about your stupid little crush; you weren’t trying to hide your feelings anyway. And you knew that your feelings weren’t reciprocated, but that didn’t matter. Loving him was your own business. Plus, you knew that at least you meant something to him, so you’ve still got a chance.
You loved him with all your heart and without a doubt. It was one-sided and lonely, but you never cared. Well, at least not until now.
~
It was your party to celebrate receiving a brilliant job offer from America. All of your friends were there.
“I’m so happy for you! But I’m also gonna miss you a lot!” George exclaimed for like the twentieth time today.
You chuckled, “I know, Georgie, I’ll miss you too! And I’m not leaving until the end of the next month. I’ve still got a lot to take care of before I go.” Now that you were actually talking about leaving, the whole concept of living in another country so far away finally began to feel more realistic. “There are just so many things and people I’ll miss.”
“By people, you mean Fred, right?” Ginny teased, “Speaking of which, where is he?”
“I don’t know. He promised he would come,” you replied, couldn’t control the blush that was climbing up your cheeks.
Ginny was right. Of course you were going to miss all of your friends dearly, but you were also going to miss Fred just a little more than the others. And that’s why you were a bit disappointed that he was so late to your party. You couldn’t stop yourself from checking the clock and the door every now and then. The butterflies in your stomach started dancing whenever you heard something outside, but they always die down when you realized it wasn’t him.
The clock soon struck 12, and when you were saying goodbye to the last of the guests, you finally accepted the fact that Fred was not going to show up tonight. 
~
You were helping at the joke shop the next day, and it was already noon when you heard Fred walking down the stairs. 
“Morning,” you could still hear the sleepiness in his voice, and you could tell from his messy hair and puffy eyes that it was a hangover. You frowned a little but you tried not to overthink. Surely he had a good reason, right?
“It’s already noon, brother,” George asked the question for you, “where were you last night?”
“I ran into Lee after work, and we went to the pub. Why?”
“Why? It was Y/N’s party last night, you forgot?”
“Wait, it was last night? Ah shit, I forgot. I’m sorry Y/N,” he turned to look at you. You could see the sorry on his face, but you couldn’t hear it in his voice. You knew that expression all too well. It was the same reaction whenever he got caught playing pranks on someone. He was saying that he’s sorry, but you knew he didn’t mean it.
“Fred, you do realize that she’s leaving soon, right?” George was finding this unbelievable too.
“Oh c’mon, last time I checked, we still have something called a portkey. And I’m sure Y/N will be visiting us pretty often, right Y/N?” The carelessness in his voice stung you.
Hurt, mixed with anger, was rushing to your brain. It was the moment that struck you, a moment that should have happened a long time ago. 
You always thought that even though Fred didn’t love you back, at least you were still a very important friend to him. But now you’ve finally realized that maybe this was just another self-comforting lie. It was not the first time he forgot something about you, and it seemed like he never cared anyway. 
“What am I in your life?” You asked quietly, “Because as of lately, I feel as though I’ve been nothing to you.”
“What are you saying? Y/N, you’re not making any sense.”
“I always thought it’s alright that my feelings aren’t reciprocated because it’s just my own business. But I’m not just that stupid girl who has a crush on you; I’m also your friend! And friends shouldn’t treat friends like nothing.” Your voice sounded calm, but tears were streaming down your face, “It was always me who’s looking for you and thinking about you, but friendship takes two, Fred. Maybe you should start trying too.” 
Then you just stormed out of the joke shop, before George could try to talk you round and before Fred could probably tell a joke to laugh it off.
~
One week later, you left for your new job in a hurry. You said goodbye to every one of your friends, except for Fred. 
Fred was feeling guilty but also confused. Why did you snap like that? What he did was surely just a small mistake, right? And he wasn’t too worried. He was sure that you would forgive him and come back to him. You always do. In fact, he was convinced that he could see you again the next holiday. 
Halloween night, George had plans, so Fred was in charge of closing up tonight. Looking at the empty bowl of sweets on the counter, Fred thought about you. You always remembered to fill it up, especially around Halloween.
The autumn wind was getting cold, and he pulled his coat tighter as he walked outside. The kids on the street were all dressed up, going from door to door trick-or-treating. Fred remembered how you two and George would always go trick-or-treating together on Halloween since you were kids. Even after you all grew up, you would still drag him to go with you. But now he was walking alone in his business suit, on his way home. This moment he felt as if the kid inside him has left with you.
When he got home, he turned on the TV and started switching channels absentmindedly. You should be there, suggesting to watch a horror movie, but then deciding on something family-friendly. You would always try to have a Halloween movie marathon but end up falling asleep, lying on his shoulder. He found it adorable, but he never told you that.
Fred sighed as he laid back on the couch. This was the first Halloween without you.
~
Christmas morning, Fred walked downstairs, noticing something was different in the air. The Burrow was quieter. Sure, most of his family were already up and were gathered around the Christmas tree, chatting and laughing. But you weren’t there.
You weren’t there, showing up at the Burrow way too early in the morning. You weren’t there knocking on his door and waking him up using a cheerful, sing-song voice. He would always groan and tell you to give him five more minutes. But this year, when he woke up to the mechanical sound of the alarm clock, he really missed your cheerful voice.
Fred walked downstairs with everyone wishing him a Merry Christmas, but his eyes were searching the crowd for a glimpse of you that was just impossible to be found. This was the first Christmas without you.
~
New Year’s Eve, Fred and George were at the local pub’s New Year countdown party, along with the other boys. Just like usual, the boys had too much drink and passed out in the pub.
When Fred was only half-awake, he heard your voice calling him, “Freddie! C’mon, let’s get you home!” A soft smile appeared on his lips. You were back! He knew you would be back for the new year. He knew you wouldn’t leave him for too long.
You were always there to pick him up and carry him home after New Year’s party. He was always amazed at how you managed to carry him as he was taller than you, but you were always there for him. He just felt so lucky now to have you in his life, and seeing you in front of him made him smile like an idiot.
You were frowning seeing him lying on the floor, but you soon gave in when you saw that smile. You chuckled and whispered, “Happy New Year, Freddie.” 
The soft smile stayed on Fred’s lips. He felt at home.
When Fred woke up again, he found himself lying on the floor of the pub. The pub was already empty. The boys were already gone. Someone must have picked them up, but there was no one for him. He finally began to realize that it was just a dream. You were still in America, and he was still a loser who’s lying alone on the cold floor on the first day of the new year. 
Fred managed to walk out of the pub. The freezing wind was slapping on his face, trying to sober him up. He walked past a coffee shop. That was your favorite. 
You were all he could think of now. Fred knew that you had a crush on him, but he always believed that it was just a stupid little childhood crush and it would fade as soon as you all grow up. He was just too familiar with you, and familiarity wasn’t what he thought he was looking for in romance.
But you were already in every part of his life. No matter where he goes or what he does, you were always there. But now you weren’t.
There was the first time Fred told a joke, and you weren’t the first to laugh. He loved the way you laugh, for it could always brighten up his whole day, but he never admitted it. 
There was the first time he was humming a song, and you weren’t there to sing along. He loved your voice, for it could always calm him down, but he wouldn’t tell you that.
There was the first time when he realized that he needed you in his life.
The first time when he realized that he loved you more than he thought he did.
It was like muscle memory for him to remember everything about you, but he wasn’t even aware of that, and you obviously didn’t know too. Instead of showing you how much he loved and appreciated you, he just took you for granted because he thought you would never leave. 
Fred dialed your number that night. He thought he might go crazy if he couldn’t hear your voice tonight. As he waited for you to pick up, he felt the inside of his stomach were all twisted together, but it was soon replaced by butterflies when he heard your voice.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Y/N, it’s me, Fred,” he didn’t know why he stuttered, “S-so, I was wondering...do you know where is the photo of us at the station? It was your first year of school. Did you take it with you?”
“No, I gave it to George. Why?” He couldn’t tell your emotion through the phone. Were you annoyed? Or were you happy to hear his voice too?
“Oh, umm, nothing, just missing the old days.” 
“Oh, okay...Anything else?”
There were so many things that he wanted to say. He wanted to tell you that he’s sorry and he missed you so much, but you sounded impatient. So all he managed to say was, “Happy New Year, Y/N.”
There was a few seconds of silence; then he heard you reply, “Happy New Year, Fred.”
Hanging up the phone, Fred felt his heart sank. He hated how emotionless you sounded, and he knew he had to do something. Maybe he couldn’t convince you to come back to him, but at least he owed you an apology.
~
Valentine’s Day. Evening, you walked out of the building you worked in. It was on a wizarding street just like Diagon Alley, so it didn’t take you too long to adjust to the new environment. 
The shops on this street were all having Valentine’s specials, and it reminded you of the Valentine’s specials of Weasleys’ Wizard Wheezes. Fred always had the most interesting and romantic ideas-you shook your head. You promised yourself not to think about him anymore.
A shop at the corner captured your attention. You’ve never seen this shop before. You looked for the name of the shop and the sign above read “WWW’.
Just when you thought you were losing your mind and associating everything with Fred again, the shop owner walked out. 
Fred smiled when he saw you. The same beaming smile that had you head over heels for him for as long as you could remember. “Hi, I'm new here. Would you mind showing me around?”
~
A/N: Sorry if the ending feels a bit rushed! I felt like it made sense to end here so the reader could decide if she wants to forgive him or not. 
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jaeminzie · 4 years ago
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better than words | l.dh
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↳ lee haechan x gender neutral!reader
synopsis: finally taking his friends’ advice, the not-so-cunning donghyuck finds a way to show his profound feelings toward his respectfully patient herbology partner.
genre: fluff
word count: 2,226
a/n: lawd it’s been a while since i’ve posted a fic but here it is ! a week delayed from valentine’s but let’s just pretend it’s the 14th :,]
‘better than words’ by one direction
part of ‘the dreamies in hogwarts’ series
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like most hufflepuffs, you have a natural interest and talent with every living thing, including plants. herbology is one of the classes that you excell at and enjoy doing. though, the hufflepuff class had to deal with the subject with none other than the slytherins.
students walked into the greenhouse chatting, but soon became quiet once professor sprout called out for your attention, “everyone! in celebration of valentine’s day, i came up with the brilliant idea of hosting a contest! the objective is to successfully cast the herbivicus charm on a rose. this charm is used to rapidly grow whatever plant you desire.” everyone looked at each other warily, completely uninterested in some gardening spell. “since this spell needs precise movements, you will need a partner to help guide you.”
immediately, students began making eye contact with their preferred partners. lee donghyuck turned his head slightly toward your body standing next to him and nibbled his bottom lip. your relationship with donghyuck was rather interesting. being seatmates in this class, you choose to be kind and offer help whenever you see him struggling which would usually not be accepted by the boy. you believed his attitude was because of professor sprout moving him all the way at the front of the class next to you in punishment of being the initiator of constant disruption with his friends stood at the back. you didn’t mind the silence though. but in reality, donghyuck wasn’t sure how to talk to you without being too straightforward as he’s been told many times that he is slightly too shameless. he was afraid to say or do anything that could potentially hurt your feelings when he’d had no intention in doing so.
