#the quote. I'm thinking about the quote. god I can't be normal I can't wait until you make it through this show

[buttercreampuff]

Uhhh... I was sick and I had access to the incorrect quote generator soo....

Hangman: Wait, if baby oil dissolves condoms, what does it do to babies?

Bob: Believe it or not, babies and condoms are made of different materials.

Phoenix: It’s like rock paper scissors. Baby oil defeats condom, baby defeats baby oil, condom defeats baby.

Rooster: Rock also defeats baby.

Rooster: Phoenix, I screwed up, big time.

Phoenix: Rooster, given your daily life experiences, you’re gonna have to be more specific.

Phoenix: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Bob: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Phoenix: Stop.

Hangman: What are you talking about Bob? You love it here!

Bob: I'm not sure I do, I think I've just developed Stockholm syndrome.

Bob: Ha! Don't you know the trappers trap can trap the trapper?

Bob: I must be losing it, I'm quoting Hangman.

Hangman: Why are you like this??

Rooster: I used too much "No More Tears" shampoo as a kid and I haven't felt a single emotion since.

Hangman: How stupid do you think I am?!

Bob: You really want an honest answer to that?

Rooster: I hate to disagree with you, but-

Phoenix: Please, you love to disagree with me. Its your favorite thing to do.

Rooster: I’m so jetlagged I can’t even regrender my chorf.

*Everyone stares at Rooster*

Rooster: I don’t even know what I was trying to say.

Hangman, at Starbucks: Can I get a venti vanilla latte with um, seven espresso shots.

Bob, in line behind them: Jesus Christ, just do cocaine.

Maverick: Everybody shut up, I'm thinking.

Iceman, patting them on the back: Well, don’t think too hard. I wouldn’t want you to hurt yourself.

Hangman: Talk dirty to me, baby~

Rooster: The dishes.

Hangman: Wh-

Rooster: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Rooster: How would you like your pancakes?

Phoenix: Plain.

Maverick: With sprinkles!

Iceman: Chocolate chips.

Hangman: Potatoes.

*Phoenix, Maverick, and Iceman look at Hangman*

Hangman: What? They're good.

Maverick, dramatically: They called me a fool.

Iceman, sick of Maverick's shit: They weren’t wrong.

Maverick: And I’d love to be sorry for that, but we all know I’ve done much, much worse.

Maverick: In alcohol’s defense, I’ve done some pretty dumb shit while completely sober too.

Rooster: I don’t want to talk about it.

Iceman: Good, I don’t wanna hear about it.

Maverick: What are your adjectives?

Iceman: …You mean my pronouns?

Maverick: No, I know what your pronouns are! What are your adjectives?

Iceman: …I dunno. What are yours?

Maverick: Noisy and chaotic!

Iceman: I’ve never had something go from making no sense to making complete sense so quickly.

Goose, answering the phone: Hello?

Maverick: It’s Maverick.

Goose: What did they do this time?

Maverick: No, it’s me, Maverick. It’s actually me.

Goose: What did you do this time?

Rooster: I don’t want to talk about it.

Iceman: Good, I don’t wanna hear about it.

Goose: What do you have?

Maverick: A KNIFE!

Goose: NO!

Iceman: I'm a nice person, but I'm about to start throwing rocks at people.

Maverick: And if you have any suggestions, please put them in the suggestion box.

Coyote : That’s a trash can.

Phoenix, writing in their diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

Phoenix: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Rooster?

Rooster: No.

Bob: I do!

Phoenix: I know, Bob.

Bob: I’m sad.

Phoenix: I know, Bob. <br>

*In a group chat*

Bob: A pegan just flew into my window.

Maverick: Pegan?

Phoenix: A what?

Halo: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.

Fanboy: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!

Halo: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.

Fanboy: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can't relate, I have penguins flying into my window.

Bob: I literally just made a typo-

Rooster: Can you PLEASE peer pressure me into doing my project?

Coyote : Do it or you're straight.

Rooster: I said peer pressure, NOT THREATEN!

Payback: Rooster, I need some advice.

Rooster: You need advice from ME?

Payback: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Bob: Due to personal reasons, I will be fucking sinking to the bottom of the ocean in a large metal box.

Payback: Did Phoenix say 'I love you' and you said 'Thanks'?

Bob: THE REASONS ARE PERSONAL–

Rooster: If we don’t get out of this alive… If we’re both about to die… I love you, Hangman!

*Neither of them die*

Hangman: …

Rooster: …

Hangman: So do you wanna talk about somethi-

Rooster: No thank you.

Payback (brainstorming ideas for pranking Halo): How much could a serial killer mask possibly cost?

Maverick: Well it’s hard to find a high-quality one made out of leather or silicone, but if you did find a good one like that it’d be a couple thousands of dollars. I can try to hook you up with one but I don’t know if I’d be very successful.

Payback: Huh, that’s pretty interesting actually- Wait, how the hell do you know that?

Maverick: …I am very passionate about Halloween, Payback.

Maverick: I got an idea!

Iceman: Does it involve breaking the law?

Maverick: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Iceman: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Maverick: Don’t bother.

Goose: Your problem is that you’ve got no common sense.

Maverick: I’ve got plenty of common sense!

Maverick: I just choose to ignore it.

Iceman: Your lover doesn't have the mental strength to caramelize onions.

Slider: Your lover thinks it takes 5-10 minutes to caramelize onions.

Maverick: Who's fucking caramelizing onions? Have you sociopaths forgotten that apples exist?

Goose: Do you think caramelizing onions is putting caramel on onions.

Maverick: Is it just me or is instant ramen even better uncooked?

Slider: It’s just you.

Maverick: When I get murdered, can you make sure I become an unsolved case?

Iceman: wHat?

Maverick: I want to be on Buzzfeed Unsolved.

Iceman: Can we go back to the part when you said "when I get murdered"?

Goose: So, everyone, what does a story NEED?

Slider: A character!

Iceman: A setting!

Maverick, a gleam in their eyes, in a near-whisper: REVENGE.

Goose: Good morning!

Slider: Bold statement.

Goose: We'll talk about this later.

Maverick: Fine, I won’t be listening.

Goose: I think Slider is in trouble.

Maverick: Alright. Struggling to give a fuck, if I’m honest.

Store Worker: Would a “Slider” please come to the front desk?

Slider, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker, pointing to Ice and Mav: I believe they belong to you?

Ice and Mav, simultaneously: We got lost.

Slider: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me—

Mav: When do I get my own gun?

Slider: I wouldn’t trust you with my kid’s lightsaber.

Mav: Do I sound smart, or am I smart?

Slider: You sound unbearable, to be perfectly honest.

Mav: Wow, it sure smells like wrong dog in here!

Merlin: Oh buddy...

Mav, already sobbing: ASK.

Mav: What's your greatest fear?

Goose: Being forgotten.

Mav: ...

Mav: Damn, that's deep.

Mav: Mine is the Kool Aid man, but I feel kinda stupid about it now...

Merlin: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Maverick: Everyone, calm down! We're grown-ups, let's deal with this like adults!

Halo: So, we're just going to wing it and hope for the best?

Maverick: Obviously. Now, Rooster, pass the shovel.

Maverick: Rooster, you’re in charge!

Phoenix: Rooster, can we start a fire?

Bob: Hangman, we tried things your way.

Hangman: No, we didn't.

Bob: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Rooster, proudly: I slept.

Bob: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?

Maverick to Rooster: Turn that frown upside-down!

*a little while later*

Maverick: What are you doing?

Rooster, trying to do a handstand: You told me to “turn that frown upside-down” but it’s not working .

Maverick, to the squad: And remember, if I get harsh with you it is only because you’re doing it all wrong.

Phoenix: Why are you looking at me through a fork?

Rooster: I'm pretending you're in jail.

Phoenix: Why?

Rooster: It's spiritually healing.

Maverick, in a room with Halo, Coyote, and Payback: It’s calm in here.

Maverick: It scares me…

*before goose dies btw*

Iceman: What would Goose think?

Maverick: Ok, that’s an interesting thought, but hear me out: what if… we ran an experiment where we spent the rest of our lives finding out what happened if we never told them?

*Maverick and Iceman are texting*

Maverick: Who are you? Someone changed the names in my phone.

Iceman: What did they change my name to?

Maverick: Chosen One.

Iceman: Don’t change it back.

Maverick: BUT WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Iceman: I’m the chosen one.

[wosospacegirl]

Sun, Sand, and Shenanigans - Arsenal teen!r x Ibiza version

Summary: Arsenal heads to Ibiza for vacation, and Y/n is already plotting all the chaos she can cause.

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: just team banter!!!

Masterlist here

..

The Emirate Stadium was sold out. Hundreds of people had come by to watch The Arsenal women’s final and most important day match of the season. It was a hard game, as it always was when they played against Chelsea.

Chelsea scored first, with  Cuthbert finding the net in the first half. In the second half, Beth scored. 1-1. Then Alessia. 2-1.

The referee blew the whistle. 90 minutes. The game was over and Arsenal had won the Women's Super League against their biggest rival at home. They’d done it. 

