#the question on all our minds
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idk how I haven't considered this before but AMBROSE AND JUDE???? OH???? YES PLEASE
SEE YES!!! I agree!!!! They are so well suited because thereâs that mental block between them bc theyâre both telepaths so they have to interact like normal, unpowered people to each other, but theyâre still both acting like theyâre better than the other and that could lead to some âšDELICIOUSLY EXQUISITEâš chemistry and tension!!!!
Especially because theyâre both puppet masters, like can you imagine the two of them fighting over who was bossing who around??? Which was the dom?? Like they would kill each other, honestly theyâd have to both be switches unless one of them just loves shoving the other against the wallâŠđđđ
#really#all we wanna know is#who is Ambrose fucking?#the question on all our minds#There is so much potential with the two of them#They need a ship name too#Jambrose?#Jumbrose#Jumbro#Judbro#Juskar?#ooooh I like Juskar#Joskar#Joskar is better tho#Judkar#judkar sounds like juglar#where they both would reach for#THEY BOTH REACHED FOR THE GUN#Mmmmmmm#idk#tbd#intoxicating fear discussion
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before october 7th this blog was a meme page btw.
#don't you think it's so odd how so many palestinians on tumblr were just minding their own business and having fun#and all of a sudden the genocide started and we started dedicating all our time#to helping and start educating people#only for people to start questioning us and harassing us in the most parasocial ways#and now about half of us are deciding not to share about our personal lives or our interests anymore#because we can't be granted the opportunity to actually have personalities outside of our suffering.#a look into our personal lives is a privilege and all of you abused it#all of this is due to the fact that none of you consider us as actual human beings#even if you're âalliesâ to the palestinian cause. you still dehumanize us to hell and back#i wish you all could see me as someone who is just like you.
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I'm cautiously gearing myself up for a conversation with bff where I tell her that we need to recalibrate our relationship, and....I genuinely don't think I've ever had a serious, emotional conversation with someone I care about before.
I've never been a Conversation Haver; I tend to take the approach that people can't significantly change without meaningful reason, and since I am not and never have been someone's Reason, I cannot prompt change. Therefore, my choices are (a) live with what is; or (b) end/limit the relationship.
But....this is my best friend in the world. I do love her. I just can't keep on as we've been going, where it's less a friendship and more ten minute intervals where I talk about my life, after which the focus switches. I once sat in a bar for two hours waiting for her; afterwards, she asked if I wanted to stay in her hotel room like I didn't have to get up in another 5 hours and drive to work. She texted me during my recent trips, and when I said I was traveling she asked no further questions. Said nothing unless it was about what she was reading, what she was doing. I'm not even sure she realized I was traveling at all, just unavailable to her.
I can give a high-level summary of her PhD thesis. I'm not confident she knows where I work.
Truthfully, part of this is that we simply have different social styles....but still. Coming back from my family trip, I said I was tired and trying to get work straightened out, she should go ahead and plan something for the holiday! I was free! Only for me to text a week later....and promptly have her join me, for my previously standalone plans. Oh, and she asked me to bring my camera, because she wants headshots for her new job.
I still love her very much, but if this is the kind of relationship we're going to have? I need less of it.
#I've been trying to script this conversation for two weeks.#doing dishes and talking to myself trying to get the wording right.#dumping my laundry in the washer and stating ''I know grad school requires a lot of self-focus but''#''and if this is all you feel comfortable doing now that's fine!'' I mutter to myself while vacuuming#''our relationship can adjust'' I sigh to my pillows at night. ''but I need to know that's what you want.''#(.......I didn't actually mind sitting the bar. the guy on the next stool over was a theoretical mathematician#working on cryptography. so it was a good conversation.#but that's my point! I can have a good conversation with anyone. I am a champion asker of questions.#I need bff to figure out how to ask me questions of me so occasionally I can be the one talking.)#celestial emporium of benevolent knowledge
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is PCRF still where you recommend people donate, or do you have another recommended group? I would like to donate but havenât had time to do research.
