#the series is basically 'what if they had a kid and experienced even more horrors than in the original story'. Sorry lmao

[darlingsart]

Achilles and baby Max hanging out in their garden 🪻

I’ve been busy writing the next chapter of this fic and it’s making me miss the early chapters when things were so simple 🥺

Speedpaint up on my Patreon! || Start the series on ao3 here!

[supermenz]

one

summary: One is the loneliest number that you'll ever do; two can be as bad as one, it's the loneliest number since the number one. Or: you're two years old when you lose your parents. Your brother, a kid himself, is unable to give you the love you deserve, and you end up at twenty being as burn out as only a Gotham University student can be. So, what do you do? Change scenery, of course.

pairing(s): clark kent x wayne!reader, bruce wayne x sister!reader, eventual platonic batfam x reader (no use of y/n)

warnings: genius kid trope, kinda doomed siblings, language, there are reference to what happens in "the batman" but there will be a merge of both comics and films, written with david!superman in mind cuz he's my pookie 😞, bruce is so pathetic i love him sm

word count: 2.2k

author's note: my first ever fanfic for the dc universe!! constructive criticism is welcomed as english is not my first language,

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Gotham has left you feeling more claustrophobic in the last few months than it did all your life. 

Maybe it’s because you’re seeing your brother slip into his work — aka beating criminals in the night as a hobby — more and more, or maybe it’s just your brain playing tricks on you. It’s probably the latter. 

You’ve never been good with emotions — it comes with being a Wayne, and surely, having your parents die before you were three didn’t help your situation. Bruce spending most of your childhood abroad with barely any contact with you also probably didn’t help either. 

“But I’m here now,” he had said once, “Am I not?”

He is, but even if you love him with all your heart, sometimes you think that you’re more like colleagues rather than siblings. Your bond is strained, with him being so closed-off and spending most of his free time cosplaying as a bat, and you having just entered your twenties, trying to get your second degree in biology after an early graduation and an even earlier PhD in engineering. And since his first big case four years ago, neither of you has been the same. 

Your relationship has never been easy. The flood and the Riddler’s case basically forced you to trauma bond over what you both had experienced, as surely no therapist would’ve wanted to hear about all the horrors that you two experienced, even for all the money in the world. Besides, it’s not like Bruce could just enter a therapist’s office and tell them that he’s the fucking Batman. 

As of now, you tend to have your… ups and downs. Both prefer to just hide behind paperwork, projects, cases or research rather than just talk some things out. Because yes, Bruce’s your brother, but that doesn’t mean he’s easy to love. There are some days where he seems to be barely able to talk to you, others where you know he just wants to scream at you for whatever reason, others where… others where you think he might just crumble at your feet and start crying. 

You don’t have a lot in common. Maybe that’s why he manages to stay in Gotham even after all that’s happened — combined with the fact that he’s spent ten years or so abroad. Maybe you need that, too. 

“I’m thinking of moving out,” you tell him during one of your rare dinners together. You have already talked about your plan to Alfred, who has shown his support towards the idea and urged you to get out of Gotham as soon as you could, but you also wanted to tell Bruce — just to be honest with him. 

Yes, he left you to study abroad all those years ago without any kind of goodbye or anything, but you have no intention of leaving him behind like he did to you — you may be grown adults now, but that doesn’t mean that being left behind doesn’t exist anymore. You doubt Bruce would ever feel left behind by you, of all people, but still. “Found a faculty in Metropolis that will be able to transfer all my credits and studies and a nice flat downtown near the Wayne Enterprises’ site there. I think I need a breath of fresh air– I need to go somewhere where the sun actually shines and not everyone has hidden agendas.”

You’ve heard good things about Metropolis, and you think that the Martha Wayne Foundation could be expanded a bit more — somewhere far from Gotham, where surely there are other orphanages, other people in need that could use some help. “I could handle Wayne Enterprise’s gestion and settle our matters there while continuing my studies in a more… calm environment.” calm is a big word for a metropolitan city as big and populated as Metropolis, but every city is calm in contrast to Gotham.  

Your brother doesn’t say anything. He just stares at you, wide-eyed, fork still raised to eat the potatoes Alfred cooked, his face blank. Is he having a heart attack? You didn’t think that you moving out would’ve been such horrendous news for him. Yes, even if you are not that close he’s still very protective, but he went to live abroad at ten. You’re twenty and you’re just… moving to Delaware. It’s not like you’re going to the fucking Himalaya mountains as he did. 

(Meanwhile, Bruce is spiraling. He wonders when the hell did his little sister grow up, how it can be that she isn’t the little girl he used to sway around anymore, and why would she ever want to move out. Is it because of him? Did something happen? 

Isn’t Metropolis in another state? Is he so tremendous that you have to move states in hopes to forget about him? Is he too overbearing? He thought he had always given you enough space to do your own thing–)

Instead of saying all of the things he’s thinking, he tries to muster up a smile, even if it comes out as a grimace. “Alright.” 

He nearly jumps out of his seat when you beam at him — is he really that obnoxious that you can’t wait to move out and have him out of your life? “Oh, I’m happy that you’re taking it well! I was afraid you’d freak out.” you get up from your seat and move over to hug him, and he chuckles nervously. “Why would I? You’re an adult, you can do what you want.” 

(What do you mean?!, his conscience screams in his head, She isn’t even twelve! Just yesterday she was talking about going to the homecoming dance with her friends–

But time has passed, and even if Bruce feels that it was particularly hard on him, he didn’t think it’d affect you too, somehow. It’s weird acknowledging something’s — someone’s — changes in the years in… so little. He had gotten so used to you being his little sister that he didn’t even think about you becoming a full on woman. He still remembers the pink bundle of blankets your parents had given him that day at the hospital, telling him to be careful with her, she’s your little sister.

When have you grown this much? Where did the time go? He swears it was just yesterday when you were admitted to Gotham University.) 

“But… a flat? Are you sure you’ll be comfortable there? It’s not exactly as big as a manor.” 

You avoid his gaze, scratching the back of your head. “Yeah, about that…”

He raises an eyebrow, “Let me guess, you bought the whole building?” 

You snap your fingers, “They don’t call you the greatest detective for nothing!” you sit back down, cutting the meat on your plate, “I plan on making the floors I won’t live in into a laboratory of sort– almost like the Batcave, y’know, so I can continue working on the models I designed undisturbed.”

When Bruce had started his crusade as Batman, you had just gotten your bachelor’s degree in engineering, and were working on your master’s degree. You had basically given him the head-start, creating the software of the Batcomputer (or of the computer, as he calls it), designed and adapted a sport’s car to the Batmobile (just call it the car, Bruce always insists) and basically modified and created every single one of the gadgets and systems he uses. 

You just hope he won’t let the Batcomputer get hacked as soon as you land in Metropolis — you spent weeks programming her and years perfecting her system. You spent so much time on her, she might as well be your firstborn by now. 

“I’ll always be a call away,” you murmur when your brother’s eyes get a little dazy, unfocused– like he’s in another world, always thinking about the worst that could happen. “You know that, right?”

Bruce blinks. “Yeah. Yeah, I– I know that.” 

(He isn't sure about that.) 

You pat his hand, mustering a smile. "Maybe you should take a break, too. Why don't you book a vacation in, let's say... the Bahamas? Just to get a bit tanned and remember what the sun actually looks like."

He shakes his head. "Can't. Batman doesn't go on vacation."

You raise an eyebrow, sighing in defeat. "Well, I'm sure the GCPD could handle Gotham for a few days, but do as you like."

Your arrival in Metropolis is, of course, followed by an unhinged swarm of journalists and press that surround you as soon as you land.

You can already see the headlines — THE PRINCESS OF GOTHAM NOW IN METROPOLIS or some other corny predictable shit like that — as they shove their cameras in your face, screaming and trying to grab you, as your bodyguards try to contain them. You're much calmer than they are, having already endured years and years of invasive journalists.

“Miss Wayne, would you care to tell us the reason for this abrupt change in scenery?”

“Has your move got anything to do with your relationship with your brother?”

“Miss Wayne, look here! A smile for the front page–”

“Miss Wayne, why Metropolis, of all places?”

“Miss Wayne, a word for the Daily Planet?”

The guy for the Daily Planet catches your attention– he seems far too nice and isn’t elbowing anyone; he must be either new at the job or is too nice for it. He’s got a mop of curly, black hair atop his head, thick glasses perched on his nose, baby blue eyes behind them. His posture is a little crooked — he’s getting squeezed by reporters on both of his sides — but, even as disheveled as he is, you notice a thing. 

Ohh, he’s pretty. Like, jaw-dropping pretty, the kind of pretty that makes you want to bite his cheek and never let go for the rest of your life. 

You stop in your tracks, lifting your sunglasses to your head, bodyguards panicking at the swarm of journalists that suddenly all point to one direction; you reach for the pocket of your jeans and take out a business card that you pat on the pretty reporter’s chest. “Another time, pretty boy,” you promise as he takes the card, his fingers brushing yours, the other journalists speechless around you. “I’m kinda busy right now.” 

You don’t stay long enough to see him blush and hold the business card tight in his palm so that the other reporters don’t snatch it out of his grip — the bodyguards urge you forward, towards the SUV with obscured windows that is waiting for you right in front of the arrivals’ exit of the airport. One of them opens the door for you, and you don’t hesitate to get inside, the car speeding off as soon as everyone’s inside. 

“Never seen anything like this,” one of the men mutters.

You shrug, “I’ve had worse.” 

The ride to your building is short, mostly because it’s late in the evening and there aren’t many people still around. You leave a generous tip to both the bodyguards and the driver, thanking them but assuring them that you can walk alone the thirty steps that separate you from the entrance to what’ll be your home for the foreseeable future. They help you take out your trolley and duffle bag, which you swing over your shoulder right after taking the keys of the building out. 

You open the front door, carefully closing it behind you, taking the elevator right in front of it. You press the number thirty out of thirty-four, which turns green with a ding, and wait for the doors to open back up. And once they do, you’re not disappointed. 

The loft is arranged just like how you asked the movers to — it would’ve been hard not to, as you sent them the 3D interior design plan you had made, but still. You’ve been raised with the idea that if you want something done well, you have to do it yourself, so you’re pretty happy about how it turned out. 

Still, something’s missing. 

You check around the loft for any pieces of missing furniture or something like that, not finding anything. You even go back to the 3D model to make sure that everything got here safe and sound, only to find that yes, everything is in the colour you ordered and exactly in the place you asked for it to be. 

You sit on the U-shaped couch that sits right in front of the giant windows that let on the skyline of Metropolis, eyebrows knit in deep thought. The house is nice — for fuck’s sake, you bought a whole building just for you and your projects — but it’s weird not having anyone else around. There’s no Alfred to welcome you, no half-asleep Bruce roaming without an idea of where he is, no squeaking and creaking of the floor when you walk. 

You sigh. “Maybe I should get a cat.” 

[cosmerelists]

If Cosmere characters had to find work in a new genre...

[SPOILERS for Yumi & Nightmare Painter in #7--beware!]

Oh no! The Cosmere series is laying off its characters, and now they have to go and find work in other genres. Into what other genres could these characters most easily go?

1. Western: Wax & Wayne

Wax: I mean, this one is obvious, right? We're basically characters in a western already. Wayne: Yeah! You'll just have to remember that you can't manipulate bullets with your mind. Wayne: And I'll have to remember that I can only survive being shot...what? Three or four times? Wax: ... Wax: We will not survive long.

2. Science Fiction: Navani

Navani: My qualifications include "having built a literal flying ship" and "being of a race that comes from a different planet." Jasnah: So you are the alien invader in this scenario? Navani: I like to think I'm the beneficent kind.

3. YA Fiction: Siri

Siri: I mean...I'm a beautiful seventeen-year-old with magic hair and a rebellious streak. Siri: I think my best bet is this or "Disney princess."

4. Shonen Anime: Kaladin

Kaladin: I got a giant sword. Kaladin: Flashy powers. Kaladin: Dramatic powerups and even more dramatic one-liners. Kaladin: A crew of other superpowered folks bound to me by the power of friendship. Kaladin: I even get fight sequences that only lead me to respecting my opponent and becoming their friend. Kaladin: I mean...come on.

5. Horror: Silence, Yumi, and Painter

Silence: Not saying my life is a horror show or anything, but... Silence: I do live on, like, a hell planet full of ghosts. Painter: I live on a darkness planet full of living nightmares. Painter: Plus, I kinda lived "Invasion of the Body Snatchers." Yumi: One, I resent that. Yumi: And two, I got the ghosts, the nightmare planet, AND religious trauma! Silence: I'm...happy for you? Yumi: Thanks, I guess!

6. Spy Thriller: Rlain and Ranette

Rlain: I mean, I did literally work as a spy so I have the qualifications. Ranette: And I can make cool tech devices. Ranette: Do you want a suit whose lapels give off knock-out gas? Rlain: That does sound pretty cool... Ranette: We'll get along fine, kid.

7. Detective Novel: Marasi

Marasi: I think I could pull off "hard-boiled detective"--I've done my share of investigate work. MeLaan: Oooh! Ooh! Can I be the femme fatale?! Marasi: Uh...

8. Romance: Susebron

Susebron: I hear that tall, brooding, silent men are a staple of the genre. Susebron: PLUS, I know what sex is now! Susebron: That's gotta be a bonus!

9. Historical Fiction: Dalinar

Dalinar: Thanks to my visions, I have experienced several historical periods. Dalinar: I seemed to fit in them all with some degree of success. Lift: Yeah! A tight butt is always in style!

10. Children's Picture Book: Lift

Lift: Since I'm just a little kid, I don't see where ELSE I could go. Wyndle: M-Mistress, I'm not sure you would be, uh, the best example for little kids... Lift: What do you mean? I bet I could steal a food for every letter of the alphabet and that'd be stormin' educational! Wyndle: ... Lift: Sorry, sorry. Lift: Storming educational. Wyndle: T-THAT WASN'T THE ISSUE

[copperbadge]

Supposedly, people with Anphantasia don't get scared reading scary stories, or at least not much. Is that true with you if you ever read Horror?

You know, I'd never thought about it, but I suppose it is. To an extent, anyway.

Follows a discussion of my relationship to horror prose and media; if you don't know what aphantasia is, as many people coming to this tumblr don't, I have a tag for it here that may help -- it's basically the lack of a "mind's eye", a visual imagination, so I hear/read things and don't see an image of them in my mind. If you are scoffing right now that nobody actually has a mind's eye, congratulations, you may also have aphantasia. The articles linked in the tag will be useful to you.

I have definitely been scared by prose before but it's very rare, and not much since I was a child, when the stories I found scary were preying on fears I already had. I loved the Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark books, and I think it's not unusual that I found the illustrations more frightening than the prose, but the only story that ever scared me was the one about the vampire who kept trying to grab a kid through a window -- because I had a window over my bed in my childhood bedroom and I was terrified I'd look up to see someone looking down at me through it. Likewise, as an adult, the only content in horror I find scary is what I think of as "mind horror" -- the loss of faculty or the loss of awareness of faculty (think the end scene of the novel Hannibal with the brain). Which is one of my biggest fears.

I don't read much horror because generally I get bored, which has in the past made me feel faintly appalled at myself, but which now makes more sense. Certainly I have no interest in slasher-style gore in prose, because I find it uninteresting and it goes on a really long time, while I don't watch it in movies/TV because the visual is upsetting -- so if I was getting the visual from the prose I might react more emotionally. I am a fan of Stephen King but mostly his early work where he was shorter on suspense, and I was reading it because I liked the ideas and the characters. Carrie is super interesting because of the personalities involved, not because of the violence or the horror aspects. But I've never seen a movie adaptation and I can imagine I would be deeply unsettled if not distraught by certain scenes if depicted visually. Although I didn't find the Hannibal TV series super upsetting (I mostly was put off by how bad I imagined Will smelled) so perhaps body horror just doesn't do it for me.

This may also explain my hard-no on zombie media, because I'm not scared at all of zombies, I just find them boring and gross, and that leaves the post-apocalyptic humans. My hard-no on post-apocalypse anything is an aversion to imagining the end of my world, though, which isn't visual, it's conceptual, and not scary, just upsetting.

Like, people kept suggesting Zombies Run! to me when I was taking up running and -- well, one, I needed the music to keep my pace, I didn't want it interrupted. But two, I didn't see why a bunch of random groaning noises would make me run faster. If you could see zombies chasing you in your head, yeah, that'd probably be more motivating.

It kind of explains too why I haven't written much horror. I used to be very curious about how people worked out what's "scary" in horror prose and I guess part of the curiosity came from not experiencing it myself. It's tough to know how to write a scary story when stories don't scare you.

To be clear, I definitely experience fear. Reading Stephen King's "It" didn't really scare me, but there were scary moments in the film adaptations. I startle at jumpscares. There's plenty of stuff in real life that I'm scared of. And even podcasts -- I don't get mental images during podcasts like apparently most people do, but Magnus Archives got me with the "digging into your pre-existing fears" thing once or twice, and while I didn't finish The Left Right Game (I just got bored) the hitchhiker scene definitely got me. But I think, unless it's playing on something conceptual that already existed, yeah, I don't find prose particularly frightening.

Huh. This feels like the kind of thing that could have a significant impact on my creative output if I could crowbar my way into it. Knowing that I as an aphantic don't need descriptions that other people do has already, I think, impacted my editing process, but this feels like it maybe would somehow have an effect on the whole thing -- the fact that I don't experience emotions when reading in the same way other people do because I don't get the visuals is something to meditate on.

How the fuck did I ever even become a writer. Like what's up with that.

(Ironically it was X-Files fanfic. X-Files, a show that very much did scare me, for which I wrote and read a lot of fanfic, none of which did...yikes. Well, that's something to meditate on for the weekend.)

