#the reading comprehension part of the ACT always had interesting stories

[fishgirl514]

someone mentions red delicious apples so i get to tell them the story i learned from taking the ACT about how mass production and greed ruined them

[flimflamfandom]

Flimflamuniverse Character Breakdown!

Have you ever been reading one of my fics and asked something like-

"Whaddya MEAN Freckle has an accent?"

"Why do they end up in Hollywood?"

"Who's Rocky dating, anyway!?"

Well WONDER NO MORE! This post is the comprehensive list for all yer Flimflamfandom character quirk questions!

Essentially all of the changes are character based, but we will be talking about slight setting differences as well.

Let's dive in!

THE SETTING:

Most of the setting is exactly the same - late 20s St. Louis!

HOWEVER -

During later period stuff (anything from 1929 onward) several of the characters have taken up roots and gone to Hollywood! This has to do with various career moves that take place over the duration of the AU

Significant parts of Calvin's story now take place in Cork, Ireland - this will be explained more in depth later.

IT SHOULD BE NOTED that by the time my AU takes place, the Daisy has picked up significantly in business.

THE CHARACTERS:

It's important to note that NONE OF THE CHARACTERS' CRIMINAL ATTRIBUTES WERE REVEALED UNTIL AROUND THE MID 70S, and by then, the shock and horror of this sort of thing were replaced with fascination.

CALVIN MCMURRAY:

1909-1939

Calvin's childhood is the same, up until the nebulous "incident" that gets Rocky kicked out of home. Because of this, Nina gets a bit spooked, and sends Calvin to finish his basic schooling in County Cork, Ireland. He completes his schooling, and comes back home just in time for the "event" at the police academy.

During his time at the Daisy, Calvin becomes very interested in writing, and begins writing for the Times Dispatch about baseball games. He eventually begins writing screenplays when he moves with Ivy to California. He writes 3 novels, 2 short story collections, and 3 books of poems, on top of 4 screenplays. He's a busy guy!

Unfortunately, sometime around 1936, he develops a form of tail cancer. He dies in 1939, just 10 days shy of his 30th birthday.

QUIRKS: -Calvin has an accent! He's a cork boy. He sounds like a Cork boy. -By the time of his death, Calvin has a son, named Finn.

IVY PEPPER:

1909-1999

Ivy's childhood and such don't change much at all. 'Cept a secret that has to do with Mitzi, but shh! It's a secret!

Ivy is majoring in mathematics at college, and she's MAJORING majoring in it. her specialty seems to be advanced algebra - ring theory, nonlinear algebra, stuff like that. She slowly starts to see herself doing less and less in the field, but she always keeps an interest in it, attends conferences, etc.

The thing that REALLY interests Ivy, though, is her theater course. She takes one as an arts credit and LOVES it! She turns out to be kind of a prodigy on stage! She does some more acting here and there, and happens to meet a producer of films in 1929, after she's changed names to Ivy McMurray. She drags Calvin out to Hollywood with her, and stars in at least a dozen films, winning awards for quite a few of them!

By her retirement from acting in the 1960s, (her last picture netted her an award, by the way) she began to help get all of her old things from the Daisy together, and turn them into a museum, called the Daisy Club Museum. She helped run and fund the museum until her death in 1999, just 2 weeks into the age of 90.

QUIRKS: -Won 5 Oscars - 3 best supporting, 2 best actress. -Contributed her skills and research to at least 3 Algebra textbooks, -Never remarried after Calvin - she was quoted as saying "He'll love me when I get where he is, too."

ROCKY RICKABY:

1904-1989

Rocky's time at the Daisy is marred by his failed romances. He swears he must be the most unlovable person on earth! In the AU, I used to have an OC set aside for him, but nowadays I keep it vague and just say he has a wife and kids. ANYHOW, after the Daisy, Rocky manages to recover a tad from his head wound, and, get this - became a comedian. He even had a circuit of all the speakeasies.

Rocky did need a job after all of that though, and ended up, eventually, in broadcasting, which turned into being a comedian, which turned into his own radio show, which turned into a television show in the early days of TV. Rocky moved out to Hollywood and accidentally bought the house right next to Ivy and Calvin's.

A man with a good reputation, even AFTER it came out that he was a serious gangster, Rickaby died peacefully in 1989, at the age of 85.

QUIRKS: -Rocky was a staunch civil rights, woman's rights, and gay rights activist up until the very end. This would often get him in trouble with networks and producers. -Really liked the Beatles when they crossed over to the US -There is a very persistent rumor that he was in the OSS during World War 2 - in fact, he was not, but he did do work for the Signal Corps making mildly funny training films.

MITZI MAY:

?-1980

Little is known of her childhood, or her adolescence before the Daisy.

Plenty is known AFTER it though!

Mitzi, unlike the others, was not headed for entertainment afterwards. She, instead, lived with Sedgewick Sable, and indeed remarried, but never took his last name. As the pressure from the depression started to ease, she managed to turn all that Daisy property (and all of the hidden away stash money) into a hotel! Mitzi became an incredibly successful hotelier, owning and helping to operate no less than 5 luxury hotels by 1956.

By 1970, she had gotten in touch with Ivy Pepper again, and asked about the Daisy Club Museum - she was instrumental in getting it started, as she still sorta owned the caves down there. She had the diea of making it a living history museum, and she also had the idea of making it like a sort of themed resort.

She died in her sleep in 1980. No one was precisely sure of her age.

QUIRKS: -No one really knows her age -She has a secret about Ivy that she's never told a soul, and it went with her to her grave -Mitzi had one known child by Sedgewick Sable - Minerva, born in 1934. Minerva became a costumer.

SEDGEWICK SABLE:

1895-1985

After the depression hit, Sable was distraught and destitu-JUST KIDDING, that paranoid buffoon hid cash in the walls. The WALLS, I tell you! It wasn't a ton, though, and they coasted by until the New Deal came around.

Work projects need work materials, and Wick was able to help provide them. With a new purpose, new drive, and tons of resources, Wick managed to get the company going again, renaming it to Sable Construction Materials, later just SCM. He even had to buy 3 Lake Freighters - the company still operates lake freighters today!

At the age of 90, Wick passed away in his sleep.

QUIRKS: -While Wick and Calvin were never close, both were HUGE baseball fans - Wick was obsessed with the Red Sox. -Wick was a surprisingly involved boss - most employees knew him personally.

MORDECAI HELLER:

1899-1983

At some point, Mordecai returned to the Daisy, to work with Calvin McMurray as a 'fix it' man. Mordecai admired the work, and stayed put until the place stopped being illegal.

After bouncing from job to job, thinking he would end up back in organized crime, Mordecai settled down in New York after finding out the man who wanted him dead had been killed in a car accident. Mordecai became an accountant and theater manager on Broadway - not a STAGE manager, mind you, just the guy who runs the theater. He really quite liked the work!

Mordecai Heller died in 1983 at the age of 84, of lung cancer.

QUIRKS: -Mordecai was a homosexual, and was well known as such. -Mordecai, a seemingly ice hearted man, actually kinda liked musicals...well. Good ones, anyway. -His least favorite show up there was Seesaw. His favorite was Pacific Overtures

VIKTOR VASKO:

1886-1978

After the Daisy became a legal operation, Viktor just...kept working there. You still need someone to lift boxes and tend a bar when it's legal, too! Viktor was actually a loyal employee of Mitzi until 1943, when he left to run a construction firm in St. Louis. He did that, and had a fairly uneventful life, dying in 1978 at the age of 92.

QUIRKS: -Viktor never remarried - but he did reconnect with his wife and daughter sometime in 1935. -Viktor's daughter went on to become a famous operatic soprano, and even served at the Met for a time. -Viktor never outed any of his former associates, even when talks of the Daisy Museum were beginning. He refused, worrying that he'd sully people's reputations.

DORIAN ZIBOWSKI:

?-1954

After the depression, it became harder for clubs to keep full time musicians. Zib was still at the Daisy until about 1932. Fortunately for him, in 1933, his old...work acquaintance? Rocky was running a radio show out of Los Angeles and was asked to help find a band leader.

After a brief stint on this show, Zib began to lead bands at the cutting edge of Jazz music - he considered becomeing an academic, but he never found the time to think too hard about the option.

A lifetime of smoking and drinking caught up to him fiercely, and he died of Lung Cancer in 1954.

QUIRKS: -He's still made outta triangles! -Zib learned to play every saxophone, and every reed instrument he could get his hands on. -Zib's final record was a live recording at the Pershing Lounge in Chicago, Illinois, 4 years before Ahmad Jamal made it famous.

THE SAVOYS:

Nico: 1900-1978 Serafine: 1902-1983

Little is known of the Savoys after their return to Louisiana in 1931. Some say Nico got back into boxing, or that Serafine was responsible for a rash of killings.

The two died peacefully in their homes, and lived to perfectly normal old ages...and yet, it seemed so suspicious when Nico died. He was just...on his back porch. With a note that was written in code...

QUIRKS: -Nico did, in fact, go back into boxing, but left for professional wrestling - the fictional kind. Serafine was, for a time, a voodoo practitioner for hire, who was well regarded in her community -Neither married, but both had several relationships

THE ARBOGASTS:

Abelard: 1886-1987 Bobby: 1898-1975 Elsa: 1900-1975

The Arbogasts lead a quiet, mostly obscure life, save for Abelard, who becomes quite the lit up theologian. He starts a cult in the woods of Missouri, and is found dead after his 101st birthday. The cult, as many do after a leader dies, fell into disarray and eventually splintered.

Bobby and Elsa dropped the funeral routine and moved closer to the city - Bobby became a school teacher and Elsa became a nurse. The two died months apart in 1975.

QUIRKS: -Elsa and Bobby were just about as in love with each other as Calvin and Ivy. -Bobby had severe PTSD from the war, and would often have episodes. Elsa hated seeing him that way, but helped him. -Abelard's Cult, "the new Thinkers", was bizarrely peaceful as cults are concerned. They never ate Fish, though...

LACY HARDT:

1904-1994

Lacy was a loyal employee of Sedgewick Sable for the first year after the depression. Eventually, though, she married Arthur Keane (an OC you can read about here), a guitarist, and moved with him to his hometown of Virginia Beach. There, she lived with him as an assistant to many prominent locals.

Eventually, the two moved again, back to Peoria, to take care of Lacy's ailing mother. This was around 1934. After Lacy's mother passed in 35, she was distraught. So, she decided to find a new hobby - writing and illustrating children's books. She got onto the idea after a phone call with Ivy, who handed over Calvin's agent's information.

When she retired, Lacy moved back to Virginia Beach with Arthur, who died a year before she did. QUIRKS -Lacy won a Caldecott Medal, and displayed it in her home office until her death -Until after her death, it was kept a secret by the McMurray family that Lacy, who was close with them, had been writing Finn (Calvin's son) notes as Mrs. Claus, as well as little stories, which eventually became her 'Rudy Sees the World' books.

THAT'S ALL I'M WRITING FOR NOW!

Again, pretty much all the changes are to the characters - the setting is, for the most part, untouched! I will be writing more about the AU when I get the chance, though!

[gunilslaugh]

Hi! Hope you’re doing good :) I was thinking if you could write a pt 2 to Stay by my side fic? That one with Jooyeon x reader x jungsu. But now with a happy ending for Jooyeon and reader because they finally talk about their feelings (ofc i want a happy ending for jungsu too I don’t want him sad with this situation🥺 I kinda see him being comprehensible)

Stay by my side was inspired by “Good Enough” and I was thinking about this pt2 when I was listening no “Again? Again!” and I think it will match with the theme.

Oh and I was the one who asked for Stay by my side! I really like your writing <3 thank uu

Hi! I hope you're doing good as well <3. I had fun writing this based from the lyrics of Again? Again!

This a part 2 to Stay By My Side but I think you can read it on its own without being too confused.

A/N: I went back to reread Stay By My Side since it was one of my first works and it made me kinda want to rewrite cause you can tell it's one of my first works lol, but I don't know if anyone would be interested.

Lee Jooyeon/Kim Jungsu

Summary: Jooyeon thought that he pushed his feelings for you down and away, but then you did something that made them come surging to the surface again. What was he supposed to do? You’re still dating Jungsu. (idol au)

WC:~2.4k

Warning: Angst with a fluff ending for Jooyeon and bittersweet for Jungsu.

photo not mine credits to owner.

One day you fell into Jooyeon’s heart. Jooyeon distinctively remembers it. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Jooyeon, stop putting your vegetables on my plate!” you complained. 

“Why? I don’t eat vegetables, but you do, so you should have them.” He picks out another vegetable from his food and places it on your plate again. 

“You need to eat at least some though. They’re good for you.” Jooyeon makes a disgusted face at you. Making a comment about how vegetables may be good for you, but they don’t taste good. “At least eat the carrots ok? They’re good for your hair.” That’s when you did it. You playfully took some strands of Jooyeon’s hair and wiggled them in front of his face. Starting Jooyeon’s last love story. Without any resistance he was falling for you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

His feelings for you didn’t matter though. Not when you were happily dating his member Jungsu. His love for you was left with only regrets. Why didn’t he tell you how he really felt about you? He was tired of feeling the crack in his heart anytime he saw you and Jungsu together. He didn’t want to feel like this any longer. He had to find a way to not fall for you anymore. There has to be a way to avoid it. Jooyeon pushed his feelings for you deep down and away. Anytime he felt those romantic feelings for you he pushed them away. Labeled them as friendship. He convinced himself that he only loved you as a friend. Cared about you as a friend.

For a while this worked. The crack in his heart caused by yours and Jungsu’s relationship seemed to close. He was happy with his friendship with you. Happy to be staying by your side. Happy to have your arms wrapped around him tightly, even if it was purely platonic. 

“Doesn’t that bother you?” Jiseok asked Jungsu. 

“Does what bother me?” Jungsu questioned not knowing what Jiseok was referring to. Jiseok then motions over to where you and Jooyeon sat in the corner of the practice room. Jooyeon’s head on your shoulder. His knee practically on top of your own as you both sat with your legs criss crossed. Your elbow resting halfway on Jooyeon’s lap, holding the phone playing the video you two were watching. 

“Why would it bother me? They’re just friends. Have been for a really long time, you know that.” Jungsu shrugged. 

“I know, but if I saw my girl being that close to another guy even if it was one of my members I wouldn’t like it,” Jiseok stated. 

“So what? I should tell y/n to stop acting how she’s always acted with Jooyeon? That’s just how their friendship dynamic is. There’s nothing I should be upset about,” Jungsu says. He never thought that anything was weird with how you and Jooyeon acted. He strongly believed that your friendship with Jooyeon shouldn’t change just because you were dating him. 

“Then as long as you’re cool with it I guess,” Jiseok dismissed. 

Jungsu looked back over to where you and Jooyeon sat. You’re both still in the same position as before. Something funny must have happened in the video you and Jooyeon were watching because both of you simultaneously threw your heads back with laughter. This resulted in both of you hitting your heads against the wall. Jungsu was about to go check on you to make sure you were ok, but Jooyeon was already doing it. Gently placing his hand on the back of your head asking if you were alright. You nodded your head yes. Jungsu felt relieved knowing that you were alright, however when you raised your hand to the back of Jooyeon’s head. Mirroring the same as he just did to you and asking if he was ok, Jungsu might have felt a bit of something. 

You are currently backstage after Xdinary Heroes had finished one of their concerts. The boys were removing their stage makeup or packing their instruments away. You were helping Jungsu remove his eye makeup. You had just finished ridding the makeup from one of Jungsu’s eyes when Jooyeon called you. 

“Y/n help me too, this glitter is unforgiving,” Jooyeon whined. You looked at Jungsu. 

“Go help him, so we can leave quicker,” Jungsu told you before you could even say anything. 

“Ok,” you said. Gave Jungsu a kiss on the cheek before going to help Jooyeon. 

“Look at all this fallout. It won’t come off,” Jooeyon complained, showing you all the glitter that had fallen onto his upper cheeks. 

“What do you mean? Just use your hair to dust it off,” you joked. You took some strands of his hair and playfully brushed it across his cheeks. 

Just like that Jooyeon’s repressed feelings for you came surging to the surface. He didn’t know that he could feel this love for you again. This situation was all too much like the first time he fell for you, he loves you again. Jooyeon thinks he feels like there is a tornado inside of him. 

Jooyeon realizes how bad he wants you as you make your way back over to Jungsu. He feels that crack in his heart again that lets his feelings for you flow out spreading uncontrollably. 

Jooyeon was set on never loving you again. You were Jungsu’s and you were happy with him, so Jooyeon was only going to be your best friend. That was his role in your life and it was good enough for him. More than good enough actually. Being your best friend was one of Jooyeon’s favorite things. Your friendship was so precious to him. Which is partially why he decided to push his love for you away and never love you again, but now here he is. Very much in love with you again. He didn’t want to feel this hurt again. He thinks that he’ll never change. He’s always going to love you, but he doesn’t want to make the same mistakes again. This time he wants to tell you. That he has fallen for you, fallen for you so deep, without any resistance. How is he supposed to tell you though? He can’t exactly confess to you when you are already in a relationship with Jungsu. 

Jooyeon drew himself back from both you and Jungsu. He didn't know how to handle his feelings. It didn’t take long for you or Jungsu to notice the difference in Jooyeon’s behavior. He used to always be so happy about making plans with you, but now he suddenly wasn’t up for it. Jungsu invited you over to their dorm one day to talk to Jooyeon about it.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You ripped the bandage right off as soon as you shut the door behind you. Leaving only you and Jooyeon together while Jungsu waited in the living room.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Jooyeon quickly defended. You cocked your head at him raising a brow. 

“Jooyeon,” you stated. 

“I’m really not,” he continued with his defense. Yes, he was lying he was clearly avoiding, but that was because he didn’t know what to do with the swarming feelings tornado that was inside of him. 

“Yes you are. You ditched our movie night.” You walked over to the bed, taking a seat beside Jooyeon. You felt a tinge of pain in your heart as he scooted away from you a bit. “Did I do something? Are you upset?” you questioned. Jooyeon doesn’t want this to be the same repeating storyline where he keeps his feelings from you. He remains silent for a long time before answering.

“You made me fall in love with you again,” he finally answered. His words made you feel a whirlwind of emotions. What did he mean by again? Was your love for him not unrequited like you thought. 

“Again?” you asked. 

“Again!” he stated. 

“What do you mean Jooyeon?” You looked at him, but he only looked at his lap. 

“I’ve loved you for a long time y/n, but I was too scared to ruin our friendship. Then you started dating Jungsu, so I tried to ignore my feelings for you. I thought I would be ok with only being friends with you because you were still by my side, but I was wrong. I love you. I want to be with you so bad and I know you’re with Jungsu but-” his voice cracked. “I want you badly.” His voice was no higher than a whisper. However his heart is pounding so hard he thinks you might be able to hear it. 

Meanwhile you are having a hard time processing Jooyeon’s words. As you do begin to process his words you can’t believe them. You let out a mix of a laugh and a scoff.

“We’re idiots,” you say. 

“Huh?” Jooyeon lets out. He looks at you at last. 

“I liked you too Jooyeon, but I was sure that you didn’t like me back,” you explained. 

“Why?” he asked. 

“That one time during the holidays when I was at your house. We were doing dishes and I scolded you for not drying them properly. Your mom made a joke about asking when we would get married. You told her to not say stuff like that. That we were just friends, so she shouldn’t say silly stuff like that. I figured you only saw me as a friend that you would never love me the way I love you,” you expounded. Jooyeon recalls the day that you’re talking about. 

“Y/n no. I said that because I did like you, but I was embarrassed and I didn’t know how it would make you feel. I didn’t want you to be uncomfortable,” he informed. A silence falls over you both. Realizing that you both liked one another, but were too cowardly to say it. 

“What do we do now? I mean I’m with Jungsu. I love Jungsu, but…” You trailed off not really knowing what to say. Your thoughts were a mess. “I guess I should talk to Jungus,” you stated. Jooyeon nodded in agreement. 

“Yeah, you should.” The two of you sit there a little while longer before you get up to talk to Jungsu. You started to make your way to the door, stopping when Jooyeon spoke again. “I’m sorry y/n. I really complicated things,” he apologizes. You shook your head. 

“It’s not your fault Jooyeon. We both were stupid,” you tell him. You turned the knob of the door and left the room heading to the living room where Jungsu was. You headed over to the couch sitting down beside Jungsu. Jungsu could immediately tell that something was off.

“So what’s wrong with him?” Jungsu carefully asked. 

“He loves me,” you say. 

“He? He what?” The news actually isn't that surprising to Jungsu, but it still isn’t what he was expecting to hear. 

