#the poor radish
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Never forget the cursed Hanayo official art that started so many debates back in the day
#lovelive#lovelive muse#lovelive hanayo#hanayo#LL#hanayo koizumi#official art#idol game#rhythm game#the poor radish#how did her shoe fall off???
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White radish to Cale: We are similar. You are now my fated enemy.
Alberu to Cale: We are similar. You are now my younger brother.
Duke Fredo to Cale: We are similar. You are now my son.
Cale: I just wanna be a slacker. Now give me cookies and money.
Raon: Yes, we're gonna live happily ever after with your cookies and money.
#weird brain stuff#halp#tcf#totcf#lcf#tcf reread#cale henituse#kim rok soo#raon miru#alberu crossman#duke fredo von ellejan#white radish#slacker life fading in the background#let the poor boy rest and enjoy
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Last thing for the day!
Threadville fanart!
I love him, he's so silly
Color picking is hard though, there's no 2D of the characters yet so it's hard to get their colors down!
The game's not out on roblox yet, but i am eagerly waiting! >:3
#threadville#threadville oliver#tv#tv oliver#threadville fanart#roblox#my art#:3#if anyone calls him Wally i will come through the screen and shake them-#i can see the similarity of him being a puppet with downturned eyes and blue hair but the physical similarities kinda stop there tbh#leave the poor man be-#he just a farmer#he just a little guy with his radishes
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Every scene in the episode is just so great though can I just appreciate this scene. It like they have a mini picnic & for once they can relax & have fun for just a moment in middle of all chaos. 🥹
#kingohger#ohsama sentai kingohger#I don't think there is an scene where all of them sat together to have a meal so thankful for this#I swear Jeramie look as if he hasn't eaten forever the way he eat the onigiri & savour the drink#Masashi probably enjoying doing this scene too much though I think he definitely avoided the pickled radish#Gira & Rita just keep eating while Sebastian is performing#even though everyone eating so rowdy Himeno still so graceful#even eating they still need to fight with each other lol#poor suzume the king won't listen to anyone#ko49
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Since it's radishes season and everyone's getting way too many radish bundles in their food saviour crates and foodbank boxes and smuggled into their shopping cards by harried supermarket employees tasked with getting rid of all! these! radishes! here's what we're going to do: We're going to go home and immediately cut off the greens as close to the radishes as we can, and we're going to sort and wash them thoroughly, and then we'll cut up a few cloves of garlic and put all that in a food blender and add olive oil and salt and maybe a handful of whatever nuts and fresh herbs we have at hand and a dash of lemon and a bit of zest, too, and blitz that up, and put that in a jar, and put that in our fridge, and live in the knowledge that we have delicious home-made pesto for the next two weeks.
And maybe we'll even mix it up with equal parts yogurt for a dip, or put it on the radishes and have ourself a little salad, or eat it on baguette, or a swanky sandwich, or just on noodles.
#I know tumblr goes wild for these and also why! are there always! radishes!#my poor food saviour upline has so many fucking radishes in her flat I feel bad for her
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My poor littlest toe is still really sick so I am voluntarily debasing myself and wearing crocs to training at my job tomorrow because walking is okay but socks and shoes are still causing pain.
I am wearing crocs. To work. I already asked my work senior out of courtesy and she said it was okay, but good lord, the things this job makes me do...
#first my toe was a radish and then it was a grape and now it's an olive#this refers both to colourS as well as abscess size#it didnt drain very well and i think i need to go back to the doctors#antibiotic course completes on wednesday but im over halfway done now and it's still barely healed#paronychia#my poor littlest toe
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stumbled across the tiktok term "ingredients household" the other day. everything coming from that app makes me go insane. food is ingredients is ingredients is food the fuck do you mean. and i did look it up dont try to explain it i looked it up alr chill. im just venting here bc i think its stupid, nonsensical, and basically just means low/minimally processed so like. how are you gonna look at for example what i packed for lunch today and not see food in front of your fucking eyes. idk. yall are too much. whats actually not a real food is these "snacks" made in some factory providing you all the nutritional value of sand off the beach.
#ik im being unreasonably antagonistic about this but it is howyousay my tumblr blog so thats a bit moot#and actually common misconception: its cheap asf to buy vegetables#i got a gigantic heap of vegetables from walmart (im a walmart shopper now ik ik im poor af work w me here damn) for under $50#these highly processed foods that will have you feeling like assssss however. are like $5+/box/bag/whatever#are they more convenient? maybe. but fr doesn't have to be. like its an apple bro just eat it. i stg youll be okay.#next week well ease u into munching an entire head of broccoli away. chapter 3 is radishes. and so on#these are all snacks in and of themselves.....#< last tag sums it all up basically if u wanna skip past me losing my cool over tiktokker word-choice and then advance to nitpick my#imagination of others eating/grocery habits
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aaaaand immediately after writing that fic, now i wanna write another drunk junior fic 😭
#except LSZ gets drunk this time but he holds his liquor better than everyone#and ends up having to babysit even when he’s drunk LOL#poor radish can’t catch a break#apple babble 🍎#fic musings#either yunmeng or gusu setting would be great actually bc there’s the chance of them getting caught#tho I feel like getting caught by JC would be scarier since LWJ really just does not give a fuck 😭
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the house i grew up in was a little bit of a fixer upper. for the first 19 years, my dad just sort of slowly fixed it, but pretty early on in college, he came into a large amount of cash and decided to just do the whole thing at once. so he rented a different house for like, 2 months that was just a block down from us, and then got a bunch of contractors to fix original house ASAP. it was kind of crazy, but it compressed many years of work into like, three months.
the sitting in a new house for three months was actually pretty fun. and i shouldnt really complain at all (staying at home while in college is a sweet deal)
but.
but. my parents are fairly hard of hearing, and their bedroom in the old house was in the furthest possible annex from everyone else. wheras in the rental it was just in the middle of the house. so without going into details, i was extremely aware that my parents were having sex like, eight times a day. my dad had just retired and i guess they were celebrating, which is great i guess, having parents that really like each other is way better than the alternative, but also, it did make me envy their deafness. i kept headphones on for so long that year i got literal ear calluses.
at the same time, the house my buddy from the shoe incident grew up in flooded. turbo flooded. they burst like, two pipes at once and the damage was so severe they had to redo all the flooring and all the drywall. his family actually had homeowners insurance, which is either incredible or suspicious for a family that used the drained pool in their backyard to store rusty scrap metal. so insurance was handling the work, but in the meantime, they were crammed into a very small hotel room space. we did the math on it then, it averaged about 80 square feet a person.
so one day i got home, and i was chilling, and then six rolled around, and apparently six o'clock was sex o'clock because my parents decided to flex their cardio. i grabbed my headphones and prayed that god would do for me what he did for beethoven, but that failed to work, and then seven rolled around and my parents were still at it, which again, very impressive, but was pushing me to swap out judas for mozart in those prayers. there's a definitive point where you stop praying to be deaf and instead pray that god could take you to a nice field and pop you like a gore-balloon.
i was about five minutes away from that point when my friend called me and basically said i have been stuck in a 500 square foot space with 6 people and i didn't have many marbles to start but what few i had are gone. please. if we are friends, if we were ever friends, take me out of here just for a moment.
and i was still pretty mad at him, but i had pity on the poor guy. also helped that i was desperate to leave the house. so i drove the chickenshitmobile to the hotel and i picked him up, and then we did our normal hangout activity, which was go to food city and buy produce. his normal house was, on a good day, nasty, and his backyard was, as i stated before, mostly used to store mosquito larvae and rusty metal, so what we'd always done before was just walk to the grocery store a half block away and leer at vegetables.
