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nellie-elizabeth · 2 years ago

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Grey's Anatomy: Thunderstruck (19x06)

I'm sorry, but I'm pretty underwhelmed and exhausted all at the same time. I'm going to have to search hard to find anything nice to say about the vast, vast bulk of this episode.

Cons:

So like. Meredith is leaving the show, and this is how they want to send her off? What the hell? Everything about Meredith's departure has been treated so bizarrely and like they can't make up their mind what note they're trying to go out on. She's moving because of Zola, fine. But now her house has burned down? Why? What's the point of kicking her one more time with yet one more terrible tragedy, on her way out the door? The Grey house is an iconic setting for this show, so I suppose they wanted to mix things up and do something dramatic here, but it honestly feels so shoehorned in and unnecessary. We're also having to deal with Nick and Meredith drama, because Nick doesn't know whether to follow her to Boston, or else stay put in Seattle to take care of the students he's just starting to train. I obviously do not care about Nick at all, he's boring as sin, so the idea that we might have Nick still on the show when Meredith is gone is truly the worst of both worlds to me. Yeesh.

The author story with Tessa, a fictional Seattle children's author, was way too over the top. She's full of wisdom and knows she might die, but wants to live because she still has more stories to tell in her soul or whatever... give me a break. They were leaning so heavily on how tragic it would be for her to die, that I was pretty sure she'd be safe, and indeed she was. I didn't hate the idea of this character conceptually, I just think someone needed to turn the dial down on the "inspirational older lady" setting. I also found Lucas to be particularly frustrating this week. He chokes during a surgery and is asked to step aside so Simone can take over, and then in the aftermath of the totally successful surgery, all he can do is mope about how he failed and how he's not living up to his family legacy. The truth now being out about Amelia being his aunt, we're having to see this character do yet more angsting about legacy and living up to the family name. Yawn. Also, the Lucas/Simone kiss kind of came out of nowhere. Maybe I won't hate it someday, but for now I'm just kind of uninterested in that angle.

Mika Yasuda being all obsessed with Teddy was an odd note. I kind of wanted to warn Mika to stay the hell away. Teddy (and Owen) are a drama vortex that will suck you in, and I want Mika to have more to do in the story away from Teddy. Owen vying for the chief job and then suggesting that Teddy go for it was supposed to be a sweet moment of them finding some way of connecting, but I continue to be unconvinced by their relationship at its very core.

Speaking of unconvincing relationships: Jo and Link. Cannot go there with you guys, I'm sorry. I just cannot. And Maggie and Winston, y'all are letting me down! They were like the one romantic relationship on this show that I was actually still into, but it's starting to become irritating to behold! Winston switching specialties just doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but Maggie says she can't respect the fact that Winston is making an adjustment to his career in order to help their marriage survive. And I'm just sitting here thinking... Maggie, what the hell? Why do you always have to be in control of everything, to the point that there's no ability to compromise with your husband? He's doing what he wants to do, he's doing the best thing for the sake of your marriage's longevity. Why is that so hard to see? We're left uncertain as to how this is all going to shake out, so I guess we'll have to wait until February to find out more.

Pros:

Okay, that was a lot of negativity. This is a large show with a lot of characters so there are always some angles I can find to enjoy, in any given episode.

I actually chuckled at Owen's joke about how Teddy would make a great chief and "I could use the money, so..." I can give the man credit for the occasional funny line even though I still hate him.

I liked Schmitt and Jo bickering with each other in the emergency room scenes, with Schmitt "in charge" and Jo pushing back against that, both of them explaining that their gratitude would be implied for the rest of the day.

I liked that Maggie and Winston saved the infamous wedding post-it from Meredith and Derek, that was the kind of call-back that a show like this can do, having been on the air for so many years.

And I still like the new interns, despite my frustrations as stated above. Maybe I'll end up enjoying Mika and Teddy's time together. Teddy was a good mentor for Cristina once upon a time, after all...

And like... literally that's all I can think of. I'm glad Simone didn't kill that author she loves? I'm glad none of Meredith's kids or other family members were hurt in the fire? But my goodness, this was not a strong episode of Grey's Anatomy, and it doesn't exactly make me excited for what's coming in February.

5/10

#review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's anatomy #grey's abc #greys abc

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macgyverseries · 4 years ago

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rebutting and debunking frequently used arguments against macriley

I made this 10-page google doc rant a while ago, but I never ended up posting it. Today, however, I woke up and chose violence. So here it is: my thoughts on frequently used arguments against macriley.

I took some quotes and arguments that people put online (reddit, tumblr..), and I debunked them all :p I feel like I always see the same arguments all the time, and I’m honestly getting a little tired of hearing them. I’m here to settle this once and for all.

and yes, i did manage to cut down the google doc by 3 pages :D (but it's still long af so rip my brain)

1.”Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father”

I can (mostly) get behind the argument that Mac and Riley shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship because of their super strong friendship. Some people really value that sole platonicness, and I get that.

But the argument that I can’t get behind is that: Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father figure”

If you google the definition of “father,” the first result that comes up is: “a man in relation to his children.”

Now, Jack was definitely the father figure to Riley, and I would consider her his child. He raised her. He helped shape her ideals and upbringing.

Mac only met Jack when he left MIT. So it was pretty much after Mac was raised (by Bozer’s parents haha), that Jack really came into his life. Mac already became his own person. (also, I always saw Mac and Jack as more of a bromance)

So because Riley and Mac met Jack at different periods of their lives, and they were raised differently, I wouldn’t say that they were siblings who were raised by the same father.

2. “The show writers left the impression that there was a huge age gap between them”

I understand this a little. I do think Riley was introduced as pretty young and idk naive? Because she was literally in highschool, and then she went to prison, and then she got released into the wild. Personally, when I started watching the show, I googled the whole cast. So I started the show knowing that they were the same age.

And also, the more I got to know Riley, the more that I thought that Riley was more mature and had an old soul herself. I think it was because she was just a dynamic and round character, who is well-developed.

But, I get first impressions. I feel like once you get stuck on an impression, it’s hard to go away from that.

Also, Jack would’ve totally shipped macriley, and you can’t change my mind.

3. "Riley isn't ready for a relationship"

I honestly think that this argument should be more geared towards Mac. He needs to figure himself out and go to therapy ffs. However, this person targeted Riley (the literal queen), so I shall defend her:

I understand wanting Riley to take some time off, and figure herself out before going straight into another relationship with someone. But here’s the thing. Throughout the first few seasons Riley’s character was very well established, and she didn’t have any partners during that time. She has proven that she is a strong, well-rounded, independent woman (with or without a partner). So i think it is valid to say that she isn’t just some girl who only has boy toys. She is much more than that.

My next point is that Riley has made it clear that she wants a lasting relationship with someone who will support her. When talking with Mac in 4.04, we see her express her interest in a stable, healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to go out and look for that potential partner. This applies to everyone (not just fictional characters): It’s going to take a few relationships and self-discovery, to find a good relationship, and people shouldn’t be shamed for searching for that.

Riley has only ever had two major boyfriends that I remember. First was Billy; she took that relationship very seriously. She really did seem happy with him. It was a shame that he cheated on her. Second was Aubrey. She also took that relationship very seriously. She had been living with him for six months (and they even had the cutest date nights!) So I wouldn't say that Riley only has boy toys. She has meaningful relationships.

Lastly, I think this was written when season four started airing, but it’s been over a year (and a pandemic) since Riley has dated. I think enough time has passed.

*4. I had to split this one up because, oh boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

4a. “If that was the direction they’d chosen to take with that relationship from square one… My issue with it is that Mac and Riley were presented to us as friends/ found siblings for three years. There were NO romantic vibes to speak of between them..”

I actually felt the same way about macriley. The thought of them being together in season one, made me want to throw up. I don’t think the writers intended on having macriley, and I was perfectly fine with that.

I know that people look for different things when they ship. Some really like having instant gratification with the spicy, hot, sexy parts of a relationship, like macdesi (which is why I was fine with the idea of shipping macdesi in the past).

I always wanted to see macriley do more: have hot, flirtatious banters/interactions. it can be hard to ship people who seem to be missing that part of the love equation. So i agree. It's definitely strange. And I understand if you genuinely have a hard time seeing the romantic potential of macriley, when the writers have only dragged out and shown us the platonic potential of them.

Also, the reason why it is difficult to see macriley as romantic, was because they ALWAYS PRIORITIZED AND WERE DRIVEN on their friendship. A partner should be friends first, and then makeout buddies second.

But just because people start off as friends, doesn’t mean that they still don’t have that potential to be lovers. Because guess what?! Feelings change. It’s now canon that Riley has feelings for Mac, and Mac always had feelings for Riley (but never acted on it).

I'm sorry, but you like a boomer when you say “bAcK iN mY dAy, tHeY dIdN’t HaVe fEeLiNgS fOr EaCh oThEr.” like okaAAAyyYYyYY????? We are not “back in your day” anymore. We are in the present. We are in today. And today, macriley is real :)

4b. “There’s the incredibly tired trope where long-term coworkers suddenly catch feelings for each other out of nowhere”

Personally, I will never get tired of the friends to lovers trope. I think the fact that Mac and Riley had such a strong friendship and foundation is what makes them perfect. Again, I know that some people just like instant gratification, but I love when a couple can take their time to have depth, emotion, and realness in their relationship.

Obviously I am biased because I have so much love for this trope, it's my favorite trope, but I don't see why you would use the “it’s overused” as reasoning to hate a ship. Just because a trope is used a lot, doesn’t mean it is bad (that’s probably why it is so good lmao). I can understand getting tired of it, and growing a dislike towards a trope. For example, I have grown an extreme dislike towards the love triangle.

A bit of a tangent: But the difference between overusing love triangles and overusing friends to lovers, is that love triangles aren’t just commonly used tropes. They are cliches. They cause unwanted drama and unnecessary hurt to one character. Whereas friends to lovers doesn’t involve as much drama and pain for a character. It is more of just angst between two people. And we know that they will get together eventually with a happy ending. So it was never really problematic.

And even then, the great thing about overusing or utilizing tropes, is that they can act as a guide. It allows the show writers and cast to make it personal, make it their own, adding their own special flair to it

I just don’t see the “this trope is used a lot” as a valid reasoning for disliking a ship .It just seems like this commenter doesn’t like the friends to lovers trope for the sake of not liking it.

I could be very wrong in my assumption of this person’s thoughts on friends to lovers, maybe there is a deeper reasoning as to why they don’t like it, but the tone that i interpreted when i read this section, was that they don’t have a real reason to dislike it, it’s more of just because.

4c.“then there's the fact that Riley had a mostly single Mac in her life for 3-4 years and she never even considered him romantically until he was with someone else”

First: Riley didn’t CHOOSE to fall in love. You may recall that “emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Second: Mac was broken up with Desi when she caught feelings for him. Plus, the moment Riley saw that Mac and Desi were getting happy together, she moved out and gave them space. She sacrificed her own feelings for his happiness, despite the fact that her heart was breaking.

4d. “and finally, Mac not only still doesn't seem to even have Riley on his radar in that way but he literally told another woman that he loves her just last week. Neither of them look particularly good here if they get together now.”

I'm assuming that this was written when 4.12 first aired. I'm also assuming that this comment was more directed towards the idea of Mac and Riley getting together immediately at the end of the season, rather than later down the road. I always saw of macriley as more of endgame material. That i would see them get together sometime in the future. So I agree. Macriley getting together during that time period, would be too rushed and unsatisfying.

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So those were most of the supposed arguments that I saw for people who were against macriley, but I also wanted to provide some really good examples of people who were very respectable, and actually had valid reasoning for disliking them.

1. they just don’t like shipping in general

Ships can be annoying af. Seeing people ONLY focus on the ships is sometimes tiring. I, myself, even feel a little guilty making this post, because I need to chill and mind my own business lmaooo. I really should let people do whatever they want to do with their lives, and not get caught up in the ships, but here I am :p

Anyways, I know that there is a lot of unnecessary drama that comes with shipping, and it's tiring to see people constantly go on and on about romance, when there are other perfect things about the show.

2. No matter how hard they try, they just feel it.

This is literally so dumb (and a little hypocritical/self-contradictory), but if you have a gut feeling, and you just can’t get yourself to ship it, I get it. If you truly and genuinely believe that they are best platonic friends, I can't change your opinion. And I have respect for you (if you say it in a kind manner).

Here is a nice example of a person who expressed their opinion in a nice way, with no BS.

So the moral of the story: I can't control your deepest thoughts. I can't control your gut feelings. And that’s okay. But the moment that you start backing up your thoughts and insights with BS reasoning, is the moment that I lose respect for you.

#macriley #macgyver #sorry that was so freaking long

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creaturefeaturecommando · 4 years ago

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I made two Metalocalypse OC's. Mathilda Nokthurn and Vera Tormentahl.

Here's the Picrew I used to create them

Mathilda Nokturn became acquainted with Dethklok when they were out palling around at a bar she hangs out at every night. She managed to get into a drinking contest with Deathklok and managed to out drink everyone but Pickles but had gotten close. She then decided to hang out with them when she was blackout drunk and somehow woke up at Mordhaus the next morning, in Pickles' bed, but nothing happened between them and she went home like nothing happened, until the next night, when Deathklok came back to the bar, demanding a rematch, which she granted. Then the same thing happened again. Then it continued to happen for a week until they finally asked her if she officially wanted to be their pal, which she agreed. She started to hang around Mordhaus with the guys. She was mostly closer to Pickles, but also hung around Toki when the guys were being mean to him, since it was better than him hanging out with Dr Rockso. She and Pickles have this weird, awkward, sexual and romantic tension that everyone but them can see, but they deny it, and say that sleeping with each other or perusing a relationship would probably ruin their friendship.

"Doods, we gotta good thing goin' here, why would we ruin it with feelings ?" Pickles says.

