#the plot of every future sci fi movie where the bad guy takes over

[spirituallysloth]

i’ve seen ppl saying that this tiktok ban and revival shit was a stunt to get everyone spread across platforms so there could be less organization so everyone should go back to tiktok. and i agree with the sentiment but like. tiktok HAS to sell to an american company to stay. trump is friends with all these billionaires. i bet one of his lil cronies is gonna buy tiktok and trump, by extension, is gonna control tiktok.

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #33: In Which I Write the Word ‘Quantum‘ 19 Times

Dang, I forgot what happened at the end of the last issue. It was pretty important, too, but I don’t have time to reread. Maybe the establishing shot can help me out?

Oh, that’s right, Rewind happened!

Everyone’s pretty jazzed that Rewind is here, non-exploded, and supposedly alive. Megatron carries this ridiculously small man over to a table, while Skids is busy admonishing Nightbeat for trying to put the pieces of this mystery together.

That’s one of the two first canonically, openly gay Transformers, Megatron. You bet your ass he’s important.

Nightbeat’s dragged Nautica over to look at that poster for Crosscut’s play they saw last issue. Together, they discover something interesting, and it’s not that Nightbeat’s chin has elongated to the point of absurdity. On this future ship, the play was completed and produced a mere few weeks after the initial launch of the Lost Light.

While this is going on, Rewind wakes up and asks Skids what the hell is going on. Skids, likely not wanting to poke at farm-fresh trauma, glosses over the fact that everyone on this ship was violently murdered, and that they found Rewind blacked out inside the hollowed torso of his brother-in-law.

…This is a dark story line.

You see, the joke here is that “Dark Cybertron” sucked major chrome.

Megatron reminds everyone that they’re still in grave danger every moment they stay aboard this ship, but Skids is more concerned with Rewind’s mental health. Which is sweet, but maybe not the thing to prioritize in such a precarious situation.

Rewind takes the fact that Megatron is an Autobot now pretty friggin’ well, as well as the introduction of gender into his species. That is, until Nightbeat, the king of social graces, saunters up to the scene to ask Rewind what the hell happened to the ship. He does get his answers, despite Rewind being horrified to the point of speechlessness.

Over at the hole in the wall, Nautica and Riptide are taking a gander at the quantum drums, which house the quantum foam for the quantum engines so quantum jumps can happen.

As Nautica explains the process by which quantum travel works, she realizes that the answer to what happened to everyone who disappeared was right in front of them this whole time.

Quantum, quantum, quantum- doesn’t even sound like a word anymore, does it?

The data slug Rewind made corroborates this theory, showing a series of events that definitely didn’t happen to the Lost Light we’ve been following throughout this story so far. The data slug contains this Rewind’s version of dead Rewind’s “Little Victories”, the travelogue that was never completed, where the question “are you happy?” revealed just how emotionally unhealthy most of the crew is. I’d like to imagine this Rewind’s film is called “Small Achievements”, or perhaps “Dear Fucking Lord, We’ve Been on this Trip for Three Hours and the Captain Has Been Killed by a Goddamned Soul-Vampire”, or maybe even “Where the FUCK is Our Therapist”.

The DJD came into the equation by way of someone having led them to the Lost Light. We get a flashback panel of the gorefest, in which Tarn appears to have learned how to fly, given the angle he’s coming from.

Because Rewind’s big thing in this series is being the guy who records stuff, the DJD take the opportunity to make some movies of their visit to the space yacht.

James, why do you keep getting Rewind involved with snuff films? I’m starting to get concerned.

Now, the thing about Rewind is that he’s almost always accompanied by his other half. Where is Chromedome, anyway?

He’s dead, that’s where.

Turns out, when you tell the DJD that you won’t do the thing they want you to do, they have a habit of doing nasty things in retaliation. Chromedome got stabbed in the friggin’ visor with his own finger needles, because Vos enjoys ironic deaths, I suppose. There’s some other stuff that’s implied to have happened, but we’ll get to that once we learn a little more about the DJD themselves.

While Rewind recounts the grisly tale of his husband’s demise, Riptide notes that the quantum foam has begun to spread at a remarkable rate. This is a bad thing, because that shit can and will explode, given half the chance, and this wreck is floating right above a potentially-inhabited planet.

Though I could have sworn we established that this planet was a Smartplanet, and therefore very much populated by students and staff. I don’t know. Maybe we conveniently forgot that, so we could make this a learning moment for Megatron.

Jiminy Christmas, Megs, do you even listen to yourself?

Skids, who has had a very long day of finding corpses and learning about quantum theory, snaps at Megatron, telling him that in order to actually be an Autobot, you have to have a little frickin’ compassion for those outside of your peer group.

Which is sort of contradictory to the Aequitas trials, the Killswitch debacle, the POW situation back on Cybertron, and whatever the fuck Prowl’s whole deal is, but maybe Skids is speaking about his own, personal relationship with being an Autobot. Hopefully so, otherwise he needs a class on critical thinking, STAT.

Never mind all of that though, because the problem just got a lot worse- the quantum foam has expanded to a point where any holes in the stuff are too small for the Rod Pod to get through. We’re going to have to get creative if we want to save the day.

Luckily, we’ve got a quantum duplicate of just about the tiniest little dude in the franchise here to do the job. Now we just need another, equally tiny little man, so the quantum drums can be shut off at the same time. Nautica commits more microaggressions, and this gives Getaway inspiration for a witty quip, which in turn gives Skids a brilliant idea.

The gang heads down to Brainstorm’s lab, to look for the mass displacement gun that was used for treating Ultra Magnus’s nanocon infestation back in the 2012 Annual. While they search, Nautica explains just why the hell the Lost Light disappeared in the first place. You see, quantum duplication acts on the Cain Instinct— it’s fine, as long as the duplicates don’t perceive each other. However, the moment contact is made, it says “oh man, guess I’m gonna have to end you” to one of the duplicates. The contact in this case happened when the Coffin Rodimus was brought aboard the ship.

Anything that wasn’t aboard the Lost Light at the point of the takeoff/explosion was never duplicated, and thus wasn’t erased from reality once shit started going to hell. This is why the Rod Pod is still around, and why the remaining cast are— well, the remaining cast.

While this conversation is going on, Nautica and Nightbeat uncover yet another dead body; it’s Brainstorm, and he’s a little underdressed.

…Someone run a paternity test, I think Cyclonus might be the father.

Also, Brainstorm’s a double agent.

Fucked up.

Getaway is furious that a Decepticon has been living on the same ship as him for the last six months, right under his proverbial nose. Even Megatron’s surprised, stating that Brainstorm isn’t usually who the recruiters aim for.

So, no mass displacement gun, and now they’re aware of the fact that there’s a traitor on the ship who’s had access to a LOT of weapon tech. It’s at this point that Megatron decides to stop lying by omission and tells everyone that he can mass-displace, since he used to turn into a handgun.

Smashcut to Megatron and Rewind floating out in space, the former now not much taller than the latter, as they traverse the web of quantum foam to get to the drums. Nautica instructs them from the Rod Pod. If this works, anything produced or connected to the quantum engine will be neutralized, and maybe we’ll even get the other Lost Light back! YAAAAAY!!!

Y’all really let this man go out there to fuckin’ kill himself for the greater good, didn’t you?

Rewind is honestly pretty chill with ceasing to be, seeing as he watched 200/+ people die today, including his long-time spouse.

Jesus. I’d say get him a therapist, but in order to do that, we’re going to have to wipe him off the map anyway.

Rewind asks Megatron if the Chromedome that isn’t his and his duplicate are still together. And I mean…

Luckily, Megatron has the good sense to lie.

With that, they flip the switches, and deactivate the drums.

And that’s a series wrap on Rewind! Congrats to Mr. James Roberts for the esteemed honor of burying the same gay twice!

Later on, everyone is back inside the Rod Pod, as their disappeared shipmates return from being nonexistent. Chromedome pops back in, and Skids is on him like a shark, telling him to go on the roof. Skids doesn’t even try to explain why. Which, fair. How the hell do you explain to someone that their dead husband’s quantum duplicate survived both a terrorist splinter cell attack, and the laws of quantum sci-fi bullshit crashing down on his tiny, tiny body, and that he’s right there on the roof waiting for them?

Welp, there goes the Chromedome/Dominus endgame. Shame, that.

Looks like Chromedome finally hit the threshold for having earned Roberts’ pity, and won’t be directly targeted by the plot for a little while. This isn’t something you see very often, so let’s really soak this in.

…Someone had to have told Rewind what happened to the other Rewind, right? I wonder what that conversation was like.

Back inside the ship, Blaster gets word that the Lost Light has reappeared. As they navigate towards it, Megatron requests that an encrypted call be made to Rodimus, to discuss the Brainstorm problem.

In the interim, Ravage is offered the opportunity to be a part of the crew, so he doesn’t have to keep skulking around in the shadows. We don’t get an answer from him, as our focus shifts over to Nightbeat and Nautica.

Nightbeaaaaaaaaaat, stop stating the themes of the comic verbatim! People are going to start thinking you’re a shonen anime protagonist!

Nightbeat’s somehow managed to keep ahold of the briefcase that they found on the other Lost Light. Unless Brainstorm’s boyfriend is in there, I don’t think this one was the work of Huey Lewis and the News’ hit single from the Back to the Future soundtrack.

Over on the Lost Light, specifically in Swerve’s, Brainstorm’s making his way through the crowd, briefcase held gentle like hamburger as he goes. He makes it to the bar, where Atomizer tells him he can’t have his briefcase in here. Brainstorm has what most would accept to be a healthy response to being told “no.”

It’s what I would do.

[agentnico]

Zack Snyder’s Justice League (2021) Review

It all started with Sonic’s teeth. Ever since fans successfully bullied a studio into reanimating their titular hedgehog character after the abomination shown in the first trailer, fans realised that rallying together (on Twitter) can make a difference. So you’d think it would mean we could all come together to restore world peace and get rid of racism, injustice, poverty, war and negativity of all kind? Nope, nope it does not. But at least we get a better version of a bad DC movie that came out in 2017. I mean, baby steps I guess.

Plot: Fuelled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman's selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists newfound ally Diana Prince to face an even greater threat. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to recruit a team to stand against this newly awakened enemy. Despite the formation of an unprecedented league of heroes -- Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and the Flash -- it may be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions.

I recall my younger simpler self in 2017 at the early age of 20 soon to be 21, sitting down and watching the new Justice League film with zero to no expectations, as by that point the DC Extended Universe was a trainwreck and was a franchise that was literally falling apart before out unblinking red hay fever filled eyes. However, after watching Justice League I was baffled at the fact that I still managed to be disappointed after having zero expectations! With zero expectations this film took me into the minuses, and we all know I’m not great at mathematics so boy are we in the danger zone when we hit the minuses! Looking back at my review of the film back then, I used extreme yet fitting comments like “generic”, “predictable” “messy” and plain “dogsh*t”. Which is what it was. 2017′s Justice League is exactly how I’d imagine a dog’s poop would look if it was turned into an abstract film! It was truly abysmal. After that I thought I’d never have to talk about this film again. How wrong I was. But, in a rare turn of tables, I am glad that I was wrong...

A little history lesson first. Alright, settle down kids, settle down.... Rob, put the paper plane down, do not throw it, I said DON’T THROW IT! NO! Stop! Stupid child!! Headteacher’s office right now! Also, say hi to your mother for me, okay? I’m having brunch with her on Saturday and you better not be there as you should be doing your homework watching the 4 hour cut of Justice League and questioning your life choices!! Anyway, now let’s have ourselves a history lesson. The topic is - What In The Flying Fudge Happened Behind-The-Scenes Of Justice League For DUMMIES: Condensed Edition. A really condensed version as honestly none of us have the attention span to read loads and I’m probably losing the vast majority of you due to this overlong rambling session. So anyway, to the last couple of readers left, here we go! Following the success of Man of Steel, Warner Bros. gave Zack Snyder the reigns to oversee and create a DC cinematic universe to rival the success of Marvel. And so came Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice, which turned out to be a bit of a hodgepodge, receiving mixed to negative reviews and though was a box office success, earned diminishing results to what Warner Bros. originally anticipated. However, by the time Batman V Superman released, Zack Snyder was already hard at work on the big superhero team up film Justice League (which was meant to set up many characters and future films for the DCEU) with a lot of filming already underway, so Warner Bros. couldn’t particularly pump the breaks on it by that point, even though they evidently lost trust in the Snyder formula. To be honest, at that point I too lost trust in Snyder’s vision and the DCEU as a whole, but my opinion doesn’t class for a single dime, whilst the opinions of Warner Bros. executives make millions, so there aren’t any hard feelings on my behalf for them not enquiring on my thoughts. Anyway, midway through production Zack Snyder was hit with a family tragedy with his daughter committing suicide, so Snyder naturally had to depart the project to be with his family during this grieving time. Warner Bros. had the option to pause production and await for Snyder’s return, or progress at their own accord. Naturally they decided to do their own thing cause they are a business and want that dollar dollar bill baby!! So they hired Joss Whedon who was riding fresh off the success of two Avengers movies and obviously had experience in cinematic universes and such, to rework the Justice League movie by condensing it into a 2 hour film (from the over 4 hour material that Snyder shot) and reshoot scenes to fit the smaller runtime. So you cannot particularly blame Whedon for taking out so many great scenes as he had a contract to fulfil with Warner Bros, but then you look at the many forced jokes and unnecessary reshot scenes and you realise how self-indulgent Joss Whedon was during filming, as he basically was spitting on everything Snyder did and was trying to do his own thing. Low and behold, the mess that is the 2017 movie is created, where its the visions and creative minds of two director with evidently different styles clashing and not really mixing well at all, and as such we have a messy movie that doesn’t really make sense and is a bit of a middle finger to DC fans and honestly everyone and all. Also, there was that little aspect of Henry Cavill’s deformed upper lip due to the fact that during reshoots he had a moustache that he’d grown and was contractually obligated to have for his Mission Impossible role, so the visual effects team had to digitally remove it in post production and the result is, well, see for yourself...

Yes, they made the dashing handsome my-sexuality-questioning Henry Cavill look stupid, and that is UNFORGIVABLE. Funny, yes, very funny but unforgivable!! So for this and many other reasons the 2017 film turned out horribly. Then after that many months later, Zack Snyder and cast and crew members began teasing of this mythical version of the movie that was befit of Snyder’s original vision. You see, apparently before he left the project, Snyder actually filmed everything he wanted and it was only awaiting to be reworked with visual effects and edited properly, but then Whedon came in with his scissors and cut everything mercilessly with a cheeky grin and his ginger beard. Speaking of his ginger beard, is Joss Whedon Irish? Or has Irish roots? Honestly, I would Google it, but wait, I don’t think I really care. So anyway, Snyder still had all of his filmed scenes saved on his ridiculously oversized hard drive just waiting to be looked at again. This is where the fandom did its magic by creating a Twitter hashtag #ReleaseTheSnyderCut and began spam posting for Warner Bros. to let Zack Snyder release what he originally intended to. Honestly, who would have thunk it, but this actually worked!! Warner Bros. allowed this, and not only that, but gave Snyder an additional $70 million to finish up the visual effects as well as to film a couple of additional sequences and gave it the prestigious honour to debut it on HBO Max, so as to boost the subscriber rating on Warner Bros. new streaming service. And here we are.

Honestly, I thought seeing this Director’s Cut of sorts wouldn’t bring much to the table as I didn’t believe that a film that was so broken had originally been in any way good. After finishing this 4 hour Snyder vision I must admit though that I was pleasantly surprised. Completely baffled by the studio and Joss Whedon, but really happy for Zack Snyder. The guy was fighting for it and finally was able to accomplish and bring out his true original vision, and though Zack Snyder’s Justice League has its flaws, its so much better than what we got in 2017, and in fact is a soaring science fiction sci-fi epic that literally feels epic!! It takes time establishing the characters and every single plot point as well as building out this rich mythology of this world of the DC Extended Universe, and so as you move into the second half of the film, there’s a feeling of pay off. You actually care about the characters and understand the plot points and it doesn’t feel rushed. Its truly astounding that there are producers out there who thought it was a good idea to get rid of all of that and instead bring out whatever the heck Joss Whedon did with the 2017 version. Look, I quite enjoy Joss Whedon’s work, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel to Cabin in the Woods and his work on Marvel, the guy obviously has a talent, but also he obviously does not belong to the dark and brooding style of DC. Zack Snyder on the other hand, though makes his mistakes, truly embraces the epic feel of the DC material. And it seems once you give Snyder enough time and space, he can actually bring out something like this:

The main characters are all given so much more to do, or at least those that got side-lined in the 2017 version are given more to do here. One of my complaints with the original was how pointless the League turns out to be. Basically in the theatrical version the main team all end up being useless and only once Superman shows up he saves everyone’s asses and literally does EVERYTHING. Might as well have called the film Man of Steel 2 (feat. Justice League). However in this new version, every main character serves a purpose. Well most of them do at least. Cyborg and Flash are much more compelling characters with more layers and backstory, and in fact are a prime reason to defeating the great evil in the end. You now understand why Cyborg actor Ray Fisher was pissed at Joss Whedon, as the guy literally got rid of his best stuff. Superman strikes a cool black suit and is still powerful, however as the finale shows, he isn’t all-powerful and does need the help of the rest of the team. Wonder Woman gets a lot more to do in this theatrical cut, and in fact this is probably Gal Gadot’s best performance as Wonder Woman and she really shows herself as a powerful female superhero! Aquaman’s role stays largely unchanged, however to be honest Jason Momoa’s character was one of the only ones who didn’t suffer in the theatrical cut. That’s unsurprising seeing as Jason Momoa is such a naturally cool dude! A big panda that is friendly in real life, but when necessary can turn into a roaring bear. To be honest, the only League member that ends up a bit pointless is actually Batman. He still serves a purpose in the film in that he’s the one who assembles the team, but otherwise the rest of the group is so overpowered compared to him that in the end you do kind of think that he doesn’t really belong there. Still, Ben Affleck is great in the role and it’s a shame we won’t see much of him past Flashpoint film that will be released in the next few years.

There are a lot of characters in this film and one can still say the movie is overstuffed, but also seeing as the movie was originally intended to spring board the DCEU properly, all these teases are actually welcome. There are an abundance of cameos, and to be honest so many characters are so well cast that you do end up wishing that Snyder was given the opportunity to make his entire Justice League planned trilogy, but nevertheless at least we have this. There are truly an abundance of cool appearances here, from the menacing villain Darkseid (played by Ray Porter) to Willem Dafoe doing what Dafoe does best, only in this case underwater and I’m certain that’s gonna span many comparison memes with The Lighthouse. Joe Morton as Cyborg’s dad is given a lot more to do here and in fact is pivotal towards building up Cyborg into the important character that he is. There’s also a cameo from Jared Leto’s Joker, who in some ways redeems himself after his appearance in Suicide Squad. Also, we need to talk about Steppenwolf, who’s the main baddie in this film. In the theatrical cut the guy was the most generic one-note villain who also looked like a PS2 character. It was honestly embarrassing the way he was animated. Luckily in this version he’s been put through enough Skyrim mods to looks much more intimidating and is also given a better motivation. As we find out, the reason he does what he does is because he wants to go home. He’s been banished and he simply wants to earn his place back home, so it’s actually kind of sweet. Steppenwolf is a sweetie. I mean, yeah, he wants to destroy half of the world to fulfil his dream, but hey, haven’t we all taken something extreme measures to get what we want?

