#the package has arrived

[bixels]

In the past, people in the Animal Crossing community would make fun of Tom Nook as a sleazy landlord. Since then, he's really rehabilitated his image as this 'heart of gold' businessman (he's the one who puts bells and furniture in trees for you to find! he adopted orphans! he donates to charity!), but New Horizons genuinely paints the most devious version of him.

He's successfully privatized settler colonialism: you pay HIM to move to a "deserted island" (which apparently the oceans in the AC world are just full of) and start a colony that he is directly invested in. At best he's running a weird vacation package scam (you arrive on the island with no money and in debt for "using his services"). At worst, he's using you to set up company towns. For god's sake, he literally has his own fake currency that he forces you to use to pay off your debt. But don't worry, he's repackaged it in a way that definitely doesn't sound like an MLM scam: the Nook Mileage Program!

You're no longer just his tenant or his temporary part-timer, you're his business lackey. The entire tutorial section of the game has you spending actual weeks running around completing tasks and doing hard labor to set up his colony. You're even tasked with preparing his properties and finding buyers for them. No, you aren't a tenant anymore. You work for the landlord. You are directly responsible for finding tenants for him. And he doesn't even fucking pay you. Not for setting up town hall and museum, or his nephew's shop –– which is the ONLY store on the entire island that sells necessities –– or bringing KK Slider to town, or helping populate his town. Not a single cent. No, actually, you have to pay HIM to BUY infrastructure like bridges and stairs and park benches. And all the while, he's telling you're the "resident representative"; you get to call the shots! That the reward is the community's progress. That what you're doing is in everyone's best interest (but most importantly, his).

Since NH's release, people have done a lot of legwork to say that Tom Nook isn't a capitalist while the game shows him at his very worst. He owns the only general store in town. You're forced to use a phone that he modified and branded as his own. Buy Nook-branded furniture and merchandise at the self-serve kiosk in the town hall, a governmental building! There's no conflict of interest here!

But hey, if you're tired of being the landlord/business mogul's goon, you can also find work as a deluxe resort home designer for a company that also pays you in their special company currency that can only be used to buy their products instead of a real salary! Because that's what the Animal Crossing franchise needs! More vacation homes!!!

[permo2003]

Panas 💛🤝💜

[blueskittlesart]

ups is just fucking with me at this point i think

[fiveredlights]

i totally forgot i ordered enchante and i woke up to an enchante package on my doorstep and for the smallest second i went oh my god the mv33 collection i wrote turned real before the braincells kicked in to go no five it’s the 333 crewneck you ordered

[laurapetrie]

ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)

[transmechanicus]

I know that logically everything that happens beyond my knowledge is a result of entirely mundane forces, but also I've got terminal pattern recognition and number association autism. So when two huge Admech reveals come on the day of and right after a really shit personal holiday, the Powerwolf album is releasing on another Day That Will Be Hard, and consistently throughout my undergrad warhammer reveal shows, codex releases, and band album drops would be like The Day after a major exam or challenge, it is really hard not to start considering that a subtly divine level of correlation.

[knightzp]

having a normal one today

ITS SO OVER

[altruistic-meme]

i have ordered a small travel companion but i fear he will not arrive on time :((((

[simplydnp]

Can I ask a slightly odd question? I want to buy the paperback of Dan’s book BUT I am kind of self conscious of my family knowing I’m buying a YouTuber book at my big age 😭 do you know if the packaging of their shops is discreet or if it has branding on the outside? I know I’m over thinking this haha

aww anon i totally understand. thankfully my family doesn't really get what youtubers even are, let alone if it's dnp 😂

here's the recent packaging i've gotten from dan's shop:

(don't mind the red circle, they accidentally shipped mine Express last time)

to me, they're very discreet. if your family specifically reads the packaging info, it does say what it is, but nowhere is it 'youtube merch'.

i hope this helps!

[barbwalken]

Guys, look at this angry little man. He is so fucking soft and bigger than I thought 😩😭💕

[anotherpapercut]

bro what the fuck are they doing with my package

[koririmao]

"W-What? G-Gyuvin? G-Gunwook? W-w-what's going on?" Hao stammered as he looked at the figures beside him back and forth. "Hao..." Gunwook growled "Hao-hyung..." Gyuvin whispered huskily. "Y-yes?" Hao nearly whimpered from how anxious he was. "D-do you.... do you know where the bathroom is? Gunwook has been holding it in since we got here" he continued, earning a slap from the younger. "Gyuvin!" "Ow, I whispered it!"

