#avoiding a heck of a lot of stupid drama

[lunar-years]

Ed hopping on livestream to play every song off Multiply even the deluxe tracks he’s never sung live before made for a fantastic Monday morning work session I’m not going to lie. That album slaps hard. New York song of all time 🫡

[quirklessidiot]

title: Y/N and her boys [sneak peek] pairing : Upper classman/popular kid!Gojo Satoru x F!reader, Exchange student!Eren Jaeger x F!reader, MMA Fighter/Celebrity!Ryomen Sukuna x F!reader, Childhood Bestfriend!Aki Hayakawa x F!reader, Varsity football player!Itoshi Rin x F!reader (use of she/her pronouns) Genre: Alternate Universe-University setting, romance, fluff, angst (if you squint), slice of life, drama, all cliche romance genres unite! (Based on the Manhwa, Bunny and her Boys)

Summary: Y/N’s denied the existence of pretty boys and god forbid she’d ever end up dating one yet with one horrid break-up, she decides that relationships aren’t just meant for someone stupid like her but the problem is — five of them suddenly appear and god, why does it seem like they can’t get enough of her?

General warning for the story: mild sexual content, cliche tropes (help), mahito is his own warning, minor character death, mentions of depression, a lot of second-hand embarrassment from y/n's part (shes not a cool girl, SHE IS A BUBBLING MESS AND THATS OK <33), insecurities, bullying, and mentions of cheating Notes: english isn't my first language! (dont judge me) this multi-chaptered story will probably be 20-30 chapters (idk) in ao3. you can totally tell this story is rooted from self-indulgence LMFAO. Im not sure if i should cross post it but im leaning towards ao3 more either ways, can't wait to release this on friday!

also can u guess who she ends up with :P rb’s are appreciated yay FULL VERSION IS RIGHT HERE!

SNEAK PEAK

“Maybe…Maybe we should break up.”

There's another round of silence between you two, and you know that you can’t exactly take it back anymore since you had said it loud and clear, “Woah, woah, I told you I wasn’t with Misa.” his voice turns louder, and the background noises are good as gone as if he had left the noisy place, “Where are you? I’m coming to get you-”

“I said,” you try to control the stammering of your voice, trying to avoid the stares of the people who cast odd glances, “We’re done. I don’t want to see or hear from you again.” and before he could let another excuse out of his mouth, you end the call. It is only now that you notice how your legs have been quivering and your mouth has gone dry, seemingly like a pup who had just been born and trying to walk. You lose your footing and sit down on the dirty pavement.

No tears were shed at that very moment, probably because you were only stupefied, and it was written clearly on your face that this wouldn’t be something you’d recover anytime soon. Heck, you couldn’t even grasp the idea entirely that someone you’ve been friends with for years and, eventually, a lover would do that to you.

Was it as easy as a snap of a finger?

“Miss? Miss?” someone calls out, but it only bounces back to him like an echo in a cave. You remain still, eyes blinking rapidly while the rest of your face is slack. Everyone around you continued to move, but you remained there like a decorated statue.

“Miss? Christ, you’re about to be–” the husky voice also stops, and it’s only now that you look up to find a man. He seems stocky but, simultaneously, smaller, as if he didn’t want to come off as intimidating when he maintained eye-to-eye contact. 

He is incongruous with everyone who walks by since he desperately tries to hide his features with a baseball cap and a dark face mark. The only thing you can see are strands of his bleached hair, his eyes that resemble the sunshine that peeked through the glasses of whiskey, and the swirls of ink becoming visible underneath his coat when he stretches out his arm.

If this were any other day, you’d run in the opposite direction because he looked like an unscrupulous loan shark, but your body remains in a state of unknown fatigue that you just wanted to stay still. 

You watch as his face softens, the lines on his forehead somewhat disappearing when he watches the color bleed from your face. “...Alright…” he stops, squinting as he crouches to your level. His thick thighs encompass the rough expanse of his straight jeans, and you wondered if he had been an athlete or something. Aside from his built, his presence was rather invigorating,  “oh…” he continues, “Sorry, you-uh…” The confidence he had to throw you off is gone like the evening dust as he motions his index finger up and down his face.

At that moment, you feel something wet running down your cheek. It seemed like the waterworks were late.

You didn’t want to be a pity party in front of anyone, and you’d expect there to be only bystanders, not ‘good samaritans’.

You sniffled, violently wiping the tears away as you felt your ribs were too tight when you took one long breath, “I’m fine…” you respond monotonously.

Who were you even fooling? 

“Right…” you carefully watch him take out a handkerchief, “Fine, sitting on a dirty pavement near my car doesn’t make you look fine, Miss.” he prodded.

“Well, what do you care, anyways?” you tried to keep your voice from cracking, but the stranger showed no qualms of anxiety or fear, nor did he seem mad at your snappy attitude. The blue handkerchief is laid on his palm, waiting for you to take it, yet you exhibit no signs of accepting his kindness. Instead of forcing you through like the usual status quo, he returns it to his pockets.

The odd man.

“Well, for one, I don’t want to run your feet over since I’m parked over here,” he thumbs towards the black jeep that’s parked in front of you, “And my mom didn’t raise me to leave a girl sitting alone, crying her eyes out…”

“Well, did your mom tell you to mind your own business, as well?” your body remains heavy and distant from the stranger, not minding if it came off as rude, but you’ve always been wary of them, especially the ones who claimed to be nice. You wouldn’t be swayed even if you were in a vulnerable place.

He sucks in a deep breath, quite surprised that you had the energy to exchange a vehement response to him. Weren’t you just about to bawl your eyes out?

“Well, you honestly looked like you deserve some niceness after whatever happened.” he conceded, remaining suspiciously friendly, “Piece of advice, though, if it’s a guy, he’s not worth it.” 

“I-what makes you think it’s a guy?” there it goes again, the unknown tightening of your throat and the way the gummy lids on your eyes would heat up as if a pipe of water was about to burst and flood the segways any moment.

“It’s always an asshole who doesn’t seem to know how to treat a woman right.” he lamely explains, and slowly but hesitantly, as if he was waiting for you to move away, he places one hand on top of your hand. 

Unlike a while ago, you weren’t as hostile, but you were confused about why the stranger suddenly did this and didn’t seem to tilt away like you usually would, “So go home tonight, Miss. Cry it out and wake up tomorrow for yourself. You’ll be fine.”

You don’t even see his entire face, but the way he gently caresses your hair as if you were a long-time friend had your lips quivering, and without even realizing it, your torso bends forward. You bury your face in your arms, finding solace in your makeshift fetal position.

The stranger says nothing more; honestly, you didn’t even mind. His newfound presence is comforting.

[sygneth]

allright i have few thoughts about Jules Pidieu and yall need to listen

He is old. Probably good 10-15 years older than most of his colleagues. Maybe more. From guys like Jean, Chester, Torson, definitely more. He has to deal with a bunch of guys with unsophisticated sense of humor all the time. The talks with Harry makes absolutely no impression on him, he is used to that kind of shit. It may seem that he is tired of it, dealing with drunk officers on duty, with their stupid jokes and using him to banter with one another via official channels. He tries to stay professional. And yet still plays the game and passes all the messages, even not the relevant ones. And even though he seems reluctant, it doesn't take much to convince him to pass even the extreme ones. In his own manner, but he will.

Heck, if Harry will refer to himself as "Firewalker" in the first conversation, Jules will go along with that too, if you call the precinct more than once (well, right after he told Jean that Harry refers to himself as *firewater* and I refuse to belive he didn't do that on purpose as he literally said that right a statement before)

But there is another thing. There is constantly someone in the comms besides him. The rest of the precinct, or at least the C-wing seem to hang out in there all the time. He is a man that others like to have around. What is more, if Harry will ask him for the details of his personal life, what Jules says, suggests he and Harry have been talking quite a lot too. "You're not really keen on mentioning your home life, so I've always assumed things weren't that good on that front" - is what he says.

Yeah, we may assume that Harry is rather keen on talking to people and also talking about himself, though one still needs to talk to another person quite a time to notice which topics they'd rather avoid.

Another thing is, that Jules seems to have heard about Harry's life before the RCM, it's just that the question takes him off guard and then Jean appears and cuts it short.

Even if he looks like he's done TM with the shit he has to deal with, I think he finds some satisfaction in it. He will never admit it, because what he does is sigh and probably roll his eyes while lighting another cigarette, but he actually likes the fact that people come gossip to him, that he is in possession of most of the precinct's secrets, that there won't be a drama he will miss. He wouldn't go into all this if there wasn't a part of him that liked it. He is just very subtle showing this.

[trekkele]

Hi!

I was kinda curious about something. From what I‘ve seen in the Fandom it looks like Bruce was heavily judging and talking down to Stephanie when he found out about her Teen pregnancy, and he also used her to try and make Tim jealous about having a new Robin?

Considering Bruce never even wanted a Robin/dislikes his family also being Vigilantes (even if he is simultaneously proud of them) I don’t get why he would try and lure Tim back like that.

Especially his treatment of Stephanie seems wildly out of character. He wants to help Gotham as a whole, he doesn’t judge prostitutes, desperate criminals, or anything of the like, AND specifically has a softspot for Kids and teenagers, so his behavior makes ZERO sense.

But I get that canon does what it wants and sometimes goes for shock/drama for the heck of it and writes characters in a way that is more "interesting" (it really isn’t).

So what I really wanted to know is; is this also accepted as canon in the more Bruce friendly circles? Or is it more like Bruce cutting Jasons throat with a Batarang, where it was rightfully so decided that that‘s stupid.

(was there a """good""" or """understandable""" reason Batman acted like that?)

Ok so this is actually multiple questions and i love all of them because while i hate canon’s treatment of Stephanie and Steph-and-Bruce i love the core concept of the characters - which is, how do you deal with a alternate version of yourself? (Because i will never shut up about Steph and Bruce being parallels).

So to start, you mention fandom writing Bruce as judging her teen pregnancy which i cant speak to because i avoid those fics with prejudice and i havent read/dont remember if the canon ever even deals with that - but long story short No He Would Not. It does not fit his character or his stated goals to act like that. I dont really have more to say on that because the idea is absurd to me, so its kind of lighting up ??? When i try to imagine it.

(Also Bruce absolutely had a teen pregnancy scare/scandal are you joking? Easiest way to get your hands on the billionaire babies fund.)

The “make Tim jealous for Robin” is unfortunately, true but also that era of comics is so confusing. Tim is in boarding school with Alfred, he specifically asked Stephanie to take over Robin and for Bruce to train her, Bruce finally thought he was done with baby vigilantes but no, this kid arranged for a babysitter for him … bonkers.

The thing with Steph is that she was already a vigilante. Spoiler was an independent actor for almost as long as Tim was Robin, she didnt need Batmans permission or approval to start (but lets be honest she probably wanted it.) or continue what she was doing! So the thing with Bruce being harsher during training or refusing to train her … it wouldn’t work. It didnt work. It in fact led to the eventual confrontation with Black Mask and her “death”.

Majority of the Bruce and Steph fics ive read have done some serious frankensteining with her backstory and their relationship - for good reason. A lot seem to cut the teen pregnancy storyline entirely (a fact i feel neutral about. Its interesting and adds depth to Steph, but the way we talk about teen pregnancy has changed a lot since it was written.) as well as the idea that Bruce was trying to make Tim jealous- instead its about Bruce trying to convince Steph that being a vigilante is too hard, too dangerous, and too limiting for her to continue, which is mean yeah but at least its in character, especially for post Death in the Family Bruce who just wants these dumb kids to stop taunting death.

Its unfortunate that canon basically confirms Bruce’s fears with Stephanies death and its mildy infuriating how fandom treats it.

I cant speak for all of “Bruce friendly circles” (love that btw) but thats what ive seen more of, when their relationship is even discussed. I personally prefer fics that focus on her being Spoiler, and more independent of Bruce because of it - like Robin was an internship for a position she ultimately rejected, because it wasnt something she wanted. Also Barbara being more of her Batman with Batman being support staff. If that makes sense.

Was there a “good” or “understandable” reason Bruce acted like that? Grief, fear at what could happen if he let Stephanie keep vigilanting, Steph being unwilling to operate within Robin rules after being independent, and the usual “can you please go to bed its a school night” could work if you retconn his worse moments tbh. Was there a good or understandable reason Bruce was written like that? Misogyny and the inability to conceive of a female character who doesnt need him.

Im not actually sure i answered your question so Fic recs that include those big rewrites i mentioned: Blackbird by goldkirk, First as Tragedy, Second as Farce by autumngray

[siryouarebeingmocked]

Safin has no plan.

He had one. He just didn't explain it, to reduce any chance of Bond foiling it.

Bond's death is confusingly overwrought and silly. Is he really mortally wounded? Is he committing suicide because of the nanobots; he's not even going to try to find a workaround? Does he have no choice but to sacrifice himself?

Maybe, no, and no.

Remember, the nanobots transfer and reproduce infinitely until they find their target and anyone who gets near them. Bond has absolutely no way to get away and get help without risking Madeline and Mathilde.

There's rumors that it was originally a weaponized virus before COVID, which would explain why he presumably can't EMP himself.

Also, she was obviously his kid, come on. Why bother frontin'? For extra drama?

Why is it so important that the naval bombardment happens right now? They're the British Navy--they can't just seize these cargo ships full of bioweapons that everyone's so scared of?

The entire operation was already incredibly shady and possibly illegal. That's what 00s are for, really. It's a lot easier to just destroy the bioweapons instead of trying to capture them.

Especially when any nation would give their eyeteeth for a programmable bioweapon. They also need to cover up the UK's involvement.

Incidentally, the Ministry of Defense worked with the film's production.

scientist death

Yeah, that was stupid.

He was just a generic unsympathetic white Eastern European dude. The closest he gets to having a single sympathetic trait is when we learn his coworkers prank him. Like l2, except at least Boris was a good friend of Natalya, could be determined, and was pretty charismatic (because Alan Cumming).

Also, killing people in cold-blood is, again, what 00s are really for. Naomi had to decide between dragging him along (which would probably get her or both of them killed), or denying the enemy resources so she could finish the rest of the mission.

I don't have a problem with the broad strokes, but why racism? Why is he such an unlikeable jerk? Were they trying to avoid making him like Boris?

Fix Point 2: This sounds an awful lot like MGSV.

Which is not necessarily a bad thing.

Fix Point 3: Nomi needs an arc.

Some endpoint where she realizes what it really means to be a 00 (IE murder). I think the original film's works fine, if it weren't for the racism angle. But I don't see any room for it in your version.

Maybe she could bicker with Bond throughout the movie about the need for Heracles, or whether she should even care about justifying it. In your ending, she knows he's right, deep down, but she follows orders for the Greater Good™.

Heck, maybe she has a catchphrase, "realpolitik".

Which she uses just before she fights Bond.

So we'd have a fight where both of them are trying to use Bond-style clever takedowns on each other, while Bond is also fighting off the Marines.

Of course, I doubt the MOD would be okay with the Marines being the unequivocal bad guys.

I think it's fair to say that by the finale, No Time To Die is a complete mess. To wit:

It makes no sense why MI-6 would send two OO agents (one retired) to storm an enemy compound and not the Royal Marines.

Safin has no plan.

Bond's death is confusingly overwrought and silly. Is he really mortally wounded? Is he committing suicide because of the nanobots; he's not even going to try to find a workaround? Does he have no choice but to sacrifice himself? Why is it so important that the naval bombardment happens right now? They're the British Navy--they can't just seize these cargo ships full of bioweapons that everyone's so scared of?

That one scientist declaring he hates black people and then getting killed in cold blood by a black government agent who yells "It's time to die!" is almost schizophrenically dumb--as we all know, civil rights don't apply to bad people--but, you know, pick your battles)

Here are my fixes.

Bond and Nomi aren't the only attackers, they're just sneaking in to lower the defenses from the inside so the Royal Marines can get in and take on Safin's private army. They did this all the time back in the day--including in On Her Majesty's Secret Service, which NTTD hugely references--so I see no reason why Eon can't mount a large-scale battle sequence today.

Safin's plan--as he, of course, explains to Bond--is that he blames pretty much the entire world for collaborating with and enabling Blofeld. Either by being outright under his influence, as is the case with the national leaders and wealthy who were part of Spectre--or by being even average citizens who tolerated corrupt governments and the One Percent. His plan was to demonstrate the efficiency of Hercules on Spectre and then kick off a biological arms race among world governments as everyone scrambles for either Hercules or a counter for Hercules. This will kill millions as Hercules is used, then retaliated against, ad nauseum. It's inevitable. Even now, Nomi is no doubt under orders from M to secure Hercules for further development by the British government. "The bigger picture," Bond mutters, remembering Le Chiffre telling him that he could get away with torturing and killing him.

Bond realizes Safin is right--and kills him, natch--and decides he can't allow ANYONE to take possession of Hercules. It is simply too dangerous a weapon for even his own government to have. He sets the base to self-destruct and defends the control room from the Royal Marines who are now trying to take him out to stop the countdown. Would it be too cynical to give him a 'old versus young' showdown with Nomi? Personally, I think it'd be a better final fight than Bond taking on one tiny nerd, but what do I know? At any rate, M orders the Marines to pull out at the last minute and Bond is presumed killed in the blast, which irrevocably destroys Hercules and all knowledge of how to recreate it.

M is, naturally, pissed about Bond's last act of defiance, but still toasts him and respectfully declares 'Well-played, 007.' We'll leave it ambiguous as to whether Bond actually died or if he survives to reunite with Madelaine, now having completely severed himself from MI-6.

[thebeautyoffanfics]

hello there! your writing is amazing so i was wondring if you could do a tbhk x reader💙💙i was thinking a s/o with really bad social anxiety like.. really bad and they just feel so different because they can see others effortlessly speaking about their presentations or see their classmates confidently performing in drama class. one day a teacher makes a rude comment on it and it just sends them into panic . i struggle with anxiety like this and i need my boy tsukasa and others to comfort me💜💙

tsukasa yugi x gn!reader, kou minamoto x gn!reader, (alive!) mitsuba sousuke x gn!reader

a/n: hihi!! thank you so much for the compliment, and sure thing! i do hope youre doing well, because i know from experience how crippling anxiety can be :(( rude, inconsiderate people like that only make things worse- but!! Tho i can’t do much, i hope these are at least a bit comforting!! You only specified tsukasa, so i threw in a few personal favorites as well, i hope that’s alright <33 if you’d like anyone else, simply let me know! oh and! Thank you so much for requesting <333

please i kinda realized that- whenever i write for kou it’s lowkey biased i just,,,, i love him a lot

warnings: social anxiety

word count: 1,846

Tsukasa Yugi <3

To be completely honest, he doesn’t fully get it. The best he grasps it is “(Y/N) can’t handle social situations”, not meaning it in a derogatory way. Just that it’s something that makes them feel very uncomfortable!

One thing is for sure though! He’ll take it very seriously, and does his best to keep you out of situations that may be less than ideal. He also will fight anyone who pokes fun at you- it isn’t funny, and that’s coming from a boy who practically thrives off of pain. Not your pain though. Nope- no one should dare upset you, or cause you any sort of pain or distress. You’re his precious s/o.

When he sees you getting uncomfortable, Tsukasa is honestly just the type of dude who grabs your hand and drags you away. Heck, it’s not like he wants others talking to you anyway :D! His s/o, not theirs!!

If you aren’t fully in panic, or have calmed down enough, he doesn’t pester you or make a big deal of it. He’ll ask if you’re okay, and sort of… leaves it at that. He doesn’t want you to be reminded of anything upsetting, and he doesn’t want you to feel like you have to talk about it. If you want to, he’ll listen of course.

Tsukasa… isn’t the best comforter. If you start to have a panic attack, he’ll stay with you, sitting next to you and rubbing your back. However, he isn’t sure what to do outside of that. He may try to converse a bit, hoping to maybe distract you? Either way, once you calm down, he’ll ask what he should do, and will very obediently do it. Though Sakura compared him to a cat, he’s almost like a dog at times-

Tsukasa definitely notices if you start comparing yourself to others, and will do his best to stop that. He’ll grab your face in his hands, look you in the eyes, and declare that you’re perfect the way you are!! You can’t help your situation! SO, don’t feel bad!

Of course, having someone say “nooo, don’t do that!” doesn’t automatically fix your problems- while Tsukasa wishes it was that simple, he keeps up his encouraging you whenever you need it.

Oh boy though- the moment he heard those rude words leave your teacher’s mouth, he was ready to throw hands. Like, genuinely, put ‘em up old man/woman/person. Tsukasa isn’t the type to lose his cool when it comes to anger- it’s more weird/strange things for him, y’know- but he’s genuinely angry at that.

