#the second half of season 2 was excellent

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Another thing I love about season 2: getting to see Taika act without the beard!!

I knew that the beard prosthetic prevented a lot of facial movement, and I also knew that this meant we'd get to see some excellent Ed action that utilizes all parts of his face. We all know Taika is amazing at having eyes, I'm not disparaging his acting in s1 in any way, but I was excited to see the lower half of his face join the party. And man. I was ready but I was not prepared!

First of all, he is so pretty. Every second I look at this I can feel myself getting gayer.

But we also get to see his blank despair at the start of the season...

Which makes these sweet little smiles seem all the sweeter!

And a few more subtle moments that might not have worked as well with the full beard covering up so much of his face - it was sometimes easy to miss Ed's little glances and small expressions in s1 with the beard. His acting in s2 feels a lot subtler as a result.

Not to mention the amazing underwater acting!

And even some really cute awkward moments. He literally says 😬

I think my personal favorite Ed full-face acting choice is how he kinda purses his lips and juts his chin out when he gets mad. Like sorry Stede but if my boyfriend looked at me like this I would simply pass away on the spot.

It's so good! I love Ed's beard but being able to act without it leant Taika's performance a lot of vulnerability that I absolutely adore.

[maimingaffairs]

Grieving for the Living (Aleksander Morozova x fem! reader) Part 2

The entirety of a capricious and treacherous marriage between the Darkling and the Lantsov princess.

read part one here!

-

hi all i love u, also merry early christmas to those who celebrate and happy weekend to those who don't! i've had people ask to be tagged in future parts so feel free to comment if u wanna be added to the silly little taglist for this silly little story.

word count: 11.6

warnings: man idk, everything is pretty canon. examples of a not very healthy relationship.

taglist: @il0vebeingdelulu @mellowarcadefun

-

You sat on a stool in the stables while your husband was occupied, putting a saddle on his horse. You had your legs crossed and you bounced your knee to pass the time, sighing occasionally. You wore tall, knee high riding boots and a pair of tight black pants. You had a peacoat over your white blouse and a cloak on over your shoulders, at the request of your husband. It had recently become much colder in temperature as the seasons shifted from autumn to winter, and your husband was constantly fussing about you getting sick. 

“You know, I grew up riding horses. I can ride my own. I have my own.” You remarked, glancing up at your husband as he secured half of the saddle onto his horse’s back. 

He eyed you from where he stood and he shook his head, “I believe you, but it’s cold and I’d prefer having you close enough to share body heat.” He explained, going back to tightening straps. 

“In what world will I be cold, dear? You’ve got me in a hundred layers.” You stated, keeping your eyes on him. 

Almost an entire month had passed since you had tried to walk out on him, and in that month, he had done an entire turn around. Days where you expected him to be off with Alina or off tending to things pertaining to his army, he had been spending with you. Conversations that you’d grown accustomed to being cold were now warm and inviting, and mealtime wasn’t stiff and just for the sake of appearances anymore. 

As to be expected, though, you two were starting at the bottom. Friends before lovers, you reminded yourself when you found yourself daydreaming about the one time he had kissed you.

Your husband looked down upon you and snickered once before he tightened the last strap on the horse’s saddle, “Well, at least you’ll be warm.” He said with a smile, shaking his head just once. 

You simply rolled your eyes and stood up off of the stool, “I’m serious, I’m an excellent rider.” You pressed, walking to his side. 

“While I don’t doubt you for a second, can you please just humor me and ride on my horse with me?” He asked, looking down at you with a small, amused smile. 

You rolled your eyes again but couldn’t help but smile back at him. You grabbed onto the saddle and he hoisted you up onto the horse before he gracefully climbed on behind you, grabbing the reins. He guided the horse forward and out into the path out behind the palaces. You’d never admit it, but you were glad for the extra layer he insisted you wear, because the cold bit your cheeks and made you grab the sides of your cloak and pull them around your body like a blanket. You leaned back a bit against your husband’s solid chest and you let out a little sigh, watching the trees pass the two of you by. 

“I want to discuss something with you.” Your husband said matter of factly. 

He let go of the reins with one hand and wrapped his arm delicately around your waist, pulling you back just slightly. 

“Alright, go on, then.” You coaxed, feeling tiny butterflies in your stomach when he wrapped his arm around your waist. 

“The Winter Fete is in a few weeks,” he began, sounding almost nervous to continue, “your parents have requested that the Sun Summoner and I give a… demonstration, of sorts. A performance of her abilities.” He finished, arm tightening around your waist just slightly. 

You had almost forgotten Alina had been there over the past month. It was seldom that your husband saw her anymore, pushing her training off onto other Grisha or the strange old woman, Baghra, whom you had only met once, the night after your wedding. 

“What’s that got to do with me?” You asked, confusedly, reaching out with one hand to touch some low hanging branches as you passed them. 

“I’m just going to have to spend a bit of time getting her ready.” He stated, and you pulled your arm back into your cloak, listening to him. 

“Can I accompany you?” You asked, turning your head to look up at him. His eyes shifted down towards you and he gave you a soft smile. 

“If that so pleases you, then I suppose it won’t be an issue.”

You smiled at him and then turned back around, “I’d like that.” You hummed, reaching down to gently place your hand on top of his as he held your waist with one arm.

His hand was cold as always and you moved your other hand over so that you could clasp his hand in both of yours to warm it up. 

“Your hands are always so cold.” You remarked, giving his hand a gentle squeeze, “Cold hands, warm heart?” You asked, giggling. 

He let out a little chuckle behind you and he leaned down so that his lips brushed the shell of your ear, “Perhaps cold heart, even colder hands.” 

“You don’t have a cold heart.” You quipped, bringing his hand up to your neck, warming it against your skin. 

“Would you say I have an overly warm one?” He asked, keeping his lips near your ear. 

“I think you’re just a little bit choosy about who gets to see your warmth.” You countered and then shrugged once, leaning your head back against his chest. 

The sun was starting to set, leaving the sky a brilliant orange and pink and you stared off at the bright colors, keeping his hand against your warm neck. You stayed silent for a while as he stopped the horse near a cliffside and you both looked over it. 

“Do you truly believe Alina is going to rid us of The Fold?” You asked softly, imagining a world where you could travel as you pleased with no imminent danger. You’d always wanted to travel past Ravka. Maybe to Ketterdam, or perhaps even beyond all that, and looking over this cliffside gave you a rather strong sense of wanderlust. The colors of the sky made the pine trees below look dull and lifeless and you couldn’t tear your eyes away from the sunset. 

Your husband seemingly hesitated before he answered, taking his time to formulate a response carefully. 

“I believe it’s achievable. She is a marvel.” He finally said, wrapping his other arm around you so that you were now encircled in his embrace. 

You paused. Your next question hung on your lips and you almost didn’t ask it, but before you could think better of it, it had already come out of your mouth. 

“Do you have feelings for Alina?”

The Darkling pulled you closer so that your back was flush against his chest and you could feel the metal embellishments on his kefta through your cloak. 

“I wouldn’t say so.” He remarked plainly, allowing you to lay your head back against the front of his shoulder. 

You let out a slow breath, and noted that it had now become cold enough that you could see your breath materialize in front of you. You felt an odd sense of relief. 

“What about anyone else?” You absentmindedly asked, tracing your finger along the sleeve of his kefta. You suddenly felt very intrusive and frowned, patting his arm once, “You don’t have to answer that, I’m being nosy.” 

He hummed and you felt his cheek against the top of your head. You kept your eyes on the sky and felt your eyelids grow heavy. The two of you had taken to going on horse rides later in the evening so that you could see the sunset. You’d mentioned loving the sunset to him once not too long ago, and he’d taken it upon himself to bring you here to a cliff in the forest behind the palaces. 

You dragged your pointer finger over the edge of his sleeve and down onto his exposed wrist. You ran your finger along the back of his hand and up onto the cold metal of the ring on his smallest finger. He turned his hand over so that his palm was facing yours and he slid his fingers in between yours. He held your hand delicately in his own as if it may break if he added any sort of pressure. You tore your eyes away from the sky to look at your joined hands and you turned your head and looked up at him. It took him a moment to move his gaze down to yours, but when he did, you felt breathless. The fading sun reflected in his dark eyes and you could swear that just this once, they had a golden hue. You tightened your fingers around his and leaned closer to him, twisting around to rest your chin against the center of his chest while you kept your eyes upon him. 

He brought a hand up and smoothed back your hair, a small smile forming on his lips. He leaned down and for a split second, you grew excited, anticipating a kiss. He did kiss you, just not where you had expected it. Instead, he placed a very gentle kiss upon your forehead. Your eyes fluttered shut and his lips lingered upon your skin. Your forehead felt warm where his lips touched it and you gave his hand another squeeze. When he finally did pull away, the air felt much colder. He brought the hand that was touching your hair up to your face and he felt your cheeks with the backs of his fingers. 

“I think we should head back. You’re getting rather cold, it seems.” He hummed. 

You didn’t move, though. You stayed with your chin against his chest and your eyes up on his face. He seemed amused by you now, a small laugh escaping his lips. 

“Y/n, I’ll not have you getting sick.” You could tell he was trying to be stern, but the smile on his face made it so hard to take him seriously. 

“You’d better warm me up then, quickly, General!” You teased, moving your head down and resting your cheek against his chest instead of your chin. Your back was twisted at an odd angle and you were admittedly very uncomfortable, but you didn’t move.

“I can warm you up better when we’re in a warm environment, now come on.” He stated and gently grabbed your arms. He turned you forward once again and he let go of your hand. He wrapped his arm around your waist once more and grabbed the horse’s reins with the other hand. He started the horse off back towards the palace and you leaned back completely against his chest once again, placing your hand back on top of his as he held you around your waist. 

The ride back to the Little Palace was silent, but not uncomfortably so. Your husband brought the two of you back to the stables and he easily jumped off the horse and then held his arms out for you. You slid off of the horse and into his arms and he gently set you on the ground. Once you were standing firmly on the ground, you wrapped both of your arms around one of his and leaned your cheek against the side of his arm. He looked down at you with that same amused smile and he led both of you inside. Once you were inside, you felt instant relief from the cold. You hadn’t even noticed how cold you really were until you’d gotten back inside. 

You and your husband made your way through the halls toward your bedroom and were nearly there when you heard someone clear their throat behind you two. Both of you turned around at the same time to see the old woman, Baghra, standing a couple yards behind you. She seemed irate, and took a couple steps towards the two of you. Your husband swept you behind himself in what you could only imagine was a protective manner. 

“I’ve been trying to speak to you for days, boy.” She said, her tone steady and cold. If she was angry, her tone wouldn’t have indicated it. In fact, it wouldn’t have indicated anything at all. Her voice was devoid of emotion, something your husband was able to do often. 

“And I’ve been avoiding you for days. I have important things to tend to, Baghra.” He answered. She came closer. 

Her eyes flickered to you and back to him. She did this a few times before she shook her head, her grey hair shaking with each movement, “Seems you’re not busy now. Have your wife run along so that we may speak.” 

You raised an eyebrow and took a step forward, intent on reminding this woman who she was speaking to. Your husband put his arm out to keep you back and he turned his head and looked down at you, shaking his head sternly. 

“Go get yourself ready for bed. I’ll be along shortly. I just need to speak to Baghra for a moment.”

You looked up at him questioningly but didn’t protest. You could read the room, and you knew this likely wasn’t a time to argue. You gave a small nod to your husband and he gave you a tense smile in return, leaning down to kiss the top of your head. 

“Good girl, run along. Start a fire if you get too cold.” His voice was warm when he spoke to you this time, and it made you smile. 

You turned away from him and you walked briskly toward your room. When you looked back over your shoulder, though, Baghra and your husband were both staring back at you, making your stomach twist uneasily.

-

Your eyes had just barely fluttered shut when the door to your bedroom opened, closing loudly almost instantly after. Your eyes flew open and you sat up on your elbows to see your husband standing near the doorway. You didn’t need to hear his voice or see his face in the light to know that he was angry. You sat up fully and watched him carefully. He stood there for a moment longer before he took off his kefta and hung it over a chair. He looked at you where you sat, and you could tell even in the dim light that he was looking at you, because his eyes shone in the candlelight. You watched him silently as he bustled around the room to rid himself of his dirty clothes and changed into his nightclothes. Once he had finished, he stood motionlessly with his back to you, hands clasped behind his back. You quietly climbed out of bed and you walked towards your husband. Your feet pattered quietly against the floors and once you reached him, you wrapped both of your arms around him from behind. 

He felt tense in your arms and you laid your cheek against his back. You didn’t say anything- you didn’t even know what could have been said. After a few minutes, he laid his hands on your wrists and brushed his thumbs across the backs of your hands. 

“Did you know that Baghra is my mother?” He asked after a long while of silence. 

“I did not.” You answered, but it made sense. They had similar mannerisms, similar ways of presenting themselves. 

Your husband turned around in your arms and looked down at you, resting his hands on your waist. 

“You don’t need to go mentioning that to anyone else.” He stated. 

A look of surprise flashed across your face and you blinked a few times. He had just confided in you. You felt oddly flattered and you almost felt like doing a happy little dance around the room, but you stayed planted in your spot. 

“I won’t.” You promised, leaning closer to him. 

He gave an approving hum and he reached up to tuck a lock of your hair back behind your ear. 

“You should be in bed right now.” He laid his palm against the side of your face and held it like it was the most delicate thing he’d ever handled in his life. 

“Well, I was. In bed, I mean. But then you came in. You’re upset. I just wanted to help.” You explained, leaning into his hand. 

The cold metal of his ring bit into your warm cheek and it nearly made you shiver. You closed your eyes and nuzzled your face into his palm, feeling soothed by the way he swiped his thumb back and forth over your cheekbone every so often. 

“Such a sweet girl,” he cooed, “I am just fine. Don’t worry about me.” he murmured and leaned down. He swept an arm behind your legs and he lifted you up into his arms. You grabbed his shoulders to steady yourself and he hauled you back over to the bed.

He laid you down on your side and you grabbed his arm, tugging on it, “You’re gonna lay down too, right?” You asked softly, looking up at him expectantly. 

“Yes, y/n.” 

You felt relieved when he answered and you rolled onto your side to face him as he walked around the bed and laid down next to you. You smiled over at him as he rolled onto his own side and you wiggled closer to him so that there was only less than a foot of space between your faces. His dark eyes scanned over your face before he reached across the distance between you and tugged you against his chest. A relieved sigh passed your lips and you closed your eyes, resting your head comfortably against the center of his chest. 

“What did your mother say to you that upset you so much?” You asked in a soft tone. As soon as you asked, though, you felt intrusive. He likely would’ve started ranting about it if it was something he wished to discuss. 

But instead of answering you with silence or some other evasive statement, he sighed and began to speak. 

“She believes me to be… threateningly power hungry.”

“And are you?” You asked, tracing your fingers along the smooth silk of his shirt. 

“I think there’s a fine line that runs between knowing what you want and doing everything you can to take it and being power hungry.” He answered, sliding a hand up into your hair. 

“I see. And what is it that you want?” You asked, placing a kiss over his clothed chest. 

“Power.” 

His answer came as a surprise to you. You didn’t expect him to be so forthcoming with anything, especially this. His fingers ran idly through your hair and you wiggled up a bit to tuck your face into the crook of his neck. You felt tired, much more tired than you had been before, but you didn’t want to stop talking to your husband. You didn’t want his openness to end and never make a reappearance. 

“What kind of power?” You asked, trying to ignore the sleepiness that threatened to drag you away. 

“All of it. I want it all.” He replied, voice calm, as if he were having the most casual of conversations with you. 

“I see.” You hummed. 

Neither of you spoke for a while after this. As much as you tried to fight it, you began to drift off to sleep, but it didn’t last long, because your husband spoke again. 

“I married you for power, you know.” 

Your eyes shot open and you sat up on your elbow, gaping down at the man next to you. You didn’t know how to react. His words had sent needle-sharp pains through your chest. Your mouth opened slightly as if you were ready to speak, but you closed it quickly. He held up his finger as if to ask you to hear him out and you blinked incredulously back at him. You didn’t want to hear him out, but you couldn’t think of anything to say. 

“I tried to dislike you. To push you away. I wanted this to be painless. But you made that so hard. You’re brilliant, intelligent, talented… you’re everything. You’re enchanting, y/n Lantsov. Falling for you… that wasn’t part of my plan, but here we are. You’d have to be a fool to not fall for you.” He breathed, reaching up to touch your face with the tips of his fingers. His fingertips grazed your skin and you shivered, eyes falling shut, “The fact of the matter is, I’ve tried with all my might to keep you out. I don’t want you out anymore. I couldn’t care less about power when it comes to you. You’ve enchanted me, Princess. I am under your unbreakable spell. Sometimes I think that you must be a sorceress.” 

His words hit you hard, leaving you struggling to breathe. You should have been mad at him for setting out to use you for gain. You should have slapped him and stormed out of the bedroom. He shouldn’t have been touching you so sweetly, and you shouldn’t have been letting him. Every logical thought in your head told you to get out of bed and run. Run to your parents, break the marriage, tell them the truth of what he had just told you. You should have listened to that logical side of your brain. You should have just listened to your brain in general. 

