#the safe house is going under
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#help#im not funny#please#frank frankly#frank x eddie#eddie dear#the safe house is going under#pepper x sugar#pepper#pepper von sweets
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Wondering if there will ever be a game that will match the original Black & White's (the PC game) aesthetic and gameplay.
I think part of what made it stand out as a god-game was the early 2000's imagery and I wish it would be taken into account in the case of a spiritual sequel. The early 3D tech gave it an uncanny, dreamy atmosphere.
Black & White was/is delightfully eerie and cozy to me since it had this combination of soothing, though a bit unsettling, ambient music (Russel Shaw is the actual god here) and overall weirdness of all this empty air between the player and the small, rough polygons such as the people and the Creature you manipulated around. It did feel god-like in a way.
Lionhead hit a good, strange and niche note with that game, in particular, and it was mostly lost in the sequel.
#commentary#anyways i'm going to peter molyneux' house and going to jump up and down on his bed late at night#when he thinks he's safely tucked under his blankey#and i'll also be banging pots and pans right above his head
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we need to kill everyone at sm entertainment
#you know how i said i didnt want to elaborate on RJ’s bbl messages#because i would go on a tangent about how sm doesn’t protect their artists#yeah well imagine how i felt when i saw them made him apologize for that stupid ass shit#like really making your artist seem like the bad guy when he has psycho bitches invading his privacy#for 2 seconds of attention#not even positive attention btw#like can you imagine getting calls from random crazy bitches when you’re just trying to live your life#ppl who aren’t supposed to have your number#freaky ass fuck#but no they dont gaf how that makes him feel#they aren’t even imagining it#brainless fucking cunts#and even worse the company you’re under is doing bare minimum if even that to keep you safe#or to even make you feel some semblance of safety#like genuinely evil as fuck#it doesn’t even end with that#ppl crawling through vents to see hc#breaking into his fucking house like maniacs#like bitch are you out of your rabid ass fucking mind#company taking forever to address hc/jn’s scandal#which was false btw#and you have their unintelligent fucking fans believing the shit immediately and throwing photocards out like they killed someones mother#over something they couldnt even wait to see was true or not#bc if it’s in a headline it must be true right#wrong#but that’s an entirely different issue#honestly all of this just goes back to how kpop companies market their artists as like minimum 5 sublevels below human#not just sm#which is really stupid like you’re grown as fuck shivering shaking throwing up at the IDEA of your idol getting pussy#like he’s grown asfk
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i may be obsessed.
#her name is tenka but everyone calls her brandy#(warden nickname she earned in her early days due her unbreakable record of being able to drink ANYONE under the table)#her mother was banished from orzammar when she fell pregnant with her (long story very sad and dramatic and lowkey personal)#and while she was pregnant she was cared for and eventually fell in love with a gentle blacksmith from a small ferelden village#who her mother married (taking his surname) and who raised tenka as his daughter#she was a young child during the fifth blight and their village survived unscathed w the exception of some food shortages and trade issues#nothing life shattering#but she had heard of the darkspawn from her mother's stories about their family's history and they were her boogeymen#her monsters under the bed#but her parents reminded her she's smaller than all the other children and that's her strength. she's brilliant at hide and seek.#the darkspawn didn't come during the apex of the fifth blight but after#some lone grey warden had been staying at the inn that weekend. said something about looking for someone#now when the darkspawn came tenka Hid. her father was outside. her mother had already gone to the market. it was still morning#they said they wouldn't get in the house. it got very loud and then very quiet. and they got in.