#i made this in like 2017 and and its saved as “the truth” LOL

[heartsandbones]

[aliveandfullofjoy]

So I was reading about the first Oscars ceremony, and it had a division between Outstanding Picture and Best Unique & Artistic Film, where Unique & Artistic was apparently meant to be an equal to Outstanding Picture but dedicated more for prestige artistic works. The next year, the two categories became one from then on, and Outstanding Picture was the only top prize. (If any of that is wrong, blame wikipedia.)

If the split had remained, and there was a more commercial-y movie top prize and a prestige art top prize, what are some notable movies that suddenly pick up wins?

okay wait........ this is a brilliant question and i am ashamed to say i’ve never really given it much thought until now.

idk if you’ve seen wings and sunrise but they’re both pretty great and they do represent wildly different kinds of filmmaking. while it’s safe to say Wings is the more commercial film, it has great craftsmanship behind it and it very clearly created the template for accessible, capital-i Important, and well-made best picture winners to come. 

and, full transparency, sunrise is one of my, like, top 15 favorite movies, so i’m hella biased, but that movie is a gorgeous and strange and thrilling piece of work. the title “unique and artistic film” is impossibly vague, but watching sunrise makes it very, very clear that it fits that bill for that category. and while we’ll, of course, never know what might have happened if that category had continued, it’s tempting to think that all the winners in unique and artistic film would be of sunrise’s calibre, but knowing the oscars... that’s clearly a fantasy, lol. while sunrise is a wildly inventive and artistic film, it’s important to remember that it was fully on the academy’s radar -- janet gaynor won best actress in part for her performance in the film, and it also won best cinematography. so while it’s tempting to think the academy would always recognize a truly unique and artistic achievement every year, in all likelihood, they probably wouldn’t stray too far from the movies that were already on their radar. 

so for this thought experiment!!

it’s probably safe to assume every best picture winner has to go in one of the two categories. there are only a handful of winners that stick out as maybe missing out on the big win in this new system, but only a handful. 

so uh. this is way more than you asked but i got hooked. here’s what i think might have happened if the two best picture categories had stuck around. as i was working through the years, it became clear to me that, unfortunately, in a lot of years, the unique and artistic film would likely end up going to the more overtly “prestigious” films, such as the song of bernadette or the life of emile zola, while their far better and more commercially viable rivals (casablanca for bernadette, the awful truth for zola) would win outstanding picture. the actual best picture winners have an asterisk next to them. what’s also interesting to consider is the importance of the best director category: most of the time, a split in picture and director will tell you what’s clearly the runner-up. those years, usually, give you a good sense of how the two awards would shake out.

Outstanding Picture / Unique and Artistic Film

1929: The Broadway Melody*; The Divine Lady 

1930: The Big House; All Quiet on the Western Front* 

1931: Cimarron*; Morocco 

1932: Grand Hotel*; Bad Girl

1933: Little Women; Cavalcade*

1934: It Happened One Night*; One Night of Love 

1935: The Informer; A Midsummer Night’s Dream (** this is one of the few years i think the actual BP winner, Mutiny on the Bounty, would miss out; The Informer was clearly the runner-up for BP with wins in director, actor, and screenplay, while Midsummer was seen as THE artistic triumph of the year, and with its historic write-in cinematography win, there was clearly a lot of passion for it)

1936: Mr. Deeds Goes to Town; The Great Ziegfeld*

1937: The Awful Truth; The Life of Emile Zola*

1938: You Can’t Take It With You*; Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs or Grand Illusion (** this one’s tough... Grand Illusion made history as the first non-english movie nominated for BP, and it clearly had a lot of support, but Snow White was such a monumental moment in Hollywood, and the academy clearly acknowledged that with its honorary award)

1939: Gone with the Wind*; The Wizard of Oz (** this is one of the first years with a clear runaway favorite for best picture, which makes guessing the way the other award would go very difficult! i’m leaning towards Oz purely because of its technical achievements, but i’m not confident about that choice at all.)

1940: Rebecca*; The Grapes of Wrath 

1941: How Green Was My Valley*; Citizen Kane

1942: Yankee Doodle Dandy; Mrs. Miniver*

1943: Casablanca*; The Song of Bernadette

1944: Going My Way*; Wilson

1945: The Bells of St. Mary’s; The Lost Weekend*

1946: The Best Years of Our Lives*; Henry V

1947: Gentleman’s Agreement*; A Double Life 

1948: The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Hamlet*

1949: All the King’s Men*; The Heiress 

1950: All About Eve*; Sunset Boulevard

1951: A Place in the Sun; An American in Paris*

1952: The Greatest Show on Earth*; The Quiet Man 

1953: Roman Holiday; From Here to Eternity*

1954: The Country Girl; On the Waterfront*

1955: Marty*; Picnic

1956: Around the World in 80 Days*; Giant

1957: Peyton Place; The Bridge on the River Kwai

1958: The Defiant Ones; Gigi*

1959: The Diary of Anne Frank; Ben-Hur*

1960: Elmer Gantry; The Apartment*

1961: West Side Story*; Judgment at Nuremberg

1962: To Kill a Mockingbird; Lawrence of Arabia*

1963: Tom Jones*; 8½ 

1964: Mary Poppins; My Fair Lady*

1965: The Sound of Music*; Doctor Zhivago

1966: A Man for All Seasons*; Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

1967: In the Heat of the Night*; The Graduate

1968: Oliver!*; 2001: A Space Odyssey 

1969: Midnight Cowboy; Z 

1970: Airport; Patton*

1971: The French Connection*; The Last Picture Show

1972: The Godfather; Cabaret

1973: The Sting*; The Exorcist

1974: Chinatown; The Godfather, Part II

1975: Jaws; One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest*

1976: Rocky*; Network

1977: Star Wars; Annie Hall*

1978: Coming Home; The Deer Hunter*

1979: Kramer vs. Kramer*; All That Jazz

1980: Ordinary People*; Raging Bull

1981: Chariots of Fire*; Reds

1982: E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial; Gandhi*

1983: Terms of Endearment*; Fanny and Alexander

1984: Amadeus*; The Killing Fields

1985: Out of Africa*; Ran

1986: Platoon*; Blue Velvet

1987: Moonstruck; The Last Emperor*

1988: Rain Man*; Who Framed Roger Rabbit

1989: Driving Miss Daisy*; Born on the Fourth of July

1990: Ghost; Dances with Wolves*

1991: The Silence of the Lambs*; JFK

1992: Unforgiven*; Howards End 

1993: Schindler’s List*; The Piano 

1994: Forrest Gump*; Three Colors: Red 

1995: Braveheart*; Toy Story 

1996: Jerry Maguire; The English Patient*

1997: Titanic*; L.A. Confidential

1998: Shakespeare in Love*; Saving Private Ryan

1999: The Cider House Rules; American Beauty*

2000: Traffic; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (** this is another year where i think the actual BP winner, Gladiator, might have missed out. it was a tight three-way race going into oscar night, and if there were two BP awards, i think this consensus might have settled, leaving Gladiator to go home with just actor and some tech awards.)

2001: A Beautiful Mind*; Mulholland Drive

2002: Chicago*; The Pianist

2003: Mystic River; The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King*

2004: Million Dollar Baby*; The Aviator

2005: Crash*; Brokeback Mountain

2006: The Departed*; Babel

2007: No Country for Old Men*; The Diving Bell and the Butterfly

2008: The Dark Knight; Slumdog Millionaire*

2009: The Hurt Locker*; Avatar

2010: The King’s Speech*; The Social Network

2011: The Artist*; The Tree of Life

2012: Argo*; Life of Pi

2013: 12 Years a Slave*; Gravity 

2014: Birdman*; Boyhood

2015: Spotlight*; The Revenant

2016: La La Land; Moonlight*

2017: Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri; The Shape of Water*

2018: Black Panther; Roma (** again, i think Green Book gets bumped out in this scenario, i think Black Panther is precisely the kind of movie that benefits from an award that’s seemingly more ~populist~ while Roma easily snags the unique & artistic prize)

2019: 1917; Parasite*

2020: The Father; Nomadland*

but of course i have no idea at all, and most of these are just my gut reactions lol. what a fun question!

[pebblysand]

[FIRST LINE TAG]

Thanks so much to @hinnyfied & @ashesandhackles for the tag! My most sincere apologies for being so late to the party.

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have fewer than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favourite opening line. Then tag some people to take part.

[side note: for the purposes of this, I'm ignoring the three-sentence stories I've recently republished on ao3, considering the first line would be 1/3 of the story itself lol].

.

1. watch (the minutes tick, tick, tick and we couldn't save you) - hp - 2021

"That night, Minerva's heart is the first to skip a beat."

2. castles - hp - 2020

"May, that year, is a blur."

3. pick me, choose me, love me - hp - 2021

"The life she has, it’s the life she chose."

4. the rare firing of wild cannons - hp - 2021

"Sometimes, they row."

5. listening for that angel choir - spooks - 2021

"Mum and Dad were in love."

6. slipped (and said something sort of like your name) - hp - 2021

"In the years that follow May 1998, hundreds of thousands of words are written about the war."

7. the wolf's just a puppy (and the door's double-locked) - hp - 2021

"It's a necklace that does it."

8. ce ne sont que des cailloux - hp - 2021

"Her mother used to say that flowers bloomed in the spring - that Fleur should, too."

9. children - silk - 2017

"When she thinks about him, she thinks about them and all she sees is children."

10. daisies - silk - 2018

"The evening is dark already through the windows of her apartment; they've switched from tea to beer about an hour ago."

11. truth - peaky blinders - 2017

"Truth is: he told May he did bad things."

12. mistakes - the good wife - 2014

"He was about to leave, earlier, and that might have been a mistake."

13. dreams - the good wife - 2014

"He has dreams, lots of dreams."

14. horses made of sticks - the good wife - 2014

"She ignores it."

15. before - the good wife - 2014

"He used not to know her."

16. once - the good wife - 2013

"Once."

17. don't worry about it - the good wife - 2013

"It's done."

18. cannonballs - the good wife - 2013

"Sometimes, he feels like he’s piling up memories like layers and layers of winter clothing."

19. the things that will likes - the good wife - 2013

"He likes to watch her dress."

20. boxes - without a trace - 2013

"She stands on her tiptoes to retrieve a box from the storage room’s top shelf, struggling to keep all the others from cascading down to the floor."

.

[IS THERE A PATTERN?]: Okay this was by far the most interesting exercise of this kind I've done on tumblr. I really did not think there would be a pattern and yet it couldn't be more clear, even going back to stuff I wrote almost ten years ago. All of these are short statements of fact, character rather than environment based (maybe with the exception of slipped and daisies?) and god do I write present tense. It feels like they all definitely look and sound similar.

[FAVOURITE?]: this is also an interesting exercise because while I think of some of these as my favourite opening paragraphs/scenes (probably once, children, listening for that angel choir come to mind), I've never really thought of what my favourite opening line would be on its own. This is genuinely like asking me to choose a favourite child, lol. I think I'm going to go with truth ('truth is: he told May he did bad things') because I love the structure of that fic, and I just absolutely love that scene between May and Tommy ("Oh, I do bad things, but you already knew that.") But don't quote me on it, I might change my mind later.

I reckon everyone I know has already been tagged in this, so I won't push it. @copper-dust maybe? Honestly, anyone who hasn't been tagged and wants to do it, consider yourself tagged :).

[proeticshadows]

December 31, 2020 - Today's the last day of the year, and my last day with ABS-CBN Books.

2020, as cliché as this may sound, is one hell of a year. It will be an understatement to say how tired, stressed, anxious, melancholic, and even angry I have been this year. There have been a lot of ups and downs (mostly downs lol), quite a few friendships and connections lost, and a number of questions I don't even know how to answer. Career wise, it's been a tough year of swift transitions and unexpected turnout of events, and given the very controversial and challenging state of our company, among with the most of the 11,071 employees, starting tomorrow, I'm one of those wounded warriors of Mother Ignacia.

I think I manifested it well throughout the years how much I fell in love with ABS-CBN the moment I stepped in to its compound back in 2017. I have the most extensive gratitude for my first Kapamilya family, MOR 101.9, but with ABS-CBN Books, just in the span of a year and a half, I evolved to a better person I never thought I would meet - both personally and professionally.

I am so grateful for having such a supportive team around me, even if we're one of the tiniest Kapamilya teams out there. They treated me like a valued family member and not just a mere colleauge, and they taught me a lot of things. With ABS-CBN Books, I gained true friends who made me feel like work is not work, and that there are people who can accept me who I really am. Being the shy introvert that I am, the Books team patiently led the way to teach me the essential things on book publishing and digital content production. I am not the best content producer out there but with their guidance, I have achieved numerous milestones in my professional career, despite how ugly this year has been for us.

Maraming salamat sa mga taong nagkusang mangamusta sa akin after what happened on May 5 and July 10, 2020. Honestly, I was shocked to see the names of people who commented and messaged me about the franchise denial - I didn't expect many of you to be that concerned. After all, I am just one Kapamilya employee and that time, I was "saved" from the retrenchment, but we are all affected and hurt from the franchise denial. Also, I have disappointments on some who I expected to be there for me during that most difficult time of the year for me but didn't, but that's a different story I'd rather not ponder on.

This year has revealed to me the people who I should value the most and forget those who made me feel like they don't even care. At least, I learned my lesson. Another thing, I gained more online friends who know better - particularly the amazing people in Abbey Sy's Always Be Creating Art Club. I know that all my feelings and worries are safe with them, and they are always available to listen and give me practical and truthful advices I need to hear without the sugarcoating.

Here's to new beginnings this 2021! There's still some hope to remain in the four corners of Mother Ignacia, so I am manifesting. I am excited to take all these lessons with me wherever He will place me. ✨

No matter what happens and no matter where I will be, I am #ForeverKapamilya. ❤️💚💙

[justharuthings]

KDRAMA.

My Top 5 Korean-Drama Recommendations:

1. Chicago Typewriter

2. Remember: War of the Son

3. Tunnel

4. D-Day

5. Class of Lies

Disclaimer: I am NOT A FAN of romantic comedies, so most of my kdrama recommendations are all under the genre of crime, mystery and thriller.

5. Class of Lies (2019)

Network: OCN

Genre: Crime, Mystery, Thriller

Episodes: 16

Plot (by AsianWiki):

Ki Moo-Hyeok (Yoon Kyun Sang) is a lawyer with a high winning rate. He only cares about money. Due to a murder case at a high school which he deals with, his reputation as a lawyer hits rock bottom. In order to regain his good name as a lawyer, he sneaks into the high school and begins to work as a temporary teacher. He tries to reveal a secret which the students have. In so doing, Ki Moo-Hyeok gets involved with Teacher Ha So-Hyun (Keum Sae Rok). She is P.E. teacher who loves her students. Ki Moo-Hyeok and Ha So-Hyun then face the students' secret.

Thoughts/Conclusion:

As I am writing this, this is the latest kdrama I have watched. This was recommended by my friend and I remembered myself including this in my list of kdramas ‘to watch’ way before, but hasn’t been able to, yet. Hahaha!

In all of the dramas I’ve watched (with the same plot as this one), this one stands out the most because of its ending ㅡ open-ended. Yes, there were still some unanswered questions, but that is what made this drama intriguing. I love how realistic the approach of the drama is in interpreting the story. That not everything gets resolved, and in this drama too, the ending with Yu Beom Jin left us with many unanswered questions.

4. D-Day (2015)

Network: JTBC

Genre: Medical Drama, Disaster, Romance

Episodes: 20

Plot (by Wikipedia):

Lee Hae-sung is a surgeon who is transferred from one of the best hospitals in Seoul to a rundown hospital with no ER. After disobeying his previous hospital director, Park Geon, he then meets Jung Ddol-mi, an orthopedic resident from Busan who came to Seoul to transfer a patient. Ddol-mi tries to meet professor Han Woo-jin, a cold robotics surgeon who works in Hae-sung's old hospital who saved her life when she was younger before going back to Busan. However, she is stuck in Seoul after trying to save a patient. Meanwhile, a sinkhole appears in Seoul followed by a big earthquake that blocks all access to the city, causing phones, electricity, and water to not function. Hae-sung teams up with Ddol-mi to treat people, but soon medicine starts to run out.