The film is far from perfect though. At the end of the day, the movie is just about a guy hunting down a bunch of magical boxes. That was the premise of the theatrical cut and its the same here too. Yes, there is more substance and gravitas to the proceedings, but at the end of the day the story doesn’t really surprise much. And with the entire thing running at 4 hours, it is definitely too long and there is the element where there is simply too much in this thing. Also visually, though the movie has plenty of gorgeous shots and Zack Snyder’s signature slow motion sequences are on full display here, there are still many sequences where the CGI and green screen are super obvious and look really fake. That being said there’s still so much visual goodness in this, and also I have to mention Junkie XL’s new music score that does reiterate the epic feel of this movie, in comparison to Danny Elfman’s weak uninspiring notes in the theatrical cut.

Zack Snyder’s Justice League is a massive surprise and completely changes the perception of what we saw in the original 2017 theatrical cut. It’s a sprawling massive adventure that’s a dream come true for any comic book fan. It shows how vital film editing is, and how important it is to have a cohesive plan when making a movie. Gone too are the silly forced jokes, and though there is still some humour here, it feels more grounded and fit of the setting and scenario. This is Snyder’s vision through and through, and though at times it is clunky, it overall is incredible to behold, as it’s this one guy’s mind and his love for the DC lore. It’s a credible achievement, and I’m actually sentimentally happy for Snyder that he finally managed to complete this. He even during the credits dedicates this to his daughter Autumn that passed away, and I found that to be truly bittersweet. Justice has indeed been served.

Overall score: 7/10

[ofgeneticperfection]

Scarlet’s chain of sweetness

Courtesy of  @madamdirectcr

5 THINGS YOU LOVE ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER.

1. Indomitable - She pretty much does what she wants, how she wants, whenever she wants. If she wants something? She manipulates her way into getting it. She doesn’t stop until she has it and hardly anything will sway her otherwise. She’s extremely hard to control when determined and set on a task in mind. She’s hard to control period. She’s got a streak of wild, impulsive, and loves to toy with others be it malicious or just to tease.  Her will is near impossible to break and she never believes that she can’t do something even if it is the impossible. Atop of that she’s fairly hard to defeat physically, she’ll bring more than a challenge if ever attack or if a loved one is ever hurt. I’m not saying that she can’t be brought down because she can, but it’s going to take more than a couple of hits.

2. Emotional Depth-  There’s not just one tier to Isrieal, there’s a million and it’s a labyrinth. She comes off as cold, arrogant, prideful but that’s the main wall that she hides behind. She’s strong and will exude complete confidence most of the time while being sly, cunning, coy, and whatever else she can throw at you. These are the emotions she shows to the world but the rest she’s buried so deep inside that she forgets they even exist. Inside she’s broken, sad, lonely, tormented but she has her ways of hiding them and biting back the pain that feeling these emotions brings. It’s from the conditions she’s been stuck in for her whole life at Hojo’s mercy and the lies she’s had to tell herself to make it easier to handle. Of course, this naturally makes her volatile with bursts of anger or other strong emotions and if she let’s one slip out they all come spilling out sooner or later. She does have a tendency to use special sedative injections to subdue these emotions whenever she feels any starting to well up. Deep under it all, however, she loves with all of her heart once she is sure that she will not be hurt. She’s always afraid of that in a way, but there is no in between. You have her all or you have her nothing. But once there she is quite passionate and protective and more soft and innocent then she’d originally lead you to think. 

3. Manipulative - Life is a game and she plays to win. At least that’s how one survives in ShinRa. She learned from one of the best manipulators out there and now she’s known to even manipulate the Professor himself. She rose herself from experiment to assistant Director by playing him and she plays everyone around as she sees necessary in order to get what she needs. She often shows what she wants to show and nothing more, near every move and every article of clothing is precisely calculated towards whomever she is meeting with. Of course, only if you don’t know her well. 

4. Deals with the Devil- Oh yes, she loves to make deals but don’t worry they’re mostly fair and she is one to keep to her word and her promises. Despite her demeanor she is quite loyal when she promises something. If you work out a trade or a bargain she’ll do her best to uphold her end of it, getting you what you want in return. There is a lot that can be traded between science and other departments after all and she’s not afraid to go behind the Professor’s back here and there if it means obtaining something she’s personally after in the end. 

5. A.I Alien - Lastly, yes I love the fact she is a hybrid and loves to play with quantum theory and A.I in the future. I always love the sci-fi aesthetics and concepts and the idea of something beautiful having a monster inside. She’s at conflict with this part of herself, often not knowing how to fully accept it but at least she is in control of the cells and not the other way around. She’s also always been focused on uploading consciousness and prolonging and bringing others back to life since she doesn’t age. It’s from there that she gets pulled into quantum theories and eventually breaks through to a system A.I that she makes a deal with to her own advantage, but this is a plot I haven’t touched in a while. Really I love everything about her but these are some fun and dominating concepts. 

5 PEOPLE ON HERE YOU LOVE, AND WHY.

1. @animus-inspire Where do I start? Seriously. This was unexpected but yet one of the best things that has ever happened in my writing history. I love love love this ship and all the AU’s of it so much! And beyond that, it’s so rare to get me to talk a lot but I can’t seem to ever shut up around you xD. But, I LOVE talking to you and the connection we have and the fact that we have so many stinking ideas all the damn time and they all get played off each other so easily and that we can share the same obsessions and YES WHAT HAVE YOU DONE! But you are also one of the sweetest and most full of life people I know on here and I absolutely love writing with you, you’ve made it so great :3. And you are seriously best Reeve and have made me love all the Reeve. <3

2. @thefirstthaumaturge I’ve known you for about like, well.....well over 10 years xD And I love you more as the years go on. We’ve survived drama days together and now we can laugh about all the stupid RP stuff we did in the past. I also enjoy all of our new RPs and how great its been to see both our OCs grow and thrive in these communities. I also super love talking to you and playing video games with you and watching WestWorld and movies with you. Basically, you make everything super fun and I don’t know what I’d do without you around. I also love how we always manage to say/type the same things at the same time all the damn time xD Digital sisters but its as real as it gets. 

3. @shinraweirdscience @xbroken-science @insidious-scientist  I love all of my Hojo’s that deal with Izzy’s crazy ass and put up with me so thank you guys! I’m always down for crazy plots and all the trauma that comes with them so don’t ever feel bad about throwing anything at me or damaging Izzy. It’s what makes her her after all. And I find it all a lot of fun. I’m always ears for ideas so let me know!

4. @sadistic-second I don’t write a whole lot with you here but you’re always good company in the voice chats and you make playing games a lot of fun as well. I like our little group we have going on to do all the stuffs. I love all the gifs and icons you make, and the paracord is very creative as well. It’s always cool to see what you can do. Of course I like all the funny things too.   @apathetic-ruler  I have to say you’re writing is amazing, I love it! I haven’t wrote with your Ru but I love past life Ru xD One of these day’s I’ll figure out what to do with a Rufus I’m sure. 

5. @ivory-paragon We don’t write much but I love playing FFXIV with you and being in all your groups. It’s a very fun and enjoyable atmosphere and you make me laugh all the time. If I hadn’t found you I wouldn’t have found any of this awesome community and my great shippy ships that have come out of it. @rikelusshinra I love all of our RP’s and stuff too. You have a super amazing OC that seems to fit right in and I’ve loved writing with Rike. Even if you are busy now. It’s rare Izzy finds ships that work but you are one of those lucky ones that she fits well with and I love all the ideas we play with as well. So to my FFU peeps! Even if we don’t write on tumblr much I still love you both. 

Honorable mentions:

@cinderella-gurei God, you are the best Chadley and you break my damn heart all the time in our RPs. Izzy will never forgive herself completely but she’s glad to have you around and so am I! She will protecc forever. <3 

@madamdirectcr I love your Scarlet! I want to see what happes :3  @makeupandmateria Another lovely Scarlet I had to mention as well!

5  SONGS EITHER YOU OR YOUR MUSE REGARD AS A ‘GUILTY PLEASURE’ THAT ALWAYS MAKES YOU SMILE.

So okay, I’ve thought about this all day and I’ll do a few categories. Since I revolve around music so heavily and no lie have hundreds of my own music videos in my head for every song I’ve ever heard, yes I’m one of THOSE people. xD

So I’ll start with what I’ve been listening to lately that really fits in with WestWorld Izzy and Logan!Reeve ShinuestiLos xD I can’t seem to get Poker Face out of my head for her and a couple other Lady Gaga songs that fit in  Like this one too. 

Also I really love these songs but they are so random. This one mostly thanks to ARI, but I can never not listen to it when it comes on. Also Mortal Kombat. This song makes me so fired up every time I hear any variation of it xD. Even now! alkdjfsldjfsdljf, but I do really like this mix. 

Then we can’t forget those emo day songs. Mr. Brightside is one I can never resist singing. It’s just so damn good! Then there is Holiday by Greenday and can’t forget Miss Murder by AFI xD 

Now I have an extremely long list of electronic type, synth, darkwave, trance, whatever the heck categories they fall under that I just like to call my Robot music xD  Here’s a couple with AI themes that I’ll just throw out here. We Appreciate Power and quite literally A.I 

And lastly this one reminds me of Midgar so much and Izzy, but I always see her singing this if she ever made a music video. (which apparently she’s made many) But she’d definitely be in front of wall sized windows with Midgar in the background and the labs, and its also why she sometimes refers to it as Electric City, idk who the guy would be singing with her but if you want it to be you just let me know? Lol.  After all she is Indistinct. Ill Defined. Uncontrolled. Unconfined. 

Tagged by: @animus-inspire (this took me forever Reeeeeve x.x) 

Tagging: @thefirstthaumaturge

[choccos-aaart]

Learn stuff about the story of April and friends!

>>BASE<<

[SPOILER WARNING FOR PEOPLE WHO ARE INTERESTED?!] Also this is a LONG post -Chocco

LAST UPDATE: 13.07.2021

Random Facts Story Meme By ~PhoenixTorque If you're looking for a serious meme, you're in the wrong place! This is meant for original fiction, although it might work for fanfiction as well. It can be done with as many or as few spoilers as you wish, so feel free to skip over a question if you don't want to spoil things for potential readers. So pick a story and get started!

So, what's your story called? Like hell I know! XD It’s gone through multiple changes, but right now I’ve got “Poject: Proclo.” Despite me growing used to it, I’m not very proud of it...

Did you have any early/working titles? Yes! (It’s very embarrassing, though...)

Cloronve Niathea (2016-2017) - I jumbled up a bunch of words just so I could claim a tag

The Cloronia (2018?-2019) - I thought the 2016 one was stupid

Project: Clonerion (2019-2020) - I thought the early 2019 one was stupid.

Project: Proclo (2020-2021?) - I thought the 2020 one fell into this “definitely could have a definition in English which makes no sense in this context” trap

Project: WHAT THE HELL?! 

Why did you choose the final title? It’s titled “Steel House in the Prairie”!

Keeping this answer because I thought it was funny: “I didn’t! I don’t even have one that’s confirmed, yet!”

Was it easy or hard to choose a title? It’s pretty damn hard, I’ll tell you that

Who's the protagonist? Some cyborg kid named April

Why are they the protagonist, and not someone else? Well, here’s multiple things that tick off...

Audience knows just as much about the situation she finds herself in as she does

She undergoes major development, especially in relation to the other characters and in regards to the story’s main themes

She goes through situations that miraculously make her do protagonist things

ETC!!! XD

Are they a hero or everyperson? April’s an ambitiousless everyperson that just so happens to know how to fight.

What's their job? April’s only 15! And she hates being seen in the public, anyway! XD

Do they have a sidekick? Best Friend? April does make good friends with Pillia and Matro who technically do become her first best friends/sidekicks in her whole protag/hero journey

Do they have a love interest? Rivals fighting for their affection? A harem that hangs on their every word? Nope!

Is there a secondary protagonist? Who? I wouldn’t say, necessarily.

The main antagonist? Sad man Skatra XD Doc and co. seems like one at first, but it turns out that they’re also on the same side as April, too.

What do they have against the protagonist? Well, Mr Skatra’s got a goal, right? And April’s pretty much getting in the way of that goal. (Duhh!) Also, he and April are thematic opposites (Like hell I’m revealing this out to the public, tho XD) And also, April’s past has done some major damage to Skatra’s past (yeah, I know. Fiction just so happens to have coincidences like these, but c’mon. Fiction is an art.)

Are they a loner, or do they have a second-in-command? Mr Skatra works very closely with his daughter, Eyn!

Villain with good or bad publicity? Skatra’s got no publicity lol! (All seriousness, people are pretty indifferent to him. But that’s because he hasn’t achieved his goal, yet...)

Sure, but who REALLY runs the plot? Let’s face it. Skatra’s practically the reason for everything major in this story.

Who's the most important character not on this list? Why are they important? Doc/Sarlife hasn’t really been in a direct answer to any of these questions yet. They’re important because not only do they make a huge part of Skatra’s first conflicting side to begin with, but they also have their fair share of importance in the themes of the story, too.

Who's the least important character that you pay attention to? Probably Matro. He’s one of April’s friends, yeah, but the most important thing he does in the main storyline so far is just transport our characters XD

What's the most prominent canon ship? Well, I’ve nobody that’s really canon, yet. Unless Eyn’s slight crush on Pillia at the start counts. It’s not really that important. But I feel like I’ll hint it throughout the story. (Good luck on getting her, Eyn! Must hurt when you learn you’re on opposite sides, huh.)

Any other ships? Aside from Eyn’s small crush, there’s no other main characters that are canonically together.

Any noncanon crack!pairings you would read/consider writing? OH BOY. Alright, here’s a list of my bets:

April + Eyn - Everyone loves that good rivals/protag+antag pair. How can you get any better than that? They even start off thinking they’re gonna be great friends at the start (which is actually kinda sad...)

Matro + Farqua - They bicker quite a bit at the start, but they slowly regain their friendship as the story goes on. Classify them as rivals, if you want. And also, Farqua’s the one that works for Skatra, so there’s some good guy/bad guy stuff going on. BONUS: They’re red and blue with some major height difference, as well!!!

Doc + Wyra - These two consider each other pretty close and as close as they are, you’ll find Wyra teasing Doc a bit, too. That’s usually a joy to watch. They’re also your typical brawn + brains duo. Also, there’s the serious business + ball of energy there. I think this one’s sweet.

April + Pillia - Pillia’s probably April’s strongest relationship out of everyone in the story. She practically becomes April’s sidekick. Pillia’s good at turning trash into treasure, which means she can turn April into something great, too.

Matro + Doc - I’ve made sure that it looks as if they’ve been friends for ages. Matro even gets really upset after learning that Doc’s gone totally nuts. When Doc does end up joining forces with team April, Matro’s obviously got mixed feelings on the situation (considering what Doc’s done), but still wants to maintain their friendship as much as possible. 

Doc + Skatra - Here are two of April’s main antagonists, so that’s a start. Also, despite being on opposing sides of the situation, Doc doesn’t necessarily see Skatra as an enemy, they see him as someone who needs help. Although trying to stop Skatra, Doc’s trying to find the best possible way out of the situation for this guy. This probably the more angstier ones, of the bunch. 

Pillia + Ida - I’ve stated early in the script that these two are close friends. I haven’t had a phase yet where I’ve developed them as much as the others, but they’re the ones that are left, so I’m expecting some, soon. I’m probably gonna base some of their interaction off of Lister and Kryten from Red Dwarf, especially >>This Scene<<

Sorry, Eyn, Skatra, Ida, and Wyra, you’re all lonely as hell XD (don’t worry, I’m aroace XD)

Who is your favorite character to write? Tough one between Matro and Farqua.

Who is your least favorite character to write? Not that I’ve got a least favourite to write, but as of now, I’ve worked with Ida the least out of the main cast. (Sorry! I’ll get to you soon, I promise!!!)

Which character is the most cooperative? Ida, probably. She’s actually the most bored.

Which character is the least friendly? Doc, no matter how much they try to be.

Which character would you most want to meet in a bar? Matro seems the most fun to get drunk with! With his guitar, especially.

Which character would you least want to meet in a dark alleyway? Eyn. Especially in her Axel Duiti outfit!

How many characters are there total? I’m not counting. But, there are three main focus characters, and six other secondary characters!

How many are allied with the heroes? Out of the main characters, it starts off with three, then six, then seven.

How many are allied with the villains? Out of the main, it starts off seeming to be six, in actuality is three, then just two.

How many hate both of them? Oh... Uh... IDK I’ll write that later XD (Well, the situation’s trying to be as private as possible)

How many refuse to pick a side? Ida seems to have the most side struggles out of everyone. Farqua’s unwillingly pulled apart in all directions, too.

How large is the core cast (in 80-90% of the scenes)? Dunno excactly how to calculate much XD Let’s hope it’s a decent number.

Be honest—how many characters are actually important? Let’s hope all nine of them do something! 

When does the story take place? Likely far future (probably not in this universe, though!)

Where does it take place? Lightyears away from Earth, in the Piarosar system

Would you want to live there? If it weren’t for the war, then yeah. Seems pretty cool.

Does your story end in the same place it starts? This part of the story, yes. I plan for it to be part of a bigger story.

What/whose POV is the story told from? It’s in script form! Well, mostly from April’s point of view.

If not omniscient, whose thoughts would have the most spoilers? Skatra and Doc’s!

What genre is your story? Sci-fi, action, & adventure (despite being set inside a building. Well, it’s a massive one, though...)

Where in a library would you file it? Sci-fi. Duhh.

What format are you writing it in? Script! (For a comic)

What format do you wish you could write it in? Still script! For an animated series!

Would you be for or against a movie? It’s better suited for a series. But hell yeah, that’d be cool.

Indie flick or multi-million blockbuster? An indie project. Don’t want it too big, you know...

Write a nice, long description about the story: (Done that) “April is a cyborg kid who finds a large, mysterious building when she gets lost in a prairie. She learns that the main entrance of the place is totally out of the question, so she tries finding her way in from above. Too bad that she can't get out from where she came from, and now she's forced to find another way out.

April then later discovers that inside the building is a community of robots and different races of creatures. Some even decide to help her on her little journey outside the building in the safest way possible. Unfortunately, it also turns out that some couple randos' got some sort of weird deal with April and they clearly don't like her.

Even worse, It also turns out that the building has problems of its own. Robots are disappearing from their homeplaces and so are some of the rest of the people. If this keeps up, soon nobody will be there to keep to the building and its people. And when April finds out what exactly's been going on, there lies the chance that maybe she could do a large part in preventing a major catastrophe that'll take place if nothing's done. And get this. It's not just the building that gets it. Good thing April's not that big a scumbag to not do anything about it.”

That sounds interesting, but can you cut it to under 200 words for the back cover? A sci-fi about a cyborg kid who gets stuck inside a mysterious, giant building after getting lost far outside the city. Upon her arrival in the building, it turns out that her goal isn't just to escape and make her way back home, but to also somehow prevent a huge catastrophe that awaits if she doesn't do anything. Good thing she isn't that big a scumbag.

Quick! Write a 200-character-or-less (with spaces) teaser (think ff.net)! Now give us a catchy tagline for promotional material! A cyborg kid gets stuck inside a mysterious, giant building in the middle of nowhere. Turns out that her goal isn't just to escape, but to also prevent some huge catastrophe from happening.