Yet, because you’re his priority, he does focus on you. He’ll grab your hands, and pull you out of the classroom. Tsukasa will then sit with you, hugging you if you’re okay with it, and rubbing your back.

“Don’t listen to them, (Y/N). That’s so dumb!! You can’t help that!!! They don’t understand, and they aren’t trying, and it’s stupid. I’ll take care of it! I’ll fight ‘til the death-!!!!”

“You’re already-”

“‘TIL THE DEATH.”

Overall, even if he doesn’t intend or realize it, Tsukasa does try to help you through humor. He attempts to comfort you, rubbing your back, telling you the plain facts- that it’s so dumb of your teacher to say something like that, how inconsiderate it is, how it’s ridiculous that they don’t even try to understand where you’re coming from- that you’re perfect the way you are, and you good and well don’t want social anxiety so, my goodness, people need to stop treating it like it’s your choice. But! It’s also a whole lot of rambling, pouty expressions, and hugs-

Kou Minamoto <3

Like Tsukasa, Kou doesn’t fully grasp it. However, he does a lot of research, and will side with you no matter what! He doesn’t see you any different, but he does do his best to keep you 1,000% comfortable. If he notices you getting uncomfortable, he’ll excuse the two of you, and immediately ask if you’re alright.

Bless his sweet little heart, he does worry for you a lot. Whenever you’re uncomfortable, Kou instantly feels uncomfortable as well. So, getting out of those situations is always beneficial for the both of you, pfff-

Although, should you be put in a situation that you can’t slip out of, Kou will try and take over the conversation in your place. Sort of get the attention directed away from you, in hopes that it provides some sort of comfort. As soon as the conversation is over, he’ll do as he always does- turn to you, a precious worried expression on his face, as he asks if you’re alright.

Should you start to have a panic attack, though he’s on edge the entire time- he just wants you to be happy and comfortable after all- he stays with you, and looks surprisingly calm. He’ll place a hand on your shoulder, or hold you if you’d like. Kou will do breathing exercises in hopes that it calms you down, and is so proud of you once you’re back.

After moments like those, he’ll also run to get you water, then sit with you for as long as you need. He doesn’t mind if you just want to sit in silence, but he’ll probably sit there carrying a conversation primarily with himself. Consider it… background noise, I suppose? He understands if you don’t feel like talking, or even listening, and won’t hold anything against you. It’s mainly a way for him to calm down, to be honest- good ol’ nervous rambling.

Much like Tsukasa, Kou will admittedly fight someone for you. Is he a precious boy, who wouldn’t want to hurt a human? Yeah, of course! Is a human anything more than an evil supernatural in his eyes, should they intentionally upset you? Nope, of course not!

Kou usually sits next to you in classes, simply because he’s your friend and boyfriend. However, in that moment, it provided him enough to know whether you’re alright or not.

Kou’s face the moment he heard those words leave the teacher’s mouth was pure… confusion- anger- the perfect “?!” expression. He wasn’t focused on what he looked like though- he was focused on you. That was enough to hurt his feelings, so he couldn’t imagine what you were feeling.

At seeing that pure panic on your face, Kou stood up, and stepped over to you. He grabbed your hand, carefully ushering you out of the room, offering the teacher nothing more than an, avoiding eye contact and barely turning himself to face the teacher, “excuse us.” He couldn’t give two cares about whether or not it’d get him in trouble. Right now, the teacher was scum, and you needed to get out of there.

Kou would sit with you, comforting you in the same way he did any other time, hugging you and rocking back-and-forward slightly, hoping that it helped. If it didn’t, he’d sit back, still offering any other forms of comfort he could. Once you calmed down as best you could, Kou would hug you/tighten the hug (if it was alright with you) and, similarly to Tsukasa, tell you plain facts.

“I promise you, (Y/N), what they said isn’t true. It’s inconsiderate. It’s- not right. You’re doing your best, and if they can’t see that, then- then? I… I don’t know. They should keep their mouth shut and try to understand. Put themselves in your shoes… I’m sorry- I’m sorry that you had to deal with that, (Y/N). I’m really sorry.”

Mitsuba Sousuke <3

He’s your #1 defender. It’s well-known that Mitsuba isn’t afraid to speak his mind- and is also pretty good at making someone feel guilty. He’d never use that skill on you, of course. He saves it specially for jerks that provoke you like that.

He doesn’t personally suffer from social anxiety, but he does understand it better than the other two. It’s completely rational in his eyes. He understands it just fine, and it frustrates him when others don’t. It especially frustrates him when others don’t even attempt to understand.

Mitsuba isn’t extremely fond of talking with others- once he befriends you, he sort of keeps to you and him. He’s content with that as well, and honestly dislikes it when others try and intrude on that. People like Kou or Kou’s friends are slight exceptions, but none of them are as close to him as you are. No one tries to understand him like you do- and he likes to think he understands you a bit more than they might.

When you get uncomfortable, Mitsuba will tell the other person directly that they’re disturbing the two of you, and that they should hurry up, or simply go along on their way. Like I said, Mitsuba isn’t afraid to speak his mind, even if his mind is a bit ruder than others’. Heck, if someone doesn’t get the very obvious hint, he'll put it even blunter for their small minds to understand. All in all, he doesn’t want you to be uncomfortable, and uses his questionable social skills to his advantage.

Despite his ability to get you out of situations, he isn’t the best at dealing with the panic that results from the situations. He does have a decent grasp on what he should do, but his slight tsundere tendencies make it difficult.

So! Mitsuba will sit there, next to you, probably with his shoulder pressed against yours. He sort of… talks you through a panic attack? He isn’t entirely sure how to help you out of one, but he’s decent enough at keeping you grounded. Plus, even if he doesn’t help tremendously, he at least shows that he cares. Heck, if he’s feeling generous, he may even place a fleeting kiss on your shoulder as a “reward.”

One thing especially keeping him tied with the other boys, is he’s fuming the moment your teacher makes that comment. As soon as the words leave his mouth, Mitsuba is sitting there, practically forcing himself to keep some sort of composure.

“Tch. The crap? What kind of audacity do you have to disregard a student’s mental health. What’s wrong with you? How would you feel if I made a comment on your receding hairline, hm? Oh? Oh, that’s not something you can help, hm? Well, whether it can get through your thick skull or not, (Y/N) can’t help it either. So, unlike your forehead, which will continue- why don’t we leave it at that?”

Mitsuba doesn’t really bother to excuse the two of you- heck, after that, he’s already confident he’s in deep trouble. It’s not as if he cares though- no, he’s perfectly content, as he takes your hand and guides you out of the classroom.

Mitsuba, as he usually does, sits with you, letting you cry as much as you need. “Don’t worry, (Y/N). If that much didn’t get through to them, I have a few more choice words I’d be glad to share. No matter what, it’s not your fault, and I’ve got your back.”

[kanohivolitakk]

Regarding the future of this account

Hello everyone. I hope you all are doing well, and are having a good weekend.

This past week and all the drama and situation in the community has been...rough for me. I don’t want to use the t-word, because I feel using such serious word about something as stupid as a freaking defunct toyline aimed at little boys is pretty insensitive and hurtful. But I still have to be honest with myself: The Greg situation and the drama surrounding it has honestly killed my mood when it comes to Bionicle.Not to the point it has destroyed my interest in the franchise or the good will I have towards the community (or at least parts of it that don’t suck like Bonkle tumblr and a few discords). but enough that I feel I really need to take a break from the fandom for a while. I’m currently just extremely upset at everything going on, and I know that from past fandom experiences it’s best for me to take a break from the community before I burn out and destroy my interest for good, or at least  to the point I have to take a long LOOONG break. Way longer than I want to take.

But like I said, I’m not going to leave the community. Part of this is because I really like feeling in this part of internet is one where I like being. While I don’t always see it, I have affected this little space in the fandom for the better, made quite a few friends and just had a good time. This is a fun little place and I find it a haven, a place to belong. But not only because of that. Bionicle is very near and dear to me, one of my favorite series if not my absolute favorite. And I still have a lot of things to say: lots o meta, analysis, headcanons and OCs to talk about, and even a few fan projects I’m working on, both to myself and larger projects. But in order for me to be able to do what I want to do I need to be in a good mental state where I feel happy talking about this franchise, and not where I feel like a trainwreck and deeply upset whenever I even do as little as think about this series. Which is where I could easily be if I force myself being into the series instead of letting me recover of this whole ordeal.

So this is what I plan to do: I plan to make a few posts regarding the situation that I had started on wedensday, but not finished them for one reason or another. Once I’m done with the posts, I will take a break from the series for a few weeks. I will try to not post, engage with discussions or go t the series tag. Heck, if possible, I will avoid to think of the series during this time. Once I feel I’m in a good mental space with the franchise I will come back to the community. When that is, I cannot say. Could be in a week, could be in two weeks, could be in a month or two. I just know if I force being into the series right now instead stepping back, t could tarnish my enjoyment of it. Perhaps even permanently.

Will I stop posting this time. Honestly no. I plan to post about a few other things, whether it be talking about games I am currently playing, or other series I’m into. I plan to play Triangle Strategy, and writing posts about that,as well as making a few meta posts and commentaries. Who knows, Imay make a few posts of some AUs and OCs unrelated to Bionicle. But I will completely try to avoid Bionicle related stuff for the time being. Because right now I feel that if I ever want to interact with the franchise and community the same way I used to, I need to heal and rest from the whole situation before I even make a post about how much I wish Nidhiki and Lariska held hands.

So that’s my plans now. Making a few more posts regarding the Greg situation,rest for a while after that, posting about other fandoms during my rest and then returning to the community to post about Bionicle when I feel I’m ready to post again. I love this little tumblr family we have here and wish you all the best. Take care, my friends <3.

With love: Kirika

[marinetteplztakeabreak]

ML Lies Episode Predictions:

There’s Two?? (don’t trust my math) more days before lies completely destroys me, so I’m going to make some predictions, and by predictions I mean wishlist. My walls are already up, so if none of these happen I won’t be disappointed, but also a girl can dream: (this is somehow 1700 entire words long because I have a lot of feelings, so it’s under a cut, you’re welcome)

—Adrien and Kagami’s are secretly dating: please I want it so bad, I’ve talked about this so much and emotionally I need it!! At the very least I want them to sneak out together so so bad I’d cry. But also, if they’re hiding it from their other friends for whatever reason, thats SUCH good angst potential.

—If we get to see some kinda montage of them sneaking out??? Id ride that high for months. Even just one actual example of them working together to sneak out would obliterate me. Like, how it shows Kagami sneaking out to go to the game in Ikari Gozen?? I’d cry

—The breakup happens as a direct result of it being a secret relationship: this would be SUCH a good parallel to lukanette. Lukanette broke up because Luka wanted Marinette to be more open with him and he hated being in the dark, so just, the parallels if Adrien wants to be more open about adrimi and Kagami is like “you dont understand, if your dad finds out about us he will end this immediately” but Adrien wants to believe that its going to be okay and no one will react badly? I’m probably explaining this badly and I’ll try to explain it better later I just,,, want parallels and opposites and truth v lies and hhhhh

—Fencing??? Friendly/ affectionate competition??? Them being idiot jocks in love??? Please??? I want to see them compete!!

—I’d love to see Kagami character growth + Adrimi relationship development!!! I want her to love herself more and be more comfortable around him!!!

—Specifically, if there was a parallel to Riposte,, and Adrien beat Kagami in a fencing match and Kagami was like “Oh nice!! :D good game!” I’d be so happy I’d cry!! And it’s kinda implied by Chat Blanc that they’re already there in there relationship?? But not confirmed?? So if I saw it or saw confirmation of it I’d cry!!

—in one of the released photos it looked like they were holding hands??? And at this point my expectations are so low I don’t even trust it yet but blease,,, let them hold hands,, i’d cry of joy

—If Adrien is also constantly leaving and disappearing due to akuma responsibilities, I want it to read SUPER differently from the Lukanette because I love parallels/foils!! Marinette disappears on her dates with Luka and its just “oh marinette is really distracted and busy and frazzled” but I dont think Adrimi but be loke that at all!!! Because as far as Kagami knows, she has the same backstory/current story as Adrien. She’s risking a lot by sneaking out to go on dates with him?? So Adrien seeing an akuma and being like “oh sorry father is calling” isnt even suspicious or anything??? Its 100% believable!!! If her mother called she’d immediately be like “oh fricking heck i Need To Leave this instant immediately.” So its less “Adrien doesnt care about her” and more of just twisting the knife and reminding her that life doesnt want them to be together and Adrien is never going to be free!!! Big ouch to her heart!!!

—also I want!!!! Them!!! To talk about their feelings!!! Because parallels to truth!!! Adrien is like “sorry I have to go” and Kagami is like “oh I hate that so much” and Adrien is like “big same.” (Also idk how realistic this is but I’d love it if ‘Kagami talking about her feelings’ wasn’t the cause of strife in their relationship!! Like, she talks about how she feels and when she’s upset and Adrien is like “yeah me too” and they’re just,, good bros)

—I need them to stay friends after the breakup, i need it i need it i need it!!! And the whole issue is!! I feel like the main reason they’d date is to try and hang out more?!?? So if the breakup was actually them talking to each other and being like “hey so this isnt working with sneaking out, we’re going to need to go back to the way it was before,” rather than them saying they were bad for each other???? Hoo boy i’d lose my mind

—Also!!! My favorite prediction, I’d die of joy if this happened (and also of angst). I want there to be so much drama with “secret relatinship” stuff that they try to fix it by going public with their relationship!! Very low chance of this actually happening but its okay if it doesnt, thats what the fanfiction I’m inevitably going to write immediately after watching the episode is for!!! But anyway,, multiple ways this could happen.

Maybe they’ve been secretly dating since Miracle Queen and they decide to go public at the beginning of this episode and that’s the primary source of plot/conflcit!!! I’d be thrilled!!!

BUT!!! if the episode ends with then Not Breaking Up, but instead deciding to go from dating secretly to dating publicly???? Holy Freaking Heck,,, I’d go feral with emotion!!!! I also need to expand on this so much more but basic rundown of how I imagine it could happen (again: Is it likely?? Probably not! but this is my last chance to dream):

Kagami is like “listen we have the same backstory and I KNOW in my soul that this relationship wouldn’t work if it was public”

Adrien is like “okay yeah I feel you, thats fair”

Kagami goes on dates with Adrien and its fun and nice and lovely and the honeymoon phase is so good and exciting

Adrien starts disappearing a lot, partly because of akuma attacks, but partly because of nathalie and gabe calling him constantly

Adrien starts to be like “well actually i think that my dad does care about me probably? And if he knew why I wanted to go he’d let me! Or at least Nathalie would because clearly she cares about me!”

Kagami is like “hhhnngg have you met them?? You think they’d want you to be happy and free??” Except she can’t just SAY that because if she did then she’d be crushing Adrien’s entire heart and possibly also making him get really defensive and he has to come to the conclusion that his parents are good on his own

Kagami also starts to get frustrated with how much more often Adrien has to leave than she does?? And its because of akuma attacks but she doesnt know that and he cant tell her

Adrien starts to get frustrated because he can take the “having to leave for akuma attacks” part but when he finally finishes an akuma battle and Natalie immediately calls him it is just aaaaaAAAAAAAA and he just wants to believe so badly that he could at least take control of that part??? He could at least get Nathalie to help him out??? Probably maybe right???

Because we all know he HATES having to keep secrets from Ladybug, but he’ll do it for her, and he’ll keep his life as Chat a secret, but Kagami??? He should at least be able to talk about that, right?? He’s not doing anything bad/dangerous/etc

Also there could very well be some angst with Adrien being so so worried about Nathalie because she’s bedridden and his dad is being sketchy and he’s SEEN this before and he doesn’t want to be avoiding Natalie or lying to her because what if he loses her too??? He’d feel so guilty! And he needs the support of a parent figure so much,,, so he HAS to tell her the truth

But he respects Kagami’s wishes and he’s not going to betray her trust

But unlike Lukanette, they DO talk about their feelings and they disagree and stuff, and even if he’s trying not to be confrontational, Kagami is like “i can tell youre uncomfortable about something, please just tell me what it is” so he tells her that he disagrees

Kagami gets akumatized?? idk if it’s even been confirmed that she’s the akuma “Lies” but I’d assume she is because parallels to Lukanette

Maybe it happens as a direct result of some moment where Kagami and Adrien are arguing and in the heat of the moment he says something hurtful??

Maybe they’re arguing and then Adrien has to leave before it can resolve and Kagami is mad about it even though shes trying not to be and she gets akumatized???

Maybe she does say something like “bc your dad sucks and nathalie sucks!” and he yells or something (i want to see Adrien yell and be flawed let me live, and this is one of the most likely scenerios for it to happen bc it would HURT for him)

Maybe Kagami shoots back with anger, maybe Adrien’s been calm but Kagami gets mean for a moment, but regardless, Kagami says something about her true feelings of anger at nathalie/gabe/ etc and before Adrien can respond he’s like “oh shoot sorry I need to get home NOW”

Then for one brief second Kagami’s TERRIFIED that he’s going to tell nathalie about this in his anger and then nathalie’s going to be like “oh kagami is clearly bad for you because she made u this upset” and Adrien will LISTEN because hes stupid and he still listens to his horrible adult figures and Kagami is so mad about the entire situation so then in her moment of weakness she gets akumatized

Look at that its a direct opposite of Lukanette because Luka was afraid of Marinette keeping secrets about why she’s always vanishing because he doesnt know and Kagami is afraid of Adrien telling secrets about why HEs always vanishing bc she thinks she does know,,

But anyway, after she gets de-akumatized, she’s so ashamed of it and she can see how far she took it and how many people it hurt,, and Adrien is really sad and apologetic and trying to support her,, and she’s like “no clearly I was actually wrong, keeping this a secret is hurting you and its hurting me and now its hurting random civilians”

So she tells Adrien that they should tell people about it and stop dating in secret

And then multiple possible ending:

Does he say “actually no, youre right, they wouldnt let this happen, so if we cant date in public and dating in secret is hurting us then we shouldnt date at all” and thats how the breakup goes??? That would literally obliterate me

Does the episode end on a false positive where Adrien hasnt told them yet and he is like “yeah this is gonna be great” and there isnt an actual breakup yet?? Because that would also kill me (even though i doubt theyre going to let adrimi take up that much time in the show but, let me dream)

Also if Adrien is like “we shouldnt tell my parents but we should tell someone” and then they tell Marinette and now shes got ANOTHER secret to keep and aaaaaaaAAAAA?? Id die on the spot

I’m still holding out hope that the episode will give me enough crumbs to at least be able to write this better, but regardless of what happens in the episode,,, the chances of me eventually writing fanfiction exploring this are SO HIGH, I’ve been thinking about this for ages

In conclusion:

—no matter what happens in lies, its going to destroy me

—please let them be in a secret relationship it makes so much sense for their characters and for the drama and aaaaAAAAA

—also please give me the parallels to lukanette where their issues are exactly the opposite and it still falls apart

Thank you for your time, I’ll be excitedly vibrating at the speed of sound for the next two days until we get answers!! Depending on how the episode goes, I’ll either be writing so much adrimi fluff to recover,, so much adrimi angst to vent,, or I’ll be staring at the ceiling screaming for a few days as I post nothing but keysmashes and try to sort through my emotions :)

[geordiewrites]

Hey i just read exile inspired fic and it is soo good. I think you should write one based on the song tolerate it by ts? With harry plz. The drama, fight, tears.. I think you will reflect the emotion so well omg.

Tolerate It | Harry Potter

A/N: Hi lovely! First off, I adored this request so much and I really hope I’ve done it justice. Tolerate It is such a beautiful song and defo one of my favourites off of Evermore to cry to, there’s just so much detail hidden within the lyrics and I adore that. Harry too!! There’s not enough stuff for Harry, so I hope I’ve done well for you! ( Also this is super short, but I’ve been swamped with coursework xox )

Summary: Y/N is in love with The Boy Who Lived, and due to marry him in the Spring with a beautiful April wedding. Friends to lovers to that engaged couple who are just too in love to function, they share the most perfect story. But when Y/N begins to see their relationship for what it is, her entire world is thrown off key...

Warnings: angst and lots of it, loneliness, sadness, swearing.

~

“You’re coming home tonight, right?” Y/N asks, excitement and anticipation heavy in her tone, cherry red nails clicking against the cold metal of the answerphone.

“Of course, I’ll be back soon, love.” Harry Potter, her beloved fiancé, answered back on the other side from his workplace all the way in central London. His office is almost empty, devoid of any homely photos or colleagues: they had all gone home to their families long ago, and yet he stayed behind. He had no work to finish, no cases glaring to be solved. There was nothing to do but leave, but Harry didn’t.