“My unrequited love for him. Turns out it was never unrequited,” you disclosed. Jungsu knew all about your love for Jooyeon because you told him. You told him before the two of you started going out because you wanted him to know the truth about your feelings for Jooyeon. It was the fact that you were so honest with him that only made Jungsu like you more. 

“It’s ok y/n,” he tells you. 

“What do you mean it’s ok? I really love you Jungsu. After knowing how Jooyeon really feels about me, I don’t know. My head is a mess right now.” You held your head with one hand. Jungsu slides a hand around your shoulder and brings his hand up to your head. He tilts your head over until his lips reach your temple pressing a kiss on it. 

“Let’s break up,” Jungsu says. 

“Huh? What? Jungsu I-” you started to stutter.

“It’s ok y/n.” Jungsu linked his hand with yours and placed them over your knee. Honestly when you first told Jungsu about your unrequited love for Jooyeon the only thing that surprised him was you telling him that your love was unrequited. He remembers the picture Jooyeon showed them of you from when you two went to the aquarium. You were looking at the camera, but Jooyeon was looking at you and he was looking at you with love filled eyes. Jungsu thought it was weird when you explained how Jooyeon only saw you as a friend. His suspicions didn’t keep him from falling in love with you though. The more he got to know you the more he fell for you. He couldn’t have been happier when you agreed to go out with him. He cherished every moment with you because he always had this feeling that you wouldn’t be his forever. He knew this day was coming. Saw it when you were staring at him, but Jooyeon looked at you with so much longing in his eyes. He could tell that Jooyeon loved you, but he loved you too and he wanted to ride out his time with you for as long as possible. Now your ride together has come to an end. It was time for Jungsu to let you go.

“I really love you though Jungsu,” you expressed. 

“I know, I love you too y/n which is why I’m telling you to go to him.” It was time for yours and Jooyeon’s lovestory to get written.

“Are you sure?” you checked. Your heart couldn’t help but feel a bit heavy. 

“Go! Before I decide to keep you,” he played. He pulled you up using your still linked hands. 

“Thank you Jungsu.” You squeezed his hand for the last time. He nodded his head. 

“Thank you too. For loving me and being with me,” he says, giving your hand a final squeeze before letting you go. Your hands fell apart as you walked back to Jooyeon’s room. 

Jooyeon’s head pops up as soon as you enter the room again. He stands up from his bed too. You don’t really know what to say, so instead you walk over to Jooyeon and wrap your arms around him in the tightest hug. Turning your head you press a featherlight kiss onto his cheek, letting your actions speak for you. Jooyeon feels like your kiss ignited his dry heart. This time it was serious he finally had you. He wrapped his arms just as if not more tightly around you. It’s love again.

[rosehippiefield]

Took me a few days to send an ask (sorryyyy) but I'm here! I made it! I can't match the energy you put into your ask so instead have a short story I wrote in highschool and know that you're one of my favorite mutuals

_____

A white cat padded through the halls of the school, following the crowd of parents to, assumedly, the cafeteria. His ears twitched as he walked, getting closer and closer to curling up into his turtleneck sweater with each step. Creatures of all sorts streamed into clear glass doors, entering a room full of tweens bouncing off the walls. Teachers and administrators tried to keep the crowd under control, and for the most part it seemed to be working. As more and more parents paired up with their children, the bouncing slowed and the yelling dimmed to loud conversation. The cat, whose name was Keppe, waited for the people around him to enter before opening the door for himself.

Immediately he gagged, his ears swiveling to point backwards. The room smelled awful. To be expected from any room full of middle schoolers. The smell of doughnuts made it worse, the sickly sweetness mixing with the various levels of b/o from hundreds of creatures. A frazzled teacher ushered him over to the doughnut table, where he was handed a napkin and a pastry and steered away from the table to allow the other parents to get their doughnuts as well. Keppe stared out over the crowd, his tired eyes searching for something. And he found it: a pair of long, round, black ears poking up from behind someone. He took a bite of his doughnut and walked over to sit next to the ears, which were barely attached to a small, round body. The creature glared at him, an untouched doughnut on the table next to it.

“Not hungry?” Keppe asked, chuckling as the bug thing’s scowl deepened. He knew it couldn’t eat, even if it wanted to. It had no mouth. Oh sure, it could absorb things, like a big, adorable amoeba. But it couldn’t eat. Not that it needed to. Immortal beings don’t generally need their vitamins. The two sat in silence for a while, watching the middle schoolers mill about with their parents. The bug resented Keppe for this. He had enrolled it in middle school. Middle. School. It was older than him, and here they were acting like he was its dad! It was insulting.

“You could always leave y’know,” Keppe said, as though he had read its mind. He leaned back in his chair, wiping crumbs of glaze off his paws. “Wouldn’t have to put up with me anymore.” The bug shook its head, much to Keppe’s disappointment. No, it was much more fun to mess with the cat. Cause chaos, like a feral child. It also enjoyed testing its limits, seeing how far this body could go. Having Keppe there as a backup was useful.

“Fine,” Keppe said, standing up. “Have a great day in class, munchkin!” The bug’s eyes went wide with rage. It was fuming. But it couldn’t cause a scene here, it would be sent to detention. It had been there far too much already. It glared after Keppe as he walked away, laughing to himself, and resolved that Keppe would find a few extra broken plates later this afternoon.

Ow, interesting story you have there! Middle school setting is so nostalgic for me, so it's refreshing to read something about those easier times, but at the same time... yeah, the room full of teenagers is a pure chaos. I don't know if donuts make it better or worse.

I wonder how exactly Keppe is connected to the bug, seeing that they are different species. What is even this bug? Is Keppe immortal too (or maybe everyone in this school is)? At first I simply thought that Keppe was a middleschooler too but now I'm just not sure (or maybe I'm sleepy, my reading comprehension is less than perfect). From what I can judge, the cat and the bug live together and Keppe looks after the bug in a manner, the fact that greatly angers the bug. But the phrase "It also enjoyed testing its limits, seeing how far this body could go" makes me think it's not just a bug. Like some kind of a god taking a form of a bug. My mind comes up with spy conspiracy theories that it has some ulterior motive and infiltrates school for some reason while having to play the role of a child under Keppe's guidance. I'm probably overthinking it and it's supposed to be a wholesome story about cat caring for the rebelious bug. Sorry if I'm hugely misinterpreting things

Also Keppe is desribed so cutely. I want to pet a cat now

[safflowerseason]

I also haven't done a comprehensive book post but I'd love to hear your thoughts! If anything, it's just made me have 10,000 more questions than I did before which was already A Lot. Also Justice 4 Mischa/Marissa always.

You sent this before we got Mischa Barton dropping major bombshells!! Now so much has changed!! 

I said this briefly in earlier comments but my overall take on the book now is that, while it had lots of insights in other areas not related to Mischa Barton, it ultimately demonstrated the limits of the oral history approach. MB’s specific revelations also demonstrate why an oral history was probably not the best way to really get “behind the scenes” of what happened on this particular show. Like, in my experience oral histories are generally pretty fluffy and they kind of allow everyone to share memories and their recollections without much pushback…which is basically what happened in the book. If you interview as many people as Sepinwall did and absolutely everyone refuses to go on the record about two co-stars dating because they know just how fucked-up it is…that is a story that requires a *totally* different angle than a fluffy oral history, especially one that's such a direct collaboration with the showrunners. I’ve been thinking about the book recently published by Mo Ryan called Burn It Down: Power, Complicity, and a Call for Change in Hollywood. That’s the kind of approach you’d need to do her story justice. 

At the same time, I do maintain that Sepinwall emphasized that what happened with MB’s exit was not her fault, in spite of his past (sketch) history with the show. He gave a lot of detail about network fuckery, Schwartz’s failures as a show-runner in S3, and he also showed that Brody and McKenzie were actually the ones being assholes on set, not MB, but that no one in charge cared because to Schwartz they were the two most important characters - ie, MB was considered expendable and the men were not. 

As for Schwartz…I already thought he came off pretty terribly in the book but now, like, oh my god. I don’t know how anyone but ESPECIALLY women could work with him ever again. I think it's so gross to claim that you're going to be open and honest about everything that happened on your show when you know this HUGE SECRET. Like I *get* why nobody wanted to go on the record about this and of course it's fundamentally Ben McKenzie's or Mischa Barton's news to share, but then don't PRETEND that you're going to fully explain what happened twenty years later when you know it's not the full story. Jesus Christ.

What makes me so mad is that the only reason Schwartz was so comfortable “taking the fall” in the limited way he did for what happened with MB and the show’s decline in quality is because it hasn’t actually cost him anything, and sadly I don’t think MB’s interview is going to change that. Nobody important in Hollywood cares because it was so long ago and it was his first show and one actress’s mental health and career prospects are a small price to pay for letting a man do whatever he wants on a set. So he didn’t risk anything by going on the record about all this. 

As for the non-MB parts of the book, of course I enjoyed reading everyone’s perspectives looking back, especially in the first year, and the little random fun stories that were sprinkled throughout. Chris Carmack came off as a pretty decent guy to me, and Adam Brody clearly has done a lot of reflection on that era of his life and how he acted at the time. I love Kelly Rowan and Peter Gallagher so much and I enjoyed their take on things (also intrigued by the comment that they weren't super tight on set?!) And I thought the book was a great overview of just how many factors and voices and interests went into making a single piece of television during the peak years of network tv. Like, so many different execs in charge of different things, all putting competing pressures on the show…it’s easy to see why television was so formulaic in that period. The O.C. in its earliest and best days really didn’t fit the mold for anything on TV, and as the book laid out why that was kind of the show's undoing in a way (in addition to Schwartz f*&king it up).

That was a lot and seems like enough to be getting on with for now, haha. Ultimately what I really want is a two volume exposé on the toxic culture of Hollywood in this early 00's era and how so many young women were chewed up and spat out by the system, with Mischa Barton's story as a prime example. She deserves justice!

[mdhwrites]

Thoughts On Honkai Star Rail's First Three Arcs

This isn't going to be comprehensive and I won't talk about it from a gameplay perspective. Gameplay wise, I actually REALLY like Star Rail and wish it wasn't a free to play Gacha game as those elements are mostly what I feel hold it back. However, unlike most free to play games, let alone Gacha games, I find the writing of Star Rail actually pretty decent and even good much of the time. It's why I came back to it after taking like half a year plus off so I could see what new story they had for me. But like I said, this post at least won't be extensive. You can send me asks if you want my further thoughts on other parts. Also, just as a heads up, a lot of this is going off of kind of old memories of content I could literally only go through once. Oh, and final disclaimer: This isn't taking into account side content. Not only have I not done the Xianzhou's side quests yet, I only just got told I need to wait for more story, but reviewing that is a lot harder given the time lapse unfortunately. I could review specific companions but not overall side quest quality probably other than it being alright and the Xianshou have my favorite puzzles so far probably.

With that said:

1: Herta's Space Station and the Antimatter Legion

As a story, it's fine. As a tutorial it's... Bumpy to put it mildly. The biggest issue is a problem that will come back: Proper Noun Soup. You get a lot of information thrown at you and a lot of terms having to be clarified very quickly, made worse if you try to read the DOZENS of documents scattered around even the literal tutorial part of it. It makes sense for that information to be here, this is a research station and archive. There's a lot of info here. It does mean a lot is being thrown at once at the player though.

But as a tutorial, the most important element isn't actually so much if the story is innovative, it's not as it's just saving a station under attack, as much as it is about whether or not it hooks the player. And for that...

7/10 overall for the story here.

It's quick, the action is good, the stakes are high and aren't really undervalued or undersold and the boss battle is an incredibly satisfying conclusion. The enemy may be faceless but the face we get is both literally attractive and narratively tantalizing, giving a lot of interesting questions both about our character and our rival organization just by the act of us coming to consciousness. It's only real issue is trying to retain everything thrown at you and the time that has to be spent mostly explaining stuff to you in kind of awkward ways. It's far from bad though, especially since I use the whole scale so a five is a passing grade for me.

Jarilo-VI and the Eternal Freeze

9/10 overall for me. The biggest issues come down to two things. The first is the general pitch for the world: Final Fantasy 14 Heavensward but without the dragons and gods. That's both actually not a bad thing but also slightly bad for it. Removing dragons from anything is always going to be a bummer and you would think removing gods and cults would be a bad thing but it's not.

I'm actually being reductive even calling it a ripoff. The sort of classist story that it's telling is actually pretty normal fair for speculative fiction. By removing the extreme fantasy elements though, it focuses a lot more on the actual human stakes and the suffering that's being caused by the class divide. It's honestly a very human story with a well rounded cast of all sorts to give perspective and neat twists and turns. Nothing mind blowing but pivots that add charm to the archtype. Buuuuut it's still doing the archtype and so as a fan of fantasy, there's little new about it and what is new makes me chuckle like everyone having came from the same fucking orphanage. XD

And it playing it so by the numbers feeds into its second issue: It's. Fucking. LONG. It moves at a crawl due to its factions and the like, or that's how it feels to me. It had little to escalate to by being so human so it's kind of just buzzing along for at least half of it, which is the majority of the time you're in the slums. You're not making progress outside of turning some hearts and so you're just kind of twiddling your thumbs happily as you wait for when you finally get an option to jump back into the real action.

The climax is genuinely fantastic though and pays off that slow build with a grand crescendo as allies either come in now or have been helping you the entire way. Afterwards, you feel like you genuinely accomplished something and that things will be better. Honestly, I wonder what the production process for the worlds are because this COULD have been split in half probably and been more satisfying to do it.

Speaking of:

The Xianzhou Loufu and the Stellaron Crises

5/10

Like I said, I use the whole scale and I'll admit that this might be skewed due to me having spent so long away from the story right in the middle of it. Or, more like 3/4s which you would not be expecting when you got to the moment where the main story content used to cut off at.

Pacing is the big murderer here. Despite the fact that there is a ticking time bomb somewhere on this planet ship, you don't really feel like you're doing a lot. You're stuck in bureaucracy more than anything and it takes multiple dungeon areas for you to finally talk to any of the actual villains in the ship. Otherwise, it's almost literally twiddling your thumbs and waiting. Once things happen, they happen all at once. Not even with great payoffs but almost like they were just stomping out plot points that were in the way of the final boss and they didn't have the resources to finish the story properly so it could pay off wider elements.

Now, there was this element back on Jarilo but the situation was neither so immediate and the elements being introduced came back around. Much of what makes the Loufu's sky Venice have ANY flavor doesn't really lead to anything. It gestures towards it with the cult that eventually shows up but it's actually only briefly in the story and undercuts any interesting arguments it has by going "WE'RE PURE EVIL RACISTS WHO WANT IMMORTALITY BECAUSE IT MAKES US STRONG!" and suddenly they're not interesting in anyway... Only to then be replaced by a threat that is somehow even MORE one dimensional than 'evil cult'.

There's a real lack of personal stakes in it either. It has an interesting hook by going back to that pretty face who put a bomb in our chest back on Herta but they're more a cameo. Literally for her friend, Blade who gets one moment and then just pisses off because... *shrug* The statement he made about prices needing to be paid never amounts to much of anything besides that being the first cutscene of the entire arc. It doesn't make me excited for the end cutscene of this arc because we'll see where it goes.

BUUUUUT even if the main plot of the Loufu is a lot of wasted potential and kind of meh in general, it is dragged back to treading water by the B plot. This is the first one with a B plot away from your main group and the mystery it presents is actually neat. It shows a lot of good nobility for a pretty stoic character and a pretty interesting backstory that also doesn't have to weight the character down going forward. It's the one element I would say that really pays off with the Loufu.

That doesn't save it and it has a pretty laughable epilogue where a character who died with very little personality besides being good at their job is suddenly made out to be this charismatic saint who was friends with everyone and enriched the Loufu so much and I'm just sitting here going "SURE WOULD HAVE LIKED TO HAVE SEEN THAT EARLIER!"

Plus side, the gameplay lets me reanimate her corpse since she is a playable party member in the gacha which does make having her death be a big deal less of one.

Overall Thoughts on Star Rail's Writing:

If I am judging its writing quality just by whether or not the writing is good, without context, it actually ranks pretty darn high. Probably a 7/10 which is better than most MMOs, let alone free to play gacha games. That is the draw of Hoyo admittedly. A gacha game that's closer to at least AA quality, if not AAA.

But it being a Hoyoverse property also hurts it. A LOT. I played the first arc of Genshin Impact after all and while I think the plot is better here, there's very little distinguishing the two. That shouldn't happen though because one is fantasy... Star Rail is Scifi. If you look up pictures of the Loufu though and its characters, you would almost never guess that it's scifi. They have divination, they have alchemy, there's a sidequest where you bring someone's soul out of the soul containment part of the ship to put into a robot that's effectively a golem so you can communicate with the dead. The entire final part of the story is all about gods, reincarnation and magic and NOTHING else. Its boats are grown out seeds.

And that IS frustrating. Jarilo VI is also bad about this but they're at least a civilization who's development was pushed back. Them having a contemporary/fantasy style works better there, even if not perfectly. And I am a bigger fantasy fan than scifi but I came to this expecting a scifi game. If I'm lucky, I get a scifi aesthetic, MAYBE a little flavor... But often not even that.

It's why I pause on hard recommending Star Rail for its writing. It took the traveling wanderers excuse and so far hasn't done anything with it that having isolated islands wouldn't do just as well.

And while I may be Nameless, I would like the story to start forming its own identity.

======+++++======

For anyone curious btw: I have bought the first season pass when I completed it but have spent no money on the game otherwise. I don't have the money to spend on free to play games and in general I just don't. If I play consistently enough to clear a season pass though, I usually feel like the devs have earned a bit of money out of me in return.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[callmearcturus]

How to Read Whomstve in 2021

Hey Arc, what are you doing?

I'm getting into this thing called Whomstve—

You mean you're back into Homest—

SSSSSSHHHHH don't say its name!

It's Complicated.

So if you don't know, here is the abbreviated version: I started reading Whomstve on the day it ended, the day of the final [S] Act 7 animation, because I watched it on a whim and said "man this music is fucking rad, I should finally try to read this," and then I did.

Then, a few years later, after the completion of the story, Hussie and their compatriots released The Home/stuck Epilogues, which were bad. They were very, very bad and in a specifically very hateful, vindictive way, and they essentially decimated the fandom. Many people left within a month. Most were gone in a year. And they were right to, in my opinion.

(You know how Game of Thrones was the cash cow Cultural Moment and then the finale happened and it fucking vanished from popular consciousness? It was like that, except imagine GOT had a decent ending and people kept enjoying it and then three years later they released a new ending that ruined the show. That's the Epilogues.)

Fast forward to about…. the end of September, 2021. A full 900 days after the Epilogues Happened, I was struck with a thought:

Man. I miss Jake English.

And now, three or four weeks later, I'm into Whomstve.

Okay why "whomstve" tho?

I think my friend Asherinn started this, it was our little way to bitch about the epilogues without winding up on the Tumblr search. Now, to me, Whomstve very specifically means "Home//stuck, before the (Not Actually) Post-Canon content." It's the story I loved.

What I found surprising is that… and this shocked me a lot, trust me: Whomstve is still good. I've done the relisten and it's good, actually. I'm stunned, actually.

When the Epilogues happened, one of the predominate emotions myself and others had was a sense of "were we wrong? was it always bad and we just didn't see it?"

Hi. I'm here. And no, it was good once. And that part still is.

Now you're gonna tell me how to get into """Whomstve"""" right?

Yeah, p much.

I have a few thoughts on this. I'll try to be concise—

Actually I'm impatient, just tell me what to do.

Fine, the short version:

Read Acts 1 through 3, either on the Home//stuck website or using the Unofficial Home//stuck Collection.

Switch to Lets Read Home//stuck starting with Act 4, and continue on from there.

Switch back to the website or UHSC when you run out of LRHS. It'll get you most of the way to the end.

Stop at [S] Act 7 or [S] Credits. Do not read the Epilogues.

Hit me up for fic recs.

Now, the long version.

ONE: Whomstve is best read and understood in archival format, and anyone who tells you differently is incorrect.

For clarity: the "live read" is having read the comic as it was updating. The "archive read" is having read it as a complete, finished story.

I am 1000% certain that being in the fandom during the live update cycle of the story was very cool and very specific and frankly an experience that will never be repeated. I know and respect that.

However, if you have heard shit about how HS is difficult to understand or even impossible or that it doesn't make sense— this is because the Live Read is vastly inferior to the Archive Read when it comes to your reading comprehension. Many of the complaints people have about the story are solved by experiencing it as a complete story, when you set the pace of your read, and you don't have literally months of downtime between updates in which people spin so much conjecture and theorycraft that their actual understanding of canon is hampered.

So. To appreciate the story, forget all the memes and shit, all the fandom history around it, and just read the fucking story, and it will be great. I promise.

TWO: Okay but should I skip to the trolls.