[araneitela]

You know, I guess it works as a warning in case it were... still needed; but if you choose to follow me (or follow me back), you need to be inherently ready for (usually) long answers to even the simplest of things. Or long tag rambles at the very least. This is also why I can take quite a while to respond to things, but I get to them inevitably. I'm also actively working on getting things out faster. You know, when it isn't in the 30s/nearing a 100 degrees.

I'd apologize, but this is just the way I function. Hi, I'm Sae and I still over-analyze in 2023. Honestly, Franz Kafka couldn't have given me a more perfect OOC tag.

[spookdoodles]

My big merch project for Sunnycon is almost done 😭

[soft-serve-soymilk]

The problem with having puppers is that you start scolding everything out of habit:

Aus post who is keeping my package in customs for 387903 million years? No :(

C-ptsd induced emotional flashbacks with the classic flinch response? No 😓

youtube who paused my song RIGHT before the best part to ask ‘time to take a break ^^?’ even though I never set such a thing and I bet it’s choosing to be annoying on purpose bc I deleted it last week to prevent distractions and it has since been reinstated: Nooo 😡

[hua-fei-hua]

tag game from @cadriona~~ 15 questions for 15 mutuals

1. are you named after anyone? uhhh my middle name comes from like, One of my white ancestors, though i don't remember the exact tracing of the bloodline rn

2. when was the last time you cried? honestly not sure, but i feel like it was not terribly long ago. less than a month ago, i think; i can be a crybaby sometimes

3. do you have kids? legally no; biologically also no; but emotionally? the number is fathomless.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot? i don't feel like i'm a terribly sarcastic person, but many other people disagree. just today one of the kids at work asked me why i use sarcasm a lot! i think at this point my habit of "saying ridiculous things with full sincerity and then expecting people to understand that its sheer absurdity means it's a joke (but still actually doing said ridiculous thing if people call it a bluff)" is just hard for people to parse in general, but since i just roll with whatever they think i'm being, it's not a big deal.

5. what sports do you play/have played? this question is so funny bc recently i've been joking that i'm the only non-jock at my workplace, but my coworker in aquatics tried to rope me into lifeguarding for the summer when he found out i could swim, and i did marching band in high school. oh, and i took a fencing course in uni before plague.

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? their jacket, then their hair. if you change both of these things at once i might have trouble recognizing you.

7. eye color? brown. you know how dominant genes are.

8. scary movies or happy endings? for the most part happy endings, but if you're too saccharine about the beginning and middle then i'm going to wish you gave me a scary movie instead.

9. any special talents? i can do calligraphy with italic / oblique pen tips (think gothic blackletter, even tho gothic is probably one of my shittiest hands); i can burp at will still; i can touch type at around 92 wpm (certified)

10. where were you born? in a hospital <3

11. what are your hobbies? good lord that's a doozy these days. regularly i read n write fic (obviously), play genshin (still), study fandom (specifically the weeb sphere and its history), and code my shrine of cringe neocities. (and also sometimes stream any one of these things to friends) irregularly i watch youtube, keep a diary, read manga n watch anime, press flowers, do calligraphy, scanlate manga, typeset n bookbind fic (physically restrained by everyone from buying $500 worth of fonts bc Literally no one understands my font disease except other typesetters) mostly, but i have god knows how many other dormant hobbies (arranging music, editing fonts, edit videos, etc.) hiding in the cracks that i should probably just put on a resume by this point. you know how it is with adhd.

12. do you have any pets? not anymore, unless you count [pet] projects, in which case yes, the spreadsheet project abt fandom migrations in particular

13. how tall are you? abt 5'6", more specifically 166.4 cm.

14. favorite subject in school? chemistry, though i english/literature was a close second, and math (aside from geometry and statistics) is still beloved.

15. dream job? someday i'm gonna teach chemistry to a bunch of high school idiots, and i'm gonna love them all so fucking much, and i'm gonna be so fucking happy that i'm still alive.

tagging (if you want!!) @stardust-make-a-wish @reach-4-thesky @cece-0708 @yongnep @kanonavi @krackerka @isnt-it-pretty @yume-fanfare @aranarumei @italiantea and now staring at my mutuals list i have started to lose my nerve so i'll leave it at ten LOL but if you wanna do it too you can just say i tagged you ( •̀ ω •́ )y