#the rehearsals made me do this
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Mantaraybryn doing songs for CJ ✨
#It’s referencing the cover for « five minutes »#Which makes a good angst love song for these dumbasses#Ofc I have spotify pl for CJ#Unfortunately a lot of the songs are desperate love songs lol. But you know. Canon made us desperate so#I only have a few upbeat silly songs ahah. They’re really good#Caejose#caesar zeppeli#The « Now I'm looking for someone who thinks just like you - Impossible things that you always do » really did it for me.#Feels sm like sth Cae could think about Jo 🥺#I also really like « I can explain myself - I have rehearsed so well- Give me grace for when I was graceless - When I reached out#when I was Tasteless »
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your honor they're everything
#'thespian or lesbian' is the new 'gay or european' thank you for coming to my ted talk-#*eddie voice* she's thespian AND a lesbian!!!!#poppy screaming 'i knew it' in the bg#does this have anything to do with the post! no! it does not! thank you!#i think they're very funny (unintentionally) and sweet#picturing poppy listening to sally rehearse. fully leaning against the windowsill and pining#scribble salad#welcome home#popstar my beloved....#i think its quickly gonna become one of my current Top Pairings#like yes i do indeed love franklydear a lot. but also <3popstar<3. and of course 💞💖✨LAUGHINGSTOCK✨💖💞#they are my top three. gay people rejoice#no straight people on my blog no siree#kidding. i love straight people! i have - do i have straight friends. uh. oh! my parents are straight!#wait fuck are they... theyve mentioned... hm. well straight people are valid <3#side note im so glad this pairing has passed peer review#the replies in the first popstar post made me !!!!!!! YALL LIKE IT YAY !!!!!! THE PEOPLE AGREE YIPPEE!!!!
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Warden! Gem based on a dream I had recently.
It was odd, a little gruesome, and weirdly meta. For some reason, Scar was short for "Scaveah", and Jevin and Tango were Guardian hybrids. Also, it was all animated in Cherrifire's art style, but I didn't want to emulate it so...
I guess this is what I get for reading Hermitcraft fanfiction before sleeping.
#art#digital art#fanart#i love shading#original designs#i guess????#its not really but okay#hermitcraft#geminitay#mcyt#warden#hermitblr#ahhh i javent been drawing a lot#side order got me hooked and school is a pain#i also got a lot of rehearsals to worry about#BUT I MADE IT MY RESOLUTUON TO DRAW AT LEAST ONE DRAWING I LIKED EVERY MONTH SO IM DOING THIS#hermitcraft au#because it technically is???#au#i guess
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#i made this in like 2017 and and its saved as “the truth” LOL#simon and garfunkel#paul simon#art garfunkel#simon & garfunkel#art & p#my stuff#! unhinged !#do y;all ever think about art in that Hoodie / pre-central park rehearsal era is is that just me lol
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you ever just rly want a hug so you wrap yourself in a blanket burrito while drawing and pretending you’re being hugged or is it just me
#i’m so done#i need to finish this before sunday tho bc i wanna post it before my flight home in case i die/hj#and because i don’t wanna be online after tagging anyone id literally kms#anyway this turned dark mb#i don’t have expectations for anyone responding but im lowk a little frightened!!#i’m gonna lie and say a friends sent it to me and that i have no idea who made it#because i do not want to look like a creep 😭#so yay lying!!#hopefully gonna finish this soon but it’s doubtful since i have bulunteeeing from 7 to 1 tmrw and i have choir rehearsal at 4 😭#and my mom is making me go to every social event she can because i “don’t soxialize”#i shut down liek 4 times today trying so maybe i need the practice 💀#this turned into a rant#oops
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I DO NOT. HAVE TIME. FOR A NEW HYPERFIXATION. I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