so we did that and it was like old times again. they had some radishes that were expired, so i could buy like, literally an entire grocery bag of them for about $5. so i did. i really like radishes. he got a coconut because he liked fruit and beating things with hammers.
which probably would've been great except we didn't have a hammer, so instead we spent about 30 minutes stomping itike it owed us money. when it finally cracked we cheered like we just got the winning touchball at the superdome and then he ate some of the flesh, and i ate some of the radishes, and we admired the black, starless sky of the city before i took him back to his hotel room.
and then we got pulled over.
i forgot to turn my lights on because the street all around the food city was ludicrously well lit. so it went from being pretty bright, to pretty bright and flashy, then i pulled into a parking lot and a cop came to ask us for IDs which is where everything went to shit:
i’d forgotten my license at home.
the cop was was actually kind of chill about it - he said he could get by with just an address. except i did not know my address. i hadn't memorized the new one yet. so i told the cop, my house is getting remodeled, i don't know my address right now. and then he went to my friend, and my friend said the exact same thing. house getting remodeled, staying somewhere else, no address, sowwwwwwy.
now the cop genuinely didn't know what to do. he went back to his car, and i was stressed that i was about to get into HUGE trouble so i started eating the radishes and my buddy started eating more of his coconut, and we actually managed to eat like a quarter of both before the cop came back. we ate enough produce that he could smell something weird in the air, and he asked what the smell was, and i said radishes, and my buddy said coconut, and the cop said which, and then we produced a large bag of droopy radishes and an absolutely brutalized coconut, and the cop was just like
so my buddy tried explaining how he was sharing a 500 square foot apartment with 6 people and wanted a fruit he could fight with power tools, and i tried explaining how i'd actually tried buying my parents like, board games and puzzles and stuff but nothing worked - the only thing my parents seemed to like doing right now was each other, and we both went on long enough and pathetically enough that the cop eventually went:
ok. stop.
and we stopped.
and he said do you know why i pulled you over?
and i said, because of my headlights, and my friend (who is hispanic) and the cop both looked at me like like i was the dumbest person in the entire world. and then the cop said no. that's why i'm allowed to pull you over. i checked your car because this neighborhood has a terrible sex trafficking problem, and i pull over every car i can to make sure no one is buying or selling sex. and you two are obviously doing neither. now i could give you, like, four tickets right now, but that would do nothing to make this area safer, so just turn your lights on, go home, drive safe, and try to be less stupid in the future.
and i said okay but i was thinking, you know, damn, this is just how i live man, i don't have a hidden third gear i can shift into. people can't just get smarter because it would be convenient. it's always convenient to be smart. i am literally trying my best.
but i didn't say anything because i was, slowly, learning how to filter what i said. instead i nodded and the cop left then i dropped my buddy off, and the last thing he said was said he owed me for responding to his SOS. I said he owed me for a lot of things, and he agreed that was true. then i drove home with my lights on, 5 under the speed limit, and arrived to a peaceful quiet home. I could’ve wept with relief but instead I went to bed.
the relief was short lived. i was woken up at 6 am by my parents. i swore, and then i prayed, and when i did not explode, i swore again. then i got up to make breakfast before my first class.
#babylon-lore#anecdotes#funny stories#the second dumbest traffic stop of my life#the first happened on a date with my wife#and it's a pretty good story#i#ll get around to that one eventually#like its not shoe story good but it's a funny little incident
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Halour, I'm kinda curious... What crimes have Cale done, exactly? I see a number of "crime list" videos about him but the wiki don't really confirm anything💀
— 🌄
...The Time Has Come. 😌
I have long promised this list, so perfect timing! Thank you very much for this question! Allow me to introduce you to:
Cale Henituse's Crime List
(Just for the fun of it, I tried to give a different example for every single one of these. Some events repeat, but not the crimes!)
1) Accessibility of Records for Tax Department
Cale looted significant amounts of money from the Magic Tower and many other places, without leaving any legal trace.
2) Affray
Multiple occasions, like pretty much everything that happened in the Molden Kingdom.
3) Aggravated Assault
Cale rarely gets physically involved in a fight, but I think suddenly strangling Prince Adin qualifies.
4) Aggravated Burglary
Every single time "Real Arm" is in business.
5) Allowing Dog or Cat To Be a Nuisance
How else would you call encouraging your animal shape-shifting kids to be involved in criminal activity? Also Fluffy the Puppy was under Cale's command even if he technically belonged to Princess Jopis, I say it totally counts.
6) Ammunition – Possessing, Acquiring or Carrying
Cale intentionally pocketed magic bombs from the Plaza Terror Incident and used them later on.
7) Animal Cruelty
...Does Cale subjecting On to his "nice act" in front of Litana counts? Oh it definitely counts. That poor child.
8) Armed Robbery
That time Cale & co. robbed the Mercenary Guilds in Leeb-An City, for instance.
9) Arson
Setting the Wind Island on fire.
10) Assaulting or Resisting Police
That time Cale & co. went to Sez Kingdom. Pretty sure the knights trying to stop them from kidnapping the king counts as "resisting law enforcement".
11) Being Disguised With Unlawful Intent
Priest Cale in a nutshell.
12) Blackmail
That time Cale talked to Antonio Gyerre.
13) Breaking and Entering
Cale coming to the Sekka Estate.
14) Careless Driving
Debatable since a fantasy world doesn't own cars – but. I count Cale breaking through walls of a maze on a mother-effing Stone Imugi as "irresponsible driving". Just think of what kind of example you're setting for the kids, Cale!
15) Carrying a Loaded Firearm in Public
Cale has Raon following him everywhere, so.....?
16) Carrying Out Plumbing Work Without License or Registration
Cale has an underground villa in the Forest of Darkness. I'm pretty sure whatever construction work they did there would count as illegal.
17) Carrying Out Work Without a Building Permit
Cale had Dragons teleport an entire castle into the Forest of Darkness. Yet again, involves a building with no legal paperwork.
18) Causing Injury Intentionally
Obviously. Like making fiery lightning bolt strike in the middle of an Elf Village attack. Or hitting a radish with a rock.
19) Collecting or Making Documents Likely to Facilitate Terrorist Acts
Everything involving Knight Rex after he became a terrorist.
20) Conspiracy
Cale and Alberu talking about anything.
21) Control of Body Armor
After reading it up, I decided that mana disruption device ABSOLUTELY falls into this category.
22) Control and Use of Dangerous Articles
Cale adopting pretty much everyone on his team.
23) Corrupting Benefits Received By Commonwealth Public Official
Cale using Alberu's golden plaque to trap the White Star with Embrace. I mean, if being infected with that clown doesn't count as corruption, I don't know what does.
24) Cultivation of Narcotic Plants
Cale letting Hong eat plants in the Forest of Darkness. It IS, in his own words, his own backyard.
25) Dangerous Non-Guard Dog Attacks or Bites a Person or Animal with Person in Control
Cale letting Choi Han beat up Adin. ...Well, Choi Han COULD be counted as a Guard Dog, but. They never formalized the paperwork? I say it counts since Choi Han isn't legally registered!
26) Dealing With Property Suspected of Being Proceeds of Crime
Cale renting a house from Odeus Flynn.
27) Dealing With Property Which Subsequently Becomes an Instrument of Crime
Cale buying the Magic Tower before he proceeds to kidnap Mueller.
28) Delaying the Entry of Police
Cale not letting the law enforcement know about the Plaza Terror Incident beforehand. Also, activating the mana disruption device, knowing it would hinder their efforts to stop terrorism. ...Yes Cale & co. prevented said terrorism better on their own but it still counts.
