#the relationship itself works & i think about how that’s so much of what adulthood is. when things work why would you wreck it

[tepidblue]

love is when someone recommends u specific songs from an artist & you like them! but then you realise they took ur music taste into account & u are a little pig being held aloft to admire the cosmos that you’d otherwise never see

[cinnamostar]

blankets and kisses

pairing : chan x gn!reader

summary : the bitter iciness of winter wore you down, yet your boyfriend knew how to melt away your sorrows

wc : 913

cw : alludes to seasonal depression, established relationship, comforting bf chan, fluffy, not proof read

a/n : this was entirely self indulgent LMAO sorry if formatting is bad though, im on my phone and wrote this kinda quickly bc i felt inspired hehe . also im floridian so i know nothing abt snow or winter so i did my best

in the hushed whispers of the night, you found yourself yearning his comforting embrace, a closeness you always craved and yearned for. the chilling zephyrs brushing against your skin, your hair bellowing in response as you shiver under the icy winds the harsh winter always brought in its company.

you couldn’t bear this season alone, it was taxing to repeat the same mundanity and solitude adulthood had introduced you to. daylight was always so fleeting and witnessing it had become a luxury during these cold months.

it was always the same deep blue morning sky that greeted you as you made your way to work, and after eight grueling hours, the same sky would be waiting to be welcome you once more, except this time with the sun rays barely peeking out from the edge of the sky. you hated this time of year, and you could never understand the holiday joy and excitement everyone seemed to buzzing with around you. what was there to enjoy?

the weather was unpleasant, the low temperatures of the world pricking the tip of your nose as you briskly made your way home, trudging your way through the light sheets of snow that covered the sidewalks. the glacial breeze never relented its attacks on you, always piercing through the layers of warmth you adorned yourself with.

the lack of sunlight allowed dreary, dark clouds take over your mind as you surrendered yourself to exhaustion. how much longer would your days be like this? how much longer would the wintry season plague your mind with somber thoughts?

you crack for the door open to your shared apartment, basking in its inviting warmth that provided you refuge from the world you had just shut behind you. the comforting smell of fresh linen making its presence known as a grateful smile graces your features. you gently place your bag on the small side table, shedding the layers of coats you had worn to endure freezing winds, not caring that they’d remain on the floor.

your mind was too focused on finding solace and reprieve to worry about your belongings as your feet dragged you to your living room. your own personal source sunshine that kept your afloat during these difficult times was waiting for you on the sofa, his head turning to your direction once he heard the pitter patter of your steps.

a smile stretches across his face, his eyes becoming crescents as he lifts himself off the couch to meet you half way.

“hi baby,” chan whispers as his arms envelope you, a chaste kiss landing on your forehead, melting away the restricting stiffness the icy winds had diseased you with. the tension in your muscles loosen under his summery touch, your mind relaxing knowing you had found safety in his arms once again.

“hi,” was all you could muster out, your sleepiness catching up to you as your heavy eyelids flutter shut, snuggling your head into his chest, taking in the comforting thumping of his heartbeat.

chan’s hand found itself resting atop your head, his other drawing gentle circles on your back, “i warmed up some blankets for us to cuddle up in,” he spoke, “i think you deserve some rest.” he knew this time of year was suffocating for you and without fail, he found ways to bring light and warmth into your gloomy world, whether it was through gentle words or acts of love, he was the healing your ailing mind needed.

his words were soothing to your worn-down soul, a small smile appearing on your face as you peer into his eyes, chin resting on his chest. “that sounds so nice, thank you, chan,” you feebly mutter.

without skipping a beat, chan swiftly lifts you up, carrying you to your bedroom as a hearty giggle escapes him, you squealing at the unexpected action. he softly drops you atop the bed, the sheets rippling under the sudden weight as you lost yourself to a fit a giggles, blood rushing to your face as you succumbed to the bustling butterflies that made themselves home in your stomach. chan lays himself next to you, hastily pulling a toasty blanket over your bodies. his arms pull you into him, your body fitting snuggly into his as his leg rests over yours. he cups your face with one hand as his lovingly gazes into your eyes, his eyes sparkling with adoration as he drank in every detail before peppering your face with kisses.

airy laughs continue to leave both of you, overwhelming you as each kiss tickles your flustered skin, leaving burning warmth and desire behind each kiss as your eyes squeeze shut. after bearing his feverish affection, he then places one last, languid kiss on your lips, lingering for a few moments before pulling away, beaming at your dazed state.

“i love you, y/n.”

“i love you too, chan.”

despite the brutal winter season that sapped the happiness out of you, as long as you had chan by your side, you knew you’d be able to uncover the joyful glee everyone else seemed to have. his very presence shooed away the heavy snow clouds that darkened your thoughts, rays of sunshine peaking out to thaw out the icy shell that encased your heart, reminding you that this too shall pass. somehow, in the midst of harsh snowstorms, he was a blooming flower that emanated infectious jubilation, and you were blessed to be able to bask underneath it.

[blueepink07]

Yuno: her struggling relationship with autonomy

(character analysis)

One aspect I have always loved about media characters is their attempt to be perceived as mature, despite their young age. Some succeed, others struggle to hide what they see as their childish side.

Yuno is no different in this context and I'm surprised that people don't talk about it enough.

Beginning with her age 18, it's truly a controversial age, if I may say. It's a confusing age, because you are technically considered an adult, but, at the same time, your mind is not fully developed to actually be one. In the end, you are still a child at heart and mind, despite the fact that you are legally an adult.

We don't know much of her home life and honestly I don't think it would do any good for me to make assumptions, since it's pointless in the long run and it would just lose credibility. However, one thing it's for sure based on Yuno's actions. She desires autonomy.

Yuno: Despite that, you arbitrarily assumed things about me and sympathized with me. Even though all I did was make a rational decision of my own free will.

I'm the one who chose, let you and you and you all in ~🎵

She highlights quite a lot with these phrases… She chose for herself, she is an adult who willingly decided to partake in compensated dating. Being called naive or innocent, two words that usually are used to describe little children, surely infuriated her… and she shows it.

It's funny now that I think about it. Fuuta also has the same problem, but his reactions are more childish, in the end, not doing him any justice. However, Yuno is no different. Of course, she does it in a more subtle manner, but she really does get worked up quite a lot when it comes to her being perceived more as a teenager than an adult. Her whole song it's literally about this idea. Yuno being infuriated that she is infantilized by the audience, making a sad backstory for her so they can dismiss the idea that there wasn't necessarily a big factor that provoked her to partake in compensated dating, but it's only her own free will.

I might add that the compensated dating itself is a way for Yuno to feel that she has more autonomy and she no longer needs to be treated as a child.

"An adult is a human or other animal that has reached full growth.[1] The biological definition of the word means an animal reaching sexual maturity and thus capable of reproduction." ~ wikipedia

Moreover, even the media promotes the fact that sexual content should strictly be watched by adults. And Yuno does end up having sex during some of these dates…

And if this idea isn't convincing enough… I think that Yuno likes to partake in compensated dating, because she knows the clients don't consider her a child. They are interested in her, in a way that makes Yuno feel satisfied with herself (at least, for a short period of time, when she is in their presence) she feels grown up and mature. She also receives money for her services, providing her with enough financial resources for Yuno to consider that she finally managed to complete one of the first steps of adulthood, to be financially stable.

Doing something that is not really socially accepted, again, can be considered as autonomy, because you do not follow the same rules that the society obligs. Yuno knows how compensated dating is perceived, but she still does it, because she thinks this action provides her "warmth".

The "warmth" that Yuno speaks about is a vague term to describe her desires. Based on her interactions, I would like to think that this term refers to genuineness and mutual understanding. Yuno, in the first VD, describes the society as being a place where "everyone eats each other". People need to point fingers at others who made a mistake, who did something that's not socially accepted to make themselves feel better.

Yuno: That’s right. You know those people who just wanna convince themselves, so they intrude in other people’s affairs even though it’s not their place—I despise them. That’s what I was saying. They only do that to make themselves feel better, don’t they? Those people don’t actually end up doing anything.

And you know what is interesting? The fact that Yuno finds more closure being in the company of some murderers. Why? Because they can also be considered some outcasts of the society that she pretty much dislikes.

Es: However, it also explains why you’ve given up. About yourself, human beings, even the whole of society, you’ve realised everything—that’s why your expression is so cold.

Teenagers usually have little power in our society. They can achieve great things, but have to go through more hardships due to the limited freedom. They need an adult to actually help them. That’s just how society is built.

Yuno's distaste for the society can explain why she has grown so fast, or, at least, thinks that she has matured enough. She was tired of the society inflicting on her rules that she, as a simple teenager, had to oblige. So, going into Milgram, starting to hear people crafting a sob backstory for Yuno, treating her like a child, despite the fact she has already done a few steps in order to sustain herself financially and emotionally as a young adult, it's truly insulting.

Es: This is just popular belief, but the law is also something the people have decided. There’s nothing, which can satisfy every single human being, now is there?

Yuno: That’s right.

However, even after all these, that doesn't mean she doesn't actually struggle with this new found autonomy that she craves.

I actually think that this autonomy is the cause of most of her suffering.

As I stated before, compensated dating is something that she decided to partake in, in order to prove her independence. She thinks that what she has chosen for herself is healing, helping her. But, if it's that the case, then why do we have these scenes?

It's difficult to admit that one of your decisions was actually… Quite wrong. Especially, when it's one of your first one's as an official adult, in the very first stage of your life when you finally have enough independence.

“Cognitive dissonance is what we feel when the self-concept — I’m smart, I’m kind, I’m convinced this belief is true — is threatened by evidence that we did something that wasn’t smart, that we did something that hurt another person, that the belief isn’t true,” said Carol Tavris, a co-author of the book “Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me).”

She added that cognitive dissonance threatened our sense of self.

To reduce dissonance, we have to modify the self-concept or accept the evidence,” Ms. Tavris said. “Guess which route people prefer?”

So which one does Yuno prefer? To convince herself that what she is doing makes her happy.

Yuno: Despite that, you arbitrarily assumed things about me and sympathized with me. Even though all I did was make a rational decision of my own free will.

Yuno: I’m not pitiable. My family gets along super well. And I’m not particularly struggling for money. I decided, of my own free will, to do it because I felt that it was necessary for me.

Sometimes, considering how many times she mentions it, for me it feels like Yuno tries to convince herself that what she is doing is good for her.

But you know what is funny to me?

She is good at making herself enjoyable for others as well as giving somewhat good advice:

Mahiru: My birthday…… the day I was born……But was there really any reason for me being born? Lately I’ve started to wonder that. Do you ever think about stuff like that, Yuno-chan?

Yuno: Eh? Not really. I mean, Mahiru-san, you’re really the romantic type, right? Not that I have anything against that. But isn’t it a bit much to think that everything in life has a meaning? If it makes you happy to think like that then go ahead, but if it doesn’t, then isn’t that in itself meaningless?

Mahiru: : ……you might be right. I’ve always just lived my life like this, so I don’t really know.

Yuno: We’ve all just gone through a bunch of things in life that happened to lead us here. It’s nothing more than a coincidence. Definitely not fate or anything. Probably. Even if there isn’t a meaning, you can still be happy that it’s your birthday. That sort of thing’s all you need in life really. So happy birthday, Mahiru-san.

Mahiru: ……no, I’m fine. As long as I don’t move too much I don’t even feel any pain. Sorry for making you worry.

Yuno: Oh, really? That’s good then. Mahiru-san, if there’s anything you want then just ask. It’s not like it’s a huge burden, I can just ask for it along with my own stuff.

Mahiru: Ok…… I’m fine for now. Sorry, for making you worry. Ah, Yuno-chan…… Today’s your birthday, right? Happy birthday.

Yuno: …Haha, thanks. Thank you, but y’know. Is it really ok for you to be saying that to me when you’re in that situation?... you really aren’t suited for Milgram, huh, Mahiru-san.

Amane: What is it… Kashiki Yuno. Don’t sit so close to me. Go away.

Yuno: Sorry for barging in when you’re getting into your worldview thing. But Mahiru-san’s finally managed to get to sleep. Humour me with some small talk while I take a break. By the way, Amane. Have you ever wished you were never born? I’ve thankfully lived a pretty fun life so far, so haven’t really. But you seem to be struggling with something. So I kinda wondered if you thought like that.