"Totally unnecessary to 'fix' something that ain't broken." Mathilda would say, Pickles nodding in agreement and they would leave it at that, insisting they're okay with being pals and only pals.

Vera Tormentahl is Charles Ofdensen's apprentice and he is her teacher. She also helps lighten his workload. He took her on at a young age, when Deathklok was becoming big and his assistants kept dying, he figured that he would need someone competent, someone who was almost his equal. He kept her in the dark, training her in combat and swordsmanship, but most importantly, business. Her training was brutal but she never seemed to be ready in his eyes, until one day, she went against his orders and went to protect Deathklok from some cult of obsessed fans who's goal it was to kidnap the band and use them for their own personal pleasures, they approached the stage, killing several Klokateers, until she appeared out of nowhere and put her training to use, showing no mercy, she snapped the leader's neck, uttering the words

"Don't fuck with the bread and butter."

She was later escorted away by Charles after he sent the band home in a limo, he escorted her into a seperate limo so they could talk and seemed angry with her, until he revealed that she had passed his final test. She jumped into action, ignoring everything else, including his strict orders to protect the band and that he only let the cult get that close because he wanted to see what she would do. He takes her to Mordhaus and let's her officially meet the band, introducing her as his assistant, while the band was still in shock at what she did at the concert. But then after a few days, they get over it and just start calling her a paper pushing robot who doesn't know how to have fun. Then she realizes that her greatest challenge isn't to protect Deathklok from assassins or cults. Her greatest challenge is to not lose her temper and get Deathklok to listen during staff meetings because their attention spans are horrid and that she can see why Charles looks emotionless or at the very least, slightly irritated whenever she sees him. The job he does is a truly thankless job but somebody has to do it but she and Charles take breaks and drink brandy to deal with the stress occasionally. Sometimes, they go down and torture prisoners that are kept down below in Mordhaus together to wash away workday stress. And God forbid if Dr Rockso comes around again. He's an easy target to take their frustrations out on, especially if they've had an absolutely terrible work day.

"You can't start him off on high electricity Vera, he'll gain a tolerance. You have to start off slow and then when he starts to get a tolerance, increase the voltage so he'll feel more pain." Charles would say, watching Dr Rockso scream in pain in the electricity chamber.

"I think he just shit himself." Vera says.

"That's the one thing I don't enjoy about this method." Charles says.

"You enjoy this ?" Vera asks.

"Ah, occasionally." Charles says.

"Is it bad that I enjoy it too ?" Vera asks.

"I like to think it isn't a bad thing when the person deserves it. He's been warned multiple times to stay away from the boys." Charles says.

"Does this make us sadists ?" Vera asks.

"Depends. Does this give you pleasure ?" Charles asks.

"Pleasure is such a specific word. I think I just like seeing the bastard get what he deserves." Vera says.

"Then you're not a sadist." Charles says. "We're just two people who take pride in our job, but like this aspect of it more than others."

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse oc #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #metalocalypse skwisgaar #toki wartooth #willaim murderface #charles foster offdensen #charles offdensen #dethklok #dr rockso #mentions of torture #mentions of alcohol #mentions of death

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silentauroriamthereal · 4 years ago

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So, I watched Happiest Season yesterday, and I have thoughts. A lot of thoughts. Spoilers abound and this is long, so I’ll put this under a cut.

Happiest Season: a review

You have to ask yourself how “happy” a happy ending really is when you glance down at the time bar on the film and see that there’s less than fifteen minutes left and none of the story’s problems have been even remotely resolved.

Skip to the closing credits, and I hadn’t changed my mind. This is a “happy” ending where a great deal of the problems in the plot were left either completely unresolved, or whose happiness wasn’t earned – wasn’t properly fleshed out, developed, supported, or in fact, even happy.

What an incredibly toxic family the Caldwells are. Let’s start with them: there are three daughters. Sloan has apparently cemented her parents’ permanent disappointment by having left a promising legal career in favour of raising a family. Side tangent: are we really still having this discussion, in 2020? This binary choice between family OR career? Besides, Sloan evidently developed a different, and very lucrative career. I also strongly dislike the way the perception of her marriage ending is portrayed as a failure. Her awful parents both resent her having left the legal field, yet have refused to now see her as anything other than a parent, ignoring her new career choice and, it seems, literally anything else about her. Then we have Jane, who is overtly abused. Treated as lesser than anyone else in the family apart from technical support with malfunctioning printers, Jane is constantly criticized, chastised, literally told to not put herself in the centre of the family for a holiday photo. I was horrified and devastated by the wanton destruction of her painting at the end, too. I’m happy for her that her book got published and that she found success there, but I hate that this brutal, completely unnecessary destruction of her art happened and was totally overlooked.

I’m going to come back to Harper, because there’s a LOT to say there.

The way the parents, Tipper and Ted, treated Abby, was appalling from start to finish. Leaving aside the ENTIRE question of the secret girlfriend thing, if my family ever treated a friend or even distant acquaintance the way the Caldwells treated Abby, I would be furious with them. I used to frequently bring friends who were international students or just on their own for the holidays to my parents’ place for Thanksgiving dinner or Christmas festivities. These people were so, so, so incredibly rude to Abby, from ignoring her when she first arrived to giving her a terrible bedroom with a door that doesn’t lock, to walking in on her multiple times while she was changing or in bed – that level of complete disrespect infuriated me! Just allowing those awful kids to be in her private space without any sort of discipline, consequences, or apologies was unacceptable. The way they treated Abby after those same kids – which she was stuck with, without any sort of request to watch them – planted that necklace on her, was unacceptable. The utter lack of apology for having literally accused her of theft, for accusing her multiple times after that – WOW. Treating Abby as though she was the unexpected, extra guest at the restaurant that first night, and giving the ex-boyfriend the parents kept shoving on Harper the proper one was unacceptable.

Then there’s how Harper treated Abby. Let’s start with the restaurant: first of all, had my parents pulled that stunt on my friend/guest/secret girlfriend, I would have let them know then and there that it wasn’t okay. And then I would have, I don’t know, asked the staff to bring a proper chair, and if that turned out to be impossible, I would have insisted that she take mine instead, and sat on the little chair myself. Asking anyone to closet themselves is an act of violence, and watching that as a member of the LGBTQ2+ community was actively harmful to witness. Again, a lot of the crap that Harper subjected Abby to would have been awful no matter WHO Abby was: you don’t abandon your guest to hang out with old friends. If they’re ready to go home, then you go home with them. It’s basic hospitality. Considering that Abby was Harper’s partner, that’s a whole extra layer of harm. THEN add the ex-boyfriend, a horribly-treated ex-girlfriend, and toxic old friends to the mix, and you have something beyond appalling. Adding this stuff on top of not standing up for Abby to her family, not insisting that she be given somewhere proper to sleep during her time in her parents’ house, not insisting that she be treated with the most basic respect, not defending her during the whole jewellery theft situation, and even going along with the parents’ de-invitation to that dinner – that’s inexcusable. You don’t treat other people that way, much less your partner. Then add Harper calling Abby controlling, while simultaneously having the nerve to get angry about Abby spending time with Riley, which is possibly the only good thing that happened for Abby during that entire, awful trip – yeah. I was finished with Harper by that point.

Harper also actively participated in the way her sisters were constantly put down by their parents. The responsibility of being the privileged favourite is to use your status to bring others up. Harper doesn’t appear to have any sort of spine or courage whatsoever. It was only after she was forcibly outed by Sloan – and such was her privilege that the parents believed that it was a “malicious” lie rather than a “shocking” secret – that Harper even admitted the truth, and that was only after forcing Abby to watch her deny it yet it again. While I did love John (the gay best friend)’s entire speech about someone’s love not being the same thing as being ready to come out, there is nonetheless a ton of harm in forcing your partner watch that. It does affect them. It does disavow their identity at the same time, when they’re in a relationship with you. Her pattern of behaviour of throwing other people under the bus, like Riley, is very much intact.

I completely comprehend Harper’s fear of being rejected by her family. Apparently it was a well-founded fear, based on her awful, awful parents. That’s one of the reasons why the ending didn’t resonate for me at all: it wasn’t earned. Harper’s turn-around from being completely unwilling to have her parents know the truth to claiming that Abby was the only thing that mattered to her, came out of nowhere. It wasn’t a supported development. It happened too quickly. Similarly, the parents both going from being just about the worst parents on the planet to having a VERY sudden change of heart and behaviour, just happened unbelievably quickly. There was no questioning the entire history of their practises or what was wrong with them, no questioning how they’d treated any of their kids. The whole “consequence” for Ted was deciding, of his own accord, not to align himself with a politician who would force Harper to zip it – sorry, continue to zip it – about her identity. He shouldn’t have aligned himself with that woman in the first place. No one ever apologized to Abby about the way they treated her from start to finish, from patronizing her for being an orphan or the constant lack of respect shown her, to the false accusations of theft. Not a single part of it was atoned for at any point. Even Tipper being so disgusted with Abby’s ipad photography skills was disgusting. You just don’t talk to other human beings that way, and there was no resolution for me on any of this. There were also no consequences for Sloan’s horrific, SUPER-public outing of Harper, for Harper’s destruction of Jane’s painting, for the kids’ planting of the necklace on Abby, or for anyone’s horrendous treatment of Abby in general.

So yes: when you’re less than fifteen minutes out from the end of a supposed romantic comedy that was more upsetting to watch than entertaining or funny, and you’re actively rooting for the main character to walk away from her so-called partner and her toxic family, that’s not good. I’m not sold on the “romance” aspect, either. John (Dan Levy’s character) was the only good part of this movie, for me, and that’s overlooking his completely rude ignoring while on his phone at the beginning, or his negligent care of the animals he was supposed to be taking care of. (Gross, again – animals’ lives have value, too, and if my pet sitter killed my pet through negligence while I was away, I would be furious!) But his point about “sticking it to the patriarchy” in terms of Abby asking Ted for his permission/blessing to marry Harper was spot on. For all the hype about this being a progressive, lesbian, holiday rom-com, this film managed to perpetuate a lot of gross aspects of straight, white, misogynistic, heteronormative culture, like women being the property of their fathers and needing to obtain a male parent’s “permission” to marry another human being. The only person’s “permission” that was needed here was Harper’s, and then it’s not about permission – it’s about two adults making a consensual decision to commit themselves to each other. It’s great if you have the support of family – aka, BOTH parents, on BOTH sides – but that support is a bonus, not a prerequisite. Perpetuating the false dichotomy of family vs career for women only, is a harmful one to keep perpetuating. That question is never asked of men.

I was honestly kind of disgusted that Abby chose to stay with Harper by the end. I get it, but it definitely didn’t leave me with warm, romantic feelings. It left me with the deflated feeling I invariably experience whenever a woman makes the choice to be the bigger person and submit herself to a damaging situation or relationship. Mostly what I’m left with is anger that no one spoke up for Abby at any point, even John. That, and anger and sorrow over Jane’s painting. So yeah: it wasn’t as bad as bury your gays, but it also wasn’t really a happy ending for me, or super enjoyable to watch. Do better, Hollywood. Do a lot better.

#happiest season #reviews #lgbtq2+#bury your gays

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chkristae · 4 years ago

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My thoughts on the leaks and the possibility how SNK will end

First - if you haven’t seen the leaks and don’t want to get spoiled what is happening, don’t read this. It’s a warning for spoilers.

Okay, this might get long, but I don’t care. Also, probably this is all for nothing, because there are only few leaks, that probably are not even five pages of the whole chapters, so who knows what’s really going on in the story and all the assumptions that we are getting might be wrong, or right, we will find the truth after the chapter is released.

But, I just have to write this.

I hope, actually pray, that SNK won’t end like many stories these past few years. For example - ending of Tokyo ghoul was really dissatisfactory. The story, as SNK was tragedy, from the starting point. We even have a quote from Ishida Sui - “If you were to write a story with me in the lead role, it would certainly be... a tragedy.”, but in the end... it wasn’t. I would say it’s like someone tells you and promises you some things, but in the end it is the exact opposite and you feel really disappointed, almost betrayed. In SNK form Isayama we have similar quote like from TG, that Eren said himself - “ I don't have time to worry if it's right or wrong, you can't hope for a horror story with a happy ending! “

Another story is Voltron, the whole show was a mess and I watched it till the end only to see if my favourite characters will make it out alive or not, I actually watched the last season only for one character, which was Keith, that was all. So if SNK goes down like Voltron, where the romance part was totally unnecessary and I will be bitter about it until my last breath in my life, I will probably read it to the end only for my favourite characters, which are Armin, Levi, Jean, Annie and even Historia.

The next story is the infamous tragic ending of the last Star wars movies, if you had seen it, you probably know what I mean, because the death scene was for me unnecessary and as in Voltron, the romance didn't have to be there, but I didn’t mind it (except for Voltron where I didn't like it, because it didn't make sense to me and the show would be better with no romance at all)-

So from this examples I hope, that SNK does not end the way which totally does not fit the theme - tragedy, loss, fighting for your life and freedom, because Eren running away is so out of his character? So why he did all of this? Why he joined the survey corps? Why did he started the rumbling? Even that the rumbling is really twisted way to achieve freedom, it was still in Eren’s character - for freedom, not only his, but those he loves and cares about (not meaning the romantic way, but for his friends, family and Paradis).

I’m Erehisu stan, I won’t hide it, but for me, if they don't became canon, so what? I don't need it, they have pretty nice connection, romantic or nor. They saved each other and Historia had a big part in his life, so for me I don't care if they become cannon. If they do? I will be happy. If they don't? I will be happy too.

