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unfortunate-stranger-losers · 5 years ago

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All Those Things They Couldn’t Say - A Runaway Baudelaires AU

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Chapter Forty-Five - Splitting Up is Never a Good Idea

The employees headed out very quickly. Colette got the gas, and the children ran them to the car helping them carry their bags. On the walk, they did their best to assure them that yes they deserved happiness and no they did not deserve to get eaten by lions. Once Kevin got in the driver’s seat, Violet gave them all a hug, and then passed them as much money as she’d gotten together.

“Good luck out there.” she said.

Duncan passed them the box of food. “Puttanesca is in there for the trip, so you don’t have to stop and get the extra food from the back that fast. And this box is the hot chocolate, we steadied it as best we could.”

Isadora handed the box to Colette, and then said, “Go find your own adventure, yeah?”

Colette beamed over at them, blinking away tears. “Thank you so much. We don’t know how to repay you.”

“You can repay us by getting out and living your best life.” Klaus said.

“Luck!” Sunny wished, blowing a kiss.

Once the car drove away, they raced back to the carnival, and Violet edged to Lulu’s tent, sneaking past the sparse guests still wandering and excitedly talking about tomorrow’s show.

When they reached the tent, she turned and said, “We’ll be in here for only a little bit, to see if there’s somewhere she could have hidden our parents. Just stand here, and if someone comes near, come inside and tell us, we’ll break out the back.”

They nodded, and Klaus shouldered Sunny, gave them a wave, and then the Baudelaires raced inside.

“Okay,” Violet said quickly, as she observed the tent, “Look for hiding places.”

Klaus put Sunny on the floor, and then ran to the nearest chest. “Locked.”

“I got it, you check under the table for a trapdoor.”

Klaus nodded, and as Violet started picking the lock on the chest, he lifted a tablecloth, careful not to jostle the crystal ball on top. “Hey, Vi, there’s a little library down here. Lots of paper and shit.”

“Yeah, see? It’s just like San Fernando.” Violet nodded. She opened the chest, and shook her head. “Just costumes. I’ll dig through, though, in case there’s a switch or false bottom, but I doubt it.”

Sunny ran to Klaus. “Mesa.” “I got the table, you check the curtains.”

He nodded and let her crawl under before running to the curtains and pushing them aside. “A bunch of levers and gears.”

“Cool! Dibs!” Violet called. “You get the trunk.”

“Are we just playing hot potato with everything in this tent?”

“Yeah, pretty much.”

Klaus sighed and went back to the truck, and Violet pulled her ribbon and scanned the levers. “It looks like it’s just the lighting system we used in Red Acres, unfortunately. There’s the mirrors, the fan belt… except she doesn’t have a flashlight, just a hole in the tent. Probably why she seems to only tell fortunes in the morning, that’s where the sun’ll shine through.”

Sunny crawled out from under the table, shaking paper off of herself. “Idde.” “No trapdoors or levers.”

“There’s gotta be something.” Violet murmured, stepping back and kneeling by the bottom of the pulley system. “You’d think Olaf would trust her enough to hide someone here.”

Klaus hesitated, before glancing up from the trunk, where he was digging through clothes, and said, “Violet?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think… do you think that he’ll feed our parents to the lions?”

Violet shut her eyes, and Sunny crawled over to him and hugged his leg, whimpering a little.

“Do- do you remember they told us that they used to train lions? Maybe- maybe he thinks it’ll be- be funny, to feed them to-”

“He’s been pretty insistent on killing us first.” Violet shivered. “If anything, he’ll probably want to feed us to them first, if he can find us.”

“Hold on.” Klaus felt something light at the bottom of the trunk, and pulled it out, spreading it on the floor. Violet came over, and said, “That looks like a map.”

“I’d say it’s of the Hinterlands.” Klaus said. “See, there’s the carnival here, and that’s Mount Fraught-”

“Spill.” Sunny said, pointing at a brown splotch.

“You see, Sunny,” Violet said, smiling a little as she focused, “That may look like a splotch, but considering the size, shape, and color-”

“That’s a note of VFD headquarters.” Klaus said.

“Pretty nearby, interesting.” Violet hmmed. “Makes sense that Lulu’s in VFD, she has the costumes and fortune-telling training and the Eye, and I bet she got most of those papers from the cult itself.”

“Do you think Olaf knows?”

“She’s got the eye on her tent, but he’s also an idiot, so…”

“That’s- wait, shut up.”

Violet quieted, and she heard what he had.

Footsteps, getting closer.

“The Quagmires-” he began, moving for the flap, but she grabbed his arm.

“They’re probably not there if they’re not alerting us.” she hissed. “Come on, let’s move.”

“But then- where-”

“We have to get out of here first, get Sunny.”

Klaus raced for his sister and lifted her up, and Violet grabbed his arm again and dragged him to the curtain that hid the mechanics. She shut it behind them, and they stood still a second as the tent flap opened. They heard a sigh and footsteps enter the tent; Violet signed quickly that she thought it was probably Lulu, it didn’t sound like anyone else. Klaus nodded, though he kept his eyes boring into the curtain in front of them, as if he could set it on fire and burn Madame Lulu from there, and they slowly backed up, moving their way around the wall and looking for a flap to slip under.

They heard the woman stop outside, muttering something, and Klaus shut his eyes. They’d left the map on the floor, the chest open. Fuck.

“Who is there, please?”

She sounded furious. Violet edged towards the wall, but sighed when she found it wasn’t enough to slip under. Klaus clutched onto Sunny, his glare intensifying even more.

“Who dares disturb Madame Lulu’s tent? The spirits are angry, please-”

Violet and Klaus shared a look, and then she nodded, and tossed her smokebomb just outside. Lulu shouted as it erupted, and the children burst through the smoke, rushing past her and racing outside. Once they got out, they ran for the nearest caravan, which thank God happened to be empty, ducking inside just as Lulu came out, shouting and cursing.

They sank to the floor of the caravan, and turned to each other.

Klaus looked a bit distracted, staring at the door and reaching to fiddle with his jacket. “Should we have captured and interrogated her?”

“Olaf would notice she was gone.”

“We…” Klaus shut his eyes. “Really could’ve gotten information out of her.”

“We can try that later, maybe, but for now…”

Klaus hugged onto Sunny, and then he asked, “And where are the Quagmires?”

Isadora bounced on her feet for the first minute or so, trying to pay attention to the bleak area around them. Her attention was then distracted when Duncan started stepping away.

“Where are you going?” she hissed.

“I thought I saw someone over there.” he gestured to the side of Lulu’s caravan.

“And nobody’s coming, so we’re in the clear.”

“I just…” he crept away. “I’ll check it out.”

“Duncan!”

He shrugged at her, and then strode to the side of the caravan, peering over the side.

When an arm grabbed his and yanked him behind the caravan, then, Isadora didn’t even think, instead immediately taking off, running as fast as she could and grabbing her knife from her pocket. She slid to the side of the caravan, raising her weapon, and immediately said, “Hands off my brother!”

She recoiled, raising the knife higher, as she locked eyes with Esme Squalor, who had a hand over a terrified Duncan’s mouth to muffle his shouts.

“Now, now, no need for that.” Esme said. Then, to Isadora’s surprise, she lifted her hands, and Duncan stumbled out of her reach, running to Isadora’s side and grabbing her arm. “We don’t need to fight here.”

“Pretty sure we do.” Isadora said.

Esme sighed and moved around, circling the children. Isadora pushed Duncan behind her, backing up until they were basically against the outer caravan wall. “Of course we don’t. We don’t really have much of a problem with you two.”

“You hurt our friends.” Duncan said, shoving a hand into his own pocket to look for a weapon. “You hurt their parents. We’re not going to let that slide, bitch.”

Esme scoffed, putting a hand on her hip. “Really? Your friends? What have they ever done for you?”

“It doesn’t matter. Back the fuck up or we’ll throw a knife into your head.” Isadora said.

“Oh, please.” Esme threw up her hands, rolling her eyes. “I’m unarmed. I just want to talk.” They eyed her suspiciously. “You can pat me down if it makes you feel better.”

Isadora hesitantly lowered the knife, though she still kept it in hand. “What do you even want, then?”

“I want to make a deal.” Esme said. She stepped closer, and Isadora again pushed Duncan behind her. “I think we have a common interest.”

“The hell we do.” Duncan spat.

“Of course we do.” Esme lowered herself slightly, so she was at eye-level with the teenagers. “I suspected you all might be here, you know, but it’s nice to see I was right, like always. I’m sure you’ve heard of our little show tomorrow?”

“Where you’re going to toss innocent, exploited people to starving lions?” Duncan hissed.

“Yes, it’ll be grand.” Esme smiled wickedly. “But here’s the thing; the freaks need not die. There are other people I’d much rather toss to these lions.”

“Like Lulu?” Isadora guessed. “Or the Baudelaires?”

Esme scowled. “I will be dealing with Lulu myself. Was going to conscript the freaks to do it, but they seem to be playing hooky. But I think we can make a deal. I can ensure that Beatrice and her boytoy are watching the pit, watching their charming lions driven to eating people they like, and you-”

“If you think we’re going to strike any kind of deal with you,” Isadora hissed, “You’re dead wrong, we’d much rather kill you right here and take off than let you manipulate our lives.”

Esme smirked, then, very darkly. “Oh, you haven’t even heard my deal yet.”

“You have five seconds,” Isadora said, raising the knife again, “To convince us not to kill you right here.”

“Alright, then. I’ll make this simple.” Esme said. “If you do what I say, and help me feed these horrible, troublesome children to the lion pit, then I will give you back your brother.”

The knife dropped to the ground.

Isadora and Duncan were frozen an instant, breathing slow and staring hard at the smirking woman. Duncan shook, clinging to Isadora’s arm tighter and widening his eyes. Isadora, meanwhile, shook her head.

“No.” she said. “N-no. You’re lying. You’re bluffing. Our brother died in the fire and you know that. You don’t-”

“Well, then,” Esme said, and then she reached into a pocket and tossed something to the ground. “Guess he won’t need this.”

Duncan and Isadora stared down at the dirt, where an unmistakable, purple commonplace book skidded in their direction.

Isadora started to shake, and Duncan dropped to the ground, kneeling in front of the book and staring at it, as if he didn’t dare pick it up.

“Wh-” Isadora breathed.

“Silly boy was being loud, so we took this as a warning.” Esme shrugged, looking down at her nails instead of the distraught triplets before her. “Then he kept misbehaving, so we had to-”

“Where is he?” Isadora’s voice broke, and she looked at Esme with such a fire in her eyes that if she’d been looking at anyone else in that moment, they likely would’ve retreated instantly. “What did you do to him?”

