#the queen of trash has commented

[the-voice-of-night-vale]

[ID:

The first is a tweet from @ filmupdates: "Kristen Stewart and Oscar Isaac to star in vampire thriller "FLESH OF THE GODS' from Panos Cosmatos.

It follows a married couple, Raoul (Isaac) and Alex (Stewart), who descend each evening from their luxury skyscraper condo and head into an electric nighttime realm of 80's LA."

The second is a comment from user ayoedebiri reading "I'm seated. The theater employees are scared and asking me to leave because it's "not August yet" but I'm simply too seated."

The third is a screenshot of a tweet from @ fucktyler: "Un-Follow Me Now, This Is Gonna Be the Only Thing I Tweet About For The Next Week. Ive Wanted This For Years Fuck. What The Fuck.]

amazing news for the bisexual community

"oscar isaac" "kristen stewart" "vampire" "thriller" "80s" ???? please

[edwardteachswombtattoo]

"Namby-Pamby in a Silk Gown": Our Flag Means Death, Toxic Masculinity, Queer Culture, and the Feminine Man

So. Masculinity. Piracy. Our Flag Means Death. Gentlebeard. Izzy. Colonialism. What the heck does all this mean?

I've watched a lot of queer media in my life, from John Waters movies to more contemporary modern queer cinema like "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" and "The Handmaiden". I even watched through all six seasons of "The L Word". I had the original DVD box set and everything. But when I think of queer cinema, I think of camp. I think of old classics from the seventies and eighties and nineties. The Watermelon Woman, To Wong Foo, But I'm a Cheerleader!, Female Trouble, etc.

Our Flag Means Death is very camp. I'm not comparing it to classic queer cinema, it's a completely different experience from, say, watching a John Waters movie. But the show clearly pulls influence from classic queer cinema, at the very least for aesthetic purposes, i.e. Wee John's drag look in "Calypso's Birthday" heavily inspired by drag queen Divine. What makes Our Flag Means Death unique is it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness for a show made so long after artful sincerity and unabashed queerness have become "taboo" in Western cinema.

This isn't me trashing modern queer cinema and modern queer fiction. I immensely enjoyed The Handmaiden and Badhaai Do, two excellent pieces of queer cinema that have come out within the past decade. Our Flag Means Death has entered the coveted position of best queer TV show I've personally seen in a very long time because of it's artful sincerity and unabashed queerness, not because it's better than anything that came before it...because it's not better or worse than anything that came before it! OFMD is it's own thing, it's own vibe, it's own story.

Our Flag Means Death is a story. And you can either engage with the story as written or engage only with certain small parts of it. The disconnect between audience and writers (and I say this as a writer myself) is that writers (most of them anyway) write stories for a media literate audience. But fundamentally, you do not need to reach a certain threshold of media literacy before you are allowed to engage with a story...you just engage. And this is both bad and good. No one should be barred from engaging with a story because they won't get it or even can't get it. Because if we prevent people who don't get it from engaging with the text, how are they ever going to learn how to engage with the text? They won't, is the answer. You can't gaslight gatekeep girlboss people into media literacy.

Our Flag Means Death is not a complex story. It's very straightforward. If you do not understand what the story is doing, it's not because you're being tricked or lied to: it's because, somewhere along the line, you've misunderstood. So when the story isn't making sense, it's useful to ask yourself: is this bad writing or have I misunderstood what's being said? And sometimes it is bad writing! Sometimes it is! But which is more likely: it's all bad writing or I've personally misunderstood what the story is trying to do? If you don't understand what a story is doing, all these little moments might look like bad writing--because your brain does not know what's happening! Your brain is trying to put a puzzle together but the pieces are all flipped over so you can't see the actual picture!

What is Our Flag Means Death is trying to do? If it's trying to do anything at all, what is it? And why does it make perfect sense for some people while others are confused, angry, even upset? And do they have a right to be? Fundamentally, if you think a story is trying to do something and it's failing at that, you have a right to be upset--and stories have a right to try and fail! That does not necessarily make the story objectively bad!

Our Flag Means Death is trying to commentate on masculinity. Like the oft misunderstood Fight Club (coincidentally, Fight Club was written by a gay man). This is relevant. It's actually all very relevant. There is a difference between what Our Flag Means Death is attempting to do vs. what it actually does. And the line between is thin to the point of nonexistence. The discussion surrounding masculinity and what it means to be a man is just so vast, so entangled with white colonialism and imperialism and racism that any discussion requires an understanding of how these systems function. And Our Flag Means Death invites this discussion--perhaps not intentionally, but it's there. It has to be there. We can't talk about what it means to be a man without talking about race. You cannot write a story featuring an indigenous brown man that partially centers masculinity without at least grazing these topics, intentionally or unintentionally.

This show is a comedy. A romantic comedy. I know that. We all know that. It's not going to spend forty minutes talking about race and colonialism. What it is going to do is have an indigenous man choke out a white colonizer while reading a love letter from his foppy fem boyfriend. What it is going to do is have little Ed murder his abusive white father to protect his mother. What it is going to do is have a bunch of British colonizers die horrifically after being poisoned by a black woman whose establishment they took over. What it is going to do is have Stede burn down a ship full of racist aristocrats while making sure we (the audience) see the servants escaping on a boat in the background while several of the aforementioned aristocrats jump off the burning ship to their probable deaths.

ed you are so fucking hot holy fuck oh my godd holy fuck

Ahem.

Our Flag Means Death is not a subtle show. So when it looks you directly in the eye and says "HEY!! THIS CHARACTER IS BULLYING THIS OTHER CHARACTER WHO JUST SO HAPPENS TO BE A FEMININE GAY MAN! I WONDER WHY THAT IS HMMM???" you should perhaps take that into consideration.

This show loves it's small details, it's winks and nods at the audience. Stede not wearing his rings the morning after "Calypso's Birthday", Wee John having a place to sit at all times, etc. But when it comes to overarching super important plot points? It's never whispered, always shouted. Or whatever Hozier said.

"Some namby-pamby in a silk gown pining for his boyfriend" --Izzy to Ed "A proper little seductress" --Izzy to Lucius "Who's the big gal?" --Jack to/about Stede "a heavyset woman in a silk dressing gown" --one of the British naval officers about Stede

White colonial masculinity tightens a proverbial vice around all the men in Our Flag Means Death. Some of them die for it. Others overcome and live beyond it. But it is a system enforced through emotional and physical violence. Bullying from your peers, threats of physical or emotional retaliation for stepping out of line. The coveted status of Man (patriarch, father, husband) and the inferior status of Woman (mother, wife) that must never touch. The status of Failed Man (feminine, weak, soft).

I think Orville Peck and Willie Nelson said it first.

"And I believe to my soul that inside every man is the feminine And inside every lady, there's a deep manly voice loud and clear" ... "And inside every lady, there's a cowboy who'd love to come out And inside every cowboy, there's a lady who'd love to slip out"

The answer to the question What is Our Flag Means Death trying to do? is a simple one. The show tells us, in very few words, what it is trying to do. The answer to Does it succeed in what it's trying to do? is subjective.

Stede's escape from traditional colonial masculinity and his subsequent disavowing of it are subjective interpretations. But what is objective is how Our Flag Means Death chooses to approach masculinity. "Gal", "woman", "namby-pamby", and "seductress" are words used against the least traditionally masculine characters by characters who (arguably) exemplify what being a man is supposed to look like--in other words, they are being degraded by men who exemplify that traditional colonial masculinity. And because they exemplify traditional colonial masculinity, degrading men who do not follow the doctrine is an essential part of that. There must be the status of Man, the status of Woman, and the status of Failed Man that overlaps with the status of Woman. Stede is the Failed Man who overlaps with the status of Woman.

And what of Edward Teach?

This is where the status of Man, Woman, Failed Man, Failed Woman becomes less relevant. Because of course it's all fucking made up and the whole damn concept of the gender binary is colonial nonsense. But it is especially colonial nonsense when we're talking about an indigenous brown man whose concepts of masculinity are so very removed culturally from the fast encroaching shadow of colonization. The divide becomes more vast and deliberate than when we talk about Stede, because Ed and Stede's concepts of what it means to be a man are not fundamentally identical. And then we arrive at the part where Ed chokes out a British colonizer with one hand while reading a letter from his boyfriend with the other hand. And you know, it's very hot and I think we need more of that.

"Calypso's Birthday" is a celebration of queer love and queer joy and it's also where the themes of masculinity and embracing the feminine become so relevant. Because what else is there to say, except how much of this episode hinges on the transformative powers of love and the transformative powers of self-expression through gender fuckery? Wee John and Jim in drag, Izzy (the guy who spent most of last season getting upset that everyone on the fag ship was fagging it up all over the place) in drag, Stede and Ed's first time. And let's not forget the original plan for Episode 6 was for Stede to get a sexy makeover that involved him wearing eyeliner. We were robbed and I will be mad about this for the next 20,000 years.

There's a part of Our Flag Means Death that's about the transformative power of love and another about how toxic masculinity literally kills and another about how artful sincerity is more attractive than ruthless cynicism in fictional media and a big huge one about how you can't critique traditional toxic masculinity without getting into these discussions about colonialism. And Our Flag Means Death does these things very well, even when it's not doing them very well it's still doing them okay. I think the gay pirate show is going to be one of those "classic" pieces of queer media that people look back on fifty or so years from now in the same way people look at queer cinema from the seventies, eighties, nineties, etc. "Oh, Our Flag Means Death? That was a fun time. I wish there were more shows like that nowadays".

[lovelytsunoda]

shadows of the night | oscar piastri

summary: hiding in self-imposed exile after very publicly trashing bill skarsgaard's 'the crow' remake, horror final girl casper coolidge chances finding love, and returning to the spotlight

pairing: oscar piastri x horror final girl! reader

fc: kathryn newton

reader goes by the screen name of casper coolidge, but is referred to as y/n multiple times throughout the fic.

caspercooldige

liked by colesprouse, lianaliberato, jamieleecurtis and 3,871 others

caspercoolidge the void is calling, I must go

comments on this post have been disabled

FOUR MONTHS LATER

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO CASPER COOLIDGE?

Four months ago, Horror final girl Casper Coolidge published a series of tweets criticizing the summer blockbuster remake of Alex Proyas and Brandon Lee’s 1994 film ‘The Crow’. Following an internet backlash that we won’t deign to publish, Coolidge, who’s real name is YN YLN, posted a series of behind the scenes pictures from her recent films with the caption ‘the void is calling, I must go’. The actress has not been heard from since.

Famous for her roles in ‘Freaky’ and ‘Lisa Frankenstein’, the actress got her start as a teenager in the small-screen adaptation of Liane Moriarty’s ‘Big Little Lies’, for which she was credited under her real name. Coolidge only adopted her screen moniker after fully embracing her change to the horror genre.

mclarenracing just posted!!

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 5,071 others

mclarenracing it’s always a good time in the grand ol’ us of a

see all comments

user HOLY FUCK IS THAT CASPER COOLIDGE

user listen I know mclaren had an awesome weekend but all I can see here is my missing scream queen

user casper being a mclaren fan is information I never knew I needed

oscarpiastri posted to his story!

Oscar Piastri on Two Girls One Formula, talking about his favourite films

caspercoolidge just added to her story!

caspercoolidge just made a post!!

liked by oscarpiastri, lizasoberano, landonorris and 4,000 others

caspercoolidge fall 2024 ft sidney and the boyfriend. still haven't seen the crow, probably won't. looking forward to getting back tot he big screen <3

see all comments

lizasoberano thank god, i thought i was going to have to keep him a secret forever. i'm happy to see you happy again :)

user shes got a boyfrienddddd and its oscar mf piastriiiii

-> user are we napping on the highway tonight queen?

oscarpiastri happy spooky season, my morticia

-> caspercoolidge happy spooky season, my gomez

landonorris i want a role in your next movie!

-> caspercoolidge as the first victim? (jk lan, i love you dearly)

user WAR IS OVER

colesprouse welcome back yn!

[axelsagewrites]

Aegon Targaryen*Birthday Celebrations

social media au

pairing: aegon x reader, bestie!jace x reader

warnings: drinking

Masterlist Here

y/ninstahandle

liked by kingaeg, helsgarden, princejace, 193 others

happy bday to my bby

view all comments:

helsgarden: ewww

princejace: ur welcome

y/ninstahandle: for what? princejace: for introducing u duh helsgarden: you should be appologising smh

kingsaeg: youre the best gift ever

bae3lla: ewwww helsgarden: ewwww

y/nsnapchat

queenie

Liked by y/ninstahandle, kingaeg, helsgarden and 34 others

my eldest's birthday dinner pics

view all comments:

bae3lla: the second pic 😂😂😂

y/ninstahandle: best dinner ever

princejace: time for the real party now

y/nsnapchat

princejacessnap

y/nsnapchat

helsgardensnap

y/ninstahandle

liked by: kingaeg, queenie, aemondtg, 193 others

photo dump from last night plus rare aemond pics

view all comments:

queenie: glad I stayed at home 😂😂😂

helsgarden: i dont remember much but what i do was awesome

aemondtg: no pictures please

helsgarden: drama queen aemondtg: at least i wasnt sick in a bush helsgarden: pics or it didnt happen

bae3lla: has anyone seen aegon since last night?

y/nsnapchat

a/n: first time doing a social media au so hope i didnt disappoint

Taglist Sign Up Here

General taglist: @strvngestark @headinfantasy @meg-ro @427120lxld @obx-josie18 @ravenmoore14 @tessakate @justtilly @jjkjbhj @clairacassidy @valeskafics @perla434 @justtilly @selenestar78 @urmomsgirlfriend1

HOTD taglist @jmii722 @hypocritic-trash-baby @starkleila @jacesvelaryons @sashadevil766

[lxvenderdreamy]

💜The SDR2 Boys with an S/O who is drop dead GORGEOUS💜

[🍓]

Basically the sdr2 boys with an S/o who is just..perfect. Just absolutely beautiful, stunning, gorgeous.

🍊Hajime Hinata🍊

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

He is absolutely losing it.

He has never seen someone so beautiful like what the actual hell-

Hajime would be SO nervous to even go up and talk to you. Like he feels as if he isn’t good enough to even walk up to you.

When he finally gets his head out of his ass and talks to you, he’s a blushing mess and he’s stuttering while your just there like:ヾ(〃^∇^)ﾉ

He cant even look you in the eye.

Your beauty is too damn bright what the hell

When y’all start dating, he kinda has more control over how he gets around you since now he’s gonna be seeing you everyday!!

Sometimes he wonders why you would even care to date a plain guy like him while your just a walking model everywhere you go

He ain’t complaining though

on y’all’s first ever date he is anxious, like he’s sweating bullets.

what can y’all do on a island during a damn killing game

Like he did NOT know what to do or how to plan a date with you. He just did not know because he was everything to be absolutely perfect.

He was so relieved when you said that you didn’t care where y’all’s date was, just as long as your with your boyfriend then that’s all that matters

In conclusion, Hajime loves you deeply. He was kinda anxious and nervous when he first talked to you but now since you two are dating he’s more open to you. He doesn’t just love you for how beautiful you are, but he loves you for your personality. He loves you inside and out and that’s all that matters to him.

🍀Nagito Komaeda🍀

Okay-

…he’s more open to you when you first talk. But MANNNNN…he is cutting himself UP.

Like he feels like he doesn’t even deserve to be talking, breathing, looking, eating, or ANYTHING near you cause like your just…DAMN.

“Of course, a lowly person like me shouldn’t be talking to someone as gorgeous to you.”-SHHHH

He just can’t take it with you. Your just so MWAH.

Despite all the harsh things he says about himself, he actually is in love with you but is to scared to ask you out because…yeah.

So your gonna have to make the first move-but dont even worry about it girl. He’s not would, or is…he WILL say YES. Don’t even stress about it cause your gonna get that Y-E-S.

When y’all are dating, he treats you like a princess����

He loves you sm, despite being on a killer island he still tries to make it very loving and fun with you

Lots of hugs and kisses and compliments from him while degrading himself

You remind him so many times to the point where you lose count that he’s not trash and that he deserves all this love from you

He cant help it, at all

The date is at the beach. y’all play in the ocean and splash each other

In conclusion, he tries. He tries to make sure that you have fun and your always have a good day with him. Yes, he may be a handful with his comments about himself and..a little crazy in general but you don’t let that get in the way of your relationship. You love him, he loves you, you both love each other.

🐹Gundham Tanaka🐹

Definitely calls you a Queen of some sort.

Easily gets flustered around you and when talking to you.

Occasionally, compliments you and addresses you by calling you (whatever) Queen when mentioning you.

He allows you to pet his Four Dark Devas, the Dark Devas loves you sm

When he’s ready to confess, he would make it romantically dramatic but it’s also so cute. Of course you accept his confession and you guys are now a sweet couple.

He is so blessed to have you

On y’all’s first date is romantically special, it’s filled with you guys spending time together for the whole day holding hands and enjoying each others presence.

You guys sometimes sleep with one another. The dark devas would sleep on different places on you. Such as your head, waist, in the crook of your neck and even sometimes on your face. it’s really funny when you wake up with a sleeping soft hamster on your face, making you smile and laugh.

He loves your smile, your laugh, everything. Everything about you brings him love and joy

He tells you about his Ultimate, you happily listen to him as the dark devas lay on your head.

In conclusion, you two are very close. There’s funny times, happy times, and even awkward times with the two of you but even so, it’s great. It’s filled with so many things, things are new everyday with each other.

��Souda Kazuichi🔧

Where do I start…

Oh lord, OHHH LORD.