29) Deliberately Omitting Information
Cale making an Vow of Death to Choi Han claiming that he can't tell him anything.
30) Destroying, Damaging and/or Interfering with Any Works of a Water Corporation
Setting the Lake of God's Tears on fire.
31) Destroying or Damaging Property
Cale destroying houses in the Gyerre territory.
32) Destruction of Evidence
Cale and Raon blowing up Hais Island 5 to cover up Ron's infiltration.
33) Directing the Activities of a Terrorist Organization
Cale's entire career in a nutshell, really.
34) Discharge Missile to Endanger Person or Property
Cale blowing up the whirlpools in the Ubarr territory.
35) Dishonestly Cause a Loss
Cale tricking the White Star into the abandoned underground city.
36) Disturbing Religious Worship
Cale messing with the Sun God's Church for being mean to Mary.
37) Driving an Unregistered Vehicle
Cale & co. using Mary's bone Dragon.
38) Drunkards Behaving in Riotous or Disorderly Manner
Cale pretending to be drunk in the Gyerre territory.
39) Endangering Safety of Aircraft
Cale letting his allies abroad an airship during the Jungle battle.
40) Entering a Place Without Authority or Lawful Excuse
Cale rescuing Raon.
41) Extortion With Threats to Destroy Property
Cale threatening the slave traffickers in the Gyerre territory.
42) Failure to Notify the Authorities of Criminal Activity
Cale doesn't notify Alberu of crap, unless it's to make him clean-up the aftermath.
43) Failure to Register a Pet
Pretty sure Cale registered exactly none of his allies. ...Except maybe the Tiger Tribe that one time they moved into Harris Village with Deruth's permission. Everyone else? Not a chance.
44) Falsifying or Concealing Identity
Cale acting as Naru von Ejellan in Endable Kingdom.
45) Forgery of Documents
Cale and Taylor faking an ancient document to fool the White Star.
46) Fraud
Cale promising Plavin Singten benefits for siding with the new Sun Church.
47) Getting Funds To, From, or For a Terrorist Organization
Cale sponsoring his allies, like giving Rosalyn magic stones.
48) Going Equipped for Stealing
Cale making Real Arm uniform.
49) Handling Stolen Goods
Cale using Divine Items.
50) Identity Theft
Cale introducing himself as Bob.
51) Indecent Assault
Cale telling Choi Han to strip that one time. (Yes, it actually happened. ...Not the way shippers wished for, obviously.)
52) Inducement to Be Appointed Liquidator
Cale helping Princess Jopis overthrow her sister on the condition of benefits for the Roan Kingdom.
53) Insider Trading
Cale selling Alberu dead mana from a Dragon.
54) Intentionally or Recklessly Causing a Bushfire
Cale setting that bush monster on fire in Xiaolen.
55) Introduction of a Drug of Dependence Into the Body of Another Person
Cale letting Rosalyn drink coffee on Earth 3.
56) Kidnapping
Cale & co. capturing Venion Stan.
57) Leaving Children Without Supervision
Cale letting the kids look for Mueller.
58) Lighting of Fires in the Open Air
Cale using Fire of Destruction against Sky Attribute.
59) Loitering Near Schools
Cale & the kittens in the Sez Kingdom.
60) Loitering With Intent to Commit an Indictable Offence
Cale letting Clopeh Sekka spot him that first time.
61) Manslaughter
Cale letting Choi Han, Rosalyn and Lock go and destroy the Archduke's Estate.
62) Membership of a Terrorist Organization
Cale making up Real Arm.
63) Murder
Cale killing the White Star.
64) Negligent Manslaughter
Cale letting Ron go on a vacation.
65) Non-dangerous Dog Attacks
Cale letting Choi Han spar with Hilsman.
66) Obtaining Property By Deception
Litana giving Cale free stuff.
67) Offences Connected With Explosive Substances
Cale commissioning Eruhaben to create Dragon's Rage.
68) Other Acts Done in Preparation for, or Planning, Terrorist Acts
Every morning Cale drinks lemon tea.
69) Possessing More Fish Than the Catch Limit
Cale dealing with Whales. ...Whales are fish, what are you talking about?
70) Possessing Controlled Weapon, Housebreaking Implements, and Things Connected With Terrorist Attacks
Everything Cale owns in the Super Rock Villa.
71) Possession of Precursor Chemicals
Cale making Billos buy alchemy ingredients.
72) Prohibited Weapons
Cale utilizing the Dragon Bones in battle.
73) Providing or Receiving Training Connected With Terrorist Acts
Cale letting his people train in his backyard.
74) Public Nuisance
Cale letting Choi Han act.
75) Reckless Conduct Endangering Life and/or Endangering Serious Injury
Cale every time he uses his Ancient Powers.
76) Recruiting for a Terrorist Organization
Cale adopting the Tiger Tribe.
77) Robbery
Stealing magic stones from the Alchemy Towers.
78) Sabotage
Cale going behind the Empire's back while he helps out the Whipper Kingdom.
79) Setting Traps to Kill
Cale Ghost Operation during the sea battle against the Indomitable Alliance.
80) Smuggling
Cale helping Cage and Taylor into capital.
81) Stalking
Cale entering Alberu's bedroom whenever he wants.
82) Stating False Name When Requested
Cale never letting anyone know about the transmigration and calling himself Cale Henituse.
83) Tax Evasion
Willful tax evasion for sudden wealth increase.
84) Terrorist Acts
Cale & co. detonating a bomb at Maple Castle.
85) Theft
Cale obtaining the blood drinking crown.
86) Threats to Inflict Serious Injury
Cale & co. threatening King Bakehe.
87) Threats to Kill
Cale cheerfully informing Adin he's going to personally kill him.
88) Torture and Interrogation
Cale ordering Beacrox to deal with the Magic Spearman.
89) Unauthorized Access to Restricted Data
Cale & co. coming to the Directory. ...Yes Bud was the Mercenary King so technically it was legal, except from the Mercenary Guild's perspective, it was break and entering.
80) Unlawful Assembly
Cale hanging out with Dragons.
81) Unlawful Oaths to Commit Treason
Cale promising to destroy the Alchemy Belltower to Rei Stecker.
82) Unlicensed Driving
Cale riding Dark Tiger Alberu.
83) Willful Damage
Cale employing Archie to destroy Duke Sekka's statues.
Any other crimes I forgot to list? Let me know!
***
BONUS CONTENT
With the help of others, we've expanded the original list of Cale's crimes!
84) Aiding and Hiding Fugitives
Cale helping out Hannah and Jack.
85) Aircraft Hijacking
Cale & co. taking over the Empire's airships.
86) Being an Accessory to Crimes
All Cale's deals with Billos in a nutshell.
87) Child Labor Law Violation
Cale making children work for their meals. Even if he's actually just adopting strays under the guise of formal work, said formal work is still illegal. Just admit you care, you weirdo.
88) Defamation
Cale spreading recordings of Adin being evil acros the Empire.
89) Deliberate Damage and/or Destruction of Currency
Cale happily throwing coins into lava.
90) Ecoterrorism
Wiping whole islands off the map counts as severe destruction of the environment.
91) Fly-tipping/Littering
Cale casually defenestrating Adin. Watch where you throw garbage, Cale. There are trash bins for a reason!
92) Harassment
Cale ordering Beacrox to beat up mountain bandits.
93) Illegal Detention/Imprisonment
Capturing prisoners of war, like the Dragon Half-Blood or the Flame Dwarves.