“You’ve said that before.” Y/N pointed out blandly, her forced smile fading slightly. Many times had Harry said he was on his way home, only to send a letter the next morning apologising for suddenly getting swamped with unavoidable paperwork. “Please come home Harry, I’ve even made your favourite for dinner.”

“That sounds good, I promise I’ll be there soon. I’m just leaving the Ministry now.” Harry replied monotonously, not sounding nearly as happy as Y/N wished he would. Perhaps he had just had a bad day at the office, he must have done. But he had just one too many bad days now, and the reality that he might not want to see her was beginning to sink in.

Shaking off that horrible thought, Y/N inhaled a sharp breath and chewed the edge of her top lip. “Alright, if you say so. I’ll see you then.”

“Bye.” Harry said shortly before putting the phone down and staring at his office, desperately trying to find a reason to stay at work. He did love Y/N, he did. Heck, he had even asked her to marry him and kissed the edge of her lips as they set the date. And then postponed it. And then postponed it another year after that, all because of some urgent work that Harry had suddenly come across. He was just so young, forced to grow up so quickly he didn’t even have time for a scrap of a childhood. Maybe that was why he didn’t want to see Y/N, why going home to their apartment often felt like a chore.

Back at their cosy flat in the nicer part of Greenwich, Y/N put the phone down after hearing an abrupt beep on the other end that let her know he had hung up. She sighed before walking over to a tall cabinet that stood to the side of their kitchen, taking out a set of nice china plates her Grandmother had left her and crystal wine glasses. It was the lovely cutlery only used for things like Christmas and obligatory dinner parties her family forced her to hold.

After setting it out on the table, Y/N checked the time and supposed that if Harry really had left as he said, he would be back in just a minute through the wonders of apparation. Carefully so she wouldn’t somehow spill the food in her clumsiness, a quality Harry once said he loved about her, Y/N moved the food from the oven, to plates and then through to their front room where the fancy cutlery was set up. A smile made its way onto her face, a beaming, gorgeous smile of confidence that her and Harry would finally have the night she deserved. One where work or his reluctance to put effort into their relationship, even if she did pretend she knew nothing about this, didn’t get in the way.

Alas however, minutes passed and there was no sign of Harry anywhere. The food grew colder and that wonderful, rare smile of hers faded into an all too comfortable frown, the crease between her eyebrows deepening with not only disappointment, but anger. A growing resentment for Harry’s lack of care or even acknowledgement of their engagement. He didn’t seem to give two hoots that she had made a lovely meal; after all, he had only called it ‘good’. Not fabulous or decadent or even something praiseful. Just good.

They hadn’t said ‘I love you’ before they hung up the phones. Harry had only said one word. Y/N’s mind began to spiral, her breathing growing quicker and sharper as the thought that it might be time to confront Harry about the buildup of letdowns over the course of the last few months. A year even, since he had properly spent time at home. At their home, the one in which he had knelt down on one knee and told her he wanted to grow old with her by his side, failing at muggle card games on the front porch as they watched their grandchildren play.

Not knowing exactly what to do, Y/N retreated to grasping at the doorframe to keep her body from tumbling to the ground. Her mind whirred with the usual possibilities to try and chase away his lateness. Got caught at work, perhaps Ron called. But none of it compared to the looming threat that Harry was scraping any old excuse together in order to stay away. That he was lying, something she never thought she would have to think about him doing. Harry had always been such an honest person, even as a child.

Y/N remembered how nervous he was when he first asked her out during their fifth year at Hogwarts. He had been on this disastrous date with some Ravenclaw she couldn’t quite remember the name of, and come back utterly defeated. Feeling sorry for a friend she had always harboured a crush on, Y/N had stayed up all night convincing him something better was around the corner. It occurred to Harry quite quickly after that that Y/N was that somebody. She liked him, and at the time that was enough to make him think he was in love. To some degree he was, but not nearly as much as Y/N had fallen for him.

It was almost midnight when the front door to their apartment clicked with the turn of a key, and Y/N, still standing in the same sad place by the door to their living room, finally saw Harry step into their home. It had been hours since they were supposed to eat the food that Y/N had worked to hard to create. There it still sat however, with the plates and crystal glasses and unopened bottle of wine in the same place, completely untouched.

Y/N had a thousand things to say to him. Usually it would begin with her asking him where he had been galavanting off to, but not tonight. Tonight was the final tear in her elastic heart, just enough to finally make it tear into two broken, hollowed out pieces. She stood, silent and just watched as he took off his shoes and put his coat back in it’s place without saying anything. Harry wasn’t even trying anymore, and that hurt more than him being late to begin with.

“Sorry for the delay, something came up.” Harry said, standing a few metres away from her. There was no affectionate kiss to the forehead like when they were fresh out of Hogwarts with teenage dreams and ambitions. No arm comfortably slung around her waist in a protective manner. Y/N missed that especially out of all the things that had faded away. That simple gesture that showed he wanted to hold her above all else, above everyone else who had ever wanted to touch the Chosen One like she did.

“Something.” Y/N repeated, no emotion in her voice. It sounded almost like a recording being played back to him, just with any tone sucked away. “It’s always something, isn’t it?” She continued, not finding quite the right words to encompass the flummox of emotions seeping into her veins. “Work. Ron called. Hermione called. Work. Work again.”

“There really was something.” Harry pathetically added. It was a lie of course, he had spent the hours at his desk alone and staring aimlessly at a fountain pen as it leaked ink onto the black carpet of his office.

“Do you really think I don’t know you at all? Stop lying to me, Harry, just stop it. I’m done with being lied to.” Y/N says, her voice remaining as monotonous as ever as if she’s already grieving something. “I want to know what was so important that you’ve missed the dinner I made. The last thirty dinners, in fact.”

Harry just runs a hand through his messy hair as he tries desperately to think of something to say. But he can’t. There’s nothing to say that would make him any less guilty.

“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He manages to whisper.

“You’ve said that already.” Y/N points out without missing a single beat. She’s exhausted of pretending that she doesn’t know what Harry’s been doing, drained of all energy to put in effort anymore.

“Just tell me what the problem is and we can fix it.” He begs, but his voice is shaky and the words sound as though he’s reading them from a script.

“Fine. When did you stop being in love with me?” Y/N asks, sadness seeping into her voice. Tears began to form in her eyes but were quickly blinked away; the last thing she wanted was for Harry to see her as weak. She might be pathetic, pitiful, stupid for not realising earlier... but Y/N was not going to be weak. Not now, not ever.

“Why would you think that? Y/N, I could never stop loving you.” Harry said, trying to wrap her into a hug only for Y/N to quickly wriggle out of his cold grasp. His fingers left icy burns where they had briefly touched her arm, and Harry’s face dropped as he realised she didn’t want him anywhere near her.

“But you have, Harry. Otherwise you wouldn’t be coming home at ridiculous times, or avoiding even looking at me like you are now. You don’t love me, you tolerate me because you don’t want to be alone. I feel like I’m begging to be in the footnotes in the story of your life, not a main character anymore.” Y/N explained quietly, neither expecting her to be so frank but once the blunt words were spilling from her lips, not even she could stop them. She watched as Harry’s face crumpled, sadness twisting her gut as she fervently tried not to cry herself.

“Y/N... I don’t know what to say.” Harry trailed off. Y/N used to be so infatuated with him, so desperately in love that she was blind to his flaws, much like his ridiculous fan base. But she had grown up from the teenager with a crush to a young woman with heart and with ambitions, and Harry was no longer apart of what she wanted out of life. She had stopped being a part of his long ago, she just hadn’t realised it then.

“Is this in my head? Tell me I’ve got it wrong somehow, Harry. Because please believe me, I could do it. I could leave.”

“I can’t.” Harry finally said. “I did love you once, Y/N. I’m not even sure what happened to us if I’m being completely honest.”

“That’s the problem: you don’t really even want me to stay. But that’s the thing... you built an entire new wizarding world after you defeated You-Know-Who, and where was I? I’m sorry for being dramatic and shit but I’m taking this dagger out and finally going where I need to be.” Y/N continued, not pausing as not to give him any time to ask her to stay, not that he would. Her mind was made up, and even Harry could see that.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” Harry whispered, his voice trailing off as Y/N went to get her coat from a peg just beside their front door.

“It’s alright, really. I know you don’t hate me, but both of us know this isn’t working anymore. I deserve someone who celebrates me and my love, and that isn’t you. I’m not really sure that it ever was.” Y/N said, a sad smile gracing her delicate features. She looked almost relieved. Utterly broken-hearted, but relieved all the same. “I’ll come back for my stuff tomorrow.”

“You’re leaving me?” Harry said. Even though she had told him why, it still came as a shock. Y/N nodded. “I’m so sorry I didn’t treat you how you deserve.”

“I’m sorry about that too.” Y/N replied, both warmly and coldly at the same time. “Goodbye, Harry Potter. All the best.”

“Goodbye.” It was all Harry could fathom to say as she pressed her engagement ring back into his hand, the final recognition of their relationship officially being over. It was a beautiful piece of jewellery, one she at one point she thought she would never take off her finger. There were no more words exchanged about the gesture for none were needed, all had been said already.

One simple word that locked the door on their relationship, the one that Y/N had finally gained the courage to close in the first place. It had taken her so long, so pathetically long, to realise that something wasn’t right. That Harry was meant to love her, that love shouldn’t and can’t survive while being one sided. It shouldn’t have to be tolerated, and Y/N had finally learned that through all those lonely nights of wondering where Harry was, what he was getting up to at work, if he even was there.

But as Y/N’s grandma used to tell her every Christmas, as one door closes, another always opens.

-

A/N: hoped you liked it anon!!!

Nancy xx

[fleetingpieces]

My One in a Million Chapter 4

Tagging @donttouchmycarrots and @sunflowerfox87 who I still can’t believe wanted to be tagged 🥺 

Thank you so much everyone for your support ��️

And as always, thank you @inloveoknutzy and Nayla for proofreading, you guys are the best  ❤️

My One in a Million Masterlist

Chapter 4 - Morning routines

The feeling of the earth on his bare feet. Long nights playing video games with his friends. Streaming for his fans. Slow sunsets and starry nights. Having the gang at his flat all the time. Relaxing bubble baths. Sunday lunch with the Potters. Making the people who doubted him shove their words up their asses.

Those were all things Sirius Black loved.

Having his brother drilling him at 7 am on an otherwise perfect Friday morning was most definitely not one of them. Not at all.

“I told you a thousand times already, and I’ll say it again one last time. I am not. Going. To that stupid. Fucking. Dinner,” he practically yelled over the phone.

There was a tired sigh on the other end of the line.

“Sirius, please. Could you stop thinking only about yourself for once? They want you to come.” A short pause. “I want you to come.”

Sirius grunted lowly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“No, Reg. I gave them too much already. I can’t keep giving them more. I’m sorry.” He hung up before Regulus could get another word in and raked both hands through his hair.

Manipulative pieces of crap. They ‘wanted him to come’? What a fucking pile of shit. They had never wanted him there, they only wanted whatever they could get from him, asking for more, more and more, until they could suck him dry. They wouldn’t even be bothering with him if he was of no use to them.

Saying no to Regulus was the hard part. Knowing they were using him precisely because of this, that Regulus himself was using it against him, was almost like a knife twisting in his gut. 

It hurt.

It hurt so fucking much, because Sirius still cared about him. He was still his little brother, despite the decisions they had both taken for their lives. But Regulus didn’t see it that way.

Sirius started pacing up and down his room, rubbing a hand through his face as his other went instinctively to his back pocket to grab a pack of cigarettes. He hated feeling like this, hated the push and pull that came with his family’s relationships; craving the acceptance of his own blood, wanting to be close to his brother, but also feeling like he needed to get as far from them as he could. Why couldn’t they understand he didn’t want anything to do with the company? Heck, he didn’t want anything to do with most of them, he only kept some sort of contact because of Regulus. Even if his brother didn’t really want anything to do with him.

A flash of pain slashed him in the middle of his chest, and Sirius stormed off to the balcony, a fag already between his lips.

Lighting it up felt like lifting some of the weight off his shoulders. He pictured all of his problems in his head and imagined exhaling them with the smoke, drifting away in the morning sky until there was nothing left of them.

Sirius snorted. He wished it was that easy to get rid of all his worries, but his brother’s voice kept whispering in his ears, no matter how many times he watched the smoke dissipate in front of his face, mixing with words that were not Reg’s but still sounded in his voice. Stop thinking about yourself. You’re such a disappointment. We gave you so much, and this is how you repay us? You don’t care about me. You don’t care, you don’t care, you don’t care.

“Ugh, fuck,” Sirius grunted as he leaned on the rail and let his head hang low, pressing his forehead against the cold metal.

A low sound reached him through the fog of noises in his head. It was a song he’d never heard before, its rhythm slow and calming, and Sirius tried to focus on that to clear his mind and make the voice shut up.

He raised his head, looking at the place where it was coming from, only to be faced with a sight that almost made him drop his cigarette six floors down.

The new neighbor, Remus, was behind the glass doors of his balcony, standing on top of a yoga mat, wearing a black tank top and a pair of grey shorts that were dangerously hiking up his thighs in the position he was currently in.

His arms were stretched on top of his head, his toned muscles making the veins in his arms pop, and his broad shoulders working with the slow movements he was making. There was such a peaceful air about him. His eyes were closed and the sun was drawing golden lines that flitted through his hair as he bent down at the waist to touch the floor, leaving his back exposed.

The freckles on Remus shoulders disappeared below the t-shirt, and Sirius desperately wanted to know just how far they reached. He swallowed thickly, unable to look away. It was mesmerizing to watch Remus transition between poses, his lithe body flowing like water. He briefly wondered if the man was as pliable in other ways, but when his heart rate started quickening, Sirius decided he should stop being a creep and allow his neighbor the privacy he deserved. Before he could tear his eyes away though, a black shadow darted into the room and tackled Remus to the floor.

Sirius gripped the rail unconsciously before he realised it was just Remus’ dog, and he was left breathless once more at the image in front of him.

Remus was laughing as the dog nudged him with its head, two of its paws pressed over those powerful shoulders as Remus stroked the fur at its sides. The man’s eyes were crinkled, his curls falling onto his forehead in a tawny mess that was so cute Sirius thought he might die.

Seeing him smiling like that, it reminded Sirius of the Halloween party almost a week ago.

At first, he’d been annoyed about Lily bringing Remus and a stranger into his home, but that was mainly ‘cause Sirius had been on edge about the whole family drama. He had been looking forward to a chill night with his friends, and having outsider eyes at that moment felt like something that would have made him step on eggshells all night to avoid revealing his identity.

But Remus had proved to be as interesting as Sirius had thought him to be the first time they talked, always taking him by surprise with his comments and reactions.

Sirius desperately wanted to know where the hell Remus had learned to play like that. It wasn’t every day that he was beaten by someone that didn’t seem to have a lot of time for games, even if he’d been overly distracted by his toned thigh touching his own leg. Yes, Sirius had had a hard time concentrating, but he hadn’t slacked off. Remus was good. And Sirius wanted to know how.

He was intrigued by the man in so many ways, his interest peaking with every new little thing he noticed: the gaming, the yoga, his weird way of thinking -Sirius chuckled when he remembered how Remus had thought he was a fucking drug dealer-, him showing up at a party wearing a jumper that was a few sizes too big for him, looking so impossibly cuddly and warm; his relationship with his dog, his relationship with that Leo guy.

As Remus nuzzled his nose into the dog’s fur, Sirius thought about the rainbow coloured bracelet on Leo’s wrist. He admired the guy for wearing the flag so proudly, just there in plain sight for everyone to see. Sirius wished he could do the same, to stand tall, out in the open. But the consequences for him were way too high.

A small, annoying part of his brain felt the need to remind him that this didn’t mean Remus liked dudes. But Sirius took comfort in the knowledge that, at the very least, it meant that he was ok with it. That he wouldn’t condemn Sirius for it.

Sirius reached for a new cigarette, even if he was already feeling calmer, and put it between his teeth, taking a second before lighting it. While he played with the flame of his lighter, he wondered how Remus knew about Padfoot. Oh, what he wouldn’t do to know that story.

His heart warmed, not for the first time, at how Remus had defended Padfoot so fiercely, having no idea that he was right there; no idea how much his words meant for Sirius. Remus had understood him incredibly thoroughly for someone that didn’t even know who Padfoot was. That he was sitting right next to him. And Sirius wasn’t sure how to feel about that, but he wanted to find out.

It was no surprise that Remus hadn’t recognized his voice, even though he was clearly a fan. Sirius always hid his accent on his videos to conceal any connection to his family, so his parents wouldn’t intervene and ruin everything.

Suddenly, the music drifting from the room next door changed to a more upbeat one. Remus lifted the black dog up in his arms, something that couldn’t be easy given its size, and hugged it as he started twirling around the room, laughing brightly as he did.

He was dancing. 

With his dog.

And the face he was making, like the animal meant the world to him... How could someone you barely knew be so fucking endearing?

Sirius was still staring when Remus turned around and lifted his head, his eyes locking with Sirius’. He stopped mid-turn, the smile slipping from his face. Sirius felt a blush prickling at his cheeks at being caught basically ogling him, but he waved with an awkward smile.

His only answer was a scowl, even if from afar he could tell Remus was blushing too. He set the dog down, glaring at Sirius, who let his hand drop slowly as he watched the man close the curtains in a slash.

Sirius hid his face in his hands, feeling the heat radiate from his cheeks. How could he fuck up so much? Remus would think he was a fucking creep now. Dragging his hands down, Sirius knew he would have to genuinely step up his game if he wanted to get to know this man.

In the afternoon, Sirius was still pondering ways to get more acquainted with Remus, and coming back empty handed. He didn’t want to just show up at one of his classes, he lived right next door for fucks sake! He should be able to find a way to start up a conversation with him, right? Although Sirius had to admit, he hadn’t seen much of the guy since he’d moved in. Of course, Sirius hadn’t exactly been in the right state of mind to notice him.

But life seemed to be on his side, at least this once. Because when he stepped into the coffee shop where he was meeting up with James and Lily, the first thing he saw was a head of tawny curls.

Barely keeping in his glee, Sirius walked towards Remus, figuring he could just say hi. He stopped dead in his tracks though, when he was just a few steps behind him and he realized Remus was humming the lyrics of An Open Letter to Myself.

“I love that song,” he said without thinking. The man had a lovely voice, sweet and a bit sad, and it made his curiosity peak again.

Remus jolted and turned around with surprised eyes and slightly flushed cheeks, but as gold met silver, his eyebrows dropped quickly over his eyes. Sirius was taken aback by the clear hostility in Remus’ features, which made him stutter as he cleared his throat.

“Sorry, I... I saw you and thought... I… uhm... should come and say hi? So...hi,” Sirius said and immediately groaned inwardly at his stupidity. Since when was he this clumsy? 

“Hello,” Remus said in a polite, detached tone before he turned away.

Sirius took a minute to rearrange his thoughts while he placed his order right after Remus. They got their drinks at the same time, and before Remus could walk away from the shop, Sirius scrambled for something else to say.

“Your dog is beautiful, what’s its name?”

The corner of Remus’ mouth tickled up at the mention of his pet, but it was pushed down almost instantly.

“Cocoa,” he replied reluctantly, and Sirius almost spit his tea.

“Cocoa? That huge ass dog has a cute name like Cocoa?”

Remus rolled his eyes, but he was almost pouting. “I just really like chocolate, ok? Besides, he’s just a pup,” he said as he moved over to add some sugar to his chai latte. Sirius followed.

“A pup?” he said incredulously. “How is that a pup?!”

Remus huffed. “He’s only about two or three years old.”

Sirius stared at him in disbelief. That dog was already past Remus’ knees, and if what he was saying was right, he was probably going to grow some more.

“Did you adopt him?” he asked, tilting his head, thinking about Remus’ choice of words. He was focusing his whole attention on Remus, and that was probably the only reason why he noticed the slight stutter of his hand as he stirred his drink.

“Yeah,” he said in a breath. Sirius thought that would be the end of the conversation, but then -as if he couldn't help himself- Remus added, “he was very young when I found him. He was abandoned and practically left to die; his previous owners must have thought it was too much trouble to raise a wolfdog, and decided to leave him tied up in the woods instead of being decent human beings and finding him an appropriate home.”

There was such disgust in his voice that Sirius took a step back while his heart melted into a puddle. Of course he rescued dogs. Sirius was starting to wonder if this guy was even real. He’d been so thoroughly captivated by him in such a short time, it was a bit scary. Sirius hadn’t felt like this in a very long time. He hadn’t let himself feel like this, it was too risky, and he knew it would be more sensible to leave Remus alone and stay away from him before things got worse, but he had felt drawn to him ever since the Halloween party.

“That’s awful. No one deserves to be treated like that,” he replied softly against his better judgement. If things got worse, he’d deal with that later.