Act One and Two are not very interesting, compared to the rest of the story.

There, said it.

Unless you imprint on the first hero of the story, John Egbert, you can feel free to just fucking speedread the first two acts of the story. Here, I'll summarize what happens:

It's John Egbert's birthday. He has three best friends, Dave Strider, Rose Lalonde (you'll love her), and Jade Harley. They are destined to play a video game named SBURB that unbeknownst to them will end the world. (Kinda, don't worry about it.) By playing the game, they ascend into the game's world. Each of them have to join the game, and the circumstances around them doing so become increasingly complicated. Through Acts One and Two, John enters the game, then Rose enters the game, whilst we learn about each of the kids and start to learn hints about the greater mythology of SBURB.

It's reading through Acts 1 to 3, but like. Briskly. Act 4 is where shit pops tf off.

(Hell there is an in-canon recap I can link you if you REALLY wanna go fast.)

Wait wait you want me to read THREE FUCKING ACTS before it gets good?

No. It's good. It just doesn't get great until Act 4, imo. You know how The Magnus Archives was never a bad show but that fucker took tf off in season three and four? Yeah, that.

Oh and this is important to understand.

Yeah. Trust me, it'll go quick.

(oh and important to note: this isn't even accurate because pages have varying amounts of words. a page can be a 500 word conversation between characters, or it can be a two sentence joke, or it could be an animation. i looked for a word count chart and failed to find one. I strongly suspect Acts 1-3 are even smaller than this chart conveys. anyway.)

THREE: You mentioned that you "listen" to HS above.

I feel like this is extremely and useful, especially because I know a lot of my followers are into audio-media like podcasts.

I have properly read HS three times. I have listened to Lets Read Home//stuck probably about 7 times. It is my preferred way to experience the comic. I think starting with Act 4, you can and possibly should just put on LRHS and experience the story that way.

Why not Acts 1 thru 3? The production values and voice acting from Act 4 and onward are extremely fucking listenable, and occasionally they are even better than just reading the comic. There are no truly Bad performances, only about two I would call mediocre, and more than 15 I would call really goddamn fucking good, and about three I think deserve fucking acting accolades. Also the Hivebent Narrator's voice is hot, I'm sorry.

Isn't it a different experience than reading the comic on the site? Yes, but in a good way. A few years ago, HS as a property was acquired by Viz Media, and a lot of little things in the comic have been altered and lost due to this. Most of the comic was coded in specific languages, and to preserve them, Viz has uploaded a lot of shit to Youtube, which…. loses something very real to the story. So if you are gonna lose something, why not also gain something by listening to Lets Read Home//stuck?

(Hilarious aside: I just tried to run [S] Cascade on the official site to grab a screencap and the fucking embed crashed. GOOD JOB VIZ. God.)

Also if you have not experienced LRHS's Rose Lalonde from Act 4 onward, you are missing the fuck out bc that is an oscar-worthy performance of one of the best characters in the story. I'm not kidding.

But it's not complete! I would say LRHS has covered…… over 80% of the story. And they are still actively updating, actually. They fully plan on finishing the comic and I really believe they will do it someday.

Do you have another reason to use LRHS? Yes. The biggest reason:

The trolls.

The trolls are recurring characters. Several are major cast members. They all have Typing Quirks. Some are readable, like Karkat's:

CG: SO I GUESS TODAY IS FINALLY THE DAY YOU FUCK EVERYTHING UP.

Some are...

GC: R34LLY TH3R3S L1K3 TH1S WHOL3 CONSP1R4CY 4BOUT TH1S

I cannot read this shit. When I read HS for the first time, I installed browser extensions to literally remove the quirks. But with LRHS, it's fucking read to you, and by people who know what they're doing.

I cannot recommend LRHS enough. I even have ripped MP3s of the whole thing and its in an audiobook on my phone. Yeah. Yep. That's sure a thing I just admitted to. (If you want 'em lemme know.)

FOUR: I don't want to listen to Whomstve, I want to read it, and I'm upset it's not well preserved.

Someone has Done The Fucking Work of archiving the entirety of Home//stuck.

Two downloads, and you will have a self-contained browser on your computer that will let you read all of it. It's very neat and clean, it has helpful configs to change how the font looks if you have issues reading it (however nothing to remove quirks, sorry) and it maintains the multiple games and special animations in the story.

To use it, you DL the main file, then you DL the asset file. It's easy, it's safe, I have a copy on my computer.

FIVE: Stop with either [S] Act 7 or [S] Credits.

This is a matter of opinion, which ending you prefer. Just, whatever you do, do not:

Read the Epilogues

Play the visual novels

Touch literally anything that says "meat" or "candy"

And that's Whomstve! Hit me up for fic recs when you're done.

SIX: Things to know going in.

Like with all media that was made over a decade ago, some shit has not aged well. There is frequent use of the r-slur, until very suddenly it vanishes from the entire comic because presumably Hussie realized it wasn't a funny word. There are a few characters with uncomfortable racial coding, and one that is literally just an fucking Moonspeak Asian joke. She's a minor character really deep in Act 6, I can tell you how to fully avoid her, just hmu. There is one unfunny use of the term "f*g", but the context is a mitigating factor imo. There is also the trouble of Home//stuck trying hard to be "aracial" as in none of the kids have a canon ethnicity. It's as much of a cop-out as you expect, but its something that imo is heavily explored in the fandom. That doesn't excuse it in the canon though, obviously.

The Ultimate Riddle: Why do you care about Whomstve?

That's difficult to answer.

Let me explain one of my favorite things about it. Maybe that'll help.

In Act 5 Act 2 (yep) there is an animation called [S] Jade: Enter. It comes pretty deep in the story, and if you watched it without any context, it's impenetrable. What the fuck is that dog? What's that door? Why is there a meteor? What is fucking happening?

But if you have read Whomstve up to that point, you reach [S] Jade: Enter, and you are given a fucking clusterfuck of a story beat. There is a moment I fucking shrieked to myself because at that point, I understood the language of HS enough that the Thing that happened was simple, fast, thoughtless, but in that single instant explained everything that had gone wrong up to that point in the story. Suddenly I understood jack everything.

This is Whomstve's midterm exam. It's a story that slowly, lovingly, patiently teaches you an entire language of symbology and mythology and mechanics, all so it can show you a dog and a glowy thing, and it can make you shriek in terror because the ramifications are that. fucking. exquisite.

And then Act 5 ends with [S] Cascade, which is simultaneously your final exam and reward. You have been again slowly, patiently taught what feels like an entire language, and for your time and attention, the story gives you a spectacle that

I literally cannot even put into words for you. If I sat you down and showed you, the uninitiated, [S] Cascade, it would be just visual noise. (Honestly, wanna watch it? Go for it. You will not understand what is happening but the music fucks. Enjoy the spectacle.) But if you reached that point organically, it's a fucking present that genuinely, truly wants to reward you for your effort.

So my point is this: the time put into reading this fucking monstrosity of a story is rewarded in a way that no other piece of media has ever rewarded me. I have never so thoroughly felt like I was being given something by a story as thanks for my time.

Also its funny. Also the art can be incredible. Also the music is NOTHING BUT THE FUCKING HITS. Also the gay delight of Rose and Kanaya's conversations in Act 5 Act 2 is unprecedented. Also when you find out why Karkat is talking to John backwards you're going to die. Also Almost Everyone Is Queer and they are all really complex, deep characters, even many of the ones they tried to just make a joke. Also if you're a good person you deserve to experience [S] Synchronize/Unite. Also the slow slow slow slow fucking burn of the story of Dave Strider will fuck you up. Also Jake English is one of the greatest, most complicated, incredible characters ever rendered in fiction. Also you will want to know what your classpect is.

Also there's a lesbian vampire alien who uses a chainsaw that turns into lipstick when not in use. She hooks up with a snooty, hilarious know it all witch girl who's handle is literally tentacleTherapist. Come on.

Whomstve is good. Give it a shot. I'll have fic for you after you're done.

Wait wait a minute wait, wtf does [S] mean?

Oh. Sound. It means the page has sound. Usually it means there's an animation.

[pleasantanathema]

Sinful Hymns

Pairing: Erwin Smith x Fem!Reader

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Warnings: Hair pulling, some rough sex, sex on a desk, religious allusions, a dash of authority kink, no spoilers past early season 1

Word Count: 4k

A/N: In celebration of Season 4 of Attack on Titan airing today, here’s a fulfilled request for Commander Handsome 💕 Thank you so much to the anon who requested this, I had so much fun writing this!

           You couldn’t sleep. There was a nagging in your mind, shadowy visions of titans ascending mountains, climbing walls—the same nightmares that plagued you ever since you joined the scouts all those years ago. You found yourself in the showers, all alone scrubbing away your sins and torments. But even a cleansing couldn’t seem to quell your thoughts, so you roamed.

           The meandering halls of the old scout regiment headquarters were cold, musty, unwelcoming even with Levi’s cleaning. Glimmering lamp light under a cracked door caught your attention, the only light you’d seen while on your stroll.

           The Commander was still awake.

           You weren’t sure what compelled you to stop, to bring your knuckles to rap against the wood of the door. You’d once been quite close with Erwin, back when you were both cadets and working your way up the ranks, but he’d become quite elusive since becoming the Commander. You’d always been interested in him, found your gaze lingering on him a little too long when was around. There was some kind of irresistible, seductive pull towards him, like if you got close enough, he might let you explore the man under the armor. You wondered if he felt it, too, or if your lust was one-sided.

          You were just too curious about what would keep him awake at night. Maybe he struggled with the same miseries you did when the nights felt too dark.

          Tentatively, you slid past the open door.

          Blue eyes caught your movement, his handsome face tilting towards you from where it was seated in his palm.

          He whispered your name, smile tugging at his cheeks.

          “Commander Smith,” you acknowledged, “you’re up quite late.”

          “Seems I’m not the only one.” There was an amusement in his voice that you couldn’t quite place.

          He leaned back in his chair as you stayed in your place, a sudden rise of bashfulness making you bite at the inside of your lip. You were sure you were pestering him; you should’ve just wandered back to your room. Your feet were ready to move, heels pressed against the floor to turn and leave at his behest.

          “Is there something I can help you with?”

          “I—no, I just couldn’t sleep. Apologies, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

          “No, you’re no bother. Rather, you’re quite a pleasant distraction at the moment,” he gestured to his desk, littered with paperwork and books opened to forgotten pages, “come in, shut the door behind you.”

           You did as you were so kindly told, clicking the door into place behind you before moving in closer. His office was warm, bathed in dim candlelight from the lamp on his desk, shadows being cast from the bookshelves that lined the walls. You noticed he was in only a white button-down and trousers, his ODM gear placed neatly on a chest behind where he sat.

          Your hands came to rest on the chair that was placed in front of his desk for his visitors. You remained standing, not quite ready to be so familiar as to just sit and talk with him. There was humor in his eyes as they scanned your figure, undoubtedly surprised to see you dressed so casually as well, simple pants and shirt being all you brought to wear after taking your late-night shower.

          “Tell me, what keeps you awake?”

           There were many answers to his question, but you erred on the side of simplicity.

           “Nightmares. What about you? What’s kept you awake tonight?”

            Erwin sighed, deep and heavy from his chest. You observed how his long fingers gripped at the armrest of his seat, knuckles white.

           “Letters. Demands from the Military Police to hand over the boy who turns into a titan, demands from royalty to execute him. But also my own curiosities. I’ve been reading to see if there are any records of anyone else like him.”

           “I see,” your tongue clicked behind your lips as you recognized the heaviness bound within his broad shoulders, “anything I can help you with?”

           He smiled fully then, white teeth curving against his pretty lips.

          “Like I said, you’re a welcome distraction. How have you been?”

           Again, there were too many ways to answer his question. But you couldn’t bring yourself to bring your burdens to him, not when he was already carrying the weight of the world upon his back.

          “Life isn’t as simple as it used to be,” not that living in this world had ever been easy.

          “No, I’m afraid it isn’t.”

           You caught an etching of the walls on his desk, details of Sina and Maria partially obscured by a leather-bound book, penciled in lines and notes scribbled around the paper’s edges. Something about it drew you in, had you moving to perch on the edge of his desk, one thigh crinkling pages of ink as your fingers deftly plucked at the drawing.

           He watched you with curiosity, eyebrows lifted as he brought a hand to his chin.

          Your nail traced against the charcoal lines, gaze scanning the comprehensive sketch of the rounded walls and the cities held within them.

         “My father used to think there was some kind of power within the walls; believed there was some unseen magic lingering within the stones to keep us safe…” you trailed off, the rest of your thoughts caught within your throat, “...I’m glad he wasn’t alive when the walls were breached, would’ve ruined the mystery for him.”

         “Was he a believer in the Church of the Walls?”

         “No,” you hummed softly, “just someone who thought there was more to the story.”

          Quite like yourself, you wanted to say, but left the words unspoken. You set the yellowing paper back on his desk, arms crossing.

          He rolled his shoulders in a quiet stretch, running a tired hand through his blonde undercut as he looked up at you. You’d always found him overwhelmingly handsome, the kind of man who changed the atmosphere of a room when he walked in. But there was always a warmth to him, like there was always something brewing, churning inside that enticing mind of his.

          “I never could understand how people could worship the walls,” he mused, shifting his weight forward, getting a little closer to where you were perched, “not when there are other, more...beautiful things to praise.”

          Heat crept up the back of your neck, your too-close proximity to him becoming all too apparent. But he kept getting closer.

          His hand found your knee, fingers trailing over the tight threads of your pants.

          The act seemed endearing, harmless, but the simple touch had your desire rearing its sordid head again. You felt emboldened, confidence swelling in your chest.

         “Then what would you worship, Erwin?”

         “I’m a man of too many sins, I doubt there’s any kind of faith that could bring me absolution.”

          Your fingers ached to touch him, your hand reaching toward his face before your mind could stop the movement. His cheek was warm, skin soft under the brush of your thumb.

          “I don’t believe that. There has to be something beautiful for you to admire…” you felt his fingers tighten against your leg, drifting higher up your thigh, pulling you in, bringing you closer.

          “I could start with you.”

          The tension snapped, splitting like a tightly strung cord between you. You heeded the call to be nearer, moving your hand to rest against his shoulder for balance as you took the initiative to settle yourself in his lap. For a moment, you worried that you pushed too far, that you’d invaded his personal space and made him uncomfortable. But those fears were battered quickly when eager hands took hold of your waist, palms spread wide as they trailed up your back.

          “I’ve always admired you from afar,” he was hushed, breath fanning over your neck, “but you’re much easier to worship up close.”

          You kissed him without a second thought. Years of attraction, of adoration, fueled your lips, your hands grasping at his jawline as he met your passion. His mouth slanted against yours ardently, impatient hands slipping under your shirt.

          You sucked in a sharp breath through your nose at the feel of his warm fingers ghosting up your skin, now suddenly very aware you hadn’t bothered to wear anything below your clothes—you thought you’d be returning to your room, not wandering into your Commander’s lap. You moaned into his mouth, his tongue slipping past your parted lips to taste you. You were overcome with too much, all your senses now flooding with Erwin, his scent, his touch, his entire being smothering you with all the attentions you had ever craved from him.

          His thumbs brushed the undersides of your breasts, a groan leaving his chest when you settled lower into his lap, your thighs draped over his own and your core pressed against his hardening cock.

          This wasn’t real—this couldn’t be real, surely you were caught up in one of your dreams again, but his lips against yours felt real, felt hungry, his large hands now cupping and holding the weight of your breasts within his hands. Your fingers carded through his hair, nails delicately raking through the roots to remind yourself that it was him, that this was real.

          “You taste like sin,” he praised, peppering kisses down the column of your throat.

          Any thought you had of replying disappeared when strong fingers pinched at your nipples, causing a heavy moan to fall out of your mouth as your head tilted back, allowing him more access to your neck. He plucked tenderly at your sensitive flesh, a noticeable smirk growing upon his lips as each tug and roll of your breasts had you gasping, whining. He quite liked that, it seemed, to be able to play you so easily.

          You mumbled curses into the air, eyes fluttering closed. You experimentally rolled your hips in his lap, an attempt to get a similar rise from him. He bared his teeth against your throat, canines nipping into your skin before pressing his lips down more forcefully, sucking and lapping at your neck. Heat bloomed from where his mouth met your body, a telling sign that you would have a mark there to remember him by. He was careful, choosing a supple spot below where the collar of your uniform would cover you tomorrow.

           Erwin’s hands released your aching breasts, moving down to grasp at the hem of your shirt.

          “Take this off,” he demanded, a string of saliva still connecting his lips to your neck.

           You dropped your hands from his hair, trailing down his broad chest before meeting his hands and pulling your shirt up over your head. It fell to the floor carelessly, the chill of the room making your skin pebble with gooseflesh.

           You took note of how his cheeks were flushed pink, blush faint across his elegant aquiline nose.

           His intimidating, icy eyes flickered up to you, making your own flush spread across your body. You felt like he was looking through you, reading your thoughts, hearing your internal screams for more. Then, his gaze fell back to your heaving breasts, hands greedily taking them again, lips wrapping around one of your nipples and making you whimper.

           You could feel his cock pressing against you now, harder and thicker than before, the ridge of it nestled against your throbbing cunt. You rolled yourself against it, delighted sounds leaving both of your mouths at the contact. His tongue swirled around your puckered nipple, teeth just barely daring to drag against your flesh. You buried your fingers into his shoulders, feeling his muscles tighten and then relax at your touch.

          “Oh-oh fuck, I—,”

          “You’re dripping,” he interrupted, one of his hands unclasping from your breast and drifting down your belly to rub at the damp spot between your legs, “I can feel you against me.”

           You shivered at the wanton touch, thighs clenching against his legs.

          “Did you come here tonight to seduce me?”

           He mumbled the words against your breast, tongue flattening against your nipple with a few long, heavy licks as his eyes flashed up to you, waiting for your response.

           “No, sir, I promise that wasn’t my,” you moaned as a thick finger slid against your clit through your clothes, “that wasn’t my intention.”

           His wet lips left your breast, coy smirk painting his face.

          “Shame, that was my plan the moment you stepped into my office.”

           You always did fall for his tricks; if only you’d known his hand against your thigh earlier wasn’t so harmless after all.

          “And how did this plan of yours end, Commander?”

           It still felt strange to call him by that title after so many years of calling him by his name, but there was something sensual about it, something alluring about his newfound authority.

           His hands were pushing at your hips, fingers crushing into your skin as he lifted you to move back.

          “With you bent over my desk.”

           It didn’t take him long to wrangle you into the position he so desired. His hands were unhurried, purposeful as he pushed you to stand, peeling your pants down your legs before pressing your face into the pile of papers on his desk. You felt so exposed, what with him being able to see your pussy on display from behind you while all you could focus on was his touch and the way the flame at the edge of his desk flickered.

           Erwin’s fingers spread the folds of your cunt, an appreciative hum sounding from his throat. You mewled at the touch, thighs shaking in your anticipation. The button to his pants popped softly, then you finally felt him, felt his hard, thick cock nudging at your entrance.

           Your hands crumpled a few pages as you searched for something to cling to. Your heart was pounding in your ears, suddenly all too aware that the Commander was still fully clothed, while you were laid out across his desk like a naked whore. One of his hands pulled at your hip, the other trailing down the expanse of your back.

           There was a boldness coming to life inside you at the realization that he’d wanted you the moment you appeared within his room.

           “Worth worshipping, Erwin?”

            You ate your words as he shoved himself inside you, stretching you to your limits as your body burned to accommodate his size. You cried out against the mass of papers, eyes blurring as pleasure burst across all of your nerve endings.

            He groaned at the feeling himself, both hands now digging into the meat of your hips.

            “Fuck,” you heard him breath in deep as he slid is cock out of you before slamming in again, “oh absolutely, darling.”

            You hadn’t heard Erwin curse before.

            But you didn’t have time to dwell on your thoughts, not with him now moving ruthlessly inside you, hips snapping against your ass with every sharp, deep thrust. Little sounds left your lips with every plunge, blissful tingles stemming from where your bodies were conjoined. You loved how you could feel the head of his fat cock dragging along your walls, thick veins throbbing under silken skin.

             You were far past believing this was a dream, now convinced you were actually in the sweet joys of a paradise beyond life.

             A coil of pleasure began to tighten within your lower stomach, hot and mean, like it was ready to tear and erupt with a rush of ecstasy. You moaned his name like a prayer, eyes closed tightly as you focused on the intensity of his cock thrusting inside you.

             You wouldn’t last long, not with the sinful hymns of his grunts and praises resounding behind you. His sounds were faint, but they were there, little rumbling of “so good, so tight,” kissing at your ears.