And now for Mikasa, oh boy. I’m sorry, but for the whole show I just couldn't bring myself to like Mikasa. Like I don't hate her either, I just don't care much about her. If she is your favourite character, fine, I have nothing against it, your favourite character is your favourite character. Like I hoped there will be something that makes me like her and not me neutral about her, but that didn’t happen. Also, in the beginning I didn't see why people loved Levi so much, and before you hunt me down and kill me for this, let me say that through the story I started really liking him, he is one of my favourite characters. But this didn't happened with MIkasa, I don't know why, I just cannot bring myself to like her, but I don't hate her either, I just don't care.

Now, for Eren running away with Mikasa. Well, if they become cannon then let it be, even though the romance came out of nowhere, at least for me, I always saw them as friends and family, not romantic partners, but them running away? That is just out of character for both of them. Even though I’m neutral about Mikasa, her just leaving? This is just weird and probably it would ruing her development. In the beginning of the story she only cared about Eren, would follow him anywhere, as we know she almost died when she thought that Eren “died”. And through the story for me she learned to fight also for others, not just Eren, so just leaving everyone behind? Weird. As for Eren, he learned to care about others too. And remember when he went crazy and also threatened Levi himself, when Armin was on the edge of death? Why he would leave him? His best friend who showed him the book that started it all? That started Eren’s desire to see the world, join the survey and fight for freedom? Even when he learned the truth about Marley and Eldians, he still fought for it, but now run away? What freedom lies in running away?

I know I’m contradicting myself with the romance, that I would be fine with Erehisu but not much with Eremika, this just comes from my favourite thing in stories, when two people end up together and I didn’t expect it. In some stories you have this forced obvious couples that most of time don’t make sense, but when suddenly the protagonist ends up with someone else? I just love this twist, because like in real life, the person you are close with you probably wont end up with, but with someone else, who came to your life almost unexpectedly. This is just my favourite, lets say “trope” in fiction and stories (one of my most favourite couple is Isabelle and Simon from Shadowhunters) . But honestly, I would like to have no romance story at all, because SNK is NOT romance genre. Don’t get me wrong, I’m shipper and have many ships in SNK, but I don’t need them to become cannon, just let me ship them in peace, that’s what everyone wants, isn’t it?

So, in the end, I hope SNK gets ending that makes sense and doesn't become another Tokyo ghoul and Game of thrones (I haven't actually watched game of thrones, but I heard that the ending was worse than disaster). Leaks are leaks, not the whole chapter. Only Isayama and those who worked with him on the chapter know what is going on and as we know Isayma loves to make fun of us and see us suffer. Probably the leaks mean nothing and so this article in the end. I will still hope for the “right” ending and believe in Isayama. As Levi has said - “No matter what kind of wisdom dictates you the option you pick, no one will be able to tell if it's right or wrong until you arrive to some sort of outcome from your choice." So let me suffer with my choices and it’s consequences. Until now Isayama wrote amazing story, that I love for now. If this hope gets ruined? Well, I will suffer in silence.

If you had read all of this, I bow to you. Sorry for grammatical nonsense and mistakes, English is not my first language.

Feel free to discuss in the comments, or message me. For another point of view, or to be bitter with me about the possible ending.

Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#shingeki no kyojin #snk #snk 138 #snk138 #attack on titan

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countdown-to-destruction · 5 years ago

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Inuyasha Sequel: a rant

Put this up this earlier on a post I re-blogged, tried to edit a part or two where I didn’t like the way I had phrased it, and ended up messing up the whole format I wrote this in. Luckily I wrote this as a draft earlier anyways! So I did a some fixing and now I’m just copy-pasting it again and making it a text post instead. This will be very long and a little nit-picky but I wanted to make a post ever since I heard about the upcoming sequel to Inuyasha, Hanyō no Yashahime. I did put a TLDR at the end for those who don’t want to read everything. Not sure how many people in the fandom still follow me and will see this, as it's been a long time since I was actually active in the fandom, but it's hands-down both my favorite manga and anime of all time and I’ve been feeling nostalgic lately so I had to post something. Before reading this be sure to read all of the translated character bios for Towa, Setsuna, and Moroha so that this makes sense.

When I first heard that Inuyasha would be getting a sequel I was excited! But after reading up on it, to be completely honest I'm not feeling this sequel anymore. I know it’s an unpopular opinion but hear me out. Firstly, it seems like Rumiko is mostly involved in the character design aspect and the writing is up to Katsuyuki Sumisawa. The music will be produced by Kaoru Wada which is great! And from what I’ve seen and read online a number of others who worked on the original series will reunite so hopefully the story will go well. However, knowing Rumiko isn't personally writing and not knowing how much input she has or will give makes me unsure about watching. The original Inuyasha anime followed and was based off of the events in the manga, and there was no manga prior to this for it to be based on. Depending on what happens this could be an alright sequel or a total miss. Unfortunately sequels in general are known to be disappointing in some way.

Secondly, if I hear anything about Rin being the mother of Sesshomaru's twin daughters I'm out. This part will be a SUPER long and in depth explanation on why I think this way, feel free to skip if you're not interested. Please don't come for me on this, I'm here to explain my thoughts and feelings on the sequel and the theories around it so far, not start an argument. I'm more than aware that there's plenty of controversy out there on this pairing and personally I do not support it. I never saw their relationship as more than a friendship, or something akin to child and guardian as Sesshomaru and Jaken are basically Rin's caretakers up until she goes to live in the village with Kaede. He definitely cares for her deeply but I can't see it in a romantic way, being that Sesshomaru isn't even a character focused on romance to begin with. He learns compassion through Rin's second death but that doesn't mean he loves her romantically. As a reminder his main goal is to seek power and be powerful, and it's stated that he needed to learn compassion and grief in order to mature. It's what helped him learn to wield the Tenseiga at its full potential. In addition, she was really young when they first met and still was when she went to live with Kaede. The idea of Sesshomaru (an adult) having romantic feelings for a kid under ten years old (around eleven at the end of the series, and still a literal child in all ways) and waiting for her to age with the intention of marrying her sits totally wrong with me. Age wise I realize that Inuyasha is decades older than Kagome and that his father was much older than his mother, Izayoi, as well. The difference here is that Kagome was a teen when she met Inuyasha (who not just physically, but more importantly mentally was also a teen) and clearly Izayoi was old enough to conceive Inuyasha and give birth. As far as the audio dramas (more specifically "Asatte") go they're generally considered as an outtake reel and are essentially parodies, or a form of satire. Some will debate on this but realistically there’s plenty of reasons this is true, and those who take the time to properly check them out understand that. For me I've always had a headcanon that at some point in her teen years Rin would inevitably develop a one-sided crush on Sesshomaru and that he would ultimately set boundaries and reject her, seeing her as more of a close companion than a love interest and wanting her to live with someone she can grow old with. He gave her the choice to follow him and it's most likely that she would, but I think that once she began aging he would want her to have somewhere to settle, given that he enjoys roaming and seeking out other powerful beings to battle. It's strange to me that they decided to give Sesshomaru hanyō/half-demon children in general but based on the artwork we've seen it's fair to guess that they might have made Sesshomaru and Rin a pairing in this sequel.

IMPORTANT NOTE: I want to clarify that if you ship them together I'm not writing this here because I want to hate on your ship for no reason, or in order to create an argument on if the pairing makes sense, these are my thoughts and opinions on the matter and I’m voicing them because it’s what I believe. I already know that somebody won’t like this and will take it personally. People usually say that once Rin is an adult the pairing is acceptable but I disagree. I find it quite creepy that someone would think it would be alright for an adult to wait around for a kid to grow up with the intention to marry and/or sleep with them. Watching from a distance is the same exact thing, after making an impression on the child... let’s not normalize this. In this situation it would be grooming. We all have our own opinions when it comes to our ships and fandoms and I try to respect that but I can’t get behind this one.

Next we have the apparent lack of parental figures for the heroines. Where are the original Inuyasha characters at? Moroha's character bio says she barely knows her parents (Inuyasha and Kagome, our former main protagonists) and has been alone since she was young! It makes me think either something has happened to them or some kind of bizarre event separated them. And sorry, not related, but why does she transform by PUTTING LIPSTICK ON?? That part threw me for a loop.

When it comes to Setsuna and Towa their parents are absent too. I find it difficult to believe that Sesshomaru wouldn't keep track of his children given how he treats Rin and reacts to her going missing in any capacity. Especially if he happened to be fond of whoever their mother is. One daughter works as a taijiya/demon slayer for Kohaku and the other mysteriously transports to Kagome's era and is raised by Sota (I thought we had finished with the time jumps when the well closed but apparently not. When the Bone Eater's Well closed after Kagome's return it gave a sense of finality and closure to the story, and showed that Kagome had chosen where she was most happy and felt she belonged. I think that bringing the theme of time travel back into the sequel makes it feel repetitive, like something right out of a predictable fanfic. Props to Sota for taking in and raising a child who showed up out of nowhere though).

Another thing that came to mind when I read these character bios was why Inuyasha and Kagome's daughter and Sesshomaru's daughters are the exact same age. Of course there's nothing wrong with that. It only struck me as odd because suddenly everyone is having kids at the same time. And so far there's no mention of other characters like Sango, Miroku, Shippo, Jaken, Kaede, or Miroku or Sango's three children or where they are. One might expect that a story focused on the children of some of the original Inuyasha's main characters would feature appearances from those who had important roles in the previous series and their children. Which brings me around to wondering what made twin daughters a trend? Two sets of twin girls is a unique choice (Sango and Miroku's twin daughters. For such a small group of parental characters, what are the odds of two sets of twin girls? Where is the creativity and again why the repetition?).

Lastly, Sesshomaru's daughters lack some of the common yōkai/demon characteristics we see on Inuyasha and other characters. Their ears are human, and they have no markings or otherwise (that I noticed) with the exception of Setsuna's mokomoko/fur which is similar to Sesshomaru's. So perhaps they take more after their human mother? Given that Inuyasha seemed to inherit strong genes from his father it's interesting that they did not. Their ages also interest me as they appear to age the same way as humans do. Yōkai/demons are known to have a longer lifespan than humans and appear to slow down or almost stop aging at some point. Perhaps this confirms that the slowdown in aging occurs once they reach the equivalent of a human teen?

Overall Inuyasha was a fantastic manga and great anime on its own, and I never got the feeling that it needed a sequel. As a stand-alone it was everything it needed to be. I thoroughly enjoyed both formats of the original, though I do have a tendency to disregard certain parts of the anime. I always preferred the manga more when the anime dragged out certain scenes (Shichinintai/Band of Seven arc for example) or straight-up excluded, changed, and added others. Taking that into consideration the sequel might end up being the same for me in that way, but rather than one scene that plays out for too long or an excluded, altered, or unnecessary added scene, if it’s not any good I’ll simply disregard it altogether. When the anime comes out I certainly plan to try watching it out of loyalty to the fandom, and due to the fact that it's "technically" canon (without Rumiko being the writer I don't necessarily consider it canon, much like how some folks do or do not consider the movies canon) but I get the feeling that I'll wind up giving up on it in disappointment.

TLDR; Overall I'm left questioning if the sequel is worth watching (for me) given what I've read and heard so far, but nonetheless I will give it an optimistic try! I'm currently wondering how much we'll see of the original Inuyasha characters, if we get to find out what happened to them, if the number one pairing I'm not fond of will make an appearance (and cause me to drop the whole thing), and questioning parts of the character backstories and designs (why is there a repetitive and recurring theme of time travel and does it end up hindering or ruining the story, why do the protagonists all lack parents, and why do the hanyō/half-demon characters lack common yōkai/demon traits and does it make them more human than demon?).

#inuyasha #hanyo no yashahime #sesshomaru #please don't be sessrin #kagome #a feudal fairytale #internal screeching #my thoughts #my opinions #unpopular opinion

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solohux · 5 years ago

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I’ve also seen TROS yesterday, and I’m so disappointed! 😞 What they did to our Hux, again... 😫 And the ending, the fucking ending...!!! 😡 That kiss was completely unnecessary and just some cheap showmanship. But the worst is, that it *seemingly* confirmend R*ylo. Why do I emphasize this so much? Well, in an attempt to mend my broken heart I carefully analyzed this scene, and my conclusions draw a completely different picture: (1/?)

