#the reason i told him that is bc i remember him saying i grounded it to nothing so it might be advantageous if i had extra height

[jaguarbandit]

I UFKCING LOVE TATER TOTS

[scourgeofmyownbrain]

Good fucking day, Robot enjoyers! Gaze upon the updated semi-accurate height comparison of Bumblebee across the multiverse.

This is an updated version of a chart I made a few months ago. I had gotten some feedback and then TFOne came out and I kinda had to update it. I also added a Gen 1 Optimus Prime for scale, for fun... no other reason... (edit: slight adjustment made, just corrected a slight mistake in the order)

I am also working on at least two more character charts and one universe chart, so hopefully I can finish those soon (for some fucking genius reason I decided to do the characters that show up EVERY FUCKING UNIVERSE so I'm s u f f e r i n g)

*PST! Optimus, Megatron, Shockwave, Soundwave, Ratchet, and Ironhide ones are done now*

Master Post

Listed Heights, Explanations, and Justifications below the cut, bc you couldn't shut me up if you tried and I had shit to say.

Gen 1 - ~10 feet (TFwiki says greater than 3 meters so I rounded up to the first whole number because round)

Netflix Cybertron Trilogy - ~10 feet (He looks identical to Gen 1 so... the reason his photo looks weird is because I couldn't find a good full body photo with him standing straight up facing the camera so I put two images together to make the worst looking photoshop job you have ever seen)

Earth Spark - ~10 feet (There is no confirmed height yet, but using this screen shot (see below) of him standing in front of a barn door, I was able to make a reasonable guess, bc I'm so smart.)

One V1 - ~13 feet (I am well aware of what the TFWiki says: 26.429 feet. And I fully reject that number. A: These numbers are sourced from the Walmart Promotional AR Experience that came out before the movie. B: There are three decimal points, and that number does not convert into a whole number in meters (which is originally what I thought was weird about it). C: The director has said that this movie is both canon to the LA movies and its own separate canon, and Bumblebee in both sets of LA movies does not exceed 20 feet tall. Ever. So, for sanity's sake, I have used the KCV numbers as my baseline. Bee grows when he gets his t-cog so shrink this one down a few feet. Look, I'm working on the Optimus chart rn, and one of the numbers from Beast Wars on the wiki was very observably wrong, and if I can dispute numbers older than me, I can dispute numbers 2 decades younger than me from fucking Walmart. Also, yes, his picture is 3 images sandwiched together)

Animated - 13 feet 3 Inches (There is no actual given heights, but in the comments of the previous version, @phoenix-inanis told me that they had done their own analysis of TFA heights and, gonna be real with you, I am blown away by all of their work and how detailed it is. Go marvel at how much work they put in -> https://phoenix-inanis.notion.site/TFA-Height-Chart-f6ad2960ca8c4c5b859ee4958723aaa4?pvs=4 )

One V2 - ~15 Feet (Please see reasoning above. Since this is as tall as we see Bee get, he's the same height as KCV Bee. Sweet fuck, I have put way too much effort into this shit)

Knight/Capel-Verse - 15 feet (No actual numbers, but Mirage is stated to be 15 feet tall (TFWiki), and he and Bee are like the same height, so... Capel directed the ROTB movie if you're wondering why his name is there)

Bayverse V1 - 16 feet (TFWiki. This is like the first 3 movies minimum, I don't remember when he hits his growth spurt. Also mr bay is king, we have numbers for nearly every character in BV)

Cyberverse - 18 feet (I'm gonna be honest, the only info we have is from a really shitty screen shot of a magazine. SO if any one has a copy of this book from the video below, a high quality scan would be greatly appreciated and I will kiss the ground you walk upon. Yes I found the video where the screen shot comes from leave me alone)

Bayverse V2 - 18 feet (TFWiki. Movie 4-5 I can't remember which one, I'm not re-looking this up. I fucking love the bayverse tho, this is the only universe with concrete and consistent this-character-is-this-height info)

Aligned Cont. WF/FOC - 20 feet (TFWiki/Fandom. Video game info screens you godsend, kiss me sweetly)

Aligned Cont. TFP/RID15 - 21 feet (These two designs are canonically identical, like in ALC canon, Bee has not changed visually at all...Ok, yes I got this number from fandom and they give literally no source for where they got these numbers. But, I can fully believe these are accurate. Just by looking at these characters on the show I can verify these numbers in my mind. Here, let's Compare.

This is Sam compared to Bee from one of the BV movies, I'm too lazy to check which one. Sam is average size for a human and we know Bee is 16 feet tall in the first three movies. Checks out. Let's now look at a TFP Character who is also 16 feet tall.

Jack is average size for a human, and the size difference is about the same. Can you see why I can't question the Aligned heights, even if they don't have a source??!?! They specifically made this universe to be full of freakishly tall robots for some fucking reason.)

Not Pictured: Aligned Cont. Rescue Bots and Rescue Bots Academy Bumblebee - 21 Feet tall. Look, did you want to see all 5 versions of ALC Bee? No, you don't. They're all the same height anyway; the back row would have just been a wall of redundant yellow. 5 different fucking art styles in one universe, why is that one my favourite.

Here's the front row and the back row separated into their own jpgs. I know it's kind of hard to tell which Bumblebee is which when they're all together.

[thesuperiorrobin]

𝐒𝐥𝐢𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝~

❥Pairing: Damian Wayne/Robin x Fem!Reader

❥Word count: 500

❥Warning: Description of being stood up but not on purpose.

During his nightly patrol, Damian could not help but feel like he was forgetting something. In the back of his mind, there was just something he could not remember, and he tried for his brain to remember something. But with you his duties in protecting the city, he pushes it aside for a bit until he reaches home. But it’s not until he visits you, bloodshed eyes, tear-stained cheeks, all dressed up for a special occasion that it starts to hit him after some time. When he first saw your appearance he was worried, asking you what the matter was.

“He stood me up” you sobbed, running into his arms as you clutched his black and yellow torn cape roughly “Damian stood me up!”

His heart sank to the bottom of his stomach as he hugged you back gently, frowning at the sight in front of him. You two are sat on the ground, thighs, and knees touching each other. Nothing but the sound of your sniffles could be heard and the soft whispering coming from both of you.

Months of talking to Damian, as he’s dressed in his Robin suit, having no idea that you’re talking about him right in front of his face without realizing gave him a new feeling. And explaining to Vigilant how much you like the boy who sits right next to you in most of your classes. Swooning over about how much of a helpful person he is despite others saying he isn’t—and it’s true, he’ll only help you. He won you over and you did the same without realizing it. You hold his heart right in the palm of your hands.

“I’m so stupid” he hears you whisper, letting out a breathy laugh “Stupid to think he actually liked me” he watches as you bring your knees up to your chest, hiding your face. Damian glances down at your form behind his green mask. He feels hurt—don’t get him wrong having people cry because of his doing gives him a sense of satisfaction. He’ll laugh and tease at those who shed tears—but when it comes to you, apparently being his first school crush. It’s a different story. He’ll hunt down anyone who makes you cry or feel insecure and in this case, he’ll have to hunt down himself.

Mentally, he beats himself up as he tries to watch the girl he had his eye on cry beside him, sobbing about his mistake that hurt her. He screwed up.

“I should have listened to the others when they told me it was just some stupid prank” you sniffle, chin propped up on your knees. “Rich boys have no hearts”

“It would have been he simply had just forgotten?” He tries to come up with something, but you just chuckle dryly looking up at the masked boy with sad eyes.

“Damian doesn't forget” you mumble “It’s a shame though. I really did like him” Your tears have stopped, nothing but the stained streaks down your cheeks left behind, your eyelashes seem to be longer than before and your eyes are a bit puffy. You blink once more and a single tear rolls down your face. Damian can only sigh, gloved hand coming up to whip it away

“I’m sure it was just a misunderstanding”

“I really hope it is”

A/N: Sorry I've been gone for like two weeks, I just need some time to myself bc I've been really drained for no reason. On top of that, I have finals, out of six classes I only have like two that I actually have to show up and study for so it'll probably take some time to post again, but I'll try to post as much as possible.

[alltimecharlo]

Arranged marriage Au!!!! I am almost unsure of where the tension would come from bc these boys r so love at first sight. But maybe there doesn’t neeed to be tension. I loveee arranged marriage au’s

looooove it!!!! so much potential here for a full fic tbh 🤭 i went for a more kingdom-based au — of course rick is marrying mack off for political gain 🙄🩵 fic under the cut!!