Amane: ……I don’t think that. Being born into this world is the first miracle any person experiences, and is something to celebrate. Even if after birth I was put through trial after trial, the value of that will never disappear.

Yuno: Hmm. Ok…happy birthday, then. It’s good that you were brought into the world, I guess.

But Yuno has a big, and I mean a BIG tendency to self-destruct, not intentionally.

Wanting to be independent comes with its own downfalls. At the beginning of the trial, Jackalope states that Yuno has distanced herself from social interactions. So much so, that we have never seen her actually confiding to someone else, in any of the portal timeline translations. She might have her reasons, either minimizing her problems, and using her energy to help the ones she deems to have worse than her, or, this is simply her nature to bottle up her own sadness. This again might also be the cause of her wanting autonomy and proving to herself and others that she is mature enough to manage her emotions.

Not confiding in someone else for a long time can cause depression. Something that Yuno might be struggling with during trial 3 or she is already struggling with it a bit.

Furthermore, it's interesting that Yuno admits disliking behaviors that she deems childish. For example, she doesn't like the way Haruka and Muu behave, because they are ignorant of the problems in prison and have a really childish way of thinking. Amane's hate towards Shidou, might be often wrongly interpreted as a simple child's tantrum. Kotoko's actions, responding with violence to violence, it's again, an aspect often deemed as childish and immature.

Yuno: Really? If you ask me, Kotoko is someone I would never want to make my friend, though. She’s the type who picks a conclusion from the very beginning and won’t actually talk with you.

Yuno: Well, I guess it’s arbitrary who one gets along with. But Mahiru-san in particular is something. I think both her body and mind are at their limits. Also, Mikoto-san was also attacked but apparently it ended up in something of a draw. That guy was strong, huh—how unexpected. Also Haruka and Muu-chan have become kind of bothersome. And additionally, Amane-chan and Shidou-san too, huh.

Lastly, her second MV also shows her desire of autonomy in Milgram, not only through lyrics, but through visuals too.

Beginning with her door, it looks a lot like a medieval castle door.

Her room, the way it is designed, especially the bed and the chair, also resemble a princess' room.

However:

Despite the important role that princesses played in courtly life, they had limited personal freedom. They were often kept under close guard and were rarely allowed to leave the palace or castle where they lived. This was done to protect them from danger and to prevent them from engaging in political activities that might undermine the authority of the king or prince.

Medieval princesses had little to no autonomy most of the time. Their life was dictated from the start, having the only purpose to be betrothed and give birth to children.

That’s why the design choice is intentional. Yuno feels like a princess trapped in her pretty room (the MV is quite claustrophobic, the only outside elements being a few memories), exposed to the world (the many windows imply this), the voices that keep demonizing her.

That’s why the scene where she starts breaking things in her room is so important. It serves as a sign of rebellion, to show that she is not the perfect, helpless princess that people like to portray her as. She is an adult who makes bad or good decisions, who thinks for herself. She is proud of her autonomy and is tired of constantly proving to others that she is not capable of taking care of herself.

[matchagator]

Clash | jjk (Mature) Finale Ch.10

The finale of Clash is finally here! This has been such a fun project for me to work on and I have loved every moment of it. I hope you enjoy the ending. Please leave me a comment sharing your thoughts, opinions, and highlights of the series. You guys have been amazing and I appreciate you for reblogging, liking, and supporting my writing! Until next time! -Emmy 💜

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Finale

{Main Pairings:} Jeon Jungkook x Female Reader

{Rating:} 18+

{Genre:} Slice of Life | Neighbors

{Summary:} You're a new resident in your very first apartment excited to enjoy the simple life of adulthood. Unfortunately for you, you continue to run into unruly neighbors no matter how much you try to keep to yourself.

{Warnings:} Mature Language, Enemies to Lovers, Hostility, Mild Angst, Sexual Tension, Banter, Smut, Mild Degradation, Sexual Content, Prank Wars, Unprotected Sex, Awkward Tension, Fluff, Oral Sex, Teasing, Blood, Peril, Car Accident, Elements of Cheating, Exes, Jealousy

After a late-night run to your favorite local ice cream parlor, you find yourself peering out of the window as Jungkook drives you both home from your date. Your mind can’t help but swirl with thoughts of the bowling alley, annoyed that the sight of your ex-boyfriend seems to plague your mind with insecurities from the past. You shift your eyes onto Jungkook, noticing that he’s been staring occasionally as his eyes flicker from the road to you.

“Everything alright?” He asks, noticing your mood slowly fade from your usual sassy demeanor to being more quiet and reserved. You try to offer him a smile, not realizing that your expression instantly exposes your worry. 

“Hmm? Oh…yeah, I’m fine.” Your words are a blatant lie as you think about your relationship with Jungkook. This is the first time since Han’s infidelity that you allow yourself to have feelings for someone and you still get a glimpse of fear that the heartbreak might consume you all over again, only worse this time.

Jungkook simply leans back in the driver’s seat, keeping his eyes on the road as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel. “It’s never going to happen.” He states plainly, causing you to glance back at him.

“What?” You ask slightly confused as Jungkook shifts his large bug eyes back in your direction, a sincere smile stretching across his lips. 

“What you��re worried about.” You blink as you process his words, not realizing that your worries of history repeating itself would be so prominent. “He’s a fucking idiot. You think I’d be dumb enough to ever look elsewhere?” He continues on, somehow managing to snap you out of your worries as his handsome smile morphs into a smirk. “Hell, even when I sleep I can’t stop thinking about you.” 

You suddenly feel any sentiment that Han had ever plagued upon you fade away as Jungkook’s smirk causes you to become playful. “Oh, so you can’t stop thinking about me, hmm?” You grin as Jungkook turns into the parking garage of your apartment complex, finding a spot relatively close to the door leading into the main lobby. 

“Unfortunately not.” He teases as he puts the car in park, looking over at you with his bright big eyes. You feel your heart flutter as he looks at you with genuine admiration, allowing you to feel more confident that this relationship will have a vastly different ending. You can’t recall a single moment that Han ever looked at you in such a way that could melt you from the inside out. 

You bring your hand up to rest on Jungkook’s cheek, confirming that this is all reality and you aren’t just dreaming of this moment. “Thank you…for tonight.” You whisper, leaning over the center console to press a kiss onto his lips, enjoying the cool sensation of his lip piercing as your lips mold to his. 

When you pull away, you feel your limbs relax as you sigh in contentment, smiling up brightly at the man you still can’t believe is now your boyfriend. How is it that, not long ago, you avoided him like the plague while now you wait hopelessly for him to text you back? 

Jungkook enjoys the sight of you relaxing from his touch as he runs his hand through your hair, sprawling his fingertips against the back of your head as he guides you back into him, catching your lips between his teeth as he kisses you again, allowing his tongue to invade the barrier of your lips. You instinctually moan from the warmth of his tongue, causing Jungkook to seize the opportunity to press further, conquering every inch of your mouth to savor your sweet taste. 

Your hands move down to his chest, gripping the fabric of his sweater as you boldly pull him into you, desperate to feel him against every inch of your body. The movement causes Jungkook to pause, pulling away from the kiss panting to catch his breath as you do just the same. He presses his forehead against yours, still caressing the back of your head as he fights the urge to rip the clothes clean off your body. 

“Backseat?” You huff, still trying to regulate your breathing as Jungkook shakes his head, closing his eyes for a moment as he continues holding you forehead to forehead. You pull back, a little surprised that he just shook his head no. He loved the idea of you taking him in the back seat earlier during your drive, what changed his mind since then? “You don’t want to fuck me in your backseat?” You try to confirm, narrowing your eyes suspiciously as Jungkook lets out a breathy laugh. 

Suddenly, you drop your hands from his chest, realizing that he finds your reaction amusing. You can’t help but feel your insecurities simmer back up, never knowing Jungkook to deny the opportunity for sex. “Why not?” You can’t help but pout as you snap your words in his direction, hoping he can sense your discontent. 

“Another time”. Jungkook simply continues laughing slightly under his breath at your bratty reaction, pulling you back toward him despite your protest. “Right now…I want to make love to you in my bed instead.” 

Every fiber of your being freezes at his confession, causing your pout to suddenly vanish. Did you just hear him correctly? He wants to make love to you instead? You are so taken aback that you fail to realize that Jungkook has stepped out of the car and moved over to your passenger door, opening it for you as he offers you his hand. “You coming or not, princess?” 

You finally turn to face him, letting your brain catch up from its short circuit as you take hold of Jungkook’s hand. He’s glancing down at you with a coy smile, leaving you speechless as you step out of his BMW. He closes the door behind you like a gentleman, moving around you quickly so that he can hold open the lobby door for you as well. 

As you walk through the door, Jungkook grabs ahold of your hand, enjoying even the smallest touch as he guides you to the elevators. You can’t help but feel your heart skip a beat as he gently rubs the pad of his thumb against the side of your hand. “JK…”

Before you can mutter out your thoughts, the chime of the elevator distracts you as Jungkook steps into the lift, pulling you in by the hand laced with his. You step inside only for him to pull you against his sturdy frame as he twists your body so that your back is pressed against his chest. 

As the door closes, you feel him release his hold of your hand, allowing his arms to wrap around your torso as he hugs you from behind. He rests his chin against your shoulder, his breath ghosting against the column of your neck as he gently sways you from side to side. “You look beautiful, you know that?” 

You hum happily as you close your eyes, savoring the way he’s whispering in your ear and swaying your body ever so slowly. “You too.” You mutter out, feeling so relaxed that you almost fail to realize what you said. “Not beautiful….” You stutter as your eyes snap back open.

Jungkook releases his hold of you as you turn to face him, your cheeks warm from the embarrassment of your statement. Jungkook simply chuckles at the sight as you playfully slap your hand across his chest. “You know what I mean.”

“Do I?” His eyebrows pull together in a look of confusion while his lips continue to reveal the cocky grin etched over his features. 

You smack your lips as you lean your weight to one side, popping your hip dramatically. “Don’t be an ass.” You tease him as you go to turn back away from him. Your momentum stops once he grabs your hand, spinning you back around as he pulls you back into him, crashing his lips to yours. You gasp from the moment, allowing him immediate access as his large hands grab ahold of either side of your head, holding you steady as he shamelessly ravages your mouth with his. 

You feel dizzy, his affection suffocating as you desperately cling to his body. There is no denying the physical attraction between the two of you, both of your bodies igniting with an insatiable heat for the other. As the elevator doors open to reveal that familiar corridor of the 7th floor, you feel Jungkook’s hand run down your body, cupping your ass before he lifts you off the ground, encouraging you to wrap your legs around his torso. 

Your legs cling around the chiseled waist that you love so much as he effortlessly carries you out of the elevator, refusing to break apart from your kiss. Jungkook makes his way to his apartment door as his lips begin to trail down the length of your jaw, slowly working his way down your neck. “Get my keys…” His voice is breathy against your skin as he speckles kisses along your collarbone. “Right pocket.” He continues as he begins to suck gently against your sweet spot, causing you to moan and toss your head back. 

The heat of the moment has you frantically obeying, eager to get into his apartment to get lost amongst his sheets. You curl your back, allowing yourself to slide your arm down between his, keeping your hips flush against his. As you push between your bodies, you gasp as your hand accidentally cups his hardened length, causing him to send vibrations against the column of your neck as he groans from the pressure. “Fuck, Y/n. Hurry up and get my damn keys.” 

Your hand finally snakes to the side, slipping into the right pocket of his cargo pants as you feel the cold metal of his keys against your fingertips. You grip the keyring, plucking it from the fabric as you try to gain enough clarity to fiddle around with the keys in search of the correct one. Jungkook continues to nuzzle against your shoulder, the metal of his piercing trailing against your skin. You finally find the correct key as Jungkook rotates you both till you're facing the door. You lean to the side, thankful for Jungkook’s strength keeping you in place as you turn the mechanism. 

Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to turn around and walk into his apartment, kicking the door close behind him as he shamelessly carries you across the length of his floorplan till you’re both in his bedroom. You feel your legs slide down his body as he slowly releases his hold of you until your feet are back on the ground. 

There is a moment of silence as you both stand there staring at each other, Jungkook’s grin widening as he kicks his boots off, tossing them to the side as his eyes sparkle with mischief. “Your turn.”

