#the road to hell is paved with good intentions fr

[ineffabildaddy]

god: you can either go to heaven or get a proper glimpse of michael sheen's tummy. you can't do both

me:

[nekodere07]

Can you guys recommend me Evil X centric fics? And provide a summary and major spoiler to convince me to read them? I listed the ones below that I discovered/read so far, so you don't need to recommend them again. It also functions as me recommending stuff to EX enjoyers :D

Asking for Nothing by mayflowers fr "i can be the one you call" series (Evil X redemption saga after traumatizing Keralis w/ Zed's help; you need to read everything for context since it has diff events and has continuity) ✨

Anthophobia by residentevilxisuma (Evil X has platonic Hanahaki disease) ✨

Make Me Hurt, Make Me Bleed by residentevilxisuma (Reaper Evil X got tortured by Mumbo but doesn't have physical scars due to his regeneration, but it's been hiatus/discontinued since 2021 😭) ✨

residentevilxisuma's Reaper AU by residentevilxisuma (collection of Evil X reaper au)

Another Chance by Ronin_Resistance fr "Void Medic EX" series (Evil X is in charge of respawn while in the void)

Homesick by Inquillitory (Evil X redemption arc after being indirectly responsible for s8's doom)

Can't Even Hear My Own Sobs by GoodTimeWithCip (EX has meltdown after being ripped fr the void)

Here is Home by Shrug (Icynightsky) (not centric but major role; Evil X rescues Impulse fr the void who was banned due to Imposter Syndrome)

The betrayal of brothers doesn't mean the betrayal of others. by JustAnotherMutantKid (Evil X was banned by Xisuma for not doing what he wants but got help by Team ZIT + Wels)

The Road to Hell (Is Paved with Good Intentions) by Random_Reviewer (not centric but antagonist; Evil X tortures Etho and streamed it for the Hermits to see)

this is about a stuffed bird by Bee_4 (downloaded it but didn't have the motivation to read since MCD)

The Hermits And The Mystery of How Evil X Eats by thatgirlfromasgard (not centric; like the title suggests)

it takes two to play (the game of mutual secrecy) by kiwinatorwaffles fr "the hermitcraft hero au (VDHAU)" series (Evil X vigilante due to admiration of a hero, not knowing it was his older brother Xisuma, and those two were just oblivious to each other's identity when all their friends already figured it out a long time ago) ✨

Late Night Visits by Lackyducks (not centric but major role; Evil X sends a stressed Xisuma to Scar since he can't shapeshift back)

Family Revelation series by PickleGirl23 (Exil X found and adopted Grian as his son; didn't continue the series tho since they crossover w/ DSMP)

Iron Bleeds Green by MawoftheMagnetar (not centric but major role; X and EX were formerly the same person but separated due to a tech fr their home planet, and an individual fr there was hunting both of them down)

Cat Among Pigeons by qvill (Evil X was spit out by the Rift after being void banned, shapeshifts into a cat so no one will know it's him)

Love Me Like I'm Dead by Dani_ofCrows (ongoing; major role; X and EX were secretly some kind of creature but X keeps it a secret fr the Hermits until this was forced to be discovered, Hermits shortly realized that both siblings have Hanahaki disease)

I'll Take You By The Hand by ScarletHalo (Evil X was captured by the Watchers but Grian helped w/ his injuries until Xisuma comes to theit rescue)

Words Are Hard by BDbSafe4U (BlueDblue62) (depressed Evil X can't communicate how much he was hurting to X until he tried to off himself in Decked Out)

voidfishing, the new sport that nobody regretted partaking in (eventually, anyway) by kiwinatorwaffles (major role; Xisuma fishes out kid Evil X out of the void)

Well well, look who's inside again by rorythewriter (ongoing; Evil X is freed fr the void but has amnesia and is suicidal due to the pain fr sensory deprivation/overload, EX and Zed friendship for the win)

Cold and broken and hurt (Warm and healed and protected) by Moonflowers24 (EX disappeared in s8 and was stuck in the void until s10, assumed X hated him since he banned him to the void again and never responded to their texts)

A Nether Return by Sharo (EX glitch spawned in the 1.16 Nether after being banned, got sick but was taken care of by team ZIT and Zed got pissed after discovering X banned EX)

[antiv3nom]

Bedman (Romeo)

omg havent had an excuse to talk abt bedman in a hot minute thank u anon...

favorite thing about them:

i love the tragedy of his story arc... that feels like a weird thing to say but its the first thing that came to mind! just. look. the road to hell paved with good intentions bit taken to the extreme really works here!!! the idea that he remembered the name of every person he ever killed because he was under the impression he could bring them all back, only to have the rug pulled from under him? hurts me! in the best way!!!

other than that i do enjoy his design, both romeo himself and the bed :] i wanna give my bedman cosplay another try sometime for sure, it didnt work out for various reasons but i have most of the components and would enjoy cosplaying him fr in the future

least favorite thing about them:

i think i dont really dislike anything about the way bedman is written in the source material strongly enough to point it out here? i think my main gripe is the way the fandom treats him to either extreme, like theres "bedman did nothing wrong ever" people and "bedman is horrific" people and i wish both camps would chill out and recognize hes like. a complex character? but i do think most people do this already which i can appreciate

favorite line:

im a little obsessed w his win line against may in xrd

"I do not understand humans who are motivated by love. A person is born, lives for a number of years, and interacts with up to eight billion people. What proof is there of something they can't even define?"

bc like. buddy. you dont even realize it. YOURE driven by love. all this shit wasnt just for yourself but it was for delilah too!!! fuck!!! you dont even see it as love you see it as necessary because shes that important to you!!! and dont even get me STARTED on the bed in strive and how its still running because of his last minute code additions which almost act as the last part of his will to protect delilah. GAHHHH

brOTP:

BEDMAN AND AXL INTERACTIONS. PLEASE. PLEASE. their dynamic is so interesting as characters with such fascinating ways of interacting with the world...gah. GAH. and no one fucking talks about it!!!

OTP:

sinbed. must i wlabo.

ok but i will, im not as into them as i was like a year ago but i still do really enjoy their dynamic. sin being such a beacon of hope and being so willing to see people as good contrasted with a post-xrd living bedman (bc all my sinbed stuff exists within au but im having fun out here so sue me) seeing himself as inherently evil due to his actions despite his intentions and believing no one would ever care for him? it hits for me

nOTP:

i dont know of anything off the top of my head that ive seen for him??? nothing prevalent at least.

actually on second thought i think ive seen like one instance of bedman and ram in a romantic sense, and that im not a fan of but i guess i could see the appeal, just not my thing

random headcanon:

this motherfucker would have gotten heated in some internet forums or wiki talk pages, DEDICATED to accuracy out here and he WILL fight you about it

unpopular opinion:

not entirely certain i have one? i think the "bedman while flawed is not actually a terrible person and was doing his best given his extremely fucked up circumstances" is a pretty cool take by this point for most people

i think the only thing i have is that my interpretation of bedman has always been as like a young adult rather than a kid but like i dont really have a concrete opinion on that and i totally understand people who do see him as a kid like its entirely understandable to do so

song i associate with them:

other than his character themes, its GOTTA be dramaturgy by eve, which just. it gives the vibes. read the english lyrics it will make sense i prommy

favorite image of them:

THE EEPER...

