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riewritten · 2 years ago

Text

CHAPTER 2

WORKING TITLE: STUCK — DIRECTORY

ERWIN X FEM!READER, ERWIN X YOU, NO Y/N | modern & college AU, parallel uni, eventual romance & smut, crack treated seriously, literal reader-insert lol, typical isekai plot but come on! implied/referenced child abuse

SUMMARY: All the fictional characters you consume and know of seem to exist in one time and space. Unfortunately for you, you suddenly woke up in that world out of the blue. It is until your encounter with a disturbingly curious character that you realized you could still have your way out. Oh, what could go wrong? AO3 | FANFICTION

WORDS: 3k

As soon as both of you went down the bus and onto the seemingly abandoned orphanage, a surge of scenarios flashed alongside the wind. You propped a palm onto your head to contain the sudden overwhelming feeling.

It was a vast reading room with every kid—including the small you—wearing white hospital gowns. Every kid has a number; five of you have the number 42. You sat in an organized manner, just as if this was an everyday routine. The old man in front was holding a book with what seemed to be a doodle of milky way galaxy.

“Erwin,” you muttered out of nowhere, “you said the solar system is something we still haven’t discovered just yet, right?”

He nodded, “The elementary book I gave you was all for a joke but I actually hoped you read some of it.”

You walked subconsciously towards the building entrance which Erwin silently followed. He surely caught on to your sudden change of behavior right after seeing the building. Would it be possible for him to feel guilty, though? No way, you thought. He’s too curious to feel so, but he knows how to compensate as he’s all alert in catching you any moment from now—if ever a bad flash of scenario cripples you.

You came across an empty room that seems to be an old movie hall then it came.

It was still your toddler version wearing the 42 hospital gown along with your group. Flashed on the screen projector was a documentary series of Nat Geo Wild.

That’s exactly the alarming thing, though—all of you in the room, ages one to three, were forced to open your eyes and watch animals violently munching each other. The kids who cry would be ushered outside for a while, only to come back with bruised hands.

On the next day, they’ll read out the anguish in Edgar Allan Poe’s classics, then next they’ll have you watch movies imitating the exact scenes portrayed in The Cannibal Holocaust, and every stuff and personality existent only in your world. Your gut wrenched; a lump formed in your throat.

“You into gore movies, Erwin?”

“A bit, depending on the mood.”

“You know The Cannibal Holocaust?”

“What’s holocaust?” So it was a private screening intended to be watched by the foster kids alone. “Let’s go back now. Entering the premises wasn’t a good idea.”

“Huh? Why?” you turned around the area to examine if there was some sort of security guard signaling you out but, “Seems like there’s no one in—”

He placed two of his fingers on your neck pulse and you were silenced. It stayed for seconds until he instructed, “Take slow deep breaths.”

You realized what was happening then. You almost laughed but that would seem strange.

Following suit while unconsciously tugging on the end of his sleeves, Erwin was partly satisfied. When all was fine and he withdrew his touch, you leaned on the wall and chuckled tiredly.

“We seem to exceed your boundary this time. I apologize.”

“No, it’s actually not a big deal,” you pondered in confusion. “You know the feeling when you suddenly see an unsolicited graphic scene on the television? It’s just that on my part.”

“Children often separate parts of themselves that were exposed to very unpleasant things and—”

“Dissociating means that it is a part of me and my mind just opted to detach from it,” you cut him off, “but these memories aren’t mine.”

He respected that, although with a hint of pity. That face urged you to take the defensive until you realized that if anything, you feel the same pity for the person who used to have this body too.

“Thanks for that, though,” you shot him a smile and stepped out of the building. “I didn’t expect this to be closed. What info have you got in this place?”

“The previous owner faced trial against child abuse allegations. Recently, he fled to another country and settled as a literature professor. Given that the orphanage was able to deliver your documents not too long ago, I thought what we’d see here is a restricted building occupied by caretakers. This one’s been abandoned for years now, though.”

“I still don’t remember anything. It was just stuff concerning childhood.”

“You don’t have to force yourself. I realized that we might’ve been touching matters that your mind was forced to forget. Upholding the boundaries we’ve settled before, I suggest we leave your past out of this.”

“I told you that’s not the case,” you gave him a glare that quickly turned into a bit playful one. “Or are you perhaps intimidated by what we unfolded just now? The commander I saw in my dreams was a courageous one, how disappointing.”

“A courageous one lacking boundaries because of life-and-death circumstances,” he let out a strained chuckle, “the one in front of you is nothing but a curious man.”

“A curious man disturbed of seeing and feeling the same violent things.”

“That doesn’t make it your problem.”

“Even if I see it too?” His face changed at your remark; you let out a laugh then. “You seem greatly affected by the revelations that you forget our common ground, huh.”

“It’s more disturbing that you don't seem affected,” to be fair, he made a point. “And I’ll take priority on your welfare more than anything else. You’re a good girl. I don’t want to ruin what you’ve established for yourself despite your upbringing no matter how curious I get.”

