#the plot was incidental

[apoptoses]

Something that's been on my mind is seeing the idea that in order for smut to be valid to write it has to have a purpose. It has to say something about the characters, it has to serve as a tool for the plot, it has to have some deep meaning beyond the sex acts involved.

And honestly, that's not true no matter how much some very vocal people might insist that smut without a 'purpose' is just porn and porn is shameful to make and consume.

It's okay to write smut because you think the concept is hot. It's okay to write it just because you want to give your readers jerk off material about their favorite characters. It's absolutely, 100% fine to write smut for smut's sake.

And sure, you want it to be in character, you want to write it so that you can't just file the names off and replace them with anyone. But you can just write something because you think character X should fuck character Y in this very specific way and have that be the end of it.

Call it smut, call it porn, call it whatever. Write the stuff you want to write. You don't have to do literary gymnastics in order to make it 'valid' for anyone, and you especially don't have to make excuses to yourself to justify writing it in the first place.

[still-breathing-au-p3r]

They all start getting ready to leave, but Akihiko doesn’t budge. Mitsuru turns to regard him sadly.

Dammit. Her voice is quiet and almost pleading. Openly vulnerable in a way that she very rarely allows to show even to him. Akihiko’s heart lurches. He has to remember that he isn’t the only one suffering right now. There might not be anything he can do for Shinji besides sit around being a useless lump, but he can at least make sure his friends make it back safely.

Mitsuru’s tired smile makes everything feel a little more worth it.

He knows that. Mitsuru’s underselling the fact, even– Akihiko thinks back on a number of especially memorably creative threats Shinji has made over aspects of Akihiko’s training regimine or study schedule or diet that he disapproved of. He’d have some very choice words that could have probably scorched Akihiko’s ears down to nothing about how he was acting.

But having that knowledge doesn’t change his plans. He has to be there for Shinji. He has to. He won’t just abandon him again. 

Akihiko and Mitsuru walk side by side as they return to the dorm, the juniors following close behind like ducklings. The sky is just starting to lighten from black to grey along the horizon, and the streets are empty except for their procession. 

Everything is deathly silent until they’re about halfway back to the dorms.

“So, hey… Kirijo-senpai?” Takeba’s voice nearly startles him right out of his skin. He doesn’t miss that Mitsuru looks just as caught off guard, but she’s perfectly recomposed by the time she faces Takeba, gesturing for her to continue. “What did the doctor mean when she talked about Aragaki-senpai’s, uh, ‘condition’?”

Right. None of the juniors know about that, and honestly, Akihiko wishes he could keep it that way. It’s not something he relishes the idea of talking about. Or thinking about. Shinji probably wouldn’t be too nuts about the entire dorm knowing either, but at this point there’s really no way they can keep it a secret.

Besides, it’s Shinji’s own fault for keeping it from them in the first place. 

“Takeba, that’s–” Mitsuru sounds so weary, stretched so thin. “I truly apologize, but the explanation is going to be long and… taxing, and I am– I’m not up to the task at the moment. Once we’ve all had the opportunity to rest, then I’ll explain things. You have my word on the matter.” 

Takeba’s lips fold into a tight line, and for a split second Akihiko thinks she’s about to argue with Mitsuru, accuse her of keeping more secrets. Thankfully, after she spends a moment studying Mitsuru’s expression, Takeba softens. “Okay,” she says. “After school, then?”

“After school,” Mitsuru agrees. She does not sag with relief, but Akihiko knows that she would be if she were alone, or if it was only him around to see it. “We’ll meet in front of the student council office, and depending on how things develop, we can all return to the dorm together or go straight to the hospital to collect Amada. In either case, I'll explain everything as soon as we have a private space for it.”

Everyone agrees on this plan. They resume their march.

Once they make it to the dorm, the juniors trudge inside one by one. Akihiko stops at the bottom step of the landing and doesn’t move until Mitsuru is the last one left outside. 