You freeze, quickly realizing that he’s implying it’s your turn to remove a piece of clothing. You narrow your eyes in annoyance, “Really?”

“Indulge me.” The tone of his voice dips dangerously as he raises his eyebrows as if urging you on. You can’t help but roll your eyes as you think of something to take off, realizing that your purse has been around your shoulder this entire time. You grab the strap, sliding it down the length of your arm as you hold the bag off to the side, letting it drop to the ground after a moment. “Doesn’t count.” Jungkook challenges, disappointed that so little came off. 

“It’s an accessory, Jeon.” You argue, smirking to yourself as you realize you have way more layers to peel back than Jungkook does. “Definitely counts.” You beam triumphantly as you gesture toward him to continue. “Go on.” 

Jungkook presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek, shaking his head at your sudden boost of confidence. He decides to go straight for his belt, fiddling with the buckle before slowly pulling it off from one side, allowing the material to slide through each belt loop. Your eyes trail down to his waist, unable to ignore the erection so clearly visible beneath his cargo pants. You bite your lip in anticipation before hearing his belt hit the ground. 

As you snap back out of it, you glance down at your outfit, pulling off your own footwear one at a time as you drop them to your sides. Jungkook follows by pulling off his socks, leaving you to in turn do the same before smirking maliciously at the reality that Jungkook only has so many layers left. 

“I’m waiting.” The sass in your voice only spurs Jungkook even more, wanting to toss you down and put you in your place. Thankfully, his reserve to take it slowly tonight is the only thing keeping him calm and collected as he grabs the collar of his sweater, tugging the fabric off to reveal the perfectly sculpted masterpiece that is his abdomen. 

You hold your breath at the sight, almost forgetting the view of the painted artwork up his arm given it was concealed beneath his sweater most of the evening. You admire the tattoos once again, failing to see the smug grin stretching across his lips as you blatantly check him out. “Enjoying the view?” 

Jungkook’s comment has you returning from your sexual daze, feeling flustered as you imagine his strong arms wrapping around you as he pleasures you in every sense of the word. “Shut up.” You grab the bottom of your own sweater, pulling it over your head to reveal the lacy white bra you have on underneath. 

His eyes widen at the sight, running his tongue against his bottom lip as he catches his piercing between his teeth. “So damn sexy.” He’s practically growling his remark as he stares you down like a hunter to its prey. You roll your eyes once more, striking a silly pose as you offer him the opportunity to soak it all in. 

The strip tease continues between you until Jungkook is down to his boxers, pulling them down as his firm dick stands proudly at attention. He doesn’t seem shy at all, completely comfortable in his own skin. Thankfully, due to the amount of clothing you had on, you're left in your matching bra and underwear set. While Jungkook stands naked before you, you have your arms crossed over your chest instinctually as if shielding yourself from his viewing pleasure.

Jungkook takes long slow steps towards you as the tension in the room increases, feeling the sexual desire bubbling over as he becomes desperate for a view of what treasure lies underneath the lace. “Looks like you were outnumbered.” Your voice is soft as he towers over you, suddenly becoming intimidated by his stature. 

“I can rectify that.” His voice is dripping with need, desperate to peel back the layers concealing you from him. He grabs your arms that are crossed in front of you, gently guiding them down to allow him a better view. “Don’t hide yourself from me.” He whispers as he leans in to place a kiss upon your lips, pulling back just enough to see your expression. His hand snakes around your back, his fingers grabbing hold of the latch of your bra. With one single swoop of his fingertips, he manages to completely unhook your bra, the material coming undone to give him a raw look at your breasts.

Jungkook groans in satisfaction at the sight, moving his lips to place gentle kisses down your neck as he trails his mouth down your decolletage. You moan from the warmth of his mouth against the cool air of his apartment, his arms wrapping around you and pulling your body flush against his naked being. “You're so damn gorgeous.” He mutters against your skin as he slowly begins to collapse to his knees, kissing your hardening nipples before running his tongue down the center of your sternum.

The sensations he is inflicting on you have your mind swirling, a building heat radiating from between your legs as the moisture exposes your arousal. You aren’t sure what to do when Jungkook kneels before you, his large hands gripping your waist firmly as he massages the fleshy parts of your hips. You glance down at him, feeling your cheeks flush red as he places gentle kisses along your hip bones. 

You lace your fingers through his hair, tugging ever so gently as he continues trailing kisses along the skin near the waistband of your panties. You’re in complete shock once you feel a tug against your waist, glancing down to see your waistband snatched between his teeth. “JK…What are you….” You feel embarrassed at the desperation in your voice as Jungkook begins to tug your panties down with his teeth, still gripping your hips firmly. 

A shiver courses down your spine as you feel his breath against your inner thigh, the lace tickling your skin as Jungkook manages to tug them down enough, allowing them to slide down the remainder of the way. His face is dangerously close to your most intimate region, the cold metal of his piercing tickling your thigh as he moves his hands down your waist and between your legs, pressing against them to encourage you to part them open.

Jungkook glances up at you from his position on his knees, looking devilishly handsome as mischief twinkles behind his large pupils. He’s devouring the sight of your naked heat, gloriously displayed for his pleasure as he allows the pad of his thumb to gently rub and press against your clit. 

The motion has you gasping from his touch, digging your hands ever further into his hair as your head falls back. You want more, no, you need more as you feel his head lean into you from the grip you hold on his strands. You glance back down at him just in time to see him latch his mouth directly over the folds of your vagina. 

The moan that escapes your mouth is pornographic as you feel the mixture of heat varied with the cool metal against your skin, setting you ablaze as Jungkook shamelessly devours your taste. He boldly presses his tongue forward, allowing it to tease your tight hole as his tongue licks up the center till the tip flicks against your clitoris. 

Your toes curl with excitement as you press up onto the balls of your feet, desperately searching for your balance as Jungkook ravages your pussy with his treatment. You feel his tongue flatten against your folds, his wet muscle pressing wonderfully against your core as he licks you up and down, making sure his tongue flicks over your clit multiple times. 

“Ah fuck…” you moan as you grip Jungkook’s shoulders tightly, feeling his head trapped between your thighs as he continues to devour the taste of you. “Jungkook…I…” You feel your legs begin to tremble as his tongue impales you, swirling your insides as you struggle to keep yourself standing steadily. You press your eyes shut, letting your head fall back in ecstasy. 

Your body is beginning to become engulfed in heat, the familiar build-up of your orgasm threatening to return as Jungkook begins sucking on your folds, desperate to ravage you thoroughly, leaving you in a complete state of disarray. 

“You taste so damn sweet, Y/n.” Jungkook groans against your vagina, the vibrations of his voice only stimulating you further as you grab ahold of his shoulders tighter, feeling your legs about to give out as your orgasm grows near. 

Jungkook can easily pick up on the triggers your body is giving off, grinning contently as your orgasm approaches. “That’s it, princess. Cum for me.” He snakes a hand in between your legs as he pops off of your folds, a deep guttural noise reverberating in his chest at the satisfaction of the state he’s left your swollen pussy. He slips two fingers in effortlessly from the moisture collecting between your legs, pumping his hand ruthlessly to keep your build escalating rapidly. 

The switch from his tongue to the pressure of his fingers stretching you out has a pleasurable yelp escaping your lips as you desperately try to catch your breath. Jungkook moves his arm just enough to allow his tongue to flick over your clitoris as he pumps his hand fast, fucking his fingers deep as he feels your walls strangling his digits. 

“Fuck…JK, I’m gonna…” Before you can give him much warning, the tightening band in your stomach releases, letting you savor each sensation as Jungkook continues his movements to help you ride the waves of your orgasm.  Jungkook moves his head away just in time, a devilish smirk staring up at you as you finally open your eyes to process everything. 

You sigh contently as Jungkook stands from his knees, grabbing ahold of your naked body before gently tossing you down onto his bed, loving the way your hair sprawls out over his bedsheets like a siren beckoning him in. He wastes no time crawling onto you, slowly kissing back up your body as his arms cage you beneath him.

Your body shivers with excitement despite the exhaustion your limbs already feel, bringing your arms up to wrap around his neck. Jungkook pauses when his face is inches from yours, the sexual glare from earlier softening as large bug eyes admire every inch of your features. You’re panting softly as your body recovers, watching him carefully as his pupils practically sparkle. 

There is an unspoken moment of admiration between the two of you, all of the sweltering heat from before simmering down to a comforting warmth. Jungkook lets his body relax, allowing his hips to press into you as you feel his hard member poking your thigh. He lowers himself down onto his elbows, still hovering over you as he leans his weight to one side so he can lift a hand to brush a few strands of hair from your face. 

“Y/n?” He asks with a soft tone to his voice, his eyes reflecting the same softness. You hum in response, entranced by his stare as you maintain eye contact with him. Jungkook’s hand caresses your cheek as he stares at you for another moment, his breath escaping him as he realizes exactly who is in his bed. “You’re so beautiful.” He comments quietly, almost as if he didn’t want you to hear him. 

You blink from his comment, wishing you knew the words to respond. Your mind is screaming multiple sentiments you wish would roll off your tongue. You want to tell him just how attractive and handsome you find him, especially with his piercings and tattoos. You want to tell him how amazing of a person he is and how in awe of him you are when he jumps into paramedic mode. Heck, you even want to tell him how crazy he drives you with his pranks and childish banter even though you secretly love it all. You want him to know how much you appreciate him making you feel so valued in front of Han and how glad you are that he referred to himself as your boyfriend. Even with all of these thoughts, you still can’t manage to do anything but pull him closer, pressing a gentle kiss upon his lips hoping it will exude your emotions. 

Jungkook melts into your embrace, still holding your face with his palm as he deepens the kiss. You smile against his lips, feeling suddenly giddy as you bring your legs up around his waist, locking them together behind his back. Jungkook reciprocates the smile, pulling away to adore the joy on your face before kissing you passionately, practically smothering you in his sheets as he savors your affection. 

As the kiss continues to deepen, your body relaxes, letting your legs drop as you release your arms from around his neck. Jungkook takes the opportunity to align his hips with yours, feeling his hardened dick poking at the entrance of your vagina. You gasp slightly from the sudden touch, your mouth opening to allow his tongue another luscious taste. 

You focus all of your attention on the fondness of his embrace, your body igniting an insatiable need for him as he pushes his member forward, pressing on until he bottoms out. Your walls strangle his cock gloriously as he groans against your lips, feeling himself struggle to set a slow, delicious pace. 

Jungkook moves his hips slowly as he strokes himself in and out of you, finally breaking free from your kiss as he hangs his head, pressing his forehead to yours. “You’re so perfect for me.” His words drip with need as he continues thrusting himself into you, loving the way your body bounces with each thrust of his hips. 

You sigh happily as Jungkook moves his head to the crook of your neck, latching his lips onto your flesh to suckle the skin gently. You moan from the warmth, chills racking through your body as your toes curl, enjoying every push against your cervix as you feel your body elevate. “Jungkook.” You moan his name shamelessly, loving the way his eyes darken from the sound. “You feel so good.” You add, watching as your encouragement causes him to quicken the pace of his hips. 

The warmth of his sheets suddenly disappears as Jungkook collects you in his arms, rotating your bodies until you’re now sitting a top of him. You whimper as you sink further on his dick, barely being able to move as you feel wonderfully full. “Shit…”

Jungkook smirks up at you as he lays beneath you, moving his hands to grip your hips as he tucks his piercing into his teeth, gently gnawing on his bottom lip. “You gotta move, Y/n,” He teases as you press your hands onto his chest to help steady yourself as that familiar high begins creeping back. You bravely attempt to lift your hips up a little, feeling the pressure release slightly before dropping yourself back down, his cock hitting you at depths you have never felt before. 

The sensation causes you to fall forward against his chest, knowing your orgasm will rip into you almost instantly if you attempt that again. “Hang on, princess.” Jungkook grins as he uses his strength to lift your hips off of his dick just a couple of inches as he begins thrusting his hips up into you, pounding his thick member deep as you cry out. 

“Jungkook!” It doesn’t take long for your vision to shift white in rapture as you feel the same euphoric high that Jungkook has brought you before. Your hands grab his muscular frame as you try to steady yourself from your pleasure, Jungkook refusing to stop pounding into you as you continue to ride on the shocks of each thrust. “Shit…JK…I can’t…” You helplessly babble as you feel a rope of hot cum shoot into you when Jungkook finally meets his end, fucking his cum deep into your pussy. A final rough thrust into your vagina causes you to feel an embarrassing amount of liquid gush from between your legs as your body goes completely limp.