[thesharktanksdriver]

Mist veiled eyes (platonic)

I personally adore both silent hill and resident evil. I know both fandoms make jokes about one another so i decided to make something off of it. Originally I was also gonna add a Jill route but this was getting too long to write (maybe another day but not now)

I put in some P.T references for fun and sadness at it never being released (I still mourn). Y/n in this isn’t quite human anymore. Not even they know what they are now after experiencing the town but they don’t question it

Sorry if this is cheesy (tbh both series have their cheesy moments despite being horror games) and that this came out so late. I’ve been busy lol

Content warning: death, blood, trauma, mention of cult stuff, monsters, the usual for resident evil and silent hill (what else do you expect lol)

You think you had once been excited to go to your dads old town

He was a stern man, one who had kept secrets from both you and your mom

Someone who had once guarded his past to his chest and mind

Never once cracking and spilling its contents despite the questions that you had once pestered him about

It felt nice at first that he was seemingly opening up

He’d always been distant with you

Never really showing you anything other than the basic necessity

But now he was seemingly opening up

Showing a part of himself to you

You opinion quickly changed though on the drive there

At some point in the drive your mom fell asleep while you listened to your Walkman

Eventually as you went to change tapes and there was no music blaring in your ears you heard the radio

For a solid minute it was static

Pure static that your father was listening to

But then you hear it morph

And in that static you begin to hear a voice more and more clearly

It’s male, a radio station host

The radio man was talking about a father who killed his wife and kids

What’s odd though is the man’s tone of voice and how much info he has on the murder

He talks about it in extreme detail that not even police would know about

In an intense silence your dad listened

Quietly you heard your dad mumble what seemed to be a sequence of numbers over and over again

In the distance of the dark night sky illuminated by the headlights is the sign

The place that would forever change you

Silent Hill

The gate to the place is closed off, chain link yet despite that your dad keeps driving

Plowing straight through it making your mom startle awake

There’s a heavy mist surrounding the car as he drives into the seemingly abandoned town

Mom is yelling at him asking what the fuck he was thinking

But all you can focus on is the crackle of the radio, it’s getting louder in your ears despite no one touching the dial

You reach to silence it

Yet as your finger barely grazed the knob the radio host stops his anti-government rant

“Don’t touch that dial now, we’re just getting started”

A shiver racks your spine

How did-

Before you can question anything else your moms scream echoes out in the car and you jolt back

Your dads attacking her

Instantly you move to help her but there’s only so much you can do against him before a deafening crack fills the car

The radio host cackles in a twisted tone

In a blind panic you throw open the car door and run

Your dad yells for you to “get your ass back in the car” and that “you must serve your purpose!”

It’s confusing and your mind is spinning

You run into the fog despite the fact you can’t see 3 feet in front of you

It stays like that for who knows how long until you finally find and unlocked shop

It’s abandoned as hell but you find momentary relief flood you as you sit down on dirty tiles and cry

You cry and cry till your eyes are red and you can’t cry anymore

Eventually you look around the old store, it seemed to be a laundromat

Hesitantly you get up, shivering from either the cold or silence you don’t know

But then you that silence is broken when on a laundry machine a small radio comes to life

A chilling static noise ringing as you hear something else in the nearby pitch black doorway

Immediately you hunch down to hide behind the machines

Peaking out to see something entering

Not someone

That wasn’t human

Tears line your eyes once more as your hand clasps over your mouth

Frantic eyes look for an escape but all options would lead it to noticing you

And then your eyes land on something

Close enough in range for you to grab is an old pipe

Long enough where you aren’t too close and study enough to hurt whatever that thing was

Your hand reaches as you hear its footsteps getting close

Fingertips digging into the cold metal and readying it

This was the beginning of your own personal hell

Like the radio host one said

“We’re just getting started”

You one day emerge out the fog of that old town that reeked of death

It was a cold night, but despite it you don’t shiver nor do your teeth chatter

Your mind is…hazy

The main events leading to you escaping are blurry but so is the rest of your mind

Thinking back to your escape are just flashes of disjoined pictures

It’s like their not properly developed pictures

There are clearly things and people there but their distorted blobs of colour that need more time to come together

You walk the lone and forgotten road

Still unpacking your mind but not panicked

In fact your more calm than anything as you walk for hour upon hours until you reach civilization again

Your not exactly sure what it had done to you

You had killed several monsters of nightmarish compression made up from the demons of your mind

Trauma taking a literal form in the shape of entities for you to bash with whatever weapon you could find

An axe now instead of that old pipe

Occasionally being gifted a few bullets to hopefully put down the demons that clawed at you

When it was finally over

The mist being lifted off this abandoned sleepy town

Radio going silent

Rusted blood of the other world chipping away as you finally found resolve

Something remained

A piece of that place

Silent hill staying with you even as you left it for good

Maybe it was a new trauma replacing the one it had helped (help in large quotations) you work through

But you knew it was different from that

You felt physically different

Sometimes when staring in a mirror you didn’t recognize yourself

Looking at the old Polaroids it felt as if someone else was staring back

Perhaps when you left silent hill a part of it went with you

A twisted souvenir or medal of honour as you think back to the days or weeks you spent traversing that place

Time there was warped and you didn’t know how long you’d actually spent in that realm

Minutes felt like hours

Days felt like years

There was only ever a grey sky with no indication of sunlight or night

Just an endless limbo filled with melancholy as you did your best to survive

the time before you entered that town felt blurred and fuzzy, as if you were trying to watch an old tape that was distorted

You think you preferred it that way though, it made everything easier to accept if you didn’t know when you had entered and when you had left

Didn’t know what you could never have anymore

Cause even if it had been a day that you were stuck there it felt as if the world had changed monumentally

Felt as if you were a foreign force or entity impeding on what used to be your home

If…you could even call it that anymore

Despite being 15 you feel older than you are

Weathered and given the forbidden knowledge of an entity of eldritch descent as it clung to you like a cancerous sore

You travel now even if you sometimes feel the call to return back to the only place that felt as if it would accept you

Upon highways and bridges you walk

Only taking rest in motels that you somehow always have the money for

Your dreams being filled with that town once more and it’s open arms of welcome if you wanted to return back to it

Though now in those dreams there are no more monsters to hurt you

Your just by your lonesome traversing the place you once loathed

It’s peaceful and quiet unlike the natural world

You don’t need or feel the urge to eat but you do so anyways out of a nostalgia of what it was like to be human

Cause at this point you know your not that anymore

You had entered human but left as something else

And for some reason you felt fine with that

Admittedly the previous night with Rebecca and Billy wasn’t the best of days

Certainly not your worst by a long run

But not quite good either

Neither is right now as you wander a second mansion infested with science experiments gone wrong that only a mother could love

Whilst Billy did the best decision and go off on his own you decided to go with Rebecca

That was now kinda biting you in the ass but what’s more annoying is that you got separated from her due to that giant asshole snake

Of all sentences you’d say it’s probably that one that’s the weirdest

To be honest this was…well laughably less scary

Horrifying still? Well yes, these were the reanimated corpses of people that were now trying to rip into your flesh

But you had dealt with worse

These creatures weren’t a personal attack on your psyche

They were lab experiments gone wrong and now set loose on this mansion as some sort of testing ground

There was no radio static as the rooms were transformed to that of a industrial hell realm

In its place was a now well lit and elegant manor with the groans and moans of these shambling creatures

Marble floors accented with splatters of blood

There’s no dirt and grime covered walls

Just pristine with the occasional gore

All things considered it’s a welcome upgrade

If you could call it that

At least there’s less of a risk of tetanus

…still a risk of possible rabies from those annoying dogs

But to be fair you don’t think either can affect you anymore on the fact that you’d be bitten several times in the last few hours and nothing has happened

No itching

Or sudden urge for flesh

Your unaffected and for once you thank whatever that that town did to you

Still doesn’t stop those rotting assholes from taking a chunk from your shoulder though

With a sigh you rummage around for a first aid spray and some bandages

Your axe is discarded to the ground, dripping blood onto the posh carpeting

For some reason supplies had been “conveniently” spread around this death trap

Whoever was behind this at least wanted it’s lab rats to have a small chance at survive for at least a few hours

(They certainly didn’t account for something like you to appear here, for better or worse)

With a small mumble of a curse you pull open a few drawers of the small room your in

Looking around frivolous expensive clutter that was stuffed into the drawers as all you come up with is some green herbs

It was better than nothing

Sighing you pick up the leaves, pressing them to the wound

It’ll help the wound for now, but not fully heal it like you had wanted

Picking back up your axe you go to exit the room

Only to fumble back a bit when the door opens

Chris Redfield

A man entered through the door, green military vest with a combat knife strapped in place and pistol held up

When his eyes connect with yours though he immediately puts the gun away

Fearlessness and determination in his eyes being extinguished momentarily to a soft and gentle kindness

There’s also a bit of relief of not being alone in this nightmare

Something you had wish you had once before

“Hey are you ok?” He knells down so he’s at a closer eye level. His movements are cautious, much like when dealing with a frightened animal.

“I think we both know the answer to that question”

He lets out a small chuckle, forced or not it seems to lighten some stress on your shoulders. “Fair point.” He says eyeing your wound before pulling out a first aid spray “mind telling me how you ended up here though?”

As he sprays your wound you explain as best you can

The train crash and monsters

Rebecca and you ending up here but separated

Leaving out any mention of Billy

Throughout it he nods, adding or asking input before pulling back and throwing away the empty can

When he’s done he helps you up gently

Treating you as if you were glass

His kindness is refreshing from the apathy and disgust usually directed at you

It makes whatever’s human left in you feel warm

you feel nice and not just a constant feeling of apathy

Following him out into the infected ridden halls he keeps you close

He doesn’t have any spare guns nor weapons so you just stick to your trust axe

Luckily he doesn’t question it much to your relief

Just accepting it as it is and focusing on the bigger picture

Whilst following him he makes sure you stay close behind him

A protective hand outstretched to keep you far enough away incase something pops out but close enough where he can still somewhat ensure your there

Through the exploration and odd twists in the hallways he tries to keep a lighthearted conversation

Whether it’s to distract you or himself is up to debate but you humour him

He asks about your parents but you keep it vague where he gets the sense you’d rather not talk about it

So instead he shifts the topic onto his own

Apparently he had a younger sister named Claire, in his words she was a “stubborn pain in the ass but I wouldn’t have it any other way “

Soon enough she’d be heading to university

And throughout the entire process he’d be there for her every step of the way if she needed him

They only had each other now

So it was his responsibility to fill the now vacant roles of their parents

In every sense of the word Chris is a protector

Someone who goes out of their way to shield others from harm no matter the cost

Even though you have a weapon he still insists on taking down the zombies

Saying that you should only get involved if completely necessary

“Your a kid, you shouldn’t have to the one fighting here”

Those words end up repeating in your head

For so long you’d felt as if you were an adult

You’d forgotten you were a kid

A once innocent 15 year old that was now seemingly stuck forever like this in some sort of psychical and metal limbo

He sees a sad look in your eyes and goes to ask but you beat him to it

“Thanks…as silly as it seems I forgot that”

A part of him cracks at that

The familiar feeling of having to grow up too quickly after his parents deaths

It seems as is this and the past night was rough for you

Plus perhaps whatever is happening with your parental situation since you don’t seem to want to talk about it

He’d pry later but for now he focuses on this mansion

On getting you home safe

With your shared teamwork you both find Rebecca hunched over a injured Richard after a whole shit ton of puzzles

The puzzles you once went through were bullshit but these once’s were plain irritating

Who builds an elaborate mansion with this many puzzles?

You weren’t even halfway through the house and you’d already spent a decent amount of time backtracking and trying to find keys

“The giant bastard get you?” You knell down beside Richard who chokes back a cough. Rebecca holds his hand, he squeezes it.

“Y-yeah” it comes out as a garbled wheeze.

“Giant bastard?” Chris asks confused, he turns to Rebecca for a clearer answer.

“Richard and us was chased by a giant snake throughout the mansion. Richard got bitten though after they got separated from us” the mention of the reptile makes Richard flinch.

With that and a bit more added on you and Chris go to find the antidote even though he persisted that you could stay with the two

He may be determinedly stubborn but your persistently patient to get your way

Something that seemed to remind him a bit of Claire

Going through the dead infested halls to get the vaccine isn’t much of a hassle

Not when time is of the essence and there was no place for being extremely cautious

Richard needed that serum

you and Chris were gonna get it to him no matter how many dead you had to get through

Though your time with the orange vested man was brief compared to Rebecca he was exceedingly kind

He promised you much like Chris you’d get home

While trying to avoid the scalely bastard that did this to him he cracked jokes to try and lighten the mood

Like Rebecca he fussed over the smallest of wounds on you and insisted on using the spare supplies of herbs on you

In every regard Richard was a good man

Someone like everyone else who didn’t deserve to be in this mansion

Someone who didn’t deserve to die

He had Bridgette his fiancé whom he spoke foundry about to get back home to

had people who were waiting on him unlike you

Entering the “safe room” as you liked to call it you scrounged through medicinal bottles

Looking and looking until finding it as you hear Chris’s gunshots nearby

He let you run ahead while he dealt with the riffraff

You grabs the serum, pocketing a spare just in case before you run out and meet back up with Chris who dealt with the last of the zombies

“Got it?” He asks stepping over the dead again corpse that was riddled with lead.

“I grabbed a spare as well” you hold up the two bottles, allowing Chris to take one while you hold onto the other.

“Good thinking” without thinking he ruffles your hair as an appreciatory gesture. For a moment he thinks he fucks up since you go still, but when looking at you he sees happiness. “Let’s hope we won’t have to use it though”

Getting back to Richard and Rebecca isn’t too much of a hassle

You and Chris release your breath when making it back with enough time for him to be sufficiently healed

He was alright

He would be ok

He’d make it back home

For once you were able to save someone

Your mothers dead face flashes in your mind now more clear than it was once before

But why couldn’t you had saved her?

Why were you too weak to stop him?

Why did you freeze when that crack echoed out or try to stab him with something

Why-

Your shaken from your thoughts when Richard places a hand on your shoulder making you jump lightly

“Hey I’m alright…no need for tears”

With some confusion you swipe a finger over your cheek and you feel the distinct wetness of tears

For many a times you’d had tears bubble up in your eyes but until now they’d never fallen

Always on the edge of your eyelids but eventually retreating back away

But now the damn had cracked allowing the waterworks to flow

For some reason it feels nice to cry

With a small sniffle you nod

You and Chris must continue on

The two of you help Rebecca move the now unconscious Richard down to the med storage room you found the vaccine in

Chris fiddles a bit with Richards Radio as the new area of the mansion becomes more and more accessible

Every now and then your gaze drifts done to it

Expecting that hellish static to come blaring to life once again

For the monsters formed of your mind to tear through the walls

The world being town away for red tinged rust to replace it all

But it doesn’t

Your still in the mansion of different horrors

Now less personal

“Do you want the radio?, you could try to get it working but- ” he suddenly says holding it out to you, seeing the device get closer you flinch back.

“no!..uh sorry I just have bad memories associated with radios.” As you say this the memories crackle in your head.

He quirks a brow at that but nods

Pocketing it away for now to fiddle with later

You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding when it was put away

Out of sight and out of mind

He seems to have noticed that

“I know you don’t know me too well but, tell me if something is bothering you. We’re already in a bad place, I don’t want to make you feel worse”

“I…it’s stupid though-“

“No it’s not. I don’t know whatever happened for you to dislike it but it makes you uncomfortable. You shouldn’t have to invalidate your pain like that”

For a moment your silent

“Besides, even if you didn’t have a reason behind it we all have irrational fears.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah!. Like I have a fear of werwolves”

“Really?”

“Yeah…might have once watched American werewolf in London as a kid and it stayed with me since” he admits with a bit of embarrassment

You giggle a bit at that

He pauses for a moment to listen to the sound and absorb seeing your face

This is the first time he’d seen you smile

Not like he can blame you for not

It’s still nice to see though

Especially since he gets the feeling you don’t do it often

In his mind it’s a real shame

Your a good kid

Fighting the damn snake was hard but rewarding

Slashing your axe down at the monster that had hurt both you but also Richard, Rebecca and now Chris

It’s hissing cries of pain

Blood staining your already red covered clothes

Something like this wasn’t uncommon to you

You had to fight a few stronger and bigger monsters in silent hill

But now it was at least something unoriginal and not an eldritch beast

With a sigh you feel the poison from its fangs that bit into you several times wash away

Your body was already at work doing whatever it did to slowly heal you

Chris meanwhile was going through the effort of looting the rest of the room

Getting spare ammo and herbs

Along with a mask

You didn’t like the look of the object, it was cult like

…you didn’t exactly like cults

But for now it was best to suck it up especially since it was likely for yet another unnecessary puzzle

Chris lingers by the door and you get off the dead snakes body

Not before giving it one last good kick to the head for an extra fuck you

Exiting the room you see Chris stumble slightly on the way down the stairs

Immediately you go to help him

“Did it bite you?”

“Y-yeah..,think it got me. Administer it to yourself first, you got bitt as well”

Before you can give a response he falls

Almost clattering to the floor if not for your support as you helped him slump against the wall

You pull out the serum, calling out for Rebecca

Distantly you hear hurried footsteps

Your breath goes ragged, you didn’t have a needle to administer the antidote

He could die

And you couldn’t do anything to stop it

Why?

Why does this keep happening to you?

What did you do to have the people you care for die with nothing you can do?!

Rebecca rushes in, eyes widening at the sight of the slumped over Chris and the look in your eyes

It’s just pure grief

Even after she administers it and he begins to stir your still stricken with that look

Her words are not responded to

Your mind is distant

Admittedly she didn’t know much about whatever had happened to you even before the mansion

But she does know your a deeply scarred kid

Someone who had seen horrors before the leach infested train, the first mansion and now a second one

But another thing she knows is that something happened to you that made you��different

You spoke broadly of it

A place where’re you entered and came out not the same

On the train she once tried to bandage your wounds with Billy after a Rebar had impaled you in the side when the train crashed

A wound like that with only a few spare herbs and a can of first aid spray should have resulted in death

But despite that you healed

The wound slowly going away until there was now nothing in its wake

Both eventually accepted it as something no one will have an answer to

Still she insisted you use the herbs to help with the process

Billy did as well, making you promise to look after yourself before leaving

Gently she tries to wake you up from the daze of your mind

Eventually it works but you still keep a look of worry in your eyes as you glance at Chris who begins to properly awaken

Chris noticed after this that your relatively more distant than you were before

Your more silent than before

Just give short responses as you avoid looking at him as if your eyes would scorch him

When he does see your eyes though he sees fear

Not towards him per say but more so at what could happen to him

That getting closer would lead to more harm if he got hurt once more

It’s touching in some sense but worrying

Really worrying

He remembers that same mindset when his parents died and he had to be the main caregiver for Claire

For a long while he almost feel into that thought but had caught himself

It wasn’t healthy

But he can’t just up and tell you to stop because that likely won’t fix anything

So for now he does his best

Entering out the mansion into its garden

An old beaten path leading the way as cicadas chirp off in the brush

The sounds of nature filling the area along with

Gravel being crunched under both yours and his boots

Just as you both walk downhill the radio he’d almost forgotten he had crackles on

Immediately his hand goes to it

The words are chopped up but he’s able to make out a warning

“Stay out the woods outside the mansion”

He casts a glance back to the looming building and then at you

You look at the radio once more and he puts it away

After a second you snap out of it and linger behind him once more

Axe hugged to your chest

Both stained with blood and gore

He’d maybe have to try and find something for you to change into

A cold breeze goes by

Maybe a coat as well if it keeps to this temperature

Speaking of which

“Are you cold?.” He asks looking at the statues of two Cerberus. From the looks of them their in the wrong directions. Knowing this place there would be two levers or something to put them in place…which makes him think of those two weather vanes

You shake your head no despite it being untrue. You were always cold, a chilling temperature always racking your body as if you were one of the corpses littering this place. “I’m fine”

He nods but doesn’t seem to believe your words

You both go back uphill to the weather vanes and press down secret buttons to stop them in certain directions

Distantly you hear the moving of stone

After some pressing there’s a click that emanates and the gates being seemingly opened

The two of you head deeper into the madness

Through the cabin madness and groaning screams you carry on

A creature much more akin to that of silent hill

Several faces stitched together as a mask on its face

Cuffed hands that are elongated to a unnatural extent

Groaning screams that sounded more human-like than that of the zombies you cut down

For the first time tonight your happy to enter back into the mansion of all things

At least Chris gave you a magnum in all this mess

One that would be saved for better occasions than shooting down giant spiders and weird giant reptiles

Surprise surprise this place had a lab as its basement, absolutely wonderful

At least there wasn’t a cult involved or else your bingo chart would be full by now

Crates splash in a small pool of water and bob under Chris’s footsteps

He goes across first

They shift a bit and he jumps to the solid ground across

You go to step on the first crate

He holds his hand out for you and with a little hesitance you grab it

Your not sure of the last time you’d been given affection like this

It feels nice though

You feel…safe and not alone anymore

“Your really cold. You should have told me”

“I…I’m always cold”

He nods with a bit of confusion but puts his questions away for later

You cross the gap but he still holds your hand

The warmth of his gentle touch is absorbed by your eternal cold

But then he pulls away

A part of you feels saddened but you accept it

But then he slips something over your hands

His gloves are a bit big on you but he adjusts them

Military grade material fitting snugly around your hands that have a forever bitter cold

“I know their fingerless but hopefully that helps a bit.”