(In reference to fundraising campaign I did for PCRF)
One of the most important things I have learned about conflict and healthcare and devastation, from someone who deals with them for their living, is that it is fractal, each piece of it containing unimaginable complexity, and that as a human you canât really deal much with fractals that get more complex than, like, ferns. I am oversimplifying here. But the thing is that you cannot get bogged down endlessly in debating the nature of fractals. You decide on the level of complexity you can manage , perform an action and move on. You cannot take responsibility for every mathematical pattern that follows from your action; if you were a sort of cosmic weatherman, affecting the fates of people youâve never met through some vague alchemy of intention, youâd know about it already. Therefore do not obsess too much over The Good Place levels of ethics and research, spiralling into fractals in search of the perfect. Therefore, also, if you want to give ÂŁ2 to someone, feel free to ignore people who say âah but if you give ÂŁ2 to that guy theyâll spend it on something bad, and the whole fractal is rotten and broken.â You can only ever claim your own actions, a small piece of the fractal: to insist on your power over distant pieces of mathematical patterns is bonkers. It is religious nonsense. This is what Iâve learned and I thought it was pretty good, from someone whoâd know.
So I believe the Palestine Childrenâs Relief Fund is not able to operate in Gaza at the moment, like many non-profits; I believe Medeciens Sans Frontiers arenât in Gaza at the moment and thatâs pretty dire indicator. However, they are mobilised in Lebanon.
The reasons why I selected PCRF to support include the fact that they have been able to deliver material aid, had pragmatic routes to evacuate children, and were reporting some success in providing/stabilising healthcare infrastructure. They have stated from the beginning that their intent was to support, and ideally restore, healthcare infrastructure, without which you cannot run a nation. I have known healthcare professionals who traveled with PCRF to work on complex cases prior to this conflict and I personally know/respect one of their prominent supporters, which helped me to make this choice. I also was hoping in the future that Gaza would have restored healthcare infrastructure and PCRF had stated their commitment to doing so.
I have received and listened to criticism about this choice, and I firmly believe that no matter what choice you make to support a cause, youâll receive some measure of criticism (the fractal! Elodie you must consider the fractal nature of reality at all times! Scrupulous frantic morality is necessary at all times !), and that this should not stop you. To explain a bit about this, the criticisms Iâve received have mostly fallen into two camps:
- âthe wrong sort of charityâ - one concern is PCRF are not able to promise that their work will never support Hamas supporters or their families. This has been raised as âPCRF support Hamasâ. but genuinely, given the realities of conflict, it is not practical or sane to require that people bring proof of political affiliation when seeking healthcare for their children. Iâm comfortable saying that this, like other risks of fundraising/donation, is always possible but not a major consideration for me.
- âthe wrong sort of fundraiserâ - conversely some people stated theyâd prefer I support individual families seeking evacuation through GFMs. This is also fine but my choice in the charity was partly in thinking about families who do not have GFMs, and children who do not have families. I also felt, at the time of fundraising, that supporting healthcare infrastructure was very worthy in a different way - after all, at the time the same people doing GFMs were also using/needing what healthcare was available.
My shoulders are broad, and Iâm comfortable with these criticism. I am fully aware that this is not a complete solution but I personally continue to support the charity. I am explaining this to indicate that there will always be criticisms; you must accept that you can only take a small piece of the fractal, and you must accept that quite a lot of the fractal was never in your gift to control.
The situation is constantly changing and with the departure of organisations there is genuinely less hope of materially restoring the infrastructure in Gaza. At the moment donations to PCRF will likely be mobilised to Lebanon. It may be that this speaks to you. It does still speak to me.
Ultimately while itâs important to do research, it is always going to become fractal, especially in conflict situations. Nobodyâs ever going to be able to point to a perfect thing that will fix everything and absolve us of criticism, you know? You will always only be able to pick up a piece of the fractal.
Now moving away from âwhat I personally supportâ there are many people more informed than myself and I would like to direct you to them as well. @gothhabiba is someone I follow who has posted several very useful posts about this and has been extremely informative, and spent a lot of time and attention on this, so I would defer to the resources and fundraisers theyâve put together. Her response to a similar question has been âpick 1-3 personal fundraisersâ - this is a piece of the fractal. At the moment if what you want to do most is âmaterially help people in Gazaâ that seems like the best option.