But wasn’t this what you wanted?

Confusedly, you brought a hand up to the side of your head and you shook it a few times. You’d all but begged him to love you, and here he was, confessing to you in roundabout words that he did. 

Your eyes met his and you wanted to be angry, but his gaze was so soft, so adoring, and it made you waver. He slid his hand around to the back of your head and he pulled your face close to his. 

“I will be honest with you, completely honest, going forward. I give you my word on that. You have every right to be angry. But I beg of you; don’t walk away.” And he was indeed begging. You’d never heard this tone leave his mouth before. He never begged. He was to be begged for. He commanded respect wherever he went. You doubted this man had ever begged for anything in his entire life. 

He pulled your face closer, so close now that his lips brushed yours as he spoke.

“Let me love you. The way you deserve.” 

Hearing his words was blissful. You tried desperately to muster up some- any- anger, but you were failing miserably. Every urge to scream, to run, to leave, was rapidly slipping away, and all you could focus on now was how close his lips were to yours. You swallowed thickly, not opening your mouth, afraid of what might come out. You noticed your hands were trembling and you balled them into fists to keep them from shaking.

Let me love you. 

Weren’t you asking him to do this just a month ago? The words echoed in your head on and on, back and forth, and despite your better judgment, you felt one word slip through your lips. 

“Okay.”

Then, he kissed you. This kiss was much sweeter than the last, and you were hesitant to kiss back now, but did it really matter? You’d already pushed aside all logic tonight. What would it hurt to kiss your husband back?

So you did. 

-

“Are your eyes closed?” Your husband asked you, giddy with excitement. 

You smiled and for extra measure, put your hands over your closed eyes, “Yes, my love. They aren’t open.” You replied, letting him gently steer you into another room. 

He finally stopped walking and held you still, his hands gently holding your waist from behind. You leaned back into his grasp and let out a soft, content sigh. 

“Alright. You may go ahead and open your eyes.” 

You uncovered your eyes and opened them up and your eyes fell upon a brilliant dress sitting upon a dress form in the middle of the room. It was a sleek, black gown with a low neckline and long sleeves. Pearls and little crystals were sewn into the fabric in swirling designs around the neckline and over the sleeves. You slowly turned around and looked up at your husband with wide eyes. 

“I know black has never been your choice of color to wear, and if you don’t want to wear it to the fete tonight, you may pick whatever else you’d like, but I had this made for you. I just thought perhaps that we could match.” He murmured, reaching out to grab your chin delicately. 

You smiled up at him gratefully and you shook your head, “No, I want to wear it. It’s beautiful.” You said softly, leaning into his touch. You were much more open to wearing black these days anyway, having the newfound desire to wear your husband’s color for everyone to see.  

He leaned down and brought your lips to his in a slow, relaxed kiss. You relished the feeling of his warm lips against yours and you moved closer to him, bringing a hand up to rest on the side of his neck. He pulled away and you let out a disappointed whine, trying to chase his lips with your own as he stood back up straight. 

He chuckled, “There will be plenty of time for that later, my love. For now, I think we ought to start getting ready for the fete tonight.”

You frowned and dramatically sighed, collapsing forward against his chest. You wound both of your arms up around his neck and you rested your cheek against the center of his chest, 

“Thank you.” You whispered, “The dress is beautiful.” 

He wrapped his own arms around your waist and drew you in close, his nose burying itself in your hair, “You needn’t thank me, sweet girl. It’ll look beautiful on you.”

“What will you wear?” You asked, tucking your face against his shoulder. Your fingers absentmindedly twisted in the hair at the back of his head and you gave it a very gentle tug. 

“Something nice. Similarly colored, too.” He said, sarcastically. 

You smiled at his dry remark and you pulled your head back to look up at his beautiful face. His dark eyes looked down into yours and he brought a hand up to your face, cupping your cheek carefully. There was a certain pain in his eyes that you couldn’t ignore and you brought your hand up to rest against the back of his. 

“What troubles you, darling?” You asked, your smile faltering just slightly. 

He brought his forehead down to yours and he nudged your nose with the tip of his, “Little love, what makes you think something troubles me?” He asked, lips grazing yours. 

“You look… anguished. In your eyes.” You answered, your own eyes falling closed. His breath fanned across your face and you parted your lips slightly when his brushed across yours. 

“Anguished? How could I be anguished at a time like this? I have my darling wife in my arms.” He whispered, his tone convincing. 

“Are you sure?” You asked quietly, “You can tell me.” You pressed, fingers sliding in between his. 

“I assure you, there is no anguish inside of me. You’ve made sure of that.” He cooed, pressing multiple feather-light kisses to your lips. 

You took his word for it and slowly pulled away from him, smiling just a bit, “Do you get to help me into my dress or is that a task for your Tailor?” You asked, wandering towards the dress in the middle of the room.  

“I suppose that if you want the dress on now, we can put it on you.” He answered and followed you. 

You turned the dress form around and unlaced the silk gown with delicate fingers before you pulled it off entirely. You held the garment out for your husband to take and he did, his eyes never leaving you. You quickly undressed out of your plain sky blue gown and you kicked it aside, eager to get into the dress that he had made for you. You turned to face your husband now and you stepped closer to him and held your hands out for the dress. Instead, he took a step closer to you and he grabbed your arm. He tugged you close to him and he dipped his head down to place a few kisses to your shoulder. You let out a soft sigh when you felt his lips against your skin and you nearly shivered. 

“If you start something like that, I’m afraid I won’t stop you.” You whispered shakily, bringing a hand up into his hair as he trailed his lips down towards your collarbones. 

“Don’t stop me, then, Princess.” He mumbled, hand still on your arm. You almost allowed him to convince you, but you frowned and shook your head.

“We don’t have time. You have to get ready, so do I…” you hummed, rather distracted. His kiss made your stomach do flips and as much as you said that you two shouldn’t, you wanted to allow him to do whatever he pleased in that moment. 

Much to your secret dismay, The Darkling lifted his head away from your chest and he hummed. 

“Such a shame. I suppose I’ll just have to look forward to taking you out of that dress, then.” He commented and finally let go of your arm and handed you the gown. 

You carefully took it from his hands and you stepped into the dress. You pulled it up and slid your arms into the soft sleeves and then turned around. Your husband moved your hair over your shoulder as your back faced him and he laced up your dress. You recalled the last time he did this and almost laughed at how different it was now. The first time he’d laced up your dress, you’d not wanted him anywhere near you, and now all you could think about was his hands all over you. The thought of his hands all over your body made you bite your bottom lip and you tilted your head to the side. 

He finished doing up your dress and he turned you around slowly, taking in the way the dress settled upon your body. There was a sense of pride in the way that he smiled down at you and you did a little twirl in front of him. The skirt of the dress swished around your ankles and you giggled, turning back around to grin up at your husband. 

“Do we like it?” You asked, running your hands over the pearl embellished bodice.

“We do.” His tone was low and his eyes were taking you in as if it was the first time he was seeing you. 

You bounded forward and threw your arms around his neck once more, tugging him down towards you. You pressed a handful of excited kisses to his lips and each time he kissed you back, his lips curling into a pleasant smile. 

“Thank you.” You breathed, bumping your nose against his. 

He pulled away and he took your hand in his, “Don’t thank me, Princess. I should thank you for wearing it, gracing my eyes with your beauty. Besides, I like it when you wear my color. It gives me a sense of pride, it’s such a beautiful sight to see you in it. I don’t just ask anyone to wear it, you know. Only someone who has a special place in my heart.” He replied and then winked down at you, “Come, let’s go get you ready for the fete.” He prompted and tugged you towards the door, his eyes lingering on you for just a second longer. 

You couldn’t help but notice the pained look that still hung in his dark eyes. 

-

“My beautiful girl!” Your mother’s voice rang out across the crowded room. 

Your parents rose from their seats when you came into view and you gave them a soft smile. You were clinging to your husband’s arm as if someone would take him from your grasp, and justifiably so. This was the largest event of the year, and there were hundreds of people, some of which from other countries. The eyes of almost everyone in the room were on the two of you, and you imagined you must have been a spectacle. It was no surprise to see the Second Army’s General in all black, but for you to be in his color? That must have been new. A little smirk threatened to cover your lips, you felt so powerful at his side. 

The two of you took graceful strides up to your parents and you finally pulled away from your husband’s arm. You stood up on your toes and placed a quick, chaste kiss on his lips. He let out a breathy laugh as you pulled away and turned to your parents. You greeted them warmly and gave them both little kisses on their cheeks before you turned to your brother, Vasily. You gave him a curt nod and then took your place back at your husband’s side.

“I never thought I’d see the day where you wore anything that wasn’t so brightly colored.” Your mother commented and sat back in her plush chair, “You look dazzling, dear. Both of you. You could make a burlap sack look good though, darling! I mean, I’d hope you never have to but, still!” Your mother gushed, and you chuckled and glanced up at your husband. 

His eyes didn’t meet yours. In fact, his eyes were transfixed on the doorway. You slowly followed his gaze once you realized he wasn’t tearing his attention away from whatever was at the doorway anytime soon, and quickly wished you hadn’t. 

Alina Starkov, the Sun Summoner stepped into the room looking as decorated as a war hero. Her hair was done up beautifully and she looked poised and… perfect. None of this would have bothered you though, if it wasn’t for her clothing.

Black. 

A black kefta with beautiful golden embroidery. 

Your mouth twitched angrily and you watched her as she approached you and your husband, her eyes on his. He watched her with a smile as she strode towards you two and you slipped your arm away from his, turning your head slowly towards him. He slowly shifted his eyes towards your face, and his smile seemed to melt. The pained look returned to his eyes as he looked at you and he opened his mouth as if he were going to speak but you held your hand up. 

“Not. A. Word.” You hissed and he seemed as if he was going to argue, but you cleared your throat and turned towards your parents, giving them a warm, performative smile, “May I sit with you, Mother?” You asked, motioning to the empty seat next to her. 

Your mother enthusiastically urged you to sit down and you did, your legs crossing stiffly. Your husband looked at you, pleaded for your attention with his eyes and the look within them, but you turned your head to listen to whatever conversation your parents and Vasily were having. You felt sick to your stomach while you only half listened to Vasily speak about the ongoing war and you wrapped your arms around yourself. 

“I don’t just ask anyone to wear it, you know. Only someone who has a special place in my heart.”

Your husband’s words from earlier rang in your ears and your eyes strayed to him. He stood next to Alina now, talking to her. A smitten smile covered her lips. You couldn’t take it. You shot up from your chair and you heard your mother gasp, startled by the sudden movement. 

“I’ll be back, excuse me please.” You murmured. 

Your mother grabbed your wrist and looked up at you, “Oh, but if you leave now you’ll miss the show!” Your mother exclaimed, pointing to Alina and your husband. 

“Let her go, Mother.” Vasily said in a sympathetic tone. You looked at your brother, shocked, and he gave you a half smile before his gaze wandered to Alina and your husband. He looked back at you and he nodded towards the door, “I’m sure she’ll be back in time for drinks, Mother.” He finished. 

You felt a bit taken aback by your brother’s kindness, and furthermore his attention to detail, but you were thankful nonetheless, and you turned quickly on your heel and made your way into the crowd. You moved past your husband and Alina and you pushed through a crowd of people by the door who all gasped once they saw who was shoving them out of the way. Tears welled up in your eyes and you swallowed them back, forcing yourself to stay composed. You heard gasps and cheers and then applause behind you, but you didn’t look back. You kept pushing ahead. Your hands were shaking as you made it out of the crowd and you rushed down the hallway, holding your hand over your aching chest. You came to the grand staircase which was being watched by two royal guards, making sure no partygoers got upstairs. You gave them both a polite nod, and they gave you a respectful bow of the head as you passed by them. 

You took the steps two at a time, rushing to get upstairs where no one could see you. Once you’d reached the landing at the top of the stairs, you bolted into a hallway just to your left and you leaned against the wall. You listened silently for anyone, and once you had deduced that no one was around, you slid down the wall, your shaking hand still clasped to your chest. You felt panicked and angry. You felt like your chest was going to collapse in on itself and you lowered your entire body to the floor, curling up into a makeshift ball, your dress not allowing you full range of motion. 

You wanted to slam your head against the wall. How could you have been so stupid? Your husband didn’t love you. How could he? You were both pushed into a marriage that you didn’t want, both practically strangers to one another before then, too. Tears began to stream steadily out of your eyes and down onto the cool marble floor beneath your cheek. He’d lied to you. He made you feel important to him, he spent every day since you’d admitted you wanted his love, doting on you and making you feel like you’d finally had it. You thought you’d had it. 

Of course he’d want Alina Starkov. Being with you had one selling point; a political advantage. A power grab. But being with Alina? They were both Grisha, you were not. They were each other’s balance. She was the light to his darkness, and you were… nothing. In fifty years, Alina wouldn’t have aged a moment, she’d still be as radiant as she was tonight, but in fifty years for you? You’d be growing old, you wouldn’t be able bodied any longer. 

So of course your husband wouldn’t love you. You were a handful of decades of slight inconvenience and then he’d never have to deal with you again. 

You weren’t sure how long you’d been lying there in the dark, empty hallway, but you had long since stopped crying. Your head ached horribly, your chest felt empty, and you couldn’t bear to drag yourself up off of the floor and down the corridor to your old bedroom, even though it was mere steps away from where you laid against the wall. You were certain that you looked absolutely pathetic there, curled up in a mess of fabric with tears stained cheeks and bright red eyes. 

You felt heartbroken. Did you even have the right to feel that way? Your relationship with The Darkling had been tumultuous and was all over the place, never staying consistently one way for as long as it had been a thing. Could you even call it a relationship? Your head spun and you reached up to dry your eyes, your arms feeling stiff. The air around you seemed to be cold and it caused little goosebumps to break out all over your skin. Distantly, you heard voices calling out for you, but you ignored them and pushed yourself up off of the floor. You refused to allow anyone to see you in such a state. You’d been taught from a young age to always be composed in front of others, it was unbecoming of a princess to be a mess. 

You shakily climbed to your feet, feeling another wave of tears building up behind your eyes and you walked tiredly into your old bedroom, slamming the door behind you. Everything inside was clean and crisp, just as you had left it many months ago. You collapsed onto the bed in the dark room and you stared up at the ceiling soundlessly, tears escaping the corners of your eyes. Odd, you thought. You’d been under the impression that you’d cried out all your tears.

The sounds of your name grew closer and closer, but you still ignored them, not wanting to be bothered. You wanted to be alone, you wanted to mourn, whatever this was, alone. 

You didn’t have such luck, though. Footsteps stampeded through the hallway and your door was flung open. 

“I’ve found her!” A voice called out, and you recognized it as one of your father’s personal guards. 

“Y/n!” You heard your mother shriek as she pushed her way into the room. You turned your head and watched your father, your brother, three guards, and much to your dismay, your husband all flood into the room. 

“Darling, are you hurt?” Your father asked and approached you, standing at the side of your bed. 

Yes, you wanted to say, but you shook your head a few times and turned your head away from your father. 

“Oh, my sweet child!” Your mother cried and rushed to your side, reaching down to wipe your cheeks dry with the backs of her hands, “Where on earth have you been? Someone has tried to kill the Sun Summoner, and we couldn’t find you, and we were so afraid-“

“Tatiana, we don’t need to frighten her. She’s safe.” Your father said, cutting your mother off. Your father turned and looked at your husband and he nodded at you once and you wanted to scream. Your husband slowly approached you as well and you wanted to jump off of the bed and throw yourself out the window to get away from him. 

But you didn’t. Instead, you stared up at him disdainfully. Unshed tears seemed to sit in his eyes and he looked unusually out of sorts. Perhaps no one could tell as much, but you could. You’d spent almost everyday with the man for many, many months, and you couldn’t tell, he wasn’t at his most composed.  

“You could have been killed.” He said in a harsh whisper, looking down upon you with a look of sadness. 

You didn’t reply, you only closed your eyes and turned your head away from all of them. Maybe if you held your breath for a moment, they’d disappear. Maybe if you kept your eyes shut, you’d disappear into thin air. You wished you were invisible.

“I want to be alone. I’m sure-“ 

“Alone? Oh, no. No, no. Absolutely not, darling. You are to go back to the Little Palace with the General at once. You are not to be alone, not after the fright we’ve had tonight.” Your father said sternly. 

You widened your eyes in anger and you readied yourself to argue, but before you could get a sound out of your mouth, your husband scooped you into his arms like a doll. You looked up at him scornfully and he avoided your eyes, looking up at your parents instead. 

“I’ll keep her safe while we figure out what’s going on.” He promised and your parents nodded. 

He finally looked down at you with that same, pained expression from earlier and he began to walk towards the door. 

Vasily stepped in front of your husband just as he was going to walk out of the room and he looked The Darkling up and down. 

“Vasily-“ you began, but you wouldn’t get the chance to finish, because your brother stepped aside and silenced you with a look. Your husband stared down at your brother as if to dare him to do something. 

After a tense few seconds, your husband walked out into the hallway, away from your parents and brother, and down the stairs. Once he had reached the bottom of the stairs, you sniffled and placed your hands on his chest, pushing slightly. 

