#the second one leading to his kidnapping and subsequent torture

[toshidou]

just binge watched all 4 hunger games movies and 2014 me has ripped its way to the surface to scream about how much she loves peeta mellark

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Christmas and New Year's Eve 2023 Pt 1: New Bookmarks and WiPs

Happy holidays everyone! Let's get into the holiday spirit with some new Christmas fics I've recently added to my Bookmarks and MFL lists! LOTS of stories, so this list is split up into two lists! PLEASE check out the lists below for past bookmarks and MFLs! If you have a WORK IN PROGRESS that you'd like added to this list, PLEASE add them in the replies/reblogs and I'll add them to subsequent posts of this list!

The second list posting shortly is my MFL list, so if you have a finished fic you'd like me to add to the lists, please add them to the next post!

Thank you so much!! <3 Merry Christmas!!

[PART TWO]

See also:

Christmas Fics (Dec. 2017)

Christmas: Oblivious That One or The Other is In a Relationship

Christmas 2019 Part 1 (All Bookmarks XMas and New Years)

Christmas 2019 Part 2 (Marked for Later)

G / T / K+ Rated Christmas Fics (Dec. 2018) (Updated Dec 2021)

Community Recs: Christmas 2020 (Updated Dec 2021)

Christmas Trees / Decorating

Christmas-Time Love Confessions

New Year’s Fics (Jan 2023)

Christmas 2023 Pt 2: Marked for Later

BOOKMARKS

Santa Knows by Itsallfine (T, 1,719 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas Party, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Matchmaking, POV Sherlock, Pining Sherlock) – Sherlock and John both get exactly what they want from the Yard's secret Santa exchange. Pure holiday fluff.

The Way to Start the New Year by glass_rose_paperweight (G, 4,251 w., 1 Ch. || New Year's Eve, Fluff, Pining John) – On New Year's Eve, Sherlock drags John to America for a case, much to John's frustration. However, a mistake in booking looks like it might lead to an even worse New Year's Even than John originally thought ... or, maybe it's just what the boys need.

This Year by DiscordantWords (T, 6,283 w., 2 Ch. || TEH Divergence / No Mary, New Year’s Eve, John’s A Mess, Jealous John, Awkward Conversations, Trapped in a Closet, Estranged After Return, John POV, Semi-Reunion, Angry John, First Kiss, Reconciliation, Clueless Sherlock, Happy Ending) – Last year, Sherlock Holmes showed up at the Landmark with a fake moustache and a bad French accent and threw John's entire life into disarray with two words: "Not dead." This year, there are more surprises in store.

Wonderful, Etcetera. by VictoryCandescence (T, 16,955 w., 3 Ch. || Wonderful Life AU || Alternate Timelines, Brotherhood, Homophobia, Suicidal Ideations, Mentions of Drug Use, Friendship, Different TRF, Sherlock’s Past, Victor Trevor is Past Boyfriend, Depression, Hallucination?, Love Confessions, Christmas, First Kiss) – Sherlock thinks everyone would be better off if he had never existed, including and especially himself. When he finds himself in a world in which his wish has been granted, he begins to think perhaps even he could be wrong – but it takes an unlikely chaperone to make him not only observe, but understand.

Deck the Halls by itsalwaysyou_jw (T, 31,018 w., 24 Ch. || Advent Fic / Multiple One-Shots, Assorted Tags) – One Johnlock ficlet for every day leading up to Christmas. Who is ready for pining, first kisses, established Johnlock, and everything in between? This collection of stand-alone ficlets will have it all. 

Not Broken, Just Bent by Schmiezi (E, 87,585 w., 43 Ch. || Pining, Love Confessions, Rape/Sexual Assault, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Villain!Mary, Suicidal Ideations, Main Character Death, Sherlock First Person POV, Parentlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Love Making, Possessiveness, Depression, PTSD, Kidnapping, Virgin Sherlock, Eventual Happy Ending) – "For a second, I allow myself to remember teaching John how to waltz. There is a special room in my mind palace for it. A big one, with a proper parquet dance floor. For a second, I go there. I remember holding him, closer than the World Dance Council asks for, excusing it with the fact that we are training for a wedding, not for a competition. For a second, I feel his hand on mine again, smell his sweat, hear the song we used. For a second, I allow myself to love him deeply. For a second, only a second, that love reflects on my face." Fix-it for S3, starting at the end of TSoT. Evil Mary.

Bakers with Benefits by Raina_at (E, 88,130 w., 14 Ch. || Great British Bake Off AU || Strangers to Lovers, Switchlock, Friends with Benefits, Mentions of Alcoholism / Past Drug Use, Banter, Flirting, Fluff, Light Angst, Semi-Public Sex, Past Sherlock/Victor, Mutual Pining, POV Sherlock, Obsessive Sherlock, John’s Bum) – Sherlock Holmes has a successful YouTube baking channel, but what he really wants is his own bakery. When an old friend sends him a call for the very first Great British Bake Off, he seizes the opportunity to finally win a sponsor for his bakery. Here's the plan: Win Bake Off, get the bakery, don't fall in love with the handsome Army doctor at the neighbouring station. Easy.

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) –Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

WORKS IN PROGRESS

Christmas with You by hey_there_buddy (NR, 3,258+ w., 11/? Ch. || WiP || Christmas, Marriage Proposal, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Established Relationship, Waltzing, Morning Kisses) – Sherlock wants to propose John and he came up with his own idea.

From the First Time That I Saw You by BookGirlWithLove (E, 6,813+ w., 4/16 Ch. || WiP || Actor John AU || Christmas, Meet Cute) – Sherlock Holmes very rarely paid any attention to popular culture. He didn’t listen to the radio or watch telly. He seldom watched films. Unless that film had a certain actor in it. A certain actor who, while he might not be on everyone’s favourite list, was most certainly on Sherlock’s. In fact, he was the only celebrity to ever give Sherlock pause, which said a lot. That actor was John Watson. Who was currently standing in Sherlock’s sitting room, awkwardly holding two bottles of wine.

Christmas in Honeycutt by helloliriels (T, 25,768+ w., 12/16 Ch. || WIP || Christmas in Connecticut AU / WWII AU || Kidnapping, Spies / Secret Agents, Codes & Ciphers, Past Relationships, Developing Relationship, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending) – John's publisher asks if his family could entertain a war hero at their idyllic estate in Somerset for Christmas. Only ... John doesn't have a wife ... or a daughter. Or an estate. He has a bedsit. In London. And some wounds of his own to recover from ... but he can't tell his publisher that or he'll get fired … What's a writer to do? Cracking Codes. Super Spies. Sherlock in Disguise. A wild Christmas romance set in the countryside! Just what the doctor ordered! Part 6 of the Liriels Chaptered Fics series

The Prince of Hearts by prettysailorsoldier (M, 46,206+ w., 12/? Ch. || Modern Royalty AU || WiP || Matchmaker Sherlock, Prince John, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Sexual Tension, Mutual Pining, Christmas, Fluff) – Sherlock Holmes is making big waves in London as the head of a thriving matchmaking firm, his unconventional approach earning him the title 'The Chemist'. To Sherlock, love is in the data, a collection of variables plugged into equations to calculate the perfect match, but, when the royal family of the small country of Galerre hires him to find a spouse for the crown prince, he will find that some matters of the heart are not so easily solved.

Since First I Saw Your Face by Stavia_Scott_Grayson (M, 398,966+ w., 19/22 Ch. || WiP || ACD Canon / 1884 Victorian AU || Friends to Lovers, Pining, UST/URT, POV Sherlock, Christmas, Developing Relationship, Turkish Baths, Victorian Attitudes, Sussex Holiday, Cocaine, Holmes’ Childhood, Cold Cases, References to Canon) – During the Great Hiatus, Holmes, studying in Tibet, reflects on his first meeting with Dr John Watson.

[night-filled-mountain]

Captivity and Escape in Critical Role

So this post has been sitting in my drafts for about half a year. It’s about a persistent theme I noticed throughout campaign 2, which I’m sure others have noticed and written about before, but parallels and recurring themes have always been my Thing, and I couldn’t let it go. And with last week’s episode, and the campaign finale airing tonight, and the dominance of this theme being more glaringly obvious than ever, I thought I’d just give myself a treat and finish up a giant meta post. For old times’ sake.

So, just for the heck of it, here’s an exhaustive exploration of a single through-line of campaign 2 since the very beginning: captivity, and escaping or being freed from it.

Let’s start by taking a quick look at everyone’s backstories, the things that happened to them before the campaign even started, and how they were ultimately resolved. 

FJORD: Entered unknowingly and unwillingly into a pact with Uk’otoa, which bound him to perform services he never agreed to in exchange for powers he never asked for. Fjord did not know how he got into this pact or how to get out of it. He makes his escape when he pitches his sword into a lava river and pledges himself to the Wildmother.

JESTER: Spent the majority of her life “locked in her room” (or at least hidden from sight) until the consequences of one of her pranks forcibly liberated her into the wider world. While Jester loves her mother dearly and thinks of her long “captivity” as being for her own protection, its negative effects on her--loneliness, insecurity, a lack of worldly experience and social awareness--were still apparent, and she spends much of the campaign working through them.

BEAU: Her parents had her kidnapped by monks. It could be argued that even before the kidnapping, she was a prisoner to her father’s “over-protective” tendencies and her parents’ expectations when it came to her career, behavior, gender role, etc. But most significantly, she was very much kidnapped by monks, and made her escape from the Cobalt Soul shortly before we met her.

CALEB: Where to start? First he suffered coercion and abuse at the hands of Trent (a form of captivity); then he was made to torture and execute prisoners; then he spent eleven years literally imprisoned in an asylum, and had to kill and steal in order to escape; and four and a half years later, he met Nott when they were both thrown in jail (and had to engineer their own escape once again). Caleb’s ordeals ultimately made him a prisoner of his own guilt and fear, and escaping that prison has been the heart of his storyline.

VETH/NOTT: Besides the aforementioned stint in jail, the catalyst for her entire adventuring career was being captured by goblins along with her family--and then, after engineering the escape of her husband and son, being imprisoned in the wrong body (and subsequently enslaved!). The desire to escape from this second imprisonment was her driving motivation through much of the campaign. With Caleb’s help (and Essek’s, and Jester’s), she ultimately succeeds.

MOLLY: His first memory was of clawing his way out of a grave, which is just about as extreme a form of captivity and escape as you can get. More subtly, he was also a prisoner to the expectations placed on his body--to the life that body once lived, which he could not remember and refused to claim. Arguably (and tragically), his escape from this particular prison is his own death...until Cree resurrects Lucien, Mollymauk fragment and all. Then he presumably becomes a prisoner much like Yasha was, subsumed body and soul by a mind and a will that are not his own. Until last week.

... (incoherent sobbing)

Until last week.

YASHA: She was a prisoner to her clan’s laws and expectations. Her brief attempt to escape this prison through a forbidden marriage ended tragically, and then she was forced to make a second, literal escape (fleeing into the desert)--only to be (presumably) possessed by Obann, imprisoned inside her own mind, and forced to do his bidding until the Storm Lord liberated her once again.

CADUCEUS: When the gang first meet him, he’s literally a prisoner of his own fear (and/or inertia)--though his whole family has left the Blooming Grove, he’s been too afraid or hesitant to brave the corruption of the Savalirwood without companionship, and spent years isolated in the family temple as a result. The Mighty Nein (or rather, Caleb, Nott, Beau, Keg, and Nila) initiate his escape.

***

And that’s just the backstories! Now let’s take a look at each of the places the Mighty Nein have visited since they came together, and the story arcs therein.

***

TROSTENWALD - CARNIVAL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the (future) Mighty Nein and the other carnies from jail or house arrest. (Much later, the M9 come back to pay Gustav’s debt and liberate him as well.) And remember that Beau is especially sympathetic to Toya’s predicament because she, too, was once a young girl held somewhere against her will.

ALFIELD - GNOLL ARC: This arc’s entire goal is to free the citizens of Alfield who have been kidnapped by gnolls to feed to their manticore leader (and to kill off the gnolls and manticore to keep it from happening again).

ZADASH: The Mighty Nein’s first undertaking in Zadash is to kill off the giant spiders in the sewer. In the process, they free a halfling imprisoned in a spiderweb, which leads them to the Gentleman and all his future quests.

Aside from that, their biggest job in Zadash this time around is the High Richter heist--which, yes, is a mercenary/political job that goes terribly wrong, but why does it go terribly wrong? Because Ulog, the M9′s NPC ally at the time, is so furious over his wife being wrongfully imprisoned by the High Richter that he impulsively blows up both her and himself. And arguably the most poignant moment in the heist’s aftermath is Caleb speaking to the next High Richter, Dolan, and ensuring that Ulog’s wife will be freed.

Also, let’s not forget the drow the M9 meet in the sewer. The one they capture, interrogate, and ultimately...let go. Yes, he’s killed shortly afterward and his beacon falls into their hands, but I think it’s very important to remember that the decision they make, when holding a captive terrorist from an “enemy” nation, is to return his stolen artifact to him and let him walk away free.

LABENDA SWAMP/BERLEBEN: The most memorable events during this interlude are: (1.) The M9 literally freeing Kiri from the swamp, where she is stuck in the mud and at the mercy of crocodiles, and (2.) Bowlgate, a.k.a. Caleb and Beau’s tense confrontation over what to do with Calianna, which is once again fueled on Beau’s side by her sympathy for a young woman held against her will. (Caleb proposes that Cali spend the night with the M9, which she did not intend, so they can use spells to determine her truthfulness the next day.)

HUPPERDOOK: This one’s obvious: The M9 fight a deadly automaton to free two gnomes from prison and reunite them with their children (largely to prevent said children from being taken to an orphanage against their will).

GLORY RUN ROAD/SHADYCREEK RUN - IRON SHEPHERDS ARC: ...Even more obvious. The sole goal of the remaining M9 members (and Nila) throughout this arc is to free their friends from slavery. They end up slaughtering all the slavers and freeing several other captives as well.

LUSIDIAN OCEAN - PIRATE ARC: Here’s where things get really interesting. Because this whole arc is also about captivity and freedom, isn’t it?

It’s about whether or not to free a little old captive named Uk’otoa!

I haven’t given nearly enough thought to how this arc fits in with all the others thematically, considering its central lesson is that freeing this particular captive would be a very bad thing. I do think it’s significant that:

(1.) The beginning of this arc, which leaves the whole party feeling so bad and icky, involves them quite inadvertently taking a captive of their own--and one whom they don’t treat very well. (And still don’t, for that matter...poor Marius.)

(2.) Soon after that incident, the M9 are themselves effectively taken captive by Avantika and her crew. This situation doesn’t last nearly as long as many audience members (and quite possibly Matt, and quite possibly the players themselves!) thought it would, because they panic on Darktow, go all Wall of Fire, and free themselves in a huge, climactic, desperate battle. The Mighty Nein do not take well to captivity.

Anyhow, they follow all this up with...

FELDERWIN/XHORHAS - YEZA ARC: ...another very straightforward quest to free a captive. Not only is this arc all about rescuing Yeza from a Xhorhasian dungeon, but after Caleb returns the beacon, after the Bright Queen of Xhorhas offers the Mighty Nein anything they want...all they ask her for is to let them go.

BAZZOXAN & BEYOND - OBANN ARC: ...By now, you know where I’m going with this, right? The entire arc is about freeing Yasha from Obann, who has her imprisoned inside her own body, inside her own mind. There’s a reason That Moment in the cathedral hit so hard, right? “And as you close your eyes, you see yourself breaking the shackles. You see the influence no longer holding any sway over your soul. There's nothing but the storm, vengeance, and hope.”

(Bonus: In the middle of the above arc, we get the HAPPY FUN BALL - RESCUING YUSSA ARC, which, once again, is devoted to freeing a captive.)

KAMORDAH/CYRIOS MOUNTAINS - ISHARNAI ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Nott from the body in which she was imprisoned. Beau also has a bit of a freedom arc here: confronting the parents who imprisoned her figuratively and literally, turning her back on them (possibly for good), and then confronting a major source of the expectations and superstitions they shackled her with: Isharnai, who is neutralized by Jester’s cupcake.

THE MENAGERIE - CLAY ARC: Aimed entirely at freeing Caduceus’s family, who are imprisoned in perhaps the most literal way possible, being turned to stone. (The M9 also manage to liberate the Stone family while they’re at it.)

RUMBLECUSP - TRAVELER CON: Two great liberations take place here. First, all the residents of the Village of Vo are freed from Vokodo’s influence, their memories restored, their blind devotion dispelled, able once again to choose the course of their own lives. Second, the followers of the Traveler are freed from the deception he’s imposed on them, the cult he’s roped them into. Thanks to the Moonweaver’s interference, they, too, are free to make informed decisions. And I think we can also safely say that Artagan is freed from them, from the false “god” role he managed to box himself into, and he’s happier for it.

EISELCROSS - SOMNOVEM ARC: ...And this is it, folks. This is why I decided to finish this post today. Because I was openly not feeling the Eiselcross arc as an endgame. The hard slog through the elements just wasn’t doing it for me, or the frequent combat, or the increasingly complex lore, or the traditionally heroic quest to save the world from being swallowed by a monstrous city.

...Until last week. Until Lucien’s defeat. And Molly’s oh-so-improbable resurrection.

When I heard all the voices of the Somnovem whispering “Thank you” as their individual souls were freed from the Lovecraftian hivemind...when I heard Jester sobbing that at least Molly’s soul wasn’t “trapped” inside a monstrous Lucien anymore...when Cad’s Divine Intervention succeeded, and Mollymauk Tealeaf opened his eyes--his two plain old natural eyes--unburdened by Lucien and his Somnovem eyes and all of his dark baggage for the first time--I was finally able to embrace this as the ending.

Because it’s not about saving the world. That’s just a bonus. It’s about saving a friend. Freeing a friend. Freeing captives, wherever they find them. Whether from Crown’s Guard, gnolls, and giant spiders, or from royal dungeons; whether from ruthless enemies or from their own families; whether from eldritch abominations or from the forces that chain their own minds.

In the end, the Mighty Nein--and the people whose lives they touch--belong to no one and nothing that they do not choose to belong to. They belong to themselves, to the people they most sincerely love, to the gods and causes they have chosen freely. And that has always, always been my favorite kind of story.

And I can’t wait for tonight.

[supercantaloupe]

on Aelwyn Abernant, the Reformed Villain Squad, and redeeming teenage antagonists

an analysis on antagonist character development in Fantasy High. spoilers through sophomore year and (mildly so) the most recent roll20 oneshot. essay under the cut bc i am very long winded

the turnaround with Aelwyn in s2 is handled so well  i cant get over it. she was such a major antagonist in the first season and just. despicable. she had no pathos. we hated this bitchy older sister who tried to kill Adaine and her friends and raise an evil dragon, and when she gets knocked on her ass and thrown in jail, we cheer.

and then s2 fucking starts saying “hey she’s in jail still if you’d like to look into that” and pursuing that thread ends up being almost as comedic an idea as it is a reluctant one; it’s also quickly shunted to the background as soon as more pressing leads present themselves, to the point where we almost forget about her until Adaine is kidnapped and then the first time you see her it’s just. viscerally upsetting.

she’s bad. she did evil. she got what she deserved.

but she already got what she deserved. last season.

she got her ass handed to her by a bunch of 14 year olds including her little sister (how embarrassing!). her plans were thwarted. she got punched in the face and made fun of. she already got her punishment.

it just……immediately registers as over-the-top Wrong to be told “hey, remember that antagonist you beat last season? she’s still being punished for that, except it’s way worse than just going to mumple.”

and there’s that reminder that like…this is a teenager. a child. who has been manipulated and abused. which is a really fascinating look at this character we used to see pretty much unilaterally as a one dimensional bitchy villain.

i mean we got a more in depth look at Penelope’s and Biz’s motivations in s1 (Penelope being the popular rich girl sorceress obviously hungry for power and the alllure of the high school clout that is being prom queen, but also we know that her having to turn on her best friend Sam Nightingale as part of the scheme was something she was reluctant and not happy to do; and Biz being that predatory incel creeper type dude besides just a nerd with computers and a lack of social graces). and they were as much willingly active in the plot as Aelwyn was. yet in s1 they really never do bother to explore Aelwyn’s motivations. i remember after watching s1 but before s2 that was one of my biggest lingering questions: why tf was Aelwyn involved?

well. she was manipulated and abused. her terrible parents raised her in an awful environment that conditioned her to Listen and Obey and Behave and Be Perfect, and then Kalina helped cinch the noose around her neck with threats and coersion into the KVS Kaper and the NMK crown debacle. she doesn’t freely choose any of it; she’s coerced, manipulated, abused.

and she already got justifiably punished for her bad actions in s1. the torture is almost literal overkill. it’s just……there’s this immediate turnaround in sympathy and view of the character. on first watch, it’s viscerally upsetting to see her getting so brutally punished for actions she already faced consequences for, and on rewatch, it makes your skin crawl to know she’s being tortured for terrible things she had little choice in carrying out. and tortured by some of the very same people who coerced her to behave terribly in the first place, to add insult to injury.

and it’s still fucking frustrating when they rescue her and her memory gets reset and she goes back to her parents because it’s like “well shit, she’s evil again, and we just wasted all that effort for nothing” but it’s also sad cause we know she’s running back to her abusers and she isn’t happy about it but doesn’t feel like she has a choice. and it’s sadder still that what eventually inevitably gets her to turn to good for good (i.e. away from her parents) is just. a full dissociative mental breakdown.