* chef kisses* He loves you. He is acting like how he was acting with Sonia.

He was kinda stuck on Sonia for a bit but he fell into your hands. He is an actual simp for you it’s not even funny at this point.

Compliments on the daily, ON THE DAILY.

Even when you look tired, all messy from bed hair he is still complimenting you regardless.

He treats you like a queen, he helps you so much, he is just blushing everytime you guys make eye contact or chat.

It doesn’t matter who confesses but…it would be you. Souda is very open to his crush on you, VERY open. He tells the others about you, talks about you constantly, thinks about you-

When you confess it’s a dream come true.

He hugs you so tight as he rambles on about how he also has a crush on you and tells you all of his feelings, which you weren’t listening to because you knew from the very start.

The date is fun ngl.

Y’all go to the beach, he buys you things from the store, you eat together (involves Souda yelling at TeruTeru for flirting with you)

Everything is just exciting.

You allow him to play with your hair when your bored or just for fun.

You guys laugh A LOT.

He gives the BIGGEST and BEST hugs and kisses. Like with kisses, he just kisses you all over. With hugs, it’s the most coziest, tight, hug you ever receive and it will be forever. It’s just amazing.

In conclusion, Y’all’s relationship is beautiful in its very own way. He’s a great boyfriend and is actually really happy that you have the same feelings for him as he does with you. It makes him happy that you would choose him over any guy whose probably better than him. Their not, in your eyes and heart he is the one for you.

💛Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu💛

Like always, he is a bitch on the outside..always and forever will be:.

But he is absolutely CRUSHING on you on the inside.

He tries to stay FAR away from you as possible, dragging Peko along with him.

Of course, Peko notices this and figures it out pretty easily that her master is crushing on you. She asks Fuyuhiko about it and of course he denies it completely but eventually gives up and admits that he is head over heels over you.

When you two finally talk (Peko was encouraging Fuyuhiko too be the one to talk to you due to him just running away) he is very bashful and stammering over his words as he curses at himself in his head.

You find this cute but you don’t want to get him all pissy cause this is the first time you guys talked and you noticed how he scrambled away when you try to talk to him.

After you guys talk a little more, a little more turns into more. He starts getting even more stressed about his insane crush on you.

Peko has to help him out with this and helps him confess his feelings for you.

He’s tsundere how you accepted his feelings for you and told him about yours but really, he is relieved that you accept his feelings and is losing his shit on the inside.

Peko helps him set up a small date at the cabin and tells everyone just to not bug y’all. God bless her.

You guys are food and chat happily, laughing and teasing one another in a playful manner. The date was a successful, funny, and playful time for the both of you and you guys enjoyed every single second, minute, and hour.

You guys hang out together most of the time.

Peko joins along and you two got closer of course, becoming the best of friends.

When Peko sadly passes away, you comforted Fuyuhiko and hold him close as you cried too. Despite this inconvenience, you two manage to stay close and be there for one another. Even when he had slit his own stomach. You were worried for him and stuck by his side in til he was better.

in conclusion, your love for one another is beautiful. It’s strong and lovable. You make sure that both of you are okay with all that’s happened and hold each others hand throughout it all, not losing or drifting away from one another. It’s a blessing, a hope, a wish. Something that’s beautiful.

[genericpuff]

(Hello, I posted a comment about this topic in your ask box a while ago, but I don’t know if it went through or is just in ask box limbo. So, if this comment sounds familiar, it’s because I might have already asked this, I just wanted to make sure that it went through this time.)

So, in one of your posts, I noticed that you compared Hades from LO to Bojack Horseman from the Netflix show with the same name. And it made me think back on a video by Dazzling Kate that I ended up commenting on, regarding Hades’s past relationships with Minthe and Leuce. Something that I think the fans (And even Rachel) tend to overlook with Hades is his sexual history with women and the power he has over them. Much like Bojack, Hades from LO has been in many relationships with women where he had significant power over them. He then either used those women for sexual pleasure, or to get some kind of favor from them to better himself. There are plenty of examples of this! Example 1: Minthe – He initially engaged with Minthe when she was flat broke and struggling to make ends meet. He ended up giving her a job at his company where he was the boss, allowed her to live in an apartment complex which he owned and was paying rent for, and even set up a bank account for her at a bank he controlled (Which he did the same to Persephone). He then later develops a sexual relationship with her and bribed her with expensive gifts to keep her in the relationship, but doesn’t fully commit to making her happy by standing up to his family when they trash-talk her nor does he consider her feelings.

Example 2: Bank and pawnshop – He threatened the owner of the pawnshop where Persephone had to give up the comb Hades gave to her so she could make money. Sure, you could argue he was hurt she had to sell a gift he gave her just for the money, but you can’t deny that puts him in a position where he abused his power over a woman and did not talk to Persephone about selling the comb first before threatening to get it back. He also threatened a worker at the bank when he was setting up Persephone’s account (said worker was a woman as well), and even though she was doing her job, she was forced to bend the rules because Hades was threatening her with his eyes.

Example 3: Hecate – Hades learns about the tabloid photo because of Hecate and learns that Hecate is an aunt to Persephone. And while it seems she is on the same level as the King, Hades ends up using Hecate to track down Alex, kidnap the photographer and torture him with Hades. This event is made to make Hades seem like a hero for Persephone by taking out someone who hurt her image but this only isolated Persephone at her college more and just confirmed what everyone was thinking. On top of that, Hades is excused for his behavior and not even Persephone sees how disturbing that is. (Now that I think about it, I wonder if this incident could be considered an act of wrath considering harm was caused to a person by a god who did not have a permit to commit said act. And I also wonder that if this got back to Hades, would he throw Hecate under the bus by claiming that she was the one who brought up the idea and did most of the dirty work? I wouldn’t be surprised if he did put the blame on Hecate, which just further proves his power over women by forcing her to take the fall to get out Scott free.)

Example 4: Hera – He consulted Hera during her breakdown when she discovered an affair Zeus was having, which ended up resulting in Hades having an emotional and physical affair with Hera for at least a century. He basically used her insecurities to have her go against her title as “goddess of marriage and faithfulness”, using her doubts about her relationship with Zeus to gain some intimacy. This also ended up snowballing into Hera beginning to feel more guilty about Hades’s status about wanting someone by his side as his queen. It’s probably why she decided to play matchmaker with Persephone to be with Hades, so he could have the kind of woman he wanted. Hera put her own niece with her brother-in-law, who was much older and unstable, just so she could move on from her feelings and be rid of the guilt of the affair.

Example 5: Demeter – Hades had a pretty good relationship with Demeter, but ended up betraying her so she wouldn’t become queen of the Earth, all because he allowed his brother to manipulate him. While Zeus is to blame, Hades fell for it and let Demeter be thrown under the bus just because he wanted to keep the volcanos, even though he could have just talked with Demeter over it. He also calls out Demeter with derogatory names and claims that she is isolating Persephone and abusing her by asserting her authority over her daughter. However, Hades is just as guilty of doing the exact same thing to Persephone: Belittling her with titles such as ‘little goddess’, ruined her reputation at school, controlling her finances, and even manipulated her into things she didn’t want to do by taking advantage of the situation. (Like how Persephone wanted to take their dating slow, but she agrees to get married only after the fallout with her mother.)

Example 6: Leuce - ….Okay, Hades didn’t technically do anything wrong here, other than not confront Leuce right away about this arranged marriage. Zeus was the one who wanted her to marry Hades, and Persephone was the one to really have her moments with. Seriously, fuck Zeus and Persephone for this.

Example 7: Persephone – I kind of already said my point in Example 5 (Belittling her with titles such as ‘little goddess’, ruined her reputation at school, controlling her finances, and even manipulated her into things she didn’t want to do by taking advantage of the situation.) Basically, everything that Hades did to Minthe, he’s pretty much doing the same thing to Persephone. He doesn’t see Persephone as an actual partner to be his equal, he sees her as a sex icon that he can control and he takes advantage of her (maybe not sexually, but in other means). And all the things Demeter did to her daughter, Hades is doing the exact same thing, but again he wants to get a sexual relationship out of Persephone for it!

My point is that throughout LO, Hades clearly displays how toxic, power-hungry and predatory he truly is. It’s ironic that Rachel wanted to make Hades seem like the best of the three brothers, but his personality is no different than Zeus or even Apollo for that matter. Rachel only made Hades worse in LO than in the original hymn and Greek Mythology. I don’t mind these tendencies of Hades or any characters that have such traits, but they should be called out on it! At least BoJack was exposed for his toxicity and power over women, which the show clearly tells us is not a good thing that he or anyone else should be proud of! BoJack also suffered the consequences of those actions and tried to get better. But here, LO makes it seem like this is normal behavior for Hades and that he’s a desirable bachelor who just needs to find the right woman to work through his issues. Even though Hades’ track record with women is a massive red flag.

And the depressing thing that we have to ask is… if Hades acts this way with every woman in his life, then what’s stopping him from pulling the same crap on Persephone? He may “love” her now, but who’s to say he won’t pull a Zeus and get a concubine later down the road or have multiple affairs? After all, he didn’t fall for Persephone because of her personality, he fell for her because of her body and what she can give him and the control he has over her.

(Sorry for the long post, but I was just curious to hear your thoughts on this topic because I don't think too many people in the LO community really pay attention to this detail about Hades)

i swear i thought i had responded to this ask the first time you made it so that's my bad ahahfhdasklsaj but i probably assumed that because yes, we've talked about the similarities between Bojack and Hades before, and they really are fucked the more you think about them ＼(º □ º l|l)/ to the point that you could deadass replace Bojack with Hades in that "second interview" scene where the interviewer asks Bojack about the power he has over women and he denies it as if he hasn't constantly abused women and girls who trusted in him on the basis of being a well-known celebrity.

There's a lot of delusion and lack of accountability there on Bojack's part, especially because it's following the first interview where he admits to the flaws that he finds easy to swallow and twist into his own "I'm the victim" type story, but then cowers away from the stuff he DOESN'T want to admit because he still doesn't think he did anything wrong and was trying to use the "woe is me I'm a sad struggling celebrity :(((" angle from the first interview to get himself off the hook.

So of course as soon as he's asked some actual hardball questions and realizes he's up shit creek for being directly responsible for Sara Lin's death as well as other incidents involving women he took advantage of / directly harmed, he pulls the "I'm an addict" card, which is yeah, sure, a reason for a lot of his past transgressions, but it's not getting into his real issues that are feeding into his addictions and it's still being used more as an excuse to try and get himself off the hook on the virtue of "well yeah I'm a bad guy but we already talked about that didn't we??? can't you see how regretful I am ??? let's just move on already!" rather than actually taking accountability.

And who does that sound like? Oh right, the "misunderstood" King of the Underworld, Hades, who has done nothing to actually prove wrong all the claims and statements made about him. Like, we're supposed to believe - according to the narrative - that Hades is misunderstood and that people only assume the worst of him due to his association with the Underworld...

... but then he goes and pulls shit like this and it's like "Wait, maybe his reputation precedes him" LMAOOO

Now it could be a "which came first, the stigma or the reputation" type thing, where Hades started off with good intentions and then slowly morphed into a tyrannical piece of shit because most people already assumed he was gonna be like that anyways just for being the King of the Underworld, but the comic never really explores that or makes that clear. It's just constantly at odds between Hades being "poor misunderstood rich guy :(((" and "powerful king who will destroy anyone who tries to touch his cinnamon roll qween >:3" and yeah it makes for really shitty characterization, especially when reading in hindsight and realizing, "Wait, maybe Minthe was right to be upset about what Hades was doing and Hades was in the wrong".

Shit, this is a bit off topic, but you wouldn't believe the amount of people who don't realize that this scene-

-is literally a bribe.

Now, most people assume it isn't because it's not taking the form of the usual "I'll pay you whatever sum of money to make sure this all goes away" but... it's still a bribe, the exact kind of bribe that permeates larger industries where women are often forced into silence at the hands of a rich powerful man who has all the power (cough people like Bojack Horseman cough). It's a lot quieter and designed to make the woman look "ungrateful" if she doesn't take a deal that really only benefits the perpetrator (in this case, Hades). In this situation, Hades has all the power - he's her employer, the guy who pays for her apartment and other bills, and as much as he can claim he put "the two of them" in the position of financial co-dependency, it was really only her. He's the one who owns banks, after all - she's the only one who stands to lose everything and clearly all he's losing is a woman who he's not even interested in anymore in lieu of the new 19-year-old intern who he's more attracted to now.

So he tries to make it sound like all of it is for her benefit. She could go back to school. Take a management position with better pay. All of these offers, while on the surface seem like a "good faith" apology to "make up" for the loss of the relationship, are really just their own form of bribe to get Minthe out of the picture, under the guise of being for her own "benefit".

Now don't get me wrong, Minthe absolutely 100% deserves to get the fuck away from Hades, but it bugs the shit out of me that the narrative never focuses on Hades' own role in this relationship and how he's contributed to its issues. And not only that, but he's continued this cycle through Persephone, who was also vulnerable in many of her own ways, from her age, to her lack of life experience, to her lack of finances (aside from her inheritance of the Barley Mother fortune which she clearly doesn't have access to throughout S1), to what she's going through as an SA victim. Sure, the narrative props them up as a perfect couple, but Persephone is still just another naive girl who was lovebombed by an older and richer man and slowly turned into an accessory of his own design, covered in all the trappings of wealth and continuing the cycle of abusing the lower class (which we see her doing constantly throughout S3).

And if all that isn't proof enough that Hades is an exploitative piece of shit who takes advantage of women, look no further than the pilot episodes:

And yeah. Minthe was absolutely right that Hades has all the power and privilege of being able to come across as the responsible one when she's the one who stands to lose so much more.

[tommykinard6]

This blog is here to stay. It will remain a Tommy Kinard and BuckTommy blog.

I’m pissed. I’m grieving. 9-1-1 is my favorite show and now they’ve pulled this shit.

If Lou had left the show because the death threats were too much, his mental health was suffering, or he just couldn’t take it anymore, I would absolutely understand. I’d blame a certain part of the fandom, but I’d respect his decision. But he didn’t even want this. He loves Tommy and Tevan. I don’t know what Tim is thinking.

I know it all feels like a waste right now, but it’s not. Let me recount really quick:

• Buck is bisexual.

• There have been some really important scenes to come out of his discovering his sexuality, including Josh’s speech and his own lesson in fighting for his relationship.

• Tommy Kinard will be a character you pry from my cold dead hands. A gay man who discovered himself late in life and is still living his life genuinely. A man who made mistakes and acknowledges them, but has grown far past them. What a wonderfully rounded character.

• Excepting the end of 806, the beauty of their relationship. They did so much with so little screen time.

It’s not a waste, even though the ending absolutely trashed the progress made.

Resolutely, I do not believe this is the end. I know, I know, “the interviews”. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that they’re misdirecting. Also, they haven’t even written the rest of the season yet. The storyline is fixable if there’s a make up.

Not telling anyone how to feel about Oliver’s comments, but I would caution about using TVline’s article as the Bible. It was a terribly written, heavily biased interview and frankly it’s an insult that it was even conducted.

Even if it is the end, no one has to stop shipping. No one has to leave the fandom. We did not lose. We still got our canon ship and it will forever be an irrevocable fact that it was canon. BuckTommy is endgame for me. I may be disappointed by expectations, but I will never be in the wrong for sticking by that.

Make your displeasure known to Tim and ABC, but do not lose your dignity doing so. Do not engage with the haters. No harassing Lou. You can hold Oliver accountable for his remarks, but no harassment of him. You can call him out without making him the fandom whipping boy. I’ve seen many people latching onto him as the outlet for their feelings on this. Do not harass or bully the writers or actors, but make sure the producers and showrunners know they fucked up.

And most importantly, look after yourselves and each other. We’re still a community and we’re here to stay. This week is one of the worst ever, but we will come out of it.

Thank you, Tommy Kinard, for the hope you gave us, the representation you presented, and the character you were. Thank you Lou for portraying such a character and being such a sweetheart. BuckTommy will forever be in our hearts, endgame or not.

As a reminder, BuckTommy is not the be all end all of the show for queer rep. Hen and Karen, our fabulous queens, and Josh will still always be there. Buck is still bi, no matter what’s next in store for him. Tommy, even if gone forever, is still a significant moment of gay rep. And that’s not even counting the small characters that come in and out. It’s not always done well, but it’s there.

[selkie-on-land]

I tried to watch avengers assemble (the animated series). At first I wanted to watch it for Black Widow but I'm so disappointed and angry at it. She's an avenger, one of the first one actually, she built the team with Fury and Coulson but as always, it's a male only show : all the characters are exclusively male, and sometimes for a few seconds, when they need a damsel in distress, there is a woman screaming or she finally appears! Only to be there for at most 2 minutes in the whole episode (25 minutes) and only maybe 2 or 3 episodes. Even the new guy who is not an avenger yet but is becoming one get more screen time and line and everything actually than her an actual avenger.

This is infuriating! Not just about her character lack of screen time, she often doesn't talk either, just appearance time to time, she is so invisible and reduce as a poor damsel in distress.

I'm so so so sick of this !!! Of this male only society, the entire planet is already practicing separatism, everything is male only. And if you dare create one female character even if she has one second of time screen then all the trash are screaming and crying that they are erased and replaced by those *Misogynistic insult*. It is truly sickening to live in a world where you are not supposed to even exist but your people is the one creating the entire humanity.