Remus’ head snapped up, and for a moment it looked like he was drowning. Sirius had no idea what had brought that expression to his face, but the only thought in his mind was how desperately he wanted to erase it. 

In hopes of doing so, he tried to change the subject to something lighter. “So, you like games, huh? You really did a number on me the other day. When did you start playing?”

The response he got was not what he’d expected. Remus’ expression hardened, and he turned his gaze away as he discarded the used stick with more force than was probably necessary.

“That’s hardly any of your concern, is it?”

Sirius blinked. And then blinked again. Was he still mad at him?

“Look, I’m really sorry about this morning. I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable or anything, I just-”

“You really think this is all just about this morning?” Remus snapped.

“What?” Sirius was confused. What had he done? He’d made a little fun of Remus the first time they talked, but it hadn’t been that bad, had it? 

“At least you weren’t smoking into my room today,” Remus added with a huff, which made Sirius frown.

He supposed he did smoke quite close to the edge of their balconies, but by the way Remus was talking, he felt like there was more to it. He tried to think of all the interactions they had had so far, but he couldn’t think of anything that would elicit Remus’ anger. His mind drifted to them sitting on his couch with the NHL game, how their shoulders had bumped together playfully, how Remus had even seemed to be comfortable once he got a controller in his hands. It was the only time Remus had acted in a friendly-ish manner towards him, without the scowl that seemed to be permanently weighing down on his brows. But none of his smiles had actually been directed at him, they had all been shared with Leo.

He smiled a lot around the blond, but whenever he was close to Sirius he seemed to be in a bad mood. Sirius hated that.

“What did I do for you to dislike me so much?”

“If you need to ask, it just shows that it’s not even worth answering you.”

Remus turned around and walked briskly to the door, leaving Sirius completely dumbfounded. The door opened just as Remus was reaching for the handle, and he almost bumped into Lily and James, who were coming in. Sirius watched as he nodded at them with a few words, threw one last glare his way, and disappeared in the afternoon sun.

Lily watched him walk away with a confused expression on her face. She glanced at James who just shrugged, and then she looked directly at Sirius with a deep frown. He seemed to be getting a lot of those lately.

“What was that all about?” she asked when they got next to him.

“He hates me, that’s what it was,” Sirius grumbled.

“Why?”

“I don’t know!” Throwing his hands in the air, Sirius stared at Lily like she held all the answers in the world. “He looks at me like I’m the worst person to ever walk the Earth. What did I do to deserve that?”

Lily winced, and Sirius felt his heart freeze where it had melted on the floor.

“Well, apparently, you haven’t been a very good neighbor, have you?” she said gently. Everything started falling into place then, and Sirius suddenly had a pretty good idea what she was talking about. He could be a very self-absorbed prick after a row with his family.

“What can I do?”

“Maybe you should try apologizing first,” she doubted for a second before she kept going. “I’ve heard you broke something important of his on the day you two met.”

“That was him?!” Sirius asked in astonishment, remembering the day he’d knocked someone over in the hall, and ignoring the few heads that turned his way at his raised voice.

“You’re joking, right? You didn’t know?” When Sirius only shook his head, still speechless, Lily stared at him, bewildered. “Sirius, how could you not know?”

“I was so angry at the time Lily, I barely noticed anything I was doing!” Sirius said in a pleading voice. He glanced at James for support, who looked at him in sympathy and understanding. Sirius rubbed a hand over his face. “I just needed to get out of the flat, I couldn’t stand the sight of Reg with his cold eyes and-” Sirius stopped himself, clenching his fists.

It all came back to him. How Regulus had suddenly turned up at his flat, even though he wasn’t supposed to know the address. Even though he hadn’t visited Sirius’ home in five years.

How Reg had looked at him with such clear disappointment, like Sirius was nothing more than a waste of space, and had told him that he was expected to attend the annual Black Enterprises’ gala and fulfill his duty to the family. How he had stated that it was time he stopped acting like a child, with his foolish, selfish dreams, and took his place in the company.

Sirius had never wanted anything to do with the monster corporation that was Black Enterprises. He hated the way they did business and how they treated people, like anyone outside the Black family was trash.

A hand on his shoulder shook him away from his memories before he could spiral down into the hole he’d been in in the weeks before Halloween. Sirius looked up, and found James’ kind hazel eyes.

“It’s ok Pads,” he whispered. “You’re out of there. They have nothing on you, and you owe them absolutely nothing. I’m sure you can fix this.”

Sirius hoped his friend was right.

[inevitably-johnlocked]

You've probably seen me and my asks/reposts/reblogs a few times and if not I mean- Anyways! I'm craving some BAMF! John content bc who wouldn't want that in their life? Also- I really love all that you do for the fandom and your followers. (I was an old Nonny who spoke about being asexual. I was wrong and I mean it happens-) But yeah you are super duper amazing and I hope one day I can do the same for others

Hey Lovely! <3

Aww, it’s okay to change your labels when figure out who you are (I certainly have)! I have a lot of asks from ace nonnies, so I’m not sure which one is yours, hahah. That said, don’t feel bad for identifying as one thing until recently... it’s normal. <3

Ah, yes, we all love a badass mother-fuckin’ John!! I’ve only done one list related to it, so I’ll link to it below :) As always, I encourage everyone to add their own fics to the list below!

Thank you for your kind words, and I hope you enjoy what I’ve got for you! <3

BAMF and/or SOLDIER JOHN

See also: BAMF! But Insecure John

Idiot by Anesthesiologist (T, 1,229 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, TGG AU, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Inner Monologue, John Saves Sherlock, POV Sherlock) – What the heck happened? He remembered the pool and Moriarty, but then what? Had he been dying?

Shooter by Amputation (K+, 1,406 w. || Post-TRF, Suspense, BAMF!John) – The men were trying to rile the other into acting first, it seemed. How boringly predictable and dull this was!

The 3x John Carried Sherlock, and Once ViceVersa by ShinkonoKokoro (K+, 1,673 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Friendship, Three and One, BAMF John, Sherlock Whump, Worried Sherlock, John Gets Shot) – It happens more than he suspects.

In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, 1,835 w., 1 Ch. || Humour) – John's BAMFness and Sherlock's damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.

Coming Full Circle by KCS (K+, 2,358 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate TGG, Friendship, Drama, Violence/Death References, Drugging/Poisoning, Kidnapping, BAMF John, Moriarty POV, Introspection) – Moriarty had John for almost six hours between his abduction and the showdown at the pool - more than enough time to implement a Plan B for his escape should Sherlock call his bluff with the fake bomb vest.

Butterfly, Pinned Under Glass by billiethepoet (E, 4,648 w., 1 Ch. || Possessive Sherlock, Jealousy, Barebacking, BAMF!John) – It started as a desire to keep John safe and whole, and ended up as just desire.

Stranded by BeautifulFiction (T, 5,798 w., 1 Ch. || First Kiss, Communication / Relationship Discussion, Pining Sherlock, Sherlock POV, BAMF John, Doctor John, Case Fic, Drinking, Huddling For Warmth, Friends to More) –  When stranded on a derelict barge at high tide, John and Sherlock reconsider their friendship.

The Death of Doubt by Gingerhermit (E, 6,584 w., 1 Ch. || Alternate Canon, BAMF John, POV Sherlock, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Hurt/Comfort, Angst/Drama, Meddling Mycroft) – Mycroft asks for John’s help in rescuing Sherlock from his Serbian captors.

High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, 7,429 w., 1 Ch. || Jealous John, Miscommunications / Misunderstandings, First Kiss / Time, BAMF John, Insecure Sherlock, Clueless Sherlock, POV John, Embarrassed John, Adorable Sherlock, Junk Size, UST / RST) – John pressed the knuckle of his index finger against his mouth and sighed. “So, you're coiled like a spring and ready to be ... sprung?” “If you want to be pedestrian about it, yes.” “Like I said, you should do something about that.” “And like I said, pedestrian. What would you have me do? Take up jogging? Yoga? Oh! Unless you mean –” “I don't mean anything. Let’s drop it.”

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

Every Night I Look for You by destinationtoast (E, 8,377 w., 1 Ch. || POV John, Post-TRF, Angst, Mystery, Unsafe Sex, BAMF John) – Every night, John looks for familiar hints of Sherlock in the men he meets in bars, and he does with them all the things he wishes he’d done before. Eventually, he stumbles into a situation that Sherlock would know how to handle, and John must decide whether he can handle it without him.

Made for You by Raxicoricofallapatorious (K, 8,440 w., 1 Ch. || Friendship, Sci-Fi, Androids) – When John was shot in the shoulder he was decommissioned and his memory and personality was wiped. Sherlock was given the blank droid and he quickly learns that this droid is more than it seems. John just so happened to come back and no one can fathom how or why. Johnlock if you squint.

Matters of National Security by mistyzeo (E, 8,465 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF John, Doctor John, Jealous Sherlock, Dating, Bisexuality, Arguing, Stupidity, Teasing, First Kiss/Time, Hand Jobs, Frottage, RST, Idiots in Love) – John starts dating a male client of Sherlock's, and Sherlock can't figure out why he's so incensed about it.

Stay Awake by pandoras_chaos (E, 9,325 w., 1 Ch. || BAMF!John, First Time, Angst, Pining Sherlock, Rimming, Oral/Anal) – Sherlock can feel the tenuous threads of this conversation shuddering under the strain of all the unspoken words. His eyes narrow as he gazes up at John, noting the residual tension in his shoulders, the dark circles under his lower lids, and the way he is avoiding Sherlock’s eyes like a bi-polarized magnet. He knows John Watson inside and out, like the perfectly balanced coils and gears of a beautifully balanced grandfather clock, and yet John keeps surprising him. It’s uncanny, the way he keeps on being so utterly and wonderfully unpredictable.

John Watson’s Moon by patternofdefiance (E, 11,314 w., 1 Ch. || Werewolf John, First Time, BAMF John, First Time, Anal, Fleeting Depictions of Violence) – Sherlock finds out John is a werewolf and wants to see the transformation. It, uh, gets really kinky.

The Red Dianthus by kinklock (T, 11,382 w., 3 Ch. || Supernatural Elements, BAMF!John, Misunderstandings, Fluff, Romance, Halloween, Dev. Rel., Case Fic) – The boys investigate a mysterious disappearance in a supposedly haunted house, and get much more than they bargained for.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

Fear Itself by KCS (K+, 12,289 w., 3 Ch. || Suspense, Friendship) – John is accustomed to being kidnapped by now, but he never expected a criminal to adopt Mycroft's method of doing so, to ensure he comes along without a fight.

To be loved by Strange_johnlock (E, 12,436 w., 8 Ch. || Post S3, Established Relationship, First Person POV Sherlock, Pet Names, Soft Sherlock, Mild ADHD, Protective John, Captain Watson, Body Appreciation, Bottomlock, Rough Sex, Travelling for Holidays, Introspection, Sherlock Loves John So Much It Hurts) – John is so deeply integrated into the work, both as my conductor of light, and as a great shot with a vicious right hook who tackles men -and women- no matter their size all in my defense. He protects me with all he can without question, and this loyalty is surely more than I deserve. Or: Sherlock is counting his blessings.

On The Fence by BeautifulFiction (T, 13,770 w., 1 Ch. || Fencing, Case Fic, First Kiss, Insecure John, Pining John, Hug, Greg Finds Out) – The murder of the King's College fencing champion leads to revelations about Sherlock's past. Will it be the point that tips them from friends to lovers, or will they remain on the fence?

The Acronym by DancingGrimm (T, 15,057 w. || Humour) – "'Bee Ay Em Eff'. Hm, that's a new one on me. Do you know what it means, Sherlock?" John might not know what it means, but there are many little ways in which he proves the acronym suits him.

I Will Take Care Of You by SailorChibi (T, 16,664 w., 15 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Sick Sherlock, BAMF John, BAMF Lestrade, Reunion Fic) – Two years after Sherlock's death, John comes to find him on the sofa. Wounded and ill, Sherlock is convinced he's hallucinating and refuses to share any details about Moran or the fact that Mycroft has been compromised. That doesn't stop John from stepping up and taking care of the last of Moriarty's web, BAMF-style.

Hope for Heroes by Richefic (K+, 16,887 w., 5 Ch. || Post-TGG Fic, Introspection / Flashbacks, Friendship/Epic Bromance, Hurt/Comfort, Worried/Anxious Sherlock, Sherlock Admires John, BAMF John, John Deduces, Fancy Party, John’s Self Esteem, Domestics) – In the final moments of "The Great Game" Holmes hopes he will have the chance to tell his flatmate that he was wrong. Heroes do exist after all and the one in front of him is called Dr John Watson.

Traitor's Gate by roane (E, 17,714 w., 6 Ch. || Post-TRF, Case Fic, Mystery, Bets and Wagers, Undercover for a Case, BAMF John, Scientist Sherlock, Teasing, Established Relationship, Military Base, Sexting/Texting, Military/Uniform Kink, Frottage, Dirty Sex, Anal, Bottomlock) – John and Sherlock go undercover at a top secret government lab to find out who is selling research. John is back in uniform and Sherlock is back in a laboratory, but they have to pose as strangers. Sherlock thinks he'll have an easy time of it, but John has his doubts. It's up to them to find out who is responsible for putting a dangerous weapon in the wrong hands, and try to keep their hands off each other at the same time.

5 Times John Got the Girl (and lost her) and 1 Time John Got the Guy (and kept him) by LiviKate (M, 21,695 w., 6 Ch. || 5 and Ones, Kissing, Oblivious / Awkward Sherlock, BAMF / Sexy / Stud John, Embarrassed John, John’s Scar, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Sherlock) – John has always had good luck with the ladies. He's charming, friendly and funny, not to mention great in bed. However, his usual skill with the opposite sex is constantly being thwarted by Sherlock and his outbursts. How will John ever get a leg over when Sherlock is always cockblocking him?

Knotted by naughtyspirit (E, 23,166 w., 4 Ch. || UST/URT, Cuddling, Sharing Body Heat, Confessions, Kissing, Mastrubation, Frustration, BAMF!John) – John has to cancel a date because of Sherlock's case, which leads them to be tied up in a basement from which they have to escape. They get wet, get tied up close and John has to step up and save them. Because he's pretty. And hot. And just a little bit of a BAMF.

Maintaining A Personal Life by Gingerhermit (E, 24,284 w., 6 Ch. || Alternating POV’s, Bisexuality, BAMF!John, Jealous Sherlock, Romance / Drama, Sort-of Case Fic, Peril & Angst, Love Confessions, Toplock, Soft Idiots in Love, Post S3) – Sherlock and John discover some interesting revelations about each other’s sexuality, which lead them both to question the assumptions they've made about one another for years. In the midst of their mutual discoveries, a dangerous psychopath looms on the side-lines who threatens to destroy their new beginning.

Invisible by chappysmom (K+, 25,947 w., 11 Ch. || No Slash, semi-canon compliant) – John had had the knack for as long as he could remember. It wasn’t that he could become invisible, exactly. The laws of physics worked quite well in his vicinity, thank you very much. It was just that people tended … not to see him. {{This was one of the first AU’s I read, and I still love it to this day}}. SEQUELS: Still Invisible (ASiB) || Too Visible (THoB) || Invisible Once More (TRF)

And A Doctor by StillWaters1 (T, 27,393 w., 6 Ch. || Friendship, Doctor John, Whump, Soldier / Doctor Dichotomy, Five and One) – It was only when people actually saw John working as a physician that they began to understand: that it wasn't just about bullets and IEDs and trauma care under fire. That "doctor" actually covered a pretty wide field. And that John was bloody good at covering ground. 5 times Dr. Watson treated others and 1 time he treated himself.

26 Pieces by Lanning (E, 28,236 w., 1 Ch. || H/C, Torture, First Time, Happy Ending, Schmoop, Past Abuse) – Mycroft gives Sherlock the apparently simple task of solving a puzzle box containing a stolen microchip. It isn't simple.

Hellfire by testosterone_tea (E, 28,596 w., 9 Ch. || Fantasy / Magic / Mages / Elementals AU || Mage Sherlock, Elemental John, Developing Relationship, Torture, Powerful / BAMF John, POV Alternating, Dark / Blood Magic, UST, First Kiss) – Sherlock is a Mage that gets involved with a case involving Dark Summoning rituals, leading him to John Watson, a man with Berserker blood. The only thing is, Berserkers have been extinct for centuries. And of course, nothing involving Mycroft and his interfering ways is ever simple. This time, even Sherlock may have bitten off more than he can chew.

To Mend Icarus by AlessNox (T, 29,186 w., 14 Ch. || Post-TRF, Friendship, Drama, BAMF!John, Emotional Turmoil, Introspection, Harry is in this Fic, Angry John, Happy Ending, Queerplatonic Relationship) – After a case lands John Watson in court, he tells Sherlock that he is leaving. Not understanding why, Sherlock decides that the only way to learn the truth is to investigate his flatmate, Dr. John Watson. A revision of the story Mending Icarus.

A Study In Auto-Signatures, Sniper Dolphins, and Sex Holidays by cwb (E, 32,689 w., 8 Ch. || Case Fic, Post S3, Evil Mary, Dev. Rel., Beach Holidays, Confused Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Honeymoon, Epistolary, Bottomlock, First Kiss / Time, Fluff, Secret Agents, BAMF!John) – John and Mary go on their sex holiday, and Sherlock is grumpy and pining about it. Part 1 of HOT DOLPHIN SEX

The Wrong Wagon by DancingGrimm (E, 35,663 w., 20 Ch. || Alternating POV, Molly/  John [Molly pines for John], Public Sex, Casual Sex, Obliviousness, BAMF!John, Awkwardness, Angst & Humour, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Jealous Sherlock) – Molly sees John in a new light and realises that she may have hitched her horse to the wrong wagon...or something like that. John pines for Sherlock and worries what he will think if he ever finds out. And Sherlock doesn't know what Molly's up to...but he knows he doesn't like it.

we have never seen a greater day than this by Lediona (T, 36,420 w., 7 Ch. || A Royal Night Out AU || WWII / VE Day, Prince Sherlock, Soldier John, Alternating POV, First Kiss, Bittersweet Ending, Homophobia, Dancing) – Peace. At long last. It’s VE Day and Prince William desires to join the celebrations. It is a night of excitement, danger and the first flutters of romance.

A Week is Just Seven Days Isn't It? by scifigrl47 (T, 39,906 w., 4 Ch. || Humour, Friendship/Bromance, Stroppy/Bored Sherlock, Undercover/Army John, Texting, Pining-ish Sherlock, John Whump) – When John heads overseas for a week, Sherlock's forced to fend for himself. It goes about as well as anyone could have anticipated. Which is to say, very, very poorly. Don't worry, things'll be fine in just seven days.

Right Hand Man by SilentAuror (E, 42,031 w., 4 Ch. ||  H/C, Injury, Slow Burn) – When John's left arm becomes paralysed after a car accident, Mary asks Sherlock to take him back to Baker Street to recuperate, as she's about to give birth. Despite the fact that the search for Moriarty is ongoing, Sherlock takes John in and takes responsibility for overseeing his rehabilitation as he adjusts to the loss of his arm.

Guidelines by WithLoweredVoices (M, 43,018 w., 15 Ch. || Winglock || Angels, Fantasy, Angst, BAMF! John, War, Jealous Sherlock, Possessive Sherlock, Jealous John, Falling in Various Ways, Needy Sherlock, Wings) – The Good Soldier, one of the oldest and strongest of the fallen, is offered a bargain: to live as John Watson and to Guide a fledgling archangel so that he will stay on the path of good. Of course, Sherlock Holmes has different ideas about his destiny. Fantasy AU. Warnings for violence, occasional gore, and a whole load of hurt and angst.

Left by lifeonmars (M, 45,153 w., 9 Ch. || Magical Realism, BAMF!John, Slow Burn) – John Watson is left-handed. He’s tried not to let it affect his life, but as any Lefty knows, that’s almost impossible.

Impossible to Feign by achray (M, 49,204 w., 12 Ch. || TRF Rewrite / Reverse Reichenbach, Suicidal Ideations / Discussions, Drug Use/Abuse, Mutual Pining, Friends With Benefits, John Accepts his Sexuality, Anxious Sherlock, Meddling Mycroft, Depression, Hallucinations, Secret Agent John, BAMF John, Reunion, Make-Up Sex, Ambiguous Ending) – Sherlock leant forward, his long fingers curving round to grip John’s.“I won’t let him win,” he said, eyes hard. “I will do whatever it takes to get you out.”