The palace halls are quiet in the early morning, a hush of velvet and stone. Mack moves through them like he’s in a dream, his ceremonial robes heavy on his shoulders, red and white silk trailing behind him, silver embroidery catching what little light filters in through stained glass. Each step echoes, and so does his heartbeat. Fast. Uneven. Relentless.

He’s getting married today.

To someone he’s never met.

He knows the reasons. A truce between the Boston kingdoms. An alliance forged through marriage, as old as time. His father, the King of Universalis, had told him over a late council meeting one night, voice firm but not unkind: “This is what duty looks like, son. Peace has a price, and today, it’s your hand.”

So Mack had nodded. Of course. For his people. For peace. But now, standing just behind the grand oak doors of the royal chapel, his palms sweat beneath his gloves, and his stomach feels like it’s been tied in knots.

What if they’re old? Or cruel? What if he has to spend his life beside someone he can’t even talk to?

“You’ll be fine,” his brother murmurs beside him, nudging his arm. Aiden’s in his own ceremonial dress, similar to Mack’s own but much less extravagant. “Try not to look like you’re being sent to war. It’s a wedding, remember?”

Easy for him to say. He isn’t the one being married off.

The music starts. The doors open.

And Mack sees him.

Will.

Prince William of Collegia, dressed in the deep maroon and gold of his kingdom, ceremonial blade at his hip, and shoulders straight as a soldier. His blond hair is carefully combed back, but a few loose curls brush his temple like they always belong there. His skin glows against the warm candlelight, and his eyes—sky-blue, sharp and clear—lock onto Mack the moment he steps into view.

Mack almost forgets how to walk.

Because Will is—gorgeous.

Not old. Not grim. Not even slightly unimpressed to be here. In fact, Will’s smiling, faintly, like he knows something Mack doesn’t. Like he’s been looking forward to this.

Mack tries to keep his face neutral. Dignified. But his heart’s beating a drumline in his chest, and his hands go clammy again as he reaches the altar.

“Prince Macklin of Universalis,” the officiant says.

“Prince William of Collegia,” Will answers, voice smooth as polished stone, the smile still playing at his lips.

They stand side by side.

Not touching, not yet, but Will lets the side of his hand brush against Mack’s. Barely a whisper of contact. Enough to ground him.

Mack glances at him. Will meets his gaze.

Grins.

Mack finds himself smiling back, a small, startled curl of his mouth.

The officiant continues, but Mack barely hears. All he knows is that the nerves have quieted. The knot in his chest is loosening. And this stranger standing beside him, who isn’t so strange after all, is suddenly the most solid thing in the room.

And maybe—just maybe—this might not be such a disaster after all.

♡

[rookiesbookies]

Captain John MacTavish x His wife x Sergeant Johnny 'Soap' MacTavish

I dont know how it would happen but i'm imagining sweet little Johnny ‘Soap’ Mactavish meeting Captain MacTavish and his wife. I guess this is me rewriting what happened bc Im made we’ll probably never see Neil as his boy again. 

Masterlist is pinned on profile as always, don’t forget to leave me a comment or a request in my inbox to let me know what yall want to see!

Smut smut smut under the cut for my lovely mutual @shotmrmiller of my John and his wife meet sweet little Johnny au thing.

Also @glitterypirateduck this one is for you and #soapitup

“Bhean,” he whispers loudly, following it with squirrel noises, motioning for her to follow. She walks out of the recreational room. He nuzzled bis face into her neck, letting her know he was nervous about what he was going to say. “I'm getting serious deja vu.”

“Talk to me, Goose.” A shameless quote of their favorite date night movie from when they dated made his nervous face crack a smile.

“I have this crazy memory,” he mumbled into her neck, she always worried he’d hurt himself craning it down like that so often.

“What about, don’t leave me on cliff hangers, Mr. MacTavish.”

“Do you remember our first time together?”

“Skiing or fucking? Because I remember both very well.” He chuckled at her bringing up his failed skiing attempts from a vacation they went on.

“Making love, Bonnie.” He hummed, “would you believe me if I told ya it’s because I had done it before?”

“Considering baby you told me he’d call me mommy? Yes. Yes, I would.” She hummed. “You also found my clit really fast which makes that really reasonable in retrospect.”

“What if, like my future self taught me at that stage, we teach him how to make love to you so he can charm you with the monster.” It came out more as a question, making his nerves hammer against his chest. He was more than sure he beloved wife would say yes, but he didn’t want to risk making her uncomfortable or saying it wrong. 

“He does really want to impress me,” she mumbled. “Fine. But there’s ground rules.”

“Of course, Mo chridhe, anything.”

“Just the tip, you know how I am about hygiene. I don’t fully try young you to keep everything clean. He swears to secrecy and if I ever think for a second he mentions this im ending his blood line. And you stay with us. You are my husband after all, not the boy.” The Captain nodded with every word. He’d make sure. He knew the Sergeant would want no harm to come to his future wife, and the Captain didn’t need a scorched relationship.

“Thank you, Mo leannan, it’s what helped me keep up hope I could lock you down when I met you when I was his age.”

“So it was a memory and more than deja vu?” She asked with a raised brow.

The Captain just simply nodded, planting a kiss on her temple, “you’d tell me if you wanted to back out right? If it made you uncomfortable?”

“John.” She was serious, she never called him just ‘John’. “I expect the same from you. And you’d know I’d never keep that from you.”

She reached up to his face and gently rubbed it. He melted just a little bit into her touch. “I assume you don’t plan to do this on base?”

“No, but that’s the hard part.” “I’ll handle it, go tell the mini you,” she said softly, planting a kiss before walking away.

The Captain sighed and let his shoulders relax, he knew he was so lucky to have her. The sergeant was about to be the lucky one though.

He made his way down the hall and stole his past self from a conversation with Gaz. “My wife and I have decided to give you an opportunity to learn more about her.” He said in a low deep voice. “I will be teaching you about her body so you can please her but there are ground rules she set and a few of my own.” Once he covered his wife’s, he got on to his own, “do not bite her, dig your nails into her, or ignore me if I tell you to do something. No coming inside either and don’t try anything.” Sergeant Soap nodded along, “I’m not sure you’re actually listening, sergeant.” The Captain growled. Soap’s eyes went wide, “Captain me, sir, I prayed last night for an opportunity to feel her skin, honestly I was just expecting to be allowed to shake her hand.” The younger Soap grumbled, “believe me, I’m all ears.” “And none of that ‘I have a latex allergy so I can’t wear condoms’ crap. I know we don’t have that allergy. You will be wearing one.” “You’re so no’ fun,” Soap mumbled. “Fine.”

The Captain didn’t entirely know how he felt about the kid creaming his wife. Sure, it was him, but it was a younger, rowdier, dumber him and not his same body. Getting married meant he was the only one allowed to cream pie his wife, and yes, it is a version of him, it wouldn’t be the same as him doing it. Even if his wife is on birth control and enjoys them, he knows he’d get jealous, way too jealous. Besides it’s his job anyway, he signed a paper to be able to do it, and this kid version gets to just randomly do it.

“So when do I get to show mo bhean how a younger body is better to make love with?” Sergeant asked, patting his older self on the back. This made the Captain flip until the voice of an angel spoke up.

“Ya mean when you meet yer own damn wife. Ya wee-” the Captain’s rage was cut off. “Tomorrow night. I’ll be there ahead of schedule to prepare, my husband will drive you.” She said, walking past the two with effortless grace and a sway of her hips. She flicked a piece of hair back over her shoulder. 

The next 24 hours were full of different forms of tension for younger Soap. He was eager, so eager, almost too eager in the Captain’s eye. The Captain’s raging jealousy made him almost want to shut down the whole thing. 

When he loaded the sergeant and himself into the old truck he sighed. “Remember the rules?” “Of course.”

“Can’t believe you still own this truck.” “She’s carried me through a lot.” “When you meet YOUR wife, she’ll appreciate it. Square bodies are her favorites.”

The rest of the drive was small talk. The sergeant saw a notification appear on the Captain’s phone and snatched it up, since the captain was driving. He back read the short conversation from this morning between the Captain and his wife, who had been the notification. ‘Mo chridhe you better not warm yourself up on that clarty vibrator’

‘You expect him to be able to get me warmed up enough?’