I crave to have shows where there is not a single male in it !! But if you dare say so, you're a terrorist blablabla. The entire world is already like this and it doesn't bother anyone! But when it's about the invisible humanity, females, then it's an outrage to the world ??? Having female representation is categorised as hatred or hate speech. 💀

''How dare you allowing those things to be there in our things and to show that they actually exists!!?''

The entire society is applying DARVO on us, this is gaslight, this is manipulation. We are not the one who genocide half the humanity that birthed us just because they exist. Male are. Every media, every movie, every song they create is built on their hate towards us, every thing they do is created only to full their hate speech Agenda.

The only few shows dominantly with females characters are the Barbies ones, the animated movies.

In all the Disney etc movies, the ''princess'' or female lead doesn't have any female friends, her only possible friends are all male. (Except some rare exceptions)

In the 101 Dalmatians, the only female one is only there because they needed a mother role to birth all of them !! That's her only purpose 💀

In the aristocats, the strays one should be all females, the male one are very similar to the humans too, the female too, they tend to bond and to live together with their kittens and the male are excluded. The adult males don't bond they fight eachother, they kill eachother. So a made up family of Stray cats can only exists if they are all females.

Same in the Lion King, the male are excluded and not the leader or king of anything. The lionesses are the Queens.

Female friendship or sisterhood is inexistant unless it's for serving the sole purpose of misogynistic agents like peak me etc.

If you know movies or shows centered around women and girls please comments/share it !

I hope it's not the dystopian movie where there is no man left on earth ... Like we deserve to have representation, real one, not post apocalyptic one ...

So far I've got :

Barbie's animated movies

The Tinkerbell movies

She Ra (the reboot I didn't watch the original)

Marvel Rising saga

Supergirl (it's not exclusively female but the accent is put on them, minus for the TWAW speech)

Agatha All Along (even tho the only boy got more attention and get to have an entire episode focused exclusively on him while the other women including the main character have to share the few minutes of the episode 🙄)

Tell it to the bees

Portrait d'une jeune fille en feu

Ocean 8

The L world

[lookmomitsmytmblr]

OKAY so I am re-listening to "Death and The Queen" again and I am having Thoughts™.

I can't find any info about when this drama takes place continuity-wise, but my personal placement would be after "Planet of The Ood" (4x3) and before "The Sontaran Stratagem" (4x4) because 4x4-4x6 take place directly following each other with Donna stating at the end of 4x6 that she plans to travel with the Doctor forever. Donna's determination to continue traveling w him is in keeping with the conclusion of Death and The Queen, where she comes to the decision that the Doctor IS her "happily ever after," as it were. Placing the drama after "Fires of Pompeii" and "Planet of The Ood" also makes sense with Donna's desire in the audio drama to have a break from "the extraordinary" of traveling with the Doctor (specifically, horrific death and destruction,) which adds understandable context to her seemingly being so willing to leave the Doctor after searching for him for so long.

 (Don't talk to me about the ending of Forest of The Dead. It's unlikely Donna would have left the Doctor even if she found Lee. Donna's desire to confirm whether Lee was real could be easily contextualized by her wanting to know how much of her experiences inside CAL were a fabrication, and what the supposed "perfect husband" persona would have said about her if it was drawn from her own mind. Also it was written by Moffatt so it shouldn't count anyway.)

ANyway, what I actually wanted to talk about. Notably, considerable emphasis is placed on Donna enjoying her role as Queen and especially caring for her subjects and having power to help people. A greater amount of text is dedicated to her talking about how as Queen she can care for her subjects than her love for Rudolph, even before the reveal that he is human(?) trash. Her attachment to the role of Queen that marrying Rudolph will grant her is established to be largely based upon her passion for helping people rather than luxuries associated with rank, especially in view of the montage of how royal life on Gorotainia is not as glamorous as she hoped but is still enthralled by being Queen. Later in the story, when danger has appeared, her main role in the story is sacrificing and taking the lead to protect her subjects.

Notably, when things start going downhill and Rudolph starts talking to her about the difficult choices that he must make as royalty she comments that Rudolph is “just like HIM” (the Doctor) and that she went with Rudolph to escape these darker aspects of her travels with the Doctor, specifically the hard choices that go with the role the Doctor plays in the universe (while she doesn’t connect these concepts directly, these two statements are placed very close to one another textually.)

Only when her relationship with Rudolph and role as Queen seems like it will involve some of the same dark choices that her travels with Doctor did does Donna decide she doesn’t want to be involved anymore, which is quickly reversed when she finds out she needs to become Queen in order to protect her people. (I love Donna. In case you can’t tell.)

The narrative has established that a large part of Donna’s attachment to her relationship with Rudolph is potential authority to help and guide people, and that her main interest in pursuing a life with Rudolph rather than her travels with the Doctor was her perception that her role as Queen of Gorotainia would not involve the same death and destruction she has seen with the Doctor. Perfectly understandable after experiencing something like Pompeii.

Donna’s compassion and empathy have been essential components of her character since her introduction, with her wanting to protect the Doctor despite being irritated with him and feeling sorrow for the children of a Rancoss that wanted her to be eaten in “The Runaway Bride”, her taking the time to mention Stacy in “Partners In Crime,” and literally everything in “Fires of Pompeii” and “Planet of The Ood’. Donna has always taken the time and the energy to think of others and work to protect them, even this early in her run. In view of how deeply she feels the pain of others, it is understandable that she would find the idea of a world where she could help others from a position of power without all of the death and chaos and destruction appealing, and her outrage at Rudolph for once again putting her in a position where she has to witness (and potentially be responsible for) terrible things happening to innocent people is believable. He proves that being a Gorotainian royal is like being the Last of The Time Lords. On a smaller scale, sure, but still. 

So the text (and Donna) have set up the idea of Rudolph being similar to the Doctor in role, so what is the difference? Rudolph doesn’t much care about people. He is willing to sacrifice his own people quite coldly.

The Doctor does care about people. How good of a person he is, or how good of a job he does caring for people is up for debate, but he cares.

Which all leads me to this quote from “Beautiful Chaos,” that I cannot believe is cannon and real and published.

Why does Donna love the Doctor?

"I wish you could see what I see. We've been to places, to worlds, to futures and pasts you could only dream about. I think half of them I dreamed up because they can't be real. But they are. And everywhere we go, we make a difference. We put things right, we make people happier. That's what the Doctor is all about. He finds a way for the universe to make sense. And I love him for it.”

Donna Noble wants to make a difference. No matter where she goes, she cannot escape the death and pain and suffering and chaos and nonsense that is the universe, and she can’t help but want to help. And right there beside her, the Doctor is working to put things right too. And she loves him for it.

We have this entire drama dedicated to Donna wanting to make a difference, while also escaping the darkness of the universe, and she learns she can’t. There are no happily ever afters.

Except with the Doctor.

I have so many feelings guys.

[solaireverie]

dr3 | deep blue but you painted me golden

part two — take the moment and taste it

[ series masterlist ] part 1 | part 3 | part 4

pairings: daniel ricciardo x f!leclerc!rbr driver!reader, lestappen

summary: [ social media au ] a rough race for both charles and y/n results in daniel lashing out and max... well, you'll just have to see

warnings: language, f1-typical trash talk/hate

faceclaim: barbara palvin + random faceless checo pics + pinterest

author’s note: it gets rough before it gets better, i promise. also, i’m thinking about making a series taglist 🤔 if you’d be interested, let me know in the replies. enjoy!

1,578 likes

ausgp A chaotic first lap sees both Leclercs OUT of #AusGP!

view comments

user this doesn't look like a great start for y/n... 😬

↪ user you do know that she's a rookie, right? a rookie who already has a podium?

↪ user with the rocket ship rbr have this year anyone could get a podium 🙄

user y/n spinning out in australia of all places has got to be some kind of fate 🫥

↪ user we all knew red bull were taking a risk and the question now is if the risk is paying off

↪ user the manifestation worked for danny's home crowd lmaoooo

user let's be real, if this keeps happening daniel should get y/n's seat

598 likes

liked by charles_leclerc, maxverstappen1, redbullracing and 367,192 others

yourusername not the result we wanted, but unfortunately the result we got. i'll learn from this experience and we'll be back.

comments have been limited on this post

charles_leclerc ❤️❤️❤️

maxverstappen1 💪

redbullracing we're all behind you, y/n

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, lilymhe and 403,135 others

yourusername if a man talks shit then i owe him nothing 🐍

view comments

user she ATE and left no crumbs 😍😍

lilymhe you dropped your crown, queen 👑

↪ yourusername no you 😘

user absolutely living for y/n in her reputation era 😌

user between charles and y/n f1 is never beating the allegations of being the prettiest sport

user all the people defending daniel for "speaking his mind" better not say a word about y/n now

liked by yourusername

user red bull aren't going to be happy with either of them 💀

charles_leclerc i've always got your back 💛

↪ maxverstappen1 charles, can we please just talk about it?

likes and reblogs are appreciated!

masterlist

[11queensupreme11]

“Brother,” Poseidon turned to him, and gods—Hades couldn’t believe this—his eyes were still glittering. “I… must thank you.” “...Thank me?” He barely uttered out. He nodded. “Yes. When Percilla was born, I initially wanted nothing to do with her, but I knew I had no choice but to raise her. I fathered her heartlessly, but it was you who stuck around and made sure I cared for her well. You protected her from my rage and you taught me that I needed to act as a proper father for her and love her as my daughter. If it wasn’t for your insistence—as annoying as it was—I might not have given Percy a chance. I would not have realized how wonderful of a child she is, and how lucky I am that the bifrost has blessed me with her.” This was probably the most words he had ever heard his usually apathetic brother ever speak in one go and all Hades could feel was despair. Poseidon was in love for the first time ever and while Hades would’ve happily celebrated this never-before-seen occasion, he had to fall in love with Percy of all people—the very girl Hades wished to marry. And now he couldn’t.

*CLOWN MUSIC*

Sorry, I'm re-reading cause I miss a few (a lot) updates, and, when I read this…

Gold comedy, clown-to-clown conversation.

(I'm about to excuse my behavior, but I'm letting everything in one ask, so if it's dirty, well, I'm the kind of lector you were (hopefully) waiting and here we don't kink shame)

Anyway, cause I'm a basic bitch, I'm going to do my usual review, no new memories here.

Chapter 33

I'm going to say, that Percy being trained to accept Poseidon's love is hot from you, I can see her falling to control herself (that said, can we applaud her control? My girl, that man is GORGEOUS and he's almost in his knees (to lick) trying to convince you to ride that)

(uncontrolled laugh Poseidon's balls are a particularly pretty shadow of blue) (Please have mercy queen. To him or us, I'm not made for a slow burn, I like things fast, and I have 0 patience and less auto control)

(Do you think Annubis can smell Aphrodite is near cause she always smells like rough sex? almost like an orgy-) (That tongue tho, some of your ask are DIRTY queen)

“Talk!” She demanded. “I’m in love with you,” he slurred.

Is their equivalent to: "Come out!" "I'm gay"

Loki being into choking is so him, I love him, my favorite nasty boy, he's so desperate someone needs to give him the talk about self-control

(Percy anytime she meets a god: Damn, that is some abs. My girl, how would you deal with normal bodies after being exposed to them? One night sleeping in Poseidon's tits and I'd never be the same)

Me, looking as Loki protects Percy: ✨Progress✨

No matter if it went to the burning trash with Percy's cruel comment, it's a yandere history, I am always ready to see her building her misery (saying that, I love her and wish her happiness)

Hades being miserable is something I need to think about, why him being in love with Percy is worse in my mind? It almost felt like a lie when he protected her when she arrived ROR, worse than Poseidon was open about his intentions, and never faked his desires...

Love to see him destroying this almost peace, drama is the rule here, after all.

Chapter34

Beelzebub and Loki, fighting over Percy like dramatic teenagers:

Did you just make Hades kidnap Percy?

Why I'm surprised, is canon Hades' behavior.

(Poseidon, why the fuck didn't you put a GPS in her? She needs it)

QUEEN

QUEEN

THE FUCK?

THAT IS A CHAPTER

PLEASE SAVE HER

(Trio with Loki and Beelzebub? 🥹)

And you dare to be surprised about why I'm a full supporter of them.

They may not have morals, no mental stability, no auto control, toxic as Chernobyl, be the worse or the worse, have 0 consideration about Percy's desires, be the ones to most hurt her, manipulate her and everyone around them, and...

Anyway, you know what more are they?

Loyal motherfuckers (when Percy is pregnant lol)

No doubt, they would fight the gods and their ridiculous superpowers for her.

Love them, with this, they'd need to torture Percy to me into letting them go.

I have my pink heart-shaped glasses stuck to my face.

(I'm so afraid, please don't make me a clown here queen)

Chapter 35

If I die, Percy better grieve for me for the rest of her life! Loki thought as he was about to launch another attack, but then—

My boy, I would cry for you, I love you, and I don't care you lost her my baby, I'm your defender, your shield, your weapon against your haters, I have no shame, fight me in the mud-

Anyway, Percy should thank Annubis riding him, just saying

(I'm forcing the memory of human meat out of my brain. I'm a hannigram fan too)

Percy getting in her attic wife era, is so nice! Scape is part of the experience ❤️❤️❤️

(Knotting, belly bulge, heat, and omega/alpha dynamic? all of that for us? 🥹 finally someone who knows Annubi's real potential)

Imagine Annubis cutting his claws cause it hurts Percy and then after the sex Percy has enough bite marks to be mixed with a chewing toy.

No going to lie, Anubis is my kind of yandere favorite, the one that makes you feel safe until it hits you that he's dangerous. Bright smile and toxic thoughts ❤️

Chapter 36

Cú Chulainn? *looks at his photos* who´s that cutie and who dares to hide him from me?

Hades really looks at his siblings as kids and Poseidon is a baby throwing tantrums. Meanwhile, I consider that he's the worse, seeing how he stole Percy cause he was horny.

Who am I to judge?

On the other side, Anubis casually rizzing up Percy, showing how good a father he is, enjoying Hade's work to make her stay in hell and Loki's cape to hide her...

Know what? That'd work for me, give me some of that dream family life, I'd stay

Kebechet calling her mom: ❤️😘

Percy, that's a literal child, younger even than her clothes: This is okay, I guess? at least it's no incest for once

Chapter 37

Omg, I love Percy so much, she's so stupid.

What do you mean that you're staying with an (I hope) single father, his daughter, sleeping with them, using the clothes he gives you, the (no really) child calls you mom, the father picks you all the time, you're cooking for them and doing everything you see in family movies and you don't see anything wrong?

YOU'RE MAKING A BIRTHDAY CAKE PERCY, YOU'RE MOM

Her face flushed in embarrassment. “Can you please just…?” She motioned downwards.

He grinned in understanding. “Oh, right.”

He lowered himself down into a squat just so that she could be ‘taller’ than him 

One time, this guy did this for me... rizz me like no one else. I'd say this is the peak of romance, especially if you remember that he's very playful, so it's like having a golden retriever looking at you.

And his manipulation tactic is being cute! (no really but almost) so he's perfect for Percy, they can act cute together and annoy the rest together.

He's my favorite I think... I'm not sure, I am still a Poseidon's stan, and as I say, Loki and Belzeebub are my babies... but Annubis...

I just know the fall is going to go horrible for me, queen

Chapter 38

Anubis is worried cause his new wife is sick and he can't say anything ☹️☹️

“Come ooon, who’s a good boy?”

He perked up. “I am!”

That's a golden, no, wait.

This is your dangerous yandere? I just see a good boy 🙄🙄

She gave him a suggestive look.

A large smirk crawled over his face as he stepped closer to her, their bodies nearly touching. He reached down to grasp her hands. “We… can finally…”

“Decorate for her birthday party!” They cheered in unison.

...

Just fucking marry and leave alone. They're so cute, recording together and talking about colors. *Sniff* What else do you need? that's married couple behavior.

AND, technically, he isn't lying, he's very sincere about her papel in the family, she's just an idiot who can catch a sign even if it was given to her.

Yes, he doesn't talk about the other... but, you don't have to talk about your exes, that's no sin, your honor.

That's a good man Savannah. A GOOD MAN

AND YES, MAYBE, he was calling Percy his wife, but also, giving first love, giving I love her so much.

You know, he respects her like the others don't, and *cries* It's going to hurt me so much if you make him like the others.

I know that he probably killed the other, maybe ate them too, but like, did they Kebechet cry? cause then they deserve it.

Queen, I just love him, don't make him so bad... or do it but in a hot way at least.

(Would be so funny if he's married and she isn't, would hurt so much)

Queen, how can you divide this beautiful family? forget about sending her to her home, just drink Meng Mo's soup, and stay happy with them.

Amazing like always, queen, have a roller coaster of emotions, I'd do it again.

Imagine if Nico were there to witness everything, he'd be a good godfather to Kebechet, play with her, and teach her about his game.