Coventry by standbygo (E, 52,020 w., 26 Ch. || Dollhouse AU || Case Fic, Slow Burn, Sci-Fi / Fantasy, First Kiss / Time, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, BAMF John, Falling in Love) – “Let me get this straight,” John said, wondering when his life had become a science fiction film. “Some guy orders up a personality, a person, to his specifications, and they program this into a real live person, who has consented to do this, and she goes to this person and acts as his wife, or lawyer, or Royal Marine, or Navy Seal or what have you, and she has all the skills, all the knowledge, everything? Then you say the magic words, and she follows you back to The House, and they erase it all until her next appointment?”

Albion and the Woodsman by Glenmore (NR [E], 54,437 w., 50 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post S3, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst, Family, Drug Use, Depression, Sherlock POV, Light Humour, Reconnecting, Declarations of Love) – Sherlock and John are devastated after Mary Morstan makes her final moves. Sherlock relapses at the crack house, John walks around the world … and a lot happens in between. Parentlock, in the good way.

Wars We Fought, Things We're Not by blueink3 (M, 55,204 w., 10 Ch. || Post S3 / Post TAB, Parentlock, Fluff & Angst, Kidnapping, Whump, Post-TAB, UST/URT, 3G, Mild Peril, Slow Burn, Couple for a Case, Protective Mycroft, Infant Death Pre-Story, Friends to Lovers) –  Five months after John's world has fallen apart, Mycroft sends the consulting detective and his doctor on a case that neither is prepared for.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

The Thing Is by TSylvestris (E, 56,743 w., 21 Ch. || Case Fic, Dev. Rel., Anal/Oral, Blow Jobs, Meddling Mycroft, Drama, Romance, Humour, Casual Encounters, Pining Idiots, Possessive Sherlock, Orgasm Delay, Rough / Alley Sex, Public Sex, John Whump, Drugged John, Emotional Love Making, Awkward Relationship, Marriage of Convenience, Switchlock, BAMF John) – The problem with living with Sherlock, John thought, was that you never, never, ever knew the significance of anything. Like your flatmate's nose buried in your hair. Whilst you're in bed. Part 1 of Nitroglycerine

The Burning by SrebrnaFH (M, 60,658 w., 24 Ch. || Reverse Reichenbach, Suicide, Depression, Hurt Sherlock / John, Separation, BAMF John, Good Big Brother Mycroft, Angst, Implied/Referenced Torture, Fake Character Death, Rescue Mission, Reconciliation / Reunion, Hospitalization, Marriage Proposal, Illnesses, Physical Therapy, Happily Ever After) – Something went very, very wrong. John had seemed, if not happy, then reasonably content with his life. Sherlock had never predicted something like THIS might have happened. Not in his worst nightmares. He was the lousiest friend ever, apparently. At least Mycroft found him something to occupy his mind with, so that he didn't have to go back to 221B and stare at the walls and the chair, where John Watson would never sit again.

Perdition's Flames by i_ship_an_armada (E, 63,435 w., 21 Ch. || Treklock AU, Est. Rel, Genetic Engineering, Angst & Fluff, BAMF!John) – Sherlock would do anything to save him. Risk anything. Give anything. His money, his life. His soul. What he does, though, is change both of their destinies forever. Genetic re-engineering is the only option left. It turns out researchers underestimated the life expectancy and potential abilities of genetically re-engineered subjects. The British government and what would eventually become the United Federation of Planets, however, had not. Part 1 of PF Universe

Hell Sent, Heaven Bound by ConsultingHound (M, 64,381 w, 16 Ch. || Angels / Demons AU ||  Fallen Angel Sherlock / Angel Cop John, Alternate First Meeting, Slow Burn, Case Fic, John & Lestrade are Friends Before Sherlock, BAMF John, Mind Palace John, Friends to Lovers, John in Denial, Sherlock Picks Out John’s Clothing, Clubbing / Dancing, Mildly Jealous John, Awkwardness, Kidnapping, Sherlock’s Mind Palace, Sacrifice, Worried / Anxious Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, Immortal to Mortal) – Ex-War healer and current angelic guard John Watson is not having the best day. He overslept, he’s underpaid, and now there’s someone tagging the Council’s building walls. However things may be about to get interesting: there’s an unusual stranger hanging around (the definition of tall, dark, and handsome), a literal underground cult is brewing, and rumblings are coming from hell. Can he keep his neighbourhood safe, how and why is he being connected to all this, and who the hell is Sherlock Holmes?

Watches 'Verse by bendingsignpost (E, 66,905 w. across 2 works || Magical Realism, Reality Distortion, Angst, Partial MCD, BAMF John) – First, he is shot in Afghanistan. Second, he wakes to a phone call in Chelmsford, Essex. Third is pain, fourth is normalcy, fifth is agony and sixth is confusion. By the eighth, he's lost track. (John-centric AU) Part 1 of Watches 'Verse

Being John Watson-ish by elwinglyre (E, 69,902 w., 17 Ch. || Bodysnatcher AU || Author John, Cranky Sherlock, Angst, Sexual Tension, First Kiss / Time, Falling in Love, BAMF John, Past Soldier John, Feelings, Inside Someone’s Brain, Shy Sherlock, Sherlock Loves John, POV Sherlock, Switchlock, Slow Burn, Internal Dialogue, Mental Turmoil) – When consulting detective Sherlock Holmes steps on one toe too many at a crime scene, he's consigned to a desk job in an archaic office on the seventh-and-a-half floor of the New Scotland Yard. It’s in this bleak office that Sherlock discovers a portal into the mind of renowned author John Watson. Grander than his mind palace, this new wonderland affords Sherlock new vistas of experimentation. To learn more about the mystery behind the portal, Sherlock seeks out and befriends Watson. But then it all goes wrong when others find the secret portal door—including the man whose brain he visits.

The Green Blade by verityburns (T, 72,929 w., 15 Ch. || Casefic, Bromance) – As a serial killer hits the headlines, the police are out of their depth and the next victim is out of time. With faith in Sherlock Holmes at an all time low, this is a case which will push loyalties to the limit...

Darkling, I Listen by You_Light_The_Sky (T, 73,254 w., 8 Ch. || Fairy Tale AU || Loosely Based on Beauty and the Beast, Magical Realism, Suicidal Themes, Romance, Creepiness, Adventure) – No one who enters old London ever comes out. They say that the beast devours them. When his sister disappears, John ventures into the dead zone beyond the wall, and finds a brilliant madman under a terrible curse... Part 1 of Darkling I Listen + Extras, Deleted Scenes

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

The Monument of Memory by J_Baillier (M, 79,663 w., 14 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It Fic / S4 is Canon, Angst, Family Drama, Guilt, Case Fic, John Loves Sherlock, Complicated Feelings, Mentalism / Hypnosis, Murder, Grieving John, Sherlock is a Bit Not Good, Team Work, Trust Issues, BAMF John, Psychological Trauma, Protective John, Autistic-Spectrum Sherlock, Parentlock, John POV) –  A genius traumatised by a past he's only beginning to recall. The psychopath sister that time forgot. A missing woman and a mentalist who may or may not be a murderer. And, in the middle of it all, stands John Watson.

Secrets and Revelations by Hisstah (E, 83,535 w., 9 Ch. || Sentinel / Guides Omegaverse AU || Adventure, Violence, Anal / Oral, Omega!John / Alpha!Sherlock, Case Fic, Politics, Mild DubCon) – Dr John Watson has some major secrets that he's kept from his flatmate, Alpha Sentinel Sherlock Holmes. Now the Sentinel Tower is after him. Can John stay out of their hands until he can reveal his secrets to Sherlock? Part 1 of Secrets and Revelations

Thermocline by J_Baillier (M, 83,557 w., 14 Ch. || Scuba Diving AU || Adventure, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Marine Archaeology, Asexual Sherlock, Horny John, Relationship Drama, Technical/Scuba/Wreck Diving, Slow Burn, Underwater /  Medical Peril, Doctor John, Hurt Sherlock, Anxious Sherlock, John POV, Protective John, Body Appreciation) – John "Five Oceans" Watson — technical dive instructor, dive accident analyst and weapon of mass seduction — meets recluse professor of maritime archaeology Holmes. As they head out to a remote archipelago off the coast of Guatemala to study and film its shipwrecks for a documentary, will sparks fly or fizzle out?

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (E, 95,157 w., 27 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Canadian AU ||  BAMF!John, Canadian John, PTSD, Anal / Oral Sex, Rimming, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Drug Rehab, Falling in Love, Pining Sherlock, Love Confessions, Sherlock’s Violin, Panic Attacks, Switching, Anxious / Protective Sherlock, Hugs for Comfort, Suicide Mentions, Healing Each Other) – Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn't truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes." Part 1 of Tales from the Northwest

Given In Evidence by verityburns (M, 97,884 w., 19 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Angst, Drama, Case Fic, Romance, BAMF!John, Submissive Sherlock, First Kiss, Humour) – Coming back from the dead can be a complicated business. With a new case on the horizon, rebuilding a life is one thing... rebuilding a friendship quite another. For Sherlock and John, things may never be just the same...

Maintenance and Repair by patternofdefiance (E, 106,650 w., 71 Ch. || Future AU, Augmentation || Augmented John, Depression, Body Modification, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Sci-Fi, Self-Care, Body Dysmorphia) – John wants to explain the rush of sensation and data, which is just another form of sensation (or is it the other way around?). John wants to say: Augmentation circuits report temperature, pressure, various forms of quantitative input. Sudden changes are reported as pain, since sudden changes are dangerous, and pain is the quickest way to encourage reflexive extraction. But all John can manage is, “Nng.” Because this sudden touch is not reporting as pain. Part 2 of STATIC

Shatter the Darkness (Let the Light In) by MojoFlower (E, 109,683 w., 23 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Genie/Djinn AU || Magical Realism, Kidnapping, Genie Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Case Fic, H/C, Angst, Clubs, John Whump, Mild DubCon, Hand / Blow Jobs, Torture) – Fairy tales are for those who remember how to dream; not John Watson, broken and hiding from his bleak future in a beige bedsit. But then he discovers a lamp and finds himself in the dangerous riptide of an enigmatic man whose very existence is unbelievable, murder charges against his sister, and the growing pains of feeling alive once more.

Two Two One Bravo Baker by abundantlyqueer (E, 114,574 w., 27 Ch. || Military AU || Afghanistan, War Story, Thriller, Switchlock, Rimming, Emotional Lovemaking, Lots of Sex, HJ/BJ’s) – Captain John Watson of 40 Commando, the Royal Marines, is assigned to protect and assist Sherlock Holmes as he investigates what appears to be a simple war atrocity in Afghanistan. An intense attraction ignites between the two men as they uncover a conspiracy that threatens everything they’ve ever known, but Sherlock is as much hunted as hunter, and everyone close to him is in deadly danger. Can he solve the case in time to save himself and John? Part 1 of Two Two One Bravo Baker Universe

Breakable by MissDavis (E, 117,627 w., 34 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE, WiP || Established Relationship, Major Character Injury, Fluff/Angst, Depression, Paralysis/Disabilities, Hurt/Comfort, POV Sherlock, Mental Health Issues, Drug Use, Happy-ish Ending) – After John is seriously injured, Sherlock struggles to figure out how to help him, keep himself sane, and maybe, just maybe, get their life back to the way it's supposed to be. Part 1 of Breakable Not Broken

The Burning Heart by May_Shepard (M, 119,150 w., 21 Ch. || Canon Divergence, Post-TRF, John’s Sexuality, S3 Rewrite, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, POV John Watson, John’s Gay) – When Sherlock dies, John Watson feels like his life is over too. He’s completely shut down, until Mark Morstan, a new nurse at John’s medical clinic, catches his attention, and helps him uncover the long buried truth of his attraction to men. Although he’s certain he’ll never get over Sherlock, John plans to move on, and build a new life with Mark, unaware that Sherlock is not quite as dead as he appears, and that Mark is hiding secrets of his own.

Against the Rest of the World by SilentAuror (E, 151,714 w., 20 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-TRF, Hiatus Fic, POV First Person Sherlock, Present Tense, First Kiss/Time, Big Brother Mycroft, Escaping from Capture, Soft Sherlock, Toplock, Insecurity, Infidelity, Travelling, Introspection, Pining Sherlock, Depression, Fantasies, Yearning for the Past, PTSD Sherlock, Suicidal Ideation) – Sherlock has been away from London for nine hundred and twelve days and counting, and has no idea what sort of reception to expect when he finally returns.

[thinkingaboutdramas]

Thoughts on Court Lady, Part 1

I liked Fu Rou at the start of the drama. Intelligent, stubborn, idealistic, righteous. But as the drama progressed, at times it felt like she was object (like the men in her life wanting to have her) or she was there to simply recite Tang laws. On one hand I wanted her to do more, be more than her relationship with Sheng Chumu and her duties, but on the other hand when you live in the palace, your life is dedicated to the imperial family. One day you’re favoured, the next you’re executed for some infraction. To survive there, you need to be shrewd, and Fu Rou is that.

When she got promoted, she stopped embroidering (something I liked to see her do because she was happy doing it), then, for me, it was like her morals became her personality, but her morals also became her story because she inserted herself into situations. It was either that, inserting herself, or she was pulled into situations, and that was where things became so utterly predictable and dull: Fu Rou always had a solution to everything, and she always figured things out! (Sheng Chumu was the same.) She always knew what to say and what to do, and she always, always, spoke up to the Emperor and Empress, and I frequently thought, ‘Please, just stop talking!’ As the Empress said, ‘She is smart. But sometimes, she can be so stupid.’ Fu Rou was so lucky the Empress liked her.

I admired Fu Rou’s devotion to Sheng Chumu, but for me their relationship had so many question marks written across it. Just why? Why is it that you love each other so much? They were like, ‘come hell or high water, I will only be with you’. Their love didn’t gradually build. It simply blossomed in the first few episodes of the drama and then that was it. I love you, I only want you. But they were separated so frequently, there so many misunderstandings, and the world kept telling them that they’re not meant to be--I don’t find that entertaining, and it certainly didn’t leave me intrigued, so that’s why I was like ??? Again, I admire their devotion to each other, but because they were barely together, and sometimes they both barely had screen time, I lost interest in their relationship.

I honestly do prefer a slow-burn romance because we get to see the relationship develop and all the little moments that make us squeal (the pining, the touches, the conversations, the nervousness, the angst, the confession of feelings), but because this drama is an ensemble story, the relationships had to be carefully juggled. For me, the story itself isn’t the drama’s strength, but the relationships between the supporting cast were interesting (especially Lu Yingying and her connections, Fu Yin and her connections, Prince Han and his wife, then the princes), but in the end even the relationships that I did like became dull.

The relationship between Fu Rou and Prince Zhou caught my attention early on. Their potential and possibility--the palace power couple, which would, yes, cause issues, since the Crown Princess described Fu Rou as Prince Zhou’s potential right-hand woman--was so fascinating. I liked Prince Zhou’s personality a lot more than Sheng Chumu (more on that later), and while he did have his flaws, like the way he delivered advice (all his warnings made sense for me, though) and how he could be so overbearing, he was probably the most talented prince with the most potential in the imperial family.

But as the story progressed, he barely had screen time, and his relationship with Fu Rou became stagnant. When Fu Rou would see Sheng Chumu, Prince Zhou would pop up, predictably, and say something on purpose to rub salt in Sheng Chumu’s wounds. I completely understood then why fans of Fu Rou and Sheng Chumu’s pairing would dislike Prince Zhou--I disliked his behaviour because it was getting old. Most of all, Prince Zhou’s story unfortunately remained stagnant for so long, and I think that probably happened because the drama had cut to out quite a few episodes.

I read that the drama originally had 70 episodes, but it was cut down to 55, and that explains the issues in the story in the last eight or so episodes. It’s clear that scenes were cut because suddenly characters were somewhere else. Things happened quickly, and it was like [clapping hands] let’s get [clapping hands] this done [clapping hands] as soon as possible. The pacing was so off. For example, Prince Han is mourning a character that died, and he’s drunk, and the scene just drags on and on. That could have been shortened and some other scene that was deleted could have been put back in. It’s like the production team worked hard on the first 46 episodes, but then they were told to shorten the drama, and so they simply chopped scenes from the remaining episodes.

It’s a pity that the drama was shortened. It is a beautiful show with wonderful costumes, but the script wasn’t great and certain things didn’t make sense (like why didn’t anyone say anything about Fushui? How the heck did the princes avoid capture from the prison all the way to the Emperor’s bedchambers?) There were so many convenient things happening just to push the story along.

Lastly, my biggest issue with the drama was Sheng Chumu. I’ve said before that we all have our preferences, our favourite tropes, and what we like influences our opinions on characters. Because of my own preferences, Sheng Chumu rubbed me the wrong way from the first episode, and the entire elopement arc pissed me off. But that arc also made me realise that Fu Rou and Sheng Chumu are extraordinarily intelligent but dumb people who deserve each other.

Continued over here: Thoughts on Court Lady, Part 2.

[teeztheflag]

─────────────────────

S c h m e r z (Pain)

⋆ pairing: demon!ateez x reader (poly!ateez)

⋆ genre: demon au, suggestive, crack

⋆ warnings: strong language, use of medicine, suggestive topics, pet names, cheating, alcohol, partying, suggestive topics, angst, lots of arguments, mentions of killing, manipulation

⋆ words: 10,100  

a/n: @unatempesta-dipensieri​ this is for you honey 

⋆  „What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

─────────────────────

„Good morning!“ Woo Young enters the dining area with a huge grin on his face and Seong Hwa chuckles at the little strands of hair that are standing up from his head.

Soon the others join the clan on the table and start to dig into the delicious breakfast. „Wait, is (y/n) not up yet?“ Seong Hwa eyes the round and his gaze stops at Yun Ho and Min Gi who are trying everything to avoid their hyung‘s look.

Hong Joong quirks an eyebrow and sips on his tea. „Guys, did you do something to her?“ That’s what makes Yeo Sang‘s eyes turn into a crimson color eyeing the two demons, too.

„Woah, I mean, calm down... She’s upstairs still sleeping. Yun Ho and me wanted to wake her up but she was still so sleepy.“

The others only nod silently at his answer. Usually you’re always the first when it comes to eating but there could be many reasons why you are not joining them.

San munches on his toast while listing them off in his head one by one.

First, you could be really sleepy because you and the others watched movies until three am this morning and now it’s 8.46 am.

Second, you were embarrassed because you fell asleep on the couch although you swore you wouldn’t sleep at theirs for the beginning.

Which also leads to the third reason, you realized that you woke up in Yun Ho‘s bed sandwiched between him and Min Gi and now are even more embarrassed.

And Fourth, you just pretend to sleep and wait for him and Woo Young to come upstairs and give you the best fuc -

„San? Are you even listening?“

„Yeeeees, sorry.“

„Ah, really? Then repeat what I said.“ Hong Joong watches him while the brown haired boy smirks mischievously. The leader sighs and puts down his napkin.

„I said for the next time we have to watch out for (y/n) but without her noticing. We all know she would freak out if she knew but it’s for her best. I guess she’s still not understanding that many demons are after a marked female...“

„What? Are you talking about me?“ All their heads turn around to see you standing in the doorway wearing a shirt from Yun Ho which comes off as definitely oversized and they all think you look too cute like this.

„Are you awake now, cupcake?“

You frown at Woo Young.

„What did I say about the nicknames? I am still tired but I guess my appetite awakened me.“

After eating breakfast with the demons you got a shower and quickly went back home but not without going through a lot of protests from the boys. Honestly, you were very embarrassed about falling asleep at their house although you made it clear you wanted to take things slow but - you were just so tired. Even now sitting at your desk in your dorm room you couldn’t concentrate at all.

In a few hours you had go to your part time job and you felt like falling asleep in any second. You groaned out and let you head fall onto the surface of the table closing your eyes. Great. Now a headache was coming around, too.

This night you fell into your bed very exhausted. You didn’t make any progress in studying this afternoon and also your boss had been very shitty to you at your shift today. All you wanted was to sleep...

Much to your dismay you only felt worse this morning but got up nevertheless to go to your courses. A pain killer could maybe help a little bit and so you swallowed the pill and grabbed your bag. You already were late so you passed the campus with quick steps and nearly collapsed into the chair for your first lecture.

It only worsened throughout the day. You were on your way back to the dorm and felt really hot. Your limbs hurt and the headache came back. Black dots formed in front of your vision and you quickly found a bench to rest.

Suddenly you saw Jong Ho emerging you with a stern expression on his face. „(y/n)?“

He placed his hand on your forehead and frowned.

„What are you doing here?“ You felt the urge to close your eyes out of exhaustion. You were convinced that something was not right with you by now but you never felt like this before.

Your eyes flattered open and you noticed the change of your surroundings. You were placed neatly into Hong Joong‘s bed. The curtains were closed creating a comfortable brightness in the room. The air conditioning system was turned on and you felt a wet cloth on your forehead.