Is there magic? Maybe? (Really depends what characters I introduce and where they’re fro) Time travel? In a way, this happens. Psychic powers? Nop. Talking animals? No. If I count the aliens, that’s kinda insensitive lol! Pajamas? Not exactly? Different dimensions/realms? Not necessarily. More like they explore our reality. Aliens? Yes! High school? Our protag’s in year 9? Poison? Sorta Dragons? No... Cake? Not many of the main cast can actually eat XD Large guns? O.O?!!!!! Children? Yeah, that’s like almost half the main cast Ninjas? Nope XD Large cities? Not really Advanced science? Yep! Teenagers? Yep! War? In the background, but I might explore this some more in future... Faeries? Nope... Corrupt government? I guess???????? Romance? Nope! XD Witches or Wizards? Nop Spaceships? Maybeeeee Fanservice? In a sense where it means “thing that isn’t necessary for the story, but just to make fans happy”, probably when the alternate versions of the characters pay a visit Ridiculously long names? Hm....... IDK An old, wise mentor? Not in that sense... Swords? Uhh... No??? Internet? Yeah, Housewives? No I guess lol  Conspiracies? ??? Overprotective parents? WEll, sorta I guess Revolutions? I don’t recall that idea coming :P Scented soap? I WISH Stuff blowing up? YEHA Monkeys? Idk? Not here?? A happy ending? YeaH?!?!??? Sorta. How much of the story have you finished? More planning than actual writing tbh

How much of the storyline have you decided on? A lot of the skeleton, now just the actual in betweens

About how long is it? Pretty long. IIt;s actually a part of a bigger thing.

How long is it in-story from beginning to end (flashbacks don't count)? LONG>

Do you ever think it will be finished? YES> DON’T DOUBT ME Anything else you'd like to add?  I’m good!

[wcsleyevans]

a bit about wesley evans

LAYER ONE: THE OUTSIDE

Name: wesley roman evans

Eye Color: brown

Hair Style/Color: curly brown short hair

Height: 5′11

Clothing Style: usually something comfortable to wear in a lab - old trainers, jeans and a graphic tee with some sort of science joke on it

Best Physical Feature: smile

LAYER TWO: THE INSIDE

Fears: his lies about his research being found out

Bad Habits: obsessing over something for a long time and then forgetting about it, biting his nails

Ambition for the Future: to become a father and raise a future scientist

Biggest regret: how things ended with alexa

LAYER THREE: THOUGHTS

First Thoughts Waking Up: "coffee... must. drink. coffee.”

What They Think About the Most: either science fiction or actual science

What They Think About Before Bed: the show he just watched before bed

What They Think Their Best Quality Is: his positivity & ability to help others

LAYER FOUR: WHAT’S BETTER?

Single or Group Dates: single

To be Loved or Respected: loved

Beauty or Brains: brains

Dogs or Cats: cats

LAYER FIVE: DO THEY?

Lie: yes, a lot of the time. about research, about his feelings towards people, about what he actually wants the most in life

Have scars/birthmarks: a lot of scars from experiments gone wrong. a large burn mark on his arm from a heating block, a big scar from an exploding conical flask, and lots of cuts on his fingers from picking up glass

Believe in Themselves: not really - his research clearly isn’t good enough to get him anywhere so he lies about it

Believe in Love: absolutely. platonic, romantic, familial. all kinds of love

Want Someone: absolutely

LAYER SIX: EVER?

Been on Stage: nope

Done Drugs: no

Changed Who You Were to Fit In: he became a bit closed off and impatient when he decided to change his results in order for no one to suspect him of doing anything wrong. but didn’t change to fit in. if anything, when he met sofia he became more himself

LAYER SEVEN: FAVORITES

Favorite Color: emerald green – the colour of bis(N-sec-butylsalicylaldiminato)nickel(II) to be exact. it was the first crystal he every managed to correctly synthesise

Favorite Music: he doesn’t like to admit it, but wes is a big t swift fan

Favorite Animal: cats

Favorite Drink: freshly brewed coffee

Favorite Food: salted popcorn

Favorite Place: his lab

Favorite Sport: he hates sport but if he were to pick one, it would be lacrosse

Favorite Season: autumn

Favorite Holiday: thanksgiving

LAYER EIGHT: IN A BOY OR GIRL

Best Personality: outgoing and extroverted, someone he can talk to about anything even if they don’t understand it

Best Eye Color: doesn’t care

Best Hair Color: doesn’t care

Best thing to do With a Partner: watch sci fi movies and try to ruin the plot by explaining the science. or just sit and talk about nothing, and everything

LAYER NINE: FINISH THE SENTENCE

I love: my work. it’s so cool

I hate: the fact that i might get caught one day

I feel: so lucky to have a best friend like sofia

I hide: my real findings

I miss: how easy the first few years of the academy were

I wish: things had ended differently with alexa. she deserved so much more than she got with me, and i wish she knew just how much that relationship actually meant to me

QUESTIONNAIRE FOR THE MUSE:

What do you look like? (Include body type, frame, hair, eyes, skin, age, and distinguishing features): i’m quite slim, but on the odd occasion i get time off work i go jogging so i guess there’s a bit of muscle definition. i have brown curly hair, brown eyes and tanned skin. my most distinguishing feature is probably my eyes, they’re quite big and expressive

How do you dress most of the time?: i usually wear a graphic tee of some superhero or science joke, jeans and some old shoes that are comfy. oh and also usually a lab coat and goggles, y’know, for science purposes

How do you “dress up”?: i have only ever dressed up once for prom and i wore one of my dad’s old suits that was too big for me. not a good look. but i would wear a nice, fitted suit if i ever had to go to an event that needed one

How do you “dress down”?: joggers and a baggy t-shirt. and fleeces. fleeces were the best thing in scotland as it is freezing up there

What do you wear when you go to sleep?: pyjama bottoms. usually flannel pattern, but i have some in evans tartan which are my favourite thing i own

Do you wear any jewelry?: can’t wear jewellery in the lab unfortunately. too many chemicals and lasers

In your opinion, what is your best feature?: i love how excited and passionate i get about things

How many siblings do you have?: just me bud

What is your father like?: such a supportive guy. he moved us all the way from scotland so that i could go to a better school and become a scientist and for that i’ll be forever grateful. he doesn’t necessarily understand all that i do, but he knows how much it means to me that he’s supportive anyway

What is your mother like?: mum is amazing. she was the head of a firm of accountants in edinburgh and she gave that up so we could move here. she’s so compassionate and kind, and her and dad were made for each other. most supportive parents you can get to be honest

Where do you live? Describe it: Is it messy, neat, avant-garde, sparse, etc.?: i live in a flat in grove harbour by myself. it’s quite spacious as it’s not in the nicest part of town, but i’ve installed cameras, extra security systems and made it really safe. it’s a nice apartment actually. spacious kitchen, cosy living room. it can get messy but mess stresses me out (when it’s not in my lab... that’s a whole different story) so it tends to stay tidy

Are you emotional, depressed, ect?: i’d say i’m an emotional person, sure. luckily i don’t have any mental illnesses.

Would you consider yourself straight, gay, bi, or something else? Why?: i’d say i’m straight, have never thought of guys in that way before but i wouldn’t completely take it off the table. i have been in love with sof since i was about thirteen though and haven’t really though about anyone else other than alexa, so i guess that answers that question

How ticklish are you? Where are you ticklish?: i’m ticklish everywhere. literally everywhere. mainly around my waist, but my feet are super ticklish too

What do you do when you are bored?: i watch old re-runs of sci fi shows, and browse the internet for plotholes. or go see sof. either’s good

What do you envy most?: i envy people advancing in their research. i’ve been at a standstill for months and i don’t know why, and it’s driving me mad

[grigori77]

Summer 2019′s Movies - My Top Ten Favourite Films (Part 2)

The Top Ten:

IMPORTANT NOTE:  You WILL NOT find It Chapter 2 here, but that does not mean it isn’t awesome.  I saw it AFTER I had sompleted this but while it was still editing.,  Technically it’s part of the Autumn/Winter period anyway, opening as it did in September.  Undoubtedly look out for it at the end of the year when I post my Top 30 for the year.

10.  CAPTIVE STATE – WAY back in 2011, Rupert Wyatt followed up his impressive directorial debut The Escapist with an even more astounding show helming sci-fi franchise reboot Rise of the Planet of the Apes, and I knew here was a talent it was definitely gonna be worth my while to watch in future.  Then the years ticked by and he spectacularly failed to follow it up, and I began to think he might become one of those frustrating auteur talents that explode onto the scene, wow us with their wares and then just STOP, like Donnie Darko’s Ryan Kelly or Blade’s Stephen Norrington.  I was just about to give up hope when Wyatt returned with this dark and troubling skewed take on the alien invasion trope, but now, perversely, this film’s failing fortunes make me think his career might just take a swan dive after all, and as far as I’m concerned, on the evidence of the final film, that would be a crying shame.  Instead of telling the story of how the Earth falls to the conquering might of invading alien forces, Captive State concentrates on what happens after, focusing on a humanity stagnating under the thumb of an all-powerful occupying force, the collaborating police force that maintains discipline on the populace through tagging and intrusive surveillance, and the deep cover resistance movement that’s built up in the eight years since “The Legislators” took over.  The main narrative focus of the story is Gabriel Drummond (Moonlight’s Ashton Sanders), a downtrodden Chicago youth working a menial job but dreaming of getting out with his pregnant girlfriend, who discovers a tentative connection to the underground resistance when his brother Rafe (White Boy Rick’s Jonathan Majors), whom he previously thought was dead, re-enters his life with a desperate request.  Unfortunately Gabriel has also come to the attention of local cop Will Mulligan (John Goodman), who’s looking to use this connection to finally penetrate the “dangerous terrorist element” his office has been working for years to eradicate.  This is about as far from the classical invasion action territory of films like Independence Day, Skyline or even Signs as you can get, playing out much more like a World War 2 occupation thriller, and this is, in my opinion, one of its great strengths – there’s a palpable, knife-edged tension throughout, Wyatt cranking up the suspense as each new plot development ups the stakes for all involved, and when that tension does eventually break it does so in suitably explosive style, leading to some taut and harrowing set-pieces, while the director and his co-writer Erica Beeney pull off some impressive twists and skilful rug-pulls that consistently surprise.  Indeed, this is one of the most skilfully written pieces of science fiction I’ve come across for a good while, brimming with big ideas and asking some suitably challenging questions throughout, before finally paying off our patience with a suitably powerful climax.  It’s also extremely well-performed by a uniformly impressive ensemble cast – Goodman offers a performance of cool subtlety that proves the equal to much of his showier work on hits like 10 Cloverfield Lane and The Big Lebowski, while Sanders and Majors are both exceptional in what should have been major breakthrough roles that really built on their already impressive debuts, and there’s quality support from the likes of Machine Gun Kelly, Vera Farmiga, Alan Ruck, Kevin Dunn and Madeline Brewer.  This is DEFINITELY one of the most robust and challenging pieces of scif-fi cinema I’ve seen this decade, and it certainly does deserve a lot more attention and appreciation than it’s received – it essentially bombed on its long-delayed release and suffered from painfully mixed, sometimes quite negative reviews, and I genuinely don’t understand either.  This is an EXCELLENT film, and it’s a strong indicator of just what a great talent Rupert Wyatt is – I just have to hope this hasn’t ruined his chances for the future, because I couldn’t bear seeing him pull an undeserved vanishing act like so many others …

9.  GODZILLA: KING OF MONSTERS – back in 2014, rising star director Gareth Edwards (already one-to-watch thanks to the sleeper hit success of his debut Monsters) proved he wasn’t going to be a one-hit-wonder when he aced his first major studio gig, reinventing Japanese superstar property Godzilla for western audiences and EFFORTLESSLY wiping out the appalling stigma of Roland Emmerich’s underwhelming previous attempt (needless to say he was then a no-brainer to helm the first Star Wars spinoff movie, Rogue One, but that’s another, even more awesome story). Suffice to say, the Big G’s name was good in western cinema again, and Legendary Pictures swiftly put their planned Monsterverse franchise into action, building on this solid foundation with a similarly stylish “prequel” in 2017’s Kong: Skull Island, with a showdown between the two screen icons intended further down the line.  The next major hurdle, however, was this super-important follow-up, intended to get all the gears turning – if THIS ONE flunked, the Monsterverse would take a massive nosedive.  Did it pull it off?  Not quite … turns out this one’s not looking likely to scrape even on its massive investment, never mind make a profit, but that sure ain’t for lack of trying. Sure, the plot’s a bit of a far-fetched muddle and, as with its predecessor, the human characters are drawn in broad strokes and somewhat lacking in real spark, but the spectacle’s still there in spades and besides, the REAL selling point of these movies has always been their more gigantic characters.  Godzilla’s just as much of a colossal badass as he was in the first film, still a skyscraper-high bruiser with a moody mean streak and some suitably apocalyptic bad breath, but ultimately just the kind of monumental reptile you want on your side in a cataclysmic scrap, and he’s sure got his work cut out for him with one serious collection of similarly massive monsters crawling out of the woodwork (or, in this case, compromised secure black sites controlled by covert Titan management organisation Monarch) – they’re a colourful bunch, from returning nasty Muto to newcomers Rodan and, particularly memorable, the beautiful but deadly Mothra, and most of them are heeding the call of the film’s TRUE scene stealer, triple-headed rival alpha Titan King Ghidorah, who is in every way a genuinely viable nemesis for the Big G himself.  Needless to say, the BIG stars are presented without compromise throughout, as gargantuan and terrifying as their reputations make them out to be, and whenever they’re on screen it just lights up, the visual effects budget working overtime and all the money’s up there on the screen, while the property damage quota shoots through the roof in suitably pulse-racing style … and yet again, the human story does kind of get buried in the fallout.  Not that they’re a completely unmemorable lot – it’s great to see Ken Watanabe return as elegantly noble Monarch honcho Dr Ishiro Serazawa, along with his assistant Dr Vivienne Graham (another winning turn from Sally Hawkins), and the rest of Monarch gets much stronger representation this time round as we’re introduced to a crew that includes Bradley Whitford, Ice Cube’s son O’Shea Jackson Jr. (Straight Outta Compton) and Aisha Hinds, while there’s a typically classy bad guy turn from Charles Dance as Alan Jonah, the amoral ex-soldier leading an eco-terrorist group who (for baffling reasons) want to awaken all the Titans at once so they can fight for supremacy.  The main narrative focus, however, is on the fractured family unit of former Monarch specialist Dr Mark Russell (Super 8’s Kyle Chandler) and his fellow scientist wife Emma and daughter Madison (Vera Farmiga and Stranger Things’ Millie Bobby Brown), who have both been kidnapped by Jonah, a story that’s contrived and clumsily written, shot through with plot-holes when the twists aren’t painfully telegraphed ahead of time, and Brown barely gets ANYTHING to do other than be scared or stubborn, but they still give it their all and, since they’re all great actors, they largely win out against the writing.  This certainly isn’t the best movie released this year, definitely leaning more towards the guilty pleasure category, but there’s more than enough good here to outweigh the bad, so this is definitely one of those wonderful movies where you get PLENTY out of it if you just sit back and GO WITH IT.  It’s certainly got a strong director and co-writer in Michael Dougherty, who cut his teeth working for Bryan Singer on X2 and Superman Returns (which was similarly flawed, but still enjoyable in its own right) before making his big break behind the camera on Krampus, and for all its clunkiness it wins you over with its big-wow factor, can-do attitude and industrial-sized bucket-loads of heart and emotional heft, as well as a particularly cracking score from Bear McCreary, one of the most deservedly well respected composers working on both the big and small screens today, so in spite of the flaws this still deserves to be counted as a pretty rousing success.  Thankfully Godzilla Vs. King Kong is still greenlit and scheduled to arrive next spring, so there’s still life in the old lizards yet – long live the King indeed.

8.  DARK PHOENIX – wow, this really has been a summer for mistreated sequels, hasn’t it? There’s a seriously stinky cloud of controversy surrounding what is now, in light of recent developments between Disney and Twentieth Century Fox, all but QUARANTEED to be the last true Singer-era X-Men movie, a film which saw two mooted release dates (first November 2018 then this February, before finally limping onto screens with very little fanfare in June, almost as if Fox wanted to bury it.  Certainly rumours of its compromise were rife, particularly regarding supposed rushed reshoots because of clashing similarities with Marvel’s major tent-pole release Captain Marvel (and given the all-conquering nature of the MCU there was no way they were having that, was there?), so like many I was expecting a clunky mess, maybe even a true stinker to rival X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  In truth, while it’s not perfect, the end result is nothing like the turd we all feared – the final film is, in fact, largely a success, worthy of favourable comparison with its stronger predecessors.  It certainly makes much needed amends for the disappointing mismanagement of the source comics’ legendary Dark Phoenix saga in 2006’s decidedly compromised original X-Men trilogy capper The Last Stand, treating the story with the due reverence and respect it deserves as well as serving as a suitably powerful send-off for more than one beloved key character.  Following the “rebooted” path of the post-Days of Future Past timeline, it’s now 1992, and after the world-changing events of Apocalypse the X-Men have now become a respected superhero team with legions of fans and their own personal line to the White House, while mutants at large have now mostly become accepted by the regular humans around them.  Then a hastily planned mission into space takes a turn for the worst and Jean Grey (Game of Thrones’ Sophie Turner) winds up absorbing an immensely powerful, thoroughly inexplicable cosmic force that makes her go powers haywire while also knocking loose repressed childhood traumas Professor Charles Xavier (James McAvoy) would rather had stayed buried, sending her on a dangerous spiral out of control which leads to a destructive confrontation and the inadvertent death of a teammate. Needless to the situation soon becomes desperate as Jean goes on the run and the world starts to turn against them all once again … all in all, then, it’s business as usual for the cast and crew of one of Fox’s flagship franchises, and it SHOULD have gone off without a hitch. When Bryan Singer opted not to return this time around (instead setting his sights on Queen biopic Bohemian Rhapsody), key series writer Simon Kinberg stepped into the breach for his directorial debut, and it turns out he’s got a real talent for it, giving us just the kind of robust, pacy, thrilling action-packed epic his compatriot would have delivered, filled with the same thumping great set-pieces (the final act’s stirring, protracted train battle is the unequivocal highlight here), well-observed character beats and emotional resonance we’ve come to expect from the series as a whole (then again, he does know these movies back to frond having at least co-written his fair share). The cast, similarly, are all on top form – McAvoy and Michael Fassbender (as fan favourite Erik Lehnsherr, aka Magneto) know their roles so well now they can do this stuff in their sleep, but we still get to see them explore interesting new facets of their characters (particularly McAvoy, who gets to reveal an intriguing dark side to the Professor we’ve only ever seen hinted at before now), while Turner finally gets to really breathe in a role which felt a little stiff and underexplored in her series debut in Apocalypse (she EASILY forges the requisite connective tissue to Famke Janssen’s more mature and assured take in the earlier films); conversely Tye Sheridan (Cyclops), Alexandra Shipp (Storm), Kodi Smit-McPhee (Nightcrawler) and Evan Peters (Quicksilver) get somewhat short shrift but nonetheless do A LOT with what little they have, and at least Jennifer Lawrence and Nicholas Hoult still get to do plenty of dramatic heavy lifting as the last of Xavier’s original class, Raven (Mystique) and Hank McCoy (Beast); the only real weak link in the cast is the villain, Vuk, a shape-shifting alien whose quest to seize the power Jean’s appropriated is murkily defined at best, but at least Jessica Chastain manages to invest her with enough icy menace to keep things from getting boring.  All in all, then, this is very much a case of business as usual, Kinberg and co keeping the action thundering along at a suitably cracking pace throughout (powered by a typically epic score from Hans Zimmer), and the film only really comes off the rails in its final moments, when that aforementioned train finally comes off its tracks and the reported reshoots must surely kick in – as a result this is, to me, most reminiscent of previous X-flick The Wolverine, which was a rousing success for the majority of its runtime, only coming apart in its finale thanks to that bloody ridiculous robot samurai. The climax is, therefore, a disappointment, too clunky and sudden and overly neat in its denouement (and we really could have done with a proper examination of the larger social impact of these events), but it’s little enough that it doesn’t spoil what came before … which just makes the film’s mismanagement and resulting failure, as well as its subsequent treatment from critics and fans alike, all the more frustrating. This film deserved much better, but ultimately looks set to be disowned and glossed over by most of the fanbase as the property as a whole goes through the inevitable overhaul now that Disney/Marvel owns Fox and plans to bring the X-Men and their fellow mutants into the MCU fold.  I feel genuinely sorry for the one remaining X-film, The New Mutants, which is surely destined for spectacular failure after its similarly shoddy round of reschedules finally comes to an end next summer …

