#the people in my life are better my mh is better my life feels better my grades are at their best !!!

[d3cayingdolly]

sitting in my creative writing class with pink bows in my hair and lana del rey playing in my headphones and a book called sluts in my bag

[cowboy-like-moony]

I just want to know if taylor would still be fine with dating that man if he had called ice spice a b*tch because we all know how she feels about men calling her that, but I honestly think the way he talked about ice spice was just as bad (and a lot of the things he said in general are wayyy worse) so would she care if her boyfriend called some other woman a b*tch? I'm just curious

[primrosebow]

Do you draw or write for the girls? Because I would love seeing any type of Lute, Charlie or Vaggie art in your style

Also I would eat your art 20/10

Short answer: yahhh xoxo💞

Long answer:

_-->Various hazbin hotel women x reader // art

//

!Content warnings!:the usual nsfw, this has the gals listed in the ask🫡 a few headcannons added for flavor, gn reader cause I never specified literally anything, more words than usual.

We are SO BACK 💪💪💪 request things ‼️ My activities would get me perma banned from the vatican, I'm afraid.

Charlie //

I, unlike most other people here, believe that charlie most often tries to take the role of a dom! She's used to trying to fix everyone else's problems, but, she'll crumble if she ever gets treated like the perfect princess that she is. Call her beautiful, praise her, give her that affection she desperately needs. She's been helping her citizens for so long, she deserves to get taken care of!

Honestly, when you slowly push that vibrator inside her after what felt like an agonizing ammount of time for prepping, she was ready to cry on the spot. She can barely believe you even talked her into being in the receiving end of this -she's the one supposed to be pleasing you!- Getting this much attention and love made her brain go all fuzzy and tears well up in her eyes as her limbs felt weak; she was trembling far too much from the overwhelming pleasure she felt right then to truly care about what this whole situation did to her ego.

She doesn't realize her horns have made an appearence as she pleads with you: come on! You were giving her so much attention just a minute ago! Please! Being as close to you as possible is her only wish right now. Her pitiful tone and cries for you directly contradict how her tail is shaking at it's tip, much like that of an excited cat -she's enjoying this far more than she expected-.

If you do decide to give in and finally rub on her already overstimulated clit just as you had been doing before, she'll cling onto you for dear life- practically sobbing as you give her precisely what she needs. Maybe she can get used to being treated nicely by you. (She learns that she cannot get enough of the overwhelming passionate act of letting you be in control, it's far too good for her to only experience it once.

She'll soon get a little cocky though... she isn't the daughter of the king of pride just because of her name, if you catch what I'm throwing)

// //

Vaggie //

Vaggie has placed quite a notorious quantity of expectations on herself. She's always been this way, and, continues to be despite your affirmations of her worth. Your constant and relentless words of praise to her: how beautiful she is, how strong, how perfect, how brave, how hot- it all got to her head very quickly. Your words contradicted her thoughts on herself but the way you kiss along her neck makes any thought melt away from her brain and be replaced with pure emotion.

// //

"Mh.. please, darling- I-" she tried to form a sentence, eventually getting cut off by her own moans. Her nightgown was pushed up as she laid with her back against your bed, squirming slightly as she feels your fingers rub against her insides. She clenches around you as you drag your thumb over her swolen clit, which was begging for your attention since the very start of this. Her hips stutter as she can't pick between indulging the stimulation and running away from the pleasure.

Her eyes struggle to keep themselves open, but you had told her to look at you during this. She couldn't let you down. Not when you were saying she was "doing so good f'me". Those are some of the few words that can pierce through the thick veil of the ecstasy-like feeling of your attention and carve themselves into her very soul. She was good. Good for you. She couldn't ask for anything better, and, won't- can't be letting you down.

You.. leave her easy tasks such as looking at you and being a little quieter just so she feels like she's still, in some way, being useful to you. Slow and steady wins the race, and, soon enough you hope to remove the constant anxiety of servicing you from the act of love you want to give her.

Lute //

Lute is quite interesting because she has this weird duality between wanting approval and not being able to take said approval. Sometimes, she'll activelly attempt to rile you up enough that you'll punish her (something you have already told her is not necessary, since you can be harsher on her if she simply asks) but please don't blame her! She's just used to being treated roughly, it's "safer" for her to stay in her comfort zone of thorns and cruel words at first.

But only at first. Like I said, she really does want to feel loved. One of the first times you attempted to give her the affection she craves, after having learned that she can't deal with the purely lovey, sappy affection yet, you had to get resourceful with bringing her the love she needs.

"Awh sweetheart, you can't handle this?" You dig your fingers even deeper into her, a squelching noise arises from the action because of just how wet she already is. She groans at your words, and, if you didn't know any better, she'd have sounded like any other cheap sinner from lust with how aroused she was at your teasing. But you do know better. Your comment- it was slightly mocking, it was maddening; it was a challenge. For her to keep her composure for as long as she can. Lute grabs onto you even harder so she can regain some sense of stability, finally locking eyes with you. She moves her hips slightly against your fingers. Despite it being her own action, she groans. She says in a shaky tone

"Do your worst."

Ah, you can't deny such a request, now, can you?

// //

BONUSSSSSSSSS‼️

Velvette //

"Agh- fuck you! H-ah-" she tried to act mad, don't get her wrong. She really did. But that's astoundingly hard to do when your lover has their hand in your panties and is currently relentlessly and harshly rubbing against your clit like it was the last thing they'll ever touch.

You really could not have picked a worse time to do this; right before one of her new collection showcases? Did you want her to die? You forcefully push her thighs apart when she pressed them toguether, not letting her even attempt to get back a semblance of composure. As if that wasn't enough, you had locked her bracelets toguether behind her back, and, even if she wouldn't admit it to a single soul, it really turned her on.

She tried to think as hard as she could, try to offend you, try to play her own pleasure down, but she really couldn't. Empty remarks about your incompetence or appearence or literally anything she could get her mind around slowly melted away into moans and whines, the much too familiar shame from getting overwhelmed so easily by you also pushed aside by a desperate search for her own release.

When she finally did cum, she doesn't hold back on how loud her moan of your name was, her thighs trembled as she leaned on your body for support. She intentionally turns her head away from the mirror so she won't be faced by her own overstimulated self, and much less your self-satisfied grin as you watch her panting against you.

Oh gods... what was she doing again? Hmm.. OH YOU BASTARD YOU RUINED HER PANTIES! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW EXPENSIVE THAT FABRIC WAS? FUCK YOU.

Let's just hope that the fashion gossip blogs don't catch onto how uncharacteristically out of breath she was during that showcase!

I love piracy so much RAHHHHHH‼️‼️ if buying ain't ownin, piracy ain't stealin, but I wish it were. IMAGINE‼️ you download idk ratatouille and they just don't have it anymore. "Guys they took ratatouille again..." I wish. I wish watching media through torrent sites was like taking various items from ikea.

I WOULD download a car.

@bigfatbimbo cause of the little bonus of velvette

[mbsneur]

Shooting Stars

Misa Rodriguez x Reader

Summary: just misa and y/n are in love

Warnings: Pure Fluff

My Masterlist

please read this text before going to the story

please don't be so strict with me but rather write to me what I can do better or what you wished were different. also tell me if you find the story too long or too short.. Also write to me if you liked it. My requests are always open (and English is not my first language so don't be mad at me) and if you have any ideas for the future about who I should write please tell me… the topics I will choose by myself unless you have a request for one or two people I will Read everything.. in the next survey I will take a few ideas from the old survey and new ones…. now read and I hope you like it <33

You went to Iceland with your girlfriend Misa over the winter break. It had been one of your dreams for a long time to fly to Iceland and Misa made it possible for you

It was like a little surprise. You knew where you were going but you didn't know exactly either

“Venga I’m so excited” Misa grabs your hand and pulls you across the airport to the baggage claim area

“Maria what are we going to do can you finally tell me?” you say laughing slightly and trotting behind your girlfriend

"I mean we are in Iceland let me surprise you I'm sure you will like it" Misa said in her strong Canarian dialect that always made you melt

You stomp around on the floor like a little child and say after confirmation as Misa takes a step forward to get your luggage from the conveyor belt

“Maria can we go get something to eat please” you asked her and pushed your bottom lip forward slightly

“Yes of course” she says with a laugh and pushes you forward with her front

It's cold outside as is often the case in Iceland. Misa is looking for the car she rented for the days

"Misa we've been running around here for what feels like half an eternity when are we finally here" she laughs again at your behavior and points with her finger at a black bmw

She unlocked the car to carry your things in. You already sat in the car because it was too cold outside for you

She sat in the car and brought in a huge cold. You shiver frostily. "Oh Misa close the door I'm freezing to death" You say shakily and grab Misa's hand. "Hey baby thanks for being here I really appreciate you" you tell her and you look into her radiant brown eyes, which are always so full of love and loyality

“Always the best for you bonita you know I would fulfill your every wish” she tells you and pulls you in for a gentle kiss your lips touch and press tightly together

She tries to pull you closer to feel every corner of your lips. The first thing you do is let go and focus on the road. She puts her hand on your thigh and starts the car to drive off

at every stoplight she gives you quick little kisses and leaves you with a pout

It was a wonderful evening in the restaurant. You laughed a lot together by candlelight. Misa's beautiful smile came into your eyes at every opportunity and her hair gently brushed her shoulders. She looked at you like she did on the first day

The evening went by quickly and you wanted to make your way to the hotel “You haven’t even shown me a picture of the hotel yet Misa” you say with a pout, leaning against her shoulder as she enters the address into her GPS

"I told you it is a surprise" she looks over at you and gives you a kiss on the tip of your nose. You frown slightly and give yourself completely to her