You felt a lot better and noticing no one was around you turned your head a little bit to the cushion you layed on and smelled the wonderful scent of the demon.

How can someone smell this good?

You giggled at your own awkwardness and quickly arranged yourself when the door carefully opened.

Inside Yeo Sang, Hong Joong and Seong Hwa came. You made eye-contact with everyone of them and stopped at the youngest of the three.

Shit, hopefully he doesn’t read my thoughts about Hong Joong‘s wonderful scent. Heck, (y/n)! Stop thinking... He doesn’t look away! Start singing... Bulleo bulleo mhhmhmhm

You continued humming to the song in your head totally unaware of how the three sat down on the bed and Yeo Sang looking out of the window with a knowing smirk on his face.

„Can you not stop that?“

„I am sorry (y/n). I didn’t chose this ability.“

„What even is going on here?“ Hong Joong and Seong Hwa look between you and Yeo Sang but when no one answers them Seong Hwa clears his throat to gain everyone‘s attention.

„At least you are not ranting about being again in one of our beds - “

„Now that you’re mentioning it how - ah, wait... Jong Ho brought me here, right?“

„Yes. You had a high fever and blacked out so we thought it would be the best to bring you to our place and give you some medicine. How are you feeling now?“

„Better... I just don’t know how I became ill it’s definitely not the season for it.“

„(y/n) maybe you had contact to someone - “

When Yeo Sang tried to touch your forearm you suddenly felt a harsh pain at your wrist just like the last time that crazy guy appeared.

„Ahhh ... fuck! h- hurts..“

„(y/n)!“ Hong Joong and the other two demons try to look from where the pain comes and the leader‘s eyes change into a crimson when he realizes it’s your mark.

Soon the others are in the room trying to figure out what’s wrong because they feel the distress of their clan brothers.

Your forehead is sweaty and Yeo Sang also has to take a step back from the bed clutching at his head out of pain.

„What the hell is happening here?!“ Woo Young shouts and Yun Ho comes to lay a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

Luckily the pain soon vanishes leaving you blacked out again and the fever higher than before.

Downstairs the boys except of Yeo Sang who still sits by your side settled together and debate on what was happening with you.

„I first thought it could be a normal flu or something but now that her wrist burnt where our mark is I think it’s has to do with us and the bond.“ Seong Hwa says.

„Mh, also me and Yeo Sang felt it, too.“

„Here, I got the book.“ Yun Ho enters the living room area with quick steps and places it on the table.

„Okay, I think I found something...“ This caught the interest of the other demons who where scattered around the place by now and building a circle around the book and Seong Hwa very fast.

„Seems like her body and soul starts fighting our mark...“

„What the fuck?! How and why?!“

„Jong Ho, calm down.“ San embraces his brother form behind to calm him down while Hong Joong might start to realize what is really happening here.

„Listen! It also says that it can be due to the human itself or if another demon tries to claim him or her.“

„I think the first option is bullshit because we talked about this so who’s the motherfucker trying to take away my kitten from me?!“

„San, first - it’s not only your kitten and secondly - the nickname‘s stupid. Let’s agree on babygirl.“

Seong Hwa proudly smirks at his idea and San coughs at that.

„*cough* pervert *cough*“

„Guys, can we please focus on (y/n) and not such unnecessarily things?“

„Jong Ho is right. It’s cupcake anyways.“ Woo Young high-fives with Min Gi and grins.

Hong Joong only facepalms and groans.

„Stop. We have to figure out who’s behind this until then we continue watching her and talk about every little change we notice. Alright, guys?“ Everyone nods at him and looks up when Yeo Sang comes down the stairs shock evident on his face.

„How is she?“

„Sleeping. It’s angel you idiots!“

The next days your condition got better and the demons were relieved to see you quite energized and healthy again. You were thankful they took such good care of you but it was time to get back to your lectures and work everything up.

yunhoe: wanna grab a coffee after your last lecture? (´｡• ω •｡`)

you: yeh I pay

yunhoe: why? let your bestfriend treat you

you: you want sth in return

yunhoe: would never ( `ε´ )

you: you’re turning into a woo young version 2.0 these last weeks

yunhoe: :‘( the betrayal

You smile at your display and link your arms with your female bestfriend Hyo Lyn when she emerges you with a big grin while walking to the other campus.

„Oh, who’s the poor guy.“

„You’re mean (y/l/n) (y/n). He’s a very lucky boy and his name is Seok Woo.“

You stop in your tracks and eye her suspiciously. „If I hear a page being turned in the next seconds I am outta here.“

„Gosh, stop watching those dramas.“

„That only proves you watched it, too!“

„Of course. Now I can have my own Ha Ru.“ You laughed out loud gaining a few questionable looks from other students at how Hyo Lyn emphasizes the name.

Inside the lecture hall you sit down next to each other still gossiping a little bit and cringe when she tells you that last weekend at a fraternity party Choi San and Jung Woo Young were seen having a threesome with one of the prettiest girls of the campus.

Such dickheads. While you’re ill they go out having their fun and then still lie about having feelings for you!

„You’re alright?“

„Of course I am why wouldn’t I!“ Hyo Lyn shrieks back at your outburst which again draws the interest of many people in the hall to you.

„Haha, I mean, they’re both really hot and you’re at theirs so often! Do you think Yun Ho would have something against it? Or are you still playing hide and seek with Kang and Kim?“

You could’ve banged your head onto the table but stopped yourself before.

„Can we just forget I ever told you about this?“

„Ehm, no. Look, gaining the interest of the Kim Hong Joong and Kang Yeo Sang is a dream coming to life! Maybe you could ask them for a threesome?“

„Fuck, Hyo Lyn! Stop this nonsense.“ Your cheeks were painted so red you had to cool them down with your palms leaving your bestfriend a laughing mess next to you.

After the lecture ended you checked the bus line and saw that there was a technical issue which let to a high delay for the next one. To be punctual for Yun Ho you had to run across the campus and catch the next one which would take a lot more time than usually.

While running you accidentally have your eyes only a second on your phone checking the time and of course bang into someone who luckily caught you pretty effortlessly.

„Shit, I apologize a lot! I am in a hurry and - “

„Well, hello my love.“ You really couldn’t believe your eyes. In front of you the perverted demon stands eyeing you with an amused look.

„You!“

He laughs still holding you in his arms.

„Me!“

„Stop!“ You try to wiggle out of his grip and much to your suspicion he lets you out of his arms carefully.

You look around if someone’s watching you and when sure there are not much students left you turn again to him and whisper-yell. „What are you doing here?! Don‘t say you want to kidnap me again...“ You fold your arms in front of you but slightly panick when he leans down too much in your comfort zone.

„I am studying here now and my lecture just ended.“ You scoff and push him back by his chest.

„What bullshit! Aren’t you too old to study?“

„Wait, how old do you think I am?“

„As a pervert you’re probably fourty or something...“

„H - how dare you! I am 26 years old!“ You give him a bored stare and mention for him to hold it.

„However. I am going and keep out of my way or - “

„Ah, this is will be hard. Because we have the same subject.“ A shiteating grin takes its place onto Joo Hyuk‘s face and you just couldn’t believe this guy.

You try to push your way around him when he stops you by your wrist again and takes you into an embrace from behind. His hold on your wrist leaves a undefinable pain and you hiss out when he finally leaves it. Trying to break free he only holds you closer and you can feel him leaning into your neck. You shudder when you feel him taking in your scent.

„Are you afraid my love? You don’t have to be... I would never hurt you.“ Much to your dismay your body betrays you and you feel your legs giving out at his words which pleases him.

You would lie when you told yourself that this wasn’t exciting but you didn’t understand your feeling at all.

Suddenly he lets you go and chuckles lightly. „Guess we will see eachother more from now on, (y/n)“ And with that you turn around but he’s nowhere to be seen anymore...

Stupid demons.

„Shit, the bus!“

Yun Ho texted you he would drive to the campus with his car because it was getting way too late and today it was his task to watch over you. At least he would bring you home safely and maybe drink a tea at your dorm.

The dorm was only a fifteen minute walk from your position but heh.

You smile when you see him pulling in at the parking spot. How he hops out of the expensive vehicle makes your heart jump but you try to cover it quickly knowing he would sense it.

As he nears your form a frown comes across his face and the next thing you know is him holding your shoulders in a very tight grip. You shudder at seeing your bestfriend like this the first time in your life and gulp when his orbs transform into a deep red color.

Yun Ho drags you to the car and drives to the demon‘s mansion faster than you liked. He pushes you inside the livingroom where Yeo Sang and Min Gi were currently playing Fortnite and some of the others around cheering.

„Hey, what’s our beautiful cupc - “

„Hold him back!“ No one noticed Seong Hwa coming from the kitchen with a gaze full of hate and disgust at your form. Before he could lunge at you Hong Joong and Jong Ho use all of their strength to hold him back. They drag him outside into the garden but the next demon also seems to lose his mind by letting out a deep growl like sound and Woo Young covers San‘s eyes and pushes him out of the room, too.

„What’s with them?“ You find yourself in Yeo Sang‘s arm in a second who seems to try to protect you from the other demons. Tears prick at your eyes and Yeo Sang tries to shush you by caressing your back in comforting circles.

You sit down on the couch after Hong Joong calls Min Gi to get out, too. Leaving only you, Yun Ho and Yeo Sang.

Yun Ho didn’t stop walking in circles since you arrived and you just wonder what was going on. You don’t even recognize Yeo Sang rubbing himself on you by smashing your cheeks together and kissing your hair repeatedly...

After a while you still sniffle when the others come back in and you take a look at the two demons that had the outburst. Whereas San seems only pissed Seong Hwa avoids your look at all costs which hurts you a little bit.

„Is this disgusting scent finally off of her?“ Seong Hwa speaks up while looking out of the window.

Now this was what it was all about... but it wasn’t you fault, right?

Without realizing you roll with your eyes earning another growl but this time from Yun Ho. „Do you think this is a joke?“

You scoff at him. „Of course not but you’re not telling me shit!“

„(y/n), we’re just concerned... Yun Ho brought you here because...“

„It’s okay, angel. You can tell them.“ Of course Yeo Sang already knew what happened because the moment started to flash into your mind occasionally since you’ve arrived here.

You told them about your encounter with Joo Hyuk leaving some of them clearly pissed. After a long pause you and Yeo Sang are again alone in the living room and the others come back after discussing and deciding for you to get out of the demon‘s way as good as possible for now.

Of course you agreed with them but if he was really attending the same courses like you things would get problematic. The tense atmosphere also doesn’t sit right with you. Everyone was giving off the vibe that you have been running into him on purpose.

When in reality they just don’t know about Joo Hyuk‘s intentions and that’s what worries Hong Joong the most. He definitely is the reason for your illness but the question is if he would be so dumb to try again to steal you away. His clan is definitely stronger and larger in number so why you? Why again anger the Ateez Clan?

One thing was sure - they had to keep a good eye on that bastard and need you to work with them although you don’t know about him being the reason for your illness and potential threat to claim you as his.

You on the other side were deeply confused and annoyed. Gladly Jong Ho drove you back to your dorm after your discussion but he also didn’t talk to you at all during the ride seemingly deep in thoughts.

Their reactions confused you... first you’ve never seen Yun Ho like this before. Of course this wasn’t the first time he got angry but definitely the first one his anger felt directed to you, too.

You knew San was an emotional person but you couldn’t shake off the feeling he didn’t had himself under control at all yesterday.

And Seong Hwa... the usually calm and soft demon is who hurt you the most. His gaze told you how disgusted he was by you... you felt like it wasn’t only about your scent but you in general at this moment. Like you’ve done something that betrayed him and his brothers.

The night wasn’t pleasant as sleep seemed to come to you hardly and the next evening at your shift you also couldn’t stop thinking about the events. You felt restless because images of the moment with Joo Hyuk coming back to you again and again. You mentally groaned everytime that happened because instead of fear and anger you felt slight excitement. You knew it was wrong to think and feel like that but you couldn’t stop yourself...

„(y/l/n)! The three gentlemen in the left corner are waiting!“

„Oh, sorry, boss!“

You arrive at the table and get on your knees with a bow arranging the menus.

„(y/n), what a pleasure to meet you again.“ You quickly look up and your mouth opens like you want to say something but nothing comes out.

So much for keeping out of his way... Was he following you now?

„You know eachother?“ One of the guys sitting next to the demon eyes you with a flirting gaze to which you give him a ‚fuck off‘ - gaze.

„Yes, this is the special girl I‘ve told you about.“

Eh?

„Special girl?“ It definitely comes out louder than you wanted it to and you check if your boss noticed but are relieved when it doesn’t seem like it.

„Of course. Your indeed very precious (y/l/n) (y/n).“

What shocks you even more is to not find the usual annoying smirk on his face when he says this. Special? Precious? What is he talking about?

You wanted to say something but being unsure of what you just handed them the menus, bowed again and quickly went back to the bar.

„She smells fascinating...“

„Yah, Ji Soo! Don’t even think about it.“

„Why? You’re also hanging out with that human chick. What was her name again?“

„That’s not what I mean. He already has his eyes on her so you don’t have the right to touch her.“

„Stop talking she’s coming back.“

Your brows furrow at their whispering but you brush it off nevertheless. First you cannot stop thinking about him and then he appears again.

What if he really just wanted to study at your university? The last time he could’ve easily kidnapped you again but he didn’t.

Maybe he was just a little bit attracted to you? You cannot shake off the feeling that the others might have overreacted...

Also, what if you had his scent on you? He just hugged you and you didn’t even stand a chance to get out of the grip of a demon. Moreover it wasn’t in your interest at all whereas Woo Young and San couldn’t keep their dicks inside their trousers - which still left a light stinging sensation in your heart.

Of course you knew how they were and that they liked to play around. The question is, why wouldn’t you just be one of the many other girls, too?

You still cannot believe that out of eight demons everyone would have the same amount of feelings for you. To be honest, the only person you thought of really liking you was Kang Yeo Sang. Thinking about Hong Joong - no one really knew what he did or thought in a day.

Maybe you slowly realize that you might fall for them too easily? Since they kidnapped you that day no one really tried to make the next step. Even Yeo Sang and Hong Joong wouldn’t go further than touching you in appropriate places. Well, at least the younger one did. And it all was still friendship like.

These thoughts are giving you a headache. Well, you were the one telling them you only wanted to be friends first then why are you so emotionally confused?

Do you crave for more? Or is it just attention?

Before the three men left the place Joo Hyuk gave you a huge tip which you didn’t stand a chance to reject. Luckily nothing more happened with him to which you were more than thankful. You couldn’t stand so much trouble in short terms.

Arriving at your dorm exhausted you jump on your bed after receiving a text from Hyo Lyn that she was coming over and getting ready for a party. Why would you say no? There were no messages from the guys and you definitely wouldn’t waste this night and free sunday tomorrow.

Yes, this was definitely the best you could do to forget all this mess for now. Only you, your bestfriend and a bottle of wine.

Oh, and loud music, sweating bodies and students making out in every corner. For this night you decided to wear something fancy but sexy, too. The mistake you made? You already drank quite the amount of appetizers with Hyo Lyn while dressing up and you could already feel the coral lipstick smeared from the amount of times you lick them.

You were wasted. Definitely; but in a good way. Hyo Lyn only giggled and dragged you to the dancefoor - the living room of the mansion - and started swaying your hips to the music. By now it was actually unimportant how you looked like you just had fun with the girl next to you and giggled a lot at her stupid dance moves imitating them from time to time.

When you made you way back to the kitchen looking for another drink you couldn’t shake off the feeling being watched. You shuddered at the thought and looked around a few times but couldn’t make out anything suspicious.

Only when you heard the yelling you immediately felt your insides curling. „Quick! Woo Young is winning!“

If Woo Young was here then San would be, too. Meaning there was a high chance some of the others or all of them attended this party, too. Where we’re back to the point - they’re not texting you and acting like wanting to protect you but here we are?

Suddenly Hyo Lyn brings you out of your thoughts by finding you in the kitchen and dragging you outside with a grip on your wrist.

„Come one, we have to watch this!“

Out of a good perspective standing outside a huge group of people in front you can see Woo Young drinking up all the beer and San next to him cheering him on like the others.

You roll with your eyes a smirk building up but it quickly vanishs when you see the cute dark haired beauty pulling him into a kiss and Woo Young first shocked but putting his arms around her waist in return when he wins.

First you really didn’t want to believe Hyo Lyn - but it was obvious that this scene probably replayed every weekend and party they attended.

What about the others? What about the Song Min Gi? What about the prestigious bachelor Kim Hong Jong? What about... what did all of them do?

You went back into the house ignoring the urge to turn into a crying mess feeling like it would be useless. You sat down in front of the mansion outside at the sidewalk alone with your thoughts again. Did you really didn’t know them at all?

No, you knew them. You knew about their hobbies... what they liked to eat and what their dreams were. It was just the fact that you didn’t feel like trusting them and not in the friend like relationship.

The image of them as boyfriends, potential lovers or what you would call it. You’re far away from that and you weren’t a person that tried to seek for the problem in others. It was about you. Maybe your first rejection lead to them losing interest in you. The whole marked thing slowly felt like they just still tried to fulfill something because they gave it to you and maybe they wanted to wait before asking you to take it back...

You definitely were a person to overthink things.

„What’s a little bird like you doing here alone?“

You slowly look up to see who has the nerve to interrupt you at your conspiracy moment.

„Oh, I am sorry... Didn’t want to sound awkward I guess you just looked really cute like t - this...“ You couldn’t stop gaping at the handsome boy. He had black hair with beautiful dark eyes that seemed to shine in the light of the moon and he was just plainly beautiful - exactly pretty like Hong Joong but different.

Hong Joong...

Tears started to prick again at your eyes making the boy worry if he is the cause for your sadness.

„Shit, I am sorry! I didn’t want to upset you!“ He leans down and starts to wipe away your tears with his soft thumbs and you feel oddly comforted by it - probably mainly caused by your drunken state.

„It - it’s not you...“

„Mh.“ He nods in an understanding matter and shoots you one of the most beautiful smiles you’ve ever seen. He sits down next to you still having his arm around your shoulders letting you calm down.

After a while you decide to check your phone to see if someone texted you but you can only see Hyo Lyn informing you about having met Seok Woo and his two very attractive friends and that they were playing beer pong.

„Do you want to get back inside?“

You shrug really unsure and definitely not in the mood to accidentally run into one of the boys. Okay, maybe just get over you high ego and text them!

You searched for San in your contacts and texted him that you also attended the party and if he wanted to hang out in the garden or something.

choi san: I am busyyyy

Wow, what a great answer. You groaned out gaining back the attention of the stranger next to you. „To be honest, I just want to go home and eat as much fast food as I can.“

You flinch a little bit when he suddenly starts laughing at you heartly. „To be honest, I didn’t want to come here in the first place.“ He takes a look back and his nose wrinkles is the most adorable way you could imagine.

„Then why did you come?“

„Three friends of mine wanted me to and I am the driver but now one of them found their girl he’s hanging out with at the moment an the other one‘s still searching for the girl he wanted to meet here.“ You laughed at this because it was cliche.

„What’s with the third one?“

„He just likes to party.“ You both laugh again mostly because you are still tipsy and him finding your laugh contagious.

„Do you want to head out of here? I know we don’t know eachother but I am hungry, too, so we could stop by a diner and after that I am bringing you home?“

„Mh, don’t know. I really don’t know you and my friend is still here... but I could tell Hyo Lyn quickly so she can send the cops after me if you try something funny.“ He grins at you mischievously but without any bad intention.

„Wait, did you say Hyo Lyn?“

„Ey, we looked for you!“ Suddenly you see four figures approaching you causing you and the boy next to you standing up.

Really? That there wasn’t already a massacre at this party fascinates you when you see Joo Hyuk emerging your forms with confident steps his eyes flickering between you and the boy. What shocks you even more is seeing your bestfriend holding hands with a guy next to her that seems to be on of Joo Hyuk‘s fiends and also the trio are the exact same men from your shift.

Leaving you confused who was the boy next to you but seeing his eyes turn into crescents while smiling at his fiends you suddenly feel at ease.

Only Mr. Pervert ruins the mood by winking at you.

„Come one that’s really funny!“ Hyo Lyn giggles at the situation and you cannot hide your smile, too.

„What are you doing here outside? (y/n) I’ve looked for you everywhere!“ Joo Hyuk happily explains and you stiffen a little bit by his statement. Their friend next to you seems to notice and lightly lays his hand on your shoulder to provide you with a feeling of safety.

Poor boy... don’t know he’s messing with a demon and wouldn’t stand a chance against the pervert.