That kiss is not of the romantic sort! For one, there is the blunt way how they just press their lips together. Please compare this to the way the two great Star Wars couples Padmé and Anakin resp. Leia and Han kiss – with passion and genuine feelings behind. And the most important point: Those feelings are vocalized! Both couples tell their s/o that they love them. Did Kylo or Rey ever do this? No, never. (2/?)And seeing that Padmé/Anakin and Leia/Han told the other about their feelings preferably in moments of peril, there would have been quite a few occasions for Kylo and Rey to do the same. But they didn’t. Not even in ways to manipulate the other to follow them (which could have been successful, seeing that they’re both lonely souls)! That tells everything: The mere thought of love is as far from their minds as could be. (3/?)So, what is this kiss then, if not romantic? It’s simply a kiss between people that are 1. very close (platonically) and 2. in an emotional state of exception: (4/?)The relationship between Kylo and Rey may be anything but romantic, but they are closely bonded nonetheless – quite literally. I wouldn’t be surprised if Rey saw Kylo as some sort of “brother from another mother”. After all, the Skywalker-Organa-Solo family is the family she never had (she even takes on the name in the end!). That’s why she so desperately wants to bring the “lost son” back. This, and because she’s the epitome of good in the galaxy – she’s “every Jedi” after all. (5/?)After all what Kylo and Rey went through it’s only understandable that one gets a tad bit excited. Especially an extrovert like Rey can have difficulties channeling such emotions – they just break through. When she wakes up and realizes that Kylo just resurrected her, she’s - of course - immensely grateful, overjoyed that they won, and happy and proud that her “mission Bendemption” was a striking success (6/?)(that’s why she touches his cheek – the scar there is gone, he’s the unblemished boy from before again). She simply kisses him out of this overwhelming emotional experience. (Hell, I’ve seen guys kissing over a mere football championship. *lol*) (7/?)And if that’s not enough to prove that there is no love, romance or whatsoever between Kylo and Rey, here, have some more refutation: (8/?)Rey’s last thought before dying is directed at Finn. He’s not force sensitive, yet he feels that Rey is passing away. So Rey must have reached out to him. Because HE is the most important person in her life. When she returns to D’Qar she doesn’t engage in celebrations with the other Resistance folks, she’s only fixated on finding Finn. And look how genuinely happy they both are for having the other in their arms again. (I’m still mad a Poe for ruining their reunion. 🙄) (9/?)Rey doesn’t heal Kylo out of love for him, but for Leia. She just effectively killed Leia’s only son, that she never gave up on despite his horrible deeds, that she gave her life for. Rey doesn’t want to ruin this for Leia. Plus, Rey is afraid that letting Kylo die is a further step towards the dark side which she fears more than anything. (10/?)Kylo also doesn’t resurrect Rey out of love. He knows that the galaxy needs her, that she’s the future, so he returns the favour of having been healed and given another chance for redemption. I believe he knows that he will die in the process, but it’s okay with him, because there’s nothing and no one left for him, nowhere to go, so becoming one with the Force would give him peace at last. (11/?)The smile he gives Rey after having gotten forced a kiss upon is not one of blissful joy like the R*ylos want to see it, but a mixture of relief (that the life force transfer worked out) and embarrassment. (12/?)And on a side note, for the more intellectual folk here 🤓: The kiss that Rey imposes on Kylo could also symbolize absolution. Therefore the immediate death (= salvation) right afterwards. (13/?)Well, that was a long rant… 😳 But I hope (I know 😈) that this will finally take the wind out of the fucking R*ylos’ sails. The Kylux will live in our hearts forever! ❤🧡💛💚💙💜 (14/14)

To be totally honest, I haven’t seen that many R*ylos who were happy with what happened. It’s more than us Kyluxers got but to be fair on them, I haven’t seem them be all high and mighty about the kiss. Maybe they know it wasn’t romantic. After all, Rey didn’t mourn Ben at all, she literally got up and walked out. There has also been a video going around of JJ talking to some fans about the kiss and he said that it wasn’t meant to be a romantic thing but like a platonic thing–I think, anyway. I’m very tired from work and my brain isn’t working very well!

There were a lot of things in TROS that disappointed me but nothing did so more than that kiss. It felt so wrong. I was waiting for a FinnRey confession, Finn seemed to be going to say it as they were being sucked down into the quicksand stuff but it just never came. The kiss felt so wrong, a forehead touch or a hug would have been better if they’d insisted on making Rey show affection to the man who has physically and mentally abused her.

Thank you so much for your thoughts, anon! I support them all!

#tros spoilers #the rise of skywalker spoilers #anti reylo

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arharmon · 6 years ago

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Life Is Strange 2.3 Review

I never really been interested in playing the Life Is Strange games but ever since the reveal of the Season 2 I was totally invested in the universe. I played the first season, BTS and the DLC and fell in love. Now that I’m playing the second season I can easily say it’s the best one to be added to the universe so far.

Anyways this is my hot take on this episode.

Mainly I wanted to talk about the romance within the episode since it’s a really big topic people are talking about. The ships and romance have started some controversy within the fandom which is understandable, to say the least.

The episode starts off with a flashback before the incident that caused Sean and Daniel to flee their home and we see some brotherly dispute between to the boys and after a talk between Sean and his dad the brother’s make up. We then skip back into present time and If you ask me it really foreshadows how this episode is going to play out.

Seeing Hannah topless gave me a bit of a shocker because of I never expected the writers to go this far however the video game had already given us so much in previous episodes so seeing someone naked should have been inevitable.

Sean is in a very troubling and even some would say traumatic time in his life that he is sure to remember. The plot of the game and the character's goal (Sean’s goal) to protect his brother and get him to safety in Mexico. It’s clear to see that journey has very much changed Daniel which is easy to notice throughout the entire episode. Daniel constantly acts out and cold towards Sean simply because Sean prefers to hang out with kids his own age instead of Daniel. To be honest Daniel’s behavior is understandable but not tolerated. His behavior is the reason for the many unfortunate things that happen later on in the episode.

To put in blatantly, Daniel wasn’t really my favorite in this episode. Like I really enjoyed seeing him on screen in episode two and many of his outburst was determinant based on the players' choices, so not really Daniel’s fault and the ones that were (like him being upset with his grandparents about his mother) is totally valid.

I was hoping that in this episode Daniel would become more mature and realize the very dangerous situation that their in and him fucking up could really mess things up for them at the farm. Which he totally ignores and acts more like a brat and fucks shit up for everyone.

To be honest I saw it coming and I am surprised they even lasted as long as they did. Anyway, enough about Daniel and more about Sean. My favorite.

Sean went through I lot this episode and one of those things being is his love life. Now I read a lot of stuff on Tumblr about the romance options and people having mixed feelings about things and the main reason why I’m writing this is that I wanted to share mine. While some say the romance wasn’t needed in the game, I would totally disagree.

I think the romance was a must in this game.

The genre of the game is Adventure/Slice of Life with a bit of Fantasy or Paranormal. But most importantly it’s Teen Fiction. I think most people forget that Sean is only a 16-year-old boy. A teenage surrounded by other teenagers pumped with hormones and testosterone. Not to mention drugs and alcohol.

Honestly, the Cassidy x Sean romance was clearly going to happen and anyone could have known if they paid attention to their first interaction back in the previous episode. However, I never expected us to get a romance with Finn. I applaud DontNod for making both of their MCs Bisexual to give the player a choice of who they wish to romance.

Now I want to talk about both Cassidy’s and Finn’s romance routes separately.

First up, Cassidy. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my girl Cas. I think she’s a badass just look at her. However, the game developers really pushed a Cassidy romance. I mean it seems like she’s all over Sean every second. I mean their very first interaction was flirtatious. I feel the players that went with the Cassidy route got to experience the full-on romance bundle. The went skinny dipping which was a sweet call back to the first season, AND THEN THEY FUCKING HAD SEX!!!!!! Like what? I was not expecting that to happen?!?!

Now everyone had mixed feelings about this scene and some people even saying it was wrong because “sean was pushing himself to do things he didn’t really want to do just out of fear that he won’t get to experience” which I don’t understand how you could get that idea from that scene, but it’s false. Like I said, in the beginning, I knew we were going to get more nudity in this episode and thought that lake scene was enough... but then Sean lost his virginity.

Though I was shocked I was also happy the scene was included, because like I said before, Sean is 16. His whole life was just flipped on its ass and he finally felt as though he got somewhat of a new family that actually cares about him and his brother. And no one can say that’s not true. Look at the way they all interacted with one another during the campfire scene. It was easy to see they were a family.

Sean losing his virginity was pretty sweat. He did feel embarrassed when it was over (as every teenage boy would feel after his first time) which was expected and valid. Cassidy reassuring him was also sweet.

In conclusion, I really like the Cassidy romance and I don’t think it was forced or that came out of nowhere.

Now let's talk about Finn... oh boy Finn.

I have mixed feelings about this route. Like everyone else.

One reoccurring thing that I see people talking about was that Finn’s feelings for Sean weren’t ideal and that he simply manipulated Sean with a kiss to make him go along with the plan. Every time I see that I ask myself; “were these guys even playing the game? did they see what I saw?” I mean anyone could see that Finn genuinely cares for Sean and Daniel. Take a look at all the flirting he does with Sean and tries to play it off as jokes and how he is willing to stand up for Sean and Daniel by literally taking a punch for Sean.

I can see why it looks kind of shady that the only way you could kiss him if you go along with his plan, I can certainly see this as Finn being manipulative (then again it was completely unnecessary since Sean had already agreed to go along with the plan). I think this is just bad writing on the developers part. Also, I wouldn’t say that Sean becoming gay came out of nowhere because that is not true. When you decide to stay and get a haircut you’ll eventually end up talking about sexuality and stuff. And it’s clear to see after that that Finn may have a thing for Sean.

I don’t find Finn manipulating Sean by kissing him, I just see Finn confessing his feelings and wanting Sean and Daniel to stay with them. Not to mention it’s not like Finn asked to kiss Sean. Yeah, he basically takes the opportunity to confess his feelings to him but the player is given two chances to reject Finn love and still go along with the plan. It wasn’t Finn being manipulative he just saw an opportunity in a moment of happiness and made his move. He also is actively trying to have Sean stay with the group and him by getting the money from Merril.

Speaking of which I want to talk about Finn’s plan. I think the whole situation was morally ambiguous. And I actually agree with it.

Now hear me out.

Back in episode one and two, we got a first glance of the bullshit Daniel and Sean had to go through on the road. Sean basically got kidnapped by some racist asshole, they had to sleep outside in the woods for a time and then moved to some old cabin that wasn’t any better (not to mention it was in the middle of winter). Also, don’t forget that Daniel got sick and Mushroom was killed by a puma (which could have easily been one of the boys if the mushroom wasn’t there). The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s clear to see that being on the road alone was dangerous for them. Who knows what would’ve happened to Daniel if the didn’t make to their grandparents' house, or before that if they didn’t find Brody who gave them money (and good advice to Sean) for them to stay in a motel for the night.

So basically Sean and Daniel had help, and without that help, they would have never made it this far. The thing I’m trying to get at here is that them taking that money would have helped them in the long run. I think Finn tries to explain that to Sean and when he offers for Sean to stay with them after the heist it made me feel even more confident in the plan and the aftermath knowing that if it did go well they would all be together still. Safety in numbers and all that. Also, it proves further that Finn does care about Sean and Daniel.

Honestly, the reason why I agreed to Finn’s plan is that I knew even if I constantly disagreed with it Daniel was going to go through it anyway. So I knew it would be best if I was there with them and that way Cassidy wouldn’t be there to get hurt or injured.

It kind of bothered me that no matter how much you successfully managed to execute the plan you still get caught... but whatever.

What people need to realize is that romance in this episode was a must and wasn’t just a “forced fling” but something completely more that impacted the characters completely. No one's forgetting about the many other important things about the game like family bonds, mourning lost, racism, exploitation, illegal drug trade/use and countless other important themes. But as a writer of Teen Fiction myself people need to understand that though it shouldn’t be centered upon; sexuality and romantic bonds are very important and were crucial in this story.

For me, this episode was an 8.5/10 it would have been a 9/10 it wasn’t the obvious glitches that were going on during my gameplay. I was trying to ignore it but completely lost it after Cassidy’s beer bottle was oddly floating in mid-air during the campfire scene.

Sorry for the long post, but I had to get my point across and give my honest opinion. I’m going to be making another post about my predictions and wants for the next episode.

Thanks for reading!

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greeneggiwegs · 5 years ago

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I wanna put my RoS thoughts under the cut while they are still fresh (just got out of the film about an hour ago)

tbh its only been an hour but im less and less pleased with it as time goes on, i guess i know how the people who didn’t like TLJ felt now. I worry that the complaints people had made me jaded tho cause like, luke’s death and Rey’s parents being no one were bigger deals and i was really blown away by both TFA and TLJ, and i wasn’t by RoS

Maybe it’s cause I’m tired, had a hell of a time getting home, and I have an exam tomorrow so the conditions weren’t ideal.

The fanservice was really bad, people can kiss JJ’s ass all they want but in both his films he overused the OT characters. Lando popping up for no reason not once but twice? Bringing back Luke AND Han from the dead? Luke raising his x-wing from a swamp? The only good OT character that got screen time was C3PO which falls back to my “more droid interaction is good star wars” theory. Not to mention bringing back Palps in general. The ST’s reliance of fan favs was always tiring.

By the way it’s sort of BS that all the Jedi are doing their force ghost shit when qui-gon spent his entire life learning how to do it. i suppose force obi-wan could’ve taught Luke? idk it’s getting tiring, let people die

They had to have baby yoda try force healing so rey could start doing it to everyone

BTW Raylo kiss? gross and unnecessary. The romantic tension between them was gross and unnecessary overall so like, fuck all of that? It makes me want to throw out my Rey cosplay

Of course the big reveal of Rey’s parentage - why the fuck. First off I have a lot of questions about Palps, mainly how the Jedi didn’t find him as a child. but why does he have a random son (who looks like Owen Lars) who is way younger than him??? I did like the part about sith becoming stronger every time they struck one of each other down, sort of also implied a corruption that turns the killer to the dark side. This is something that my dad proposed to me years ago and I’ve always thought was cool: the premise that the punishment for killing a sith lord is that you become one yourself (ala Anakin and Dooku, also raising the stakes for Luke to kill Vader or Palps)

Bringing back Palps at the end of the trilogy is what made it most jarring. Like i think having him appear earlier would’ve worked but at this point it’s like what? even the opening crawl is like “Palpatine is out there for some reason idk”. with the background of the “First Order” the “Final Order” makes sense.

On the flip side, WHY WOULD REYS PARENTS HIDE HER ON JAKKU which was the site of the emperor’s contingency plan and thus closely tied to him? Shitty Tattooine would’ve made more sense.

Finn’s force sensitivity was neat, but again came out of nowhere in this movie. Also I think it was supposed to be the thing he wanted to talk to her about when Poe wasn’t there but why did Poe have to not be there? It’s weird.

btw rose got totally jarjar’d it was rly sad and Finn was back to his Rey obsession.

Rey taking on the Skywalker name was presumptuous, and also it means the Skywalker trilogy isn’t over because she is one so everyone wait for ep 10-13 coming in the next decade or so

also people have GOT to stop throwing lightsabers in random places

Rey’s lightsabres being yellow means something i think but I dont know what so if you have read this far please let me know.