OTHER than this one its more an animation but his 6p in xrd is so silly i love it so bad...and for a more serious option his instant kill is really cool

[stormyoceans]

monica im gonna need you to verbalise what the birthday scene did to you because i've been on the lookout for your reaction.. i know youre barely human rn so whenever you feel like it ofc 🥰

PETRI IT'S SO VERY SWEET OF YOU TO WANT TO KNOW MY REACTION TO THE MOST INSANE 20 MINUTES OF TELEVISION EVER PUT TO FILM BUT IM AFRAID I WON'T EVER BE MENTALLY FIT ENOUGH TO PUT INTO WORDS THE AMOUNT OF PAIN SUFFERING TORMENT AGONY ANGUISH SADNESS DESPAIR DEVASTATION DESPONDENCY HEARTBREAK AND DIVINE WRATH I WENT THROUGH WATCHING THAT ENTIRE SCENE LIKE I WAS GENUINELY WHITE KNUCKLING MY WAY THROUGH IT JUST GNAWING ON FURNITURE TO PREVENT MYSELF FROM GOING ON A KILLING SPREE AND PETROL BOMBING THE GMMTV HEADQUARTERS

i also feel like most people came out of the episode bawling their eyes out for mork and wanting to talk about him, and of course im no different, but at the same time im literally genuinely truly sincerely honest to god fr not kidding when i tell you i could spend the rest of my life talking about day and how good (and underrated) of a character he is. the frankly insane amount of thoughts and feelings i have about him basically overshadowed everything else EXCEPT FOR THE MURDEROUS RAGE I FELT TOWARDS AUGUST. and like.. the thing i appreciate the most about p’aof’s characters is that they’re all incredibly complex and nuanced, there are no heroes and no villains in his stories (despite what night says), so i do think that august cares about day and didn’t have any malicious intent, but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and august’s ones were wrapped up in so much ableism and selfishness since the very beginning, because he never really tried to understand day or think about what would actually make day happy, he just tried to lessen his own guilt for all the times he made day wait hours for him to show up, for all the matches he made them lose because his temper flared up, for all the forgotten birthdays, for not returning day’s feelings. i don’t want to hate august but the pity he feels for day and the guilt that stemmed from it ended up making day’s deepest fear come true and hurting him in ways august can’t even imagine AND IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY

mork’s anger was so relatable because mork, just like the audience, knows. he’s the only one who knows, not just about day’s heartbreak, but also about august’s words cutting much deeper than a simple rejection. this is exacly the reason day isolated himself and begged his mom not to tell anyone about him losing his sight, and the worst part is that august said all that to mork as if day wasn’t even there, as if he was invisible. honestly i could write a whole other post just about this scene and mork’s anger and the tear running down mork’s cheek not for himself but for day and day taking mork’s hand to stop him from hurting august and mork LETTING HIM and the hug but im sure other people already did better than i ever could and this is already getting way too long so let’s just say that the mental health crisis intervention team that’s always in the room with me when i watch this show had their hands full trying to sedate me (and to think that this was the better outcome too like.. imagine if mork hadn't come back. imagine if august had just walked away leaving day alone with no explanation whatsoever and no way of getting home by himself. KILLING AND MAIMING AND BITING AND TEARING AND RIPPING AND CLAWING AND STABBING AND PUNCHING AND KICKING AND MURDERING)

this mess with august is also making me both appreciate and hurt for day and gee’s friendship because she’s the only person from day’s past who isn’t treating him any differently and who is genuinely trying to understand him, and day TRUSTED her, when he needed someone and mork wasn’t there she is the one he called out for, which is HUGE, but he still isn’t ready to fully open up to her and you can tell this is hurting gee a little because she just wants to be there for him, especially after not being able to for an entire year. unlike everyone else, tho, she respects day’s boundaries and is gonna wait for him to come to her when he’s ready, so it pains me to think that what happened with august might push day towards isolation again (like i know mork isn’t gonna let that happen, but i think day is gonna have a hard time hanging out with other people again, at least for a while) WHICH IS WHY I NEED GEE TO DO WHAT DAY STOPPED MORK FROM DOING AND SLAP SOME SENSE INTO AUGUST

AND OKAY LIKE LET’S TALK ABOUT MORKDAY EVEN IF THINKING ABOUT THEM FOR TOO LONG MAKES ME WANT TO THROW MY WHOLE ASS SELF DOWN A WELL AND DROWN IN 5 CM OF WATER AND ALSO AS WE’VE ALREADY ESTABLISHED IM CLEARLY VERY BIASED TOWARDS DAY EVEN IF I DO TRY TO BE AS OBJECTIVE AS POSSIBLE BUT ALSO LISTEN. people out there blaming day for not falling at mork’s feet right away and hurting mork’s feelings by preferring august (which is not entirely true btw) can meet me in the pit and i don’t wanna get into this here since im just rambling and digressing from what you originally asked way too much, but the point is. people look at this as if emotions are completely clear cut and day can’t both have residual feelings for august and some blooming ones for mork that he isn’t fully aware of, and also everyone seems to forget that day can’t see and mork is his caretaker and he has no idea how much of mork being nice to him is mork actually liking him or mork just doing his job. all of this to say that MY BOY DAY WAS THRILLED AT THE IDEA OF SPENDING HIS BIRTHDAY WITH MORK OKAY??????? HE WAS HAPPY AND EXCITED AND GIFTED MORK HIS FAVORITE PERFUME AFTER SPRAYING IT ON HIM (i could act like a 12 years old and make a joke about day spraying himself on mork since the name of the perfume is ‘day time’ but i won’t because im better than that) [no im not] AND COMPLETELY FORGOT ABOUT EVER KNOWING SOMEONE NAMED AUGUST. so to hear mork say that he went there as a matchmaker probably was yet another thing that confused day so much about mork’s intentions (and it also had me on the floor recreating the collective wailing scene from midsommar but that’s a different matter)

and like don’t get me wrong, i have no doubts that letting day go with august was probably one of the hardest most painful things mork ever had to do and that the only reason he was actually able to go through with it is because he thought that august was where day’s happiness laid. it was also extremely painful to see mork alone in the background throughout the entire episode, unsure of where he stands in day’s life and feeling like he has no right to claim a place next to him, and day definitely had some part in making him feel like that but i also think that mork was so wrapped up in his own emotions (understandably so) that he didn’t really listen to all the times day was asking him to stay. "not a boss. let's just say im a friend", "why didn't you join us for dinner?", "so will you tell me now what you're going as if not my caretaker?". day may not be sure of his own feelings or how to define his relationship with mork, but he does know that mork belongs right next to him, and seeing day looking for mork and not finding him was just as painful as mork once again not being able to give the damn sunflower to day LIKE SERIOUSLY HOW MANY MORE SUNFLOWERS ARE WE GOING TO GO THROUGH BEFORE IT FINALLY GETS TO DAY STOP THIS MADNESS

AND DON’T EVEN LET ME GET STARTED ON THE SYMBOLISM OF IT ALL AND HOW - JUST LIKE AT THE BEGINNING THEY BOTH WERE THE UNHAPPY PRINCE AND THE UNTAMED FOX IN NEED OF A FRIEND WHO WOULD TAKE THE TIME AND EFFORT TO UNDERSTAND -THEY NOW BOTH ARE THE SUN AND THE SUNFLOWER CHASING THE LIGHT THAT MAKES IT VISIBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CAN TRULY SEE EACH OTHER AND HOW ALL OF THIS TIES WITH THE KISS HAPPENING AS THE SUN RISES OR I WILL START MAKING RABIS-RIDDLED CREATURE NOISES

im very likely forgetting so many things i wanted to say and that are worth mentioning but this already enough of a mess and i’ve also reached that point of insanity where i need to go meditate in a sensory deprivation chamber to come down from the sheer manic energies that thinking about this show has me going on SO. let’s just leave it at that

IN CONCLUSION. RIP ME

[arttrampbelle]

Very Unpopular opinion but i actually don't like liu kang as a fire god unless he has ACTUAL struggle with his powers,becomes dark like raiden,it is temporary,or have him ironically die at the hands of shang tsung or even dark raiden.