“Thatta girl.” Jungkook beams, a mischievous smirk plastered over his features as he rolls back over, letting your body press into the sheets beneath him. He leans forward to capture you in another sweet kiss, both of you panting to catch your breath throughout it all as he rolls off of you, collapsing into the bed beside you. 

Jungkook goes to pull you into his side, eager to hold you, only for you to push his hand away. “Thanks for the sex…I’m gonna head out now.” You struggle to keep it together as you attempt to sit up, feeling utterly exhausted. Jungkook pauses, leaning up on his arm as he watches you get out of bed and begin picking up your belongings. 

“What?” His features are scrunched together in confusion as he reaches out and grabs your arm. “Are you seriously dippin’ right now?” You struggle to keep a straight face as you turn back to face him, breaking your facade and laughing as you drop your clothes back onto the ground. 

“Nah, I’m just kidding.” You tease, satisfied that you managed to make him squirm once again. 

Jungkook narrows his eyes as he pulls your arm toward him, causing you to fall back into his bed as he brings you up against his chest to hold you in his arms. “Don’t be a brat.” He complains, knowing this prank war between you has only just begun.

You giggle as you nestle your head against his chest, enjoying the soothing warmth of his body as you melt into his hold. “I’m sorry, I had to get you back.” 

“Mhmm.” Jungkook rolls his eyes, too blissed out to argue back with you. 

You trace your fingertips along the designs of his tattoo as he holds you tightly, cuddling you close as he closes his eyes to try and rest. “You know you love me.” You offer as you tilt your head up to look at him, watching as he opens his eyes to peek at you. 

Jungkook notices your messy hair and flushed complexion, admiring your post-sex glow as his heart flutters at the thought of loving you. It’s been a few months since you moved into the complex and since you somehow managed to encapture him fully in everything about you. “Yeah.” His eyes soften as he watches you, bringing his hand up to smooth out a strand of your hair. “I think I do.”

(About a year later)

The gentle thrum of the shower echoes throughout Jungkook’s bedroom, causing you to stir from your restful slumber. The cool material of Jungkook’s bedsheets entrap you as you try to get up, refusing to break away from the comfortable fabric as you roll over to find the bed empty beside you. You gently open your eyes, prying them apart to see the soft amber glow of morning creeping in through the windowsill. 

You can hear Jungkook humming away in the bathroom as the din of the shower disappears, allowing the room to be engulfed in a peaceful silence. A groan escapes your lips as you pull your limbs away from your center, relishing in the stretch of your muscles as you move to cover your face with the comforter to escape back into your sleep. 

You teeter in and out of a dream as Jungkook is getting ready for work. Moments pass until the click of the bathroom door pulls you back, causing you to stir once again as you hear footsteps walking about his bedroom. You hesitantly pull the sheets down from your face, squinting as your vision adjusts to the lighting as Jungkook grins in your direction. “Good morning, sleeping beauty.” He teases as he rubs a small towel through his hair, attempting to soak up as much moisture as possible.

Your eyes finally adjust to the sight of your boyfriend in his paramedic uniform as he walks around his bedroom, maneuvering through the stacked boxes occupying the space. You smile as you roll to your side, propping your head up with your hand as you admire the sight of all of your belongings inside of his apartment. “Good morning.” You mutter sleepily as Jungkook walks over to you, leaning over as he presses a kiss to your lips.

His lips mold over your own, allowing you to savor his taste as you playfully grab ahold of the collar of his uniform, tugging the fabric toward you as he tumbles closer to the bed. He goes to stop himself from falling over you, groaning from your sudden aggression to kiss him senseless. 

“I have to get going soon.” He complains, knowing that if time permitted, he wouldn’t hold back from indulging in a little bit of your body before work. Unfortunately for him, he still needed to grab breakfast before heading out. Jungkook smiles against your lips as he grabs hold of your shoulders, pushing you away from him to try and gain back his sanity. “Join me for breakfast?” He inquires as he breaks away from your lips, leaving you chasing after him for more. You groan at the idea of getting up so early, but you realize that it might just be the perfect opportunity to get a head start on unpacking all of your belongings. 

You finally nod, your heart leaping at the sight of the bright smile that invades his lips from your answer. “I’ll go pour you some cereal.”

“Thank you.” You call out after him, watching as he disappears out of the bedroom to prepare your food. You glance around once more, settling into the idea that this is now your new home. You can’t help but feel happy that your lease finally ended and that Jungkook invited you to move in with him. With the amount of nights that you’d spend over there, there really wasn’t any logic to owning an apartment directly next door. 

It’s been exactly a year since you moved in, suddenly feeling immensely thankful that your obnoxiously annoying neighbor ended up becoming the man that you love and, more importantly, love to annoy. You peel back the covers as you pluck yourself from bed, shuffling your feet across the floor as you venture toward a large stack of boxes. You rub away the sleep from your eyes, trying to locate the box of clothing that has all of your workout attire. 

You thankfully find it amongst the clutter, needing to move a few boxes off the top in order to be able to access it. With a quick pull of the top flaps, you start moving around the clothing within until you find a cropped black tank top and a pair of bike shorts for you to wear. You smile as you toss the articles over your arm, freeing your hands to reseal the box. 

You move over to the bathroom, happy to find some of your skincare and hygienic products already displayed in a small corner of the vanity from your previous nights spent at his apartment. You notice a few more small boxes tucked at the far corner of the bathroom, knowing you would need to find a spot for all of your belongings to be stored away. 

You proceed through your morning routine quickly, knowing that there won't be much time left before Jungkook has to leave. You waste no time getting dressed in your outfit of choice as you finally emerge to join Jungkook in the kitchen. 

You spot a bowl of cereal waiting for you on the table beside Jungkook's, hearing your stomach gurgle as your hunger suddenly presents itself. You place a hand over your stomach, licking your lips as you notice a cup of coffee already brewed and waiting for you beside your breakfast. As you walk to take a seat beside Jungkook, he turns around to face you, devouring the sight of your body in such skin-tight clothing. 

As you go to sit down, you suddenly feel a sharp sting on your backside as a small yelp escapes your lips. You glance over to find Jungkook with a smug grin, realizing that he just couldn’t help but smack your ass in such a sexy outfit. “Seriously?” You raise your brow as you grip the back of the chair, pulling it out only to see Jungkook shrug his shoulders. 

“You can’t expect me not to when you’re looking like that.” He states simply, selling the idea that you brought this upon yourself. You roll your eyes playfully as you sit down, watching him shovel a spoonful of cereal into his mouth, the crunching sound causing your mouth to salivate as you go to grab your spoon. 

You lift the utensil with anticipation of your first bite, digging into the bowl only to hear a loud clunk that causes you to falter. Your eyes narrow as you look at your meal with curiosity, tapping your spoon into the bowl as you quickly notice the milk inside is completely frozen, solid between the few pieces of scattered cereal atop. “Seriously?”

Jungkook snorts beside you as he laughs midway through chewing his own bite of cereal, clearly amused by his little prank. You smack your lips as you turn to face him with annoyance, more so upset that he thinks this would make you upset. “Ha, ha. Very funny.” You sarcastically respond as you narrow your eyes at him, watching his childlike smile stretch across his face. “You know I can just pour myself another bowl?” You offer up, trying to dismantle the pride he feels from his attempted prank that you refuse to react much to. 

“You do that.” He hums under his breath as he reaches for his coffee, lifting his mug to his lips as he sucks down some of the hot bitter liquid. You roll your eyes as you stand up and grab your bowl, walking over to the kitchen as you set it beside the kitchen sink to defrost. You move about the space as you pull open one of the cupboards, retrieving an empty bowl as you seek out the box of cereal from the pantry. 

As you grab the cardboard box, you glance back over your shoulder before staring at Jungkook as you slowly peel open the box. “Do you think you could help me bring a few things to the storage unit after work?” You question, trying not to pay any mind to his attempts of starting up your prank war once again. 

Since you’ve slowly started moving your things over to Jungkook’s, you had to get yourself a storage unit to hold all of the furniture pieces you would have doubled of. Thankfully, it wouldn’t be too challenging to sell things, however for now, it was easiest to store it away out of sight for the time being. 

“Yeah, I could do that,” Jungkook responds as he finishes off the final mouthfuls of cereal, scrolling on his phone to quickly check his work email before heading in for the day. 

You smile at his response, glad to have the help as you pour the dry cereal into your bowl, feeling hungrier than ever now that you’ve had to wait for your sugary breakfast treat. You seal the box up as you place it back into the pantry cupboard, shifting to the refrigerator as you reach for the pint of milk. 

As you twist off the cap and pour the container sideways, you notice that nothing is coming out despite the pint being almost full to the top. You rotate the bottle, attempting to see if anything will come out. You set the pint down, hearing a thud as it hits the counter top and you realize that the entire pint of milk is also frozen solid. “What the fuck, JK?!” You groan, hearing him practically choke on his sip of coffee as laughter erupts from his chest. 

“I’m just returning the favor, princess.” He beams as he sets his mug down to stand and collect his belongings to start heading out. 

The realization that you won’t be able to have cereal this morning dawns on you as a pout tugs against your lips. “What am I supposed to eat now?”

Jungkook simply shrugs, offering you a false sympathetic frown. “Sounds like your problem, I gotta go.” 

You narrow your eyes at him as you charge toward him, watching him chuckle as he tries to maneuver his way around you to get to the front door. Thankfully, you’re fast enough as you block the entryway, spreading your arms out to press against either side of the wall to keep him from leaving. “Y/n, I gotta go, move.” He pleads despite finding your stubbornness wildly amusing. 

“Nah, I don’t think I will.” You grin mischievously as you continue to block his path with your body. “That way I’ll have you all to myself today.” 

It’s Jungkook’s turn to roll his eyes as he takes a step closer to you, towering over you as you hold your position strong. “As tempting as that sounds, I don’t want to get fired.” He offers you a gentle smile as he leans in to place a kiss on your lips, instantly distracting you from your resolve. He snakes his arms around your waist as he pulls you in closer, deepening your kiss as he fights the urge to take things further.

His affection causes you to crumble, weakening your stance as you suddenly feel yourself lift into the air and twist about until you're suddenly watching Jungkook stand between yourself and the door. You drop your mouth open as you put together the pieces of his deception. His kiss was nothing more than a ploy to get you to move. “Hey, no fair.” You pull your lips back into a pour as you watch Jungkook look you over as he pulls on his chunky boots. 

“I’ll make up for it later.” He offers, his eyes darkening as he takes one last opportunity to admire you in your outfit. You soften your stance as you smile up at him, stepping forward to place one more kiss upon his lips. 

“I love you.” You whisper, finally settling into the reality that this is your new normal. Seeing him off to work and being home when he gets back, you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Jungkook melts into your kiss, pressing his forehead against yours as if silently communicating the same sentiment. You close your eyes, enjoying your close proximity before you feel him pull away. “Of course you do.” He teases as the mood returns to a lighthearted playfulness. “Who wouldn’t?” He adds, a cocky grin stretching over his lips as he opens the door to leave. “See you tonight, princess. You better be ready for me.” He shoots you a final stare before closing the door, leaving your insides fluttering from the thought of him returning and holding you in his arms, having his way with you for the rest of the evening. 

Once you hear that door mechanism click shut, you turn back to face the landscape of his apartment, noticing more boxes stacked in the living room. You can’t fight off the giddy smile that invades your features as you admire the beginning of this next wildly exciting chapter of your relationship that all began because you clashed with your devilishly handsome next-door neighbor. 

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[say-al0e]

Second Chance

Rating: PG

Summary: Bradley was always the one who got away. Things hadn't worked years ago but sometimes in life, you're lucky enough to get a second chance. Warnings: None, just some fluff Pairing: Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw x fem!Reader Word Count: 2k  Top Gun Taglist | Top Gun Masterlist

Though nearly six years had passed since your last first date with Bradley, it felt as if no time at all had elapsed as you sat across from him. Memories of what had been filled your chest with a simmering warmth as you watched him animatedly recount yet another tale from his time at Top Gun.