Anyway - I feel like the main problem is the movie wrapped up an issue that wasn’t even present in the other two films. Kylo’s redemption took a back seat to destroying Palpatine. Even the resistance was focused on Palps. He just flew in out of nowhere. Again some of the concepts were quite good but the movie itself fit in to the rest of the trilogy pooly imo.

I have an overall beef with the main trio as well and how infrequently they are actually together, but I’ve had that since TFA. neat characters, not really a trio, mainly because of how they kept stacking them with the OT trio.

#star wars #star wars spoilers #star wars rise of skywalker #i think that's everything i needed to get out of my system before i head to bed. good night.

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sulietsexual · 6 years ago

Note

Could you elaborate why you were dissapointed in season 3 of Stranger Things? I haven't seen it yet but feel free to spoil stuff, already saw tons of gifsets on here.

royalweirdonj said:Thoughts on Stranger Things 3?

Okay, so I have some mixed feelings about this season, so I’ll talk about both the good and the bad and why I was ultimately disappointed with this season (at least in part). So we’ll start with …

What I Liked

First and foremost, I absolutely loved what they did with El’s character development and characterisation this season. El is a character who hasn’t really had the chance to grow or develop because she’s always so isolated and/or going through so much trauma. In Season 1 she was basically just a traumatised child and in Season 2 Hopper kept her very isolated and her weird sojourn to find her mother and her sister didn’t feel authentic to me. But this season finally gave her the opportunity to start to develop her own sense of self and I loved that, especially the medium through which she did so, ie her friendship with Max.

We’ve all wanted this friendship since Season 2 but I don’t think that any of us realised how glorious it would be. El is a reserved and unsure character (when she’s not being pushed to save everyone) and so she really needed someone like Max in her corner, someone who was loud and assertive, who would stand up for her when she couldn’t stand up for herself and who could show her how to be more dominant and make her own boundaries and rules. I loved the shopping montage, particularly the part where Max helped her pick out clothes that felt like her (”Not like Hopper or Mike, but like you.”), as well as their sleepovers, the way they investigated everything together and the bond which formed from them being the only girls in a group of boys who didn’t always understand each other. It was a really sweet and organic friendship and I’m so glad that the Duffers decided to develop it.

And speaking of friendships, I also adored the dynamic between Steve and Robyn, the way the show turned what we all thought would be a romantic relationship on its head and instead turned it into a sweet and snarky friendship between two people who genuinely liked one another. Robyn herself was a great character and her presence on the show greatly improved the overall tone. I loved how smart and quirky and snarky she was and Mia Hawke really made the character feel authentic. And I really loved the subversion of her and Steve’s relationship and her coming out scene. Steve Harrington proved what an absolute cinnamon roll he is with his reaction to her coming out; I loved that his only response was to tell her that she needed better taste in women and I loved that in the Three Months Later sequence they were still besties looking for jobs in the same place so they could stick together.

Steve Harrington remained the awesome character he’s always been. Loved that his and Dustin’s friendship is still so intact and that they still care about one another so much. Also loved him sneaking the other kids into the movies on a regular basis. And I liked how the series demonstrated that while he isn’t book smart, he’s smart in other ways, such as figuring out where the music on the recording came from or using the vial of green substance to jam the elevator door open. It shows that he knows how to think on his feet and that he pays attention to his surroundings and is street-smart. I love what they’re doing with his character, allowing him to continue to grow into a more kind, smart and compassionate character with every season.

Also, I loved seeing Science Teacher Scott Clarke again! I missed him in Season 2, so seeing his epic reappearance was amazing! Wish he’d been in more than just one episode.

Characters aside (although, I should mention that I love Joyce Beyers more with every season, her “Mom Voicing” the Government was brilliant and I liked that they touched on her grief over Bob’s death) but that aside, the season felt really well-paced. Only having eight episodes meant that the story progressed quickly and there wasn’t a lot of filler, which was good. There was also so much excitement and action going on that it was very easy to binge-watch the whole season. That being said, I feel like the season changed direction mid-way through, which brings me to …

What I Didn’t Like

Following on from the previous paragraph, I feel like Season 3 started as a character-based season and then quickly switched to a plot-driven season (and on an added note, I was kind of annoyed that the plot this season was literally the same as last season ie the Mind Flayer has taken over someone close to one of the party members and they have to close the gate to stop them - again. Also, the subplot with the Russians was kind of lame).

There was so much characterisation laid down in the first half of the season which was then kind of forgotten about in the second half once the action got underway and then was never resolved. Will spends most of the first three or four episode lamenting his lost childhood and desperately trying to re-connect with his friends. It’s heartbreaking to see how much he craves the days before everything, the days where he felt safe, where his friends were there for him and not concerned with their romantic entanglements. It was actually a really interesting look into Will’s character and how he’s desperately clinging to the old days but once the Mind Flayer comes into play, this is pretty much dropped. Aside from a half-hearted attempt from Lucas to bridge the gap, Will’s disconnect from his friends and the fact that they’re growing up faster than he is and therefore growing apart from him is never addressed again, leaving this particular thread unfinished.

Hopper’s characterisation and his storyline regarding being a parent to a thirteen-year-old was also left unresolved. Overall, I didn’t love Hopper’s characterisation this season. He seemed overly aggressive and I really didn’t like that he got so drunk when Joyce didn’t turn up for their date. He’s obviously having communication issues with El, and the opportunity to resolve these issues died along with him. His jealousy over any man who even talked to Joyce was irritating and I didn’t like that he essentially threatened a fourteen-year-old kid and seemed pleased with himself when said kid then hurt his daughter (because it meant that he got his way and that’s all that mattered). I understand why he was so alarmed with El and Mike spending so much time together but the fact that this never got resolved in an adult manner irritated me. And his death, well, we’ll talk about that soon because that pissed me off beyond belief.

Billy’s character needed more depth. I did feel a bit sorry for him this season and he definitely felt like a better character than the previous season, but any development he had (including his relationship with Max) happened offscreen, so it was hard to believe that Max would grieve for him so much after everything we saw him do to her in Season 2. Obviously things have gotten better between the two of them and Billy himself is nowhere near as gross as he was (although he’s still a dick) but we never got to see this growth/development, so it was hard to really empathise with his character or feel grief over his passing, even for Max.

Nancy’s character felt (once again) kind of useless this season and her storyline was (once again) so separate from the main storyline that I really feel that it could have been removed entirely and it wouldn’t have made a lick of difference. Also, I get that we were supposed to feel that she was being treated in a sexist manner by the men at the newspaper but, I mean, she was only an intern. She wasn’t there as a reporter, she was working as a intern and it’s an intern’s job to run menial tasks such as getting coffee, picking up lunch and doing boring tasks like photocopying and filing and the bad treatment she received seemed to be based more off her intern status than her gender. Also, what did she think, that she would become some groundbreaking reporter based off a summer job with zero experience or writing credentials? Lastly, Jonathan barely felt like a character this season, his sole reason to exist seemed to be to prop up Nancy’s storyline and I hated that after Jonathan delivered that epic (and entirely true) speech about how Nancy didn’t understand the lower class and how he needed the job and wasn’t born with the same silver spoon in his mouth that she was, he then turned around and apologised and said that he was wrong (which he totally wasn’t). Yet another example of Nancy treating a boyfriend like crap and getting away with it, but hey, “feminism”!

I also didn’t really like the dynamic they wrote between Joyce and Hop. It was good at first, with him going to her for advice on how to deal with El and Mike. But once she “stood him up” and they developed that weird snarky “banter”, I found myself growing tired of the dynamic. Also, bringing back the creepy conspiracy theorist from Season 2 to tell them they needed to bang (like he did with Nancy and Jonathan) was, again, so annoying. I hate when characters are told that they have feelings for one another, rather than developing naturally. So yeah, never been much of a Jopper shipper and this season made me even less so. Bring back Bob!

Oh, and lastly, Erica Sinclair is the most annoying little snot of a character. I didn’t find her entertaining at all. She was rude, obnoxious and mean, horrible to pretty much every character, took advantage of Scoops tasting policy while acting like an entitled brat and I just honestly could not stand her. I wish they’d left her out of the Steve/Robyn/Dustin dynamic, she was just such an unnecessary addition.

What I Hated

So, characterisation issues and weird bait-and-switches between it and plot aside, there were a couple of aspects to the new season which I truly hated.

First of all, this season was unnecessarily violent. Like, I get that there’s been violence in this show before, but it’s always been stylized violence, usually aimed at bad guys and quite subdued. But this season? Wow. Starting with that horrible imagine spot where Billy envisions bashing Karen Wheeler’s head in, it just never let up. Having grown men savagely beat up teenagers was way more than I needed to see and the violence often seemed really gratuitous and unnecessarily drawn-out. Steve’s torture at the hands of the Russians was really hard to take, especially because it went on for so long. I hated having to watch them punch Robyn in the face. Jonathan’s brutal beat-down from the Flayed Editor of the paper was horrible to watch and, once again, went on for way too long. Also, watching Flayed!Billy literally choke, punch and smack thirteen-year-old El around was horrifying. Also, his taking of Heather (and later on his attempt to take El) was incredibly rape-y, what with him leaning over them while they were incapacitated and telling them “Don’t move/struggle”, “It will be over soon”. Totally uncalled for and incredibly hard to watch. Maybe I’m oversensitive but I honestly don’t think that the show needed to display that level of violence.

The character assassination of Karen Wheeler continued, with her and her creepy middle-aged mom friends sitting poolside to perv on a eighteen-year-old kid. Imagine if the genders were reversed and it was four middle-aged men perving on a young girl? Also, why would she even consider sleeping with a teenage boy? Sigh. Remember when Karen Wheeler was a concerned and caring parent, who was strong enough to yell at government officials when they wouldn’t tell her what was going on and dropped by a grieving friend’s house with food and comfort? At least she and Nancy had that sweet scene in which she was encouraging to her daughter, but the rest of the time she was just useless and didn’t even know where her kids were.

Speaking of which, why did this show separate Joyce and Hop from their kids for so long? And why on earth would Joyce and Hop be willing to be separated from their kids for so long, after everything they went through the previous year? It felt so OOC for them to not even be suspicious that they hadn’t spoken to either of their children for at least three days, just taking the word of other parents that their kids were alright.

And lastly, the thing which pissed me off the most and actually made both me and my husband instantly switch off from the show and feel like we had just wasted eight hours watching this season, the death of Jim Hopper.

I know, I know, the Stinger maybe hinted that he was still alive. I know we didn’t see a body. I know that there were hints of time travel in future seasons and that Jim Hopper possibly isn’t dead. But you know who doesn’t know this? The characters. And I hate that. I hate that El has now lost her father, less than two years after finally finding one. I hate that she’s now alone, separated from Mike and while, yes, Joyce will take care of her the best she can, it’s never going to be the same. I hate that Joyce now has to suffer through the heartbreak of losing yet another man she had feelings for, less than a year after she lost the first. I hate that she made the decision to move away (even though I understand it) which separated her kids from their relationships and removed El from the one person who still loves her with all his heart. I hate that the season ended on such a downer, with such loss and tragedy and sadness. It really brought down the whole season for me and left me with a horrible, sad and empty feeling and not at all looking forward to more seasons because of all the crap the characters have gone through.

Whew. That got really long. Hope this was coherent!

#psychoticdelena #royalweirdonj #stranger things #stranger things spoilers #stranger things season 3 #answered

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chrysolina · 7 years ago

Text

My eternal love

Summary - The feeling of having, knowing and believing you have a totally unrequited love for someone can often make most people feel undeserving of such a pathetic fantasy in the future - but does everyone share that same view?

Pairings - Chris Evans x reader, Chris Evans x Jenny Slate, Reader x OC!

Warnings - swearing, angst, unexpected happenings

A/N - Here it is! Part 2 of My love! Enjoy! <3

“And that’s it, congratulations again Miss Y/L/N. We’ll see you on Monday,” the audition panel smiled and waved you off once you thanked them graciously and signed on the dotted paper, your signature being the last one they needed to begin filming ‘Practicion’.

You quickly wandered out of the studio hangar, zipped up well into your short tartan trench coat and out onto the forecourt where you were met by the cool LA January air that kissed your cheeks eagerly. Picking up your phone from your coat pocket, 6:13pm, the locksreen read. Jack would be here any minute now to pick you up and take you to dinner.

You scrolled aimelssly through your phone, your boredom quickly taking over. You took a quick glance at the three missed text messages you had and decided it should be wise to text back your sister and manager with whatever they were asking about or for. As if on its own, your thumb scrolled through the messages list and almost accidentally landed on the one name you swore you deleted - Crusty Evans - also known as, Chris Evans.

Your heart, mind and face cringed at the old nickname you had given him ages ago. It had been little over five months since you had last heard from Chris. From what the internet blogs, magazines and paparazzi rumours told you on an unnecessary week-to-week basis was that Jenny and Chris did spilt for a short amount of time but are - apparently - still ‘seeing each other’.

They must’ve been doing pretty well together since according to an inside source, the couple were last seen looking very happy out and around Tribeca, allegedly trying to find an apartment to live in together.

Why they had to come and live so close to where you and your family lived was beyond infuriating for you and your family.

However, your papa dismissed the idea that any of you would ever see them since ‘they are nobody’s to us’. ‘I wish I could believe you papa’ you thought to yourself as the words repeated themselves in your head ‘but they’ll always be someone’s in this world.”

Before your mind could digest the toxic thought of the couple together, a car horn cut through the chilly air and diverted your attention to where the noise came from.

An unmistakable sleek all black range rover was parked idle by the gates, waiting for someone - more specifically, you. Jack’s new car was certainly a beauty alright, wherever he went in it and wherever you saw it, the black luxury car demanded attention from onlookers - sometimes making you squirm in your seat on the days you’d accompany him somewhere.

In many respects, the car was very much like Jack himself.