“You’re going back,” she says.

It’s not a question, so he doesn’t answer. It should be obvious. 

Mitsuru sighs and wilts like she had refused to do in front of the rest of the team, exhausted past the point of maintaining any of the facade of infallibility that she’d normally put up for anyone else. The one that Akihiko thinks only he and Shinji have seen the other side of in a very long time; maybe even since before they had met her. He knows she thinks of it as allowing him to see her weakness, and as much as he wishes she didn’t see it that way (she’s never once been weak), he does understand how much trust she’s putting in him.

And he’s repaying her by leaving her alone. No matter what he does now, he’ll be turning his back on someone who he’d do anything for.

“I’ll make sure to have a doctor’s note written for you, Akihiko.”

“Thank you, Mitsuru. I appreciate it.” The words themselves do so little to convey how much he really means them that it’s downright insulting. He’s going to make this up to her, he swears it– he just has no idea how to say it. “I’ll keep you updated,” he says instead, and turns to start walking.

“A-Akihiko–” Mitsuru sounds close to alarmed suddenly. “I didn’t realize– you’re not planning on coming in at all?”

He blinks back at her, not following. His mind is already halfway down the street along the route back to the hospital.

“I think you should at least change before you go back,” she says quickly. 

He blinks again, then slowly looks down at himself.

Oh. Right. 

His clothes– and Mitsuru’s, for that matter– are still covered in Shinji’s blood. He never would have imagined being able to forget about something like that, but apparently his awareness of it had been shunted aside at some point in favor of– everything else.

Now though, he’s paying back that reprieve plus interest. Everywhere that fabric had been soaked through and dried stiff suddenly feels like sandpaper against his skin– everywhere, that is, except where it had adhered to it instead. He smells metal and salt. The smell can’t possibly be real, but it clogs his nose and drips thick as syrup down the back of his throat all the same. 

He feels sick. He tastes bile.

He doesn’t think he can ever wear these clothes again. 

Mutely Akihiko nods and follows Mitsuru inside. Once he’s safe in his room, he tears out of his ruined clothes, so fast that his skin smarts where they had stuck to him. He crams them in a haphazard pile in the corner and vows to get rid of them later. He probably can’t get rid of the harness, but whatever. Everything else is going straight in the trash. 

Under his clothes, his skin is stained as well.

He runs the shower dangerously hot, but he hardly feels it. He scrubs until his whole body throbs like a bee sting, but it still doesn’t make him feel clean. In the end, he only stops when the steam and heat start to make him so lightheaded that maintaining his balance becomes difficult.

It’s a good thing that the weather has cooled enough for long sleeves, he muses grimly as he sits on his bed and waits for the dizziness to pass; his efforts in the shower have left raw pink welts along his arms and criss-crossed over his torso.

As soon as he can stand without swaying, he dresses and sets out, tugging on his gloves last. He really can't stand the thought of touching anything right now.

He pauses at Amada’s door, and after a moment of deliberation, tests the knob. It’s unlocked. Akihiko tries not to dwell on why Amada wouldn’t have locked his door last night.

He gathers a set of fresh clothes for Amada– the ones he’d been wearing are likely ruined the same way Akihiko’s were. A small pair of beady black eyes watch him from the cage on Amada’s desk. He picks up a stray pumpkin seed from the desktop and holds it against the bars, and the hamster reaches its tiny paws out to snatch it before retreating under a pile of wood shavings. When he leaves Amada's room, he makes a point to close the door as silently as possible.

He avoids looking at the door to Shinji’s room on his way out of the dorm.

[arbitrarygreay]

Abigail and Tally annoying each other

[winepresswrath]

Cannot believe at this late stage of my life I'm becoming a Gabriel fucker. Local mean jock doesn't want to be evil now, he wants to be loved. I'm slightly annoyed they didn't make Beelzebub more unhinged because the "plot" should have been at least half about them fucking up shit on an absolute rampage trying to find Gabriel, a thing everyone assumes they are doing to fry him with hellfire so they can kick off the war in a way that's advantageous to hell, BUT ACTUALLY!!! true love.