And that’s how the whole Arsenal team was flying private to Ibiza. The club had awarded the team with a two-week stay in one of Ibiza’s nicest resorts. To say Y/n and the other girl were over-excited would be unnecessary. 

Some girls, like Y/n, had never been to Ibiza before, while others–especially the Lionesses– were already familiar with the Mediterranean island.

Leah was in the window seat with earphones on, head resting on her chin as she watched the clouds pass by.  Beth was in the aisle seat, while Y/n was squished in the middle, in between the two senior players.

Y/n was more excited than ever. She had never been on a big vacation before—only taking planes for games or to visit her parents. Now, she had two whole weeks with nothing to worry about except beaches and getting a suntan.

Y/n still had school to do, but since it was all online and honestly, she wasn’t too concerned about it. All that mattered to her right now was the vacation the team had ahead of them was her biggest concern now. Y/n was eager to get to the resort, foot tapping against the plane’s grey flooring, a smile displayed on the young girl’s face.

“Can't you stop grinding?” Leah complained suddenly, taking off her earphones and turning to look at Y/n.  “You're bothering me.” 

Y/n looked at her confused. “Bothering you? I haven't said anything!” 

“It can feel you bouncing next to me, it's shaking my seat, bro,” Leah rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

Leah, the Arsenal captain was a sweetheart when she wanted to; right now she wasn’t.

“You’re the one who chose to sit next to me—quote, unquote—‘to keep an eye on me.” Y/n sassed.

“Yeah, that was before I knew you weren't aware of how to properly behave on a plane!” Leah argued back. 

“Damn calm down! I'm just happy. It's not my fault you feel miserable all the time!” Y/n said. “Some would think a captain would know how to deal with their players!” Y/n complained in a mumble barely audible.

“Oh, sweetheart until we get back to London I'll be just Leah. No captain. No, Williamson. Just Leah,” she said, smiling dreamingly as if she had been waiting to put the captain’s armband on hold. “So shut it.” She added dryly, the smile vanishing from her face.

Leah wanted just for once to feel like a normal player on the team. Not the captain, not the responsible one, not the poster woman of Arsenal. She just wanted to be Leah. And if the girls behaved well, she could! Just for two weeks. She just needed to relax for two whole weeks and then she could go back to being a kick-ass captain.

“Oh my god will both of you shut up?” Beth said and Yn and Leah continued with the bickering. The blonde was wearing a beauty mask, a very ugly one. “ We are going on a vacation here. I'm trying to relax!”

“For fuck's sake what do you have on your face?” Leah asked horrified as she turned to Beth. “And when did you put it on?” 

“It's a beauty mask! Airplane air makes my face dry," Beth explained. “This,” she pointed at her face, “will keep it hydrated.”

“There's no such thing as airplane air, Beth! Don't be ridiculous now,” Leah stared at The Mask as if it would attack her any second. “It is making me uncomfortable.”

“Viv wouldn’t mind my mask if she was here,” Beth said, tilting her chin up.

“If Viv was here she would feel disrespected by this thing on your face.” Kim, the vice-captain, said stoically. “Take it off Bethany, you look foolish.

“It's the same colour as vomit, too” Y/n added mysteriously, leaning closer to Beth to inspect the mask. “And it has a smell to it too–”,  Y/n sniffed it before plucking her nose. “Ew Beth! Take it off, it smells like vomit!”

“What!? No, it doesn't!” Beth defended her mask, crossing her arms.

“What is that smell?” Someone said a few seats over. “Did someone puke? Should we call the flight attendant?”

The voice belonged to Steph. She stood up from her seat and started searching for the source of the smell as if she were a hound dog throughout the rows of seats.

“Was it you, Kyra?” Steph asked, looking at where her fellow Australian was sitting. Kyra, Alessia and Vic were sitting two rows ahead of Y/n, deeply focused on a game of UNO.

“What? No, Steph, it wasn't me!” Kyra said defensively looking up from her cards. “The smell is coming from back there,” she pointed to where Y/n, Beth and Leah were seated.

Beth rolled her eyes and Leah put her earphones back on. Guess the captain wasn't captaining anymore.

Kyra, Alessia and Vic turned around, their head the only thing peeking from over their seat.

“Bethy, what is that?” Vic asked, mimicking Leah's horrified face from just a moment ago.

“Oh for fucks sake!” Beth huffed, taking out the beauty mask rather aggressively and throwing it on the little trash bag in front of her. “There. It's gone, are you guys happy now?” 

The plane was silent for a few moments. 

“We should probably throw it out of the windows, It still smells horrible here,” Y/n broke the silence. 

“Agree!” Kyra said.

Murmurs of ‘yeah’ and ‘get it out of here!’ filled the plane's walls as if they all had started a coup against Beth, which in a way, they did.

“Kill me now,” Beth murmured, putting her hands on her face dramatically.

“Great, let me call the flight attendant then,” Steph said eagerly, smiling. “I wanted to talk to her about what would happen if the plane fell into the ocean anyway!”

 Stephe quickly walked down the aisle to the staff’s headquarters.

The smile on Y/n's face dropped. “Is Steph ok?”

“She's a bit scared of flights,” Kyra explained. “But she feels safe with the flight attendants, though.” 

“Yeah, Steph always takes sleeping pills before flying,” Caitlin added, with a  sleeping McCabe on her shoulder. “She didn’t this time.”

“Why hasn't she taken them?” Alessia asked worriedly. “She looked rather nervous.”

“Kyra thought it would be funny to hide the pills from Steph,” Caitlin answered, raising an eyebrow at Kyra. “And then she forgot where she put the pills herself.”

Everybody laughed but Caitlin.

“Hey, I already told her I'm sorry!” Kyra whined.

Turns out Steph was afraid of flying because the flight attendant had to bring her to her seat and teach the woman some breathing exercises in order to Steph calm down. 

But in the end, the flight was smooth, filled with laughter and banter from the team, Before y/n noticed, she had already stepped off the plane, Ibiza��s air softly touching her face,

It was sunny and warm when the team arrived at the Dourado resort in Ibiza, the Mediterranean weather was already affecting Y/n’s mood, and not just hers, but everybody as well.  She even swore she watched Leah smile.

The whole team was bound to have a great time.

The girls got to the reception to check-in. A pile of suitcases and bags in the resort’s lobby was already formed. People could see from miles away they were a big tourist group. 

“Good morning and welcome to The Dourado,” said the old man on the desk, a kind smile on his face. “Can you please give me your full name and reservation number?”

“Katie McCabe and Caitlin Foord, number 2243—”

“María Francesca Caldentey Oliv–”

“It’s Y/n, Y-O-U-R  F-U-L-L  N-A-M-E” 

“Victoria Pelova, Victoria with a C, not a K–”

Everybody started talking at the same time, a mess of words and spelling of names filled the poor receptionist’s desk. The kind man looked terrified and an apologetic look on his face. “I’m sorry, would you ladies form a line and tell me individually about your reservation?”

Kim Little, noticing the mess, stepped closer to the group gathered up on the receptionist's desk. “Sho you all, don’t you know how to behave? How to wait for your turn?” she lectured the women, her brow furrowed. 

Kim turned to Leah, who was sitting in the lounge, not too far from the reception, a drink already in her hand.  “A little help here, mate?”

“Nah, I’m not the captain for the next two weeks,” Leah smirked, taking a sip of her drink.

Kim rolled her eyes and mumbled. “Great, that’s great.”

The vice-captain organized the team in a way they were already paired with the person they were sharing a room with, making it easier to check in. Kim was reading the pairing out loud from a list she had printed. Where Kim could possibly have printed it? Y/n had no idea.

“Okay, McCabe and Foord first, room number 45,” Kim read, letting the couple take a step to the reception, do their check-in and finally take the elevator to get situated in their room. “Next it’s Beth and Steph, room 46.”

When Kim finished reading it, the lobby was empty, having left only Y/n, Leah and Kim herself.

Y/n had a plan to share a room with either Vic, Less, Kyra or even Lotte, she was sure the girls wouldn't mind her tagging along with them during their trip, and the surly wouldn't be fussing over her about school, or telling her to be responsible and mindful.

“Okay kid, you are rooming up with Leah,” Kim said, not taking her eyes off the list.

“With Leah?” Y/n gasped, dropping her bag to the floor dramatically. “Why?!”

“Cause we are in an odd number and I–” Kim pointed at herself, “–don’t want to share with anyone.” Kim smiled.

“Does Leah know she’s sharing a room with me?” Y/n asked, looking at where Leah was sitting; the blonde was now talking with a woman and–oh my god! Leah was flirting with the women?!

Gross, Leah. Y/n thought. So gross.

“No, but she said she’s not on captain duty while we’re in Ibiza, so she won’t get captain privileges either,” Kim explained, dryly. “Now pick up your bag! Don’t leave your things lying around.”

Y/n obeyed, picking up her belongings and following Kim to the elevator. It was a quick trip until they reached their floor. It looked like the whole team would be staying on the fourth floor of the resort. 