“Put me down. Please.” You said hoarsely. 

“Not a chance.” He replied drearily. 

“Put me down, now. I don’t want you to touch me.” 

“I need you to trust me. I don’t care what you want right now, but-“

“Trust you?” You bellowed, feeling a white hot surge of anger at his words and your husband shot you a deadly look. You glared up at him as he did and you shook your head, “I will never forgive you for this.” You hissed. 

“I’ll live without your forgiveness. You could have been in danger tonight, you know. I was worried.” He scolded you, walking down into the courtyard with you in his arms. Once he reached the gravel road, he set you down on your feet and he stared down into your eyes, “If you had been hurt tonight… I don’t know what I would have done.”

“You would have gone on just fine by Alina’s side.” 

“Y/n, you already know I don’t have feelings for Alina.” He groaned and grabbed you by your arms, “Open your eyes! I only have a place in my heart for you.” He insisted. 

You jutted your chin up in the air and shook your head, “My eyes are wide open, and I don’t need to-“ you were cut off by the sight of Baghra, seemingly appearing out of nowhere next to the two of you. 

“I heard about your Tracker.” She drawled, looking up at her son with the same stone cold eyes that you’d seen on your husband many times. 

A pointed flash of controlled anger sparkled in your husband’s eyes and you rapidly looked between the two of them, unsure of what was going on in the conversation. 

“Who?” Your husband asked, tone blank. 

“The Tracker,” she repeated, “Yes, I know about him… and your little mission.” She deadpanned.

Your husband reached down and grabbed your wrist gently and moved you behind him, just as he did the last time Baghra had come around. She snorted humorlessly at the motion. 

“What have you done with him?” Your husband asked in a low tone. 

“Disposed of. Along with your hopes of locating the stag.” She countered back, a certain smugness hiding behind the collected tone she spoke in. 

Your husband seemed amused and his jaw flexed before he spoke again, “I always have hope, Mother. Even you can’t kill that.”

“That isn’t hope. That’s greed.” She corrected, taking a step closer to both of you. You felt uneasy, and even more so when her eyes flickered to you and stayed on your face, “You would use Alina against the rest of the world, just as you planned to use this poor little girl.”

Your husband’s lip twitched downwards and he balled his fists up at his sides, “Mother, I’d beseech you to leave my wife out of this. As for Alina, she is the future, she is the one-“

“Yes!” Baghra quipped, a little smirk forming on her thin, wrinkled lips, “but where is she?”

“Careful.” Your husband snapped, stepping aside to block you from his mother’s view, “you don’t really matter anymore, either.”

“Careful? Me? I’m always careful, Aleksander.” She cooed, and your mouth fell open. Aleksander? Was that your husband’s name? You’d never known him by a first name, and perhaps that was on purpose. You’d only asked about it once, days after your marriage, and he simply told you that his name wasn’t important knowledge. 

Baghra continued, breaking you out of your thoughts. 

“Perhaps you should be careful. Princess Lantsov isn’t indestructible, you know.” She said in a high pitched, cocky whisper. 

You felt a shiver run down your spine. Was she threatening you? You had never done anything to her, you’d never even had a proper conversation with the old woman. 

“If you so much as threaten to put my wife in harm’s way,” he began, stepping closer to his mother, towering over her menacingly, “think about what I might do.”

You watched the two of them from over your husband’s shoulder and you took one step back before your husband turned around and he grabbed your wrist again, pulling you protectively against his side while he walked away from his mother. 

“I’d wager you’d need a skilled tracker to find Alina now!” His mother called after him, but he kept walking with his hand around your wrist. 

You could’ve sworn he was trembling, but you weren’t sure. 

The two of you walked in silence back to your shared bedroom in the Little Palace, and he slammed the door behind the two of you, letting your wrist go once you were in the safety of your own quarters. You took a few steps away from him and you looked him up and down a few times, wrapping your arms around yourself. 

“You don’t have to understand all of the reasons behind the things I do.” He said, taking a step towards you. 

Your brain was reeling from the conversation he’d just had with his mother in front of you and you pressed your fingertips into your skin as he stepped closer to you. 

You took one step back again. 

“Stop.” You whispered.

“I need you to listen to me now.” He pressed, walking towards you now. 

“Stop.” You pleaded, taking a few more steps back. 

“You have to hear me out, Princess. This is life or death.” He insisted, taking another step closer. 

You backed up until your back hit the wall and you shook your head violently.

“Stop, please.” You said and covered your ears, but he still approached you. 

“Nothing is as it seems-“

“Aleksander, stop!” You cried, clutching your head in your hands. 

The silence was thick between the two of you, and when you looked up at his face, he seemed surprised. He stopped moving towards you, stopped speaking, stopped moving all together. It seemed you had completely caught him off guard. 

“Enough. Enough of this. This ends tonight. You will be honest with me- completely honest- and I will walk out of this palace and our marriage will be over. I am not negotiating, this is not up for discussion, I am telling you what you will do.” You commanded, leaning your head back against the wall exhaustedly. 

He seemed to completely concede and he gave you one single nod, “What would you like to know?”

“Everything. You will tell me everything. Start at the beginning. Why did you want to marry me? What purpose could I possibly even serve for you?”

He didn’t respond right away. He took his time to think, to stare at your face longingly. Finally, he exhaled and he folded his arms over his chest. 

“I wasn’t lying when I told you I wanted power. Marrying you means that if something were to happen to your brother, I’d be next in line to rule. Alongside you, of course. My plan was set in stone, until I made you cry in the hallway, the first day I was back with Alina. You looked so sad, so hurt by the words I’d said to you, and for the first time in a very long time, I felt guilty. Falling for you… came quickly after that. You were no longer just a means to get what I wanted. You were a girl. A beautiful, sweet girl, who only wanted to love and be loved in return, a girl that was completely innocent. You’d committed no crime, done no harm to warrant what I’d set out for. I didn’t lie when I said that you have enchanted me. I love you. I adore you. I am sick with adoration for you.” He confessed, falling to his knees before you. 

You stared down at him and it took everything in you to not crumble to your own knees and beg him to take you in his arms. It took willpower you didn’t even know you had to stay standing against the wall. 

“And what of Alina? What about her?” You asked, your voice wavering. 

“Alina Starkov is power. Alina is…” he trailed off, collecting his thoughts before he started back up again, “My intentions with Alina are less than honorable. She is a rather large stepping stone towards the power I desire. But she is nothing more. When I told you I didn’t have feelings for her, I didn’t lie, y/n. How could I? She isn’t you.” He insisted, leaning forward on his knees. 

“What of her wearing black then? You told me that you only wanted someone close to you to wear your color.” You demanded, hands on your hips. 

“I needed her to trust me. That is all. I swear on my life, darling, that there is no room for her in my heart.” He pleaded. The look in his eyes was desperate and you let out a shaky sigh you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. 

You knew by the way he spoke, the way his eyes were pleading with you, the way he had taken to his knees in front of you, that he was telling you the truth. There was no evasion, no stories. Just the truth. You very slowly sank to your knees in front of him and you grabbed his chin with your fingers. 

“What was your mother going on about?” You asked, staring into his eyes. 

This seemed much harder for him to answer by the look on his face. He reached up and grabbed your hand and pulled it away from his chin. He held your hand tightly in his and he let out a long sigh. 

“I will explain this to you in time. But all you need to know right now is that my mother is intent on hurting anyone who dares take my side, one way or another. I have been presented with the opportunity to further my power, through the use of a very old, very powerful, practically mythical creature, and my mother is hellbent on taking that away from me.” He explained, holding your hand tighter.

“Why do you need more power, Aleksander?” You asked quietly, staring into his eyes seriously. 

“So that I can build a perfect world for you and me.” He whispered, pulling you closer to him. 

You hesitantly moved closer to your husband and then you stopped. 

Though everything he said to you was likely the truth based on his demeanor, it still didn’t excuse it. Your bottom lip quivered and you sniffled back tears as you stared into his eyes. Your brain told you to get up and leave. It told you to walk out and never look back, and that’s what you wanted to do. That’s what you should do. But your heart ached in your chest at the sight of him and you found yourself shuffling forward to collapse against his chest. 

He let out a quiet sound that could have passed as an exhale, but it sounded a bit too similar to a sob. His strong arms wound around your body and held you against his chest protectively, lovingly. He pressed his cheek against the top of your head and you gathered the lapels of his kefta in your fists, pulling yourself closer to him. 

You felt weak, and you scolded yourself for not having the willpower to walk out of his room. You should have pulled away from him and done it anyway, but he held you so tenderly. You pressed your ear against his chest and could swear that you heard the faint thump of his heart. You felt safe in his embrace, comforted, too. 

His hand slid up into your hair and he very gently ran his fingers through it, knowing fully how it relaxed you. 

“Don’t leave me, darling. Please. You are all I have.” He whispered, pressing his lips against your temple, “All I need. I will protect you always, love you, always. Just stay with me.” He pleaded, voice gentle. 

And once again, you found yourself conceding. 

-

The day after the Winter Fete was overcast and grey. It was as if the party had summoned winter, because the air became much colder and much drier. The air was thick and full of tension in the Little Palace, and everyone was bustling about busily. Your husband had been among the busy. You sat in an armchair by your bed, reading-but-not-really-reading one of your husband’s books, tucked underneath a thick blanket. 

Your husband had mentioned the day would be busy for him as you two laid in bed last night. So far from what you understood, someone had tried to kill Alina last night. Your husband had slipped out once you were asleep to interrogate the man who attempted to kill her. Furthermore, Alina had run off last night after being prompted to leave by Baghra, a Heartrender close to your husband, by the name of Nina, was missing, and so was the boy that had told your husband about the mythical animal he’d been hunting. 

A knock sounded at your door, breaking the eerie silence around you, and you looked up from your book. 

“Come in!” You called, tipping your head to the side. 

Ivan, one of your husband’s closest confidants, opened the door and gave you a small, rare smile. 

“Your Grace, The General wishes to see you in his office.” He said, bowing his head at you respectfully. 

You tucked a piece of your hair back behind your ear and you smiled, “Alright. Thank you, Ivan.” You said softly and rose from the chair, setting the blanket on the bed. You placed the book down on the chair and looked up at Ivan who hadn’t left the room yet, “You may go, I’m sure you have much to attend to.” You said with a small smile. 

Ivan shook his head and he gave you another smile, though it was a bit sympathetic this time, “My apologies, Princess, but your husband has requested that I escort you there. He’s a bit worried after last night.”

“Ivan,” you began with a soft laugh, “it’s only down the hall.”

He gave you an apologetic glance and then you sighed, nodding once, understanding that he was only following orders. You walked towards Ivan and he offered his arm to you, which you took with a quiet ‘thank you’. He led you out of your room and down the hall to Aleksander’s office, which was quite literally just six doors away. He pushed the door open without knocking and he pulled his arm away from yours. 

You stepped inside of the office to see your husband sitting at his desk. He slowly turned his head to see who was at the door, and when he saw you, he looked relieved. A sweet smile crept up onto his face and he held his hand out for you, beckoning you closer. You returned his smile and made your way over to him, lifting the skirt of your dress up off of the floor. Once you reached his side, he grabbed your hand and lifted it to his lips. He pressed a kiss to your knuckles and then he slowly moved your hand away from his lips, gazing up at you contently. 

“I’ve missed you.” He commented with a little sigh, “Sit.” He said and shifted a bit in his chair to give you space to sit on his thigh.

You sat down on his thigh and you wrapped both of your arms around his neck, peering down at the papers on his desk.

“Any word on… well, anything?” You asked, twisting the ends of his hair around your fingertips. 

“Not so far… but we’re going to be assembling a group to go searching for her.” He replied and leaned close to you to press a soft kiss to your cheek, “I’d like you to come with me. I’m not leaving you here where my mother is. I don’t trust her, and I don’t think any guard could keep her in line should she… act out.” He explained, resting his forehead against the side of your face.  

“Come with you? But what about my parents? Will they even allow it?” You asked, raising your eyebrows. You couldn’t imagine your mother being overly elated to have you leave Os Alta. 

“By law, you are under my care as my wife. They don’t really have much say. Though, I’ll speak to them and explain that you’ll be safer with me given the attack at the party last night.” He hummed and pulled his head away from yours. He looked back down at the papers on his desk and you looked down at them as well. Maps and notes and letters were strewn messily across his desk and it was hard to tell what exactly he was looking at. 

“Shall I pack?” You asked, eyeing a book that had a sketch of a large stag with an intricate set of antlers. 

“No need, little love,” he answered, not looking up, “I’ve already had servants pack everything you will need to be away for some time.”

You laid your head down against his shoulder and you felt his arm slide around your waist, holding you close to him. You felt a bit uneasy as you eyed the maps on his desk. You’d never been out of Os Alta more than once in your entire life, and you had sure never been anywhere near The Fold. You almost shivered as your eyes fell upon The Fold on the map and you hoped that you wouldn’t have to get close to it on your travels with your husband.

“We won’t have to go near The Fold, will we?” You asked softly, still fiddling with his hair. 

Aleksander sighed and he turned away from his work to look up at you, “Oh, my love, you don’t need to fear The Fold. Nothing can hurt you as long as I’m by your side.” He assured you. 

Fear made your stomach turn and you lifted your head away from his shoulder, “So we are? We aren’t going through it, though? Right?” You asked. 

“Well, when we find Alina, yes. We will be going through it.” He replied and you shook your head a few times. 

“Aleksander-“

“My love,” he cut you off, placing his hand on the side of your face, “nothing will happen. You will be perfectly safe and taken care of. Please, don’t fret about this.” He whispered soothingly, leaning up to press a few reassuring kisses to the side of your face. 

The thought of going through The Fold was terrifying. You’d been told from a young age that many times, people did not cross it safely. You bit your bottom lip and looked back at the map on his desk with the large black stain indicating The Fold. 

“If we’re going through with Alina, she’ll tear it down, then, right? That’s the whole reason we need her?” You asked and then looked back at your husband. 

He smoothed back your hair and he placed a little kiss on your nose, “You are worrying about things that don’t need to be worried about, darling. Everything will go according to plan.” 

You still felt uneasy at the prospect of going through The Fold, but you laid your head back on Aleksander’s shoulder nonetheless. 

“When are we leaving?” You asked softly and grabbed his hand in your own, playing with his fingers. 

“In an hour.” He replied and moved up to press a quick kiss to your lips. 

You hummed when he kissed you and slowly pulled back when he did, “So soon?” You asked, surprised. 

“Well, yes. We need to get going before nightfall.” He replied and slid his fingers in between yours, “Why don’t we go get you dressed warmly, hm?” He suggested and you slid off of his lap, nodding once. 

He rose from his chair and he neatly pushed it in, leaving the maps and other papers scattered across his desk. He had faint dark circles under his eyes and his hair was a bit out of place, he seemed tired. You gently grabbed his hand and frowned, looking up into his eyes. 

“You seem so tired, Aleksander. Why don’t you sleep for a little while? Surely we can leave after you wake.” You pressed, though you doubted he’d agree. You turned out to be correct because he shook his head and gave you a small smile. 

“We really need to get going, y/n.” He stated, tugging you towards the door. 

You followed alongside him as he brought you back to your bedroom and he dropped your hand as soon as you were inside. He rushed to the wardrobe and opened it up, pulling out your long, thick coat and one of his heavy, fur-lined cloaks. You puffed out your cheeks almost exasperatedly and you made your way to your bed. You sat down on the edge of the bed and watched him as he compared coats, trying to figure out which one was warmer. Truthfully, the last thing you wanted to do was follow him around while he hunted down Alina and this animal, but you weren’t too sure how well that conversation would go over. 

Finally, your husband had made a decision on which coat to put on you and he came and laid it next to you on the bed, giving you a soft smile as he did.  

“Will you put on a warmer dress, darling? One of the heavier ones, please.” He requested, standing in front of you to cup your cheeks in his cold hands. 

“This dress is plenty warm, especially if I will have a coat and your cloak on.” You replied and leaned into his hands. The cold, hard edges of your husband’s rings pressed into your cheek and you shivered slightly. 

“Y/n. A warmer dress, please.” He replied, and you knew this wasn’t up for discussion.

He pulled away and you stood up, going over to the wardrobe with a little sigh. You dug through your wide array of dresses before you found one of your winter dresses and you pulled it out. You quickly changed out of your current dress and into the warmer one while your husband rummaged through one of your chests, presumably looking for gloves. When he found them, he walked towards you and he placed them gently in your hands. 

“Put these on. And…” he paused and walked over to the bed and grabbed the coat, “this too.” He said and you let out a quiet sigh. 

You put the gloves on, as well as the coat with a bit of help from him, and once you were buttoned up tightly inside of your coat, he stepped back and surveyed you for a moment. He nodded once, seemingly pleased with his work and then he began to put on his own cloak and gloves. 

“Aleksander?” You asked in a tiny voice, looking over at your husband with a small frown.  

He lifted his head and looked at you while he tied his cloak up, “Yes, little love?” He asked, raising his eyebrow curiously. 