Your face broke out into a smile as you pulled the the pricey car door open and was met by the charming Scotsman’s classic smirk. “Why good evenin’ m’lady,” Jack tried to charm you with his thickest Scottish accent possible which only made you laugh in return “did ya get the role?” He merely rolled his eyes at your laugh and began to turn the car around. “I sure did, got it with flying colours - apparently,” You squealed and jumped excitedly up and down in your seat and took Jack hand from the gearstick and shook it for effect.

“Alright you,” he pulled his hand away from your grip and focused back on the LA roads ahead of you “so where would you like to eat tonight? Wendy’s? Chick-fil-a? In-and-out?” Your stomach grumbled at the mere names of the fast food joints. “Wherever it is tho, food’s on me; got it? No buts, I insist.” Your lips turned upwards at Jack’s gentlemanly manner of buying you food.

Food, yes, that was what you were deciding on. After a second or two of short-wired thinking, your finally decided on where to eat. “How about we just go for a classic McDonalds, hm?” You watched eagerly as the Scotsman thought it through and twisted his face in (fake) thought. “Alright then, McDonalds it is.”

The rest of the car ride to the drive-thru was pleasantly quiet bar the sound of Jack’s playlist humming from the speakers. You weren’t bothered by that, you were just enjoying the sights of golden windows around you as the city lit up for the night.

“Tell me again Y/N,” Jack broke through the silence peacefully, making you whip your head around to the man before you “who and what is your role in this film?” The film - of course. You had even forgotten yourself considering first auditions were so long ago “Well, I am playing the role of the main romantic interest of her businessman-husband who is also a recovering drug addict. I think..” As hard as it was, you tried to pluck out who you actually were in the film through all the paperwork you had to sign today, scraping it as you did so.

“Hm, well so long as they have good teeth, you’ll be alright with kissing them huh?” Jack smirked at you and ran his tongue over his plush lips. You chuckled at the now-auburney haired Scot as you recalled the horror of your prom date all those years ago and how digusting his teeth looked once you got up close to kiss him. “Fingers crossed, just in case though,” you and Jack laughed again and watched as the Golden Arches of McDonadls came into view.

“So, what would miss Y/L/N like for food tonight hm? Burger? Fries? McFlurry? Or how about..Me?”

“Jack!”

•••••••

As if as the norm lately, your weekend spent up in the reclusive estates of Hollywood in your own little rented place was easy, relaxing and consisted of nothing more than eating your own home cooked meals, binge watching your favourite shows on Netflix, learning the new script as best as you could and sleeping until late.

It was a great way to ease yourself back into the rush of filming and took your mind off other minute things that floated around your mind.

Before you knew it, 9am rolled around quicker than anticipated and you found yourself being walked by an assistant to the main studio you’d just left that Friday before. Your eyes were quick to take everything in again, routes to the trailers, toilets etc - they all needed to be mapped out by yourself in due course.

Trotting through the main doors to the first - of many - sets and waited whilst the assistant went to look for the director and other cast members.

In the meantime, to calm your nerves, you began to smooth out your short black pencil skirt and toyed wth the sleeves of your white and black lined tailored jacket. In all fairness, your looks were definitely matching up to your status in Hollywood - clean, sweet and professional.

Everything most directors looked for in an actor or actress.

“Where is she?!” The booming voice of the director could be heard throughout the building, making you wince at the volume of his gruff voice.

All of a sudden, out of a door in the distance burst out a short, slightly chubby middle aged tanned man with a thick lit cigarette hanging from his seemingly chapped lips - lined by a grey black moustache. His hair was a little scarse, Black and grey in areas and cut very short - but overall, he looked pleasant enough.

“Ah you must be the infamous Y/N Y/L/N! Welcome welcome, it’s an absolute honour to have you here today.” The director began to talk to you but all you could pick up on was his familiar New York- Italian accent - one that you’d most definitely have if it wasn’t for travelling the world.

“Please, sir; the honour’s all mine,” you quickly thanked his graces about you and excused them as silly and unfitting for someone like yourself. “Oh please darlin’, you’re worth all the hype.”

The director winked at you and shot you a genuine smile in return, one you mirrored almost instantly “and don’t worry about the ‘sir’ thing Y/N, just call me Joe,” before you could thank him on the comfort of calling him his real name, Joe shouted out - seemingly - to his PA that stood a few metres away.

“Marie! Darlin, call him back in,” the young lady only nodded and trotted off someone to the side of the set behind a wall to find someone.

“I’ve yet to introduce you to your co-stars haven’t I?” Your voice was a blubber out of the new oncoming embarrassment and only trusted your head to do the talking, nodding in agreement. Your newest crew had evidently caught wind of your arrival were quick inforce to come and see, greet and meet you.

“Sir, I got him. He’s comin’ now,” the PA quickly shouted out from the wall she disappeared from and disappeared around it again.Who were they on about? Was it your other romantic interest - the drug addict businessman? Who knows.

Before your mind festered any more, you could hear the imminent of clicking heels aiming from the wall the PA came from. Surely it couldn’t have been a woman - the footing of his person was too deep and long to be that of someone in heels.

“Y/N, I’d like you to meet your main co-star, the Chris Evans.”

‘Oh shit!’

••••••

Time seemed infinate and everlasting as you sat hunched over in the plush leather chair you were given in your trailer. Judging by your emotionless stare into nowhere specific, anyone looking at you would say you’re just daydreaming, sleepy or even bored - but you were far from any of those things.

Your mind was running at a million miles a minute, every stupidly minute thought you ever pushed aside during the past five months had all resurfaced and were causing your poor brain havoc.

You wished it wasn’t true - no, you prayed in your hands and knees that this was all just some silly joke. He wasn’t really going to be the actor you’d actually have to kiss and be romantic to once the cameras were rolling, was he? He couldn’t have been - why Chris?

He had marvel films and soon-to-be broadway appearances to be dealing with, he shouldn’t really be here in reality. Maybe this was all just a big fat mistake; a joke that everyone will laugh off in a couple of hours, right? Well...one can hope, you supposed.

With your back to your trailer’s door, your mind allowed you to think that the assistant who was getting lunch for everyone had come back and came with food, so without caution you just called out “The door’s open,” and expected the assistant to waltz in on her own accord.

“Hey, I - uh - brought some lunch for you.” That voice - damn that smooth Boston accented voice - it was here, right behind you. Just over a metre away from you stood the (anxious) man of your nightmares these past couple of months. At the mere sound of his voice, you shot up out to the chair you resides in and whipped your head around to look at him dead in the eye.

The look of shock-horror plastered your face like a pantomime mask, you just couldn’t help it. It was agiven reaction and so was Chris’ in all fairness. He was bewildered by the look on your face and only sent his brain further into it’s shell, his anxiety picking up that bit more. With the paper bag in one hand, Chris began rubbing the nape of his neck and shoulder - a habit you found to have stemmed from his anxiety.

“I thought maybe we could - uh - catch up or well, moreso me apologising for..everything.” It wasn’t until the end of his sentence he finally looked back into your eyes, your posture suddenly relaxing that little bit more, understanding that Chris had only good intentions from being here.

Moving away from your armchair, you decided to collect your lunch from Chris and serve it up - Chicken Caesar salad - your new favourite. Chris quickly gave you the paper bag and watched you help yourself to cutlery, bowls and bottles of water from the stylish yet homely mini kitchen.

“Would it be wrong of me to imagine that you have a bit of a grudge against me right now?” There it was - you wondered how long it’d take for the confident, assured Chris to come through again - evidently not long enough.

“No, you’d be bang on the money,” you huffed and began tossing the salad in the ceramic bowl, those blue eyes continuously boring into your uncomfortable frame - just like the did the whole time you met your fellow cast members- Chris got on your heels the whole time.

“Lucky me hmm,” Chris hummed to himself, tucked his hands in his tan jean pockets, making the light blue shirt he wore bulge around his Adonis-like muscles and leant against the dresser. Why this had to feel like some sort of meetup by two ex’s was beyond you but you thought nothing of it as you set your salad, bottle and cutlery down in the space you were intending to eat from. That was until Chris wedged his body into you, preventing you from moving.

“Y/N, we - I can’t keep doing this. This whole avoidance game, I’ve had enough.” His eyes looked down into yours with a heat that you couldn’t stand on a day like today. Much like him, his look was strong and confident and it made you squirm in your spot.

“I don’t think there’s much more I can say to get us out of this limbo, Chris.” You dared not to look into those eyes and tried to turn away from him, but in just one breath of air, his muscular form was now pressed up against you; breasts to chest, stomach to stomach, you were officially toast.

“Oh I beg to differ Y/N. There’s nothing more Jack can say for you but I think you’re a completely different picture. You have a lot more to say, don’t you darlin’..” you watched intently as Chris’ hand slid out from his tan jeans and out to play with the hem of your jacket.

The air between you was palpable, you could feel his short warm breaths tickling the apex of your neck, the way his muscles rippled against your body after every movement he made. The air was choking you and you hated it.

“Perhaps I do, but I think you’ll find my words will have a very similar ring to Jack’s,” a sudden burst of confidences surged through your veins and made you straighten your spine in defiance to this beautiful menace. Your confindence led you to look right where you didn’t want to and only found hunger in return. Chris’ eyes were lit up with an unmentionable hunger that you couldn’t digest, making you quiver even more.

“Tell me something darlin’, are you and that McCallister a thing? Are you two..dating?” You continuously locked eye contact with the actor and winched in pain as his smirk grew wider, deeper and more mischievous by the second.

“N-no. We’re just very - very - good friends. Nothin’ more!” You denied all the claims Chris tried to pin on you feverishly, trying through every means to keep your image of Jack clean as possible. However, it was evident in Chris’ furrowed brows and darkened stare, he wasn’t having it today.

“Not even friends with benefits? ‘Cause I’ve seen plenty of pictures of you and him together and nothin’, not one inch of those pictures tell me that you’re just friends.” How it was even possible that Chris’ tone could drop another two or three octaves was beyond you. The deep rumble of his chest against yours and the bitterness of his tone solidified your thoughts, he was jealous.

Deciding that now might not be the time to push any buttons, you tried your best to put out the fire Chris had started. “I - I think that’s something you’d have to ask Jack himself. I can’t comment for him if he does have feelings for me.”

“Oh,” Chris chided mockingly, his hand stopping all movement on your jacket “So he does have feelings for you? Aren’t I a genius..” still refusing to make even the slightest bit of eye contact, you tried to wriggle out of his imaginative hold - failing miserably as you did so.

At the thought of you wriggling away, Chris’ hand flew to waist and gripped you possessively tight - he just had to know if you had fallen for the Scotsman over him - he had to. “And do you reciprocate these feelings for him? Hm?”

“Maybe in d-due time..” They do say that the heart is very very precious and Chris knew no different.

His heart dropped ten miles underground at your confession and his eyes began to prick with the hot tears of nearing heartbreak. You were refusing to give in to him - something was holding you back from him and he had to find out what or die trying.

“And what about now?” He chided coolly, the change in tone made you look at him scrutinisingly. “Honestly Y/N, do you have feelings for him as of right now?”

“I don’t...” to think such a small sentence could lift his heart was unbelievable to Chris but filled him with internal joy all the same. Instead of easing up on his hold on you, Chris chose to close in on you even further and cage you in his arms - your body stuck between his and the dresser behind.

“And do you have any feelings for anyone in particular right now?” You knew what he wanted to hear right now, hell - you were close to giving him it. But with being so close to him and in the full knowledge that he had a girlfriend - you weren’t so keen to give him what he wanted.

“Not especially, no.” You deadpanned your time and took to looking straight into his eyes again, watching his eyebrows shoot up his face in undeniable shock.

“Not even for someone like..me?” He chided at you again and pressed his body closer to yours, angling you in such a way one could call it erotic - you, however, begged to differ entirely.

“I think you know the answer to that question, Christopher.” You snorted at his high-hopes, hoping and praying he’d just leave you alone to eat your untouched salad.

Your heart and mind were tearing apart by the seams, one half of you wanted to slap, kick and hit him in all the places it’d hurt the most, the other half of you just wanted to jump his bones here and now, give in to himself and indulge your worst thoughts.

But that would never come to be.

“I actually don’t, do please enlighten me on it.” His mischievous smirk had returned again for the worse and cranked up the anger metre in your mind.

“Fine! You win! I did have feelings for you, yes; I was bordering on loving you, yes. But that and everything else were all ruined the day you decided that fucking bitch you still call girlfriend!” You yelped in anger, pain and grief and tried to push Chris away by his chest, failing in doing so entirely. The tears that were stashed away were now making an appearance and began to stream down your clenched face, ruining your mascara and eyeliner in the process.

Chris didn’t know what to do with this information, you had just confessed that you were romantically attracted to the man and here he was, dumbfounded and generally reeling. He didn’t believe Jack’s word on the phone, he thought they were just to dig at him but now - now, god he was so wrong. “W-what girlfriend?”

“Don’t play stupid now Chris, you know who I’m talking about..” your voice wavered and cracked at his stupidity over the situation.

“Oh, we’re talking about Jenny now, are we?” His voice was suddenly pointed, shard and bitterly cold and made you shiver in fear over what’d he’d say next.

“Who fucking else would I be on about, Chris?”

“Considering I’ve been single since December, I’m finding it hard to think about any ‘girlfriend’ I’m with as of right now..” you felt his head tilt upwards and a heave of air rush from his lips. “I’m calling bullshit, Chris.” You winced in memory of seeing the claims all across the internet, Jenny spending Christmas with his family, the house-hunting, all of it, how could it all be a lie?

“You really think I’m bullshitting right now? Really Y/N?” Chris’s chin came to rest upon your head and you felt the familiar hands wrap around your shorter frame, hugging you tenderly close to him, your hands still stuck in shock on his chest. “You’d be surprised..” you sighed into the tender warm hold of the actor, a feeling you dearly missed, feelings or no feelings at all.