„(y/n) and me wanted to drive to the diner and eat something. Do you want to come along?“

You could swear something flickered in the boys‘ eyes‘ at this moment but you couldn’t lay a finger on what. „No, no. It’s okay. (y/n) seems to be tired and we still want to start this pool party. Am I not right?“ Joo Hyuk laughs at the others and they also happily agree.

Your gaze goes back to him and he smiles and nods at them. „Have fun guys and call me if I should pick you up.“

He guides you to his car which was an expensive Audi R8 and immediately the thoughts comes to your mind if he drives too fast.

Like sensing your doubts the boy comes around the car again and opens the door for you. „You don’t have to worry... I will drive slowly I know you still have alcohol in your system.“

Is he cute or isn’t he?

The night turns around very good in the end. He holds his words and you don’t have to vomit or something. After eating something delicious at the diner with him you feel a lot better now and didn’t even felt the urge to look at your display since the party. Talking comes easily with him and he’s also a very charming guy with a good amount of humor.

After he stops in front of your dorms he gets out again and opens the door for you. He holds out his hand for you to take it and when you take it confidently you feel a slight shock.

„Ouch!“ He looks shocked but also apologizes quickly.

„Oh, haha. I am sorry... Maybe that was a sign?“ He smirks with crescent eyes again and you could cry out at how cute he is.

„Who knows?“ You look him deeply in the eyes and you can feel his smile vanish slowly. You gulp and quickly realize what you’re doing.

Stop flirting (y/n)! Cheater!

You mentally roll with your eyes - which you do... quit a lot?

I am the cheater? What’s with them? They give a shit about me at the moment! I can play this game, too!

Without noticing it you slowly nod with your head gaze turned to the ground and a devilish grin on your face.

„Ehm, I just asked if I could have your number...“

Oh, yeah. He was still there.

„Of course!“

(y/n) no!

You gave him your number and let yourself fall onto your bed a huge grin not leaving your face. You don’t have to feel bad, right? You texted San if he wanted to hang out but you could only imagine what he did in that moment. Woo Young was obviously also busy and you didn’t know who of the others attended the party.

You could’ve texted into the group chat you idiot.

Yes, you could’ve but you didn’t want to.

Suddenly you felt the guilt coming back... now that the boy left your mind it seems like you have to think about them. You take a look at your wrist and recall the electrical shock with the boy.

You don’t know his name... That’s what you only realize now. Well, if he decided to text you could ask him.

Eying you wrist again you try to see something that could resemble a mark; the one they gave you. Tonight you don’t really understand why they did it in the first place. You feel anger bubbling inside of you but decide it is worthless to worry about things you cannot change right now.

To get a decent sleep you think back to the crescent eyes and shining orbs that lulled you in. You find sleep better this night and all thanks to the stranger...

You wake up with a blurry sight. Your limbs are burning and a headache forms. You also feel very hot - shit, again?

Maybe you didn’t rest well enough the last time... you roommate asks you if she can help you with something before she head out for the day and you decline thankfully.

It would be the best to make some tea and sleep the day off maybe tomorrow it would be better and you could go back to university. Throughout the day you occasionally checked your messages and pouted when you received nothing. You don’t know if you hoped for him to text you or the others. Let’s say it didn’t shock you anymore that you received no text from the demons.

You also didn’t want to tell them about being sick again you hate the feeling of being a burden to someone... so you spent the day sleeping, groaning, drinking tea and watching shows.

Great sunday...

Luckily you had a good sleep this night but in the morning you didn’t feel any better... To this point you couldn’t shake off the feeling that the centrum of the stress might could be your wrist; exactly where your mark was located.

Maybe it is because of not being near to the demons lately? This doesn’t really makes sense either. There already have been more moments where you didn’t have much time for them and didn’t got sick... 

You clearly are not able to go to your courses today and ask Hyo Lyn to excuse you if someone in your shared courses asks.

Of course the girl wants to come over but you decline not wanting to spread your bacteria. You also ask your roommate to not worry but comply when she tells you she wants buy some medicine for you.

Ah, you were feeling really exhausted and bad again...

You wish someone of the boys would come over and take you into their arms and take care of you but you quickly shake the thought off.

Your wrist hurts again at the thought of them. What the actual hell?

Inside the mansion only Hong Joong and Seong Hwa pace around doing the housework. Well, Seong Hwa tells Hong Joong what to do because the leader is a mess when it comes to cleaning.

Hong Joong feels not good today and he didn’t do yesterday, too. It’s only a light tugging but he cannot say what it could be.

„Everything‘s alright?“

„Yes, just a bad feeling I guess. I wonder how (y/n) is doing. Did she eat? Is she happy? Is some professor getting on her nerves?“

Seong Hwa chuckles. Yes, their chosen mate definitely was someone who got triggered easily by hunger and soppy teachers.

„San told me she attended the party on saturday.“

„Why didn’t he tell us sooner?“

Seong Hwa shrugs while ordering Min Gi‘s laundry. „He just texted me she was there and he took a quick look at her and everything was fine. Hyo Lyn was by her side.“

„Mh, sometimes I feel like she’s taking a lot of her time.“

„Are you jelous, Kim?“ Seong Hwa‘s orbs shine in amusement and Hong Joong frowns at him in return.

„Nooo‘ I just would like to spend more time with her but I guess we should really take it slow...“

„Yes, that’s what we agreed on. Although I would like to apologize for the last time...“

Hong Joong emerged Seong Hwa‘s taller form and leans his head against his arms. „She knows we love her, don’t worry.“

Do you?

The end of the day comes and you decide to not be a pussy and text Yun Ho what he was doing only to be left on read. That didn’t hurt at all, asshole. Was he still salty because of the Joo Hyuk scene?

At least Yeo Sang should understand but he was one of those guys who disappeared for quite a time without telling you and you have the feeling now was the time for it again.

Or should you write something in the group chat? The sun was about to set down while you layed weakly in your bed scrolling through your phone. You found a quite funny video and decided it would be a good way to start a conversation and postet it into the chat.

Woo Young texted back a laugh smiley and the others also wrote something funny but Yun Ho, Yeo Sang and Hong Joong didn’t respond at all...

You couldn’t deny that you missed them even if it wasn’t meant in a romantic way. You missed your friends.

Much to your dismay you had to spend your time in bed the whole week... Luckily you were slowly feeling better and quickly worked out the stuff you missed in the courses. You decided not to write again in the chat and it was funny it became easier to not reply to them either or later because you just forgot.

There was a reason for it because your attention was set on something else or better someone else... He texted you.

First he apologized for not messaging you sooner and today he admit to you that he was a little bit shy and unsure about how to start a conversation with you. Cute...

You texted without a break and you laughed out loud when you asked him for his name and he told you could call anything you like so you decided for ‚charming‘.

You couldn’t come up with anything cooler.

You didn’t tell him about you being ill not wanting to ruin the mood and at the end of the week you asked him if he wanted to hang out.

And you did. It was good and felt at ease with him. He cooked for at his apartment and after that watched a movie together.

„Oh god, who thought it would be a good idea to use such bad synchronisation?“ He laughed out loud and chimed in.

Your head slowly became heavier und you didn’t even recognize that you started to lean on him.

„You have such a nice apartment... I wish I could afford something like this.“

„It’s nothing. I just recently rent it.“ He smiles down on you.

„Wow. What do you even do for a living.“ I doesn’t go unnoticed that he becomes a little bit stiff at your question but you ignore it.

„Let‘s just say I have to do with management.“ You nod at him.

„How old are you?“

„I am 23 years old.“

„Oh, I hope I am done with my education at this age, too.“

„Of course. You’re a smart one, (y/n). I will help you anytime you just have to ask.“ He tilts his head a little bit and places a small kiss on your temple.

You hiss out and shriek back when you wrist starts to burn.

„Woah, is everything alright?“

„Yes, yes...“

His orbs turn a lot darker as he watches the tip of your fingers graze over your wrist. He licks his lips at the sight but immediately arranges himself when you look back at him.

Suddenly your phone rings up and you take it to look who calls you. „Hong Joong?“

„Who’s it?“

„Just a - a friend. Excuse me for a second.“ He nods at you and you go to the kitchen.

„Hello?“

„(y/n)? Where are you?“

„I am out.. Why though?“

„You’re not at your dorm and your roommate wasn’t there, too. I wanted to pick you up for a late movie night...“

„Oh, I am sorry. It’s so late already?“

„Where are you so I can pick you up? We’re missing you, (y/n)... also me and Yeo Sang felt something a few seconds ago.“

„Yeo Sang is back?“

„Yes, but, are you alright? I said we felt something like a sting.“

„Oh, no. Everything’s alright I don’t think I am in for it, tonight. Sorry...“

„Mh, okay. You would tell me when there’s something, right?“

You pause at his question. Lately you weren’t honest at all and now you feel like shit because they suddenly decide to connect you again. You sigh. Right now you’re with the charming boy and it would be rude to just leave.

„Of course I would.“ Lie

„Ok, then take care. I hope I am not annoying you.“

„You’re not! No, you’re not. I am happy you called me...“ You really were.

„Bye, (y/n).“

„Are you ok?“

„Ah, yes. My friend just worried for me.“

„Must be a good friend then.“ He lightly smiled at you and reached out his hand for you to take.

Just like Hong Joong never called you all thoughts to them vanish again when you take his hand and let him guide you back into the living room.

You make yourself comfortable in his embrace and you continue the movie. You are very aware on how his breath tickles the hair on your neck and you feel yourself heat up at the close approximation.

You try to hide your nervousness by ignoring him and playing like you don’t recognize his slow movements with his palm on your thigh.

„(y/n).“

You gulp and feel like your heart stops. His index finger lands under your chin and in the softest way he tilts your head so you’re facing him.

„Can I - I really want to kiss you... but I need your consent...“

You weakly nod at him already too engulfed in the moment. He flashes you a dazzling smile and you could swear you saw something flashing in his dark orbs at your answer.

Before you can think about it anymore his lips are pressed on your own trembling ones in a delicate way. You shudder at how aroused you feel and the sensation his touches leave on your form are overwhelming.

The hold on your thigh becomes tighter and with the other one his fingers start to caress your neck. He uses your moaning to explore your mouth with his tongue and it feels like you entered heaven.

When he starts to kiss down your chin and neck you quite overhear something he mumbles with a breathless voice.

„Mine...“

Too engulfed in the pleasure you’re receiving you don’t notice him taking your wrist carefully and kissing along your arm until he lands on the place where your mark is supposed to be.

You open your eyes when feel a tingling sensation there and suddenly hear voices in your head becoming louder and louder the more he sucks on there.

„What is happening?!“

„We have to find her!“

„Yeo Sang! Shit, help him up!“

„Stop!“

You lean back and he looks at you confused and concerned but it’s quickly replaced with a shy smile.

„What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?“ You frantically look around searching for something you don’t even know. Those voices...

„I - I have to go... I am sorry.“

„I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable but it’s okay, we achieved a lot for today.“

What is he talking about?

Only now you see your display blinking up repeatedly and the missed calls and texts from the demons.

You sense him watching you out of your eyesight and quickly put your cellphone back.

„I will bring you back home.“

You nod when he stands up leaving you clutching at your wrist with a bad feeling.

The car ride is silent and you decide to use his concentration on the road to text into the group chat that you’re heading back to the dorms.

When you open the door all the boys are already scattered around leaving your roommate sitting uncomfortable on her bed and a sign of relief crosses her features when you enter the room.

Immediately Min Gi grabs your hand and drags you out again followed by the others.

„What are you - ?!“

Min Gi puts you with him in the back seat petting you everywhere and kissing your hair with a frown on his face. Jong Ho starts the engine and drives home so fast you don’t even want to know the limit you’re reaching.

„(y/n)...“ He whimpers out and you turn your head to see his face that is illuminated by the lamps of the road.

A tear is rolling down his features and you swear you’ve never seen Min Gi crying before and he also didn’t touch you like this ever.

He hides his face in your neck and starts to cry. „Please don’t leave us...“

You felt awful. Never ever have you felt so ashamed and disgusted by yourself. You let another man touch you and especially the holy place of your mark and now you would have to face the consequences.

Your heart hurt at the sight of him clutching at you like his life depended on it. He held you in his big embrace like you would vanish any second.

„I would never leave you.“ Now a single tear also rolled down your cheek.

All of you sat silently. Until Yun Ho decided to speak up...

„What did you to with Joo Hyuk?“

Everyone tensed up at his name but you only frowned at his question.

„What do you mean?“

„You know what I mean. If you wouldn’t be my bestfriend I would consider thinking of you as a bitch, (y/l/n) (y/n)!“

Totally confused you stood up and let out your anger by landing a full smack on his cheek.

„I am not a bitch, Jeong Yun Ho! I won’t lie that I didn’t do anything but at least I am not fucking around every weekend like you guys!“

Now it was your time to let out everything that boiled up in you.

„You’re not giving me attention! You’re not answering my texts! You don’t care at all! You’re saying you have feelings for me but you’re not!“

„Don’t say this, dear - “ Jong Ho eyes you with a soft look and tries to reach out for you but you hold your hand up to stop him.

„No! You’ve been hurting me and guess what? I can play the game, too!“

Behind you Woo Young and San tense up.

„You know they mean nothing for us...“

„It doesn’t matter, Jung Woo Young. It hurts me so much... How can I ever trust you when all you do is - do is - nothing?“

Again everyone remains silent and also Yun Ho takes a step back to sit down next to Seong Hwa who rubs his eyes tiredly.

„We can get through this. I know we can... I feel like those are all misunderstandings...“

Yeo Sang always was a person that liked the harmony and it showed again.

You weren’t so sure of his words and bit your lips so harshly that you draw blood letting the tears out again.

„Please, (y/n), we love you. We love you so much. Please don’t give up on us...“

„San is right... we all have to better ourselves. We have to talk and be honest with eachother. Respect us more. Love isn’t easy but I can proudly say that I would do anything for you and us to work.“

You look into Seong Hwa‘s eyes and feel your bond coming to life at his words.

„Like we already said... a demon love is so rare and beautiful like you are (y/n); but - we would never force you to something you don’t want. We will always love you and we want you to be happy... even if it’s without us.“ Hong Joong says eyeing all his brothers who flinch at his words but not say something against it either.

„Angel, I beg you, please... don’t be afraid to show your feelings.“ Yeo Sang seems like to stare into your soul and you know that he knows what you want to do right now.

So you do it. You fall into his arms and sob into his chest. You let it all out and you can fell someone embracing your from behind, too.

You heart feels at ease and you couldn’t say that for a long time. Especially at Yeo Sang‘s and Hong Joong‘s touches you feel the bond coming to life igniting a wonderful sensation inside your systems.

This night you decide to sleep at theirs but of course not without all of you making a sleepover in one room. Fortunately you are the girl and were able to sleep on Yeo Sang‘s bed between him and the leader.

Totally forgetting about Charming and the events of the previous night.

Well, all of you were to exhausted to talk this out so it had to be done in the morning.

Oh, and the questioning turned out more interesting than everyone would’ve thought.

You decide to text him. It was a shitty move especially after last night but it had to be done. Much to your disbelief he only sent you back a smiley leaving you utterly confused.

After the breakfast you gathered around in the garden to finally tell you the truth and discuss on how to deal with Joo Hyuk.

San and Woo Young have been especially clingy to you also feeling very bad about having you hurt so much. Honestly, San craved a lot of your attention and body but he didn’t want to scare you so he decided to distract himself. He really didn’t know it would bother you so much and now he was devastated realizing the shit he done...

„I cannot breath, Woo Young...“

„Oh sorry.“ He smirks at your playfully and you peck him on his lips catching him off guard.

They were all so beautiful but not only in features but character, too... Why did you only realize it now?

Yeah, dumb bitch.

After telling you everything about Joo Hyuk that he wants to claim you and that being the reason for the pain at your mark and also you sickness you gulped.

„Now we have to find a way to deliver the message that he should leave you alone.“

„Or we just kill him.“

You sink further into San‘s side and he gives Jong Ho a silent glare knowing exactly how you would react to something like that.

„Guys, ehm, yesterday...“

Oh, it’s really time you’re telling them about it.

„Yesterday I wasn’t with Joo Hyuk. To be honest, I didn’t see him since a week or more...“

„What? (y/n), you had a scent on yourself from a demon yesterday. Whoever you spent time with was a demon!“

Panick takes its place over everyone’s features at your words and Hong Joong‘s eyes turn into an angry red color.

„I knew she smelled different! Now I know what that smell is...“

„Who is it? Hyung? (y/n)?“

„I - I don’t know his name...“

„You went home with a stranger, made out and don’t even know his name?!“ Seong Hwa‘s definitely in his mother role right now and you look to the ground ashamed.

„I don’t know... He felt so safe and my mind told me not to question it - “

„Typical for a demon like him. He manipulated you quite well.“ Hong Joong spits out with fire and starts to walk in circles.

„I guess you have his number?“

You nod at Yeo Sang.

„Text him to meet at the sightseeing platform at the mountain in the west.“

„What are you planning?“

„Seems like he was able to ignite a strong spark in her but not when she’s with us.“

„What are you talking about?“

Woo Young smiles in mischief at his brothers while petting your head. „Eight mates are stronger than one.“

„Don’t worry, cupcake. You will understand soon.“

You waited for Charming at the point and couldn’t believe yourself when you stupidly smiled at him. From the distance he already waved at you and if it wasn’t for the demons behind the trees you feel like you would’ve fall for him easily again.

„You look cute today. I am happy you texted me so quickly... to be honest I was a little bit afraid after yesterday that it was too early for you.“

You wonder how someone can lie so effortlessly and shudder when he wraps his fingers around your wrist where your mark is located.

He leans down when you’re not answering and gulp nervously when he tries to kiss you...

„The nerve...“

San comes out next to you joined by the others and you can see Charming starting to smile with his crescent eyes.

„I shouldn’t have let you go yesterday, little bird.“ He nearly whispered it out and you tremble when he places a soft skin on our forehead.

„Touch her again and we will kill you, Cha.“

He turns around and San and Woo Young are quick to take you into their arms and lead you further away from the scene. The demon follows your form and you are suddenly scared by his intimidating eyes.

„Ah, Hong Joong... I feel like I’ve lost myself in the whole thing a little bit too much.“

„You just didn’t succeed, Eun Woo.“

„Yes, this time you won. Your little human is not as dumb as I thought.“

Ouch that hurt although you just figured out what an ass he is. Woo Young‘s arms tighten around your form and the others tense up. Jong Ho cracks his knuckles to warn the demon to insult you any more.

„Why did you do that?“

„Clearly not for claiming her. I wanted to take the one love like you did with me...“

„Mi Na murdered humans and it was our task to bring her down. We would’ve not killed her if there would’ve been another way.“ Seong Hwa speaks up.

„She had problems! Okay?! You didn’t understand her! No one did!“

Tears are floating down when reality crushes in... Eun Woo wanted to kill you... and if it wasn’t for the boys you would not be alive right now. Joo Hyuk only was a marionette in this game and you only realized it now...

„We don’t want to hurt you, Eun Woo... Take your claim off her and leave us alone.“

„I said we don’t want to hurt you but we will.“

You sensed the distress of your mates and watched how everyone got into a fighting position leaving Woo Young and San next to you ready to get out of the scene if needed.

Eun Woo looks around him and starts to understand that he’s overpowered. He lets out a disgusting cry full of pain and anger.

„I will take it back...“

Hong Joong gives the demons next to you a sign and they near the other demon with slowl steps. He reaches out his hand and San takes your wrist carefully and guides it into his direction.

Eun Woo looks at you with tears in his eyes and sadly although you hate him right now you can feel his pain. He positions his lips over your wrist and breathes in leaving you lightheaded and suddenly blacking out... you feel free and suddenly the clouds in your mind and the headache you didn’t even noticed anymore are gone.

You open your eyes rubbing them with your palms feeling like you just awakened from a deep slumber.

„Good morning, sunshine.“

„Yun Ho...“

„Yes, the one and only.“ He shoots you a radiant smile and suddenly the door bursts open the other demons literally running inside.

„Cupcake! You’re awake!“

„How long did I sleep?“

„29 hours.“

„What happened?“

„Everyhing is okay right now. He’s gone... back to the demon world to be exact and he took his minions with him.“ Yun Ho tells you while caressing your hand.

You sit up and look into your lap. „Thank you, for everything and I am very sorry.“

„Stop, (y/n). We’re together now and you’re safe. That’s all what matters.“

You smile at them tears of joy running down your cheeks.

„Are you ok to go downstairs and eat something? Woo Young tried to cook - “

Said boy rolls with his eyes. „I didn’t try! I trained a lot!“ You giggle at his words and Yun Ho motions for you to sit up and take his hand so he can help you.

Halfway out of the room you stop...

„Guys...“ Everyone turns around watching you with curiosity.

