#the shame i even feel typing that out ...
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pov i did in fact get a (v cheap) cane to see if it helped any but I'm??? apprehensive about using it or telling anyone about it cause im?? Idk if it will improve my life but it's a temporary solution until I can go to the doctor. Anyway this is just me telling someone( the internet) about it cause it frankly should not be this big of a deal. It just is cause that's the type of person I am. I mean- my friends can attest to me not being able to stand or walk for long periods of time, I just don't want them to??? i don't wanna say judge me, but maybe think I am being dramatic?? It really is temporary to see if it helps so. Idk. I know they probably wouldn't but man im just.ragh. I also was under the assumption that canes are just for support when walking but apparently nthey are also helpful if you have trouble standing. good to know cause that's where most of my issues lie. walking sucks too but I can usually deal cause im too focused on other things such as 'dont get hit by car' and 'dont let knees get too straight'
ALSO SIDE NOTE I WILL BE GOING TO A DOCTOR SOMETIME AFTER JANUARY IM JUST LITERALLY TOO BUSY AND POOR RN TO DO SO
#anyway#ughh#I am the type of person who does the 'am i gay quiz'#i also have not figured out if im aromantic for this same reason#but thats like a whole dif problem#While i was doing research to see if maybe it WOULD help I saw a lot of people being like#'yeah people who don't need canes generally don't think about getting one at length'#so#anyway will probably delete this#BTW THIS IS ALSO HOW I WAS ABOUT BEING AUTISTIC SO??#I HAVE A TRACK RECORD FOR NOT WANTING TO BE FAKING/THINKING I MUST SOMEHOW BE FAKING#idk how I would fake body pain tho#not a vent btw#it kinda reads like one#idk im just trying to figure out how to not feel apprehensive about using it#its less shame and more ' someone is gonna see me and somehow know i dont need it' even tho I DONT EVEN KNOW IF I DONT NEED IT#chat is it crazy to not want to be in pain all the time and to use something that might help#and if it doesnt its not the end of the world#or os it#are people going to eat me alive for using a cane without knowing if i actually need it#raghhh#back to drawing now#if you read this far#gold star#lets see if i actually post this idk
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We all know about the fuss around Pluto, how many decry its "demotion" to a dwarf planet, and how it's still an honorary planet in the hearts of many, and I totally get it, but I don't think any of you out there are taking it far enough.
What about the rest of the so-called "dwarf" planets, huh? where's their justice? what about Ceres? Haumea? Makemake? Eris? fucking Quaoar?! why have just eight planets when you can have 18?! Why only invite Pluto to the party if you're already gonna expand the guest's list?!
you know what should be "demoted"? fucking Phobos and Deimos, the two "moons" of Mars. these two motherfuckers are proof that the barrier-to-entry for moons is too low. they're barely visible, they don't effect mars in any meaningful way, they aren't even round since they aren't big enough to round themselves under their own gravity, and one of them isn't even in a stable orbit of Mars! Phobos is gonna get ripped apart by mars' gravity in just a few dozen million years!
the concept of a "Dwarf Moon" is too good for them. they should be called, like, sateloids or something. Lunoids at most. fuck em
#all of this is a joke btw#I know why Dwarf Planets are defined separately from the rest of the solar system#but tbf we as a society are sleeping on them hard#if Pluto was discovered after the concept of a dwarf planet was defined#we wouldn't even know it existed#which is a shame because it's a fucking Baller!#you see those close up images we got?!#That Data About It?!#Fucking Sick!#cool and interesting as fuck!#but nobody'd care enough to know if we'd found it after coming up the idea of Dwarf Planets#imagine all the cool & interesting shit out in the Kuiper that'd be common knowledge#if they got the same attention pluto did for being 'The Ninth Planet'!!!!!#also fuck phobos and Deimos#we gotta come up with subcategories for moons fr#bc as it stands right now#a second earth orbiting jupiter#and a mcdonald's-sized boulder orbiting mercury shaped roughly llke mitt romney's dog#would be the same type of celestial object under our classifications#and I feel like there are some SIGNIFICANT DIFFERENCES THERE#like the only thing they'd have in common is orbiting a planet the way a planet orbits a star
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ever after (4/9)
Jason divided most of the coin up into four coin purses, all different colors, with the rest sectioned off into two piles. They'd long since lost the shame of it; we’re basically borrowing it, Jason had said more than once. Once it was pumped back into the marketplace, into the tax tribute, it would eventually end up sitting in someone’s coffers. ... From the rich, to the poor. Nico could think of worse ways to make coin.
