#the pearl and gem pictures are platonic to me

[thecoddaughter]

Gem (specifically GeminiSlay) is Cop Car by Mitski

again, i do not have the energy to learn how to edit properly and cannot animate so you get my canva pro abominations. This one is using screen shots, wiki, and some pinterest photos

[yacinthemorning]

Birdsongs

Chapter 6

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Summary: The Life Pilgrimage is the biggest music festival of the century, set to take place all across the continent. Small-time rock band, GIST, and the up-and-coming alternative band, Empire, are both lucky to be among the hundreds set to make appearances, but there's just one problem. Neither can afford the travel expenses on their own. For better or worse, they're stuck with each other for the next five weeks as they try to make their dreams come true.

And, perhaps, among the chaos and music, two unsuspecting souls find one another...

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (slow burn romantic), Joel/Lizzie (romantic), Jimmy & Scott (platonic)

Warnings: Alcohol, drugs, peer pressure, mild homophobia, bar fight, life crisis, anxiety, dancing

It was just after seven that they all walked down to The Mineshaft Pub, the favoured locale for dancing according to a woman in town. The decor was western, with the walls covered in historical pictures of the old miners that used to frequent it. Not the place to find anything fancier than a rum and coke.

It was surprisingly packed for a week night, though half the patrons were vaguely familiar. The second they entered the bar there was a shout in their direction, and Scott’s face lit up. A large woman pushed through the crowd, a lanky man on her tail, in neon everything like they expected a rave rather than Tim McGraw. “Scott, dear! You made it!”

“Cleo! Joe! I thought we were ahead of you.” He laughed, happily accepting a hug which quickly continued on to Pearl. Scott vaguely turned to the rest of them. “This is my band. Lizzie, Joel, Jimmy, this is Cleo and Joe from HHH.”

“And those are my guys,” Pearl threw her thumb over her shoulder to the rest, “Gem, Impulse, Skizz, and Tango.”

“A Pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Joe bowed like he was in a medieval court, which contrasted greatly with his thick southern accent. Gem giggled. “I didn’t happen to catch your bands playing a the last venue, but I hope fate is kinder to us at the next.”

“I think I heard a bit of you guys!” Intruded Skizz, pushing past Scott in his excitement. “You guys have crazy range, real interesting mix of folk and disco you got going! Especially with your poetry.”

It sounded like a horrendous mash-up to Jimmy, not even able to picture how it came together in his mind. Until he heard it himself, he’d just have to trust the event organizers’ tastes. The three groups exchanged a few more pleasantries, Scott and Pearl slowly drifting to Cleo’s side. Then, both were being beckoned away with promise of free food and dancing. “Watch your drinking, Jim. You know how you get.” Scott called before they disappeared into the crowd.

Jimmy huffed. Well, that was two less people to pay for, at least. Fwhip shrugged, and waved down a waitress as they found a pair of tables, “We’ll see them later. For now, lets get some wings and beer.”

“I think I’ll just have a coke.” Jimmy murmured while he slipped his guitar onto the back of his chair. He read through the tiny menu, only for it to be snatched away from him. “Hey!”

“Nuh-uh. C’mon, Jim, you’re a big boy now. We ain’t smokin’, it’s just a drink.” His manager insisted, ordering full pitchers of whatever beer was on tap for the whole table immediately along with the wings platter. “Joel can be our good little sober boy today.”

The man’s head shot up off the table immediately, “Uh, excuse me? I need at least two mugs of pisswater before I’m touching that dance floor, and Lizzie isn’t gonna let me not dance.”

“It’s fine, Fwhip, really.” Jimmy tried to insist. Some of GIST were looking at their table with concern. Tango’s brow knit behind his bright red sunglasses. He could feel his ears get hot, shrinking in on himself. “I’d rather do it then risk no one.”

Fwhip wasn’t going to take no for an answer, though. Not tonight. “You’re only saying that cause you’re still embarrassed about how you acted at Sausage Fest after downing those seven mojitos.” He teased, and god were those memories Jimmy would rather forget.

A mug slammed down in front of him, and the biggest pitcher Jimmy had ever seen saddled up beside it, Fwhip’s shit-eating grin distorted through the ruddy liquid. Jimmy glared right back, but eventually he gave in. If only to stop a scene. “Just one glass.”

“Hell yeah!” Fwhip cheered, stealing the pitcher away to fill all their glasses before holding his own up in cheer. “Grown ups table only today, men- and lady,” He winked at Lizzie, who stuck her tongue out. “Here’s to that amazing performance, and all the amazing performances to come!” Their glasses clinked, separating for Joel and Fwhip to almost instantly chug half their glasses. Lizzie took a much more modest sip. Jimmy swirled the glass for a moment, bringing it to his lips when Fwhip and Joel put their glasses down. He’s not sure he got more than a taste of the foam, but he pulled the same sour face the rest of his band did.

“I didn’t mean literal pisswater, jeez.” Joel coughed, but took another swig anyways. It certainly smelled bad enough to be true. There was probably nothing fruity on the menu to mask the alcohol in a bar like this.

Skizz held up his glass, shouting over almost the whole bar, “That’s the taste of freedom, my friend!”

“From what? Regulation?” Tango snickered.

“From modernity! Civility! Authority!”

Gem rolled her eyes. “Sooo, yes.”

“Hey! This is a sacred place of debauchery and hedonism! Feast upon the grapes of whatever and dance till the sun rises upon us! Let us make our great father Dionysus proud!”

Both tables clapped, GIST shaking their head in amusement. Wings soon arrived, though, and they all dug in. Jimmy nursed his drink at a snail’s pace, hoping Fwhip would simply think he was hungrier than he was thirsty. It got a bit more difficult when Lizzie dragged Joel to the dance floor when a song she like came on, dinner be damned.

There was a few minutes when a man, another band’s manager apparently, passed by, and Fwhip spun around to chatter with the man. Someone tapped on his shoulder at that moment. Jimmy spun around to see Tango holding out his mug, near empty except the foam slowly sliding to pool at the bottom. It took him a moment before he realized what was happening, and grabbed his own mug. The transfer was far from smooth, slopping onto the floor a bit. When Jimmy’s mug was mostly empty Tango pulled it back with a mischievous grin and a wink before bringing the mug up to his own lips. Jimmy returned it with the same smile and turned back to his table. Behind him, he heard Tango wretch. He tried not to laugh.

-

It was a little over an hour into the night. Most tables were cleared of real food, replaced with glasses of various substances, and the air had become thick despite the no smoking signs. Tango was having a lovely time shouting with his friends when one song ended and a mic came on. Gem shrieked with glee, “Oh my god, guys! Come one, come on!” She dragged Impulse out of his chair, abandoning their table for the dance floor while one of the bar tenders tried to get the place pumped up for a line dance.

They nearly crashed into Scott and Pearl, who were already rosy-cheeked and giggling nonstop alongside Cleo. The three were linked hand-in-hand, pushing to the front of the group at Pearl’s insistence. It’d been a while since Tango had seen her let go and have fun. Not that she wasn’t always a joy, but... Well. Tango was still convinced waking up at five am to work for a band that had never once taken the gig seriously was crazy people actions.

He knew in the grand scheme of things it was for her career. GIST was her first foray into management and they weren’t going to be around much longer. Pearl was destined to move on to bigger and brighter bands, and he had all the confidence in the world she would with how brilliant and hard working she was. He just wished she took the chance to let loose while she still could. And the fact Scott and this Cleo person were able to get her to was enough to put them in Tango’s good books.

Joel and Lizzie were at the far end where they were previously dancing alone, and Fwhip dragged Jimmy into line right behind GIST despite his protests of leaving his guitar alone. The bar tender was up on a small stage, and began demonstrating the moves. Half of them hadn’t realized they were starting already, causing gem and Skizz to smack into the other two. Eventually after many bumps and giggles the whole crowd was on the same page doing the cupid shuffle. Skizz was the first to wrap his arms around Tango and Gem’s shoulders, until all four were linked, at least until they were asked to turn. It switched up to the cha cha slide, at which point Tango lost all coordination, much to his band’s amusement and their neighbour’s bemusement.

By the end they were all cheering and out of breath, Impulse being the first to retreat back to their table, Fwhip not far behind. Skizz swept Gem back over to the dance floor where Lizzie was happily dragging around Joel. Cleo, Pearl, and Scott tried to navigate into the crowd but nearly fell into a cackling heap with how drunk they’d gotten, and chose to bow out for the time being. Tango was in the middle of contemplating whether to do the same when a bright eyed face invaded his vision.

“You’re not throwing in the towel already are you?” He said with amusement.

It was almost wrong, to see Jimmy sans guitar on his back. His face was flush, not drunk on alcohol but some sort of adrenaline. His hair had fallen out of how he’d had it styled, sticking slightly to his forehead and up where a hand had been run through it. The sweetest smile stretched across his face, a hint of mischief in his dark eyes. There was a stain on his cream button up, presumably from the hot wings, which Tango desperately wanted to point out just to say something instead of staring like a brainless goldfish. Before he could have the chance to say anything he was being pulled over to the centre of the dance floor.

“You know how to dance without instructions, I hope.” Jimmy laughed as they came to a halt.

Tango crashed right into him. Taking a moment for his brain to restart he put on the cockiest grin he could muster and confidently informed the men, “Pssh, I’ll have you know I’m an expert.”

“Oh yeah?” They’d began to sway with the crowd, nothing specific.

“In fact I’ve take a whole half a dance class before.” He did an awkward exaggerated jig for emphasis, which got a laugh.

“Oh, please tell me it was-”

“The tango? How’d you know?”

Jimmy cackle-cheered so hard he had to stop dancing for a moment to recover. When he calmed he reached out for Tango’s hands and they turned with the rest of the crowd, finally adding a few little cowboy steps to their swaying.

In truth, the sum total of Tango’s former dance experience mostly involved swaying cross-legged in the mud high out of his mind, headbanging in in a pit, and the macarena at a wedding. That hardly mattered now, especially when Jimmy just as uncoordinated. Whatever dance they were doing involved at lease one person’s foot on the others with each step and a lot of giggling. Tango was beginning to wonder if Jimmy had slipped away to grab his own drink at some point or inhaled a bit too much of the smoke, but his eyes were too focused for that. No, he really was just absolutely delighted to be moving around in the crowd, singing suspiciously well alongside Shania Twain. It was absolutely...

Well, Tango tried not to think too hard about what it was. Especially not when his gaze momentarily slipped away to avoid going blind and instead landed on Lizzie, who was giving him a knowing look. He couldn’t tell what emotion it was on her face, only able to presume she was still mad at him. A suggestion was on the tip of his tongue as the last stomping beat of Any Man of Mine played. Out of guilt or nerves. But he felt Jimmy back away with another airy sort of sound and he was dragged back in. He beamed, “Wanna go sit and grab a drink?”