“Misa you know I trust you with my life” you tell her familiarly and she smiles, puts her chin against your cheek and lightly strokes your arm

"I know amor and so I trust you with mine mh"

She says and turns to the steering wheel to start the engine. She drove off and on the way the beautiful landscape of Iceland came into your face. Your eyes sparkle from the sight

When you arrived at your hotel, Misa drove through small mountains of snow and looked for the parking space. You quickly wrapped yourself in your scarf and hat and opened the door

It was very windy so you buried your whole face in your thick jacket. Misa took care of your luggage and you made your way to your little hut, which had to be opened with a numerical code

When you went in you immediately got the feeling of warmth. There was a single room and a bathroom. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room and next to it there was a small kitchen and a closet. Only when you looked up you see the huge glass dome You could see the whole sky and your jaw dropped

“Do you like it” Misa smiled and you jumped into her arms

"It's beautiful Misa" you nuzzle against her neck and she holds you up in the air with one arm

"I knew you would like it" she says and kisses you tenderly. You lean into the kiss and put your hands around her neck. You try to deepen the kiss but she pushes you away

“Please put on something comfortable and come to bed with me I want to show you the shooting stars”

You did what you were told. You came back in a thick sweater and sweatpants from Misa. You put your hair in a bun

You see your girlfriend lying on the bed, she looks so comfortable, she has prepared a small bowl of fruit for you

You lie down next to her and she greets you with a little kiss. "Hey finally you're here are you ready?" she asks you excitedly

you nod eagerly "look there" she says you immediately look up and see a sky full of polar lights and stars

“Wow it’s so beautiful I’ve never seen anything like that” you say with a huge smile on your lips “yes it’s beautiful”

“Misa you’re not looking” you say and look into her eyes

“You know I think I’ve fallen in love with you” she says, gently stroking your cheek

"For now" you say, slightly confused and Misa pulls you into her arms "I've loved you since I kissed you for the first time and it's been 4 months but I think I can talk about real love from now on"

“See a shooting star” you say excitedly and close your eyes to make a wish

"Did you wish for something Misa?" you ask her

“yes baby” she whispers, placing her lips on your forehead

Tell me your opinion <3

[scribblesofagoonerr]

All that I ask is that you stay with me | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, A - All that I ask is that you stay with me

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

This is some angst that I thought to write because, well, life's been hard recently and I need a creative outlet to get my emotions out on paper and well, this is the result.

It might not be great and it's not been proof-read at all, so uh, yeah... Let me know what you all think but please be kind :)

And if any of you have any ideas of things to write, I'm open to write anything, within reason of course. My asks are open so feel free to drop anything in there :)

The battle with your inner demons are hard. You sometimes wonder if it's better to leave the world, making the decision without the realisation of how loved you are by the team of girls around you.

TW: heavy angst, SH, MH and talks of suicide and death.

"Y/N are you in there? Hurry up, we're about to start the film" The loud voice of Katie shouts aloud from the other side of the closed bathroom door to alert you of your attention.

You were joined by the girls in a classic team bonding night, a good ol' fashioned film to watch with some sugary treats, curtousy of it being a cheat day.

You are always so excited to spend time with the older girls, you all looked up with some much respect, being a part of the team for a while, you'd grown to love the girls like your own family.

Despite how well you fitted in at the club and how amazing you played football, there would always be people to put you down.

And in this case, it was in the forms of social media.

The internet could be a cruel place sometimes.

"Ye... Yeah, alright. J... Just a minute, I'll be right out" You shakily reply as you held the blade out in front of you while it stared back at you, almost like it was almost taunting you to use it.

Old habits are easy to break, you should have knew that.

It wasn't long before you were slumped on the bathroom floor as you watched the crimson liquid trickle down your arms. It felt like a rush of instant relief to the pain that you currently indured.

One small cut to take away the pain, you thought it would be okay.

Two cuts, you just wanted to chase the rush of the first.

Three, four and five, you realise you may have messed up.

You were doing so well, you had been on the right path to get help. that was needed. You had been clean for a numerous amount of days and just in that instant, the snap of a finger and all of that progress, had just been so easy to unwravle again.

You found it so easy to take a hold of the blade in your hand, press it against your wrist and pierce the skin.

It was a feeling of euphoria that you hadn't felt in a while, it was something that was needed.

The cuts were deep, too deep that even with added pressure, they wouldn't stop bleeding.

"Is this the end now?" You had to question yourself as your eyelids felt heavy, you were so tired and you didn't have it in you to fight anymore.

Was it really that easy to leave a world full of heartache and pain?

Maybe so,

At least you had thought that as you hear the sudden loud bang of the bathroom flying open and clashing against the wall.

"Y/N!" It was Leah's shrill voice that screams out in a panic, her eyes widened in fear as she stares at you. "Y/N, can you hear me?!" she questions with a a quiver in her tone.

"L... Le" You slur her name as you look at the blonde as you can feel yourself slipping into a state of unconciousness.

"Stay awake, Y/N. You have too-- Girls, help!" Leah continues to shout aloud for any of the girls to hear. " You hear me, Y/N? You have to stay awake" she pleads as her tears threaten to spill.

"S' okay, Le. L... Let me go. It's time" You tell her quietly as your eyes flutter between being open and shut.

"No, Y/N. You can't give up... You can't" Leah cries openly, the tears at bay have now escaped. "Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me, please" she adds, her voice becomes louder as hot tears roll down her cheeks.

The rest of the girls all heard Leah's panicked voice and dart in the direction of the bathroom, each of them gasping in shock to find you slumped on the floor.

"Shit-- Y/N" Beths' eyes widen in fear and panic as she takes in the scene in front of her.

"What happened?" Viv questions, alarmed by the sight.

"S... She's hurt herself" Leahs' panicked voice speaks aloud while she's crouched down on the floor and pressing a towel against your wrists to try and soak up the blood. "I... I can't get the bleeding to stop" she tells them.

"Somebody call an ambulance, quick" Katie states as she joins Leah's side to kneel down and try to help in way that she can.

Her usual joking manner has suddenly turned into fearful and that's when the girls all knew this was serious.

"I'm on it" Jen agrees as fishes her phone out of her pocket, dialing 999 and waiting for an answer on the other side. "I need an ambulance, as soon as possible. It's urgent! My team mates' hurt herself and is in and out of unconciousness" the scots' woman speaks aloud,

"Stay with me, Y/N. Stay with me, keep your eyes open please" Leah pleads as she continues to hold the now blood-soaked towl against your skin, her own tears freely spilling down her cheeks as you daze in and out of sleep.

"W... Why would she do this to herself" Steph questions concerned as she glances at you, heartbroken it had come to this.

"I don't know, she was... she was doing better" Lia spoke out, swallowing the lump in her throat as she tried to keep her own emotions in check.

"At least, we thought she was" Beth mumbles as she struggles to take her eyes off your unconcious body.

"She'll be okay, she has to be" Caitlin adds in with vulnerability in her voice that wasn't usually shown to anyone, other than you.

You were the baby of the team, all of the girls were overprotective of you ever since you joined. It wasn't a secret that you had them all virtually wrapped around your pinky finger.

All the girls knew it was hard for you, you had a lot of expectation to live up to and knew that eventually, the pressure would be too much for you and you would break.

They were all there the last time, they saw the good, the bad and the damn right ugly and vowed to not let it happen again.

But, old habits are easy to break, right?

"Ambulance is on it's way. It won't be long" Jen tells the girls.

"I'm going with her" Leah was quick to say. A tone in her voice which the rest of the girls knew to not object against.

You were close with the girls but compared to them, Leah was pretty much your second-mum, older sister figure all rolled into one and she was the one that you always came to when it got tough.

Why didn't you just speak to her? Then maybe things could be different.

"We'll follow you to the hospital" Kim replies to the blonde and the rest of the girls all nod in agreement, they would always be there for you at a time when you most needed it.

They were your family, and family never turned their back on another.

[izzy2210]

Fool

written for @steddiemicrofic‘s April prompt ‘Fool’ wc: 454 | rated: T | cw: Alcohol use, bad friends

I don't really do these anymore, which is a bummer, cus the prompts are really good! I had an idea for this one, so I wrote it! (also the person who gets the reference to a song in thos one gets a cookie)

---

“God, you’re a fool!” 

If Eddie could have a table to stand on, he would. He’s yelling at Steve, who’s staring at him, tears in his eyes. He thought this party would go well. Now he’s sitting behind the house with his heart broken, and Eddie Munson is giving him life advice.

“You think these people really care for you?” Eddie tsks at him. “You really think they will be there for you?” Steve tries to stand, but sways, catching himself on the wall. Okay, maybe he drank a bit too much. “I didn’t think..” 

Eddie’s calmed down now. “I just.. I can’t watch you destroy yourself with those people and not do anything.” Eddie’s grabbing his hand now, pulling him along. “Where are you taking me?” “To my car, then to my trailer. Let you sober up. Make sure you don’t puke all over yourself. Show you what real friends are like.”

🍕

Steve ends up laying on Eddie’s couch, his head supported by a couple pillows. Eddie’s sat on the floor next to him, eating his pizza. 

“This could be a party too, you know. Parties don’t need to be alcohol and loud music and whatever. Could just be this.” He leans his head back, bumping against Steve’s knee. It’s quiet for a while.

“I think I like parties like this better.” Steve says, and Eddie smiles at the ceiling. “That’s good. I hope we can do this another time when you’re not drunk out of your mind.” Steve giggles at that, and Eddie loves the sound of that, wants to record it and play it over and over again until the tape breaks. “Smoke some, watch a movie. Eat pizza that isn’t fucking cold..” He throws his slice back in the box. 

“Almost sounds like a date.”

Eddie stops breathing. 

“I- mh. Yeah,” he whispers. 