             God, you could die. You could die and live a happy, full life from this moment alone. You felt so whole with him inside you, felt coated with desire and praise like never before. There were bruises already forming from his grip, you could feel them, skin sore and burning beneath his massive hands.

             “You’re beautiful wrapped around my cock,” he voiced, tone deep and praising, brawny arm sweeping up your spine to fist in your hair. Your head jerked with his action, back arching as he pulled at you. You gasped at the discomfort, a dull ache forming from his too-tight grip. But the pain was overshadowed by the rivers of rapture running over your skin. Your breasts bounced with every thrust, your whole body rebounding like snapping elastic from his brutal behavior.

             The new angle had his cock slamming against that spot inside you that had your body going almost numb from the pleasure, white hot heat spreading over all your limbs, making your toes curl against the floor. You felt like you were fracturing, that thrilling tendril tightening in your belly to its breaking point. You could feel your walls sucking in his cock, your body pleading on its own.

             “Oh fuck, Commander—Erwin,” you were completely lost to the delirium, mind ruined.

            “I know,” he grunted, fingers stiffening in your hair, craning your neck back farther, “I feel you, you’re so—you’re so fucking tight.”

            You crashed down around him, your cunt clenching and pulsing in waves of euphoria, each crest making your lower muscles spasm. Your chin fell, your head only being held by the might of his hand, your brain so foggy with lust and release that you felt as if you had ascended the walls too quickly and fallen back down again. A fresh, euphoric jolt splintered down your body as he sheathed his cock fully into your depths, making your eyes flutter as your mouth opened in a glorious, blissed out state.

           Your body threatened to crumple against the desk, but he held you; the space between his palms and strong fingers was one of the safest places in the world, nothing could touch you if Erwin had you beneath his touch. The fierce tightening of your body sent him over the edge. Hot cum poured inside of you, making you cry out at the captivating feeling of being completely filled by him, the Commander’s seed pooling within your pussy. Your snug walls struggled to flutter around the girth of his cock, prolonging your orgasm and leaving you gasping for breath and basking in every dull thump of his cock inside of you.

           He gently let go of your hair, letting your spent body rest against the desk as he caught his breath. He smoothed his hands over your hips, a tinge of regret in his chest as he noticed the dark prints of his fingers etched into your skin. Erwin wasn’t used to letting go, to letting lust overtake him so mercilessly.

           You stirred after a few moments, straightening your back and finding your balance between your legs. Erwin enveloped you in his arms, hand against your cheek as he trailed his lips up your neck, capturing the side of your mouth with a fervent kiss.

          “Are you alright, darling?” Concern laced his tone, hand smoothing over your belly. You shuttered at the gentle touch, your skin cooling from sweat as you leaned back against his chest, cum sticky and crawling down your thighs.

           You still felt lost, like you were waking from the dark depths of slumber, his hands calling you to him. One palm wrapped around your neck, stroking at the column of your throat like he was helping you to find your breath.

          “Yes, yes I’m…,” you couldn’t think of the words to describe just how you felt. It was like you’d finally been cleansed, every grievous thought expunged from your mind, but also like you’d fallen back into the past, back into your daydreams of wishing Erwin would press you against the barracks wall and smothering his name from your mouth.

         “It is yes sir, to you, don’t forget I’m your superior now,” he teased between nips and kisses, a smile brushing against your skin.

         You turned in his arms, pressing your naked chest against his wrinkled shirt, the cotton soft against your breasts. You stood on your toes to try and match his height, molding your lips to his, stealing his grin and making it your own.

          “I could never forget, not with such a display of power,” you affirmed, seriousness apparent on your tongue. You knew he could take anything he wanted from you, and you were more than willing to lay yourself bare for him whenever he pleased.

          You expected there to be a stillness between you, a moment of reflection after such a callous coupling. But Erwin’s hands were greedy, selfish, cupping and kneading at the soft flesh of your ass, of the side of your breast. You were small in his shadow; a miniscule frame being devoured by a starved predator.

          “I want to see just how well you obey orders. Go to my quarters and wait for me, I’m not finished with you yet.”

           Your head nodded accordingly, your knees ready to kneel to the floor and gather your forgotten garments. But Erwin kept his fingers in your flesh, preventing you from moving from his hold when you tried.

           “Ah, I don’t think you need your clothing, not when you’ll just be shedding it again so soon.”

           There was a playful glint in his eyes, his eyebrows thoughtfully pressed together as he tried to gauge your response.

           “Erwin,” his hands cinched around your body, an acute reminder, “sir, I can’t...walk to your room naked.”

           He patted your backside before he sat back into the chair behind his desk, cock tucked neatly back into his pants. There was still a pretty blush tingeing his cheeks, his lips plump and dark pink from all their time spent sucking at your skin. You almost wanted to cover yourself under his scrutinizing gaze, icy irises roaming your body like a piece of art bought and hung on a wall for his viewing pleasure.

           “It’s late, there shouldn’t be anyone to find you,” he relaxed, arms crossing across his chest, “but, if you happen to be unfortunate, remind them that you are under your Commander’s orders.”

           Erwin took a sick delight in watching your eyes narrow at him, your lips pursing in slight irritation; but he knew you wouldn’t dare disobey him, you’d always been too good of a soldier for that, and now a promising plaything.

           He couldn’t help but survey your body as you walked towards the door, delicious curves and marks from his skin on an alluring display, his cum still flowing down your thighs. You’d be a blessed sight to anyone who got the privilege to see you on your journey to his sleeping quarters, a goddess floating down the corridors.

           You looked over your shoulder at him when you opened the door, catching his diligent gaze and matching it. He always thought you’d be amusing to toy with and you’d proven that with how easily you could match his intensity.

           “You shouldn’t be up so late, Commander Smith, nothing good happens after midnight.”

           He hid the smirk behind his hand as you left his office the same as you entered, only bare-skinned and with a new, more suitable destination.

[army-of-mai-lovers]

in which I get progressively angrier at the various tropes of atla fandom misogyny

tbh I think it would serve all of us to have a larger conversation about the specific ways misogyny manifests in this fandom, because I’ve seen a lot of people who characterize themselves as feminists, many of whom are women themselves, discuss the female characters of atla/lok in misogynistic ways, and people don’t talk about it enough. 

disclaimer before I start: I’m not a woman, I’m an afab nonbinary person who is semi-closeted and thus often read as a woman. I’m speaking to things that I’ve seen that have made me uncomfy, but if any women (esp women existing along other axes of oppression, e.g. trans women, women of color, disabled women, etc) want to add onto this post, please do!

“This female character is a total badass but I’m not even a little bit interested in exploring her as a human being.” 

I’ve seen a lot of people say of various female characters in atla/lok, “I love her! She’s such a badass!” now, this statement on its own isn’t misogynistic, but it represents a pretty pervasive form of misogyny that I’ve seen leveled in large part toward the canon female love interests of one or both of the members of a popular gay ship (*cough* zukka *cough*) I’m going to use Suki as an example of this because I see it with her most often, but it can honestly be applied to nearly every female character in atla/lok. Basically, people will say that they stan Suki, but when it comes time to engage with her as an actual character, they refuse to do it. I’ve seen meta after meta about Zuko’s redemption arc, but I so rarely see people engage with Suki on any level beyond “look at this cool fight scene!” and yeah, I love a cool Suki fight scene as much as anybody else, but I’m also interested in meta and headcanons and fics about who she is as a person, when she isn’t an accessory to Sokka’s development or doing something cool. of course, the material for this kind of engagement with Suki is scant considering she doesn’t have a canon backstory (yet) (don’t let me down Faith Erin Hicks counting on you girl) but with the way I’ve seen people in this fandom expand upon canon to flesh out male characters, I know y’all have it in you to do more with Suki, and with all the female characters, than you currently do. frankly, the most engagement I’ve seen with Suki in mainstream fandom is justifying either zukki (which again, is characterizing her in relation to male characters, one of whom she barely interacts with in canon) or one of the Suki wlw pairings. which brings me to--

“I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!” 

now, I will admit, two of my favorite atla ships are yueki and mailee, and so I totally understand being interested in these characters’ dynamics, even if, as is the case with yueki, they’ve never interacted canonically. however, it becomes a problem for me when these ships are always in the background of a zukka fic. at some point, it becomes obvious that you like this ship because it gets either Zuko or Sokka’s female love interests out of the way, not because you actually think the characters would mesh well together. It’s bad form to dislike a female character because she gets in the way of your gay ship, so instead, you find another girl to pair her off with and call it a day. to be clear, I’m not saying that everybody who ships either mailee or yueki (or tysuki or maisuki or yumai or whatever other wlw rarepair involving Zuko or Sokka’s canon love interests) is nefariously trying to sideline a female character while acting publicly as if she’s is one of their faves--far from it--but it is noteworthy to me how difficult it is to find content that centers wlw ships, while it’s incredibly easy to find content that centers zukka in which mailee and/or yueki plays a background role. 

also, notice how little traction wlw Katara ships gain in this fandom. when’s the last time you saw yuetara on your dash? there’s no reason for wlw Katara ships to gain traction in a fandom that is so focused on Zuko and Sokka getting together, bc she doesn’t present an immediate obstacle to that goal (at least, not an obstacle that can be overcome by pairing her up with a woman). if you are primarily interested in Zuko and Sokka’s relationship, and your queer readings of other female characters are motivated by a desire to get them out of the way for zukka, then Katara’s canon m/f relationship isn’t a threat to you, and thus, there’s no reason to read her as potentially queer. Or even, really, to think about her at all. 

“Katara’s here but she’s not actually going to do anything, because deep down, I’m not interested in her as a person.” 

the show has an enormous amount of textual evidence to support the claim that Sokka and Katara are integral parts of each other’s lives. so, she typically makes some kind of appearance in zukka content. sometimes, her presence in the story is as an actual character with layers and nuance, someone whom Sokka cares about and who cares about Sokka in return, but also has her own life and goals outside of her brother (or other male characters, for that matter.) sometimes, however, she’s just there because halfway through writing the author remembered that Sokka actually has a sister who’s a huge part of the show they’re writing fanfiction for, and then they proceed to show her having a meetcute with Aang or helping Sokka through an emotional problem, without expressing wants or desires outside of those characters. I’m honestly really surprised that I haven’t seen more people calling out the fact that so much of Katara’s personality in fanon revolves around her connections to men? she’s Aang’s girlfriend, she’s Sokka’s sister, she’s Zuko’s bestie. never mind that in canon she spends an enormous amount of time fighting against (anachronistic, Westernized) sexism to establish herself as a person in her own right, outside of these connections. and that in canon she has such interesting complex relationships with other female characters (e.g. Toph, Kanna, Hama, Korra if you want to write lok content) or that there are a plethora of characters with whom she could have interesting relationships with in fanon (Mai, Suki, Ty Lee, Yue, Smellerbee, and if you want to write lok content, Kya II, Lin, Asami, Senna, etc). to me, the lack of fandom material exploring Katara’s relationships with other women or with herself speak to a profound indifference to Katara as a character. I’m not saying you have to like Katara or include her in everything you write, but I am asking you to consider why you don’t find her interesting outside of her relationships with men.

“I hate Katara because she talks about her mother dying too often.” 

this is something I’ve seen addressed by people far more qualified than I to address it, but I want to mention it here in part because when I asked people which fandom tropes they wanted me to talk about, this came up often, but also because I find it really disgusting that this is a thing that needs to be addressed at all. Y’all see a little girl who watched her mother be killed by the forces of an imperialist nation and say that she talks about it too much??? That is a formational, foundational event in a child’s life. Of course she’s going to talk about it. I’ve seen people say that she doesn’t talk about it that often, or that she only talks about it to connect with other victims of fn imperialism e.g. Jet and Haru, but frankly, she could speak about it every episode for no plot-significant reason whatsoever and I would still be angry to see people say she talks about it too much. And before you even bring up the Sokka comparison, people deal with grief in different ways. Sokka  repressed a lot of his grief/channeled it into being the “man” of his village because he knew that they would come for Katara next if he gave them the opportunity. he probably would talk about his mother more if a) he didn’t feel massive guilt at not being able to remember what she looked like, and b) he was allowed to be a child processing the loss of his mother instead of having to become a tiny adult when Hakoda had to leave to help fight the fn. And this gets into an intersection with fandom racism, in that white fans (esp white American fans) are incapable of relating to the structural trauma that both Sokka and Katara experience and thus can’t see the ways in which structural trauma colors every single aspect of both of their characters, leading them to flatten nuance and to have some really bad takes. And you know what, speaking of bad fandom takes--   

“Shitting on Mai because she gets in the way of my favorite Zuko ship is actually totally okay because she’s ~abusive~” 

y’all WHAT. 

ok listen, I get not liking maiko. I didn’t like it when I first got into fandom, and later I realized that while bryke cannot write romance to save their lives, fans who like maiko sure can, so I changed my tune. but if you still don’t like it, that’s fine. no skin off my back. 

what IS skin off my back is taking instances in which Mai had justified anger toward Zuko, and turning it into “Mai abused Zuko.” do you not realize how ridiculous you sound? this is another thing where I get so angry about it that I don’t know how useful my analysis is actually going to be, but I’ll do my best. numerous people have noted how analysis of Mai and Zuko’s breakup in “The Beach” or Mai being justifiably angry with him at Boiling Rock or her asking for FUCKING FRUIT in “Nightmares and Daydreams” that says that all of these events were her trying to gain control over him is....ahhh...lacking in reading comprehension, but I’d like to go a step further and talk about why y’all are so intent on taking down a girl who doesn’t show emotion in normative ways. obviously, there’s a “Zuko can do no wrong” aspect to Mai criticism (which is super weird considering how his whole arc is about how he can do lots of wrong and he has to atone for the wrong that he’s done--but that’s a separate post.) But I also see slandering Mai for not expressing her emotions normatively and not putting up with Zuko’s shit and slandering Katara for “talking about her mother too often” as two sides of the same coin. In both cases, a female character expresses emotions that make you, the viewer, uncomfortable, and so instead of attempting to understand where those emotions may have come from and why they might be manifesting the way they are, y’all just throw the whole character away. this is another instance of people in the fandom being fundamentally disinterested in engaging with the female characters of atla in a real way, except instead of shallowly “stanning” Mai, y’all hate her. so we get to this point where female characters are flattened into one of two things: perfect queens who can do no wrong, or bitches. and that’s not who they are. that’s not who anyone is. but while we as a fandom are pretty good at understanding b1 Zuko’s actions as layered and multifaceted even though he’s essentially an asshole then, few are willing to lend the same grace to any female character, least of all Mai. 

and what’s funny is sometimes this trope will intersect with “I conveniently ship this female character whose canon love interest is one of the members of my favorite non-canon ship with another female character! gay rights!”, so you’ll have someone actively calling Mai toxic/problematic/abusive, and at the same time ship her with Ty Lee? make it make sense! but then again, maybe that’s happening because y’all are fundamentally disinterested in Ty Lee as a character too. 

“I love Ty Lee so much that I’m going to treat her like an infantilized hypersexual airhead!” 

there are so many things happening in y’alls characterization of Ty Lee that I struggled to synthesize it into one quippy section header. on one hand, you have the hypersexualization, and on the other hand, you have the infantilization, which just makes the hypersexualization that much worse. 

(of course, sexualizing or hypersexualizing ANY atla character is really not the move, considering that these are child characters in a children’s show, but then again, that’s a separate post.) 

now, I understand how, from a very, very surface reading of the text, you could come to the conclusion that Ty Lee is an uncomplicated bimbo. if you grew up on Western media the way I did, you’ll know that Ty Lee has a lot of the character traits we associate with bimbos: the form-fitting pink crop top, the general conventional attractiveness, the ditzy dialogue. but if you think about it for more than three seconds, you’ll understand that Ty Lee has spent her whole life walking a tightrope, trying to please Azula and the rest of the royal family while also staying true to herself. Ty Lee and Azula’s relationship is a really complex and interesting topic that I don’t really have time to explore at the moment given how long this post is, but I’d argue that Ty Lee’s constant, vocal  adulation is at least partially a product of learning to survive at court at an early age. Like Mai, she has been forced to regulate her emotions as a member of fn nobility, but unlike Mai, she also has six sisters who look exactly like her, so she has a motivation to be more peppy and more affectionate to stand out. 

fandom does not do the work to understand Ty Lee. as is a theme with this post, fandom is actively disinterested in investigating female characters beyond a very surface level reading of them. Thus, fandom takes Ty Lee’s surface level qualities--her love of the color pink, her revealing standard outfit, and the fact that once she found a boy attractive and also once a lot of boys found her attractive--and they stretch this into “Ty Lee is basically Karen Smith from Mean Girls.” thus, Ty Lee is painted as a bimbo, or more specifically, as not smart, uncritically adoring of Azula (did y’all forget all the non-zukka bits of Boiling Rock?), and attractive to the point of hypersexualization. I saw somebody make a post that was like “I wish mailee was more popular but I’m also glad it isn’t because otherwise people would write it as Mai having to put up with her dumb gf” and honestly I have to agree!! this is one instance in which I’m glad that fandom doesn’t discuss one of my favorite characters that often because I hate the fanon interpretation of Ty Lee, I think it’s rooted in misogyny (particularly misogyny against East Asian women, which often takes the form of fetishizing them and viewing them only through a Western white male gaze)  

(side note: here at army-of-mai-lovers, we stan bimbos. bimbos are fucking awesome. I personally don’t read Ty Lee as a bimbo, but if that’s you, that’s fucking awesome. keep doing what you’re doing, queen <3 or king or monarch, it’s 2021, anyone can be a bimbo, bitches <3)

“Toph can and will destroy everyone here with her bare hands because she’s a meathead who likes to murder people and that’s it!”  

Toph is, and always has been, one of my favorite ATLA characters. My very first fic in fandom was about her, and she appears prominently in a lot of my other work as well. One thing that I am always struck by with Toph is how big a heart she has. She’s independent, yes, snarky, yes, but she cares about people--even the family that forced her to make herself smaller because they didn’t believe that their blind daughter could be powerful and strong. Her storyline is powerful and emotionally resonant, her bending is cool precisely because it’s based in a “wait and listen” approach instead of just smashing things indiscriminately, she’s great disabled rep, and overall one of the best characters in the show. 

And in fandom, she gets flattened into “snarky murder child.” 

So where does this come from? Well, as we all know, Toph was originally conceived of as a male character, and retained a lot of androgyny (or as the kids call it, Gender) when she was rewritten as a female character. There are a lot of cultural ideas about androgynous/butch women being violent, and people in fandom seem to connect that larger cultural narrative with some of Toph’s more violent moments in the show to create the meathead murder child trope, erasing her canon emotionality, softness, heart, and femininity in the process. 

This is not to say that you shouldn’t write or characterize Toph as being violent or snarky at all ever, because yeah, Toph definitely did do Earth Rumbles a lot before joining the gaang, and yeah, Toph is definitely a sarcastic person who makes fun of her friends a lot. What I am saying is that people take these traits, sans the emotional logic, marry them to their conception of androgynous/butch women as violent/unemotional/uncaring, and thus create a caricature of Toph that is not at all up to snuff. When I see Toph as a side character in a fic (because yeah, Toph never gets to be a main character, because why would a fandom obsessed with one male character in particular ever make Toph a protagonist in her own right?) she’s making fun of people, killing people, pranking people, etc, etc. She’s never talking to people about her emotions, or palling around with her found family, or showing that she cares about her friends. Everything about her relationship with her parents, her disability, her relationship to Gender, and her love of her friends is shoved aside to focus on a version of Toph that is mean and uncaring because people have gotten it into their heads that androgynous/butch women are mean and uncaring. 

again, we see a female character who does not emote normatively or in a way that makes you, the viewer, comfortable, and so you warp her character until she’s completely unrecognizable and flat. and for what? 

Azula

no, I didn’t come up with a snappy name for this section, mainly because fanon interpretations of Azula and my own feelings toward the character are...complicated. I know there were some people who wanted me to write about Azula and the intersection of misogyny and ableism in fanon interpretations of her character, but I don’t think I can deliver on that because I personally am in a period of transition with how I see Azula. that is to say, while I still like her and believe that she can be redeemed, there is a lot of merit to disliking her. the whole point of this post is that the female characters of ATLA are complex people whom the fandom flattens into stereotypes that don’t hold up to scrutiny, or dislike for reasons that don’t make sense. Azula, however, is a different case. the rise of Azula defenders and Azula stans has led to this sentiment that Azula is a 14 y/o abuse victim who shouldn’t be held accountable for her actions. it seems to me that people are reacting to a long, horrible legacy of male ATLA fans armchair diagnosing Azula with various personality disorders (and suggesting that people with those personality disorders are inherently monstrous and unlovable which ahhhh....yikes) and then saying that those personality disorders make her unlovable, which is quite obviously bad. and hey, I get loving a character that everyone else hates and maybe getting so swept up in that love that you forget that your fave is complicated and has made some unsavory choices. it sucks that fanon takes these well-written, complex villains/antiheroes and turns them into monsters with no critical thought whatsoever. but the attitude among Azula stans that her redemption shouldn’t be hard, that her being a child excuses all of the bad things that she’s done, that she is owed redemption....all of that rubs me the wrong way. I might make another post about this in the future that discusses this in more depth, but as it stands now: while I understand that there is a legacy of misogynistic, ableist, unnuanced takes on Azula, the backlash to that does not take into account the people she hurt or the fact that in ATLA she does not make the choice to pursue redemption. and yes, Zuko had help in making that choice that Azula didn’t, and yes, Azula is a victim of abuse, but in a show about children who have gone through untold horrors and still work to better the lives of the people around them, that is not enough for me to uncritically stan her. 

