#the sense of self-importance is astonishing

[alicepao13]

More and more people on the internet fail to understand that just because we have an argument, I don't hate you, I don't wish ill of you, and if we never talked aside from this instance, after the argument we go our separate ways and I pretty much will forget your username the next day. Children.

[etheries1015]

(In Lilias dream) General Lilia X reader : Hidden pregnancy

General warnings: The reader mentioned being pregnant, but no pronouns are used. Situationship described, mention of heat...honestly, just a shitty scenario I half-baked when day-dreaming at work the other day. really self-indulgent and not my best work, but ima share it anyway. Cause'. I like the idea, even if I can't execute it very well. HAHAHA

"You" general Lilia pointed during the dream, startling you as you ate peacefully at the food you 'humans' had so kindly put together for the fae army. You looked up curiously and tilted your head, heart pounding in your chest at the sight of the beautiful man you had known to be important to you.

"You're pregnant. With a fae child, nonetheless." He said bluntly. The suddenness of his comment left your heart drop into the pit of your stomach, and you were immediately alarmed. With a loss of appetite and eyes wavering, you threw a panicked glance at Sebek and Silver; both who were staring at you with wide eyes and spoons halfway out their mouths.

You hadn't a clue that fae were able to tell such things. Questions swirled around your mind all at once: Did Lilia in reality realize this? or perhaps his magic and senses dwindled so much he hadn't taken much notice? What are you to say in response? However, there were more pressing issues to think of at the moment. And that was the way the two boys rushed to your side in shock, Silver grabbing your hands and looking you in the eyes earnestly.

"You...you're what..?" The silver-haired boy peered into your eyes with concern, "You're...pregnant? Is it...is it his?" You pursed your lips and held back tears that threatened to pour out of your melancholy orbs and your hands trembled with fear. You gave a nod in response. You could feel the gaze and judgment of the fae surrounding you, including Sebek, who knew well enough to hold his tongue at this moment where you seemed to be at the edge of a breakdown. Bauer, his grandfather, on the other hand, scoffed in almost disbelief at the mere notion a fae would copulate with a human. Such were the times in the dream that Lilia was having, however, you felt no true judgment wafting off of the long-haired general.

"Yeah. It's his. But...he wanted to leave and I ...need to go home. I can't.. I mean, I want to stay, with him, but I know that he is losing his magic and he wants to go to a faraway land, and I...I don't want to hold him back from doing what he wants. Besides, he believes he's too old to start parenting all over again, I just-"

You started going off on a nervous tangent, vomiting every word and excuse that came to your mind. Bauer made a snide and astonished comment about the situation, Sebek following suit not without a piercing glare from Lilia and a sneer of dissatisfaction. Uncertain how to proceed, Lilia moved past Silver and placed an uncertain and awkward hand on top of your head in an attempt to console you.

"Fae are eternally loyal to one mate. If your fae lover is noble and virtuous, he will not abandon you. Speak to him, perhaps there's a misunderstanding." You almost winced at the word "lover," for could you really classify your relationship with him as such? Of course, there were times of flirtiness, but you two felt comfortable in each other's presence (clearly). Yet...Lilia Vanrouge is a very mysterious man who worked in ways that will forever be unfathomable to you. He kept his relationships at arm's length, and you were not far behind. You just so happen to be there at the time of his heat, the instincts of two bodies craving affection indulging in primitive actions. So...what he felt about your...relationship...was beyond you.

General Lilia averted his rosey gaze from your own trembling orbs, your lips pursed and embarrassingly staring at the ground unable to make eye contact with the others.

He would have insisted you stay behind in your state, however felt compelled to bring you with him under the guise that he would better be able to keep a watchful eye on you in case this was some sort of ploy to induce some sort of surprise attack. However, it was obvious to any onlooker the way he tended to your needs, protect you from harms way, and at random inquired of your state. The rest of the army that followed him was in awe seeing their general practically 'dote' (for lack thereof better terms) on this random human who was impregnated, to their knowledge, by some other fae.

You wanted to hold on to the belief that he subconsciously knew the truth, even in this dream world, the Lilia you had come to love was attentively paying attention to your fragile state at all times.

And...somehow you knew that it would be alright.

[eldritch-spouse]

Any of your demon OC’s reaction to being summoned but the magic feels powerful so when they get there they expect maybe a collection of wizards but instead it is a very drunk person(reader) who seems very confused but also isn’t against having this very attractive demon in their house.

[I mean, at this rate you could just summon an Icon. But let's not go there yet. Why not Vorago?]

The difference between Vorago and many other demons is that, most of the time, he's ready to be summoned. As the firstborn of Queen Vorticia, he has to be available for a myriad of public contact and more nitty-gritty transactions that his Mother is all too happy to distribute between her many children. The eldest takes on even more work than necessary, purely to train himself for the future, wherein he may rule Gluttony.

So, when Vorago senses a rift opening with a request for him, the royal glutton merely brushes his outfit, adjusts his mane, and stands appropriately, waiting to be transported. It's no shock to him that a rather surprising amount of magic is used during these instances, you do not simply summon a royal without obtaining much training in the field, or on your own for that matter. While the process takes place, Vorago searches his head for who this might be. The blood signature utilized doesn't ring any bells, so it might be a first contact summoning. Giving a good impression is more important than ever if that truly is the case.

Vorago steps into the rift with an adequately serious expression and a hand behind his back, expecting some kind of fanfare or overzealous greeting.

There are few words to describe his confusion at the sight that greets him. Astonishing, really, as he considers himself verbose.

The prince finds himself in a rather homely, completely informal setting. Someone's house, he deduces, given the smells present, the well-worn furniture. No group, no organization, no sect, not even a pair is there to receive him, only one human.

He sniffs.

One very intoxicated human.

He can only wonder what's happening to you, where you hail from. How you've gotten to this point.

The glutton stares hard at you. Something that another summoner may find rude of him, but you're hardly composed enough to notice. There's no incredible, burning desire within you. You don't stink of desperation and madness, you aren't covered in sin.

You're just a human woman, meddling with what most definitely doesn't concern someone like you.

" ... O- " You finally seem to notice there's someone else in the room. " Oh? "

" Oh. " Vorago parrots, feeling a brand new crease form on his forehead.

Silent moments pass.

You really should blink more, he assumes your eyes are losing moisture from the moments where you stare at him blankly, like a donkey.

" I suppose, when you're sober, you'll gather the wits to grovel... "

Vorago isn't particularly cruel, but he'd be a bad example if he allowed summoners to think they can get away with this type of behavior. To summon a demon of royalty while entirely shitfaced is to cause great offense to said royal lineage. It can warrant more than death, it could set curses upon your loved ones. Vorago understands mistakes happen, but humans of all people, are too frail to afford these grievous acts of buffoonery.

So he needs to cause a healthy amount of panic in you, which he will, when you become sober.

" Hhmn? " You sluggishly tilt your head.

The firstborn takes a few steps forward on the borderline nonexistent circle you've thrown together on the ground. It's more of a misshapen oval, with not a tenth of the power you'd require to keep him properly contained. Really, Vorago could blow it away with a sigh.

He squats, using his hands to gesture and speaking slowly, the same tactics he'd use to make his toddler-aged siblings pay attention.

" Human. Listen closely. " No self-respecting prince would be stooping this low. " Now that you have made the mistake of summoning me, we need to establish a formal deal, so that I can leave. "

You don't offer much of a reaction for a while. Vorago sincerely wants to slap the back of your head. Though he imagines you'd tumble face first in a graceless display of alcoholism.

He can only tense hard when you spread your arms and latch onto his shoulders, running clumsy hands through his thick hair.

" Hahah... Hah. You're sooo cute. You should stick around. "

You're so fucking wasted.

The glutton is speechless, face darkening. He allows himself to feel this for a few seconds, ideas suddenly swirling in his head while an admittedly pretty human plays with his hair. The large demonoid shivers slightly. You'd look even better if you weren't so visibly drunk. For as much as he craves and writes about this type of contact between monster (demon) and human, he's never had the pleasure of experiencing it firsthand.

A small eternity passes before he forces himself to pry your small -Delicate, so fragile, so soft- hands away and rises.

" Any suggestions, summoner? " His tail swishes.

A grin tries to settle on your cheeks, it's struggling. " You. Me. The couch. "

Vorago has to run a hand down his complexion and breathe in deep. Oh trust him, that couch wouldn't survive. Still, this is no way to try his hand at charming a beautiful person.

" No. " He chastises. " I have a proposal. Do you read, human? "

This could backfire very hard. He knows this.

" Ehh, yeah, I guess. " You shrug. " Sometimes. When my favorite authors upload. "

Upload. The top eye in Vorago's head widens, his hope shining clearly.

" Then let's do the following. I provide you with written works, and, in turn, you act as a proof-reader, letting me know what I could adjust. "

Particularly how accurate his portrayal of humans and the opposite gender is.

" You write?! "

He almost feels offended that you're so surprised. " Yes. "

" Fuck yeah! "

He chuckles purely from how ridiculous this is getting.

Vorago nods, using a foot to disrupt the summoning circle and leaning down with an outstretched hand, the other reaching for a vial on his coat pocket.

" Brilliant. Allow me to collect your blood signature then. " Because you're too shitfaced to sign anything, he presumes. " You will be contacted so we can schedule our first meeting. "

Well, he thinks happily, no one can accuse him of having no references now.

[neuropoppins]

How people can still not think that gender being put into law and replacing sex doesn't affect your lives is astonishing. Our rights are based on sex based rights - so removing sex from law and replacing it with Self ID Gender Identities invalidates and removes sex based laws and protections. Who fought for these sex based protections? It was women! Why? Because we need them! We need safe spaces where we can undress and be vulnerable without being assaulted, we need to be able to choose a fellow female to do intimate care for us when we need it - like in a hospital, having a cervical smear, in a rape crisis center choosing a rape counsellor, choosing a sexual partner, joining a support group or dating group. Gender being put into law and replacing sex is meaning women are being criminalised for asking for sex based accommodations (you know, the ones we fought for for decades and rightly won and shouldn't have to politely be asking for AGAIN). Did you know a rape survivor got told she is not welcome in the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre because when she asked who her rape counsellor would be they gave a male name. The rape counsellor is actually female, as in biologically female, but identifies as non-binary and had their name changed to a male name. Of course the rape victim was concerned and asked if the rape counsellor was a man or a woman - she was assured that only "women" are at the centre. So she questioned the SEX of the rape counsellor (I mean, they had a male name so of course it was going to be questioned) and she was told that she was being a bigot and was thereby not welcome at the centre. A worker in the ERCC questioned how to handle this situation and was put under a disgusting disciplinary procedure, bullied, called a transphobic bigot and hounded out of her job position - for asking important questions on behalf of the rape survivors coming to the centre!

This is just one of so many stories of how women's lives are affected by this and how society is criminalising people who don't conform to the new laws that we must be bigots if we care about sex. This affects everyone whether you realise it or not, there will come a time when the crossover of sex v gender smacks you in the face and you are left in the position that many people, especially women, are currently facing in their lives now.

Perhaps your elderly grandma has gone into a care home - will she be a bigot if she asks for a female carer to bathe her? What if she turns to you and asks you to help advocate for her in the care home? What position will you choose? Will you say biological sex matters to your grandma or will you tell your grandma to stop being a bigot and let the male nurse bathe her against her wishes and instincts?

Is your friend a lesbian and being coerced into accepting males as lesbians and being told her same-sex attraction is outdated and phobic?

Maybe you have an autistic child who is confused in school and is asking you questions about male and female and how to tell the difference. Will you tell them there are no differences? Or that the differences are bigoted? Will you tell these "little white lies" knowing that they might believe it to be literal fact and not understand there is a difference and that this is politics, not science.

Or maybe you've been telling this lie about sex and gender for so long your child believes they are literally the opposite sex if they declare themselves so, and that the world believes this too - only to grow up in a world where reality is actually quite different. They are met with common sense and a changing societal attitude which contrasts with what you've told them. They find out that sex and gender are not the same thing and that sex does matter to people and people have been telling "little white lies" to them this whole time and now they feel like an idiot. But it's too late, they've joined the lie and have been shouting it from the rooftops, declaring people bigots! They're in too deep.

A life setup based on a temporary societal dishonesty cloaked as truth, when in reality it is cowardice and ignorance. We're setting up generations of people to feel "unnacepted", "oppressed", "born wrong" and that the world is against them and hateful. We're setting ppl up to feel they must be evil if they acknowledge sex differences and understand that sex is binary and immutable.

Not to mention how it affects how you are allowed to talk about yourself, your life, others, the world around you. Changes the language you can use and how people will perceive you depending on the language you use. Restricts how you interact with others, in a workplace, school, social settings, medical settings. Affects how you type out a Facebook status or a comment on a thread. Who you follow or click "unfollow". How you learn to judge others and be judged yourself. How we set up societal norms, belief systems and indoctrination. How we treat those who dissent. Who we distance ourselves from, who we smile and nod at whilst feeling differently inside, who we fear and who we've lost. So much has been affected.

Where do you draw the line? Because we do all know where the line is - we just don't say it aloud because we don't want to offend or look like a "bigot". But that line is there, clear as day! You know it, I know it, we all know it. Stop being so afraid of how people may wrongly view you if you say the most ordinary thing in the world: sex matters.

[hms-no-fun]

a little late asking you a question but do you have some favourite books to share? and why they are your favourite? like such as how did they influence your way of thinking, your relationship with art, your way of writing, &c.

i've gotten a few asks about books/writing that influenced me and this is the most open-ended one, so, congratulations on winning that lottery anon.

the book that most recently affected me is The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K. Le Guin. it's about a representative from an intergalactic alliance of worlds embedding within and learning about the culture of a previously uncontacted civilization, to try to get them to join. but really, it's about observing the sociological particulars of a human culture where everyone is functionally intersex, and sort of swap male/female gender roles during the time period when they're (for lack of the term actually used in the book that i can't remember) "in heat". it's an astonishing work of science fiction that is every bit as good as its reputation suggests. i had a hard time getting into the first 20-30 pages, but once it really digs into the particulars of "shifgrethor" (this culture's all-important sense of decorum and near-invisible communication that the protagonist struggles to understand til the end) i was hooked. i love fictional social systems. i'm a homestuck, i can't help it. there's a profound materialism in how Le Guin observes this culture into being that unlocked something in me. i'll be thinking about the journey across the ice for the rest of my life.

i was also very inspired by This Is How You Lose The Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone, perhaps the most pure distillation of the feminine desire to hatefuck your rival into an ascendant beacon of cosmic revolution yet put to the page. much of how they write about time travel has made it into godfeels, not to mention the wildly extravagant and brief but numerous visions of absolutely batshit speculative alt-history tableau. i mean, the way they talk about Atlantis as this sort of annoying constant of the timeline, sometimes real and sometimes fake depending on the strand, definitely casts a shadow over the metaphysics explored in Chapter 8.

the other book i always recommend alongside Time War, because i read them at the same time while i was in the middle of production on Chapter 8 in 2021, is There Is No Antimemetics Division by qntm. anyone who's read it or knows about it can immediately spot the gargantuan influences it's had on Silverbark's narrative in Chapter 8 and especially in Double Album. if you're not aware, Antimemetics Division is a standalone SCP novel about a branch of the Foundation dedicated to studying & intercepting the phenomenon of antimemes, ideas & entities that defy our ability to remember them in various ways. think The Silence in Matt Smith's second season of Doctor Who, or the Void Fish in the Balance arc of The Adventure Zone. i'm not an SCP person at all, i think i've read maybe half a dozen other SCP entries, so i'm not totally full of it when i say this book stands very tall on its own two legs. i very much intend to take a closer look at it in detail down the road because i think, whether intentional or not, the main "villain" of Antimemetics Division operates as a very handy analogue for the socio/psycho-logical effects of the profit motive on individuals & on society at large. also: Marion Wheeler is so fucking good. i did not know she existed when i came up with Silverbark but you bet your ass it's an influence now.