What a good and wonderful family 🥹🥹🥹

omg hiiiiiiii

i love your chapter reviews lmao, this one especially made my day 😂😂😂😂😂

I ALSO LOVE HOW IMPATIENT YOU ARE FOR THE REAL SMUT LMAOOO I ALREADY WROTE THE FIRST FULL SMUT CHAPTER FOR ACT 2 AND I WILL NOT SAY WHO'S THE ONE SNATCHING PERCY'S VIRGINITY HEHEHEHE I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU GUESSING IN DESPAIR

"Omg, I love Percy so much, she's so stupid" she really is, she's not connecting ANY dots; anthonius is usually in charge of the brain cells and unfortunately the bifrost forgot to take her one last brain cell left before it yoinked her into the ror verse 💀💀 beelzebub occasionally lends her a brain cell or two but only if she's good 😔

AND YES ANUBIS IS A GOOD BOY, THE GOODEST BOY EVER 🥺🥺🥺🥺 yes he's a yandere and yes i'm gonna fuck him up, but he will STILL BE PERCY'S GOOD BOY NO MATTER WHAT 😤😤😤 and kebi will always be #1 daughter!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤

anuby is actually soooo wholesome if you enjoy the yandere aspects of it (so like.... 90% of the whole ship LMAO) they're just so sweet to each other. just one lil happy family; a 7'5" tall unhinged death god and his cute lil wife who doesn't know she's a wife and their lil snakey daughter 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

[piwstri4]

un verano sin ti | ln4

pairing: f1driver!ex!lando norris x fashion designer!ex!reader

summary: you can't seem to find peace after success.

part one - part three

DUSK.CLOTHING

liked by ynclo, lewishamilton, lukasabbat and 97,673 others

DUSK.CLOTHING Yet again another successful project! We are very thankful for everyone who attended the show, we hope you enjoyed it at least half as much as we did setting everything up. Spring in a lavender field looks wonderful.

view all 93,723 comments

ynclo thanks to everyone who supported this project!!! i hope we can do something as amazing as this sometime soon, for now cheers to all the crew behind this fantastic runway 🔥💥

user1 i LOVED it, by far one of the most spectacular shows you've done so far guys!!

lukasabbat fire project 🔥🔥

ynclo well i had gorgeous models

lukasabbat the designer didn't fail to surprise

user2 it's amazing how she comes up w everything i love her brain

user3 all she needed was to break up w the vroom vroom guy

user4 I didn't like him either but we should still respect him anyways

user5 well he was the love of her life, let's not trash him around

lewishamilton by far one of your best works, keep up the good job!

DUSK.CLOTHING We will!

ynclo im so happy u liked it!!!!! i told u the field was a good idea

user6 tell me im not the only one who saw her flirt w that one model on the backstage???

user7 she's flirting w him in the comments.....

user8 omg name?

user7 @/lukasabbat

user9 I wish I could have gone!! Looks like a fairytale

user10 im convinced that ever since leaving vroom vroom guy she's been thriving.

user11 I know you have good intentions but please respect them both, he was a very important part of her life

user12 she's what she is bc of him

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, danielricciardo, arthurleclerc and 63,928 others

ynclo la estoy pasando bien no te voy a mentir (pero a veces tu nombre no me deja dormir)

view all 60,378 comments

user1 i love the fact that now all her captions are in spanish

user2 queen behavior tbh bc redacted wont take the time to translate them

user3 now we have insta pages translating them!!

user4 for those wondering: "im doing great not gonna lie (but sometimes your name doesn't let me fall asleep)"

user5 I'm so convinced that it was for him

user6 of course it was for him, they were together for so long

user7 no one's gonna talk about sir mister man in the third pic?

user8 i miss her w l*ndo so much:((

danielricciardo Nice car

ynclo mine or his?

danielricciardo both

user9 yall they were gonna get married at that place 😭😭😭😭

user10 source??

user11 i might be wrong but they said that in a story + posted some pics

user12 could literally be any fucking field you are all delusional

lukasabbat amazing weekend, we should do that more ofter

ynclo waiting for ur call 🫀

lukasabbat wont have to wait too long 😉

user13 i refuse to believe they broke up 11 months ago

user14 I'm still mourning that relationship

user15 i miss my parents....

user16 who's that one in the third pic??

user17 new bf??

user18 is that luka sabbat??

user19 who?

user20 he modeled for her last collection

landonorris

liked by mclarenf1, oscarpiastri, maxverstappen1 and 99,729 others

landonorris I was enchanted to meet you

view all 76,814 comments

user1 cmon say it say it lando SAY IT

user2 i just know he wanted to say please dont fall in love with someone else

user3 not everything has to be about yn...

user4 the girl in the second pic???

user5 ikkk i saw that too!!

user6 yn?

user7 fuck no they're totally different

carlossainz55 I'm still better at golf than you

landonorris If you say so mate🫡

user5 is he grieving or soft launching i dont get it

user6 new gf??

user7 i cant believe he's having another girl

user8 they broke up almost a year ago let it go

user9 man deserves to live his life too

danielricciardo Nice car

landonorris His name's Benito

user10 are you kidding me??

user11 is he @ u know where??

user12 not the same place, it didn't have a golf field

user13 please stop the delusions

user14 we were robbed of lui and benito being siblings

user15 it hurts to remember her say that he was forever a part of her soul and now look at this mess

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, danielricciardo, DUSK.CLOTHING and 96,923 others

ynclo te juro que no me imaginaba lo que se sentía ni lo que sería un verano sin ti.

view al 81,341 comments

user1 he got p2 today, this post was his

user2 she's allowed to move on...

user3 no bc why would she post this the same day of the race after he got p2??? i like to be delusional to think this WAS abt him

user4 so basically the caption says "i swear i didn't imagine what would feel or what would be a summer without you."

user5 in the picture "i wish her good luck, 'cause it's not like anyone can get to you"

user6 thank u for ur services

user7 This IS about him and no one can convince me otherwise

user7 the post the caption the race....

user8 she misses him i just know it

lukasabbat nice summer 🌞🌞

ynclo it always is with you <3

user9 i REFUSE to get over them

user10 we were robbed

user11 go on tell him ERES ARTE

user12 she called him a museum once

user13 i need a thread with all the beautiful things she said to him

arthurleclerc but when i invited u to monaco....

ynclo omg kids shouldn't be allowed to have phones

arthurleclerc ur so funny😐

landonorris

liked by oscarpiastri, mclarenf1, danielricciardo and 104,811 others

landonorris P2 BABYYYY!!!! Thanks to the team for making this possible and to OP81 for making this super special as a double podium. This one's for you.

view all 101,814 comments

user1 THIS ONE'S FOR YOU????

user2 do you remember the "i wanted it on my own but i pictured us together"? yea this is probably how she felt

user3 the way he probably did mean this to be for her... the last time he was on podium was when they broke up

user4 hes seeing someone else please respect them.

user5 i miss her congratulating him in the comments:((

user6 i can't believe it's been 11 months since his last podium!! and now it's double for mclaren!!!

danielricciardo So happy for you!! Totally deserved

landonorris Thanks mate!!!!

user7 at least danny cheered for him..

user8 "I'll never stop cheering his victories"

user9 "may he find love, health and success in his new journey"

user10 "For all he had given to me I'm forever grateful"

user11 "AND WILL ALWAYS HAVE HIM IN MY HEART"

carlossainz55 Congrats champ!

landonorris Thank you Calos!!!!!

oscarpiastri congrats on p2 LN4

landonorris Congrats on P3 OP81

user12 remember when he posted lost my girl but she aint worth the prize? yea it meant a whole year without winning shit

user13 11 months (and 2 days but who's counting??)

mclarenf1

liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris, ynclo and 381,204 others

mclarenf1 Congratulations for P2 and P3, Lando and Oscar! Double podium for McLaren today, we're so proud of you guys 🍾 🍾🍾

view all 81,040 comments

ynclo congrats guys!! absolutely deserved💥🎉

mclarenf1 miss u girly!! alpha tauri stole u from us

ynclo the best of both worlds!

user1 miss girly in the comments?????

user2 she also liked and commented on oscar's post,,, i dont like it here anymore

user3 is it really over just like that?

landonorris Let's goooooo

user4 i dont want to get over them

danielricciardo Another spectacular race, keep it up!

user5 do we collectively remember lqndo aiming the champagne to yn EVRYTIME he got podium?? bc i was just kinda expecting him to do that

user6 when he looked at the public and he got sad:(((

user7 wanted it on my own yet pictured us together 😭😭😭😭

user8 i know he's happy but doesn't look like it in the second pic

user9 used the whole bottle on the podium...

user10 she was in 2/3 of the relevant posts abt this... mclaren and oscar but not lando

user11 i was hoping to see her in the likes at least

user12 i think ppl forget that she liked f1 and was a huge mclaren fan even before lando signed w them://

user13 she's back at the paddocks???

user14 only in monza and monaco tho, she said she doesn't have the time to travel as much anymore

user15 and whenever danny wants her there too, she was there today

user16 she was????

user15 with the alpha tauri team yes

ynclo

liked by dusk.clothing, vogue, lukasabbat and others

ynclo I'm glad to say that even after all this time I can still let myself create the way I do, it's been three months since my last collection and I decided to take a break before starting again. A lot of things have happened in the last year and I'm still healing but with lots of people I love (and that love me back) by my side; it's not what you asked, but I got my first photoshoot as a model rather than a designer and wish to share it with you... It's a small project I had with @lukasabbat and now we can share it with you all. Please enjoy!

the original poster limits who can comment

lukasabbat amazing as always! told you modeling was your thing

ynclo it certainly was something, cant say im gonna take your job

lukasabbat im happy modeling for you then

lewishamilton Beautiful photoshoot and designs! Truly an all-rounder. This is your thing

ynclo thanks dude 😭😭

danielricciardo Great project, next time put more clothes on.

ynclo ur jealous that i can justify being naked on media

danielricciardo I don't need an excuse to be naked on media lol

vogue Next time with us? 😉

ynclo It will be a pleasure! ❤️

ynclo

liked by lukasabbat, dusk.clothing, vogue and others

ynclo y solo mírame con esos ojitos lindos (hace tiempo que no envío "buenos días, te amo")

view all comments

user1 so it's officially over now?

user2 i hate that she moved on

user3 it was officially over since last year

user4 caption "and just look at me with those pretty eyes (it's been a while since i sent 'good morning, i love you')"

user5 so it was luka sabbat after all

user6 i dont like this but i hope she's happy

lukasabbat yo no te busqué, chocamos en el trayecto

ynclo con tu alma es la que yo conecto

user4 lukasabbat "i wasn't looking for you, we met in the process" ynclo "with your soul i connect"

ynclo girll???

user7 no wonder she looked better than ever

user8 where is the "my soul cant long for someone else"???

danielricciardo Still can't believe he doesn't like fast cars

ynclo me neither 😞😞😞 honestly huge red flag

danielricciardo I'd rather sign with Ferrari if I were you

user9 FINALLY SOMEONE WHO CAN GET HER

user10 I agree!! This man's not only a model but a fashion designer as well, I'm sure she's gonna peak in no time

user11 ??

user12 why is she still dating men??

user13 no hate to lando cuz i respect him but luka looks like he's gonna be good for her

user14 idc who she dates i just hope her designs dont go downhill

arthurleclerc ask him when are we gonna play cod again???

ynclo get away from my man wtf

lukasabbat wanna stream with me tomorrow?

user15 do you think she's happy with him?

user16 cant believe her last interaction w l*ndo was three months ago and it wasn't even w him

user17 they interacted again????

user18 no the didn't, she just congratulated mclaren for the double podium

user19 what do u mean "with your soul i connect"??? girly didn't u say YOUR soul couldn't long for someone else???

user20 let the poor girl date whoever she wants omg😭😭

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, oscarpiastri, danielricciardo and 99,712 others

landonorris and the best is me

view all comments

maxverstappen1 Get P1 then talk bro

landonorris Git P1 thin tilk bri 🙄🙄

maxverstappen1 💥

user1 where's the yn translator when we need them????

user2 fr is he starting to shade her in spanish now??

user3 bet he's asking carlos to translate things for him

user4 the pic is literally a benito song lmao it's called (in english) "wish you the best"

user5 AND THE BEST IS ME OMG

user6 bro mad abt her last post i just know he is

user7 girly hurt him so bad he learnt spanish lmao

danielricciardo Fire song 🔥

landonorris It's on repeat 🫡🫡

danielricciardo Bet it is

user8 not danny shading him😭😭

user9 it took him over a year to acknowledge that she was the best on his life

carlossainz55 I didn't know you liked spanish songs!!

landonorris Only this one

carlossainz55 You should listen to Chayanne

user10 character development?

user11 Focus on winning P1 bestie!! Maybe she'll talk to you then

user12 lando punching the air rn

user13 bet he's getting first place next race only bc of this comment

user14 Took him watching her move on to realize he was an asshole

user15 nice pics, looking hot as usual

user16 cant believe he wants her back????

user17 fr im so sure he'd be happier if they dont get back together

user18 so true yn deserves better

charlesleclerc 🔥🔥

landonorris 💥💥

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

vii. all of my enemies started out friends

— the one where you get the sense you've been betrayed.

warnings: death threats, foul language, a panic attack. 2.7k words. (+written articles) not proofread whoops.

masterlist ✢ next

By Alana Blake

WELL, all of our doubts have been cleared, here is the reason as to why our ex favorite couple called it quits months ago. Thank you to our anonymous source for spilling the tea!

First things first, let's not lie to ourselves, we all thought it had been Aidan Kim who had finally dumped y/n's ass for good. But as it turns out, he wanted to keep her forever? Aidan, boy...

Anyway, one night in February (ehem Valentine's Day, so cliché) he dropped down on one knee, popped the question with a beautiful Tiffany's ring and... Y/N SAID NO! Insert gasps here.

Without a good enough reason to justify her denial, y/n immediately ran to the opposite coast, where she currently resides with best friend, beauty guru and influencer Victoria Presley.

RELATED: Victoria Presley inaugurates first 'Presley Beauty' store in Beverly Hills.

Our source also confirmed y/n's blooming romance with Formula 1 pilot, Charles Leclerc.

"They are seeing each other, yes," the source said, "y/n doesn't want to call it a 'thing' since she's probably going to get bored of the poor guy.''

Well, there you have it. It looks like y/n's only talent is being a maneater. Somebody warn Charles Leclerc he's just piece of meat in the eyes of y/n!

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley attends the Monaco Grand Prix.

→ y/n y/ln reportedly auditioned for 'The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes'

→ Aidan Kim is currently recording his first solo album.

𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙎𝙊𝙈𝙀𝙏𝙃𝙄𝙉𝙂 𝙏𝙊 𝙎𝘼𝙔? 𝙇𝙀𝘼𝙑𝙀 𝘼 𝘾𝙊𝙈𝙈𝙀𝙉𝙏 𝘽𝙀𝙇𝙊𝙒!

You're seeing the top comments.

Anonymous – 4 hr ago

If I ever see y/n on the street i will literally kill her

sk12z8io – 3 hr ago

I KNEW SHE NEVER DESERVED AIDAN

mickeyyy – 40 min ago

she fucking cheated you cannot convince me otherwise

chiqin– 10 min ago

oh she's vile, rejecting a marriage proposal and getting together with another dude two months later? TRASH.

Anonymous – 10 min ago

I want to know who the source is and why are they speaking until now

WHO would have thought? y/n y/ln the "Queen of RomComs" where cheating is basically a Deadly Sin, is in fact, a cheater!

The news about y/n rejecting Aidan Kim's marriage proposal came out only a few hours ago via Inside Out, and while they claim y/n didn't have a good enough reason not to get engaged to Kim, we believe quite the opposite.

Having a side-piece is a perfectly good reason, actually. Sources, who wished to remain anonymous, confirmed that at the time of the proposal, y/n was already seeing Monegasque pilot Charles Leclerc, but they had been able to keep it a secret until Elix contract made y/n start showing up at Grand Prix.

Although the information spreading around is still unclear, we can be sure of two things: Aidan Kim dodged a bullet and y/n is probably the worst person on Earth.

#Y/NIsOverParty

June 3rd Barcelona, Spain.

You're sitting with Charles and Carlos when you get the first ping on your phone. You don't give it much thought, Mildred told you she'd send you two script excerpts she wanted you to practice for an audition video, plus your phone doesn't even really stop ringing.

Spain has been fun so far, you have been around both Carlos and Charles around a lot lately. Carlos is always keen on dropping facts about his country and you got, just like with Charles, his special edition Ferrari merch. This time you wear it, because fuck fashion podcasts.

Charles doesn't let this slip, feigning annoyance that you prefer to wear a Spain cap than a Monaco one, and telling you he will in fact take it personally. But he doesn't, of course, he's thrilled you're more comfortable around both of them. Enough to join them for dinner yesterday and today.

The Ferrari boys are talking about FP3 and how Qualifying might go later. They've done pretty well this weekend, and you're hoping Carlos will end the Grand Prix on the podium like Charles did last week.

"Is that your phone?" Carlos asks, he's tried his best for the last few minutes to ignore the never-ending flow of notifications, even after you've silenced it, the vibration still makes him lose focus on the conversation.

"Sorry," you wince, knowing how annoying it is. "It's probably Vic."

"Everything okay?" Charles frowns, following your hands as you take your phone out of your pocket again to activate the Do Not Disturb.

"Yeah, I don't—"

Your sentence hangs in the air unfinished as you read the screen, the last notification comes from Matilde an 'are you okay? call me' text. And then your eyes slide to the BREAKING NEWS from People Magazine, whose notifs you forgot to deactivate. You don't even know why you have the app anymore.

The preview shows your picture, a red x on your face and the words 'Cheater Alert' capitalized and bold.

"y/n?" you see the motion of Carlos' hand from the corner of your eye, but by now, you're obsessively scrolling down the 150+ notifications on your phone. Texts, calls, e-mails, tweets, comments.

You stop in the INSIDE OUT EXCLUSIVE the moment your eyes catch the word 'ring'.

They know.

And if they know, everyone knows.

Charles pushes his chair back, making the half empty styrofoam cup of coffee you were drinking spill all over the table. "What's wrong?"