You feel to stunned to say anything so you default back to a nod and grab his hand once again

You give a gentle squeeze as a thank you

With a small smile he repeats the action back

“I know your scared of me getting hurt, but have some hope in me. We’ve come this far, and anything that they throw at us is going down”

Like before you nod again

Cold water soaks you up to your armpits as Richard grasps the metal fencing of this aquatic tank area

The water is deep and murky

Filled with an unknown force that makes its presence known to your mind

Something lurks in these waters

Hungry…no, STARVED

Is the best way to describe the creeping feeling

The waters shifts, it’s coming

“Chris get back!”

Before Richard can do it your pull Chris back as that oncoming threat surfaced

A giant shark, one that narrowly misses Chris as it bites at the metal before going back into the depths

Waiting for the next time to strike

To finally feast once more

“Shit go!” It comes out as a panicked cry, his blood soaked and bandages arm pointing to the door you and Chris entered through.

“We’ll deal with it!. Get to safety Richard!”

“Are you?-“

“Go! Your still injured! Don’t throw your life away, you have someone waiting for you back home!” He flinches a bit that, clear hesitation to leave on his mind before he begrudgingly does so.

Exiting he shoots one last look over his shoulder at the two of you

Chris already leading the way as quick as he can through the water with you behind

Smaller sharks trying to get a nip at you but deterred by a few swings of your axe

The bigger one though lurks, waiting

Cold and calculating dead eyes

Much like your own in some sense

Heading through double doors you give a sigh of relief

You’d preferred not to be fish food

Soaking wet you descended down a ladder with Chris not far behind

He needed a second to ensure the herbs were still ok

To his luck they were

“I think you might’ve saved Richard back there”

“What do you mean?”

“Well…” he momentarily pauses thinking of the right words “Richard has a habit of…self sacrifice. It has something to do with his sister dying, I’m not sure of the specifics but he’s felt guilty that he could’ve done more to save her…so he tends to do reckless stuff to save others. Him pushing me out the way would have probably killed him, put him in my place instead.”

That….that can’t be?

You’ve never been able to save someone

Not your mother was she gasped out for help against your father

Not any of the others lost in silent hill, succumbing to the monsters of their own minds

Not yourself from what that place did to you

You couldn’t have…could you?

Had you finally saved someone?

After all this time of thinking you were incapable of helping others you had done it

Now thinking back you had saved him before with the help of Chris…you also saved Chris

Maybe you just didn’t realize it until someone else saying it

Your chest feels warm despite the now cold dripping clothes

Without thinking you hug Chris, he’s a bit surprised buts hugs back

He has a feeling your crying but says nothing except that “it’s alright, you saved him”

It makes you cry harder but in a good way

In the sense that he gets you’d been needing to hear those words for a long time

And now they finally entered your ears

“I don’t think I’ll ever look at plants the same way” it comes out as a grumble as Chris applies a mixture of green and red herb solution to his wounds. Those vines were much more sharp than they appeared…this would definitely bruise later on.

“At least salads will be more appealing now” that comments gets a chuckle from him and a “yeah, that’s for sure” as the sound of Rebecca leaving to find Richard echoes down creaky wooden halls.

The last few hours had felt like days and at this point you were wondering if this place was some sort of other reality like Silent hill

It would explain the seemingly dragging passage of time as the mansion got more and more confusing

But you knew at heart this place was just a normal mansion

…er well maybe not normal but it was still a standard building

Not a different plane of reality

You think you’d be able to detect that somehow

With a swat of your hand you kill a nearby stray mutant bee that hand died

With a groan you wipe away the aftermath on your already disgusting and stained shirt

Your gonna definitely burn your clothes after all of this. Not only for sanitary reasons but also cause if possible spreading of the infection

It was better not to risk anything

Especially since no amount of bleach would be able to wash this shit off

Your on guard when a nearby door opens

As is Chris who pushes you behind him

But then someone exits through in similar clothes to Chris

“Wesker!” Relief visibly floods Chris but your still a bit on guard. The sunglasses wearing blond feels odd to you, his eyes stare at you through his sunglasses but you know the look he’s giving you. It’s something akin to a predator looking at prey.

“Chris” after saying this his gaze focusses down on you “and who’s this?”. You stay beside Chris, clutching his hand tightly as he stays relatively oblivious. Despite asking who you were you get the feeling he already knows.

Chris looks down at you with a small smile, “their a survivor of the train bravo was sent to investigate, they came here with Rebecca.”. Wesker nods, a grin akin to that of a wolf in sheep’s clothing appearing. He was definitely bad news

The snake showed up again apparently not actually dead much to your annoyance

And with its arrival came weird reptilian monsters that almost killed Rebecca and Richard

Great…absolutely stunning

What’s even more “great” is that your now with Chris in a dingy mine area

One with guess what? Another lab!

This time without sharks

You swear to whatever god is out there that if Mr.”I wear my sunglasses at night” is behind this then your giving him a good and hardy hello from your axe

With a groan you step I’ve r the corpse of some weird new insect monster

It’s splattered guts from Chris’s shotgun now decorating the already dingy walls

How fitting

It twitches despite being dead giving some friendly flashbacks to silent hill once more

This place was still better than there but only by a small margin

One that had begun shrinking as the night went onwards and this place really began to get on your nerves

Even Chris seemed done by this point

Wanting desperately for the night to come to a close

“What do you want to do the minute we get out of here?”

“I’m gonna have the hottest longest bath and then have fast food”

“Sounds like a good plan.”

“I’m not sharing my food, not even with you”

He chuckles a bit at that, it’s tired but still happy

“Fair”

Chris looks around the room once more for items you turn to look at the secret hidden camera

You can’t see where exactly it is but you know when your staring in its direction

Your eyes glare up at it

Unbeknownst to you the man watching sees misty white eyes through the lens of the screen

And then the feed cuts out with a glitch

Your in-between both Rebecca and Chris as the three of you go down an elevator

It creaks occasionally making both Rebecca and Chris tighten their hold a bit

It’s…nice

You feel cared for

Even though Rebecca knows you seemingly can’t die she still worried

And Chris does as well but believing your still mortal

Your axe is stored away along with the magnum but despite that your safe

Your nerves that would have never allowed that before are now tucked away in the deepest depths of your mind

For now your safe with them

It only goes away though once the elevator stops and opens

A dingy green lit hallways of tiles leading the pathway do you feel that urge

Steam escapes from nearby pipes giving a misty look

It makes you squeeze their hands

They squeeze back before Rebecca lets go

Chris tightens his grip while leading to a door

You pull out your axe

The door goes up, mechanical sounds releasing as it does so

There in this room is a lab, one with odd human-like entities in test tubes

A beating heart exposed fork their chests

Just like the one you and Rebecca fought the day prior

It beats gently as Wesker types away at a nearby computer

Back turned to everyone

Distantly on the monitor you see camera footage

The others are in real time but one screen focuses in on you

White eyes staring directly up towards the screen

Intensity that spoke volumes

What looked to be small wisps of fog escaping your lips

So you were right about feeling watched this whole time

And the culprit seems to have a knowing smile on his face once turning around to see your narrowed eyes

“Wesker!” It’s said in a tone of disbelief . You can’t blame Chris, this was his captain, the man who was in charge of the team he now used as lab rats.

“So you’ve come” he pauses for a moment, continuing to type of his keyboard “Chris you make me proud. But of course you are one of my men.”

“Thanks” it comes out as a scoff as you tighter the hold on your axe

Wesker pulls out his gun, pointing it at you all. “Since when Wesker” Chris hides his anger but you feel it radiating from him.

“I’m afraid I don’t know what your talking about”

“You’ve been with umbrella from the beginning haven’t you?”

“Correct” he moves closer, holding the gun up towards Chris “S.T.A.R.S were umbrellas— no, rather, my little piggies. The tyrant virus leaked polluting this whole place. And unfortunately I had to give up my lovely members of S.T.A.R.S. In the process though I’ve seemed to have found something more valuable” his gaze goes down to you

Chris pulls you to hide more behind him, an accusatory finger pointed at Wesker as he says in pure anger “you killed them with your own dirty hands! You son of a Bitch!”

“No…”

“Oh yes dear” he says it in a mocking tone before adding “just like this” as he turns his gun. Everything feels as if it’s going in slow motion, he points it at Rebecca who’s only a foot or two away from you. Without thinking you move, body shielding her own from the gunshot.

Burning pain echoes through your chest as Rebecca catches you

Chris yells but it’s stopped once more by Weskers cool and calm voice

Fuck this hurt

It hurt like absolute hell

Like that rebar that was impailed in your side

But then like usual the blood stops pouring out the wound

And your able to get up with the help of Rebecca who holds you

Chris looks at you with a mix of shock, confusion and relief

“How?-“

“That’s what I intended to find out as well.”

“Long story Chris…should probably focus on the crazy asshole”

A few moments after this with a click of a button the creature in one of the tubes is released

Heart pulsating even more as the water drains

It’s face that only a mother could love coming to life

“The ultimate life-form— Tyrant”

Staring at the monstrosity Chris laughs

“Wesker you’ve become senile”

“Chris, you’ll never understand. It’s magnificent” while saying this he raises his arms, looking up at the “glory” of his creation

“Sure…definitely magnificent” you cough out to Rebecca who still holds you. Sarcasm dripping from your voice like the splatters of your blood on the ground

Suddenly the tyrant moves

The glass of its tube breaks and it’s giant claw arm shoots through Wesker as if he were butter

He lets out a dying gasp as his blood falls to the ground

Then he’s Thrown away, discard by his ultimate being as it focuses its attention on Chris

With a groan you pull out the magnum, there were a good amount of bullets from you stocking up and waiting for a moment like this

So despite the pain your in you begin shooting

The knock back making you cough up more blood and pain spreads through your chest

Rebecca urged you to stop but you tell her to go find Richard and whoever else is left alive

You had a feeling this place would end up destroyed soon

Chris keeps shooting it down with his shotgun as you load magnum loads into its chest

Specifically aiming at it’s still beating heart that you desperately wanted to ripe out

God just die already

You aim and shoot once again in time with Chris at its chest

It falls down onto its knees and then face first on the floor

Faintly though you still hear it’s heart

But for now it seems incapacitated

With a sigh you shakily get up, Chris adding your side and helping you walk correctly

Your still healing and the exhaustion from tonight isn’t helping speed up the process

“Are you alright? Your wound it-“

“Less talking and more walking. Like I said, I’ll explain later”

He nods, helping you through the door and onto the elevator

“We should probably blow this place up”

“Why’s that?”

“This place is contaminated. They probably have more of the virus Wesker was talking about. If this got out to the public…then”

“Got it. The show must go on”

It seems the act is coming to a close

All that’s left is the finally

The self destruction message rings out in a woman’s voice on the PA system

Rebecca and Richard went to set it off

But now all that’s left was to get out of here and find someone named Jill

It wasn’t too much looking

It was pretty unsurprising this place had essentially a jail cell attached to it

The brunette looks a bit frazzled to see Chris but embraces him in a hug as the ringing of the PA continue

She tries to say something about Wesker but Chris replies that he knows

His tone is filled with betrayal and a bit of sadness

She nods, turning to the door to see you peeking in

“Who-“

“No time, this place is gonna blow any minute. Questions later”

She nods

Chris sets off some flairs as You, Jill, Richard, Rebecca and him wait with baited breath

Daylight is beginning to peak out from over the horizon

Day is near

The nightmare is almost over

….keyword almost

The tyrant didn’t die

And looks mighty angry for more lead to be pumped into its body

It knocks Jill aside and heads for Rebecca

Neither you, Chris nor Richard will let that happen though

There aren’t many magnum bullets left, the monster is a sponge for them

But nether the less you kept shooting

Keep persevering

Keep surviving

In the distance you hear the loud sound of a helicopter

Help was here

“Chris! Use it! Kill it! whatever it is!” The man in the Helicopter hovering above yells as a rocket launcher clatters to the ground

Chris nor Richard can go for it as the tyrant is in his way

But you can

You dive towards the weapon picking it up

It’s heavy but you don’t give up

“Chris!”

He looks to you

With as much might as you can you slide the weapon towards him with a a mighty kick

All the power left in you being used to get it over to him

Richard distracts it long enough for him to pick up

And then

Bam

The monster explodes into several chunks of flesh and fire

Blood splattering on you as the helicopter lands not long afterwards

Rebecca and Chris help you on

Jill and Richard follow in afterwards

It’s over

In the end you rest against both Jill and Chris

The two adults giving you their own types of comfort

in the case of Chris it’s him gently holding your hand, rubbing circles with his thumb as a reminder that he’s there

That your not alone in this

With Jill it’s promising you that your somewhere safe

That you can stay with her for security if you so need it since Chris has a plan of hunting down umbrella

Though you had just met her,Jill gives you a sense of comfort you had longed for

In your mind you consider the offer. For so long you’d been alone, drifting from place to place without aim

You had made it out that mist covered town but your parents weren’t so lucky

But perhaps that was for the best when their sins were brought to light

As of now though you just think over the offer

For now the nightmare was over

You had the feeling though that a new one would eventually take its place

Life has a funny way of doing that to you

But right now…there was a moment of calm you basked in

“So…I’d said I’d explain what happened to me”

“You don’t have to right now”

“Aren’t you tired?”

“I’m fine. Fine enough to start explaining anyways.” For a moment you think of how to start telling them all. It’s hard to explain let alone believe…but after tonight you’re willing to bet they would take your word.

“In my restless dreams I still see that town…silent hill”

[platonic-pals-punchout]

Round 1 part 1: Lego Monkie Kid (multi-media) / Ace Attorney (video game series & anime)

Qi Xiaotian "MK" & Long Xiaojiao "Mei":

1. Mei and MK are two kick ass heroes who have been best friends for years. They freely express their (platonic) love for each other a lot, they hang out all the time, they support each other in any way they can, they fight as a unit. They can take on anything together, whether it's their favorite arcade fighting game, or a demon show is determined to erase their world. 2. they're just so fucking good man, Mei gets basically a doomsday magic sealed into her body and nearly gets torn to shreds over it and MK braves the magical world-burning fire to hug her and calm her down and it instantly does just that enough to get some level of control over the the doomsday magic. also they're chaotic besties, not a single braincell between them, just lots of schenanigans.

Maya Fey & Phoenix Wright:

1. Quite frankly I don't think they will win. They are constantly being tormented and experiencing the horrors and this poll would be no different. 2. they literally cannot die no matter what hell canon puts them through. fall off that bridge n cliff to a deathly boy! get kidnapped like 4 times girl! when she gets kidnapped like the first time, they had to make a new sprite for Phoenix coz he didn't look devasted and depressed enough. Power of friendship though! and she is OKI! :) 3. The most iconic attorney and assistant pair in the series. Phoenix canonically ran onto a burning bridge to try to save Maya when she was in danger. His call with her got cut off once and he left the country to go make sure she was safe. She's been kidnapped twice to be used as leverage against him and both times she was more worried about him than herself. She once jumped in front of a taser to try to protect him. He's also defended her from murder accusations like four times. Their relationship defines the original game trilogy even more than the Wright-Edgeworth relationship does. Other Ace Attorney games wish they could replicate this dynamic. They got added to a fighting game as a single unit where they work together to fight. They both think they're the reasonable one in this friendship, despite neither of them actually deserving that title.

[topknotstrunk]

Review Everything 31 - Good Omens Season 1

Post Review Addition: I basically live tweeted my way through this. All my reviews are meant to be non-serious and for my own enjoyment, but this one is particularly self indulgent, so it may be confusing to read. I’d say sorry, but really, I wrote the review for myself to enjoy so there’s nothing to apologize for. I had put off watching Good Omens because of associations. When I first started dating my ex we were doing that thing where you share all your favorite media with each other. He asked me if I was familiar with @neil-gaiman or terry Pratchett and, thinking about Maturin and Hindu mythology I answered, no, not really. I knew what The Sandman comics were, had seen the movie Coraline, and knew a little bit about Disc World but most of my novel reading had been of either the Horror or YA variety and most the two non-American authors I have read were She Who Shall Not Be Named and Diana Wynne Jones. So we decided to do a sort of trade where we’d go back and fourth with audio books of our favorite books. He wanted his first book to be Good Omens, so that’s what we listened to.

It would be the first of a series of things he showed me that I didn’t really “get”. Like, I could see the appeal they would hold for other folks but they just didn’t click with me. With Good Omens in particular,  I have some religious trauma related to the “end times” that made the book hop back and forth in tone from “barely interesting chapters about the kid” to “interesting but often upsetting chapters about the angel and demon”. Admittedly the experience of listening to the audiobook was so unpleasant that I don’t really remember much about the novel outside of the angel and demon characters. I even remember saying to my ex, “This kind of seems like a romance between these two.” And him going, “What? No.”

Those two characters were intriguing enough that I have always kind of wanted to give the story a second shot in another form, particularly after reading and falling in love with Sandman just this year [first the show, then the comic], where I can now enjoy the creator’s work with the baggage of a relationship I didn’t want to end weighing less heavily on me nearly a year out from being dumped. I figured I’d get around to the Good Omens show eventually and have had it on my watch list, not really thinking about it except when very adorable shipping art comes across my dash.

Then the Good Omens season 2 trailer dropped Today. And that little seed of “I think these two men with wings want to kiss each other” is actually a thing in at least the second season. And I like experiencing fandom events along with the rest of the fandom so... I started season 1 Today. ____________________________________________________ Episode 1:

And, just like with the Sandman show, I fell in love about a minute in. The first time Aziraphale and Crowley interact I felt that little part of my brain that loves to watch two characters discover that they might want to get around to kissing eventually lit up. The show is immediately more fun than my experience of the book, it still made me a tiny bit anxious but not the way that the audio book did where I had at least one anxiety attack while listening to it.