(but then she survives and it’s gonna be good!!! until Adaine dies in her fucking arms. which is. almost funny. she’s been through so much shit and that isn’t something that Brennan would have just. preplanned. like a written in plot point. no, that was just an unpredictable consequence of the battle. what a juicy fucking moment. she’s been through All That Shit™️ and has finally turned to fight for good and her sister just fully dies in front of her. yeowch)

and she turns out okay in the end. she comes out the other side alive and whole and supported by her sister and her friends, with the hope of a future and recovery. there is an acknowledgement that A) she can and will grow from her mistakes and damage, B) it’s going to be really hard, and C) the post-s2 one shots both prove that she’s doing okay now. hell, she has a whole squad now of other former-teenage-villains-turned-good-guys. she has friends now, Ragh and Zayn, with common ground, and a secret handshake and everything. they’ve all grown from the mistakes of their past into better, happier, healthier people

and about Zayn and Ragh. we’ve seen a lot of characters, protagonist and antagonist, teenage and adult, PC and NPC do some really fucked up shit and get punished for it. but why do they get happy endings? why are Aelwyn, Ragh, and Zayn the only members of the RVS and not someone else like Biz or Penelope or Dayne? 

well, the latter two are dead by then; but then again, Biz and Ragh were also killed by the Bad Kids in s1, and subsequently resurrected. (Zayn died too, but was neither killed nor revived at the Bad Kids’ hands, so i’ll get to him in a sec.) and there are plenty of adult antagonists the Bad Kids face who are killed and left that way by the Bad Kids without second thought: Johnny Spells, Coach Daybreak, Captain Wicklaw, the Abernant parents (presuming Arianwen doesn’t survive in the forest for very long, which i doubt). why do some characters get second chances while others don’t?

in the case of Zayn, his death was pretty much out of the Bad Kids’ hands, and they later found out he was manipulated by Daybreak into being bad anyway because of his sad living situation. he was a pretty minor antagonist in the scheme of things, and when we re-meet him as a ghost in the s1 epilogue, he’s pretty obviously remorseful for his actions. and dying seems like a steep enough punishment to me for the shit he did to contribute to the KVX caper; returning as a ghost, free from the trappings of his unfortunate living life, he now has the room and freedom to grow into a better person.

in the cases of Daybreak, Spells, Wicklaw, and the Abernant parents: these are bad people who should know better. these are fully grown adults who actively choose to do evil. whether they think it’s the right thing to do or not (in Daybreak’s case), whether they think it will benefit them and don’t care about anyone else (in the Abernants’ case), or whether they don’t care much at all and are just doing shit because they feel like it (in the cases of Spells and Wicklaw), these are all adults who consciously make the decision to do terrible things and hurt other people. of course Johnny Spells, who is generally a punk thief and thug, is not on the same level of bad as Angwyn, who kidnaps and tortures his own daughters for political gain, but the point remains. these fuckers should know better. they’re grown ups. they had their chances to be good and they chose not to heed them. their minds are set on bad actions and they are a continued danger to other people as long as they are alive. when they die, the Bad Kids do their damndest to make sure it stays that way.

now, in the cases of Penelope and Dayne: these are teenagers who actively chose to participate in an evil plot. Penelope, Dayne, and Biz were all fully cognizant of what they were doing trying to raise KVX back to his former power. why? well, to some extent, we can only speculate. i suspect Penelope was just one of those Regina George bitches who is rich and popular and powerful and obsessed with power and popularity within high school as if that’s the end-all-be-all of existence (which, like, when you’re currently in high school, is a somewhat understandable worldview i think). Dayne being her boyfriend and a musclehead jock probably falls into a similar line of thinking. they are actively and willingly trying to cause harm, and teenager or not, must be stopped. they’re killed, anyway, during the Climactic Battle™️ anyhow; it’s not like the Bad Kids were going to gain anything at that point by keeping them alive.

now, Biz: Biz is the creepy Nice Guy incel type, sees woman as a prize he deserves to win, yadda yadda. he does, like Penelope and Dayne, actively choose to help KVX. there might be something to be said about his motivation the Bad Kids discover after the arcade battle by detecting his thoughts (that being to upload the captured maidens from the palimpsests to “call the shots” himself) is an altered memory; whether this was his original motivation from the start or not, i’m not sure. but the Bad Kids do kill him – and then resurrect him for important, time-sensitive information. and they beat it out of him – he gets two of his fucking fingers blown off. and Riz reattaches them once they have their info, and they realize his memory is altered. of course, the Bad Kids don’t know at this point that the altered memory was something he, Penelope, and Aelwyn had planned and agreed on and done to themselves, but this points to something important in my opinion: the Bad Kids, and the narrative/show as a whole by extension, acknowledge that external manipulation affects how guilty someone is in a crime.

which brings us to Ragh. Ragh, introduced from episode 1 as the meathead jock. Ragh the archetypical one-dimensional high school bully. Ragh who works with the harvestmen in effort to (ostensibly) end the world/provoke international war. Ragh, whose low intelligence but high loyalty and internalized homophobia led him to be fully swayed and blindly led by his coach and captain, who have actively chosen to do evil. Ragh who is killed in combat by the Bad Kids and resurrected for information, not Daybreak. Ragh, who the Bad Kids realize was probably not aware of exactly what he was being made to do and how bad it really was. Ragh, who by their kindness in sparing his life and directing him on a better path, becomes a well-rounded character and an active ally to the Bad Kids during and after prom, an invaluable companion during their quest in sophomore year, and overall a really good friend and person. 

(it might also be worth considering the case of Jawbone here, too, who started out a very minor antagonist in a fight but ended up becoming a major NPC because the Bad Kids talked to him, found out he came from an unfortunate situation and set of circumstances, and showed him kindness in offering the school guidance counselor position, a kindness that isn’t really owed but given anyway and ends up changing his entire life for good.)

and then, Aelwyn, whose case is already discussed above. so, why is the RVS what it is, why them but not others?

if you’re familiar with Avatar: the Last Airbender, you’re probably familiar with Zuko’s character arc, and how it’s often lauded as a masterful example of developing a villain into a hero over the course of a narrative. what makes Zuko’s arc so well done and exceptional is that he starts out as a kid in a bad situation under the influence of bad adults seeking to do bad deeds, but he later realizes the error of those ways, actively removes himself from that situation despite the difficulty and danger in doing so, goes through a lot of shit and reflects on his past mistakes and learns from them, and then actively chooses to fight for good in the end with the help of close, trusted friends, found family. 

this, i believe, is the same in the case of Fantasy High and its treatment of the RVS. its members, like Zuko, are all teenagers who came from shitty situations and were manipulated by evil adults to do bad. they are punished for their bad actions, and they learn from their errors and mistakes. with the kindness and help of good people, friends and chosen family, they are able to escape their abusers and bad situations and grow into their own people. and they actively choose to improve themselves with that help and fight for good.

Fantasy High, through the arcs of Jawbone, Zayn, Ragh, and especially Aelwyn, asserts that it is not your fault if you come from a bad situation and are forced to behave badly as a result. it does not pretend that you are absolved of any responsibility for those actions; quite the opposite, as even though they were externally manipulated into their evil actions, all of those mentioned characters face tangible consequences for their actions and later express remorse for their mistakes. but Fantasy High also asserts that even if you have made great mistakes in your past, even if you came from a bad situation beyond your control, even if you were manipulated and abused, with care and love and support and a hell of a lot of work and effort, you can improve your situation and find good, happiness, peace, you can thrive. evil adults who should know better don’t get redeemed. teenagers who aren’t coerced but actively choose evil don’t get redeemed. but abused kids deserve another shot at happiness. with enough work, and some love and help along the way, they can get there, even from the lowest imaginable point, from rock fucking buttom. it’s possible. 

[mightydragoon]

Suitless Vader and Luke Fic Recommendations

@silvereddaye Hey you asked for it. 

1. Sent Out for Safety - Chapter 1 - throwawayflames - Star W...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659655/chapters/54159751

At the age of eight, Luke Skywalker and his sister, Leia, are split up for their safety. Leia stays with their Uncle Ben, and their mother, to learn how to be a Jedi. Luke, on the other hand, is sent to the Organa's, where he will pretend to be their adoptive son who was orphaned. Ben had only given Luke one rule to live by while he was away from his family, don't tell anyone his last name, and he followed that.

It wasn't his fault that Darth Vader sensed that he was a Force Sensitive and now he wants to train him, as a Jedi no less. That's the complete opposite of what Ben had told Luke. And after asking Darth Vader about his dad, Luke can't help but say yes to Darth Vader training him. After all, Luke's always wanted to be a Jedi like his father.

 2. Another Empire -   Theace1

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14666787/chapters/33883572

Another Empire - Chapter 1 - Theace1 - Star Wars - All Med...

The Battle of Yavin had a surprising outcome with the death of Emperor Palpatine. Luke Skywalker's confrontation on Bespin has a much different outcome in the AU story, meeting someone he never expected to see: The Empress Vader.

3. Oceans Across- planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/15176468/chapters/35194499

Oceans Across - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars -...

Star Wars on the high seas! Doesn't get more simple than that.

4. Burning Mother planningconquest

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11952459/chapters/27024234

Burning Mother - Chapter 1 - planningconquest - Star Wars ...

A Jedi Luke emerges onto the galactic scene over a decade after the Jedi temple burned. Joining with Cassian Andor, rebel spy, they attempt to return to the Rebellion to attempt to full fill his destiny as the Chosen One. Sidetracked by pirates, farmers, and blind monks. All the while hunted by a vengeful Lady Vader who would see the young Jedi dead with the rest of his Order.

5. Dynasty  Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13111908/chapters/29997507

Dynasty - Chapter 1 - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars - All ...

Hit in the leg by a stormtrooper's blaster bolt, Luke falls in the Death Star hanger bay and is unable to escape on the Falcon along with Han and Leia. During the subsequent interrogation, his true heritage is revealed and Vader instantly takes him to Coruscant, determined to reclaim the son the Jedi stole from him. But the glory of the Imperial capital belies its true nature, where politics and power are everything and anything is fair game in the never ending game to reach the top. Not lying, not betrayal, assassination, sabotage, blackmail, nor seduction. As he commences his Sith training, Luke must also learn the rules and etiquette of the Imperial Court if he is to survive as most of his enemies fight their battles with words and political maneuverings rather than military force. Yet, even as he struggles to gain his place within the Empire, Luke learns that his best friend has joined the Alliance...

6. Possibilities of If May Be Valerie_Vancollie

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12946578

Possibilities of If May Be - Valerie_Vancollie - Star Wars...

Co-authored by Selinthia Avenchesca.

What if two different Star Wars realities started to merge?

7. We are all in the gutterarcticapple

https://archiveofourown.org/works/7070698/chapters/16072126

We are all in the gutter - Chapter 1 - arcticapple - Star ...

Vader gets caught by the Rebellion and eight years old Luke gets tossed into the mix. Observe and discuss.

8. new cornerstone: a reconstruction mandalorianed ( Private) 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308523

https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308523

When Luke had imagined finding out who his parents were, he had never imagined this.

9. Revenge Leads to Karma, and Karma Bites Darikiema

 https://archiveofourown.org/works/9055873/chapters/20601586

Darth Vader created them for his revenge; the clones of Obi-Wan Kenobi were his to torture and kill. But when something goes wrong and one of them isn't grown before being released from the pod, he's met with a dilemma that could change the face of the Galaxy.

Or:

Karma sucks and if Darth Vader ever meets her, he's going punch her in her damn face.

10. The Reckoning.  SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21597067/chapters/51495820

After Darth Vader goes missing after an failed attempt to assassinate the emperor, he was presumed to be dead.

Years later, a few Jedi and a child show up at the front door of the rebellion with an mysterious defector in tow. And they have big plans...

11. Bright Binary sunset in Dark Times SpaceTrashCanFan (Sketchandcomicbookperson)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/19711126/chapters/46648030

A.k.a Vader got frozen in Carbonite, somehow.

-------

Since Vader went missing, years ago somewhere in the outer rim...when Leia was very young (5 years) . Leia Organa gets years later when she was seventeen a bodyguard assigned to her after an attempt on her. Normally, she would protest.

But this man is not like the others. Something that was eating him and her parents were keeping a secret. Wielding a weapon of a Jedi... Using the Force and having secret meetings with spies and her father..

Leia is determined to find out what is going on and discovers how her bodyguard is a reformed Sith-Lord who went missing several years ago.

12. Tumblr Prompts  KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9179176/chapters/20834479

A collection of unrelated Star Wars ficlets, from tumblr prompts. New "chapters" will be added as I get new prompts, and I'll update tags as I go too. Almost all of these revolve around Luke and Vader's father-son relationship, aside from the first few.

13. No Distance Far Enough KaelinaLovesLomaris

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17549516#main

Imperial Prince Luke Skywalker is kidnapped by the Rebellion. His father is not happy.

14. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13771092/chapters/31651179

In which Leia is seven when her only friend Dijan dies. Her grief tears apart the shields Obi-Wan Kenobi put up on her mind to hide her adeptness with the Force, and is felt by two other residents in the galaxy: her father and her brother.

Or: The Skywalkers have a mental conversation from opposite sides of the galaxy because they're Skywalkers.

It also changes the course of the galaxy, but that's just to be expected.

EDIT: the second work is all part of this work!

15. Those Who Walk Series  antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/series/1176827

Skywalker family fluff.

16. Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly) II --antebunny

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13779084/chapters/31673112

Sequel to Those Who Walk The Paths Of The Sky (Must Learn To Fly), because there are still a lot of things that need to happen. But they're Skywalkers, so it has to be dramatic as possible. Including old friends, Organa Family Drama, Skywalker Shenanigans, and Hutts. Also, don't mind Obi-Wan. He's busy moping.

EDIT: THIS IS NOW ALL PART OF THE FIRST WORK

17.  the shifting light of stars  freefan1412

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20904197/chapters/49692206

Obi-Wan never needed to ask Padme for Anakin's location. That has consequences.

18. Fulfilling a Prophecy KianRai_Delcam (orphan_account)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13466274/chapters/30871740

Qui-Gon's eyes are gentle when he replies, "Changing fate is not always best, Vader. Whatever happens is as the Force wills it to be." Vader scoffs, "I'm hardly a youngling to be lectured, Jedi. My knowledge of the Force is more complete than yours. You have not walked both sides of the Force as I have. The Force is neither an ally nor a slave, as the Jedi and Sith see it." After Darth Vader's death and Anakin's redemption on the second Death Star, both Luke Skywalker and Vader are more than surprised when they find themselves alive on Coruscant in the Jedi Temple. Of course, Master Qui-Gon Jinn and Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi are a bit perplexed as well. Follow the Chosen One and company as they journey across the galaxy once more, discovering their true selves and fulfilling a prophecy as it was meant to be. Fic takes place over a few years, and may possibly go into the Clone Wars. Not just another time travel fix-it AU. You have been warned.

19. Cloak And Dagger  dorenamryn

https://archiveofourown.org/series/613946

“...and those that endeavour to dissolve it [the Union of Great Britain], carry a dagger under the cloak of patriotism, to stab their country in the heart."

In which everything changes, but also nothing does. (aka: the one where Anakin Skywalker is a Jedi Knight pretending to be a Sith, Emperor Palpatine thinks he's won, Obi-Wan Kenobi thinks his best friend's betrayed him, and Leia Organa is stuck in the middle of it.)

20. The Good Temptation Sinclairchap

https://archiveofourown.org/works/4740410/chapters/10834520

The Force is out of Balance. Unfortunately, it's Chosen One has done little to fix this, and has even Turned to the Dark Side, furthering the Unbalance. The entities created directly by the Force, who guide those who use it, have decided he requires a nudge in the right direction. A rather large nudge.

But not everybody, or even the Chosen One himself, agrees with this plan.

(Previously titled "Path to Redemption")

21. Misguided Light Skylanian_Writer

:https://archiveofourown.org/works/4572396/chapters/10413042

Vader survived Mustafar unharmed, but believes everyone he holds dear is gone. Except his son, who he would do anything for, so long as Luke stayed by his father's side.

Padmé managed to survive childbirth, and lived to see everything she fought for be deystroyed. Except her daughter, who Padmé would die for in a heart beat.

Unfortunately, Luke and Leia are not willing to sit quietly as their parents fight a war. The twins actions shake the entire galaxy to its core.

The Force really hated the Skywalker family.

22. In the Past  SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16597682/chapters/38898149

It's been two months after Bespin, and Luke Skywalker is trying to come to terms with the events that happened there. During a dogfight with Darth Vader, both of their fighters crash. When they recover, they both find themselves on Coruscant at the end of the Clone Wars. Vader still aims to claim his son, but Luke has been taken to the Jedi Temple where he meets Anakin Skywalker.

23. Runaway SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14630196/chapters/33813027

Imperial Prince Luke runs away from home to escape his overprotective father Emperor Vader. Jumping from planet to planet he finds himself creditless on Tatooine. While working for more money to leave the planet, Luke meets an old man named Ben Kenobi. But Luke knows he can't stay in one place for long for surely his father is hunting him down.

24. The Bargain SilverDaye

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13722573/chapters/31525827

Vader has killed off his master and claimed the throne as Galactic Emperor. Padmé has become an outspoken figure head and leader of the Rebellion. Vader captures his wife. Now she must figure out a way to be free for not only herself, but her children as well. She's fighting against Vader, who will stop at nothing and use anything means necessary to bring his family together.

[ificouldau]

Section 1 - Chapter 7

> 52% of you chose to leave the village.

48% of you chose to hide and gather supplies.

“We’re leaving,” You say in a rushed tone, rising sharply to your feet as the fourteen eyes follow. No matter how tired you are, there’s no way you’re bringing the same torture you lived through onto those that helped you. Seungcheol stands just a second after, nodding towards everyone else with a strong stare. They all hurry to their feet, anxious, but more prepared to run than ever. The constant running has, at least, brought you some courage this time.

Wonwoo boldly pulls open the door, poking his head outside for a brief second before closing it shut again. “We need to hurry before people wake up.” “We need to make sure we’re seen first,” Minghao explains, “Then we need to find out where to go, to lead them where no one else is.”

“God, this is so frustrating,” Jeonghan whispers to himself, “We were finally able to eat, to sleep, to sit down and-”

“We’ll find another place to rest.” Coups interrupts. The boys stare at him apprehensively as he hurries towards the door, pulling it open and turning to face everyone in the room. No one says another word as you all flood out of the building, into the dark open air without a set plan in mind.