a non-fiction book that's had an outsized influence on me is Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert Pirsig. i always feel self conscious about bringing this one up because it sounds like a self-help book or some kind of Chicken Soup for the Soul ass grifter textbook. that absolutely could not be farther from reality. ZAMM was written in the 60s and it's a semi-autobiographical philosophy of metaphysics text by a professor of rhetoric who some years ago underwent electroshock therapy after a destructive manic phase. it follows Pirsig on a motorcycle trip across the American west with his son and some college friends, as he tries to uncover the ideas that drove his past self (who he characterizes as a different person that he calls Phaedrus) off the wall. those ideas concern the nature of "quality" and how we perceive it. as in, why should we Know that a good painting is "good" within seconds of examining it, in the same manner that we know a stove is hot almost before we've even touched it? he digs deep into how we conceptualize the split between objectivity and subjectivity, and posits that understanding Quality requires a substantial re-evaluation of our base assumptions about human perception. of course there's SO much more to it than that, it's a beautiful and strange book that succeeds in part because its philosophy is deeply couched within the metaphor of a road trip, making it a lot more accessible than an otherwise straightforward metaphysics text. i read it in an honor's philosophy class full of incurious Christians at age 22, and that was absolutely the perfect time for it.

another non-fiction entry would be Acceptable Men by communist labor agitator Noel Ignatiev. it's a memoir about his time working at Gary Steel Works in the 70s, at the time the largest steel works factory in the world. it relates in very simple terms how racism sabotaged the USAmerican labor movement through anecdotes from his workplace. it's important, i think, for those of us dreaming of & pushing for a more equitable world to stare long and hard at struggles past and not lose their most valuable lessons in our desire to simply have it be true that unions are good. they are good but they're not everything, and in fact they're just as capable of systemic dysfunction and capitulation to capitalist white supremacy as any other organization of human beings.

what else? i started reading The Traitor Baru Cormorant and much enjoyed its early pages, but holy shit that's one long book in a series of long books. people are telling me to read Exordia so i might give that a shot. i've got Gretchen Felker-Martin's Manhunt as well as May Leitz's Girlflesh on my desk, just waiting for the day i'm psychologically prepared to be ravaged by transfem body horror. i keep picking away at China Mieville's October, i'm sure one of these days i'll just sit down and power through it. of course i recommend everyone check out Lenin's State and Revolution, great book from the original poster, absolutely still relevant more than a hundred years later. and much easier to read than you might expect! no one ever talks about how entertaining he is as a writer, unless you hang out with communists in which case you're probably sick of us never shutting up about it.

i hope there's some good stuff in there, and not too much that i've written about before. i really need to make myself read more, but then again who doesn't?

[halogenwarrior]

Well I finally finished reading all of the Animorphs books (getting into them now as an adult) and I found them really interesting in terms of themes that they used the sci-fi premises to explore. Everyone talks about how they explore the trauma of war, but I thought something else very fascinating that they do (and which is connected to said exploration of war and the morality thereof) is how they use both the existence of aliens of different types and the ability of morph to interrogate the assumptions humans typically make to justify the lives of non-human animals being morally less significant than those of humans. In total, this series can be seen as an exploration of how to find moral understanding and purpose in life in a world where humans are not the only part of one’s vision of the world, but a wide variety of species with different experiences, all shaped by natural selection. 

Note: the Animorphs series has an annoying habit of not using the term “sentient” as what it correctly means, it’s supposed to mean any being with a conscious, lived experience, with sapience being the term used for being capable of things like language, complex rational thought, etc. and generally being seen as “people”. So I will be using the terms in that way throughout this post.

In general, there are three arguments or assumptions that usually play into the belief in humans’ greater importance:

Superiority of lived experience

This is the often unspoken assumption that there is more inherent value, however one defines it, in the very experience of living for a human than any non-human animal, perhaps in the richness of emotion, ability to conceptualize values, the complex social life of humans, however you might put it, and therefore a human living is a greater gain and dying is a greater loss than for any other being.  Throughout the books, the Animorphs transform into various animals and, due to how morphing works, get a sense of the instincts and natural conscious perspective of said animals. And some seem far preferable to others – while the dolphin and dog morphs give the main characters access to a kind of joy different from and stronger than what is experienced as a human, others like shrews (with constant fear) or especially ants (due to the loss of human conception of self, as well as the constant danger and brutal fighting) are so horrifying the Animorphs are reluctant to ever morph that creature again, even if it would give them an advantage, and even traumatized by the experience. This raises the question of how life could just generically be seen to have value and be sacred (as Cassie tends to think) when some lives’ innate experience, as just the condition of being that species rather than their particular circumstances, seem so much more worthwhile than others. But it’s worth noting that some animals’ lives do seem preferable to humans – it’s not humans who are the largest “utility monster” whose lives seem the most valuable of all, as is the typical human assumption.

The relative value of different species’ lived experience is a theme most directly confronted by Tobias, who, after the first book, is trapped in the form of a red-tailed hawk and now has to live life in the wild as a hawk rather than a human. Tobias’ attitude leaving up to this shows how many humans’ assumption that their life is the most preferable to live comes from disgust of alien experiences and the “wisdom of repugnance” rather than an objective valuation. Due to his open-mindedness and dissatisfaction with his human life, Tobias is able to avoid the default belief that being a human is “best” because being anything else is “weird”, finding much of the hawk’s experience like flying far preferable to his human life and not having an automatic aversion, at least in book #1, to other aspects like eating roadkill (an attitude that astonishes and disgusts the other children). When he is trapped, it's shown that even if he did not fully intentionally do so, he was attracted enough to the life of a hawk that he at least did not make as much of an effort as he could have to avoid it and semi-consciously seemed to want it to happen. 

By book #3, Tobias finds himself having mixed feelings about his new life -in a “the grass is greener on the other side” sense, he misses various parts of the human experience when deprived of them, and feels horror at the idea of killing animals to survive in a way that seems less of a moral point (given he has no problem at this point with eating human-produced meat) and more of disgust, to the point of suicidal behavior upon realizing he cannot control his hawk instincts and is losing his humanity. But nonetheless, the feelings are still mixed, he finds much value in his life and much preferable to the life of a human, and is uncomfortable with his friends’ assumptions of him as solely an object of pity who tragically sacrificed any joy his life could ever have to live some kind of horrifying fate worse than death, as shown in the scene where they nearly get stuck as wolves and Tobias is deeply uncomfortable with how horrified they are at the idea of ending up like him. The others’ reactions lead to his self-consciousness, as shown by how he is embarrassed in #23 specifically about having the other Animorphs see him eat roadkill, when in #1 he notably did not have an inhibition about the idea of eating it. These early parts of Tobias’ arc explore whether our assumptions of human life being preferable, and thus of more value, are based only on the favoring of familiarity, while still portraying the ambiguity of his experience.

But the picture is further complicated by showing ways in which a hawk’s, and by extension most animals’ (at least wild animals’) experience might truly be horrible, not just assumed to be so. It’s also noted that one large way the experience of a hawk differs from that of a human is that hawks have to spend all of their focus on survival – they are at constant risk of starvation and attack by other raptors, and have no hobbies or diversions in life. And this isn’t just a coincidence or rotten luck; the nature of predator/prey relationships in ecosystems is such that, from the predator’s perspective, starvation conditions are inevitable in regular cycles as the prey populations fluctuate. To some extent Tobias copes with this by romanticizing survival, finding peace in the push and pull of creatures every day living and struggling, giving a monologue to this effect in Megamorphs #2. And it helps that he already wants to “toughen up” and not be the child who was bullied for being sensitive anymore, and being a predator and survivor is helpful to his self-image. But his actions bely his words. At the end of the same book, Megamorphs #2, with the group transported back in time to the end of the Cretaceous Period, Tobias is the one to make the decision to not divert the comet that will cause the extinction at the end of this period, killing perhaps three fourths of species of animals on the planet in a horrific, drawn-out apocalypse because he knows that is the only way humans will come to exist in the future. The very character who claims he is at least partially happy and proud in the life of a hawk also believes that the existence of humanity is so important, and the value of the lives of animals like him so depreciating by them having pain and the struggle to survive to look forward to and little else complexity in their experience to alleviate this, that the animals’ actual deaths are preferable to humans just never having existed in the first place. Note there is also a small group of sapient aliens he is killing in this case, but while condemning them to death can be explained in a “trolley problem” sense by their number being much, much smaller than all the humans that did, now do, and will exist, I think his decision leading to the massacre of most of the animals on the planet is much more thematically relevant. 

Book #23 further explores how thin Tobias’ justifications that his life is worthwhile are becoming. In this book, he is increasingly struggling to find food to the point of starvation, when a relative of his suddenly offers to adopt him – but becoming human to be adopted would mean losing his ability to morph forever. Others like Rachel have already wondered why he is so resistant to going back to being a human, and now with the prospect of family, Tobias isn’t sure himself, he feels little joy or purpose in his life anymore. But I think the reason why he hesitates is revealed by his reaction to finding out said relative is actually his enemy Visser Three in morph. It’s clear in this scene and others (like his flashbacks to earlier childhood in #33 or his alternate self joining the Sharing in Megamorphs #4) that Tobias is a dreamer, always hoping for and willing to imagine an escape from his life, and yet due to these qualities being attacked and belittled by other people he hates himself for daring to hope and being proven wrong. Remember that wanting to be a hawk, just like thinking he might have a family, was also a form of dream of escape, something he to some extent let happen. And to some extent, his friends belittled him for it, believing that his idea of an escape would actually be a miserable and disgraceful life and sometimes reacting to him as such. His reluctance to live as a human is largely a fear, or growing realization, that what everyone told him might be right – that the life he half-chose for himself might be a horrible one, the discomfort they had that he once saw as misguided and a sign of being close-minded could be right all along. And that would mean facing his worst fear of being a dupe, a naïve idiot who has dumb, self-destructive ideas for how his life could be better and he could escape when really the world doesn’t work that way. He has to remain a hawk because, even if he doesn’t want it, it’s a fair punishment in his mind for putting himself foolishly into a trap, for being his open-minded self, and even if he doesn’t enjoy it at least living as a predator fighting for survival is the perfect symbol of the tough cynic who can’t be bullied that he wants to become. At this point he seems to not think the life and experience of a hawk is worth anything for himself or, as shown in Megamorphs #2, for other animals. 

It's not just Tobias’ arc that explores the question of whether a life can be worse than another or even not worth living due to the inherent experiences that come with being that kind of life form. There’s also the Taxxons, with their constant hunger that makes them desperate to do anything to escape it. When Arbron is trapped as one he tries to kill himself, but ultimately settles on living out of a belief that there can be hope in any life, and fighting for the Taxxon resistance. Even so, his life is still miserable in many ways, perhaps lived more for the opportunity to do good in the world than any personal happiness, and it’s surmised he might have been relieved when he finally died.  And the Yeerks, who are motivated to enslave others as brain parasites because it’s their condition as Yeerks to have a depreciated experience of life without infesting someone. They have no sight and hearing, but perhaps most importantly for the comparison to humans viewing their lives as more rich and thus more worthy, have no ability to experience the diverse range of life that comes with a sapient species’ society. A Yeerk alone just floats in a pool and nothing else, when infesting another being they can have the wide range of activities and complexity of intellectual experience that a human would have. Again the question is asked – are any beings’ condition of living bad enough that death would be preferable? Are there any bad enough that hurting another to have an experience of life more comparable with the readers’ human reference point would be an understandable action? 

The Animorphs books are also clear, though, that even with the main characters’ ability to live as other species and experience their instincts, and thus some slice of their lived experience, they don’t have nearly enough information to answer this question. As Rachel notes in #23 when trying to figure out why he doesn’t want to become human now that he has a family, Tobias is not fundamentally a hawk, but both a hawk and a human. He isn’t really making the decision whether the life of a human is preferable to that of a hawk, even the sad human life he lived before. He is making the decision of whether a human, coming from a human perspective, would be happier in his original form or as a hawk. For instance, his loneliness and need of a family isn’t a true “downside” of being a hawk from an actual hawk’s perspective, just from the mind of a social animal transplanted into one. Starvation and pain are things real hawks face, but they might conceptualize it completely differently than a human does. Note how studies have shown the pain people feel from injuries can vary depending on the story they mentally tell themselves, like soldiers believing their pain is for a cause feeling less than civilians who are injured by accident, and of course nonhuman animals don’t have language and thus likely don’t have a concept of a “story” behind their pain at all. This is explored in #33, when Tobias is being tortured and finds completely giving in to the instinctual experience a hawk would have helps him endure it – an acceptance of pain as a given, that “life is pain”, though this comes at the cost of not being able to appreciate pleasure from things like eating food like a human would as well. I’m not that convinced that this is how a hawk would experience things (I’d imagine due to natural selection promoting those feelings, a hawk would be likely to feel both pain and the pleasure of eating food intensely, if not in the same way as a person, and one could definitely argue not having a story and explanation for pain could make it feel worse), but obviously a human author can’t know and there’s a tough line to walk between anthropomorphism and complete denial of animals’ experiences paralleling humans in any way. And, although Yeerks like Aftran find being without a host a horrible fate, we see in Esplin’s perspective in the Hork-Bajir chronicles that Yeerks who have never had a host feel content enough in their pools, it’s only the comparison to a different experience that makes at least some feel lacking. Any attempt to use the experience in morph to judge how rich and happy the real animal’s experience is has this problem. The Animorphs’ much-despised ant morph is in part hated because of the constant violence, but also because of the loss of a human’s conception of self, something that would likely be only horrific if you started out as a human and not to a real ant. 

One can make a comparison here to disability activism and the criticism of people’s assumption that, because someone with a disability has a certain experience or is missing a certain experience, their lives are miserable or even not worth living. This is often predicated on an assumption that the abled human being is a happy default – so while being deaf is stereotyped as being miserable because of the lack of hearing, not being able to see ultraviolet light or sense magnetic fields like some animals can do is never seen as a tragic loss, showing it’s less about some objective valuation of experiences and more about devaluing disabled people in particular. What is interesting about this series is how it explores this theme in a context where the abled human is not the default, instead there is a huge range of different species’ experiences that can be shared and exchanged through morphing or Yeerk parasitism. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t sometimes play the ableist tropes straight, unfortunately, such as Loren in #49 preferring to die than demorph a hawk and become blind again, only relenting when she finds her blindness will be cured. But there is definitely a parallel to the experiences of people with disabilities in how book #3 Tobias finds he can’t express the complexities, both good and bad, of his experience without it being whittled down by the other Animorphs into pity and assumption there is just misery. 

Intelligence

Another perspective people often have is that humans’ intelligence grants them more moral relevance than that of non-human animals. This idea is explored in the Hork-Bajir Chronicles, which uses an interesting premise to explore this; a species that is less intelligent than the other sapient species in the series, but contains rare individuals who have intelligence comparable to those other species and thus capable of reflecting on how moral value is assigned, from whose perspective we can analyze and criticize this assumption. Through Dak Hamee’s perspective, we see how the Andalites around him, despite how they are supposed to be the Hork-Bajir’s allies and protectors against a common threat, are condescending to them and think them of little moral importance due to their lack of intelligence, to the point of being willing to sacrifice them all for a strategic gain. Dak Hamee reflects on how foolish it is to think intelligence as the be-all end-all of a being’s value, especially when it’s the Hork-Bajir who have lived in peace throughout their history and other species who are enthusiastic about war. 