‘Its a teaching experience, mo leannan’

‘I don’t want to make him wait too long, I remember how impatient you were <3’

“Does she think ima div?” Soap looked at the Captain and asked. “Reading my personal texts? Real professional, ya eejit.”

“Does she think I can’t make her feel good? Or make her feel like she’s on Eccie?”

“No, she just doesn’t want you to wait too long. She does this. I bought it for her first time I left on a long mission, now she uses it to take away the fun part of getting her warmed up.”

“So she thinks I'm a fandan.”

“Dinnae fash yersel.” The Captain sighed, “we’re here and the least ya can do is make her feel good as a thank you.”

When he dragged his younger self into the hotel room, it finally set in that he was going to be cucked. By a younger him. Fucking his wife.

He knocked on the door twice and it kind of felt like his wedding night all over again. There she stood in a silk robe, eyes only on him with a gentle and soft smile. It's a smile she only gave when she was nervous, he gave a similar smile back to let her know he felt the same. It was subtle, but he reminded him this was indeed his beautiful wife.

“Go strip in the bathroom and sit down in the chair when you’re done, we need to talk.” The Captain said sharply. 

“Aye aye Captain,” the sergeant mumbled, walking into the bathroom. 

The Captain’s hands immediately found his way to his wife’s hips. 

“Are you nervous?” He asked, holding her close with his mouth near her ear between kisses he placed in her hair.

“Of course,” she said softly into his chest.

“Do you need to back out? We can leave and forget all about this if you need.”

“Do you need me to want to back out?” She asked soft, turning her head to look up into his eyes.

“No, I don’t think so, mo bonnie lass.” He said, planting a kiss on her forehead. “Give me a safeword to give him and a safeword for emergencies.”

“Two levels of safe words?” 

“Just in case I don’t hear the first one, he’s kinda loud.” She giggled and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Bubbles for him and Soap for emergencies.”

“My old callsign?”

“I never call you anyway,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Can I undress you and keep that privilege to myself?” All he needed was the little nod she gave before he moved to untie the robe. 

The lace blue bra she had been taunting him with with the matching panties drove him crazy. She ran her hands up and around his chest as his opened the clasp with one motion and undid the hooks holding the straps over her shoulders so she didn't have to remove her hands from his torso.

He sunk down lower as he planted sloppy kisses down her body and removed her underwear. Lovely pacing a kiss at her lower lips before trailing bite marks backup as the Sergeant exited the bathroom.

“I thought you said I couldn’t bite!” He accused as he watched the Captain leave a hickey on his wife’s chest.

“YOU can’t, I can.” This made the younger Soap look offended. The Captain smirked at the Sergeant’s face. “My wife, remember. Not yours.”

His wife just ran her fingers through his slightly grown out mohawk, a means to sooth him. 

Captain MacTavish moved to his wife’s ear and whispered softly, “may I told yer hand through this, mo ghraidh?”

“Gu sìorraidh is gu bràth,” she said back, pointing to the tattoo on her collarbone. When Soap heard it he almost fainted.

“She knows the language?” Sergeant Johnny asked.

The Captain hummed, pulling his mouth away from the dark hickey he was leaving on her neck, “learned a little bit for me.”

The Captain gave his younger self a once over before landing a sarcastic remark as his eyes landed on the bush, “glad to know you haven’t started shaving yet.”

“You trim?”

“Occasionally,” the Captain pulled his waistband down a bit, nuzzling into his wife, “I wax for special occasions. Yer lucky I found one who doesn’t care.”

The Captain locked his fingers with his wife’s, gently herding her to the bed. He laid her down gently and got her into a good position, shoving a few of the lousy pillows under her waist to offer a better angle.

“How are you?” He asked softly, rubbing his thumb over the back of her hand. “Ready as I can be,” she said with a soft giggle, as he bent down to plant a kiss on her lips.

“Sergeant, come here.” The Captain commanded, pointing at the foot of the bed, his wife couldn’t help the laugh that escaped her as she dropped her hand over her face. The Captain moved his wife’s knees apart with his free hand, the other still lovingly holding her’s. Johnny got on his own knees as John commanded him as he spread his wife’s pussy lips apart with his fingers. “Ya see that?”

“Yes.”

“Yes, sir,” John corrected Johnny. He basically gave his younger self a tour of his wife’s softest pieces. Telling Johnny her favorite things that he does and what she reacts best to. Johnny was so enthralled with her body he could move his eyes anywhere else. Especially when John put his fingers inside and curled them suddenly making her gasp so Johnny knew how far in her g spot was. The way her body jolted and softly raised as the gasp left her lips was his new favorite thing. He was so jealous he didn’t have her yet. That she wasn’t his wife yet, that he didn’t have the liberty to mark her body yet. “Get to work,” the Captain said, patting Johnny. He didn’t need to say it twice because Johnny went right in.

The wife brought her free hand down to her mouth to hold in the gasps and moans as Johnny ate so eagerly. John was usually slow and sensual, to the messy and a vehement eating that was happening at her core was a much different sensation. John gently pulled her hand away.

“Checkin in with ya, are ya doing good?” he asked his lovely wife. Her eyes couldn’t focus, her mouth gaping and shutting. 

She gave a nod and a hum as her body started to clench as Johnny inserted fingers between her legs and curled, making her body lurch towards the sky and gasp. The Captain gently placed kisses on her face, her velvety cries just make Johnny want to do it again. “She’s even prettier from this view,” Johnny mumbled, spreading her apart with his fingers.

“She donnae like condoms but imma make ye wear one anyway,” Captain Mactavish told his younger self before placing a kiss to the forehead of his flushed wife, still coming down from her orgasm as her husband ran his fingers through her hair as her breathing slowed with her closed eyes. John threw the condom at Johnny, who quickly rolled it on before standing up. “Donnae force it in, go in slow.”

Johnny positioned himself, putting one of the lovely wife’s ankles to his shoulder before giving it a soft kiss. He didn’t dare pull her down the bed like he would have normally done, he walked on his knees to meet her. Hands sliding down her legs to lift her ass, one he saw as so perfect.

He slowly slid it in as John kissed his wife’s face, holding her hand. She was more than used to John’s dick by now, but she was far from used to Johnny’s pacing. So much energy and stamina, not to say John didn’t have it but John was definitely more about making love than he was about fucking or just having sex.

Once she started to grind her hips, Johnny’s face lit up and he immediately started a toe curly, back arching pace. His tip bullied her g spot, making her mouth fall open but no sound falling from her lips.

John cooed at her as Johnny bullied her soft parts, not caring about his own pleasure, solely the pleasure of this goddess in front of him. Once he was sure he had found the spot, Johnny folded her a bit more to hit it a bit deeper, making sure everything was dragging against her.

The only thing that left her were whines, she felt her melted brain might just spill out her ears as the white, staticy heat built up. 

A nice ring built up around Johnny’s cock as he began to roll his hips. Her pulsating cunt milked him so much he felt an almost numbness in his fingers as all he could do was hold her and roll his hips as she let out a broken moan and came. Her husband’s voice echoing around her head with praises and loving words.

It was down right impossible for Soap to not come from her body's pulsations so he did. He wished it hadn’t been into a condom but he was grateful he just got the chance.

John gave him a look and Johnny took it knowingly, going to get a warm and damp towel. He handed it to John who began to clean his wife up, nodding to Johnny to let him know he could leave. 

Johnny didn’t know it was so John could reclaim his wife with some slow sensual sex and lots of love bites.

John, unlike Johnny, was going to come inside. Johnny looked at the photo he had taken of himself with the wife of Captain John from the night prior, "I'm going to marry you. Yer the one I've been looking for."

[driflew]

dare i say treesekai

ilex you've seen this one already but it's basically all i have. one of the unfinished/unposted treesekai 2 scenes i started and never finished. even opens w the last two lines of the end of actual treesekai bc thats how webcomics are—opening w the last two panels of the previous episode

Ren glances down to the fabric of his glove—still in tact—and then covers the kiss with his other hand. 

The knight may have been right. His engagement may be in danger, after all. 

—

Ren is… distracted. 

It’s not entirely his fault. A lot goes into planning a wedding, especially one on the royal scale. Of course he’d end up a little overwhelmed, a little more scattered than normal. Bdubs has no interest in helping him—Hell, Ren had hardly been able to find proof of the man’s existence since the engagement party three days ago. 