7.  FAST COLOR – intriguingly, the most INTERESTING superhero movie I’ve encountered so far this year is NOT a major franchise property, or even a comic book adapted to the screen at all, but a wholly original indie which snuck in very much under the radar on its release but is surely destined for cult greatness in the future, not least due to some much-deserved critical acclaim.  Set in an unspecified future where it hasn’t rained for years, a homeless vagabond named Ruth (Gugu Mbatha-Raw) is making her aimless way across a desolate American Midwest, tormented by violent seizures which cause strange localised earthquakes, and hunted by Bill (Argo’s Christopher Denham), a rogue scientist who wants to capture her so he can study her abilities.  Ultimately she’s left with no other recourse than to run home, sheltering with her mother Bo (Middle of Nowhere and Orange is the New Black’s Lorraine Toussaint), and her young daughter Lila (The Passage’s Saniyya Sidney), both of whom also have weird and wondrous powers of their own.  As the estranged family reconnect, Ruth finally learns to control her powers as she’s forced to confront her own troubled past, but as Bill closes in it looks like their idyll might be short-lived … this might only be the second feature of writer-director Julie Hart (who cut her teeth penning well-regarded indie western The Keeping Room before making her own debut helming South By Southwest Film Festival hit Miss Stevens), but it’s a blinding statement of intent for the future, a deceptively understated thing of beauty that eschews classic superhero cinema conventions of big spectacle and rousing action in favour of a quiet, introspective character-driven story where the unveiling and exploration of Ruth and her kin’s abilities are secondary to the examination of how their familial dynamics work (or often DON’T), while Hart and cinematographer Michael Fimognari (probably best known for his frequent work for Mike Flanagan, including forthcoming Stephen King horror Doctor Sleep) bring a ruined but bleakly beautiful future to life through inventively understated production design and sweeping, dramatic vistas largely devoid of visual effects.  Subtlety is the watchword, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t fireworks here, it’s just that they’re generally performance-based – awards-darling Mbatha-Raw (Belle) gives a raw, heartfelt performance, painting Rith in vivid shades of grey, while Toussaint is restrained but powerfully memorable and Sidney builds on her already memorable work to deliver what might be her best turn to date, and there are strong supporting turns from Denham (who makes his nominal villain surprisingly sympathetic) and Hollywood great David Strathairn as gentle small town sheriff Ellis.  Leisurely paced and understated it may be, but this is still an incendiary piece of work, sure to become a breakout sleeper hit for a filmmaking talent from whom I expect GREAT THINGS in the future, and since the story’s been picked up for expansion into a TV series with Hart at in charge that looks like a no-brainer.  And it most assuredly IS a bona fide superhero movie, despite appearances to the contrary …

6.  ONCE UPON A TIME IN HOLLYWOOD – since his explosion onto the scene twenty-seven years ago with his runaway smash debut Reservoir Dogs, Quentin Tarantino has become one of the most important filmmakers of his generation, a true master of the cinematic art form who consistently delivers moving picture masterpieces that thrill, entertain, challenge and amuse audiences worldwide … at least those who can stomach his love of unswerving violence, naughty talk and morally bankrupt antiheroes and despicably brutal villains who are often little more than a shade different from one another.  Time has moved on, though, and while he’s undoubtedly been one of the biggest influences on the way cinema has changed over the past quarter century, there are times now that it’s starting to feel like the scene is moving on in favour of younger, fresher blood with their own ideas.   I think Tarantino can sense this himself, because he recently made a powerful statement – after he’s made his tenth film, he plans to retire.  Given that OUATIH is his NINTH film, that deadline is already looming, and we unashamed FANS of his films are understandably aghast over this turn of events.  Thankfully he remains as uncompromisingly awesome a writer-director as ever, delivering another gold standard five-star flick which is also most definitely his most PERSONAL work to date, quite simply down to the fact that it’s a film ABOUT film. Sure, it has a plot (of sorts, anyway), revolving around the slow decline of the career of former TV star Rick Dalton (Leonardo Dicaprio), who languishes in increasing anonymity in Hollywood circa 1969 as his former western hero image is being slowly eroded by an increasingly hacky workload guest-starring on various syndicated shows as a succession of punching-bag heavies for the hero to wale on, while his only real friend is his one-time stunt double, Cliff Booth (Brad Pitt), a former WW2 hero with a decidedly tarnished reputation of his own; meanwhile new neighbours have moved in next door to further distract him – hot-as-shit young director Roman Polanski (Rafal Zawierucha), riding high on the success of Rosemary’s Baby, and his new wife Sharon Tate (Margot Robbie). Certainly this all drives the film, along with real-life events that involving one of the darkest crimes in modern American history, but a lot of the time the plot is largely coincidental – Quentin uses it as a springboard to wax lyrical about his very favourite subject and pay loving (if sometimes irreverently satirical) tribute to the very business he’s been indulging in with such great success since 1992.  Sure, it’s also about “Helter Skelter” and the long shadow cast by Charles Manson and his band of murderous misfits, but these are largely incidental, as we’re treated to long, entertaining interludes as we follow Rick on a shoot as the bad guy in the pilot for the Lancer TV series, visit the notorious Spahn Ranch with Cliff as he’s unwittingly drawn into the lion’s den of the deadly Manson Family, join Robbie’s Tate as she watches “herself” in The Wrecking Crew, and enjoy a brilliant montage in which we follow Rick’s adventures in Spaghetti westerns (and Eurospy cinema) after he’s offered a chance to change his flagging fortunes, before the film finally builds to a seemingly inevitable, fateful conclusion that Tarantino then, in sneakily OTT Inglourious Basterds style, mischievously turns on its head with a devilish game of “What If”.  The results are a thoroughly engrossing and endlessly entertaining romp through the seedier side of Hollywood and a brilliant warts-and-all examination of the craft’s inner workings that, interestingly, reveals as much about the Business today as it does about how it was way back into Golden Age the film portrays, all while delivering bucket-loads of QT’s trademark cool, swagger, idiosyncratic genius and to-die-for dialogue and character-work, and, of course, a typically exceptional all-star cast firing on all cylinders.  Dicaprio and Pitt are both spectacular (Brad is endearingly taciturn, playing it wonderfully close to the vest throughout, while Leo is simply ON FIRE, delivering a mercurial performance EASILY on a par with his work on Shutter Island and The Wolf of Wall Street – could this be good enough to snag him a second Oscar?), while Robbie consistently endears us to Tate as she EFFORTLESSLY brings the fallen star back to life, and there’s an incredible string of amazing supporting turns from established talent and up-and-comers alike, from Kurt Russell, Al Pacino and a very spiky Bruce Dern to Mike Moh (in a FLAWLESS take on Bruce Lee), Margaret Qualley, Austin Butler and in particular Julia Butters as precocious child star Trudi Fraser.  Packed with winning references, homages, pastiches and ingenious little in-jokes, handled with UTMOST respect for the true life subjects at all times and shot all the way through with his characteristic flair and quirky, deliciously dark sense of humour, this is cinema very much of the Old School, and EVERY INCH a Tarantino flick.  With only one more film to go the implied end of his career seems much too close, but if he delivers one more like this he’ll leave behind a legacy that ANY filmmaker would be proud of.

5.  CRAWL – summer 2019’s runner-up horror offering marks a rousing return to form for a genre talent who’s FINALLY delivered on the impressive promise of his early work – Alexandre Aja made a startling debut with Switchblade Romance, which led to his big break helming the cracking remake of slasher stalwart The Hills Have Eyes, but then he went SPECTACULARLY off the rails when he made the truly abysmal Piranha 3D, which I wholeheartedly regard as one of THE VERY WORST FILMS EVER MADE IN ALL OF HISTORY.  He took a big step back in the right direction with the admittedly flawed but ultimately enjoyable and evocative Horns (based on the novel by Stephen King’s son Joe Hill), but it’s with this stripped back, super-tight man-against-nature survival horror that the Aja of old has TRULY returned to us.  IN SPADES.  Seriously, I personally think this is his best film to date – there’s no fat on it at all, going from a simple set-up STRAIGHT into a precision-crafted exercise in sustained tension that relentlessly grips right up to the end credits. The film is largely just a two-hander – Maze Runner star Kaya Scodelario plays Haley Keller, a Florida college student and star swimmer who ventures into the heart of a Category 5 hurricane to make sure her estranged father, Dave (Saving Private Ryan’s Barry Pepper), is okay after he drops off the grid.  Finding their old family home in a state of disrepair and slowly flooding, she does a last minute check of the crawl-space underneath, only to discover her father badly wounded and a couple of hungry alligators stalking the dark, cramped, claustrophobic confines.  With the flood waters rising and communications cut off, Haley and Dave must use every reserve of strength, ingenuity and survival instinct to keep each other alive in the face of increasingly daunting odds … even with a premise this simple, there was plenty of potential for this to become an overblown, clunky mess in the wrong hands (a la Snakes On a Plane), so it’s a genuinely great thing that Aja really is back at the height of his powers, milking every fraught and suspenseful set-piece to its last drop of exquisite piano-wire tension and putting his actors through hell without a reprieve in sight.  Thankfully it’s not JUST about scares and atmosphere, though – there’s a genuinely strong family drama at the heart of the story that helps us invest in these two, Scodelario delivering a phenomenally complex performance as she peels back Haley’s layers, from stubborn pedant, through vulnerable child of divorce, to ironclad born survivor, while reconnecting with her emotionally raw, repentantly open father, played with genuine naked intensity in a career best turn from Pepper.  Their chemistry is INCREDIBLY strong, making every scene a joy even as it works your nerves and tugs on your heartstrings, and as a result you DESPERATELY want to see them make it out in one piece.  Not that Aja makes it easy for them – the gators are an impressively palpable threat, proper scary beasties even if they are largely (admittedly impressively executed) digital effects, while the storm is almost a third character in itself, becoming as much of an elemental nemesis as its scaly co-stars.  Blessedly brief (just 87 minutes!) and with every second wrung out for maximum impact, this is survival horror at its most brutally, simplistically effective, a deliciously vicious, primal chill-ride that thoroughly rewards from start to finish.  Welcome back, Mr Aja.  We’ve missed you.

4.  BRIGHTBURN – torpedoing Crawl right out of the water is this refreshing, revisionist superhero movie that takes one of the most classic mythologies in the genre and turns it on its head with TERRIFYING results. The basic premise is an absolute blinder – what if, when he crashed in small-town America as a baby, Superman had turned out to be a bad seed?  Unsurprising, then, that it came from James Gunn, who here produces a screenplay by his brother and cousin Brian and Mark (best known for penning the likes of Journey 2: the Mysterious Island, but nobody’s perfect) and the directorial big break of his old mate David Yarovesky (whose only previous feature is obscure sci-fi horror The Hive) – Gunn is, of course, an old pro at taking classic comic book tropes and creating something completely new with them, having previously done so with HUGE success on cult indie black comedy Super and, in particular, Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy movies, and his fingerprints are ALL OVER this one too.  The Hunger Games’ Elizabeth Banks (who starred in Gunn’s own directorial debut Slither) and David Denman (The Office) are Tori and Kyle Breyer, a farming couple living in Brightburn, Kansas, who are trying for a baby when a mysterious pod falls from the sky onto their land, containing an infant boy.  As you’d expect, they adopt him, determined to keep his origin a secret, and for the first twelve of his life all seems perfectly fine – Brandon’s growing up into an intelligent, artistic child who loves his family.  Then his powers manifest and he starts to change – not just physically (he’s impervious to harm, incredibly strong, has laser eyes and the ability to disrupt electronic devices … oh, and he can fly, too), but also in personality, as he becomes cold, distant, even cruel as he begins to demonstrate some seriously sociopathic tendencies.  As his parents begin to fear what he’s becoming, things begin to spiral out of control and people start to disappear or turn up brutally murdered, and it becomes clear that Brandon might actually be something out of a nightmare … needless to say this is superhero cinema as full-on horror, Brandon’s proclivities leading to some proper nasty moments once he really starts to cut loose, and there’s no mistaking this future super for one of the good guys – he pulverises bones, shatters faces and melts skulls with nary a twitch, just the tiniest hint of a smile.  It’s an astonishing performance from newcomer Jackson A. Dunn, who perfectly captures the nuanced subtleties as Brandon goes from happy child to lethal psychopath, clearly demonstrating that he’s gonna be an incredible talent in future; the two grown leads, meanwhile, are both excellent, Denman growing increasingly haunted and exasperated as he tries to prove his own son is a wrong ‘un, while Banks has rarely been better, perfectly embodying a mother desperately clinging to the idea that her son is innocent no matter how compelling the evidence becomes, and there’s quality support from Breaking Bad’s Matt Jones and Search Party’s Meredith Hagner as Brandon’s aunt and uncle, Noah and Meredith, and Becky Wahlstrom the mother of one of his school-friends, who seems to see him for what he is right from the start.  Dark, suspenseful and genuinely nasty, this is definitely not your typical superhero movie, often playing like Kick-Ass’ even more twisted cousin, and there are times when it displays some of the same edgy, black-hearted sense of humour, too.  In other words, it’s all very James Gunn.  It’s one sweet piece of work, everyone involved showing real skill and devotion, and Yarovesky in particular proves he’ll definitely be one-to-watch in the future.  There are already plans for a potential sequel, and given where this particular little superhero universe seems to be heading I think it could be something pretty special, so fair to say I can’t wait.

3.  FAST & FURIOUS PRESENTS HOBBS & SHAW – it’s official, this summer’s most OTT movie is THE MOST FUN I’ve had at the cinema so far this year, a genuinely batshit crazy, pure bonkers rollercoaster ride of a film I just couldn’t get enough of, truly the perfect sum of all its baffling parts.  The Fast & Furious franchise has always revelled in its extremes, as subtle as a brick and very much playing to the blockbuster, popcorn movie crowd right from the start, but it wasn’t until Fate of the Furious (yup, ridiculous title, says it all) that it really started to play to the inherent ridiculousness of its overall setup, paving the way for this first crack at a new spin-off series for the post Vin Diesel years.  Needless to say this one has fully embraced the sheer ludicrousness, and director David Leitch is the perfect choice to shepherd it into the future, having previously mastered OTT action through John Wick and Atomic Blonde before helming manic screwball comedy Deadpool 2, which certainly is the strongest comparison point here – Hobbs & Shaw is every bit as loud, violent, chaotic and thoroughly irreverent, definitely playing up the inherent comic potential at the core of the material as he cranks up the humour. Dwayne Johnson and Jason Statham take centre stage now as, respectively, DSS agent Luke Hobbs and former SAS black operative Deckard Shaw, the ultimate action movie odd couple once again forced to work together to foil the bad guy and save the world from a potentially cataclysmic disaster.  Specifically Brixton Lore (Idris Elba), a self-proclaimed “black superman” enhanced with cybernetic implants and genetic manipulation to turn him into the ultimate warrior, who plans to use a lethal designer supervirus to eradicate half of humanity (as supervillains tend to do), but there’s one small flaw in his plan – the virus has been stolen by Hattie Shaw (Mission: Impossible – Fallout’s Vanessa Kirby), a rogue MI6 agent who also happens to be Deckard’s sister.  Got all that?  Yup, the movie really is as mad as it sounds, but that’s very much part of the charm – there’s an enormous amount of fun to be had in just giving in and going along with the madness of it all, as Hobbs and the two Shaws bounce from one over-the-top, ludicrously destructive set-piece to the next, kicking plenty of arse along the way when they’re not jumping out of tall buildings or driving fast cars at ludicrous speeds in heavy traffic, and when they’re not doing that they’re bickering with enthusiasm, each exchange crackling with exquisite hate-hate chemistry and liberally laced with hilarious dialogue delivered with gleeful, fervent venom (turns out there’s few things so enjoyable a watching Johnson and Statham verbally rip each other a new one), and the two action cinema heavyweights have never been better than they are here, each bringing the very best performances of their respective careers out of each other as they vacillate, while Kirby holds her own with consummate skill that goes to show she’s got a bright future of her own.  As for Idris Elba, the one-time potential future Bond deserves to be remembered as one of the all-time great screen villains ever, investing Brixton with the perfect combination of arrogant swagger and lethal menace to steal every scene he’s in while simultaneously proving he can be just as big a badass in the action stakes; Leitch also scatters a selection of familiar faces from his previous movies throughout a solid supporting cast which also includes the likes of Fear the Walking Dead’s Cliff Curtis, From Dusk Till Dawn’s Eiza Gonzalez and Helen Mirren (who returns as Deckard and Hattie’s mum Queenie Shaw), while there’s more than one genuinely brilliant surprise cameo to enjoy.  As we’ve come to expect, the action sequences are MASSIVE, powered by nitrous oxide and high octane as property is demolished and vehicles are driven with reckless abandon when our protagonists aren’t engaged bruising, bone-crunching fights choreographed with all the flawless skill you’d expect from a director who used to be a professional stuntman, but this time round the biggest fun comes from the downtime, as the aforementioned banter becomes king.  It’s an interesting makeover for the franchise, going from heavyweight action stalwart to comedy gold, and it’s direction I hope they’ll maintain for the inevitable follow-up – barring Fast Five, this is the best Fast & Furious to date, and a strong indicator of how it should go to keep conquering multiplexes in future.  Sign me up for more, please.

2.  SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME – this summer’s been something of a decompression period for fans of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, with many of us recovering from the sheer emotional DEVASTATION of the grand finale of Phase 3, Avengers: Endgame, so the main Blockbuster Season’s entry really needed to be light and breezy, a blessed relief after all that angst and loss, much like Ant-Man & the Wasp was last year as it followed Infinity War.  And it is, by and large – this is as light-hearted and irreverent as its predecessor, following much the same goofy teen comedy template as Homecoming, but there’s no denying that there’s a definite emotional through-line from Endgame that looms large here, a sense of loss the film fearlessly addresses right from the start, sometimes with a bittersweet sense of humour, sometimes straight.  But whichever path the narrative chooses, the film stays true to this underlying truth – there have been great and painful changes in this world, and we can’t go back to how it was before, no matter how hard we try, but then perhaps we shouldn’t.  This is certainly central to our young hero’s central arc – Peter Parker (Tom Holland) is in mourning, and not even the prospect of a trip around Europe with his newly returned classmates, together with the chance to finally get close to M.J. (Zendaya), maybe even start a relationship, can entirely distract him from the gaping hole in his life.  Still, he’s gonna give it his best shot, but it looks like fate has other plans for our erstwhile Spider-Man as superspy extraordinaire Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson) comes calling, basically hijacking his vacation with an Avengers-level threat to deal with, aided by enigmatic inter-dimensional superhero Quentin Beck, aka Mysterio (Jake Gyllenhaal), who has a personal stake in the mission, but as he’s drawn deeper into the fray Peter discovers that things may not be quite as they seem.  Of course, giving anything more away would of course dumps HEINOUS spoilers on the precious few who haven’t yet seen the film – suffice to say that the narrative drops a MAJOR sea-change twist at the midpoint that’s EVERY BIT as fiendish as the one Shane Black gave us in Iron Man 3 (although the more knowledgeable fans of the comics will likely see it coming), and also provides Peter with JUST the push he needs to get his priorities straight and just GET OVER IT once and for all.  Tom Holland again proves his character is the most endearing teenage geek in cinematic history, his spectacular super-powered abilities and winning underdog perseverance in the face of impossible odds still paradoxically tempered by the fact he’s as loveably hopeless as ever outside his suit; Mysterio himself, meanwhile, frequently steals the film out from under him, the strong bromance they develop certainly mirroring what Peter had with Tony Stark, and it’s a major credit to Gyllenhaal that he so perfectly captures the essential dualities of the character, investing Beck with a roguish but subtly self-deprecating charm that makes him EXTREMELY easy to like, but ultimately belying something much more complex hidden beneath it; it’s also nice to see so many beloved familiar faces returning, particularly the fantastically snarky and self-assured Zendaya, Jacob Batalon (once again pure comic gold as Peter’s adorably nerdy best friend Ned), Tony Revolori (as his self-important class rival Flash Thompson) and, of course, Marisa Tomei as beloved Aunt May, as well as Jackson and Cobie Smoulders as dynamite SHIELD duo Fury and his faithful lieutenant Maria Hill, and best of all Jon Favreau gets a MUCH bigger role this time round as Happy Hogan.  Altogether this is very much business as usual for the MCU, the well-oiled machine unsurprisingly turning out another near-perfect gem of a superhero flick that ticks all the required boxes, but a big part of the film’s success should be attributed to returning director Jon Watts, effectively building on the granite-strong foundations of Homecoming with the help of fellow alumni Chris McKenna and Erik Sommers on screenplay duty, for a picture that feels both comfortingly familiar and rewardingly fresh, delivering on all the required counts with thrilling action and eye candy spectacle, endearingly quirky character-based charm and a typically winning sense of humour, and plenty of understandably powerful emotional heft.  And, like always, there are plenty of fan-pleasing winks and nods and revelations, and the pre-requisite mid- and post-credit teasers too, both proving to be some proper game-changing corkers.  The future of the property may be in doubt, but this is still another winner from the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but then was there really ever any doubt?