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solangelo, 23k.
ao3
#solangelo#nico di angelo#will solace#percy jackon and the olympians#fairytale fic#late post <3 guess who posted last night and immediately crashed on my couch after <3#i am throwing this in the void and running away#part 3 of chap 2 coming soon .......#the shame i even feel typing that out ...
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the consequences of my actions are upon me
#AUUUUUUUUUGHHHHHHHHHHHHH#<- hasnt been keeping in touch at all with old friends from highschool and now theyre all upset at me and mass DMing me#like#i don't even know what to say#it is my fault and my bad lol augh. just#i don't know#it's complicated#i don't know what to tell them half the time anymore and i should be putting the effort to keep the relationships but#man. i don't know. lol there is no excuse i am just really bad at texting it's not the same since we don't see each other every day anymore#... and one of said friends is the type of friend that always has some negative remark disguised as a joke to say to you#and i don't feel like putting up with that either anymore. but again. ITS A ME PROBLEM 😭#because i havent cut them off or anything. and i don't want to#i just let it linger#also the fact that i moved away i don't know. i straight up cannot see them in person anymore to catch up#so it's all through text#man#i don't know. i seriously think i was born to be a monk lost in the mountains or something#i think it all started because i was not able to go to college immediately after graduating#so i hid in shame from everyone and now i am used to not talking to anybody that knew me back then#out of fear of being judged for being a ''loser''
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rewatching community why is jeff winger so transgender. “you lost the right [to talk about women’s bodies] the moment you decided to grow a wang!” from 2x21 the entire little indian girl story from crit film studies HELLOOOOO
#*folding my hands* welcome to my presentation on what jeff wingers genitals would look like#actually i have specific opinions on all the community characters genitals in general but nobody wants to hear that#anyways i think he hasn’t had bottom surgery but was planning to before he got fired from lawyer fraud#and he has like a 4 inch t dick. does not shave but keeps himself well trimmed and used to wax#also his parents were supportive when he came out at likeee 16 (alr suspected somewhat)#they were somewhat not understanding just bc it was the 90s and people arent perfect#but his transness plays into his disconnect from them#bc he feels a lot of shame about it. well FELT past tense bc the greendale crew all know he’s trans and accept it#even pierce who jeff expected to constantly bring it up and harass him#was oddly supportive in a ‘doesnt totallh understand whats up but whatever’#which helped him be a lot more Himself and get over some of that bc. here’s this group of all types of ppl#who donf care! who love and accept him and never question it!#community tv#jeff winger
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Why did I start like three other projects when I was already working on a big project when I just got hit with the autism exhaustion beam (requires. At least One Full Day just dead in bed, and then some more Taking It Easy time after)
#i don't even know what prompted it...#hit w a vision. not enough time to execute it. hit w a vision. too tired to execute it.#i guess technically it was just two huh. but all the moving parts made the other one feel like two in and of itself#oh. now i remember there was another shitpost behind it. i just. didn't get to.#thinking about bruno... thinking about anna... thinking about the fairies... thinking about mirabilis specifically actually#she gets the short end of the stick characterization wise and it's such a shame.#to the point where i was unsure what to do w her... i think i got some ideas rattling around though#I CAN... GIVE HER.... SO MUCH MORE.... without changing too much about her. i just need to extrapolate.#hits her w the disability beam. idk if it's also autism but she has some sort of chronic condition#that just makes you. so tireds. moe and mira shaking hands. let's lay down and rest together.#also thinking about the subtle differences between a full dream and a daydream... between sleeping and just resting#and. making her kitty coded. she is such a kitten pile type girl. she is such a lap cat. queen of catnapping#which i'm thinking works really well w peony and even sharena. not so much moe though 😭💔#i want to capture a playful side. and maybe even a 'i'm still figuring out how i feel about that' side to her#like... i'm imagining peony as someone who's surprisingly insightful and emotionally intelligent.#she's got it all figured out. she already knows. she's not always right. but she tends to know what's up#i'm thinking... maybe mira isn't quite there yet. or struggles to see outside of herself. for obvious/understandable reasons#but she has that unwavering desire for joy and comfort the way peony does. she may feel a pang of jealousy here and there#but it doesn't get in the way of her goals and wants for others. which may be the defining factor actually#like obviously this could get messy if you simplify it too much into 'good' or 'bad'. bc all these girls are DIRECT reflections#of each one's trauma response. assigning morality to that is fucked up. but for story purposes... maybe freyja/freyr did. to a degree.#bc maybe they're flawed and fucked up too. it's about The Cycles. i'm getting so lost in the sauce though LMFAOO#i am GOING to do SOMETHING. for mirabilis. mark my fucking words.