Also he doesnât post much on social media, but when you get the opportunity to read a scientific article or anything by https://x.com/sullivanprof itâs worth stopping and processing. To me, Richardâs life work really shows how a piece of the fractal unpacks to reveal the whole world. I think if you have emotional space to research, itâs honestly a good investment to read some of his âmanifestosâ on intersections of healthcare and conflict.
#sorry if this is incoherent there are much better people to ask but I recognise that#by doing a fundraiser it is a very reasonable question#also genuinely the thing about Richard is that he is just so not bogged down by the same concerns youâll see on social media#like#thatâs a guy who just flies into warzones and starts treating people#and when you chat to a guy who does that then a lot of stuff on the internet about how much your ÂŁ2#like how much tiny little intentions and ÂŁ3 donations and tumblr posts and like. ao3 tags affect reality#it does put it into perspective. of course it does make a difference but the stuff that actually affects the material world is largekynmat#largely material and it usually looks like a random guy who just. goes. into warzones and treats people. and then stands up in front of#the seats of power and tells them.#and goes to conferences and teaches them.#and he does not worry about ao3 tags at all.#ultimately Iâm trying to get at that the paralysis about the complexities of situations is genuine and true#but itâs also very much a state of mind that supports the seat of power#so recognise that a lot of it isnât in our gift to control and move on with what we can and do control
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i needed to express a sentiment in the creative stylings of @dunmeshiminimumwage
#eliot posts#dunme#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#sorry to put toshiro in the roll of shitty job interviewer lmao#but he was the best fit for ''guy that wants me to read their mind''#laios being my internal monologue here#i was on my THIRD interview of the day i was Dying#tho since the prev two interviews i had were for similar positions and told me their salaries outright at least i could use that number#(though tbh my work persona is more of a kabru. my customer service voice is unparalleled)#(at my first job even my coworkers thought i was sooo cheerful til i got too comfy and casually made a joke abt wanting to asphyxiate on a#plastic shopping bag like a sea turtle. in front of my sweet elderly coworker. oops!)#(also this job was during quarantine and after weeks of working together i took my mask off in front of one coworker for the first time#and she called like half the department over from their registers to look at how pretty i was??? prettyboy powers unmatched ig)#(also my first interview today went SO well i charmed that interviewer so good despite my lack of qualifications)#(she even complimented my social skills and said i seemed like the type who could get along well and make good conversation with anyone!)#(which is important bc i was interviewing for an elder care position. also old people especially tend to think i am a Delightful Young Lad)#(unless i accidentally make a morbid joke around them ig lmaooo. or. well. some of them like those too. but not that one coworker lol)#(if only that skill transferred over to actually making friends irl. my autistic ass has so few close irl connections)#(i hope my exceedingly short list of character references does not prevent me from getting hired)#AND ALSO my first job asked the same wage question and i said twelve dollars#and they were like all our new employees start at 7.75#the union insists that we pay all new employees a whopping 50 cents above min wage. (we'd pay less if we could)#like dawg why did you ask that then??? if my answer did not matter at all???
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Want to know what I believe? It's right here
Dig a little deeper and it's crystal clear
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(WIP)
#atla#avatar the last airbender#zuko#atla fanart#prince zuko#atla art#clear#twenty one pilots#wip#atla zuko#baby zuko#agni kai#Some random general#I have literally nine projects going on#And I started this thing today *sigh*#Good news! If I have the chance to work on it then it'll be ready tomorrow#Be prepared for some angst#fire hazard siblings#This for you two my sweet little turtleducks#You know those moments when you're listening to a random song and a particular lyric just *smacks you in the face*#Well...yeah#I present to you: TĂP x ATLA#Because I can#And because Clear is SO Zuko/Royal Family/Iroh coded it's not even funny#I mean#âWhere's your home? Where are you going and why are you here? Have you asked these questions? Have you been sincere?â#âI will tell you what I can but your mind will take a stand. I sing of a greater love. Let me know when you've had enough.â#If these aren't the most Iroh lines you have ever read then *takes out a gun* our deal is off#âIntrospection is the name of this session. Spread this infection. Reflect it on the next one the next one the next one.â#âAnd when we're done we'll all have made something new under the Sun.â
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somewhat satisfied with this... pretty butterfly man...