1.  JOHN WICK CHAPTER 3 – needless to say, those who know me should be in no doubt why THIS is at the top of my list for summer 2019 – this has EVERYTHING I love in movies and more. Keanu Reeves is back in the very best role he’s ever played, unstoppable, unbeatable, un-killable hitman John Wick, who, when we rejoin him mere moments after the end of 2017’s phenomenal Chapter 2, is in some SERIOUSLY deep shit, having been declared Incommunicado by the High Table (the all-powerful ruling elite who run this dark and deadly shadowy underworld) after circumstances forced him to gun down an enemy on the grounds of the New York Continental Hotel (the inviolable sanctuary safe-house for all denizens of the underworld), as his last remaining moments of peace tick away and he desperately tries to find somewhere safe to weather the initial storm.  Needless to say the opening act of the film is ONE LONG ACTION SEQUENCE as John careers through the rain-slick backstreets of New York, fighting off attackers left and right with his signature brutal efficiency and unerring skill, perfectly setting up what’s to come – namely a head-spinning, exhausting parade of spectacular set pieces that each put EVERY OTHER offering in any other film this year to shame.  Returning director Chad Stahelski again proves that he’s one of the very best helmsmen around for this kind of stuff, delivering FAR beyond the call on every count as he creates a third entry to a series that continues to go from strength to strength, while Keanu once again demonstrates what a phenomenal screen action GOD he is, gliding through each scenario with poise, precision and just the right balance of brooding charm and so-very-done-with-this-shit intensity and a thoroughly enviable athletic physicality that really does put him on the same genre footing as Tom Cruise.  As with the first two chapters, what plot there is is largely an afterthought, a facility to fuel the endless wave of stylish, wince-inducing, thoroughly exhilarating violent bloodshed, as John cuts another bloody swathe through the underworld searching for a way to remove the lethal bounty from his head while an Adjudicator from the High Table (Orange Is the New Black’s Asia Kate Dillon) arrives in New York to settle affairs with Winston (Ian McShane), the manager of the New York Continental, and the Bowery King (Laurence Fishburne) for helping John create this mess in the first place.  McShane and Fishburne are both HUGE entertainment in their fantastically nuanced large-than-life roles, effortlessly stealing each of their scenes, while the ever-brilliant Lance Reddick also makes a welcome return as Winston’s faithful right-hand Charon, the concierge of the Continental, who finally gets to show off his own hardcore action chops when trouble arrives at their doorstep, and there are plenty of franchise newcomers who make strong impressions here – Dillon is the epitome of icy imperiousness, perfectly capturing the haughty superiority you’d expect from a direct representative of the High Table, Halle Berry gets a frustratingly rare opportunity to show just how seriously badass she can be as former assassin Sofia, the manager of the Casablanca branch of the Continental and one of John’s only remaining allies, Game of Thrones’ Jerome Flynn is smarmy and entitled as her boss Berrada, and Anjelica Houston is typically classy as the Director, the ruthless head of New York’s Ruska Roma (John’s former “alma mater”, basically). The one that REALLY sticks in the memory, though, is Mark Dacascos, finally returning to the big time after frustrating years languishing in lurid straight-to-video action dreck and lowbrow TV hosting duties thanks to a BLISTERING turn as Zero, a truly brilliant semi-comic creation who routinely runs away with the film – he’s the Japanese master ninja the Adjudicator tasks with dispensing her will, a thoroughly lethal killer who may well be as skilled as our hero, but his deadliness is amusingly tempered by the fact that he’s also a total nerd who HERO WORSHIPS John Wick, adorably geeking out whenever their paths cross.  Their long-gestating showdown provides a suitably magnificent climax to the action, but there’s plenty to enjoy in the meantime, as former stuntman Stahelski and co keep things interestingly fluid as they constantly change up the dynamics and add new elements, from John using kicking horses in a stable and knives torn out of display cases in a weaponry museum to dispatch foes on the fly, through Sofia’s use of attack dogs to make the Moroccan portion particularly nasty and a SPECTACULAR high octane sequence in which John fights katana-wielding assailants on speeding motorcycles, to the film’s UNDISPUTABLE highlight, an astounding fight in which John takes on Zero’s disciples (including two of the most impressive guys from The Raid movies, Cecep Arif Rahman and Yayan Ruhian) in (and through) an expansive chamber made up entirely of glass walls and floors.  Altogether then, this is business as usual for a franchise that’s consistently set the bar for the genre as a whole, an intensely bruising, blissfully blood-drenched epic that cranks its action up to eleven, shot with delicious neon-drenched flair and glossy graphic novel visual excess, a consistently inspired exercise in fascinating world-building that genuinely makes you want to live among its deadly denizens (even though you probably wouldn’t live very long).  The denouement sets things up for an inevitable sequel, and I’m not at all surprised – right from the first film I knew the concept had some serious legs, and it’s just too good to quit yet. Which is just how I like it …

[drink-n-watch]

Hello one and all, it’s once again time for my seasonal dose of adorable underdressed anime fun with Matt! My collaborations with him are my chance to see some shows on the more moe ecchi side of things that I wouldn’t necessarily get around to otherwise so it’s a good way to broaden my horizons. So naturally this season Matt suggested Psycho Pass! I had no objections….

Some more astute readers may know that I (much like a whole lot of anime fans) have a very soft spot for the series. I talk about it a lot and to this day this messy fever dream of a post remains one of my favourites!

But enough about me, Matt what are your thoughts/feelings about the franchise?

Hello Irina, everyone, it’s me. My thoughts on Psycho Pass’s first season? Absolutely excellent, one of my Top 20 anime of all time. Thoughts on the second season? A rushed mess that does a disservice to the events of the previous season.

So season 3… Whenever a beloved series gets a new entry, there’s always a sort of backlash from fans. A weird fear that somehow it can go back in time and change what the original was. It’s counterproductive. Which is probably why Matt warned us on Twitter not to immediately compare it to the original…But Boy did this first episode make that hard! 

There were parallels to the first season Everywhere you looked. The art style is instantly recognizable, and the environments remain almost untouched (aside from the CG but we’ll get back to it). The colour palette is very close, only slightly warmer and the framing and angles are perfectly consistent. The OP was purposefully similar which made the inclusion of that demon-like creature really stand out.

Beyond that though, we saw glimpses of the iconic Syble control room, the dominators in action, Shion back in force (oh hecks yeah) and even just a hint of Akane.  And one of the first scenes was of inspectors Arata and Kei arriving on their very first day at the job, at a rainy crime scene in an opener that directly mirrored season 1’s first episode.

I know you don’t want us to compare the two, Matt, but it certainly seems the show isn’t about to let us forget its roots.

There’s nothing wrong with calling back to things that happened in previous seasons, in-fact they were some of my favourite parts of the episode. The problem is when people dont give a show a fair chance to stand on its own because their too busy holding it up to its predecessors shadow.

There’s something of a deft balancing act done here by making this part sequel and part soft reboot (at least that’s my impression) and I think it pulls off both very well.

To me though, this was an homage, not a rip-off. Tonally, visually and atmospherically it was very reminiscent of Psycho Pass but the character dynamics, faster and grimier corruption storyline set up and quick-fire dialogue are fresh. Not to mention the completely new mind trace gimmick. So far, I like it, but it has the potential of just turning into plot destroying “sci-fi magic”, what do you think?

It’s funny you mention the mind trace “gimmick” because (aside from the visuals) that was my favourite thing about this episode. I don’t know if you’ve seen Bryan Fuller’s ‘Hannibal’ tv series from a few years back but our protagonist in that show has complete empathy which allows him to become other characters which is almost exactly what Arata has (down to the wording) of his trait. So not only was I immediately on board with this but I was excited to see where it would take his character. Oh I vaguely remember it. I was actually thinking of Sherlock myself.

Arata is a light-hearted happy go lucky protagonist. For someone like me, whose favourite character was Kagari, it’s a thrill, but what do you think Matt? And ho do you think audiences will react. It’s a pretty big departure from previous protagonists.

I think a lot of his light-hearted disposition is a coping measure for having to deal with having complete empathy. I enjoyed this kind of protagonist compared to brooding and dour but I still think it’s a bit of a front.

O.k., I’ve avoided it so far but let’s just mention the CG for a bit. I didn’t like it. It wasn’t horrible but the integration was hardly seamless and honestly, it took me out of the moment on several occasions.

Hmm, I have to disagree, I thought it looked wonderful and very dynamic and interesting. I’ve heard streaming things with a lot of small details can look ugly so maybe that was the problem for you? I ~acquired~ a 1080p copy of the episode so maybe that’s why I thought it looked so good? No for me the issue was more that the light and shadow physics where calculated at a very slightly different angle that made the CG pieces sort of stand out in one frame and not the next. Once I noticed I kept on noticing. Also, I disliked the textures but that personal taste. Actually, I got to give it to prime, the quality if their streams are really good!

Overall, here is what I got from the first episode of season 3 of Psycho Pass. The narrative seems to be more action-oriented with hints of humour, rather than dramatic noir. There is a lot more emphasis on tech which leads me to believe we’re going to stray into cyberpunk territory. Political machinations are afoot.

I think it was a necessary change, this felt more like a US crime procedural along the lines of ‘Person of Interest’ so arguably not world’s away from what it was but different enough to feel like it’s carving out its own identity and not resting on everything that it’s previous seasons set up.

There were some red flags. The addition of what seems to amount to incredible psychic powers in Arata is a very tricky narrative element and unless used carefully and sparingly could either render stakes inconsequential or completely undercut and tension in the story. Moreover, the little we saw of the villains did seem a tad too goofball to be taken seriously and, in my experience, this universe really benefits from a strong antagonist.

In the closing scenes, there is a line seemingly spoken by Akane: “We must protect justice even at the cost of a peaceful society”… This was meant as a sort of handoff to a new cast and although a bit heavy-handed still cute. Except that to me, it sort of goes against what Akane stands for and negates some of her most important and powerful character moments (by the way, I’ve seen season 1, the old movie,

Seeing Akane at all was kind of unexpected–the opening monologue and the sort of revelation that she’s still imprisoned (I think that’s what they were going for–its been a while since I watched season 2) hit me harder than I expected.

On the other hand, I pretty much fell head over heels for Mika. Every scene she was in made me smile and glued my eyes to the screen. I always wanted to know more about the tech of Psycho Pass and that seems to be the direction the season is heading in and although we don’t know much about Kei and Arata, I like them both so far.

I like all the characters (both new and returning ones) so far, I quite liked the banter between our two inspectors and their chief–she seems like a pretty understanding woman–hope she doesn’t end up working for the bad guys!

From what I can remember of my very first impressions of the franchise at all, this is pretty much on par. I mean I’m way more excited but I’m bringing that down because a lot is due to fuzzy nostalgia feelings. I didn’t really have any expectations for this episode, all I wanted was a strong narrative and characters set in the familiar future fictional Tokyo of the Psycho Pass universe that I’ve got a lot of fondness for and on that front it absolutely delivered. If I have one complaint it’s that it introduced a lot of characters that didn’t do much (specifically those three mysterious characters who are either politicians or something I’m not quite sure) but there’s still plenty of time to find out what their deal is. All in all, I thought this was an excellent continuation and new beginning for the series.

Psycho Pass s3 ep1 – A New Start Hello one and all, it’s once again time for my seasonal dose of adorable underdressed anime fun with…

[deeahhnuh]

2019!

I've done this year-in-review thing since 2007! 2007-2012 are over on my old LiveJournal, and 2013-on are right here on my Tumblr. :)

2020. 2020! That year sounds space-age or something lol, and not like it's just, well, tomorrow. Happy New Year, Tumblr!

What did you do in 2019 that you'd never done before?

Not too much, lol! I guess I just kept doing the things I usually do, but tried to do them better/improve them (when it comes to work!), or do more of them (fun times and family times!).

Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Every year I mention that I don't really make New Year's resolutions - more like little goals all year! - but hey, it's a new decade! This year I think I will make a resolution that I will hold myself to. In 2020, I resolve to work hard - like really hard - on being healthy! Eat right, exercise, lose weight, work on maintaining less stress - be good to myself! I know everyone makes that kind of resolution, but it's a good one for a reason. :)

Did anyone close to you give birth?

Aw, no new babies this year!

Did anyone close to you die?

Sadly, yes... my uncle (my dad's oldest brother) passed away in May. ♥ We also lost a beloved neighbor in August.

What countries did you visit?

Lol, none!

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

I seemed to lack the ability to chill this year, haha - I stressed out about everything! :O So I’m ready to go with the flow better in 2020!

What date(s) from 2019 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Can’t think of any big dates, but this December marked 5 years since I graduated (and gave a speech at the departmental ceremony, to toot my own horn lol!) from the University of Maryland! Time is bizarre - 5 years feels both forever ago and also not that far back!

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

I’ve been working in the registrar’s office at a community college for three years now! I love it, and I’m proud of the work I do!! :)

What was your biggest failure?

Everything’s a learning experience of course lol, but thankfully I didn’t goof too bad this year! ;)

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Oh my goodness, I started off the year with a thumping in my right ear (the name for it is “pulsatile tinnitus” - which somehow makes it sound scary!). :O Happily, that mess dissipated in a few months’ time, but it sure did worry (and annoy) me! Other than that - all good! :)

What was the best thing you bought?

I was very fortunate this year to buy a few things that really made me smile!

I do love a perfume! Dior Addict is a stunning, spicy vanilla (I love ‘em sweet!) that really hits the spot.

I’m also pleased, on the “I stan goofy dance music” front, to have found a couple of old Ministry of Sound compilations that I’ve had bookmarked on Amazon for awhile - they came back in stock this year and I snatched ‘em up. Anthems Sound of Dubstep (2012) is brash and obnoxious fun, and Sessions Ten (2013) is slightly less brash but just as obnoxious so I love it. They’re both releases from the Australian arm of MOS!

Oh and one of my fave used record stores had a copy of one of DJ Rap’s “Bad Girl” CD singles with mixes I didn’t have; I was kinda shocked to see it and very very happy to buy it! It was only 99 cents. Wow!! I do like a ridiculous deal! :)

Whose behavior merited celebration?

My mom is amazing, as always, and so are my dad and brother! I love my fam!!

Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

No one!

Where did most of your money go?

See above - my more frivolous spending went toward perfume and goofy dance tunes, haha!

What did you get really, really, really excited about?

I will never, ever forget opening a very special present for Christmas this year. I love and adore It’s a Wonderful Life, and I even wrote a paper about it in college. I used a fabulous book as one of my sources - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book by Jeanine Basinger - and since then I’ve always had it in the back of my mind to purchase it someday. It’s a fantastic keepsake kinda thing for a fan of the movie. Unfortunately it always seemed to be out of stock, or way too expensive to consider, so over time I kind of just put it on the back burner.

But just a few days ago on Christmas morning as we all opened gifts, I tore wrapping paper off a box, pulled off the box top, and bam - there it was. Decorative tissue paper obscured it, but I could see the book cover peeking through - The It’s a Wonderful Life Book! My mama, the best mama, found this awesome book for me! My Christmas - my year! - was made! ♥

What song will always remind you of 2019?

Here’s a Spotify playlist of the songs that I loved this year; most are old releases lol. New(er) songs and albums I loved this year:

“Like Sugar” by Chaka Khan. Funky!

“Lost in the Fire” by Gesaffelstein feat. The Weeknd. Cool and atmospheric!

“Lights Up” by Harry Styles. Boy band guy makes good lol! Great tune.

Mazy Fly (2019) by SPELLLING. Dark, richly layered, weird, beautiful.

The Destroyer - 1 and The Destroyer - 2 (2019) by TR/ST. Two EP-ish releases that make up a whole album-ish listen. The Destoyer - 1 slightly edges out the second release, but I just like hearing so much synthy TR/ST goodness!

Compared to this time last year (2018), are you:

Doin' all right, and hopeful for a great start to 2020!

What do you wish you'd done more of?

Listen to more albums - new or old! The last few years I seem to listen to a handful of albums a year, then spend the rest of my music-listening time playing dance music compilations. Ah well, maybe I'll catch up on my massive "to listen" list in the next decade lol!

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Stress (see above lol) - but I'm def working on it! :)

How did you spend Christmas?

Family time!! ♥

What was the most embarrassing thing that happened to you in 2019?

Nothing, yay lol!

How many one-night stands?

None lol

What was your favorite TV program?

My silly cartoons! Family Guy, American Dad, Bob's Burgers, and SpongeBob SquarePants (lol idk, nostalgia is hard to kick!) still make me laugh even though I am otherwise a perfectly reasonable adult. :)

Bravo's Real Housewives - all of 'em! - crack me up and bring the totally ridiculous drama!

The Orville is fantastic, one of my fave more recent shows. I love the cast! Each episode really adds to their stories and builds the show's world. Looking forward to the next season!

Emergence is a great new sci-fi show with a strong cast - especially the sensible, big-hearted lead Allison Tolman - and suspenseful storyline!

I haven't seen the first season, and to be honest I don't think I'd be able to explain what the heck it's actually about because I'm easily confused, but American Gods caught my attention this year! The cast is excellent - even if the plot escaped me, lol, I really got into the characters.

And What We Do In The Shadows! Such a delight!!

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2019?

I love a classic, slightly minimal style, but I'm just happy to look decently put-together lol!

What kept you sane?

My fam, my entertainment stuff (music, movies, TV, magazines), working with wonderful colleagues... ♥

Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

No! :O

What was the best book you read in 2019?

The It’s a Wonderful Life Book was probably the best book I read (well, most of it!) this decade. ♥

What was your greatest musical discovery?

SPELLLING is awesome - definitely an artist I'm excited to hear more from!!

What did you want and get?