A combo of me being in a better place with my religious and mental health journeys now than I was then and the show being just so damn charming is to thank for that, methinks.

David Tennant makes an excellent reluctant bad guy. Michael Sheen makes a wonderful prissy and affectionate lil’ man.

CG starts off a little rough with the snake and many of the demon scenes are so dark that it’s difficult for me to tell what’s going on, but other than that the visuals are all nice. The actually pretty scary hell hound turning into an adorable little ratter dog was both cute and funny.

A good start to what I hope will be a good series. : )

_________________________________________________

Episode 2:

The “boring kid chapters” I barely remember are better in the show. Not chomping at the bit to get to the angel and demon sections makes the whole story much more enjoyable.

Aziraphale is so dang charming!

_________________________________________________

Episode 3: It’s neat that they picked someone of such mixed heritage to play Jesus [and someone who’s played the part more than once, I wonder what the story is there] and otherwise it was fun to see this version of the events of the Bible. It was also VERY fun to watch the budding friendship between Aziraphale and Crowly.

_________________________________________________

Episode 4:

Everyone but Aziraphale and Crowly can see how much they love each other.

Oh boy are the scenes with Adam getting tense. Him letting his friends continue to talk while controlling the rest of his so far small-ish bubble of reality is suitably spooky for a show that’s doing a great job of balancing the heavy stuff with the silly stuff. The end of the world is the perfect time for smooching, too, good on the witch and witch hunter descendants.

Also I gotta do some research some time on Metatron. He’s not in the Bible iirc, but he does keep showing up in modern media as this “I’m not God, but I’m just as good as and God is fine and listening and appointed me to this position because I am a good guy, I promise.” figure.

Hearing Aziraphale say the fuck word made my day.

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Episode 5:

“Somebody killed my best friend!” Well that was a tonal swing. So much for having my day made. XD

Somebody to love coming on reminds me that this show has a pretty great soundtrack. All the pop songs that have some on are spot on to what’s happening in the scene and. Pop songs can really make or break a scene, pump up the emotions of what’s going on or totally distract you from what’s happening and pull you out of it. So far the show’s done a great job of the former.

I think trading out one of the horsemen for pollution makes a lot of sense. I don’t know if you’d call that world building, when you’re creating a world based pretty heavily on existing fiction. Interpretation? Anyway, I think it’s smart. Also swapping out their horses for motorcycles is just plain fun. Also also, I’m loving the scene with the Psychic. Her loosing her cool and saying “It’s a real one” had me chuckling. I’m well acquainted with psychics of her type, since that was a special interest of mine when I was younger, but I have a soft spot for the “has some real powers but has to be a charlatan to make it in the modern world” trope.

The CG in the scenes with the kids is a little rough. Well, a lot of the CG has turned out to be a little rough. Though these kids do have balls of steel, no matter how goofy some of the special effects look. _________________________________________________ Episode 6: How come all the other demons are Humanoids that are either sexy or gross but there’s one non-Humanoid cute one? XD I mean, maybe Aziraphale meant what he said or maybe it was a slip of the tongue, eh? Okay I take it back, the kids are brave but Pepper has balls of steel. Since I read the book, and also because it was set up well, I should have seen the kids coming to defeat the four horsemen with Aziraphale’s sword but it somehow managed to still be a nice surprise. Newton nuking the computers I did see coming and got a nice cackle out of.

You can’t create a being who can decide what reality is and isn’t and then tell him what the rules are. Y’all handed the Great Plan over to him the second he was born. UGH the band’s music warping as our happy ending unwinds was so good! Oh the little cute demon ins there to get thrown in the Holy water, poor lad. Good for Mr. S, hopefully he becomes a slightly less shity person. Post show notes: The show was fun! How fondly I remember this season and if my love for it will hang in there is gonna hinge on if they actually let the Angel and Demon be gay for each other in season 2, I fear. Other than that I had a great time with it, which I didn’t expect for the reasons mentioned in the beginning of this review. It has been just long enough that I forgot enough of the details of the book to be surprised either by plot points I had forgotten or ones that were changed [not sure which]. Really looking forward to season two. Speaking of which, I wish the Tumblr fandom would cool it a little and actually use hashtags on their posts so I could stop getting little mini spoilers for season 2. I feel like, unlike with season 1 where I got to watch it at my leisure, now that it’s August 2nd I have no choice but to binge season 2 so I can go back to enjoying my favorite website and not have this show spoiled for me. In Summary: Very good! Either by personal life circumstances for me or just change of media. an upgrade from the book. The stuff with the witch hunter and psychic where where the story dragged the most for me, outside of the final séance, and they seemed to have a cute little ending, so I hope that thread gets dropped for season 2. Also, hope the show isn’t queer baiting me! Those concerns I had a lovely time overall and am looking forward to more of most of these characters in season 2. Overall: 7/10

[wuxiaphoenix]

A Musing on History and Explanations

Part of the trick of pulling off Colors of Another Sky is going to be making sure I have enough explanations folded in that people who haven’t dove into history like a ferret into a snowbank have a fair idea what’s going on.

Let me explain by example. See, the other night the bunnies gave me a Silly. For much later in the series, post re-contact with modern earth. At some point Lee Cheong has to show up to bail Jason out. Because he got in a fight. (No, he didn’t start it... definitely finished it....)

Picture our two heroes as the bunnies showed them to me. Jason sitting on the jail cot, possibly in informal trousers and shirt with a jacket thrown on over the tears, bemused and more than a little disheveled. While Lee Cheong is standing on the other side of the bars, full formal robes, gat on, face framed by the jeweled beads of the string and set in the Resigned and Disappointed expression of a commander who’s definitely had to bail his more troublesome men out before, but never expected this one to be A Problem.

(It’s always the quiet ones, no?)

Probably there is either a deputy or MP behind Lee. Poor guy.

Lee Cheong: “What. Happened.”

Jason: “Eh, they were using karate or something... it’s like they thought I was going to stand there and let them hit me.”

Lee Cheong (now a bit bemused): “Karate?”

Jason (pauses a moment, obviously summing up and condensing things in his head to get the important info across): “Okinawan barehanded fighting style.”

Long pause. During which Lee Cheong’s expression goes from disappointed, to shock, to stunned, incredulous horror that anyone could be that stupid.

Lee Cheong: “The Japanese conquered Okinawa.”

Jason: “I know that and you know that, but kids these days?” Sighs. “See, this is why I hate that people don’t study history....”

Aaand now the important history bits behind why Lee Cheong’s impression of local young male stupidity has now dropped to an all-time low.

In our timeline the Japanese conquered Okinawa in 1609. (In this one it may have been a bit more dicey and the timing might be off, but they still did it.) As in, a bit over a decade after they got tossed out of Korea; lock, stock, and katanas. In both cases, some of that fighting was hand-to-hand. Okinawan karate did not save the invaded people. Korean fighting did.

(Yes, plenty of other factors involved. Still.)

Totally leave out the fact that said young guys had the lack of judgment to attack a now-experienced Caller. Part of good martial arts training is supposed to be not just how to beat people up, but the history of your fighting style, what it’s good for, and what it has problems with. Even if Jason was a completely regular guy who’d just been taught weaponless fighting, he comes from a style the local toughs have never run into before. While he, at least, knows some of the basics of what karate is and how people fight with it. This was a bad idea.

...The bunnies are having fun. I just have to figure out how to clean up after them so everyone else gets the giggles, too.

[incorrect-ikevamp-quotes]

i saw your post about Charles and what his personality past and part in the story line so i was wondering if u could do the same for vlad? :)

Ah, well, I can at least let you know what I’ve seen so far? I haven’t delved too far into Vlad, and some of his general impressions can be confusing, so I’ll do my best to make it sensible and unbiased! Here you go lovely <33333

Fair warning, there will be mentions of a lot of JPN app content since Vlad and his boys aren’t around much in the ENG app yet.

My general sense of Vlad is basically discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha.

What I mean by this is to say–according to what I’ve read so far–his clan/family were murdered by vampire hunters in cold blood when he was just a young boy. Presumably as a result of that traumatic event, he harbors a sizable enmity towards humanity and kind of lashes out on them in weirdly specific moments of violence. Another aspect of his motivation is something that’s mentioned within Comte’s route; which is that Vlad went through the timespace door on his own one day and allegedly saw a devastated future, where nothing remains of life on earth more or less.

I guess the reason I find him to be so perplexing is that he speaks about his actions in terms of efficiency, while most of the things he does just feel like unhappy outbursts (v often a product of unresolved trauma symptoms, I’d wager.) I also say this because he appears to have no larger pattern to his fury beyond the original event of his loss. Most of the human beings he attacks aren’t much of a threat to him and hurting them really doesn’t bring him any dividends beyond revenge.

For instance, he insists his disdain for humanity and insistence on controlling them is for the sake of ensuring they do not destroy the future–the horrifying wasteland he witnessed when he traveled through the timespace door. However, I’m not really sure how his current movements really speak to that goal? I mean sure, maybe he’s relying on Faust to create an immortal human so that humans will be forced to care because it will be their future too, but he doesn’t allow Faust to draw his pureblood blood for experimenting. (One can most certainly argue this was more about a lack of trust, and perhaps for plenty reason: Faust is vindictive enough to try to turn the tables and exert control over Vlad, or act on his own whims with his findings.) But if that’s the solution he’s waiting on, turning the rivals of the men in the mansion doesn’t really bring him any closer to that vision either? I mean, what good does it do to bring back Gilles de Rais–a prominent French serial killer? How would unleashing him on the populace help humanity “realize the error of it’s short-sighted and wasteful ways” and move to a brighter future?

Can’t help it, I ask these questions as I read.

In Comte’s main story, Comte hammers home that Vlad is not somebody to be taken lightly. One day when MC goes out to buy flowers, Vlad poses as a human florist to sell them to her–which is how Comte finds out he’s in France, and that he’s made contact with MC. When prompted, Comte describes him in a very particular way; and I think people really overlook this when they talk about their relationship. He says that Vlad is frighteningly pure in terms of the way he thinks and acts. The way I understood his description (given what I’ve seen of Vlad) is that Comte really does mean it point blank: Vlad is very simple in terms of why and how he does things. The issue with this is that nuance and context are lost on Vlad as well–and that’s where the problems start to flood in. Vlad is angry at humanity for what they’ve done to him. Baseline? That’s fair, they killed his damn family. However, Vlad thinks that by extension he has the right to decimate the general public and attack people completely uninvolved in his hurt.

And that isn’t right either–it’s ignoring so many factors here. He’s ignoring how much vampires use and toy with humans as pawns, it’s ignoring the massive power imbalance between him and his victims (this really isn’t a case of self-defense most of the time, nobody but Comte/Leo is a sizable threat to him), and he’s ignoring whether or not a person even did anything to deserve his retributive violence. While murder is never okay, it is perhaps more understandable when we see Jeanne’s frenzied and violent belligerence in response to a man who murders a boy’s mother for the sake of his own amusement/convenience. Vlad literally sees almost every single one of the rivals he created begin to heal/improve and murders them in cold blood because they are no longer of any use to him. That’s uh……..that’s a little messed, not gonna lie to you chief.

While part of me understands the efficiency here–he doesn’t want to leave any traces of his involvement, he doesn’t want any loose ends–it’s also just kind of foolish and cruel ultimately. From my understanding of the narrative, all the people he turned had some visible sign that indicated their origin to Comte. So even if he claims it was for the sake of concealment, it was more likely about his personal convenience. Which…..also yikes.

[Comte clearly does not trust Vlad to be reasonable, and I think there’s plenty of good reason enumerated above, but I actually don’t sense quite so much hatred? I think he’s just given up on the idea of Vlad growing up, even if he doesn’t like giving up on people. And considering Vlad’s behavior, I think it’s overkill to say that Comte just abandons him because he doesn’t care lmao. Even when Comte expresses real anger at the end of his own route, it was more because Vlad was fine with endangering MC’s life just to get back at him. I think Comte’s unhappiness with Vlad has more to do with Vlad’s treatment of human life as meaningless and worthless. It’s fascinating but also kind of sad? Vlad’s traumatic experience results in behavior that is a direct exacerbation of Comte’s trauma, and as such--no matter their potentially fond history--they can’t stomach each other.]

In Comte’s route, Vlad also has Shakespeare abduct MC and take her to the cathedral. Later on in the castle, we see an immediate display of Vlad’s shocking powers: he has the ability to manipulate people’s desires/thoughts. I’m not exactly sure how this works, but he is able to give MC visions of the mansion and Comte coming on to her–which shocks her into realizing it’s all just a dream. It’s not reality; it’s all manufactured by Vlad.

After that...weird introductory note...Vlad gives MC the rundown on his life together with Comte, which as always is subject to a question of bias. My assumption is that he did not lie, only because he was trying to convince MC that he was “right.” Furthermore, he does not omit the most damning evidence of his erroneous judgement, which suggests a continued inability for him to see where he went wrong.

We get a series of three flashbacks. The first is them as young kids. I don’t know if Vlad had already experienced the horrors of his family being destroyed, but this particular flashback focuses on Comte. His parents, in an effort to teach him that vampires and humans have no ability to co-exist, send away all of his teachers/mentors/nannies/the servants--pretty much everyone and anyone he was closely bonded to. Think about it this way: we can see that Comte is very sociable and affectionate by nature. He was living in a house full of people, all of whom cared about him and looked after him in their own way. Now the house is entirely empty. Naturally Comte is very very upset, and Vlad appears to try to cheer him up with little success. 

[When I look back on this scene I don’t think I initially registered the sheer dissonance of Vlad’s reaction, versus Comte’s catatonic misery. There was a very solemn feeling to that memory, and the correct choice in terms of extending comfort is to hold his hand believe it or not. There is a sense that he feels very alone. When young boy Vlad enters one can argue that it was the proper thing to do; he was trying to cheer up his playmate and friend. But at the same time, I think I need to double check. Because I’m beginning to wonder if I was wrong. What if Vlad was happy to see someone as alone as him, and that joy is accordingly dissonant for that reason? He can’t see what Comte needs or how he’s hurting because he’s so glad he isn’t alone anymore in a way.]

The second flashback is the war nurse scene that I have spoken at length about. The important thing to focus on here is Vlad’s surprise that Comte would opt out of turning her out of respect for her wishes. The way Vlad frames the situation is starkly different from Comte’s. Comte sees himself as an outsider, somebody who invaded her life as a result of the timespace door and therefore has no right to suddenly change the course of her fate. He had no idea if she even wanted to live (considering the horrors she’d have to cope with and remember) or leave that time period at all, for that matter (considering the only thing keeping her going was helping the wounded/victims). Comte really was listening to everything she had to say, and he was taking her concerns and motivations seriously. 

Vlad simply says: if you want her, take her. It’s as simple as that for him. And in one way that’s not entirely wrong--assuming Comte would have every intention of looking after her and actually cares a lot about her. But what’s being ignored here is her agency and the fact that they really don’t know each other that well? Something like that could begin and be rocky, if it doesn’t end in complete disaster. Worse, I get the feeling Vlad is perfectly fine with the notion of turning her and if things don’t work out, just kill her or get rid of her. Again, the simplistic thinking comes into play here: it ultimately comes down to Vlad being self-centered. He’s thinking only in terms of satisfying his needs, he doesn’t seem to have any concept of a larger pair or group feeling. There’s an inability to bend/be flexible for the sake of maintaining a greater harmonious feeling. 

[For the record, I don’t think this makes him irredeemable? Only that it makes it very hard to live with him or love him, probably. There’s an inability to live at a joint pace? It’s always answering to what he wants without room for anything else most of the time, which to me is not living and it’s not love ;;;;]

Following their escape back to their own time, Vlad explains how he wants to use the door to turn geniuses and control humanity. He eventually wants to create a surveillance state, which would mean everyone is forced to move with his explicit approval, more or less. (He almost reminds me of Louis XIV, can’t tell if that’s what they were going for.) I have my doubts that his abilities could extend that far, but human history shows us that we are plenty susceptible to fascist and totalitarian rhetoric. In a shocking display of anger, Comte draws the line at controlling humanity and forcing them into a regime in which, and this is Vlad’s description not mine, “we (purebloods) would be like kings.” There’s definitely a concept of evolutionary superiority at play here, which echoes what I mentioned earlier; vampires seem to have this awareness that they’re apex predators in a sense, and enjoy the power that comes with that. Unfortunately, that probably makes for a fairly toxic/uncomfortable larger species culture, which is exactly what Comte and Leo hate lmao.

Vlad does not seem to find any issue with this sort of outlook, and asks MC to decide which of them--Vlad or Comte--is right. Who is more realistic, who best understands the future? As expected the MC replies that it's Comte, and Vlad goes from beseeching to big mad at record speed. He's p much that gif of the teddy bear that smacks its head down on the tables and then has the angry eyebrows.

This is where Comte intervenes, firing a warning shot that grazes Vlad's cheek and demanding he let MC go. In response, Vlad shoves MC into the turbulent timespace door--p much guaranteeing MC's death. (Essentially timespace is a void of sorts, a human being could never survive in that environment for long. Vlad fully knew this, and yeeted her anyway.)

So uh, yeah. Disagreement? Death. Moving on? Death. Nuanced approach to reality? Death. Beginning to think he doesn't really have a lot of patience or open-mindedness or any other kind of problem-solving approach. 

He raises flowers and gardens like a fiend, and he openly plucks any single flower with a blemished leaf. Even if a single petal is slightly damaged, it will be removed and destroyed. So one could argue his extremism reflects a kind of perfectionism as well. No room for errors or troublesome dissent. No ugliness of any kind. I mean in all of his interactions with Faust and Charles this is the overt undertone. Don't ask more of me than I'm willing to give. Behave like good children, mommy's busy. Is that insubordination? boss music begins

One thing I actually don't understand very well is his decision making in Dazai's route. Dazai finds out about what Vlad's doing in a nanosecond when he senses MC is in danger, and yet Vlad makes absolutely no move to eliminate Dazai? He just watches from the shadows. Even when Dazai grills Charles about his loyalty to Vlad, no retribution.

My best guess for this specific situation is that Vlad does derive some level of satisfaction thwarting the future of human beings/former humans. Dazai--being somebody with no great desire to live, no rivals to speak of as far as we can tell, and no larger aspirations--is a life that is easily extinguished. There's no satisfaction in it. When Vlad's clan was murdered and he saw the future decimated, it could be that he felt humans had invaded and eradicated every potentiality that was important to him. Where he might have lived happily with his family, that future was ripped from his grasp. Where he might enjoy his flowers and the creation of an immortal for the rest of conceivable time, that too was ripped from his grasp with a desolate future. 

So much about who Vlad is is about control, so it's very possible his lashing out is an extension of that. Dazai does not awaken any of the disdain he feels, and he does not succeed in overthrowing Vlad's control over Charles, so Vlad simply lurks in silence.