Conclusion    

misogyny in this fandom runs rampant. while there are some tropes of fandom misogyny that are well-documented and have been debunked numerous times, there are other, subtler forms of misogyny that as far as I know have gone completely unchecked. 

what I find so interesting about misogyny in atla fandom is that it’s clear that it’s perpetrated by people who are aware of fandom misogyny who are actively trying not to be misogynistic. when I first joined atla fandom last summer, memes about how zukka fandom was better than every other fandom because they didn’t hate the female characters who got in the way of their gay ship were extremely prevalent, and there was this sense that *this* fandom was going to model respectful, fun, feminist online fandom. not all of the topes I’ve outlined are exclusive to or even largely utilized in zukka fandom, but a lot of them are. I’ve been in and out of fandom since I was eleven years old, and most of the fandom spaces I’ve been in have been majority-female, and all of them have been incredibly misogynistic. and I always want to know why. why, in these communities created in large part by women, in large part for women, does misogyny run wild? what I realize now is that there’s never going to be a one-size fits all answer to that question. what’s true for 1D fandom on Wattpad in 2012 is absolutely not true for atla fandom on tumblr in 2021. the answers that I’ve cobbled together for previous fandoms don’t work here. 

so, why is atla fandom like this? why did the dream of a feminist fandom almost entirely focused on the romantic relationship between two male characters fall apart? honestly, I think the notion that zukka fandom ever was this way was horrifically ignorant to begin with. from my very first moment in the fandom, I was seeing racism, widespread sexualization of minors, and yes, misogyny. these aspects of the fandom weren’t talked about as much as the crocverse or other, much more fun aspects. further, atla (specifically zukka) fandom misogyny often doesn’t look like the fandom misogyny we’ve become familiar with from like, Sherlock fandom or what have you. for the most part, people don’t actively hate Suki, they just “stan” without actually caring about her. they hate Mai because they believe in treating male victims of abuse equally. they’re not characterizing Toph poorly, they’re writing her as a “strong woman.” in short, people are misogynistic, and then invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of feminist theory to shield themselves from accusations of misogyny. it’s not unlike the way some people will invoke a shallow, incomplete interpretation of critical race theory to shield themselves from accusations of racism, or how they’ll talk about “freedom of speech” and “the suppression of women’s sexuality” to justify sexualizing minors. the performance of feminism and antiracism is what’s important, not the actual practice. 

if you’ve made it this far, first off, hi, thanks so much for reading, I know this was a lot. second, I would seriously encourage you to be aware of these fandom tropes and to call them out when you see them. elevate the voices of fans who do the work of bringing the female characters of atla to life. invest in the wlw ships in this fandom. drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic (please, drop a kudos and a comment on a rangshi fic). read some yuetara. let’s all be honest about where we are now, and try to do better in the future. I believe in us. 

[fallinglikemagic]

Penny Polendina alludes to Astro Boy - and how this allusion foreshadows Penny’s eventual resurrection

Some of you may remember my first post in which I compared Penny and Astro Boy, with a specific focus on the version of Astro from the 2009 3D animated film (if not, you can read it here, but I'll be repeating everything stated there anyway). In the month or two since I first made that post, more and more parallels have start to pop up, with one of those parallels matching one of our most popular theories and foreshadowing Penny's upcoming resurrection.

In order to write this, I went through and watched the entire film, taking notes as I went. I'm not going to include every single detail that I noticed, only the things that seem the most relevant and can be put together in a single post in a comprehensive manner. Believe me when I say that I've thought about this a lot, and the sheer amount of parallels and connections (and the fact that I'm not the only one to notice these connections) has lead me to believe that this has been done intentionally. 

With that being said, I'm only going to focus on the Astro Boy film from 2009 - the Astro Boy franchise is massive, going back to the first manga coming out in 1952 with a few different adaptations and reboots with different versions of the story, and I just don't have the time to go through all of those. As such, I'm going to be focusing on the movie, due to the fact that it has the highest amount of parallels to both Penny specifically, and RWBY as a whole.

So, let's get into this.

Worldbuilding

Metro City and the Surface - Atlas and Mantle

One of the reasons I've decided to focus on the film in particular is due to the nature of the film's setting. Astro Boy (2009) takes place in two locations - Metro City, and the Surface.

According to the opening of the film, Metro City was created when the people who would become the founders of the city noticed the world changing for the worse, and responded by taking part of the land and lifting it into the sky, creating a floating city - the opening voiceover refers to it as "an oasis, a floating paradise". Everybody else is left behind on what is referred to as the Surface, left to fend for themselves while the people of Metro City largely ignore their existence.

The parallels to Atlas and Mantle are crystal clear. Atlas and Metro City are both set up as a beautiful city above the clouds, meant to serve as an inspiration for the rest of the world. In reality, it's a place where the rich and privileged can live in comfort while shunning the poor. Meanwhile, down in Mantle/on the Surface, people are suffering and struggling to get by. Additionally, both 'surface' and 'mantle' are words that are associated with the ground.

The Blue Core (and the Red Core) - Penny's soul and Maiden powers.

Another concept that is (as far as my research shows at least) unique to the film is the Blue Core and the Red Core.

The Blue Core is a small sphere that is filled with pure positive energy, referred to as Blue Core Energy. It was created by Dr. Elefun, made from the fragments of a star that no longer exists - meaning that the Blue Core is all that's left, and cannot be recreated. This is reminiscent of how Pietro has no more aura left to spare, and thus is unable to give any more of his soul to Penny like he did the first time she died. In this allusion, the Blue Core is representative of Penny's soul and the power of the Winter Maiden.

When the Blue Core was created, there was also a byproduct - the Red Core. Essentially, it's the same thing as the Blue Core, but with negative energy instead of positive. If the Blue Core and the Red Core make contact, they both die - this is relevant later.

You could compare the Red Core to Watts’ virus, due to the way that it causes a robot to have red eyes and that it coming into contact with the Blue Core destroys them both.

Character Parallels

Before I get into this properly, I wanna give a quick side note. While Astro matches up to Penny perfectly, things get a little bit messier with the others in that we have a case of characters taking on multiple roles. However, this is far from unheard of in RWBY - let's not forget about how Blake represents both Belle and the Beast, Yang is sometimes the Beast to Blake's Belle, and Adam is an amalgamation of every antagonistic force in Beauty and the Beast. It's far from uncommon for a character to allude to multiple characters from the same allusion, or vice versa, which is what we see with some of the characters in this allusion as well.

Astro - Penny Polendina

Unsurprisingly, Astro himself is our parallel to Penny.

After the death of his son Toby, Dr. Tenma rebuilds his son as a robot, using the Blue Core as his energy source. The Blue Core is stated to be unpredictable, and it's this that makes Astro who he is, what makes him unique from every other robot. As stated earlier, the Blue Core represents Penny's soul (and the Winter Maiden powers that are attached to it). When the Blue Core dies - and Astro dies with it - and Dr. Elefun is asked if he can be rebuilt, the answer is 'no' because the Core was unique and can't be remade - just like Penny's soul.

While Astro appears perfectly human on the surface, he's fitted with as much self-defence technology as Tenma could fit in him. The most iconic of these upgrades (and the only one that's consistent across every single version of Astro throughout the franchise) is the rocket boots. He even flies in a very similar way to Penny - pay attention to the posing, especially with the legs.

When Astro starts making friends with humans on the Surface, he conceals the fact that he's a robot, afraid of what they'll think of him when they learn he's not human. This matches up to Penny initially hiding the fact that she's not human, seeing herself as 'not a real girl'.

Astro has two father figures - Dr. Elefun and Dr. Tenma. Similarly, Penny has two father figures - Pietro and Ironwood.

During the climax of the film, Metro City starts to fall out of the sky and back down to the Surface. This is a parallel to two seperate moments in RWBY. The most obvious one is when Atlas is falling onto Mantle after the Staff of Creation is used. However, I think this scene more closely resembles the scene from Amity in which Amity Tower begins to fall.

When Astro sees that Metro City is falling, he immediately flies in to hold it up, despite the incredible strain it puts on him. This is a direct parallel to how Penny flew in to hold up Amity Tower.

Astro pushes himself to the limit when he holds up Metro City, to the point where the flames from his boots burn so brightly that they turn blue - oh hey, doesn't that look familiar?

Astro also demonstrates self-sacrificial tendencies at a few points in the film. When he's captured in order to have his Blue Core taken out and placed into another robot, he simply accepts it, saying that "I think maybe this is what's supposed to happen...this is my destiny". This becomes a lot more interesting when you remember that the Blue Core is representative of Penny's soul and Maiden powers. Astro giving himself up to President Stone (the film's main antagonist who later ends up in a sort of 'fusion' with the Red Core) so that Stone can use the Blue Core could be a reference to the virus making Penny want to give herself up to Ironwood so that he can use her soul to open the vault - especially if we believe that the Red Core is connected to the virus in some way.

Near the end of the film, in the fight against the fusion of President Stone and a giant robot containing the Red Core (it's a long story, I'll get to it later in the post), Astro makes the decision to sacrifice his own life in order to destroy both the Red Core and the Blue Core, saying “this is what I was created for” and saving the lives of everybody else in the process. I doubt I need to explain how "choosing to die in order to protect other people" relates back to Penny in Volume 8.

At the end of the film, and in the rest of the Astro Boy franchise as a whole, Astro takes it upon himself to be the protector of Metro City (and technically the Surface, but since Metro City has fallen, they're not exactly seperate locations anymore...). 'Robotic guardian of a city who's seen as a hero by the people' - you don't get much more obvious of a connection to the Protector of Mantle than that.

Additional details that may not be intentional but I still noticed anyway;

- Dr. Elefun describes as Astro by saying "That robot had more humanity than most of us". At this point, there's been many moments that affirm Penny's humanity - "You have an aura, Penny. A soul. That's who you are - our friend. Not a machine", "Her soul is who she is", the fact that she was able to receive the Maiden powers, all of these moments affirm that Penny has always been just as human as anybody else. This is also contrasted against Ironwood (and, for a while, Winter), who act more machine than human.

- Astro is actually rather heavily trans-coded. Penny is also trans-coded, but this is mostly likely a coincidence that happened as a result of the inherent transness of robots

- Elefun tells Astro that he's "not actually an entirely ordinary boy", which is reminiscent of Ruby describing Penny as "she's...not your typical girl."

- The shape of Penny's bow (the way that it sticks out more on one side while the other side is more vertical) looks similar to the shape of Astro's hair (this one was pointed out to me by @cosmokyrin​ when I mentioned this theory in the Frosen Steel server)

Dr. Elefun - Pietro Polendina

Dr. Elefun is one of Metro City's top scientists, and one of Astro's father figures. He is soft-spoken and gentle, a dreamer but a genius. In terms of personality alone, he's a pretty good match with Pietro. He's also the one who created the Blue Core, which draws a direct parallel to Pietro creating Penny's soul from part of his.

Dr. Elefun is the first person to truly see Astro as who he truly is. Dr. Tenma expects Astro to be a replacement for Toby, and is disappointed when he isn't. Similarly, everybody else sees Astro as a robot just like any other at first - an advanced robot, but nothing more than a robot. But Dr. Elefun gives him genuine praise, and encourages Astro to live his life and find his place in the world, just like how Pietro tells Penny that he wants to see her live her life.

It's also worth noting that in most other versions of Astro Boy, Elefun takes the role of Astro's primary caregiver after Dr. Tenma no longer wants him.

President Stone - James Ironwood

President Stone is the current political leader of Metro City. For the entire film, his entire focus is on combat and military strength, and on multiple occasions he actively expresses his intention to start a war with the Surface. He believes that the best way to get re-elected is with a show of military force and violence.

His primary goal throughout the film is to have Astro destroyed in order to retrieve the Blue Core and use it for his own gain. This is a direct parallel to Ironwood's goal in Volume 8 - to hunt down Penny and have her use her Maiden power to open the vault, and destroy herself.

Stone wants to use the Blue Core in order to power a specialised combat robot, ironically called the Peacekeeper. When Astro continues to escape his clutches, he decides to use the Red Core to power the Peacekeeper instead, but it doesn't completely go as planned. The Peacekeeper is equipped with what the film calls 'adaptive technology' - it's capable of absorbing anything it makes contact with into its own body.

And I do mean anything

After Stone is absorbed by the Peacekeeper, he's in full control of it - essentially the Peacekeeper is nothing more than a metal outer shell. President Stone has become a fusion of man and machine.

Dr. Tenma - both Pietro Polendina AND James Ironwood (a bit more Pietro than Ironwood but it's worth acknowledging both)

You might notice that while Elefun and Stone do have plenty of references to Pietro and Ironwood respectively, there are gaps where they don't cover every aspect of these characters and/or their dynamic with Penny. This is where Dr. Tenma comes in.

Dr. Tenma is Astro's dad, and the one who built him. He originally created Astro as a sort of 'replacement' for his biological son Toby after he died, giving Astro all of Toby's memories (more on this later). Naturally, this is a very clear connection to Pietro.

Additionally, Dr. Tenma uses the Blue Core - a completely unique, one-of-a-kind technological marvel - in order to power a single small robot that's intended to be nothing more than a replacement for his son, saying "I can't lose him again!". In this moment, Dr. Tenma is so focused on not losing his child that he doesn't acknowledge the big picture.

However, once Dr. Tenma realises that Astro isn't a perfect replica of Toby, but rather his own person, Tenma discards him, not caring if Astro gets destroyed or not. Similarly, when Penny stopped doing what Ironwood wanted her to do, Ironwood stopped caring about her as anything more than a container for the Maiden powers and is perfectly willing to let her die once the vault is opened.

Luckily, Dr. Tenma does have a change of heart, deciding that while Astro isn't Toby, he's still his son. Near the end of the film, Astro is very injured, and Dr. Tenma encourages him to get far away from the danger. However, Astro refuses to back down, instead choosing to sacrifice his life in order to stop President Stone, despite Dr. Tenma begging him not to go. Here, we have yet another parallel to this moment in Amity.

Bonus (aka characters that aren't perfect allusions, but connections do exist)

When Astro ends up on the Surface, he's taken in by a man who calls himself Hamegg. Hamegg ends up being a jerk, and while his personality and actions in the film don't particularly match up with any characters in RWBY, his backstory is a perfect match to Watts - a head scientist in Metro City who was shunned and fired for reasons unknown (Hamegg claims that they were 'intimated by his ideas and talent', but this was when he was trying to impress Astro and he lies a lot anyway, so this could be a complete lie).

On the Surface, Astro befriends four human kids (Cora, Zane, Sludge and Widget) and their robotic dog, Trashcan. While the personalities don't really match up (though Cora, Astro's closest friend, does bear a visual resemblance to Ruby), the idea of a 4-person group + a dog could be a parallel to Team RWBY and Zwei.

Zog is a very old, very large robot that had been 'dead' for several years until Astro found him and revived him by giving him some of his Blue Core Energy. Zog is our allusion to Winter - Astro giving Zog some of his Blue Core energy is a parallel to Penny giving Winter the Maiden powers. Additionally, in The Final Word, Winter explicitly calls herself a machine. While this does have significance on it's own, it could also be a nod to this allusion. That being said, the main connection between Winter and Zog (and possibly the most important part of this post) is based on events that have yet to happen in RWBY canon, and so I'm saving that part for the end of the post.

Story Parallels 

Toby's Death

Toby Tenma, Dr. Tenma's biological son, was very similar to Astro in terms of personality (with some key differences), as well as having a strong physical resemblance.

When the Blue Core and the Red Core were first being shown off to President Stone, Toby was accidentally locked behind a sealed off barrier, trapped with the Peacekeeper containing the Red Core. Toby was killed in a blast that completely disintegrated him, leaving nothing but a hat containing a single strand of hair.

This hair is important, because Dr. Tenma used this hair in order to extract Toby's DNA and memories, which he was then able to implant into Astro in order to make him resemble Toby.

This scene is most likely a parallel to Penny's first death in the Vytal Festival. In her first death, Penny's body was destroyed, but her core remained intact. Her core, which contained all of her memories, was the key piece in properly putting her back together without erasing who she used to be. The strand of hair containing Toby's DNA is representative of Penny's core containing her memories.

Additionally, there's the fact that when Toby was rebuilt as Astro, he was given various upgrades to allow him to better hold his own in a fight, with the most obvious behind the ability to fly via rocket boots. Penny received similar upgrades when she was rebuilt as well.

It's worth acknowledging that Toby's death could potentially parallel the moment that Ambrosius separated Penny from her robotic body, with the strand of hair instead being her soul, separated from her dying body and then disintegrating. However, due to the timeline and order of events, I think that Toby's death is more likely to be a parallel to Penny's first death, and her separation from her robot body is instead a parallel to the next scene I'm about to mention.

Momentary Death

When Astro is captured by President Stone and taken back to Metro City, Dr. Tenma actually does remove the Blue Core from his body, which does cause Astro to temporarily die.

Luckily, it only takes a few moments for Dr. Tenma to change his mind and return the Blue Core to Astro, reviving him.

Astro's 'soul' was removed from his body, causing that robotic body to die, even though in the end Astro does survive it. This is reminiscent of Ambrosius removing Penny's soul from her robotic body, letting that body die, while Penny survives.

Zog

I briefly went over Zog earlier, but I wanna go into more in-depth about him, because the parallels between Winter and Zog and the implications of said parallels are the main reason I ultimately decided to make this post.

As I said earlier, Zog is a very old, broken down robot that nobody has been able to revive in years. When Astro finds him, he brings him back to life by giving him some of his Blue Core Energy. Astro essentially gives Zog some of his lifeforce, a part of his soul.

Winter was on the verge of death at Ironwood's hands, but Penny was able to save her by giving her the Maiden powers, and her soul with them.

However, Zog doesn't keep all of the Blue Core Energy Astro gave him all to himself...

Resurrection

As I've mentioned a few times in this post, Astro does die - and I mean properly die, not a death that lasted 2 minutes at the most and had no consequences. Astro sacrifices himself and his Blue Core dies, all in attempts to protect the people of Metro City/the Surface and his friends. Dr. Elefun says that he can't be rebuilt because his Blue Core, his soul, was unique.

But then, Zog comes around. Zog, who is holding onto what is a part of Astro's soul - the only surviving part of Astro's soul. Zog returns some of the Blue Core Energy to Astro, which brings Astro back to life.

So, to recap: Astro gives a part of his lifeforce, part of his soul, to Zog. When Astro dies, Zog gives some of that soul back to Astro in order to revive him.

If you've been looking at the theories regarding Penny and Winter recently, this will sound VERY familiar. While the specifics vary, the essentials of the most popular theory is that Penny transferred her soul to Winter to hold on to along with the Maiden powers, and that somehow, Winter will return that soul to Penny in one way or another (either by putting her into another robotic body, or just somehow extracting her soul and letting it form it's own body again). The fact that this movie has these exact events occurring makes this seem more and more like the most likely route.

If Penny really is an intentional allusion to Astro Boy - which, based on the sheer length of this post, seems pretty damn likely - then the film practically spells it out for us. Winter will give part of her aura, the part that Penny gave her, in order to bring Penny back to life.

thank you for coming to my ted talk

[etheriadearie]

I'm still reading you latest awesome essay but I wanna point out before I forget in the process: Shadow Weaver as you said used Adora as a puppet against Catra, and then almost immediately Light Hope does the same by using fighting simulations that are designed to make She-Ra comfortable into killing Catra and "letting go"

:: Adora and the darkness within-

Hey! Thanks so much for the kind review! And thanks for bringing this up, because you're exactly right. It not so cute like it seems- (Adora becomes completely useless in s2ep1 the second Catra shows up ☺️- turning her sword into a coffee mug and then a flute!? lol!!). That said, the meaning behind Adora's training is indeed something that's actually very scary to watch...

But it couldn't possibly be like that, right? After all, Adora wouldn't really do it, because when she puts her sword to Catra's throat in White Out, Catra then flirtatiously teases her...