Thoughts/Conclusion:

If I will recall, I think this is the first medical kdrama I have watched? I watched this because of Lee Sungyeol of INFINITE is casted in this drama and also because of the plot. But as I go on, I found myself so absorbed in the series.

What I liked about this series aside from the plot are the actors and actresses. They all did well in portraying each character, but I have to say, Kim Young Kwang really stands out for me. He has put a lot of effort in expressing his emotions into his character and it felt so real.

3. Tunnel (2017)

Network: OCN

Genre: Police Procedural, Crime, Thriller

Episodes: 16

Plot (by AsianWiki):

In 1986, Detective Park Gwang-Ho (Choi Jin Hyuk) desperately tries to catch a serial killer. He chases after the serial killer and goes through a tunnel. On the other side of the tunnel, Detective Park Gwang-Ho finds himself in the year 2017. The serial killer has resumed the killings that began 30 years ago. Detective Park Gwang-Ho works with Detective Kim Sun-Jae (Yoon Hyun Min) and Professor of Criminal Psychology Shin Jae-Yi (Lee Yoo Young) to catch the killer.

Thoughts/Conclusion:

I was actually torn between Tunnel and Signal, but I decided to include Tunnel in my Top 5 kdrama recommendations because it tackles criminal psychology as well as criminal profiling and I have been very interested in those things lately. What makes this series intriguing is that, it shows how psychopaths and sociopaths are developing in the society.

2. Remember: War of the Son (2015)

Network: SBS

Genre: Legal Drama, Crime, Thriller, Mystery

Episodes: 20

Plot (by Wikipedia):

Seo Jin-woo has a special condition called hyperthymesia which allows him to remember almost every day in perfect detail. While his father, Seo Jae-hyuk on the other hand, developed an Alzheimer's disease, making him lose his memories. When Seo Jae-hyuk was wrongfully convicted of murder, Jin-woo vows to prove innocence of his father. Four years later, Jin-woo becomes a lawyer to put the real criminal behind bars but bribery, corruption, and betrayals would not give him an easy road to justice.

Thoughts/Conclusion:

This series has been my top 1 kdrama ever since I have watched it, but Chicago Typewriter happened (well, I’ll be talking about this later). I came across a clip from the first episode of the series in Facebook. It was the scene on Jinwoo and Inha on the bus while identifying the culprit who stole something from Inha. I was intrigued about it and how Jinwoo has sharp memory and remembers everything.

What I love about this drama is the refreshing new plot and the characters, oh, let’s not forget how good Nam Goong Min portrayed his character as Nam Gyu Man. He really showed excellent acting skills to the point that even the viewers will hate him SO MUCH. Hahaha.

1. Chicago Typewriter (2017)

Network: TVN

Genre: Historical, Fantasy, Comedy, Romance

Episodes: 16

Plot (by Wikipedia):

The series depicts three resistance fighters who lived during the 1930s Japanese occupation of Korea, and are reincarnated into the present as a best-selling writer in a slump, a fan, and a ghostwriter.

It is an epic story of comradeship, friendship, love and betrayal that lasts 80 years. As the trio of writer, ghostwriter and fan race against time to find the truth of the past that haunts them, will their discovery affect their present?

Thoughts/Conclusion:

This is actually one of the recent kdramas I’ve watched during this enhanced community quarantine and I just have to say that this is actually one of my regrets in life (ok this is exaggerated lol but anyways). I regret not being able to watch this during the release which was last 2017. But it was actually on my ‘to watch’ list at that time. I’ve seen the plot and it made me curious, so I waited for it to finish before actually starting it, but I wasn’t really able to watch it because I got busy with school.

THIS. IS. SO. SO. SO. SO. GOOD.

As I’ve said above, Remember: War of the Son used to be my top 1 kdrama of all time, but after watching Chicago Typewriter, I changed my mind. Okay hear me out, I’ve seen A LOT of kdramas with new and interesting plot, but they haven’t topped Remember yet, but Chicago Typewriter just did, and I really mean it.

For the story, there were times where I felt that the story-line was moving slow. I mean, I wasn’t expecting it to be fast-paced but there were really scenes that I think have been dragged too long and not that important. But aside that, everything was SO GOOD. YES. IT WAS SO GOOD.

I love how series unfold the genuine friendship between the three main characters during the 1930s Japanese occupation of Korea – Seo Hwiyoung, Ryu Soohyun and Shin Yul. The storytelling throughout the drama is also good, even though they were constantly shifting timelines between 1930s and the present.  

The OSTs in the series were also GOOD. I tried listening to it after I watched the drama and I swear, listening to Satellite by SALTNPAPER and Writing Our Stories by SG Wannabe brings back all those emotions you’ve felt while watching it.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey! Will go on a 10-day trip soon and I was thinking i would like to save some fics just in case i don t have data over there. Share some longer stories? (also really loving your blog, million heart emojis from me)

Hi Nonny!

Oh gosh, that’s exciting!! I love long trips! And lucky for you I LOVE long fics, because they’re perfect for a long trip! (that and I have SO MANY FICS for 20 to 25 and 25 to 50 that I had to choose one or the other for you, LOL). 

Lucky for you I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to share that very list!! BUT if you prefer some longer fics, check out these past lists I made:

Top 20 Fave 40K+ w. Fics (April 2017)

Novel Length Fics: 50 to 100K (Nov. 2018) 

Novel Length Fics: 100K+ w. (May 2019)

Smut-Free Fics Over 50K (Aug. 2019)

Otherwise, I think these fics will be perfect for your trip! And as always, I sort them by length so if you want longer fics, check out the bottom of the list and work your way up, or just want something that will last you a plane ride or a day of relaxation, check out the top to bottom!

—–

NOVELLA-LENGTH FICS: 25 to 50K w. (Aug 2019)

Among the Secret Things by Kate_Lear for coloredink (E, 26,073 w., 14 Ch. || Angst, Drama, Amnesia) – Sherlock would be the last person to describe himself as given to flights of fancy, but at the look on Lestrade’s face he could swear that something inside him curls up and dies. Part 1 of Among the Secret Things

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w., 10 Ch. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a "normal" family. It's easy enough to pretend when all you're doing is dropping the act.

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

Don't Leave Anything Out by lookupkate (E, 27,422 w., 24 Ch. || Letters / Epistolary, Misunderstandings, Angst, Happy Ending, Alternate Meeting, Sherlock in Love, Pining Sherlock) – The first letter John writes home from Afghanistan is meant to go to a woman he went on only one date with. How it ends up in Sherlock's hands is completely innocent. What happens next is not. What do you do when you find out the person you're in love with has been lying about something as monumental as who they are? What do you do when you're the one who lied?How on earth do you put the pieces back together?

Vena Cava by SilentAuror (E, 27,452, 1 Ch. || H/C, Infidelity, Angst, HLV Fix-It, Romance) – Sherlock has been shot in the chest; John has been shot in the heart. Though everything is broken, they do their best to heal the wounds that Mary left on them both.

Trust Me, Trust Nobody by BlueMoonOnTheRise (T, 27,751 w., 10 Ch. || Kidnapping, Friendship / No Slash, Adventure, Trust Issues) – Whatever he told Mycroft, John trusted Sherlock almost instantly. When a new case shows up - smattered with the usual thrill of danger, death and cool logic - such trust ends up pushed to its very limits...

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Silhouettes by allonsys_girl (E, 28,585 w., 7 Ch. || Canon Compliant, POV John, Heavy Drinking, Sad/Depressed John, Grief/Mourning, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Reunion, Foot Jobs, Blow Jobs, Infidelity, Cheating, Drug Use/Abuse, Anal, Switchlock, Rimming, Parentlock) – Sherlock and John find comfort in each other's arms, but as ever with these two, it's not your typical relationship. It's fluffy at the beginning, gets deeply angsty in the middle, gets porny at the end.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

An Experiment in Apathy Series by belovedmuerto (G to E, 28,701 w. across 13 stories || Empath John, Empath-by-Proxy Sherlock, Epic Bromance Becomes Romance, Angst, Nightmares, Experiments, Trauma, Dreams) – "No man is an island, John. You less so than most." A sequel to the EiE Series, wherein John and Sherlock explore their relationship.

To be Loved by You by TwisterMelody (M, 28,775 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, H/C, Friends to Lovers, Post-HLV, Infidelity, Character Death) – Too many times they had confessed themselves in the darkness, leaving it there, never to speak of it again.  But this is different.  This love deserves the light of day.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

The Wisteria Tree by SilentAuror (E, 29,773 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S3, Emotional Love Making, Amnesia/Memory Loss, Sherlock Loves John So Much, Sherlock POV, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending, First Times, Hurt/Comfort, Est. Rel., Retirement) – Sherlock wakes up from a month-long coma only to discover that he has no memory of the previous six years to his own shock as well as John's...

M Is For Moriarty by ElvendorkInfinity (T, 29,882 w., 12 Ch. || Suspense, Mystery, Case Fic, Worried Sherlock, No Slash, Whump) – A figure at the end of the hospital bed; a needle in the dark...Moriarty has John, and Sherlock must follow the paper trail through London to find him before time runs out. Sequel to BANG.

"finally kiss the bloody idiot" by Salambo06 (E, 29,812 w., 13 Ch. || Mutual Pining, Declarations of Love, First Kiss / Time, Angst, Misunderstandings, Fantasies POV John) – Inspired by a fic idea on tumblr : "John and Sherlock know the Yard has a pool going for when they’re finally going to get together. It’s been running forever, and it’s worth thousands of pounds. It’s all fun and games, hahaha, until they find out Lestrade is in dire financial straits (dog needs emergency surgery, he’s putting his kid through gymnastics training, I don’t know, something), and they decide to fake a relationship to win the pool for him. Sherlock figures out the day and way that Lestrade thinks it’s going to happen, and they act it out. It’s all for a good cause, fake relationship style, until it’s not." Part 1 of The Pool

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w., 31 Ch. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

Hitting the Water at Sixty Miles an Hour by what_alchemy (E, 30,568 w., 5 Ch. || Fake Rel., Roadtrips, Slow Burn) – “You love your mother, Sherlock?” John watched the muscles in Sherlock’s jaw jump. He nodded in one sharp jerk.“Then we’re going to her party and making her happy.” John let out a resigned sigh. “As a ruddy couple, you bastard.”

The Kissing Disease by cottonballz_of_death (E, 30,856 w., 15 Ch. || Sick Fic, Angst with Happy Ending, Case Fic, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Jealous Sherlock, Body Image Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional H/C, POV Sherlock, Oral / Anal, Thong, Frottage) – John brings home a boyfriend, shocking Sherlock, who long ago gave up hope that his straight flatmate would ever take a romantic interest in him. In a bid to reconnect with John, he tries to infect himself with a "harmless" virus. Neither of them is prepared for the emotional fallout that results.

An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, 31,059 w., 4 Ch. || Vampires AU || Vampire Sherlock, Misunderstandings, Bat!Sherlock, Pining Sherlock, Humour, Magical Realism, Fluff and Angst, Blood Drinking, Holmes Family, Slow Burn) – At Montague Street when Sherlock was forced to sate his body’s needs, he was at least able to wander about the flat as much as he pleased. At Baker Street, it was mini-bags in a mini-fridge and bedroom confinement.

Shallow Grave by SilentAuror (E, 31,672 w., 1 Ch. || Romance, Angst, HLV Fix It, Infidelity, Pining Sherlock, First Person POV Sherlock) – Starts as Sherlock's plane is taking off at the end of His Last Vow. When he finds out that Moriarty is alive and that he's being recalled from his mission, Sherlock decides that he should have told John how he felt before he left. So he walks off the plane and kisses him.

Love or What You Will by miss_frankenstein (T, 31,987 w., 11 Ch. || College/Uni AU || Professor John, Ph.D Student Sherlock, Pining John, Poetry, Falling in Love / Slow Burn, Light Angst, Happy Ending) – John is an English professor who specializes in War and Post-War Literature and Sherlock is the brilliant yet impossible Ph.D. student assigned to be his TA because no one in the Chemistry Department is willing to put up with him. And - somewhere between Waugh and Plath, e-mails and takeaway, novels and villanelles - they fall in love.

Here Comes The Sun by JennLynn77 (E, 32,126 w., 15 Ch. || Post S4/TFP, John Whump, Caring Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Sex, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Switchlock, Cuddling/Snuggling, Surgery/Injury Recovery, Endearments, Anal, Hand Jobs, Porn with Feels) – John suffers an injury and needs surgery. Sherlock, and those around him, help John recover. Along the way, John and Sherlock realise what they mean to each other, and what they've had together all this time.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

Five Times They Kissed for a Case, and One Time They Kissed for Real by fleetwood_mouse (M, 32,406 w., 6 Ch. || 5+1, Slow Burn, Fluff / Angst, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers) – A stolen ring! An artful blogger! And many more adventures for your enjoyment.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,690 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

a good old-fashioned happy ending by darcylindbergh (E, 32,731 w., 26 Ch. || Christmas, Frottage, Comfort, Est. Rel., Fluff, Insecure Sherlock) – For Christmas this year, Sherlock wants to get John something special: something every fairytale deserves. Part 2 of things fairy tales are made of

Our Enthusiasms Which Cannot Always Be Explained by withoutawish (M, 32,961 w., 1 Ch. || Christmas, Fluff and Angst, H/C, Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mild Gore, Sherlock Whump) – The list that is tacked haphazardly on the refrigerator of 221B reads, ‘Kidney(s), and/or a full cadaver (preferably male, late 30s, under six feet tall), bag of fresh toes, sixteen cow’s eyes (corneas retained), dual exhaust hand –held flame thrower, an unopened first edition copy of Joseph Conrad’s 'Heart of Darkness', and no less than ten abhorrently gruesome murders in the upcoming month.” The one neatly hanging next to it simply reads, “Sex.” One of these lists is not John Watson’s. If John Watson were to put what he really wanted in list form, to live in a land somewhere beyond ‘almosts' now that Sherlock Holmes has indeed returned to him, he would never be able to look his flatmate in the eye ever again.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w., 2 Ch. || Case Fic, HLV+, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock's shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

Bedtime Stories by Liketheriver (M, 34,388 w., 1 Ch. || Emotional H/C, Romance, Angst & Humour, Bed Sharing, John First Person, TRF, John Whump) – John's POV during Season 2 and beyond when Sherlock takes up semi-permanent residence in his bed. A collection of codas and missing scenes wrapped up into one long fic and topped with a bow that takes the story beyond Reichenbach and into happy territory once more. Part 1 of Bedtime Universe

carrying up his morning tea by darcylindbergh (E, 34,504 w., 5 Ch. || Post S3, Minor Character Death, Grief/Mourning, Wakes/Funerals, Estranged John, Pining Sherlock, Depression/Insecurity, Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Chronic Pain/Injury, Reconciliation, Awkwardness, Loneliness, Scars, Heavy Angst With Happy Ending) – His fingers tremble as he dials and he can’t force them steady. Familiar number, even though he hasn’t used it in two years. He isn’t even sure he should be calling it now, but she’d asked. She’d made him promise.

Inexplicable by emmagrant01 (E, 34,664 w., 6 Ch. || Body Swap, TSo3, Magical Realism / Artifacts, Infidelity, Angst) – So what was in that matchbox, anyway? John and Sherlock find out, the hard way.

Where Else Would I Be? by cwb (E, 34,910 w., 10 Ch. || Retirementlock, Domestic Fluff, Falling in Love, Parentlock, Fluff and Smut, Reminiscing) – John and Sherlock's five-year-old granddaughter spends the weekend with them in Sussex. Sherlock happily indulges her whims, and John takes care of them while quietly revisiting the past thirty years of their lives together.