And last but not least, I've seen the preview to Vlad's newest birthday event story. The contents are incredibly revealing, in that MC wishing him a happy birthday and offering him a gift has him saying that it was "the best birthday ever." Granted idk if that’s sweet or just...beyond sad, but here we are. It’s only compounding my curiosity about the wound on his chest--I really do wonder if he was attacked and locked away by vampire hunters or hostile human beings or something. I say that only because that line speaks to a lot of isolation, and given how little he seems to care about turning people/subjecting them to his whims it feels odd. Why the isolation or lack of people who care about him? Is it a perceived lack where his actions alienated all the people who wanted to be close to him, or is it a more involuntary lack?

When she says let’s celebrate again next year, he seems a pleasantly shocked by the notion, and remarks “Ah yes, it’s a promise c:”. The preview was also mega horny: “You make me feel so loved, I don’t think I can be gentle with you tonight. If you enjoy it so much, then I won’t stop. I want to see you completely lost for me. I’ll teach your body what it means to be loved by a pureblood.” Aaaaaand pretty sure the CG was alluding to him licking the good stuff from her basement, though not entirely sure given it was only the preview. 

The brief POV they give us is also very revealing:

“You always keep your promises, and I think I underestimate all the time how much you saved me. You are good, only you are good in this world.”

“Will we continue to make promises to each other in the future? Well in that case--you will always, always be mine, my vampire.”

Tbh he’s...v sweet? In his own way? Honestly he feels like a crabapple that is just so sick of the world and wants softe wife to take comfort in. While granted that’s not really my thing, I know a fanbase appeal exists for these types--so if that’s your thing, have at it!

So now that we have reached the end of my ridiculously long analysis (when am I ever brief, I’m so sorry. If you made it all the way here you deserve a cookie at the very least, if not the right to chase me with a bat) perhaps it’s more clear why I said discount vampire Sasuke Uchiha? “My clan is gone, every other second I’m going to be in retraumatization insanity, when I’m not I’ll be seeking power/hobbies, planning the demise of people who wanted the best for me, building a team to my advantage and unquestioned control, and eventually settling for a lifelong love who sees the best in me despite my more difficult moments and perceived hollowing loneliness. Not the most ideal comparison, but I will say if Vlad was not already named the historical figure, would have pointed and yelled Uchiha.

That’s all from me folks, hopefully this was a fun way to get introduced to him? And again, hope I didn’t alienate--I fully respect what people do and don’t enjoy o7

[popurikat]

Newtmas essay when?

Finally getting to this, thanks for waiting, I needed to go over a few bookmarks. (Warning, this post contains spoilers from the MAZE RUNNER book and FEVER CODE book, so if you haven’t read either or yet and want the jist of my analysis; just know that in general the fandom interpreting Newt as gay before it was revealed on a twitter post was not just a random headcanon and that Thomas in general is portrayed to have very strong unconditional love for Newt throughout the series; and it shows. To the point that even the director for the movie has stated that Newt and Thomas have a strong bond and portrays that in the movies. I will also preface that I am NOT adding personal opinion anywhere here, these are just backings from quotes and how they are thus meant to be taken/read as. My words are taken as a reader who is currently reading Scorch Trials has yet to fully read Death Cure or Crank Palace.) Anways, without further ado at 3AM today, I’ll try my best to explain how even though Dashner tries his best to make Thomas have other, female love interests; he creates a not so subtle gay subtext for Tommy boy here when in the context of interacting with Newt throughout the lore. Apologies beforehand for any grammar mistakes along the way.

To commence, I am going to start with FEVER CODE, as its supposed to act as the story’s preface to the actual events that play out later. Newt and Thomas upon meeting each other describe their presence as “familiar” and or as a “long lost friend” and they genuinely hit it off from the start to the point that Newt is okay with having Thomas see him cry over the fact that he and his sister are separated since he is doomed to be WCKD’s control analysis as he’s the only one lacking immunity from the flare itself. Once Newt is done being emotionally vulnerable we get our first instance of his personal nickname for Thomas: “That’s the way things are Tommy,’ he said his voice not quite steady. ‘The world outside’s gone to hell. Why should we expect any different here? [...] He said it as if they’d been friends for years” (ch. 14).   An interesting note here is that Thomas doesn’t bother to correct him or stifle the moment by feeling that all this information was too much, he genuinely wanted to hear Newt out and is fine with seeing this side of him; if not slightly taken aback by how natural it is that they can converse about such aspects of their lives. In fact, Newt makes such an impact on Thomas that Thomas ends up that same night dreaming of him: “Throughout his shortened night, he dreamed of Newt and Sonya. Of Newt and Lizzy“(Ch. 14). The thing with Thomas though is that the idea of comfort and connection is very foreign to him as he’s been basically isolated all his life with only the adults like Ava to talk to and the one exception being Teresa as his only kid companion. So Thomas didn’t even think he could make others like him for being himself unless they were vital to the overall production of WCKD. Seeing this portion right before the end of chapter 14: “Alby, Minho, Newt, Teresa. Thomas had friends.” shows that Thomas really had to deep dive to see how he deals with personal connections and why he was excited about the notion of friendship. He could’ve been happy with just Teresa, but only fully cemented her bond to him as “friend” when his circle grew and these kids he got to hang with taught him he can be himself, a concept he didn’t realize was possible when all his life was dictated on what he was supposed to learn or do. It becomes especially clear just how controlled his life is with the aspect of sentiment when later on Teresa’s mental communication evokes physcial pain and fear in Thomas. I’ll get back to that later as its more of a small tid bit of Thomas’ view on his forced love interest, Teresa. And yes, I say forced because multiple sentences with Thomas have him even wish he could cease all communication with her. Moving on, let’s talk about mimicking for a second. As humans, we mimic as a behavioral response to become closer to the person we care about. It’s the reason why yawning or laughter is contagious and or why we copy the posture of the person we converse with face to face. Thomas is seen to do this the most with Newt’s quirks. I’ll give the example in chapter 15: “Newt has been promising them that he was saving something special, and he did that annoying zipped-lipped sign every time [...] the little light in his eyes showed he enjoyed every second of their torture” versus Thomas: “Thomas did Newt’s zipped-lipped gesture, and that got him a sharp poke in the ribs”. So, we know enough that Thomas’ mannerisms are developing as a sign that he wants to be closer to Newt and to continue this sense of playfulness they both enjoy from the other. This is the start of their budding bond and a clear indication that they hold each other at greater fondness than the rest through this unconscious copying. Through this copying, they also pick up on emotional cues the other lets up on. Newt is especially good at noticing small things like when Thomas is anxious or overthinking: “He was just shocked that with all their exploring, the others hadn’t already discovered it on their own. And there were supposed to be TWO mazes. How had Newt and his friends not stumbled upon either one of them? ‘Tommy?’ Thomas realized Newt was staring straight at him, eyebrows raised. ‘Sorry,’ he said embarrassed, ‘wandered off for a second there what did you say?’ Newt shook his head in admonishment. ‘Try to keep up, Tommy Are you ready to see the grat outdoors?” (ch. 15). Also in chapter 23: “Tommy?’ It was Newt, breaking him out of his thoughts. ‘I can see your wheels spinnin’ up there.’ He tapped the side of his head”. This furthers Newts perceptiveness on his friend and Thomas’ ability to pick out when he is being looked after. And they bounce off each other really well in that aspect. To the point that Newt can crack a joke he knows will land right on Thomas’ sense of humor: “Newt waggled his fingers in front of Thomas’ face [...] A laugh exploded out of Thomas’ mouth that sent a spray everywhere. ‘Sorry’ he said, wiping his lips on his sleeve” (ch.15). It’s enjoyable to know that at least at a surface level, they have fun together and can cheer the other up if needed or know when to ground the other to reality. It is also through these instances that as a reader I pick up that Thomas’ nervous ticks perhaps allude to an anxiety disorder he has; of which Newt is aware of and never puts Thomas down on for exhibiting. He in fact understands it and deals with it accordingly as he himself has a similar circumstance. SO, what does all this paying attention lead to? Thomas’ devotion to protect Newt. Yeah, thats right I said devotion. Thomas’ actions are influenced by his developed instinct to protect Newt at all costs. Here is the biggest example that comes to mind: “What in the world happened to Newt? -- Less then two hours later, Thomas had spliced together a series of camera clips [...] Thomas turned off the feed. He couldn’t take it anymore...Newt, Newt, Newt, Thomas thought, feeling as if the very air around him were turning black.”(ch.52). Essentially, Thomas seeing Newt plummet to his near death by falling from the maze wall as a result of Newt’s ongoing depressive state, this is the moment that makes Thomas realize WICKD isn’t as good as they seem and that he is going into the maze to save Newt. Its admirable how much self sacrifice Thomas does for someone he cares so much about, to the point that their name is like a mantra. Thats a sensible area of passion and fighting spirit for someone who is “just a friend”.    Oh and, the feeling of fondness is mutual mind you if I haven’t been clear. After experiencing the horrors of cranks for the first time, realizing Newt was not immune, and watching Newt until they entered the pits it has been months since they last interacted; this is their first reunion: “What’s up Tommy?’ Newt exclaimed, his face filled with genuine happiness at the pleasant surprise that’s been sprung on him. Thomas couldn’t remember exactly how long it’d been since he’d seen Newt. ‘You look bloody fantastic for three in the morning” (ch. 23). I need to preface this that Newt DOES NOT mean that sarcastically and that out of all the people in the room (Minho, Chuck and Teresa are there in this scene), Thomas only reacts this way specifically toward seeing Newt is okay and back.   The characters are also not afraid of being physically close. “Well, look who the bloody copper dragged in,’ Newt said, pulling Thomas into a big hug” (ch.31), “They shook hands, and then the two of them set off...” (ch. 31), and my favorite: “Thomas jumped at the sound, then stumbled. Newt tripped over him, and then they were both laughing, legs and arms tangled in a pile on the ground”(ch.32). I don’t think this far in the novel, Thomas has been AS (emphasis on as) comfortable with touch  with anyone else other than Newt. And thats a big step forward on the aspect of trust in a relationship, being able to be comfortable with the presence of another person enough to be as intimate with them as shown here.  And all this, is just fever code itself. Mind you this is not the MEAT of the novels as it came out later. But even without it, lets look at Thomas in Maze now, I’ll try to keep this segment a lot more brief. Here’s Thomas looking respectively at boys his age: “A tall kid with blond hair and a square jaw...a thick, heavy muscled Asian kid folded his arms as he studied Thomas, his tight shirtsleeves rolled up to show off his biceps [...] Newt was taller than Alby too, but looked to be a year or so younger, His hair was blond and cut long, cascading over his T-shirt. Veins stuck out of his muscled arms”(ch. 2). Thomas’ initial reaction to being surrounded by boys is to deeply analyze their rugged good looks and heavily emphasize their best physical traits. When reading this the first time, my mind immediately thought this boy at the very least is supposed to be portrayed as bi, especially when later down the line Teresa gets a similar descriptor: “...despite her paleness, she was really pretty...silky hair, flawless skin, perfect lips, long legs.” So right off the bat, we know that be it boy or girl, Thomas emphasizes how attractive someone looks in his eyes when he truly does have a sense of attraction to them. Case closed. Within the same chapter we get Thomas also immediately clinging onto Newt for a sense of grounding, it is now ingrained in him at this point that the boy is his lifeline, a person to rely on. “Thomas looked over at Newt, hoping for help.” And help he does, Newt in this chapter helps ease his worries, explain a general idea of what the glade is and even pats him on the shoulder a bit to ease tension. And Thomas doesn’t bat an eye in the same way he’s weary of literally everyone else. In fact, he’s eager to stay put with him as shown with; “If Newt went up there, then I wanna talk to him.” And if none of that seals the deal, we got early bird Newt being so touch starved he flattens himself next to Thomas to wake him up at the crack of Dawn in chapter 6: “Someone shook Thomas awake. His eyes snapped open to see a too-close face staring down at him, everything around them still shadowed by the darkness of early morning...’Shh, Greenie. Don’t wanna be waking up Chuckie, now, do we?’ It was Newt --the guy who seemed second in command; the air reeked of his morning breath. Though Thomas was surprised, any alarm melted away immediately”. This whole scene follows firstly by Thomas once again impressed by how strong Newt is and then Newt giving him a rundown of what everyone else was too afraid to show Thomas, the grievers. And you know, this scene could’ve ended well and everything as totally platonic, but then we have “Newt turned to look at him dead in the eye. The first traces of dawn had crept up on them, and Thomas could see EVERY DETAIL OF NEWT’S FACE, HIS SKIN TIGHT, HIS BROW CREASED.” Now, look me in the eye and tell me there is a hetero explanation on looking at your best bro like they are the sun reincarnated themselves. But let’s not hog all the homosexual undertones with Thomas here. Wanna know what Newt’s initial reaction to having a girl in the glade was? “It’s a girl,’ he said [...] Newt shushed them again. ‘That’s not bloody half of it,’ he said, then pointed down into the box. ‘I think she’s dead” (ch.8). It’s actually a stark contrast to the other gladers eagerly wanting to know her age, how pretty she looked, and calling dibs to date her; Newt isn’t interested in any of that, he’s more perplexed on her status and not even bothering to remark on her looks, he was the only one not to and even remarks a few other instances that girls are more Thomas’ domain. For instance, he makes a joke in fever code when Thomas remarks that the girls in the institution were going to tackle him down, Newt proceeds to point out sarcastically something along the lines of “wait, isn’t that YOUR dream though?” So Newt is pretty out spoken of his disinterest in girls, and his full admiration and attention on Thomas. Oh, and yes, Newt immediately switches over to “Tommy” the moment Thomas mentions he hates being called greenie, and once again it just becomes a thing between only the two of them. Newt is also the one to be straight forward about the whole Runners business. He warns Thomas about the dangers and doesn’t necessarily turn him down on his desire to be one, he in fact encouraged him to just wait until the right moment. “No one said you couldn’t, but give it a rest for now”(ch. 15). So once again, Newt is the voice of confidence and reason for Thomas to prosper. In turn, this time around Thomas is the one to catch when something is bothering Newt. For instance, “Newt chewed his fingernails, something he hadn’t seen the older boy do before...he was genuinely concerned -- Newt was one of the few people in the Glade he actually liked ”(ch.16). Interesting how we went from fever code “friend” to “like”. And also, when Newt explains his concern about the runners not coming back yet, Thomas pieces together how scared Newt is of the Maze without being told and goes to stand next to him as a physical presence to ground Newt as they wait near the entrance. In fact, this piece is trivial to understand why Thomas does what he does next. When everyone else had given up on the Runners still outside with 2 minutes left til closing, and Newt was escorted away from the entrance, Thomas waited. And when Thomas saw them, he yells to Newt, realizes he’s too far to do anything, and makes a decision himself. He KNEW how much Newt cared about his fellow Gladers, they were like family or “kin” as its said in the book, so what does he do? “Don’t do it Tommy! Don’t you bloody do it!’ ... Thomas knew he had no choice. He moved. Forward. He squeezed past the connecting rods at the last second and stepped into the maze”(ch.16). Yes, Thomas does this because of his empathy for the Gladers, but the chain reaction of Newt’s concern is what sets his decision in stone. And yet again, Thomas enters the maze for Newt.  And that’s pretty much the constant for the rest of Maze Runner the book, Newt just sticking up for Thomas and Thomas in turn just being happy that: “He was at least relieved that Newt was there” (ch.17). And thats basically their entire dynamic. Newt just going: “If you really did help design the maze Tommy, it’s not your fault. You‘re a kid -- you can’t help what they forced you to do” to ease the survivor’s trauma Thomas has, as well as saying “I actually believe you. You just don’t have an ounce of lying in those eyes of yours. And I can’t bloody believe I’m about to say this...but I’m going back in there to convince those shanks we should go through the griever hole, just like you said”(ch.51); and I think thats the most romantic thing to hear from him. Just right out being all for supporting Thomas no matter what happens as long as he stays alive and continues to fight, he doesn’t care about what happened before. And Thomas eats that up because it fuels him even more to seek out a means to escape for the people (Newt) that deserve a life outside of running from monsters forever. So essentially, I’ll state again, it’s always been Newt the catalyst for Thomas to run head first into the Maze and seek freedom. And with all this I can clear that these two are shown to if not be romantically involved, at least have unconditional love for the other that transcends the author’s original intention.  And with that in mind, here’s the thing with Teresa as a love interest. I can list here quotes of every time she mind speaks to Thomas and how that affects him, but then this would be too long. And this is a newtmas post gosh darn it. Teresa is gleeful to humiliate, control, hurt, and force Thomas to believe they’re in love. In multiple instances we get her barging into his mind unwarranted making him understand that she has full access to his inner most thoughts. Theres nothing romantic about that, and I think its why Thomas ends up being so perceptive to the smallest of gestures that allow him to think on his own and feel like his own person. Something I’ve seen Brenda do later in scorch, and something I’ve seen Newt do since the very beginning is that they allow Thomas to come to his own conclusions in order to create his own opinions on the matters at hand. Thomas’ love language revolves around words of affirmation. He likes it when people confirm his thoughts are valid and that remind him that WICKD can’t hurt him anymore now that he has the power to be his own person. This is where Newt comes in very handy. He allows Thomas to grow in ways his female love interests have yet to show, sorry Brenda but I’ve heard you were trying to unite all immunes together to the safe haven by the end and in a sense still only using Thomas to get by; I still think she was the better call than teresa of course and I have no remorse for Teresa getting smushed by a boulder. But essentially my point here is that, how do you fail to make your initial love interests clash so badly where one has no real care about the others well being so long as everything goes according to WCKD by using a form of gaslighting and manipulation? AND THOMAS HAS STATED HIS DISCOMFORT ON THIS MULTIPLE TIMES, but the narrative always erases these instances from his mind in place of pity for Teresa’s well being (as you can tell, Teresa through this becomes my least favorite character, I can rant about her some othe time though with proper backing). The narrative in turn treats it all like a joke. I understand there are scenes where Thomas is worried about her and looks out to make sure shes ok, but even then he doesn’t know how to react with mental images of her kissing his cheek or when she screams the next minute that she doesn’t know who he is or how hes speaking into her mind. And thats because they can’t properly communicate their emotions to the other, not even in fever code could Thomas give a forward answer if he loved Teresa or not, she just assumed. Come to think of it, Thomas really doesn’t show much affection to Teresa of his own accord. So then, how DOES Thomas show his affection? Thomas provides acts of service as his love language, if he cares about you enough he will risk his life for you. Why? Because Thomas values putting the people he loves foremost knowing full well they are what help him have purpose and succeed in continuing on. In a way, Newt and Thomas’ dynamic works in this instance because they balance the other out and because they have seen each other at their worst and at their best. In a way, that's why knowing the ending of the books makes it harder to accept that Thomas would just easily take the shot...when all his life clung to Newt’s survival. But that’s a story for another time where I compare the movies (of which let me make that clear, yes I prefer) over the books. For now just know that the book may have done this by accident, maybe not, but at the end of the day theres solid proof that Thomas and Newt care about each other in a way that is separately portrayed from their connection to the other glade members, and have this consistency of soft moments running through the entirety of the series. In conclusion; newtmas. Newtmas. NEWTMAS, etc.