#she burst from the cupboard and ran to her father's smithy but she was only a child and when a darkspawn axe raked her back she collapsed#into the rack of blades she had been reaching for. these were her monsters and she was bleeding so much and her parents were missing#and she was so scared so so so scared. between fight and flight it was always flight and she had nowhere left to fly to#another graze of the blade across her chest as she scampered back made her scream and that's when she saw rowena#her uncles and cousins from her mother's stories never felt like heroes due to what they did to her mother but when she saw rowena hack#down her monsters piercing through them valiantly like light through the crack in her dark bedroom door#with her mother and father right behind completely safe and sobbing and relieved and Alive#she had never looked up to someone more#see rowena got a lot of things wrong but brandy is exactly what she got right#only two villagers died. farmers. it had been but a small darkspawn raid. but she saved a girl. saved a family. saved a town.#rowena stayed in town while tenka recovered (most likely to ensure she didn't contract the blight) and tenka adored her every move#she knows nothing of rowena's struggles. knows nothing of rowena's missteps. nothing of the constant reminder of mortality in her head#just that she's her hero. just that she wants to be exactly like her.#she joined the wardens young with a kiss to her parents goodbye and never looked back even when it turned out to be harder#in ways she'd never imagined. but she was immovable. a force of will. she was dauntless and daring and it was her idolization of rowena#that inspired her and kept her going. where other wardens cracked no amount of hardship could break her. it was almost Smug
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i really like the concept of Percy outright hiding someone in his flat during the war but like it doesn't fit well with most of the people I ship him with
Like the ones i could actually think of that would benefit from it are mostly ones that would be too young to really be having much happen between them during that year
which im not saying the situation can't be just platonic because that is fun too
Like with Oliver it loses out on what makes a forced proximity fic fun to me because of them having already roomed together for years so there's no like weird phase of having to get used to the other being around and having to learn to live with them
similar situation for Penny honestly they've already been together so while i do like the idea of her staying with him its not as fun for a ship set up to me
Marcus doesn't really have a reason to be staying with him, like he could but he's not going to be in a life or death situation if someone sees him so it doesn't have the same like flavor.
Stan is fun i think if you play with him being imperioused and Percy somehow breaking him out of it or something and having him stay with him after that could be fun. Hiding him to keep him from getting imperioused again or worse outright killed
plus then you get to play not only with the fact he was in Azkaban and effects it had on him as well as the trauma of anything that happened while he was under
which is fun
#percy weasley#why is his house safe?#we are going to say he is smart and decided to lay down protections and such#i think probably at first to keep his family away like maybe after Molly tries to stop by he decides to put them up just to avoid them#Stercy#Stan Shunpike#People who choose to believe that Harry was wrong about Stan being under the imperious make no sense to me#His story is so much more interesting if Harry's right vs Stan being just yet another random death eater#like why would you want the boring option i really don't get it#like its a vague thing so it's not like your wrong or anything but#i think it's a boring choice to make when we already know so many death eaters#Elise's Thoughts and Concepts
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my constituency is officially a labour hold, green second majority
#i voted green (and i’m glad that wasn’t buried under a slew of right-wingers) but our labour mp is decent tbh#he’s actually one of the few that has been outspoken in his support for palestine#and has spoken out on several other issues including environment and education AND trans rights#so i’m hoping that he will continue to do so#we also had a woman running on the (transphobic) women’s party and an independent running on a pro-life platform#both of whom got hardly any votes#i moved house last year and my former constituency remained tory (predictably as it’s a safe seat)#but the same mp that has just been voted back in SAID THAT HE WASN’T GOING TO FUCKING STAND#uk politics
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accidentally* brainstormed a very complete outline for chapters 4-8 for eih, which should theoretically take us through Part 1. which is. you know. a godsend or whatever.
*accidentally meaning i was just eating delicious pancakes and the thoughts happened. usually its me crying screaming and shitting myself in front of an empty word document where ideas manifest. this is notably much more pleasant.