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himh I'll make a Dark Urge that's so fucking scared
big scary bloodsoaked killer, tearing through armies with her literal bare hands? nah. a quiet, scared girl who doesn't understand why she does what she does, why she can do what she can, but is, at the same time, deeply disgusted by herself because she has just enough self-awareness to know to be repulsed.
maybe it's because I'm a tiny bit obsessed with clinging to the thought that people, at the end of the day, are fundamentally good, no matter what. that there is a fundamental human goodness in all people that makes them worthy of redemption, or at least of the opportunity for atonement.
maybe the way I want to play a story like that is with someone who, stripped from indoctrination and free for the first time to think for herself and embrace and be who she is, finds that in the deepest, most hidden pits of her soul, she is not the strong, kind, resilient person she might want to be. try as the might, she is not someone who can bear the weight of her own past, she's just a... a terrified, broken little girl, cowering in the shadows and unable to look herself in the eye. (which also gives me ideas for her relationship with Orin but that's a little bit beside the point)
cathartic self-insert who. therapy? what is that. is it on Steam or Epic.
#video games are cheaper than therapy i know from experience#squirrel plays bg3#oc: mara#watching my partner play his durge last night i had Thoughts#so far i'm thinking that this intense fear will be what initially draws my girl to Karlach#because karlach is so.... bright. and exuberant. and even chivalrous in her way#she's so LOUDLY good that her presence is louder than even the fear and... there is something really sweet about that#it'll be a bit of a change of pace for me to REALLY lean into playing a character who... isn't a protector in any way#someone who doesn't put their feelings last#not even out of pure obligation or self-preservation#but rather they are someone who NEEDS comfort and protection#and at the same time IS the danger itself yknow#(my default boys Arvid and Ray are sort of different flavors of a “kinght” archetype)#(the former is the “courage is overcoming fear”-type)#(the latter is the “fate's puppet; thrown at ever-increasing horrors until one finally kills him [and maybe he'll even welcome that]” type)#(Iona may be the most emotionally intelligent but she is in survival mode for a long time which complicates things)#(Petyr is selfish and kinda.... phlegmatic; performatively indifferent until he's yanked from it)#(but Mara will be... feeling ALL of her feelings. and I think Karlach will make her feel the closest to what she can think of as “normal”)#(there's perpetrator guilt. and shame. and fear. disgust at her own urges. intrusive thoughts and bodily reactions that disturb her.)#(i think she'll be pretty fascinating to play)#(holy tag novel dang)
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You can use a lot of words you know? You don't have to talk yourself around stuff like "It's famous Nazi code for an abbreviation for their popular motto which I won't be repeating here" when you really can just explain that 88 is supposed to represent the Hitler salute because H is the 8th letter in the alphabet? You don't even have to say the words but I mean wouldn't it make more sense to actually explain something instead of vaguely talking around it for some sense of...of what? What's the use in nor calling the thing by it's name? Won't that do more harm than good? I mean if people know they shouldnt do something but don't really know why then they won't take it that serious no?