94) Illegal Goods Trade
Cale selling and buying items at the Caro Kingdom Auction.
95) Impersonation
Cale pretending to be different people in the Indignity Test.
96) Intentional Destruction of Cultural Heritage
Cale setting the Lake of God's Tears on Fire. Also, blowing up the Magic Tower.
97) Plunder of Public Property
Cale & co. destroying the walls of the capital of the Empire.
98) Trafficking Endangered Plants Accross Borders
Cale transporting the Fake World Tree in his badge.
99) Treason of the Crown
Cale treating his Hyung-nim with utter disrespect, such as comparing the Shining Sun of the Kingdom to a squirrel.
100) Trespassing
Cale in Endable Kingdom.
BONUS BONUS CONTENT
Not technically illegal, but:
101) Crime Against One's Well-Being
Cale abusing his health in such horrific ways even a regeneration power cannot keep up with him.
102) Crime Against Fashion
Cale preferring only black and plain clothes when he could look good in anything.
103) Crime of Self-Delusion
Cale thinking he still has a chance at slacker life.
104) Spreading Misinformation
Cale's track record of causing misunderstandings everywhere he goes is frankly terrifying.
105) THAT FACE
Cale's fabulous looks are a crime in of itself. It deserves a spot on the list.
#tcf#trash of the count's family#lcf#lout of count's family#tcf humor#cale henituse#cale#tcf cale#cale's criminal record#q&a#replies
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Fallin'
18+ ONLY - MDNI.
(Formerly Good Graces)
Please note: The images used above do not reflect readers skin colour or her description. You are the main character in this fic.
Joel Miller X Afab!Reader
Set Pre and Post Apocalypse
Summary:
Reader is Joel's neighbour, a mid to late twenties pastry chef, who finds herself running on fumes. You're married to your high-school sweetheart Matt and for the longest time you were happy.
The loss of his job a few months prior changed him and before you knew it, the man you'd married didn't exist anymore. Replaced by a volatile stranger, it was him, but it wasn't him.
Joel Miller finds himself at the centre of it all and when the world ends, the trouble for him, doesn't end with it.
Warnings/Tags for this fic: Verbal abuse, Porn mentioned, Angst, Language, Alcohol abuse, Death, Canon Typical Violence, Original Characters, Smut, PIV Sex (Unprotected, wrap it before you tap it), Fingering, Oral (M&F receiving), Pregnancy scare, Angst, Cheating (readers husband is a dick tho).No use of y/n. No physical descriptions of reader, no height, weight, skin colour, eye colour, no mention of hair type, length or colour. Reader has a vagina and breasts. Pussy pronouns used. Terrible knowledge of various American states - I'm British and relying on Google maps haha. It would also explain why you'll see things spelled differently such as, 'Neighbour'. Use of pet names e.g : Sweetheart, Darlin, sweetpea etc.
Warnings for this chapter: Swearing, alcohol mentioned, Verbal abuse. Probably poor proof reading so my apologies if I make a mistake somewhere.
Tagging my mutuals, if you'd rather I didn't please lmk <3
@almostempty (this is me grovelling for forgiveness bc I know you've already read part of this 🥲) @cheekychaos28 @itwasntimethatdidit40 @lovely-vamp-princess @morallyinept
The Fic is named after this absolute tune of a song
I'll stop yappin' now. This is a rewrite so thoughts welcome <3
Word Count: 4.2k
Next Chapter
Chapter One - Sometimes I love you, sometimes you make me blue.
April 12th 2003.
It's truly has been hell today. Lunch service was a fucking nightmare, the chefs all seemed to be in a shit mood as it was, so when the front of house started sending through order after order, the ticket machine working overtime to print them, you absolutely knew you were going to be hearing that thing in your sleep for days now. It could only get worse from there and it did. Despite being a pastry chef they'd asked you to jump on the line to help, which usually you wouldn't mind, but today the dessert orders were coming through thick and fast aswell, but hey, you're a people pleaser so you tried to do both and how'd that work out for you? Terribly that's how.
You misread tickets. "Hey table 8 asked for no radishes! Get your shit together over there!". You over cooked the cake you had in the oven, finding it dense and dry when you finally got off the line.
There was so much more as well, but it had all become a stressful blur, going into what you like to call 'Survival mode' for the rest of your shift.
You were just having a bad day. That was the mantra that was going around and around in your head.
///
By the time you get out of work at 7 and start to drive home, you're exhausted and tense, gripping the steering wheel so tight on the way home your knuckles turn white. Not even listening to your favourite CD is helping.
Alicia Keys soulful voice still fills the car. By now you'd be singing along unrestrained, belting out the lyrics to Fallin' but right now it may as well all be white noise to you.
Why? Because you know what you're going home to. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch the glint of the gold wedding band sitting on your ring finger as a constant reminder that you're not about to go home to an empty, quiet house. You won't just be able to slip into a hot bath and self medicate with that unopened bottle of wine in the fridge. But, oh how you wish you could.
Matt. You were married right out of high school, he was your first everything and you couldn't see yourself wanting to spend the rest of your life without him. These days though.
You always knew marriage wouldn't be plain sailing but you were only prepared for the obvious things like how to keep your marriage alive, how to adjust to becoming parents someday, what you would do if one of you ever got sick. But when he'd lost his job a few months back, nothing could have possibly prepared you for the dramatic shift that would come with it. The drinking, the way he spoke to you now, like you were a piece of shit on the bottom of his shoe.
You didn't recognise this man. He wasn't your Matty anymore.
///
It's about 7.45 by the time you pull up onto the driveway, the cul de-sac is quiet, save for a few kids riding their bikes up and down the street, it's almost dark but the street lamps provide enough light and you weren't a parent so who were you to judge? The street is a pretty safe one, away from the busier main roads that lead into the city anyway.
Killing the engine, a heavy sigh leaves you as the car falls into silence. A quick glance in the mirror shows the bags under your eyes and your hair flat on your head from being under your skullcap all day. You could just stay in the car a little longer, but honestly? That's just delaying the inevitable.
As you get out, there's a squeek of bike tyres behind you and a soft voice calling out your name, formally of course, she's clearly been raised to 'respect her elders' it's sweet the way you've seen her interact with the Adlers across the street, Sarah's a good kid. You almost don't hear her in your daze but on the third time just as she's about to speak again "Mrs--".
You spin around to face her, plastering a smile on your face, dead on your feet from working a 10 hour shift but the idea of going inside and facing Matt after a day like today isn't a prospect you're keen on anyway. "Oh hey Sarah, sorry I'm just in a world of my own tonight!"
Sarah's a bright kid, she had to grow up quickly in a way after her mom left, she's seen her dad on his worst days, adopting a sixth sense on how to know when somethings wrong, but she also knows when it's best not to pry too much, even if right now 'Is everything okay?' is on the tip of her tongue, she won't ask.
"Thats okay, my dad spaces out too sometimes after a long day" It's a relief to you honestly, the last thing you want is to try and explain all your adult problems to a twelve year old, you couldn't even if you tried. "I've been meaning to say thank you for giving me that brownie recipe, Uncle Tommy loved them, said I should be a baker when I'm older" She beams proudly, soft brown eyes crinkling at the corners.
It's almost impossible not to smile back, your own lips turning upwards into a warm smile, a genuine one for the first time today. "Well you're very welcome and hey, I could always use an extra set of-"
You're interrupted by your own front door swinging open, Matt stepping out onto the porch, hands on hips as he barks your name. Your smile vanishing just as quickly as it had appeared.
Something Sarah doesn't fail to notice.