The Yellow Poppies by SilentAuror (E, 34,952 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Nightmares, HLV Fix-It, PTSD, Trauma, POV Sherlock, Doctor John) – Sherlock is threatened and assaulted in the hospital immediately after having been shot in the heart, first by Mary, then by Magnussen. As he recovers at Baker Street with John and plans the attack on Appledore with Mycroft, he fights to work through the trauma caused by these two visits. Set during His Last Vow.

LHR-HNL by scullyseviltwin (E, 35,066 w., 7 Ch. || Hawaiian Vacation, Post-TRF, Friends To Lovers, Slow Burn, Just Talk Already, Drinking, Mutual Pining) – In need of an endangered flora sample, Sherlock and John must make a trip to an unexpected destination.

That Partitioning of the Things of Youth by wearitcounts (E, 35,353 w., 7 Ch. || Humour and Angst, Post-TRF, Fake Relationship, UST / RST, Friends to Lovers, Jealous John) – Victor Trevor is in town, and nobody's happy.

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, Molly x John [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon...or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn't know what Molly's up to...but he knows he doesn't like it.

Classified(s) by blueink3 (E, 36,153 w., 4 Ch. || Wedding Date AU || Fake Relationship, Jealous, PIning, H/C, Idiots in Love, Happy Ending, Mary is not Nice) – Clara's American father is the ambassador to some such territory that Great Britain probably used to own, but she (and Harry’s undying love for her) is the reason John is getting on a flight at 12:30pm, flying across the second largest ocean in the world, and pretending to be in a perfectly happy, healthy relationship with an undoubtedly perfectly coiffed stranger. See, Clara is not only American (and wealthy to boot), she's also best friends with John’s ex-fiancée. Whom she's placed in the wedding party. As Maid of Honor. And John just happens to be Best Man. Bloody brilliant.

The Boy Who Drank Stars by kinklock (E, 36,157 w., 4 Ch. || Howl’s Moving Castle AU || Witches and Wizards, Slow Burn, Magic, Jealous John, Happy Ending, Bed Sharing) – “I’m looking for a castle,” John informed the scarecrow. “A moving one.”Except that, as it turned out, it was not a moving one at all.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

Malediction by MapleleafCameo (M, 36,680 w., 11 Ch. || Ladyhawke AU || Magical Realism, Romance, Curses, Eventual Happy Ending) – Cursed to a half-life, John and Sherlock must fight the forces of evil to be reunited once again.

Nothing to Make a Song About by emmagrant01 (E, 36,833 w., 10 Ch. || Post-TRF, First Time, Reunion, Jealous John, Pining Sherlock, Romance, Angst with Happy Ending) – When Sherlock returned from his faked death, John could not forgive him for the deception and broke off their friendship. Ten years later, John returns to London in search of yet another new beginning. Sherlock, not surprisingly, is waiting.

A Promise Made to Be Broken by PlantsAreNeat (E, 37,018 w., 7 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Pining, Slow Burn, RST, Eventual Relationship, POV Sherlock) – A young John makes an ‘if we’re still single at 40, we’ll get together’ pledge to a woman who ends up all wrong for him. She keeps reminding him of the promise, and won't let go of it. John asks Sherlock to pose as his boyfriend at a family wedding, so as to dash her hopes permanently. Sherlock, who has at last acknowledged his feelings for John, reluctantly agrees despite knowing how painful it will be to ‘have’ John, but not keep him.

The Unfinished Letters by SilentAuror (E, 37,391 w. , 1 Ch.|| Post S3 / S3 / HLV Fix it, Angst with Happy Ending, Romance, Infidelity, Depression, Case Fic, POV Third Person Sherlock, Love Confessions, Pining Sherlock, Letters) – A fire at Baker Street leads John to read something he was never intended to see: a notebook of half-written, unfinished letters Sherlock wrote during his time away...

Turn Left at the Park by Glenmore (NR (E), 37,409 w., 28 Ch. || Alternate First Meeting / ASiP Divergence, Case Fic, Depression, Suicidal Ideation, Loneliness, No Mary, Possessive Sherlock, Fluff & Angst, Nightmares/PTSD, Sherlock Saves John, Sherlock Whump-ish, Doctor John) – So what would have happened if John hadn't walked through the park and met Stamford?What if, instead, he walked around the park and just went home?

Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, 39,629 w., 6 Ch. || Fluff & Angst, Case Fic, Oral / Anal, Humour, First Time, Miscommunication, Snark, Christmas) – Christmas time. 'Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there's a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn't have expected anything different.

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || First Person POV Sherlock, HLV Fix-It, Indifelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

Only To Be With You by SinceWhenDoYouCallMe_John (M, 40,768 w., 4 Ch. || Black Mirror / Future AU || Character Death, Future Technology, Sickness/Cancer/Illness, Heavy Angst with Happy Ending, First Person POV John, Pining John, Heart-Wrenching Angst) – I tell myself that next time I’ll come near this same place again. Wait around for the mysterious stranger in his coat to dash past me, hot on the heels of a new criminal in black. I think this all the way back to my Exit, planning where I’ll wait and what I’ll say when I see him. Scheming on how to get his name. It’s only once I reach the Exit Point door that I realize two hours and forty-five minutes have passed, and I realize that this won’t be the last time I Visit. It won’t be the last time at all.

The Curious Adventure of the Drs. Watson by ShinySherlock (M, 40,883 w., 14 Ch. || BBC & ACD Fusion || Victorianlock, Time Travel / Magical Realism, Friends to Lovers, Love and Kissing, Romance, Body Swap) – What if ACD Watson and BBC Watson switched places...  “Imposter!” Hands clenching the lapels of John’s coat, Holmes shoved him anew. “Yes!” John agreed, nodding, and then grimacing. “Sort of!”

There's Someone On Your Shoulder by halloa_what_is_this (NR, 41,215 w., 6 Ch. || Pining Sherlock, Introspection, Daydreams, Sherlock Loves John So Much it Hurts) – Sherlock trips and falls head over heels in love, makes a lot of lists and stares, stares, stares.

The Semantics of Crop Circle Formation: a case study by Sherlock Holmes [unpublished] bycanolacrush (M, 41,710 w., 9 Ch. || Sherlock POV, Aliens, Wordplay, Casefic) – “Look at these photographs,” I said, gesturing to the wall of crop circles. “What do you observe?”“Crop circles,” John replied.“Obvious. What else?”“Are…are those intestines surrounding them?” “Yes. The majority are bovine and ovine in origin. The farmers who have acquired these crop circles in their fields have also had a tenth of their livestock murdered and arranged thus.” “Why?” John said, presumably in a rhetorical fashion. I detest rhetorical questions. “That is what I must find out, John.”

Resistivity and Relative Charge by liriodendron (E, 41,770 w., 8 Ch. || Synesthesia, Angst, Case Fic, Romance, Est. Rel., Homophobia, Religious Content, Victor Trevor, Mild Jealous John, Mild John Whump) – In which Sherlock Holmes meets an old acquaintance, John Watson doesn't enjoy a trip to the country quite as much as he thought he would, and the past absolutely refuses to stay where it belongs. Part 3 of Conductivity

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn, Infidelity, Mary is Not Nice) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

In the Still of the Night by SilentAuror (E, 42,234 w., 1 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post-S4, Sherlock POV, Angst, Drama, Romance, Virgin Sherlock, Awkwardness, Misunderstandings / Miscommunications, Case Fic, Travelling, Pining) – As locals on the Northeastern coast begin to report UFO sightings, life at Baker Street becomes significantly awkward as John brings up his desire for more than friendship and Sherlock refuses him. They embark on the investigation from the confines of the tiny cottage Mycroft has rented for them, attempting to navigate both the clues of the case as well as their own inability to communicate...

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Bloody But Unbowed by BeautifulFiction (E, 43,211 w., 8 Ch. || Abduction, John Whump, Mild Torture, Background Case Fic, Friends to Lovers, Post-TRF / S3 Rewrite, Hurt/Comfort) – When a familiar argument threatens to destroy the last remnants of John and Sherlock's failing friendship, both men are left questioning their worth to one another. Before either of them has the chance to make amends, circumstance intervenes. John is left at the mercy of his abductors, and this time, he's not sure Sherlock will bother coming to his rescue.

The Soul Remembers by i_ship_an_armada (E, 43,636 w., 10 Ch. || Oblivion AU || Post-Apocalypse, Movie Fusion, Science Fiction, Action/Adventure, Angst, Dreams, Bittersweet Ending) – John Watson is the lone security repairman stationed on a desolate, nearly-ruined future Earth. His dreams are plagued by a tall, dark-haired man, and when his dreams meet reality, he will be forced to question everything he believes is the truth about his life.

The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, 44,025 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, UST, Homophobia, Friends to Lovers) – Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants in the course of a case.

Sentenced by SarahKnight (T, 44,777 w., 30 Ch. || Dev. Rel., Alternate S4 Canon, Drama, Angst, Pining, Feelings are Hard) – Virtual series 4 opener. Sherlock's in prison being targeted by a murderer, John's married to a pregnant assassin and Moriarty's back.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

The Real Great Perfumers by shelleysprometheus (E, 45,355 w., 68 Ch. || Case Fic, Alternating POV, Gay Sherlock / Bi John, Canon Compliant with Divergence at TRF, Friends to Lovers, Oral / Anal, Pining, First Kiss / Time, Dev. Rel., Drugging, Body Worship, Bathing, Love Confessions, Travelling, Bottomlock, Cranky Sherlock, BJ’s, Alternating POV, Jealous John) – The case, this case. This extraordinary, fascinating, scintillating case. A house. Designed entirely by its eccentric owner, built by no less than five hundred expert tradesmen in the heart of Marrakesh. A house that had, seemingly not only driven its owner out, but also to his quite unpleasant death. And a perfumer, a chemist no less, the very thought of the secrets that house could reveal, would reveal was irresistible. Sherlock had to have this case ... and it seems, he also had to have John! Part 1 of the Forethought and Fire series

Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, 47,709 w., 12 Ch. || Casefic, Fluff, Romance, Frottage) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results.

The Norwood Love Builders by flawedamythyst (T, 47,798 w., 9 Ch. || Fake Relationship, Slow Burn, Post TRF Angst) – Sherlock and John go undercover to solve the murder of Joanna Oldacre, but things are complicated by the many feelings John has been repressing in the wake of Sherlock's faked death and return.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w., 84 Ch. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most.An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.(This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

Holmes is where the heart is by Rose de Sharon (T, 49,636 w., 13 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Post-TRF, Reunion Fic, Bromance, Empty House Inspired, Adventure) – Three years after the Reichenbach Fall. On the anniversary of Sherlock's death, John pays a visit at 221 B Baker Street… and he gets the shock of his life.

Bedroom Tales by Junejuly15 (M, 49,950 w., 22 Ch. || Friends to Lovers, Through the Years, H/C, Military Kink, First Kiss / Time, Romance, Insecure Sherlock, Voyeurism, Post-TRF, Ficlets, Fluff and Angst, Fix-It Fics) – Bedroom Tales is a collection of John and Sherlock ficlets. They are set at various stages of their relationship and are in no particular order. Some are fluffy, some sexy, some angsty, there is hurt and comfort, romance and love. What unites them is that they all play in a bedroom, but not necessarily the one in 221B.

A Love with No Name Series by aceofhearts61 (M, 49,955 w. across 20 fics || Ace!Sherlock / Straight!John, Queerplatonic Relationship, Cuddling/Snuggling, Soulmates, Caretaking, Platonic Romance) – In which Asexual!Sherlock and Straight!John are platonically in love life partners.

[daesungindistress]

A message I received today (she wanted it published):

“Hi! I was browsing the bigbang tag here when i found your account and I had a pretty interesting evening reading your blog! Imagine my surprise when I found out you were the RcA of carnivores...... i was surprised then not at all because I remember writing you a monstrously long review then you replying me with an even longer reply XD In that spirit, I shall give my 2 cents

i saw your various posts about seungrigate, in particular the hyungline's prophecizing abilities. To preface this, I don't support Seungri and I'm not a OT5 stan but I think these videos, while chilling to watch in the aftermath of seungrigate events, have become overblown in some sort of Bigbang history revisionism

The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone. Similar reasoning to every other incidence of 'prophecizing' the hyungs did. If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.

At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.

I think its comforting to think the signs were always there, that the hyungs warned him but he didn't listen, that their relationships were fraught because of the whole Seungri never eats with us memes, that he was never a good person and he showed it all along but the fans shoved their head under the sand. But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.

Seungri wasn't the only one who skipped out on dinners- TOP had that habit before Seungri, and i think it was even mentioned in Healing Camp (the whole gold medal thing). Seungri did like and love his hyungs unless he was the world's best actor. He talked Jiyong through things in 2009 when Jiyong read the comments asking him to comment suicide and cried on phone. He cried on Jiyong for 20 minutes in 2012 because he was disappointed in a hyung he idolized letting him down with the marijuana scandal. He texted Daesung within one minute on that Japanese show when he said he needed help, and cheered him up when he was dying of nerves before his concert. He saved Todae from getting hit by fireworks in Malaysia by physically hauling them away. When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist. The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too. This is NOT a defence of Seungri, I just think there's been a lot of revisionism going on lately, about his character and his relationship with the band. Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake.

i remember feeling very grateful when Seungri showed up in Act 3 Motte and hugged Jiyong and Jiyong smiled for the first time in that whole damn tour. Jiyong loved that boy, and mentioned he was family to him so many times. Jiyong was the most attached to Seungri IMO (I guess since they were roommates back then and all), but Taeyang called him up in the military when he only had one call, forgoing his own damn wife. I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

***

Do you know how many asks it would have taken to get this message to me had you gone that route after all? LOL, alright, here’s my reply (some of which will be behind a cut to save y’all’s dashboards). I’ll quote the parts I want to address in italics.

“The truth is, if GD really thought Seungri was going to go to jail, or had any side illegal activities, he definitely wouldn't have aired his views in front of cameras, in a DVD recording available to everyone.”

That's what we all thought too... and that's why we didn't take any of it seriously and casually wrote most of it off as jokes, bullying, teasing, playing, etc. And while I'm sure it was that in a way, at least in part, you know what they say: there's a grain of truth in every joke (or "a little bit of truth behind every 'just kidding'").

Many fans are also taking this as a sign of how serious the others were becoming in their warnings to him, as if they felt it was the only way to get through to him. I'm sure they had private conversations off-camera, but if they were williing to do it publicly? On national TV? (Radio Star, for example.) That appears to say something about the weight of their concerns and their attempts to reach him. (Also keep in mind that they've said they rarely saw him outside of band activities, that he was always running off as soon as events with them had ended, so who knows... maybe they felt that on camera was the only real chance they had to catch him and address him in person. Maybe they felt like it was the only way he would listen. So many maybes.)

Another thing: TOP's rather astute comments about Seungri's friends (that they seemed like bad people, that they were using him, that they weren't his true friends but were only attracted to his fame, etc)... I personally would not have said those things where the public could hear them were I in his position. There's nothing joking about it, nothing at all. He was very direct in his delivery and it was not something that could be laughed away even if you tried.

“If the hyungs really suspected Seungri's club was out drugging and raping women, the stupidest way to have resolved it would have been to take it to TV. Not to mention how suddenly chilling it is if the hyungs actually did know and were complicit in the crimes, which I feel like a lot of these prophecy video retweeters don't consider.”

Okay everyone, listen up. This is important. In all these videos being referenced by fans in recent days, it's not possible that the hyungs were hinting at the drugging and assault that occurred at "Seungri's club" (I still hesitate to call it that) because Burning Sun did not yet exist when these things were being said. The club Burning Sun opened in February 2018. The last time BB were together as a group (as four -- GD, YB, Daesung, Seungri) was during their Japan Dome Tour in December 2017. And TOP? January 2017.