“to make it easier for everyone, your partner will be the person standing next to you.” professor sprout said her ‘good luck’s’ before dismissing us to work on the assignment. “whoever perfects the charm first wins.” she smiles before heading toward her desk covered in plant roots in the corner.
taking a deep breath before turning to the boy, you greeted him — to which he replied with a simple nod and pursed lips while avoiding eye contact. you cleared your throat at the awkwardness prior to politely asking, “do you want to be the one monitoring me or casting the charm?”
“i’ll cast it.” he grabbed the book placed in front of you and began flipping through the pages loudly. he began examining the words on the brown paper and clicked his tongue, “this will be easy.”
you let out a small laugh, “it looks pretty complicated.” you skimmed through the lines along with him, leaning forward closely in order to see clearly. donghyuck leaned back slightly when he noticed the close distance between your faces. the boy’s heart raced the moment he felt your hair brush against his right cheek. he wanted so badly to slap himself for not being able to contain his feelings.
he crossed his arms, tongue poking the inside of his right cheek in an attempt to not smile, “are you saying i can’t do it?”
“of course not, just be realistic.” your smile faltered when the once-gone awkwardness made its return when the last portion of your sentence came out instinctively. “oh, um, that didn’t come out well. just- i just mean that-”
“don’t.” he said blankly while you slightly pouted at his words since you’ve already failed to maintain a decent conversation barely five minutes in.
you bit your tongue at his response and forced yourself to move on since you wanted nothing more than to disappear from this situation. donghyuck rolled up the sleeves of his oversized green robe the best he could before waving his wand experimentally. “it says to-”
he cuts you off, “i don’t need assistance.” the tiniest quiver of your bottom lip caught his attention before it was directed toward his friends who were making obnoxious kissy faces toward your two distanced bodies. he glared at them before tilting his head slightly when he noticed your hunched figure standing timidly, starting to feel the regret in his unnecessary words. donghyuck cleared his throat and began to follow the instructions written in the book.
you carefully watched donghyuck’s wand, mentally taking notes on the movements. his long fingers delicately held his wooden wand that fits perfectly in his grip and moved it with such grace, creating imaginary loops and curves just how the book had described. “herbivicus.” he breathlessly spoke when he was finishing up the wand movements.
he proved his previous statement when the rose sprout began to flourish steadily. donghyuck turned, unintentionally making his shoulder hit your arm, and walked toward professor sprout. observing from afar, you see the professor’s face brighten when he was done speaking politely with his hands put behind his back. donghyuck nodded before turning to walk back toward your shared working table. gathering enough courage when he got close to you, you asked, “what did she say?”
he walked past you and began tending more flowers planted on the dirt tray behind you without saying a word. at this point, your patience was crippling. “are you just gonna ignore me?”
without even turning his head to face you, he shook his head at your question. “then answer me verbally.”
donghyuck physically melted as his knees felt weaker when hearing your fragile tone trying to be assertive. he moved his wand quicker, trying not to prolong the silence between the two of you. once the wide variety of flowers were fully grown in front of him, he attached them together with a ribbon before taking a deep breath. he’s been told by his friends that actions speak louder than words when asking for advice on courting a person he has interest in. lots of interest. he used to always scoff whenever they’d say that, but his desperation grew over time of not being able to initiate a proper conversation.
donghyuck felt stupid for doing this which was evidently shown through his red face and sweaty palms. he straightened his back and held the flowers with both hands, placing them in front of him.
he turned around to face you teary-eyed, the tears were threatening to spill at any moment. donghyuck’s shoulders and face dropped upon hearing your tiny voice, “why don’t you like me? did i ever offend you? or do i just annoy you?” donghyuck muttered curse words at himself for making you think this way. he placed the flowers on the table by his side and hesitantly hovered his hands over your shoulders, testing the limits. when you didn’t flinch away, he softly rested them on your shoulders, brushing his thumb against the soft fabric of your yellow robe.
“no. . . to all of those.” seeing your flushed cheeks and nose made him want nothing more than to caress your cheeks. he looked around the class and made sure no one could see him pull you two toward the exit located right next to your working station, making sure to bring the flowers and placing them behind his back.
you yelp when donghyuck gently placed you against the brick wall, his hands barely had any grip on your robe like he was afraid to cause any further damage. your breath hitched when he dropped his hands into his pockets and looked at you with sincerity in his eyes. “i’m sorry.”
you furrowed an eyebrow, not knowing how to react at this moment.
“i have a feeling i haven’t been the nicest to you.” he nibbled on his lip while you tried not to chuckle at his statement. “um, it’s stupid but i’m always cautious not to behave a certain way that’ll hurt you by. . . not talking to you at all or cutting our conversations as short as possible.”
he groaned and let his head fall back as he realized how childish and inconsiderate his actions were. your facial features softened as he faced you again with a coy smile. “forgive me, i swear i don’t not like you.”
he laughed breathlessly, “it’s quite the opposite actually.” the now pink-tinted boy’s right hand ran through his hair repeatedly before placing it on the wall behind you. “i’m really sorry.”
you blinked at him. “it’s okay. thank you for explaining, actually.” you cleared your throat. “i’m just glad you don’t hate me or something.”
“so, how would you feel about me liking you?” his once shy smile is now gone and has been replaced with a sly smirk. you were taken back from the sudden change of confidence from the boy.
you shrieked under his strong gaze as he stepped closer to your figure. “oh, i- um. i, i wouldn’t be. . . opposed.” his smirk grew bigger at your answer.
donghyuck took his hand off the walk and stepped back slightly and placed his left hand in front of his chest, showing the bundle of flowers he had tended for you. he stood there holding the bundle of the prettiest flower he chose himself with his still-sweaty palms, and smiling softly causing his still-pink cheeks to round. donghyuck surely held his composure quite well with his smooth comments and actions but the red tinted ears of his were clear even under the dimly lit walkway, giving his nervousness away. “this was what i was doing when you were talking to me.”
he scratched his head with his free hand, “sorry, i was fully immersed. y’know, concentrating.”
you nodded slowly at him. “got it.” you spoke slowly while eyeing the flowers in his hands.
donghyuck giggled at your state, all flustered and not knowing what to say. he could definitely get used to this view. “would you be opposed to going out to hogsmeade with me?” his hand went back onto the wall and his face leaned very closely to yours. “my treat.” a smile slowly made an appearance on his godly face.
you were baffled. just ten minutes ago, you were one second away from crying in the middle of class because of the same guy who’s making your heart flutter in a way that you’ve never experienced before. the same guy who wouldn’t even speak a proper grammatically complete sentence to you prior to the past couple minutes.
he quirked an eyebrow as he patiently waited for your response. taking a deep breath, you seriously had nothing to lose. “no, i wouldn’t be opposed to that.” donghyuck smiled at how you can finally speak a full sentence without taking any pauses or stumbling upon your words.
once again, he pushed himself off the wall to grab your hand and arranged them so that you were now holding the flowers. you felt a wave of heat rush onto your cheeks and you tried to hide by keeping your focus on the colorful array of petals, allowing your head to stay low.
this obviously didn’t satisfy donghyuck since he wanted to stare at your flustered state all day. his pointer finger rested under your chin and pushed your head up to force you into maintaining the intense eye contact. pretty. he thought. your eyes were still shiny, and face even redder. donghyuck smiled at the up-close view of the face he had to restrain himself from staring at for too long in the past. savoring this moment, he examined your face slowly. taking all the time he needed and did not need, he continued to stare at the way your mouth fell slightly open, counting the seconds you could last without blinking your eyes and holding your breath when he stood so near you.
his brown, yet bright, eyes looked back at yours, he spoke softly, “good. i’ll wait for you outside your common room right before the sun sets tomorrow.”
you let out a breathy laugh at the vague description. “and what time is that?”
“anytime you’re ready.” his warm breath hits your hot cheeks, making your smile falter. donghyuck notices his effect on you and keeps that in mind for future purposes that you’ll soon loathe him for. “just don’t keep me waiting for too long. i’m already excited to be with you.” donghyuck smiled at the double meaning of his own sentence, feeling proud of himself for finally making a move and smiling at the sweet thought of his friends no longer pestering him to talk to you nor poking fun at him for being a bit of a coward.
the boy had to force himself to step away, but his gaze was still set on you. “i’ll see you tomorrow. anticipate it for me.” you blinked and nodded at his order while he winked at you before he made room for you to move past him and walk back toward the greenhouse.
donghyuck pushed open the door for you to enter and was automatically greeted with wide smiles from his friends still standing at the back of the room, silently cheering for their friend. he shyly smiled back quickly before retreating his attention back to you. he noticed how you caressed the soft flowers in your hand with such adoration and a smile on your face that will never seem to leave — he wished to do the same to you. and he had a strong gut feeling that his wish would soon be granted.
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Creative planning
Word count: 2144     
Genre: I think a bit of angst mixed with fluff???
Pairing: Natasha x gn!reader 
Warnings: Swearing but not much and in a friendly way (let me know if I need to add more)
Request: Can u do natasha x reader where natasha fall in love with the reader because they always have stupid atypical plans that always work. And at first none of the avengers believer that the plan will work but it actually work. That’s it!
Summary: Reader always has creative plans for missions that always work and Nat seems like she doesn’t like them except she actually does and is just bad at feelings.
A/n: So this was requested by @fayhar so I hope you like it but if I’m honest I didn’t follow the request exactly so I’m sorry about that, but I hope you like it anyways. Also sorry this is a few days later than I said but I procrastinated but I’m writing a lot now so hopefully all other requests will be out soon.
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You glance around at the rest of the team, biting your lip when all you can see is frustrated faces. It’s your first time making a big suggestion and it is not going over nearly as well as you had hoped. You thought your plan was pretty solid, albeit weird, but the team doesn’t seem to agree. 
“We need a real plan, not the plot of some animated action movie meant for kids.” Tony says, his annoyance coming through with his voice. 