#that alone makes this weekend a good one#i also bought (leased) a new car yesterday!!!#which is exciting for me because i've been driving my first car for 16 years#even though its a base model its still SO much more advanced#hello how did i live without a backup camera of this long#also like. carplay. and auto windshield wipers. and keyless entry/start. and adjustable steering wheel#AND its electric! kinda. (a plug-in hybrid so has both engines but can run on only electric)#i've finally joined the 21st century#although tbh i thought my first car of my adult life may be something bougie. a BMW or some shit#alas i grew up to be too practical. so i bought a prius. because of course.#listen i live in california and wanted to go electric for forever#alas elon shat the bed by being elon so a tesla was an absolute no go#its funny like... you know that most of your customers for these cars were well-off environment-conscious liberals right#i've seen a tesla with a bumper that says 'i bought this before i knew elon was crazy'#which. like. yeah. fair#other fun events from last week. there was a fire super close to our house and we were in the evacuation zone#which is like. wow. i know its been dry and windy but i never thought it would actually happen HERE#everything is okay and we're safe and it was put out really fast#but definitely gave us a pause and made us think about whats important (our cat. everything else is replaceable.)#but another reason this weekend is good: it RAINED. last night and today.#listen i've been... extremely extremely extremely sad the past week#because of everything. because of 'allowance' of ice agents hospitals and thinking about what i would do and risk because FUCK THEM#suffering isn't moral and doesn't help anyone. just trying to find a way to help my community#and three nice things happening AND just hearing the border fire is under control...#its going to be okay. it really is.#anyway this post is about FANFICTIOn#fun fact i started looking into numerology that has to do with ying-yang#which is helping me decide on how many chapters per 'part'#its clever and unnecessary but makes me happy so whatever#chapter 4 of eih is ~2k works now as a mostly-outline
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Jason's grave: Little Tim Drake in his spare time going to Jason's grave and talking to him, and leaving flowers he picked himself from the gardens of his parents manor. One day when he's feeling really numb about his parents being gone again, he goes to Jason's grave again and ends up sitting near and talking to him for a while. Maybe he ends up falling asleep and Bruce or Dick finds him there?
tim drake stopping at jasons grave once a week to make sure theres fresh flowers there bc it hurts everyone else too much to visit..... pain and agony
#tim prints out every picture he takes of dick and bruce looking stupid and leaves them under a rock on jasons grave#when he feels guilty for how happy he is with the waynes he apologises to jasons grave#after jason comes back and things become chill hell go there anyway and complain about what jason does#jason finds him there once and is like 'yo....wtf?'#and tims like 'at least ur headstone doesnt have any dumbass commentary'#and then they carry his headstone back to jasons safe house to use as a coffee table#time drake#jason todd#darkcrowprincess#askbox
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bearded dragons look like they would be such good cant move much buddys
#cuddley ✅️ need warm ✅️ idk how to put 3 other things into words ✅️#i would get it 1 those fancy bird carries and turn it into a mini enclosure and bring it with me (if is safe)#(theres a bearded dragon by my beloved house that she cant adopt but i want him sosossoso bad i call him acorn)#rip i have so much time and am not bothered by gross feedings or bugs and love uncharismatic animals and enrichment and doing#mundane pet caretaking stuff so much#im at the point of not being able to move very much that im losing my mind and am physically alone most of the day (doggy naps under bio#moms bed ubtil she comes home)#the only downside i see is walking for food/water and cleaning the cage and thats easily worth it for a little guy to me#especially seince im probably going to get a mobility aid in its lifetime and i know that whatever i get will have to leave my hands free#chirps#acorn you will proably never know that i exist but i love you and i hope that you have an amazing life with whoever adopts you
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haha ignore this i need to vent