(read the rest behind the cut)

Further information: GD enlisted in late February 2018 and YB & Daesung enlisted less then a month later in mid March. Burning Sun opened in February 2018 and closed a year later in February 2019 during Burning Sun gate. The videos floating around in which the hyungs appear to warn Seungri come primarily from their 2017 Welcoming Collection (filmed in late 2016), Run BIGBANG Scout (shot in summer 2016), and from various concerts and fanmeetings throughout 2016-2017.

It is true that people do need to be very cautious when speculating about just how much the others knew about what Seungri & Co got up to, seeing as how, when it comes to this type of crime, awareness of the crime can be quite damning in and of itself. But once you take these dates into account, I think the others should be fairly safe from that kind of dangerous speculation. The question then becomes, how much did they know about what Seungri & Co got up to in their own time?

That I’m not overly worried about. They made it quite clear on several occasions that they hated his friends. Why would they have had any involvement with them? And it’s difficult to imagine Seungri inviting them in, so to speak, knowing how they were always scolding him for one thing or another. The way I see it, he found his own flock and kept a tight formation. Birds of a feather and all that.

“At best, they thought (and I too thought at that time) that Seungri was maybe making bad money decisions, Lee Sangmin style.”

This is the assumption most fans seem to be going with. Additionally, they may have had some ideas about his treatment of women as well, especially taking into account his 2012 sex scandal with a Japanese woman in which he allegedly choked her during sex, never kissed her, and threw a towel at her when he was done (and after which Youngbae and Daesung moved in with him, evidently to keep an eye on him and help set him straight. I don’t know how much truth there is to this, but I’ve read that he seemed proud in the scandal’s aftermath because hey, people were finally viewing him as an adult. Talk about embracing one's bad boy image.)

On that note: if he was in fact proud of himself for getting caught up in a sex scandal back then because he felt like it made him more of a man, then what must he be feeling now? Bearing in mind the influence of his less-than-reputable friend group of the last few years? He's currently under suspicion of hooking up with prostitutes and offering them to his investors to grow his business, among other things. The public is calling him a pimp (not totally accurate but ok). His conduct lately is not that of a person who feels he's done anything wrong. He might even feel a little, well... pleased with himself. Hence that small but self-satisfied grin he's been wearing everywhere lately.

Hmm... Just some thoughts.

“But to characterize him as a 2D villain so that we don't have to struggle to reconcile the person we idolized before, and the crimes he's accused of now is only a disservice to us.”

I’m sorry you see it this way because that's not my intent at all. My goal is not to paint him as a villain but to simply show that the signs of trouble were there and to suggest that perhaps we shouldn't be as surprised as we are about recent revelations. That this isn't really coming at us -- or at the rest of BB for that matter -- completely out of the blue. I don't know about you, but I find that comforting. Understanding what went wrong and when helps me to better come to terms with what's happened here, and I've been hearing from quite a few others lately who say it's helped them too. It also reinforces my confidence in OT4′s ability to carry on, because if they expected him to leave them in the near future, it stands to reason that they had been mentally and emotionally readying themselves for it. We the fans are hurting enough; the last thing I want right now is for the members of BB to be hurting too.

I'm also hope my readers don’t think I’m suggesting that Seungri was never a good person or never did anything good for anyone. That’s not it at all. Nothing is ever that black and white. I won’t forget them or try to erase them, it’s just that right now I'm not very interested in reflecting on the “good times”... and I think most would agree. Those acts of kindness you're referencing in 2009, 2011, 2012, 2013... you might have noticed that I've been focusing on conversations between the guys that took place in 2016 onward. Between MADE era and the present day. Alive era, Tonight era... I'm not interested in examining those years, because I'm concentrating on the period of time after Seungri met his new circle of friends (Jung Joonyoung, Choi Jonghoon, Yoo In Suk, etc) and began spending more time with them than with the rest of BB. I'm certainly not implying that Seungri was always this way, but I do believe he had the potential to become it given the right -- or should I say wrong influences. And he found those influences. Or should I say they found him?

Now, this is just speculation, but BB's popularity exploded immensely during Alive in 2012.  After that the members of BB went their separate ways for a time to work on solo projects. They came together periodically for YG family tours, I know that much, but it wasn't until MADE in 2015 that they were promoting as five again. It can probably be assumed that it was during that absence when Seungri ~fell in with this bad crowd~ (I hate to use that phrase because it seems to absolve him of responsibility for his actions, but let’s just go with it for a sec). I suspect the sharp rise in fame went to his head and he became... let’s just say susceptible.

(If there are any Seungri stans still here, feel free to correct me if I'm wrong about the timeline or chime in with additional info. My knowledge of what the members were up to between Alive and MADE is pretty murky, seeing as I wasn't "there" for it in real time.)

“When TOP was represented by a tower in variety shows, Seungri blatantly mentioned his name in Radio Star when everyone pretended he didn't exist.”

Someone brought this up in an ask that I haven't answered (sorry anon!). While it's entirely possible that he did this out of the goodness of his own heart, it's also possible that he did it because he knew it was what the fans wanted... and Seungri is nothing if not good at giving people what they want. It might not have had anything to do with TOP's feelings at all. I also wonder if YB calling him while in the military may have been done more out of concern than affection -- i.e., checking in on him to make sure he stayed out of trouble.

...and that's if Seungri's story is even to be believed, i.e., "He called me instead of his wife, can you believe it?!" Seungri is not above using the others to draw eyes to himself and prop up his own popularity (as he did when he name dropped GD constantly during his Great Seungri promotions), and given the others' comments about him exaggerating and even flat-out making up stories that haven’t a shred of truth for attention... just saying I wouldn't put anything past him at this point.

“The kid we knew existed. It's just that there was another, more insidious side to him too.”

That's really all it boils down to. Although I don't much care for calling him a "kid" anymore. I know he likes to play up the cute maknae role and all when it benefits him, but it's never sat well with me because, well... dude's a grown man, and calling him "kid" in light of recent events feels very wrong. That "kid" image is long gone, and I say good riddance. (For the record, I don't much like it when the others go all aegyo on each other either; with them now in their late 20s - early 30s, I have to say it's gotten a little weird.)

“Seungri is a shitty criminal, but sadly a criminal who did love his hyungs and fans in some way. Not everything that happened in the last 12 years is fake. ... I think, the truly heartbreaking thing about this, is that Seungri was loved by his hyungs, and he did love his hyungs too.”

I believe in... their love for him to varying degrees. Some were closer than others, of course. This is why, in a previous post, I said that I won't be surprised if some of them decide to stay in Seungri's life as a positive influence behind the scenes. However, at the same time, I won't be surprised if they choose not to. The thing is, you can still remain friends with someone but recognize that the two of you just don't work well together anymore in a, well, work environment. The bonds of friendship are important, yes, but as I think we've seen lately... it isn't everything.

With what we know now, I believe that the tension we've seen building between Seungri and the other members over the last few years was rooted in Seungri losing his passion for music as his obsession with wealth and power took over. Greed got the best of him. And I’m sure he was frustrated; there were things he wanted from Big Bang that Big Bang could not give him.

Although his hyungs surely still cared for him, more or less, I can see why in the last few years they may have been uncomfortable continuing to work with him if they felt that he was staying for all the wrong reasons. If you're going to be part of a group of artists like this one, it helps with group morale, to be confident in the knowledge that you all share a common interest and are working toward a common goal. If the others' goal was in expressing themselves through their craft -- music and dance -- and connecting with the fans through their work, while Seungri saw it primarily as a means to an end (i.e., "It's just a paycheck") then yeah. I'd have found myself getting pretty irritated with him too.

In the end, you can care for someone and still distance yourself from them, for an abundance of reasons. I think many of us have been there with loved ones ourselves... and I believe that's what we're going to see happen in the coming months when the others come back. Hell, it's been happening for years right under our noses; the difference now is they don't have to try to hide it anymore.

[worddonor]

Purpose, part 1.

My search for purpose began with my search for truth.

I've always been asking why for as long as I can remember. Being pre-occupied with those around me has been a chink in my armour, one of many indeed, but one that has caused me to dig deep into finding a reason for my existence as I've always felt ill-at-ease on this planet (as if there's another planet I'd be better suited to be on, lol) that and years of inner turmoil, has led me back to the only place that could provide me with what I believe are the answers that align with the principles of the universe.

The owners manual for my life produced by the manufacturer of me.

The new revelations began slowly revealing themselves in earnest after having miraculously made it through varsity and attaining my diploma (taking an extra year to finish). I knew I had given as much as I could, but deep down wasn't completely sure I would make it even on the second go around - I had ticked all the boxes and showed up despite wanting to throw in the towel many times on projects (which is more than I could say for the previous year in which I had failed the core module). I was offered a room in a spacious apartment really close to campus with two other roommates attending classes at other campuses close by which I nervously took (I had been driving through to campus from home about 60-odd km's one way [around 39 miles] for the first 3 years).

In that time I had my Bible with me, received as a gift two years prior, which I read occasionally. What I did that I still remember now was giving thanks everyday in the morning when I woke up. It was the first time living on my own away from my family - I missed them terribly. When you're at the point of not knowing where to turn you tend to cry out to whatever's out there, if anything and for me that was God (the previous year I had been wondering if what I was raised to believe was complete b-s, reading alternative material and questioning life).

Always questioning.

What I believe made all the difference were the prayers I said every morning waking up there, the prayers of gratitude. I would wake up with knots in my belly, but after eventually wrestling my body out of bed, making myself some oats and coffee and while watching the morning breakfast show on the blurry box TV, I'd give thanks to the Lord for all I was grateful for. I truly believe it made the biggest difference, I made it through by the skin of my teeth in the core module that year (literally a pass on the dot) and did well with the other subjects.

After that my faith was bolstered, even if ever so slightly. The following year I took off having made the decision at the end of the previous year to donate a kidney to my older sister (she fell ill when I was in second year and spent the next three years on various forms of dialysis [there was a time we weren't sure she'd make it as a result of bleeding on the brain with the strokes she suffered that possibly caused the kidney failure]). A battery of tests were done to ensure I was healthy and met the criteria. When the operation was carried out I had just turned 25 the previous month, the minimum age recommended at that time.

The operation was a success, the organ was accepted which was another incredible faith booster though even after that immense blessing I found myself questioning who I was aside from an auxiliary being. I fantasized on the darker days about what it would've been like had I given up the ghost on the operating table and what a grand exit that would've been had I left then. I know, pretty gloomy.

To counter that: on an incredibly upbeat side note, my sister is doing so well six years on and the little organ is too - she is back to her bubbly self and her recovery: a true miracle from where she was and a testament to excellent doctors (of course), but even more so: the wonders of 'ridiculous' faith by her and all those praying for her. How could it not be the creator's hand?

Towards the end of that year after my recovery period the job hunt began that lead me to my first job the following year. The doubting surfaced again and I wondered if anyone would ever hire me after a couple of months of searching (self-doubt bru, avoid like the plague), I initially tried for an internship outside of my field of study (in something I researched briefly in high school that I wanted to try then), but wasn't accepted after the second interview round. I always seemed to get through when my writing was doing the convincing, but as soon as I was face-to-face: that's usually when the wheels fell off. I made it through the initial screening, got given a test project which they were satisfied with (which I believe was the main selling point), I made it to the interview proper (I left a tad early on the day [distance to site coincidentally 60-odd km's one way from home], followed the directions given to me, but stopped on the side of the road not far from my destination thinking I was lost [doubting again] when all I had to do was continue on the path I was on which I did and arrived on time) despite feeling like I had fluffed that too (and secretly wondering if I was the only one that pitched for an interview if they were offering ME the job), was offered the job so I took it. I was even offered more than I asked for.

Before the initial screening I prayed like a mad man and got to that venue on time, no issues and the lady was really friendly. While doing the project, I battled inner demons, but sent the project through with a few more prayers for good measure and got to the interview stage. Before the interview I said a few more prayers and even though my voice might've let me down - my work spoke for me and the Lord I'm sure worked His magic too.

My faith bolstered again as I, honest to Jesus, was literally doubting if anyone would hire me for any job after interviewing me.

Can you see a pattern forming? Lol.

Over the years I've been searching my soul pretty deeply (as the earlier posts and poetry in this blog can attest) while on this job and have discovered the things about it I enjoy and the things I don't. The lightbulb moments relating to my search for purpose started going off when I accidentally stumbled upon the teachings of a certain preacher and teacher by the name of Dr Myles Munroe. My father showed me a video clip of an interview conducted with him after it appeared on the news that he had passed away along with his wife in a freak plane crash, this was in November 2014. I researched him further and he revealed scripture in a new light to me in a way I had never heard before through his teachings, suddenly here I knew deep down were the answers to truth and purpose I had been yearning for and praying about for ages before I had listened to them. Revealing the analogies of an acorn and an oak tree relating to the Lord having created you with everything you'd ever need in your life to flourish already contained within you. And about the most valuable place on earth being the graveyard: the place where all the unfulfilled dreams and incompleted projects lie. To think all this wisdom came from a man I had never known about before hearing first of his death.

So strange, but in that the clues to what legacy is truly about - what will you leave behind when you die?

I digress.

The Lord's gentle coaxing and the events that followed thereafter over time led to me getting baptised on the 20th of March 2016.

2015 was a tumultuous year, with two people leaving in my department in the first half of the year, though saved by the arrival of what I believe to have been an undercover angel in the second half.

I must admit after coming back from an epic holiday at the top end of 2016, my interest in drawing closer to Jesus was further spurred on by my sister asking if I wanted to join her in becoming an official member of our church by taking weekly classes which we then completed.

This led me to make that official commitment that would kill all the doubt in my heart and mind I held for years prior about whether I was or wasn't truly a saved follower of Christ. I had always been so afraid before to do it, of making that public declaration, I wanted to, but kept delaying and used to beat myself up when I didn't act. The night before I decided and the following morning I felt a peace in my heart so I stuck to my decision through the service and asked my mother if she'd be willing to join me: it was only her and a few others also getting baptised present that day. She was in tears after. It's also a date I remember easily as it is an old varsity friend's birthday (she's a believer too, though I've lost contact with her and we haven't spoken since maybe 2012 - we were close for the time we were studying together - hope she's good wherever she is...).

That was a good year and got me bold enough to begin planning an overseas trip to see my cousin in 2017 in Vegas which I did (woohoo!). I even explored my writing more in 2016 and attended a creative writing course over a number of weeks offered at our church which got the writing bug going in earnest in me thereafter.

2017 wasn't without its hills and valleys with more deep conversations on lift club trips and more goodbyes as seasons ended and new ones began, some new faces descended on the scene. The year ended off on a high and my faith was built up even more as my prayers for each step of my planning for my trip took shape and I was blessed with smooth sailing there and back after numerous prayers thrown up, naturally.

The lingering questions and doubts were always there and still are. I never let my faith go despite its smallness and my church attendance became something I found hard to let slide and I became a regular after taking that big step two years back.

This year began with a few heavy knocks in quick succession though and these changes hit the hardest as the preceding months were some of the best I had ever enjoyed on the job since the boys club months of early 2014 (lol) after the first few lonely months of being the first person in the new department years ago. The best and most productive times were when there was a team. This seemingly long winter period since the mass exodus (it's a story, it could do with a touch of drama man) has brought with it some intense introspection and greater prayer and even fasting which I had never attempted before over the period of one month (initiated about 5 months back). When the awesome people left, I wondered what was left for me where I was - I agonised and still do question where to next for me. This time has brought me even closer to Jesus than ever before - I have found myself yearning so much I have even begun listening to only worship music and just a certain radio station and only listening to YouTube sermons (OK and some car vids - forgive me, those are still my secret passion). I've started to lean so heavily on the Lord I believe it's stretched my faith to the greatest degree it's ever been stretched as we haven't been able to attract new talent to the office until I got some news about a new person and some new ways of approaching our situation this last Friday.