#I watched half of nerdy prudes must die with my partner on Wednesday and finished watching it last night and then decided that seeing the#lords in black made me wanna actually watch nightmare time bc I tried when it came out but the format/video quality of the first one made#me never keep watching it but I wasn’t feeling well today so I watched the first episode and then I had rehearsal and watched the second#one after that. help.#time bastard is absolutely horrifying and I love it so much#but also HELP I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR THIS IT’S CONFERENCE SEASON#AKA AT MY SCHOOL WHEN ALL THE BIG PROJECTS CAUSE WE DON’T HAVE TEST FINALS JUST BIG PROJECTS ARE ALMOST DUE I CAN’T DO THIS RIGHT NOW#HELP#hyperfixation#adhd#autism#nightmare time#hatchetfield#starkid#team starkid#<333333#but also NO PLEASE WHY COULDN’T THIS HAVE JUST HAPPENED THREE WEEKS LATER#being neurodivergent is so funny bc no neurotypical will ever understand the feeling of something making you so happy and being so goddamn#mad that this is happening it’s so funny it’s terrible I hate it help dkdhdgdjdhdg#the heir speaks
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🔑
#i had a scream inside of me all day clawing at my insides and ringing in my teeth#on account of the being treated like complete and utter meaningless garbage by the person who had touched my soul with his bare hands#and i went to rehearsal in tears and in terror and do you know what that scream did?#it made its way out as big belly laughs at my funny friends#things are so fucking bad but i can still laugh and i can still make people laugh#and my mother promises with 100% certainty that i will be okay and in fact be good and happy and fulfilled
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Ed hopping on livestream to play every song off Multiply even the deluxe tracks he’s never sung live before made for a fantastic Monday morning work session I’m not going to lie. That album slaps hard. New York song of all time 🫡
#Ed Sheeran#It also made me think about how Ed is truly the perfect level of famous#he has barely any stans or online fandom#avoiding a heck of a lot of stupid drama#yet can still sell out stadiums#and do cool things for fans like visit local food stops and serve them meals#and show us his entire rehearsal process of relearning old songs#and run an instagram vinyl record account for fun and music lmao#like I just think he’s neat! a neat chill man living his best life#sorry for going Ed Sheeran fangirl on main BUT
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there is an alternate timeline where i listened to exeunt by the oh hellos a year ago and made very different choices with my love life
#that song was Made for fall 2023 me#exeunt. a stage direction. they leave#i had to fight my then-partner tooth and nail to perform in the play. i tried to leave but i just couldn’t do it#“lo the rose is gone from my eyes”???#first of all the wordplay with rose colored glasses. second of all the reference to the carol#christmas service (and that song) was another thing i had to fucking fight her to perform#she made me lie about “senior stress” keeping me from going to rehearsals. it was her. i wanted to go#i’m so disappointed in myself. i hurt myself and i hurt people who cared about me. it’s over now but our actions stull disgust me#spyders lore drop!#the oh hellos#dear wormwood
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I amb. going to bed.
#very boring day and then very LONG rehearsal skskdkfnskfna#made some mildly poor choices in that I was kinda... verbally wishy washy on my beliefs#like I agreed with/said some stuff bc I was Nervous and didn't want to be Disliked and now I'm thinking#and praying on how to do better. I'm gaining confidence so I hope that gets easier like I said before#finally got to a point where I can look the theatre boy in the eye wthout feeling weird though so that's good#and I have one of my scripts totally memorized (enough that I was helping the other girls with theirs) and the other one#I need to familiarize myself with over the weekend. anyway. prayers appreciated for me to be sturdier in my beliefs#even if that just means Not Talking and opening myself up to humiliation/whatever else skskskdjskfnak#Lu rambles
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ay man if my version of kiraboss (personality wise) has droven any pony off i am .. so sorry man IM SORRY 😭😭😭/GEN
#kiraboss#RUMBLE RAMBLE TIMEEEE#apperence wise tho??? you gettin a side eye bc what.#but i feel like im not good at depictin my true dynamics n stuff w my ship art#likelike if u talked to me n heard me it would make sm sense pfft#but js by lookin at my art its js “oh you made em both buff n stuff.. huh..”#esp w diavolo bc i know theres a hole like “oh hes this mafia sexc aphla male grrrr” hc n stuff…#….#i am holdin u so close when i say this…#dia to me is ace… sex replused at that pfft N ITS SUCH A DEAR HC TO MY HEART#kira will get kissed#maybe once maybe 50 times#MAYBE A FEW LOVEBITES BUT anythin thats get into (REDACTED) grounds? BIG “nuh uh”#ohh i wish i could go more into my vers of kiraboss im js so poor w words#oh yea another main reason i draw em like i do is GENDERRRRE yall dont get it…#oh to be a buff nonbinary w long pink hair#anywelps again apologies if ive made yall uncomfortabel :[#im rehearsing what to say