.. Sadly, that's not the end of this, Adora does internalize to this brutal conditioning after all. (spoiler warn ⚠️) Adora thinks of herself as a solider, and does continue drilling hard on the idea of killing Catra. And, she almost does so- if you don't know to what I'm referring, it has to do with the one other 100% canon SPOP source material- I'll cover it below in the spoiler section.

Just... know that Adora really does internalize this concept-that she must kill her best friend as part of her 'destiny' (more later.)

It's this belief in 'destiny' by which Light Hope is still able to continue to manipulate Adora, even after she refuses to leave her friends behind, to "let go". Destiny is a concept that's so important to Adora's perception of self value that Light Hope uses it against her, towards the goal of her evil purposes, and of getting Adora to "let go." If Light Hope can get Adora to kill Catra, that's a whole lot of 'letting go' all at once. It would have broken Adora, she never would have recovered. It's so terrifying.

Where does this belief that Adora must do anything to fulfill 'destiny' come from, why is she so concerned with it that she stops thinking any further? Why must it be Adora's burden to do this horrible thing ?

For instance, we know Adora does show wisdom by refusing to leave her friends behind- she's not willing to give in to Light Hope's idea that she should seclude herself in the woods. Adora knows that something isn't right with Light Hope. And yet, isn't Catra also Adora's friend- one which she hurtfully turned against to enact a false destiny, much like how she played favorite to their abuser in the Horde, and whom Adora is now plotting to kill ?

What's really going on is something that's very ugly- despite the cute overtones to lighten the mood. Light Hope is using Adora's sense of duty against her to get her to potentially do something that's very hurtful to herself, and to the person who loves her most. What's so wrong with Adora's 'destiny', that she's got to kill someone she loves? How can that be right, is the only answer for this that war is terrible, or is the war on Etheria even what we think it is, or is it something different? And, is Adora killing Catra for it the right choice ?

Why- that's the big question. Why is it Adora's, or She-ra's, job to save the Princesses from the Horde? Why does Angella feel the need to make this Adora's burden? Could the Rebellion really not have done it themselves, or did they just give up out of grief? As Catra says in s5ep9: "Why does it have to be Adora?"

Like Catra says in s5- this is exactly right: all throughout SPOP, nothing about Adora's situation is right, or fair... it never was. Everyone is just forcing their burdens on her... and she ends up a desperately anxious person because of it.

And it's all a lie, a set up to make Adora fail- just like Mara did.

Like Mara, Adora was "never meant to succeed. They made a plan for" (..her) -it's history, all over again, and everything Adora thinks she's doing for 'destiny' and to end the war is part of this lie. That includes the 'destiny' as Angella describes it for her: it's just another likely set up: "I know the legend of warrior of the one the First Ones called She-ra, they said she would return to us in the hour of our greatest need to bring balance to Etheria". How, exactly ? By winning the war at any cost ?

This is also almost certainly a myth started by the First Ones to prepare the next She-ra for failure, as part of their plan to use the weapon. A deception purposefully implanted within cultural beliefs, meant to further enable their betrayals- Light Hope and the First Ones never had any intention of bringing balance to Etheria, they only wish to use the weapon. And again, why is it Adora's job to save the rebellion from the Horde???

Angella and the rebellion gave up on that all on their own, back when Adora was just a small child. Also... keep in mind that Shadow Weaver was allowed to run to the horde, where there was no accountability for her crimes and where she had complete control over little Adora and Catra, which she used to abuse the heck out of them. Considering how the Princesses gave up trying to fight the Horde when Adora was but a small, defenseless child, why is this war supposedly Adora's burden?? There's nothing fair about it.

We see Adora's legitimate feelings of pain, anger, desperation, and sorrow from how she's been forced into her position- everyone is hurting her with their burdens. It puts Adora in a constant state of anxiety, and her feelings of frustration and anger at this is well deserved.

And yet... what's so interesting about Adora's situation is that her anger towards Catra is perhaps the least deserved: even though Catra is fighting against her in a war which is wrong. Adora might feel mad at Catra for refusing to follow her as she enacts her beliefs in this false 'destiny', and Catra instead makes doing so harder for Adora by fighting back against her, and yet, Adora's not even doing the right thing in the first place as her entire destiny is a lie to use her as a weapon. Catra simply refuses to just accept her friend as this person who just turns on people who mean something to her, supposing evil upon them all while making no effort to understand them any deeper. Adora really is doing the wrong thing by enabling Light Hope's evil... and she can't even see it...

Well... in short, what Angella told Adora about her 'destiny' seemed to make sense- and so she went with it. It's not so much that Adora is naive as that they all are- Angella is naively playing into the First Ones deceptions, too. Adora is supposedly there to "bring balance" through 'destiny' by saving them from the Horde. So, for 'destiny', she assumes that she must be willing to do whatever she has to win that war- she has to hurt Catra...

Deception, and more deception- what even is the war on Etheria ? Where does Hordak even come from, other than Light Hope purposely crashing him on Etheria to set a conflict? It's a cruel war that likely started with the First Ones purposely bringing Hordak to Etheria, and it's not Adora's fault that the rebellion couldn't deal with Hordak- she was a small child when the rebellion fell apart. And, Adora's agreeing to win this war at any cost is a bridge too far... if she were to kill Catra, the damage to her own psyche... it would be beyond comprehension. When we see her talking to Light Hope in s2ep1, we finally get to see how Adora is all kinds of hurt by Catra's refusal of her, she's all broken up inside: "she's in my head". Catra wasn't supposed to be Adora's enemy: Adora couldn't realize this, and she made her one by essentially giving in to the prejudiced views of the rebellion.

Long story short, the war isn't quite what we think it is. Instead- who, really, are She-ra's greatest enemies? Next to Horde Prime and the First Ones, Hordak hardly even measures...

Adora's biggest enemy, as She-ra, is, in fact, the First Ones: and we know that because of Mara. We know Horde Prime must have existed as a threat in Mara's time, yet Mara considered her own people, and the weapon which they created, to be so much greater an enemy that she gave up everything to stop them. And just like Mara, what the First Ones want to do to Adora is so evil it outweighs anything having to do with the war on Etheria- the entire planet is at stake if Adora doesn't wake up to the reality of how the First Ones intend to use her for their evil...

What the First Ones did was always the original betrayal..

... this original betrayal is the reason for everything to do with Adora's situation- it's why she becomes She-ra, but also why she does ends up in Shadow Weaver's care, who wanted to use Adora's power for her own benefit and abused her because of it. It's all to do with the original betrayal of the First Ones by bringing her to Etheria to be part of their weapon...

But, Adora is a soldier, she's been trained to expect violence as a necessity of solving problems her entire life, and so she has a really hard time realizing that the entire concept of this belief is wrong and that she's being manipulated. Light Hope uses her belief in 'destiny' and false belief in duty before all else, including love, to control her- as a soldier, Adora does what she told (within reason) because what Light Hope tells her is what she expects to hear. Light Hope tells her that killing Catra will help end this war and fulfill her 'destiny', so she drills the moment of killing Catra to do it. But what hurtful act is too much, what price is too high, what cost to her own morality is too dark? How terrifying it would be for Adora if she actually did kill Catra...

So, here's the warn for LotFP spoilers 🚨🚨 -more good discussion is yet to come- and I promise not to spoil anything more than necessary for you folks-

💞🏳️‍🌈🌹

(..If you really don't want spoilers, now's your chance)

So... Adora does actually make the decision to try to kill Catra.

In LotFP, it's obvious that Adora had continued drilling the idea of killing Catra, over and over, with Light Hope following White Out. Because- like in White Out- Adora gets a chance to hit Catra- and this time she doesn't hesitate.

Adora consciously attempts to kill Catra. Keep in mind that Adora still had no idea how to heal at that point. Why does Adora try to do that, and what makes her believe she has to do it?

(*p.s- I won't go over how LotFP happens after s2ep5, but if you've been wondering when it took place- yup)

The rebellion may talk a cute game around being more 'humane' with war... but, that's mostly Bow. When it comes to it, both Glimmer and Adora at times choose actions that cross the line into the downright sinister to end the war- no act is too dark for them. Adora comes terrifyingly close to killing Catra because of it...

Luckily for Catra, in the moment of Adora's brutal confusion over her being conditioned to take Catra's life, Catra finally has someone in her life that will take care of her, and Scorpia steps in to protect Catra.

Scorpia then rightly tells Adora off for her continued, out of control, bloodlust towards Catra, willing to murder her friend for what turns out to be an evil destiny, anyways. Catra was never planning to take things that far- she only tries to bring Adora low, or capture her... and to force Adora to confront how naive she is. Why should Adora bear such a burden of the war, at such potential emotional cost to herself and to Catra's life?

The result is that Adora ends up suitably chastised for her actions in LotFP, and you can start to see a change in her behavior following it in s3ep3-ep6: she's realized she can't just kill Catra. She also begins to realize that Light Hope has been manipulating her, and that she's been living a lie.

Unfortunately, Adora's actions before this realization comes at a cost: SPOP is very clear about consequences: it leaves Catra desperately afraid after seeing the love of her life constantly trying to kill her. Each time Adora sees Catra following Promise, 3 times in total, she ends up trying to kill her- unwittingly during the Battle of Brightmoon, possessed during White Out, and then as a conscious decision in LotFP. Is that acceptable behavior ?

This cruel behavior Adora so hurtfully has towards Catra for false destiny sets up Catra's biggest mistake and her following mental break down:

Catra desperately looks elsewhere for any kind of support- the person she loves wants to kill her... and Hordak is being hurtful and threatening her. So, Catra decides to try to get Shadow Weaver to help her. After all, why not- nobody can be THAT evil, right??? She must have SOME humanity...

That's a mistake, as Shadow Weaver is all bad, and all that Catra gets for trusting her is more horrible emotional wounds and so much more damage that by the time Adora sees Catra in s3ep3, she's one bad hit from totally losing her mind. And the hit comes... and she does... and Adora simply cannot reach Catra through her grief and her anger.

Even though Adora changes her behavior towards Catra in s3ep3-ep6- showing deference for her past mistakes, love for Catra, humility, Catra is too far gone to hear it- she only sees protecting herself from further harm at any cost- that includes pulling the switch and winning the war. It was how she was going to finally be safe...

Everything proceeds to fall apart, so much chaos ensues. One thing that's so scary about Adora's behavior is that it shows she was fighting while having no idea where her line was: what action was too much, too sinister, in service of her 'destiny'? She didn't really understand her own feelings, her own darkness.... and if Adora had taken Catra's life... it's real scary to think about. Fighting without knowing your own moral beliefs and convictions is always scary, it was scary to see for both Adora and Catra.

And so, by the time Portal happens... there's not much Adora can do for Catra. She's too hurt to hear Adora's pleas of love. All she can really do is ask Catra to be better, to heal herself. As Adora says:

"You made your choice, now live with it!*

*WOMP*

She's right, Catra can't live with herself- she's been corrupted by her grief and her fear- and in s4 we see as Catra's anger begins to break down into something else.

Catra is stuck in a downward spiral, and at least Adora is always trying to be better, even if she didn't know what that really is. Can we say the same about Catra? No not really.

One last appreciation-

Scorpia is a good, smart, interpersonal person, she realizes Catra's needs, she protects her like no one else ever has, including Adora. Yeah, Catra doesn't really deserve her, (also- Scorpia was always Catra's best source of healthy emotional support, something Catra should have worked harder at accepting), but it's really good for people like Catra to see someone show care for them, besides. And, Scorpia also stops Adora from doing something she herself never would have recovered from.

Hooray for Scorpia! Hooray!! Without her, no kiss, no saving the universe. Hooray!! for Scorpia!! She's the best- 🖤♥️🤍

Happy 1 year anniversary to Catradora kiss!! 🎉🏳️‍🌈 💞🎉🥰

Everything in SPOP is always a team effort. Scorpia deserves Adora's gratitude, after all, Scorpia saved Catra from Adora's own hurtful confusion. How scary it is that Adora came so close to taking the life of her future lover... 😥

Thanks as always for a like or a ✨✨✨rebloggg✨✨✨ and let me know if you have questions or concerns! I will gladly answer them-

With Love,

~EtheriaDearie

::Here's a link to the original post to which this refers- all links are on tumblr

🥰 Got time for one more fast and fun read about Catradora love to help the author out? Check on this quick read-💞🏳️‍🌈

LotFP = Legend of the Fire Princess

Here's the total list of more reading if you'd like to read more 🙂 -

[brekker-by-brekkerr]

You know what gets me?

The way people act about show!Mal and the changes made to his character. Some people get so bothered by the fact that Mal is more likable in the show and how it brought more people to the book ship. I generally see the opinion held that "show!Mal is fine. You can stan show!Mal if you want. But that's only because they had to take out every toxic thing of his from the books."

I want to unpack why this is actually kind of wrong.

First, let's look at what they changed from the books. They got rid of him sleeping with Zoya, they got rid of the palace fight with Alina, and they made him a lot more devoted to her in the beginning of the story, where he seems to be somewhat aware of his feelings for her, versus in the books, where it takes him a while to catch on. They also add more scenes from their past.

But the only real changes I see to Mal's character are the I-have-feelings-and-am-going-to-chase-your-carriage-down part. I still stand by the fact that overall, he's mostly the same person, we're just getting to see his side of things. But the things they chose to delete/change...weren't inherently bad things?

Like the Zoya thing. So a teenage guy isn't allowed to be attracted to people? Or the palace argument-the fact is, he's spent this entire time thinking Alina was in trouble, being hurt or tortured or whatever, and he's been fighting for his life, literally, just to get back to her. And he lost his best friends, the only other people in his life, in the process. This post does a better job of discussing this than I ever could.

And then when Alina and Mal are together, searching for the stag, Mal apologises for his mistakes. He's come to understand why some of his actions were wrong, where his behaviour was coming from, and the fact that he hadn't been appreciating Alina for a while. And then he gives one of the most beautiful speeches I've ever seen in any romance, and we see that Mal really does appreciate Alina for who she is now, and it's not because she has powers or is popular now, but because he understands how important she is to him, how wonderful a person she is, and he apologises for waiting this long to acknowledge it. Because she's the person he wants to turn to when he sees something random, because he loves hearing her voice, because she's his family and his world and someone he's come to love and damn he's an idiot for finally freaking realising it when it was too late.

All of his mistakes throughout the book--understandable mistakes, mind you, especially for a teenaged boy--he owns and makes up for.

As for the scenes from their childhood that they added...they don't exactly change anything about Mal? They just expand upon the canon to strengthen their relationship, which is good writing, and something there wasn't as much space for in the books (especially since people already complain about them being too romance-centric as-is).

So why did they have to change these things? Is it because book!Mal really was that bad and the show writers knew that, as many claim?

No, I don't think so. It's because Mal isn't allowed to make mistakes.

Think about it. Show!Mal is virtually perfect. Like literally, name some flaws this boy has other than just being literal chaos who doesn't always think things through (*cough cough* jumping on a ship full of Grisha and armed guards to shoot the Darkling point blank). That's what it takes for people to accept his character. Him being literal perfection.

Here's the thing. The Darkling, and Darklina, have to be compelling and sexy and all of that jazz, because that's part of his character and part of what Leigh was trying to do in writing them. You know, the whole hey this guy is sexy and charming and he's using his power to abuse someone, but hE's SeXy sO iT's FiNe thing. And, no matter how you try to write it, even as you balance the Sexiness™ with horrible acts like forcing a collar into someone's neck and taking away their consent, people will still be pulled to that relationship.

So what about the ship you want to be canon? It's going to be less popular or liked to begin with. Then, heaven forbid, the other love interest has flaws?? And he has to grow as a character?? Bleh. Disgusting.

Readers were unable to accept Mal for the chaotic, flawed, seventeen-year-old boy he was, so the show writers had no choice but to upgrade him to Mal the chaotic embodiment of literal perfection.

And, as a side note, since some people get so twisted up over the fact that Mal got "character upgrades," let's not forget that they also upgraded the Darkling into this soft boy who cries over Alina with this puppy dog love.

The popularity of both ships benefited from these changes, Darklina even more so than Malina, yet people are so bothered by Mal's changes?

Whatever. It's fine I guess.

Just give Malinas a break and stop asking us to act like Mal's the devil incarnate and we're all just blind to it. I have reading comprehension skills, thanks. I know what I read.

[defdaily]

THE STAR Magazine April 2021 Issue featuring JAY B

Translated by defdaily.

GOT7’s eternally sincere leader JAY B. A friendly interview where you can feel his warm-heartedness.

*This interview was done in informal language to give off the feeling of two friends chatting*

It has been a while since we last met for GOT7’s feature in 2017.

Right, hi. I’m JAY B. Nice to meet you. Have you eaten?

JAY B has been chosen to be on the cover of THE STAR’s 8th anniversary issue.

Dobby is free now. (Laughs). I’m a freelancer now but I still can’t believe the fact that I was chosen to be on the cover of THE STAR’s anniversary issue. I’m so thankful to THE STAR for choosing me to be on the cover so I worked extra hard during the shoot.

How are you doing these days? We’re curious to know what you have been up to.

A freelancer’s daily life is always similar. I work when there is work and rest when there isn’t. I was busy recently organising this and that to release GOT7’s digital single ENCORE. I took the lead and there were many things I needed to figure out such as paperwork. So I was very proud. The members have all joined agencies but I want to take a little more time and think about it carefully before choosing. I’m still a freelancer.

Does the freelancing life suit you?

I don’t know if it suits me but it’s fun. Now work-related calls come to me directly, so I would be asleep then receive a call. I’d go “Ah I fell asleep for a moment, sorry. What is this about?” (Laughs). Since I do even these kinds of small communications myself, it’s nice and fascinating to realise the value of work and opportunities. If I didn’t have this time and experience, I think I might have not realised the value of work as much. I used to be on edge at times when the managers used to tell me things in the past. But now that I’ve learnt how much processing has been done before the information reached me, I feel sorry. Now I have a heart full of gratitude for opportunities.

I don’t know if it’s because you’re a freelancer now, but you seem much brighter than before.

Dobby is free now. (Laughs) I’m joking. Of course it was very helpful having a company. But now that I do everything myself, I feel more satisfied. I enjoy it.

The GOT7 members have all started solo activities. It must not have been easy for everyone, how did you come to your decision?

Right. It definitely was not easy. The seven of us researched a lot so that we can continue as GOT7 together. But then we thought that we should broaden our view so each of us could end up in a better situation. In the process, what we each wanted changed a little and, there is a future that each person dreams of right? The company said we did everything we could do on our part and that they will cheer us on in the future, that made me feel proud. We are also very thankful to the company. I felt that we received a lot of protection under a large umbrella. After all, the company is like the mother that gave birth to GOT7, so I’m thankful to them and respect them. I also thought a lot and looked into a lot of things about how to continue as GOT7. I also went to the president and asked him for advice, and I greeted and thanked Jinyoungie hyung for everything.

While preparing for new activities, what was the thing most discussed amongst the members?

“So what is it that you want to do?” “So what do you want to do?” We asked that a lot. So everyone said “We have to do it" So I asked again “No, not 'I have to', but do you want to do this? Or do you not want to do this?” If you are going to do something, you should do it properly, right? If you are not going to do something with an active attitude, I think it’s better to not do it. So we all came together and decided to give it a try.

It’s clear that you are GOT7’s leader.

One advice the company president told me was that my talent and effort as a leader starts now. Personally handling matters related to our recent digital single, I felt this “Taking the lead as a leader, I need to really work hard.” There was a lot of pressure, but if I don’t do it, who would. It pushed me to work hard.

You mentioned very clearly in your social media livestream that “GOT7 did not disband.” I felt your affection towards the team, what does GOT7 mean to JAY B?

One extremely important thing in my life. Actually, it’s an indispensable part. I’m thankful for the fact that our team exists. You have to know that because GOT7 existed, we individually exist too. It wouldn't matter if my beginning was as a solo, but my beginning was as GOT7. That's what made me who I am now.

How is Lim Jaebeom different as JAY B within GOT7, JJ Project, Jus2 and ØFFSHORE?

Comprehensively they’re all sides of me but if I have to split them, they would be a novel vibe versus an essay vibe. ØFFSHORE and Def. are all about music I like, regardless of genres, and honest stories I want to tell. As for GOT7, JJ Project and Jus2, we would have a particular concept and make it a bit more fancy.

Most of the songs you have shown on SoundCloud are R&B genres with a groovy feel. Have you ever had a conflict between music you want to do and music you have to do?