Clint shoots Tony a look and softly says, “Y/n, I know you’re trying to help but Tony is right, this doesn’t seem realistic.”
“I agree,” Natasha interjects, “anyone have any more viable plans?” The room is silent after that and you can tell everyone is thinking hard. You’re trying to help as well but your mind is consumed with doubt. Although it wasn’t the most conventional plan, you really thought it could work but they thought it childish. Clint was the nicest to you about it but that’s only because he saw you as a kid he had to protect. You loved being a part of the team but sometimes it was hard to prove yourself when you were both the youngest and newest avenger. You rack your brains trying to come up with a new plan but your mind keeps getting stuck on what you already came up with. It was different from what the team normally did for sure, but you just knew it could work. 
“I know you shot it down already but please consider what I’ve suggested,” you speak up, “it’s different but I think it will work. Besides it’s not like anyone else has any great ideas.” 
While they don’t seem to accept your plan right away this time they seem to give a little more thought. Wanda whispers something to Steve and you can see Natasha and Clint exchange looks. 
Finally Steve speaks up. “Y/n is right, maybe not about the plan but we don’t have any other ideas. I think this is our best change against Hydra for now.” 
“Hydra is a formidable enemy whose goal is to control the world and you expect us to follow a plan that is completely ridiculous.” Natasha argues harshly. You struggle not to let any emotion show because you knew you had to appear strong but what Natasha thinks means a lot to you, so it hurt she had absolutely no confidence in your plan. You have always admired her a lot and if you were to be truthful you’ve always had a little bit of a crush on her.
“This plan does seem a little out there,” Wanda interjects, “but maybe that’s what we need for this mission, Hydra won’t be able to predict it.” 
“Ok,” Tony agrees, “what the hell, let's do it.” 
Fifteen exhausting hours later and you were all on a jet heading back to the compound. Even though it had been one of the hardest and most tiring missions you had been on to date you couldn’t help but smile at the fact that you were the one that helped the team out. 
“Good job Y/n!” Steve praises seeing your grin so you smile back even harder and go to respond when you hear a scoff from the other side of the jet. Natasha is sitting there and although her face betrays nothing, everyone who heard knows it’s her. You don’t know why she hates your plan even though it worked but although it bothers you, you try to brush it off, as Steve squeezes your shoulder in silent support. Even when Natasha exits the jet and heads straight to her room without a word to anybody you manage to keep a smile while talking with a few of the other avengers before you get too exhausted and decide to call it a night. 
As you lie in your bed after you showered and were drifting off you think about the day. You understood the lack of confidence in your crazy plan at first but you finally feel like you proved yourself and showed why you were asked to join the avengers. You also question Natasha’s dismissal of your success but you can never tell what she’s thinking so you brush that aside and fall into a peaceful sleep, optimistic about what is to come. 
---
“Hey Y/n can you look over the plans for the next raid?” Tony asks, shoving some papers in your hands as you walk past him in the hall. 
“Of course!” You respond cheerfully, taking the papers and continuing to make your way into the common room. It had been around ten months since you had first helped create a plan and ever since then the other had been turning to you for help with stuff like this and you became known for coming up with the craziest ideas that always ended up working. 
When you got to the common room you plopped yourself on the couch and started brainstorming beside the only other occupant of the room, Natasha. Out of all the avengers you were still slightly wary of her. You admired her a lot (not to mention kinda wanted to kiss her) but although she didn’t seem to hate your plans as much as she first did she didn’t seem to like them either. You did your best to impress her especially when she would help train you but sometimes it got discouraging because she never seemed to care that much. She was also the only avenger you didn’t consider yourself friends with, which is why you were fairly surprised when she spoke up. 
“What are you working on?”
“I’m just reviewing the mission plans for our raid of the Hydra base in a few days, Tony did a pretty good job though, so I won’t change much.” You respond honestly. 
“None of your weird ideas?” She asks. 
“Probably not, don’t worry,” you say laughing slightly although you don’t feel like it, “I’m just going to see if Steve has any ideas, see you later.” You leave the room in a bit of a rush, making sure you have all the plans. Natasha watches you go with a frown. She can tell she offended you when she asked that but she was just meaning to tease because although she was skeptical at first, she now really loves your plans. 
While she unhappily stares into the hallway you left through, she feels a tap on her shoulder and turns around to see Clint hanging upside down from the vent. 
“What’s wrong Nat?” He asks. 
“Y/n thinks I hate her. Or at least that I think she’s stupid.”
Clint laughs. “Once she gets to know you I’m sure that will change. Remember how long it took for the others to warm up to you?”
“But I like her and I want her to like me now!” Natasha replies in a tone that has a small whine to it. 
“So you like her, no biggie,” Clint says, “eventually you’ll become friends. WAIT-do you mean you like her, like you want to date her?” Natasha doesn’t respond and instead just nods, looking away from Clint. 
“You know it may seem complicated but just be nice to her and give her compliments out loud instead of in your head.” Clint advises.
“You know I think that’s the only helpful thing you’ve ever told me,” Natasha jokes, wanting to change the topic, “when did you get so good at this?”
“Well I do have a wife after all,” Clint answers, “maybe you should trust me on this.”
The past month has been confusing to say the least. You brush your hair in the mirror, wanting to look presentable for when you were having dinner with Natasha later because she randomly asked you to. It isn’t a date or anything, in fact you don’t know why you’re doing this because all she said is that she wanted to talk to you, but the idea of eating dinner along with her makes you nervous. This was the first time the two of you were going to do something without any of the others. At first she didn’t seem to like you at all but recently you noticed a huge change in the way Natasha was acting towards you. She seemed to actively seek you out to spend time together and started complimenting you more, especially on your ideas relating to avengers missions. You take a glance at your watch and decide to head down to the kitchen to meet up with Nat. The whole way down you can feel your entire body almost shaking with nerves but you push it aside. 
“Hey Y/n,” Natasha says softly upon your entry, “I made us some pasta, I hope you don’t mind.” 
“I’ll never turn down pasta.” You respond while smiling and grabbing a plate. 
“Great,” she says, looking a little relieved, “Are you good to just eat at the counter?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t I, I’m not the queen.” You answer her, laughing slightly. She mumbles something under her breath but you can’t hear it properly. 
“What was that Tasha?” You ask her. 
“Nothing.” You look down at your food and both of you lapse into silence. Neither of you speak for what feels like an hour but was probably closer to ten minutes before you start to get a little annoyed. 
“Are you going to speak?” She stares at you and doesn’t answer. “Well are you? Because you said you wanted to talk to me but now that I’m here you don’t say anything. Not to mention I can’t even tell if you like me or not.” She seems surprised by your outburst but you can’t find it within yourself to care. It was all true you had no clue what she thought about you with her acting cold towards, then suddenly switching to being nice and as much as you liked her you would much rather just know what she thought than be constantly confused. 
“I do like you.” She says after a few moments of very awkward silence. “I just don’t know how to talk to you properly.”
“You didn’t know how to talk to me???” You ask, completely shocked. 
“Yes,” she replies honestly, “at first I just didn’t talk to you because I didn’t like you-”
“Ouch.” You interrupt and she rolls her eyes at you. 
“Anyways as I was saying,” she takes a pause to playfully glare at you, “the reason why I didn’t like you was because unlike everybody else you were unpredictable and I don’t like not being in control. You are just so different from people I’m used to-I mean this in a good way, like how you always have super creative plans.”
“Oh wow that’s not what I was expecting at all,” you tell her, “I just thought you hated me.” She nods looking remorseful. 
“Sorry, at the very start I may have but honestly that’s the last impression I wanted you to have of me. If you can’t tell recently I’ve been trying harder to be more open.”
“I have noticed actually and although I was a bit confused by the sudden change it was nice.” Natasha smiles at that and sits up a little taller before shrinking back down and biting her lip.
“For the sake of honesty, there was another reason I didn’t like you much,” she pauses to take a deep breath, “you made me feel things, things I can usually control.” You can’t believe what you are hearing right now and think you must be dreaming because unless you are interpreting things very wrongly it sounds like Natasha is confessing feelings for you. 
“Tasha,” you say slowly, “you have feelings for me?” She nods and you can’t even begin to process it. You must have been silent for too long because she stands up and starts to move away. 
“I’m sorry Y/n, we can drop it if you want just please say something.” 
“No, we are not dropping this,” you say seriously, watching Natasha’s face drop as you inwardly smirk, “at least not until you take me on a date first.” 
“You’re an asshole.” Natasha deadpans before coming over to hug you. “I will definitely take you on many dates.” 
She’s true to her word and two days later you find yourselves cuddled in your bed after having dinner at a restaurant. She’s spooning you, pressed up against your back and you can tell by her breathing that she’s almost asleep. 
“So you like my plans?” You ask cheekily, remembering your conversation from last night. 
“I love your plans,” She responds before planting a kiss to the top of your head that nearly makes your heart melt of happiness, “even if you are an asshole sometimes.”
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obeiii-mee · 4 years ago
Note
I am not sure if the request is open- fanfic or headcanon an angst of mc sacrificing her life to return Lilith to them and lilth come back so she told she's only here becuz the mc bought her back how would the demon brother cope with it- it is okay if you don’t want to write it :)
I haven’t written any angst yet on this blog so I don’t really know how this is going to turn out. I don’t know how MC would be able to bring Lilith back so I’ll just figure something out as I write along. It’s hard for me to write the brothers suffering help me-
I want to make it clear that I don’t know if it’s possible for a human to do something like this but for the sake of this request let’s roll with it. Lilith is back and MC sacrificed their life for that to happen. I really don’t think any of the brothers would react well because Lilith and MC aren’t the same person. They love both of them very much but they wouldn’t be able to make one suffer just to bring the other back. All the HCs are related, happening on the same day, in the same way. Lilith reuniting with her brothers one by one starting with Lucifer. Hopefully this makes sense but I don’t really have my way around words so——
This is obviously too long so I won’t be able to write for all the brothers in one post. Instead I’ll write about Lucifer, Mammon and Levi in this one and then continue this on another post. So this is part one. Thanks for the request!
Pt. 2
————————————-
The Brothers Reacting to MC sacrificing themselves to bring Lilith back, Part 1:
Lucifer:
-OK, realistically speaking, it should have been impossible for Lilith to be brought back. She lived as a human and died, that’s it, you can’t reverse something like that. But you really didn’t want to give up, seeing the way the brothers acted whenever the topic of their sister was brought up was too much for you to handle. So you kept looking and searching for spells, magical objects, anything you could get your hands on that could help. You even spoke to Solomon about it in secret, away from Lucifer’s prying ears. You were too determined to be swayed away from the task.