“I don’t want to leave home.” You said quietly, shuffling your feet almost awkwardly. The thought of Ravka outside of Os Alta was terrifying to you. Your parents had always told you that the war had taken its toll on the country and that the best place to be was the capital, the safest place, too. 

He thought for a moment on how to respond to you, and you thought that he wasn’t going to reply at all, but he finally let out a very slow sigh and approached you, holding his arms open. You slowly stepped into his arms and he wrapped them around your waist, holding you close to his chest. 

“I know you’re nervous, but you must understand, sweet girl, that I would never let anything happen to you. It’s simply out of the question. You will be the safest you’ve ever been with me, surrounded by other very gifted Grisha.” His voice was velvety and you suddenly felt very silly for your fears. He had a way of doing that- making you feel like he was the only answer to your questions, soothing your worries with sweet words and touches. 

As you rested your head against his chest, he brought a hand up to hold the back of your head and you let out a very quiet sigh, your eyes falling shut. He held you for a while, unmoving, and you wondered if he had turned to marble for a moment. Finally, he let go of you and leaned down to press a kiss to your hairline. 

“We should get going.” He murmured and took your hand. 

You nodded once and squeezed his hand, disappointed to find that you were still nervous. 

[utilitycaster]

Do you think part of the D20 journalistic bias comes from D20 being edited? It gives the appearance of much more effortless play and lets them control the pacing in a way unedited play like CR simply can't do. They get to (potentially) hide a lot of stuff people would jump on as flaws while CR has no choice but to let it all play out. I greatly prefer CR's approach, despite it biting them in the ass a bit through no fault of their own.

Answering these both together to group cause and my opinions, and I do want to note this is specifically about journalism/press coverage, not their respective fandoms even though there's obviously some overlap.

I think there's a couple things, but I do want to note this was actually prompted by Daggerheart, not Critical Role. The response from several prominent voices in the Actual Play journalism community, whom I will not name here but whom I do not respect intellectually, really was, within hours of the open beta (which as far as I know they didn't have early access to - more on that later) "um it could be better, I don't like xyz and also it's sooooooo important to have criticism" and again, it is important to have criticism, but also you act like D20 has never had a mediocre moment and that Kollok is brilliant, so.

This...got away from me a bit. I'd say I'm sorry but actually I adore writing thousands of words about actual play and it will happen again but I'm putting the detailed answer below a cut. The short answer is I think a lot of Actual Play journalists actually sort of fell into their jobs through being vaguely involved in nerd spaces and aren't actually equipped to talk intelligently about TTRPGs and actual play as a medium that should, at its best, be a perfect fusion of narrative and mechanics. So instead they're distracted by flashy edits and bright lights and cool noises and some abstract concept of "novelty" and write only about that. Also Critical Role is the 700 lb gorilla in the AP space (though not, actually, the TTRPG space) and doesn't give them early access and that's meaaaaaan. Indeed, for all I think a lot of their coverage of D20 and Worlds Beyond Number is obsessively fawning, I also think it's extremely surface level, frequently factually wrong, and fails to get at what's truly excellent about those shows either.

I think, honestly, the biggest one is that I don't actually think a lot of Actual Play journalists watch series in full. I was looking for Polygon coverage of Fantasy High Junior Year and they have one glowing article but it's more about Fantasy High as setting and institution and D20 "changing the game" (also more on this later) to the point of outright contradicting the pull quotes they used from interviewing Brennan Lee Mulligan (also more on this later). So I started looking through their coverage and actually, quite a number of their write-ups are based on only one episode, or half a season. Clearly, they haven't read the full open beta (nor have I, but I think their complaints about the character build process belie a profound misunderstanding of what TTRPGs are, also more on this later). So editing is certainly part of it because it's really easy to see cool special effects and sound design within one episode and shit out a hacky article about it, whereas actually getting to the substance - character relationships, cohesive narrative, storytelling - requires work that I do not think they're doing. And on the one hand I do kind of get it, because yeah, if journalism is your livelihood then you perhaps do not have the time to watch 4 hours of D&D a week for 2-3 years if you're only going to get one article every six months out of it. But I don't think the answer is "focus intently on Microsoft Powerpoint-esque scene transition tricks while ignoring that nothing occurring at the table is actually fun to watch." For more on this, see this post.

The second, which is very relevant to Daggerheart but also is actually a big gap in D20 and WBN coverage in my opinion, and which I put in the tags, is that I actually don't think a lot of journalists have a solid understanding of TTRPGs nor of most genres. And I think Critical Role has a particularly good understanding of both these things, actually, if one skewed towards collaborative storytelling that is not rules-light. I think one really big example is that one person within the space is mad at the Daggerheart questions for the character archetypes because what if your character doesn't fit these. I think this is dumb as shit. I actually think that a common criticism of D&D - that you can't play ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING - is not valid, or rather, it's a valid opinion to hold but if you want to play a character who doesn't fit into the available archetypes perhaps you need to find another game. We all inherently understand that Blades in the Dark characters will be members of a criminal organization in a relatively low-magic setting, correct? That you can't show up to BitD and play a lawful good wizard prince because that's not the story being told? Or like, how in Honey Heist, you are a bear and you are trying to get honey, and you cannot play a human child investigating the old abandoned house at the edge of town, but there's a cool game called Kids on Bikes that will let you do that? Great! Why is this suddenly so hard to understand in the realm of heroic fantasy, that you will fit into specific archetypes? Why do people's brains, if they have them to begin with, vanish suddenly? I know I just did a big old rant that included this within it but genuinely I think a lot of people are deeply ignorant of heroic fantasy, or don't like it, and either is fine, but then they get mad at the heroic fantasy game for having heroic fantasy archetypes when the answer is "maybe this will never make you happy because it's not for you." (Frankly, I think this is also why they love D20, because it doesn't really do straight-up heroic fantasy, and that's fine, but they do keep acting like doing a Game of Thrones pastiche is equivalent to the invention of the wheel.) Like...I remember in the Midst Q&A that Xen said they tend to not like playing typical D&D classes, but their solution was to, you know, create Midst instead of sitting around going "actually, because D&D doesn't support cyberpunk narrative and the character archetypes within very well it is an utter failure." (I could go on forever about how actually TTRPGs are not a showcase for your already extant OCs to prance around but that's a totally separate post).

Mechanics and story are inherently intertwined, is what I'm trying to get at (sorry I'm really tired and have a lot to do but I'm passionate about this answer, it will be rambly, she says like 3 pages in) and I really don't think most actual play journalists get this. At all. And I do think that CR, and Daggerheart, and the people working for it, and especially Spenser Starke, Rowan Hall, Matt Mercer, and Travis Willingham, get this more than almost anyone else in the field. I also think Brennan Lee Mulligan and Aabria Iyengar get this, and the thing is, for all the praise showered upon them, much of which I think is deserved and most of what I think is undeserved is not because they are lacking but because the person writing about them is an idiot crediting them for things they (Brennan and Aabria) would never claim to have invented, their mechanical prowess is rarely if ever written about well. Fantasy High Junior Year's downtime mechanics actually fill in a famous gap in D&D, namely, downtime, and provide an excellent marriage of story and mechanics in my opinion, and I haven't really seen any discussion, because that would require watching the part of the TTRPG show where they play the TTRPG, and knowing the vague word on the street about D&D criticism that isn't just "*nods sagely* capitalism is the BBEG."

And finally: related a bit to the edit but Critical Role used to not be able to provide any early access to press, because it was literally a live show, and I suspect they never broke the habit, and I think that is for the best. As discussed a lot of D20 coverage actually feels like they watched the press screener and then never returned to the show. And I do not know the politics about them, but given that several of these publications (notably Polygon, but some others) have been shitting on Critical Role for several years, and just generally given the way CR's leadership vs. how D20's leadership respond to fandom pressure, I suspect Critical Role does not give these journalists a ton of early or increased, if any. Honestly, why should you, if you're getting interviewed in Variety? And I think the journalists are mad, because they think they're special and should get treated as such.

I do want to wrap something up, and I want to thank @captainofthetidesbreath for talking a little about this in game design/ttrpgs and giving me the idea, but in story, you should be challenging your audience, expanding their horizons, and being new and interesting. In the actual playing of TTRPGs, especially a new one, it is vital to be inclusive and easy to understand and patient and provide points of reference. I really feel like many Actual Play journalists and some TTRPG ones as well have this equation flipped and are looking for challenging concepts that most people will never be able to get a group to be willing to play, and bells and whistles in production, but leave story as an afterthought. Critical Role designs games to actually be played and to be used specifically to tell good stories, and puts story before production, and I think that undercuts those journalists' whole deal.

[togrowoldinv]

Teamwork

Natasha Romanoff x Female Reader

The Avengers, Natasha’s family, and you and the kids watch your youngest daughter play soccer. Natasha coaches the team with a little extra motivation coming from the spectators when the team is struggling

Note: This is soft soft soft. Featuring a lot of the Avengers and Nat’s family. Enjoy!

Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 1, Natasha Romanoff Masterlist 2, Main Masterlist

Natasha stands on the opposite side of the field from you as she tries to coax three and four year olds into playing soccer.

“You’ve got to run, Taylor! Come on! You got this!” Natasha tries to encourage your daughter. She puts her hand on her shoulder to get her attention.

She’s the most uninterested of any other kid out there. You try not to laugh at the way she just keeps getting distracted by her surroundings.

“Let’s go team!” You cheer from the sidelines. The other parents clap along with you, trying to encourage their kids.

“Taylor, kick the ball!” Your youngest son shouts to her. Soccer is his sport, so it kills him to see all of the kids just running aimlessly.

“The ball didn’t do anything to me!” Taylor yells back.

You have to giggle at her words. Everyone who is watching, including the Avengers and Natasha’s family, die laughing at her words.

“I think you’ve got quite the debater on your hands, y/n,” Yelena says from next to you.

“She’s just genuinely too nice to play sports,” you say, shrugging. Sure, you love sports and wish she did too but they aren’t for everyone.

At halftime, the other team is demolishing Taylor’s team. Natasha, who stepped in as coach while the actual coach is out of town, calls in the Avengers to give a pep talk to the team.

“Alright, little ones,” Steve addresses them. “What we have to do here is continue to play as a team. You’re all doing great at that. Keep it up.”

“Yeah, you’re really working together out there,” Thor agrees. “Excellent work!”

“Oh forget that. Rogers and Thor here have gone soft,” Tony pipes in. “Five dollars to everyone who scores this half!”

“Make it twenty, Mr. Iron Man, sir,” one of the little boys argues.

“Hm, you drive a hard bargain,” Tony ponders the deal.

“Twenty, Unkie Tones,” Taylor pipes in. She looks up at him with sweet eyes. He can’t say no to her.

“Alright, twenty bucks. Let’s do this!” Tony says, clapping his hands.

Natasha sighs at the boys’ antics. She should’ve known.

“We can do this, team. I believe in all of you, okay? Team on three,” Natasha says.

All of the kids cheer on three. They don’t necessarily say team but Nat just smiles. The second half goes much better. It seems money is a motivator for the kids.

Even Taylor is more into it. She is running for a goal, so everyone cheers for her.

“Go Taylor!” You say. She turns and looks at you with a smile on her face. “No, no, keep running! Don’t stop!”

“Oh,” she giggles to herself. “Okay.”

She ends up successfully scoring a goal. Her team cheers for her so does the sidelines. Her first goal of the season and everyone who loves her got to see it.

“Otlichnaya rabota! Well done, Taylor!” Nat says as she lifts her in a hug. She kisses her cheeks softly. Taylor preens at the attention, snuggling into her mama.

The kids finish the game and end up still losing pretty badly, but they had so much fun. Nat gives them a final pep talk once the game is over and directs them to another parent that has snacks for them.

“Nice job, coach,” you tell her once she approaches the spectators.

“That was stressful,” she says. “But also fun.”

You wrap her into a hug. She gladly reciprocates. A crowd of kids who scored gather around Tony. He realizes he’ll have to pay up.

Taylor is the last one to make her way to him. She was no doubt taking her time eating her snack and drinking her juice box.

“Saved the best for last,” Tony says, getting a final twenty from his wallet.

“Tony, you don’t have to pay her,” Natasha hops in.

“No, no. A deal is a deal, right underoo?” Tony kneels in front of Taylor.

“A deal is a deal, Mama,” Taylor agrees.

Natasha chuckles. Tony hands Taylor the twenty dollar bill and she gasps. To her, it’s so much money. She gives Tony a hug and runs to Wanda, her current favorite aunt, to show her the money.

“Where was Uncle Tony when I made my hat trick last season?” Your son Jack wonders aloud. You laugh and give him a soft smile.

“Alright, let’s go home family,” you say. All of the Avengers look at you too. “How about lunch at the compound?”

“Now we’re talking!” Thor shouts. Always a loud one, that man.

“Works for me, babe,” Nat agrees. “Melina, Alexei, Yelena?”

“We’re in,” Melina answers for the group.

“Okay. Let’s all go home then,” you say this time.

The group all file into cars and drive to the compound. You have a nice cookout and enjoy each other’s company.

It’s truly the best family in the world. Days like this these days are rare, but you’re always so grateful for them.

[armageddon-generation]

The Bear Season 3 is a bridge season that feels weird on purpose, but also has some big problems: A review/ramble

Season 3 is clearly a bridge season, and suffers from having been written & shot alongside season 4. As a result, unlike the seasons 1 & 2, it doesn’t feel like a distinctive or complete chapter of the restaurant’s life. Just half of one.

This is partly because there’s no ‘end-goal’ like in S2, or clear progression/visible improvement to the restaraunt like in S1. Season 3 is about stagnation. Most of its storylines are left unresolved- the review, Sydney’s job offer, Tiff & Frank’s wedding, Marcus being inspired by his mother’s death, Tina and the dying farmer’s market, Carmy’s conflicts with both Claire and Ritchie. All these threads will roll into Season 4, and Season 3 suffers from that.

PACING, FLASHBACKS AND TONE: FORM REFLECTING FUNCTION

HOWEVER. This being a ‘bridge’, character-focused season isn’t inherently bad. Individual episodes of The Bear still tear when they want to. Episodes 1, 2, & 3 are a very strong setup for the season and establish good momentum. Episodes 6 & 8 are fantastic character pieces, and 8 in particular made me bawl. Even the finale, though bogged down by masturbatory celebrity chef cameos, was a strong episode.

The problem is all the stuff in-between. The actual day-to-day running of the restaurant feels hollow and empty now. There’s a distance between the characters and it feels like they don’t interact as a group anywhere near as much.

Part of this is absolutely deliberate. People joke about S3 'method acting' its way into bad reviews to reflect the restaraunt, but losing steam and the connections between characters is genuinely a formal reflection of the kitchen crew's moods, as the day-to-day grind of running the restaurant wears them down.

The use of flashbacks in 3x1 is excellent, but Season 3 quickly becomes way over-reliant on them (episode 9 especially, oh my god). Again, this feels like a conscious choice to reflect Carmy’s state of inertia/the fact he’s perpetually trapped in the past. It makes sense, but that doesn’t give the show a pass for being boring, and 3x9 was the first time I’ve ever felt genuinely bored by this show.  

FUCK THE FAKS & NEGLECTING POC CHARACTERS

My other problems are much more clearly the fault of the show; I do not give a flying fuck about the Faks. Neil is cute in small doses. The brothers are great as soundboards for other characters; Theo getting Sweeps to talk about his backstory in baseball, the brothers comforting Donna at the end of 3x8 Ice Chips, or the haunting argument finally forcing Carmy to talk about Claire.

But on their own? When they’re just bouncing off each-other? These guys aren't half as funny as the show seems to think they are. And their scenes drag on so long. For example, the B-plot of 3x5 Computer wastes half of an otherwise strong episode with pointless fucking around, propped up by a pointless celebrity cameo. I do not Give. A. Fuck about haunting, Mr. Cena, why the fuck are you here.

The aggravating time-wasting is made worse by The Bear continuing to neglect and underuse its POC characters. This is the second season in a row where I’ve felt Syd only got the bullet-points of an arc. She is the LEADING LADY. Ayo is now the show’s biggest breakout star. USE HER.

I really enjoyed Tina's focus episode, but unlike Forks and Honeydew last season it doesn't move the plot forward, and unlike Fishes the flashbacks don't contextualize Tina''s actions in the present because she's barely doing anything in the present, despite the show setting up her struggles in the kitchen early in the season.

Meanwhile, Ebra got crumbs again and Sweeps got a single scene, which is tragically at least better than he had last year.

Marcus’ arc this year is a fascinating microcosm for the show’s themes, but it barely gets a second to breathe because we have to cram in another five minutes of the Fak brothers arguing about that time Neil got taped into a cardboard box. It’s ridiculous. And then they showcase Nat being all protective of Marcus in an episode he’s barely in, when she barely interacts with him. It feels unearned & disingenuous, using Marcus as a prop for a Hell Yeah gotcha moment.

I liked Josh Harnett though, that casting had purpose, and both Chef Terry and Luca were used excellently.