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to every single cast and crew member who conspired and came together to convince Shah Rukh to open his f*cking shirt for that glorious, glorious shot in JJP that is permanently burned into my brain. bc he is a Shy Boi ™ and Smol ™ and must be coaxed into doing so very carefully or else he will refuse altogether. tysm truly you are out here doing God's work even though they did not ask you to and i am kissing you on your hand on the forehead on the cheek on the mouth with tongue for those of you who are into that sh*t (like me *cough*)
#film: pathaan#pathaan#shah rukh khan#srk#bollywood#local gay watches Bollywood.txt#all the shots of staff holding the end of his green ensemble so he can do pushups and not trip (therefore giving us a glimpse#of waist [!!!] for us to drool over like some repressed Victorians). 10/10#he held himself up by his forearms when rehearsing for the window shot and Deepika was like 'this is an opportunity i cannot miss'#and stood straight between his legs. 10/10#yes i'm going feral over the JJP look(s) again bc YRF made me by posting more BTS footage. what of it#i was going to out myself as a thigh admirer and say something to the effect of the cake is in the legs up in the post#but i decided against it and just kept that in the tags sfjsfdnkjsdnj#look he has abs!!! and thighs!!! we are under full on hoe alert for this look in this house!!!#him complaining over FaceTime to Gauri(? i'm assuming although it could be one of the children) afterwards#'they're making me eat too much and he's [Siddharth] making me take my clothes off' crying#bby if we wanted you naked we'd ask for more than that chest shot OK rn we are settling for what we can get#but seriously tho what mode was his brain on in Besharam Rang and Dard-e-Disco. where was the switch#bc he was completely shirtless in both songs and in BR's BTS i did not see him looking at all shy#then again no one else was really dressed either so he had company??? ig???#idk idk#also Arijit cameo!!! it was only for like a second at the beginning but he is notoriously camera shy so that was a treat#and everyone vibing around the lamppost at the end#i love them so much
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starting my last week of school ever... feeling so normal
#i brought my gown and honors cord to my parents so someone could help me pin it and we made plans for having a get together post ceremony#and yesterday i got an email from company management for what i need to do the first week of work which is in two weeks#and im waiting to hear back about two applications for jobs for the fall through spring production season#im two papers one stage makeup look and two rehearsals and a 'performance' away from being done#until i decide i want to finish a polisci major beyond my minor or pick up communication
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had a full on mental breakdown on monday (and a full on therapy sesh with my voice teacher bless her heart) and another yesterday morning before the funeral because i was gonna sing at the mass and my voice wasn't working like At All so obv the only possible explanation was that i am useless and should kms. turns out i have bronchitis 🤡
#i DID sing tho. in a lower key but still. barely made it. clung to that pitiful high g like my life depended on it lol#and it was awful to me but all the old people in the church didnt know any better so they liked it and ig my grandma would have liked it too#so like whatever. the problem is on saturday i have to sing the fucking norma duet. and the girl who normally sung norma's part#said she has a rehearsal that day in a different city and fucked off into oblivion#so now they're taking a different girl who already knew adalgisa's part and making ME do norma 💀#and i only got the info last week. and i have fucking bronchitis. im gonna kill myself in front of everyone there.#ANYWAY
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just a couple of bonkers conversations i've had lately and can't quite stop thinking about
[ALT ID: Two simple black and white comics.