“Oh, quite a bit, though I admit Olaf does most of the work.” Esme said. “Don’t worry, though, he knows all about your little stunt in the hospital. Well, no, he doesn’t, but I’m sure he knows we had a reason for his latest punishment.”

“You… you…” Isadora gasped. Her hand reached for her knife, before remembering it was on the ground, beside Duncan.

“But here’s the thing. We only have him for your little fortune. And I’m already fabulously wealthy.” Esme said. “I’m sure we could stand to see him go, but, well, we’ll need something in return, won’t we?”

Isadora stared at her, shaking with fury and terror, and felt like her world was closing in around her.

“Of course, if nothing unusual happens tomorrow, I’m sure Olaf would love to know you’re all here. But if something exciting goes down, he’ll be most thankful that our little problem is solved, so thankful that I bet he wouldn’t notice one little boy going missing.” She smirked, then stepped forwards. Isadora stood her ground, and then gasped, tears springing to her eyes, as Esme stepped on the commonplace book, grinding it harder into the dirt with her heel. Duncan, eyes still glued on the notebook, didn’t move.

“And if you try anything before then,” Esme’s voice grew dark. “Not only will we deal with all of you, but we’ll be fair. Everything you do to us gets done to your brother. And maybe a little extra just for how mouthy he can be.”

“You…” Isadora tried to speak again.

Esme reached over and patted her on the head; Isadora couldn’t even recoil, shock still coursing through her. “Oh, don’t worry, little one. You won’t even be doing anything bad. Just getting rid of some children who shouldn’t even be here. They’ve done horrible things, too, you know. They’ve killed and destroyed.”

“They-”

“They uprooted your lives, darling. If it weren’t for them, you’d be safe.” Esme smirked. “Besides, they aren’t even telling you the whole truth.”

“Yes, they are.” Isadora whimpered.

“Of course they aren’t. Didn’t Violet tell you she got to see your little brother at that charming hospital, or does she just not want you distracted?”

Isadora froze over, her breath catching in her throat.

“I’m sure you’ll be in the crowd tomorrow. After the lions eat, you can meet me behind Lulu’s tent, and I’ll hand over your prize before me and my Olaf leave to set fire to some annoying volunteer headquarters. See you then.”

She stalked away, and Isadora stood still, staring after her.

“She… she has to be lying somehow. There’s- she can’t- we-” Isadora stuttered.

Then she looked down, to Duncan, still kneeling in front of the commonplace book. Slowly, she knelt beside him. “She… Duncan, she- she can’t-”

Duncan reached forwards and picked up the book. He brushed dirt off the cover, and then hugged it to his chest and began to weep.

#asoue #asoue netflix #a series of unfortunate events #runaway baudelaires au #asoue fanfiction #all those things they couldn't say #the carnivorous carnival #mine #my fanfic

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vfdbaudelairefile13 · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Twelve:

The One When Olaf Kidnaps Some Orphans

“I’m impressed you know how to pick a lock,” Isadora commented when the children returned to the Orphan Shack from the library.

“You’d be surprised how often it comes in handy,” Violet comments.

“Violet’s right,” Klaus agreed. “Sunny’s used her teeth a few times to lock pick things like Olaf’s suitcase,”

“That is so cool!” Violet said as Sunny nodded her head.

Now with all of my research in the Snicket and Baudelaire cases, I have investigated many instances where someone had been in disguise. If you’ve ever dressed up for Halloween or attended a masquerade ball, you’d know that there is a certain...thrill...to wear a disguise. A thrill that’s half excitement and half danger. I once researched all about a famed masked ball hosted by the Duchess of Winnipeg, in a remotely located headquarters of a secret organization. And if my research stands true, it was probably one of the most exciting and dangerous nights of Lemony Snicket’s life. As my associate and I were told, he was disguised as a bullfighter and he had slipped into the party while being pursued by the palace guards, who were disguised as scorpions. He had found his way to the bar where he and his older brother, who was also disguised as a cow. Several guests of the ball had said that once they had entered the Grand Ballroom, they felt as if their true selves had disappeared, so I can guess that that is how Lemony had felt once he entered the ballroom. He was wearing clothes he had never worn before, a scarlet cape made of silk and a vest embroidered with gold thread and a skinny black mask, and I can bet it made him feel like a different person. I was told that then he dared approached a woman he had been forbidden to approach for the rest of his life. The witnesses remember that the woman was alone on the veranda, which I was told is a fancy term for a porch made of polished gray marble and costumed as a dragonfly, with a glittering green mask and enormous silvery wings. As his pursuers scurried around that party, trying to guess which guest was me, he slipped out to the veranda and gave her the message he’d been trying to give her for several long and lonely years. “Beatrice!” he called out as loud as he could, just as the scorpions had pushed passed his brother and found him. “Count Olaf is…!”

I’m sorry...but the horrid details that follow are too much for me to share at this point in Violet Snicket’s story. I cannot go on. It makes me weep to think of that evening, and of the dark and desperate times that had followed, and in the meantime, I’m sure you are curious what happened to the three siblings and the two friends during this time. So I will go back to reporting on that rather than the sad events of Lemony Snicket’s life.

“This is sort of exciting,” Duncan said, “I know that we’re doing this for serious reasons, but I”m excited anyway,”

Violet was busy tying strings together as her brother shoveled flour into the dishwashing gloves. Sunny was busy at work with the material they stole from the school’s kitchen as Isadora was taping a piece of unused mop head to her forehead to act as Violet’s bangs. Duncan was busy toying with a pair of skates that the children had found outside the locker rooms.

Isadora, once her newly found bangs were on her head, looked up. “It may not be particularly wise, but it’s a thrill to be disguised,” she recited smiling. Violet looked up and smiled back at her. “It’s not a perfect poem,” Isadora admitted. “But it will have to do under the circumstances.”

“This knot is called the Devil’s Tongue,” Violet explained. “It was invented by female Finnish pirates in the 15th century.”

“How do I look?” Isadora asked as Violet finally looked up and began blushing at Isadora who smiled back at her.

“Beautiful,” Violet said smiling. “Not...not that you weren’t before...cause you definitely were,”

“Thank you, Vi,” Isadora said blushing. “You’re...beautiful, too,”

The two girls stared at one another for a moment. Everything felt as though it had disappeared. The shack, their brothers, Violet’s sister, and their troubles. The only thing they could see was each other. The thing that brought the kids back to reality was Sunny biting the egg tongs to make them into glasses for Duncan’s disguise.

Once she was done, she handed them to Duncan. “Here,” she said.

Duncan took the fake glasses from the toddler and put them on his face. He turned to face Klaus. “So...how do I look?”

Klaus looked up at Duncan and couldn’t help but blush at the boy triplet. “D-different,” he said. Duncan smiled back at Klaus. “Not...not that you didn’t look good before. I mean...you do...you did...do look...Sunny, good job on the glasses,” He said trying to change the topic. Duncan gave a small chuckle as Klaus continued to blush.

The three siblings took a step back and regarded the Quagmires carefully. All three felt their hearts in their chests as they worked quickly to get their risky plan put into action. Violet pulled out the fork, a few teaspoons of creamed spinach, and a small potato that she took from the kitchen to work on her invention that will help Sunny create staples. Now they had a few minutes before the Violet and the Baudelaires, or in this case, the Quagmires in disguise and Violet’s invention had to show up for S.O.R.E. Duncan and Isadora handed over their notebooks so the three orphans could study for their comprehensive exams, and switched shoes with The Quagmires’ laps would sound exactly like their friends. Now, with only minutes to spare, the three siblings were nervously looked over the Quagmires’ disguises and realized instantly just how risky their plan was.

Isadora and Duncan Quagmire simply did not look like Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire. Duncan’s eyes were a different color than Klaus’ and Isadora’s hair was shorter than Violet’s, even before tying it up in a ribbon. Being triplets, the Quagmires were closer in height to each other than Klaus and Violet were, being only half-siblings. As Sunny noted to Klaus a few weeks prior, Klaus was going through a growth spurt so right now he was only a few inches taller than his older half-sister. Violet did not have the time or material to make stilts for Duncan to mimic this height difference, so she hoped Count Olaf wouldn’t notice. But it wasn’t entirely really these small physical details that made the disguise so unconvincing. It was a simple fact that Violet, the Baudelaires and the Quagmires were different people. And a hair ribbon, unused piece of mop, a pair of glasses, and some shoes couldn’t turn them into one another any more than a woman disguised as a dragonfly can actually take wing and escape the disaster that awaited her.

“I know we don’t look much like you,” Duncan admitted after the three had been quiet for some time. “But remember, it’s quite dark at the athletic field. The only light is coming from the moon and the luminous circle. We’ll make sure to keep our heads down when we’re running, so our faces won’t give us away.”

“We won’t speak a word to Coach Genghis, so our voices won’t give us away. And we’ll have your hair ribbon, these fake glasses, and shoes, so our accessories won’t give us away,” Isadora explained.

“We don’t have to go through with this plan,” Violet admitted quietly. Somewhat now siding with Klaus. She was severely worried. She was beginning to have her doubts. These are my siblings….My getting involved makes sense...but the Quagmires… She thought to herself.

“Violet’s right,” Klaus said frantically. “You guys can still back out now.”

“Plan B,” Sunny added, which meant, “We can find another way to pass the test and job reappraisal,”

Klaus translated for Sunny.

“My sister and I won’t sit here and let him hurt you...not if there’s a way we can stop him,” Duncan explained.

“Look, I severely appreciate your help with protecting my siblings,” Violet started. “But as the eldest one here, it is my job to protect all of you. We don’t have to try and fool Genghis. My siblings and I can...just run away right now, tonight. I have my father’s wallet...so we have funds. We’ve gotten to be pretty good runners, we’d have a good head start on Genghis.”

“You can come with us,” Klaus added. “We could then call Mr. Poe from a payphone somewhere,”

“Soli,” Sunny added, which meant, “Or attend a different school, under different names,”

“Those plans don’t have a chance of working,” Isadora argued, “From what you’ve told us about Mr. Poe, he’s never very helpful,”

“...you’re right,” Klaus admitted.

“And Count Olaf seems to find you wherever you go, so a different school wouldn’t help, either,” Isadora countered.

“ This is our only chance,” Duncan explained. “If you pass the exams without arousing Genghis’ suspicion, you will be out of danger, and then we can focus our efforts into exposing him for who he is,”

“I suppose you’re right,” Violet admitted. “I just don’t like the idea of your putting your lives in such danger, just to help us,”

“What are friends for?” Duncan and Isadora replied simultaneously.

“We’re not going to sit here and attend some atrocious recital while you run laps to your doom,” Isadora said. “Look, you three were the first people at Prufrock Prep who weren’t mean to us just for being orphans. None of us have any family, so we’ve got to stick together.”