"The hell are you still doing out here? I heard you pull up nearly 20 minutes ago." He's exaggerating, it's barely any time at all, but this is what he does. It's what manipulation does to a person.
He notices Sarah over your shoulder and his tone immediately changes, like a chameleon changing colours to blend in with its surroundings. It makes your skin crawl because you know him, the real him. The subtle swaying suggests he's been drinking already, for how long though? You don't know. What you do know is that the second you step foot inside, that's when he'll drop the facade. The look in his icy blue eyes tells you enough to know that. You'd wonder what you've done to upset him this time, but it would be pointless.
"Oh hey Sarah, sorry didn't see ya there!" He calls out to her in an overly sweet tone with a raise of his hand, Sarah gives him a small barely there smile in return.
"That's okay, I'd better get going anyway, my dad doesn't like me staying out too long after dark. See you around." you turn your head in her direction just as she's about to get back on her bike and there's an expression you've never seen before from her specifically. Pity. As a child of divorce herself, she knows when something isn't right.
You watch for a moment longer as she rides her bike back across the street.
Joel's slightly beaten pick up truck parked on the driveway gives you a small sense of relief that at least she's not going home to an empty house tonight. He's a contractor, you knew that much from what Sarah had mentioned about him in passing before and for some reason you'd stored away that little nugget of information about him.
You've noticed that sometimes he works late into the night. That 1am 'I need to hydrate now or I'm surely going to wither away' trip to the kitchen has made it so you've witnessed his late home arrivals through the kitchen window many times, practically dragging himself out of the cab, ready to collapse into an exhausted heap.
You had to admire that though, doing it all by himself. Sometimes you think about going it alone too, more so these days.
A stern call of your name behind you snaps you out of your thoughts and back to reality. Matt.
"I'm coming." Even if he clocked the resignation in your voice, he wouldnt care anyway. You follow him inside the house and the day you just wanted to end, wouldn't be over yet.
///
As Sarah opens the backdoor into the kitchen she registers two things. One, the radio is on, the familiar twang of Johnny Cash filling the kitchen, but the second thing? Snoring. Just over the radio she can hear snoring and it brings a small smirk to her face as she rounds the corner, crouching down to untie her converse and neatly tuck them away on the shoe rack.
"Dad?"
With a jolt, Joel is awake, back aching from falling asleep hunched over the dining table, blueprints for the next big job sticking to his cheek for a second before he prys it off, wiping the back of his sleeve over his mouth, he'd been drooling. Yikes.
Taking a moment to straighten himself out and blink away the fatigue before he responds "Uh... Yeah, in here darlin!"
"You fell asleep didn't you?" It's always embarrassing for him when she catches him like this, knowing that the teasing about how old he is will go on for days now. "It's barely 8pm and you're falling asleep at the table, sorry dad but I think it's time I start picking up nursing home brochures!"
"I'm only thirty-five, you little shit." it's a reply full of mirth, she's the light of his life and she knows it. He rubs a hand over his tired face, realising he needs to shave soon as the stubble scratches across his skin. "How was your bike ride? The gears still sticking at all? I can take a look again if you need me to."
"Nah, s'okay now thanks." The fidget of Sarah's hands and the twist of her lips as she sits down at the across the table tells him somethings wrong.
"Sweetpea? Everythin' okay over there?" he can't help the way his dark eyes fill with concern as he looks at his baby girl, wondering if the neighbour kids were assholes to her, or if something happened at school today, something is playing on her mind.
"Well, yes and no. I'm okay personally but-- You know the lady across the street? She gave me the recipe for those brownies Uncle Tommy loved?" Her tone makes him wonder where she's going with this, nodding his head once, prompting her to continue.
"I- I think somethings wrong with her, dad. I was talking to her outside her house just now and everything was fine until her husband came out and- I don't know, I saw the look on her face and I heard the way he spoke to her when he thought I wasn't there and the way he switched up when he realised I was. Something didn't feel right."
///
Little did Joel Miller know, this would be where his trouble would all start.
///
It had been a couple of weeks since that night at the dining table when Sarah told him about the neighbour. Joel had tried not to get involved, he really had. But what Sarah had told him just keeps playing over and over in his mind.
"Darlin' no ones marriage is perfect, they're probably goin' through some shit right now, pretty sure her husband lost his job a few months back, hardly ever see him leave the house these days" he'd told her with a sigh. Joel did notice these things, the cul de-sac was small and from what he knew about the couple across the street, which was very little at this point, was that she was a pastry chef and he worked in IT. His car was hardly ever on the driveway before, now? It barely moves.
"No dad... You didn't hear the way he spoke to her, you didn't see her face when he came out, it was like someone flipped a switch. She looked so--" There's a pause as she tries to find the right word. "Dejected".
///
April 29th, 2003.
It's early in the morning when you're sitting at the breakfast bar in the kitchen, pounding head propped up in your hand as you're going through the overdue bills spread out across it, unable to sleep thinking about everything. These days that's literal. The clock on the stove reads 5.25am.
The big red lettering seems to deepen the splitting headache, feeling like someone's taking an axe to your head right now. 'OVERDUE - DO NOT IGNORE.'
Hard to ignore that. Not that you're trying, but right now you're doing the math to try and work out what you can cut back on to be able to pay these things off and at every turn you're always short for something. Maybe you can pick up some extra shifts at the restaurant... Or become a part time stripper, they make good money, right?
A heavy sigh leaves you as you scrub a hand down your face, picking up the steaming cup of herbal tea next to you, lifting it to your lips. "You'd better solve all my problems" you're pretty sure you're going insane mumbling that to an inanimate object but seeing the words 'Stress relieving' on the box in the supermarket, may have given you false hope.
It's not until a couple of hours later that you realise how long you've been sat at the counter for, hearing heavy footsteps descending the creaky wooden stairs, another thing that needs to be fixed, more money you don't have right now.
Immediately you feel yourself tense up, he's up early today, you think to yourself. These days you never really see Matt before 11am. Not since he was laid off a few months back, the company was downsizing, moving out of Texas altogether infact, so his only choices were to either take severance or travel out of state for work, something that even with his salary and yours, it wouldn't have been affordable.
He took the first option. The severance pay hadn't lasted long at all, you'd lived a comfortable life before that but the second you knew he was losing his job you did the responsible thing and gave up the things that weren't necessary. Gym membership, jogging was free anyway. The once a month manicure, it didn't cost a lot but you could live without it. You started grocery shopping at a cheaper supermarket and found that actually you were being ripped off the whole time before anyway, everything was great quality and budget friendly, silver linings and all that.
And then there was your morning coffee, from your favourite little family run coffee place just around the corner from work. You missed it and the warm greetings you'd get going in there, they knew you by name and now? Ugh.
The shitty instant coffee at work just wasn't the same but at least it was free.
But it's what you have to do, right? As a responsible adult.
Well, try telling that to your husband. Despite him being the one who's lost his job, he's not sacrificed much. The cigarettes, but you tell yourself that's justifiable, they help with stress relief. He still goes out to the bar once a week to meet up with his old high school buddies, they clearly didn't know how far his drinking habit has gone, or maybe they did and they were encouraging it. You hoped not.
Most recently he's taken up another hobby, one you're not particularly fond of in all honesty but of course, you can't say anything. Mail order porn.
You have nothing against porn, it's part of most people's sex lives and these days it's natural with the rise of the Internet, there are websites for these things now which is actually kind of crazy to think about. When you were a teenager, there was one particular channel on the family TV that if you angled the ariel just right you were pretty sure you could see tits. Or maybe that was an ass? It was too fuzzy to tell.