Aidan has told them. Aidan fucking Kim, petty and vengeful Aidan Kim has told them about the ring. Because he wants to bury you so far down, you'll never be able to claw your way out of the hole.

Who else could have been? You told no one. Not a soul. How can a person not even tell their parents that she got a marriage offer and said no immediately, right before hopping on a plane to the other side of the country?

But cheating? Where the fuck did that come from? He's even lying now. Because he hates you, of course he hates you. Aidan Kim is not used to humilliation and that's what you did when you rejected him. And although it was an unspoken accord that you wouldn't tell anyone about it, he has done so, because what is better for his upcoming album than being the heartbroken artist with the bitch for an ex.

People are going to write 'It's your loss y/n!' with their proof of streaming for a retweet from Aidan's account, managed by a 34-year-old guy who can't stand Aidan's fans on a normal basis.

"I– I have to–" your mouth is dry, tongue thick and heavy, and you feel the cold shower of anxiety from your nape to your tailbone. This can't be happening.

And you don't know what you have to do. Call Mildred and Walter? Ask them what the fuck is going on over there and start an actual damage control PR thing? It's too late for that.

"What can we do?" Carlos questions this time, worry flows in his voice at the change in your semblance. "What can we do for you?"

You're scared, because people have talked shit endlessly for weeks thinking it had been Aidan who dumped you, changing the narrative, twisting it time and time again.

They have suspected you broke up with Aidan, they have dragged you through the mud, called you heartless for getting over him so quickly. Paired you up with Charles and called you both problematic for breathing around each other and being friends.

And they might have forgiven you eventually, but not if you actually broke Aidan Kim's heart and burned down his dream of a house, a marriage and a happy family. And by cheating.

He's lying, but who would believe you?

Your already agonizing career is never coming out of this. And at this point, maybe acting seems irrelevant compared to the way people are going to treat you from now on. No one forgets a woman who humiliates a man so publicly. She doesn't deserve to be forgiven, not when she's such a bitch.

"I can't breathe," you wheeze, clutching your hand against the fabric of your shirt. Your hands are prickling, and your brain is fogged, foreign. "I can't breathe."

Neither man touches you as you lean down, hands on your knees, shutting your eyes so hard you think your eyeballs might explode.

You feel one of the boys move, but you don't open your eyes to see who left. Your priority is getting air into your lungs, and you can't seem to do even just that.

"y/n," Charles is the one who stayed, and despite speaking slowly, you recognize the underlying panic there. "I'm going to touch you, okay?"

Your only response is a strangled noise as you breathe through your mouth.

Charles runs his hand down your back, you can feel his rings and the heat of his palm. “Try to breathe through your nose, y/n.”

He feels stupid for saying it, but it’s the only advice he sees fit. Carlos left to look for the medical staff that Ferrari takes with them everywhere.

You squeeze your thighs with your hands and again take a gasp of air. “I can’t. Help me, I can’t.”

Charles makes you straighten up by grabbing your shoulders gently. “Please try. You’re speaking you can breathe.”

You breathe through your nose, but it isn’t enough to relieve the pressure on your chest.

Carlos comes back just when you feel like you will pass out. And you let the medical staff lead you away, leaving both your friends behind, worried sick and wondering what could have possibly triggered you like that.

You're still lying in the gurney after Qualifying is done. The medical team doesn't let you watch it, you should not be subjected to strong emotions right now. The thing is, the strong emotions haven't even started. You need to talk to your team, and you want to talk to Aidan. You've only heard from him twice since your breakup in February, the last time three days ago when he texted you 'out of SoHo'.

In all honesty, you're not certain you'll be able to hold a conversation with him without telling him to go fuck himself or having another panic attack. But you must know the reasoning behind his actions, no matter how stupid it is. How angrier it will make you. You want to understand why the person that once loved you is stabbing you in the back like this.

You're free to go an hour later, and it's some kind of miracle that you're relieved of your Elix duties. Maybe it has to do with the disaster that Ferrari's Quali was, in contrast to the Free Practices. No one wants to make things worse, or have pictures to remember it.

By the time you're back in your hotel room, Aidan's campaign has been transported to Youtube. And it's only 10 am in Los Angeles.

FROM AIDAN KIM’S YOUTUBE CHANNEL “STATEMENT ON RECENT NEWS”

You are looking at the top comments.

star5dan he had to find out he got cheated on thanks to People? fuck

flowerbedkim I'm not even joking, i will end y/n

dropbeats1 it takes a lot of courage to propose, y/n is def a bitch

stardomyn you knew y/n for years and you can't defend her? she is obviously not a cheater.

aidanyn this keeps getting worse i can't pick a side😭

You read the articles sitting in your bed. Legs crossed and back curved, with your shoulders slumping forward. It's like you have the whole weight of the world back in them, and you're not even sure you're strong enough to carry it anymore.

Did you really not have a good enough reason to say no? Not having a good reason to say yes should be enough, at least that's the way you think about it.

But you had many, many reasons. Some you'd denied yourself to even think about before he pulled the ring out of his pocket.

Every relationship has its ups and downs, you knew that. You know that. But how long can you stay in an all time low?

Maybe you lied to yourself saying Aidan had never hinted marriage was in his plans. He mentioned it in interviews, and in casual conversations with other people. He would tell you that “in the future” you’d have to reconsider being an actress. That you should really think about the roles you wanted to take on so they didn’t haunt you (and you hypothetical children) in the future.

Aidan would drop comments about how you should stick to the easy parts of acting, making the same movies, for example. How you should behave a certain way and shut your mouth in specific occasions.

How you had to change yourself to fit into what he wanted.

And you did. Because at first, it wasn’t that he wanted you to change for him. He made you think he wanted you to change for your own good.

And that night in February, you realized you were scared. The thought of spending the rest of your life like that terrified you. So you ran, and that was really the bravest thing you could have done.

And the bravest thing you can do now is stand up to him. Because he cannot keep on stepping on you and destroying what you built for yourself.

"Hello?"

You're shocked he actually picks up your call but you can't back down now.

"What the fuck, Aidan?" you try not to raise your voice, you do your best to help the strain that comes from not crying. You're furious, not sad, but you know Aidan won't recognize the difference. "What the fuck is this whole circus you're putting up now?"

The way he chuckles makes you want to throw your phone across the room.

"Do you really think that was me?" he asks, changing his voice to a lower tone. "Do you think I willingly say the girl I invested three years of my life on said she didn't want to marry me?"

"Well who else could have been? Do you think I'm stupid?"

"It was not me, y/n! Jesus Christ I don't know how many people—"

"So it was your sister, that bitch?"

"Don't you call me sister a bitch ever again."

Well Mia Kim is a bitch. And she was for the whole three years you dated Aidan.

Starting with telling anyone who would listen that you were after Aidan for clout, even after you hooked her up with your acting instructor and helped her get a minor role in Outer Banks. Comments on your appearance, on your acting, and the way you Aidan and you got along. And the worst part was that every time you two saw each other she acted like she adored you.

"She is a bitch, Aidan, and this is something she would do out of spite! Also, cheating? Are you fucking kidding me?"

"I don't put anything past you, y/n." Aidan chuckles again, it's sarcastic and bothersome.

"Fuck you, Aidan. We knew each other for years, and suddenly I'm the worst person on Earth?"

"Yeah, maybe you always were and whoever is letting people know is doing the world a huge favor."

Your skin isn't thick enough yet, and his words hit the way he intended.

"I'm glad people are eating you alive, y/n," he continues as your silence prolongs, you can't swallow the tears now. "It's what you deserve."

He hangs up before you can respond, and it doesn't matter anymore. There's nothing you can say to make him admit to his crimes, and he's happy. He's happy you're being torn down in such a vile way.

The phone inside your hotel room rings and you pick it up before being able to pull yourself together. The 'what?' that lashes out catches the woman downstairs off guard, and this is another thing you add to the list of things that make you the worst person on planet Earth.

"Someone is here for you, Miss y/ln," she says in an apologetic tone, "Mr. Leclerc?"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to speak to you like that," you take a deep breath, and then process her words. "Leclerc?"

"Hmhmm," she hums, "Should I send him upstairs?"

The alarm clock next to the phone shows 19:57 in red and you remember you agreed to meet him and Carlos for dinner at seven thirty. You didn't even shower or changed.

"Uh– yeah, please do."

You splash cold water on your face and brush your teeth in the two minutes it takes him to get to your room.

Charles knows there's something wrong the moment you open the door, and it doesn't take a genius, really. But you wish he was oblivious to the way you look and the off-putting energy you give off.

"I'm sorry I'm late," you say making space for him to enter the mess of a room you have. "Is Carlos waiting downstairs?"

"He's at the restaurant already," Charles shrugs, it doesn't matter that you've made them both wait over twenty minutes. "Are you okay?"

You sit on your bed, letting him stand in the middle of the room, like a mannequin out of place. You have two options, lying to him, pushing everything under the rug and lookin for your purse to meet Carlos downstairs. Or tell the truth and burst out crying in front of him.

You don't like either.

So you stay silent, looking at patterns in the rug and trying to get your racing brain to come to a stop, if only to have a decent meal with the two guys that saw you panic hours ago.

Charles sits down next to you, the mattress gives to his side, sinking. "Do you want to talk about it?"

You eye his hand as he places it on top of the washed out knee of his jeans. The prominent veins and the three rings on his fingers. You remember the way it felt when he ran his hand down your back.

"I don't." you reply, taking your eyes back to his face. You wonder if he knows, just doesn't want to mortify you about it. That he's 'just a piece of meat' and a 'homewrecker'. You wonder if Carlos knows too.

"Do you still want to come downstairs?" Charles tilts his head, giving you a smile that lifts one corner of his mouth.

"Sure, let's do that," you get up from the bed smoothing your jeans down although there's nothing wrong with them, and regaining that self-consciousness that you didn't even change your clothes for dinner while Charles is looking like that in a clean white shirt. "Sorry for being late."

Charles lets you roam around the room looking for your purse for two minutes, still sitting on the edge of your bed, before speaking again. "We really like you, y/n. I really like you."

You snap out of your self-induced trance, pretending like you were checking you had everything you needed in your purse. "What?"

"Carlos and I really like you, and so does Matilde, and that friend of yours Victoria. You're not alone, I hope you know that."

He's seeing right through you again.

And the effort that took you to pull yourself together and the self-deprecating words that ran through your head to force yourself not to cry in front of him are all left behind, as you burst out crying.

You let Charles hold you, his right hand on the nape of your neck while the other soothes you the way it did earlier. He doesn't complain about the way your tears stain his shirt, and doesn't even make a sound as you sob.

And you stay like that for as long as you need to, although you haven't cried nearly enough. It has to suffice for now. Because you have to go back to L.A. and fix the mess Aidan created.

─── team principal radio: ❝i feel like i'm doing rowoon super dirty by having him as aidan kim, tbh. anyway, i hope you enjoyed this chapter! reblogs and comments/asks are highly appreacited, i'd love to know your thoughts!♡❞

✰ paddock club members: @sassyheroneckgiant @flowerchild-96 @fangirlika @shegotboreddsoo @roseamongthorns13 @cissyp @chimchimjiminie16 @saturnsrinqs @roni-midnights @gayyvodka6 @studioreader @its-ash-not-grey @lu-morningstar-2 @ferraribabe @reidsworld @feelslikestrawberries @celestialams @kosmosgalore @heeseung-baby @missenclod @buendiabebeta @mycenterfold @aces-tattooartist @burningrred @you-bleed-just-toknowyouarealive @rainybabe25 @ru-kru @lazybot @teenagedreams-cl @cool-ultra-nerd @kuskumu @formulakay3 @bisexual-desi @somanyfandomsbruh @icarus-nex @haziefairy @xjval @xoxoloverb @sainzleclercs @headinthecloudssblog @incoherenciass @bookophiliac @torrie421 @nooshytushie @azxulaa

want to join the paddock club? click here!

[mrderofcr0ws]

idk about you guys but rooks rest in HOTD is not canon to me. the rest of this show isn’t canon from here on out because it’s obvious they hold no respect for aemond’s character or any character in fire and blood they way they were written originally. so many of the F&B characters have been written entirely wrong and it’s so blood-boiling. especially the greens!!! so many of them have such compelling stories and they’ve been thrown in the trash!

they’ve thrown helaena aside. in fire and blood, she’s a dragon dreamer! she has a dragon! she had three kids she loved so much! she is a valued queen of the realm! what is she in the show? the quiet one no one listens to or tries to connect with besides her own mom.

they’ve utterly ruined aemond. in so many ways, they’ve changed him drastically. while aemond does have hard feelings with aegon and makes some sly and questionable comments about aegon not being fit to rule— HE DOESNT TRY TO KILL HIS BROTHER???? I genuinely cannot fathom how the writers could sit in the writers room and be like, “yes. this plot line. this is gold.” they’ve ruined him. they have fucking ruined him, his loyalty, and what he is fighting for. “you think you can fly about the realm and steal MY brothers throne?” — AEMOND TARGARYEN!!!!! and you’re telling me he attempts to murder his brother? no. fuck off, no.

they’ve made aegon seem like nothing but an idiot. aegon may not be as smart as aemond but oh my god he’s not some blubbering stupid idiot who can’t sit still. they cut out his whole reason for ascending the throne as well and that is so damning to his character. aegon takes the throne because criston and alicent place the worry of his siblings being slain in his mind. they convince him rhaenyra will kill him, his siblings, and his children— so he takes the throne. “what kind of brother steals his sisters birthright?” — AEGON TARGARYEN

they have reduced alicent to criston’s fling and vise versa for criston. alicent was a strong and compelling character— and now we have to watch her give herself a miscarriage? really? the woman who was so adamant about her son ascending the throne is sitting there and telling him to do nothing after saying he should be asking questions and learning from them???? “nothing” is the answer you give your son — the king — after he asks for your advice, alicent? really? it just proves she and everyone around her raised aegon to be a puppet— and she’s so lost inside her own “sins” she can’t even see how damned her children are because she doesn’t take the time to actually care for them.

they’re going to introduce daeron soon but show watchers have no idea who he is. when he shows up, it’s not going to be meaningful. just like when aegon started acting all loving and silly on screen with his kids and it left being people like “wow, what the fuck???” IF YOU DONT SHOW THE CHARACTER OR WRITE THEM CORRECTLY, PEOPLE WONT FEEL ATTACHED TO THEM CORRECTLY!!!!

THE MISCHARACTERIZATION OF THESE CHARACTERS IS KILLING THIS SHOW!!!!!!!!

even with rhaenyra. i love that she wants to uphold peace and i think it’s so valiant, but everyone is ready for rhaenyra the cruel. give us maegor with tits the way she is in the books and stop having her care so much for alicent. it’s killing her reign. the men in her council are harping her and her not being around during the start of a wartime is maddening to watch. yes, she’s a mother. yes, she wants peace. but peace can’t be achieved through Alicent!!! I loved their relationship in the younger years, but there is nothing to salvage and I’m so fucking happy jace snapped at her. she shouldn’t care for alicent at all— because alicent in F&B was her older step-mother that didn’t get along with her. even in HOTD after rhaenyra knows alicent usurped her throne over a miscommunication, there shouldn’t be anymore “but we were once friends” moments. idc if it was a mistake on alicent part— that mistake is something she isn’t even willing to admit or fix. in rhaenyra’s eyes, alicent should no longer mean anything from here on out.

rhaenyra is also no more a pillar of peace than aegon is. they both do terrible things whether or not it takes rhaenyra longer to start doing them. they both get people killed. they BOTH tear down the realm in attempt to grapple for the throne.

it’s fucking exhausting at this point watching the writers play a game of “this side is more morally righteous” when they’re all bad. it’s even more frustrating when the cost of “this side is better than this side” comes by destroying these characters and ruining the moments that define them!!!

rooks rest was a shit show. not only did they make aemond do something ENTIRELY out of character for him, they didn’t even give rhaenys her correct death. she doesn’t fall to her death. she gets burned like a true dragonrider.

rest in piece to rhaenys— and to aemond because they just dug his whole character a grave to jump into when people watch next weeks episode.