They wound up at the bar rather than with their friends, where Jimmy could order a coke in peace while Tango could grab a nice whisky instead of more Molson. Jimmy was still giddy, his heel bouncing on the stool as he smiled down into his drink. He glanced over, though, to Tango’s glass. “Can I try?”

Tango slid it over, “S’bout as good as reasonably priced whisky gets.”

Jimmy rolled it a bit, took a sniff, then a sip. His nose wrinkled a bit before he passed it back. “Yeah think I’ll stick with mine.”

“Not for everyone.” Tango concedes.

“I just don’t like the taste much, or the feeling.” He brushes his chest, chewing on his lip and side eyeing Tango. “Just not...”

Ah. He shrugged, trying to act as casual as possible. “You don’t have to explain yourself, partner.”

“No, I guess I don’t. Not to you.” Jimmy smiled, then took a sip of his coke.

“So, you like to dance?” Tango said, approximately as smooth as a cactus made of sandpaper covered in barnacles.

Jimmy by some miracle didn’t notice, and lit up once more as he went on a tale of childhood fairs and forced square dancing lessons and learning that dancing could actually be fun after years of spiteful refusal to ever perform again. It devolved into another story, and another. The bar tender was happy to slip yet another glass in front of Tango after each one.

Their chatter was only interrupted by Joel, who practically screeched across the bar from the stage, calling for his ‘babe’ which was apparently not Lizzie. Jimmy laughed and screeched back, back to full energy, and darted away back to his table to grab his guitar. They quickly took over the bar’s attention as they both began wailing away with the song, Jimmy strumming scratchy notes on his guitar. Some shouted, some cheered. Tango watched with great amusement, entirely missing when the seat next to him became reoccupied.

“Having fun?”

Tango’s head spun around. Lizzie was staring into Jimmy’s empty glass. He cleared his throat and swivelled back around. “Think so. You?”

“Of course.”

An awkward silence befell them, a not very silent one given the screaming and music and thudding and clinking. It all sounded like a distant whisper right now.

Lizzie huffed, and looked up, “Look, Tango. I’m not sorry about earlier.”

“Oookay.” He quirked an eyebrow. He hadn’t thought she was, but it seemed rude to come and say to his face.

“I’m not.” She insisted looking frustrated. “But I guess I can’t exactly tell you to not speak to my brother when he’s the one speaking to you. So, I’ve decided to call truce.”

“Thanks? I think.”

The silence was back. Lizzie chose to ignore it this time, flagging down the bar tender to get her own drink. Tango continued to sip his own.

He cleared his throat. “I liked your set.” Wow, way to go. Might as well call myself a climate-denyer with all this ice I’m not breaking.

That of all things got her undivided and startled attention. “Really?”

“I mean, yeah. You guys got some serious talent. I don’t think I saw anyone with as much range.”

“Well, I’m glad.” She said, stuck between wanting to be mad and soaking in the praise. “I’ve been working for this almost my whole life, you know. Since I was eight.”

Tango whistled, genuinely impressed. “Ain’t that the sorta dedication and ambition we all wished we had. Definitely shows. You’ll have to show me how you did that one bit in... What was it called? The one that was all-” He squinted in frustration, drawing shapes in the air to hopelessly illustrate his point.

Lizzie blinked, then clapped happily, “Oh! Destiny?” She beamed, and that was the first time Tango had been sure she and Jimmy were siblings. “Yes, well, it only really works with my keyboard specifically...” She descended into a rant, explaining what she had done with modes and foot pedals, completely forgetting to actually tell Tango what model she used in the first place. He could ask later. For now he nodded along, making mental notes. Now and then he asked questions, the conversation on the brink but never quite fully petering out to chase away the awkward silence. Tango wasn’t even sure it would still be there if it ended, but he much preferred happy Lizzie elaborating on how she played the keyboard over grumpy Lizzie ready to punch him in the throat.

Jimmy’s voice carried over the crowd, who roared to life as he started singing along with Dolly Parton. Tango took the briefest moment to watch, smiling to himself.

“Suppose...” Lizzie began, the words dying momentarily before she took in a new breath. “Suppose I was wrong.”

“About?” Tango tilted his head in confusion.

“Someone Jimmy met.” Her gaze was permanently fixed on her drink, obscuring whatever complicated emotions were passing over her face. “Suppose I was distracted with my own relationships and dreams. Suppose I was bias cause I knew them, and too young and stupid to notice it just wasn’t right for him until I had to forever hold my peace.” Fingers tightened around her glass. Tango worried it might shatter. “Suppose afterwards I had to help him unpack everything I helped him pack up before. Comforted him when he cried then go comfort the person who made him cry when they cried too, and couldn’t tell which was wrong, if either was. Suppose even after it was over it still wasn’t, and I couldn’t stop thinking it was for my sake it wasn’t.”

Her eyes were glossy when she timidly looked back up, threatening her perfectly done eyeliner. “Is there something wrong with trying to protect him from something like that happening again?”

And Tango couldn’t say no. He knew what it was like to be on both sides half a dozen times over. Maybe not the exact scenario she was alluding to, but ones similar enough. Hesitantly he reached out, and when she only shrugged he place his hands gently on her shoulder, giving her a comforting rub. “I think the only person who can answer that for you, is Jimmy.”

“And what am I supposed to do if he doesn’t want help?”

“I dunno, be there for him in other ways? You’re both adults, you’ll figure it out.” He snorted, his own bittersweet memories playing out in the back of his mind. Mostly of himself. “Some people just need to make their own mistakes to learn, even if you can tell them exactly what will happen if they do. It’s a lot better than feeling like you aren’t allowed to make mistakes at all, I can tell you that.”

“He’d make so many.” Her laugh was humourless. “And don’t think I don’t know what you stand to gain from this.”

Did he? Tango glanced over his shoulder to where Jimmy was, laughing and leaning over Joel as they belted along with the song. The guitarist paused, their eyes meeting, and an enormous grin stretched across his face as he waved to Tango. Tango waved back and turned away. He supposed he did. Was he just being biased? He hoped not. It was hard to think clearly through the buzz. “Well, you could always just beat the crap outta me. He can’t do much about that, can he?”

 That got a real laugh, so he turned back to her. Her eyes were still wet, but there was determination there now. “Don’t think I won’t!”

“I ain’t gonna defend myself!” He threw up his hands in concession. “Seriously, though. Jimmy never has nothin’ but good things to say about you. I think he really admires you, y’know? Just my two cents. You should just talk to him yourself, can’t imagine he’ll be rude about it.”

“He wouldn’t.” She agreed, shaking her head. “It’s just hard to have some conversations with younger siblings. Hard to see them as grown up when it feels like they were shoving crayons up their nose just yesterday.”

That was where Tango’s expertise ended, as an only child, so he shrugged. “When I was a kid we just ate them.”

“Oh, that was Joel’s thing. I was the smart one, you see. The only one who knew to draw with them.” She turned up her nose, dramatically sweeping her bubblegum pink locks back.

“... Sooo, on the walls?”

“It was a big canvas!”

Their conversation was cut short by a crash and commotion in the crowd. It didn’t take much else than spotting the mop of teal poking a few inches above the rest of the crowd to send both racing over.

There was a shit-faced cowboy, oddly familiar but Tango wasn’t sure from where, in a soaked flannel, flanked by two similarly dressed friends. In front of him stood Scott stuck somewhere between ‘ready to fall over and puke’ and somehow still high and mighty sass. There was an upside down cup in his hand, barely held there by three fingers. Tango didn’t need to see the pool of ice on the floor to put the pieces together. Especially not with Pearl huddled behind him in Cleo’s arms as she too glared daggers into the strangers.

The rest of their group quickly showed up, Jimmy and Joel shoving their way through the opposite side of the forming circle while the rest appeared beside Tango and Lizzie. Gem’s eyes narrowed as she snarled, “It’s that creep!” It took all of them to hold her back from marching into the conflict.

A fist wrapped around the front of Scott’s shirt and dragged him down to eye level with the cowboy, “The fuck’s your problem?” He snapped. Behind him his buddies jeered.

It took Scott’s alcohol addled mind a visible moment to register what just happened. His nose wrinkled, turning his face away. “Not my fault you can’t take a hint. Or a shower.”

There was a chorus of laughs, mostly from his own bandmates and Gem. All except Lizzie, who was giving Jimmy and Joel a nervous frown. The two weren’t paying attention, looking far too amused by Scott’s antics. Joel whispered something into Jimmy’s ear and Tango could only guess it was another one of their bets.

The cowboy spluttered, entire face red at this point, and shoved Scott back. His glass crashed to the ground. “Ain’t none of your business sniffing me, fairy boy!”

Scott’s eyebrows went up. Behind him, Pearl tried to whisper something to him, but it went ignored. Then he laughed, throwing his hip dramatically and leaning in. “Flattery won’t get you on this dick, princess.”

Then his fist connected with the stranger’s jaw.

“Jesus Christ, Scott!” Pearl shrieked, her and Cleo dragging him back as the cowboy went down.

Completely chaos broke loose. Gem ran free with a battle cry and launched herself onto the back of one of the cowboys just before he swung for Scott, her brother not far behind. Others broke through the crowd, friends or just rowdy patrons. It took Scott only a moment to get back into the fight, Jimmy and Joel cheering the three on. Joe jumped up on the bar with the mic, attempting to implore the crowd to calm down, but someone snatched his ankle and he quickly went down. Skizz shouted, though it was so incoherent Tango wasn’t sure if it was for peace or war. A plate smashed against a post. Both Tango and Lizzie shrieked as they ducked behind Impulse.

“Oh- those-” Lizzie blabbered while the three backed out of the main conflict. Her eyes suddenly went wide. “Jimmy, Joel! No!”

Tango turned just in time to watch the blond slam his guitar case into a guy who’d latched onto Gem’s pigtails. It was swiftly retaliated with a kick to his gut. He dominoed into a small crowd, from which Joel slipped passed and decked the offending cowboy in Jimmy’s stead.

People began pouring out of the bar, some fleeing and others fighting. “You two grab your boys before they get their teeth knocked in.” Impulse directed. “I’ll find Pearl and we’ll grab the rest when it’s safe.”

They didn’t need to be told twice. Tango cleared a path behind the main brawl, Lizzie close on his tail. By the time they reached Jimmy and Joel they sported matching dark bruises on their cheeks, and there was blood dripping from Jimmy’s nose. That’d been enough to get them to bow out, but not to back off as they egged on their bandmates. Lizzie wasn’t having any off it, grabbing the strap of Jimmy’s guitar and the scruff of Joel’s shirt. Tango squeaked as Jimmy was practically tossed into his arms. “Let’s go!” She shouted.