The boys gather around in the cold, shivering and crossing their arms in an attempt to stay warm. Though the snow’s stopped, it somehow feels twice as freezing as it had the night before. It’s the first time you’ve noticed their attire: simple jeans and plain t-shirts as if they’d worn a uniform the day of their kidnapping. You can’t exactly complain much, with a thick sweater to keep you snug, but a familiar, panicked voice reaches your ears before you can form another thought.

“What are you all doing out here?” The older woman you’d shared a room with shouts, her door wide open and feet still bare as she hurries your way. The boys step back and allow her to join the circle.

“Thank you for everything,” You explain, “but we need to leave. I think we’ve been found.”

“What?” She exclaims, her jaw dropping to the floor. Your heads snap up again as another distant scream pierces the air, a bit louder out here, but still far off.

The woman holds her hands to her chest in fear, eyes wide, and turns to you. “Follow me,” She says quickly, turning around and running back into the house you’d shared. Before anyone can protest, you run right along after her, stumbling through the door to spot her searching frantically through an old wooden closet. Junhui and Mingyu trail behind you like bodyguards, standing back as she pulls a few large cloth bags out towards you. She motions for you three to take them, and you heave one onto your back only to realize how heavy it is.

“What- what is this?” Jun asks, shifting the bag strap uncomfortably upon his shoulder. The woman nods firmly. “A gift for choosing to protect my village.”

Mingyu grabs the last bag and tugs at the one on your back, asking for you to pass it over. You shake your head, but he slides the strap off of your arm and onto his own regardless. The woman smiles seeing the gesture, then asks softly for the boys to leave.

“I know you’re in a rush, but give me one moment with her,” She says. Jun opens his mouth to protest, but Mingyu grabs his arm and hurries him out the open door before he can speak. You watch as they disappear, then turn to the older woman with a confused gaze.

She doesn’t say much for a second, merely scanning you with a warm smile before tearing up.

“You’re so grown up,” She whispers, ruffling your already messy hair. You freeze in confusion as she sighs, holding a hand steadily to her heart. Why does she act this way? You wonder aimlessly, thinking over everything she’s ever said, wondering why she’d taken you all in in the first place, wondering why she has so many heavy bags just waiting in her closet for someone to use. You can hardly think up any answers before she places both hands over your shoulders, turning you towards the door and guiding you back outside. “Be safe,” She says, “Follow the road.”

You aren’t sure how to respond as she pushes you out into the cold again, giving you one last nod before looking up at the circle of boys a few feet away.

“Take care of her!” She shouts their way, almost aggressively, before letting you go. You thank her, and she smiles, then runs off into the village, still barefoot and in a nightgown. You hear her trotting off to warn the others, and in a split second, she is gone.

There’s no more time to waste. The boys hurry to meet you by the door, Minghao grabbing your hand gently and pulling you away alongside the others.

“Where are we going?” You ask as he tugs you along.

“Where the screams keep coming from,” He replies. Dread fills your heart again, but you keep on moving without paying the fear any mind. The fourteen of you hurry along, past the little stone houses and the shacks and the farms, the roof covered well and the tree swing. Icy wind brushes past your face at the sound of nothing but crickets and your hurried footsteps.

“There,” Chan says suddenly after a few moments of running. You all turn your heads to see another older woman fleeing your way, weaving between buildings with a panicked expression.

“Auntie!” Seungkwan shouts in her direction, a term of endearment he’d adapted for every older woman at the village. He hurries to her aid, wrapping a careful arm around her and pulling her behind a stone wall as you all hurry to meet him. Now that she’s here, you recognize her as the kind old woman you’d cooked with earlier today, but rather than her usual warm appearance, she’s shaken and her apron is matted with blood.

“What happened?!” Soonyoung asks as she takes time catching her breath. “They… Six of them… Couldn’t- Couldn’t run-” The poor woman huddles over with a heavy cough, and the boys frantically knock upon the nearest door for help. Luckily, an older couple opens it, only to gasp at the sight and quickly aid the woman into their home.

“Sit her down! Oh God, oh God. What happened?!” The man asks with terror in his eyes. Seungcheol shakes his head, lightly nudging at the man’s arm, motioning for him to go back inside.

“Hide,” He says hurriedly, “Hide! Go!”

The man does not ask questions as he shares one last glance with the group, then closes the door and leaves you out in the freezing cold. You all gather again in silence, hurrying towards the direction the woman had come from without sparing so much as a word.

You don’t get very far, however, before a cloaked figure turns the corner from a wooden market stall. Everyone stumbles back behind the nearest wall with a gasp, any sense of courage draining from each and every one of their faces. ‘What do we do?’ Vernon mouths to the group. ‘I don’t know,’ Jihoon replies.

“We run.” Mingyu whispers harshly and, before anyone can stop him, sprints out into the open air directly in the man’s line of sight. You hold back a million curses as Soonyoung follows, then Wonwoo, then everybody else. It’s life or death now, but you have no choice.

You bolt out from behind the wall just as another cloaked figure appears out of nowhere, right on your tail.

“Fuck, fuck!” You yell, nearly tripping over your own feet as the thirteen boys ahead of you glance back with horrified eyes. A hand grabs the back of your shirt, but you strike it off quickly and hurry to catch up with the others ahead.

“That way!” Soonyoung shouts from the front of the group, and you can see him heading towards what seems to be an open patch of trees. He disappears between two market stalls and so do the others, and as you turn the corner behind them, the gloomy forest comes into view once again.

You make the mistake of looking back for a brief second, only to see more cloaked figures having joined the chase. They’re right behind you now. Any slower, and you’re dead for sure.

“Come on!” Minghao shouts from in front of you, turning around to grab your arm sleeve and force you to quicken your pace. You do, unintelligible thoughts racing your mind as the abundant patch of trees seems to grow closer.

That is, until another hand grabs your collar and yanks you backwards, subsequently dragging Minghao back as well. You both stumble, causing the gap between you and everyone else to increase significantly. Blood drains from your face as the glint of a blade catches your eyes. Minghao yells, and you can see nothing more than a few seconds of dark cloth, metal, and the boy’s tousled hair before someone is pulling you forward by the sleeve again.

It’s Mingyu, having hurried your way after hearing screams. “Keep going!” He shouts, and you notice he’s grabbed Minghao with his other hand as well. Hao is bleeding all of a sudden, an open slash on his right arm. He winces in pain as Mingyu forcefully drags you both forward.

( -1 Health: The8 )

The three of you run as fast as possible, doing your best to close the large gap between you and everyone else. That’s when you notice Jeonghan distantly stumbling along, Seokmin’s arm wrapped around his waist as the boy limps with every hurried step. His leg had been tightly bandaged just before, but now the fabric seems to be loosened and ripped as if he’d been attacked. Guilt balances your fear now. Maybe if you hadn’t decided to run…

( -1 Health: Jeonghan )

You gather all your courage and look back again, but unexpectedly, the view is different this time. About six cloaked figures lay limp in the snow covered dirt, and two stand completely still in front of them, watching you all flee. WIth a quick glance you notice a bright red scar across one of their hands, but find yourself facing forward before you can notice anything else. Nothing makes sense, but there’s no time for thinking anymore.

You run for a long time. A very long one, in fact, as by the time everyone stops to catch their breath, the sun has fully risen into a bright blue sky. The boys fall to their knees, panting, as you collapse against a tree trunk, desperately trying to fill your lungs with air. No one is even able to form a word for a minute.

“Holy shit, we’re alive,” Joshua remarks, a hand on his heaving chest. “I can’t run anymore-” Seungkwan struggles to so much as breathe, and you feel terrible guilt at the sound of him begging for a break.

Seungcheol glances about at the trees. You notice their abundance in this area, with heavy trunks gathered together in a way that can almost hide a group, even one of fourteen. That is, at least for a while.

“Guys,” Vernon mutters, and you all glance over to see him kneeled upon the snow, pulling a thick folded tarp and metal rods out of one of the bags. “Is that…?” Chan asks, hurrying over to the other two bags and pulling the same items from another. Junhui grabs the third and opens it with pure surprise on his face, unexpectedly raising a wool blanket and a food can into the air. “Tents and supplies.” He says with a smile. Everyone breathes a sigh of relief.

You all take the day to rest from then, scattered about the region but always staying in the sights of the group. Luckily, no one shows up to run from, and everyone unanimously decides to spend the night out in the woods before hiking down the road the next morning. As night falls, you help set up the two small tents and finally grab a bite to eat, perched peacefully on a snowy log as the others ration their own meals.

It’s dark out again, and you desperately wish lighting a fire wouldn’t be as dangerous as it is. The boys sit around in a circle regardless, plowing through bread and food cans after hours without a thing to eat. It’s silent for a while, until Seungkwan turns to send a smile your way.

“Thank you,” He says suddenly, “You saved the village, and us.”

“No, I didn’t do much-” “I have to admit… your plan worked out better than mine would’ve. You’re smart,” Wonwoo says in a low tone, and the others are all quick to agree. “Don’t be so modest,” Minghao adds. The rest of the group seems to have warmed up to the decision, and you can’t help but feel welcomed at their expressions.

( +1 Reputation: ALL ) 

Seungcheol pipes up after a second of quiet. “How are everyone’s wounds?” Chan looks down at his bandaged arm, the cloth all dirtied and loosened to the point that he can only sigh. “Got it all cleaned for nothing. Feels just as bad as when I got hurt, now,” Jihoon, with his hand wrapped in the same fashion, agrees alongside Hoshi. Jeonghan looks down at his leg and frowns. “The guy told me I need to rest it,” He says, “Don’t think I can do that if we keep running around.” “Lucky for you that we’re camping tonight, then.” Joshua sets his empty food can on the dirt before stretching his arms in the air, heaving a heavy yawn and standing up to head to bed. You feel tired watching him, and soon head into a tent as well. For a few hours you are able to sleep, feeling oddly more rested than you were the night before, before someone gently shakes you awake.

Your eyes slowly open to see Vernon crouching beside you.

“You’re on,” He says simply as you lift yourself into a sitting position. You can’t help but frown, forgetting that Coups put you on watch for the second half of the night. Vernon takes your place upon the blanket as you step cautiously over the other boys, careful not to wake them while ducking out of the tent.

You rise to your feet at the sight of Wonwoo outside. He sits against a tall tree with a small pocket book in hand, using the dim light of a matchstick to read amongst the pitch black night. He’s wearing glasses all of a sudden, not turning to look as you trot over to a spot opposite of his. As you take a seat on the floor, you eye him curiously, wondering where he got the glasses, or even the book for that matter. Something in you wants to go sit with the boy, but before you can head his way, a rustle to your right scares the living daylights out of you.

You turn your head to see Junhui, crouched directly beside you with a kind smile. He glances about at the trees and the sky while you try to steady your heart from the scare.

“Hey there,” He whispers as you gaze into the ground. You look back up to see him talking to a cat as opposed to you, a furry black and white one with glossy green eyes. Just like the one your dad brought home when you were younger. A sign of good luck, at least in your case. Where did she come from? Jun coos at the creature, reaching out to pet her before she snuggles up to his palm.

“Those are good luck, you know?” You say, and he nods in agreement.

“She’s a special one, too, all alone out here in the forest.”

“You hungry?” You call at the cat before it hops up and heads back into the trees. You watch it walk off for a second, then turn your head to check on Wonwoo a good while away. He’s still sat under his tree, holding the match flame to the pages, pushing his glasses further upon his face as he reads. It’s a peaceful sight, but as you turn back to face Junhui, you realize that he’s disappeared.

“Junhui…?” You mutter in shock, until a soft meow reaches your ears. The cat is still nearby, prancing slowly into the forest, but now Jun is crouched behind its tail like a child. You want to laugh for a moment, but then the cat begins rushing off, with Junhui following along behind her.

“Hey, Jun!” You whisper harshly, rising to your feet as he delves further into the forest. You turn to Wonwoo, too far away to hear a thing, and turn back to Junhui as he begins to disappear from sight.

Is he an idiot? You think to yourself, glancing over at Wonwoo, then the back of Jun’s head. You know he’ll be fine on his own, but can’t help feeling curious as to where he’s headed off to. Still, you don’t wanna leave Wonwoo alone on watch, and if anything, now's the time to prove his cold impression of you wrong. Jun’s almost completely vanished at this point, and you aren’t sure how else to spend the night.

- Hang out with Junhui

or

- Hang out with Wonwoo

( Vote now on instagram.com/ificould_au. You have 24 hours. )

[creepingsharia]

“Lovers of Islam, Force These Demonic Creatures Out!” Muslim Persecution of Christians, May 2019

by Raymond Ibrahim

The Slaughter of Christians

Burkina Faso: A number of fatal Islamic terror attacks on Christians and their churches took place or were reported in May:

On Sunday 26 May, armed Muslims stormed a Catholic church during mass and opened fire on the gathered worshippers; four were killed and several others injured. killing four and injuring others.

On May 13, armed Muslims attacked a Catholic procession, slaughtered four Christians and "burned a statue of the Virgin Mary."

On May 12, approximately 30 armed Muslims stormed a Catholic church, slaughtered at least six worshippers—including the officiating priest—and then burned the church to the ground.

On Sunday, April 28, Islamic terrorists stormed a Protestant church and killed six worshippers, including the 80-year-old pastor and his two sons. According to a local, "The assailants asked the Christians to convert to Islam, but the pastor and the others refused." So "they called them, one after the other, behind the church building where they shot them dead."

On April 5, Islamic gunmen entered a Catholic church and murdered four Christians.

Nigeria: On Sunday, May 26, Muslim Fulani herdsmen ambushed and slaughtered as many as 30 Christians as they walked home after church service. The Muslim tribesmen also torched approximately 20 Christian households as part of their planned "Islamization" of Nigeria, said a local pastor, adding, "These targeted attacks on innocent Christians are unacceptable, particularly with confirmed arrests of over 30 Christian women [who work as] fruit and food vendors by soldiers ... after the attack." Separately, on May 18, Islamic gunmen killed a Christian and kidnapped two others at a Baptist church.

Central African Republic: An elderly Christian nun of Spanish/French origins who spent her days teaching young girls how to sew in the African nation was beheaded by a militant group representing and partially composed of Muslim Fulani herdsmen; around the same time the group massacred at least 26 people, in what one report refers to as "one of the biggest single losses of life in the Central African Republic (CAR) since a February peace deal."

Turkey: The murder of an elderly Christian man is believed to have been a hate crime. According to the report, the "86-year-old Greek man was found murdered in his home with his hands and feet tied. He was reportedly tortured":

Zafir Pinari's death on May 14 comes just five days before the commemorative anniversary of the Greek Genocide. This genocide was conducted from 1913-1922 by the Ottoman Empire and was the systematic killing of Christian Greek citizens. By the time the Ottoman Empire collapsed and modern Turkey formed in 1923, most of the Greek population were either murdered or had fled the country. A wave of killing of Greek Christians again occurred in the 1960s.

A suspect has been arrested in this case and three others are under investigation. It is not yet clear as to what motivated the murder. However, given the historical context, local press covering the incident are labeling it as a hate crime.

Pakistan: A Muslim man kidnapped and tortured his Christian employee to death after he tried to quit his job. Javid Masih, 45, worked as a livestock farmhand for Abbas Jutt. According to a source acquainted with the case "Masih wanted to quit because he was often subjected to discrimination and religious hatred." The deceased's widow confirms:

"We had been experiencing religious hatred from [Jutt] and his colleagues, however, we had no courage to register this with police. We are poor and belong to a downtrodden segment of society. Therefore, we are never heard. Jutt has damaged our lives and we have nothing to live for now."

Egypt: A Muslim employee murdered his Christian supervisor on May 7, "because of his Christian faith" notes a report. Surveillance footage from a nearby building captured the incident. While passing each other, the two men speak briefly, before the Muslim man returns with a knife and butchers the Christian, who leaves behind a wife and two boys aged 15 and 9. "The Islamic holy month of Ramadan began nearly two weeks ago," the report adds. "It is common for Christians to suffer increased violence and harassment during this time. Persecution is a constant theme of life for Egyptian Christians, as they are already viewed as second class citizens in this Islamic nation."

Syria: Islamic militants bombed a Christian village; five children and a 35-year-old woman were killed. "The kids went out to play after some days of calm" near a monastery, said a local priest, when a rocket struck near them, "instantly killing five and wounding others... the woman was killed in a nearby street by a separate rocket."

Iraq: On May 13, Islamic militants joined with the Shia group, Shabak, which is supported by Iran, broke into the home of two elderly Christian women, a mother and daughter, and stabbed them. Although the mother's age is unknown, it can be surmised considering that her daughter—who was last reported as "struggling with death" and "in critical condition"— as around 69. According to one report, "The women were repeatedly stabbed with a knife and their gold and money were stolen. The two victims were then hospitalized in Mosul. The daughter, who sustained a violent head injury, remains in critical condition." Although the women were robbed, local Christians say that plunder was not the primary motive:

"The attackers tried to deliver a message of threat.... I don't think it was a robbery because they stabbed the daughter on her head by a knife which means the criminals tried to kill them.... You know who could be the ones who may attack Christians. Everyone knows them. But no one can give you the names since they are supported by the militia."

Separately, in an address delivered in London, the Rev. Bashar Warda, Archbishop of Irbil, the capital of Iraqi Kurdistan, accused Britain's Christian leaders of indifference to the genocide of Iraq's Christians. Parts of his comments follow:

Christianity in Iraq, one of the oldest Churches, if not the oldest Church in the world, is perilously close to extinction. Those of us who remain must be ready to face martyrdom.... Our tormentors confiscated our present, while seeking to wipe out our history and destroy our future. In Iraq there is no redress for those who have lost properties, homes and businesses. Tens of thousands of Christians have nothing to show for their life's work, for generations of work, in places where their families have lived, maybe, for thousands of years.... Will you continue to condone this never-ending, organised persecution against us? When the next wave of violence begins to hit us, will anyone on your campuses hold demonstrations and carry signs that say "We are all Christians"? And yes I do say, the "next wave of violence", for this is simply the natural result of a ruling system that preaches inequality, and justifies persecution. The equation is not complicated. One group is taught that they are superior and legally entitled to treat others as inferior human beings on the sole basis of their faith and religious practices. This teaching inevitably leads to violence against any "inferiors" who refuse to change their faith. And there you have it—the history of Christians in the Middle East for the last 1,400 years.

Attacks on Churches

Nigeria: Muslim Fulani herdsmen stormed a church during evening choir practice and kidnapped 17 Christians on May 18. "As we were in the church, Fulani herdsmen numbering over 20 just surrounded the church and started shooting," a church member recalled.

"Everybody was terrified, but there was no way we could run because they had already surrounded the church. They were asking for the pastor's house, and they threatened to shoot us if we don't show them the house. Some of them went to the pastor's house while others kept watch over us."

Kenya: On May 17, a rampaging mob of Somali Muslims destroyed the properties of four churches—Kingdom Gospel for All Nations Ministry, Evangelical Victory Church International, End Time Army Church, and Kale Heywot Church—and injured several Christians. On the previous day, locals had called police on an outdoor Islamic event because it was getting too loud and rowdy. Citing "public disturbance," police responded by pulling the plug on the event. On the next day, "a group of Muslim adherents stormed our church building armed with stones, machetes, and petrol," the pastor of one of the destroyed churches said.

"They broke into the church and damaged everything; from chairs to sound equipment. They also attempted to set the church on fire, but police arrived and contained the situation.... After they destroyed the chairs and equipment of this church, they split into small groups and went around stealing from the nearby shops operated by Christians. This was outright persecution of the people that subscribe to the Christian faith."

Another pastor of an attacked church said:

"Our freedom of worship has been violated and we can only pray for a time when the Muslim community will allow Christians to worship without fear of being attacked. Our members are now scattered and ... we have received notes at our church warning us against going to church, praying and preaching."