[eydi-andrius]

Agape

Agape is the kind of love that is felt by a person willing to do anything for another

cw/tw: dark!reader, lowborn (undisclosed) noble reader, delusions, heartbreak, character death, graphic description of death, deception, manipulation, implied sexual content, story is soooooo long and tags are not exhausted. PLEASE READ THE WARNINGS!!!

pairings: aemond targaryen x reader

a/n: i was thinking about writing for a dark reader for a while now but i have trashed this story for like so many times. but i felt so bad throwing it away since it was technically done. SO I hope you all like this one hehe

As always, thank you for your support. I appreciate any comments and reblogs. It motivates me and makes my day hehe

summary: the heartbreak of someone lead to the death of another

~~~~~~~~

“Gods! Would you stop fiddling?” Aegon groaned in frustration as he massaged his temple. The way his brows knit together confirmed that he must have drunk too much again. His face was much paler than it usually was and his silver hair was messy and all over his face.

Concerned, you gave the water you had with you and your nose scrunched in disgust when you caught a whip of his smell. He smells like alcohol and sweat. It is now noon, but he seems like he has woken up.

“Don’t give me that look. I would never come to this god forsaken place if you did not invite me.”

You swallowed your contempt and did your best not to roll your eyes in front of the eldest prince. He calls the library the god forsaken place because Aemond stays here to read. Although today, he was practicing the sword with Ser Criston Cole. You truly do not understand how he treats his younger brother like a twat when all his life, Aemond had to do his all to cover up for Aegon’s shortcomings.

“I never thought you would care.” 

And you are only here because you were afraid of the Queen finding out that you were drunk again and left Helaena alone during dinner.You kept your mouth shut and made sure not to follow with the words you have for him. You indeed asked him to come here and insulting someone you wished to help will only give you a hard time.

Instead, you cleared your throat and you heard him tutting in annoyance as his lilac eyes stared at you.

This bastard truly acts as if you owe him something. You still do not understand how Aemond became so perfect in what he does and his oldest brother is this useless.

You breathed deeply and smiled, the sweetest as you could, before you opened your mouth to speak.

“Tell me who was chosen to be Aemond’s bride.” You held his eyes with determination. It took a while as you two stared back at each other until he laughed with mirth. His voice boomed at the corners of the room and he was gasping for air as he did his best to compose himself. 

“Ha!.....You called me….in here….in secret…..to ask me about something like this?” He was holding his stomach as he continued laughing. Tears were even coming out of his eyes in amusement. 

“I……did.” You bit your lip, unsure. Maybe you should have relied on bribing the servants. You cannot help but feel stupid. The danger of Aemond knowing you were asking about his marriage was more of a threat to you than being with Aegon.

“Silly girl.” He laughed a bit more before he collapsed on the chair he was sitting at. He was laying there comfortably, staring at the ceiling.

“You put yourself in danger by meeting with me in secret instead of asking my brother about his betrothal. Do you know what the people would call you if they found out you were alone with an adulterous prince? A whore.” He said as a matter of truth, still not looking at you.

You know the danger you put yourself into. It was not as if you did not try to ask Aemond. You did. Many times. Many tries. Somehow, somewhat, he evaded your questions. So you bribed his servants but none of them knew who it was. But they promised they would tell you as soon as they heard news of her name. You trusted them, not because of the payment you have given them, but because you grew up in the castle with these people. You can trust them, right?

Until you caught word of the purpose of his last flight with Vhagar. Words claimed that he went to meet his chosen betrothed that day. No news was delivered to you from the servants. When you tried to confront them, they would give you excuses and reasons. No one can even look you in the eyes. You felt betrayed and alone. All of them had turned their backs on you.

“I know the danger I put myself into. But no matter how many times I ask, no one can tell me the truth. All I wanted to know was who she was.” You gasped in surprise when your voice cracked, laced with pain. You swallowed and did your best not to look at Aegon whose head was now risen and eyes directed at you.

Silence was loud between the two of you. He was just staring. Out of habit, you fiddled with your fingers. An act you do when you are nervous. An act hated by your family. It was more than annoying, it often left your fingers wounded. A noble lady destroying her soft hands was something not wanted. But was tolerated by Aemond. No, most of the time, he would hold your hand to stop you from picking the skin out of your fingers. And you would feel the heat crawling on your face. The blood rushing to your cheeks. His calloused hands were warm and comforting. 

You were woken up by your reverie when Aegon’s chair scraped the floor and he stood up. You sat still and was waiting for him to leave when he stopped beside you. You felt his large hand pat your hair. As if comforting you. You looked up and met his eyes.

In anger, you slapped his hand away from your hair and he only gave a deep sigh. He continued walking past you and was half-way opening the huge mahogany doors, when he stopped midway. Licking his lips, he spoke.

He looked at you with pity. You did not like that. Being given a look of pity from the most pitiful person in this castle is much more insulting than being a low rank noble. It disgust you because you know you were far better than Aegon. How could he?

“It was a Baratheon girl.” Then slammed the door shut. His footfalls echoes outside and slowly fades away. The sound of the door closing was ringing in your ears while his words spiraled inside your head.

A Baratheon girl……..How could you even be on par with her?

Warm tears run down your cheeks and you close your eyes to calm yourself. You had seen this coming but you still dreamt of the day he would ask for your hand. Foolish imaginations of a life with Aemond and happily being together, full with his child. You thought that your love for him would be enough for him to forget his obligation as a prince and he will choose to marry you. 

You were a fool for thinking he would choose you and turn his back on his duties as a prince.  

You should have known better. 

After many times he had rejected you. 

Especially after that night.

The rain poured heavily on your face, almost painful, and it soaked your light green dress.Yet, you still chose to stand on the place where you asked; begged Aemond to meet you. One last time. You told yourself. 

You sent him a letter which contains an apology and a chance to talk to him again. The hands holding your dress grasped the satin, nails digging on your skin, as you tried your best not to cry.

You wore this beautiful dress because you noticed how his eyes linger more whenever you have this dress on. But now, it was soaking wet and the feather light fabric hugged your body heavily. It feels disgusting.

The loud crackle of thunder spook you from where you were standing and that was what made the dam break. You silently cried and stood in the same spot, you have been standing about for hours.

You don’t even know if your body was shaking from the cold or from the agony of losing your closest confidant. Of losing Aemond by admitting to him that you have been in love with since forever. It was a foolish move to stop him from seeking a highborn noble lady’s hand in marriage. 

It was cold that day, you were in panic and not thinking straight, when you ran up to where he was, admitted your feelings, and kissed him with no consent.

It was vivid how his face contorted from shock into rage. You have never seen him so furious. His eyes darkened when he pushed you away and your heart broke in a million pieces when he roughly scrubbed the back of his hand on his lips. An act of trying to erase what you did. He was your first and you were sure, you were his first kiss too.

His voice boomed when he raised his head and ordered you to leave. Scared, you did not think twice, running away from him. Since then, you have never seen him again. The areas he used to walk by were changed. And you know it was to lessen his encounter with you.

Everyday, you felt like a knife was stabbed within you and someone was slowly turning it around to deepen the cut. Everyone who knew and accepted that you were inseparable with Aemond keeps asking what happened. They never caught a glimpse of him around you for days and that was new to them. There were times that even though Aemond was busy, he would find a way just to have tea with you in the afternoon. They were curious about what changed. But you knew better. 

In the Red Keep, only vultures live. They wanted to know what you did to the point of losing the prince’s favor. 

They act as if you do not hear the whispers and speculations. Still you kept your mouth shut or sometimes fed them with lies to stop the sound surrounding you.

You gritted your teeth as you force yourself to smile as you lie on their faces. They nod as if understanding but once they thought you would not hear them, they will start to snicker followed by an insulting remark. The grins on their lips were wide and evil.

How you pray everyday that these ladies be blessed with no fruit and be thrown away for being useless by the very people they thought cared about them.

Your evil thoughts vanished when a heavy cloth was draped over your head. You looked up with surprise and came face to face with the second prince. His hair is a mess and he was wearing his dragon gear. Later, you would realize that he draped his robe over your head. His black gloves gripping the side of his robe to make sure it will not fall. 

“Don’t you dare speak!” He yelled and you flinched from the volume of his voice. You closed your gaping mouth and swallowed. It tasted like salt and you know the rain water was mixed with your tears. 

He then proceeded on getting a parchment from his pocket and the familiar paper was raised on his hand. 

“I was not in King's Landing the whole day. What do you think would happen to you if I did not go home and see this letter!?” He screamed at the top of his lungs and all you could do was stare at him. You don’t even know if it was tears running down your face as you look at him. You haven’t seen him for a long time and you miss him. 

No servants wanted to share his whereabouts so you assumed he would be at the castle. You were lucky that he went back home. 

Delighted to see him, you did not hesitate to wrap your arms around his neck. You were elated that he went right away once he had gotten your letter. You were still important to him and that made your heart sing with joy.

You pulled him out of the hug and held his hands, with a wide grin you shared with him your plans. He must have been worried sick and dying too without seeing you for a while. You were sure he would agree to what you have for him today. 

“I’ve heard in passing that you were looking for a bride. I could be your lady wife and you could be my lord husband. I will always be loyal to you. And I am also the first to taste your lips and you with mine so I think this would be a marvelous idea!” 

A grin was plastered on your lips as you talked to him. But he only stared at you. Then, a dark look passed through his face but you were too happy to see it. 

You grimaced when you felt his hold on your hands tightened. His grip was bruising and intent to hurt. 

“A-Aemond… you’re hurting me.” You tried to pull away your hand but instead, he pulled you forward. You stumbled, inches closer to him when he opened his mouth and told you something. Even with the rain and the chaos, you heard him clear as a sunny day. 

“I cannot marry you. You are a lowborn noble. My family needed power which you will not be able to provide. Let the bond which we first had be the same. You are still my friend. My loyal confidant. Do not ruin it.” After staring for a while, he left you dumbfounded, standing in the rain. 

His straightforward, emotion voided words, echoed throughout your head. 

He has no use of you. 

Your legs weakened and you fell on the ground. Staring at the pitter patter of the rain, his words stabbed you deeply and you fainted from the shock.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

You refused to go out of your chambers as his betrothal was officially announced. The people cheered. Even the servants were excited about the upcoming wedding of the second prince. But you know that everyone was just looking forward to the feast and freedom they would experience during their wedding day. 

Meanwhile, the noble ladies were enthusiastic to meet nobles across the land who would visit to see this wedding. The days after the announcement was a torture for your heart. Although, you did your best to appear unaffected and happy for him.

Of course, there were rumors and insults thrown your way after the news, however, you did not let them in the mask you created. To save yourself and the only connection he had offered to you. 

At the moment, you choose to be in your room to lessen having conversation with anyone. After the confrontation, you have been sick, fever barely going down for days. During those days, you never saw Aemond visit you. He probably chooses not to so he will not be sick, or that’s what you told yourself.

A sound of knocking caught your attention. You were confused because your servant went out and will be back for a while. If it was a visitor, you were in no mood to pretend and smile.

“I am not feeling well. I will go out some other time.” You shouted at whoever was at your door. Sometimes, some noble ladies or even servants knock at your door to check on you and invite you to go out.  However, you refused them for two days now. The shock about the news was still fresh in your mind and you cannot process the pain you were suffering. They will never understand.

“My dear. ‘Tis I Alicient. May I come in?” With a jolt, you stood up and gasped, looking at the door. You did your best to fix your messy hair and straightened your days old chemise. When nothing happened, you decided to cover yourself with a shawl.

“I am going in.” She announced before she pushed the door open and you curtsied immediately. The motion made your head throb but the shock about the Queen’s visit was far greater than what you were feeling.

“Oh dear! Why are you up? You shouldn’t have. You are sick! Look at your pale face. You look so much thinner than when I last saw you.” She worriedly went over to you and held your hand, guiding you towards the nearest seat. You heard the door closed and you assumed that it must be Criston who decided to wait outside due to the status of your undress. You are an unwed lady and no man should see you looking like this. 

The Queen fussed over you. You don’t even know how long until you end up sitting in front of your vanity while she brushes your hair then braids it. It was quiet for a while until she finally opened her mouth to speak.

“I know that you might not be feeling well but I needed to talk to you about an important responsibility I wish for you to accept.” You gulped when she started talking about why she was here. Alicient is a sweet woman but you have been here far too long to pretend a Queen will visit your chamber just to check how you have been. Even her own daughter Helaena doesn’t like her visits.

“The girl will be in need of a lady in waiting. And I knew Aemond had trusted you more than he trusted anyone in the palace. This position will also help your status in Red Keep and in this way, Aemond and his lady wife would be surrounded by their loyal subjects.” She finished as she tied your hair and she looked back at you in the mirror. She must have taken your surprise as a positive reaction and so she smiled.

“Fortnight, the wedding of Aemond will be held.” The eyes that had been staring at your fiddling hands, looked at her from the mirror. She is still focused on braiding your hair. Your mouth opens and closes from shock. That was way too fast. His wedding was announced days ago, yes, but he is no king that needed to be wed as soon as possible.

“We need people around us to whom we can trust. I know I can trust you. Please accept the offer for you and Aemond’s future, dear.” It was impossible that she did not hear about the rumors floating around about you and Aemond. So the fact that she was here to ask you, confirmed that she had spoken to Aemond and he denied any form of feelings for you aside from being his closest friend. With a forced smile, you accepted her offer and she gladly embraced you.

It’s not as if you have a choice either. 

Being a lady in waiting for the second prince’s wife would boost your status and will also help your family. Other ladies deserve this position more than you but the Queen personally asking you to take the position, will solidify your status more than those other ladies.

She gave you one last sweet smile before she tiptoed and kissed your forehead. The action surprised you a bit but Alicient had treated you like her daughter too throughout your childhood. She had wished for you to get well soon and eat a lot so you would recover fast before she left.

Finally, alone to mourn another happy announcement.

~~~~~~~~

The ceremony was a blur. 

The crowd cheered and they wished the newly wife and husband a happy marriage as you stood behind them as they waved to the crowd. 

The feast tasted nothing and you did your task as they have taught you. Your body automatically helped out the bride to her needs throughout the day. 

The whole day, Aegon looks miserable as he was not allowed to drink and be wasted on his brother’s wedding. Helaena helped throw the flowers and she even sang for her brother. Alicient was smiling and she looked at his son with love in her eyes. Meanwhile, you thought you were imagining it but now looking at his silver hair as he drank his wine, you realized that Aemond never looked at you, not even once in your direction. He always feels your eyes if you are looking at him and he has never been subtle calling you out before.

Standing behind them, you stare at his back the whole time but he was unnerved. The only time you pulled your eyes out of him was when the Baratheon girl called your name softly and chuckled lightly when she told you she needed help to change. She smells of wine and you know she was drunk. She was never kind when you first met her. There was an air of pride and status when you introduced yourself to her. She even told you that you should be thankful for the Queen for giving you such an important task. With a bow, you agreed and let her harsh words out of your ear.

She stumbled all the way to her chamber and you did your best to help her not fall. On the way to her room, the quiet of the hallways had made you realize something important. The two will consummate their wedding tonight and as a lady in waiting, you have to stand outside and wait for them to finish.

You will help her prepare. You will hear them. And you will see her after they do it.

What did you do to suffer so much for loving someone more than you love yourself?

“I was told you were close to my husband.” She said with a slur. 

How shameful. 

She acted so mighty when you first saw her but you know well that the pressure of the responsibility had made a small crack to her resolve. Ladies such as her will never know the cruelty of politics in King’s Landing until they are arranged to marry and see it for themselves. 

Now, she is trying her best to assess your loyalty to her and is checking if you are a problem, a secret lover, of the said husband.

“I am merely a lowborn noble who grew up with the prince, my lady. My loyalty lies to those who stood beside him. I am entrusted for your care because he cares for you and your well-being.” You replied, as you helped her remove the pins on her hair. Her jet dark black hair spilled out. It was beautiful and well taken off. 

She nodded and tapped your shoulder. You knew this would not be the last but she was drunk and out of her wits to continue for the night. She stood up and you understood that she needed help with her dress. You assisted her shimmy out of her corset and clothes. And you gave her satin chemise, that she brought for this special day. Once you did a last do over of her look, you bowed and she decided to sit on the bed.

“The one-eyed prince, Prince Aemond is here.” Your ears perked from the sound of his namee and you bite your tongue to stop yourself from looking at his figure as he walked inside the room. With a deep curtsy, you went to his wife’s side and did not dare look at Aemond even though you could feel his eyes on you for a second.

Once he went towards his lady wife. You slowly went to the door, servants followed you out and they quietly closed the door behind you. 

Your eyes widened when it was Ser Criston you saw outside. He nodded in recognition and you did the same. The night will be long for you and your heart.

The sound of whispers, the creak of the bed, the groans and moans was like a torture for you. You know that being a lady in waiting means you have to make sure that they do it to secure an heir but maybe the Queen chose you to be in here to make sure that you will not be a problem. To torture you into giving up having any dreams of being with Aemond. How cruel if that was proven true.

Even with a lot of people outside their door, it was quiet. Except for the flicker of the flames from the torches and occasional hoots of owls. All the while you begged your mind to tune out the louds sounds they were making inside and let your mind wander and think of a fond memory.

You remembered those days where Aemond will look at you so softly and your heart will flutter when he smiles. His hands were soft and warm. He was so beautiful. However, the feeling inside your chest scared you. Your grandfather died from having a weak heart. What if you have it too?

You did not hesitate during that time to visit a maester and let him check your heart. He took your fear seriously when he saw your small face, paled with worry. However, you did not understand when he checked your body and you told him what happened. Not mentioning Aemond’s name. Somehow, it feels embarrassing but you do not know why. 

He smiled oh so kindly and told you that you were a healthy young lady. He also refused to explain why it happened. Instead, he reassured you that your heart is normal and you would understand what it was once you get older.

And you did. 

One day, when the young noble ladies sat down for an afternoon tea. They talked about love that day. They shared the feeling of falling for someone and you can’t help but blushed when you realize what your feelings were. Since then, no matter how much you try not to fall deeper for him, everything he does pulls you into him further. Everyday your heart yearns for his heart to accept your love. 

Thoughts left your mind, when suddenly, the Prince’s servants enter the room. It did not take them long to help Aemond out and you curtsied once he was out. Instead of leaving right away though, he stopped in front of you and you can’t help but straighten your back and look at him. 

“Make sure she will be comfortable. Help her out.” That was his last words before he walked away and slowly went back to his room.

After everyone made sure the Prince had left, followed by Ser Criston, you were the first one to enter the room and you saw the lady sitting on the side, a blanket covering her lithe body, her back turned to the door. She was shaking.

They said that the first always hurts.

Your eyes scan the bed. The sight froze you for a moment but you composed yourself and nodded to another servant to confirm that the wedding was consummated. The dark stain on the white sheet did not lie. The lady’s original servant smiled before leaving. And you knew it was supposed to be a happy moment, but deep inside, your whole heart crumbled to pieces. This night seems to last forever.