“That’s exactly why I want to protect you guys as well,” Violet explained. “Maybe Klaus was right about you guys getting involved,”

“At least let us go with you to the athletic field,” Klaus pleaded, not liking this plan at all. “We’ll spy on you from the bleachers, and make sure you’re fooling Coach Genghis,”

Duncan shook his head sternly, offering Klaus a smile. “You don’t have time to spy on us,” he said. “You have to make staples out of those metal rods and study for two comprehensive exams,”

Violet slowly nodded her head as she finished tying the string to the Sunny mannequin. She handed the string to Isadora. “Here, use this to pull Sunny along. The string isn’t wide enough to be visible even in the moonlight,” Violet explained.

“Oh, that’s a good idea,” Duncan said. “I thought we were just going to kick it around the circle,”

Klaus looked at Duncan in surprise. “No, no, no,” he said shocked. “If Coach Genghis thinks you’re kicking your baby sister, he will definitely know something is up.”

Even Sunny looked at Duncan, with a soft glare. He looked down at her and chuckled. “I meant gently .” Sunny continued to give him a soft glare as she pointed her index and middle fingers at her eyes and then pointed them at Duncan. Duncan gave her a small smile as Sunny’s soft glare turned into a small, hopeful smile. She, like her siblings, was very worried about their risky plan.

“Well...we’d better go, Isa,” Duncan said sighing. “Genghis will be waiting. Good luck with studying,”

“Good luck with running laps,” Violet replied.

The children looked one more time at their friends. Klaus and Sunny were reminded of the last time they saw their parents, waving good-bye to them as they left for the beach. Violet was reminded of the last time she saw her father, hugging him tightly confused and begging him to not make her leave him. The three had not known, of course, that this would have been the last moment they would spend with their parents and again and again, each of the orphans had gone back to those days in their lives, wishing that they had said something more than a casual good-bye. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny looked nervously at the two triplets and hoped that this was not such a time, a time when people they cared for would disappear from their lives forever. But what if it were?

“I have this feeling we’re never going to see you again,” Violet admitted as she stared Isadora in the eyes.

“You could go back to your broom closet,” Klaus pleaded, staring at Duncan. “And forgot about this,”

“Forget us,” Sunny pleaded looking at her two friends, stepping forward and hugging one of their legs each.

“Is that what your parents would have done?” Duncan asked Klaus and Sunny.

“Is that what your father would have done?” Isadora asked Violet.

“Our parents are not here, none of them,” Violet explained.

“I bet they taught you the same thing our parents taught us,” Isadora said.

“What?” Sunny asked.

Duncan and Isadora looked first to Violet and then to Klaus and then looked down at little Sunny offering all three of their friends a hopeful, optimistic smile. “What friends are for,” Duncan answered.

“If we never see…” Violet stopped, swallowed, and began again. “If something goes wrong…”

Isadora took Violet’s hands in hers and looked right at her. Duncan did the same to Klaus, both Violet and Klaus could see the serious look in the Quagmires’ wide eyes. “Nothing will go wrong,” Isadora replied firmly. Even though I hate to be the one to inform you that she was wrong at the very moment.

“Nothing will go wrong,” Duncan repeated. “We will see you in the morning,”

Isadora nodded solemnly and the Quagmires turned to leave.

“Duncan, wait!” Klaus called out. Klaus ran to Duncan, as Duncan shifted the fake glasses that Violet and Sunny had invented together, on the rim of his nose. “Duncan...one more thing,” Klaus said as Duncan looked into his eyes.

“Yeah…?”

Klaus opened his mouth to say something but then closed it. Duncan looked at him concerned. “You okay?” the triplet asked his boyfriend.

Klaus nodded although he was anxious about the Quagmires’ insane plan. “If...he speaks...to you directly ...or if he tells you to... behave ...you have to start trembling or he’ll realize...you’re not me…”

Violet face palmed knowing damn well that is not what her brother wanted to say to Duncan. Duncan looked worried at Klaus. “Will you tell me what he did to you?” he asked.

Klaus sighed but gave a small smile. “I promise...I’ll tell you after my test,” he replied.

Duncan nodded as he frowned. “Is that all you wanted to say?”

Klaus bit his lip but nodded his head. Sunny walked over to her brother and hit him in the leg. “Say it…” She instructed.

Klaus looked down at Sunny and then back at Duncan. “If...if something goes wrong...I just...I just wanted to say…” Klaus began.

“Nothing is gonna go wrong, Klaus. I promise,” Duncan interrupted putting a comforting on Klaus’ shoulder.

“Don’t make a promise you may not be able to keep,” he warned.

Duncan puts a loving hand on Klaus’ cheek. “I can and will keep this promise,” Duncan looked as though he wanted to kiss Klaus’ cheek, but he noticed the three girls staring at him so he decided against it. But he did keep his warm hand on Klaus’ cheek for a few more moments.

Klaus nodded. “You’re right...everything is going to be fine,” he repeated half-heartedly.

“Hakuna Matata,” Sunny agreed, although she and her siblings were very anxious about their risky plan. But right now, Sunny and Violet were annoyed that Klaus didn’t tell Duncan what he truly wanted to say. Duncan continued to smile at Klaus as he lifted his other hand to Klaus’ face and the shorter boy gently pulled off Klaus’ glasses and used his uniform shirt to wipe them clean.

“You’re going to need these,” he said smiling.

“Th-thank you,” Klaus replied.

Isadora giggled as Violet smiled at Isadora. “Our brothers are stupid, aren’t they?” Isadora said laughing. Violet smiled and nodded her head. She reached into her pocket and took out a black hair ribbon that she had taken out of her backpack earlier that day. She handed it to Isadora, who felt the black silk between her fingers.

“Here, you’ll need this for your disguise,” Violet said looking worriedly at her.

“Thanks. I’ll make sure I give it back when this is all over and done,” Isadora reassured.

“Ummmm, no...you can...you can keep it,” Violet replied smiling. “I have plenty. I picked that out specifically for you.”

Isadora blushed rather quickly. “For me…?”

Violet smiled back at the poet. Both girls looked at one another. Isadora began to tie her hair to look more like Violet. “Here...let me help,” Violet said to her as she began to tie Isadora’s hair up. Isadora loved how gentle Violet was as she tied up the younger girl’s hair. “You look wonderful,”

Isadora blushed when Violet continued to stare at her for a moment. Her eyes widened with a quick thought. She pulled her purple backpack from her back and quickly reached into one of the front pockets. She pulled out her father’s spyglass, she pulled it apart, holding two equal pieces in her hand. Isadora pulled out her front half of a spyglass as Klaus reached into his pocket to pull out his back half of a spyglass. Violet handed the front half of her father’s to Klaus, who connected the pieces and handed Isadora the backside of her father’s spyglass.

“Take it...keep it,” Violet assured when Isadora and Duncan looked at her confused.

“But your father’s spyglass,” Isadora said staring at the full spyglass in her hands.

“You guys have your parents half… Klaus and Sunny have their parents half and because I split mine in half...I have my father’s half,” Violet explained. “I know it’s silly and complicated but it seems right,”

“Violet’s right, besides if anything goes wrong…you guys may need a full spyglass,”

Isadora took a deep breath and smiled at her friends. Duncan held open the door to the Orphan Shack. “I don’t think anything will go wrong, We’ll see you three besties before long,” Isadora recited. She stepped closer to Violet and turned her head to kiss Violet on her lips. Violet sighed in shock and then relief. She kissed the poet back. Klaus put his hand over Sunny’s eyes as Sunny smiled as she said her famous line.

“Get a room,” Sunny joked.

The two girls kissed again. Afterward, they both looked awkwardly at each other, blushing knowing that their siblings were snickering. Isadora turned to walk away as she grabbed Duncan’s arm and pulled him and the Sunny mannequin along.

“What was that?” Klaus asked chuckling softly.

Violet who stared in Isadora’s direction, smiled and blushed. “A couplet…”

The three orphans watched them walk toward the athletics field until the triplets were merely two specks, dragging another speck along with them.

“You know, from a distance, in the dim light, they look quite a bit like us,” Violet muttered.

“Abax,” Sunny agreed.

“I hope so,” Klaus murmured. “I hope so,”

“Either way,” Violet said closing the door of the Orphan Shack and turning to her siblings. “We’d better stop thinking about them and get started on our half of this plan. Let’s put our noisy shoes on and get to work,”

“I’m actually excited,” Klaus mentioned. “I can’t imagine how you’re going to make staples, with only a fork, a few teaspoons of creamed spinach, and a small potato. That sounds more like the ingredients for a side dish than a staple-making device,”

“Aloo palak,” Sunny agreed, which meant, “Honestly...if we had some curry and coconut milk it would actually be quite delicious,”

Klaus translated for his sister as both older siblings smiled.

“Not to be rude,” Klaus said. “I hope your inventing skills that you’ve mentioned haven’t been dulled by a lack of sleep,”

Violet rolled her eyes kindly. “I don’t think they have,” Violet informed. “It’s amazing how much energy you can have once you have a plan and some motivation, of course. Besides, my invention also involves one of the crabs in here.” She looked at Klaus and Sunny. “Now, when we all have our shoes on, please follow my instructions,”

The two Baudelaires were quite puzzled at this, but they had this feeling in their bones that when it came to inventing, Violet could be trusted absolutely. From what she’s told him, she had been inventing since she was a little girl and her father considered her to be a mechanical genius and they didn’t know much about her father. Just that Olaf apparently hates him and that he raised one hell of a daughter. So there was no doubt in either of their minds that now, come hell or high water, Violet was going to invent a staple-making device.

The three siblings put on their shoes and, following their elder sister’s orders. As usual, the tiny crabs were lounging around, in the corner, hiding from the children's noisy shoes. Normally, Sunny would be wildly stomping on the floor to direct all of the crabs where she wanted them to go. But this time, however, Violet instructed her siblings to step on the floor in carefully arranged patterns, to herd the grumpiest and biggest-clawed crab into a corner all by itself. Sunny, eventually, successfully did just that.

“Good work, Sunshine!” Violet cried happily. “Keep him in the corner, Sunny, while I ready the potato.”

“What is the potato for?” Klaus asked.

“Fortune?” Sunny asked, which meant, “yeah, how is a potato going to help us from stopping Olaf steal our futures?”

“As we know,” Violet said as Sunny tapped her little feet this way and that to keep the crab in the corner. “These crabs love to get their claws on our toes. I specifically snitched a potato that was toe-shaped. You see how it’s curved in a sort of oval way, and the little bumpy part looks like a toenail?”

“You’re right. The resemblance is remarkable. But what does it have to do with staples?” Klaus asked.