“Could be. If you wanna,” Steve says, groaning as he turns on the couch. 

“Steve.. Don’t say shit like that. You’ll kill me.” Eddie stands, suddenly. “You’re drunk.” “I’m sobering up.” “You really are not Steve, look at you.” He gestures vaguely at Steve, splayed over his couch, looking up at Eddie with squinted eyes. “I’m gonna have a headache tomorrow.” He whispers. Eddie sighs, sits back down. 

“Can I stay here? My.. My house is so empty. Just a house, really. Not really mine.” Steve reaches out, a small voice in his head telling him to. It’s the same voice that told him to stare at Tommy H. Or Devin from calc. Or George Michael.

Eddie sighs again, grabbing Steve’s hand, giving it a little squeeze.

“Sure, man. Of course. Know the feeling.”

“Headache?”

“No. Staying in a place that doesn’t feel like home.”

“Oh.”

---

this was really fun to write and hopefully there's more to come for this prompt to make up for the fact that i abandoned this shit in October 🥲

[personasintro]

I get that you will update whenever you feel like it (its unpaid work after all) and i guess its better to have an update even a year later than not one at all. But is it really that serious? Like at this pace just wrap it up make an epilogue even if it’s shitty so at least we’ll have closure… I’m sure you too read fanfics so I hope you get the feeling.

IF you’re open to suggestions If I were you I would either make like 5k word(or less) updates regularly -even with payment if thats what it takes to motivate someone- or I would just give it up cause I’m sure if you’re dragging it out this long it will feel like a chore even to yourself. You don’t owe us anything so if you’re doing it just for us, there is no point.

To all the readers who will run to defend you; I GET IT. I DO. I DONT BLAME HER. But suck it up and be real about it, we will grow white hairs before we see the end of mh lmao 😆🤷‍♀️

I sincerely apologise if I came of bitter bcs I’m not doing it out of hate or whatever but I am curious about the way you work. I still love your works, reread them anytime I need my fix and I am grateful you are still trying to update (I’m grateful in general that mh exist its a super fan read). Is everything I said an oxymoron? Maybe. Do I stand by my words? I do 🙂‍↕️

I love you and will support you whatever you choose to do. I guess what I’m asking is;

Will we ever get closure on their story?

judging by you writing this, i guess it is a big deal to some of you 😅

i won't just wrap up the story to give a quick closure because there are people who can't wait. i understand the long is wait, i do feel bad for keeping everyone waiting but that's just how it is. i explained it more times than i can count, i'm working on it but in my own pace. i'll finish mh even if it takes years, whether it's just for me or for everyone.

little tip for everyone: i used to be very open about what's going on in my life but i stopped because it never really mattered, i appreciate everyone who loves the story and is excited – i am trying my best when it comes to writing even if it doesn't seem like it to you, but you never know what's going on in someone's life 🙏 don't jump into conclusions or guilt trip any writer.

thank you for the support!

[kneelingshadowsalome]

the post about konig and tatoos got me thinking how would he react with his girl doing a full body waxing, since someone else needs to literally see all her body and """touch""" her to do that, and imagine if it's a man 😭

Just imagine König marching to the beauty salon (people are screaming) then simply barging in to the room where this guy trying to give you a wax oh my God 🥲

Unfortunately, that's not going to happen. König won't let you do whatever you want – not without checking the details first. Also: no male gynecologists. Like, none, EVER. (Lol what's wrong with this guy)

But....

now I'm thinking about König's reaction when you come home after a full body wax 👀 done by some innocent woman of course, someone who's a professional & would never have nasty thoughts and intentions towards you 💕

CW: Cunnilingus, edging, overall shameless behavior 18+

König is so, so curious. Of course he wants to inspect you!

He likes his women soft, but let's be honest: this man is happy with whatever you give him. He adores you and worships your body, waxed or not. He would never force you into such a thing (actually, he'd be happiest if you never left home...)

But now that you're suddenly even softer than usual – wait, you're silky smooth all over?? König just can't stop running his hands over your thighs, he can't stop staring at what's between your legs. Actually, he's admiring the view like it's the first time he's laid eyes on a woman.

And yep. He simply has to have a taste.

Long, savoured licks and starved moans ensue as he goes down to enjoy your silk. Better grab something sturdy to hold on to (yeah, why not him?) because this dude is not leaving his favorite place in a while. He will edge and edge and edge you until you cry and beg, because he loves seeing you like this: spread wide open, sweet and bare and so wet that the audible evidence of his treatment is downright sloppy.

Usually, he's a bit more rough, the constant high libido of this man making the sex a sweaty, needy business. But now... Now, he takes his sweet time. He's a different man, sampling you like you're the best cuisine he's ever tried.

You can trash on the bed, you can try to tug at his hair when he drives you to the edge but not over it. You can cry and whine and sob but he's not going to budge. Just when you open your mouth and say you're about to lose your mind, König gives you a sudden, straightforward compliment.

"I like this," he sighs on your pussy with his hand down his pants. And you shouldn't be surprised that he's stroking himself while lapping you. Guy hasn't even bothered to take his cock out – apparently, he's perfectly happy with the prospect of cumming inside his camos like the filthy dog that he is.

"So soft," he gives you another starved lick, "and wet…"

"König... Mh, I can't take it anymore," you moan and gasp on the sheets, your voice so needy and pathetic it could easily be mistaken for a sob.

"No? But I can," he rasps and continues the torment.

You're starting to think that the waxing was a terrible mistake. He's being mean, and for what? Just because you happen to look nice and feel soft.

Actually, König is the meanest man you know, always teasing and torturing you, always making your life hard and your pussy wet. The worst thing is that you can feel the stupid grin spreading on his lips.

"Look at you, little one... Am I being too mean?" He asks as if he can read minds as well. You don't know if the compassion in his voice is real or feigned, but he won't let you linger on that thought for too long. No: your attention falls back to the hot, determined mouth making love to you. His lips seal around your clit, and give you another soft, ample suck.

"Fu–ck," you whisper helplessly in the air.

A mistake... A big mistake.

König stops, now genuinely shocked.

"Such filth from my angel's mouth... Where have you learned words like that?"

"König, don't be ridicu—"

"I can't let you cum yet."

His declaration makes you want to scream. But you know better than that... There's nothing you can do but try to suppress the tears as he goes down on you once more, ensuring you get some more but never enough. You promise him you will never swear again, you babble and plead, but it's no use. König makes you promise it twice. Thrice.

By the time he finally does end your torture, your whole body is a quivering, overstimulated mess. You cum, wave after wave, riding on his tongue like there's nothing else in this world. You're pretty sure some of your brain cells have died during his treatment.

Yes, the waxing was either a terrible mistake or the most brilliant idea you've ever had... You can't really decide in your state of brainless euphoria. What you do know, however, is that König is a huge hypocrite: he always has to ruin the things he views as sweet and innocent and pretty. You're a mess, but not mess enough for him.

He cums on your poor, bare pussy with a few anxious faps – you can do nothing but lie there like a helpless maiden as the hot load lands on your soft skin and trickles over your sensitive clit.

It's downright laughable how he gathers you in his arms after such a shameless, greedy session. He even has the audacity to coo loving nonsense in your ear. He does all kinds of sweet things except clean you up.

When you whine about it, he says he will give his "sweet angel" a wash soon – no doubt wanting to carry you to the bathroom, bridal style, like the perfect gentleman.

[sempsimps]

Gregory + Cheslock x reader nail painting

So they are separate, but I wanted to paint their nails okay, so I'll do wholesome first, and I'll add a line for NSFW stuffs. All right, chill :)

Gregory-

-He loves to paint his nails it's just like normal painting, and it looks pretty, although it isn't typically for males, but he doesn't mind

-It's a good distraction when life gets too much, ya know, and he will do Cheslock's his if he asked for some help

Late in the evening, chilling in his room, talking or just sitting in silence and carefully doing his nails.

"So, how was your day"

Gregory looked up at me and sighed deeply before giving an answer.

"It was... busy"

I nodded and carefully turned his hand to get a better angle to paint his thumb.

"Yeah, you are a prefect, after all. You get a lot of ... uh sidequests"

a tilt of his head told me he thought it was an odd description but smiled a little, shaking his head. I applied the polish once. twice, three times, and then it was done. now to do the other hand, which he gave quickly. softly admiring the first set as they dried, glistening in the light, once I was done, he stared at them for a while.

"Thank you"

"Don't worry, I'm happy to do them"

I smiled and started to do my own nails to look pretty. But as I felt a hand reach out for mine, I looked up at him. He glanced away before asking.

"Could i do them for you?"

"Oh y yeah, have at it"

His touch was gentle, and he did the same treatment I did for him. He seemed to either know what he was doing or was a very fast learner. Either way, they looked immaculate by the end.

Cheslock-

-I feel like he has a little bit of anger management, and painting / picking the nail polish works to calm down. but he can't do it himself that well, so he either gets Gregory, or you to do them, it looks better, and he'll feel a little bad about ruining it, but it's better than blowing up at people.

-and if people judge, he just yells at them. idk

-He likes to rant doing it since you'll listen to him, but it's like a comfortable silence when Gregory does it. Instead, Cheslock wouldn't start the conversation unless Gregory did. idk

He sat cross-legged on the floor, one hand in your lap that was being yassified using the other hand to gesture during his new rant.

"And then he went on to say I was in the wrong! like I wasn't educated in the subject. Also, I'm a damn prefect! He shouldn't argue with me of all people!"

He gestured with his spare hand to emphasize his point, showing frustration with the student by waving it in the air and occasionally pushing it forward. As I attempted to paint his other nails, some polish smudged onto his skin. However, I chose not to say anything, as it was best to allow him to stim.

"Wow, really? and what else did he say?"