CAMEOS

The surprise celebrity cameos this year felt distracting and indulgent in a way last year’s didn’t. In Fishes the slew of cameos were a dramatic tool meant to disorient the viewer. This year, John Cena is here to distract you from how pointless this B-plot is, and we've brought in a bunch of famous chefs to tell you direct-to-camera why cooking and the service industry are so important.

The chefs in particular are bizzare after season 1 spent most of its time telling us how evil and toxic the fine dining industry is. But now it's actually just the fault of a few bad apples, and these guys are really rad actually?

CLAIRE

Much has been said about how Claire was an underwritten archetype for Carmy to project onto. Now, I don’t much give a fuck about shipping in this show, but it’s clear Claire & Carmy’s romance didn’t connect with most people. It felt hollow. At the time, I thought this was deliberate, like the tone and flashbacks this season; Claire’s writing reflected Carmy’s perception of her as a saintlike childhood daydream who could deliver him from all the stresses of his life.

But this season, not only does the show refuse to let Claire go, it doubles down on objectifying her as a prop for Carmy’s self-loathing, trapped in his memory.

Again, this might work thematically if I knew Claire as a person, or was at all invested in their romance, but I don't and I’m not. As it stands, the multiple extended flashbacks with Claire feel like futile attempts to plug the holes in Season 2's weakest storyline, and drag their episodes down. If we’re supposed to root for Carmy to find happiness outside the kitchen, this is having the opposite effect, and it’s made worse by it all being left unresolved by the finale.

Either do something with this character or move on, because right now every time Claire appears I clock out emotionally, and that’s not her fault, it’s the way the show treats her.

CARMY THE ASSHOLE

All this contributes to an overriding problem that I again think is deliberate, but risky; Carmy isn’t likeable this season. He causes his conflicts with Ritchie and Syd, to whom he has passed down his generational trauma. Carmy's menu is the biggest thing dragging the Bear into bankruptcy. Carmy has stopped working to resolve his familial trauma like in seasons 1 & 2, just as Nat starts making headway. He functionally doesn’t exist outside the kitchen, entirely preoccupied with the past & a girl the audience doesn’t care about.

Unlike previous seasons, the few times Carmy is called out for his bad behaviour he doesn’t make much effort to listen or improve. Again, I get that this is the point. Carmy is on a low, self-destructive ebb, and hopefully when things start resolving in season 4 he’ll snap out of it. But him dragging the show down with him has consequences.

EPISODE COUNT & FINAL THOUGHTS

A lot of people are saying that S3 only had enough plot for 2-3 episodes, and while I think that’s disingenuous- The Bear has always been a character-focused, vibes-first show- I do think it should've returned to the 8-episode count of season 1. You can consolidate the same amount of ‘plot development’ into fewer episodes while maintaining the deliberate sense of inertia. Cut back on the Faks and flashbacks to give more time to the kitchen crew, and many of the complaints would disappear.

Anyway, all this to say that The Bear season 3 is not Bad like some are saying, but it is a step down from its first two seasons. It feels like it’s got lost in its own head and lost a part of itself along the way, and while a lot of that is deliberate- formally reflecting Carmy’s internal conflict- it exacerbates existing problems (underwritten POC, Claire) and creates several new ones (celeb cameos, overusing flashbacks, unresolved plotlines) previous seasons were able to sidestep.

[zombee]

I feel like the luckiest Our Flag Means Death fan in the world after the season 2 finale. By a series of incredible circumstances - including a significant metatextual realization that came in at the 11th hour - it was close to perfect for me.

This essay has everything. Completely normal behavior over a television series. Steven Universe references. The David Jenkins School of Whatever is Best for the Bit. Humbling catharsis.

First: this piece does not exist with the central thesis of “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad.” I feel like thousands of words have already been written on this since Thursday, so I’m going to try to not get too in depth on that.

Second, cards on the table, because it’s relevant and I don’t want to waste your time if this is going to sour your ability to hear me out: I’m an Izzy Canyon hater. For MANY reasons, but from way before the concept of the Canyon existed, (some) Izzy fans pinged me in the same way as Snape/Kylo Ren fans did, and before May 2022 was over I went from genuinely enjoying Izzy’s character and place in the narrative to hating him because his fans made it impossible for me to enjoy him anymore.

(SOME! of his fans. Please don’t keep making me say this, although I’m not going to talk about the Canyon directly anymore after this. I know there are a ton of normal Izzy Enjoyers and even Canyonites, I am literally friends with many of them, please take this all in the good faith it’s intended and if you’re not One Of The Bad Ones then you’re fine! I very carefully don’t go anti-Izzy on main, and when I stopped enjoying his character, I stopped writing him into fics. I’m not trying to be a dick, I just want to be honest. Anyway.)

The season 2 finale made me weep over Izzy Goddamn hands.

ALL season long, I was disgruntled. All season long. I really, truly, DEEPLY appreciated what they were doing with his character and arc, I thought it was wildly on brand for the themes of community/queerness in the show, I saw the vision, I liked it!!! But. I wanted a fucking apology, yall. I needed three seconds of “sorry I called you a slur, Ed :/” and that would have been enough. But I had to let it go. It was poisoning my enjoyment of the whole season, which I loved with very little exception (not none!) and I just had to let it go. I wasn’t getting an apology. That didn’t negate what they were doing with his character.

Yall. They withheld the apology on purpose.

THIS FUCKING SHOW!!!

Let’s go back a bit. I was at the episode 6 + 7 screening, and the breakup shook me. Probably a LOT more than if I had watched it alone in bed at 3am on my laptop - five days of no sleep after NYCC, lots of emotions, seeing it on a big screen with a hundred other intense fans, etc etc - but I did see other folks reacting in parallel ways to me when the episodes aired to the regular public, so maybe I would have felt the same way. Regardless, I was mad at Stede and to a lesser extent Ed. I NEEDED AN APOLOGY FOR THAT FISH LINE. I needed it! “Whativah” autocorrects to “WHATIVAH” in my phone. I was going through it.

(When I rewatched the episode when it aired it was not nearly as bad as I remember, lol)

So now the episode 8 screeners go out and the reviews drop and I think I catch one half-glimpse of a “What a heartbreaking ending!” kind of snippet, and some of my friends who are spoiler fiends unintentionally drop little hints about similar ideas (devastating/heartbreaking/split the fandom) type shit.

And I was a fucking WRECK! about it.

I do love this whole show with my whole chest. I do!!! But I’m not rotted because this is an excellent television show, I’m rotted because two old men kiss each other! On the MOUTH!!! in an excellent television show. You get it, right? I’ve written 700,000 words across almost 100 fics and 98% of them are dedicated to those two men falling in love in different universes. 

So it just did not even occur to me the “heartbreak/devastation/fandom split” would be about anything but Gentlebeard.

Another piece of this that was fucking me up - David Jenkins and his “satisfactory” ending biz. My brain was reacting like this show was ENDING ending, even if I knew logically! that this is just season 2!!! And I wasn’t ready for that, because what if it wasn’t personally satisfying, and I’m a mess about it? Why was I so worried about not liking it? I’d liked the whole season! Even if they didn’t nail the landing I wasn’t going to stop writing fic or hanging out with my pirate community & friends. 

…is what I kept trying to tell myself, but the way anxiety disorders work is funny like that lol. What if I did stop writing fic and hanging out in pirate spaces? That would hurt much more than a show I like disappointing me. And for anyone who’s having that experience with ofmd s2, I’m so very, very sorry. It sucks and that’s where my epiphany came from on Wednesday before the finale.

Because it has happened to me before.

I flit from hyperfocus to hyperfocus, as ya do when you’re spicy, but the last thing to get its hooks in me PROPERLY like pirates was Steven Universe. And I did NOT like the way the regular season ended!!! (I actually really did like most of Future; that’s not what I mean. I mean season 5). I don’t like how they handled the Diamonds, tldr; I think the scope of their villainy got too out of hand, and I was left grieving the thing that had meant enough to me I ran a fan convention for four years based around it. 

Side note: imagine if I had channeled the hyperfocus of almost a million words of fanfiction into an American OFMD con instead. We could have made magic :( I did consult with Our Con Means Death though so I am at least a teeny tiny bit of that one!

I did not like the way Steven ended… but I do respect the story they were telling and think they told it well.

I’m still sad about it. Steven is still one of my most beloved, it will always be beautiful and great to me, but that experience did and does sully my memories. There is so, so, so, SO much more good than bad from being in that fandom, and I cherish it. And I hope, if you’re having this experience with OFMD right now, that you’ll find similar comfort.

But, like I said at the top, “it’s okay to not like something but that’s not the same thing as it being bad” has been belabored already by people better at writing about it than me. I just had the incredible privilege to remember my brush with lower case T trauma and having that experience in my last REALLY big deal fandom. That’s why I had been so extra anxious about being disappointed. Because it happened to me before. It helped so much to connect those two.

So the finale happens, and it’s actually about twelve hours of me going from “eh, rushed but fun, whole season was great” to “THIS MAYBE IS THE BEST SHOW OF ALL TIME, ACTUALLY!”

BECAUSE THIS SHOW MADE ME CRY OVER IZZY FUCKING HANDS!!!!

They literally told me this was the story they were telling this season. “Men can change” “The end  of piracy” “Ed leaving Blackbeard behind (ish).”

As for me? I didn’t get an apology for the fish. Instead, I got “Sorry I was a dick.” “You weren’t a dick. Life’s a dick.”

Just… fuckity BAM. THREE FUCKING SENTENCES resolving that fight. Saying so much in so little.

In real life, should these two men have an actual conversation about this shit? Sure!!! But that’s not how OFMD tells its stories!

It works in symbolism. It works in vibes. It works in an hour’s worth of content into each half-hour episode, and for how much lamenting I have done about the pacing, I would prefer that 100x to having to stretch it out too much.

I have said since March 24, 2022 that OFMD wields anachronism as a weapon. First and foremost, it’s fucking funny, but in addition to that, it’s stating clearly: “This is a fantasy world. This is not real history. This show is about romance (and so much more than that), and the rest is just VIBES!!!”

Sometimes vibes can be historical accuracy. Sometimes vibes can be true emotional poignancy. Sometimes vibes can be Ed finding his sunken leathers in the sea, changing underwater somehow, and coming out of the ocean like the Birth of Fucking Venus, because water and rebirth and mermaids and shit is all very prominent this season. And ALSO, and this is very important! BECAUSE IT LOOKS FUCKING COOL!

I don’t want to do much real Izzy meta here. It’s been said by others, and better than me. But it was telegraphed and it was symbolic – he was the paragon of Traditional Piracy in season 1, for goodness’ sake, and Traditional Piracy is Toxic Masculinity, and he was a part of Blackbeard and Ed had to leave Blackbeard behind (yknow, ish), and he got this ABSOLUTLEY FUCKING LOVELY! storyline about appreciating what a (queer) community can do, and god fucking shit fucking dammit… most of all, best of all (for me), was Buttons landing on Izzy’s grave at the end. Men can change. And Izzy DID!!! He did it for Ed. For love. For community. I am puzzled by “it’s fucked up to use Izzy to further Ed’s storyline” because… this was Ed’s season, in the way that season 1 was Stede’s. And Ed cannot be removed from piracy as a whole (neither can Stede!) so to have this old, set in his ways, coded-queerphobic character blossom to the point he can give this gift to Ed and to piracy… idk man. I just find it so fucking beautiful.

It is okay not to like what they did. It’s okay!!! It’s okay, and it’s okay to mourn, and while it’s not okay to do [insert vile behavior here], it’s okay to carefully examine what you think is “bad writing” vs “what you would have preferred to happen” and give good-faith, textually-based criticism on that.

But I want to remind you over and over and over again, this show works on vibes. It tells its stories leaving many, many, many gaps. There are many things I would have liked to see, and y’know what? I would have told the Izzy story differently. I would have personally done it differently. But it’s not my show! It’s not my show, and I am humbled and delighted to remember that, and to appreciate Our Flag Means Death for what it is and not what it isn’t.

Other words have been written better than I could about the 18 months between seasons 1 and 2 and what that does to us as rabid fans with expectations of how things will go. Millions and millions and millions of words have been written about OFMD, fictional and non, and that is going to color our expectations and experience. We had built it up SO MUCH in our minds and along the way I think some of us forgot (INCLUDING ME!!!) that it is first and foremost about Vibes.

The vibes of Izzy’s death are about rebirth and forgiveness and leaving traditional piracy behind. And he got to die in Ed’s arms, knowing (HAPPILY!) that he had been wrong, and giving Ed the gift of letting him know he is loved, and being a part of something. We had a funeral but we also had a wedding. The only constant is change. Men, piracy, Blackbeard; it all changes. And Izzy found peace in that.

Before my last point, I want to @ myself on things I felt versus realizing in the end it is (I will say it until I’m blue in the face) about vibes.

· I was convinced they left Buttons’ transformation ambiguous because they wanted to leave room for it not having been real. NO!!! It is real, until they decided it isn’t. Magic in the OFMD universe? Fucking why not!!! IT’S SYMBOLIC!!! IT’S IMPORTANT TO ED’S STORYLINE AND THE CENTRAL THESES OF THE SHOW!

· I was unhappy, and still am a little, about the Polycule Situation, but now that I realize Oluwande is Zheng’s Stede… I am less so. The Zheng : Auntie :: Ed : Izzy vibes, btw? Fuckin immaculate.

·        Obviously they touched on Stede/Ed’s “killing people trauma” but I’d reallyyyy like Stede to address it, and even though I think Ed’s is left on a very satisfying note, I’d like him to dip a bit more into it as well. But if they don’t, oh well! It’s not like they ignored it, they just didn’t have a Deep Dive like I Wanted Them To!

· They didn’t deal with Ed throwing Stede’s shit away. They just ignored it! Stede started to collect new trinkets, and I believe that was as much about giving the audience back the old feeling of the Revenge as it was anything important (not to say it wasn’t also important thematically!!!). Just like Ed going back to his leathers is both Extremely Important thematically and about putting Taika back in the leathers because that’s what Blackbeard should be wearing for the epic final scenes for the sake of visually keeping the show consistent. That’s Blackbeard’s uniform.

· Stede’s frilly little outfits my beloved. God I hope they give him back some of his frippery in season 3. I think they will re: cursed suit BUT his journey this season was about something else, so!

· Ed’s stupid little non-profit non-apology, oh my god. It was so funny. And there is a transition from eps 5 to 6 where Ed is back in his leathers and the crew is more comfortable around him. They didn’t have to have him do a Real Apology, it’s implied it was all settled. What was the timeline? A day? DOESN’T MATTER, BABY, VIBES!!!

· Lots more, I’m sure, but now that I’ve tried to let it all go, I’m remembering less of what I wanted and appreciating what I got!

And, last point here, I think it is also very very very important to remember that a lot of people are normal about this show. In fact, WAY more people are normal about this show than aren’t. And that is EXTREMELY! IMPORTANT!!! because otherwise it wouldn’t be profitable and we all know what would happen then. We are the core of it, to be sure. Without word of mouth that stems from our intensity, this show would not be NEARLY as successful as it is. I truly, truly believe that.

But.

Do normies need deeply emotional discussions dissecting the central relationships? No. What normies need is Ed and Stede running dramatically toward each other on the beach and kissing. And I am happy, so fucking happy, to realize that’s what I need too. I’ve got fanworks for the rest.

I love this fucking show and this fucking fandom and its fucking creators so much. Fuck.

[fynnlink]

Arcane doesn't need a THIRD season...

It needed THREE seasons

Arcane discussion / slight critique (obvi SPOILERS)

Alt title: "Arcane's character arcs: Tell not Show"

I'II preface this by saying:

1) Arcane, especially from a creative standpoint, is a masterpiece and testament to what animation and showcraft can be/achieve. The three year hiatus was more than worth it. Hats off to everyone involved.

2) I thoroughly enjoyed the second season and the finale. It hit all the right emotions and I cried laughed and loved throughout my viewing(s).

But 3) Despite my enjoyment of the entire series, there are a few issues I had with Season 2 and the ending of the series.

Now to the title: In my opinion (and despite my wanting one) Arcane does not need another season after the finale and the story can instead be carried on better/just as well in subsequent spin-offs (like the likely Noxian one). Instead Arcane could've/would've benefited from a runtime of three seasons with the story of Season 2 being split up into two seperate seasons.

Without further ado

Arcane Season 2 started off great, from the season opening with the direct and immediate aftermath of Jinx's attack using Fishbones (the rocket launcher), Cassandra Kirammin's gorgeous HAND-DRAWN funeral, to all the emotional and high intensity scenes with the Zaunites from Silco's funeral and the Jinx-Sevika-Isha found family/team-up, all the way to the first act's incredible conclusion with the Temple of Janna Showdown and the Discovery of the Wild Rune below the Hexgate. It had and was everything I wanted and wno et of all the writing I wanted and more, the animation, the acting, the soundtrack and most of all the writing.

There were certain issues which I'll get to in a second but Season 2 Act 1 was mostly solid writing and followed through on Season 1's excellently written explorations of oppression, police brutality, ableism, class divides and classism, racism and prejudiced bigotry and many other complex and importand real themes/matters. After Act 1 followed Act 2 and my first big issue and the entire premise of this post: another (albeit much shorter compared to S1 A1 to S1 A2) timejump. While this usually doesn't necessarily pose an issue especially since Arcane has successfully handled timejumps/skips in the past without too much "Tell not Show" (an inverse of the "Show don't Tell" trope https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ShowDontTell#:~:text=This%20is%20a%20writing%20or,book%20doing%20indisputably%20badass%20things.) which can lead to characters and storybeats feeling disconnected or the changes feeling jarring.