Other than that having him as a fire god feels kinda like it's going away from his character as a humble monk who didn't wanna be mk champion or its defender and this was thrusted upon him. Honestly liu kang deserves retirement maybe even with kitana or something. But in general a fucking break from being earthrealms champion. Give it to kung lao instead. Actually grow some damn backbone and make kung lao take over a bit.

Honestly i just feel them making liu kang a fire god WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES OR REPERCUSSIONS FOR SAID GOD POWERS feels to anime protag dbz levels of bullshit plot armor. Im serious. Like liu kang is amazing. But not when you treat him like that. Like liu is a humble monk and he would never keep god powers even if it was beneficial. Like he'd rather raiden take it back or fujin take it.

Liu deserves peace with kitana. Hell liu deserves just peace. Gdi.

But yeah no fire god liu for me. Unless you have him also go dark. Like in 9. In shangs tower ending. That was fucking insane and actually a good premise for a game in inself. For a tower ending(which aren't canon btw. Never will be) it is an interesting idea.

And honestly im pissed they didn't go that route. Dark raiden vs dark fire god liu kang who got too outta control. Both had noble causes....but the road to hell is pave with good intentions they say.

Now shang tsung of all people has to help.(not to say without compensation. Hee hee) but still.

Waaaaay better of a plot than we got. Fr.

[troofless]

Chapter 2.1 Notes:

yuri’s reason for using axes being he was too broke to own another sword has the same vibe as jin and lora using one sword because they don’t have the money for another and unknowingly setting a future trend for blades and drivers

yuri continues to besmirch an ages old technique; flynn: THE SACRED TEXTS!!!!

i think it would be funny for the translation for 人の好さが災いして to be the road to hell is paved with good intentions, since it has the equivalent to good intentions sometimes lead to disaster

gotta love how the narration states the yuri is the sole exception to flynn’s nice guy side it’s so funny like flynn really said no i fucking hate yuri and yuri only /j

im crying but why did the original text have to stress the words ふたりは仲がいい like how explicit do you want to get 

ok i wonder if these knights are a reference to empty mask or smth

yuri: i wonder if one of those knights that came by had just gone thru a life-redefining character arc or smth. anyway

smth smth side note to standardise flynn’s addressing of hanks-san. 

baby flynn sad :(

oh i thought she had fantasy cancer or smth but was it actually aersickness lol

i guess its back to being flynn suffering hours (TM)

wow can you believe flynn didnt like go batshit insane after all this happened yuri really is his restraining factor fr

the doctor: there is a disturbance in the force (aer) insane that this is probably alexei building the hermes blastia or heracles or smth idk

lmao i wonder if flynn has like. some kind of ptsd seeing panacea bottles in the main game wouldn’t that be funny anyway

so 万能薬 (panacea in furigana) is in the description for the halure tree panacea bottle and normal panacea bottle. but it’s technically just ‘panacea’ or cure-all, etc. i’ll just put panacea/panacea bottle when appropriate but the reference should be obvious. (i have a hundred of these in my inventory…)

so basically if they knew estelle they would have been able to cure norein i see (delulu) (estelle is probably like 7 y/o at this point in the game or smth)

its interesting to see how this time is flynn who is challenging the supposed norm instead of yuri who has kinda given up and going no dude this is fucked up we should rise up against the nobles (and then flynn in the future: lol)

btw that last line has a page all to itself! poor flynn. all alone. baby.

[puckrph]

INFINITY ON HIGH STARTERS

tw for an allusion to self-harm (in "i'm like a lawyer with the way i'm always getting you off") and drug references

THRILLER

' by fall, we were a cover story. ' ' make us poster boys for your scene. ' ' we're not making an acceptance speech. ' ' i found the safest place to keep all our old mistakes. ' ' long live the car crash hearts. ' ' cry on the couch, and all the poets come to life. ' ' fix me in forty-five. ' ' i can take your problems away with a nod and a wave of my hand. ' ' the only thing i haven't done yet is die. ' ' crowds are won and lost and won again. '

"THE TAKE OVER, THE BREAKS OVER"

' baby, seasons change, but people don't. ' ' i'm boring, but overcompensate with headlines and flash photography. ' ' don't pretend you ever forgot about me. ' ' wouldn't you rather be a widow than a divorcee? ' ' you can style your wake for fashion magazines. ' ' we don't fight fair. ' ' they say your head can be a prison; then these are just conjugal visits. ' ' people will dissect us till this doesn't mean a thing anymore. '

THIS AIN'T A SCENE, IT'S AN ARMS RACE

' i am an arms dealer, fitting you with weapons in the form of words. ' ' i don't really care which side wins. ' ' i'm not a shoulder to cry on. ' ' the lies i weave are intricate. ' ' i wrote the gospel on giving up. ' ' you're looking pretty sinking. ' ' i'm crashing not like hips or cars, no, more like parties. ' ' the bandwagon's full, please catch another. ' ' sing until your lungs give out. '

I'M LIKE A LAWYER WITH THE WAY I'M ALWAYS TRYING TO GET YOU OFF (ME & YOU)

' last year's wishes are this year's apologies. ' ' every last time i come home, i take my last chance to burn a bridge or two. ' ' i only keep myself this sick in the head because i know how the words get you off. ' ' we're the new face of failure: prettier and younger, but not any better off. ' ' me and you, setting: in a honeymoon, if i woke up next to you. ' ' i'll collect the bad habits that you couldn't bear to keep. ' ' the best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact is to realize two out of three ain't bad. '

HUM HALLELUJAH

' it's all a game of "this" or "that," "now" versus "then," "better off" against "worse for wear." ' ' you're someone who knows someone who knows someone i once knew. ' ' i just want to be a part of this. ' ' the road outside my house is paved with good intentions; hire a construction crew, 'cause it's hell on the engine. ' ' you are the dreamer, and we are the dream. ' ' i could write it better than you ever felt it. ' ' hum "hallelujah" just off the key of reason. ' ' i thought i loved you, but it was just how you looked in the light. ' ' a teenage vow in a parking lot: 'til tonight do us part. ' ' i sing the blues and swallow them too. ' ' my words are my faith. ' ' to hell with our good name. ' ' one day, we'll get nostalgic for disaster. ' ' i love you in the same way there's a chapel in a hospital: one foot in your bedroom and one foot out the door. ' ' sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills. '

GOLDEN

' how cruel is the golden rule, when the lives we live are only golden-plated? ' ' the lights of the city were too heavy for me. ' ' i saw god cry in the reflection of my enemies, and all the lovers with no time for me. ' ' all of the mothers raise their babies to stay away from me. ' ' pray they don't grow up to be me. '

THNKS FR THE MMRS

' i'm going to make it bend and break. ' ' say a prayer, but let the good times roll in case god doesn't show. ' ' i want these words to make things right, but it's the wrongs that make the words come to life. ' ' if that's the worst you've got, better put your fingers back to the keys. ' ' one night, and one more time. ' ' thanks for the memories, even though they weren't so great. ' ' he tastes like you, only sweeter. ' ' i've been looking forward to the future, but my eyesight is going bad. ' ' they say i only think in the form of crunching numbers. ' ' get me out of my mind, and let's get you out of those clothes. '

DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I THINK I AM?