I was genuinely curious about what this ballsy person had to say. I briefly paused in the nail painting to look at him, my eyes asking for the continuation of the story.

"Oh, don't get me started, he continued to -"

He kept telling me what happened and soon had to switch hands, keeping still to let them dry. When this happened, He remained silent, smiling at the completed set, feeling both amazed and impressed at how quickly it was done despite his fidgeting. Once it was done, you started painting your own nails, not wanting to end the conversation just yet. However, then it was lights out, and you both went to your separate dorm rooms.

=====okay here's the spicy ideas i had for the same thing=====

warning

cock warming

men whimpering

Gregory is a bottom / Cheslock is a top (SEPARATED THO)

(send me feral ass outside to touch grass, or water, or fire, like anything not electronic, or in my house)

trying not to move?

doing two things at once??? I guess??

Gregory-

I was deeply focused on the hand I was painting carefully running the brush along it, but the hand I was holding suddenly flexed, and I smeared some of the nail polish onto his skin

"Hey, keep still, please,"

"mh trying"

I felt him twitch at my words. I was on top of Gregory, his member inside of my hole, with my thighs on either side of his waist. Gregory's head was lulled back on the pillows. He was biting his lips, trying his best not to move. his other hand digging into my thigh to keep him grounded. he was panting a little and occasionally let out a whimper. It was cute because I had only done three nails on one hand. and there was so much left to do. he was already this sensitive, trying his hardest not to thrust up into me. I was just finishing the fourth nail, but I leaned over to gather more polish from the bottle resting on his chest. coating the brush again, as I moved Gregory whimpered. I felt a slight shift of his cock, this made me pause and let out a shaky breath, as my hole clenched, in response to it another soft buck made the bottle of polish almost tip, and my thigh have a slight spasm. I was teasingly slow with it, but it was getting to me now, I understood why he was coming undone so fast, but I wasn't going to leave a job halfway done.

Cheslock-

it was getting hard to focus. All I could feel was Cheslock, his hands resting on my chest, and playing with my nipples. my legs were around his waist as he sat on the heel of his feet. and his cock was deeply buried inside of me, as a random roll of his hips made me lose my brain every time. his teasing laugh echoed in the room.

"Hehe, come on, don't you want to make me look pretty?"

"y yeah, just ah, it's g getting increasingly! difficult. t that's all"

I snapped back. I planned to do it, just that, but this position was making it hard. Even breathing was a challenge to do while he was being a prick and purposely making me mess it up. As I painted his nails, I couldn't help but notice my hand shaking a few times from his teasing actions, leaving accidentally smudges of black nail polish on his fingertips. Cheslock didn't say anything, but his teasing tsk tsk let me know he noticed. As I finished one hand and started on the other, Cheslock calmly took the brush from my hand, closed the polish bottle, and moved it to the side. before slamming my wrists up and rolling his whole body fully connected to mine, leaning over to kiss my lips

Okay so I hope that was ya know at least enjoyable to read I had this thought with a friend they were innocent and I was like "But hear me out sex" and so here it is look at that I also ended them both quickly I was losing some motivation but oh well (i also hope its not very obvious who I like more o_o definitely not)

[thalialunacy]

[for the @calaisreno May Promptadoodledoo; land o Goshen, this was a tough one, so thanks for sticking with me]

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) 12: family (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31)

Breach imminent

MH

Sherlock groans, shoving his phone between couch cushions and drawing a sleeping Rosie closer to him. 

'Bad news?' John asks from his chair. He looks over his reading glasses at where Sherlock is curled around his daughter, and feels affection sting so hard in his chest that he absently rubs at it.

'The worst,' Sherlock answers sullenly

John runs through the likely options in his head, then goes with his gut. 'Your parents are coming to town?'

Sherlock opens his eyes and stares at John, his expression full of surprise, then affection, then shammy casualness. 'I have been a good influence on your deduction skills, clearly.' 

John chuckles. 'That, or your brother advised me to clear my calendar and clean the flat.'

'Meddling queen,' Sherlock mutters into Rosie's hair. Then his phone pings again. 

I haven't told them.

MH

John doubles down. 'He knows, I take it? About our… development?' 

'You are doing very well today.' 

'Feelings, Sherlock. I'm good at people and their feelings.'

'Yes, yes, that's why I keep you around. Of course he knows; I let him keep the surveillance up in the stairwell in exchange for having none in here.' 

'Ah.' John had suspected as much, though admittedly he had not considered it at the time of the first (very unplanned) tryst. 'Has he told your parents?' 

'Apparently not.' 

Silence stretches. They've come a long way, but John feels too keenly the risk/reward scenario here, and is undecided.

This time it's John's phone that pings. 

It's up to you, of course, but rest assured: they would be inordinately pleased. 

MH

John's eyebrow quirks. 'Your parents like me?' he finally says, going for casual but missing, and he knows it. 

'You're very likeable.'

'You know, from anyone else that would be a compliment.' 

Sherlock doesn't answer beyond a grunt. It's somehow safe to have this conversation in this arrangement, with the comforting stretch of the room and the gorgeous sleeping toddler between them. They're connected, but not so much as to overwhelm. 

'How much time have we got, do you reckon?' John asks, almost to the air.

'Far too little,' Sherlock grumbles.

'Right, but from you that could mean three months.'

'Yes, well, seeing as your birthday is in two weeks, but tis the season of primroses so they have to schedule us in between, I'm surmising it to be about three hours, in actuality.'

John snorts. 'That's a bit harsh.'

'No, no, they're beautiful primroses.'

'Hang on,' John says suddenly, running back through what Sherlock has said. 'They know when my birthday is?'

'Of course.'

'They care when my birthday is?'

'Don't be daft.'

'I'm trying, but they hardly know me. And what they know of me is not altogether flattering.'

'I said don't be daft.'

John can't stop a frustrated noise. 'Then explain it better.'

Sherlock opens his eyes, considers him for a moment, then he breaks eye contact and buries his nose in Rosie's hairline. 'They know of my affections for you. And that's enough for them.'

John's breath deserts him for a moment. 'Sherlock…'

'Don't let's make a big thing out of it, please.'

John wants to laugh. It's already literally the biggest thing in his life. 'Alright,' he says instead. 'But... let me be the one to tell them, yeah?'

Sherlock goes very still, not lifting his gaze. 'You'd be amenable to that?'

Sod this, it's been long enough. John shunts his reading glasses aside and stands, listening to his bones crick as he crosses and crouches in front of the two most important people in his orbit. 'Yeah, course.' He presses his lips against Rosie's forehead, then Sherlock's, without hesitation. 'Try and get rid of me.'

Sherlock finally, finally meets his eyes, and John feels so much he wants to tackle both of them and just cocoon for a little while. Tell the world to bugger off.

So, of course, there's a knock at the door. Sherlock groans, and Rosie's face scrunches up in the universal expression of, "How dare you wake me up, you rude creature."

'Three hours?' John says while scooping his daughter out of Sherlock's embrace. She needs a change. Maybe he should use that baby magic and let Sherlock's parents do it, he thinks with a grin.

'I am not in control of all variables, unfortunately,' Sherlock mutters into the sofa, where he's pressed his face.

John's mouth curves into a smirk as he heaves up (bloody hell, getting older is not for the weak) and turns towards the door. He wishes fleetingly that Sherlock was behind him, in solidarity if nothing else.

Then, suddenly, he is, his mouth pressing against Rosie's sleep-rumpled cheek over John's shoulder. He doesn't turn to John, but he doesn't have to. 'Into battle?'

John nods, then reaches for the door.

[❤️]

[crushedsweets]

What do the proxies think of each other?

this is gonna be kinda messy and disorganized but i got it HANDLED

again, THIS IS ALL MY AU!!! there is a streamline, detailed plot that intertwines, so these characters mingle and grow in ways they probably wouldnt in canon, since different events follow them here O/S Syndrome = Operator/Slender Syndrome, aka slender sickness

Toby: He thinks of Brian and Tim kinda like shitty uncles who only come around every now and again . they used to taunt him a lot cuz toby was always like. annoying, selfish, sarcastic - so it would piss them off, and they'd piss toby off, and then it would be pretty bad. but as toby gets older and calms the fuck down, it gets better between them . he gets pretty sad when they eventually cut him(and everyone) off to move to like, canada or oregon or something.

he likes kate. theyre both outcasts even in a group of creeps and killers and literal monsters.... so toby's always been nice to her. when she refused to come to the cabin, he ended up dragging a mattress over to the mines for her. brings her food, gallons of water, t shirts. she owns random band t shirts that she doesnt even listen to cuz toby gave it to her LMFAOOO . he's the reason kate starts coming and staying at the cabin

Kate: she hates tim. completely cannot stand him. she hates when slendy makes them work together. he's been a dick to her since he met her, because their first time meeting was um. her dragging tim through the forest while he was unconscious. and she was generally part of what tormented him during the events of marble hornets (IN MY AU OBVIOUSLY). he's also uncomfortable because when she kills people she does it with her bare hands. will lick the blood and dirt and grime off her fingers. generally freaky.

she's better with brian. he doesn't remember her tormenting him so much during MH, but he still knows - but he's better at empathizing with her situation. he kinda pieced together what happened to her, while tims just blinded by like. anger and trauma. dont get me wrong, brian is still uncomfortable around her (again, she acts really scary when working), but when she's not working and she just sits there. she looks so tired, and she's so quiet, and its sad. he feels for her.

she likes toby, too. first person to treat her fully like a person after becoming a proxy without her having to like, beg for it (directly or indirectly). again, he brings her things, he's kind to her, laughs with her. he'll tease her and make fun of her but she can tell it's not with ill intent so she'll do it back - she considers him her best friend for a while.