“This is your room key,” Kim said as they stopped in front of door number 49, handing Y/n a tag. “Now you get situated, undo your suitcase and please don’t set the room on fire, I bet Leah will be up in any minute now,” 

Y/n opened the door with the tag, feeling Kim’s hands pushing her inside the room. “Hey! Why are you pushing me!” Y/n asked angrily. 

“Because I’m tired of babysitting duties,” Kim rolled her eyes, forcing Y/n to take one more step into the room. “The faster you are in your room, safe and sound, the faster I can get to the sauna.” 

Y/n’s eyes sparkled, her hands pressing together on her chest. “Sauna?! There is a sauna here? I always wanted to go to one,” She said enthusiastically.

“They only allow 18 and older, sorry,” Kim said, not sounding sorry at all.

“Fuck off,” Y/n said, throwing herself on one of the two single beds.

“Glady!” Kim said before closing the door on her way out.

Y/n decided to be a better person than she was yesterday, so she put the procrastination aside and undid her suitcase and her bag. She carefully put her clothes, shoes and toiletries inside the only wardrobe in the wrong, not caring to leave Leah enough space to put her things.

Maybe Y/n would try to be a better person tomorrow, not today.

After what felt like hours, Y/n was finally done. She found time to explore her room. The room was very beachy, with off-white, light blue and yellow undertones on both furniture and decorations. The bathroom was big, with a shower and a bathtub. 

The room also had a beautiful balcony, where she could watch the beach and the pool. It felt like the beach was waiting for her. Tomorrow, she would go to the beach, even if the other girls didn’t want to.

While Y/n was enjoying the view from the balcony, the door to the room opened and Leah came in, but not alone. She was accompanied by the woman from the lounge, holding her.

“What the fuck!” Leah cursed, letting go of the woman’s hand as she saw Y/n. “What are you doing here?” 

Y/n winded her eyes by the sudden disruption of her ‘me time’. “What is she doing here?” Y/na asked, pointing at the woman next to Leah. “Oh my god! Did you bring someone into our room, bro? That's weird!” Y/n whined.

“I-I’m sorry Leah, I’ll just go now,” The woman said embarrassed, leaving the room before Leah could say goodbye.

Y/n looked at Leah with a judge-like expression.

“I didn’t know this was our room, I thought I wouldn’t be sharing with anyone, just like last time,” Leah explained angrily, referring to when Arsenal played in Australia and Leah stayed in a room by herself. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know you would be here.”

“You were so ready to get laid, though,” Y/n teased, watching as Leah sat on her bed.

“I was, and you ruined it,” Leah said, sounding disappointed. “But it’s alright.  Guess we’ll have to make do with this arrangement.” 

“You sound so miserable,” Y/n pointed out.

“I am,” Leah sighed. “Sharing a room with an annoying teenager wasn’t the way I expected this trip to go,” The blonde explained, rolling her eyes.

“And sharing a room with a creep who keeps sneaking people into my room wasn’t the way I wanted this trip to go either, you know,” Y/n said, matter-of-factly.

Y/n’s laughter filled the room as Leah threw a pillow at her face, which made them start a pillow fight.

“Okay, stop it now,” Y/n said between laughs, after being smacked in the head rather hard. “We need to set some ground rules,” she said.

Leah widened her eyes. “Look at you talking about rules! I didn’t know you were a fan of rules,” The blond said sarcastically.

“I don’t like rules, I just don’t want to walk in on you or something like that,” Y/n added teasingly, laughing as Leah’s face flushed.

Y/n had two jobs in this world: 1. playing football, and 2. being a pest to each and every one of the girls on the team. Right now, Leah is her primary victim. 

“Will you ever drop it?” Leah asked annoyingly.

“Nope!” Y/n said, in a playful voice.

“First rule then: you start having some respect for your captain,” Leah said, almost as if challenging Y/n.

Y/n laughed. “Oh, back at being the captain?”

“Yeah, kid, guess I am.” Leah said, “I thought Ibiza would be a relaxing trip, but now that I’m rooming with you, I’m not so sure.” 

“You sound like I’ve already done something wrong, I’ve been behaving perfectly since I got here,” Y/n said proudly, chin up. 

“Oh, but I know you’ll get in trouble,” Leah pointed at her eyes, then at Yn’s eyes. “I’m watching you,”

“Now be good and help your senior unpack,” Leah added, pointing at her huge suitcase.

“You wish!” Y/n said, already heading to the door. “Lotte and I are going to that coffee shop downstairs, you have fun with your suitcase, though!”

Y/n didn’t hear Leah’s complaint because she was already out of the room.

She was sure Ibiza would be the best experience of her life so far. She was sure of it!

..

Social media au here Read more of my work here -> Masterlist Tell me if you would like to read any special scene with Kyra and reader! Please like, share and let me know what you think! Feedback is important and makes me want to write even more. :D

[neerons]

Some of Yves Kloss’ best quotes

"He caaaaaaaaame! " (—Yves screaming about Clavis)

"You're the most common commoner I've ever seen. You have no redeeming features to speak of. Why should I accept someone like that?"

"Choosing me shows how sophisticated you are. You won't regret it." (—Yves' changing route quote)

"Y-You call that a CAKE...?" (—Yves reacting to Clavis' gift)

"If this shameless behavior goes on any longer, you’ll find out what happens if you test my patience. I suggest that you don’t." (—Yves defending Emma in front of a noblewoman that bullied her)

"ExCUSE me? What on earth are you doing hiding in my closet?!"

"Excuse me? And why not?! I’m going to tell everyone, so we can figure out how best to punish her for what she did to you! (…) Huh?! Hey, no, you’ve got it all wrong! This isn’t kindness! I just know I’d end up with the worst stomachache if something happened to you because of me!" (—Yves defending Emma)

"Why should you have to be the one to carry such a heavy burden? This is a problem between two nations. It’s not the sort of thing a simple, kind-hearted woman like yourself needs to get involved in."

"…Emma really is amazing. I could never do anything like that. I always wanted to be a bridge that could bring Obsidian and Rhodolite together… But I was despised just for being half-Obsidianite, and I accepted it all, like it was completely normal. I never did a single thing to actually improve the relationship between our countries. I didn’t even think I could. It takes courage and resolve to approach someone when you’re completely at odds with them. It’s not easy, not in the slightest. I bet it’s left Emma in tears countless times. But even so, she’s still here now, holding her head high and taking that first step towards peace. She really is… amazing. (…) She’s so beautiful it’s dazzling. (…) I’ve spent my whole life with my head down, seeing nothing but the ground at my feet. I really need to change—I need to learn from her example." (—Yves talking about Emma to Leon)

"Fhwhwh...?! Oh my god. How is my little brother this adorable?!" (—Yves talking about Licht)

"Know this: Yves Kloss loves you, and he's always thinking about you. There's not a day you're not in his thoughts."

"You do realize you're pretty, no matter what?"

"For the record? Each time you make me happy, I swear I'll make you even happier."

"H-Hey... Have you really not noticed that I, Yves Kloss, am waiting for the right moment to talk with you?"

"U-Um, Emma... Don't tell me you're... with both of them...?" (—Yves talking about Emma holding Gilbert's and Clavis' hands)

"Just the thought of being tossed into a den full of women sends a shiver up my spine..."

"Did you just say... LOVE?!" (—Yves to Licht and Leon)

"I guess you captivated me. You were always striving to be perfect, and... that's the Emma I fell in love with."

"Y-You think you can just be all cute and get away with it, huh?"

"Please don't cry, Emma. When you cry... my heart aches so badly I don't know what to do."

"I'm not a prince to be pitied. It doesn't matter if no one accepts me. The only one I need acceptance from is me. (...) It doesn't matter what other people say. What's the point, if you can't trust yourself, and believe in your own worth? Even if they trample you under their filthy, worn boots—so long as you hold your head high and believe in yourself, it'll only make you stronger."

"Okay, which of you gave Licht wine?! How many times have I told you not to?!"

"There are so many people in the world who hate me. But... I hate me more than any of them."

"Aww, Licht, don't be so down. Failure is an unavoidable part of cooking!" (—Yves reassuring a sulking Licht)

"I'm never making dessert for any of you ever again!! You're all horrible and you can eat dirt for all I care!"

"I am NOT a cat!!!"

"...I know that kindness of yours is probably a virtue, but I can't help worrying that you're going to kindness yourself to death one day."

"What? No! I didn't meow. Why on earth would I meow?!"

"You're my goddess of happiness. I... thank you for coming, Emma."

"He's such a brazen fool! Not a principled bone in his body, and he's incorrigible to boot!" (—Yves talking about Nokto)

"Listen, you didn't hear this from me, but... Licht made almost five hundred attempts before he baked an edible batch of cookies. (...) That boy really loves you a lot. So much that it gives me heartburn just thinking about it."

"I often get told that I don't have luck. But when I talk to you, I feel like my life isn't all that bad."

"I hope she comes soo... WAHH! W-Warn me when you come!"