' penny for your thoughts, but a dollar for your insights. or a fortune for your disaster. ' ' i'm just a painter. and i'm drawing a blank. ' ' we need umbrellas on the inside. ' ' they say quitters never win. ' ' we're walking the plank on a sinking ship. ' ' there's a world outside of my front door that gets off on being down. ' ' i could learn to pity fools, as i'm the worst of all. ' ' i can't stop feeling sorry for myself. ' ' we're broken down on memory lane, alone together. ' ' we're alone. '

THE (AFTER) LIFE OF THE PARTY

' i'm a stitch away from making it, and a scar away from falling apart. ' ' the full moon pills got me out on the street at night. ' ' cut it loose. ' ' i'll watch you work the room. ' ' put love on hold. ' ' death's in a double bed, singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate. '

THE CARPAL TUNNEL OF LOVE

' we take sour sips from life's lush lips, and we shake the hips in relationships. ' ' stomp out this disaster town. ' ' you'll put your eyes to the sun and say "i know you're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding." ' ' we might've started singing just a little soon. ' ' we're throwing stones at a glass moon. ' ' we're so miserable and stunning. ' ' it's a love song for the genuinely cunning. ' ' i slept through the weekend, dreaming of sinking. ' ' i got postcards from my former selves saying "how you been?" ' ' we might've said goodbyes just a little soon. ' ' it was ice cream headaches and sweet avalanche. ' ' take two years and call me when you're better. '

BANG THE DOLDRUMS

' i wrote a goodbye note in lipstick on your arm when you passed out. ' ' i couldn't bring myself to call, except to call it quits. ' ' we're better off as lovers, not the other way around. ' ' we were racing through the city, windows down in the back of yellow checkered cars. ' ' this city says "come hell or high water." well, i'm feeling hot and wet. ' ' i can't commit to a thing, be it heart or hospital. ' ' the tombstones were waiting, half-engraved. they knew it was over, they just didn't know the date. ' ' i cast a spell over the west to make you think of me the same way i think of you. ' ' this is a love song, in my own way. ' ' it's happily ever after below the waist. '

FAME < INFAMY

' i'm a preacher sweating in the pew for the salvation i'm bringing you. ' ' when i'm home alone, i just dance by myself. ' ' volume goes with the truth. ' ' i'm alright in bed, but i'm better with a pen. ' ' the kid was alright, but it went to his head. ' ' i'm god's gift, but why would he bless me with such wit without a conscience equipped? ' ' i'm addicted to the way i feel when i think of you. ' ' i just can't stop myself. '

YOU'RE CRASHING, BUT YOU'RE NO WAVE

' i'm guessing that he read the morning paper. ' ' everyone's looking for relief. ' ' hang on a rope or bated breath, whichever you prefer. ' ' the press pays for whichever headline's worse. ' ' i can talk my way out of anything. '

I'VE GOT ALL THIS RINGING IN MY EARS AND NONE ON MY FINGERS

' you're a canary, and i'm a coal mine. ' ' sorrow is just all the rage. ' ' take one for the team. ' ' i pushed up the window to kiss you off. ' ' the truth hurts worse than anything i could bring myself to do to you. ' ' do you remember the way i held your hand under the lamp post and ran home this way, so many times that i could close my eyes? '

G.I.N.A.S.F.S.

' i've loved everything about you that hurt. ' ' let me see your moves. ' ' you're true blue. ' ' everybody wants to drive on through the night if it's a drive back home. ' ' things aren't the same anymore. ' ' some nights, it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone. ' ' i sleep in your old shirts and walk through this house in your shoes. ' ' i know i'm supposed to love you. ' ' i've already given up on myself twice; third time is the charm. ' ' i threw caution to the wind, but i've got a lousy arm. ' ' i traced your shadows on the wall, and now i kiss them whenever i'm down. ' ' i've figured on not figuring myself out. ' ' i was born under a bad sign. ' ' cross my heart and hope to die, splinter from the headboard in my eye. '

IT'S HARD TO SAY "I DO," WHEN I DON'T

' i speak fast, and i'm not gonna repeat myself, so listen carefully to every word i say. ' ' i'm the only one who's gonna get away with making excuses today. ' ' you're appealing to emotions that i simply do not have. ' ' i blackmailed myself, 'cause i ain't got anyone else. ' ' this is a stick up: give me all your inspiration. ' ' i've got the red carpet blues, baby. ' ' put your hands in the air and don't make a sound. ' ' don't get the wrong idea: i'm gonna shoot you, and there's nothing in your head or pocket, throat, or wallet, that could change just how this goes. ' ' when i said that i'd return to you, i meant more like a relapse. ' ' the only rings i want buried with me are the ones around my eyes. '

[earlgreytea68]

This post got me thinking about Pete and religion.

Fall Out Boy lyrics are full of Christian religious imagery. You kind of get the impression that Pete was raised in a household where he was just casually surrounded by all of this STUFF, that he absorbed and turned over in his lyrics. I mean, “Knock once for the Father, twice for the Son, three times for the Holy Ghost”... (West Coast Smoker).

He’s preoccupied by Heaven as an exclusive party. The idea shows up again and again. The Black Cards (I *love* the Black Cards stuff, I need to devote a whole thing to Black Cards at some point) have an entire song called “A Club Called Heaven.” On “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Fame,” “Heaven’s got a gate full of metal detectors.” On “Thriller,” he shows up with his plus one to the afterlife.

But Pete’s not entirely sure he’s getting into that party. In fact, usually Pete puts himself in Hell: He might be dancing in a club called Heaven, but he knows the doorman in Hell personally. The road to his house is paved with good intentions in Hum Hallelujah (which is, of course, traditionally what the road to Hell is paved with); “we’re just Hell’s neighbors” in America’s Suitehearts (if we’re not in Hell, we’re right next door, and that could be Heaven but I don’t think so). To get on St. Peter’s list, you need to lower your standards, says Rat-a-Tat. This is what Pete Wentz lyrics do, a simple sentence like that is LOADED with meaning. Because after all, his name is Peter, and it could be Peter Wentz’s list he’s referring to there, and it could also be the list to get into Heaven, and it could be that getting on Peter Wentz’s list doesn’t actually take that much (lower your standards, I’m never getting any better than this) and it could be that it’s St. Peter at the gates of Heaven who needs to lower *his* standards (again: I’m never getting any better than this).