All four stumbled out into the cool night air. They didn’t stop moving, not until they were halfway down the street and wheezing. “Oh my gosh!” Jimmy gasped for his life while Joel doubled over beside him. There was still adrenaline pumping wildly through Tango’s whole body, giving him the shakes.

Lizzie took just a moment to lean against a stop sign before her face twisted with rage and marched over to the two, shoving her finger into each’s chest. “What’d the matter with you two?” She screeched. “You could have gotten killed or arrested or- or- Gyahh!”

“Never been to jail.” Jimmy mused, which was the wrong answer. Despite Lizzie berating, the two devolved into giggles and bolted on ahead towards the campsite.

Lizzie was absolutely furious, read to chase after them if not for Tango’s hand on her shoulder. “Let ‘em run it off, Jimmy’ll make sure they don’t get far.” He assured. Jimmy may be high on the excitement of it all, but he was still sober. Just as he thought so the man in question nearly face-planted into the gravel road, saved only by his guitar case hitting it first. Joel paused to laugh at him before dragging him back to his feet and running once more.

���you see what I deal with?” She said, shrill and throwing her hands out towards her husband and brother, before they flopped to her sides. Tango couldn’t hold back a small giggle. “Well at least they weren’t stupid enough to throw the first punch.”

 They jumped at the sudden tone of Tango’s blackberry going off. It took the man a moment fiddling in his jeans’ pockets to find the thing, then nearly dropped it. A small reminder of his own numerous drinks that night. “Hello?” He answered. Lizzie leaned in.

“Tango! Are you guys okay?” Pearl’s frantic voice shouted over the sounds of a crowd. “We can’t see you, Impulse said-”

“We’re fine, Pearlie-pop, don’t worry.” Tango hastily assured, double checking that the other two hadn’t passed out on the road ahead or something. “Got out of there, heading back to the campsite right now.”

“Oh, thank god. Listen, everyone here’s mostly okay, but I think Scott, Joe, and Fwhip need a couple stitches. So Impulse is gonna bring Gem and Skizz back and steal the van from you to take us to the hospital.”

He nodded, smiling at Lizzie who visibly deflated with relief. “Roger dodger, boss-lady. We’ll get everyone tucked into bed, don’t you worry.”

The walk back was quiet, only a few bats and an owl filling the crisp night air. Tango had to pull out the flashlight on his keychain as they turned down the dirt path that took them directly to their end of the campsite. Despite their earlier stress they couldn’t help giggle as they found Joel passed out against the running kitchen sink, a sticky note stuck to his sleeping face telling them Jimmy went to see if the store was still open. Tango wished he stayed long enough for someone else to check out his nose, but he was ready to crash.

“Do you mind-?” Lizzie began, practically collapsing onto her bed after she dragged Joel over.

Tango smiled, “You go to sleep, I’ll wait for everyone.”

She nodded, that being all she needed to roll over and get comfy. There was a brief moment, in which Tango nearly left before she called out, “Tango?”

“Hm?” He leaned back inside.

There was a strained smile on her face, “I am sorry about earlier.”

He let out an airy noise, and waved her off. “Don’t be, I was an ass. Wish I had a big sister like you. He’s lucky.”

“I don’t think anyone would accuse Jimmy of being lucky. But thank you. It means a lot.”

“You just worry about getting some sleep for Hangover Road Trip Electric Boogaloo tomorrow.”

There was a groan of realization, which finally got her to nod and roll over.

Tango closed the door as quietly as possible, and sat down on the steps to wait. He hadn’t realized how out of it he was, not until there was some sort of strange sound that knocked him back into the world of the waking. When had he even nodded off in the first place? There was the sound once more, though. Tango stood up, eyebrow and flashlight raised. “Hello?”

There was a rustle from the other side of the trailer, and a screech. Jimmy’s head popped out from between the bushes they were pushed up against. He had leaves stuck in his hair, and the buse on his cheek had become yellow and purple. Another was forming on his chin along with a half dozen on his arms. But the blood from his nose was wiped away or dried and it didn’t seem to be broken. “Um, hi.”

“Jim? What are you doing?”

“Uh, nothing!” He squeaked, and stumbled out. The top of his case smacked against the back of his head, getting a wince from Tango. “Just got- got lost in the dark. The store was closed.”

“Closes at dinner time.” Tango pointed out.

Jimmy’s face went red, looking away. “Yeah... Sorry.” He eyed the trailer warily. “Is she mad?”

“Don’t think so.” Both moved to the picnic table. For once Tango thought he must look more tired than Jimmy. Something had torn open one of their chip bags while they were gone, the crumbs strewn about. Jimmy paused to wipe out towards the bushes, then plopped down with his arms slung over his guitar case.

“Do you wanna set up the tent?”

“Mmm, too much work now.” Tango would much prefer the air mattress to the table, but he was drunk and it was almost midnight.

There was a moment where Jimmy leaned back, puttering a three note beat against his case. “She yell at you? She said she was gonna go yell at you.”

A noise escaped Tango, too much of a reaction to deny it.

“Sorry for whatever she said. She likes playing big sister, all brave and smart. Forgets she fell from the same tree.”

“Nah, I ran my stupid mouth, I probably deserved it.” Tango shook his head, also leaning back.

There was a shift, and Tango felt the guitar bump his hand. “You know I was hanging out with Skizz today.”

“Yeah?”

“Made me think.” He hummed, not continuing until Tango nudged him back. “I know why we’re here. To make Lizzie and Scott famous. But... I don’t know why you guys are here.”

Tango blinked. He turned to look at the other man, who’s face darkened as he realized what he said. “Not like- I mean- Not that you don’t deserve it or anything-”

“No, I get what you mean.” He snorted, a bit lost in memories. Old ones from when they first met in college, new ones of Zed leaving and the girls joining. Promises they made to Pearl as they worked up professional contracts for the first time in their so-called career and sombre conversations between just him, Impulse and Skizz.

“You can’t say this to Gem.” Is all he asked, tone a bit desperate. Jimmy made a small noise, an agreement. Tango sighed. “Truth is, this is probably our last gig.”

Jimmy didn’t seem surprised.

“Dunno what we’re gonna do after this. Maybe we’ll make one last album, maybe we’ll leave how it is. Depends on how we feel I guess. Been living our whole lives doing this first and everything second. And not that I ain’t thankful for every minute of it, but, y’know. We ain’t rockstars. Got bills to pay and jobs to start taking seriously. Impy and Skizz do, at least. And if I can’t play with them I ain’t sure I wanna.”

He shifted his position, pulling his legs up to chest to rest his chin on them. “Honestly, we were thinking about it a few years back, after Zed left for his career. Then we met Gem, though, and- well, you met her. Shines like the sun. Something about her. She’s gonna be a star, we all knew it.” A smile sneaked onto his face, remembering the first time they heard her sing. “Never had big dreams like you guys, but we loved what we did and she loved playing with us. It was different, but it was like the good old days where it mattered. But life’s been catching up. I guess we just wanted to do one last big show together, something to remember. Y’know?”

It seemed like Jimmy did. At least, that’s what Tango hoped his sleepy smile meant.

Tango relaxed himself running a hand down his face to try and keep himself awake until their bandmates got back. “Told Pearl already, back when we signed her on. Don’t expect this too last too long. But we’re still trying to find a way to break it to Gem. Think she suspects it, but it’s still hard.”

“What about you?” Jimmy asked. Had he always been sitting that close, or had one of them scooched over in the breeze?

“Hm?”

“You said, Impulse and Skizz have plans. But what about you?”

There he was, a fish drowning in the sea. The question he’d not even realized he’d been avoiding. Imp and Skizz had full time jobs and family and homes, Gem and Pearl had their whole careers ahead of them, and he had- what? “That’s the question, ain’t it.” He murmured, suddenly feeling quite lost as he stared up at the night sky through the trees.

It wasn’t as though he’d taken their band any more serious than the rest of them, but somewhere along the way they’d all managed to build their own lives between the margins. Probably while he was passed out after playing roller coast tycoon all night or doing one of his other dozen going-nowhere hobbies.

A hesitant hand slipped onto his shoulder, massaging comfortingly. It brought Tango back down from wherever he was floating off to a lot easier than he’d ever like to admit. Jimmy didn’t bother to say anything. Not that he didn’t seem to want to. Nothing ever quite made it out until his mouth snapped back shut into a sympathetic smile. He didn’t have to. For once Tango thought he could understand. He really hoped it wouldn’t be the only time. It felt good.

Leaves ruffled and there was a loud, familiar whining. Both men stood up in time to watch Impulse drag Gem and Skizz under each arm into camp. “Almost there, guys.” He announced, shoulders falling as he spotted Tango and Jimmy.

They put the new pair to bed first against their whining and waved Impulse off. The little sleep demon in Tango’s mind screamed to finally get into bed. He heard Jimmy’s laugh when they both collapsed, creating a bounce back that shook the whole trailer and the pullout off the ground. “You’re makin’ breakfast, by the way.” Tango grumbled, already curling up against his cuddle buddy.

“Not fair!”

“Shh.”

Just as he drifted Tango heard a strange little whistle. Please birds, let me get at least a few hours of sleep, was his last thought as he drifted off.

[mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune]

Crossover AU Theory: If Cat-Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) Met Cat-Steven (Steven Universe)

[Note: reading this Crossover Theory is Optional, but it is for Mature Audience Readers Only...also make sure you had watched all the episodes of Hazbin Hotel Season 1 first before reading this.]

yeah, I will get around to the whole part 2 of the theory about Blitzo being Adam's Half-Reincarnation after this and another weird post I want to post after this.

so for those who have watched Steven Universe (and have watched Steven Universe Future and understand a little bit or fully what Steven's been going through, but we can't make others watch that Steven Universe Future, if they want to watch all the episodes, they should only do so by their free will and own accord.)

some of you may know about the girl cat that Garnet ends up adopting (I'm still gonna fanon headcanon her from Sapphire component, is TFA-Prowl's Reincarnation...) and naming Cat-Steven.

Cat-Steven has one eye, and like what would happen if like in a Crossover AU type way, Cat-Alastor and Cat-Steven met...?

I still would love to see Cat-Alastor (full name Cursed Cat Alastor) freak everyone out when they do the demon dance, which involves the witch's cat pose and like side stepping at first before going faster and even bouncing a little.

you must appease them with fish...

*Chaz (Moxxie & Millie's Ex) is being held up in the air by Amethyst*

Pearl: AMETHYST, NO!

Amethyst: what...? they said that Cat-Alastor must be appeased with fish, so I'm gonna throw this Tuna-Himbo Dork to them.

if Emily and Amethyst fused, would they be called Emilethyst or Amelie...?

would their fusion be platonic or romantic...?

Emily must be the embodiment of joy, while Charlie is the embodiment of hope.

so if those two ended up fusing with Amethyst, even if it is a platonic fusion...

wouldn't that make the fusion the embodiment of joy & hope...?

they would probably end up being way bigger than Sera, and possibly taller than TFA-Megatron and TFA-Blitzwing.