#didnt want to diverge too drastically from his canon palette#but butterflies never retain their caterpillar colors so. blue-green & pink howdy supremacy#and a lot of butteflies have black bodies/legs and also dark gradients on arms/hands Absolutely Fucks#so he gets fancy black gradients! and cool wings!#his wings were a Bitch to do ngl#also fluff... butterfly fluff...#in my mind the back of his hindwings have big ol eyespots on em & smaller ones on the forewings#which you can kind of see#scribble salad#welcome home#welcome home puppet show#howdy pillar#yassified howdy <3#i didnt have to make him pink. but i did. for all of our sakes.#pink/teal is The color combo no i dont take criticism. im right.#its like the bad bitch version of red/blue#WAIT IMPORTANT QUESTION. googling if butterfly fluff is soft#probably... ive always been too scared of hurting them to pet the ones ive caught/held#theyre not as sturdy as moths or bees. both of which are very soft and i wish they were dog-sized#so i could have a honeybee pet.#GETTING OFF TOPIC ONCE AGAIN#howdy Is very sturdy tho! so it'd be totally safe to-#actually yknow what im gonna stop right there
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Ok. I have listened to the people. I have watched the thing. It is very wholesome.
Kazu comes home. He is hopeless and tipsy. And he swings between excited and wasted.
#I am SICK of Miriâs voice ngl#I know kids are loud. And make a mess of EVERYthing. Thatâs why i stay away.#But for Kazurei ; I made it to the end#They are precious#Rei is so cute I love this guy#He has 0 human skill and still is effortlessly hilarious and a little cutie đđ#i wish we had more of their relationship bc they have sth really special#They never question their trust in each other like it never crosses their mind. They disagree almost all the time but they never part#Itâs more natural than breathing. Theyâre always saying stuff like « itâs not fit to involve other people in our way of life »#itâs not even an option to live apart. They clearly will spend all their lives together#Except that scene itâs so weird when Kazu says « hum with Miri gone we donât have a reason to live together anymore » lol man#Not as if you guys were already joined at the hip before meeting her. But I get the «the family life changed us now sthâs missing#and it feels incomplete ». But still guys. You are soul mates.#Also the « of course he comes with me. Heâs my partner. » line đđ#even if at some point they meant to part ways ; really they canât be separated.#kazurei#No homo daddies#Buddy daddies#kazuki x rei#Domestic gays
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i donât know what you guys are all complaining about i love that svu has vaporized olivia from woman on the verge to lady cragen
#she's behind the desk she's giving advice she's scolding the kids#she has a life we know nothing about but we know she's Seen It All and also is Lonely#i haven't been saying much about this season because here is the humiliating truth:#i am letting the cop show make me sad#(i should know better)#yes the lack of eo is a bummer but we've done it before we'll do it again#but having a season of genuinely interesting character work re olivia#to have the narrative directly engage with her as a soft furious grieving woman#to question her state of mind and what she does to herself in service of The Calling#only to not simply backtrack but neutralize her fullyâŠ#yeesh#is it a coincidence m has barely spoken a word about svu on any press appearances this season?#well no because what is there to say really#this is not a landmark season and there are zero plans to move olivia forward#sheâs right where we left her tune into nbc thursdays at 8pm eastern#BUT what makes me most sad is that this shift was a demand from the viewers#(again! i should know better! and yet!)#i am just. a little heartbroken to have it confirmed that much of the audience loves olivia on the condition that she is Good#not only because she very much isn't#but also because that is boring and dangerous and speaks to our deeply warped perception of what it means to be a complete person#more specifically a complete woman#yet the audience lets out a sigh of relief! saint olivia is back! she is a Strong Woman giving Lawfully Good advice! phew!#remember when she was a little broken and volatile and seeing ghosts donât worry sheâs fixed now :)#please note my reaction is certainly tied to other real life happenings including 11/5 looming#alas itâs where i am#anyways dw youâre a loser
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why do you write? what do you think about, what drives you?