[love-belle]

no comment !!!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they finally reveal their shared life.

or

for when you got really lucky with your love. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚

social media au // carlos sainz jr. x fem!reader

warnings - language

author's note - hello!! i can't stop making these lmfao but fr these are so fun to write, i love them!! i really hope u like this, thank you for reading <3 i think, emphasis on think, that i will be able to post a pierre gasly social media au tonight along with part i of a max verstappen one so yeah, keep an eye out. i love you, hope you're okay <3

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by lewishamilton, carmenmmundt, carlossainz55 and 985,517 others

yourusername people ask how long have i loved u, no comment

tagged carlossainz55

8,962 comments

username SHUT UO SHIT UP SHIT UP SHUT UP OMG

username OH MY GOD?????? WHAT??????

username her using her own song to hard launch her man is so iconic of her

username THIS IS WHAT I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR AGAHSJKAKSNAKA

landonorris fucking finally

-> yourusername props to carlos for convincing me 🙏

username "no comment" MA'AM WE NEED ANSWERS

username im vrying omg whag yje fjxk

lewishamilton the best couple ❤️

*liked by yourusername*

username what the duck i lo e them so mucj omh

username he's so pretty omg

carlossainz55 te amo ❤️

-> yourusername te amo mi amor ❤️

carlossainz55 loved you for a thousand lifetimes probably

-> yourusername carlos i will cry i love you :/

username they're so parents whatcthefucj

username RUE WHEN WAS THIS

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by yourusername, landonorris, yourbestfriend and 964,528 others

carlossainz55 how i got you honey, even i don't understand

tagged yourusername

9,146 comments

username THE WAY "the party" BY Y/N IS LITERALLY THEIR SONG OMG

username HIM QUOTING HIS GIRL'S SONG I COULD CRY

username gone deceased six feet under decomposed decaying

charles_leclerc will you finally stop calling me at 3am ranting about how much you love y/n???

-> carlossainz55 no x

username MOTHER

username she eats everytime

username can carlos fight question mark

danielricciardo chihuahua energy in the second pic

-> yourusername WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN

-> carlossainz55 no no i get what you're saying

username THE WAY I SCREAMED

lilymhe the only thing i like abt u is ur gf

-> yourusername my love ❤️

-> carlossainz55 can't believe you because same

username he's down BAD bad

username this acc will turn into a y/n fanpage and i will eat up every second of it

≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱

liked by carlossainz55, pierregasly, lilymhe and 947,816 others

yourusername i know how lucky i am

tagged carlossainz55

9,146 comments

username GOODBYE.

username LITERAL PARENTS NOW OMG

username STOP THEY'RE GONNA BE SUCH GOOD PARENTS

danielricciardo normal y/n is such a gem to deal with, can't wait for the pregnant version!! good luck mate!!

-> carlossainz55 thank you brother, i will be needing it 🙏

-> yourusername these comments are public and you're on the couch tonight.

username CARLOS AS A DAD I CANNOT

username im so 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

username THIS IS INSANEEEE LIKE WE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY WERE DATING BEFORE YESTERDAY AND NOW THEY'RE GONNA BE PARENTS LIKEEE

landonorris best godfather is here ❤️

-> charles_leclerc no

-> pierregasly no

-> lewishamilton no

-> maxverstappen1 no

-> danielricciardo no

username that baby is gonna be so blessed and loved

username stop im so happy for them sm

carlossainz55 i'm the one who got lucky, thank you for everything ❤️

-> yourusername gonna cry brb x

carlossainz55 i love you so much

-> yourusername my love for you grows everyday it's insane

username OH MY GOD SHJAKABDJAKANS

[lordofshitposting]

JJK as Brooklyn 99 quotes because it would be hilarious

─────────────────────

Miguel: Getō! Where is Mimiko's stuffed bear?

Getō: Umm... She must have forgotten it in the temple. Don't worry, I'll get it tomorrow and-

Miguel: Let me be clear. Mimiko can't sleep without that stuffed bear, and if Mimiko doesn't sleep, Nanako also doesn't sleep, and if both of them don't sleep-

Getō: I know, I know. Miguel doesn't sleep.

Miguel, holding black rope: No. Getō doesn't live!

─────────────────────

Mai: Alright, give me your hair dryer.

Mechmaru: What?

Noritoshi: What are you talking about?

Mai: Don't you carry one in your bag?

Noritoshi: Have you met a normal person before?

Mai: Pulls out her phone to call Momo

Mai: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer with you?

Momo: Of course, I'm not an animal.

─────────────────────

Gojo, to principal Gakuganji probably: You think that disapproving glare is gonna work on me after all the times I've seen it? Step it up, find something new. You're boring.

─────────────────────

Maki: So what, now I'm supposed to do everything Yuta does? What if he jumps off a cliff?

Panda: If Yuta were to jump off a cliff, he would have done his diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry. So yes, if Yuta jumps off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Maki: You jump off a cliff!

Panda: Gladly, provided Yuta did first.

─────────────────────

Yuta: I gotta go.

Maki: Aren't you forgetting something?

Yuta: Uh...

Yuta: kisses Maki's forehead

Maki, blushing: No, pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

─────────────────────

Manami: You want to hold him, Larue?

Larue: Oh, um... yeah sure, that would be great.

Larue: Hugs Getō

Manami: The baby, Larue.

Larue: Yeah. Right, right. The normal thing.

─────────────────────

Nanami: The most time I have spent with someone is four hours and it was hell.

Gojō: What about the ride to Bludhaven we took? That was four hours.

Gojō: Oh, I see what just happened.

─────────────────────

Yuji: Remember how upset you got when Megumi ended a text with "thx" instead of "thanks"?

Nobara, visibly upset: Why would you bring that up?

─────────────────────

Gojō: Hey Getō, do you know my blood type?

Getō: Yeah, it's B positive.

Gojō: Okay, I guessed wrong.

Gojō, to his nurse: Excuse me, ma'am-

─────────────────────

Gojō: Be myself? Shoko, I have one night to win over Suguru. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Mei Mei: A couple of weeks.

Kusabake: Six months.

Utahime: Jury's still out.

Gojō: See, Shoko? "Be myself" what kind of garbage advice is that? First impressions are everything and I'm not Nanami!

─────────────────────

Nobara: How much could I possibly owe you? Fifty, sixty bucks?

Megumi: Two thousand four hundred and thirty-seven dollars.

Nobara: Dollars?! Wait, of course dollars. Why was that the part I was surprised by?

─────────────────────

Hakari: Do you wanna know how I actually hurt my wrist?

Kashimo: Yes.

Hakari: I was hoola-hooping. Kirara and I attend a class for fitness and for fun.

Kashimo: Oh my God.

Hakari: I've mastered all the moves. The pizza toss, the tornado, the scorpion, the oopsie doodle.

Kashimo: Why are you telling me all this?

Hakari: Because no one will ever believe you.

Kashimo: You sick son of a bitch.

[poohsources]

🐝  *  ―  𝑴𝒀 𝑰𝑴𝑴𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑨𝑳 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺. ( all of these quotes are taken from the infamous fanfic with the same name and edited slightly by me so they don't include wrong spelling and grammar. feel free to change things if needed. )

❛  i'm not related to gerard way but i wish i was because he's a major fucking hottie.  ❜ ❛  well ... do you want to go with me?  ❜ ❛  hey, it's ok i don't like him better than YOU!  ❜ ❛  what the fuck do you think you are doing?  ❜ ❛  my name's [ first ] [ last ], although most people call me vampire these days.  ❜ ❛  no! no! but you don't understand!  ❜ ❛  what is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit?  ❜ ❛  i'm sorry i got all mad at you but i thought you cheated on me.  ❜ ❛  you might think i'm a slut but i'm really not.  ❜ ❛  why are you doing this?  ❜ ❛  fuck off. you know i fucking hat the color pink anyway, and i don't like fucked up preps like you.  ❜ ❛  well if you wanted honesty that's all you had to say.  ❜ ❛  you look kawaii, girl.  ❜ ❛  [ name ] i love you will you have sex with me?  ❜ ❛  god, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard.  ❜ ❛  why can't i just be ugly or plain like all the other girls and preps here?  ❜ ❛  why would you wanna be ugly?  ❜ ❛  i just wanna be with you, okay [ name ].  ❜ ❛  why couldn't satan have made me less beautiful?  ❜ ❛  i'm good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!  ❜ ❛  now i just wanna fucking be with you. i fucking love you!  ❜ ❛  so i guess you're a prep or a christina or what now?  ❜ ❛  oh my satan you have to buy that outfit!  ❜ ❛  as you can see i gave the room a makeover. what do you think about it?  ❜ ❛  i bet he's having a mid-life crisis!  ❜ ❛  no one fucking understands me!  ❜ ❛  no! wait! it's not what it fucking looks like!  ❜ ❛  you mean you'll go fuck him, won't you?  ❜ ❛  okay you can go now, see ya cunt.  ❜ ❛  but what about me? you're not gonna break up or anything, are you?  ❜ ❛  but you are so sexy and wonderful anyway, [ name ]. why would you need it?  ❜ ❛  excuse me but you're going to have to leave.  ❜ ❛  i love you too. i'll ... i'll see you in hell.  ❜ ❛  this is unlogical and does not make any sense!  ❜ ❛  what the fuck happened? am i like dead now?  ❜ ❛  omfg, i can get you back together.  ❜ ❛  whatever you do, don't blame them, you jerk.  ❜ ❛  yeah, i was just trying to make sure you were still the same person.  ❜ ❛  what if you don't like me anymore cause we're from different times?  ❜ ❛  i knew who you were all along.  ❜