It doesn’t bother him. Really, it doesn’t. Not when he’s got more pressing matters, like the wedding. Or their dealings with their neighboring kingdoms. Or the knight. 

…Especially the knight. 

Really, Ren can’t be faulted for taking a walk to clear his head. Breaks and days of rest are healthy for the mind, too. And it looks good on the King to pay attention to the affairs of his castle. There are a lot of perfectly valid reasons for Ren to stop by the royal guard’s training grounds for a while. And honestly, it can’t hurt to step out into the yard and chat with a few of his knights—learn some names, get a better look at some faces, see if he recognizes any voices. 

After nearly two dozen awkward, stilted conversations with hesitant, unfamiliar knights, Ren leaves. 

Even though he’s aware no one realizes he was looking for someone, he’s embarrassed. He feels… stood up, almost, though he might be projecting. The wound of the engagement party is still fresh in his mind, after all—waiting for nearly an hour in the hall for his fiancé, only to find the man already inside, surrounded in happy, touchy guests. 

Ren still stings. 

Dwelling on the memory is probably why Ren isn’t looking where he’s going, which is why he walks right into someone. The man stumbles back, off balance, and Ren doesn’t think twice about grabbing his waist to catch him. 

“Uh,” the man says. He’s blond, with a black headband tied around his forehead. His hair is damp, as is the front of his shirt, and he smells like he’s been exercising. Ren doesn’t think he saw the man outside, though his features seem somehow familiar. Ren stares a moment, trying to figure out where he’s seen the man, only to watch as his face grows steadily redder and redder. 

“Your majesty?” the man almost squeaks, and Ren remembers himself. He drops the man’s waist, letting him fall entirely to the floor. 

“Sorry! I thought you’d caught yourself!” Ren says, holding his hand out to help the man to his feet. 

Only when the man’s fingers are held in Ren’s own does Ren recognize him. How could he not, after all, recognize the same hand seared so clearly into his memory?

“You’re the knight from the engagement party,” Ren gasps, and the man Ren has spent the last few nights lying awake thinking about blanches. 

“I, uh,” he fumbles, “There were a lot of knights at the engagement party.”

“But only one who spoke to me in the hall,” Ren says, pulling the man to his feet, “Only one who told me he’d give me a hand.” Ren clasps the man’s hand in both of his own, staring into his eyes, “Only one whose name I’d like to know.”

The knight stares at him, seemingly unaware of his mouth hanging open. Ren would feel guilty, but if he didn’t want to be left in shock, then maybe he shouldn’t have done it to Ren first. 

“Martyn!” calls another voice. The man’s head snaps over, and Ren knows his name—Martyn, the knight from the engagement party; Martyn, the stranger bold enough to call out the king’s foolish optimism to his face; Martyn, the only man in the world who wants Ren to be happy. 

“There you are! When you ran off like that—” another man runs through, skidding down the hall, “Your majesty?!”

This knight, Ren does know—his name is Skizzleman, though most people call him Skizz. Martyn drops Ren’s hand as Skizz stops beside them, looking anywhere but Ren’s face. 

“Hello, Sir Skizzleman,” Ren greets.

“Hello, your majesty!” Skizz bows in greeting. When Martyn doesn’t copy the motion, Skizz not-so-subtly elbows him in the side. 

“Sorry, your majesty, don’t mind him,” Skizz explains. He stands up, then smacks Martyn’s head down into a bow, “He has a head injury.”

“A head injury? How did you sustain that?” Ren asks, concerned. 

“I… don’t remember?”

“It was a very bad injury,” Skizz adds, with a sage nod. He releases Martyn, who rubs at the back of his head as he straightens up again. 

“Are you alright now?” Ren asks. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Martyn glances to Skizz, “Mostly. It’s nothing you need to worry yourself with, King Ren.”

[atimesfeeler]

Thinking about that fall/halloween fanfic I didn’t have time to write where Wade takes Logan and Laura to a fall carnival and they carve pumpkins and have a family party.

Wade drags Logan and Laura to a carnival and brings along Yukio and Ellie because Laura complained she didn’t want to be a third wheel. Logan complains about the prices and both Ellie and Logan act as guard dogs to anyone who so much as looks at Wade funny.

They get some food first because Wade is starving (he always is) and Wade makes Logan share a funnel cake with him because “that’s what couples do!” They end up fighting each other for the last piece and get powdered sugar everywhere. Wade kisses the powdered sugar on Logan’s cheek but he doesn’t help him wipe it away and doesn’t wipe his own face. He “likes the coke-look of it”. Laura gives Logan a napkin.

They try some games and they have to pick those carnival games where five people can play at once because they are all extremely competitive. Even Yukio, don’t be fooled. She’s in the lead actually. They end up breaking the water hose gun game they play and no one gets a prize. Wade plays that impossible ladder game and wins on the first try of course. The game player tries to scam Wade and say he didn’t do it right but Logan has scary dog privileges and they give Wade an overly sized bear that Wade names Logie. Logan tries to win at least one game but he sucks at it and they are all pretty much scams. He does win a prize for bobbing apples and gives it to Laura. Wade pretends to swoon while he watches Logan catch apples in a bucket of water.

“I never thought feral pig would do it for me but here we are. Hey, how do you feel about mouth gags? Specially in the bedroom? For unrelated reasons.”

Wade complains about being hungry again and wants to try the turkey legs they have at that booth with the atrociously long line. But they just ate and they want to go on some rides. Logan remembers that Wade told him his healing factor broke down food fast and has a high metabolism himself.

“I’ll get the food. You go off with the girls.”

“Really?”

“But Wade just ate a hotdog, pizza, and a funnel cake like an hour ago.”

“And the line will take forever.”

Logan shrugs. “I’m hungry. You go on the ride, and I’ll get the food. What do you want, bubba?”

And it works out bc Wade sits next to Laura on the mini roller coaster so no one is the odd one out and they both have a blast. Unlike her father, Laura likes roller coasters. She and Wade are adrenaline junkies but Logan hates them. They’re high off the ground, unstable, death machines that go around in loops? No thank you. He puts off going on a ride by bringing turkey legs and Wade inhales his food like he’s starving.

“Slow down, bub. Maybe your healing factor won’t break it down as fast if you slow down,” Logan offers.

“Oh it actually works out better if I gorge myself. If I’m stuffed it takes longer to break it down. Like thanksgiving where everyone gains several pounds after linner. That starts for lunch-dinner, by the way. Except I get to skip out on the weight gain. What the fifteen to twenty one age demographic would do to me if they found out my secret.” Wade says around a mouthful or dripping juices and meat fat. Logan cringes. He can’t believe kisses that mouth.

“You’ll throw up on the ride if stuff yourself though,” Ellie warns.

“Oh no, it will be gone by the time we get in another ride. Don’t worry! I won’t projectile vomit on anyone’s hair.”

No one responds for a moment.

“What do you mean, Wade?” Yukio asks.

“Well, usually on a roller coaster, the velocity of the wind pushes the vomit back towards the people sitting behind you-“

“No, what do you mean it will be gone by the time we get on another ride? Your healing factor works that fast?” Logan demands.

Wade quiets, like he does when he realizes he’s admitted to something that might worry his friends. Something that he forgot wasn’t normal.

“Jealous my healing factors faster than you, Wolvie?” Wade manages.

He tears the last sliver of meat from the picked clean bone of the turkey leg and his stomach grumbles.

“Did your stomach just fucking grumble?”

“Digestion?”

“Are you still hungry?”

“All the time peanut,” Wade says quietly. And then he grabs Logan’s hand. “But let’s wait in line! We just went on this ride, and I can’t wait to have to ride it with us again. You’ll hold my hand won’t you? We could get cute couple photos of us screaming!”

Logan knows when to let something go and the girls are starting to look concerned and sad for Wade. The emotionally incompetent walnut didn’t know how to handle vulnerability and getting any sympathy from the people who loved him. He would barely admit shit to Logan and still Wade sugar coated and kept who knew how many sad secrets about his life to himself.

But they go on the ride and Logan absolutely hates it, but it’s not as scary as the black bird flying over the statue of liberty so he still has his dignity mostly intact. Wade does a deep belly laugh at Logan’s yelling face on the screen that shows pictures of their ride afterward so it was worth it.