[whereisten]

Heal

A Kun fic that’s part of our Halloween Series!

Summary: Doctor Qian Kun is a young and successful doctor who works miracles. And you are no exception when you become his patient.

Pairing: Doctor! Kun x female reader

Genre: romance, angst, fantasy, horror

Word Count: 5.6k

Warnings: blood, manipulation

(A/N: Thank you guys so much for your support with our Halloween fics! Hope you enjoy the adventures of y/n and Doctor Kun!)

___

You were no stranger to visits to the Neo Hospital in your hometown. When you were a baby, you basically lived at the hospital. You were prone to colds and fevers. You always experienced body aches and fatigue. You were born with a chronic autoimmune disorder that left many doctors baffled. They were only able to provide you with medications to alleviate your pains temporarily. You were confined to stay at home, to be homeschooled by your parents, and make friends online. Your childhood was far from normal.

You were a college junior now and you’ve been strictly online. If it wasn’t for the Internet, you probably would’ve lost your mind by now.

You had contact with the outside world but not physical contact. It’s what you longed for the most.

You resented your family. Your older and younger siblings could go out whenever they pleased. How did they get so lucky? Why were you the only sibling that got the short end of the stick?

Everyone in your family always interacted with you carefully, using hand sanitizer and always washing their hands prior to helping you with something. They treated you like a fine, porcelain doll that had to be preserved. It was irritating on your best days and unbearable on your worst. You felt like an abomination sometimes.

However, throughout the years, you would rebel. You would run away from home when your parents eyes wandered for a moment. The farthest you’d get before getting caught was the park. You were lucky that you didn’t develop any harsh symptoms from those times you ran away. However, you would be punished for taking such risks. You’d get your phone and internet privileges taken away for a month every time.

Last week, you succeeded in your most ambitious escape yet: you made it to Target to buy the new Ariana Grande CD. You thought that the one trip to Target couldn’t hurt you. By no means was it crowded and no one got into your space.

Well, you were wrong to think that you’d be fine.

Now you came down with a fever and you’d been placed on bed rest at your all-too familiar Room 1196 on the eleventh floor of the hospital.

You resented your body. A lot of people could recover from a fever and carry on with their day-to-day lives but you? Not so much.

Your parents made a whole spectacle of getting you to be seen by the best doctors but these doctors couldn’t help you the way you’d hoped.

However, this time, you awoke the next morning after your intake and felt...nothing.

Like you never had a fever in the first place.

You spent the morning checking your social media. Your crush/online classmate Sicheng was on a weekend hiking trip with his friends. He was with a bunch of beautiful, healthy people in North Carolina. You were even more bummed to be in the hospital now.

You wondered what life would be like if you didn’t have your condition. Where could you have gone? Who would you be now?

You’ve always wanted to go to the beach by yourself. To the supermarket. Hell, across the street. You wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. Without anyone coddling you and watching your every move.

You wished for freedom from the body you were born with. To find a new one, somehow.

Because you had no hope for your current body to change.

“Y/n? Can I come in?” A male voice was heard from the door.

“Sure.” You sat upright on the bed.

The person at the door entered and he was the prettiest healthcare provider you’d ever laid your eyes on. He had warm, brown eyes and a radiant smile. His dark blue hair was wavy.

Suddenly, you regretted not brushing your hair that morning.

He donned a lab coat with the hospital’s name on it. His name tag was in a lanyard: Dr. Qian Kun, MD, DOM, PharmD.

He looked very young...And to have all of those titles? Your head was spinning.

He frowned as he saw how confused you looked. “Are you alright?”

You nodded. “I am.”

He sat on the chair beside your bed. “It’s nice to meet you, y/n. I’m Dr. Qian Kun but you can call me Kun.”

You blinked a few times. “Are you really a doctor?”

He laughed, confused. “What?”

“You don’t seem that much older than me…”

He sighed. “I get that a lot. I’m twenty-four. I graduated early from university...Earned my titles...Now here I am.”

“That’s amazing. You are probably the youngest doctor ever.”

Kun shook his head. “Afraid not. Bala Ambati became a doctor at seventeen.”

You shook your head. “Still...You have three doctorates. That means triple the sleep deprivation. Hats off to you.”

Kun chuckled as he looked at your information in his clipboard. “Your vitals have improved a lot since yesterday.”

You looked down at your hands. “Yeah...That’s impossible…”

Kun shook his head, noting how down you looked. “It is possible, y/n.”

You met his gaze. “How?”

He smiled. “Are you familiar with oriental medicine?”

He sure was charming, you thought. You reminded yourself to answer his question. “No, I’m not.”

Kun got up from his seat. “Well, there are many different practices that a doctor of oriental medicine can utilize, like acupuncture, meditation, and herbal therapy...To restore harmony to the human body. I specialize in herbal therapy.”

“I see…”

“I have created an herbal mixture that has worked efficiently to get my patients back up on their feet.”

Incredulous still, you managed to say, “That’s great, Doctor.”

He lifted an eyebrow.

“I mean, Kun.”

Kun resumed, “And I‘ve provided you with the herbal mixture and from the looks of it, the results have quickly taken effect.”

You were speechless. “That’s…”

“I know it’s hard to believe, y/n. But sometimes doctors fail to find other alternatives to help their patients. Which is why I’m glad I’m your primary physician now.”

“Wait, what about Doctor Morris?” Doctor Morris had been your primary physician since you were five years old.

“She’s retired. I’ve been taking on a couple of her patients now.”

“I see…”

Kun looked out your room’s window and smiled to himself. “You don’t trust me.”

“Don’t take it personally. I don’t trust any medical professional. No one has been able to understand my condition yet so…”

Kun replied, “You’ve been let down too many times.”

“Exactly. Doctors just can’t figure me out.”

He turned to you and grinned. “Allow me to prove you wrong, then.”

___

At the recommendation of Doctor Kun, you were assigned to stay in the hospital for the next few weeks to see how the herbal mixture would affect your body if you took it for a longer period of time.

Every passing day, you felt more alive. It was weird to say this but you felt more alive at the hospital than you did before. You were beginning to suspect that Kun’s herbal mixture was actually working.

The herbal mixture was made of feverfew among other medicinal herbs. It had certainly done the trick to reduce your fever overnight. You wondered just what this mixture was made of.

You just finished your online linguistics lecture and closed your laptop. You found Kun waiting at the door. “You free?”

You nodded. “Yes.”

He sat down next to you and pulled some of your favorite candy out of his pocket.

He put the candy bar in your hand. His fingers lightly touched your palm. Your face warmed up at his proximity. “Happy Halloween, y/n.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out. How did he know you loved Twix? You took the candy bar into your hand and almost cried.

“Y/n?” He asked, worried.

You wiped a tear away. “Sorry...It’s just that this time of the year is hard because...I want to celebrate it. Go out and trick or treat...I know that time has gone for me but I hate that I missed out, you know…”

“Y/n…”

You sniffled and took a bite of the chocolate bar. “My parents never wanted me to feel like I was missing out so they would bring the holiday home to me. I was never in need of M&Ms, Skittles, Twix, or Sour Patch Kids…They even helped me make the best Halloween costumes. We would watch a bunch of horror movies all month long...But I wanted to be a kid. I wanted to go out with my friends and go door to door…”

Kun’s heart went out to you. He hated seeing you so down and so deprived of a life that everyone should have. “Y/n, you will be able to do all of the things you want to do in life.”

You looked at Kun and he had a determined look on his face. “How can you be so sure?”

“I’ve worked with people with conditions like yours...They thought they would be attached to the hospital forever one way or another. But with my methods, I was able to help them turn their life around. And now they’re living normally and fully.”

You sighed. “I’m happy to hear that...I just don’t think I’ll be one of them.”

Kun placed his hand over yours. “Trust me, y/n. I won’t let you down.”

You met his eyes, then, and you smiled. “Thanks, Kun. I’ve gotta hand it to you. You’re my favorite doctor.”

He beamed. “Is that so?”

You nodded. “Yeah...None of the other doctors ever gave me so much as a lollipop Even though that seems to be the norm on TV…”

Kun chuckled. “There’s more where that came from, y/n.”

___

It has been a month since you’ve entered the hospital. The medical bills were covered by an anonymous benefactor. Your family didn’t have to worry about the financial strain of your hospital stay.

Your family came to visit you and they were stunned at how radiant you looked. They were surprised at how much more ALIVE you looked when they expected you to be weak and miserable because you were at the hospital. Something about you was different.

“Doctor Kun is a miracle worker, isn’t he?” Your dad asked.

“I heard he’s a sight for sore eyes, too...Don’t you think so, y/n?” Your older sister Sydney teased.

You mom shook her head and helped fluff your pillows. “How are you, sweetheart?”

You smiled. “I’m better, actually. I think Kun’s methods are working.”

“Oh, are you two on a first name basis?” Your sister joked.

You rolled your eyes. “He told me to call him Kun. If you saw him, you’d feel weird calling him Doctor, actually.”

“He’s quite young, y/n. He graduated from a top university in Beijing at age 10. Then, he went to medical school right after. He’s been a practicing doctor for a couple of years now. He’s unbelievable,” you dad said.

Kun entered the room, then. “I hope I’m not interrupting. I’m Doctor Qian Kun. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Your mom was in love with him. Your dad was in shock at how young he was. Your sister wanted his number. You broke their stunned silence. “Kun, these are my parents Donna and Andrew. And this is my sister, Sydney.”

Kun greeted them. “I’m glad you are all here so I can tell you the good news.”

Everyone was shocked at the phrase “good news”. What good news could he possibly have to share?

Kun continued, “Y/n, your vitals are working at optimum level and we want to see how well you can fare by discharging you.”

You asked, “What?”

Kun smiled. “You can start having a normal life...In which you can attend in-person classes, go to the supermarket, take up a sport…”

You weren’t sure about the last thing he offered but everything else he suggested made you jump out of your bed. “Serious?”

Kun’s smile grew. “Yes.”

Your parents gave each other looks.

Your dad started. “Doctor, are you sure about this...y/n has lived all of her life in our home. The only outside world she’s ever known is our backyard and this hospital.”

Kun nodded. “I am sure. I’ve worked with several patients with similar cases as y/n’s and I would like to put the effect of the herbal mixture to the test. If there is any risk, she will immediately be brought back to the hospital and I will up the dosage for the herbs.”

After a few more minutes of discussion, your parents reluctantly agreed to take you home. To alleviate their concerns, you promised to consult with Kun once a week so he could monitor your progress.

You would be going home tomorrow and you had been given the green light to live a normal life. Outside. Go to classes. See your friends. Go to the beach. Buy fruits at the grocery store.

You packed up your belongings and Kun visited you one last time before you left. “Hey.”

You smiled brightly at him. “Hi!”

“How are you feeling?”

“Better than I ever have, honestly. And I have you to thank for that. Look, I’m not sure if this will work out in the end but the fact that I can take the chance and go out there...Thank you.”

Kun ruffled your hair. “I’m here for you, y/n.”

You did admit to yourself that you’d had a little crush on Dr. Kun but who were you kidding? He was so out of your league. You’d had a friend in him and you would always be thankful to him. “I have something for you.”

Kun’s eyes widened. “For me?”

“I wasn’t sure it’d get to my house in time but my mom got the package today. I told her to bring it today when everyone visited so…”

You pulled out a small gift bag with Kun’s present inside.

Kun smiled. “You didn’t have to get me anything.” “You’ve done a lot for me, Kun. I may have my doubts but I don’t doubt your intentions. And they're nothing but good. You’ve been doing so much for me. You’re setting me free...In a way.”

You handed the bag to Kun. He pulled out a little wrapped box from inside. He looked at you as he mocked suspicion.

He removed the wrapping to find a pair of AirPods. He gaped. “Y/n…”

You smiled. “For whenever you need to escape the noise…”

Kun had told you that sometimes he would get overwhelmed with his duties at the hospital and you’d asked him what gave him comfort. He told you it was music. So you figured something as light and portable as AirPods could help Kun calm down whenever he needed it throughout the day.

He smiled brightly at you and surprised you by wrapping his arms around you. “Y/n, thank you...You shouldn’t have…”

You froze. Kun’s toned body was against yours and you could feel the racing of his heart. Your heart probably beat twice as fast. You felt yourself get warmer and warmer. You pulled away from him, his hands on your arms.

He blushed. “Sorry…”

You cleared your throat. “Don’t worry about it…”

Your dad returned to the hospital room. “Y/n, you ready?”

Perfect timing, dad, you thought.

“Yeah, I’m coming.”

___

It may have been the second semester of your junior year but you felt as nervous as an incoming college freshman as you entered Neo University’s grounds for the first time. You were meeting some of your friends for the first time ever.

It was one thing to see them on the screen but your heart accelerated thinking of what it would be like to see them in the flesh.

You’ve been doing well so far with the herbs Kun had sent you home with. You were able to go grocery shopping with your mom. She was still considering whether or not you could go to the beach yet. You hoped that your progress would continue so she would say yes.

You felt healthier than ever. You could breathe well through your nose. You felt no body aches. You were ready to cartwheel across the quadrangle.

First, you had to learn how to cartwheel, though.

“Y/n!!!!!” Jungeun called out to you.

Your blonde best friend ran up to you and jumped you from behind. “Ah!”

“Jungeun!” You gasped.

She laughed. “You said I could touch you so I wasn’t about to hold back.”

You hugged each other tightly.

“Y/n, it’s so good to see you!”

You and Jungeun have been friends since middle school so you were already a sobbing mess on your first day.

“Stop crying, y/n or else I’m gonna…” She started crying, too.

“Enough with the tears, already,” Dejun added.

You and Jungeun hugged Dejun to bother him, then.

He laughed. “Y/n, welcome to Neo U.”

“Thanks,” you said, smiling.

You three went to your seminar together and you were just so in awe of being in a classroom, you had trouble focusing on the lecture. You were even more distracted when you saw that Sicheng was in the same class.

He recognized you and waved. You were yelling so loudly on the inside.

Before this semester, you had the occasional online class that you shared. You saw Sicheng for the first time a year ago and your crush on him grew from there. He was one of the most popular guys on campus, according to Jungeun. You had a group project with him last semester and he was so...Perfect.

He was intelligent and down-to-earth. His smile was so sweet and his eyes pierced into your soul. He was talking poetry. It felt like you were seeing your favorite celebrity in person.

When class ended, you went to lunch with your friends and Sicheng joined you.

“How are you, y/n?” He asked.

“I’m great. Never been better,” you replied.

He smiled. “I’m glad. If you ever need anything, please let me know. You have my number.”

You nodded. “Of course. Same here. If you ever need anything. I’m here for you, too.”

Sicheng chuckled. “Great.”

When you finished lunch, Jungeun couldn’t stop poking fun at you. Sicheng left early for a club meeting. “I’m surprised he didn’t ask you out, then!”

You rolled your eyes. “Ask who out?”

Dejun added. “Me, of course.”

Jungeun continued. “The ‘you have my number’ couldn’t have been more obvious. He wants you in his dorm yesterday.”

You frowned. “And what would we do? Fix his bed?”

Jungeun and Dejun laughed. Jungeun added, “The opposite, y/n.”

Your face heated up then. “Oh.”

Since you have basically spent most of your life either at home or at the hospital, you never even considered the possibility of a love life. You tried to convince yourself that dating sims would’ve been enough.

“Don’t worry, y/n...You and Sicheng can take it slow...He’s no incubus who is trying to take your soul,” Dejun offered.

“True,” you said.

That was if Sicheng saw you that way in the first place.

___

A few weeks had passed. You’d been seeing Kun regularly to check in and everything had gone as expected. You were fine. You weren’t exhibiting any flare-ups. So long as you kept taking the prescribed herbs, you would be fine.

“How is everything, y/n?” He asked.

“Pretty good, actually. School is still school, even if it’s in person. But I got to go to a skating rink for the first time.”

He laughed. “How was it?”

“I am terrible.” You showed your legs. “It explains these bruises.”

Kun shook his head and chuckled. “I’m glad you’re getting out more, y/n. Try and take it one step at a time.”

“Oh, geez. I wish you said that sooner. I already joined a blood cult and I’m getting married next week.”

Kun rolled his eyes as he finished taking notes from your consultation.

“How is everything with you, doc?”

Kun’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Surely, you’re not always at the hospital.”

Kun sighed. “Well, y/n...it just so happens that I’ve taken residence up on the top floor. The whole floor is my apartment. Don’t really get to spend much time there because I’m almost always on call.”

Your jaw dropped. “What? Kun, that’s abuse. You shouldn’t be working so many hours. It’s against the-“

Kun couldn’t help his smile appearing.

“You sneaky bastard,” you said.

You both laughed, then.

Sometimes you forgot Kun was a successful doctor. Sometimes he felt like your infinitely smarter senior at college.

He was a million worlds away from yours.

Kun answered, “Well, I’m doing fine, y/n. I meet up with friends once in a while and go white-water rafting.”

“That sounds like fun!”

Kun shook his head. “It’s challenging but exciting. I get a rush every time I go.”

You thought out loud. “I’d love to try it sometime…”

Kun pat you in the back. “When you are at one hundred perfect, I’ll give you the green light. Sounds good?”

You nod.

___

You’d wrapped up your midterm and you were ready to head home and take a nap. You walked through the student quad.

“Y/n!” Sicheng called out to you.

You turned around and found Sicheng running towards you.

You smiled, already warm in the face. “Hi.”

“I was wondering if you were free right now…”

“Really? Me?”

He smiled, confused at your question. “Yeah, you. Want to go to the movies with me?”

You nodded. “Absolutely.”

Sicheng drove you guys to the movies. He bought the tickets and the snacks. He let you pick the movie. You picked The Blair Witch Project. It came out over twenty years ago but the theater was doing a limited time screening of it.

You and Sicheng couldn’t shut up throughout the whole movie as you whispered to each and made each other laugh. You’d almost gotten kicked out of the theater.

You left the theater together and he asked you to dinner. You said yes. You were starting to think that this was a date.

“Y/n, this is a date, right?” He asked you at dinner.

You stopped eating your chicken parmigiana and looked at him with big eyes. “I think...Is it?”

Sicheng sighed. “I wanted it to be…”

You laughed. “Oh, thank God. I thought it was all in my head for a second. Maybe you were this nice to all of your friends.”

He pointed out, “I am not this nice to my friends, I can promise you that.”

Sicheng drove you home and kissed you goodnight before you entered your house. You felt like you were floating on a cloud now.

___

Two days later, there was a campus alert that Sicheng had gone missing. His face was all over the news. The last time he was heard from was when he told his best friend Jaehyun that he was going to ask you out to the movies. The last time he was seen was when he took you home.

Sicheng’s car was found a mile away from the dorms. The key was still in the ignition and his wallet and phone were left behind.