-Of course, after a long time of searching, you found exactly what you were looking for. And of course in order for Lilith to be brought back to life once again, you would have to give something in return; your life. It was a hard pillow to swallow but after hours of arguing back and forth with yourself, you decided to do it. For the sake of all the brothers and their happiness. It wasn’t the quickest of deaths but it definitely didn’t hurt nearly as much as it should have. And once your soul had officially been diminished, Lilith was given a tangible body and teleported to DevilDom. That also meant that she was completely aware as to why or how and she wasn’t exactly happy. It was an indescribable moment full of misery and despair for her. She was back and her descendant payed the price for it.
-Lucifer didn’t really believe his eyes when he first saw his long dead sister on their couch, supposedly staring at nothing. He first assumed that he was daydreaming which seemed like the most rational option at that point. Due to all the paperwork he had to finish by the end of the week, he had been rather sleep deprived and it made sense that he started hallucinating. After all, Lilith was on his mind quite a lot. But then she noticed him and she sprung into his arms before he could even get a word out. It always used to be like this. Her running straight into him just to show her affection back when they were both angels and happy.
-She was real, not a dream or a fiction of his mind and he didn’t know how to feel about it. He was torn, as if all of his emotions were threatening to come out at once and he didn’t know how to handle that. Lucifer uses logic for every situation he finds himself in, but this time, it was thrown out the window. It didn’t matter why or how or when. All that mattered was that she was here and he got to see her again after all these millenniums of dealing with the slow torture of having to carry the burden of her death by himself. He was ready to go get his brothers, the rest of his dysfunctional family and obviously MC had to come along too, them being just as important to him as everyone else. But Lilith grabbed his sleeve.
-His sister told him everything. Ranging from MC’s sacrifice to her waking up in DevilDom and to her wandering around until she found the House of Lamentation. His brain stopped working the moment the words registered with him as Lilith rambled on with her story. He almost wanted to ask her if she was joking but he knew her better than that; his little sister was never one to joke about something so grave.
-Lucifer always knew that their exchange student was a bit of a nutcase and definitely special in their own way. Considering how often they went to the extremes and overdid every little thing that had to be done. But this...this was something entirely different. They gave up their own life for them, for Lilith to come back and they did this because of him and his siblings. The second time MC had been ripped away from him, without even the satisfaction of saying goodbye because they were way too good for his family and for DevilDom in general. He wanted to scream and cry and curse his father even more so than usual for this cruel turn of events. Any more of this emotional suffering, and his heart may as well stop pulsating. MC died and he couldn’t help them in any way, he couldn’t stop them from making this mistake because he had just gotten over Lilith’s death and had begun to heal from the trauma. And now you left him as well.
-Lilith forced him to sit down and let him deal with his internal breakdown while she thought this out. At this rate her brother was either going to wind up in a blind rage and pop out another Satan or drown himself in depression and anguish. But Lucifer, despite the range of emotions conflicting him on the inside, tried remaining as calm on the outside as possible. Lilith was right there. He shouldn’t cry in front of his sister, he never did. He was always supposed to be the role model, be the strong protector that she could lean on if she needed help. With a single tear running down his cheek, which he quickly wiped away, he got up, abruptly much to the protest of Lilith and began walking toward the door.
-He had to tell his brothers. The news would break every single one of them and he couldn’t do anything about it. He had the responsibility of going to every single one of them and privately discuss this because god knows what chaos would ensue if they were all in a room together with Lilith. He would have to talk to Lord Diavolo, get another exchange student down there but...not yet. Not yet. He had to tell his siblings first. His younger brothers that he swore he would protect with all of his being since he couldn’t do so with Lilith. And now he had to go and break their hearts while his own lay shattered on the floor.
-But first, he was going to go and cry by himself, locked away in his room, so he can regain the power of speaking with everyone properly. And he would just have to accept the fact that MC will forever be stuck in his heart, with no means of getting them out.
-Who would have thought a human like you would stir up these feelings within me?
Mammon:
-It was his fault. It was always his fucking fault. Whenever something bad happened to you, the first person Mammon blamed was himself. How could he not? He was in charge of you after all, he was supposed to be your protector and guardian during your stay in DevilDom. Honestly, at first, he didn’t really care about you. Your whole existence and the fact he had to babysit you was irritating more than anything. But it didn’t take long for him to get attached to you, he fell and he fell fast. Soon enough, he was about ready to just dedicate his entire being to you (and money, we don’t forget about money). You were his human. So how did he fuck it all up?
-That day, he was supposed to be with you. At least one of the brothers had to be with you at all times, per Lucifer’s orders, to make sure you could circulate DevilDom without getting killed. He had one job to do. Follow you around until you got bored and wanted to go home. Then, since you were left with the rest of his brothers, he could go do his thing. But a modelling gig had come up rather abruptly and he had to go get ready for a few shots. Mammon, being a simp great companion and actually a lot smarter than people give him credit for, was really hesitant at first. He didn’t really want to leave you alone and offered to turn the job down. He would never admit it, but his human was way more important.
-However, you insisted it was fine, encouraging him to go and implying you would be alright for an hour by yourself. Besides, you had something to check and would probably be home in no time. He couldn’t really argue back so he reluctantly agreed and left you to your own devices.
-And that was the last time he saw you.
-After his shoot, he couldn’t find you anywhere. Not at home, not in Majolish, not at any of your favourite places. He wasn’t worried at first because he thought you were with one of his siblings. But half an hour later, he was getting panicky and pushing himself over the edge. Sitting alone in his room, pondering on where the fuck you could have been while also debating as to where he should look for you first. He really didn’t want to bring the subject up with Lucifer because he feared his reaction and the possibility he would forbid Mammon from helping him search for you.
-And just as he had conjured up a master plan, Lucifer walked in. With Lilith behind him like it was regular Tuesday night. Her presence wasn’t acknowledged for a few moments, he was too concentrated on Lucifer’s face, scared out of his wits that he found out you were missing and now he was about to face punishment. His older brother didn’t look angry though. Grave and sad, but mostly solemn, like he was holding back. Then it clicked that his loving sister, the one that was supposed to be dead, was standing next to him. Mammon jumped. Physically jumped backwards and fell off the bed in surprise. If there was one thing he disliked more than giving his money away, it would be thinking about Lilith. His memories with her brought him nothing but tears.
-Lilith smiled, in an honest and slightly upset way, seeing her brother’s antics after such a long time made her feel a sort of nolstagia she didn’t think she would miss. Mammon was still staring at her like he’s just been told he had to give all of his money to the witches. He kept switching his gaze between her and Lucifer, as if confirming with him that she wasn’t a ghost while he kept his eyes wide in horror.
-“Stop that Mammon. Your gawking is giving me a headache.” Lucifer snapped, more ferociously than usual which was odd. Mammon thought he looked more tense, rigid but he didn’t push the subject. He wanted to get up, walk up to Lilith and touch her, see if she was real. And then he wanted to hug the living daylights out of her. But he froze on the spot until Lucifer finally managed to spit out that Lilith was, indeed, back. And then Mammon sprinted straight into her arms like a fired bullet, not planning on letting go for a long time. His sister just smiled again, happy to see her needier brother again and to know that despite being a demon now, he hadn’t changed all that much. That moment was sort of euphoric and he grasped onto it for as long as he could.
-Then came the devastating news that would hit Mammon in the gut harder than a moving truck.
-MC was gone. Forever. Forever, forever. Never to be seen again. Gave her entire being up for Lilith to come back to life. Lucifer told him but his eyes and voice seemed to be elsewhere, as if he struggled to show emotion in his voice during his monologue because he was directing those emotions somewhere else. Lilith tightened her grip on him, preparing for a meltdown, or even an angry fit, anything could be expected from this brother of hers in particular.
-Oh there was a meltdown alright. His reaction was immediate. He started shaking, uncontrollable trembling that he couldn’t stop no matter how hard he tried to and his vision blurred and swayed as if he was drunk and his nails were digging into his palms hard enough to draw blood. Everything felt unstable and he couldn’t take MC’s face out of his mind, like their face was printed onto his brain for keeping purposes. His throat dried up and besides the stream of tears rolling down his face, Mammon started sweating. In the span of a minute, he’s gotten too immeasurably hot and now he was sweating even though he lives in hell and should already be used to this kind of warmth.
-He became unresponsive after that. Not even Lucifer could get through to him. He just sat there, like a broken shell. His brother was speaking to him about things, replacements and a bunch of shit he wasn’t interested in. He didn’t want to hear any of it. He just wanted his human back, even if it meant he had to serve the witches for the rest of eternity. After a while, both of them left. Lucifer giving his shoulder a squeeze, something he hasn’t done in forever but the gesture was somehow comforting. It showed that his older brother was suffering too and he could tell from his voice alone. Lilith hugged him one more time and pecked his cheek and he wanted to grab her hand and keep her there because even though she literally just came back, he needed his sister to stay with him as he went through this. Mammon let them leave.
-He’s more closed off than before. He still steals shit all the time but it’s out of pity for himself more than anything else. He also took a bunch of your belongings too, something to remind him that you existed once. That you had a presence and changed his life and his brothers for the better. Mammon breaks down at the most random of times whenever he’s reminded of you and these sometimes take hours before he finally calms down. Somehow Lilith is the only one who happens to have an effect on him. Her presence at least helps. But not by a lot.
-Stupid human, letting him be an idiot and allowing him to leave you all by yourself. Stupid Mammon for being such a moron and letting the one person that understood him beyond the surface of the Avatar of Greed and actually associated him with being more than just scum, die. Stupid MC, leaving him all alone...
-He just hopes you’ve made it to the Celestial Realm...but seeing as you died in DevilDom, he doubts it.
Levi:
-Levi was sort of used to you showing up late to his gaming sessions. He didn’t blame you really, his brothers were sure to try and grab as much of your attention as possible so it makes sense you forgot about little old him. Except you never did. Sure you came by later than planned, but you always came no matter what so maybe he wasn’t giving you enough credit.
-Maybe he should have tried calling you, or even just texting you to see what you were up to. That’s why he had a D.D.D to begin with after all. But he didn’t. He assumed you were with Mammon or reading with Satan somewhere. Maybe sleeping with the twins. Levi reasoned with himself that you were probably fine and just got caught up on something on the way home. Yet the pit in his stomach kept growing with every minute that passed and before he knew it, he was pacing around the room.