I felt that I needed to work harder to prove [myself] to do what I wanted to do. I can’t always be spoon-fed. To prove [myself] I made more GOT7 tracks and sent around 15~20 demos. Later on Jinyoung hyung and the president acknowledged me and said “Jaebeom will take care of the musical aspect. You can trust him with that.” I felt really proud hearing that. I don’t really feel a sense of conflict between the musical differences. From pop and R&B to folk and modern rock, I don't want to draw lines between genres and make music that sounds good.

We are curious about the music JAY B will show alone and what you’ll pursue. What stories do you want to tell?

I want to do a variety of things. Alone, I think I will try mixing genres and do things that are fun and experimental. I can also do R&B pop or Urban genres which I’ve originally liked. But that might change later on.

Is there an artist you’d like to collaborate with in the future?

Someone with a pleasant tone to listen to. Even now, when I listen to music and I like the artist’s tone, I send them a DM asking if they’d like to collaborate. And Korea's top hip hop artist, IU-nim. Do you think it's possible? (Laughs).

Then would you like to send a message to IU?

Suddenly? Um… I will work very hard. If by chance you think my song is alright, I would love for you to add your nice voice to them. (Laughs)

An appearance that may seem cold with a tsundere charm. But what do you think your real personality is like?

I’m the type that is quiet and calm, but people close to me tell me I’m a weird person. When I cry reading a book or watching a movie, or when I get emotional they say “It’s so weird, it doesn’t suit you.”

Are you the tender type?

I think I just often get hit by waves of emotions.

We’re curious about the lifestyle you seek and your values.

To live each day without any regrets.

Is there a place you’d like to visit after COVID-19 ends?

Kyoto, Japan. It’s a place where there is a lot of Japanese heritage and it’s also pretty.

Recently you have combined your two Instagram accounts @jaybnow.hr and @def.cnvs, what was the reason?

I’m the one doing everything after all, it is just the musical name that was different. I can’t split my body into two. I realised I could combine them into one account and just show the difference within it. And as I get older, it’s hard to manage two accounts. (Laughs). Was I too honest? Now I'm confused about what's what.

Was there any other moment that made you feel old?

I don’t do much and my whole body aches. In the past, my body wouldn’t get affected by the weather. Now when the weather is gloomy my back hurts and my knees go numb. (Laughs).

I can see that you’re interested in artistic aspects such as photography, painting and fashion etc. Do these things influence your music?

Of course. They affect the way you live in itself. I’m a person who wants to express and leave behind what I feel. Calling myself an artist feels somehow cocky.

What are you interested in recently?

It’s not art but I’m interested in moving around. Living as a freelancer, I spent more time lying down at home, but now I need a fast-paced daily life. I try to wake up in the morning to eat breakfast and nutritional supplements then go outside to photosynthesize and soak in the world. Everyone has to keep moving. (Laughs).

Are you interested in fashion and lifestyle curation and design etc?

I don’t think I’m a person who dresses up exceptionally well, but if someone asks I’d be willing to help.

What would you introduce as JAY B’s preference?

Freedom. Regarding fashion too, I liked vintage and grunge styles but recently I’m interested in work look and amecage styles. My preference keeps changing. I can't define myself clearly either, but I like the sense of being free.

What inspires you?

Many situations and people, my experiences as well as indirect experiences.

How do you have an indirect experience?

Watching movies and reading books. Nowadays I read song lyrics and unfold the scenes in my head. I try to think of various points of view in these one-act plays.

To JAY B, love is?

Nonexistent. A moment. I don’t know. As you live life, I think falling in love is a momentary emotion. If it lasts long, I think it’s affection not love. I'm a person who has to talk about love, but sometimes I wonder if it’s okay to feel this way. There are also many different forms of love. The love that my parents give me and the love that my fans send me. I’m thankful for everything.

While promoting for 10 years, what was the happiest moment and most lacking point?

I feel like every moment until now has been somehow lacking. Whenever you look back you end up thinking “I should’ve done better back then.” I think everyone feels that way. But I never regret those times I’ve spent. The happiest instance was when I spotted my parents at a fanmeeting and ran to them and held them while singing. It felt like I was boasting to my fans “These people are my father and mother,” and it also felt like I was showing my parents how I was receiving that many fans’ love and support. I'm thankful that the fans looked at my family happily at that moment.

Have you ever had a slump?

I don't think about something if I think I'm going to fall into something serious, but I'm the type who gets stressed out to do something new.

You are loved not only in Korea but also abroad, have you ever thought about why your fans like you so much?

A lot. I just don't understand. I'm not even popular among my friends... Why on earth?

Think of at least one thing.

Maybe it’s because I worked hard steadily? To be honest, during the past 10 years I have never not tried my best on stage. I can say this with confidence. I’m thankful to be able to do what I like as a job. I have told the members about this previously, I’m sorry for not being affectionate to fans onstage. It’s my nature so I can’t help it. But I have never been indifferent as a singer onstage, that is a fact.

Your bucket list that you surely want to achieve this year?

Being healthy mentally and physically. Since the members have started their solo activities this year, I think I should release an album as well.

Any words for the readers?

Everyone, I’m not saying this as a formal greeting but I really want to say thank you. Hmm… How should I put this? Don’t worry since we are not disbanding. That’s why I tried hard to release the digital single. Continuing on I’m going to try my best to do as much as I can. You might feel disappointed at times along the way, and I apologize in advance for that. But what I can promise is that I’m going to do my best. Thank you so much for supporting me for 10 years. You all know this already, but I’m not so good at things like sending hearts and saying thanks affectionately. I just want to speak sincerely. Thank you so much. I hope everyone will be more happy, not just because you like and support us… I could sound arrogant saying it like this but... I hope our fans are sturdy people who will find their own small sources of happiness in their daily lives even if that isn’t us. And I hope everyone is happy. I’m so thankful and I want to ask you to trust me.

Lastly let us know your future plans.

We will try our best to match our times and do GOT7, JJ Project and Jus2 etc. no matter what. Even if our times don’t match somehow, we’ll try our best to gather even 4 or 5 people and return, so don’t worry. And Dobby is free now. (Laughs). I will do my best in everything. I've made a lot of songs and I'm diligently working on songs right now too, so look forward to it. You’ll be able to listen to it soon. Thank you. This has been GOT7 JAY B. Please give lots of love to The Star’s April issue!

Translated by defdaily.

[ready-to-obeyme]

[OM!] All Demon Brothers + Undateables as Babysitters (Part 1)

Scenario: For the sake of the exchange program (probably), the entire cast is now in charge of taking care of kids ranging from infants to pre-K children at a daycare with you. Headcanons on what type of babysitter they would be + whatever cute shenanigans that may occur

Note: Baby fever!! Inspiration is the entirety of Gakuen Babysitter/School Babysitter. It is literally the cutest anime I have ever watched in my life and I highly recommend it if you want a cute feels-good, slice of life!! Some of the kids I may have based off of them, but you don’t need to watch it to understand this! :))

why do i always make my headcanons so long

Part 1 has the 7 Demon Brothers

[Part 2] has all five Undateables

--

Lucifer

This was probably Diavolo’s idea so he has no choice but to go along with it, much to his dismay

He already thought humans were fragile, and now they were going to take care of the smaller, younger ones? 

His face scares 90% of the kids on his first day as a babysitter, which kind of hinders his job because every time he tries to help them clean up or change diapers, the kids start crying 

The other 10% who are not intimidated by him claim him to be the Big Bad and play fight with him all the time, and considering his attitude, he’s a pretty perfect villain in their make-belief play so he’s won their hearts IMMEDIATELY 

Generally a pretty strict baby-sitter who is listened to without having to repeat himself; his power and authority is unyielding (and also he’s just plain scary even if he doesn’t mean to be, and lowkey he likes the power he has because the kids remind him of Mammon sometimes) 

It’s honestly a big debate whether he should just give up and ask for help or power through, but if he’s just babysitting with you, pleads with you to please help him because he’s so lost and why do they scream so loud and not that he would ever admit to it, but he is a tiny bit hurt that he can’t seem to have the kids trust him

Once he’s told that he should smile more and speak more gently, he implements it with mixed results (at first), but it’s a significant improvement from the first few days

During a moment of rest, he’s sighing when a baby crawls up to him and sits in his lap without warning, and he’s a goner 

Literally has the hardest time trying to train his face not to look so pleased or happy, but his smile is so soft (and he will not hesitate to kill any of his brothers that see him like that, but for you and the undateables, he’ll just be embarrassed) 

Loves infants and how trusting they are of him despite how scary his face may seem sometimes-- the epitome of unconditional love and he’s just… very tender

Probably ends up being the respected babysitter who’s super cool to all the kids but slightly unapproachable (unless you’re a babyyyy) but eventually climbs the ranks in terms of babysitters because he vouches for them if they do need him

Mammon

The kids have decided that he is the biggest kid on the playground and now to assert dominance, they must beat him up

Which is what they do-- or as much as they can with their tiny fists and miniscule strength and the fact that Mammon is a literal demon

You just stare at Mammon as he cries on the ground, whining at how the kids ganged up on him and you’re just like…. They’re literally <4 years old. 

Despite that part, Mammon gets along with all the kids really well!! 

He talks to them as normal and calls them ‘brats’ but they all know he’s soft for them so they kind of take advantage of that? But only a little bit because they don’t like seeing Mammon cry either

You forget who comfort the other more at this point, the kids or Mammon

Mammon is the best person to call for if the kids want to play around because he’s pretty animated himself and goes along with whatever the kids want to do 

You might have to reign them in a little yourself, because you’re not quite sure Mammon really knows what’s actually dangerous for them

“Mammon, please only carry one kid at a time please, you’re scaring me”

“Huh? You know I can carry all four of them on my head--”

“Please”

Suuuper popular with the kids even though he kept complaining about them to anyone who would listen that he had to look over these tiny humans

But the moment any of the kids ask for his help or do something cute, he’s the FIRST one to go and help because ‘you need the GREAT Mammon’s help? Guess you can’t help it after all…” and he just likes the fact that he feels reliable to these kids

He might… actually save money to buy these kids Christmas gifts?? Will maybe cry if they bring little Valentine's Day candies (that their parents probably told them to give but shhh let him dream)

Leviathan

May or may not be hyperventilating as he hypes himself up to go into the daycare and meet the kids

He tried to brush it off to his brothers that they’re just kids and he doesn’t care if they like him or not because it doesn’t matter to him because he’s just an otaku-- but my god he hopes they like him 

Little does he know, the fact he lets them play on his game consoles (whether or not they actually know how to play) wins them over immediately and breaks the ice

They find him super interesting to talk to and he ends up a pretty popular babysitter because he talks to them like adults (yes, even to the babies) 

Catch him giving a bottle to a baby while talking to them in baby-voice (that he adopts not on purpose) about his favorite TSL season 

One of the biggest reasons why the kids love him is because he really listens to them even though their rants and blabbing doesn’t always make sense

When he does talk about his interests (or it slips out, as it does), the kids are genuinely interested in what he has to say and that’s when his mission to convert all of these kids to watching anime and reading manga started

“Reading manga is going to help them develop reading comprehension!!”

Probably brings his entire stash of (kid-friendly) manga-- probably the magical girl anime with Ruri-chan-- and has the kids dig in 

It does have some negative repercussions because kids aren’t exactly good at handling precious material, so things do rip and break and Levi had to excuse himself to go outside and mourn his lost

But the fire of his mission burns brighter than the sadness over what he has lost (besides, he would never bring limited edition/1st edition things outside his room so these things are replaceable) 

If Halloween rolls around, the kids will exclaim that they want to be [insert character] from TSL or another anime and Levi may shed tears of happiness right there and then

Will make it his side quest to make costumes for ALL the kids-- especially if they can’t afford their own and will encourage them to be whatever they want to be!!!

He’s literally leading an army of newly-created weebs/otakus that look up to him in the daycare and the power he has over these kids is so formidable some of his brothers are actually a little jealous HAHA

Satan

Acts casual about the whole thing and is actually casual about it

He hasn’t necessarily spent much time with kids, but he figures he’d be able to do it-- and he’d be right; considering how natural he is with people in general, I doubt kids would be much different, especially if he talks to them like adults and respects their opinions 

Is definitely the type of babysitter some of the kids end up having a little baby crush on, considering how charming and prince-like he can be with his gentle tone of voice 

Not that he’s perfect-- some kids are just brats and he does get angry at them but he only needed to snap once before the troublemakers all learned not to mess with him

Despite that, he would most likely be the ones to keep an eye on the troublemakers, because it may be a sign of a troubled home (not always, but… well, he would know best, wouldn’t he?) and he’d want to reach out to them if he can help them in any way

What he loves to do with the kids-- and you can probably guess-- is have Story Time!!

The kids are so excited to circle around him before naptime and listen to him read storybooks, doing voice overs and dramatic/animated readings; the kids are so intently listening and giggling at the funny parts

At first, he attempted to bring all his books over to the daycare, but he had to put some back when you tell him these kids are literally three and probably don’t have the reading comprehension required to read Quantum Physics-- so he provides picture books instead; anything he procured from the human world

Really encourages the kids to try their best to read and, if he has the time of day, tries to teach them basic things like the alphabet, how to spell out each words etc (you may call him…. Sensei) 

Adores their imagination too because he knows adults could hardly compare at times and he encourages them to make up their own stories and he’d help them write it down 

Uses a lot of tactic like these to encourage their education and their development-- he loves books and the impact they’ve made on him and he wants these kids to be able to experience the same things

Asmodeus

A little hesitant at first because kids can be super cute and great for pictures but… they can also be super gross and kind of mean; and he’s seen both ends of the spectrum so he’s not really sure what to expect

Then one of the kid compliments his hair clip shyly and shows their own similar hairclip and he’s sold because obviously they have the cutest kids in the world

Hair undone? He’s there

You wanna try out painting nails? Oh hun, he’s got you-- free make-overs for EVERYONE-- except maybe the infants, he doesn’t wanna ruin the natural baby smell and softness they have going for them

He wants to encourage ALL the kids to express themselves so he sometimes brings old clothes he doesn’t wear anymore so they have a fashion show/runways

ALWAYS encourages the kid to wear what they want because gender norms who???

If ANY and I mean ANY parent comes up to him and talk about him letting them wear non-gender conforming clothes he WILL go off on them because they are LITERALLY KIDS-- let them express themselves and have fun

Kinda grossed out by snot and diapers tho so you’re gonna have to help him with that; and since the universe knows that he hates getting dirty, he’s probably the brother most likely to get peed on while changing a diaper

You have to force him back into the daycare after that incident because he refuses to come out of the bathroom after changing into clean clothes 

But he is so captivating that the kids usually don’t cause trouble when he’s around, and also similarly to Levi, he talks and listens to them blabber while he’s doing their hair so it’s always pretty soothing 

Probably ends up in charge of the creativity hour and cooing over everyone’s art project, encouraging them to sprinkle as much glitter as they want, use as many colors as they want-- as long as it makes them happy! 

Beelzebub

Considering he’s the sweetest and physically the strongest, he’s actually pretty concerned about hurting them, and asks you to help him adjust to this new role so that the kids will be okay (you know he’ll be fine, but if saying yes to helping him will make him feel better, you say it)

Beel keeps to himself as a babysitter for the first few-- oh idk-- hours before some of the kids figure out how STRONG he is and he’s the best thing since sliced bread

The kids start to literally hang from him, testing how strong he really is, and are all delighted that he can hold all of them in and from his arms; he’s a little worried he’ll drop them, but since the kids are so excited about it, decides to lift them only a little high just to please them

Happily, he eventually gets used to knowing how to deal with them, and it helps that the kids are so polite to him

He’s the ultimate Big Brother figure to them, much to his surprise since he’s used to being the younger brother, and it makes him really soft inside that these kids actually look up to him and rely on him 

During free play, he has definitely carried at least six kids on his back when they play horsey and not break a sweat and throws the babies up in the air playfully (and carefully) and let them pretend they were flying

He’s their protector, making sure that they’re playing safely, even though he went a little too ham on the protection, grabbing a kid by the scruff of his collar because he was running and beel was afraid of him falling and scraping his knees

“It’s okay Beel, they can handle it--”

“Are you sure?? But they’re so tiny and fragile--” 

Changes diapers pretty handily after the first time; has definitely tried the baby formula and ate the entire bottle by accident before feeding a baby

Makes sure the kids are nice to each other, especially siblings, and that they eat; you tell the kids that if they eat their vegetables they’ll grow as strong as Beel, and that’s the FASTEST you’ve ever seen picky kids eat them in your LIFE

Belphegor

“Alright, nap time, everyone!”

“Belphie, they just arrived;;;”

Honestly just thought this entire thing was a hassle because kids in general take a lot of work and he just doesn’t want to put that sort of effort into something he didn’t sign up for

But since you’re there, he may as well try to be proficient enough to be well-liked enough to not cause a fuss and be able to babysit with you

He’s the type of babysitter who converses with the kids and pretends he doesn’t know something so the kid tries to teach him-- and honestly this give the kid a chance to be confident in their skills and also lets Belphie not do as much work to keep the conversation alive so win-win

As you can probably guess, is definitely in charge of enforcing nap time… by napping with the kids-- gotta learn by example right?

There are probably mats that the kids lie on but whenever Belphie lies in the middle of them, they all end up rolling and curling near his side; when he wakes up he’s always surrounded by a sea of kids and he’s so confused and he can’t move unless you wake up the kids for him 

The most efficient babysitter out of all of them because efficiency means less effort and time taken to change a diaper, clean up a spill, or wipe a kid’s nose 

Doesn’t understand why the kids keep wanting to interact with him but he’ll always indulge them in the end regardless of his nonchalant attitude

He actually finds a lot of them endearing when they talk about the things they like to do and about their daily life because it’s always interesting to learn about their perspective on things

When it’s creativity hour, the kids like asking him to doodle something on their paper (it can be a small chibi or caricature or just some animal) and it always makes them super happy; you watch him crack a smile as he sees the kids try to copy his drawing right next to it

If any of them are interested in stars, will gently show them the constellations in books and watch as they fascinate over them as he did before

[twonderland]

Hello!! Could I request some headcanons of the dorm leaders with a female crush who's like a Disney princess (really good singing voice, extremely compassionate to all, animals loves her, etc) please and thank you!!

Aww ! A cutie pie girl in NRC 💖💖✨

DORM LEADERS REQUEST

🦁 At the beginning he was a little bit stressed with you for different reasons, 1) he couldn’t relate nor understand your uninterested kindness, normally in Savanclaw the guys were such an assholes, that was the normal environment .... but then you came all cute and gentle , he doesn’t know how to manage you

🦁 The time passes and he gets your persona, you are the cutest little thing he has ever known. Of course (because of his initial insights of you) he doesn’t want to and refuse to accept that he may ... have a crush on you but well, love is love and this big cat is not escaping it

🦁 Anyone that knows him for some time like Ruggie would notice how his way of talking and even moving around you changes, he flirts shamelessly since he LOVES your cute face get all red like a tomato. Overall, he has a lot of fun teasing you and also listening to your beautiful voice he pretends to be asleep but nah he’s not 💖💖💖 also , pet him, pet this boy for god’s sake, he adores your smooth hands on his ears 🙌🏻✨ (maybe this is part of this “princess charm” that you have that keeps his tail moving and making him purr like a kitten on your lap)

♥️ Takes your kindness pretty well ... on the surface. He has been taught how to talk to a lady but actually never put that knowledge on practice, you may catch his hands on his back whenever you talk to him he’s trying to stay calm playing with his fingers

♥️ One time you fell asleep on one of the gardens, resting your face on the surface of a table with some tea cups in front of you. You were exhausted after helping Cater with some stuff, and decided to take a break ... you fell asleep. - what is she doing ? Its not allowed to sleep in common areas- he thought but before he could awake you one butterfly rested on your head, making the sight something beautiful and magical

♥️ “...J-just this time” he couldn’t afford to ruin this moment, some time later he approached Trey to ask him “do you know anyone who’s magic allows them to take photos ? Like cater ?” Trey is like dude just use a phone 😂 leave him alone, he’s like a grandpa sometimes and only wants to admire your cute face whenever he wants

♥️ The first time that he asked you for a date it was a sight to behold (he said that it was a practice for the next unbirthday´s party but you know what’s happening) you are so gentle and comprehensive that he gets to a point where he relaxes and enjoys your conversation a lot, you relax him and blushes at the thought of holding your hand... maybe a red rose could be a good start for you to acknowledge his feelings for you...

🐙 It captures his interest the fact that in your first visit to the Atlantica a lot of fish and other sea creatures appeared to liked you, following you everywhere you went and also making some cute tricks to make you giggle. -maybe she had some kind of special magic that allows her to captivate animal’s attention- he thought, but then again you are a human... no magic, so what could it be ?