Emily/Amethyst/Charlie Fusion could be around almost as tall as Garnet/Pearl/Amethyst's fusion, coming up to the full gem fusion's shoulders.

anyway, in a Fanon Timeline where Cat-Alastor did meet Cat-Steven, anything could happen, maybe Cat-Alastor will somehow end up owning Cat-Steven's soul, which the deal may involve Cat-Alastor placing their cute little paws on Cat-Steven's forehead, and then sticking their tongue out and crossing their eyes, then there is a glow of green and the deed is done.

my cat, well my second cat, does tend to stick their tongue out for a very long minutes or seconds.....it is both funny and cute.

if the hotel isn't careful, Cat-Alastor will rule the hotel with a fluffy iron paw...all the fluffy babies will be on their team, picture Angel crying when it turns out Fat-Nuggets is one of them.

is it weird to think Cat-Alastor might end up liking Fluttershy, and knows to fear her when she gives the stare...?

would Cat-Alastor imprint someone as their "Mom", did they imprint on Alastor or Charlie, or maybe even Angel.

there is a funny thing I learned about cats, which sometimes my cat does to me, even though they aren't really a small kitten anymore.

it has to do with the reason why cats kneed on their owner's chest.

well it's either called kneed or something else, might have to look it up sometime.

if Keekee does that sometimes, like if she use to do that to Lucifer, but stop since she went with Charlie to try to redeem sinners.

she could of ended up doing it again after Lucifer ends up moving into the hotel.

I'm pretty sure after the fight with Adam and Lute, he had ended up moving into the newly build hotel.

Lucifer could wake up and find Keekee massaging his chest, which is what he views it and she keeps doing it.

either when he's sleeping and wakes up to it, or when he's sitting down talking with someone, and that someone ending up being Charlie half the time.

and half the time when this is going on, Husk could be holding in his laugh when watching the scene, because in his life when he still lived on Earth, he may have learned the meaning why cats do that.

and Lucifer not knowing makes it both funny and cute.

cause it basically means he would be viewed as "Mom" by Keekee.

not sure if Cat-Alastor would ended up becoming smitten like a kitten with Keekee, well if they did, it would probably end up being platonic.

also the whole romantic doesn't always have to be the same, some can be just when you hang out together, maybe watching a movie or show together or playing a video game together.

it doesn't always have to be all kissy or cuddles all the time, or the other thing that is "snu-snu"...

I think I'm starting to view myself as more of a Gray-Aroace, which is why sometime I want to make a flag for myself that expresses well the different romantic parts, and aromantic parts of myself.

like I think I am still technically a flux, and even though I'm glad I can't pick up a certain toxic-lust energy of a certain someone anymore when I'm awake, but of course it is thanks to my gem bracelets, but it doesn't mean I wont still be weak to that toxic-lust energy, which is why the dream-catchers are needed...because of those three close call dreams, and the only reason I had that second close call was because I didn't have a dream-catcher up, so I decided to have that dream-catcher I had took down (not talking about the one in a zip-lock bag with salt in the bag with it.) and decided to have it outside my door.

even prayed for a type of protective barrier...and of course the dream-catcher we got next, it seem good but then something weird was about it, and I could of just been fine if I was just having my normal weird dreaming, but then the third close call happen...

so I had to take that one down, put it in a zip-lock bag, even get some of the food salt and hold it in my hands and prayed then I put the salt in the bag as well......I keep that one as far away from me as possible.

I got a new dream-catcher now, for both in my room and for the door outside my room.

I think I would feel safer around Ozzie and Fizz, cause that bad toxic-lust energy, I did not consent to it...and I think the only reason why the barrier open up, was because of that bad dream-catcher.

dream-catchers are suppose to protect you when you sleep, and one of the reasons I wanted to sleep one, even if I may have once did sleep while having a dream-catcher when I was little but stop at some point...

but the reason why I had wanted to get a new dream-catcher, that first started with the one that is now protecting my room that is outside my door.

it has to do with my possibly dream-walking, that the toxic-lust energy from someone placed my dream-self in a trance and the only reason I snap out of it in time, was possibly because of the gem bracelets I was wearing to bed, to protect me while I sleep, even if I now use them for multi-purposes.

and some of you may already know the reason I started to wear gem bracelets to sleep in the first place, and it having to do with being scared awake by a Incubus, it was like being between awake and sleep, or like being aware....and well even if it was for a split minute or second, it was enough to scare me awake.

even if I didn't see them, but I'm pretty sure it was a Incubus...

is it normal for some Earth Angels who are also Humans, to be catnip to Incubus...?

well I'm going to make sure to keep sleeping with my gems to protect me, not just from those like Incubus but also from humans as well.

and some percent of humans are too "in heat" even more reason for me to keep wearing my gems and only take them off only once in a while or when it's necessary...

at least Alastor never has to deal with that, so he's lucky.

anyway if Cat-Steven and Cat-Alastor ended up forming a bond,

it could be interesting if Alastor ended up finding Steven who is dying but he is also having his age fluctuating until it stops when he was a baby, and one of his tears saves him, but he ends up aging much slower than he did when he was still on Earth.

so Alastor ends up adopting Steven, who has a gem on the place where his belly button should be, Steven may have not really died, but he could of been very close to it, that is why his gem ended up causing him to age back into a baby, and even saved him by having him cry and become pink.

Steven as a Baby, might still have his powers, all but fusion, the fusion may only happen much later when he becomes much older.

but picture Baby Steven placing Vox in a very big pink bubble. XD

not sure if I can think of anything else about how Cat-Alastor and Cat-Steven would act to each other if they did meet.

I think Cat-Alastor would pick Baby Steven up by the back of the neck of their clothes and run off, while everyone gives chase.

and all this is happening, Baby Steven is laughing like it's all a game.

also it could be possible that Cat-Alastor and Cat-Steven wouldn't get along at first, until they bond over a shared interest....

ruling over the ones who walk on two legs...XD

I'm weird for thinking about that, but come on...you know how half the time cats sees us as someone who serves them, and at times they can be too cute to say no to. :)

[stitchthesewords]

Okay this is not a fully formed idea but I'm gonna put it here anyway -

So you know how empires s2 canonically is like, 1000 after s1. And you know how the hermits are currently on empires because of the rift. And you know how the rift is shown to move through space and time and not really have any rhyme or reason. And you know how all the hermits ARENT currently on empires [mostly because the ones who arent currently there also have other projects their doing {Vault Hunters, Ablockalypse, Create, Etho's singleplayer/inability to upload more than once a month, mumbo's vacation}]. AND you know how i just said I want to write polyhermits.

So what if, right. I'm imagining that the story starts out more minecrafty than fantasy, when it starts on the hermitcraft server [I don't think if I were to seriously write this, I would start it anywhere but when they all go back through the rift, but hear me out]. Think of like, those stories where its like uh, them on the server, and they're still clearly characters who live in this world, but also their lives are clearly playing the game minecraft. THEN when they go to empires, its becomes a little less minecrafty and a little more fantasy. There are villages with villagers in empires, whereas back home on hermitcraft they all just keep villagers in trading halls. There's some politics, a different economy, they're doing more fantasy stuff. And then they go to leave.

Remember how i pointed out empires season 2 is 1000 years after s1

So when the hermits on empires go back through the portal, they come out and its even more fantasy. Grian's basement is overgrown, overtaken. Grumbot isn't working anymore. He's rusted through, his screen is cracked. The content generator vats seemingly broke a long time ago. The whole thing looks like it's been worn down for centuries, cobwebs everywhere, moss everywhere, completely overtaken by the ground. And grian's base is fair no better. Bits of the buildings have collapsed, the one rock is completely overtaken by sculk, everything else is overgrown and the biggest rock is crumbling. Mumbo's vault looks like he built a little bit more onto it but it, too is overgrown.

Everyone's base is either like that or gone completely. Atlantis collapsed back into the sea. The waves have had time to smooth it over. Pearl's alien landscape has spread and it's competing with the natural order of things to grow over Gem and Impulse's bases. Everything is weathered and overgrown and looks like centuries have passed.

The villagers, at some point, escaped. The shopping district is no more, the Crastle is gone - and in their place is a city. It's no one's build style, it looks too...it's both simple but complicated. It's not a hermit's hand, that's for sure. And the place is packed full of citizens, of villagers.

The other thing is that the other hermits, the ones who didn't go through the rift - they're missing. No one can find them and they search everywhere. The Entity is missing too - or, well, not missing. It's planted itself right in the center of the new city, which is certainly not where Grian left it, and its changed. It has new bits hanging off it. It seems like the villagers are worshipping it.

The rift shut behind them again when they came through. It sealed them in this new world of hermitcraft, full of cities and town built in the ruins of their server and it plays by completely new rules - it's more fantasy, even moreso than Empires was, and the idea is that ther Hermits have to A. Get control of their server back if this even is a server anymore, B. Find the rest of their polycule, and C. adjust to life.

I'm picturing a like fantasy/post apocalypse style world and the hermits come back through and they are like. FAR more fantastical than they were when they left - Cleo's whole gorgon thing seems to be working concerningly well; she turned two people into statues on accident and they have to get her sunglasses. Scar's elf ears are back but this time they aren't like a party city costume. Ren and Doc are definitely even more hybrided than they were when they left, Cub has uh. Whatever cub has going on. Pearl and Gem and Impulse are are definitely leaning WAY MORE into their stories than they were [An miss LARPer finds she isn't quite LARPing anymore, these antlers don't come off]. And where did the other hermits go? Are they dead? Can the hermits even find them? Who knows.

[the-mogai-catus]

Pt.1

In order!

rainbow quartz 2.0 (Pearl + Steven)

is Transfem, Nonbinary, Intersex, Multi-alterous, Multi-romantic

Multi-sexual, Multi-amical, Ascend Attracted used they/them, she/her pronouns and has OCD, Paranoia, and Autism, Highly verbal (flag by pupyzu) and is a twink Fem polyamorous, Intersex

Smokey quartz ( amethyst + steven) ( Right) is Nonbinary, Aroace, Multi-Alterous, Multi- thoughtic, Ascend Attracted, Has ADHD, fluxuating verbally (pupyzu) and is Butch! polyamorous, Intersex

watermelon steven/ Pediven (3rd picture) (steven + peridot fusion)

is Autistic, Demi boy, Demi girl, Demi gender, polyamorous, Pan and ommi and queer, Intersex

pink Steven is twinity, half-twinity, autisic, has anger issues, ASPD, is Aroace, and Agender, Polyamorous ( Phoenixian of Steven)

Steven is a Demiboy, twinity, half twinity, autisic, Panromantic, panalterous, pan-platonic, pansexual, and uses he/him and neopronouns! (Include neopronoun flag)

hu/human/humans/humanself

gem/gems/gemself

💎/💎's/💎self

stevonie is queer, Intersex, Nonbinary, ans polyamorous, and autisic

( Steven + connie )

pink stevonie Is queer, Intersex, ASPD, Autistic, OCD, parnoia, Corrupt coric (I Think that's A Astestic for Broken things?/DARK stuff? if I'm wrong please correct me! ( pink Steven + connie!)