Trying not to think about it, you softly called his Lady Wife and told her you readied a bath for her, with oils that will relieve the pain of her first. 

The lady nodded and you bite your tongue to stop yourself from crying. 

~~~~~~~ 

Your death is upon you.

You remembered it was raining that night. 

You remembered feeling hot with pure rage and anger about her lying to Aemond. 

Somehow you caught rumors about the child she was carrying was truly a bastard. It turns out the reason why the Baratheon’s was rushing the wedding was because her daughter was already pregnant. 

You would never care for such things because they were just rumors. Until a month after the wedding. She announced she was carrying an heir. It wasn’t uncommon for her to be pregnant that fast after the times Aemond had visited her chambers. But then you were the lucky one to witness her betrayal. You were carrying out some tasks that morning, when you saw your lady’s knight kissing her hand. The oddest thing was the way they looked at each other. It was full of longing. Then with full passion, Aemond’s wife grabbed the knight’s face and kissed him. You left a silent gasp and did your best to move far away from them, scared about what you had witnessed.

You have told yourself that maybe you saw it wrong but there’s a voice inside you, screaming in anger to save Aemond from their lies. In your free time, in secret, you looked for information about their relationship and you found out that they were indeed lovers. You have sold all your riches you hid for yourself for this important information. And this will not end well.

It was maybe the pure rage that made you do it. You do not know. But earlier all you could see were red from madness…….. until it faded and the only thing in your field of vision was her limp body full of stabbed wounds lying below you. Your hands, red from her blood, and red drips down at the tip of the knife you used to stab her.

Your legs were in between her, completely trapping the lady, and your dress was drenched with a warm, deep red color. You looked at your reflection at the bath water she was supposed to use, that you prepared for her. Your hair was all over the face and your face had scratches from her nails when she fought back.. You were breathing heavily and you watched as your face contorted from rage, to shock, into absolute terror. What have you’ve done!?

In denial, you shook your head, looked around, checking if anyone saw what you did. Once you confirmed no one was around, you quickly came near the bath water and cleaned the blood off your hands, your hair and face.The stench of iron was strong and you can’t help but vomit in disgust.

In panic you stood up, knife clattered on the floor. With shaking hands, you check her nose for any signs of breathing but only her glassy eyes stared back at you. You let out a silent scream.

You were occupied thinking and mumbling about what you should do, what you must do while scrubbing your body raw. That you did not hear the creak of the opening door and footsteps of someone entering the room. Aemond’s voice calling your name froze your body and slowly, you looked at him. His eyes were wide with fear and his mouth agape from shock. You know he doesn’t need an explanation about what happened and it was obvious what you did.

You were mumbling incoherently when you felt someone touched your arms and his calloused hand, grabbed your chin and forced you to look at his lilac eyes. His face was eerily void with emotions when he asked you a question. 

Before he could speak, you were on your knees, hugging his legs, begging for forgiveness. You rambled about what you found. Told him about what you had witnessed. That the child wasn’t his and the marriage was all a plot planted by the Baratheon’s to take advantage of the throne. You even shared what you did to acquire the truth, what you have to sacrifice. But you were so mad that you confronted her yourself when you found out the truth, and it all led to this. You were a sobbing mess and you do not know if he understood your words but you still told him everything….everything you know without missing a beat.

“How sure were you that the child wasn’t mine?”

“The servants from the storm end confessed to me.” You were choking from your own tears as you mouthed where you got the confirmation. He stared at you for a while then you heard him sigh. He then dropped you to the floor and you crawled backwards when he went back out of the door. The worst was already running inside your head. You will die the cruelest way and you admit that you were not ready for it. All you did was protect Aemond. The love of your life, right?

Outside, you heard a grunt, then the door swung open with a bang. You saw him carry the Baratheon girl’s loyal servant inside. He then dropped them off the floor, in front of you. And you gulped. Confused as to what was going on.

“Change your clothes into hers. Then make sure she will wear your clothes.” You frowned about his order but then he looked at you, eyes all serious, and so you nodded and did what he told you to do. He then spoke again and you were surprised by what you were hearing coming from his mouth.

“No one will know about today and that servant will be you now.” Even not fully understanding his intention, you removed your clothes and made sure to clean off the blood on your body before you changed into the servant's uniform. While you were changing, Aemond was busy dragging bodies of the servants and knights you poisoned before killing his wife inside the room. 

“Here and go to the room near the library. Everyone was outside, celebrating for Aegon and to see the celebration, and so I am sure no one will see you. Go behind the wall, we used to hide and you’ll see a secret passageway to go outside. It will take you near the sea. Pretend to be drenched, and buy a new set of clothes. Ride a public carriage boarding to riverlands. Go to my bought home and they will let you in if you show them my seal. Live there for a while and hide. From now on, you are one of the people who will die in this fire. You are now dead. Do not come back.” He instructed, carefully and clearly.

“What fire?” Confused you asked. Until you witnessed how he shoved all the candles at the flammable clothes and fabrics inside the room. You were frozen at your place as you watched the flames eat everything, everyone inside the room. You heard your name but you stood there, stone cold. You cannot take your eyes away from it until he tugged you out of the room. Running and dragging you to the chamber near the library.

He held your hand as you two made way to the secret passageway. It was quiet and only the sound of your feet walking, echoing, on the walls. He then stopped at a corner, with two different turns.

“How about you? I do not understand why you let me go.” You asked worriedly, still out of it. 

“Be safe and be careful. This will be the place we must depart.” He said.

“I will be fine. This path will lead near the room I was last seen by knights. No one would suspect I was with you. Go before the sun rises. Take care and make sure to live through this night. Do not come back to King's Landing.” He squeezed your arm to reassure you one last time. He then gave you his robe he uses as a disguise, and you nodded at him as you ran towards the exit. 

Once outside, you followed his instructions. You pretended to trip on the water and the people around helped you out.You laughed at the vendors and made humor of your status, and they willingly helped you change your clothes. You made sure to buy the most common dress you could buy. After you changed, you made sure that your previous clothes would be underwater, as you wrapped it tightly around a heavy rock, before you dropped it. Watching it be engulfed at the deepest of seas. Then you rode a carriage heading to the riverlands. 

You watched from afar as the billow of smoke was seen at the Red Keep. The people at the market slowly moved towards the castle while your carriage continued moving forward. The truth will turn to ashes in no time. Only the two of you would know what truly happened.

~~~~~~~

In the next town, you caught the whispers about the death of the prince's wife and all of her servants and knights. The news said that the king’s landing was in chaos and the king of storm’s end was furious. They said nothing remained out of those people but ashes and black chalk.

“How cruel. Who could have done something like this? To a pregnant woman too!?” The old folks voiced their fear as they served you with your food. They looked like they were neighbors and it was too early for anyone to arrive at this place so they still have the time for nonsense chitchat.

“Ha! Whoever that was he will surely be killed. I am sure of it.” They continued gossiping and you swallowed the food as fast as you could. You did not even taste it but told the owner it tasted wonderful and gave her a bit of silver added from your bill. She thanked you and wished you well on your journey. 

The walk outside was peaceful, no one was out this early and you enjoyed the sound of the wind. You decided to drop to the town before the Riverlands and throw out the plans Aemond had made for you. 

You were not certain that the child wasn’t his. 

You smiled at the innkeeper as she greeted you when you walked back in. You rented a room to stay at this place to do your other plans. Once inside your room, you sat in front of the fireplace and prayed for the gods for forgiveness for what you have done.

With a deep inhale, you threw his seal on the pot you put atop the scorching fire. You watched before your eyes how it melted and carefully poured it out into small pieces. Once done, you put it in the water to cool it.

The whole process did not take too long and you readied yourself to ride the horse you bought with your coins for another journey. The fire in your eyes cannot be extinguished as you yelled for the horse to run heading towards the north.

No one will know that you lied. 

But if it wasn’t his, then you did it because you love him so much.

If the child was a fruit from him, then the death of that child was the karma he deserved for breaking your heart.

 All your lies will die on that fire and you will start anew in the north where no one dares to live because of the unforgiving cold.

It is true that a person will do anything for love. Tragic maybe for others but you regret nothing.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

The dad who stepped up; John Wick x oc teen

*Author's note*

Okay so this is the first update in what feels like forever. Now that I'm on winter break and away from home I can start to feel the creative juices flowing. I might also post up some other stuff that I've had saved but didn't feel confident in posting before as some christmas gifts for you all.

But this oneshot (possibly might turn this into a series but only AFTER I've seen all the John Wick films. I've seen bits and pieces on youtube but never all the way through *dodges flying objects*) So just to put in prespective this is a prologue before the first film. Like the five years John has once he retires. But I wanna see how all of you like this and if anyone wants to see this turned into a series, give me a shoutout below and comment whether you wish to be tagged or not.

Warnings: Fluff, angst, parental abandonment, cancer mentioned.

Taglist:

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels

@queen-paladin

@waddles03

@plethora-of-things

@psychosupernatural

@remussl0vers

@queensdivas

_______________________________________________________

If you think being a teenage girl is bad enough, try being the teenage daughter of the infamous Baba Yaga.  Well not blood related but I’ve known John Wick for most of my pre-teen/teenage life.  He was a wild card I never expected coming into mine or my mother’s life, hell men like him only exist in my mom’s Fabio romance novels. 

Even though I would later in life learn of who he truly was, I still can’t help but think back to the days when he first came into our lives.

Age 11

It all started when I had came back from my first summer at Camp Walden.  I had learned about this camp from my best friend and I pleaded with my mom for me to go.  At first she acted like she wasn’t even going to allow me to go but then on the last day of school, she had surprised me with an application of approval and a plane ticket for me to go to Camp Walden.

I spent eight weeks at the all-girls camp learning how to fence, canoe, all the typical fun camp stuff.  Made some new friends and would write letters to my mom every single night (as per her conditions since there wasn’t any cell service up there).

I got off the plane with all my bags and looked around the gate until I caught sight of my mom.  She held out a welcome home sign and when she found me from the load of passengers, she and I raced up to each other and hugged each other tightly.  She picked me up rocking me back and forth kissing me repeatedly.

“Oh I hope you had a lousy time at that camp because I am never sending you there again, I missed you too much!”

“I missed you too mom.”

“Wait did you…..you got your haircut?” when I had went I had pretty long hair and now I come back from camp with my hair up to my shoulders.

“Yeah when we were playing truth or dare, a girl was dared to cut someone’s hair and since I had the longest I was the victim. Luckily for me her mom’s a stylist and she learned from her. Are you mad?”

“I would be but she did something I’ve never been able to make you do since you were little.” We both laughed as she held me close to her again and we began to leave the airport.

“So mom how’s your summer been?”

“Oh the typical single mom empty nester. Watching trash tv and drinking mimosas.” I shook my head at her.  “But I wanna hear more about camp. Eight weeks of not hearing your voice is way too long for me.”

“Yeah it was a lot for me too mom. But it was a lot of fun. I got some pics of some foxes that came by the camp.”

“Ohhh exciting. I know you’ll be adding those to your collection my little fox kit.”

“Yeah. And canoeing is much more difficult than they make it seem on TV. We got tipped over like five times and we didn’t even leave the docks.”

“Awww man, I’m sorry baby.” We threw my stuff into the trunk and I rode in the passenger seat while mom drove us out of the airport parking lot and we headed for home.  “Oh by the way your aunt Chessy just had to be here to see you come home so expect to be smothered by her.”

“Did she bring Sammy?” I asked excitedly.

“You know your aunt. Never leaves home without that dog of hers.” I clapped my hands excitedly.

“Also baby I have surprise to tell you once you get settled in.”

“A surprise? What is it?”

“It’s a surprise and like I said I want you to get settled in first before I tell you what it is. It’s tiring flying from coast to coast non-stop so I want you to take as much time as you need to get settled.” I let out a groan as I sat back in the seat.  When you’re a kid and you hear the word ‘surprise’ you never want to wait for it.  But grownups just love to do that to you.

Before long we finally arrived at the house and mom put the car in park in the driveway and turned the engine off.  I stepped out of the car and looked at my house in relief.  The door was left wide open and I immediately heard barking as Sammy, my aunt’s golden retriever raced out and came over to me.

“Sammy!” he came up and sat down allowing me to hug and kiss him.

“Oh now this fully grown woman can’t be my little Sarah can it!?” I heard aunt Chessy’s voice say as she came out.  I let go of Sammy and ran up to her and she too picked me up just like mom did at the airport.  Spinning me around and rocking me back and forth.  “Oh welcome home baby girl. We missed you soo much! Hey,” she separated our hug and took both my arms in her hands as she continued, “Don’t you dare convince your mom to send you that way again for far too long. You’re lucky I soil you too much otherwise I wouldn’t have extended my stay.”

“I love you too aunt Chessy. Camp was fun but there’s truly no place like home.”

“Amen to that sister. You’re just in time I made cornbread and chili your favorite.”

“Did I just hear cornbread and chili?” mom perked up as she carried my bags over her shoulder.

“Yeah it’s on the stove but Sarah gets the first bowl. And Helen don’t carry all that weight, that’s what I’m here for.” Aunt Chessy grabbed my bags while mom briefly gave her a glare but aunt Chessy gave her a look back.  “C’mon kid, let’s get you inside and well fed.” As we walked back inside with Sammy sticking to mom’s side whimpering and licking her hand, that’s when I began to notice the black mustang also parked in our driveway.

I sat down at my balcony bed while aunt Chessy began unpacking my bags.  I had my bowl of chili with the cornbread inside of it in my lap and I said.

“Hey aunt Chessy, how’d you afford a mustang from the rental car place?”

“Oh I wish I could afford one in real life. But that car doesn’t belong to me.”

“So what did mom get it or something?” I asked.  That’s when we heard my mom giggling.  I turned and looked outside and saw her with a man right out by the pool.  The man was sitting on one of the pool chairs and I could see he had pure black hair, wore sunglasses and a dark t-shirt.  “Who is he?”

“Sarah it’s none of my business how my big sister ruins her life she’s a big girl.” Aunt Chessy said as she began taking out all my dirty clothes.  I set my bowl of chili aside and went up to her and said as I wrapped my arms around her right one.

“C’mon aunt Chessy I need to know. Who is he?” aunt Chessy let out a deep sigh and turned to me.

“His name is John Wick. Your mom met him at the gas station when she accidentally forgot to grab her wallet to pay for gas. If you ask me I think he wanted something a bit more than just to be a good Samaritan.”

“What do you mean?” this time we could hear a splash by the pool and mom’s laughter before it turned to shrieks and then back to laughter again.  Aunt Chessy let out a groan as she rolled her eyes.  I went to grab my camera while Aunt Chessy continued on her rant.

“Look you know how I’ve felt about men especially after your father left you guys. So I gotta ask myself what does a man like that who belongs in a Fabio romance novel want with a woman who is trying to work out her life as a single mom? Then I realize there’s a million reasons why that man has stuck around, and all of it is just waiting to be spent from the New York bank.” As she talked I stood there with my camera to see both my mom and John in the pool together at first playing like little kids before being wrapped in each other’s arms.

“What you think he’s loaded or something?” I asked.

“Ehh what do I know? But I’ll tell you one thing, this man’s got your mother eating out of the palm of his hand. They do everything together, they go on drives in that car of his, they swim together, they go out to eat dinner every single night. But you know what, meet him. See for yourself, don’t let me influence you.”

 I saw them making goo-goo eyes at each other before kissing each other as they remained in the pool.  I snapped a quick picture of them and felt an odd feeling in my stomach as I looked down at them.  Could he be the surprise that mom was talking about?

After I had my lunch and aunt Chessy was now doing my laundry, I got on my bathing suit and put on a Shadow the hedgehog t-shirt over it along with some old sandals.  I grabbed my sunglasses and decided to head out to the pool. 

There I saw John once again sitting on the pool chair with my mom just coming out of the pool and grabbing a towel.

“Ohh Sarah, didn’t expect you to come down so soon.”

“Figured I’d stretch my legs out in the pool. At least this time I won’t have algae or wet sand between my toes.” I said wiggling my toes as I kicked my sandals off my feet.

“Well since you’re here I guess there’s no time like the present ehh? Sarah, I’d like you to meet a friend of mine.” She came up behind me and walked us closer to John.  “Sarah, this is John Wick.”

He removed his sunglasses and I finally got a better look at his face.  A sharp facial structure and a scruff beard that had some hidden grey to it.  Deep brown eyes that pierced through my very soul and almost sent a chill of fear up my spine.

“Hello.” His voice had a slight ruggedness to it but it also had warmth and friendliness to it.  Not like how when someone who has a rasp to their voice it makes them creepy.

“Hi, Mr. Wick.” I greeted shyly as I placed my sunglasses on top of my head.

“Well I can’t believe I’m finally meeting the famous Sarah. I’ve been looking forward to this all summer.” John said as he adjusted himself to sit up properly and get a better look at me.

“Really well here I am.” I said with a shrug.

��Helen, you’ve been holding out on me. The way your mom has talked about you I expected to meet a little girl but you are so grown up and just as beautiful as her.”

“I’ll be 12 soon. How old are you?”

“Sarah!” exclaimed my mom as tugged me by my shoulders.

“It’s fine Helen. There should actually be no shame in children asking adults their ages.” John assured my mom.  “To answer your question I’m 43.”

“That’s 32 years older than me! How old are you again mom.” I asked looking up at her.

“Wow if only you were this interested in math when it comes to your homework. Look I’m going to head inside and get some food. Maybe even check to make sure Chessy is doing the laundry correctly. I love my little sister but sometimes she can be a scatter brain when it comes to laundry. Be right back.” With that mom left me alone with her new ‘boyfriend’.