The multiple timejumps and montages rush a story that would've benefited from time and patience. I understand why these choices were made and the montages were creative and gorgeous, however there were too many in too few episodes.

The time between Act 1 and Act 2 of Season 2 should have been shown and not summarised into a montage.

Vi's arc and development into her in-game self (i.e an Enforcer) was incredibly rushed and underdeveloped ("Are we still Sisters?"-Jinx "Nothing is ever going to change that" S1 E9 | "My sister is gone. There's only Jinx now."-Vi S2 E3) and in many ways actually devolves/regresses upon her established character ("I grew up knowing I'm less than them. That my place is down there. I want Powder to have more than that and I'm willing to fight for it." S1 A1 "I'm the dirt under your fingernails, Cupcake." S2 E9) compared to season 1 Vi's character is or at least feels very reduced to simply one half of CaitVi, there's also no real follow through / no real consequences to Caitlyn's actions both as a Dictator General of Piltover and especially towards Vi. There was no actual apology from Cait (no, micro-expressions and withdrawing Jinx's guard does not make up for physical abuse) and the entire "Prison Cell - steamy edition" felt out of nowhere/weird (I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT CAITVI'S FEELINGS, THOSE WERE THERE AND ARE VALID AND DESERVE TO BE EXPLORED.) considering Vi and Jinx's interaction just before, Jinx's obvious suicidal ideation and Vi's unexplored trauma from her childhood spent in prison.

Same with Caitlyn being build up as a representation of someone who grew up privileged turning to generalised hatred and dehumanisation of others/"the other" when experiencing trauma (my phrasing is terrible but I'm referring to Caitlyn's turn towards oppression/fascism in response to her mother's death.) Caitlyn falls back into the exact same way of thinking that she denied/judged for example collectively referring to Zaunites as "Animals" despite rebutting these same words when Ekko said the people of Piltover look down upon those of Zaun, as well as Caitlyn calling Vi's blood dirty/tainted saying Vi has the "same blood in [her] veins" as Jinx after Vi stopped Caitlyn from endangering a Child's life as well as hitting Vi first with a stray bullet and then with the back of her rifle during an exclusively verbal argument. All before ascending to the position of General of Piltover during Martial Law and enacting collective punishment, restriction in movement and expression via military checkpoints and guard patrols, revoking Zaunites' right of assembly and peaceful protest and imprisoning most ("half") of Zaun in Stillwater without trial. Piltover even had to built a railcar system to keep up with prisoner transports to Stillwater opposed to S1's boats.

All this was built up only to have Caitlyn turn back after only one interaction with Vi. Supposedly Caitlyn had begun to doubt/regret the excessive and oppressive Noxian measures but apart from one scene of her disagreeing with Rictus' (Ambessa's second in command) "incitement of violence" at the checkpoint but still supported and expanded upon Stillwater (the exact prison Vi was kept in, even keeping the guard who all but confessed to regularly beating Vi during her seven year imprisonment, he even says he does it so often he "never thought to keep count") and even threatened to use cells and methods she knows and agrees are morally reprehensible.

Caitlyn's deeds as General should have been shown to the audience not just summarised into a short montage only to be glossed over. Instead of a complex and very difficult but incredibly necessary and in the end beneficial look inward for Caitlyn, Caitlyn's time and actions as a semi-dictator were glossed over because Ambessa was simplified into a pure warmonger going so far as to attack her own daughter and even Caitlyn cheating on Maddie with Vi in the cell is portrayed as less morally complex since Maddie completely betrays Caitlyn going so far as to try to shoot her to side with/support Ambessa's war (despite Maddie talking about reestablishing the Council in S2 E4).

If we had been given time with Caitlyn during her "#lowkey-Fascist-Era" especially if we had seen her temper cool and see her kinder side shine in more scenes in which she opposes Ambessa as opposed to one scene expressing disagreement with Rictus and later Caitlyn agreeing to Vi's comments regarding Caitlyn "sidling up with [Ambessa]", then this development and CaitVi becoming a couple again would have felt earned and well-written.

Instead of a comprehensive follow-up to Season 1's themes we got a "But TeAmWOrk GuYs!?" the Oppressed and Oppressors put aside their differences because of the greater / "real enemy all along"ᵀᴹ without Zaun seeing any reparations/improvements apart from one single seat at the same council that has oppressed them for decades/centuries. (Sidenote Sevika was immediately side-eyed and judged and can just get overruled by the remaining Council. États généraux, yes you get a vote but only one)

Yet we end the season with Caitlyn and Vi having sped past their issues and (Vi's) trauma to have a final scene in front of Caitlyn's fireplace with Ekko being shown to grieve Jinx more and Vi proclaim being the "Dirt" under Caitlyn's fingernails (they supposedly worked on that line for 27 hours).

Just to clarify I'm not saying Vi doesn't grieve but it's about what's shown and especially what is given time and here a CaitVi scene was more important than a scene dictated to Vi and Jinx's bond as sisters which was/should be the focus of the series. I'll probably make another post at some point about the Sister's bond taking a backseat compared to the relationships in Season 2.

In the end we were told more than shown why characters acted the way they did. With many interactions and moments of growth only implied.

Arcane would've benefitted from more time, maybe even a seperate Season, spent developing the characters to their final state and to give the series the time to deal with both it's arcane (*wink*) and human themes. And the ideal timeframe for this was in-between S2 A1 and S2 A2.

Many characters feels as if the audience had read the first and third book of a series without the in-between. And entire plot-lines and core themes were dropped/abandoned.

If you're still reading, thank you and sorry I went off on a ramble in the middle there. Again I'm not saying the season was bad and definitely not that you can't enjoy it (I liked it) just that it had a few missed opportunities.

[violent-viscera]

really hoping act 2 will explore vi character development, trauma, and perspective. i also wish that she will regain the agency, spunk, and purpose she had in season 1, act 1.

vi is my second favourite character (and makes sense with how much i love the story surrounding the sisters) but the writing of her character has been a little inconsistent; i am really glad to see other people acknowledge that here.

i think the way they've handled and nurtured jinx's character through all her trauma, pains, mistakes, and choices have been excellent but i want the other half of this sisterhood to make more sense.

i also thought the pacing for caitvi was a little bumpy towards the latter end of s1 (wish they built up the ship up more slowly) and the way caitlyn's hurtling towards dictatorship, becoming the figurehead for the oppression of vi's people with minimal persuasion, and actually hit vi makes me even less fond of the ship.

(and FYI while i hate that i have to articulate this, i don't want people to make any mistakes about my POV: i do want to see queer representation, i love vi and caitlyn as characters in s1, i like jinx as a character)

i just want to see vi given her individuality, motivations, and character back.

[i-like-arcane]

Arcane Season 1 Act 1 Review

As Arcane season 2 is coming out, I would like to post my thoughts on the series here as I have no one else to talk with about it. So here Goes

Episode 1: Welcome to the Playground

As a first episode, upon first viewing this appears to be a normal start to a regular teen/ YA fantasy show. It's well-animated, well-voice-acted, with good action and characterization for these characters we are getting introduced to for the first time. The soundtrack is great as well. In terms of story, we are introduced to these stones that will play a big role in the future of the series, as well as the main villain by the end of the episode, providing an intriguing enough plot hook, if somewhat ordinary. For this episode, I would rate it a 7 or 8 out of 10, with the animation providing a big boost. If you're not a first-time viewer, however, details that you didn't notice the first time around will pop out to you, such as Powder's hallucinations already being present in the intro, as well as other foreshadowings to future episodes and story points. On a second watch through with the context of the series, I would say it is a straight 8/10.

Episode 2: Some Mysteries Are Better Left Unsolved

The concept of Magic and what the stones are is made known to us in this episode, as well as introducing the other half of the cast that belongs to Piltover, with us spending a majority of the episode there, while still going back to the Undercity. We get more characterization for our "main" 4 kids, with Vi's boxing and Powder tech and Shooting skills getting further spotlight. For the villain, Silco we get 2 more scenes with him which are excellent, in my opinion. We also see Vander losing control of the undercity, showing us that people want change, as represented by Sevika. In terms of our topside characters, Mel, Jayce, and Viktor are great. I like Heimerdinger as well. The endings of the episode with the scene between Jayce and Viktor and the scene of Vi preparing to surrender are great scenes. Overall I would say this episode is an 8 or 9 out of 10.

Episode Three: The Base Violence Necessary for Change

A 10/10 Episode. The Jayce and Viktor storyline isn't as present but is well done. The meat of the episode is the Zaun Storyline, where things come to a head. Vander is taken by Silco, with Deckard killing all the enforcers except Marcus, and Vi sees it all. We see more signs of Powder's instability with her mental breakdown. And there is a conversation between Silco and Vander where we learn their backstory and relationship. But the most impactful part is the last 20 minutes or so, starting with the rescue attempt and ending with Vi being taken away. and Silco taking in Powder, creating Jinx. I can't describe the impact this episode had on me, but this is my favorite overall episode of the season, and the best episode of the show.

Overall: Act 1 gets a 9/10

The best characters in the Act are Vander and Silco.

Powder's and Vi's relationship as children is shown to us, allowing us to see where they will end up

The deaths of Clagger and Milo were impactful

Jayce and Viktor, though not present in a lot of Act 1, show the beginnings of compelling characters in this season at the very least.

The most consistent Act in terms of quality in my opinion.

[markantonys]

a few more bridgerton thoughts! i've always been only a casual enjoyer who watches just for a few hours of fun and doesn't get super invested, but even so, i'm still feeling pretty underwhelmed by this season so far. i watched it in one sitting and enjoyed it while it was happening but just immediately forgot about it as soon as i was done. maybe all the memorable moments are going to be in the second half of the season, but for these first four episodes, i feel like it was all just kinda bland and forgettable (granted, of all the romance tropes in the world, m/f childhood-friends-to-lovers is just about the #1 most boring one to me, so this never would've been my favorite season regardless)

i adore romance and romcoms, always have, and am pretty happy to watch The Classic Marriage Plot play out a thousand times, yet i feel like bridgerton is maybe becoming TOO formulaic and repetitive. although, to be fair, i WAS giggling and kicking my feet during all the Classic Romance Scenes, but the problem was maybe just that there weren't enough of them, which brings me to my second point of too many subplots. too much padding and filler and not enough Classic Romance, which is what i'm here for.

8 hours is way more time than is needed to tell 1 love story, so to fill up the time they invent 17 random subplots that are ultimately pointless and have little relevance outside of the current season. i would way rather a season be only 4 episodes but tightly focused on the main love story, or that a season be about two siblings and two main love stories at a time, than have all this extra time they need to fill up with random unimportant shit. why have we had 3 seasons' worth of storylines about benedict having one-off non-endgame girlfriends that don't have a lasting impact on his character development? what's the point? he's been treading water for so long that i'm not even going to care about him anymore by the time he finally comes into the spotlight, and same with eloise. god, the thought of eloise's season potentially not being until like 2027 is insane. it's past time to start picking up the pace and doing 2 siblings per season!

and the kicker is that all these subplots, which were only invented to fill up the time, end up filling too MUCH time and taking away from the main love story, which is left feeling underbaked. this sort of happened last season, but it's way worse this season. penelope is an excellent character, but her back is breaking from trying to carry the season because colin is kinda giving us nothing due to lack of narrative attention given to him as an individual. he's supposed to be the co-lead, yet i couldn't tell you a single personality trait of his besides "vaguely nice" because he's just had no development and exists more as a prop for penelope to love than as a fleshed-out character in his own right. there was that whole scene where violet was talking about how he's a people pleaser who focuses on making others happy at the expense of his own wants and happiness, and i was just sitting there going "he is?" because i didn't feel i'd ever gotten to know him enough as a person to see this trait in him.

i also think the "dropping a season in 2 halves" model is just about the worst possible release model. if you drop 1 episode a week, that's constant engagement and allows for longer time to digest and appreciate each individual episode. if you drop the whole season at once, it's all over too fast but on the flipside you can experience the entire story at once without risking forgetting things or losing interest while waiting for new episodes. but dropping in two halves a month apart is the worst of both models (over too quickly yet also makes you wait too long to finish the story).

i do like some of the subplots, though. cressida getting to be more than just a mean girl caricature has been a particular highlight, the mondrich family going suddenly from working class to noble is interesting to see, and as a mega-introvert myself (and a music lover!) whose ideal partner would be someone who's happy to sit in silence with me, francesca and john's whole vibe is THE definition of romance to me and has me absolutely swooning (and it's a nice change of pace from all the loud dramatic romances on this show). violet potentially finding new love is also very sweet and i'm rooting hard for her! meanwhile i am not a fan of the featherington subplot; after s1 portraying regency girls' lack of sex education as a serious issue, it feels.........odd for the show to now be playing that very same thing for laughs this season and it just kinda makes me uncomfortable.

but otherwise there isn't much i dislike about the season, it's just kinda "meh" to me so far. the second half might turn things around if it's more memorable!

[the-thursday]

Ranger's apprentice OC Rowan Marlowe

Name: Rowan Marlowe

Fief: Deywis fief

Ranger number: 19

First appearance: The Early Years - as one of the rangers that come back in book 2. (Age 22)

(lore and map under the read more)

Rowan is ranger of Deywis fief (on the map) ever since first war with lord Morgarath.

Rowan was apprentice to ranger Edward Thorpe, whom he first met when he had to untangle the ranger from a fishing net. Half of Rowan's family is in the fishing business on the east coast of Araluen.

He is a casual friend with Crowley Meratyn whom he knew ever since being apprentice.

A few years after the first war with Morgarath (Age 26), Rowan is sent to investigate the situation in Seaham fief, as Seaham doesn't have a ranger yet due to the lack of rangers after the war. The Seaham fief is a small fief east of Caraway, neighboured by Carnforth fief to the north and Deywis fief to the south. The Seaham fief struggles due to sudden surge of skandian raids and economic damage of the war. It is run by young baron Eiric Bowburn and his sister Aisling Bowburn. The baron of Carnforth fief, lord Cuthbert Galloway, is greedy and ambitious man who sees the struggling fief as opportunity to gain more power. He bribes bandits to plague the fief and tries discredit Eiric and prove him as incapable baron to the king Duncan. Rowan is sent there by Crowley to investigate the situation and together with Eiric and Aisling, the young ranger helps to uncover and thwart Cuthbert's plots.

Rowan and Aisling start to fall for eachother but they struggle with relationship across fiefs and Rowan himself still struggles with unresolved feelings from his breakup with the knight of Caraway castle, Cynric Blaiddwell, with whom he had relationship before being forced to leave Araluen when Morgarath was gaining power.

After the second war with Morgarath (Age 38), Rowan is tasked by Crowley to track and bring to justice one of Mortgaraths important lieutenants, Ransford Crayke.

Rowan tracks Ransford deep into Scottia territory, however, along the way Ransford murdered a little child of southern Scotti clan because he wanted to steal a horse. Upon tracking down Ransford, Rowan kills him in fight but not before being injured by Ransford. One of northern Scotti clans members with deep resentment of Araluen and rangers, happen upon dead Ransford and injured Rowan, and take the ranger captive, planning to execute him in their village.

Rowan escapes but due to being in harsh northern unknown, without equipment and weapons and still suffering due to his injuries, he eventually collapses and blacks out. He is found by southern Scotti clan warriors who went north to hunt down Ransford, who murdered the child of their clan. They know Rowan is innocent and that he actually killed Ransford and they take him to their village and nurse back to health out of honor and obligation but they do not feel very warm towards the ranger himself. However, as Rowan is gaining strength and heals, he makes friends amongst the clan. By this time, Cynric who went looking for him, arrives and together they leave for Araluen.

After MacHaddish's raid on castle Macindaw (Age 44), the tensions between Scotti and Araluen rise and Rowan is sent as negotiator due to his knowledge of land, language and people from his time in Scottia.

---

About the ranger Rowan Marlowe:

Rowan is of calm and analytical nature, he tends to be more quiet than loud but isn't gloomy or too withdrawn and doesn't hesitate to smile or laugh.

He is rather competent with standard ranger weapons and equipment but isn't much of a fighter. However he is an excellent tracker and thinker and often he is assigned missions by Crowley that fit these strengths.

He rides a smoky black mare called Spring, whose name doesn't have anything to do with season but rather the dance like spring she sometimes does when about to start walking. Spring has a bold manner of sticking her head in your cabin window if you fail to remember to close it.

---

Aisling Bowburn:

Aisling is clever and inquisitive, but measured and not an outward rebel, however she doesn't hesitate to show her displeasure and disagreement. She is a great singer and indulges in simple dresses and hunter outfits both. Aisling is good horse rider and wears a dagger, but it mostly serves as a tool as she isn't a fighter and avoids violence at all costs.

Due to Seaham being a rather small fief and her kind nature, Aisling makes sure to know people of the fief who love her and her brother in return.