The thematic exploration really gets interesting when Dak Hamee and Aldrea encounter the Arn, the species that turns out to have created the Hork-Bajir through genetic engineering. Their motive for doing so is a very understandable one – in order to salvage their destroyed environment and allow their species, and life on their planet, to survive, they needed to create an ecosystem that allowed circulation of oxygen. One role required for such an ecosystem was a caretaker of the trees, so they created the Hork-Bajir to do so. So let’s talk about what exactly the Arn are doing here, and why Dak Hamee is so horrified by it. They are not exactly enslaving or forcing the Hork-Bajir to do anything; they haven’t even met any of the Hork-Bajir. What they are doing is forcing the Hork-Bajir into exactly the condition of a non-sapient animal within an ecosystem, and by showing the horror an individual who became aware of such a role, this book is posing the question of theodicy of sorts – how could a loving creator use the mechanisms of an ecosystem as a tool for their creations, even if such a scheme was successful in preventing apocalyptic destruction? As the Arn note, they did not make the Hork-Bajir very intelligent because, like animals in Earth’s ecosystems, they do not need intelligence to do their role. And the Arn did not bother to explain to them the nature of the world and their role in it and have them consent towards avoiding doing the things that would destroy that world. Instead they used brute force, the threat of predators in the deep, to keep them in their assigned roles. And the occasional death by predator is comparatively gentle compared to most wild animals’ lives on Earth, who, unable to understand like humans the threat of overuse of resources and peacefully manage their behavior, are kept in check, and the world kept functioning, by constant cycles of predation or starvation that decimate populations rather than just picking off a few occasionally (look at a predator and prey population chart with the cyclic dips for both). By having an individual from such a species which is kept in its world-preserving “duty” not by intelligence and awareness but by suffering and death who is uncommonly intelligent and able to reflect on their condition, the morality of a creator using such a system is questioned.

All of this theodicy discussion ultimately connects back to the series’ resident “good” godlike being, the Ellimist. The Ellimist takes as his goal spreading altruism and allowing life to flourish, though his discussion with the Animorphs in #26 makes it clear his end goal and exactly why he wants these things. As he says “We watched the rise of other species throughout the galaxy. Helped at times, when we could. We wanted companions. We wanted to learn, We imagined a galaxy filled with millions of sentient species, each with its own science and art, its own beauty”. Using the word sentient while meaning sapient aside, what we can see here is that the Ellimist is motivated less by a utilitarian idea of allowing all life to flourish and be happy but specifically by a desire to increase the amount of sapient species, species that would be able to provide intellectual enhancement and new perspectives for him. Though the Ellimist chronicles, from his own perspective does show he cares about the happiness and survival of other species for their own sake rather than their intelligence in a way this quote somewhat downplays, he still limits this moral focus to sapient species, with his general principle of propagating life being more directed towards how it will give rise to sapience one day than that life existing for itself. And here we see a parallel to the Arn, by which the Ellimist’s morality can be questioned; can a godlike being justify a system where most of the beings in it are fodder, their suffering and deaths used only to eventually give rise to sapient beings which are considered the only morally important ones? Now admittedly, one can question whether the Ellimist has meaningful power to do otherwise; he is shown in his book to initially have notable limits to his power and knowledge of how interventions will affect things, and gaining much more power after his fight with Crayak happens at the same time as he is newly constrained by the rules of their “game”. But nonetheless, a being with such amazing power taking no consideration of non-sapient beings for their own sake in his moral system, apparently due to a lack of intelligence to provide interesting creations of their own, would still likely lead to him neglecting moral paths he could otherwise take within his considerable power. Which leads into the third reason people have for especially valuing sapient life, a view which one of the Animorphs holds herself…

Moral and Technological Understanding

Cassie outlines this view in Megamorphs #2 when she is arguing against killing a dinosaur. Sapient life is important from her perspective, not because their life experience or intelligence makes their lives inherently more valuable, but because they alone are capable of moral reflection and making choices that are influenced by something deeper than one’s own survival and that of one’s genetic relatives. “Yeah, we’re just animals ourselves. But we’re the animals who can think. We’re the animals who can imagine something better than kill or be killed. I don’t think predators are immoral. I’m not an idiot, whatever you may think. But I’m a human, okay? And I have to think and care, and I have to feel things”. 

Interestingly, this is a perspective she doesn’t quite start out the series with. #9 shows how Cassie starts out with a naïve belief (it it can count as a belief, it’s more of an unspoken assumption she doesn’t think about or define enough to call a belief) of a sort of moral continuity among living things, that there’s something inherent and baked into the universe about how valuable and sacred life is. Her experience in this book with the termites makes her realize just how amoral the natural world is, of the utter loneliness of her convictions and ability to make sense of the world when the rule everywhere else is survival. This realization forms the core of her character and motivations throughout the rest of the series. Her worst fear is to make the decisions and follow the logic that an animal would according to the impetus of natural selection. Even if the decision seems the best from a utilitarian perspective, if it is a decision one could come to from just survival of oneself and one’s own without deeper reflection, than making it would prove the world is senseless and there would be no point to the survival it earns. This perspective is one that makes her feel isolated not only within the natural world that she loves but among the other Animorphs, who think in terms of the war they are fighting with its rules of us vs. them. 

Whether you call it thinking more deeply and more wisely, or a stubbornness that values one’s own feelings of sanctity and security in the world over the suffering of others, Cassie’s perspective after #9 is fundamentally not naivete. Although she is still young and making the decisions she makes in an environment of war where flawed compromises and hypocrisy are inevitable - she’s not some kind of perfectly wise moral machine - she is presented as not out of touch but someone who is literally and metaphorically used to the earthy grittiness of life, and makes the decisions she makes with full knowledge of their implications. And for her, this means standing firm on the principle that every life is valuable, while making little distinction based on the particular abilities or subjective qualities of that life. Not no distinction (she calls the others out for stereotyping her when they think she wouldn’t be willing to kill a seal for their immediate survival, for example), but still a conviction that life has more or less the same value regardless of the contents of it. Even if the life is that of someone enslaved and trapped in their own brain, or doomed to endless, life-ruining hunger, as long as they are alive there can be hope of something different. 

This is the dilemma she faces; to value lives differently based on their experiences can lead to bias and, though one might pretend at detached reasons in doing so, is very likely to lead to valuing human life most of all due to the disguised reasoning of preserving one’s genes, exactly what she wants to avoid. It’s also only a step back from the humans who have killed those of her own that they felt were inferior, like the Nazis, who Cassie often reflects on. But to insist all life is of equal value regardless of context can lead to a fanaticism that ignores reality, an ability to do anything to someone as long as they are still alive, since as long as they are alive their life is still equally valuable so you didn’t do anything bad to them at all. This is shown when she comes up with the plan to trap David as a rat, justifying herself with how she is not killing him, only for David in #48 to make it clear he would have just preferred to die. Still, Cassie is willing to listen to other beings, like Aftran, when they express their greatest fear being not to die but to live a life depreciated in experience and value, and willing to “put her money where her mouth is” by willingly sentencing herself to such a life to prove she does not demand of others what she would not demand of herself. And ultimately, for most of those she spares the life of like Yeerks and Taxxons, her determination to see other possibilities beyond those given by evolution and animal instincts leads to them getting the possibility to morph, which does in fact give them hope in lives that would have otherwise not been ideal, at least without harming another for one’s own sake in the Yeerks’ case. In doing so, despite her flaws she proves the strongest and most principled prophet of this third argument in the series.

After all, it is not just the ability to think morally that sapience grants, but the ability to create technology that can transcend the compromises and suffering that would otherwise seem like an inevitable biological condition of a given species. In doing so, the series presents somewhat of a transhumanist message (if not applied to actual humans). The morphing technology gives the Yeerks and Taxxons a chance to not be bound by their biological condition, as does the Iskoorts’ symbiosis. The latter is implied to be supported by the Ellimist, with him perhaps subtly hinting to the Animorphs that this could be a solution to allowing both the Yeerks and the species they parasitize to coexist. However, how the Ellimist’s ethics centering around promoting the diversity of sapient life would coexist with these ideas in other scenarios remains unclear. 

To try to investigate this, it’s worth looking into the Ellimist’s own backstory. Growing up on his home planet, a big issue for the Ketrans was whether to use technology to transcend their condition of having to spend half their lives “docking” to keep the crystals they lived on afloat. To do so would undoubtably make their lives freer and better, but inertia and tradition made some reluctant to do so. One can draw the comparison (not a perfect comparison since some humans were hunter-gatherers before and during the rise of subsistence farming, rather than it appearing to be an inevitable condition of the species) to modern technology freeing the majority of the human population from spending much of their lives subsistence farming. When most of their species were killed, the Ellimist and Menno, a strong advocate for using such technology, were left on a spaceship together trying to find a home to restart their species, only to find that no other planet seemed to have crystals like the ones on their home planet. Menno suggested genetically altering the Ketrans to be able to survive on the surface, since there would be no hope of reproducing their old living conditions (which, as mentioned, had led to astronomical constraints on their lives) while the Ellimist argued otherwise on the grounds that doing so would make the species not what it once was. It would mean a piece of the diversity of experience (and particularly, from his perspective, sapient experience) would be lost, and he would argue there is great value for sapient species with their unique characteristics existing and being able to share their unique perspective with the rest of the universe. 

His stand ultimately turned out to be for nothing when all of them but he himself were killed, but given his views expressed in #26 I think the idea of keeping diversity alive is very important in his moral calculus, deriving from the grieving memory of his own lost species. The Iskoort issue is one thing, as it preserves the other species who would otherwise be threatened by them while preserving the Iskoort themselves, but the morphing of Taxxons or Yeerks that Cassie thinks up would be ensuring that none of the offspring of such morphs will be Taxxons or Yeerks at all. It would mean the freeing of the Taxxons from their suffering and the Yeerks from the horrible choice they had to make, but the essential extinction of the species itself. And I think Cassie and the Ellimist, despite being allies of convenience for having more or less the same goals, would fundamentally differ on whether they think that would be justified – in addition to, as mentioned, whether they think non-sapient life has inherent moral value. And I just think it’s fascinating how this series explores questions like this and the different perspectives involved.

[max1461]

I have said this before, and also gestured at it in a lot of my recent posts, but every time I think about it I am increasing convinced that the explanation for the Great Divergence is basically "there's nothing to explain".

Ok, maybe that's a little unfair: there is something to explain. Western European states and the US saw a series of remarkable technological leaps during roughly the period from 1600 to 1900, which allowed them to achieve astonishing wealth and global political power. There is an explanandum here.

But what I mean when I say there's nothing to be explained is the following. We already have good reason to believe that technological growth is approximately exponential. Technology is self-compounding: the more of it you have, the more of it you can develop. And very many metrics that we would expect to correlate with technology, like agricultural yield and life expectancy, seem to grow exponentially. So I think the idea that technological growth is more-or-less exponential is well evidenced. When something grows exponentially, there is necessarily going to be a point of rapid take-off, a "foom". This is also something we see with technology, and life expectancy, and so on, particularly around the time of the industrial revolution.

This is fairly uncontroversial.

Another fact that I think is uncontroversial is that technological and scientific growth are subject to network effects, and subject to local material conditions. Societies that are generally wealthier may have more time and resources to spend on science, etc., and once you have a bunch of scientists working together in a specific place and sharing ideas, you get more rapid advancement. This seems true even in today's highly interconnected world, which is presumably related to why a small number of universities produce so much cutting edge research—they have the funding and the networks of top people. And I think there really is a sense in which you have many more opportunities for fruitful research and collaboration at e.g. an R1 university than an R2 university. The network effects still matter a lot. In the world before the twentieth century, when information traveled much slower, network effects would presumably have been much more important.

This is, again, a conclusion that I think is independently obvious and uncontroversial. If there was some sense in which it was not true, that would deeply surprise me.

But, look: the conclusion of these too facts taken together is basically that the observed course of history was (in a sense) inevitable. The second fact predicts that you'll get localized "scientific booms" through history, where a bunch of progress is being made in one area. We see this multiple times, with "golden ages" of science and philosophy in the Bronze Age Near East, in the Greco-Roman world, in ancient India, Tang China, the medieval Islamic world, and so on. Obviously I think in some sense "golden ages" are post hoc constructions by historians, but I think there's likely at least some reality behind them. So you have these localized scientific booms that slowly contribute to the exponential increase in global scientific knowledge. And it follows, if scientific growth is exponential, that there's going to be a foom. And it follows that whoever's having a boom when there's a foom is going to benefit a lot—in fact, exponentially more than anyone has before!

I am tempted to call this the "boom and foom theory" of the scientific and industrial revolution.

But it's not really a theory. It's a prediction of two existing theories about technological growth generally, taken together.

And it seems consistent with observation to simply say that Western Europe got lucky, to be having a boom when the foom happened. This is what I mean when I say "there's nothing to explain". I am not really sure we need anything extra to explain why this happened where it did geographically. I mean obviously you can dig in to the historical particulars, but ultimately... it was bound to happen somewhere.

Maybe there's something I'm missing here, or maybe I'm being excessively deterministic. But I think probably that any more particular theory of why the Great Divergence happened needs to justify itself against this one; it needs to explain why it adds anything to the picture that this does not already account for. But I don't know.

[elysiumania]

title: a dagger's embrace pairing(s): jing yuan/reader warnings: angst, slow burn, violence, hurt/comfort, manipulation, suggestive themes. word count: 8.7k

MASTERLIST

CHAPTER 06

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"What are you doing here, Jing Yuan?" 

Your voice wavered, as you confronted Jing Yuan. Your heart pounded within your chest like a resounding war drum, beset by confusion and astonishment at his unexpected appearance before you. The notion of why he had chosen this precise moment to manifest remained elusive. He stood there, an embodiment of commanding grace, a signature smile adorning his lips, as if he held all the secrets of the world.

With a casual wave of his hand, he greeted you, though the nonchalant gesture did little to quell the emotions stirring within you. 

"I am here to visit my fiancée. Am I not allowed?" he replied, his tone light and playful, yet an undercurrent of determination gleamed in his gaze as he took a step closer to your table.

The audible gasps from the women surrounding you were undeniable, forming a hushed symphony of admiration that accompanied Jing Yuan's presence wherever he traversed. Though you could not see their faces, you could sense the collective awe that enveloped them. For many, he was not merely a military icon but a man emanating captivating charisma and allure. It was not every day that one had the privilege of encountering the notable General, and thus, the air shimmered with excitement and fascination.

An electric energy charged the atmosphere, drawing all eyes irresistibly toward him. Jing Yuan exuded a magnetic force, his presence captivating and enigmatic, leaving the women around you unquestionably starstruck.

As Jing Yuan reaches you, his presence seems akin to an unexpected stroke of fortune within your carefully orchestrated scheme. Surrounded by the estate's opulence and grandeur, a surge of satisfaction washed over you. Your assumption that your recent absence might have impacted him in some way appeared to be validated by his unanticipated visit.

The subtle curl of pride gracing your countenance as your meticulously laid plan began to bear fruit. The intricate pieces of your game aligned seamlessly, and the prospect of gradually dismantling Jing Yuan's defenses and drawing him closer to you no longer felt like an elusive dream but a tangible possibility. This opportunity allowed you to move through his life, inching closer to fulfilling your ultimate mission.

Nonetheless, beneath the allure of success, a connotation of unease remained ever-present. You were acutely aware of the great importance your ultimate mission held and the necessity for measured and cautious steps. The path you traversed was rife with risks and uncertainties, yet the promise of what awaited at its conclusion stoked the fires of your determination.

"Greetings to you, General Jing Yuan.” 