I won't say The It’s a Wonderful Life Book again! :)

On a more serious note, I had my first MRIs in a while for MS maintenance - my previous neurologist retired and my new doctor wanted to get a baseline. I was very, very anxious about getting the results. My former doctor last ordered an MRI in 2011, so this was definitely a good and highly necessary step, but very nerve-wracking! I'm so fortunate to not be experiencing symptoms - and haven't since my initial occurrence of optic neuritis in '09 (though I was actually diagnosed with MS in 2011) - but what might the MRIs (brain and T- and C-spine) reveal?

I wanted to receive good results - a report of stability, not progression. And would you believe it? I did. My (amazing!) neurologist gave me the greatest news I had all year - stable, no new lesions, all good!! Of course this is for now - who knows about the future? - but I'm thrilled, and thankful. As this year ends and I reflect on all the good, this takes the cake!!

What did you want and not get?

Pffft, nothin' lol! I've got so many lovely things and reasons to be thankful - who could ask for more?!

What was your favorite film of this year?

Lol I did not see many new movies, but of the '19 films I saw, my fave was Knives Out! I only just saw it yesterday - what a fun way to close out the year! Fantastic cast, clever story, funny - just all-around entertainment.

I also loved Yesterday. All the Beatles references and the obvious affection for the group and their fans just felt like a great big hug! So good!

What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

Girl I'm well and truly a thirty-something now - 33!! I had fun! I did lots of little fun things with my fam - like shopping, watching movies, that kind of good stuff!

What three things would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

Like I said above - who could ask for more? Not me! :)

Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

I'm late to the David Harbour bandwagon - but better late than never!

And also Daniel Craig in Knives Out was a good thing.

What political issue stirred you the most?

Ew, there's something stirring like every hour or so.

Who did you miss?

Losing my grandmother at the end of last year really colored a lot of this year... and then losing my uncle added more shadows. ♥♥♥

What is a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019?

I always answer this one with a twist on the Pet Shop Boys song title and my life philosophy - "Happiness is an option." So here we go! The chorus of the song acknowledges that "it is not easy," and some times are definitely like that. This year had those moments, and next year will too, because that's how life is! It is often not easy.

But! The last bit of the chorus follows "it is not easy" with "happiness is an option." Things can stink, but they can be okay too. That's what "happiness is an option" has always meant to me, and it means that just as much this year. Maybe even more!!

What quote can be used to sum up your year?

See above haha! "Happiness is an option” has been my fave quote for years, and I’m gonna keep on living it! :)

[letterboxd]

Fate.

“The reason that they choose to pick up a gun or punch someone in the face or fight for their lives is usually different than the reasons you’d find for a man.” Terminator: Dark Fate director Tim Miller discusses David Fincher, James Cameron and female action heroes in an exclusive chat with Letterboxd.

Tim Miller is here to save the Terminator franchise. Like many of us, Miller (the director of Deadpool) is a massive fan of the first two films, and not so much of the last three.

Miller’s new film, Terminator: Dark Fate, positions itself as a direct sequel to the iconic Terminator 2: Judgment Day and ignores all the films made subsequent to that 1991 classic. The connection is strengthened by the participation of James Cameron (director and co-writer of the 1984 original and Judgment Day), who has a story credit on Dark Fate, and Linda Hamilton, who returns to play Sarah Connor for the first time since 1991.

In the new film, Connor is one of two people—alongside Mackenzie Davis’s augmented future soldier Grace—attempting to protect Dani Ramos (Natalia Reyes) from the super-advanced Rev-9 terminator (Gabriel Luna). Dani is a young Mexican woman fated to play a critical role in a future war between humans and machines (specifically, an artificial intelligence called Legion).

Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton in a scene from ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’.

Although Connor prevented Judgment Day in T2, something similar eventually transpired in the future, once again pitting humanity against a seemingly insurmountable artificial intelligence threat. Arnold Schwarzenegger also shows up as an aged T-800, and the film has fun with his presence.

A few weeks back, the Alamo Drafthouse treated audiences who thought they were going to see T2 with a surprise screening of Dark Fate. “This is the third film I’ve always wanted…” was the reaction from Letterboxd member CJSFilms. “Changed the story enough without completely jumping the shark and had some great new characters along with amazing work to the older ones.”

“Part of me can’t really believe I liked it so much, but it’s the truth,” said azureblueworld.

Miller recently spoke with us about Dark Fate, as well as answering some questions about his life in film.

Mackenzie Davis and Natalia Reyes in a scene from ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’.

It’s relatively rare in action cinema to have three female protagonists. What do you think that brings to Terminator: Dark Fate? Tim Miller: I think it brings a lot, both in the making of it and in the film itself, because from a plot standpoint, you don’t often have enough stories where women are in these action roles. The reason that they choose to pick up a gun or punch someone in the face or fight for their lives is usually different than the reasons you’d find for a man. You don’t often find a woman killing people for vengeance or these typically macho things. So, I find those reasons much more interesting. This is why I love Sarah Connor. This is a woman who is fighting to protect her child and there is no more powerful imperative than that. So we have all of that and you have Grace coming back from the future. We really didn’t play too much upon it, but Grace is Dani’s surrogate child. She finds her in the ruin when she’s twelve and raises her. So the idea of a mother having to send her daughter back for the fate of humanity is pretty powerful and it’s not the usual male-centric reasons for doing shit like that.

Then, because we had John Connor, the whole male as the savior of humanity thing has been done. But secondly, I just feel like Dani would be a different kind of leader. I always used the analogy of yes, she’s tough and she’s a great leader, but she’s more Obama than Patton in my mind.

Mackenzie Davis is amazing in this movie. What kind of thinking went into the conception of her character, Grace? I remember the moment very clearly because my favorite author of all time, Joe Abercrombie, who writes fantasy not sci-fi, primarily, although his Shattered Sea books are sort of post-apocalyptic. Joe was in the writers’ room, I love him. He’s a great English author. If you haven’t read him, do. We were talking about how there’s always this trilogy of characters: there’s the protector, the hunter and the prey in Terminator movies. We were talking about the protector, and Joe said, “What if it’s this female super soldier who comes back from the future, and she’s all fucked up and scarred and she has to take a lot of drugs because she’s been enhanced with stolen Legion technology?” It wasn’t Legion at that time, it was stolen advanced AI technology adapted for humans and she was kind of a machine fighter. And she has to take these drugs all the time because they amp up her immune system, and jack up her reflexes and things like that. And I thought, ‘Oh, that’s fucking cool’. Everybody else did, too.

And Mackenzie plays her with so much humanity, which is why I really did not want to get the obvious casting takes for that role. They would show me some actors who were super accomplished martial artists or fighters or things like that. I knew that she would be, in many ways, the heart of the movie. I mean Sarah, of course, is the heart of the movie ultimately, but for so long in this film, Sarah is emotionless. She’s a terminator, you know? She’s fucked up. And Mackenzie had to be this person [for whom] you could really identify with her mission and her humanity.

Director Tim Miller and Linda Hamilton on the set of ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’.

What movies did you watch to prepare for making Terminator: Dark Fate? I watched all of the Terminator movies—good and bad—again, of course. I watch Aliens all the time. Then I watched Alien again, too. Because I think Terminator has moments of tension, for sure. [Alien³ director] David Fincher’s favorite moment in Terminator: Dark Fate, oddly, was the shots of Gabriel [Luna] walking around Carl’s house after they’ve left, in this creepy sort of home invasion moment. So I think Terminator’s always had a horror element to it.

I love movies that have heroes. Movies like Gladiator and Blade Runner are some of my favorites. Gladiator has the heroic element of the person who’s been beaten down but refuses to lose, [that’s] definitely in Terminator movies. Blade Runner has the element of the hero who gets their ass handed to them every time, but keeps getting back up and I feel like that’s kind of what happens in these chase scenes where you can never defeat a terminator. You get your ass kicked but somehow you manage to get away and fight another day until eventually something else defeats them.

I have less of a broad spectrum of movie-watching. I read a lot and that’s where a lot of my love of sci-fi comes from. I tend to—like I think a lot of nerds—you have your favorites and it’s hard to get out of that rut because it’s so not often that good stuff comes around that you can put on that list of favorites.

Gabriel Luna and friend in a scene from ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’.

Was there a particular film that, when you saw it, made you say, “Okay, I’m doing this. I’m gonna make movies”? Aliens. The thing that Jim does so much and so well is really gives the characters a sense of reality, that they feel grounded and what I love about his movies also is the writing always feels very organic to me. In too many movies, you can feel that the writer or the director made a decision on what way to move the story based on a plot [point], rather than it coming organically from the characters. In Jim’s movies, you never feel that. In fact, when I met him I was surprised because I thought [he] must write forward from character instead of having some pre-ordained idea of where it’s going to end up. And he said, “No, oh no. I think of: ‘Oh, man. I want to see this big fucking action scene and then I work into it’.” But I guess the magic comes in the fact that you don’t feel that.

He mentioned the flying scene in Avatar, which I loved, which is this falling-in-love scene when they’re learning to fly. I said, “But you have this great falling-in-love scene.” He goes, “I just wanted to do a really great scene of them flying around Pandora in these cool, swooping camera moves and this bad-ass flight sequence. And then it became the falling-in-love sequence.” So that was the surprise for me and a little bit of insight into Jim’s magic.

How many times would you say you’ve seen Aliens? Oh fuck, 50 plus, easy.

What's the sexiest film you’ve ever seen? The sexiest? 9½ Weeks.

What film do you have fond memories of watching with your parents? Poseidon Adventure, the original. I remember Gene Hackman. I remember Shelley Winters’ death where she was the Olympic swimmer who gained too much weight, but she managed to save everybody. Then I remember Gene Hackman jumping out over the fire to turn off that big knob to cut the steam off so everybody else could escape and then dropping into the fire. Heroes. Always heroes sacrificing. I love it.

What classic are you embarrassed to say you haven’t seen? Citizen Kane. That’s easy.

What filmmaker, living or dead, do you envy or admire the most? David Fincher, who I’m lucky enough to call a friend. David hasn’t made a bad movie ever.

What’s it like working with him [the pair collaborated on the Netflix sci-fi anthology series Love Death + Robots]? David’s great with me. He’s much more trouble if you’re an executive who tries to fuck with him. I couldn’t tell you why, to this day, that he and I are friends because I’m so messy and he’s so precise, but he’s been so helpful to me as a friend and as a mentor over the years that I can’t underestimate the value of it. He’s the funniest, smartest guy in the room wherever he is.

Tim Miller on the set of ‘Terminator: Dark Fate’.

He’s kind of enigmatic. I love how seemingly quiet he is. He doesn’t put a huge amount of himself out there. Well, that’s in contrast to how quiet he’s not when he’s one-on-one or in a meeting, because he loves to talk. He puts on a show and his knowledge of film and filmmaking is so encyclopedic that you really just kind of sit back and watch. When we were pitching Heavy Metal, which was pretty much Love, Death + Robots before it was Love, Death + Robots, we pitched probably 100 times. It was always really great for me to sit back and watch him work, because back then it was pre-Deadpool and nobody really paid attention to me in the room. So I got a front-row seat to watching David work and especially watching him work in the Hollywood system, which is a unique and interesting system.

What’s a film you wish you had made? Saving Private Ryan. Again, I’m such a one-dimensional filmmaker. It all comes back to heroism. The fact that all of them could sacrifice for this mother that they don’t know, where they imagine her hearing this news of all of her sons being dead. That’s really who they sacrifice themselves for because they don’t know Ryan, he’s just another guy. It’s a powerful message about humanity that I thought was great. Tom Hanks is just, he’s the most amazing combination of strong and vulnerable, which I find really interesting in a hero. That’s very human, you know?

If you were forced to remake any classic, what would you choose? I’m very interested to see what Denis Villeneuve does with Dune because it’s a great book and they’ve never managed to make a good movie out of it.

‘Terminator: Dark Fate’ is in theaters now. Comments have been edited for clarity and length.

[televisor-reviews]

Everything Of Note I Have To Say About “Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil” Season 4!

As I’m sure you’re aware, the great animated series Star Vs. The Forces Of Evil has recently concluded and I have a ton to say about it... So I made a list!

1. Spoilers...

2. Duh...

3. Before anything, I absolutely loved it! This was the finale this great show really deserved.

4. Let’s start from the beginning: I’ve been watching Star Vs. for a few years now when a good friend of mine recommended it to me. At first I was resistant because the advertising for it at the time was god awful, but luckily I was convinced otherwise and been loving it ever since.

5. The show premiered when I was a teenager, going through all the cliche teen shit. So seeing a show that portrayed the overly dramatic life of a teenager without being one of those stock teen dramas was a good change of pace.

6. In particular, I remember being amazed that it could be so relatable while still being able to have it’s upbeat and fast-paced fantasy/sci-fi action sequences and world while also having a good mixture of mature and juvenile humor. I mean, all of that would seem to work against each other and yet this show made it work in spades.

7. Actually, the way Star Vs. uses it’s fictitious setting to complement its down-to-earth characters while juggling great humor reminds me a lot of a different Disney property: Guardians Of The Galaxy. GOTG, I think, is the perfect film to study if you want to ever write for sci-fi or fantasy because director James Gunn understood that you can have as wild and crazy of a world as you want but you still need to write your characters as genuine as possible. If you don’t, you’ll get something like Avatar (the movie); a film that everyone remembers liking because of the incredible world and even better effects, but no one can name a single character or plot-point. The universe still needs to be grounded by the characters or else it’ll become forgettable and un-relatable. Star Vs., thankfully, does not have this problem. I love the characters, their trials, their tribulations, all because they feel real despite the world in which it takes place.

8. That isn’t to say there isn’t a reason to set a story in a fantastical world or that there isn’t an issue with being too relatable. If anything, the world of the show helps to make it more entertaining, less monotonous, and more unique. Without it, Star Vs. would be another Pretty Little Liars or Zoey 101 or Dawson’s Creek or any other boring teen drama out there. They’re practically identical because they start off too similarly! They all follow around relatively normal teenagers in a relatively normal world with their relatively normal life and god do none of them stand out. So Star Vs. separates itself by still keeping its characters pretty wacky and the universe as crazy as Daron Nefcy’s imagination!

9. Even by a storytelling perspective, this makes more sense because there is objectively more that can be done! By the end of Zoey 101, Zoey and her lame crew basically did everything they could do without jumping the shark too much. In comparison, there are countless adventures Marco and Star could go on even past the series finale.

10. And because the number of future adventures are countless, part of the tragedy of the show ending is that we (the audience) don’t get to experience them alongside these characters we’ve learned to love so much. Keeping that door open leaves a much longer lasting impression on the audience, as apposed to the ending of Zoey 101 in which... wait, what happened again? I don’t remember. Anyways!

11. I love the comedy in this show! From the very beginning, the humor was very lighthearted and yet mature because it had to be. It had to have a tinge of maturity to it because the target audience isn’t little kids like it would be for a show like My Little Pony or SpongeBob. Star Vs., with it’s doomsday atmosphere and constant teen drama, was definitely geared more towards older children/preteens. The ones more likely to watch a show like Gravity Falls or Rick And Morty and this audience will not tolerate childish humor. They can appreciate it sprinkled in here and there but if used too much, they’re taste will sour. This is because as they are maturing to to start maturing into adulthood, there is the natural need to separate from childish things with the added childishness of wanting to totally separate from it. That’s why on The Loud House, a punchline could literally be poop and why that is not something you’d see very often on Star Vs.

12. With that said, the show still needed the humor to be incredibly lighthearted because otherwise this show would be so depressing! The worlds in which these characters live in and know are constantly changing, evolving, and almost blowing up. For Christ sake, many important characters die in this finale! The only one who died in Gravity Falls was the villain and in this, the villain isn’t even one of them! Seeing Marco and Star still be able to crack jokes to one another and making each other laugh keeps spirits high. God knows Hekapoo can’t do that now!

13. Speaking of Marco and Star, I have been a hardcore Starco defender from the very beginning despite the show constantly trying to convince me otherwise! There are so many perfect pairings in this cast that any one of them could’ve worked if Nefcy were top change her mind. If it ended with Star x Tom or Marco x Janna or Star x Janna or Marco x Hekapoo or Marco x Tom or Marco x Kelly it would’ve worked perfectly well.

14. But lets not kid ourselves, it was always going to end with Marco x Star. Their relationship and chemistry is unmatched, they might be the only couple in existence to say a joint line like “With or without magic, we were always meant to be together,” work and come off as not only sincere but true. I don’t even believe in the whole “soul mate” mumbo-jumbo, but I’d be damned if they are not that!

15. I audibly squealed in delight when they finally got together. It was like the build-up of four season culminated in one scene.

16. Though it wouldn’t really surprise me if I was alone in this assessment because I am a sucker for a good romantic movie. I saw La La Land in theaters, I cried at Love, Simon, I actually really love Love Actually. And though I do think Star Vs. pulled off relationships better than most, take my opinion with a grain of salt because the build-up itself was a little grating.

17. I have a huge issue with “will-they, won’t-they” stories! It’s the same issue I had with The Office and Friends and The Big Bang Theory and Sailor Moon and That ‘70s Show and every other show that has this dumb trope! Of course they’ll get together because otherwise I wasted several hours of my life wondering about it! Star Vs. isn’t as bad about this as most others but it’s still there and it’s still annoying.

18. It does this better than most because of three main components: it’s relatively short, we get plenty of Star and Marco being all lovey-dovey with each other once they do get together, and they do have genuine chemistry together. They have so much chemistry that Star’s ex literally told Marco that they were clearly into each other. If only they could’ve avoided the trope.

19. Okay, this next point is a little personal but it did effect my feelings towards this show’s finale so I think it’s kind of important that I mention it. Around the time the Star Vs. was ending, I was just entering my first real relationship and around the time I watched this finale, we lasted long enough that we could start taking the relationship a little bit more seriously. Now before anyone says anything: everything’s going great (she actually made me my header) and I am absolutely still in a honeymoon phase with her. But I think you could imagine how a lovesick teen just entering a serious relationship would be effected by this show that ended with lovesick teens so in love that they’d happily sacrifice themselves for the other.

20. I may or may not have also been high while watching this and that may or may not have effected my viewing experience. Don’t be a narc!

21. I love what this last season did with Ludo. Push away the fact that they somehow keep talking Alan Tudyk into these rolls he clearly does need to do and yet still does a great job at it (did you know he was King Candy in Wreck-It Ralph? Why? Why did he do that? Why is he so good in it? This guy’s casting decisions are so weird). The character of Ludo was a generic comic relief villain (see Doofenshmirtz) but was usually fine if only because he made for a good contrast and was way more interesting compared to Toffee (played by Michael C. Hall, another actor who does not need this job). But season four made Ludo a million times more interesting by showing his obsession with the wand exactly what it is: and unhealthy obsession that he needs to get over. And I like where he’s left by the end, clearly still not doing too great but is making strides to get better. As someone who has known many addicts in my life, this hit home a little.

22. Actually, I think a large part of season four was specifically meant to fix the first two mediocre seasons. Just look at my new favorite episode of the series: Britta’s Tacos. In this episode, Star and Marco find themselves back on Earth after a year of being on Mewni and catching up with all of their friends and seeing what’s changed. Watching this episode, I was reminded that as good as the first couple of seasons were, the latter half of the series was a ton better! The characters, character arcs, stories, everything, everything was better once they went up to Mewni. So seeing them go back to Earth and challenging the writers with rewriting their past characters to be more interesting showed just how much the series has improved. Could you imagine characters as uninteresting as those nerds I don’t even remember the names of being introduced in the much more interesting latter seasons? I couldn’t! So I appreciate that they went back and made sure every character in this show was interesting... except for Toffee, he still sucks.