"The influx of the Somali people who are majorly Muslims has posed a great danger to the churches," said the leader of another attacked church. "They have erected four mosques and are looking for portions to build other mosques. They have been threatening churches to leave so that they can build mosques on those plots."

Turkey: On May 21, police interrupted a baptismal ceremony while raiding and subsequently shutting down an unauthorized church composed of Iranian Christian asylum seekers. "Turkey does not have a pathway for legalization of churches," the report adds:

Many are instead forced to register as a foundation or association, and most even then will not be allowed to open a church building. For this reason, many like the church in Bolu are forced to exist in apartment buildings. It is common for Christians to report harassment and intimidation by the police who monitor their church services. For Iranian Christians, they are often challenged in that as asylum seekers, they are usually housed in extremely Islamic areas who do not want a Christian presence.

Iran: Authorities directly under the control of the Supreme Leader raided an Assyrian Presbyterian Church on May 9. They tore down the church's cross, changed the church's locks, and made it clear that worship was no longer be permitted at the church. Apparently the church's crime was that it used the Persian language alongside its own Assyrian language; because the overwhelming majority of Iran's Muslim population speaks only Persian, conducting church services in that language is seen by the Islamist regime as a seductive threat to the Muslims' faith.

Algeria: Citing a law that requires special authorization for non-Muslim places of worship, authorities shut down another church and its Bible school on May 22. "I am sad to have to face this injustice," its pastor said: "We prayed for those authorities who are persecuting us, as our Lord Jesus Christ commanded." The church had filled all other prerequisites for legalization, and had been waiting since 2017 for approval, which never came. This is the latest of several churches to be closed in recent years. According to the report, "Officials have yet to issue any license for a church building under the regulation...

Several churches have since received written orders to cease all activities, and authorities have closed a number of them for operating without a license. Islam is the state religion in Algeria, where 99 percent of the population of 40 million are Muslim."

Egypt: Authorities closed down another church in response to Muslim disapproval. "This is a very hard situation," said one local Christian. "You can see kids praying in tears because of their feelings of fear ... that is very painful for us as Christians personally. I don't trust in the government promises, but we have to continue praying for [a] reopening [of] the church." "Many years ago we were praying in our houses with the priest because there was not an [existing] church," said another local Christian.

"Now there are more than 400 Coptic persons in our village and the number of us increases day by day... During the last feast days (Orthodox Easter) many Copts prayed and the police had secured the building, but then the police asked Bishop Georgius to close the church because some Muslims in the village disagreed."

In a separate incident, an American professor teaching at Cairo's American University was fired for refusing to emphasize Islam over other religions during his Religions of the World Class. According to one report:

Professor Adam Duker has taught Comparative Religions at the university since 2016. His dismissal reportedly comes after a conflict with Saudi billionaire Tarek Taher, who maintains close ties to the university. Taher had requested that Professor Duker focus more heavily on Islam. When Professor Duker refused, his contract was terminated effective October 2019. Professor Duker says that Taher asked him to encourage non-Muslim students to convert to Islam and that Taher wanted his lectures pre-approved before teaching. [A more detailed report on this development appears here.]

Pakistan: "A pastor ... received a letter on May 1 warning him that his church would be the site of a terrorist attack unless he paid a ransom of more than $3,500.00," notes a report. "The threat has many church leaders in Karachi on edge and calling on local authorities to provide their communities with protection....The letter also warned that if Pastor Azeem went to police, there would be consequences like the recent terrorist attacks on churches in Sri Lanka."

Separately, 38 Christian graves at a Pakistani cemetery were desecrated; the unknown assailants also defaced several crosses fixed to the graves.

Attacks on Apostates and Blasphemers

Uganda: Muslims burned the home of a former Muslim convert to Christianity and his large family (when still a Muslim he had married three women who gave birth to 14 children). Most of the family was indoors and barely made it out in time before the charred roof collapsed. "We thank God that no one was physically hurt but emotionally are very hurt as we continue receiving threatening messages warning us of a possible attack," the father said. "The pressure from the extended family and radical Muslims is really troubling my family, and we cannot risk going back to our houses." Problems began once Muslims learned the family had embraced Christianity; local Muslims, on the same day they saw the family attend church, began stoning their home. Muslim villagers and the imam of the local mosque also began insulting and harassing the family, with one villager remarking , "If you do not come back to Islam, then expect something unusual to befall your family." "Since then," the father said, "my family became vigilant, and we even hired a guard to take care of the family during the night, but the stone-throwing continued in one of the houses while the guard was on patrol on the other side of the homestead." Even after being made homeless, the family continues to receive threatening messages. These include: "The burning of the house was just warning. If you continue hardening your hearts and fail to return to Islam, then expect a worst thing that you have never seen before." The father concluded,:

"We sincerely need prayers and financial support... My family is scattered, and the children are unable to go to school. We gave our lives to Jesus and here we are living a troubled, restless life. The law should bring these perpetrators to book."

Pakistan: On May 15, a Muslim mob attacked a Christian family accused of allegedly blaspheming against Islam. The incident began after a Christian man asked a Muslim who was loudly cursing on his phone near the Christian family home to move away. The Muslim responded with a derogatory, anti-Christian slur, which led to a physical altercation, until the Christian family managed to separate the two men. That night, the local mosque's megaphones started blaring out against the Christian household, accusing its members of blasphemy and adding: "All the lovers of Islam must gather together and force these demonic creatures out of this village." A family member explained what happened next:

"This was a horrifying moment for my whole family and other Christians. We felt totally helpless. In our panic we started to get ourselves ready to flee our homes and get far away from the village, however, we were all to slow. In no time we start to hear Muslims gather outside our home—even the children. The violent mob surrounded our home and all of them had weapons including guns—which were being shot in the air, sticks, axes, poles and farming tools. Even the small children had weapons [and] we feared for our lives. The mob began shouting outside our home asking for our family to exit our home and receive divine retribution for our sin. It did not seem very divine—we just saw raging evil violent people ready to kill us."

Seven Christian family homes were attacked before the mobs dispersed.

Sexual Abuse of Christians

Indonesia: A May 23 report says that " a new form of persecution is on the rise—Christian girls are being targeted by Muslim men... Influential leaders are literally training young men to target Christian girls to impregnate them":

They target them to try and sort of diffuse the spread of Christianity because the family of the Christian girl is so ashamed that...they're forced into marrying that daughter into a Muslim family.... The family, because the shame is so overwhelming, they agree to that... and the Muslims who are being trained to do this, they understand that. That's why they're doing that. They're taking a Christian into a Muslim family so they can influence [her]. Once girls are married into the Muslim families, they're often cut off from or abandoned by their families and they face even more difficult circumstances. In some cases, girls are the second or third wife of their persecutor and they have few freedoms.

Pakistan: Neha Pervaiz, a 15-year-old Christian girl, was raped, forcibly converted to Islam, and married to a 45-year-old Muslim man.

"I was taken by my aunt, a Muslim convert, to her house on April 28 to help her look after her sick son," recalls Neha. "But there I was asked to marry a Muslim man named Imran. When I refused, they beat me up and threatened to kill my minor brother who was with me." She was then forced into another room and raped by Imran. "They then pressurized me to convert to Islam and marry Imran." Over the following two days she was forced to convert, renamed Fatima, and taken to court where she was illegally married to Imran. She eventually managed to escape back to her parents.

Egypt: Muslims reportedly kidnapped a Christian wife and mother of three near Cairo. Her family has since received threatening messages saying that unless the woman embraces Islam one of her sons will targeted for slaughter. After the family took the matter to the authorities, the police refused to open a case. They suggested that the woman had left her home of her own free will.

Raymond Ibrahim, author of the new book, Sword and Scimitar, Fourteen Centuries of War between Islam and the West, is a Distinguished Senior Fellow at the Gatestone Institute, a Shillman Fellow at the David Horowitz Freedom Center, and a Judith Rosen Friedman Fellow at the Middle East Forum.

About this Series

While not all, or even most, Muslims are involved, persecution of Christians by extremists is growing. The report posits that such persecution is not random but rather systematic, and takes place irrespective of language, ethnicity, or location.

[allthebrazilianpolitics]

Brazil Lost 1,330 Square Miles of Rainforest in Just the Last Six Months

Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro has set the logging industry free—single-handedly hastening climate change.

When Jair Bolsonaro became the president of Brazil late last year, it was a major victory for the country's far right, and a potentially monumental disaster for the Brazilian Amazon.

To back up a bit: It was a shock when Bolsonaro claimed victory, not because his win came from nowhere—he was leading in the polls. But because his rhetoric drew comparisons to fascism (Foreign Policy claimed his propaganda campaign took a "page straight from the Nazi playbook.") And the man originally expected to win the election, former president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva, was jailed on corruption charges before the election. It's since come out that Sergio Moro, the presiding judge, was secretly directing prosecutors on how to conduct their case, and Bolsonaro subsequently gave Moro the second most powerful position in the Brazilian government—raising some eyebrows about the legitimacy of the charges.

Bolsonaro started out as an army captain when Brazil was ruled by a military dictatorship from 1964 to 1985, and he's frequently praised the brutal regime that kidnapped, tortured, and executed suspected dissidents and communists. He's vehemently anti-gay, saying that if he saw men kissing in public then he would assault them. He told a woman politician she was too ugly to rape. He's vowed to criminalize social movementsincluding his political rivals, the Workers Party. And he now leads a country of almost 200 million people, the second biggest in the Americas after the U.S.

Brazil is home to one of the most valuable resources on the planet, the Amazon rainforest. For decades, preserving the rainforest had been one of the main points of the environmental movement, and for a short while Brazil's conservation efforts were surprisingly successful. But Bolsonaro ran on a campaign that promised to free up as much of the Amazon as possible for logging and deforestation, which was an appealing promise to both Brazilian and international business interests that often butted head with environmentalists and conservation efforts. He vowed not only to put "an end to activism" in Brazil, but also swore that if he became president "not a centimeter more" of land would be protected for indigenous people.

Under Bolsonaro, the government has dramatically scaled back environmental enforcement efforts, including fines and the seizure of illegal equipment. In fact, a recent investigation by the New York Times found that over the last six months, enforcement actions by Brazil's environmental agency dropped by 20 percent compared to the year before Bolsonaro took the presidency, while deforestation of the Brazilian rain forest shot up by 39 percent. That means that so far this year, the Amazon lost 1,330 square miles of forest—an area the size Houston, Los Angeles, and Chicago combined.

Continue reading.

[purgatoryandme]

Part of the reason people are taken his monologue as negative is Pepper and him are over. She does not love Iron Man and Tony will always be Iron Man so he is reflecting on two sides of him that will not work out.

Huh, ok, that is a fandom opinion that could lead to that interpretation. Long character relationship analysis below. There’s gonna be a TLDR. 

While I don’t think the Iron Man movies and subsequent films have done a great job with Pepper and Tony’s romance, I don’t really think it is entirely fair to represent Pepper’s actions as not loving Tony’s heroic side/thinking it is reckless endangerment/thinking Tony should be a normal person because she can only love a normal person. First off: Pepper Potts fell in love with the CEO of one of the world’s largest tech companies who has been in the limelight since birth. She fell in love with him KNOWING him as a reckless irresponsible man with a (secret) heart of gold and an issue with alcoholism. He was not a normal man. The only barrier between them starting a relationship is that Pepper didn’t believe Tony would be willing to be monogamous and to be more honest with her - a barrier that was resolved (at least partially) by Tony’s willingness to expose his vulnerabilities to the world through Iron Man and his weapons shutdown AND his willingness to expose his vulnerabilities to her. This leads into a second point: Pepper got into a relationship with Tony because of his heroic side. That side of him was truer to his heart than he had previously been and it was enough to push the two of them together. Now, as for ‘reckless endangerment’…The reason Pepper moves Tony away from Iron Man AT FIRST is because she’s terrified of him dying. Which, tbh, is totally fair of her and doesn’t make their romance a bad or tragic one - at the time, Tony is a little too gungho about dying himself. Their romance opened on the note of him being kidnapped and tortured. It continued on countless people making an effort to kill him for being Iron Man or trying to kill Pepper for it. She manages to hold on here (despite having some fights which is normal when your SO is barely surviving) and stay with him when these were not things Tony ACTIVELY pursued, then begins to lose it when Tony courts death and she suffers consequences for it, then finally crumbles entirely when, as a direct consequence of his mental health issues due to being Iron Man, Tony nearly destroys himself and an entire country. This clearly shows that, despite being afraid of Tony dying in the line of fire, she was willing to stand by him and support him as long as Iron Man was doing Tony some good. Once that good dried up, Pepper leaves him (which she is very well within her rights to do and it doesn’t make this relationship unhealthy - if anything it makes Pepper an incredibly good influence on Tony). She gets her own emotional health together, then comes back to find Tony continuing to struggle with guilt, his own severely compromised health, and crippling loneliness while simultaneously trying desperately to take some of the responsibility for heroism in general off of his own shoulders. There is a cry for help there that has been overwhelmingly ignored.When Pepper re-enters a relationship with Tony, it is with a Tony who has tried to change, tried to get better, is succeeding in delegating his responsibilities in a way that is making him a happier (re: Homecoming) man…and what is getting in the way of that happiness are the expectations of other people through Iron Man.

Pepper is Tony’s CEO, but before that she was his PA. She is a person who has long-since been tasked with the job of keeping Tony ALIVE and WELL despite his best efforts. She’s seen him constantly run himself into the ground for things worth LESS than this. She’s seen Tony Stark allow GUILT to be his driving force for countless years and now…now she wants him to be ABLE to retire because keeping Tony from destroying himself is hardwired into her relationship with him. She wants to be the one person to give him an out because she’s the person who understands Tony, the vulnerable person, best. Pepper understands what Iron Man means to Tony in a way that none of the other heroes quite get. Pepper, as a ‘normal’ person, understands that Iron Man is Tony’s apology to the world - it is his guilt personified and it is every single one of his hopes of becoming a better person attached to that guilt. It’s a noose around his neck that gets tighter every year. 

Tony in the MCU is getting old. He has begun, in varying stops and starts, to recover from his past traumas despite being retraumatized more than once. He is beginning to move closer to a simple life - everyone forgets that Tony in one of the first avengers films admitted that he has ALWAYS wanted that. To move out to a farm on the countryside and to be, essentially, a nobody with a family. Tony Stark wants to be a house husband - he just doesn’t feel he CAN be. Tony doesn’t keep going back to being Iron Man for any ///healthy/// reasons, y’all. He goes back because he’s traumatized, terrified that if he quits the world will implode, and because he hates himself. Tony keeps trying to quit NOT because he loves Pepper and she is making him, but because he loves her and agrees with her on some level. 

Tony has never been a character to do what someone else asked just because they asked for it (Stane having to lie and manipulate him, Rhodey admitting he’s never been able to control Tony despite being a major part of his life, Tony defying Howard constantly once he was old enough to do so, Tony defying Steve and Nick Fury directly despite liking both of them, Tony buying Pepper presents she doesn’t want because HE thinks it’s the right thing to do, etc). He’s always been a character who makes changes when someone has a POINT. Pepper has a point! A point that Rhodey can’t/won’t make without being a hypocrite. Ultimately, Pepper represents the life Tony wants to have and would have if he wasn’t so incredibly invaluable to world security. I’d argue till I’m blue in the face that Tony Stark loves Pepper Potts in the MCU /because/ she wants him to retire and live a simple life, guilt be damned, world be damned, because she cares about him first and foremost. And while that may be a tragedy as long as Tony is still needed…This is the Endgame. And I’d still say Tony’s monologue is hopeful because after this? After this he might finally be able to entrust the world to other people. After this he’s not carrying the fear of space alone. His worst nightmare has been realized and other people are actively working to stop it. Maybe he’ll be able to retire. He certainly hopes so. 

TLDR: Pepper Potts understands Iron Man better than anyone else and is the one person in Tony’s life willing to give him the chance to quit and live a normal life. She is willing to alleviate the guilt that weighs him down. Pepper is a healthy force for him in the MCU and, knowing this, Tony hopes that after this final battle that he will be able to settle down with her for good, making his trailer monologue remain as something hopeful + highlighting the difference between himself and the other Avengers. 

[the-desolated-quill]

Toy Story: Why I Love Chucky - Quill’s Scribbles

Yes! Yes! Yes! I know you’re waiting impatiently for me to continue reviewing Doctor Who and I will get back to it, I promise. But the trailer for Orion Pictures Child’s Play reboot was released yesterday and I want to take a moment to talk about quite possibly one of the weirdest horror franchises ever made.

My long term followers will know that I’m not really a fan of gory horror films due to the fact that I’m a grade A wuss whose backbone went on holiday to Barcelona in 1996 and never returned. However, as squeamish as I am at the sight of blood, I don’t mind gore so much if it’s in a comedic context. It’s why I don’t find the gore in Deadpool frightening. It’s cartoony and over the top, knowingly poking fun at other violent superheroes like Wolverine and the Punisher. The same is true of the Evil Dead films. Yes they’re violent, but there’s also a camp silliness to them that relieves the tension. The Child’s Play franchise is different in that the first three films (the first Child’s Play in particular) are intended to be straightforward horror films. A serial killer transferring his soul into a child’s toy and killing people. And yes, that is really scary... but... it’s a child’s toy.

It was this that allowed me to get into the Child’s Play movies. Yes it’s gory. Yes it’s often frightening. But it’s also downright hilarious.

I mean just listen to the premise. A serial killer called Charles Lee Ray, aka Chucky, uses a voodoo spell he just happens to have learnt to transfer his soul into a doll in order to escape from the cops. Then rather than do something sensible like keep a low profile, he instead chooses to start killing the family who bought him. Then, weirder still, he tries to transfer his soul into Andy Barclay, the boy who owns the doll, and that’s his motive for each subsequent movie because Andy is the first person to learn the secret of Chucky and therefore is the only eligible body Chucky can possess. Oh yeah, and if Chucky doesn’t possess Andy, then the doll will become more human and his soul will be trapped in it forever.

I mean... what can you possibly say to that? It’s so odd and random, it practically borders on self parody. Which is fortunate because that’s EXACTLY what the franchise ends up doing!

After Child’s Play 3, the next two films in the franchise, Bride Of Chucky and Seed Of Chucky, veer heavily into horror comedy territory. We’re introduced to Chucky’s girlfriend Tiffany, played by Jennifer Tilly, who also gets her soul transferred into a doll and the two try to possess the bodies of an eloping couple. Then at one point in the film, the two dolls have sex... somehow... and at the end Tiffany gives birth to a ventriloquist dummy called Glen. 

But wait. That’s just Bride Of Chucky. Seed Of Chucky is even weirder.

So Glen reunites with Chucky and Tiffany in Hollywood and the three of them try to possess, I shit you not, Jennifer Tilly. Yes. The actual Jennifer Tilly. They also kidnap her chauffeur for Chucky and for Glen they need a baby to possess, so Tiffany gets Chucky to masturbate and then inseminates Jennifer Tilly with a turkey baster. 

Oh, and then it turns out Glen has a split personality called Glenda who has inherited all of Chucky’s murderous impulses because this film isn’t weird enough already. The plan completely falls apart however when Chucky refuses to give up being a serial killer in order to raise a family, wanting to now stay as a doll forever, Tiffany dies and Glen kills Chucky. Five years later, Jennifer Tilly gives birth to twins, Glen and Glenda, and she then kills the nanny, revealing that Tiffany managed to transfer her soul into Jennifer’s body after all. So Jennifer Tilly is playing Tiffany playing Jennifer Tilly.

Yes, I know. It’s stupid. It’s crazy. It’s convoluted as fuck. These films make absolutely no sense whatsoever... and I LOVE them!