Tim:

HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER HE'S A HATER ok i know i call him an asshole and say he's mean a lot but i legit am not mad at him and i think he is within reason (like 60% of the time) since like. kates dragged his unconscious body through the forest and left him covered in scratches/bruises, toby's almost always throwing the first punch, he's had his entire life derailed for so fucking long, and these kids don't make it any easier- he could've been in kates position, which is the one thing that makes him kinda hesitate when he wants to say smth mean. he usually isnt an asshole unprompted, but he'll always take it the second step.

a lot different for brian. he wanted him dead for a while too. blamed him for a lot of stuff, but at this point he........... has nobody else. brian is his friend. i feel like writing too much about the complication of their relationship kinda takes away from it. theyre roommates, they leave together, they'd fight tooth and nail to stay in eachothers lives. despite everything

Brian:

i feel like i dont have a lot to say about brian since I already described everyone else's relationship...

just to sum it all up with him, he cares more about all three of them then he lets on. but he's also a lot better at showing he cares. he brings some basic groceries and beer and shit over to the cabin pretty frequently, he'll hang around toby and if kates there, ask if she needs anything. she usually just shakes her head, but on the off chance she says she wants like. a specific drink. he kinda feels like he got +1 friendship points with her LMFAOOO . and obviously he jokes around and messes with toby when they're not fighting

and again, same thing with tim. that's his friend. he's missing a LOT of memories from the events of MH, but tim hasn't hesitated in telling him how he feels about it... and he feels bad. it all sucks. even now, he says things he doesnt mean, just because all of the guilt and anger and trauma gets him and tim both riled up. then they go get a drink together and move on

overall, the proxies are pretty messy. brian and tim arent very present anymore, toby and kate are sort of taking on their 'in charge' roles. their relationship slowly mends itself over time, since my AU largely focuses on improvement and recovery and redemption (HOWEVER MUCH THEY CAN ALL THINGS CONSIDERED...), but its still pretty bad

[squarebracketsmileyface]

how did you decide Birdie would call Tim papa, not daddy (assuming it's the single dad au Tim)?

Honestly it's mostly a left over from the version of PGPau where Jay lives and he and Tim raise Birdie together (there's now also a very rough version of that Au where Jay lives but vanished Brian style and shows back up in Tim's life years later with a bunch of stuff figured out. This fic has too many au's. So much for me trying to give 'the' au a name so I could keep it straight in my head, now PGPau has like three aus behind it, it's just anything post canon now, whoops. Oh well 💀)

Anyway, Jay just seemed like the dad/daddy parent, and that made sense to me with the whole trans Jay thing, Jay going from dad/daddy to mum/mummy was just too perfect y'know? So Tim became papa because of that, and then I decided Birdie would be 'canon' to Sorry It's Locked and went "well Jay's still gonna die because I love angst too much to give that up" and just ended up keeping papa for Tim even in the more 'canon' single dad Tim au because I just feel like it suits him. Y'know?

He just seems like a papa to me. He's a big loving mamabear to his very tiny very weird daughter, y'know? Ridiculously protective of her, if you hurt his baby he will rip your arms off, but also incredibly soft with her because she's his kid and she survived so fucking much with him even before she was born and he wants desperately to give her the childhood and family he never had. Even if that family is just him and her.

He's a mamabear protecting and loving his cub, except he's a guy, so he's a papabear but you know what i mean 💀

I just love it. Papa suits him, y'know?

Jay's dad/daddy and then mum/mummy, Tim's papa the whole way through, and Brian is Mr. Thomas then Brian, then quickly becomes bubba.

I love it. They're just all so cute.

Okay, I went off on a tangent about Alex here for some reason so I'm putting it under a thingybobber 💀

And with the whole "everyone lives" thing even Alex would probably end up with like, not a family title like the others, but he'd be part of their family in a friend way, y'know? Like, in everyone lives, everyone lives, y'know? And that includes Alex. And obviously he's not just walking around free, but I see him being in like hospital prison y'know? I can't remember what that's called, but anyway. He's in hospital prison and he can't leave because of what he did, but he's not in normal prison because he really wasn't in control of his actions when he killed people, not really.

At first only Tim goes to visit him, and even then he doesn't go super often because it's hard on both him and Alex (though mostly Alex). And he mostly goes because he understands what Alex was going through the best. He understands that if he hadn't had his medication he could easily have been the one in Alex's place. He wasn't "better" than Alex or more resistant to the Operators influence, he simply had people around him who could help (that being his doctors).

Then after a little while it's both Tim and Jay who go to visit Alex, still only very occasionally because, yeah it's a lot, none of them can really cope with seeing each other more than a couple times a year at first, but over time it gets easier and eventually Tim and Jay end up visiting him once every one to two months or something, once Alex's doctors or whatever are like "yeah I think that'll be okay, he's starting to cope better and relapse less when you come to visit him now. We genuinely think it's helping him."

They tell Alex about their life together and eventually Birdie comes up. So Alex knows about Birdie.

And Birdie knows about Alex because obviously she asks about how her parents met, and she asks where they went when they've had a day out, and they don't wanna lie to her, so they tell her about MH in the most kid friendly way they can, and tell her they're visiting this friend who's in hospital and can't leave because he tried to hurt people when he was younger. And like, obviously they are like, "we don't blame him for it, he was really, really sick and didn't realise that what he was doing wasn't 'saving' people like he thought it was" or whatever. They talk to her about the good sides of Alex, as well as very carefully addressing the bad sides, and eventually Birdie starts asking to go with them to see him. And like, at first it's a flat out no, because Jay and Tim have no damn clue how either Birdie or Alex will react to meeting each other, and even just seeing Tim and Jay used to fuck Alex up pretty bad and it took ages to get to the point they're at now. Like, they don't wanna undo that progress.

Anyway, eventually Brian comes back into their lives too, still the same way, with him starting out as a new teacher at Birdies school and then meeting Tim and Jay (well, Lark at that point but y'know) and eventually ending up dating the two of them and Birdie just kinda naturally migrated to calling him bubba, because it's not quite a parent name, but it's that same sort of sound, y'know?

Then like, Tim and Lark have been talking to the people in charge of looking after Alex and trying to figure out if there's a way he can meet Birdie. And like, with Brian back in the picture that's another thing for Alex to deal with so the whole "meet Birdie" thing gets pushed back again because finding out Brian is also alive is just, a lot for Alex, hugely conflicting and all that. Like, he's both glad Tim didn't kill Brian (or Brian didn't die running away from Tim whatever) and also very upset because he failed to "save" him. But eventually, ages and ages later, Birdie and Brian both end up going to see Alex too (after like, much therapy for them both to help them get ready for that, especially Brian) but like, yeah. Idk Birdie's probably like 15 by the time she meets Alex and it's all mostly fine honestly.

Idk I just like the idea of Birdie getting to meet Alex and it just kinda being fine? He's just a guy who got very sick when he was younger, and that changed the way his brain worked so that he couldn't fully comprehend the fact that killing people wasn't necessarily the best way to save them, that they could live with the Operator's presence like Tim had and still be okay. Like, it wasn't his fault. The Operator was literally changing the way his brain worked and without any medical intervention like Tim had, Alex was pretty much doomed from the start. He couldn't fight that. The operator was like a malicious, sentient, intangible tumor pressing on his brain and changing his personality, except it was taken to the extreme, because supernatural monster, y'know?

[glassesntea]

Another sneak peek from my upcoming Levi x fem!reader headcanon

You couldn't shake the feeling that you didn't deserve this, that everything would crumble down, letting misery and sadness flood back again.

You saw Gabi looking at you, a worried expression on her face, "Y/N? Are you okay?"

Even Falco has stopped talking, a similar worry on his eyes "You don't like the stew?"

You gulped. The dread you felt climbing up your throath was slowly ebbing away.

You survived, you were here with people who cared about you.

You were not alone.

"Aha... no, it's fine," you croacked, smiling at the kids. Levi was staring at you as well, but you weren't able to held his gaze for long. It seemed to understand what has passed through your mind and you felt embarassement warming your face.

Don't look at me like that, I don't want anyone's pity.

"And the stew is delicious. Thank you, Falco."

-----

Later on, when the kids came back to their home, you sat down on the couch, reading a book.

You heard Levi approaching the living room, the ritmic tap of his cane stopping at the doorstep. You lifted your eyes from the page and, for some reason, he looked hesitant.

He opened his mouth once, then closing it, as if what he wanted to say eluded him. He limped near the couch, sitting on the other end away from you.

"Y'know..." he tapped his index on the handle of the cane "You don't have to do that."

"Do... what exactly?" You asked, careful not to sound too defensive. He turned his face to look at you, the light of the lamp casting a warm hue on his features. You have noticed that his blind eye was particulary sensitive to the sunlight. You have seen him squinting when you were outside with Onyankopon and the kids two days ago.

He didn't looked bothered by it right now, thankfully.

"Be cheerful like that."

You frowned "Uh? Should I be... miserable instead? Levi I don't know what you're talki..."

"No, wait I..." he tsked, lifting his hand "it came out wrong. What I wanted to say is: you don't have to pretend that you are fine if you are not."

You stayed silent. The old you, the one before the Rumbling, would have deflected his worry with a pleasant façade and a bubbly demeanor. Right now, that girl was chained somewhere deep within you, stunned in her numbness, unable to hide what you truly felt.

"I... I wasn't..." you held your breath for a second, before exhaling " I used to be able to find the positive aspects of everything once. To push forward without thinking much about..." you gestured vaguely "This."

Levi placed his cane to the side, making himself comfortable, leaning back on the couch with a grunt "A lot happened since then. Doesn't mean you should act in a way to make others feel better if you are not."

"Mh. I feel like I don't deserve any of this... not when many others didn't have the same luck."