Still, seeing that charge on the credit card statement was a shocker. You went over old statements to make sure you weren't imagining things and nope, you weren't, it was a new charge, a new subscription. $49.99 a month for mail order porn, a website called 'Bangforyourbuck.com'. A double innuendo, tasteful.
That kind of pissed you off, yes he'd been the one to lose his job and yes he was stressed but you were stressed too. You're the one keeping everything afloat these days, paying all the bills on one Salary, cutting back on things. Meanwhile he's adding to both your stress and the monthly outgoings. The thought of saying anything about it though? That would be like offering yourself up to a firing squad.
And god forbid one of you gets sick now, he was the one with the good insurance. That's long gone.
A gruff "Hey" pulls you out of your thoughts as he rounds the corner and you force a smile.
"Morning sweetie. You're up early" You find yourself watching your tone a lot these days, constantly walking on eggshells. Even what you just said 'You're up early' you made sure you didn't say it in a way that sounded too surprised to see him this side of the morning, incase he took offence.
He yanks open the refrigerator and grabs a carton of orange juice from the door, twisting the cap off before he takes a large gulp straight from the source. You hate that, oh my god you hate that so much. You want to yell 'Get a fucking glass!' but you don't, you can't.
"Yeah. I've got a thing today" very cryptic. When does he ever have a 'thing' these days? "What are you doing?" he asks as he comes to stand behind you, peering over your shoulder at the overdue bills, just looming there. Gone are the days when this would have sent a little thrill up your spine at the prospect of being bent over the same counter for a quickie before you both part ways and go to work with matching smiles on your faces. Now it just makes you go cold, waiting for the next thing to set him off.
"I couldn't sleep so, just trying to figure out where we can cut back a little. I uh. I was thinking, actually-"
"Were you? That's rare." First jab of the day, you know it's meant as an insult, there's no banter behind it.
"Uh yeah. Actually. W-what about if...Since you don't need your car right now for work we sell it and you can borrow mi--"
"Are you fucking insane?" Here we go. He takes a small step back from you, enough for you to turn in your seat to face him, shoulders slumped, eyes cast down into your lap, like a child about to be scolded. "No, no fucking way are we selling my car, I wouldn't be seen dead in that shit heap you drive around. Besides, I'll need it soon anyway, I've got a job interview today, that's why I'm up, gotta get into the city for 9.30. Gotta make a good impression, wouldn't do that if I showed up in what you drive"
"That's great honey..." You muster up false enthusiasm from somewhere, plastering a sweet smile on your face as you look at him, the man you were so in love with once, you fell in love with everything about him, you loved to run your fingers through his hair, you loved the way it curled when it was damp, you loved how lost in his icy blue you could get and how dark they could go when the two of you would be intimate. Now? Nothing.
There's nothing as you look at him, a few short months changed the way you saw him. He wasn't like this before, you could have missed some sighs maybe? No, you're pretty sure he was perfect. Wasn't he? He only drank socially before, now he needs no excuse for it.
"Yeah it is, as for this?" He gestures to the bills on the counter behind you. "Figure it the fuck out, that's your job. Use a fucking calculator if your dumbass can't work it out." You hate the way your eyes mist up and you know he sees it, he just doesn't care. "I need to go shower and get ready" He mumbles, stalking back out of the kitchen, leaving you alone, silently crying as you turn back to face the bills, big red letter staring back at you. 'OVERDUE - DO NOT IGNORE.'
///
Standing on the driveway a little before 9am, you're waving him off as he's pulling away to go to his interview. God you hope he gets it, for multiple reasons.
As you're watching his car disappear around the corner, your neighbour across the street is rounding it in his truck, probably back from taking his daughter to school.
You never see any women coming and going surprisingly, Joel is a handsome guy, you might be married but you're not blind, after all. You thought he'd at least be dating, but maybe he's too busy for it, being a single dad, doing the work he does with all the long hours. Still, he seems like a nice guy, but you thought your husband was a nice guy too, so maybe you're just a shitty judge of character these days.
It's not until he's getting out of his truck that you realise you're day dreaming again, snapping yourself out of it, about to head back inside when-
"Mornin'." He calls from across the street and you almost think he's talking to someone else but when he says your name and starts to cross the street? Oh, he is talking to you. This is new.
"Uh hi? How's things?" Be less awkward, Matts not here, he won't see you out here talking to him. You know he doesn't like Joel, you're pretty sure it's a petty male jealousy thing. Matt is good looking of course, you thought he was the hottest man on the planet at one point. But Joel's taller, he's got that dark and brooding thing going on, he works with his hands, he's a little older than you but it seems like he's reaching that mid thirties sweetspot. Oh my god stop mentally ogling the neighbour. Christ it's been a while since you got laid hasnt it?
He stops at your mailbox, resting his palm flat against it, dressed in dusty work boots, dark washed denim jeans that fit just right, a navy blue and white flannel on with buttons undone and a dark grey tee underneath. "Yeah, yeah things are good. Sarah made those brownies again last week, you know, with the recipe you gave her?" That little grin of his is dangerous, making him more handsome than he already is, but you can't help the way you smile back because of it.
"Oh yeah? And what's the verdict?"
"Like a little slice of heaven. I'd eat that for breakfast, lunch and dinner if she'd let me."
That draws a genuine chuckle from you, he's never heard your laugh before, but honestly? He finds himself wanting to hear it more and he can't even tell if it's for selfish reasons or not.
"So uh" he starts, shifting awkwardly on his feet, wondering how the fuck you're supposed to bring this up? He can't just outright ask if you're having marital problems. He doesn't know you and you don't know him, after all. "Matt is it? That's your husband, right?"
You try to hide the way your expression falls at the mention of his name, a weak smile on your face, but your body language gives it all away, the subtle gulp, the awkward shift of your feet, the way you cross your arms as if it were a barrier over your already broken heart.
"Yeah?"
"You and Matt. The two of you doing okay?"
"Why wouldn't we be?" You start to get defensive slightly, even if you don't mean to.
"Listen--" he takes a small step closer, holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "I'm not tryin' to stick my nose in where its not wanted but Sarah thought somethin' was off when she saw you a couple weeks ago and Jimmy-" Jimmy Cooper, the guy with the loud ass dog a few doors down from you "-Well he thought he heard yellin' a few nights ago and--"
A scoff leaves you before you can even think about it."So what? We argue, married couples argue. It's normal, it doesn't warrent being gossiped about!" Where is this fire when your husbands talking to you like shit? You know the' argument' in question, it was just him yelling at you for an hour straight because he has misplaced something, you can't even remember what now because your brain was too fried from being at work all day, coming home to your living room basically being tipped upside down as he's on a rampage looking for it. It hadn't even occurred to you until later on that night, after you'd finished putting the living room back together that the window had been open and that perhaps the entire fucking state had heard everything.
"Darlin', Jimmy wasn't gossiping trust me, I don't listen to idle gossip anyways, he was genuinely concerned, I'm genuinely concerned. The things he said he heard--" There's that same look, the one you saw on Sarah's face a few weeks back, pity.
"I'm sorry but I missed the part where my marriage is any of your fucking business" You snap, wondering where the hell this woman is hiding. "Thanks for the 'concern' but I don't need it. Have a good day Joel." You say hotly, turning on your heel to head back inside, the door slamming a little harder than you intended behind you.
"God dammit" Joel mutters, running a hand through his dark waves in exasperation.
And then he clocks it, the trash can on your driveway, separate to general household waste, lid slightly askew. Full to the brim with empty beer bottles.