All this leads me to some books I purchased a week ago today: first - Dr Caroline Leaf's "Think, Learn, Succeed" and another book I've had on my online store wishlist for a long time that my sister wanted to buy for me so I ended up getting it as well: Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Life" which is the new expanded edition.

These books bring me to part 2 of this story...

[nchyinotes]

Criminology Seminar Series - From Corporate Killing to Social Murder

March 1 2018

https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/criminology-seminar-series-from-corporate-killing-to-social-murder-tickets-37941422817

Speaker: Professor Steve Tombs (Department of Social Policy & Criminology, Open University)

“Corporations kill in a variety of ways across diverse sites and spheres of activity. Such killing is ubiquitous, routine and widespread – notwithstanding formal attempts by states to prevent and respond to such deaths. Focusing on a sub-set of such deaths in the UK, and state attempts to regulate these, this paper argues that these should be understood as state-corporate violence, best captured by the term ‘social murder’. Grenfell Tower has come to represent many things to many people since the tragic fire on 14th June. Prior to that date, the Tower was a home to hundreds of residents – if not, according to some of them, a particularly pleasant one. The aim of this presentation is two-fold: first, to understand the reach of states and corporations into what is often represented as a private sphere, namely the home; and, second, to better understand the mass killing at Grenfell Tower, and the ripples of harms subsequently engendered, as phenomena produced by state-corporate policy and practices.”

Thoughts: Although I was obviously aware of the Grenfell Tower happenings, I hadn’t done any in depth reading or research into it, and definitely had not analysed it from a criminological lens. Gave great background information for me to learn about what actually happened, which highlighted the horrendous failings of a state to its people, and all the different harms that the victims suffered. We touched a bit on corporate manslaughter in my final year criminology module, so it was interesting on an academic level to analyse this tragedy within the framework of corporate killing or social murder, and awareness of other examples that it brought up. It was a real shame that there weren’t many people there, because it was 100% worth going to. I attended this lecture on my birthday, and it was a great way to spend my birthday imho (Funny side story - I was walking back home in a very somber mood kind of lost in thought about this, when I found one of my friends waiting outside my apartment and I was really confused. Turns out my friends and sister had planned a surprise birthday party at my flat LOL, so that was cute too!).

Notes

Critical criminology, corporate / white collar crime

Activists working for better work conditions

Experiences of survivors/residents - not based on direct contact with; not necessary in this case because massive testimonies in public domain (verbatim testimony)

Value free social science - an illusion? Not value free, politically charged.

Different ways we can look/think at it, they’re not mutually exclusive, in fact it’s all of these things.

Grenfell tower in context

1) One of the poorest places sitting in one of the richest areas

Constituency of kensington is the wealthiest in England

RBKC is the most unequal borough in England, since 2010 the inequality has widened (Coad) - by 2017, difference in life expectancy is 22 years (and this had increased 6 years)

Grenfell Tower + Kings Road LSOA (lower super output area)

2) Fractious relationship between social housing residents across Borough and the KCTMO [set up to at an arms length manage council housing]

Conjecture / opinion: Having edificies like grenfell tower + their inhabitants is a bummer because they’re barriers to gentrification. What they what is to cleanse the borough of the poor residents.

Grenfell Action Group formed in 2010 as a way of articulating / furthering rights of residents at tower, and joined Unite Community (part of the trade union) in 2015 during refurbishment

Dangerous nature of refurbishment of tower - KCTMOs decision to replace zinc cladding with cheaper aluminum panels [more flammable], saving 293k pounds

Grenfell Action Group blog post: KCTMO - Playing with Fire! (predicted 7 months before the tragedy!)

It was the cladding which contained the fire inside the inferno

Grenfell as crime (?) - yes

Can we think of what happened there as a crime?

1. Serial killer - Whirlpool

Portrait of a serial killer [Whirlpool Corporation HQ or Hot Point?? in Benton Harbor, Michigan]

Produces electrical / hot point / dryers ??

Found out something was wrong - faulty machines? Advised you just not to leave them unattended? No product recall, compensation was offered.

→ “Shepherd’s Bush tower block fire caused by faulty tumble dryer”

Still no recall, compensation, replacement

Consumer groups have been saying not to use plastic bags for electrical goods cause they’re flammable

Trigger of Grenfell was a plastic bag fridge freezer in the native hot point

1) All Party Select committee last October - slipped out by rep of Whirlpool that they knew about defects of tumble dryer in 2006. They were selling dryers which could catch fire and kill people for 9 years before they owned up to it.

2) Information requests -- 10 deaths, 100s of serious injuries, in 10 year period associated with white goods, 50%+ were associated with hot goods

Grenfell is just another series of deaths by them

Lots of attention on residents & management, some attention on contractors, but

Whirlpool basically got off scot free

2. Corporate Manslaughter and Homicide Act - isn’t fit for purpose?

10 years after the act, only 1 medium sized company has been prosecuted

Police claim they have about 35M documents to process on way to passing charges to CPS, last year they claimed worked through about 100k

Any charges won’t be until 2019, and generally any charges under the Act have taken 3-4 years

3. Health and Safety and/or FIre Safety legislation

2009 Similar precedent / different consequences - Southwark, 6 people died. Not sufficient evidence to proceed with (manslaughter) charge.

Southwark Council fined 650k under ^^

4. Will the prosecutions achieve justice?

Many survivors just want the crime to be considered a real crime - on par with others.

Trend in 21 successful prosecutions is: deals with individual senior managers to let them off the hook, to plead guilty for corporations.

No justice against individual people.

If successful for health and safety, it’s a fine. And the money is largely through the council (tax) / residents. So the people most hit by any fine will be the poorest residents of the borough.

Don’t repare the harms

Grenfell as social harm - via various dimensions (harms produced)

Social harm captures chains of processes or states of affairs rather than merely acts. Captures all the dimensions (ripples, synergistic, cumulative + long term effects)

Physical harms

deaths

injury (burns, head, fractures)

ill health (exposure to hydrogen cyanide & asbestos - made light of, smoke inhalation)

exacerbation of existing health problems (more dependent on drugs/alcohol; chronic conditions with those impoverished - type II diabetes, chronic heart disease, childhood obesity - no control over diet in temp housing)

Emotional / psychological harms

Survivors

Grief at loss - people, pets, possessions

Recall of horrors

Guilt at survival (self harm, suicide attempts)

Being rehoused in another high rise accommodation

For local community

Constant visibility of the tower - what the means/does to them

Emergency service workers

Other communities

Living in high rise accommodation with the same/similar cladding [to be removed] - in fear of their lives (living in limbo)

Cultural / relational harms

Relocation and loss of networks [what makes life worth living? When they need it the most] - lack of access

Bare existence of temporary accommodation - no piece of mind, waiting, uncertainty - obscure experiences

Death as a result of cost-cutting and contempt (Imogen tyler: “social objection”)

Most powerful cultural harm

Their voices were not listened to by council or management

They know their friends burnt, as it happened, because they didn’t matter

For 200k cost saving, in the richest borough

Election year: The council gave rebates to top earners, sold off 2 estates for over 4M

Lack of national and local state response

Contempt was reinforced

People had to self organise (in response)

Delays, broken promises, half truths and lies

Contempt again reinforced by ^ to survivors

Eg. rehousing, chair of inquiry, home office ‘amnesty’

→ Contempt which caused the fire is the contempt that the survivors continue to be treated with

Financial and economic harm

Financial costs to households

Costs to RBKC (plus legal costs, fines) - and thus to local tax payers

??

Grenfell as social murder - in context of a (systematic) withdrawal of social protection

Grenfell as state-sanctioned violence?

Part of the withdrawal of a system of social protection - constructed since the 1830s

Deregulation and lack of enforcement from (2004) 2010 onwards, especially at local level.

Eg. numbers of inspections decreased dramatically: in health and safety at work, food safety, pollution control, fire safety

Which was put in place to mitigate the worst effects of profit making in early days of industrial capitalism

Or to prevent, as Engels (1969) called it, social murder

Social murder is the consequence of withdrawing social protection

Questions

Greatest example of corporate murder: (Bopar) India, 1984 - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhopal_disaster

Also - flint water crisis

http://time.com/4188323/michael-moore-flint-racial-crime/

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/02/12/here-are-the-stunning-social-costs-of-the-flint-water-crisis/?utm_term=.86a634877060

Appropriate response?

Redress isn’t to be found through the law?

Workers health & safety will not be guaranteed in retrospective application of the law

Won’t change the fact that council doesn’t want those residents in the first place

Will be guaranteed by empowering workers collectively, through trade union organisation.

Relationship between state + companies?

Companies operating in more than one local authority - claim they never knew what compliance meant?

Primary authority scheme (by Blair) - it can reach a contractual agreement with one authority for it to be its primary. What happens is that newcastle city council becomes a buffer that protects Greggs from enforcement in all other areas.

Really important bc companies have lobbied for it, and totally changes the structurally shifts the balance of power

Market enforcement ? because lucrative for councils [ like the Amazon thing]

Whirlpool has been protected by its local council all these years

Esoteric piece of law?

Only reason it’s enforced is because of insurance companies?

Is the state / corporate bodies something that can be used progressively?

State undertaking limited functions on behalf of citizenry

While states can provide greater/less protections, and some contexts can be more/less harmful

Still in context of capitalism - individuals are more or less valuable commodities

The only way to stop corporate crime is to abolish the corporation (which is a criminogenic entity created and supported by the capitalist state)

Diane vaughan analysis of the challenger ??

They didn’t want to murder them, they just didn’t care about them

[alottamoney]

Lisa anon here.You are not a cynic.Two third of the army thinks whatever they see on Tv, whatever bh says is the ultimate truth. This is the most bizarre phenomenon that maybe is as close to a cult as I have seen so far.Even nature documentaries are rearranged for giving suspense and dramatic shots.But an entertainment company that makes money by dancing,singing and putting out reality content wouldn't because they made pinky promise.Okay.

Why Jungkook chose Jimin is simple.Why Jimin filled the gap that taekook apparently left out is even simpler.It is because 1. Jimin wanted to. 2. There was an opportunity for career growth. Jimin is a clout chaser.If being bff with a goat would get him to the peak, you would see everywhere "Jimin bff with goat". In early years of bts Tae was popular.He hung out with Tae.Then he was teamed with Taekook.Then from 2017 when Tae fell out of favour with bh,Jimin was with JK.A lot can be said regarding Jimin's primary goal and how it changed with each era, how his ambition changed, and it really deserves a post on its own. Him always putting bts first no matter what,ride or die,shows he can't separate himself from bts to the point that he doesn't want other members to do it too.He will stand against them if they moved against BTS.He has mentioned he cut off close friends because they were speaking bad about the member/s.In early 2018 he and JK publicly teamed up to peer pressure Tae I think because Tae was really reconsidering renewing his contract.He knew if Tae goes,JK will go too.At the outset of that year that was supposed to happen.Tae wanted to leave.No one had any major problem.But when Kookie wanted to leave that was when everyone went mental.Only Suga supported them unconditionally.The texts that only the two got.Jin mentioned Kookie would stay in his room all day in 2018 and shut himself in.Tae left the house in 2018 February.JK has lived with Tae from 2011.I think I don't need to emphasize how big of a shock that was to JK.He grasped at anything to cope.He completely changed his persona.He was on medication probably.I say this because this sudden surge of confidence,chanting this mantra of I love myself,I am happy over and over again, these were completely,and I mean completely opposite of JK up until even January 2018.Jimin actually listened to him at that time.He in the beginning helped Tae get to JK in 2016.After that due to bh interference, jimin and JK became bff more than Vmin.That period wasn't the problem.The problem started in 2018 when V realized Jimin was tending to his interest first and JK was embroiled in it.Jikook had a symbiotic relationship without knowing.

Jungkook wants Tae like he is oxygen and this is not funny.He really can't think straight if they are not close anymore.He has found a father,lover,brother,mentor everything in Tae and this dependence got a reality check when Tae moved out.He tried to fill that with Jimin's affection for a time.He really tried moving away from that emotional dependence.This is complete conjecture but I think JK spilled secrets to Jimin that he shouldn't have about Tae and taekook because that's how introverts roll.When they are close with someone that's where all their secrets go.That's why I think it's not a Jimin problem.He is an independent agent working for his goal with whatever resource is available to him.It is a jungkook problem.If Jimin is not there to listen to him, he will look for other distractions.He needs to fill up that gaping void where Tae resides during good times.

I agree taekook is not the sort to discuss.People came in too late in the fandom.Taekook have done a lot of early relationship courting behavior in 2013- 2014 when they were very young.After 2015 they were not in the stage of figuring out if they liked each other.They knew they liked each other since 2015.People are wrong when they try to find signs of liking in 2020.They are over and done with all of that now they have hit the boring phase but they keep it exciting nevertheless.

I want to mention something interesting.There is a lot of talk about how JK's stare at Tae is not special because he stares at everyone.But this is the only pair where one involved(Tae) gestures the other(JK) to look away and stop looking.This has happened multiple times.Snowwhite Tae behind the scene,before spine breaker mv shooting,in one of the US interviews with Hoseok in between.

The memories 2020 segment that I described,and the almost kissing scene should confirm to people that Jimin does things to his own end.No he is not coming in between taekook.But he was mocking Tae. Taekook cannot act that way in public.If Jimin still did that gimmick, that means it's nothing serious to him.Which is tremendously insensitive to the lgbt causes.Knowing Tae didn't like it,he raised his brow AT TAE like saying 'What are you gonna do?'.Members are going to invite him to their wedding like 'wish you could come but you are so busy don't you have that thing on that very day so unfortunate we know you will be with us in spirit bye'. No wonder they are estranged from him.And Kookie acted like my dog when she hears 'bath time'.Pretend you are not here. Jungkook is thinking he is performing the sacred duty of holding bts together.He doesn't want them to suffer because of taekook.He doesn't want members to fight.He prioritizes bts over his own relationship because he does not want to be seen selfish.But..old habits die hard. I wouldn't have paid any extra attention to that mock kissing attempt if I hadn't seen the aftermath of it in a video at least 3 or 4 months ago.Tae was really angry in that shoot.While singing he and Jimin touched head while sitting and JK came jumping and separated them.In that video it was seen as JK getting jealous of Vmin but V doesn't hide his angry face.The whole time JK was looking at Tae.In todays's dropped memories in bts, Tae ignored JK when he was trying to catch up with him on the same day.

I have seen kookie trying fanservice with members but they are not jimin.They respect Tae.They are older and don't see why they need to do these things specially when they are getting into the next phase of their life :serious relationships. You think they see Kookie and thank him for saving bts?They see a child who is desperately trying to hold onto his favourite toy even if it means destroying himself in the process.I think JK has already started seeing how respect in relationships work by observing the members relationships.You think they are gonna let Jimin climb all up on their gf while their gf act like a statue?JK in his weverse said he doesn't think about the past,his focus is always to the future.His ego wouldn't be able to cope if he did.

There are a lot of secrets within that group.They want to stay truthful but it is not what happens.Tae and bh, their relationship is key to uncovering all of the favouring that Jimin got in the successive years.In this festa he said he believed about himself "I can make my own way". Jimin's insecurity is so deep rooted, anything to cover that up. RM said in the same festa he stopped believing that people are inherently good.

You have a nice weekend.

Lisa anon,

“Cult” would be an accurate description. "Pinky promise" lol it wouldn't be so bizarre if I didn't see adults say such naïve things.

My confusion arises because I started with the assumption that Jimin didn't have an agenda. I guess if you look at it that way both BH and Jimin's own desire for visibility could have played into it but I also think Jikook did have a genuine bond, a bond that changed from the early years independent from company and shippers narratives but Jungkook's relationship with the rest remained the same from whatever we can see. That part I don't understand. I could be wrong about this but there was quite a bit of Jikook even in the earlier content so the company always had plans for them but it didn't morph into it's current form the until 2017.