The guest's enthusiastic greeting to Jing Yuan resonated through the place, drawing him nearer to you as he stood tall and self-assured behind your seat.

"Greetings to all of you as well, beautiful ladies," he replied with a gracious smile, his voice smooth and inviting, carrying a chivalrous charm that seemed to envelop those around him.

The air subtly shifted with his presence,seizing everyone's attention akin to a gravitational pull.. His regal demeanor and striking features made him an arresting sight, a man who effortlessly stood out in any gathering. An undeniable allure surrounded him, an aura of power and sophistication that left an indelible impression on all those fortunate enough to encounter him.

Fascinated and amused, you observed the effect he had on the women present. Their reactions ranged from gasps of surprise to sighs of admiration, and you couldn't help but smile to yourself at their overt infatuation with the Jing Yuan. It was no surprise; after all, his countenance transcended mere attractiveness, possessing a captivating handsomeness that left people spellbound.

Amongst the ladies, a distinct squeal of delight echoed, a clear testament to the impact he had on them. You couldn't fault them for being enamored by his charm; it was a trait he wielded effortlessly, effortlessly winning hearts wherever he went.

As their attention remained enthralled by Jing Yuan, you took a moment to appreciate the scene unfolding before you. The pavilion shimmered with an intangible energy, an atmosphere charged with admiration and excitement. Yet, amidst the crowd, Jing Yuan's gaze remained fixed on you, his customary smile creeping his face, as if he knew the effect he had on others but reserved his most genuine attention for you.

“Apologies for the abrupt intrusion upon your teatime, but if I may be so bold, would you kindly grant me a moment with my fiancée?" Jing Yuan's soft and courteous tone left you with a tilt of your head as you listened attentively.

His unexpected request to borrow you momentarily caught you off guard, yet you maintained composure, refraining from speaking and simply allowing him to engage with the esteemed ladies around.

The women, clearly charmed by his presence, eagerly granted their approval, assuring him that such a favor need not be asked for.

"Certainly, General! You may borrow Lady (Name) without hesitation. There's no need to ask," one of them exclaimed with excitement.

Jing Yuan acknowledged their agreement with a smile and a nod of thanks, yet his eyes remained on you. It was as if he sought your permission, not merely to observe propriety, but because he genuinely valued your consent.

With a simple nod in response to his unspoken request, you gracefully rose from your seat, feeling a curious mix of anticipation and intrigue. The esteemed ladies smiled knowingly, understanding that there was a deeper connection between you and Jing Yuan than met the eye.

"I will return at a later time. I intend to have a brief conversation with Jing Yuan," you communicated, "Should you require any assistance, please feel free to summon aid."

Suyin, in particular, flashed you a meek smile and waved, and you couldn't help but pause for a moment, meeting her gaze with a hint of uncertainty. However, you quickly turned away, knowing that your private conversation with Jing Yuan required your immediate attention.

Once you had distanced yourselves adequately from the teatime gathering, you and Jing Yuan embarked on a search for a suitable location for this discreet tête-à-tête. The estate's opulent halls offered many possibilities, yet you both sought a place where you could converse candidly without the risk of prying eyes or ears.

The atmosphere seemed to thicken with each step, the anticipation between you becoming palpable. As you walked side by side, a comfortable silence settled between you, speaking volumes in itself.

Finally, a secluded alcove hidden away from the bustling crowd presented itself, ensuring the privacy you sought.

"So, if you don't mind my inquiry, what is the reason for requesting my presence?" you inquire once the two of you find yourselves secluded from the pavilion, shielded from prying eyes.

"I just wanted to visit you," he responded with surprising candor. However, your inquisitive nature pushed you to seek further verification, a reassurance that there was more to his presence than what he was revealing.

"Is it truly so?"

Your probing questions compelled you to dig deeper, hoping to uncover the truth that lay beneath his composed demeanor. 

You couldn't resist delving further into the reasons behind his unannounced visit. There was a longing within you to hear something more, something that would validate the assumptions swirling in your mind, despite the groundwork he had already laid with his presence.

Jing Yuan's lips quirked, and he momentarily licked them, a fleeting sign of contemplation crossing his features. His gaze remained locked onto your own, and a pregnant pause filled the air between you. It was as if he carefully weighed his words, considering how much to reveal.

"It appears that you are suggesting I might have another motive for this visit, hmm?" 

You couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, deftly deflecting the implications back to him. 

"I have not made any assumptions, Jing Yuan. It seems that notion rests solely with you. Perhaps it resonates with the truth behind your own words?"

Jing Yuan's amused smirk mirrored your own expression.. 

"Then if I might be frank, I was actually going to ask you about why you suddenly stopped visiting my office."

The question you had been waiting for finally surfaced, and the rush of satisfaction you felt was evident in the smile that adorned your face. It was the first step towards the realization of your ultimate goal, and the possibilities that lay ahead seemed tantalizing as long as you could maintain the delicate balance of your intricate plan.

"Oh, that," you responded with a gesture of innocence, lightly placing a finger on your chin as if considering the response. "I have been preoccupied with other engagements, as you might have noticed. My responsibilities as the future heiress of our clan demand my attention. I apologize if I failed to inform you in advance."

Your response was a well-crafted lie, one that you had fabricated in collusion with the matriarch. It was a part of the grand scheme you had twisted, a deception that entangled not only Jing Yuan but all the natives of Xianzhou Luofu. The guilt threatened to creep in, but you were quick to cut its vines, refusing to let it take root. After all, your pursuit of freedom and power had become your driving force, and you were willing to embrace deception to attain your goals.

You knew the risks of this elaborate charade, but the allure of liberty was too enticing to resist. Your quest for power and control had led you down a path of lies and conspiracy, and while the guilt lurked in the shadows, you knew that the end justifies the means.

"There's no need for apologies," Jing Yuan asserted, his voice carrying a solemn tone. "It is only natural for you to bear such responsibilities as the heiress. If anything, it is I who intruded, and I should be the one apologizing."

"No need for apologies. I am truly delighted that you took the time to visit, even amidst your busy schedule."

His next words revealed the depth of his genuine concern for you, sincerity evident in his eyes as he explained, "I simply wished to check on how you were faring. I had thought that something might have happened, prompting me to visit and offer a helping hand if needed."

His authentic worry caught you off guard, and you blinked in surprise as you gazed at Jing Yuan. His eyes held a subtle hint of concern that you hadn't expected, and you realized that your absence from his office must have genuinely troubled him.

"I must confess, I had not realized my absence would cause you such concern," you admitted, a coy smile playing on your lips.

"It is only natural to worry when means of instant communication are not readily available to inquire about your well-being."

You offered an apologetic smile in return. "I do not possess a smartphone for swift communication, and I apologize for any inconvenience it may cause."

"No matter. Meeting you in person is far more reassuring; it assures me that you are indeed doing well."

As the conversation with Jing Yuan progressed, you found yourself navigating a delicate balance of emotions. On one hand, you appreciated his evident concern and genuine care directed towards you. However, on the other hand, a growing sense of suspicion and wariness crept into your thoughts.

Jing Yuan's undeniable eloquence and smooth demeanor revealed his prowess as a skilled negotiator and master persuader. His reputation as the Luofu General only added to the charm and influence he effortlessly exuded.

You remained keenly aware of his ability to interact with a myriad of individuals, honed over countless years of experience. His interactions with people from all walks of life had shaped him into a masterful charmer, capable of handily winning others to his side.

Even with your own determination and cunning, you found yourself occasionally swayed by the allure of his concern. There was something captivating about his presence, an inviting warmth and understanding that stirred doubts within you.

Despite your reservations, you couldn't help but relish the engaging and intellectually stimulating nature of his company. His skillful maneuvers through various topics left fascinated.

However, caution tugged at your senses as you gazed into his amber eyes, which seemed to hold both curiosity and amiability. There was an almost hypnotic quality to his gaze, drawing you in and evoking emotions that remained enigmatic and complex.

Swiftly, you averted your gaze, mindful of the danger in succumbing too deeply to the enigma of Jing Yuan. It felt as though he possessed a way of peering through your carefully constructed layers, and you were determined not to let your guard down entirely.

Though his concern had touched you, you knew better than to place full trust in anyone within your life. The stakes were high, and vulnerability came at a cost you couldn't afford.

"Thank you for your concern, but indeed, I am doing well," you replied, subtly shifting the focus to his well-being. "And what about you? Do you not have work that requires your attention today?"

Jing Yuan seemed to ponder his response, then replied with a hint of nonchalance in his voice, "True, there is work to be done, but it can wait."

Your skepticism was apparent as you gave him a knowing look, crossing your arms before you. 

"Are you absolutely certain? I've noticed that your desk is always laden with piled documents every time I visit."

A soft chuckle, warm and resonant, escapes from Jing Yuan's lips, a melodic sound that dances upon the air in response to your astute observation. His amusement is evident, a subtle shift in the atmosphere that bears witness to the connection formed through this exchange.

"You possess a keen perceptiveness," he acknowledges with a nod, his words a thoughtful acknowledgment of your insight. "Indeed, the responsibility of overseeing the various commissions rests squarely upon my shoulders. Each day unfolds with a procession of reports and matters that demand my attention. While undeniably vital, the sheer scope of these tasks can at times render the undertaking somewhat monotonous.”

"So, to alleviate that monotony, you choose to pay me a visit, is that it?"

"Perhaps that is part of the reason."

You studied Jing Yuan carefully, attempting to discern any hint of his true intentions. Your question was straightforward.

"Since when have you been here?"

He responded with equal directness, "Oh, since the moment they were discussing the financial stability of the Xiang clan."

"So, you overheard our discussion?" you inquired, not feeling particularly perturbed by the fact.

"Yes. I didn't intend to eavesdrop. I just happened to arrive at a very inopportune time."

"Ah, it's not a matter of confidentiality, so it's fine." Curiosity got the better of you, and you probed further, "Are you familiar with the Xiang clan, then?"

Jing Yuan paused, placing his hands behind his back as he pondered his response. 

"Well," he began, "they are among the most significant investors in the Sky-Faring commission, and their patriarch attends meetings when his presence is required. Hence, I am acquainted with their clan."

His knowledge of the Xiang clan didn't come as a surprise, given his extensive network and influence. It served as another reminder of the intricacies of his world, where connections and alliances played crucial roles.

"Do you regularly attend the meetings of the commissions?" 

“Only in instances when my attendance is deemed necessary.”

You listened to Jing Yuan's explanation, a shrewd thought crossed your mind. The General possessed an unparalleled understanding of the state of affairs in Xianzhou Luofu. His extensive knowledge and influence spanned far and wide, making him a valuable source of information.

Recognizing the opportunity before you, you saw the potential benefits of sharing some of the spreading rumors with Jing Yuan. Such an exchange could serve multiple purposes, allowing you to both verify the validity of certain issues through his perspectives and gather more information about the affairs circulating among the nobles and clans in the region.

Having the upper hand in this precarious game of power was vital for the success of your plans. The more knowledge you acquired, the more influence you could wield, and you were determined to gather as much information as possible to secure your position in this complex landscape.

However, you were well aware of the delicate nature of this task. It required finesse and tact to approach Jing Yuan without appearing too eager or transparent in your intentions. Trust was a precious commodity, and you needed to tread carefully to maintain the fragile balance between gaining information and safeguarding your own secrets.

In the end, you understood that Jing Yuan's willingness to entertain your inquiries would largely depend on the rapport you had cultivated and the level of trust between you. It was a calculated risk, one that you were willing to take in your pursuit of gaining an advantage in this intricate society.

"Anyhow, when will you return to the seat of divine foresight?" 

"I think I shall depart immediately after this," he mused, his hand gently resting on his chin in contemplation. "I am aware that you have prior engagements, and it would be best not to disrupt your plans."

“Honestly, you are not causing any disruption. However, I understand the weight of your duties, and I wouldn't want to detain you here."

Jing Yuan chuckled softly at your words. "I assure you, I mentioned that it can wait."

"If you say so," you replied with a playful shrug.

Extending his arm, Jing Yuan politely offered to escort you back, expressing his desire not to depart abruptly and bid farewell to your guest as well. His courtesy and genteel demeanor only served to deepen the charm surrounding him.

You graciously accepted his offer, linking your arm with his and savoring the reassuring presence of his strength beside you as you made your way back to the pavilion.

As you walked together, Jing Yuan couldn't help but inquire, "If I may ask, when do you plan to visit my office again?"

You glanced at him, then returned your gaze to the path ahead, thoughtfully considering your response. "I shall endeavor to visit tomorrow since it has been a while."

Jing Yuan's face lit up with a bright smile. "I shall eagerly anticipate your visit tomorrow."

Once you and Jing Yuan arrived at the gathering, all eyes turned to acknowledge your presence. Smiles were exchanged, but it was evident that most of the attention was drawn to Jing Yuan. The guests held him in high regard, their gazes filled with either respect or affection, enamored by his presence.

"Have you finished conversing with Lady (Name), General Jing Yuan?" one of the guests inquired as you approached the table.

"Yes, I am grateful for the moment she has graciously given me," he replied with genuine appreciation.

With a courteous nod, you gracefully withdrew your arm from around his, allowing him to engage with the guests without hindrance.

"You need not thank us! Lady (Name) belongs to you, not to us," a woman playfully cooed, provoking giggles from others, including Jing Yuan himself. You couldn't help but shake your head at their teasing, finding amusement in the lighthearted atmosphere.

"Would you care for some tea, General?"

"I regretfully must decline, as pressing duties await me at the seat of divine foresight," Jing Yuan replied apologetically.

"That's unfortunate."

"When an opportunity presents itself, I shall gladly join again for some tea," Jing Yuan added, his voice carrying a gentle undertone that seemed to soothe the momentary disappointment that had clouded the table.

His words had a magical effect on the guests, brightening their faces with glee. You couldn't help but chuckle softly, marveling at how effortlessly Jing Yuan knew just the right things to say, how he could charm and appeal to others with such grace.

Truly, it was no wonder that many admired him.

"Well, then. I won't linger any longer," Jing Yuan announced, his gaze shifting to you, a warm smile gracing his features. "I shall now take my leave."

As he bid his farewell, Jing Yuan surprised you by kissing the back of your hand, a gesture that elicited an audible squeal from some of the ladies. A rush of embarrassment washed over you, not just from the intimate gesture but also from the amused reaction of those around you.

Though you had grown accustomed to his occasional displays of affection, having it happen in front of an audience amplified your embarrassment. Your cheeks flushed, and you tried to maintain your composure, though it proved challenging amidst the giggles and whispers from the amused guests.

"Be safe on your way," you managed to say meekly, trying to hide your flustered state.

As Jing Yuan's departure left a lingering buzz of excitement among the ladies, the teatime continued with a notable shift in conversation. Now, all eyes were on the General, and the air was filled with admiration and praises for him. Voices chimed in, each lady eager to share their own anecdotes and encounters with the distinguished figure who had just graced their presence.

You, too, were not exempt from the inquisitive gazes and probing questions about Jing Yuan. The ladies were curious to know more, seeking details about his character and behavior, especially when the two of you were alone. With honesty and poise, you recounted your experiences with him, describing him as wise and mysterious—a man of enigmatic charm and intellect.

As you spoke, you could see the interest in the eyes of those around you, hanging onto every word as if they were unraveling the layers of a captivating tale. You felt a certain pride in being able to offer insights into Jing Yuan's character, even though the true extent of your relationship with him remained concealed.

When someone probed further, questioning whether he was a true gentleman, you didn't hesitate to affirm their assumption. 

"Indeed, he carries himself with grace and respect, embodying the essence of a true gentleman. His actions and words reflect a genuine sense of chivalry and courtesy."