„I think I might start falling in love with you.“ You quickly close your eyes out of embarrassment and San comes to take your palms that shield your face away with his own hands.

„It isn’t that hard, right?“

You become red like a potato and stomp with your food. „But it is!“ Everyone laughs at your cuteness but it would definitely be a hard way to express your feeling like this more...

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author: Well, what a nice ending to this part!

wooyoung: Where’s my smut.

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↺ back to navi

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[wisteria-lodge]

snake primary (bird model) + lion secondary (bird model)

I’m feeling really lost when it comes to my secondary. I’m fairly sure I’m a Snake Primary with a strong Bird model. But My secondary is tripping me up and I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I’ve been severely depressed for about 6 years, dealing with PTSD for 12, and dealing with anxiety since middle school. I’m also getting evaluated for ADHD. I’m getting help so don’t worry. So, here we go.

You seem pretty okay. I’ll keep an eye out for possible burning though.

Bird: I do think I have a Bird model. I plan things, I research the heck out of things when I need to make a decision, I’m always asking for advice (like now…), etc. But a lot of that seems driven by anxiety and fear of messing up. I literally never asked for advice until middle school, which was when the anxiety started. 

We have us a Bird secondary model that you built as a coping mechanism.

I do love to learn languages and I like to watch videos on YouTube about historical fashion and stuff like that. I used to read constantly but I’m so burned out that lately I haven’t read much. If I have a new interest, I can never do things by halves. I also have a huge cookbook collection and a huge collection of quotes on Evernote. I love puzzles and figuring things out. But yeah sometimes I’ll just be like “let’s check every book about tea/socialism/the regency era out of the library.” Then I text my Double Badger friend who is super into tea about it and she responds, “Just enjoy drinking your tea, what are you doing??” Okay now I’ve confused myself and I’m wondering if I really am a Bird. Or maybe that’s all ADHD hyperfocusing. Probably? Ugh. Who am I??

So your Bird model is also something you use to play, that’s good. And you love being social too. People focused Bird? 

I don’t think I do the Bird Actor thing, though occasionally I’ll pretend to be a character for fun when I’m walking on the sidewalk or something. And I’m not a strategist? When I play chess or RPGs or write I just kind of try to go for it and figure it out along the way. 

You’ve got a bit of an improv-for-fun thing going on. Snake? Lion?

But that doesn’t always end up working so I do now plan out my longer pieces of writing to avoid plotholes and getting off track.

Coping mechanism Bird secondary model. 

I’m very conscious of how I frame things. Like if I sense incoming drama, I make sure to speak up first and frame things in my favor so that people will be on my side. It’s not automatic, though. Like as soon as I realize there’s going to be some sort of confrontation, I’m thinking to myself very quickly, “Okay. To get people on my side I need to talk to them before the other person does and frame things X way and make these facial expressions.” Usually this does not involve lying, just telling the truth in a way that favors me. 

This honestly sounds pretty Actor Bird. This sort of thing is a lot more… automatic, if you’re doing it though a Snake or a Badger secondary.

I was a terrible liar until high school when I made the effort to learn how to lie effectively

Here’s that Bird secondary again, picking up the slack. 

I do feel like I tend to reflect people a little, though? Like if people are talking about politics and make it clear they’re super conservative, I will just talk about the few things that I agree with. 

That could point to Courtier Badger…

I don’t like arguing with people anymore because I’m scared they won’t like me or will be offended. This goes double after the last two elections when multiple people dropped me for disagreeing with them and other people said I made them uncomfortable for…having what I see as generic normal opinions. I’m also just not good at thinking up arguments on the fly at all because everything gets all jumbled in my head and I forget details so arguing makes me feel stupid. I tried to do debate one year in school… Oh man what a disaster. If I’m arguing in writing though and I can look stuff up? They better watch out.

Wait, whoa. You like arguing for fun? And the only reason you don’t is because things got more intense after the last election + arguing in real time is annoying since sometimes your memory doesn’t cooperate? Oh that’s Lion. Lion secondary or Lion secondary model.

At the core of it though, I don’t really lie unless it has a purpose (getting something I can’t get otherwise, trolling friends for a laugh, avoiding punishment) and isn’t a big deal.

“trolling friends for a laugh” sounds pretty darn Lion secondary. As does the implied getting-into-trouble that “avoiding punishment” would require.

Will I answer on a form that I’m x religion that I was raised as to get into a Facebook group I really want to be in? Yes. If someone straight up asked me what religion I am currently practicing? I would NEVER lie about that. The thought makes me feel physically ill. I also lost those family members because the thought of pretending I liked the loser of our recent election was disgusting. And if I truly hate someone because they deeply hurt me or a loved one, nothing can make me pretend to like them. The most I can do is be coldly polite in that situation and usually I can’t even manage that.

That’s Lion. I could see that go back to either a Lion primary or secondary, but if you’re happy with your Snake primary, I’m going to put down another point for Lion.

But like…would I lie about my address to get a library card for the much better county library system next to my tiny independent city? (My state is weirdly structured). No guilt at the thought of that and I’ve seriously considered it but they require proof of address.

You’re a little bit of a rule-breaker, aren’t you? And that’s a side of yourself you really like. That’s Lion. 

Basically if it will help me get something I need, I’ll feel better about lying, but otherwise I feel uncomfortable and usually I try to be at least “technically” truthful. Which sounds sort of Lion? Oh wow I thought I was going to be asking about Snake vs Badger but instead it’s Bird vs Lion. 

…ADHD Lion with fun and helpful Bird model? IDK. 

I think so :) 

[novelsandtea]

Book Review: A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J. Maas

Rate: 4.5/5

Nesta Archeron has always been prickly-proud, swift to anger, and slow to forgive. And ever since being forced into the Cauldron and becoming High Fae against her will, she's struggled to find a place for herself within the strange, deadly world she inhabits. Worse, she can't seem to move past the horrors of the war with Hybern and all she lost in it. The one person who ignites her temper more than any other is Cassian, the battle-scarred warrior whose position in Rhysand and Feyre's Night Court keeps him constantly in Nesta's orbit. But her temper isn't the only thing Cassian ignites. The fire between them is undeniable, and only burns hotter as they are forced into close quarters with each other. Meanwhile, the treacherous human queens who returned to the Continent during the last war have forged a dangerous new alliance, threatening the fragile peace that has settled over the realms. And the key to halting them might very well rely on Cassian and Nesta facing their haunting pasts. Against the sweeping backdrop of a world seared by war and plagued with uncertainty, Nesta and Cassian battle monsters from within and without as they search for acceptance-and healing-in each other's arms.

 This is the fourth book in Sarah J. Maas’s A Court of Thorns and Roses world. If you haven’t read the first three books – Go read them! Not only are they amazing stories, but this book will not make much sense without the background, even if it is more of a spin-off from the core trilogy. 

I really liked this book! It has a little bit of everything: drama, quests, banter, romance, danger, spice (okay more than a little bit there). Its over 750 pages long, and I spent almost every free moment I had reading it and was finished in three days. That’s saying something since I’m not a particularly fast reader. I had worried about getting into a story that was not only not focused on my favorites from the previous books, but one of the two POVs was probably my least favorite character of the entire series (hello Nesta). By the time I finished it, however, I was cheering for every success these characters had! I seriously recommend this book, especially to anyone interested in a story that has a slower build but is still packed with wonderful moments that will have you at the edge of our seat.

Aaaand that’s really all I have for the non-spoiler section! Full review below.

SPOILERS AHEAD!

Since finishing the book, I’ve sat down and really thought about the plot of the story. As Maas’s books are typically very action packed, I had gone into this book expecting the same. While still having some real tense action scenes, a lot less happens in this book which is surprising considering its size. I think that is telling of Maas’s talent in her character development and her ability to make a story of recovery and growth as riveting as one filled with war and battles. The majority of the story is focused on Nesta and her healing from the traumatic events she had gone through during the previous books. I truthfully never really liked Nesta, and I found her to be incredibly selfish and harsh. Even in the beginning of ACOSF, she is always angry and lashing out at everyone around her. While it had me wanting to pull out my hair, I ended up loving that we get that unapologetic broken character in the beginning. We follow Nesta throughout her entire arc of recovery. We see her in her lowest of lows and are right alongside her as she learns how to work through her traumas and pain and face the person she has become. I especially loved the focus on healing broken relationships and accepting both responsibility and forgiveness. Not everything is perfectly healed by the end, but we do see Nesta walking a better path having accepted all parts of herself, both dark and light. A lot of time is spent on Nesta trying to push down that darkness and death that she associates with her powers. Seeing her not only accept that part of her but finally understand how she can exist beyond it was so impactful, and I think it does a good job of holding a mirror to similar feelings that I believe a lot of people have experienced. I really loved the hike and breakdown that followed her explosion at Amren’s place and the reveal to Feyre. The way mental health is represented in this book is refreshing, and so many parts of it felt so raw and real. It really struck a chord with me, and moved me in many ways as I was reading. It may sound cliché, but reading about Nesta learning to heal helped me acknowledge and accept parts of myself.

While Cassian is half of the POV in this book, it truly does feel like Nesta’s story. That being said, I did love the parts of Cassian we had. I loved reading his struggle with wanting to be there for Nesta in the ways she needed but also needing to protect himself. I adored how he truly saw her and always accepted every part, even all the ugly spots. When he felt the mating bond snap into place but left knowing Nesta couldn’t deal with it at that time, gah I was dying. Cassian never once pitied her. He wanted to help and protect her, but he knew it was a journey she had to do herself. He is a leading force in Nesta’s growth and constantly offers both his own strength and vulnerability. I really enjoyed seeing the love grow between them, especially as Nesta learned to open herself more to the possibility of healing and finding her own place and purpose. I just really can’t get enough of them together! I also really loved the moments we got between the three brothers – I was surprised by how much I had wanted those scenes. It was exciting to get a closer glimpse into that aspect of Cassian’s life, and the bond between him, Az, and Rhys.

I can’t avoid at least mentioning the smut in this book. All I will really say is this book has really stepped fully into the adult category. The scenes were extremely intense, steamy, and pretty descriptive. If you were looking for that typical Maas smuttiness aspect, be prepared for this book to be several notches above what we’ve seen previously (and a lot more of it).  

I could seriously talk about this book forever, but as I already fear I’ve begun to ramble, I’m just going to list some of my favorite things I haven’t mentioned yet below:

 The House!! I loved the relationship that developed between it and Nesta. Their interactions really became conversations, and I loved the idea of a sentient object becoming a core force in Nesta’s life. Also only-bubble baths and a baby pegasus are always a win.

Every snarky comment between Nesta and Cassian. Extremely entertaining and witty.

The entire Court of Nightmare scene with the dancing. So powerful and I loved seeing Nesta in her element.

The process of Nesta, Emerie, and Gwyn coming together. I really loved reading about their training together, and the chapters once they meet up in the Blood Rite were some of my favorites. Their mini romance book club was precious.

A Rhys and Feyre baby! While I had some issues with this plot point, I still enjoyed the place it had in the story. The reactions of Cassian and Azriel was one of my favorite moments of the entire book.

The introduction to what I assume is the next major villain for the rest of the series. While it didn’t feature too largely until the end of the book, I think it did a good job setting up the situation for future installments.

The search for the Dead Trove. I really loved each moment we get, especially with the kelpie during the search for the mask. Good stuff

A few things I didn’t love:

I didn’t love how often Mor was gone. I know she did not really have a role in this story, but it would have been nice to see her more in passing as we did other characters.

The whole early delivery aspect of the pregnancy plot line. It felt a little plot convenient to me, and no explanation was ever given. I did like Nesta’s sacrifice and that moment, but I didn’t like how and why it happened.

I didn’t love that Rhys was trying so hard to hide the truth about the pregnancy from Feyre. I can kind of understand it when thinking about how he knew they were all probably going to die (that dumb bargain what the heck) but it is still stupid. Not the biggest issue to me, just not my favorite thing.

How much time we spent focused on the queen only to have her completely removed from the entire story in a blink. I know Nesta was insanely powerful at the time, but I just wanted…more.

I went into this book with very different expectations from what I got. I really enjoyed reading it, and I will definitely be getting the next book when it is published. Whether you loved or hated Nesta in the earlier books, I would recommend giving this one a chance. It sure changed my mind! Let me know your thoughts, I would love to discuss it!

[gale-dragon-writer]

Dupain-Cheng Twins: Mari & Max A/U Moments. The Comment that Lila Shouldn't have Heard.

(Note, Lila doen’t know and hasn’t been told that Marinette and Max are bio-twins)

Alix, Kim, Nino, and the Dupain-Cheng Twins decided to spend have a little picnic together at the Paris Botanical Gardens this Saturday like they use to when they were little. They planned this a week in advance and made sure that each of their families knew about this outing. Nino had a little problem with letting Alya know that he couldn’t go on any dates this Saturday but promised to make it up to her the next day.

“Sometimes, I think Alya has selective hearing,” Alix commented when Nino told them that what he had to go through to make sure he had today free.

That was when Kim added, “Yeah, you sure can pick 'em, right Nino,” as he nudged the red capped teen next to him. Causing Marinette to giggle and Max to roll his eyes in amusement.

The older Dupain-Cheng Twin happily carried a decent sized picnic basket as the younger carried the oversized blanket. Nino brought the music with his mp3 and wireless speakers. Alix brought all the drinks in a decent sized cooler. Kim brought the butterfly lures for them to use to attract the butterflies that called the botanical gardens their home. When they arrived they paid the entrance fee for their group, after the staff made sure that the lures were safe, and they got their stamps to prove that they paid the fee, entered without a problem. They were just happy to be away from the drama of school and enjoy the peaceful scenery.

They found their usual spot away that they’ve always used for their little gatherings. It was a little off from the main path but it had a few security cameras to ensure that the plant and critter lives remain undisturbed. Once they arrived, they started setting up their picnic. “Hey sis, can you help with the blanket?” Max asked his older twin sister as he and Kim tried to open the oversized blanket while trying to prevent it from overlapping. Marinette happily nodded as she help the two out as Nino and Alix set the wireless speaker up and making sure the connection between it and the mp3 was in place.

}i{

Meanwhile...

Long story short, Alya called Lila to talk to someone about why Nino wanted this Saturday off from basically everyone. The liar could practically smell the opportunity to use this to paint Marinette in a bad light, but for that, she needed to make sure that either Nino and Marinette had no one to back their stories. So she followed (stalked) Nino as he met up with Kim, then Alix with a cooler, and then Marinette and Max with a basket and blanket. That did kill any idea of telling Alya that Marinette was flirtig with Nino since there were three witnesses that could immediately disprove her story. But...

‘What the? Why the hell are those losers up to?’ Lila thought as she now stalked the group of childhood friends and followed them to the Paris Botanical Gardens. The liar watched them enter the gardens and waited a minute before she tried to enter the arboretum.

“Excuse me miss, but there’s a small fee to pay before you can enter,” one of  the employee manning the entryway. The employee then tapped on the sign that showed the entry fees for each person. They were pretty decent prices, but there was a rather large compensation fee for littering and destroying the plant life inside.

But Lila thought it was stupid to pay to get into something as worthless as a garden, so she started crying about how she lost her grandmother’s ring inside when she came earlier in the day and wanted to find it as soon as possible. She was hoping that if she stir up a big fuss, they’ll let her in for free. But that didn’t happen, the staff pointed out the biggest flaw in her lie and proving that she wasn’t in the arboretum earlier. Lila didn’t have the stamp on her hand for today. When the liar tried to tell the employee that she washed it off by accident, the employee counter with the fact that there still would’ve been ink from the stamp staining her skin.

Noticing that the people around were starting to whisper and glare at her, Lila frowned and practically threw the money at the employee and stormed into the  arboretum. “Hey! You forgot your stamp!” the employee shouted at the brunette, but sighed and made a call on the employee walky-talkies giving Lila’s description and telling them that she paid the fee but didn’t stay for the stamp. That was moreso to avoid more drama from the teen than anything else. The employee then made a note to talk to the manager about the girl so they can post her picture at the entrance booths so they can be given the heads up about her if she tries that stunt again.

Lila just wanted to know what the group was doing and could hopefully use something to turn the tides of the class in her favor.

}i{

Kim carefully set the lures up, making sure that they wouldn’t spill and were a bit away from the picnic so that they weren’t knocked over by accident.

Once Kim re-joined the group on the blanket to start their picnic. They each took a bottle of their favorite drinks out of the cooler and then took some food from the basket. Alix took a sip from her drink when she said with a massive grin on her face, “You guys remember when we had Twin Day with a sub and he didn’t know that Mari and Max were twins?”

Nino laughed when he said, “Sure do dudette.”

Kim followed up with a, “Heck yeah! Dude paired them up and told them that they needed to try to be like twins! Aw man! I wish I could’ve taken a picture of his face when he found out the truth!” Then burst in laughter. Causing Alix to laugh. Marinette and Max glanced at each other before they joined in on the laughter. 

}i{

It took 15 minutes for Lila to find the group, their laughter gave them away. ‘A picnic?’ Lila thought in confusion as she hid behind some bushes at watch the group. She couldn’t hear what the group was saying from where she was, so she crept closer, trying to keep out of sight.

“I was so proud of the outfits I made for the day too,” Lila heard Marinette say happily. The liar rolled her eyes at the comment, not caring about that.

“As was I, it made the whole thing even better,” Max added as Lila saw him adjust his glasses. The group agreed and then laughed again. Lila rolled her eyes in annocance.

That was when Kim asked, “Speaking of outfits, hows that new one coming along, Mari?”

‘Oh?’ Lila thought, wondering if this could be something that she can sabotage or steal to claim as her own. If Lila could steal the sketchbook with the design in them and present them to Gabriel, telling them that she made them, she’ll practically marry Adrien. ‘At least if those designs are that good,’ Lila thought as she continued to watch the group.

Marinette smiled when she said, “It’s coming along nicely, but...” She then pulled out her sketchbook and added as she looked over the sketch, “I’m a little worried about how low the v-neck is... If it’s too high, then it ruins the appel I’m going for. But if it’s too low then... Well, you know.”

Kim playfully poked Marinette in the arm when he asked in a humorous tone, “You sure you can handle a low v-neck without becoming a blushing mess?” Marinette proceeded to whacking the taller teen over the head with the butt of her sketchbook. “Owch!” I was joking!” Kim exclaimed as he rubbed the new bump on his head.

Nino chuckled when he said, “Dude, you should know by now that you shouldn’t mess with Mari and her designs.” Kim grumbled something under his breath as he continued to rub the bump.

Max looked over Mari’s sketch before he commented, “If you’re using your own measurments, then *takes the pencel from Mari’s hand and starts drawing on the sketchbook*, you should start the v-neck here and end it here. That way you’re not showing too much while complementing your figure. There we go.” The group then looked over the modified sketch.

“Oh wow! It looks a lot better now,” Marinette said with a smile, before turning to her brother and adding, “Thanks Max.”

That was when Alix looked at Max when she asked, “How do you know Mari’s measuments off the top of your head?”

“He sometimes helps me with some of my designs,” Marinette started, then Max finished with, “Usually to make sure she finishes within a reasonable timeframe. I mostly help when it’s clothing that she’s making for herself, so that’s how I know.”

‘Huh? What’s geek-boy talking about?’ Lila thought with a raised brow. She then thought, ‘It sounds like he’s over at Maribrat’s house a lot if he helps her with making her designs... Interesting.”

Nino then said, “Oh yeah, that’s right. I keep forgeting that.”

“No big,” Kim said with a wave before he added, “Besides, Max is the best when it comes to numbers.”

Max pushed his glasses up when he said, “True, but there’s nothing about Marinette I haven’t already seen,” as he cased a sideways glance at Mari with a sheepish look.

‘Hello!’ Lila thought as her eyes lit up with joy. ‘Maribrat’s been... With Geek-boy! No way! But Oh~, this is gold!’ the liar thought with glee as she quickly and quietly crept away so she can weave some very nasty lies that will certainly cast the budding designer in a bad light, especially with Adrien and the rest of the school. ‘Maybe it was worth paying that stupid entrance fee after all,’ Lila thought as she practically skipped out of the gardens.

Too bad she left before she could hear,

“Max, we use to take baths together when we were little, so of course, you’d know. Besides, that means there’s nothing I haven’t seen about you too, my dorky little twin brother.” Marinette said as he playfully elbowed Max in the arm.

The bi-special boy smiled when he replied, “And you’re my over-achiving older twin sister.”

Alix pretened to gag when she said, “You two are just sickening cute with that banter.” Which caused Nino and Kim to laugh.

“Maybe we should bring Markov with us next picnic outing, I’m sure he’ll learn a lot,” Marinette told Max, who nodded with a big smile.

}i{ Until Next Time }i{

@princess-of-the-corner

@agent-numbuh-227