-He heard Mammon having a breakdown from somewhere, and at first, he really had an overwhelming urge to check in with him and see what the problem was. Maybe something happened to MC. Maybe something happened to his older brother. Levi has a dislike for him sure, but he still wouldn’t want Mammon to suffer, no matter how much money he owes him. He didn’t leave his room. He assumed he was crying because the witches were at it again or maybe because he lost all of his money at the casino or even because Lucifer was punishing him for something.
-Then, a knock came on his door and he jumped to his feet faster than he had ever done so before. Password and all long forgotten, he opened the door to his room expecting to see you. Instead, he came face to face with his oldest brother, which disappointed him beyond measure. He was about to mumble something about MC and whether he had seen them at all that day but something stopped him. Behind Lucifer, just barely visible since she is slightly shorter than him, was Lilith. His reaction was definitely interesting.
-“Oh-I....holy crap, this is just like that anime where the protagonist’s dead sister comes back as ghost and starts talking to him. Oh shit, am I going insane or are ghosts are actually real? And not Lilith, Lilith doesn’t deserve to live the rest of eternity as a ghost-“
-“Shut up Levi.”
-“Sorry.”
-Lilith slowly walked out him and hugged him, which debunked Levi’s theory. She wasn’t a ghost! She was real and she was hugging him! He missed her so much, he was actually still doubting the fact that she was back. Levi tried pushing her out of his mind so many times because it hurt too much to think of her and now she was right here in front of him.
-The moment didn’t last though. Lucifer had to interrupt. He himself was shaky, still processing a bunch of things and on top of all that, he had to break his brothers’ spirits. The words came out eventually and Levi’s reaction was a lot slower than Mammon’s. He couldn’t process it as well and it felt like his life was put on pause, like in one of his video games. Lilith was holding him, as a sort of support system but Levi just kind of drifted in another world.
-Sure, he missed his sister dearly. But that didn’t mean he wanted MC’s life to be exchanged with hers. It was such an unfair choice really, making him choose between two people he absolutely adores. Except he didn’t make that choice. You did. And it changed everything.
-Ever since you left, he hasn’t had as much energy in playing games or even watching anime. He can’t find himself sitting for too long, he always has be to pacing and chewing on his fingernails. Everything seemed pointless without you here. Nothing was right. Watching anime by himself wasn’t as enjoyable even though he used to do it for a long time before you even came to DevilDom. He doesn’t have the energy to participate in Ruri chan contests either, though sometimes he makes an effort to. In a way to satisfy himself knowing that you didn’t die for him to mope around all depressed.
-He just sort of lays in his room all day, speaking with Henry 2.0 occasionally or just trying to relax in his bathtub. But it never works. Your voice keeps ringing in his ears. He misses you terribly and his sleeping schedule probably worsened since he can’t sleep now at all, thanks to all the nightmares he gets every night, featuring you of course.
-Out of all the things the world could have taken away from him, it just had to be his Henry didn’t it? Maybe he was just cursed from ever finding a true friend like you....
Hey, yeah I’m not dead. Just been working on this for a while now. This is obviously too long already so I can’t write for all the brothers at once. I’ll do a second post continuing this ask soon but for now I’ve written and edited this for the eldest three. Sorry it took so long and that I only managed three of the brothers. I’m still working on the following four. Thanks for reading! Part 2 should done soon!
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shoyomeow · 4 years ago
Text
EPIPHANY
❀ characters : wakatoshi ushijima x female reader
❀ genre : angst, angst, more angst and a sprinkle of fluff
❀ wc: 1533
“I know I shouldn’t be here.” 
“Then why are you here?” 
     ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
You refused to believe it. 
Anybody but him.
He couldn’t possibly do this to you could he? Sora must have mistaken him for someone else right? Or who knows, he’s been getting a lot of attention from the press nowadays, maybe a hungry paparazzi made an edit for him. With the technology today it wasn’t completely out of the question right? 
You couldn’t even listen to your own thoughts because a part of you knew that you were simply trying to delude yourself by coming up with these justifications. You knew that no one could truly mistake him for someone else, he towered over everyone else and had an overwhelming presence, besides Sora had 20/20 vision. Paparazzi? That’s impossible because he was wearing the clothes that he had FaceTimed you in an hour ago, no matter how good you are it would be impossible for paparazzi to edit such a realistic picture within an hour and even more impossible for Sora to get hands on it before it was posted on social media.
You had always prided yourself in being rational, so why was it that right now you wanted to be anything but that?
Being rational meant accepting the fact that your boyfriend, who you loved and adored and had been with since your second year of high school, had his hands entwined with a stranger.
Being rational meant accepting that the ease in which he was doing this in a public setting meant that it wasn’t the first time. 
Being rational meant that you had to acknowledge that he couldn’t possibly be drunk because he refuses to drink for a week before a match, there have never been any exceptions and he probably wasn’t going to start now.
Being rational meant that you couldn’t be in denial anymore. 
Being rational meant that Wakatoshi Ushijima, the last person you had expected to hurt you, was cheating on you. And from the looks of it, it probably was not the first time he was doing this. 
          ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Ushijima-san, you should go home.” the feelings that you thought you had overcome, the betrayal, the grief, the anger and the hatred you felt for yourself for so long came back crashing on you as you looked at the drunk man. At first glance one couldn’t possibly tell that he was drunk, but you had known him for far too long to not recognise his intoxicated state.
“You used to call me Toshi, please call me that again.”
“Ushijima-san,” you were clutching onto your apartment door so hard that you wondered if you would bleed today, “Do you have someone who can pick you up?”
It was four in the morning and you had been sitting in the same position for the past hour. Prior to that you were far too numb to realise your own emotions as you mindlessly and with a sense of monotony packed your bag. 
You sat down on the couch, the first piece of furniture that you had bought with Wakatoshi when you moved in with him, the once beige sofa was stained and had threads coming out of it’s upholstered ends but you never did have the heart to throw it away. 
There was a sense of dread that settled at the pit of your stomach as you processed your own thoughts. Were you going to remain oblivious to Wakatoshi doing this had Sora’s friend not sent her those pictures? Was he going to keep the wool over your eyes as you planned for a future with him? What if you two had kids at some point, would he have continued to do this?
The fact that he seemed so normal and nonchalant about him cheating was the thing that hurt you. It would make you a liar if you said that the act of cheating itself didn’t hurt but you could’ve dealt with that pain easier if he had been the one to tell you. But to have him lie to you for god knows how long, and see you plan your suburban fantasy with him was humiliating.
You heard the click of the door and straightened your back, he may have hurt you but you will not give him the satisfaction or ego boost by crying over him.
             ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“Please let go of me Ushijima-san.” his grip on the long sleeves of the hoodie you were wearing wasn’t strong, it was similar to the grip a mother would tell her child to practice so that they wouldn’t get separated. You didn’t know how long you could keep up the indifferent facade. You didn’t want him to see you be vulnerable, not back then and certainly not now. 
“You used to wear my hoodies too y/n, why did you stop? I always liked seeing you be swallowed up by them.” Ushijima wasn’t a clingy drunk, he was simply a person who exaggerated his pre-existent qualities. He became more blunt, if that was even possible and he always acted on the first thought that popped into his mind.
“Because we have nothing to do with each other anymore, Ushijima-san.” 
           ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
“You’re up?” his tone was neutral like it always was, no underlying nervousness, no guilt that you could sense, “Are you going somewhere?”
“Yeah, I’m leaving Wakatoshi.” you wondered how your tone sounded so firm and sincere when you felt like you were breaking apart inside.
“Ah I see, is everything alright?” there was a time when you found him taking everything into a literal sense endearing, now you just wanted to kill him.
“Everything is just dandy, you would know wouldn’t you? After all, you just got laid.” You wondered if it was normal to feel smug as you witnessed the sense of dread, shame and guilt well up in his demeanour, “I just want to know, how long has this been going for?”
He knew better than to lie to you but at least he had the decency to not meet your eyes as shame manifested and bloomed within him, “Around eight months.”
“Eight months,” you mulled over it for a moment when realisation struck you, “That was when you had gone with the team to Osaka right? For a retreat.”
“Yes.”
“I see.” you released a soft sigh, you would cry, you were going to bawl your eyes out as soon as you got into the cab that you had booked for yourself, the one who was definitely going to charge extra for having to wait for so long. You would probably cry for days over the fact that eight months ago, when he had missed out on your anniversary and you had not been worried about it because you had been together for far too long to worry about stuff like that, he had probably been balls deep into someone else.
“Ushijima,” his surname tasted foreign on your tongue as you had not addressed him with that in far too long, “I want you to not talk or say anything else. I’m leaving and by that I mean that I’m leaving you. I wish you luck in your future endeavours and may you forever rot in hell.” 
“Y/n,” he called out as you grabbed your things to leave, “For what it’s worth, I am sorry.”
“You know something?” you smiled at him, the bitter and hate filled smile that you gave him made his heart ache, “I think that’s the first time I’ve recognised a lie of yours. Kudos to me.”
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“The cab is here Ushijima-san, please get in and leave. I have already told them your address.”
“Why?” He slurred as he was helped by the driver to get  into the car, “Why can’t it be our address anymore? Please come back. I miss you y/n.”
You smiled again, the same bitter smile that you had given to him while you were parting two years ago but much less hateful, “Ushijima-san, kindly get the fuck away from me and never try to contact me again. If you show up at my place again I will be forced to take legal 
You straightened your back once again as you walked into your apartment. 
The pain of him doing what he had done still haunted you, after all, can someone ever truly get over being betrayed by the person they trusted the most? But you could happily say that while the pain still existed, it had reduced into a dull throb. 
“Hey babe, who was at the door?” 
You couldn’t help but smile at your boyfriend who had his hair in foils waiting for the dye to set in and a face coated with a green face mask, “Oh it was just Ushijima.”
“Oh okay,” Atsumu turned to go back into the washroom, before his mind processed your words causing him to snap his head at you, “WAIT WHAT?”
You couldn’t help but laugh as you walked towards him and pulled him into a soft kiss, trying to ignore the green face mask which had undoubtedly transferred a little onto your own skin, “You’re annoying as hell but I love you so much.”
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special shoutout to @samuthots​ cause i got the prompt list from her and that is what inspired this fic.
@daifwukus​
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wtfevenismypage · 4 years ago
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Observer Not Profiler PT.3
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!reader
Summary: You’re similar to a profiler, but you can tell almost anything about a person just from a single glance. What they had for dinner, if they took a bath or shower, their name, favorite color, if they lie, even if they’re good in bed. You’ve been running from the government ever since you got caught hacking into their systems and since then you have been diagnosed with Extreme anxiety, anxious tics, and paranoia. But now the BAU need you’re help in Identifying killers.