May I ask why you think Tae was the only one to move out? Couldn't they all afford their own places by then? I wasn't in the fandom back then so the personality shift in Jungkook isn't as clear to me as it would be to someone who was closely watching them in real time. Interesting thing about the staring you brought up there. Anti-Taekookers have made it their mission to convince everyone that Taekook isn't special and never was. Even if they paint him as someone who ignores Tae, I am of the opinion that Jungkook can be a bit (very) intense. So, I am somewhat in agreement with the "wanting Tae like oxygen" sentiment lol. I can definitely see them disagreeing over their friends, living arrangements and loyalty to the band but none interestingly enough seems to lead them to reconsider the whole relationship thing. If you take into account their environment and the things they have to deal with daily, the only reason they lasted so long is that one or both of them really want this unless they feed off the drama of it all.

That memories 2020 Jikook clip was quite something, I'll need more time to piece it all together but yes, it looked awkward. Some things may be obvious to us but until Jungkook himself says or does something it'll just be "Taekookers making Jimin the villain of their kdrama" type responses. The new trend is to say that Tae is the one who makes Jungkook uncomfortable whenever Jungkook doesn't respond when Tae interacts with him. It's a losing battle and I'm not interested in convincing anyone if they refuse to see.

I think the accusation against Jungkook was that he increased fanservice with the other members for attention. After the 2019 scandals Jungkook seems to have this parallel image of being the black sheep of BTS, the intentions behind his actions are over-analyzed. He’s painted as this two-faced, opportunistic person who would throw anyone under the bus for his image and solo career, using his bandmates to queerbait unsuspecting fans, and so on. Jungkook doesn’t help his case the way handles certain things which makes me think he really is unaware of how the fandom perceives him or Taekook. That would explain a lot actually and it makes sense I’d probably avoid this fandom and filter content too.

I’m probably going to annoy you but I don’t take Festa content at face value either. BTS definitely have a lot to hide, I’m impressed by how they managed to stay unscathed so far. I feel we won’t get the truth from them any time  soon. They have more reasons to be careful and they’ve become too significant for Koreans to let anything happen to them. So, only a huge scandal will take them down.

You too have a nice weekend. 💜

[romcomathon2016]

A Christmas Prince (USA, 2017)

And now, a special bonus edition, not for any actual occasion, but just because we freaking felt like it. God bless you, Netflix, for this glorious season when all the worst Hallmark movies ever made arise out of the depths for easy streaming upon demand. Happy holidays, Romcomathon readership! (We will also be watching an equally terrible non-Netflix movie, it looks like, on actual Christmas. Prepare yourselves.)

Predictions: Alex, having read the description, knew that it was about a reporter and a prince, perhaps falling in love through a house of lies. Kat, not having read the description, predicted that Christmas was a place as well as a time, and perhaps the Prince of Christmas -- A CHRISTMAS PRINCE, IF YOU WILL -- was looking for a bride. At Christmastime. Perhaps the Kingdom of Christmas only merges with the regular world at Christmastime!!!! Who can say.

Plot: Uh… Kat was joking, but may not have been entirely mistaken. Whereas she was picturing some sort of seasonal magical fairy kingdom, Aldovia is instead a supposedly real country that crowns its monarchs at the Christmas Eve Ball???? But let's back up a bit and explain.

Rose McIver is a "junior editor," aka peon?? at a fashion magazine in "New York" (a whole variety of skylines were used here, though...huh), who inexplicably gets sent to a foreign country to cover the possible abdication of a playboy prince, Ben Lamb. Obviously he turns out to not really be a playboy; she assumes a fake identity by accident (is mistaken for the princess's soon-to-arrive new American tutor); and she immediately finds her way into both his good graces and those of his wayward, overprotected little sister -- who, by the way, has spina bifida AND is super sad about their father's death a year ago. There was literally not a heartstring that this movie did not attempt to tug, y’all; we are shocked that there wasn't a baby animal of some kind wearing a ribbon around its neck at a pivotal moment.

Anyway, Prince Ben Lamb just doesn't know if he wants to be king, guys. Can he handle it? Can he handle it?? No, kind of seems like he can't, tbh, but since his scheming cousin, next in line, seems like a truly terrible person, he should probably try. But wait! Plot twist! Rose McIver stumbles across an incredibly poorly-hidden secret compartment in the king's hunting lodge -- after having been rescued by Prince Ben Lamb from a wolf in the snowy woods, mind you (...yes) -- and discovers SECRET ADOPTION PAPERS. PRINCE BEN LAMB IS ADOPTED, AND NOBODY KNEW!!!! Well, except his parents, presumably.

Here we start a new paragraph specifically to ask HOW. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE ROYAL FAMILY SOMEHOW ADOPTED A CHILD AND KEPT IT SECRET FROM EVERYONE. EVERYONE.

Naturally, Scheming Cousin and his lady friend (actually Prince Ben Lamb's former lady friend, but let's not get into it) discover this as well, because Rose McIver is the worst undercover reporter in the world, and they decide to keep this information under their fancy evil hats until the Right Moment. When is the Right Moment, you ask? Obviously, at the Christmas Eve Ball/coronation. Yes, two for the price of one. The Aldovian monarchy is v. practical and/or thrifty that way! They also have the Prime Minister do the ceremony (perhaps not wanting to spring for a priest), and he (perhaps having never before seen a coronation?!) runs the whole thing like a wedding. Does anyone object to the prince's crowning, he asks, or forever hold your peace?? Guess who doesn't hold their peace, guys -- lol, it's Scheming Cousin. THE PRINCE IS ADOPTED!!!!!!!!

Man, what unfortunate timing, now that Prince Ben Lamb has finally gotten his act together and agreed to be king. Also unfortunate: the scheming duo reveals the truth about Rose McIver's identity. WHAT IS EVEN LEFT FOR PRINCE BEN LAMB TO BELIEVE IN???? He doesn't know who Rose McIver is! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS EITHER. Also, the Prime Minister clearly has no mind of his own, and the Queen somehow has no power???? (We suppose that makes sense, though, since this nation is apparently stuck in like the 1100s or something, because girls still can't inherit and the line skips right over Prince Ben Lamb’s sister??) Anyway, they're all just like, welp, it's Christmas Eve, so we couldn't possibly wait a day to reasonably discuss our nation’s future, and instead we absolutely must crown Scheming Cousin immediately. All is lost.

Rose McIver, meanwhile, is at the airport headed home, all dejected and stuff, when she has a sudden epiphany about the secret poem the prince showed her in the hunting lodge. (SO MUCH SECRET STUFF IN THIS HUNTING LODGE, YOU GUYS. WHAT WAS EVEN GOING ON WITH THE KING. WHY DID HE SHARE NOTHING WITH HIS QUEEN OR HIS COUNCIL????) She rushes back to the castle and breaks open the homemade acorn Christmas ornament that the dead king left for the queen (...yeah), and lo and behold, a secret decree naming his adopted son worthy to be king. The king even took care to mention that it wasn't about blood or anything, but rather about Prince Ben Lamb's good character, which incidentally, Prince Ben Lamb was worried about. HOW PRESCIENT OF HIM. (Though not as prescient as if he had done the normal thing and publicized this before his death and avoided this whole debacle. :|)

Rose McIver bursts into the SECOND coronation; the Prime Minister again has no trouble accepting this latest sudden, poorly-verified turn of events; and Prince Ben Lamb gets properly crowned. Rose McIver goes back home to “New York” and writes a very schmaltzy story about how great he is. Her editor, surprisingly, does not want to publish this CRAZY STORY that she paid for Rose McIver to get, so Rose McIver quits and starts a weirdly successful blog instead. Then, on New Year's Eve, King Ben Lamb turns up on the doorstep of her father's diner and proposes to her. YUP, YOU READ THAT CORRECTLY, READER. THE KING OF A NATION PROPOSES TO A WOMAN HE KNEW FOR ONE WEEK UNDER AN ASSUMED IDENTITY. THE END.

Best Scene: It is impossible to choose, perhaps because there was not a single scene in this glorious Christmas masterpiece that did not seem like it had been ripped from another film and spliced into this one in iMovie. The number of lines that we predicted out loud before they were said on screen was, shall we say, astonishing, but then again, not astonishing at all.

Worst Scene: All of the best scenes were the worst scenes, and all of the worst scenes were the best scenes.

Best Line: "You haven't thought about this. I mean, we barely know each other." -- Rose McIver, saying what we are all thinking. I mean, who would marry this royal idiot?? HE HAS BAD JUDGMENT AND WILL SOON BE DEPOSED, AND THEN WHERE WILL YOU BE?? Points for having good sense for once, Rose McIver. Points lost for capitulating moments later.

Worst Line: "A palace is a lonely place for a king without a queen." -- King Ben Lamb, during his proposal speech, all of which was awful, just to be clear. Although we did enjoy how his answer to pretty much all her objections was, money can solve everything! I mean. He's not entirely wrong. The royal family is probably very rich from all the money they've saved on coronations.

Highlights of the Watching Experience: Ummmm, reading the article that Entertainment Weekly wrote about it?? This article, a journalistic tour de force of the sort Rose McIver could never compose, addresses all of the concerns that we could not fit in this blog post. It is accurate and hilarious. Read it here.

Also, this whole watching experience was a highlight of our year. Literally the tropiest film we've ever watched. Cannot believe how many different clichés they managed to cram into one movie.

How Many POC in the Film: Like...2-4? One of her two friends was black (the other was a gay man, of course), a jerk reporter at the magazine was also black, and there may or may not have been an Asian person or two sprinkled in in Aldovia, with hardly any lines. Not awesome, for 2017.

Alternate Scenes: So, how did Rose McIver end up needing to be rescued from a wolf, you ask? Well, it's because she stole a horse from the stables to stalk Prince Ben Lamb, and then it threw her and left her in the snow, à la Beauty and the Beast. Only this low-budget cinematic wonder could only afford one wolf, evidently. Excitingly, though, in the moment before this wolf came on screen, we were wondering if it was going to be a werewolf, and if this movie was REALLY going to take a turn. Truthfully, readers, we kind of wish that had happened. We would watch that alternate film. Possible titles -- iWerewolf? A Christmas Wolf?

Was the Poster Better or Worse than the Film: BETTER. Now, we know we’ve suggested that no film could be better than this one, but this badly-photoshopped family holiday card is clearly the poster for a movie about the Prince of Hell, who rises out of his pentacle in a tower of flame to claim as his bride Rose McIver, who happens to love Christmas. Whereas of course the Prince of Hell hates Christmas, because it's Jesus’s birthday, and he is the Prince of Hell (duh). Hijinks ensue; eventually they overcome their differences, and maybe the Prince of Hell abdicates his hellish throne in order to live on Earth with Rose McIver. The final scene is, of course, them in their charming living room, enjoying Christmas. The Prince jokingly puts a devil-themed ornament on the Christmas tree (yes, they make those; we double-checked). "Oh, you!" says Rose McIver. They giggle together. Pan out into the snow.

Score: 4 out of 10 pasted-together-out-of-a-random-Hallmark-plot-generator smooches. Soooooo bad, you guys. Probably zero actual-movie smooches. But 10 out of 10 smooches in our still-laughing hearts!

Ranking: 72, out of the 109 movies we’ve seen so far. Sadly, we would rather rewatch this than a shocking number of other things. IT WASN'T GOOD, JUST TO BE CLEAR. NOT GOOD AT ALL. Yet...what a grand old time we had. This is the most perfect terrible movie we have ever watched or could ever imagine watching.

[detoxdolan]

Another Late Tag

🎀Rules: Answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people some of your faves.

I am aware that this is hella long and hella late, but I appreciate being tagged in these things and I love learning about all you lovely people in the fandom.

ALRIGHT LETS GET ITTTTT.

Last: 1. Drink - H2O bro 2. Phone call - I got a phone call from an unknown number while I was at work, so I called back and a random lady with a British accent answered and said she never called me??? 🤔 3. Text message - I’m currently absent from a game, so one of my teammates is filling me in on all the tea I’m missing. Apparently there’s beef between teams. 👀 4. Song you listened to - Praise You by Fatboy Slim (it was in a playlist, let me live.) 😂 5. Time you cried - uhhh Monday (today is Wednesday). So basically two days ago. 😅

Ever: 6. Dated someone twice? - Yes haha 7. Kissed someone and regretted it - Definitely.  8. Been cheated on - stealing this quote from @spiffydolan​ 👉 “technically yes, but really no” 9. Lost someone special - Yes 😳 10. Been depressed - ..Yes. 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up - haha never 😁😁

3 Favorite colours: 12. Neutrals - Black, white, and beige  13. Blue!!! 14. Trendy Colours - so your basic olive green, millennial pink, maroon etc etc 

In the last year (2017) have you: 15. Made new friends - I made this account in December and made so many friends on here that I’m so grateful for every day 😭AND THAT’S JUST ON TUMBLR. I feel like I branched out a lot this year and met so many cool ppl. 2017 was a good year.  16. Fallen out of love - Yes..and tbh it’s one of the worst feelings ever.  17. Laughed until you cried - not something I do often, but I think so. 18. Found out someone was talking about you - haha all the time #TalkShitGetHit 19. Met someone who changed you - Yes.  20. Found out who your friends are - “When people show you their true colours, believe them.” 👉 I feel like we all know the truth about who people are and its just a matter of whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not. There are a lot of people in my life that I know shouldn’t be here but I don’t have the heart to let go of just yet..it’s a work in progress.  21. Kissed someone on your Facebook friends list - uhhhhh probably LOL

General: 22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know irl - tbh, I tried to do a facebook cleanse and remove anyone I didn’t associate with in real life but that lasted for like 2 seconds LMAO 23. Do you have any pets - I have a weenie dog 😊 24. Do you want to change your name - I don’t quite like my name, but I don’t think anything else would match me???  25. What did you do for your last birthday - I went to a club with my 2 best friends and we ran into some friends and celebrated all together. Then I had a intimate little dinner with all my closest friends and family. OH I also cut all my hair off - so I guess there’s that 😂😂 Best birthday I’ve had so far. 26. What time did you wake up today - 7:45 am, even though my alarm was set for 8:45 🙄 27. What were you doing at midnight last night - Sleeping, most likely. Or finishing up a FaceTime sesh with @silly-silly-fangirl​  28. What is something you can’t wait for - Everything and anything involving @silly-silly-fangirl​ #Toronto2k18 30. What are you listening to right now - Teen Rocket by Tigers Jaw (against my better judgement, this is for a music challenge)  31. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom - I..don’t think so? 32. Something that’s getting on your nerves - Haha a lot of things. Uhh lets see: My boss, my friends, negative ppl EVERYWHERE 33. Most visited website - Probably Tumblr or YouTube 34. Hair color - Chestnut Brown. I know this because when I used to colour pictures as a kid with pencil crayon, I would use the Chestnut Brown pencil crayon for my hair. 😂😂 35. Long or short hair -  In the aforementioned birthday question, I cut all my hair off, but its growing back.                                                                                          36. Do you have a crush on someone - Lol I have like..a crush for every occasion. I have a work crush, a school crush, a basketball crush..literally a crush for every place I go.                                                                                   37. What do you like about yourself - Turning Pain into Power, Positivity, and Patience. 4 P’s 🙏

38. Want any piercings? - I was thinking about getting my seconds because literally everyone has so many badass piercings and I dont (my parents would kill me). 39. Blood type - B positive! I got tested at a lil set up at my school for blood donation. DONATE BLOOD YALL!!!! Seriously, you could save like 3 lives from that ish.  40. Nicknames - Ni, Nina, Nitts/Mama Nitts (why), Nids, NiNi, T, Nitty, Littya etc etc 41. Relationship status - Single and satisfied ✌️ 42. Zodiac - Leo ♌ 43. Pronouns - she/her 44. Favorite TV shows - Jane the Virgin, How To Get Away With Murder, Riverdale (these are just recents)  45. Tattoos - Honey....would u put a bumper sticker on a bentley  46. Right or left handed - righty is tighty  ✌️ ✌️ 47. Ever had surgery - I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed, but I wasn’t put to sleep. I had local anesthetic and I was awake for the whole thing, IT WAS FUCKING BRUTAL I cried the whole time the dental assistant had to wipe my tears throughout the procedure lmao  48. Piercings - I have a tongue ring 😜🤘 49. Sport - Cheerleading 🎀 50. Vacation - Tryna reach NOLA for Mardi Gras next year you already knowwww @spiffydolan​ 🎉🎉 51. Trainers - wut

More general: 52. Eating - either way too much or not enough and no in between 53. Drinking - Water. Always water. I got some free coconut water at work though, so I mean that was pretty cool. 54. I’m about to watch - Riverdale? idk I got a lot of shows to catch up on. 55. Waiting for - My new apartment to be ready! 🤗 56. Want - mostly just a bunch of household things for my new place. But also, want @silly-silly-fangirl​ to come visit me in Toronto :( 57. Get married - Yeah, maybe. I gotta find someone to like me first 😅 58. Career - I’ve lowkey always wanted to be a teacher and my entire life has basically been me avoiding becoming a teacher soooo yeah lmao. Right now I’m on the track to Midwifery but I’m? chaning my mind?? idk. 