///
This wasn't going to be something he could just leave alone, was it?
#the last of us hbo#the last of us fic#the last of us#tlou#joel tlou#tlou joel#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller x reader#joel miller#joel miller x you#joel miller x afab!reader#joel miller smut
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My selfish little heart cannot help but be reminded of that time Raon calling Cale a bear for sleeping and rolling around his bed. It's so funny because what if Cale's actually a bear. And he's 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 hibernate too.
Our boy is pretty... Short. Well he's pretty indeed, but also short. And thin. A twink. Anyway he got the voice, the general tone and vibe, which strengthened when he finally reached twenty–let's presume this is the time for bear beastpeople to have their first awakening phase that conversely the same as the time he could first polymorph, so imagine the surprise of his family when he just... Polymorphed. And immediately went on rampage because of course he would.
He may be more delicate-looking because of Jour, it's a good twist if it was Deruth who's a pureblood bear beastperson. So Lily is half-blood, that'll explain their unique tendencies and why Bassen is our perfect logical-and-common sense-oriented sibling among the three.
Whether it would follow the canon events or not, the variable is open for exploration. How interesting when it was time for him to hibernate, and it is different with dragon's growth phase because he would need to do so 𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺. Until he reached, I don't know, whatever you wish to fill in the gap, that he'll eventually managed to control it enough to function like Deruth.
His dream (plea) for a slacker life would just be an indicator of his approaching hibernation at some point. Everyone taking note on his sleeping and eating pattern, because he'd only, and only gained weight when his hibernation is near before losing it completely once he's done.... And continue losing weight as he resume his quest to flip the world upside down.
His meeting with Sayeru would be comical at first. I mean, our 36 years old apocalypse survivor being called a stray cub is surprisingly the most insulting words known to man. Even White Star failed to offended him, poor radish.
It was stated in canon that Bear tribe kinda poor in loyalty, so that's the homework, but twist it enough and he'll merely incapable of being loyal to his (never his in the first place) slacker life lol.
What bear type would he be? Black bear? Grizzly bear? Polar bear? Any other bear?
He is the best bear for his family! He could actually give a bear hug!
#other plot holes is up to you lol#anyway its a funny agenda#also imagine the snuggles! bear is best for snuggles! apparently!#lcf#tcf#trash of the count's family#lout of the count's family#cale henituse#lcf novel#kim rok soo#raon miru#tcf cale#tcf raon#lcf prompt#prompt idea#i dont know if its a functional prompt to begin with but hey#its idea nonetheless#just... no angst pls.... let this be fluff and comfort#the paranoia i have with holy trinity fandom is severe💀
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Wei Wuxian: *crashes out of Jiang Cheng’s guest quarters in a fury* -and that is ANOTHER reason why you NEVER ask me to sit down for a talk like this ever again-
Jiang Cheng: *looking just as furious* -how DARE you, Wei Wuxian, I came here as a curtesy, you don’t OWN being a cutsleeve! If I fall for a man then I fall for a man-
Wei Wuxian: You little brat, that’s not why I’m mad!
Jiang Cheng: THEN WHY ARE YOU MAD?
Wei Wuxian: YOU ASKED ME TO SIT DOWN FOR THE TALK AND IT MADE ME THINK YOUD TELL ME YOU WERE DYING OR ONE OF THE JUNIORS GOT HURT!
Jiang Cheng: …fuck… that’s fair… how DOES one break the news they’re a cutsleeve?
Wei Wuxian: Adopt a baby and have your beloved raise it into the perfect child to prove them all wrong idk
Jiang Cheng: Too slow, I hate this method. Gimme another one.
Wei Wuxian: idk, then, idk, tell me the next time you’re trying to distract me after someone actually gets hurt?
Jiang Cheng: Okay, I’ll wait til his dad is on his deathbed to tell him.
Wei Wuxian: …that rules out it being any of our friends. None of them have dads anymore.
Lan Sizhui: *was volunteered to go interrupt WWX and JC out of an entire group of worried juniors* Senior Wei-
Wei Wuxian: A-Die, if you please.
Lan Sizhui: *blushy blush of happiness* A-Die 🥰
Wei Wuxian: Yes, my radish?
Lan Sizhui: I was asked to remind you both that telling someone you’re a cutsleeve on their deathbed is considered shocking enough that it might expedite the death to occur in that bed :)
Wei Wuxian: …that sounds like something Wen Ning would say; is Shushu Ning back already?
Lan Sizhui: :) he is. He’s helping Baba with the bunnies.
Jiang Cheng: *having been looking at his hands in confusion til now, looks up to study LSZ carefully* Where’d you get this one? Let’s just go with your first idea. I could hand my beloved a child.
Wei Wuxian: Labor Camp :)
Lan Sizhui: :/
Jiang Cheng: …I’m gonna find a street urchin. It ruined my parents marriage but maybe if I’m not married yet it’s a good luck charm…
Poor Scarred Juniors Who Had To Watch That: -~- 👁️👄👁️
#the grandmaster of demonic cultivation#the untamed#mdzs#incorrect mdzs#incorrect untamed quotes#wei wuxian#lan sizhui#Jiang Cheng
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I LOVE that the collapse of several character relationships this episode comes down to class at the heart of things. The three who were born small folk have infinitely less agency in their own lives. They rise and fall at the whims of the powerful people they serve.
Amangeaux may see Karna as a daughter figure but as she begs her to let her go Karna can clearly see that her biological son is infinitely more important to Amangeaux than Karna could ever be. Amangeaux doesn’t want to play at being queen anymore and it is Karna who must suffer for it. She then attaches herself to Senator Ariana Gemelli and then again to Delissandro. She is dependent on them and lives ultimately at their whim. She may even love Deli but she must know that their relationship can never truly be one of equals. It is part of the tragedy of her character that she seems to always to some extent yearn for those she serves, admiring and caring for them in a way that is unlikely to be returned in full. And even more so that she seems an unwilling servant of the Hungry One who takes of her flesh in return for power and continued life. Unfortunately a good parallel for her relationships to her fellow mortals.
And this is what breaks apart Collin and Deli too. Collin was born to live in fear of what high born can do to those who cross them. He poignantly rebukes Deli that he does not doubt he will be a great leader of the Meatlands, but he is no leader Collin would swear to. He is a cruel and uncaring lord like the rest. He cares not for the innocent he condemns to death on his road to glory. Collin returns to the home of the man he killed because this life matters to him and he knows it does not to Delissandro even though he took it for his sake. Collin grows sick of being an instrument in the same sort of uncaring violence that killed his own family. He leaves behind the blades he swore in service to Delissandro. His anger is much quieter than Deli’s blusterous rage. It feels more directed at himself than at Deli. How could he have deluded himself into seeing this man as a friend and equal all these years? A man who doesn’t even know who he is after all those years by his side.
Raphaniel is the most scattered and broken because he began to think of himself as no longer a member of the small folk. But he forgot that he lives and dies at the mercy of his superiors still and that which is given him can just as easily if not far more easily be taken away. To gain power takes a lifetime but to lose it takes an instant. He scrambles again and again until it destroys his mind and body to gain some foothold of power or at least some sense that he serves some higher purpose but is met at every turn with empty sound. He was born cursed with visions of something terrible beyond but finds perhaps more horrible than the sense that there is something special wrong with him alone is the growing sense in his old age that his life and acts may in the end be meaningless entirely and when he dies he will leave behind just as little mark as any other poor born radish.