Stars is Autistic, Queer, aroace questioning, Nonbinary, Demiboy, Autoromantic, Intersex

( pink Steven + lars)

Stion ( steven + lion) is Nonbinary, Lion gender, Xenogender, aroace, queer, Autistic, polyamorous, Intersex, Ascend Attracted, Autoromantic

[daylighteclipsed]

“If I could’ve just stopped right there, we’d be/totally fine, totally us, totally me”

me: Steven’s obviously talking about how he’s missing his powers

also me: but in the context of this line it seems much more like Steven’s incomplete without Garnet, Amethyst, and Pearl. The gems are missing their memories, but Steven’s missing the gems. The rejuvenator sent him back to square 1, which was before he developed his powers but also before he became best friends with the gems. There is no “me” without “us” in this line, no he without them, not completely. The gems are some of Steven’s biggest missing pieces, and he’s struggling to make do without them in addition to the loss of his powers. These 4 friends grew together as characters. Of course some of the missing parts of who they’ve become would overlap and intertwine like a puzzle to make the picture Steven’s holding. I love platonic love stories so much.

[weedle-testaburger]

amethyst for the character asks?

favorite thing about them: I can’t decide whether it’d be how she has a laid-back personality while still obviously suffering from deep-seated insecurities, or the fact she’s a plus-sized character who eats a lot while never being the subject of any gross jokes about her weight.

least favorite thing about them: I think out of the main three Crystal Gems, I find her development the least interesting. It’s still good, but seeing how Garnet comes to be able to get support from others despite being a leader herself (not to mention Ruby and Sapphire’s relationship), and Pearl’s history with Rose and gradual assertion of her own independence, stuck with me more than Amethyst learning to temper her rebellious nature and work through her insecurities with Steven did.

favorite line: “Whoa, you truthed him so hard he died.”

brOTP: her and Steven

OTP: I kinda don’t hardcore ship Amethyst with anyone actually, but one of my friends suggested polygems as a concept (her X Garnet X Pearl) and that sounds super cute

nOTP: her and Jasper ig? I kinda don’t ship Jasper with anyone lol

random headcanon: she absolutely has a dirtier sense of humour than we see on the show (which gives me another one on the spot: @chronowix​ and I have this hc that Connie likes Vinesauce, and she would totally watch it with Amethyst)

unpopular opinion: I don’t mind that they didn’t end up making her dynamic with Peridot lead to romance and made Peridot closer to Lapis and later Bismuth- it worked for that arc to have Amethyst be less aloof with Peridot than Garnet or Pearl, and I like the idea of Peridot being written as aroace. Hell, in that context it kinda fits to have Amethyst’s interactions with her ultimately platonic because she grows to understand Peridot better.

song i associate with them: hmm, off the top of my head maybe The Look by Roxette? I feel like over-the-top 80s does kinda fit her, and since I think she’s probably the gem I find most attractive I’d say she’s got the look :P

favorite picture of them: amblepthyst here!

[shinneth]

For the character thing - Connie Maheswaran and Peridot?

(From this meme)

Ahaha, okay! Interesting, that’s the second time you’ve picked those two specifically... 😏 Guess it is the perfect contrasting kind of duo for me.

NOTP

Lapidot. No disrespect to those who love it (at least, the few of you who love it who aren’t antis), but it didn’t jive with me and felt pretty forced... then it turned out to actually be a legit forced and toxic relationship. And this never got a proper resolution, either.

Honestly, if they couldn’t be assed to properly address the matter of Lapis needing to own up to what she did in Raising the Barn, I’m at least grateful they had zero interaction in SUF (there was literally no real Lapis+Peri interaction unless Bismuth was also there).

That at least gives me the impression that they realized they weren’t compatible roommates and moved on with their lives. Still friends/allies, but much more distant than before. Easy to read that as Peridot putting her foot down for once and asserting to Lapis that things can’t just go back to the way they were before as a consequence of Lapis’ prior actions.

Not that it’s stopped Lapidot from dominating the fandom even now. Literally, the only Lapidot I��d ever read is one that emphasizes what an unhealthy relationship it is and why they need to break apart. There are a couple of fics out there that did this well, surprisingly.

BROTP

Amedot. Literally have never been inclined to ship these two, and I honestly don’t want to. I know it’s a steady #2 as far as Peri ships go, but it just doesn’t interest me at all.

I’ll at least commend it for not being a toxic mess like Lapidot, but Amethyst has had her moments where she was a major asshole to Peri for no good reason (Too Short to Ride).

Generally, I get the impression that the dynamic wouldn’t change much, if at all in a romantic setting. I think it’s also a rare case where “they’re too similar to work out as a couple” is a reason I have for staunchly keeping the Amedot platonic.

(It’s hard being a Peri fan who doesn’t like these two ships, I swear...)

OTP

Stevidot. We all know this. 💚

Second Choice

Spinidot/Perinel... er, Spinel. They sadly never got to interact, but I can easily picture how fun it would be. I’m highly disappointed there’s not much art for the ship, honestly.

Fluff Ship

Ah... Garnet or Bismuth, but mostly Garnet. Yet another ship that has far too little representation. Peri’s admiration for her is just too sweet.

Angst Ship

Oh, that’s easy. Pearl. Both low-caste gems who are high-strung and built to have a rivalry... that’s just a given!

Fave Polyship

Stevinelidot!! Er, Spinel/Steven/Peridot. @thedemonavatar, we need to talk more about writing that OT3 fic one day! ❤️

Weirdest Ship

Ruby and/or Sapphire. Yes, I like both of these a lot. R34’s really the only place I ever get to see it, but I’m thankful it’s at least somewhere.

NOTP

Connverse.

Oh my god, Connverse. Something that started cute, but that wore off fast into mediocrity. And then it crashed and burned, but like Lapis and Peridot, the lack of work involved with properly reconciling made this unbalanced and unhealthy.

“Always in love”, my ass. Can you tell I give zero shits that it’s canon?

This whole ship is a Broken Aesop to me.

BROTP

Uh... Steven, I guess. This is how Connverse should have stayed, in my opinion.

OTP

Pearl. Pretty easy choice when this is the only Connie ship I have any investment in.

Second Choice

Er... who was that kid she broke the arm of? Jeff? Let’s go with him, I guess.

Fluff Ship

Eh... guess I’ll go with Pearl again.

Angst Ship

Pearl... yet again. To be fair, Pearl is kinda made for angst ships and the parallels she and Connie share would make for some good angst.

Fave Poly Ship

Eh... I don’t really have one. Like, at least not one where Connie doesn’t end up left high-and-dry. Guess you could do a Connie/Pearl/Bismuth, but it doesn’t sound that riveting. Sub in Pink Pearl or Mystery Girl or even Rose herself... it’s roughly about as interesting.

Weirdest Ship

Can you tell how invested I am with Connie? Meh. I kinda do see merit in shipping her with Peridot (but of course I would), but that’s about it. Unless I wanna intentionally ship her with some townie or gem with creepy-ass implications.

[coinntoss]

Alright so this will be a bit rushed since I’m writing this on my break. Apologies in advance.

Okay so I only got to see bits and pieces of SDCCs SU panel thanks to whoever streamed it (I’m sorry, I don’t remember who it was and I can’t find the link anymore) because I just started my shift at work as it was going on. So a huge thanks to @su-nlt for providing a list of what happened/what was confirmed at the panel.

I’m loving some confirmation of things that were seen and speculated from the CYM and BotHaM specials. While White Pearl was originally Pink’s it wasn’t the other way around for CG Pearl. It’s also more or less confirmed that Bismuth and Lapis have no ill will towards each other over what happened during the war. My favorite thing to be confirmed was that Stevonnie is capable of fusing with other gems thanks to having a gem, and while Rebecca and the cast said there is no reason for them to fuse with another gem, their reactions to the question make it seem like it could actually be a possibility at one point (that, or at least proposed as an option).

So let’s jump into the trailer.

We start off with Steven and Amethyst being pulled in on a crane holding seemingly an injector part to an area that’s possibly where the barn used to be. I’m really curious to know what the symbol in the courtyard is and what this area is actually for. Is it an expansion of Beach City? Is it a civilization for the uncorrupted gems to live comfortably? Either way, they seem to be utilizing a mix of gem and human technology based on the injectior gems and the clock and remaining architecture.

In the time skip, it seems Steven has been spending the last two years visiting other planets, likely thanks to the superior technology of the leg ship. What exactly has he been doing? I’m not sure but it’s hinted that he has been helping a lot of the colonies adjust to a new way of life of not being under direct control of the Diamond Authority. There seems to be an Era 2 Peridot on this planet, along with some aquamarines. I have no way of knowing who the other gems are, but the bigger one may be a fusion? Just based on how much larger she is than the others.

Steven is wrapping up these missions and is ready to be back on earth, relaxing with friends and family.

When she appears. We still don’t have a name drop so exactly what type of gem she is, is still unclear. She has to be awfully powerful to be someone who can suddenly land on Earth after everything that has gone down during CYM to be considered such a serious threat. We do get some insight to her abilities however.

She stretchy.

So is this shapeshifting or an independent ability altogether? I’m going with the latter since there seems to be a theme in her stretching her limbs and being very rubber band-like in her attacks.

I love that she just—

Y E E T

It’s made very clear that this thing she totes along with her in her invasion is an injector drill. It looks more modern and advanced than the drills at the Prime Kindergarten. I love that it’s stylized as an hourglass to go along with the whole dealing with 41 hours until the destruction of all life on Earth.

So who is this new villain, exactly? We didn’t get a name drop. With the release date being just over a month and a half away, I have my doubts we’ll receive another trailer revealing anymore details, much less what her gem stone is. For once, I actually don’t have a theory on who she actually is. Is she a new/forgotten Diamond? She she the Morganite that used to own Rhodonites components? Someone completely different? I can’t say. But I do have a theory on her motive.

She’s here to kill Steven, and kill him specifically. She’s either One: a gem who has recently emerged or never got the memo and still sees Steven, or rather his gem as the face of the rebellion. This seems far less likely to me, though. That horse is long since dead. So the second option is: She’s a high ranking gem who sees the reformation of gem society as a threat to her status. She’s launched a direct, personal attack on the only gem who has ever shaken the entire gem hierarchy to its core and made a permanent change. For a gem of her status, what does it mean when she no longer has lower gems under her boot?