[i-am-just-a-skeleton]

Silly Game Time: WRONG ANSWERS ONLY! What does LGBTQ stand for?

Little Green Beasties, Time travel, and Queen

[the-pea-and-the-sun]

i was writing this in the tags of a reblog then i realized i got to heated abt it that it stopped having anything to do w the post so im putting it in my own post instead

L is so fucking autistic and im so serious its not even a meme or hc to me like there is no other way for me to interpret the show. hes autistic the way will graham is so obviously autistic to the point where u forget that no one actually says hes autistic outright. hes like most accidently autistic coded charcter ever bcz tsugimi ohba just based him off themselves

like. "normal work doesnt appeal to me" tsugimi ohba. self described clean freak who collects tea cups has unusual interests sits weird and doesnt like uncomfortable clothes writes a quirky detective charater. hes just a quirky character. he just has quirks. those are just quirks. he doesnt know how to interact socially bcz of his quirks

im njot saying tsugimi ohba is autistic im just also. not not saying that. i just think its rly funny that stuff like rainman an shows like atypical will fumble explicitly autistic characters an someone like tsugimi ohba will just accidently create one of the best implicit ones of all time. "write what you know" really is some good as writing advice.

idk man i just feel like sometimes the best autistic characters are ones where the writer doesnt think/know that theyre writing an autistic character. because theyre just writing a character. they make them feel real and fleshed out and interesting first, whereas even sensitive and well-meaning allistic writers and readers just cant imagine capital-a-autistic people as existing anywhere outside of a psa about autism

[psalacanthea]

If I ever decide to do a full fic before posting again I think I will pull out my Iron Bull's Chargers first job fic. It involves an Orlesian bard OC that happens to be Florian's bastard. Marjolaine is in it. I like Marjolaine.

[navree]

I straight up forgot about those Bridgerton posters! smh.

Like, it takes my breath away at how disrespectful it is to legit photoshop your lead actress to be thinner. That's a real fucking woman, have some fucking class!

[saltyfilmmajor]

I so desperately want to write a Mission: Impossible / detco crossover fic one day mostly because I think The Black Org would run circles around The Syndicate mostly because Gin is that cool and Lane is just like too invested in revenge

[cinnabeat]

i have beef with the concept of data in kh but anytime i see someone talk shit about it i get so mad

[talesfromthebandgeekmafia]

I play D&D sometimes with my brother and/or his friends on his discord server and good god it’s so hard being the only bitch out here who plays D&D for the roleplay

[walterdecourceys]

it's funny to me how the initial premise of jesus wept was that they'd all be doing a school musical together and now i've somehow ended up in a situation where none of the characters are theater kids

[idalievu]

Time for my daily thoughts about how Jaws is rife with potential for an anti imperialist anti capitalist analysis

[unofficialadamtaurus]

Taken at face value the purpose of Adam's character isn't about civil rights, injustice, or extremism like we logically expected. The writers went for a cheap story of an evil cishet jealous abuser who stood in the way of a virtuous interspecies lesbian relationship. Adam being a faunus is just incidental and secondary. He used the White Fang to get back at his ex-girlfriend.🙄

Taken at face value, Adam’s character arc is a bad story poorly told

[tmae3114]

given the sheer degree to which I love time travel and time shenanigans in general, it is extremely funny to me that the book I have been trying to write since I was nine, my core original work, my best beloved creative project, has developed an immutable central theme of "you cannot change the past, what's done is done; it's best to focus on the present and the future, that's where you can make a difference"

[cer-rata]

I JUST WANTED TO DO SOME RESEARCH FOR AN ANGSTFIC WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?? HOW DID I FORGET ABOUT THIS--