The admiration for Jing Yuan seemed to know no bounds, and the conversation continued to revolve around him. Each lady shared their own perspectives, recounting moments where he had displayed kindness, wisdom, and bravery. It was as if his presence had left an indelible mark on each of them, a testament to the powerful allure of Jing Yuan.

The tea party drew to a close and the sun began its gradual descent. With heartfelt farewells and expressions of gratitude, you bid your esteemed guests adieu. Each of them conveyed their delight and anticipation of future gatherings, hopeful that Jing Yuan might once again honor them with his presence.

With the departure of the final guests, the grand gates of the estate closed with a decisive thud behind them. The atmosphere shifted from vibrant conversation to a tranquil stillness, and the air seemed to grow quieter. The setting sun cast a radiant, golden hue across the surroundings, imbuing the estate with a serene luminosity.

In this newfound tranquility, your attention was drawn to the lingering figure of Suyin. Her presence stood solitary amidst the fading daylight. Your gazes met, and in that moment, an unspoken understanding passed between you.

Drawing closer to her, you couldn't help but wonder why she chose to remain while her entourage waited by the gates. A curiosity gleamed in her eyes, hinting that she might have something of importance to share, something that demanded a more private conversation.

As you stood face to face, a gentle breeze stirred, rustling the edges of your attire. The soft sound of leaves in motion carried an undercurrent of anticipation, as if nature itself recognized the significance of this impending exchange.

The estate, once teeming with the energy of the gathering, now held a quiet reverence, as if it had become a canvas for a more intimate connection. You waited, your gaze steady as it met Suyin's, open to whatever she might wish to share, her unspoken words hanging in the air like a delicate secret waiting to be unveiled.

"Lady Suyin, allow me to bid you farewell," you said, inclining your head respectfully as you addressed her. "I extend my gratitude for gracing my hosted tea party today. I trust you will take due care on your journey back."

To your surprise, Suyin waved her hand in a slightly frantic manner, a faint flush coloring her cheeks. 

"No, it is I who should express gratitude, particularly for the incident earlier," she replied, her gaze shifting modestly downward as her fingers gently intertwined.

You offered a gentle smile, seeking to clarify the matter. "It appears there might be a misunderstanding. My involvement in the conversation amongst the ladies was not meant as assistance, but rather a means to curtail an annoyance. Your gratitude is truly unwarranted."

Suyin blinked, her lips parting as she absorbed your explanation. "I-I see. My apologies for the confusion... However, I still wish to convey my appreciation for inviting me despite the rumors that circulate regarding my family."

Her gratitude radiated with authenticity, and her smile held a genuine warmth as she tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. With a final wave, she turned to depart, offering her farewells.

"I found today quite enjoyable, Lady (Name). May our paths cross again in the future.”

"Likewise."

As Suyin and her retinue commenced their departure from the estate, you remained stationary, your gaze affixed to their gradually receding figures. The ambiance turned a subtle change as the event reached its conclusion, leaving you in a contemplative solitude.

"Yuyan," you beckoned, and the young woman promptly materialized at your side.

"Yes, Lady (Name)?"

Without turning to meet her gaze, you conveyed your instruction. 

"Share with me the particulars of what unfolded during my absence."

"As you command."

With Yuyan trailing in your wake, you initiated your stride back into the estate, her narrative voice recounting the sequence of events that had transpired in your absence.

"Upon your departure, the ladies engaged in a brief conversation concerning the General, subsequent to which the discourse pivoted back to Lady Suyin," Yuyan reported, and you offered a faint hum to signal her to continue. "The heiress of the Xiang clan maintained a composed silence throughout, refraining from participating in the exchange that included disparaging commentary directed at her."

Your intuition has once again proven its accuracy. The moment you elected to withdraw with Jing Yuan, your foresight had accurately detected the currents of uncertainty and unease that had lingered in the shadows during your presence. The conversations revolving around the state of the Xiang clan had been steeped in discontent and unease, stifled by the apprehension of voicing their true thoughts in your proximity.

Indeed, your standpoint diverged significantly from their criticisms and viewpoints. Your perspective was characterized by another vision, one that challenged the prevailing sentiment and notions. The absence of your influence had furnished them with the freedom to converse openly, to articulate their concerns without the weight of your presence casting a pall over their expressions.

However, the realization that they were utilizing Suyin as a canvas on which to project their grievances was distasteful. They were exploiting the opportunity to release their frustrations and criticisms, unburdened by your watchful gaze.

That circumstance was laced with irony. The image of Suyin, being subjected to their unfiltered words left a bitter residue in your perception.

You offered a wry scoff, acutely aware of the intricate dynamics at play. It was evident that they perceived Suyin as an easy target, a vulnerable entity incapable of retaliating against their barrage of reproaches. The metaphorical mice, encircling her with predatory anticipation, were poised to strike at the first whiff of vulnerability, thereby sketching a stark tableau of their behavior.

"Is that the entirety of the account?" 

"Indeed, that is all. Yet, it appears that you possess the ability to invoke a sense of trepidation among the ladies, Lady (Name)."

"I wonder why that might be."

"I am confident that your interruption was the cause.” Her reply carries an unwavering conviction, a subtle undercurrent of astute observation. “They did not foresee your dissenting viewpoint on the subject. However, I must acknowledge their acting skills; their demeanor took a swift transformation the instant they laid eyes upon you and the General."

The eloquent arch of your eyebrow signifies your comprehension of the complexities of aristocracy. 

"You are already well-acquainted with the attitudes and behavior of the noble class, Yuyan. Such pretense is akin to an illustration in an exhibit, where the unspoken sentiments between them are revealed with a mere glance – unless, of course, one chooses to remain in blissful ignorance."

Her nod conveys a blend of concurrence and insight. "I am well aware."

"Undoubtedly, that should be the case. After all, we are deeply entrenched within the same very category. We project a veneer that withstands facile unraveling, a shield designed to obscure the intentions we've painstakingly constructed."

You smirk.

Positioned on your knees, you find yourself in the presence of Lady Mingzhu. Her features are graced with a self-satisfied smirk, her gaze descending upon you from her elevated perch upon the platform.

The cause behind the contentment etched across her countenance is not a mystery to you. After all, you had dutifully relayed the details of Jing Yuan's unexpected visit.

"I find myself gratified by the outcome, (Name). Your utility is on a steady ascent," she remarks, her fingers idly toying with the folds of her fan.

In response to her words, you execute a graceful bow, a gesture that echoes your respect. "Your satisfaction is truly an honor, Lady Mingzhu. Might I seek your guidance on whether my visits to the seat of divine foresight should persist?"

"Did he extend an invitation for your return?"

Your response is a simple, affirmative nod.

"Then it is resolved. Forge ahead with your frequent encounters with the General. Your consistent presence shall act as a catalyst to cultivate his trust," she decrees, the flourish of her fan punctuating her statement. A subtle, contemplative smile tugs at her lips. "Additionally, do not withhold from me the details of your interactions with the ladies hailing from esteemed clans."

"The tea gathering is all well," you disclosed, your words an opening into the narrative. "However, the assembled ladies have become entangled in the swirling tendrils of gossip, centered around none other than the Xiang clan."

A thoughtful pause accompanies her response, her voice a contemplative murmur. 

"The Xiang clan, you say…" Her words hang momentarily, as if she's allowing the essence of that name to linger in the air. "Whispers that flutter through the corridors of intrigue suggest that the Feng clan, in a twist of fate, chose to annul the intended union between their son and the daughter born of the Xiang lineage."

"Indeed, the gossip does not falter in its accuracy."

A faint, almost indiscernible exhalation of exasperation escapes the matriarch's lips, a subtle display of her vexation. 

"I stand bereft of the specifics regarding the precipitous untangling of the Xiang clan's circumstances."

Your eyebrow arches in a silent inquiry, a slight perplexity glistening in your gaze. It's a puzzle that the matriarch, renowned for her omniscience within high society, remains unaware of the Xiang clan's underlying turmoil.

"I've gleaned from the ladies that the Xiang clan faces the looming specter of financial decline."

"Naive individuals," she proclaimed with unwavering certainty, deepening your sense of bewilderment. "Whispers regarding their financial downfall are nothing but baseless conjectures. The clan commands vast riches, establishing themselves as eminent investors in the Sky-Faring commission. Moreover, their enterprises flourish across various city districts, spanning diverse trades within numerous Xianzhou fleets and other worlds. Thus, the notion of their impending bankruptcy appears unfounded. No substantiated proof attests to the precariousness of the Xiang clan's fiscal standing."

Jing Yuan's information had indeed proven accurate. The purported bankruptcy of the Xiang clan was naught but a wisp of rumor carried on the wind. 

It appeared to be a baseless rumor designed to bolster the justification for the dissolved engagement between Suyin and Yichen. The genuine cause behind the severed betrothal lingered veiled in obscurity, a missing puzzle piece within the intrigue enshrouding the Xianzhou Luofu.

Jing Yuan's knowledge spanned an extensive spectrum, encompassing minutiae from the lowest strata of society to the apex of the privileged elite. His insights stood as a testament to his acumen, a reality that invoked both appreciation and wariness concerning his capabilities. However, as you contemplated your personal pursuit of information, a formidable challenge lay ahead.

The endeavor of gathering intelligence was a task far from straightforward. While Jing Yuan possessed the means to acquire information with seeming ease, your own endeavors would undoubtedly incite suspicions amidst his subordinates and, conceivably, within Jing Yuan himself. Upholding your facade while concurrently seeking out knowledge promised to be a precarious venture.

The course you were embarking upon necessitated discretion. You had to devise methods of amassing information devoid of provoking undue suspicion, to ascertain the truth without tipping your hand.

"More crucially," her words pierce the air, laden with an undertone of interrogation, "what prompted your selection of that particular simpleton as your handmaiden?"

As Lady Mingzhu's query unfurls, your jaw instinctively clenches in a subtle display of tension. The skepticism and veiled suspicions that mar her gaze do not elude your discerning gaze. Nevertheless, you meet her gaze with a mask of unwavering stoicism, deftly concealing the undercurrent of nerves that thrash beneath the surface.

"After careful consideration, I determined that ensuring her presence within close proximity under my vigilant supervision would be the wisest approach. This decision aimed to preempt any possibility of disgrace arising from impulsive or thoughtless actions."

However, the matriarch's response is not one of immediate acquiescence. Instead, her eyes narrow, her perceptive gaze slicing through your carefully constructed narrative like a keen-edged blade. Her scrutiny is unyielding, as though she seeks the minutest fracture in your facade, a chink to exploit.

"Doubt clouds my assessment of your assertion. Are you confident that she won't repeat any errors, considering the embarrassment she displayed in my presence?!" Her voice rumbles forth, her words laced with a potent mix of skepticism and latent anger. 

The growl in her tone sends a shiver cascading down your spine, a visceral response to her simmering ire. Your lungs contract involuntarily as you draw in a sharp breath, the weight of her displeasure hanging palpably in the air.

"Rest assured," your words slice through the charged atmosphere. "I shall take every conceivable measure to ensure her conduct does not veer into dishonorable territory. Should she falter in this, I pledge to rectify the situation with my own hands."

Her gaze remains steadfast, a scrutiny that seems to delve into the very essence of your being. Yet, as the seconds tick by, her shoulders gradually relax, and a scoff punctuates her response.

"Your conviction must be unswerving, for should history repeat itself and her actions mirror her past disgrace," her words resound with a cadence of threat, "the repercussions will not be limited to her alone. They will extend to you as well."

A tacit awareness envelops you, an intimate understanding honed through countless interactions. You've borne witness to her impatience and meticulous tendencies, often finding yourself caught in the tempest of her ire. A deep well of knowledge about her character has crystallized within you, equipping you with the tools to navigate her disposition and soothe her volatile temperament.

"I understand," your voice is a measured reflection of your comprehension, your gaze inclined respectfully downward.

"I shall convey my directives to the head chef, ensuring your midday repast is prepared for your journey to the seat of divine foresight on the morrow. Let it be known that recklessness is a path barred to you. This point I shall emphasize." Her words contain a warning. "Are there any remaining matters you deem necessary to append?"

Lingering at the precipice of your response, you navigate a delicate balance, crafting words that straddle the line between respect and diplomacy. While veiled, your intentions bear the weight of necessity, a safeguard rooted in contingency and the promise you've given to Yuyan. Risk lurks within your unspoken request, yet the stakes have elevated to a point where reticence is no longer a viable option.

Your throat works as you swallow, an apparent tension coiling within you. 

"If I may abandon all artifice, Lady Mingzhu, I dare to beseech your gracious consideration for an allowance that might prove pivotal in moments of unforeseen urgency."

In the wake of your unreserved statement, a sense of vulnerability lingers, mingled with a quiet resolve. You watch as her gaze remains upon you, the weight of your words settling in the room like suspended particles in the air.

"Further, I must admit that the esteemed ladies have extended invitations to me for forthcoming events within their esteemed circle. If it pleases you to permit me this privilege, I shall diligently steward the allowance you entrust me with, employing it judiciously for the advancement of our cause."

A bow punctuates your candid request, a silent sign of deference and respect. A pause ensues, elongated and weighty, as if the chamber itself holds its breath.

"It is, undeniably, a prudent proposal," she concedes, her voice a measured cadence of reason. "Given the unmistakable spotlight that accompanies your connection to our lineage, a discreet allowance serves to quell the murmurings of presumption, negating any conjectures of an unostentatious existence."

Her rationale deepens as she delves further with justification. 

"Moreover, the renown of the Hongying clan lies in its splendor, a legacy not to be trifled with. Thus, it seems wise to liberate you to expend as you deem fit. However, I must underscore that the amount you receive is not a carte blanche for extravagance. Your actions must bear the mark of prudence, and your disbursements must align with the meticulous strategy underpinning your mission."

The thorn that had lodged itself within your contemplations appeared to have been finally extracted, ushering in a sensation of relief that cascaded over you akin to a refreshing breeze on a warm afternoon. The matriarch's accord with your entreaty for an allowance had bestowed upon you a modicum of tranquility. It was almost as though a burden, which had weighed upon your shoulders, had been deftly lifted, affording you a renewed sense of unhindered breath.

This newfound financial stipend carried a resonance that harmonized profoundly with your innate sense of duty. It was a pledge you had forged to Yuyan, a commitment to secure the necessary medication her ailing mother urgently required. Despite your aversion to materialistic yearnings and the absence of need for an exorbitant sum, the import of this allowance transcended its mere pecuniary value.

Attuning yourself to the sagacity imparted by the matriarch yielded its own rewards. The cloud of uncertainty looming on the distant horizon lent an air of foreboding to the days that lay ahead. Thus, maintaining a reservoir of funds at your disposal bore the semblance of a wise course of action, a prudent measure in anticipation of the future.

"I bestow upon you this indulgence as a reflection of the commendable diligence you exhibit in your appointed duties," her words exude an air of benevolent authority, each syllable a nod to your competence. 

The reward, a token of appreciation for your meticulous efforts, carries a weight beyond its mere material value. She raises a languid hand, the fan she holds becoming a subtle extension of her demeanor. 

"You are tasked with notifying Yiran of this privilege. Seek her counsel on matters related to this allowance. Dismiss any trepidation from your thoughts. Should you find yourself bereft of further discourse, your departure is in order. Await my summons, should necessity arise."

In response to her directive, you execute a final bow, your gratitude woven into the graceful arc of your gesture. A sense of accomplishment settles within you as you step away from the chamber, a triumphant curl embellishing your lips as you traverse the corridors.

With the matter resolved, it is necessary that you meet with Yuyan to discuss the agenda for tomorrow.