Eiric Bowburn:

Eiric is the official baron of the Seaham fief but he often lets himself be heard that the fief is run both by him and Aisling. He is dyslexic and due to this, Aisling often helps with paperwork too. Eiric loves music and if he has his money to spare he often invites musicians to play at village surrounding the castle so it can be enjoyed common folk as well. Eiric is kindhearted like his sister with mischievous spark and would do anything anything for Aisling. As well as his sister, he also tends to know and help people of his fief. He is a good swordsman but prefers spear for its longer reach.

Cynric Blaiddwell:

Cynric is a knight of Caraway fief and one of MacNeils former students. He was born and grew in Deywis fief where met with Rowan, but moved to Caraway for his apprenticeship with MacNeil.

As apprentices, Cynric and Rowan met and became friends and eventually started dating. Their relationship cut short badly upon Morgarath gaining power due to differences in opinions and Cynric's tournaments fame. Cynric wasn't supporter of Morgarath but he and Rowan didn't see eye to eye about staying in Araluen or doing something about the whole Morgarath situation.

When Rowan came back to Araluen in TEY2, they could be friendly with eachother but there was a lot of tension and unresolved emotions that didn't really help. And after the war, they both went to their respective fiefs and didn't have a chance to talk for a few years.

Cynric is of cheerful but also rather emotional nature and is known to be prone to occasional outbursts.

Cynric is a very good swordsman and rather excels at jousting which earns him a lot of fame, which was one of the reasons he and Rowan broke up, due to them not knowing how to handle it.

Edward Thorpe:

Edward was Rowan's mentor. He was of a wild and energetic nature. He was a very good bowman, being rivaled only by Pritchard with whom he often bantered and the two of them often had ridiculous and silly beefs.

He only had one apprentice, Rowan, whom he met by being rescued by him from a disastrous fishing net.

---

A map for locations reference. Map is based on work to John Flanagan however I worked a bit loosely with coastlines, expanded Scottia/Picta for my plot needs and added locations of mentioned fiefs.

[spotlightlowlife]

Where the hell is everyone?

Not my usual post but something stood out to me, the views on these shows.

Figures declining is normal, only the drop seems quite a lot and I can't help but think that the characters ( so obviously the writing) deserve the blame.

Oops and Mammon's mid season at this moment both have approximately 26 million views, however, the mammon episode has 13k more comments dispite Oops not only being almost 2 months older, but

it being an episode we saw Fizz, Ozzie who we hadn't seen for a while

we saw Striker and Crimson again

most of all, this is the one where Fizz and Blitzø made up AND we learned what happened

there's no Stolitz in either of these or IMP

no IMP or Stolas at all in the Mammon episode

Now take into account that these two episodes are VERY episodic, following straight on from the event of the other with the setup of Mammon special only being possible because of the outcome of Oops. This gave Oops excellent rewatch value, I know I rewatched it (and found hypocrisy and possible retcon)

So though both are Fizz x Ozzie episodes and both let us return to the plot, the Mammon episode definitely did the Oops episode a massive service. Since this was the third Fizz x Ozzie episode and they existed in attached at the hip each time, we have only seen Fizz without Ozzie's presence in flashbacks childhood or as a robot, Ozzir without Fizz hasn't really been a thing.

It would be interesting to see them outside their ship but then again, Fizz no longer has his other job and isn't Blitzø's adversary anymore, there appears to be a crush element in this relationship too and Ozzie has been neutered as a businessman and the embodiment of lust itself, the two of them currently have the looming threat of Mammon and whatever he's planning over them. All this is fine, they're side characters but it really shows how much they're carried.

Now, fast forward and the next two episodes have half the view count, even though we have

the main cast back

Loona's voice actor is back

Stolitz drama

the return of angels, D.H.O.R.K, Verosika and some sinners we know

most of all, a curveball with the Stolitz transactionship ending and Blitzø having another option to run business

To add to this, the shorts become a thing around the same time as these episodes, they offer freedom to show the characters working and feature extras, so why are the first and second 12M and 13M views? Why aren't these 5 minute shorts surpassing episodes that take 4x the amount of time to watch?

Furthermore, the last episode to do as well as the Mammon special that made Oops episodic was the episode where we met Crimson and Millie and Moxxie's somehow shared (yet how was this relevant) ex Chaz, which gave us some of Moxxie's background, his meeting with Blitzø, a mobster theme and some action for Millie to flex her skills again with no dialogue needed up against characters who don't matter. This episode also has approximately 26M views, released 6 months prior to Oops, yet sat in between these two episodes are three more

the one were Striker would return, abducted and injured Stolas, in addition Millie and Moxxie would get their freedom to work without Blitzø and Blitzø would face a frustrating social issue of taking his daughter to a long overdue medical appointment, but at 22M views

Unhappy campers, the announced 'Millie episode' which also allowed us to also meet Barbie in the last 5 minutes at the end with no build up, it took us to Earth, give us no human designs for the main cast and give Millie an opportunity to flex without dialogue to no names who don't matter

the LONG AWAITED season one finale that got blocked, featuring Kesha! Playing on of the princes of hell! Featuring one of the most catchy songs to date. How did this get caught up in the plateau at just 23M? Surely it bought a number of dwindling viewers back to what we all missed out on? Surely it has a high chance of rewatch value because a lot had happened since?

Is it that the main cast and 'nice' villains aren't holding attention?

The second episode of season two had Octavia, who we hadn't seen in a while, run away. We got to see Earth, we got to see Stolas's human design, Stolas's interactions with his estranged wife and daughter, there were unnecessary and odd because of how the episode started and where they left off last time we saw them Stolitz moment and we got to hear Octavia and Loona speak.

This has just 2M more views than (episodic) Oops but is 11 months older.

At just 5M more views and 3 months older is the season premiere (so expected to do well) where we get a shared backstory for Stolas and Blitzø,

their cute childhood selves, some of Stella's story, we meet Blitzø's dad, we meet Stolas's dad, we see their transactionship start and a massive step in neutering Stolas.

I'm quite sure people liked him when he was the creepy, easily dangerous rich guy who held the operation of Blitzø business and maybe even his life in his hands and I'm quite sure 'humanising' him by having him realise he doesn't really know his daughter was a fine addition to his character, villains don't need to be in the wrong every time we see them.

In other news, Stolas' song 'Just look my way' may have 19M views (well done I hope they're genuine) but the song Clown Bitch from two extra we may never see again has more views than 2 minute notice, which is from the much loved Fizz,

it even has more views than Poison from parent series Hazbin Hotel, the song of an actual lead character Angeldust and this track has a remix.

There's reason I bring up Hazbin. Is it a coincidence that between the Mammon special and the next episode of Helluva, the long awaited Hazbin hotel that made it big and streamed on Amazon aired in its entirety, in that we would meet further neutered down characters who hold hire rank than those in Helluva?

The fact that we meet the leader and owner of hell, Lucifer the devil himself and he's a fun, sarcastic sad boy authors pet who did nothing wrong, let's blame another (breeder) wife and mother who's absent from the story for whatever reason yet to make matters worse, he isn't even a lead, his totally underwhelming 'nice girl' daughter is along with her friends.

Here's how watering down the powerful along with making them 'nice' comes into play and harms the plots.

Charlie ranks higher than Ozzie and gets to rub shoulders with sinners and call them her people without issue

sinners are higher than imps but imps as good as make sinners, Blitzø's whole business is to kill humans, many of which become sinners who are then seen as vermin who need to be wiped out, yet sinners are above imps, so are imps punching up?

Charlie is above Ozzie, Bee is equal to Ozzie and her relationship with a hellhound is just fine, we totally miss out in an overlord in an inappropriate power balance relationship with someone who could have been in one of the dog pounds she signs off on

where's the controversy in 'Blitzø and Stolas done better' Fizz x Ozzie, where Ozzie is loving and affectionate, doesn't like love potions and now doesn't like coersion and lusting after his mans image? There is none, no scandal or consequence, their drama is all personal issues, who is Ozzie, the leader we have spent the most time with to answer to? Not Lucifer who's welcome to hang out with his daughters sinner friends dispite condemning sinners as a waste of time the last time we saw him. Who cares, everyone is 'nice'

When we met Mammon he was met with a load of hatred and this was clearly the desired effect, there was so much that people could lazily project his way, and look how well his episode did. We actually got an excellent representation of ruthless and adaptive business and leadership with a lack of morals and genuine interest. I'm guessing this character was essential in seeing hell thrive.

King Paimon's introduction should have been a much bigger deal, it's bad enough that he went from from shapeshifting and manifesting in a mirror, not remembering this particular child, spending the day with Stolas through the mirror to stood beside him with no introduction, but we learn that he has many children and that he sets Stolas up with an arranged marriage.

So there is a hierarchy, there are people doing business with one another, there are those to answer to, there are numerous high ranking families. Why was the heir (Octavia) important? Business merger? Prophecy? We can only assume he set Stolas to work at a young age, encouraged his (unfortunately now lost) classism by giving him his own place, no family closeness and servants to toss about and we can only assume it's the same story for all the other children. King Paimon is not one of Lucifer's circle of seven but where does he rank next to him?

Both seem to be great candidates for a devil in charge. I'm sure there are numberours people who would discuss this but would be drowned out by those who will only give these characters the time of day blame them for 'being the reason Fizz and Stolas were sad' in the same note as dumped upon Stella and "supremacist" Striker another two who just happen to actively move the story forward.

Chances are plenty of people are too nervous to admit amongst the drowning out to liking any of these characters for fear of being ganged up on, but it seems that the 'good' characters, the fun and nice characters with power and the leads who we are to follow and just 'like' aren't cutting it really. Their stories are lacking.

There's a good chance that noisy fanbase fanning out, crying all over Twitter, attacking people full time and wanting to see hookups and representations are getting their fill amongs themselves. They make the shows seem more popular than they are because these people are chronically online and engaged in the discourse of attack and defend, rather than really following and discussing the story, coming back to it and taking interest where it is needed. As much as writers are online a lot and get to see the love and hide behind and encourage attack dogs, fandoms are contained and not good to write for, fandoms do their own thing. Any reasonable person, a critic who likes, one who doesn't care for and one who truly hates a story can do what a blind loyal person and one who's more invested in fanbase can't, which is offer feedback.

Looks like there's a silent majority of people who are here for the story, don't care for the digressions too much and are falling out of interest in the main characters. No doubt the silent majority are still waiting on things to improve, first of all by returning to the standard set in season one.

[oneatlatime]

A Precariously Stacked Pile of Random Season 2 Thoughts

These are notes I took as I watched the season. Usually after I’d already posted about the episode in question, and I thought of something I would have added to the post. Rather than edit them into my posts, I’m rounding them up and posting them all at once. As such, they are vaguely chronological. Unfortunately, because I made the notes legible to me and me only, I didn't bother to write down what episode I was referring to. I've also added some notes in as I was editing these notes. So this is also a bit of a scavenger hunt. Enjoy!

Iroh poisoning himself: dumbass moment or 5D chess?

My autocorrect corrects “Sokka” to Sock, and “Sokka’s” to socks. This causes double takes when editing.

Badgermoles have excellent eyeliner. Is that where the Kyoshi Warriors get their jaw dropping cat eye?

Why is Ty Lee spelled Ty Lee and not Tai Li? Why is Dai Li spelled Dai Li and not Dy Lee?

Sometimes Sokka makes me think of Mulan. Am I crazy?

Are the swampbenders’ moves based on a real martial art style too?

Why didn’t Aang use his swamp sense to locate Appa post-appanapping?

Where did Toph, who spent her whole life as a prisoner of her parents’ house and a moonlighting WWE wrestler until Team Avatar busted her out, get such emotional intelligence?

Why did Zuko’s dad put forward the plan to disinherit Iron in favour of him less than 24 hours after Lu Ten’s death? Why did he think that moving quickly was the right approach? Does the Fire Nation not do grieving periods? In what world was 'strike while the iron is hot' the correct course of action here?

Looking back, I’m amazed that season 2 didn’t end in Zuko’s redemption. I didn’t much like Zuko Alone, but I was sure that a season that included that much set up for a Zuko redemption arc would prioritise finishing that arc.

I haven’t even met this Firelord guy yet, but I am peeved that that twerp has a name as cool as Ozai.

Why haven't I met that Firelord guy yet?

I really thought that the older brother character in Zuko Alone would make an appearance later on in the season, giving Zuko a chance to flex some newly acquired morals. But the parallel to Lu Ten and the general message about the evils of war lands better if we never hear of him again.

Zuko in the first half of season 2 had me so annoyed that I was incredibly uncharitable to him in my write ups. Reading through some of the stuff I wrote while watching episodes, I kind of wince now. Zuko in the second half of the season was much less annoying. Which I feel bad for saying, because he’s clearly not in a good place in the second half of the season.

I would love to know why the writers decided to have Toph and Iroh meet in the wilderness. I think it’s a good choice, but I want to know how they came up with it, and why those characters? Is there anything about Toph (especially at that point, when we’ve known her for 1 episode) that suggests that she and Iroh should meet? Or would get along if they did?

Zuko has so many rock bottom fake outs this season: Zuko Alone? Nope, he gets worse in The Chase. The Chase? Nope, he gets worse in Bitter Work. Bitter Work? Nope, he gets worse in the finale.

I’m still peeved that Azula won a 6 on 1 showdown. Sorry, but that breaks immersion.

I bet the Blue Spirit could make lightning.

If water is the element of change, why does the Northern Water Tribe have such strictly defined traditions? I get that it's literally the element of change, in that water can exist in different physical states, but shouldn't the metaphorical interpretation also be true?

I like that Toph can think like an Airbender sooner than Aang can think like an earthbender.

What is Sokka’s boomerang made of? Is it metal? Because if it’s metal, does that mean that there’s a blacksmith somewhere in the South Pole? With a forge?

I still can’t get over how dumb the whole eclipse plot was.

Suki is TINY!!!

I mocked this guy’s 80s aerobics video leotard aesthetic, and I stand by that mockery, because this guy is ugly. Those colours are awful. But do you know who else has those colours?

Jet this season fascinates me. He’s positioned as genuinely repentant and legitimately seeking a second chance and I don’t believe him for one minute. Why don’t I believe him? This show has a theme of learning from mistakes and doing better, so shouldn’t Jet be a perfect fit for this show’s themes? I should be primed to believe him. And yet I don’t.

I have to applaud Iron’s enthusiasm for their new life in Ba Sing Se. A lot of that cheer (at least before the tea shop) is put on for Zuko’s sake. I don’t know where Iroh gets the energy to keep trying with Zuko after years of minimal results, but I’m glad he does.

I think Aang and Ty Lee should hang out. They have similar circus energy. Or maybe it’s that they’re the only two characters in the show so far who are remotely playful.

Aang = surface silliness, core of calm. Not that the silliness doesn't run deep, but he seems to have an untouchable anchor of calm deep within that rarely gets disturbed. Gyatso raised him well.

~~*~~*~~*~~*~~Poetry bouncer ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

I need next season to have more Appa & Mono subplots à la their escapades in The Swamp. Not à la Momo’s Tale.

Tales of Ba Sing Se definitive ranking: Momo Aang Sokka Zuko Iroh Katara & Toph

I love that Momo still sleeps in the Momo bag from The Blind Bandit

Are Suki and her warriors sitting in the middle of some Earth Kingdom forest in their underwear?

So are Smellerbee and Longshot just done? Will they be back in season 3? What happens to their life now? They are known associates of an enemy of the state who was just executed. It doesn't look good.

Everyone on this show has big ears. Zuko has the smallest ears simply because he has the least amount of ears remaining. But everyone else? Big ears.

Can I have more Gyatso? I forgot how cool he was. More Guru too please.

Hakodilf.

Everyone in the SWT has such wonderfully fluffy hair.

I like Sokka’s boots. Southern Water Tribe boots in general.

If this is the grand total of the SWT, I have some bad news about population dynamics.

Is there a proper naval term for what the SWT are doing? They’re a stealth strike force that seems to be going after individual enemy ships, using both direct and indirect tactics. Not pirates, because as far as we know they aren't going for FN supplies. They're doing what submarines do, but above water. There’s got to be a proper name for that.

Is there a raft of FN corpses chilling in the waters in front of the NWT's big wall?

I saw ATLA described as a show where all the characters are Asian-inspired people of colour, but isn’t Suki a blue-eyed redhead?

I had no idea that you could decline an Agni Kai. Zuko should have done that.

Why are the Dai Li so in love with Azula? I get that they're pissed with Long Feng for getting arrested, but wouldn't the logical choice be to direct their loyalties to the Earth King rather than a wildcard princess? I'm not going to pretend for a minute that the Dai Li are loyal to the Earth Kingdom or to Ba Sing Se, but the Earth King is a known quantity. Seems to me that it would be easier for them to re-puppetify him, rather than a FN princess.

Katara & Zuko bonding over their missing mothers is the same “makes sense until you think about it for five seconds” as Song & Zuko bonding over losing their fathers to war. Technically the same, sort of, on paper, but actually kind of rude to equate them once you know the full story. Same with the parallel between Lu Ten and the older brother in Zuko Alone. The proper dead mom parallel is Katara and Jet. Although Katara doesn’t object to the Zuko comparison, so I have no grounds to do so.