(My absolute favorite Heaven/Hell lyric, though, is when Pete throws in Purgatory, that place in Catholicism where you go to do penance for your sins before you’re let into Heaven: On w.a.m.s. Pete writes, “My head’s in Heaven, my soles are in Hell, let’s meet in the Purgatory of my hips.” The glorious beauty of the sex innuendo being the *purgatory*: what you have to get yourself through to get to actual Heaven. ugh, Pete Wentz kills me sometimes with the way he uses words.)

He left his conscience pressed between the pages of the Bible in the drawer, but what did it ever do for him? So asks XO, and the gorgeously ambiguous phrasing of those lines KILLS ME. What’s the antecedent to the “it”? His conscience, sure, that’s what he’s thrown carelessly in the drawer. WITH THE BIBLE. Which could also be the “it”: What did that whole faith thing ever get me anyway?

But he wants it *so badly.* My second favorite lyric from Hum Hallelujah (a song that is nothing but excellent lyrics is “I love you in the same way there’s a chapel in a hospital.” There is SO MUCH packed into that line. SO, SO MUCH. And one of the things in there is the ambiguous irresistibility of faith: Sure, maybe the chapel is a last-ditch effort when nothing else works, or maybe that chapel is the ONLY thing that works and the only thing that matters in the whole place. I love you like that, like I don’t know if you’re all I’ve got left or you’re the only thing that matters, and I don’t know which it is but wow, either way, it would be great if you gave me a sign. Ugh that liiiiiine. “Have you ever wanted to disappear and join a monastery?” asks 20 Dollar Nose Bleed.

“I will never believe in anything again,” says (Coffee’s for Closers), but who really believes that? The temptation of belief creeps up in between the proclamation (”kick drum beating in my chest again,” “preach electric to a microphone stand”), undercutting it in the same way that its over-repetition in the song starts to ring hollow (Pete doth protest too much). The comfort that religious people get from their faith in God, Pete wants that. But he can’t get there. He’s always hedging his bets (“in case God doesn’t show” --Thnks fr th Mmrs). He’s always doubtful of God’s good intentions if He is there (”when the world ends, will God go down with it?” --What a Catch, Donnie).

So he tries to find substitutes for this faith he doesn’t have. “My words are my faith,” says Hum Hallelujah, but then, immediately afterward, “To hell with our good name,” so that’s how much actual trust he thinks you should place in that. “We’re a bull and your ears are a china shop.” Look at what a mess my words can make in there if you let them in; that’s what faith does to you, buddy. His gospel is the gospel of giving up (Arms Race). “Follow the disorganized religion of my head,” says West Coast Smoker. “I can work a miracle,” boasts Uma Thurman. “I’m the holy water you have been without,” says Fourth of July.

But he’s not really what he wants to believe in. “We’re saints just swimming in our sins,” Twin Skeleton’s reminds everyone. “If we pray to the Lord,” goes the outro on w.a.m.s., “does he sing on a stage?” Maybe rock and roll is what he should be believing in? “I’m the last damn kid still kicking who still believes,” claims Save Rock and Roll. “I will defend the faith, going down swinging.”

All of which brings us to MANIA. Religion, faith, belief is ALL OVER MANIA. In fact, the entire album is constructed as a journey toward finding the thing you believe in, the thing you have faith in, and finally settling in to cling tight to it. The first song on the album, Stay Frosty, Royal Milk Tea, is struggling with loss of things to believe in: “All my childhood heroes have fallen off or died.” (Champion later has the same theme: “I’m young enough to still believe, but young enough not to know what to believe in.” The most explicit Pete has ever been about his journey toward faith.) But then, in the second song, Last of the Real Ones, the lyrics have found someone to revolve around, someone to be with forever: “the ultra-kind of love,” that ultimate faith. But it’s not quite there yet. There’s doubt in there. “Tell me I’m the only one even if it’s not true.” “There’s been a million before me.” The bridge is expert Fall-Out-Boy song ambiguity. “I’m done with having dreams, the thing that I believe / you drain the fear from me.” Is that “I believe that you drain the fear from me”? Or is that “I’m done with the thing that I believe”? The song’s phrasing lets it be both at once, both a proclamation of faith and a proclamation of doubt, all at the same time.

But things get better. We eventually get to “Church.” An entire song where the religious imagery is pitched toward love (or blowjobs, like, same thing, maybe, for Pete Wentz). “If YOU were church, I’d get on my knees, confess my love, I’d know where to be, my sanctuary, you’re holy to me,” is the refrain of the whole song. It can’t get any clearer than that. Pete Wentz has found what he wants to believe in, and it’s the YOU (whoever that might be ahem just saying that in “Sunshine Riptide,” the she says “I love you ‘til I don’t,” while the You is the “truest feeling yet”). The other enduring theme in MANIA is fakeness and pretend: fake tears, fake friends, people you’re pretending with and around. That theme shows up in Church, too: “I’ve got a few more fake friends and it’s getting hard to know what’s real.” But in Church the proclamation of faith is in the chorus, which means that no matter how anxious Pete gets himself in the lyrics, he resolves back to the central belief: I’ve got you, I know where I should be. YOU’RE what’s real, right here, forget everyone else. 

AND THEN we get Heaven’s Gate. Which revisits Pete’s favorite idea that Heaven is a party he’s going to have to try to crash. But here the song is all about how he’s no longer aimlessly looking for something to believe in; he’s found it: “I’m a missile that’s guided to you.” Maybe he’s gotten it wrong, that he’s chosen the You as his thing to believe in, that the only thing he wants is Your love, but if he’s gotten it wrong, he’s got faith the You is going to get it right and give him the boost he needs into Heaven. “Honey, please come through” and take me along with Your awesomeness, because I’ve decided it’s You I’m going to follow, Your dreams I’m going to make come true, and I’m not going to try to detox from You anymore, I’m just going to go all-in on this whole thing, and in the end, if I don’t make it on the list, will You slip me a wristband?

The album closes out with Young and Menace, with “I’ve lived so much life I think that God is gonna have to kill me twice,” which is such a beautiful bookend to “I read about the afterlife but I never really lived” in Saturday, like, ugh, that always kills me, look how far Pete Wentz has come, and then finally into Bishop’s Knife Trick: “I’m yours, ‘til the earth starts to crumble and the heavens roll away.”

Let’s go back to the places that we never should have left.

Idk, maybe you could read this as: Pete Wentz finally found something to believe in, and it ended up being the person who hasn’t left his side in 20 years, the person he’s never had to pretend with, the person who’s been there through all the fake friends, the person who’s golden and amazing and DEFINITELY going to get it right when Pete doesn’t. I mean, maybe you could read it this way.

[guardsbian]

I do agree with you about the "step on me" part of the arvelle post like that is really wrong way to talk about muscular/masc presenting women, but from the tone of your post I got the vibes that you don't like that people are being sexually attracted to her at all or making posts about it. For me it's more like we so rarely get muscular masc presenting female characters so of course people go batshit over it. Most of the posts I have seen have not been putting emphasis on her being violent but just like appreciating her. (Ofc that doesn't mean there arent any of those posts)

Listen, this is probably going to come off as extremely harsh, but I honestly do not think people will take it seriously unless I actually assert what I'm saying in appropriately forward terms.