Your brain filtered it out, though, because the only thing that registered was that you’re a good girl. You were reminded that this man is actually someone who takes the form of a character you really liked.

You struggled to hold back the small smiles before playing around, “Our investigation for today is fruitful, Commander.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“I finally saw a dot to connect it with our recurrent dreams. We’re a step towards unfolding the secrets of humanity!”

You saw the edge of his lips quiver, holding back a quip. “I haven’t even seen you there. Neither a soldier nor a citizen.”

Still, you clasped your fists dramatically, “Slowly but surely, we’ll be able to conquer what was once our own. The walls that have bounded us in the depths of despair, the knowledge our comrades have forsaken their lives for, their—”

“Speak of it, soldier.” He defeatedly acquiesced to your tomfooleries.

Yes, he called me his soldier!

“Well…” then you realized that you don’t actually know how to put your discovery without revealing the whole picture.

“Don’t you dare lead me on,” he warned.

“I won’t!”

At this point, both of you were standing beside the bus terminal. Erwin’s the one to buy stuff because you don’t know how to. He gave you a hard stare then, silently saying that he won’t buy you a ticket back to town if you don’t spill whatever you have immediately.

You pondered in pressure, “The solar system and the holocaust—they’ve shown us these things that weren’t discovered, let alone happened in this world.”

“And? There are lots of conspiracies on the land of undiscovered.”

“If you were to lead research saying that there are planets aside from the one we reside in, that with all the planets combined we get a galaxy, and that there are actually millions of galaxies subsisting in space—you might get a Nobel prize!” He remained confused so you added, “Due to those memories, I can now attest that the things we’ve been seeing are true. I just need to recall the rest of it so our questions would be answered.”

“The world where I’m a commander charging soldiers to death is real?”

“It is!” you felt guilty that you nodded given how sullen his reaction was but still, “I don’t know how you’re able to see things but what I’m sure of is that my former home wanted its children to learn the existence and nature of other worlds. If there’s someone to answer our question, it will be no one but them.”

Slowly, you saw his expressions lighten. “So are you really okay digging deeper through your upbringing despite the possible revelations?”

“I am! I don’t even know why I forgot it in the first place!”

“And it might be for the better."

“But you said it as a commander, didn’t you? We have no choice but to move forward. If anything, you’re the companion most suited for me to do so—well, that is if you’re still comfortable unfolding things with me.”

He almost pulled out a sneer at that but chose to be silent and look all over your face for any hint of hesitation; as if that was the last signal for you to take it back because if anything, you’re the one who needs to think more about this arrangement. Being the main subject of his curiosity is a hard job—even mingling with the likes of him is a hassle at it is.

Your resolution didn’t change, though, and that made him smile.

He started walking away from the terminal booth, “I managed to get the profile of other orphans who went the same time as you. They live in a city not far away from this one. I suppose we’ll visit some of them tomorrow.”

“Hah,” you huffed at the realization, “so all this time you were planning to cut me off in this search? I thought you already understood my clarification earlier.”

“No,” his smile was guilty, though. “I just want to make sure that you’re alright with unfolding that with me.”

“I’m letting you take the lead but you must be transparent with your methods,” then a more important matter was brought up. “Where would we stay, though? You told me to pack extra clothes but I didn’t have cash ready for staying in.”

“I made a hotel reservation nearby,” he assured, but with your horrified look he had to clarify, “separate rooms if that’s what you’re bothered at.”

“No,” little does he know, you’re not in any way bothered by that, “the money!”

He rolled the papers he was holding and softly hit your head with it, “Read their profiles. You’ll be the one to do the talking tomorrow.”

“How about the money?”

“I told you not to worry about it,” he looked at his watch and added, “in exchange, tell me about the things you remembered throughout our dinner.”

“An hour ago it was a very touchy subject. A boundary that can never be invaded,” you mocked.

“I’ll order your favorite food.”

“At your service, Commander.”

“A new information was mailed to me just now,” he didn’t even bother to knock, perhaps the matter was too urgent. His face changed into a dead stare, though. “I told you to get ready in five minutes.”

“I overslept,” you yawned but quickly got on defense when his face didn’t change. “I was studying the whole night because of fear that Pyxis will fire me. He’s my most expensive benefactor in this world.”

“You really should fear,” he quipped blankly. “Apparently, the one who mailed your documents was named Oliver Everett.” then flashed you the phone containing his picture, “Familiar?”

You covered your mouth in aghast, “He gave me a tissue when I was crying at the police station!”

“I tried to find his whereabouts but after the police station incident, he fled to his father—Hugh Everett—who was also the owner of the orphanage. The onboarding was marked as urgent.”

“Would it be possible that he rushed to his father after hearing me spur shit about another world?”

“If that was me, I’ll subdue you instead. Maybe it needed to be heard personally by his father. That said, bring that up to the friend we’ll be visiting right now. Ask them about the process of releasing the foster into the cities, what they remember about the methods and more.”

Both of you didn’t realize that the task would be easier said than done. It brought you to a bit of horrifying revelation, too.