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

love the idea that like. ok, trent later does write The Article about ted's panic attacks--specifically because nate comes to him to spill the beans as revenge. he did, however, earlier on ask ted about his abrupt exit during that match, so like. idk man, something something it comes up somehow, ted asks him about it, in a sort of casual trying-really-hard-to-sound-normal-and-fine sort of way, it just. somehow comes up, you know, and trent has to be like wh--oh. you mean. when i asked y--oh my god. and ted's like ??? and trent's like okay well the serious heartfelt answer is that later, i kind of realized there might be more to it, but i didn't pursue it because i didn't think you'd lie to me unless you had a reason and it didn't seem to be changing your general playbook/making the team worse, so it was easy to just... not go after it, until nate dropped it in my lap unprompted. and ted's like, what do you mean 'the serious answer' . wait what do you mean 'later' and trent's like (embarrassed little smile) well at the time you see i was actually quite drunk and ted's like. oh. (remembers trent's sparkly-eyed bouncy energy) oh. uh and trent's like yeeeah i'm gonna be completely honest i did NOT care about the quote at the time (ted who at the time had been like damn trent's dedicated to his job huh: ??? really??) it was just kind of.... an excuse to talk to you??? (ted: ??? really?????) yeah like i said i was kind of plastered and a bit excited to see you but trying to play it cool so honestly i barely even remember what i said other than the gist + what i wrote down after so. uh. yeah. also i can't decide if this whole thing is funnier if it's like, a) just s3 in general, trent's comfortable enough to tell him this but ted still somehow has not clocked his huge crush b) they're in some sort of limbo where ted definitely knows about the crush but are they a thing yet? unclear. they're either dancing around each other or like, ted knows, trent knows ted knows, ted knows trent knows ted knows, however while ted is still figuring his feelings out trent's kind of moved on to embarrassedly, sheepishly just living with the fact his straight crush knows about his feelings and is kindly not bringing it up directly c) straight up established relationship. anyway i'm just saying trent being tipsy as fuck in that scene and just soooo happy to see ted and later they talk about it and actually i think established relationship is sweet because then it's not weird or mean if ted's gently teasing him for what he, in retrospect, realizes was trent's terrible tipsy flirting (the casablanca reference.... LISTEN) plus just generally imagining ted feeling a sort of way realizing that even then, trent had been just genuinely happy to see him. like sincerely excited to see him and making up an excuse to talk to him. even then.

[revalition]

OCT 15 - ENDURANCE Take the blows. Don’t let the world kill you.

Endurance!! I don't love him, but that's okay. He's just not as interesting to me as the others, and spearheads the fascist questline. that definitely does him no favours. but I do cherish all the skills nonetheless, including him

Quotes under the cut!

endurance fun facts from my spreadsheet:

- swear score of 8 - damages and heals an equal amount of morale - says "we" more than "I" (almost double) - Endurance says "sorry" just once, when you're about to die

the heart attack endurance quotes are really really sad. which makes them excellent. but it's too painful for me to look at and I want to be able to use these posts as references so they're being omitted!

anyway, endurance quotes!

endurance definitely directing the blame back up to the intellect group here haha

this is so funny to me. endurance begrudgingly letting you have both kim and dora in his hypothetical aerostatic

I wasn't sure if I should give this one to endurance or PT, but I really like it. lovingly adorn him in a ceramic shell

your stomach doing his job well

uhm, is that how it works honey?

what is wrong with this skill?? (so, so many things)

see, there's 'what's wrong with him' said with utmost affection, like when I look at electrochemistry. and then there's without the affection. that's the version endurance gets. sorry my guy

(if you have your badge he confirms it's not your birthday haha) just the idea of harry asking one of his own skills if it's his birthday...

this heartwarming dialogue about being sober! I'm pretty sure it's not implemented in the game but I love it all the same.

this is a godly endurance check for some reason?? (maybe it's a fail? I can't tell on Fayde...)

endurance no! they're all idiots...

hghh endurance ew

this is too funny. tutorial agent not you too...!

this is so totally not here just because volition said it (picking "wait, get who back?" immediately damages volition btw, poor bby) ultramarathon is such a funny nickname. fitting enough, I suppose.

endurance is so stupid...

also endurance compromised!

amazing. ty endurance. I'm sure that's making Harry feel better

alternate:

YOU - Oh my god, I'm going to die! ENDURANCE - Yeah, probably, one day. But not this very minute.

endurance knowing what a focal epileptic seizure is and where it's occurring and then just going i'unno when asked if it's dangerous... why is he like this.

also you're *probably* going to die one day? cmon buddy

instead of asking why, you can also say:

YOU - Don't you sass me. Get on with the story.

hehe. Zone of Irredeemable Catastrophe! :(

of course your gut does, it has to do with gary... savvy having no interest in it is wonderful

as always much love for this infra-materialism book shutting down everyone's methods of thinking (except inland's)

running reservoirs haha. extremely rare polite endurance

I *think* I understand what he's trying to say... Volition has it right. Sometimes you need to be unmade to heal.

stupid endurance...

seagull dialogue has to be in here cause it's awesome. the body remembers... (also endurance saying good boy??)

first endurance line is the antipassive (failure) and the second one is the success. I don't think he's super impressed...

this is so random, just in the middle of talking to klaasje on the first day. uhm good job endurance...

what a normal, straight thing to think! all the skills chiming in on the smoker is so funny to me

don it and live!!

I have two screenshot spots left so here are my WIPs :)

he's just in the background in the banner one (the second one). I think he came out pretty cool in the spring storm one though (first one)

that's it! endurance is my least favourite of the fys skills by a landslide. I'm very excited for the rest of them :)

[lapdogchase]

house season 8 episode 12 liveblogging (LONG post sorry)

sorry again. see why it took me 2 hours to watch 45 minutes

bandage placement made me think top surgery. god iwish i lived in the beautiful world i conjured in my mind for .3 seconds where chase took time off work to get top surgery

has anyone told him he probably shouldnt be having sex while also having an unhealed stab wound

thank god at least HE takes pills with water. unlike SOME PEOPLE (house 😒)

(respectful voice) big fan of.back muscles. Noreason for sharing just was moved by the spirit i suppose

every time house calls himself the c word i have an instinctual Hey man you cant say that reaction and then i go Wait he can reclaim nvm... Hes using it as a slur though

wait is this chase's apartmwnt I need to know fto write the most accurate fanfiction possible

guy who just got stabbed but is "fine" Okay man

NUNS......

can he stop standing and walking around and shifting his weight on his injured legs im nervous.

he was a seminarian......... i already knew this. but like. wow he has GOT to have some insane brain problems as a result. (thinks about "i had faith" "yeah that has baggage stamped all over it" exchange btwn him and adams)

^is this supposed to be hot or am i just insane

^BABYGIRL YOURE SO BAD AT THIS I LOVE YOU

i love you babygirl ur cool and casual touching ur hair despite barely having hair anymore is definitely showing how chill and calm u feel abt this conversation

"priests and nuns were the closest i had to family" :(

^what do u mean by this :(

"even though you don't find my case interesting, you find my interest in it interesting" AGAIN . CHASE KNOWS HIM SO WELL. and the pause after and looking at him like he's making sure he's reading him right and then house does exactly what chase expected. im normal about them

^oh you should ask chase about this topic im sure hes familiar #true /notprojecting

"your overreaction to your stabbing is to blame me even as you are drawn to me" ? i cant be the only one seeing homosexuality here

"how can you not be traumatized?" "can't change what happened. can only make better choices from here" me when im so not traumatized that i blame myself for what happened to prove im not traumatized.