Which is better: 59. Hugs or kisses - I wanna say hugs cause I feel like you can’t kiss everyone. But the people you can kiss...damn.  60. Lips or eyes - eyes 61. Shorter or taller - I’m not one of those cute, dainty, short girls. I’m 5′6, so taller would be appreciated  😅 62. Older or younger - older 63. Nice arms or stomach - I have neither so 💁 64. Hookup or relationship - Relationship? idk I’m kinda living the single life rn and I’m just chilling so I wouldn’t mind a casual thing here or there BUT WHO HAS THE TIME 65. Troublemaker or hesitant - I’m the best mix of both 😏

Have you ever: 66. Kissed a stranger - Yes 🙈 67. Drank hard liquor - Yes 68. Lost glasses - Probably 69. Turned someone down - Yes 😪 70. Sex on first date - Not...yet? 71. Broken someones heart - Yes  72. Had your heart broken - Yes 😞 73. Been arrested - Nope 😇 74. Cried when someone died - Yes 💔 75. Fallen for a friend - Not a close friend, but yeah.

Do you believe in: 76. Yourself - I do 😌 77. Miracles - Absolutely 78. Love at first sight - Maybe not? Probably more like a significant encounter typa vibe

79. Santa Claus - haha no 80. Kiss on a first date - To be proper, no. Butttt there are def exceptions. 81. Angels - YES 

Other: 82. Best friend’s name - In the great words of Mindy Kaling “Best friend is a tier, not a person.” Butttt @silly-silly-fangirl​ (If u couldn’t already tell) is one of my favorite people on this planet atm. 83. ‎Eye color - Brown? I wanna say hazel, but the twins literally INVENTED hazel w their eye colour and I cannot compete. 84. Favorite movie - Hardest question ever...I always say Zorro 85. ‎Favorite actor - Leonardo DiCaprio? Viola Davis? Robert DeNiro??

Thank you so so much to @spiffydolan for the tag. U da best. 💜💜

Gonna tag some of my favorite blogs at the moment. If you’ve already been tagged/want to sit out of this tag, consider this a shoutout! Thanks for being awesome 😊 @ethandolanakae-tee-wee-tee @laneswervingdolan @pandasaremyspritanimal @broncodolan @silly-silly-fangirl @coconutethan @dolanwaffles

[xylianna]

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟 I have had a lot of rum today and will totally star for star with you....of course I will probably be sober by the time you get to this... MORNING RUM IT IS!!!!

48 STARS?   SERIOUSLY DO YOU WANT MY LIFE STORY?  CAUSE YOU’RE ABOUT TO GET IT.

1. my first pet was a rabbit named Carmel

2. my first cat was a yellow tabby named Orlith (Moreta’s queen dragon in the Dragonriders of Pern books)

3. my other two cats have been named Wolf and Lynx.  Wolf is my old lady cat, 18 years old.  Lynx I had to rehome when I moved a few years ago.  Orlith died years ago, the poor thing.

4. I learned how to hunt because I live in an area that is THE THING and also animals are tasty. I spent hours tracking a damn pheasant on my first hunt but because of my shitty eyesight/lack of depth perception, couldn’t see it, so my dad shot it. He still credited me with the kill since I tracked it.

5. I like to go fishing, if by fishing you mean “sit on the boat and read a book because its pretty on the water”

6. I like spreadsheets a little too much. Google Sheets means I can have them EVERYWHERE.

7. I love to sing, and its the one thing I’m actually a bit arrogant about. At least, I feel like its arrogance. Maybe its just being truthful? I have a really good voice. I trained it for a lot of years.  it’s one of the few things I can do that almost always lifts my mood.

8. I hadn’t seen any live concerts in ages, and then in 2016 I saw Final Fantasy A New World and the Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses

9. I have next to no confidence in anything outside my singing and it still boggles my mind that people like my writing. this isn’t me fishing for compliments, I’m honestly astounded. I read other people’s stuff and I’m blown away that those same people like mine, when theirs is just so fucking amazing.

10. sometimes I go anywhere between a day or a week without contacting anybody just to see if anyone bothers to talk to me if I don’t reach out first.  the results usually make me more sad than before I tried. and make me question most my ‘friendships’.

11. I’ve been single for two years and I kinda hate it, but don’t expect it to change anytime soon. part of the reason is i’m picky AF.  most of the reason is I have little to no social life.

12. I’m pagan and I am deeply spiritual but I generally don’t discuss it at all if I’m not asked by a close friend, because to me spirituality and religion is DEEPLY personal

13. I have never slept with a woman who hasn’t decided afterwards that she’s straight. this is probably why I’ve dated so few women. while logically I know there’s no correlation between my performance and their declarations (especially as my more recent ex-gf is dating another woman now), its still a pretty big ego blow.

14.  Sorry I just answering this to sing for like 10 minutes.   Currently trying to type while singing “Missing” by Evanescence.  ANGST ANGST ANGST ANGST!

15. i hate going to movies alone and will actively buy people tickets just so I don’t have to

16. I hate cooking for just me when my son isn’t home, so instead I tend to batch cook and freeze a bunch to enable lazy dinners down the road

17. I’m a really good cook :D

18. Tomorrow I play D&D! I play once a month with a small group of family and friends. This is the third group I’ve had for the same campaign and I don’t think I’ll ever see the end at this rate, haha.

19. I also play WoW.  In WoW, I play Xylianna, the Paladin.  In D&D I play a Fighter.  I like swords okay?

20. work sucked this week but I have rum now :D

21. I had cancer when I was 17.   In 2 months will be my 18th anniversary of being cancer free. I celebrate that more than my birthday, or my wedding anniversary before I was divorced.  Nothing gets you to pare the bullshit out of your life faster than getting that diagnosis, let me tell you.

22. HOW THE FUCK AM I ONLY ON NUMBER 22 WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE WANT FROM ME *gets a third drink*

23. In my local kink community, my ‘scene name’ is one of my first OTP’s.

24. If 23 didn’t warn you, I’m going to talk about BDSM now. I’m a switch insofar as I’ll top without any real hint of dominance since I LOATHE the responsibility of being a dom.  Iggy in Discretion/What Would Happen is totally based off me, because I vastly prefer to give over control since my entire fucking life is me running everything. I run my dept at work, I run my house, I run my gaming group, I run my karaoke group.  Sometimes I just need a break okay?

25. also gimme dat pain

26. and I’ll give you some, too, because I enjoy service topping

27. Consent is Sexy, okay?   I go out of my way to portray consent being constantly re-established in my bdsm fics particularly, because its never okay to assume that just because I was allowed to do X last week, its okay to do X this week. I mean obviously in an established relationship, it would be different, but even then CONSENT AND COMMUNCATION, SO FUCKING SEXY

28. I wish I could play a string instrument. I bought a guitar and tried to learn it but it turns out I am not good at teaching myself something so different from what I already know, haha.  Chords  are confusing to me for some reason. Or I made them more confusing than they had to be.

29. I am embarrassed to admit how many years its been since I picked up one of my clarinets.  I wish I could find a local ensemble to join, but, that would mean reaching out and asking and aahhhhhh *hides*

30. I would also totally lose my shit if I could find a choral group to join that wasn’t attached to a Christian church. no offense at all to christian churches, but I feel a bit dishonest joining a group connected to a faith I don’t share, you know?

31. when I go to xmas eve church with my mom at her church, my brother-in-law’s mother does indeed make me join choir for that night, and its great!

32. i’m intensely lonely most of the time but I pretend i’m not because indulging in the feeling won’t change anything. and tbh part of it is my fault for isolating myself.

33. I have chronic severe depressive disorder coupled with a side of anxiety. So I feel like shit, and I worry about it, LOL

34. Prior to November 2017 NaNoWriMo, I hadn’t written in over 10 years, save for a couple 300ish word short stories.

35.  part of me is terrified certain family members will find my AO3/Tumblr. I actually talked to my psychologist about this fear at my last appointment. We agreed that if they go to so much trouble as to find my internet alter ego, they deserve to be offended by my work. Fuck ‘em.

36. just once I wish I could feel the support I give my family given to me. I have one supportive family member and its not even blood. my brother-in-law is my best friend, for real.  my Warder (if you follow WoT), bonded in balefire.  I wish the rest of my family would care about me, but I’m working on accepting they just won’t.

37. I love learning languages for the same reason I love studying music, and I love writing - my goal is to communicate as effectively as possible, make people really understand, and the more avenues open to me the better

38. when I get a little drunk, I forget English and speak a mashup of Spanish, German, and Japanese

39. I have to go to karaoke tomorrow night for the first time since I was sexually harassed at karaoke last October, and I’m kinda terrified

40. I get very down on myself when I realize in my writing I do no world building and very little serious plotting. I basically write angst, or love, or smut. I’m trying to be okay with that, but I admit I feel like I don’t do a good enough job.

41. wow way to kill the mood, Xy.   honestly, if anyone is still reading this, you get a fucking medal.  i’m not that interesting, and I probably should have stopped writing this long ago.

42. I really wish life would give me a fucking break, you know?  but that’s not how it works.  you gotta make your own breaks, and I’m too gods-damned tired to try at present.  Maybe I’ll try later this year.

43. I wish I lived alone. Ironic, since I’m lonely 99% of the time.  But having a roommate isn’t the same as having companionship and sometimes I just want to not listen to someone else’s blaring TV or have someone else walk thru the house while I’m writing at the table or have someone comment on my singing (even if its complimentary)

44. WOW I GOT DEPRESSED LETS LIGHTEN THINGS UP SHALL WE?  I love apple scented shit.

45.  I own at least 10 pairs of kitty ears, and two tails.  In fact I am wearing ears to karaoke tomorrow.  Meow.

46.  I want the relationship I write for Gladnis in my Discretion series BUT I’M NOT HOLDING MY BREATH FAM

47.  my son is 8 yrs old and he’s honestly the best thing i’ve done with my life, and he is the thing I am most proud of, even topping my joy in beating cancer

48.  in 2016 I lost 120 pounds.  in 2017 i gained 30 back.  in 2018… we’ll see.

HOLY FUCK THAT WAS HARD I DESERVE MORE RUM NOW OKAY

[ryukignis]

COMMENTARY. Due to breaking my hand in early 2018, I’ve decided to update my new years resolutions for this year. I am going to be who I am and be what I say I am.  I will not run from my past regardless of mistakes I’ve made but I will also NOT repeat those mistakes. I will just be blunt and be myself. I will not lie about anything unless it’s a small white lie. I refuse to harm anyone anymore and I refuse to be a villain anymore. I am going to brave against the odds and prove I am a changed person for the best of myself and for others and especially for those who are my friends because they deserve a real me. 

Also, for any drama that comes across my path? I will ignore it because I am not here to have more dramatic life. I’m here to make friends and have a life and have fun with shared interests and hobbies.  A very few people have already seen my resolutions kicking in its effects and I must admit it’s quite refreshing now. Shame I had to have an ugly reality check in 2017 to snap myself completely out of it ( which I’m deeply apologetic for and wish to deliver a changed behavior AS a proper apology ). I’m NO longer listening to any updates on my old drama because I do not wish to be that person ever again. I wish to be who I am really and stick to the truth of my life as Judd. 

Now let’s move to my new years’ resolutions of 2018:

Monthly: I intend to attempt to finish at least 2 videogames, 2 books, 2 art pieces, and 2 short stories. I also intend to attempt at least one social event with my friends and partner. I’ll even attempt to save up to 200 dollars per month into my savings.

Weekly: I will attempt to stick to my budget that I set forth for myself that week, go out somewhere with my friends or to a meet-up group and socialize, and go to the gym three times a week.

Daily: I will post a gratitude post on my twitter daily to express a more positive attitude and be more supportive of others with genuine intentions. I will also remind myself daily that it is okay to have some negativity in life and do my best to be productive everyday. I will do something that contributes to my field of study, my friends, my hobbies, my self-care, and for any potential partners I may have.

Get better with graphics in photoshop ( use tutorials and bases, etc ) 

Get better with my writing ( read writing reference books and develop a better range of vocabs ) 

Review old Law stuff ( to stay up to speed & updated ) 

Develop a better sleeping hours ( at least 8 hours of sleep ) 

Only go on my rp accounts once a day ( no more staying on them all day and lurk ) 

Be a bit more social ( unless I’m having an off day ) 

Get better in my interactions with people and remain neutral despite any personal issues 

Get 2,000 dollars in savings by end of this year 

Do 100 days of productivity 

Do the Writing November month thing 

Do the inkoctober thing 

Get all of my WOW characters to 110 level

Get to level 40 on LOL by end of this year

MAY BE ADDED ON!

I will reblog this post when I accomplish a goal by striking it out ( like so: accomplished ) or add a new goal ( like so NEW: goal ).

[mukhtaleef]

IPKKND3 binge watch rant

So @asrkikhatir​ finally I got time to watch the episodes!! you successfully convinced me girl!!

I am gonna watch 4 episodes in one go!! this is gonna be super long Lets see how it goes!!

Thursday: 31/08/2017

Ok so Nani is going the original Raizada way. Shadi kisi bhi circumstance me kyo na hui ho rasme nibhana zaruri hai!!

Chandni is so cute with Adi!1 Adi is cute too 

Oh baby is a superman (Adi is wearing a superman cap). that’s so cool. This dialogue is courtesy my kiddo 😃

So cheeku (its so cute!!) mama is Adi’s favourite!!

But seriously, I hate that they use all of the background scores from the original ipkknd.

The one being played right now is one of my favourites arshi tunes!! I hate this that they have used it here!!

See you tomorrow!! Like is he going out of the house!!

This sister is sweet!!

OK may be a wrong thing to say at this time sista!!

Is this the Dil boley Oberoi house? The kitchen looks the same!

I hate jokes made on physical appearances.

Ugh Chandni stop trying to please that witch from hell!!

Why is kajal holding phone for Indrani?

Hey bhaggu! fir aa gaya Advay!!

Run away Chandni. None of these people deserve you!!

Og god!! Is this Sista going to make lame jokes like this? Someone please bring Lipistick wali masi!!

Achha decorate? It looks so gaudy!!

I swear the people in this show can’t read facial expressions at all!!

What? he got her biscuits?

Damn him making her wear jewellery is just creepy!

What? Stop calling her characterless you creep!!

Yass Chandni. Give it back to him. Tell him he doesn’t deserve you at all!!

Where did all the biscuits go? Why didn’t they fall from the plate?

SHUT UP ADVAY!!

Yass girl!! Tell him that he is a disgusting creep!!

Goof girl Chandni!!!

Ok why is Chandni interested in mooh dikhai? Is it just to spite Advay? Then I am all for it!!