i'm so fucking done i'm so fucking mad at everyone i'm pissed at my cousin for fucking me over i'm pissed at my clients for being fucking idiots i'm pissed at my city for NEVER HAVING WORKING FUCKING TRANSIT i'm not okay i'm so not fucking okay and i don't even have my fucking headphones bc they fell out of my jacket in my cousins STUPID FUCKING CAR THAT I BASICALLY PAY FOR BUT GOD FORBID SHE DRIVE ME HOME so now i get to spend over 2 hours (after i've spent 3 hours on transit/waiting for her this morning) on public transit to get home WITHOUT my music and my clothes are ruined with cat hair from my clients today so that's fucking great and OF COURSE everything in the fucking city is delayed bc WHY WOULD WE MAKE ANYTHING EASY FOR ME NO ITS FINE ILL JUST FUCKING SUFFER TO MAKE THINGA EASY FOR EVERYONE ELSE BECAUSE GODFORBID I GET TO CATCH A FUCKING BREAK
#no i'm not okay#i'm fuckimg crying on a train#that's on the LITERAL OPPOSITE END OF THE CITY FROM MY HOUSE#i spent just under 3 hours working today#and i'm spending over 5 hours getting to and from work#i'm so fucking done i'm so sick of being alive#holy fucking christ can ANYTHING not be fucking shit!!!!!!!#i hate being alive!!!!!!! i don't want to do this anymore!!!!!!!#and i can't even fucking kill myself bc god forbid the people in my life be sad#they can't lose me but they can fuck me over constantly!!!!!#god fuck i'm so fucking sick of this#i need a fucking break#humans aren't meant to work this much and im going to start actually commiting violence about it#tw suicide mention#personal rambles#ignore this#i'm just being too sensitive 🙃🙃🙃🙃#i'm just Letting My Emotions Control Me 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#disclaimer i'm safe i'm not actually at risk of hurting myself at all i promise#i just wanna die but i'm not gonna do anything
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#(( ooc. ))#venting tw#negativity tw#gonna try to do some writing today but motivation is real low.#i guess that's what happens when you get called stupid useless and lazy to your face by someone who then expects you#to bow and scrape and wait on them hand and foot#and also now im expected to pay the electric bill on top of doing all the housework. literally all of it. in a home of 3#fucking adults. and bow im also the one having to handle a lot of maintenance work around the place on top of keeping#it spotless bc no one else 'feels like doing it'#and the whole time i get to be insulted and told that im fat. stupid. lazy. while im cleajing up their messes. and fixing stuff for them.#and doing a bunch of cooking bc they get pissy if i dont also feed them on top of doing literally all the housework. and maintenance work.#and also now being expected to pay half the electric bill. again house of 3 people. and im not even allowed to take a hot shower when i need#to in order to get the pain spikes under control from yknow. flaring up my fibro from overworking myself CLEANING AND TAKING CARE OF THE#DAMN HOUSE FOR THEM#bc it takes too much electricity. the electricity i mostly paid for last month#sorry i needed to get that out#suicide tw#abuse tw#not me debating offing myself bc theres no end in sight and no way out and i cant keep going from one abusive situation to another#and just trying to survive. almost 30 yrs old and ive never once felt safe or at home anywhere ive ever lived. not once. in almost 30#years have i ever felt safe. or like im my own person. or that im valued. or wanted. or listened to. not once in almost 30 years#have i ever felt like im actually loved (wanted) beyond my usefullness.#shit sucks man. anyway sorry for the spam of negativity lately. im not trying to be a downer.#gonna go hang out in my inbox for a while and see if anything pops out that my muses wanna jump on 🤞
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not-quite-poetry
the day wolf and night cat : by crazycaoscormpop/crempuff95
Once upon a time, there was a cat and a wolf. A big strong prideful wolf, who was never quite full. A little weak unloving cat, who could never fix themself.
The wolf ate and hunted, while the cat protected the home during the day. In the night the cat would go fruit looking and eat, while the wolf protected the home. During the winter, the cat need not do anything but stay home and wait for the wolf to bring food.
Though the cat slept instead of protecting the home, this made the wolf angry. “You have to protect the home while I'm gone.” demanded the wolf. The cat said nothing and just nodded its head. When the wolf left the next day it found nothing, and returned home to the cat asleep. The wolf had no other choice, it would be long before he found more food. The cat wouldn't even know. So that moment the wolf, instead of lunging and making show, he simply took a bite. Then another, then another, until all that was left was a pile of bones. That night the wolf slept alone, not knowing how much they would miss the vibrating warmth underneath them. The wolf sleeps with a full stomach every night now, but an empty heart.