“You have no clue how much I’ve been hurting these past months Y/N, I didn’t think I could want anyone as much as Jenny..but fuck, did you screw me over..” chris chucked at the memories of him reeling over the new found feelings he had for you, realising you weren’t with him anymore and no longer share the same feelings. “Is that meant to be a good thing or a bad thing? I’m having a hard time telling right now Chris..” he laughed again at your sarcastic, straight-to-the-point question, your charm never ceases to leave you after all this time.

“It’s a very good thing, well..that’s if you still feel the same way as you did back then.” He remived his hands from your frame and cupped your wet cheeks in his hands to look at you thoroughly. You looked at him with such a look of longing chris just couldn’t help what he did next. He’d be damned if he never did it and would regret it for the rest of his life.

Wordlessly, Chris quickly joined your lips together in a smouldering yet very endearing kiss. His lips moved and slid between your perfectly, like a missing piece of a jigsaw, fitting you perfectly. Your hands froze open on his chest, your eyes forced wide open at the sudden intimate contact.

It wasn’t until Chris began to move his lips slowly against your own that you realised it - you finally realised that no matter how much pain was done, how much you tried to combat your feelings with denial, you still loved the bastard with all your heart - and that was something you could never change.

Before Chris could pull away in heartbreak over your refusal of his love, you yanked in shirt forward into you and kissed him as if it was the last time, your hands running up his neck and found purchase on his prickly hairy cheeks. Your kiss wasn’t anything like Chris’, trepardising in some areas and soft; yours was passionate and fierce, the kind of kiss the two of you would have to fight for dominance over.

Pulling away slowly, the two of you held your stare into each other’s eyes and lost each other in them. You wanted to kiss him again, and again and again but instead, you focused only on him, the man you fell for so stupidly. Instead of holding you for longer, chris decided to take purchase in the plush seat on front of the dresser and sat you in his lap, his eyes never leaving yours as he relished in the feeling of you playing with the ends of his slightly longer than usual hair.

“My god..where have you been my whole life?” Chris whispered and shook his head in bewilderment and listened to the melodic tune of your giggle ring in his ear. “Right under your nose, silly..” you swiped the bottom of his nose with your index finger and ran your fingers through his growing beard. This had to have been a dream, you didn’t believe for one minute that this was happening - you were actually in Chris’ lap stroking his face like a lovesick baby.

“How will I ever make it up to you Y/N?” He whipsered quietly, running his fingers along your tack and up and down your arm in a soothing manner. You smiled warmly at the softness of the question and thought over how he could make it up to you. “Well, I think it’d take an awful lot of hugs, kisses, time and attention just for being such a bad boy..” you smiled like a Cheshire Cat once his eyes fluttered closed at the sensation of your hands soothing his face, a knowing smirk then beginning to grow after you finished talking.

“What?” You laughed at the smirk on those heavenly lips “you do know I’ll always be a bad boy when I’m around you, right?” You sighed and shook your head at Chris’ mark and only embraced his frame, your hands wrapped around the back of his neck. “Not in public you won’t, will you?” You whispered into his neck firmly whilst your lips found their way around his neck, sucking and kissing certain areas.

“For you darlin’, I’ll be your angel and your devil.”

•••••••

A/N - I just wanna thank everyone for reading this little fic going on and hoped everyone enjoyed it as much as I did! <33

Taglist : @dlb113 @coffeebooksandfandom @chrisevans1fan @badtzmarurogers

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limeros · 7 years ago

Text

I hate Rowan Whitethorn!

Alright people, the time has finally come. Time for me to rant and roast the one and only Rowan Whitethorn (aka Rowboat Whiteporn), the worst fictional character ever created. Am I being dramatic? Maybe. I have tried hard to try and like him, to see why people love him so much. Usually, if I hate a character that people love, I usually can see why people love them. But with Rowan I can’t. Literally everything about him makes me cringe. Every time I see him or hear of him I just want to gag and punch something.

Rowan Whitethorn is a main protagonist in Sarah J. Maas’s Throne of Glass series. He is introduced in the third book in the series, Heir of Fire, as the Prince of Doranelle. He is fae and over 300 years old and has silver hair and pine green eyes. He is often described as very tall and muscular with tan skin. Many say that he is quite handsome. He is the first to join Aelin Galathynius’s court and helps her try to win back her kingdom of Terrasen.

Doesn’t sound too bad does he? Well, guess again.

Okay, I honestly did not want to hate him at first. I had several friends recommend these books for me. And one of them, her favorite character is Rowan and she loves him a lot. She kept telling me that I would. So when I met him, I was excited to see him and get to know him. I’m not kidding, I was. Let’s just say, he’s an ass in the beginning of Heir of Fire. My friend agreed with me on that and told me that he got better and that I’ll love him later on. And that was not the case. The more and more I read about him, the more and more I hated him. Like it went from dislike, to strongly dislike, to hate, to despise. Yes, you saw that right, I despise Rowan Whitethorn.

Okay, sorry that I won't have any quotes, my books are currently not with me so bear with me, I will not be using an direct quotes.

Now, when we first meet Rowan, he's this rude, moody fae male who basically hates Celaena because she won't do what he wants her to do. So he hits her, he shoves her around, he calls her horrible things. Now, I'm not a big fan of Celaena either (but that's a whole different story), but I felt bad for her because she is not in a good mental state in the beginning of this book and Rowan is just bullying her. It goes so bad at one point, Rowan bites her neck to get her to shift into fae. Yes, you read that right. Rowan fucking bit her neck. THAT IS NOT OKAY! Celaena made it clear that she wasn't able to shift on her own and instead of helping her, he bit her. And not just anywhere, her neck. A place that is very sensitive and for some people and intimate place. He bit her so hard that she started bleeding, he had her blood on his teeth. AND HE FUCKING SMILED AFTER DOING IT!

Just when you think it couldn't get any worse, after she tries to defend herself, he calls her weak and says that the world would've been better if she just died ten years ago in the frozen river. YOU DON’T SAY THAT TO PEOPLE! Especially someone who is such a horrible mental state as Celaena. And that event ten years ago is such a touchy and scarring event for Celaena so that fact that he had the guts to even bring it up is not okay. His comment here is basically telling her to go commit suicide because the world would be better off without her. As someone who has been suicidal before, this makes me so fucking mad. You never EVER tell anyone this, no matter how terrible they are.

I know Rowan stans often try to say “oh well, Celaena egged him on.” or “Well Celaena hit him too.” Yes, she did hit him, but only after he hit her first. And she did it to protect herself! She did it to try and get him to stop! So, you're saying she's not allowed to protect herself? Because, hell, I'd do the exact same thing. This man just bit me, hit me, told me the world would be better off without me, you bet my ass I'd try to hit him back to get him away from me.

Okay, yeah, he does try to redeem himself and he does help save her from monsters but still, that doesn't just erase the shit he's done to Celaena. I still find his personality repulsive.

Okay, moving into Queen of Shadows. The whole Rowan and Aelin romance came out of nowhere for me. At the end of Heir of Fire, they're like badass bffs who are Carranam. And to be completely honest, if Rowan and Aelin had stayed friends, I think I may have liked him. I'm not kidding. He may have warmed up to me and I would've probably liked him. But of course, the two singles had to become a thing, even though Rowan had a wife and mate a while ago who tragically died.

There's only, like, 3 weeks time span between the two books. And in those three weeks, Aelin (who made it clear that she only saw Rowan as a friend) is now basically in love with Rowan. Um, okay? And this leads to another reason as to why I hate Rowan. Chaol’s character development. Now before you yell at me “Kels, what does Chaol have to do with Rowan?” hear me out. In Heir of Fire Chaol had really good development and really grew as a character. And even though he still felt something for Aelin, he was fine with not ever having a chance with her again. And Aelin still feels something for Chaol, maybe not romantically, but at least some sort of human connection.

Then you have them meet again in Queen of Shadows and suddenly, in those 3 weeks, Chaol suddenly loses all his character development and acts like a little whiny bitch who hates Aelin and Aelin hates Chaol and says that she never even loved him.

“What does this have to do with Rowan?” you ask? Well, the reason Chaol is a total bitch (and so out of character, literally everything he did in that book was nothing like the Chaol I knew #notmychaol) is so Rowan Whitethorn, the perfect, sexy, fae looks like the better option as a love interest for Aelin. Yeah, that's right. SARAH J. MAAS RUINED CHAOLS DEVELOPMENT AND MADE HIM A BITCH TO MAKE ROWAN LOOK BETTER!

To be honest, I don't even care who Aelin chooses, she can choose Rowan all she wants. That even works in my favor because I ship Chaol and Dorian (which is whole different story, don't even get me started on them). So Aelin choosing Rowan means nothing to me. So that's why I'm so pissed that Sarah ruined Chaol, my favorite character, to make Rowan look better, who she clearly favors over everyone.

While we’re on the subject, I would like to state a common theory that Rowan stans think of us Anti Rowan people. They think that we hate Rowan because Aelin chose him over Chaol. I don't give a shit about that. That's not even close to a reason as to why I hate Rowan. Aelin can date whoever the hell she wants and I'd still probably hate Rowan.

Okay, moving on from that little bit, let's address on the reason Rowan is even here shall we. Oh wait, there is no point. He's been in three books, three long books and I see absolutely no reason for him to be there except to be horny and want to bone Aelin. That's right folks. He's just horny and territorial.

Let me explain. In both Queen of Shadows and Empire of Storms, Rowan is acting all horny over Aelin, a 19 year old girl. We've already established that Rowan is 300+ years old. Yep, a 300+ year old fae male is obsessing over a 19 year old girl. I'm 19 and that just makes me super uncomfortable. I don't care if he's immortal and super hot, get away from me you horny slut.

He basically spends all his time being super protective of her and not the cute protective, like the obsessive protective. He's territorial, he sees Aelin as his own, like as a thing that he owns. Not as a human being. Aelin often calls him a territorial fae bastard as a joke, but it shouldn't be a joke! It's not cool. Everyone knows that Aelin is capable of taking care of herself. Not only that, he gets all jealous and mean whenever she's around other men. Like she can't even breathe near them. How is this attractive to anyone? He's claiming her and it's not cute at all. It's so, so disturbing. Especially when he looks at her like she's an object, thinks of her like an object. He's horny and thinks of wanting to have sex with her and again, she's only 19 and that’s just super disturbing to me.

Now, into Empire of Storms he just gets even more territorial and obsessive over her. He only thinks of her, but not her, just her body and how he can have sex with her. I HATE it. Like calm down, you horny son of a bitch. Like, there is literally no point in him being there except to touch her, make out with her, and be horny over her when she's not around. If you were to take nun out of the story, the plot wouldn't really change at all. I have tried these last 3 books to see anything redeemable in him but I can't. Like, he has no redeemable qualities whatsoever.

And then there’s that dreaded Rowaelin sex scene that stans obsess over. Yeah, that quite unnecessary five page long, descriptive, sex scene. The scene that I had to suffer listening to on audio book while I drove to pick up my sister. And I couldn't skip it. So, for those five pages, I had to suffer listening to them hitting it up on a beach. I've never cringed or gagged so much in my life. Sarah literally said, and I quote, that Rowan's dick is like “velvet wrapped steel”. WHAT?? I can't believe this scene was in a YA book. There are some 13 year olds who read these and I can't imagine them having to read that. I was 18 at the time and I was scarred from it. It was honestly more graphic and descriptive than Game of Thrones and that is saying something. It wasn't much better than reading a smutty fanfic on Tumblr.

Right okay, enough of that horror. Right after, Rowan waded in the sea to keep the marks of Aelin’s fingernails going into his skin from healing. It's like he wanted the world to know that he was taken by the fingernail marks. I'm sorry, but I definitely do not want my S/O to keep my fingernail marks on him. That's disgusting. Not cute. Disgusting.

After the two hook up (which they do multiple times, ugh) Rowan says that he never felt anything like that before. Um, buddy, you had a wife and mate over 200 years ago…is Lyria chopped liver now? (Okay she is, but that's not the point.)(also, Aelin literally burst into flames while they were hooking up. Don't you love when your girlfriend bursts into flames while your having sex with her?)

And just when you think Rowan couldn't get any more territorial and annoying, he does. He's even more protective, he doesn't even allow Aelin around men anymore. He just thinks of having sex with her again. Plus he has this really weird earlobe fetish….like who gets turned on by earlobes??? It's. Really. Weird. And. Disturbing. Once again, he's only there to be horny and have sex with Aelin, nothing new honestly.

Oh and the two of them decided to get married and found out that they're actually mates??? Apparently Maeve tricked Rowan into thinking that Lyria was his mate so he'd fall in love, then she'd kill Lyria, and then Rowan would be left broken??? I just feel bad for Lyria in this situation.

And there's this thing that mates aren't able to hurt each other??? Explain the neck biting and abuse back in Heir of Fire??? They definitely were hurting each other then.

One thing that really annoys me is that Sarah spends so much time and effort to make Rowan look amazing and the best. She's always commenting on how attractive he is, many characters are constantly saying how attractive he is. How great he is. She's basically forcing her readers to fall in love with him, his perfect, beautiful self. It honestly just makes me hate him even more. He doesn't have any real flaws. He's just hot and horny.

Then there's something that Aelin says to Rowan in the fifth book, something along the lines of, “You're not human and I wouldn't expect you to be.”

So basically, every shitty thing he does like being territorial, abusive, and all these other horrible things is okay because he's not human. It's okay because he's fae. Fae are allowed to be horrible like this, because they're immortal, gorgeous, and excellent fighters. There are so many girls who find Rowan to be boyfriend goals and what they look for in a relationship! And that is so awful! Sarah J. Maas is making all of this look okay and considered attractive. No one, man or woman, should ever be like this. It's absolutely awful and disgusting. And Sarah is just romanticizing it! I despise it.