How many people saying "step on me" about Arvelle are genuinely trying to express sexual attraction to her? How many people say that, fully meaning that they actually want to be dominated by her? How many people are saying this outside of parroting the joke?

If people thirstpost about NPCs jokingly or dead seriously, I don't care. I mean, if it's earnest, preferably on an 18+ sideblog or something so it's not hitting people unprompted, but whatever. People said stuff about Arlo, and Joxar, and Galore, and I did not have any gripes, because they were not perpetuating harmful, fetishizing behavior in their word choices.

When you say "we so rarely get muscular masc presenting female characters so of course people go batshit over it," that is part of the issue. Not just the fact that we don't have more of these characters, but the fact that people make a spectacle of the ones we do have. Whatever natural boundary in people's minds that makes them understand that it's inappropriate to bring up femdom kinks unprompted in public (especially, as the FR tag is, safe for work) spaces just turns off for some reason when a woman suddenly has a body type deemed uncommon. (With the obvious follow-up being that muscular women are not the only group to get disproportionately sexualized for their body type alone.) They've dressed it up in some sort of "compliment," sure, but they are fully, openly, and uncritically othering someone based on their physical features regardless.

And when you say that "most of the posts I have seen have not been putting emphasis on her being violent but just like appreciating her," it's just showing the road to hell is paved with good intentions. It's good that most people aren't saying things like "step on me" and are either being more appropriate in their comments, and/or happy for the representation in general. But this is not about them. Explicitly so. Sure, we could give more people the benefit of the doubt- which, to be clear, if someone genuinely didn't think through the implications, I'm not gonna hold that against them- but the behavior needs to be corrected in the first place. It doesn't matter if someone said it hyperbolically, or didn't really mean it like that, because that doesn't change what they actually said, implied, and perpetuated. The only thing that matters is more careful and considerate choices in the future.

Which is all to say: I get the confusion, but find it misplaced. Obviously, when anyone says "you're fetishizing a character based on certain traits," the knee-jerk reaction is typically "so you can't find those traits attractive?" which, considering the human instinct to absolve oneself of perceived wrongdoing, is a natural reaction, but one that misses the point. The issue is not sexual attraction, but fetishism. Saying you're attracted to a muscular woman is fine, saying you want to have sex with a muscular woman is fine. But when the consistent reaction to muscular women just EXISTING is assuming that they would be sexually dominant, or that people saying they want to be actually physically assaulted by them, there is an issue, and one that can't just be handwaved with good intentions.

[thekidsarentalright]

haii atlas hope ur doing well 💕 infinity on high for the ask game 💙

thriller- "Long live the car crash hearts, cry on the couch and / All the poets come to life, fix me in forty-five" as well as "The only thing I haven't done yet is die / And it's me and my plus one at the afterlife / Crowds are won and lost and won again / But our hearts beat for the diehards"

"the take over, the breaks over"- "People will dissect us till / This doesn't mean a thing anymore"

this ain't a scene- "I wrote the gospel on giving up / (You look pretty sinking) / But the real bombshells have already sunk / (Prima donnas of the gutter)"

i'm like a lawyer- "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact / Is to realize two out of three ain't bad"

hum hallelujah- "The road outside my house was paved with good intentions / Hired a construction crew 'cause it's hell on the engine" and like. literally the rest of the song lmao

golden- "Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams / Where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens"

thnks fr th mmrs- "They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers / In hotels room, collecting page-six lovers / Get me out of my mind and get you out of your clothes / I'm a liner away from getting you into the mood"

don't you know who I think I am?- "They say quitters never win / But we walk the plank on a sinking ship / There's a world outside my door / That gets off on being down"

the (after) life of the party- "Singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate" as well as "I'm a stitch away from making it / And a scar away from falling apart / Blood cells pixelate and eyes dilate / Kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all my friends"

the carpal tunnel of love- "Slept through the weekend, and dreaming / Of sinking with the melody off the cliffs of eternity / Got postcards from my former self saying, "How you been?'"

bang the doldrums- "And I cast a spell over the west to make you think of me / The same way I think of you / This is a love song in my own way / Happily ever after below the waist"

fame < infamy- "I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with / Such quick wit without a conscience equipped"

you're crashing, but you're no wave- "And everyone's looking for relief / United States versus disbelief / Mother cast tears on both sides of the aisle / Clear your throat and face the world / The verdict falls like bachelors for bad luck girls / Only breathing with the aid of denial"

I've got all this ringing- "Do you remember the way I held your hand / Under the lamp post and ran / Home this way, so many times / I could close my eyes?"

ginasfs- "And I've traced your shadows over the wall, now I kiss them / Whenever I'm down, whenever I'm down / Figured on not figuring / Myself out"

it's hard to say 'I do', when I don't- "You're appealing to emotions that I simply do not have / Blackmailed myself / 'Cause I ain't got anyone else"

[todobaku-shoukat]

... i shld have learnt fr my sis. Years ago, she wanted to make a light novel/otome game or something so she decided to download and play some otome games to understand them better. Soon, she grew "addicted" and her plans of making one disappeared.

Me: wants to write palace drama for my todobaku transmigration fic. Doesnt understand the concubine rankings and google keeps giving me different answers. Decides to download a palace game to better understand. U know what happens next.

Now between sch work, preps for internship next year and the game, i dont have time to write... im sorry guys. This is why they say the road to hell is paved with good intentions...

(Also, i blame tumblr. I wasnt intending to play a game to understand the palace workings but tumblr ad was advertising and it gave me that idea...)

[seo1code-blog]

Redirection and International SEO

Many websites try to make the user’s life easier by automatically redirecting her to the language/region version of their content that they infer based on IP address. But this approach is full of SEO pitfalls you should know about. In other words, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

If you do automatic redirects, make sure there is a separate page (URL) that redirects to the appropriate page. No individual country/language URL should auto-redirect. In other words, do this:

The 3 language versions are self-explanatory. But note that the x-default version of the page is a new URL, different from all the others. Only visitors to that specific URL should be automatically redirected.Based on their IP address, you can choose to redirect them to any of the 3 language-specific pages.

However, if a visitor from Ireland is trying to access your /fr/ (French) page, let her access it. Do not redirect her to English. Not only can this be frustrating for someone genuinely interested in the French page, it can also lead to all kinds of trouble with search engine bots.

Say Googlebot is crawling your site. Google tends to use a 66.249.x.x IP address, which is a U.S.-based IP. So your smart website will detect a US visitor. Now when Googlebot tries to access the French page, it will get redirected to your English page. So Googlebot will think the French page isn’t really an independent page after all; it’s just a duplicate that redirects to the English page. Google will be forced to ignore your French page, and might show you a “missing return tags” error because it couldn’t find the right French page that links back to the English page.

Mistakes to Avoid when Auto-redirecting I prefer language/country chooser pages rather than automatic redirects because redirects are easy to screw up. But if you absolutely must use redirects, here is how to do it:

Use separate redirector pages solely for redirecting. Use 1 redirector page for each set of internationalized pages. In the example above, http://www.example.com/product is the redirector page for the set of 3 pages http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html and /es/product.html. Similarly, you can have /product-2 auto-redirect to one of /en/product-2, /es/product-2 and /fr/product-2.