“My aunt said that you guys met at a gas station, is that true?”

“Yes that is true. I don’t know the full story but from what I did see, the cashier was giving your mother a pretty hard time so I thought I’d give her a hand and help pay for her gas. And not three days later at the Walmart nearby she actually helped me with finding the better laundry detergent. From there I guess you could say the rest is history.”

“How come my mom didn’t mention you in the letters she’d send me?” John let out a deep sigh and looked at me with a sympathetic look.

“I imagine this is pretty awkward, right?” I merely shrugged as I crossed my arms over my chest.  “Your mom felt that this type of news would’ve been better to be talked about in person. But I want you to know this Sarah, these past eight weeks I’ve really come to care for your mother. And I wish I can do the same for you, but if not I’ll understand and I’ll walk away.”

Now this is something I’ve never heard of happening in real life.  Normally the partner wouldn’t allow their lover’s child to dictate whether or not they’ll stay together.  But just from seeing mom and him together, that’s the happiest I’ve seen her since……him.

Needless to say (and as you all know) John Wick stuck around with my mother.  They waited to get married until a year into their blossoming relationship.  And it was also after their marriage that mom and I would leave our home of Nappa, California and go to live with John in his house in New York.

It was out in upstate New York so just roughly about a 20-30min drive away from the city.  It was fairly similar in size to our old house back home with wide open spaces, a good sized backyard, and a two door garage. 

Ever since they got married, mom’s always tried to have John and I do some ‘father-daughter’ bonding time.  And even though John did his best to understand my interests whether it came to gaming, music, or movie trivia, there was just something about being alone with him that didn’t sit right with me.  I already got fooled once by my dad once, I wasn’t going to let another one do the same thing to me again.

Age 13

I was sitting in the passenger seat of John’s mustang as we drove into the city to pick up some groceries.  Mom had to suddenly be called into work with an emergency and John said he didn’t want to leave me alone in the house by myself.

After a brief back and forth with each other of how whether or not I was capable of staying at the home by myself, I ended up losing that battle and had to tag along.  As we walked through the aisles picking out everything we needed, my eye soon caught a bunch of people at a table advertising something.

I noticed their posters for the Gotham Archery classes.  And there happened to be one right nearby in Manhattan.  I turned to John to see him looking at some deals on eggs then turned my attention back towards the table.  Archery did always fascinate me but there was never any schools or lessons back at California that were within driving range of us so I could only fantasize about shooting an actual bow and arrow like Legolas or Merida did.

“You want to go talk to them?” I jumped at John’s voice and looked up at him.

“Huh?”

“You’ve been staring at them for the past five minutes without even blinking. So either you’ve got some beef with one of those gentleman or you’d like to go talk to them and think about joining them.”

“Yeah that’s funny. Me doing archery.” I scoffed as I brushed it off with a laugh.

“What’s so funny about that?” he leaned his arms over the shopping cart as he raised his brow at me.  One look at his eyes and I knew he wasn’t kidding around.

“You—you’re being serious?”

“If it’s something you’re interested in, you should go for it.” A strange fluttery feeling came into my chest when he said that.  Dad never really took the time to encourage me to go out for something, it was always mom who tried to push me to achieve what I want.  So hearing this from an adult male, especially someone like John Wick felt strange and new to me.

I took a deep breath and walked over to the table and it was there I began my journey into the world of archery.

After bringing John over to the table so that he could get some of the information too (since I was under 18 I needed to have an adult present for the information given and to ensure that there would be an adult present whenever I was taken to classes).

We had a meeting that night with my mom and she was so proud that I had managed to find something to do here in New York.  And already having John be the chosen supervised parent to go along with me also made her happy to know that we finally managed to find something to bond over.

After several months of lessons, I actually ended up doing a lot better at archery than I could imagine.  So much so that my instructor encouraged me to participate in the upcoming tournament that would be held at their school in Brooklyn.

Mom, aunt Chessy and John all came to support me in the tournament but when I began to see the large crowd that was gathering around to see all of us that was competing, my heart began to race and my stomach began churning.

“Full house, oh sweet Jesus.” I groaned as I held my stomach tightly.  I fiddled with my archer’s glove unhooking and re-hooking the straps as my anxiety was starting to go through the roof.

“And here we have future gold medalist Olympic archer Sarah Wick.” I shook my head trying to hide the smile etching at the corner of my mouth and looked up to see John with his phone pointed right towards me.

“Haha you’re such a comedian.” I mocked sarcastically.

“No joke. Those archers don’t know who they’re about to go against.” I winced slightly as I looked down and fiddled with my glove once again.  “Hey, everything okay?” he asked concerningly.  He pocketed his phone and sat down in front of me.

Could I maybe trick him into taking me home? Mom never fell for the classic ‘fake sickness’ trick whenever I needed to get out of something.  Guess that’s just something mom’s automatically know, but John—he wouldn’t know and I’ll bet he wouldn’t even ask questions about it.

“I’m not feeling so good John. I think I need to go home and lay down. Yeah that’s it let’s go home.” I went to sit up but he held onto my shoulder and pressed his other hand to my forehead.

“You don’t seem to be running a fever.”

“It’s a stomach bug. Suddenly started up out of nowhere.” I let out a pained hiss as I groaned lowly.  When I looked up at him, one look on his face told me that he wasn’t buying this act for a second.  “This isn’t working is it?”

“It was a good try.” He acknowledged giving me a wink.  I dropped the act as I let out a deep sigh.

“How do you guys always seem to know when we’re faking it?”

“I may have only been in the parenting game for a short time, but I know how to spot the classic ‘feigning sick bit’. Even pulled it myself from time to time. Now you wanna share what’s really going on?”

I don’t even know myself why I suddenly felt like coming clean to him.  Whether it was him not talking down to me in order to get the answer, or him even acknowledging that I did my best to fake him out.  Either way I finally came clean to him.

“I didn’t think there was going to be so many people here to see us compete. It’s stressing enough with the judges, but the people in the audience……I’m just—so afraid that I’m gonna make a total fool of myself.” John let out a soft hum as he nodded softly.

“I believe what you’re going through right now is what they call stage fright. Everyone gets it, even me.”

“You? I don’t believe you.”

“Oh yeah. Believe it or not this 45 year old, 6’1 giant of a man has and still sometimes deals with anxiety and stage fright.” We both softly chuckled at his statement.

“How do you get by?”

“One step at a time. I can only control what I can. And yes there will be the unknown that you wish you could say ‘hey I want you to do this’ or ‘you’re gonna do it this way’. But we can’t let the fear dictate over something we love.”

“Wow…..that’s—deep.”

“I try my best.” John merely shrugged, which got another laugh out of me.  “And think of it this way; after today: No one but your mother, aunt, instructor and I will remember what you did here today. So don’t do your best for those nameless people out in the audience, do it for the ones that really know you.”

“Thanks John. That really helped more than you know.” He gently squeezed my shoulder and said.

“Glad I could help. And good luck out there.” He stood up and walked back to join my mom and aunt at their seats.

Whenever mom gave me advise or encouragement while she always looked on the positive aspects of it, just between the lines I knew there were times that she would sugarcoat certain things.  Like there was too much optimism in certain events that I knew wouldn’t be good but she’d always make it seem like everything was going to be okay.

John, however, just hearing him speak about the reality of the situation but not making it sound too cynical.  He somehow managed to find the perfect balance of optimism and realistic philosophy.

And it paid off.  By the end of the tournament I had gotten three bronze medals and a silver medal for all the categories I had decided to compete in.

As the years went by, there would also come a test that would push the Wick family to the extreme.  When I turned 14, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumor.  There would be days when she was able to live with us and live a normal life, but there were dark days when she’d have to live in the hospital for weeks on end.

Age 15

This was one of mom’s bad weeks.  One day when John and her were out on their wedding anniversary date out in the city.  I had gotten a call from John telling me that she had collapsed when they were walking along the docks after their dinner.

However unlike before, this time the tumor had attacked her so aggressively that she now has to be on a ventilator to help her breathe properly.  The doctor’s say that even though there’s brain activity, she’s unfortunately locked in a coma-like state and it’s unknown on when she’ll wake up…..or ever.

It was also throughout this time that John and I began to lean more on each other now more than ever.  Especially when he came back into the picture out of nowhere.

It was just after school when John and I decided to visit mom in the hospital.  I had gotten my German test that he had helped me study for and I wanted to tell mom how I had aced it.  She always wanted to make sure that I never fell back on my class work no matter what events or after-school activities I had.  We arrived at the hospital parking lot and as we got out of John’s mustang, I asked him.

“Before long I’ll have to start driving, think I can practice driving the mustang?”

“Just because you passed your German exam doesn’t make you an expert on my mustang.” He told me.

“Oh come on John. I’ve been paying attention to how you shift the gears and I dare say I’m confident enough to drive it.”

“There’s a difference between confidence and arrogance.”

“That hurts John. That really hurts!” I exclaimed as I held my heart like I had been shot.

“Yeah, yeah report it to Child services. Come on.” we headed into the building and checked in to see my mom.  We walked down the familiar corridor and saw mom in the same position as she has since her check in.  Laying still and motionless on the bed.  I came up and sat beside her and took her hand in mine.

“Hey mom, we’re back. Just like we promised. Hey get this, you know that German test that John’s been helping me with? I aced it. Can you believe it, after months of struggling I finally get an A+ for that class.”

“The real credit goes to your daughter Helen. She’s the one who took the test, all I did was teach her a few tricks to remember what she needed to learn.” Said John as he sat on the other side of my mom’s bed.  Soon my mom’s doctor came in and greeted us.

“Mr. Wick, Ms. Wick.”

“Dr. Sanchez. How has she been?” John asked.

“Well some good news at least. We’ve noticed how she’s been able to now breathe on her own so we took her off the ventilator and for the past ten hours she’s been breathing just fine on her own.” We both sighed in a huge relief.

“Any signs on when she’ll wake up?” I asked.

“That unfortunately is still yet to be determined. But we’ll continue to constantly monitor her progress and we’ll call you with any new updates Mr. Wick.” He said the last part to John since he was the emergency contact for my mom.

“Thank you Dr. Sanchez, truly.” He nodded and soon left the room leaving the three of us alone.  John took his spot back at my mom’s right side while I fiddled with the new bracelet that John had gifted them for their anniversary. “You were right about the bracelet.”

“Told yah. Mom’s never been one for clunky or flashy jewelry. And it really is beautiful.” I stroked along the silver flowers that decorated the bracelet. 

“I���m gonna head down and get some coffee, you want anything from the cafeteria?”

“I’ll be okay till we get home.”

“I’ll get you some water.”

“John!” I whined.

“You don’t drink enough of it, you gotta stay hydrated.” He said standing up and circled around mom’s bed before gently shaking my head around before leaving the room.  I shook my head and said.

“He really is a great guy mom. We’ve actually been getting along more lately since you had to stay here. He’s been taking me to school, archery practice, helping out with my homework. And been the support system I needed even though he’s hurting himself. He may not want to admit out loud, but I sometimes hear him cry at night without you there. So—keep fighting mom. Please, we need you home.”

I lay my head down on her bed as I gripped her hand in both of mine as tightly as I could.

“Helen? Sarah?” I gasped as my eyes shot wide open.  I turned towards the door and there I saw someone I never expected to see ever again.  My dad.

“D-d…..d…..” I stammered.

“My god, Sarah is that really you? God look at you you’re all….”

“What the hell are you doing here?!” I snapped.  “How did you find us?!”

“I-I didn’t. My son’s here for his final chemo treatment.” His son? He went and had another kid after he abandoned me and mom? “So Helen’s got……”

“I don’t need to tell you shit!” I snapped. “Get out of here since that’s what you’re good at!”

“Sarah come on. It wasn’t my fault. I thought you were right behind me, honest!” bullshit.  He knew what he was doing that day, I’ve come to grips with it.  “That day at the mall…..”

“Don’t ever mention that day to me. I was so—so.......” my voice quivered as I tried to contain my emotions that were boiling inside of me after 8 years.

“Oh hey, hey. Don’t-don’t cry baby girl.” He tried to comfort me.  I heard his footsteps getting closer to me and once I saw his feet within my vision I pushed him back aggressively.  “Sarah!” my dad exclaimed in surprise.

“Get out.” I lowly sneered.

“Baby girl I’m trying to make things right with you.”

“Get out, get out, get out.” I kept muttering as my hand fidgeted at the door.

“Sarah I’m your father—” the second he stepped closer to me.  I lashed out with my best right hook and nailed in right across the face screaming at him.

“GET OUT!!!” I tackled him beating him with my fists.  Punching, clawing and slapping him repeatedly in a blind rage repeatedly telling him to get out through my grunts and growls.

I really don’t recall what all happened after that but I soon felt arms wrap around my waist trying to pull me away.  I tried fighting back but my arms were soon pinned to my side as I heard John’s voice suddenly break through my rage.

“Sarah enough! Easy! Easy!” I stopped and my vision became clear once again.  My dad’s face was bleeding profusely as nurses and security had now came to see what the commotion was.

John escorted me out but security tried to stop him.  There were words exchanged between the two of them before John took me out of the hospital.  All the while keeping a secure grip on me but not manhandling me.

Everything felt—numb.  The sounds of the city were muffled and I barely felt myself being moved around.  My hands wouldn’t stop shaking and my heart was pounding so fast I thought it would burst out of my chest.  Never before have I felt such rage to get me into that blind state and attack someone like that.

Next thing I knew, I suddenly felt a stinging sensation on my hand and I went to lash out but a hand stopped me and my vision suddenly became clear.  I found myself back at home with John kneeling in front of me, my wrist gently grasped in his calloused grip.

“Easy, easy. You’re home now Sarah.” Home.  Frantically my eyes looked around to see if it was true and I soon came to realize what had happened.  I was home, my real home.

Like a crack steadily increasing along a newly broken mirror, my shock suddenly began to overflow as tears rapidly fell down my face.  Immediately I wrapped my arms around John’s waist as I buried my face into his chest and wept hysterically.

“I’m sorry John….I’m so sorry John…..I-I didn’t want you to see…..” I spoke through my hysterical sobs.  John instantly wrapped his arms around me, one hand rubbing my back while the other was buried within my hair gently stroking and massaging my scalp.

“It’s okay, let it out. Just let yourself fall apart. I promise to hold you together.” He softly whispered into my ear.  The moment he had said that, I had let out the most gut-wrenching, raw, almost animalistic sob of rage, grief, self-hate, confusion, and sorrow that I had kept bottled in since the day my dad abandoned me.

And true to his word, John kept his tight yet comforting hold on me with each raw sob that came out of my mouth.

After what felt like an eternity and for doctoring up my bruised and bleeding knuckles and palm, I lay there in my room just fingering the bandaged wraps that John had placed over my wounds.  We didn’t speak after my breakdown but somehow he knew that I needed to have some alone time.

Slowly I got out of bed and headed towards mom and John’s room.  The door was shut so I went up and knocked so softly I thought he wouldn’t hear me.

“Come in.” I heard him say.  I opened the door and saw John laying across the bed.  “Hey Sarah. You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. Can…..we talk?” John nodded and allowed me to sit on mom’s side of the bed.  I pulled my legs up to my chest as I took mom’s pillow and held it over my knees.  The faint scent of her perfume still lingered onto the pillow.  “Did she ever tell you about him?”

“Your aunt made it clear that your father was a…..sensitive subject.” Of course she did.

“I was seven years old. We were out at the mall having our monthly daddy-daughter date. He took me out to red lobster to eat, and then took me to all my favorite stores. Next thing I know as I’m looking at some video games, he’s just gone. I called out for him in the crowded mall but I couldn’t find him anywhere. It was pure luck that a mall cop found me after 20 minutes. I was so frightened and confused…….” I sniffled and wiped away the tears that were burning in my eyes.  “Why did he just leave me like that? Was it something I did or said or—And to come back after supposedly living his new life…..”

“Hey, hey.” His large hand encompassed both of mine as I was clenching mom’s pillow so tightly my knuckles were turning white.  His touch alone made me relax even though I didn’t want to.  “He had no right to suddenly come up to you after all these years. And you are not to blame for him abandoning you.”

“Then why did he do it?” I asked brokenly.

“I wish I had an answer for you. But know that no excuse he can come up with will ever justify what he did.” he wrapped his arm around me, allowing my head to rest just over his heart once again.  I shut my eyes allowing a few tears to fall drip down my face.

“You’ve been nothing but supportive and loving to me these past few years. And I never thought I’d find myself saying this but I like you John. I really, really do like you. But I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready to call you…... you know. It still hurts to even say the word out loud.”

“I understand. I never expected you to come forth and call me ‘that word’ as soon as your mom and I got married. I just wanted you to know that you’ve got another person in your corner whenever you feel like you can’t talk to your mom or aunt about something.”

“Thank you John, for everything.” We looked at each other lovingly and he brought me into a tight hug.

“And can I just say, that was an impressive right hook you gave him.” I laughed as I buried my face chest and gripped onto him tighter while I felt him place a loving kiss to the crown of my head.

One last thing I’ve noticed about John were his hugs.  There truly was a difference between the way my mom hugs and the way he hugs.  Mom’s hugs were always a gentle comfort like being wrapped in a fleece blanket.

John’s hugs—well his were like a protective barrier.  Like nothing in the world could get to me and he was going to ensure it with each tight, comforting squeeze he gave.  And while it felt like my bones could pop and break any second, it felt comforting to know that such strength could be so gentle when needed to be.