"You have fought for this life, it wasn't luck. And many lives keep on walking on this earth for the same reason" he lowered his voice "don't do this to yourself, regretting things out of guilt and smothering your feelings won't do you any good."

Your eyes burned but your chest felt lighter, like the weight that crushed your lungs during dinner was suddenly lifted from your body. You sniffed. The book forgotten in your lap.

"I guess you are right. It's just... not easy."

"If it was, we wouldn't be here talking about it."

You snorted "Always the pragmatic, Captain?"

"I mean, you would be with Armin and the others. And... not here."

Oh.

"I don't know about that. But of one thing I'm sure..." you shifted closer, Levi stiffened a bit by your sudden movement but he regarded you with a tinge of confusion "This is the place I want to be regardless of everything. I'm not cut to be an ambassador and despite everything I love being here with the kids, Onyankopon and you. And you may not believe that, but I'm at peace here. I feel like I'm starting to piece my life together."

You placed your hand on his: it twitched, like he wanted to slip away, but in the end you felt the muscles relax. You knew he hated to show his missing fingers, let alone allowing others to touch the area. In your haste you didn't realize it, but to your surprise he squeezed gently and you smiled at him.

"I'm glad." His voice conveyed the same kindness, low and pure. The mellow light of the lamp made the sharp edges of his figure more round, almost youthful.

The eyes... has anyone ever seen this part of him?

As the thought slipped in your mind, the same sensation of three weeks ago came back in your stomach: a buzzing sensation that blurred the edges of everything outside the greyish-blue colour of his iris, the warmth of his skin...

Levi was unmoving. It was difficult to read his face right now. Or maybe it wasn't... because you saw... confusion, yes. Even a smidge of something more profound and vulnerable.

You percived a sense of longing in your chest. A crave for connection. You lowered your eyes to your interwind fingers, just in time to see a current in Levi's other hand that slowly move to cover you, trapping you in an unspoken desire to nearness.

"A-Ah, well, yes. I'm the first to be glad" you slowly but firmly withdraw your hand, and put some distance. Whatever happened, it disappeared like a reflex on the tides. You noticed Levi's expresion closing off again, clearing his throath and crossing his arms, like an armour. He pushed himself farther, like he feared that moment as much as you did.

This tension between you two was something you still didn't understand.

"Well, I'm beat." You streached yourself and got up "Gonna hit off the bed. Do you need me for something?"

"No, get some rest. See you tomorrow" he answered and you hurried toward you room, your heart beating too fast.

I don't know what it was. But I can't allow it out again.

We can't

Upcoming soon

[scribblesofagoonerr]

For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you | Inner Demons

⟫ Alphabet Challenge, F - For what it's worth, I'm sorry and I don't really hate you

Pairings: leah williamson x teen reader, arsenal wfc x teen reader

Hello, I'm back with part 6. Sorry it's been a bit of a wait, life gets in the way and makes it hard to write, but here's the next part. I honestly don't know how many chapters this will have because I'm really enjoying writing it, so hey ho, I might even just make this one small fic series of many ideas' I currently have in my head :)

I don't know if this chapter does make much sense at all and non of it's been proof read again, so it could be a bit all over the place but please let me know what you think!

Thank you for all the ongoing support so far, it's overwhelming to see how much that you all love this, and it gives me motivation to continue to write!

My asks are open for anyone to drop me an any ideas' on this fic or anything else that people would like to see be written, however, I am only comfortable writing anything platonic though :)

You're progressing well to get better and you're slowly returning to usual happy, self chaotic self.

TW: angst and mentions of SH, MH, suicide and death.

"So, what's the food in this place like then?" Kyra broke the silence in the room, where all the girls were all crowded in as they came to visit you in the pysch ward of the hospital during the visiting hours.

It had been 46 hours since you had been detained, 46 hours since you all but shouted at Leah that you hated her.

You really did regret it.

You didn't actually mean that though, and you had been feeling terrible about it ever since the words escaped your mouth.

"Seriously, Kyra?" Steph stares at the younger Australian in disbelief.

"What? I'm just trying to make conversation here" Kyra replies, shrugging her shoulders.

Caitlin can't help but snort. "And you decide to start with asking what the foods' like?" she teases the twenty-one-year-old.

"Yeah, cos' I've heard that hopsital food is disgusting and all" Kyra remarks to the older girl, sticking her tongue out at her.

"Very mature" Steph rolls her eyes at the two of them.

"So, what is the food like then?" Vic asks, peeking interest to know the answer.

"Terrible, I think that even Leahs' cooking might be better than what they're serving on the menu here" You can't help but grin cheekily.

"Ouch it must be bad then" Beth joins in with the joke.

"You'd better not let her hear you say outloud or I think she'd been offended" Viv tells you as she can't help but smile slightly, just happy to see you slowly returning to your old self.

"So, she didn't come with you guys then?" You ask as you pull at the sleeves of the hoodie you currently had on.

You don't miss the look that all the girls share with one another. You weren't an idiot to know something was going on.

"Just tell me what's going on" You stare at them all, trying to get an answer out of them.

"She's outside in the waiting room with Lia" Jen admits, exhaling a sigh.

"Oh" Your smile falters at the disappointing news.

"She wanted to come in with us Y/N but it was hard for her" Beth explains on behlf of the blonde, who you miss terribley. "I'm sure when she's ready, she'll come and see you" she adds, trying to keep the hope alive.

You really had messed up with what you said, you doubt that she would want to visit you, nor would she want you to come back to the flat where you lived with her.

"Oh uh, well then that's okay I guess, I mean I don't blame her for not coming cos' what I said was horrible and stuff" You make up an excuse as you find sudden interest with the floor beneath you.

"It's not your fault for being angry, Y/N" Katie pats you on the shoulder.

"How're you feeling now?" Alessia asks, concerned as a way to try and change the subject.

"Is this your way of subtly asking me if I'm going to try and attempt to kill myself again?" You glance around at all of the girls' faces in the room.

"Y/N" Kim shoots you a disapproving look.

"The answers no by the way" You mumble quietly.

"Y/N" Kim repeats again, a bit louder.

"What? You know I like to make dark humour jokes in this type of situation. It's just a coping mechanism" You tell your captain as you hold your hands up in mock-surrender, who continues to look at you with a certain look that makes you back down straightaway. "Alright, okay, I'll tone it down with the death jokes" You mumble, slouching further down in your seat.

"How's she been doing?" Leah stands in the reception area of the hospital and fumbles with her hands, as she speaks to one of the doctors.

"Y/N has making good progress. I think another day or so and she'll be ready to come home" The doctor explains with a kind smile.

"That's great news" Lia says, smiling as she glances at the blonde for her reaction.

Leahs' eyes widen in surprise and smiles slightly. "Yeah, that's good to hear. I'm proud of her making so much progress in such a short space of time" she tells the doctor.

"It is, Y/N/N has really thrown herself into trying to get better, the therapy sessions seem to be going well too" The doctor tells them honestly. "Are you going to go and see her? I'm sure that she'd love to see you" she adds.

The blondes feels apprehensive, her eyes dart over in the direction of where the doors led to the psych ward, where you would be with the rest of the girls that had all visited.

Leah had wanted to as well, she just couldn't find the courage to actually take the steps and dipped out at the last minute.

"I hate you, Leah" The words that you shouted at her, played in her head on a constant loop.

"Uh, I don't know about that. I'm not sure if she's going to want to see me" Leah confesses, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"Le, you don't know that" Lia squeezes the blondes' shoulder gently as she tries to reassure her.

"I know that she hates me, Wally. You heard what she said before" Leah replies quietly, shaking her head as she takes another glance towards the doors.

"You know that she didn't mean that, Le. You know she is just a kid with a lot of feelings sometimes" Lia tells the blonde, smiling at her.

Leah looks a bit more apprehensive as she shakes her head. "There was so much hatred in her voice when she said, it felt like she did mean it" she disagrees with her.

"She was angry the other day though, Le and you even said that yourself" Lia reminds the younger girl.

Leah hums as she bites her bottom lip "But what if she doesn't want to see me? I know she's going to be angry with me for leaving her here in this place" she admits to the older girl.

"She's been asking for you every day since she has been here" The doctor pipes in, gently smiling at the two girls.

"Really?" Leah asks, blinking in slight surprise.

"Yes, Y/N has told me about the visits from all of the girls but the only person she mentioned that she actually wants to see is you, Leah" The doctor tells the blonde.

"See?" Lia smiles at Leah and sqeeuzes her shoulder. "I told you that I don't think Y/N could ever hate you or be angry, you know that, Le" she insists.

"I know" Leah bites her bottom lip anxiously, taking another glance at the door ahead. "I just can't help but feel horrible for making the decision and I'm weary incase she resents me for it" she admits, quietly.

The doctor frowns at them both. "I know it must have been hard to be the one to make that call but it was for the right one to give her the best possible chance to get better" They explain.

"You shouldn't be blaming yourself for this, Le. It's what was needed" Lia repeats the doctors words, so to speak.

"Yeah, yeah I know" Leah admits, pulling at the sleeves of her hoodie that she had on.

"You're nervous to see her?" The doctor asks, making the brief observation.

Leah can't help but snort slightly. "That obvious?" she jokes.

"I've been in this job for a while now, it's easy enough to pick up on things like this" The doctor chuckles amusedly. "Regardless of what may have been said, I have a feeling that Y/N will be happy enough to see you" They add in.

"SNAP" You scream loudly as you slam your hand down on the deck of cards that are on the table. "HA! I win!" You cheer in glee.

Kyra let's out a irritated huff while she glares at you. "Why are you so vicious with this game?" she asks.

"I want to win" You smirk and stick your tongue out at her, pulling the deck of cards towards you.