The quietude of your room becomes a backdrop to the candid exchange that unfurls between you and Yuyan. Amidst the rustle of turning pages and the soft swish of cloth against glass, the question you pose becomes the catalyst for a deeper connection.

"You know," your voice, a gentle tone of inquiry, breaks the silent ambiance as you raise your eyes from your reading material. "I find myself still awaiting your response regarding your prior profession."

The task at hand momentarily forgotten, Yuyan's gaze lifts from her window-wiping duties to meet yours, a glint of amusement lurking within her eyes. 

"It appears that your curiosity is a force that will not waver until it's sated."

"Indeed, that very curiosity was the initial spark that led you to your current role under my supervision."

A sigh escapes her lips, the sound a fleeting whisper that blends with her exhalation. She resumes her chore, cloth against glass. 

"I used to be a mercenary.”

"Ah, it would seem that your dexterity and fleetness of reflex find their origins in your previous occupation."

"And what of you? What story lies behind your own proficiency?"

A wistful note resonates in your voice as you share your own tale. "I was guided by the tutelage of a seasoned swordsman, one whose mastery became my beacon."

Yuyan's hums echo with a blend of curiosity and contemplation, her cloth continuing its rhythmic dance across the windowpane. 

"And where does this master reside now?"

A moment of suspended movement unrolls, as your hand, poised to flip a page, hesitates in mid-air. 

The question regarding your master's fate, an innocent query tethered to a distant past, strikes like a blow to a tender wound. Your visage, a portrait of silent resolve, tenses with a visible tightness as the memories, vivid and haunting, rise to the surface. The pain of those recollections, etched into your very being, remains unhealed even after the passage of centuries.

"Deceased," your voice is a measured, stoic utterance, a single word that carries the weight of a lifetime's worth of loss. 

The page flips, a motion that seems to reflect your determination to proceed despite the unyielding ache that persists within you.

Yuyan's contrite apology is a whisper in the space between you, a fragile acknowledgment of the unseen wounds that thread through your history. Your response is a subtle, understanding shake of your head, a gesture that both addreses her empathy and signals your desire to steer the conversation away from that painful precipice.

"Tomorrow," your voice steadies, an anchor in the shifting currents of conversation. "We shall embark upon a visit to the seat of divine foresight. Be prepared to await instructions at a designated location, as communicated by Jing Yuan's counselor. If any information surfaces that you deem pertinent to our purpose, ensure it finds its way to my attention."

"Duly heeded.”

The air carries the weight of upcoming directives as your voice assumes its authoritative timbre once more. 

"Looking ahead to the following week, I task you with a specific errand. Seek Yiran's presence and confer with her regarding the administration of my allowance. This reaponsibility shall fall under your purview, and it is imperative that you relay my command directly to her."

A flicker of confusion dances within Yuyan's features, visible to your discerning gaze. The mixture of uncertainty and inquiry in her expression triggers your next question.

"Do you doubt your own competence, Yuyan?"

"It's not a question of capability. I can certainly manage financial matters. It's more that I find myself taken aback by your willingness to entrust me with such a task."

Your own expression remains composed as you deliver your retort. "If your confidence in handling finances matches your skills in combat, then I have no reason to harbor doubts."

“Did the possibility not cross your mind that I could potentially embezzle funds?”

Your response comes with a subtle tilt of your head.

"The prospect of embezzlement does not occupy my concern. Whether you were to steal those funds or not, the ultimate destination remains unaltered. Those resources will invariably find their way to the ailing hands of your mother, serving to alleviate her afflictions. The allowance I possess is, in essence, earmarked for her medical needs. Thus, the outcome, irrespective of any perceived misappropriation, remains constant. I stand to lose nothing."

A flicker of disbelief paints Yuyan's face, her jaw figuratively dropping under the weight of your unorthodox perspective. Your response, laced with an air of detachment and an acute understanding of her predicament, emphasizes a larger truth that anchors your intentions.

A playful, incredulous shake of her head precedes her words, carrying a mix of resignation and amusement. 

"You truly are something else."

"Perhaps.” 

A palpable tension paints the scene, your gaze locked in a silent exchange with the formidable presence before you. The massive white lion, a regal figure cloaked in an aura of restrained hostility, holds your attention captive. Its eyes, an unrelenting blaze of intensity, bore into your own with a raw, unspoken animosity. The low rumblings that emanate from its throat signal a simmering anger that hangs in the air, a perceptible threat that reverberates in the very sinews of its powerful form. Its bared teeth, glistening and deadly, serve as a stark reminder of the potential danger that lurks beneath its majestic exterior.

Beside this living embodiment of nature's fury stands Jing Yuan, a serene smile gracing his features. His demeanor, seemingly untouched by the latent hostility of the creature, exudes a sense of affinity and control. His fingers trail through the lion's fur, a tactile testament to his harmonious connection with this wild animal. As he catches your gaze, his expression takes on a pleased quality, as if he delights in sharing this new aspect of his life with you.

Confusion lingers in the air as your gaze shifts between the lion and Jing Yuan. Questions clamor at the edges of your thoughts, begging for answers that seem elusive. 

Why is there a lion here, a creature of the wild brought into the heart of your encounter? And perhaps more confounding is the nonchalant stance of Yanqing, who stands nearby, seemingly unperturbed by the presence of this predator.

"I wished for you to acquaint yourself with a companion of mine," Jing Yuan's voice, a measured tone, intrudes upon the tense atmosphere. His fingers continue their gentle exploration of the lion's fur, as if to convey a sense of tranquility in the midst of the lion's potential ferocity.

A note of skepticism colors your response, a hint of incredulity as you grapple with the surreal reality before you. 

"Oh, a lion as your companion? What is her name?"

Your curiosity stirs further as Yanqing joins the conversation, bridging the gap with an explanation that sheds light on the creature's history.

"The General affectionately named her Mimi during her days as a kitten. But, as she matured into the formidable animal you see before you, he now calls her Snowlion."

A flicker of amusement dances in your eyes as you gaze at Jing Yuan, an ironic smile adorning your lips. The incongruity between the fearsome image he projects and the endearing name he bestowed upon his companion elicits a chuckle. 

"Mimi? A name so endearing seems rather incongruous with your demeanor, General. It's a far cry from the perception that the locals hold of you."

A snort from Yanqing echoes your sentiment, his amusement evident in the subtle curl of the corners of his mouth. Jing Yuan's response is marked by a sheepish smile, his admission laced with a touch of self-deprecation. 

"In truth, it was an oversight on my part. During Mimi's infancy, I mistook her for a common house cat. Thus, the name. But as time unfolded, her true nature revealed itself, prompting a renaming that befits her.”

Your gaze shifts to the lion, whose intense glare and low growls paint a picture of unrelenting hostility. A realization takes root within you; it seems Jing Yuan's pet lion isn't particularly enamored with your presence. The mounting tension is discernible, a coiled anticipation that snakes through the air.

The sudden eruption of a roar shatters the quietude, the lion's reverberating cry setting your nerves on edge. Your body tenses involuntarily, a primal fear coursing through your veins as your heart races in response. The guard stationed near the statue leaps in startled surprise, while Yanqing's composure falters for a fleeting moment. Jing Yuan himself gazes at his companion with a mixture of surprise and confusion, the unexpected display of aggression leaving him momentarily perplexed.

"Snowlion," he intones with a firmness that carries an undertone of command, yet the lion's glare remains unyielding, its growls a testament to its unchecked hostility.

Your voice cuts through the charged atmosphere, a mixture of calm and resignation lacing your words as you voice the obvious. 

"It appears that I'm not on Mimi's good side, Jing Yuan."

His attention, along with Yanqing's, pivots towards you as you stand amidst the tension, a steady presence despite the unease that rages within you. The anxious rhythm of your heartbeat is a counterpoint to your outward demeanor, an artful front that conceals the roiling currents beneath.

“It's normal for Mimi to express displeasure toward certain guests who visit the seat of divine foresight. Which, I share the sentiment of disfavor for each of them as well “

An understanding smile curves your lips as Yanqing rushes to clarify the lion's selective antagonism. His words stumble upon an unintended implication, a truth he hastens to correct. 

"No, no! I mean, not you. It's just that Mimi tends to react to guests who I bore a distaste for. But you're not one of them! I like you."

"Thank you, Yanqing. I appreciate your kind words. I hold a favorable opinion of you as well."

Yet, amidst this exchange of mutual regard, Jing Yuan remains a silent observer, his gaze an inscrutable force that seems to dissect your every nuance. 

The intensity of his scrutiny is apparent, a trace that awakens a sense of caution within you. Your question, a protective reflex, pierces the silence with its sharpness. 

"Is there something on your mind, Jing Yuan?" 

"I apologize, I seem to have been lost in thought. Perhaps it's best if I were to return Snowlion to her quarters. One can't be too cautious, as unforeseen events could transpire."

His summoning of Qingzu heralds the resolution to this unexpected confrontation, the counselor's compliance evident as she steps forward to retrieve the lion. The tension seems to crescendo as Snowlion lets out one final, resonating roar before yielding to Qingzu's command. The lion's retreat is a mesmerizing sight; its white, fluffy coat sways with an illusion of innocence, masking the underlying threat it had represented just moments before. Its lingering gaze, fixed on you with the residue of antagonism, emphasizing its untamed nature.

Jing Yuan's disappointment is recognizable, his eyes tracing the lion's departure with a sigh of resignation. It's evident that his intentions to introduce his companion to you have not yielded the outcome he had anticipated. The initial excitement that had colored his introduction now takes on a tinge of thwarted ambition.

Apology tints his voice as he addresses you, an apologetic smile gracing his lips. 

"Please accept my apologies for this unforeseen occurrence. Snowlion is quite particular about those she allows in her proximity. I hope her display of aggression did not disturb you."

You respond with a reassuring nod. "Animals, especially those untamed by nature, often exercise caution with unfamiliar faces. It's a natural instinct for them."

The exchange takes on a lighthearted note as you muse about the potential for future encounters. Your words carry a note of optimism, a playful anticipation of what might come to pass. 

"Perhaps, with time, Snowlion might grow accustomed to my presence and warm up to me."

"I have no doubt that she will, (Name)."

join my taglist!

taglist:

@96jnie @just-a-fuegoleon-fangirl @harmoming @beateater

[alipeeps]

Episode 33

Ok so, first of all, how very in character for Princess Wanning to have a secret fucking dungeon hidden in her part of the palace (also hilariously cliché how the hidden door opens and the decor within immediately changes to classic dungeon aesthetic of dark stone walls/guttering candles etc 😂).

And as soon as I saw a prisoner there it was a foregone conclusion it was gonna be Xue Zhao.

So that was a bit obvious but whatever... but oh man that scene also drove home just how fucking crazy - and dangerous - Wanning is. When she abruptly stabbed him, and gleefully twisted the knife... Yikes!!

But oh I found the scene at the judicial court so SO hard to watch. Xue Li's reputation being ruined - again! And in front of her "father"! Reputation is so important to her. They destroyed her reputation as Xue Fangfei but her new identity as Jiang Li offered her a fresh start - and an improved reputation as the daughter of a high-ranking official. And here she is again with her reputation getting ruined by allegations of a sexual nature... and Wanning forced her to do it to herself. I had to pause this scene for a while and take a break before watching it play out cos I was so stressed by it/dreading seeing it happen.

But I got through it and was at least slightly consoled by papa Jiang appearing to have a brain for once in his fucking life and realising that she was probably forced to do this by Princess Wanning.

Oh how I loved the confrontation in the dungeon. Yurong is still trying to make excuses (I had to protect my mum and sister!! Yeah, and you willingly - as Xue Li rightly told him - sacrificed your wife and her whole damn family in order to do so!). Her scorn for him was delicious and entirely justified and when she told him not to call he A-li again... damn right!!

And her asking Xiao Heng for help was so good too. They are so honest with each other now. There's no more pretence at bartering, they both know the other will help any way they can (oh I do wish she had told him/asked for help earlier though... but she seems to have something specific planned re: her request to Juiyue).

I will honestly be fucking astonished (and annoyed) if Yurong doesn't try to kill Princess Wanning before the end of the show. It seriously looks like that is what he is working towards now. She is conceited/crazy enough to believe his expressions of love, and wanting to be only with her, are genuine... but anyone with an ounce of common sense can see no love in his eyes or his actions... he is setting her up for a fall.

This is the face of a man using every ounce of self-control he has to not just stab her right in the neck with that thing...

Be interesting to see the Emperor's reaction to the request for Shen Yurong to marry Jiang Li though... when we know he already knows that his boi Xiao Heng has feelings for her. Of course, he's gonna go with whatever works best for his plans though...

The image of them taking a convivial stroll through the gardens with an entire retinue of servants and guards following slowly in their wake is fricking hilarious.

I have to wonder is the emperor truly as oblivious/trusting of consort Li as he seems? Or is he (please god?!!) aware that she's just as scheming as anyone else in the palace and may not always be working in his best interests and is just putting on an act with her?

Xue Li is certainly not fooled by any of this shit.

"So you married me once, killed me, and now you want to marry me again... and kill me again?"

I do wonder if he genuinely believes that he's doing this to protect her? If he genuinely thinks this can be a second chance with her, that he can marry her again and somehow have her love him again? He is, after all, very good at deluding himself.

And Xiao Heng is there waiting for her... and she runs to him... and takes his hand... and they smile at each other. Right in front of Shen Yurong. Like, in your face, motherfucker! 😂

Ahhhh the handholding! I diiieeeeee!! They're holding hands still all the way in the carriage... and it turns out it's because he's clinging onto her like she'll vanish if he let's go! 😂😭 She persuades him to loosen his grip just a bit and they slot their fingers together and I am DYING. This shit is more romantic than any fucking kiss scene!! 😁😁

Look at his face!!!

He's like a gotdamn schoolboy who's gotten to hold hands with his crush for the first time!!

Me right now:

Holy shit, papa Jiang actually stepping up (too little too late) and saying he knows she doesn't trust him because of him letting her down in the past, but to tell him if there's anything he can do to help.

Like, I doubt it dude but hey, you at least (kinda) tried I guess?

He has at least grown some braincells though and learned that she usually has good reasons to do what she does. Saying he trusts her (and doesn't need an explanation if she's not able to give one) is actually a pretty big step for him - lookit, he's actually trying to be some kind of decent parent to his child!!

[frogspond200]

𝚆𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚐

Requested by: @mayordebbie

Ask: Winter King and child reader platonic

Warning: none

Summary: Y/N is a 7 year old girl who lived with her physical and emotional abusive parents. Because of them, Y/N wanted to escape the painful misery of reality. She discovered a portal and went through it. She stepped into the world of the winter kingdom where she met the Winter King. She immediately liked him and she wanted to stay with him forever and she views him as a way better and cooler father than her biological father could ever be (you can continue the rest)

──────────────────

Y/N's life was filled with pain and misery due to her physically and emotionally abusive parents. Every day, she yearned for an escape from her painful reality.

One fateful day, while exploring the woods near her home, Y/N stumbled upon a hidden portal. Curiosity sparked within her, and without hesitation, she stepped through the portal, leaving her old life behind.

To her astonishment, Y/N found herself in a breathtaking winter kingdom, where snowflakes danced in the air and icicles glistened like diamonds. As she wandered through this magical land, she came face to face with the Winter King, a majestic figure with a crown of gold and a warm smile.

The Winter King sensed Y/N's pain and loneliness, and he immediately felt a connection with the young girl. He saw the strength and resilience within her, and he knew he could offer her the love and care she had always longed for.

Y/N, captivated by the Winter King's kindness and warmth, quickly formed a deep bond with him. She saw in him the father figure she had always yearned for, someone who would protect and guide her through life's challenges.