passion love grief rage spite confusion loneliness community shame boredom perfectionism fun because i dont know how to stop
#ive written stories ever since i learnt TO write. i remember being no older than 6/7 writing pages and pages worth#of a story about my cat and the adventures he got up to with the fairies in our garden#in year 6 i won an award for writing in year 7 i got published in a poetry anthology#in year 8 my writing was such a massive part of me and my emotions that i swore off using my laptop#(which had been and still is what i use to write)#for 2 whole YEARS bc i convinced myself at that age that my mind was evil#and therefore my writing was evil. and i still have a lot of that shame w me ive talked about it a lot on here#but u know what? in those 2 years where i refused to open a document and write 'properly'#all that happened was i wrote on my phone in my notes app. even when i thought it was disgusting and forbidden and bad#i still couldn't help it. i kept it as a dirty secret even when i was convinced it would be genuinely physically damaging#and i cant even really say why. i just had to. and now im here a decade later. still writing#i cant really answer your question bc the response is too large too heavy too all-encompassing#writing is everything to me and it always has been. that includes every single bad thing but every good thing too#i hate it and love it and want it dead and need it to hold my hand and it will always be some sort of surgery#and it's just a silly hobby. do u get it#ask
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whenever i read fics i always end up thinkin of a song for the fic or like, th chapter and then i canr stop associating the fic w/ those songs
#i listen to sm fckn music tht all the songs end up bein wildly diff too#ong i cld make playlists for multi ch fics#*stares at electric rebels*#actually u know what#i will#here r some songs:#our song by matchbox twenty is (early ch) electric rebels treemina coded#butterfly by bts (song is abt the fear of losing a person and in electric rebels this is very much true#everyone has the fear of not only losing their lives but losing their family(+found) as well#time is very much sacred n stuff like that)#humming by turnover (thr lyrics âwith you ill make it out aliveâ sold me on this one)#viva la vida by coldplay specifically for the capital students because of how disillusioned theyve become due to the games#and forming relationships w/ their tribute#really good examples are vipsania and hilarius#rhythm of love by plain white t's makes me think of all the good moments treech n lamina have had despite their circumstances#(its also just a them song in general)#young volcanoes by fall out boy for the tributes!!! it seems light a more lighthearted victory song almost?#a âwe will persevereâ thing but more full of complete happiness#think abt the scene of teslee mizzen n treech running down the hill in jubilation (obvs before shit went down)#would that i by hozier just makes me think of when treech first met lamina up in the tree#which witch by florence + the machine is definitely for vipsania just before & after the bombing (aspen too but to a lesser degree almost)#âwhos a heretic nowâ âim miles away hes on my mindâ yeahhhh#love grows (where my rosemary goes) by edison lighthouse is jst a rlly good treemina song#rousseau by nerina pallot is a good fpr one of the main questions in the fic âare we really born free?â#(no. theyre not they have to work for that freedom. rousseaus main theory specifically the idea of it works really well for this fic#and the hunger games in general)#the promise by when in rome seems to work especially for treech and how he interacts with the others#he always seems to make promises - that theyll live - that he wont leave - that hell take care of the living for the deceased#this ended up sm longer than intended i reached the TAG LIMIT#basil.txt
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HAVE WE ESCAPED THE NARRATIVE YET
#a question all our fictives have to ask ourselves..........#have we lost the plot? are we TOO different from where we began? does it MATTER?#we're real people right? we're gonna change and grow?#so it shouldn't matter ultimately yeah?? but alas.#i think it's really funny being me cuz the fandom's like 'aww heart is a widdle BABY! uwu' and im like#i have killed Mind twice in the past 2 weeks LMAO i am an adult that does fantasy taxes.#i dont know wuere the fandom got the idea that im a helpless CHILD but it's wrong. anyways i think I've lost the plot BOTH ways!#what was i talking about? doesn't matter lmao#pk;m heartđ
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idk i do need to think more abt how ppls personal experiences interact w their Fandom Behaviors esp now that im less caught up in a specific fandom that was rlly bad about that lol