That last first date, one that also spanned the course of an entire evening, launched a two-year relationship that made itself permanently at home in your heart. It found your first love, the first true romance you’d had the fortune of experiencing, and you felt a sort of deja vu as he easily rolled his eyes at another of Hangman’s antics.

This Bradley - years older, years wiser - was simultaneously comfortably familiar and so incredibly different. He still carried himself with an ease you found reassuring, armed with a mischievous smile and infectious laughter, but there were more layers now. Behind those warm brown eyes lingered a deeper understanding of the world, an understanding of life that hadn’t been present in your twenties, and you did nothing to hide the soft smile that lifted the corners of your mouth as he leaned back in his chair and shook his head.

“So, did Phoenix ever realize it was actually Bob hiding her shoes or does she still think it was Hangman?”

Empty coffee cups lingered on the table, long since cleared of your dinner plates, as the restaurant slowly closed around you. Hours had passed, spent lost in conversation - catching up on missed time, listening to the low rumble of his voice as he shared adventures - and you knew that you’d have to leave soon.

The bubble would burst eventually, pulling you both back to reality where you would have to decide whether to continue chasing the past. Still, rather than relaying that thought to Bradley, you leaned forward with a grin as you waited for his answer.

“I think she realized a few weeks ago,” he admitted, laughing as he idly wrapped a hand around an empty cup. “Wouldn’t surprise me if she’s waiting to get him back, though. Phoenix doesn’t get involved in the pranks very often but when she does, they’re brutal.”

Bradley spoke fondly of his new squadron, thrilled for the camaraderie despite his earlier struggles, and even recounted tales of having rekindled a relationship with Maverick. He looked at ease, far happier with his place in life than he had been years prior, and you were glad to see the contentment as you shook your head.

“You know,” you began, grinning as you thought about the last set of Top Gun pranks he’d been involved in, “it’s kind of comforting to know that no matter how much things change, some things stay the same.”

Both of you had grown since you last saw one another. Gone were your twenties, replaced by true adulthood - settled careers, lifelong relationships, responsibilities that sometimes seemed overwhelming - and it was evident in the conversation you’d had.

There was no longer talk of parties and bars, instead you’d spoken about family - his godfather, his squad, your parents - and friends that had long since gotten married and started families of their own. There was talk of work, of the inability to recover the way you used to and make time for things like a few drinks on a weeknight. There’d been a whole tangent about diets and playful complaints about the fact that spicy food tasted better than ever but grew harder to stomach the older you got.

But knowing that there were still those moments of levity, that the Bradley you’d met at the Hard Deck and fell in love with over too many drinks still existed, calmed any remaining nerves lingering in the pit of your stomach. It seemed that as different as things were, there was still a glimpse of the Bradley you fell in love with all those years ago and it made you hopeful that things might be different this time.

Bradley opened his mouth to respond, witty retort on the tip of his tongue, but before he could speak, a soft voice popped the bubble you’d spent most of the night in.

“Sorry,” she began, politely apologetic. “Just wanted to check in. We’re closing the kitchen, so, if there’s anything else you’d like, now is the time. And, if not, I’ve got the check.”

A quick glance at your phone had the pair of you blinking, both surprised at the time. When you spared a glance around the now empty restaurant, you grimaced apologetically. “Sorry,” Bradley laughed, “didn’t realize how late it was. We’re good.”

“Yeah, we’ll get out of here so you guys can close. Sorry,” you repeated, following suit as Bradley stood from his seat and took the bill.

In a matter of moments, you were standing outside the restaurant, glancing back as the staff turned the sign and began closing up.

It was the briefest of gestures, a flash of movement, but it reminded you so distinctly of the past. There were nights where you’d close down restaurants, sit on barstools until well beyond last call, just to spend a few extra hours together before Bradley had to leave. You saw a flash of yourself, a bit younger and so wholly in love, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you began wandering down the sidewalk.

“I guess some things don’t change.” Bradley grinned, eyes bright and glittering in the city lights as he drifted closer to you. His hand bumped yours, body bleeding warmth as he tipped his head to glance at you.

“Can’t believe we spent all night sitting there. Felt like no time at all.” The observation was quiet, whispered into the wind as you wandered slowly down the sidewalk, and Bradley hummed in agreement.

“It was always like that with us,” he reminded you - as if you’d somehow forgotten just how easy things were for most of your relationship. “Even at the end, we could talk forever and not get tired of one another.”

Bradley was right. Though your relationship ended, it wasn’t because of incompatibility or a lack of love. The pair of you had always gotten along well, easy and light even toward the end, and you were reminded of just how well you and Bradley worked at every turn.

“I think the lack of a mustache helped back then.” Bradley rolled his eyes fondly, laughing as his hand brushed yours once more, while you ducked your head. “You’ve always been easy to talk to. You’re kinda captivating, Roo.”

It was easy to remember just how quickly Bradley had captured your attention and just how wholly he’d managed to do so. His voice, warm and honeyed; his way with words, always so thoughtful and intriguing; his general demeanor, easy and steadfast - everything about him made you want to lose yourself in him and you continued to be reminded of why you’d loved him so fiercely for so long.

“You’re one to talk, honey.”

There was little you could say in response, little your brain seemed to process beyond the question of why you’d allowed yourself to separate from Bradley for so long, so you opted for the next best thing. After a moment’s hesitation, you turned your hand and took his in your own, lacing your fingers together in a way that seemed achingly familiar.

From the corner of your eye, you saw his smile grow wider - bright, happy, even in the dim glow of streetlights - and smiled as you drew closer to the Bronco. The night was coming to an end, but as sad as that made you, you could see more nights like it in your future as you witnessed the brilliance of that smile.

Conversation tapered off into a comfortable silence, then. It was as it had always been, neither of you compelled to speak just for the sake of conversation, and it was yet another reminder of what you’d missed. With Bradley, there was always a level of ease no one else had ever been able to achieve and it was comforting to revel in the quiet, even as you climbed into the car and an old rock song began to play.

As Bradley tapped his fingers along to the song on the radio, you took the opportunity to study him. He sat, bathed in the warm glow of streetlights, side profile exactly as you remembered. There were a few minute changes - the mustache, most notably; he’d learned to style his hair, and he’d lost some of the chub of his cheeks - but you were reminded of why you’d always fawned over him.

There was something magnetic about him, something bright and beautiful that drew you in and kept you tethered in his orbit. He’d always been beautiful, both physically and mentally, and you were grateful for the chance to reconnect. It’d been too long, too many years apart, and there was little explanation other than fate for your reconciliation.

However, all too soon, you found yourselves parked in the lot of your building and heading up the sidewalk to your door.

“This was nice,” you conceded, breaking the silence that had lingered on as you stopped at the top of the steps. “I missed this.” With only a split second of consideration, brain working on overdrive to rid itself of any doubt, you admitted, “I missed you.”

Bradley, whose smile was as soft as you remembered and whose gentle gaze made your chest ache pleasantly, nodded. “I missed you, too.” The agreement was easy, ready, as he took a tentative step closer. “I’m glad you said yes to tonight. I was kind of afraid you wouldn’t.”

“I never considered saying anything other than yes.” There’d been no real thought, no other answer you could’ve given him. Though your relationship ended way back when, it was of no fault of his. The pair of you were simply in different places in life, both wanting something you couldn’t give at the time, and he’d always been the one that got away. Getting a second chance was more than you could’ve asked for. “I’m really glad we bumped into each other.”

It was a moment of serendipity, a coincidence you hadn’t imagined would happen, and you knew Bradley was just as happy for the chance as he nodded his agreement.

Another step closer, another soft smile, as Bradley seemed to weigh his words. “I didn’t know if we’d see each other again,” he admitted, voice quiet as he closed the distance between you. “I always wanted to, always thought about reaching out, but I… I’m just glad the decision was made for us.”

That fear you both shared - the fear that there would never be a right time, that a reconciliation would only end in heartache - went unspoken but you knew it was shared. And as Bradley lifted his hand, soft and warm as it pressed to your cheek, you melted into his touch.

“I want to do this right this time,” he declared, voice soft and washing over you as your eyes fluttered. “I don’t want to rush and fuck it all up again.”

“No one fucked it up last time,” you reminded him, tone matching his as you gripped his bicep softly. “It was just the wrong time. Things are different now, though.”

“Second time’s the charm.” His easy agreement was all you needed to close the small space between you once more, returning your lips to his in another soft kiss.

The second chance was what you both needed, another shot at a love you’d missed so dearly, and you were glad to have gotten it. No matter what happened, you were hopeful that this time, the second time would be the charm.

_______________________________________________________

Author's Note: Dunno, man. Just feeling soft. Working on some Hangman smut now, though, cause that damn photoshoot.

Taglist: @lulu-noodles, @holachicos, @getmyprettynameoutofyourmouth, @withakindheartx, @ssprayberrythings, @verin93, @totalwitch2, @malindacath, @alexparkxr, @hangmandruigandmav, @alexxavicry, @calicokel, @jaymum, @dracosluvbot, @little-wiseone, @specialk6802, @mandylove1000, @julesclues, @archetypesoflife, @oliviah-25, @benhardysdrumstick, @caatheeriinee07, @yvespoems, @chloereidwayne, @flower-name​, @callsignharper​, @peoniarose​, @hangmanscoming​, @rh3tt​, @dakotakazansky​, @silversprings-mp3​

[what-even-is-thiss]

could you share your thoughts on Christianity and the lgbt community? Not in a like "'oh yeah well how are you this and that if you're REALLY Christian"' kind of way, I'm asking from the perspective of someone who's been struggling with their spirituality because I don't know how I can believe and god and also be gay. Feel free not to answer this though, you shouldn't have to explain yourself to random people every time you mention your religion

There’s not a lot of mentions of what we would consider to be homosexuality in the Bible. Paul mentions it most explicitly but there’s some important things to remember about Paul. First, he’s just some guy. He did important work spreading the religion but that doesn’t mean that he’s right about everything. Second, his only exposure to homosexuality likely came from the Roman elite. And the way they did it usually involved raping slave boys and hiring young prostitutes. They didn’t usually have same sex relations in the way we think of them now. Men didn’t generally have romantic relationships with each other into adulthood and a full adult citizen being passive during sex was considered to be scandalous. Any actual romantic relationships between adults of the same sex were likely kept secret or at least weren’t talked about loudly. So Paul is living in this environment. And people aren’t completely separate from the environments they live in.

For the most part stuff in the Bible that’s translated as condemning homosexuality is referring to certain cultural practices common in the Mediterranean at the time that we also wouldn’t like today. Such as pederasty, also known as a romanticized form of pedophilia that even people at the time in cultures that practiced it heavily criticized. Consenting adults often did have romantic or sexual relations together but they weren’t commonly open about it.

Overall, the Bible just doesn’t have much to say about liking someone of the same gender if you look at instances outside of things alluding to some of the worse stuff the Greeks and Romans did. So if the Bible doesn’t say much about it, that leaves it up to us to logically deduce our personal feelings about it.

Okay. So what are the two main commandments Jesus gives us? Love your neighbor as yourself, and love god with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Basically: love God, love others, love yourself. These are said to be the rules that all other commandments stem from and supersede all other commandments in terms of importance.

So. Does being queer stop you from loving God? Loving others? Loving yourself?

Science is real. It helps us learn more and more about the universe God created all the time and science has proven time and time again that being queer isn’t a choice and that people are happier when they live more authentically.

God made you the way you are. You cannot control whether you’re queer or not. So it’s not a mistake in you that can be “fixed”. If humans were made in the image of God, you too are an image of God. So some tiny part of God, however small, looks like you. All of you. Including the queer parts.

So then. Are you loving God? Including the parts of God that are like you? Are you loving your fellow humans? Including your fellow lgbt humans? Are you doing your best to love yourself? Every part of yourself?

I don’t take the Bible fully literally. You can’t. It contradicts itself constantly. But even if you did, the world it was written for and the society that made the oral traditions it was based on no longer exist. At least not in the exact same way they once did. What the Bible does have in it is stories that can give us examples and have informed the formation of our culture as Christians. Christianity has changed a lot over the last 2,000 years. Many forms of it have come and gone. Ultimately it’s up to us as modern Christians what kind of world we want to be apart of and contribute to and what culture we want to make among ourselves. I can’t pretend to know the true nature of God but I do know that God inspires me to reduce suffering and speak up for injustice where I can.