“Well, the metal rods that Nero gave us are very long and need to be cut cleanly into small, staple-sized pieces. So while Sunny keeps the crab in the corner. I’m going to wave the potato at him. He...or she, come to think of it, I don’t know how to tell a boy crab from a girl crab…”

“It’s a boy,” Klaus said. “Trust me,”

Violet and Sunny looked at one another and then to the bookworm, both very confused about how and why he knew that.

“Well...he’ll think it’s a toe,” Violet continued. “And snap at it with his claws. At that instant, I’ll yank the potato away and put a rod in its place. If I do it carefully enough, the crab should do a perfect job of slicing it up.”

“And then what?” Klaus asked.

“First things first,” Violet replied firmly. “Okay, Sunny, keep tapping those noisy shoes. I’m ready with the potato and rod number one,”

“What can I do?” Klaus asked feeling useless.

“You can start studying for the comprehensive exam, of course. You mentioned a near-photographic memory, right?” Violet said. “I couldn’t possibly read all of Isadora’s notes in just one night. While Sunny and I make the staples, you need to read Duncan and Isadora’s notebooks, memorize the measurements from Mrs. Bass’ class and teach me all of Mr. Remora’s stories.

“Roger that,” Klaus said.

And over the next two hours, that’s exactly what the three children did. While Sunny used her noisy shoes to keep the crab in the corner and Violet used the potato as a toe and the crab's claws as clean cutters, Klaus used the Quagmires notebooks to study for the comprehensive exams, and everything worked the way it should. Sunny tapped her shoes noisily that the crab remained trapped. Violet was so quick with the potato and metal rods that soon they were snipped into staple-sized pieces. And Klaus read Duncan’s measuring notes so carefully that before long he was sure he had memorized the length, width, and depth of just about everything.

“Violet, ask me the measurements of the navy blue scarf,” Klaus said, turning the green notebook over so he couldn’t peak.

Violet yanked the potato away just in time and the crab snipped off another bit of the metal rod. “What are the measurements of the navy blue scarf?”

“Two decimeters long,” Klaus recited. “Nine centimeters wide and four millimeters thick. It’s boring, but it’s correct. Sunny, ask me the measurements of the deodorant soap,”

The crab saw an opportunity to leave the corner, but Sunny was too quick for it. “Soap?” she asked her older brother, tapping her tiny noisy shoes until the crab retreated.

“Eight centimeters by eight centimeters by eight centimeters,” Klaus said promptly. “That one’s easy. You’re doing great, you two. I bet that crab’s going to be almost as tired as we are,”

“No,” Violet explained. “He’s done. Let him go, Sunny. We have all the staple sized pieces we need. I’m glad that part of the staple making process is over, though. It’s very nerve-wracking to tease a crab with your baby sister standing next to it.”

“Now what?” Klaus asked.

“Next you teach me Mr. Remora’s stories,” Violet instructed. “While Sunny and I bend these little bits of metal into the proper shape,”

“How?” Sunny asked confused.

“Watch,” Violet said smiling, exciting to show her siblings the second part to her. Sunny watched as Klaus closed Duncan’s dark green notebook and began paging through Isadora’s black notebook. Violet took the glob of creamed spinach and mixed it with a few pieces of stray hay and dust until it was a sticky, gluey mess. Then she placed this mess on the spiky end of the fork and stuck it to one of the bales of hay so the handle end of the fork hung over the side. She blew on the creamed-spinach-stray-hay-and-dust mixture until it hardened. “I always thought that Prufrock Prep’s creamed spinach was awfully sticky,” Violet explained. “And then I realized it could be used as glue. And now, we have a perfect method of making those tiny strips into staples. See, if I lay a strip across the handle of the fork, a tiny part of the strip hangs off each of the sides. Those are the parts that will go inside the paper when it’s a staple. If I take off my noisy shoes,” she explained as she took off her noisy shoes. “And use the metal ends to tap on the strips, they’ll bend the handle of the fork and turn into staples. See?”

“Brill!” Sunny yelled, which meant, “You’re a genius! But what can I do to help?”

“You can keep your noisy shoes on and guard us,” Violet said. “Klaus, you start summarizing the stories,”

All three orphans listened to Violet’s orders and would act accordingly for the rest of the night. Violet tapped away at the metal strips, and Klaus read out loud from Isadora’s notebooks, and Sunny stomped her noisy shoes in order to guard herself and her sister from the crabs. Soon, the children had a pile of homemade staples on the floor, the details of Mr. Remora’s stories in their brains, and not a single crab bothering them in the shack, and even with the threat of Coach Genghis hovering over them, the evening actually began to feel rather cozy. It reminded Klaus and Sunny of evenings they had spent when their parents were alive, in one of the living rooms of the Baudelaire mansion. This reminded Violet of her favorite evenings when her father was alive, and they were at the park, in their house, or at Briny Beach. Violet would often be tinkering away at some invention as she explained the mechanics to her father. Klaus would often be reading and info-dumping the information he was learning to either one of his parents or his baby sister. Sunny would often be making loud noises irritating Klaus for fun.

Of course, Violet was never tinkering frantically at an invention that would save her life. Klaus was never reading something he found so mundane and boring and Sunny was never making loud noises to scare crabs away from her toes., but nevertheless, the night wore, the orphans felt almost at home in the Orphans Shack. And when the sky began to lighten with the first rays of dawn, the orphans began to feel a certain thrill that was quite different from the thrill of being in disguise.

It was a thrill that I have felt a few times in my life, and it was a thrill that the orphans did not feel very often. But as the morning sun began to shine, the orphans felt the thrill of thinking your plan might work after all, and that perhaps they would eventually be as safe and happy as the evenings they remembered mournfully.

_________________________________________________

Sitting with friends, talking about something important is one of the most powerful and necessary forces in the world. It is the way so many noble organizations begin, with a conversation between associates, or that is what I have been told. People gathered together to fight treachery, as Violet, her siblings, and the Quagmires gathered together at Prufrock, which is the reason that so much wickedness is defeated. My associate told me this. I’d give anything to sit and talk with these three again someday.

The Quagmires nervously reached the athletic field. Duncan adjusted his fake glasses as Isadora made sure that her hair ribbon was visible enough to Genghis. Genghis blew his whistle angrily. “You’re late!” he yelled.

“Sorry, boss,” the Hook-handed man said handing Olaf a coffee.

“Not you,” Olaf said annoyed. “Those brats,”

“Boss, the waiter is long gone,” the bald man explained. “We searched everywhere,”

“Somebody broke him out by smashing the door,” the hook-handed man explained.

“And then they left in a taxi,” the henchperson of indeterminable gender informed.

Duncan and Isadora stood there awkwardly. Far enough from Olaf where he couldn’t see them clearly but close enough to hear him. “Enough!” Olaf barked. “Leave me alone so I can finish my plan.”

Two of his henchpeople walked away muttering something under their breath. The Hook-Handed man looked towards his boss. “Me too?” he asked.

“I can’t believe I’m here,” Olaf whined sitting down depressingly on the bleachers. “Staying up all night in the athletic field waiting for things to go my way. Just like when I was in school. My whole life is going around and around in a circle. Like those things a hamster plays in before you put it in the oven.”

“Ummm,”

“Well, it ends here!” He barked standing up, glaring at who he believed was Violet and her siblings. “All right, orphans! Start going around and around in circles!” He blew his whistle.

Both children looked at one another as they started to run. After running a few laps, making sure to keep their faces down when they passed closer to Genghis. “I know we’re doing this for serious reasons, but...this is really exciting,” Duncan whispered to Isadora.

“I agree,” she whispered back.

They heard Genghis blow his whistle again, causing them to jump. They began to run a bit faster, Isadora looking back at the Sunny mannequin making sure it wasn’t falling over from the increasing speed. Although Isadora could tell that the mannequin wasn’t affected by the Quagmires’ increased speed, she didn’t notice that the string that pulled the mannequin along with them was beginning to fray, nearly ready to snap into two.

____________________________________

“What did Mr. Remora have for dessert last Tuesday?” Klaus asked Violet.

“A pudding,”

“What kind of pudding?”

“I don't know,” she admitted. “Butterscotch?”

“Rice,” Klaus corrected.

“Rice pudding. Rice pudding. I have to remember that!” Violet told herself.

“How're the staples coming?” Klaus asked Sunny.

“Good!” she replied as she stomped her foot again.

The children went back to do their assigned tasks, all three starting to feel bettwer about this situation as a whole.

________________________________________________

The Hook-Handed Man sighed. “I had it tough at school. Did I tell you what my nickname was?”

Olaf looked at his henchman confused. “Did you tell me your name?” he asked. His henchman opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by Olaf turning his head quickly towards the luminous circle. “Wait…?”

“What?”

“Wait…” he said glaring at the track.

“What?”

“The baby’s pooped out,” he explained pointing at the figure he believed to be Sunny. “She’s stopped running. She’s standing there like a bag of flour.”

“Run, baby, run!” the Hook-Handed Man warned noticing Olaf’s change in tone.

Duncan and Isadora froze in place, turning behind them to realize that the string that Isadora held had indeed frayed so much that it ripped in two. They glanced at where the Sunny mannequin stood, on the other half of the luminous closer. The mannequin was at the closest point to Olaf as it could have been, which was good news to the Quagmires, this meant they were the furthest point from Olaf. “Uh-oh,” Isadora gasped as Duncan’s eyes widened.

“Maybe she needs a good kick to get moving,” Olaf growled standing up.

“Get moving, baby!” his henchperson warned as Olaf proceeded to walk towards ‘Sunny’.

“ Move your ass, you biting brat! ” Olaf yelled as he stood behind the Sunny mannequin.

“What do we do?” Duncan whispered both triplets stood watching Olaf glare down at the fake Sunny.

“Keep running,” Isadora suggested grabbing her brother’s arm at the exact moment that Olaf kicked his foot as hard as he could. A cloud of white flour surrounded him as his foot pierced open the toddler-sized bag of flour.

“ What!?” He roared, his head shooting up, turned directly at the two triplet orphans. The Quagmires could see his shiny, dark eyes even from afar.

Duncan and Isadora took this cue to start running...for their lives.

“Can we make it to the broom closet?” Duncan asked his sister frantically. “Or the Orphan Shack?”

“There’s a better place,” Isadora informed him, panting as she gripped his arm tighter and dragged him along.

“Oh, dear god,” the Hook-Handed Man cried as he watched his boss stomp angrily across the athletic field. He looked down at the mannequin. “Are you okay? Huh? Stay here,” he told the mannequin as he ran after his boss.

Genghis growled as he entered a building in the school. He noticed a library immediately. He growled as he broke into the library with complete and utter ease. He looked around the entrance of the library, straining his eyes as he looked around the room. Looking for orphans that he was currently planning on doing some terrible, terrible things to.

“Boss?” the Hook-Handed Man called out as he reached the library.