#sorry very stream of consciousness type of posting (and is there ever any other kind on this blog?)#and if it's about the actual word then you can use those uh#goose feet#the uh#'''''<- those#usually in text you put quotation marks yes thats the word around words with complicated historical connotations#thats how I've been tought at least#I'm not sure if that's how it goes in america but I've been tought that you never use words like the Nazi “the Jew'' without quotations#because they are historically and socially critical and in a text it would look like you're actually kind of a nazi yourself if you just#threw words around like that#yanno?#i think thats better than not using words because they might me triggering#i will respect it if asked of course but I'm not going to censor myself for the sake of seeming more sanitised or whatever#i hate that kind of trend that seems to be in media nowadays#whatwith unalive and grape and all#we have words for that. use them. do you not hear yourself. ''why are we glorifying corn on paper'' do you not feel shame writing like that?#it's all very. idk#almost performative it feels like#you know how I mean?#we're not going to say the evil evil words because people might be triggered (as if they'd be less triggered if you added one letter i don't#quite think thats how reading works) but are we actually going to fill the shoes we want to walk in and take the same attitudes#away from the Instagram comment section on a video of someone talking about zeus the mystical figure being depicted as attractive and#acusing them of glorifying a rapist when yeah no the guy was considered attractive can we stop conflating good looks with moriality can we#all just think?#like normal people?#some things you're just meant to be grossed out by why are we trying to make everything seem soft and harmless#''hes a pdf file'' grow a pair will you and talk in a way people will actually understand it's actually good if you're a little upset#by the idea of someone grooming kids that's a good response to have why are we tryinh to minimise that?#this got a tad beavy you don't have tk read until.here but if you did I'm sorry#I'm barely even awake i don't do well like tjis
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thinking a lot abt the whole 'I'd marry you with paper rings' trend ...
#❛ ♡ › jupiter : 𝐨𝐨𝐜.#TBH THE ONLY MUSE ID SAY WOULD HAVE A NEGATIVE REACTION IS JUN.KO JUST BC. if she loved you she would want to see the look of horror on your#face for being shamed on it 🥲#you could say shi.ro but naa his declarations of love would be closer to intertwining your souls (figuratively and literally)#some of them would very much be the type to say if they didnt want just paper rings to let them know but i think theyd find it precious ...#smth handmade like that. well intentioned. even if u had the money who is to say ud have the time to go out and buy one#they can get wedding rings. if they have the money theyll go all out - u feel me#im back into my proposal/wedding fever for like no reason. help!!!
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cw disturbing (especially tags), about a nightmare i had that i keep thinking about
I had a nightmare the other day that at the beginning of class the teacher went row by row in the auditorium and announced what was the worst thing done by a person in that row (without saying who it was). As he got to my row I felt anxious, hoping the people in my row were worse people than I was. There was no way he could possibly know anyway. Obviously I had no such luck and he said my thing, and though nobody could know it was me it felt like everyone could see through me and like in my whole life I deserve nothing but shame. To make myself feel better I say I do not believe in the concept of deserving. I think if all that heaven and hell shit was real this would be what the judgment would be like. There are things wrong with me.
#iso.txt#this was not even the worst part of the dream#i cannot type out or think of the worst part without feeling physically sick#but at least it was not real#basically it was like. someone i cared about got murdered and i found their body in the freezer……#it was completely unrelated to this part btw#it just rapidly transitioned to i was at my birthday party in a few years#and then we noticed they were not there and i found a door that opens and i saw that#like it was a separate dream basically but it is all undercut by the same sense of shame#of being unable to do the right thing to prevent bad things from happening#to not cause bad things to happen
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Me up at 2:30 AM trying to find a my little pony speedpaint series I liked 5 years ago, scrolling through piles of gore and smut only to find that the artist deleted their account and all their videos...
