#snk erwin smith | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

trixy812 · 4 days ago

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006 - Ambushed.

{Erwin Smith x reader}

⁀➴ Content: erwin smith x reader, levi is a really good person, reader is a victim of her own circunstanes, reader!soldier, tw: implied sa, angst, love it is not the end just a part of the story, self-love

⁀➴ Summary: You are recuited by Erwin Smith. He saved you from hell but, you need much more from him.

⁀➴AN: A couple of years ago, I sent this idea as a request, if you see something similar then, you will know it was me who sent it because I do not remember if I did it as an anon or with my username. I like the end of this. Please let me know what you think! :)

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The gray skies and dense air of Mitras District were memories that never left your mind. The day Erwin Smith entered your life, the walls around you seemed to close in and open up all at once. You had been passed from one aristocrat to another for as long as you could remember, treated as an exotic commodity because of your distinctive features that set you apart from the average population. To them, you were nothing more than a form of entertainment. However, that hellish cycle ended the moment Commander Erwin Smith extended his hand to you.

“With the secrets you've overheard, you could change the course of this fight,” he said in a voice that left no room for argument. He knew you had learned more than you ever wanted about the vices, frauds, and conspiracies the elite sought to conceal. It was a recruitment based on your traumas, but to you, it was an opportunity to escape your personal hell and become useful to someone like him.

Since then, you had served faithfully as one of his trusted aides. But your role in the Scout Regiment was unique. Erwin, aware of your past experiences, sent you on covert missions where you used your charisma to secure funding from wealthy nobles and merchants. Though you were aware of the morally gray nature of your tasks, you never questioned them. You were grateful to be useful, to be noticed by him—even if it was in that way.

You admired him, almost to the point of reverence. To you, he was a hero, someone who had given you not only a new life but also a purpose. Over time, however, that admiration deepened into something more. You couldn’t help but watch his imposing figure, his determined gaze, the way he commanded with both authority and compassion. You were in love with him, though you knew he likely would never see you the same way.

One night, after a long meeting, you overheard a conversation between Erwin and Levi. The latter, questioned the commander about the missions he continued to send you on. Erwin’s words sent a chill through your body:

“You know these donations wouldn’t last without her. It’s a necessary sacrifice.”

Your heart sank. Was that all you were to him? A tool to fund his dream?

That same night, after much deliberation, you summoned the courage to confront him. You found him in his office, absorbed in maps and strategic documents. Taking a deep breath, you spoke.

“Erwin,” you began, your voice barely audible, “do I... do I matter to you only for the money I bring to the regiment? Or do I mean something to you as a person?”

He looked up, his expression as stoic as ever. But his piercing, analytical eyes revealed something deeper. He took a moment before responding, the silence between you stretching painfully.

“y/n,” he began, his tone serious yet warm, “everything I do is for the sake of humanity. The decisions I make aren’t always fair or easy. You’ve been vital to our progress, but it would be a lie to say I only value you for that.”

He paused, letting his words settle before continuing.

“You are more than a tool to me. Your loyalty, your courage… they mean more than I can express. But my priorities will always lie with our mission. If that hurts you, I have no right to ask for your forgiveness.”

His words were a mix of comfort and brutal honesty, as was typical of Erwin—a man bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders, unable to fully give himself to anyone, no matter how much he might want to.

You stared at him, feeling a mixture of pain and determination. “If I’m truly more than just a tool to you,” you began, stepping closer, “then I want you to do something for me. It’s the least you can do after all I’ve sacrificed.”

He raised an eyebrow, a mix of confusion and caution crossing his face. “What do you want?”

“I want to spend the night with you, Erwin,” you declared, your tone serious even as your chest tightened with nerves. “For once, I want to be with someone I care about—because I’m always with grotesque, cruel men...” The words spilled out as an emotion-laden whisper. “And if you can’t meet this condition... I’ll leave the regiment.” As soon as the words escaped, you realized the weight of what you had said.

Erwin’s gaze bore into you, as if trying to decipher every corner of your mind. He couldn’t tell if you were bluffing, but he couldn’t afford to take the risk. The regiment depended on you more than he cared to admit.

The silence was worse than any reproach. His intense blue eyes scrutinized you, leaving you feeling utterly exposed. The pressure was too much, and you sank to your knees in front of him.

“It’s not true! I’d never leave the regiment! Please, forgive me, Commander,” you sobbed, covering your face with your hands. “I was an idiot to speak to you like that... You saved me from hell, and I...” Your words dissolved into broken cries.

“Stand up, y/n,” he said, his tone characteristically firm yet calm. His voice was an anchor in the storm of your emotions. Hesitantly, you obeyed, rising to your feet as his hand rested on your arm.

Erwin didn’t look away, and what he said next left you breathless. “What you’ve asked for will happen, but it will be a one-time thing. And we will never speak of it again.”

You hadn’t expected that response, but you couldn’t find the words to oppose him. You nodded silently as Erwin calmly walked to the door to lock it.

That night, you shared something you never thought possible. Being with Erwin, both of you vulnerable and exposed—not just physically but emotionally—was unlike anything you’d ever experienced. In his arms, without words, you felt safe.