Olaf jumped and glared at the henchman. “You scared me,”

“Sorry,”

“I looked for them, but it was dark and creepy,” Olaf admitted. “Stay and guard the library. All smarty-pants kids end up here.”

His henchperson nodded. “Did baldy get the car?” Olaf asked.

“Yeah,” he answered. “You have a little...flour on your face,”

Olaf glared at his henchperson. “ I know...and soon...I will have the blood of orphans on my hands,” He replied darkly wiping his face egregiously.

From the other side of the library, Isadora and Duncan huddled together. Isadora held the spyglass in her hand, ready to use it if she needed to.

“We have to warn them,” Duncan whispered.

“We can’t go anywhere with him guarding the only exit,” Isadora whispered back. “The Baudelaires can pass the test,”

Duncan nodded his head but he wasn’t looking at his sister. Instead, a large black book had caught his eye. “Isa?” he whispered.

“Yeah?”

He pointed towards the book as a smile formed on his face. “The book,” he said.

“Let’s do some studying of our own,” she whispered as she slowly crawled toward the book. The triplets opened the book and the moonlight had given them enough light to read. They opened the large book to a random page. “The spyglass,” Isadora whispered as she quickly read the page, and fiddling with the dials on the spyglass.

“That ...explains the fire,” Duncan whispered as Isadora turned a few dials to turn the light from the spyglass on. They turned the page and gasped at the picture they could see.

“We’ve seen that man,” Isadora whispered.

The Hook-Handed Man noticed a light turn on in the library. “What..the…?” he said slowly and quietly walking in. He slowly walked towards the source of light. But the Quagmires were too mesmerized by the book to notice.

“It’s all connected,” Duncan explained as he turned another page. “What is VFD? Didn’t Violet say something about volunteering,”

The page he turned to, had a picture of a blue and white sugar bowl. “What’s so important about a sugar bowl?” she asked in a whisper.

But her brother wasn’t able to answer her question. In all honesty, that question was never truly answered by anyone that I asked. I’m nearly positive that even Violet and her siblings, to this day, don’t even know the answer to Isadora’s question. When I find them...I will be sure to ask them seeing as though, that is one mystery in this long, tragic story, that I, your slightly faithful narrator, have yet to solve.

As the words escaped Isadora’s mouth, she looked up and the Quagmires both saw the cold, devious face of Count Olaf’s henchman. Both triplets screamed in utter shock as the henchman grabbed the book from their arms, throwing it across the library.

___________________________________________

“What color were the cows on the dairy farm?” Klaus yawned.

“Brown?” Violet guessed, also yawning. “How long was the…” she yawned again. She heard a small snore from where Klaus laid. “Klaus?” she called out.

When he didn’t reply, she looked towards Sunny, who was slowly slumping to the ground. “Well, that’s the last staple,” Violet said to Sunny, stretching her tired muscles. “I think we can safely assume that you won’t lose your job, Sunny.” She said picking up her baby sister.

“Nilikoh,” Sunny replied, which meant, “And you seem to know every detail of Remora’s stories and Klaus seems to know all of Bass’ measurements, so I think it’s safe to assume that you guys won’t be expelled,” Violet slowly nodded her head.

“I’m going to assume that you’re agreeing with me,” Violet said as she laid herself and Sunny down on a hay bale. “Maybe we can take a quick nap,” she muttered as Sunny curled up into Violet’s protective arms. Violet took one glance at her and Klaus, gave a small smile, and closed her eyes. She thought of the Quagmires and hoped that their part of the plan worked as well as theirs.

_____________________________________________________

A little over an hour later, the three siblings woke up to a knock on their door. The person on the other side opened it with a slight push. “The sun has come up! The day has begun! Watching you flunk will be so much fun! Because you’re just orphans and you’re probably dumb! And my name is Carmelita!” Carmelita Spats sang loudly.

Violet opens her eyes as Klaus and Sunny groaned miserably. “Maybe I’m just tired, but I think she may be improving,” Violet said as she and her siblings stood up. Gathering up the staples and the notebooks. The three siblings were worried about the Quagmires. As Carmelita led the three siblings to the auditorium. They looked around worriedly for the Quagmires.

“Have you seen either one of them?” Klaus asked nervously.

“We haven’t seen them...but maybe they went right to bed after running laps all night,” Violet hoped. “I think we can safely assume that their part of the plan went well,”

“That’s true,” Klaus agreed as Sunny nodded her head. “I assume if they’d been caught we would have heard by now,”

Assumptions are a dangerous thing to make, and like all dangerous things to make, if you make even the tiniest mistake you can find yourself in terrible trouble. Making assumptions simply means believing things are a certain way with little or no evidence that shows you are correct, and you can see at once how this can lead to terrible trouble. For instance, one morning you might wake up and make the assumption that your bed was in the same place as it always was, even though you would have no real evidence that this was so. But when you got out of your bed, you might discover that it had floated out of the sea, and now you would be in terrible trouble all because of the incorrect assumption that you’d made. You can see that it is better not to make too many assumptions, particularly in the morning.

“I’d make the same assumption,” Violet said as they reached the auditorium.

“ I’d make the same assumption,” Nero mimicked in his nasty voice. The children were startled to see Nero holding a huge stacks of papers. He was accompanied by Mr. Poe, who looked at the children in disappointment. The children could hear the advanced computer as it scanned every students’ face, they could hear Carmelita starting a chant.

“I hope you’ve been studying all evening,” Nero warned. “Because I told your teachers to make these exams extra challenging, and the pieces of paper that Sunny has to staple are very thick.”

“Mr. Poe...what are you doing here?” Klaus asked.

“Well, I’m giving you a very disappointed look. You’ve been spending too much time with extracurricular activities. I don’t think homeschooling is the answer, but I brought along the necessary paperwork as suggested by Vice Principal Nero and by a gym teacher who I met wandering around creepily outside.” He explained in between coughs.

“That gym teacher is Olaf in disguise,” Klaus tried. “He tracked Sunny and I down and is in the middle of a scheme to steal our fortune and Violet’s,”

Mr. Poe pointed at the advanced computer. “Olaf? But…” he coughed. “What about the computer system Nero told me about it,”

“It didn’t work,” Violet explained.

Mr. Poe watched as it scanned another student and stated the obvious. That the student was not Count Olaf. “It certainly appears to be working,”

“The computer system didn’t recognize Olaf, because he’s in disguise!” Klaus pleaded.

“What sane man would disguise himself four times in a row?” Poe asked.

“Who said Olaf was sane?!” Klaus asked incredulously.

“Believe me, Poe, I’ve seen this sort of thing before,” Nero began.

“You’ve seen three children preyed upon by an insane lunatic?” Violet asked angrily.

Nero rolled his eyes. “Children will say anything to explain getting bad grades and failing at their work as administrative assistants!” he yelled glaring down at Sunny, who flipped him off.

“Administrative assistant?” Mr. Poe asked.

“Sunny’s been working as a secretary,” Klaus commented. “Great job at picking a school for us,”

“Sunny should be in preschool.” Mr. Poe commented before coughing. “This doesn’t seem suitable,’

“No duh!” Sunny yelled, glaring and pointing at Nero in disgust.

“Well, if they flunk these exams, all three of them will be expelled, so it hardly matters now,” Nero explained. “Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass will take turns asking you questions until one of you gets an answer wrong, and then you flunk. Sunny will begin her reappraisal with stapling these booklets of five papers each, and if your homemade staples don’t work perfectly. Then you’re fired. Well, a musical genius like myself doesn’t have all day to oversee exams. I’ve missed too much practice time as it is.”

“This is not Count Olaf,” the computer claimed as Genghis walked in the auditorium. A smile upon his face.

“Oh! Coach Genghis, come on in,”

“

The children glared at the fake coach. Genghis was walking straight towards them, nonchalantly, whistling an irritating tune to himself. Their hearts sank in their chests as they realized how incorrect one of their assumptions had been. It was not the assumption that Sunny would not lose her job, although, that assumption, too, would turn out to be incorrect. And it was not their assumption that Violet and Klaus would not be expelled, although that, too, was wrong as well. It was the assumption that the Quagmire triplets and their part of the plan going well. As Coach Genghis walked closer and closer, Violet and her siblings saw that he was holding Violet’s black hair ribbon in one of his scraggly hands, and the fake pair of glasses in his other. And with every step of his expensive running shoes, the coach raised a small white cloud, which the children realized must be flour from the Sunny mannequin. But more than a ribbon, fake glasses, or the small clouds of flour was the look in Genghis’ shiny evil eyes. As Coach Genghis reached the children, his eyes were shining bright with triumph, as if he had finally won a game that he had been playing for a long, long time, and the three siblings realized that the assumption about the Quagmire triplets had been very, very wrong indeed.

“ Where are they?!” Violet yelled as Coach Genghis stopped in front of her and her siblings. “ What have you done to them?!”

Genghis' eyes were shining as bright as they could, but his voice was calm and pleasant. “Here they are,” he said handing Violet the black ribbon and handing Klaus the fake glasses. “I thought you’d be worried about them, so I brought them over first thing in the morning,”

“ We don’t mean these them!” Klaus yelled. “ We mean them them!”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow,” He replied. “Now are you three ready for the worst morning of your lives?”

“ Quaggies!” Sunny shrieked, which meant, “Tell us where the Quagmires are, you rat bastard!”

“You see,” Genghis explained. “The orphans ran laps all night as part of my S.O.R.E program, but they had to dash off in the morning to take these exams. In their hurry, Violet dropped her ribbon and Klaus dropped his glasses…”

“ You know very well that is not what happened!” Violet yelled at the Coach. Although the chanting of the students’ continued to roar louder than the conversation they were having.

“ Where are the Quagmires!?” Klaus cried. “ What have you done to our friends!”

“Stop talking nonsense, orphans,” Nero yelled. “We have an exam to take! Let’s begin!”

Nero and Poe walked away to their seats. Violet, Klaus, and Sunny all glared daggers at the Coach.

“ Where are they?” Violet asked coldly.

“Who?” Genghis asked pretending he had no idea what she was talking about.

“ The Quagmires!” Klaus replied back.

“Oh, the twins?”

“ Triplets!” Sunny corrected.

Genghis gave them a devious smirk. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” Genghis replied. “Now let’s go, orphans, I want to watch you three get expelled.”

“We don’t give a fuck about getting expelled,” Violet hissed. “We care about our friends!”

“Well, the Quaggies had to be punished for their part in your little...scheme,” Genghis whispered deviously. “So I walked them over to the cafeteria and put two workers in charge of them. They’ll be whisking eggs all day long, I hear.”

Klaus looked at his sisters confused, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. He stared back at the cruel man. “That’s it? That’s all they’re doing?” He asked suspiciously. “Whisking...eggs?”