#the ravening war#dimension 20#if you love asoiaf watch this season#I really love it#kind of got possessed here#colin provolone#karna solara#bishop raphaniel charlock#bishop no more#thane delissandro katzon#lady amangeaux epicée du peche
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Analysis of the Food/Diet of the Lower Class in the Victorian era
(It was a bit tricky for me to find sufficiently detailed answers about the time and group I was looking for, as I wanted a bit more than the basics. Apologies for any mistakes)
Bread was a staple of the lower-class diet, such as wholemeal, rye bread, unleavened bread (like oatcakes), etc.. For the poor, it was often made of cheap-quality flour and likely denser than modern bread.
These could be supplemented with whatever vegetables that were cheapest as well as locally available at that time of year. Onions were among the cheapest (half penny for a dozen, cheaper if they were bruised) and available all year. They were more expensive in late spring, at which point they could be substituted by leeks. Watercress was another cheap staple (halfpenny for 4 bunches from April to January/February) and were regularly eaten at breakfast. Cabbage was cheap and easily available, along with broccoli, with lettuce and radishes available in summer. Carrots and turnips were inexpensive staples, especially in winter, and they along with cabbage were often used in stews and soups.
As for fruit, apples were the cheapest and most commonly available (from August to May). Cherries were also fairly cheap (from May to July). Pears, blackberries, and plums were available throughout autumn. Then there were gooseberries, plums and greengages (in late September), raspberries, and strawberries. Not all fruits were affordable, like oranges, which were imported from Spain in winter but were expensive and often given as gifts, and pineapples, which were a sign of wealth.
Potatoes were another staple and were prepared in various ways, including boiled, mashed, roasted, or fried. They grew well in Britain’s mild weather, making them easy to produce and sell, meaning they were cheap and thus became a frequent meal.
In terms of meat, the lower class ate it infrequently, maybe once a week, with the worst off even less often. Pork was 1 of the most common types of meat, when it could be afforded.
As a result, the poor made the most of it (using and eating every part of it). For example, a cook would boil a piece of beef or mutton with vegetables one day (probably Sunday, the only day many people had off from work), then return to the boiling pot the next day and skim the fat off from the top to be used for frying or pie crusts. Then he or she could set the liquid back to boiling, adding a stingy amount of oatmeal (one recipe recommends a tablespoon of oatmeal for every pint of liquid) to produce another nourishing meal from the broth. Recipes call it a pot liquor soup; we’d more likely call it gruel.
Gruel, made by boiling grains, like oats, rice, or barley, in water or milk, was a common food option for the poor as it required minimal ingredients and was easy to prepare. It often served as a breakfast or basic meal.
Porridge refers to a thicker and more substantial version of cooked grains, usually oats, in water or milk. It was typically cooked for a longer amount of time, resulting in a creamier and heartier consistency. It was also a popular breakfast choice due to it being nutritious and filling.
They tended to buy cuts and trimmings of meat no one else wanted, which were referred to as “block ornaments”. Examples included sheep’s organs, shanks, gristly bits, and heads. Most of these cuts were tough or didn’t have much meat on them, but they could produce a filling broth. Tripe (lining of stomach of animals like cattle, sheep, and pig), liver, meat on the bone (shin or cheek), and offal (aka organ meats like brains, hearts, sweetbreads, liver, kidneys, lungs, and intestines) were also cheap.
Chicken was rare, as the birds were kept for eggs, and usually not eaten unless the bird stopped laying eggs.
Later in the Victorian era, bacon became a popular choice at breakfast (alongside kippers aka a type of fish made from herring, eggs, and porridge).
Drippings was another common part of the lower class diet. Drippings refer to the fat that is collected as a result of cooking meat. When meat, such as beef, pork, or poultry, is roasted or grilled, the fat present in the meat melts and drips down into the pan or tray. This fat is then collected and saved, typically in a container or jar, for later use. They add flavor and richness to dishes and are commonly used for making gravies, sauces, or to enhance the flavor of roasted vegetables, as a few examples.
Since meat was a luxury, the lower class tended to go for cheaper proteins, like eggs and legumes.
Many East End homes kept hens in their backyards, with a couple hens able to produce up to a dozen eggs per home per week. Hard cheeses like cheddar was produced countrywide and so available all year round, meaning it was able to enter the diet of the lower class. It was a good protein, kept well, and even stale it could be eaten toasted with bread.
Regarding legumes (ex: beans, peas, peanuts, lentils, etc…), they were a cost-effective source of protein, fiber, and nutrients. Dried legumes were more affordable and available all year round. Beans (good from July to September) were a staple for many lower class, often cooked in stews, soups, or baked dishes. Peas (affordable from June to July) and lentils were also commonly consumed.
In terms of drinks, tea was very common. It became more affordable with the help of increased trade, improved transportation, and advancements in production methods. The poor drank tea that tended to be weaker, as they reused the tea leaves several times before disposing of them. Black tea was common, the most popular being those imported from countries like China and India.
Milk was widely consumed but not usually in large quantities, due to cost and adulteration fears (aka fear of contamination). Beer was also common (made with low alcohol content so you didn’t get drunk), even for women and older children, as water wasn’t safe to drink back them (easily contaminated, but the brewing process killed off the germs). Coffee was another option, but it tended to be more expensive than tea, beer, or milk.
Sugar became cheaper at least after 1874, but still tended to be relatively expensive, especially for those on lower incomes. Thus it remained more of a luxury item and consumed in mostly smaller quantities or for special occasions.
Butter, like sugar, would’ve also been considered a relatively expensive item, and thus not as widely consumed. Instead, they used cheaper options of fat, like lard and dripping.
Nuts were another slightly more expensive item. But there were some options if a poorer individual could afford them. Chestnuts were the most common (favorite street snack in chestnut season, running from September to January). There were also filberts and hazelnuts (available from October to May) and walnuts (seasonal). Imported almonds and brazil nuts were more expensive, but commonly consumed around Christmas as a “treat”.
Even if they could afford things like sugar, butter, or nuts, the lower class likely would’ve typically used their income on more basic necessities and things they needed for their job or life.
Individuals were paid on Saturday, and that plus the absence of refrigeration affected the weekly menu. It’s possible the lower class at least may have possessed basic cooking utensils, like a skillet, pot, or kettle. The ‘best’ and relatively most expensive meals were taken on Saturday evening and Sunday, though the poorest would often buy food at the end of Saturday trading, at the cheapest possible prices. Menu choices became cheaper through the week: purchases of food would diminish in quantity as the food budget shrank, and meat would often only be purchased once a week, though vegetables and fruit were usually purchased and consumed on a daily basis.
The very poor might purchase cheaper older fruits, vegetables, and meat on the verge of edibility, though this didn’t really diminish the nutrients in them much.
The lack of refrigeration facilities meant that meats eaten hot on any one day were almost inevitably consumed (cold) on the second day. Any more leftovers were, due to incipient spoilage, curried or hashed on the third day. Spices and the higher heat involved in frying the hash would disguise any taint to the meat and lessen the chances of food poisoning.
Men worked on average 9–10 hours per day for 5.5-6 days a week, giving a range from 50–60 hours of physical activity per week. Factoring in the walk to and from work increases the range of total hours of work-related physical activity up to 55–70 hours per week. They likely required around 5000 calories a day.
The daily wage for poor miners back then may have been around 3-4 shillings, with the weekly wage then around 18-24 shillings. In dollars, 3-4 shillings was likely around $1. In today’s money, 3-4 shillings a day may be around £4 to £5 or $5 to $6.
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A sorcerer’s life comes with a good deal of bad sleep and surprise missions. Nanami, our poor meow meow 🥺
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Thank you Radish for indulging my Toddler With Crayon™️ cravings 💜
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