They stay on the ground, thankfully, as the sun sets and Logan stands in enough lines to last him a life time. Wade insists they don’t need to keep getting food, but Logan would periodically wander off to get something for Wade without asking. Wade held his hand alittle tighter, squeezing his hand as a silent thanks. For all the words Wade spewed, he had a hard time saying things directly like “thank you. For noticing. For caring.” So Wade squeezed his hand and smiled brightly and tried tirelessly to make Logan laugh.

Laura makes Logan go on those spinning teacup rides and Logan puts on such a brave face about it. When she’s not looking he does puke in the nearest trash can and Wade pats his back and compliments how Logan looks like a cat when he pukes.

“No, it’s a compliment! It really is! Cats can be cute doing everything, even puking up hairballs! Just like you, kitten.”

“Oh god.”

The girls go on a spinning ride that is like a rollercoaster on the ground in a single circle. It goes forwards and backwards and Laura runs up to Logan laughing deliriously with her friends because of how fun it was. Even Ellie is laughing. It’s not rare to see Laura smile or laugh but it is rare to see such raw joy and adrenaline that can only come from having fun with the people you love. So Logan blurts “yeah, I’ll go.”

“You’ll go? On that one? The doom of death ride? The loudest ride in the park because there is a constant steam of screaming adults coming from it? That ride?” Wade asks.

Logan huffs. “What, you scared?”

And Wade gets excited. He’s a complete adrenaline junkie, but he knows roller coasters and intense (or even less intense) carnival rides are not his thing. But Logan said he wanted to go! No take backsies! They sit down and the heaviest person is supposed to stay on the outside seat (surprisingly the ride holds Logan’s weight) and Wade is beaming ear to ear as the ride starts and Logan grips the single handle metal bar over his lap hard enough to dent it.

The ride starts and it’s fun. Wade giggles excitement and presses against Logan because that’s how it works when you’re seated next to someone going in a fast circle. What he is not expected is for Logan to immediately start shouting in panic. He’s yelling at Wade to scoot over and clearly convinced that he’s going to fly out of the machine and Wade knows he’s shouldn’t but he can’t stop laughing. The ride feels so much bumpier and faster than a normal roller coaster in the way that only unstable carnival rides that probably violate serval safety codes can. And he thinks his phone might have flown across the ride but he literally can’t do anything but laugh and try to fight against the gravity pushing him into Logan.

It’s a miracle Wade survived after they got off the ride. The seat they were in definitely didn’t. It’s bent like tinfoil and pretty much broken and Logan actually wasn’t lying when he said he was about to fall out. Everyone is laughing and trying to be sympathetic but even as Logan fights the nausea and the panic, he can’t help but laugh alittle with them too.

Wade makes it up to him though.

Logan drives them home and they all fall asleep from happy exhaustion, except Wade who talks through the ride with that sort of energized and happy rambling that comes from satisfying his needs for entertainment and enrichment. Wade holds Logan’s hand while he drives, playing with his fingers and claws as he talks. Logan can tell that Wade isn’t starving where his hand rests on his stomach and Logan knows he did a good job taking care of Wade.

(This turned out longer than I thought it would so I might do a Halloween part 2)

[riddlemearose]

For the wip ask game:

We've Been Trying to Reach You About Your Magic Sheikah Weapon's Extended Warranty

& You're taller, how fucking dare you? 🤭

Lmao I knew those two would interest someone. They're currently both ficlets, bc I can't seem to get them over 1k.

'you're taller how fucking dare you' started as a literal joke I sent to a friend in early December last year. The premise is that Wind was in Hyrule Warriors pre-LU (he would've been 12-ish, so between Wind Waker and Phantom Hourglass). Time - then Mask - would be like 11 and Wars would've been 16-18. Then cut to the start of Linked Universe. Can you just imagine how mad Wind must've been to see Time not only now older than him, but older than him by like 15 years? He must've been furious.

“Warriors!” A new voice calls. They both turn to see a man, older than the Captain with shiny plate armour and interesting tattoos on one side of his face that Link can't quite make out from a distance, striding towards them. “Oh boy.” The Captain – Warriors, Link guesses, though that’s a pretty shit name if it’s really what he’s going by – mumbles under his breath, then waves the man. “Over here, Time. I found him.” Time’s face brightens – who’s picking these names they’re horrible – as he smiles, stopping beside them. He looks at Link and his smile turns smug. “Tune! I told you I was going to be taller than you.” What? Link’s nose scrunches up. What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Warriors smacks a hand to his forehead with a near-silent groan, but says nothing. Link peers up at Time's face. Shit those tattoos are very vivid. And familiar. Why… does he recognise them? Wait. Wait. Link splutters and points an accusing finger at Time, furious. “Mask?! When did you get old?! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT TALL?!”

As for We've Been Trying to Reach You About Your Magic Sheikah Weapon's Extended Warranty, I recently learnt that you can rematch Maz Koshia in BOTW! So naturally all I could think about is how much Four would absolutely hate the One-Hit Obliterator with his entire body and soul.

The whole thing is silly and I think I started writing it at like midnight or something bc I cannot for the life of me remember how I wanted it to end. This is literally all I've written for it lmao.

Things had been looking bad right up until Wild, who looks as though he’s on the literal brink of death, bursts into the room and smacks the monster with a strange, glowing pronged weapon. It crumples under the hit and explodes into purple smoke. “What.” Wind says flatly. Wild wobbles violently to one side but manages to catch himself against a wall, breathing heavily. Twilight squints at him through the bars of his cell, then squints harder – this time at the weapon. “Wait, is that—” “Yep!” Wild answers with entirely too much cheer for someone who looks inches away from dropping dead. He pushes himself upright and staggers towards them, pulling a ring of keys from the Sheikah Slate. “How the fuck did you convince him to give you that?!” The emotion in Twilight’s voice might be described as ‘awed’, if awed could be served alongside a liberal dose of bone-deep exasperation. “Turns out Maz Koshia’s still around, for some Hylia-damned reason.” Wild explains brightly. He fumbles with the lock three times before Four snatches the keys from his hands. “Thanks, I cannot see straight right now, like at all.” He seems oddly baffled by the round of concerned noises that echo across the dungeon, but shrugs it all off and continues describing his latest bad decision without any remorse. “Anyway, yeah, he’s still around and apparently ‘an evil being resurrecting and strengthening monsters beyond what is normal’ is a decent reason to loan it out to kill said evil being. Conditionally, of course.” Time, heaving a sigh, looks reluctant to ask yet can’t stop himself from doing so. “Conditions such as?” “I don’t die, naturally, and also beat him in another fight later.” Wild nearly pitches face-first into the ground, utterly undermining his triumphant tone, but instead collapses onto Sky, who looks world-weary in a way he rarely is. He slings one of Wild’s arms around his shoulders, practically holding the Champion upright. Four, hucking the keys to Warriors, almost vibrates as he eyes up the weird mutant trident-looking weapon Wild’s still holding onto. It glows faintly and thrums loudly with energy. “What is that?!” “This,” Wild flips the weapon with a grin – and really, given how horrible he looks, Four is actually mad at how easily he pulls that action off – “is the One-Hit Obliterator. No, I have no idea why the Sheikah monks made it, don’t ask. But! This thing is stupidly powerful, hence why I had to make a deal to use it.” “One-Hit Obliterator?” Four stares at it and mentally screams.

[dballzposting]

need to settle a discussion.. me and my friends were arguing about whether or not vegeta and bulma would get together at like any other point in time apart from when they first met (say, if they met wayyyyy earlier) if bulma hadn't dated anyone...

I said they wouldn't because they (but mostly bulma) would be fundamentally different people bc her tastes and values would be so different from her regular self because she has led a different life with different experiences and they disagreed because ???? ok honestly i dont think i explained my argument very well LOL.. they'll probably know it's me if they see this 🤭 but my point is, teen bulma would've shrieked and ran away at the sight of him

I was really blown away by how aptly you understood these characters - both vegeta and bulma - in that yamgeta essay I reread of yours recently and I was curious if you, i dunno, had an opinion on such a scenario. have a good night 🌷

COOOL . I dont know why your friends are disagreeing with you .

Teen Bulma in the original Dragon Ball loved cute boys and she would fangirl out. And in DBZ on Namek, was pretty similiar to that person she always had been. She had matured somewhat throughout the story but Bulma on Namek was very much Still Like That. She was scared of things and she thought that Zarbon was hawt. She was somewhat comic relief.