In the winter kingdom, Y/N discovered a world filled with wonder and enchantment. The Winter King became her mentor, teaching her about the beauty of nature, the importance of kindness, and the power of imagination.

Together, they embarked on thrilling adventures, exploring the snowy landscapes, meeting magical creatures, and unraveling the secrets of the winter kingdom. The Winter King's gentle guidance helped Y/N heal from the wounds of her past, instilling in her a newfound sense of self-worth and resilience.

As the years passed, Y/N grew older, but her bond with the Winter King remained as strong as ever. Though she knew she couldn't stay in the winter kingdom forever, the lessons she learned and the love she received from the Winter King would forever shape her life.

(I feel like I was telling her bedtime story)

[giuliadesu]

you were 24 when you feared the worst.

… & THEN?

a grand total of five years composed the relationship atsumu and you shared. it grew and matured with the both of you, changing but never faltering.

atsumu realized it was not easy loving you at a distance. not being able to hug you, hold your hand, come to your apartment or having you snuggle into his side hurt him in a way that was almost physical. whenever you cried on the phone with him, his first instinct was to go and purchase the first plane ticket to your city — knowing full well that it would’ve made you angry because you didn’t want him to miss his obligations just for you (oh, if only you knew what he was willing to do for you…). after reaching that awareness two years prior, things got harder. it was difficult not to blurt out an i love you for whatever reason, or hide how lovestruck he looked whenever he noticed you wearing his clothes and when noting that the small pendant never left your neck.

at some point, he ended up confessing his feelings to his teammates, who remained completely astonished — yes, they noticed how the setter behaved differently with you, but they would have never expected for him to be so madly  in love, let alone for such a long period of time! so many things made sense, yet no one had the courage to tell him that you may reciprocate his feelings. they wisely decided it was up to the two of you.

and what about you? well, you graduated from your bachelor's and completely cut ties with your family (especially when they got mad at you after they discovered you were not becoming a doctor or a lawyer). at 23 you graduated from your master’s in japanese language and culture, and in the same year you enrolled in a videogame academy to study game design. despite being financially stable and self-sufficient, a certain someone made you believe you had won a full scholarship for the three-years course of your choosing — when in reality he paid it off so you could keep on saving money for things that were really important (and maybe he was being a bit spiteful towards the behaviour of your parents). now you were breezing through your last year, happy and feeling satisfied with your career choices. the only thing keeping you up at night was a nagging feeling in your heart.

deep down, you perfectly knew what was the cause: atsumu. or the lack of, to be more precise.

after so many years, you concluded that it would have been impossible to get rid of your feelings. yet, deep down, you were scared: atsumu was incredibly talented and handsome; his position as one of the most sought-after volleyball players meant his face was plastered everywhere. his social media were probably blowing up with pretty ladies who only wanted to exploit his income and fame. but, if something like that would have made him happy, you were willing to bury your first  love in a secluded recess of your heart.

so, when some scoops and paparazzi shots of him with a girl made their way to your feed on twitter, you froze. despite all your thoughts of wanting to be happy for him regardless of your own emotions, you could feel a cold, solitary drop of sweat running in the middle of your back. before going on with your day, you shot a message to osamu, asking him if he knew anything about it (but making him promise not to tell anything to his twin). then, you simply ignored your phone all day long  — although you could feel it vibrate in your backpocket.

when you went to sleep later that night, you still hadn’t checked your notifications, and for the first time in a long, long time, you spent the day in  complete silence.

ŌSAKA, 19:45

one of the most important matches of the season was about to start for the msby. yet, the air in the locker room felt tense and almost rough. 

no one had ever seen atsumu that tense before. he had dark circles under his eyes, looked incredibly tired and was not showcasing his usual bubble of adrenaline prior to a challenge. it was an almost scary sight that left the other jackals rather perplexed.

“everythin’ okay, tsum-tsum?”

bokuto was the only one daring enough to pose the question. it was rare to see the setter silently sitting on the wooden bench, arms resting on his thighs and head hanging low; the silence that permeated the locker room was concerning. the sound of knocking on a door brought the athletes to divert their attention from their teammate. coach foster was standing in the doorway, a grave look on his features.

“it’s time to get on the court.”

three and a half hours later, the jackals walked out defeated. despite the victory of the other team, there was no cheering, just a deafening silence — no one expected the favorite team from ōsaka to lose, yet to some with a keen eye for details it might have been evident: their game was off; the services were either a bit too early or too late, their smashes not strong enough, their blocks never tall enough.

it was not their first time losing a match, and it certainly wouldn’t have been the last, yet it stung badly. the jackals went to their lockers in complete silence. atsumu opened the metal door to his own small set of shelves, retrieving the duffel bag and his three piercings (the two snakebites and the helix on his right ear), wearing them again; they were a gift from you for his graduation — dainty black metal with a small 13 engraved on the side of each hoop. no words were shared as he made his way outside, where his motorbike was waiting in the parking lot.

just outside the stadium, aran and suna blocked his way. they knew exactly what had happened; actually, they were aware of both sides of the story: when those pictures were leaked, they received concerned messages from the other jackals, asking them to check on you. the answer they got when calling you was enough to convince them to reveal everything they knew to the blond setter, before things escalated further.

“i do love him, and exactly because of that if he’s happier with someone else, i’m okay with giving up on him.” 

“you do realize she has no idea about what is going on, right?”

suna’s voice was not cold and was not bearing an accusing tone, yet atsumu felt as if he was burning.

“yeah? then why would she disappear like that? no text, not message left, she vanished into thin air. were these last five years really that meaningless?!”

“open twitter.”

a perplexed gaze landed on aran when he spoke. nonetheless, the setter obliged. scrolling back to the beginning of the day, he found the post where he had been tagged multiple times; that was indeed him with a random girl for whom he just happened to hold the door open when leaving the jva offices, but apparently the tabloids didn’t care.

“fuck.”

 “yeah, fuck indeed. she’s letting you go because she loves you, and she wants you to be happy, even if it hurts her. in a month and a half she’ll be moving here, and as of now she’s spent the last twelve hours crying like a baby because she thinks she’ll be alone again. you better call her and explain everything yourself, we’ve already said more than enough.”

after his best friends left him alone again, he jumped on his black vehicle and sped towards the bay area. he needed some time to think.

throwing the helmet on the concrete, he started running laps on the rocky beach. adrenaline was finally bubbling in his veins, albeit a bit too late to win the match. you loved him? he felt so stupid for not noticing it earlier. thinking back to the last year, it had been so obvious: the way you wore his clothes, how you kissed the red string, the thousands of ways you were always by his side whenever he needed you the most. you loved him and were willing to give up everything just to be close to him, even if it hurt you in the process.

sitting down, exhausted, he felt warm tears running down his cheeks. the last time he cried was when he and osamu had a fight right after high school, when his twin confessed to him he wanted to leave the volleyball path to focus on his culinary career. it felt like a life ago.

the sound of the waves was comforting, in the rhythmic way they crashed on the shore, bringing with them the salty perfume typical of the ocean. the sweeping breeze was rather welcome, helping to dry the tears currently streaming down his cheeks. atsumu didn’t even bother changing out of his uniform, just throwing the jersey over his short sleeved shirt. now calmer compared to when he left the stadium, he fished out his phone to write a quick message to kuroo, asking him to deal with the paparazzi and have those pictures and articles taken down as soon as possible, also with damage compensation.

a new notification was sitting on his screen. from you. it was a short message, but it warmed his heart in a way he never imagined possible. he was so glad to know you were not throwing to the winds the relationship you were nurturing.

“i’m so sorry. if you want to talk, i’m here.”

he wanted to do more than talk. he wanted to hug you, wrap himself around you and hold you close to his chest so that you could hear his beating heart, two sizes too big just because he was close to you; wanted to hold your face in his hands and kiss your tears away, whispering sweet nothings and reassuring you that he would not  leave you — not now, nor ever.

shooting you a quick reply (with a small heart at the end), atsumu went back to his black helmet, decorated with the msby stripes, and the matching vehicle; a soft smile finally made is way over to his face, imagining how nice it would feel to take you out for a midnight tour of the city on his bike, your arms around his waist and you sitting snuggly and safely behind him. 

the clock showed it was almost two in the morning by the time he reached home. atsumu started to feel the tiredness in his bones, yet there were more important things he had to do — the following day would have been dedicated to rest anyway, he didn’t have to worry about anything else now. the setter took a quick shower and then headed for the kitchen.

without thinking twice, he unlocked the ipad sitting on its stand on the counter and dialled your number for a facetime. few seconds passed and your pretty face appeared on the screen. your eyes were puffy and red; so suna wasn’t lying when he said you’d been crying for many hours. once the connection had been established between your devices, your vision became glossy again.

“atsumu i’m so so sorry for today. when i saw that article i got scared an-”

“hey, it’s okay. suna and aran… they kinda told me what happened. i should’ve checked in with you sooner. damn, i’m such an asshole! so out of the loop of social media that i didn’t know a thing about those pics.”

he saw your face slightly light up from the revelation. softening his voice, atsumu decided it was a good moment to share a bit of what was going on in his heart and mind.

“it’s you that i want in my life, not another person — and if it’s not you then i don’t want anything.”

two blushing messes were staring at one another. with just a few words, all that happened was left behind, albeit not forgotten: fears could creep up at the least expected moments, and it was a valuable lesson that both parties learned the hard way. luckily for you, the sentiment blossoming in your hearts was stronger than any fear, any doubt or slightly negative thought. after all, isn’t this what love does best? bring people together through their hardest and darkest times. atsumu and you had a very clear and tangible demonstration of that.

“‘tsumu, can i make it up to you somehow? i wanted to be there for you when you lost, but was too selfish and scared to reach out…”

your voice was soft and timid, but your eyes were filled with a determination springing directly from your heart and from the two small material objects that linked you and the setter (the silk bracelet and the necklace).

“you don’t have to. but if you really insist, sleep with me on the phone? so we can talk a little bit.”

after all, you could only spend that much time separated from one another; and having you close while you took a nap was all that the setter needed to be even more sure of his feelings and his future actions.

TOGETHER FOREVER, NEVER APART — MAYBE IN DISTANCE BUT NEVER AT HEART

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honorable mentions

@arquitecturadelanada | @cup-of-fluff | @kyopmi | @melancholicautumnfever | @ohtokki

taglist

@alienvarmint | @cloud-lyy | @mommyourcall420 | @opalloveworld | @voidshoutsback

© giuliadesu. please do not copy, translate, use in videos or reupload on other platforms and sites. it is strictly forbidden to feed any part of my content to ai.

[maximaxstreasurebox]

BSD Untold Origins: Anime VS Novel (1)

FINALLY ANIME ADAPTATION YESS- This is my fav BSD light novel and I'm so happy season 4 starts with it!! There's obviously moments and LOTS of, LOTS OF dialogue cut from anime to squish it within (most likely) 2 episodes...

Since I finally have the physical copy of the novel (from YenPress), I thought of comparing the changes/cut-out moments between anime & the light novel version..

When I say a lots of text/dialogue, ITS IS A LOT, so I'll also need to cut out most part to lessen the length of this post ^^" I covered the first half of episode 1,,, Obviously season 4, light novel, and (bit of) manga spoilers!

Gifs © @the-chikyuu-times

(Part 2)

Around that time, there were rumors of a highly competent bodyguard in Yokohama. Give him a sword, and he could kill a hundred villains. Give him a spear, and he could take on an entire army. [...] If one had to name a flaw, it would be that he never worked with others on the job and trusted no one. In short, he was a lone wolf. [...] His name - Yukichi Fukuzawa.

This brief tale is a record of one man's struggle, of his growth - and of parenting. -Page 57

Episode starts with an bonus scene that is easily missed when first-time watching (due to hype lol), a phone call from Fukuchi (Gen'ichiro is the real name of the IRL author, and nickname(?) in BSD)

This added scene is mind-blowing in a sense that in the manga, we just got more backstory of Fukuzawa & Fukuchi's past, so this must has been planned out a long time ago, and it will be used as a throwback when anime gets to the *coughs* current events..

[...] However, he wasn't exactly in a bad mood. He was drowning in self-loathing. His client had been assassinated, and it was all very sudden. [...] She was a certain company's president who he'd sworn to guard only a few days prior. They had never talked outside of work. Fukuzawa made it a point to avoid getting personally involved with his clients,[...] However, he was once asked if he wanted to become a full-time bodyguard. Hating the idea of working for a specific company and having subordinates and colleagues made it easy for Fukuzawa to instantly decline the offer. [...] -Page 58

[...] While the victim's body had already been taken away for examination, there was no hiding the enormous bloodstain on the ground.

[...] The secretary, a sickly-looking man dressed in a black coat and a crimson necktie, was lining up some of the papers across the room. He stared at the field of paper, pulled a few files out, and returned them to the bookshelf before lining up some more documents. -Page 59

"What?" Fukuzawa uttered in astonishment. "Is the suspect still next door?" "He's very quiet, so quiet you might think he was sleeping. Almost as if he's given up." -Page 60

Between "He's very quiet" and "I would like to see the assassin" convo is a paragraph about Yokohama being a lawless district, 'city of demons', 'lawbreaker's paradise', and the existent of skill users in the world.

[...] However, bodyguards for important people, such as Fukuzawa, were very familiar with them, [...] . While Fukuzawa was a master of the martial arts, he was not a skill user. [...] -Page 60

After asking to see the assassin, there's literally little more than 3 pages of Fukuzawa (slightly) bickering with the secretary about the papers on the floor lmaoo-

"Mind if I move some of these?" Fukuzawa asked, pointing at the documents. "Oh! Stop! Don't touch them!" "[...] Please find a way past them without touching or shifting them! I know someone as talented as you can do it!" Fukuzawa stopped just short of uttering, "Uh... Excuse me?" [...] - Page 62

His way of getting to the next room is describe as he leaps from a bookshelf and ornament(s), then landing on a guest chair with his hands, using one leg and arm to balance between the documents and reaching for the door and turned the knob with his fingers only, then using the door as balance he jumps into the room.

Probably the biggest change is the way the room arranged, the description of the assassin, and what Fukuzawa does in light novel.

[...] The assassin's hands and feet were bound, and the thick, dark sack over his head prevented Fukuzawa from being able to see his face. [...] Tied around his arms and legs was iron wire in addition to the rope. [...] He didn't appear to be any more than a run-of-the-mill bandit who was good at sneaking into buildings.

[...] This was the reception room. The only items in the room were a simple bookshelf, a table to discuss business, and a painting. [...] - Page 65

Fukuzawa hits the wall behind the assassin, no reaction. He knows after this that he's not an amateur. He keeps observing the assassin, no guess of his name or possible ability. On a small desk in the corner of the room are the pistols, changes, and pick locks. Fukuzawa pickes up a fountain pen on the desk, tests its writiblity, then using the pen as it was sword, he gets into a stance. The assassin reacts. Upon Fukuzawa stricking with the 'sword' (pen), he hops to the side while tied to chair and slams to the ground. Fukuzawa thinking about the reaction differences, then returns to the office.

"Greetings!" It was an energetic voice, reminiscent of clucking chicken. [...] He appeared to be around fourteen or fifteen years old [...] -Page 68

"[...] Oh! Also, I ran into a seagull on the way here. Good thing they're so nasty, huh? It grossed me out so much I ended up giving it one of my rice balls before I could stop myself." [...] "You're seriously never heard of a seagull before? Freaky-looking rats with wings, those things." [...] -Page 70

"Ack! Wait, wait, wait! Stop right there!" [...] ...the secretary grabbed the boy by the shoulder, barely stopping him in time. The boy stared at him, puzzled, [...] -Page 71

"Sheesh, just look at the mess you made here. I get that you didn't want anyone to search the room, but...this? Adults puzzle me. What a puzzling world we live in!" -Page 72

Ranpo keeps pushing and kicking away the papers, secretary is freaking out.