“That’s what I said,” Genghis replied and leaned so close to the three children that all they could see were his shiny eyes and the crooked curve of his wicked smile. “Those two Quagmire twins will whisk and whisk until they are...simply whisked away,”

“You’re a liar,” Violet said glaring at him.

Genghis smiled a twisted smile. “That’s an assumption,” he muttered as he walked onto the stage to address the crowd of students. He listened for a moment as the students chanted ‘Remember, you will die!’. “This school...has a new kind of spirit energy. A sense of unity and joy which you usually cannot find unless you are at a birthday party or a public hanging. I think the flunking of Miss Snicket and the Baudelaire orphans out of this school is bringing out the best of all of us. And so, without further ado…”

“A violin cadenza in the style of the Human League!” Nero announced as he began to play a few sour notes on his violin.

“Dear God…” Genghis whispered in annoyance. “Whoa...no no...let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Hey Gomorrah! Sass! Test them! ”

“It’s Mrs. Bass and my name is Remora,” Mr. Remora corrected.

“We’ll find out who’s full of remora soon enough. Test them!” he began chanting.

Mr. Remora cleared his throat and addressed Violet. “Violet, in the story about my pet donkey, how many miles did the donkey run?”

“Six,” Violet answered confidently.

Nero began laughing. “ Six.” He mocked.

“Yes...that’s...correct,” Remora explained confused

“Rats!” Genghis muttered as he tapped a bell.

“Klaus,” Mrs. Bass addressed the orphan boy. “How long was the book with a yellow cover?”

“N-nineteen centimeters,” Klaus stuttered nervously.

“ Nineteen centimeters,” Nero mocked. Laughing.

“Correct.” Mrs. Bass responded confused.

Genghis rolled his eyes as he hit the bell.

Nero stepped onto the stage staring at Sunny. “Sunny Baudelaire, I need you to organize these file cards of students who owe me candy. But not by name! No! But by the color of candy I want!” he demanded as he threw a pile of file cards on to a small desk that Sunny sat comfortably at. She looked to the file cards and then at her siblings. She picked up the cards and began to shuffle them like her father had taught her to do some time before his untimely death. Nero continued to laugh but his laugh soon became silence as Sunny effortlessly and flawlessly sorted the file cards into piles separated by the color of candy that Nero wanted.

“Oh, that’s…” Nero said watching Sunny. Even her siblings watched her in awe. “That’s...very impressive, Miss Baudelaire. I must admit.”

Genghis growled under his breath as he hit the bell again.

“In my story about the mushrooms, what was the name of the chef?”

“Maurice,”

“Correct.”

“How long was chicken breast number seven?”

“F-fourteen centimeters and fi-five millimeters,”

“ Fourteen centimeters and five millimeters. ”

“Correct.”

Mr. Remora and Mrs. Bass looked at each other with confused expressions. But they continued to question the two elder orphans as Nero kept demanding Sunny to do several menial tasks. But with every correct answer that Violet or Klaus would give and with every completed task that Sunny performed, Genghis would angrily hit a bell, glaring at the children with his shiny eyes as he waited in anticipation to see if he was winning all five of his orphan prey this morning. The comprehensive exams went on and on, sometime during the middle of it, Sunny had noticed that the librarian, Miss Caliban, had walked out after seemingly being annoyed by the rambling of an idiotic coughing banker. Sunny and her siblings wished they could be excused from the remainder of the exams because the exams were so boring that the three siblings worried that they would doze off in the middle of them and fail. But they dared not doze off. One wrong answer and one incomplete task would expel them from Prufrock and they would be in Genghis’ clutches. Violet tried her best to remember each detail Klaus had taught her, Klaus tried to remember each measurement he had taught himself and Sunny stapled like mad. Finally, Mr. Remora stopped and addressed the crowd.

_____________________________________________

As Miss Caliban exited the auditorium, she made her way to her library. “In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one’s philosophical and literary principles,” she said to herself as she reached the door of her library. She looked inside and saw a mess of books all over the floor, a true sign of foul play. Her eyes fixated on a book that laid on the ground. She walked over to it and scanned its title in complete silence as she wondered what in the world had happened in her library. It had not been like this when she left last night and she had a sick feeling in her stomach. Her eyes went wide as she glanced at the book The Incomplete History of Secret Organizations. The title read.

She scanned her library desperately wondering if the children had been in here last night and found the book. But if they had...then where were the children? She knew where Violet Snicket and the two Baudelaires were...she had just seen them on stage taking their exams. But where was the Quagmires?

It can sometimes be overwhelming to witness, or even research, a series of unfortunate events that rumble through one’s life like a mysterious automobile with its engine running. Which is why some people need to excuse themselves from time to time to a place where the world is quiet. Like a crystal ball ready for anyone who has an important question. I urge you to do the same...look away from this austere academy before it is too late. This episode in the lives of Violet Snicket and her siblings is nearly over, but there is still time for it to get much, much worse.

And as Olivia Caliban realized that sometimes when you are trying to find a quiet place to think, you stumble upon a loud mystery that will consume your entire life until it’s over.

_______________________________________________

“We’ve come to the end of the comprehensive exams and the professional reappraisal for Violet Snicket, Klaus and Sunny Baudelaire. Violet Snicket is a fine student and passes language arts with high marks even if she’d been sleeping in class lately,”

Violet smiled triumphantly.

“I’ve never encountered anyone more fluent in the metric system than Klaus Baudelaire. He gets an A-plus, two centimeters by one centimeter,”

Klaus smiled triumphantly.

“I hate to admit it,” Nero began. “But Sunny Baudelaire is a fantastic administrative assistant.” Sunny finished typing something on her little typewriter and handed it to Nero. “Look, she even edited my resume, highlighting my musicianship without drawing attention to the fact I never graduated middle school!”

Sunny smiled triumphantly. “Magic,” she remarked, which meant, “I don’t know how I managed to do that...it wasn’t easy,”

“What my sister means is, did we all pass?” Klaus asked desperately. The three children resumed glaring at the Coach, who sat in a chair looking pretty pissed off.

“No,” Carmelita commented. “You’re not adorable enough to pass. You flunked! You flunked!” she chanted.

Violet and Klaus looked at one another annoyed as the crowd of students began to chant alongside Carmelita.

“No, no, no, no, no,” Nero said shushing the crowd. “I share your discomfort with orphans, Carmelita. But...I have to admit that Miss Snicket and the Baudelaires pass with flying colors. Mr. Poe, I will allow these three to stay the remaining trimester, and you may leave after giving me the candy.”

“Thank you, Vice-Principal Nero,” Poe remarked, coughing. “Baudelaires. Lilac…”

“Violet…” Violet corrected.

“The, uh, disappointment that I expressed earlier has been lifted by the fact that you clearly memorized anecdotes and measurements to the best of your abilities. And sunny, I may consult with you later about the bank’s latest quarterly report, which could use a more dynamic layout,”

“Fuck off,” Sunny replied.

“Not yet...you won’t!” Genghis said slowly standing up, turning towards the children. “This is a comprehensive exam, isn’t it? Well, I am their gym teacher, and I haven’t given my test. According to the Prufrock Preparatory Handbook, gym teacher evaluations are worth a full fifty-one percent of their grade.”

“That’s actually correct,” Nero remarked as Klaus gave Violet an uneasy glance. “But how did you know?”

“Let me...tell you a story,” He said smirking. “A long time ago, a handsome young man was expelled from this very school, on this very stage, for that very reason. So, one last challenge, orphans. And this one will determine your entire future.”

“We’d be more than happy to run laps,” Violet replied bitterly.

“You’ll see that we are in extremely good shape,” Klaus noted just as bitterly as his elder sister.

Genghis smirked. “I think there’s a better way to test your physical princess,”

“I think you mean ‘prowess’,” Klaus corrected rolling his tired eyes.

“I think I mean ‘arms’,” Genghis hissed back. The two elder orphans glanced at each other worriedly. “Arm wrestling. No holds barred. Against an opponent who is as heavy and as slow as a bag of flour… Sunny Baudelaire.”

Everyone gasped as Sunny looked at Genghis like he was crazy.

“Nerds! Arm wrestling furniture!” Genghis yelled.

“Five bucks on Genghis!” Nero shouted.

“This isn’t fair!” Violet protested.

“You’re a full-grown adult. Sunny’s barely a toddler.” Klaus pointed out.

“That hardly seems sporting,” Mr. Poe commented before coughing into his handkerchief again.

“Fine,” Genghis said rolling his eyes. He focused his attention to Klaus, who was slowly starting to shake. “I’ll take on the bookworm,”

“That seems fair,” Nero commented.

Violet looked from her brother to the disguised villain. Not that she doubted Klaus could take Genghis in an arm-wrestling contest, although if she did doubt him, she wouldn’t be wrong. She could see that Genghis was singling him out because Klaus was the easiest one of the two older orphans to fight against. Violet could already see that Klaus was slightly shaking at the mere prospect of Olaf touching him. She knew Klaus was not in the state of mind to do this alone and she wasn’t one hundred percent sure she could do this on her own either. She couldn’t chance this. Her siblings’ lives were on the line.

She stepped forward. “You can take the both of us,” she explained.

“Uh, I’ll pass,” Genghis said laughing.

“What’s wrong, Coach Genghis?” Violet asked. “Afraid you’re not strong enough?”

“A real gym teacher could do it,” Klaus added, realizing almost immediately what Violet was doing.

“Yes, Coach Genghis, surely you’re stronger than two simpering orphans,” Nero said.

“Of course, I am!” He yelled as he sat down. Violet and Klaus looked at one another, both feeling very uneasy. They sat next to each other on the small bench that was placed on the opposite side of the table. Olaf slammed his elbow on the table, glaring at both children. Klaus nervously placed his hand into Olaf’s as he tried to stop himself from shaking.

“I’m right here,” Violet whispered before placing her hand around Klaus’ to get a grip on Olaf’s. “He can’t hurt you, I won’t let him.”

Klaus slowly nodded in response as Olaf smirked at the two children. Sunny noticed that Olaf was now completely focused on her siblings. She remembered something that Duncan Quagmire had suggested when Olaf first showed up at Prufrock. She looked in the directions of his shoes. She shrugged her shoulders as she slowly made way towards Olaf’s expensive running shoes, glancing up at him every so often as she crawled, making sure his focus stayed solely on Violet and Klaus.