The first comic shows three people sitting in a row in a theatre. The first person is labeled "ballet master for company," the second "director of the company I dance with who, at best, doesn't acknowledge my existence," and the third is "Me." In the second panel, the first two people are talking and the director says, "I think people also go to his class because he's so nice to look at, right?" while turning to look at me. The third panel shows the third person staring back in bewilderment, with just a label reading "so gay."
The second comic shows two people talking on the phone. The first says "Yeah, like I know I tend to wear baggy clothes to cover up—" and the second interjects with "Yeah, 'cause you don't have a choice. Like you HAVE to wear a leotard and tights—". The second panels shows the first person looking surprised and thinking, "Wow are we actually coming to an understanding about this?" but the thought bubble is interrupted by the second person saying, "—at some point, you just had to get over any body issues you might have had." The third panel shows the first person covering their face with their hand as the second person continues, "Like I don't understand why you WOULD because you're skinny and a dancer and—" and a caption in the bottom righthand corner reads, "The answer: No, we were not."]
#my doodles#additional layers that made the first convo even worse!#i had been in rehearsal with these folks ALL DAY the day before#and was wearing LEGITIMATELY my old prom dress bc a) I'd tried it on to see if I could actually wear it#b) gotten distracted doing my makeup/hair and run out of time and c) decided 'fuck it i'm only seeing strangers and my friends and neither#care that much'#except then i also saw like. my sort of boss for my not-job. and also my actual part-time job.#ALSO the guy in question! is like!! a really sweet guy and also. someone i cannot fathom finding attractive.#i was so so thrown off by this question#it was also. the only attempt to pull me into conversation asdkljfdhja#the second conversation was just. my sister being. well. herself#but also like one of those 'you were so close!!' moments of like#yes PERHAPS being a dancer! and having to wear leotards and tights all the time!! might!#contribute! to poor body image!!! perhaps!!!!#but no#i know she meant well by it and i wasn't really offended but i was just baffled by the near miss of it all
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i do not know if i ever sent this to you. i have posted it. i hope you like it Princess.
#uhhhhhm no you HAVE NOT SENT THIS TO ME BEFORE?!?!#I literally am speechless#I’m not super talky right now#but even if I was I feel like I’d still be fucking speechless#like I already said I love your writing 🩷#and it fucking BLOWS ME AWAY when people write about me or use me as an inspiration#like????????? what??????? me???????????!#I’m going to keep this close to my heart and look at it whenever I’m feeling down#I don’t remember if I said that already but it’s true#I need to get a journal or a cute box to put things like this in so I can just grab it and look through them when I’m feeling shitty#one thing I needed to say is the fact that you shared this with me now of all times??? is kinda crazy to me#idk if it’s a coincidence or if the universe/God/whoever/whatever is trying to tell me to go back into music and singing#not going to go into it too much but I’ve been looking at my life a lot lately#and I’m realizing I’m not getting any younger…. I know I’m still young but if I don’t do something soon -#my life is going to completely pass before my eyes and I really really don’t want that#I’m *finally* going to get mental help soon (long story but I have to wait a few weeks)#and once I’m actually mentally stable I can focus on what I want to do with my life#so I’ve been thinking a lot about my performing arts background and then randomly a get an email from a choir director I know#asking if I could please join the choir for their Easter performance cause they could really use my high notes#and she just kept complimenting me and it felt really nice ☺️#then when I went to the first rehearsal I sat next to this girl and we were singing a part and the first sopranos go up to a high A#and I can hit it easily but most of them couldn’t so it felt like I was going this mini solo lol#but she asks me what my range is and I told her that back when I trained I could sing queen of the night which I think goes up to an F6#and she was talking about how impressive that is#and it made me think about if I actually trained and got back into it how good I actually could get#I don’t mean this to be like ‘look at me look at me I’m so good’#it just feels nice to have a little bit of a direction again#who knows if I’ll actually go down the music path again but it does sound damn exciting#I miss it with all my heart - I miss singing and performing and acting… I even miss music theory#anyway rant over and i ran out of space but thank you so much I seriously can’t thank you enough 😭🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷
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