"Kyra, you're literally losing a child" Vic chips in, watching the game amusedly.

"Said child is a menace" Kyra mumbles as she pouts.

"Sucks to be a loser" You can't help but quip as you reshuffle the deck of cards in your hand.

"Room for a couple more visitors?" Leah pokes her head round the door and braces herself for your initial reaction to seeing her.

"LE!" You dart up from your seat and run to the blonde, abandoning the game of cards completely.

All feelings of anger had been swept aside as you were just happy to see her in the room. You thought you'd blown it when you told her that you hated her.

"Hi bubs" Leah instantly embraces you in her arms and kisses the top of your hair. "I've missed you, Y/N/N. I'm so sorry I haven't been to visit you" she apologises.

"S' okay, you're here now" You mumble, burying her head in her chest as you refuse to let go off her.

"Oi I'm here too, you know" Lia jokes playfully, knowing that you would want that moment with just the blonde.

"Yeah, yeah. Hi Wally" You grin cheekily at the older girl before you turn back towards the older blonde girl. "I'm sorry for what I said cos' I didn't mean what I said about hating you, I was angry and upset and I really don't hate you I promise!" You tell her honestly.

"It's okay bubs, I know you were upset and didn't mean it" Leah smiles as she squeezes you a bit more tighter than before, being careful in case she caught any of your bandages on your arms.

Moving to sit down on the now vacant chair, Leah plonks you down on her lap as she keeps her arms wrapped around you tightly since it was apparent you weren't going to let go any time soon but she was okay with how clingy you was after she hadn't seen you in a few days.

"Whats' been going on here then?" Lia looks towards the game that was previously being played.

"We were playing cards, but Kyras' being proper salty because she's loosing now" You grin, sticking your tongue out at the Australian girl.

"How do you even loose at that game?" Steph wonders.

"I didn't know you could even loose at snap" Beth chuckles, amusedly.

"Apparently so" Jen jokes, joining in with the two of them.

Leah can't help but laugh amusedly as she runs her fingers through your hair. "The doctor said that you're making good progress" she tells you.

"Mhm" You mumble, resting your head on her shoulder.

"That's good news!" Vic overhears the conversation as she smiles at you.

"Yeah, that means you'll be able to come home soon enough" Alessia pipes in.

Katie can't help but scoff. "She should've never been here in the first place" she sneers in the direction where Leah is sat.

"Katie" Kim glares at the Irish girl.

"What? It's true!" Katie exclaims in outrage, not backing down from glaring at the blonde. "You and I both know it, we all do! She should've never been here, she should have been at home with people that care about her" she insists.

"It's what was best for her" Leah fires back just as quick.

"Was it?" Katie scowls at her.

"Can you guys please not talk about me like I'm not in the room?" You huff and glance between the two older girls.

"Sorry kid" Katie apologises.

"Sorry bubs" Leah apologises.

"Hey, Y/N/N, it'll be good that you're getting out of hospital soon enough now" Kyra slyly grins at you, looking forward to the pair of you being able to cause mischief in no time.

"Yeah, partners in crime reunited again" You grin at the Aussie girl.

"No, no! Absolutely not!" Steph protests, shaking her head. "It took me at least a week to get the ketchup of the ceiling after the last stunt that you two idiots pulled" She adds.

"I don't know what you're talking about" You try to act innocent as you slyly smirk at Kyra.

"Oh, really? So the baking soda just happened to find it's way inside the ketchup bottle, did it?" Steph narrows her eyes' in the direction of the two of you.

"Maybe" Kyra can't help the shit eating grin on her face.

"I know that look, the pair of you are definitely going to be up to no good" Viv shakes her head.

Jen chuckles in amusement. "You two willl definitely be under a careful watch now incase the next prank gets out of hand" She notes.

"Sure, cos' I'm not going to already be watched like a hawk now anyways, right?" You remark sarcastically, peering up at the older blonde.

"What do you think?" Leah replies back, raising one of her eyebrows.

"You can relax, Le. I'm not going to attempt to kill myself again any time soon" You joke, not realising that now probably isn't the best time to make any type of comment like that.

"Y/N" Kim and Leah both scold you at the same time.

You huff when you realise the pair of them are already ganging up on you and remember that being the baby of the team definitely sucks sometimes.

"What? I'm just saying, I'm not gonna, well unless Leah attempts to try and cook dinner again then it's an easy way out-- Ow! What the fuck?" You continue to make jokes about the situation at hand, jolting in shock when you feel a light pinch on your thigh from said blonde you are sat on.

"Language" Leah states sternly, giving you one of her famous glares.

"That was mean of you to do that! Too soon to make jokes about it then?" You pout and rub your thigh to try and relieve some of the pain. "Yep got it" You add, smiling innocently at the blonde.

"So, I thought you weren't going to come in because it was hard for you?" Katie scoffs at the blonde, deciding to bring the subject up now that you were out of the room, having gone to grab a drink with Jen, Steph and Beth.

"Katie" Viv glances at Katie and exhales a sigh.

"It has been hard Katie" Leah admits, biting her bottom lip.

Katie scoffs again. "Oh? I'm sorry, I'm sure it must have been so hard for you, Leah" she deadpans.

"You don't know how hard it has been, Katie!" Leah shouts loud around the room, attracting a few looks in her direction.

"Wonderful" Steph speaks up first, exhaling a sigh.

"Not again" Beth mumbles, shaking her head.

"They're fighting again, aren't they?" You huff as you walk back towards the room with Jen as you can hear the raised voices from the two girls, who weren't seeing eye to eye now

"I think so" Jen agrees.

"Fantastic" You mumble, slowly walking back into the room.

"Oh? And how do you think it's been for Y/N/N? You made the decision to keep her in here!" Katie continues to argue with the blonde, not afraid to be open about her feelings. "You haven't even visited her once while she's been here" she adds.

The Irish girl really hadn't been happy with the whole decision that had been made but there was nothing that she could do herself to stop it from happening.

It had left a tense atmosphere between the two girls and they'd shared a few cross words ever since.

"It wasn't my choice Katie!" Leah insists, continuing to argue with the fiesty Irish girl.

Katie couldn't help but scoff and roll her eyes. "Sure, but you could have said something to stop it!" she fires back at the blonde, not willing to back down from the argument just yet.

"Girls lets' not do this here" Kim looks between the two of them as she notices you walk back into the room with the older girls.

"Katie, come on, just leave it" Caitlin takes a hold of the girls' hand to try and calm her down.

However, neither of the girls were willing to back down just yet.

They were both just as stubborn as one another sometimes.

"The doctors thought it was best since Y/N/N--" Leahs' words were cut off by you, walking in right at that moment.

"Tried to kill myself, I tried to end my life, and it would have worked if Leah hadn't ran in and stopped me, so everyone thinks keeping me locked up in here it will help to keep me safe"

The room is suddenly so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Whoops?

"Hey, at least the therapy is somehow helping to help me express my feelings now. Yay" You deadpan, plonking yourself back down on Leahs' lap as you rip open the packet of Haribo Tangfastics you had brought from the hospital shop. "So, does anyone want a sweet?" You offer, like you hadn't just said what you did.

[rapha-reads]

IWTV rewatch

Season 1 episode 1 [In Throes of Increasing Wonder...] - part 2/2

- [Louis] "It bears repeating, I did not consider myself a homosexual man at the time" - yeah that was the repression talking. "I ended up embracing my sexuality" - oh did you? That why people still write you as an altar boy?

- [Daniel] "We're not here for me" - not yet, Danny, not yet... Your turn will come.

- [Louis] "I had never let myself to feel emotionally close to anyone, much less a man" - okay, this boy needs a thousand hugs. Who's volunteering? Never mind, outta my way, I'm volunteering.

- [Louis] "You could be a lot of things in New Orleans, but an openly gay Negro man was not one of them" - sadly I'm pretty sure the rule still applies in many parts of the world today. Oh, hey, another social commentary! Love those.

- [Louis] "I vowed never to return again. I shut that night out of my mind and turned my attentions back to life as it was before" - sure Jan. Meanwhile Lestat is premiering the yellow dressing gown of wallowing and depression.

- Aaaand it's been a month. Grace's wedding. She's so pretty. "Altar Boys Come Dancing Everyday For God" - excuse me while I go dying of laughter. But also, hey, y'all ready for Louis to lose all of his societal markers and all of his culture? That's gonna hurt. Another reason why making Louis Black is the best choice ever. There's culture here, there's community, and Louis' about to be cut off from all of that, the music, the dancing, the traditions and rituals. But also, if we consider book canon, the Creole community of NOLA and its ties with voodoo are going to come into focus later on. I don't think Rolin Jones will adapt Merrick, but still, it's there and it makes what happens in Merrick to Louis even more intense when you picture Creole Louis instead of white Louis.

- [Paul] "I think you should get married next" - what did I say about provoking the universe? One way or another everything gets manifested.

- [Paul] "'You think Levi loves her enough? You know, Grace needs a lot of love.' [Louis] 'I do.' [Paul] 'Do you think he's givin' her everything he's got inside of him?' [Louis] 'Mm-mh.'"

This. This little exchange is very, very crucial. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs a lot of love. Grace ain't the only Du Lac sibling who needs their partner to give them everything they have. Now consider Lestat: does he love Louis? At this point he loves an idea of Louis, an ideal. Will he come to actually love the true Louis? Yes. Will it be enough? Definitely no. Why? Because he didn't give Louis everything, and that's what Louis needed. Now the other problem, because there is another problem, because the fault definitely does not lie only in Lestat, is that Louis cut himself off from loving, by his own words. Louis doesn't allow himself to love, and thus, doesn't allow himself to be loved. And Lestat, Lestat similarly does not open himself up entirely, therefore does not love truly. *big sigh* Gonna take a good century and more, but we'll get there.