A few other points I want to make about the trailer before I’m done:

I’m not sure if this is lava with a pink hue or drill juice. Either way it’s a nice detail.

Look at Steven desperately trying to yank the drill out of the ground. He seems to be pulling his strength directly from his glowing gem, which may be a good look at just how far he has come with his powers and I’m excited to see what else he’s packing after two years.

Other than Pink Steven this might be the most angry and threatening we have seen Steven. He’s tired, desperate, and scared. Fighting is likely his only option at this point. This new enemy is out to actually end his life and that of all life on Earth. Not even White was seeking to do that. She just wanted to separate Steven from his gem.

On a lighter note: we’ve been shown a reformed Alexandrite AND Connie! She’s grown too of course but I’m happy she’s been keeping her hair short and that she’s still taller than Steven. And that smooch! I don’t know if it’s platonic or romantic but either way doesn’t matter to me I just think it’s great. I wanted to add pictures for that too but I forgot about image limit. Oh well.

Anyway, that’s all I’ve got. I just wanted to get all these thoughts out there before I started reading what everyone else had to say. Sorry this took so long! As I said, I’ve been at work during all of this. Please feel free to add your own thoughts to this! I’m excited to know what you all think.

[thisbibliomaniac]

Been a while since I’ve done this so all the asks please and thank

You’re lucky I love you 🙄 1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I’m perfectly average, and I’m good with that

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) A tiger 🐅

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? Classic 50’s / 60’s

4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Mario kart

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: My religion, my work, and whatever fiction (book, show, etc) I’m into at the time

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? WARNING: DON’T ASK ABOUT HER CATS

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? Need a person/thing dude

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] Uhhhhhh idk it’s in my bio

9: Are you ticklish? No

10: Are you allergic to anything? Maybe??¿?

11: What’s your sexuality? Straight

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? TEA

13: Are you a cat or dog person? Cats

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Elf

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? Crowder

16: How tall are you? 5'5"

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? Anything, I hate my name. I’d ever prefer if it were the French spelling

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] No idea tbh

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? In the biblical sense 😂

20: Do you like space or the ocean more? Space

21: Are you religious? Very much so

22: Pet peeves? Audible chewing / breathing / snoring

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? Diurnal

24: Favorite constellation? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

25: Favorite star? How?

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I guess

27: Any phobias or fears? Oh yes

28: Do you think global warming is real? Nope

29: Do you believe in reincarnation? No

30: Favorite movie? Sabrina 1995

31: Do you get scared easily? No

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? Family pets? Many. Mine own? Snuggles, and technically part of Stitch

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.] 23/30

34: What is a color that calms you? Pink

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? Paris

36: Where were you born? Ohio

37: What is your eye color? Brown

38: Introvert or extrovert? Introvert

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? No

40: Hugs or kisses? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? You. Come visit me.

42: Who is someone you love deeply? Obi

43: Any piercings you want? I’d like my second ear piercings back :/

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Depends

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? Noooooo

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! Indians #22 😍

47: What is a sound you really hate? 21 pilots

48: A sound you really love? When Loki sits in the hall and yells

49: Can you do a backflip? Lol no

50: Can you do the splits? LOL no

51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Errol Flynn and Judy Garland

52: Favorite movie? Didn’t I just answer this?

53: How are you feeling right now? Good

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I like the color it is

55: When did you feel happiest? Reading

56: Something that calms you down? Crochet

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] LOL probably

58: What does your URL mean? I like books

59: What three words describe you the most? Uh idk you tell me

60: Do you believe in evolution? Noooooooooooo

61: What makes you unfollow a blog? The sight of their url fills me with annoyance

62: What makes you follow a blog? A real person who posts like a real person

63: Favorite kind of person: Lots of people

64: Favorite animal(s): Cats

65: Name three of your favorite blogs. No, too many

66: Favorite emoticon: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

67: Favorite meme: Cow poetry

68: What is your MBTI personality type? Istj

69: What is your star sign? 🌟

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? No, it’s a constant source of amusement

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? None

72: Post a selfie or two? No

73: Do you have platform shoes? No

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I need another MRI!

75: Can you do a front flip? No

76: Do you like birds? No

77: Do you like to swim? Yes

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? I used to like both!

79: Something you wish didn’t exist: Taxes. Insurance.

80: Some thing you wish did exist: More space

81: Piercings you have? Ears

82: Something you really enjoy doing: Crochet

83: Favorite person to talk to: Stell

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? Funny

85: How many followers do you have? I’ve been hovering around 1200 for months

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? Idk probably not

87: Do your socks always match? Never

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? Uhhh idr? Maybe

89: What are your birthstones? I think Pearl?

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? Cat

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Plumeria

92: A store you hate? Menards and I’ve never even been there

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? None!!!!

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? For

95: Do you like to wear camo? No

96: Winter or summer? Winter

97: How long can you hold your breath for? No idea

98: Least favorite person? Rory

99: Someone you look up to: Elinor dashwood

100: A store you love? Earth fare

101: Favorite type of shoes D:

102: Where do you live? Ohio

103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? Nope! 104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Turquoise? 105: Do you drink milk? Sometimes. A2 low temp 106: Do you like bugs? NO 107: Do you like spiders? NOO 108: Something you get paranoid about? SPIDERS 109: Can you draw: No :( 110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? “Can you draw?” Oh also, “Why no ring?” By a patient I did not like. 111: A question you hate being asked? “How do you feel?” Hate it a lot. 112: Ever been bitten by a spider? Yes :/ 113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? Yes 114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Cloudy 115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: Obi, my puppy 116: Favorite cloud type: Uh. White? 117: What color do you wish the sky was? Pink 118: Do you have freckles? Some. Not as many as id like 119: Favorite thing about a person: Sense of humor 120: Fruits or vegetables? Both!!!! 121: Something you want to do right now: Get some work done, but SOMEONE needed every question answered 122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? Sky 123: Sweet or sour foods? Both 124: Bright or dim lights? Both 125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? Dragons 126: Something you hate about Tumblr: The users 127: Something you love about Tumblr: The users 128: What do you think about the least? I think about most things a lot 129: What would you want written on your tombstone? That’s one to think about. Suggestions? 130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? Me. No, whoever invented insurance. 131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Everything, but mostly hate 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Yes, because as bad as that is, the alternative is unthinkable 133: Computer or TV? Computer 134: Do you like roller coasters? No 135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? No 136: Are your ears lobed or attached? ?? 137: Do you believe in karma? No 138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -6 139: What nicknames do you have/have had? N/A 140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? Yes 141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? No 142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good I hope 143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving 144: What makes you angry Politics, and people who insist on talking about them when you’re really not in the mood 145: How many languages do you speak fluently? None 146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? What 😂😂😂😂 147: Are you androgynous? Hahahahhaahhaha 148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: None 149: Favorite thing about your personality: Definitely none 150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. There’s so many questions here 151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? 1890 152: Do you like BuzzFeed? No 153: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? [If you have one.] I didn’t 154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No idea 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? No 156: What embarrasses you? Second hand embarrassment 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Being late 158: Biggest lie you have ever told: Idk 159: How many people are you following? A lot 160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? Lots 161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? So many 162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? Uhhh 163: Last time you cried and why: No 164: Do you have long or short hair? In between 165: Longest your hair has ever been: Very long 166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? Depends on the religion 167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? Extremely 168: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes 169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No 170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes Happy?

[pitch-pearl-void]

What is Pitch Pearl?

Basically a romantic relationship between Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom, but it gets a lot more complicated after that because, obviously, they’re the same person in the show (thus the confusion and this question hitting my inbox every once in a while). How they’re shipped, how one character becomes two, and what Fenton’s and Phantom’s personalities are post separation varies depending on the shipper, making it a very, very volatile ship.

Some shippers prefer a version where canon Fenton and Phantom were never quite the same person, even if that means Phantom is a ghost that bonded to Fenton during the accident (that blob that merges with his DNA in the title sequence for example). He’s a little voice in Fenton’s head, he’s the reason his powers act up and their transformations are out of sync in the first season

He’s learning how to live through Fenton’s eyes and becoming more in sync with him throughout the series until something separates them.

Of course there’s also the AUs. A ghost hero falling in love with the son of ghost hunters, the ghost king meeting a human that stumbled through an artificial gate, a merman/dragon/mythical creature gets rescued ect. Danny isn’t a hybrid here, he is two paradoxical people who fall into a situation together. We just want complete opposite, yin-yang like people to fall in love, okay?

But then there’s also the dark side of the ship where Phantom is a ghost reminiscent of the TUE version, prior to merging with Plasmius. Because evil Phantom’s eyes are often red when he’s evil, the subpairing name for it is Red Pearl (lame name is my fault, sorry). How evil once again varies. Murderous evil? Possessive evil? Control Freaks evil? There was one story where Phantom killed Jack and Maddie after they experimented on him once too many times. There’s a picture where Phantom is holding his hand over Fenton’s eyes and blood is on his gloves and running down Fenton’s face like tears.

Ghosts are dangerous. This version explores how dangerous Danny can be without a human half to ground him.

(For the record, it’s not just in Pitch Pearl; I’ve seen very popular Danny x Sam art and fanfics that were just as scary)

We have a humorous version that is surprisingly less common given that it’s the most canon and the easiest to make happen. You might be familiar with it

Talk about complete opposites falling in love, no? :P Round out their personalities through some good ol’ hardworking character development and you’ll have two functioning characters that might be the same at their core but have very different personalities. Done a certain way, there’ll be a shit ton of psychology thrown into the mix because...identity crisis. When the personalities come out as Fun and Super Danny, the subpairing name is Heroic Amusement. The appeal is that opposites attract, especially if the other person is the missing half of yourself. Plus these FunxSuper versions are a lot of fun.

(I’d argue their personalities were already rounding out during the episode given that “Fun” Danny fell out of the Specter Speeder to save Phantom and Phantom rode a vacuum while cleaning but that’s just because I have an invested interest)

There’s a clone version as well, Vlad’s perfect (or not so perfect) son. Most clone Phantoms lack a human form, but it depends on the writer/artist. It’s not done very often, I’m guessing because it comes too close to Danielle and it’s not really self-cest. But it has a lot of potential.

The brilliance (and frustration) at this point is that all of this can happen...without the romance. Brotherly love and friendship between Fenton and Phantom is really adorable but often gets tangled up in the Pitch Pearl mass pile-up. It’s called Oreo Cookie but no one can search that tag so it’s being renovated to Phriendship. Twin brothers? Cute. Platonic mythical creature au? Wicked cool. That voice in Fenton’s head? His shoulder angel/demon and constant companion. Friends to the end.

There are...two stories? And at least one picture where they are twins. So incest is surprisingly low on the radar.