"no one joins the clergy without having that epiphany.that god's love is speaking to you directly" <- needed to save this quote. not sure why. It will be helpful to me in my travels i think

this is sofucking good im. slurping this episode like apple juice Fuck

EVEN THE PATIENTS KNOW HES A WHORE!!!!!!😭

the first thing he has to know about being hypersexual/using sexuality as an unhealthy coping mechanism is that u cant drag other people into ur problems Especially if u have to interact with them regularly. (doubly so bc if they realize ur like, using them to worsen ur own brainproblems they will feel bad !!!) Fucking all the nurses at the damn hospital is like the worst thing he could do Now its followed him into his career Smdh. Well to be fair he probably didnt have an alter to tell him that. shout out mars i miss u every day

"i'm just looking for something more" "so am i" auoughhghhhhh

he spends all this time nowadays being like house but sometimes u can still see the earnest kicked-puppy look in his eyes

"you think im hitting on a nun? angry at god or i just need a challenge?" "Or you're terrified of intimacy, which is why you're a serial slut" MY JAW IS ON THE FLOORRRRR I THOGUHT I WAS THE ONLYT ONE SEEINF THIS SHIT!!! I PRACTICALLY WROTE THIS WORD FOR WORD THE OTHER DAY IN MY NTOES APP FOR THAT FUCKING. DIALOGUE I CANT STOP WRITING FOR SOME REAOSN.

got too excited about teevee show now i can feel all the blood in my body

"youre right i was running away" girl so is he :(

how it feels to lose urself in meaningless sex rainbow dolphin image :(and by rainbowdolphin image i mean not that

^😭 HELP

"there was a stabbing" ME WHEN I DISSOCIATE??? brother.see a therapist

"i need to get away from house and everything that reminds me of him" (house md 8.12) // "avoidance of trauma-related stimuli after the trauma" (ptsd criterion c)

"you're gonna get away from him by turning into him?" OH.... FINALLY SOMEONE ELSE IS SEEING THIS

i truly do not believe his little story abt how he got kicked out of seminary school im not buying thgat. me when i lie

he's like a puppy to me. hes so kicked puppy core. and his gay little outfit is so cute and i love him i want to pick him up and throw him against the wall. like a bouncy ball not in a sexual way. In a sexual way also tghough

DO NOT CONFESS YOUR LOVE TO THE PATIENT??? WHO YOU JUST MET AND SLEPT WITH ONCE??????

^in terms of how house is this is basically a deeply vulnerable discussion of his regrets and traumas

the little tiny barely perceptable nods i lvoe you i love you

[clus444]

RealityStar! Gaz Part 3

Open The Chat Rooms

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello everyone! I'm your host, Sativa, and I'm here to test certain theories about love. The contestants will blindly choose their 'Their Forever Partner' and be put through challenges so we can find out how forever their partners are gonna be," Sativa says cheekily. "Sometimes we put what we call 'spies' in the game that no one knows about. Their job is to act like their here for love but its to test limits. More will be explained later as I want to get this show on the road. My final question to the contestants is, are you ready?" The screen turns black and I stare at it waiting for something else to happen.

The words ' Start dating' appear with a loading bar under it. The room is nicely decorated with a beach theme to it. The walls are a nice blue color with a accent wall painted to resemble a beach. They put nice black couch in the wobble with beach themed pillows. Quotes about not giving up taped on the wall. One camera not so secretly placed in the top corner of the room.

The bar finishes loading and 12 profiles pop up. I accept 4 chats and I start three with a simple,

R-Heyyy

Everyone was told no names in case recognition happened. Especially since some have made it known they were on the show. One of the chats consisted of talking about sports only, one treated it as a sex thing kinda and I immediately left, and the others were downright boringgg!

How hard is it to have a normal conversation? Though I can't completely blame them. Dating for me hasn't been lucky and I think I find myself carrying that onto here. But hell can you blame me? Rome wasn't built in a day.

I decide to click on one more before finishing for the day. Clearing my mind and coming at this with as much positive energy as I can.

R- Your profile says that you are from Great Britain

Is the food as bad as they say?

G-Though I love my country,God bless the queen (She's alive right now,I have my reasons), the food does have its faults compared to America

R- Are you trying to say it is better than any other place?!?

G-I said we had some faults... We have some delicacies

R- Can you even count chicken masala...

G- I'll have you know that degradation is my kink

I laugh out loud at that. I guess I kinda did go in hard.

R- Looks like we have something in common.

We began texting back and forth the conversation flowing smoothly. I catch myself giggling and twirling my hair. We talk about movies and of course land on the argument of rose and jack. He could've fit!

G- Yes the door was big enough but! Weight would weigh them down.

R- Puh-Lease! She could have given him her life jacket to help cover him for the cold.

We talk about each others families. His father was enlisted in the army but now spends his days in the wilderness to get his hands dirty. His mom stayed at home to care for him and his sisters. I told him about how my father died which left me and my mother. I only have one sister.

R- My father passed when I was young so I don't have many memories with him.

G- Daddy issues go crazy for the both of us.

Though my father is here, we weren't always close. We are now repairing our relationship.

I also found him to be very funny and quite sassy! His quick comebacks had me dying on the floor. I'm sure the viewers will have a field day with our messages.

*Buzzt*

A buzz happens and lets us know that we have to stop chatting.

G- I'll text you tomorrow. Tell your other dudes I'm first in line.

I smile as I reread his text. I fist bump the air as I start to feel like this wasn't a complete failure. Maybe love is in my cards or maybe I'm being naive and desperate. I'm not quite sure but what I do know is that if this doesn't work out, Hot Girl Summer will!

Kyle receives a small message that says...

S- Feel free to make a confessional. Just grab the camera under the couch and set it where to computer is.

He thinks for a moment weighing his options. He grabs the camera and sets it up. How should I start?

"I'm Kyle Garrick but everyone calls me Garrick. So far I've talked to 8 people. Only two really catch my eye but I have my doubts about this whole thing," He pauses and laughs.

"For some reason, I can't shake the feeling that none of this is real. What can I say? Stacey and I share a similar military family background. And the other one just seems crazy. But I will admit how interested I am to see how this plays out," He finishes talking and signs out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Giving you all some more plot but I cant lie and say I wanna skip some parts. Anyways hope you enjoyed!!!

Masterlist

[loveandleases]

Man, Jade is just so.... slappable. She really needs an ass kicking. Being so ridiculously impulsive, never thinking of consequences, wanting to fuck someone your sibling is together with just because you want to, then not understanding they want nothing to do with you anymore?

"We are family, nothing changes that." The hell it doesn't?? Have to wonder if MC was the one to do that and throw that quote in her face, she would have been so nonchalant about the whole thing. I swear to God, makes me want to have a situation in the game where we will get to screw her over with something important to her then mockingly bat our eyelashes at her and say "We are family, so it's no big deal, right?"

And I must say, her reaction to an indifferent MC is so frustrating because why the hell would someone wanna shed more tears and use up brain space for a couple of losers who clearly did not give an iota of shit about them enough to just not fucking HURT them so brutally like that? Jade sure was indifferent to MC when chasing after their fiancé(e), only caring after her pleasure like she is controlled by a lizard brain. Chris didn't give a damn enough to even try to come clean and then they callously stole their pet as if they were the wronged party here taking what rightfully belonged to them.

Not cheating is a real easy thing to do! You just don't kiss someone when they come unto you. You don't go to their bedroom, you don't strip, you don't fuck, you just don't! Just like how you don't jump on every attractive person crossing your way! Common courtesy! Common SENSE!! (shakes them until they get normal like a radio)

I feel like flaming angry Disney's Hades whenever I think of Tweedlebitch and Tweedledick. I am READY to kick ass and take names!! And smooch the likes of Cam and Ardent and Kara and G who I'm sure won't take MC for granted!!

I can't wait for the demo, OP!! 🥰

I loved the energy behind this anon!

It is very easy not to cheat, especially if they communicate to their partner. Communication.is.key. It's how you learn, how you keep the relationship going, to help it grow and understand what each other need. But nope, those two Tweedlebitch and Tweedledick (which I will now allow Cam to refer to them as), didn't care enough. It's as simple as that.

There is no reason it should have happened, no reason they should have hurt MC the way they did and others who are also hurt by their actions. Yet, here we are and ready to ensure MC get's what they truly deserve! Other's who are better~

I look forward to the feedback, can't wait for everyone to play!

[koreanbibliophilegirl]

Made incorrect quotes for Temporal Transcendence(WIP). Why am I so obsessed with incorrect quotes.

-

Wilbur: You love me, right, Tommy?

Tommy: Normally, I'd say yes without hesitation, but I feel like this is going somewhere and I don't like it.

-

Tommy: This is such a bad idea.

Wilbur: Then why are you coming along?

Tommy: One of us needs to be able to talk the other Mages out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

-

Techno: Here's some advice.

Dave the Blood God: I didn't ask for any.

Techno(been a statue for a whole century now): Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who can hear me.

-

Young Tommy: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Techno: No thanks. I've seen it and I'm not very impressed.

-

Techno: English is a difficult language. It can be understood through tough thorough thought, though.

Wilbur: You need to stop.

-

Tommy: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

The Time Mages: Wasn't Supreme Time Mage Jacobs with you?

Karl: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

-

Wilbur: HELP! I TOLD TECHNO I'D COOK DINNER TONIGHT BUT I CAN'T COOK!

Phil, pouring milk directly into the cereal bag: And you thought I could help?

-

Wilbur: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Tommy: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Wilbur: Yes!

Techno: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

-

Tommy: *Screams*

Sapnap: *Screams louder to establish dominance*

Wilbur: Should we do something?

Karl: No, I want to see who wins.

-

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Phil: Shit.

Techno: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Tommy: OH MY GOD WILBUR FELL OFF!!!