🐙 In octavinelle all the students have this clever yet malicious personality that allows them to trick other people, getting what they want making their “clients” fall in traps, so when Azul sees your sweet personality he tries to read your way of “tricking people” only to discover that that was the real you with not second intentions

🐙You are the only person that he truly opens up besides the eel brothers, he sincerely wants to become a stronger person and thinks that with your help and positive aura he can achieve that, also expect him to show you his most clingy and cry baby side 😂💖

🐙ADORES YOUR VOICE pls sing more for this octoboy 😂 he also likes to make covers with you and make duets, one day you made such a beautiful duet that even Vil praised you. The way that he develops feelings for you is through time, he knowing that you are indeed a beautiful person inside and out and he relying on you, but also teaching you lots of things ! Azul is a really clever person after all

👑Intrigued to say the least, if you are a pomefiore student then Vil would find out your abilities like singing, baking (maybe ? 😂) and having an aesthetic sense really quick, but if not, he would see this features once he starts to ask for your help in different tasks

👑 Your beauty is a fact, no doubts there. Not only in the exterior, but also you have this “I don’t know what” thing that makes the pomefiore students go behind you not just to appreciate your beauty but because your personality is so refreshing !

👑 Not gonna lie, he may feel a liiiitle bit of jealousy for some time, but after seeing that you don’t have any interest in taking “his throne” Vil calms down and becomes something like a mentor. He wants to exalt your beauty at the maximum level, you accept everything he does to your face and clothes since you only wish to make him happy but in the process ... he falls in love 💖

👑 Imagine him talking about your interests, points of view, memories etc etc. while he does your make up, your hair and outfit. He gets to know you and also to admire the beauty of a beautiful soul

☀️ PARTNERS IN CRIME you two are inseparable, the positive energy that you emanate is like the sun, it almost made blind a lot of scarabia students including Jamil

☀️ Laughs, smiles, singing, dancing. Do you remember that Kalim also LOVES animals ? He likes to take you to see his tigers, exotic birds and taking rides on the camels and the magic carpet. Jamil has scolded Kalim too many times since he comes back to scarabia too late after taking night rides with you “hehe, I’m sorry Jamil, is only that the time flows like air whenever I´m with (y/n)!!! “ while Jamil perks one eyebrow, realizing his master’s feeling even before himself.

☀️ You are the typical couple that everyone thinks that is in a romantic relationship but in your minds you are friends, this little questions like “I thought you were dating” or “you two look cute together” made him starting to think about you in a different way. Kalim the sunshine he is, doesn’t want to bother you so he keeps it to himself.... for some minutes 😂. The doubt is there and he NEEDS to tell you, he’s scared, nervous, doubtful BUT he needs to know how you feel as well.

☀️ Tríes to take your relationship to another level, now, every time he takes you to the aviary he has flowers for you, he invites you to dinner but the atmosphere is more ... romantic. Those kind of hints also make you start to see him on a different light and with time ... the love surges 💖💖

💀 His crush is almost instantaneous 😂 the first time you saw him it was because Crewel asked you to bring some papers to Ignihyde so the dorm leader could give them a look. After some time you manage to get to Idia’s room, where you knock the door not 2 or 3 but 5 times before coming in, you couldn’t return to your dorm with those papers on hand

💀 The light was off and shyly you said “i-is someone here ? Idia-San ? ... I’m turning the lights on...” the next thing you saw was an otaku’s scared face at the other side of the bedroom enrolled with blankets and a plushie

💀 he thinks you are ethereal and just... perfect. You are kind, gentle, doesn’t judge him, actually appreciates and likes to talk to him and beautiful. At first is intimidated by you for being a girl. Pls take your time with this guy, he will open up once he detects no danger around you You being the kind person, and Idia the being unable to survive without someone telling him that he actually has to eat three times a day and getting at least 6 hours of sleep, you take good care of him (ORTHO ADORES YOU). Idia’s not a baby and actually takes care of himself after seeing your concern. He´s so grateful for you being at his side in good and bad times.

💀 Invites you to play video games with him, watch anime, talk about everything and anything. When Idia gets comfortable his voice is way more smooth and fluent, he’s that kind of people who you can totally rely on and will ALWAYS be there for you. He blushes easily around you, fantasies with the day when he can tell you about his feelings and with ZEUS BLESSING get your “yes”

🐉 Dragon boy didn’t know what was like having a crush, so it took some time for him to actually understand what was this weird feelings he had towards you, just let me remark that Malleus haven’t had any friends in his life, let alone a partner, so your relashionship develops slowly but is one of the sweetest ones in the entire world 😊💖

🐉 The first thing you are gonna have is an unconditional friendship, you show him lots of things and he shows you his incredible magic, the way his world works, etc. he had a crush on you already but he’s just so lost 😂

🐉 “Lilia, I ... have had some weird thoughts about (y/n)” to what Lilia answered “Mm? Such as ..?” He doubted for a second, but Lilia being in fact his “dad” and the only and mostly decent source of help Malleus had, he continued

“....kissing her”

Silence

“Wait wha-“ “also embracing her, dancing with her, singing for her, having night walks with her, also taking care of Gaogao Draco-kun with her, sleeping with her, also-“ 

“ I think I understand Malleus 😅”

🐉 AGAIN lets take in mind that he’s from a different species which means different courtship rituals, so once he understands the “human way” to court you expect him to clumsily, awkwardly but in a intensely adorable way to recite some poems for you, I like to think that Malleus (having the age he has and living for so long) has a talent for writing poems, stories, etc. His face is stern but you can tell how nervous he is for his trembling voice, also acting way more like a “gentleman” for you, which is nearly impossible since he has always been a sweetheart to you ☺️💖

Thanks for your request

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

[jadoue1999]

The X-Men and the member they lost - Chapter 3

Summary: What do you get when you mix Hayward and the Xmen? A pissed off Erik that's seriously trying to not murder the man!

Previous parts: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, 

Chapter 3: The Maximoff Anomaly

They had settled in fast. The older man that had intercepted them was called Hayward. He seemed very distraught at their arrival and made them go into an unused building. The director hadn’t listened to their protesting, he preferred having them out of the way. For what ever reason, Erik wasn’t sure. They soon realized that time worked differently in this universe. While they had already seen the episode and moved on, it had just ended as they arrived. Charles had told him with amusement that Hank would go crazy over the possibilities. Thankfully, the bunker contained televisions that monitored the town and the broadcast. Hayward had deemed necessary to make sure only people close to him knew of their arrival. They were all sitting around a table when he demanded their story. Charles spoke up. “We’re not from your Earth,” he started.

The director had looked at Kurt with a raised eyebrow, “I had that much figured.”

The professor continued, “two weeks back, one of our members went missing and the broadcast was all we could find. Our universe seems to be ahead of you with the episodes, but we are behind in years.”

“How so?” Questioned the woman sitting next to Erik.

“To us, it’s the eighties.” Charles waited a few moments, letting the people around some time to understand. “We come from a world where people are born with mutations, Kurt here can teleport.” The teenager looked at the professor, silently asking for permission to show his powers. Charles nodded and the blue mutant teleported from one side of the room to another. Hayward seemed shocked as the rest of the people gasped. Charles continued, “this is Raven, she can shapeshift.” Erik smirked as Mystique changed into a perfect copy of the director, making him jump out of his chair in surprise. She turned back into her human form and watched with amusement as Hayward slowly sat back down, eyeing her with caution. Probably seeing how unsettled the agents were, Charles decided to end this quickly. “I can personally read mind and Erik can control metal.”

Erik rolled his eyes as the military people looked at them with wide eyes. He wasn’t going to demonstrate his powers; he had done enough of that with Shaw. The team seemed to get the message that there would be no more demonstrations and moved on.

“So,” said the lady next to the director, “why are you here? Other than the broadcast.”

“Oh well, like I’ve mentioned before, we had a member of our team go missing.” The professor wheeled himself close to a screen and rewound the episode to when Peter appeared. “You see this young man? This is Peter, we had no clue where he went. We watched the broadcast in hopes for answers and we finally found him. Though in a tighter spot than we’d expected, but he does have a knack for trouble.”

Erik smirked at the joke; the speedster had always found himself in the strangest place at the wrong time. He was basically a magnet for trouble.

The director broke the silence. “So, this is not Pietro Maximoff?”

Erik shook his head, deciding to speak up at last, “no, he is not your Pietro, this is Peter Maximoff; my son.”

Hayward seemed surprised that someone other than Charles had spoken. “Is he like you all, enhanced?”

“Yes, he is a mutant,” answered Raven, clearly uncomfortable about the man’s tone. “He has superspeed.”

The director closed his eyes and sighed before turning to his colleague. “Bring the files concerning the Maximoff anomaly, they need to know.” The woman nodded and left the compound. He turned to the other members that hadn’t done much but gape at them and ordered them out. Apparently, he didn’t want people to witness what was about to happen. That left the man alone with the X-men. “Look, I get what you people can do, you barge in and act on an impulse; fix what you think is a threat and leave the rest of us to deal with the mess you leave behind. You might think you’re right, but this is my base.” Erik tensed up at the man’s words, this speech being all too familiar. “I don’t want you meddling in my stuff, Wanda Maximoff is a threat that needs to be dealt with no matter the price. You can go get your friend after.”

It was now official; he hated this man.

Though, before he could show him just how much he despised him, his colleague came back. She didn’t react to the lack of personnel, perhaps she had been expecting it. She was holding a significant number of files and what seemed to be a tv remote. Hayward thanked her and opened a file labeled ‘confidential’. It showed a picture of Wanda. Only she seemed younger, and her hair were a dark brown; there was also a man with bleached blonde hair at her side. They were in a crowd of people, their faces twisted in rage as they seemed to yell to something the picture didn’t show.

“This is Wanda Maximoff, back when she joined a Nazi base and accepted to be experimented on. This is how she got her powers.”

“Director, with all due respect, I believe your thoughts betray you,” interrupted Charles, to the man’s frustration. “I think it’s important to complete your statement and precise that she didn’t know what she was getting herself into.”

Erik secretly praised his friend and his telepathy; Hayward was obviously trying to antagonize the woman. It was obvious they now had to take his version of events with a grain of salt.

“Yes...” grunted the director, obviously upset about being caught in a lie. He pointed to the other man in the picture, “this is Pietro Maximoff, Wanda’s twin, the real one. He too had superspeed.”

He switched on a screen that was flatter than any television Erik had ever seen. It showed Wanda and Pietro in what appeared to be a lab. There was a sort of casket all plugged in with tubes. The pair seemed to be arguing with two older men. There was no audio, so their discussion didn’t make much sense. Suddenly, a blue blur raced through the lab, removing all the tubes in mere seconds. The blonde man stopped next to the casket looking thing and threw the last tube on the floor. It was strange, seeing another version of his son. Their powers were very similar yet very different. While Peter’s trail was silver, Pietro’s was blue, he also left some blue energy lingering in the air. It lasted a few seconds as he stopped before it disappeared. From the few dates in the documents and video, this Quicksilver seemed to have developed his powers only for a few months. It was probably why he seemed to be a little slower than his son. Hayward spoke again.

“The twins were working against the Avengers, those in charge of defending our planet. There was an army of robots threatening to destroy the world, they had sided with the robot in charge.” He glanced quickly at Charles. “They eventually changed sides, but Pietro didn’t survive.”

The footage changed to show a man and a child trying to take cover as a trail of bullets grew nearer. Suddenly, they were out of harm’s way and the speedster was in their place. His shirt was riddled with holes that quickly soaked with blood and he fell to the ground, dead. Fear seized Erik as he watched the man fall to the ground; momentarily seeing Peter in his place. Would a similar thing have happened had Mystique not disguised herself as one of the horsemen?

Hayward continued, showing footage of Wanda fighting in a group against other people, explaining how this event had led to the Sokovia accords, which was nothing more than a differently named mutant registration act. Except this one was actually approved. She had refused to sign and went into hiding, only to resurface when a titan had attacked the Earth. He apparently needed something called infinity stones, one of which was in Vision’s head. From the next chain of event Hayward told them, the titan had apparently succeeded in retrieving the stone. The real mystery was how the Vision was back to life; the director insisted that it was Wanda who resurrected him. She had been blipped, like half of the universe, and had came back grief stricken and ready to do anything to have a perfect family life. She had taken an entire town hostage and made them into her puppets. There was no telling what she might do to achieve her goal. Apparently kidnapping an alternate universe version of her brother wasn’t out of her reach. As Hayward continued telling them about Wanda’s life and what she had done, Erik had only one pressing thought: just how powerful was Wanda?

“How many people are in this town?” Wondered Charles.

“A little more than three thousand. They’re not all casted as roles, most are simply background characters.”

The wheelchair bound man nodded in comprehension. “Have you identified them all? Warned their families?”

He shook his head. “I believe it’s in everyone’s interest if we keep this low, we don’t want to alarm anyone. Especially when the world just came back.”

“You idiot,” raged Raven, “if they can’t reach their loved ones, they will ask questions. They will panic. Your logic is awfully flawed.”

“This is not your dimension, you don’t get to tell me what to do,” argued Hayward, clearly annoyed with them. “I will try to urge the identification process, but you people stay here. I don’t want more superpowered people and their associates getting in my way.”

With that, the man just left the place, followed by his colleague. Whether it was intentional or not, they left their documentation behind. Erik took one of the many files from the pile and opened it. This one described Vision’s origin and whereabouts until he had been destroyed in-

“Charles,” he said, not taking his eyes off the numbers. “This here says that the android died in 2018, five years ago.”

“We traveled 40 years in the future?” Said Kurt, understandably a little overwhelmed by the situation.

Raven put a comforting hand on the teleporter’s shoulder before looking at her friend. Her eyes showed how the situation affected her just as much as it did them. He didn’t blame her; Erik wasn’t sure if he truly grasped the gravity of the implications yet. For now, he preferred to focus on Wanda and her past; the more he knew about her, the better of a chance they’d have to retrieve his son safely and unharmed. The later wasn’t looking too hopeful. From his own experience with mind control and the co-worker’s reaction to being awoken, Peter would likely have a long and painful recovery once he would be back to himself. He just hoped that the differences between their timelines meant that he hadn’t been controlled since he had gone missing. Perhaps, by some luck, he would have arrived a little before he appeared on screen. He didn’t let himself think of what the speedster could have endured before being put under the woman’s spell. Especially if he had been her puppet for the entire two weeks he had disappeared.

“Erik,” interrupted Charles, “I can hear your concerns and I can assure you; your son is a fighter. His mutation is a natural telepath repellent, he’ll be just fine.”

The man smiled at his friend’s words, momentarily comforted. But then, a terrible thought creeped into his head. “Then tell me, old friend, if he is so immune; what horrible torture would he have to go under, so that his mental shield would be lowered enough for him to be vulnerable?”

The silence that followed his statement seemed to confirm that no one had even considered how Peter could be controlled in the first place. They had been too panicked at seeing the young man on the screen and then focused on getting to him to even think of the logic of his newly casted role.

“B-but he’ll be alright,” stammered Kurt, his tail anxiously twitching behind him, swinging, and curling unto itself. “He���s Peter, he always comes out alright.”

Charles smiles weakly at his student, “of course he will, Kurt,” he reassured him, “but we will have to give him time to heal and let him do the first steps when he’ll be ready.”

Erik shared a worried look with Raven, the professor seemed hopeful that the speedster would turn out fine, but he didn’t seem to realize how ahead he was thinking. They were on a military base that had studied for nine days this seemingly all powerful being that didn’t let you in without her consent and a rewrite of your life. And they hadn’t gotten far. From what they had learned, Peter would not be free of Wanda’s control unless she herself brought down the dome. But how could a grief-stricken mutant with powers never seen before just give up what she perceived as the perfect life she deserved?

...

They had stayed up late, learning about Wanda’s past and being horrified at what she had to go through. Erik wasn’t sure how he felt about the woman. She had gone through awful events, a struggle similar to his own. He did feel pity towards her, but he couldn’t look past the fact that she had his son playing her twisted game. The group had eventually settled down for the night, sleeping as good as they could without beds or blankets. They were suddenly awoken by some agitation on the base. Charles stared off into the distance before turning to his team, “Hayward has kicked off people from the base that were being disrespectful to him, now he’s coming our way.”

Indeed, barely fifteen seconds after he had spoken, the director opened the door. He seemed annoyed. “I’m just here to tell you that a new episode should air in the next twenty minutes.”

The blue teen looked at the man, “what happened outside just now?”

His question apparently wasn’t a welcome one since Hayward clenched his jaw in frustration. He answered nonetheless, “I got rid of nuisances. Nothing that concerns you or your team.”

That shut the boy up, but Raven stepped in front of him protectively. “You don’t get to talk to him like that, or to any of us.”

The director narrowed his eyes at her. “You should be thankful,” he snarked, “I could have you all arrested and locked up for the rest of your days, along with your little friend. Yet I haven’t even told anyone about your presence. I’ve been more than benevolent. So, I suggest you watch your mouth.”

Rage built up in Erik, he had heard these words so many times from government figures that disguised their hatred by saying what they could have done but didn’t. The metal bender was well aware that men like him wouldn’t hesitate to sell them out for a raise. What he didn’t appreciate was the way he threatened to imprison Peter as soon as they would get him free from Wanda’s control. Erik felt the metal in the man’s outfit and forced him closer, bringing him at his level. A sliver of fear was seen for a split second in Hayward’s eyes and a feeling of satisfaction crept into his chest. That man was a coward. “You listen to me,” he growled, “we can take out this base in seconds if we feel like it. I’ve seen your kind before, you crush others to rise in rank, but deep down you’re scared. You’re terrified because you’re aware that you are nothing. And if you drop your facade even for a second, they will see you for what you truly are. So, you take out the competition before it even has a chance to realize its potential. But guess what? You’ve met your match because I see you for what you truly are.” He paused as he stared into the man’s eyes. It was a competition of stares that lasted for a few seconds. Erik’s unwavering gaze pierced through the man’s pitiful attempt at intimidation without much effort. Finally, he let his grip go and kept his ground as Hayward took a few steps back. “Here’s a deal, little man, stay out of our way and we’ll stay out of yours.”

The director glared at him and then switched to the other people in the room, probably wondering if the threats he had said had a chance of becoming reality. Whatever he concluded, Erik didn’t know, but the man left the room fuming. The room was silent for a few seconds before Charles wheeled himself closer. He was about to speak but the metal bender beat him to it. “Don’t try to reason with me, old friend, that man had it coming. I only spoke the truth.”

The bald man shook his head. “Yes, you are right, and I don’t blame you for this, but perhaps threatening the director of the base we’re staying in wasn’t the greatest idea?”

Before he could argue, Raven intervened, “I think you did good. It’s been a while since I had seen one of your Magneto speeches; that Stryker knock off deserved it.”

He snorted at her comparison; Hayward was very similar to their own impersonation of the anti-mutant feeling back home. Kurt seemed a little unsettled by Erik’s speech. But he didn’t have time to make sure the teen was alright. Suddenly, the television in their little bunker flickered on; a new episode was starting. They all scrambled to sit down as the screen showed one of the twins running around with a camera in his hands. The upbeat intro song was echoing through the room.

‘Wanda!

WandaVision!

Don’t try to fight the chaos

Don’t question what you’ve done

The game can try to play us

Don’t let it stop the fun’

He opened the bathroom door, showing Wanda brushing her teeth; she also had rollers in her hair. She closed the door with her magic and Tommy ran downstairs to Vision who was reading the newspaper.

‘Some days, it’s all confusion

Easy come and easy go’

Erik watched the screen anxiously as the family members were shown, what would she make her son do?

‘But if it’s all illusion

Sit back, enjoy the show!’

The twin went in the kitchen, their neighbor was looking in the fridge. After a distasteful close up of the woman’s behind, Tommy was now headed for outside.

‘Let’s keep it going

Through each distorted day

Let’s keep it going

Though there may be no way of knowing

Who’s coming by to play’

A blur came out from the house and Erik’s stomach twisted as his son appeared on screen. He was wearing a grey and black shirt and jeans shorts. He briefly stopped in front of the camera and pulled his tongue out like some sort of rock star. He ran out of the shot and came back holding the long-haired twin under one arm. The screen froze to simulate a family picture being taken. The logo ‘WandaVision’ in red and yellow hues.

“Pietro Maximoff as himself?” remarked Raven unimpressed. “Really?”

Erik didn’t react to her voice; he was all too focused on his son. While he didn’t seem that different than usual, he couldn’t help but notice his hair. His usual silver mess of hair were now a bleached blonde. He stared at the screen in disbelief.

This woman had taken away one of Peter’s most unique traits, a part of his personality, to fit her narrative.

He continued looking at the screen with a mix of rage and anxiety. If she had changed him so easily to fulfill her illusion; there was no telling what else she could do if she found out he wasn’t truly her brother.

***

Notes: Next chapter: the halloween special! (and something else)