“This reminds me of a story,” Genghis explained as he pushed both children’s arms a bit, worrying them. Klaus and Violet strengthened their hold on Olaf’s hand as they tried to keep him from slamming their hands down. “Some time ago, two orphans came to me needing my help.” His voice was strained as he was using as much strength as he could muster to beat a fourteen-year-old girl and twelve-year-old boy at arm wrestling. “‘Coach Genghis’ they said to me, ‘We’re complete failures. We have an enormous fortune, and we're keeping it all to ourselves out of our own selfishness…’”

Violet and Klaus glared at him as they tried to counter all of Genghis’ advances. Genghis was getting very irritated that the two children were holding their own in this arm-wrestling competition. Violet stared at Olaf with a face of pure, unbridled hatred as Klaus, who still had worry written all over his face, glared at the villain as well. He hated the fact that he was touching Olaf’s disgusting hand but he trusted Violet...he felt safe around his older sister. So as bad as it was, the fact that she was right there with him, helping him face his worst nightmare helped him stay planted in reality. “Then one day…” Genghis continued, his voice still strained as he pushed against the combined strength of Violet and Klaus. “They met this third orphan...this pretty orphan…” he said, making sure to whisper the word ‘pretty’ so only Violet and Klaus could hear. “What...a pity, this newest orphan...just like her father, in way over her head.” He hissed, although his voice was still strained, it was full of venom. A venom he hoped would distract Violet to where he could win this.

Violet’s eyes glared at him with a brighter intensity as she and Klaus felt Genghis exerting more strength. “ How do we learn to share?’ all three had asked me. How do we learn to give up in the face of all-powerful, very good-looking physical strength?’ And...do...you...know...what...I...told...them?!” Genghis practically yelled, straining his voice and his even his face as he spoke. He pushed the children’s arms closer to the table with each passing word, although it wasn’t an easy thing to do.

Sunny managed to reach underneath the table undetected by Olaf and even her siblings. She held her hands up, forming two L’s with her fingers to figure out which shoe she needed to undo. Violet and Klaus’ faces were strained with worry and exhaustion. All that was going through their minds was that Olaf might actually win.

Snickets take care of their own. Violet remembered as Klaus felt her grip tightened. “ You can never give up!” She protested as she pushed Olaf’s arm back.

All three arm wrestlers grunted in frustration. “You can never... give up...if you find yourself in terrible circumstances!” Klaus protested, his voice strained from exhaustion.

Olaf was too busy to notice the tiny hands unlacing one of his shoes.

“You...must...keep...struggling,” Klaus cried, his face turning red from all the strength he’s been exerting.

“You must struggle until you find a safe place to live!” Violet explained as Olaf was beginning to worry. The children seemed to be gaining the upper hand on him.

“You must struggle until you find noble and reliable friends!” Klaus cried.

Olaf using his free arm, grabbed the side of the table to hold his balance, as Sunny completely removed the shoelaces from his left shoe.

“You must struggle…” Violet said glaring at Olaf.

“And struggle,” Klaus added, glaring daggers at Olaf.

“Until the world can see who you really are!” Violet yelled. Just as Violet finished her sentence, to everyone’s surprise, Sunny jumped up as high as she could, placed both her tiny hands on the hands of her siblings and worst enemy and effectively pulled their arms, causing Genghis to fall out of his chair and for his unsecured left shoe to fly into the air and land in front of Nero.

Genghis looked a mixture of shocked and pissed.

Violet and Klaus looked at one another and smiled. They then both looked at Sunny, who took a bow.

“I love you, Sunny!” Violet squealed happily.

“Good job, Sunshine!” Klaus said patting his sister on her back.

“That kid came out of nowhere!” Genghis yelled angrily. “That’s cheating!”

“Holy Beethoven,” Nero said as he seemed to be looking at Olaf’s tattooed ankle. “I see what you orphans mean,”

“Finally,” Violet cried.

“What you mean is that I should keep on struggling, and then perhaps I’ll be invited to join a legitimate orchestra,” Nero replied.

“What?” Klaus asked incredulously. “That’s not what we mean at all!”

Nero picked up the running shoe and handed it back to Olaf. “Your shoe, sir,”

“Look at the tattoo of an eye on his ankle!” Klaus shouted.

“Egad! I know that ankle anywhere!” Mr. Poe shouted form the crowd, before coughing.

Violet looked hopeful at Mr. Poe. Everything is going to be okay. He’s going to be arrested. She foolishly thought as Mr. Poe stood up.

Olaf quickly put his shoe back on. “You flatter me, kind sir!”

“Don’t call me ‘kind sir’, kind sir. You are Count Olaf and that tattoo proves it. It is too late to cover it up with a probably overpriced running shoe.” Mr. Poe said.

“I am not covering up anything,” Genghis said smirking at Violet, Klaus, and Sunny. “I need to wear these,”

“Don’t be ridiculous! Why would a notorious criminal need running shoes?” Mr. Poe asked.

Klaus’ eyes widened as Olaf gave each of the children one last smirk. He could feel the Quagmires notebooks in his pockets. He was afraid that the notebooks might be the only sign of the Quagmire he would ever see again. His heart dropped as Olaf faced the crowd. “ For running, of course,” he hissed as he ran out of the auditorium.

Violet looked at Mr. Poe in pure shock. “ Go after him! Mr. Poe!” she shrieked desperately. Mr. Poe just stood there.

The orphans were startled for a moment, not only because he had started running so suddenly but because it seemed to the three siblings that Olaf had given up too easily. This worried them. After his long, elaborate plan of disguising himself as a gym teacher, forcing them to run laps, getting them expelled, he was suddenly racing out of the auditorium without even glancing back at the children who had begun to chase him.

“Sunny,” Klaus called out as he lifted up his sister. He didn’t know how fast he could run while carrying Sunny but he didn’t trust leaving her alone... “Come on, Vi,” he said to his older sister, who just stood there in shock as to why no one was helping the children and trying to capture Olaf. Violet and Klaus began to run as fast as they could, Klaus holding Sunny as tight to him as he could to make the bumpy ride a little better for her.

They quickly passed the bald man and the Henchperson of Indeterminate Gender. “Wow, they’re fast!” the bald man exclaimed.

“Well...they have been running lap for two weeks,” the henchperson replied.

Just as Olaf was passing the Orphan Shack, Violet grabbed on to a loose piece of cloth from the man’s turban. She gripped it around her hand and began to unravel the man’s disguise as Olaf began to spin around in an exaggerated motion. When the turban was completely unraveled and the other end of the turban wasn’t holding on to anything, Violet fell flat on her ass as Olaf backed into the tin shack, causing it to fall over.

He got back up faster than Violet had and he continued to run. “ Don’t think I’ve given up on you, orphans!” He called back as he sprinted. “But in the meantime...I have two little prisoners with a very nice fortune of their own!”

All three of the siblings felt their hearts shift in their chests. Olaf began laughing like a lunatic as he pointed a skinny, bony finger across the lawn. The children gasped. At the far end of Prufrock Prep, they saw a long, black car with dark smoke billowing out of its exhaust pipes. But the three siblings were not gasping at air pollution. The two masked cafeteria workers were walking towards the car, but they had taken off their metal masks at last, and the three could see that their faces were covered in white make-up. But this was not what made the children’s hearts sink into their stomachs. Although it was a surprising turn of events. What they were gasping at was what each of the women was dragging toward the car. Each powder-faced woman was dragging one of the Quagmire triplets, who were struggling desperately to getaway.

“Put them in the backseat!” Genghis called out. “Hooky, be ready to drive!”

“NO!” Klaus yelled desperately as he put Sunny down on the ground and began to run towards Olaf’s car. Violet and Sunny followed suit and although the three siblings had endured thirteen nights of S.O.R.E, the three orphans never wanted to run more than they did now.

“After them!” Violet shouted.

The three siblings ran as fast as they could. Calling out pleads and begs to Olaf to leave their friends alone. Violet ran, her hair flying wildly behind her. Klaus ran, not even bothering to care that his gut was telling him this was not a good idea. And Sunny ran as fast as her legs could carry her, her mouth bared ready to use her teeth if needed. If you had been hiding the archway, spying on what was going on, you would have seen what looked like a strange race on the front lawn, with Count Olaf running in front and Violet and her siblings right behind. But if you continued watching, you would have seen an exciting development in the race, which was the three siblings were gaining on Olaf. The villain had much longer legs than the three siblings, but he had spent the last thirteen nights sitting down, blowing a whistle. The children had spent those nights running hundreds of laps around the luminous circle, and so their tiny, strong legs were overcoming Olaf’s height advantage.

I hate to pause at such a suspenseful part of the story, but I feel I must intrude and give you one last warning as we reach the end of this part of this terribly miserable tale. You were probably thinking, as you read that the children were catching up to their enemy. That perhaps this was the time in the lives of Violet Snicket and the two Baudelaire orphans when this dastardly bastard would finally be caught, and that perhaps the children would find some kind guardians and that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny would spend the rest of their lives in relative happiness, possibly creating the printing business that they had discussed with the Quagmires. And maybe they spend the rest of their lives in each other’s companies, happy and free from Olaf. And you are free to believe that this is how the story turns out if you want. The last few events in this chapter of Violet Snicket and her siblings’ lives are incredibly unfortunate and quite terrifying, and so if you would prefer to ignore them entirely you should put this book down now and think of a gentle ending to this horrible story. I have made a solemn promise to write the Snicket and Baudelaire history exactly as it occurred, but you have made no such promise, well, as far as I know, and you do not need to endure the wretched ending of this story, and this is your very last chance to save yourself from the woeful knowledge of what happened next.

Violet was the first to reach Olaf, she stretched out her arm as far as she could, trying to grab his arm to stop him from running. Her fingers graced his arm as she continued to stretch her arm as far as she could. “ Get back here! ” she called out to him as she grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. She gripped it tightly and was trying her best to hold him back. He noticed that she had grabbed hold of him and he elbowed her in the chest sending her back to the ground, landing on her ass.

Sunny was the next orphan to reach Olaf because she was the closest to the ground, she was in the perfect position to attack his legs and maybe that would stop him from running. Using all four of her sharp teeth, she dove towards his shoes again, her teeth making contact with the heel of his shoe. It did stop him, but only momentarily. He stopped running as he proceeded to slip his foot from his shoe and began running again. “Drat!” Sunny yelled throwing his shoe at him. Her face scrunched up in disgust because his shoe was rather smelly and tasted utterly disgusting.

Klaus, however, didn’t say anything and he didn’t stop running either. He was putting all of his energy towards running, but he was not running towards the man he feared the most. Klaus was running towards Olaf’s car. The powder-faced women were shoving the Quagmires into the backseat, and he knew this might be his only chance to rescue them.

“Klaus!” Isadora shouted.

“Oh my God, Klaus!” Duncan cried. He reached the car. He grabbed Duncan’s hand desperately. “Help us!”

“We found the book!” Isadora called out.

“We can discuss that in a moment,” Klaus said desperately as he began to drag Duncan out of Olaf’s car. “Hang on!” Without a word, one of the powder-faced women leaned forward and bit Klaus’ hand, forcing him to let go of Duncan. The other powder-face woman leaned across Duncan’s lap and began pulling the car door closed.