BTW that necklace Chandni is wearing is hella ugly!!

OK what is this masi’s problem?

But Advay looks sooooo good!! I like how he is dressed in a proper suit!!

Like what is the point of accepting someone as their bahu in front of society when they are going to be an asshole to them in the confines of the house? I don’t understand this stupid logic 😒😒

Anyway onto next episode.

Friday: 01/09/2017

I hate this stupid precap thing!!

Time to ho gaya? Seriously nani konse Indian function me log time pe aate hai?

Aah Advay has done something!

Did he just tell people that its cancelled!!

Why is he wearing a purple suit?

someone needs to monitor Adi’s Media consumption! What are they showing this kid that he is talking like that!!

Ok this masi is making me dislike her more and more every passing second!

Advay is calling Indrani, right?

Yup.

lol. I love it when Advay is fucking up Indrani!!

Paylagu sasu ma. aapka zabardasti ka damad bol raha hu 😁😁

Okay Advay you don’t need to insult Chandni while fucking up Indrani.

I love how Sobti is playing it though!!

Leela is hypocritical as well. Khud to apni ma ki sun nahi rahi hai and expects her daughter to listen to her!! Go away you bitch!! 

Why is Nani getting bossed around by Leela? what sort of relationship do these two share? And why is Advay fine with it? 

Why is Chandni lying to Indrani? Doesn’t she no that her misery will give Indrani more pleasure?

Okay stop crying for that woman Chandni. She doesn’t deserve it!

Your apology is useless Nani!! you shouldn’t have brought her here.

Ghanti baji! kon aaya?

Lmao bachha party!! Adi, well played!!

Hahaha suck it up Advay!! I am soooooo happpyyyyyyy. 

Lmao!! I am loving this. Advay ka super popat!! YESSSSSSS

Hahahaha Adi Chauke chhakke maar raha hai!

Sab log kaise dekhenge ki meri mami kitni pretty hai!!

Advay’s face at that!! jaise kisine mooh me karela daal diya ho!!

I am so loving this!!

Go Adiiii!!!

Take that Advay!!

I hate what Chandni is wearing though! And that duppatta doesn’t match at all!!

Ye maara nani ne sixer!!

Sharma raha hai!! Leela tu he samjha na isse! Lmao Nani bhi so savage!!

I love this.

I don’t fully understand Advay-Leela dynamics!!

Why is putting those kangan in such slow motion?

Yes! I love it when Chandni gives it back to Advay!!

Is Adi sick or something? How classic!!

ughh Sobti is lip syncing this so baaad! Its giving me michmichi!!

But but but I love the lyrics which are playing between Advay and Chandni!!

I hate how they made Advay out to be a musician but the execution is so poor!! 

I am done with Advay constantly threatening Chandni!!

Chandni fainted!! Ab Advay usse god me uthayega!!

Did she eat anything?

I quite liked this episode!!

Monday: 04/09/2017

Wow only tanatan boy has noticed Chandni’s hunger!!

Ugh Nani’s jokes!!

Why is Chandni so hung up Indrani!!

And stop crying for her!!

Yes mamaji tell her the truth!!

Oh puhleeez Chandni!! That woman is vile!! No need to call her nafrat meethi!! she was about to sell you!!

Fuck I hate this!! 

Sometimes I think more than Advay-Chandni, Chandni-Indrani relationship is more toxic!!

And I am still mad about Indrani being a total witch from hell!!

God I hate this!!

Mamaji please tell Chandni that Indrani tried to sell her! That would probably stop her Maa maa!!

Oh god!! Pooja’s jokes are so lame!!

He made noodles for her?

Pooja asking some real questions here!!

I like her despite her lame jokes!

Hain!! Didn’t he just tell her in last episode that he will not ask her to leave because nani said so! 

I just had an image of Nani singing kya hua tera vaada to Advay 🙈

Or he is asking her to go out because her presence makes him feel something something!!

Wow he is asking her nicely to leave because he promised not to throw her out. What crap!

What in the hell Nani! Why is Chandni supposed to bear your grandson’s nonsense? WTF is this yar? I hate it!!

Advay is stumped! What’s he gonna do?

Chandni girl take this opportunity and run. Go live a peaceful life away from both Advay and Indrani!!

Yikes!! Spiders!! He left spiders in her room!!

I really want to punch him in his face

WTF?! Poisonous spiders!! Goddamnit Advay!

Shit!! I hope one of the spiders bite Advay 😡😡 and courier some to Indrani as well!!

Is he not gonna throw those spiders out!!

Ooh the spider actually bit Advay!! Lmao!!

Sabko bhaga diya to aise bol rahi hai jaise annoying bache the!!

But again this reinforces the theory that he is her tormentor and saviour both!

She is remembering all the times he saved her!! Don’t fall into that trap Chandni!

Advay has a picture of Dev and Chandu framed!!

Advay is sounding like a petulant child here!! 

Wow that flashback!! Advay is actually slut shaming Chandni!! Padhat moorkha!!

Didn’t she used to call him tum?

Samajh me bhi nahi aata aap dushman hai ya nahi?

Eeee Chandni ne dukhti rag pe hath rakh diya!

I love Advay’s expression here. that sudden change from almost stoic expression to unshed tears in his eyes!

This makes me think even he is confused!!

Chandni said the same!!

Advay’s threats are getting old now!!

Why is Nani sending Shilpa to work in someone else’ house? Let the girl get some rest!! 

Why do people in this house talk about Advay’s ex girlfriends as if its some badge of honour? this topic doesn’t deserve to joked about when Advay publicly slut shamed Chandni for having a kid before getting married!! Such double standards! I hate it!!

Chandni is lowkey intrigued about Advay’s ex girlfriends!!

Tell her the truth Nani!! She deserves it after you asking her to bear Advay’s BS!

What crap!! 

And why is Nani talking about nafrat while smiling

And we are done with this episode too. Onto last one for today!!

Tuesday: 05/09/2017

Lol Adi making fun of Chandni’s height!!

Lmao Adi’s secret!! Aloo and paneer ke beech me difference nahi pata!!

Advay’s face at mami ko kiss karo 😁

But seriously from where is Adi getting all these ideas?

Chandni looks mildly uncomfortable. Mostly she looks shy! Does she want Advay to kiss her!! No girl!!

lol Pinky ke mama is very romantic!!

These two look so pretty though!! Thank god Advay isn’t wearing stupid clothing anymore!

What the fuck is Advay upto now?

What kangan are those?

This doesn’t look good!!

Ugh shut up about PeePee already!!

WTF?? Is he going to gaslight her again?? What rubbish is this?

Advay looks deranged right now!!

Ok is my TV playing tricks on me or is there really no fire visible?

What the hell is going on?

Advay Singh Raizada is a psycho!!

What sort of warning is this!!

Yes Chandni tell him!! 

Chandni too thinks Advay is psycho!!

Ok girl take it sown a notch will you!! 

whats wrong with Advay?

He fainted? WTF?

Why doesn’t he want anyone to know?

Call an ambulance girl!!

arre call that tanatan boy!!

WTF she doesn’t know how to drive? matlab kuch bhi?

This is a crapfest!! sir me dard ho gaya mere!!

How does this pandu know her!!

Dude doctor!! cut it out will you? 80% of Indians have arranged marriage and don’t know much about their spouses initially!!

Kidney nahi hai?

6 mahine ke andar? didn’t he comeback to Mumbai 6 months later? or am I wrong? So before going to allahabad he donated his Kidney to someone? but whom?

But seriously what is with Gul and giving her MLs some sort of physical problem? Diabetes, Heart disease and now just one kidney!! SMH. All of this is way too repetitive man!!

But finally I am done with marathon! I have a mild headache now. Thanks to Advay!!

[latina4rmbx]

Celibacy & Me

Hello,

I want to tell you about the times, yes, it was more than once, that I was celibate. I always knew what being celibate was, but I never know the proper definition until today.  Google Dictionary defines celibacy (noun) as the sate of abstaining from marriage AND sexual relations.

Now that I know the definition, I’m wondering, was I REALLY celibate?  I had no choice but to abstain from marriage.   No one was proposing.  So if the definition includes both, which is does, there’s an AND in there, then I guess I just wasn’t fuckin’.  Maybe I should change the title to “The Times I Wasn’t Fuckin’?”  Doesn’t have the same ring to it though.

Well, well, well Wikipedia for the fuckin’ save.  Wikipedia defines celibacy as the state of voluntarily being unmarried, sexually abstinent OR both, usually for religious reasons.  Hey, I definitely didn’t do it for religious reasons.  Lets see what Websters is talking about.

Merriam-Webster defines celibacy as 1)  The state of not being married, 2a) abstention from sexual intercourse, 2b) abstention by vow from marriage.  I should’ve came here first.  Would’ve saved you some reading.  Sorry guys.

Please forgive me because I am BAD with dates and time frames.  However, I remember the durations of the times I was celibate because when people, usually at work, asked me how long had it been, I had a definitive response.

The first time I was celibate lasted for about a year and a half.  NOW, please understand that this was BY CHOICE.  I’m not going to say that the egg plants were flying to me, but I mean, I am a female.  I have a pretty dope personality and I have people I can call up in case of emergency.  I chose to be celibate.

I had been having sexual intercourse, ALL of the sexual intercourses, since I was 12 years old.  Prior to 12, I was doing everything but.  Yes, I know it’s young.  Yes, maybe I should be embarrassed, but honestly, I’m not.  This is my truth and my experiences have made me who I am today and people love me.

So, sexual intercourse at 12 years old.  I was a problem child to say the least.  I don’t know how I will ever apologize to my aunt for all the shit I put her through.  Thankfully, I KNOW she forgives me.  She loves me to death.  She feels it was part of my journey and she’s not going to judge me.  I appreciate her for that.  

Having sexual relations at such a young age, you don’t truly understand your body nor the hints it gives you about what you need.  I wasn’t really the type of kid to masterbate.  Which, knowing what I know now, I missed out.  As a child, I did have orgasms.  

Let me quickly explain the orgasm thing.  So when I was young, I’d say about 5 or 6, maybe a little older, I liked to play on the swings.  Not only swinging on them, but climbing the poles.  I was a huge tomboy growing up, so I had messy hair, scabby knees and scraped elbows (honestly, not much as changed, I almost wiped out today and if you know me, my hair is questionable at times).  So I used to climb the poles that held the swings together.  Sometimes I’d hold on to two poles and sort of shimmy up like a monkey.  Until I discovered the wonder of shimmying up just one pole.

Please know that my little ass (PUN intended) was scrawny and apparently I had upper body strength.  So I would wrap one leg around the pole and jump.  When I was off the ground (maybe INCHES) I would wrap my other leg around the pole and pull myself up with my hands.  Now, what this did was created friction between the pole, my clothing and my vagina (notice I’m keeping it technical to not gross out my family members).  At first nothing would happen, then all of a sudden like a burst, I’d feel my nether region throbbing.  It was the most glorious feeling to a little girl who a) never felt that before and b) had no clue what the fuck was happening, but knew it felt good.

What was my point?  Ahhhh celibacy.  Ok, so I had been “shimmying” up poles as a kid (why didn’t I become a stripper is beyond me) and having sexual intercourse since I was 12.  My vagina needed a break.

Now, she had had breaks in the past.  Being in shitty relationships where I know the guy is screwing someone else, sort of puts a damper on your love life.  You don’t want to have sex with someone you love whom is having sex with someone else (oh how things have changed, LOL).  So I had gone without sex for a time, but maybe a month, two months, maybe 3?  (If any of my ex’s are reading text or message me how long was the longest I held out on you).  None of my ex’s read, so I know they’re not reading this shit.  Not that they can’t, they don’t.

So a few years ago (more than a few years) I decided to stop having sex and see where my life takes me.  I was miserable and depressed and having sex was sort of a bandaid on those feelings.  I stopped enjoying it.  I know the biblical reason for sex is procreation.  I had 3 kids at the time.  It wasn’t fun anymore.  I was having sex just to feel a connection to something.  To top it off, the little girl shimmying up the pole was cuming more than I was.  Don’t get me wrong, sex was FUN, but it wasn’t fulfilling anymore.  I needed the fucking break.

Let me tell you, my life didn’t change one bit.   I didn’t do more.  I didn’t take advantage of the time I wasn’t having sex to pursue other interests.  NOT A DAMNED THING CHANGED.

What broke me out of my celibacy, and the stories will be similar, was someone from my past.  I’ll call him ANNOYING.  He and I are still friends on social media and I don’t know if he reads my stuff so I don’t want to put him out there.  He is the type of person that will go zero dark 30 on you (meaning he’ll ghost you) because he just doesn’t GAF.  That’s perfectly fine for me, especially since after the second time having sex, after the extended vacation, he started talking about things he knows nothing about like children.  He doesn’t have children.  

He has the right to his opinion, something I remind him of often, but...BUT he doesn’t know what it takes to raise a child since he hasn’t had one himself.  He was trying to tell me what to do with my child or what school to send him to, because he doesn’t agree with the Charter School model.  DA FUQ!?  No one, especially not I, asked for your opinion.  I tried to be as cordial as possible about it, but he says things just to get my goat, I think.

The third time he asked to have sex I straight up told him no and that I didn’t even like him as a person.  Although I’m sure I could’ve removed myself and just had sex, he was definitely NOT worth it.

I went celibate again.  This time around it lasted for a little over 3 years.  ANNOYING turned me off so bad I didn’t want to screw anymore.  I have asshole friends.  Do you know all of the “day ____ of no sex” jokes I received via text?  But I held strong.  Remember, I could’ve done it if I wanted to.  I had been offered a few times.  I said I wasn't going to drop my celibacy until I found someone worthy of it.

Guys were NOT lining up to take me out.  Lets get that straight.  Again I had been offered sex, but it was just sex.  One of the persons who propositioned me said “I don’t know how you do it.”  My response was, “I just don’t think about it.”

Now, as women, we know that the whole “I don’t think about it” is bullshit.  Your body does its own thing.  When women are ovulating they get horny.  It’s science bitch!  So, it wasn’t as easy as not thinking about it. What I did do was deprive myself.  No peen, no vibrator, no hand jobs, nothing.  If I was horny, I kept myself occupied until the feeling subsided.  

I had learned my lesson from the first time.  Have sex with someone who’s worth it.  Then, just like before, someone from my past returned.  This time, I was shocked and awed.  NOT by the dick by the persons return.  HE was someone worth giving up my celibacy for.

Unfortunately, things didn’t work out with him.  He ghosted me for a bit.  He has recently contacted me.  He knows he did me wrong and I didn’t deserve it.  I don’t know what he plans to do about it.  At this point in time, he missed his opportunity.  

FYI:  I gave up my celibacy August 2018.  Which means, prior to that, I hadn’t had sex since 2015.  The entirety of 2016 AND 2017 I didn’t have sex.  SHIT that sounds like such a long time.  I guess it is since I was celibate for 3 years, but quantifying it makes it seem so much longer.  Makes sense since I seem to be trying to catch up.  

My friends at work made fun of me so much.  They used to say, “Yeah, maybe he can knock those fucking cobwebs out.”  WHAAAAT?!?!?!?  It was funny.  This second time around, I did more.  I traveled more, I wrote more.  I partied more.  I took advantage of the time I wasn’t having sex to do MORE.  This was essentially the entire point.  Shelly needed a break (that’s my vagina’s name) and I needed to get in the correct headspace.

Being celibate, by choice, is not a bad thing.  Sometimes you need to get back in touch (no pun intended) with yourself.  It would be the same if it were Yoga or a class of some sort.  I just chose to not have sex.

If you choose to be celibate for a time, good for you.  As long as you don’t have friends, such as mine, who “fainted” every time I told them how long I had bee without sex, you’ll be fine.  Celibacy doesn’t mean you can’t orgasm or have sex with yourself.  It just means that you’ve finally decided to put YOUR own needs above anyone else.

There’s nothing wrong with that.

XOXO

Thanks for reading.