"Old guy"... Fukuzawa was about to counter with "I'm only thirty-two years old!" but he furrowed his brows, more curious about the last part of the boy's sentence. -Page 74

"After all, you're the one who killed her, Mr.Secretary." "...What?" The secretary tilted his head to the side, mouth agape. "...What?" The secretary tilted his head to the side, mouth agape. "...What?" The secretary tilted his head to the side, mouth agape. His head was almost completely perpendicular to the floor. "Why did you just say the same thing three times in a row? I swear, adults make absolutely no sense sometimes." [...] -Page 75

[...] "If my mother were here, she'd already have the criminal tied up and tossed out the window!" [...] You're joking, right? What is this? A test? Do I get points for every obvious detail I lint in the end? Sigh. The city really is a mystery to me." -Page 76

I can't stress enough the amount of times Ranpo talking about why the world & adult are confusing!! Basically the secretary framed the assassin he hired. He killed the president because the role of secretary wasn't enough for him.

The fight is similar, slight change is that Fukuzawa have more control, immobilize him using martial art techniques, while the bigger change is that all that moves that Oda does are done WHILE HE WAS STILL WEARING THE SACK. The secretary got killed the same way. Fukuzawa slams the assassin against the floor, and disarms him. He takes the sack off and finally recognizes Oda.

[...] The boy's dark-brown eyes were frighteningly vacant, void of even a fragment of emotion. [...] -Page 84

[vahalia-cress]

For your character -

How might one go about garnering your attention, were one to desire to court you?

“Court me? My darling shadow, once you’ve passed through enough doors you come to learn that many people tend to have much of the same desires: a happy marriage, a white picket fence, being financially stable, and children running in the yard. I suppose the idea of companionship isn’t something that is hard to imagine nor is the concept of a happy life but I’ve been married once and it never panned out well for me or them in the end. I’ve fallen off of the proverbial wagon in the dating or courting sense. Courtship is unlikely to happen unless someone proposed details to me that could not be ignored or overlooked, something entirely impossible for me to walk away from. I cannot say for certain what those might be or provide an adequate example but I suppose that is where creativity comes in. If someone desires something bad enough they’ll seek it without restraint and make no apologies.

But if I were to entertain the notion of a possible courtship, the easy answer would be that I would prefer intellectuals. Someone who is a leader and not a follower, someone who can be proactive enough for me to consider them an equal in many senses of the word. Ambition is important, being able to view circumstances and situations and navigate through them with a level head. I would want someone calculating and unapologetic in who they are as an individual. 

Speaking of individualism, I would hope they had enough to separate their desires from mine and not constantly adopt my own as theirs as well. Boundaries, understanding, methodical and critical thinking in difficult situations. The ability to be able to assist in running a Household as well as a business. Speaking one’s mind without looking to omit key details or seeking to buffer things because they’re afraid of recourse or rejection. Someone who can admirably be their true self, the ugly pieces of themself as well as the good pieces of themselves. I’ve made the mistake once of trusting a person’s words in hopes that their actions would meet the expectations but alas, I wouldn’t be divorced now if any of the previous occurred. In short, I’m a difficult woman to please with high expectations and not many people have been able to live up to those. However, few people have astonished me before and I cannot entirely rule it out that it might not happen in this particular case.

I have a lot of baggage and components to my life that require a plethora of understanding and commitment, depending if the person inquiring can handle such. So tell me, dear lurker, do you plan on remaining in the shadows now that you have an answer because you do not meet the requirements, or, now that you have an answer, do you have every box checked off to make a valid approach?”

Thank you Anon! The question pertains to this prompt/ask meme.

[lumpyorgan4799]

Dennis Nilsen notes: 

“How to explain the irresistible compulsion to join the sea, to be part of it, to sink into the solace of its company? His mother would think him mad! A love for sea has never ceased to feed his imagination in the years since he left Scotland. “I am at one with visions of breaks in the dark wild sky,’ he writes. “With heavenly shafts of light searching the grumbling sea.” > pg. 51 || indicative of the SX instinct 

‘Dennis, however, rarely participated or joined in; still melancholic and drawn to the sea, he formed no close friendships with the children of his new neighbourhoods.’ 

‘He was, in the local word, a ‘Skowkie’ child, unsmiling and resentful of questioning adults, to whom he gave a clear impression of disgust and reserve.’ > 

Dennis confirmed that he felt cold towards the family  — there wasn’t anyone he had positive feelings for except for his grandfather. > 

‘In those days, I could hate my stepfather, Adam Scott very easily. I was, I suppose, very jealous of him having a relationship with my mother. 

‘I was a very lonely and turbulent child. I inhabited my own secret world full of ideal and imaginary friends. Nature had mismatched me from the flock.’ > Ni + enneagram image 4 + E5 influence 

In spite of Dennis having school-mates, he would often wander the fields and woods alone  — lost in his own thoughts and head. 

‘He felt inferior and ashamed; he did not dare approach him, but merely hovered in the playground watching him and trying to get near him, his legs quivering like jelly.”  > SO 4

‘He was a frail and skinny boy, very self-conscious, introverted, and shy’

. ‘then he must indulge his secret emotions in private, where the imagination rules  — not reality.’ > enneagram 5w4 

‘Dennis was aroused by the image of himself, but of himself only as a dead man. Love and death were becoming dangerously mingled in his mind, as he remembered the image of his adored dead grandfather.’ > image type 4 (idealism of own self). Quietly in the quarters of his mind, Dennis was dead, too. 

‘Dennis especially enjoyed the free ambiance of equality, which accorded well with his rapidly developing sense of idealism in political matters.’  

‘His mother recalls that he would stay up late listening to music and writing poetry. He was a moody uncommunicative stranger in the house.’ > strong BETA NF (EIE/IEI) 

‘So the endless search for companionship continued.’ > SX INSTINCT 

‘Motivated by a strong social conscience, he quickly became immersed in the task and it was not long until he was a branch secretary’ 

‘Work became an obsessive substitute for an empty life, and since he seemed unable to convey his concern for individuals in any way which they understood or could accept, he would devote his concern to the nebulous concept of mankind in general’. 

‘He was too keen, too impulsive, too angry; they wondered what deep irritations fed his manic eagerness.’ > high neuroticism (big 5) 

Dennis was no diplomat; he was impatient of the strategy whereby an important objective was attained by subtle means. > Te frustration 

in their view, he was volatile and excitable, and although they could not fault his work (indeed, he worked harder than most). 

He was not, and never would consent to be, submissive. On the contrary, he fought with ever increasing vigour to break, bend, or divert the rules which he seemed to think were being applied for his personal chastisement. > Enneagram 8 + Se (socionics) 

He was meticulously efficient and a workaholic 

his demeanour was confusing; he could be abrupt, short-tempered, impatient, and driven by a need to talk without pause, or even better to argue. He was passionate in debate. When aroused, he would be wonderfully sarcastic. On the other hand, he was at times docile, generous and kind. 

There were plenty of occasions when he generated real laughter. On the other hand, he was secretive and erratic. 

One of the most astonishing aspects of the case is Nilsen’s ability to go about his daily work with energy and enthusiasm, to go out for drinks, walk the dog, and even entertain people peacefully at his flat. All while there was a collection of bodies under his floor or cupboard. > low Si (socionics) 

[the-suitable-poet]

!(A letter to my future self)

As 2023 nears its end, with just a month remaining, and just two days away from my birthday, this moment, the opener of the last month, brings with it a hangover from the year, a realisation that I am no longer the same person I once was.

This year, in particular, has been a been quite a ride for me. From changing my address to changing the whole trajectory of my life, it has experienced it all. Receiving my Spotify wrap-up for the year, I'm reminded of the magic of music – how it can evoke the deepest of emotions, reliving the highest highs and the lowest lows. These songs have become a soundtrack to a year of transformation, from a self-destructive lifestyle to one disciplined by necessity.

It's astonishing how much one can experience in a year. This year has made me realise the breadth of time – how in just twelve months, life can flip upside down, leaving you a stranger to the person you were at the year's start.

Is every year like this? Probably not!! Does it happen often? Nope!! So, what makes it special? The tapestry of memories, decisions, reactions, and everything in between.

I'm not here to tally my achievements or losses. In fact, writing this down is a first for me. But for once, let's not keep score, let's not try to get one better, try not to reach somewhere. Instead, let's embrace the moment and recognise ourselves. Find that inner calm that others can sense. Be unconventional – be a monk with a stylish haircut, be a priest in shorts and a T-shirt or a father in jeans and a hoodie. If it's hard to imagine, then be the one to break the mold. Be the outlaw, the outcast, the nerd who knows nothing of Star Wars or the MCU.

In life, we should allow ourselves the simple joys – laugh a little, cry a little, sleep a little, walk a little. When you find yourself at a crossroads, dare to take the road less traveled. Maybe you will find something interesting, some long lost memory, a forgotten friends, someone you were madly in love once, something you didn't even knew you had.

Be curious to explore beyond your comfort zone. Set sail on new adventures, for each journey is a quest to find the missing piece of your life's puzzle.

Life's meaning isn't something to be found but experienced. Embrace the chaos of possibilities, much like a chessboard at the start of a game. With every move, new worlds of possibility unfold. Chess, like life, is an intricate dance of choices and consequences, endless in its variations.

Never underestimate the importance of the seemingly small. You might have missed those particular opportunities that led you to become an Olympic shooter, or a traveller, or a vineyard owner, or a rock star, or a planet-saving physicist, or an IIT graduate, or the million other things, but you are still in some way all of those people.

As you age, you'll realise that much of what once seemed important fades into insignificance. Emptiness isn't a void; it's a canvas for existence. Use it to shape your life's meaning.

We are all just wandering through the tundra of our existence, assigning value to worthlessness, when all that we love and hate, all we believe in and fight for and kill for and die for is as meaningless as images projected onto a screen.

These thoughts might seem disjointed, but perhaps that's the essence of life – a puzzle we're all trying to solve. Our lives are a tapestry of reactions, decisions, and their consequences.

Life is a kaleidoscope – it's anything and everything you want it to be. A topsy-turvy ride, a roller-coaster ride, a ride full of useless decisions and nonsense reactions, a life full of regrets and mistakes, and it still can be a life worth living for.

And if you think you can ask me questions and get some sense out of all the things I have written so far, well, I will think about it tomorrow, for tomorrow is just another day.

[fincalinde]

thank you so much for all your great jgy meta! i know you mostly post about xiyao, but i was wondering if you had any thoughts on su she?

I'm embarrassed! I'm blushing!

Seriously thanks though. I'd write just as much meta about LXC on his own if people asked me about it, since neither character is represented in particularly grounded ways by fandom. But JGY is the one who is the recipient of a baffling amount of hate, so I do tend to write about him on his own more.

But OK, it's Minshan's turn. I'm sure you'll be astonished that I don't think I've seen much if any textually-grounded portrayals of SMS. I'm not going to write an entire thesis on how to write him in a way that's consistent with what we see in canon, but I'll highlight a couple of points I think are notable and should be taken into account when writing him.

Gaslight

I like SMS and I think he's actually really interesting. I really try not to look over the parapet much in fandom, but obviously considering my interests I've been exposed to a lot more material on the subject of SMS and JGY than the subject of SMS and LWJ. I think SMS' weird hate-filled parasocial obsession with LWJ shouldn't be neglected when writing him. SMS wants to be LWJ but he hates the idea of anyone thinking he wants to be LWJ. SMS founded his own clan which means he must have a wife and children (and concubines too for all I know), but if he's feeling gay feelings for anyone it's probably LWJ.

LWJ represents SMS' fragile sense of self; SMS doesn't simply want to succeed outside the Lan, he wants to be a better Lan than the Lan. But he can't admit that to himself, so he reacts with fury whenever the comparison is made. My personal read on SMS is that his LWJ obsession doesn't have a sexual element, but it wouldn't necessarily be inconsistent with what we do see of him. Still, I think the more grounded read is that his LWJ obsession is the mirror of his relationship with JGY. Don't forget, the Moling Su would have crashed and burned not long after being founded if JGY hadn't intervened and supported them. He is very happy to be JGY's subordinate because JGY treats him with respect (which I speculate also means politely never drawing attention to the fact that SMS is baring his neuroses to the entire world by cosplaying as LWJ). Meanwhile LWJ, who has never respected SMS and will never respect him, inspires the opposite: SMS is desperate to best LWJ despite knowing deep down it's never going to happen.

Gatekeep

Let's get this out of the way: the relationship between JGY and SMS is firmly situated in the master-servant dynamic. Suffice to say that SMS is doggedly loyal to JGY in a supportive capacity, and the core of their relationship is reflected in its origins: JGY as a benevolent master and SMS as a devoted lackey. SMS is loyal to JGY because JGY treated him with kindness and support at a time when he was extremely politically vulnerable. JGY's kindness towards SMS is a combination of his usual politeness, hospitality and excellent memory, and his political support of SMS is a savvy move of its own as it nets him an ally who is loyal to him as a person rather than to the Jin as a whole.

My read on JGY's tears when SMS dies is that they're sincere both in the sense that he'll grieve SMS and also that he's just lost his best and most loyal servant. There's no indication he's lost a dear friend, and it's important to also remember his casual 'thanks' when SMS offers to sacrifice himself. SMS is, again, making this sacrifice as a lackey not as a friend of equal standing or a potential lover.

I like SMS fine and I really like his relationship with JGY. JGY obviously trusts him deeply but they both appear happy with the master-servant dynamic and haven't in all their years of collaboration moved towards the kind of warm and intimate friendship JGY has with LXC. Knowing JGY's secrets does not necessarily mean being closest to JGY emotionally.

Girlboss

We get a lot of conflicting information in canon about SMS' power level and talents, so it's not surprising that portrayals of him in fandom vary from incompetent to underestimated genius. I think what can sometimes be missing from these reads is an awareness of context.

One of the main things I've seen raised as evidence that SMS is actually a gifted cultivator is his utilisation of the transportation talisman. Being able to teleport in this manner is very difficult because of the large amount of power it requires. So, fair enough, there's no doubt that SMS has access to a decent amount of raw power. He's prospered alongside JGY so it's not surprising he's been able to develop his cultivational reserves and/or strengthen his core.

This doesn't really indicate that his strength is exceptional, though. The way these moments play out, it seems that cultivators at or above that power level are around. This is an impressive feat but it's not an astonishing one. Portraying SMS as weak contradicts canon, but I can't see any evidence that he's exceptionally strong in the context not just of the jianghu but of the (for the most part) exceptionally powerful cultivators who comprise much of the main cast.

So SMS is definitely a reasonably powerful cultivator, which again is to be expected considering the resources available to him (education amongst the Lan, the patronage of JGY). But it doesn't necessarily follow that SMS himself is exceptional.

SMS and the Moling Su practise similar and/or identical techniques to the Lan and canonically are inferior musicians. There's room for some subjectivity here insofar as we know that at the Burial Mounds the variations in their playing are dismissed by the Lan as standard incompetence when what is actually happening is that the blended melody technique is being used to drain their spiritual power. I think this kind of thing is why SMS is read by some as being more gifted than the text initially indicates.

However. The disguised melody technique is a technique invented by JGY. JGY specifically develops this technique in order to blend Turmoil and Cleansing when playing for NMJ. I sincerely doubt that conveniently SMS came up with the same idea independently. It seems obvious to me that JGY is the one if not developing these specific variations and sharing them with the Su, then at least he has introduced SMS to the concept so that SMS can develop his own disguised melodies. The genius at work here is that of JGY.