You were brought into the police station for questioning and you told them everything that happened the night Sicheng disappeared.

You were worried. What could have happened to him? Would he be alright? Would he be able to come back home? You missed him so much.

You took an evening stroll around your neighborhood to try and calm down. You reached the park where there was no other soul in sight.

Suddenly, you felt a tingly sensation in the back of your neck. You felt that someone was following you.  

You began to walk faster. Suddenly, you were pinned to the ground and everything turned black.

___

You woke up in Room 1196, then. Wait...It wasn’t 1196...It was a different room in Neo Hospital. The room was dark and you could only hear the sound of your breathing. It grew more hysterical with each second.

You felt a burning sensation in your neck. You cried out in pain. You cried out, “Help me, please.”

“Y/n…” You recognized Kun’s voice.

You nearly yelled out in pain but restrained yourself. “What...happened?”

“An animal attack,” he started.

You frowned. “What?”

Kun sighed. “It was good that I was there to help you in time, y/n…”

“What?”

Kun moved your hair out of your face. “I was in the neighborhood when I saw the beast attack your neck.”

“A beast?” You frowned.

“Sicheng, was it?”

Your eyes widened. “How do you-“

“You can’t hide anything from me, y/n...You know that’s not how our relationship works.”

“What are you talking about? Ahhhhh.” The pain was getting to be too much for you.

“Can you put two and two together, y/n? Sicheng bit you.”

You shook your head furiously. “No, he wouldn’t-“

Kun snapped his fingers and Sicheng entered the hospital room. His bright expression nowhere to be found. His eyes were a bright red and his lips had traces of blood on them.

“Sicheng?!” You asked.

Sicheng smiled, showing fangs in his teeth. “Hi, y/n…”

“Oh, my God!” You started.

Kun grew annoyed. “Alright, that’s enough pleasantries for my taste. Go.”

Sicheng walked away at his command.

You began, “What the-“

Kun smiled brightly at you then. This time, his straight white teeth displayed his own fangs. “Y/n...Sicheng has put you in a bit of a bind, hasn’t he?”

You tried backing away from Kun and getting off of the bed but it was almost as if the pain kept you from moving.

Kun ran the back of his hand down your cheek. “When a newborn vampire bites you, the bite is lethal...You could die anywhere between minutes and hours...It depends on the bitten, really…”

You flinched at his touch. “What...did you do to me?”

Kun inched closer to you and you winced. He lathered up the blood that leaked from your neck down to your collarbone.

“What had to be done, y/n. From the moment I first saw you, I knew that I had to have you.”

You cried out in pain. “Somebody help me, please! Sicheng, please!”

Kun, annoyed over you mentioning Sicheng, shut the door to the hospital room. “It’s useless, y/n. Sicheng wouldn’t be in this mess if he hadn’t infiltrated what is mine. Now Sicheng must endure the consequences and be at my mercy. I turned him so now he looks to me for instructions. Until I release him...Perhaps in the next millennium...”

You sobbed. “Kun, please make this pain stop! I can’t take it!”

He cooed. “I know, baby. I want to help you. Just say the word and I’ll make the pain go away.”

The pain dominated your senses so you couldn’t process how exactly he would make it go away. “Okay! Just do it!”

Kun got up onto the bed and straddled you. He leaned down towards your neck and bit into you.

You cried out again but this time the excruciating pain turned into a euphoria so glorious, you never wanted it to end. You wrapped your arms around Kun as he continued to drink your blood.

___

It was morning when you had woken up. You were in Room 1196 now. You shot up from your bed and found Kun seated right beside you.

“Good morning, darling,” he started.

You glared at him. “Bite me. Oh, wait, you already did.”

He smiled. “I see your energy is up. That’s good to see.”

You rolled your eyes. “I’m going home…”

Suddenly, you stopped right at the door and your throat started to burn. Your senses heightened and you could sense that one of the nurses was walking right past your room’s door. You wondered what she would taste like if you caught her by surprise right then and there and…

What the holy hell were you thinking?

Kun sighed. “Don’t kill Joyce. She’s the most competent nurse on the staff.”

You ran into your bathroom door and looked at yourself in the mirror.

But you couldn’t.

You put a hand over your mouth and sobbed. “Kun!!!!!”

Kun joined you in the bathroom. “Ah, yes. You won’t be able to gain access to your reflection for another twenty years.”

“Twenty years...What is going on?”

“But what else, y/n? I turned you. To save your life.”

“Turned me into what, Kun?! Say it!”

Kun smiled. “Darling, you already know. Just admit it to yourself.”

You cried. “No…”

“You’ve always wanted a new body. A new life, y/n. And I’ve given it to you. I’ve made you the most powerful creature on this damned planet: a vampire.”

You fell to the ground. You could feel your fangs against your tongue.“Kun! Why did you do this to me? What did I ever do to you?”

Kun sat with you on the ground. “Because I love you, y/n. I never want to be apart from you again.”

You spat in his face. “You made me into a monster.”

Kun, unbothered, wiped your spit away with the sleeve of his coat. “I did not. I made you the best version of yourself you can be. Time for you has become infinite. Your body is immune to all illnesses now. You can see clearly. Your metabolism is in top shape. You are a goddess now.”

You shook your head. “Kun, take it back.”

He chuckled. “You’ve seen enough movies to know that that’s not how it works, y/n...You are mine now. Forever. Just like Sicheng. Just like a lot of the staff in this hospital.”

You shook your head rapidly. “Like hell I’m yours.”

“Y/n, I have been very generous up until this point. Using my blood to help you overcome your chronic condition. Funding your hospital bills...The least you can do is submit to me....”

It was hard to process all of the truths he just delivered. “Your blood?”

He laughed. “You mean you couldn’t taste my blood in the herbal mixture?”

You were about to throw up.

He chuckled darkly. “Admit it, y/n. You loved it.”

“Fuck you, Kun!”

He smiled. “We’ll get to that…”

You sneered. “You are despicable.”

His smile faded. “And you are testing my patience…”  He snapped his fingers at you. “On your knees…”

You stayed on the floor with your arms crossed across your chest.

He frowned as he snapped again. “On your knees, y/n.”

“I don’t think so,” you said.

Kun looked taken aback. “What? How?”

You got up from the ground and looked at him. “I will never submit to you for as long as I live..” If vampires were even considered living.

You ran quickly out of the hospital room, realizing you had superhuman speed now. You were able to leave the historial without facing any temptation to bite someone.

But your thirst had to be satisfied somehow and you had to find a way to quench it without hurting anyone.

___

[2 years later]

You’d skipped town not long after you turned. You sent letters to your family without a return address so as not to risk their safety.

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’m so sorry I ran away. I had no choice. If I didn’t leave, you all would’ve been in danger. One day, I hope to explain it all to you but in the meantime, live your lives fully and love each other. Don’t take anything for granted. I love you so much and will see you again.

Love,

y/n

You had become an infamous blood bag bandit as you moved across the country, running away from Kun. He would occasionally try and track you. Or he would send his henchman like Sicheng to do it for him.

You were lucky so far. You had never attacked a human being and sustained yourself on some blood bags you were able to nab from donating trucks.

The reason why you didn’t submit yourself to Kun that day was indeed because of his blood. Consumption of his blood made you immune to his influence. He couldn’t have you like he had wanted all along.

Kun had been obsessed with you from the very beginning. When you were discharged from the hospital the time you met him, he continuously stalked you. At college, at the grocery store, at your home...It would explain why he was able to send Sicheng to attack you.

He always knew where you were back then.

Kun commanded Sicheng to bite you then and put you at risk of dying. Kun’s plan was to save you, make you his vampire queen, and control you.

It was a shame he failed to see that his creation of medicinal herbs was the one thing that would lead to his plan’s failure.

You were immune to his commands and you weren’t going to stick around and see how else he would try and “win you over”.

According to your research, in all public records, Kun was now twenty-six. A blatant lie since he couldn’t age. So you wondered how long he would remain in your hometown. You kept a careful eye on your family every now and then. You’ve made some contacts to track your family occasionally, as well.

Kun had stooped low and you prayed he wouldn’t stoop even lower to get you.

You worked hard every day to work on your rapidly growing vampiric abilities. You couldn’t stick around anywhere for too long without arousing suspicion.

Now you weren’t confined to one space anymore.

You were confined to running.

You hoped to one day bring it this madness to an end and take Kun down. Save Sicheng and Kun’s other minions.

And for you to truly be free.

[Fin]

[jeffrrandell]

I'm intrigued by your Balance theory. That little man plagues me. I wonder what everyone's circus sideshow counterparts would of been.

I tried finding it but couldn't if you'd be willing I'd love to know your theory

I’m very flattered that you’re interested in it! I wrote this a little while ago, but hopefully it still makes sense.  (this is like my 5th time trying to post this too ugh) WARNING: very long post!!

Episodes important to the Balance theory-

- In Dreams - episode 49 S1 (mainly speculation)

- Balance - episode 50 S1

- Tales of Madrynia - episode 15 S2 (mainly speculation)

- Clarences Stormy Sleepover - episodes 5-10 S3

- A Nightmare on Aberdale Street: Balances Revenge - episode 26 S3

In Dreams

In this episode, we have Clarence experiencing a Lucid dream, he meets his buddy named Jeremy. Jeremy lives in Clarences head. He is playful and fun, but never wants the fun to end. He did everything in his power to make Clarence not want to wake up and leave him. The dream surrounding Clarence gets out of control and almost seems nightmarish, like a crazy place you cant escape. However Clarence does manage to wake himself up, and promises Jeremy he wouldn't forget him. He left Jeremy.

Balance

Balance is a character who looks to be Clarence but quite opposite from him, and acts that way too. He's a circus act whos main talent is balancing on objects. Supposedly he goes to the school to escape the circus and live a different life, but he appears to be much more than that. He isn't one for making friends with any of the kids, but Clarence being Clarence, of course he tries to. This angers Balance and he grows a distaste for him. He threatens Clarence not being a nosey Nancy or there could be consequences. Balance does this thing where he gets into peoples minds and tells them exactly what they dont want to hear. And by get into their minds, I mean quite literally. He plays this trick on Belson and Clarence comes to defend him.

Next scene, Balance is seen in class carving an apple in the shape of Belsons head. He then proceeds to slice the apple in half, cut to Belsons look of terror. Balance is already aware of their fears, he knows Belson is special to Clarence much like all his friends he talked down to.

Clarence comes up with a plan to try and get Balances intimidating words on tape to show the teachers, and he sets up Belson with a tape recorder. Another mishap occurs and Mr Reese interrupts. The boys give the tape to Mr Reese, believing they caught what Balance had said on tape. To their surprise, somehow all the tape played was Balance singing a tune. They are both confused and baffled, Belson steps away from the situation too freaked out. During class next scene Balance goes to the washroom to shave some stubble. Clarence catches him and runs to the staff room to alert them, but Balance fools him once again, appearing in the room entertaining the teachers. Balance says to Clarence: "how did I what, doc? How did I switch the tapes? How did I know you were gonna come here? Well you see, I've always been here Clarence. And now, I got the teachers eating out of the palm of my hand. I can make you think you're hearing anything I want, even smell anything I want. Listen to me boy, theres the mans world, and theres the spirit world, but you cant handle my world. Little bird, fly away home. Your house is on fire, your children all alone-"

hes cut off by the ringmaster. During his speech however, it shows everyone around him in a hypnotic state. He gets taken away but escapes in the very end. This could all be seen as silly, but I think he really means it. Balance is an entity, an entity out for horror and fear upon others, for that's what he lives off of. He's like a mind demon, abusing his power and controlling what people think and see. I also dont think the invisible circus is even real, hinted at the fact its called "invisible circus"

Tales of Madrynia

This is mainly just extra, but let me explain anyways. This episode is centric on Percy and Clarence. Percy has these imaginary characters he wishes to be real. Clarence has him over that day and has said animals in the garage. Despite them being literal wild animals, Percys imagination takes over. This is where Jeremy and/or Balance comes in. The animals in Percy's head talk about 'the pink one', Clarence. There's a story going along, but at the end of the episode theres a song sequence about them talking about killing 'the pink one'. Percy is so in this little world that he believes hes moving along with them, needle in hand, and marching to kill Clarence with his animal friends. He snaps out of it of course, nothing would've actually happened. But possibly, this was Balance being able to manipulate Percy's imagination into trying to potentially harm Clarence. The reason I mention Jeremy is because if Balance is in Clarences head, he has met Jeremy. (definitely confirmed in later eps) Jeremy has the ability to world build, make believe like a child and could be able to create a daydream. Balance takes this to his advantage.

This whole series of episodes is all a story told by Balance himself. Though the outcome is positive, it still has a lot of fearful aspects. Clarence 'goes missing' causing Mary and Chad to freak out, they get stuck with Jeff who feels as if hes the cause of a power outage AND Clarences disappearance. They go out into the storm to find them. Throughout this, Jeffs starts hallucinating and seeing Clarence talking to him. He kinda drives himself insane. Belson and Mr Reeses story are more about lesson learning, probably because Balance had a real fun time picking out the things Belson was guilty of in his debut episode. Not much of anyone else's story is very easy to tie to the explanation, but in the end Clarence finally gets his sleepover, bonds were made and everyone was fine. People learned and grew.

Clarences Stormy Sleepover

At the very end of Balances story, he goes over to a crib, which was in front of him while he read. Inside the crib reveals Jeremy, who he refers to as 'my child'. It is possible that Jeremy was a set up from Balance from the start, a creation of his.

Balances Revenge

This was the first episode seen where all of these theories took place, really. Clarence has people over on Halloween. He all enters their dreams, which all turn into nightmares. This is all Balances doing. He uses Clarence to enter other peoples dreams and turn them into terrors, a pink goop appearing more than once in disturbing ways in all the dreams.

Each time he gets out of the others dreams, they disappear in what appears to be real life. When theres no one left, he decides he needs to enter his own dreams.  Hes met up with Jeremy. All of Clarences friends are caged up by Balance. Jeremy tries to help Clarence rememeber how to control his dreams. Honestly, probably just a pawn at this point pretending to be friendly towards Clarence in an act to make him stay. When he feels he's ready he attempts to fight Balance, ending up in his capture as well. Clarence, being himself once again, plays by the dream rules and gets them all out of the kerfuffle. In the end Balance gets turned into nothing but pink goop. Does this mean hes gone? Naw dont think so. I think he just got away this time. You cant kill something thats merely an entity

What does this all mean?

Basically, all of this means that Balance is a figment of Clarences imagination, but not quite at the same time for he seems to be very real. He wants to use his power to manipulate and control his friends around him to see and experience horror and fear, causing them distress. All of this causes Clarence distress, for the one thing he cannot stand is his friends being hurt. I think that his dreams will haunt him for a long time, and will haunt others when around him. Like in Tales of Madrynia, I feel that in others dreams they will see Clarence as a monster. Like he did something wrong, or he is the villain. All of their dreams play with their biggest fears. Jeffs possibly being things like failure, guilt, imperfections and uncleanness. Sumos possibly being failing in protecting his friends and them ending up hurt, being met with disappointment and disapproval, and failure. Belsons possibly being criticized and met with the way he treats people, being shown his actions and how they hurt people, hard truths about his personal life and what he'll never gain from the way he acts.

Clarences would be about letting people down, his friends being hurt, being alone, and so on.

Some dreams could contain disturbing imagery or night terror material, scarring them for life. All horrible, but Clarence just has to cope. He feels guilty that hes the cause of his friends nightmares during sleepovers and such. A potential end to this has not crossed my mind yet.

[caramelpopcornandcoke]

TV SERIES #1 Sweet Home (2020) Season 1, Netflix, Korea - Review, Thoughts, Theories for Season 2

TV SERIES #1 Sweet Home (2020) Season 1, Netflix, Korea - Review, Thoughts, Theories for Season 2

Director: Lee Eung Bok (Guardian: The Lonely and Great God, Dream High)

Writers: Kim Kan Bi and Hwang Young Chan (Webtoon), Heung So Ri, Kim Hyung Min, Park So Ri

Casts: Song Kang, Lee Do Hyun, Lee Si Young, Lee Jin Wook, and more.

Genre: drama, apocalyptic, horror, thriller

I remember seeing Sweet Home on some webtoon platform, but I regretted not clicking on it and reading it while it was still available for the public. After it was made the tv series version, the webtoon version is restricted for subscription only, and my broke-student-wallet just can’t afford it for every episode. 

This Korean apocalyptic tv series tells us about monsters, basically, and how they are compared to humanity. It circles around the main character, Hyeon Su (Song Kang), a troubled teenager and other tenants in an apartment building. The characters vary from a greedy and selfish supermarket owner, a disabled ex-military commander, kid siblings who just lost their father, and many more. This variation of characters leads to different opinions about how they should do things to stay alive and survive. Their humanity is at stake, they have to control themselves, or they will turn into monsters.

Sweet Home is kinda bloody and gory, a warning for those who don't like it or can’t watch stuff like these. The human-to-monster transformations, though, are very cool, I think. Especially when Hyeon Su turned into a majestic winged angel monster (spoiler alert). 

There are 10 episodes of Sweet Home, and you can binge-watch it on Netflix. I, myself binge-watched all the episodes for 2 days and 1 night, even brought my phone to the dinner table. 

For you who have watched it, let’s share some thoughts on it. For those of you who haven’t watched it, I think it’s time to part ways for a while, please watch it, and come back to read my post below this. 

Spoiler alert, darling. 

This series left a great impression—also questions—for me. The ending consists of loose threads with tons of probabilities. When I finished binge-watched it, I browsed on the internet about peoples’ thoughts on it. I asked my sister—she already read some episodes of the webtoon—about the ending and she said that some of the storyline are different between the series and webtoon version. This makes even those who already read the webtoon curious about what will happen next after the ending of Season 1. These are some of the question left hanging in the Season 1 of Sweet Home and my thoughts about them:

What happened to the fetus inside Mr. Han Du Sik’s bathroom?

As we all already watched, the mother who had lost a baby, went to the bathroom after she felt she was going to turn into a monster. The next day, Mr. Han found a monster-sized-heart-beating-fetus inside his bathroom. What will happen to that thing? I think it is somehow related to Seo Yi Kyung’s pregnancy. Her husband was gone, and she was desperate to find him, despite keeping the baby alive through the monster-apocalypse. The fetus inside the bathroom could also be the heart of the monsters too, a symbol that the monsters were not all gone, a new start for the monster era. 

Why or how is Mr. Gangster still alive?

This left me speechless when I saw Mr. Gangster drove Hyeon Su inside a car, with blaring sirens as the backsound. I had to pause and replay the scene to observe the man, and it looks like the burn scars on his cheek were gone. Some theories I read say that the fluid-monster-essence used Mr. Gangster’s body as its new host, thus he came back to life. We figure out that the monsters are able to self-heal, but only for the scars that are made after the monster-transformation, right? Remember Hyeon Su’s scars on his arm? He couldn’t heal that because it was made before the transformations. While Mr. Gangster, if he really turned into a monster, why do his burn scars from his childhood are gone? Is he the same Mr. Gangster, or is he someone else?