23. And of course, the character that improved the most, hands down was absolutely Jackie Lynn Thomas! She was as bland and boring as a love interest got and that bothered me from the very beginning. How is it that in a show this imaginative and unique they still felt it necessary to use this tired cliche. So bringing her back, the writers had to do something to make her more interesting and it was apparently really easy. All they had to do was keep the character herself basically the same but now she’s a lesbian. And somehow, just adding that one extra layer made her feel so different, so interesting, so complete. I think that’s what it was, she just felt like an incomplete plot point and giving her a girlfriend completely separates herself from being important to the plot and adds that extra layer to make her seem more finished as a character.

24. I’m actually really surprised by this recent trend of LGBTQ+ characters in kids cartoons. You’d think that of all mediums, kids cartoons would be the last to fully integrate a controversial minority but they’ve been some of the first. Steven Universe really started this trend but I feel like The Loud House was the first to show and say it outright. Star Vs. doesn’t do it that well (and I’m willing to bet that was because of higher-ups over at Disney) but I appreciate the sentiment anyways. They never call Jackie and her girlfriend a couple or show them kissing, the most they do is have them hold hands and though I guess that’s enough, I wish they were able to go further. Whatever, I already wrote about why this representation in kids media is important, go read that.

25. For a while, Star was my favorite character in this show. I just have a real soft-spot for upbeat female badasses (and I am very happy this has become more of a trope recently), I think Janna might’ve taken the throne. It’s not that Star stopped being interesting or anything like that, I just really love Janna and her “Jannanigans”. Plus, I do really like the “cute girl who’s into weird shit” trope too. She’s not my favorite version of this trope (see Raven from 2003′s Teen Titans), but she was always a delight whenever she was on screen.

26. Tom is probably the most obvious example of “boring character was made interesting” that the show has. In the beginning, he was the standard bad boy archetype but, over time, was given more personality and started working off the other characters much better. Sure, he and Star worked great with each other as to be expected, but I think the real standout relationship he had was with Marco. I have never seen bromance as strong as what those two have. Their little musical number at Queen Moon’s cornonation turned talent contest might have been the greatest piece of animation ever made (change my mind). And this I know people agree with me, I cannot exaggerate just how much literally everyone I have ever spoken to loves Marco and Tom. It just works so strangely, it has to come off as genuine.

27. I think the series was supposed to go on for another season. I say this because Kelly was too good of a character to waste like they did! She was a great character with tons of personality and amazing chemistry with Marco that was seemingly building up to something... only to drop the ball at the end. She isn’t given much to do, she doesn’t have a final scene with Marco, she isn’t even given a good ending. The most we got was Ponyhead theorizing what her life would be like just to cheer up Star. If that was all they were going to do with Kelly, that’s just a waste of perfectly good build-up.

28. It’s very strange how on the nose these metaphors in the show got at times while still seeming perfect. I guess it had to be on the nose so that the younger audience could catch on to them but I’m not sure what the’ll do with the knowledge that magic=nuclear power. Also, the monsters kind of changed metaphors, originally they were clearly meant to be Native American stand-ins but later on they kind of changed into African American stand-ins. Not that they’re histories (in America) are all that different but it was a noticeable switch. It’s not like Zootopia where any given animal could represent any number of races depending on the scene in question, this was definitely what Star Vs. was going for and I’m not sure if it totally worked. It didn’t NOT work, I guess.

29. I actually don’t like the whole “blowing up the magic” thing. It was something Star made up in a temper tantrum and goes totally against the theme. The whole time, the show was going on about how important integration is and how “separate but equal” doesn’t work and whatnot. So destroying the only way they know how to travel through different dimensions seems contrary to that point. I get that drastic times need drastic measures but I get the feeling that in a theoretical season five, Star and Marco would work to bring back the magic. Or maybe find a more scientific way to travel through dimensions... like some kind of portal gun. We already know this takes place in the same multiverse as Rick And Morty, it’s not that crazy an idea.

30. Another reason I think there was originally going to be another season is because the whole “Mewmans are humans” thing that came right out of nowhere! I mean, it makes total sense and I’m totally down with this plot point but it seems like that would be a much bigger deal than the characters make it out to be. My god, they don’t even let Marco finish explaining this. How the hell did that cave painting get to Earth if they didn’t run into Glossaryck until they got to Mewni! Explanation please!

31. I wish destroying the magic didn’t also mean killing off Glossaryck and Hekapoo. I don’t really care about any of the other characters literally made out of magic, but those two are just so likable and such fan favorites, it’s just a shame to see them go. Though I do really like that they’re reaction to the whole thing seems to just be a mild shrug. I get the idea that since they’ve lived for millennia which would make them more okay with dying. It’s easier to live a full life if you can’t die.

32. I like how Mina’s story ends: defeated and yet still refusing it. Her whole speech about having good ideas really says something, like these issues will never be fully defeated because everyone thinks that they’re right. It’s a bit more of a bittersweet moral than “bad always loses because they’re bad” but is an important lesson that I think kids need to learn. Especially in this political climate. Good god, just end me!

33. Holy shit, I’m up to 33! My Wakfu one only made it up to 25 and I am nowhere close to done yet!

34. A psychotic part of me really wishes the finale had Star and Marco die in each other’s arms in the Magic Dimension. It’d be the ultimate show of love as they’re sacrificing each other for one another and be the ultimate ending. I mean, what more is there to care about after the main two characters are dead? It’d be very bittersweet and much more emotionally taxing on the audience but it’d also be more classic. Like Romeo and Juliet or Bonnie and Clyde, they’re love was just too strong for this world.

35. With that said, that part of me is absolutely wrong! Having their dimensions merge was clearly what the series was building up to with it’s hopeful tone, the power of love being a big theme, the message of integration, and (of course) the promise they made to Meteora and Hispanic Meteora. It seems so obvious in hindsight and yet I still didn’t see it coming, I guess that’s a sign of a really good plot twist.

36. My god, everyone is such a dick to Queen Moon. Like let her be in love you jackasses. I had such a hard time liking anyone who worked against her (which is why I really like that Hekapoo had reservations on both sides the whole time) and this includes Ex-Queen Moon. I really can’t grasp my mind as to why she thought this was a good idea, it clearly wasn’t from the very beginning. Maybe if the show gave her time to explain herself I’d be singing a different tune but she never really does and I have a hard time forgiving her even after her apology.

37. This is just a reminder that Starco is best ship. Repeat, Starco is still best ship.

38. The ending reminds me of Titanic. I mean, two young lovebirds meeting each other, growing closer, and falling in love all the while a looming threat of destruction and death is above them. The epic scale of their problem being brought down to earth by the almost normal love story happening in the midst of it all. Their ever ready willingness to sacrifice everything for each other. Their world forcing them to cling to each other for protection. The grand scale of everything around them making their love seem grander than it would be without it. Yeah, there are more and probably better examples I could turn to for comparison (Romeo And Juliet, Les Miserables, Spartacus) but Titanic was the first one to come to mind and I’m sure my subconsciousness has a good reason for that.

39. I continue to have problems with this finale but I get the sense that I’m nitpicking because this was still an amazing end to a great show. When I think about this ending, the first word that comes to mind is deserves. This is the ending that the story deserves, that the characters (minus Kelly) deserves, that the show itself deserves. It really is a fantastic finale and I’m so grateful that I got to experience it.

40.

[metalgearkong]

Alita: Battle Angel - Review

Directed by Robert Rodriguez (20th Century Fox)

Based on the manga by Yukito Kishiro, Alita: Battle Angel is a cyberpunk story about Dr. Dyson Ido (Christoph Waltz) who finds a mysterious intact core of a female cyborg (Rosa Salazar) and puts her back together. The story takes place in the far future, and 300 years after an event known as “The Fall,” where the societal elite live in a floating city above the lawless slums where most of the movie takes place. Alita herself is an extinct model of advanced cyborg left over from the war, but has no memory of that time period at first. Most of this film involves Alita discovering her past and exploring her abilities. The movie moves at an extremely rapid pace from Alita being found in a junkyard, to her waking up and integrating with society quite easily.

Amnesia movies are commonplace for sci-fi/action films, but to also make this movie centered around an AI (because she is) makes the basic setup much more complicated than what this script could handle. I had more questions than answers for who Alita was and what her limitations are, not including her physical abilities. And no, the excuse is not “well that’s explored in the sequels.” She came equipped with a winning, charismatic, kind personality, something that an ancient uber soldier cyborg wouldn’t have, right? She’s as altruistic, curious, and caring as a Disney princess, and I couldn’t suspend my disbelief of her being so conveniently lovable. This was not a memory wipe or mental reset, she simply wakes up and automatically is the daughter any father would kill for. I found it lazy and uninteresting, even if she is such a likable person, and even if that’s supposedly the tone the movie wants to go for.

The CGI is absolutely astounding. If Alita: Battle Angel doesn’t win the Academy Award next year for best visual effects, I may as well jump off a building now. Even before seeing Avengers: Endgame or Star Wars: Episode IX, I am convinced this is the best CGI I have ever seen, and at least will see in the near future. Alita is brought to life in a way that automatically makes me empathize with her and want to protect her from the big bad world (if not for the lazy and predictable script). Rosa Salazar was the motion capture actress for this character and she does an amazing job. Salazar’s face and were eyes widened, I’m guessing to look more like the original manga, and it doesn’t take long to see a photo realistic anime girl walking and talking among a live action cast and look natural. I was glad to see this movie on the big screen because of the level of detail I was able to pick up on that I may not have otherwise. Alita is definitely a reason to see this movie on a large format if you can, if for nothing else.

Christof Waltz does a mediocre job with his character, but he isn’t given anything elaborate to work with. If you’re a big Waltz fan, you could survive skipping this movie if it’s just to see his next performance. All other characters also do a middle of the road job with their acting, usually engulfed in CGI bodies or surrounded by interesting visuals. I do like this movie’s art design, which can partially be credited towards the manga, but I found the combination of old tech and new tech very appealing and, dare I say it, believable. Not everything is a slick new piece of technology, and it’s right up the ally of other “dirty” “rusty” or “smudged” cyberpunk design. I can tell plenty of sets were built for many of the scenes filmed on the streets, with what I can imagine have CGI extensions to round out the neighborhoods, vistas, and streets. This movie is a visual feast all around, but I wish it held up a screenplay as worthy.

I’m sure this film only scratches the surface on the manga’s mythology, but the movie still feels packed with terminology and events that I struggled to care about. What I would have preferred is less exposition (hence less straight knowledge of the world) and more time spent with characters doing stuff other than teaching the audiences what things are. Do we have to be told what “hunter warriors” are if they keep referring to each other as such? Do we need names of factions and entities of the past if we barely see any of it? Keep it simple, and keep it present. It’s why they didn’t talk for 5 minutes about the Clone Wars in the original Star Wars: Episode IV. But worse than occasional exposition heavy dialog is how this movie lacked greatly in tension. In a big budget sci-fi movie with lots of action and interesting tech or weaponry, I want to be on the edge of my seat. 

The biggest problem of Alita: Battle Angel is how powerful our main character is. The two biggest fundamentals of a protagonist should be that they are an underdog and relatable. We want to see them grow from an ordinary person into something new or better, conquering fears and goals. Alita, while extremely likable, is the strongest, fastest, most agile character in the entire movie. Not only does she contain programming for elite martial arts only performed by cyborgs of her type back in the day, she goes from one place to another winning every fight she encounters, and every fight she starts herself. From the beginning she is a character that has everything handed to her and comes off as privileged and sometimes pretentious. Once she figures out she can literally kick anyone’s ass and dominate in a multiple person brawl, she goes around telling people who have spent a lifetime earning their techniques and fighting abilities that they are lesser than her, and to prove it, she provokes them to get their asses kicked just so she can show off and preach about a cause she’s just heard about.

Even after fighting multiple bad guys and then fighting someone several times her weight, experience, and size, she still defeats him with three out of her four limbs severed. This takes the whole “I could beat you with one arm tied behind my back” to the next level, and I found it obnoxious. How are we supposed to feel tension when she’s set this far apart from everyone else from the very beginning? What also doesn’t work and feels corny is her romantic relationship with THE VERY FIRST guy her age she meets. He has a secret agenda of his own, but I rolled my eyes when the first person she meets besides her father also turns out to be her prince charming. His acting is also nothing special, but the fact that this movie pulls a full on Disney by having them say they love each other after knowing one another for a few days and one kiss felt absolutely nauseating in a 2019 PG-13 film.

I could see this movie working well with kids or teenagers, especially those looking for good female role models. Alita herself is the number one reason to watch this film, and I found her personality constantly endearing. The CGI used to bring her to life as well as the rest of the characters and world is also breathtaking, especially in the close up intimate scenes and shots. But I was bored from a plot and dialog perspective because Alita is simply all-powerful without having to earn or struggle for an ounce of that power. She is born perfect, and only grows more and more capable as the story goes on. I never felt tension or stakes from one action scene to another because I knew she would come out of it on top. I am all for strong female role models, but to be on this level simply feels like pandering. It's overcompensation in place of creating a truly well-rounded and realized hero people can relate to. Alita may be the biggest strength, and greatest weakness of her own film. The story certainly sets itself up for sequels, which I’m not sure it will get, but I will approach any future Alita movies with much more caution than the optimism I had for this film.

5/10

[jigretro]

JIGRETRO

Retro gaming blog 1

FLASHBACK

Hey everyone, this is a new experience for me. Over the past couple of years I have developed a growing passion for video games and I am finding it to be such an amazing and inexpensive little hobby to have. During this time I have watched countless hours of YouTube content relating to this subject and to be honest I’ve been inspired.

I don’t claim to be an expert on the subject in any way but wanted to start making content to bring all us geeks together to celebrate what I consider to be an amazing and overlooked art form. I love music and movies and don’t really see why video games should be considered the ugly stepchild of these other forms of media.

In today’s blog I have decided to focus on one of my favourite titles from the Sega Megadrive Flashback.

Flashback is a cinematic platform game bringing all of the best elements and taking influences of games that came before it, such as another world and Prince of Persia. It was developed for the Megadrive but was first released in 1992 on the Amiga. It was then released on the Megadrive in 1993. The game features amazing hand-drawn backgrounds and all sprite animation is created using rotoscope techniques. Rotoscoping is an animation technique in which animators trace over motion picture footage, creating a natural and realistic look to body movements.

My personal history with this game is that, when I was 7 ish years old, my brother and I got a Sega Megadrive from our parents for Christmas. With me being younger I always gravitated towards general kiddie titles, such as Sonic, Aladdin, Micro Machines and Quackshot, etc. That’s not to say these aren’t great games in their own right, but at the time my teenage brother was into the more gritty/mature side of Megadrive games, such as Mortal Kombat, Road Rash and sport games. Flashback fell very much into this category but, from the moment I saw that killer cinematic intro and the realistic running, jumping and gun play of the main character Conrad B Hart I was mesmerised. It wasn’t like any game that I had seen before and I couldn’t believe the Megadrive was capable of such stunning cinematics for the time.

I was hooked, but this game proved too epic to hold my attention at my age and all I ever did in the game was basically repeatedly complete the first level and a few scenes of the 2nd but I loved every bit of it.

In later years Flashback received an iOS release and, now older and wiser, I just had to download it and give it a really good go at completing. This was a time before I began collecting and, apart from the latest console, any other gaming was done on my iPhone. Anyway, needless to say I ended up completing the game and I absolutely loved every bit of it. It is a game that sits easily in my top ten games of all time.

Spoiler alert, The story is set in a futuristic sci-fi type universe and has major nods to movies such as Total Recall, Bladerunner, Running Man, Alien, They Live, among many others. You play as Conrad who in the first sequence we see being chased on foot and on a flying bike by two characters who eventually shoot him down. This trauma causes amnesia, and you discover that you need to make your way out of the jungle to meet up with a friend in New Washington called Ian. Ian returns Conrad’s memory to him, where you discover that Conrad has uncovered that a shapeshifting alien race has been hiding in plane sight as humans. Conrad then spends time participated in some small mission based jobs in order to pay for forged papers. Conrad uses these papers to enter a violent game show called ‘death tower’ in order to win tickets to back to earth. Upon return he discoveries a plot by the morph alien race to conquer earth. After escaping their brief capture he then teleports to the alien planet for a final confrontation.

The control of the main character can take some time to get used to but the first level provides a good training session to learn all the skills required. Platforming is strong and has obviously influenced games such as Tomb Raider with some great running, jumping and ledge grabbing. Another positive relating to this is that Conrad acts as a realistic human and you won’t find him doing anything super human in his platforming... big falls kill. The combat is excellent and changes with the different bad guys you find along the way, all requiring a different technique to dispatch of them with minimal damage. The puzzle aspect on the whole is brilliant but on occasion can effect the pacing, having a couple of long winded and dull moments (looking at you, job centre in New Washington level).

There are 7 levels, all with a password for return... thank god for save states, as these levels can take some time to complete. Completing the game for the first time will take around the 6-8 hour mark and is a really worthwhile investment of your time. No matter how you access retro games, either using original hardware all the way up to emulation, you owe it to yourself to experience this game. I think it holds up really well.

Many thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed the content. This is a bit more of an experiment for me but, hopefully, if I get some positive feedback, I will produce more content in the future.

[hoogiehowser]

MEDIA DIARY JANUARY

:::::::::: MOVIES ::::::::::

Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse (2018) I liked this so much I ended up seeing it twice. The animation is on a whole different level from everything else in theaters I just can’t believe it. Nothing has immediately endeared me to a character more that when Miles gets to the place where he’s going to put up graffiti and yells “BROOKLYN!” to get the echo. Absolutely perfect. 

Happy Death Day (2017) The trailer looked good but the trailer for the sequel looked even better. Good time repeating movie. Way better than Blood Punch. I’m excited to see more of this.

Alien: Covenant (2017) Had no clue what to expect going in but I actually dug it. It’s just Alien again like every Alien movie but what they do with David from Prometheus makes it really interesting. There’s also some straight up slasher movie sleaze that definitely appeals to me.

MacGruber (2010) It’s just a bunch of dick jokes while a bad action movie happens. There’s no clever spin to it.

Better Luck Tomorrow (2002) Wanted to watch this due to the Fast & Furious connection. It’s a great movie about overachievers and getting away with shit. I think Justin Lin is a great director and his unique voice benefits every movie he does.

Collateral (2004) I didn’t realize until the credits that this was a Michael Mann movie but it was so obvious in hindsight. The premise is simple, Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx are great, and everything comes together in a genuinely cool film.

Wilson (2017) Based on a comic I don’t particularly like from Dan Clowes’ grumpy old man phase. The cool thing about the comic is that each page works on its own and has a different art style. The movie can’t do that. But it’s still faithful to the book which means it feels like a series of one page gags strung together until it finishes. Woody and Laura Dern are great though and it is pretty funny at times.

Blumhouse’s Truth or Dare (2018) There was another truth or dare based horror movie a year before that was a Syfy original. The Syfy one is better. The problem with them both is the supernatural contrivances that make people play truth or dare against their will. It’s such a strained premise.

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword (2017) Guy Ritchie made a King Arthur movie and it feels exactly like you’d expect. 

Thoroughbreds (2017) Girl who can’t feel emotions befriends girl who is very politely hiding her extreme emotions. Things get bad when they start to think about murder. Anton Yelchin plays a druggie scumbag loser. It’s such a good movie. 100% my kind of thing.

:::::::::: TV ::::::::::

The Great British Baking Show (Beginnings, Collections 1-4) Got addicted to this one. I love cooking competitions shows and pleasant ones are usually the best. I like seeing competitors that like each other. I like Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry not trying to tear people down. I love Mel and Sue. It’s just a nice show for the nice people.

Toei Spider-Man (Episodes 1-5) I’m not a big toku guy but Spider-Verse got me curious about various Spider-Men. Takuya Yamashiro wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he was injected with blood from the last survivor of Planet Spider and carries out a mission against Professor Monster’s Iron Cross Army to avenge Planet Spider and his own father. Next to nothing present from the classic Lee/Ditko Spider-Man and that’s totally alright. I’m going to try to watch more because the episode where Spider-Man has to donate his blood to hurt child has some serious heart.