- The shots of Louis and Paul on the roof at sunrise are gorgeous. Light's absolutely gorgeous. Don't know if it was shot on location or in studio, but that whole scene is bathed in warm lights, ethereal light, it's truly gorgeous.

- "'I love you Louis.' 'And I love you too, baby brother'" - exit Paul, pursued by his birdies. Others have written about it better than I (need to find that post), but that's the last thing that Paul says to his brother. Those are the last words Louis says to his most favourite person in the whole wide world. Understandably, that messes him up and he locks the words away deep deep down, buried where they can't hurt anyone else, because in Louis' grief and guilt, it's the words that pushed Paul to jump. Better not to say them and risk the ones he loves. Except you can't live your life and love people locking away the love. You need to get the words out to truly give them power. And that's Louis' downfall after all. He gave some words too much power that didn't need it, shouldn't have that power, and he took the power from some words that should never have lost it.

- [Louis] "That was the last sunrise I ever saw. Perhaps the kindest thing the dark gift has given me. I don't miss the sun, the reminders it carries." - yeah understandable. Do seek out some therapy tho.

- I appreciate how Daniel closes his laptop and follows Louis on the balcony. It shows the depths of his compassion, or even, empathy.

- Oh, hey, social commentary on the world of the 2020s, now. This show keeps on giving. [Louis] "This virus, it turned the world sideways" - yeah, well, perhaps not enough, 'cause look at us four years after/into the pandemic, not a lot has changed, has it? I think it needs a few more turns of the screw.

- [Daniel] "'I get it. I' m gonna die. They're gonna die. But not the vampire.' [Louis] 'The vampire is bored. The human was destroyed.'" - okay Louis you have got to stop hanging out only with Armand, it's not doing good for your psyche.

I love how vampirism corrects the physical aspects (within limits), repairs the broken and bleeding, but can do nothing against the mental illness. Born as a mortal with depression and anxiety? Too bad, that goes on as a vampire, and bad news everyone, now you can't even properly kill yourself! Enjoy an eternity with the parasite in your brain.

- [Mama du Lac] "You must have said something to him, Louis, to make him do that to himself." - we have a contender for Mother of the Year here, guys. Pretty sure she can compete against Gabrielle. The violence of the mother telling her oldest son he's at fault for the youngest's suicide. And now "Paul's in Hell because of you" GREAT GEE THANKS MAMA. I'm gonna go take a swim in the Mississippi.

- [Louis] "Lestat's ambush had disoriented me." - yeah, you have a stalker, baby boy. And depression. And a mother who hates you. And a dead brother. And the weight of being a Black gay man in 1910 New Orleans. That's. That's a looooooot. Oh, and your only friend Miss Lily got Lucy-ed. Babe you need a break and the story hasn't even properly started, lmao.

- "Bless me Father, for I have sinned. Grievously sinned. I'm a drunk, Lord. I'm a liar. I am a thief, Lord. I profit off the miseries of other men, and I do it easy. Drugs, liquor, women. I-I-I-I lure them in and grab what they got, Lord. I take daughters with no homes and I-I put 'em out on the street, Lord, and I lie to myself saying I-I'm giving them a roof and food and dollar bills in they pocket, but I look in the mirror, I know what I am - the big man in the big house, stuffing cotton in my ears so I can't hear their cries. And Lord, I dragged my family into this mess with me. I shame my father. I f- I failed my brother. I lost my mother and sister, and rather than fix it like a man should, Lord, I run like a coward. I run to the bottle. I run to the grift. I run to bad beds. I-I laid down with a man. I laid down with the Devil. And he has roots in me, all his spindly roots in me, and I can't think nothin' anymore but his voice and his words! Please, help me! I am weak! I wanna die!"

Sorry, I needed to put the entire tirade because jesus h christ, ALL THE AWARDS FOR JACOB. The voice quivering. The staccato of the confession, the rhythm of the repetition, "Lord". The crescendo, the way the voice quickens, the way Louis is shivering and spitting out the words as if they're razor blades hurting his throat as he speaks them. This man needs all the awards, now.

And also because this. This is the heart of Louis in the first part of his story. The grief. The powerlessness. The shame. The self-hatred. The religious turmoil. The fact that it's so easy for him to do bad things.

The parallel with Lestat, Lestat who was the pourvoyeur of food for his impoverished family back in the Auvergne, Wolfkiller Lestat who took on his shoulder the responsibility of putting food on his family's table even when his family never had a kind word or gesture for him, even when his family hurt him the most.

And finally, oooh, book spoiler, the "spindly roots" of the Devil/Lestat in him, the tentacles of Amel inside each and every vampire and how Louis was the first one to get free of this influence. Oh, the writers are clever. So clever. And this speech is so brilliantly written. And delivered.

- And finally Lestat the hunter. Lestat the killer. Lestat the monster. The monster with too many emotions.

"This primitive country has picked you clean. It has shackled you in permanent exile. Every room you enter, every hat you're forced to wear - the stern landlord, the deferential businessman, the loyal son - all these roles you conform to and none of them your true nature. What rage you must feel as you choke on your sorrow. The first time I laid eyes on you, your beautiful face, I saw that sorrow. I did not know how it got there or why it was so voluminous. I can take away that sorrow, Louis. I can give you that death you begged your feeble, blind, degenerate, nonexistent god for. But I can do it... joyfully. I can swap this life of shame, swap it out for a Dark Gift and a power you can't begin to imagine. You just have to ask me for it. You just have to nod your beautiful head... and say yes. I love you, Louis. You are loved. I send my love to you, and you send it back round to me. And this circle, this home we barely had a glimpse of... know it frightens me as much as it does you."

Oh, boy, Lords have mercy on me, a second absolutely stunning morceau de bravoure in the span of ten minutes, another epicness of writing and acting and delivering, just as many awards for Sam for heaven's sake, that was phenomenal.

And now onto the content itself. Just as with Louis, this is the heart of Lestat at that point of time, that which explains him - or could explain him, but we have to remember that those are Louis' words about Lestat's words. Louis' version of what Lestat said. But here we see, the loneliness of Lestat, his fear of being alone always. We see his one true big dream, to have a home, to belong, to be a part of something bigger than himself where he'd be seen, he'd be loved, he'd matter. The dream he achieves in the final books of the series, Prince Lestat, the dream that takes him more than two hundred years to reach. The dream he thought, felt, believed was possible alongside Louis. Except neither Lestat nor Louis were ready at this point. Because there is still so much they don't know. About themselves, about vampiric nature, about the world at large. About love and what love is, what love can be, what love should be, what love shouldn't be. Because yes, Lestat does love Louis. Fell first, as we'd say. But fell broken and twisted, didn't understand the nature of this love, didn't realize that you cannot love an ideal, an image, an icon, that you must love a real being with all their flaws and complexities and paradoxes.

And another thing is how at the start, Louis is hang up on his religious upbringing and its trauma, while Lestat rejected it all, or claims that he did. And then the steam inverses, and in the late 20th century (if we go by book canon), Louis's full on atheist and doesn't care anymore about religion (written black on white in the books), while Lestat is going through crisis of faith after crisis of faith (Akasha, the body thief, Memnoch...). They're not traveling the same Devil's road, and their roads are not joining together, not yet, not for a very long time, and all their efforts to make their separate roads one singular one will harm them more than if they hadn't done anything.

part 1 | episode 2 | episode 3 | episode 4 | episode 5 | episode 6 | episode 7

[personasintro]

Hi Mimi, hope you are doing okay.

About Exittixe comment earlier and your response, I think she made a point of how some of the MH readers might feel. We know it is your story and we know it your writing style, but that’s not the point. I just wanted to reinforce the idea of you receiving this kind of feedback with an open mind.

The wait has been long, longer every chapter. MH is a really great story and it is really great you decided to post it but please take into an account all the feedback we readers give you, the good one and the “bad” one. You are defensive when someone brings this up, but maybe it is worth thinking about it?

Is it really strategic to write 15k-20k chapters and post them 7 (or more) months between them? MH chapters didn’t used to be that long and either the wait time.

Is it really a “compensation” (as you have sort of called it before) to write really long chapter if the time to write them is 9 months?

Maybe it is something about trying to balance about your life and everything you face everyday with writing not only this story but all of them (away from you, employed, monachopsis, love lockedown). Maybe writing long chapters is not the answer? Or maybe your daily life truly should be your main focus cause as you said we don’t know what you are going through and writing and tumblr maybe isn’t helping you in your real life? I don’t know, I just wanted to point out some ideas, some (hopefully) useful feedback.

I’m not advising in anyway to abandon writing -I hope you don’t feel like that is really the solution! :(- haha I really wanna know how MH ends :) just please consider this so we can hopefully came to a sort of better equilibrium? For you and for us as readers. I imagine nobody likes waiting 9 months, nor you or us.

hey, thank you and i hope you're doing well too :)

i do take these kind of opinions with open mind and i respect it, just as much as i wish everyone would respect my decisions. there is never any intention to make such a long wait, i do not plan this and purposely make everyone wait. but that's just how i write. i would much rather write long chapters and give you guys a good quality chapter than write a chapter that consists of two scenes and has let's say – 5k words. trust me, the chapter would be uneventful and you would just not enjoy it – at least most of you. i know i would not enjoy putting something like this out and expect everyone to love it.

thank you for your opinion, i'm aware there are two types of people when it comes to this debate and i appreciate everyone that's still here, but this is how i decided to do things. i love writing long chapters and putting something big out, just as much as i enjoy reading such stories. there are surely many writers out there that write short chapters in a short period and that's okay :) we all have different styles and way of doing things when it comes to our stories.

have a lovely day ♡