There was a marked Change In Her Chatacter after they returned to Earth, and by her own admission: I dont remember her exact words, but when her hair was Big and they were awaiting Freeza's second arrival with King Cold, she said something about how she wasnt afraid anymore. She insisted that Yamucha bring her to the scene of the drama, and she held her ground proudly.

You guys remember that scene right. She was epic

That Bulma had the Strength and Confidence of a Survivor. And she STAYED that way forevermore. She became an iron woman.

Whereas before that, she had always been aggressive, but she was still scared of reasonable things. And that version of Bulma would dislike the Rude and Violent Vegeta.

She told him he was cute after Namek but it was only after she had been through so much.

If Vegeta fell into their lives earlier and didnt immediately kill them all, Bulma would dislike him because hes not the image of the perfect boyfriend that she still has her heart out for..... If he had to live with her then I think that she would hate that, she wouldn't want him around. This is HER life. When shes young she doesnt see much past her own nose.

If she found beef with YAMUCHA then she would certaintly find things to dislike about Vegeta!

Hes rude and ugly and mean and unpredictable. She would stop being scared of him eventually but she would still dislike him for a long time, while shes still burning through her romance options!

Because the thing is about Bulma is that she is not THAT secure at the beginning. There are so many times in the story where she is essentially hunted for her body. I think she is very particular about opening a relationship with a man because of that.

And since Vegeta isnt charming and cute, I think that she would shut down against him.

She does eventually go for him canonically but it's AFTER she is imbued with the Survivor's Confidence. And even then it takes time, becasue he is so difficult.

So I think that in this version they could still hook up in the end. But timeline wise, it would be as if he had entered later like he does canonically.

Bulma needs time to kick around a bit first. Fuck around and find out.

VEGETA HOWEVER. He could crush on her sooner. He would deny it all the same. But he likes herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr Lol

Thanks for askinggg ✌✌ Having The Real Questions

[kiwiaok]

aftg is eating up my brain so badly, I have a constant stream of ideas and I’m shit at actually writing them but I need to get them out of my system bc it’s suffocating, so:

• an au where king and sir turn out to be shapeshifters so andreil magically acquire two spoiled kids

• andreil saying to each other ‘IU’ instead of ‘I hate you’ or ‘I love you’ or anything else. they use it in every kind of situation bc it’s the testament of how much they feel about each other and that’s more important to them than anything else. they’re fighting? IU (I hate you, I’m scared for you, I’m scared of how much power you have over me, I still want you to stay) they’re having sex? IU (I trust you, I love you, I’m going to take care of you, I’ll make you feel good) they’re breaking down? IU (I’ve got you, I’m here, I’m going to stay, I’m going to help best I can)

• a fic where neil dies in baltimore and we see the aftermath told from his perspective as a ghost: introspection, character study, cannibalism, polaroids, inspired by strangers by ethel cain:

• neil taking great pleasure in buying andrew expensive things and seeing him use them, not out of possessiveness but bc he truly just wants andrew to be happy and taken care of. and andrew learning to accept those gifts bc neil never wants anything in return, not even gratitude

• neil getting drugged at eden’s by some stranger and proceeding to glue himself to andrew’s side. the next day andrew is frustrated by that show of trust and he asks how neil could know that it wasn’t him doing the drugging. to which neil replies that he didn’t know that, but he knew that andrew wouldn’t drug him or let anyone touch him without a good reason. so it was okay, he just needed to trust andrew’s judgement and stick by him. and then andrew realising just how much faith neil has in him and having a breakdown about it

• after neil’s bad days, andrew spoons neil and keeps his hand wrapped around neil’s throat while they’re sleeping. it makes neil feel safe and grounded and makes andrew drunk on trust and control (bonus scene: foxes witnessing this one day and completely failing at understanding their dynamic)

• neil getting into a habit of spitting after his time at the nest bc riko used to spit into his mouth and make him swallow it as a power play. whenever neil remembers it the thought of any spit in his mouth, even his own, makes him sick. so he spits

• whenever aaron is on the edge of relapsing instead of telling anyone he just trails after andrew 24/7 bc he knows his brother won’t let him destroy his life

• tlou au where andrew is traveling the world in search of his twin brother and he’s hired to transport neil somewhere. meanwhile, they fall in love with each other and they find out andrew was supposed to deliver neil into his father’s hands (andrew promised neil safety and he refuses to break his promise so this becomes the first job andrew ever failed)

• andreil breaking up and neil desperately trying to prove to himself that he can move on so he takes the page from andrew’s books and starts sleeping around, but he only succeeds in hurting himself and feeling miserable (they get back in the end bc I need them to be happy)

• OH MY GOD HORNY KANDREIL CLASSICAL MUSIC AU!! kevin (and neil?) playing violin and drew being freakishly good at playing every instrument he ever touches but especially the piano. kev giving a performance and andreil sitting in the first row, neil getting a hard on bc kevin looks so good in his suit, with slightly greying hair combed back and passion burning in his eyes. andrew discretely edging him on, palming neil’s dick through the fancy suit’s material and keeping eye contact with kevin the whole time

AND SO MUCH MORE AAAAAA. this is insufferable, I’m writing fics in my head to fall asleep and then I’m waking up literally quoting aftg (genuinely happened last week, I felt like a lunatic) and then I’m going to uni and I spend every lecture thinking about how I can use my degree to better write about those stupid murderous college athletes. what kind of crack did you put in this series, nora?????

[indi-k]

Tyler is a HUGE RED FLAG

(i already posted this in the wenclair community but im posting this on my main blog too bc i wanna see it there aswell and I DO NOT KNOW HOW TUMBLR WORKS)

Ok, so I don't find ENOUGH ppl talking about how INCREDIBLY CREEPY Tyler is to Wednesday in Ep 7 and I've already ranted like a madman to ANYONE who has come within five feet about this in the past few months.

Needless to say i have a LOT of thoughts.

First off, When Tyler brigs up the topic of rescheduling their date, Wednesday is caught off guard, like VISIBLY off guard. She then brings up two VERY VALID POINTS as to why she can't go or hasn't talked with tyler about it.

Tyler then CUTS HER OFF saying AND I QUOTE "Hey, no excuses, Figure after what happened after last time, you owe me." so not only did this man just call Wednesday's reasons for not being able to go, (a HOMOCIDAL MONSTER and her FELON UNCLE) "excuses" he also believes that Wednesday OWES HIM a DATE.

if it isn't obvious (at least not to tyler) YOU DO NOT OWE ANYONE ANYTHING!!! Regardless of romantic interest or guilt or WHATEVER. people in relationships don't OWE each other their time.

Dating someone shouldn't be out of obligation, it should be done out of mutual interest and willingness to spend time together.

Basically if someone you're interested in says they cant make it to a date you don't say they OWE YOU. LOOKIN AT YOU TYLER GALPIN!

Anyway, Wednesday then tells Tyler "I cant sneak off of campus, all eyes are on me." Its important to remember that if she's caught out, she could be EXPELLED but also, when has Wednesday Addams EVER been afraid of RULE BREAKING or getting CAUGHT, she is literally harboring a FUGITIVE on school grounds currently. All I'm sayin is if she REALLY wanted to go, she would.

SOMEHOW Tyler doesn't pickup on these very OBVIOUS HINTS and presses on, telling Wednesday that he'll come to her. Again, pretty creepy because Wednesday has done everything except explicitly saying 'No" and he is STILL pushing for her to go with him.

So why didn't she just shut down tyler? Wednesday has no real trouble voicing her thoughts with little care as to what others think, so why didn't she just say no?

this could be overthinking BUT everyone has their limit, even Wednesday. Her best friend just left her after a huge fight, her only other friend has been hospitalized for reasons that Wednesday blames herself for, and Xavier just told her that there's nothing to like about her. She probably feels isolated and unwanted, Addams or not everyone needs a friend.