I know there are die hard Child’s Play fans who really don’t like Bride and Seed, but I personally adore them. They are just so unashamedly daft, it’s hard not to enjoy yourself watching them. I think what helps is that the central premise itself is inherently silly, so it makes sense to dive headfirst into the ridiculous comedy of it all, and Bride and Seed seem to take the Gremlins 2 route of being satires of horror sequels rather than being actual horror sequels. Hell, Chucky basically gives up his quest to find a human body and chooses to stay as a doll simply because it’s a good marketing gimmick. How can you not love that kind of tongue in cheek self awareness?

Bride and Seed are canon by the way. I’m not even joking. The next two movies have narrative ties to them. Tiffany even shows up in Curse Of Chucky, still in Jennifer Tilly’s body, and the writer Don Mancini has said that Glen/Glenda will be coming back too.

After Seed Of Chucky, Child’s Play went the straight to DVD route, but unlike most straight to DVD movies, Curse Of Chucky and Cult Of Chucky were actually surprisingly good. These films go back to the original Child’s Play’s darker horror roots, but manage to maintain the self aware humour of Bride and Seed. They’re not as funny as those films, but they’re still really entertaining and really suspenseful, as well as adding interesting lore to the franchise. In Curse Of Chucky, the family he’s terrorising turn out to have been old friends of his until he killed them and severely injured a heavily pregnant Sarah, which caused the main character Nica to be a paraplegic and is actually the crime Chucky was running away from in the first film before transferring his soul into the doll. After that, in Cult Of Chucky, we see a now grown up Andy Barclay return and we’re introduced to the idea that Chucky somehow managed to transfer his soul into multiple dolls. I haven’t the faintest idea how that works, but it honestly leads to some of the funniest scenes in the movie, so I’m not complaining. It’s also nice to see a horror film set in a mental hospital that doesn’t make mentally ill people the bad guys. Oh and Kyle, Andy’s step sister from the second film, comes back in a post credits scene to torture the original Chucky doll, so that should be interesting.

And that’s the original Child’s Play movies. They’re intense, frightening, silly, farcical and utterly enjoyable. I’m not in any way suggesting they’re groundbreaking movies, but they’re unique in that they’re a real oddity in the slasher genre and have managed to carve a nice little niche for themselves.

In my opinion, two things contribute to Child’s Play’s success. The first is Brad Dourif as Chucky. He’s amazing. A maniacal, charismatic performance that’s both frightening and hysterical in equal measure. Like Robert Englund as Freddy Krueger, Dourif has become intrinsically linked to the character. You can’t imagine anyone else playing him. The second is the franchise’s creator Don Mancini. Unlike the vast majority of horror franchises that are often ripped away from their original creators and become little more than shallow cash cows for movie studios, Don Mancini has managed to keep hold of the rights to Chucky. He has written every single movie and directed Seed, Curse and Cult. He’s like the Doug Naylor of horror movies. He created this franchise, he loves this franchise, he got the franchise through its various rough patches and when he became sick of studio interference, he just went ‘fuck it’ and decided to make his own Chucky films instead. So there is a consistent narrative voice throughout all the films, which is rare not just for horror films, but films in general. Films, especially sequels, are often passed from screenwriter to screenwriter before being approved for production, so to have a franchise authored entirely by one person makes Chucky stand out. It’s what made the bizarre comedy in Bride and Seed feel less alien to the much darker Child’s Play trilogy and the straight to DVD movies. They’re clearly written by the same person and use a similar foundation to build off of. It’s this that also makes the films unique. Franchises, especially horror franchises, tend to grow stale as they end up just rehashing the same material over and over. Child’s Play looked like it was going in that direction, but then Bride Of Chucky came out and the franchise took a complete left turn, taking both the story and the audience in a new direction we weren’t expecting. It’s Don Mancini’s willingness to experiment and try new things and take risks that has allowed the franchise to continue this long and maintained people’s interest. We want to know what happens next. We want to see what the next weird thing is going to be.

Speaking of which...

Yes, not even Chucky could escape from Hollywood’s obsession with rebooting 80′s movies rather than coming up with their own ideas. Yesterday we got our first look at the new Child’s Play movie, which... Yeah.... Looks okay, I guess.... So lets talk about it.

For starters, there’s some confusion as to how this movie even exists. Just to be clear, this film isn’t canon to the original movies and Don Mancini’s version of Chucky is still going to continue. In fact this is the first Chucky film where Mancini isn’t involved, which should tell you everything you need to know about this movie in and of itself. I’ve been looking into how all this works. Apparently MGM hold the rights for Child’s Play, but Mancini holds the rights for Chucky. So Mancini can still make Chucky films. He just can’t call them Child’s Play. And MGM can still make Child’s Play films. They just can’t use all the voodoo magic stuff. (I think that’s how it works. If someone wants to correct me, feel free).

So the new Child’s Play doesn’t have a serial killer trying to transfer his soul into a little boy. Instead we have a rogue AI terrorising a family whose son looks far too old to be playing with dolls anyway. 

This does not feel like Child’s Play... and yet, strangely, it is.

When Mancini first came up with the idea for Chucky, he envisioned it as a satire on commercialism. How the modern world has become obsessed with objects and possessions, using Chucky to represent our own materialist culture attacking us. Obviously that’s not what the films ended up being, but just like how the the Nightmare On Elm Street remake resurrected Wes Craven’s original idea of Freddy Krueger being a paedophile as opposed to a child killer, the Child’s Play reboot seems to be playing around with this idea too. You could argue there is a commentary to be made about how dependant we’ve gotten not just on commercialism, but smart AI as well. And no, I’m not talking Skynet or the Terminator. I’m talking about something on a more intimate scale. In this digital age we live in, nearly everything is connected to the internet. Our TVs, our phones, our computers, our cars, our electricity meters and, yes, even our children’s toys. Giving Chucky power over the wifi, making him representative of our dependency on technology and how much AI has become entrenched into our society, could be a really scary idea to explore and it gives this reboot some real legitimacy.

But here’s the thing. The idea of smart technology running amok as a way of commenting on our over-reliance on it is a great idea for a horror movie in and of itself. But does it really need Chucky? Or are they just using brand recognition to get bums on seats?

Earlier I said that Hollywood prefers to reboot old movies rather than come up with their own ideas. The truth is there are plenty of new ideas in Hollywood. They just don’t want to take a risk on a new IP. So they’ll take an existing brand and tie it into the new idea in the hopes that it’ll get people interested, rather than trusting in both the creative team behind the idea and the audience to go and watch the bloody thing. It’s a really annoying trend that needs to stop. Once upon a time, Chucky was an original idea that someone took a risk on. Now it’s a profitable franchise in its own right and it’s still going strong. The same is true of Star Wars and Harry Potter and many other popular franchises. We can’t keep returning to the same well. If we do, the industry will become stagnant and audiences will eventually get bored. Studios need to take risks in order to find the next Star Wars. The next Harry Potter. The next Chucky.

I’ll still go and see the reboot. Mark Hamill is no Brad Dourif, but he’s an amazing voice actor in his own right and I’m sure he’ll be good in the role. And who knows? Maybe the film will be really good and reinvent the wheel. I just don’t understand why this needs to be associated with Chucky when it’s premise would work just as well, if not better, without him.

Fortunately, regardless of what happens with this reboot, the original Chucky will continue. A TV series is currently in development as well as a sequel to Cult Of Chucky and plans for a crossover with Nightmare On Elm Street tentatively called Child’s Play On Elm Street (I confess I haven’t seen any of the Elm Street films, but having watching the Chucky movies and from what I know of Freddy Krueger, that just seems like a match made in heaven. I can’t wait to see it). Don Mancini will be continuing to write for the franchise for the foreseeable future and I’m excited to see what’s in store for Chucky. It may not be the greatest horror franchise ever made, but it’s definitely the most unique and creative.

[professortennant]

Sam/Jack Rec List, Pt. 1

This is mostly for me in case my bookmarks are lost but yeah! I’ve gone through like 90% of AO3, a good chunk of ff.net, and I just dived into LJ. But since I have 103 fics already bookmarked, I’m just gonna put this list up first and then add to it later. 

Plz read the tags of each fic to avoid stuff you don’t wanna read. If you read something and love it, GO TELL THE AUTHOR SO THEY WRITE MORE.

Absolute Fucking Favorites (aka I have read these more times than I feel comfortable admitting)

We Made It Series: A series of connected episode tags beginning with Forever in a Day. Sam shows up on Jack's doorstep with a six pack of beer, a bottle of cheap wine and a package of chicken breasts. Jack's confused. They cook dinner.

Taking Christmas Off: How Sam and Jack end up spending Christmas alone together every single year, accidentally at first, and then very much on purpose. A fluffy/shippy Christmas fic in eight parts, with spoilers through season 8.

The Dreams We Left Behind: The day Sam Carter marries Pete Shanahan is not the worst day of Jack’s life; he’s already lived that day. But that doesn't make it easy.

Like Kissing a Stranger: There is not one day he spends on this planet, or any other, that his mouth doesn't get him into trouble.(An episode tag for Point Of View.)

Retrospective: Sam doesn’t give it a name, this feeling. She doesn’t even think about it much, preferring to glimpse it obliquely from the corner of her eye. It’s a secret delight that she shares with no one, scarcely even herself.One story in eight parts charting Sam and Jack’s relationship from the start of S1 to the end of S8.

The Short Straw: She hadn't set out to cheat, certainly, but had thought that she'd at least be able to interpret her own work in a way that would lead to victory. (Tag for Shades of Grey)

Post-Eps/Episode Tags (except for Threads, which is its own category)

The Price of Edora: Sam suffers the consequences of pushing herself too hard in order to bring Jack back from Edora. 

For Just One Taste of This: After that, though, things got tricky and dangerous because they pushed a little more and went a little (a lot) further off that deep end, and soon it was the two of them alone in the empty barracks and this wasn’t wrong, was it, just sitting side by side in the darkness? (Post Divide and Conquer)

Let Your Demons Run: (here can't be that many eyes in the building that haven't noticed her. Post-ep for Entity.

Midnight at the Oasis: What if Abydos wasn't destroyed, and Jack and Sam really did go to Skaara's wedding? A short AU based on the wonderful (!) exchange among the three at the beginning of Full Circle.

Thyself, Unknown: And then they were strangers again and their world was brand new with signs of aging. Beneath the Surface 

Unlearn your Stars: Thera turned her eyes toward the ceiling, as if she could see through the miles of earth and snow to the sky beyond. Something about her seemed to yearn, and for reasons he could not fathom Jonah felt like Thera belonged there. Among the stars. (Beneath the Surface)

Transcendental: Alternate Sam and Jack who got stranded in the alternate timeline in Moebius. 

The Fundamental Theorem of Samantha Carter: Samantha Carter knew precisely what she wanted. And then she didn’t. S.8 Full Alert through Threads with references to Gemini.

The Rainy Season: Tag for The Light. Their arguing was beginning to grate on her nerves.

Icarus Ascending: What if Jack and Sam didn't keep it in the room after all? A/U tag to Divide and Conquer. 

The Space Between: There's a little space between them on the bed. Small enough to be close, but enough space to remind them where the line should be. (tag for Death Knell.)

Mimesis: Jack tries to help Carter deal with her time spent with Fifth and the Replicators.

A Rush of Blood to the Head: "You volunteering to come with me, Carter?" Sam and Jack deal (or don't) with the creation of mini!Jack.

The Breaking Point: Daniel’s ‘death’ in Meridian forces Sam Carter to reevaluate her life and what really matters to her.

Window on a Room: The first time around, Sam had found that face the Colonel was making to be endearing, in the increasingly problematic way she found pretty much everything he did to be endearing. The second time, she had found it alarming - not the Colonel specifically, of course, just the fact that she’d already experienced that exact moment not ten hours earlier. She went from being alarmed on the second loop to being frustrated, baffled and discouraged in subsequent loops as their attempts to stop the looping had all failed. And now that they had settled into this routine, with Sam and Teal’c, loop after loop, learning to translate the altar text themselves, well now she was just tired. Not even the Colonel’s problematically endearing face was helping.Another loop, she thought to herself. Here we go again.

black holes and revelations: It’s late and dark and as far as she’s concerned, the world has stopped for them (they’d done the Earth a few favors, it's time one was returned).

Lifelines: Everyone expects her to be so resilient--but beneath her calm exterior seethe emotions beyond her control and understanding. Months post "Beneath the Surface", Sam finally has to face it all, and find a way to accept the way things have to be.

Reflections on a Broken Surface: Episode tag to Beneath the Surface. How Sam and Jack became a couple in the ep. 

Tilting at Windmills: Jack's struggling to deal with the events of Euronda and Alar's people. Angry, depressed, and alone, he needs Sam's help to find his way home, literally, and figuratively.

untitled: Sam/Jack, word prompt- 'never' Episode tag to Death Knell

the art of reincarnation: Detoxing in a Goa’uld palace, Jack struggles with something he can't let go, and Sam struggles with everything.

Cracks in the Glass: Doctor Carter has stepped through the mirror-seeking refuge from her ravaged world. Her presence forces Sam and Jack to question their own decisions. Sam and Jack focused episode enhancement to "Point of View".

Before the Invitation: A chance meeting in the commissary leads to some unintended revelations. (Set just prior to 'Nemesis')

Threads

Full Disclosure: She looks at him with that complex expression that’s punctuated their relationship ever since Pete barged onto the scene. The one that looks like a question, or a plea – the one he’s never really understood and has never dared pursue.

Down to the Bone: She knows now, what’s essential.

Sooner: Some bonus scenes for "Threads," because a lot went on in and around that episode that we just didn't get to see.

an angel came down: The first Christmas after her father dies is rough. The second Christmas after her father dies is better.

Breathe In: It wasn’t an immediate thing, despite what people thought. They didn’t jump each other the second SG1 was on vacation, with her emotionally vulnerable after her father’s death and no longer engaged, or him now free of SG Command and DC-bound.

Sam or Jack are Tortured/Abused (but it ends happily)

Primary Emotion: After seventeen weeks of torture in a Goa'uld prison, Samantha Carter is rescued by SG-1. In the time that follows she must relearn how to relate to her team, reassess her relationships with both herself and others, and decide whether or not she'll continue to step through the Stargate. Luckily she's got the benefit of a good psychologist and the love of a great man.

Character: SG1 is kidnapped by an alien king who needs Sam to perpetuate his bloodline & will do anything to possess her. The team must find a way to escape before she pays the ultimate price for her defiance. 

Compos Mentis: After Colonel O'Neill is stranded on a seemingly friendly planet, it's up to his team to rescue him. Who they find, though, isn't the man they left behind.

Crawl from the Chasm: After Jack's experiences in Ba'al's Abyss, he struggles to find peace. Angsty Jack/Sam Ship.

After All: They’d been trapped for a month. He’d been tortured within an inch of her life. And then their roles had been reversed.

All We Need of Hell: Jack is captured and tortured and when he returns, he just doesn’t see the point in following the regs anymore--Sam is essential. And he convinces her to forget the regs, too. (Dark fic). (chap 2)

Aliens Made Them Do It

Auctions and Consequences: Slavery has been abolished for good reason, but apparently not everyone got the memo… landing Sam and Jack in hot water.

Auction and Reaction (sequel to the above): Jack manages to get himself captured and Sam is sent to negotiate for his freedom. Unfortunately, the matriarch in charge of the male slaves is unconvinced of her claim and threatens to keep Jack as her personal slave.

Relief: How they'd managed to gate to a planet right in the middle of their annual fertility festival was beyond him.

in doorways and dreams i run to you: They had stepped through the gate together. They were looking for something.Light.There had been a blinding light and then nothing. Nothing but the heat and the taste of his skin on her lips. And now he was on his knees and she wasn't stopping him from sliding a hand underneath her.

Beautiful Far Away: While on a routine exploratory mission, Colonel Jack O'Neill and Captain Samantha Carter get caught up in a children's game that turns out to be the beginning of Rorilian marriage rites. When seismic activity starts to rock the village, the local leaders demand the ritual be seen through to its natural conclusion to avoid further angering their gods. Sam's equipment suggests the tremors are caused by an unidentifiable metal, but her science seems to be a point of contention amongst the leaders. She's convinced she needs just a little more time to figure out what is happening on the planet. Unfortunately, that means she's jumping into a ritual marriage with her new commanding officer. What could possibly go wrong?

Xanadu: The team travels offworld to take care of some mining negotiations, only to meet with an unanticipated challenge on P3X-427.

5 Times Fic

Five Times Jack Sees Sam Out of Uniform

The Nature We Leave Behind Us: 5 Times Daniel (and Teal’c) find out or suspect about Sam and Jack

Five Times Jack Came Close to Breaking the Frat Regs with Sam

Desperation: 5 times Jack kisses Sam

Ambient: 3 morning-afters that they miss and 1 they don’t.

5 missing ship scenes from s9/s10

5 times jack asked sam out and 1 time he didn’t have to

Stranded/Retired/Moved Off-World

My Scars Healed (aka the Cottage AU): Abandoned off-world, living is about more than just survival.

In Media Res: When Sam and Jack are taken captive and put to work in a mining camp, that turns out to be the least of their troubles. Forced by circumstance to live in close proximity, their time as captives has consequences neither one foresees.

Compliance: The end comes fast. One moment it’s a normal day with paperwork and bad coffee and the next it’s a scramble for the event horizon as the Mountain comes down around them. The base empties out with surprising efficiency, and by the time Jack hangs up the red phone on the last conversation he’ll ever have with the President, only Carter and Daniel and a couple techs are still in the gate room, the last of the supplies being sent through to their fall back site.

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together: Dear Airline, I was marooned on an alien planet…

And then I dreamt of yes: The universe has really bad timing, but neither Sam or Jack is ready to give it the last word. 

The Final Straw: Sam's injured and trapped off-world. 

Twilight: General O'Neill gets ansty to do some Gate travel, but a natural phenomenon on another world causes problems and changes things

Bird Stealing Bread: Jack had actually imagined being stranded off-world quite a few times. But he really, really, really hadn't counted on being stranded off-world with Sam. And Pete.

Under the Sun: ABANDONED FIC BUT IT’S SO GOOD. When lightning strikes the DHD and strands Sam and Jack alone on a planet, they must rely on one another to get through until help can arrive. Soon, though, they discover they're not alone on the planet and things change. Suddenly they're thrust into local politics and Sam is drafted to help save the locals' lives. Perhaps, if they play their cards right, all of it can help them get home.

Total AU

String Theory: Dr. Samantha Carter joins the SGC and discovers a life she never expected.

Imprimatura: Even in a completely different reality, where a strictly enforced color-based caste system stands between them, some things remain the same.

How to Start a Fire: She denies it's physical attraction. He denies it's anything but. Sam/Jack. Changeling Universe.

Convergence Series: Jack O’Neill is a man waiting to die, and she’s the only one brave enough not to look away.

Right as rain: Jack never went on the Abydos mission. Charlie never died. But when Jack accidentally activates a device that Kawalsky brings by the Academy, he catches the interest of a certain Major Carter. Soon he finds himself in for one hell of a ride, and if aliens and space travel and weird DNA weren't crazy enough, he might actually be falling in love with a theoretical astrophysicist...

The Dating Game: Catherine Langford had been instrumental in getting AU Sam/Jack together in There But For The Grace of God

Defining Family: Set after "Ripple Effect". What happens to Janet and the rest of the alternate SG-1 team after the episode? How does it affect our reality?

Worlds Apart: An Ancient device sends Jack and Sam to a world where everything is just a little bit... wrong. Why? Can they cope with the differences? And, most importantly, can they find their way back?

I don’t know what to categorize these as but they’re amazing

Deep City Lights: He picks her up in a blue convertible. (Road trip fic where they say ‘fuck the regs’ and then remember the regs)

we build then we break (and build up again): Sam’s last mission on SG-1, and the life that follows.

the slow revelation of self: In the beginning there was sex. And it was good.

untitled: on a mission, sam and jack are painting their mark on a wall.

things not dreamed: Daniel doesn't understand their need to fly. 

Cultural Drift: Six days before the shit hit the fan and nothing was ever the same again, Daniel fell over a tablet on P3X-324. That was two years ago.