Where and who is Seo Yi Kyung’s husband?

We don’t have a lot of clues for this one. His husband was said to be experimenting on the monster-transforming chemicals and gone missing. Seo Yi Kyung then joined the military to search for him and find the cure for the monster-outbreaks. 

I think these questions are purposefully left hanging as I already experienced with Kingdom, a Korean zombie historical series on Netflix too (I will write about them too when the Third Season is out, hopefully). They seem to like to make use of the audience's curiosity to keep the series famous. I personally didn’t really mind about it, as long as they have the next seasons prepared. But if the bad thing happened and they wouldn’t or couldn’t release the next seasons, I bet many audiences would be very disappointed. Let’s just hope they already have the next season and will release it soon! 

Overall, I think this series is great and very worth-watching, the fighting scenes between human and monsters (also human and human, because some of them are worst than monsters) are thrilling, but beware of the bloody stuff, though. 

I guess this is for now. Please tell me your thoughts about this series, Sweet Home!

See you on the next review!

- Pin

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2021 Reading Challenge - Book 3 of 26

Title: Acceptance (The Southern Reach #3) (2014) - REREAD

Author: Jeff VanderMeer

Genre/Tags: Horror, Science Fiction, Ecological Horror, Cosmic Horror, Weird, First-Person, Second-Person, Third-Person, Unreliable Narrator, Female Protagonists, LGBT Protagonist

Rating: 10/10

Date Began: 1/11/2021

Date Finished: 1/20/2021

Area X, a self-aware wilderness along the coast, has existed for decades behind a mysterious border. The landscape itself annihilates humans and repurposes them for its own ends. Hundreds of people have died attempting to uncover its secrets. But no one has yet discovered its origins or true purpose.

Now, Area X has spread past its former borders, perhaps to the entire world. Acceptance follows several key figures through the history of Area X, and their attempts to fight against an impossible threat.  

You feel numb and you feel broken, but there’s a strange relief mixed in with the regret: to come such a long way, to come to a halt here, without knowing how it will turn out, and yet... to rest. To come to rest. Finally. All your plans back at the Southern Reach, the agonizing and constant fear of failure or worse, the price of that... all of it leaking out into the sand beside you in gritty red pearls. 

Full review, major spoilers, and content warning(s) under the cut.

Content warnings for the book: Extreme body horror, altered states of mind, and psychological manipulation, including hypnosis. Several characters lose their sanity, and you see it happen in real time from their perspective. Intentional self-harm/mutilation as a plot point. Some violence and gore. There are brief references to animal abuse and terminal cancer. Not many happy endings in this one.  

This review contains major series spoilers. It’s also super long, as the book covers a lot of material. 

Acceptance is the most narratively ambitious book in the Southern Reach trilogy. While Annihilation and Authority feature a single protagonist/perspective, this one has four rotating POVs and one guest narrator partway through the book. It also covers a broader timeline than previous entries, from the origins of Area X 30-ish years ago to the ongoing present-day apocalypse. Acceptance is one of the few books I've read that utilizes first-, second-, AND third-person narration in a single volume, adopting whichever one makes the most sense for the character and their situation

While this sounds complicated, it's basically just a way to tell four different stories at the same time. VanderMeer also uses each storyline to address the major questions of the series. How did Area X come to be? What happened to the biologist? What was the former director of the Southern Reach trying to accomplish? And perhaps most pressing-- what is the fate of the world now that Area X has spread? Not everything is resolved, but it's definitely a conclusion.

The stories have some unifying connections, containing similar themes and callbacks/references to each other. However, for the purposes of this review I will be looking at each story and protagonist individually.

First up is Saul Evans the lighthouse keeper. He's been mentioned before, but never in much detail. Going in, we know a few things-- (1) he knew the director/Cynthia when she was a child and (2) something happened to him that turned him into the Crawler, the eldritch creature which writes the sermon on the walls of the tower in Area X. In Acceptance, we learn he's a former preacher who had a crisis of faith and left his old life, taking up the role of lighthouse keeper on the forgotten coast. It's implied this is partially due to him realizing he's gay and fleeing the resulting homophobic fallout. His past vocation explains the elevated, sermonic language of the words in the tower.

From the onset Saul is an intensely likeable character. He's trying to build a happier and more genuine life for himself. This part probably takes place during the 70s or 80s, but he's cautiously optimistic about his new life with a local fisherman named Charlie. He also forms an unlikely friendship with Gloria (aka Cynthia), a local kid who loves exploring the coast. However, he is tormented by the "Séance and Science Brigade", a shady organization that investigates/worships(?) paranormal phenomena. They sabotage the lighthouse beacon, which we learned in Authority is a marvelous piece of technology with a mysterious history. Shortly after, Saul accidentally absorbs a fragment of the beacon into himself, and shit goes downhill real fast.

While the catalyst of Area X may seem a little weird, the reader can piece together that part of the beacon has extraterrestrial origins, and Saul unintentionally activates part of it. The gradual shift from a normal life to something deeply unsettling has its appeal. I especially like seeing his logs/journal entries and how they devolve as proto-Area X overtakes his mind. The disturbing bar scene near the end is great as well. We know going in that this story has a bad ending (from a human perspective), but learning specifics about Saul as a person gives this more impact. Saul's is a sad tale of a man who wants to make a better life for himself and gets screwed over by bad luck.

Cynthia/Gloria/the former director is the next perspective character. In Annihilation she serves as the antagonist, but in Authority we learn it isn't that simple. She had ulterior motives, handpicking the biologist for the expedition in order to use her as a weapon against Area X. And, of course, we learn she was the little girl in that old picture of Saul, which means she probably grew up there before the border came down. 

This part opens with Cynthia/Gloria's death as "the psychologist" in Annihilation, but told from her perspective. From there, the pacing is a little slow, in similar style to Authority. We learn how Cynthia lived her daily life, how she infiltrated the Southern Reach, and her interpersonal relationships with Grace, Whitby, and Lowry. However, her storyline ramps up when detailing Area X and the lead up to twelfth expedition. Lots of old scenes/dynamics from Annihilation hit different with the new context. Especially interesting is the interview between Cynthia and the biologist; turns out there was a lot more context that the biologist obscured in her story. On some level we already knew she was an unreliable narrator, but it's fun to have it pop up again in a different book entirely.

I admire how VanderMeer makes someone who comes off as a throwaway villain into the one of the most complex, important characters in the series. This part is also really cool as it's written in second-person perspective, and the story justification for this (Area X examining her memories) is neat. While I like Cynthia's characterization in this part, the additional bits in Saul's story and his interactions with Gloria add helpful context and emotional impact. The end of the book being her letter to Saul is so damn sad.

The third main storyline follows Control and Ghost Bird in the "current" timeline-- exploring Area X in the immediate fallout of Authority. I love this part for several reasons. The contrast between the two leads and how they perceive themselves, Area X, and the current situation is great. Control is very much losing control, feeling "the brightness" taking over (a callback to Annihilation). Meanwhile, Ghost Bird is in her element, seeing and experiencing things the regular human characters do not. There's the sense that she's truly something "new" in terms of both humanity and Area X.

We also learn a ton of stuff about Area X that is hinted in earlier volumes but confirmed in Acceptance. (MAJOR SPOILERS) The first is that Area X isn't on Earth at all; something briefly hinted at in Annihilation, when the biologist doesn't recognize the stars in the sky.  Instead it mimics Earth, or something representative of it. The second big thing is that time works differently here. The uncanny state of decay noted in earlier books isn't actually a direct result of Area X. It's just the passage of time, because way more time passes in Area X compared to the "real" world.

The guest narrator/story is told within the Control/Ghost Bird storyline. The two meet up with Grace, who has managed to survive the Area X attack on the Southern Reach. She took shelter on the mysterious northern island and discovered an old journal written by... the biologist from Annihilation, which details what happened to her over the last THIRTY YEARS (yeah, the time thing) until she finally decided to give into Area X.

This section is sobering and sad; basically a glimpse at how the biologist's isolation slowly made her go mad. She finds an owl (hello cover) that she believes is her husband post Area X conversion and the two live together for decades. When it dies, the biologist loses the will to keep fighting Area X. It's ambiguous if the owl really is her husband, or if she's just projecting, but her heartbreak at the end is probably the strongest emotion she shows in the series. But what is interesting about this part is it confirms a cool detail. Injury and pain can halt the progression of "the brightness" within someone. Which is how the biologist managed to survive 30 years, how Grace survived what turns out to be 3 years, and so on. Even more interesting, when someone DOES finally succumb after warding off the brightness this way, they turn into something more strange and alien. Hence the moaning creature, and Saul/the Crawler. It's also probably why some creatures have incongruencies, like the dolphins with human eyes.

The biologist? She transformed into a giant, oceanic eldritch abomination COVERED in eyes. Just primo aesthetic. We get to see her from both Ghost Bird and Control's perspectives. Ghost Bird feels solidarity and a sort of euphoria meeting her alternate self. Control... basically breaks in the face of something like that, full cosmic horror style. Again, the contrast here is really appealing to me.

Both of their story arcs end in a way that is narratively satisfying, though the ending is open. The future seems hopeful in a bittersweet way, but presumably Area X has destroyed humanity as we know it. Whether that's a good or bad thing depends on your perspective and is a central thesis of the series.

So, I said I'd discuss how this series approaches aliens. While there's an appeal to anthropomorphic alien species one can talk to and communicate with, I think an "unknowable" perspective is more realistic. After all, who's to say alien life formed under similar conditions or has any resemblance to our own? The extraterrestrial element in The Southern Reach is very much this type. But it's a fine line to walk in fiction, because handwaving the weird alien stuff as impossible to comprehend (and thus conveniently ducking any responsibility for explaining it) is lazy writing when done wrong.

The thing I find interesting about this series is the human characters understand lots of the what of the alien elements, but not the why. For example, Area X transforms humans into various plants and animals. We know it instills a sense of "brightness" in humans exposed for too long, which encourages assimilation into itself. Humans infected in this way, even if horrified or resistant, have thoughts of this being inevitable, even a good thing. The biologist takes samples in Annihilation and finds several plants and animals have human cells. Control logically knows what Area X does to people, but he is ultimately helpless to resist the process when he experiences it firsthand.

As for the why of it all... we don't really know! There's multiple ideas presented throughout the story. Ghost Bird probably gets closest to the "truth"; that Area X is part of a machine organism from a dead alien civilization, and that it has a bizarre effect on Earth's biology based on its now defunct programming. Other worlds would have their own Area Xes based on this idea, as it's implied the Earth version is just one piece of many. But it's worth noting that Ghost Bird is a creation of Area X and sees things differently than the other characters. Unreliable narration is ironically consistent through the series. So it's hard to say if this is true or not; perhaps it's silly to think any explanation would be understandable to a human mind. Obsession with finding the answer is a recurring theme that drives characters insane. I think this is an interesting compromise when discussing the unknowable; to have some facts and theories but not necessarily a concrete answer. 

If I have a criticism for this book, it's the role of the "Séance and Science Brigade", especially in Saul's storyline. While they're set up earlier in the series, we only really see them in this book. Our limited perspective via Saul leaves a lot of ambiguity as to their purpose, function, and goals. There's an implication that Control's family influenced the organization's decision to sabotage the beacon and create Area X. But I consider the subplot with Control's mom/grandfather to be one of the weaker ones in the series, and this book didn't help. The S&SB comes off as campy and ineffectual, which is perhaps intentional? But since they're narratively the fanatics who caused Area X to happen, I really wish they felt more sinister and impactful. There's some attempt to make them scary, but it's not very convincing when compared to Area X. Kind of like a Saturday morning cartoon villain vs the unknowable cosmic horror of the universe. This is a nitpick, though.

While rereading the series, I discovered there's a planned fourth book which may or may not star a minor character from Saul's story. I'm interested to see what else there is to explore about Area X and the Southern Reach. As it stands, I still really like this series. Between the horror and general weirdness, it's not for everyone, but it sure does appeal to me. I think this is one of those series that you'll either adore or hate. Obviously I recommend it.

[sn0tcl0wn]

rant incoming (don't worry it's not me being mad, i'm just really hype about a book i'm rereading):

i'm genuinely shocked there's never been an uptick in interest in storm thief by chris wooding on this site. like of all places. it's a gothic dystopian YA novel with cyber and dieselpunk vibes with its main characters being a black disabled boy and a girl with chronic illness who live in the ghettos of a society that's built on greed and the bodies of people like them. there's a resistance and the fall of two civilisations. there's also a morally gray monster man. it's a book that's been living rent free in my mind since 2006. i'm currently rereading it as i do every so often and not only is it beautifully written and still holds up but the premise alone seems like the exact thing people would put on lists of diverse dystopian YA fiction or unique books for people who like dystopian fiction, steam/cyber/dieselpunk, gothic sci-fi, or eldritch horror. it has all of those aspects and i think a lot of people are missing out. it's also only one book and it's not too long meaning there's less commitment for people who don't want to read a whole series or start a series and never finish it (i hate doing that and yet i always do).

it's on my list of books i always wished there was an active fandom for because it's honestly one of the coolest fucking book i ever read growing up and much of the imagery it paints and it's story still inspire me to this day. it's at the top of my list of books i'd adapt if i had the chance and something i think people should give a shot. please read storm thief if you get a chance.

also kinda spoiler alert but also everything i'm saying next is either obvious early on (in a good story telling way, not lazy writing way) or straight up on the back of the book;

if y'all do read this book and i end up getting any messages from people whining about the cishetness of the characters i will scream because interracial friendship and love is just as revolutionary as trans and gay friendship and love. like the last time i suggested it to a group of people they complained about it "being basic YA" and "making the straight boy and girl fall in love" and to this day i'm still tight about that shit. like first of all it's obvious from the second they're introduced that they have little crushes on each other and their chemistry is really sweet and natural. it's a good m/f couple and one of the few genuinely sweet and healthy ones i read in YA fiction as a kid (ig you can argue codependency but they're just trying to keep the other one alive). second of all (and more importantly) until this book i had NEVER read a book with a black kid with dreadlocks from the ghetto being the hero of a sci-fi novel let alone being the dude on the cover AND getting the girl even though she's white. like ????? that was a Life Changing Experience for me and if you can't see why i really cannot trust you.

until i was 11 i only read about characters like me and the kids i grew up with in the hood in realistic fiction about being poor and black and sad all the time. this was the first teen novel i remember picking up about a black boy that didn't involve drive by shootings and the kind of racism i already saw and experienced every day. he was out there running from monsters and dodging eldritch storms while uncovering the ancient secrets of a chaos ridden society all while needing a respirator to breathe and wearing a dope gasmask fit. his name isn't some stereotypical "black" name, it's rail which is weird but i always thought that was cool as fuck. he's a character that if he wasn't described as "dark skinned and dreadlocked" in his intro, people would just up and assume he's white because you know why. his blackness is not his character, it's just a trait and he's treated like any other teenage orphan thief archetype only he's way fucking cooler because he has a gas mask and a dope ass artifact.

i will not tolerate any rail or rail/moa slander. he's a bad ass mother fucker and she's an equally bad ass secondary protag who's parents were rebels against the unjust political and economic powers at be and follow in their footsteps. she's also a very active participant in the story even though she could easily have been nothing more than a helpless damsel due to her waifish and sickly presence.

their friends to more arc is a part of the story's progression and their character growth, it is not the main plot point and i'm only spoiling that explicitly because if y'all really don't want to read a story with a m/f couple you can avoid this. but i will say that if you are among the shockingly common many who will straight up tune out when a guy and girl fall in love i really do think you have issues. like i get when it's forced in a really obnoxious way but a lot of y'all will read absolute garbage just because it's gay rep and then sleep on shit like this or other really cool books like hold me closer necromancer (completely different topic but i will rant about that next cause it's my next reread). it's sad to me y'all actively choose to miss out on cool shit because you apparently hate straight people so much that it will completely ruin something that's unique in every other way.

and again, highkey sick of people writing off m/f interracial couples as if the idea of black men being with white women isn't still demonized irl and rare in the media. this book was for kids, written in the mid 00s, and it managed to do what most mainstream media still rarely ever does.

[samcaarter]

radicaldreamer017 replied to your post “tvshowsaremylife: samcaarter: tvshowsaremylife replied to your...”

About Sam/Teal’c... I don’t believe it was scripted. I remember hearing it was AT and CJ’s idea to play their last scene « as if S/T happened ». So it’s more subtext added by the actors than a choice made by the writers. I have mixed feelings on S/T. But I would understand how it could happen. 50 years of loneliness, grief for what she lost (Jack, Cassie), guilt... and Teal’c was lonely too and probably the one who understood her feelings the most. And S/T probably happened late anyway.

Sam probably never stopped loving and missing Jack but she was old and lonely and Teal’c was there, understanding... and lonely too. My personal issue is that I liked that Sam’s relationships with the guys in SG1 were loving YET platonic. Jack was the only love interest and it was fine. The team was never ruined with love triangle drama. Plus Sam got enough admirers outside the team.

Suddenly having the platonic and loving sibling bond between S/T to turn into a romance at the last minute... like, I understand how it could happen in context but it introduces love triangle drama within SG1 and it’s sad. Sadder even that Teal’c is the only one who remembers those years and can’t share what he experienced. If he still feels something for Sam, he’ll have to move on or accept she’ll never return his feelings with Jack (back) in her life. It’s sad and unfair to Teal’c.

If Jack didn’t exist, if there was no s/j love (developed through the series), if S/T had been teased instead for years... I think Sam/Teal’c could have been a nice ship to root for. They have a really sweet friendship. But I loved it as close friendship (little sis/big bro) for years and nothing else. Because I ship s/j, because romantic s/t never crossed my mind when I watched the show and because i loved that the team wasn’t a sad love triangle drama.

Teal'c was married with a kid

the episode is really unfair to Teal'c. He lives 50 years in isolation, with only 5 other people, that's... tough to say the least, no matter how much they care for each other. Ohhh, Unending that turns into a psychological horror story because after 30 years of being stuck there, thinking they're never going back, they begin to resent each other and things start to turn ugly, imagine that. But I digress, he ages 50 years, that's 50 years that he'll never get back, 50 fewer years that he'll get to spend with his kids and likely their kids, and his friends. And he knows things about his friends that he can never tell them or talk about with them. And if he and Sam turned to each other for comfort, I really doubt it was because of genuine romantic feelings, still if it happened, it could potentially make him distance himself from Sam and Jack once everything's back to normal, two of his closest friends, his brother and sister basically. Yeah, no

Jack should’ve been there in the first place so there would be no hints or subtext or anything. But Landry is there instead

what was Jack doing that was so important that he couldn’t go and frakking talk them out of it because it’s a fantastically bad idea say goodbye to Thor?

I get that they for some reason couldn’t have RDA (why did he need to be on SGA instead of his show?), but what is in universe explanation for Jack O’Neill not being there?