-

Quackity, a Time Mage, about Tommy: Apparently we're getting someone new in the group.

Sapnap: Are we stealing them?

Karl: New or used?

Quackity: Wonderful responses, both of you.

-

Techno: Bianca, I'm sad.

Bianca Nihachu: *Holds out arms for a hug* It's going to be okay.

Tommy: Bo, I'm sad.

Bo Underscore, nodding: mood.

-

Karl: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Tommy: You and me!!!

Karl, tearing up: Okay.

-

Wilbur: I turned out perfectly fine!

Tommy: Wilbur, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast.

Wilbur: I DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN'T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

-

Phil: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Techno: What's that?

Phil: You've never had leftovers???

Techno(grew up poor): No, because I'm not a quitter.

-

Tubbo: On a scale from "damn Daniel" to "fre sha vaca do", how are you feeling?

Ranboo: In between "it's an avocado, thanks" and "how did you defeat Captain America", but as a solid answer I would say "I don't need a degree to be a clothing hanger". How about you, Tommy?

Tommy: Probably "road work ahead".

Techno: I speak many languages, and this is none of them.

-

(These are for the sequel if I ever get around to it)

Wilbur, pretending to be General Soot of L'Manburg: What's up guys? I'm back.

Nemesis Nihachu: What the- you can't be here. You're dead. I literally saw you die.

Wilbur, sweating: Death is a social construct.

-

Tommy: You have to apologize to General Soot.

Wilbur: Fine.

Wilbur: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

-

General Soot: I really like this whole 'good guy, bad guy' thing you guys have going on.

Wilbur: It's not an act, it's just that I'm mean and Tommy isn't.

-

Wilbur: I think we're missing something.

Tommy: Teamwork?

Techno: Cohesion?

Nemesis: A general sense of what we're doing?

-

Tommy: Have you seen a person named 'Technoblade' around here?

Antarctic Empire Citizen: Ugh, yes. He made a horrible mess of the blood fountain.

Tommy: It looks fine to me?

Citizen: IT USED TO BE WATER!!!

-

General Soot: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Tommy: I've been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Tobias: I got distracted about halfway through.

Nemesis: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

Techno: Why is Wilbur so sad?

Tommy: He took one of those "Which L'Manburg-Era Historical Figure Are You?" quizzes.

Techno: And...?

Tommy: He got General Soot.

-

Tommy: Please, I'm begging you go to a doctor.

General Soot: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

-

General Soot, in a meeting: My policy is if you see something, say something.

Tobias: I saw a squirrel in a tree today!

Soot, with the tone of someone who is used to Tobias: Outstanding.

Soot: This is what I’m talking about people.

-

Wilbur: I'm 10 times funnier and sexier than you.

General Soot: 10 times 0 is still 0 though.

Wilbur: Joke's on you, I can't do math.

-

Tommy: Just be yourself.

Wilbur: 'Be myself'? Tommy, I have one day to win the L'Manburg soldiers over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Tommy: Couple weeks.

Phil: Six months.

Techno: Jury's still out.

Wilbur: See, Tommy?

Wilbur: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

-

General Soot: I'm an idiot.

Wilbur:

Tommy:

Nemesis:

Techno:

Soot:

Wilbur: If you're waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

-

Nemesis: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk?

Tommy: *sighing* "General Soot".

Wilbur, trying(and failing) to talk like Soot: Fuck shit up out there, but don't die.

Tobias: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

-

[queers-gambit]

hi cherry. i doubt you remember me but a while ago i messaged you on my private account because i had just received a really shitty medical diagnosis that you actually have and you've been really open about your own struggles about being disabled so young. so i felt safe to confide in you about what i was going through and you really helped me come to terms with reality, with my new normal (a term you actually used that changed the way i think about my situation).

well i saw a quote (i cant remember where or by who) along the lines of like "you don't know the violence i went through to be this gentle" and it reminded me of you because of how mature and humble and thoughtful you were (are) about your struggles. how even though the diagnosis changed your life you found the strength and ability to live as authentically as possible. no matter how different that looked everyday.

i remember you saying publicly and privately that you write fics to filter your emotion and put you in different head spaces, that it helps you create alternate realities to the one you're forced to live in daily. but that it helps you be a kinder, less burdened person in your face to face interactions too. i don't write fics i just like reading them but your advice really helped me discover journaling and it's been really beneficial as i went through treatment.

my now fiancé said something to me about how soft i am since the diagnosis and how she admires that but i remember how angry and bitter i was at first. then i reached out to you and you changed my entire perspective about being chronically ill and about how it's not worth focusing on what's "fair" but just getting better for myself. you said something like everyone has shit in their lives at different times but it takes a different kind of strength to let it humble you, not tear you apart, and that it's an everyday choice to heal and just be as okay as possible.

well i just wanted to let you know i'm officially in remission.

so i wanted to publicly thank you. not just for the fics that kept me company in the hospital but for being so kind, considerate, empathetic, understanding, genuinely supportive, and for checking on me even after we had that emotional conversation. i hope for your own remission if it hasn't come yet but also that you know, i credit you for helping me get to this point.

so yeah thank you. like a lot 🩷🥹

oh and love the new Joel fic. i can't wait to read the new ideas you have too!

oh, my God. there are real life tears down my face.

of course i remember you, sweetheart! this is crazy because i just thought of you the other day and meant to check in again, but you beat me to it!

i am speechless right now. you think i helped you? oh, baby, this message just made my fucking day, week, month, year, LIFE! i cannot put into words what this means to me. and i know the quote you're talking about, it's one of my favorites; it's one i like to revisit when i feel a little too in my head. or bitter. or stubborn. or hateful. or like i'm being walked all over by people. it reminds me the strength it takes to be positive in the constant face of adversary, which is all i strive to be. it's a personal battle to be nice when life keeps kicking me, but that's where i feel strongest and i'm so happy you could find that sort of balance, too.

i am so happy for you. nobody deserves this more than you! congratulations! i know it's been a long time coming, but it's finally here and i hope you can bask in it. i remember how upset you were, we spent hours just bitching about what this means; how fucking unfair it is; how life will change; how things won't ever be / feel the same after this. and now, look at you! engaged, in remission, and good God, do i hope you're happy! i sure am for you!

and i'm so proud of you! so fucking proud, you can't even understand! for hanging on, for staying strong, for not giving up. for finding peace in journaling. for getting YOURSELF to this point - i am so proud. so happy. so elated. i genuinely cannot stop my own tears, my heart is positively BURSTING for you right now. i wish i could hug you right now.

and the fact that you came back to my inbox instead of my messages? to make this a public thing? it means more to me than i can say. i am honestly so humbled. this is one of the reasons i love being a fic writer with this sort of platform; you never know who you'll connect with or the people that'll come into your life. or even the lives you'll touch, the emotions that'll follow.

i am so excited for what's to come, baby. you deserve peace and normalcy and prosperity, and fuck, do i hope the blessings don't stop for you.

thank you for not giving up. thank you for coming back. thank you for this message. thank you for the update. thank you for remembering me. thank you for being you. and thank you for your readership, i'm honored to provide in any degree.

for whatever it's worth, you are so very welcome.

come back anytime, sweetheart. whether my inbox or DM's, i'm here! God, i'm so happy for you. i love you. congratulations again!!!

all the blessings, all my gratitude, all i have, and all my love 🖤

[pastelclownkitty]

COMPASS GOD BLAST!! (aka i'm assuming you'll get at least one Trio question and *I* wanna know about Tempest)

The Four Compass Gods (even... eugh... Atlas...)

4, 9, 24, 25 :]

fair warning that ciaran and aeros are not built on much so most of this is made up on the spot. ok thanks stuff like this helps

4. What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

Aeros - Their immaturity. They try so hard to be cold and professional, he really does, but at the end of the day he's still rather childish and doesn't think things through as much as he likes to make it seem like he does. He is aware of this, he's been constantly reminded of it. It's why he tries so hard to fix it, or at least stop it from showing.

Ciaran - Their numbness. The way it causes them to stop taking things seriously and be apathetic in the face of consequences. They are well aware of it, but make no effort to fix it.

Atlas - Their temper. Atlas's anger quickly causes them to stop thinking rationally, instead exposing her impulsive and reckless side. Many people have told them to work on this, but Atlas refuses to accept that it is an issue.

Tempest - Their inability to move on. The way they cling to every past grudge, never allowing themselves to forget. They are aware of this but don't see it as a flaw.

9. Do you have a specific lyric or quote that you associate with your oc?

Aeros - "And then she smiled, and that's what I'm after, the smile in her eyes, the sound of her laughter."/"Next time you're praying, you'll be praying for me."/"Mother Earth's love whispered to me (and it wasn't her fault)."/"Look at the stars, in the big black ink. Tell me what you feel and tell me what you think. Is it cold outside? Is it cold?"

Ciaran - "Kind of like an addict, I let you win."/"Now I'm King, like you wanted me to be."/"I did what I had to do to survive, then I did a bunch of other shit I felt like doing."/"You became so focused on running the rat race and getting to that cheese, you didn't even think to look for the cracks. And I don't blame you! I'm just disappointed."/"Curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back."/"It's a quality of the gods to see a creature with its back broken and be unmoved."