Mind you, Oreo Cookie/Phriendship is NOT Pitch Pearl because the feelings between Phantom and Fenton aren’t romantic in anyway. It’s often tagged as Pitch Pearl because the friendship and relationship have one goal in common: Danny Fenton and Danny Phantom must interact together. Fortunately, canon has given us many options to choose from when it comes to separating Danny

The easiest being

But there’s also

and

or

(If I’m remembering right: Life, Form, and Fantasy gems. Yes I’m winking right now.)

So there’s a lot of ways it can happen, even by accident.

These were only the most common ones I’ve seen (and written). But there a way more. There was an angel idea by Charliemcarthy! Idk the details exactly but I imagine Danny dies, Phantom remains ghost-bound and Fenton gets shunted into a guardian angel role before returning to protect Phantom and Amity Park. Kris and I had an idea where Danny found and put the ghost king’s crown on after the events of Reign Storm and it rejected Danny’s human half, splitting the two like a reverse portal accident.

Some shippers focus on the supernatural aspect, some just think they look adorable together, and some want that wholesome fluff. (Me. I want the fluff. I want clouds of fluff.)

Pitch Pearl can be so, so many things....

And after they’re separate or the universe has been established, what then? Who are they as characters? Who falls in love first and who pushes the relationship? Convincing a full ghost and a full human to fall in love is tricky at best of times because of the species divide, but there’s also conflict-inducing elements like their past as one person, Fenton’s parents, the other ghosts, Phantom’s fans and Fenton’s bullies, Fenton’s mortality and the consequences of Phantom being full ghost/no longer alive. Just a lot of ways their lives clash. So there are many directions Pitch Pearl can take.

But that’s for the writers to sort out and the artists to draw and the viewers to speculate. There are countless ways to begin the ship that then determines who they are as characters and how their romance develops. Probably too many. It gets confusing. I can understand why people dismiss it as a potential pairing, and yet I can’t. If you don’t like one version of the ship, ship it a different way. There are even stories where Danny is still a hybrid.

But to each their own.

[spinoff-antithesis]

love yourself

summary: sick and tired of feeling the way you've been feeling for years, you finally suck it up and go to the one gem you can think of for advice: garnet. ship: garnet x reader disclaimer: all i own is the plot in itself. an: human reader! platonic relationship. reader is eighteen and aromantic/asexual. requested by one of my friends. warning for aphobia.

can also be found on quotev

Love.

One word, one syllable, four letters. A universal word that every language had, and in every language it meant the same.

Everyone felt love. Everyone loved someone. Love was a word that every teenager dreamed of saying to their "special someone". Children grew up telling their parents "I love you" and their parents returning the three-word phrase (while some children weren't as lucky). Friends would platonically say their "I love you"s. Even you had grown up saying it.

But just because you said it, didn't mean you understood what it meant.

Love was a finicky subject around you. You had tried looking up why you never felt the emotion love. All you got were sites saying that you maybe just hadn't found the right person yet. A handful of sites said that you might fall into the aromantic-spectrum. You didn't believe the latter; instead, you opted for not having found the right person. That was in ninth grade.

In tenth grade, while you listen to your friends drone on about how 'hot' someone was, all you could do was look at the picture of the person and simply shrug and say "I don't really see it but okay."

When you turned seventeen, you still didn't understand the concept of falling in love or finding someone 'hot'. One of the several people you were friends with on Tumblr finally sent you links to several websites, each explaining aromanticism and asexuality in detail. You had messaged them back, saying, 'I'm still not sure if this is who I am. I'll keep this in mind though. Thank you.'

About a month before your eighteenth birthday, you finally understood what they meant. Figuring out that you really were an aromantic asexual... It felt like something both in and out of place.

You were now a senior at your high school, sitting in your Pre-Calculus class with a blank expression on your face. Your teacher hadn't come that day, and instead had sent a substitute. So, you sat doodling in your notebook, thinking.

You had tried coming out to several people. Your friends at school? Only a few accepted you. The others just scoffed and said "You're nuts and boring, (y/n)." You hadn't talked to them since, obviously. Your friends on Tumblr widely accepted you. Your mother? Yeah... Not so much. You had tried explaining what aromantic and asexuality were to her. She had barely grasped the topic of aromantic and did not believe anything about asexuality. She just simply said that "you're not a plant, (y/n)."

And then, of course, there were the gems. You hadn't told them anything. Truth be told? You really didn't plan to. While you tried your hardest to be optimistic and think that they'd accept you and wouldn't treat you differently, there was always that small, haunting thought that kept popping back up. They won't accept you. They'll think you're nuts, just like the girls you used to call friends. So, for a while, you just opted out of telling.

However, more recently, more and more people in your school had found out about what you had labelled yourself as. "Aromantic?" they'd ask. "I don't believe it. You said you loved drawing, didn't you?" "Asexual? Pfh. What are you, a plant? A worm?"

All week, you'd been trying to find the confidence to go, find, and ask for help. And all week, your self-doubt kept coming back and saying that no one would help you. You were beginning to grow relentless though. You pulled your phone out of your (color) hoodie pocket and stared at the turned-off screen blankly before turning it on and unlocking it. You scrolled through your contacts and finally tapped on Steven's name.

Steven. He was like a little brother to you. You had met the gems through him. It had been awkward when you had first met them, but almost a year and a half later, you felt yourself close to the gems. You liked all of them, equally. Amethyst's care-free personality always stuck out to you. Pearl's tender carefulness hidden behind a teacher and a warrior. Garnet's toughness and ability to stay strong, no matter the situation. You had learned through Steven about Garnet being a fusion after he had been taken to space and honestly, you found it to be adorable. You'd have no idea at first glance that Garnet was a fusion of love. Mostly because she was so stoic and silent.

Taking a breath, you shot Steven a quick text asking if you could come over after school to ask Garnet something. You didn't have to wait long for a response. 'Yeah!!! I'll let her know!' he had responded. You couldn't help but smile at the fourteen-year-old's excitement. Steven was such a character and you loved him for it.

There the word was again. Love. Was it really love you felt for Steven? Of course, the friendly older-sister type love. Maybe it was just an affection for the younger boy. You did see him as the younger brother you always wanted.

The shrill sound of a bell ringing brought you out of your daze and you shoved your notebook into your backpack and your phone back into the pocket from which you had grabbed it. Slinging the bag over your shoulder, you walked out of the classroom and past your locker, deciding that you wouldn't need anything from it.

You began the trek to the nearest bus stop. A little over ten minutes later, you were walking down to the beach, heading straight for Steven's. You felt uneasy and began questioning yourself. You did have to ask someone. Maybe Garnet held the answers you needed? You hoped she did. Now, more than ever? You really needed them.

You made your way up the steps and knocked on the screen door. You heard the sound of someone falling onto the floor and you couldn't help but chuckle. Steven's excited face was soon seen behind the film of the screen door and you smiled, looking down at him as he opened it.

"(Y/n)!" he said excitedly. You laughed, placing a hand on his messy mop of brown curls.

"Hey Steve-dude. How you doin'?" you asked, stepping inside so he could close the door. You walked over to the couch and placed your backpack on the ground, turning around as Steven walked over to you. He was barefoot, you noted, which slightly surprised you. He usually wore his sandals wherever he was.

"I'm good!" he responded. "Garnet's in the Temple. One sec," he said. "Garnet!" he yelled, cupping his hands over his mouth to make his voice louder. You cringed slightly at how loud his voice was. "(Y/n) is here!"

You sat down on the couch and motioned for Steven to join you. "It'll probably take Garnet a minute anyway. Wanna tell me how you've been since my last visit?" you asked, an excited gleam in your eyes. You always loved hearing stories about Steven and his adventures. In return, you always told him about how your day was in high school. You were surprised about how excited he always was.

The two of you elapsed into an easy conversation. A few minutes after the two of you had been talking, you heard the Temple door open. You and Steven both turned to look at it. You watched as Garnet walked out of the door and your smile faded into a small frown. While talking to Steven, you had almost forgotten about why you had come here.

"Hey Garnet," you said quietly, offering her a small wave. You usually felt a tinge of awkwardness around the gems (you didn't know them as well as Steven did). Usually, you felt fine around them. Almost like they were family.

"Hello," Garnet responded calmly. Steven stood up and you heard movement. Turning your head, you and Garnet both watched as Steven pulled on his shoes and grabbed something.

"I'm going out to the boardwalk. You guys want anything?" he asked politely. You both politely declined and he left. The screen door slammed shut behind him.

You turned back to Garnet, who was now moving towards the couch. She sat next to you and you shifted a tad so that you could look directly at her.

"Steven said you wanted to talk to me about something," she stated in her usual calm approach.

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. "Yes," you responded, beginning to regret coming here. "I..." Sighing, you began fiddling with your fingers. "For the past few years, I've been beginning to realize a few things about myself." You were struggling to keep your gaze on Garnet's mostly baby blue shades. "I... I don't understand the concept of 'love'. I know what it is. It just doesn't... Feel natural to me." Your gaze had dropped from Garnet to your hands. "A-and I don't feel attraction. Towards- towards anybody. I never have. One of my friends told me about something... Something called aromantic and asexuality. They- they said that that could be what I am. But I..."

"You need advice to know if it really is you," Garnet spoke. Her voice was calm, yet it sounded more motherly than it usually did (well, around you at least). You found yourself nodding.

You felt a hand on your shoulder and you blinked, looking up at Garnet. She had removed her shades (they were currently sitting in her lap), and her three eyes stared into two eyes. "Yeah," you whispered in a faint voice. Garnet simply offered you a small smile.

"I can assure you that it's a possibility," she said. "It's alright to not feel romantic or sensual attraction towards another person. It's alright if you let it define you." You blinked, eyes wide in surprise.

"But-"

"There are humans out there who are just like you, (y/n). Humans who don't fall in love with someone. Humans who don't feel attracted to other people, even though they feel everyone else is." You took a shaky breath, feeling your eyes become misty. "And even if they feel that way... It doesn't mean that they still can't find things they love. You could still love someone and not have any romantic attraction towards them."

You felt a tear escape your eye and Garnet pulled you into a hug. You broke into sobs, wrapping your arms around Garnet's waist, clinging onto her tightly. Garnet's left hand rested on the back of your head while her right hand rested on your back.

"It's okay if you don't feel like it's still you," Garnet said after a minute, as you began to calm down. "It might take time to come to peace with this truth."

"Even if it does," you murmured, sniffing, "I hope it's worth the wait." Garnet let you go and you did the same. Sitting up, you wiped at your eyes with the sleeve of your hoodie while Garnet put her shades back on.

"Hey, Garnet..." You said quietly, taking a deep breath. You looked up at the tall gem and offered her a genuine smile. "Thank you- for... For the support."

The fusion smiled gently. Before she could say anything, Steven entered the house, holding a bag (donuts? It didn't look like a bag from the fry shop). He glanced at the two of you and awkwardly stood there.