Warnings: maybe a curse word or two, mentions of death, anxious/nervous ticking, tic attacks
A/N: Hey all! Here’s part 3! Remember that requests are open! So is the taglist, however I may be closing the taglist in a few weeks! thank you for reading!
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You never knew you were scared of being on private jets until Dr. Spencer Reid rolled along.
“Statistically, Private jets crash more so than commercial planes do. The rate is commonly expressed as the number of accidents per 100,000 flight hours. The accident and fatal-accident rates declined again in 2015. In fact, the fatal-accident rate fell below one to 0.84, meaning there was less than one fatal crash per 100,000 flight hours.”
You think he was trying to make you feel better, but it only made you even more terrified.
“I would like to join the Bureau!”
Emily smiles happily, she knew that getting to know you would be a blast, and your people reading skills would come in major handy.
“That’s wonderful!”
Garcia yells out before wrapping her arms around you, it makes you freeze at first, but the hesitation wears off and you hug her back before shaking hands with everyone else.
When you shake Dr. Reid’s hand, you linger for a second, barely a second, before shaking hands with Hotch.
“This is going to be difficult, you’ll need training.”
You nod, shaking his calloused hand firmly.
“Of course sir, I’m willing to go through all of the training in the world for this.”
He smiles, but barely, only noticeable if you were looking (which you are) and you feel ecstatic at the small gesture. 
“Well, we have a jet to catch, so let’s hurry up. wheel’s up in thirty.”
The first few weeks of training were intense, you were physically trained by Morgan, he got you into shape and gifted you with a subtle six pack that you could see if you squinted hard enough. 
Hotch trained you to handle a gun, which you kind of sucked at. Every time you shot it, you jumped five feet in the air and had a mini panic attack, which Hotch had to help you out with.
Emily, Rossi, and JJ made you into a pretty damn good interrogator, which made you smile every time they complimented you.
You were shocked when you learned that you actually did need lessons in profiling, you needed to learn certain behaviors at crime scenes when you couldn’t see the unsub. Reid helped you in that regard. He also told you all sorts of fun facts, which you happily listened to, you loved learning new things and you would even insist upon hearing the facts sometimes.
You and Penelope had races against each other to see who could get into what faster, so far you two were tied.
Today is the day though, your first day as an official member of the team. Surprisingly, you still couldn’t say the word profiler without spiraling, and you’ve been having anxious tic attacks all night and all morning.
As you walk into the doors to the big office in the early early morning, your wrists slam together twice, making you wince and rub them, feeling the bruises from last night scream in rage.
“I’ve gotta learn to stop that...”
You realize you’re the first in the office, so you just take a quick seat to try and ground yourself, but it instead spirals into a tic attack as you take in what’s finally happening after all of these long and torturous years. 
“Y/L/N. You alright?”
You turn to the cold voice, seeing Hotch standing at the top of the stairs. You thought you were alone, you hoped you were, but if anyone was going to be at the office, you weren’t surprised it was Hotch.
“Oh, sorry sir, I’m just having first day nerves! I feel like I’m back in middle school...”
He flashes you an understanding half-smile, walking up to you and patting your shoulder.
“Don’t worry too much, everyone here is already obsessed with you, you’ll fit right in.”
You smile, trying to act like you were okay,but when your fist harshly collides with the side of your head, you sigh and clutch the now bruised spot.
“Well, the others should be here soon, your desk is right there, next to Reid’s.”
You couldn’t stop the pink heat that bum-rushed it’s way onto your cheeks, trying to avoid Hotch seeing by moving to your new desk an sitting down, subconsciously clapping your palm against the desk.
“Wowie. I’m all official and everything huh?”
You smirk before the door clicks open, people beginning to enter the once-empty office space and making your nerves go through the roof once again.
That is, until Derek and Reid walk in with Garcia chatting about something random with Emily laughing at her.
“Hey Y/L/N! How’s the day so far?”
Derek asks, sitting on your desk. You immediately swat him off with a fake pout painted across your lips.
“Hey, I just got this space, I’ll be d-damned if I let some-some sweaty man sit on it.”
They didn’t miss your nervous stuttering, but in the short time the team had known you, they knew you hated when your tics were the center of attention, so they simply gave sad smiles and moved on.
“We have a new case, Y/L/N, I’ll give you a moment to adjust, round table in ten.”
Hotch walks away, back to his office before Garcia plops down on your desk. Derek notices how you don’t shoo her off and throws a whole fit.
“So you kick me off but not Penelope?”
“Is Garcia a-a sweaty m-man? I don-don’t think so!”
You all laugh before they sit down, Reid sitting next to you and logging into his computer before setting his stuff down.
“You ready for your first case?”
Reid asks, you shrug in response, a nervous smile plastered on your face.
“I g-guess we’ll find-find out.”
Your wrists slam together again, making you hiss in pain a bit, Reid looks concerned and takes one of your wrists in his hand, gently brushing one of his long, slender fingers over your bruised nerves.
“Well a better question, are these going to heal correctly?”
He asked with a sudden seriousness that you didn’t particularly enjoy. 
“Well I don’t know Mr. Genius, why don’t you tell me?”
He looks up at your sarcastic words and smiles a bit, cheeks being brushed with a bit of red as he answers.
“Well they won’t heal properly with your tics, if anything they could get worse, the veins in your wrists will actually get really damaged and it could affect your entire nervous system, you might want to get it-”
“Spencer, as much as I love listening to your rants, and I do, I don’t love listening to the ones about my health being in danger.”
He smiles and discontinues the topic, letting you take your wrists out of his gentle grip and returning to your computer.
“Alright everyone, let’s get to the round table.”
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Throughout the entire case, you stick close with Reid, he made you feel safer than the others somehow. He didn’t say anything about you being with him the entire time, he just accepted the helpful points you gave him. 
One night, you two were up all night trying to find a connection, laying out on top of a desk, listening to Mozart (he insisted) and trying to make a connection between the victims.
You had gotten so excited when you finally made a connection you started jumping up and down with Spencer, holding his hands happily as he joined your silly theatrics.
He seemed to be the only person that can relax your anxiety, even just standing around him helped slow your tics. You didn’t know why he relaxed you, he just did. 
On the jet back to the BAU, the two of you shared earbuds to listen to classical music, you had left your headphones back in Oregon so Spencer offered his left earbud.
Even back at the offices when you were working with Penelope, he brought you green tea, telling you it would still keep you awake but it wouldn’t make you as jittery or paranoid as coffee would.
As soon as he left, Garcia started looking at you weird, giving you googly eyes.
“What?”
“You like him don’t you!?”
Your jaw drops, eyebrows furrowing down, your cheeks get all rosy. No way! You didn’t like him like that, you just enjoyed his company.
“No I don’t! You’re finally going crazy huh?”
“You totally do! You’re getting all blushy and everything!”
“I don’t like him like that! I’ve never liked anyone like that, why would it start now huh? It wouldn’t. I don’t like him.”
She gives you a doubtful look, but drops it, letting you spin around to another computer while sipping on your freshly hot green tea.
The next day, you take the elevator up with Spencer, Derek, and JJ, JJ and Derek were talking about some show, while you listened to Spencer ramble about how unrealistic the show was.
“But Spencer, Dr. Who isn’t very realistic, but you still love it don’t you?”
“Well yeah, but I’m immediately biased to Dr. Who for my love of it, with any other movie or show, I don’t hesitate to point out faults.”
You chuckle at that, Spencer’s passion for Dr. Who was unmatched for anyone else’s love for any show. It’s insane. 
“Okay before pretty boy goes on about Dr. Who for hours, let’s escape.”
The doors open, allowing you and the other team members to walk in. Your desk was still fairly empty, not even a plant there to accompany your computer, you were still holding onto your runaway life, whether you admit it or not.
“Y/L/N, I need to talk to you. My office now.”
“What was that about?”
Panic bubbles to your chest, Hotch’s tone was too assertive, too aggresive. It was scary.
“I don’t know...”
Taglist: 
@imsuperawkward @ithinkilovetruecrimetoomuch @l0ve-0f-my-life @hopebaker @thatonezesty13 @nightlygiggless @aberrant-annie @holybatflapexpert @spencerreidisbootiful @april-14-blog @jackryan-plz @ajwantsapancake @lightswriting @emilouu @yourmisosoup @lizziebritish @101donuts @rainsong01 @pretty-boy-genius @squirrellover1967 @gublerstyles @delievia @boxofsparklingmuses @annestine 
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supraveng · 4 years ago
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Moving On - part 4
Summary: You are moving on from your past and starting a new life with your future as a Winchester
Characters: Reader x Sam Winchester, Dean x Cas, John x Mary, Joy Winchester
Warnings: fluffy Winchesters, swearing
Moving On part 3
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@iamwarrenspeace @mythandmagik    @lieswithoutfairytales   @bbmommy0902  @hailmary-yramliah  @jessyballet @paryl @tcc-gizmachine @vicmc624
The next two weeks in DC were a blur of meetings and packing up the personal belongings you had accumulated over the past 4 years, most belonging to Joy. By the time you were heading to the airport and saying goodbye to your life, you were feeling a bit overwhelmed. It reminded you of your escape from NY but this time with a bit more excitement of the unknown.
Settling in on the plane heading for your new home, you had brought everything you could think of to keep Joy occupied on the 3 hour flight. By the time you touched down and made your way through the airport to baggage claim, your daughter had become a deadweight that you were now carrying along with your other items, you couldn’t imagine never having the support you currently have from Sam.
Then you thought about trying to make this same trek with her if you were further along in your pregnancy and knew you couldn’t do this alone, you consider yourself a strong independent woman, but not nearly strong enough to be a single mother, those women were warriors that you could only aspire to.
Baggage claim was a madhouse and just as you are about to reach out and grab Joy’s car seat, someone moves around you and grabs it right out in front of you. You were too tired for this, and you looked up to yell at the culprit only to see the beautiful hazel eyes of the man you love.
“I thought I told you that you didn’t need to pick us up” you whispered, hoping to not wake your daughter.
He leaned in for a quick kiss, “I know, but I’ve missed my girls, and this way I get an hour just the two of us before getting to my parents house for dinner.”
“Well, I could definitely eat, but I thought you would be in court all day, so I really am surprised to see you” you snuggled into him as best you could before he started to take bags off your shoulders.