Never automatically redirect a visitor (human or bot) that is trying to access a specific language version page that has content. In our example, that means never auto-redirecting when the page requested is one of http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html or /es/product.html

Using Cookies: When you use an IP address to auto-redirect, the process involves a potentially time-consuming or expensive step of geolocation. Many websites store a cookie on the user’s browser to cache info about the user’s detected locale; this is done so that for all subsequent page requests, the geolocation step can be skipped. It makes the website faster, but when it’s done wrong it can create problems. It is infuriating as a user to find that a website will not let you change your locale even if you want to. Say a Spanish user is traveling and in London right now. Based on their IP address, they were auto-redirected to /en/page.htmlinstead of what they wanted i.e., /es/page.html. Not only were they redirected, they were cookied — let’s label this an English user because we know they want English! Except they don’t. Don’t make the user’s life difficult by cookie-ing them and removing all options to change their language.

Cookies are also used when there is a country-chooser page where a user manually selects their preferred language. The cookie is meant to save the user’s choice but sometimes creates problems. For example, airline websites for international travelers may save the user’s choice of a foreign country and not let them choose their home country even after they return home.

If you get technical SEO on your site right, you won’t need cookies. Say the user goes to www.airlinewebsite.com and chooses US/English as her site content preference. She is redirected to the US/English site. Ideally, all links on this version of the site should point to the US/English version of the content they are linking to. e.g. /en/product.html should link to /en/product2.html, /en/shipping.html etc. Once the user is in the English bubble, ordinary browsing will naturally and effortlessly keep her in the English bubble. Use country-chooser pages to let the user change this preference freely, without using cookies to force them into this bubble.

[clockwork-artifices]

I return with more words... when I said other ppl I should have been clearer sorry!! I mainly meant more like how Iarlath manipulated Kieran into basically ratting Mark because he thought he was helping him, and how Kieran was raised in a shitty way & how that Kieran just doesn't fully understand human behaviours that well. I honestly think Cristina, Mark & Kieran are a much nicer dynamic because it makes Kier less dependant on Mark and makes him realise that he was being possessive abt Mark.

 “Sry the word limits on asks makes communication hard… but I definitely agree you can’t blame abuse on other people but I’m not trying to justify what he did, I’m trying to say more like “yeah he fucked up but he did it with best intent” I guess I just I want them to work out & I want them to be more than what people make them out to be. I also think I sent my last ask not anon & welp idk we can talk just one on one now or I guess that u could answer it publically though that’s not my pref idk” (2/2)

lol no, you sent it on anon, your identity is still safe i guess.

yeah, Iarlath manipulated kieran, but I think it’s obvious that kieran´s decision to tell gwyn what mark said was (as cc said too) in part to save him, but also because he was jealous,  after he saw him with cristina (he was actually jealous of everybody tbh) he broke the acorn and clearly looked upset, he thought he was losing mark and that bringing him back to the hunt was going to fix things (which is kind of stupid lol bc the hunt is in no way a better place to be since he was going to be tortured even worse than before). Kieran was raised in a shitty way and is a faerie, yes, but as you said, you can´t justify and excuse with that your actions and decisions that are clearly hurting your partner, plus then we should excuse and understand the seelie queen’s manipulative tricks and betrayals, the unseelie king “evilness” bc that´s how faeries acts too, and about the intentions…well,  it is said that the road to hell is paved with good intentions lol but fr, more than what happened with julian and emma (the whippings) or a single action he could have done, it’s his attitude, the possessivness, dependence and inconsistency on his character, that makes that relationship abusive, which is not kieran´s fault, I mean it is, but not really  bc he is just a character created by cc, that´s why in most of the things i said I mention her,  she is the one who decided to portray and make them act like that, instead of making them work in a different way, give them more opportunities to talk and make things better, she decided to include that unnecessary memory loss plot that if anything it made me dislike kieran more. And ughh lol about kierarktina i totally disagree, I have said this before and I would repeat it till I die, I think cc needs to fix kierark and all their problems, but between them and not use cristina as a “bridge” to help them communicate and fix the unhealthy and unstable parts in their dynamic. The worst  thing she can do is bring her into their relationship as messy as it is now, also the whole triad part seems so rushed and occ to me, though i know it’s going to be the endgame. If it were up to me, I’d rather like cc focusing on kierark (if that’s what she wants, as it seems) and try to give them some realistic, credible resolution to their problems, than kierarktina, if marktina isn´t an option ofc, but that whole rhetoric of adding other people, cristina, to ”balance them out” sounds even more toxic. 

I kinda (just kinda) understand you want kierark to work out, I guess at the beginning they were cute, sadly a lot of things happened, some lines were crossed, cc made them take a path that, for me, caused their rs do more harm than good. I, idk if  marktina or another couple i like, if their rs dynamic started to seem unhealthy, no matter how much i wanted them together, i would stop shipping/liking them. I guess some people are different it’s hard for them to stop rooting for something they really like (obvs not in a fetishizion case), but that also bothers me a bit, like they realize their relationship it’s not okay, they know it’s abusive, but still like it somehow, and even if they aware of  that, at the end it doesn´t make any difference bc they are still supporting it, and by doing that people are going to keep normalizing it then, thinking it´s okay, cc will continue to think that this kind of rs she wrote is okay and “cute” bc people like it therefore she should not give those problematics any importance, but whatever, as I said, people are different and I know that I’m not going to change anyone´s mind lol

[how-to-get-the-best-seo]

Redirection and International SEO

Many websites try to make the user’s life easier by automatically redirecting her to the language/region version of their content that they infer based on IP address. But this approach is full of SEO pitfalls you should know about. In other words, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

If you do automatic redirects, make sure there is a separate page (URL) that redirects to the appropriate page. No individual country/language URL should auto-redirect. In other words, do this:

The 3 language versions are self-explanatory. But note that the x-default version of the page is a new URL, different from all the others. Only visitors to that specific URL should be automatically redirected.Based on their IP address, you can choose to redirect them to any of the 3 language-specific pages.

However, if a visitor from Ireland is trying to access your /fr/ (French) page, let her access it. Do not redirect her to English. Not only can this be frustrating for someone genuinely interested in the French page, it can also lead to all kinds of trouble with search engine bots.

Say Googlebot is crawling your site. Google tends to use a 66.249.x.x IP address, which is a U.S.-based IP. So your smart website will detect a US visitor. Now when Googlebot tries to access the French page, it will get redirected to your English page. So Googlebot will think the French page isn’t really an independent page after all; it’s just a duplicate that redirects to the English page. Google will be forced to ignore your French page, and might show you a “missing return tags” error because it couldn’t find the right French page that links back to the English page.

Mistakes to Avoid when Auto-redirecting I prefer language/country chooser pages rather than automatic redirects because redirects are easy to screw up. But if you absolutely must use redirects, here is how to do it:

Use separate redirector pages solely for redirecting. Use 1 redirector page for each set of internationalized pages. In the example above, http://www.example.com/product is the redirector page for the set of 3 pages http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html and /es/product.html. Similarly, you can have /product-2 auto-redirect to one of /en/product-2, /es/product-2 and /fr/product-2.