TLDR: Tyler sucks and Fester should have put him in the Romanian sleeper hold. also ENID SINCLAIR WOULD NEVERRRR

[bestworstcase]

To add to the conversation about the themes of Maidens and Ozpin controlling them being not a good thing, it was only the third Maiden power did we get someone willing to work with the team. Both Raven and her predecessor said no to working with Ozpin. (It's not exactly subtle that Qrow does end up speaking with the not yet known to him or the audience Spring Maiden in Volume 4 and being told no. And at no point does Oz or him talk about convincing someone that doesn't want to work with them.)

hardly a novel thing to point out but it’s so very telling that the conversation surrounding the spring maiden in v4-5 is entirely framed in terms of "raven has spring" and "mounting a retrieval force" because, as qrow puts it, "raven won’t give up her most prized possession without a fight."

the maidens literally just. aren’t people, in the inner circle’s eyes. they’re objects. tools. weapons. something you can possess. it’s not even that the inner circle doesn’t care whether the maidens agree or not; they’re dehumanized to such an extreme degree that the idea of a maiden having the capacity to make choices isn’t recognized at all.

which rwby starts to unpack in atlas. fria is an elderly woman with dementia who isn’t allowed to see anyone but the designated heir—she is being actively medically abused for the sake of destroying her capacity to Remember anyone else but winter. penny, ironwood says, is under his complete control. and then it is her act of disregarding ironwood’s wishes to accept the winter maiden herself (to protect winter! to ensure winter’s safety! this is not only what penny wants but also what she was ordered to do) which leads him to the realization that he was incorrect—that penny is not an object—with the result that nearly every choice ironwood makes in v8 is motivated by his fixation on getting penny back under control. similarly he believes he has winter so well-trained that she isn’t Capable of betraying him, and when she proves him wrong he tries to kill her, and it’s the winter maiden, given to her by penny as a gift, that protects her / allows her to free herself from him.

which is to say, the maidens who choose to help teams rwby & jnpr can do so only after Liberating themselves from the systematic dehumanization and control of the inner circle—consent becomes possible only after the maiden breaks free of her cage.

this is also one of the reasons i think gil is the summer maiden. bc there’s this pattern. the vaults are shackles for every maiden except cinder (who becomes a maiden in defiance of the man who Set Up this system and then immediately kills him). in raven and in penny + winter we’ve had explorations of what this looks like in relation to characters who are notionally on the same side as the vault-keepers (none of them want salem getting her hands on their relic), with the atlas arc forcing the kids into open conflict with ironwood Because they see penny/the maiden as a person who can make choices.

a situation where the summer maiden is involved in the inner circle or even just neutral risk retreading the same ground. whereas. a maiden who is an adversary who (like salem albeit for different reasons) Cannot Be Beaten (because she represents half of vacuo and killing her will make her a martyr, ripping the kingdom apart) feels like the natural place for this narrative to go next. what happens if the maiden says no? for real this time. how do you persuade her, compromise with her, what reason do you give her to work with you?

(<- potential here for a reprise and inversion of ozpin’s advice to ruby in v1: if you’re not always performing at your absolute best, what reason do you give others to follow you? well, if you’re not treating others like human beings whose choices and freedom matter, what reason do you give them to stand with you? as always the curative for the poison of guardians and martyrs is coalition, which is harder in many ways but also healing.)

[anhed-nia]

BLOGTOBER 10/21/2024: BURIAL GROUND

You wouldn't know it from my pathologically compulsive habits, but I am sometimes conflicted about the whole horror studies situation. I mean I'm glad more and more people are enjoying horror and I wouldn't want to tell anyone what to do, but sometimes I judge people who I perceive as trying too hard to be too serious about something that doesn't necessarily ask for it. Probably I'm often reacting (unfairly) to younger people who are just now imprinting on academia, and they are picking up certain thought patterns and rhetorical patterns and just...like...patterns, that they enjoy repeating. I'll hear somebody proudly announcing their 101-level application of feminism or psychoanalysis or social history to (...whatever, SCREAM sequels come to mind, but it could be anything reasonably accessible), and I have this internal reaction like, "Do you really think that? Or did you hear someone else say something like that, and you liked it so much that you want to say it too?" I'm remembering a conversation I had with a friend who had been to see HAIL CAESAR!; I said, "Is it good?" and she said, "It's a love letter to the golden age of Hollywood," and I said, "....is it good?" I just knew she had heard that phrase somewhere, and it felt smart to say it, and her desire to repeat a piece of analysis that she liked had overridden her ability to just answer my question.

...And again, like, this isn't a crime, and everybody has to start somewhere, and you don't need to be a genius to have permission to do something that is fun for you. But it does make me check my own responses to things. I've certainly been accused of pretentiousness by people who object to any kind of intellectualization at all of certain topics, but at this point I like to think that my writing is fairly considered. And I try to be conscious of when something really deserves consideration, and when it is more appropriate to just do blogger shit if I feel like it. But like, here's some of the kind of thing that makes me nervous:

I mean...I agree with SOME OF this. But some of it I find very alarming. BURIAL GROUND is a fucking mess! It's the kind of mess you have to see to believe. I remember when I was getting into horror in a serious way in 10,000 BC, this was one of the movies that people told each other they must see--largely because of the casting of an adult little person as the small child of a woman whose titty he bites off. That's the big scene. I forgot that it's kind of the ONLY scene! In film criticism, there are certain words that get tossed around like "incoherent" and "plotless", usually used by people who aren't used to deliberately dreamy or unstructured movies, or who can't get past the amateurishness of something to see if it has more unusual pleasures to offer...and then once in a great while you see something that is really genuinely plotless, like BURIAL GROUND, and you're like HOLY SHIT it's true, you can actually fully make a movie with almost no plot whatsoever! It barely even has EVENTS!

I don't really know how to describe what happens in this movie. At the beginning you're introduced to a scholarly guy who accidentally activates a curse or whatever, but if you think that you're going to find out more about him or how the curse works or what the point of it is or anything, you're dead wrong. Soon a bunch of people turn up at a mansion, and then a bunch of zombies come out of the ground, and they besiege the mansion so slowly that it's like nothing you've ever seen in your life. The actors are obliged to stand very close to windows and doors and wait politely for a long time the zombies to get close enough to threaten them. There's a particular moment where a guy is grappling with a zombie and it's supposed to be exciting and suspenseful, like the zombie is about to get him, but the zombie isn't far enough away so he just swirls his hands around the victim's face in kind of an "I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU, I'M NOT TOUCHING YOU" way and you just have to play along that the zombie almost has him, but not quite! Other than the thing I already said about the "child", there's really not a lot more I can do with this.

Actually I have to admit that I do kind of enjoy the zombie heads. I mean the movie is extraordinarily cheap, all the zombies have like smocks or nightgowns or something on so they don't have to have real costumes, they're like depressingly cheap dolls. But they have these heads that are sort of expressionistic, they sometimes look like the slightly-abstract, spooky watercolor covers of pulp novels if you know what I mean; they look like they might be fun to draw or paint. I *think* the person I want to credit for these is Rosario Prestopino, although Gino di Rossi also has a makeup credit. This movie has some credits I've never seen before though, at some point they're literally like "Curtains by," "Furniture by," and I thought huh I didn't know you had to do that!

Anyway, I just have to think that people are either being sarcastic or kidding themselves when they are painfully verbose and elaborate about e.g. BURIAL GROUND. The first guy from my Wikipedia screenshot turns out to be a professor of folklore, and I will say that sometimes I encounter niche specialists who draw on movies for some of their material, and because they're not native movie people, they have astoundingly bad taste. You just want to tell them "Dude, [movie X, I have examples but don't wanna accuse real people] is actually not a good movie, I know it's like the first movie you saw that aligns with your main interests, but there's lots of other movies that could be relevant to you if you want...oh never mind." Sometimes it's a matter of the movie saying something they want to hear, something they already think is true and expect to see, and then they just don't feel like looking for another movie that might be more provocative or experimental on the same topic. I mean, I'm just spitballing here, I can't imagine what a folklorist would see in BURIAL GROUND since it doesn't explain itself at all or add much to the zombie conversation; I don't know what the fuck I would do if one of my college professors told me I had to see BURIAL GROUND because it was amazing. I would be so shocked when I saw it. But I guess the only thing that's really important is, that guy is having fun.

The last thing I have to say about this is, as per the little person/child bit, director Andrea Bianchi seems to be a pretty fucked up individual. He's probably best known, if not for BURIAL GROUND, than for the notoriously depraved STRIP NUDE FOR YOUR KILLER, and then he also made a movie called MALABIMBA - THE MALICIOUS WHORE, and you can imagine what that's probably like. Then he made this movie I was previously curious about, CRY OF A PROSTITUTE; Henry Silva is interviewed about it in that EUROCRIME! documentary, and he sounded completely traumatized about what he had to do to Barbara Bouchet in it. Creepy. Anyway, Andrea Bianchi also made THREE NINJAS: KNUCKLE UP, and I guess that's the last comment I'll make on the matter.