Concentric Unto Thee: Her attempts at normality have never worked before, and Jack won't stand for any attempts to apply the logic of command to their relationship.

the lesson: Jack and Sam haven’t wasted the three years they’ve been cut off from Earth…and though the price is high, they manage to teach that lesson to another couple who badly needed to learn it. 

Escape Pod: "I just need," shift, "to move," shift, "a little." (Accidental Stimulation fic) Tonight: It's been too many years of it, the death, the resurrection, the sheer and aching loneliness, the hurt that comes from walking away.

Rocket Fuel: Sam and Jack get together after Heroes but also AU + Christmas.

Home Economics:  He would never have imagined that the biggest problem Sam Carter would have with his house would be his toaster.

Atlantis/Continuum

Gravity Always Wins in the End: After Sam is held hostage, Jack takes an impromptu trip to Atlantis.

Backlit:  Carter turns 43 years old on day 6 of a 14-day run to P98-007 aboard the General Hammond. The only events that mark the occasion are the little note Daniel must have stuffed into her pack before she left, a cheerful "Happy Birthday, Ma'am" from her second over a morning cup of coffee, and a long stare at herself in the mirror after she washes her face before bed. It's not like she expected more.

Yesterday’s Life: She feels frayed and faded, like a scrap of fabric accidentally discarded and forced to weather the elements. S/J, spoilers for Stargate: Continuum.

Distance: Sam contemplates the difficulties of a long distance relationship with Jack on Valentine's Day...

Post-Series

Look Again Into Your Heart: It's not that cold, not by the standard of some of the places she's been in the last decade or so of her life, but then again, she's not used to braving the weather in heels and an evening dress.

Follow the Star of the North: When Jack talked about losing himself in Minnesota, Sam never really understood the appeal.

Radio Silence: “It’s Mitchell.”He grabbed the phone out of her hand, smiling at the horrified expression on her face when he flicked it open and held it to his ear.“This is General O’Neill. Is the world ending?”

Rainy Days: Sam and Jack spend a rainy day at the cabin

The Lies You Feed Yourself: They simply aren’t part of each other’s worlds anymore. They haven’t been for years. Jack and Sam three years after they leave the SGC.

Bygones: He's a man of few words. Sam, however, wants to hear a couple of specific ones - at least once. It takes another woman to help her understand just how her husband communicates. 

Twelve Years Two Weeks: She had finally 'switched off'. It had taken her a few days to rid herself of the itch that she was neglecting a to-do list the size of her arm.

DC Series: SG-1 is moving on, but Sam is standing still.

Interlude: Jack turns up unexpectedly, and he and Sam make an important decision.

fly me to the moon: Jack is baffled. What do you do for a woman's 40th birthday when she routinely explores alien planets, has blown up a sun, and raced in the Loop of Kon Garat? Give her the moon of course. 

Folding a Map: Distance makes Jack an unhappy camper.

Taur’i Whispers: "He likes her throaty laugh. He likes that her voice has dropped and softened in the years he's known her." - Sam/Jack, romance and a bit of angst and hurt/comfort

Blue Dark: The sun’s barely peeking above the horizon and already she’s up, perched on a stool at the breakfast bar in his kitchen, her index finger circling the rim of her coffee cup.“And we have to go to this?” she asks, taking a sip of the hot beverage.

Un-fish: “Caught any un-fish?” she asked softly.Their lives would never be normal because of little things like fish that were or were not there and sometimes he wondered who had done what exactly to his pond to drive the fish away. He knew better than to ask, unwilling to listen to her explain to him the various possibilities of… whatever.

Real Life: This was what she'd been waiting for, held out for all those years. Someone -- him -- to come home with every night, to sink into after saving the world or spending three days dug in on an alien planet with fifty-odd Jaffa between her team and the 'gate, someone who knew just how she liked to be touched... She rolled onto her back, offering sleepy kisses when his lips crossed hers, sighing when his wandering hands brushed across her belly... 

[benthecavers]

My Top 5 Television Characters

Television has played a significant part of my life in recent years; it is my way of escaping the harsh reality of today’s world. Whenever I am feeling sad or upset, television is my answer to escape reality. Television has helped when the going gets tough, especially with recent personal issues.

What makes a good television programme are strong and relatable characters… What I look for in a TV character is a strong and complex backstory, takes no for an answer, heart; and even if you hate them, you can’t help but root for them! The majority of characters are British, mostly from BBC dramas Casualty and Holby City which have produced some very memorable characters over the years, plus being my guilty pleasures.

Here is a list of my 5 favourite TV characters:

5. Lindsay Denton

BBC drama, Line of Duty have produced some very memorable character in its so far four series run, but none quite as memorable as Series 2 suspected bent copper, Lindsay Denton played by Keeley Hawes.

Her downfall begins as she was entrusted to lead a police convoy escorting a civilian under witness protection (the civilian being one of the criminals from the first series of the police drama) is attacked by gunmen, with the civilian critically injured and all police officer are killed, with the exception of Lindsay Denton.

Lindsay Denton is regarded as iconic for her no non-sense demeanour and isn’t afraid to rub other people up the wrong way… She is a Detective Inspector and is incredibly intelligent. DI Denton is emotionally tortured as police in her department resent her for the death of her colleagues during the convoy.

She becomes the centre of an Anti-Corruption investigation by AC-12 and doesn’t take kindly to the fact that she had an undercover officer working alongside her. She is very quick to out AC-12’s undercover officer, Kate Fleming (played by Vicky McClure) and assaults her away from the public and CCTV cameras. She is questioned by AC-12 on the charge of conspiracy to murder, but it Lindsay isn’t afraid to show her aces as she publicly humiliates the AC-12 team with their own discretions.

Lindsay is a character you want to hate, but you do root for her as the series progresses. She has a short-temper as exhibited by assaulting an alcoholic neighbour with a wine bottle, or even assaulting a parole officer who attempted to have sex with her.

She is ultimately arrested for conspiracy to murder and perverting the course of justice, later being released to see her dying mother as well as two corrupt police officers kidnapping her in a prison van, killing one and seriously injuring the other when fearing for her life. She is later sent back to prison for life when the jury convict her of conspiracy to murder… But it was not the last we see her!

Her saving grace was during Series 3, she is released from prison when her appeal for conspiracy to murder was granted and the evidence later quashed following indiscretions by AC-12 officer, Steve Arnott (played by Martin Compston). You can’t fault her commitment for being a police officer, but with the question of perverting the course of justice still lingering over her head, the prospect of her returning back to policing was not good.

She certainly became quite the confidante when Steve Arnott came to her as he was now under AC-12’s investigation. Lindsay helped Steve with his inquiry into historic child sex abuse, but she comes back into the radar of Dot Cottan (Craig Parkinson) who arrests her and demanded Lindsay to destroy the list of evidence which will convict a number of politicians and police officers involved in the child sexual abuse scandal. Lindsay demanded to see AC-12 first before being sent to prison, as not only would she turn in the list, but also Dot for being ‘The Caddy’. She is shot dead by Dot in the final confrontation as she emails the list to AC-12 which charges the list of suspects involved in historic child sexual abuse.

Lindsay Denton is calculating, manipulative and cold; you wouldn’t to be in a fight with her as you will clearly lose, but she is a good ally to have when the going gets tough.

4. Henrik Hanssen

Calm, controlled and very mysterious, Henrik Hanssen was the character that got me watching Holby City religiously for the past 5 years. Guy Henry’s tall, enigmatic Swedish character caused a stir when he first walked on the wards of Holby City in Series 13 Episode 1 “Shifts” as joint Director of Surgery of Holby City Hospital, ruffling the feathers of Connie Beauchamp who was appointed in the same role.

Henrik Hanssen arrived as the grim reaper, being hired in by the Department of Health to oversee cuts within the hospital.

Henrik is a bit of an enigma, his private life he’d rather not discuss, he doesn’t usually display public emotion so willingly, and remains ice cool when the going gets tough.

During his first three years at Holby, he has been at the helm during the well-known plastics scandal storyline which almost closed down the hospital’s leading Cardiothoracic Surgical Unit, the subsequent deferral and later gaining Foundation Trust status at the hospital, the downfall following Richie Mooney’s father dying during the hospital’s trial AAU non-referral scheme, and of course flying back to Sweden to be with his son and grandchild.

Another intriguing storyline during his first tenure was his relationship with CT surgeon, Sahira Shah (Laila Rouass). Sahira was previously a junior under Hanssen and was specially employed as a new registrar on Darwin, which saw her go head-to-head against Jac for Connie’s old consultancy post which Jac ultimately won. His relationship is further intriguing as Hanssen tried to continually further her career with conference trips, delisting her official warnings and even making her husband jealous that she was getting close to fellow CT surgeon, Greg Douglas (which they did!) Certainly, Hanssen was distraught when Sahira left for Nottingham (my home city!) When he temporarily left during Series 15, he left for Sweden as we find out his father is dying and finally meets the son he has never met with his former love, Maja.

Following Hanssen’s initial exit, we were overjoyed when he returned back in Series 17 as Chief Executive Officer. Hanssen in his recent years has thawed as his backstory is further explored… During Series 18, he wrestled to keep his position as CEO from an ever-ambitious Guy Self (John Michie) who originally stepped down to focus on his neurosurgical super centre. Whilst he has been a vocal point by supporting other storylines, notably Arthur Digby’s death and supporting his junior doctors, it wasn’t long before his family reappear.

His fractured relationship with his son was ever present during Series 19 when he appeared initially as a patient. Hanssen was unnerved that a drugs trial from his son’s pharmaceutical company led to a number of patient deaths, which he ultimately severed his ties with his son for covering the information up. Fredrik returns as a registrar later on, one to gain his father’s approval but second to sell another trial drug… His attempts fail, with devastating consequences.

Fredrik returned with once more, this time with a vendetta against the hospital staff at Holby, who Hanssen favoured over him… He fatally kills Raf and severely injures Jac and Oliver with a rifle, only for Fredrik to be killed by armed police. The downfall from the shooting saw Hanssen become guilt ridden for his son’s actions and his depression explored. Right now, his storyline has been with colleagues and former university friends Roxanna MacMillan and John Gaskell

Hanssen is interesting; icy cool and calm under pressure, but underneath the surface lies a mentally exhausted gentleman… He’s a firm but fair hospital boss; he may look scary at first glance but he is loyal to his staff and close friends.

3. Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane

The only animated character to make the list goes to one very handsome Takashi ‘Shiro’ Shirogane…

Shiro was the Garrison’s star pilot, breaking every single record known to man, but deep down his ambition has led to somewhat interesting backstory. His family backstory is unknown, suffers from a neuro-degenerative condition and was in a same-sex relationship with the lovely Adam (daggers at the Voltron writers!)

His story starts very early on; he was one of three pilots to have been at the helm of the failed Kerberos mission, kidnapped by the Galra and used a warrior to fend off the universe’s strongest creatures. His battling has led to a number of physical and mental health changes; his fringe turning white from the stress endured during his time being captive in the Galra, noticeable scar across his nose, his right arm amputated with a mechanised prosthetic and suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

He did manage to escape Galra captivity and crash landed back on earth, only to be quarantined by the Galaxy Garrison and later rescued by Garrison cadets which are Keith, Lance, Pidge (Katie Holt) and Hunk. Soon enough, Shiro is back in space and becomes leader of the Paladins and captains the Black Lion.

He is a father figure to the younger Paladins; a leader and assertive but has been known to be a bit of goofball from time-to-time. Keith has looked up to Shiro, which he provided support before going to Kerberos, and Pidge thanked him for looking out for his brother during their captive years in the Galra. However, his memories during his captivity in the Galra often come back to haunt him in anger and frustration.

Shiro doesn’t seem to get a rest and continues to suffer… He has been cloned on more than one occasion, actually been killed and had his memories transplanted into the Black Lion. His clone, Kuron was similar to Shiro in some aspects, but was mainly used a monkey by the Galra to extract information about Voltron. The clash between Keith and Kuron saw the mechanised Galra arm amputated and soon enough, Shiro’s memories from the Black Lion was transferred into the clone, thus Shiro now coming back to life.

His hair is now fully white, his amputated right arm now replaced by an Altean floating arm… His return to the Garrison now means he is captain of the Atlas to defend Earth from the Galra.

I admire Shiro; brave, courageous and flawed… I want to give this man a hug!

2. Dylan Keogh

Currently one of the most popular characters gracing long-running medical drama, Casualty; William Beck’s Dylan Keogh is blunt and to the point… He doesn’t care about the emotional downfall of a potentially life-threatening medical condition he diagnoses.

Dylan is fascinating… He says things as he sees them; a spade is a spade; a tension pneumothorax is a tension pneumothorax and vice versa! He first appears as a GP in Series 25 but specially recruited to Holby as a consultant by Miriam Turner. He initially turned down the role of consultant after rescuing Hannah Fleet from a bus crash, but later accepts as he found his old GP career boring and wanted to get back into the excitement of emergency medicine.

In his first few episodes, he rubbed a number of staff up the wrong way… He often forgot his colleagues’ names, didn’t take advice from his fellow consultants about treatment of patients, and his bedside matter left a lot to be desired. However, he is a fantastic diagnostician, preferring the rarer illnesses than the hurly-burly to resus… This is evident in the majority of his episodes, his dry-wit and lack of compassion for his patients makes him all the more enjoyable.

His friendship with Zoe Hanna (Sunetra Sarker) was pure gold; the banter felt genuine and when Zoe left permanently for Detroit, Dylan was saddened to lose his one true friend. Zoe has been there for Dylan in a number of situations… She provided support following Hannah Fleet killing paramedic Polly Emerson, for which he blamed himself after his abrasive attitude toward Hannah, she helped with Dylan’s diagnosis of OCD and was she was the first person he confided in about his previous alcoholism and she confided in Dylan about her relationship with Max.

We cannot forget about his failed marriage to Sam Nicholls (Charlotte Salt), a former army major seconded to the E.D. as a doctor, Dylan didn’t appreciate his private life being aired in public… The pair had been estranged and soon deteriorated after Sam revealed an affair with Iain Dean (Michael Stevenson) during her GMC inquiry, leading to a very bitter divorce. Following the divorce, Dylan still harboured feelings for Sam when she was engaged with a relationship paediatric doctor, Tom Kent (Oliver Coleman), which saw Dylan leave after Series 27.

Dylan later returned in Series 29 originally as a Locum, but back full-time… His attitude has little changed, his lack of respect and bedside manner is still appalling, but all the more hilarious at the same time. His OCD was explored following the death of three patients under his care (none of them were his fault), his father making an appearance for which he has a bitter relationship with, blamed himself for not saving Caleb Knight (Richard Windsor) and more recently his alcoholism after his medical secondment to France to help injured refugees explored.

Dylan is compelling, tactless and normally shows zero empathy… Preferring the comfort of his houseboat and loyal dog, Dervla. Aww!

1. Jac Naylor

This wasn’t a tough choice for number one, Holby City’s very own ice queen and super b***h has come a long way since she first graced our screens in 2005! First appearing in Season 8 Episode 6 “Bird on a Wire”, there was no question she would be a bad egg.

Originally arriving as a Locum General Surgical Registrar, her main ambition was a permanent surgical post at Holby City, which she did receive later on in Season 8, but her prime target was to become Consultant which took much longer than previously hoped, having achieved it 5 years later in Season 13 after fulfilling Connie’s job.

Jac is quite a vile character on the face of it, often sleeping her way to get to the top of her career, and she isn’t afraid to ruffle feathers in the process. She has had some very memorable relationships, most interesting of them all being Joseph Byrne (played by Luke Roberts). Whilst Joseph and Jac’s initial relationship was blossoming, Jac had an ulterior motive however as Joseph is the son of very Senior CT Consultant, Lord Byrne; leading to Jac having an affair with him in order to secure a permanent Consultant position of her own… And guess what, it didn’t end well! Lord Byrne passed away as it became apparent Lord Byrne and Jac were having an affair, which lead to growing animosity from Joseph, wanting to get rid of Jac at all costs! Their animosity waned as Joseph began to know more about Jac’s past and becomes sympathetic… Joseph was Jac’s true love and when Joseph decided to leave Holby with his new baby from his previous marriage to Faye Morton (Patsy Kensit), Jac was distraught. Rosie Marcel knows how popular Jac and Joseph’s relationship is, and has reiterated that if she ever leaves Holby, Luke Roberts has promised he will be involved in her exit storyline… If it ever happens!

Her second year in Holby also explored her past; her reputation was already tainted with her affair with Lord Byrne, however it is established that she was previously in care and was a victim of rape after being assaulted by patient Alan Clooney, and more recently having to treat one of the staff members from her old care home. Her backstory was delved into further during Season 12 when her mother, Paula Burrows returns seeking a kidney transplant… Coincidence? It was discovered that Jac was abandoned at the age of 12 when Paula jetted off to India, leaving her behind and ultimately in care. Jac resented Paula but soon donated her kidney to her, hoping to re-establish a relationship with her mother, but as soon as she got her kidney, she decided to bugger off again to India, this time with Jac’s half-sister, Jasmine Burrows. Paula Burrows was poison and certainly explains why Jac is the way she is!

Despite Jac’s somewhat vile nature, she does have a heart which she doesn’t want other people to know about… Her friendship with Sacha Levy (Bob Barrett) is golden, her daughter Emma Naylor-Maconie from her previous relationship with Jonny Maconie is adorable, comforting Zosia March (Camilla Arfwedson) following the death of her close friend Arthur Digby (Rob Ostlere) and she is known for publicly backing her colleagues during confrontations… Notably protecting Jasmine Burrows (Lucinda Dryzek) when she was being bullied by Serena Campbell (Catherine Russell), and defending Donna Jackson (Jaye Jacobs) when a patient relative was stalking both her and Ric following their mother’s death.

Make no mistakes, Jac is an awful character but provides huge amount of depth… She doesn’t care what people think about her, she isn’t afraid to ruffle feathers and always wanting to be at the top of her career, no matter who she will take down. Rosie Marcel delivers a brilliant and memorable character; Jac’s dry-wit, awful bedside manner is combined with heart to people she genuinely cares about. She has been a mainstay at Holby for 13 years with the odd appearance in Casualty, and long may it continue…

One more thing… Jac may be a b***h, but she isn’t a snitch!

[antitheticpages]

KARA LYNN PALAMAS

NAME: kara lynn palamas NICKNAME(S): agent 33 (don't call her this) GENDER: cis female PRONOUNS: she/her BIRTHDAY: october 15, 1981 AGE: typically early to mid 30s SPECIES: human SEXUALITY: bisexual CURRENT LOCATION: manhattan, new york OCCUPATION: historian; agent of shield ETHNICITY: sri lankan-american NATIONALITY: american PLACE OF BIRTH: portland, me HOMETOWN: baltimore, md EDUCATION: high school; phd from brown university in classics, specialty in greco-roman studies & archeology JOB HISTORY: shield researcher; historian

FACECLAIM: maya stojan PHOTOSTATIC VEIL FACE CLAIMS: maggie q, kristin kreuk EYE COLOR: brown HAIR COLOR: dark brown, nearly black at times HAIR TYPE: thick, straight BODY TYPE: athletic HEIGHT: 5'6 WEIGHT: one hundred and thirty-five SCENT: PIERCINGS: none SCARS: you're going to have to read my long headcanon about this.

MOTHER: sheila palamas FATHER: tobias palamas SIBLINGS: leah palamas (sister) CHILDREN: verse dependent; penelope catherine hastings RELATIONSHIP STATUS: varies per verse; wesley isaiah hastings (deceased) FRIENDS: leo fitz is her best friend in the world. ENEMIES: hydra, sometimes shield

TRIGGER WARNINGS: mentions of various types of death, kidnapping, torture, mind control.