#this is gayboys but I didn't want to say that#the safe house is going under#im not funny#art#please#poetry#poets on tumblr#gay boys#wolf went#om nom nom#aggressive love#is sad boys#yummy yummy boyfriends#don't eat your cat husband#don't be a dick to your wolf husband#rocky musical#Jayson bellay#GAAAAA
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I NEED TO MOVE OUT NOOWWWWWWW
#i woke up at 3 pm bc this was my 1st day ‘off’ in forever#and when i went to grab something to eat our back door was fully open and my car was nowhere to be found#cat*#so i freaked out and started looking outside but when i realized she wasn’t there and my roommate also wasn’t recently outside#i knocked on her bedroom door and she was like ‘oh sorry i was asleep do you want me to help look’#YES i want you to help look what are you talking about#eventually i found her bc my cat is the best girl in the world and never left our yard- she was in the crawl space under the house#but not only am i pissed she let my car out then took a nap#but we don’t live in the safest city in the world and while we were both sleeping our door was fully 90 degrees open#so now not only do i feel like kevin (cat) isn’t safe here but I don’t feel safe sleeping here anymore#the lease is up in july and i finally get to leave#this girl is a random roommate my former roommate found to replace her#and the whole process/experience has been awful#i just have to survive 4 months#during the summer i might keep paying rent but fully leave and go live with family#bc my school isn’t in driving distance of any of my family#now i’m thinking about asking someone if they’ll take kevin for a couple months bc im so sorry about her#but my dad has a dog that doesn’t love cats and my best friend is allergic and my mom lives in another state#personal#delete later#also this is unrelated BUT every weekend without fail she does laundry at an insane time in the morning#and our washing machine is the loudest washing machine i’ve EVER heard#and of course it’s right against the wall of my room#not hers#i only get two days a week to sleep past 630 am and she almost always ruins it
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#my digestive issues are literally under the most control they have ever been in my life and they are still ruining my life#woke up fine today. went to a coffee shop. had to leave after an hour#i had so many plans for today and now i'm stuck at home because i can't be too far away from a bathroom#i didn't eat anything that would trigger this. my gut just hates me i guess#earlier this month i have a risk food but i thought i took enough precautions to be safe and it fucked me up for like#2 weeks straight#i wonder what its like for people to not have to wonder about bathroom access every time they leave the house#i wonder what its like to eat normal foods without calculating how sick its going to make you#i wonder what its like to not have entire plans tossed out the window for reasons beyond your control#fucking sucks man#i hate ibs#in exchange for my terrible gut i do have a fantastic immune system somehow but weirdly that means i never take time off work?#ok so i am so good at just managing my issues that i just power through whenever im sick.#it's not like i can afford to take time off whenever i feel sick anyway and besides once you have to take multiple AP tests in high school#while in the middle of an episode you grow a lot of tolerance for being functional while sick#but then. i just i could have excuses to take days off because i have a cold or something. get a rest every now and then#but what illnesses i get beyond digestion issues are so slight that i can just. power through. i am never ill enough to take time off#and i get so worried that one day I will need that PTO that I can't convince myself to use it for like mental health days and ugh#this is more of a personal problem than anything but still. i wish i got sick like a normal person
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love and peace to you, today I’m practicing the tumblr ritual of saving everything to drafts to reblog later because I’m currently lacking in self to express
#csm site I use hasn’t update with the new chapter yet… have heard horrible things and am excited#have you guys heard about the new speaker of the house? he’s awful. legitimately scary. I want to move out of the us.#Fundie Fridays and Some More News both did videos on him#fuck american politics#my thoughts#meposting#personal#vent#sometimes I forget that I’m not having a good time in my living environment.#wondering why I feel so empty and unacceptable while I’m living under an ultimatum to either (re-)closet myself or move out#and like… I can’t isolate myself but I also don’t want to subject my friends to my company bc. I don’t feel good.#I’m having a hard time feeling present and pleasant and thoughtful. and I want to be a better friend than that.#and I’m backsliding on my communication and boundary-setting skills too bc I feel less safe. I’ve. had my trust betrayed by the ‘rents ig#so now I feel like I did when I was younger — that I exist for others rather than with. which is scary.#loss of perceived control over myself my relationships#sorry for the overshare it’s something I’m very good at doing and do often. world champ!#fuck… think I’m going to go up to stay with my aunts for a couple extra days I’m tired of feeling stuck here
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we’re no contact so it’s like. whatever but will admit there’s a complicated feeling coming up about my stepsister (only in the most technical sense) wishing my dad a happy father’s day + him being like “thanks kiddo” about it
#she’s a couple years older than me + he only came into her life when she was like 25#so it’s not like he raised her or whatever y’know?#not that that matters like she’s entitled to whatever relationship she wants with him but it’s a bit. stinky considering the dad he was to#me + my brother#it’s just kind of a bitter pill to swallow#it’s the same way we’ve talked about his funeral and if we’d go#+ i don’t think i could handle standing there while everyone went on about how great he was#when he wasn’t at all#anyways. happy for her that she got a seemingly good father figure just a bit bummed for me that i got one#that routinely threw furniture around the house + yelled so violently that i had to hide with my brother under my bed to feel safe#and that he never called me kiddo but did call me every other name under the sun + did nothing but traumatise me for years#well. it is what it and what it was :-)#personal
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