Ultimately your interpretation is up to you. But I personally don’t see needless self flagellation over something you can’t control as an act of justice or love. Just a form of self torture that’s ultimately not adding much to the world. Adding some of your own happiness to the world in my opinion isn’t a problem.

If you want to know how being queer has affected my faith, I’ve never doubted for a second that being lgbt+ is fine. To be honest I’ve been more afraid of secular society not accepting me than God. God and I have wrestled before, but almost never over that. I am how I am and if God didn’t want me to be this way he probably wouldn’t have flipped the gay switch in my brain.

[mauesartetc]

Is it me, or is Vivziepop bad at writing romantic relationships? It feels like she wants to write "problematic", drama-filled romance where the characters start out toxic, there are misunderstandings, betrayals etc cuz the show is supposed to be about "problematic gays", and that's perfectly valid, but she can't write chemistry. So far, it feels like Blitzo clings to Stolas because he's afraid he will end up alone and unloved, but doesn't actually care for him as a person. He often looks uncomfortable with Stolas' flirting even if he reciprocates sometimes.

I've seen couples in children's media with much better written-relationships and chemistry, like Roxanne and Megamind. It's clear they enjoy each other's company, they have mutual banter and flirting and he respects her intelligence.

I know Stolitz is supposed to be "toxic" pre-character development but at this point it still sucks that so far, it's impossible to tell what the characters like about each other other than the sex.

(I've been told that Stolas enjoys how Blitzo made him laugh when they met during the circus but that's not been developed enough as a concept to count).

Yeah here's a thought: When has he made Stolas laugh during adulthood?! Where was that moment? What do they even have in common other than liking dudes?

Oh shit. I think I get why fans of this show accuse critics of being homophobic. It's because this relationship has literally no substance other than "they're gay". (Or Stolas might be, anyway. Their specific orientations are never clarified in the show that I can recall.) Oh, you don't like this mlm relationship? You must hate ALL mlm relationships. Funny how the fans are the ones fixated on that aspect while no one I've seen criticize the show has ever cited the homoerotica as evidence that this relationship sucks. No, it sucks because there's absolutely no depth to it. There's nothing to make us root for it to work.

Sure, the characters have their own personalities as individuals, and there's potential for chemistry in how those personalities and backgrounds oppose each other, but the show never explores it. What would happen if Stolas tried to fit into Blitzo's poverty-stricken school of hard knocks, or if Blitzo tried to fit in with high society? What if they just had a conversation about what life has been like for each of them? Where are the bonding moments that show us this is more than just a transactional arrangement (or at least that it could be)? What made Stolas suddenly fall in love with Blitzo offscreen between Episodes 6 and 7, after treating him like an object the entire season? Why the fuck does he care if Blitzo comes to see him in the hospital or not? Why should we care as viewers?

Funny enough, this neat video by LocalScriptMan just came out (check out this channel, seriously), and it talks about going deeper into writing relationships than just smashing two characters with differing personalities together. Again, differing personalities can create potential for chemistry (as each character learns new perspectives from the other), but a pairing of opposites isn't chemistry in and of itself.

If Helluva Boss's writers gave us a good mlm relationship with actual substance, more power to 'em! Maybe we'll get one with Asmodeus and Fizzarolli, but... ehh. It's doubtful at this point.

[hollowed-theory-hall]

Hi! Me again!

Lately I've reading a lot of Harry/Severus fanfics and I think it's a interesting ship. Do you have any thoughts about Severus as character? And what do you think about the ship Harry/Severus? Do you think it could work? 🤔

I look forward to reading your thoughts on this.

Spirea ✨

Hi again 👋

Took me a while to get to this ask, and like with all things shipping, ship whatever you want, have fun, it's fictional, and these are just my thoughts.

So, I obviously do have thoughts about Severus as a character. It's hard not to when he's as relevant as he is to the plot. I mentioned my general thoughts about him here. The summary of these thoughts is that I find him interesting for a multitude of reasons, and I like that he's usually competent, if emotionally unstable.

Now, about Snarry, personally, I'm not a Snarry shipper. A few years ago, I tried to read some Snarry fic, out of curiosity. Like, when I see a ship idea that either intrigues me or makes me go "wtf?!" in a good way, I often check out a fic or two, just to see what's it about, see if I'm interested. In the case of Snarry, I wasn't.

Like, I read a lot of Severitus (Severus as a mentor/father figure to Harry) around that same time, and I preferred that dynamic over the romance.

Now, ignoring my own preference, would this work?

Eh... depends on how you define work.

Like, this relationship would be a mess for so many reasons (which I guess is part of the appeal). Like, even ignoring the age difference and student-teacher taboos or if we're talking post-war Severus-lives AUs, this is going to be messy.

Like, a lot of fans talk about Sirius projecting James onto Harry, but I don't think he does, if anyone is projecting James onto Harry, it's Severus. He does treat Harry more like an equal threat than a student (which lends itself to Snarry if you wanna go there), but it also means Severus spends the books having no idea who Harry is until pretty late in the story when he starts glimpsing that maybe he isn't James, but then chooses to ignore all these glimpses. He is actually, legitimately terrified of Harry.

Like, Severus doesn't allow himself to see Harry as a separate person from James, who he despises. So, you gotta work through that to make the ship work.

Harry is a very empathetic and forgiving person, so I'm not putting forgiving Snape and moving on with his life past him, since it's kind of what he did anyway.

The reason I liked Severitus is because Snape and Harry have things in common working for their dynamic. They both had abusive home lives as children. They both share the responsibility for something so much greater. Severus in the books isn't just living for himself, he's carrying this fucking war on his shoulders, and by book 7, Harry is too. They are two characters that due to their respective traumas and life circumstances never really got to have a childhood (and in Snape's case an adulthood, since he didn't really choose to be a teacher) So they have the potential to understand each other so well under different circumstances.

I also think Severus would appreciate Harry's sass the moment he stopped seeing him as James and stopped perceiving the disrespect as a threat. And in Severitus, I like that Sev is a connection to Lily Harry usually doesn't get (since Sirius and Remus only really talk about James) but in Snarry, it's kinda icky for me.

Like, I don't like that Severus would be projecting either James or Lily on Harry in an equal relationship because he kinda would. He already does, and it's going to be a mess.

I'm also not sure how well their temperaments would really work together. Like, they're both not great with emotional regulation and are inclined towards anger and petty retribution/vengeance. It means that whenever they disagree with each other on the smallest thing ever, it'll be super easy for it to blow out of proportion and become big because they have a point. Like, Harry would say something cheeky that'll anger Snape more, and it doesn't matter if they are at school or post Hogwarts, their relationship doesn't matter, Snape's gonna say "twenty points from Gryffindor," on instinct (could be really funny in a post-war story, not so funny if Harry's a student). Like, their relationship would just be very volatile, which is not something I'm personally into, but that you're allowed to like in fic.

Basically, they will need to put a lot of work in to make their relationship work and for them to stay together as a romantic pair. Severitus is different since there is a clear power structure, Severus doesn't feel threatened by Harry and Harry knows Severus isn't his peer in that dynamic. Romance is different, since to make a romance work, they need to see each other as equals, which for Snape, means seeing Harry as a potential threat to himself and his image, and for Harry, it means treating Snape as someone he can sass and disrespect (which would make Snape's fears worse, and kinda what we see in the books).

And that's before talking about Snape's guilt about this relationship. Like, he already hates himself and would take any excuse to hate himself further while pretending it's all fine, he'll insist that everything is good through gritted teeth and the veneer of pride. Especially if Harry's still a student, Snape knows it's wrong, and he shouldn't, but he still would and crucify himself inside his own mind. He'd imagine Lily screaming at him over it, or something. So that, like, adds to the mess. Even post-war I think Severus would think he shouldn't for so many reasons. He'd find more and more reasons why not. So, like, Harry would need to be the one to pursue the relationship, and I don't really see him doing it without substantial divergence/AU sprinkled in.

Like, I don't think they would realistically get together, but fic is fic, and therefore anything could happen. These are just my thoughts.

[justheretoposttrash]

day 5 of meandering about endeavor (and briefly hawks)--(taking a more meta-look at the fandom with this one):

i find it fascinating and honestly sorta cool that the fandom is so divided on endeavor in a way that lines up well with how people are divided on his character within the text itself.

the responses are certainly not black-and-white or binary, but it's easiest for me to give the examples of hawks and natsuo as sorta opposite ends of the spectrum. many endeavor fans are similar to hawks--enjoying his cooler moments while also greatly appreciating how much he puts himself through in his efforts to change for the better (as an aside, i do find it hilarious how many endeavor fans enjoy seeing that man beat the shit out of and actively suffering. kinky lol). endeavor haters, on the other hand, generally want nothing to do with his character (while some even say that they want him to die, when it comes to fictional people in a story, that's basically the equivalent of "keep this guy far away from me"). the need for unequivocal and complete separation from his character is similar to what natsuo wants and sticks with in the story (although he does have his moments of sensitivity regarding his father, in spite of this).

i think that the reasoning behind irl fans and the characters also often align. for hawks, it's incredibly inspiring and gratifying to see that someone is willing to put in the work to change, even if doing so will be difficult and often unrewarding. the worse the actions are, the more painful the upward climb becomes, but also the more crazy it is that the person in question is willing to make that climb in the first place. i've noticed a lot of endhawks fans in particular really finding a lot of personal healing through exploring these ideas, whether they want to change for the better themselves, or they wish those in their life who'd hurt them would be willing to grow as people the way endeavor's character does. sure, there are some people who gloss over the terrible things that he's done, but many seem to enjoy actively engaging with what he's done and working through what it means for them.

for natsuo, it's not just about it being "too little, too late", though that's definitely a big part--but also that he as a person cannot have a relationship with his father while keeping himself safe and healthy. a lot of real-life relationships end up this way, especially between parent and child once the child reaches adulthood, and it's a very healthy boundary to set. for irl people engaging with fiction that triggers similar emotions, this looks more like ignoring, not engaging with, or wishing for the removal of the character activating them---and if that "boundary"-esque wall can't be drawn, if they repeatedly are unable to avoid the character's presence, this often wells up as anger and turns into venting, which is only natural if you're being bombarded with a stimulus that you feel unable to control. (sure, blocking and filtering tags is available, but algorithms can be incredibly confounding/unavoidable, not everyone remembers to tag their stuff perfectly every time, and in this case, the maligned character plays an incredibly crucial and central role in the canon material itself--so if you want to consume, y'know, mha, you have to grapple with a text that at best isn't always for you, or at worst occasionally betrays you.)

i don't mean to overstate my case--a lotta ppl like stuff or hate stuff without questioning it--but i think in the case of this one particular character, a lot of nuance tends to emerge, and there's a lot of potential there for analysis/learning. I also think that some conflict and friction becomes inevitable between disagreeing fans regarding endeavor's character. naturally, your average person getting crushed in the gears of day-to-day life is going to feel hurt when they're accused of not engaging with the thing that brings them much-needed comfort in the "correct" way, especially if they have indeed been putting a lot of work into thoughtfully engaging with it behind-the-scenes. it's also difficult to give people you disagree with the benefit of the doubt, bc honestly there are plenty of wild takes or arguments made in bad faith out there--and very few ppl want to wade through a bunch of cortisol-spiking statements just to find one that is reasonable enough but that still might be disagreeable to them.

it's likewise interesting to see the reactions of people either calling hawks a murderer and hating on his character, or claiming he did nothing wrong and that twice shouldn't have fought/deserved to die (and while i can understand wanting to defend silly bbygirl birdman, man oh man would hawks not be happy with the latter take if he were a Real Boy). i don't believe either group comprises the majority of mha fans by a longshot, but there's still enough that i've noticed these little trends in one pocket of the internet or amother. i got nothin prescriptive here, i just find it all interesting to talk about.

lastly, i wanna say that, while telling stories from the POV of an abuser and trying to give them sympathy at the same time is so often a gross and very Bad Move, crazily enough i think mha is one of the best executions of this that i've seen. aside from the nuanced way endeavor gets treated by other characters (some supportive, some rightfully angry, some rightfully hateful), what stands out to me is that, by having us see through his pov, the story actually shows what anyone could realistically expect as a best-case-scenario of an abuser starting to atone. we don't have to question if he's sorry, don't have to question if he understands what he did as wrong, don't have to question that he's doing actionable things to make progress, etc., because we spend so much time with his thoughts. and it's not perfectly linear and it does come way too late, but it is kind of wild to see this kind of best-case evolution unfold bit by bit. of course, the flipside to this is that real life doesn't work this way and you can never have absolute certainty that an abuser genuinely understands/won't go on to abuse again. still, being able to see a direct model for what accountability and working towards atonement looks like is refreshing, when by comparison so many other character arcs in other stories 1) end in redemption through death, 2) have the character barely do any internal work/stay an absolute asshole, or 3) resolve a past "sin" that actually wasn't that bad to begin with. when all three tropes are avoided, when someone did something unforgivable but is veritably changing for the better but is still alive, what the heck happens next? what the hell do you do? what does anyone do? some options are explored in mha in a pretty neat way--natsuo never wants to see enji, and enji agrees. touya wants to see enji every day (at least implicitly so) and enji makes that his vow. so many flawed parents irl are unable to respect their childrens' wishes when it comes to letting them completely go so they can live their lives, or when it comes to staying ever-present and showing them genuine care, and yet enji becomes a parent capable of doing both opposite-seeming things at once, finally willing to do and become what his children ask of him. the todoroki saga is certainly not perfect---i for one have *thoughts* about how the very end of rei's arc has been handled---but i think it's unique for how it benefits from providing so much of endeavor's pov, whereas other stories from an abuser's pov might have slapped on shitty apologia or only provided an "explanation" for why that character is so nasty without going too much further than that. while this choice may force some fans to have a level of closeness with a character whose presence begets feelings of hurt and hopelessness, it also makes sense why this choice has captivated other fans and provided, oddly enough, a sense of inspiration and hope.