[fish-pochette]

Also was again struck by how sad part 5 is and how death is such a huge theme throughout this part, more so than others. The threats feel more grounded here than they do in p3 and p6 I guess because the enemy is less an idea of something and more concrete? Like DIO being a vampire/almost a mythological being and no one really knowing Who the villain is in p6 for instance. Diavolo is just A Guy Compared to DIO and Pucci, plus they already know that the hitman team and the boss’s guards are coming after them.

I haven’t consumed the canon material in YEARS but I have been reading fic in the years since and I’m kind of like ok yeah this is where all the fanon characterizations come from. It makes sense even if they are overplayed. Giorno is more expressive than I remember and I was really struck by Narancia’s death scene again…even though Narancia is older than him Giorno still looks out for him/kind of sees him as innocent and is protective over him in a way, like you would a younger sibling. “No one can hurt you anymore, I’m gonna bring you home” ouch I felt nothing but pain. Also interesting that he says I and not We here…he feels a lot of responsibility for the team like a leader would. Likely bc only he and Bucciarati know of their true goal + only Giorno knows Bucciarati is already dead after Venice.

Bucciarati’s strong sense of duty and how it all stems from him deciding to stay with his father after his parents split and then going on to be well respected in his territory / doing what he’s told, telling the others they have to stay in line (like when he tells Narancia to shove it when he complains about Luca), and then him telling Giorno he set him free from all of that…😢😢😢😢top ten saddest anime deaths

Upon watching again Mista is really interesting because he’s not necessarily morally upstanding / doesn’t have such strong moral conviction the way Abbacchio, Narancia, and Bucciarati do (see: Mista's reasoning for getting on the boat and betraying the boss). He is supposed to be the most typical gangster of the group so it makes sense his character doesn’t hinge on ideals, and he feels more grounded bc of that. plus he even mentions he'd be next in line for capo which implies he's very effective at his job/ambitious in that way, as opposed to Abbacchio and Narancia who don't seem all that concerned about promotion (before or after the betrayal) and instead are going along w Bucciarati for personal reasons (also—the gang being all they have. they were both inspired by Bucciarati when he recruits them while Mista doesn't really make that sentiment, which speaks to his ambitious and optimistic/ opportunistic outlook). Emphsazied by Bucciarati assigning Mista to the florist's case in sleeping slaves arc as well. Mista's not someone who thinks of things in terms of the greater good, but rather acts based on what’s in front of him (e.g. the job he’s on, or like in his backstory) and the people he cares about (sleeping slaves arc).

[may-bee-its-just-me]

I love my bf <3

i was thinking about starting a series of taking things my bf says out of context but while looking for sus phrases to take out of context i was scrolling thru our texts and he's so damn sweet??

most of the jokes and out of pocketness happens irl, and upon second thought - Even though context would have been provided at the end, I'd much rather openly admire my doofball.

Like how he brings veggies to munch on with his crew meal at work, and he usually has offered me a few pieces of veggies - Recently I've started actually accepting the offer more consistently and I low-key noticed him bringing more with him, and then he would leave whatever he didn't eat with my stuff. He even offered one morning to bring me my own bag of veggies. Not only that, but while he loves to eat the leafy part of celery, he remembered that when I tried it I didn't like it, and purposefully left those parts out of my bag. ^^

He frequently gives me lil massages on the neck/shoulders when we're hanging out, or as a grounding/comfort method at work when my issues are flaring up. Its a major way he shows affection, and he knows that my shoulders/neck in particular need some help relaxing. Speaking of my issues, despite dealing with his own pains and physical limitations; He always keeps an eye out for mine and tries to help me through it when he can, and comfort me when he can't.

He's very mindful of even my smaller triggers, and makes a point to reassure me even when i might not really need it. Example; He doesnt reply to a text for a little bit, for whatever reason, and he'll reply apologizing and explaining why it took so long. (I have told him that he doesnt need to worry about it, but he still provides that reassurance anyway ^^) Another example; We're working in kitchen, chatting it up with some other coworkers when one makes a teasing joke to me and, feeling mildly triggered, I go quiet (both to not respond overly defensive/emotionally, and out of now feeling othered from the group because the joke didn't immediately register as a joke). It doesnt take long before he gives me concerned looks, and then at the soonest opportunity, he'll come over and check on me quietly. 😩makes me mElt

He's recently asked me to log my food cravings and/or what I eat through the month, specifically so that he can better figure out food date stuff and how that may or may not correlate with my cycle. I have a hard time remembering these kinds of details, and if the log is detailed enough, not only will it help him help his indecisive gf - But it may actually help me better track my PMS and have common cravings ready. Either that or it will just show how horribly I can hyperfixate on foods lol He also just generally likes the idea of logging my mood and symptoms through the month for similar "i want to know how your support needs from me might change depending on your hormones" reasons. (nerd <3)

He bought me chapstick a few days after I had offhandedly told him i lost mine, and also that I liked the one he uses after needing to borrow it. Bro was paying attention :'}

Also, last thing bc this is getting long: Every night, he reminds me not to go to bed horribly late. Does this always help? No (its 12:20am at time of posting oops), but it does help sometimes and there's a noticeable difference in me remembering not to stay up till 3am when he does not remind me... There have also been nights where he stayed up to make sure I actually stopped doomscrolling on Insta before he went to bed himself... Instagram keeps ratting me/us out with the little green circle status. He will also guilt trip me (/j) when Instagram says I was online insanely late, tho sometimes it isnt 100% accurate (like...he wakes up at 7-8AM and it tells him "last online 4 hrs ago" but i could have sworn I didnt pick instagram up past 12am)

I love him so much and he takes care of me and makes me feel very mushy on the inside. The end, thanks for coming to my TedTalk.

[slurinq]

I really like how sakura tries to help hinata get together with naruto and be really supportive. Sakura knew hinata feelings way before the pain arc but of course during the pain/ war arc it would’ve been not the right time to develop romance to where as The Last movie was wayyy after those arcs so developing romance after everything was resolved and calmed down was perfect.

See how she’s being supportive. LOVE IT!

Now like I said sakura does try to help but Naruto was so dense and was so fixated on sakura and sakura was angry at Naruto for not knowing the difference between loving food and romantic love & being oblivious , which I didn’t like bc if he had a crush on sakura then he should know what romantic love is or even sakura crush on sasuke but it’s just a crush and yk he never really grew up around that many women to tell him what it was, if his mother was alive most likely she would’ve told him the difference and even his father.

Now this would’ve made sense if they do it for sarada and sumire(tbv) if they were to have a conversation and since ch.16 sumire was right and people say she was wrong but if she was then they wouldn’t have made Sarada remember sumire words for a reason, what sumire said could’ve been a potential development for sarada and maybe sumire herself? When Eida and shikamaru had a conversation and the way that shikamaru was told to follow his heart must’ve been tied to sumire! I do like sumire and sarada friendship in the anime and in the manga I don’t like how their friendship is being written in the manga rn so that’s why I think the whole love triangle is being used as drama bait but their whole tension could lead to development for both characters.

Sarada doesn’t like Boruto back then and with the recent ch.21 tbv we don’t know what the writers are trying to tell us but anyways sumire asked sarada if boruto was popular with the girls and if she likes him yet sarada says “no” and with sumire standing her ground saying she likes boruto it surprises sarada and even the datebook says it surprised her bc sarada wasn’t expecting that to come out from someone like sumire back then!

This is the 3rd time sumrie feelings for boruto is confirmed which has been strong and very genuine for the past 3 years and it goes to the reference of what sakura says in The Last

So with what sarada says hopefully she will finally start to acknowledge Sumire’s feelings for boruto and be like sakura the way she was supportive to hinata feelings about Naruto. It’s now clear that romance/love was a topic she rejected, she thought it was ridiculous and even the talk with Eida about it, she thought it was stupid, she thought of it all as a weakness and now is starting to accept it bc it was holding her power back inside her. Sometimes connections/romance and career probably don’t mix well a lot so she probably chose to put career over the connections she had with others until now she started to accept those connections and deep emotional bonds she has with others like sumire and boruto.