“Let me get this stuff, and you hold on to the precious cargo” he smiled down at Joy, rubbing her back and placing a kiss on her forehead before leading you out of the airport.
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By the time all your things were loaded in the car, your daughter was waking up and squealing when she saw Sam. He listened and responded to her the entire way down the highway and only stopped when we reached the Winchester home.
"Babe, I thought we'd be going to your apartment, I could use a shower and nap before dinner with your family" you tell him as you lean over and pull him into a kiss. Whenever you two were apart for any length of time you were always very touchy feely that first day, but even more so when it's been weeks apart.
"Didn't I tell you, I didn't renew my lease, I've been staying here for the time being until we get our own place" he mentions as he exits the car.
"I vaguely remember you mentioned your lease but I thought we had a few more months'' you try your best to smile. You were really hoping for a quiet night in with Sam, but it looks like that's going to be postponed for who knows how long.
Before you even made it to the door, Mary was coming out with a huge smile on her face and pulling you into a hug, “we’ve missed you around here, well I probably missed you the most, there are too many men around here” she whispered before releasing you.
“Nana!” was heard from inside the car as you saw your daughter try to unbuckle and reach her grandmother as soon as possible. You were about to go to her when Mary stepped up, “please let me, I need snuggles with my Joy”.
“By all means, but she slept most of the flight, so she’s going to be full of energy” hoping to warn Mary but by the look on her face, she doesn’t mind at all. The two are running toward the house as you help Sam with your bags from the trunk.
You always loved the Winchester home, large but still inviting, spacious but still cozy, and the fact that every member of the family; immediate and extended; welcomed you with open arms from the beginning was the best feeling.
Growing up in foster care, you never had a home, not for more than a month or two at a time. Then being on your own since you were 15, you never expected to be here now, but it was as if all the years of struggling and trying to find yourself had been worth it to get here.
Becoming a Winchester was something you never knew you always wanted and desperately needed. You can hear Mary and Joy chatting in the kitchen as you make your way upstairs hoping for a bit of relaxation before you become completely exhausted. Sam pulls you into a warm hug before you’re even completely in the room.
Calming any nerves with a kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the apartment, I’ve been working so much trying to catch up so that we could have a nice weekend together as a family now that you are officially moved to Kansas that it completely slipped my mind. What can I do to make it up to you?” looking up at him you could see a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“There’s nothing to make up for, but if you were offering a back rub before my nap, I would greatly accept.” as you reach up and kiss me softly before making your way to the bed to remove your shoes.
“Well, if you insist, but I’m almost certain my world famous backrubs is what got you pregnant the first time” he chuckles as turns towards you.
“Good thing we don’t have that to worry about” and you kiss him again. Snuggling as close as you could to Sam, you fell asleep almost instantly, his arms being your safe place, your home.
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Waking up with a chill, you realized you were now alone and the absence of Sam made the room feel like a freezer. Quickly getting up and showered, you made your way downstairs to find your family.
You smiled watching Joy, curled up in Dean’s lap watching Scooby Doo, both laughing at the same spots, those two had such a great bond.
"There she is, how was your nap?" Mary asked as she entered the living room from the kitchen with Sam following behind.
"Wonderful, thank you. I promise to not disappear on you again" you told her as she pulled you into another hug.
"No need to apologize for allowing me more time with my granddaughter" as she moved towards the sofa and handed Joy a drink.
"Dinner will be ready as soon as John gets home, so I didn't think she needed a snack right now"
"thank you, but I was planning on cooking for y'all tonight" you told her as you and Sam joined them, while Joy and Dean shushed us for interrupting their show.
"Don't worry about that sweety, John is picking up dinner on the way here, we're just happy to have you two back in town"
The Winchesters were always so inviting, you had dreamed of a family like this when you were growing up and now you finally had it.
By the time John had come in with dinner, the tv had been turned off and you were helping your daughter clean up as Castiel came in and greeted you both.
"Unca Cas! I sit wit you" Joy squealed as she ran and hugged his legs.
"I've missed you too, and as long as it's ok with your mom" He crouched down to her eye level before she was throwing her arms around his neck.
"Don't you want to sit with your favorite uncle?" Dean asked as he patted the seat beside him. Joy laughed as she climbed into the seat between them "luv yu unca bean" and blew him a kiss.
"So, Y/N, we are so glad you two are back for a visit, how long do we get to keep you this time?" John asked as you all started eating.
"Well, about this visit, its um" looking at Sam for some help as he just shrugged with that cute smirk on his face. "Sorry, I'm not sure how to say this and I didn't really have a plan but, this isn't a visit" you looked around and everyone seemed a little confused. "We have officially become Kansas residents as of today"
"Oh, that's fantastic!" Mary told you as everyone seemed a bit shocked.
"Were you able to transfer to a local office?" John asked.
"No, actually, I resigned but they call it retiring so they have the option to hire you back when they need the help, but I don't think that will be a concern for many years if ever" you state trying to reassure Sam that this is it for you, for your family to be together.
"I'm happy for you, sweetheart, but that seems a bit sudden. Is something going on?" Dean seemed to be concerned by your sudden change.
Finally Sam spoke up, "yes Dean, something is going on" he smiled down at you. "Y/N wants to move the wedding up and become a Winchester as soon as possible."
You smirk at him and look back at the family, they seem happy but a bit confused. "Sam and I have a little surprise" you tell them as he squeezes your hand "we are expecting"
There was a unified gasp from the table before everyone was congratulating you.
Once the celebration was over it was time to put your daughter to bed, but with a house full of her favorite people you figured you wouldn't be able to do it tonight even if you wanted to. While Mary opted for handling bath time, the rest of you settled down on the patio, the men opting for whiskey to end the night while you stuck with a cup of tea.
"Might I suggest the name Dean, if it's a boy?" Dean told you with a smirk on his face.
"Really?" you asked "you don't want to use the name for your own kids?" Dean looked a little shocked but shook his head almost defeated.
"Come on Dean, you and Cas would make amazing parents, you never thought about it?" you questioned.
"We discussed it but I'm not sure kids are a realistic idea with as much as we work and travel all the time" he shrugged looking defeated.
Noticing Dean give Sam a pointed look, you realize you may have overstepped and decided to drop the subject. “Well, as your sister-in-law, I support any decision you make for your family. You need to do what's right for you"
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The morning was a whirlwind of finding what you needed amongst the bags you had packed and boxes you shipped, but ultimately you were able to get yourself and Joy looking presentable for breakfast with the family. By the time you make it downstairs, John is kissing Mary goodbye and heading towards the door. “Papa wait!” Joy runs full speed and hugs John's legs. “Oh sweetie, I’ll be home tomorrow and we can have a whole day together, how does that sound?” he asks as he leans down to give her a goodbye hug. “Yay, I wan pancakes” as she runs to the kitchen to find her Nana.
“You are working on Saturday? That’s awful” you tell him as he pulls you in for a hug also. “Small little hiccup, I’m hoping to make it back tonight but just in case, I will see you all tomorrow” he waves and is out the door. “So mom, do you think you can keep an eye on your granddaughter for a few hours? I have something I want to show Y/N, and maybe grab lunch in town”
Within the hour the two of you are driving through Lawrence and he’s pointing out all his favorite places growing up before he stops in front of a beautiful two story house on the north end of town.
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“So what do you think?” he asks as he opens the car door for you
“It’s beautiful, but what are we doing here?” you ask.
“Well, I was looking around and found this place, and thought we could have the wedding in the backyard” he tells you with a small grin.
“This is perfect, I wanted something small and intimate, but this is just someone’s house. Why would they rent it to us for our wedding?” you question as you walk around the house to the backyard.
“Well, that was the catch, we can’t rent it, so I bought it” he responds with a look between hope and apprehension.
“You bought a house?” you were shocked to say the least. You weren’t sure if you should be upset that he made such a big decision, but Sam was always one to surprise you.
“Yes, for us, technically it’s not ours until we sign the final closing paperwork on Monday but we need a place of our own and what better way to start our family than in our own home” he pulls you into a hug and you can only respond with a huge smile
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mbti-notes · 3 years ago
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Anon wrote: Hello. I'm an INFJ and I would like to ask: you always say (in some way or another) that we should get closer to people in order to develop Fe. So I was thinking, what if I am always trying to get closer to new people I meet but at the end, I constantly feel that they have toxic behaviour and I try to get away?
I mean, I've been learning recently because I did not have boundaries before and now when I observe and experience firsthand bad behaviour that, once communicated to the person, they are not willing to change because "that's just who they are", I try to maintain my distance.
For example, I have an ISTP friend (who is not developed at all and therefore only relies on her own logic) that is totally immersed on her own judgment and even though I tell her she doesn't know the whole picture and that there's more information she has to know and take into consideration before jumping to those conclusions, she just says "I don't care if there's more info, I would probably just think the same thing, so i don't care". I can observe she gets defensive when I tell her judgment is not overall/complete/objective.
Another example is that one day we were in a party and I was feeling bad for some stupid shit and I told her about it and she bluntly said "Yeah, just don't think about what you are feeling. It doesn't matter right now." I understood her point of view but I just felt so bad because of the indifferent and almost aggressive way she said it. So I communicated that to her a few days later, telling her that she should take more into consideration the way she expressed things to others because some people could get hurt or offended by her lack of tact. She just said "I just say what I think the way I think it. I won't change because that would be changing who I am and I'm not willing to do that. I can just not tell you about what I think but I will still think that way."
She also wanted to control the decoration of my house and my instagram page lmao. So it's not just her, I've had a looot of ENFP friends who are even more toxic and I just cannot help but observe all these behaviours and not want to be close to them.
So the question is that, what if I am trying to get friends but they always, for some reason, turn out to be toxic because I feel I observe the meaning of their behavior way too much? Should I ignore what I am seeing? What should I do to change this? Help. Thank you.
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I think you have misunderstood the issue because of taking my words out of context. Yes, Fe development requires getting closer to people, BUT this is only the right solution if the main problem is severe Ti loop that inhibits social connection. If severe Ti loop is not your main problem, it wouldn't make sense to apply that solution.
Struggling with boundaries indicates that the main problem is probably Fe overindulgence. You are showing poor judgment in terms of trying to get close to people indiscriminately. It seems that you implicitly expect everyone you encounter to harmonize with you, validate you, and emotionally support you. It is an unrealistic and unreasonable expectation.
There are indeed assholes out there. Most toxic people are toxic because they have their own unhealthy shit going on and they end up hurting people unintentionally. A minority of toxic people are toxic because they are malicious and intentionally destructive. This distinction is vital to making wise social decisions.