"Hey Steven," you said, offering him a smile. He stood in silence for a moment before smiling as well.

"I got you a doughnut! I didn't know what you liked so I just got you a plain one," he said earnestly. You laughed, an honest smile crossing your features. Garnet smiled behind you as Steven walked over, handing you the glazed doughnut.

"Thank you, Steven," you said, continuing to smile. The boy sat next to you on the couch and the three of you sat in silence.

As you headed home that day, all you could think about was how validated you felt. You felt like you had finally found out a piece of yourself. You finally felt like you weren't broken; not screwed up.

And as you closed your eyes to sleep, you couldn't erase the permanent smile that lingered on your face.

[cptsdofficial]

1-170 : * )

 Ask me! I'll answer honestly jesus fucking hell here we go

1: How tall or short do you wish you were? tbh i’m pretty ok with my height maybe like one (1) inch taller2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not) i want a sphynx cat shgdhg3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? i like all kinds of styles’ Aesthetic but mine is wearing the same ten t shirts over and over4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Ocarina of Time5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Jacob, dying and going to sleep6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? emotionally unstable7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]? i Hate candy corn its Disgusting8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic] melancholic have u seen my blog9: Are you ticklish? yea10: Are you allergic to anything? I’m allergic to Nut11: What’s your sexuality? people who give me attention12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? coffee13: Are you a cat or dog person? i like both but! probably more dog14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? vampire15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? youtube is a sin16: How tall are you? 5′8?17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? i chose my name lol bye18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] too much lol19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? idk not really but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯20: Do you like space or the ocean more? space!21: Are you religious? no22: Pet peeves? being alive

23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]? nocturnal

24: Favorite constellation? don’t have one25: Favorite star? don’t have one26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? no?27: Any phobias or fears? bugs28: Do you think global warming is real? who am i trump29: Do you believe in reincarnation? idk i don’t really Believe in it that much but i don’t believe against it30: Favorite movie? Totoro probably

31: Do you get scared easily? pretty much32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? idk a few34: What is a color that calms you? green or purple35: Where would you like to travel and/or live? i wanna visit Japan36: Where were you born? Indiana37: What is your eye color? brown38: Introvert or extrovert? introvert39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? not really but i still read them40: Hugs or kisses? neither lol

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? god42: Who is someone you love deeply? jacob43: Any piercings you want? no44: Do you like tattoos and piercings? on other people yeah, i kinda want tattoos45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so? smoke what lol i’m kidding yeah46: Talk about your crush, if you have one! no47: What is a sound you really hate? me talking48: A sound you really love? cronch49: Can you do a backflip? who am i sportacus50: Can you do the splits? no51: Favorite actor and/or actress? Samira Wiley!52: Favorite movie? whys this on here twice bye53: How are you feeling right now? like i still have 120 questions to go54: What color would you like your hair to be right now? what it is55: When did you feel happiest? with @cruelknives56: Something that calms you down? I’ve never once been calm in my life57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!] lol58: What does your URL mean? it means i’m a borderline and i’m also an ass59: What three words describe you the most? Bad Awful Theworst 60: Do you believe in evolution? it doesn’t matter if u believe in it or not it’s still tru lol61: What makes you unfollow a blog? everything62: What makes you follow a blog? bad content63: Favorite kind of person: Jacob64: Favorite animal(s): idk but i have rats65: Name three of your favorite blogs. mine66: Favorite emoticon: i’m on desktop but the sparkle or the bee67: Favorite meme: all memes are bad68: What is your MBTI personality type? infp!69: What is your star sign? cancer71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? the same ones72: Post a selfie or two? http://generallyqueer.tumblr.com/tagged/my-face73: Do you have platform shoes? no 74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? my head hurts75: Can you do a front flip? no76: Do you like birds? yea77: Do you like to swim? i used to but now dysphoria78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? swimming79: Something you wish didn’t exist: me lol80: Some thing you wish did exist: money in my wallet81: Piercings you have? only my ears82: Something you really enjoy doing: sleeping83: Favorite person to talk to: Jacob84: What was your first impression of Tumblr? bad85: How many followers do you have? on this blog, 19986: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? hwo is this someone healthy87: Do your socks always match? my socks haven’t matched in eight years88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? idk buut i’m not gonna try89: What are your birthstones? pearl and alexandrite!90: If you were an animal, which one would you be? frog91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? i.. don’t kno somebody tell me my aesthetic flower92: A store you hate? all of them93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? is that a challenge94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? fly cause my brain is enough95: Do you like to wear camo? never in my life96: Winter or summer? neither97: How long can you hold your breath for? don’t know not gonna try98: Least favorite person? me lol  jake99: Someone you look up to: death himself100: A store you love? idk pac sun

101: Favorite type of shoes high tops102: Where do you live? florida103: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? no104: What is your favorite mineral or gem? rose quartz probably!105: Do you drink milk? yea106: Do you like bugs? No!107: Do you like spiders? No!!!!108: Something you get paranoid about? being alive lol109: Can you draw: technically yes110: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? idk111: A question you hate being asked? to describe myself112: Ever been bitten by a spider? idk113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? yea114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? cloudy115: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: mothman116: Favorite cloud type: idk117: What color do you wish the sky was? idk118: Do you have freckles? no119: Favorite thing about a person: gives me attention120: Fruits or vegetables? fruit121: Something you want to do right now: stop answering these122: Is the ocean or sky prettier? sky123: Sweet or sour foods? sweet124: Bright or dim lights? dim125: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? me126: Something you hate about Tumblr: www.tumblr.com127: Something you love about Tumblr: validation128: What do you think about the least? idk129: What would you want written on your tombstone? it was lit fam130: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? myself131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? my entire appearance 132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? rarely133: Computer or TV? computer134: Do you like roller coasters? yea135: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? not that often136: Are your ears lobed or attached? lobed137: Do you believe in karma? kind of138: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? -1 but also 11139: What nicknames do you have/have had? who140: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? not really141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? no142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? lol i influence people143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? giving144: What makes you angry waking up every day145: How many languages do you speak fluently? 1146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? tbh who knows I lean towards mostly nb people and male-aligned ppl i think?? but i’m probably also aro so?? god147: Are you androgynous? I try148: Favorite physical thing about yourself: eyelashes149: Favorite thing about your personality: my 2 personality disorders150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. no one

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? dinosuars so i could get destroyed by that meteor152: Do you like BuzzFeed? no154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? no cause i don’t really touch people lol155: Do you like to play with others’ hair? no156: What embarrasses you? being alive157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: being alive158: Biggest lie you have ever told: i convinced my mom i was stabbed when i was seven159: How many people are you following? 205160: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? 1,400161: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? 9162: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? 195163: Last time you cried and why: today because my rat was mad at me164: Do you have long or short hair? short165: Longest your hair has ever been: like down to my ass it was bad166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religon? I mean, i have opinions on religion as a whole (i’m not religious myself) but really idc, i just respect everyone’s beliefs167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? tbh? not really168: Do you like to wear makeup? no169: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? no170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? yea

[elle-stevens]

The Break Up Blog - Day Ninety Three

So...today was a really good day. 

It started off crap because I woke up and it was morning time. But after I showered and prayed all of my hateful feelings out of my system, I actually felt much better. 

I went to work with a skip in my step. Yes, my classes had crappy moments when my students were going beserk and not listening to me. But I have eons of patience on good days, and that got me through some testy moments. 

After classes were done, I managed to find time to take a stroll around the running track with C and CI after we ate lunch in the cafeteria. I found time to help SH with practising her English from her textbook. I even briefly met two potential candidates for mine and C’s teaching positions at work, and one of them was from South Africa. I even exchanged Wechat contacts with her, so hopefully I can make a new friend while I’m still around in China. 

It helped that her friend who was also interviewing for my job was kinda cute too. 

It’s nice noticing new people in light of breaking up with X. Don’t get me wrong, I still noticed attractive men and women when X and I were dating, but I was super committed to her and would never have done anything about it. It’s just nice to look at people now and know that I won’t stay broken-hearted forever. I can notice things in other people, platonically or romantically, and see everything that is good, kind, beautiful or even just aethestically appealing without feeling any kind of emotional twinge. 

It’s my mom’s birthday today, so I summoned up my strength and energy to call her. I’ve been avoiding calling her for the past month since our last conversation; it was super weird and made less than usual, even by my mom’s usual standards of weirdness and hysteria. 

As it turned out, I didn’t need any emotional preparation after all. Maybe it’s just because it’s my mom’s birthday, but we had a really great talk! We talked about nothing of consequence just like always, but my mom still managed to share some precious emotional gems and pearls of wisdom with me that I didn’t realise I’d wanted or needed. I even got a chance to talk to my dad briefly and I ended up telling him all about what happened with SB and my decision to leave my school. My dad was really sweet and encouraging as always and that warmed my heart a lot. At the end of it, both my parents told me they loved me and that they’re proud of me. 

Honestly...that last part meant the most to me because I feel like I’ve been fucking up a lot in my personal and professional lives all year long. So for my parents to basically assure me that I’m not a total screw-up is all the affirmation I need. They’re far from perfect, but they’ve always supported me through my every whim and I’ve needed that so much. So even if my current job hunt is an unmitigated disaster, at least I know that my family will always be there for me.

That’s all the affirmation I need, really. That’s more affirmation than any romantic endeavour has ever given me and I needed to be reminded of that tonight.

Love is truly all around me. I just need to open my eyes and see it sometimes.   

I got a bit weepy with bittersweet tears when my mom sent me an old picture of her, my dad and G when she was a baby on WhatsApp earlier. The three of them look so happy, it kinda makes me wonder what happened to my parents and their marriage over time. 

Then again, it’s just Life. They got married in their mid-twenties and had G a year later, then me 3 years and then P 6 years later. My mom gave up her job to take care of us and my dad was always away on business for his job. They were trying to be good professionals, good parents, good marital partners and good church  ministry leaders too. It must’ve been a lot of pressure for both of them constantly trying to balance work, marriage, family and religion constantly. 

They’re not strictly happy together, but they’ve been married now for 39 years. That says a lot about their level of commitment to each other and to me and my siblings, given how shitty Life can be and is a lot of the time.  

I hope I can make it that long with my future wife or husband in this life. And imagine if I could stay married to someone that long and actually be happy too. 

What a world that would be.   

I decided to skip exercising tonight. Sure, it’s important to be active and stay healthy. But I’d honestly rather do things that make me happier tonight, like writing and resting before work tomorrow. 

I realised again today that happiness is indeed a choice. It’s a choice that you have to make every single day, even when Life and circumstances are telling you the exact opposite. 

Even though it’s hard most days and it’ll probably be hard to feel happy tomorrow, I’m gonna try my best to keep choosing happiness at every turn.