Kara was born in Maine, but later moved to Baltimore, Maryland with her family when her father left active air force and was recruited by shield. When she was 13 years old, her father, Tobias Palamas, unexpectedly died. the details surrounding his death were unknown, but the military spared no cost in seeing that her father has an honorable memorial service. at the time, Kara’s family knew nothing of his affiliation with shield, or even of the agency’s existence. they are never told of the heroism Tobias displayed in the moments leading to his death. it’s a mystery that follows her around for the next several years.

at 17 when she graduated high school and subsequently moved Providence, Rhode Island to begin her collegiate career on a full scholarship to brown university -- or at least that’s what they lead her to believe. she’s always enjoyed mythology and the ancient world, but her interest in the Ancient Greeks particularly manifested early on. in her junior year, she decided to continue onto higher education after obtaining her bachelor’s degree in ancient history and classics.

at 21 years old, Kara was accepted into Brown’s ancient history phd program. Her plans were interrupted when she was approached by an agency that calls themselves SHIELD, explaining that her help was need for a secret assignment in Los Alamos, New Mexico. Upon arrival of the shield containment facility in Los Alamos, she was assigned an agent to oversee her work and see to her safety during her time at the facility: thus, it was then she first met Agent Alex DePaul.

After the events that transpired in New Mexico, Kara had proven herself an asset in the eyes of S.H.I.E.L.D., and they decided it is time to fulfil their decades long plan of recruiting her as not only an asset, but a full blown agent. She decided then to commit to the agency and follow in her father’s footsteps, the details of his death having been finally revealed to her in thanks to Alex DePaul. For the next year, Kara spent nearly every day going through the rigorous motions of a compacted and unorthodox training program created and overseen by Agent DePaul, her official supervising officer. he taught her everything she needed to know in order to become a field agent. In this time, he became like a second father to her. 

Simultaneous to her training with agent DePaul, Kara was assigned as a researcher to project P.E.G.A.S.U.S., a previously decommissioned initiative that was reactivated by the world security council following the events in New Mexico. due to the highly sensitive nature of the research conducted there, shield also provided its security force, including one of shield's best operatives: CLINT BARTON.

Soon, Kara began working at a joint dark energy task force facility in the Mojave desert as a part of PROJECT P.E.G.A.S.U.S., working alongside ERIK SELVIG, whom she had previously met only briefly in Los Alamos. still among the team was CLINT BARTON, on orders to keep watchful eye over the tesseract – and those who were working on it. 

due to recent activity, agents NICK FURY and MARIA HILL visit the facility and decide that the facility must be evacuated. before any necessary precautions can be made, the tesseract activates, opening a portal from which LOKI appears. announcing his intention to conquer earth, Loki steals the tesseract and uses a scepter to enslave the minds of SELVIG, CLINT BARTON, and several agents, aiding him in his getaway. 

Kara was one of the lucky bystanders that not only escaped LOKI’s mind control, but are able to flee the building before it collapses. She lost dozens of friends and co-workers that day, but was grateful that both she and Agent DePaul made it out alive. 

Not long after, Kara was in New York continuing her training with Agent Alex DePaul when all hell broke loose in midtown, Manhattan. All hands were needed on deck and Agent DePaul was then authorized to bring her along to Stark Tower on her first active mission, although under strict orders: she is not to engage without threat of her life or without further instruction from a superior within the agency. She watched first hand, from Stark Tower, as events unfolded. it is the first time in her life she had ever witnessed such destruction, and it only strengthened her resolve to fulfill the duties of an agent of shield. A few months later she spent her 30th birthday as a part of PHIL COULSON's new team, where she remained until temporarily being reassigned to the Iliad helicarrier, which is where she was at the time shield fell.  

Much like the tale Homer scribed within its namesake, the helicarrier’s purposed defeat lay within. the operatives that Hydra planted within all levels of S.H.I.E.L.D. served as a TROJAN HORSE with the sole purpose of bringing down the agency from the inside. they didn’t count on the loyalty and determination of the agents that dwelled beneath. The last thing Kara expected was to look into the eyes of someone she trusted wholeheartedly and realizing he was playing for the other team. the last thing she expected was those eyes to belong to Agent Alex DePaul: the man who taught her everything she knew, that taught her how to become the woman she had become. the man she shared a multitude of memories, regarding extensive training, long nights spent bonding over the life of Tobias Palamas, and the general struggles of life. The last thing she expected was to be the one to take his life.

Following this betrayal and subsequent fall of S.H.I.E.L.D., Kara went into hiding and took refuge in one of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s many safe houses: a mistake she would come to regret for the rest of her life. Soon after arriving at the safe house, she was ambushed by Sunil Bakshi and a team of Hydra agents and kidnapped. Her hell only began there. 

Once brought to Hydra leader DANIEL WHITEHALL, Kara was put through torture in the form of the faustus method, a device used to control minds of the unwilling, in hopes to have a high-level S.H.I.E.L.D. agent on their side. after days, Kara was able to free herself from her shackles – but all was lost as DANIEL WHITEHALL took away her last hope by locking her back up. Before she knew it, she had lost control. She went on to inflict heinous crimes in the name of her enemies. 

One of the many missions they send Kara on first introduced her to the photostatic veil: a piece of nanotechnology that allows the wearer to take the appearance of another: in this case, that other was AGENT MELINDA MAY of S.H.I.E.L.D.. The mission takes a turn, and after Kara ended up in hand to hand combat against the one and only Melinda May, the S.H.I.E.L.D. agent defended herself by using a fractured livewire to prevent Kara from inflicting further damage. The mask malfunctioned and became permanently seared to her face.

Kara's hell continued until San Juan, Puerto Rico in 2015 when DANIEL WHITEHALL was killed by PHIL COULSON, releasing her from his control of her mind: but also leaving her in a state of shock and confusion. Her instincts kicked in and it was decided that the priority at hand was escaping from those that have killed Whitehall. 

While making an escape, Kara discovered former S.H.I.E.L.D. agent GRANT WARD bleeding on the ground having been shot multiple times. He offered her a way out, guidance while she had nothing and nowhere to turn: so despite rumors of his shifted alliance since they had last met, she helped him from the ground and together they escaped the clutches of both S.H.I.E.L.D. and Hydra. After saving his life, GRANT WARD promised to help Kara get her life back — and revenge for what had been done to her. It was through the mission of regaining her true appearance and agency of her mind that the pair fell into a romantic entanglement, despite all odds standing against them: when she would later look back on this time, Kara often considers whether or not she had been in a consenting state of mind during this time.

For a brief moment in time, Kara and Grant built a life together: short, but one that convinced her that the possibility of being happy again — until the arrival of PHIL COULSON and his ultimatum. Either they help him in his mission against Hydra or die. Neither of them sharing allegiance toward the former, they chose to go along with Coulson and are brought to S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ.

While Grant goes out on the mission with their old team, Kara remains and is tested by their resident biologist and former friend, JEMMA SIMMONS. She delivered Kara with a clean bill of health: she had her faculties back. there were no remaining signs of Hydra's control...but as an inhuman attack is imminent and their lack of trust in Kara, they imprisoned her into Vault C: a place Grant has spoken near-horror stories about. Kara remained in Vault C, even despite the fear of vile treatment from those holding her there until matters settled down and eventually she was granted a visitor: LEO FITZ.

He had questions for her, and she could only imagine it was some form of closure he’s looking for. an answer. some sort of reasoning for what Grant did to him and Simmons. Kara wanted to help him, so she came clean with the story she was told: it was the only chance they had of survival, that JOHN GARRETT would have assured that both agents Fitz and Simmons were gifted bullets to the head, had grant not done what he had done. Through this conversation and subsequent ones with Fitz, Kara once again earned the trust of the team she had once been apart of. S.H.I.E.L.D. agreed to release her, and gave her the option of joining their team. 

They called it her redemption. 

From then on, Kara continued her rehabilitation with the help from new & former shield associations. she eventually joins a team (the renegades) assigned to rescue former shield agents & assets who had been displaced during the fall & left behind like she was.

[meta-for]

Meta Meta Everywhere, Let’s Drop Dean in the Drink

I want to talk a little bit about Exodus in 14x12, particularly in relation to Tony Alvarez’s three victims. 

First, let’s summarize what we know about Tony. When we first see him drowning Jane Doe in the bathtub, we know nothing about him. For all we, and our favorite brothers, know, he’s the monster of the week, carrying out senseless acts of violence for ritual sacrifice/personal gain/marinating a home-cooked human for his freak pallet, etc. We later discover that Tony is a malformed prophet, firing at half-potential due to Donatello’s comatose state. He believes he is carrying out the Word of God by kidnapping, torturing, and killing his vics (or at least, most of them, but hey, two-out-of-three-ain’t-bad).

Our first introduction to Tony is the second scene in the episode, in which he tosses vic number one into a bathtub filled with salt water. After dunking her head back under (baptism, anyone?), he slits her wrist, turning the bath water red with her blood. When Sam and Dean break into Tony’s apartment, we find that Tony is recreating the destruction of the Egyptians in the Red Sea (Exodus 14).

Vic number two meets his death for being the eldest of two twins—the first by four minutes, we learn—and is taken as the First Born Son. Whether this ties in to the King’s command to kill off all first-born sons of the Israelites, or the subsequent plague God sends down to slaughter the first-born Egyptian sons is left to interpretation. (Exodus 11)

What is striking about both victims is the wrongness of their deaths, and not just in terms of, say, basic human morality. Taking into consideration the story told in Exodus—in which Moses (notably, the first born son of an Israelite who is later saved by the Queen after his mother sends him in a basket up the Nile to save his life) receives the true Word of God—it should be clear that Alvarez’s version of the Word is incongruous with this part of the scripture. This is not to say that there is no bloodshed in the Old Testament. In my personal, unsolicited opinion, it’s the most metal religious text out there. However, this particular book of the Old Testament leaves the bloodshed in God’s hands—the Israelites themselves, even Moses, never directly intervene or seek revenge (except for that one Egyptian dude Moses buries in sand, but that’s before he receives the Word so, I mean, can’t really blame a guy).

What it boils down to is this: God gives Moses ten rules when he speaks to him on the mountaintop, the Commandments, the first of these being “I am the Lord your God. You shall have no other God before me.” Pretty important stuff—we’ll examine later how this ties into the 3rd vic’s story.

The second Commandment is “Thou shalt not kill.” 

Whatcha doin’ there, Tony?

I recognize that this may be kind of a long shot, given the actual bloody history of the Old Testament. However, this may be our fist indication that something’s off with prophet boy.

Aside from this, though, the vics Alvarez chooses just don’t quite fit the bill.

We don’t know too much about vic number 1. We don’t get an interview with a grieving family member, or a peek into her apartment. We can pretty readily assume, though, that she hasn’t enslaved anyone.

In Exodus, God drowns the Egyptians in the Red Sea for pursuing the Israelites on their diaspora from Egypt. They had previously enslaved the Israelites—apparently for being too numerous, and overpopulating to the point of there being more Israelites than Egyptians in Egypt, leading the King to order the death of all the first born sons of Israel—and were now coming to stop them from fleeing their oppression by either re-capturing or murdering them on the way out. So God tells Moses to go ahead and shake that stick, and He collapses the Red Sea down on them after granting safe passage for the Israelites to cross first.

What has vic number 1 done to merit that same fate for herself? Is she a slave owner? Probably not. Is she trying to prevent someone from leaving her? Leaving an oppressive relationship with her, in some way? No indication of the same anywhere, but even if that was the case, does it warrant a death sentence? There’s not even anything to allude to her being Egyptian in some way, which would be the absolute shoddiest reason for Alvarez to pick her.

The fact is, we don’t know why Alvarez chooses vic number 1 as his first sacrifice. We don’t even get a feel for who she is by seeing his initial kidnapping of her.

What we are asked to understand pretty immediately is that vic number 1 is absolutely a wronged victim here—we do get to see, at length, Alvarez murdering her. This second scene of the show opens with tight shots of her wounds, her sweat-stringy hair, her bound hands. We hear her pleading and whimpering through her gag, and eventually trying to beg. We see the abject fear and desperation in her eyes. The majority of the scene is arguably shot from the victim’s perspective, right up to the point of her drowning where she’s shot from beneath, seemingly floating high above us in the water, and illuminated by a bright yellow, almost Heavenly light.

This coupled with the shots of Tony’s cold eyes, his uncaring, vacant expression, his apparent glorious satisfaction upon the completion of his task—it’s clear that we’re meant to sympathize with, possibly even identify with, the victim here. We don’t yet know who is whispering to Tony at the end of the scene, and we don’t particularly care outside of our boys finding out who it is and ganking their evil asses. The whole thing is black-and-white up to this point; victim. Monster. Presumably evil motive. The works.

Then we learn about vic number 2, and things get a little more complicated. Deciding to take on the case, Sam and Dean don their fed suits and pay a visit to 2’s heartbroken twin brother. We learn, through their conversation with him, that the vic was friends with Alvarez prior to this whole mess, and that Alvarez had an Enochian tattoo meaning “the Word” on his forearm. Sam and Dean struggle to parse out what kind of monster would be fluent in Enochian, what the motive of this apparently otherwise zealously devout man would be. Something’s off. The boys know it, and as they know it, we know it. A standard salt-and-burn, monster-of-the-week, last hoorah for Dean this ain’t.

After a quick, heart-shattering call to Cas, the boys find out that this Tony Alvarez is next in line to be prophet, after Donatello eventually dies. They discover that Donatello is still kicking, and there’s no way that Alvarez should be rockin’ and rollin’ on the prophet express at this point. So what gives?

Turns out, Donatello is sending some mixed messages to Alvarez subconsciously. He’s muttering bits and pieces of bible verses, and Alvarez hears him, taking his incoherent ramblings as the Word of God, and interpreting them to mean he should act out these scenes from Exodus.

But he’s failing. Again, vic number one is no slave-owning murderer, and vic number 2? Can we really count him as a First Born son?

We find out from 2’s twin that he was born earlier, and refers to himself as the big brother, because he was born first—by four minutes. That’s some fast and loose interpretation on Alvarez’s part. Is it because he knows vic 2? Maybe. If he knows his buddy calls himself the big brother, the eldest, and he already knows where to find him, well, maybe that’s just gotta be good enough.

The point I’m trying to make here is that Alvarez is pulling off half-cocked reenactments of Exodus, in direct defiance with the actual Commandments Moses receives as the actual Word of God, and it turns out he’s not even getting the Word from the man himself. What he’s getting is a faulty half-message from a half-functioning prophet who’s stuck in dream land. So, in sum, unclear messages from a presumed higher-power that he’s ultimately misinterpreting and carrying out incorrectly.

Hm. Sounds like someone we know.

Before I finally address that point, I’d like to touch briefly on the third vic, our escapee.

I couldn’t quite catch all of what Alvarez was saying as he was getting set to deep fry our pal extra crispy, but what I did get was something about Abraham, and being purified in flame, or meeting one’s salvation through fire. That struck me as odd, because Exodus? It’s not Abraham’s story. He’s the outlier here, and so, consequently, is the one that got away.

I couldn’t think of a biblical book that particular tie-in was from, as a matter of fact. It’s not that Exodus is flame free—far from it. We’ve got the burning bush where Moses first hears the voice of God (first referred to as an angel speaking for God, and then referred to as God himself…more mixed messages), and the pillar of fire God appears as in the night to light the way of the Israelites. But neither of those instances include someone being lit on fire for their salvation. So I did some digging (read: I Googled it).

What I found was pretty interesting, and I am wide open to counters or suggestions on this. But the best link-up I could find was the story of Abraham in the Genesis Rabba (original cut of Genesis), as a midrash positing possible tales about Abraham’s childhood and early life, which we do not get in the Bible itself. “What’s a midrash?” you may ask. Fear not, fair reader—I didn’t know either. I am but a simple gentile, but based on what I read, a midrash is essentially a rabbinical teaching or interpretation based on biblical text.

This particular midrash tells the story of Abraham working in his father’s idol shop. His father leaves him to man the shop one day while he goes off to do something else (God knows what…HA), and Abraham subsequently mocks all of the customers who come in to worship the assorted idols, challenging their beliefs, and questioning why they would choose to worship false Gods, essentially. Abraham’s dad hears about this, and he’s not too happy. He takes Abraham for a little visit to a guy named Nimrod to educate him on proper worship.

Bare bones of it is, Abraham argues with Nimrod the whole way through, and eventually Nimrod decides to chuck Abraham into the furnace, saying that if Abraham’s God is so great, he’ll come save him. Long story short, He does, and Abraham walks off Scott free because of his absolute faith in God, who, at that point, he’d never seen or heard from. The same can’t be said for his brother, who decided he’d only side with Abraham if he came out of the flames unscathed, but I digress.

So, essentially what we’ve got going with the third vic, from what I understand, is Alvarez’s interpretation of Donatello’s coma-babble about an interpretive tale meant to illustrate a story from the original cut of Genesis that isn’t a part of the modern-day old testament. AND Alvarez is, once again, doing it wrong. It’s safe to assume he means to really burn the third vic alive, not to yank him out of the flames and expect him to be unharmed. So unless vic number three is meant to represent Abraham’s brother, who doesn’t get saved, Alvarez is once again misinterpreting the jumbled Word from a middleman.

It’s important to note that this is the only story that actually gets carried out correctly, despite Alvarez’s attempts to the contrary. The false prophet dumps some gasoline, lights a match, and gets ready to watch our vic go up in flames—only to have Sam and Dean bust in and save vic 3 at the last minute.

What does this mean for the episode at large?

The episode opens with Dean’s anxiety dream about pulling off his stellar “let’s throw me in the ocean” plan. Much like with vic number 1, we see Dean in a state of absolute distress, his eyes squinted against tears, his nails clawed bloody from trying to scratch his way out of the Mal’ak box. He is at the bottom of the ocean, bleeding, alone, and desperate, crying out to someone that isn’t going to save him, not this time. When Dean wakes, he finds himself in bed in another motel room, but his reality is essentially no different. The wallpaper mimics ocean waves in style, blue-green in color. The lamps on the walls cast a bloody red light here and there.There are claw marks in the wall next to his bed where he chipped his nails bloody against his imagined coffin lid.

Cut to drowning vic number one in the Red Sea. The imagery surrounding her establishes that she shouldn’t be there. Should Dean?

Vic number two is, again, an eldest brother by four minutes. Dean’s older by four years. Hm. And, of course, there’s the brother left behind, who says he’s “lost a part of” himself. Who is clean cut, and quiet, and heartbroken. There’s no righteous mourning for Sam’s mirror (shameless plug—I hope to address all the fun mirrors everywhere in this episode in a separate post).

Dean tells Sam and Mary that the only way for him to keep Michael contained and stop him from destroying their world is by locking himself and Michael up in that box forever at the bottom of the ocean. He says Billie’s books say it’s the only way. 

And what do we have here? Instructions from a higher power that we never actually got to see. We never read the book Billie handed Dean, the one with the only apparent way out of this situation. We’re relying on Dean’s interpretation of what Billie’s book says or does not say. What her Word means. Just like Alvarez is relying on the faulty Word he’s getting from Donatello. Cas reveals that Donatello is essentially muttering nonsense in his unconscious state. Alvarez carrying out a word he doesn’t really understand, but is convinced is the righteous, correct thing to do. But he didn’t really get clear directions. Maybe Dean didn’t either.

Maybe Dean, like Alvarez, is damn wrong.

Again, I’m not going to go into mirrors in this post, but I will drop this little tidbit. Alvarez, dressed in a way that’s pretty reminiscent of Dean, at least in the army green jacket, carries out his supposed orders without so much as a flinch. Until he learns the truth, discovers that he has been doing the wrong thing this whole time.

Then he shoots himself with Dean’s gun. Dean’s white hilt, cowboy-flower-engraved, can’t-watch-the-show-and-not-associate-this-gun-with-Dean, gun. Hm.

A final word (ha) on the third victim. What saves Abraham is, ultimately, his faith. Abraham believes that God will save him from the fire, and therefore, he is saved.