Never automatically redirect a visitor (human or bot) that is trying to access a specific language version page that has content. In our example, that means never auto-redirecting when the page requested is one of http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html or /es/product.html

Using Cookies: When you use an IP address to auto-redirect, the process involves a potentially time-consuming or expensive step of geolocation. Many websites store a cookie on the user’s browser to cache info about the user’s detected locale; this is done so that for all subsequent page requests, the geolocation step can be skipped. It makes the website faster, but when it’s done wrong it can create problems. It is infuriating as a user to find that a website will not let you change your locale even if you want to. Say a Spanish user is traveling and in London right now. Based on their IP address, they were auto-redirected to /en/page.htmlinstead of what they wanted i.e., /es/page.html. Not only were they redirected, they were cookied — let’s label this an English user because we know they want English! Except they don’t. Don’t make the user’s life difficult by cookie-ing them and removing all options to change their language.

Cookies are also used when there is a country-chooser page where a user manually selects their preferred language. The cookie is meant to save the user’s choice but sometimes creates problems. For example, airline websites for international travelers may save the user’s choice of a foreign country and not let them choose their home country even after they return home.

If you get technical SEO on your site right, you won’t need cookies. Say the user goes to www.airlinewebsite.com and chooses US/English as her site content preference. She is redirected to the US/English site. Ideally, all links on this version of the site should point to the US/English version of the content they are linking to. e.g. /en/product.html should link to /en/product2.html, /en/shipping.html etc. Once the user is in the English bubble, ordinary browsing will naturally and effortlessly keep her in the English bubble. Use country-chooser pages to let the user change this preference freely, without using cookies to force them into this bubble.

[thekidsarentalright]

infinity on high

thriller: "The only thing I haven't done yet is die / and it's me and my plus one at the afterlife / Crowds are won and lost and won again / but our hearts beat for the diehards"

"the take over, the breaks over": "People will dissect us till / this doesn't mean a thing anymore"

this ain't a scene, it's an arms race: "Bandwagon's full, please catch another"

i'm like a lawyer: "The best way to make it through with hearts and wrists intact / is to realize two out of three ain't bad, ain't bad"

hum hallelujah: "The road outside my house was paved with good intentions / hired a construction crew cause it's hell on the engine" and also the entire second verse <3

golden: "Tongues on the sockets of electric dreams / where the sewage of youth drowned the spark of my teens"

thnks fr th mmrs: "They say I only think in the form of crunching numbers / in hotel rooms, collecting page six lovers"

don't you know who i think i am?: "We're broken down on memory lane, alone together, we're alone"

the (after) life of the party: "Singing songs that could only catch the ear of the desperate" ALSO "I'm a stitch away from making it / and a scar away from falling apart / blood cells pixilate and eyes dilate / kiss away young thrills and kills on the mouths of all my friends"

the carpal tunnel of love: "We bullet the words at the mockingbirds singing / slept through the weekend, and dreaming / of sinking with the melody off the cliffs of eternity"

bang the doldrums: "This is a love song in my own way / happily ever after below the waist"

fame < infamy: "I am God's gift, but why would he bless me with / such wit without a conscience equipped / I'm addicted to the way I feel when I think of you / there's too much green to feel blue"

you're crashing, but you're no wave: "Hang on rope or bated breath / whichever you prefer" AND "The press prays for whichever headlines worse" AND ALSO "Fresh pressed suit and tie, unimpressed birds sing and die / can talk my way out of anything / the foreman reads the verdict, 'in the above entitled actions / we find the defendant guilty, guilty, guilty, guilty...'"

i've got all this ringing: "Do you remember the way I held your hand / under a lamp post and ran / home this way, so many times / I could close my eyes?"

ginasfs: "And I've traced your shadows on the wall, now I kiss them / whenever I'm down, whenever I'm down / figured on not figuring / myself out"

it's hard to say 'i do', when i don't: "When I said I'd return to you, I meant more like a relapse / now and again, I think 'his and hers, for better or worse' / but the only ring I want buried with me / are the ones around my eyes"

[seo1code-blog]

Redirection and International #SEO

Redirection and International SEO

Many websites try to make the user’s life easier by automatically redirecting her to the language/region version of their content that they infer based on IP address. But this approach is full of SEO pitfalls you should know about. In other words, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

If you do automatic redirects, make sure there is a separate page (URL) that redirects to the appropriate page. No individual country/language URL should auto-redirect. In other words, do this:

The 3 language versions are self-explanatory. But note that the x-default version of the page is a new URL, different from all the others. Only visitors to that specific URL should be automatically redirected.Based on their IP address, you can choose to redirect them to any of the 3 language-specific pages.

However, if a visitor from Ireland is trying to access your /fr/ (French) page, let her access it. Do not redirect her to English. Not only can this be frustrating for someone genuinely interested in the French page, it can also lead to all kinds of trouble with search engine bots.

Say Googlebot is crawling your site. Google tends to use a 66.249.x.x IP address, which is a U.S.-based IP. So your smart website will detect a US visitor. Now when Googlebot tries to access the French page, it will get redirected to your English page. So Googlebot will think the French page isn’t really an independent page after all; it’s just a duplicate that redirects to the English page. Google will be forced to ignore your French page, and might show you a “missing return tags” error because it couldn’t find the right French page that links back to the English page.

Mistakes to Avoid when Auto-redirecting I prefer language/country chooser pages rather than automatic redirects because redirects are easy to screw up. But if you absolutely must use redirects, here is how to do it:

Use separate redirector pages solely for redirecting. Use 1 redirector page for each set of internationalized pages. In the example above, http://www.example.com/product is the redirector page for the set of 3 pages http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html and /es/product.html. Similarly, you can have /product-2 auto-redirect to one of /en/product-2, /es/product-2 and /fr/product-2.

Never automatically redirect a visitor (human or bot) that is trying to access a specific language version page that has content. In our example, that means never auto-redirecting when the page requested is one of http://www.example.com/en/product.html, /fr/product.html or /es/product.html

Using Cookies: When you use an IP address to auto-redirect, the process involves a potentially time-consuming or expensive step of geolocation. Many websites store a cookie on the user’s browser to cache info about the user’s detected locale; this is done so that for all subsequent page requests, the geolocation step can be skipped. It makes the website faster, but when it’s done wrong it can create problems. It is infuriating as a user to find that a website will not let you change your locale even if you want to. Say a Spanish user is traveling and in London right now. Based on their IP address, they were auto-redirected to /en/page.htmlinstead of what they wanted i.e., /es/page.html. Not only were they redirected, they were cookied — let’s label this an English user because we know they want English! Except they don’t. Don’t make the user’s life difficult by cookie-ing them and removing all options to change their language.

Cookies are also used when there is a country-chooser page where a user manually selects their preferred language. The cookie is meant to save the user’s choice but sometimes creates problems. For example, airline websites for international travelers may save the user’s choice of a foreign country and not let them choose their home country even after they return home.

If you get technical SEO on your site right, you won’t need cookies. Say the user goes to www.airlinewebsite.com and chooses US/English as her site content preference. She is redirected to the US/English site. Ideally, all links on this version of the site should point to the US/English version of the content they are linking to. e.g. /en/product.html should link to /en/product2.html, /en/shipping.html etc. Once the user is in the English bubble, ordinary browsing will naturally and effortlessly keep her in the English bubble. Use country-chooser pages to let the user change this preference freely, without using cookies to force them into this bubble.