#the average mlp fan experience#man this reawakened a bit of trauma#the fact that a completely clean artist left the fandom out of shame#probably because they spun characters on a wheel and made fankids of them#but that's not even the cringiest type of thing to me#like okay i'll give it to them that the gore mlp artists are talented#but bro... what's so appealing about mlp?#what draws you like wasps to a juice?#i would like to have a discussion about this#i forget the artist's name but it was something involving light brown foods i think#i feel... loss#mlp#mlp fandom#cw mention of smut#cw mention of gore#just in case#bronies really traumatized a whole generation#but honestly I think we had it better than the next few#what a thing to find when you're barely a teen#thanks internet
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"love should be warm... but to you, it's become a form of punishment"
#SO RAWWWWW#something about him being an orphan... something about him having killed for vengeance at a young age...#i don't know it feels like a more personal line than just speaking out of his beliefs on justice#he definitely knows what it's like to be hurt by people who should have loved you and left alone and uncared for#but more than any lack of sympathy he could feel for that man he genuinely hopes he changes for the little girl's sake and i think that's#a subtle way to show who he is and who he has become?! idk not coherent but i liked the trailer a lot#i'm excited to find out more about him through his quest#one of my favourite genres of genshin characters really is deeply traumatised cryo user and i think that's beautiful 😂#wrio 🤝 shenhe 🤝 kaeya = everything to me#but like can we talk about wrio being silly and warm and actually easy to talk to and how he doesn't hide the way he feels?#because it's so easy to close yourself after you go through those types of hard experiences but it's genuinely refreshing to see how#bright he is even if he can come across as cold like the little girl said we know that's not his demeanour#the fact he so openly admits he had a bad childhood and isn't able to trust people without any shame?? refreshing#i think he's just so easy to relate to and he feels incredibly dynamic as a character#i love him sm#genshin leaks#< because i talk about the voice lines and that hasn't been released yet
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every time i think the "staff can do no wrong and any form of complaining or expressing literally anything other than "yaaay love it <3" with no further comments is bashing and literally evil we should never say anything that could even potentially be interpreted as mildly critical ever because ~some artist who worked hard on this is probably reading the forums and might feel bad if we ever express anything but praise~ also we must be constantly positive at all times unless we're passive-aggressively shaming someone for having an extremely polite and apologetically worded criticism and if you ask the staff for literally anything you had better be prepared to preface it with 3 paragraphs of apologizing for breathing air" attitude is bad on tumblr, i take one look at the forums, and holy fucking hell is it SO much worse on site
#i go for years at a time without ever bothering to look at fr forums#and then every time i do i remember why i stopped#it feels like a goddamned cult on there and every time i dip my toes i come out feeling slimy and sick#as if i just spent an hour being aggressively gaslit by my extremely manipulative grandmother#what the fuck is wrong with everyone#i'm glad i decided to keep this creepy fucking fandom at arm's length and mostly just lurk years ago#that place is not a healthy environment for anyone to be in#flight rising#legitimately the single worst fandom i've ever had the misfortune of being adjacent to#and in such a creepy and insidious way too#they'll call you an entitled whiny baby to your face and then convince you it's your fault and you're a horrible person for feeling offende#it feels like being neck deep in the absolute worst kind of preformative sj spaces#you know the ones where everyone interacts primarily via callout posts and there's discourse over if crossdressing is cultural appropriatio#that kind of toxic sj space type energy#but somehow combined with like this weird feeling of being in a mormon church in a deep south town#where all the “nice grandmas” will try to put poison in your food if they find out you're gay or voted blue even one time#and it's somehow gotten SO much worse since the last time i looked on there#they've got people literally apologizing for existing what the fuck how is this normal to any of you people#this is so far beyond toxic positivity it's like. crossbred with passive-aggression and shaming and metastatized into something new entirel#it's terrifying. i hope flight rising never shuts down just so that whatever the fuck this is can stay semi-contained.#pro tip: the more a fandom is universally convinced it's Wonderful and Welcoming the faster you should run the other way#actually good fandoms don't have to constantly reassure themselves and everyone that they're great and perfect and toxicity-free#nor do they react with immediate borderline violence to the slightest suggestion there might be anything wrong with the fandom culture#anything wrong other than “people like you who think there's something wrong with our perfect community” anyway#on that note also any fandom that insistently calls itself a “community” just. yeah. no.#get out while you still can.#fandoms work on corporate logic if they're trying to convince you they're your family or friend that's not just a red flag#that's a whole damn red fabric store
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hi update things are fucking terrible and my eyes hurt from sobbing. lol