What will save Dean, it seems, is Sam’s belief in him, and ultimately his belief in Team Free Will. In Sam, in Cas, and in himself. He affirms for Sam, “I do believe in us,” and decides to go on home and hash things out before proceeding with what Cas refers to has his “suicidal plan” to drop himself in the drink. Suicidal like Alvarez, who, based on Sam and Dean’s reaction when they realize what he is about to do, doesn’t really deserve the death he gets either, despite it all.

Earlier in the episode, we have the bro-ment in the car, in which Sam, for the first time I can personally recall in the series, directly states that Dean “practically raised” him in lieu of their absent father. He recognizes Dean as his father-figure, at least in part. Sam then goes on to talk about his belief in “us” as a unit. Dean agrees that he believes in “us…in all of us,” factoring Cas in as the third in their Trinity. Dean of course now recognized as the father, Sam the son...and Cas?

Cas the celestial wave of intent, a brilliant, angelic, burn-the-bad-guys-from-the-inside-out entity inhabiting a humanly body? Who is Cas if not the Holy Spirit in our little Trinity?

So Abraham’s belief in God saves him from the fire. And Dean’s belief in his own Trinity, maybe, is what will save him from misinterpreting how his story ends.

[crimsonupdates]

✗ THE RISING TIDES

   ❝ There’s a storm coming, and we’d all best be ready when it does.❞

July 13th

In an attempt to further their image and promote their side of the war, Aidan Avery makes a public donation on the behalf of Tom Riddle in double to St. Mungo’s to help rebuilding immediately. 

July 18th - July 24th

Edgar Bones is the first to discover the disappearance of Cassandra Burke. When Albus Dumbledore and the leaders of the Order fail to acknowledge the possibility of her kidnapping, Edgar forms search parties led by himself, Gilderoy Lockhart, and Hestia Jones. They discover a lead, but it doesn’t lead them to Cassandra. Instead, they find Amelia Bones alive, a year after her disappearance. 

After being taken to the restored hospital and refusing treatment, Amelia seeks out a meeting with Aversio’s leader and their second hands Selina Sapworthy and Florence Wilson, where it is discovered that she has changed. Months of torture and captivity have made her hungry for revenge by any means necessary, and the leader of Aversio begins making plans to use her drive to their advantage.

July 27th

Having been taken to the castle, and seeing the shaky alliance that has been built, Amelia Bones engages in an argument with Albus Dumbledore, Marlene McKinnon, and other members of the Order for their trust of Cassandra Burke and their strategies. She rallies for violence against Death Eaters and those employed by the Ministry for Magic. After calling on her brother for support, Edgar Bones is forced to decide who he wants to fight for. 

July 31st - August 5th

The new opinions of Amelia Bones begin making rounds, and the leader of Aversio urges Florence Wilson and Selina Sapworthy to use her anger to their advantage. With the help of Pandora Lightwood, new protests are orchestrated that only grow more violent as they go forward. In the process, a boycott of the Aurors begins. Aversio and Order members alike grow distrustful of anyone working in the Ministry, and violent outbursts become more public spectacle in the passing day. 

August 7th

Hestia Jones releases an article for the Daily Prophet chronicling the recovery of Amelia Bones, vocalizing the involvement of the Death Eaters in her disappearance and subsequent torture. The article successfully stirs up more speculation and distrust of the Ministry, and the journalist is consequently laid off. 

August 9th

Gilderoy Lockhart meets with Rita Skeeter behind a locked door. He warns of a possible Aversio attack against the Daily Prophet, and the name of Andromeda Tonks as a key member of Aversio is brought to light. She is later brought in by Aurors for questioning, and detained for several days in the hopes of gaining information. Augustus Rookwood is assigned the task of standing watch over the Daily Prophet Headquarters, and later enlists the assistance of Cygnus Black and Antonin Dolohov. 

The night is as dark as the intentions of the Aversio members who take to the streets of Diagon Alley. Some members continue to hide their identities behind a mask while others wear a newfound pride of their allegiance, but all are determined to make a statement against the Death Eater propaganda. The Daily Prophet Headquarters burns bright until sunrise, with Augustus Rookwood and Cygnus Black barely making it out alive. 

August 11th

Hestia Jones is considered the prime suspect in the arson due to her grievances against the Daily Prophet, and is detained by Aurors for questioning. Later that day, as specialized teams return to the Prophet to search the rubble, the disturbing discovery is made of Antonin Dolohov whose dismembered body has been burnt and is only identifiable from his head, atop a spike in the center of the wreckage. 

Without a proper source of information, rumors grow and fear spreads through the city like a contagion.

August 12th - August 15th

From the ashes of losing London’s only news source, Xenophilius Lovegood begins an Aversio propaganda known at The Quibbler with the private funds anonymously given by Marlene McKinnon. Edgar Bones is quick to offer his help in writing, with the intention of staying close to Aversio, hoping to keep a close eye on his sister.

Hestia Jones is released from Auror custody. As she is leaving, she is cornered by Cassius Mulciber, who has heard rumors of a possible Aversio propaganda and threatens Hestia should she choose to take part in it. 

In the wake of the violence subjected by Aversio, a rift begins to form in their alliance with the Order, and the flaws of the two groups’ fragile peace agreement are brought to light. The shared castle is struck with great speculation and rising tensions that threaten to reach a boiling point at any passing moment.

August 16th

A funeral is held for Antonin Dolohov.

Andromeda Tonks is released and allowed to return home, only to be stopped by Rodolphus Lestrange on her way out of the ministry. Harsh words as exchanged between the in-laws as the pair is no stranger to calling each other what they are. Words nearly come to blows before passerby stop the Minister for a quick discussion, giving Andromeda the opportunity to get away.

August 18th - 20th

Against the wishes of Amelia Bones, the search for Cassandra Burke continues, with the public soon getting involved in the mysterious disappearance. In an attempt to deter these attempts to find her, Rodolphus Lestrange releases the stored memories of her past crimes to the public, successfully labeling her as a criminal best left lost. 

August 21st - August 23rd

Hours before a highly publicized Falmouth Falcons match, Emma Vanity’s home is found in a state of disarray, with her nowhere to be found. There is no trace of her, with nothing but a scarlet A for Aversio etched across the floor. She is declared missing within hours. Andromeda Tonks is a prime suspect after her scuttle with the Minister of Magic, and flees her home to avoid being detained by the Aurors again. 

In the abandoned moors surrounding the Order's safe castle, Bellatrix Lestrange lurks with her father Cygnus Black. Thirsty for vengeance and having decided to take actions into their own hands, they stay in wait until Edgar Bones makes himself known. The pair jumps at the opportunity, and just as quick as one of their own was taken, Edgar is declared missing.

August 24th - 31st

After weeks of torture and memory raiding, Cassandra Burke is released, seemingly unharmed, by her capture Walden Macnair under the Imperius Charm in a Death Eater attempt to gain information about the Order. She becomes the personal assistant of Rodolphus Lestrange, convincing Albus Dumbledore that the position will be used to spy on the Death Eaters. Still, many Order and Aversio members remain suspicious of her intentions and mental stability, as they should. 

Birthdays

July 13th: Andromeda Tonks

July 21st: Marlene McKinnon, Marcus McKinnon

August 21st: Pandora Lockwood

August 22nd: Greta Catchlove

The role of Amelia Bones is now open and available for applications. The role of Antonin Dolohov is now permanently closed.

*Please message the main if you have any questions about this plot drop and we’ll attempt to clear everything up for you. Your character can be a lot more involved than they are in this – as it is only a rough outline and we tried to leave a lot of things open to interpretation, or for characters to step in. Please don’t write past August 31st in game time.

[imustgo-on-icantgo-on-illgo-on]

FITZ: I’m just like Ward

I have been thinking a lot of things about Leopold Fitz since the last season, so when last night’s episode aired I realized that the post I was already working on would not be enough. For the purpose of clarity I have decided to split up this meta into two parts. The first part is about Grant Ward. The second is about our beloved Fitz. Last night hurt, but so does life. Now let’s get into it.

Grant Ward’s history of abuse is well documented by the fanbase, and as someone who faced very dissimilar, though not without great overlap, abuse, it was always extremely fascinating to follow Ward as a character. For those less familiar, abuse is about power and control, and because of how people acclimate themselves to the world and their relationships within it through socializing, this can lead people to assume that power and control is what life is about in general, thus prioritizing feelings of strength and squashing weakness. Ward felt weak because his parents tortured him. He felt weak because his brother did the same, and even felt weak being forced into bullying his younger brother, Thomas (The Well). Finally, in a desperate attempt to feel a sense of strength and satisfaction, Ward tried to burn down his home with his parents and older brother inside at the age of 17 (Ragtag, and though I’ve seen a lot of people say it was when he was 15 because the flashbacks say “15 years ago” Thomas says he was 17 in season 3’s Closure, and it makes more sense that his older brother, Christian, tried to have him tried as an adult at 17). Undoubtedly he justified this attempted murder (we all know that he knew who was inside) as a way to free him and his little brother from his more abusive family member’s clutches. However, I can still accept this as a product of environment, and not a grown adult making rational decisions. This didn’t make Ward a villain.

John Garrett was the answer to Grant Ward’s prayers. Of course he went on to constantly gaslight and manipulate him, but Ward didn’t want to let go of his past and seek love, he wanted strength, and here comes a man saying he works for a secret organization, and that Ward impresses him. Thomas, I believe, is the side of the coin we never saw, who did grow up to seek love instead of more hate, but Ward was already being used as a weapon from a young age, so he understood plays of power and control, just not his complicity in the actions he committed. Garrett then kidnaps him, calling it a favor, which is hard to argue with considering how long Grant could have spent in a very adult prison for his actions, but it also unfortunately starts the blame game that abuse is built on. Garrett kidnapped him and demanded thanks. Garrett dragged him to the middle of nowhere, then left him there and called it Grant’s own failure to have not prepared for anything (because why would a kid who follows a man who claims to work for the government NOT be prepared to be abandoned in the middle of nowhere, I type sarcastically). Garrett specifically left a dog with him, not just to help, but with which Ward could bond, and then forced him to kill it while implying that any reservations would be a sign of weakness. Even Ward’s accomplishment of surviving, Garrett can credit himself because he said he thought Ward could do it. That’s what abusers do, they make what they do bad your fault, and what you do well their credit (Like Kylo Ren saying “You’re nothing, but not to me”). Ward believes he owes Garrett everything, including things he did for himself, but also blames himself for what he still does wrong. And after two fat paragraphs, we’ve reached the very beginning of the show, and see in action how Ward’s truest desire was always strength, and how much it clearly burned him that he didn’t know how to love.

When Ward got brought onto the bus, he was on mission for Garrett, but this became a perfect vehicle for the fantasy Ward must have held onto since he was a kid. Ward got to be the hero. Sure he was a milktoast kind of one, but that was just part of his cover. He got to stop Russian superweapons, and jump out of planes to save people (The Hub, FZZT). He got to mentor (The Asset) a woman who looked at him and saw a goodhearted, if defensive and closed off, guy. In short, he got to be a part of a family. Yes, in “Yes Men” he is raped, and they do nothing about that, but nobody knew about that and Ward never told anyone. It’s that same toxic masculinity at work where he thinks he has to ignore pain, assuming that that’s what strength is, so he wasn’t changing yet, but he was (under false pretense) loved. Then HYDRA came out of the shadows, and with his reveal at the end of Turn, Turn, Turn, we began to see how great that desire for strength was, and how much it conflicted with this newfound feeling of being loved. He killed Hand for Garrett, alongside dozens of SHIELD agents, but he killed Koenig for Skye (The Only Light in the Darkness). He killed Koenig, not just to keep his cover, but so she would still see him as a hero. As worthy of love, because he knew all the things he did were wrong. This was his first chance to really confess and own up to who he is, but he killed Koenig instead to continue the fantasy. In fact, the moment he is fighting HYDRA agents in Turn, Turn, Turn even becomes sort of twisted after the reveal, especially the smile he has right before he kills them all. They are a means to him feeling like a hero. Koenig was a cover-up to continue that feeling. And when he discovers she knows who he is, in that diner, he wants to explain himself, and kills two police officers (at least) in order to do that. He doesn’t care about people’s lives, even Skye’s, who he loves. And I believe he does, he just didn’t know how to. I learned a lot of abusive behavior from my own father, and though some of it was directed at me, more was directed at my mom, and it made me not realize what I had picked up until recently. When the only Ex of mine I ever loved would fight with me (not to say they were the cause, just when we would fight) she would often ask for space, and too many times if I had done something wrong I would come visit her and apologize over and over and over, but I wouldn’t leave when she asked because I wanted to show I was sorry. Makes sense right? Except I didn’t care about what she wanted, I just wanted to apologize and “work it out” or really just make myself feel better. I loved her, still do, but I needed to learn that that meant putting her needs ahead of my own desires because duh. Ward is the same, except also, you know, a serial killer. But what finally destroyed his Hero fantasy wasn’t Skye. It was Fitzsimmons. When they manage to disable Garrett and free themselves, they hide in the escape pod, and Ward can’t get in. They did that. All the while, Fitz begged for Ward to realize that they care about him, and he even cares about them. But in that moment, this fully grown man in his 30s, when confronted with a choice between love and strength, opted for the latter. Caring is weakness, to him. Garrett taught him that years ago, and even after months and months with the team, and sharing in their love, love that could have continued, that belief didn’t change. Ward’s hero fantasy was gone, so he had to search for a new feeling of strength, despite the fact that it was actually weakness that lead him to try and kill Fitzsimmons. He tried to search for that strength in Garrett, but the man he knew was already gone before his death, and when asked what he wanted he chose, again, something selfish. Skye. He approaches her with a gun, threatens to rape her, and thus placed her at the center of his desires for self, a hole that had been created by Garrett’s change, and subsequent death. As Coulson asks “Who are you without [Garrett]”.

When the team locked Ward up, Coulson continued to check in on him, giving him another chance to own up to who he is and what he has done. Everyday for three weeks, and Ward refused to say anything unless he could talk to the woman he once kidnapped, locked up, and threatened to rape. That same abusive cycle continuing. Just as he carried out missions for Garrett, he tried to make promises to Skye to prove he was deserving of her, but it was still all about him and not what she wanted (Shadows). He told Fitz that he gave them a fighting to chance to survive, because he didn’t shoot them, but they hid themselves in the escape pod, so there’s no other way Ward could have killed them but dropping them into the ocean (Making Friends and Influencing People). When he escapes we spend an episode being gaslit ourselves as the audience, questioning our own memory of the well when we finally meet the adult Christian Ward, who is a senator no less (A Fractured House). For many people the gaslighting worked so well that they thought that Ward tortured an answer out of Christian when threatening to throw him down the well (The Things We Bury) ignoring that the existence of the well itself proves that Christian is a liar and a gaslighter. But we don’t see Thomas, because he wanted real closure. The kind you can only find within yourself. But Ward wants to lord the power and control he now has over his family now that he’s free, and a highly trained killer. He wants to keep his promise to Skye, introducing her to her father, and then we WATCH HIM FORGIVE HIMSELF (What They Become). He just starts acting like he and Skye are together on a mission or something, despite kidnapping her for a SECOND TIME. When Kara saves him from the gunshots Skye pumped into him, a new relationship is formed, and we see as he continues the cycle of abuse. She asks over and over again in the back half of the season to just run away and leave SHIELD behind, but Ward is obsessed with the idea that it will bring her closure, because really he just wants to torture SHIELD. To make them suffer. As Daisy says in s3, Ward kills because he feels too much (Closure). He tried to be a supporting figure for Kara, but he ends up being a controlling one. He even offers us the line we want to hear in saying that there’s “not enough good” inside him to help her. But it’s all lies, which shouldn’t be a surprise at this point in the series, as he has yet to own up to his actions in a way that isn’t saying the words “I take responsibility for my actions” My father would say over and over again, after he hit me, that he was sorry, but he doesn’t regret it and he’d do it again. That’s what Ward was doing, saying he takes responsibility, but normal serial killers stay in prison their whole lives, and he wanted to be free after a couple months of helping SHIELD. It was this path of blaming and petty emotional power plays that lead to Ward killing Kara with his own hands, proving that if they just left it all behind they could have been happy. Ward, in his constant fleeing from his own actions, always causes what happens to him next. And with Kara gone the only way for him to exert his power over the people in SHELD is to commit to his new role as the head of HYDRA, and give him the feeling of strength he always yearns for.

Brett Dalton does a brilliant job of playing Ward in S3 with the same hungry, smug look in his eyes that he had that moment before killing all the HYDRA assailants in Turn, Turn, Turn. This is his new hero fantasy. The villain. And boy does he do it in style. He makes himself the head of HYDRA and specifically uses his power to control the organization through force. The thing he knows best. Only the literally physically strong survive in his new regime, and when it comes time to take down SHIELD, to take down Coulson, he believes he’ll be fulfilled. Ward swaggers through S3 taking down dozens of men singlehanded (Purpose in the Machine, Many Heads, One Tale) threatening, attacking, and killing people’s loved ones (Devils You Know, Closure, both with Ros, and with Simmons. The Simmons one is especially indicative of Ward because he first tries to take credit for their relationship, back to that blame game of abuse, and then tortures her personally after saying he would never hurt her, because his word only as strong as his patience, which only ever holds for Daisy). The perfect symbol of this is the scene he has with the flight attendant on the airplane he terrorizes, where he flirts with her and gets to feel wanted and sexy, before whispering in her ear the terror of what he is about to do, winking before finally exiting the plane. Ward loved the feeling of strength, but we as an audience know that killing Coulson never would have satisfied him. It isn’t until Malick comes along and tells Ward the full history of HYDRA, praises him for how strong he is, and asks him to lead that things click into place for Ward. He finally gets to fulfill his fantasy. He may not be the hero, but the HYDRA mission makes him important. Ward has been turned into possibly the ultimate human killing machine, and the idea that through adversity, through failure and turmoil and all the bloodshed, he had become the one person who could finally fulfill the mission that HYDRA was founded upon, and he didn’t even know it. He chose the organization for “petty, personal reasons”, but now this path has lead him to do something millenia in the making. I believe Ward believes it when he says that he’s “part of a grand plan” on Maveth, and it’s hard to argue with his pov (check out my meta on destiny in AoS for why I think it’s possible). Many people have argued that Alveus essentially rapes Ward by taking his body, as a corpse cannot consent, but he consents as much as person can while he’s still alive. Ward goes to Maveth to finish the mission, and believes he is the secret super soldier that HYDRA needs to do it, and bring their god back to earth. And he does it. I’m not saying it makes it right, I’m just pointing out that Ward knew, to a degree, what he was getting into. Ward chases the feeling of power all his life, and the only thing it lead him to is a death, and a disregard for his autonomy just as he disregarded other people autonomy. As Daisy said back in season one, Ward is “just weak”(Beginning of the End). He desires strength because he feels weak, and that desire made him self-centered, even in his love for others. That happens to people in life. I agree that it’s tragic, but I don’t agree that it absolves him of anything. Nikolas Cruz had a history of not fitting in, and had a problematic homelife, but does that excuse him killing those children in Parkland? He’s 19, and Ward was in his 30s when we met him. Men in this country, and all over the world, get taught that strength matters more than anything, and at their core it just makes them weak and in search of power. Power over others. Control of things that are beyond their control. And this is how Ward became who he became, and how he continued to change. Hell, it’s why, when we meet him in the framework, he’s already been “saved” by Victoria Hand. Because in real life, he was already lost when we first met him, chasing strength above all. To save him, the team would have had to have known him years ago. It just shows how disturbing abuse can be, and how hard it can be to demonstrate its effect on tv, but the show does a good job of showing what a person who holds onto that abuse looks like (Grant), and what a person who moves on looks like (Thomas)

Now what does all of that have to do with Fitz? Check out my next meta to find out. Sorry this turned out so long, I just love this show (Been watching since it started, watching in my dorm when it began my freshman year) and this fanbase, and these writers. Part two should be out in a day, and should be much more succinct. I promise. Peace, and love, and prosciutto and buffalo mozzarella with a hint of homemade pesto aioli :)