“I don’t remember anyone with that name,” said a young neighbor. However, when you flashed him a picture, he gasped in familiarity. “He’s a colleague at my part-time job!”

“Does your part-time job have many employees?”

“No, only the two of us working shifts. Sorry, I don’t know if my memory’s just been flaky recently but even my boss struggles in remembering him.” This time, his voice lowered as if wary, “And please don’t bother him on this but we’re scared to talk to him. He just seems so… dead. It might be due to his upbringing and I don’t want to pry in, but I just want you to be aware since it looks like this is the first time you’ll be seeing him.”

The young man bid farewell afterward.

You were unnervingly silent as you walked again; even felt a bit guilty for Erwin walking from behind. However, when you turned your back on him he had the same face.

Both of you realized it.

“This is his house, I think.”

“Would this be fine for you?” Erwin pressed the doorbell.

“I’m starting to feel very sad now but you have to answer my question afterward.”

“What question?”

“Uh… excuse me?”

You almost gasped; Erwin was a bit surprised as well. You didn’t even realize the man already opened the door. He was that unnoticeable. Moreover, his face was dead. He was staring at you but you couldn’t even reflect yourself from his eyes. It was too devoid of glint, too mechanical.

You had to gulp the big lump in your throat before speaking again, “Hello, are you the one who used to be in—” but cut yourself off at the sudden memory.

He was one of the kids with the same number 42 on their hospital gowns. As you can deduce, each kid is grouped by numbers to watch the same thing and listen to the same stuff.

With that in mind, you mindlessly barged in without saying more. His living room has the same layout as yours. You ran to his bedroom and opened his closet: the documents are all placed nicely in the very same spot. Further horror creeping your spine, you examined his bedroom. It has the same layout as your bed.

Only one difference: there’s a poster of the Korean alphabet plastered on the wall.

The concept of language let alone its barrier from nation to nation is something vaguely established in this world. No one—except you and this man, probably—would distinguish what type of writing this is.

That was enough confirmation. You covered your mouth and your knees dropped on the floor.

“What are you doing?” The man blankly asked.

Erwin apologized on your behalf and ushered you to stand up. Not that he didn’t sense the uncanniness of this man as well. He didn’t even flinch at you barging in his premises, nor aggressively urge the both of you to leave.

You pointed to the poster, “Do you know how to read this?”

Upon examining, he shook his head no. “I don’t remember where I got that,” he then turned to you again to blankly ask, “What are you doing?”

“Can we keep it, then?” It was Erwin’s turn to ask.

“Sure.”

Both of you just know that there’ll be no more talk to be done with this man. You spent all the energy visiting other orphans near the area, hoping there would be at least one of them possessing different characteristics.

Despite the conclusion being slapped right at your face, you still hoped to prove it as a bluff.

“That’s enough. We’ve visited ten of them already. Even if I tried, I wouldn't be able to gather more data especially because none of them remembered the existence of that home.”

“Let’s go back there, then. Maybe I’ll be able to recall more.”

“No. Let’s go home now.”

“This is imperative for our investigation.”

“I told you I take more priority on your welfare.”

“This is for my welfare.”

You both know it wasn’t.

“You realized it now, didn't you?”

“But maybe if we find more of them we could see that it wasn’t actually the case—that not all of us ended up being soulless beings, completely unnoticeable and not easily remembered. Maybe not all of us were mere faces you pass by on the way to work, bound to be forgotten on a busy day!”

He didn’t answer that. The commander knows better than to sugarcoat a bitter fact. Instead, he just asked, “You told me to answer a question.”

“I… I’m afraid to ask now.”

“Ask it.”

“Am I like that in your eyes before that day?”

“You were. In my eyes, Mr. Pyxis’, Pierre’s, Mr. Roy’s, everyone else’s.”

Your lips quivered in impending weeps. To hold it back somehow, you looked down at the ground and nodded with clenched fists. “...just wanted to confirm.”

“You know that it’s been different since that day, don’t you?”

You know, but why the bitter feeling, anyway? You don’t belong here at all. All these stuff for investigation are for getting leads so you could go back into your world.

However, you realized just now that in the moments you bonded with this man, as well as trying to fit in for Pyxis’ job, the horror caught up with you—to be forgotten, to be swept away, to be thrown into the unknown without having someone on your back.

Would you even manage to go back?

Erwin placed two of his fingers on your neck pulse, “Slowly,” he instructed yet again.

“This is getting pathetic now.”

“You are?”

“And all this fact-finding stuff.”

“Do you want to leave now? We could do that much.”

You heaved the long-awaited cry then, “But I don’t have any choice but to go further.”

“And you got a companion most suited for you to do so.”

“You might even forget me when tomorrow comes.”

He let out a sly smile, just as if he could prove every part of your argument wrong, "I thought you already knew better since you see that commander as well."

You must, indeed, as you have to remember that in a span of three days, he was able to deduce how strange your background might be—all in a setup where you're supposed to be a measly unnoticeable dust stuck in the corner of this world.

“Being the main subject of my curiosity is one of the hardest jobs you'll have here."

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