The Prisoner (Episodes 7-17) I started watching this a while ago but only now got around to finishing. Mostly super clever plots and the atmosphere is always great. Patrick McGoohan sells it every single time. Some of the later episodes go really off the rails though. There’s an entire wild west episode. Nothing in this stretch tops my favorite episode, The Schizoid Man, where Number Two brainwashes Number Six to act differently and then forces Number Six to pretend to be Number Six while a different man is already pretending to be Number Six. The ending is solid though and carries a really good tv series to a confusing, surreal end.

Cutthroat Kitchen (Season 7, Episodes 1-7) Polar opposite of The Great British Baking Show. It’s the Mario Kart of cooking competition shows. Everyone tries to fuck each other over and Alton laughs at them the entire time. It’s brilliant.

:::::::::: PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING ::::::::::

TJPW Tokyo Joshi Pro ‘19 (January 4) I don’t follow TJPW and don’t know any of their wrestlers besides Meiko Satomura but I watched this because it was on before Wrestle Kingdom. Meiko vs Reika Saiki definitely made the show worth watching and the rest was pretty alright. Lots of fun, new personalities that I like.

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 13 (January 4) Probably the most I’ve looked forward to a show and it absolutely delivered. For the past few years I’d watch WK and recommended matches but in in July I started following everything NJPW. That added investment made this WK special. Ibushi/Ospreay tore it up and I really hope Ibushi recovers soon. Jay White/Okada shocked me. Naito/Jericho was fucking brutal. And Kenny Omega vs Hiroshi Tanahashi was a match I was so invested in that I thought I was going to cry. If you haven’t checked out New Japan yet this show would make an excellent start. GO ACE!

Impact Homecoming (January 6) Impact has gotten pretty good. I’ve only seen a few of their most recent ppvs but it’s obvious that they have a wealth of talent and they’re willing to tell the kind of dumb stories that I really like. Since Homecoming was in Nashville I went and it was one of the best shows I’ve been to. The energy was insane all night and LAX vs Lucha Bros has to be the best match I’ve seen live. Now that they air on Twitch I’ve been following the weekly show and enjoying it quite a bit.

WWE Royal Rumble (January 27) I always love the rumble but the rumble was weird. Both rumble matches were okay but filled with dumb stuff and way too many recovery spots that were immediately deflated by the person getting eliminated. I like the winners. AJ/Daniel didn’t deliver like I wanted. Sasha and Ronda had a good match. I loved how Finn Balor worked Brock Lesnar’s diverticulitis. Fun show.

NXT UK Takeover Blackpool (January 12) NXT UK doesn’t really grip me aside from the women’s division. I liked this well enough but nothing really changed my mind. Finn Balor made a surprise appearance and he looked like such a star compared to everyone else. Excited to see what WALTER can do here though.

GCW 400 Degreez (January 12) GCW’s brand of hardcore indie nonsense is my absolute favorite. 400 Degreez isn’t the best they’ve done but it was full of disgusting beautiful deathmatch bullshit. Markus Crane vs Nate Webb especially.

NXT Takeover Phoenix (January 26) Takeover always delivers. Johnny Gargano vs Ricochet was definitely the match of the night. I don’t dig the War Raiders schtick but their match was great. Bianca Belair and Shayna Baszler also killed it.

:::::::::: COMICS ::::::::::

One Piece by Eiichiro Oda (Volumes 1-10) I wanted something long to start reading so why not One Piece? Enjoying it so far. I like getting the crew together and Usopp’s story in particular is great. Oda is a master cartoonist. I love every time we get reaction faces.

Spider-Man: Fever by Brendan McCarthy Spider-Man fever got me wanting to revisit Spider-Man: Fever because I remember liking it. I still like it. Doctor Strange accidentally opens a doorway into a spider dimension and Spider-Man gets caught in Doctor Strange’s bathtub and the alternate dimension spiders take him. All this and McCarthy’s art make Fever pretty far out. 

Spider-Man 2099 by Peter David, Kelley Jones, and Rick Leonardi (1-15) Miguel O’Hara wasn’t bitten by a radioactive spider, he had Peter Parker’s DNA put into him by weird future DNA machine and he wages war against the gigantic corporations that control everything. I like Spider-Man 2099. Miguel is so different from the Peter Parker archetype and he’s got claws and fangs. He’s brutal. It’s got a neat post-hero future kind of like Batman Beyond. I stopped reading because the next part is a crossover with Punisher 2099, Ravage 2099, Doom 2099, and X-Men 2099. I’ll hopefully pick it back up because I want to know what happens with the hologram that’s in love with Miguel. 

Spider-Man by Kazumasa Hirai & Ryoichi Ikegami Yu Komori was bitten by a radioactive spider and he definitely wishes he wasn’t. It starts off a lot like our usual Spider-Man but the villains are so much more tragic and Yu deals with some heavy shit. Ikegami’s art evolves from cartoony to serious as the tone of the book changes. He’s a really incredible artist who is consistently pulling neat tricks and trying new things. I really liked this and it may top my favorite Spider-Man comics. It’s just so bleak and unforgiving to poor Yu. By the way, the final plotline is exactly the same as the Sonny Chiba movie Wolf Guy. Turns out the comic that movie was based on was written by the same guy that write Spider-Man. An odd find.

:::::::::: VIDEOGAMES ::::::::::

Axiom Verge Had my eye on this for a long time and finally picked it up on sale on my Switch. It’s okay. There are a lot of clever ideas here that I don’t think work for me. But I do like the decorrupter and the teleport. Some of the movement feels great but some stuff like the grappling hook feels awful. I hate the story. Completely incoherent sci-fi nonsense. But it’s a fun game and I enjoyed my time with it.

Hollow Knight I’ve spent about 30 hours on this game and I feel like I’m close to the end of the story. I absolutely love it. The movement, the combat, and the exploration all feel excellent. I’ve played over ten metroidvanias in the past year (I really like them) and this might be the best. My favorite part about them is how you’re almost never wasting time because there are new secrets to discover all across the map and Hollow Knight does such a good job with that.

[mst3kproject]

520: Radar Secret Service

So here’s a challenge.  My stated goal for this blog is to watch and find something halfway intelligent to say about each and every movie the show ever featured. I’m not sure I can say anything intelligent about Radar Secret Service.  I’m not sure I can say anything stupid about Radar Secret Service.

I don’t know if I can even describe the plot. The introduction is pretty straightforward, explaining to us that the men of the Radar Secret Service can find just about anything, from a school of fish to a hidden murder weapon.  I wonder if anybody’s asked them about the g-spot.  With a tool like that, they could go looking for the Ark of the Covenant or Jimmy Hoffa or something, but instead they’re keeping an eye on a shipment of radioactive material.  Some crooks manage to steal the stuff despite the high-tech surveillance… and that’s where the movie starts to lose me.  I can pay attention to this for about ten minutes, and then my brain just shuts the fuck down.

I mean, I keep trying to watch, I really do.  I don’t know why I can’t.  Radar Secret Service is only sixty minutes long, for crying out loud, surely I can pay attention to something dull and stupid for sixty measly minutes!  I watched the sandstorm sequence in Hercules Against the Moon Men.  I sat through the Rock Climbing in Lost Continent.  Hell, last Thanksgiving I listened to my Dad and my brother-in-law talk about their unfinished home improvement projects for what felt like six days.  Surely Radar Secret Service cannot be the thing that defeats me.  I get myself a snack and my knitting and settle down, but without fail, by that ten minute mark I’ve lost track of who any of the characters are or what they’re supposed to be doing.  My knitting’s on the floor and I’m playing Marvel Puzzle Quest.  Shit.

I start over and try again.  This time I turn off my phone.  I close the blinds.  I do my best to remove all distractions.  I still can’t focus.  The walls of my living room are more interesting than this movie.  I find myself looking at them and wondering what happened to that National Geographic solar system poster I had when I was a kid, the one that showed all the moons to scale.  I mean, it’s horrendously out of date now but it was my favourite poster for ages.  Twelve-year-old me named all the characters in half a dozen unfinished fantasy novels after those moons.  Out of sheer curiosity I googled, and found out that holy shit, you can still buy it! Well, damn, that’s kind of tempting, just for nostalgia’s sake.

Okay, no.  I have to watch the movie.  By twenty minutes in, I still don’t know any of the characters’ names but ‘radar’ no longer sounds like a real word.  In fact, it’s not a real word.  It’s an acronym for RAdio Detection And Ranging.  In the UK it’s also the Royal Association for Dis-Ability Rights, and the Feinberg School of Medicine in Chicago has the Research on Adverse Drug events And Reports committee.  I bet either of those would make a better movie.

Wait, I’ve gotten distracted again. This isn’t working.  Maybe I can watch it in MST3K form.  Radar Secret Service is so short that almost all of it got into the episode.  I could cheat and do a review based on just that. I do remember snickering at the skit about the Quinn Martin nature preserve.  I should look up some of those people on IMDB.  Maybe I can find some material for Episodes that Never Were.  It says Lee Meriwether was in a mad science movie called The 4-D Man, which looks remarkably bad.  I definitely need to see that…

God damn it.

Okay, clearly having a computer at all is too much distraction for me to watch this movie.  I’m gonna have to pop the disk into an actual DVD player and watch it that way.  Some kind of drastic measures are definitely needed here because I’ve written almost an entire page of this review and I have not yet actually managed to watch the fucking movie right through in one sitting.  There’s nothing there to watch.  Where are these people?  Who are they?  They all look and dress and sound alike.  They all have identical mustaches and drive indistinguishable cars – I can’t even tell which is the Radarmobile unless we’re in a wide shot that shows the Christmas ornament on top.  The only reason I’m sure that Waitress and Leopard Lady are two different characters is because they had a scene together at the beginning.  Are they both wearing the same wig?  They’re so alike that when one of them shoots the other I’m tempted to say it counts as suicide.

The characters have no character.  The script imparts nothing to us besides minimal so-called plot information and the performances are dismally bland.  The music is boring.  The direction is listless.  It’s no wonder they picked Oh!! There’s a dead man there!!! as the stinger because it’s literally the only memorable moment in the whole film. I’m not using literally to mean emphatically, either.  I’m using it to mean literally.

Why did they make this movie?  I don’t understand.  It’s not an action flick because there’s no action.  It’s not a drama because there’s no drama.  It’s not a comedy because nothing’s funny.  It’s not sci-fi because there’s no science.  What are we supposed to take away from this experience?  What are we supposed to learn?  The movie is like a black hole, sucking in our hopes for entertainment and hiding them away behind an event horizon of boredom and confusion, from whence they can never be retrieved.  I feel actively stupider for having seen even part of it.

Even if I were to make myself watch it all the way through, from the finding of the gun to the final arrest, in a single sitting, even if I were to force my unwilling brain to recognize every frame of it, what could I possibly say?  There’s nothing to analyze here, no meaning, no metaphor. Even on a technical level, there’s not much I could add to what Mike and the Bots already said.  Yes, everybody looks the same.  No, I have no idea which side most of these identical gray suits with meaty 50’s men in them are on.  No, the people who made this movie have no idea what radar is or what it’s used for.  The Radar Men from the Moon were more relevant to radar than this movie and I don’t think they ever even used the word.

I could just talk about the short.  The short!  A shining beacon of something I can actually pay attention to!  Sadly, the very fact that I could fill a review with my thoughts on Last Clear Chance is surely a sign it deserves an entry of its own.  Where does that leave me?

It leaves me sitting on the sofa, realizing I haven’t paid any attention for the last few minutes because I zoned out dreaming up flowery metaphors for my struggle.  I’m starting to think the only way I could actually watch this is to strap myself into a chair with my head locked in place and tape my eyes open, like something out of A Clockwork Orange.  Even then, I might still manage to get distracted. My entire body is rejecting this movie.  I think I’m making antibodies to it.

I cannot tell you how much I’d rather be watching A Clockwork Orange than Radar Secret Service.  Hell, I’d rather be watching Caligula.  Caligula had stuff to look at.  It had characters with names.

Maybe… wait.  What if Radar Secret Service is actually a brilliant work of art and I’m missing it because I can’t pay attention for long enough?  Maybe it’s a satire of 50’s futurism and tedious moviemaking!  Maybe the ultimate-spy-tool-radar premise is a comment on the erosion of our privacy in an increasingly technological society!  Maybe the reason it’s so hard to tell the heroes from the villains is because the modern world has rendered both concepts irrelevant!  There is no good or evil anymore, just men in suits either giving or obeying orders, no one individual identifiable as the reason why something happens!  Maybe the two women are identical because the filmmakers are trying to point out that patriarchal society turns women against each other and ultimately against themselves!  Of course!  It all makes sense!  How did I not see it before?

I have no memory of typing that last paragraph. What’s going on?

Oh my god.  Oh shit. I know what this is.  It’s the hypno-helio-static-stasis!  I’m already in its clutches!  The world is fading.  I need to inject something thoughtful and entertaining directly into my eyeballs immediately.  There may still be time if I can only reach Netflix…

And suddenly, there it is, looming over me like a glittering spaceship above Devil’s Tower National Monument… like a saving angel… could it really be?  It is!  It’s Close Encounters of the Third Kind!  I reach out for it.  I can already hear its dulcet tones ringing in my ears like a siren song… doo-doo-DAH-doo-DAH…

And then the ship wavers and fades away, leaving only a brushed chrome ball.  My browser’s not even on Netflix.  It’s on DailyMotion, and all that’s playing is a shitty print of Radar Secret Service.

I hope you guys enjoyed my mental disintegration because it’s all the review you’re gonna get.  See you next week.  Fuck this movie.

[moistwithgender]

Anime I think I remember watching this year

I need to keep better track of this I guess.

Aggressive Retsuko: Great! Very likable characters (even the bastards), just the right amount of millennial cynicism. 9/10 Aggressive Retsuko Christmas Special: It's not about Christmas, it's about instagram. It's great and extremely real (watch the series first though). Digimon Adventure tri 1 & 2: This is actually very boring so far. I planned to jump back in with the english dub, which is honestly how I should have been watching it from the beginning. Unfortunately, I haven't gotten around to it. Kado The Right Answer: If this show had not been sabotaged from the inside out in the last 2-3 episodes, this would have probably been up there with classics like Bebop. WEST WING: THE ANIME, we would have called it, or something. I haven't watched West Wing, but it's all bureaucracy, right? 8/10 in this universe, 10/10 in the alternate universe where it didn't shit the bed. Angolmois: I got halfway through this before the low budget and my own exhaustion had me drop it. Unfortunate, since anime never adapts the mongol invasion. Planet With: In the running for series of the year, probably. A super robot show where the ultimate moral is that, actually, rehabilitating your enemies is better than killing them. Will rewatch in the future, I'm sure. 10/10. Asobi Asobase: Hina Kino (Hanako)'s is going to go down as a legendary voice actress if I have any say in anything. Which I do, because I'm in charge of the industry now. Which means we're taking out queerphobic jokes, wrap it up people. 8/10, would rank higher without the bad takes. Cells at Work!: Really fun concept, has *implications* of a deeper narrative to be had built into the worldbuilding, but ultimately the whole season is just "oh I bet this irl thing would translate like this in my setting" on repeat. Still, an easy watch. 7/10. Hanebado!: There's a lot that could be good about this. Themes of toxicity in competitive spaces, overwork, abandonment, and trauma. Ending had a lot of people upset because it either miscommunicated how the protagonist moved past her trauma (best case), or just completely dropped the entire arc because...I don't know why. I rated this 9/10 on myanimelist, but it probably deserves lower. I'm still over here wanting to believe I missed something in my interpretation. Hoping for either a second season or a faster manga translation. My Hero Academia S3: This season had some high points but I felt it was considerably less interesting overall than the second season. However, Deku vs Bakugou was genuinely one of the best moments of the series thus far. My Hero Academia The Movie: Pretty standard shonen series movie for the sake of having one. Nothing groundbreaking here. But hey, I got to listen to "You Say Run" in a theater, which was almost worth the price of admission on its own. 6/10. Ushio & Tora: Both seasons, thirty nine episodes. Waste of my time! Maybe this series was just meant to be consumed bit by bit, but I just found it really shallow in the end. 6/10. Chio's School Road: Another *brilliant* comedy that is ultimately brought down by the occasional queerphobic humor. Get it toGETHER, guys! In any case, I care about these stupid children now, and hope for a season two soon. 8/10. Angels of Death: It took about 14 out of the total 16 episodes before I suddenly stopped hate watching it and started laughing at its unwarranted self seriousness and paradoxical writing. Still, kind of frustrated I stuck with it anyway. 4/10. Night is Young, Walk On Girl: Gorgeous movie that has to be seen, but. I wonder if it's Yuasa or the original writer of these books that insists on the resolution to all conflict being "heterosexuality". 9/10. Haibane Renmei: I got four episodes in before the Funi/Crunchy split happened ;__; it's really good tho Dragon Pilot: Definitely gonna rewatch this one one day too. There is a density of theme and execution here that I cannot yet fully unpack and it's just so good. Also the english dub is good, and is how I preferred to watch it. It also has a lesbian and isn't afraid of her, even if her role is very small. It's something. 9/10, maybe 10/10. Mirai: I fucking love Mamoru Hosoda's films. 9/10. Zombieland Saga: I have the sneaking feeling that they wanted a few more HOT PROGRESSIVE TAKES to be fit in before the season ended, but restraints got in the way. We had a sex worker idol who never got her backstory episode, and actually Tae never got hers either. It's still a 9/10 for me, but I'm hoping for at least a followup OVA. And a movie. Granblue Fantasy: I finished the full season, save for the "omake" episode that I assume takes place in the alternate universe where Protagonist Is Girl. This was somewhat throwaway cozy saturday morning nostalgia for the old days of Final Fantasy before that game series became more grounded in contemporary and sci-fi settings. It was also something I watched as a primer for the incoming Platinum and ArcSys games, because I'm not gonna play two gacha games at the same time. Hilariously, the--like--twenty new characters from the gacha that showed up in the last episode were all more interesting than the cast of the full season. 7/10, 10/10 for having a race of hot girls with horns (there are also guys but who cares). Hi Score Girl: This show is a love letter to growing up with arcades in 90s Japan and also struggling with making friends and ohhh my god every time the idiot main boy stops paying attention to important interpersonal plot and just starts infodumping about a game, I tragically see myself. It's very good, the girls are GOOD GIRLS and deserve better and the writing seems fully aware of that.  The series unfortunately ends on a stock romantic plot beat cliffhanger that I have to wait until March to have ultimately resolved in THREE EPISODES. Despite that, it's easily a 9/10. I list a lot of 9/10s but it's been a good couple seasons and there's just...a lot of range there. Number scores are bullshit. Watch anime. Shin Getter Robo: Probably the last show I'll have finished before the year end. It's my second exposure to Getter Robo (my first was reading Getter Robo Go, which actually takes place after this), and it's still good, but oh god. These guys are dumb bastards but there's a note early in that has aged particularly badly in the MeToo era. Not sure if the show got better because I switched audio tracks to English with VAs I have nostalgia for, or because they broke through the bottom of a lake and wound up in alternate history Heian era Japan, stranded for multiple years. With a giant robot. I liked that part. 8/10. Shows I took a break from due to burnout and need to pick back up: Run with the Wind, Rascal Does Not Dream of Bunny Girl Senpai, Vento Aureo, SSSS.Gridman, Hinomaruzumou, Ms. Vampire who lives in my neighborhood, As Miss Beelzebub Likes It., Devilman Crybaby, That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime, Skull-face Bookseller Honda-san. SO MANY!!