The intimacy of being held by someone you admired so deeply was incomparable to anything you had endured before. It was different: there was no demand, only a silent understanding between two people carrying their own burdens.

As your breaths synchronized, you knew this wouldn’t change anything for him. But for you, it was enough. For once, you had been with someone you truly wanted.

When you opened your eyes, the soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains of Erwin’s office. He was already awake, staring at the ceiling with a calm yet distant expression. You were still in his arms, but the warmth of the previous night had been replaced by a cold reality.

“It’s time to get up, y/n,” he said softly, gently pulling away. His tone was respectful yet final, as if he wanted to draw a clear line between what had happened and what was to come.

You dressed in silence, avoiding his gaze. As you adjusted your shirt, you couldn’t help but wonder if you had made a mistake by risking everything. But at the same time, that night had given you a sense of intimacy you’d never known, and you couldn’t entirely regret it.

Before you left the room, he spoke. “This doesn’t change our responsibilities. I expect you to continue fulfilling your duties as you always have.” There was no reproach in his voice, but his words reinforced that this had been an isolated event, nothing more.

As the days passed, things seemed to return to normal, but you knew something inside you had shifted. You no longer felt invisible under his gaze. You knew he saw you as more than a tool. Yet his commitment to the cause would always outweigh any personal bond. Your feelings for him deepened, but you began questioning your role in the regiment. Was it enough to keep serving him, or did you need to find a purpose beyond being his loyal ally?

On the other hand, Erwin remained just as focused on his mission. However, there were subtle signs that the night had affected him as well—longer-than-usual glances, a slight softness in his voice when he spoke to you—that betrayed the fact that, even though he would never admit it, the encounter had left an impression on him. He knew he had crossed a line by agreeing to your request, but he also understood that he had given you something you desperately needed: to feel desired by someone you respected. He had agreed not because it was strategic or necessary, but because, deep down, he wanted to alleviate the burden he saw in your eyes. Though he knew he could offer no more, that night had been an emotional truce for both of you.

Yet, each time he saw you, a small pang of doubt gnawed at him. Had he been fair to you? Had he strengthened your loyalty, or only complicated your place in the Scouts? Still, Erwin buried these thoughts like he did with all his personal dilemmas, choosing instead to focus entirely on the mission.

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The training yard was empty except for you and Levi. You had decided to channel your emotions through exercise, hoping to distract yourself from the occasional glances at Erwin and the heavy feelings you carried. Levi eventually approached you.

“You seem more lost than usual,” he remarked, arms crossed.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you replied, trying to sound indifferent.

“I’m good at reading people, y/n. And I’m not stupid,” he said bluntly, though his tone wasn’t unkind. “I know what happened between you and Erwin.”

Your heart skipped a beat. You dropped your gaze, feeling exposed. “How… how do you know?”

Levi shrugged. “It’s obvious. The way you look at him. And the way he avoids looking at you for too long. Plus, I saw him lock his office door with you inside.”

“Levi, I…” You began, but your voice faltered. The words spilled out in a rush. “It was my fault. I pressured him. I blackmailed him, you know? It was awful of me. I love him so much, but I know it meant nothing to him. And now I don’t know what to do.”

Levi stayed silent for a moment, his expression unreadable. Finally, he sighed and spoke. “Erwin’s complicated. He’s got too much on his shoulders to think about anything other than his damn mission. But what you did wasn’t blackmail. It was a cry for help. You need to decide if carrying this weight is worth it.” Levi had never agreed with how you were being used.

“What if I leave it all behind?” you asked, uncertainty thick in your voice.

“You won’t,” Levi answered with certainty. “Because you know this place is about more than just Erwin. But you need to learn how to separate your feelings from your duty. Because in the end, Erwin can’t give you what you want, and you deserve more than that.”

His words hit hard. You realized that, while your feelings for Erwin were real, you needed to redirect your energy toward something that wouldn’t consume you. Levi was right. Staying with the Scouts might mean finding your own purpose, even if you never achieved the love you longed for.

After your conversation with Levi, something shifted within you. His words were like a beacon of clarity cutting through the emotional fog you’d been lost in. You decided you couldn’t let yourself be consumed by your feelings for Erwin, nor could you let your emotions cloud your sense of duty. Though you still loved him, you knew you had to channel that energy into something beyond him.

You threw yourself into your missions, working harder than ever. You became an even more valuable ally to the Scouts, earning the respect of your comrades with your dedication and resilience. Although your love for Erwin didn’t vanish, you learned to accept it as something beyond your control and moved forward, cultivating emotional independence.

Though Erwin remained your commander, and in many ways, you still admired him, you began to forge your own path. You found satisfaction in being useful—not just to Erwin, but to yourself and the greater cause.

Your relationship with him subtly changed. Erwin was no longer the center of your universe, and though his glances sometimes lingered, you no longer sought his constant approval. You had discovered a strength within yourself that granted you a freedom you’d never known before.

Your feelings for him remained, but deep down, you knew the most important thing was what you could build for yourself—without relying on anyone else to define your worth.

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