I’m really glad that Katara didn’t remove Zuko’s scar with her spirit oasis water. Both because she kind of really needed that water, but also because one thing this show has always done right is permanence. No quick fixes, no fake outs, no take backs. Lu Ten is dead, and he stays that way. Princess Yue is the moon, and she stays that way. Half a dozen people’s moms are dead, and they stay that way. Aang is the last Airbender, and he stays that way. Zuko is scarred, and he stays that way. There are no hand waves, no easy fixes. All the characters can do is learn to live with it, and go forward. And I’m grateful the show is like that, because that permanence, as well as being a good lesson to learn, functions as a reward for audience investment.

Aang did come to a crossroads of destiny in the finale, chose his duties to the world over his friends, and got aggressively slapped down for it. I have a feeling that he’ll take the wrong lesson from that, since he was already inclined to shun that path.

Overall Season 1 was prettier.

Ty Lee was the cause of more than one Beat Up Sokka Quota fulfillment this season. Make of that what you will.

Will Zuko & Azula spend season 3 bouncing between the FN and Ba Sing Se? They could be heavily involved with establishing the FN governance over Ba Sing Se, since the city is already inclined towards royalty.

Favourite episode this season? The Guru. The Blind Bandit and The Swamp are tied for second place.

[consistentlyamess]

Wild Sweetness ⎮ Prologue

[1.4K]

pairing(s): luca x fem!oc MJ

summary: MJ has just settled in after opening back up a bakery in Chicago when some unexpected news

warnings: not much so far, takes place after season 3, 18+ , MDNI, swearing, eventual smut, second chance romance, pining, slowburn, flashbacks in italics, lmk if i missed anything!!

A/N: heeelloo!! this idea has been sloshing around in my head since i watched season 2 and started working on it while waiting for season 3. comments, likes, reblogs are appriciated as always or just come chat at me! And as always 💜💜💜 TY for reading!!!!💜💜💜

Fic Masterlist I Previous Chapter I Next Chapter

‘Well, well, well, look what rhubarb season dragged in!’ 

‘Morning, MJ’ Marcus greeted with a big, bright smile.

‘Please, say, you have some coffee for me!’ 

‘Not even a ‘good morning’, damn, you must really be tired.’ 

‘I’m sorry, I stayed up reading again and drank two glasses of wine, so now I’m tired and also a little hungover because somewhere between re-opening the shop and last night I also became an old lady.’ Marcus laughed and shook his head. 

‘You’re not an old lady, but you do need to get out more.’

‘Weird, I don’t remember asking that coffee with a side of unsolicited advice.’ 

‘Careful, chef, you might not get the coffee either if you keep being a smartass.’ Marcus quipped back with a cheeky smile but also handing her the takeaway cup.

‘Oh, you’re a godsend, my friend.’ She took a sip and sank deeper into her place behind the counter for a second. ‘So, what's the agenda today?’ 

‘You said it: it’s rhubarb season. And we’re changing the menu.’ 

‘Excellent! Let me grab my jacket and we can go! Lucy’s is already on the fresh croissants.’

‘Hi Lucy!’ Marcus bellowed so she can hear him in the back.

‘Morning Brooks!’

‘Still no first name, huh?’ 

‘Told ya’, you gotta earn it!’

‘Be nice Lucy, I’ll be back in the afternoon!’ 

‘Got it, chef!’  

Marcus and Marjolaine (just MJ for him and most) have been doing this routine for almost a year now. With a changing of seasons came the changes of the menus and so they went out looking for inspiration. And that looking always started at the fresh, seasonal ingredients. Rhubarb was one of MJ’s personal favourites and she couldn’t wait to indoctrinate the young pastry chef. Managing a bakery could become a nightmare sometimes but having someone like Marcus, a soothing, calming presence was something she couldn’t have imagined her life without at this point. The first time Marcus wandered into the shop, they were barely open. Chairs were missing and wires were hanging from the walls but MJ set up a little stand outside. First he thought it was a little weird, operating on half-capacity, if that, but while he was drinking his coffee he asked her and it turned out to be quite the trick. 

‘Look, we've been at this for months now, right? Renovating, drilling, sawing, equipment coming in, equipment breaking, equipment coming in again. We tore down a fucking wall for crying out loud!’ She threw her hands, for emphasis and Marcus started to suspect that maybe this flare for the dramatic was some kind of common theme with people who were brave - or crazy, jury’s still out - to open a restaurant. 

‘Tell me about it.’ He said, reminiscing about Fak and Richie screaming at eachother. 

‘Right, and they know nothing about who I am, what we’re gonna do here, we’re just annoying and inconvenient as fuck. So, I thought, let’s just show them! The kitchen is almost up and running, I can also do some of it at home, some french press, some fresh pastry, bamm, nice neighbourhood bakery girl!’

‘Allright, I see you, nice bakery girl! That’s actually pretty fire.’ 

‘Well, why thank you! And while we’re at it, can I ask, where this inquiry is coming from.’ 

‘Oh, shit yeah, sorry! Hi, I’m Marcus, I work at The Bear, just down the block and I’m the pastry chef there.’

‘Sussing out the competition. Clever. Hi, Marcus, I’m Marjolaine. Yes, it’s a french name, no you don’t have to say all of that every single time. Some people call me Margie, some call me Margot, anything goes. And this place here’ she said, gesturing behind her like a circus presenter ‘is going to be the Wild Sweetness, bakery and breakfast place.’ 

‘Wow, that’s a lot of info in one breath chef.’ 

‘You don’t have to call me chef.’

‘I have to call you something, till I figure out my name for you.’ 

‘I just gave you like 4 options.’ 

‘Yeah, I know, but I want something original, welcome you to the hood properly.’ 

‘Yo, boss!’ 

‘One sec Tony! Duty calls Marcus but thanks for the chat, I hope I’ll see you around!’ 

‘Bet! Come check out The Bear sometime!’ 

‘Will do!’ 

And from then on it became a habit. Even after the Wild Sweetness opened properly, Marcus almost always started his day there. It took him about 3 weeks to come up with MJ. ‘The hair and the whole vibe. There’s something very MJ-ish about you. Comic book MJ, not movie MJ.’ 

She took it as a compliment and got to be known around The Bear as just that, MJ from the bakery. 

‘Do you have any ideas yet?’ she asked as they were walking to the market. Well, the first market that is. There was a whole routine now to the whole operation. Start at the Sweetness, since MJ was renting the flat above the bakery, but Marcus insisting that no, you’re absolutely not firing the coffee machine just for this, i’ll grab it on my way, check Frank’s, two streets down, he usually had one or two rare fruits or a new guy bringing homemade jam, so it was always worth a try. Also Frank was a staple of these mornings, in and of himself. Without fail, without a hitch greeting with a gravelly and grouchy ‘You kids are goin’ to be the death of me I swear, who wakes up like this, ass crack of dawn on a Saturday, unbelievable! Now, come on in, I got somethin’ to show you.’ Rough cut man with a thick Chicago accent, who was a real fiend when it came to very niche, hearty jams. After Frank they usually headed for the markets, browsing for hours, trying some things then getting some lunch. 

‘I’m not sure yet. A compote feels too on the nose. Rhubarb and strawberry, while a classic for a reason also feels played out. Something about, like. a deconstructed rhubarb crumble keeps popping up in my head but nothing else.’

‘Ouh, I like the sound of that. Have you talked to Carm about it?’ 

‘Not really, he’s been in a mood lately.’ 

‘Lately? I feel like he’s always in a mood.’ 

‘Yeah, fair enough.’ 

‘What’s been going on? He’s still in over his head?’ 

‘Yeah, I don’t know, I feel like he’s just, I don’t know, like he’s just stuck. He thinks that pushing himself harder is always the answer, you know?’ 

‘Yeah, I know people like that.’ 

‘Yeah, and you just can see that he’s not getting enough sleep, not talking to his people, meanwhile Nat is home with the baby, and I get it, failing is not an option but he just doesn’t need to throw a fit over how tape is cut, you know?’ 

MJ snorted a laugh. ‘Yeah, I get you. And yeah, if being hard on yourself worked, it would”ve worked by now, right?’

‘Fuck, yeah, exactly.’  

This morning in particular has been a little slower, a little quieter than usual. Marcus talking about Syd in a hushed tone while they walked from stand to stand, one she recognized immediately. She wasn’t going to meddle. Not in this anyway, but she felt for the young chef. A crush that was going nowhere. There was something so brave and defiant about the whole thing though. Holding those feelings, stepping back and still trying, still keeping an eye out for when maybe his number gets called. But it was also noticeable how he got a little quieter, a little more soft-spoken since his mother passed. 

‘You guys had that tiramisu on the menu a while back, right?’ MJ asked while looking for some peaches. 

‘Yeah, we did.’ 

‘Well, how about something in that direction? Maybe not mascarpone but something with heavy cream, make it light, little lemony, infuse it with rhubarb, ladyfingers soaked in strawberry liquor, something like that.’

‘Okay, throwing this out like it’s not a big deal. That sounds pretty fire actually.’ 

‘You give me too much credit, it might not work.’ 

‘Maybe, but you always set me on a good path, even if it’s not, like, perfect.’  

‘Allright, now you’re just sucking up.’ MJ said with a small laugh. 

They keep browsing and first she doesn’t even notice that Marcus gets lost in his phone for a minute.

‘Oh, shit!’ he exclaims, so suddenly startles her. 

‘What’s up?’ 

‘Yo, this is so cool! You remember that pastry chef I staged with in Copenhagen?’

‘Luca, right?’ 

‘That’s him! He’s coming to town! He’s taking a sabbatical and he’s coming here, to check out the restaurant and shit, yo, this is so cool, you guys can finally meet!’ 

‘Well, how about that.’ 

[ladyluscinia]

Hi there! I just read your meta about how Izzy knows the real Edward and not just Blackbeard, and that got me thinking… why does Ed tell Stede he doesn’t have any friends? I’d initially chalked this up to Izzy only wanting to be friends with Blackbeard, but if Izzy knows and is loyal to the real Ed, why doesn’t Ed consider him a friend?

Hi! You just stumbled on one of my favorite things to talk about that now I get to add S2 context to, so thank you!

Ok... Edward & his total denial of friendship. There's the big reason - which is completely divorced from the reality of any of his relationships - and then there's the smaller, related reason that I'm not even sure Edward is fully aware of.

Reason #1 (the big one) why Edward says he doesn't have any friends is because he's having a depressive breakdown in a bathtub when he says it.

It all comes back to the fact Edward hates himself, which was fairly clear in S1 and now made explicit in S2. Specifically in 2x03. Which, in a season full of excellently timed flashbacks and echoed scenes from S1, still contains the single example that made me leap from my seat in pure vindication.

When Edward tackles his conjured Hornigold to kill him, before he realizes he's in the gravy basket, we great a great line...

"It all boils down to this. You're afraid you're unlovable."

...followed by a set a flashbacks that feel chosen specifically for me 😌

Edward killing his dad, with the voiceover "I'm not a good person Stede..." cut to Izzy's destroyed laugh right before Edward left the room in 2x02, and then cut back to the bathtub from 1x06 to finish "...That's why I don't have any friends." Stede affirms he is Edward's friend and then it ends on the crew's mutiny from 2x02 and the absolute darkest point of Edward's depressive spirals so far.

That is literally an explicit connection I couldn't have dreamed of in the S1 hiatus.

Because, like... Edward's whole thing is that he's been on the edge of drowning under this lifelong struggle against depression since we met him. He does fundamentally believe in his darkest moments that he is monstrous and poisonous and no one could ever love him, but it's not a logical belief. He's not making an assessment of his relationships as he sees them, he's voicing his self-loathing and depression.

And the parallel between "I don't have any friends" and "I'm unlovable" is soooo crunchy because we know for a fact the second statement is just depression talking. Not even just Stede! Edward spends the first two episodes actively resisting evidence to the contrary in his spiral because it hurts too much - Izzy blatantly confessing his love didn't break through, it just got him shot for trying.

To go back to the bathtub in 1x06, Stede's affirmation there wasn't any more effective than Izzy's confession in S2. It gets Edward to get up out of the bathtub and pull himself back together, but the very next episode opens with Edward getting antsy and trying to leave before Stede can reject him. In 1x08 he's still half-waiting for Stede to notice there's something wrong with him.

Edward always has a little dark voice in the back of his mind saying that Calico Jack isn't his friend, and Izzy isn't his friend, and Stede isn't his friend... but it's Edward's voice. One he'll have to fight against forever, one that will sound really persuasive in his darkest moments (like when he's in a bathtub admitting its source out loud for the first time in his life), but also one that is lying.

So... that's the big reason.

Now, Reason #2 is a bit more nuanced - Edward is really repressed.

This is pretty much entirely the fault of Reason #1, but it is technically a different thing. Because Edward hates himself and has a flawed perspective of all his relationships, he instinctively holds himself back from them to some degree.

This kinda gets into the whole Izzy vs Stede thing, because Edward has a very small collection of interests and desires that he shoved into a small box as things he didn't deserve well before becoming a pirate (due to both mommy and daddy trauma), and then he never brought those things up with anyone close to him. Until he met Stede, who was basically the walking embodiment of several of those interests/desires and a person who Edward uniquely did not have a script or baseline for interacting with, so he ended up doing the reverse and diving into exploring all that as the core of this one singular relationship.

Which has left him very unbalanced.

Like, he's not wholly engaging in the relationship due to fear of rejection either way. There's nothing intrinsically healthier about letting Izzy know all his ugliest bits or Stede know all his most hidden emotional vulnerabilities. And the fear of rejection in both cases is based in his depression / conviction he's unlovable, not evidence that Izzy would react poorly or whatever.

But if he was capable of evaluating his relationships objectively, he might have felt a little like even Izzy who knew him so well wasn't as close of friend as he truly desired, simply because he puts away that box of things around him. Only... Izzy doesn't make him do that. That box was probably put away before Izzy even met him.

And like... Edward can feel his feelings about Izzy not knowing the super important emotional things he wants him to know, but it's still on Edward for not even trying to tell him.

(This got longer than I meant it to, lol. Anyway here's my hiatus post where I'm nice to Calico Jack on this topic too.)

[123ohwell]

LEVERAGE SEASON 2 GRIFT TRACKER

I have learned how to edit a draft post! So this was much easier not having to do it all at once lol

No new jobs just clarifications added on the jobs list. I didn't attach the parameters/rules/notes I used to judge this cause Tara's graph put me at the 10 photo max. If you want to see the parameters they are on my Season 1 Grift Tracker post (idk how to link a post in yet)

Enjoy!

Fun Facts:

- Eliot won the most grifts

- the crew did 2 grifts where everyone played the same role this season

- Parker and Hardison grifted together a lot in the first half and Hardison and Eliot grifted a lot together in the second half

- grifting was calmer than first season people were trusting their character

- shit ton of Damsel grifts

S2E1 : Very few grifts. Nate did the whole con with just using his connection as Jimmy's kid and shockingly not doing anything wild

S2E2 : one of my fav episodes! I find Sophie's distrust and disgust of chicken fried steak hilarious 😂 I make it homemade like every month or so lol. Parker and Hardison have now done 3 grifts in a pair in a row

S2E3: This episode fucked me up when I first watched it. Crazed Maniac doesn't apply in this episode because they are going for faking an epidemic. Sophie broke her One Grift Per Episode Streak!

S2E4: one of my fave episodes. Nate's hair kills me. Parker and Hardison do 2 grifts together

S2E5: does it count as Hardison breaking his no Crazed Maniac grift streak for the season if he's playing a full blown tinfoil hat and not doing forthedrama? Also I am now thinking I should have been tracking faked deaths separately than Damsel

S2E6: Magicians fall under Actress. Love everyone trying to trade jobs and Eliot complaining that no one wants his

S2E7: I put the crew at "Sophie's" funeral as Actresses bc Sophie was being Katherine who was her alias for he Sound of Music actress and they were playing her friends. Just got to the end of the episode- why does it say Sophie on the headstone when the funeral was for Katherine?!?!

S2E8: well y'all we hit the point where my mom saw my excel on my laptop and asked what I was doing. It's official Hardison is back on his DraMA with The Iceman plus him taking credit for Parker's reputation

S2E9: well now I forgot to update this as I went 😅 oh well now we get this by memory. Tara has joined the crew and has gotten a page on my excel workbook. I love her intro

S2E10: it was awful trying to pay attention to the wildness on this one plus I fell asleep. Lol rewatched it and it went well 👍

S2E11: and Nate pretends to be his dad. This is the most notable Dopple grift this season, but there has been several

S2E12: Eliot and Tara making a man cave with no words lmao I put it down as Mob bc idk

S2E13: Tara is a good grifter and tends to keep with the character, also I agree with Parker that dude is awful

S2E14: Eliot plays baseball! Hardison has calmed down the word vomit grifts slightly but he definitely still has chaos as default tho

S2E15: great season finale! Parker hanging Tara off the building. Eliot counting down. Sophie coming back. Hardison committing to the grift