#txt#bc yeah sometimes it is rlly cathartic to see a character whos similar to someone who hurt you get hurt or even just portrayed as a villain#but at the same time its rare that ppl distinguish like. attempted objectivity & their subjective opinions on tumblr specifically lol#which i think leads to a lot of resentment#granted there r some people who ARE actually that crazy/fandom poisoned who do think like. e.g. liking rhea means you would have forgiven my#- irl abusive priest or whatever. & theres a good chance that fandom culture also creates such people. in like a vicious cycle yknow.#but idk im just spitballing#again just an example but. i dont rlly think i should have to write I Don't Have Religious Trauma Which Allows Me To Love Rhea before saying#- that i do love her & think some of her more questionable actions r not as unforgivable as many people make them out to be#which in turn means that ppl who dislike her shouldnt have to say I Have Religious Trauma And Therefore Etc.#but like. idk. maybe the proper conduct here is just whatever leads u to treat other people with the most kindness#i think all of us should keep our minds more open
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have some screenshots of me finishing arc 2, taken directly from discord
#wizard101#also please don't mind the profanity#i was amped up on the fact i finally got my butt in gear to finally complete arc 2 despite much dillydallying#which was... i think almost 2 years of effort? likely less but it still took a long time#also the channel in question is a sort of specialty channel for a small friend group server i'm in#specifically bc we all acknowledge that everyone has different interests in that server#n that it's easier to talk abt said interests in our own little spots#so the channel i was liveposting into was pretty much made for me to chatter abt stuff
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âit would be meaningless if the citizens of the hidden leaf are deadâÂ
WHO is this root operative??? i need to know more
danzo is listening to this like âgod no not another one whoâs ready to have a life-changing chance encounter forcing them to re-examine their ideology and reject their misguided beliefs in favor of joining hatake kakashiâs found family; not againâ
#naruto#pan watches naruto (again)#*#padmerrie and i got to this point in our rewatch last night and we both looked at each other like WHO IS THIS#in all seriousness though this is so interesting#in that it shows that there are other root members who are starting to ask Questions#like yamato did years ago#and like sai did more recently#i spend a lot of time thinking about post-4th war root#and about the enormous challenge of reaching them/connecting with them and rehabilitating/reintegrating them into society#and this makes me wonder if pain's attack had a similar effect on them that (in my own mind) sakumo's suicide had on the general population#in that it's a bit of a wake-up call#and even though it doesn't revolutionize society overnight it does make people start questioning certain things#and maybe make them more receptive to potential changes in the future#(and unrelatedly it's also really interesting to see how few agents there are here. only 16 in this scene)#(i'm sure danzo has some others scattered around doing his dark bidding in other lands)#(but i also assume that he's currently speaking to all the agents available in the village right now)#(and that makes sense bc if the foundation was officially 'disbanded' it would have been much harder for danzo to acquire new recruits)#(it's just interesting to think of the foundation as kind of a dwindling force)#(and danzo's bid for hokage as a kind of last-ditch desperate power grab)#(because his ideology IS losing and being pushed out in favor of changemakers like kakashi and naruto and tsunade etc)#(and popular opinion is changing with them)
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do y'all ever think about how much we don't have to do any of this
do y'all ever think about how we could just collectively agree to stop living in a way that makes everyone so miserable, rich pieces of shit included
do y'all think about how the pressure to do what everyone else does to fit in/be accepted, sunk cost fallacy, and the fear of the unknown are enough to enable a needlessly painful lifetime of the blind leading the blind literal billions of times over
do y'all think about the western obsession with individuality and the oxymoronic expectation to do everything the same way as everyone else does it, under threat of ostracization, of oppression, of imprisonment, of death
do y'all think about what would happen if the collective We paused for a fucking moment and stopped doing things purely out of habit and momentum and actually thought about why we are still doing them
#i dont have the answer to how to Fix Everything#but my hot take is that I have never worked anywhere that has had enough workers#to not have to find coverage for someone who is out for the day#the absence of even one is always noticeable even in larger workplaces and even/especially for the lowest paying entry level work#anyway. unemployment is at 4%. even accounting for scabs... can you imagine what it would look like#if just 1 in 20 of us miserable and exhausted people decided to... just not participate#it's not like people don't do that individually already and it's not like most of us don't want to!#this is deeply oversimplified obviously. I'm venting to no one in particular for a sec on a funny little blog bc it's been on my mind#that we are all autopiloting through our misery because we don't know how to change#or how to trust other people to stand with us#but it could be different. we could live better than this and the only thing in the way of it#is the default refusal to examine or question our own ideologies because it's just easier not to#but like. is it really?
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