To understand the difference, you have to exercise cognitive empathy to get an accurate understanding of what's going on with people. When you feel hurt by someone or when someone displays harmful behavior, you should get to the bottom of whether it was deliberate. If it was, then it would be smart to protect yourself from their attacks. If it wasn't, then it would be smart to not take it personally, because it has nothing to do with you.
A "boundary" means that there is a clear separation between "my business" and "their business". The boundary gets violated as soon as someone gets too emotionally involved in the other's business for egotistical reasons. Examples include being irrationally critical due to projection (unhealthy Ti) or trying to change someone to be more aligned with oneself (unhealthy Fe). As far as I can tell, both you and your friends are guilty of overstepping boundaries in various ways.
Having healthy boundaries means that you should be able to get along with most people just fine because what they do is really none of your business. People often push gently on boundaries as a normal part of social interaction. Only when they violate relationship boundaries in a harmful way should you think about whether it's justified to distance from them. If someone is just being who they are, though you find it unpleasant, but they're not violating relationship boundaries, then distancing from them is an indication of your failure to understand and accept different kinds of people.
You need emotionally supportive relationships and there's nothing wrong with that. Having a good social support network is a legitimate human need; it is mandatory for flourishing in life. The problem isn't the need itself but the methods that you choose for fulfilling the need. If you walk around in life expecting everyone to satisfy your needs, as though they were only put on earth to serve you, then YOU are the problem in the relationship, because you are treating people as mere objects for your own gratification.
If you want meaningful relationships and a supportive social network, you have to seek out people who are capable of it and work hard to build relationships/community with them. Healthy Ni means that you should have bigger vision and try to realize the greater potential of every relationship. Healthy Fe means that you should be encouraging and give everyone a fair chance to show you whether they can handle a more intimate relationship. Healthy Ti means that you should be discerning and properly assess the quality of your relationships so that you invest your effort intelligently. Healthy Se means that you should be realistic and avoid expecting more from people than they are actually capable of giving.
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raziroo · 3 years ago
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Chapter Four | I Take A Liking To Lilac All Of A Sudden
Pairing: Lotor x Reader (There you go)
Genre: Angst? I don't knowww
Warnings: Mentions of cancer, mild swearing
Word Count: 1,676
Author’s Note: This is kind of a filler? I can't write long shit in one sitting, so. It's important to reader and lotor's relationship, tho.
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‘Good luck. Come back alive, all of you, alright?’ I asked, my eyes roving over the three people standing before me – Matt, Pidge, and Shiro. ‘It’s, like, one of the simplest things you could do. You give Lotor, you get Mr. Holt. Simple. Very simple and easily doable. Right?’ My gaze dragged over all of them once more as I picked at my nails nervously. As much as I was aware of the fact that this trade wasn’t simple and easily doable, I knew that I would legitimately have a nervous breakdown if I didn’t spew lies through my teeth.
Shiro smiled at me lightly. ‘Of course. I’ll make sure nothing goes wrong. You guys take care too.’
‘If, however, anything happens,’ Allura chided, ‘the other lions will arrive as soon as possible.’
‘Yeah,’ Pidge said with a wry smirk, ‘so try not to pass out.’
‘Okay,’ I nodded my head rapidly, ‘yeah, okay, I – I can do that.’
‘Good. Well, we’ll get going then,’ Shiro announced, and turned around, the others following him.
Hopefully, all would go well.
. . . . .
You know what? Everything actually went relatively well. Yes, my hunch turned out to be correct and Zarkon chose to go through with the ‘I was lying all along! Bwahahaha!’ route and ended up getting himself killed at the hands of his son, but overall, I’d say it was a win-win, seeing that we got Pidge’s father back (thank God, who knows what havoc she’d wreak if we ended up not getting Sam back) and the evil maniacal tyrant who’d been ruling over the universe for ten thousand years died.
The one downside was that now there needed to be a new Emperor, because following Zarkon’s death, not only the Galra empire, but simultaneously the entire universe had gone into a state of chaos too. There was no doubt that underlings and generals would try to take over smaller parts of the empire, and once that happened, Voltron being able to do anything would be a stretch.
And, according to Lotor, a ceremony to crown the new emperor, the Kral Zera, would now be taking place. Once he said that, he really didn’t need to say more – it was obvious what his implications were. A new emperor was to be crowned, and if Voltron was to achieve peace, Lotor would have to go and secure the throne. It was a sensible thought to be had, no problem. The thing was, to reach the Kral Zera, which was taking place in two days, in itself was a decision to be taken with utmost thought. The Paladins just didn’t have enough time to decide.
On the one hand, Shiro and Lotor were adamant that the latter be crowned emperor; the other Paladins, however, were justifiably hesitant. I had been standing there listening to them going back and forth, not saying a word myself, like always.
To be honest, I just wanted to go sleep. For some reason, I’d been feeling overly anxious these past few days. White was still not responding to me, I was having regular dreams about the day I woke up here. It was always that one day, that first conversation I had with Shiro. It was as if my subconsciousness too wanted me to reach out to Shiro because there was clearly something weird going on with him.
My suspicions only solidified when I heard Shiro’s voice boom through the room. My head snapped up. Lance with a look of shock and the slightest bit of fear on his face, Shiro’s visage twisted with uncharacteristic anger.
‘Shiro. I think you should just relax a little.’ The man turned to me, brows pinched.
‘I am relaxed -’
‘No, I really think you aren’t… so, like… take it easy, yeah?’ I asked, jumping my eyebrows, arms still folded in front of me, maintaining a calm yet defensive posture. I could feel the entire room’s gazes on me. After all, I almost never spoke in such discussions, or any discussions, really, and indirectly opposing Shiro, of all people, was way too brave a thing for me to do.
Shiro looked at me with slight disbelief, a glint in his eye challenging me to speak up. ‘You want me to take it easy? Take it easy? The fate of the universe depends on this, taking it easy is really not an option right now. I’ve put my foot down – as the Leader of Voltron, I’ve taken this decision. You aren’t someone befitted to oppose me.’
Ok, wow. Everyone shared the same opinion apparently, as now the silence seemed piercing. Clicking my tongue, I tilted my head. ‘Well, maybe not as a Paladin, which I’m not, or a member of the coalition. But as a friend, Shiro, you’ve been acting strange. Everyone realises this. You realise this. … Maybe, I don’t know… maybe all this reflecting on you’ve been doing, maybe the role of leader is taking a toll on you? I, heh,’ I chuckle, ‘I really am not sure. But you’re not relaxed, and you’re not acting yourself.’
‘Could you please not tell me how to be a Paladin?’
‘While you all waste time squabbling, sinister forces are conspiring to fill the Galra power void. If I don’t return to claim the throne, there’s no telling who will.’
Does being royalty instantly make you a hundred times more dramatic? Sinister forces? Deadass?
I walked out.
. . . . .
Shiro went behind our back.
Yeah.
Acting like a complete bitch, he took Lotor to the Kral Zera, where, for your information, he could’ve been blown up. By Keith.
I wanted to deck Shiro. Instead, I visited White. I had hopes she’d respond to me, since I’d been brave and spoken my mind. I prayed on all the Gods and Deities above that my expectations became reality.
Yeah, they didn’t. She didn’t budge. The whole entire two goddamned hours I sat in front of White, she ignored me. Frustrated, I ended up punching her, resulting in bleeding knuckles. Lotor saw that, by the way. He seemed to always be keeping an eye on White, regardless of me being there or not, which I admit is a little strange, but I wasn’t judging. These aliens seemed to worship the Lions.
Lotor also invited us to the Galra headquarters, and lord oh my lord, was it fancy. Allura had gone off to do research with Lotor (I’d been about to make a joke about what “research” those two were really about to do, if you catch my drift, but then I saw Lance looking at the pair glumly, and thought better of it. I’d lightly punched Lance on the shoulder, and raised my eyebrows so as to say ‘They’re gorgeous aliens who could give Bella Hadid and Harry Styles a run for their money, it can’t be helped.’ He laughed.) I accompanied Hunk, Lance and Pidge in their shenanigans for a while, but ended up wandering around the place.
Space was beautiful. Even through a window, I wanted to just stare at it for as long as I could, enjoying a show more realistic than ever before. It was really similar to all the Marvel movies I’d watched; I felt a weird sense of pride at that realization. I remembered how I’d cried at the end of Infinity War, my friends clinging to me and bawling as well; how loud I’d squealed at an absolutely steamy piece of Kakashi fanart Cory had drawn; how happy I’d been when Sasha, my neighbour and childhood friend, had come out victorious after battling cancer for years.
I hadn’t realized when the tears had started slipping down my cheeks. I wiped at them, but they wouldn’t go. Sniffling and wiping so furiously my skin would get burned when I heard footsteps, I turned to see Lotor approaching me.
‘Hey -’ shit, my voice was so thick. Clearing my throat obnoxiously loud, I greeted him again. ‘Hey, uh… what… how’s yours and Allura’s research going?’
‘The research has been going quite smoothly.’
‘Hmm. Nice.’
Lotor was staring – no, correction - scrutinising me. I could feel it, his intense as hell eyes burning into the side of my face. I wasn’t going to give up, though. I stared at the window with as much concentration as he me.
He was the first to speak up. Ha.
‘You’re not of the Paladins.’
‘Really? I didn’t know, thanks,’ I still wasn’t looking at him.
‘Deepest apologies if I offended you -’
‘You didn’t, it’s okay.’
‘…’
‘…’
‘…If you wish to answer, why do you appear… distant, compared to the other Paladins? You say they are your friends, but there’s such scarce interaction… you seem acquaintances at best.’
‘… They are my friends. I like to think so, because, well… because I don’t have anyone to go back home to.’
‘Oh. My apologies, I didn’t mean to pry.’
‘You didn’t pry, chill. It’s not that my family’s dead or anything, it’s just that… no, well, my family is dead, but… like, they’ve been dead for around three hundred or so years…?’ I turned to Lotor, brows furrowed. He looked less confused than me.
‘Sorry, no, that’s – that’s shit explanation, um… you could say… I… I’ve lived past my time. I’m alive when I’m not supposed to be.’
I didn’t explicitly mention, as you can see, that I was a time traveller, because I wasn’t really one with that fact yet. I’d accepted it, yes, but that didn’t mean I was comfortable with it. It was still a foreign truth, something I didn’t take great joy in talking or thinking about.
When I turned to Lotor, I felt like he’d understood what he needed to already.
It was bizarre. A lilac alien was the last person I would expect to understand me so easily, but it was what it was.
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