“ No! Please!” Klaus begged and grabbed the door handle.

“VFD!” Duncan explained as he tried to push the white face women away from the car door. “Violet was right! It’s all connected to VFD!”

Back and forth, Klaus and Olaf’s henchwoman tugged on the door, forcing it halfway open and halfway shut.

“The notebooks, Klaus,” Isadora called out.

“I have them. Don’t worry,” Klaus cried.

“Klaus!” Duncan screamed. “Listen to me, Klaus! If anything goes wrong…”

“ Nothing will go wrong! I won’t let him take you! ” Klaus cried tears in his eyes. “ I’m sorry...this is all my fault….but I’m going to fix this. I’ll save you! ”

“This isn’t your fault!” Isadora reasoned.

“I’ll have you out in a second!” Klaus promised. Klaus pulled on the car door as hard as he could.

“If anything goes wrong…” Duncan explained. “There’s something you should know. When we were researching the history of Count Olaf…”

“And what we read from the book,” Isadora added.

“We found out something dreadful!” Duncan said.

“We can talk about that later,” Klaus cried, still struggling with the door.

“The notebooks!” Isadora cried. The first white-faced woman put her hand over Isadora’s mouth so she could no longer speak. Isador turned her head roughly and slipped from the woman’s grasp. “The…” the powdery hand covered her mouth again.

“Hang on, Isa!” Klaus called desperately. “Hang on, Duncan…”

“Look in the notebooks! VFD!” Duncan cried just as a powdery hand covered his mouth.

“What?”

Duncan shook his head vigorously and freed himself from the woman’s hand for just one moment. “Ask Violet….VFD!” he managed to scream again and that was the last thing Klaus heard before Count Olaf, who had been running slower without one of his shoes, had reached his car and with a deafening roar, he grabbed Klaus’ hand and pried it loose from the car door.

“ No! No! Don’t take them! Please! ” Klaus begged.

Olaf merely glared at the boy as he kicked Klaus in the stomach so hard, sending him falling to the ground and rolling in the lawn with a loud thump! The villain towered over Klaus and gave him a sickening smile, then leaned down as close as he could to Klaus. “ Look’s like I’ve won! ” he hissed as grabbed Klaus’ ankles and began dragging him towards his car in hopes of kidnapping him along with the Quagmires.

“ NO! ” Klaus screamed, but Olaf merely smiled. Klaus began furiously kicking and screaming. Turning his head every which way. “ Violet!”

Violet and Sunny looked at one another worriedly. Violet quickly looked from Klaus, who was desperately trying to dig his nails into the lawn to grab on to something as Olaf struggled to drag him into the car. “Hooky! Get ready to drive!” Olaf yelled.

“Stay here, Sunshine,” Violet warned her little sister as she grabs Klaus’ hands.

“ Violet! Please! ” Klaus pleaded as he gripped Violet’s hands tighter. “ Don’t let him take me...please...you can’t let him take me!”

“He won’t!” Violet cried as she gripped her brother’s hands desperately. Pulling with all her might. “ He’s not taking you or the Quagmires! I promise! ”

Violet was exhausted but she continued to pull at her brother’s arms. Sunny watched with a frown on her face. She loved Violet and understood that Violet was her sister but she felt a ping of jealousy when Klaus had called our for Violet to save him instead of her. After everything she had done back in Paltryville, she still hadn’t proved to him that she could hold her own? Sunny just couldn’t fathom why Klaus was still acting as though she couldn’t hold her own.

“ Violet! ” Klaus cried as he felt his sweaty, shaky hands were beginning to slip from Violet’s grasp.

“ No…! ” Violet cried desperately.

Olaf began laughing. “You idiots better be ready to floor it!” He called to his henchfolk. “We’re going to be rich!”

Olaf pulled Klaus’ legs harder trying to get Violet to let go. But even though her arms were tried from the arm wrestling match and her lack of sleep, Violet was still holding Klaus’ hands as tight as she could. She refused to allow Olaf to take her siblings or her friends away. She glanced at the car, watching as the Quagmires continued to struggle with Olaf’s henchpeople.

Sunny watched in horror as Olaf seemed to be winning this little tug of war that he and Violet were playing. She looked at her brother and frowned. She couldn’t let Olaf take Klaus. She didn’t know what happened to him back when they had lived with Olaf. And the unknown was the scariest part for Sunny.

Never again! Sunny told herself as she quickly ran up to Olaf. Violet noticed what Sunny was doing but she wasn’t able to stop her. All she could do was yell a desperate, “ Sunny! No!”

As Violet spoke, Sunny bit down as hard as she could on Olaf’s hands that held her brother’s ankles. “ Let go! ” Sunny yelled. “ Of our brother!” It was the longest sentence that Klaus had ever heard from his baby sister. The vile man screamed in pure agony as he released Klaus’ ankles quickly. The hand Sunny bit began to bleed. When he had let go of Klaus, the sudden absence of force caused Violet to fall back on to her butt for the third time. Klaus landed with a slight thud, dropping the Quagmires’ notebooks in the grass near Sunny. Sunny quickly gathered them, stuffing them into her uniformed pockets before Olaf could notice.

“ You blasted demon…” Olaf screeched at Sunny as his face lit up from an idea coming to him. Sunny’s eyes got wide when she realized why he was making that face. Before any of the orphans could react, Olaf quickly scooped up Sunny by the collar of her uniform and literally threw her harshly into the back of his car. She landed with a thud on the laps of the two Quagmire triplets. Her head resting on Duncan’s lap and her body landing on Isadora’s lap.

“ Klaus!” Sunny cried desperately. “Violet!”

Olaf began to laugh maniacally as he pushed Duncan further into the car, to make room for himself in the back seat.

He put an arm around Duncan as he slammed the car door. He rolled down the window as his henchperson started the car.

“ NO!” Violet and Klaus yelled simultaneously as they both stood up.

“ Violet! ” Isadora screamed.

“ Klaus!” Duncan cried.

“ Save us!” Sunny pleaded.

“ Isadora! Duncan!” Violet yelled, tears forming in her eyes.

“ Sunny!” Klaus cried, tears already pouring down his face.

Klaus looked at Violet desperately. “What...what do we do?” He asked, his voice trembling as Olaf’s henchmen began to drive away.

Violet growled. “Keep running!”

Klaus didn’t need to be told twice. Both Violet Snicket and Klaus Baudelaire ran as fast as they could. They ran for their lives.

“VFD!” one Quagmire screamed.

Sunny crawled from the Quagmires lap to Olaf’s trying to peer out of the window he rolled down. She waved her tiny hand outside of his window as if trying to reach for one of her siblings. “ Klaus! Violet!”

“ Sunny!” they screamed in unison. “ Quagmires!”

Olaf put an arm around Sunny, who tried to bite him. “Remind me that we need a muzzle for this one, ” he told his henchpeople pointing at Sunny.

As the Quagmires continued to yell VFD! As loud as they could, Olaf continued to laugh as his henchperson began to drive over the speed limit. He peered his head out the window so he can watch and laugh at the two orphans foolishly chasing his car.

He grabbed Sunny by her chin and forced her face partially out of the car. “ You’ve failed your parents, you little bookworm!” He yelled to Klaus. Klaus’ heart shattered when he saw the look of fear in Sunny’s eyes. Even from far away, he knew his baby sister was scared out of her mind. “ And Miss Snicket...you think that you’re all that...but you’re not even close! ” He yelled laughing maniacally. “You couldn’t stop me, unlike your pitiful father!”

Violet and Klaus continued to run. Both shouting “Give them back!”

“Two fortunes down and one to go!” He called out to the two running orphans. “And don’t worry...my sweet...sweet...little Snicket...I’ll be back for you and your precious orphan skin!”

And with that, he rolled up his window with a final wave to Klaus and Violet.

Olaf rolled his eyes as the Quagmires and Sunny continued screaming for help. The Quagmires had managed to push passed the white-faced women and began to pound on the rear window of the car. Violet and Klaus couldn’t hear what they were saying, but they could tell that Duncan and Isadora’s face was desperate and terrified. “Would someone shut these kids up?”

The Hook-Handed Man tried to shush the three kidnapped victims as he drove passed the archway of Prufrock Prep.

“ Duncan!” Klaus cried.

“ Isadora!” Violet cried

Both siblings stopped running. “ Sunny!” they both cried in unison.

Violet looked to the ground in anger as Olaf’s car drove out of sight.

Klaus fell to his knees on the ground. Breaking down into sobs. “ Take me…” he whispered.

Violet looked at Klaus as the young boy sobbed. “ She’s just a toddler...take me,”

Violet walked over to Klaus and put a loving hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, “I should have let him take me,” he whispered softly.

Both siblings had tears in their eyes. Violet fell to her knees and sobbed alongside her brother. “We have to go after them!” Violet screamed angrily. Her face streaked with tears. She turned to face her brother. “We have to go after them!”

But Klaus sank further to the ground, weeping in frustration, exhaustion, and depression. Klaus knew by experience that Count Olaf would soon be long gone. This time, Olaf had not merely escaped though, but this time he escaped with Klaus’ boyfriend, his close friend, and his baby sister. Violet and Klaus wept because they both feared they would never see Sunny or the Quagmires again. They were wrong about this...but they had no way of knowing they were wrong, and just imagining what Olaf might do to the Quagmires and Sunny was enough to make them both weep even harder. Violet wept, thinking of how kind the Quagmires had been to her and her siblings and how accepting Sunny had been when she found out that Violet was her older sister. Klaus wept, thinking of how the Quagmires risked their lives to help him and his sisters and how Olaf was right when he said that Klaus had failed his parents. He was not keeping his promise to them at all, Sunny was now kidnapped and in Count Olaf’s clutches. And they both wept as they thought of the information that the Quagmires had discovered that they might never get to share with them.

“What did Duncan and Isadora shout to you...from the car?” Violet asked.

“V.F.D,” He replied.

Violet’s face grew dark with anger as Klaus spoke the name of the cult that her father was working for. Violet looked at Klaus and then at the direction that Olaf had sped away. She needs to find out everything she could about VFD and the dreadful secrets it is hiding. Perhaps it could help her rescue Sunny and the Quagmires. Perhaps it can bring Olaf to justice. And perhaps it could somehow make clear the mysterious and deadly way that she and her siblings' lives had become so unfortunate.

Klaus grabbed onto Violet and sobbed. Violet held her brother close. If you have lost a friend...or even a sibling, you know it makes your world feel incomplete, like a puzzle with a piece missing, or one half of a broken spyglass. I’m sorry to tell you that this story does not end with the rescue of two brave and noble triplets and a brave and noble toddler. This story ends the way all stories end. With the motto of Prufrock Preparatory School.

That motto is ‘Memento Mori’ and it means…

Remember, you will die.

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