[clonerightsagenda]

Ok! Reread complete. It is now time for me to ponder exactly how amatonormative the ending really is.

It's definitely framed that way. Mary describes quitting nunhood because she wanted to pursue romantic relationships, her story inspires Lyra and Will to pursue a romantic relationship, and that's what stops the flow of Dust.

However, it is more complicated than that. Mary did not have to quit the entire Christian religion to date someone (she could just stop being a nun), but she did, because she wasn't happy and wanted to do "something with all my nature instead of just a part of it". She's not even in a romantic relationship right now and seems perfectly fine with that! While there's an aside about the mulefa having monogamous relationships, their transition into adulthood is getting big enough to wear the wheels. It's about growing up and joining the world as a fully realized adult who can make their own decisions rather than remaining constrained due to immaturity or institutional pressures. The book focuses on sexuality because, well, religious authority has often obsessed over controlling and regulating that, and so embracing it is an act of resistance. (That has not really changed all that much.) Plus, there's a continual emphasis that it won't work if Lyra knows her destiny. You have to follow your own nature! For most of the books Lyra and Will are getting buffeted around by events, and Lyra even thinks rescuing the dead is part of the prophecy, so their actions are arguably constrained, whereas this bit is (to their knowledge) free will and not preordained. So yes preteen love saves the world I guess, and it makes sense that Pullman chose that angle, but theoretically it could have been something else, as long as it involves maturing and chasing your bliss. AU where someone transes their gender or quits their job so hard it saves the world. I mean Mary sort of did the latter.

Also, I'm wondering if this is one of those situations where the prophecy creates itself. People have preteen crushes all the time. None of the others save the world. But Dust responds to attention and intention, and since Lyra was the ~child of prophecy~ a whole bunch of people spent a bunch of time and energy fixated on her, and perhaps the Dust responded to that. If the Magisterium hadn't cared about her, maybe her choices would've done nothing. But they did. You guys played yourselves.

[runawaymun]

Hi, I just have a question about And the Stars Shine the Same, how do you see Elrond's relationship with the children changing as they get older?

Ah! Thank you so much for sending this in and sorry for taking so long to reply! What a fun question 🥰

- Elrían and Elrond remain very close. She winds up taking an interest in medicine and working alongside Elrond and Lia in the healing halls. I think she’s always going to be that little girl in Elrond’s brain, but he does his best not to coddle her and to let her make her own decisions and encourage her to explore etc etc just like any good parent with an adult child does.

- I’m not going to say too much about Thal, since his arc isn’t finished yet, but Thal struggles with forming attachments well into adulthood, because that’s just kind of the nature of how his trauma expresses itself and healing is long and nonlinear. They’re never close? I’ll say that. But I think that’s as much as I can say without spoiling the rest of Boundless Sky 😉

[fallingtowers]

so i've been thinking about season 4 lately, and i've got this theory that adam is actually a good villain.

ok, before i'm flayed alive for my apostasy, lemme qualify that statement. i can't pretend s4 is my favorite season of btvs by any means, but i gotta give credit where it's due -- it's got more going on underneath the hood than you might think.

s4 is all about purpose and direction. it's about the characters changing tracks and trajectories, bumping up against the questions of who they are and who they're gonna be. obviously this is a recurring theme on buffy (it is a coming-of-age story, after all), but it's never more front-and-center than here, where much of the cast is crossing perhaps the clearest line between childhood and adulthood in usamerican society -- fitting, considering the show itself has lost a large part of its established framework and is now trying to establish a new status quo.

let's take a look at what the characters are up to during s4. the kids have graduated; buffy and willow are starting college. willow's relationship with oz ends, and she spends a decent chunk of the season coming to terms with her feelings for tara and her identity as a lesbian. xander's looking for work, with an emphasis on looking -- before he settles on construction, he spends some time drifting from job to job, never quite sure what he wants to do. giles is out of work too and spends much of the season struggling to fill his days. the scoobies as a group are scattered and directionless, unsure of their places in the world.

the list goes on. riley's whole arc is about losing his bedrock purpose and having to find a new one; "no sir, i'm an anarchist" may be a lame-ass line, but it is very thematically significant. spike gets chipped and finds he can't kill people anymore, and so now what is he good for? and then he realizes he can still hurt demons, and his trajectory for the remainder of the show is set. anya, talking about her career as a vengeance demon, gets a very telling line in "restless": "well, you know how i miss it. i'm so at loose ends since I quit." even faith's brief appearance in this season sees her struggling with questions of purpose and (in a particularly on-the-nose example) identity.

of course, since it's btvs we're talking about, all this is reflective of what buffy is going through (remember, this is the season that makes explicit the metaphor of the core scoobies as different parts of buffy's psyche). buffy's in a transitional period; she's going from high school to college, from her mom's house to a dorm room. she's struggling to adjust, and the show takes pains to provide her with things to struggle to adjust to. at the end of the first episode of the season, she says college is "turning out to be a lot like high school," but this statement is immediately undercut by the first appearance of the initiative.

say what you will about the initiative plotline, it makes a lot of thematic sense. there's a lot of very intentional contrast between the slayer and the initiative; where the slayer bloodline is ancient and mystical, its roots lost to history, the initiative is sleek and modern. its rife with purpose -- and, sure, to be fair, that purpose is absolutely clandestine and sinister, but it's unmistakably there. from its first appearance in "the freshman," there's a sense that the initiative is working towards some unknown goal.

sunday's gang and the initiative occupy different roles in the story, of course -- one's a straightforward group of enemies of the kind we (and buffy!) have grown to expect, while the other is a much thornier and less straightforward kind of problem. the way the show trades the former for the latter, not to mention the way the latter takes prisoner a member of the former, is of course very intentional, a way to reinforce the upset of the status quo. still, we can read both groups as representative of the same metaphor: the idea that buffy's been thrust into a world in which she feels she alone doesn't know what she's doing, but everyone else seems to know exactly what they're doing and where they belong. in a word, it's buffy's first true brush with adulthood.

buffy eventually aligns herself with the initiative, but even then, she remains the odd one out. she's a better fighter than any of them, but their methodology and aesthetic make her seem antiquated (see walsh's "we thought you were a myth" line), and she can't figure out their jargon or their militaristic command structure. try as she might to fit in, she just can't seem to be who they want her to be.

compare this with adam.

much hay has already been made about how well or (much more commonly) how poorly adam works as a character, and i won't bother to relitigate all that stuff here. yeah, walsh's exit is abrupt and unsatisfying, and yeah, adam lacks the personal connections to the rest of the cast that made her such an effective villain, and yeah, god help me, he does have a disk drive in his chest. i'm not gonna argue that there aren't big flaws with the execution of the initiative plotline generally and adam specifically, but i will argue that there's some really interesting thematic conversation going on between adam and the season at large.

s4 has this throughline of various characters inhabiting various personas. this is sometimes voluntary and sometimes not; it usually involves the character becoming stronger or more competent or more carefree or otherwise "better." of course, btvs as a whole is very preoccupied with identity, so s4 is not alone in this -- "halloween" and "band candy" spring to mind as examples of the kind of thing i'm talking about here, and of course e.g. riley pretending to be an ordinary person is something we've been watching buffy do for three seasons now -- but i'd argue that it's even more prevalent in s4 than elsewhere in the show. there's cathy pretending to be human in "living conditions"; veruca in "wild at heart" suggesting that the wolf is oz's true self and that "this human face is just your disguise," and oz telling willow that "i don't know where that line is anymore between me and [the wolf]"; buffy's transformation in "beer bad"; giles's transformation in "a new man"; faith and buffy switching bodies in "who are you?"; the entirety of "superstar." towards the end of the season, after adam reanimates forrest as a half-demon, forrest says, "i'm surging with life and strength [...] this is the best thing that ever happened to me."

it isn't, of course. in fact, most if not all of these forays into being someone else end badly. they're explorations of who the characters are and who they might (like to) become, and they all seem to point to the same conclusion: you can pretend to be someone else, but sooner or later you're going to have to be yourself, whoever that might be.

so who's adam?

the show asks this question at least a couple different times, in a couple different ways. this first happens in "goodbye iowa," when adam himself asks, "what am i?" later on, in "restless," buffy comes at the question from a different angle by asking adam's human half his name. the answers the show gives to these questions are telling. in "goodbye iowa," adam is told he's a monster ("i thought so," he replies). in "restless," his human half says, "before adam? not a man among us can remember."

who is adam? well, he's no one. he's a monster, a frankenstein, a thing remade and stripped of all its past identifiers. he wasn't born, but built, and this is crucial. this is the thing that makes him superior as a villain to professor walsh in at least one respect. for all their secrecy and sinister aims, the initiative's soldiers and scientists are human. they, like the demons they capture, are messy, alive, with no inborn reason for being. adam is different. in a season that's all about the search for purpose, he stands out as the only character to have been purpose-built. one of his most important lines imo comes from "superstar," where he says: "i'm aware [...] no one -- no human, no demon -- has ever been as awake and alive as i am. you are all just shadows."

in the end, buffy and her friends defeat adam by means of the enjoining spell, but the spell is just a metaphor for the actual reason they win. this is the moment i was talking about above, the moment where the scoobies-as-parts-of-buffy metaphor is made explicit, and it is itself a metaphor for them accepting and affirming not only their roles in buffy's life, but also their identities at large. see, it's not enough for xander to say he's the heart, or willow the spirit, or giles the mind; they have to believe it. so here we are, at the end of this awkward bumpy transitional season, which our characters have spent figuring out who they aren't anymore and who they might be and who they want to be, and in this moment, they know. and now that they do, they mop the floor with adam, because in the end, he's not much more than a machine. he's never chosen who he should be, it has only ever been decided for him -- but buffy and her friends are human, so they can decide for themselves. at the beginning of the episode, adam says, "once you [...] embrace your destiny as I have, you will know power you've never dreamed of" -- but in a show so centered around free will and choice and the struggle to make meaning in an uncaring and chaotic world, of course there's no real power in a destiny that's been chosen for you. of course choosing for yourself who you're going to be is the most powerful thing you could do.