I've gotten into quite a few debates with Rowan stans about this, including a few at a Sarah J. Maas event. Sarah is an absolutely wonderful person and an amazing speaker. I love her as a human. I just don't like where she has taken these books, especially with Rowan and the other fae. While I was at the event, I came across several Rowan stans. So while we waited for Sarah to come out, I decided to strike up conversation with her. We got to the topic of Rowan and I stated my views on him, she instantly jumped to his defense. Which I'm completely okay with, I defend my favorites too. I wanted to hear why she loved him and see her reasons behind her opinion. The problem: her reasons behind loving him were that he's hot (I mean I do love me a nice hot guy, but there's always more to a guy than being hot, thanks), that he's protective, and that he's her boyfriend goals.

I stated my arguments, basically everything I've noted up above, and her reasoning to why all that's all okay. He's fae. She told me, and I quote, “That's just how fae are. It's not his fault.” So because he's fae, he can bite other women in the neck, he can be territorial, he can be constantly horny? If that's how fae are I don't want one. I want to get as far away from one as possible. Who cares if they're gorgeous and immortal.

What annoyed me the most was that as soon as the girl figured out that Chaol was favorite character, she came to the conclusion that the only reason I hated Rowan was because Aelin chose him over Chaol. Not because of all the reason I told her, but because Rowaelin was canon and Chaolaena wasn't. That's basically when I stopped talking to her.

I've had these debates with so many other stans and it always ends the same way. They're only defense for Rowan is that he's fae and it's okay for him to be like this. I want no part in that.

Okay, this is long, so in conclusion, Rowan Whitethorn is a horny, toxic, territorial bastard that I hate more than any other fictional character. And yes, that includes villains. In TOG7, all I want is for Rowan to die painfully (a nice Game of Thrones worthy death.) There's nothing more I want. And there's basically nothing this man can do to ever earn my love and devotion. I hate him that much. I honestly still do want to know why people love this man so much, he is considered one of the most beloved characters in the series, even Sarah loves him more than anyone else. I want to understand why he's just so appealing. Something besides him being hot and fae.

So yeah, that's my rant and if you made it this far, I applaud you. No doubt I'm going to get some serious hate for this, but at this point, there's no changing my mind so who cares! But to all you Rowan lovers out there, I still love you as a human, just don't understand your love for Rowan Whiteporn.

#anti rowan whitethorn #anti tog #anti sjm #anti aelin galathynius #rowan whiteporn #ahhhhhhhhhh #book thoughts with kels #anti rowaelin

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kunoichi-ume · 7 years ago

Note

Emotional starters - if they're meant for asks -- ”The instant you start to feel something, you turn tail and run.”

Yes, that is totally what that was meant for. Thank you, this one was a doozy and I had to rewrite like three paragraphs when the power flickered and that part wasn’t saved (and sadly auto save didn’t catch all of it).

This is also my first time writing Theron Shan and my Jedi Consular Leena Jiin so that part was fun. Which also means their characters might be totally off but oh well.

emotional starters

Also on A03 as the first in my “SWTOR prompts” series.

Theron knew who would be on the other side of his doorbefore he opened it, but that didn’t stop the first words out of his mouth frombeing a surprised, “what are you doing here?”

Leena Jiin, Jedi Council Member and Barsen’thor of the Orderwas standing in the hallway outside his apartment and looking decidedly unhappywith him. She had her arms folded across her chest and her eyes were notexactly glaring at him like one would a piece of trash stuck on their shoe, butit was a near thing.

“We need to talk,” she said tersely, “and you have beenavoiding me Theron.”

“Have I?” He asked, trying to sound casual and not like herwords felt like a knife to the gut. ‘We need to talk’ was probably theworst thing to hear someone you were kinda-sorta involved with romanticallysay. He didn’t try to deny avoiding her, he had been, and he knew it. He hadgone out of his way to be busy or offworld when she was around ever sinceZiost.

“Yes, you have,” she said firmly before gesturing towardhim, “are you going to let me come in or would you like to have a deeplypersonal conversation in your hallway?”

Theron sighed heavily, he knew he couldn’t avoid her foreverbut never imagined she would turn up at his apartment, unannounced, in themiddle of the night. Part of his brain, the same part that drove him to avoid her for the last few weeks, told him to shut the door. That maybe she wouldgo away, and he could put off this moment for a later date. Again. But anotherpart noticed the stiffness of her shoulders, how her long hair was left looseinstead of in the proper bun he had always seen it except once on Yavin IV, thefrown pulling at her lips and the redness around her eyes and he couldn’t bringhimself to send her away. Not when she was so obviously upset and shaken,probably by his own stupid actions. He stepped back into his apartment and heldthe door open for her.

She didn’t say anything, just nodded her head and steppedinto his home for the first time. He shut the door and they stood there, in theentryway awkwardly for a moment before he realized what a jerk he was being.

“We can talk in here,” he said as he led her into his smallliving room. It was more an office for him, with various tech and datapadscovering most of the horizontal surfaces, and a few of the vertical ones aswell, but there was a couch along the back wall that was comfortable enough tosleep on. He knew this from lots of experience.

She sat on one side of the couch, the small bag she hadslung over her shoulder set on the floor at her feet, and looked up at himexpectantly.

“Do… I mean would you like something to drink? I haveCorelian brandy, or I could make tea?” He offered, hoping she would say yes andgive him an excuse to escape from her sight for a moment to collect himself. Asa spy he was usually better at thinking on his feet, but Leena threw a wrenchinto every part of his life it seemed.

“Theron would you please just sit with me, I’ve missed you.”The way she said it, looking up at him with an expression that was equal partssorrow and hope, he couldn’t deny her.

He sat on the other side of the couch, leaving the middleopen between them and leaned forward. Hebraced his elbows on his knees and fiddled with his fingers nervously. He knewshe was here for an explanation, that was obvious, and if he was honest withhimself he knew she deserved one.

“I’ve missed you too,” he said, his voice was quiet butstill sounded loud in his ears compared to the stillness of the room. “I’msorry I’m so shit at all of this I just… on Ziost there was a time when Ididn’t know-” he paused struggling for the words for a moment. “I didn’t knowif you made it off the surface before, well before. I’ve never been so scaredLeena, I couldn’t…” His voice trailed off and he squeezed his eyes shut tight, asmemories of that day came rushing back to him. The horror of the reports comingin from his contacts, the way he felt like he couldn’t breathe when he realizedLeena was still down there when he left, the panic when she didn’t respond tohis messages. For almost 6 hours he feared she was dead, and the pain was overwhelming.He wasn’t a stranger to death, people in his line of work never were, but her death undid his calm in a waynothing else ever had. He gripped his hands tightly as the phantom pain ofmemory clouded his mind.

Theron would like to think he didn’t jump when he felt herhand, smaller than his but warm and soft, on his own but he did. He opened his eyesand turned to her. She had moved from her side to the couch to sit right nextto him. She was looking at his hands, using her own to gently separate his fingersand take the pressure off his whitened knuckles. When his hands separated sheslid her hand into one of his, interlacing their fingers and giving acomforting squeeze.

When she looked up at him her eyes were bright, not quiteteary but more wet than normal.

“And why did that bother you so much?”

Theron stared at her incredulously, “are you really askingme that? I thought you were dead Leena, why wouldn’t that bother me?”

She licked her lips, and he had to force himself not tostare. It was hard not to, this was the closest she had been to him in a month.She was practically pressed up against his side she was sitting so close andher hand in his was warm and just feltright. He could even smell her hair, the fragrant shampoo she favored bringing up memoriesof the hour they snuck away from the others on Yavin IV to be alone. He desperatelywanted to revisit that time, back when things were looking up and he wasn’tterrified about what was between them.

“Theron, that was hardly the first time I have been indanger, and need I remind you of the various dangerous missions you yourselfsent me on?”

He fell back against the couch, inadvertently pulling herwith him, and stared at the ceiling. “Please don’t, I remember them.” And he did,each and every one of them. He had been practically haunted by them sinceZiost, going over them in his mind and pinpointing every time he put her in unnecessarydanger starting from the moment they had met. He had counted at least 27 timesshe could have been seriously hurt or died because he sent her into a situationwithout the proper information or backup.

“So why did this one time have such an affect? Why did thistime make you pull away from me? I thought…well I thought you shared my feelingsfor you.” Her voice had gotten progressively softer as she spoke, her lastwords little more than a mournful whisper.

He turned slightly to face her, using his free hand to lifther chin to meet his eyes. “I do Leena. I care about you more than, well morethan I’ve cared about anyone before.”

She smiled at him, leaning into his hand as he cupped hercheek.

“Then why are you avoiding me like I have the rakghoul plague?”She asked, her tone light in the wake of his confession.

That made him laugh softly and he felt the fear that hadbeen twisting in his gut for so long loosen a little just by her presence. Hersmile always had a way of making him feel better, regardless of the situation.

He considered giving her a half explanation, glossing overhis insecurities and fears, but his mouth was faster than the paranoid voice inhis head this one time.

“I’m scared Leena.” He said honestly, “I don’t know how todo this relationship stuff, not without messing it up spectacularly, and I don’twant to put you through that. I don’t want to hurt you like that. I feel like Iwould rather relive Revan’s hospitality than see you cry.”

“So, what, the instant you start to feel something, you turntail and run?”

“Well it sounds bad when you put it that way.”

“Is there a way to word it that doesn’t sound bad?” She asked with a smile before she relaxed againsthis side. “So, you have been avoiding me because you care, and you don’t wantto ruin things between us?”

“Pretty much yeah,” he sighed. “So now that you know what anemotionally deficient excuse of a man I am do you want to turn and run?”

She shook her head, “there is nowhere I would rather be.You know I’m scared too Theron. I don’t know how any of this works, it goesagainst the code I’ve lived my life by, but I cannot deny how I feel about you. So,I’ve decided to be brave and see where this takes us.”

Theron stared at her openly, surprised by her confession. Hehad seen Leena face hordes of pirates and Revanites, watched her sack the SithAcademy and retake the Jedi Temple – with no rest in-between – and even challengingRevan himself without so much as a hint of fear, but this scared her? As muchas it scared him?

She let her words sink in for a long quiet moment before shereached for him, her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him closer to her.Face to face, barely two inches between them she asked him a question that madehis breath catch in his throat.

“Will you be brave too?”

He answered by closing the distance between them, his lipson hers, and pulling her partly into his lap. He buried his hand in her hair atthe back of her head and groaned when she nipped his lip. She took advantage ofhis reaction and deepened the kiss. He grabbed her leg and moved it, so she wasstraddling his lap, hand splayed on her back to press her close. He neededthat, to feel her, here, alive and know that his fears were all unfounded. Hehadn’t lost her, he hadn’t sent her on a suicide mission as his nightmaresoften showed him.

She was here, pulling his shirt up to run her fingers acrosshis chest and moaning into his mouth when he slipped his hand into her robes totease her nipple. He was painfully hard, memories of Yavin IV once againswirling in his mind and he ground his pelvis up against hers for some much-neededfriction. There was far too much clothing between them for his comfort.

Leena gasped at the contact, pulling back to take severaldeep breaths before laughing and smiling down at him.

“Can I take that as an enthusiastic yes?”

He nodded, “yes. I am sorry I was such an idiot. There isnothing I want more than to be with you as often as possible.”

She leaned down, cupping his face in her hands and kissedhim, a deep, slow kiss that made him shiver below her. She pulled back just farenough to lean her forehead against his.

“I think that can be arranged.”

Theron was thinking about standing, taking her with him –and damn if the idea of holding her with her legs around his hips didn’t makehis head spin with pleasure – and taking her to his bed to make up for the lastmonth when his thoughts were interrupted.

She groaned, burying her face into his neck as though thatwould change the fact her comm was incessantly chiming.

“Just ignore it,” he said, running his hands up her back andthrough her hair.

She shook her head and leaned away from him, “I can’t. Itold Nadia that I was only to be disturbed tonight if it was truly important.”She moved to get up and reach her bag, but he held her hips to keep her inplace on top of him.

“What could be so important it can’t wait until tomorrow?”He asked with a cheeky smile.

His brazen words made her laugh, but she lightly smacked herhands away and stood up anyway. He watched her dig through her bag and pull outher comm device. It must have been a text communication because she didn’t activatethe holo but whatever it said made her gasp.

He was on his feet in a second, standing next to her and placinga hand on her shoulder. “What is it?”

She turned and looked up at him with wide eyes, “Darth Marr.He called my ship, Nadia says he thinks he found the Emperor. He’s requested Imeet up with him as soon as possible.”

Theron frowned at the thought of a Dark Council member withher direct contact information, former ally of convenience or not he didn’tlike it, but that was not the pressing matter of the moment. “Where is he?”

She looked back down at the comm, “on the edge of wildspace, out past Ilum. It will take some time to get there, I need to leave.”

He nodded, “yeah of course.” He didn’t want her to, honestly,he had never wanted anything more than for her to stay here, in his arms, bothto continue what they were doing earlier and to know she was safe.

But of all the “important” things to draw her away from hisbed, this was a doozy. He didn’t know Marr well of course, but he was confidentthe man wouldn’t exaggerate. If he thought he had found signs of the Emperor’slocation he meant it.

Theron pulled her into his arms, burying his nose into herhair and breathing in her scent deeply. “Promise me,” he said, his voiceslightly muffled to cover the shakiness of it, “promise me you will be careful.”

She took a half step back and pulled him down by his shirtto press a kiss against his lips. “I promise. I will be home soon,” she said,and he felt stupidly happy that she was referring to here, with him, as home.

Leena picked up her bag, and he walked her to the door. Theykissed again, a soft, loving kiss that was a promise of things to come when shereturned.

And then she left, walking out of his apartment and hislife.

#Swtor #Theron Shan #Jedi Consular #OC: Leena Jiin #My writing #emotional starters

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