Atlas - "'Cause you lost when your puppets reclaimed their lives!"/"I've been waiting for my lover to relieve me, but they're outside swinging from the oak tree!"/"Do not pray. Whatever the fuck you do, do not pray. Because the ones that are listening, you do not want them to answer."/"Everyone is a monster to someone. Since you are so convinced I am yours, I will be it."

Tempest - "There's a plan for us lunatics and liars, we have faulty gears and wires, they can't save us but they'll do the best they can!"/"I'd kill myself to get away from you, too."/"It was nice to know 'ya! We've all been damned, cmon!"/"Stop the peace and keep the violence!"/"I think I'll lose my mind in hysteria!"

24. What is an alternative life path your OC might have gone down? How different would their life be if they'd made those decisions?

Assuming they all didn't become god and continued their lives like normal:

Aeros - Would have ended up completely alone and aimless, with absolutely nothing to their name. There was nothing for them besides his Fate.

Ciaran - Honestly, he would have wound up in jail had they not become a god. They would not have kept getting away with everything for much longer.

Atlas - He and Venus planned on moving far away together. Atlas most likely would've gotten a job as a gravedigger, and Venus would have loved to work at a flower shop or as a fashion designer. Venus could have kept him out of jail long enough for them to live happily.

Tempest - Most likely also would have wound up in jail. Either that or a psych ward, which is probably the more realistic option. Though I could also see them ending up kidnapped by some unfortunate enemies they happened to make. No matter what, it wouldn't have gone well for them. Not that anything in Scilita's life ever went well.

25. What is your favorite thing about your OC?

Aeros - Silly deer guy!!! Silly anxious deer guy!!! Serious answer, his temper. I love pissed-off Aeros. Pissed-off Aeros my beloved. He deserves it.

Ciaran - How intelligent she really is, and how silly she acts not despite it but because of it. That smug, playful attitude of theirs. God, in another universe they and Eucharis would be best friends.

Atlas - His emptiness. His longing to feel whole again. How childish he really is. Everything that godly, untouchable attitude is protecting. Everything he does to distract himself from it.

Tempest - Their bitchy attitude, how little filter they have (while also having an extremely strong filter), the moment where that mask slips and they're left unbelievably vulnerable in their rage.

[modern-inheritance]

Human Rider Changes

Brom wasn't altered the way Eragon was, but in MIC I'm gonna say even the human Riders were altered by the bond, beyond the slightly more elfish appearance and pointed ears.

Over time Humans start getting the more pointed tooth shape that unaltered elves are born with. It takes FAR longer, but they also start to grow a very thin version of the controllable tapetum lucidum, but most can't use it the way elves can at will.

Human Riders also begin to get faster reflexes, larger energy stores, slightly higher than normal strength and endurance for their physiques, increased night vision in general, and I really really want to say longer periods of high neuroplasticity (ease of learning, adaptations, etc) going further into adulthood (though neuroplasticity IS seen in adults, it's not to the extent seen in childhood, but don't quote me on that I haven't read up on it very much lately) but I don't have a reason for that really. I feel like elves naturally keep a fairly high level of neuroplasticity, maybe some effect of dragons ancestral memories (god damn i wanna explore that too and for some reason I think it would lead me to papers and fish and birds and I'm....I'm not up for that just yet).

Magic use can speed up these changes, though it's still a very gradual process. One of the risk factors, however, is that while their strength is not terribly increased, there's still a posibility that their strength can be dangerous to them. Magic use is typically restricted to practice and training while being taught by masters so that explosive use of magic won't lead to a far faster increase in strength, before the bones have adapted to it.

Elves, when they have access to it, incorporate a leafy green called Tinleaf into their diets, along with a variety of (currently unnamed, let me cook) fruits and other vegge that grow in Du Weldenvarden and were brought to the Rider's island. Tinleaf and these other foods are high in dietary titanium, nickel chloride/sulfate, and zirconium silicate, all used in their bone structure which incoperates alloys that allow them to be so resistant to their strength without shattering bones by walking and hitting things. When out of the forest/not around sources of these food/plants, elves have supplements they can take if without natural sources for too long.

wait what was i talking about

OH.

These changes are why Arya is still a bit baffled/confused when she's with the Varden and learning of all these things these humans can't do/don't have going on with their bodies. Brom's changes were still early stage, but he still had some, and she just kinda assumed they were all like that. She was practically a kid at that point, confused why the books she read didn't mention any of that stuff, and then Caleb, Sam, Simon and the rest are having to explain a LOT.

I also found it both jarring and a nice reminder when reading Murtagh (shhhh look okay I just want the fancy cover one and then I'll finish it the ADHD is not good with these things I can't just sit and read anymore it's painful and I don't know why. You know what, send me a hurricane, knock my power out for a week, and I'll finish it before the deluxe release.) that Eragon is NOT the norm for human Riders. He is not human anymore. He is more elf. His strength and energy stores are FAR beyond what human Riders were capable of, unless i just haven't reached some plot twist yet.

I would say that it made the Forsworn make so much more sense, but a VAST majority of the Forsworn we know were elves. Human Riders could have had so much resentment towards their elven counterparts, even with their partners by their side and all the gifts the bonding gave them, it could have been almost crushing to see what elf Riders could do even without formal training.

I wanted/want to put Murtagh on somewhat more even footing after the war in MIC. Without Galbatorix's spells, he's still far more human than Eragon, but he's stronger than any other human man of his size, stature and physique, he's faster, he learns faster, and he can maintain and cast spells well beyond what a regular human mage can, even with training. With more Ancient Language under his belt, more time with Thorn, more practice, he would be (and is) well beyond anything any human could accomplish even with both training for decades and a wealth of natural talent.

Maybe at some point a more significant though still gradual increase in strength, speed, ect, all the elfy things, is introduced to the Rider Bond using the Word/the Name. Resentment from the non-elven students is something I worry about if other Rider species/races are left with nothing to put them at an equal level.

this got off the rails. whoops.

[impossibleobservationkryptonite]

Library Rules:

To quote Davy Jones "well they're more guidelines than rules".

What I've learned in time (thus far) working as a librarian and what you can do as a patron.

If you want the TLDR: you can just read the bolded stuff if you want! :)

I swear to god you're allowed to do everything in a library normally if you don't have a library card. The only thing you're not allowed to do is take items home with you. So what can you do instead? Read it here. Watch the movie here (most of the time the people who work here will let you have a guest pass for the computer, and then don't ask you what you're doing with your time on the computer.) (unless you're watching porn. Don't watch porn on a public computer because we will kick you out for the day minimally.)

Come to a Program! Again you do not need a library card to come to our programs. They're chill, they're Gucci. We have so much fun stuff for you to do here. And it's FREE. (To the one person who might see this and be like "BUT MY TAXES!" yeah, your taxes paid for this, why aren't you utilizing the library? Why don't you have your library card? Why aren't you coming to my sick sick writing programs, or my awesome D&D programs?)

Children say odd shit. I had one kid tell me as he was sprinting to a computer, while holding a guest pass to be able to log onto the computer, "I'm gonna shove this up your bootyhole!". He said that verbatim, and honestly respect kid. but also like, hey, I'm just helping you get on the computer, relax. Also if you're going to be working consistently with kids/teens (like me), they're hilarious and are usually much more understanding than the adults.

Every library is different when it comes to creating a program. We have to normally plan months in advance to be able to do something. At the library I'm at we're planning for programs three months ahead while currently running our November Programs.

You can ask questions that you think are stupid. They're not. I promise they're not. I have had people ask me if they can have a sticker while looking at the sign that says "free stickers!!!! HERE!!" Most of the time we'll probably want to research your question and get stoked (or at least I will) by being able to research about whatever you're interested in. (Please ask us what we like to learn about in our free time.)

Sometimes, the book is checked out, because someone got to it before you. Them's the breaks man, we can't go to the person who check it out, and ask them to check it back in so we can check it out to you. However, we can put you on the list to be able to read it next. WITH YOUR LIBRARY CARD. Please get a library card. Can you tell how super chill I am about getting a library card?

Fun Fact! A lot of libraries will let you have temporary library cards. For example you can get a New York Public Library digital card (a temporary one) for 2-3 weeksish before having to go in and getting a physical card. So use it for the couple of weeks! Listen to an audio book!

Another one! I have so many. I'm sorry. You do not need an Audible subscription to be able to read eBooks or listen to Audiobooks on your phone. Use Libby! Just input your library card on the app, and use it like a regular library card. You have to wait until it's your turn (like physical copies of library materials), and then you have the 2-3 weeks to be able to listen to your stuff or read your eBook! And if your library does Hoopla, it's basically the exact same as Libby, however it's only 8 items rather than however many you can check out at once on a library card. Hoopla is a bit more convoluted than that, but if you want to know more just ask!

That's all I got right now. Sorry for the long post. :')