[holdoncallfailed]

do you ever think about the parallels between damon and graham and paul and john? the childhood best friends and inseparable creative partners, one is the pusher for the dream, and the other one is the arty emotional live wire, the jealousy, competitiveness, emotional breakdown, and dissatisfaction/unhappiness with their dynamic. eventually, one gets a new creative partner, and the wedge becomes a chasm. yet only one of them got the opportunity to fully reconcile while the other was robbed of it.

of course, they're not the same, and the level of success does make for a lot of that separation. but I see how much time and effort it took for damon and graham to rebuild their relationship, knowing it couldn't go to what it once was but still working to repair it. glad they did, especially when you hear paul say that one should never put off telling someone you love them.

yeeeesss this has been a point of great interest for myself and certain other rpf scholars on this site (hi @elena-ferrante). watching paul in get back really reminded me of damon lol...i think it's interesting that part of the tension between d&g and j&p is that the domineering control freak "spokesman" member of the pair comes across as the one calling the shots but is in fact so full of admiration for and places such a high value on the opinion of the other that he becomes sort of deferential to him... i think they all struggle(d) with their identities and public images being intertwined. but i also think that there is/was more love between them than we could possibly understand from the outside. i really sincerely think that john and paul would have reconciled if they'd been given enough time.

speaking more broadly to your point about the wedge & the chasm: i think another thing about why bands are so interesting and why they capture the public imagination is that they frequently present this homosocial fantasy of companionship that is very much rooted in an adolescent configuration of life , i.e. hanging out with your friends all the time, doing whatever you want, responsible for only yourselves, obligated to each other out of a shared passion. and that lifestyle is not compatible with The Institution of Adulthood, i.e. stable career, marriage and family-rearing, which still feels compulsory—if not totally inescapable—for most people in [heterosexual] society. a band can be a world unto itself but it is not the real world. there are soooooooooo many examples of bands falling apart once a member gets married and/or commits to a new creative partner because that development inevitably ruins the fantasy on which the band was built, consciously or subconsciously. the real world comes careening back into focus...and you can't ever get that old life back once you've deviated from it.

i think the assumption within heterosexual society that homosociality is something that one "ages out of" is very pervasive (and homophobic, natch, but we don't have to get into that now). that homosocial relationships—or even friendships more generally—are always ultimately secondary to romantic relationships (specifically marriage) is something that i think a lot of people struggle with as they move further into adulthood (i know i am lol). it just happened on a much more drastic scale for these guys because of their fame.

also so much of the stuff in this post is very damon & graham coded...

well anyway let's all kill ourselves.

[sebadztian]

So, uh, I'm sure that this must've been brought up before, but I don't know where to find the text.

I think, UT's final goal is to stuff o!Ciel's soul into r!Ciel's body.

At this point of time, we can safely assume that this Bizarre Dolls (BD) project has been going on for quite a number of years.

UT has salvaged r!Ciel's body from the fire three years ago, so he must've known then what he wanted to do with it.

Let's review the progression of the BD...

In the Campania arc, they were nothing but mindless zombie who craves brain soul.

But in the flashback, we were shown that r!Ciel was also on-board and he looked much more... advanced than those zombie-like creature. So, I think those zombies were created specially for the purpose of military experiment on unstoppable army, just like what he's told o!Ciel, Seb, Grell, and Ron.

Then there were Agares, Arden, and the other students in Public School arc (which will air next April! 😁). They were all BDs, but they were at different stages. Agares, clumsy as he was, has managed to perform day-to-day tasks, including leading several school ceremonies. I wonder why UT has made the others the way they were. If he'd made them like Agares, then the Queen wouldn't have been suspicious and she wouldn't have sent o!Ciel there.

(but then we wouldn't get to see Professor Michaelis, so I'm glad that UT has done it this way)

Back to the point...

During Bard's mini-arc, we learned that the BD has evolved even further than we thought. Layla has two souls stuffed inside one body. I don't know if "Al" has always been a part of her or if the other soul/personality had been stuffed into her body when she was 'revived', but this shows that it is possible to have two souls/'person' in one body.

Which brings me back to my initial point, about the twins.

UT has said it himself that he doesn't want to lose another Phantomhive. I don't know what his relationship is with the family, and I won't talk about that in this post. What I want to talk about is why he's salvaged r!Ciel's body and why it has to be done this way.

I mean, if you think about it, he could've just focused on protecting o!Ciel. He's shown that he's more than capable to match Seb in combat, or even defeat the demon. He could've just 'rescue' o!Ciel from Sebastian and be done with it. But why must he use r!Ciel's body?

It's about preservation.

He said that he's aged r!Ciel's body to match o!Ciel. It implies that he can also stop the ageing process, which, if you want to preserve a life, it would be the best way to go about it because a human body will eventually fail itself when it gets old & frail enough.

But a BD is different. They're strong, they can be aged when needed, or kept at their current age. If r!Ciel's physical form continues to be grown and aged until it reaches young adulthood and then UT stopped the ageing process, then potentially, that body could be immortal.

But it's still missing one key ingredient, the soul.

Now, I write this under the assumption that Seb has consumed r!Ciel's soul. Which makes this BD soulless.

This is where o!Ciel comes in. He still has his soul, so by combining the two (r!Ciel's body & o!Ciel's soul, UT can create a 'whole' person, strong & immortal).

But what if Sebastian has lied and he hasn't actually consumed r!Ciel's soul? Then that's when Layla situation would happen, that there would be two souls inside r!Ciel's body.

But Badz, why not just make o!Ciel a BD?

If some of you read my coffin post from months ago, I talked about how UT has prepared a special coffin for o!Ciel, one that he might use to preserve o!Ciel's body. So, why doesn't he just take him from Sebastian and keep him?

Because if r!Ciel's BD ever failed or stopped working, then UT would need a spare body to stuff the soul into.

At their current state, BD is still imperfect and he needs more time to work on r!Ciel's body and how to create the perfect BD. If he took o!Ciel prematurely, both bodies might fail him and he wouldn't have any Phantomhive left to work on.

UT has never been shy to express his dislike of the queen and what she's making o!Ciel do, what kind of danger she has put him in.

Which is another reason why he hasn't really tried to take the boy from Sebastian. Or to kill the demon.

What he didn't say was "... until the day that I'd take him from you."

He knows that as long as o!Ciel has Sebastian by his side, the boy will be safe because Sebastian is contractually bound to protect him. He actually trusts a demon to keep o!Ciel's soul safe because he knows of a demon's nature, how protective they could be of their 'meals'.

This is just my own take on UT and his end goal. Think of it as a headcanon or something like that. This is based on my own assumption.

At this point, all of us are in the dark of what could've been his motive. I'm just trying to have some fun while reading the manga, so please don't come to my post and attack me if you disagree with me.

Thank you!

[ohmyfate]

TW: mentions of abuse and rape

I have a lot to say about the current episodes of "Hazbin Hotel", but I want to wait until all episodes are released to draw conclusions about the entire season. However, there is one thing that has been bothering me since "Helluva Boss" and started its roots in "Hazbin hotel".

The characters' problems and conflicts mean nothing and are resolved in one episode. Remember the story of Blitz and Fizz's reunion? I remember exactly. And I really didn’t like that they reunited in one episode, although for everything that Blitz did, he should apologize much stronger and much more. We see the same thing in “Hazbin hotel”. Angel being raped, controlled, beaten and abused? Let's raise this topic in one episode and immediately solve the problem with the help of a song! Does Charlie not have the best relationship with her father? One episode and a song - this is your way out of any conflict situations! And I know that this is a common thing in animation, but Hazbin raises issues that cannot be resolved in this way. Especially in a work that considers itself aimed at an adult audience. Why didn’t any of the characters ever send their interlocutor with the words “Do you really think everything is so easy?”? Why is the show so shy or afraid to make conflicts longer and more ambiguous? Especially when there is every reason for this. I’m not talking about how often creators spit on the characters’ trauma in order to continue to show the viewer what tasteless and flat humor they have and hammer the lid into the coffin of all the problems and adulthood of the series

[thewertsearch]

Ask Comp 13/4 - 2

Yup! The Alpha timeline offers a novel solution to the problem of Sylladex capacity. If the Captcha index only needs to be consistent in the Alpha timeline, then it doesn't have to worry about reserving index space for every possible item.

If this is how things work, then the Sylladex isn't predestined, per se - it's enforced. Everyone has a finite set of objects that they're allowed to captchalogue, and if you pick up anything else, your index is invalidated - and your timeline is pruned.

You could still call it predestination, if you were so inclined, but that's only partially accurate. It's more that you're coerced into 'choosing' one particular destination - or else.

I'm loving these voice headcanons. Scratch as Emperor Belos is inspired.

What the hell? That's amazing.

Based on my (admittedly limited) experience with web administration, it's not all that surprising, either. Hacks like this are shockingly common.

No worries! The vast majority of followers don't actually interact with these posts' notes, but I still assume they're reading them. Just a quirk of Tumblr's norms.

My best guess is that the drones would arrive when the troll is on the cusp of adulthood, shortly before they leave Alternia. That would give them as much time as possible to form potent relationships - which would, in turn, give the Empire the most potent wrigglers.

I still think it would motivate younger trolls, though. I mean, if all single people are executed at eighteen, you might feel a little pressure to enter the dating game early.

Never forget the Der-sayer incident.

Rereading it, Karkat scans as sad, angry, resigned, confused, lonely, and trying to bottle up an avalanche of "FRESH RAGE."

I think we're both half right, here - he's drowning in a tide of pretty much every negative emotion imaginable.

Thank you!! We triple-checked, and it seems like Tumblr ate the first half of this ask :(

Much appreciated, though!! I love that metaphor for coming up with scattershot theories.

Oh, that makes sense. Can't believe I missed a Hussie pun, but that one was a little harder to notice.

This makes it sound like the universe is tethering her to life, just as she tethers it. What is up with this lady?

That's true! I'm pretty sure it's both.

I'd always imagined Equius as being pretty tall. They're all the same height in sprite art though, so I think it's another case of sprite art being non-representative.

I'm withholding judgement on the Meowrails until we get more interactions between them. Their early conversations were a little worrying, but it's possible that Hussie hadn't fully fleshed out the concept of Moirallegiance at the time. We'll see how they interact now that how their quadrant works has been expanded on.

[ Problem sleuth is still hosted there😁- C ]

It still seems to work for me!

Oh, fun! I guess John's birthday does sort of fall into a half-pattern with the others.

Still, it would have made more sense for him to be in a line with the other Players - his Chumhandle doesn't match theirs, either, so maybe John's just a weird case.

Thank you! I feel like this sort of analysis can only really be applied to fictional characters, though. Everything a character says or does is the result of a deliberate choice made by a writer, and I can use my knowledge of that fact to frame my analysis.

In real life, though, people just say shit - often for no reason, or for reasons they don't understand themselves. People are a lot more complicated than even the most well-written character, and understanding them requires a whole different skillset!

Someone also posted Hussie's author comment about this. It's been years since I watched the movie - and if I recall correctly, it was also pretty meta itself. Maybe I need to watch it again, as reading material for Homestuck.

ferretlady97 submitted: talking about the book commentary reminded me of something i was gonna send you when the troll black queen took off her ring but forgot "Note that when she takes the ring off six orbs are filled. Three players from the blue team have entered the session, and three from the red team. Aradia was the second of the blue team to enter. Nepeta was third. Aradia's entry is when the frog mutations took effect on the ring-wearer. And then an interval passed before Nepeta's entry. Which means the queen actually spent a decent amount of time looking like a frog, deliberating whether or not she could put up with this for an entire game session. Ultimately, she couldn't hang in there. But this does imply she at least tried." i just think it's funny thanks for your time

The language used here - the fact that she couldn't 'put up' with her transformation into a frog, and couldn't 'hang in there' - seems to imply that doing so harms her in some way.

All the frog symbolism is still a closed book to me. What exactly does Bilious Slick represent or symbolize that Derse hates so much?

[ you got another ask about LOLCAT but it has classpect spoilers so I'm saving it for later - C ]

I suppose that could work - but then again, it seems that 25% of all Lands have some association with water, so it can't always represent Life. I do want to come back to this later, though, when the Classes and Aspects are better defined.

Send away! It'll be a while until I use them, though.

I appreciate it! That's a minimum bound that I'd have to pick up the pace to reach, at this point.

Hey, what can I say? I'm here for a good time, and a long time. >:)

I keep forgetting that LOSS is a references to a fanfic. I associate it more with you, the LOSS Anon!

If she can't, she's definitely phrasing things in a misleading way, trying to imply that she can. The Tavros scene is arguable, but I really can't think of any other way to interpret how she talks about the Consorts, unless she's straight up lying - and she really doesn't do that much.

Vriska 100%s the game, but skips all the cutscenes?

...yeah, I can see it. Every side quest is another chance to win!!!!!!!! >::::)