#purrs#delete later#not to liveblog and be tmi or whatever but i feel terribly alone and terribly miserable so this is in fact a cry for help lol. or really#comfort bc im fucking going insane. so for context last spring when i was still an intern another intern orchestrated this back channel#where everyone was supposed to talk shit about our supervisors (my dearest most belovedest mentors) and all of us hid it for months and it#all came to a head at asb 2022 because there was a lot of drama witb the asb student facilitators and our staff team. and it was sooooo ugl#and messy and horrible and probably played a direct role in one of my dearest beloved est mentors (who was the point person for asb) fuckin#getting a new job and abandoning us in july lol 😃😃😃😃😃😃😃 and so i became a full time staff member and me and my remaining dearest belovedest#colleague besties fucking carried the world on oh r shoulders and put on amazing programs as just 3 of us in the core staff and we thought#we were doing a really good job with the asb 2023 leaders and that there were no drama dynamics or whatever and guess fucking what. tonight#we found out that half of them hate us for reasons we still don’t know and all of them are at each others throats and also some of the#participants feel a type of way about us. and i know i am being a fragile sensitive crybaby over it but i have had terrible cramps all day#and have barely slept since ive been here and feel like ive been bending over backwards to support the leaders only to find out that half o#them think we’re evil and i just… i couldn’t take it. so i cried and now im beating myself up for crying. but it’s like come ON. i know we#did a pretty imperfect job of preparing them for this. and i should just take responsibility for that and not be defensive. but it’s like…#have NEVER seen this program in person before or been part of the planning of it. i was just a student last year like all of you. and also#HOW many fucking times did we create space for you to talk to us and invite us in. and still this shit happened. and i just feel like a#failure. and i couldn’t react to that information in any way except cry liek it’s all so over my head and out of my depth and im not as#emotionally mature as my colleagues bc im the youngest and this is my first time dealing with this and i feel so incompetent and like i#failed. failed the first time by not speaking up when i was implicated in the stupid fucking Google form back channel situation last year#and now failed the second time by not being able to prevent this stupid drama bullshit from happening again and for not catching it. and jf#like… im in excruciating physical pain and haven’t slept and haven’t eaten well and my life is falling apart and we were ABANDONED BY THE#PERSON WHO WAS RESPONDIBLE FOR THIS (i know we weren’t abandoned she literally just got a new job i just have psychological issues) and#we’ve been running at a million miles per hour with absolutely no break and now you’re mad at us and not even telling us and it’s impacting#everyone’s experiences but you want to pretend this is fucking high school and keep secrets. i am TIRED of drama. i am TIRED of this stupid#bullshit. and not to say this bc i don’t know if asb 2022 drama factored into her decision to leave but if it did i get why * left now. i#get it. bc this shit makes me want to jump out the hotel window. i do not want to face any of them tomorrow and deal with more bullshit. i#am emotionally unstable and incompetent and not equipped to deal with this in a mature healthy way. i want this to be over NOW. im done.#ok i think that’s it um. sorry about that i just needed other people to know i am suffering and i will suppress the shame i feel about that#just this once. esp bc i denied myself the opportunity for my colleague besties to comfort me while i was crying and i regret it now lol
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i feel like i need a good cry. like just absolutely sobbing my eyes out, unable to catch my breath, headache inducing cry. (goes on about my day as normal)
#(venting in the tags haaaa)#average emotion in my head for meeeeee#like i’m worrying about my future again. normal atp.#but i’m also starting to feel shame about myself specifically my sexuality again bc. idk.#it just makes me feel really lonely.#my family is like. weird about it ig. but it’s like valid concerns.#‘be proud but not too proud!’ yknow. like yeah don��t be ashamed of who you are but also don’t be open to anyone about it ever or else#they might hate you or not wanna hire you (big one) but don’t let anyone judge you!!!!#mainly it’s my mom w/ this me and my dad just don’t. talk about it.#last time we did it was during an argument and it was like ‘you have time to figure out you’re a lesbian but not about your future’#type thing. like mind u i didn’t even wanna come out to him.#but their concerns are valid like obviously. i gotta focus on my future. wtf i’m gonna do. and ik my sexuality is gonna. but idk#like i’m black and a woman you think that’s not gonna hinder my job opportunities also?? whatever who cares#anyway. ENOUGH VENTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?!?! THE WEEKEND IS ALMOST HEREEEE#my text
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man, you think you put in the work. figured it all out. but then there's more.
#'ah shit here we go again'#rethinking my sexuality pt. 1#i don't know why but it's so freaking funny to me. frustrating for sure! but so funny#like. my guy! my homeboy! i thought we figured this out a decade ago!!#i feel like a pokemon. the evolution doesn't stop at putting the clown make-up on. next form's got a fucking WIG#and a whole ass clown SUIT#why not slap on a duel typing? ain't got nothing to lose#asexual AND kinky? not sure what good that'll do in a battle but WHY NOT#'how can we make bug as uncomfortable with themselves as humanly possible'#truly the 'build-a-bear' of confusing and conflicting wants and desires#sex is only appealing in the privacy of my own mind. and fanfiction. (loads of fanfiction). yeah.#no shame in that. not even going to pretend that there is.#like suddenly a lot of things make sense while a lot of things no longer make sense#brain goes 'hold my beer' and then just.. 'brrrrr'. very helpful#personal
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